#also when i say “probably just for advertisement tracking” that's not just an assumption

[dravidious]

My Firefox at some point developed an issue where after a computer restart it would take like 10 minutes to start working. Like I would open it and it would open and be able to do some stuff, but trying to go to any webpage just would not happen until like 10 minutes later and then it'd be fine. A similar thing would happen if I closed it, opened some other program like a game, and then opened Firefox again, though not as extreme. I figured it was doing something like loading a bunch of stuff into RAM maybe? And then opening another program would overwrite the RAM so it would have to do it again? idk what exactly was happening. I tried clearing my browsing history to see if that would help and it didn't, and I didn't want to mess with the cookies, so I just gave up and accepted it.

Then, when I was working on an HTML game with a save system, I needed to track down where the files were getting saved, and I found the "default" storage folder which had ~2.5 GB of data in it, including ~1.5 GB of tumblr cache data. I skimmed through the 500+ folders and deleted everything that didn't seem important (why does random.org need to store data on my computer?). It took a long time, but I eventually deleted like 90% of the folders and got it down to 200 MB. It was mostly just out of anger at the wasted space; why are all these sites that I've visited once to read an article storing crap on my computer!? Probably just for advertisement tracking and garbage like that. But I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was what was taking Firefox so long to load.

After I booted up my computer this morning, it took Firefox 30 seconds to open tumblr.

[iamthedukeofurl]

On “Play Another System”

I see a pretty constant drumbeat of Don’t play D&D! Play X System instead!”, which is not INCORRECT by any means, but I feel those kings of posts are often incomplete. It’s wrong in the same way that “Don’t Order from Dominoes, Order from Quiznos!” is incorrect, because they serve different food. Different RPGS are good for different things, and all have different built-in assumptions about what the player will find enjoyable. These assumptions can be reflected in different ways. D&D assumes that the things you’ll find fun are interacting with the mechanics of character creation, tracking spending resources over an adventuring day, and engaging in fantastical tactical combat. It also assumes you don’t mind a decent amount of mechanical complexity with your character.

THEMATICALLY, D&D assumes what you want is a high-fantasy action-adventure story. So, I see people saying, for example, “Don’t Use D&D For a Superhero game, Play Masks instead!”. Masks is a fine game, but it’s got it’s own assumptions about what the players will find fun, and if what you want to play is “D&D but we’re Superheroes”, Masks is kind of a terrible choice. Masks isn’t a game about tactical combat or engaging with the mechanics of building a character. Mutants and Masterminds or HERO system are probably better for that, but those have their own mechanisms of mechanical engagement (For example, both use a complex points system for building custom powers from scratch, rather than using a class system). So if what you want is D&D, but as Superheroes, hacking D&D into a Superhero game is probably best. I DO think it’s good for people to branch out the RPG systems they’re playing, but it’s important to give good recommendations that include some idea of the mechanical experience of playing the game rather than just describing the theming, or something you can do in the game. It’s the equivalent of saying “Oh, you should read this story, it’s got Enemies to Lovers”, when that could equally apply to a story about two rival bakers entering a competition and ending up opening a bakery together, or a story about two generals who end up sharing a single kiss at a diplomatic event before they both die leading armies against each other. It’s also important to note that there is a difference between telling a story about something and playing a game about something. D&D is pretty light on any mechanics for roleplaying or storytelling, so those aspects tend to be pretty free-form. If you played D&D and loved RPing how your rag-tag band of outcast misfits comes together into a found family, you may assume that you’ll enjoy an RPG that advertises itself as being about a rag-tag band of outcast misfits coming together as found family. However, actually playing such a game may mean you find that the thing you enjoyed so much, telling this story about these people, is constrained by mechanics intended to “create” that sort of story by giving you specific guidance about when your character is allowed to accept affection from others or what have you. My point is that as you explore the many wonderful RPGs out there, it’s important to think about what you enjoy about different games, rather than just focusing on the thematic aesthetics or buzzwords.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Dukexiety on Halloween?

Ooh, this sounds cool!

Dukexiety, Halloween

TW: Death, blood, at least one demon

-Let’s start off with the assumption that ghosts can cross to our world on Halloween. 

-Enter Virgil and Remus, two young ghosts looking to have some fun.

-A little background information: Virgil was murdered in an unsolved case thirty years ago, and no one knows how Remus died because he has a gorier story every time. They do know that there was a fair amount of blood.

-They’re dating, but a relatively new couple (still, Remus has like 3,573 nicknames for Virgil). 

-More background information: Halloween is the time when ghosts can cross over to the land of the living, but it’s not the “ghosts and ghouls running wild” that it used to be in the old times. 

There are rules and regulations! Tickets to be purchased, tour groups to join, and gift shops to be set up in the graveyards! I went to the land of the living, and all I got was this lousy engraved lamp.

-Remy is a tour guide. He’s also a demon. He’s also 100% done with the tourism business. His job is to make sure the spirits of the dead stick to their approved areas.

-Remus and Virgil are determined to not stick to their approved areas. Halloween only comes once a year, and it’s their first time haunting the world as a couple! Virgil’s weirdly insistent on not staying with the group. But they’ve been planning for this. They execute their master plan (which also contained a fair amount of blood) and escape from the tour group into the evening.

-Now we have a main plot of Remus and Virgil haunting this small town, and a subplot of Remy trying to Stop Them.

-The couple decides to go make a haunted house more...correctly advertised. 

-The haunted house, by the way, is run by the resident troupe of theater kids, led by Roman and Janus. It’s very low budget, but everyone’s trying their best.

-Virgil clouds several rooms in darkness and lets his eyes glow from the corners. Remus tears off his own arms and waves them around. Stuff like that.

-The theater kids are all really freaked out because they’re in charge of the acts and this was not on the list. They’re all ready to abandon the project, when Janus points something out: This is AMAZING for business! The buzz of satisfied customers is spreading down the hills, attracting more people!

Finally, finally, THE DRAMA DEPARTMENT WILL GET FUNDING!!!

-However, Virgil and Remus have gotten a little bored and are ready to move onto the next thing. So off they go, laughing and still trying to reattach Remus’s arms. It’s Virgil’s turn to choose what to do, and one of the things he missed the most about being alive was going to the movies.

-The drive-in is showing Beetlejuice that night, so they go to that. 

-Logan runs the local drive-in movie theater. He can see ghosts, and he’s made some payoffs to the demonic higher ups to keep the spirits of the dead out of his business.

-But Virgil and Remus are just teenagers, and they’re being total dorks, and they’re doing that thing where you rest your hand close to the other person and the ever so slowly take it....god, it’s adorable. So, Logan turns a blind eye to it and continues making popcorn, resolving to only kick them out if the bloody one starts making a mess.

-Meanwhile, the theater kids realize that their ghosts are gone, and business is starting to decline again. Janus decides desperate times, desperate measures, and starts summoning.

Roman: Do we really need to make a Faustian bargain to get funding?

Janus: In this economy? Yeah.

-Remy had been hot on the trail of the duo, and almost caught them before they got into the drive-in. However, he feels his form being yanked across town like a worm on a string. He’s been summoned by the theater kids. 

-He doesn’t even stop to bargain because this night has been LONG and he needs COFFEE. He just kind of possesses Janus and runs back towards the drive-in.

-It’s towards the end of the movie when Remy gets back, and Virgil’s head is on Remus’s shoulder at this point. Remy’s about to catch them when Logan spots him.

-Logan doesn’t want the spirits of the dead in his drive-in. He paid to have the spirits of the dead not be in his drive-in. There is not going to be a demon in his fucking drive-in.

-He grabs some popcorn salt and smiles. There won’t be one for long.

-Fight scene! In one corner, we have “Remy without his morning caffeine”! He is full of spite! In another, we have Logan! He has worked concessions long enough to know which foods have high salt levels!

-The fight ends in a stalemate when Remy notices that the sounds of “Jump In The Line” have long faded, the credits are over, and the boys have escaped to god knows where else.

He is so fired.

-For the next thing, Remus wants to go classic and haunt a house. A house of someone sweet and a little lonely preferably.

-Patton has just finished giving out candy to the little trick-or-treaters. His house is semi-famous to Halloween candy seekers for the wonderful snacks! He closes the door and decides he’s going to go read something nice.

-Before the duo go in to scare Patton, Remus notices that Virgil seems nervous. He asks him what’s wrong, and Virgil eventually admits that he heard through the underworld grapevine that his little sister, now in her thirties, just had a kid. He really wants to get a glimpse of his niece, but he’s worried that something will go wrong or something will prevent him from getting there or-

He’s just kind of freaked out.

-They go in to scare Patton. Virgil peers with glowing eyes from corners while Remus rattles the furniture. Patton barely reacts.

-Here’s the thing about sweet and a little lonely people: a good deal of them own a lot of cats. 

-Patton is immune to eyes in the dark, loud bumps in the night, far away screams, scratches on the walls, blood stains on the carpet, heads rolling across the floors, cold spots, the fireplace suddenly roaring to life, and levitating figures (he has some weird cats).

-Remus and Virgil try more and more ridiculous things to get Patton to pay attention to them, until they’re both (figuratively) dying of laughter.

-MEANWHILE Roman arrives at the drive-in on the verge of tears. He knows that Janus was headed vaguely in this direction. He also knows that Janus is possessed oh god no this wasn’t how this night was supposed to go. Logan finds this teenager wandering around and panicking, and asks him what’s wrong. Roman tells him that that his friend (who he totally doesn’t have feelings for) is possessed and has he seen him?

-Logan has, indeed seen a possessed teenager with a ridiculous bowler hat. He just emptied popcorn salt on his head. Lo agrees to help Roman search and possibly exorcise.

-Back at the house, Virgil is literally levitating Patton and he isn’t noticing. After all, you can never know when you’re being haunted when you have cats as weird as his.

-The doorbell rings. Patton opens it, not noticing the drop to the floor, and expecting a trick-or-treater up far too late. He was not expecting a sixteen year old in a bowler hat and sunglasses to barge past him, empty a bag of coffee grounds into his mouth, and start yelling at thin air that it almost got him fired.

-Remus and Virgil say something along the lines of, “Oh shit, Remy” and run. But Remy contains coffee now, and nothing will stop him.

-They realize that they won’t be able to both escape. Remus lets himself be caught so Virgil can escape and see his sister and niece. 

-Virgil’s sister is at a Halloween celebration in the world famous corn maze. Yes, this town has a world famous corn maze. Virgil searches the maze, still equal measures worried for and in love with his boyfriend. 

-Remy (still possessing Janus) isn’t that far behind him, but he’s slowed down immensely by Remus’s superpower: being the worst travel companion ever when he wants to be. Remy oh so desperately wishes he could kill dead people and that this night was over.

-Roman and Logan track Remus and Virgil because if you can see ghosts, it’s really easy to know where Remus is, due to the near constant trail of blood. They ask some questions to Patton, who still blames everything on his cats, then keep following the trail towards the corn maze.

-Virgil eventually finds the center of the maze. And there’s his kid sister, who isn’t a kid anymore. He wonders if she kept up playing piano and who she married and what her life was like after he left it. And the baby! It’s like a loaf of bread with eyes!!!

-Virgil’s calm, for once. He starts to move toward the exit, when he bumps into Remy (Remus is clinging to Remy’s leg and lying on the ground to try and slow him down. It isn’t helping much, but it helps a little). He sprints in the opposite direction.

-Virgil’s chased by Remy, who’s chased by Roman and Logan, and they’re all very, very lost in this world famous corn maze.

-Remus is continually yelling at Remy, who tries to explain that he’ll lose his job if he doesn’t do this. Remus’s pleas are kind of effective, however, and Remy is starting to feel like a terrible person demon. 

-Virgil reaches a dead end in the maze. All parties round the corner and stand in the same dead end (except Patton, who’s at home reading his book).

-An exorcism is attempted. The exorcism fails because Remus’s blood trail ruins the salt circle.

-The exorcism gives Virgil the time to climb up a corn stalk and begin running across the corn.

-Once the exorcism fails, Roman is desperate. He takes Janus’s hands and confesses everything, asking him to come back.

-It works! Whether that’s because of the power of love or the demon feeling socially awkward is anyone’s guess.

-Remus also escapes, scales the corn, and runs across the stalks. Virgil and Remus run like the wind across a world famous corn maze.

-Remy considers catching them. He probably still could. But...he can probably think of some excuse to not get fired. Or something. He’ll think of something, and lets the boys get away.

-Virgil and Remus, grinning from adrenaline and an amazing night, walk back toward the graveyard together, hand in hand as the sun comes up and drives away the shadows.

Thanks for the prompt!

I might end up changing that names and making this an original thing one day

This was really fun to write!!!

[queenmylovely]

Wedding Party II

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. A game night between friends will surely take off the tension from whatever’s going on with you and Ben. 

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: cussing, building tension, charades 

A/N: This is the third and final (multiple) part(s) of my 500 follower celebration!! Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I was planning three parts for this, but I got into the charades so we’re looking at four instead! (p.s. if you want to try to guess the charade movies before the characters do that’s how I tried to write it lol) Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

Part I, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Mini ii, Masterlist

(yet again wonderful gif by @mrbenhardys) 

💖💖💖

Ben couldn’t believe how close he had come to kissing you the other night. He had diverted it last second by kissing your cheek, but even that teetered too far over the line of what was supposed to happen. If fucking someone at Rami’s wedding wasn’t allowed, then developing a full-on crush wasn’t either. But boy was he.

Even though you were the one that had mentioned hearing about him when the two of you first met, he was surprised to see that all of the references to you by his friends hadn’t failed to live up. In fact, he would probably say that what they said didn’t do you justice. Though he wouldn’t advertise it, he had also done a quick instagram stalk and thought you were even more beautiful in person.

Rami hadn’t slipped up like Lucy and mentioned your name specifically when telling him not to sleep with anyone at the wedding, but even so, Ben found all of his focus on you when it came to that rule. Whether it was because you had known of but never met each other for so long or simply because of who you were, you fascinated him.

Which he knew was dangerous in this particular situation. But he reminded himself that he would only have to see you at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. He thought that maybe after that something more could develop, but until then he would have to stay on track.

_

But when Ben got out of the car to head into Rami and Lucy’s building and held the door open for someone behind him, his whole plan was ruined when that person was you.

“Oh, hi!” you said cheerily and he said hi back; you were trying to mask the mixture of excitement and dread you were feeling. Excitement at seeing Ben and spending time with him and dread at seeing Ben and spending time with him.

The two of you walked across the lobby and to the elevator. Ben pushed the button and you waited together. He had the same internal dilemma going on but he just smiled and said, “I can assume you’re going to game night too then?”

“That’s a safe assumption. Haven’t seen you at one of these before,” you pointed out, trying to make casual conversation. The elevator dinged and you both got on, Ben again hitting the button for the correct floor.

“Yeah, my last film had a lot of night scenes and stuff so I was always busy. But that’s in post and my next one will be mainly day shoots so I’ll be able to come to more of these,” Ben explained as the elevator doors opened and the two of you walked into the hallway.

“We’ll be seeing a lot of each other then,” you commented during the short walk to their front door. You reached up and knocked twice.

“Yep.”

Then at the same time, the two of you sighed. Your heads whipped towards each other in confusion and you were both about to say something in response or question when the door opened.

“Ben! Y/N! You made it, and look at you arriving together, already practicing for the wedding, huh?” was Joe’s excited greeting when he opened the door.

“Hey mate, good to see you,” Ben told Joe, giving him a hug.

“Hey Joe,” you said with a smile as you hugged him. Then you teased, “Did Lucy and Rami hire you as their butler or do you just really enjoy opening doors?”

Ben laughed at what you said even though he didn’t have the full context and you felt your cheeks heat up.

As the three of you walked into the apartment Joe just barked out a laugh and told you, “You’re hilarious.”

You smiled at him, “I try.”

Once you reached the living room, you saw both Rami and Lucy there, setting up the snacks. Gwilym was there as well, but he was pouring a couple glasses of wine. They all put down what they were holding and came over to do the usual greetings and such. Apparently, it was only to be you six because some of the other regulars had other obligations.

After everyone had a little plate of snacks and a glass of red or white, Rami began his usual little spiel at the beginning of game nights, “Alright everyone, welcome to game night. We will be playing team games, so partner up now.”

“Dibs on Gwil,” Joe called out, looking directly at you with a smirk. If only he knew how good he had really gotten you.

You shot back, “That’s fine by me. I’m sure Ben will be a great teammate.”

All the same, Ben shot Joe a quick look that he didn’t understand and you shot Lucy a quick this-wasn’t-my-fault look that she accepted with a nod.

Rami continued, “Great, we have three games lined up, but we can play as many times as we like. Lastly, remember that this is strictly a friendly competition, so no sore losers when Lucy and I beat all of you,”

“Oh it’s on,” Joe replied. Then he and Rami got into a little trash-talk.

Ben laughed and turned to you, “Are you competitive?”

“Well… I suppose that’s something one could say about me,” you said with a sheepish smile.

“I hope I’m not too big of a disappointment then, I’m not the best at these types of things,” Ben said with a slightly awkward smile.

“I’m sure you’ll be great,” you said, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Anyway I’m not nearly as competitive as them.”

You nodded towards Rami and Joe who were jokingly getting in each other’s faces, unable to hold back their own laughter. Ben and you burst into laughter, joining Gwil and Lucy’s at the sight. It took you a second longer to realize that your hand was still on Ben’s shoulder. You only did because Ben had looked at it and you removed it before it became so awkward you had to leave.  

Luckily, Rami and Joe were done with their shenanigans and everyone was ready to start the first game. It turned out to be charades and little slips of paper were quickly divided between the three groups.

Rami and Lucy went first and both were ridiculously quick at guessing each other’s answers. You supposed it came with living together and such as well as being actors.

Then Gwil and Joe were up and they didn’t fare quite as well. For some reason, Joe was being far too elaborate with his acting and would mime putting on a swimsuit, putting on sunscreen, swimming, and then being chased by something just to get Jaws. Gwil was good at the charade as soon as he actually started, but he seemed to overthink every word before he started.

Finally, it was you and Ben. You went first, saying before you started, “Sorry I’m literally the only non-actor here.”

Ben waved you off with a laugh. Then Lucy flipped the timer over and you quickly opened the first slip. It said Jurassic Park and you breathed a quick sigh of relief. Then you pointed at Joe, put your hand to the height of a little kid and did T-Rex arms.

“Jurassic Park!” Ben exclaimed and though Joe said something about that not being fair, you moved on.

Next you mimed taking a ring off and holding it up to your eyes, staring at it intensely.

“Lord of the Rings, next!”

The next one was harder, but you got going. First, you pretended to be eating toast and coffee. Second, you did some characters: one with crossed arms and a frown, one flexing muscles, one reading a book and pushing up glasses, one flipping their hair and giggling, and one pulling their hair and shaking their head.

“Okay, okay, eating and drinking, a meal? Breakfast? Breakfast. And these are different people? I don’t know that first one. Then a jock? A nerd? A pretty girl? Oh, oh! The Breakfast Club!” Ben shouted, looking proud of himself for getting it and you couldn’t help but smile before moving onto the next one.

You ended up getting five before time ran out, just one less than Lucy had on her turn. Now it was Ben’s turn to do the charading and you were ready to be the one guessing.

As you switched spots, Ben whispered to you with a smile, “Good job.”

Trying not to show your happiness at his little praise, you just nodded and returned a whisper of, “Thanks.”

Ben got ready, doing a little jog in place warmup as a joke and you probably laughed harder than necessary. Then Lucy counted down from three and flipped over the timer.

As Ben picked up the first slip, you leaned forward to pay attention.

With a nod, Ben started his first charade. He mimed someone in the shower and for a quick second you pictured what he would look like in the shower. But once you said shower, he moved to the next part, getting out of the “shower” and then whipping back the curtain and pumping his from near his head to in front of him again and again. Then you realized that he was pretending to stab someone.

“Psycho!” you yelled and Ben grinned.

After picking up the next slip the first thing Ben did was scrunch up his face in a snarl, crouching down to all fours and making a hand into a claw, stalking closer to you. You felt a weird mixture of apprehensiveness and something else as he got closer and had to remind yourself this was a clue.

Ben was only about a foot away from your legs before you blurted out, “Cat, uh, lion, tiger!”

Tiger was the one so Ben stood up and then mimed rowing a boat. You thought for a second before quickly stating, “Life of Pi.”

Two more slips later, you were only two away from a tie with Lucy and Rami and you had about thirty seconds on the clock.

Ben snatched up another slip and read it, a frown taking over his face for a second. Then he recovered and started miming drumming. Next he did guitar and keyboards then singing.

“Drums. Ok, guitar, keyboards, oh a band!” you said and Ben nodded before moving on.

Next he started dancing, which you could hardly stop from laughing at, but just because it was cute. He was doing lots of 70’s moves like the hustle, YMCA, John Travolta’s move from Saturday Night Fever, and others you didn’t know the name for.

“The hustle. Um, YMCA? The Village People? Disco?” you said as you tried to stifle your giggles.

Ben nodded quickly and then motioned to keep going.

“Um… a disco… band?” you questioned and got another carry on gesture from Ben. “ABBA?”

After a thumbs up, Ben mimed the sign for movies and then singing and it came to you and you jumped up, “Mamma Mia!”

“Yes!” Ben exclaimed right as Lucy called out time. He came over to you by the couch and brought you into a tight hug that almost lifted you off the ground and you laughed out loud in surprise.

Lucy cleared her throat and you and Ben let each other go quickly, turning to look at her. She just raised an eyebrow and smirked, “You know you two didn’t actually get enough to tie me and Rami.”

“Good thing it was just a friendly competition,” you pointed out with an equally fraught with meaning smile.

“And we have two more games to try and beat you guys,” Ben pointed out, with a regular smile.

“Actually, I think you mean that you have two more games to lose to us,” Joe cut in, breaking all the tension and making everyone laugh good-naturedly.

_

The night went on and in the end Rami and Lucy did win because while they lost to you and Ben in trivia, they beat everyone during taboo. Poor Gwil and Joe didn’t win anything, though they claimed that was because they were out of practice.

Once the games were done, music was turned on and everyone got to chatting. You were talking with Joe and Rami about New York and the other three were talking about their upcoming projects more in depth.

Then you realized your drink was running low and excused yourself to go refill it. What you didn’t see as you were walking over to where the wine was was Ben jumping up and excusing himself to do the same.

Just as you were reaching to grab a bottle, you heard him say, “Allow me.”

You turned to realize he was standing just a step behind you and you slowly placed the bottle in his outstretched hand. Then he reached around you to set down his glass and grab yours and you sucked in a breath at the feeling of him just barely brushing against you.

Ben started pouring the wine and as he was doing so, looked up at you with a hint of a smirk on his face.

You realized you were probably just staring at him with your mouth open so you fixed your face and said, “So is this becoming a thing? Are you always going to make my drinks for me?”

Ben laughed lightly and handed your glass back to you. As he picked up his glass, his arm grazed your waist and you had to physically take a step back so you wouldn’t take one forward and kiss him.

Then you heard loud laughter coming from the couches and you both looked to see Rami sitting on Lucy’s lap, both of them laughing so hard they could barely breathe. You smiled at the joy and Ben looked at you with a smile.

“They’re so in love,” he commented and you nodded, a dreamy look in your eyes.

“I’m so excited for the wedding. It’ll be beautiful,” you replied. “I’ve been to a lot of weddings and not everyone’s meant for it but they are.”

“Really?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, some of them are more in it for the wedding than the actual marriage you know?” Ben nodded. “Luce and Rami want a special day, but it’s more important to them who’s there than what it looks like.”

“I had a mate from primary who must’ve had over 300 people at his wedding. I didn’t even get to talk to him and we had been best mates when we were young, so they’re definitely doing the right thing with quality over quantity too,” Ben told you.

“Wow, yeah. I guess along the same lines I can see what Lucy means. But it was a little much to tell me we couldn’t--” you stopped yourself right before revealing that you weren’t allowed to sleep with Ben to Ben. You hoped that Ben didn’t notice your abrupt stop, but he did, his brows furrowing.

“We couldn’t…?” he asked, his thoughts flashing to his conversation with Rami.

“I just-- we, like, the guests, couldn’t-- well shouldn’t-- or it’d be better to--”

“Hey Y/N, who was it from our class that got married recently with that wild theme wedding?” Lucy called over to you, and you quickly took it as a chance to get out of this conversation with Ben.

So you turned to Lucy and as you spoke, and slowly walked over to where they were, leaving Ben to either stay where he was alone or join everyone else in the conversation, “It was Amanda. And the theme was that elf… village? From Lord of the Rings, the one where Cate Blanchett lived.”

“Lothlórien,” Gwil informed everyone.

“Sure. Some of it went over my head, but it was pretty,” you commented. By that time, Ben had taken a seat next to you, his thigh touching yours. The conversation turned into a debate about theme weddings but it was hard to stay fully focused with Ben’s warmth interrupting your thoughts. Those damn thighs aren’t fair, you complained to yourself.

_

This time, you were the first to get up to leave since you had brunch with a friend the next morning.

“Are you good to drive?” Lucy asked since you had had three glasses of wine.

“Oh, I took an uber here, so I was just going to take another one back,” you answered.

“This late at night?” she asked, a worried look on her face.

“Well I always kinda take ubers this late…” you mumbled.

“You know what? I have something tomorrow too, I can take you home. I’ve only had a glass and a half,” Ben suggested, holding up his half full glass as proof.

“Oh, you don’t have--” you started but were interrupted.

“Per-fect!” Lucy said with a smile and you resigned yourself to accepting the ride.

You and Ben gathered your things and then said your goodbyes, getting hugs and kisses from all, especially Lucy who was four glasses in and a little tipsy.

Then you and Ben walked out of the apartment, following the same path you had taken together only a couple hours ago. You chatted about this and that but you were more focused on how your hands would brush against each other every fifth step or so than the conversation.

That is until Ben said, “So you’ve never used my number.”

You weren’t expecting that so you coughed in surprise before answering, “Well, I texted you saying it was me so you had mine too.”

“Well… okay,” Ben said a little sheepishly.

“Okay,” you responded before pulling out your phone. You went to your Instagram dms and found a meme that you thought he would like and sent it to him. “There you go, I used it.”

Ben took out his phone when he got the notification and opened it, laughing when he saw what it was, “Oh my gosh, this is so cute. You know I have a dog.”

“You do?” you asked, getting excited.

“Yeah her name’s Frankie. Here,” he replied, going to his home screen where you could see a picture of just about the cutest beagle you’ve ever seen.

“Oh my goodness, she’s adorable. Ugh I love her,” you said, going a little goo-goo at the sight of the dog. It helped that owning a dog was always an item on your pro list for guys.

“She’s the best. Oh, here we are,” Ben said, gesturing to his car.

The two of you got in, but before he turned on the engine Ben said, “Here, watch this video of her.”

Ben leaned over the console to show you and you met him halfway, both of you turning your eyes down to the phone to watch Frankie running around what you would assume is Ben’s apartment, fresh from a bath. You and Ben laughed at her antics and when she jumped up on the couch and wiggled around on her back, Ben’s groan in the video and groan in real life synched up and you lost it.

Ben couldn’t help but laugh too, but he said, “Hey, that left a stain, that’s a suede couch.”

That just made you laugh harder and soon both you and Ben were leaning on each other for support as you tried to catch your breath. As your laughter finally died down, you looked up at Ben, whose face was only a few inches from yours and as a couple more giggles passed your lips, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at Ben’s. You looked back at his eyes and caught him doing the same, biting your lip in anticipation. Both of you leaned a little closer, a little closer, until you were so close you could feel Ben’s breath on your lips.

Then your phone’s ringtone went off, louder than reasonable and you both jumped in surprise. You picked it up again and saw that it was Lucy calling.

“Yes, Lucy?” you answered with a bit of a sigh, your rational mind returning and reminding you that you weren’t supposed to kiss Ben.

“I forgot to tell you to text me when you get home!” she practically yelled and you held the phone away from your ear. You could hear Rami shushing her on the other end.

“Okay, I will, don’t worry, Luce,” you reassured her before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up.

Ben had turned on the engine and was starting to pull out of the parking space.

“She just wanted me to let her know when I get home,” you explained.

“Yeah I heard,” Ben said with a laugh. “Just, uh, tell me where to go.”

“Oh yeah,” you replied, remembering that he was taking you to your house and not back to his.

💖💖💖

Permanent taglist: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands @supersonicfreddie

Series taglist: @killer-queen-87 @theprettyandthereckless @radiob-l-a-hblah @theonsasheart @hannafuckingsucks​

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this little series or my permanent one, just send me a message or ask!

[haruatori]

Common list of misconceptions

Had great fun learning about these, maybe now I will remember it better:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions

Fortune cookies, despite being associated with Chinese cuisine in the United States, were invented in Japan and introduced to the US by the Japanese.[11] The cookies are extremely rare in China, where they are seen as symbols of American cuisine.[12]

The United States does not require police officers to identify themselves as police in the case of a sting or other undercover work, and police officers may lie when engaged in such work.[25] Claiming entrapment as a defense instead focuses on whether the defendant was induced by undue pressure (such as threats) or deception from law enforcement to commit crimes they would not have otherwise committed.[26]

Parody singer "Weird Al" Yankovic did not write or perform most of the songs and comedy sketches attributed to him or "Weird Al Yankovich" on the Internet.[48]

The forbidden fruit mentioned in the Book of Genesis is never identified as an apple,[51] a misconception widely depicted in Western art.The original Hebrew texts mention only tree and fruit. Early Latin translations use the word mali, which can mean either "evil" or "apple" depending on if the A is short or long respectively, although the difference in vowel length had already vanished from speech in Latin at the time. In early Germanic languages the word "apple" and its cognates usually simply meant "fruit". German and French artists commonly depict the fruit as an apple from the 12th century onwards, and John Milton's Areopagitica from 1644 explicitly mentions the fruit as an apple.[52] Jewish scholars have suggested that the fruit could have been a grape, a fig, an apricot, or an etrog.[53]

The Bible does not say that exactly three magi came to visit the baby Jesus, nor that they were kings, or rode on camels, or that their names were Casper, Melchior, and Balthazar, nor what color their skin was. Three magi are inferred because three gifts are described, but we only know that they were plural (at least 2); there could have been many more and probably an entourage accompanied them on their journey. The artistic depictions of the nativity have almost always depicted three magi since the 3rd century.[57] The Bible only specifies an upper limit of 2 years for the interval between the birth and the visit (Matthew 2:16), and artistic depictions and the closeness of the traditional dates of December 25 and January 6 encourage the popular assumption that the visit took place in the same season as the birth, but later traditions varied, with the visit taken as occurring up to two years later. The association of magi with kings comes from efforts to tie the visit to prophecies in the Book of Isaiah.[58]

No Biblical or historical evidence supports Mary Magdalene having been a prostitute.[59]

The idea that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute before she met Jesus is not found in the Bible or in any of the other earliest Christian writings. The misconception likely arose due to a conflation between Mary Magdalene, Mary of Bethany (who anoints Jesus's feet in John 11:1–12), and the unnamed "sinful woman" who anoints Jesus's feet in Luke 7:36–50.[59]

The Quran does not promise martyrs 72 virgins in heaven. It does mention companions, houri, to all people—martyr or not—in heaven, but no number is specified. The source for the 72 virgins is a hadith in Sunan al-Tirmidhi by Imam Tirmidhi.[74][75] Hadiths are sayings and acts of the prophet Muhammad as reported by others, and as such they are not part of the Quran itself. Muslims are not meant to necessarily believe all hadiths, and that applies particularly to those hadiths that are weakly sourced, such as this one.[76] Furthermore, the correct translation of this particular hadith is a matter of debate.[74] In the same collection of Sunni hadiths, however, the following is judged strong (hasan sahih): "There are six things with Allah for the martyr. He is forgiven with the first flow of blood (he suffers), he is shown his place in Paradise, he is protected from punishment in the grave, secured from the greatest terror, the crown of dignity is placed upon his head—and its gems are better than the world and what is in it—he is married to seventy two wives among wide-eyed houris (Al-Huril-'Ayn) of Paradise, and he may intercede for seventy of his close relatives."[77]

Ancient Greek and Roman sculptures were originally painted bright colors; they only appear white today because the original pigments have deteriorated. Some well-preserved statues still bear traces of their original coloration.[127][128]

The accused at the Salem witch trials in North America were not burned at the stake; about 15 died in prison, 19 were hanged and one was pressed to death.[172]

Marie Antoinette did not say "let them eat cake" when she heard that the French peasantry were starving due to a shortage of bread. The phrase was first published in Rousseau's Confessions when Marie was only nine years old and most scholars believe that Rousseau coined it himself, or that it was said by Maria Theresa, the wife of Louis XIV. Even Rousseau (or Maria Theresa) did not use the exact words but actually Qu'ils mangent de la brioche, meaning "Let them eat brioche" (a rich type of bread). Marie Antoinette was a target of attacks from radical jacobins; therefore, political activists attributed the phrase "let them eat cake" to her, to promulgate an image of her as disconnected from her subjects.[173]

Napoleon Bonaparte was not short. He was actually slightly taller than the average Frenchman of his time.[180] After his death in 1821, the French emperor's height was recorded as 5 feet 2 inches in French feet, which in English measurements is 5 feet 7 inches (1.70 m).[181] He was actually nicknamed le Petit Caporal (The Little Corporal) as a term of endearment.[182] Napoleon was often accompanied by his imperial guard, who were selected for their height[183]—this may have contributed to a perception that he was comparatively short.

There was no widespread outbreak of panic across the United States in response to Orson Welles's 1938 radio adaptation of H.G. Wells's The War of the Worlds. Only a very small share of the radio audience was even listening to it, and isolated reports of scattered incidents and increased call volume to emergency services were played up the next day by newspapers, eager to discredit radio as a competitor for advertising. Both Welles and CBS, which had initially reacted apologetically, later came to realize that the myth benefited them and actively embraced it in later years.[200]

Rosa Parks was not sitting in the front ("white") section of the bus during the event that made her famous and incited the Montgomery bus boycott. Rather, she was sitting in the front of the back ("colored") section of the bus, where African Americans were expected to sit, but refused to give up her seat to a white man who asked for it (which was also the expected action of African Americans at the time).

Although popularly known as the "red telephone", the Moscow–Washington hotline was never a telephone line, nor were red phones used. The first implementation of the hotline used teletype equipment, which was replaced by facsimile (fax) machines in 1988. Since 2008, the hotline has been a secure computer link over which the two countries exchange emails.[220] Moreover, the hotline links the Kremlin to the Pentagon, not the White House.[221]

Bulls are not enraged by the color red, used in capes by professional matadors. Cattle are dichromats, so red does not stand out as a bright color. It is not the color of the cape, but the perceived threat by the matador that incites it to charge.[238]

Dogs do not sweat by salivating[239] Dogs actually do have sweat glands and not only on their tongues; they sweat mainly through their footpads. However, dogs do primarily regulate their body temperature through panting.[240] (See also: Dog anatomy).

Bats are not blind. While about 70 percent of bat species, mainly in the microbat family, use echolocation to navigate, all bat species have eyes and are capable of sight. In addition, almost all bats in the megabat or fruit bat family cannot echolocate and have excellent night vision.[244]

The notion that goldfish have a memory span of just a few seconds is false.[250][251] It is much longer, counted in months.

There is no such thing as an "alpha" in a wolf pack. An early study that coined the term "alpha wolf" had only observed unrelated adult wolves living in captivity. In the wild, wolf packs operate more like human families: there is no defined sense of rank, parents are in charge until the young grow up and start their own families, younger wolves do not overthrow an "alpha" to become the new leader, and social dominance fights are situational.[254][255]

Mice do not have a special appetite for cheese, and will eat it only for lack of better options. Mice actually favor sweet, sugary foods. It is unclear where the myth came from.[260]

Sunflowers do not always point to the sun. Flowering sunflowers face a fixed direction (often east) all day long, but not necessarily the sun.[287] However, in an earlier developmental stage, before the appearance of flower heads, the immature buds do track the sun (a phenomenon called phototropism) and the fixed alignment of the mature flowers toward a certain direction is often the result.[288]

Petroleum does not originate from dinosaurs but rather bacteria and algae.[308]

No human genome (nor any mammalian genome for that matter) has ever been completely sequenced. As of 2017, by some estimates, between 4% to 9% of the human genome had not been sequenced.[311]

Trickle-down theory of economics does not work.[325]

Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking.[332]

Stretching before or after exercise does not reduce muscle soreness.[338]

Exercise-induced muscle soreness is not caused by lactic acid buildup.[339] Muscular lactic acid levels during and after exercise do not correlate with soreness;[340] exercise-induced muscle soreness is thought to be due to microtrauma from an unaccustomed or strenuous exercise, against which the body adapts with repeated bouts of the same exercise.[341]

Shaving does not cause terminal hair to grow back thicker (more dense) or darker. This belief is due to hair that has never been cut having a tapered end, whereas, after cutting, the edge is blunt and therefore thicker than the tapered ends; the sharper, unworn edges make the cut hair appear thicker and feel coarser. That short hairs are less flexible than longer hairs also contributes to this effect.[355]

A person's hair and fingernails do not continue to grow after death. Rather, the skin dries and shrinks away from the bases of hairs and nails, giving the appearance of growth.[356]

Acne is mostly caused by genetics, rather than lack of hygiene, eating fatty food, or other personal habits.[360]

The order in which different types of alcoholic beverages are consumed ("Grape or grain but never the twain" and "Beer before liquor never sicker; liquor before beer in the clear") does not affect intoxication or create adverse side effects.[381]

Hand size does not predict human penis size,[385] but finger length ratio may.[386]

There is no physiological basis for the belief that having sex in the days leading up to a sporting event or contest is detrimental to performance.[390] In fact it has been suggested that sex prior to sports activity can elevate male testosterone level, which could potentially enhance performance.[391]

Glass does not flow at room temperature as a high-viscosity liquid.[442] Although glass shares some molecular properties found in liquids, glass at room temperature is an amorphous solid that only begins to flow above the glass transition temperature,[443] though the exact nature of the glass transition is not considered settled among scientists.[444] Panes of stained glass windows are often thicker at the bottom than at the top, and this has been cited as an example of the slow flow of glass over centuries. However, this unevenness is due to the window manufacturing processes used at the time.[443][444] No such distortion is observed in other glass objects, such as sculptures or optical instruments, that are of similar or even greater age.[443][444][445]

Most diamonds are not formed from highly compressed coal. More than 99 percent of diamonds ever mined have formed in the conditions of extreme heat and pressure about 140 kilometers (87 mi) below the earth's surface. Coal is formed from prehistoric plants buried much closer to the surface, and is unlikely to migrate below 3.2 kilometers (2.0 mi) through common geological processes. Most diamonds that have been dated are older than the first land plants, and are therefore older than coal. It is possible that diamonds can form from coal in subduction zones and in meteoroid impacts, but diamonds formed in this way are rare and the carbon source is more likely carbonate rocks and organic carbon in sediments, rather than coal.[446]

Although the Greek philosopher Pythagoras is most famous today for his alleged mathematical discoveries,[452][453] classical historians dispute whether he himself ever actually made any significant contributions to the field.[450][451] He cannot have been the first to discover his famous theorem, because it was known and used by the Babylonians and Indians centuries before Pythagoras,[454][455][456][457] but it is possible that he may have been the first one to introduce it to the Greeks.[458][456]

There is no scientific evidence for the existence of "photographic" memory in adults (the ability to remember images with so high a precision as to mimic a camera),[478] but some young children have eidetic memory.[479] Many people have claimed to have a photographic memory, but those people have been shown to have good memories as a result of mnemonic devices rather than a natural capacity for detailed memory encoding.[480] There are rare cases of individuals with exceptional memory, but none of them has a memory that mimics that of a camera.

[davidmann95]

Thoughts on the leaked Superman TV suit redesign?

Assuming this is real - and I’m inclined to say so, that’s a real assistant costume designer on Arrow and a concept artist credited, both people who would be assigned to do this sort of thing but finding their names would take more work than I imagine the typical dude with photoshop would put in for this - while probably not final I actually like it a lot! It’s not the truly correct answer of putting the classic s-shield on Routh’s Crisis suit, but next to that it addresses all my issues with what Hoechlin’s had so far: the belt’s better (and visibly functions as a belt) and does the missing trunks’ job of breaking up the colors, the boots are streamlined, the texture of the cape is better, and the cape clips are placed so that the cape drapes over him as it should while still providing the apparent comfort of that compared to tucking it in. Not wild about the red cuffs or the two-tone on the bodysuit, and if the lighting isn’t deceptive it needs to be more colorful, but as if nothing else a representation of where the creators’ heads are at I find it very encouraging, and the suits have always been tweaked over subsequent seasons on the CW shows anyway.

The truly big thing however is that this is hot on the heels of Superman & Lois being officially picked up as a series rather than waiting for the pilot to be judged - obvious as it seemed, it would have also seemed obvious that they’d pull the trigger on this 3 years ago, and also there was always the worry that the movie division would either pull themselves together or simply chicken out and pull the plug on this at the last minute. But now it’s official, and having been 3 years since I first gave thought to how a Hoechlin Superman series could work (Tulloch and Cryer weren’t even in the mix yet), many of my assumptions as to what would be in play have been dashed, and it’s ended up with distinguishing features going in I never would have guessed. So as is, my primary hopes for the series:

* For the first couple years, keep things relatively simple and streamlined in terms of season arcs. Todd Helbing’s in charge, and from what I’ve seen of his past work as showrunner of Seasons 4 and 5 of The Flash (where I jumped on, which is a shame since it sure seems like there was a drop in quality compared to what I’d been seeing before) he had a really hard time juggling the substantial cast of characters it had built up by that point alongside a season-spanning threat…but he also wrote or cowrote excellent individual episodes, including easily the best episode of the entire CWverse to my knowledge “Enter Flashtime”, and it’s arguable those seasons were generally casualties of having used up the obvious threats and buying time until Crisis. Going into this I don’t see much need for a sprawling supporting cast from jump, so if the overarching villain can be managed appropriately I don’t see him being a poor choice for shepherding the first season or two.

* Keep the soap operatics largely confined to the sons. Whether it’s Chris or Conner or Damian joining Jon, I’d imagine half the point of bringing in a pair of teenagers to a show with a pair of leads who have moved past the figuring-out-life-and-love travails of your average CW protagonist is so that *they* can do that stuff instead. Let Lois and Clark focus on reporting and superheroics and as advertised “the stress, pressures and complexities that come with being working parents in today’s society”, along with assorted character journeys and challenges tailored to them that fall outside the typical arc of CW series leads. Meanwhile, the teens can contend with burgeoning love lives and deciding who they want to be alongside figuring out how to become heroes.

* Maybe break it up across multiple timelines? I know they did a lot of this sort of thing with Arrow with the flashbacks and flash-forwards as series-spanning anchors; maybe there’d be something to be mined here with present-day sections, past sections of Superman’s earlier years in Metropolis before he and Lois got together or Lex turned on him, and future events. Heck, the latter could get the super sons as teens without any need to age them up in the present, and permit easy crossovers with Legends or the upcoming apparently future-set Green Arrow and the Canaries.

* Lex obviously has to be in the mix, but shouldn’t be the sole villain of the first season when he was already the bad guy for the last season of Supergirl. Given his amazing new status quo of being Silver/Bronze/Modern-Age Lex masquerading as Byrne’s Luthor, taking him down would be the obvious centerpiece of the Daily Planet chunk of the series, especially for Lois since that’s presumably going to be her primary domain. Once he’s exposed though totally go all-out supervillain with him.

* Can’t believe I’m saying this, especially on the heels of that last note, but maybe don’t get too political. I know Supergirl has made efforts, but everything I’ve heard about the execution sounds incredibly mixed, between a black Machester Black being told not to kill Nazi stand-ins, and the first preview for the current season basically opening with Supergirl narrating “We deposed our corrupt Trump analogue, so I thought people would be committed to fighting for social justice…but they’re obsessed with their Facebook gizmos instead!”, a truly bizarre instance of trying to appease all sides. Totally have instances of Superman taking some lefty or at least liberal stances as is tradition, but it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to try and build a season around a given message given both the track record and that all the extra eyes on this will mean it being subject to even more extensive pressures.

* Speaking of the number of eyes on it, god I hope this is allowed to get weird even given it’s probably going to be the flagship for the network and therefore will definitely have higher-ups wanting to make sure it isn’t alienatingly off-beat. They put Beebo and Sargon the Sorcerer in the Crisis finale for Christ’s sake! The least they could do is let Hoechlin fight Krull or go on an adventure with Calvin Ellis, and let Tulloch get witch powers and tame Titano; the last live-action Superman show in Lois & Clark was made in a pre-Morrison world and aired on ABC, and it still had a time-travelling H.G. Wells as a recurring character and an episode where he gets shrunk down to a teeny-tiny little Superman (which also just happened with this guy!). The clear All-Star influence so far is a good sign along with how odd The Flash has frequently gotten as the current center to their shared universe - including under Helbing - but this is still probably my primary concern. Give us at least a few truly high concepts per season even if I suspect the goofiness will be toned down relative to its older siblings.

* I’m not that concerned with the villains: he’s got a few established already between Lex, Metallo, Mongul, Reactron, Zod (maybe the inexplicable decision to have had Superman kill him off-screen can be undone by Crisis), Maxima, and Doomsday, it’s implied by Elseworlds he got his own Bizarro, Brainiac’s easy to introduce, and the villains introduced as specifically Supergirl’s enemies such as Parasite, Silver Banshee, and Mxyzptlk could easily roll into Metropolis. And there’s plenty of other possibilities with the likes of Solaris, Prankster, Subjekt-17, Terra Man, Magog, Ultraman, Riot, or Atomic Skull who either have tons of potential to unearth, or don’t but as a simple visual or gimmick could easily carry an episode or two. I’d still prefer the more exploration/mystery-driven angle suggested in my original pitch up above, but I recognize that’s not too likely.

* Finally, if he’s truly committed to being done after getting the little epilogue and sendoff he deserved he’s got all the right in the world, but if Routh would have any interest absolutely make him the shows’ equivalent to John Shipp on Flash as Uncle Kal from Earth 96, popping by every now and then to be the fun uncle to the boys and give Clark life advice.

[owletstarlet]

natsuyuu + singing/music

[From this themed ask meme.]

Oh, yes, good….

I’m gonna answer about musical talent instead of musical tastes (because regarding musical tastes of rural Japanese teenagers circa 2005, I dunno a fuckin’ thing, my guy).  

So Natori is probably a decent singer, or has at least practiced enough to be passable at it, because it’s a marketable skill to have as an entertainer. He doesn’t do it super often, and he doesn’t particularly like or dislike it, any more than acting, just something he views as another facet of his job, releasing a few formulaic tracks here and there to go with whatever drama he just starred in… And the first time Natsume heard one of the songs he was just in a music store with his friends minding his own business and then it starts playing over the speakers and he’s torn between incredulous laughter, throwing up in his mouth a little, and being very slightly impressed. When Matoba first learns about this he does his very best to make fun of Natori for it, but that pretty much dissolves into bickering and sniping—(“You’re singing pop music now? I see there’s really no depth the last pandering face of the Natori clan won’t sink to. If you’re that desperate just get over yourself ask for help already.” “Well why are you following my career closely enough to know I’m singing pop music?” “Even I go to the mall sometimes. It really is tiresome to see your gigantic overly retouched face plastered all over every available inch of advertising space and now I have to hear you everywhere too…” etc., etc…)

Moving right along to Tanuma. I have talked about this somewhat in meta asks before but whatever– In canon (ch 84) we get the one singular scene where he’s shown sitting at a piano, talking with Natsume in what looks to be an empty music room at the school. I guess the implication is that he’s practicing for a class or club while Natsume hangs out and listens, which are both normal and plausible assumptions. But unless canon directly states otherwise I’d headcanon it as him using the pianos for self-practice (and the chance to spend time with Natsume) once nobody else is using the music room. I think unless it’s mandatory he wouldn’t opt to take a music class because even if he loves piano he would absolutely not love having to play in front of groups of people. As to clubs—lest I go off into a diatribe about my strongly mixed feelings about Japanese school clubs as an institution and their impact on the emotional, psychological and physical health of students that I’ve seen firsthand (including music clubs with some really petty nasty politics and ridiculous practice schedules in addition to the stress of performing), I’ll just say a music club would be a Bad Time for Tanuma and not something he’d likely choose for himself. Side note, he also seems to have more free time in canon than a club schedule would likely allow. It makes more sense to me that it’s something he does for himself as a relaxing hobby and has done on and off since he was little.

I’d say due to costs and him frequently ill and moving towns a lot, he probably didn’t take consistent lessons, if anything it was probably some inexpensive community center lessons he’d attend as he was able throughout elementary and junior high. I think, though, that this is a great hobby for him to have had growing up, because if you’re too sick to leave your house and lonely and bored, a keyboard you can set up on your bed (with headphones so nobody else can hear if you mess up) and a stack of old piano lesson books can be a good remedy and comfort. Tanuma never thinks to mention to Natsume that he can play, until one day he comes by unexpectedly to check on Tanuma when Tanuma had been home sick from school, and Tanuma’s in the middle of practicing in his room (sans headphones) and not realizing for a good several seconds that Natsume’s in his doorway. Tanuma’s first anxiety-brain instinct is of course oh god put it away now before you embarrass yourself or bore him but he also realizes that that would be kind of a dick move when Natsume’s come out of his way to check on him. And provided Tanuma’s not going to keel over in the middle of it, Natsume Would In Fact Very Much Like To Listen, so that’s what happens, for the fifteen or so minutes before Tanuma’s dad makes him stop to to get some rest. And objectively it does Not sound all that great, even though he intentionally chose simpler stuff he has memorized from years of repetition so he won’t fuck it up, because he’s both sick and hyper-aware of his audience and thus keeps missing notes. But Natsume’s totally enthralled because I’m sure that rarely if ever has he gotten to listen to anyone play an instrument, least of all for his ears only.

From there it ends up becoming a weekly-ish occurrence, and Tanuma’s still a little baffled that it genuinely seems to make Natsume and relaxed to hear him rather than bored and too polite to say so. In terms of musical genre, I don’t think he’d particularly favor any one over another, and that it’d come down to whatever he can successfully teach himself, and whatever (most often secondhand) sheet music he gets his hands on. His dad will often give him music books as gifts, especially if he’s been on a trip, and will look for music shops and secondhand shops with sheet music when he travels. And a big (and very wholesome) motivator for Tanuma to keep practicing, I think, is to be able to show his dad the pieces he’s learned from the books his dad found for him. And his motivation, frequency of practice, and personal enjoyment of it all get a big ol’ boost once Natsume starts listening too. He’d want to start picking new things he’d think Natsume would enjoy hearing, but it’s difficult to gauge exactly what to choose when Natsume seems to genuinely enjoy every piece he hears. (Of course, Tanuma’s conclusion would be “he really likes to hear the piano” and he would not quite make the connection of “he really likes to hear me play the piano” until much later on, even if Natsume were to tell him outright.) Still, Tanuma’s perceptive enough to have worked out which specific pieces Natsume likes best, and will make sure to play those first if Natsume has clearly had a rough day or week. (Side note, one of those pieces is the Tottoro March, because early on after moving to Hitoyoshi he mentioned he’d never seen the movie before…to which Nishimura was like *dramatic gasp* “You’re coming over RIGHT NOW and we’re fixing that.” So it’s a very warm association for Natsume when he hears the song. And Tanuma, knowing this, does try to work some more Ghibli into his repertoire because whether Natsume’s seen the movies or not—and probably not in most cases—it’s got a similar gentle tone and feel to it, and very easy to find.)

Two additional sidenotes here: one, Touko has Absolutely knitted Tanuma a scarf with a piano key design…he did not quite know how to react upon receiving it, and worried later that he made a seemingly ungrateful ass of himself for getting all tongue-tied over it but he takes very good care of it and wears it all the time. Two, an effect of having a bunch of random mostly secondhand sheet music is that a lot of the pieces are scores from random movie/anime/game franchises that Tanuma knows literally nothing about, and of course if he got it from his dad/picked it up himself because it looked like it would sound interesting he’ll try to learn it regardless. And I’m Positive that at least once Nishimura hung out with him while he was practicing and almost had a stroke when he heard Tanuma start playing a piece like this from [insert whatever series/franchise Nishimura happened to be obsessed with at the time here], only to be like “what do you MEAN you’ve never seen it and also you sound GODDAMN AMAZING but I also feel slightly betrayed okay.”

Thanks for the ask, sorry for the wait, this was a super fun question!

[vramcpu]

Invisible Impact

How perception is affected by the interconnectedness of aesthetics, mediums, and ideologies.

Written by Ramirez De Leon

“In an electric information environment, minority groups can no longer be contained — ignored. Too many people know too much about each other. Our new environment compels commitment and participation. We have become irrevocably involved with, and responsible for, each other.”

— Marshall McLuhan

Note: This work is not a critique or analysis of politics. It is merely a look at different philosophical and artistic perspectives as they influence the perception of the self within culture. First, we take a look at the impact of mediums, next ideology and commodities, and finally habitus.

I.) MEDIUMS

“What you print is nothing compared to the effect of the printed word. The printed words sets up a paradigm, a structure of awareness which affects everybody in very, very drastic ways, and it doesn’t very much matter what you print as long as you go on in that form of activity.”

- MM

As an artist, as someone who walks in the unknown uncertainty of creativity, I understand that the work we do as artists has an impact beyond immediate description.

A work’s “non-descriptiveness” allows it to be felt intensely regardless of language, culture, or identification. It is an affect that is grossly underrated and under-discussed. This subject matter is rarely discussed or expressed because people are trained to think in a gross materialistic way at a very young age. Materialistic indoctrination forces one to see artwork (or creative projects) as merely products. (or as means to an end).

“Creativity is uncertain. To be creative you must get into the indeterminacy of your own structure, your own knowledge, your own future , one of the large control systems that you have in your head and in your body says… that for survival of the individual and survival of the race, these are the railroad tracks you have to travel. That may or may not be true. And we know that it’s true within certain limits, but these limits probably can be enlarged. We also know that in the software of your own brain, the province of your own mind, this is not really that necessary. We have sufficient computing capacity within our own structures, our own brains, so that we can turn over to a very small part of that computing capacity for the necessary programs for survival…you can have alternative futures, you can have alternative programming you don’t have to keep going round and round survival tape loop…”

- John C. Lilly

Oppression is not merely in the physical, economic, or material sense. Nor is it merely large entity versus the small entity. Oppression is often an ideologically materialistic , passive means of asserting dominance over the essence of creativity, true expression and new ideas. Oppression in its most basic form can be a concocted collection of institutionalized assumptions that repress possibilities of creative thinking.

Furthermore, we cannot underestimate the power of mediums themselves. To ignore the power of the medium or to maintain our ignorance to the medium is to refuse excellence in our art, thinking, and profession. This lack of awareness of the medium may be a direct hindrance to happiness and enjoyment in life.

For those not in a constant state of fight for survival, what must be obtained is the consciousness of the evolving medium that is the communication of our digital selves (avatars).

And so the title [The Medium is the Massage] is intended to draw attention to the fact that a medium is not something neutral — it does something to people. It takes hold of them. It rubs them off, it massages them and bumps them around, chiropractically, as it were…

— MM

Mediums: the intervening substance through which impressions are conveyed to the senses (or that force that acts on objects at a distance.) are indeed very powerful. Ultimately, our experience in the material sense is exactly that, a stimulating encounter with that information derived from the senses (engagement with the unseen and seen, where material objects have the leading role). This means that the objects we encounter in themselves are created works, and therefore can have just as much impact (or more) than those objects that we call and designate as “art”(those objects which we intend to be treated, viewed, and considered to be “works of art”).

We are not at odds with ideas solely, or primarily (as many might suggest). We are at odds with objects and their suggested implications. We are at odds with the roles that we have assumed and the mediums which carry the polarizing and sometimes offensive ideas.

The medium is allowed to carry a concept or an idea and present it to the eye or ear, and in many cases, when the viewer gives those ideas credence, the medium , as well as it’s objective is able to stealthy infiltrate the attitudes, moods and modes of the now subdued perceiver.

“It is a matter of the greatest urgency that our educational institutions realize that we now have civil war among these environments created by media other than the printed word.”

— MM

II.) IDEOLOGY and COMMODITIES

“Ideology is not simply imposed on ourselves. Ideology is our spontaneous relation to our social world, how we perceive each meaning and so on and so on. We, in a way, enjoy our ideology. To step out of ideology, it hurts. It’s a painful experience. You must force yourself to do it.”

- Slavoj Zizek , [Perverts Guide to Ideology, 2012]

If objects as mediums have a profound and sometimes subliminal impact on our perception, then we must also look at commodities of industry. Commodities help establish class and class systems.

Certain objects are often appreciated by those families of certain classes that train their young to appreciate those very objects as well as their cultural significance. These activities and objects, of course, are often guarded by characteristics of economic inaccessibility.

The nature of the fine arts, more specifically oil painting, collectively, helped reinforced a sense ownership, commodity fetishism, and high classism.

“From 1500 to 1900 the visual arts of Europe were dominated by the oil painting, the easel picture, this kind of painting had never been used anywhere else in the world before. The tradition of oil painting was made up of hundreds of thousands of unremarkable works hung all over the walls of galleries and private houses rather in the same way as the reserve collection is still hung in the National Gallery …European oil painting unlike the art of other civilizations and periods placed a unique emphasis on the tangibility. The texture, the weight. the graspability of what was depicted. What was real as what you could put your hands on…. the beginning of the tradition of oil painting, the emphasis on the real being solid was part of a scientific attitude but the emphasis on the real being solid became equally closely connected with a sense of ownership.”

— John Berger, Ways of Seeing

Imagine two individuals from very different classes. One is highly rich and the other very poor. It is easy to imagine that in some oil paintings of the 1600s, those wealthier individuals will likely have a different relationship and attitude towards those paintings (especially if they see themselves reflected in those very works).

Many argue for equal representation of minority groups in mass and popular media. If one sees themselves in the artwork around them, then their perception of the world will change.

It is my argument that not only “fine art” or oil paintings in todays era are a reflection and establishment of classes and class structures, but rather, almost any commodity, product, or medium can have a very similar affect. All of these subjects, and how we interact with them, are reflections of class structures and belief systems.

Objects, in a way, force individuals to consider their options and reality in a very specific and sometimes narrow way. It can greatly limit what one perceives to be possible for them within a society. These assumptions further perpetuated by objects and mediums can systematically eliminate the thought of new and positive possibilities that otherwise gain access to the mental faculties of the higher classes.

This can be simply understood as the impact of design on the psyche. Those who appreciate and know that design can affect our reality and our relationship with it know how important aesthetic and utility can be.

The late John Berger, art critic well known for his work entitled “Ways Of Seeing” explains that previously oil painting would show a class of individuals as they were, with their materials and land and lifestyle. These oil paintings reaffirmed their positions in their reality. And on the contrary, our modern era of publicity and advertisement displays a fantasy of who we are not, but wish to one day be. For the modern era, it is not simply about the product but the fantasy and attitude that the product will grant us.

“It was already Marx who long ago emphasized that a commodity is never just a simple object that we buy and consume. A commodity is an object full of theological, even metaphysical, niceties. Its presence always reflects an invisible transcendence. And the classical publicity for Coke quite openly refers to this absent, invisible, quality. Coke is the “real thing”.

— Zizek

A commodity appears at first sight an extremely obvious, trivial thing. But its analysis brings out that it is a very strange thing, abounding in metaphysical subtleties and theological niceties….. as soon as it emerges as a commodity, it changes into a thing which transcends sensuousness.

— Karl Marx, Capital (1867)

III. HABITUS

In sociology, Habitus comprises socially ingrained habits, skills and dispositions. It is the way that individuals perceive the social world around them and react to it. These dispositions are usually shared by people with similar backgrounds (such as social class, religion, nationality, ethnicity, education and profession).

“Habitus also extends to our “taste” for cultural objects such as art, food, and clothing.

In one of his major works, Distinction, [Pierre] Bourdieu links French citizens’ tastes in art to their social class positions, forcefully arguing that aesthetic sensibilities are shaped by the culturally ingrained habitus.

Upper-class individuals, for example, have a taste for fine art because they have been exposed to and trained to appreciate it since a very early age, while working-class individuals have generally not had access to “high art” and thus haven’t cultivated the habitus appropriate to the fine art “game.”

The thing about the habitus, Bourdieu often noted, was that it was so ingrained that people often mistook the feel for the game as natural instead of culturally developed. This often leads to justifying social inequality, because it is (mistakenly) believed that some people are naturally disposed to the finer things in life while others are not.

— Social Theory Re-Wired

“The meaning of a painting no longer resides on it’s unique painted surface, which it is only possible to see in one place at one time. It’s meaning ,or a large part of it has become transmittable. It comes to you, this meaning, like the news of an event. It has become information of a sort.” — Justin Berger

In conclusion, I believe that once we acknowledge the affect commodities have on the world beyond their implied and immediately described purpose, if we acknowledge their assumed magical qualities, we will understand that mediums and commodities create a very particular context by which we view ourselves within the world.

These objects quite literally create the structural boundaries in which our imaginations dance. These objects influence the distance in which our imagination travels as well as the means of such travel. It is only until we discuss and acknowledge these invisible qualities that we may consider our own rational alternatives to these prescribed perspectives.

If we are to acknowledge at all the boundaries and limitations that are put on artists and subjects of class, if we have any desire to have a say in how our work as artists is perceived and activated, if we want to change any of these conditions in which we live, if we desire to acquire a taste beyond the commonly associated, false identities; we must begin to learn about these materials, their invisible qualities, and the descriptions that are indeed the basis of our culture.

Twitter — @VRAMCPU

[suechoiart]

SU19 Internship_ Week 4

Today I want to talk about client relations and office productivity. 

Firma started business in 2015 and it is a relatively young firm. It has been interesting to see where Scott has adopted practices from Olin (where he had worked for over a decade) and where he is trying to cultivate new standards and a “knowledgebase” for his own firm. I love the energy of the firm and their attention to office improvement- it really feels like they are in for Firma to be a good firm, and not just one that exists. 

I attempted very, very briefly to do freelancing as an artist and I like to entertain the idea of having my own practice in the distant future. My (marriage) partner has been running his own business for nearly five years. Entrepreneurship and small business are both dreams and reality to our lives. So, another benefit to working at Firma is: this is a chance to absorb a lot of small business skills. 

_ project management (Asana) 

Firma is a small office. There’s enough breathing room for two regular employees, one intern, and an extra desk for a second intern (or new employee?!). Anyways point is, we are always in earshot of each other when we’re in the office together. It is still very important to touch base and keep track of project/office tasks and progress! 

Firma uses a service called Asana to track to-do lists. I think I’ve heard Asana be advertised on a podcast, so it must be popular in the tech field (just a guess)... Few notable things are: each task has its own section to take notes and create subtasks; tasks can be assigned to specific people and put a deadline on it, so you can open your profile and see what tasks have bee assigned to you.

My task page under “intern tasks” - some are actually assigned to my profile, some are floating tasks that have been filed in this category. I don’t have access to any ‘pro’ features, so this could be substituted with any document sharing platform in my world... The important thing is probably to actually use it and update it regularly. 

This has been a helpful tool for us to get together at the beginning of each week and assess priorities. Yesterday (Monday/Week5) was the first time in my internship we looked through all active projects and checked through any outstanding tasks. (With summer vacation days, it’s been a quick 4 weeks!) During that process, Scott and Sarah added new tasks to projects, archived projects that are no longer active (e.g. the rest of the work was not part of the scope anymore.) It was good to listen to that conversation to get a sense of when projects finish, when limbos happen, etc...

_ scope 

Scott shared with me a copy of a new “Proposal for Landscape Architectural Services” that he had written for a new client. (The client has accepted the proposal and we have started working on this project!) 

The scope is essentially the contract of work between the LA and the client. Along with fees, this proposal lists a range of services that will be provided organized by phases (e.g. 1-Schematic Design, ...) over a schedule, a estimated time frame for services to be completed. In addition to what Firma will do, there is a section called “Assumptions/Exclusions” that list, well, exactly assumptions and exclusions stated by the designer for the client to review. 

For instance, if the scope outlines production of CAD drawings but not other renderings - any task for Firma to produce visual renderings for municipality reviews would be an additional service, because it was not included in the initial scope. 

This document also includes the fascinating world of fees! Firma typically charges in lump sum (e.g. $100,000 for all work rather than $200/hr), and Scott shared that price reflects his experience with similar types of work and how many hours he typically spent on similar jobs. He also keeps in mind market standards for landscape architect work. For instance, firms with more ‘boutique’ reputation (”market power”) could, in addition to assumed hours spent, charge a little more and still attract clients! 

So it is within this scope that Scott and Sarah create tasks on Asana; and based on those tasks we work and keep track of our time spent... 

_ time tracking (Harvest) 

I think this has been one of the best things I’m going to gain this summer- the very habit of time tracking. Firma uses a service called Harvest to keep track of time spent for different projects. I’ve had multiple conversations with different design students about how much work design students do, and how little there is to show for it.... If not good design, I have now developed the habit of showing how much time I’ve been doing stuff--! 

What I’ve done on June 14. This was a day with various tasks- some days I’ve spent more than 7 hours on one single project; and it has been cool to be able to see all of that! 

There isn’t too much to share from my window, but I can speak to the strength of Harvest over just pencil scribbles. Through this platform, you can create a list of sub-tasks per projects and even categorize them - e.g. into “billable” and “non-billable” hours. In a previous office I worked, we tracked by hand (or recited by memory?) how many hours were spent on a project, and it was to be tallied by the person creating the invoice... But this interface prompts you to log descriptions, categories for projects, etc.... And you can get a quick glance at what you’ve done in a week! 

This was the week I spent mostly researching and creating a presentation for outdoor furnishings-- more than half of the week was spent on it! 

Obviously I won’t have billable hours doing my school homework, but this in itself is a brilliant thought to just track what I am doing when. It would be good to find a free or personal version of this software to use on my own. 

Anyways, Scott uses this to tally up the hours spent on jobs- I think he uses his professional discretion before writing the invoice, but he has a solid body of documentation to back up ‘work done’ when he is talking to clients. I think that is so cool! 

_ reflection 

I ended up just geeking out over what we do in the office, but I really am impressed that Firma incorporates smart ‘apps’ that exist out in the wild. I guess I’ve just never worked in an environment like that and hadn’t thought of those workflows that make lives easier! Of course, this increases office productivity (less time spent mulling over “what did I do?” and more “do!”) and keeps everyone very accountable, which I believe leads to a happy work environment. 

I do want to share one story about scope -- Scott shared that clients typically reduce scope first by dropping site visits. He attributed this to how site visits occur typically in the later part of the project when clients realize how MUCH money they’re paying (which is what they agreed to pay!). So I’ve learned that there are scopes where the site visit is not included at all, and some that have a lot less site visits than designers would like. 

I got to follow along to one site visit, where it turned out the landscaping contractors had been operating on a old planting plan. When we got there, they had already ordered based on the old planting plan and started planting as such, and the plants that arrive were different too, because it’s based on wholesale availability... Thankfully the new planting plan was not a big departure from the old one, but Scott had to make a lot of new decisions on site that he wasn’t planning on. He mentioned that this particular project did not include as many site visits as he’d like, so the other times he’s visited, there was always something slightly different than what they had proposed... 

_ closing

This (last) week I’ve learned that landscape/landscaping is a particularly difficult career to ‘see through,’ since there are so many variables along the way. The nursery might not have the right plants, whoever is installing or maintaining it might introduce a new problem, or the weather just might say no.... There is always something to be cautious about, and it requires a whole lot of optimism and patience to tend to these issues! 

Oh, I didn’t get a chance to address client-designer relationships at all! 

Next week I want to talk about company structure, hierarchy, and employee management. !! Fun stuff 

[sightless-highland]

7 reasons to create Yuru-Chara for "Jameson's Door"

"Or a little bit of R-Man's revelations"

So, to begin with, the word "Yuru-Chara is not at all the name of Chara from some Alternative Undertale Universe" Yuru ", and even more so it is not a reference to one member of Jameson's Door community, which has such a nickname in Discord... "Yuru-Chara" is a kind of mascot, but only in the Japanese way. They necessarily look "very cute" (kawaii), which means that their design should be memorable due to its simplicity (so that such a character would be easy to draw even a baby). The goals of Yuru-Chara are obvious - to codify the advertised product, or, more simply, to be its symbol, which would immediately be associated with the product advertised (IMHO, Robbie the Rabbit from Silent Hill franchise is kind of "Yuru-Chara" but he's not enough "moe" on my opinion).

Well, let me explain the reasons why I believe that the Jameson's Door project needs "Yuru-Chara"

1) Community. Yes, you, my dear friends. So, When I invited people to join the project, the Silent Hill fans (who were a priority, because the project was designed specifically for them) reacted rather coldly and even negatively. Messages in which they simply scolded me and sending to hell, were far from rare. But Undertale's fans (to whom I sent out invitations "just for lulz" - forgive me, my friends, but I say how it really was) responded most willingly, and gladly accepted the invitations (for which I thank them & you personally by the bottom of my heart!) 2) Nikita "Bratish" Kuplinov. He is the lead artist of the project, it depends on him what "face" will have "Jameson's Door". But he is far from a professional (some will try to challenge this, but this is really so, he himself writes in his portfolio on DeviantArt that he is just hobbyist), so his drawings, which he does NOT from photographs, but draws in a vector, do not corny fit in a grave and gloomy style, which was set by Silent Hill. In addition, he is clearly addicted to anime - these are his main subscriptions (and followers) to DeviantArt & Pixiv, and indeed his drawing style is clearly strongly inspired by this genre. 3) My personal impressions after walkthrough Silent Hill 1. The fact is that when I played the above game, I was very embarrassed that there was practically no character on which, in general, the goal of the game was tied. In case someone hasn't guessed, I'm talking about Cheryl Mason. She runs away from her father (whom we play as) and our goal is to find her. And in our adventures we sometimes hear her voice, there is even a moment when she appears on the screen of monitors, but we never see Cheryl, let's say, a material form again (if I didn't understand something in the final cutscene that is shown in front of the boss, I humbly ask you to forgive me). And this upset me greatly, because firstly, I did not expect this from the game where we are looking for a daughter (yes, I did not understand anything in Silent Hill when I played the first game for the first time), and secondly, after the middle The game began to annoy me that old woman (I forgot her name), and when I finished going walkthrough the Silent Hill 1, I began to scold the developers ("sotto voce" of course), who, for only for them well-known reason, decided to give this character so much screen time. And that's why I made a vow to myself that if I were to be inspired by the characters, it would definitely not be this old hag, that stole potential time from poor Cheryl. 4) Mass-media ads. I made observations, during which I concluded that products (game, cartoon, something else), the symbol of which is a female character (and, for the most part, a underage), depicted in anime style, are much more popular than products whose mascot is something that does not fit this definition. Lord, look at the same Silent Hill. Not all, but still some games have something similar on the cover, which means that even the maestros could not resist against pop culture, since they did so. 5) My own lack of professionalism. At the very beginning of develop, I confess, I conceived the idea that the main character had a wife. Moreover, he had her in such a way that, on the one hand, Jameson seemed to remember her, but in fact, it is very likely that he just dreamed of her, and in fact, he has always been and remains a bachelor. Sounds a very idiotic and sick, right? I had to do this so that the plot did not look like a tracing paper from Silent Hill 2, where the main character also had a wife in the past (but there she really took place in the life of James, another character was a hallucination). Then I abandoned the idea with my wife, because I just decided to work on minor characters with whom Jameson would contact throughout the game (and this business went well for me - all that remained was to write intelligible dialogues, and then I'll can publish the full story for everyone to see). And until recently (read - before the idea of ​​registering an account on Reddit), I did not even think about returning to the topic of a female character in Jameson's Door, if... 6) And yes, Nikita Kuplinov AGAIN! Oh yeah, this person still haunts me. The fact is that, despite his seeming dependence on me, in fact, he created most of the art before I met him (he was going to do FreeDoom 3, can you imagine?), And in general, he is an extremely willful person. All you need to do is look at his art with his "avatar" (especially "Gamedeveloper's Life"), or the infamous comic strip, "Jameson's Nosebleed". Yes, to be honest, I was completely unaware of the existence of this art until he published it on his profile. It was his strange (and stupid as I thought before writing this post) fantasy, from start to finish. He even add logo of "SH-Team's Core" that I lead, in order, apparently, to make fun of me, to make everyone think that he did art in full agreement with me, although this was ABSOLUTELY wrong! I had to pretend that it was me who gave him the idea for this comic, so as not to look like a person who denies what he is involved in according to the information that takes place (yep, I'm talking about the "SH-Team" logo, which Bratish does not put even for those artworks that have been agreed with me from beginning to end). 7) The fact that I have already promised to give someone a gift is that I will add a love theme to Jameson's Door. When I wrote to this person about this, I was thinking about how to dig out the coffin in which the idea of ​​the protagonist's wife lies (this is a literary reception, do not take it literally), but all of the above factors persuaded me to do what I am going to do now.

Outdated message: So, you are probably already making assumptions about how and in what form this character will be embodied when its design is ready (since at the moment our potential "Yuru-Chara" does not have any appearance in principle ), and that it will not be just a symbol of game, but something more. Well, you are on the right track, dear friends ;)

[shirlleycoyle]

Inside ‘TALON,’ the Nationwide Network of AI-Enabled Surveillance Cameras

"Give your neighborhood peace of mind," an advertisement for Flock, a line of smart surveillance cameras, reads. A February promotional video claims that the company's "mission is to eliminate nonviolent crime across the country. We can only do that by working with every neighborhood and every police department throughout the country."

Quietly, this seems to be happening. Flock, whose cameras use automatic license plate reader technology, is well on its way to deploying a connected network of AI-powered cameras that detect the movements of cars across the United States.

The cameras, which are sold to law enforcement, homeowners associations, and businesses, can automatically record when a "non-resident" vehicle drives into a community, and alert police to cars on a hotlist. Communities have created "virtual gates" around their neighborhoods, with cameras capturing each vehicle driving in and out of the area. Through a program called TALON, this little-known company is allowing police officers to track cars—and by extension, specific people—outside of their own jurisdictions.

Hundreds of pages of internal police emails from nearly 20 police departments around the country obtained using public records requests by Motherboard show how Flock has slowly expanded its network, helped law enforcement agencies gain access to it, and has rolled out TALON with very little fanfare. TALON gives police access to a nationwide network of cameras that have been installed by law enforcement agencies around the country.

The TALON network offers up to 500 million scans of vehicles a month, according to one email obtained by Motherboard. Over 500 police departments in more than 1,000 cities have access to Flock cameras, according to marketing material. In the promotional video, the company claims to be able to detect people, cars, animals, and bicycles, and says it is "collecting evidence" that helps police solve 4 to 5 crimes per hour. The administrator of the neighborhood's camera network can make the data Flock captures available to, say, the police, the home owner association's board, or the individual members of an entire neighborhood.

Previous coverage has focused on how residents in individual neighborhoods have banded together to purchase Flock cameras for their own use. In 2019, the Los Angeles Times reported how members of a community in Sherman Oaks purchased the cameras to keep tabs on which cars are driving in and out of their own area.

Emails obtained by Motherboard show police-purchased Flock cameras may be installed outside a Burger King, a Lowes, or other businesses, and that controversial Fusion Centers, which hoover in data from various federal, state, and local sources to monitor large areas of the country at once, have also discussed gaining access to the footage.

The emails also show how Flock works closely with police to try and generate positive media coverage, improve their PR strategy, and ultimately "get your jurisdiction activated" and "bring more private cameras into the area." In some cases Flock has helped write press releases for agencies, the emails show.

"I think of it as the Ring doorbell of LPR," Sergeant JT Maultsby from the Raleigh Police Department wrote in one July 2019 email to colleagues.

Flock marketing material included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

Garrett Langley founded Flock in 2017 after being the victim of property crime in Atlanta, according to the company's website.

"I'm not someone with 25 years of public safety or law enforcement experience. I'm just a civilian that happens to be an electrical engineer, and when I think about the larger mission of Flock, it is to eliminate crime," Langley told Motherboard in a phone call.

Traditionally, license plate reader cameras have been the expensive property of law enforcement, but Flock's much cheaper and sometimes solar-powered, $2,500 (annually) hardware has tapped a whole new market of private residents who also want to track vehicles in their neighborhoods with the goal of preventing and helping investigate crime.

"If our average private customer has two cameras, it's probably because they're a one-way-in, one-way-out cul de sac," Langley said. "This technology has existed for a long time, it's just never been widely available. And now, whether you're a community of 20 homes, or a community of 2,000 homes, you can now afford, what I would argue, is the best in class for crime prevention."

But beyond the cute and suburb-friendly marketing, Flock has privacy experts increasingly concerned about a pervasive, expanding network of AI-powered cameras that can be leveraged by both private residents and law enforcement.

"ALPR is a mass surveillance technology. It does not discriminate between people who are involved in crimes and people who are innocent. It just collects data on everyone, with the assumption that maybe one day you might commit a crime," Dave Maass, director of investigations at activist group the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), told Motherboard in a phone call.

Do you have any more information about Flock? Do you use it, or do you know about a case of abuse? We'd love to hear from you. Using a non-work phone or computer, you can contact Joseph Cox securely on Signal on +44 20 8133 5190, Wickr on josephcox, OTR chat on jfcox@jabber.ccc.de, or email joseph.cox@vice.com.

Such a system, like others before it, brings up questions: Is it biased in how and where the hardware is placed? Is the technology disproportionately used against cars belonging to Black people and people of color? Is the data eventually abused?

"My concern, much as with with Ring is that these technologies enable a massively expanded surveillance network that in most cases has little to no oversight or accountability," Chris Gilliard, a research fellow with the Technology and Social Change Research Project at Harvard Kennedy School’s Shorenstein Center, told Motherboard in an online chat. "On top of that, I worry that it creates another vector for neighborhoods, and by extension law enforcement, to surveil Black folks who are just going about their business. We saw this recently when LAPD requested Ring footage of Black Lives Matter protestors."

"As the Supreme Court has repeatedly explained, police access to people’s electronically collected location history raises serious privacy concerns. License plate readers can create a precise record of where we go and when, and over time can reveal a wealth of sensitive information about our lives," Nate Wessler, deputy project director of the Speech, Privacy, and Technology Project at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), told Motherboard in an email.

"It is no comfort when these devices are being deployed in supposedly piecemeal fashion by scattered private users," he added. "By providing police with an internet platform to easily stitch together information from dozens or hundreds of license plate readers—without getting a search warrant from a judge—companies like Flock threaten to enable pervasive tracking of our activities and movements."

Flock's cameras come in two models: the Sparrow for collecting footage that can be reviewed later and potentially used as evidence, and the Falcon, which can also send automatic alerts to police if the camera detects a vehicle on a hotlist. The cameras can work at night, and label vehicles that don't belong to the local community as "non-resident." Video surveillance trade publication IPVM found in its tests that the Flock hardware generally worked well, but had some issues misidentifying some vehicles as buses or misreading the state on a license plate. A publicly available document published by the County of San Diego says that Flock cameras work across distances of 8-120ft. Maass pointed Motherboard to the document.

Flock marketing material included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

The company also offers a product that turns existing internet connected cameras into Flock-enabled cameras, and the hardware can be connected to the National Crime Information Center (NCIC), which automatically alerts law enforcement when the camera detects someone in that database. The NCIC includes information on stolen vehicles, immigration violators, missing persons, sex offenders, gang members, and more. Flock pushes an average of 120 hotlist notifications every hour, according to its marketing material.

With these lists, police have wide latitude to use Flock for whatever is legally permissible in their own jurisdiction. The County of San Diego document also says that police departments can upload their own custom hotlists in a spreadsheet.

When asked if Flock could include scanning for immigration-related license plates, Flock's Langley told Motherboard "Yes, if it was legal in a state, we would not be in a position to stop them. I don't think we would be in a position to encourage it either."

"We give our customers the tools to decide and let them go from there," he added.

Police can also use a "Google-like" search feature to filter footage for certain types and colors of cars, as well as whether they have a roof rack or spoiler. The cameras also record vehicles that do not have a license plate at all, and can perform "convoy analysis" to identify suspicious groups of vehicles, marketing material shows. This year, the company plans to introduce a reverse image search feature and an app police officers can use to take a photo of a car and then look up the previous movements of that vehicle, it adds.

Beyond automatic alerts, communities can, similar to Ring, elect to provide their footage to a law enforcement agency who may then use it to investigate a potential crime.

"Our customers tend to buy this product to better serve their local law enforcement agency," Langley added.

The potential use cases are not just for law enforcement, however. When asked whether Flock data has ever been requested as part of a civil divorce case, Langley said, "In my knowledge, which is obviously not perfect, there's been one example of what you're describing, but by the time all of the legal proceedings and everything went through, it was past 30 days, and the footage was gone." (Camera footage is stored on Flock's systems for 30 days, the emails say. But police can download the data and keep hold of it if it is used as evidence in a criminal case, Flock told Motherboard in an email.)

At least some police officers are facing an overload of footage and material as citizens continue to move into self-surveillance tools, like Ring and Flock.

"Another issue I see in the future is adjusting expectations of the residents we serve as we are seeing a trend where we are overloaded with video evidence and multiple databases (RING, Nextdoor, individual cell phones and businesses, etc.)," Sgt. Bruce Clark of the San Antonio Police Department wrote to colleagues in an August 2019 email.

Flock marketing material included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

Once a community installs a set of cameras, Flock may then reach out to police departments to let them know about the possibility of accessing the footage.

"Would love to talk to you about access to free cameras already installed in Tucson (MOU) [memorandum of understanding] as well as access to State/national cameras (all free…)," a Flock territory sales manager wrote to the Tucson Police Department in an October 2020 email. Police can also use a "Camera Map" feature to see where cameras are located and then request access themselves, another email adds. Flock told Motherboard this map includes cameras from neighborhoods or small businesses within a certain radius.

Fusion Centers have also expressed interest in accessing Flock data.

"FLOCK already has their license plate reader systems in several neighborhoods in North SA [San Antonio] now," James Glass, the deputy director of the Southwest Texas Fusion Center, wrote in an October 2020 email to colleagues. "In order to be granted free access to search the FLOCK system for license plate reader hits, we are asked to agree to sign this MOU." Glass did not respond to a request for comment.

Ray Schultz, the chief of the Memorial Villages Police Department in Texas, told Motherboard the department recovered 61 stolen vehicles last year, with a $1.8 million value of vehicles recovered since it started using the ALPR system.

"A couple more great successes this weekend," Schultz wrote in a June 2020 email to Flock employees. "2 recoveries, including one with stolen ID, a Stimulus Check and Fake ID's. A few pics are below." Schultz clarified to Motherboard that the Stimulus Check was stolen, too. Flock encourages police officers to share these sorts of success stories with the company.

Similar to how Ring works hand-in-hand with police departments to help craft press releases and promote sales of its cameras, Flock's relationship extends beyond just selling cameras or providing law enforcement access to any generated footage.

Details on a Flock deployment available on a publicly accessible URL included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

In one email, a Flock staffer offered members of the New Lenox Police Department their abilities for "drafting social media posts, pitching local reporters, writing press releases." The purpose, ultimately, is to "generate some goodwill and get your jurisdiction activated, bring more private cameras into the area, and highlight your successes!" the email from the Flock staffer continues. "Please use us as your resource!"

The result is a circle, with Flock working with police to generate positive coverage, to encourage more communities to purchase cameras, and to then provide access to that footage to the police, and around again.

"We have seen these stories be very successful in helping grow the awareness of the ALPRs, helping gain traction with HOAs [home owners associations], banks, and other businesses that could potentially buy more cameras for the Village," another Flock staffer wrote to the New Lenox Police Department. The email added that Flock has helped craft press releases for other Illinois agencies.

"I think they want to give it to us so they can say they are working with SAPD. Same method as Ring Doorbell," Aric C. Jimenez from the San Antonio Police Department wrote to colleagues in a July 2019 email.

Josh Thomas, VP of marketing for Flock, acknowledged in a phone call this sort of PR relationship between a private company and law enforcement agencies was "probably not standard."

"Historically law enforcement agencies just aren't that great at explaining to the public how they're using their technology," he said. "We need to let the public know what is happening, and we should work with them to make that possible."

Flock marketing material included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

Flock's business with law enforcement appears to be booming.

"What we're seeing is, very specifically, a market war going on between two particular companies," Maass from the EFF told Motherboard. One of those is Motorola Solutions, which owns Vigilant Solutions, an established ALPR vendor which sells cameras to law enforcement. The other is law enforcement contracting giant Axon, which has partnered with Flock, including integrating Flock with Axon's own in-car cameras.

"Axon Fleet 3 mobile ALPR will be integrated into the Flock Safety System allowing law enforcement to use Flock’s Vehicle Fingerprint Technology across both mobile and fixed ALPR reads. This will create an unmatched city-wide ALPR network designed to not only capture license plate numbers, but to capture objective vehicle evidence to help law enforcement solve more crime," Flock marketing material reads.

Historically, Vigilant had likely the largest market share of law enforcement-owned ALPR cameras around the country. But because Flock is so much cheaper it has been able to flip a growing number of police departments to its products, Maass said. Flock told Motherboard it has acquired some law enforcement customers who previously worked with other vendors, but also attributed that to what they said was a better product and their commitment to "ethical development."

"From what I understand there are people in the law enforcement community who have been turned off by Vigilant Solutions," Maass said. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has bought access to Vigilant's nationwide dataset; Customs and Border Protection likely did the same. Vigilant also offers facial recognition technology. Vigilant is still a formidable presence in the market, however, working with more than 1,600 agencies according to the public County of San Diego document.

"Flock, because it is affiliated with Axon now, is posturing itself as the more ethical solution than Vigilant," Maass said. (Axon also makes tasers and body cameras, and has faced criticism from civil rights groups.)

In the recent marketing video, a Flock employee says "privacy is very important to Flock, and we have done a lot to protect privacy of our customers." The employee appears to be talking about the privacy of the people who own or administrate cameras, not the privacy of the general public, who may drive past a network of Flock cameras. Residents of communities that have bought the cameras can ask to opt-out of having their vehicle movements recorded, Flock's website reads. For other people who may drive past cameras, there is no meaningful mechanism of consent as they may not be aware such cameras are recording their movements or which neighborhoods to contact one by one in an effort to opt-out.

Some of the emails obtained by Motherboard include invitations from Flock to police departments to join online "roundtables" with Flock's Langley and Axon CEO Rick Smith.

"Rick will discuss ethics-first design of ALPRs and how that aligns with police reform efforts and where the technology is going. Joining him will be Flock Safety CEO and Founder, Garret Langley. The Axon AI Ethics Board is an independent body that is rapidly gaining influence among both law enforcement and community/justice reform communities," one of the emails reads. Another shows an AXON employee talking to members of the San Antonio Police Department offering to answer questions about Flock.

Maass also pointed to Flock's 30-day retention period, but doesn't think that will necessarily result in fewer plates being scanned. Because of Flock's cheaper price, "police can install more of them," Maass said. "Combined with all of the home owners associations, there actually may be even worse problems."

Police have been purchasing and installing Flock's cameras around their neighborhoods, according to the emails.

"Myself and Sgt. Nuesse have been working with Walmart, Lowes, and Burger King to secure permission to either sink a pole or attach to their existing for 03, 04 and 17," Hilary Davis, the deputy chief of the New Lenox Police Department, wrote in an August 2020 email to Flock, referring to a specific series of camera installations.

Some of the emails included links to web pages used by Flock's customers and engineers to lay out where the cameras are to be set up. As well as the New Lenox cameras, another showed camera locations in Atherton, California.

Details on a Flock deployment available on a publicly accessible URL included in emails obtained by Motherboard. Image: Motherboard

The City Council approved the purchase of 16 cameras in May 2020, according to a local media report.

"In addition to the 16 ALPR cameras located along the Atherton borders, Staff believes that the presence of additional ALPR cameras in an [sic] around the backstreets will further increase the chances of identifying a vehicle used in the commission of a crime. Thus, staff seeks to form a Public/Private partnership opportunity with any resident interested in purchasing a Flock ALPR camera," a City Council report reads. "In short, a private resident would fund single or multiple Flock ALPR cameras and the Atherton Police Department would assume the administrative responsibilities associated with the camera’s operation. Staff has already been approached by residents in the Lindenwood and Lloyden Park neighborhoods who expressed interest in this proposed collaborative crime solving effort."

Drawing even clearer comparisons to Vigilant, Flock now offers law enforcement clients access to the nationwide network of police-purchased cameras, called the Total Analytics Law Officers Network, or TALON.

"TALON—a local and national plate search with up to 500M monthly plate reads," one October 2020 email from a Flock employee to the New Lenox Police Department reads. Flock publicly announced the TALON product in August 2020. Each agency which owns Flock cameras opts-in to sharing their footage, the blog post adds.

Although operating in a more concentrated area than Flock cameras spread across the United States, in Johannesburg, South Africa, a company called Vumacam has installed smart cameras across a mostly white, middle-class suburb to increase the security of their neighborhood, in what can be described as an "AI-powered apartheid."

With Flock, "When you have these systems paid for by wealthier businesses, or wealthier neighborhoods, that may result in a disproportionate level of service between communities," Maass said. On one side, you may have a richer, whiter neighborhood, and on the other, a poorer Black community, but both with car thefts.

"If one neighborhood has a bunch of surveillance cameras designed to stop those car thefts, then perhaps they're going to have police come out and solve those crimes more than in other communities," Maass added.

Police departments may collect data on more communities than others, either with intent as part of a deliberate program, or passively by, say, responding to more crimes with an ALPR camera in their vehicle and then collecting more data with that, Maass said.

Police, for their part, will likely continue to both buy and obtain footage from, Flock cameras.

"We actually continue to encourage residents to obtain and use video doorbells and outside video systems. We have found that the various tools help investigators," Schultz, the chief of the Memorial Villages Police Department in Texas, said.

Inside ‘TALON,’ the Nationwide Network of AI-Enabled Surveillance Cameras syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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Add These 10 Mangets To Your BigCommerce

I just read Michael Fox’s post on Australia needing more engineers that are software Mitchell Harper’s SMH opinion piece regarding the deficiencies of our university system for teaching software engineering. Interesting. I’ve done a bunch of hiring of engineers in Sydney over a number of years, so I’ve an impression in these areas too. Curious about I quickly scanned the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations skill shortage lists, but this didn’t reveal any particular shortage in IT generally if it was an accepted statistical fact. Anecdotally and through my own experience, recruiting engineers could be difficult, but we’ve also never had a shortage of applicants, even for niche roles. Most of the difficulty arises to locate top notch talent, not finding individuals to interview. And so the issue just isn't volume, but talent, and it is a skills shortage. We now have the social people, however the people don’t have the abilities. This makes sense: people in software engineering are well paid, and move on to do interesting, challenging work, so there is not any doubt so it’s an role that is attractive. Understanding that you want to work with software engineering and having desirable skills are a couple of separate things. Does university teach how exactly to be a software engineer that is good? Reflecting by myself education that is undergraduatestudying Information Systems during the University of New South Wales), the computer science curriculum was geared towards fundamentals. The first year course was taught in Haskell, that I think many professionals would agree is a superb introduction - it makes prospective engineers think in functions and side effects and it is an ideal teaching language. The sum of these subjects is a great background in computer science, not an industry developer that is ready. Right now (review the curriculum here), the focus is certainly caused by on core computer science and mathematics. You'll find nothing pertaining to industry that is practical, or web development, or best practices for organising work and teams. Reviewing Stanford’s computer science curriculum shows a remarkably similar group of subjects, so I don’t believe it is restricted to Sydney or Australia if we have a problem. What's the role of university anyway? The big, age old question is if it is the role of university to get ready students for industry? For Harper, the answer is "yes": "Australian universities are not producing engineers" that is workplace-ready. While in my estimation it’s not the job of university to organize "workplace-ready engineers" (I’m associated with the opinion that the basic principles and theory perspective is the proper focus for 90% of a qualification, and that a vocation ready engineer will establish at work), i really do think that there ought to be some degree of preparation, and the right amount of preparation will be relatively simple to deliver to students. A couple of semester long courses on industry practices would be give an undergraduate student a head start that is good. The truth is there will never be plenty of time in an undergraduate degree to completely prepare a student for industry (my suggestion of just one or two semester long courses will have to take a very good opinion on languages and operations, and would you should be the beginning). Harper says that "They’re quite simply not being taught the right languages, methodologies, processes and problem concepts" that is solving but even to instruct the "right" languages into the "right" way would take such a chunk of a student’s time that there’d be precious little time left for the true science to be learnt. Indeed, for Harper’s BigCommerce, the right language would be PHP, and would most certainly be counter-productive for young engineers to learn. I’m surprised to learn Harper saying that they’re not being shown problem solving concepts at university, and I’d want to learn more exactly what he means by that. Students are being taught to be engineers, but mostly industry is interested in half-engineers, half web-developers. The web developers that are best have built on fundamentals, the sort of fundamentals a student learns at university. Some good web developers have self-educated rather than attended university, and also for the right individual there isn't any doubt you can find probably few careers that accomodate the self taught so well. You will find precious shortcuts that are few learning those fundamentals though. So, industry wants graduate engineers who are able to hit the ground running and can deliver value straight away aided by the particular languages and processes that a company that is specific chosen, and has no time to build up individuals with potential. Why blame universities for not catering for this kind of demand? University needs to deliver timeless knowledge built on science and learning, not focus on the whims of a quick paced industry, attempting to predict every fad which comes along. Companies can complain, but there’s a quick method to solve this problem: take students with potential and train all of them with your languages, your processes, your engineering ideals. This is certainly also the way that is slow solve the problem, but hey, much better than complaining.

Communicating these ideas and implementing them not merely builds brand credibility, but customers feel much safer and there’s no bigger conversion killer than when a person does feel safe n’t. Being in several channels may work well for your needs, but as long as you can measure results. Make sure to ensure that analytics is a major section of your omnichannel plans! That’s the way that is only have the ability to get the 80/20 of what exactly is working together with your marketing. Tracking cross-channel impacts of advertising is quite challenging. Don’t try to get it perfect, use data to get trends instead. Don’t make any assumptions. Perform some ongoing work to comprehend who your customer is (buyer persona), what they want, and how they research/buy. Retail, especially online retail, is getting to be an even more place that is crowded every day passes. Be really, REALLY clear about your metrics and who your target customers are! What exactly is your average customer lifetime value? What exactly is your acceptable cost of acquiring a new customer? What exactly is your customer persona and what do they care about? Make every decision with those three things in your mind. Concentrate on the buyer’s needs and journey first and then align your teams, data and systems to generate a seamless and customer experience that is integrated. A lot of people do so within the reverse order and then wonder why they have experience gaps. Take the time to sit down with your team and actually map out (1) your customer personas and (2) how these personas flow during your user acquisition channels (i.e. FB ads, Instagram, Google, etc.) and (3) where they end up buying your product (in other words. website, brick and mortar, mobile app, Amazon, etc.). You possibly can make it interactive using this method on a wall in your office and using color coded post-it notes for every step regarding the journey. Don’t undervalue the free stuff. Search, influencer coverage, product reviews, industry directories, coupon/deal sites: they all play a subtle and role that is interrelated’s tough to attribute, but that’s precisely what means they are a simple yet effective usage of spend. In economics terms, that uncertainty is exactly what means they are an marketplace that is inefficient. Most purchases require multiple marketing touches. You can verify it for your brand within the Time Lag or Path Length reports in Google Analytics. Product critiques, search engine results, blogger coverage, social strategy, all frequently play a shared role in a single sale. Try to avoid applying the same goals to every channel and instead consider how each channel can contribute to your strategy.

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BigCommerce's stock nearly triples during the open, and keeps rising

4:42 a.m. Sept. 6, 2020

You may use Amazon to get time that is first, a brick and mortar retailer like 7/11 to boost brand awareness, and then drive all of this traffic back to your D2C online storefront where you earn nearly all your margin. Cannibalization of sales from multiple channels is a real risk but it requires to be weighed against the benefits these channels offer. Continuously optimize and test to achieve your goals. You never know what channel, message, time of day, or means of engagement will work best unless you test it. Before entering into new channels, spend some time looking into how competitors or brands that are similar utilising the channel. The intent and expectations across channels varies greatly. For example, somebody scrolling on Instagram is very different than somebody searching for your product on Google Shopping, while the expectations that are post-click costs will differ as well. Omnichannel isn't just having things work technically across channels - it is about providing an incredible experience across channels. Just because customers are functionally in a position to do what they should do does not imply that you’re providing an amazing customer experience across channels. Make sure you’re emotionally connecting with customers at every opportunity. Talk to the consumer. You can’t completely understand the journey or the issues you’re not speaking to the customer to find out how they’re experiencing it in it if. Online focus groups, visit tracking software, reading feedback, actually calling them and asking them! You can’t do a job that is good of if you don’t speak to them. We mistake a buyers journey by convinced that customers desire to control it. This is simply not the scenario in terms of creating a connection that is customer/brand. It has to produce sense towards the Brand and contains to build a memorable journey that’ll be noticeable in the buyer’s mind specially when the internet space is becoming over crowded with options. Aside from channel, customer experience has to be a top priority. You'll have the website that is best or the fanciest retail location, if the service is lacking, you’ll lose customers. Expectations are greater than ever, and modern consumers won’t tolerate lower than stellar experiences. Also, make content for buyers at all stages of it is needed by the journey-customers! One-size-fits all does not always work. Increasingly, consumers expect the retailers they do business with to offer a omnichannel experience that is seamless. The fact is consumers have endless choices of where (and how) to search these days, and if you don’t meet their expectations and gives convenient solutions, they will find one of the competitors that will. Omnichannel is a way that is great brands to simplify the direction they connect with customers through different marketing platforms.

These 5 Simple BigCommerce Methods Will Pump Up Your Gross sales Nearly Instantly

In an effort, to become an even more effective brand and still touch differing people in every kinds of channels you must think like a consumer. My biggest advice is to brand is ensure it is easier not complicated. Developing an omnichannel strategy is a uniquely-tailored process with customer-centric goals. The main focus should be on how your visitors wish to experience shopping online, and that focus should really be supported by the infrastructure partners who is able to help to hold that customer’s experience to the highest standards. Ensure that you have an answer with a hub and spokes that function seamlessly to allow your brand image and promise to shine across channels no matter where your customers decide to engage with you. Most importantly, don’t assume or think you know your customers expectations and desires, but really do the job and research to make sure you are aware, and this will enrich the omnichannel experience you deliver. Think about the buying experience from your perspective. Years back, you would buy in-person only. At some time you started online that is shopping and sites like Amazon. But these worlds are starting to blend and you’re more and much more prone to take a look at something in-person but online buy it. The key as a merchant is to be in a position to accommodate your customer and however take their order they would like to give it. Individuals are almost certainly going to purchase when you present them with an offer that’s personalized for their needs. Studying your data and getting very granular together with your audience segmentation allows you to deliver a highly-personalized promotion that is on-site is more prone to convert. Anticipate to serve your shopper whether this woman is into the awareness, consideration, or decision phases regarding the customer journey. For example, shoppers do not know always what they would like to buy, or perhaps know and cannot verbalize it. Along with great visuals and superb design, brands should always have search, filters, and buy buttons ready for shoppers moving from awareness to consideration, and decision. The same across all channels to make channel switching easy for customers, make sure your brand FEELS. And remember, buyers say they want three things: their desired outcome and an experience. Whatever they really would like is an experience that transforms them. People purchase from people. Be consistent, be approachable and start to become relevant. Smaller brands are more malleable and certainly will adjust and innovate quicker than larger, established brands. Trends change so quickly and often that you need to constantly innovate. Create an omni-channel experience that aligns in what your brand stands for. Stop thinking when it comes to channnels and start thinking in terms of the engagement that is entire irrespective of transactional outcome.

You know more regarding the branding than other people, so make sure you have consistent, accurate branding across as numerous online and offline channels. Don’t let random resellers control your branding. Because over fifty percent of all U.S. Automate whenever possible. Checking up on Amazon, eBay, social media marketing, your internet site, and just about every other channels you’re a part of can quickly get overwhelming. Automation may help things run smoothly without sucking all your time. The things that can’t be automated should be delegated as much as possible, unless it’s a thing that only you can certainly do. Hiring & training the people that are right imperative to scaling your organization without working 80 hour weeks. Really, this really is just good business advice. Nonetheless it’s a lot more true whenever you branch out into multiple platforms. Integration is key. Only 7% of marketers can deliver omnichannel in real time, all the time. To get close, brands need to adopt a strategy that is holistic loops in every avenue of customer engagement. The necessary data to drive the next interaction in the customer journey in theory, each channel should be able to talk to each other and leverage. This level of integration promotes consistency across all touchpoints and offers customers with a experience that is seamless’s channel-agnostic. A brand name that may make this happen could have the benefit over its rivals. It all starts with data management. It’s the inspiration for a successful omnichannel approach. Whether it’s through a PIM (Product Information Management) solution your very own custom built one, you will have to establish a workflow to improve product data to generally meet the various requirements for the various channels. Don’t leave any stone unturned! Test all the channels you might think could "speak" to your web visitors. Just be sure that selling across multiple channels does not take your life over. Automate just as much as you can - which means that your business runs smoothly. The key is customer experience. Brands need to understand the importance of various touch points that impact a consumer’s decision to move forward with them today. Depending on their sales force can be as important as holding a good reputation that is online review sites. In fact, the social media marketing presence and engagement also form important KPIs that impact a customer’s choice. I really believe that brands must up their game in all these areas and approach their customers then as per proper segmentation techniques. Brands that succeed in omnichannel don’t just think about how exactly to sell on different devices, they’re also thinking about how precisely consumers use different devices and channels to see a purchasing journey. Many brands appear to believe omnichannel performance is governed by happenstance.

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The Best Films of 2017, Part II

Part I can be found here. I should have mentioned the films I haven’t seen, which include BPM; Faces Places; The Square; Coco; Thelma; Last Flag Flying; Roman J. Israel, Esq.; Wonder Wheel; Jane; and I, Daniel Blake. Long-time AHOLs also know that I’m in the fifth year of a self-imposed five-year break from superhero culture, so I haven’t seen Logan or Thor or whatever else. With that: ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS 87. The Great Wall (Zhang Yimou)-  Zhang Yimou's The Great Wall has a lot in common with Wong Kar-Wai's The Grandmaster. Both are high-concept international co-productions that bear just enough of the filmmaker's signature but feel unfortunately cut to ribbons in the editing room. Computers have made us all a little worse at our jobs, Zhang included, and his spectacle is achieved despite CGI, not because of it. I liked watching a boulder's journey through the stages of being catapulted, even if it eventually landed into a physics-negligent pit of cartoon monsters. By the end, the picture is more bloodless, sexless, and simplistic than a game of toy soldiers, which makes it seem just as child-like. It's a forgettable sort of fun, but it is often fun. 86. The Ghost in the Shell (Rupert Sanders)- A bit more comprehensible than the original but far less beautiful. It's a shame that visions of future exteriors haven't improved or at least changed since Blade Runner. Big advertisements. Got it. (Also, we have telepathic walkie-talkies, but people sleep on the floor?) There are a few good ideas drizzled around. If people can basically toggle back and forth between languages, why not hire a famous actor who doesn't speak English for one of the supporting roles? Speaking of acting though, Johansson is pretty bad in this, hamstrung by the whole playing-a-robot problem. (She looks as good as she ever has though, which is saying something.) She could have taken some notes from Michael Pitt, who brings some edge and skitter to his cybernetic replicant or whatever they call it. 85. Wilson (Craig Johnson)- It hits the notes that a Daniel Clowes property usually does: misanthropy, formlessness, begrudging acceptance at the end. I laughed a few times and appreciated the huge left-turn at the two-thirds mark, but I didn't think it amounted to much. 84. Patti Cake$ (Geremy Jasper)-  Other than the Basterd character, there's nothing really broken about this movie, but I'm selling on anything with double-digit dream sequences. 

83. Colossal (Nacho Vigalondo)- The ending, both the final act and the final note, went a long way to save what was a tedious sit for me. I appreciate the big swings that everyone took with this budget and material--Sudeikis once again gets to show impressive range. But this is an hour of material stretched to an hour and forty-nine minutes. 82. Rough Night (Lucia Aniello)- Hide-the-body movies never work, but what makes this one disappointing is that there's a daring, original corrective somewhere on the margins. You can tell from the comparatively tame bachelor party or the unexpectedly positive threesome that this movie has refreshing ideas, but both the Machine and TV visuals from a TV director shaved the edge down. No one wants to hear such a thing about a sorely-needed female-driven comedy, but Paul W. Downs is the funniest thing in this. 81. Beauty and the Beast (Bill Condon)- Shout-out to the morons protesting this movie's gayness but not realizing that the original was always an allegory for AIDS. These live-action remakes are all around the same quality, but this one feels especially bloated, with really dicey CGI. Things get borderline boring in between the musical numbers, but, man, do those numbers hold up. There's the title track obviously, but songs that would be throwaways in something else--"Gaston," "Be Our Guest," "Something There"--are BANGERZ here. The real IP is the music, and Disney is just going to get each generation's Josh Gad to sing them forever. 80. Darkest Hour (Joe Wright)- This movie reminded me of The Imitation Game in the sense that it's a staid presentation with a solid structure that feels cheap whenever it zooms out beyond its back rooms. The grander version of this, which Joe Wright in some ways already made, is probably just as unsatisfying, but it wouldn't have the pinnacle of goofiness that will hereupon be known as The Underground Scene. I’m a bit bored of this type of film. Darkest Hour might be worth seeing for Oldman's performance, which is a true transformation, absent of any actory vanity but invested with some real myth-making. Churchill gets introduced with just his hat, then lit by just a match, then lit by a shock of sunlight. Oldman is very good in his scenes with Scott Thomas, so it's a shame that her character disappears for a half-hour at a time. The more troubling thing to note is that there are many men in this film who are so English that they can't pronounce their r's. If you catch it eawly, it's a weal distwacting pwoblem. 79. The Fate of the Furious (F. Gary Gray)- Since some of the dumbest stuff is some of the best stuff*, I'm not going to get caught in the web of assessing how much sense The Fate of the Furious makes. But I can say that this entry is the least intentionally funny of the series, and other than "the White girls' soccer team is the Monarchs," it loses some of the class undressing of 6 and 7. From the endless scene-setting to the overstuffed character roster, this is now more of a comic book than a movie, an exercise in being a plot without being a narrative. *- See: the "make it rain" sequence, Statham swinging the baby carrier through a gun battle, Rock redirecting the missile with his bare hands.

78. Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press (Brian Knappenberger)- The first hour, centering on the Hulk Hogan/Gawker case, is compulsively watchable, even if it doesn't shed much extra light for anyone who followed it when it happened. Terry Bollea explaining that his penis is shorter than ten inches while Hulk Hogan's, the character's, is not: That's what I signed up for. When that case veers into the bizarrely vengeful, pretty much when Peter Thiel comes in, Nobody Speak becomes something else. The final third pits the sensitive, diligent bullpen of the Las Vegas Review-Journal against billionaire liver spot Sheldon Adelson, who bought their paper to suppress it. Then, of course, the doc expands to Donald Trump's vilification of the free press. If that sounds like a straight line, it doesn't come off that way in the film. The Hogan/Gawker stuff, which takes up the majority of the running time, feels unresolved after all the tangents. 77. The Reagan Show (Sierra Pettengill, Pacho Velez)- I'm cringing for the next five years, in which I'll have to judge a movie's success based on how subtly it invokes its mandatory Donald Trump comparisons and allegories. They're coming. In general, it's kind of sad to see how much more literate people were even thirty years ago, even as they populated a medium we all agreed was low culture. This documentary feels sharp at first, understanding something essential about the way Reagan owned his own persona. With the American Right treating him like some patron saint, it's also helpful to remember how much pushback he got at the end of his second term, for something that would be, like, the fiftieth most controversial thing Donald Trump would have done already. (See?) When the doc gets to its own fascination with Reagan's Star Wars program, however, it basically loses its thesis. As lean as it is, it still sort of stumbles to the finish line. 76. Beatriz at Dinner (Miguel Arteta)- I appreciated this portrayal of a culture clash way more than I liked it. For a while the characters are highly specific. (The delivery of "It's 6:13, Kathy" made me laugh out loud.) Then the plot turns into "Oh, so we're talking about Trump's America, right?" (See?) Here's a critique that's catty every time: This film has great ideas about class and race if you've never thought about class and race before. 75. I, Tonya (Craig Gillespie)- Oscar is calling...for the fat dude playing Shawn Eckhardt and no one else. If Allison Janney wins for doing the thing she always does over Laurie Metcalf's fully realized human, then it's a huge mistake. Successful in some of its comedic goals, especially in its depiction of northwestern goons, the shame of the working class, and period detail. (I laughed out loud when I saw the Girbaud tag on Gilooly's jeans.) Unsuccessful in most of its other goals--if I'm even reading the film correctly in my assumption of those goals. The most obvious one is the slippery nature of the truth, and that idea is handled clumsily. Gillespie goes to great GoodFellas-aping lengths to grapple with perception--having characters break the fourth wall even though there are already voiceovers and to-camera interviews. That talking to the camera comes up a few times in the disturbing scenes of domestic violence, which do humanize the characters because the other elements of the film can't, but they distract the viewer with their blitheness. The most puzzling angle of the film is the Hard Copy reporter, played by Bobby Cannavale in yet another example of his agent not knowing how famous he is. It's a missed opportunity in a movie full of them. 74. It (Andy Muschietti)- I don't get why people went nuts for this. The ensemble avails itself pretty well, despite all the sitcom-y dialogue. (Dialogue that, based on the Stephen King that I've read, is probably faithful to the book.) Some of the visuals nail the distinction between surreal and unreal--my favorite is the children's TV show that sporadically drifts into the murderous. But the movie just kind of hangs there, all the way to its interminable ending, satisfied with its own literal presentation of events that seem to be metaphorical. As I understand, It--however It manifests itself--represents the death of childhood and the emergence of an adult banality of evil. But the movie engages with that level as little as possible, and maybe that's why people are going nuts for it. This is a scary movie if you're a child, and most of the moviegoing public seem to be children. 73. Before I Fall (Ry Russo-Young)- I mostly watched this because I think Zoey Deutch is a Movie Star, and if I'm going to be there for her Speed, I have to be there for her Love Potion No. 9's as well. I appreciated Before I Fall's brevity, but the premise offers a lot more fun than the film is willing to have. In the end the balance was off: It had to be either more moralistically PG-13 or go way darker. For example, just like in Groundhog Day, the character realizes that she'll live out the same day no matter what she does, and it triggers a nihilistic phase. But rather than going on a shooting spree or stealing stuff from a mall, she just, like, wears a sexier dress and talks back to her parents. Good swing, kids, but I'm waiting for the crazier version.

72. War Machine (David Michod)- There are some standout moments in War Machine, many of which are thanks to its impressive cast, but I don't think the film is cohesive enough for me to recommend. I know what Michod is against--counter-insurgency, military hubris--but it's harder to figure out what he's arguing for beyond some sort of level of transparency. The war sequence near the end feels at odds with the tone of everything else, even though it benefits from the Nick Cave and Warren Ellis score. In a similarly frustrated vein, I feel as if I know exactly who Glen McMahon is, and the script's greatest strength is how sharply it draws him, but Pitt's studied performance adds distance to it. It's as if all of the film's comedic nature is supposed to come from how people revolve around his straight man, and that expectation is too much to put on his shoulders. There's more than a little Bud Turgidson in the voice Pitt affects, but the difference is that, as mean as this sounds, I always believed George C. Scott when he played a smart person. 71. The Trip to Spain (Michael Winterbottom)- Diminishing returns. 70. Downsizing (Alexander Payne)- There's a meta-effect to the structure of Downsizing. Its characters decide to shrink themselves, finding unpredictable challenges in the process, and the film similarly gets more problematic as it focuses further into each of its four legs. The first part, the outside world, is when the film is at its most cutting and well-observed. It still lays its points on thickly--dude at the bar asking if downsized people should be able to vote, for example--but the questions are worth asking. The second part, Leisureland, the bourgeois subdivision lil' Damon lives in, is more satirical and less satisfying. (I do love that downsizing ends up being such a gauche pursuit though. Payne has always had his finger on the pulse of people with poor taste.) The third part, which takes place in the downsizing slums, is a sharp, unfunny left turn that discards characters but at least develops the protagonist further. And then the wheels come off in Norway. At least we got to hear Udo Kier say, "I do love my boat." 69. Okja (Bong Joon-Ho)- Since Okja is such a unique movie, I feel as if people will overpraise it as a way to brand themselves: Its poster is probably going to be in a lot of dorm rooms. But there's a lot that you have to look past in order to recommend it. In general, I find that Bong's English language work has a bizarre mixture of muddled themes being presented in direct ways. There is some sweetness here--most of it due to the amazingly detailed rendering of the pig--but too much of the comedy doesn't work, and the ending feels a bit easy. I liked most of the stuff with the Animal Liberation Front, and I kind of wish they had been the focal point of the movie. Can I say, as my main takeaway, that I'm worried about Jakey G? He is so big here, so out-of-tune with the rest of the film, that I blame Bong for not reining him in. At the same time, I keep making excuses for Gyllenhaal, claiming that his parts are under-written, but at a certain point, you have to point the finger at him if there's such a pattern of bad performances emerging. I didn't see Everest, but this is his fourth brick in a row. Help us, Dan Gilroy. You're our only hope. 68. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (Yorgos Lanthimos)- An interesting swing that ends up missing for me. Excepting The Lobster, Lanthimos's works seem obsessed with family dynamics, and he plays some interesting games with this family's perversions. Farrell's character's story about his father dovetails with his somnophilia, which seems to inspire the way his daughter offers herself to her object of affection. From Anna's medical past to Steven's alcoholism, these characters seem to have full lives that have been in motion long before the events of the story. But I kind of suspect I'm worshiping at the altar of auteurism, and I wouldn't have half the respect or patience I do for this film had I not known who made it. The dialogue and performances are purposefully flat and stilted, thus creating an off, eerie quality before we know why we should be unnerved. But what if the performances are just, you know, bad? The film also creates a premise that concludes in an inevitably unsatisfying way. I don't know what I would have done instead, but I'm not a genius filmmaker who gets the benefit of the doubt.

[dirtycoolcatconfessions]

COOL CAT DVD PACKAGE FULL ANALYSIS

  As some of you may know, as a birthday present I have finally received the Cool Cat movie from a friend of mine. Seeing as I am the self-proclaimed front-runner of the ironic Cool Cat fandom, I feel it is my duty to provide you all with my full analysis of all that comes with this monstrosity, so strap in fellas, this is gonna be a long one.

  Here's an image of the full package:

  Alright, let's start off with the "Thank you for your purchase" type paper.

  Right off the bat, let me say that every paper (bar the "poster", though that one is still preeeetty bad, though I'll analyze that when we get to it) is literally just standard-fare 8.5x11 printer paper. Now, let's start from the top. It says "Cool Cat Productions" as opposed to Derek Savage Productions, what he listed in the movie from what I can remember, so that's pretty strange. To the sides you can see two horrendous pictures of the cartoon form of Cool Cat, which both look like they were drawn in different art styles, with the one on the right for some reason reminding me of some kind of old 2D Chuck E. Cheese drawing, and the other on the right appears to be crying out in pain with weirdly-detailed clothes, a curly pig-like tail, and looking like a failed attempt at perspective. After that it lists the website, (nothing new here) and the email, which uses Yahoo, which I find fairly unsurprising.

  Another thing I love which shows just how much love and care (sorry, "love" and "care") Derek puts into his products is the fact that it doesn't even specify what you ordered, (in addition, the fact that it lists "bookS", since Derek doesn't even have the Cool Cat books for sale, and the Cool Cat Stops Bullying book comes with every purchase of the DVD, and soundtrack, of which they don't sell at all, though I believe Derek stated something about wanting to sell it in the future) which really lets you know that Cool Cat Loves You in particular and cares who You are as a person. (The capitalization is really weird throughout the paper, especially when listing the various products you could have bought, really lending to the "Copy-paste" feel of the whole thing, and the Cool Cat Loves You part somehow evokes a ™ without one even being there.) Further down it asks you to print out free "Cool Cat Loves You" posters (instead of just saying Cool Cat posters, for whatever reason) which is strange for a vast number of reasons. First of all, the poster section of the website is NO LONGER ON THE WEBSITE, and second of all, using the Wayback Machine to go back to an instance when there was shows that the 11x17 "poster" is identical to the poster received in the movie package, which makes you wonder why you would want a second one. 

  (One fun thing to note about this image is the fact that promises that Cool Cat greeting and birthday cards are "Coming Soon!" which I feel really shows you just how much commitment Derek has towards his projects.)

  Back to the original paper, we reach the bottom third of the page, we have Derek begging you to tell everyone you know about Cool Cat so that they know it's time to cut off all ties with you, followed by a call to follow the official twitter @CoolCatLovesYou, officially confirming that that twitter is indeed the real one, fucking weird and not-so as it may seem. Then there are a number of images of potential merchandise you can buy, mainly consisting of the horrendously drawn books that Derek isn't even selling because he's "still looking for a publisher." (Yeah, he couldn't get anyone to publish his books, what a fucking surprise, right? In addition, upon incredibly close inspection of these low-res images, I found that they don't even list the "Illustrated by" that's shown on the Cool Cat Stops Bullying book that came with the movie, since Derek wasn't actually the one who drew this shit. And it's not because it was only on the Cool Cat Stops Bullying book, since among the books on here IS that exact book, sans the "Illustrated by" like all others on the page. I just found that interesting.) Finally, reaching the very bottom of the FIRST ARTICLE OF LIKE 6 (told you it was gonna be a long one) we have a reminder to visit Cool Cat online for Game"s" (There's only one game on the Cool Cat page, "Cool Cat's Fun MatchGame") "Cartoons" (Neither of the two cartoons are accessible from the current page anymore) and More! (Which if by more you mean continuous self-advertising, shitty web design, and child-unfriendly content that can be easily clicked to from the page.) 

  Alright so, the next article, well, honestly I'm not sure what to call this one. It's got two sides, so let's start with the side I'll probably spend less time on.

  Alright, so I guess this side is some kind of info paper? Still not sure what to refer to it as. If you notice at the top it lists the quote that's on the cover, "Cool Cat is Cooler than Barney the Dinosaur!" and I would like to bring to attention the fact that the quote is attributed to Ben Daka, the producer of Cool Cat Loves You, which helps in making the quote seem as incredibly unbiased as possible. (Also yeah, the fact that someone actually produced this steaming pile of dogshit surprises me likely just as much as it might you.) It proceeds to list the summary of the movie, saying what kinds of movies it is, etc. etc. etc. It also lists that it "Includes FOUR Original Cool Cat Songs" however as someone who has watched the movie before online when it was on Youtube for a brief day or two before getting taken down, I can say that there are only two that actually play in the movie proper, "Cool Cat Boogie" and "Cool Cat Loves To Rock", while one is only in the movie as an instrumental while the actual lyrics are only in the DVD menu from what I can remember ("Cool Cat is My Best Friend") and the other only plays during the credits, and is just the song from the now-defunct Cool Cat "cartoon" ("Cool Cat is Cool") however the one in the credits does have an instrumental track behind it, but I'm too lazy to find somewhere you can find that version at the moment.

  Moving on, we have the "STARRING" portion of the page, in which it lists Vivica A. Fox and Erik Estrada despite their 2-3 minute appearances. In addition, if read from right to left, then it technically lists Vivica first, and even if you do read it from center outwards, the way it was likely intended, it still has Derek listed where you would most likely begin reading instead of Cool Cat, which I feel really shows off his vanity.

After that, we have the imperative ">Get Your COOL CAT Today<" which makes it sound like some kind of cat adoption poster or something. After that there's the blatant lie of "We Appreciate Your Business" followed by a statement saying that discounts for schools, libraries, and stores are available, which honestly makes me wonder if there are any places that even carry the movie that aren't online. Also it's kinda weird that they'd have that on one of the papers that comes with the movie. Does Derek expect people to be so blown away by their movie that they just have to bring this flyer to stores and shit so that others can feel the joy of the movie? I don't fucking know this entire analysis is just me talking to myself and probably pointing out shit you could have noticed yourself, but hey if that's not what the blog itself is I don't know what is. Anywho, another fun thing to note is the fact that according to the flyer, the runtime of the movie is 75 minutes, which actually makes it debatable as to whether or not it could actually be considered a film. Final thing to note of this side is that I was indeed correct in my previous assumption that the movie was supposedly made by "a Derek Savage Productions" as opposed to the "Cool Cat Productions" stated on the earlier paper, which is weird.

Anywho, next side of the paper, let's go.

  Now this side, this side infuriates me to no end. It's pretty much one glorified advertisement for the movie you already purchased. To save on time, I think I'll probably speed through this one tbh since the last time I wrote this thing it took me like 4 hours and it mainly consisted of pointing out every little thing on the page, so I'll just give the main things. First of all, why the fuck would you advertise your own movie in the flyer that comes with the fucking movie??? In addition, why does it advertise the books? As I previously established, the books aren't for sale, since Derek's still looking for a publisher. After that, it states that there are Cool Cat eBooks, which I'm pretty sure there aren't any, and they wouldn't even need a publisher I don't think. Also, just to point out, Derek actually managed to misspell merchandise as "MERCHINDISE" at the very top.

  The movie also claims to be a "DOVE AWARD" winner. After some research (I.E. one single google search) I found that the "Dove Award" is actually an award given to exceptional Christian music, so unless the soulful ballad of "COOL CAT IS COOOOOOL" won one of those, I find it highly doubtful that its correct. Next to it, you can see a logo with the words "FAMILY APPROVED" and "ALL AGES". This is the "award" Derek was actually talking about, which is really just an organization that makes sure that movies are family friendly, which sure is a real fucking accomplishment. Below that the flyer claims that it's **STARRING** Vivica A. Fox & Erik Estrada, who really nailed their 2 minute "starring" roles. After that there's some quotes, including one by the late Adam West, may he rest in peace, saying "Cool Cat is Cool!" despite the fact that on the Cool Cat site the quote from West actually says "Cool Cat is Fun!" which shows just how trustworthy this quote was, plus the fact that Derek most likely got the majority of celebrity quotes by walking up to them and asking them to say it. After that there's a quote of "I Love Cool Cat!" from Bo Derek, an actress starring in such great films as Tarzan the Ape Man,  Bolero, and my personal favorite, Ghosts Can't Do It. (All of those films had incredibly negative reception btw, apparently all three of which won her three seperate Golden Raspberry Awards). Finally, below the advertisement for some hideous hats and shirts, there's the godawful pun of "Get Your Cool Cat Purr-chindise" which manages to misspell the latter half of merchandise again, though on the current website, it says "Purr-chandise" so Derek had to have fixed it sometime, but seeing as this flyer is advertising the hats which only just came out a month or two ago, this flyer was made recently, so I don't fucking know.

Moving on, we've got the Cool Cat Loves You Poster.

  The first thing to note is that the poster feels like it was made on 11x17 printer paper, and all-in-all feels really low quality. In addition, it's fairly creased and banged up since Derek apparently doesn't know that you're supposed to roll up posters when shipping them. The main thing I want to note that stands out to me is the fucking background. When I first got it, I thought Derek, like, spilled coffee on it or something, but when I went to look at those posters online using the Wayback Machine, I found that it was completely intentional. I have no worldly idea why anyone would think that this would make a good background, since it gives off either an accidental coffee spill vibe or a 1984-esque dilapidated post-apocalyptic "Big Brother is Watching" sign from it.

That's about all I have to say for the poster, so let's move on to the keychain.

First of all, I'm debating whether or not to put this keychain anywhere since I would probably run a high risk of getting the shit kicked out of me. Anywho, there's not much to say here, it feels like a generic truck stop souvenir keychain, except the fact that Cool Cat is weirdly not centered is bothering me.

Here's the back side to the keychain.

  Again, not much to say, other than the fact that I never want to see the question "Got Cool Cat?" ever again.

  Now we have the book that came with the movie, Cool Cat Stops Bullying. Here's the front cover:

  As you can see the art is fucking hilarious and it looks like Cool Cat is being held at gunpoint. And again, I'd like to point out that it wasn't even Derek who drew this, it was some guy named Robert Rainbow. Imagine paying someone to draw your book and getting this in return. Also, fun thing to note, Daddy Derek is actually a cat in this one (Yes, that is actually supposed to be Derek, since Cool Cat refers to him as Daddy Derek in the book) which poses the question of why the ever-loving FUCK isn't Derek a cat in the movie? (I'll tell you why, it's because Derek still thinks he's hot and wants to show off his "body" in the movie, plus the fact that he was likely way too cheap to have more than one costume made, though it could have easily been avoided by not having the parents, namely Derek, show up often, or in such complex scenes, etc etc. You get the drift, it's just lazy and self-aggrandizing).

Following that, there's the back of the cover.

  Again, not much to analyze in detail, except for the fact that Derek would apparently charge $3.49 for this shitty thing, despite the fact that you can read it in around 2 minutes or under.

  After that there's the side of the cover, which actually has some sad little tidbits of its own.

  If you look closely enough, you can see that the book is fucking stapled together, which I find hilariously depressing. In addition, the publisher is sourced as "Blue Thunder Books" which from my extensive google searching towards the topic, doesn't seem to be a real publisher.

  I would love to post every page of the book itself, but I feel like that might be grounds for some kind of copyright takedown from Derek, though I'll continue looking for some legal way for you guys to see each page, since each one has an illustration, and they're fucking hysterical. Here's a single image for you guys as a little teaser:

  Anywho, onto what you all have been waiting for, the main attraction, the only thing that was purchased and all this other junk just came with for free: The movie. You all have probably seen the box a hundred times, so there's not much for me to analyze there, but here's the front:

  One thing I'd like to point out that I haven't seen anyone else discuss is the fact that Derek and Maria, though most notably Maria, are incredibly low quality and poorly cropped in, to the point where you can't really even make out Maria's face since it's so blurry.

Here's the back:

And here's the side:

  What's interesting to note here is the fact that on the top of the side there's two little icon image things, one of Cool Cat, and one of Vivica Fox, both of which are pretty low quality.

Anywho, enough stalling. Time to open this motherfucker up.

  I'll be honest, when I first opened this thing up, the first thing I noticed was the smell, oddly enough. It's really hard for me to describe, though I will say it's a weirdly bitter, sour smell, maybe something like glue mixed with something else. I have no idea. Anywho, as it was previously pointed out by YMS, the image on the disc is literally a fucking sticker. Unlike YMS's, however, is the fact that it doesn't come off just by breathing on it, so I'm guessing it was just glued to the disc. In all honesty, I haven't even put the disc in my computer to play it yet, since I'm afraid I'll either somehow get a virus from it or that it'll melt inside my computer. I'll just put it in.

Okay, so after putting the disc in the DVD the Disc Drive I got this.

Alright, so there are two folders, the audio one is empty. Great. Then there's the video one.

No idea what this means. Guess I'll have to play it on a DVD player for now.

  Anywho, I guess that there wraps up my analysis! It was mainly me just blabbing on and on about things you probably don’t care about, and doesn't really have a conclusive "end'' or anything, but hey if anything else pops up I'll be sure to notify you guys. Thanks for reading this far if you did, and hopefully Tumblr won't crash before I can post it this time.

[hotelregalenclave-blog]

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Go one step even more by sending a sitemap to Google Search Console to make certain Google can crawl all the pages you desire indexed. Oh, and Bing Web Designer Devices, also. 5. Establish 301 redirects I cannot emphasize sufficient the value of correct redirecting. You must have a plan in position to set up redirects as soon as you release the new website. Postpone or failure to set up 301 redirects might impact your existing projects and also lead site visitors to a hideous 404 web page. Many web content administration systems, including WordPress, have integrated tools or plug-ins to earn this a simple process. 6. Install tracking scripts Make certain any type of essential tracking manuscripts are installed, such as those for Google Analytics. Double-check that the tracking code in your Google Analytics account matches specifically with the code on the brand-new site. After launch, examine your Google Analytics account to be sure it is tracking website traffic suitably. The Real-Time attribute in Analytics is useful for testing. 7. Obtain every person on the exact same web page Regarding One Month pre-launch, hold an all-hands meeting with your designers, designers, task supervisors, content creators, as well as any person else involved in the task. Opportunities are, you met extra regularly as a whole team earlier in the website advancement project, yet take a moment to regroup and obtain everybody on the exact same web page as you going toward the go-live day. Doing so will certainly give every person a chance to bring up any kind of demands or requirements that can impact others-- and offer your team enough time to respond as well as make modifications to avoid any final clambering. 8. Prepare your other projects Be sure to notify everybody associated with your advertising and marketing efforts-- consisting of inner and also third-party groups-- of the pending web site adjustment so they can update their projects appropriately. If your domain is changing with the brand-new website launch, provide added caution and a clear deadline for transforming URLs in all projects. If any kind of printed products will certainly be influenced by the domain name modification, provide even more advanced notice. 9. Examination every little thing, prior to and also after launch Of course you tested the website thoroughly prior to this indicate guarantee all is working properly, right? But be particular whatever is firing on all cyndrical tubes by screening attributes promptly post-launch until you're satisfied that whatever is functioning properly. Here is a partial checklist to get you started: Examine all links and navigating. Guarantee all pictures provide effectively and video clips play. Examine all get in touch with kinds as well as make sure e-mails are going to the appropriate individuals. For shopping websites, examination the cart and check out functions. Have numerous people evaluate the site on various gadgets and internet browsers.

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Hire a Website Developer to build a website like Bharat Matrimony

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107, Kothari Milestone, Near Railway Station, Malad, Malad West, Mumbai, Maharashtra 400064

Troika Tech Best - eCommerce Website Designing & Development Company in Andheri, Bandra

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Instinctive kinds as well as natural language user interfaces Types are made use of all over - for registration, bookings, check out, client comments, subscriptions, and so forth. They are an integral component of any type of web site that intends to interact with site visitors and ought to be offered special focus in the design phase. Straightforward, intuitive forms make it possible for organisations to streamline their processes, gather customer information better as well as eventually, make more money. Confusing types, on the other hand, could ruin the whole user experience. This year, we will see a constant adoption of pre-built plugins like CaptainForm that permit companies to construct all kinds of conditional, user-friendly internet types making use of personalized design templates. Firms in all sectors will certainly be embracing this trend to conserve time, far better get in touch with their individuals and also supply a more fluid individual experience. In 2017, we will certainly additionally see even more all-natural language UIs and also, specifically, natural language forms that make use of daily language and also objective to get details from a customer in an extra interesting and fun way. The elegance of these types is that they reflect the psychological design of a customer better than a standard form and also can be made use of in different contexts. Typeform is probably among the best-known instances of this trend. Internet search engine, especially Google, have actually functioned relentlessly to boost their search abilities to ensure that individuals can try to find information phrasing the concerns similarly that they would certainly if they were speaking to a friend. You could say we have actually been trained to expect to get exactly what we're seeking from the first try in addition to making use of day-to-day language. This recently developed expectation is spilling over into customer experience and just how we communicate with website design. We anticipate the "human factor" also when we're engaging with code as well as devices as well as brand names will should supply on this assumption. Robust web app performance One fad that will certainly continuously grow in 2017 is progressive internet applications. Dynamic web apps incorporate the best features of the internet and also mobile applications and make use of the huge internet community, plugins, and community. They are also substantially easier to create, release and keep compared to indigenous applications. For example, if you wish to start marketing occasion tickets on your WordPress website, you don't need to develop a completely functional internet application to be able to do that. Your website can implement such app-like features merely by using a plugin like Tickera that can transform any kind of static site right into a full-fledged ticketing solution. Creating from scratch requires a great deal of time, ability and budget plan and also is not always a better remedy than starting from an existing code base. WooCommerce is an additional hugely prominent plugin that can turn any kind of WordPress site into an eCommerce application. The growing variety of high-grade plugins and advanced APIs suggests that this year we will certainly see even more sites taking on internet application functions as well as interactive UI elements. Special brand-themed images Bespoke illustrations that match and also elevate the tone of a brand as well as communicate its personality is an incredibly effective communication method. When done right, images could improve a brand's recognition as well as add an aspect of fun to its site. Companies like Slack and also Dropbox are currently efficiently taking advantage of the effectiveness of tailored pictures. Within a significantly congested market, a solid aesthetic brand name will be just one of the primary vehicle drivers of organisation success. Focused on assisting services to stick out and be extra remarkable, brand-themed pictures will play a central duty in site style this year. Microinteractions As it was famously claimed by Charles Eames, "The details are not information. They make the product." Properly designed microinteractions are extremely effective and could define the whole product. They can obtain us pinning motivational quotes, liking condition updates and also retweeting effective messages as if it's a completely all-natural point to do. When done right, as opposed to imitating the human habits, microinteractions could really create new habit loopholes-- just think about Tinder's extremely addictive swiping actions. With the assistance of devices like Proto.io, which enables designers to quickly test as well as repeat their internet as well as mobile application layouts, anybody can produce new and also utilize existing microinteractions that already work well without real coding. Once established in the mind, microinteractions become incredibly effective UI weapons because they help developers produce user-friendly experiences as well as enhance the internet communications. This year, we will certainly see this pattern continue to develop and grow in impact. Severe fluidness from mobile, desktop to TELEVISION Follow these 10 site launch ideas to conclude your task with a smooth go-live shift. 1. Agree on the launch timing Review-- with all those worried-- the most effective time to launch the new site. That discussion must initially happen at the beginning of the project, so you could establish and meet deadlines. But when it gets closer to the real launch, make sure to get to contract on the very best day, day of the week, and time of day to go real-time. Should you introduce over the weekend break? In the center of the night when website traffic is reduced? Settle on a launch time that benefits every person. Click Here! 2. Back it up Back up your existing site before releasing the brand-new one. Routine back-ups should belong to your regular web upkeep anyway, yet they are essential prior to introducing a significant redesign. Simply in situation anything goes awry throughout the launch, you would be able to revert to your old site. More than most likely ... you won't require it; however if you do, you'll be glad you took this very easy step. 3. Preparation for the technical change There are myriad technical elements to think about when transitioning from the dev environment, consisting of configuring the DNS to point to the correct holding carrier, updating all hard-coded URLs to result in the brand-new domain, as well as updating the WordPress/Site Address Links (if you are developing a WordPress-powered site). The precise processes vary, depending on the area of your dev website (different server vs. sub-domain on present server vs. sub-folder on present web server), so constantly speak with a knowledgeable Internet designer and also make certain there is a strategy in position. 4. Make sure you're seen by the search engines Before launch, make certain the whole website is set up to be indexed by internet search engine. This is an essential step if you want your new website to be noticeable in natural search rankings. Go one step even more by sending a sitemap to Google Search Console to make certain Google can crawl all the pages you desire indexed. Oh, and Bing Web Designer Devices, also. 5. Establish 301 redirects I cannot emphasize sufficient the value of correct redirecting. You must have a plan in position to set up redirects as soon as you release the new website. Postpone or failure to set up 301 redirects might impact your existing projects and also lead site visitors to a hideous 404 web page. Many web content administration systems, including WordPress, have integrated tools or plug-ins to earn this a simple process. 6. Install tracking scripts Make certain any type of essential tracking manuscripts are installed, such as those for Google Analytics. Double-check that the tracking code in your Google Analytics account matches specifically with the code on the brand-new site. After launch, examine your Google Analytics account to be sure it is tracking website traffic suitably. The Real-Time attribute in Analytics is useful for testing. 7. Obtain every person on the exact same web page Regarding One Month pre-launch, hold an all-hands meeting with your designers, designers, task supervisors, content creators, as well as any person else involved in the task. Opportunities are, you met extra regularly as a whole team earlier in the website advancement project, yet take a moment to regroup and obtain everybody on the exact same web page as you going toward the go-live day. Doing so will certainly give every person a chance to bring up any kind of demands or requirements that can impact others-- and offer your team enough time to respond as well as make modifications to avoid any final clambering. 8. Prepare your other projects Be sure to notify everybody associated with your advertising and marketing efforts-- consisting of inner and also third-party groups-- of the pending web site adjustment so they can update their projects appropriately. If your domain is changing with the brand-new website launch, provide added caution and a clear deadline for transforming URLs in all projects. If any kind of printed products will certainly be influenced by the domain name modification, provide even more advanced notice. 9. Examination every little thing, prior to and also after launch Of course you tested the website thoroughly prior to this indicate guarantee all is working properly, right? But be particular whatever is firing on all cyndrical tubes by screening attributes promptly post-launch until you're satisfied that whatever is functioning properly. Here is a partial checklist to get you started: Examine all links and navigating. Guarantee all pictures provide effectively and video clips play. Examine all get in touch with kinds as well as make sure e-mails are going to the appropriate individuals. For shopping websites, examination the cart and check out functions. Have numerous people evaluate the site on various gadgets and internet browsers.