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oh-phineas · 4 years

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Emma’s 2020 Questionnaire!

Your Name: Emma Characters: Phineas Flynn, Tiana Truitt, Aquata Triton, Henry Charming, Evelyn Deavor Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? I’m going to talk about Phineas because I’ve had him for the longest and I think he’s the one I’ve been able to spend the most time developing. So basically something I struggled with when I first picked up Phineas was how he deals with people he doesn’t like, because in the show I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. And I feel like this drama with Tony recently has finally helped me crack what Phineas’s deal is when it comes to conflict-- he doesn’t really feel down about it unless he feels like his character is being questioned, and that’s why with Wilbur he’s mostly like whatever while with Tony and Lock (in the past) Phineas has gotten petty and vindictive-- he doesn’t like the role he’s found himself in and he takes that personally if that makes sense. (Also Phineas just way prioritizes his job with Cornelius over getting back at Wilbur, even if he’ll make the occasional jab at Wilbur in Among Us or on Twitter). So that’s been really cool to explore. And I think he’s also gotten a little less finance-bro-y than I originally intended, but I think that side of him will definitely come out once he graduates and goes to uni. I think the thing I’m most proud of with him is kind of maintaining that balance between being totally likeable and fun while also pretty infuriating and obtuse, like he’s a sweet and well-meaning person who’s also really annoying and idk I think I do that balance well.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? I’m really excited to see where Tiana goes! Ever since I picked her up, I’ve been focused on this goal of getting the restaurant to happen and now that I’ve done that, there are a lot of possibilities. I want to see Tiana burn out from the stress a little bit-- maybe take on more than she can handle because a big part of her arc has been learning to accept help and collaborate with people, and I got to do that a lot with planning Tiana’s Place, but I would also really like to see that continue because those tendencies don’t really go away. I also want LOVE for Tiana even though I keep saying she doesn’t have time for it-- I want her to get a stupid crush that distracts her from work lol I think it could be really fun. And I’m also really excited to keep developing all her friendships, I love all of her Swynlake native connections and PRINCESS HOUSE and other small business owners and now that she really feels like she has put down roots with her restaurant, I want to see her branching out more.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. Ok sorry to keep talking about Tiana I promise I have other characters but I’m really proud of all of the different characters I incorporated into the Tiana’s Place opening. My goal was to make a real community effort to show that, no matter how much she wanted to do it on her own, she still has a whole group of people supporting her and who have a stake in it-- from Nuka and Ratigan in the beginning with the financial stuff to Clara and Toulouse and Laszlo with the music/art to Jun and Al for business advice to all the people who donated to the raffle. And the raffle was so fun and I hope people use that for plots!!

I also gotta shout out one more: writing the pirates AU Phineas and Ferb stuff was so much fun and really pushed me as a writer I think. I was a little uneasy going into pirates because action/movement/fights are not my strong suit and I knew there would be a lot of that. But the generated stuff was really helpful in kickstarting some ideas and Sid was so great to work with on that. I thought we got really creative and personally I had so much fun and I hope other people did too.

In terms of strengths for my writing-- I think I’m good with flaws? Like even characters who are really sweet and nice (I’m looking at you Henry) I think I try to show the different sides of them and explore how you can be both really well-meaning and really misguided at the same time. And I think that’s good because it has the potential to cause conflict and drive forward more plots where there’s no clear ~bad guy~ just flawed people trying their best and that’s the most interesting stuff to me. Of course I also love big bads! I think macro plots are really important. I think my niche though is those petty little conflicts and I think I do a good job with them.

I’m adding another too because you know what why not. I think I've gotten pretty creative recently?? Like I’ve done some really weird fun stuff this year-- Henry and Jake’s acapella audition is up there as one of my favorite threads, and I’m really excited about Tiana and Aurora’s fake date and Greg and Q doing Santa’s Workshop and I think Henry’s first open was one of my favorite opens I’ve done. Idk I think one of my insecurities about RP has always been that I worry I don’t bring enough ideas to the table with plotting and I think I’m getting better at letting my brain dream up weird cool stuff.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Like I said, plotting is still something I struggle with-- I spent the majority of my early RP experience in a very gif-chat-heavy open-heavy fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants rp, so coming to BDRP even back during round 1 in 2017, plotting was a big surprise to me. And this is also something that I struggle with in my non-RP writing-- story arc and structure is something I have always wanted to improve. But I think I’m getting better at fleshing out ideas and not putting too much pressure on myself. And I think I’m also getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and messaging people I don’t write with as often which is important because literally everyone here is so fun and talented! So I want to keep doing that. I know I can be a little shy sometimes (this sounds SO weird I never shut up lol but it’s how I feel) and I don’t want that to hold me back

In terms of actual writing stuff, I’d like to expand my vocabulary a bit more? I think I use certain words and phrasing so often that it annoys me and maybe it annoys no one else and my writing will be worse if I try to throw in unnecessary words but yeah. I think reading more will help with that. And in general I just really want to get better at thinking stuff through and building story arcs.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (They don’t have to be books, either!)

Ev is the one I feel like I need to do the most development on so here goes!

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, specifically the character Nora

Messy nerd girls! Messy nerd girls! Please recommend me more things with messy nerd girls! Nora is basically Ev’s exterior, the person people know her as. She’s chaotic and fun and relatable, and also kind of a genius.

2. Macbeth, specifically the character Lady Macbeth

This is one I wanna dive into! I’ve seen a heavily abridged version of Macbeth and that’s about it but I have a copy sitting on my desk. I love a villain who likes to stay behind the scenes and pull the strings, and while Ev is in this for “moral reasons” (lol) she’s also in this for #power. I’m not used to playing manipulative villains-- I’m usually more of a henchperson type deal, so the ultimate 4-D chess gal would be some good inspo.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, specifically Professor Quirrell.

Ok I am really sorry to bring Harry Potter into this but I think something that’s important about Ev is that one of the things distracting from her villainy is her vague air of incompetency. We know she’s very smart and she has the whole nutty-professor thing going, but she’s kind of a mess and I want characters to underestimate her. I think Quirrell’s vibe of being nervous about everything is similar to Ev’s messy exterior and I would love a good end-of-the-book villain reveal. And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Oooh so many things. Generally more romance-- I always hesitate a little with shipping IDK WHY maybe it’s insecurity about jumping into what always feels like a bit plot to me lol. But I wanna take that plunge more-- especially with Tiana! But I’m pretty much open to stuff with anyone, especially really silly rom-com type stuff. I also think that my shipping niche is super complicated stuff with villains (the irony and craziness of the Henleigh situation is so FASCINATING and FUN and I want MORE OF THAT) so just saying a I’m-flirting-with-you-because-you’re-a-good-ally-to-have-on-my-side-oh-no-I’m-actually-falling-for-you thing with Ev could be really fun (LISTEN her entire tag is just shipping content. I scroll through so much of it so of course it gave me some ideas)

I’m also REALLY jazzed about the uni stuff going on right now. Like I’ve said before, I think college is a really interesting place and so much weird shit happens there because you have all these 18-22 year olds living in close quarters and they come up with weird ways to entertain themselves. The secret santa/RA stuff has me loling every day and I just love stuff like that. Like, I’d love to have shenanigans like people sneaking into dorms and staying up until 3 am in the library and all that stuff. I just love that stuff.

Also I am really trying to do big bad stuff with Ev!! As I have mentioned... plotting and story arcs are a major thing I’m trying to work on, so it’s a lot to think about, but I would really just love to do all kinds of things-- I’d love to have her enable small-time villains, or manipulate people who are easily swayed, or to trick people. It’s a new area for me, but it’s something I’m excited about and I want to challenge myself.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

Because I literally can’t stop apparently lol. No but the thing I love about RP is getting to collaborate on a story and getting surprised by people, getting to geek out about something that I can also participate in, and having NO RULES. I think there’s something really special about having an interest that I can’t monetize or market, that I can do for pure fun out of my love of creating and writing. And I love having a community of people on the ride with me. It’s so much fun and I’m so grateful for you guys!

I always end with a gif so here’s my favorite gif it legit makes me laugh out loud

#bdrptask #this is just word vomit #enjoy

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willow-salix · 4 years

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Isolation update!

Day 74 of Isolation on Tracy Island

“What on earth are you two doing?” Gordon asked, popping up out of nowhere like a tropical jack-in-the-box, his shirt flapping in the breeze, making us both jump.

We were doing nothing more exciting than stretching out on the couch, where I had forced John to settle by laying on him and then demanded he read to me. And since that was actually a pretty normal occurrence, I was at a loss as to what he was referring to. Knowing him he'd just declared today to be "eat with your toes day" or something equally ridiculous and was annoyed we weren't playing along.

John stopped reading to glare at him. I lifted my head off his shoulder to join in with the glaring.

“We were trying to have a quiet moment without constant interruptions,” I told him. Why did he have to have so many brothers?

“I told you we should have gone up to Five for a few days,” John sighed, picking up the book again and continuing to read from where he had left off. I snuggled closer to listen.

“This supernatural soliciting

Cannot be ill, cannot be good. If ill,

Why hath it given me earnest of success,

Commencing in a truth? I am Thane of Cawdor.

If good, why do I yield to that suggestion

Whose horrid image doth unfix my hair

And make my seated heart knock at my ribs,

Against the use of nature? Present fears

Are less than-”

“That! That’s what I meant. What are you doing?” Gordon interrupted again.

“Trying to read Macbeth, obviously,” I grumbled.

“Why? It’s rubbish. No one reads that sort of thing any more.”

“Sure they do. Did you not read Shakespear in highschool?” I asked.

“Only when I had to, not for fun," he sneered that last word in the same tone people use when they have just trodden in something disgusting or realised there is no milk left in the house.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” I told him.

“You two are so weird, there are billions of books out there and you are reading one so old that hardly anyone can even understand it any more.”

“We understand it, or we wouldn't be reading it,” John sighed. “It’s not our fault that it’s too intellectual for you.”

“I could understand it just fine if I wanted to!” Gordon protested. We snorted in disbelief. “Hey! I can be an intellectual too, I can be smart. Move over!”

He shoved our legs out of the way, forcing us to sit up and dropped down next to me on the couch.

“Do you have to be here?” John asked.

“Yes. I’m going to prove that I’m smart, keep reading.”

John sighed but continued where he had left off, obviously knowing that there is very little point arguing with him.

“Are less than horrible imaginings.

My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical.

Shakes so my single state of man.

That function is smothered in-”

“Nope! I can’t do it! It’s just so boring!” Gordon wailed.

“Heathen!” I smacked him with a cushion.

“Out of my sight! Thou doth infect my eyes!” John flicked his forehead.

“What was that?” Gordon asked, beginning to laugh. “Did you just insult me in your weird Shakespear language?”

"Yes, because we invented old English," I sighed.

“Thou art a dull and muddy-mettled rascal.”

“Did you just call me stupid in old english?”

“Yep,” I grinned. “He did. It isn't boring, Shakespear is a total G.”

“Yeah, right, still sounds boring to me.”

“Macbeth is a masterpiece, it's about a Scottish dude and his mate who meet these three witches and they, out of the goodness of their hearts, give him a prophecy telling him that he’ll become king of Scotland but that his mate will father a whole line of Scottish kings but won't be king himself. Feeling like this is totally his destiny he isn’t prepared to wait it out and see what happens, he wants to be king now, so, with the urging of his wife, he kills the king and his mate. He is crowned but he becomes overwhelmed with guilt and paranoia. He goes back to the witches and they tell him that he must beware of some other dude named Macduff but that Macbeth is incapable of being harmed by any man born of a woman. So Maccy B, he gets a bit cocky and thinks it's all good for a while, even though Macbeth’s wife is going a little cray cray and taking the whole handwashing thing a wee bit too seriously. But then Macduff gets in on the action and brings an army with him, they storm the castle and Macduff tells old Bethy that he was born by cesarean-”

“Untimely ripped from his mother's womb,” John added.

“And Duffy beheads Macbeth and this other dude named Malcom that I forgot to mention, becomes king. See? It’s great!”

“Love, you just butchered Shakespear so badly that even I didn’t understand half of what you just said.”

“It’s my gift to the world,” I shrugged. “My ability to sum up a plot so badly that even I’m not sure if it makes sense. But I thought I did OK with that one.”

“Yeahhh, not so much,” Gordon teased. “I tuned you out three words in.”

“John, insult your brother for me, I am no longer talking to him.”

“Thou yeasty folly-fallen bladder.”

“How dare you, sir! I have no idea what that means but it sounds bad.”

“That’s kind of the point.”

“What’s the point?” Scott chose that moment to walk in, catching the tail end of the conversation.

“John is insulting me!”

“What did you do?”

“Insulted him.”

“I was asking Gordon.”

I cracked up laughing, Scott always has our backs.

“He said that Shakespeare was boring and then was mean to me after I took the time to explain the plot to him. Now I’m not talking to him.”

“Did you explain it the same way you explained The Witches of Eastwick to Virgil? Because I’d seen it and I didn’t understand that either.”

“My talents are wasted on you all,” I nudged John and quirked an eyebrow in Scott’s direction. He rolled his eyes but dutifully dragged out a premium insult.

“Sense sure you haven else could not have motion; but sure that sense is apoplex’d. ”

“Oh my god, you can still do that?” Scott laughed in amazement.

“Do what, insult people?” Gordon asked, clearly confused.

“John was in a Shakespearean insult team in highschool, they actually took part in competitions, he was obviously the champion, won them the league and a bust of Shakespeare’s head as a trophy.”

“Obviously,” I agreed, patting his hand proudly. “Dude got mad skills.”

Gordon's eyes flicked up to the bookshelf on the balcony above our heads where a small gold bust sat.

“You are so weird.”

“So you frequently tell me. Now, will you two kindly go away and leave us in peace?”

“Oh no, no way,” Scott laughed. “I want to hear more, in fact, I’m calling the others.”

And that’s the story of how John spent more than three hours blowing their minds and damaging their egos with a never ending volley of insults as they goaded him into more and more outlandish attacks. Here are some of the best.

Thou hath not so much brain as ear wax - to Gordon because he’s not intelligent enough to appreciate old english.

Thou qualling ill-nurtured lout - to Alan who kept chanting “me next, me next”.

Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed- to Virgil because he was in the middle of trying to tame his hair when he was summoned.

Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy - to Scott because he was brave enough to attempt to insult him back.

Thou fawning spur-galled harpy!- at me when I stole his coffee

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so- to all of them.

Your face is a book, where men may read strange matters- to me, because I’m a strange, strange lady and asked for another insult.

Thou fusty onion-eyed nut-hook! - at Virgil, no reason at all.

Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out- after flipping a certain finger at Scott.

Thou wimpled bat-fowling puttock- at Gordon because it was his fault that John was stuck insulting people when he had just wanted a quiet afternoon.

Thou currish bade-court hedge-pig- at Alan while examining his chin growth.

What, you egg! Young fry of treachery! - at Alan when he sided with Gordon.

Assume a virtue if you have it not- at Gordon when he protested his innocence.

Thou artless tickle-brained haggard! - at Virgil when he compared John’s nose to Shakespeare’s massive hooter.

Thou villainous weather-brained barnacle!- at Gordon, just because, and now everyone is calling him a weather-brained barnacle.

Get thee to a nunnery- to me when I said his Shakespearean accent was strangely hot.

Thou puny rampallian baggage- at Gordon, for no reason other than he’s short.

Thou art some fool, I am loath to beat thee- at Scott when he attempted to start a Shakespearean rap battle (don’t ask, it didn’t last long)

Thine face is not worth sunburning- to Virgil who thinks he’s too cool for sunscreen and has a red nose because he fell asleep in the sun again.

You yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am if like a crab you could go backwards- at Jeff who wanted to know just what the heck was happening in his lounge and why we were all screaming with hysterical laughter.

I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue away!- at Alan when he tried to steal one of John’s cookies while he was distracted.

Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you filthy bung, away!- At Gordon when he also attempted cookie theft.

The insult lashes came to a halt when Grandma called us for dinner.

“Hey, John?” Gordon whispered as we bundled down the stairs to the kitchen

“Yeah?”

“I dare you to insult Grandma’s cooking.”

“No, my love, it’s not worth it, think of the children!” I gasped.

“What children?” he asked, genuinely perplexed.

I shrugged. “Our non-existent children, I just thought I'd go full movie heroine for dramatic effect. You do what you want, you’re all crazy.”

He narrowed his eyes as he thought about it, then nodded. I should have known, no Tracy can resist a dare.

Grandma plonked down plates of something that might have been chicken, but also might have been sausages in a gravy for gruel straight out of a Dickensean nightmare.

I watched John out of the corner of my eye. Would he actually do it? He took a deep breath, as if psyching himself up for it. I couldn't blame him. He pushed the plate away and opened his mouth.

“Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish! Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

I think John’s grounded now, but the boys still haven't stopped laughing...

#savage john is savage #Shakespearean insults #john tracy #gordon tracy #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #Thunderbirds in isolation #isolation island #social isolation #john tracy appreciation society

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interludcs · 5 years

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BENEDETTA PORCAROLI , CIS FEMALE , SHE / HER → according to the school records , GIOVANNA ELOISA ARGENTI has been attending sacred heart for the past two years . i last saw them hanging around stan's place ; i think they were tying cherry stems into knots . at twenty - one , gio has been studying classics and get this , i heard that her bloodline has long been cursed to succumb to inevitable madness and it’s been the cause of many mysterious deaths in the family already — figure it’s true ? everyone around here always associates them with biting into an apple only to realize it’s rotten , a bloody nose dripping onto silk stockings , and the distorted screech of a violin coming from another room . in the time since these strange happenings , they have encountered unexplained occurrences .

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ QUICK STATS !

full name : giovanna eloisa argenti

nickname(s) : gio , gigi ( although she likes to think she outgrew it )

zodiac : scorpio sun , gemini moon ( click ! )

sexuality : bisexual .

occupation : student & heiress .

birthplace : rome , italy .

current residence : sacred heart academy .

pinterest : ( click ! )

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ BACKSTORY ! ( tw : depression , murder , suicide & drug abuse )

born in 1953 to one of the wealthiest families in italy ! the argenti's posses a ridiculous and tbh kinda disgusting fortune because of their distant ties to the old italian monarchy ... and are also long rumored to have been cursed hundreds of years ago as divine punishment for the sins of a past family member .

the family has a long and gruesome history — good husbands turning into killers , more than one argenti woman flinging herself off one of the many balconies in the family estate , children who hear voices in the night . more often than people care to count , these fits of madness are seemingly inexplicable .

giovanna was born on chilly autumn night . she would be her mother’s first and last child , but lucianna argenti saw her baby girl as anything but a miracle . when she was only five months old , a nanny discovered the woman trying to drown giovanna in the bathtub , stuck in a trance she’d later have no recollection of being in . long in denial of the family curse , marco argenti hired nearly every notable doctor in italy , but none of them could find a sound explanation for the violent and nonsensical trances his wife would experience for the next three years before ultimately taking her own life .

leaving giovanna to grow up all alone in the too big family estate at the hands of nannies , marco argenti would spend the better years of his only daughter’s life traveling all around europe , desperate to shake the ghost of his wife , but never succeeding .

despite all the tragedy early on in gio’s life , she had an almost typical upbringing for someone in her socioeconomic circle . a childhood devoid of the love her parents were supposed to give , nannies who gave in to the rotten demands only a wealthy child and sole heir could conjure up , a house that never felt like a home .

by the time she was a teenager , gio had grown up to be a different kind of monster — not the madwomen her classmates would snicker about when speaking ill of the blood that flowed through her veins , but something perhaps more dangerous , a selfish girl too clever and too beautiful for her own good .

on the eve of her 18th birthday her father makes his grand return home , gone so long he mistakes his daughter for a maid before a groundskeeper politely informs him of his mistake . causing more tension still was the brand new gold band on his ring finger , as well as the announcement that he’s selling the estate , and that gio’s to come live with his new wife and three small children in france .

the day giovanna argenti turns 18 is a day she can no longer remember save for waking up in the remnants of a burnt down home , ash caked underneath her fingernails , smoke burning her lungs . servants who have been loyal to the argenti family for decades will later testify that there had been a terrible accident lighting the birthday cake that night , that marco argenti had never returned home the night before , and that the family of four in paris crying murder were nothing but scammers after the family fortune .

gio spends the next year scrambling to piece together the mysterious events , a tiny voice inside her head insisting something wasn’t right with the story she’d been fed by the people who raised her , albeit confused as to why they’d hide the truth if something sinister had indeed happened that night . she could have sworn the memory of her father coming home was a real one — until she gets a letter in the mail , signed marco argenti , polaroid attached , a blurry shot of a man who bears the family resemblance standing in front of the statue of liberty .

cue the drug abuse ( coke being her poison of choice ) , the reckless and dangerous stunts all in the name of having a good time , the mind numbing sex with strangers . heart heavy with the idea that she was indeed going insane , following in the footsteps of all the argenti’s that had come before her , giovanna was left with the haunting sensation that her life was already doomed , and so she might as well make the most of it . on the flip side of this she also came to the realization that she could pretty much .... do whatever she wanted and get away with it ? people already thought she was cursed and crazy ... might as well act the part ... a little self fulfilling prophecy ... as a treat <3

in a feeble attempt to save her from an untimely and rather stupid demise , she is shipped off to sacred heart academy , a place a distant cousin once attended . mind clouded by addiction and unresolved trauma alike , giovanna can’t be sure the strange happenings at sacred heart are real at all or just a product of a dark and overactive imagination .

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

first & foremost ... gio was inspired loosely by some sexy women including miss effy stonem from skins , choi sooji from tempted , ludo from baby , villanelle from killing eve & lady macbeth minus the murder ( ... unless ? 😏 ) , as well as more lana del rey songs than i care to admit so we won’t be talking about it aha x

yes what i’m trying to say is she’s a little unhinged ... but in that fun sexy way like when amy dunne gives the cool girl speech in gone girl .

speaking of cool girls ... gio is one 😌 you would think growing up with a last name that’s literally famous for being cursed would have put a bigger damper on her popularity among people but there’s a certain fascination gio holds and she knows it . this isn’t to say she’s got a lot of friends because she definitely doesn’t , she just knows how to get people’s attention .

at her core she is clever , charming , everything someone who grew up with money is bound to be . but unlike the selfishness of other trust fund babies , gio’s operates on a different scale . she’s self obsessed , not because she views herself as better than anyone else , but because she’s so haunted by the idea that something terrible and wicked exists inside of her and it’s only a matter of time before darkness takes over .

in an effort to counter that weight , she breezes through life without taking much seriously . toying with people , the mind games she plays , it’s all an effort to distract herself , to entertain her brain with thoughts that somehow seem lighter in comparison to her own inevitable self destruction although the people she plays with might say otherwise .

consequences should scare her more than they do , but honestly she’s got a penchant for doing the things deemed bad for her . on one hand she figures little matters if she’s truly cursed , on the other hand she figures if she is cursed than whatever consequence comes her way is deserved .

flirty , but most of the time it never means anything . she is prone to intense infatuations , however , all of which have ended tragically so far so proceed with caution .

she’s definitely someone most people would know of , as she’s got an almost bad habit of striking up conversations with whoever , but ask someone to name her favorite color or any profound fact about her and they probably wouldn’t be able to .

very nosy due to her childhood of people watching and intensely studying the adults who raised her , and so the habit has carried on into her adult life . she won’t outwardly pry , but if you catch her interest she’ll unabashedly observe you like she’s an actor trying to better understand their part .

tons of fun at parties , but also in class , considering she’s snorting enough coke on the daily to treat school like it’s one big social gathering . life’s a beach baby <3

studying classics because she likes how intense the stories and history are , but she’s surprised herself by being rather good at the language aspect of the major .

deep deep down ... there is the desire to be understood and loved despite whatever uninhibited thing she’s convinced lurks around inside her but that is constantly in conflict with the idea that she’s fundamentally undeserving of real affection ... just girly things you know 🥺

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ WANTED CONNECTIONS ! ( all open to all genders )

my brain is quite literally all rot rn im just gonna list stuff with minimal elaboration please vibe with me ...

people she gets high with <3

ex infatuations that ended tragically lets get that angst

spare parental figures ... any professors out there want a demon child who will idolize u but not know how to deal with that so they just act up all the while hoping for forgiveness and the attention they never got from their own parents </3

speaking of professors i will play into the problematic trope of a student being obsessed with a professor -___- solely because i would lov to have gio go full throttle crazy ... as a treat ... this has nothing to do with that one line in lorde’s writer in the dark u know the one truly this does not have to be reciprocated at ALL

a confidant / someone she probably considers her closest friend who she is constantly disgusted with herself for opening up to but also truly not able to live without so it’s a fun cycle of push and pull but truly she’d probably die for them just don’t ask her that she’ll say no

i think it would be fun to have someone who knows about the supposed argenti curse maybe their family had some associations to gio’s or maybe they spent some time in italy at some point growing up and met her there idk im cute not smart ...

we’ve all been begging and begging i will jump on the bandwagon and ask for a sexy rival doesnt mean anything if u say i hate u after hooking up

someone she keeps bumping into when she’s sneaking out past curfew or cutting class and at first it was like dude seriously do we have to start alternating but now it turned into like wow i really hope we bump into each other again would u like a cigarette wanna listen to some music together

someone she sees a lot at stan’s place . perhaps on campus they have a very different relationship but off campus they feel free to have another

current hookups we love to see it there’s so many directions to go in maybe its purely a casual thing , maybe it’s casual for gio but not for them , or maybe gio’s the one like worm maybe i would like more than sex , maybe it’s like a we only hookup when we’re high at parties thing , perhaps it’s a secret hookup thing so it gets angsty

maybe a rival or someone she swears she hates and they swear the same but they accidentally bond along the way and it’s like well i thought i hated u but perhaps we are more similar than we thought but also we only know how to be enemies so how do we even move past this ...

perhaps someone gio goes to when she’s especially fucked up and they take care of her / start to resent her for seemingly caring so little abt her own well being and she resents them for caring too much bc it’s not liked she asked but she keeps showing up at their door and they keep letting her in

someone she can be in cahoots with ... go absolutely bonkers with knowing they won’t judge her and she won’t judge them

perhaps someone she can be a bad influence on

also someone who makes her want to be a better person bc we need balance

a group of girls gio can be like men r disgusting with but then they catch her hooking up with said stinky man and it’s just a cycle like please get some help luv

a dealer mayhaps ?

someone whose favorite pen she stole but blatantly lied and said she didn’t steal it but she uses it everyday in class so u know she did in fact steal ur pen

ok she’s out of juice i’m she

i wont lie to u ive been writing this all damn day … but we finally made it baby 😭😭😭 im sosososo sorry for the length & the wait … also i feel like my charas always change a lil once i actually start plotting & writing so sorry again if u see me finally writing as giovanna on the dash and ur like lit rally who is that … JSDBWJBDWBDJ also side note i promise u im almost done word vomiting all over the place but it must b said ... u know how there’s that trope that supposed insanity is like not always real like how female hysteria was a whole as thing or like how in haunting of hill house where the charas weren’t really haunted by ghosts at all more so by their trauma ... that was my whole inspo with the argenti’s like are they even cursed at all ? who is to say ... PLEASE come message me on discord to plot ! @ you are my soulmate ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 maybe … give this a like if u wanna … do that hehehe thank u for reading all this ur so brave for that stay sexy stan loona x

#heretics.intro #╰ ♡ . 𝒏𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒚 ── ooc !#pls lets not talk abt the length the quality OR the lateness ... compliments only x #JSBDJWBDJWBDJWD

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lovelyirony · 5 years

Note

Emotional TonyNat fic? Either's POV. One tryin to avoid the other because the feeling's so deep, it's already scary..

Tony failed two literature classes in college. Two. Both times, it was kind of only maybe sort of his fault.

But not really.

Kind of.

Yeah.

The problem with a guy like Tony is that he sees everything logically. He doesn’t get how literature is set up, why he has to read a play as pointless as Macbeth. It was obvious that he was ill-suited for the throne and due to that, his wife tried to take over but also realized that neither can do it, went crazy from a morality crisis, and then it went on for ages.

He doesn’t do small talk, which is partially why he takes the business world by such a storm. If you’re boring, Tony will not talk to you. He will tell you that he wants to get to the point, and you better do it.

Natasha Romanoff is the same way.

She knows what she’s meant to do, what is expected of her. She will not do more than that, will not do less.

Being a part of a team that you have an emotional stake in causes complications, they both come to find out. When you care about people, nothing is exact.

Natasha finds herself sliding over a box of tea for Bruce just because she remembers that he was saying he was nearly out, and he didn’t want to deal with the crowds that much, particularly.

She stares at herself in a mirror for a long time after that.

Because she’s Black Widow. She’s heartless. She’s a picture of perfection, stone cold down to the gaze.

Tony’s becoming the same way. Soft. He keeps making sure that Steve doesn’t fall asleep on the couch and complain about how he slept the wrong way, and that Natasha’s bike is still in top condition.

“I know how to care for my bike,” Natasha snaps one day, Tony rolling his eyes.

“Your bike has never received the special Stark Treatment. I’ll have her practically jumping to go.”

“Fine,” Natasha snaps. “But I get to drive the Audi anywhere I want to go.”

“I hope you know if you crash my car, that’s four million,” Tony says. “Custom work doesn’t come cheap.”

Natasha gags as she looks at the car.

“That for four million?”

“Clean energy when it wasn’t a priority,” Tony says. “Hell of a dent for pocketbooks to take.”

“And I’m sure yours handled it with grace.”

Natasha comes back at night. She doesn’t tell anyone where she’s been, although she throws a paper bag for a bookstore in the recycling, according to Jarvis.

“Do you always have to keep tabs on me?” she asks, not even looking up. She’s the only one who has resolutely made herself not do it, finding it completely stupid.

“Only when one is hellbent on world domination.”

“I’m only a little bent.”

“My mistake, Agent Romanoff.” His damned AI project sounds amused. Has sass. She’s frustrated with how good he makes things. She doesn’t understand how he does that.

Tony’s in his lab. He has on an old tank top, eating a smoothie and gagging because “Kale? You put kale in this, Dum-E? God, I bet you got that from your mother, Rhodey-dear--”

“Bike. Where is it.”

Tony looks up, posture straightening as he takes in the sight of Romanoff.

“Looking good. I see you kept the top down.”

“You might have a speeding ticket.”

“I swear if you sped by the police station and they find out--”

“You’ll be proud of me?” she cuts in, smirking. He’s getting up off the couch, going to the actual garage area. He throws open the door, revealing the bike with some new parts and a brand new kickstand.

“I don’t know what you heroes do to your bikes, but your tires were about to give out,” Tony says.

“Don’t forget you’re a hero too,” she reminds him. There’s a look on his face as he looks towards her that says he’d forgotten.

Her bike runs like it was made for just that. Like she could go anywhere, even though she just got back.

After that, she pays a lot of attention to Tony Stark.

He has an annoying attention to detail. Everything has to be exact, everything has to be according to what will happen in the future or even as it’s going on.

“Because he took architecture classes,” Rhodey says. “Bunch of annoying people, but they’re damned good at perfecting everything. As long as it functions, engineers call it good.”

She starts finding Tony in her quiet haunts, the kind that leave a bit more haunting behind each time until she has to face it.

They both realize that they’re not good enough to be heroes. So they’ve been pretending at it, but they also don’t know how to play pretend.

It’s a rather frustrating thing, then.

Natasha likes to be exact.

Emotions are the exact opposite of that, which is why she hates that her heart races and she wants to be imagining what it’s like to be in his arms, his hands tangling through her hair, and--

Look. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to imagine love and imagine smiles that aren’t meant for anyone else because...

Black Widows aren’t made for that. She’s not made for that. She’s meant for killing people, for being cold. To look at people and not form personal connections, to put hearts out for the taking for anyone else. She lets people fall in love with her, but she’s never done it herself.

And so she runs. Running away from problems is actually a feasible solutions. People just tell you that because they want you to stay. She remembers running in Russia away from people she thought she owed loyalty to. She ran from Clint, for a time.

But Tony’s different. Because it’s Tony who makes her laugh and who takes her to shitty diners so they can say dialogue from Pulp Fiction verbatim, and they annoy Sam and Bucky with their taste in music and the various quotes they pull from movies. It’s Tony who jokes around with her and asks about Russian movies and everything that she wasn’t supposed to know.

Her heart hammers in her chest as she imagines certain disaster, herself falling in a whole different way, but landing this time.

Falling in love--the concept and what people think of--doesn’t count landing. They never tell you that you have to land. Now, whether that’s on concrete or onto grass is not up to you. There are multiple exit strategies, but you either crush yourself or you roll and get back up.

So she doesn’t want to think about it, she doesn’t want to see him. Because there are the heady thoughts of it all, the ways she knows him and the way that she wants to know him.

For the first time, Black Widow is unsure of her power.

#black widow #iron man #tony stark #natasha romanoff #ironwidow #kind of?#lovelyirony writes #poor nat #i love them oka y

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flannelpunkcalum · 6 years

Text

WANT YOU BACK, TOO

“I-”

“The thing is-”

They both stop.

“You first.” Y/N says, thinking she's being polite, but Calum shakes his head.

“You know how I feel.”

I know you know I will never get over you

Y/N licks her lips. “Fair enough.”

(GOD sorry this took so long but it’s also literally 4 times longer than the original WHICH IS A LOT.

anyway they bone in this one.

8k words, smut, angst, and really cheesy descriptions of love.

read part one here)

Y/N usually tried to focus on the positive. If she was going into an exam, she focused on how prepared she was, how cunning she could be. If she was going to a job interview she imagined clicking with the employer immediately and getting hired on the spot. Maybe it helped the most positive outcome happen, she didn't know. That said, the second they were wheels up she started thinking about plane crashes. Fiery ones.

This was a mistake. She was en route to New York to see Calum for the first time in months and it was such a mistake.

Y/N didn't like to fuck up in the same way twice, which is why she stayed friends with her exes if they wanted, but never more. She never entertained the thought. And Calum - he had ruined her, a little. Before she had him she had always felt fine spending time on her own, but it had been weeks and she couldn't even watch Netflix without thinking about how much better it had been with him next to her.

Sometimes she thought that even the time she had spent furious at him was felt better anything she could do alone. They had broken up for a reason, but that was hard to remember at times like this, when she felt restless for him. He always said that she helped keep him sane in his crazy stupid rockstar world - she was starting to think that he had done the same for her.

The man in the seat next to her had settled down for a nap as soon as the flight attendants had finished their speech. Y/N had been ignoring him, but now she turned towards him and pretended he was Calum. If they were still together, where would they be going together, on the edge of winter?

Well, for one, she would be in business class.

It's easy to joke about it, but Y/N knows what comes next. When she starts to think about Calum and her, she can't turn her brain off until it's done. It's probably unhealthy.

Really, if they were still together, he would have flown her out the second she had a break from school to wherever he was in the world. He’d send a car for her, probably, have a driver waiting for her with a sign with her name on it. Maybe a snack in the car if he was feeling really considerate. He’d probably have something set up in his hotel room for when she got there, fancy candles at least, and champagne, the cheap kind, the kind she likes. Maybe he’d be busy and come in later, but if he was there would be lingerie laid out, she's sure, or that sweater that she likes but didn't steal. And she'd put that on and nothing else and she'd wait for him, because she’d be in love.

Y/N tries to get through the next part quick, like ripping off a bandaid.

He’d kiss the taste of champagne out of her mouth and they’d fuck like rabbits and order room service and and talk and fuck like rabbits again until they tired each other out and it would be good, like the last time, like every time.

That's what would happen if they were still together.

But they're not.

Y/N is trying not to get her expectations up. For anything. She knows there's gonna be a big serious conversation, and she's dreading that, but other than that… Jesus, she doesn’t do this. She doesn’t even know what she wants from this. She’s gonna be lost and confused and aching in New York.

Calum better fucking buy her tickets to MoMA or she’s rioting.

The seatbelt sign flicks back on all too soon. Y/N wishes she lived a little further away from New York right now, so she had more time to sort through her thoughts. She’d been putting it off for days now, trying not to ask herself if she wants something with Calum again. Now she wishes she had, so she wouldn’t be suffering on the plane next to some guy from the midwest.

Unfortunately, the plane doesn’t crash, and Y/N’s only brought a carry on so she doesn’t get to stall at the baggage carousel. She texts Calum as soon as she touches down, because - fuck him, honestly - he had been determined to come and pick her up this time. Maybe that's a little harsh. It's not that she doesn't want to see Calum, she does, she loves just hanging out with him, it's just- she doesn't know what he wants from this, from her. That sounds stupid since he wrote and recorded a song about how he wants to get back together, but she can't help it. He said she didn't have to make any promises, just to come and see what happens. That makes it sound like he wants something to happen, just doesn't give her a clue about what. Like, does he just want to hook up, or does he want to make it “official” and post about her on Instagram?

The thing is, she doesn’t know if anything’s changed since the last time. She’s still guarded. He is, too. He’s still living like a rockstar. She’s still living like a student. They’re both busy, and it frustrated them both so much when they didn’t get the time they wanted together, and then they’d rub each other raw and then they’d argue and then they’d fight, say things they didn’t mean.

And if that had been it, the breakup would have stuck and she wouldn’t be finding her way through Arrivals at JFK.

Here’s the thing, though; it had been wonderful. When they were good they were so, so good, like nothing she’d ever felt before. Holding Calum’s full attention was almost overwhelming. When he focused on you you felt it, like the sun on your skin, but it was all just coming from one golden boy. Y/N had never met someone who could make her feel like that. And yeah, they were both trying to protect themselves, but even guarded he was such a giver. He knew he was lucky, he had so much, and whenever she let him he’d share it with her. It had meant a lot to the both of them. They’d both said some pretty awful things to each other after a late night. Every time, though, Calum would give her these beautiful fucking apologies that made her feel human again. Y/N is a little scared that she won’t be able to feel whole in a relationship without that pretty chaos, just because of how good it felt to have him speak tenderly to her after a fight.

Still, Y/N needs to focus. “Can there be love without pain” is a question for some pretentious philosopher, not for her, and anyway if she’s not careful she’s gonna walk right on to a plane to El Salvador.

She had texted Calum as soon as they landed, to let him know she was making her way out, and now he texts her telling her where the car is waiting. It feels weird, to be talking to him again like nothing ever happened. For weeks she moved through the world itching to tell him about her day, and now that she has the chance she’s paralyzed, somehow. She’s making the effort, though; as she fights her way through the airport she sends him the lady across from me ob the plane took off her soes AND socks as soon as we took off im dying with one hand.

The car is a black Audi, and Y/N finds it after a few seconds standing in the grey New York afternoon. She tosses her carry on into the trunk (she doesn’t blame Calum for not wanting to come out) and takes a deep breath.

She opens the door to the backseat and sees him, and the rush of relief nearly kills her. When she goes to sit down on her side of the car, she’s already reaching out, and Calum catches hold of her and tugs her across the seats into his arms.

Fuck, she missed him.

“Hi,” she says.

She feels him press his face into her hair. “Hi,” he mumbles.

The car starts moving, and she pulls away to put her seatbelt on. She has to slide over so she’s not sitting in the middle. That would be weird, right? Adults don’t usually sit in the middle seat, no matter who their ex is.

Y/N has to stop overthinking this stuff.

“So. You ’n the boys seem like you’re doing well.” She says, smiling. She’s a little proud of them, even though she’s got no claim on ‘em anymore.

Calum ducks his head. “Yeah, the new single, it’s- we’re all really happy about it.”

“Well, you’re welcome.” She teases.

“Oh, right, yes, thank you for breaking my heart, very kind of you. How can ever I repay you, sweetheart?”

Y/N wants to pretend she doesn’t feel warm inside when he calls her that, but her toes curl in her shoes. “Well, a muffin basket would be a start.”

They’re both smiling at each other, and Y/N knows if things weren’t so fucking weird he would have kissed her.

He doesn’t, though.

Calum doesn’t talk much on the way to the hotel, asking her about herself and her classes as much as possible. It’s probably all the interviews he’s in, eventually all the questions feel the same, she’s sure. It can be hard to get him to talk.

It feels nice, though. Some parts of her want him back in her life, you know?

There’s only so much you can say about college, though, and as they get closer to the hotel they get back on even footing. “I haven’t been in New York since I was like, twelve. What are the cool spots? Is it still hip to go to the M&M's factory?” She asks as they start to stall in traffic. She’s not sure if she believes in that whole ‘crazy New York energy’ thing, but she does find anticipation rising in her as they get deeper into the city.

“I was gonna ask you what you wanted to do, actually. Like, we can do those touristy things if you want, I don’t mind. There’s a place that does this Macbeth show, it’s a hotel, and I know you like that shit, but if you want we can-”

Calum looks a little worried all of a sudden, so Y/N cuts him off. “Hey, I’m here for like a week, we’ll figure something out. Don’t stress. I’ve had like seventeen midterms in the last three days, so that plane ride was like a vacation in itself, my man.”

Calum smiles at that, but it’s not bright, not usual. “‘My man’? ‘S that where we’re at?”

Oh good. Relationship talks. Y/N had been really worried they wouldn’t get to that. Not that she wanted to ignore it, but- fuck. “I dunno. I haven’t seen you for a really long time, I don’t want to get ahead of myself.” She says finally, glancing at the Uber driver. Is Calum famous enough for it to be worth their while to tell a magazine about what they’re saying? Is that a thing?

“Yeah, no, I understand. It doesn’t - like, you’d tell me if me callin’ you sweetheart and all was bothering you, right?”

Calum’s literally a rockstar, he’s a confident fucking guy, but they’re both edgy all of a sudden. It’s like the first time they dated, only about a hundred times worse; instead of waiting to be kissed she thinks they’re both waiting for both their hearts to be broken. Y/N has to try to fix this (she fucked things up the first time around, it’s only fair), so she makes a joke. It’s what she does. “Oh, Calum, if it was bothering me I would be in another Uber right now. I actually would have called an Uber to this Uber and like - on the bridge, I would have jumped to the other car - it would have looked really badass.”

Calum laughs politely, and she can breathe easier, but things still feel out of alignment.

It doesn’t take too long for them to get to the hotel after that. Calum directs the driver to the back door, by the dumpsters. He beats her to the trunk, grabbing her bag before she gets the chance. “I can get it.” She insists, but he’s already got it slung over his shoulder. “You haven’t seen me for ages, I’m really buff now.”

“I know you can, ‘m just not gonna let you.” Calum says, distinctly smug.

Y/N does her best pout, but here’s the deal; she goes fucking weak at the knees when Calum takes care of her. “You’re a tyrant.” She says, following him up a set of stairs, where he unlocks a door.

“That’s right.” Calum waits for her to get inside and for the door to close behind her before he hip-checks her. It’s very considerate of him.

Maybe she should have thought about this before, but oh, shit. Where is she supposed to sleep?

Calum leads her into an elevator and presses a button for a very high floor, so her ears almost pop as they ascend. But they didn’t stop by the front desk, which means she’s staying in Calum’s room, and she’s willing to bet good money that it’s not a double.

And if she’s honest, she knows some guilty part of her is desperate for his touch again. She hadn’t expected to be back in her ex-boyfriend’s bed so soon, is all.

It’s like Calum can read her mind as he unlocks the door. “There’s only the one bed, but I cleared out one of the drawers if you want to unpack. I was hoping-” He drops his keys on the table, her bag on the floor, and turns to her. “I was hoping we could share. I know we’re - we’re broken up, but I think I sleep better with you next to me.”

Y/N wants to sleep with Calum again. That’s not the issue. If it was just about being in his arms, curling up on his chest and letting him keep her warm, then fuck, yeah, she would already be in her pjs. She just doesn’t want to walk into something that destroys her, and she thinks if she gets back into the same mess she had with him she’ll get cut to ribbons by their sharp edges. “I-” She starts, and then she stops herself. She wants to do this right. “We should have our weird relationship talk first. Right? I like you, Calum, you know I do, but I can’t- we can’t hurt each other again, you know?”

“Yeah,” Calum says, too quickly. “Yeah, of course. You want me to order room service first, or-”

Y/N didn’t get much of a lunch on the plane, but all of a sudden she’s got no appetite. “Not for me, thanks.”

“Alright.” Calum says, shifting his weight. He leads Y/N into the living room, gestures for her to sit on the couch. She goes for the armrest, and he stays standing, running a hand through his hair. Even their positioning is awkward.

“I-”

“The thing is-”

They both stop.

“You first.” Y/N says, thinking she's being polite, but Calum shakes his head.

“You know how I feel.”

I know you know I will never get over you

Y/N licks her lips. “Fair enough.” She agrees. Fuck. She thought of a million ways to say this since their phone call, but now that he's here- she doesn't want to hurt him, and that's all she really knows. “Obviously, I'm here in New York, I want to see you. I miss you. And I think I still have-” She can't say she still has feelings for him. It's too ugly, too cliché. “-um, I miss you.” She repeats instead. Calum doesn't move. “But when we broke up it was the right thing to do, you know? We hurt each other a lot. And I don't know if I’ve changed.”

“I mean, you said you got super buff, so...” Calum grins, though it looks stiff.

Y/N laughs a little, just for him. “I'm super buff now, I could bench press a car, but I don't know if I can do long distance right. You know? It’s not- Cal, it's not a hard no,” she says quickly, because he looks agonized. Well, and she means it. “I just don't know what's different. I can’t go through that again.”

Calum is quiet for a long moment, which makes Y/N feel even worse. Is this whole week gonna be like this? “I get it.” He says, after a long moment.

Something inside Y/N breaks. She had hoped that Calum had met her here with a plan (or at least some really expensive lingerie) to get her back, to make them work. Songs can make empty promises, after all, and that's what she had been scared of - that he’d say that he’d do anything for her and then do anything but change. She misses him, enough to say it out loud, misses his touch and his laugh and that goofy fucking smile you have to earn from him. If he decides there’s no hope for them, is he gonna kick her out? Of his life, or- oh, shit, of his suite. He wouldn’t, she knows, but she doesn’t really have the money right now to stay-

“I read Macbeth.”

Y/N’s head jerks up from where she was staring at the carpet. “What?”

“I, uh, read Macbeth. The whole thing. And Einstein’s Dreams, you know- ‘bout a month or two ago I went through all our conversations and I read all the articles and books you said I should read but I didn't. I should have told you-”

“I knew you weren't reading those. It's okay, really.” Y/N says. She's not mad. She had been mad about it when they broke up, but now it's just shitty and she's over it. Their relationship didn't fall apart because he wasn't reading enough Shakespeare, that was for sure.

Calum smiles stiffly. “No, it's not. Those were good books, but when I was trying to read them they reminded me how smart and… and dimensional you are. I think, while we were together, I let myself forget. I should have been better to you. Y/N, I was falling in love with you, and I hate myself because I didn’t show you. I let you walk away.”

Her heart spasms, but he looks so sad when he says it. She can’t let that happen. “We both made mistakes-” Y/N starts.

“No.” Calum says, stepping forwards to stop her. “No. I mean, you said some mean shit, but only after I ignored you and brushed you off for weeks. I deserved it. Most of what you said was true, anyway, I was bein’ a- what was it you said? A bratty little shithead.” Y/N isn't proud of that. “Anyway, it was true. We had some bad fucking days, and the make-up sex was fun and all, but I’m willing to give that up to have you stay in my life.”

“You’re a martyr.” Y/N can’t help but tease. What he said in the car comes back to her; did she really break his heart? Calum looks miserable, even though he smiles at her joke.

“Yeah, well,” he says. “I think I was scared, before. I am- I was falling in love with you, and I didn’t want - well,” he gestures at their positions. She’s still sitting on the armrest like a bird on a wire, he’s just within arm’s reach. It’s a terrible distance.

She hadn’t wanted this, either.

Calum runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath before he continues. “I think maybe that’s why I was so shitty. I know that’s not an excuse,” He says, before she can say anything. “I’m trying to be better. I am. I want to read the books you’re passionate about and listen to the music you love and kiss you on the cheek in every picture we’re in. I just- tell me what I have to do for you to give me another chance.”

So that’s it. The ball is all the way in her court.

Y/N looks up at him for a long moment.

She knows what she wants. If love is like the ocean, she would choose to drown for him. She wants him back again. It seems simple, when she puts it that way, frames it as what she wants. But she was always the sensible one. She won’t let herself hurt him like that again. She doesn’t want to break his heart - not more than she already has.

“Let’s just- let’s just have this week.” She says, carefully. Like the ceiling might cave in. “Seven days can be a long time. Let’s just do what we want for one fucking week and see where it leaves us at the end. I- Calum, I’m bad at this, but you know… you know what you mean to me. Love is a verb, you know? Let’s just do what feels right. And I’m not trying to say I -” She rushes to add (she didn’t miss the way his body jolted) “-like, you know, the “L” word, I know that it’s not the time. I just-”

“Does that mean I can kiss you?”

Y/N blinks. Stands. “Yes.”

She had braced herself for him to kiss her like a starving man, but he reaches out and cups her face in both hands, fingers cool and dry. He keeps his eyes open as he leans in, searching hers until they’re too close to see anything.

Then their lips meet like sun meets rain.

Calum kisses her like slowly as she winds her fingers into his hair, like she’s made of glass, like she’s made of sugar. He doesn’t move his hands until she pulls her own body closer to his, and then he feels his way to her waist to keep her there. The gentle drag of their open mouths floods her body with warmth for what feels like the first time in fucking weeks.

It must not be long before they pull apart, but Y/N feels breathless.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Calum says, and this time when he pulls her in there’s real heat behind it. His tongue presses into her mouth with intent, and for once she lets him direct the kiss to show her just how goddamn much he missed her. She wants this so much her body aches when he pulls away again. “I’m gonna be so good to you, promise, I-”

Y/N cuts him off with her mouth on his. Promises make her nervous, but more importantly, Calum kisses like he did before they split and she missed that. It feels like she’s blushing over her whole body - almost like a kid, only there’s nothing innocent about what she wants to do with him.

Maybe she shouldn’t, but… all they have is a week. Maybe not even that. And fuck it, she wants to do love.

She stands on her tiptoes, pressing a little harder against him. She wants to direct this, but Calum pulls away again. He’s panting. They both are.

“We can start over, baby.” He says. “I’m just- I’m so happy to have you back.”

He’s still cupping her face, but he doesn’t pull her back in, and she takes that chance to speak. “We can’t do that.” She says, but she has to hurry to continue because she sees the fear that flashes across Calum’s face. “I mean- if we start over this is technically our first date, and I don’t fuck on the first date.”

She grins, but Calum doesn’t. All of a sudden he’s unreadable. Did she say something wrong? Already? She can feel his grip change on her hips, like he’s thinking about letting go. Her fingers relax in his hair, in case he pulls away, so she doesn’t hurt him-

He tosses her over his shoulder before she knows what’s happening, and then she is gleefully upside-down with his hand on her ass keeping her steady. She can see her bag on the bedroom floor as they pass by it, anticipation rising in her stomach.

God, she was trying to be cool, but he is so, so, so sexy she could spontaneously combust.

She only has a moment to take it in before he stops, and then she’s head-over-heels again until her back hits the bed. Before she can get her bearings back, Calum’s climbed his way back on top of her and is brushing the hair out of the way for another kiss. He’s not shy; there’s no air between them, his chest pressed hard against hers. One elbow is planted by her head, holding him up, and the other is running down her ribs, pawing at the hem of her shirt. She can feel him smiling against her lips before he pulls away. “You couldn’t wait five fucking minutes, could you?” He says, but she can hear that he’s teasing and anyway the way he’s trying to ease her shirt off says more than enough.

His lips go to her neck, so she can feel his stubble as he lays kisses down, looking for a weak spot. “I’m sorry, did you carry me to your bed like a caveman for something else? You didn’t wait five seconds.” She jokes. Her breath hitches as he moves a little lower, closer to her collarbone. He always finds those spots. It would be a curse if it didn’t feel so good.

Calum knows it, too. “What did you say?” When she starts to respond he bites down, just enough to make her squirm and snap her mouth shut before she can fucking squeal. He’s still playful, she can feel his lips moving against her skin when he says, “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“Shut up,” she manages, and swats him on the shoulder.

He catches her wrist as she draws back, and pins it to the bed right next to her head. She doesn’t miss the way the muscles in his arm flex to hold her down.They're both breathing shallowly; Calum’s close enough that she can feel his chest rise and fall just like hers. Y/N feels a little lightheaded, all of a sudden. When he leans in and kisses her again, it's less playful, there's real heat behind it. He kisses her deeper, and she parts her lips to let him, this time. He draws back, and rest his forehead against hers. They're close enough that their breath mingles between them.

They've both still got their clothes on, but this feels like the most intimate she's ever been with Calum. Neither of them speak for a long moment. His brown eyes lock with hers, and he is beautiful but she feels that gaze low in her belly. One of his hand is still on her ribs, but he's not pawing at her shirt anymore, just smoothing his thumb over her side like he can't stop touching her. She wants to kiss him again, but she can't bring herself to ruin this moment.

Eventually Calum huffs out a breath - was that a sigh? - and lets go of her wrist to haul her shirt over her head with both hands. Immediately, Y/N’s hands go to her back to undo her bra clasp. Calum helps slip her bra off her arms and doesn't waste a second throwing it into some corner of the hotel room before he’s back on her, kissing along the side of her neck and down her chest. It feels /good/ as his steady hands find her breasts, grasping at them firm enough for her to really feel it. He’s still kissing a path downwards, pausing to unbuckle her belt. Y/N plants her feet and lets Cal drag her jeans and panties off, but it feels wrong, her being all undressed while he’s still wearing his t-shirt.

As soon as she sits up to tear that damn thing off him, Calum grabs her hands and laces them with his, pressing them down to the mattress. “Baby,” he murmurs, “I wanna focus on you, tonight, please. Let me show you how much I missed you.”

Calum's great in bed, she's not gonna deny it, but it's not what makes her quiet. He means that. He's an intense guy, but she's never seen his dark eyes like this, like he can see right through her. She has to take a deep breath.

“Please.” She says.

Calum grins at that, and lets go of her hands to press her thighs apart.

Y/N sits back on her elbows, because Calum eating her out is a hell of a view, but that's not what he does. Once he has her legs spread he starts to kiss the inside of her thigh, so fucking close to where she needs him. She thinks he's just trying to tease, but then he starts kissing with intent, nipping and sucking like he's… he's trying to mark her up. He'd never done that before, although whether it was from trying to avoid paps or just class she wasn't sure. But this- it feels good, to see him kissing on her like it was his last day on earth. It's just very new.

“Cal, what’re you-” She starts to ask, but before she can finish he pulls off of her leg and licks a big stripe up her pussy, right up the middle, and her brain goes a little fuzzy. She moans softly, to let him know it feels good and to please keep going, but he goes back to working on her leg, lifting her knee to get a better angle. His tongue sweeps over her skin in a way that would feel so damn good just a few inches away, but when she tries to shift to direct him over, he just holds her leg a little firmer. “Jesus, don’t tease.”

Calum pulls away again and Y/N’s stomach swoops because his lips are glossy from playing with her. He almost looks smug. “From the way you’re dripping you don’t seem to mind, angel.” He says, and Y/N tries to look unaffected but she knows it’s not working. “I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, just let me take my time with you. Want every inch of you tonight. Trust me.” He adds.

Well, she’s not gonna argue with that.

Y/N goes back to resting on her elbows, toes curling in the sheets as Calum goes back to dragging his teeth over her thigh. The spot’s starting to get a warm little ache, but the way he looks at it when he pulls away goes all the way through her. It’s just for a second, but she feels his grip relax, like he doesn’t have to hold her so tight now that he’s got a mark on her. Maybe that’s exactly what he’s thinking, too. He presses a quick peck to the red spot, and reaches up to play with her nipple as a reward. /Nice/. She shifts a little in his grip, she can’t help it.

“You like that?” Calum grins.

“Fuck,” she moans, despite herself. His other hand is still holding her leg open for him and he’s so fucking close to where she needs him but he’s not biting. She knows from experience he wants her to beg, but she’s not ready to play, not quite yet. She might be lying back for him, but she can still do a little teasing of her own. “You got anything else planned?”

Calum smirks a little more at that, somehow, and lets go of her completely to sit back on his ankles. Y/N’s body shifts to follow him, unconsciously. “You know I do.” He says, pulling off his shirt. /Fuck/, was he always this built or was this new? His skin is intoxicating. “Like I said, I’m gonna take my time. You gonna be good for me?”

“Aren’t I always?”

Calum looks up briefly from where he’s undoing his belt. “No. That’s why I fell in love with you.”

Before she can even start to process that, he’s fumbled his belt off and presses in to kiss her, catching one of her hands in his and steadying her at the waist. “You know,” he gasps in between kisses, “‘thought so many times about what I was gonna do to you once I got you back, don’t even know where to start. So much I wanna do to you.” He laughs. “And with you, I guess. But right now-” He starts to kiss down her neck again, gently.

She doesn’t mean to say it, but- “I want you to fuck me.”

“Gimmie time, angel,” He smiles as he pulls away.

“No, now, please, Cal, I’m so ready for you.” Y/N urges, and when he pauses she runs his hand, in hers, down her body to where she’s warm and aching for him.

Calum’s eyebrows crease. Not a lot, but even in her haze she can tell. “Baby, wanna make you feel good first, get you-” As he lets go to feel her up, he presses two fingers inside her, easy. She’s soaking. She can feel it, and she sees in his face he can too. “...shit.”

“Please.” She says again, and Calum’s face goes a little soft. She knows he loves it when she goes all quiet and nice, just for him, and she’s glad because she doesn’t want to wait. She wants- twenty minutes ago she didn’t know what she wanted but now she knows she wants him in her, looking into her eyes, she wants to watch him cum and flop down next to her and smile and pull her back into his arms. She wants to do love. She wants it with him.

Calum kisses her once, quickly. “Whatever you want.” It sounds like a promise but it doesn’t scare her, not this time.

Pants. Socks. They’re gone in a second and Calum is ready, cock hardening in his hand as he fumbles for a condom the bedside table. Y/N sits up too as he find one, to help him roll it on.

Well, he couldn’t sit there looking so beautiful and serious about making love to her and expect her to keep her hands off him. He tries though, using one hand at her waist to lay her back down. “Missed you.” She says to his dick as her back hits the pillows, and Calum chuckles above her.

She tries not to feel like it’s life changing, as he lines himself up with her, but it is. He’s still smiling as he pushes into her, and she can see it change into something /else/ as he starts to bottom out. Y/N is suddenly overwhelmed with how lucky she is that this man, smart and great and terrible, he saves this for her. At the same time she can feel him filling her like he used to, and her fingernails dig into his shoulders. When he groans, he sounds like music.

Fuck.

They stay that way for a moment, like they’re locked together. Y/N cups his face with one hand. She likes the way her fingers look on his cheekbone, her thumb on his jaw, like maybe she could keep him this time if she held tight.

She really had missed him.

He starts to move and it’s like she’s come back to life. It’s winter outside but her body feels like spring, and she reaches for him. Even hikes one leg up around her waist, and moans as it sends heat crackling through her body. Calum’s forehead rests on hers again. His nose is crinkled up, eyes closed, and he’s doing this sweet little groan every time he bottoms out. It’s just as intoxicating as the songs he wrote her, getting to see him like this. Only him- only her- fuck.

She’s close. She doesn’t know how, but she can feel her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach. No one-night stand compares, no other ex. Calum’s arms seem to be everywhere, and the motion of him- “Fuck, Calum,” and she’s not proud on the way her voice breaks but he leans in to kiss her again so it’s worth it.

He shifts his body just a little and suddenly his motion brushes her clit and she feels that shit in her toes. “Shit, baby, there, there, there-” The only thing that stops her begging is that he starts to fuck into her harder. She has to focus on breathing; it’s like he’s fucking the air right out of her lungs. His pace is still slow, still steady, but he’s making sure she feels every inch of him.

Y/N’s not stupid, she knows saying “I love you” during sex doesn’t count. But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

It’s scary. But as Calum grabs her waist, bumping his lips with hers, it feels right. Better. “So good, angel,” he says. Does he feel it, too?

The way he’s loving her is relentless. She’s starting to get close, record time, but as Calum suddenly stills and ducks his head down to kiss her, she can tell he’s almost there. She’s still cradling his face, and she gently tugs his lips away from hers. “Calum, I’m really close, I-”

“Don’t wanna wait, do you, baby?” He teases- or tries to. But he’s panting too hard for him to play cool.

She shakes her head. “Waited three months.” The weight and width of him isn’t enough; she’s about thirty seconds from trying to wrestle him over onto his back and taking over.

Calum huffs out a breath above her and smiles, ducking back down to kiss her. Yes. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty.” He says, but there’s no heat behind it. His eyes are crinkly as he kisses her quickly, and then while her eyes are still closed he tucks his face into the crook of her neck and starts to move again.

She always liked the way he’d hold to keep them close. Like two halves of a locket. This time, though, she’s practically got herself wrapped around him, with her leg around his waist, one hand in his hair, one hand on his bicep to keep anchored (and, wow, he has not been skipping arm day). He feels like fire around her, all warm skin and hot breath on her shoulder, and it’s kindling something inside her, too.

It’s like the unbearable tension of three months apart is threatening to overtake her, along with the beautiful ache of Calum inside her and the way he keeps brushing her clit with every stroke- it’s a lot, and Cal groans as she catches hold of his curls. She needs something to keep her steady. “Come on, baby,” he says, in between gasps of his own.

She’s close, she’s so, so close, and she hauls Calum’s head up by the hair and kisses him and closes her eyes and it hits her like a fucking tsunami. He keeps kissing her as her mouth falls open and she ruts her hips up into his, fast, and he speeds up in response- all she can do is feel the way his cock sends waves through her and hang on for dear life. With a groan, he pushes deep into her and stays there and she can feel him cumming, doing tiny little bucks of his hips that make her whimper as her own high starts to fade.

Eventually Calum settles in her arms, and she releases her hold on his hair. When she opens her eyes, he’s resting his forehead on hers, catching his breath.

He looks really fucking good like this.

He’s resting most of his weight on his elbows, but before she can untangle her leg from him he pulls her into his chest and rolls over so he’s on his back. His cock is still buried deep in her, and as she squirms a little he tosses a second arm around her. “Stay.” He murmurs, and although Y/N hadn’t been planning on going far she settles.

Calum looks fucked out, sweat beading like diamonds on his brow. His eyes are half open, like he’s gotta keep watch on her, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. All the hard, worried lines she had caused in his face have softened, and it feels like she might have done good by him for once.

...it had been really good sex, but maybe that was reading too much into it.

She tries to press herself up, to see him better, but as soon as Calum feels her movement he shakes his head. “You should save your energy, love.” His words rumble through his chest.

Y/N smiles. “You got big plans, Hood?”

“You didn’t let me take my time, remember?” He smiles back. She can hear it in his voice. “I’ve got a lot more to do to you before I let you out of this bed.”

She smiles at that. Fuck like rabbits, check. There’s still something bothering her, though. An aching in her inner thigh that won’t let her rest. “Cal?” She asks, after one more second of stillness. “Can I ask you why you had to make a love bite on my thigh?”

She can feel him tense up under her, and nerves pool in her stomach. Was that bad? They can’t have fucked this up already, can they? “I just… yeah. Um,” Calum starts, after a long second. “I realized after you left that I, uh, never got to leave any on you before and I needed to do it before I lost you again. I put it somewhere out of the way. Somewhere I’d be the only one to see it. Or… I don’t want to be jealous with you but if there’s someone else I want them to see it and know that there’s someone who…” Calum rushes. Y/N peeks up and sees that his eyes are shut tight, face aimed up at the ceiling. “...who cares so much for you.”

Y/N doesn’t know what to say. She presses a gentle kiss to Calum’s chest while she tries to think, but she can’t follow any of that up with sweet words. “‘M gonna leave a hickey on your dick.” She says, after a long moment, and Calum laughs underneath her.

It feels right.

“Is that even possible?”

“Only one way to find out.” Y/N grins. “Hey, if I suck your dick will you take me to the aquarium tomorrow?”

“Only one way to find out.” He says. “Just… in a minute, okay? Lemme hold you.”

Calum’s going soft inside her as she snuggles a little closer into his arms. The future’s unclear, but one thing’s for sure; it feels really fucking good to be back.

#i did it!!!!#here she is #like eight months late but she's done!!#want you back #calum hood smut #calum hood x reader #calum hood angst #i forget how to tag things #ch smut #ch #ch writings #my writing #ch series #calum hood series

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true-halloween-tales · 7 years

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2017: #2-WITCHES

Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone Days and nights has thirty-one Swelter’d venom sleeping got, Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

- Macbeth.

It is now time to get to the bottom of the topic of witches - but we are staying away from witches’ bottoms! Once the topic of witches is raised, the cauldron of creepiness starts bubbling out witches all over the place. The Wicked Witch of the West is the archetypical witch, with the long pointy nose, green skin, black clothing, and conical witch hat. There were other Oz witches such as Glinda the Good Witch. Long before Oz, Greek mythology provided Medea and Circe. In Jason and the Argonauts, Medea mainly made potions and then ran off with Jason. Homer’s Odyssey had Circe trapped on an island turning sailors into pigs. The Middle Ages bubbled up Morgan Le Fay in the King Arthur legend. Shakespeare wrote famous plays with witches, such as in Macbeth. Witches were also featured in quite a few fairy tales. The Brothers Grimm’s Hansel and Grettel is perhaps the most famous witchy fairy tale. Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and the Margarita includes witches and the Devil galavanting with glee in Russia. Lloyd Alexander’s The Black Cauldron features the three witches of Orwen, Orgoch, and Ordxu who are actually helpful. Fritz Leiber wrote of witches in his novels, Conjure Wife and Our Lady of Darkness. Anne Rice wrote a three-book series, the Lives of the Mayfair Witches. But beyond literature, witches are also bubbling up in film.

I Married a Witch was a 1942 comedy, but 1960’s Black Sunday is horror. 1962’s Burn, Witch, Burn was based on Leiber’s Conjure Wife. Vincent Price hunted witches in The Conqueror Worm, but he was the villain persecuting the innocent. Christopher Lee was voodoo-dolled by his witch daughter in The House That Dripped Blood (see 2018: #1-GREAT HORROR FILM ACTORS). Rosemary’s Baby delivered us a delightfully witchy Ruth Gorden. The Witches of Eastwick had three witches summoning the Devil, Jack Nicholson. The Blair Witch has almost appeared in three films and probably has the greatest name recognition for a witch in popular culture. Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell was about a witch’s curse. Even Marvel superhero films have included the Scarlet Witch (see 2017: #10-SUPERHEROES). Witches bubble up in the cauldron of creepiness beyond film and into television programs.

The Addams Family includes the witches of Grandmama as well as that of Morticia. Lara Parker portrayed the regular witch character, Angelique, in the original Dark Shadows tv series (see 2016: #7-GUIDE TO DARK SHADOWS). A few years later she played a witch in Dark Shadows’ creator, Dan Curtis’ other cult horror tv series, The Night Stalker, in the episode, The Trevi Collection (see 2015: #5-GUIDE TO THE NIGHT STALKER). There was a comedy tv series with witches, Bewitched, including the witches Samantha and Aunt Haggadah. Witches have made appearances in Doctor Who in the episodes, The Daemons and The Shakespeare Code which offers witches Mother Bloodtide and Mother Doomfinger (see 2018: #2-GUIDE TO DOCTOR WHO). The three-season series, Penny Dreadful, centered around the witch Vanessa Ives who was well-played by Eva Green. American Horror Story had an entire season, Coven, about witches and introduced us to such noteworthy witches as Cordelia Foxx and Misty Day; the Roanoke season featured Lady Gaga as the primal witch Scathach. Most recently, Game of Thrones has included the child-sacrificing witch Melisandre, the red priestess, who resurrected Jon Snow. Men can also be witches as seen with Lafayette in the True Blood series. There are even cartoon witches such as Winnie the Witch, Popeye’s watery Sea Hag, and there is Broomhilda from the Chicago Tribune comic strip. They are also in video games such as in the Dark Souls series with Karla the Witch and the fiery half-spider, half-woman, Chaos Witch Quelagg. The cauldron of creepiness overfloweth with a bevy of witches!

What sort of classifications can witches be put into to better understand them? Dungeons & Dragons is a good resource for monster listings and the game includes: Sea Hags, Night Hags, and Annis. There are evil black witches and white good witches, even neutral gray witches. Most witches are alchemists and make potions. Some witches have additional specialization of their magical ability, such as with Circe polymorphing people into pigs. There are solitary witches in comparison to covens of witches. But there are not too many classifications of witches. Desert dwelling witches are certainly not sandwitches, hold the mayo! The term, death hag, is not a classification of witch, but is a type of person who morbidly goes to cemeteries, reads obituaries, and indulges in other death-related past-times. What best distinguishes witches is what they do.

What do witches do? Witches tend to have the same goals and activities in mind. They primarily stand over their large cauldrons cooking up hideous magical stews and potions; in a way, they are pharmacists. The common crazy concoction they cook up consists of children and babies; few witches are vegetarians. Witches are often known to lure children, catch them, cook them, and eat them. Otherwise, they have to go to “witches supermarkets,” cemeteries, and dig up dead children. Witches cannibalistic proclivities primarily exist so they can make themselves younger. Witches are often very old. To make themselves either appear younger or actually physically become younger are their goals. This is seen with the famous illusion of the Young Lady or Old Hag. Witches deeply need to appear young and innocent, and they particularly enjoy the deceit of helping witch finders. In The Blair Witch Project, no physical form of the Witch is ever seen. However, early in the film, an eccentric town local, Mary Brown, is interviewed who very much looks like a witch as well as having interests and educational degrees beyond her age. I have always thought Mary Brown to be the normal human appearance of The Blair Witch. Witches also fly on brooms, often coating the broomstick or themselves wth a greasy oil they make from the fat of cooked children. Witches enjoy staying out late at night, generally doing evil things, and they hang out with the Devil and his minions. Midnight is known as the Witching Hour. Witches often summon up horrible things from beyond as well as have familiars reporting to them, usually in the form of black cats. They cast spells and excel in black magic. Witches often seem to feed off of fear itself, as seen in the Blair Witch films with wooden x-shapes that are left about decorating the forest to terrify the victims (see 2017: #1-THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HORROR).

Which are the most well known, supposedly real, witches? Folk tales do provide us with three well known witches. Baba Yaga comes from Russia, first written about in 1755. She was the typical old grandmotherly witch who created a hut that walked around on large chicken feet. She could be harmful or helpful, but was rumored to have a nasty nose. Black Annis is a witch rumored to live in a cave near Leichestershire, England since the Middle Ages (see 2011: #8-MONSTERS ON THE LOOSE 3). Black Annis is certainly less friendly than Baba Yaga since she is known to use her iron talons to grab children and devour them, later wearing their skins around her waist since she doesn’t shop at Versace. The Witch of Endor is not some witch from a Star Wars film ruling over the moon of the Ewok teddy bear people. The Witch of Endor is from the Book of Samuel from The Bible. She sees spirits rising from the ground and is a helpful and friendly witch…from The Bible?

Which is the most powerful fictional witch? Circe was either the daughter of Helios, the sun god or Hecate, the goddess of witchcraft. That would make her at least half divine, yet she was outwitted by Odysseus. The Graeae are a trio of divine witches from Greek mythology and are related to Medusa (see 2013: #2-MEDUSAS). However, the Graeae are old and share one eye, so they are handicapped. The Graeae is what inspires trios of old witches appearing in fiction such as in Macbeth. The Blair Witch certainly makes the top three since it is said to have killed more than ten people, often in rather groody and gory ways. 2015’s The Blair Witch showed the form of the Blair Witch if you freeze-framed the movie. It was very tall, thin, mostly naked, with stringy black hair and impossibly long arms and legs. Probably the monster form of Mary Brown. The Blair Witch clearly has little helpers or familiars, and it may have illusionary, hallucinatory, and mind altering abilities. It demonstrates an ability of manipulating time unlike any other witch. The Blair Witch may be the most powerful witch we have almost seen. But flying monkeys sure are cool.

In history were there really witches? No. Not at all. Old women who were sick were persecuted, tortured, and killed. It was an issue of people with bad brains contaminated with superstition and steeped in stupidity blaming others for their mishaps. Then those who were insanely religious moved into to glorify themselves while they tortured, oppressed, and killed others. Witch hunting clearly involved oppression of women, the mentally ill, and included the persecution of sexual deviancy. They fueled their witch hunting by believing that witches were going to unleash the Devil and bring about the Apocalypse. Books were written providing instructions on witch hunting, with the most well known book being the Malleus Maleficarum (The Hammer of Witches) from 1486. “Early modern artistic representations of witches articulated and perpetuated beliefs about witch’s bodies, emphasizing their diabolical power and moral weakness. The typical witch was depicted as old, and often naked (to display her sagging breasts, a sign of depleted and supposedly repellent femininity), with flying hair (a code for errant and uncontrolled sexuality). The cauldron—itself a perversion of female domesticity— also connoted a powerful, almost volcanic vagina (The Encyclopedia of Witches, p 132).”

What are the best witch films to watch for Halloween? The most recent critically successful film release was 2015’s realistic, The Witch. Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem is quite good. The Masters of Horror tv series episode, The Dream in the Witchhouse, is a particularly good and chilling adaptation of an H.P. Lovecraft story. But the original The Blair Witch project is one of the best. There are three magical foreign witch films I recommend. Suspiria is Italian director, Dario Argento’s best film. It was released in 1977 and includes the peculiar Udo Kier and Joan Bennett from Dark Shadows (see 2016: #7-GUIDE TO DARK SHADOWS). Haxan is a 1922 Swedish documentary that was banned in the US; watch the version narrated by William S. Burroughs. It is a creepy cornucopia of dark witchy images. Viy is a 1967 Russian film worth seeking out about a young priest who must spend the night in a haunted church; the special effects are unique.

I first became aware of witches when I was very young because a witch appears on Gypsy Witch Fortune Playing Cards which my grandmother owned. Have I ever actually known a witch? Yes, I worked with her at a strange retail store many moons ago (see 2009: #11-THE DIABLERO, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBES). But lots of people call themselves witches these days, for lots of reasons. Witches have permeated our culture from literature, film, tv, even music. Mort Garson’s delightfully danceable, 1968 album, The Wozard of Iz, has all sorts of witchyness. The topic of witches is very much like the two sides of the moon. One side is dark, nonfiction, and is full of innocent people being tortured and killed thru witch hunts. But the other side is illuminated, really interesting and creative, made of fiction and with possibilities of Halloween costumes and spooky movies. Life is a witch, then you fly.

#blair witch #witch #Halloween #true halloween tales #viy #haxan #suspiria

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yellowcatcassette · 7 years

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Your Friend Who Doesn’t Hate You Somehow, Abalone

Dear Ham, So they found Emma’s body finally. It took three weeks, but the police got around to checking the woods twice. I have to say, dumping her body into the stream in the middle of the forest was rather clever. The murky water really did mess her up, although the woods was an obvious place to check. Personally, I think you could have taken it a step further and tied her to a rotting deer or something, to throw off her scent from the police dogs, but that's just my opinion.

By the time they found Emma, she was a disaster. It was revolting, seeing one of your friends’ bodies rotting away. I wasn't even supposed to see it, but I pushed my way past the officers anyway. The trauma I received from looking upon her decaying body will last about a good lifetime or so, you know how it is.

You probably knew that we would all figure out in the end. Otherwise you would still be here. But knowing you, you would have run away anyway. You are always so sensitive to guilt. After all, you're Honest Abe. But that’s a good thing. You’d disagree, but guilt keeps us sane.

It didn't take long for the blame to land on you since you obviously hated Emma so much. You were especially verbal about it when she stole your pocket knife the day before. I get that you hated her, but was it necessary to call her a whore, all because of a crummy pocket knife? And as if that wasn't bad enough, you had to straight up kill her the next day. I sometimes wonder how you and her were apparently friends once, a long time ago.

I feel responsible somehow, like there was something I could have done. This past year I saw everything slowly changing for the worse. I could have helped you somehow. Maybe both you and Emma would still be around if I did.

Alfred was the first to suggest that you did it, and at first we all were too scared to even think such a thing. Everyone but Caroline gave up on trying to deny it in a short amount of time. Caroline has been hoping for the best even after all the evidence found, but I think now she’s finally coming to terms with the truth.

I’d also like to point out we saw that your web history included the Google search, “Where to hide dead body?” I actually laughed when we found that, I mean, how could you not?

Your parents are doing really bad. I remember how you always said things like, “They don't care about me at all.” That never was true at all. They're broken because of all of this.

You are worrying Marisol and Howie to death (Is it too soon? I couldn't resist, sorry) as well. Marisol is leaving for college in a month, so your recent disappearance is not making her move any easier. As for Howie, oh God, he really looked up to you, you know that? I can't stand to be around him anymore because I hate to catch him in these moments when there's tears billowing in his eyes. Those episodes happen so often. He said he doesn't care about you killing someone. He just doesn't want his big brother to end up in jail like your grandpa. Did you think of your family at all before all this?

You're famous, all over the news. Remember how we'd joke about you being on TV as a judge in Cupcake Wars? I’d rather watch you overly criticize flamboyant cupcakes and crush bakers’ dreams than see your school photo under the headline “Connecticut Teen Murders Fellow Student” or “Abraham Palomer Still Missing after Three Weeks.”

At school, literally everyone can't focus anymore, the students, or the teachers. With summer coming, we were all losing it anyway, but it became so much more difficult in the past weeks.

A lot for the girls in our grade hate you now, but that's not surprising. Emma was popular among them. But some of those idiots, you know who, are actually happy that you killed off Emma. I really hate those guys more than ever now. They're just so mean, always saying these terrible things about Emma and the rest of our friends and you and me. And even after she's dead and you're gone, they still say crap like nothing matters. To be honest, the things they say are more dreadful than murder.

As for the teachers, they refuse to give any attention to the situation. Mr. Can has completely forgotten about reading Macbeth after Emma died. Before we all laughed at all the death happening in the play. Two weeks ago, students were sobbing so hard when we reached this part where the son of Macduff died, and he was just a nameless minor character. We never continued reading after that, and the entire story was ripped from the final.

Mrs. Daniels was teaching us about the laws regarding murder in class the day after you left. She was obviously forcing herself to teach that stuff, so that lecture was probably coincidentally in her lesson plan. It was unfortunate timing, but that class made me realize that as much as I want you to come back, I still won't see you much if you did. You'd be in so much trouble, what with the laws and certain people wanting you dead. Every now and then a small side of me would think that maybe you'd be better off not coming back, but then the majority of me would want to see you again more than ever.

That's right, I want you to come back. As for the others, Alfred is devastated about Emma. I’d like to think that he doesn't hate you now, but that seems very likely. Jason is also, of course, upset about everything that happened. Yet I think he'd like to see you again too. Caroline isn't speaking at all now. You know how she wasn't much of a talkative person before, but I haven't heard her speak at all since you killed Emma. That's understandable, though. One of her best friends is dead and the other ran away. I can't imagine that pain. She knows both you and Emma better than I do.

I only really knew you for what, a little over a year now? I would have never thought that in a year, life would become rather hellish. It makes me want to turn back time so this would never happen.

The one thing I know for sure about you is that even if you ran away, you'd always be back at Baskin Robbins for National Ice Cream Day. You said you've been there every July 17 for the past ten consecutive years. And you'd always order your favorite flavor, nutty coconut. I still remember when I joined you guys for National Ice Cream Day from last year. Oh, the infamy. You went crazy when they ran out of that disgusting flavor before we arrived. But that was a happier time. Now I can't help but feel sickly nostalgic. I hate the taste of nostalgia more than nutty coconut ice cream.

July 17 is 27 days away from the day I am writing this. This year I’m planning on going with only Caroline and Jason. The three of us will be staying in Baskin Robbins the entire time the place is open, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.You once swore that you’d only miss National Ice Cream Day when you’re dead. If you don’t show up between those hours, we will seriously assume the worst.

You'd think it’s a stupid plan, and I kinda agree, but it's all we got. You left your phone smashed in your bed sheets and there's so many other places you could be.

Because of that, I’m having trouble on debating where to leave this note so you can find it. If you’re reading this, that must mean wherever I decided to hide it must have been a great decision. Jason said that there’s a one in a million chance that you would even see this, let alone read through the entire thing, but I’ll still try for what it’s worth.

With all that said, I seriously miss you Ham. I don't know how everyone else feels, or do I even care, but I want you to come home. Please don't be afraid. I actually forgive you for everything. I was heartbroken at first, but staying heartbroken forever seems to be really boring. Whatever happens next, I'll always think of you as a great person and one of the best people I've ever met.

It's terrible and stupid of me, maybe, to still think that we could remain friends after this. I feel like I should actually hate you so much right now, but I don't. Despite everything, I refuse to think less of you. And you need help more than ever. These weeks have been rough, but I can imagine it has been hurting so much more for you. We’ll fix this mess together, I promise. I really hope you're still alive, otherwise this whole note is pointless.

But I’m determined nonetheless. I have to let you know that some of us love you still. Come home, Ham. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Your friend who doesn't hate you somehow, Abalone

P. S. Coconut and nuts shouldn't belong together, and definitely not in ice cream form.

P. S. S. If you're incarcerated when you return, I promise I'll bring you your dumb ice cream flavor on a waffle cone everyday.

P. P. S. S. If you don't want to come back, please at least take care of yourself. I don’t need more dead friends.

P. P. S. S. S. The last day of school is tomorrow. I thought you'd like to know.

P. P. P. S. S. S. I'm the one who stole your pocket knife.

I'm sorry. If there's anyone to blame, it's actually me.

#writing #short story #murder #yellowcatcassette

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spongebobsquarepiss · 6 years

Note

shakespearean asks (rip spelling)

thank u yuki ily!

A is for Ariel: Who does a lot of crud for Prospero. What is the most important thing you’ve ever done for a friend? What is the most important thing a friend did for you?

im honestly not sure what ive done thats important to a friend. my one of my friends told the counselor i was suicidal and i got the help i needed.

B is for Beatrice and Benedick: What is something you expected to suck but turned out really great?

My musical skills

C is for Caliban: Do you dislike being told what to do?

No im dumb and need guidance

D is for Dogberry: What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever done? Also: are you an ass? (PS: you’re as pretty a piece of flesh as any in Messina)

Honestly? i have no idea but two of my best friends make fun of me for saying listen too often and it cracks me tf up. And yes i am an ass on occasion

E is for Edmund and Edgar: Do you and your siblings get along (cuz these two sure don’t). If you don’t have siblings, pretend you do and answer.

i dont have any siblings but the closest i have is my best friend and we get along until one of us does something stupid and then we kill the other

F is for Friar Lawrence: What is the worst you’ve ever fucked up? Like hardcore “you done messed up”

Freshman year w my gf at the time, junior year same idea

G is for Ghost of King Hamlet: If you were to die and had one chance to talk to someone after death (so in ghost form), who would it be?

Tf if i know.

H is for Hamlet and Horatio: Are you a little gay with your best friend Who is your best friend in the world?

Y e s. Collin

I is for Iago: Have you ever done something mean or bad just because you can?

no?

J is for Julius Ceasar: What would you do first if you were put in charge of an empire

id give everyone food and water and a place to live

K is for Katherine: Can you not be tamed?

i probably can

L is for Lear: You have to write your will now. Who’s getting what?

God fuck ok. My instruments are going to collin. Kaities getting my books. Malcolm gets half of my pop culture shit, jj gets the other half. Yuki gets all my highlighters, washi tape, binders and japanese books uhh everything else? donno

M is for Macbeth: Have you ever been pressured into doing something you really really really don’t want to do?

yes

N is for Nurse: Do you know someone who’s always got your back?

yep

O is for Orsino: Do you generally like poetry? (sorry lame question)

Love poetry

P is for Puck: Best prank you ever played on someone?

ive never pulled a prank at least to my knowledge

Q is for Queen Gertrude: What is the worst thing you’ve ever tasted (and don’t say poisoned wine, if you’re answering questions it means you’re alive.)

i once had some chips that were three years too old to eat and it tasted like moldy cardboard and i puked on the spot

R is for Romeo: Do you fall in love quickly?

Too quickly

S is for Shylock: Do you tend to hold grudges?

Not really

T is for Titania: Do you fight for what you want or do you tend to be passive and give in?

Only when speaking about me being LGBT

U is for Ursula: Write a backstory for a minor character who you think deserves more

Honestly? i want a more in depth backstory for Aomine but i seriously dont want to get into it

V is for Viola: What gender do you define as?

male

W is for Watchmen: What is the most important thing you’ve ever been entrusted with?

My tuba

X is for PoliXenes (i tried, okay?): On a scale of 1-10 how ridiculous do you think “A Winter’s Tale” is (for better or for worse)?

8? i dont remember all that happens tbh

Y is for Yorick: Do you want everyone to remember you when you’re gone or are the people close to you enough?

i want to be remembered only by my close friends and those ive impacted

Z is for Zebsastian (Yes I know it’s spelled with an S be quiet I tried ok):What is the craziest thing you and your sibling ever did? (if you don’t have one talk about something you did with another family member or friend)

i dont think ive ever done anything super crazy so idk??? My life is pretty fucking boring

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thewidowstanton · 7 years

Text

Heidi Niemi, actor, Lumo Company

Heidi Niemi is a Finnish actor, based in London. She trained at the Finnish Theatre Institute, The Commedia School in Denmark, École Philippe Gaulier in France and at East 15 Acting School. Since moving to London in 2014 she has performed with John Hannah – “The highlight of my career. What a lovely bloke!” – and in The Titanic Orchestra at Pleasance Edinburgh. She then appeared in Dirty Bird, a new adaptation of The Seagull, at the Courtyard Theatre in London, and devised and performed Kick the Tin for the Sprint 16 Festival at Camden People’s Theatre.

Heidi is half of circus and physical theatre group, Lumo Company, with previous Widow interviewee Hanna Moisala. They recently toured UpsideDown, a contemporary circus show for schools in Finland that dealt with combatting bullying. Lumo Company is currently creating a new show, Lola, which earlier this year had a triumphant 20-minute work-in-progress outing at London's The Place, and was full of thrilling potential. Heidi's new show, MacBETTI, a funny one-woman take on Shakespeare's Macbeth, opens at London’s Camden People’s Theatre in May. Heidi chats to Adrian Arratoon. The Widow Stanton: Which part of Finland are you from? Heidi Niemi: I'm from Kuurika, a small town about 70km south west of Vaasa. And I lived in Tampere for almost 10 years. Were your parents performers? My dad is a singer. He sings in a band that plays a sort of tango and waltz. It's like a cross between pop and tango. Oh yes, tango is huge in Finland! There's a tango festival every year where they choose a tango queen and king, and that's really near my home town. When I was a kid my dad was away every weekend and maybe once a week, but he had his other job as well, as a salesman for farming equipment [laughs]. My sister, Anu, is an actor; she's been in a TV series for seven years; she's 10 years older than me and she's been acting for 20-25 years. She's going to come and direct MacBETTI. And my brother is a musician, in a band.

Can you remember the first time you appeared on stage in front of an audience? Let me think… it must have been when I was eight or nine. Every year in our school we did a Christmas play that we wrote ourselves and acted in. Normally it was called something like The Presents That Somebody Stole. One time, it was a very good part. I played a fake Santa who tried to take over Christmas; it was an evil role [laughs]. I specialise in these evil characters. I think that was my first, the fake Santa [laughs]! But I must say when I was a kid I liked acting and that sort of thing but I never went to acting club or anything. That wasn't my dream. I didn't know what I wanted to do. My sister always wanted to be an actor and I felt, ‘OK, that's my sister's thing’. She was on the stage from when she was two. I wanted to be a teacher, then I had a gap year and went to a drama school for what was supposed to be one year, just for fun. I realised how much fun it was and that's how I ended up acting.

Haven't you always done circus as well as acting? Not really always. My ex-husband was a circus person; he's a juggler, in traditional circus. I went to physical theatre school in Denmark, so in 2009 we started a company together and we toured around here and there. I was always faking that I could do circus, juggling and that sort of thing but I'm more like a clown. My ex was the only one who could catch my throws. With him I could juggle with nine rings and all sorts of things but I can't do it any more! It's been on and off, the circus stuff, but I'm definitely more like an actor. You're really funny on stage. How did you develop your funny bones? [Laughs] I think it's just something that you have naturally. Before I was a performer I always made people laugh without trying. I remember when I was 16 people called me Ally McBeal, after the character in the TV series, and I always fell over or slipped or did something stupid accidentally like her. But I went to a traditional drama school in Finland for two years, then I went to the physical theatre school; you learn Commedia and timing and clowning. Actually, at first it's difficult trying to be funny without knowing the techniques.

Then I went to Philippe Gaulier and there I realised that, yes, you have to have the technique but you have to combine it with your natural instincts. But it's sometimes difficult because in MacBETTI, when it was a work in progress, in the bit where Lady Macbeth is about to kill herself, I wanted people to cry, I wanted to do it very seriously… and people were just laughing [laughs]. But I can do straight drama too; I'm able to make people cry if I want them to. Most comedy stuff is being open and reacting. The most horrible thing is to go on a clown course. I absolutely hate it. It's a pain in the arse. It's awful. Why? I mean, I agree it is my idea of hell… Because you have to make people laugh. As soon as you take the pressure away from yourself and you fail that's fine. In everything that's the main thing; if you are prepared to fail you will learn things. And very often in clown courses it's so technical, but if you just have fun it's better.

Why did you come to London? Basically because we got divorced. I was living in Denmark. When that was over I thought, ‘OK, I'm 30, what should I do? I dunno; oh no…’, but my friend lived here and I just came here for three months in 2014, in the winter, and was having fun, getting my shit together. My friend was doing an MA course at East 15. I never thought I was going to do a school again but then I thought, ‘Yeah, why not?’. I was a drama teacher in Finland for many years and needed a place where people would teach things to me, so I applied to East 15. I thought I'd like to stay in London and going there was a good way to connect with people.

How did you meet Hanna? We met at some circus festival ages ago, maybe eight years ago. I knew her but not super-well before I came here. Because she was Finnish and she was here in London we started to hang out. Then she asked if I wanted to put a company together with her. And I said, ‘OK, why not?’. She pushes me and teaches me things I can't really do [laughs]. We're hoping to premiere Lola next year. We have timing issues so we're looking to see if I'll be in the show or if it'll be somebody else.

How was your tour of schools in Finland? The kids really liked us. They were from six to 17, and it was really funny because they asked our ages – I'm 32 and I think Hanna is 35, heh heh heh, [evil cackle] and when we told them they couldn't believe it. They were saying: "No way! What do you do for a living?" and we were replying, ‘Yeah, this is our job’. Even adults were asking if we were students; they couldn't understand that this is our job.

The subject of the show was about standing up to bullying and being yourself and believing in your dreams, so it was a nice thing for the students to see that here are two performers who are doing what they want. Being an adult doesn't mean that you have to do a job from 8am-5pm at the store or something. You can still do crazy stuff. Even if you're an adult you can still play and have fun; and I think you should still do that anyway.

I think that's why I ended up in this industry because my parents always played with me. With my dad, even now, we're still playing. But it was quite heartbreaking to see how much pressure the kids have nowadays with social media where looks are really, really important for them. The pressures they have now I didn't have at their age. It's a totally different world. It's sad but it's good to do this type of show telling them it's good to be yourself. In Lola there was a marvellous bit where Hanna stapled some paper to your leg, and the audience gasped in horror! How much does that hurt? It does hurt but in the show it doesn't because you have adrenaline going round your body. Of course, you can feel it, but when we first tried it it was horrible; I was in panic mode. Then when Hanna did it, it was really scary! It was actually my idea but I wasn't planning that it was going to be me who was going to be stapled!

Did you study Macbeth at school? We did it at East 15 in a Shakespeare model, and I also studied it when I was in Denmark. But it was basically because I like the story; there are witches, mystery, war, killing, there's blood and there are the big women characters like Lady Macbeth. I wanted to do a solo show and I was out of ideas. I had this solo show for kids, Red Riding Hood, that I've been doing for many years, where I play multiple roles. It was just a half joke that I was going to do a one-woman Macbeth.

But my boyfriend thought it was a good idea. And last summer, when I came up with the idea, he said Camden People's Theatre has a feminist theatre festival in August. So I applied without having any idea of what I was going to do. I got accepted then thought, ‘Oh no, now I have to do a show! [laughs]. But I work best with deadlines. Nobody would probably ever cast me as Macbeth and I want to play that role. And I'm doing all the other roles as well. How does it differ in Finnish and English? I'd been reading Macbeth in Finnish and I must say when I started to read it in English I couldn't understand it at all! I was never really a Shakespeare fan when I read it in Finnish because, for me, it just doesn't flow. I do speak a little bit of Finnish in this version as well. In MacBETTI there are two storylines; the one about Macbeth, the character who wants total power by killing the king, then there's the story of me as an actor, who wants total power by taking over all the roles. On the stage with me there's a performing stagehand who is a technician and prompter. He's the one on the receiving end of part of my craziness when I'm me as an actor, intoxicated with power. It's also about having fun but it's also about when you're a woman and you have to fight for your place in the industry. Are you superstitious about saying 'Macbeth'? You can say the name of the play but not in a theatre. What about in Finnish? Well, 'Macbetti’ is ‘Macbeth’ in Finnish. In my show, Banquo speaks in a thick Finnish accent and the name comes from how he pronounces the name, which is ‘Macbetti’. Heidi Niemi stars in Lumo Company’s MacBETTI at Camden People’s Theatre, London, from 16-20 May 2017, and at The Marlborough, as part of the Brighton Fringe, from 30-31 May.

Twitter: @niemi_heidi; @lumocompany

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

Read our interview with Heidi’s partner in Lumo Company, Hanna Moisala

#heidi niemi #clown #clowning #theatre #actor #actress #finnish #circus #macbeth #staples #hanna moisala #lumo company #finland

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