#also what are yalls love languages
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ngl i get that people hype up hating writing for the bit but like. idk. yall i Do actually really like writing. it is so satisfying and fun and rewarding and i get to look back what i made over and over again and get joy every single time.
yes writing is hard but if you hate it more than you love it im kinda like. idk. find another hobby?
#also the planning parts and the daydreaming is part of the process so idk#yall it is getting exhausting seeing all the quirky see how little i’m writing shit#like what if for once i am writing and im having a grand time!!#what if not being able to write isn’t a fun joke it is honestly detrimental to my brain!!!#what if writing has been my friend when i never had any and it is the love of my life and love language and i love actually doing it perhap#talking#ren hot cakes
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this is so ass im so sorry
#had the joke inside my brain for the last 6 months (?????? whaaatt#anyway so uuumm drew dis in like 10 minutes with more than half of my brain melting because of how sleepy i was i thought it would be nice#if i colored it but nah man again i was sleepy asf.......... also i gotta acept i dont like the whute void as background what is that bru#if you dont like my super duper elaborated joke please dont interact with me ever again i meant it for real this gotta be one of my best#jokes ever like i cant understand why you wouldnt like it i mean i perfectly get it if you dont like the presentation of the comic#either do i but cmon man the joke itself is so funny im funny i swaer im fun yall wsnt me so bad ylu want to be my fans so when i open#comission yall buy me some dw i know you like so if you like me that much make ssure to stay tuned for when i open comission i need money#ups no i mean you love my jokes yeah you do love my jokes so much youll follow me i know you will#myart#sketch#comic#ass comic#doodle#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#qi xiaotian#long xiaojiao#mk#mei#lmk#fanart#just read all what i wrote wth i cant speak properly#nvm just remembered i have no respect for this language
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forever being absolutely delusional and loving a rich old man who is unattainable to him, he's the realest member on qsmp
#qsmp#qsmp liveblog#philever#idc what yall say philever is just the funniest ship/duo in the server#also imagine the unattainable part being cuz phil is an angel and how angels are normally depicted above regular humans#maybe there could be some rethoric somewhere on how humans want to connect with beings far from their understandment#but im dumb as hell and english is not my first language so someone could probably do that#anyway i love philever forever is so cringefail go get your mans
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Me a nosey and messy bitch:
Soooooooo, whats the hot take 🧐👀👂
i was gonna be like "come off anon and i'll tell you privately!" but honestly idgaf, this is my blog!!
i've been reading fanfiction since i was 9 years old, and writing it since i was in middle school. in my early teen years i mostly read fanfic for "het" ships (primarily nejiten, sasuino [lol] and shikatema.) as an older teen/adult i've been consuming more gay content. as y'all know i love team gai. my fave ships are kakagai, nejiten, and gaalee, so these are the ships i read the most fic of. and i've gotta say.
IN MY EXPERIENCE!!! fics for gay ships are usually way better written! BY A COUNTRY MILE!!! and idk why it is!! i have found NUMEROUS long + incredibly well-written fics for kakagai and gaalee, less so for nejiten. even searching ao3 and seeing fics for other "het" ships that nejiten is a side pairing of, just on the summaries alone i can tell A LOT of them are not for me....sorry! sorry!
like i don't want to be a mean and messy bitch but alas here we are. sometimes, the plots just aren't giving. like, they're not interesting! but also, i am primarily talking in terms of technical writing craft and skill!! summaries be riddled with grammatical issues and typos*, or don't make sense, or, again, aren't compelling and make me want to read the fic. or the characterization is abysmal! from blatantly out of character actions to, just, like, fundamental misunderstandings of the characters
i just find a lot of nejiten fics that are written exactly in the way that i used to write when i was 14!! and i'm sorry again! that may work for some people but i am a voracious reader and also want to write as my CAREER, so that's just not gonna cut it for me....
of my 3 favorite naruto ships, nejiten is the only one that i've been shipping SINCE the beginning of my days in the naruto fandom (aka when i was 9/10 years old!!) but of my 16 ao3 bookmarks, only 4 of them are nejiten-centric fics–two of them are by the same author (shoutout to @winterberryholly) and 1 of them is a oneshot.
hence the point of my original post. WHERE are the well-written, nejiten-centric fics that are, like, longfic. i've found cute oneshots or shorter fics here and there but it's like damn. what's a bitch gotta do for a 300k slowburn friends to lovers bi4bi ptsd trauma + healing nejiten fic? write it myself?!
TLDR my hot take is that gay ships tend to have much better written fic than "het" ships
#*understandable if english is not your native language. i get that and NEVER EVER discount a fic on that basis#but if you are an adult american naruto fan. writing in american english. and the fic is written like a 13 yr old wrote it? sorry but no!#and again. LIVE AND LET LIVE. i'm not saying people shouldnt post what they want to post. i'm just not gonna read it <3#it also doesn't help that i don't like most of the canon ships and there is hardly a nejiten fic where nh ss or si aren't included#and another thing. whenever i see a nejiten fic where lee is paired with a random girl i'm like wtf?#personal preference but lee is gay to me sorry. even if he's not with gaara. thats simply not a straight man#'oh but he was in love with sakura' 1. he barely knew her 2. ever heard of comphet?#like. i was hunting for a fic on ao3 last night and saw a fic where lee was paired with anko. wtf do yall be smoking!!! SORRY!#also. ironic that i'm saying all of this but just took down the literal 1 fic i had published on ao3#its b/c i am rewriting it b/c i have an idea for a sequel so i have to fix the first one djwajej#anyway. sorry if this shows up in tags i'm trynna keep it cute <3
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she��s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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My Personal Shadow Magic Headcanons - "Shadow Sickness"
I'm so autistic and lazy so here's another weirdly-worded headcanons post from me at 4 AM (lmk if I need to tag this as anything specific btw
What I'm personally calling "Shadow Sickness" is the official, prolonged version of Backlash - adverse effects that target the practitioner even outside of the duel circle and in their everyday lives. While "Backlash" refers to the immediate and spontaneous barrage of attacks that takes place after a Shadow spell, "Shadow Sickness" is the gradual deterioration of the practitioner's mind, body, and soul. True to the name, this effect likens more to an illness, a virus; something that's alive and slowly takes over until there is nothing healthy left behind. The symptoms are emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual.
While regular Magic has life force within it, Shadow Magic is the only type of magic that can be considered "sentient". Not a thinking being with goals and plans, but something living and breathing with the most basic instincts. It's what's considered "Chaotic" and dangerous about it - the Wizard bends and controls regular Magic, but Shadow Magic can bend and control the Wizard. It is the only type of magic that can "fight back" in its own way.
This sentience is what allows for Shadow Sickness and Backlash to happen - these are purely just the results of it "fighting back". The Shadow Magic is reacting to the practitioner. It's acting by its nature by rearing its head back and snapping the hand that controls it. If the practitioner is NOT sound and secure in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, then Backlash and Shadow Sickness can cause even more adverse effects within the Wizard and as a result can suffer more severely.
Symptoms of Shadow Sickness
Symptoms of Shadow Sickness can vary between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The "virus" affects every single aspect of the being, down to their very life. The severity of these symptoms can also vary depending on certain variables. Unlike a true virus, Shadow Sickness has no "incubation period" and can flare up at any time during which the Wizard is practicing Shadow Magic. These symptoms include:
Physical scarring (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) - one of the only symptoms that comprise of all four categories. Scars may appear on the Wizard's body that take various shapes and forms: most commonly taken after that individual's unsolved trauma. This includes old grudges, previous serious injuries that have not healed correctly, repressed memories, obsessions and delusions, etc. No two scars look the same (i.e. two different wizards who have a fear of spiders will have scars that look entirely different from the other). Depending on the severity these scars can cause physical discomfort (tingling, numbness, pain, leathery skin, decay/cellular deterioration) and can greatly impact how the Wizard looks to others to how the Wizard can move around.
Involuntary movements (physical, mental, spiritual) - the Wizard may begin suffering from accidental and spontaneous gestures and movement that is either randomized or triggered. This can include loss of coordination, disorientation, mini seizures, jerks and spasms, etc. Other than being physically affected, the Wizard is not suffering from any medical emergencies. The individual is fully conscious and aware when this happens and depending on the severity, can recover seconds after. This is one of the only symptoms where others could be harmed due to a wayward hand that comes flying out by accident. There is also a magical version of this, where involuntary spells or bursts of magic can be cast spontaneously (hence the 'spiritual' aspects of this symptom as mana comes from the soul). Usually these magical bursts are Shadow Magic and not the Wizard's primary or secondary Magic abilities. (Another involuntary trait recorded is the Wizard suddenly switching to an ancient "Shadow Language" in mid-speech.)
Hallucinations (physical, mental) - the Wizard may begin to experience things that cannot be detected by any other individual. Usually these hallucinations start out as smells or taste first, but there are reports of the Wizard hearing, sensing, and even seeing things to start out with. Contrary to popular belief not all hallucinations are violent or even turn out to be that way, some reports even describe them as pleasant. Hallucinations vary from each Wizard even with those who share the same traumas or fears. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the Wizard can either be fully aware or completely immersed within them. Since these are only hallucinations they cannot harm the Wizard but can cause further deterioration to the mind.
Depleted energy/"Mana Loss" (physical, spiritual) - as the Shadow Sickness takes hold, eventually the Wizard will be slowly sapped of strength and magical energy. THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM IF THE WIZARD IS SKILLED IN SHADOW MAGIC. A Wizard can practice Shadow Magic and still NOT be affected by this. Since Shadow Magic "takes", Shadow Sickness does the same and gradually depletes the Wizard's energy. Like how Backlash takes health in a duel, Shadow Sickness takes your life. This is the only symptom that is constant in all cases of Shadow Sickness. Not only will the ability to cast spells be taken away, but overall physical health will suffer as well and the individual is more susceptible to regular diseases due to a compromised immune system. This symptom only appears in the very last stages of Shadow Sickness and is the last symptom of the individual experiences in their lifetime.
Tulpas (emotional, mental, spiritual) - contrasting hallucinations, Tulpas are the Wizard's visions made real. A Tulpa (from Shadow Sickness) is a physical and magical manifestation of the Wizard suffering from the Shadow "virus". Although it is born from the subconscious of another being, it is a separate entity all its own and has the ability to make decisions and have feelings and desires. However, these feelings and desires are not really of their own and reflect the Wizard's subconscious fears and threat responses. (i.e. our Azteca Tulpa in Khrysalis that formed due to unresolved survivor's guilt. Its "goal" was to destroy us and fully consume us within itself, similar to how guilt behaves in reality). Tulpas can either be created from visions, nightmares, intense and obsessive thoughts, or even previous hallucinations.
Can Shadow Sickness be reversed, or cured?
Shadow Sickness can be reversed, yes, or more commonly halted. Unless the Wizard is fully submersed in their mental and spiritual anguish ((Malistaire even though he wasn't using shadow magic; Morganthe even though that wasn't what killed her)) Shadow Sickness can be stopped. The road to recovery varies wildly from each person so there is no set "recovery time" in which you are expected to be fully healed. It is your own journey and it is ultimately your say whether or not you are better. Clinically, recovery can be sorted between these categories
HALTED: In which the Shadow Sickness is no longer infecting the individual but the symptoms may still persist. These symptoms do not get worse or better, but the Wizard's mind is clear and their soul is at peace. Wizards may either learn to live comfortably and adapt with their Halted condition or could continue to strive for partial or full recovery.
PARTIAL RECOVERY: In which the Shadow Sickness is reversed slightly or moderately. The effects are not all the way gone but are measured to be better than when the Wizard was still infected. In this state any severe symptoms the Wizard is experiencing are now moderate or slight, or less frequent. Just like in the Halted category, the Wizard is sound of mind, body, and soul.
FULL RECOVERY: In which Shadow Sickness is totally reversed and there are no more symptoms that persist. Full, 100% recovery is actually quite rare in the Spiral and a lot of scholars consider the Full Recovery to count as "70% or more reduced" - meaning the symptoms are very slight and few and far in between. Technically this is still a Partial Recovery but due to the above fact and how difficult it is to reverse Shadow Sickness, 'Full Recovery' is an umbrella term. Some individuals even claim Full Recovery even if their symptoms are moderate, because their mind and soul are no longer diseased.
ONE LAST FACT TO LEAVE OFF WITH: Not every Wizard who practices Shadow Magic suffers from Shadow Sickness, and alternatively even the most skilled Shadowmage can develop Shadow Sickness.
okay this took days. bye hope you liked this
#btw tagging some of these symptoms jic theyre triggering to some#tw seizures#tw hallucinations#lmk if i need to tag anything else#BUT YEAH THIS IS IT#i got lazy at the end but i def wanna expand on this#a few things i wanna talk about more in depth: the 'shadow language' thing and the 'mana comes from the soul' thing#BUT THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO MAKE#giving holly even MORE trauma#due to canon reasons and because i love suffering holly isnt even in the “halted” category#theyre still suffering from ongoing shadow sickness. its progressing a hell of a lot slower than others but shes def feeling it#due to ambrose's thinky veiled threat of always being watched and everyone else unintentionally-#-brushing aside holly's health the shadow sickness remains undetected#except for velma. she sees that shit#but since holly is the master of bottling things up theyre like “ahaha what virus” (throws up black blood)#holly has the scarring as the worst symptom and has a few specific scars i wanna talk about in another post#but they also suffer from hallucinations and the shadow language thing#since holly is unintentionally holding off the worst of the Sickness she doesnt have the mana depletion yet#i think i forgot like maybe one or two symptoms but im so tired ugh. this is all yall are getting for now LMAO#idk if this is even a good post. im proud of it#one symptom i forgot to mention is madness. or i think thats the end result same as depletion#its what morganthe suffered dueing the end of her life as a giant apider creature she just fully succumbed to the madness#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts
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I'm also making it so that Soleil was the one that translated that one book of The Cursing of Chateau Castle Issue #2 in Dormont cuz I'm a big fan of it, they're a big fan of it, so it makes sense--
#aria rants#rlly living up to my reputation of loving the cursing of chateau castle so much i ended up making an oc that also loves the book#just as much to the point of even translating one into another language. if i cant read that book then my oc gets that privilege#a lil jealous cuz of that but alas! it is the agony of two worlds! also im gonna be drawing their design after my current wip#then yall will see what exactly did i mean about testing the limits of the isat universe cuz i honestly love the design idea i have
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Wouldn’t it be so funny if you could do an extension to that drawing of Skull taking the bullet of a fatal attack for Joker? 👁👄👁 Like have Skull just going unconscious from it and just Joker holds him for a second before he just goes absolutely apeshit and tears apart the shadow that did the attack to begin with. (Maybe show them at the end recovering and Akira just suddenly hugs Ryuji and cries a bit because he was very worried that he might’ve lost him) (maybe there would be some blood which would’ve most likely caused Ryuji to pass out idk)
augh anon i DO love this!! but sorry, i dont really take requests like this 😅 the only "request" type stuff i do is when i open prompts, and those are usually tied to a prompt list! i feel like that gives me more creative control over what i do :>
(and i do have prompts open at the moment btw if anyone wants to send in one! though there's a bunch in my ask box that i haven't gotten to yet ahah, sorry about that)
y'all are MORE than welcome to talk scenarios with me though! that's great fun and i'd love to chat more about persona 5!
#not putting you on blast or anything anon! i dont mind you asking! but i just want to make that clear for people so yall know how i operate#what i love abt prompts is that it's not just 'draw x character doing this' for me. it's almost like a writing exercise in a way#it lets me work on my characterization. it makes me go 'ok under WHAT circumstances would they be doing this. what's the story here'#especially when it's 2+ characters cause then it's like. how do they act towards each other what's the body language how do they feel#idk it's just fun! also cause sometimes i think my reply might be completely different to what the asker initially imagined would be hahah#ask
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Holy shit i just learnt Linny from Wonder Pets is a woman. They literally made her a man in the spanish dub for some reason. Absolute trans icon.
#luly talks#wonder pets#im watching atena p's video on it ofc and when she called linny she i was like what.#i cant actually confirm this because i dont think these little fellas ever actually use gendered language on each other#but i remember her being a man so vividly and i loved this show so yall will have to believe me#also i checked the wikipedia page and it uses female gendered words for ming ming but NOT for linny so#btw atena didnt like these songs go hard as all fucks fr
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SOBBING CRYING GIGGLING SOBBING AGAIN MY BEBES <333!!!!
the chaotic sibling energy is so on point omg, tele jokingly being like ah what would u do without me is such a brother move (bonus points if she delivers a devastating one liner, classic sister move). i love them
bro and sis killed me and then resurrected me. this is canon. canoner than athenas patronage of odysseus canoner than penelopes naiad heritge canoner than homers thing for redheads lol and canoner than-
I need more content of the daughter of Ctimene and Eurylochus 👹👹👹
Feed me with content please 🛐✨️
Her you go 😔✋
Euphemia likes writing poetry, though Telemachus is the only one who can and may read the drafts (hc thanks to @kindred-spirit-93) :D
And before the suitors stop letting her and Ctimene enter the palace, they often sit down to listen to the stories their mothers have about their fathers.
Also they call each other brother and sister because of a childhood habit that stuck as they grew up together. Let me live in delusion please.
#sibling au?#family au??#dunno if thats an epic thing yet#but here me out#we can use the same au name for telephemia (i love squishing names together lol) and the poli twins!! expand the au-niverse XD#so its like big family au yk?#me n u are making our lager extended families canon lmao!!#NOPE WAIT I GOT IT#oikoi#fun to say lol#but most importantly#is the plural of oikos#greek word for two distinct but related (heh) concepts: family and family's house.. home and household#which fits bc theyre all technically living under one roof -the palace- and allows for multiple in universe families#and get this it can also refer to line of descent from father to son (and here daughter) across generations#what does my beloved think?#alternatively oikogéneia#has a nice ring to it and can be compounded with other words#>:DDDDD#God i adore languages#also yall pls correct me if im wrong#i do not speaketh greek#epic the musical#ctimene#penelope#telemachus#euphemia#au stuff#I NEED TO WORK SO I CAN FROLIC HERE WITH U#UGH ILL BE BACK I PROMISE <3
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i just want a dictionary is it that hard to get me a dictionary
#i could buy one yes#but my father was offering to buy me gifts and asked what i wanted#and i repeatedly told him i wanted a fucking dictionary#but alas#do u know how fucking humiliating it is to open fucking google fuckass translate#it makes me want to kill myself everytime#ive been searching for a russian dictionary for months in bookstores (albeit only in the secondhand franchise i frequent) to no avail#again i could buy one. a brand new firsthand one#but secondhand books spark joy in me#my favourite book of all time- also a dictionary- was bought secondhand#if i can get a beauty like that for cheap and already used why would i buy a ridiculously expensive new one#idk im just ranting and whining now for no reason#ive been putting off the firsthand shopping bc there arent any in the non secondhand bookstores ive been to#which means ill have to buy one online#and man it just makes me hesitant bc i want to see it irl first before buying it#i fucking LOVE dictionaries theyre my favourite books in the world alongside poetry anthologies#it's an art and the art of writing dictionaries must be respected i cant buy a fucking half assed one. i need to see the love and care#put into them#bc YES dictionaries are a labour of love for the culture and language and one's roots#words are such a beautiful part of mankind and dictionary writers understand that#i will fucking defend u guys with my life#i love yall stay safe out there i hope u are laden with a thousand kisses for ur efforts. know that u are loved and appreciated <3#dictionary rant
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since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.
but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.
later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.
the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH
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no questions asked— jjk
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bb9afc6f0e7abcbdfa9f2f78a40c64a0/f004dc45b7f8f229-68/s540x810/9265699c4d0314686d0eae95635888abd6b463b9.jpg)
Jeon jungkook wants nothing more than to get settled with his girlfriend, but what if her fear of commitment makes him take a step back? Will he do it, or will he be able to changer her mind for good?
pairing : Jungkook X reader
genre : established relationship, smut, fluff
word count : 6.6k (im begging for forgiveness)
Based on this ask <33
warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature, oc is an anxious girly (same), mentions of emotionally unavailable parents, jungkook is a man of dreams, simp boyfriend jungkook, car sex, unprotected sex (be safe), begging, reference of titanic if you squint, yeah that's pretty much it.
a/n : this took million business days lmao but finally it's here. the sweetest anon requested a drabble but i couldn't do it and as much as i tried to make it shorter, it got stretched to 6k words 😭 so im deeply sorry anon. the rest of you who enjoy longer fics, dig in. I love you guys so much, you might not know this but yall are my besties for resties. kisses. 💌
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Your boyfriend is going to propose to you.
Oh god
Oh. my. God.
Anxiety is not a foreign feeling for you. Although this time, it’s an indescribable sort. Something which is lingering in the deepest pit of your stomach for a lack of better word. Besides, there’s a mayhem inside your head, the voices are loud and intimidating, causing you to bite your lip to a point where they bleed while also staring at nothing.
Jungkook has been nothing but secretive— the poor boy has no idea that you have already seen the navy blue box sitting inside his side of the drawer. You can swear it was totally unintentional.
In your defense, you had been searching for your glasses and that was the only place left to fish around. Nobody could have prepared you for the utter shock when your eyes fell on that box and so for a minute or two you just stood there, horrifyingly still and stunned. However, you recovered quickly, because to be quite honest it was about time one of you mustered up enough courage to ask the question.
It’s supposed to make you thrilled right? So why does something feel… off?
“Penny for your thoughts?”, as soon as Cherry’s voice reaches your ears, you snap out of it and flash her a forced smile.
“Yeah-” you begin, “Yeah uh- I’m just thinking about nothing in particular.”
“_____ you’re an amazing girl but you gotta work on those lying skills.”
A chuckle leaves your mouth. You shouldn’t even have bothered in the first place, the girl can read you like a book.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours huh?”
She picks up the book before scanning it with the barcode scanner all the while you marvel if you should tell her or just let it go, but then you also know how she would become a pain in the ass if you don’t spill the beans to her. Anyway, she can;t make you overthink it any more than you already have.
You bite your lower lip before saying, “I feel like Jungkook is going to propose.”
If looks alone could kill, you would have been buried deep by now with the way the man wearing an olive green cardigan, probably in his 50s, gives you side eye when Cherry drops the book with a loud thud on the counter.
You wince.
“I’m sorry what?”
When you subtly signal her to pick what she’s dropped, she takes a hold of the book, apologizes to the man who— you’re hundred percent sure hates your guts now, and resumes her work.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Ha! Girl you better start telling me more or none of us are going home today.”
She’s talking to you but her hands keep shuffling between scanning the books and expeditiously typing on the keyboard.
A spark of hesitation finds a way inside your heart. The thing is, you’re not sure. Do you want to marry the love of your life? Absolutely. Do you think you can keep the marriage going and stable? No.
There you said it.
And that kills you because jeopardising your bond and connection with Jungkook is the last thing you want to do.
Maybe, it’s because nobody in your family has been able to keep their inner spark alive after they had gotten married or you might as well blame it on the relationship your own parents have had before your eyes.
For everyone who couldn’t see past the walls of your house, your parents were an ideal couple. A pair who were equally efficient and successful in their respective areas of life. With your father being a renowned businessman and your mother holding the title of a world famous fashion designer, they couldn’t have been a better partner for each other, right?
Wrong. Too bad you had the honor of being an onlooker of their facade slipping away before getting replaced by their real impudent selves.
But that’s all you could do though. You were merely just an audience. Someone who could see everything shatter before her eyes and not do a single thing to put an end to it.
Constant fights, fuming with jealousy over one of them achieving more than the other, sabotaging each other.
All hell broke loose when they began making you take sides.
You think mommy is better don’t you, honey?
You should be proud of your dad, ____. You’re living such a luxurious life thanks to me.
For the love of god you were five. What does a five year old know about luxury or human ego? What could you have possibly known about who is better? In your eyes, they were your mom and dad and not some squish mellows placed side by side from which you had to take your pick. Let’s not even start with the emotional unavailability they provided you with.
A knot lodges in your throat and you struggle to get the words out. “I happen to see the box inside his drawer”
“You’re sure it had a ring inside- Wait, don't answer that”, she shakes her head as if she just asked the most ridiculous question ever.
No shit.
“But that’s a good thing right? I mean you guys have been seeing each other for a while now and marriage is the final stop.” she continues and you can’t help but feel terrible, because she is making sense.
A sigh leaves you, “Yeah no- I mean yeah it is but I didn’t expect him to take the initiative so suddenly. No hints were dropped at all. Marriage is, gosh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but it seems intimidating to me.”
The queue has finally dissipated at this point so she faces you fully showcasing her engrossment in your dilemma. The girl feeds off drama but refuses to get involved in one.
Her expression morphs into something between horrified and sympathetic. “_____, is that because of your parents?”
Your heart skips a beat. This whole time you and only you had authority over this thought that your fear of marriage is deeply rooted in your own parents’ fucked up relationship. A belief that lay sly and unseen.
Only after those words left Cherry’s mouth did you realise how venomous they sound. It makes you aware that the fear was not as concealed as you intended to keep it. What are you supposed to do when you find out that somebody else knows about your deepest terrors? Run? Hide? Or simply not say anything?
Your mouth feels suddenly dry. “What?”
Cherry takes a hold of your palm and rubs it gently, “If it is, I want you to know that it’s not the case for everyone. Marriage is a beautiful concept, a lovely commitment. Are there some pitfalls to it? Yes. But that’s the beauty of it. The way two people come together and resolve them-”
Your phone buzzes inside your pocket causing you to flinch. Releasing your hands from her hold, you take it out and see your grandmother’s number stare up at you.
“I’ll just be back.” you excuse yourself just as a woman places a stack of books on the counter.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
“Hey, beautiful” you greet her, a smile lighting up your entire face.
“My baby, did I catch you at the wrong time?” her voice is like a balm to your heart. So warm and comforting. It reminds you of your movie nights with her where you didn’t have to be anything or pretend. You just had to exist and she made it worth it. Always.
“Now you know even the devil himself can’t stop me from talking to you.”
A loud chortle reaches your ears and you imagine her throwing her head back, laughing.
“I was calling to ask if you and your eye candy of a boyfriend are visiting home this year for thanksgiving, dear?”
Dear lord, you can’t believe you forgot about that.
Your eyes widen, and just when you think you could bubble up some other lie, she speaks up, “You forgot, didn’t you?”
Yeah, bold of you to assume you can do that and get away. You actually need to work on your lying skills. For whatever reason. You want to pluck your eyelashes out one by one because of how gloomy she sounds.
“I’m genuinely sorry, grams.” pinching the bridge of your nose you continue, “I’ve just been busy with work and barely making ends meet. I promise this is the first and last time I let it slip my mind.”
With the job you have, there’s only so much cash you can count and while you would love to make a career out of writing, the thought of publishing your own book sends shivers down your spine.
Every time you open the draft a new mistake pops up, taking a percentage of your self confidence down the drain. You’re only human. A microscopic slip catches your attention and you start questioning your life choices.
“Honey, come home and give yourself some time off, what do you youngsters like to call it? Oh yes, grind. Yeah?”
It’s your turn to laugh. “Wow someone has been too into love island lately.”
Cherry raises her eyebrows from across the room and you mouth her the word ‘grandma’. She nods with a smile on her face, going back to work.
A long stretch of silence hangs in the air before you hear her ask, “_____, what else is wrong?”
The smile which has been adorning your face this whole time instantly drops. You blink.
Once
Twice
Thrice
“I don’t understand.” Liar.
“You know what I mean, baby. I want you to tell me more, because I know something has been bothering you. What is it?”
Humans are so funny sometimes. They can be as close to you as your own soul and not have a hint of your torment. Meanwhile, there is your grandmother, who despite being so far away from you just….. knew. But again, it has always been like this hasn’t it?
Whenever you got tired of your parents throwing stuff around the house, making each other lick the floors, trying to make their own and your life a living hell, she knew.
She was the one who allowed you to cry, and assured you that she would not call you dramatic if she happened to hear your sobs.
You were allowed to cry,
You were allowed to ask for help,
You were allowed to not hold back.
Sucking in a deep breath, you release it, “Everything else is perfect, grams.”
Mr William is always the first person to greet you everyday when you reach the apartment. He’s been working as a guard for years now and you’ve grown quite familiar with him. While being the sweetest man you’ve ever come across, he also brings his wife’s yummiest tarts for you whenever she makes them. Arguably, they deserve more hype than they get.
“She knows how much you love her tarts” he says, making you feel immense gratitude towards his kindness.
This particular night, he seems…. restless. He’s shifting from one foot to another as you shut the cab’s door behind you. Striding over to him, you mentally try your best to figure out his uneasiness.
Clearing your throat, your throat as you ask, “Is everything alright, Mr William?”
Only after he hears your voice, he gains his composure. Or so he tries.
He hands you a piece of paper which feels a bit wet and you wonder what could have been so intense that the man began having clammy palms.
It’s nearly concerning, not to mention it doesn’t help with your own anxiety at all. If not, shoot it up.
“Your boyfriend dropped by around lunch time, miss. He handed me this and asked me to give it to you as soon as you come back from work.”
He couldn’t have given it to you yesterday when he was with you in the first place? Weird.
“I see, but why are you so tense? Has something happened?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My wife has been sick and I was supposed to leave early but I figured it would be better if I gave it to you safely before going home to her.”
Fuck
“You could have given this to me later. Your wife comes first, sir.” you gulp, “Please, I appreciate your gesture but she needs you more. Thank you so much and please let me know if I can be of help.”
He releases an empty chuckle. “Thank you, Miss”
With one last nod you walk inside the building while also hoping he doesn’t call you for help. Not because you won’t do anything it takes to help him, but because you hope it wouldn’t come to it. The moment you shut the apartment door behind and turn on the light, the piece of paper steals your attention. Without waiting any further, you unfold it, coming across Jungkook’s writing.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/17727b2b16b1190f9e1cd5546ff3a0ca/f004dc45b7f8f229-c4/s540x810/e8f35ea0b0363b9c857aad257b5f9b136338f0ff.jpg)
The note alone feels like he whispered it into your ear before placing the softest kiss on your skin. Your lips stretch into a serene smile as you stride over to the bedroom, turning the doorknob as your gaze catches a purple bodycon resting on top of your bed. It is accompanied with a bouquet of pink tulips as well as a bar of Dubai chocolate.
Your head that has been nothing short of a commotion is now finally at peace. Not entirely but at peace nonetheless.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Jungkook was 12 when he went on his first roller coaster ride. He was, like every other child, afraid. Afraid that he might fall and hurt himself so bad, he wouldn’t ever be able to get up. The roller coaster had a massive drop followed by a corkscrew which took him upside down. Until the moment Jungkook saw a woman in yellow dress buying a bunch of tulips from the flower shop he very often visited, he had never felt his stomach bottom out as strongly as it did during that drop back then.
There she was, chatting with the florist as if they’re best friends. He could see her behind the glass picking out the pink tulips before sniffing them. Meanwhile, Jungkook stood across the road, soaked and enchanted as he wondered if he should ask for her number or chicken out. Eventually, the latter won.
But here’s the thing, Jungkook is not one for losing. He hates losing, even the term makes him want to peel his own skin off.
He saw her hair first, becoming curly locks reaching down to her waist and just above her hips. Granted that his line of sight only allowed him to see her side profile, he assumed she was gorgeous. It was not unlikely for him to see beautiful women on a daily basis, but something about her just sucked him in. His eyes could not leave her face and he believed even if they tried, he would pluck them out just to punish them. Was it weird that his hands itched to hold a woman he doesn’t even know?
What’s her name?
Where does she live?
What’s her favorite color?
How does she like her coffee?
There’s a japanese phrase called koi no yokan which means that you eventually will fall in love with a person you meet. You’re going to grow so fond of that person that you would want to see no one by your side but them. She was that person for him.
He rubs his hands for the nth time in a futile attempt to warm them up, waiting outside ____’s building. How is this evening going so slow? He has been here for perhaps half an hour now, so why does it feel like it’s been a decade?
And funnily enough, the only person who can put him out of his misery is _____. At this point, the guy fears he wouldn’t be able to so much as look her in the eye, but not doing that will be the end of him too.
He looks down and lets his hands run over his black button down shirt, wondering if she would like it. She loved seeing him in black on the first date. A loud click clack of heels grab his attention, perking his ears up. He looked up and there she was in all her glory.
Jungkook releases a breath and rubs his chest as if his heart hurts. As if it’s telling him how unworthy he is of this woman who is walking up to him, who may be as nervous as him but still chose him as her man.
The woman who could have anyone she wanted wrapped around her pinky finger gave her days, nights and evenings to him. She smiled at him, for him and if he was lucky, because of him.
_____ stops before him while he’s still adjusting to the sight of her. “How do I look?”
Unreal, exquisite and way out of his league.
He shakes his head from side to side, thinking of a single word that would suffice the answer to that. He fails and so instead he runs his fingers down her forearm until he reaches her soft hands and takes it into his own cold ones.
Placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, he begins. “My imagination of you in this dress has got nothing on this vision.”
Her face morphs into the softest expression of love, “And exactly how many times have you imagined me in this dress, Jeon Jungkook?”
He takes a step forward, his chest almost touching hers. “I can’t answer that. You want to know why?”
“Why?” Her voice is emotionless. His thumb grazes her lower lip as he tries not to smudge her nude lipstick. “Because if I do, we’ll have to go back into your apartment and try not to wake your neighbours up.” She swats his chest and softly pushes him back, dissolving into a giggle.
“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” she says as her eyes shamelessly check him out. His sleeves are halfway folded stopping just below his elbow, beautifying his tattooed forearms.
He’s also wearing his favorite blue baggy jeans with his usual black chunky boots. The same ones he goes for when he knows _____ might not be able to bear the pain caused by her heels, so he ends up swapping them with the boots.
He would argue carrying her all the way to her apartment instead, but settles elseways.
Jungkook opens the car door for her and only after she’s well seated, he runs to his side and takes off.
The ride to the restaurant is quiet despite the obvious tension that doesn't go unnoticed by either him or her. As much as he would like to spend the rest of the night snuggled into bed with her, he knows there is something more significant than that. So instead he indulges in caressing her thigh.
“After you, angel.” He places a hand on the small of her back.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
The ambience looks straight out of the movies. Like a paradise. Violinists are playing a chorus of Fuck her gently by Tenacious D far across the room.
Jungkook catches an unknown look on her face. “Something’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, flashing him a smile. “I love this song.”
He places a tiny kiss on her temple. “I know, baby. C’mon.”
You know how women have this killer instinct of knowing if and when somebody’s watching them? It’s like they have a separate pair of googly eyes on the back of their head to protect them from creeps.
From the moment you have entered the place, the man in the wine shirt has been making a hole in your face with the way he’s been staring at you.
Is your dress too revealing? Are you showing too much skin?
“Oh I forgot to tell you. Your grandmother called earlier today.” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts.
You gulp down the last piece of steak before answering. “Let me guess she asked you to join her for thanksgiving?” He nods, a bright smile on his face. “I told her I would love to.”
A cheeky smile unfurls slowly on your face. Jungkook loves your grandmother. Maybe a little bit more than you do. Just a tiny bit though. Last year when you and he visited her, he was the first person apart from you to get a hug out of her.
Your grandma is not much of a hugger by the way. Her hugs are totally exclusive.
“I’m sure she loves having my ‘eye candy of a boyfriend’ there.”
Jungkook snorts, placing his fork down. “She called me an eye candy?”
He dissolves into a fit of laughter when you answer his question with a nod.
“See now that’s the biggest achievement I have had in a while. I mean what are the odds your wife’s grandma calls your an eye candy-”
Something sours in your stomach. The steak here tastes awful or maybe it’s just you feeling pathetic that as soon as he says ‘wife’ your expression morphs into something so dreadful that it causes him to stop. What are the odds that you just gave him a reality check and dragged him out of a fool’s paradise?
“Angel, what’s-”
You stand abruptly, cutting him off yet again. His eyes bob all over you, and then a sad frown puckers between his brows.
“I’ll just be back. I need to use the washroom.” You say as you grab your handbag as quickly as you can before leaving him there. Confused and wondering what the fuck just happened?
Few minutes later, just as you’re walking outside the washroom and making a way towards your table someone’s voice causes you to stop midway.
“Excuse me.”
Turning to face the person, you come face to face with the same man from earlier. The one wearing a wine colored shirt along with a nasty expression. You believe he’s trying to look cocky but is failing miserably.
“Can I help you?”
A slow smile spreads over his mouth. “I couldn’t help but notice that the man you’re here with seems to upset you in some way.”
An awkward chuckle leaves you. “The man is my boyfriend and I don’t think it concerns you if he’s upsetting me or not.”
He walks a little closer. Oh no, this is bad.
“Fair enough,” he shrugs, “But clearly he’s not being a good boyfriend, is he?”
The audacity of this man.
You huff out a frustrated breath, “Listen, you need to shut up and stay within your limits. It’s not healthy going around poking your nose into everyone’s business.”
His sly smile grows even more as he steps closer than before.
The hair on your body stands up, and not in a good way, but in a very uncomfortable way. You suddenly regret the idea of leaving Jungkook’s side. Bad, bad decision.
Currently, you have two options. You can either just walk off and act like nothing happened, which by the way, is a safe option or you can kick the man in the balls and then act like nothing happened.
Since you're much more accustomed to the former option, you decide to do just that but when his hands grip your wrist with an iron grip, you settle on the latter.
You knee him between the legs with an intention to hurt him as he grunts in pain, his hands gripping where you just kicked him.
“You fucking bitch.”
Before he can say anything further, you storm off. Your phone buzzes inside your handbag and you automatically assume it to be Jungkook’s call. As soon as you spot him across the room, you feel the clouds parting, there’s a feeling threatening to arise. It’s something between protected and anguished.
Anguished because you let your mind speak so deafeningly that it silenced the oh so loud love Jungkook has for you. And protected because you know for a fact that if he had any idea about what that man just did to you, he would not think twice before dragging him by the hair before bringing him to his knees in front of you to apologize.
He stands once he sees you and you waste no time running towards him. Your arms go around him as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. His arms immediately embracing you in return, securing you against his chest.
It feels warm.
Concern laces his voice as he says, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Breathe”
You don’t even realise you’re panting unless he says that. You’re aware that at this point the way you flung yourself at him must have got everyone’s attention. But you genuinely don’t care. It might as well be an auditorium full of people watching you hug your boyfriend like an anchor, you just don’t care.
You realise that’s exactly what Jungkook is. Your anchor. Someone who didn’t even ask as to what happened before he straight away began consoling you.
His hand envelops the back of your head in a protective way while the other soothes your back.
“Do you want to leave? We can leave right now if you want to.”
“Yes, please.”
His body shakes as though he just nodded. “All right, let me pay real quick and we’ll leave yeah?”
Your voice is muffled against his chest. “Yeah.”
You suck in a sharp breath as he lets you go. The small folder on the table grabs your attention. He opens it only to find a note inside of it saying— “It’s on me, gorgeous”.
You can see the wheels in his mind turning, but before he starts asking you any questions which may or may not cause a breakdown of yours, you say, “I’ll explain it to you outside. Can we please go?”
“Let me see wh-”
“Please?” He lets out a defeated sigh and nods. “Yeah- Yeah let’s go.”
˚୨୧⋆。˚
At first when Jungkook saw that note, the first emotion that he felt was rage and a very serious one at that. But it was soon replaced by realization. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that something nasty went down after _____ left to use the washroom. Something he can’t wait to get to the bottom of. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her to be pressured to answer the more obvious question.
Jungkook’s girl is attractive. She’s kind and empathetic and fucking stunning which makes her worthy of all the attention she gets. Of course men are going to want to be with her.
Initially, it bothered him. A lot.
Now, though? He’s grown rather used to it. However, it has never come to having someone pay for her in a restaurant. Even the thought of someone so much as speaking to her in an inhumanely manner makes him want to punch a hole through a wall.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
The silence is too loud inside the car. He can hear ____’s heart beating loudly or is it his own?
She’s leaning back with her head against the headrest. When she doesn’t respond, Jungkook speaks again, “_____ baby, will you please at least look at me?”
Her eyes connect with his and he flashes her the softest of smiles.
Taking her hand, he kisses the inside of her wrist where he can feel her pulse.
Thump thump thump.
“I want you to give me something, angel. Anything.”
He can see her gulp before admitting, “There was um… there was a guy outside the washroom and he kind of tried to force himself on me,” she closes her eyes for a brief moment, “Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I handled him.”
Jungkook’s stomach drops. He was right. His hands fly out to open the car door before _____ holds him back. “Don’t. I said I handled it.”
He turns back, his voice leaking with anger along with something more barbaric. “And I’m proud that you did, but if I don’t go in and beat that asshole into a new one I won’t be able to call myself a man worthy of you anymore. I need him to know that he can’t fuck with my girl and go about his goddamn day.” “Jungkook, please. I can’t take it anymore. Please stop.”
And he does. For now.
He leans back, running his hands over his face with frustration. For a few minutes he and ____ just stare outside the front glass of the car. The parking lot slowly gets empty as people leave for their homes one by one.
Just when he thinks _____ has dozed off, her voice reaches him. “Can I get one more hug?”
“Come here.”
He takes her into a warm embrace before kissing the top of her head, settling his lips there. His anger has yet not fully dissipated, but having her so close calms his heart. It calms his whole being. Her touch, her breath against his skin, her presence heals something in him.
Therefore, he made up his mind about spending his whole life with her. The little slip of words, which by the way was totally unintentional, soured _____'s expression and that didn’t go unnoticed by him.
She’s scared but he fully intends to let her know that she doesn’t have to.
______ unwraps herself from his arms and pushes back. Just enough for their noses to touch.
She shakes her head, “Don’t give me those eyes.”
Jungkook holds back a smile. “What eyes, angel?”
“The same ones you give me when you want something dirty to happen. Those big brown eyes of yours.”
He lets a chuckle slip out. “I’m down if you are.”
When she offers him her own laugh, gosh it’s as though he comes alive. If he could bottle up the sound, he would. Something passes in _____’s eyes. Lust? Desire? He can’t pinpoint.
He wants to kiss the hell out of her though and he wants to do it desperately. Her eyes drop to his mouth and he takes it as a sign to lean forward and press his mouth against hers.
Her lips part ever so slightly followed by her gripping Jungkook’s collar to bring him even closer. So close as if she wants their souls to intertwine.
The feeling is very much mutual.
She gets up from the passenger’s seat without breaking the kiss and straddles his lap. Her legs on either side of his thigh as their core’s touch. Jungkook is not sure how long he can endure this sweet pain of waiting.
In all sincerity, he’s been holding himself back from the very moment he saw her walking up to him in that dress. Do with that information what you will.
Now, he just wants to say fuck it and get inside her— only that he can’t, because he wants her to take her time and ask for it. Then and then only he will fuck her. If it’s inside this car then so be it.
The kiss is electric and filled with passion, tingling his skin in all the right places as she matches his enthusiasm with her own.
______ pulls back with a deep breath, leaving Jungkook panting heavily.
“Please.” she begs.
A strand of hair falls on her face. He tucks it behind her ear. “Please what baby?”
“Please fuck me, Jungkook. I want you so bad and I want you right now.” she whines.
He grins. “At your service, ma’am.”
He hears _____’s light chuckle as he gets out of the car, carrying her with him while also making sure she doesn’t hit her head on the hood. She detaches herself from him once they’re out and settles in the back seat. Only after ensuring she’s comfortable enough, Jungkook follows her.
His body lays on top of her and he wastes no time as their mouths collide. Her finger grip the hair on his nape and he groans with pleasure, his cock going thick. He rubs it on her lower stomach to show her how much he wants her, gaining a moan out of her.
Jungkook’s head goes fuzzy with every passing second. He almost comes when she lifts her hips up and rubs a slow circle against his cock.
“Fuck.” He groans, pulling back from the kiss. _____’s cheeks are heated and lips are swollen. He did that. Her man did that.
Suddenly, he’s grateful for the tinted glass and his big car.
_____ lifts her head up and kisses his sweaty cheek, swiping his forehead with her palm. “You’re sweating, honey.”
“Yeah, I tend to do that in your presence. Do you know how hard it was for me to stay sane after seeing you look so unbelievably gorgeous?”
She passes him a lazy smile, “You’ve always been so good at controlling yourself, haven’t you?”
“Not anymore.” He sits up, knees on either side of her body and starts unbuckling his belt all the while panting with excitement. His pants slide halfway down letting his cock spring free. Thick, angry and leaking with precum. His shirt goes next.
______’s eyes flash with lust as she bites her lower lip. The straps of her dress have slipped down, leaving her tits bare and open for Jungkook.
“I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.” he leans forward as she runs a hand up his bare spine, hooking her legs over his hip.
“Please.” she whispers.
A loud thunder outside the car grabs Jungkook’s attention. Nice, he’s so horny he didn’t even realise that it’s raining. Another rumble of thunder drowns their panting breath but he still only focuses on the woman beneath him. The goddess of a woman who trusts him with her body. How lucky he is to call her his own.
She brushes his hair out of his face, her thumb dusting over the mole on the bridge of his nose before her hand follows the path of his tattooed arm, his rib, his ass, until she wraps a fist around his dick.
He pushes into her hand. “I need to grab the condoms from the console, angel.”
There’s a brief moment of silence, the car filling with the pants and whimpers before she says, “I want you bare. I’m on the pill.”
Jungkook has never gone without condom nor has he considered going without one, but this woman right here just asked him to get inside her bare and fuck if it doesn’t tempt him.
And so he gives in, but not before asking, “Are you sure?”
“As sure as one can be.”
He nods, bringing his lips back to hers. His hand finds her thong under the dress as he slides it down her legs. Then he strokes a single line up and down her slit, wetting his finger with her cum. When he brings the same finger to his mouth and sucks on it, _____ all but whimpers.
His cock follows next and he does the same with it, rubbing himself up and down her slit as he coats himself in her before he presses his thumb down on the head of his cock, curls his hips forward, and pushes into her.
Tortuously slowly, inch by fucking inch.
She’s so warm and tight for him. He’s not sure how long he can take before he shoots his load inside of her.
“More.” she pleads, her face morphing into the most beautiful expression of pleasure.
Jungkook pulls back and pushes again, watching more of a length disappear inside of her. He’s not even halfway in and she’s already crying out his name.
Leaning in, he bites her neck in an attempt to give her his all. All his love, all his nights and all his life. The question is at the tip of his tongue but considering what happened inside, he quickly holds himself back.
“You’re doing so good for me, my angel. Taking me so well,” He thrusts again. “You’re made for me, aren’t you?”
She cries out.
“What was that?” She throws her head back. “Yes. Oh my god”
Thrust. “Yes, what baby? I’m gonna need you to say it.”
Jungkook takes her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it until she cries out again, “I’m made for you. Fuck.”
He releases the nipple with a loud pop. “That’s right you are.” His pelvic bone is flush with hers, ____’s legs as wide as possible to accommodate him. She dusts her fingertips up and down his spine while he slowly kisses along her jaw.
When she pushes her heels into his ass, urging him to move, he pulls out part way before pushing back in again.
She lets out a moan quickly followed by his own. _____’s hands run over Jungkook’s abs, nipples, and wrap around his shoulders.
He’s fucking her slowly, taking his time, feeling her body and letting her feel his too. Every brush, every graze, every breath is precious to him.
Soft and intimate.
So when the next words leave Jungkook’s mouth, he blames it on the moment. “Marry me.”
_____’s eyes which were closed earlier, savoring the very moment, pop open and his movement halts.
“What?”
“Fuck. Okay, I know this is not a position or place a woman wants to be proposed in, but I have to say this before I go insane. _____, I know you’re scared and I also know the reason behind it. Of course, I won’t ask you why you kept that part a secret from me, because I respect you and want you to take your time. But baby,” he brushes his thumb over her cheekbone, “I need you to know that I will die before I let anything like that go down between us. I love you so much you don’t even realise. Sometimes I even shock myself with how much I cherish you. You’re a gift to me, a gift which brings out the best not just in me but in everyone she meets.”
He places a small kiss on her forehead before continuing, “I can go anywhere, see everything but it still wouldn’t match the level of affection I hold for you in my heart. Still wouldn’t match the beauty of your smile, you amazing woman. You’re all I have ever wanted. So please, make me the happiest motherfucker in the world by saying ye-”
“Yes”
‘What?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you. Now will you please shut up fuck me like you promised, husband?”
He bites her jaw, “Oh, I’ll fuck you so nice you’ll be begging for more, wife.”
Soon enough, _____’s lower lip trembles as her orgasm takes over, and he has the privilege to watch it all. The fluttering of her lashes, the marks of her nail down his arm and the way she calls him her husband again when she’s able to find her words.
He’s so gone.
About half an hour later when he asks her again as to what changed her mind about marriage, she says something so deep yet in such a casual way, he wants to cry.
“When I hugged you inside, you didn’t ask questions. You just let me be and that may seem like a miniscule thing for someone else, but for me it was enough. Enough to stay with you until I turn all wrinkly and grey haired.”
#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts#jungkook scenario#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#bts x reader#jungkook imagine#bts scenario#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts smut#bts jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook series#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook oneshot#fluff
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synopsis. Just Toji fucking you angrily from behind.
warnings: èxplícít smüt, ràw sèx, 18+ thèmès, fúckíng fròm bèhínd, ángry fúckíng, hátè fückíng, mèán tójí, únprótèctèd sèx. mdní
note. HAPPYYYY NEWWWW YEARRRRRRRRRRR GUYSSSSS!!!! let’s start this year with nasty filthy smut. lmao I hope this year will be great for us all mentally butttttt if yall follow me? Your year will be the greatest. <33 please re-blog. And follow me hehe
He’s fucking you so hard it hurts your tightening hole.
Toji Fushiguro’s anger and frustrations always have you laying on your stomach as he fucks you from behind, hard and fast as he grips your as, digging his nails into the fragile skin.
He’s been at it for hours, you don’t understand what has got him so frustrated and angry, but you don’t dare to ask him about that because whenever you do, he shoves something into your mouth and gags you.
“nghhh aghhh ahhh!~” you scream into the mattress as he shows your face deeper into the soft bed, his cock feels so hard.
He’s literally splitting you open, you can hear his labored breathing, his groans, the weight of his body is actually too much, he’s so freaking heavy.
He’s always been a muscular and big guy so this is really a struggle for you right now, but it feels so fucking good too.
That is the problem.
“ugh FUCKKK. This tight hole is fucking good.
His language has always been crude and the way he’s fucking you right now. It’s like he’s punishing you, but this punishment is so confusing because it’s pleasurable and yet so painful.
Your boyfriend is a man who is hard to understand, he loves you, but he also fucks you like he hates you.
His dick will probably kill you.
Hes came inside you so many times. It’s dark out at this hour, but he has no intentions of stopping.
“Oh yn- ugh I’m gonna fuckin cum.” He growls, his voice is going throughout the bedroom, the bedroom reeks of smoke sweat, and sex.
Your body feels like jelly. It’s like you have no energy to mutter a single word out. His hips keep working their pace.
It’s so painful.
You want him to stop but it’s impossible when he’s fucking knew so hard that you are seeing stars. You grip on the mattress tighter. He’s pistoning in and out of you.
Toji stands behind you, his eyes burning with unrestrained fury as he glares at your back.
He’s so angry, as he fucks your hole raw.
His hands are balled into fists, fingers digging into his palms.
He’s not angry at you—not directly… but you can feel it radiating off of him, the heat of his frustration simmering dangerously close to the surface.
“You think I don’t know what’s going on?”
he mutters, his voice harsh, like it’s barely holding itself together.
The words aren’t aimed at you, but the way he says them, low, threatening—makes your skin prickle. “You think you can keep pushing me without consequences?”
He steps closer, the air around you tightening as his breath grows heavier. His frustration is palpable, like a storm ready to tear everything in its path.
His voice drops, a growl building in his chest. “I’ve had enough of this shit. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?”
He’s so close now, his body looming behind yours, and you can feel the anger and something else, something darker, burning in him.
It’s not just the tension of being forced to hold it in—it’s everything building up that he can’t quite control anymore.
“You’re making me fucking lose it,” he seethes, his voice thick with irritation and raw need.
His hand brushes the small of your back, dangerously close, as if he’s trying to anchor himself in something real. “I don’t know whether to break something or… something else.”
“So gonna fucking break you instead.”
His words send shivers down your spine because you know that he means it and tonight your body is gonna be broken in more ways than one.
His breathing quickens, but it’s not out of desire for you—not entirely. It’s the anger, the frustration spilling over, and he’s taking it out on you, because it’s easier than confronting whatever’s really eating at him.
He’s going to cum again.
You’re driving me crazy,” he mutters, the words sharp and desperate. “And I’m fucking done being patient.”
Every word drips with pent-up aggression, frustration, and an undeniable hunger that mixes with his anger, making him unpredictable and wild.
He has always been unpredictable.
“ASS UP.”
He forces your ass up, angling himself deeper into you as he fucks you both renewed vigor
You’re drooling, he pulls at your hair hard, you’re scalp burns add the sensation, and you let out a yelp of pain, but it changes into a a moan of pleasure as he hits that one particular spot.
“Mhmm yeah you slut admit it you loved me and fucked like this with by me. You know what you are. You are my little fucking doll that I love destroying when I’m angry.”
You mewl, he’s right.
But no words coming out because he’s literally fucking you senseless. And you are loving it.
“This new year better not be shit or else. I’m gonna fucking kill someone.”
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#yandere toji#yandere jjk#fushiguro smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere toji fushiguro#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere au#smut#yandere smut#toji smut#jujutsu toji
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
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Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.�� You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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the dark side ? british tourists still not realizing what drowning is
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#stream#like … girl ? 😭😭😭#i was soooo happy when they called off the search for this mf like sorry king but yea uh he just got fucked up & then drowned#like …. girl ….. the dark side …. mixing alcohol w water …… or drugs & water but the Water is also the Unforgiving Ocean#like idk what british ppl r thinking when they go abroad get absolutely plastered like do yall want …. the citizens to take care of u ? bro#like 😭😭😭 get a grip ?#idk i mean my dream is to disappear but i know sure as FUCK it won’t be in the CANARY ISLANDS#u think i’m dying in spanish owned land ? THINK AGAIN#I WILL OUTLIVE SPAIN OUT OF SPITE ALONE FUCK YALL & FUCK UR KING#IDCIDCIDCIDC#spain hater level 99#britain hater level 99#i love the portuguese bc they also get upset when u say brazil invented portuguese#like hmm#maybe u shouldn’t have put so much of a population outside ur territory if u wanted to maintain ur language …#mozambique ? PUT PORTUGESE ON THE MAP#ANGOLA EVEN ?????
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