#also we love angry jealous rhys

[toporecall]

Chapter 3. Held Captive By The Ribbon 'Round My Neck

ok so like...don't kill me but there is a bit of mildly unhinged tamlin smut in this so sorry but its important to character development!!

AO3 or read under the cut

Prev chapters: [1] [2]

Chapter Summary: Feyre fantasizes about a certain High Lord, has an enlightening encounter with Tamlin, and tries to gain some power

Don’t let them change you, Feyre. In this world, you need to be your own weapon. Don’t ever forget that and don’t ever let them take your power.

Rhys’s words echoed in her head all the rest of the evening and through dinner. 

There was a silent agreement that no further negotiations would take place until the following day. Dinner was tense but cordial enough and eventually everyone began to retire to their rooms. Most people were staying at Spring Court overnight so negotiations could continue in the morning. It was an odd feeling, knowing how much power rested under one roof—at once comforting and frightening. It left Feyre feeling ill eat ease as she readied herself for bed. 

It was a warm night and she had her windows open. The room was only lit by the nearly full moon and a light breeze billowed the curtains every few minutes. Feyre washed herself and put on a sleeveless white nightdress that came to just above her knees. The top was made of lace, just opaque enough to hide what was beneath. It was one of the few pieces of clothing she’d been given here that she really enjoyed wearing—the tease of scandal hidden by the soft swirls of lace was enticing to her.

She laid on top of the sheets and let the warm breeze from the window wash over her skin as she stared out at the night sky lost in her own thoughts. The night sky was, of course, reminiscent of a certain male she was trying intently to keep out of her thoughts. She was no fool—she had recognized that feeling of anticipation building within her earlier. She knew she couldn’t even begin to entertain the idea of a dalliance with anyone, let alone another High Lord.

But it was impossible not to think about the way he looked at her, the way it seemed like he was one of the only people who really saw her. The way that every time she looked in his direction at the dinner table that evening, he seemed to already be looking her way as well.

Feyre’s hands began to drift—one sliding over the satiny fabric of her nightdress gathered between her legs, the other over her breasts, creating delicious friction with the lace over her sensitive nipples. She could indulge in just a little fantasy, right? It’s not as if anyone would ever know. And if she rubbed in just the right way she wouldn’t even need to go under her clothes…

Feyre heard the unmistakeable sound of a footstep outside of her room just in time to pull her hands back to her sides before the door opened. Tamlin walked in, shutting and locking the door behind him and Feyre hoped desperately that the moonlight was dim enough he wouldn’t be able to see her flushed skin.

“Tamlin,” she spoke softly, trying to steady her voice, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Can’t a male pay his soon-to-be wife a visit?”

He pulled his shirt off and his muscled chest reflected the soft light of the moon. He began unbuckling his belt.

“Of course. I just thought with the guests here—”

“I’m not shy.” He climbed on the bed and over her, already hardening against her core as he buried his face against her neck. And suddenly, Feyre understood that his coming in here had very little to do with sex. Or, rather, had very little to do with desire. This was a reclaiming of power. A reminder of her position, of what was expected of her. She had toed the line today—at the meeting, in Tamiln’s office, in the archery game—and this was a reminder of what she was really here to do: to be a High Lord’s wife. 

Tamlin kissed a line down her throat, his hand running up her thigh to graze across her center.

“Wet for me already?” he murmured against the skin of her chest. 

“Mhmm,” she hummed. Maybe it was lucky she’d been touching herself just before he came in here.

 He pulled her panties off and pushed her nightdress up her waist. “Always ready for me. I love that about you.” 

He let his hard cock slide against her center, looking down at her with his green eyes. Feyre whimpered each time he slid himself up and brushed her clit. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy sex with Tamiln. She had, after all, fallen for him enough to agree to marry him. It was just that once they were engaged and the rush of a new relationship had worn off, he seemed to settle into something perfunctory. There was a distinct lack of presence that left her always wanting something more.

Tamlin leaned down and kissed her, capturing her lower lip between his teeth.

“You want this?” he asked, still teasing her entrance. Feyre nodded. He pushed into her and she whined at the sudden stretch. “That’s right.”

His teeth were at her collarbone then and he didn’t give her any time to adjust before setting a bruising rhythm. Feyre was breathless. The feeling of being filled did satisfy something primal within her but she kept feeling her thoughts drift and was becoming increasingly unable to keep herself from the awareness that somewhere in that building Rhys was in his bed, maybe thinking about her, maybe touching himself thinking about the things he wanted to—

Stop. Nope. Not going there.

Feyre slipped a hand between them, putting pressure on her clit as Tamlin fucked her. He seemed to like that, groaning against her skin. He pulled back slightly and slid a hand over her lower abdomen, pressing down in a way that made Feyre able to feel him deep inside of her. She whined and he laughed low under his breath.

“Soon we’ll be married,” he said, continuing to press down as he fucked her, “and I’ll fill you up the way I really want to. Put a baby in here so everyone who sees you knows you’re mine.”

Feyre moaned despite herself. She was very much not ready for that part of her life but something about the primal possessiveness of his speech soothed her in a strange way.

Tamlin’s thrusts became more erratic. He pulled out and moved his hand before finishing where he’d just been pressing on her. 

There was little ceremony after. He got her a towel to clean herself up, gave her a quick kiss goodnight, and went off to his own room, leaving Feyre alone once again. She hadn’t finished but the idea of touching herself now seemed less appealing. 

Power. She was learning that’s what it all came down to in this world—power.

Feyre didn’t want to be powerless. She didn’t want to be just a pretty bride filled with children. She wanted to do something, to protect her people. 

Suddenly, Beron’s voice floated through her mind: Surely a girl like you is smart enough to understand where her power lies.

And Feyre knew what she needed to do.

She did nothing more to prepare than to wash up again and tidy her hair before slipping out of her room and tiptoeing through the halls, going as far as holding her breath as she passed Tamlin and Lucien’s doors.

Maybe power didn’t look like what she thought when she’d arrived here but she wouldn’t be powerless. She’d spent her whole life in Spring Court and she’d be damned if she didn’t do all she could to help them. 

It was the middle of the night and the house was deserted, even of servants. She walked as softly and silently as possible to the other wing of the house where the guests slept. She’d caught a glimpse of Ianthe’s notes earlier that day and knew where each High Lord was sleeping.

Knew exactly where she could find Beron.

She climbed the stairs and turned down the hall where both the Winter Court and Autumn Court’s rooms were. Last door on the left. That’s where she would find Beron.

Her heart was hammering so loudly in her chest she was almost surprised it wasn’t echoing off the marble floors. She passed the first door, the second, the third, and finally stopped with her hand on the knob of the fourth and final door. The marble was cool under her bare feet but she felt uncomfortably hot, even in just her nightdress.

She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly through pursed lips to try to steady her nerves.

She’d open the door in three…two…

“Feyre,” a voice whispered from her left. 

It took all her willpower not to screech as she let go of the knob and jumped back from the door. She instinctively threw a hand over her mouth to silence her surprise. 

Rhysand stood in front of her, still fully dressed in his usual dark, well tailored clothing. Even in the dark hallway, his violet eyes seemed to shine. Feyre had no idea how he’d snuck up on her in the silence of the sleeping house. She hadn’t heard a single thing. Maybe the beating of her own heart had drowned out his steps.

She was struggling to catch her breath after that shock.

“I know what you’re doing,” he whispered.

“Then you also know why I’m doing it,” she whispered back. She didn’t bother questioning how he knew what she was doing. He seemed to know a lot of things he shouldn’t.

He eyed her carefully and she wasn’t sure if she imagined the heat in his gaze as he clocked her state of undress. Feyre felt goosebumps crawl across her skin and hoped it was too dark for him to notice. 

“There are other ways to help the people of Spring.”

“You said it yourself—I need to be my own weapon.”

He looked like he wanted to argue her point but was also wary of waking someone. “This was not what I meant,” he hissed.

Feyre took a bold step toward him, leaving only inches between their toes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she marveled at how much her life had changed. She’d gone from hearing rumors and stories of the Lord of Nightmares to standing toe to toe with him in her nightclothes.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t do the same for your people,” she said.

He did look her in the eyes. For a few long moments they stared each other down. His jaw clenched and unclenched until he finally sighed exasperatedly and looked at the ceiling instead.

“Just…be careful, Feyre. You’re playing a dangerous game.” He lifted a hand like he might reach out and touch her but then thought better of it, letting it drop back by his side. He looked at her for another long moment before turning and walking off silently toward his own room in another hall.

“I know,” Feyre whispered, so quietly she was almost sure he wouldn’t be able to hear her. 

She took a few moments to breathe and to steady her nerves before turning back to the door. Her hand rested on the cool metal of the knob. She could feel her pulse in her fingers, making the knob feel like a living thing beneath her hand.

She tried to get up the nerve to start her countdown again. Three, two, one and she’d go in and get it done. The people of Spring would have a place to go in the likely event they needed one. One night and she could potentially save thousands of people. 

Three, two, one. So simple.

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath, letting go of the knob. “Fuck.”

She turned and went back to her own room. She couldn’t do it. Something about her interaction with Rhys had gotten under her skin. She threw herself onto her bed and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. 

So close. She’d been so close to getting up the nerve to go through with it.

She turned on her side, shunning the moon and stars behind her. She tried her hardest to let her thoughts drift and to fall asleep but to no avail. She spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in her bed until the sun started to rise and the morning light broke over the horizon.

--------------

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[theshadowsingersraven]

this nyxlin drama lowkey reminds me of the time a zutara artist was run off tumblr because they drew aged up katara/zuko romantically, but I think it was actually angry kataang’s or e/riel’s -because they also drew gwynriel and e/riel’s were jealous- who were stirring up shit 😭

That would honestly make a lot of sense for how/why I didn't see many posts from them or overall in the Nyxlin tag when I was catching up on what happened. Pretty much every person (notably largely Elriels) who supported Elain Week's censorship got an insta-block from me if they weren't already. And I'm sure a decent amount of people blocked me from my stance on Elaingate, Rhys Week, and Nyxlin Week.

And good! You should block me. Seriously. Art has the right to be celebrated and appreciated, especially in the circumstances designed to do that for a specific character and dynamic! Character appreciation and celebration will never look the same to everyone, and just because it's not what you enjoy doesn't mean it stops being appreciative or celebratory. If you can't grasp that, you don't deserve access to my art anyway. You certainly don't deserve to be in my space, that's for damn sure. Kindly, get out.

Honestly, it kind of makes sense considering the overlap of canon rigidity, purity culture, and morality policing of fiction coming from sides of the fandom that generally can't accept criticism about their faves, or even things that go against what they want for their faves. They are terrified of creativity that doesn't give them what they want and it shows. It's the most Evangelical-ass shit ever, and it's fucking weird.

Like...for all intents and purposes, Nyx is an OC in any works that feature him. And I'd know, because I wrote an adult Nyx for my ongoing ACOTAR D&D campaign set 20 years after ACOSF. So yes, Nyx is twenty in my timeline, because it's writing and I can do what I want lol. I have no basis to write Nyx off of other than Rhys and Feyre. Which means...I'm still doing my own character-building to only less than I would for a completely new OC.

Let's compare, shall we?

Writing my OC Solara's backstory: Writing her parents from scratch ✔�� Writing her early childhood ✔️ Writing her trauma ✔️ Writing her adolescence and relationships ✔️ Writing her interests and adventures as she became an adult✔️ Writing her dynamic with her love interest and how she interacts with Prythian as a whole ✔️

Now obviously these are all at minimum influenced by/will be derivative of aspects of ACOTAR because, y'know, transformative works. But still, I made her.

Writing Nyx's backstory and how he is as a twenty-year-old adult: Writing his parents from scratch ❌ Writing his early childhood ✔️ Writing any trauma he might have ✔️ Writing his adolescence and relationships ✔️ Writing his interests and adventures as he became an adult ✔️ Writing his dynamic (collaboratively) with his love interest and how he interacts with Prythian as a whole ✔️

And this is a version of Nyx that I made. Yes, it's still influenced by canon, but if I put in 90% of the same effort to write him as an adult as I did a complete OC, we can acknowledge they're functionally the same.

It's not that people look at Baby!Nyx and instantly think he's perfect to be shipped with someone and there's something to be gleaned from canon about him in particular. We know nothing about Nyx as an individual. That applies to any Nyx ship.

The appeal, at least in my experience, to Nyx ships, including Nyxlin, is the dynamics at play around Nyx, i.e., his role as an eventual leader and powerful figure in the Night Court, the dynamics that affect Rhys and Feyre also extending to him, how the rest of Prythian/Illyria might view the first offspring of High Fae, Illyrian, and Made parents. It's about his circumstances, not him as a character because he is not a "character yet", he just exists!

People are just creative enough to consider those long-term effects on who he could become and how that interplays with other characters. I don't mean to be cruel, but genuinely, have these people never created an OC before? Have they never shipped anything outside of canon? Have they never read any fics featuring time travel, for example, as a plot point to get characters in the same era at the same time when otherwise the ship would not be able to happen? Are they that unfamiliar with making circumstances outside of SJM's canon to allow things to happen for fun?

Genuinely, the lack of creativity for all of us being in this for reading and writing is concerning.

Even just saying this and advocating for Nyxlin's right to be celebrated as well as Tamlin as a whole pretty much puts me in the position of having to tag this as pro-Tamlin. And I wouldn't even describe myself as anything other than Pro-Azriel and probably Pro-Nesta and Pro-Elain because I don't really dislike any characters. I'm equally as critical to all of them and if their good parts just sort of cancel out the bad or are only a bit outweighing one or the other...I don't actively dislike them, I'm just neutral about them.

But this fandom is so fucking polarized because of the toxicity and the Us v.s. Them, Morality Policing culture that's been festering, people can't even neutrally address something. People are harassed so quickly just for not understanding or being familiar with something, and then in the other court people do the harassing because they don't understand or aren't familiar with something the other party likes/dislikes. If don't utterly despise Tamlin, it's somehow considered supportive enough to qualify as "pro" to antis.

Too many people in this fanbase create this parasocial-adjacent attachment to these characters like they're real and have real feelings/boundaries that need to be protected. They are not! Characters can't be hurt by anything happening outside the narrative. Just because you personally do not like something/don't find it appealing or even find it discomforting does not mean it's morally objectionable. It's just not for you, and understanding that experiencing content not made for you is not an attack on you is kind of a necessary life skill.

This rant ended up way longer than I expected it to be, but anyway...y'all stay safe out there.

[lovemyromance]

In your opinion, what do you think the plot will be focused on in Elain and Azriel’s book?

So, I think similar to the Nessian book, the Elriel book will also feature some kind of encounter with Koschei.

We don't really know much about him yet. I feel like he kinda just popped up in ACOSF and we know he can control people somehow, he has women trapped to a lake somewhere, Vassa was cursed by him, etc.

Nesta faces off Briallyn in ACOSF, but the queen was just a pawn in Koschei's game. I think in the Elriel book, the conflict will have gotten more serious, and the stakes will be much higher.

I think it will take place post HOFAS. Rhys & IC are stressing about the trove objects, Nesta has the starsword, and Azriel has TT back.

I like the theory that Elain knew Bryce was coming, and she warned Azriel already. Maybe that was what broke their post-solistice bonus chapter stalemate.

Rhys might finally see the value Elain has to the court, and so he and Amren kind of encourage her to explore her powers. Rhys might demand Amren train her, but then Amren says Azriel is best suited for this task. Rhys gets angry and tells Azriel to "keep it professional".

Elain starts to train with Azriel. I think Elain has some kind of insane powers of life (if Nesta had death). I think she is the embodiment of "the Mother" and she will have some kind of creation powers. I also really love this idea that she can create Made Objections, like her iron engagement ring.

Maybe Azriel takes her to Rosehall to "clear her mind" and introduces her to his mother. Maybe he takes her on a spying mission, and challenges her to find the information before he does. Their relationship could be so playful, don't you see the vision?? My girl Elain is so funny, I have no doubt she'll make Azriel laugh again (and god does he need some joy).

They'll fall more and more in love, Azriel will have a "I cannot stay away" moment, he'll tell Elain everything, and Elain will confess she loves him first.

Obviously there will be a Hewn city chapter, for some reason we always end up there. Then we'll have the classic jealousy scene where Azriel gets jealous of Lucien at some point. Then Elain finds out she can reject the bond and she wants to do it immediately but Azriel tells her to think about what she's giving up.

Then I really think the Koschei conflict will come more into play through Lucien asking the IC/Elain for help with breaking Vassa's curse. Or through Koshchei just making his first attack on them.

I think as Elain is trying to help, something will happen to Azriel and Elain will have to save him ('Sleeping Beauty' theory anyone?). I don't think she will fully defeat Koschei, as I think SJM will save that for the final book, but she will defeat some part of him like how Nesta defeated Briallyn.

Then she'll reject the mating bond and choose Azriel, or the Elucien mating bond wasn't real this entire time (a la Maeve), or Azriel is also her mate - doesn't matter! Elriel will end up together I am sure of it.

Either way, their book will be amazing and I cannot wait.

[careblairxoxo]

So I made a TikTok about how Nesta’s trauma isn’t an excuse for her behaviour and this is one of the comments I got, so I just wanna elaborate that although Nesta’s trauma was terrible there is absolutely NO REASON to abuse everyone around you because of your trauma, you cannot justify hurting anyone else because you are hurt that is just Fucked up. And that got me thinking if Nesta stans want to justify her shity actions on her trauma why can’t we justify other characters actions on their trauma,

So here is Rhysand’s trauma

Rhysand’s Trauma

* Was thrown into a war camp at eight years old when he was sent to the Illyrian war camp for training by his mother, Where he was brutally beaten up and stripped of his clothes (After his mother tended to his wounds, he noticed one of the boys that beat him that day going into a cave to sleep, he had enough decency at EIGHTH to go ask him if he wanted to stay with him)

* After years of hard training, he entered the Rite where he had to fight his way through Illyrians who wanted to kill him for being a Half breed, to find his brothers who he didn’t know if they were still alive or not.., he then had to slaughter most of the Illyrians because they were trying to kill his brothers too

* He constantly had the mental weight of having to know that he has to become the HL without ever having a choice in what he wants. And always wanting to be better then his forefathers.

* He was told his whole life by partners that no one wanted to shoulder the burden of being his lady as it was too risky for them. Therefore he believed he could never be loved.

* The First war happened where he was separated from his brothers, by his jealous father.

* After every battle went through EVERY SINGLE DEAD ILLYRIAN to make sure they weren’t his brothers.

* Rhys was captured by Amarantha

* Rhysand’s wings were bolted and chains to nullify his high fae powers during that time. And tortured him as well.

* Rhys was forced to watch the slaughter of Jurian as Amarantha ripped him apart for days.

* Rhys felt guilty when being rescued by his father but not being able to be at the final battle due to healing his wings. He was forced back by his father.

* His ABUSIVE father wouldn’t let the healers heal his wings as punishment so he was sent to the cabin to wait until his wings were healed BY HIMSELF, it was there he got the news of the war ending and a peace treaty being made where Amarantha and the King of Hybern were let go with no responsibility for the atrocities they committed.

* Rhys and the other bat boys had ptsd after the war (they all changed). He felt so angry that Amarantha didn’t get any consequences for what she had done thanks to the treaty after the war. Even his father ordered him to let it go but he never forgave Amarantha.

* He was sent his mother and sisters heads in a box down the river, by Tamlin and his family,

* He was also supposed to be there so the immense amount of guilt he must have felt not being there to protect them from that atrocity…

* He was never able to to find their wings constantly thinking Tamlin still kept them as trophies just like Tamlins father had.

* His father in seeking revenge for his wife and young daughter was slaughtered in front of Rhys

* He was now left with responsibility of being High Lord of the Night Court after losing his entire family a family a few days prior

* He felt a little smug when Tamlin’s father was killed since he was Amarantha’s friend it was a small consolation for what she had done to his soldiers. (Including this to show how much his soldiers meant to him).

* When Amarantha returned he and Tamlin were the only one’s mistrusting her, and thanks to how close Tamlin knew Amarantha he knew she hadn’t changed so he decided he’d kill her to protect Prythian and to claim revenge, that’s why he went UTM. He didn’t tell anyone about it

* His powers got stripped away again from Amarantha during the party UTM like all HL’s. But before losing all his powers to wipe the minds from the men from court of nightmares to protect Velaris. “I threw the shield around Velaris, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing, and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening, and to stay away. Within a few seconds, my powers belonged wholly to Amarantha.” (S.520, chapter 54).

* Amarantha then slaughtered half the court of nightmares right then and there. He tells why looking haunted and bleak and he knew that he would do anything to keep her from looking towards his court again or the people he loved.

* He let her sleep with him so she could get her revenge on his father’s ghost and to let her from looking toward his loved ones.

* He wanted her dead everytime he was inside of her but he hid that from her by giving her more pleasure so she started to trust him.

* Everyone sneered at him calling him whore and other cruel names when he did it all to protect his family.

* “I hated myself, but I was glad to do it. (missions for Amarantha) After a decade, I stopped expecting to see my friends or my people again. I forgot what their faces looked like. And I stopped hoping.” (S. 521, chapter 54).

* It was only when he starts to see images of feyres life that he stared to have hope of a normal life again. When he saw feyre and she looked at him he realise she didn’t knew him that he might have seen her dreams but she hadn’t seen his. He realised he had to let her go before Amarantha found out anything about her so he walked away. He knew they would do unspeakable things to her if they found out she was his mate so he didn’t even dare thinking it. But deep down he knew. He was thinking feyre be glad to get rid of him (p. 522).

* “There you were. Living in my second-most enemy’s house. Dining with him. Reeking of his scent. Looking at him like…like you loved him.” (P.523).

* Rhys went into feyres mind to scare her enough to go home and he did the same to Tamlin so he would send Feyre home. So Feyre wouldn’t break the curse because Amarantha would kill her.

* After he left he threw up.

* He thought feyre made up Clare’s name and was shock the girl was real.

* So when Amarantha tortured and killed her he took away her pain. But after a week of seeing her tortured he couldn’t let them them continue so he went into her mind and ended it. She didn’t feel any pain.

* And Rhys admits he still see Clare’s face, his men’s faces and the others that he killed for Amarantha. (P.524)

* He never felt a horror like he did when Feyre made her bargain with Amarantha. He had to watch the disgust and hatred in Feyre’s face when she looked at him. So he pretended, always pretended to be the person that Feyre hated.

* The fact Amarantha saw Rhys getting jealous when Tamlin kissed Feyre UTM and he had to service her right after for longer than usual?!

* When she tortured feyre after the final trial the mating bond snapped and he wanted to kill Amarantha or die with Feyre. “I knew right then what you were. I knew you were my mate, and you were in love with another male, and had to destroy yourself to save him. (P 526.)

* He talked to all HL to save Feyre as she died and all agreed to save her only to see her being held by Tamlin and kissing her. He wanted to go home straight away but he had to stay and see that she was okay.

* On the balcony the mating bond became permanent since feyre had become fae. But he knew if he freed her from the bargain Tamlin would lock her away and he never see her again.

* He left Feyre so he wouldn’t take her with him because he knew she was going to hate him then.

* He told himself Feyre would be better without him and that she hated him so he was going to let her be happy and marry Tamlin. Even if it killed him.

* “It killed me, Feyre, to send you back. To see you waste away, month by month. It killed me to know he was sharing your bed. Not just because you were my mate, but because I…I knew I was in love with you the moment I picked up the knife to kill Amarantha.” (P. 528.).

* He decided to not let her out of the bargain right away because if there was a chance she’d love him, she would be taken from him like the rest of his family had.

* He then had to watch as that same man slowly started killing her again through is neglect and controlling behaviour.

* He was ready to watch the love of his life marry the man who killed his family if that brought her happiness

* He never told her they were mates because he didn’t want her to shoulder the burden of being with him as he thought he was unworthy after 50 years of 🍇 and what his other partners told him

* Feyre said Rhys doesn’t feel like he deserves someone like feyre that he doesn’t deserve love at all.

* He had to watch as his mate went back to her abuser so he could save her sisters and his brothers

* He died because he wanted his friends and family to have a better chance at life even if he never saw it

* Even after a year of being together Rhys still believes Feyre deserves better and can’t believe she actually loves him “it's hard sometimes," I admitted, staring toward the snow. coated field outside the house, the training rings and dwellings beyond it, "to remember that she picked it. Picked me. That it's not like my parents, shoved together."

* Learned that his mate would die from childbirth along with him.

* Shouldered the burden of that pain so Feyre could enjoy the pregnancy they wanted more then anything

* The man who bows to no one but his kingdom was on his knees begging Helion to save Feyre.

* He still wakes from nightmares about what happened to him UTM and now nightmares of what will happen in the future with Feyre dying again with him along side her

[youareatragedy]

The number of people who hate Nesta while being the IC's hardcore stan is astronomical.

There are those Fayre's stans who are jealous and irritated by the fact that Nesta exists outside of her mate—her life and story are vast and don’t revolve around Cassian alone. In fanart of Feyre, we rarely see her depicted without Rhys. The traits most often associated with Feyre are her glorified fake consort title and her identity as a painter. Meanwhile, Nesta is frequently shown in fanart wearing her leathers, reading, as a Valkyrie, with her Valkyrie sisters, or as a badass Lady Death. People tend to talk about Nesta and Cassian on more equal footing, while Rhys is more popular than Feyre, even though Feyre has three books centered on her and Nesta has only one.

And that’s the fault in these so-called Nesta antis. They hate Nesta because they’re angry she gets more love than Feyre. They’re mad that Nesta’s character is unique, not something you often see in romantasy's FMC, which makes her stand out more. Of course, they’re also angry at Nesta because to them, the IC’s and Rhysand’s words are law. They made Rhys more popular than Feyre because they love him more, way more. And they hate that most of Nesta’s stans don’t glorify Cassian the way they do Rhys. They can’t stand that SJM chose Nesta to be that powerful and that happy with her chosen family, while Feyre is stuck with her husband’s family, whose loyalty is first and foremost to Rhys.

[nestastits]

Heyyyy!!!

I've got two questions

Favourite Nessian moment EVER

2. One thing you'd like to see in the next book

Have a good day 💕

Sorry it has taken me so long to answer this 😣.

1: Literally every scene 😭. There are so many. They are so special to me for so many reasons. But if I had to choose just one for this post I will have to go with the nightmare scene in acosf.

The nightmare was where we see the affect cassian has on Nesta and her power. Which I find very interesting. I sort of see Nesta’s power as more of its own thing. Like it has a mind of its own. I guess like a Venom type situation? If you’re a marvel fan you’ll understand my reference🤣. But Nesta can still tell it what to do. Anyways, in this scene Nesta is lost in her memories that have turned into nightmares and Rhys can’t break through her shields. He can’t contain her power either. It is Cassian who calms Nesta down with his voice and touch. And her power answers in return to him. It calls out when it hears him. And Nesta reaches out for him too. The morning after Nesta remarks on how it was Cassian’s voice that she followed to safety enough to let her mental shields down for Rhys to get her out of the nightmare. Then she talks about how Cassian looked like one of the warrior-princes from one of her childhood books which I thought was a very tender moment considering how harsh Nesta’s childhood was. And I’ve always seen Nesta as a romance reader (with some smut thrown in of course) dreaming of having her own warrior prince and now she finally has one. It’s also a scene where we first see Nesta allow herself to cry for how much someone else cares for her which is a breakthrough in her healing. Cassian also shows how much he cares for her during this scene and how uncomfortable he was seeing her in pain.

2: Honestly idk 😅. The next book could be an Elucien or Gwynriel book or potentially another Nesta book with the foreshadowing of hofas and sjm herself saying acosf was only Nesta’s happy beginning. But logically I think it will be an Elain/lucien book which I am all for!

As much as I love Night Court I’m hoping Elain will be the one to leave since she isn’t meant for that court anyways. Elain is definitely either a day court or spring court girly! I hope we see her really come into herself and see what’s in her mind. I think her story will be much different from her sisters’ because of her being the one who actually holds resentment towards being turned Fae. Elain loved her human life, she was content in marrying having children and growing old and dying. And now? Now she has to learn to live forever and what challenges come with it. She lost the only chance she had at happiness even if Graysen was yucky, she did love him and I think he loved her to an extent too. Or at least the idea of her. I’m also excited to be in Lucien’s pov finally! And I’m curious at how the bond between them will play out considering Elains wariness of it. I want a Elain x Eris brotp too😤.

I also think Elain is not a fan of the bond because she has a want to be seen by someone for who she is not because fate drives them together. I think it will be hard on her because she is already aware of the bond and it’s snapped in place. While I don’t think she is outright jealous of her sisters, maybe just a little envy? Imagine you and your sisters all getting mates but only you have the knowledge of knowing who yours is before you even actually meet them 😭 especially after being turned far through drowning in an oversized cooking pot. I’d be skeptical too. Plus Feyre and Nesta got the chance to know their mates without the pressure of the mating bond always being there, it didn’t snap in place for them until after becoming friends with their mates. But Elain and Lucien’s bond is already snapped in place, at least I think it is🤷🏼‍♀️. I understand how afraid and angry she probably is of having a Mating bond. Especially since she did excel at being human and wanting a human life. But like Feysands and Nessians bonds Elucien will fall in love with one another too. But I want Elain to live her life and go on her own journey before she jumps into a relationship with anyone.

Lastly, I need background Feysand as parents with baby nyx. I am not a fan of pregnancy trope but I’ll make an exception for cute bat baby nyxie. And of course my Nessian. I need all the soft background Nessian I can get. I need them sitting on the couch together laughing or eating chocolate cake of course. And I want to know how Elain feels about this and what goes on in her mind when she sees her sisters happy with their mates and fae life.

Hope this helps, and have an amazing day too 🫶🏻

[bookofmirth]

Az lived feeling rejected, imagine having his brothers and family against his relationship with the woman he claims to love, it would end his self-esteem once and for all.

Except that Rhys and co would never be against Elriel if they prove to be true Love and Elain is the one who expresses it first.

There is no Forbidden Love if only one side is going to suffer the ban and in the end it is an easy acceptance of the family or having to make Rhys, Feyre and Nesta and Lucien villains in the lives of those they say they love.

Yes, I know I've said before, somewhere, that Rhys telling Az to knock his shit off was bad for Az because I just know that he took it personally, like Rhys was saying he's not good enough for Elain. Which is not at all what Rhys was saying, it wasn't about Az at all but about being respectful of other people's insanely complicated lives, but still. I don't think that Rhys intended to strike at Az's insecurity and jealousy, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what he did. Az was so angry the next day, but that's also nothing new. His temper is an increasing presence in the series. He's got bigger issues than who he can or can't bang.

So I agree 100%, I think that Az took that very personally, especially since we know that he was already jealous of Cassian and Rhys and he already has a chip on his shoulder about being told what he is and isn't capable of doing.

I get the appeal of forbidden love, but that's just not what's happening here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think that's why people tried to tie it to Beron though - they know, just like the rest of us, that Lucien will in no way impede Elain from pursuing whomever she wants to pursue.

[visd3stele]

hi, found this in lucien's tag and it reads genuine and respectful, so me, being the discussions loving yet deprived literature nerd that i am, thought to answer. !!!NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT, SIMPLY A DEBATE!!!

so, the way i see it, sjm is quite fond on her mate pairs, always has been and would be weird for her to not make mates endgame. she also enjoys putting her mate pairs (and the reader) through PAIN. like, they gotta work for their happiness.

before answering the questions, i'd like to preface by saying that azriel wants a mate. he's jealous of his brothers because of it and angry with lucien for not only getting one, but also that one faited person for him being his brothers' mates sister. which, in turn, makes his feelings seem solely lustful* and him appear entitled.

*feeling lust isn't a bad thing, but it does not equal love

besides, why would sjm write nesta having threesome thoughts about him if she wants him to end up up with elain, her sister? why write his shadows (something he finds comfort in) feel at ease with gwyn, but shy away from elain? why write both of them as good singers and have elain give back every single gift from az? why have az and gwyn share a special moment on solstice and train together?

now, to the questions:

1. he's not the only one who can. fae's can smell mating bonds in general. az being able to smell their bond is framed in the spotlight because he's so upset about it.

2. because they are a family? az is still rhys and cassian brother and elain is still feyre and nesta's sister. they don't have to end up together for this to be true. besides, they don't like lucien. he's not part of their family. ofc she won't draw him. not everything mor does has to do with her powers, which isn't seeing the future, so i'm not quite sure what the point of this question was in the first place...

3. elain doesn't want a mate, doesn't want to be fae. being in the same room with lucien is awkward for her, for both of them, actually. so, yeah, she doesn't know how to adress the situation, so she whitdraws.

4. feyre was fine when away of rhys too (before she accepted the bond, when she was in spring and didn't know of the mating bond yet). her distress was due to trauma, not from being away from her mate. so why wouldn't elain be the same without meaning anything?

5. he's trying to give her space and not impose on her. just like rhys did, when he would have let feyre marry tamlin, if that would have been her wish.

6. elain isn't on speaking terms with lucien. they're not friends. why get him something? while az is in the ic, family, they live together...

7. it's not told yet. but there is still time to find out. meanwhile we know what she does with azriel's gifts: give them back.

8. mor is a female he loves/loved, but wasn't good for him (because she's into females, not males). his shadows are his protectors, maybe they try to keep him away from another heartbreak.

9. he doesn't? lucien can't be around elain often, but the times he is, he stands up for her, tries to help, he's protective... all traits of a mate. az being a good male towards elain doesn't mean he's acting like a mate.

10. not sure how this has anything to do with him and elain. it seems more like a promise of an az story rather than a elriel one.

11. i wouldn't say is that deep. just like cass got nesta something and threw it away in the river and it was never mentioned again what it was inside that box. besides, az doesn't mind the singing, he enjoys it.

12. happier does not equal completely healed or in love. it just means he's accepted somewhwere. ofc he's happier when he's not looked at like he's an intruder.

13. again, because elain doesn't want that yet and he's doing right by her by staying away. he has a different personality than rhys, he can't strike a deal with her and force her to get to know him. and having friends and wanting to work for a purpose doesn't mean he prefers vassa's company over elain's. he's not living alone with her either, there's jurian too.

14. mating bonds aren't created on spot. feyre was rhys's mate long before she was made fae, nesta was cassian's mate before being made fae.

15. rhys had a hunch it's feyre even before she became fae. then, as she was turned, he realized it's true and flew away. he wasn't immediatly sure of it because feyre being human made it harder for him to tell. likewise, as soon as elain was out of the cauldron and a fae, lucien could feel the bond.

16. he wanted her to have something to protect herself with. i'm sure lucien, cass, mor, rhys, or anyone else would have done the same. as for stepping outside of the shadows, it can mean so many things. like elain's first step into accepting her new life and form, elain's first step into recovery from trauma, elain's first step into owning her position instead of being cast to the side (she does say in silver flames that she can and wants to help).

17. why is this the only option? maybe she develops a crush. they have interactions and gwyn isn't uncomfortable around az, quite the opposite.

18. maybe the bond didn't snap yet. it is said in acotar lore that faes can know each other for lives before the bond snaps into place. just like lucien and jesminda waiting oh so certain for theirs to snap into place (and even if it didn't, lucien still being sure she was his mate).

19. for her. no arguments. yeah, rhys ordered az to stay away to prevent unwanted political disasters. but that's because elain hasn't rejected the bond. she is not pressured to accept it. even rhys said that if she wants to, she can reject it. it's her choice.

20. why have nesta and cass sort of get along while she was still human, only for her to be cold towards him after? why have feyre be with tamlin, love him so much her love for him broke a curse? why change lucien's and nesta's mates if she wouldn't want to write their stories? sjm loves some angst before having her pairs end up together.

21. sjm doesn't control the accessibility of her books. and it is not her job to do so. and as for the begginning, it can be an argument for gwynriel as well. she started something for them in that bonus chapter.

as for the rejected bond, i don't think it's something sjm, a romance writer, known for and beloved for developing the mates trope, would explore in a book. it's much more likely she'll talk about rejected bonds through a pair that already lost theirs, like helion and the lady of autumn court for example (bcs why write them as secret, forbidden lovers and have them have a secret child together, one that loa loves the most, if she doesn't want to continue their story as a subplot?).

I think a big reason as to why I can't accept the possibility of Gwynriel or Elucien is because of how much Sarah has put into Elriel. Not putting Elriel together would leave so many questions unanswered.

Some of the questions that I have about everything that need to be answered regardless of who ends up canon or not are:

Why can Az smell Elain's bond with Lucien?

Why did Mor (whose power is truth) draw the sisters and bat boys on the wall in the cabin like it was some family portrait?

Why does Elain gain confidence around Az but loses her newfound boldness around Lucien?

Why does Elain seem fine when Lucien is gone all the time?

How can Lucien stay gone all the time?

Why does Elain get Az gifts and not Lucien?

What has Elain done with the gifts that Lucien buys her?

Why do Az's shadows react to Elain the way that they do to Mor?

Why does Az act more like Elain's mate than Lucien does?

What did that spark mean at the end of Az's bonus chapter if it literally had no effect on the rest of silver flames?

Why did Elain get Az ear plugs when the next night he "found" himself at the house of wind when the priestess were singing? What does this mean?

Why does Lucien seem happier talking about and to Vassa?

Why does he choose to stay with her and not attempt to get to know Elain?

What if the poison that was in Az's blood affected a potential bond between him and Elain the night she was changed?

Why did Lucien immediately feel their bond when it took feysand and nessian months and years to feel theirs? They had always known but they couldn't feel it until later on and Amren was the only one who could smell feysand's bond and she's made different. What does this mean?

Why did Az feel the need to give Elain TT and how was she able to use it and step out of shadow to kill the king?

Why is Gwyn so concentrated on Az during training if it's not because he reminds her of that night and wants to prove herself?

If Gwyn and Az are mates, why doesn't he act like it? Why doesn't she act like it? You think she would have told Nesta or Emerie during the rite when they were telling each other their stories.

If Elain accepted the bond, would it be for her or because of how much it would benefit the Night Court?

If Sarah has planned for Elain to end up Luicen all this time, why talk about rejecting the bond? Why make her avoid Lucien and develop some type of feelings for Az if she's going to accept the bond and have a happily ever after with Lucien?

Why spend precious page space and word counts showing Elain and Az being happy with each other and attracted to each other just for them "to end" in a bonus chapter that more than half the readers did not have access to when it came out? Was that the intention or are they just getting started?

If Elucien and Gwynriel were always meant to be endgame, the why leave readers with questions like these? Why make it where two people get to know each other, accept their failed loves (Grayson and Mor), develop attraction toward one another and have these secret moments between the two just to ignore this and put them with a mate they don't want and someone they wouldn't even call a friend?

Having these questions, especially the ones about Elriel, won't allow me to accept any other ship that's not Elriel.

Feel free to add any more questions if you guys want to. These are just what I could think of in the 10 minutes it took for me to make this post lol

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

So I watched/listened to a plot synopsis of ACOTAR out of curiosity and wow. It's obvious SJM thought of a misunderstood bad boy halfway through her Beauty and the Beast retelling and then proceeded to make him *too* bad. As in, "drug and assault you for a month to help you not be traumatized" (really Rhys, was that the *only* way you could have "protected" Feyre? Are you sure?). I see why everyone's angry with how the book ended it's such a mess.

god, yeah. as much as it makes me mad when people skip book one, i totally get skipping book one because it is ABUNDANTLY clear that SJM published it without thinking about literally anything. She spends so much of the rest of the series retconning/reframing events so the guy that she made into a genuinely scary villain in book one is now a fucking saint who builds sanctuaries for battered women in his magic secret city of saints and artists - like, let's ignore the fact that he left a severed head on someone's doorstep as a prank, and the fact that he committed SA, and the fact that he violates peoples' minds/boundaries on the regular.

Like, the most charitable interpretation of Rhysand's actions UtM is that he re-enacted his own sexual abuse on Feyre, because he entered into the pseudo-relationship with Amarantha unwillingly, but believing that it would be the best way to protect himself and his family. The LEAST charitable interpretation of his drugging and assaulting Feyre repeatedly is that he was trying to keep her dazed, constantly in a state of sleep-deprived sickness, struggling to recovery, and thereby prevent her from solving the Super Obvious riddle - because again, he worked for the evil queen willingly. Even if his motivations were "good" he still actively terrorized the rest of the country in the name of protecting the one place and handful of people that Rhysand, personally, deemed most valuable. Like, dude, people DIED. Rhysand later spends a lot of time whining about how NOBODY FOUGHT OR SACRIFICED AS HARD AS HIM..... bro. I don't know how to tell you this but at least two of the other High Lords were running an active rebellion in Book One (the Winter Court confirmed; Rhysand later murders the Winter Court's children - and SJM desperately wants you to forget that this event happened/mattered; the Summer Court was implied to be assisting) and if Rhysand hadn't interfered, Tamlin probably could have used Feyre to break the curse's stupidly complex conditions on his own.

But also!?!? None of this fucking matters, because the canonical actual reason that Rhysand gives for - and I cannot emphasize this enough - DRUGGING AND SEXUALLY HARASSING/ASSAULTING FEYRE, THE GIRL HE CLAIMS TO LOVE MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF, REPEATEDLY - was that he was jealous.

He says this, to Feyre, on the fucking page. Rhysand did not like that Tamlin and Feyre were clearly in love, that their relationship seemed strong, and he wanted to make Tamlin angry and jealous - by hurting Feyre, and using her as an object with which to taunt him.

Rhysand never apologizes for this, by the way. He just gets sad and says that he regrets it, and Feyre feels sorry that she upset him by bringing up her trauma, which he caused. Fucking CHRIST.

And later, according to SJM's narration, I am supposed to revile and condemn Tamlin for getting angry and being upset/traumatized by having witnessed someone he loves he dangled in front of him like a toy by a guy who wants to hurt/kill him and is capable of destroying people's minds!? I'm supposed to be upset when he tries to rescue Feyre from Rhysand later!?!? HELLO!?!? We can talk about Tamlin's character flaws but first of all, he's never sexually assaulted anyone, and second of all, he's against slavery for no reason than because slavery is bad.

No, actually, this is relevant, because Rhysand later tries to "both sides" fucking SLAVERY.

Anyway rant over, fuck ACOMAF especially.

[starbornsinger]

Elriel/Gwynriel/Elucien Theory Time :)

Ok so in regards to the Az POV chapter, I have some thoughts. This is super long and detailed and also tearing down ships, so uh, beware.

⚠️ACOSF spoilers (duh)⚠️

So I was re-reading the thing and as I was reading the conversation between Az and Rhys, it kind of hit me. I used to be an Elriel shipper until ACOSF, and I was really all for it.

But I don't think they're in love.

See, earlier in the chapter, Az is thinking about how jealous he is of the other couples. We know he isn't very lucky in love, and seeing Elain and her mate and their mating bond upsets him. I think he fancies Elain because she's beautiful and sweet, but I don't think he's in love with her. I think she's another thing he can't have, and he feels frustrated and it only makes him want her more. Because he thinks, why shouldn't he have her? Why is the Mother so cruel as to deny him love? And he thinks, "well all my other brothers have Archeron mates, why don't I? It must be a mistake!"

I think what Azriel's biggest issue is though, is that he wants love so bad, he's willing to risk it all for the first girl he feels attraction too. It also feels relevant that the primary thing we see in his POV is his physical attraction to her, his sexual attraction. We don't see much of how he thinks she's so sweet or so clever or so gentle, but instead how nice her tits are and how badly he wants to kiss and fuck her. I think he doesn't particularly want Elain, and while he likes her, I think what he really wants is love. True love, just like his brothers and friends. He thinks the Mother must be wrong because they both got Archeron sisters while he didn't, and his attraction to Elain makes him wish they were Mates so he could finally have that true love that's entirely his own.

But she's not. And he can't. I think what Azriel wants most isn't Elain. He wants her sexually, and he admires her and has a crush on her, but the thing he focuses on and gives him the most emotion is that she has a Mate and he doesn't, and that everyone does but him. I think he wants someone like Elain and wants to feel happy, but I think he doesn't exactly want Elain. When he thinks of her, he doesn't seem to be truly in love as we've seen other SJM couples are. And sure, it's early, but it's also been like— 2 years. I don't think they're in love sadly, I think Azriel just wants to move on from Mor and finally find love. He has a type, and when he found someone who loosely fit into the mold of his ideal partner, he jumped at it because he's desperate to have someone love him. All his life, he's struggled with self-love and love from others, and I think that it's deeply affected his relationship with love itself.

Physical attraction and desire and interest isn't love. And the idea of her being mated already only makes him mad— that of course the first girl he likes for the first time in 500 years, of course the girl that could help him move on from Mor, is mated. I think that only makes him feel more passionate towards her; and Rhys notes how he seems to think he has a claim to her, when he doesn't. It makes Az angry, not because Rhysand thinks he's being possessive and reckless, but because it's true. He genuinely can't have her.

As for Elain, I think she's far too hesitant to be with him. She reminds me of Daisy in The Great Gatsby, and how she claims to love Jay but she won't leave Tom, or jilt him. Now this is a different situation, because Daisy was selfish and didn't want to give up her comforts and stability and fame. Elain, on the other hand, doesn't seem ready to have a serious relationship with Az. I think she is still severely affected by Graysen's rejection, and is still clearly not over him. I don't think she's ready to accept Az fully and be with him, and I also don't think she's ready to reject her mating bond with Lucien.

I don't know 100% what's going on with Elain, but what I do know is that clearly she is intrigued by Lucien in some capacity. Ok Elriel shippers, don't come for me, but there are several scenes in which Elain seems to want to talk to Lucien, or whatever the heck. But also seems disinterested, like when she dismisses his Solstice gifts and doesn't speak to him.

However, I don't think she's resentful towards him exactly, or at least that isn't the main reason she's like this. While we know he was helping Tamlin lowkey, Feyre and the IC all understood he was on their side, and was their friend. So it seems kind of odd to still bear a grudge against him, but who knows.

But funnily enough, she has yet to reject their mating bond. If she's so disinterested, or hates him so much, why hasn't she turned him down? Mother, she's barely spoken to him at all. I think the obvious reason behind her disdain or distancing from Lucien is her connection to Graysen and her human life. Of all the sisters, Elain has not yet adapted to or accepted that she is Fae— or if she has, she's sure as hell not happy about it. Even Nesta in ACOSF mentioned how she actually likes her ears now, and we know Feyre has totally accepted being Fae. But with Elain, she had the most human connected life of them all, and to have it taken away from her is shitty.

For Elain, her happiness seems to come from a love of gardening, of family, of people. She has very little human things to hold onto, and adding a Mating bond to the mix right as she's made Fae is like she's had all her humanity stripped. She doesn't hate Lucien, she hates the bond. She dislikes that it's chained her to someone and taken away her choices, which we know is a big deal for the sisters after being imprisoned, kidnapped, and Made. I think Elriel is an infatuation, because even though she doesn't love Az, he's helping her rebound from Graysen (and giving her control and power over her love life). He's a choice she (can't really) make, but a choice nonetheless. With Lucien, she feels she has no choice with him, and no control over her obvious attraction I say obvious because mates have a primal attraction of some level to each other , and is probably afraid that accepting the Mating bond will remove any last connections she has to who she used to be, and the human she feels she really is.

But she also hasn't rejected it, because I think she realizes that Lucien is a genuine and kind and hot guy, and that rejecting him would be a stupid idea. He's been very patient and very kind and accepting, and has always given her the freedom of choice when it comes to the bond. I think Lucien is the kind of guy that would be very easy to fall in love with, and I think Elain sees that and knows it.

Also, I think with ACOSF, it feels relevant that Cassian pointed out specifically how Elain looked beautiful in black at the ball, but it looked horribly wrong on her. With SJM the devil is always in the details, and I think it was a clearly accentuated bit of symbolism. Although Elain looks beautiful, the black dress wasn't for her. And although Elriel is very sweet, it won't work out. She won't thrive in the Night Court, or with Azriel. Az doesn't challenge her or meet her as an equal (like all other SJM ships), and they don't push each other to be better or to accept themselves or whatever etc etc.

And I really used to like Elriel, but I think that surprisingly, Elain will be the one who says "stop, I can't do this" to Az. I think she knows she isn't ready, and I think she knows they aren't meant to be. Even if a Mating bond was put in place between her and Lucien, I still think their relationship wouldn't work because they're both too insecure, too closed off, too non-communicative, and too stagnant together to be a healthy or good match. I think with Elain they would struggle to understand each other even if they were fond of each other and can relate on some level, but at its rawest form I think they won't truly be able to be themselves with each other.

With Elain, Azriel's shadows— a key part of him— disappear. While I initially thought, awww that's so cute, she's a light in his life, I soon realized I was wrong. Az's shadows are not just a part of him, they're an extension of him, of his will and subconscious and emotions. So Elain chasing them away, while chasing away the shadows and darkness seems cute, isn't a good thing. Most of the time with shadows, we think "ew bad!" Because they have an inherent connotation of negativity or sorrow or depression or darkness etc etc. And while this is partially true, Azriel's shadows and darkness are a part of him. His sadness and struggles are a part of him. And his shadows aren't just representative of that, they're also a representation of how he overcame his abuse and turned that fire (pun unintended) and anger and trauma into something beautiful and powerful and a weapon. I think they can serve as an armor and a shield, and while that's not good, I also don't think they should fully disappear.

More on that: with Azriel's shadows, we know they're a part of him, right? So I think an important part of self is self-regulation. Rather than be consumed entirely by shadow, or totally exposed to the light, I think he just needs his shadows to be calm and present, but not controlling or hiding. I think the whole "Elain bringing him out of the shadows" bit sounds cute at first, but then you have to think of it like this. In order to be with Elain, he would have to change. He couldn't be a spy or a shadowsinger or a torturer, and he couldn't be dark and introverted. With her, he has to push that aside. Those are key parts of him, key parts that would have a big impact on their relationship. Elain can't be with someone with so much blood on their hands or a history of violence or darkness. We know that, because we know that sort of thing upsets her and she doesn't like it.

Azriel can't just be himself with her, he has to become someone else. And while he's attracted enough to not care, after awhile, that grows exhausting. Being in love and not being your true self, all of it, is exhausting. And while some might argue "why can't he be his true self?!" well my slime, I think we both know that even if we wanted him to, Elain would be silently resigned about it. I don't think— no, I know— Elain can't be with someone like Azriel. Even if they have feelings, even if they have lust or affection, it isn't love. They aren't in love, and they won't work out no matter how much we want it to.

Onto Elain: with Elain, this all ties back to what Cassian said in Hewn City. She looks beautiful in black, but it's wholly wrong for her. The Night Court is wrong for her, and darkness is wrong for her. While some yin-yang relationship tropes can work very well, I don't think this will. She doesn't like the darkness or accept it, and she doesn't want to be a part of it. I think the Night Court is good and happy for her when she makes her own little garden world, and only then, really. It's like living in the middle of the desert and only thinking of the beach: it's not the right place for her.

I think the Spring Court needs her, and I think she needs it. Here's more on that.

So we've seen the set up and execution of the fall of the Spring Court. We know that it's in shambles and is weak and needs a new/better leader than Tampon. I feel like SJM is setting things up for a new book focused in the Spring Court, because in a lot of ways, it's becoming the centerpiece for action in Prythian (aside from the Night Court). I genuinely believe that as Tamlin's second, Lucien will take over the Spring Court as High Lord. He doesn't fit in with Autumn, didn't fit in with Night, and wasn't really a part of Spring. But with Spring, it was where he was happy, where he felt safe, and the home he chose. Chosen homes and chosen families are a big deal for SJM, and I think that Lucien will return to the Spring Court to try and help it, because Mother knows it needs it. I think Elain belongs there, not only because she needs to be in an environment suited to her, but because she needs to heal.

We've seen a theme of helping others heal in order to heal ourselves, and I think a good book idea (and what I think an Elain book would be about), is healing the Spring Court and helping it. Elain is a gardener. She wants to see things grow and blossom, wants to get her hands dirty and dig in! But she can't do that in the NC. I think she needs something new and fresh and blossoming that she can help and tend to, and I think the person that can be at her side for that is Lucien. I think with Azriel, she can't see growth and life and flowers. He's a different kind of person, far too different, and the two wouldn't mesh well. Elain isn't like Persephone and Azriel isn't like Hades; although she's flowers and he's death and they're attracted to each other, they don't fully accept those roles and cross into each other's. Elain could never be a killer or someone who wears black or thrives in a darker place, and Azriel couldn't be someone who is in the full heat of the light and wear bright colors and be cheerful and flowery. In a dream world, yes, but I think in this one, no. SJM loves to create realistic relationships and realistic relationship conflict, and I think we'll see this here. Even though they want it to work, and in theory it should, it won't. I think they know it too. Azriel's shadows vanish when she's around, and Elain struggles to feel comfortable in the darkness and Night Court, and fit in with the others in the black dress that is wholly un-Elain.

I also think that this relationship doesn't bring development to the table. The forbidden love concept is adorable and a trope I love, but this love isn't one that will push them to grow. Azriel can feel loved and happy, but can he feel fully accepted? Can he stop being ashamed of his shadows, of his violence? Of who he is? Can Elain break out of her shelf and be more assertive, and truly grow and change? Can she be herself and be happy? The answer is a sad no. Their relationship is sweet and cute, but it won't truly work. I genuinely believe Lucien is a better match for Elain, and while the Cauldron isn't always right (like Rhysand's parents), it usually is. If he isn't, then I'm all for independent Elain.

Now onto the moment you've all been waiting for: who should Az be with?

Gwyn. :)

[nikethestatue]

Greetings, Nike.

I am starting to genuinely feel worried about the credibility of Elriel. On all social media platforms (other than Tumblr for my algorithm), I really only see Gwynriel content and theories.

I understand and believe Elriel has canon book content with tons of foreshadow. I truly want them to be endgame. But what if Gwyn is really there for Az? Ngl it kinda terrifies me lol

What if the scene at the end of Azriels bonus chapter was Gwynriel ??? A point a Gwynriel shipper brought up was, Elain doesn’t have the habit of returning gifts. Greysen, Lucien— so why Azriel? I felt a little stumped but I do know it was because she felt rejected.

I just want Elain and Azriel to be together. I need some reassurance lol

Hello!

Firstly, don't worry. Just because they are loud, doesn't mean that they are right. They don't like Elain. That's all. Guess what, many people HATED Nesta (still do), hated Chaol, hated Rowan, hated Rhys (still do)--at the end of the day, it didn't matter. SJM wrote what she wanted to write, told the story she needed to tell, and that was that.

Now, SJM could've written Gwynriel very differently, given something more concrete, given actual interest on part of Azriel towards her, but let's just stick to the beloved POV. If she wanted to set up Gwynriel and since the POV is the the biggest salami out there, hanging for the Gwynriels as 'proof', why, i am curious, would she write the entire part with Elain/Rhys/almost kiss/necklace? She could've just written the Gwyn part. The set up could've been exactly the same--Azriel is returning from Solstice, he is angry, moody, jealous of his brothers, wants a girlfriend. Enter Gwyn! Just write the Gwyn-only portion. Change something with the necklace--let's say he gives her a little gift, even impromptu gift through Clotho. All of that would be much more indicative of interest, of potential.

Instead, you have the Elriel and Rhys portion--where literally, a ton of stuff was suggested, sort of set up, and revealed. Mutual interest, prohibition, Blood Duel, necklace. What exactly was set up in the Gwyn part of the POV? Nothing. She has no bearing on the story as a whole. She is not related to anything that's happening.

Now, onto the necklace. There are different opinions on the significance of the necklace, where some Elriels think he won't play much of a role going forward, like the little book that Cassian tossed into the Sidra. I am of different opinion and I think the necklace will play a role, because I think that the necklace is Made in some way. There is too much back and forth with this necklace, and while I don't think it will play any romantic role/love triangle thing, I think it may possess certain power. That's why Elain (had to) return it. We don't know what Elain knows, what she Sees. We don't know what and how she feels about things. So it's very premature to make any far-reaching opinions about her.

On the surface, and let's stick with that for now, she returned it because it actually shows HOW hurt she was by his rejection. Obviously with Graysen, she couldnt go back to the Human Lands and give the ring back, but she took it off eventually. With Lucien, she keeps showing how indifferent she is towards him through her non-usage of his gifts. With Azriel, it's actually the opposite--it's an action, not passivity. Basically, she is salty. And she lets him know she is salty. She feels rejected and she does the only thing she can in this situation--gives the gift back.

(If somebody thinks that all of this will not be discussed and handled in the next book, well, they are mistaken).

Finally, there is literally no drama, no conflict, no nothing with Gwyn and Az. "I like you, you like me, let's get together'--is that the book? We know SJM will NOT WRITE A LOVE TRIANGLE with two women fighting over a guy. Let's assume Elain steps aside. Gwynriel happens. Then what? That could be done in the first 10 pages. Then what? There never seem to be any answers beyond the vague 'Illyrian plot' which of course is BS. They think she is going to write another book about training? In ACOSF, there was still Nesta (though it seems like people forgot about her), who was Making objects, finding Trove Objects, going to Prison, killing Death Gods, etc. She was the Cauldron Made character with power.

Anyway, I can write and write and write about this...And give like 182718937 examples. :)

Bottom line is, there is no Gwynriel book, as it stands right now. Also, I am pretty sure she'll be given a LI in the next book (not Az), so all of this will be forgotten.

Don't worry. Even ignoring all 4 books of foreshadowing, and going ONLY by the POV, there are like 9 things going on with Elriel that could potentially happen (forbidden romance, Blood Duel, bond rejection? bond acceptance? Rhys vs Az, Lucien, Elain's powers, etc). With Gwyn....no so much.

[watcherintheweyr]

I hate to inform the general population of this but no. Context really doesn't matter here. Nothing excuses SA. Nothing excuses sexual abuse, and he *did not have to do it.*

Rhysand claimed he was doing it to keep her from going mad in the dark cells- but do you honestly think having drugged half-memories of being assaulted, objectified, touched without consent and made into a toy for a man won't damage you mentally?

He also claimed he was doing it to make Tamlin angry, so he'd kill Amarantha when the time came- but why on earth would Tamlin, who killed Rhysand' father with a single blow, who has buried Amarantha's victims with his own two hands, whose best friend was mutilated and tortured for Amarantha's whims, who has now been made more or less into Amarantha's 'pet', and is likely being abused and assaulted himself offscreen, hesitate? Why would he shy away from killing her? She's been obsessed with him since he was little more than a child. He despises her. And he wants to save his people and Feyre. He wouldn't hesitate.

Rhysand objectified and dehumanized and assaulted her. There's no escaping that and his excuses of 'context', do not absolve him, especially because he has **never apologized.** and genuinely, GENUINELY, how the fuck did this save her??? How??? How did him kissing her against her will, which he admitted was done to make Tamlin jealous, to hurt him, save Feyre in any way?

Aww oh boo hoo, Tamlin was being a dick and sexually humiliated Feyre in front of all the High Lords-

Which Rhysand did first. And no one cares or holds it against him.

And furthermore if you're going to call that abuse or humiliation or objectification of Feyre, what exactly do you call Rhys fingering her in front of his subjects, all to maintain his 'mask'? How on earth do you- or he- expect that to garner respect for her or him? Or fear? It's just pity and disgust.

Tamlin made some bitchy, inappropriate comments about the girl who ruined his court and took advantage of his own UTM trauma to warp him and his perception, and thus his court's perception of him. Weakened it to the point that Hybern was able to ruin it and kill his people, alongside Summer's- the girl who, when confronted about that, launched into a tirade about stars eternal like the Night Court is exempt of consequences to their actions. 'We aren't responsible for the choices made by Hybern' Rhys inserts [by this logic Nesta isn't responsible for Feyre choosing to hunt, by the by!], clearly showing where this attitude came from. [His influence on her is scary. Genuinely]

Rhysand took a girl who was being tormented and challenged and pushed to her breaking point with tests in order to free the fae she's fallen in love with, had her painted and dressed in cobwebs, and humiliated and dehumanized her before the High Lords, before Amarantha, before the courts. For bullshit reasons and his own damn satisfaction. It's gross. Yall want your king to be 'morally grey' so stop excusing his shitty actions and calling them good and right!

You hate Tamlin because he sexually harassed Feyre by making a snide remark about their sex life in front of the high lords?

Damn... then you must have REALLYYYY strong opinions about the way Rhys drugged Feyre and forced her to perform lap-dances UTM as well as compared her breasts to apples in front of another high lord and his advisors.

👀👀

[icedflames]

Some people are so stupid i saw someone reblog your post and put they were mad cuz az said how can the cauldron give the third sister to someome else and if felt ooc like that was his frustration talking his frustration that the famle he loves is mated to someone else that he can't be with her , he's angry at the cauldron for putting him in a situation where he can't act on his feelings even tho the female in question returns his feelings how is that ooc and disgusting ?

Yeah... I don’t agree that Azriel’s out of character. Azriel is totally in character when he’s talking about the Cauldron in his bonus chapter. It reads:

Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it.  "What if the Cauldron was wrong?" 

Rhysand blinked. "What of Mor, Az?"  

Azriel ignored the question. "The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another." He had never before dared speak the words aloud.  

Rhys's face drained of color. "You believe you deserve to be her mate?"  

Azriel scowled. "I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him, anyway.”

“What if the Cauldron was wrong” is a direct callback to:

“Why not make them mates?” I mused. “Why Lucien?” 

“I’d keep that question from Lucien.”

“I’m serious.” I turned toward him and crossed my arms. “What decides it? Who decides it?”

[...]

“So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

“A mating bond can be rejected,” Rhys said mildly, eyes flickering in the mirror as he drank in every inch of bare skin I had on display. “There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some … preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that.” (ACOWAR, Chp. 24).

Feyre is questioning the Cauldron here, just like Azriel is questioning the Cauldron in his bonus chapter. On top of that, both conversations center around Elain and Lucien’s bond potentially being poorly picked and how Azriel and Elain are better suited for each other. Both conversations were similar enough that it’s evident SJM wanted us to recall Rhys and Feyre’s conversation. She wanted us to remember that a mating bond can be rejected. 

To add, Azriel is very emotional in his chapter. He’s likely drunk and extremely upset that Rhys forced him to reject Elain - unable to stand the bleakness he’d brought to her expression. He’s upset that the Cauldron is preventing him form being with the one person he wants to be with. After 500 years of pining for Mor, he caught feelings for Elain - who is mated to another. Azriel’s feelings for Elain must be especially strong for him to (1) move on from Mor; and (2) questions the Cauldron itself, the primordial being in the ACOTAR world, and fate itself.

I think reading the bonus chapter with all of the other hints and moments between Elain and Azriel makes it clear that Azriel doesn’t feel entitlement, but a strong pull towards Elain. He realizes she’s missing first when she’s kidnapped, he saves Elain from Hyburn’s camp (even if that meant certain death), he’s insanely jealous of Lucien, he’s developed a friendship with her (and likely feels at ease with her), he’s gotten to the point where he can’t be around her so he moves to the House of Wind (and deals with Nesta and Cassian’s antics), he lent her Truth-Teller (his most precious possession nobody else could even touch), etc. 

Azriel is also unreadable to most characters. @wingedblooms made a lovely post on that here. Of course Rhys doesn’t understand what Azriel is saying. Of course Azriel is not able to express himself clearly. He’s in the heat of the moment! Rhys is angry at him, Azriel is angry at himself, and he’s never even spoken the words aloud. And then we have Rhys, who’s is angry that Elain and Azriel could have pissed off Lucien, and he’s angry about Feyre’s pregnancy. There’s a lot going on and I don’t think Rhys and Azriel are having a thoughtful conversation. 

Do we really expect Azriel, of all people, to get the words across clearly and have another character completely understand what he’s saying? Because that would be out of character. 

[propshophannah]

umm i think ppl are over reacting,, az was not being toxic or possesive, he's been pining for elain for 3 years and he now knows she feels the same way for him,, and to the ppl that said that him being turned on was creepy,, wait till we see elains pov bc im pretty sure she was thinking the same. pls it's okay to not like scenes and characters and ships but cmon,, some eluciens are butchering him

Hi Nonnie! I heard that the fandom was getting crazy so I’ve been avoiding looking at posts and stuff. If Az came off creepy it wasn’t because he was turned on. LMFAO. Elain was turned on, too. SHE ALSO INITIATED THE ENTIRE SCENE! We don’t even need her POV to tell us what she wanted either—Maas straight up tells us this in that scene. LOL to everyone who skipped that part and those lines. I mean… it wasn’t even subtext. It was literally written on the page. (I’m writing an analysis of that scene, stay tuned!)

If he came off creepy, it was because he articulated a sense in entitlement—which given the situation wasn’t entirely out of line! Sorry, it just wasn’t. 

And here’s why: We’ve all had moments where we are so fucking mad—and everything around us seemed to be going in everyone else’s favor BUT ours—so we got angry. And vengeful. And we got a little lost in those feelings, some of us drowned in them, and we did things and said things and we came off like a fucking asshole. FACTS.

If some people think that’s never happened to them, then they’re either lying to themselves or not paying attention to themselves. It’s as simple as that, Nonnie. 

We all do dumb, potentially toxic things when we’re mad or upset. That’s the law of the land and not one single person in the fandom, or the world, is above that. Not. One. 

And LETS. BE. REAL. Elain is NOT above reproach for the role she *actively* plays in this cluster fuck. She is just as guilty of stringing Lucien and Az along in that she hasn’t made a decision on whether to accept or reject the mating bond. Or in just saying “Look, Lucy, babe, I don’t like this. It’s stressing me out. Please leave me alone for the next 2.5 years or until I say ‘when’ before you come around again. Thanks!” She doesn’t even need to say it to Lucien. THAT’S THE KICKER. She could tell Feyre. Tell one of the Shadows to tell Feyre or Rhys or Mor and Nesta OR ANYONE with the power to say “Hey, we can’t invite Lucy to Solstice because Elain doesn’t want it.” This is a situation where getting other people to play the bad guy for you, is 100% socially acceptable. 

Hell, LUCIEN could be the one to initiate this. To pick up on what Elain IS NOT THROWING OUT and say, “Hey, Rhys, babe. Thanks for the Solstice invite, but I don’t think Elain appreciates my presence, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. How about I send you her gift from me, then I, like, check in every now and then and you can find a way to let her know I’m in town and if you invite me to dinner, I’ll take that as a sign that she’s okay with me being there for dinner and nothing more. No expectations.” It’s not hard. 

(We could argue that Lucien continuing to come around IS JUST AS WEIRD/CREEPY. READ THE ROOM DUDE.)

Now I WILL say that there is an argument to be made that Elain *may* not grasp the gravity of a mating bond because she was born in a different culture. That’s totally fair. BUT she’s had plenty of time to learn what that means having spent so much time around Feyre and Rhys and the others. 

So the idea that Azriel is the only one who deserves to be vilified is nonsensical. 

ALSO, and this is something I will be including in the analysis I’m working on and will hopefully finish tomorrow (I’m going to break that Az POV down so that everyone and their third cousin, twice removed, can understand), is that AZRIEL’S WHOLE SHTICK IS WAITING.  He looooves to wait. Fucking LOVES it. It’s his whole job y’all. It’s weird, and related to his daddy issues when you apply it to females, but it’s his life. He LITERALLY tells us this in ACOSF. Remember at the end when Cassian is complaining about how he HATES spying because he has no patience? 

Az is like “It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.” 

Cassian explains why he stopped spying because it “...bored him to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time.” 

Az says, “It suits me.”

 BOOM.

BOOM.

BOOM.

MF BOOOOOM.

Az likes to play the long game. Not saying it’s healthy, but that suits him. He’s good at waiting. He HAD TO BE. HE WAS LOCKED AWAY FOR YEARS AND HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHANCE TO SEE HIS MOTHER. And the sun. And his hateful brothers. He doesn’t know any better/how else to be. And there is a lot of trauma and conflicting feelings tangled in this. 

It’s only creepy when you fail to grasp the nuance. But if you stand too close to a painting, you can’t see the whole thing. Back up, people. Back up.

Az has spent his whole life waiting. It’s how he learned to be. And now that his brothers are all happily mated he’s looking back on all his waiting—on his entire life—and he’s having a crisis. Or a crisis is looming. What has his waiting gotten him? Why has his patience not been rewarded? Why not him?

You combine that thinking with anger and you’ve got a recipe for momentary entitlement. For rage so thick and consuming that you want to punch a wall and work yourself to death because at least when you’re working you can compartmentalize and not deal with the reality that YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MODEL hasn’t worked for you. That you got left behind somewhere and it was your fault.

Az is headed for a mid-life crisis or an emotional breakdown—or some big horrific moment where he realizes he can’t keep doing what he’s been doing, that his entire world is built on a foundation that’s crumbling. And if you’ve never ever had that happen to you, then I’m jealous. And I’m happy for you. Because it’s terrifying. Bloody awful fucking terrifying.

[julesherondalex]

Hello! Have you read azriels pov? If so what are your thoughts?

Hi! 💕 Excuse the late reply but I took a week to read acosf and some more days to actually clear my head on this topic and come up with theories. Beware, this is a long post. Let's jump right into it. 🔎

My thoughts on the Az POV

The first thing coming to mind when I think of Azriel's POV is the fact that Az isn't in a very good place mentally right now. He's jealous, frustrated and angry. He doesn't sleep much and longs for someone while thinking it's so wrong. This only adds to his low self-esteem - he's feeling like he doesn't deserve Elain anyway, he's done "unspeakable things". He feels so low of himself that his presence taints Elain's. I feel like if we're reading his POV, we should keep this perspective in mind.

Now, when I first read the chapter, I'm not gonna lie, it felt wrong somehow. While I was hoping for the tiniest bit of elriel crumb, we got actual steam, sexual tension, and the confirmation that both are attracted to each other and Azriel thinks of Elain with longing and need. They've been exchanging glances and the occasional brush of their fingers and we clearly saw in acosf those encounters are somehow "charged". There has been something in the air for a long time. It's gotten to the point where Az seems to have forgotten Mor. (On a side note: I don't think he's ever addressed his feelings for Mor so unless he does that, I don't believe he's truly done with the Mor chapter, sadly.) The POV had all this Elriel confirmation, the steamy scene, Rhys ordering Azriel to stay away, the Gwyn scene and the regifting.

At first, I was livid with the POV because at face value it reads...not good for elriel and twisted all the softness, fateful, healthy moments into something that is pure lust and just...obsessive. Unhealthy. All of this is - intentionally - contrasted quite well with how Azriel feels in the Gwyn scenes. Yeah, I was disappointed as. hell. and feared for my ship.

Then, I came on here and talked to my friends, my mutuals, and voila - I'm definitely feeling better, safe in my bet for elriel again. As safe as it gets with us not knowing Sarah's plans 😅

The thing is, I don't believe the POV should be read at face value. We/I automatically assumed there's a romantic connection between Az and Gwyn - which might very well be set up - but in reality, we also only have a single scene they talked to each other and had an understanding, it seems. Okay. But this could also be platonic given they've known each other for months and it didn't mean anything all this time.

However what makes me hold on to my hope for elriel is the fact we have 4 books full of foreshadowing. Sarah began laying crumbs for the sisters' stories in acomaf, and since then, we had lots of moments in favor of Elriel. I feel like it wouldn't make good storytelling if all of this were thrown away with a single POV, and certainly not the instance a new side character pops up and has a understanding with one of them.

With the POV, Sarah actually set up lots of things and the plainest being: ANGST. For Heaven's sake, I was so sure elriel was going to be endgame from all we got till acosf that maybe Sarah knew and wanted to shake things up. Without angst the next book would've been boring, right? We know (and after acosf it seems even more clear) that Elain has no interest in Lucien or the mating bond whatsoever. Are we really thinking that in her story Elain will magically realize she's been silly this entire time and everyone else was right, having a mate is wonderful and she'll get together with him? Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love them getting along and being bffs. It hurts me so much what Lucien must go through. But I just don't think Elain will get together with Lucien romantically. The bond rejection has been set up for a long while. In my opinion, there's no way the bond will be accepted. Acosf only made this clearer, but we've been also saying this before acosf.

With Gwyn as a potential love interest, sjm brought in the unexpected, and quite frankly, successfully made us (me) panic. And now I think that's what it was supposed to do. I think the Azriel POV was meant to set up the forbidden romance trope, steamy scenes between Elain and Az (the virginity comment by Nesta during acosf hasn't been for nothing y'all!), jealousy and misunderstandings.

Now, we get that steamy scene and I don't think there's anything wrong with it beyond Azriel's thoughts of how lowly he sees himself. Up until that point in Rhys' office, there wasn't anything truly problematic with the scene in terms of elriel. They are attracted to each other, and both wanted to act on it.

The Rhys conversation was what put things off at first glance. Made it seems like it was purely lust for Az. All the talk of Rhys thinking Az thinks he deserves to be Elain's mate. For the record, only a minute ago Az didn't even believe he deserved to touch her. Her presence tainted by his. For the life of me, he doesn't think he deserves to be Elain's mate. Come on. Not Az. That assumption is OOC.

He does question the mating bond between Elain and Lucien and whether the Cauldron might have been wrong. He questions how that aligns with the fate of the Archeron sisters with the Illyrian brothers. That's entirely different and valid, if you ask me.

What I will say is that the regifting was bad. It was an asshole move and I don't believe for a second that neither female would be okay with it. So why did he do what he did? He would know it to be a shitty thing to do. There are a few options here that come to my mind: 1) he enjoyed the moment with Gwyn, whether romantically or platonic, and decided to make her happy with the necklace (but then again, if Gwyn knew where it came from, I bet my ass she wouldn't have accepted it) 2) Az wants to stir shit up, kick something off - which might happen if Elain ever sees Gwyn wearing her necklace. It might give him the opportunity to speak up and talk to Elain. 3) Az isn't ready to let go of the necklace - therefore of Elain - and he can't bear to give it back. He can't let Elain go that easily. Keeping it might hurt too much, so he regifts it to Gwyn out of a hunch.

I'll leave it to you to add to this list and decide which one is the most probable option but I think we all know I'm going with 3) because it makes absolute sense to me even though it's shitty (but all of the options are tbh). Az would never give a potential love interest he's serious with a gift he's given to another female who rejected him. Duh. Gwyn also deserves better than that.

Let's sum up:

We have Azriel who's feeling shitty right now, frustrated with fate and his endless longing for mutual love. He can't have what he wants with Elain and it manifests in the bond between her and Lucien. He can't bear it, yet Elain seems to bring him back from his obsessive longing for Mor. Rhys orders Az to stay away from Elain, and unwittingly sets up the forbidden romance trope (thank you for that Rhysie). With Gwyn coming into this, it distantly seems like we have a love quartet, but also a set up for misunderstandings and jealousy. I feel like Sarah is cackling with delight because she got to us so easily with her messy Az POV. She knows what she's doing y'all.

What do I expect from the next book?

I expect forbidden lovers, and surrender. I expect misunderstandings and jealousy. I expect a rejected bond, or an Unmade bond. I expect a grand, epic arc of choice and deciding ones own fate. The themes of choice and fate even find their ways into this Azriel POV. It's Az who points them out. Again, I think Sarah knows what she's doing, and she'll give us some grand scenes and I believe elriel has the best chance to deliver them.

Could I be wrong with all of this? Sure. Could Elriel be doomed to sink with the Az POV? Maybe. All I'm saying is that we have so much foreshadowing and a grandiose set up of angst, we have an overall scheme of choice and we have a pairing that would, simply by getting together, decide their own fate against all odds. And at this point, there are lots of odds against them. If this doesn't make the perfect set up for their story, I don't know what does! 💙

Before anyone comes for me, I will say that I love Gwyn and absolutely adore Lucien. I think they're both great, so no shade for them. If you ship any of these with Elain or Azriel, go ahead and do you! This is just my opinion and I would love anyone sharing your thoughts!! It's so exciting that this fandom is alive again lol. 👌🏼😁

On another note: Thank you to @rhysanoodle, @high-lady-elains and @silver-flames for keeping me sane and providing your theories. A lot of this came from discussing with them and reading their posts. 💙

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Summer Lovin’ (Lucien x Tarquin)

Hello all!

This fic is something new, and will be in multiple parts, updated as and when I finish the next part. It is a Lucien x Tarquin fic. I know what you’re think but I had this thought about them because everyone writes crackships, but then I told @tswaney17 and the two of us fell in love with the idea. She is to thank for this spiral.

I’m using my general ACOTAR tag list for this, but you do not have to read it. Also do let me know if you would like to be kept out of the tags for this in the future. (The title is just something for now because I honestly haven’t decided something yet😂)

~~~~~~

Lucien’s life had been chaotic lately, but still, he hadn't quite expected this to happen, of all things.

Elain had finally said she didn't want this bond between them. He knew it was going to happen and he couldn't exactly blame her. Having it related to a traumatic experience wasn't going to be something positive, and no matter what the Cauldron thought of them matching each other, accepting the bond wouldn't have made them happy. She had the Spymaster for that, and Lucien was grateful to see how much she’d healed since seeing her as skin and bones in the library of the House of Wind. Azriel helped her and loved her; it wasn’t something predestined or whatever other shit people liked to talk about. They had chosen it for themselves, and Lucien couldn’t fault them for being happy.

Then came one of the biggest bombshells of his life.

Beron was not his father.

Though he had found out several months ago, it was still fresh in his mind, as though it were yesterday that he had been told.

Lucien still didn’t understand what he was doing in the River House. Rhysand had turned up in the human lands this morning to get him. When he’d asked why, the bastard just smiled at him. Lucien had honestly thought that the male might have been taking him to his death. But then he winnowed them into an office, Feyre sitting in the window, little Nyx in her arms and a content smile on her face. Now it was a few hours later, Nesta had been and gone, collecting her nephew for his nap, and still, he didn’t know why they had brought him here.

“Are you going to tell me what is going on now, or do I have to wait several more hours?” Rhys was just smiling from where he sat on his chair, wings hidden and humming, making Lucien roll his eyes. Feyre came to sit next to her mate, giving him a reprimanding look. She gave Lucien a soft smile.

“Just a little longer, I promise.” Feyre had barely even finished the sentence when there was a knock on the door. “There we go.” She stood, smoothing the skirts of her dress before walking towards the door, trailing light fingers over Rhys’ shoulder as she went. When she pulled the door open, Lucien could honestly say he was shocked to see that it was Helion on the other side, led by Cassian.

“Your guest, dearest sister. Please, take him.” Helion let out a low chuckle behind the general. He placed a hand over his heart, faking pain when Cassian turned to look at him.

“You wound me. Why so hasty to get rid of me?”

“If you keep looking at time the way you are, I will not be held responsible for what Nesta does to you in a jealous rage.” Helion’s retort was cut off when the female in question shouted from somewhere else in the house.

“You can take him! He’s been a pesky annoyance as of late.” Cassian disappeared then, grumbling about how she didn’t mean that, he was never annoying and Nesta was madly in love with him. Which was true,-the madly in love part, not Cassian not being annoying- anyone could see it. Lucien would never tell her about the doe eyed look she got though. He valued actually being alive.

Helion laughed again, bending down to kiss Feyre on one cheek and then the other.

“Feyre, you look as lovely as you always do. Motherhood suits you.”

“That I agree with entirely.” Rhys said as his mate welcomed the newcomer into the room, closing the door gently behind them.

“I’ve told you Rhysand, no more babes until Nyx is older.” The male nodded in agreement, though Lucien thought they were going to be having this discussion a lot in the near future. She smacked him over the back of the head when he smirked, before sitting once more. He had a feeling they were talking to each other in secret again. “Have you made it so no one can hear us?” She asked when they were all settled. Helion now sat in the chair next to him, giving him a nod, Feyre sitting on the arm of Rhysand’s seat. The High Lord of the Night Court gave a dip of his head. “Warded the moment you closed the door, my love.”

“Good. Now, onto what we brought the both of you here for.”

Helion crossed an ankle over the other knee, hands linked where they rested in his lap. The High Lord of Day was dressed in a mix of gold and black. Gold fabric covered his body. One side of his chest left bare, clothing pinned at the other, flowing down his body, belted at the skirt. It was embroidered around the hem with reds and greens, and it seemed to shimmer like glitter under moonlight. Sandals wrapped around the dark skin of his calves. “Forgive me for asking, but why such secrecy? Can you not trust your own family?”

Lucien didn’t understand why they were being so careful all of a sudden, either. Any time he’d been in here, discussing all the problems they were still trying to overcome from the war with Hybern, they’d never stopped the others inside the house from being able to hear too. Rhys tilted his head slightly to the side. “The information will leave this room when you do, and you will do with it as you see fit.”

Lucien spoke then, frustrated. “You brought me here hours ago, told me absolutely nothing on why I had to come. Just tell us what’s going on.” Rhys raised a dark brow at him, but said nothing, so he turned to Feyre. She sighed, wringing her hands together before stopping herself. It was one of her nervous traits, and nervous traits accompanied by serious conversations never boded well.

“Back when we were trying to get the High Lords to work together, to help us against Hybern, you told us a story about Lucien’s mother, Helion.”

“Yes, I did.” Lucien hadn’t known that. But he supposed looking for Myriam and Drakon meant he wasn’t privy to a lot of information. There were things from the time he was gone that he was still learning about.

“Including the affair that you had.” Lucien sucked in a sharp breath, slowly looking at the male seated beside him. Beron was not nice to his mother, he knew that. But the man had spies everywhere, always had. He would have had to have known about his mother being with Helion. And if he knew, he would have had her killed for it.

“But my mother lives. My father wouldn’t have allowed her to live after he’d found out. And trust me he knows, he always knows when his family isn’t doing exactly what he wants them to.” Beron would have wanted to set an example, a vicious one at that. He showed that with what happened to Jessminda. Thinking of her only made Lucien think fondly of their good memories together now. He was no longer attacked by grief and self hatred, though waves of sadness would come and go. On the bad days, the storm in his head made them rough and dangerous, but those were few and far between.

Feyre started to look uncomfortable, causing Rhys to continue. “To have killed her, would have caused a scandal. He was younger then, and it wouldn’t have done him any good.”

Lucien still didn’t understand and it was starting to piss him off. His fire tempted its boundaries, flames growing hotter and higher in his frustration. It felt as if it were boiling his blood, heating his skin. He pushed it down into the depths where it belonged. “The only scandal is that she wasn’t faithful. The gods know he fucking hasn’t been. But then again it was always ‘do as I say and not as I do’ with him anyway.” Feyre simply shook her head at him. He opened his mouth to say something, to say how pointless this meeting was if they weren’t going to get to the point, when Helion suddenly sucked in a sharp breath from beside him. Lucien startled slightly.

“Mother above.” He breathed. “He can’t be. No, you’re lying, I don’t believe you.” Helion just stared at Lucien when he turned to him, amber eyes wide, mouth partly open.

“I’m not lying, Helion. I figured it out that day, and I’ve also had his mother confirm, but do not ask me how. You can see why Beron hated him the most now.” Lucien was severely done with them taking but still not explaining anything to him.

“Confirm what! What are you fucking talking about?” Rhysand looked at him, not even phased by his outburst.

“Beron is not your father, Lucien.” No. No. They were lying. When he looked at Feyre, when he looked at his friend, she gave him a small nod. He looked back at the male beside him, the male who seemed to be shocked into silence by the situation.

As if Lucien’s life couldn’t get anymore fucked.

It had been months since that day. Feyre told them again that she wouldn’t say how she’d been in contact with his mother, and Lucien didn’t want her to tell him anything anyway, no matter how much he wished to find out so he could see how she was. To talk to her himself. It would put her at risk, and Lucien wouldn’t allow that. And he knew now that Helion wouldn’t either. His father. The High Lord of Day was his father. Lucien was the sole heir to the Day Court. Helion had been nothing but welcoming in the time sincerely but he never pushed. Said that it didn’t have to mean anything, if it wasn’t what he wanted. Lucien had been a little confused with his wants at first, but had decided that he wanted them to acknowledge it. Wanted them to get to know each other.

Helion asked him a few weeks ago to stay with him. They didn’t have to be in the same building, that Lucien could stay wherever he liked in the Day Court, but he did want him to stay. Lucien had found he couldn’t refuse. Jurian and Vassa had been angry with him, saying that he was just abandoning them, that clearly he’d only used them. He had tried to explain that he’d just found the one who had actually fathered him. That he wanted them to have some kind of relationship, something that was robbed from the both of them. The two wouldn’t hear it, and told him to leave. So he went. They had each been closer to each other than they ever had with Lucien anyway.

That was how he was here now, standing in the garden of the small townhouse his father had found for him, the male in question standing across from him. Helion was standing in the early morning rays, arms at his sides, golden crown absent and spouting words Lucien never thought he’d hear in his life. “You want to do what?” Lucien said, still wondering if this was something that was actually happening. Helion sighed, rubbing both hands over his face for a moment, before pulling them away.

“I know that it’s not even been that long since we’ve found out the truth. And I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but I think this could be the biggest step towards allying the courts together.” Lucien could see the frustration on his face, knowing that he struggled to ask this.

“You want me to marry the High Lord of Summer?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know that you want to do this?” Helion moved closer to him a little.

“I proposed a marriage alliance to Tarquin, but I didn’t say who. He agreed after a lengthy discussion, but only if who I chose wanted it. You know I haven’t formally announced that you are my son yet, and this would mean I’d have to.” Lucien folded his arms across his chest, suddenly self conscious.

“And you don’t want to announce it?”

“No.” Lucien stopped, hands tightening where they rested on his biceps. Helion, suddenly realising what he’d said, scrambled to backtrack. “Gods, I meant yes. Yes I want to tell them all I have a son. I just weren’t sure if you were ready for that.” His father let out an unsteady breath, meeting Lucien’s eyes for a second before looking away, only two repeat that over and over. “You don’t have to do this, but having my son marrying into another court makes the alliance stronger than if I were to pick out anyone else.” Lucien understood. And he understood wanting all of the courts to get along. It would mean they could truly live in peace, something they had all hoped for.

“I’ll do it.” Helion’s head shot up, disbelief written across his face.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I really thought you were going to say no, probably yell at me or something.” Lucien’s brows furrowed, a red lock of hair falling in front of his face.

“Why would I do that?” Helion sighed, almost exasperated. Though Lucien noticed he didn’t hold tension in his shoulders anymore, seemed more relaxed and at ease now that Lucien had answered him.

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was using you. Also, I didn’t even ask. Do you like males? That should have been a question right? I mean, I just assumed, I shouldn’t have.” His father was rambling, and Lucien chuckled.

“Yes, I like males. And Tarquin is a good male, a good High Lord. It might not end in love but, I might get a friendship out of it.” Lucien smiled, a full grin, teeth showing. It was something he realised he hadn’t done in a long, long time. Suddenly the breath was sucked out of him, and strong arms wrapped around his body. It took a moment, but Lucien returned the gesture, hugging him back. Helion was taller than him, and nearly pulled him off of his feet.

“I’m sorry. Sorry for asking. I should have found another way.”

“It’s alright. I think this might be good for me. I had Tamlin and we both know how that ended. I didn’t fit, at the Night Court, not like they do. And Jurian and Vassa...well, I told you what happened. Maybe I’ll find a home with Tarquin.” Helion pulled back, holding his shoulders, a soft smile on his face.

“You may not think it, but you fit here. I never got to be there before, and part of me is glad because the not knowing kept you and your mother safe, but I’m here now. I want to be your father.”

“Thank you.” They decided to continue walking through the garden then. Mostly in companionable silence, occasionally asking the odd question here and there. Lucien was getting lost in his own thoughts. He wondered whether Tarquin would be okay that it was Lucien he was marrying. If they’d be able to make some kind of happy life together. The few times he’d seen him before, Lucien could admit he was attracted to him. It was easy to make conversation with Tarquin, to find common interests. There was the chance it would never turn romantic and Lucien would be okay with that, but at least he’d have a companion to live his life with.

Maybe this was his chance to get his own happy ending.

~~~~~~

Well there it is. The beginning. You’ll see Tarquin next time I promise but I just wanted to give you something to see if you were going to like the story or not. Please be respectful, I’m tired of the ship wars. I want this to be a safe place for me to post the ideas that I have.

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