#also updated my rules a little and fixed up my verses

[ragedagainst]

it's been like two weeks since i changed my url and i just remembered that i have to update my carrd and fix all of my links to reflect that 🧍‍♂️ sorry to everyone who tried to access those, everything should be fixed now !!

[moonfox281]

Hi Moon🌙, your pen is so beautiful, and to be honest with you, there days when the only thing that gives me the power to resume the day is your stories. I in love with Nightwing and Red hood in your writing, and I want you to know that someone across the sea always waiting for your update. English is not my first language 😊. Note: can please write a story about John and Jason take care of sick Dick 🙈

Thank you for such a beautiful heart-to-heart message. It always feels like a boost of energy getting to know that, at least, somewhere, my writting is making a small impact on someone.

And don't worry, English isn't my first language either. We're here talking anyway (´ ꒳` )

"101.4"

Dick pouted when Jason raised the thermometer to his head and forced him to look.

"No more patrol for you."

"But-"

"No but."

One night, one rain, and two hours soaking wet and cold. All of those were enough to knock Dick off his feet and bedridden him for the rest of the week.

Hated to admit, but this also might partly be Jason's fault. They shouldn't have screwed around in the shower after that, and now Dick was beet red and coughing his lungs out.

"Stay, pop." John crouched over and tugged the comforter up to Dick's neck. He had gotten so big over the years, but each time he hunched over their bed, half climbing in like wanting to join in their arms, he turned back to the little scrawny kid Jason fished out of Crime Alley that one late night.

"Get a mask, John. I'm contagious."

"I've lived on the street. Can't go down that easy."

Jason fist-bumped his boy and climbed over, joining in. They all ended up in a pile surrounding Dick. At least his husband wasn't complaining. Dick was always weak to heat, and John and Jason were practically two human heaters.

By the door, Beast came tapping his feet and claws down the wooden floor. He gave Jason those pleading eyes, whinny huffs when circling around the bed. Jason, who came up with the strict rule of not sleeping on the bed. His forth stayed strong until John started kicked his legs and Jason nodded his head, letting the dog jumped on the end of their bed and made his home there.

For the first time in forever, he was glad their bed was massive.

"Don't you boys have somewhere to go? A school to attend? A crime organization to run, perhaps?"

"I'll skip class."

"No you won't."

"I'll cancel today."

"No you won't either."

Jason fixed his place by Dick's side. He ran hotter with a fever, cheeks rose and lips red. Blue eyes sparkles on the verse of tears after each series of aggressive coughs.

He knew how to rile him up even when bed sick. Jason rolled over uncomfortably in his suit, clumsy with where to put his hands and feet. He dreaded to pull Dick closer but also not too close.

"You wear the set I gave you last Christmas." said Dick with his hands ran along the length of Jason's suit and tie. Bony fingers tuck underneath the waistcoat, down to his dress shirt and warm over the centre of his chest.

"It must be something important. You should go."

"Nothing is more important than you."

"That's not what a crime lord should say."

Jason snorted, "That's not how a husband should reply."

Dick stretched and hiked up in his arms and elbow, pulling Jason's by the tie and crawl fingers on his neck. He moved as he liked, had fun toying with people's hearts. Jason's heart in particular.

"Take John to school and go to your meeting. I'll call Jeff up."

"Nice, why don't you ring Slade over to join as well. Maybe Roy too. He'll come running a city away with champagne and flowers."

"What's with you and the people I know?"

"I don't know, what's with you and men who are eager to get in your pants?"

"Asshole."

"Your asshole," he shoved his ringed finger up and at Dick's face, "Forever!"

Dick laughed hard and it felt good to make Dick laughed in such an earnest, banal way. Even though his lungs quickly regretted it and pulled out a string of violent coughs and sneezes that left him breathless and sweaty.

John perked up from where he laid by Dick's side, "I'll got get some warm water." He was quick to his feet, hop off the bed and soon enough, they heard him clattering around in the kitchen all the way from the bedroom.

"He loves you."

"I know." admitted Dick, all swoon and putty against the impact of their son's silent affection.

"We loves you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know." Dick's head turned to look at him, "I love you too."

"No, you don't get it." Jason climbed over and let Dick flopped down mattress from where he leaned on him earlier.

With both hands planted by Dick's head, it was so painfully obvious how different their sizes was. Dick wasn't small but he wasn't particularly big either, but Jason? Jason was a fucking giant. And he took full advantage of his physic.

"I love you." He exclaimed again, placing his big palm down Dick's heaving chest, and pressed until Dick coughed out again. "I love you. So don't fucking die on me."

It felt nice to have Dick all ruffled up underneath him, to have the mattress sunk under his weight and Dick looked up at him with sparking blue eyes, rosy cheeks and sweaty skin.

And it felt like some certain screws must be running loose in Jason's head for him to think of a sick person this way. But since when normality was in the Bat-kin bio? None of them was supposed to be normal. Same went for the grinning devil under his mass.

Sick or well, Dick was a fucking pandora box to not be poked. He wrapped his legs around Jason's waist and- Christ all mighty- turned the table. Jason went down with a painful creak of the bed, arms and legs, muscle and guns. None mattered with a Dick Grasyon in a milky wool cardigan and sweatpants, tousled hair and shimmering in golden light, straddled him right on the crotch.

Jason found himself praising the Lord, he wasn't even religious, he just found the need to thank some god for letting him crawl out of his grave to eventually crawl into this holy man's bed.

"Don't get cocky."

"Yes sir." came out instinctively, trembly like a fucking hoarse chicken.

"Drive John to school, and when you both get back, get me some cough syrup."

Dick trailed his hand down Jason's tie, pulled it, jerked him off the bed, and automatically, his hands found their way on Dick's hips to lock their bodies tight against one and another.

"I won't die. At least not until I'm the death of you."

"Y-yes."

"What?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy."

If Jason could see his own face now, he must look fucking stupid. But there wasn't something wrong, because this was Dick fucking Grayson. And Dick fucking Grayson was straddling his thighs and hooking his fingers in the short ends of Jason's hair.

At the door, John stood dumbfounded, water in hands, barefoot against the floor and mouth agape.

"Go to school, chump."

"Yes, sir."

This was Dick fucking Grayson.

[requiemofrebellion]

small little update to rules. if you wish to not scan over them on my carrd, this is what has been changed under the cut:

 this blog is anime based only — I don’t normally read the manga of any applicable media. this blog also has some video game characters but not many.

i usually run my blog on a schedule that you can find on my pinned post. However, sometimes i may not have a schedule but everything will be updated on my pinned post. 

due to the nature of certain fandoms, there will be triggering themes on this blog. I will be tagging all common triggers such as blood, gore, drugs, torture — ect. triggers will be tagged trigger name tw. if you have a trigger listed on your blog, I will do my absolute best to tag that trigger if it comes up on my blog. keep in mind, I am only human so if I miss a tag / forgot — please send me a message and I will fix it as soon as I can. on that note, i also like to explore darker subjects and am okay with writing darker things.

even though i am well over the age for nsfw things, you will most likely not see smut on this blog. If it does happen it will be tagged and placed under a read more.

this blog is multiship. I ship based on chemistry of our muses and cannot just “jump” into a ship. chemistry can be formed by interactions and/or us talking about them ooc. i love all ships, including hate-ships and toxic ships so you will be seeing different shipping dynamics on this blog.

currently i don't need anything tagged. If that ever changes, I will make a post and update my rules, of course.

what has been taken out:

took out about the snippet of verses cause i am slow with bios.

took off the trigger i had on there, doing better and don't need it anymore.

reworded the shipping rule

[sugarplum-senpai]

Magpie chapter 90 is up!

With the spoilers for the final manga chapter coming out earlier today, I thought I might just share tomorrow’s update for Magpie a little early.

There’ll be an official link post soon, but for those who want to read already, you can do so here.

I also want to thank you for your wonderful feedback on the last chapters and want to assure everyone who is still a little worried for my boys here that I could never off any of my characters (Claudio, of course, being the exception to prove the rule—we all knew he had it coming 😉). This is fanfic, and this verse was always meant to be a fix it verse with all the glowing feelings, even four and a half years ago when the manga hadn’t even introduced the life span issue just yet. Trust me when I say Magpie does get the happy ending it deserves. Since it is fanfic and hence meant to bring happiness and hope. Also, I truly couldn’t write it any other way.

[vesperlionheart]

Vesper’s Quarantine ‘Finished’ Reading List

If you’re stuck indoors and feeling anxious sometimes the best thing is to drown your brain in distractions until you’re able to function again. Thus, I’ve put together a list of Sakura centric stories to entertain you. There’s a lot of shameless self promo here, fair warning, but it’s my blog and my blogpost so that’s where we’re gonna start.  Some of my favorite fic are ones still being updated but this list includes only stories marked as [complete]. 

[Finished personal fic]

Obelisk: Kingdom of Man By: VesperChan 'She could swear she smelt sulfur when she exhaled. Nothing good ever came from boys who smelled like sulfur.' An ancient Egyptian curse and a world of dreams opens Sakura up to a life devoid of safety. In the darkness her nightmares bow themselves to her. In the morning they feast on her heart. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Beasts By: VesperChan One Kingdom down, three to go. Carrying the scars on her heart, Sakura must brave the dreams again as this time, there are more sinister things then men waiting for her when she goes to sleep. The wolves have come to feast and her body will know their teeth. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Monsters By: VesperChan More than halfway through the curse, Sakura's nightmares hold nothing back as fangs and spells seek to drag her down and bury her with the dead. Monsters have come at least to feast on what is left of her bones and devour her wounded heart. Beyond the scars and bloodshed, her soul is beginning to fade under the dim lights of another enchanted speakeasy and ruby eyes. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Gods By: VesperChan Entering the final kingdom, Sakura stands atop a castle of sand to face down the gods who first orchestrated the curse and began the bloody tradition of collecting human souls in a little black obelisk. Gladiators, Egyptian gods, and blood thirsty pharaohs paint a vivid picture on the inside of her mind as she sleeps, dreams, and struggles once again. AU SakuraMany Total word count for Obelisk series: 565,292 (just over half a million words)

RED KING By: VesperChan In the wild country where it never snows but always freezes, the Red King marches his armies against the White Tsar. That is why Sakura is swept away from the lonely streets and the empty barracks into a car with a bastard prince and a promise of redemption, but if only she can face the demons that chased her in the first place and be what the king needs in his war. SakuraCentric 

Touken Revolution by Vesperchan (rated E)  Sakura, a sword smith, is nearly killed for what she really is: a sage, one who can animate weapons into warriors and give bodies to the souls she hears inside swords. Now a refugee in the land of Kiri she's building an army because it's her only hope for survival and maybe even happiness. SakuraKiri Sakura centric

Things We Lost in the Fire By: VesperChan Years later, living alone in the woods with half a dozen dogs, questionable reading material, and crippling non-attachment issues, Sakura realizes she has turned into her teacher. Agebent Sakura Sensei ShiSaku

Jealous gods by Vesperchan When a coup takes the lives of the king and the rest of the royal family, Sakura, the sole surviver, escapes to the edge of the world with Kakashi to strike a bargain with an old god. Her worship in exchange for his power. She's warned he's a dark and jealous god, but that's not enough to sway her. ItaSaku Kakasaku darkItachi AU

Lindworm & the Tam Lin Love a Changling by Vesperchan Sakura travels as a curse breaker across the land, doing what she can to put some peace back into the world. She doesn't think much of it when she breaks the curse on a lesser dragon or a fae knight, but maybe she should have. MadaSaku, HashiSaku Poly

A Confluence of Stars by Vesperchan (my WitcherAU) With the war over between two princedoms, Sakura, a sniper, returns home to celebrate Confluence with her grandmother, the local Story Keeper. She had expected it to be nothing more than just another celebration when the star rivers overlapped and the poor people partied. But, along with the rest of the world, Sakura soon realizes that Confluence did more than just give people a reason to celebrate. A wicked new world filled with monsters and magic straight from Baba's tales spills into theirs, and Sakura is forced to turn to her rifle and her stories to make sense of it. Sakuracentric 

Sugarplum by Vesperchan "They will use you up, and love you all the while, until there is nothing left of the girl you used to be." Sakura had been a chosen one, once upon a time, but that was years ago, and all the magic has left her. Still, the world calls her back and she has a new role in supporting the next girl savior many years her junior. ItaSakuSaso

Stag by Vesperchan  He was a wizard with a tower and a set of rules he should never break. Sakura was a girl with just a bit of budding magic he decides he can't ignore. Some things were made to be broken. TobiSaku 

[Finished general fic list]

Hollow Point by Sariasprincy @sariasprincy​ Arms dealing is her trade, but young and in a man's world, it takes a criminal mastermind to play with the big dogs without getting bit. TobiSaku/ItaSaku. Crime!AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Where it Happened also by @sariasprincy​e He was the new head of Cardio and her new boss, and though she thought him a little full of himself, it seemed there was more to the famed Uchiha Itachi than he led on. Not that she could claim her life was that uncomplicated as well. ItaSaku. Modern AU. Grey's Anatomy AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Nightmare in Red by @sariasprincy​ Haruno Sakura used to think the eyes were the windows to the soul, but after witnessing the horrors of the Sharingan firsthand, she's convinced they are the doors. ItaSaku. Nonmass. Rated T

Blurred Lines  by @sariasprincy​He was an international criminal. She was a federal agent. And she wanted nothing more than to arrest him - or shoot him - if only he would stop providing her leads to more desirable criminals first. MadaSaku. Rated T.

The Man in Black  A man in black haunts her hospital. But what does he want and why is it that Sakura is the only one that can see him? ItaSaku. Modern Myth AU. Death AU

The Choices We Make by @sariasprincy​He was the Head of the Uchiha Clan and she the fearless discipline of the Hokage, but how the hell was she supposed to find the strength to tell him she was pregnant? MadaSaku. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

halcyon days by jaylene @thefreckledone​ Sakura sees dead people. Well, two dead people to be exact. Everything changes. Sakura-centric. Indra/Sakura/Ashura. 

hands like houses by @thefreckledone Sakura finds herself trapped in the past and discovers a new family along the way, however unwilling she may be. Time travel. Fix-it fic. Sakura-centric.

Borage by @thefreckledone Sakura is in search for answers. What she finds doesn't please her.

Forest Fire by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. Sasu x Saku x Ita. A small spark can launch a forest fire.

Forest Fire II by Moor @kendochick-moor Sequel to "Forest Fire". University AU. Sasu X Saku X Ita. After Sasuke inexplicably broke up with her when he leaves for Oto, Sakura throws herself into her school and social life. Friends like Ino, and surprisingly Itachi, are there to help her along the way. Meanwhile another threat, in the form of unbalanced Uchiha Madara, stalks her, ever nearer.

Tipsy series by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. MadaSaku. The 1-5 part  of the "5 Drunkfics" prompts.  (Rated 'M' for language & themes)

Akatsuki Sakura AU by moor  DeiSaku, ItaSaku. Konoha-verse AU. Akatsuki Sakura AU. Raised by Uchiha Madara as part of the Akatsuki, Sakura is sent to infiltrate Konoha's ranks. Things become complicated when she is promoted to a team with one of Konoha's most well-respected ANBU captains, Uchiha Itachi.

Soulmates by Moor - KakaSaku. Age-swap AU. Based on the "Soulmates" prompt from the October 2015 tumblr KakaSaku fest. Kakashi has a reputation as an enfant terrible; at least, until Sakura sensei takes him under her wing. Rated M for later chapters.

Fancy Footwork by silverfootsteps @silverfootstepswrites For Sakura, there's always been dreary days of schoolwork and unreliable people. Who knew a clumsy womanizer, an accidental pervert, a soft-hearted glutton, and an incredibly sexy virgin would light her life up like this? A friendship founded on dancing and the strange threat that tied them all together: "Fiji". AU

Equinox by silverfootsteps Sakura is half-siren, half-human, and 100% unprepared for what waits for her when she moves to a little seaside town. A place where calling someone a monster always receives the answer: "….well, duh". Monster AU. Multisaku.

Lullaby by Silverfootsteps Sakura is part-siren, part-human, and learning how to deal with a nest of lovable dorks. But nothing seems impossible in the sleepy little town of Old Pines, where magic hangs heavy in the air and a certain werewolf has learned to stop pissing everywhere. Sort of. Sequel to Equinox. Monster AU. Polysaku af.

Butterfly by silverfootsteps After winning her first and only Olympic gold, Haruno Sakura shocks the world by announcing her retirement from skating. When she returns to her little hometown of Konoha, she finds that not much has changed. The same old temples, the same old persimmon trees. Resigned to a quiet life, she settles in for what she hopes will be an uneventful retirement. Skating AU. Itasaku.

Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

Vertigo by Cynchick Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

An Indispensable Assistant by TayMor Professional. Intelligent. Intuitive. Haruno Sakura is the assistant every boss wants. She is smart, she is capable, and she is experienced. Operating with her own hard and fast rules, Sakura has one, very important personal rule. Never fall in love with your boss. However, being indispensable to Uchiha Itachi will put that rule under heavy duress. AU. 

The Third Chance by TayMor reviewsJust because he died didn't mean he got to stay dead. The Rikudo Sennin reincarnates Uchiha Madara as his 26 year old self and he begins his third life broken, humiliated and full of despair. But things change as Madara finds himself competing against Sasuke for the attention of Konoha's favorite medic... MadaSakuSasu Set after the final battle and during the blank period.

Rainy Days by Wynth It took her a while before Sakura was convinced that she was once again in her twelve year old body, but by that time it was too late. •Time-Travel / AU•

Consequences of Saving a Life by BelleDayNight reviewsAt the end of the war, Neji is revived by Sakura. She has saved his life, now she is responsible for it. The Hyuga clan leader covets the power that Naruto and Sakura could bring the clan with unions with Hinata and Neji. Can they survive the politics of the noble clan? Naruto trains with Sasuke and Hanabi for CPE while Sakura and Neji embark on a mission together for the Daimyo.

Take It or Leave It by kc-archive  Akatsuki & Sakura. After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (dubcon warning)

Till Death Due Us Apart  by SpeedDemon315​ Ever since he was gone, she never was the same. The world was warm and cheery while she was cold and dreary. She thought there was no hope left for her…or was there? Oneshot, character death [SasorixSakura]

Bringing Back What's Dead by SpeedDemon315  Sequel to Till Death Due Us Apart. She made a promise to herself to discover a way to revive him and have him finally see his son. What happens when your greatest enemy from the past is the only one who can grant your fondest wish? SakuraxSasori

Time Flies Like An Arrow by katlou303 Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's a four-year-old civilian having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.

The Art of War by leafygirl  Entry for the LJ Kakasaku AU contest. Sakura gets stuck following her teacher after a bet with her friends. But his mysterious life is nothing she ever expected.

Vespertine by Cynchick  Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.

Caught and Set Loose by Celtic Oak AU. On a mission, Sakura and her companions find themselves in the custody of the wildest clan of the East Province. Forced to accept their hospitality and a redheaded escort, the medic must make the best of her situation, wherever it leads her. GaaSaku. 

[ace-oreos]

Hamilton writing prompt #8

Those were for asks, right? I’m gonna feel dumb if they’re not

Haha yes, they were for asks. 

In true Dar fashion, I took this in a different direction than it was presented in the  show. Sort of. Also, does it still count if I don’t use the exact quote?

Hamilton prompt #8: “How ‘bout when I get back, we all strip down to our socks.”

(tw: mentions of alcohol)

Being coerced into attending another one of these social functions General Kenobi greatly enjoys would be bad enough without the Null ARC.

Alpha isn’t exactly surprised to see Mereel make his way through the crowd, glass in hand, charming anyone who will spare him half a glance. He’s smiling and flirtatious and nothing about him suggests he’s anything more than a harmless civilian enjoying a night on the town. 

Which he isn’t.

Which Alpha really couldn’t care less about. 

Normally.

Except he’s stuck in a suffocatingly hot room surrounded by several hundred people waltzing around in varying degrees of intoxication until General Kenobi returns from his negotiations with the Mandalorian duchess. A glorified bodyguard at best. 

Alpha kind of hates his life.

He also hates Mereel, which is why he sees no reason to acknowledge the other ARC. Mereel, having the mentality of a five year old and also just being Mereel, waves his hand in Alpha’s face until Alpha finally grumbles something that passes as a hello. 

“You’re such a killjoy, you know that?” Mereel says brightly, draping an arm over Alpha’s shoulders like they’re old friends. 

(They’re not.)

���I’ve been on babysitting duty for three hours,” Alpha informs him. “Excuse me for not prancing around holding hands with everyone and singing some aruetyc osik.”

Mereel rolls his eyes. “You’re so shabla dramatic.”

“That from the king of drama.”

“King is such a limited term, don’t you think? We prefer something a little more neutral.”

“We?”

“Unimportant,” Mereel says airily. “The point is - ”

“Mereel, I don’t give a - ”

“ - you need to expand your horizons,” Mereel finishes, poking Alpha in the chest.   

Alpha already knows far more about Mereel’s ideas for expanding his horizons than he ever wanted to. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Still hung up on upholding Fett’s legacy, eh? Can’t let your hair down with the rest of us mortals for once?” 

Alpha stiffens. “That’s got nothing to do with it.”

“Look, I’m not asking you to get disgustingly drunk, have an illicit affair with a high-ranking ambassador, and unwittingly destabilize an entire government. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, for one thing.”

“Wait, what - ”

“All I’m saying is, let your guard down a bit. Have some fun.” Mereel twirls the ornate glass between his fingers. “No one has to know.”

“Do you ever contribute anything to the war effort?” Alpha demands. 

“I’d love to discuss classified information with you, ner vod, but you’re dodging the issue.” 

“I’m not dodging anything!” 

“Coward,” Mereel mutters. “Wait one.”

Mereel marches away before Alpha can get a word in. He lets out a long sigh, thinking maybe he’s gotten off easy for once. Sadly, Mereel returns not two minutes later, accompanied by a woman who is gazing up at him with a look of complete adoration. 

Alpha fixes Mereel with a glare. “You can’t be serious.”

“Hearts and minds, Captain.”

“You are such a - ” Alpha glances at the woman and rapidly changes track. “Um, nice to meet you?” 

“Your brother?” the woman asks Mereel like Alpha isn’t standing right there.

“Yes,” the Null answers, reaching out to ruffle Alpha’s hair.

Alpha swats him away. “No.”

“But aren’t you - ”

“Genetically identical?” Alpha interrupts wearily. “Actually, no.”

“I’m a headcase,” Mereel says helpfully.

“That’s true.”

“And I’m older.” 

“By a few months. That’s not that big a difference.”

“I see,” the woman says. She manages to look politely interested.

Mereel disentangles himself from her and throws his arm around Alpha’s shoulders again; Alpha promptly grinds his heel into the other ARC’s foot. Mereel winces almost imperceptibly, then tightens his hold until Alpha is crushed against his side. 

“With my brother being so young and all, he hasn’t gotten the chance to… experience the social scene to its fullest. I thought you might be able to do something about that.” Mereel grins and adds impishly, “He’s shy.”

The woman, sadly, seems to be interested by this train of thought. Alpha, quite frankly, would rather die.

Mereel frowns like he’s thinking. Then his face splits into a stupid grin once more. “Tell you what, I’ll get us some drinks, we’ll have some fun, maybe go somewhere less crowded, and strip down to our socks.”

Alpha, very aware that his face is bright red, can only manage to stammer out a horrified “Mereel!” 

Based on how all twelve years of Alpha’s life have gone thus far, he has very little faith in the will of the Force or anything like that, but when Obi-Wan Kenobi chooses that moment to reappear at the far end of the room - casting rapid glances over his shoulder and looking a little more red-faced than when he left - Alpha is devoutly thankful. 

The room erupts in chatter at the sight of the Jedi. Alpha takes advantage of Mereel’s momentary distraction to duck away and leave the crowd far behind.

Mereel still finds him half an hour later. He looks surprisingly steady for someone who’s spent the last several hours sampling the finest wines this side of the Core. 

“I wasn’t joking when I said you were shy,” he observes. 

“We’ve been over this,” Alpha grumbles. “You know I don’t… I’m not…”

“Well-versed in women? Precisely why I offered to help.”

“It’s not that,” Alpha sighs.

Mereel tilts his head. “Men? I can help with that, too.”

“Neither,” Alpha says firmly. “All that stuff you were talking about - I’m not interested.”

“The drinking part I can understand, you’re underage and I know you’re a stickler for rules - ”

“Not that, di’kut. The other stuff.” 

“Oh, the - ah. Right.”

“I’m serious. None of that interests me.” Mereel looks like he might actually be listening, so Alpha takes a chance and continues, “Look, I’m not looking for a relationship, alright? I don’t want one. Ever. I’m okay with that. In fact I’d prefer it that way.”

Mereel studies him. Alpha waits to hear you just haven’t met the right one yet! Or the ever-popular how do you know if you’ve never tried?

“It’s all good, ner vod,” Mereel says at last. “It’s your life.” He reaches up to ruffle Alpha’s hair. 

Alpha catches his wrist. “Don’t push your luck.”

Mereel takes the hint but still bumps his shoulder into Alpha’s on his way back inside. “K’oyacyi, vod’ika.”

“Where are you off to?” Alpha asks, letting vod’ika slide for the time being. 

The Null smiles crookedly. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll hear about it.”

“Are we talking explosions or something a little more… subtle?” 

“Don’t ruin the surprise, vod’ika. It’s my big moment.”

“Next time you get an op like that, we’re trading places.”

“Deal.” 

“Keep me updated on the general’s proceedings with the duchess.”

Alpha rolls his eyes. Kenobi and the duchess are another headache he won’t ever be prepared to deal with. 

“You might want to keep an eye on that,” Mereel tosses over his shoulder. “I think they’ve wandered off again.”

Yeah, Alpha’s had about as much as he can take of these little social exploits.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

29. The Altar of Grace

Previous Word Count: 4535

“Worship me,” Grace whispered, smiling. Hazel walked back into the room and she hung up the phone and set it aside. Simon didn’t call back. The commandment sounded final for the conversation. The challenge, hardly one at all. He did that every single day. With the exception of when he was at his sickest, backsliding, they would call it in the church - a problem that his mother often saw herself as having when she was younger, because she refused to ever acknowledge that maybe her problem wasn’t spiritual. She gave up even trying after they lost Hope. 

The Laurent family lost Hope, and Faith followed shortly after. But Simon? He found Grace. He was more used to the concept of grace than she was. The only time her family ever stepped foot in a church was for political reasons or at the very least public opinion. The little that Grace knew about any of that was stuff that she’d seen in media, and stuff that Simon had programmed inside of him. She’d once joked that he was going to start an Apex megachurch (there were megachurches all over California, and he had grown up in a church house), but the way that his mind went from outlining a few ground rules for the Apex to taking his knowledge of church legislature and formatting a very religious like experience in both praxis and adherence made her let the joke die off fast.

The Apex had been no joke to Simon. It had been, for lack of better comparison, his megachurch. At the center was Grace, and he worshiped at her altar, spreading the gospel of the Apex, the gospel of Grace. He wasn’t just making things up, in his mind. He was just telling others of his vision, of the world at her feet, of himself at her feet. The Bible often spoke of grace, but Simon was never sure of it before her, and once he was sure, his mind easily melded together the concept of grace with the incarnation that was Grace. She hadn’t asked for it. She was born into what she was. She had never really seemed to care one way or another about all of her faithful followers, the mass he organized at school, the branches of his discipleship that spread far and wide online. She had only ever cared about her chosen one. He was that. The one at the right hand of the throne of God, herself.

Grace’s commandment wasn’t unclear, nor was it new to him. It was simply her paraphrasing the Word of God, that he had always been familiar with to some extent. He had memorized verses in his youth. He had heard prayers throughout his life. He knew what she meant. He told her that he would do anything. Threw himself at her mercy to beg forgiveness. He was ready for her to give him his punishment, to give him his instruction, and her response, whether she realized it or not, was one wrapped up in the grace the preachers always spoke of. Because she gave him no punishment, just something that came as naturally to him as breathing - worship me… and she would give him what he was requesting… herself, which was everything he needed.

Sure, one could argue that this was the temptation of Satan. “All this I will give you, if you bow down and worship me.” Simon never believed in Satan. He didn’t really believe in God, either. But, the programming, the ritual, the practices… those were ingrained in him. He simply needed something to sit in the throne of his heart. He could see her there, as clearly as if she were in an actual throne… The was going to MAKE her an actual throne! 

Simon sat his phone down and went back to his workspace.

.

The weekend with Hazel was exactly what Grace needed to rediscover her equilibrium as single mother, independent woman, career lady, etc. Hazel was exhausted, but Grace was revived. Did she wish that she could still go for spontaneous jogs and not have to worry about leaving Hazel for a little bit? Sure, but she had an in home dance studio that she could work off just as much… toxicity. Simon hadn’t contacted her again. But, he was posting every day.

She wasn’t checking, but someone still to this day insisted on tagging her to things or sending her things. Some of these people HAD to make backup accounts, because no matter how many people her social media reps blocked for that, they continued coming. It was actually a few weeks later that she got a call from her contact assistant. She was in the middle of rehearsals for her next music video, as she was planning to finally release an album during her 23rd year. “Yes, Ma’am?”

“Hey, Grace… I don’t know how else to word this but to say that I’ve gotten several calls to ask you about Simon Laurent’s current… situation and it seems like one of his worst meltdowns yet.”

“What? I JUST saw and talked to Simon a few weeks ago for my birthday and he was fine. Although… his mom is dying, so he may be taking that harder than he wants people to know. Just, send them the statement that Simon and I aren’t close enough that I know what is happening with him at all times, but hopefully he will receive the help that he needs in this instance, just as before.”

“Of course that’s my general answer, but there are some very specific concerns that I believe would matter a little more to you.”

“Like?” Grace asked, worried. If Simon had done something violent, or mean, or explosive, she was ready to cut the cord. She had an album, a child, and her 23rd year, and she was not going to waste as much time as she had in the past on overlooking things.

“Well… The first one is the hashtag The Apex Resurrected… it makes people think that you and Simon are mending things, which many people have thought for months, ever since his birthday in California and the family trip in Belize. Now, there are others coming out with accounts of having seen you two in the Bronx for your birthday - the elevator incident at the club, a few crude videos of you… um… dancing with him that night… and now this, weeks later.”

“The Apex Resurrected? I actually haven’t had anything to do with the Apex in a very long time. The Apex became Simon’s and as far as I knew, it was still a thing amongst the stans. You can release the statement that I don’t know anything about that, nor am I interested in learning.”

“Got it. Next cause for concern - He seems to be collecting various professionals in the Apex, or old Apex, or whatever it is for various tasks. Architecture, and other things. He has been making announcements about making a throne, about worshipping you, and about how he backslid…”

Grace bit her lip, “Okay… I may know something about that. Okay. Ummm… I’ll talk to him about it. What else should I be on the alert about?” 

“He’s buying a place in Riverdale.”

“Did he get the job?”

“Nothing that I’ve found mentions his job, but that he is buying a house. Grace… That’s not that far from East Village… Is it possible that he knows where you are?”

“No. I’ve been extremely careful and Hazel has too, to not mention things that may give way to our neighborhood. But, he was staying in Riverdale a few weeks ago whenever he was here around my birthday, so maybe he just liked it.”

“Well, he’s been speaking about researching if he can grow hazel trees in New York, because he apparently wants those trees on the property, specifically.”

“Okay, that’s a little concerning, maybe.”

“Moreso whenever he begins to poll followers to ask what type of accommodations they would suggest for child quarters for a female presenting child between the ages of 10 and 13.”

“Okay, no. That’s very concerning.”

“People are speculating that the two of you are moving in with him, or at the very least will frequent his home.”

“Shut it down with a simple ‘I didn’t even know that he had found a place in New York.’ We don’t need to tell anyone about Hazel and I being secretive about our neighborhood, as that will probably make people more curious and for all I know, there are Apex people sprinkled around here. Give me a moment to call him, then I’ll call you back for further updates.”

Grace took a deep breath and called Simon. “Grace! I’m so happy to hear from you! I was afraid that I wasn’t doing enough.”

“Simon… from what I’ve heard, you’re doing way too much, Dude. What’s uh… what’s going on, on your end?” He held the phone for a while, confused. “Simon?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, Grace. I don’t understand the question.”

“Okay. Well, my rep called me to say that she’s being contacted by outlets that are concerned about some of your behavior lately. Are you… okay?”

“I’m better than I’ve been in years! Everything is returning to normal, going back to the way things are meant to be.”

“Well… Now, I’M the one who doesn’t understand. What do you mean by returning to normal?”

He laughed. “Grace. I asked you what I needed to do, and I heard you. You’ve missed it. Your power, your following, your praise… and I am going to give it all back to you. I’m going to elevate you again, the way that I used to, the way I never should have stopped… I worship you. That’s what you told me to do to fix this.” He sounded very desperate, but hopeful. He also sounded like he knew that saying this out loud to her… they had a miscommunication. “Grace.” She was silent, but he knew that she was still there, doubting him, doubting herself. “What’s wrong with it? What’s wrong with worshiping you? In my own way? It never caused us any pain before. That pain didn’t begin until my love was stifled, and twisted in ways that didn’t feel natural. Are you going to tell me that you don’t think about where we might have been if I had just been allowed to love you like I knew how?”

“What you called love became unbearable for me,” she said.

“It won’t this time! You control whether or not I even get to see or talk to you. I just have to be patient. I have to remember that it isn’t about me. I have to thirst for what you’re willing to give me.”

“Simon, that’s extremely unhealthy.”

“I’m never going to have a healthy relationship! My background, my childhood, my conditions… I’m always going to struggle with normalcy and reason. Relationships will always be difficult and strange… But, does that mean that I can never be happy? That you can’t? The things that have made us happy in the past were things that were so extra to everybody else. You’re just as unhealthy as I am, you were just forced to face that sooner than me. That’s why even though you could have any man in the world, probably any woman, if we’re honest, you haven’t let go of me. I’m always with you. Even when we were broken, beyond reasonable repair, both of us kept holding on to all those fragments. We… belong, Grace. We’re family.”

“Simon… Hazel is my family…”

“Too.” he said. “Hazel is your family, too.”

“We can never be what we were, Simon. Worship me… I didn’t mean it like it sounded. I was being playful. Treat me super nice and buy me things. Fool around a little when we both have time… not… rebuilding the poison that we were together.”

“That poison is who we are. Even with help. We're never going to fully get it out of our systems. We just are learning to live with it there. You rush to save me any time you think I need it. I defend you before I even know a full story. That worked for us, for you and I, until I got greedy. I wanted more, when everything was in perfect harmony. I know that now. I won’t do it again.” 

“Simon…”

“I’m making room for Hazel, as well. I’m not trying to take you back or move her aside. I want all of us…”

“In this poison???”

“Unfortunately, Grace… just like us, that kid was born into poison. But, look at how good for her you are, and how good for you she is… And yet… you still hold on to me. Why can’t it be all of us? Working together and healing together? Why can’t I worship you and love Hazel, too?”

“Because I already made the mistake of trusting you and it went miserably! It’s still affecting me, to this day!”

“I know. It maybe always will, just like your parents always will, just like things that will happen between you and Hazel eventually will. Everything in our lives affects us in different ways and I affected you in a really bad way when I knocked you off of your pedestal..”

“It was YOUR pedestal! I never ASKED you to be that person! Then, I had to try to fill shoes that I didn’t even want!”

“But you want them now. Tell me that you don’t want me to faithfully follow you, to do whatever you ask, to atone through my acts for you. Tell me in honesty that you didn’t mean anything by telling me what you told me, and I’ll leave you alone.” They were both silent for a while, then she heard him exhale, relieved. He knew he was right. “Grace… I won’t hurt you again. I swear on everything that we could be together.”

“I’ll… see where you’re trying to go with… whatever you’re doing right now. But, we can’t just go back to normal, Si. Sometimes, just the thought of your face enrages me. Sometimes, I want to visit you JUST to punch you in the gut. We’re not gonna be just okay, even if we work at it.”

“Okay. That’s better than nothing. I had a mom who attacked me every time she saw me. You have no idea what I’m willing to go through to be close to you.”

“Therapy. We should… engage in at least combined therapy, and that’s before jumping to any conclusions that we’re going to be friends again or whatever. Also, I need to talk to Hazel, to see how she feels about you and even the idea of us reconciling to restore friendship for real.”

“She approves,” he said. “She thinks her mom OUGHT to be worshipped.”

“I know you didn’t talk to my baby about this.”

“I asked her for your hand in worship.”

“Ugh. STOP TALKING. I’m gonna… give you a little bit of space while I speak to Hazel and my team.”

“I’m going to continue what I was doing.”

“Are you… sure you’re okay?”

“I feel like you’re trying to ask me about my mental health. I’m fine. I’ve started even seeing a grief counselor that my therapist suggested, for the situation with my mom. I’m going to ask him about a couple’s therapy plan, since that’s important to you. My most recent meds are agreeing with me. I promise… I’m not having an episode, just further epiphany. I want you to have what you were content to have before… do you remember?"

"No. I barely remember my order at my favorite Ethiopian food place."

"You had a wonderful person that you loved and wanted to spend all of your time with.” She vaguely remembered that conversation now. It had been so many years… She didn’t know if she remembered the feeling. She remembered that she had been honest that day, but she honestly couldn't even place herself in the headspace of her 15 year old self. Of… 10-20, even. She had a rebirth at some point. That Grace was dead, as far as she knew and realized… but… she dared to presume, and hoped to guess… maybe that Simon was dead too. The things that they went through still happened, but only in an anecdotal retelling. The man on the phone… she HAD shared a portion of life with him, as well. A sit down, a death scare, recalling their past, birthdays, a sexually gratifying (less traumatizing) entanglement… He was correct. She hadn’t been able to let him go. There was no way to explain it, but if she was going to latch on anyway, they might as well make the most of it.

“Are you in New York?”

“Yeah.”

“Same place as before?”

“No, that was a rental, but same neighborhood.” She could tell he was smiling.

“IF my talk with Hazel when she comes home from school goes in your favor, we’ll stop by with a housewarming present.”

“I would like that.”

“IF Hazel feels safe with it.”

“You’re a lot more afraid of me than Hazel is,” Simon said.

“I’m older and wiser than her.”

“Ehhh… Definitely older.”

“WOW! What part of worship is you roasting me?”

“You told me that your definition is be super nice, get you stuff and go down on you whenever you want… so… I feel like I can make fun of you whenever appropriate.” She blushed. “But, you’re wise. Just… maybe not as wise as Hazel.”

“Speaking of… the trees and trying to set up quarters or whatever… that’s a bit much.”

“I don’t think it is. If we’re going to be establishing a new normal, she’ll have to have as much space in my home as she does in her own. When have you ever known me to half ass something important? You and Hazel are important.”

Grace held the phone tightly. It… mattered that he said that. Regardless of her reservations, of his probable episode, and the sheer amount of nonsense that her rep told her was happening. It mattered that he told her that she was important. That they were.

.

Hazel and Simon seemed to have been plotting on her. Hazel was a little too comfortable with the thought of them “being friends” with Simon, with the thought of group therapy, home visits and the like, and her saying, “I’ve lived life as a turtle. I don’t think Simon’s episodes are any more peculiar than that,” only made Grace feel guilty about her immediate thoughts - that Simon was having some type of meltdown. 

Now that she thought about it, those usually began with him feeling very bad, but that 16th birthday party… that particular whatever it was began with a similar mood - Simon hearing what he wanted to hear, doing too much for her, being very excited about things that had NOT been promised to him. “This is the 16th Birthday Party level meltdown!” Grace said, when it occurred to her. “Abort!” She said. 

Hazel looked around the shop and then at her, “Abort buying Simon a housewarming gift?”

“Yes! We… are gonna ghost him!” 

“No… We’re not gonna ghost him, because that will take a 16th Birthday Party level Simon and send him into a Pre Hospital level Simon.”

“I just…”

“Grace, do you think that I’m ever going to stop turning into a turtle?”

“Yes. You do it less and less as time goes on.”

“But, what if I don’t? Will you stress out and worry and treat me like there’s no hope?”

“Hazel, that isn’t the same thing.”

“Simon had some type of psychosis going on whenever you two were going through that. He’s spoken about visions of the Void, and you know for a fact that some of the delusions that he projected had no prompting from you. But, he’s been in therapy for a few years and on meds, and doing everything that he can to make amends and clear your name. I know that he’s the one who messed it up in the first place, but look…” She took Grace’s hand and traced a scar on it. “I look at this a lot.” 

“My old scar?” Grace asked, chuckling. 

“My old bite mark,” Hazel corrected her. “You never seem to think that I’ll bite you again. Simon was doing bad and you don’t have to forgive him or trust him, but if you never will, you should tell him that, not ghost him. And if you won’t forgive him or trust him, it would be better to return to the format of a clean, easy break. What do you think of this hedgehog planter?”

Grace smiled, “I don’t think that fits Simon.”

“I meant for me. He’s really cute. I can put some herbs or a little succulent in there…” 

.

Eventually, Hazel decided on a mini lamp shaped like a white cat. It didn't look like Samantha, but she liked it for her anyway. Grace bought an attachable bidet. Simon was at home, shirtless, in some pajama bottoms and slippers that looked like wolf feet whenever he heard the door. He threw on a tanktop and opened up. “Happy Housewarming!” Hazel cheered. She was holding a gift bag with tissue paper stuffed in it and she pushed it forward.

“Thank you, Hazel!” Simon said. He accepted it and Hazel walked in, immediately going to Samantha so that she could come see the gift too. Simon and Grace were staring at each other. He turned towards Hazel, “Wow… this is a really cool lamp. It’s gonna go well with things too, because everything in here will be white or earth tones. Like the rental, but like… MY style stuff. I’ll give you a tour.” There were boxes still unpacked in each room, all labeled as the room that they were. The only thing set up so far was his workspace, bed, and master bathroom. But, he told them some of his plans for other space and rooms… and he really HAD thought of everything that Grace would have tried to think of if making space for herself or Hazel… even if she WASN’T planning on them ever living here. Hazel was excited about the prospect of a “second home.” ‘WE should help you throw a proper housewarming!” Hazel cheered. 

“Who would I invite to that?” Simon wondered.

“Grace’s friends!”

“No!” Grace and Simon both said, then laughed. 

“My friends, then… and their parents,” Hazel said. Simon looked to Grace for confirmation. She shrugged her shoulders. “In the event that Grace does not have an opinion on the matter, the natural response should be to seek out my opinion.”

“Okay. Then, you do that, then.” He smiled and leaned against the counter as Hazel started speaking of her decorating plans and other party details.

“You are going to unleash a monster,” Grace said.

“You’re one to talk. She was spoiled whenever I met her. I’m just matching the kid’s energy. What’s that?” He nudged his head.

“Oh! It’s a bidet. Didn’t know if you had one or not…”

“I do not and I do need one, so thank you!” He accepted it and set it aside. 

“So… Can… we maybe move her tea set here? You’ve got A LOT more space than my place and it isn’t so far away that it’d be a huge jump to host her tea parties here, if that’s okay?” Grace looked at Simon and saw him processing this question. He looked like he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but also couldn’t shield his excitement.

“Hazel is perfectly welcome to move her tea party set here and her friends are welcome to throw them here, as well.”

“I’ll be here. It won’t be like… me leaving her with you.”

“That’s even more fun,” He said. “Do you need me to rent a moving truck to get it here?”

“No… I’ll handle that part.” So… there was still a level of distrust. But, this was still very big for him and he was going to count his blessings. “Come on, Hazel! We’ll be back around.” 

“Bye, Simon! Thank you for the amazing quarters!” He walked them outside and to the car. Grace was reluctant to hug him or anything like that, but she smiled and wished him good night. Simon watched her drive away and looked up at the stars. It didn’t matter if anybody was there or nobody was. Hazel and Grace had made a decision to give him a chance. He didn’t know yet what, but he wasn’t going to let either of them down.

Whenever Grace and I were younger I used to give her tribute. That was what it was called. It started really simple. She defended me against some bullies and after we took care of them, I snatched a couple of things, as souvenirs for her. Then I just continued to do that all the time. I began to do it on a daily basis. I convinced others to do it too. It was never an obligation. She didn't ask me to give her something. She didn't demand that others paid her tribute. I made a conscious decision that she was worth that offering. I spread word to others about it. It was an act of worship. I built her altar with my own hands. I molded her believers with my words. If you asked me back then she owed me everything. 

Fortunately now I know better. I'm older, I like to think I'm wiser. It was always I who owed her. I owed her for defending me. I owed her for befriending me. I owed her for lowering herself to my level, even if she just did it so she wouldn't be alone. I thought too much of myself. Convince myself that I deserved everything that she had been gracious enough to give me. I didn't appreciate the value of my riches in Grace. 

Life has a way of working things out that aren't meant to be. I was never meant to be the king. Always the servant… Trusted, certainly. But there for the sake of the one who mattered the most. I did everything in my power to be on top. When something isn't meant for you, you can't take it away from someone else. In the process of flying too high, I made myself have to fly solo. Grace had been the wind beneath my wings that made me fly as high as I was flying. Without her there I fell. I crashed. 

She was too busy trying to keep herself elevated. She didn't even really witness it - the way that life gave her back what she deserved while I plummeted. She moved on to things on her level. She had chosen me to come with her. I tried to replace her. Now she's soaring, and all I can do is watch from the ground. Proudly, certainly. But forever with the knowledge that I was once next to her, that I could have stayed there had I not tried to snip her wings…

Next

[shroudedhero]

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- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, and other dark topics (I absolutely LOVE angst), however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18. Everything though that might be triggering, will be tagged, and if there is something that you need me to tag, or if I forget to tag something, please feel free to tell me. Just try to do so right away or else I can forget which RPs or replies to tag depending how long it goes since I posted it. My memory is pretty fickle with what it chooses to remember without some nudging.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

- I do not do the reblog from the source thing (not consistently anyway). I used to try to do it every single time (if I notice it), though now, I am sorry but I have had so many anxiety attacks due to my attention span which I cannot help due to having ADHD, and accidentally reblogging memes and such from someone who has that rule without even realizing it as I am scrolling down the dash because I don’t even realize who reblogged the meme, and then panicking because I realize it later, or get yelled at over it. I follow at least like 30+ meme blogs and the majority of memes on my dash tend to be from the source, so sometimes I don’t notice! Roleplay for me needs to remain stress free, because stress can trigger a major/serious depression spell and as of recently I FINALLY am stable emotionally. So please forgive me if I don’t bother with it. Because I probably won’t do it (consistently anyway).

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them (Please see this post for some further clarification on this, since this is the part that I have the most issue with making clear, though I really do try):

- I am in fact OC supportive! Though when it comes to RPing with them, I can be extremely picky, and cautious. This has nothing to do with whether your OC is great or well developed or not. My brain annoyingly happens to have trouble connecting to a lot of characters, both OC and canon, but it just seems to be more common with other people’s OCs. HOWEVER, just because I might not RP with your OC, doesn’t mean I won’t secretly stalk them from the dash and read your interactions because I think they’re amazing.

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well. (This can also apply to canon characters as well, so it is not simply limited to OCs).

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.

The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why:

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a fandomless OC myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though!

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Canonically (or noncanon since this is an OC as well) unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of the bad version of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Important reminder: Please note that I suck at explaining this somewhat, and just because my brain struggles with roleplaying with certain characters does not mean I dislike your muse or think they suck! I can think your OC is absolutely AMAZING and they can be SUPER well written and developed and I can want to interact but my brain is just dumb and if I try to my brain just refuses. These SAME issues can happen with canon characters too, I have simply noticed it more with other OCs, thus the specific section for them.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this (and I never used to have a password), however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox me with “Catshark” (I prefer Inbox over IMs for the password so I can keep track forever of who sent it in). I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so. Also, I do understand that you probably follow a hundred blogs that all have their own rules, so if you forget stuff, that’s okay! I do it too. The password is just so I know it is safe for me to approach you and remind you of something if you do forget. Otherwise, I tend to sit here and kind of panic about if I can mention something to you (it has happened before that someone who didn’t send it in and came across friendly bit my head off when I asked them to tag something), and it means I am more likely to unfollow or stop interacting, or even block you eventually due to my anxiety. And I don’t want that to happen over a silly misunderstanding.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[withthekeyisking-writer]

What's your fav fic that you wrote yourself?

This is such a challenging question! Like asking which of my children is my favorite 😂 I could definitely tell you a few of my least favorite though lol, no prob. Some of my older stuff—oof.

Alright, so since I really can’t pick a singular fav (I currently have 101 posted works, that’s just not gonna happen) how about I give a top 10? Not exactly what you asked, but eh life is like that 😁

So, in no particular order, my top ten fav fics that I’ve written:

1. Starting with the one that’s a large presence in my mind, (No) Places of Safety. This fic is my baby right now, shaping up to be one of the biggest things I’ve ever written (already at 69k and not even close to done) which is super amazing, because I usually have a problem with sticking to things after a while. I really love the way I’ve handled Dick’s deteriorating mental state, and I love the fact that I know exactly where it’s going, and have from the very beginning (again, rare for me. Usually things come together as I’m writing, and while that’s still happening, it’s been awesome having an actual solid plan and destination). I love the universe I’ve set up here, and am so excited with every chapter to show you guys what comes next. Hell I love this universe so much that I already have the whole next fic planned out 😋

2. Next I’ll say Three Little Birds Sat On My Window. I loved writing a reverse batfam, and am so proud of the way this fic turned out. I really spent a lot of time trying to get everyone’s voices right, how different they would be considering how different their life experiences would be. Tim and Jason especially were important to get right, with Tim being the one who died instead. I always hated in reverse batfam fics when people just make Tim’s version of Red Hood exactly the same as what Jason was like, because they’re different people and would have different ways of approaching things. So even in just the little glimpses I wrote, I’m really proud of their characterizations, along with that of Damian and Dick! I’m just overall very proud of this fic, and definitely wan to write more of this AU at some point in the future.

3. Third we’ll go with An Active Imagination (and, with it, the sequel Rules of Architecture). Thinking about these fics and working on them ways makes me excited as a writer. Like I don’t really have a lot to say about these, just that I really love the way I handled Dick’s shifting mental state, going back and forth between the brainwashing and having him be not at all aware of what’s going on. I also love how super creepy Slade is lol, how unabashedly awful. Plus writing a BAMF Dick is always a blast, and the Dick in these two fics is especially badass.

4. Next up is Take My Hand Through the Flames, because writing dark!Dick was so fucking fun, and something I need to do again very soon. Dick is so messed up here, so blood-thirsty and masochistic and crazy, which is something that I’ve never been able to truly do when I mainly write Dick. So that plus building an Earth 3 universe (pulling in Joey and Rose and what Dick’s dynamic with Thomas is like) was a blast to do.

5. Hmmm then let’s go with If Night Falls in Your Heart (and am just now realizing how often I use song lyrics and quotes for my titles). Exploring the trauma of what Catalina and Mirage did to Dick was something necessary for me to write, and it helped me work through some of my own shit I was struggling with. (Writing is the best coping mechanism!) Dick desperately needs people to help him and tell him none of that was his fault, and since canon certainly isn’t going to do it, I took it upon myself lol. Plus I’ve become strangely fond Dave the Unimportant Villain 😂

6. Sixth on the list is How Arbitrary Fate Is, an AU I am extremely fond of and seriously need to come back to. Teen Titans (cartoon) ‘verse is always something I enjoy writing, and extending the apprentice arc, playing with Stockholm Syndrome, blending Dick’s loyalty to his friends with his growing loyalty to Slade, how he reaches acceptance that this is his life now—I am so proud of the way this fic turned out. I have an entire sequel planned out in my head, other things have simply taken precedent. I will come back to it, though. Lol I want to scream from the rooftops to get everyone to love this fic as much as I do 😁

7. Now I’ll say A Current of Fate, which is something I go back and forth on loving but it always draws my attention back to it. I hate that I’ve set it aside for so long, I think there’s so much fucking potential in this world I’ve set up, and I really want everyone to see the way it’s playing out in my head!! But for that I’d actually have to keep writing it lol, the horror. Sometime soon (when I have less active projects on my hands) I’ll go back to this fic and edit it a little, update it to how much more confident I’ve become in my writing, especially of DC characters. Also Chapter 4 has been half written for literally a year now and it has Black Mask in it; since beginning that chapter I’ve become far more familiar with Roman (and written a lot of him lol) so reworking that chapter in the main priority, and then I think I can really move forward with this fic. I know exactly what happens, I just have to get there!! (Coincidentally, today is the year anniversary of the last time I updated this.)

8. Leaving the DC fandom, next we’re going with The Source of Grief. My Harry Potter fics have been touch and go, I can admit that, but I’m very proud of this one. I really loved doing the outside POV, everyone observing the actions of Harry and not really knowing who he is or what his motives are. I also got to address all my feelings about Severus Snape, which was awesome. Just, fixing problems and making things better was wonderful to write, and I got to put in some subtle Wolfstar lol, and talk about how Regulus Black doesn’t get enough credit. Idk, I’m kind of rambling, but I’m proud of this fic.

9. Ninth is One of the Legion Lost (plus its sequel Want the Strange and New). They’re both my Fuck You to Infinity War lol (which I liked a lot more than I know most people do, but still it needed some help). Loki is one of my favs, and bringing him into the plot of the movie and adjusting things from there is the kind of thing I love to do—what are the repercussions if just one thing is different? Also I enjoyed exploring the magic of the infinity stones! There was so much that could be done with them, with their level of sentience that was never really expanded upon, so I liked doing that.

10. Now we have People Who Move the World. A James Bond & Sherlock crossover, where Q and Jim are brothers. I got super far in this fic! 15 chapters and 94k, it’s a real beast. I love how I wrote Q, his relationship with Jim and Bond and Sherlock, and the odd little Q/Mycroft ship that I’ve become strangely fond of considering how strange the ship is lol. Just writing a bunch of absolute geniuses BAMFs ruling the world and making things go the way they want to them. Like, Q and Jim make such an awesome team and I know it’s such a niche fic but I’m really proud of it. Sucks that a majority of the ideas dried up lol, because I’m very pleased with what I created.

+1: Honorable mention! Breathe with Confidence. First time I ever wrote anything in the Star Wars universe, and it’s absolutely something I’m gonna have to come back to. The AU has a lot of potential, and I know exactly how I’d address the future of Dick’s story. Plus some side fics of the family’s reactions to what happened, the confusion over Dick’s disappearance. And in this fic itself I liked writing Slade’s manipulations, Dick’s desires, the small amounts of background I included. Idk, I just think this world is super cool.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this long drawn out thing! Probably more info than you were looking for 😁😅

[liightningchosen]

RE:  SAVITAR. 

Obviously the Savitar arc in season 3 has several issues; on this blog, that arc and how Savitar is written are completely canon divergent and ignores most of what the CW tried to force down our throats. The concept was good but I’ve worked for three years now to develop it and make it better. This is under a read more because it’s obnoxiously long, but for those interested in Savitar and fixing the CW’s bullshit, here we are. This now also includes the JOINING THE ROGUES survival au!  UPDATED: 6/5/20.

I  WAS  MADE  TO  BE  A  MONSTER.

THE  CULT,  AND  HIS  NAME:   Savitar did not choose his own name, and the role of   “Savitar”   is a persona. He has no other name because he refuses to be Barry. Throughout the main arc of season 3, he adapts   “Sav”   as a placeholder, and is comfortable with that. In the Survival AU, he changes to Malcolm / Mal   (more details to follow).   The name Savitar itself originates from Hindu Myth, and the Cult of worshipers stems from a rogue sect of those practicing but following him specifically, and is labeled a cult by other standards.

I  AM  JUDGE,  JURY,  AND  EXECUTIONER.  I  AM  THE  WEAPON  THAT  HANDS  OUT  THE  SENTENCE.

GOALS  AND  MOTIVATIONS:   Savitar’s number one goal is survival. He is forced into the role in a way, because if he doesn’t complete the cycle, he will not be created, and the timeline is a bind around his wrists. Doing this, however, includes breaking Barry Allen, which is priority one. He has to be broken to a point where he will create the time remnants to stop Savitar and to create him. The only way to truly do this is take his rock away — Iris West. No matter who Barry is in love with, no matter what the timeline is, Iris is the most important person in his life, and represents the one thing that would break him more than anything else. While building up to this point, he follows the basics laid out by his memories of the previous cycle, and hurting Barry and those around him is the secondary goal; hurting those closest to him still hurts Barry in the process. Savitar knows how the cycle should play out — key word should — as he has the original Barry’s memories before he split off into time remnants. But he knows how easy it is for the timeline to shift and bend, so he sticks to basics; using Julian and the cult, creating Wally to free him, killing Iris, and breaking Barry.

I  NEVER  HAD  A  CHANCE  TO  BE  SOFT.  I  WAS  ALWAYS  BLOODY  KNUCKLES  AND  SHARDS  OF  GLASS.

ORIGIN  AND  REASONING:   Savitar was   “created”   when Barry split off multiple time remnants   (creating several versions of himself in the present day, which he learned from Zoom and used in the fight against Zoom)   to fight against the original Savitar of that cycle. Still calling himself Barry, he is the only remnant to survive, and he sustains a massive injury from the lightning from Savitar’s attacks, burning the right half of his face and damaging his right eye. While his eye healed to function almost completely, the scar remained. Because he wasn’t the original Barry, Team Flash didn’t treat him the same, making him believe he was a broken copy that shouldn’t even be alive. It wasn’t the Team Flash he held in his memories, and he’s so hurt and angry and wants revenge but he doesn’t know how to take it and — and they weren’t his memories anymore. He realized then that Savitar could only be one person. Himself. Savitar had talked about how this had happened a thousand times and would continue to happen over and over, and that they’d never see him coming. The broken version of Barry Allen realizes this, pretends to run off to the other side of the globe, but instead takes the Savitar suit, starting the cycle. Unfortunately, he doesn’t fully realize the consequences, and Barry is prepared, throwing Savitar into the Speedforce Prison that had been prepared for this occasion as soon as he sees him. Savitar sits there for thousands of years, and while it breaks him down, he builds himself back up. No longer is he Barry Allen — he steps into the role of Savitar, god of speed, and the Prison unintentionally imbues him with more power than he’d ever had as the Flash. There, he plots his revenge fully, from his own memories he can put together the nightmare that he wants to enact. While hurting Team Flash is a side goal, the main goal is hurting Barry, who created him and tossed him aside after everything — a Barry Allen who’d lost Iris was a monster, and he was only embracing his role.

I  DON’T  RISE  FROM  THE  ASHES;  I  MAKE  THEM.

CORRECTED TIMELINE:   Now, from the out of character standpoint, it really grinds my gears that the show waited until 3x20 / 3x21 to reveal that Savitar was Barry. It was cheap, meant to shock us, but then was given no room to actually develop as a plot in general. In my version of canon, 3x15-3x20 are condensed into a much quicker sequence of events, happening in days rather than months, allowing for the Savitar reveal to be in early March of 2017, rather than May. Then, the events of 3x21-3x23 progress over the course of two to three months, rather than two to three weeks. This allows for Savitar to have several unmasked moments with a majority of the team. He enjoys seeing them to torment them, as he is faster and more powerful, so they can’t stop him one on one. Though, those little moments are self indulgent as well, as he’s getting to see the people he called family once — that Barry called family once. He has to keep reminding himself of this. Overall what this means from a plotting standpoint is Savitar is running around without the need for hiding in his suit for much longer than 3 episodes, and he causes plenty of turmoil while he’s at it. This also means that Barry doesn’t need to go to 2026 for information on who Savitar is, but instead for information on how to stop him.

BUT  WHO  PRAYS  FOR  SATAN?  WHO,  IN  EIGHTEEN  CENTURIES,  HAS  HAD  THE  COMMON  HUMANITY  TO  PRAY  FOR  THE  ONE  SINNER  WHO  NEEDED  IT  MOST?

SAVITAR’S  POSSIBLE  “REDEMPTION”  AND  HIS  HEART:   I also refuse to believe that Savitar is too far beyond redemption. There is no physical way that he has Barry Allen’s golden heart — starting off the bright shiny optimist who wants to save the world no matter how much it kills him — would turn into a heartless monster. No matter how much he went through, hate and love are too close. If Savitar were to truly be too far gone, he would be indifferent to Iris, and he wouldn’t hate her or Barry. Hate is too close. No matter how small, there is a sliver of Barry left, and I also think this is seen with Jesse Wells, who Barry sees as a little sister. His line of   “I have big plans for you, Jesse Quick.”   is such bullshit, because he doesn’t have plans for her — he’s using it as an excuse not to kill her right there, because he doesn’t want to. I also think there is hesitation to hurt Joe and Wally, as that is his foster and found family as well. But he won’t let them get in his way, that’s the only time he attacks them. I really think that given a proper arc, the   “redemption”   that they played on in 3x23 could have been more full fledged, but as it was rushed, Savitar still chose to go after Iris. He would still do this unless someone truly offered him a way out — in his mind, this is also the way to create his survival, in order to reset the cycle once more. His redemption does not come in the form of being a “hero” and he certainly wants to be nothing like Barry, and instead comes with him choosing autonomy instead of referring to himself as the throwaway. This means though, that he will never border into a   “good”   alignment and instead will neutral, focused on his own survival.

I  RULE  THE  STARS,  NOT  THE  OTHER  WAY  AROUND.  I  LIVE,  I  LIVE,  I  LIVE.

ALTERNATE  ENDING  /  SAVITAR  CHOOSING  TO  BREAK  THE  TIMELINE:   In any arc where Savitar chooses not to kill Iris, it is a choice he makes himself because he wants to embrace the good in him, not because the Team stopped him; his heart may be gold but it is far from clean. He is already choosing to go by the name Sav at this time, because it’s distancing from Savitar, which he doesn’t enjoy as a name. In this arc as well, Sav joins the Rogues, and gets a great deal of help from Leonard Snart   (@cvldthief​​)   as he develops his autonomy and creates a life as a separate person from Barry. Over this time, he becomes less brutal, and while he still does kill, it’s only when he finds necessary to defend himself or the Rogues. He doesn’t wear a mask, because no one would be able to tell who he is   (the scars have marred him from video recognition, and only those who knew Barry would recognize even a little similarity).   Additionally, he begins to remember that Nora and Henry mentioned if Barry were to have had a twin or brother, they would have named him Malcolm. He adopts this name for his own, opting for Mal more often than not. Mal, meaning bad or evil, represents a reclamation of the past atrocities, but his own personhood and healing along with it.

TRUE EVIL, ABOVE ALL ELSE, IS SEDUCTIVE.

EARTH  302  DIFFERENCES:   Earth 302 is a verse i developed with @resurrecticn​​​​ and we’ve been building for three years, and there are significant differences that I just want to outline. In this verse, Savitar cannot be redeemed. Before he truly became Savitar, he went back in time to see Iris himself, meet her and make a memory for himself, truly have a memory that isn’t Barry’s. But she treats him so disgustingly, unintentionally. She cares about Barry, but at the time she still believes she is meant to die. After all of the hate and being cast aside, Savitar shuts off his humanity in a way. After millennia in the Speedforce Prison   (longer than normal Savitar, as he struggled to free himself),   he manipulates Iris against Barry, using her to satisfy his own anger as well as hurt Barry even more. He gives her speed — more than Barry but less than himself, to put her in a position of power against Barry but not himself. He could kill her, but it’s so much more satisfying to use her. He is toxic and evil and cannot be saved.

[kewltie]

YEAR END FIC REVIEW 2019

This year I wrote:

The Dumpster Fire - a bunch of random ‘verses 

to catch the golden snitch 

we're young gods 

all these delicate things 

no peace, no quiet in your eyes 

rip out those wings, darling 

the little prince 

interlude: world's okayest dad 

—to the moon and back 

as the moon bears witness (i swear to you) 

ao3 tells me that’s 95k wc if we discount random teasers/snippets i only wrote on tumblr & twitter than we’re well over 100k. 

Overall thoughts

I honestly thought I wrote less this year giving how many actual new stories I have up on ao3, but over 100k is still a pretty admirable job so far so I can’t be all that disappointed in myself. I don’t have an actual estimate wc on everything bc I post random snippets/teasers on twitter and than move the more edit and polish version on tumblr AND THAN i move it to my dumpstire fire collection if it fit. so like, i don’t know exactly how much wc i did but still moderately impressive given how profoundly lazy i can be lol /o\. 

there were a lot of things i wanted to do but i didn’t get around to it bc i held myself back from committing to various big projects due to my promise/obligation to updating social media au :S. which i guess is good bc i didn’t add on to MORE WIPs but also depressing bc im stuck in a rut bc of it. i hope to explore more projects next year!

My best story of the year

“we’re young gods” prob my psuedo mad max post-apocalyptic wasteland abo au... GOD WHAT A MOUTHFUL. outside!pov has always been one of my fav narrative piece to write esp when im building a evolving world that come with it. i love a post-apocalyptic landscape, the fight and survive theme has always been a deep fascination for me plus w/ abo which makes it even more interesting. i talk a lot about the idea of kingmaker and the person behind the seat of power/throne a lot and i wanted that deeply in a lot of my ‘verses bc stories of movers and shakers of the world are always fun bc their actions have such HUGE RAMIFICATION and i always like politics and wars a little too much lol /o\. 

My favorite story of the year

“to catch the golden snitch” bc i really like my veela!katsuki fic the most. prob bc it plays into adapting some familiar concept/theme/source (HPverse) and putting my fav spin on them with bkdk. i have always been fond of creaturefics in hp fandom so i knew i wanted to make another VEELAFIC bc why the fuck not. it also play into my fav trope of katsuki being something inhuman, dangerous, and beautiful and also SO COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR THS HUMAN BOY ;D. 

Most fun story to write

“to the moon and back” aka DRUNK!IZUKU FIC!!!! bc HELLO DRUNK IZUKU IS THE ABSOLUTELY BEST.

Story with the single sexiest moment

“all these delicate things’ or aka the panties fic bc unf i really like see man indulge in feminine things esp when they’re someone who had such a history of violence like izuku who had suffer so much hurt in his life; AND ON HIS BODY which are riddled with scars and i think should allow yourself to be kind/softer to yourself and things like panties are so DELICATE that idk i really dig that juxtaposition??? A LOT. 

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story

“rip out those wings darling” aka mutual yandere fic i was originally given a prompt by someone but my giftee dropped out so I RAN WILD AND CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. idk i always like fucked up relationship esp when it’s mutually assured destruction kind of fucked up where they both equally crazy about each other and im all for that. fandom has a habit of making izuku being super creepy stalker but they make him violent rapist and that doesn’t sit well with me. you can make izuku creepy and stalkerish w/o playing into that kind of things :S. i hate how darkfics these days are like fall under that purview when you can have darkfic w/o necessitating sexual violence... like pls explore mindgames and emotional/mental manipulation more like man i think that’s much more interesting so i tried that with this fic. izuku doesn’t hurt others or hurt katsuki BUT HURT HIMSELF to manipulate katsuki to care for him and im like SO ABOUT THAT bc it play into his self sacrificing nature w/o me bending his characterization to make him into something recognizable and katsuki violent obsession and possession with izuku is ramped up but it isn’t sexualized but about ownership and wanting to izuku enough to to kill and idk i dig their mutual destructive habits about each other lol. 

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters

i swear to god i don’t like the villain!deku trope. im more indiff to it than anything but the trope tend to twist him into something unrecognizable to me but when i was coming up about this ‘verse i wanted izuku to be a bit jaded and betrayed by the world/society but still SO EARNEST AND HOPEFUL about it even though his goals has twisted in a way that by saving it he has to break it first. somehow trying to true to himself as he slip further and further in darkness and i just find that kind of duality fascinating????? like how do i keep in character but make him fall and see his struggles b/t both sides and i find myself liking villain!deku just a tiny, A TINY more and open so much potential. 

Hardest story to write

“as the moon bears witness” bc i did a rushed job on it and I HATE IT W/ THE FIRE OF TEN THOUSANDS SUNS. there’s so much i wanted to include but i fucked up and i hate how much I FUCKED UP ON IT. this is def the fic i regretted the most bc i knew what i wanted but i couldn’t exactly execute it correctly but instead of trying to think of a way to fix it i just let it go and i hate it and myself ever since than. UGH. 

Biggest disappointment

"AS THE MOON BEARS WITNESS” for the exact same reason as above. i want to rewrite this so SO BAD and i will. 

Biggest surprise

i didn’t have any surprise fics tbh. everything that i wrote is pretty much under my purview LOL but i found myself being more active on twitter the last half of the year and writing more threads (i.e. live writing) than moving it on tumblr. a lot of pieces i written on twitter was sudden for me and took me hostage but ya know what i go with the flow anyway bc what can i say im just a weak, weak girl w/ zero self control. 

Most unintentionally telling story

maybe “no peac, no quiet in your eyes”? I think that idea slapped me across the face bc i spent a week getting really obsessed with asoiaf fics on ao3 and man I LOVE POLITICS AND WARS?? did i mention that??? i love dynastic rules, warring kingdoms, and a love earth shattering enough to move mountains and i wanted to see that so much so that ‘verse kind of happened. 

Story I haven't written yet, but intend to

omfg SO MANY JUST SOOO SOOO MANY. i would really to get around to writing a full fledged fic of either surrogate au or sperm donor au bc i love that kind of unconventional family and romcom are like YA KNOW MY WEAKNESS. 

Goals for this year:

like every year i keep saying i want to do tododekubaku fic and maybe 2020 WILL BE MY YEAR??

finish social media ch 2 before/around my bday of this month as a gift to myself a;sjdf;alsjdf lol 

take on more projects that won’t land in the dumpstire fire collections

explore new fic avenues bc i always like trying new things and breaking in new genre/tropes bc why the fuck not

write all THE CLICHES and don’t let anyone tell me otherwise about my omega!deku loving ways

[vxrixble]

          So, for the next couple weeks I’m going to re-prioritize threads? Nothing here has been stressful, but life has been a real bitch and I’m looking for anyway to gain some sense of stability and right now, working on organization here seems to be it. Below you can see some things I’m trying to fix up.

          Anything that's a paragraph or less will most likely get dropped if the situation isn’t plotted/ I can’t think up a decent reply within a day or so of attempting to work on it.  One of the exceptions for this is if we’ve just started writing/ have nothing else going. You’re safe.

          Threads that are paragraph +/ plotted will stand a larger chance of continuing. It might take me a minute to work on them, but they’re always easier to move along. Again, plotting is preferred. If I know a direction we want to go I can help steer.

        I will have to start limiting how many threads I have with people and who gets who, which kind of sucks. I’ll writing up more detail on that in a bit and will add it to the rules, but I have several muses that get either no attention or very little. I want to keep that balanced. Again, there will be exceptions to this. If you’re new or we have nothing going, you have nothing to worry about.

        I get asked a lot  who I want to use for replies and I’m always torn because I’m pretty positive the majority of my followers are here for my BoB boys, but I did originally make this blog for my OC’s and to gain inspiration for personal projects. So my first thought is either Vera or Jethro. Those two are the easiest muses to write, but if you’re here for the BoB boys, please let me know.

          I would also like to stress that I LOVE talking to my writing partners. If I don’t feel like I can talk to you it makes writing way more difficult because I second guess EVERYTHING. It doesn’t have to be personal stuff. But our muses, plot ideas, pets, movies, video games, all of it. I’m stuck in my house and I have nothing to do but talk.

         I’ll be updating verses, rules, and a couple of other things over the next couple days so if pages are unavailable and you have questions do not hesitate to ask me.

        This was waaayyy longer than intended and I’m sure I might lose a few people because of it. I But to those who read this and stay, thank you!

[stardust--and--flames]

// Got the new theme all done up and updated the rules, tags, ships, muses, verses, and minor verses pages to reflect the new theme aesthetic. Also changed up the werewolf page background and colors and fixed the broken image links on the Passengers colony verse reference page. Also updated the rules a little, and included an expanded list of banned faceclaims. (I tried at first to add color by italicizing some words in the paragraphs, but you’ll quickly notice that I kinda gave that up after the first section. XD But I do plan on going back in and doing more. Just not sure when.) Of course, there’s still work to be done on the muse and verse pages as far as the info goes, but that’s nothing new. Though I did update a few various odds and ends a little, and after much personal debate, decided to remove Leon from the active muse list. Ultimately, it came down to my discomfort with having to change him from his original creation to truly make him my own, and it just felt more wrong to do that than to let him remain a fond memory of what was and what might have been. Regardless, this change in theme and aesthetic seems to be what we needed and now the whole troop is in a better mood and looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. So after a little more tweaking to get the smaller things that were overlooked on the various pages (like the credit links. oops. XD) in line with the new look, I’m hoping to have some more activity on here soon. Hooray!! //

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long. 

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film. 

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that. 

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer. 

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere. 

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird. 

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt. 

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now. 

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time. 

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game. 

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away. 

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that. 

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is. 

Darth Maul is awesome. 

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip. 

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves. 

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff. 

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her? 

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users. 

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it. 

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates. 

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon. 

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying. 

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that? 

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar.  #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist. 

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate. 

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff. 

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other. 

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise? 

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad. 

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier. 

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point. 

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt. 

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him. 

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff. 

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist. 

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code. 

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine? 

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl. 

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting. 

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?” 

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus. 

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET. 

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy. 

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though. 

My vote went to Bail Antilles. 

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely. 

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool. 

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination. 

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright. 

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film? 

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice. 

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol. 

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing. 

I also love the giant bubble shields. 

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass. 

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit. 

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit. 

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP. 

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it? 

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely. 

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage. 

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point. 

Yoda’s already soooo old. 

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut. 

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit. 

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator. 

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want.  Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all. 

[secondbetrayer]

Lyra’s Rules.

About the mun:

So first off, a lil mun introduction! I’m Avery! I’m a 23 year old butch enby lesbian. Pronouns aren’t particularly a concern to me generally but I use they/them for myself and will ask that you use do the same. I will also ask that when talking about me, you use ‘person’ instead of ‘girl/woman’ or ‘boy/man’.

I live in England, which makes my timezone GMT!

I have a condition called Turner Syndrome. This is an i.ntersex chromosome condition that affects me in a number of ways. I have slight learning disabilities due to it, which makes me a lil awkward bean that struggles a bit with ooc communication. That said, please always feel free to IM me or hmu on discord to chat! Message me for the name and please make sure I know who you are first <3

Activity:

I have a job where I work five days a week and this influences my ability to be here. And on my days off, I’ll often be making the most of it for myself and doing things out and about. With that in mind, please bear with me when it comes to getting to things.

I try to get to drafts as quickly as possible because I do enjoy writing for you guys but I also do my best to remember that this is a hobby and I would ask you do the same with me. Which means please don’t pester me for replies. If it’s been a while, feel free to gently nudge me to see if I saw that you responded but please have some patience as well. Chances are, it’s in the drafts and my reply will be posted soon enough. <3

I have an aim for myself of posting at least two ic responses a day. Sometimes I moght exceed this significantly, other days I might not. Again, bear with me on this. I’m slow but I do genuinely love writing with you guys <3

Etiquette:

General roleplay etiquette applies. No god-modding, forceshipping, etc.

I am friendly to OCs, multi-muses, multiverses, etc.

I generally only reblog memes from someone if I’m going to send them something from it first. You don’t have to do the same, I don’t practice reblog karma, but please please consider sending something in first and remember I’m not a meme resource fheibewr. That said, I’m not going to yell at you just for reblogging a meme from me and I will even try and send you something from a meme that you do reblog from me.

Any homophobia, transphobia, racism and other general nastiness like that will get you unfollowed and blocked.

I am open to writing with non-mutuals in terms of ask memes, so feel free to approach me there if you want to write, but mutuals do generally take priority always here.

Don’t reblog my ic content unless you’re involved in it. Also please do not reblog my headcanons and such without asking permission to first. You will be blocked as soon as you do it.

Content

There will be no smut on this blog. Lyra’s usually only twelve in interactions, so please don’t be disgusting.

I’m not that great at starters but I love memes and I’m always looking to send them in to  you guys. Also, never be afraid to approach me to discuss plots, etc. I want to write with all of you as much as possible!

Incest, paedophillia, etc. will not occur here and I don’t want to see that on the dash either. It doesn’t matter if I like you the mun or your character otherwise or if we’ve had threads before either: you’re going to be blocked for it. I’m being harsher about the themes I’m comfortable with on the dash because too often I’ve seen uncomfortable stuff from people I otherwise liked, and it’s made me feel in two minds about my reaction to them even though it shouldn’t be that way. I know people like to spread the whole ‘don’t judge people for fiction’ message but my dash is my dash and I shouldn’t have to put up with stuff on it that I don’t wanna see.

My portrayal of Lyra

I want to put it out there that I am mostly book-based. I have watched the film and the tv series, and particularly enjoyed the show, to the point it was what got me to read the books in the first place, but both of those things are merely adaptations of the story. I want my Lyra to be my own adaptation of her, so generally my source material will be the book itself.

That said, I am not opposed to show-based threads and I don’t think there’s anything that the show has done with Lyra that I will point blank refuse to acknowledge for my take on her. If that changes at any point, then I will let you guys know!

I have not yet read any of the other books in the universe besides the main trilogy. I do plan to change this however and will update you guys as and when I read the others. And if there’s anything that I want to diverge from in my own canon, I’ll mention that as and when too!

My main faceclaim for Lyra is D.akota F.anning, with E.mily B.lunt being her faceclaim as a 30+ year old. D.afne K.een who plays Lyra in the show is my alternate face claim, but that’s mostly for gifsets. I do have icons of her available to me, but it probably won’t be very often that I use them unless I feel she fits more.

Shipping...honestly probably will not happen besides with a Will, and if not with a Will, then probably not before Lyra is an adult. She essentially messed up her relationship with herself in The Amber Spyglass, which means a romantic relationship...probably isn’t ideal for her until she fixes that. In my canon for older Lyra, she does start to fix this but she’s almost 25 when the repairing begins, so she probably isn’t really going to be after a romance again before that point.

I do plan to make alternate verses for Lyra in other fandoms and such, to make interactions that little bit easier for muns of non-H.DM characters! That said, if I have a verse for the fandom your character is from but you would still prefer to interact within the H.DM universe, feel free to let me know <3 

That’s the rules about covered! There’s no password but feel free to like this post as an acknowledgement of seeing it, and if you have any questions, feel free to IM me and I’m happy to answer them <3