#also unedited so sorry

[cnl0400]

Character references for the undateables

I love all the little details!!

Sharing these because knowledge should be #free and #available to #everyone

[cuntholicism]

tysm op for the inspo

clips taken from dnpg's newest video

[cupids-fiction]

she henry on my winter till i bacchanal

[starwovenkiss]

(minor smut / suggestive content)

Frat boys, Soap and Gaz, who take an interest in the pretty TA for their econ 101 class.

The one that shows up with sweaters and jeans and glasses while marking through their tests with red pens and frustrated sighs.

Showing up to you after one class one day with mischevious grins in their matching fraternity t-shirts.

“Bonnie, y’gotta convince the professor to bump me up to an A,” Johnny pauses at this. “Or at least a C.”

You roll your eyes. “Johnny, you spelled your own name wrong on your last test.” He at least has the decency to look ashamed at this.

“What Soap is tryna say,” Kyle cuts in, smooth as ever. He really shouldn’t be here, making A's on every exam this semester, except that he’s been caught cheating and has been placed on academic probation. “is that we really think we could benefit from some tutoring. We do so much better with 1-on-1 attention.”

Both he and Johnny tilt their faces into something pouting and begging, and you want to laugh. Throw the scantrons you're grading at their muscled chests and storm out of here for wasting your time.

“Yeah, 1-on-1 would be great,” Johnny echoes, and you nearly scream.

Dealing with late nights in the library where they're more interested in getting you to go out with them then learning the diffrence between macro and microeconomics.

"So the difference between absolute advantage and -" You tense as Kyle tugs lightly on your ponytail.

"Darling, why don't you ever come to one of our parties?"

“We’re having one this Friday.” Johnny suggests, and you wonder if a part of their stupid initiation is to learn how to complete each other’s sentences like some sort of greek Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. "It’s not really my vibe,” you say, hoping that will be enough to get back to learning what GDP stands for (and not ‘great dick’n’pussy’ like Johnny suggested.)

“Aw, that’s because you’ve never been, bonnie.” Johnny fights back, and Kyle nods eagerly. “Tau Mu is everyone’s vibe.”

And to your horror, they break out into song, singing about the fraternity’s history and legacy. Your eye twitches, and you grip onto your pencil tighter to keep from sticking it in their throats.

”How about this,” you say loudly enough to cut over their caterwauling, and they smile. “if you both get an A on this next test, I will go to your party.”

They both have cheshire grins.

“Deal.” Kyle winks.

Them coming up to you on Thursday looking proud as ever when they have Canvas pulled up on their phones to show off their matching 100s.

“You guys must have cheated,” you say, dumbfounded.

“We would never.” Kyle proclaims, affronted and mocking. “’Sides, even if we did, you have no way to prove it.”

“This whole conversation incriminates you.” you say.

“Incriminates? We’re not under trial here.” Kyle laughs.

"No cheating.” Johnny promises. “It must’ve been thanks to your impressive tutelage.”

“Johnny, spell tutelage.” You deadpan.

There’s a pause. “… That doesn’t matter. We’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiles brightly.

“Make sure to wear red.” Kyle adds on before they both walk out of the classroom.

You showing up to their party, looking like you don’t want to be there and definitely not in red, only to find out it’s a stoplight party, and red screams that you’re taken.

Both of them in their element, shirtless and streaked in red black light paint, as they jump around and body surf in neon sunglasses before seeing you disappointed.

“Bonnie, why aren’t you wearing red?” Johnny asks.

"Johnny, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“So, what do you call all of those late nights in the library?” Kyle asks, putting an arm around you as he leads you to get jungle juice.

“Tutoring. To help get both your GPAs above a 2.5,” You reply.

“Sounds like foreplay to me.” Johnny smiles down at you while wrapping an arm around your waist, and suddenly you feel flustered by the two attractive men who seem enamored with you.

You pick up a solo cup as a distraction and notice that it has “You’re Hell” written on it. “Who wrote this? There’s a typo.”

They both groan, “We were trying to be clever.” Johnny replies.

“You need to relax, darling. Can’t be good for you to be so uptight all the time.” Kyle responds moving to rub your shoulders.

“Yeah, Gaz.” Johnny smiles at him, and suddenly you feel like you’ve walked into some trap. “Relaxing would be good for the lass.”

Finding yourself upstairs in a private bedroom, naked, sprawled out in Kyle’s lap as he holds your legs open for Johnny to examine you.

“Think it’s time we teach her a thing or two, right, Soap?” Kyle whispers, voice low like honey in your ear and you shiver.

“See how well we can make the teacher’s pet behave.” Johnny responds as he grins like the devil, breath tickling your fluttering cunt.

“Bet she’s never had this pretty pussy licked before.” Kyle snickers, and you finally feel the need to speak up.

“Yes, I have. I’m not a prude.” You whine, and you feel like the pastel pink underwear with a tiny bow that Johnny has stuffed in his pocket isn’t doing you any favors.

“Aye, well. Not like this.” Johnny replies before licking into you like a man starved.

[fluentisonus]

rambling here (& a little drunk) but it's so interesting coming to les mis from a preexisting maritime/age of sail interest background because like the whole historical situation (well. wrt toulon at least) it's discussing is like. it's very much a side of things you don't think about so much I guess when you're focused on life on board the ships themselves & particularly ships at sea. which -- like tbc my knowledge of this stuff is mostly to do with the royal navy during the same period, which can be very different re: how it functioned, so I don't necessarily know much about the french navy or how obvious this stuff would be if I was reading books about the french navy -- but just the whole existence of the bagne & the prisoners being the ones to help with the ships while they're in port (amongst other things) really makes one think about like idk. how casually you might get someone on the ship referring to 'putting in for repairs' or something in a way you wouldn't think twice about what that might imply. meanwhile then you read this & read the historical background & there's a whole different angle that's absolutely full of horrors. idk idk like I keep thinking about how in post captain (aubrey-maturin series, so written well after les mis & probably deliberately conscious of it while doing this) when they go into the harbor in toulon to meet with christy-palliere during the peace of amiens & there's like half a sentence mention of the convicts on the far side of the harbor unloading stuff from the ships before they go on with their lives (& this is 1802, jvj would literally be over there right then), and it's just background description. and how like every battle you read about, in fiction or non fiction, every time they talk about french ships taking damage or needing supplies etc etc it that it's often toulon (or similar) they'd be limping back to. it's just such a crazy shift in perspective & new consideration of some of the actual sources of this historical labor & how damaging it was beyond what's on the actual ships

[horsemeatluvr23]

the juppet !! i just realised he is jerma posing i swear that was unintentional...... i spent so long digging thru muppet concept art and looking at old puppet designs just to end up doing a rly simple drawing but. i love joehills!! i have only been watching them for like 4 years but their videos r so special to me :3

[madbard]

Putting this in your askbox cuz I know you're also an Epic the Musical fan but yknow I think if Loop saw that musical they'd get very emotional about Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, just in the context of thinking of their old party... :'>

Oh, a thousand times, yes.

I’ve been thinking about Epic and ISAT a lot recently, and honestly I think the entire musical would be such an intense experience for the entire party, but especially Siffrin and Loop. After all, Epic is, at its core, the story of someone who loses himself while desperately trying to return home.

(I know you were talking about ‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ specifically, but this is about to get really out of hand. Also, I’m going to frame Epic as a musical that Loop, Siffrin and the post-canon party (likely sans Bonnie considering some of the subject material) are watching.)

Starting off with the Troy Saga, we have some striking similarities between Odysseus and Loop and Sif already - we know he’s been away from his home island for years, and so badly wants to see his family again. The homesickness here would resonate with them, I think, but the situation is also very different since Odysseus has such strong memories of his home and his family, and his home still very much exists. So that creates a little bit of distance as they are watching. ‘Open Arms’ would probably hit pretty hard though - I could see Polites’ encouragements reminding them of the party trying to help them after the loops. (Note for ‘Warrior of the Mind’ - I think this song would start some of the party off on the wrong foot with Athena. I think Mirabelle and Isabeau at least would be put off by the line “I see you changing from how I’ve designed you” as a bad thing. Here we have this character trying to change for the better, and another character is telling him that that’s a bad thing and he should stay the same? Yeah, they might not be the biggest Athena fans at this point.)

But then… oh, the Cyclops Saga is going to be uh… interesting. I wonder when any members of the party might have encountered a giant… led a fight against said giant… tried to barter with the giant to find a nonviolent solution for everyone… thought for a moment that they had succeeded… realized they had failed in a terrifying moment when they were told they would be the final one to die… witnessed helplessly as that giant brutally crushed one of the people they love most in the world as that person called out their name in agony… (The first time I listened to Epic after finishing Act 3 I had to pause it for a minute because I kept visualizing Bonnie during ‘Survive’ and it was doing psychic damage.) As much as I like to imagine the party watching Epic, I can’t imagine Siffrin watching that scene without having a panic attack. After that I doubt they are finishing the musical. (Now, we do have a fair bit to go and fascinating songs to think about so for the sake of this post maybe they were somehow all distracted during that scene? I don’t know, for whatever reason they keep watching.) If the party didn’t like Athena before, they definitely don’t like her after she abandons Odysseus - though I could see Odile giving her a little more grace in that regard, as she might see a bit of herself in Athena’s intelligence, the age difference between her and Odysseus and her clear difficulties with friendship and emotions.

The Ocean Saga is called than the Cyclops Saga. I could see Siffrin and Loop exchanging some looks at the “you rely on wit and people die on it” line but while there are some parallels between that song and their own discussion post Act 3, the similarities are ultimately far outweighed by the differences. Then we have the ultimate paranoia/insomnia/exhaustion/homesickness anthem in ‘Keep Your Friends Close,’ which I could see Siffrin and Loop getting pretty invested in.

As much as I love the Circe Saga, I’m not sure the party is getting much from it aside from enjoying the story and music.

Then we have the Underworld Saga and STARS. Loop is NOT going to be handling this well. ‘The Underworld’ is an absolute nightmare - gotta love being haunted by the screams of your friends that you couldn’t protect, tee-hee! Odysseus’ mom dying while waiting for him to come home is also an intense scene considering how little Loop and Siffrin know about what might’ve happened to their own parents when the island disappeared, but that scene is also just generally heartbreaking. ‘No Longer You’ is where things become viscerally painful for Loop - after all, there is a reason there are at least two full length Loop-centric animatics of that song. I want to ramble about this one but… “we’ve suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells, now you tell us our effort’s for nothing” and “I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer you” speak for themselves. The universe doesn’t care how much you suffered - someone is going to get that happy ending that you fought and died and bled for, but it’s not you. Not anymore. Then we reach ‘Monster’ and Odysseus has reached a state of self-loathing and dehumanization that Siffrin and Loop are far too familiar with. The death of diplomacy in exchange for brutality matches with post-Act 3 Siffrin, but it also aligns with Loop, and their willingness to do whatever it takes to help Siffrin escape the loops, even if that means sacrificing the party. And of course the perceived loss of humanity is very applicable to Loop, always.

On to the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus’ rage in ‘Different Beast’ is his own personal Memory of Sadnesses moment. This saga is just… tough to listen to for the entire party I think. The way Odysseus and Eurylochus’ friendship falls apart - that still hurts so much every time I listen and I’m sure it would be painful for them as well. (I could probably elaborate more but this post is already far longer than I had expected and I’m starting to run out of steam so I’ll leave it here.)

The party has made it to the Wisdom Saga! Odd opinion incoming, but I think ‘Legendary’ would resonate with Isabeau a lot - a song about this young, less-than-intimidating guy who desperately wants to be bigger, braver, stronger, the kind of person that can protect the people he cares about. Also, I could see Telemachus activating some protective instincts in the party, considering how some of his eagerness and fighting attitude are mirrored in Bonnie as well. ‘Little Wolf’ and ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would cause a massive shift in Mirabelle and Isabeau’s opinion of Athena - the character who opposed change at the beginning has changed for the better! Athena’s regret in ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would also hit really close to home for Odile, I think - “maybe if I’d made a different call, maybe if I hadn’t missed it all, maybe he’d be fine” aligns so painfully well with her own guilt and regret for not being able to figure out the loops and help Siffrin sooner. I think ‘Love In Paradise’ would be a surprisingly tough listen for Loop and Siffrin. The context is so different, but this song contains lyrics like “under my spell we’re stuck in paradise, no one can come or go - not til the end of time, there is no way, you’re mine, all mine.” Calypso is so scared of being alone that she traps Odysseus on the island with her for years - meanwhile, Odysseus is slowly broken down by his grief and his desperation to go home. For Loop and Siffrin, there’s an uncomfortable understanding of both characters, I think. (The entire party loves Athena after ‘God Games,’ I don’t make the rules.)

Next up, Vengeance Saga. This is where things start to get intense. As one might guess from the fact that I made a Loop-centric lyric comic for ‘Not Sorry For Loving You,’ I think they would relate to this song on a visceral level. “Someone came by today, they said they’re taking you away, that you’re not mine to save, and sooner I won’t get to see your face” - this so perfectly fits with Loop’s realizing Siffrin won their happy ending and is going to be leaving Dormont with THEIR family. Not theirs to save. Not anymore. “I spent my whole life here, was cast away when I was young, alone for a hundred years, I had no friends but the sky and sun” - this is literally an exaggerated description of their own life, washing up on the shore of Vaugarde as a teenager, completely alone with no memory of ever having been known or loved. “So when you washed ashore, I thought for sure that you were my dream come true - I thought I knew” - Loop/Siffrin being so desperately lonely when they met the party and bonding with them so deeply and desperately, starved for love and connection to the point where they clung TOO hard, loved TOO defensively. And then we reach the final lines of the song and I honestly think the comic explains better than I could exactly how perfect those lyrics are for Loop. At the end of this song, Calypso is left sobbing on a beach, watching as Odysseus sails into a future without her in it, with people that love him, so desperately lonely and full of the knowledge that nobody will ever, ever love her again. Yeah… I think this song might mess with Loop a bit. And then, of course, we have ‘Six Hundred Strike.’ This is another song that I imagine Siffrin for - specifically Act 5 Siffrin fighting the King. “How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror - watching as they were all slain!” Honestly, this song is a big Act 5 moment for Odysseus - except that he actually defeats Poseidon. I can’t imagine that this song wouldn’t cause at least a shudder in Siffrin and Loop.

And now, finally, the Ithaca Saga. (Which is what you were actually talking about. This got extremely out of hand.) I’ve mentioned the party would feel protective of Telemachus. They are not handling ‘Hold Them Down’ well. ‘Odysseus’ is interesting to think about actually, because for whatever reason this has become such an Act 5 Isabeau loops AU song to me. I imagine that an Isabeau loops AU would involve him undergoing a change that mirrors Odysseus a lot, becoming steadily colder rather than becoming manic like Siffrin does. I think he’d cope with the loops by essentially shutting down his emotions, using his intellect to be a truly terrifying force in combat. Under it all though I think there’d still be a core protective rage - “my mercy has long since drowned” vibes. He’s going to protect his family, even if it means becoming a monster. Alright, AU talk aside, the fact that the suitors literally refer to Telemachus as “the kid” in this song (as they’re planning to maim him to control Odysseus) is going to mess with Loop and Siffrin at least a little bit. Moving onto ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder,’ for whatever reason this song makes me think of Bonnie and Nille. I actually have a half-sketched lyric comic with this song set to their reunion, but only time will tell if I ever actually get around to finishing it.

Alright. We’ve made to the song this ask was actually talking about.

‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ is a beautifully painful song to think about in connection with Loop because it is such a cruel inversion of what actually happens. Odysseus returns home, changed and certain Penelope won’t love him anymore, convinced that when she looks at him she will see a monster. But when she sees him again, she sees her husband. She sees him, she recognizes him, she tells him she still loves him, that he is still the same person, that she will fall in love with him over and over. She tells him everything Loop wishes they could hear from their own party. In reality, the party didn’t recognize Loop, because they aren’t the same person anymore. In canon, Loop never gets the confirmation that the party loves them still. They know the party is grateful, but that’s only because they were able to help them find Siffrin. Siffrin thought the party loved him after he helped each of them during the friend quests, and it’s only after Act 5 that they realize that the party loved them already, and will continue to love them even if they mess up. Loop never gets that confirmation. As they fade back into the Universe, they do so knowing the party will not grieve them.

Part of my love for post-canon Loop content stems from my desire to see Loop asking, in their own way, without even realizing it, if the party would fall in love with them again.

The answer is yes. No matter how long it’s been, and how much Loop has changed, I believe that the answer is yes.

[cupcakewebkinz]

Scar.

✭ Modern Vee accidentally finds out about her toon varient's scar on her leg, how well will this go? ✭

* Modern au by @soupiestzilla / @soupiestfics ٭ Caretaker Shanon au by me ٭ tw - slight description of a scar, no blood/gore however *

♡ Usually I'd tag Zilla here, but she's credited above - so a fun fact instead! Twisted Toodles caused the scar on Toon Vee's leg, which is why it's so low on her leg. The Rabies Kid trauma lives on from my first run as Vee... Which I died to Toodles during a blackout on ♡

────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────

Today was anything but normal.

Today, Modern Vee was trying to teach Toon Vee how to genuinely cook, with the two's Shellys there for supervision. The four were in the kitchen together, the two Shellys sitting near their Vees, though they both were focused on the toon varient. She kept acting antsy, but only with one leg, she'd shift her weight off of it and shake it a little quite often, as if it was on fire and she didn't know what to do. She didn't seem to realize it either, as she had her full attention on her other version as she talked about how much edible glitter was okay to safely eat. Obviously this wouldn't be listened to, their pancakes will be bright rainbow with WAY too much glitter, but it was worth trying anyways. Though once the modern Vee caught on, she paused, taking a look at the other's leg with a concerned hum. Then she spotted it- the half circle shaped scar going across her leg, not far below the knee. Toon Vee kept touching it, acting like it was a brand new wound, despite it being obviously pretty old and as healed as it could be. It definitely was a bite of some kind, and a deep, painful one at that.

"Hey, you okay kid?" The modern robot casually asked, trying not to draw too much attention to the problem, however the toon seemed immediately defeated by the question, grabbing the hem of her shorts and pulling them down, desperately attempting to hide the problem- to avoid it, not think about it. Toon Shelly gently stopped her before she did anything stupid, now holding that hand instead to comfort her.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it." The toon replied after a long, quiet minute of silence. The two Moderns looked at each other... This wasn't the rambunctious, feral, glitter high Vee they knew. This was something dark... Something they probably shouldn't be touching, but they soon were anyways as the Modern Vee put her hand on the Toon's shoulder, forcing her to sit down on the chair she was previously standing on.

"What's wrong?" The modern robot asked, her voice oddly gentle, sweet. It was like a big sibling talking to their younger one, and the Toon melted, taking a shaky breath before she just shook her head as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

"My leg... It hurts so bad..." The toon confessed, a sniff following. A sob threatened to come out, but she swallowed it back. The modern Vee just knealt down a little so she was more at her level, less intimidating, more protective. Toon Shelly took a quick picture on her phone, knowing that this kind of moment meant the world to her favorite toon, especially since the one in front of her- concerned about her- tending to her- was her idol. The one who brought back the life in her, now was tending to her like family. It was special.

"Look, I know we fight- a lot- and I know I'm not the best toon for this, but if you need to cry- just cry. Nobody's going to be upset, we can glitterbomb the pancakes when you feel okay again." The other Vee softly reassured, getting a nod from the vulnerable little toon, who soon curled up in her chair and leaned into the other Vee, eyes closed as tears started to fall. Toon Shelly snapped another pic, the Modern one stuck in awe at how gentle and caring her usually chaotic lover was being. The two Vees didn't care, they couldn't care about that right now, they just focused on the poor toon suffering from phantom pain right now.

Hours later, when the pain spike had passed, the glittery pancakes from hell made, the group all sat around the living room in various spots, various poses. The modern Vee sitting as dramatic as ever, her sparkly outfit blinding Shanon so much she had to wear sunglasses inside as she just HAD to sit in the sunshine. The toon loafed beside her, injured leg off to the side, face relaxed as she enjoyed the sun with her. The two Shellys had plenty of pictures of the two FINALLY getting along throughout the day, though a question still lingered.

"Hey bud, what happened to your leg anyways?" Modern Shelly eventually asked, making the toon sit up with a tired little smile on her face.

"A rabid child bit it." Was her simple answer, as if that made any sense. It did not, so the mystery remained. At least, to their visitors, anyways.

[burning-academia-if]

Hello and welcome to me yapping about BA. I know this is late, but better late than never! (I have been sick since the end of November, so I also didn't get anything done during December fasdfja). This is pretty long, and I mostly wrote it for myself, since I like giving myself something to look back on in the future + reflect on my work. Feel free to skip this, especially because it is over 2k words LMAO

Brief content warning, there will be a very brief mentioning of health at the end. It won't go in to any detail since it is personal, but it is present! There will be a warning right before I talk about it, but I just wanted to give a head's up! Now onwards, to my 2024 look back: Burning Academia edition.

But first 14 years ago

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010), and you've just discovered the Persona series for the first time. One day, at the mall, you see a copy of Persona 3 Portable on the shelf in the store, and you beg your very Christian mother to buy it for you, watching as she gives a very hard stare at the blatant "M" rating on the case. By some miracle, you manage to convince her to buy it for you, and then proceed to binge and finish the game in 5 days. Your mom promptly takes away your PSP, which is fair enough in hindsight. You'd played at least ten hours of it each day.

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010, my memory is Bad), and you also discovered flash dating sims on DeviantArt, which also led to your discovery of otome games in general. Both this and P3P merge together into a story idea. One that you note down in a document full of other story ideas. The notes look like this:

Back then, thirteen year old me imagined an otome game mixed with the classic turn based RPG combat system, but made at a much smaller scale. There were 7 boys, and whoever you romanced changed what the final boss looked like.

It was also centered in a high school, and MC was a lot more of a blank slate sort of character, with no real background. They just happened to find a Weird Book at their private high school and got dragged into nonsense. There were still Wraiths (originally called Night Specters) who you fought during the three month span of the game. Said Night Specters were also controlled by the Resident Voice, who was not a love interest in the original.

Baby Em daydreamed about this idea a lot, for most of summer and throughout eight grade honestly. But it fell to the wayside for things I could actually do (basically, just my writing) and that was pretty much the end of that.

Until it wasn't

Flash forward to 2023, where I was having a rough time and unemployed and to give myself joy I went back through a lot of old files on my Google Drive. I'm not really someone that's ever been ashamed of my creative work, and questionable stories and art I drew are things I'm more fond of than anything. When I stumbled upon this, my brain latched on to it, so I took it, and ripped out it's guts to create the current version of Burning Academia.

Rook and Beck are the only "original" ROs from all that time ago. But even then, they've been changed A Lot, to the point where the two of them are completely different from what they used to be. Rhea was always a character (originally named Wish), who acted as the Best Friend/Guide for MC. She also completely changed to the point of being unrecognizable to the original. And Zoe was a random NPC who worked at the library. I took them, reworked them, and decided on these four as the love interests. Four was a perfectly manageable number, and BA had also changed a lot storywise that romance wasn't even the point anymore.

Of course, there clearly isn't four ROs LMAO

So, the Voice. They were also in the OG as the Villain controlling the Specters and manipulating your heart as a means to get whatever they were after. I'll be honest, I don't remember what they were originally after. But I've always liked villains whose connection to the hero is one where they dig their claws deep into them. It's how I got the idea of making them essentially 'haunt' MC. Then, the more I developed that, the more it just made sense for them to be an LI to me. The reason they're the only gender selectable one is because they're the one most reflective of MC (and the one who would change the least regardless of gender). And then that was it! We had five, I was done.

Which leads to Lars, I guess.

He ended up becoming a RO at the last minute, as in, a week before the launch of the blog last minute. He was kind of just this antagonist asshole whose primary job was to make sure you didn't do anything too stupid and who hated your guts. I'm going to be honest, I'm not that big of a fan of the asshole archetype, especially as a romance option. But then I got to chapter 5 in the outline of the story and it objectively just made sense. I can't say why because of spoilers, but I think I've mentioned all the ROs and MC are interconnected with each other and are meant to reflect certain aspects of each other in some way. With Lars, it would have felt off to me not to add him in, considering the type of character he'd grown into. So, with a sense of reluctance, I threw him in.

I think Lars is the funniest RO to me, because there was a point in time where he was the most popular on the blog, and I was like 'woah, him.' asldfakjldfjka. Over the past year, he's definitely grown on me in ways I haven't expected, and I think I almost find his awfulness endearing somehow. (To be honest, I think writing the scene of punching him in the face did wonders for my own perception of him).

As for the story changes, this clearly isn't set in a private boarding school ft teens. The original idea was just Persona 3 Portable all over again, because 13 year old me had a problem (I would proceed to replay the game over a dozen times over the years, so I still have a problem). And while I love the themes in P3P, I also feel like some of the things I wanted to write about just made a lot more sense with people within the college age range. I also decided to tie it in to a long standing world of mine, so that way I already had a solid basis of world building and lore. Placing it in what I dub the 'World of Fairytales' really anchored the story in my brain. I looked at all the other stories I'd written or developed that took place here, and I realized I'd yet to write one about death. And that's the focal point of BA:

It's a fairytale about death.

The Reception

I'm going to be honest, when I released BA I just expected it to get the same reception as anything else I'd written up to this point. I think when the demo dropped back in October 2023, I'd released two games, a game demo, and I think my novella and short story collection were out at the time. I'm terrible at marketing myself because I'd much rather vibe and make things than have to talk about it online, which is definitely part of the reason most of my work didn't even hit five hundred plays, save for one which had hit a thousand at that point. But you know, that does make it easy to keep making things when you don't feel like you have a bunch of eyes watching. (At least, for me. I know a lot of creatives feel the weight of loneliness of creation, especially when you pour so much into something only for no one to pick it up. I personally tend to release things on a whim though lol there's plenty of finished works I have laying around that I have no intention on sharing.)

Anyway, I thought Burning Academia was going to be much the same. So imagine my surprise when I post the intro post and I got eight hundred followers in a week.

My immediate thought was "I'm deleting the blog." After a year of making things no one paid attention to, eight hundred followers in a week for something was an overwhelming jump. At the time I'm writing this, we have apparently just crossed two thousand followers(???), which again, I was not expecting lol

I've been reading IFs for years now, dating back to about 2015. I was aware of the general community and vibes, although I wasn't fully in the community and just followed authors I liked. Still, I didn't realize how quick word gets around for a new IF. Especially when all I had was an intro post. Granted, I'd at least already had most of the prologue written and just needed to figure out Twine to code it in, so there was a sense of relief there that I wouldn't keep people waiting. But I did genuinely want to close up shop as quickly as I started.

Part of me is still a bit surprised I'm at where I'm at. I don't really care about numbers, be it mine or others, but I think at this point I'm closer to a mid sized author(?), which I can't comprehend. BA is more of a vibes story, with heavy themes that aren't for everyone. I also know there are certain aspects of BA that just aren't appealing to the overall IF community (it not really focusing much on romance, or the RO options being what they are, or just how bleak the first few chapters are).

I don't necessarily think it's like a niche idea, since it's just a fantasy dark academia, but I just assumed some of the details would make BA not noticed.

Anyway, clearly I'm normal about it now and my blog still exists. I do think if I knew where I'd land at, I might have waited longer to post everything, so I had a bit of backlog and more for people to play in the long run and it would have felt like a shorter wait on the player side. But also, in my defense, I did not expect 2024 to go the way it did.

What I wanted to achieve vs what I actually achieved

So, I wanted to have chapter 3 done before the end of 2024, and maybe even have chapter 4 started. It was a perfectly reasonable goal for me, in any other year where my body was better at being a body. I won't go into detail with health since I know it's a heavy topic for some, but I will briefly mention it since it was a major component to my creative output. Just skip the next paragraph if you don't feel like reading.

//

I got sick pretty much every month in 2024, with multiple of them being pretty bad infections. The second half of the year was a lot worse than the first half of the year, and that's why if it seems like everything slowed down after June/July, it's because of that. From November to now, I've been sick to varying degrees. It's why I did nothing in December because I spent it split between working still, the holidays, renewing various certifications for work, and trying to get some degree of rest between it all. My sister in law is a nurse, and she said I probably have an auto immune deficiency. Whether it's that or not, I'm going to get some tests done, and hopefully 2025 is a better year for me health wise!

//

Of course, I'm not upset with myself. Perhaps a little annoyed because I could have hit the goal I wanted if I hadn't been feeling awful for so much of the year, but I'm not annoyed with myself. Just the circumstances. I'll always be the type of person to take care of myself instead of forcing myself to do anything. Especially with something like this, which would just last to potential burn out.

So, I released 2 chapters of BA, a handful of the RO backstories, and a little short about MC's sister Marlowe. Including the unreleased chapter 3, I managed to write over 150k last year for BA. Which is a pretty solid number, honestly.

Depending on how life goes, I'll be aiming for up to chapter 4 this year. It'll also be a shorter(?) chapter than 3, or at least a little more manageable since chapter 3 just ended up having a decent chunk of branching. I won't give any estimates for chapter 3 since when I did, I missed all of them LMAO It'll release when it's ready, and I'll be chipping away at it during the times I feel alright.

Final Thoughts

This is already pretty long, so I'll bring it to a close here. If you read this far, thank you for listening to my yapping. And also just thank you to anyone whose played BA and decided to follow along for the ride!! I love BA a lot, and its both very fun and amazing and weird to see others enjoy it with me. The fact I've gotten so many asks, or fanart (please know if you drew fanart, it has been imprinted in my brain forever and also saved in a little folder on my desktop lol) is still a little surreal. So uh yeah, thanks for being here.

For my last trick, since you made it this far you can have an assortment of mindless doodles I have made of BA in questionable quality because I'm bad at photographing my art LOL

(Some of the few digital art doodles I haven't shown. Ft. mirrored Rooks and an unfinished comic page of Rhea)

The Rook pages

The scribbles ft Beck and Lars

The kinda mirrors ft Beck and Rhea

Aaaand that is all because I hit file limit (sorryyyy to Zoe I think I've already shared all the doodles of them I liked throughout the year sjsjsk)

[holocene-sims]

ramblings about my story

i don't have a cohesive post here but man i really wish i could just get myself to finish writing and posting everything the stars promised 😭

it's not like there's a time limit or anything, but i feel lowkey dumb for writing this thing for two years and not finishing yet, and the hiatus i planned to take just through the end of my college career is extending way longer than i wanted because, idk, i cannot find the motivation to play my game and write and post. and then the longer it takes me to finish the story or a certain scene or literally do anything with it, the harder it is to work on it. i feel like there's no point in posting it anymore because i'm taking too long and it won't be worth sharing.

sometimes i want to quit, sometimes i want to race to the finish line, sometimes i want to delete my whole blog, sometimes i wish i had a magic wand to make the story end NOW but properly with the ending i already have planned out so i can move on and do something different. and often i wish the different thing was just the epilogue so i could post the same sims but way more freely and not look at my game like a list of tasks to complete to finish x story thing. i'll never NOT be a writer in the sims first and foremost, but i would like to play the game more loosely instead of it being a screenshot creator.

i am super proud of this thing, and there is way more story to tell, which i really do desperately want to tell, but my brain is broken 🤷

[snail-day]

Hehe why hello there my beloved Snail. Ngl girl you have no reason to be apologetic about not proofreading your response because I was highkey cringing at all the typos I made when I read through the message I sent last night (still can’t believe I sent it to you like that my bad) *sighs* that’s what I get for rambling before bed. Alas it’s when I get the time to be insane on tumblr. Regardless, THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS!!! I did want answers but I didn’t mean to send so many😭, I really hope that didn’t take you too long. No because our interactions got me smiling, giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet. I got hearts in my eyes if you didn’t notice😍 THE ZOOMIES GO BOTH WAYS. I may not be running five miles (damn girl🫦) but I was walking around and zoning out to my playlist and now I gotta collapse after 15k steps today. Your responses are like a little treat in the morning I LOVE waking up to them, and this is so wonderfully fun!!!! This is what tumblr should always be about fr🥹.

Now I wanted to say this yesterday but it completely slipped my mind because all my neurons decided to detonate at the same time. I think it was one of your older asks, about how Geto would never fully trust a darling that would completely submit to him without fighting back. You learn a lot about somebody when they snap and I really love the way you reversed that with Suguru as the affectionate husband and reader being unable to trust him without ever seeing him express any type of confrontational behavior. Because in truth every girl wants the perfect man until she realizes she doesn’t know him at all behind the carefully curated mask. This would prompt me to ask if reader ever brought this up before serving the divorce papers? But then again I feel like he would just dismiss her feelings while saying something like his true nature is to lover her or something while kissing up her neck. Wasn’t expecting the mental hospital route in the medical AU but such a delectable surprise nonetheless. UGH ITS WRONGFUL IMPRISONMENT BUT WORSE!!! But you’re right Snail ehehe I think you should write another medical fic with our babygirl… IM NOT NORMALLY THIS GREEDY I SWEAR WAHHHH JUST TELL ME YOU SEE THE VISION. The blood draw scene, darling who avoids doctors on purpose, Satosugu trying to catch you up on all your vaccines (they’re really just sedatives to make you cute and relxed), THE HOME VISITS YOU MENTIONED😭Your writing is doing things to me and I can’t help it!!! In all seriousness though do whatever your heart desires, take a break even, you spoil me too much😂. I eagerly await the epilogue of Hysteria because I need to know how this one ends. You mentioned it may or may not have a happy ending and I won’t lie I don’t know how this is going to end up as happy unless she forgets all the events both leading up to and at the hospital and gets to go home in an ignorant bliss. Can’t wait to see how you’re going to do it!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY IDOL WANTS MY DISCORD REAL?!?!?!!! I’ll DM you trust. Very embarrassing bc you’re going to see my account and notice I just followed you. I promise I’m a real fan I’m just like this with every blog I follow. NO KIDNEY NECESSARY YOU’VE GIVEN SO MUCH ALREADY!! Though hehe if you wanna give me your heart I wouldn’t mind *batting my eyelashes at you btw* love you lots and as always have a splendid night or day or whatever time you usually get my messages!!

-Your silly zoomy 💖

AHHHH!!! Hi 💖 baby!!

I'll give you my heart 🥺🩷 (Sorry to everyone that sees us flirt every day)

In terms of the pre-divorce: You're very spot on with Geto's character!! Their marriage was very stable, while reader is having doubts of trust because well never seeing your partner get angry....is odd. Anger doesn't mean abusive, it's an emotion we all feel! So always having him be the calm person would just be annoying.

There are definitely some drawbacks of predivorce. They're both in the medical field. Which means there's days or sometimes a whole week when they can't see each other...plus Geto kept asking reader if she could move to his hospital since he doesn't really like her working in the ER (crazy stuff happens all the time) and he's not sure what he'd do if he lost his wife because a patient freaked out, someone walking in with a gun/bomb, someone thinking his wife is hot and kidnapping her. So when reader constantly says no, he does get a little frustrated but never shows it. Just flashes reader that sweet polite smile and says "okay angel" when in reality he's having a freak out.

Obviously, they had their sexual issues, and I just think those came up from life. Not seeing each other often and are exhausted from the work week. Other than that, it's pretty normal. They'd travel with Satoru, sometimes Shoko. Go on dates, visit reader parents (not his), cuddle on the couch, and watch something reader wants. He also makes reader's lunch every day in a cute bento box.

OKAY so

I lied not really happy ending??? But epilogue should be out Sunday or Monday at the latest. It's not as bad as TiLR. Maybe that could change

Love you 💖 baby!!!

[burning-academia-if]

Lars & 16. snowball fight? 👉👈

Lars + Snowball Fight

There was probably a reasonable, more mature way to deal with Lars Angel. In the months you’ve known him you’ve since to find it. But Lars was, well, Lars. He was always distant and cold and brushing you off, all while dressing like he was an elderly man living in the 1920s and maybe you were at the end of your ropes.

            It was the final straw when he’d given you his usual vague glances when you’d called out to him after getting out of your last final. Sure, it was to be expected. And yet. It felt like any and all raptor you’d managed to build up didn’t exist unless when it suited him best.

            So yes, you did drop down, scoop up some freshly fallen snow, and lobbed it at his head as he turned away without so much as a hello. And yes, you did mess up his overly perfect hair. He was going to kill you. It did nothing to drop the grin from your face. Even as passersby eyed you, those who knew the infamous man with the gaze of someone about to witness a murder.

             Slowly he turned around, and you kept your shit-eating grin, “Sorry, Lars. I think you were too quiet. Did you say ‘hello’ back?”

            He shook his head and the remnants of the snow fell off. His eyes narrowed faintly and people subtly got out of the way, not wanting to get caught in the cross fire, “I’m too busy for your nonsense today.”

            “Of course you are! Whenever are you not? But you can still spare a second to acknowledge me.”

            “I’ve acknowledged you.” His voice was flat. He turned away. Oh, you weren’t going to let this go quite so easily.

            But before you could so much as go for a second throw, you blinked and then you were almost teetering as a snowball hit you square in the face. You gasped, the cold biting as it hit your skin.

            Quickly you scrubbed it off, and your smile only grew, “Oh, so you do have a fun side?”

            “If you go for one more—”

            “What are you going to do? Don’t tell me you, Mr. Joyless-and-Boring, is going to have a snowball fight with me.” His eyes narrowed further, and the two your eyes locked in a standoff. There was still snow clinging to his jacket, you noted with mirth. And his scarf had come undone just a little. “Well?”

            You hadn’t expected him to actually do it. But one second the two of you were staring off and the next the two of you were running through the courtyard, off the paths, as people glanced over in surprise. Lars had perfect aim, because of course the bastard did, and you were mostly just trying to run away because you knew it was over the moment he caught up to you.

            Still, you tried your best and missed more then half your shots and a breathless laughter trailed after you. It was as you got to the end of the courtyard, and snow covered grass got turned to concrete, a hand was at your wrist. You fell back, foot slipping ever so gracefully, into a sturdy body. All the snow from being pelted with snowballs fell off as you hit.

            “You are a menace.” Lars stated, breathing almost as hard as you.

            “At least I keep things entertaining.” You turned to face him and he dropped your wrist. You reached out, lightly pushing strands of hair back into place. “You should probably fix your appearance. I can’t believe you’d look unprofessional when you have…whatever your busy with.”

            He swatted your hand away, “Are you satisfied.”

            “No.” You quickly backed away before he could grab you again. “You still haven’t said ‘hello’ back.”

            “…Hello. Now are you satisfied?”

            “Yep!” He brushed the snow off his clothes, and you wondered all the ways he was thinking of killing you. “This all could have been avoided if you just said it in the first place.”

            “Noted.” Lars turned, having enough of you for the day, and honestly, probably for the entire week. Still, it was with great satisfaction that when you caught him the next day, he finally greeted you back.

[thatlittledandere]

Cosplayed Marie at a convention today and so many people recognized her and even asked for photos aaaaaah!! It's never happened to me that many times a day before! :D

[emily-mooon]

I think the punch spill Nancy gets at the Halloween party is symbolism for how she feels responsible for Barb’s death. Like the colour of the punch on the white turtleneck looks like a blood splatter.

[sexynetra]

I’m so sorry to be that person but I can’t choose a specific prompt for the otp protective list thingy 🫠

IF you want to I’m down for anything on that list for boxer au, you pick…apologies again 🥲🥲

No worries! Even just showing interest at all in more boxer au is helpful to me 💕

Have some concerned Marcia, as a treat

Also… me completing a piece of writing these days? Less likely than you’d think! But we did it lads <3

Pretending everything is fine so the other doesn't have to know what's going on. / “Please never do that again.”

(Also uhhh this one got long sorry)

Ao3 link

~~~~~~~~~~~

Either Marcia had gotten complacent, or Anetra was an incredibly skilled actress. Marcia wasn’t sure which. But when Anetra insisted she was fine after a particularly rough match, Marcia believed her. After all, Anetra had no reason to lie to her. She was a nurse, Anetra would tell her if she was hurt. Besides, Anetra had been fighting long enough that she could certainly tell when an injury was serious or not.

So Marcia didn’t push, didn’t force Anetra to let her double check. They were early in their relationship, and Marcia didn’t want to ruin things by being too much of a worrywart. So she left after the match, with a kiss goodbye, and a promise to see her for their dinner date. And as she left, she tried to convince herself that everything was fine.

And it was, at first. Anetra looked radiant as ever when Marcia arrived at the restaurant, blonde hair perfectly coiffed, tight pink dress like a second skin hugging her perfect figure. Nearly all traces of the fight had been wiped away, hidden under effortlessly blended makeup.

The only hint that she had been bloody and bruised just that morning was the slight limp in her walk, and the split second longer than usual that it took her to react.

“Hi, beautiful,” Marcia murmured, crossing the distance to wrap her arms around Anetra and pull her in for a gentle kiss. Anetra set her hands on Marcia’s waist, squeezing gently as she kissed her back.

“Missed you,” she breathed into the kiss. “You look ethereal. As always. Taking my breath away.”

Marcia pulled back finally, a shy smile on her face. No matter how many times Anetra complimented her, Marcia still couldn’t believe it was real. That Anetra was actually hers.

In hindsight, maybe she missed the signs because she didn’t want to admit anything was amiss. She just wanted a nice date night with her girlfriend, and maybe if she ignored what she knew in her gut, it would go away. That was the hope at least.

But life didn’t work that way, and denying the evidence in front of her face could only last so long. Especially when Anetra was acting so… off.

“Babe, you aren’t looking too hot, are you sure you’re really okay?” Marcia asked after the third time she’d had to drag Anetra back into their conversation. Anetra blinked a few times, shaking her head for a moment as if trying to force herself to focus on the conversation at hand.

“Damn. And here I thought you found me beautiful. Now I’m not even that hot?” She joked, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. Marcia’s own frown deepened.

“Neech, I’m serious. You’re really out of it and it’s starting to scare me,” Marcia tried, chewing on her lower lip as she watched her girlfriend who was currently refusing to look her in the eyes.

“I’m fine, Marcia. Don’t be overdramatic. I had a big fight this morning. I’m just tired,” Anetra deflected, picking at her chipped nail polish and staring resolutely down at her food. Marcia deflated a bit.

“I’m not trying to—“ Marcia sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’m not trying to be a drama queen, I’m just worried, okay? Can we just like… go back to my place? Relax on the couch and go to bed early? If you’re really just tired then I’ll drop it and things will be all good in the morning.” Marcia put on her best puppy dog eyes, looking across the table at Anetra until her girlfriend looked back.

Anetra deflated slightly. “Yeah, okay. That sounds nice,” she admitted begrudgingly, waving over the waiter to get the check.

Marcia was still antsy, but was trying to rein in her concerns. Surely Anetra really was just tired, and a good night's sleep would fix everything. She kept telling herself that, until Anetra went to stand up.

Marcia felt frozen as she watched Anetra stumble, grabbing onto the edge of the table with white knuckles and clenching her eyes shut, head dropping. After a second she sprung into action, running over to the other side of the table to wrap an arm around Anetra, to make sure she was steady on her feet.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m fine. I'm okay. Just got… dizzy,” Anetra’s voice was distant, her breathing shaky, and Marcia’s heart broke for a moment.

“I’ve got you. Just breathe. Let’s go outside. Get some fresh air.” Marcia kept her arm right around her girlfriend, letting her lean against her side for support as she got them outside, helping Anetra down onto the nearest bench. She sat down beside her, thoughts racing as she watched the color return to Anetra’s face.

“Marsh, I—“ Anetra began after a moment but Marcia cut her off, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

“How long have you been feeling off? Don’t lie to me, please. I need to… I need to know if this has to do with the fight. Please, let me help you. I just want you to be okay,” Marcia rushed to get her words out, eyes wide and pleading.

Anetra was silent for a moment, chewing on her lower lip and fidgeting nervously with the rings she was wearing. “I… I thought it was just a headache from the impact, I swear. If I thought it was anything serious I would have told you,” She spoke quietly, finally glancing up from her lap to meet Marcia’s eyes. “I know you get frightened during these fights and I just. It would have scared you even more if I told you something was wrong. I just didn’t want you to have to worry about me.”

The revelation that Anetra had been hiding things from her did nothing to soothe Marcia’s frayed nerves. For all she knew, this wasn’t the first time Anetra had been hurt and thought it wasn’t important for Marcia to know. “I’m a nurse, Anetra. You need to tell me these things. Of course I worry, you’re my girlfriend, and I care about you. A lot. But I’m gonna worry a hell of a lot more when you nearly pass out in a restaurant than if you just tell me when something isn’t right. Or better yet just… let me check to make sure nothing major is wrong after fights. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Better I find it early than… whatever could have happened tonight.” She paused to take a few calming breaths, trying to keep a cool demeanor, despite how anxious she was. “You can’t keep this stuff from me, not if you want me to come to your matches. Not if you want to be able to keep fighting in the long run. This isn’t fun and games, Neech. It’s life and death, and I don’t think me being worried is an overreaction. This is my job, I know how risky what you’re doing is, and I just want to help. But you can’t keep this kind of thing a secret from me. Please never do that again. My heart can’t take it.”

The guilt was plain as day on Anetra’s face and Marcia wondered for a moment if she had pushed too hard, if she was being too harsh. But Anetra reached to take Marcia’s hands in her own, and Marcia melted slightly into the touch, having to blink a few times to keep her tears from spilling.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was… I didn’t realize. I never meant to frighten you,” Anetra murmured, running her thumb across the back of Marcia’s hand delicately. Marcia melted more at the gentleness, shifting to rest her head on Anetra’s shoulder.

“My heart can’t take it,” Marcia repeated quietly, closing her eyes and focusing on the feeling of Anetra, sturdy against her side.

“I know. I’m really sorry. If I’d known I was making you worry this much I never would have kept it from you…” Anetra’s breath was warm on her hair as she felt her place a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Marcia turned her face to bury it in the crook of Anetra’s neck. “You owe me big time, you know. For lying to me. You’d better be prepared to grovel.” Anetra laughed softly against her hair and Marcia smiled to herself, warmth running down her spine. Everything was going to be okay, she could tell.

“Of course, darling. Whatever you say.”