#also u have to ask his husband first /j

[necropathys]

Necro. May I smooch the goopy octopus man.

take the man out to dinner first, gosh. you know he's old fashioned!!!!

but maybe something more tame...?

[padfootastic]

Ahaha thank you for the nice comments in tags <3 i love Remus but he seems bit like a spineless people pleaser and after dating somebody who would rather lie about their feelings than have people be mildly upset with them..... I chose violence 🗡

no but ur so right because!!! i’ve been sleeping on this for a while but let’s talk about remus’ personality traits and how they have the potential to make him a bad/absent partner, at best, and an abusive one, at worst. everyone wants to turn him into this image of perfection just bc he’s such an ‘uwu victim’ figure in fanon but that’s SO far from the truth omg

(i am…just gonna put this remus character analysis under a cut bc it got unnecessarily long and i wouldn’t want u to read it if u didn’t want to lol)

so, for one, he’s manipulative. he has no combinations in twisting the truth or dodging it entirely for his own benefit. like, the man could stand in front of his dead best friend’s orphaned son & not even allude to the fact that he knew his dad. he had no problem bringing james & lily up in the most twisted ways possible to guilt/emotionally influence harry. so remus in a relationship would have the capacity to either knowingly or unknowingly manipulate his partner. the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss except more sinister.

next, his spinelessness. either as a defensive measure to deal w anti-werewolf hostility or as an innate personality trait, remus has the habit of just—not standing up for things. he looks away when his friends act like assholes, even when he’s in a position of authority (which yes, u can argue that he’s afraid of losing them but atp they’ve literally risked life & magic & azkaban for him so either way, he comes off badly—either he doesn’t mind himself, or he doesn’t fully trust their friendship, or it’s just easier to look away). in a relationship, this can manifest as bottling everything inside u until it makes u bitter or u violently unload on the other person in an entirely disproportionate manner. the dynamic would also be a bit skewed. the people pleasing u mentioned is also such a big thing that people usually overlook. when ur constantly trying to make the other person happy and don’t want to rock the boat, that is a cocktail for miscommunication and breakdown of relationships. ur also constantly putting the emotional burden of constructively dealing w issues on ur partner instead of doing it urself.

connected to his cowardice is his habit of running away when things get tough. remus is conflict avoidant; he does not like to put himself in a position where he has to take a decisive stance, especially if it’s against what others around him believe in. he runs away when things get tough, and tbh, for me, this comes from a constant spiral of self hatred & self victimisation, both of which stem from his experience as a werewolf. in every difficult situation, he centres himself & his discomfort and instead of dealing with it and moving forward for a constructive solution, he decides that stepping back from it altogether is better. which, yeah, works well for him bc he can temporarily put a pin in it but it’s kinda terrible for everyone’s who’s left behind. so i also think that remus is a profoundly selfish character who doesn’t look beyond the end of his own nose. u can imagine how those traits might manifest themselves in a relationship.

and his people pleasing!! so this might be verging on fanon but his gratitude and/or devotion to dumbledore sets an…interesting tone. it’s also another example of how he cannot conceive himself in any other term except as a victimised werewolf. the marauders did a lot for him, arguably even more than dumbledore’s token representation formula, but he never felt indebted to them the way he did for D. dumbledore also kind of makes him feel needed? validates his feelings? and that just speaks to a very twisted sense of self for me. which, again, won’t bode well for his other interpersonal relations.

also, on a very hc note, i also feel like remus just…does not have any significant capacity to love. he takes and takes and takes but doesn’t give much in return. this doesn’t even have to be an actively malicious decision, tbh, just a very self-centred one. he doesn’t realise how much he’s taking bc he’s only thinking about his own circumstances.

all of these are also just why i can’t see r/s working out in any healthy manner. remus is exactly antithetical to everything sirius is/believes in, and not even in the fun ‘opposites attract’ way. but that’s another rant no one asked for lmao

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

"dance recital" - hotch x mom!reader!

your family attends your daughter's dance recital

1480 words, domestic family fluff

cw: none? unless u hate kids then don't read this xD

a/n: i am looking at requests and actually have a couple of them started! inspiration just struck and i needed dance dad hotch xD plz keep sending requests i love getting them

---------------

Lizzy had been practicing for weeks, at home, in the car on the way to school, even in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. If there was a free moment, she was up on her toes, practicing her dance routine.

When she turned four, she was so excited to sign up for dance class, and now her very first recital is later today. She takes it very seriously, and you attribute that entirely to her hardworking father. 

You’re standing in the kitchen, packing the picnic lunch you’ll be sharing as a family after her recital in the park. PB&J, no crusts, for Jack. Even though he’s nearly ten and he should be eating his crusts, you can’t help but to baby him a little. He’s been such a good big brother to Lizzy. You were anxious about that when you were pregnant with her, since Jack was so used to being the only kid. And there would always be the looming presence of Haley and the family he was a part of before you came along.

But Lizzy became the center of Jack’s world when she was born. He’s so doting and always playing with her, from when she was an infant to now. 

Nutella and peanut butter sandwich for Lizzy, because she has a sweet tooth just like her mother. Turkey and cheese for you and Aaron. “D’you want mayo, honey?” You call out to wherever Aaron is in the house. He was in the living room just a few minutes ago, but with your two crazy kiddos, he could have ended up anywhere. 

“Just the mayo, no honey,” Aaron jokes and nearly makes you jump as he enters the kitchen, padding silently behind you despite being the largest person in the house. Must be that fancy tactical FBI stealth training. 

He stops at the counter, leaning against it and facing you. Your eyes meet his and his voice is low when he speaks to you. “You need to make a big deal out of this,” he prefaces, nodding to the doorway. You don’t fully know what he’s talking about, but you understand enough, so you set your butter knife down and turn around to face the doorway. Aaron makes a drumroll on his thigh. “Come on in, kids!” 

Jack enters first, in a bright orange t-shirt that is definitely a size too big. Written in blue, puffy fabric paint, no doubt by Jack himself, are the words PROUD BIG BRO. Jack’s also holding Lizzy’s hand, escorting her into the kitchen. She’s in her violet tutu and has her hair up in two haphazardly pulled-back pigtails that could only be described as the work of her father. She’s walking on her tiptoes, with her free hand arched up in a semicircle shape, mimicking all the ballerinas in her books. 

You’re beaming, and take the sight in silently for a moment before bursting into uproarious (for one woman) applause. “You guys look so great!” You exclaim, grinning at the kids, and then back at your husband. He’s got this sly look on his face and you want to smooch it off. “When did you make this shirt?” You ask Jack, stepping forward and grabbing his face with both of your hands. You kiss his forehead and ruffle his hair.

“Dad and I did it while you were at the store last night,” Jack explains. 

“I love it, baby,” you tell Jack, and he beams. You stroke the apples of his cheeks with your thumbs before releasing him. 

Lizzy lets go of her brother’s hand and leaps for you. “My big girl is all dolled up for her first recital,” You lift her up, hugging her close. “Did Daddy do your hair for you?” you ask.

“Yes! He sang our song and I didn’t cry!” she says. You always sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to Lizzy while you brush her hair because she’s very tender-headed. It makes your heart soar to learn that Aaron did it, too. 

“I’m so proud of you!” You kiss Lizzy’s face all over until she squeals and wriggles to get away. “Why don’t you guys go play in the living room for a little bit, and we’ll get going soon,” you suggest. Jack races Lizzy into the living room, leaving you and Aaron in the kitchen alone. 

“You did her hair,” you say as you smirk up at Aaron. 

“Yeah, I know. It's not as good as when you do it,” he settles back against the counter and you roll your eyes. He’s holding his palms out, wiggling his digits. “I’ve got sausage fingers, and she cries if you pull the twist-tie too hard. It’s heartbreaking.” 

“And you made a shirt with Jack,” you say, ignoring his self-deprecation. Your smirk has turned into a full-force, Category Five Grin. 

Aaron realizes what you’re doing as you inch a little closer. He takes your wrist delicately, tugging you toward him, and you kiss his lips three times in succession, each a quick thank-you for all he’s done. “You’re the one driving her to classes twice a week,” Aaron deflects. “And Jack to school, and to soccer practice, and doing all the shopping and-“

“Aaron,” you roll your eyes in warning. You hate when he butters you up like this. You’re just doing your job, just like he is when he’s away on cases. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” he holds his hands up in defense, and you snatch them like they’re precious jewels. You kiss him again, this one longer and lingering. 

You finish packing your family’s lunch into the cooler. Lizzy’s recital is at a small amphitheater in the park, and after you drop her off with her teacher backstage, you and your boys find a good spot on the green to set up your picnic blanket. 

Aaron makes this small grunt when he squats to sit down on the ground and you hold back a snicker. Jack does not read the room and calls him an old man. 

You’re giggling as you sit down, Aaron tugging you to sit between his legs. You affectionately run your hand through Jack’s hair a few times before the first class comes up onto the stage. 

You watch the first class, and the second, clapping politely. Then, the four-and-five-year-olds are announced, and you are on your feet immediately. You hear a bit of rustling and Jack and Aaron are standing up, too. You grin when you see Lizzy with the other little kids, holding the hands of the boy in front of her and the girl behind her as they all walk in a line. 

Their dance is simplistic and whimsical and joyful, set to a light, poppy tune that makes you think of spring. You’re grinning and watching Lizzy float across the stage. She’s not the most graceful, but she hits every move at the right time.

You hear rustling behind you and turn over your shoulder to see Aaron and Jack subtly performing the dance with the class. They’re not moving nearly as dedicatedly as the group on stage, but they’re helping Lizzy from the audience. It’s so sweet you want to cry. 

When Lizzy’s group is finished, the three of you on the lawn explode in applause. Aaron wolf-whistles behind you and Jack is cheering, “that’s my sister!” 

After the other classes go, you’re allowed to head back and pick up Lizzy. She’s giggling with the other kids in her class, but she freezes and grins like it’s Christmas morning when she sees you. 

“Mommy!” she squeals, and runs to you. You lift her up off the ground in a hug and spin her around, before passing her off to Aaron. He does the same thing. “Dizzy! Dizzy!” She’s squealing, and Aaron finally sets her down. 

“Dizzy Lizzy, huh?” Aaron teases, running his thumb and his forefinger down one of her pigtails. “You did so good, sweet girl!” He was never the best at baby-talking to Lizzy, but now that she’s a little girl, he speaks to her so excitedly and she always beams when she learns her father is proud of her. 

“You got the leap at the right part!” Jack exclaims proudly, and you watch as Lizzy hugs her big brother. 

You point out the picnic blanket with the cooler and tell Jack to take Lizzy ahead to it. Jack loves being responsible, so he takes Lizzy by the hand and leads her towards your family’s setup. 

Hanging back with Aaron, you look up at him and brush his dark hair off his forehead. “You learned her dance?” you ask with a small smirk on your face. 

Aaron’s dark eyes gaze into yours and he wraps an arm around your shoulders, tugging you close to him. “She was doing it every chance she got,” he shrugs, like it’s totally no big deal. “You’re telling me you don’t have it memorized?”  

[kurooandkenmasslut]

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐗 𝐅!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎: 𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍, 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝒃𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄'𝐒..

ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵃⁱⁿˢ ˢᵐᵘᵗ, ʲᵉᵃˡᵒᵘˢʸ, ⁿᵃⁿᵃᵐⁱ ⁱˢ ᵃ ˡⁱˡ ᵖᵒˢˢᵉˢⁱᵛᵉ, ᵍᵒʲᵒ, ᵃ ˡⁱˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳˢᵗⁱᵐᵘˡᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ, ⁿᵃⁿᵃᵐⁱ ᵗⁱᵉˢ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ, ᵖʳᵉᵍⁿᵃⁿᶜʸ ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿ& ˡⁱˡ ᵐᵃᵈ ⁿᵃⁿᵃᵐⁱⁿ 🥰 ʲˢ ᵃ ˡⁱˡ ᵈʳᵃᵇᵇˡᵉ ᵐʸ ᵇˢᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ˡᵐᵃᵒᵒ & ˡᵉᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ⁱᶠ ⁱ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ˣˣ

𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒, 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐒, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 & 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃.

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

𝐌𝐘 alarm rang out throughout the room, making me quickly shut it off before my wife, Y/N, the sleeping beauty, wakes up. she isn't much of a morning person.

slowly walking to the bathroom to freshen up, I thought about the work I'll have to do today. The soft bristles against my teeth was slowly waking me up. Washing my face, i recalled Gojo-san informing me yesterday on the mountain of work I'll have to do, making me groan for the reminder. The usual.

going back to the bedroom, I kissed y/n's forehead, putting the blankets over her body. The bakery she owns doesn't open until another hour or so.

having a little time for myself, I took out the loaf of bread sitting on the counter, freshly made yesterday by Y/n. Putting the soft bread into the toaster, I checked my phone to see gojo spamming me with useless messages

7:47 Gojo Sataru ■■■■ 96%

Gojo: hey buddy! do u think u could ask ur wife if she can make me some kikufifu 😇💘🥹🥰🔥 7:40a.m

plzzzzzz 7:40a.m

plzzzzzzz me beg 🙁🙁👿👿 7:41a.m

nanaminnn don't make me come over there!! 7:41 a.m

4 missed calls from

Gojo Sataru at 7:43a.m

You: no. don't call me or text me unless it's about work. She will not be making you anything. Get it from the shop. She's sleeping. Make sure to be there early. We have a meeting with Yaga at 8am sharp. If you miss it again there will be consequences. 7:47a.m

Gojo: but itadori told me she makes it goodddd

fine. I'll swing by her bakery later then.

And no promises! 7:47a.m

God. Gojo does take the whole cake by bringing annoying first thing.

After eating his toast, he then made a move for work, sighing as he got in the Jujustsu High doors.

𝐘/𝐍 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

𝐈 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 the sign, now reading "𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍" in green. I had just finished making the pastries. A few customers rolled in, making me put on a big smile, despite how tired I was. It was almost time for nanami to finish at the school. he did mention yesterday he'll come by to collect some bread and you.

A few hours roller past, One customer in particular, stood out. He was a tall man, broad shoulders, a black blindfold, white hair and that very familiar uniform.

He was familiar. Nanami showed me a picture of him and called him 'Gojo', also labeling him as 'annoying'. So this is the man flooding my husbands phone. Strange behaviour, I must say.

"Hiya! Good morning! What can I get ya?" I say, the usual phrase I use.

"Hey, do you make kikufifu?" Gojo asked, a grin sliding onto his face.

"Sure do! Just not at the moment though as I don't have it in today. Sorry about that! Can I get you something else?" I proposed, interlocking my fingers with a small smile.

"You're Nanamins's wife, right?" So he does know nanami. Interesting.

"Mhm! I'm assuming you are.. Goyo? Goko?"

"Its gojo.. but I can let silly mistakes slide for a pretty girl like you. Actually forget that. Call me satoru."

I smiled a bit. "Why thank you, Satoru. but seriously, what can I get you?" I asked, I really wanted to get this over with. Don't get me wrong, Gojo seems nice and he is attractive, but im not unfaithful, and I think nanami is cuter anyway...

"Eh, it's fine, I'll come in tomorrow for that mochi, sweet cheeks. Just worry about getting that kikufifu ready for me, just the way I like it. Little Baker girl." He smirked and ruffled my head.

Who does this man think he is? He just got confirmation that I am married, with his co-worker. My eye twitched in frustration, I can't get mad at my customers.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing, Gojo? Get your hands off my wife. I'd appreciate if you don't call her nicknames aswell." A familiar voice called out through the small bakery. A firm, slightly veiny hand clutched onto Gojo's shoulder. The hand had a very, familiar watch, the one you gifted to a certain someone.

Gojo chucked before turning around. A cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"I was just about to leave, no need to get your pants in a twist! I'll leave you two lovebirds at it yeah?" Gojo says, before waving his hand, still, with that still cheeky smile.

Nanami sighed. Now that Gojo was would of thr way, you could see Nanami's face. His perfectly plucked eyebrows was furrowed and his jaw was clenched. He gritted his teeth a bit. You weren't gonna lie, you rubbed your thighs together a bit.

"I'm sorry about him darling. He can- no.. is a menace. I'll talk to him when I get back to the school." Nanami muttered, plastering a kiss on your forehead. Your cheeks dusted a pink before you got the bread Nanami likes and out it on the counter.

Putting it in the bag, slipping in a few sweet treats, you handed him the bag and gave him a kiss on the lips. He wore a small smile.

"Thank you dear. You are only 𝑴𝒀 Baker girl, right?"

Some may think in an innocent way, some may think in a other way. And in this case, its the other way.

"Not only do you make things that taste good, you 𝑨𝑳𝑺𝑶 taste good."

Cry. That's all you did. Big fat tears streamed down your sweet, little face. Running down and getting caught by the tie you're mouth is being muffled by.

You've came how many times these past few hours of the night? His mouth? His fingers? None. You practically scream into the tie as you feel yourself gonna cum soon. You're brain tried to think if he's gonna let you cum tonight at all.

"Mmh!" You screamed, your restrains around your wrists and ankled tight against the bed.

Nanami licked a slow, almost a teasing lick up your pussy, watching your every move. His strong hand pushed your arching hips while his other occupied with opening your legs even wider.

"You know, this is your punishment, right? You let that man touch you so freely, as if your husband wasn't standing behinf him. You should know for next time, yeah?" You screamed out a somewhat positive response, making his grin wider.

He took his tie out of your mouth, letting you have you chance to speak.

"Baby, let me cum! Please! I'm begging you!"

"Hmm.. why should I?" He asked. He then slithered his thick cock in the for the first time tonight, hitting your g-spot continuously.

You panted and moaned trying to get your words out. And you knew already, if you don't get it out now, you won't come at all tonight.

"P-Please! Mhh! Fuck- I.. I w-wont let him in my sh-hah... shop a-again! Please ken-toooo!" You managed to drag out.

"Tsk.. fine."

You were chasing your high while his one hand held your hips to cause a bruise, the other rubbed your clit. His hips moved like crazy. You knew you would have to use something to hold you upright tomorrow. But that's not something you thought or worried about right now. All you worried about was cumming.

"Mhh! S'too much, Ken! 'S too big!" You cried out.

"You can take it, like you always do yeah? Always say that.. yet you take me in beautifully."

Drool ran down your mouth like a crazed animal, but you didn't care. All you were seeing was stars at the back of your skull while nanami was chasing his high. You came, hard. You held on to the tie that's holding you down for support.

Nanami panted, sweat sliding down his face.

"Hah.. inside or.. outside?" He asked. Kids. You and Nanami have talked about kids before. You two had jobs, definitely financially stable for another being, you do have a few guests room, so none of that is stopping you.

So what is?

Nothing.

"Ins-side!" You cried out, nanami looked up, unsure.

"You sure?" He asked, massaging the spot where he bruised your hip.

"Yes!" That's was all he needed to release.

You both stayed where you were, both panting.

Nanami then pulled out, his cum oozing out. He grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand, handing it to you. You mumbled a 'thank you' to him before gulping it down. After getting set free from your bounds to the bed, you thought it was over. You really did. That was until nanami stated,

"Alright, all fours now. If you want a baby, you're getting stuffed to the 𝑩𝑹𝑰𝑴."

[whyse7vn]

MILITARY WIFE -

[ot7 x reader]

SEOKJIN -

jin: if you’re pregnant now this the time to tell me

y/n: blocking you

jin: you are my fire

y/n: kick fucking rocks seokjin

jin: breaking both my legs

y/n: are you gonna miss me that much?

jin: no

being in the army seems like so much effort

y/n: bye

jin: i’m so fr

what the fuck am i kim seokjin gonna do in the fucking army

y/n: ran laps and shit idk

jin: FOR 2 YEARS

oh no

sorry not going

i have a really bad knee and ur pregnant my arm is bent backwards and hitting all these c4’s has given me slight brain damage

y/n: clearly

jin: what

y/n: what

jin: plus ur like super depressed and me leaving would only increase that depression which is understandable

yk? since i’m me and all

y/n: i think i’ll be fine

jin: don’t lie babe

y/n: just say ur gonna miss me and move on kim seokjin

jin: i won’t and pls stop saying my full name i don’t know you like that…

y/n: suddenly ur single

jin: wtf what did i do

y/n: i’m so sick of you

jin: see a doctor or something idk?

but we need to make a baby like rn ur not pregnant right ?

y/n: no and i don’t plan on being anytime soon

jin: um that’s not apart of the plan…

i clearly said ur pregnant my arm is bent backwards and something bout a knee injury are you not following?????

y/n: no i am

i just think ur being ridiculous

jin: ME???????

i think ur the ridiculous one rn

ur loving bf is trying to stay with you and is willing to go against the laws to do so and ur not helping???

i think we should take a break or something…

y/n: for 2 years?

jin: OMG UR WORKING WITH THEM ARENT YOU?

you want me gone

y/n: …

YOONGI -

y/n:

yoongi: bye

i’m not even gone yet

y/n: i don’t know if i’m ready for the military wife shit…

yoongi: we aren’t married so you don’t need to worry about that life

y/n: shut the fuck up

anyways

bae why didn’t you tell me sooner i mean what if was pregnant or something ???

yoongi: you’ve known for a whole year and ur not pregnant.

y/n: WHAT IF YOONGI

yoongi: do not start this shit again.

y/n: you wouldn’t be there when i gave birth..

the first birthday…

i can’t do this yoongi…

yoongi: oh no i guess we have to break up😱

y/n: yk what i’m gonna have a blast when ur gone

yoongi: crazy

what about the baby

y/n: fuck the baby the baby isn’t real it was a test of your love and commitment to me and you FAILED

yoongi: damn :/

y/n: you’ll be fine tho right

yoongi: ofc my love

y/n: i mean idc i knew that lolz

was just checking

yoongi: i know bby

y/n: ew ur hot and i love you

yoongi: ew?

y/n: ew

yoongi: ew i guess i love you too

y/n: and u think i’m hot?

yoongi: the hottest

y/n: ur so cringe bro

yoongi: bro???

y/n: it’s time to put this picture up i think

yoongi: 😐

y/n: and when people come to our house i’m gonna be like “yeah that’s my husband… he’s out at war rn” (i’m looking out the window at this point) a single tear runs down my face as i rub my stomach and smile “he’ll be back soon” then there’ll be a knock at the door making me and who ever tf is with me jump a little i go answer the door with the person following behind me (they are nosey af) i open the door and gasp “bang pd… what are you doing here?” he’s holding his hat in his hands and looks really upset he looks at the ground as he speaks to me “y/n….”

yoongi: what the fuck

let the pregnancy thing go

and just because i’m joining the military doesn’t mean i’m going to war you know that right?

and why do i have to die at the end?

y/n: you need to be asking the real questions like who tf is in the house with me ?

also i never said you died YOU said that

yoongi: well it was implied that i died

y/n: shut UP

yoongi: anyways im omw home put the heating on

y/n: sir yes sir 🫡

JIMIN -

y/n: WHEN YOU SAID LIGHT IT UP LIKE DYNAMITE YOU WAS FR THIS WHOLE TIME ?!?

jimin: yeah babe 😔💔

y/n: you fr gonna me lighting hoes up ????

jimin: with a little funk and soul

y/n: omg send me a pic of ur first ak 🥺

jimin: idk if they’ll actually give us guns

y/n: why not?

jimin: kim namjoon with a gun make that make sense

y/n: ur so right

maybe they’ll just give you one

and yoongi the others idk…

my boys and their lil pistols 🥺🥺🥺🥺

jimin: do you think i’ll look good bald?

y/n: no

but it’s okay i’ll still love you

jimin: …

y/n: xoxo

NAMJOON -

y/n: you taking this army shit too far don’t you think…

namjoon: 🤨

y/n: i’m ur number one supporter always but like…

i’m all for army don’t get me wrong

but actually joining one i think you’ve got confused…

namjoon: babe.

y/n: so if you could fix ur confusion then we can continue

namjoon: buzzcut

y/n: ur bags are packed

when do you join

when do i get to see

you can take your phone with you right

GOd FORBID I LET YOU TAKE THAT FUCK ASS ANDROID make sure you take that iphone

you can definitely send me photos right

ur gonna be so buff omg

i’m gonna combust

but i like ur long hair

wtf no

☹️☹️☹️☹️

it makes you look so great

it’s so you

so soft

frames ur face so nicely

what if i hate the buzz

what if ur head is wonky

nvm u cant do it

tell them ur not going because what if the other people bully you for ur wonky head

i won’t be there to help you

i cant have that

ok it’s official you’re staying

namjoon: babe

y/n: call them namjoon before it’s too late

namjoon: it’s going to be fine

y/n: no it’s not

wtf am i gonna do without you

FOR 2 YEARS BABE

ur telling me i have to eat alone as in all by myself ?

no thanks

i’ll pass

namjoon: stop it

it’ll be fine

y/n: 😟😟😟😟😟😟

don’t talk to me i’m sad

man

what the heck

ok i’m over it

namjoon: oh?

y/n: yep

namjoon: cool

y/n: cool.

namjoon: 👍🏻

y/n: fuck you and ur stupid little thumbs up

namjoon: what

y/n: what if i also join the army

namjoon: be fr with me love

y/n: WDYM i could so do it

namjoon: right…

if you were to join

it literally changes nothing

y/n: :c

we could shoot guns together

and have a picnic on the field

namjoon: we would be separated babe

y/n: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

namjoon: oh wow

y/n: i am over it

namjoon: ofc you are

y/n: are you trying to fight me??

namjoon: no??

y/n: how about i pack ur bags now

just leave me in the dirt already idc

namjoon: ☹️

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: is all of seventeen single?

tae: idk wtf

i do not see why this is relevant

y/n: yk

tae: yk what?

y/n: i’m going to ask google

tae: hello what???

y/n: google didn’t help

the bitch said maybe maybe not

loser

she’s supposed to KNOW

tae: what is going on

and do you not have their numbers

thought u were besties

y/n: IK THAT

but i can’t just ask like that what if they catch on

what then tae

tae: catch on to what?

y/n: that i want one of them

are you silly

keep up

but that would totally ruin my whole plan

tae: ???

are you sick in the head

ur bf is right here

you are actively telling me all this yk that right?

ur kinda a bad cheater

y/n: hey

i need to make plans for the future ur gonna be gone for 2 years i need to be loved

tae: i’ll still love you when i’m in the army wtf

y/n: cute

but that will not cut it

who will i wake up to everyday?

who will play the trumpet at 9pm really loud and do it as bad as you?

who will talk to me about their sick obsession with feet?

tae: fine be like that

i just find a new gf fuck you

cheating BITCH

y/n: wtf

that is not fair i let you kiss and cuddle ur all ur little members for our whole relationship

i think it’s only fair that i get to hold a seventeen members hand for a bit

tae: i DO NOT kiss and cuddle them wtf

y/n: okay.

tae: what if somebody leaks our chats and the people believe that

it will ruin my perfect image

y/n: they already think you kiss and cuddle and ur doing perfectly fine

tae: how do you know

y/n: how do you not know

tae: what seventeen member do you want

y/n: don’t talk about my bfs like they are shopping items

but i am not picky woman

first come first serve

tae: but you-

nvm idc

fuck you

y/n: maybe i’ll date them all at once

then i fr never be lonely

tae: my fans will dox you and take all ur money

y/n: booo

my house is your house

my money is your money

we’ll be doxxed and broke together when you come back 😍

my 13 men will take care of me when ur gone

tae: 13 men is 26 feet 🦶

y/n: this is when i stop talking to you

JUNGKOOK -

jk: :(

me when i think about going to the army

:/

me when i think about being alone

:(

me when think about being away from you

:/

me 2 hours ago

:D

me rn

y/n: what changed in the last 2 hours

jk: i got something

y/n: what did you get

jk: i don’t want to tell you

just know it makes me happy and i’m a grown adult so i can buy what ever i want

y/n: omg okay.

why so defensive what the hell

jk: you shouted at me last time i told you about something i got

y/n: jungkook you brought a rock for 4k

a

ROCK

for

4

k

jk: the past is the past for a reason

y/n: anyways

what did you get

jk: not telling

anyways have i told you how much i love toy story

loved it for my whole life

y/n: you watched it for the first time yesterday

jk: ok?

y/n: bye

maybe going to the army will do you good

they might be able to scare you into acting right

jk: i act perfectly fine the heck?

y/n: a 4k rock is not perfectly fine to me

LIKE FR A PLAIN NORMAL ROCK it’s all coming back to me ur actually so sick in the head omg

jk: LET IT GO OMG

ur making me upset

y/n: what the fuck jungkook

jk: ?????

y/n: how much money did you pay for this

jk: not following

are we still on the rock?

because it was 4k you literally just said that

y/n: jungkook

jk: stop saying my name i’m kinda scared rn

y/n: WHY DID A PACKAGE OF 1462 TOY STORY SOCKS JUST COME TO MY DOOR?

jk: oh

lolz

why would you open it

was my package not urs :(

y/n: how much was it

jk: my phone is going crazy rn omg

i think someone leaked my number

i have to get rid of it asap omg

y/n: i will not let you into this house

how much was it

jk: haha

so um

funny thing is

omg is that car coming towards me?

omg i think itBDSHD/£:££:£:£:;£;&3&348(8(8(84847£4£44££;£3&3&

hey

this is a random lady on the street ur bf jungkook got hit by a car he idk if he’s alive let me pass the phone

hEy babbbe i cAn hrdly breatheee rn idk if i’m gnA make ittttt

jst know in my last momentttts i was thInking obf u luv u biye xx

y/n: do not come home unless you want to die fr

jk: hello this is the random lady again ur bf died i’m sorry for ur loss

y/n: how much did the socks cost you

jk: 7

y/n: 7?

jk: k

y/n: i pray the army takes everything from you

jk: ….

y/n: including ur will to live

HOSEOK -

hobi: until i join the army i have decided to live my life as an australian

starting now

y/n: how unfortunate

hobi: naur way it’s dandy mate

y/n: oh wow

what made you make this decision?

hobi: i saw that new jeans girl say let’s gaur and my life was changed mate

y/n: ur accents so strong it comes through in text that’s crazy i must say

hobi: let’s gaur down under on top naur way

y/n: this is taking years off my life

hobi: naur way mate hopefully it takes 2 years off mine mate let’s gaur

y/n: this feels like it’s a form of self punishment

hobi: bingo mate naur way you’ve cracked it i wanna die mate

y/n: wow

this is a lot to take in all at once

hobi: naur mate this is crush hour crush hour let’s gaur

y/n: idk if australians say naur in every sentence

hobi: naur mate it’s an auzzy thing mate you would get it let’s gaur

y/n: no cuz ur so right my fault

hobi: naur i think it’s time i end this let’s gaur

i will now only talk in song lyrics

starting now

pop pop pop

y/n: oh man

i was just starting to like the australian thing

hobi: pull my sneakers on

tell me tell me

y/n: tell you what?

hobi: got army right behind us when we say so

y/n: soon u will be army

isn’t that crazy

hobi: darling i don’t wish you well

y/n: omg ?!

rude

breaking up with you

hobi: i might kill my ex

y/n: sick little fuck

hobi: kiss kiss fall in love

baby i’m sorry

y/n: forgive you

hobi: i’m not sorry

ok i’ve decided i only want to talk in emoji

starting now

☠️

y/n: i feel like i’m having a stroke

hobi: 😭🙏🏻

y/n: i’m leaving now

hobi: 😟😟😟😟😟😟

😣😣😣😣😣

😰😰😰😰😰

😞😞😞😞😞

😐😐😐😟😟

…

kinda hate this one. did write it before jin left too so yez also sorry jimin’s one is kinda short it’s sosososs long to make these individual ones i feel like as i go through each member you can see me low-key going insane and shit not making any sense hope you enjoyed it tho xoxo

[inkareds]

Can I please request some fluffy headcanons with namor or a lazy day? I need more soft namor after the fight between wakanda and talocan is over, Thank you if you do this!

Care for You Namor

nav // marvel m.list // ko-fi ✧.* word count: 2.4k ✧.* genre: SFW // suggestive fluff ✧.* warnings: just some suggestive things at the end but I still think it's SFW

After the fight between Wakanda and Talocan, Namor worries you were disappointed in him, how wrong he was.

Taglist (rmbr u can join my taglist through the link in my bio or commenting in my monthly wip lists on which fics you'd like to be tagged also if you'd like to be removed j tell me! No hard feelings!!! &lt;3): @simonsbluee @namorwife @euphrosyn3 @dilly-dalladalla @deliciousfestsalad @lothkat @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry

(all italic texts are Mayan) 

“I can’t believe he would do such a thing, I mean, giving up to that spoiled Wakandan Princess?! It’s a disgrace to our fighting abilities. We had them! You know we did!”

“Does it matter if we had them or not?! If what they’re saying are true, that ‘spoiled Wakandn Princess’ bested him in a fight. He could’ve died and the only thing you’re thinking about right now is if we were defeating those Wakandan soilders or not?!”  You practically yelled at Attuma. 

Namor, your husband, had said it would be better if you both were to fight on different fronts. After all, it was expected for him not to fight with the main army as he would’ve needed to fight against Shuri. If you were fighting with your soldiers it would bring the overall mood up, seeing their ruler fighting alongside them would give them more strength to fight. 

That decision had come as a double-edged sword, whilst it was true that the soldiers fought more valiantly with you in the ranks reminding them why they were fighting. It was also true that it brought you great anxiety when you realised that you didn’t know what was happening to Namor. For all you know he could’ve been dead or dying when fighting against Shuri. 

You knew better than to underestimate the woman. She may be much younger than both you and your husband, but she held the experience of someone double her age. Coupled with the loss she had experienced at the hands of your husband? It’s only natural that she’d fight fiercer than anything both you and your husband have seen so far. 

She was dangerous. You know that. 

The entire time you fought, feeling your blade clash together with the spears of the Wakandan soldiers, the only thing on your mind was to get this done quickly so you may be of assistance to Namor, your king, your husband. Nothing could’ve described the insane amount of thankfulness that rushed to you when you saw him and Shuri standing side by side on that ship. 

When he forced everyone to back down, unlike your people, the first thing you thought about was quickly dispelling your people. You’ve faced enough losses today, you’ve seen one too many of your subjects be killed in front of your eyes. You will not squander this chance of mercy Shuri has granted your king just because of pettiness. 

But just like in the war, once you were back in your underwater kingdom you were once more separated. As general, Attuma, a very close friend and confidant to you, pulled you aside to talk about the casualties and his overall rage at Namor’s decision. 

“Would you rather he die?” you asked in an exasperated manner towards Attuma when you saw the way his face still held anger. You knew where he was coming from, both your people and you have trained practically every day for this day to come. For the day that the people above waged war. To know and accept that the first battle in that war was lost to you, was hard to swallow. 

But it was something you had to swallow, and you’ll force everyone else fighting by your side to swallow as well. As selfish as it sounds, you’d rather lose a hundred battles than lose your husband. 

“There are strategic reasons why this is adventageous for both of us. If K’ul’kukan had killed Shuri it would’ve crippled Wakanda as a nation, yes! But that would mean they no longer have anything to lose! Did you see how many of us they were able to kill? What do you think will happen when they lose their pillar? More cassualties will follow, and Wakanda is greater as an ally than an enemy.”

It was true you were rather frustrated at the turn of events, but now that you were away from the battleground and had some time to think. There was an advantage to losing and being spared after all. Advantages that would not show their true colours until later on. When Attuma looks unconvinced you turned your head. It’s useless trying to move an immovable rock. 

“Enough, remember who you are talking to Attuma.” Despite fighting on the same front you were quick to remind Attuma of his manners and the respect he should show you as his ruler, “I am tired of the fighting and I want to see my husband. Now leave me be, if you have anything to discuss about, Namora will take my stead.” 

Attuma seemed as if he was about to say something, but he quickly shut up when you pointed a sharp glare in his direction. “Of course, your highness, forgive my disrespect.”

“You are forgiven, now go.” 

When Attuma left the room you’re in, a room decorated from wall to wall with war strategies, statistics, and the like, you quickly left as well. The water could not carry you fast enough to the cavern that held your chambers with your husband. The only time you were able to see him was with Shuri on that ship, and even then he looked rough. 

You could only guess how many injuries he actually sustained during the battle. 

Finally setting foot on the cavern you practically ran to your shared chambers. As you slammed the door open, his attendants and the doctors around him jumped at the sight of their ruler. 

“Thank you for tending to my husband, you may now leave.” You quickly masked your panic as you realised the other people in the room. 

Namor looked at you with an unreadable gaze, sitting on a chair, his attendants surrounded him fussing about his wounds, massaging him with oils to ease his muscles, and two doctors worked at once to heal the wounds on his body and wrap the bandage around his ankle. “Your highness, we haven’t fully bandaged the king yet-”

“No matter, I will do that myself, now leave.” The doctor that spoke to you quickly nodded and stood up before urging his partner to leave with him. 

Not long after that the attendants soon left as well after tidying up their tools. 

In quick succession the moment they left the room you dropped to your knees in front of your King. Grabbing the bandage that the doctor left behind and slowly finishing dressing the wound on his ankle where Shuri ripped off his wings. 

You were silent and gentle when your hands slowly placed down the bandage once you realised the bandage on his ankle was already bled through. Namor didn’t speak when you slowly pulled the bandages away, showing the gash. He didn’t even wince when you placed medicine on the open wound. 

The only thing he did was watched as you meticulously cleaned and dressed his most damning wound. His silence was due to how he thought you felt. Here you were on your knees in front of him, showing him your subservience and yet he wasn’t able to win just a simple fight. He assumed you felt disappointed in him. 

The king of Talocan himself, a god in his own right, not being able to win a fight against a princess not even an eighth of his age? He felt great shame facing you right now. To any of his subjects, he would’ve told them about Shuri’s fighting spirit. How she was incredible on the battlefield. 

But to you? He can’t say anything. 

There were no excuses that would leave his mouth if you were to ask why it was that he lost. 

He had placed you on the front lines, you could’ve died and he wouldn’t have been able to avenge you. How can he call himself your husband if he can’t even do that? 

Buried in his own self-loathing thoughts Namor didn’t realise that you were done bandaging his ankle. His train of thought was only stopped when he felt your warm lips against his own. 

His eyes widened as he realised what was happening. Why were you kissing him? He was unworthy of your love, your touch, your kindness right now. When he didn’t kiss back you pulled away. 

“My love.” You whispered placing your forehead against his. “I was, so scared.” Namor was just about to apologise for putting you in such a dangerous position, thinking you were scared of having to fight the Wakandan army. 

But the moment he sees the tears leaving your eyes and the way your hands so delicately placed themselves on top of his chest covered in bruises and marks. He realised you were scared for him. At that point, he had nothing else to say. 

Did he seem so weak that you were worried for him? How unworthy was he truly for your love? You, a warrior, a deity in your own right. 

“Please stop thinking,” it was as if you could practically hear his self-loathing thoughts. “Stop thinking, just- just look at me.” One of your hands left his chest and went to angle his chin upwards to face you. 

You stood taller than him right now with him seated and you standing next to him. This way Namor could truly see how worried you were. “It killed me inside not knowing if you were winning the fight or not.” You finally croaked out in between your tears. 

Namor, finally breaking from his spell, grabbed both your hands, slowly lifting them and giving your knuckles long kisses. “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m sorry for failing.” 

“Hush, I couldn’t care less about any of that right now. I’m just glad you’re here with me.” Then and there silence wrapped the two of you in its warm embrace. 

Though neither you nor your husband felt cold often, to be in each other’s presence, basking in the silence and comfort of just existing together felt warmer than anything else in the world. His hands slowly caress your own. Both of you with your closed eyes and touching foreheads. There was nothing else more calming in this world than this moment right here. 

When you remembered Namor was still fresh off the battlefield you pulled away from his touch, leaving him to slightly reach for your skin. “Patience, my king. Let me take care of you.” A hint of mischievousness lined your voice at that moment. 

Seeing s how the tension was slowly melting away, Namor only grinned and watched you intently as you walked behind his chair towards the table holding numerous oils. Picking one bottle up, he chuckled once he realised what you were going to do. 

“Is something the matter, my king?” the edge in your Mayan only made Namor’s grin widen. “No, no, please continue. Serve your king.” he teased. 

It was your turn now to smile at his words, all before going towards him and pouring some of the oil on his back and your hands. Slowly you pressed the palm of your hand on his back. You’ve done this plenty of times to both your king and your soldiers as a way to ease their tense muscles after battles to know what you were doing. 

But no matter how many times you’ve done it with Namor, every time it still feels intimate. He practically melts against your touch as you pushed your hands to knead away the knots in his back and body in general. 

You smiled as you watched the way Namor eased. You wished you could truly describe to him the amount of awe you had for him. Though you aged slower than most humans and mutants alike, you haven’t lived half of Namor’s lifetime. You couldn’t imagine what it was like to be him those days when he was alone. 

To be a king at such a young age, to be a god to a people for such a long time. Such burdens materialise in the way his muscles ached and tensed. 

But now with your skilled hands, you release all of that tension. 

Despite this, you were still quite cheeky, as you couldn’t help but speak when Namor kept lowly groaning at the pleasure of your hands on his back. “Is this that enjoyable my king?” you know he’s used to your jests, but what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up. 

The sudden action caused you to jump and he took that opportunity to lift you off your feet before dropping you down on your shared bed. 

“K’ul’kukan!” you yelled out entertainingly when Namor crawled on top of you, placing his body weight on both his hands and knees he looked down at your now flushed face as you looked up at him. “It was very enjoyable, I think I should return the favour, no?” 

A grin made its way to his lips as he began to lean down to your neck and pepper light kisses. Despite your clear enjoyment of what he was doing, seen by the way you were craning your neck to give him more access, you half-heartedly pushed him away. “Your wounds are still fresh K’ul’kukan! They’re going to reopen if you keep doing this.” 

He only hummed in response against your skin, his teeth slowly grazing and nibbling on the soft flesh of your neck. “Your doctors are going to be mad at me.” You tried to reason with him. 

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m the king remember?” You swear he’s only teasing you, but Gods was his voice the most sultry thing in the world right now. 

Slowly through his soft touches and kisses, you began to forget that you were supposed to be worried about his well-being. “I was scared of you too.” he whispered so quietly against your skin. 

At that moment, you realised why he was doing this. It wasn’t because he wanted to say thank you for massaging him. Maybe that did play a part, but the reason he was now praising your body as if you were a temple was that he was scared. 

He was terrified about your own safety. Now that you were in his arms, words failed to describe how happy he was. And when words fail, actions speak louder. 

So, you stopped struggling and let your king, your husband, your God, make you feel like a deity.

Hi! I know this isn't REALLY what you asked for but I just couldn't get this out of my head! I hope you enjoy this either way though! But if you'd still like me to make a lazy day fic for Namor I can totally do that!!! <3

[shmothman]

J K L NSFW PLZ THX FWEN

I still need to watch Trigun to understand your husband but in the meantime I wanna help you continue to be insane and indulgent 🩵

Ava you’re LITERALLY my hero thank u for enabling me. Also watch Trigun.

SFW/NSFW Alphabet Prompts

(Vash/Reader)

NSFW below the cut. 18+ only.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Whatever the level of experience you see him as having, the vast majority of Vash’s sexual escapades over the past century-plus years have been solo. Most of the time, Vash is honestly too depressed to jack off much—especially during the events of canon—but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do it; it’s a physical need for him, same as any other (and, unfortunately, he’s prone to self-denial of all of his physical and emotional needs when he’s really down). Still, he sees people he thinks are attractive, and sometimes, he allows himself to want. Carefully, doing his best not to get too hung up on emotion—he knows he can’t have the love that he so badly yearns for—he thinks of them that night, lets himself imagine the hands of the kind bartender, or the smile of the stable hand, dips his fingers between his legs and jolts—it’s been a while, and he’s so sensitive. Even when he tries to draw it out, he can’t last long, and there are usually tears pricking at his eyes by the time that he comes, sticky and tired and, if he’s being honest, sad.

When he meets you though, everything changes. Not only does his sex drive spike wildly (which I’ll save for D), but his fantasies are in overdrive, like he’s making up for over a century of lost time. He just can’t find relief, you wind him up like a coiled spring with the most innocent brush of your hand against his, and he replays it a thousand times that night in his room, muffling himself with a pillow as he strokes himself—slow at first, but losing composure quickly. What he could once emotionally distance himself from he finds himself far too enmeshed in now: he can’t touch himself without imagining your voice saying I love you; saying good boy, and come for me. He imagines your hands, your mouth; imagines himself inside you and it’s too much, always too much—your name on his lips as he falls apart. Vash wants more than he’s ever wanted, and he’s convinced that he can’t allow himself to have it. So this—his fantasies, the things he does as soon as he’s alone—is all he’s going to get.

Until you prove otherwise, of course.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

HO BOY YES. What kinks DOESN’T he have.

Vash’s number one kink is True Love, your pleasure being enough to get him surprisingly close, devoting everything he has to making sure you’re never left wanting. However he can please you, he will; whatever you ask for, he’ll provide. He’s singleminded in his purpose: he simply wants to learn your body as well as he knows his own—perhaps even better—just so he can wring every possible ounce of pleasure from you, every time. He wants to hold your hands as he thrusts into you, wants to mold himself to your body and be one with you in every possible way. He loves you, and that’s the thing that riles him up most of all.

This kink of his is, of course, followed very closely by praise of any kind. Please call him your good boy, tell him how pretty he is, he’s dying; tell him he’s doing so well for you, whether he’s giving or taking, and he’ll combust. And if you praise him for his kindness? His conviction? If you call him amazing and incredible and wonderful? It’s the sweetest validation he can receive—you’re his everything: the kindest, most wonderful person he’s ever met, so if you think he’s good, then there must be a truth to it, right? Puppyplay stems from this, too: he wants to obey you, be good for you, so that you’ll say it to him—the collar’s just a bonus to remind himself that he’s yours.

He also really likes being tied up and teased, edged and denied—well, likes may not be the right word; it’s sweet torture, to have you bring him so close and not let him have it, again and again until he’s sobbing and begging and pleading, binding him and not even letting him touch you. But the buildup is too good, the catharsis in it, the way you so gently wipe his tears and tell him just a little longer, you’ll let him have what he wants soon. He’d let you keep him on that precipice forever, if you wanted to; let you tease him until he can’t think of anything but how much he needs to come, until he can’t think of anything at all. He loves the edge just as much as he loves the release, and he loves the glint of mischief in your eyes most of all; the predatory promise of your smile. Overstimulation goes hand and hand with it all, the dangerous pleasure of I’ll let you come, but then you’re going to keep coming for me until you can’t anymore. It makes him sob and writhe and gasp for air, but oh, it’s such a wonderful sort of too much. By the end of it, he’ll be begging you to stop—though of course he knows he just has to say one little word and you’ll stop immediately.

He isn’t human, and just for fun, I give him a better sense of smell than most: your scent is intoxicating to him, and he’ll breathe you in (discreetly) at every chance he gets. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: vash the stampede sniffs panties. He also likes goofy roleplay: pretending you’ve captured him, or he’s captured you, or you’re meeting for the first time at a seedy bar—though he can’t keep himself from voicing how much he loves you, so staying in character becomes difficult the second that pleasure is involved. He tends toward voyeurism, too—he likes to watch you, especially when you call his name and talk to him, tease him for enjoying the view (and there’s a denial in this, too: he wants so badly to touch you, to be the one brining you all that pleasure). Really, he’s into whatever you’re into, however you want him to touch you: you want to be blindfolded? Tied up? Edged? Tickled? Yes, absolutely, he’s already hard. And, legally, I can’t ignore his canon (in blr) foot fetish. He’ll try to be sly about it but… the man wants to touch ‘em. Sue him. Finally, although it may be controversial, and it’s not my thing so I’m not gonna be the one to explore this further… I think he’d be kinda into cucking.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Call him a bit vanilla, but he prefers your bed. Especially if you live together, have a home to return to that’s yours—he will carry you there so proudly and happily every single night, and there’s truly no place he’d rather be. Until then, though, your room at the inn, or wherever you’re staying, is perfect for him—it’s just the two of you, and he likes being able to let go and be noisy, to lay you down and really look at you and take things slow.

This isn’t to say he won’t fuck you wherever you want him to, though—couch, floor, against the wall, bent over the table, outside under the stars in your sleeping bag… even in a closet, if need be. If you get him riled up enough, he’ll take you just about anywhere (though he isn’t much for public or semi-public sex, and he’d much prefer to drag you somewhere more private).

[transguydeuce]

queer twst headcanons pt 7: diasomnia

OKAY HOLD ON TO YOUR PANTS THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG FUCKIN POST

first. we must establish fae genderisms.

(if you wanna just scroll to the headcanons for the lads tho feel free)

i think fae have around 3 “sexes”. i say “around 3” “sexes” bc science has proven repeatedly that sex is way more complicated than it seems lol. anyway i think fae have majority intersexed individuals with some female and some male. this definitely means that there’s not really a gender binary to trans around in, and fae don’t have the same concepts of trans and cisgender that we do. plus the fact that most fae, including both male and female (which here i’m referring purely to whether they produce egg or sperm) have a range of traits that are traditionally viewed by humans as gendered aka breasts, external/internal genitalia, etc. i would say body hair also but tbh i don’t think they have any, baul’s beard looks more like scales or horns to me and unless i’m wrong i don’t think we’ve ever seen a fae with body hair.

i would almost hesitate to say that fae are mammalian but they do have some hair as well as boobs (thank u meleanor for screwing w my fae biology headcanon /j) and it’s also known that they r capable of creating hybrid offspring w humans so they have to be closely related enough to humans to do that so they are mammals, my thought is just that they have adapted to live in environments with higher magic. that’s why they’re typically more magically gifted yet it’s more dangerous for them to be without it (cough cough glomas cough cough) ALSO. BECAUSE THEY LAY EGGS, FAE ARE BASICALLY MONOTREMES. HAVE FUN WITH THAT.

anyway it's impossible to tell what bits a fae has just from looking at them. so they don’t really get assigned a gender at birth and therefore they don’t really have the same concepts of cis and trans that we do. personally, i hc that "he" is the default gender-neutral pronoun most fae use. that is all thank you for your time now ON TO THE HEADCANONS

malleus: personally hc him as intersex :) doesn’t really understand human concepts of gender, but is curious about it since arriving at night raven. he doesn’t really know what an “all boys” school is especially because some of his classmates r definitely not all boy. (he thinks that’s neat though.) dressed masculine primarily for convenience and would have no complaints wearing a gown. he/him pronouns bc it's the default fae pronoun and that’s what he grew up with but after interacting more with humans he enjoys a she or they from time to time. gender is like a fascinating human custom to him. also i love the hc that he’s pan bc he’s attracted to player character regardless of gender so i’m sticking to that

sebek: [just insert the entire knuckles pronouns comic here]

ok all jokes aside he uses he/him as well, and thinks that that’s the default for everyone. the most important human in his young life was his dad who is also he/him so naturally sebek gets very confused when humans have more than one gender. most likely finds out more after asking about why epel doesn’t like being mistook for a girl (uh oh) he concludes he must be a guy cuz he’s big and strong (epel what have you done). i don’t really have a read on sebek’s sexuality and i don’t think he does either tbh.

lilia: THEE genderqueer just look at him. she is genderfuck incarnate. he’s on that immortal vampire gender. he’s on that ftmtftmtftmtftmtf type shit. a different pronoun set each day. throw some neopronouns in and stir the pot. basically he’s genderfluid. gendergas even. she’s traveled all around the world, if you think he didn’t pick up all the different genders like a crow hoarding shiny objects you would be wrong. if you ask them directly they’d probably say their gender is gamer (to be hip with the kids). also a bisexual king and definitely had a thing for meleanor and her husband there is no doubt in my mind.

silver: well he was raised by lilia so….. afab doesn’t really apply to him. he grew up in briar valley and was never assigned a gender besides the default pronoun “he”. when he’s older lilia probably teaches him a bit about human culture and asks silver what he feels like doing and i think he’d most likely go on t, partially for gender feels and also partially to build muscle mass and be a better royal guard lmao. his gender is knight boyprincess. no i shall not explain. i think he’s sex-neutral grey ace that’s just the vibes i get from him

[tommyssupercoolblog]

HI i'm a tommyinnit factive and this is where I go feral !!! I have a misce submission sideblog called @justomegathingss as well but it's mostly inactive because no one ever submits to it lol

I co-host with my in system husband @septiccoffeefreak so we're in front 90% of the time, we're v clingy so we're always co-con or co front lol. I also write septicinnit fanfic w him and I draw fanart so,,,, both posts w us specifically and the general septicinnit RPF ship will be here. u've been warned!!

I have no DNI but I block freely!! I also am pro RPF and proship ("ship and let ship") so like,, if u wanna block me about that u should do dat- I don't post dark content really or consume it because I don't like to personally?? so that won't be on my blog!!! But it's worth noting I support people's right to MAKE that content, and i don't think someone making or consuming dark content means they condone it IRL.

BLOG NAVIGATION (these links may not work on mobile- app users can use search instead):

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my old pinned (colourful!!! silly!!! beloved!!! but hard to read and even longer than this one) is under the cut for preservation

OK INTRO POST WHEE!!!!!!

Hewwo besties. hello girliepops. hello boys, hello gamers, hello homestuckers and evil little creatures it is me!!!! hi!!! HELLO hi hi hi!!!! a million hellos forever and ever and....

okay fine sorry, just one last hi: hi!! I'm a Tommyinnit factive in a system and I do art sometimes!! I also play a lot of animal crossing like way too much animal crossing like my autism has me in a chokehold i play it everyday. I use he/him pronouns :3. and I am MARRIED.

My husband, Seán, is a Jacksepticeye factive in the same system as me!! we cohost/cocon together and I love him SO MUCH and I infodump about him and his source sometimes so. BE WARNEDED!!!! his acc is @septiccoffeefreak if you want to go acknowledge how fucking cool and awesome he is which you SHOULD!!! We came up with the septicinnit shipname actually!!! And write the first fics for it!! So understandably I am absolutely FERAL about it like biting clawing going insane feral. my babygirl...

I don't hold myself to a blog theme but I tend to post a lot of decora and cutesy rainbow things on this blog, as well as memes and videos I found on my feed!!! and sometimes!!! if ur lucky!!! I post an omegaverse post!!! (check out @justomegathingss for more as well) or like an actual hot take on the universe!!! though again usually it is just reblogs of sanrio characters and decora fits lol. I also of course post a ton of my art and some original posts where I go feral about something or other and scream really really loud to my terrified (but intrigued and entranced) followers. expect the unexpected. be prepared for chaos

I have no DNI for my blog, but I will block u if I decide that having you unblocked makes my internet experience sucky in some way. this is my little corner of the internet an i will customize it in whatever silly way makes my brain go brrrr

The Magical Special Poggers Tags, with which you can Navigate my Blog:

#Tommy's OG ART wow - art i made!

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If I reblog something without any art or text attached at all, that's gonna be untagged (usefully, anyway)- but I figure if you're hunting through my blog for a post it's probably not a blank reblog anyway.

For more information about me and links to my other socials, look at my Caard, Tommyfactive.carrd.co !!! it has a bunch or really poggers info and links to my pintrest and stuff so like u should totally look at it. U might get coolness poisioning from how cool I am though /j

Commission information Here!!

Printify Store here!!!!!

[stxrmylxve]

Ran (p2 of 2)

If you don’t remember… :

@tenjikusstuff: omg i never requested anyone i just don't know how request work...but like. ANYTHING with Ran makes my knees week. From the most angsty thing to the most fluff thoot sweet one. I just love him THAT much. And same gors for Hanma fucking Shuji. These beanpoles have my heart attached to strings.

So basically I saw an alphabet thing where people did every letter for something regarding a character? Idk if that makes sense lol but here’s where I got credit from; (sfw) (nsfw)

A - Aftercare This poor man. He switches from ruthless to being the most worrisome man in the world. You might doze off, but you will wake up to food and water and be wrapped up in a blanket while he lies cold behind you.

B - Bff Similar to how he is as a bf, I think he would worry 24/7. He knew you were a little oblivious at times and couldn't help but hope no one bothered you while he was away from you.

C - Cum (legit so awkward to write this cause its interesting to describe lol) He has a bit of a shitty diet so this reflects that lol. It's more clear than anything else and sticks to legit everything. Still enjoyable to take in LOL

D - Domestic (settling down) If you were ready, he would be too. He likes to cook, especially with you, and wouldn't mind taking on the house-husband role outside of work.

E - Experience Might seem like big shit but is probably truly learning with you, prove me wrong. He might have a club, see ladies, and get bitches all the time, but sex? No clue.

F - Favorite Position Cowgirl's helper is a yes along with leapfrog. I think just anything to where he could see your body react to him would be fine. These are only 2 out of many though.

G - Gentleness SO GENTLE. GENTLEMAN. If you have a headache and you're into brushing your hair to relieve stress, you bet he is going to do it for you. Have stuff in your hands? He's taking them and walking in the door, he doesn't care if it's heavy, he's taking them.

H - Hugs? It might weird him out at first, but if you do it enough, he will ask for them every day almost.

I - Intimacy Not romantic enough to have music playing or anything, but he might light your favorite candle and take a bath with you...

J - Jealousy If it's in one of his places, and he owns a lot, he will get mad and fire any employee that looks you up and down.

K - Kiss No brainer, sucker for kisses. And if you pull his hair slightly? He's gone, buckling, like legit crumbles.

L - Location (to do it) Private places like the bedroom, not into others watching in public if he doesn't know them. Ultimately your choice tbh.

M - Mornings (with them) You can't tell me he isn't the one man we wish to wake up to. Messy bedhead hair, raspy voice, does the stomach scratch thing that reveals the slightest below the belt... AH

N - No’s (turnoffs) When a person doesn't care for themselves and/or their s/o bugs Ran sm. Also just not being a good person. Like sure, he smokes some, yeah, but he's not rude to people or bothered if someone tries to make small talk if they haven't done anything?

O - Oral (giving, receive) Opposite of Hanma, better with the mouth than with the fingers. Legit almost chokes on air if you give it to him.

P - Patience Surprisingly patient. Wants shit done but can wait if it's necessary.

Q - Quickies Perfectly fine with them. Although it's normally just a name since he likes to take his time and it turns into an hour in the bathroom instead of a few minutes.

R - Risks He's risky all the time. Like mentioned above, a little clueless when it comes to the deed so you might need to explain the quote 'risk' before he goes at it.

S - Security Cares about you SO MUCH. Ran >>>> bodyguard

T - Toys? He has them. They're still in the packaging.

U - Ugly Habits He has a bad habit of forgetting things. Important things. It could be a simple meeting, or it could be a bigger thing like forgetting to eat.

V - Volume Loud af. Doesn't really care if someone hears, but you're equally as vocal so... guttural moans every time with praises.

W - Would they be whole without you? Absolutely not. He would beat himself up, even if it wasn't his fault you left him. If he left you, it would only ever be because it was for your safety.

X - X-ray Girthy and 5-6 inches. Cute little mushroom top :)

Y - Yearning Depends. If he has been tired for the past week due to work, begs you for a taste. Ordinarily, honestly could care less if it's not important to you either. If you ask, ofc he will. But won't outright be desperate like when he is tired.

Z - Zzz Sleep for so long. IDK WHY HE IS SO TIRED??? Maybe it's just a bad sleeping habit that became a habit, he will sleep in most days and be late to work.

[nikaizkool]

dude the fact you’ve done 3 of my request makes u a chad fr 😎😎✊🏻 AJAJA SO I HAVE ANOTHER ONE TEJEJE so i just heard “just a friend to you” by megan something idk 😪 and like when i heard that somg i thought it would be cute if u did quackity and reader have a friendship and they’re both into eachother but reader is like dumb and doesnt see the signs and makes quackity like doubt himself? idk dawg 🤧🤧‼️‼️ LISTEN TO THE SONG AND IT WILL MAKE SENCE 😚😚😚☝🏻☝🏻 and like u can make it fluff or angst 😽😽kk bye bye ily 🫢❤️

Anything for you pook ❤️ ALSO IMFG YES I LIVE THIS PROMPT

Day two of trying to write this

Idk I can’t think I’ve decided to settle on vidcon theme it’s bad but good enough when I’ve restarted 3 times,

Love, nikaizkool.

J HATE THIS SO MUCH OMG EW I HATE IT K SWEAR TO GOD IT MAKES ME GO BRAKSB DEAD WVERYTIME I REREAD HELP

Me and Karl walked into the hotel where me and my friends would be staying. “Where are they?” I ask him looking around.

“Maybe they already checked into their rooms.” He walked to the front desk asking for our keys while I stood on my phone scrolling through TikTok. “Cmon Y/n.” He grabs my arm and we skip up the stairs

“So I’m with Alex and Charlie and wil? And your with Tina niki and Hannah?”

“Yeah they’re gonna paint my nails—you can hang out with us till your tired and if you fall asleep I’ll send Charlie over to come get you” I nod as I look at my hotel door

“This one?” Karl nods and walks into his room, I unlock the door and open it to see three men vlogging “hey guys” I walk into the room and jump at everyone.

“Hello Y/n” wil greets me hugging my back trapping me in a tight hug pulling me down to the ground

“Hey Y/n” Charlie pats my head giving me a smile. Alex just kinda looked at me grinning

“AY MI PUTA ESPOSA” [my fucking wife] he shouts dragging me out of wils arms hugging me tight.

“I missed you too” I smile kissing his forearm blushing lightly. “I’m gonna say hi to the the others” I stood up opened the door and skipped to the other side of the hall knocking the door greeting everyone with a big hug kissing niki on the cheek “I haven’t seen you guys in forever my gosh.”

“Y/n you’ve gotten so big, omg it’s almost like your as old as us” Tina teases winking at me. “I miss being 21 and having my first legal drink” she looks at me grinning.

“Yep love you too” I smile lightly kissing her hand I said bye to all of them and walked back into my room. As I stepped foot in the room Alex hugged me and lifted me up spinning me around. “I was gone for less than 15 minutes?” He grins

“I know, I’m just guiding you back out, wil and Charlie are hungry so we’re gonna get them food.” He turn to wil and gives him a thumbs up.

“Alright— uhm if we go to McDonald’s Donald’s can we blog in the play place? You’ve got a cute face I’m sure we won’t get in trouble if we went in” he smiles nervously and nods. “I wasn’t lying about the cute part”

“Yeah of course” he takes my hand and we start walking to mcdonalds. “Y/n your awesome really”

“You are too Alex your honestly the most bestest friend I’ve ever had” he looks at me with a shocked frown (😦)

“Yeah, your my best friend too” me and Alex are just friends and I don’t know why I can’t except it. It’s so unfair that we can’t date. If I ask him out it may ruin our friendship and then I’ll have no more friends because my friends are his friends and— “mlady” Alex bows and giggles holding the door open for me i thank him and look at my phone

I sigh and walk up to the counter, “two happy meals, one Big Mac with fries and 10 piece chicken nuggets with 4 large cups please”

“Ordering for a family?” I nod

“Sorta.”

“That’s your husband or boyfriend I assume?” I shrug

“I like him but I don’t think he likes me”

“Look he’s staring at you, he’s giving you the look of love.” She does that one spongeboob gesture (imagination) and she laughs

“Right” I grin as she hands me the food “how much?” I take out my wallet and start counting

“25.74$ ma’am” I nod giving her a 20 and a 10 she smiles and looks at Alex “if he don’t want you I do girly”

“Have a good one” she nods and me and Alex leave and start our walk back

“So what did you and the cashier talk about?”

“She was asking if we were married or dating but when I told her we’re best friends she understood” Alex sighs and covers his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Y/n why don’t you get it? I’m inlove with you. I like you. I want to date you. I think your cute and amazing and every time you say dumb shit like “oh yeah we’re best friends” it breaks my fucking heart” he looks at me teary eyed

“Alex—I love you too. I’ve just been worried you didn’t feel the same but you are my everything I love you. every second I spend thinking of you makes my day so much better” I smile reaching for his hand “you are my world Alex I love you more than anything.” He sighs and grabs my hand while we walk side by side. When we make it back to the hotel Wilbur was already asleep and Charlie was no where to be seen.

“I guess we’ll eat this tomorrow then.”

[https-furina]

spoilers for neuvillette’s story quest (completed) utc so be mindful if you’re only like halfway through that i’m gonna talk abt the ending !!

HELLO I AM SCREAMING okay so from the moment where sedene is like “a melusine is being threatened and monsieur neuvillette wants to investigate the case himself!!!” i was like OKAY FATHER I SEE YOU PROTECTING UR CHILDREN 🤭🤭

and then kiara ?!!! is so fucking cute i love her so much but the whole time i was like )): ofc the melusines are discriminated against but its so sad - then she called paimon big sis and i was instantly like ((: happi

charlotte cameo !! hi to the fontainian yanfei /j i got so excited i was like OMG CHARLOTTE !! but then she’s talking abt wanting to interview neuvillette but the palais always said no and i’m like we’re friends with him we could just ask him for u 🤨

the whole time talking to charlotte i was like GUYS we’re supposed to be protecting kiara what if something happens while we’re gone 😭 but then there was CLORINDE AND I SCREAMED

talking abt how she regularly gets her clothes custom made by eloffe and i’m like ma’am you need new ones asap that button is gonna pop any time now- 🌚

the entire experience at the fountain had me crying. from seeing carole with neuvillette to seeing carole be a victim of hate crime (something that indescribably familiar and made me both so angry to see (on her behalf) and also upset…) to vautrin’s mild anger when he realised carole had sacrificed herself just for peace ): he saw his deceased little sister in her and so he made the decision to execute everyone who had wronged carole… fucking in tears the whole time

not to mention neuvillette losing carole (which he must have felt guilt for because he’s the one who brought her to the court in the first place) but then he had to do vautrin’s trial for murdering people as an act of revenge and he followed the law and had to say he was guilty even though he was the only person left who was closest to him ?!

and then we get navia ?!?! content i was like damn hoyo is whipping out the GIRLS FOR THIS STORY HUH !!! i screamed when she said spina di rosula were helping !! i was like damn you two are the cutest now after she screamed her feelings at you and you stood at a grave together 🤭

also no one is talking about how he feels emotions from every single aspect of water; the rivers, the rain, everything. this man must be so incredibly overwhelmed by the constant surge of a complete stranger’s emotions..

ALSO EVERYONE DEFENDING THE MELUSINES AND STAYING CLOSE TO THEM AND PROTECTING THEM AND NEUVILLETTE WAS SEEING IT ALL DESPITE HIS FEARS AND I SOBBED

smuggling case 🤨 yeah we read smth on that monsieur ! *hurried tippytaps back to the palais while wiping my tears* and then navia found smth ?! MA’AM HOW QUICK DO THE SPINA DI ROSULA WORK- fucking underground mob asses /j

and then 🌚 we’re going to the fortress?! and i gasped and got so excited like omg we’re going to my husband’s office 🥰🥰 and the way he greeted us and paimon was like “we’re back!” I LAUGHED SO LOUD

wriothesley hinting at using physical force on the dude threatening melusines and i literally looked at my screen like

but then neuvillette was like “wriothesley.” and i was like LMAOOO WE HAD THE SAME REACTION NEUVI 😭😭 sorry for my husband we forget hes a FUCKING CRIMINAL TOO.

had the biggest BURST OF JOY SEEING SIGEWINNE THATS MY BABY MY SWEET ANGEL MY EVERYTHING AAAAA 💙

when we were talking to the members of the mutual aid network and they mentioned their first president from over four hundred years ago and i sat here with the saddest expression like “vautrin?? 🥹” bc the badges were designed after the medal of peace badges ):

GOING BACK TO WRIO’S OFFICE

sir had the audacity to stand there looking sooooo fucking hot in the centre of the room like hello i’m !!!?!!!?? i’ll have dinner on the table wrio i swear

i literally zoned this part out staring at wrio and giggling over him folding his arms across his chest 🥰

neuvillette learning from wrio that vautrin didn’t hate him and i just… sobbing loudly. the whole story i was just sobbing over neuvillette feeling as though he is an outsider even in today’s society but the society had reformed from that of four hundred years ago and it had reformed around him. like he is the centre of fontaine now, he’s their chief justice, the iudex- god i cried again

also wrio offering tea i swear to god husband i’m 😭😭 i would have had tea with you i promise but there was no option )):

taking that walk with neuvillette and LUMINE ACTUALLY SPOKE I SAT UP SO QUICK LIKE OH KY GOD NO ONLY IS IT THE MOST MEANINGFUL THING SAID BUT SHE ACTUALLY SAID IT TO HIM

the cutscene !!!! officially one of my favourites in the entire game 🥹 (alongside the wriothesley one in the archon quest with clorinde, neuvillette’s archon quest one and kokomi’s arrival in the archon quest) when it started raining and the kid came out to say hydro dragon hydro dragon don’t cry !! ):

and lumine and paimon smiling at him and he smiles too and the rain clears up (that shot of the sun coming out over the opera was GORGEOUS i’m so impressed with how much genshin’s graphics have improved since launch!!) and the PUDDLES ON THE GROUND !!!!

charlotte finally getting that interview she wants so badly scheduled and she’s so excited and thanks him !!! and then just all three women stood there together ?? i took photos of them ofc omg navia and clorinde together- but if you talk to them and charlotte is basically fangirling and clorinde is just like “just write all your questions now, he’ll decline all the ones he can’t answer so it’s worth a shot anyways” 🥹

KIARA SLEEPING !!! crying he’s such a parent to them i cannot

and then FINALLY the reply note to his absence note on his desk from furina!!! my wife had her cameo <3 in the sweetest of ways, asking if he’d finally woke up and decided to go outside and he should follow her footsteps more and do it more often - and that it doesn’t matter if something bad happens because you’ll meet plenty of characters along the way

and if you talk to him behind his desk he’s like “what am i supposed to do with her” 🥹🥹🥹

for the record i will be vocal stimming furina’s “oh me, oh my” in that reply note for the rest of eternity <3

i’m so forreal that this is my favourite story quest ever, perhaps because i could relate to it but it also shows that in my opinion not a single fontaine character hates the other as of right now. lyney specifically has no bad blood with anyone; he seems to clear it up with wriothesley and sigewinne in the archon quest but having clorinde, navia and charlotte together talking just like a group of friends and they all came together on their own accord to help neuvillette and even furina’s cameo in her reply note shows that she has some assortment of care for his wellbeing and how he shuts himself away. it was incredibly heartwarming to have each fontaine character have a cameo in some form and other than arlecchino telling the fontaine siblings to keep an eye on neuvillette, they all had positive interactions and intentions.

i’m sorry but fontaine is my favourite and it will always be my favourite, nothing can top the amount of love i have for neuvillette’s story quest. that was the best thing that’s ever happened in this game <3

[lady-lazagna]

i hope u dont mind me throwing in three little guys for thr oc ask

ashton vita and acec >:3

I mind very much how DARE you >:0 /j

I’ll start with our resident Filipino legend Acec since he’s in the same timeline as my gang. Xe’s a very OuO guy, so I think at first Ash and Kylie would be a bit put off, maybe try but struggle to hold conversations with him. They may eventually they warm up to him when they realise xe is just A Guy and not a changling of some kind. But fellow autism Madina knows there’s no need for flowing conversations when you have funny little pictures to share. They’d hit it off best with their simultaneous lack of seriousness and genuine sincerity. They snoop around team Dungeon collecting The Goss. They sit quietly and watch mcyt videos for hours on end, eyes dead and legs bouncing. Madina would pick him up and swing him around like Mario swinging Gay Bowser. Also they both like beautiful men. Maybe they can double date and re-introduce Tsubasa and Bao to each other, since they definitely do not remember each other at all. God bless amercia o7

Trucker Dave is the person who’s most likely to know Vita and the crew since he's Coach Steel’s husband. Idk if Steel’s still the main coach in the Zero Era but ain’t no way he’s out of there completely, so Dave still passes through from time to time. And if he notices a kid having a rough time, he'll try to offer a bit of Queer Trucker Wisdom. With Vita being the leader of her team and also queer, it's likely Dave could notice her going through some Stuff and give some good ol' advice, maybe let her pet his dog while she vents a bit. They both seem to have very calming and trusting presences so I think they'd get on quite well.

Now, ASHANTI. Ash would LOVE Vita. In her time, she was the only female team leader in the championships, so seeing an up-and-coming female team leader would be absolutely delightful. At that point she's also a beyblading coach, so maybe she could reach out and give some advice? Offer some training or even a mentorship if she can stand being in the US for that long? They're both sort of "older sister" figures, so she could also help Vita navigate the feelings that come with that (also them combined with Aria and Kylie?? Slay).

The Birrung girls would see Ashton Angsto and think "man aren't we glad we had no dudes on our team" or maybe "wow the kids these days have problems. we had problems once." But they don't see him as a threat to anyone as much as just a dickhead who'll hopefully learn about the magic of friendship, as all other minor dickheads in the championships tend to do. So long as he stays in his lane and doesn't join any evil corporations, they won't sick any wild hounds on him (although if Ash is also Vita's mentor... then that might change. Go full Madina mode if you know what I mean (I really don't care that you're a baby, I'll snap your neck like a twig)).

[troofless]

Chapter 1.1 Notes:

Man this chapter was so long despite like. Almost nothing happening in it lol.

wtf i cant believe we have an entire pov (sub)chapter about flynn insane

man norein (i feel like localisation would put it as norraine or noraine) and finath are such whack names 

i still think its funny if yuri can’t read (he can at least read the letters on the wanted poster, but he does give flynn’s letter to estelle to read that one time, and the coliseum challenge letters) but yeah its canon yuri can read 😔

huh wtf is this sudden attack and we get to see flynn inner thoughts on yuri???

the yuri’s OUR SWORD meme returns. love it

if this is how yuri and flynn co-own a sword i can’t wait to see how they act around repede (this never happens in the ln.) (FLYNN ITS MY TURN TO CUDDLE WITH THE DOG) (NO SHUT UP GO AWAY I THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM) (I NEVER SAID I DID) (YOU DID TOO) (I DID NOT)

yuri besmirching ages old techniques even as he learns them never gets old 😔yuri is that guy who goes to lab in a fighting game and comes out learning sick infinite tech combos that can’t be dropped

the narration: if this continued, it was likely that they would murder each other.

everything changed with a single book: why did they have to put it like that man

oh if only this was a fanfic this would have turned out so differently

So when Yuri says his swordsmanship is self-taught what he really meant is Flynn taught

oh my god. i can see it coming. yuri is going to ask to be taught letters so he can read the goddamn book. bruh.

edit: yeah it happened

also flynn pov! very nice. can see he wants to murder yuri but is holding back just a smidge. 

gotta love how flynn has a whole sad monologue about his dead dad and his mixed feelings about his martyrdom and yuri just KYs his way into existence.

oh i see! so flynn. has learnt to restrain himself from young. because of yuri. the reason he has so much self-control is because he practised it in order not to beat the shit out of yuri at first sight. it all makes sense now. 

ok so fun fact. 秘奥義 is mystic artes. but 奥義 is arcane artes, which is how yuri refers to what is ‘hidden’ in flynn’s book. and his ‘learn even more amazing techniques’ moment he says 技 which is strike arte. but technically since they’re talking about (supposedly) techniques that can be used without blastia, defaulting to the phrase techniques shld be fine. b4 u ask. no katakana reading above the kanji either.

flynn acknowledging that him and yuri are friends and getting embarrassed is so cute. icy cold (raging) baby melting a little inside. 

jiri thinking yuri is thinking up another river escapade (somewhat true knowing his read books -> beat up people/monsters pipeline) interrogating yuri until he cracked is so funny

jiri doing a tails get trolled at yuri wanting to study is so funny

hanks, sensing an opportunity to be had is also funny

man. i really REALLY can’t wait for the moment where yuri is all like. rip to your mother but i would have eaten that medicine. and flynn beats him up (i have no idea whether this actually happens)

ok so holy shit. we learn that flynn’s mother has either a TON of pride or is super depressed from having lost her husband that she would prefer to starve to death. now i really can’t wait for yuri’s rip to your mother moment /j

ok thats cute so yuri is writing his name aka ‘yuri lowell’ on his slate

oh yeah and the norein name stays to make stuff easier to find. i sleep until official gives us something (which is never) but in my mind know that she is noraine (no rain... ok maybe there is a point to be matter in staying with norein)

[guitarriffsolo]

❗️Stolas NSFW alphabet❗️

(This is actually my husband guys)

A - Aftercare

Usually he’s the one whining to be pampered after sex but once he has been well taken care of he will make sure to ask if you’re feeling okay as well. He will get you anything you need even if he’s exhausted

B - Body part

For him, he loves his long bird like legs and they way they fit so nicely over your shoulders <3. On you he loves your belly idk why I can just picture him giving so many tummy kisses and always holding onto your waist. He loves someone with a little pudge tbh

C - Cum

He wants you to cum everywhere on him. His face, his stomach his chest, anywhere you please he’ll gladly accept it.

D - Dom or Sub?

Hugeee sub and only sub. Most he’ll do is be a service top if you request so.

E - Experience

Not very experienced but watched plenty of porn and is always ready to jump into whatever. Really his only experience was Blitzø. The only time him and Stella fucked was when they needed to produce an heir.

F - Favorite position

He loves a good doggy style but will honestly be happy in whatever position you put him in. If he is playing a service top though he only wants missionary to not only watch you but to know that you are seeing him fall apart.

G - Goofy?

He will be a bit giddy at first but then he quickly settles down once his brain has been turned into subby little mush

H - Hair

Now that I think about it I don’t even think theres hair there. Like I think it’s just more feathers.

I - Intimacy

Very intimate and expects the exact same from you

J - Jack off

Would sometimes try to masturbate but is quickly disappointed realizing it’s very hard to make himself feel the way you make him feel and decides its best to let you take care of such things.

K - Kinks

Pretty much an open book to any sort of bdsm. But his favs are impact play, bondage, and sensory deprivation

L - Location

Bedroom pretty much is it. He loves to fantasize of a public quickie but he is still royalty and does still have an image to maintain.

M - Motivation

Very easily turned on. Touch his feathers the right way and he is rock hard begging to be fucked

N - NO

Again, a pretty open book but I truly cannot picture him being into any bathroom things. Maybe I’m biased cuz those are just my turn offs idk

O - Oral

Doesn’t have a huge preference between giving and receiving oral. He’s a flustered mess when receiving and very much squirming the entire time. He loves to see you face when giving oral and feels so proud he can make you feel good.

P - Pace

Loves it fast, rough, and hard but can never deny a slow sensual banging when he’s tuckered out from a bad day.

Q - Quickie

Thinks quickies are soo hot and loves them on days when he’s busy. Though they would never ever beat a full on scene.

R - Risk

Always game to try something new. He loves adding a spark and experimentation into the bedroom.

S - Stamina

Will last pretty much as long as you please. He gets whiny while being overstimulated but he loves it so much and will let you go as long as you please.

T - Toys

Loves all types of toys. Always finding toys you didn’t even know existed but he loves trying all sorts of tools to help that sexy spark.

U - Unfair

Too desperate to be a tease

V - Volume

Very loud, gags are very handy between you two. During sexy he makes lots of owl noises such as hoots and chirps that you find oh so adorable.”

W - Wild card

Can be whiny but not a huge brat because he tries his absolute best to be a super good boy for you. Though he will sometimes fail to suppress all his fussing if he’s being denied.

X - X-ray

His cock is an average length a tiny bit on the skinnier side. Uncut with a slight curve at the end.

Y - Yearning

Very high sex drive and libido. Like some constant fucking machine (I swear it’s concerning sometimes)

Z - Zzz

He tries to stay awake until he’s feeling a bit better. That way he can properly take care of you as well. He also gets a bit insecure afterwards sometimes so that can keep him up

[phosphorus-noodles]

a shipping ask game u say. well i say jizzie and joli

AAA AERIE ILY I WILL HAPPILY OBLIGE <3

i DO ship both of these i basically invented one of them /hj

Jizzie:

What made you ship it?

ok so funny story-

my first interaction with knowing joel was 3rd life, but it was only bc my friend and i were obsessed with flower husbands at the time and when it switched over to empires we put him in the role of couples therapist solely for the reason that he was the only other person that was on both servers and would know them. but we also made him romance-repulsed aroace bc hehe funny aroace couples therapist

... and then i realized that his Real Life Wife was also in the server and i didn't have the heart to make her crush unrequited so i went "... guess he has feelings for people then :( ... but also he's so bisexual-"

What are your favorite things about the ship?

gosh,,, they're just so married, innit? bi4bi, t4t, they really do it all <3

also they're both just. absolutely insane. like they're both so bloodthirsty but they're also so goofy and in love together and joel gets so flustered around his wife sometimes and it's so funny ?? truly girlboss x cringefail and i love that for them

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

hmm... they're better than gem/pearl /j (but also GO VOTE JIZZIE!!!)

Joli:

What made you ship it?

... you REALLY don't wanna know /lh

(it was a crack-ship-turned-serious situation and goodness it really is serious now huh,)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

GRRHHH SO MANY THINGS AND NONE OF THEM MAKE SENSE !!!

for one thing- i ship them both platonically and romantically! they're soulmates /r but they're also soulmates in the sense that they're british pals connected by strings of fate yk

they're so silly to watch together on streams and whatnot bc their banter is so funny but they also say deranged things like THIS (???!?) but you can also tell that man,,,, they're such buddies :] you can just tell how close they are yk

and then there's the au i write my fics/usually post about and MAN... GOSH I LOVE THEM I'M INSANE ABOUT THEM,

they're the embodiment of strangers/enemies -> friends -> BEST friends -> lovers (alternatively: soulbounds (political allies) to soulmates (platonic/romantic lovers)) and it's like my favorite trope now. they're also so bi4pan and i love that. they love each other so so much and they're goofy and they're magical and i can't even. like. put my thoughts into words because i just care about them too much to even express it,,,,

(but they're such a niche thing that i can say that about other ships and people will be like "I GET YOU !!" but i say it about them and people are like "?? lol what who?" /silly)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

they should REALLY be more popular in my humble opinion... i've encountered maybe like... two? three?? people in the wild that also ship it that i didn't already know when i "came up" with it-

also like... i wanna read fics about them but the ao3 tag is atrocious right now tbh- as i'm writing this AO3 WON'T COME UP but last i checked i think there were maaaybe 7?? fics in the (romantic) joel/oli tag and one was mine, one was written to me lol, at least one was nsfw, and one had it tagged but it wasn't really mentioned in any way, so- gosh it just makes me sad. i can't read about my boys :(

(Edit: there are six fics. One is mine, one was written to me, one was tagged for reach ??, and the other three are nsfw. I am the ruler of a desolate kingdom 😔)

like c'mon. look me in the eye and tell me that oliver "that's really passionate, king" sound and joel "lizzie has left the room now, the sexual tension has appeared" smallishbeans wouldn't kiss ?? 🤨

man... i love these fellas. i will talk about them anytime. ty aerie <3

(Ask game here!)