#also trying the wiggly animation thing and it is more work than expected!!!

[smalltimidbean]

On the first day of December, someone gave to me - A partridge peacock in a pear tree...?

That doesn't seem right... How did she even end up in there? Not even she knows

[alphynix]

(This was originally supposed to be a final-day-of-#Spectember bonus post, but it got much longer than I expected so it's a few days late.)

To finish off this year's diversion into speculative evolution, instead of pulling from my still-rather-long list of unused submissions I'm doing something a little different – trying to give an idea of how I go through the actual process of designing a speculative species.

And for today's example I'm going to do a "redesign" of sorts for a classic Dougal Dixon After Man creature: the reedstilt.

For several reasons:

It was on the cover of the old edition of After Man I first discovered as a kid in the local library, it immediately caught my attention, and as a result it's always been one of my favorite species from the book.

But some of its anatomy doesn't really hold up.

I really really Do Not Like the "official" redesign that replaced the original art in the 2018 reprint. It's shrinkwrapped.

I just think it's neat.

Reedstilt in both original flavor and 2018 revamp style.

———

Before I actually start drawing anything I do a lot of research, figuring out the ancestry and biology of the species I'm working on.

Step #1: What even is it?

The reedstilt (Harundopes virgatus) is stated in the book to be a 1m tall at the shoulder (3'3") wading heron-like predatory mammal descended from "insectivores" – an outdated term for a whole bunch of different vaguely-shrew-like groups that we now know aren't actually closely related to each other at all. Several places around the internet make the claim that it's specifically a talpid (a mole) but I can't find any official source for that. (Presumably somebody assumed it was supposed to be a descendant of the semi-aquatic desmans?)

So, I'm sticking with generic "insectivore" ancestry here, especially since the reedstilt is shown as part of its own separate lineage in the tree of life at the back of the book, not closely related to any of the other future "insectivores". And that gives me much more freedom for reinterpretation and deciding what this thing actually is and how it works. 

Along with what is now the Eulipotyphla (hedgehogs, shrews, moles, and solenodons), the old "Insectivora" also included golden moles, tenrecomorphs, sengis, treeshrews, and colugos.

I rather like the idea of using one of these ex-insectivore groups for a bit of spice, and I'm starting off leaning towards having the reedstilt be a tenrec. They're an ancient, weird, and diverse lineage of mammals with a lot of neat examples of convergent evolution, and some of them even have long toothy-jawed skulls already rather reminiscent of a proto-reedstilt.

But here I also have to take biogeography into consideration – where species are located and where they'd potentially be able to disperse over time.

Reedstilts inhabit pockets of wetlands in the temperate zones of the future "northern continent", in a region mostly corresponding to modern Europe, northern Africa, the Middle East, and central Asia.

Map showing the future Earth's temperate zones in green.

And tenrecs are native only to Madagascar, with introduced populations of one species on a few Indian Ocean islands and another species kept as an exotic pet in some countries. Even in the future of After Man Madagascar is still an isolated island off southeast Africa – so while I could simply declare the reedstilt to be descended from escaped pet tenrecs in Eurasia, I think I'm going to need to take a different approach here.

Out of the other "insectivore" options in or near the regions I'm working with, sengis (also known as "elephant shrews") range into northern Africa and are also interestingly weird little animals – and they already look like something right out of a spec evo project, with wiggly proboscis-like noses, compact mouse-like bodies, and long legs.

———

Step #2: What's Its Evolutionary Story?

So now that I've settled on a sengi as the ancestral form, I need to have a decent idea of how a small running-and-hopping rodent-like animal living mainly in arid environments evolved into the larger heron-like ambush-hunting wetland reedstilt.

Perhaps as the climate became more temperate, some northern African sengis adapted to the developing wetter forest habitats and eventually spread into the temperate zones of Eurasia via the Levant and/or the closing Mediterranean. Their small bodies and slender legs made them good at navigating their way through dense vegetation, and also at wading through wet swampy terrain – and maybe they also became adept at escaping predators via fleeing into water similar to chevrotains.

Some began feeding on small aquatic animals in the shallows, probing around in the mud for invertebrates with their sensitive noses and snapping up fish with lunges of their jaws. They grew larger, able to tackle slightly bigger prey, with long necks that helped them save energy by standing in one place while using their longer reach to forage around themselves, and simple conical teeth allowed them to grip onto slippery prey better.

———

Step #3: How Does Its Anatomy Work?

The main defining characteristics I want to incorporate into the reedstilt are:

The long neck

Narrow elongated jaws with cetacean-like conical pointed teeth

Long slender stilt-like legs with bristly hairs and weight-spreading toes

And the first thing I need to deal with, and the major issue I have with both "canon" reedstilt designs, is that neck.

The skull and neck shown in the 2018 edition.

After Man says this species is unique for a mammal in having recently evolved 15(!) neck vertebrae, which is a big anatomical Problem. Mammals almost universally* have just 7 neck bones no matter how long or short their necks actually are. They're so incredibly consistent with this, in fact, that it seems to be a hard biological limitation controlled by highly conservative Hox genes, with any chance mutations that produce higher numbers of neck vertebrae inevitably causing various cancers, neurological issues, and developmental abnormalities.

(* Sloths and manatees manage to have a slightly different number of neck vertebrae, but they're incredibly weird exceptions that get around some of the associated nasty side-effects thanks to their especially slow metabolic rates. And they definitely don't get anywhere close to what the reedstilt is supposed to be doing.)

So I'm throwing that detail right out. Reedstilts still have seven neck vertebrae and instead of that sinuous swan-like neck they use a stiffer dipping motion to hunt more like an azhdarchid pterosaur.

For the jaws I'm going to reference some conveniently pre-existing animals with similar features – remingtonocetids, a group of early whale-relatives with long toothy crocodilian-like snouts.

The lower parts of the reedstilt's legs are covered with stiff bristly hairs, which in After Man are said to be for camouflage and protection – but I think they could easily also serve a sensory function, triangulating the location of aquatic prey by sensing turbulence in the water like a seal's whiskers.

Both reedstilts' feet.

Finally we come to the feet. This is the one point I'll actually credit to the new version – its wide lobed splaying toes are actually an improvement over the bendy sausage toes of the old one, and I'll be using that sort of anatomy for my design too.

———

Step #4: Finally Drawing Things

Now I gather up some reference images: 

References!

Here I've got some sengi images, a remingtonocetid skull, skeletons of some long-legged long-necked mammals – camelids, gerenuks, and giraffes – along with a comparison of long-necked mammals to long-necked non-sauropod reptiles.

Using this I come up with a basic skeletal for the reedstilt based on both the original sengi skeleton and my other references.

A sketch of a sengi skeleton on the left, modifying the anatomy into a reedstilt on the right.

One of the common features of the long-necked species I'm referencing is large neural spines on their thoracic vertebrae. These anchor some of the neck musculature, because mammals generally have beefier necks and heavier skulls than birds since they don't have extensive weight-reducing air spaces in their bones.

So the reedstilt gets that too, which has the overall effect of making its neck look thicker and less swanlike.

Reedstilt skeleton and musculature.

Here I've added some basic musculature and soft tissue over the bones.

Normally I'd give an animal with the reedstilt's aquatic hunting style retracted nostrils so it didn't have to hold its breath every time it dipped its snout into the water, but I want to keep the wiggly sengi-like nose as a hint of its ancestry. I'm justifying it by saying they're not purely piscivorous, still sometimes grubbing around in the mud and sniffing out small terrestrial prey.

Since reedstilts have fairly short fur coverings this gives me a decent idea of the actual final shape of the animal.

Trying out a couple of poses.

And here's a detail of the mouth open, and one of the left feet. I'm giving it a couple of larger pointy claws on its inner toes for grooming purposes.

Jaws and foot detail.

Now I can finally bring it all together and produce a final image, taking some color and pattern elements from both versions.

The final reedstilt.

[blouisparadise]

Today’s rec list consists of bottom Louis fics that take place in the country, the Midwest, or any rural area. We hope you enjoy. If you do, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Save A Horse | Explicit | 2400 words

Louis goes to a rodeo with Liam, and gets a lot more than he bargained for. Featuring bull rider Harry, obnoxious t-shirts, and one hell of a night.

“Come on Jackson ain’t you been practicin? It ain’t fun for me if I always beat you,” the boy drawls out, voice slow and thick like molasses. “You comin out tonight?” he asks, nudging him with his elbow.

“Not tonight H, me and Liam are going to grab something to eat,” Jackson replies, the blush returning to Liam’s cheeks.

“What about you, what’re your plans for the night darlin’?” Harry asks, crooking an eyebrow in Louis’s direction.

Louis, who is the epitome of outgoing and confident, is at a total loss for words. He starts to say something but freezes, Harry now raising his other eyebrow and smirking, awaiting Louis’s response. “I uh- I’ll probably just go home,” Louis manages to stammer out, and what the fuck? Who is this man and how has he turned Louis into an introvert in a matter of seconds?

2) Gunsmoke | Explicit | 6527 words

Harry 'Gunsmoke' Styles and his boys Liam, Zayn, and Niall are all traveling cowboys who come across a small town on their journey to nowhere. They hang out at a tavern where Harry meets Louis, a cute and fiery bartender, and they may or may not fall in love.

3) Hey I Heard You Were A Wild One (If I Took You Home It'd Be A Homerun) | Explicit | 12106 words

Harry came to the bar to forget. Louis gives him a night to remember.

4) This Land Is More Than Dreams | Explicit | 12878 words

Louis is a student taking a gap year, travelling through the States. His plans change when he meets a cute cowboy-wannabe in one of the towns.

5) Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy | Mature | 13356 words

Harry owns a farm and Louis rides horses (and pretty boys sometimes) for a living. Harry hurts himself by being clumsy before he gets to ride a horse with Louis.

6) Manifest Destiny | Explicit | 15210 words

Louis is a Pony Express rider and Harry runs a station along the trail.

7) Baby Blue | Explicit | 39439 words

Harry Styles takes his time coming out to greet them. Louis only knows what he’s seen on file and what he’s heard them talking about, but he fully lives up to the image he had inside of his head.

He saunters down the front steps of the farmhouse in his Levi’s, brown snakeskin boots curving out from underneath the denim Louis’ sure he had specially made. He’s got on a plaid button-down tucked into the jeans because of course he does, curls spilling out from either side of his cowboy hat around his sunglasses and country-tan skin.

“Harry Styles,” he drawls, extending a hand to Louis’ manager, “Pleased to meet ya’ll.”

8) I Ain’t Gonna Fence You In | Mature | 40645 words

Louis Tomlinson is a 18 year old city boy who is forced to spend his summer before his senior year at his aunts farm. There, he meets Harry, a 19 year old country boy his aunt hired to help around the farm.

Maybe the farm isn't the worst place to fall in love?

9) Boiling Blood Will Circulate | Explicit | 42420 words

The wait isn’t long before something starts rustling in the bushes. Harry takes aim, squeezes the trigger, body moving unconsciously. They’re motions he’s done a thousand times before, and his body knows how to do it without the input of his brain now. It’s what makes him such a good shot.

He misses. The shot misses.

Something howls in the woods, a pretty clear indication that Harry hit it, but there’s no telltale sounds of a big body dropping, no animal charging out at him to take him out before he can finish the job.

Something does turn and run, though. “Fuck,” Harry spits out, scrambling to his feet and slinging the rifle back over his shoulder, giving chase. He’s not going to lose this hunt.

The trail of blood goes on longer than Harry thought it would. He doesn’t know how long he runs for, but his muscles are burning, chest heaving with exertion, until the trail just - goes dead. No more blood, just like that.

“Fuck,” Harry says.

10) Your Touch Shouldn't Make Me Feel Like This | Explicit | 48883 words

Uni AU in which Alpha Harry has been in love with his omega friend for the longest time and one motorbike trip to the countryside with Louis made him realize that he could no longer hold back his feelings.

11) For the Sake of Propriety | Mature | 52360 words

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for.  His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best.  When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice.  But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

12) Through The Wheatfields And The Coastlines | Explicit | 52855 words

“You’re not from around here, are ya?” Hot Cowboy asks, tracking his little lamb with his eyes. Louis frowns slightly, having thought he was doing pretty well at not sticking out like a sore thumb. It’s not like he’s not from around here — it’s not his first summer he’s spent at his grandparents'. But he supposes that the Manhattan city lifestyle that he’s used to is always going to shine through.

“I’m visiting family for the summer,” Louis explains, cheeks a little pink. “Trying to get some work done without distractions.”

13) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.

14) Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You) | Mature | 54609 words | Sequel

Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles.

Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn.

He also starts to fall in love with Harry.

Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

15) Such Good Luck | Explicit | 66025 words

An Edwardian AU where Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.

16) Given a Chance | Explicit | 173511 words

Five years after One Direction took their last tour, the last thing Louis Tomlinson ever expected to happen while on a tea run at the local Piggly Wiggly was to run into his ex-boyfriend and ex-bandmate Harry Styles.

The odds of them ever running into each other again had to be super slim, right?

Wrong.

What happens when you mix ex-boyfriends with a large serving of Small Town America? Will Louis and Harry be able to set aside their differences, or will Louis be able to stay breezy as fuck in the wake of Harry’s arrival?

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[ckret2]

Weird And Very Specific Dietary Needs

Written for @symbruary Day 10: "friendship." I'm actually surprised it took me this long to write a ficlet featuring Morbius because like. I ship that. But I've got a couple more planned. I'm gonna stick my Venom & Morbius fics in their own AO3 fic separate from my other symbruary fics, since there’s gonna be a few together.

Now to be clear I'm primarily familiar with Morbius from the miniseries & events he appears in with Venom and it's been a hot minute since I read those so, *makes a wiggly hand at Morb’s characterization*

###

"There you are!" Venom said, rounding a corner to reveal two huddled forms: the source of the sounds of violence they'd been following through the drainage tunnels for the last five minute. "Now, you miscreant—I don't know what acts of vile villainy you've come down here to perpetrate, but the citizens of the subterranean system of this city are under our protection. So get off that innocent—"

The assailant looked up from the victim they were bent over, blood coating the bottom half of their pallid face, eyes wide, hair wild.

"Oh, Morbie!" Venom relaxed. "We've got to stop meeting like this! You know: unexpectedly, underground, in the dark, under circumstances where it'd be all too easy for us to mistake each other for foes—"

"Venom?" Morbius shook his head, the eerily inhuman look in his eyes fading.

"The two and only. Are you in the mood for company, or if we stick around are you gonna act like a pain in the neck?"

The vampire clearly had no sense of humor, because that pun deserved at least a chuckle. He turned away. "Give me a moment; I'm almost finished dining."

"Sure thing." Venom leaned against a concrete wall, arms and ankles crossed. Morbius hesitated, as if he'd expected Venom to leave, but then bent over his unfinished meal.

Once he'd straightened up and wiped off his face, he said, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Why? We've seen it before."

"In the heat of battle. When I'm using my fangs as a weapon. Not as... as..."

Venom offered, "Straws?"

"Not what I was going for."

"Knives? But knives are a weapon too," Venom said. "Forks?"

"You know what, I—Straws was fine."

"Straws, then. Anyway—doesn't bother us," Venom said, shrugging. "I mean, he deserved it, right?"

"Of course he did. He came down here with two friends to try to harass transients."

"Then no problem." Venom's face lit up. "Hey—do you still need help dealing with the other two, or...?"

"No, I... dealt with them first. This one simply got a head start before I could catch him."

"Ah." Venom sank back against the wall again, disappointed.

"I can't imagine why it wouldn't bother you."

Morbius was still looking at his meal instead of at Venom, back turned and shoulders hunched. Had Venom stumbled on him on a broody night—that was like a thing for vampires, right? Blood-drinking, bad sunburns, and brooding?—or was he just that embarrassed over being watched during dinner?

Maybe they should be taking the conversation a bit more seriously, then. "We think you probably can imagine why. Most people know about our weird dietary needs."

Morbius finally glanced back at them. "Those rumors are true, then? I was never sure if they were or if it was the usual stereotypes and slander against the monstrous."

"Half true. We've got a couple of much less gruesome ways to get our vitamins and minerals, but if we skip a couple of snacks... well, your average human skull starts looking like a tasty little bonbon: crunchy shell on the outside, delicious chewy filling..."

Morbius grimaced. "You have a very... evocative way with words."

"Used to be a journalist."

"All the same—does that not... disgust you?" He got to his feet, finally turning to face Venom fully. "It's true that neither one of us can be called fully human anymore, but there's still some element of humanity inside of us. Is the humanity in you not repulsed?"

Venom hesitated. "Huh. That got philosophical fast."

"It's something I spend a lot more time thinking about than having a chance to talk over with someone else."

That was fair. Venom had someone to talk over those questions with—the two of them always together, always listening to each other's fears and worries.

"We're a little different from you," Venom said. "You're a human that's been altered, we're a human that's been added too."

"Granted," Morbius said, "but even so..."

Venom held up a finger. "Hold on a moment, we're getting to our point," they said. "One half of us has lived countless lives on countless worlds around countless stars, shared lives with countless species that feed countless different ways. Cannibalism, even between members of a sapient species, isn't strange or horrific to it. Just another thing some aliens do."

Morbius drew his head back, blinking at being called the alien—yeah, some humans got like that, had to wrap their heads around the idea that they were the "other" to somebody—but he didn't comment.

"The other half of us... is still human, yes. And the humanity in Eddie is repulsed when he discovers that he's consumed the flesh of his own kind." They had to hold back a shudder at one of their more vivid memories. "There's a perverse delight in it—the taste of something you can feel is... is spiritually tainting you just for tasting it. A poisonous forbidden fruit. The horror of knowing what you've done balanced by the relief of knowing you're now past the fear that you might do it and the resignation that you must." (Morbius's expression darkened as Venom spoke—he clearly didn't like that he understood what Eddie felt, but he did understand.) "Yes, Eddie knows that repulsion. But he only feels that repulsion toward himself. How can he feel it toward you, when he can also see you the way his other can, not as a high spiritual creature that has fallen from grace but as a blameless humble animal doing as its instincts urge it to feed? How can he feel it toward you when he knows the same shame and guilt you feel, and that you wouldn't if you didn't have to? Are you revolted by him the way you're revolted by yourself?"

Morbius frowned, stroking his chin as he put serious thought into the question. "Generally, no," he said, "unless you're comparing skulls to bonbons."

Venom laughed loudly. "Sorry! The comparison comes naturally to us. Chocolate is our primary chemical substitute."

"Chocolate?!" Morbius barked. "You get to choose between cannibalism and chocolate?! Oh, of all the lucky curses!"

"You know, it is, isn't it?"

"And here I am, empathizing with you over our shared lost humanity, and your darkest cravings are satisfied with chocolate!" Morbius waved them off as he turned from them, lips curled in exaggerated disgust. "Away with you. Chocolate." He stalked down the tunnel.

They followed after him. They'd assume he actually wanted them to leave if he said it again. "Have you ever tried looking for substitutes?" they asked cheerfully. "Blood sausage, maybe?"

"Yes, actually. With that exact food."

"No good?"

"Would I be here instead of robbing a butcher's shop if it worked?"

"I don't know—maybe you thought these three bullies you dealt with deserved it more than the poor butcher that was going to have to pay for the broken windows?"

Morbius rolled his eyes.

Venom grinned and kept following him.

###

Fic crossposted to AO3, link in my description. If you enjoyed this fic, I'd appreciate a comment or reblog!

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Fantastic Beasts: CoG Thoughts and Observations

*SPOILERS* Press ‘J’ if you want to skip to the next post.

Grindelwald is a badass. I don’t even like him and yet he’s a fucking badass. He was in fucking prison for 6 months and they had to change his guards multiple times because he’s so damn charismatic that he kept luring the Aurors to his side!

He then got out long before he was supposed to be transported and literally took out everyone on the transport team. And he drove the damn carriage and without even looking behind him, directed bolts of lightning to take out some of the Aurors on their brooms.

He did not come to play.

Newt is still my adorable child. He’s so awkward and still feels like he did in the first film which is great. A lot of people whined about how he wasn’t ‘manly enough’. Because Newt shows compassion on the regular and is more soft-spoken and not interested in ‘manly professions’ or some shit, so he doesn’t fit the ridiculous type of masculinity Hollywood shoves down our throats and dudebros can’t relate to him.

“There are no strange creatures, only wicked people,” is a great line and should be used in reference to animals as well since some people still walk around acting like sharks and pitbulls are evil incarnate. I really love Newt.

Leta knows him well enough to know what he’d say in response to her comment. They have an awkward air of camaraderie about them.

Newt stood up to a teacher with that line of his and got a month’s worth of detention. Leta left a dungbomb in his office to get back at him so she could join Newt. Good friends fight the intolerant assholes in charge of your education together.

Theseus gives off this smarmy vibe. I seen people praise him as a good brother but at present just the way he stands annoys me. And it makes me sad that Newt feels like he can’t be himself in order to be rightfully treated like a human being should be treated.

The dude playing Theseus really does resemble Eddie though, so props for getting that right at least. I can believe they’re siblings.

As usual the Ministry is useless. Grindels is literally the reason NYC got fucked up. Him and his messing with Credence. Newt made some mistakes but actually worked to fix them and then saved all their asses in the process. Why is he getting blamed with misinformation? Even in the 20s Magical Britain’s Ministry is full of morons.

There’s a black dude in a high Ministry position. I think there are more POC in this film than all the HP films combined, jfc. ‘bout time!

Also, they never told Newt that Credence is alive and are now using that fact as a way to try and guilt-trip him into joining the Ministry. Cleverish I suppose, but I still don’t like them.

Some dude just referred to Credence as an IT. wtf? Credence is a wizard who, because magical people suck at getting abused children the help they need, ended up a massive mess. He’s not some thing to be treated like shit!

The brothers are arguing and Newt starts spouting off things he’s mostly likely heard from Theseus and his parents. I will admit Theseus seems less annoying now that he’s spoken a bit, but the fact that Newt starts saying, “Okay, right, here we go, selfish, irresponsible-” speaks of somebody who is used to being compared to another and having what others consider to be ‘faults’ shoved in his face and complained about. That sucks a lot.

Okay, Theseus isn’t as annoying as I expected him to be. He does seem to care for Newt and understand how his mind works to an extent. He isn’t offended that Newt doesn’t go to hug him back. Newt is just awkward with physical contact from humans. He’s always seemed to be on the spectrum for me and I’ve only recently found out that others feel the same, which makes his character more interesting imo.

Grindels is in lift shoes! Needs that extra height that badly? 5′10 isn’t short or anything but he really needed that lift to 6′0″? XD

At least Grindels and the Gang are only using AKs(silently btw). I don’t get why everyone always acts like AK is the absolute worst spell in HP when literally it’s just a quick and painless death. There are a bajillion others spells that are actually terrifying.

Newt easily noticing that he’s being followed and fucking with his stalker is the best. People who say Newt is weak are effin stupid.

I would not take the hand of some random glove hovering in my face. Now way, no how. idc who it might belong to, that’s some shady shit. I don’t trust people.

Though we have to admit that the glove forcibly Apparating him, even if it’s a small distance is pretty cool. Dumbles annoys me but as Phineas Nigellus will say in the future, “He’s got style.”

The fact that Newt knew it was Dumbles makes me wonder if Dumbles has done this before.

Dumbles literally just summoned a big ass fog to cover the city! I don’t like him but he keeps impressing me! It’s annoying! Stop it!

“A Phoenix will come to any Dumbledore in desperate need.” Interesting.

A wizard doing sleight of hand. Oi vey. Dumbles is a drama queen to the umpteenth degree.

God he was a cryptic asshat even back then. It’s very easy to believe this dude becomes the Dumbledore we all know. I think people are just bitching because they refuse to see Dumbledore for who he is. Lots of people whining about ‘how manipulative Jude’s Dumbledore is’ not realizing that HP-Dumbles is literally a Master Manipulator.

Baby Nifflers are effin adorable and I love how well Newt knows them!

Newt literally has someone working for him. And he’s been nothing but reassuring in his own way. He especially tells her to avoid the Kelpie because he doesn’t want her to get hurt. I have seen several people whining about him ‘being mean’ to her and I just have to ask, are y’all fucking stupid? He knows his creatures and when he tells her to not go near one alone because of how dangerous it is and she might lose a finger, he’s not being mean. He’s being a responsible employer. I know some of your bosses don’t give a shit about your well being, but Newt is actually a decent bloke. Chill the fuck out.

She’s flirting with him and is really bad at it. But it’s kinda funny at the same time.

Also can we just stop and talk about how talented Newt is that he can create such realistic habitats in such seemingly small and cramped places? He’s really good at magic.

Queenie and Jacob are cute. And to all the people whining about how ‘unnecessary’ he is to the plot, can y’all chill? He is there for a reason. To show how fucked up MACUSA is when it comes to dealing with Muggles. Queenie will literally be imprisoned if they find out she’s with a Muggle. It’s ridiculous and his character is supposed to show how even the American wizards are messed up.

Queenie calling Newt, ‘honey’ is sweet. I swear she’s the Molly of this new group of friends. Seems like she wants to take care of people and just adopts everyone who comes along.

God, even the magical gossip rags are shit even back then. They deliberately made it so it looked as if Newt and Leta were a thing. Though tbh nothing really happened between Newt and Tina in the first film so her being all offended over him possibly marrying another woman is ridiculous.

These weird shots that are supposed to be directly from someone’s point of view are a bit annoying, I must admit. It’s kind of like watching through a somewhat less annoying fish-eye lens, but still annoying anyway.

Newt is very smart. He notices very quickly that Jacob is out of sorts and that he hasn’t been acting normally. He deduces very quickly that something is up and then stops it.

I really like how level-headed Jacob is about everything considering all the crap he’s just thrown into. He cares enough about Queenie to not want her to be imprisoned/possibly killed for breaking a stupid law. I got really emotional at that part because MACUSA is full of idiots.

Jacob is right though, she’s not being sensible. There’s a lot at stake and it isn’t smart for them to marry yet no matter how much they want to. 

Jacob looks at the bird thing and then’s just like, “I got my own problems.” He’s been through enough shit to just not care atm.

And now everyone’s basically going to Paris anyway.

Walking through weird barriers into new places should no longer impress me but it still does!

The magical circus looks kind of awesome but the I’m also not a fan of how circuses are handled. So it’s this cross between amazement and annoyance at the inhumane way animals(in this case creatures) are being handled.

Literally, they are kept locked up in filthy places, I am unhappy! Also Claudia Kim, who portrays Nagini, is so very beautiful and I am so very gay.

Nagini’s hair has that little serpent-like curl at the end as it rests against her neck. It’s such an awesome little detail to throw in there.

Her transformation is really cool btw.

Wow! You treat the creatures like shit and mock them, and get all confused when they attack you? I hope pain was dealt.

What is it with all the bad guys in everything having to incorporate skulls into their dirty business? Is this supposed to be a play on the whole skulls and crossbones thing meaning death?

Though Grindels does make it more interesting than some wiggly tattoo at least.

Dumbles is considered the greatest threat to his cause when he’s practically been doing nothing but playing teacher. That’s some high praise I suppose.

He’s already known as ‘The Great Albus Dumbledore’! What did he do to gain such belief in his prowess? He’s like 46!

Newt’s asking Jacob for advice on what to say when he sees Tina again, and Jacob gives him great advise. “Best not to plan these things.” It’s good. And then Newt’s like, “She has eyes just like a salamander,” and Jacob’s tune changes immediately! XD “Don’t say that!”

Jacob is a good friend. I really like him!

Jacob’s reactions are the greatest because he’s literally like an in-universe representation of the fandom when we saw magic in the movies for the first time!

Do people know that Eddie Redmayne actually licked the ground?

Newt talking about how narrow Tina’s feet are and Jacob just being like, ‘okaaaaaaay’ is the best!

Queenie must be so lost. Hearing all these thoughts and not knowing the language they’re in. And it must be stressful to not only be in an unfamiliar place but also be completely unprepared for everything going on.

That is the perfect moment to trick her. Literally, I don’t get how people can’t see that she’s emotionally vulnerable and a prime target for manipulation right now.

Credence is just a mess. He needs friends. Glad Nagini seems to be filling in that role but honestly he needs a few more. Those who are ‘cursed’ in essence, like he is. So they’ll understand him.

I really love Jacob’s character. He’s just so amazed by magic and all the things it can do. ^-^

Newt! Knows how to tame and capture creatures he’s never even met before! Zuowus are cute imo.

Hedwig’s Theme, I am crying!

Also, Hogwarts brings back my feels.

Very confused about the McGonagall thing unless this involves time-travel which idk how advanced that was at the time.

The fucking Aurors just break into the class and Head dude’s like, “I can go wherever I please. OUT!” And all the kids just standing there and look to Dumbledore for direction. It’s fucking hilarious that they won’t even listen to the dude who could imprison them with whatever excuse he can make up. 

Now, there seems to be students of all ages in this classroom, which makes me wonder if it’s actually a class or Dumbledore has a Dueling Club set up, because he’s literally teaching a Gryffindor how to not make the same mistakes in a duel, right before owning his ass. idc what anyone says, no class of 17/11 year olds will have multiples students the size of first/seventh years in it. People are either really really tall or really really short. So I vote for a Dueling Club happening.

The Gryffindor who just lost the duel gets up in the dude’s face and is like, ‘he’s the best teacher we’ve got’. Props.

Dumbledore is way better than this Travis dude. And I mean by power and presence. I don’t like him any more than I do the Travis dude. Meaning not at all, But you get what I mean. Dumbles is far better for the good guys than this hoity toity asshat who thinks that because he’s Head Auror he can do anything he wants. Him ignoring Dumbledore’s warning is going to get a lot of people killed.

“We were closer than brothers.” How else can anyone take that? What is closer than a familial tie? A romantic one! Duh!

He’s banned from teaching DADA. But he isn’t banned from teaching any other class! Travis should have been more specific! This is probably how Dumbledore ended up teaching Transfiguration during Tom’s time at school since he doesn’t fight Grindels until 1945. I love loopholes!

Are the candles in the Great Hall just lit all the time?

I for one, think that ‘Talk Shit, Get Hit’ is a very wonderful saying to take to heart. So when people were talking shit about Leta, she damn well deserved to tear them a new asshole over it! I applaud her for cursing that gossiping little bitch’s mouth shut in the corridor. She deserved it. I am a blood-thirsty bitch!

Young-Newt literally looked like a young Eddie Redmayne. Superb casting on that part, God damn! He even got all of Eddie’s chosen mannerisms down!

You know, I’m not shocked that Leta’s being harassed by Gryffindors. The whole school treats Slytherins like shit the moment they’re Sorted. Even when they aren’t raised on the magical side and know nothing about Slytherin’s reputation.

I have mentioned how annoying I find the weird fish-eye-like lens view, right? ‘Cause it’s annoying me again.

BTW, I will always firmly believe that Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendships are the strongest. That is a deadly combination right there.

Albus admits that he didn’t love Ariana as much as he should have. Age does somewhat remove that veil from the eyes, doesn’t it?

I really, honestly think that people just decided that anythngn they saw in this movie was going to be horrible and that’s why y’all are being a bunch of whiny bitches over everything. Queenie didn’t just up and decide hey, I’m joining Grindels! She’s honestly at the end of her rope and is getting manipulated. Y’all are fucking ridiculous. Don’t pay for tickets if you intend to find fault in everything the movie has to offer.

The good sis stands up and points her wand at Grindels despite knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to do shit to him. Temerity ftw.

You gotta give Grindels some props. This dude knows how to play on everyone’s soft points. He just sees them and immediately goes in for the kill. Was Voldy like this in the 70s? It makes more sense that people would follow him if he acted like this before ‘dying’ the first time. ‘Cause after his resurrection he wasn’t follow-worthy imo. Too frantic and mad to take seriously.

He literally tells her that she’s an ‘innocent’ and that ‘he doesn’t wish her harm’. He then tells her to leave, which puts her under the impression that she’s safe from him and can make her own choices. This is a prime manipulation tactic because she’ll come back eventually once she remembers that he supposedly gave her a choice and no one else will. She told Jacob he wasn’t giving her a choice, and now Grindels, the supposed bad guy, is doing just that. And he makes it like he understands her suffering in her desire for love without restriction. Even good guys make mistakes. Y’all want to kiss Dumbledore’s ass for every shit thing he did by saying he was trying to save the world, so you can get over Queenie having a lapse of judgment during an emotionally and mentally trying period.

Ah, the Mirror of Erised, in which you see your heart’s greatest desire. And Dumbledore sees him and Grindelwald alone.

Also, I’m just saying that pressing their hands together would have been enough to make the blood mix. Linking their fingers is not necessary at all.

Finally it’s just Grindelwald as he currently is, staring him down with an innocent expression. And Dumbledore’s sad smile is the only thing we see as the scene fades to black.

Newt is so good with creatures, I love him!

Every time he comes out of that case I am reminded of how slight Eddie is.

Newt asks Jacob to get the tweezers from his bag, but after the mishaps in the last film where British and American English were proven to be different to a degree, he goes on to explain what they look like and both Tina and Jacob are like ‘we know what they are, dude’. XD

They disinfect the unconscious dude, Tina gets her info and heads off. And Jacob tries to get her to come back and then looks at Newt and is all, “You didn’t mention salamanders, did you?”. XD

Upon Jacob’s insistence he goes after Tina and tells her she’s different from other Aurors because she’s got Middle Head, in reference to the middle head of a Runespoor which is said to be a Visionary/Dreamer and doesn’t argue like the heads on either side of it. Tina doesn’t want to kill Credence like everyone else which makes her a different kind of Auror.

So that whacky black shroud that covers the city is Grindels’ way of calling his peeps together?

Grindels’ appears before Credence and tells him he ‘wants nothing from him and wants everything for him, that Grindels never had’. He and Dumbles are perfect for each other. Master Manipulators. A certain kind of Dynamic Duo. Grindels even uses the whole ‘my boy’ thing!

The shot is on Jacob. His stomach growls and it pans down and then up. And Flamel is right behind him when it comes back up! Shit like that always gets me in films! The only kind of jumpscare I’m not into. I don’t like my back being exposed so shots like this kill me.

The Flamels don’t keep food in their house. What exactly was the exchange for living so long? Like, I just thought the Stone kept them youthful and stopped their aging, you know? Apparently they have no need of food. Wouldn’t living that long be boring as hell when you can’t even enjoy the basics of life?

“You don’t look a day over 375.” I love Jacob! XD

Seriously though. Nicki looks like he’ll fall apart at any moment. Is living forever like this really worth it?

Nicki “Hasn’t seen action in 200 years,” OMG!

Newt Polyjuices himself into looking like Theseus and calls him ‘an Auror and a hugger’ in this long-suffering but fond tone.

Theseus and Leta are literally right there too!

It was all going so well and then Theseus looks down and isn’t it always like that? The plot must continue on somehow? I’m dying! XD It was a good plan until that happened.

Tina gets him down with a flick of the wand? The War Hero? Really? Good for her!

Newt is such an awkward turtle. I love that they didn’t insist upon Eddie changing up the way he portrays him!

Newt describes Tina’s eyes as “Having and effect in person. Like fire in water, dark water,” and if that isn’t the nicest way to describe dark brown eyes idk what is. HE’S TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SAY THE SALAMANDER LINE! XD

SHE SAID IT INSTEAD! XD How she got that I have no idea. I don’t know shit about salamanders.

And Leta finds them and runs with them. I wonder if Tina is feeling awkward.

He’s known the Zouwu for so little time and it’s already cuddling up to him! The Snow White of fucking wizards, everyone! He is a cinnamon roll and must be kept safe!

Honestly I am proud I kept up with the whole Lestrange family tree business because holy shit it was convoluted!

The Lestranges are so sexist. Only the men get recorded on the family tree, what bullshit. Leta’s father Raped her mother via Imperius and never loved her. Frankly, a child being jealous of a new sibling that he did love shouldn’t be surprising. Kids make mistakes all the time and hating her for making a rash decision she didn’t fully understand at that age, is ridiculous. She didn’t even mean to get him killed. It’s not like she’s some super horrible person for that.

Newt gets this! He literally gets it! And she tells him “You’ve never met a monster you couldn’t love”. I hurt. She’s not a monster, she’s a fucking human being who made a grave mistake when she was like 7 and it haunted her for the rest of her life.

Nagini doesn’t trust Purebloods because, “They kill the likes of us for sport”. Her life must have sucked.

And here’s where is all leads up to. The literal Crimes of Grindelwald. And not in the sense of law-breaking, although there has been a lot of that. The title means in reference to an act of of great offense which isn’t illegal but still considered morally reprehensible, against another person or persons. He’s spent this whole time manipulating the hell out of everyone and doing things both illegal and simply sinful. Lying isn’t against the law, but the way he’s doing it is wrong, and it helps him commit his ‘crimes’.

Also what the hell is with evil people and graveyards/tombs? Is this a requirement in joining the dark side?

Grindels finds muggles “Not disposable but of a different disposition.” He’s really workin’ it because he knows the kinds of people who showed up to this little speech thing of his and he’s getting all of them at once.

He’s literally showing them a vision of what will happen in WWII with the bombs in order to scare them into joining his side. It’s what will ‘rise up’ from the muggles, and Jacob understands it instantly. Scare tactics ftw! He has a point in a sense. Could we really say that the leading governments of our world wouldn’t try to enslave magicals in order to have the most power over all other countries?

The Aurors are called down to face the crowd and Grindels knows just what to say to stir up feelings of distrust. Though they’re cops so it’s not shocking. They’re all power-hungry and with the experience a lot of the people have with Aurors, plus Grindels sweet-talking them all, of course some chick just up and moves against them and get murdered on the spot. Not even detained. Cops kill first and ask questions later, not shocking magic ones do the same.

Auror used an AK without hesitation. But you know, everyone says that is the most evil spell in HP, right? And no one, not even Aurors, should use it?

And as expected, it all plays in Grindels’ plans. I’m not shocked. “Spread the word. It is not we who are violent.” Right after an Auror just murdered someone. Talk about playing on the emotions.

The fire Grindels’ conjures is blue, compared to normal fire. Which means it’s hotter. Voldy’s fire was also blue. Is this just because they’re magically powerful or are both Dark Lords?

Grindelwald uses magic like he’s a conductor. It’s interesting because everyone else but Voldy has only ever had a death grip on their wands. Voldy holds his wand more gracefully and loosely.

Nagini does not side with Grindelwald. And she has a point. He knows what Credence is, not who he is.

Okay, so a lot of people died in the blue fire, but Newt was able to hold the fire off from consuming him several times. My child is so powerful! He’s just never violent with it! *APPLAUSE*

Queenie’s desperation makes me so sad. She and Jacob love each other but go about it very differently.

I can’t tell if Leta was saying ILY to Newt or Theseus. Maybe to both but with different meanings? Romantic Love isn’t the only kind of love out there. One is her long-time friend whom she could have romantic feelings for if their bond is deep enough. The other is her fiance though her bond with him doesn’t seem that deep. Confusing and shot deliberately like that to confuse us too.

She tries to kill Grindels knowing it won’t work. I like Leta. I don’t get why people don’t like her.

He’s literally using his fancy Fiendfyre to destroy Paris. This dude aims big!

Flamel is a genius and a bunch of people, most who aren’t trained Aurors, just had to put out some powerful magic that would have destroyed a whole city.

Newts hugs Theseus!

The Niffler lives and got the Blood Pact thing from Grindels! How did he not notice it?

Queenie’s skills are very useful to Grindels in how to deal with Credence without scaring him off. He knew what he was doing in manipulating her to his side.

Grindels and Dumbles agreed not to fight one another. Wonder what would happen if they turned their wands on each other with intent to do harm. Pain? Or maybe... their spells being directed elsewhere by some unseen force and hitting nearby things(*cough* Ariana *cough*)? 

So here’s where I am confused but I have many thoughts. A.) Percival Dumbledore died some time after 1890 but no date is given. He was in Azkaban during the time and immoral things happen in prison. He could be the father. B.) Kendra Dumbledore died in 1899 and Credence was born ‘circa’ 1901(meaning around that time frame but no specific details are known) so she could have birthed him. Albus wouldn’t know since he wasn’t very present at home and was distant to his siblings. Kendra isn’t actually a Dumbledore but she had the name, Credence doesn’t know the details, and Grindels could have sent the Phoenix in some way. C.) Grindels is just lying altogether but he’s really believable. D.) He used the word ‘brother’ to mean family, like how he addressed the people as his ‘brothers and sisters’. His fellow magical people. So perhaps he meant as in like Credence’s kin. So he could be a child of Aberforth who would be old enough to sire a child(teens do it all the time), or of their Aunt Honoria who could have had a kid for all people know.

Dumbles is the one to tell us all about the Phoenix thing first. Grindels strengthens that fact later on, making it not just some children’s tale. It’s all left to us to wonder if he’s lying about Credence or not.

I observed a lot.

So for the cinematography, it was really well done save for the fish-eye lens crap. I really didn’t like that. But I am a sucker for panning from above. Also clever use of the camera while certain people speak. Angles can do wonders to tell a story.

I thought the plot was very easy to follow. I’ve seen people whine about it not making sense but literally, in stories about multiple people, the POV shifts. A lot. In order to understand why everyone is doing what they are doing, you need to know what is going on from their ends. So yeah, why is everybody just randomly in France of all places? Paying attention lets you find out!

I do have one really big annoyance and it’s more for it taking this long instead of it happening at all. In the original HP films there really aren’t a lot of non-white actors portraying characters, even if they’re just extras to fill in for other students and such. In this film there were extras of all kinds of nationalities. I saw a lot of Black and Asian folks just filling up the background. And I’m glad the universe now seems more realistic and diverse. It’s just annoying that the most diverse of all the films in this fictional world, is the newest one and kinda makes the others a bit disappointing since the 20s were less progressive than the 90s.

My initial opinions on certain characters did change. Naturally I hate Dumbledore as a character no matter what but he’s more interesting than before. And I don’t really like Grindels all that much but he is a badass and watching him is interesting. Theseus and Leta grew on me with such little time. I cried for both of them. I’m disappointed but not shocked or angry at Queenie’s actions. I cried for her too. Flamel creeps me out still. I like Nagini. She’s been through some tough shit and is mildly distrustful of everyone. And now she’s away from possibly her only friend(I got not romance vibes between she and Credence btw).

I liked all the story-telling. There were a lot of creatures. A lot of talking. A decent amount of action. And humor spread out here and there for some levity.

I thought it was a fine film. It was good. I’d re-watch it with the first without hesitation. I had moments where I laughed, moments where I cried, and moments where I wasn’t sure what I was feeling at all.

Grade: A

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 4]

Going into the fourth badge with a full team of six! Rocking!

Here we are:

Puff (Dratini)

Sylarana (Serperior)

Stella (Poliwhirl)

Nessy (Milotic)

Itsy (Cubchoo)

Caspet (Haunter)

Looking like a real squad, guys. Lesgo.

The bridge is still out, so it’s out to the desert we go.

...Ah, it’s the anime hair scientist.

Colress. He invites us to a duel in the desert route.

...I thought it was a joke that this lady just keeps picking fights with me every single time I try to pass through the route, but no. No. That’s what really happens. Ugh.

I can’t remember if Colress is really a bad guy or just a driven scientist guy.

In any case, he has a level 21 Magnemite out first. Nessy is handling it since I have nothing to deal Electric pokemon really and Nessy has a ton of HP. And yay, that doesn’t come back to bite me.

Level 23 Klink up next. Nessy Refreshes and Recovers back to the health the Magnemite took. Taking too long to beat back the Charges, so Sylarana’s going to try to be helpful. And hey, that’s all it takes. Fight done.

Ack, I don’t think this is the sort of place I can do anything with without wireless and the like.

I love how so many business people in this world see a random ten-year-old and decide that they are the best person they could possibly ask for to manage their affairs while they run off doing whatever.

I’m just going to ignore this place and take advantage of the Pokemon Center past it.

Hello, we have a new route.

HELLO!

Oh.

Wait.

...Did I...

Oh crap. I took a break in between catching Puff, so I forgot all about buying poke balls. Aha. Okay then. Okay. We got this. It’ll be fiiiiine. I’ve got two more whole chances to make sure that it’s fiiine.

One try left.

Come on.

You know you want to be on the team, buddy.

...Fine, you don’t. Damn it. Dead route.

...

While we’re here adding injury to insult.

Sorry Sylarana. Maybe naming you after a dead snake from a fanfic was a bad idea after all.

Dead route and dead pokemon.

This is shaping up to be a pretty harsh run.

Okay. Poke Balls bought.

The outside of Desert Resort has Magmar.

I’m just going to casually avoid trainers in the rest of the Resort until I find the castle place, aka new route for new friend.

If only I were actually any good at avoiding trainers. So far I’ve fought two.

Okay, this time, we’re going to keep from losing anyone in the process of getting a new friend. Agreed? Agreed. Awesome.

Oh.

...No can do.

Poliwhirl is one thing, since Poliwhirl can still be Politoed, but I used a Granbull in my Elite Four battles in the first version. Can’t repeat that. Dang it.

Larvitar’s down here as well.

No Sylarana and an Electric Gym next. I need to find a new route.

Route 5, help me out here.

Bianca!

She gives us Fly!

...Do we have anything that can learn Fly?

She also introduces us to Hidden Grottos, which I had forgotten all about and don’t really mean much to Nuzlockes.

I’ll say hi to it. If it’s randomized, this is my catch option, if it’s not, let’s just call Hidden Grottos liminal spaces that don’t have real route significance.

Not randomized. Bye bye Minccino. Now we go explore the grass.

I have a Water team. Yike.

This thing is not proving easy to catch.

But catch it I shall! Your name shall be Frill, and please do not take it personally that I’m going to go to another route to find things.

Oh dear.

Boruto, I expect great things from you. Please do not disappoint.

Meanwhile the next thing I see on this route is an Emboar.

No offense, Boruto, but my journey to find a new route continues.

Help me Obi-wan Keforest. You’re my only hope.

...Don’t I need a Dusk Stone or something to evolve you?

Um. If it keeps using Charge Beam it’s going to kill Nessy.

I can choose to catch it, or I can choose to run.

...Wait, can I run when Bind is used?

No, no I can’t.

Um.

This is.

Distressing.

I feel like I’m watching Nessy die in slow motion.

Heeeeeeeeeey.

Omchomp, welcome.

Hm. I have some choices to make regarding me team, but first thing first, I’m going to raise Boruto a level. There are Basculin and Lampent where we caught him.

Soooooo.

Now there’s the question of what to add to the team. Ninjask is cool as heck, and I’m not opposed to using one. Shedinja is a delightful, chaotic choice for a Nuzlocke. Using both isn’t something I think my team could survive.

...Okay I can’t resist being that stupid. Shedinja, aka Sasuke. Alllll the way.

Sasuke is Sassy and proud of its power. Fitting.

This is such a dumb idea. I can’t wait to watch what happens.

Let’s see... Fire bad. Flying bad. Ghost maybe bad. Psychic maybe bad.

...Fine, so I know what each type is weak against, but not which types the combination spares or makes worse. Making this an even dumber idea than its initial inception made it appear.

We are so doing this.

tfw I finally am playing at a time that gets me on the Royal Unova! Yay!

Boy howdy do I hope they don’t have things that will kill me dead!

Level 16 Pidove.

I think I’m good.

I swear if a move has a possibility of making me flinch it is doing nothing but making me flinch. I cry.

Oki doki.

The team.

Grinding time.

Ha, so since they couldn’t very well complain about the next Gym Leader still not having the bridge open, this time you can’t go left of Nimbasa due to a crowd of happy people. Gah. Being closed in is a lot more annoying when you have a limited number of resources dependent in part on map size.

OH COME ON THAT’S BULLSHIT.

Sigh.

Sorry, Sasuke.

I’d like to say some words, but well. I always knew I wasn’t really equipped to handle such a gimmicky creature on my team, I just thought it would be funny to try. And that I’d last longer. It’s probably just as well, honestly.

...Sorry this is not the emotional farewell everything else is getting. But let’s be real, we knew this would happen, and I didn’t delay it long enough to get invested.

Also your name is Sasuke. We both knew what this was.

Boruto, welcome to the team!

Uh.

Okay, Giga Drain. Not Itsy’s friend.

Noted.

...Give me a break she was still in the damn green and aaaaaaaaaa.

I am not doing well this run, am I?

Go away I can’t catch you. ;-;

I am so sorry, Itsy.

I wish I could say more, since unlike Sasuke I actually like you, but.

This is hecking bad.

Omchomp gets on the team to fill up a slot. I’m not sure I have the resources to properly train her, and I’m collecting too many creatures who I’m not sure I can fully evolve for my tastes.

But that’s how Nuzlockes go, right? You work with what you have.

Back to grinding. Maybe stick more to wild pokemon than trainers.

Cool, Croagunk is also here.

...

Okay look.

I will admit to being a bad trainer.

But one Bite taking out a pokemon at full health is not generally a foreseeable circumstance when super effectiveness isn’t at play.

-clears throat-

STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I am so sorry my friend. We will never know how if I might have succeeded in evolving you. That is a weight off my shoulders, but incomparable to the pain of no longer having you.

Ack.

What a mess.

I have to admit, part of me is hoping that I just wipe at this point. Starting over seems way, way simpler than this as it is. And then I ran into a trainer by accident, and the trainer has a lever 25 Watchdog.

Yeah, this will go well.

Eh, not well, but everything’s alive. I’ll take that. My mission at the moment is just training the heck out of Nessy, because she’s the only thing I can say with confidence probably can’t die to one hit from anything currently available.

Huh, I found an Audino. I’d guess I stumbled into wiggly grass without noticing. That’s cute, it’s actually where it’s supposed to be. ...Scratch that, enough of them are showing up that I’m wondering if it’s some time of day thing.

...So see, I have the problem of going on autopilot while I think.

...tfw Nessy is now level 34 and Caspet is 30.

Screenshots taken moments before disaster.

...Then there’s the return of Mightyena plus a Gengar. Not friendly grass, this. Maybe I need to pick another spot to train stuff.

There’s this one trainer here who won’t fight unless I have a Prop Case, which means I can’t avoid the Musical building forever. Well I can. But that would keep me from battling stuff, sooo.

Magnificent.

And random trainer beaten.

Now what.

Carnival rides to drown our sorrows.

Elesa built herself a new Gym. Her old one is now just roller coasters.

I should probably go to the actual Gym.

?

Ah. A random NPC to let us know that Elesa is in another castle.

Screw it, let’s go to the other castle.

...After finally checking out whatever this is.

Cool. Me and Rosa are going to fight the Subway Bosses. This is the only time this will ever happen in any Nuzlocke ever. Guaranteed.

Yay, we won against the level 26 Gurdurr and Boldore. Despite the horror that is Sturdy rearing its head once more.

Before I go to the Gym, I’m going to head out to the sportsball stadiums and have some fun. Hopeful, optimistic fun where nothing dies.

My solution to all problems now is to throw Nessy at them until they die. With a side of Caspet. The other members of my team are going to gain levels through Exp. Share only, probably. Omchomp is the only one that knows useful stuff and might live through first contact. Puff will one day be mighty indeed, but isn’t yet. Boruto... Boruto’s best move is arguably Leech Life.

Yay, Nessy and Caspet. You two are holding this team together.

That is not your cue to die.

To the Gym.

Ooooh, snazzy. Nicely arranged, Elesa.

She has a level 27 Elekid. Why don’t I have a level 27 Elekid. Or just an Elekid. Elekid is awesome. She also has a level 27 Flaffy. I want that slightly less. It is still of interest.

One mook down. Down the catwalk for another.

The level 27 Flaffy is first this time. Such variety. Then a level 27 Blitzle strikes.

This place has some dang style. Next up is same flavor with Blitzle and Elekid.

Elesa you are clearly amazing but what the actual heck are you wearing.

This is all going to be fine.

We know it’s true because I said so.

Level 28 Emolga out first. Caspet downs it with one Venoshock, then a level 30 Zebstrika takes the stage and panic is felt by all.

Oh lovely. It knows Pursuit. Not taking you out then, Caspet.

This has the makings of pain all over it, but I trust you.

Yay! Another Venoshock did it!

Last up is a level 28 Flaffy. Let’s finish this, Caspet.

Yes!

It was gory and scary, but we did it, gang.

Halfway there.

[tumblunni]

Bellsprout...

It.. So fragile...

Thos feets, so little! Its so thin! Its a literal lil noodle! It sways in the wind so much when it walks, its feet dont even move like feet but more like leeches which are my Favourite Worm for how dumb their mannerisms are. Seriously they go up and balance on their tail and periscope around and then they streeeetch and somersault to reach stuff! Theyre like actual living slinkies except they go up the stairs too! Bellsprout's rooty weirdness has that same kind of animation in its walk cycle, but the bizarre speculative idea of a monster made of like four worms all tied to another worm for a torso?? Its just so goofy how itll streeeeetch out the one wiggle foot and periscope it around too even tho it doesnt have eyes so its more like i guess its just very uncertain balancing on its squiggles and uses the roots on the end to detect whether the ground is stable? But then after the slow step of introspection before walking its just like PITCH FORWARD AND BECOME A BICYCLE! rapid flailing legs maximum speed like that basilisk lizard that runs on water! Its like its scared itll pitch forward if it ever stops? And then it does a little balance wiggle at the end and its just so cuuuuuute!

And AAAA its other animations when its not walking too! Its SO FRAGILE!! i want to protect you my baby!! It wiggles in such a cute battle dance cos it struggles to stand upright aaaa! Its head is so big and like all of its organs are in there NO WONDER its so wiggly flop! And its feets and hands are just so weak but it tries so hard!! It must be like a tiny bug landing on your hand or someone thwapping you with a singular taglitelle. And the leafs are even cuter cos theyre animated so..damn.. FRAGILE! everything is so soft in this art style aaaagh its killing me!! "I'm a powerful monster" nooo you are made of hugs and sunshine with the very barest shreds of physical form. But aaaa bellsprout is trying so hard it has so much personality like i wanna support it in being strong and scary and tell it someday it really does become badass and also able to fly for no easily explained reason! But THE LEAFS! OKAY THE LEAFS!! They're so much flatter and thinner than i expected? Like theyre just super generic primary coloured children's show doodles of leafs and the anime never really drew them with a good sense of 3D movement and width and stuff. I dunno if the models in sun and moon really showed a similar thing cos i never used a bellsprout? But i know this art style is just suuuuch a pretty fusion of the realistic shading in Go and the cartoon aesthetic of the main games that i'll wanna catch every pokemon for the first time ever! ITS LEAFS ARE LIKE TISSUE PAPER THIN SOMEONE PROTECT THIS CHILD!!! aaa and the wiggle animation is so cute cos they bend at angles in a sort of S-pattern like waving a fan in fancy style? Or i guess like how you might imagine wings to work if they only had one feather. Bellsprout is such an interesting well executed speculative biology idea and i never even realized before!!

And of course its BIG DOPEY FACE!! seriously its so cute how just adding two dots to a pitcher plant instantly makes it an awkward cute version of a horse head. THEY SOMEHIW MADE A NON SCARY SEVERED HORSE HEAD ON A STRING. I CAN NEVER UNSEE THIS NOW!! And then it has a mouth on the end of the nose and again this sounds terrifying when i put it in words but in actuality its FUCKIN AMAZING GOOFBALL SNOOTBEAN!! Just.. Lil dot eyes and really long face and then a big goofy happy smile at the end and aaaawwwwwww bebby

Oh man now im remembering why i didnt like bellsprout as a kid! I think it was entirely cos its evolutions changed to being just the head and then not having a mouth anymore even. And the grumpy badass eyes instead of bean! Tho as an adult i can appreciate that it must have taken a lot of effort to find a way to badassify such a goofy concept! And i feel proyd of bellsprout growing up to be the apex predator of the jungle who eats tigers n stuff. U go bebby u achieve u dream!! But still the wiggly noodle feets were SO CUTE and the bean eyes were SO CUTE and its a shame theyre the two things that go. Even if it does possibly make sense that the feets are so vestigal if its just a temporary stage before it learns how to fly. I mean birb feet are little? Tho they dont outright lose them when they grow up. Tho a birb that was just a limbless orb with a grumpy face like victreebell would actually be real cute! MAN IM GOING SO OFFTOPIC

Anyway in summary Let's Go has made me appreciate Bellsprout more and i am no longer sad that i cant get oddish in this version. Tho i still find it super cute in this art style TOO and i wish i could hug both the classic plant bebbys! Smoochie smorch u r my cat now and i will feed u all the snacks here is your scratching post and fluffy bed. OH YEAH THAT REMINDS ME did you guys see the drifloon that sleeps in a dog bed in sun and moon?? Its in ilima's house! I like to headcanon that maybe its the ghost of his mom's stoutland in the picture? Cos why would a family of normal type specialists have a drifloon? PRIME GAME THEORY YEAH! oh and the magnemite in a cat bed in one of the hotels i think?? Also Prime Bebby. Please consider all these good friends. And also imagine my super beloved bellsprout who shall be joining them soon! Seriously aaaa i went from neutral opinion on this pokemon to WHY CANT IT BE THE STARTER WHY CANT IT SIT ON MY HEAD within like FIVE SECONDS OF GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE

Godddd im so excited to see more footage of more mons so my heart can explode again and again! Im gonna straight up die from the power of these cuties!

[btsimaginefactory]

BTS Daycare AU

Running a daycare out of your house can’t be too hard, can it? You wish you could say that at this point. When some of your mother’s co-workers talked about wanting a smaller, more personal care experience for their children, she proposed the idea to you. Not too many kids? Yes, please. You don’t even have to leave your house? Sweet! Getting paid weekly? Even sweeter! But you could’ve never imagined just how much these little boys would teach you and how much they’d turn your life into the messiest adventure.

Jin 

The eldest; the drama queen

This kid is low-key the boss okay.

Never fails to make a little situation into the apocalypse.

He was super shy for the first week, not straying from your side, but after that, he becomes the main attraction.

Takes his role as the eldest very seriously and he LOVES to baby the youngest ones.

Can be a little bossy, and gets rather upset when the others don’t do what he tells them, thinking he knows what is absolutely best for them. He is correct most of the time…

Prefers imaginative games instead of brain games; the world is his stage.

One of his favorite activities is helping make snacks or lunch for everyone.

The term “tattle-tail” has been thrown around a little *cough*

Sings seriously when he thinks no one is watching but refuses to sing anyway other than goofy when they all sing together.

Also, you can tell if he doesn’t like what he is eating because he won’t be humming; he ALWAYS hums as he eats.

Yoongi 

The sloth; the rule breaker

(You were all expecting this, and it’s 100% just facts)

The kid who is always sleeping. He can sleep anywhere, and you can find him in the most hilarious places and positions.

Makes a big gummy smile on command, not understanding why it gets such a reaction from people.

This being said, he pays close attention to what reactions he gets from good vs bad behavior.

Says “I’m hungry” but when you call him to eat he doesn’t want to move.

Enjoys music time the most, ranging from banging drums too loudly, to very seriously playing the keyboard.

Although soft-spoken most of the time, he makes the other boys laugh more than anything else.

The quiet cuddle bug, who gets explosively mad if you wake him in any way other than peacefully.

Hoseok 

The glowing flower; the wiggler

This boy is so polite.

The first day he is hesitant, but after only a few minutes, he is a big ball of sunshine.

Cheers on the other boys whenever they do anything.

Dances to any music, and is the wiggly one when told to sit still.

He has to have a mat mate for nap time.

Easily cries when he does something wrong or thinks he has.

THE HONEST TO A FAULT DUO WITH JIMIN.

As loud as Namjoon can get, Hoseok is infinitely louder, and 90% of the time. In public, though he is the one shushing everyone else.

He prefers to fall asleep in someone’s arms and usually needs someone to stroke his back or hair to get to sleep.

Get’s nervous about being himself and sharing his own needs.

Namjoon

The natural born leader; the reader

He is a wiggly baby with Hoseok. He is almost always moving in some way, even when sitting still.

The others tend to follow him around like little ducklings, drawn to his natural leadership, but it can get him angry sometimes when they won’t leave him alone when he wishes.

Doesn’t understand the term “inside voice”. The more excited he gets, the louder he gets.

Cries when he gets really mad; the classic, “I’M NOT CRYING!”

The one who always gathers everyone up when you are trying to get them in a group.

Has a bit of a hero complex, and likes to play the hero in most games.

Loves reading to everyone, and helping teach the others to read.

Sometimes he goes off on his own without anyone knowing until they suddenly realize he is missing.

Thinks he is grown and has a giant soft spot for the youngest, Jungkook.

Jimin

The sweetheart; the lover boy

THE HONEST TO A FAULT DUO WITH HOSEOK.

The one everyone wants to be around but he can’t figure out why.

This boy is the quiet sweetheart who captures your heart in seconds.

Comes up with the best stories to tell.

He is always cleaning up after the others.

Loves to “deliver” lunch and snacks to everyone.

So physically active, it tires you to just watch him.

He always wants to draw or paint and encourages the other boys to express themselves creatively.

Creative genius.

His favorite game is dress-up, and he takes it so seriously it’s amazing.

Sticks to Taehyung like glue, but trusts Namjoon most in a crisis.

Sometimes he gets fussy for seemingly no reason, although a frequent reason is not getting enough attention and praise.

Taehyung

The family puppy; the happy go-lucky boy

This cutie is always pretending to be a dog. Puts a collar on and everything, taking the role so seriously.

The “what do you mean I don’t have enough money?” kid.

He cannot comprehend why things in the world work the way they do instead of the way he declares them to be.

DOODLES ON EVERY SURFACE… paper, books, walls, floors- it’s all fair game.

Adamantly goes to sleep on his own, insisting he doesn’t need anyone else because he’s a “big boy”, but he always ends up on someone else’s with them.

Plays dumb a lot to get out of trouble, but has moments of pure genius that leave everyone stunned.

The kid who runs in every day, barreling in and ready to start the day with a smile.

He gets lost a lot because he doesn’t pay attention and runs off.

Gets into yelling matches with Hoseok.

Always has to play an animal, hardly ever a human.

Jungkook

The baby; the bottomless pit

The small baby boy who loves to be THE baby.

The others keep trying to teach him dirty words, sigh….

HE IS ALWAYS HUNGRY???? How can he hold so much inside him?

Also, he is always on the move. Getting him to settle down for a nap is a job in and of itself.

Also… he is always almost killing himself or everyone else; you gotta keep an eye on him.

He has the shortest attention span, but we’re working on it.

Prefers playing outside, no matter the weather.

He communicates more with sounds and short phrases that full sentences. I think his vocabulary just isn’t big enough yet for him to express himself through words.

If someone else is crying, he is going to cry; no hesitation. He especially cries when anyone is fighting in front of him.

Gives everyone the smug grin as he is being picked up and held, more than obvious to the others he got out of something bad he did because of his cuteness.

{{I am so 100,000% going to continue this AU because I’ve been wanting to for ages, whether it be in a fanfic or comic or drabbles blah blah, so I hope you enjoy it! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH💗💘💗 - Admin Chaejeong}}

[shadowthorne]

heya! i know you have a few snakes, and i'm really hoping to get a (mex black king)snake this summer, so i was wondering if you have any tips on finding a good breeder? and i wanna go to a rept convention, but im not sure if that's a safe place to get a healthy snake? anything helps really! love you as always!

I genuinely have no idea when you sent this ask… So I hope it was recent… OTL My notifications said I had two messages in my inbox and I have five I don’t remember, so??? 

But anyway!! 

Reptile conventions/expos can be good places to get animals, you just have to know what you’re looking for and how to identify a sick animal. I kind of prefer them, because I like being able to see the snake in person before I buy it, but I’m kind of old fashioned from being, well, old (compared to others in my generation lol). If you do go that route, and honestly it’s a great experience even if you don’t actually buy a snake from the expo, always handle the animal you want to buy first. The breeder should ask you to sanitize your hands, if they don’t, then they’ve been letting everyone who’s handled other, potentially sick animals, handle theirs and potentially spread germs. Sometimes that’s an issue, sometimes it’s not. For things like URI (the most common illness in snakes) it’s probably not going to be too big of an issue; URI is sort of like a cold, but much more dangerous for a snake, it takes prolonged exposure to catch, so once you get the animal home, in a clean and healthy environment, the odds of it catching URI are low unless it was actively housed with other sick animals in the breeders’ shop. The next thing to look out for is the condition of the animal you’re looking at, as well as the other animals on the table. If the snake you’re looking at is healthy, but the others around it look off/sick, the breeder probably isn’t taking great care of his/her animals, I wouldn’t support them. ASK QUESTIONS. Breeders can tell when they’re talking to or looking at a first time owner vs someone who’s done this before, and that’s fine. Be aware that some breeders are going to try to take advantage of that, so know what you want to ask and be prepared to be pressured. A good breeder will NOT pressure you into anything. The more willing to politely answer ten million questions they are, the more likely you found a good breeder.

Things to look for and ask, whether you’re at an expo or not;

How old is the snake? There’s no particular age to avoid, but for a first time owner, older is better. Neonates are fragile and can be finicky. I would avoid anything under a month or two. If you can find one that’s five or six months old, even better.

How many meals has this animal taken vs how many have they skipped? Skipping meals is uncommon for babies, but especially so when it comes to King snakes. If the snake is skipping meals regularly, no matter how healthy it looks, avoid it. An experienced keeper would probably be ok, but it is SO STRESSFUL trying to get a snake to eat again. Don’t do that to yourself. It can also be an indication that something is seriously wrong with the animal, even if it doesn’t show externally. In some cases, it takes literal years for problems to show externally.

It’s also always good to ask WHAT the snake is eating; frozen/thawed vs live, what size/age/type of feeder, etc.

When looking at the snake, look for dry, stuck shed. It will look something like this or this. A lot of people will try to pass it off as normal and healthy, whether out of their own ignorance or playing off yours, it is NOT. This means that the animal is regularly dehydrated and living in an unfitting environment. This is an issue that can be fixed, but if it’s a regular thing, it can come with other health issues too. If the breeder/owner says it’s normal, avoid it for sure. If they admit that it’s a bad shed because of some sort of stress (ie; transportation or animal, or breeder being out of town or something) than it’s up to your judgement. If they seem like they’re being honest and other animals look good, it’s probably safe. Extreme cases will look dried out and wrinkly, like this. If it looks like this, don’t get it no matter the excuse. This is a sign of prolonged dehydration, which can and will kill the animal.

Look at the overall body condition of the animal; is it too skinny? (identified by a triangular body shape, prominent spine or ribs in extreme cases, prominent jaw/head bones, etc. In king snakes, this should be VERY rare, they’re good eaters lol if I was getting a king snake and it looked like that picture, I wouldn’t buy it because there are probably other issues, like it’s not eating or has parasites or something) Is it too fat? (Identified by an extremely round body shape, sides are soft rather than muscular, when curled, there will be ‘rolls’ at the bends as show in bottom portion of the photo linked above, an obvious dip or ‘hips’ between body and tail, etc. This will be more common in king snakes, and is a sign that they’re over fed and under stimulated in the enclosure. If it’s not exceptionally extreme, it’s totally fixable with a diet and exorcise just like in any other animal but if prolonged, can lead to other health issues) Sometimes ‘obese’ can just be poop…. If the tail looks really skinny compared to the body, but it’s only too fat in the bottom third of the animal, it’s probably just brewing a really big poop for you when you get it home :D At a healthy weight, you should be able to easily identify the muscle along the spine, where the ‘neck’ is, and the body should slope into the tail. 

Are the eyes and mouth clear? The mouth should close more or less seamlessly; if you see any funny shapes that make it look like it’s not shutting right, it’s probably mouth rot which comes with URI and all kinds of other nasty stuff. You also shouldn’t be able to hear it breathe.

Look at how the snake acts; is it lethargic or alert? King snakes are active animals, it should probably be pretty wiggly and want to move around when you’re trying to hold it. If it’s lethargic or limp, there’s something wrong.

Check the scales; they should be smooth and shiny (unless in blue/shed). The belly scales should flat and undamaged. Scale rot and burns will be found on the belly; these are signs of poor husbandry and neglect. If they’re not extreme, it’s not a huge detriment to the future health of the animal. Snakes are amazingly resilient and heal from amazing damage. But I wouldn’t want to support a breeder who lets these things happen, ya know. In MBKs, these things might be harder to spot because of the color of the scales; look/feel for rough edges or weird textures.

Look for mites; they’re very small and hard to see, especially on a black snake. They’ll be easiest to find near the mouth, nostrils and the fold of skin under the chin. You may not know about it until after you get the animal home. It’s not a big deal. If the snake has mites, it’s not the worst thing in the world. They can be treated, but it can be a pain to deal with. They’ll look like little specks against and between scales; X, X, X. If the snake is sitting in the water bowl a lot, it can be a sign of mites, but not necessarily. If you happen to see them before you buy the animal, you can choose to not buy it, or talk to the breeder about it. They might work a deal with you, or give you something to treat the problem, etc. 

As for finding a good breeder NOT at an expo; you just really have to do your research. Ask around, look at reviews, contact the person and ask your questions. Trust your gut when talking to them. Facebook groups can be good resources to find breeders, but keep in mind that facebook is full of people with extremely outdated information and/or ignorance. The only person I know of who is breeding MBKs is @i-m-snek. She recently got a breeding pair and is expecting eggs. Even if her eggs are already spoken for or the breeding doesn’t pan out, she might be a good person to ask about breeders.

Hopefully this helps, if you have other questions or would like better explanations, let me know!

[imjustthemechanic]

The French Mistake

Part 1/? - A Visitor Part 2/? - The Kulturhistorisk Museum Heist Part 3/? - Cutscene Part 4/? - The Marvel Cinematic Universe Part 5/? - Breathless Part 6/? - Escape at Last Part 7/? - Fox in Socks Part 8/? - Things Go Wrong Part 9/? - Downey and Out Part 10/? - Road Trip Part 11/? - Temptation Part 12/? - An Awful Reunion Part 13/? - Unreality Intrudes Part 14/? - A Call for Help Part 15/? - Loki’s Guests Part 16/? - Stan Lee Cameo Part 17/? - Reassessment Part 18/? - Midnight Invasion Part 19/? - Elevator Fight Part 20/? - Courage Part 21/? - Unwelcome Back Part 22/? - Darkest Hour Part 23/? - They Are Here Part 24/? - The Jet Propulsion Laboratory Part 25/? - Word of God Part 26/? - Avengers Assembled Part 27/? - The Houston Underground Part 28/? - Houston has a Problem Part 29/? - Onward and Upward Part 30/? - The Chi’Tauri Queen

They meet the Chi’Tauri Queen.  She’s a bit bigger than they expected.

It was no longer possible to see Natasha and Loki, of course, but since he and Thor had arrived just fine, Steve figured he could assume they were okay, also.  With the vehicle docked there was only a tiny bit of light coming in around the edges of it, and he had to let his eyes adjust – another thing this body did slower than his own.  The walls were close in around them, and overhead was a tunnel made of overlapping rings so it could flex as the Leviathan flew.  From this, a set of rungs lowered to lock onto the control column. These were spaced very wide by human standards, but they were obviously a ladder.

“‘Fist bump’?” asked Thor, holding one up.  The inverted commas were audible around what he considered a quaint Midgardian expression.

“Sure, okay.”  Steve completed the gesture, then looked up again and took a deep breath.  “Here we go,” he said.  He already had visions of those plates suddenly contracting, crushing him to a bloody pulp.

Climbing was a difficult, disorienting experience, with the walls moving around them and the rungs designed for a creature with a much longer reach.  Thor went first, struggling around the walls for a moment before he managed to get in time with their rhythm.  Steve tried to copy his timing as he followed.  His bad ankle continued to be very upset about his insistence on using it, and threatened to collapse out from under him at any moment, but Steve didn’t trust himself to maintain his hold with only one foot on the moving ladder.

Thor made it to the top, and squatted down to help Steve out.  Then they looked around.

It was even darker up here, and very warm, with moving air that had an odd chemical smell to it and a constant sound of things sliding against each other, making a variety of whispery or slippery noises.  The first image that occurred to Steve was of being inside a large, sleeping animal. He squinted, trying to see something besides occasional soft glints on surfaces in motion, then there was a flare of light off to his right.  It was Natasha – she and Loki had climbed out of the next tunnel, and she had turned on a small LED flashlight.  Steve made eye contact with her, and they both nodded.  Everybody okay so far.

Around them there was very little to be seen, besides the moving walls and empty spaces that looked like they could store weapons or equipment.  Then Nat pointed the flashlight up.

For a moment Steve wasn’t sure what he was seeing, whether it was one creature or several and even which way up it was. Then his brain managed to sort out the parts, and he realized that the being hanging from the ceiling above them could only be the Chi’Tauri queen.

While her soldiers wore only very basic armor, the queen was covered nearly from head to toe in grayish gold plates with a matte surface finished, interrupted by embossed silver and multicoloured gems worked into shapes that looked like intestines, or like squirming maggots – wiggly, segmented designs that suggested biology in the most repulsive possible way.  It was obviously of luxurious make, far more decorative than that of the grunts, but it was also perfectly functional to protect its wearer.

Worse, that wearer was huge.  Standing, she might have been twelve feet tall, with two legs like tree trunks and four arms, one set above the others.  She had four eyes, too, and was looking down at them from her perch on the ceiling, as surprised to see them as they were to see her.

For a split second, nobody moved.  Then the queen reached down, and tried to grab Natasha.

Natasha responded by pouring out the contents of her fire extinguisher.  The queen shrieked and snatched her hand back, steaming ice all over her gauntlet. Then she lashed out again, with the lower arm on the same side.  She knocked the extinguisher out of Nat’s hand and slammed her into the wall, while letting go of the ceiling with her other limbs and dropping to stand in front of them.  The space inside the Leviathan was narrow and in constant motion, like being inside a heaving submarine, and she seemed to fill it entirely.  She hissed at them.

Thor turned Steve towards the front and pushed him. “Go find the wormhole machine!” he ordered.

“But…” Steve began.  He looked over at Natasha, who picking herself up, shaking her head as if dazed.  The flashlight was lying a yard away, and suddenly went out as the queen’s huge foot came down on it, crushing it.

“You were the one who told us to leave you behind on the ground,” said Thor.  “The rest of us will deal with the queen, as we planned!”

Steve didn’t want to go.  He didn’t want to leave Natasha behind, not after all the times when she had refused to leave him.  Thor and Loki were not as strong as they were used to being, and might not be up to this… but then again, neither was Steve, and he was injured.  They were more up to it than he was.  That was why he’d given himself the job of getting the wormhole machine in the first place.  It was too late to change his mind now.

So he turned and half-walked, half-crawled up the moving tunnel, about a dozen feet high and a dozen feet wide, towards the front of the Leviathan.  There were more holes along the floor for the troops to climb in and out, and racks further up where they could store weapons.  These even had a few of the plasma rifles in them.  Steve looked back, but between the darkness and the constantly moving structure he could no longer see the others.  He would just have to hope they noticed the weapons in storage, too.

Surely they would.  They were smart and observant and it had served the whole team well in the past.  Yet Steve felt like he really should do something.

He continued to move forward, his steps unsteady as the walls flexed and the ceiling and floor bowed up and down.  How in the world had Stark managed to just fly right through this thing?  Had he gotten his computers to chart him a safe course?  Or had he just gritted his teeth and hoped for the best?  Either way, Steve had a new respect for something that had been so quickly done and over with at the time.

Behind him he heard plasma rifle fire.  That was good, it meant they had gotten the weapons.  It was followed, less reassuringly, but a human-sounding cry of pain. Steve forced himself to keep moving. If he looked back, he might see them, and if he saw them and they were losing, he would want to go back and help. He couldn’t do that.

At the very front of the Leviathan was the mouth, closed but with daylight coming in around the teeth.  On either side of it, two more of the flexible ladders led up. Steve dragged himself up one, and found himself in what he could only describe as the cockpit.

On the left and right were two small round areas with multiple controls above and below a holographic view screen not unlike something Stark might have dreamed up.  Below the main image of the ground below them, multiple small circles were swarming like bugs.  These were mostly pinkish-purple, but every so often they lit up white as they crossed something of interest.  Those had to be gunnery turrets, or some equivalent, Steve decided.  In between was the main control area.  It had a wide panel across the front, covered with buttons and switches and a steering device with two handles, similar to the ones on the smaller vehicles.  Above was a big screen showing the sky ahead, and several smaller ones on each side with other points of view – including one with a map of the stars.

That was a start.  The wormhole machine had to be in here somewhere.  This was where they controlled everything else about the Leviathan’s movement, so it made sense it would also be where they decided what universe they were in.

He was working his way down the control panel, trying to decide if he could tell what anything on it did, when something crackled.  The big view screen minimized, and a different popped up. While the view ahead presumably came from some equivalent of a camera, it was at first hard to tell what could be sending this one.  It was a view inside a room with office chairs around a big wooden table.  A group of humans, six or eight of them, were cowering in a corner, having pulled some of the chairs close around them into a makeshift and rather ineffective barricade.  The view darted back and forth, and then Steve noticed that the tip of a staff weapon was visible at the bottom edge of it, and he realized – he was seeing through the commander’s eyes.

An arm reached out and grabbed a man from behind the barricade – an elderly, balding fellow with a bushy silver mustache and reading glasses hooked into the collar of his polo shirt.  The other hostages tried to hold onto him, but could not, and the staff weapon came up and poked into the side of his head.  The man covered his face, sobbing.

“Watch this, Avengers!” said the rasping voice of the alien.

It was going to kill the hostages, Steve thought. It was going to kill them in order to punish Steve and the others for interfering in their mission, and there was nothing he could do about it.  He was, again, powerless.  He looked at the controls below him, wondering if there were some way to send a message, some way to call him off, but he didn’t know what any of it did.  The only thing he recognized was the steering.

The structure of the Leviathan shook, as if something heavy were being thrown around inside it.  Steve hoped that was the queen dying, and not one of the others being crushed.

He couldn’t let the hostages die, though. What were his options?  The Chi’Tauri would stop when their connection to the queen was severed, but he had no idea how the fight was going and it might be going badly.  The only other idea he had was to get back to the ground as fast as he could.  After a moment’s hesitation, Steve seized the steering handles.  It took a great effort to get them to start moving, but once he’d overcome the initial resistance they seemed to work smoothly enough.  He turned it to the left and angled it down into a dive, heading for the building with the damaged front façade.        

“Steve!” shouted Natasha.  He glanced to the side to see her climbing up into the cockpit next to him.  There was blood on her hair and a big cut down one side of her face, with more blood staining her t-shirt.  “What the hell are you doing now?” she demanded.

“They’re going to kill the hostages!” he replied.

Nat probably had something to say in response to that, but there was a crash, another cry, and Thor and Loki scrambled into the cockpit to join them.  For a moment Steve was reassured to think that if they were running from the queen, the entrances were not big enough to admit her.  Then, however, there was a clunk and a grinding sound, and the back wall of the cockpit began to open.

Loki dropped the staff weapon he was holding and grabbed a ring in the wall, trying to force it closed again.  Thor, his clothes half torn off and his chest covered in bloody scratches, joined him, but they were not strong enough.  The queen stuck one arm through, then another, and used her broad shoulders to force it open all the way.  Thor and Loki let go, and dropped to the floor on either side of her.

“Freezing didn’t work?” asked Steve.

“You know those force fields?  She’s got a personal one.”  Nat replied.  “Once she realized the nitrogen could hurt her she turned it on, and it can apparently deflect the spray.  It’s on her belt!”  She pointed to a big gem in the centre of the queen’s wide chain-link belt, which was glowing shimmering pink to match the hint of colour in the air around her.

“All right,” said Steve.  “Somebody has to…”

“You fly the damn ship,” said Natasha.  “Since you seem to think you can!”

Steve looked back up at the display, and realized they were moments from hitting the building.  He cranked the controls back again, and the Leviathan headed towards the sky.  On the screen that represented what the commander was doing, there was a flash of motion, and then the view turned to see the Leviathan’s tail pass by a blown-out wall at the far end of the room.  They were still in there, Steve realized.  There were people still in that building and he’d nearly rammed a Leviathan right through it.

“Lift me up!” Nat ordered.  And without giving Steve a chance to obey, she began climbing onto his shoulders.

“Ow!” he said.

“Sorry,” she said, and grabbed a handle in the ceiling to swing herself on to the Chi’Tauri queen’s shoulders.

Steve let go of the controls to turn and watch, but when he did, the Leviathan immediately began to lose altitude again. He grabbed the column to correct it, and realized that he was now stuck having to fly this thing.  The initial resistance he’d overcome to change its course must have represented turning off some kind of autopilot, and he had no idea how to turn it back on.

The queen was partway through the entrance, trying to grab Loki and Thor, who had backed up against the walls to avoid her. Loki had a staff weapon and Thor a fire extinguisher, and they were using those to swat at the questing fingers. When Natasha landed on her back, the queen reached up with a third arm to grab her around the middle, and brought her down to snarl at her face to face.  Her other two arms continued to engage the Asgardians.  One yanked the staff out of Loki’s hands.  Another slammed Thor against a wall.

They were all trapped.

[fallen029]

Remember Me: Twists and Turns.4

Previous Chapter

Over at her aunt's house, Kai and Marin set to work on getting the living room of the small apartment ready for their night spent in it. That involved pillows and blankets and stuffed animals as well as shoving the table and couch out of the way to make even more room. Usually they would make a fort as well, but Kai was too busy to work out the logistics, he claimed, because he had to get to work on the cube.

"Ravan could arrive at any minute," he explained to Lisanna over their dinner of rice and weenies. "I have to finish it as soon as possible!"

"Is being a...bow boy," Lisanna said with a bit of a frown at the last part, "really that bad?"

"You have no idea," he insisted. "It's terrible. I'd rather listen to Erza go on and on about the importance of magic or reading and writing or even herself. Anything, but that."

Marin giggled into her palm as they sat around the tiny kitchen table. "Erza does talk a lot."

"More than me," Kai added.

"I," Lisanna sighed as she mostly made sure Ajax ate more food than he played with, "wouldn't go that far."

Ajax went to bed not soon after dinner and Lisanna informed the two of them that, like always, they could stay up as late as they wanted, but to not be too loud, okay? So that they didn't wake the toddler.

This really only meant they'd stay up for about an hour or so longer though as both Kai and Marin were strong believers in the power of sleep. So by eight, they were both snuggled down into their respective sides of the huge pallet they'd made, Kai with a flashlight as he flipped through the notes Lucy had left him after, once more, he'd ruined the progress he was making on his cube.

Then, with a sheepish grin, he tumbled over the pillows, stuffed animals, and blankets to land beside his best friend and hand the sheet of paper over to her to read aloud to him. It was only once he was snuggly in his spot once more than she began to read it to him though, going over how to set his cube properly before the white cross portion.

Marin fell asleep not soon after that though, leaving Kai to try and figure things out on his own. He felt it in his stomach. This unshakable sensation of just being right and victorious and it was going to happen. He was going to solve the cube. And Ravan was going to lose. Bow boy? No way. Not Kai. Never Kai again! Then he was going to go on his first job with Ravan and he was going to bring home lots of jewels and treat Marin, Erza, and Mrs. Master to dinner for being so great to him while he was still a boy. 'cause after his job he was going to be a man.

He was sure Elfman would agree.

This puzzle cube was his gateway to manhood and he could feel in his chest that it was getting solved that night!

Err, his stomach.

Err, it wasn't feeling so great after all.

Uh, actually, the feeling had nothing to do with the cube. He just had to go to the bathroom.

It was only after he was done in there though and heading back to the living room that he heard a noise from the front door. For some reason this triggered Kai's flight or fight response and, as it was turning out, he was flight all the way. Rushing then, he dove into his part of the pallet and pulled the blankets tight up around his head, holding his breath.

There wasn't anything to be afraid of though. It was only Bickslow, keying into the house hardly even late at all, really. Still, Kai stayed hidden, feigning sleep. It wasn't like he was afraid of Bickslow or anything though.

"Damn it!"

Or maybe only a little.

The seith hadn't been expecting the layout to be so altered in the living room and stumbled over the new position of the coffee table. When he realized what had happened, he only grumbled as his babies that floated around snickered and flickered their green light in the darkness.

This was enough to summon Lisanna, apparently, from the bedroom where she came out of just to tell him that he was being too loud which got her griped back at and wow, Kai sure was glad he was staying super quiet.

If Ravan and Haven's fights had taught him anything (admittedly, not much), it was that being an innocent bystander was never a good thing.

Oddly enough, neither was taking sides…

"You're telling me to be quiet and to not wake them up when you telling me that is gonna be what wakes them up," Bickslow complained to his wife as, with more care then, he stepped through the maze of bedding strewn across his living room floor. "Why are they here anyways?"

"Why are they ever here? And I could have told you that they were if I could ever find you-"

"I was out training."

"You were not."

"What do you mean? Huh? I wasn't? How do you know?"

"You were out drinking again."

"Prove it."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"You fucking reek, Bickslow. Plus, Ever told me that you and Elf-"

"I was with your brother then, so see? What's the big deal?"

"I'm not saying it is a big deal," she defended. "I just said you were, then you lied and said you were training-"

"That was not the order of events."

"Either way, you lied. So what difference does it make?"

He was beat.

So he quit playing.

"Lissy, I can't do this right now. I'm going to bed."

"Not smelling like that you're not."

"Whatever." And he had to step over the kids again as he headed over to where they'd shoved the couch. Plopping down on it still in his full getup, all his dolls slowly fell to his chest. "I'll go to couch then."

And she made a face at him in the darkness, which he returned in the soft green glow of his dolls, before she went off, away from him, back to the bedroom. Alone.

Kai wasn't sure what all else went on though, as he hid beneath the covers, 'cause he kind of sorta conked out after a minute or so and it was probably for the best, honestly. Not only did he not care to hear the argument, he also was pretty likely to giggle at some point and reveal himself.

He just couldn't help it.

Mr. Bickslow was super funny to him.

And pretty creepy at times too. When he awoke in the middle of the night to the man snoring on the couch, with his mask off, the moonlight allowed Kai to see the man's face tattoo and the fact his tongue was dangling out of his mouth also let him see his guild marking and, fine, Kai was no looker, but dang the man looked downright bizarre.

The next morning when Marin shook Kai awake, it was to find that the couch was no longer occupied and the house was abuzz. There was music playing and the sound of Ajax's laughter as well as the sound of Bickslow's wooden babies nonsensically singing along. They weren't alone in this though as, frequently, Bickslow would loudly belt out a stanza or two and it was the way it always was again, the night before forgotten.

Kai did notice one thing though.

"Where'd Lisanna go?" he asked as, in the kitchen, he found Bickslow making everyone breakfast.

"Eh?" Snickering at the question, the seith simply said, "Away from here. For a bit. And then she'll be back. For a bit. Then away again. Yeah? Like us all."

This made Marin frown some, but Kai nodded because it was true. You went away and came back. Then you go away again. Ebb and flow.

Like waves.

And he really liked waves.

After breakfast, Bickslow showered and got Ajax ready while Marin and Kai cleaned up the mess they'd made of the living room. Err, well, Marin took to trying her hardest (folding blankets was harder than it looked) while Kai sat around and toyed with his cube some more, but she knew that if the roles were reversed and there was a chance she was gonna have to play arrow boy for Ravan, he'd do anything he could to stop that from happening to her.

"What you got there, kid?"

"What you got?" five voices repeated. "What you got?"

Kai glanced up at Bickslow as he came over before saying simply, "A puzzle cube. But I can't be bothered by you right now! I have to focus."

"Focus, huh?"

"Yeah," he repeated as his eyes went back to his cube. "Focus."

He felt the man's heavy gaze for a long few moments before, with a bit of a sigh, Bickslow turned away from him and that was that.

Kai went with Marin back home to her house, following along the silly acting Bickslow who was entertaining his equally as silly son. Marin just followed along, not seeming too giddy or too focused on anything, honestly.

The walk, at least, was quick.

"Marin," Haven greeted, sort of, when they came into the living room to find her having just arrived back from her training with Laxus it seemed. "Kai. ...Bickslow. You guys should see the new spell I learned."

"I really don't want to," Kai told her as Marin, just from the thought, fled to the kitchen. It was in there that she found her father glancing over the paper at the table and her mother making him his late breakfast. Surprisingly though, Lisanna was there as well, at the table.

"Daddy!" Marin rushed right over, practically forcing the man to let her sit in his lap. As he frowned at this, she only said, "Haven said she'd hurt me."

"Haven," came the complaint of both Strauss sisters in union then to which the oldest Dreyar daughter retorted.

"I did not!"

"Did too," Marin sniffled as Laxus patted her gently on the back.

Bickslow came into the room then, Ajax in his arms. Mirajane, at the sight, immediately abandoned getting Laxus' food ready and rushed to take him.

"My pancake needs to be flipped, demon," Laxus complained when it was clear she was too enthralled with her nephew to care. "Mira. Mirajane-"

"Oi, Lissy, here you are," the woman's husband said as he stood before where she sat at the table. He could feel Laxus glaring at him, just for existing, but then, Laxus never was one for so many guests all at once. "I got the kids all ready, today, by myself. Made 'em breakfast, made them clean up after themselves."

"Uh-huh," the woman said slowly as she watched him with a frown.

"My," Laxus intervened once more, "pancake, Mirajane."

"Oh, you're just so cute, Ajax," the demon deemed as she snuggled his wiggly nephew to her closer. "I love you so much. You just wanna come live with your aunt, don't you? Huh? And-"

"Mira."

"Ajax. I love you so much."

"My pan-"

"Well," Bickslow continued on to his wife as Laxus, finally frustrated with his own, set Marin down so he could get up and finish his own damn breakfast. Damn. "Lissy. I kinda feel like, you know, you went off to Mira's to...do whatever it was that you wanted to do. Vent? Whatever. So I went ahead and did all the morning stuff with the kids and now-"

"Bickslow, don't."

Somehow, while Laxus wasn't able to get Mirajane's attention, Bickslow's words, not even directed towards hers, had been.

"Don't what?" he asked as he glanced over at her. Their kitchen was a nice size and they were all a bit spread out from one another, but the entire tone of the room had shifted quite easily in a way only Mira could accomplish with just her voice.

"Don't," she said as, after flipping his pancake, Laxus turned to go grab his wife, who was moving across the room to glare into Bickslow's eyes, "come over here and do this."

"Mira-" Lisanna tried, but it was a bit useless.

It had all been a long time coming.

In the past few months, Lisanna had been bitching to her sister about Bickslow who would bitch to Laxus who would then mostly do nothing with the information because he didn't care about it. Bickslow and Lisanna had always been a bit off, honestly. When they were still dating, it went along to the effects of them either being on a huge high or some variant of a low.

Then they had a baby.

Which meant, at least to some extent, that they were tied together and they might as well go ahead and get married because why not?

No one was really too sure why not, but why also alluded most everyone.

Laxus had been married a lot longer than them. Or at least it felt that way. And he knew all about ups and downs. He knew about arguments and sleeping on the couch. He knew about taking long jobs to avoid one another.

But Laxus also knew when to accept his fate.

He was married to Mirajane who, to some, could come off as a ditz and easily gullible person. She was far from this with Laxus, however. He saw her for what she was.

What Bickslow was about to encounter.

Because Lisanna came off as more well put together and mature in normal light, but deep down, she was far easily to manipulate than Mira ever was. Bickslow played her in a lot of ways. It wasn't like he was cheating on her or anything (Laxus finally would intervene, probably, then), but he had a habit of, well, making bad habits and then, when Lisanna called him out on them, he usually made her feel like shit over calling him out to begin with. Imagine trying to come after someone like him, someone that sacrificed so much to being with to take care of her and Ajax.

Just because she was feeling like he wasn't around much or blowing money that they didn't have didn't necessarily mean that either of those were true.

And look on the bright side.

He forgave her.

It was just the way that their relationship worked. Only recently, Lisanna seemed to be becoming more and more frustrated with it. Which is where the complaining came in. Mirajane, who usually reveled in these sorts of things, seemed to be feeding off her sister more this time around though. Laxus wasn't sure why this was, that she was getting so upset with Bickslow, but he was kind of just glad his wife wasn't mad at him.

He and Mira had found a relative peace recently and if part of that meant Bickslow becoming the enemy, so be it.

However, Laxus really didn't want the showdown to happen right that moment in his kitchen.

Which is why he grabbed Mira's arm before she got to Bickslow.

"No," the she-devil said, not fighting her husband (she still had Ajax in her arms), but glaring over at Bickslow all the same. "He's been being a jerk since-"

"Mira, the kids are here," Laxus reminded as he glanced over at where Marin was still standing, by his chair at the table, and then to the doorway, where Haven and Kai both were watching too. Well, Haven was watching, silent for once, but Kai was still just standing there, toying with his puzzle cube.

When he was in the zone, nothing would drag him out of it.

"I don't care," Mira insisted as Bickslow made a face back at her. "He's been a real jerk to Lisanna for, like, a year-"

"Not a year," Laxus grumbled.

"Yeah, not a year," Lisanna agreed.

"I'm never a jerk, so there," Bickslow decided.

Mira wasn't having it with any of them though.

"You are a jerk. You're always a jerk. And you stick Lisanna with Ajax constantly, even when you say you're not going to, and then disappear off on jobs or go drinking-"

"I was with Elfman," he insisted. "If anything, you should thank me for hanging out with him."

If anything.

"And I don't have to answer to you, Mirajane," the seith went on. "This is between me and Lisanna."

"You're not going to sit there and trick her into forgiving you in front of me," Mira retorted. "Not this time. And then what do you do? Every single time? You don't even care, do you?"

"Mira-"

"No, Lisanna. He's always this way and-"

"Maybe you're the one twisting up Lisanna's mind," Bickslow accused then. "Mira. I don't hear her telling me these things. Then she comes over here with you and, well, maybe you're causing us problems. On purpose even."

"Why would I ever-"

"Because you're stuck in your own shitty situation with the boss here and-"

"Come again?" Laxus grumbled as he shot the other man a look. "Bickslow?"

"W-Well… What does Lissy have to say? Lissy?" He looked ot his wife then and, stuck in a rather hard place, she only looked to the table.

Then, softly, Lisanna said, "You aren't around much, anymore, Bickslow. If you don't want to be home, just say that. Don't-"

"Hey, I do wanna be home."

"You clearly don't."

"Yes, I do. I just-"

"Then why don't you ever prove it?" she asked, finding her own voice then, a bit. "I'm not asking you to not go out on jobs. I go on them too. And I work up at the hall. But when I'm not doing one of those things, I'm here. I'm with Ajax. I'm not like you, spending, at most, an hour or two at home, taking care of him, and then disappearing for the day. Even Elfman and Freed spend more time with your own son than you do. If that's what you want then..."

Lisanna didn't finish, but she'd said more than enough. Somehow, for once, it seemed like Bickslow heard it too as he only glared at her before at Mirajane. Then, he was turning to head out of the house, babies following.

"Wait!" Kai, suddenly, seemed to key back in on all that was going on. Rushing into the kitchen, he gave Marin a quick hug before following after Bickslow out the backdoor.

He was his ticket back to the guildhall.

Because...Kai honestly had no idea how to get back on his own.

"Are you going to the guildhall?" he called to the man as he ran him down in the street, rushing to the seith's side. His babies had an eerie feeling about them then as they floated around, clearly picking up on the vibe that their father was giving off. "Mr. Bickslow?"

"Eh?" He frowned down at his side, seeing the kid there. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"I'll go back with you," he told the older man with a bright grin which the older didn't in any form, return. It was when Kai's eyes dropped though, down to the cube in his hands, that he realized looking away had been his downfall and, he couldn't quite remember what exactly he was doing. What step was he on? Where were his notes? Who was going to read him his notes?

Growling, Kai threw the cube to the ground. This was enough to shock Bickslow into stopping, staring back at the little boy who was coming to realize he was never going to figure that damned cube out and he was going to end up as Ravan's bow boy, wasn't he?

Wasn't he?

The thought made hot tears well up in his eyes and he hadn't slept too well the previous night and he never really fell too good when Ravan was gone anyways, but now he couldn't want his brother back because hwne his brother got back, he was only going to shoot arrows at him and Erza would let him because she thought that it would help with his personal growth and Kai didn't want to grow anymore.

Or be a man.

He didn't want to go on jobs or try at anything ever again because his failure with the cube was teaching him that, when you tried, you only hurt.

And Kai didn't like hurting.

"Hey," the seith complained, walking back over to the little boy then. "A toy ain't nothing to cry over, is it?"

"I can't figure it out. And I've tried a thousand times! Probably more. I dunno. I can't count that high."

"Well, that's a good reason not to be sure."

Nodding, Kai sniffled a bit as he said, "I don't wanna be Ravan's bow boy. I just didn't like him saying I couldn't do something. But I can't do it. So now I'mma have to be. What am I going to do?"

Considering that Bickslow had no idea what he'd just conveyed to him, there was little for the man to do other than reach down and pick up the cube in his hands. Staring down at it for a moment, he righted himself before speaking.

"When I was a little kid, I didn't have a lot of toys, yeah? I was kinda like you, before you got here. Did you know that?" When Kai shook his head, Bickslow shrugged a bit. "Wasn't no fisherman or whatever. We were part of a circus troupe. It was hard work, a hard life on the road, but some of the best memories I have. One day, you'll feel the same way about all that hard work you put into fishing. Or with your brother now, when he's tryin' to hit you with arrows and shit. I never got an older brother, so I don't know about it, but one day, you'll wanna get back to this. Bet."

But Kai was done taking bets. And that was one, honestly, he wanted no part of.

"There's a lot of terrible things in this life, you know, kid," Bickslow went on. "You've seen some of them already, but you stay around this guild much longer, you'll only see more. You can't fold up and cry every time the going gets tough. It's the real shitty stuff that makes you wanna cry that, in the end, you really needed to, you know, make it to the end. Nothing wrong with crying, but you gotta pick your moments. And this wasn't a good one."

"I just… I just thought that I could do this, but I can't." Kicking hard at the ground then, Kai said, "Ravan's going to make fun of me and Haven too, probably. And now I won't get to go out on a job."

"How come?"

"I bet Ravan that if I did it, he'd have to take me out on one."

"What are ya waiting for him for?"

Sniffling some, he said, "I'm no good at my magic yet, to go on one alone."

For a moment, Bickslow stared into Kai's eyes before looking at the cube once more. Tinkering with it then, he said simply, "It's not so hard, you know. You just gotta play with it awhile. Know what you're doing. You get a lot of that time, traveling in the back of wagons to a town that don't wanna run ya outta it or sitting around while the big guys set up the tent."

"You know how to solve it?"

That got a shrug before, still twisting and turning the cube, the man went on.

"It's a trick, you know?" he asked. "The cube? The whole thing is one big trick. Plays with your mind. 'cause you, you know, go into it thinking that you gotta just solve one side and that will magically solve all the others. But it ain't like that, is it? You get that one side all set and then, once you get ready to do the others, you realize that to fix the whole thing, you'll have to mess the side that you just put together all up again. And you don't want that, do you? Maybe. You're not sure. But it seems like a waste then. So how are you supposed to do this thing, anyways?"

Kai shrugged because even though Lucy had gone over the whole thing with him in full detail and even gone to the lengths of writing it out for him, he honestly had no idea.

"You're not solving for a solid color or side," the seith explained. "You're doing it like you do everything else. In pieces. Every little tiny square has a certain spot to be, you know, in the end, but has to stop off in a bunch of other places along the way. So you gotta do it layer by layer, yeah? Piece by piece. And then, eventually, when you least expect it, you'll see the goal line and it can finally all be complete."

When he handed the finished cube back to Kai, the little boy only frowned deeper, but stayed silent. It was only when the seith, with a long sigh, turned to walk back towards the Dreyar house that the boy spoke up.

"Bickslow," he complained. "I thought that you were going to take me back to the guildhall?"

"Later, kid," he said while waving him off. He had something else he had to do. "Later."

Though Bickslow went back inside, Kai found that Marin and Haven had been kicked out of it and were in the front yard when he arrived back. Haven was very busy meditating, she claimed, in the other half of the yard and would cut them in half, literally, if they bothered her.

So Marin was more than a bit happy when he came back.

She gasped too as he came to join her on the front porch steps.

"You solved it?" she asked in disbelief.

He couldda said yes.

Marin would back him up, to Erza, if he tricked her into thinking this and it wasn't like Bickslow would give enough of a crap to ruin it. Then he wouldn't have to be the bow boy and would get to go out on a job with his big brother.

But…

"What are you doing?" Marin asked then with a frown as he started to mix up the cube again, to start over fresh.

"Your uncle solved it," he told her simply.

"Bickslow?"

Nodding, he said, "So I still gotta do it. All on my own. I'll figure it out. Eventually."

Marin wasn't so sure, but still nodded some at the other child.

"Yeah," she agreed, eyes falling over to where her sister was very serious about her meditation, some of her electricity even jumping off her body in some ways. She looked like she was charging up, but maybe she was just testing her stamina? Marin hoped for the latter. "Eventually."

Next Chapter

Full Story on Fanfic

(Mostly) Full Series on Archive

[crazyfishmaiden]

So got a feeding video of the 80 gallon, they got black worms when I got home.

It’s at this point I want to go into further detail on what was going on in here. Keep in mind I used to have a 40, and 2 125′s. When I went down to just two tanks, one 125 had to go.

I upgraded the 40 to a 80 that has a shallow foot print but lots of floor space. I put the animals together that I thought would do best, and as time goes on I have had to remove what didn’t work.

Now these eels in this tank, I spent months trying to cure them of an awful parasite they shipped in with. They have been well for a long time and like the rope-fish bring me great joy. Unfortunately, just as there was fallout in compatibility in the 125, there was the signs in my 80.

The eels began showing up random marks on their faces. It would happen, heal, life goes on. Eventually I began trying to watch more, especially at night. I would hear strange noises, and finally narrowed it down. It’s quite simple. The wiggly trunk noses that the eels have must seem like worms to the ropes. They keep mistaking them as food at night. Hence the odd scratches and odd noises.

I tried previously feeding the fish in different areas thinking the marks were being scored during food time. I didn’t expect it to be happening at night. Either way a solution had to be made.

We made room at work and my rope-fish went in, along side the spotted bushfish. We are pushing to sell the ropes as a colony. If that is not possible we are not selling them individually, and the price is up on them. It’s not fair to send them out alone, they are social animals that grew up together. 

It’s at this point I think the tank just needs to go more community. My cat-fish also began acting strange. They got used to so many others around, and seemed scared now that the tank was so empty.

I upped their school, but they are still scared. So I brought home odessa barbs. I have always had a soft spot for them. They look like an artist was given line-art, and this was the result of coloring in! It became clear I needed more of them, so I brought them in two lots. The next choice was the Red Salmon Rainbowfish.

I actually had a female once. Lot of people think the females are ugly but I don’t. Unfortunately what usually happens with rainbows is that all the male sell, and the females stick around for ever. So I took the males, and the females. I like them better than many other species with the exception of threadfins. I just feel like the threadfins won’t work well in the tank.

Lastly I have the two SAE. I really need something to help groom some of my plants and hands down my favorite “Algae eater” has always been these silly things. They are great when they are small, and have lovely personalities as adults. I’m not doing more because I know how territorial they can get as adults and feel that the tank is fine with just two.

My final additions would ideally be the honeycomb catfish at work. I won’t see them much but it will always be a treat when food goes in to see their adorable spinny behaviors. I’m also really curious as to if they will change behavior in response to how happy and easy-going the port-hole catfish are. I really think they might be more willing to move about in the day in the presence of other friendly cats. I don’t know for sure, and I’d love to try it.

I’ve also considered a few small peru flounder, but I’m not fully committed yet.

So that’s the jist of what is going on. I hope to get a plant light on this tank soon that has built in timer so that the entire tank can fall into a schedule. Same goes for the other tank but I want it on this one first. Anyway enjoy!

Oh and sorry about the eel being a little stinker and getting in the way. One of the always has to come in and try to hog the attention while begging for food.

[abandondeceit]

No tipping until 2025

I know many out there are going to run a mile from this, a graph. Sorry but this really does need to be shown. Besides, it's not just a graph. It is a moving one with pretty colours, so I hope you'll give it a whirl.

It is based on a UN Environment Programme emissions gaps report (according to Greta Thunberg) and in the few seconds that it runs it tells the story of the past few decades and the coming millennia. It's not a pleasant story. Yes, it's "only" theoretical. But it was "theory" that got us to the Moon and back, gave us GPS, keeps bridges up and provides many new drugs each year. So, embrace "theory". Theories are what give us understanding.

First of all, please watch this clip.

https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1220355420600008704

This was tweeted by Ms Thunberg in January 2020 in response to the snippy comment from Mr Mnuchin from the Trump House that Greta comes back when she's got a degree in economics. Truly a smooth operator, she doesn't descend into personal jibes or accusations but simply and calmly shows this graph. It is a powerful piece of animated data because it shows just how time is running out. It causes me to gasp for breath and a pause for thought.

If you don't get it right away, let me condescend and patronise you for a few moments.

The wiggly line that appears on the left shows how carbon dioxide is being released into the atmosphere each year. We know (yes... theory again) how changing carbon dioxide levels lead to climate change and this graph shows the levels to be rising. According to theory that means that climate temperature will be rising as well (it is). The widely accepted UN recommendation is that we should try to keep global temperature increases to less than 1.5C.

So, the wiggly line goes up. Around the Millennium the UN recommendation was that global carbon dioxide outputs needed to reduce by 3% each year. If this happened it was predicted that the level of release would decline year on year as the nice smooth line shows, eventually reaching the point (theoretically) where humans are releasing no net carbon dioxide release by 2100. This would suggest that climate temperatures would not continue to rise so rapidly and would keep below the 1.5C target limit. NB: Not that there would be no rise at all, but that it would stay below 1.5C

Of course, we're crazy, profligate and foolish and haven't exactly made much of an effort to achieve this 3% reduction. In fact, as the wiggly line shows, carbon dioxide levels have continued to rise. And so the level we need to reduce by has also increased. In other words, to keep the temperature down now, 20 years on, a 3% reduction is ineffective. We need to try even harder than if we'd made that stitch in time back in 2000.

Play the graph a bit further and you'll see each new smooth lin appearing as the wiggly one rises. Until 2025. Notice there that the smooth line becomes a straight one, vertically down. This means that in 2025, if the wiggly line continues upwards as it seems to be doing the time will be up. In that year the ONLY way to ensure that the global temperature rises by no more than 1.5C will be to stop all human carbon dioxide production altogether. No "well let's try harder", no "we'll get around to it", no "the economics don't work". Time's run out folks. There is no way on earth to keep the temperature rise down below 1.5C.

Of course, that won't mean that in 2025 the sky will ignite nor that the low-lying regions of the globe will be inundated. Not immediately. It will simply mean that we have to get ready for it to be more probable than if we'd kept below 1.5C.

I am an abundant believer. I believe in the essential fecundity of the planet and of the capacity for life to persist. I also have great hope that humanity will come through. But my hope is not blind and it is not naive. I hope these things because I can see how it can come to pass. I don't for one moment expect that doing nothing will be of any use whatsoever. Neither do I believe that the ordinary person can themselves bring to fruition an economic and fiscal framework that will 'save us'. What I believe is that we need to act — rebel, if you like — so that fools such as Steven Mnuchin are able to make fewer ridiculous barbs and seek the wisdom of people such as Greta Thunberg. We all have these moments of wisdom within us. Graphs like this can help bring them to the surface.

You're welcome.

[ofcaramelandcoffee]

pillo (my larger-than-average shnauzer who guards me like no other from everyone) and i just scared the absolute SHIT out of some would-be muggers

I'M OKAY. i promise. now story time

i was just outside our fenced apartment complex with pillo (who is super protective and guards like no other) and i saw a motorcycle pass by with two guys. one of them had a black hoodie drawn all the way up. they slowed near me and went on by so i was like "...hmmmmmmmmm"

i crossed the street, let pillo sniff around a bit more, and sure enough, those two guys were back again. they swerved onto the sidewalk in front of me and i'm just. "yeup okay so this is probably a mugging." ollie had told me that he was worried about that because people will mug others on their motorcycles. but i also kind of didn't realize it fully? just in the back of my head? so i just acted like they were asking for directions, as people normally do

anyway. guy in the black hoodie turns around, says something to me, and i just do as i normally do. smile awkwardly, shake my head, and say quietly, "no hablo español." the guy pauses, looks at me, and goes "¿entiendes nada?" (you understand nothing?) i've gotten REALLY good at feigning it because i know i won't understand anyway. i just kinda shook my head and kinda just stammered a bit

he paused again, tried talking again. i sighed, shrugged, shook my head. and in only a split moment, he got off the motorcycle, stepped toward me, put his hands on my pockets, and i stepped back, shouted "hey!!" at him, and pillo went OFF. i had reflexively stepped back, pulled pillo with me, shouted, and just stared him down. i kind of didn't even realize what i was doing, just kept staring at him, and they were both like deer in headlights

side note: i once saw an observation on how smiles with humans are a raw emotion similar to anger, fear, and pain. like all animals, in those moments, our faces do the same thing as any other animals'. they bare their teeth, scrunch up their face, and prepare to bite. apparently that's true as is our instinctive snap/growl because when i shouted, it was this deep and guttural sound, similar to the forced "growl" i use when i'm trying to get the dogs to stop barking and nothing else works. except. y'know. much more aggressive

anyway these two were just GAPING as i was staring them down, ready to fight, and pillo was barking like mad. the guy in the hoodie quickly got back on the motorcycle and drove off

i was too pissed off to really catch the license plate number (bummer) but hey at least now i know i'll be fine if i'm walking the dogs at night. apparently in that kind of situation, i have "fight" instead of freeze or flight. and the dogs are gonna lunge so there's that

so. now i know. and while i'm not proud, i feel a little more confident to know that i'm not an easy target

1) i don't speak spanish and 2) if they speak english, then all i can do is throw doggy bags at them because that's all i ever carry with me (aside from MAYBE chapstick and eye drops if i remember). 3) if they try to step toward me, i have a "fight" instinct (which is apparently a very stark contrast to my super shy and quiet "i don't speak spanish" doe-eyed look). and the dogs will absolutely GO OFF on them. archer lunges if someone comes close and even if she's just trying to say hi, people already just see it as her being aggressive because they don't see the wagging tail. and apparently, muggers DO expect compliance, not aggression. 4) if they actually try to take the dogs welp one is going to bite the fuck out of them and they're both WAY too wiggly to keep a hold of. seriously. if you don't know how to pick up archer correctly, her long body will either smack you in the face or slide right out of your grasp, or both. and i'm pretty damn sure she wouldn't take kindly to a stranger grabbing at her and me shouting angrily

soooooo yeah i'm pretty damn safe

and slightly amused that i--a skinny man with long hair and doe-eyed shy gaze--scared off two people who were trying to mug me, and super proud of pillo for guarding me

[juju-on-that-yeet]

A while ago, @reverseblackholeofwords got an ask about the Markiplier Egos as puppies, and it got me thinking about exactly what kinds of puppies the egos would be. So, after about an hour of Googling various dog breeds, I have the answer! I also included Yandereplier, since I pretty much immediately knew what he would be. I know I tend to put things under a readmore, but I won’t this time, since it’s just puppies with no angst or violence (for once :p).

Yandereplier is an Akita, no question. Akitas are huge and imposing, yet calm and quiet. They can be aggressive towards people and other animals, and have very willful personalities. They’re not the kind of dog you can push around. Naturally, they’re very possessive of their things. They also just happen to be a Japanese breed, which makes it extra-perfect. Imagine puppy!Yandere sitting quietly in a corner, apart from the others, looking like a fluffy little bear cub wearing a Japanese school girl uniform. It’d be adorable if it weren’t for the blood dripping from Yandere’s muzzle. Wonder where it came from...

Ed Edgar is a Rottweiler. They’re big dogs! Buff dogs! Manly dogs! They can also be pretty huge goofballs. Whether they’re goofballs or not, they tend to be very confident. Like Akitas, they have strong personalities, so you really have to work to get them to listen to you. As cool as they are, they’re almost universally recognized as being...wait for it...bad with children. Imagine puppy!Ed tromping around in a cowboy hat that’s almost too big for his head. Even as a puppy he still has the baby market cornered. As in, the human baby market. It weirds everyone out so no one talks about it.

Silver Shepherd is a Standard Poodle. He might look silly, but he’s a charmer! Fun and playful and up for anything. Although, poodles are also often skittish and sensitive, not to mention rather loud. But it’s worth it to see puppy!Silver in his gray morph suit. The gloves don’t quite fit on his paws and he’s constantly tripping over them, but he won’t give up any part of his costume for anything!

Dr. Iplier is a German Shepherd. He looks stern, but is secretly a big softie. German Shepherds are known for being smart and hard-working, and they thrive off challenge. Not to mention their frequent use as working animals: Police dogs, service dogs, bomb-sniffers, you name it, German Shepherds do it. Imagine puppy!Doctor proclaiming “I’m sorry, you’re dying,” after beating puppy!Bim in a hard-fought game of tug-of-war with a rope toy. His doctor’s coat fell off him for the tenth time, and he’s given up trying to get it to stay on (”Amateur,” mutters puppy!Silver under his breath).

Speaking of Bim, he’s an American Cocker Spaniel. They’re adorable, lovely dogs that will get along with almost everyone (I should know, my own dog is part-cocker :p). They’re very excitable and hyper little fellas. However, some of them experience separation anxiety or are just kinda neurotic. Puppy!Bim is not any more confident than regular Bim, but he’s such a sweet little fluffball bean. You could cuddle him forever, and he wouldn’t mind a bit.

The Googles are Border Collies. The defining trait of a Border Collie is their intelligence. Seriously, these dogs are smart. Smarter than plenty of people, in fact. They can learn almost anything and need constant mental stimulation to prevent boredom. It makes them pretty difficult to raise, but it’s very rewarding to watch them grow. Imagine all four puppy!Googles running around together as a pack, with Google as a classic black and white collie; Green as a pretty brown collie; Red as, well, a dark red collie; and Oliver as an adorable blonde collie.

The Host is a Doberman. He looks intimidating, as well he should: Dobies are big, strong, and intelligent dogs. They’re hard dogs to befriend, as they’re protective of their family but aloof and shy around strangers. They can be aggressive if pushed, and are very sensitive to stress and...wait for it...loud voices. Imagine puppy!Host with a bandage around his eyes, hanging around the outskirts of the puppy pile until puppy!Doctor comes over to play with him at his own pace. Host’s expression doesn’t much change, but he can’t hide his wiggly tail.

Wilford Warfstache is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Corgis are lovely little dogs, but they’re kind of all over the place. They’re smart, athletic, dependable, and (usually) polite, but also prone to chasing, nipping, destructiveness when bored, and excessive barking. If you aren’t confident or willing to take charge, a corgi can and will walk all over you. Imagine puppy!Wilford with his classic pink mustache, keeping up with the other puppies even on his stubby legs. He can’t use guns due to a lack of thumbs, but he can wield a knife as big as he is in his tiny mouth.

Darkiplier is a high content wolfdog. Okay, I kind of cheated, since wolfdogs aren’t officially recognized breeds or anything, but come on. You’d be hard-pressed to find a breed as intelligent or as powerful as a wolfdog. Wolfdogs are just what they sound like, crossbreeds of dogs and wolves. High content ones look especially wolfish. They sound cool, and they are cool. But make no mistake, this is the hardest kind of dog to raise, period. Wolfdogs are notorious for being high-maintenance, and while they aren’t as aggressive as you might expect, they’re very difficult to win over. Due to being part-wolf, they don’t have the instinctual trust of humans that other dogs have. Not to mention their prey drive is off the charts, and who knows what Dark considers prey? Imagine puppy!Dark, bigger than the other pups and with fur as black as night, glaring at the other puppies from across the room. His face is set in a snarl, showing off impressive teeth, and not even the most avid dog-lover dares to approach.

[logan-maya]

Logan Training Pupdate

Inspired by @colliepapillon and @herebelife! Logan is currently 11 weeks old.

Training

Sit from stand - on verbal cue

Down from sit - on verbal cue

Sit from down - on hand signal

Stand from sit - on hand signal

Stand from down, down from stand - following a lure

Sit-stay on platform - working on. current distance = 1 full step back, not adding duration yet.

Tricks

Spin - added the verbal cue but still needing to prompt sometimes. He has also added his on twist on spin, where he jumps in the air before doing it lol

Nose to hand touch - verbal cue and hand signal. The boop now has pressure, next I will be looking for 1 second duration

Give paw (both paws) - still prompting with hand signal

Peekaboo - need to prompt him into position, but then he has fabulous duration. Still hand signal, no verbal

Cop-cop - prompted with a lure

Puppy Classes

Is barking at other puppies less. He is gaining confidence in the environment. I am also trying to build a positive association by lots of repetitions of: Logan notices other puppy -> is fed. Still not done introductions because he’s not ready.

His focus on me is awesome, and he absolutely loves to work.

We’ve been doing platform basics + sit-stay on the platform.

We’ve also been proofing sit and down around distractions.

We have done straight LLW, and going between cones, with random sits thrown in.

Between exercises, he is settling on his bed really well.

He is happy to be handled by me, and has been handled by somebody he doesn’t know at class too, wasn’t fussed. Handling is always followed by food.

Social Outings

Puppy class x3, we are also going to be doing a fortnightly obedience class alongside the socialisation classes to give him a variety of experiences.

Car rides on an almost daily basis. He has no issues with the car.

Dog friendly pubs x2, different pubs each time. Apart from the occasional boof at another dog, he is more than happy to settle down under the table, and loves the attention he gets from people

Park + cafe, saw many dogs and met a couple of dogs nicely, sat at the cafe and was passed around by people for cuddles - no issues. Saw traffic, crossed the road at traffic lights,

Local park, again, saw tons of dogs, met two of my friends dogs and spent time with them happily, has also seen kites, cyclists, joggers, groups of screaming children, people doing sports - not worried and not wanting to prey chase anything except footballs

Other park, met and walked with another friend’s dog just fine, and tried to initiate play. Saw lots of dogs, pushchairs, children etc.

Pet shop - saw traffic in the car park, in the shop saw livestock in glass pens and didn’t flip his shit, saw dogs and only barked if we came too close, saw children, saw dogs being groomed and heard all sorts of noises

Vets x2, was fine both times, I plan to take him again just for a trip

Primary school pickup x2 in my arms, planning next time to walk him on the floor

Dogs and Animals

Horses and sheep at a far distance - want to get closer with him

Cats on a few occasions, two times up close and he barks at first

Maggie the lab x collie - met 2x, both times was fine and wanted to play after being a bit worried at the start

Betsy the lab x collie - met 1x, barked from far away but comfortable when introduced

Max the rottie x GSD & Louie the cocker spaniel - met 1x, no issues

Lola the SBT - met 1x, no issues

Brief meetings include four miniature Schnauzers (all times they have come up to him on lead, which is scary for him, but he did very well and I fed him after the encounters), a pug, a Whippet puppy, a Labrador, and a spaniel of some kind. He has been a bit nervous a couple of times (especially when approached while he’s on lead), so I am his ‘protector’ and physically block the other dog if it’s too much

Has seen dozens & dozens of dogs from various distances while off lead. Not too scary anymore and he’s happy to focus on me

People

So many, I haven’t been keeping track /oops. He’s met dozens of people of a variety of ages & appearances so far, and it’s hard to take him out without people wanting to meet him. He loves people and is all wiggly.

Notable ones: kids playing football/basketball (he still wants to be getting it, an impulse control training issue rather than socialisation which is fine), kids on bikes and scooters, people pushing buggies, the vet and receptionists. Has met two babies (under control) and seen plenty of toddlers from far away.

To-do: people with walking sticks/walkers, in wheelchairs, wearing different hats etc, variety of ethnicities, people in different uniforms.

Working On

Reactivity to dogs - a.k.a “I bork at you”. I don’t anticipate this being a big issue, it is a nervousness/lack of confidence thing and with lots of exposure and positive experiences, he is getting braver

House training and chewing - under high management still, he’s a baby so I don’t expect this too soon

Accomplishments

Happy to be left in the crate as long as it’s covered (if I can see you, I screm), but will cry if he needs the toilet

Has started going to the back door if he needs to go, knowing he gets foods for going in the garden

Has ridiculously good attention and focus for an 11 week old puppy. Joys of a working breed! He likes to stare at me, even in distracting environments, like “yes let me do a thing for the foods”. Wags his tail like crazy when he is rewarded + responds to verbal and tactile praise (Maya doesn’t give a shit about that stuff)

Is extremely environmentally sound - loud noises, moving things, etc don’t phase him. The breeder did a lot of work on this sort of thing which is good. He is happy to walk on lots of surfaces including bridges and drains

Will play tug with me in the class environment, as well as in a park environment

Will play with all toys and anything that is wiggled along the floor (good and bad, as this includes tissues for cleaning up piddles , and anything that moves... his prey threshold is very low so -BOOM I get it)