#also to be fair boq could have been honest to nessa

[wovetales]

even   if   what   glinda   did   with   boq   wasn't   really   the   nicest   thing   ,   we   also   need   to   remember   that   she   was   clearly   giving   off signs   that   she   was   not   interested in him   ,   but   he   wouldn't take   no   for   an   answer.   even   when   he   heard   glinda   was   engaged   to   fiyero years later   ,   he   still   was   deluded   enough   to   think   he   could   rush   to   her &   admit   feelings   thinking   it   would change   something.   glinda   did   a   mean   girl   thing   by   pushing   him   to ask out   nessa to the dance   ,   but   at   the   same   time   ,   the   guy   would   not   have   left   her   alone   otherwise. both can be in the wrong at the same time.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTE: Well... Camp NaNo really shot my plan to keep up with this fic in the arse. I'm still recovering, really. Hopefully you can all forgive me! But I really do want to start posting this regularly until it's completely available now. Time makes fools of us all!

The only thing more crowded than a broom with two occupants is a broom with three. It was already obvious before they took to the air, and only became galling and inconvenient the longer they flew. Glinda was used to having Elphaba several inches in front of her, hanging on by way of her hands around her friend's trim waist. By this new arrangement, the petite blonde was literally in her lap, with Nessa hanging onto the back of them as if her life depended on it.

Which, in all actuality, it did — not merely because they were so high in the air, flying over hill and dale, but because there was no longer a place for her in Munchkinland. Despite the rumours of her hardline policies, Glinda had never expected to watch a coup d'état play out in front of her! But that was exactly the situation. Now, even if they dropped her off in another country, the Wizard and Morrible would definitely want to either clap her in irons, or bring her in for questioning about her sister.

"Everything is gone," Nessa was blubbering behind them as they began to near the Kells, and thereby the Vinkus. "M-my home, all of my things… Father's legacy, Mother… m-my Boq…"

"Time to face facts, Nessa," Elphaba sighed gruffly. "Boq was never yours to begin with; always too interested in Glinda."

"Don't remind me, or I'll knock her off this broom."

At that, Glinda couldn't stay silent anymore. "Really? That little pipsqueak gets it into his head that I'm his special lady, and it's my fault?! What kind of senseless sense does that make?"

"You led him on! With your… your blonde hair and your sparkly eyes, and y-your… your two legs that worked! And I didn't stand a chance!"

"Listen to yourself, little sister. Glinda can't be to blame for being born with an emerald spoon in her mouth, and she never gave him the slightest time of day." With a sigh, Elphaba then admitted, "No more than I could blame her for charming Fiyero."

At that, Glinda tightened her grip on the broom handle. "Y-yes… we both cared for him a great deal, and will miss him. I think it's… it's best we left it at that."

Elphaba's hands were around Glinda's middle, holding onto the broom. The only way she could show affection was to lean in and kiss her cheek, so that's just what she did, surprising the blonde. "I'm sorry I lost my temper back there, it wasn't very… well, I'm sorry, and I'm glad you were there to talk some sense into me. I just wasn't expecting- I mean, anyone but Fiyero! It isn't right, it isn't fair!"

"Bet you'd rather that house fell on me," Nessa sobbed. "W-well, so do I! Nobody wants me around anymore, n-nobody in Munchkinland, not…" She had obviously been about to mention Boq again, but caught herself. "All I have left to my name is these shoes…"

"Well, at least you have those, so why don't you dry up? Glinda's the one who's really experiencing a loss here; your would-be boyfriend is still alive! Sort of. But Fiyero isn't so lucky. Right, Glinda?"

With a heavy sigh, Glinda tried to piece together her thoughts. "You know… I'm still sad, and I know I'll want to have a good cry later. He didn't deserve this, not at all. But I… well, it seems like it's been so long since I've seen him, even though it was just a day ago! Before that, it had been years, I… well, what I'm trying to say is that I guess my schoolgirl crush wore off, that's all. Stupidifying, isn't it?"

After a few seconds, Nessa said, "I don't know what that means."

"Nevermind," Elphaba sighed, perching her chin on Glinda's shoulder by way of comforting her. "Glinda should probably write her own special dictionary."

But once they reached the Kells and began to pass into "Winkie Country", as Nessa kept calling it even though that was an outdated and offensive term, it was Glinda who requested they stop into the castle at Kiamo Ko, after all. He had offered it, and they all now agreed that it was the least they could do to pay their respects, and see what use they might make of it — Nessa less enthusiastically, but she agreed all the same.

The castle itself was not nearly the shining splendour that the Royal Palace presented. In fact, quite the opposite: it was dark, ominous, and forbidding. There wasn't much use in questioning why it had been abandoned. Severe crenellations lined the top of every wall around parapet walkways like fangs, gouging into the sky. The sprawling mass was dotted with circular towers, small windows that were dark and empty, pinnacles, bartizans, and a buttress here and there. Steep cliffs on all sides meant there was only one way in: the winding, rocky path that led up to the front door. Being caught off guard would either require flight, or for all inhabitants to be sleeping.

"Well, this is depressing," Nessa said immediately as they touched down on one of the landings. "Big, but depressing."

"My thoughts exactly," Glinda said. "But let's take a look around inside, shall we? Appearances can be deceptivatious."

A quick tour was enough to tell them everything they needed to know: it was empty. Every bedchamber had a bed and mattress draped with a sheet, but not made up. The enormous kitchens had bare cupboards, but were fully stocked with pots and pans, and a stove ready for wood. The pump for the well creaked but it worked. All in all, a workable living space.

Hours later, they had become separated from each other, and it took a goodly amount of time for Glinda to find her way to the throne room. It was nowhere near as impressive as the Wizard's, as covered in dust and cobwebs as the suits of armour and tapestries were. Once there, she decided to brush off the large, ornate throne and sit upon it, waiting for one of the others to happen along her.

Some life she'd turned out to have! Stuck in a dreary old collection of rocks with two witches. To be fair, she was also a witch now, as far as the larger share of Ozian society was concerned, but that was as unprecedented as the rest of it: what had led her to this life? She dreamed of the days of her youth, when her only desire was to be the Wizard herself. Even though her parents had tried to explain to her that only the Wizard could be the Wizard, she didn't care; it was the only job she wanted. That, or a mayor of some sort. Being a useless debutante with a powdered face and powdered wigs was not at all appealing.

Yet that was the direction she had been headed in before Elphaba helped her begin magical tutelage under Morrible. All in all, she had to say this was at least better than a future as some accent piece for a lordling.

Or Fiyero. That was a future that was no longer open to her. Tears threatened, caught in the back of her throat, but they wouldn't quite come. Maybe she was too exhausted. Or maybe… she wasn't as attached to him as she had once assumed. But it felt unkind to speak of the dead that way.

She had probably dozed off, because she didn't hear the door creak open; only heard it thud shut. Elphaba was there, a small magical flame held in her palm. Apparently, she and Nessa hadn't found each other, either.

"Hmm?" she muttered, still too groggy to say anything more.

"I've been looking all over for the both of you," Elphaba grunted. Spotting a torch in one of the sconces, she lit it with the flame and then let the magical one wink out. "This place is massive!"

"Yeah," she yawned, stretching out her limbs. "Ohhh, it is. Do you… think that's why it's abandoned? They just didn't have any use for all these rooms?"

Chuckling, Elphaba came over and squeezed into the throne next to her. "Maybe. Or that it was too difficult to reach on foot; that would be reason enough."

Glinda slipped an arm around her waist, grateful for the companionship. Elphaba seemed to have also been exhausted by all the walking and the events beforehand, because she let out a long, weary sigh. A few minutes passed in comfortable silence this way. Then the tears began, but only for Elphaba; her own eyes remained moist but did not leak. Maybe she had truly underestimated how much her companion cared for the previously-aloof prince. Was it always that way, or had his donning the uniform of a royal guard changed her viewpoint?

Some five minutes later, when she had dampened Glinda's shoulder enough for one day, she pulled back to wipe at her cheeks. "S-sorry about that," she finally breathed. "You m-must… be wondering why I'm so em- so emotional over someone who I d-didn't have m-much in common with."

"I am," Glinda admitted gently. When Elphaba cringed, she hurried to add, "But it's okay! Honest! It's… can you tell me how long you've had feelings for him? Or is that a little too personal?"

"We've lived together for two years, so it would be silly for me to say anything's 'too personal' now." They both chuckled sadly. "Um… almost as long as you have. Do you remember when we rescued that Lion cub from the classroom? It… started then. He was so kind and compassionate, even though he liked to pretend he didn't care about a twigging thing. But I knew he would only have eyes for you."

Did he? Glinda had to wonder. All she whispered was, "How did you know that?"

"Because you're perfect. You have style and grace, money, a dazzling smile. The scintillating siren of Shiz. And what am I? Just an artichoke."

"You're an emerald shining in a coal-black world," Glinda corrected her, squeezing her in closer. "And I'm not as great as all that. But thank you."

"Stop. We both know that not a single man in their right mind would ever want anything to do with me."

"We know no such thing! You're beautiful, Elphie; I told you, it just… takes some getting used to the green thing! But once you do, all you can see is your sharp, handsome features, your clever eyes…" Glinda reached up and caressed her cheek. "Warm lips…"

A moment passed as they held still. Then Elphaba turned away from her, hands clutching at the cloak where it covered her knees.

"I thought… you weren't going to bring that up again."

"Bring what up?" Then she blinked in recognition and ducked her head. "OH! Sorry! That wasn't- I didn't mean to make this about that, it was just a- I was trying to be complimentatious toward you, that's all!"

"It was a one-time mistake! I told you! And… and I wanted to put it from my mind completely, and here you are, dredging up old-"

"I'm sorry, Elphie, I really am," Glinda told her urgently, taking up her hand and squeezing it. "But at least I'm not teasing like last time; you had every right to be angry. I just… wasn't thinking about how embarrassed you were."

"Then why tease me now?!" she demanded, eyes haunted when she turned back to Glinda. The shorter woman felt sick to see the tracks of moisture on her cheeks, so used to Elphaba never crying as she was. "Isn't it all the more cruel?!"

"Teasing? How was I teasing?"

"You said I have warm lips!"

"B-but you do!"

Rolling her eyes, Elphaba scoffed, "Right. As if anything about me is warm! All sharp angles, like ice!"

"Your lips are warm, Elphie! All of you is! You're… I wasn't teasing or fibbing, it's the truth!" Swallowing hard, she shrugged and pushed ahead, "Yeah, we agreed not to talk about it anymore, but we never said we wouldn't think about it! And… well, I can't help it, a woman's mind wanders when she gets bored sometimes!"

Another silence. This one lingered, crept into their bones as they squirmed in the throne, which was large enough to seat two but now seemed too small in spite of that.

"I was just trying to keep warm," Elphaba told her softly. "You do believe that, don't you?"

"I… believe it's what you think. But I have wondered…"

"Wondered what?"

"Whether or not a little something else was skipping around in the back of your mind, and you just didn't realise it? And not just your mind, either." Though her friend shivered, she pressed on, "Of course, I know it would be unusual, though. Anything elsewise. Nevermind, forget I brought it up; I'm just being the same silly ol' me."

Elphaba's hands grasped Glinda's shoulders, and she again felt the excited, vulnerable feeling that sometimes swept over her whenever her friend was filled with that type of intensity. It was overcoming her all too often lately, and she felt her resolve against its portents weakening. The memory of that cold winter night, huddled for warmth in the cave behind Wicca Falls, lips meeting in a way neither of them intended for them to meet… it was one she revisited often, and with waning regret. By now, she cherished the memory — even if the passionate woman staring down into her eyes might feel differently.

"Why do you always insist that we don't need separate beds?"

As her pulse sped up another notch, she whispered back, "Wh-why don't you ever insist we do? Elphie, you know it takes two to tango."

"I already know that… that I could never ask for a better friend than you," Elphaba whispered, eyes still leaking as if she simply didn't know how to shut the water off. "Isn't that enough? Why are… does everything have to change?"

"Who says anything has to change? Maybe the change happened already, right under our noses." Then her eyelashes fluttered as she stared downward. "Listen to me, flustered and spewing out strange words, I… neither of us are those types of women, right? It's preposterosity personified! All I w-wanted to do was explain my comment about your lips being warm, so you didn't think I was teasing, or trying… to…"

When Elphaba's hand came up to cup her cheek, she froze entirely, waiting to hear what she might say. Once it came, everything not only unfroze, but began to pulsate with urgency.

"That you would want to see if they're still as warm as in the winter?"

Immediately, Glinda pulled away. She didn't want to, but it felt of the utmost importance. "Wait. We can't, we… okay, I th-think we're both a little fragile from what happened — from Fiyero. I don't know about you, but some part of me's been holding onto him as a kind of… 'default intended', even though we haven't seen him much lately. S-so it's natural when having someone pulled away from you like that, you… you reach for the next closest person to… take their place."

Elphaba was definitely listening. Her throat worked to swallow, and she smoothed down the front of her cloak and dress. "You're right. Absolutely right, it's just… this is not the time to… to figure this out. Not when we are still grieving."

"No, it isn't. But…"

"But?"

Glinda felt her face grow hot, her stomach full of a cyclone. "Tonight… when we sleep…" She pushed up from the throne, putting her back to Elphaba. Forcing herself to say more. "If you need me for anything… any kind of comfortatious purpose…"

"I won't," she told her firmly. "I'm not going to use you, just because I'm distraught over someone else. You mean a lot more to me than that!"

"Even if I'd be willing?" If only the blood would stop rushing in her ears, maybe she wouldn't feel so on edge!

"Even… then," Elphaba said, though with more uncertainty. "I… Glinda, you never cease to surprise me. Two years of friendship, and I still…" Another sob, but when Glinda whirled around it was to see Elphaba also standing, swiping at her eyes and trying to compose herself as best she could. "Thank you. I don't think I'll be needing anything like that, but there aren't words to tell you how much I appreciate the offer."

Glinda wrapped her up in a tight hug that had Elphaba grunting, and she returned it a moment later. "Elphie! If… if a house falls on you, I'm really… I can't handle that, I can't! Promise me you won't let that happen!"

A wet laugh escaped her before she whispered, "I'll glance up now and then, just for you." Petting over her blonde hair, she began to steer Glinda toward the door of the throne room.

                                                       ~ o ~

They finally found Nessa in one of the towers, lamenting her existence and clinging to some kind of golden cap she had turned up in one of the cupboards. It looked fancy and expensive, but also garish; Glinda couldn't imagine there being a time when it would be in fashion.

"Why, Elphaba?" she whispered earnestly. "Was I just cursed from the beginning? My legs don't work, I can't win over the one man I care for… betrayed by my subjects, blamed for Fiyero… wh-what's the matter with me?"

Though Elphaba seemed about ready to say something unkind, Glinda put an arm around her and said in a gentle tone, "Nothing, dear! This is nothing more than a string of bad luck, that's all! I know you'll turn it around — we all will!"

"B-but you brought this on yourselves! You stole the Grimmerie, defied the Wizard! At least it makes sense he would turn on you! Why would the Munchkins turn on me? Didn't they s-see that I was only trying to keep them safe?"

"Oh, stop that," Elphaba spat. "We've already told you a dozen times why the Wizard turned on us, and you know it's no more our fault than the storm dropping a house on…" She had to bite back a sob. "Anyway, the Munchkins might have been safe, but they had no freedom. Of course they protested!"

"Who wants freedom if it gets you killed?! With you and the Wizard feuding, everyone's been in danger! Letting them go to the Emerald City, or even worse, the Vinkus?! They'd all end up-"

"You don't care one bit about them! You closed the borders to keep Boq from leaving you, and I'm not going to tolerate your bald-faced lies!"

At that, Nessa backed up a step, hands wringing the cap. "Y-you… w-well, of course I wanted to protect Boq, too! He's one of us! I wanted to protect us all, and he's the most important one to me, it's- they aren't separate! I can't believe you would accuse me of doing that for purely selfish reasons!"

"Nessa… I'm not going to listen to this anymore. In my opinion, you need to face the truth about yourself, and until you can do that…" She threw up both hands and turned toward the door, leaving both of them behind.

"Wait! Elphaba, please? I- I don't know what you want me to say! Fabala!" But Elphaba had already gone.

"Well…" Clearing her throat, Glinda patted her shoulder. "That didn't go very well, did it?"

"She doesn't believe me. Maybe we haven't ever been the closest of sisters, but… she really doesn't think I care about the rest of Munchkinland." Her face was stricken, ashen, and she pressed one hand to her forehead. "My luck isn't changing. Maybe it will never change!"

With a sigh, Glinda steered her over to the lone wooden chair that resided in the desolate tower room and sat Nessa in it. "You need to take a deep breath and think. Come on, has the Munchkin Country ever closed their borders before? Even during the old wars? No, that simply isn't done! Oz has always been an open and accepting kingdom!"

"B-but I… you and the Wizard, he was hunting everywhere…"

"Just say it out loud. Tell me why you really made that decree, just admit it to yourself!"

Tears leaked down her alabaster cheeks as she gazed down at the fists perched on her knees. But after a moment, she whispered, "B-because… Boq wanted to go to you. And I knew if he did, he'd g-get himself killed, and then I'd lose him forever, I… th-that was not something I could let happen!"

"There," Glinda soothed her, petting over her shoulders even as her own stomach was spasming at yet another instance of Boq's unwelcome affections. "You see? You can be honest."

"But it was still for everyone's good, I r-really believe that, even if… even if you're right, it w-was only for Boq that I first thought of…" One hand came up to swipe at the tears. "You and Elphaba m-must really think I'm a disgusting, manipulative witch to do something like this, b-but I swear to you now, Glinda, I… n-no one has ever mattered to me more than him, and if I let him go that easily, th-then my love wasn't real! But it was! Nobody thinks it was, but he was my one true-"

"That isn't how you treat someone you love," she corrected her. "I know, I know you were trying to protect him, but you can't do that by taking away his rights! That's the opposite of true love, that's… ownership!"

"NO! No, you're wrong! I never 'owned' Boq and I wouldn't want to!" But her sobs gave her away; she knew Glinda's accusation held a grain of truth, but admitting it would destroy her. Which her following words seemed to confirm: "P-please, Glinda, j-just… I can't!"

Those words sounded familiar. It took Glinda a moment to realise it was what she had said about handling a life without Elphaba. Same level of emotion…

"Listen," she whispered to Nessa. "Just for a moment. Now, I really do think you need to stop all this fibulation and own up to how you treated him — even if you didn't mean to," she overrode her impending protest. "Elphaba's cross with you because she thinks you're acting like a little Muchkinling pitching a fit, and, well… if the slipper fits…"

Glancing down at her own silvery slippers, Nessa whispered, "I… I miss him… I know you're right, that I'm acting very ungrateful, but I'm not! It's just… how can I be happy about being able to walk if I'm walking alone?"

"You're not alone. You have me, and Elphie. Or you will once you two can talk things out, anyway."

"Yeah." Giving a glum little nod, she let Glinda wipe away her tears and pat her on the head, even though they were almost the same age. "I'm… I need a little time. I tried to find linens for the beds, or food, but there isn't any… and all I want to do is curl up in bed and hate everything!"

"We all do, from time to time. Here, now — follow me. We'll do what we can, find what we can."

So Glinda and her friend's little sister set out to explore the castle, glum as the latter was. Something to busy their hands, since all they could think about was their lost loves. It would have to suffice.

                                                      To Be Continued…