#also timmy enjoyed his time with remy

[tootiredtocares-blog]

After rewacthing remy rides again I'm convinced remy has feelings for timmy but doesn't realize it yet

[the-gayest-show]

just finished all the remainder of the episodes of fop a new wish that i didn't finish (so crocker to the future to lost in fairy world) and i really liked it!

overall, banger after banger this show really is a fun one, nickelodeon better give em a s2 PLEASE THIS IS THE ONLY CURRENTLY RUNNING SHOW I HAVE-

episode reviews below!

Crocker to the Future: genuinely loved all the parascience things. I do 100% feel like that award for preserving in the face of adversity or whatever truly belonged to Crocker. my guy was at this for like. 10+ years! AND THAT"S JUST THE OG FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!!! MY GUY WAS ON HIS "fairies are real!!! trust me!!" thing for ENOUGH TIME FOR FOP A NEW WISH TO TAKE PLACE!!!!!! i'm so glad he (sort of) got to have the award in that ghost containment thing.

AJ in the episode was interesting but honestly major L for AJ. I thought he'd be like the next einstein, not a parascience mf. maybe Timmy Turner fucked him up a bit, who knows...

Battle of the Dimmsonian: Genuinely felt bad for Peri here. Like DUDE. You are stuck with this asshole kid (Dev I love you but be nicer plss) who just sorta demands things from Peri like all the damn time? poor kid. Reminds me of what Remy Buxaplenty had with his godparent but at least wandisimo had a semi-similar personality so it kind of worked. Not saying that Peri and Dev don't work, it might since Dev has been shown to be nice underneath but I can't stand the blatant mistreatment for now.

But also, damnnnn he IMMEDIATELY recognizes his parents and goes "oh shit" it's crazy how he managed to do that when they're fidget toys on a kid's backpack.

I also liked the whole back and forth thing ("Mom? Dad?" "Son?" etc), Cosmo being the only one to not do that is so true for him.

I wonder if Peri not seeing Cosmo and Wanda was intentional, we'll see!

Patty Possum's Party Playground: I almost thought this episode was gonna be like Five Night's At Freddy's or somethign with the animatronics but I guess not! I liked Patty Possum, she's so rad! I can defo see why Winn liked skateboarding after that. I love Cosmo and Wanda being certified idiots in this episode. They took "you can't use magic" seriously (as seriously as "oh Wanda shrunk into the claw machine so we could actually get a prize" can be) and stuck BOTH of their wands in the claw machine. If there's anything I love about this show, it's Cosmo and Wanda being two halves of a whole idiot. Truly can't function without magic fr fr I liked the gag of Hazel's dad literally being punctual as hell. That scene where he's like "oh it only takes 29 min and 30 seconds to get there" and then it hits 7:30 and he's panicking is so real (what if I headcanoned him as autistic. what then? just like me fr fr).

A Date To Remember: A really cute episode where Hazel essentially has to compete against Cupid (who looks like a baby now, I guess they got rid of his looks from the main series and gave them to Peri lol) [look how they untwinkified my boy /j] to make sure Hazel's parents fall back in love again. The ending where the parents think it was just another puppet show was crazy, wasn't expecting that tbh!

Lost In Fairy World: WE GOT THE FAIRY TRIO INTERACTING LET'S GOOOOOOO

It seems like their dynamic is basically just over protective coddling parents vs their son who really doesn't like it. But despite what I used to think before seeing this episode (that maybe Peri had some kind of resentment or something) it doesn't seem that way? Peri seems to like his parents overall and maybe even might enjoy the affection (if it weren't for the godkids there), but I get why he turned off the tracker and such. My guy wants independence! You go boy! Them sneaking in to Jorgan's office was really funny and stuff. I hope we'll see them all together in the next episodes because I like their dynamic and want to see where it goes!

Dev and Hazel were great here too! Dev is still kind of an ass to Peri but not as much which is an improvement! I like how he gets that "dimmadome face" or whatever it was called where he basically looks as deranged as his dad. Like father, like son I guess. Dev and Hazel actually having fun together is a step up from where they used to be, it seems like they solved their argument somehow. Dev sort of took that to mean that they weren't friends anymore, poor thing.

Dev taking advantage of the loopholes is so smart lol, Peri having a crisis and his parents like "AWWW, baby's first loophole wish!" is crazy.

The rule that "you can only go to fairy world if you're being tested by jorgan" doesn't really make sense if you think about original FOP though. Timmy got to go there almost recreationally! Dude probably attended like 90% of all fairy world events and shit and he was the talk for the town for an entire episode! Make it make sense!!!

Overall tho I LOVED these and they were enjoyable af. Would watch again. Judging by what I saw for descriptions of the next episodes, Peri's anti fairy (or Foop, now known as Irep, which if you ask me doesn't have the same ring to it) will be working with Dev? Crazy. Anyways yeah I had a lot of fun and woah this post got kinda long

[fountainpenguin]

Heya, not a question and, truth be told, I haven't read your fanfics aside from "Whatever", but I love your character analyses and thoughts on The Fairly OddParents. The show was my special interest when I was a wee tween and now it's like an on-and-off hyperfixation of mine. I've been especially fascinated by your takes on Juandissimo. Truth be told, he's a character that always... fascinated me, which probably explain a lot, lol. PS, I wrote "Important business trip", thanks for the kudo. :)

Hi, thanks for reaching out! :) I think I've seen you around the fandom a few times. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed "Whatever" and that you like my Juandissimo chatter.

I have a lot of Juandissimo thoughts and I don't often share them because my portrayal of "Juandissimo is clearly on good enough terms with Wanda that she still invites him to parties, we have no proof he was anything less than kind to her while they dated, plus he's also very devoted to Remy and that's sweet" goes totally against the way the fandom usually portrays him (usually as abusive) and... man.

He's a good boy, I like my take on him as Anti-Cosmo's awkward friend. Love the present-day uncle vibes he shows Timmy and Poof <3

Come by any time to read / chat more, and I'm happy to hear you enjoyed my posts and Juandissimo 'fic!

[vampiredrooling]

I FINALLY finished enough to post about my FOP Pirate AU!! 

Fairies are pirates who steal misfortunate children to grant their wishes! Timmy snuck his way onto Cosmo and Wanda’s ship, and of course, they instantly fell in love. Timmy is rambunctious and wants adventure, but to his dismay, his fairies are much more relaxed than that.

Juandissimo, Cupid and Remy fuck! shit! up! They love stealing treasure and just inciting shit in general for the fun of it. Juan snuck onto Cupid’s frilly little ship with the intention to rob him (as anyone would) but oddly enough, they hit it off instead. 

The anti-fairies are sirens! Instead of using singing to lure fairies/people in, they act more similarly to changelings- they're wonderful at mimicking voices, and if they are able to acquire more magic, they can start to copy appearances too. They drain magic from fairies upon capturing them. Other Notes:

Wanda’s actually the captain! She just enjoys how happy wearing the hat makes Cosmo. (And she thinks it looks good on him!)

Yes, they’ve given Timmy shoes- he just refuses to wear them for more than five seconds.

Though all the fairies act pretty independently, Jorgen is somewhat the “Captain” of them all; You don’t fuck with Jorgen. He, alongside Tooth Fairy, head the largest ship on the sea.

Mr. Crocker is ALSO a pirate set on taking fairy ships down and returning children to their parents for the reward. Bastard has canons.

Juandissimo knows how to sword fight like no other...He’s only been beaten once, and he insists said time doesn’t count. Cosmo disagrees. 

Cosmo can not even hold a sword not even a little bit

Cupid’s hook hand is fake- he’s just dramatic

Sirens use their esca (dangly star head things) to lure in prey and do what little magic they can on their own. 

[jknerd]

FOP AU: Juandissimo

Name: Juandissimo Magnifico Age: Immortal Occupation(s): Fairy Godparent, Masseuse (part-time), Hairstylist, Wedding planner, Substitute teacher of Spellementary School (Temporarily) Aliases: WANDissimo Friend(s): Cupid, Jorgen Von Strangle, Blonda Interest(s): Dressing-up, hair-styling, working out, babysitting fairy babies or godchildren Character Juandissimo is Remy Buxaplenty's fairy godparent, ex-boyfriend and admirer of Wanda. He is a Latino fairy who was initially introduced as side villain, but turned out to be portrayed as Remy's second father figure, even having other jobs beside being a godparent such as masseuse, hairstylist on resort, wedding planner when working with Cupid, and even a substitute teacher of Spellementary School. Not as big as Jorgen, but Juandissimo is well-built and known for being one of the most handsomest fairies beside Cupid. As a human, Juandissimo is portrayed as Remy's personal guardian/bodyguard. In disguise of a pet, he is a ferret or Persian Cat. Despite the vain demeanor with lack of cooking skills, he is actually a fairy who cares deeply for his godson as his own son, and enjoys the company of children to the point he willingly let Timmy visit and hang out with Remy when they became friends. Background Juandissimo was a transfer student in Fairy High school, fell in love with Wanda at first sight(because her kind demeanor towards young students attracted him). Although he was also a fairy Blonda fell in love, he declined her feelings because he prefers Wanda who has more than outer beauty but also intelligence and good personalities. When Blonda wears a resembling disguise of Wanda, Juandissimo was deceived as he was allured to her room. However, this was discovered by REAL Wanda and was dumped by her. Upset, he refused to see or talk to Blonda for more than 9,000 years. When he was assigned to be Remy's fairy, the Latino fairy immediately felt compassionate for the rich boy who has been constantly neglected by his parents. Despite his reluctance, Remy wanted to get rid of Timmy's fairies out of jealousy, causing him to lose his godfather. Juandissimo was then hired in Jorgen's favorite restaurant, but he was the WORST cook as he lacked cooking skills. Jorgen then decided to let Remy keep his fairy on one condition; he has to eat Juandissimo's meals as a punishment for antagonizing Timmy. When talking to Cupid, his past was eavesdropped by his godchild Remy, then the rich boy bribed the fairies who hated Blonda in their high school years and made them expose Blonda's secrets to the media of Fairy World, destroying her reputation. Hearing that, Juandissimo scolded him, but conflicted when Remy asked him if he would forgive Blonda for breaking him and Wanda apart. Later, when Blonda genuinely apologized, Juandissimo forgives her as he said he was the fool for unable to see the different between her and Wanda, thinking his love for her back then was "weak". 

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Q&As

 What prompted the killing of Wondergal to begin with?

Honestly, I don’t remember exactly what prompted it. Gotta remember that back in 2010 when I started the STT, I wanted Timmy to become a Nightwing parody, and just killing off his love interest seemed the easiest way to do it (I also was hard core shipping Timmy with Tootie, so that was the easiest way to make him choose her ^^; ). I actually started it when I was dog sitting, and 2 dogs don’t exactly give you the best creative feedback lol. It was also because my non-super hero FOP stuff at the time, I was writing Trixie as the mean popular girl, and not part of the main core group, so writing her out made sense. I was also hard core shipping Trixie with Remy, so again, needed to make her a bad girl for him.

 Why did you bring her back then?

I actually never had the intention to bring Trixie back. Once I had the idea of SuperTrix, she was going t be the main and only Trixie, and thus a bad guy to follow with the teenage drama story lines. But my best friend @twisted-persona loves Trixie, and she came up with Star-Gal. so I went “Ok, since Trixie is a clone to begin with, shy can’t there bed more of her?” and bam! That’s how we wound up with Star-Gal.

 Why make her a clone?

Because Donna Troy. I know Wondergal was meant to be a Wonder Woman parody, but I always thought of Wonder Girl. Then add in some of the visual similarities Trixie shared with Joan Jett, and how Goldenlocks is basically a Wonder Woman as well, it just seemed to make more sense for Trixie to be a clone. That and I like hybrid-/clone kids in super hero books lol

 How/when did you come up with the idea of “Glamazons”?

Free Comic Book Day 5/2/2015. I was standing in line at 7 am, waiting to get into the first comic shop of the day right when it opened, had been up since like 4/5 am since I had to drive 2 hours away to get to the shop, and the idea just popped into my head so I wrote notes about it on my iPOD. I was also wearing my Superverse tanktop

 How many “Wondergals” are there really?

Well there are 2 answers, since not every “Wondergal” is a Trixie, but every Trixie is a “Wondergal” (usually). These are what I’d consider the most distinctly different Wondergals that we’ve seen/met (gender swaps and minor changed What Ifs aside)

Trixie!Wondergals: 9

Primeverse, Negaverse, MoT, Ultimateverse, JYU, AoC, Arachnidverse, Eraserz, STS

Other!Wondergals: 6

Power Swapped 1 (Missy), Power Swapped 2 (Tootie), CoT (Chloe), PPR (Chloe), Wandergal, FTT (Roxy)

 So is W(a)ndergal (Shannon?) now part of the Superverse?

No, not *really*. Her show is set in an alternate universe, so there’s a chance that we could meet her (young or old) at some point. But there is no “Shannon Karter” in the Primeverse

 What made you pick that name for Goldenlocks/W(a)ndergal?

Goldenlocks was named Marigold Lockheart because her first name is Goldie, and Hair Razor said she had Goldie’s “heart locked up”. It was @twisted-persona’s idea lol

Wandergal was named Shannon Karter after two famous Wonder Women, Shannon Farnon and Linda Carter (with a K because it sounded/looked too much like Sharon Carter/Aget 13)

 Why is Trixie sometimes called Trisha?

That’s another of @twisted-persona’s contributions. She had this head canon that Trixie’s real name was Trisha, but she changed it to be cooler. So when I started using the clone back story for her, it just made sense that “Trisha” was her personality donor then, you know, to help her be a “real girl”

Arts

 Power Pals: Resurrection:

So this is something that I started a while ago…it’s not a *real* fighting game obviously (and not canon to anything), but I haven’t shared any of it yet because I was going to do individual character profiles, but getting to those in the off time and being motivated to do so isn’t really working…

 Hi-Res SuperTrix:

Made for PPR. Turns out the last time I drew SuperTrix was in like 2011 and yeah…^^;

 Hi-Res Wondergal:

Again, made for PPR. I hadn’t a decent drawn Classic!Wondergal in a long time either

 Hi-Res Wandergal:

Had to try my hand at drawing Wandergal (with some artistic liberties of course), and I honestly do like her. I just…don’t have room for her in my Superverse ^^; thus the creative meta-history I wrote up to explain her character.

 Spoiler sketch compilation:

And last but not least, a sketch compilation of ideas I have in the works for upcoming plots and what not

I hope you’ve all enjoyed the 2017 SDCC Superverse Event

[mephonic]

Pain! A FOP story....

Before we start I want to let you now that this is rated M for a reason; They'll be swearing, pedophilia, blood, horror, and sex. If you do not like these things then I suggest you do not read this story. This is also a Fop with different couples and a different ending. (RemyxTimmy, GaryxTimmy) If you do not like these couples then please leave besides that enjoy the story!~

Pain! How It Started

As the sunset over the hill; May watch her beloved lover Ricky walking towards her, as they gazed upon each other. Staring into each of their soul, loving each moment like it was their last. As they slowly each for each other and slowly pull their face to a loving and passionate kiss

"Hey! Why did you turn it off?!" Timmy and Chester both sitting in Timmy's living room watching Kissy Kissy Goo Goo; one of Timmy's all time shows.

"Come on Timmy! Chester and I hate this show! Why can't we watch something else?" AJ said as he was standing in front of the TV.  Which he turned it off.

"Because AJ!" Timmy stood up and place his hand on his heart. "This show has been with me since I was ten and now the loving show has ended, all I have left is the shows and-"

"The movie that came out" Both boys look at Chester. "Yeah there coming out this week"

"ARE YOU FOR REAL!" Timmy ran up to his room to look through the web and Chester was right, there's a movie of Kissy Kissy Goo Goo but the kicker is. It was rated M for mature.

Timmy slams his head on the desk, he couldn't go see it. Despite the fact that he was sixteen now and was mature than most boys his age, he couldn't go. he couldn't bring his mom and dad since they work and party all night and the only adult he knew were either too dumb or just too childish for the movie.

AJ walks into the room and sat on the bed. "Come on Timmy it's not that bad..."

"I have been watching this shows for years!...And now I can't see it.." Timmy sighed

"You could just watch it on Wish it"

"Wish it?" Timmy asked

Yeah!" AJ typed on the computer and show him the Website. " It has different types of movies, games, and shows! I watch it all the time at my house"

"AWESOME!" Timmy jump with joy.

"...But it's fifteen dollars a month..."

Timmy stops his jumping. "Why can't I have things!?"

Chester leans towards him. "You could get a job like me"

"But I can't...My dad worked and got fired in every job in town...No one would want me!"

Both boys tried to help their friend with his little issue and Timmy was right, no one in town would want him since his last name is Turner. The two boys gave up and went back home.

Timmy waited for his Godparents to show up; Cosmo had to visit his mother since she was sick again and Wanda had to take Poof to his first day of Fairy school.

"We're back!" Cosmo and Wanda hugged Timmy, Wanda saw the look on his face and ask. "What's wrong sport?"

"My Kissy Kissy Goo Goo has a movie coming out and I want to watch it!"

Cosmo laugh. "You mean that girly movie that you and half of the women watch?"

Timmy's eyes widen. "You knew!"

Wanda smiled. "Timmy it's rated M! You can't go watch it!"

"Besides you still have your baby face!" Cosmo rub Timmy's face against his.

Timmy slaps Cosmo's hands away and smirked. "That's why I got you guys!"

Both turn to each other and back. "Timmy we can't let you see the movie...It would be against the rules" Wanda explain as Cosmo put Poof to bed.

"MAN!" Timmy fell onto his bed. "I can't wish for nothing!"

Wanda eyes narrow. "Now Timmy! You're our first godchild who had us for as long as you do! Be happy that you're still young and not old yet!...Besides I love your baby face" She giggled as she poofed away.

Timmy rolled his eyes and went to bed, it was true that he did had a baby face; which wasn't a good thing. He was treated like a child though; by his parents and his godparents, which he didn't mind at first but as time went by it got harder and harder for him. His parents even tried to keep Vicky around, lucky for him that his friends told his parent that they would watch him. Besides that, he does feel insecure about it. His friend Chester looks like a baseball player mix with a model and AJ grew big muscle's since he went to workout camp that his mom made him go.

Timmy on the other hand still looks like, well Timmy! The only thing that changed was his height and hair, his hair was much longer but that was only because his mother keeps forgetting to cut his hair. He just wants to be taken seriously, he still acted like a big baby but still. It would be nice to have an adult conversation without his fairy's covering his ears.

The next morning Timmy was getting ready for school, he looked at himself in the mirror. "Man, mom needs to cut my bangs...I guess it's ponytails for today!"

Timmy ties his hair in a ponytail; the hair stops halfway to his back. He grabs a pair of jeans and a black shirt, he covers himself with a dark pink hoodie and his old pink hat.

He walks downstairs to see the house a mess, as Timmy gotten older his parents became more and more negligence. They began to party when Timmy turn thirteen, they wanted to redo their youngth. Which cause Timmy to be more mature; he would clean the house, pay bills, and buy food. The only thing his parents did was give him more stuff to do.

"I'll clean it later..." Timmy walk to school along with his friend Chester and AJ; AJ has a car but is too scared to drive it. "We can crash!"

Both boys laugh and enter the school; the school itself wasn't as bad as when they were younger, the teachers were much nicer. Better than his old teachers when he was younger but sadly Mr. Crocker had moved to the high school as a part-time janitor.

"You watch where you're going!"  Mr. Crock yelled as the boys were walking through the halls. The boys nodded and ran away from Crocker and ran to their classroom.

.The class was boring but short, most of the day was like that. The two boys sat outside during lunch, talking about Timmy's problem.

"You can work in the baseball court with me! I get paid a lot!" Chester said proudly

Timmy thought about. "it could work...But I would have to wait till next season..."

"Yeah...Oh, you could work with AJ at the program in Workout camp!" The two boys look at their friend who was having a flashback. "Never again..." He whispers.

Timmy cried "Man I'll never see the movie..."

"You mean this?" Both boys turn and gasp. Remy Buxaplenty stood beneath them.

He was much taller than both three boys and much more handsome looking than them but in all looks the same.

Timmy and Remy's friendship has been...Rocky, Remy stopped trying to take Timmy's fairy's but still bullies Timmy and his friend. He even dated Trixie when they first went into high school but dump her when Timmy got over her.

"How?..." In Remy's hand's was the movie itself, the cover was red rose's falling onto the ground and a sunset in the background. Timmy wants it more than ever."How did you get it? The movie isn't even out yet!"

Remy smirked "I'm rich!~"

Timmy tries to reach out and but Remy pulls back. "What can I do to get it?! I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" He smirked.

"Don't do it, Timmy! It's a trap!" Timmy ignore his friends and nodded his head, Remy smirked and walk around them "I want you to be my maid for three months~"

"THREE MONTHS!? But why?!" Remy smiled. "I am rich Turner but this movie was hard to get!...So do we have a deal?" Timmy thought for a moment, Remy wraps his arms around Timmy and pull the movie closer to his face. "Think about it, Turner...You have the movie while the rest wait for about a month to get it..."

"I don't know..." Timmy looked down. He really wanted to the movie. But be a maid? was it wh-

"May is in it~"

"DEAL!" The two shake on it, AJ facepalm himself while Chester tries to think about the situation.

"I will see you this weekend, till then the movie stays with me~" Remy walked away laughing leaving Timmy with an angry face.

The weekend came and Timmy was already hating it, he had to wear a loose white blouse with tight black pants. He told his parents that he had to work today and all they said was. "BYE TIMMY DON'T FORGET THE FOOD!"

Cosmo and Wanda had to take Poof to the doctor so he didn't tell them yet, he walks over to Remy's house. Which was much longer walk than he thought; the house was the same as he first saw it. Big building, white paint, and lots of gold around. He knocked at the door and waited. he turns around and saw Remy's father, Mr. Buxapleny.

"Hello?" The man smiled.

"Oh, hi...Um..." Timmy looked down. Not wanted to show his blush.

"Can I help you?" The man asked.

"Yes, I came to work for your...Son?" Timmy blushed some more. the man has changed since he last saw him. He was much thinner than before, his skin was less of an organ dark but of a caucasian color. His hair was much longer than Remy's and his eyes were different, they were light green.

"Ah yes, my son told me about you...Please come in" The man open the door and lead Timmy to Remy, while they were walking Timmy remain quiet. When they each Remy's room, Remy was sitting on the bed. "Well, it's about time!"

"Sorry...And thank you Mr. Buxaplenty..."

"Please...Came me Jack" Timmy nodded and smiled. "Well, I'll leave you two alone...Have fun~" The man lifted the two boys alone in the room.

"Man he changes...What happen to your mother?"

"She lifted and remarried a man who is two times older than her" Remy said in a cold tone.

"Oh...I'm so sorry..." Timmy said.

"I don't think about..." He jumps off the bed and leads Timmy to a big room. "This is my mother's old ballroom...I want you to clean the floors!"

The floors were nice and white but had a few spots of wine and dirt, It would be hard to clean since the stains have been on the floor for quite some time. Timmy walks over to the closet but was stop by Remy. "What are you doing?"

"...getting the mop?"

Remy laugh. "Oh no you are not using a 'mop'..." Remy pulls out a new but small toothbrush. "You are using this"

"NO WAY!"

"Then I guess the movie is mine...Maybe I'll sell it...Or burn it!" Timmy growled and took the toothbrush out of his hand and began cleaning the floor.

It took hours for Timmy to clean the floor but he did it; he was tired and ready to leave, he found Remy reading a book and told him he was done. "Okay, that's it for today...You can go now"

Timmy nodded and lifted the house; his back was aching and his knees hurt and on top of that he had to go get food for his parents. What a lovely day.

Remy went inside the ballroom and was shocked to see how clean it was, the floor was so clean he could see his reflection. Remy's father walks in and whistle. "Wow he did a good job"

"Indeed..." Remy mumbled.

Jack laughed "I guess he got paid for this one job?"

Remy laugh. "One job? Father he is going to work for me for a while...You may want to get used to it" Remy walked away leaving his father. His father formed a big grin and laugh. "Oh don't worry son...I well~"

(Sorry! Not my best work! But I hope you like it!)

[theworstbob]

i listened to the 100 most popular songs from 2016 today

100) "Perfect," One Direction

I am glad that this list started with a lovely cover of Tay Tay's "Style." I was worried none of these songs would actually be good! Like, this cover isn't anywhere near as good as the Postmodern Jukebox version, but they handled it capably, and it's hard to go wrong with this song. These five nice boys picked a very good song to yap!

99) "See You Again," by Wiz Khalifa ft/Charlie Puth

I honestly can't believe that Fast and Furious is the most reliable institution in America. Think about everything in this country that has failed or is failing us. Think of what is happening in this country, and then think of the few things that are happening which are good. It's Fast and Furious and the DVSBlast Twitter account. Those are the only two things we can trust right now.

98) "Timmy Turner," by Desiigner

So I’m not sure why this song brings up The Fairly Odd Parents, but this is a nightmare to listen to and think about, and I wanna talk some Cosmo. I believe, with my heart and my soul, Cosmo belongs in the Dumb TV Character Pantheon. This feeling exists within me because I will always remember this exchange from one of the movies, after Cosmo is separated from Wanda: Cosmo: I can't date again! I'm terrible at small talk! Ask me about the weather! Timmy: Um, how's the weather? Cosmo: JEFF! Cosmo is such a good character. I am glad for this excuse to talk Cosmo.

97) "Wicked," by Future

So is there a difference between Metro Boomin not trusting you and Metro Boomin being [indifferent to/unaware of] the fact of my existence? I don't think I should be shot simply because Metro Boomin has never met me and thus would have no reason to trust me. I suppose that wouldn't be a good intro to the track. "If Metro Boomin doesn't care to know who you are, you will be permitted to continue living outside his (admittedly limited) purview."

96) "Humble and Kind," by Tim McGraw

Let's take a second to appreciate the irony of the demographic which made this the 96th-most-popular song in America in 2016 is also the exact same demographic which voted for Trump. "Bitterness keeps you from flying/Always stay humble and kind." HEY GUESS WHAT LORI MCKENNA, BITTERNESS DON'T KEEP YOU FROM SHIT. YOU AND TIM DID NOTHING.

95) "Adventure of a Lifetime," by Coldplay

Oh come on why is this like this is no why

94) "Starving," by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey ft./Zedd

Every song Hailee Steinfeld has made would have been a better closing moment for Pitch Perfect 2 than "Flashlight." Again: imagine all the Bellas past and present on stage singing "I didn't know that I was starving 'til I tasted you." And what did Pitch Perfect 2 try to do? It tried to make Jessie J happen, the least noble pursuit possible short of trying to make Robbie Williams happen. They also made Pentatonix Canadian? We don't talk enough about how Pentatonix was randomly Canadian in Pitch Perfect 2. We don't talk enough about how there are two full movies about a capella music and Pentatonix had a total of three seconds of silent screen time.

93) "All in My Head (Flex)," by Fifth Harmony ft./Fetty Wap

Trap Rappers Doing Feature Verses in Pop Songs is already my favorite thing. Like when Kendrick appears in a Maroon 5 song, it's weird because Kendrick made To Pimp a Butterfly, but you can see how Kendrick can fit himself into a pop song, traditional rap serving at its core as a second percussion track. Fetty Wap is on a different plane of existence.

92) "Really Really," by Kevin Gates

I listened to Islah because it showed up on some list somewhere and I remember listening to this song but don't remember anything about it. It took me a few minutes to remember this was a separate entity from Danny Brown's "Really Doe." So I guess I don't mind this, which is enough for this to take provisional second place.

91) "Cut It," by O.T. Genasis ft./Young Dolph

As much money I would have put against the "In Love with the Coco" guy ever having another hit, I would have put even more money against me enjoying it as much as I enjoyed this song. I'm not gonna tell my grandkids about this song or like listen to it again, but it gave me three and a half minutes I mostly enjoyed.

90) "No Limit," by Usher ft./Young Thug

Usher is basically a dorky dad at this point in his career. You kinda knew he was spiraling into the dorky dad phase of his career when he started on The Voice, and his dorky dad status was cemented when he did an American Ninja Warrior course on Ellen (ANW being a healthy conduit for midlife crises), but he does a song with Young Thug, and it is clear that, okay, maybe the man who made "Yeah!" no longer 100% understands what's going on in this crazy world, but he's down to show us he can still party like he used to. Look at him dance! Betcha didn't think your math teacher could move like THAT, huh! Has anyone seen Thugger? Thugger? Thugger, where a -- oh, the -- Young Thug, what are you doing. No, Young Thug, come on. OK. I think we're all funned out. Get in the car. No dessert for you tonight, mister.

89) "Back to Sleep," by Chris Brown

In the interest of perpetuating the notions that protests are effective and that wrongdoers will be punished, I will be continuing my ban on willingly listening to Chris Brown. I'm still listening to "Waves," tho, but I also didn't exactly acquire that album, so I don't feel like I'm breaking rank with that. I understand I listened to a Kevin Gates album, and I will offer a defense of that action just as soon a -- /dashes away/

88) "Watch Me," by Silento

I really wish Billboard would make a rule prohibiting songs from appearing on year-end lists two years in a row. Like, OK, people were listening to this song in 2016, that's OK, but it was released in March 2015! This cannot be one of 2016's 100-most-iconic songs when it was a Song of the Summer contender in 2015!

87) "All the Way Up," by Fat Joe, Remy Ma, and Jay-Z ft./French Montana and Infared

this beat, though. I'd really like to know if that's synth or a real brass, because I can't find any liner notes for this track, and I can't get over the idea of someone picking up saxophone in fifth grade when they needed to start doing extracurricular activities, realizing they loved playing music, working their ass off to become a highly proficient saxophone player, getting to the level where they have turned the saxophone into their career, getting the call to come to the studio to lay down a track with Fat Joe, and then just playing two measures and it's the most popular thing they ever did.

86) "I Know What You Did Last Summer," by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello

The girl kinda sounds like Meatwad and the dude kinda sounds like Master Shake. There's a good song somewhere in here but jfc these muppet voices.

85) "Lean On," by Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft./MO

KEEP IT IN 2015. I AM NOT A CRACKPOT.

84) "Hide Away," by Daya

There was a time in my life where I could listen to a song like this and it would be appropriate, and that time was precisely 13 years ago. I think I have to knock on all my neighbor's doors and let them know that I am a 27-year-old who listened to "Hide Away."

83) "When We Were Young," by Adele

So okay I didn't realize I had listened to some dude do this as his The Voice blind audition, and I didn't even look up what this song was because I was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CERTAIN the dude was singing a Billy Joel song, and now that I know that I heard a cover of an Adele song and thought with absolute certainty that it was a Billy Joel song, I sort of understand why every Adele song leaves me cold.

82) "Pop Style," by Drake ft./The Throne

You know how sometimes, you'll watch some god-awful Dreamworks animated feature that thinks pop culture references count as jokes, and then you get to the end and it gives six different people a "written by" credit? This is why, when I hear a line like "Got so many chains they call me Chaining Tatum," I believe even harder that Drake has a ghostwriter. That line is the sort of painful stupid that only exists when a corporate committee tries to make a joke. Drake is basically if the social media presence of the restaurant Denny's learned how to rap.

81) "On My Mind," by Ellie Goulding

20 deep and we finally found a song I can fully endorse.

80) "Middle," by DJ Snake ft./Bipolar Sunshine

/adjusts glasses /clears throat um maybe turn down for this /bows

79) "Wildest Dreams," by Tay Tay

Man this is 2014 so EXTRA fuck this, but I'd like to say, before we move on from Tay Tay: I think we all know Tay Tay had a rough 2016, or at least as rough a 2016 as anyone could have had while still ending the year being worth tens of millions of dollars. Whenever she releases her follow-up to 1989, it will be overambitious, it will flop, it will be derided, and only overthinking morons like me will stay with it long enough to find its tiny triumphs. But the thing about Tay Tay is, she 100% doesn't need to be a pop star. The second the pop world is done with her, she's going to go back to Nashville, and those hicks will welcome her back with the openest arms imaginable. Her country comeback is already my favorite album of 2019.

78) "Sit Still, Look Pretty," by Daya

BOY AM I EVER NOT THE TARGET DEMO FOR DAYA. THIS FRESH TEEN HAS CORNROWS AND I AM NOT MEANT TO BE AUDIENCE TO HER BRAND OF GIRL POWER.

77) "Side to Side," by Ariana Grande ft./Nicki Minaj

This song gets a lot of goodwill for being the follow-up for the important Ari/Nicki masterwork "Get on Your Knees," and though this is a far inferior work, it does not squander the goodwill built at all.

76) "Lost Boy," by Ruth B

This is easily the second-best sad song with a Peter Pan theme I heard in 2016. Shout-out to Kelsea Ballerini.

75) "Antidote," Travis Scott

One of the things I will miss most about Twitter is the adventures of @dances and Leany, his Travis Scott ad-lib parrot.

74) "Say It," by Tory Lanez

The intro to this music video has two female characters with lines of dialogue, and I don't think I've ever seen a hip-hop music video come closer to passing the Bechdel Test. Anyway this song is nice! It's a lot like that other song I said I enjoyed but wouldn't remember, in that I enjoy it but probably won't remember it by the time I get to the next nice song.

73) "Hymn for the Weekend," by Coldplay

I didn't want to listen to this song, but I told myself I had to for the sake of completionism, and I just, I have so little life's time, and I spent four minutes with a song that I know is bad, that you know is bad, simply to report back to you that this song is, in fact, bad. I don't even have a joke. It's a Coldplay song. What could I possibly have to gain from listening to a Coldplay song in 2017.

72) "Can't Feel My Face," by The Weeknd

I took this excuse to listen to this song again, even if it should stay in 2015, and I learned that they're still making Grammy nominee compilation albums. I still remember, there was one year my mom bought one of those Grammy compilation albums, and I was looking at the track listings, and somehow Bowling for Soup was on it? And I think about Bowling for Soup's Grammy-nominated hit "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" a lot, because it's a potentially problematic song. Like, when you listen to it, it sounds okay enough, it's just a young man recognizing that he's out of his depth with a young woman, recognizing his own flaws and trying to keep up. But then you remember what Bowling for Soup looked like? And the tone of the song is called into question. How can we be sure this song isn't about a young man bleating about how the young woman isn't working hard enough to appreciate him? If you could completely divorce art from artist, "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" would be an undeniable jam, but we cannot, we have to consider that Bowling for Soup left the house every single day thinking looking the way they did was acceptable, and we must consider the persepective from which they saw the song.

71) "Sorry," by Beyonce

One of the funniest things about Serena Williams' extended run of dominance at the top of the WTA is her "rivalry" with Maria Sharapova, because you know Serena is EXTREMELY AWARE that Maria Sharapova makes more from endorsements than she does, and Serena has made it her #1 mission in her tennis career to destroy Maria Sharapova’s credibility every time they meet on a tennis court. I don't think I ever saw Serena Williams play a better tennis match than the final at the 2012 Olympics, like I have no idea how Sharapova didn’t just retire after that match. One of my favorite stats is that Serena Williams lost more matches to Alize Cornet in 2014 than she has to Maria Sharapova in over a decade of head-to-heads. I don't have a comment about "Sorry," y'all know I love this song, I just want to point out the work Beyonce has been doing in getting America to appreciate Serena Williams, and to speculate on who the Maria Sharapova of the extended Beyonce universe is. It's not Tay Tay, Tay Tay is the Angelique Kerber of the EBU (one good year while Beyonce took a few plays off), but who's Beyonce's Sharapova? Katy Perry? They've never been in direct competition, but that might be it.

70) "Luv," by Tory Lanez

This was less nice than his other song.

69) "Down in the DM," by Yo Gotti ft./Nicki Minaj

When asked to summarize 2016 for future generations, I will play them this novelty trap single about sending nudes on Twitter. And then also apologize for the whole Trump thing. I miss snow, too. But "Snapchat me that pussy," tho.

68) "Sucker for Pain," by Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons, w/Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft./X Ambassadors

That this song is actually coherent is a minor miracle. Honestly, I think you could stack three or four more featued artists on top of this before it really became messy. Also shout out to how apparently the lead singer for Imagine Dragons and the singer for X Ambassadors both have shaved heads and beards. This song didn't do enough to convince me those are two different bands.

67) "Unsteady," by X Ambassadors

My favorite thing in the world for years has been my Imagine Dragons cover band, Imagine Imagine Dragons. No one I have ever told that joke to has thought it was funny, but I only need one laugh.

66) "Close," by Nick Jonas ft./Tove Lo

I AM NOT A CRACKPOT: music videos with stuntwork in them should give the stuntpeople a shout-out in the credits. Stuntpeople should get more respect than they do. Like, the fact there's not even an Oscar for stuntpeople when every single movie is comic book nonsense is a travesty. Anyway this is an okay enough song about hot people who want to make out with each other.

65) "White Iverson," by Post Malone

To everything, no. How dare you.

64) "Die a Happy Man," by Thomas Rhett

I take issue with this guy singing the line "Between the bottle of wine and the look in your eyes and the Marvin Gaye." This dude has probably only listened to one Marvin Gaye song in his life, or at least he thinks he does, because this dude 100% thinks Marvin Gaye sang "Let's Stay Together." This is a song about a man who thinks a girl is hot and wants to have sex with her. Like, that's it. This isn't a love song. This dude is just extremely horny and made a slow jam about it.

63) "Ex's and Oh's," by Elle King

Please, my friends. I know losing this song will be difficult, but join me in pretending we do not walk the same earth as Rob Schneider. We have seen what distorting one's own reality has done for the other team. We will be happier in the shared experience we create for ourselves.

62) "Me Too," by Meghan Trainor

As long as this is what you wanted. As long as you can live knowing you have the power to choose how you live. It didn't have to be like this. But if this is the way you wanted it, then I accept that you have made a decision, and I wish you the best.

61) "In the Night," by The Weeknd

It's kind of amazing that The Weeknd released an album called Kissland and somehow recovered to become a legit star.

60) "Never Be Like You," by Flume ft./Kai

So before, my relationship with the music of Flume was, occasionally, some girl would appear in my "Who to Follow" section on Twitter with a cute avi and the display name "I'm Flume's bitch," and she was recommended because she followed people I knew IRL, and I said, "Hey, I'm like two degrees away from whoever that is." And now that I've bothered to listen to a Flume song, I now understand me and the girl from the Twitter recommendations box never could have been. :/

59) "For Free," by DJ Khaled ft./Drake

I downloaded the Snapchat app, but the first time I used Snapchat, it pointed my camera at me, and I knew immediately this was not an app I was going to use for long. And then I tried to figure out how to use it, and I realized that, by the time I figured out how Snapchat worked, DJ Khaled's Snapchat would have grown stale, so I deleted the app. Anyway here’s Drake, bleating as he ever has.

58) "Starboy," by The Weekend ft./Daft Punk

i mean this is just a fuckin' good song. i'm honestly sorta stunned it's in the middle of this list. i thought it was much bigger. these aren't substantive critical thoughts, but nothing else i've written is, so hey let's keep the party goin'.

57) "2 Phones," by Kevin Gates

This is probably the #1 songs in terms of hooks I have muttered to myself while switching my earbuds from my iPod to my phone after work because I work in a basement with no reception and also live in the year 2004 and need my phone and my music storage device to be two separate entities.

56) "Hands to Myself," by Selena Gomez

On the Wikipedia entry for this song, the "Composition and lyrical interpretation" section is four paragraphs long. This is a song in which a young woman whispers about how nice it is to have sex. The "composition and lyrical interpretation" section describes the song as "a come-hither about finding love through good and bad situations." Come-hither is not a noun. Remember earlier, when I lamented that I couldn't find out who did the instrumentation on "All the Way Up?" This information is available for "Hands to Myself," which is still, if you have forgotten, a young woman whispering about how nice it is to have sex. The song is in the key of E-flat major, yes hahaha major key that's right very good, and the tempo is 111 BPM. You ever just think about how much information is on the Internet, how much of that information is necessary, and how much information we decide to take in anyway?

55) "Oui," by Jeremih

I wasn't focusing on this song because I tried to copy and paste the flat symbol into the WordPad document in which I drafted this but it kept fucking up the formatting, which is an insane thing to think about given that I have to reformat this once I paste the words into tumblr, but I assume I didn't actually need to hear it beyond the immediate need of listening to some tunes for this piece.

54) "679," by Fetty Wap

The great and terrible thing about the absence of Punk Goes Pop compilations is that I think "Trap Queen" would have been an excellent pop/punk cover, but they would've given it to one of the screamo/hardcore bands. I'm still holding out hope for that Punk Goes Broadway comp, tho. Maybe if I write enough letters to State Champs, I can get them to cover "I'm Alive?"

53) "Exchange," by Bryson Tiller

"Next time around, fuck, I want it to be different." I respect this song for using fuck as a resigned interjection mid-song. As someone who describes his general aesthetic as "fuck, dude," I think it's a cool move.

52) "Gold," by Kiiara

Yo I dig this! I like how I could listen to this chorus for a million years and never be able to understand what she's singing. "Gold" by Kiiara! What's in there? I love it!

51) "Into You," by Ariana Grande

sometimes i think about "the way," and like i get why ariana grande is doin' what she's doin' now and i respect her and think she produces jams? but man, there were so many other directions she could have taken her career.

50) "We Don't Talk Anymore," by Charlie Puth ft./Selena Gomez

Two duets on this list so far, and they're both not great, but let's ask a question: what is the best pop/punk duet ever? Your contenders are: 1) "Vicious Love," New Found Glory with Hayley Williams 2) There is no two. I care deeply about pop/punk and find the fact there's only one pop/punk duet of note shameful. Do better. Thank you for allowing me this soapbox.

49) "H.O.L.Y.," by Florida Georgia Line

So we've had two bro country tracks on the list, and I have to think this is the last, and this is a really interesting echo. Chris Stapleton, a really unique artist who dropped a dope traditional-country album called Traveller in 2015, won that year's CMA for Album of the Year, which sent a signal to the world of country music: MORE LIKE THIS, YA YUTZES. So all of a sudden, you have the bro country asshats dropping nonsense like this to prove they're "real" artists, that they're about more than having a good time and oglin' babes, they could be Serious Artists. Except their definition of Serious Artistry is just Make A Ballad, forgetting that Chris Stapleton's "Parachute" is a wrecking ball of a song which still goes hard enough to anchor a truck commercial. (It is an important moment in a white trash boy's life, the first time he recognizes the country song in the truck commercial.) But country consumers aren't discerning, and they are happy to have just the slightest hint of emotional acknowledgement (not depth or complexity, just acknowledgement that, yes, emotions can exist, and are often even felt!), especially when paired with religious overtones. The two longest passages in this piece of shit so far have been me complaining about bro country, and I don't even care, bro country still needs to be stopped.

48) "Don't Mind," by Kent Jones

wow okay, that's a candid camera reference in 2016, i expected this song to be bad for a lot of reasons, but i didn't expect one of those reasons to be dated cultural references. y'all didn't you hear the song about using twitter to fuck? you can't honestly be on your candid camera game.

47) "Let Me Love You," by DJ Snake ft./Justin Bieber

I enjoyed that! Good job, everyone! Y'all crafted a nice 210 seconds, and I think this is the most accurately-placed song on the list! This was definitely the 47th-best pop song of the year.

46) "Never Forget You," by Zara Larsson, MNEK

So like the deeper I get into this list, the more I appreciate the seven minutes I spent with Daya, because OK that's clearly not for me? But at least her songs had a character which I could define as Not For Me. What is this. What am I supposed to be doing with this.

45) "No," by Meghan Trainor

dude same

44) "Let It Go," by James Bay

It took me a little bit to realize James Bay was a separate entity from James Blake, who himself is a separate entity from the tennis player. Basically I briefly thought I was gonna get a jam from the former ATP world #4. I didn't. I also briefly thought this might have been a cover of the Passenger song, though, so that's a plus.

43) "One Call Away," by Charlie Puth

About 15 years ago, Chingy made headlines when the video for his song "One Call Away" featured a performance from Keisha Knight-Pulliam, then and still best known as Rudy from The Cosby Show. The Wikipedia page for Chingy states that he has joined a group called the Black Hebrew Israelites, which is for African-Americans who believe they are descended from the ancient Israelites, which, as far as wackadoo religious beliefs go, is far from the most outlandish thing I've ever heard; the Bible never said that, when God parted the Red Sea, he did so in a straight line. It coulda been a curve. We weren't there. We don't know. The point is, Chingy's "One Call Away" is still the song I will most associate with this title, despite Charlie Puth's best... efforts? It’s hard to tell.

42) "Like I'm Gonna Lose You," by Meghan Trainor & John Legend

goddamnit, guys

41) "Controlla," by Drake

I always forget that Drake is just okay at singing, too. Not a lot of dudes can be just ok at rapping and just ok at singing. He's a rare talent.

40) "Same Old Love," by Selena Gomez

Like, this. This is why I appreciate Daya. Daya wasn't this.

39) "Here," by Alessia Cara

But Daya wasn't this, either. Remember this song? This was a great time! A 2015 track if ever there was, but hey, nice to be reminded this song exists!

38) "i hate u, i love u" by Gnash ft./Olivia O'Brien

god this is ponderous. take yourself less seriously, man. "wedding bells were alarms." what is wrong with you. you're a pop musician. listen to Bright Light Bright Light or Fleur East for fuck's sake, get over yourself.

37) "Jumpman," by Drake and Future

I could try to make a joke about how the song Jumpman had its name changed to Mario when it was released somewhere else, but man, that sounds hard. Please just acknowledge that I have demonstrated awareness that the video game character Mario was originally called Jumpman. Please appreciate my knowledge of pop culture fun facts.

36) "Dangerous Woman," by Ariana Grande

I guess the thing is, Ari can release songs like this all she wants, but that won't change the fact that the rumor she has someone who carries her around like a baby everywhere she goes is the most believable rumor in entertainment. Like, everything about that makes sense. It's perfect, and I'm never going to stop believing it, no matter how much leather she wears.

35) "Don't," by Bryson Tiller

OK I officially really dig this dude after he just said the word "skurt" instead of doing the high-pitched trilled-r version of the word. Like, he just said the word "skurt," probably because he can't trill his rs. I love that. This dude's cool in my book.

34) "Broccoli," by Big Baby D.R.A.M. ft./Lil Yachty

i will never know the feeling of stumbling into a time machine and suddenly finding myself 1000 years in the future, the feeling of walking into a world and realizing it has advanced far beyond my comprehension. i can only listen to this song.

33) "Just Like Fire," by P!nk

I looked at the list of #1 country singles to see how many women had scored #1 hits on the country charts. It was three, which was about what I was expecting, but one of them was Pink, who did a duet with Kenny Chesney, and it's just, I accept mortality? But that doesn't mean I have to like it. At least Pink is still dependable. This is minor Pink, but I'd hear the worst Pink song ("Get the Party Started") a million times before I heard "i hate u, i love u" ever again.

32) "The Hills," by The Weeknd

one year, one list

31) "What Do You Mean?" by Justin Bieber

ONE YEAR, ONE LIST

30) "Low Life," by Future ft./The Weeknd

Man, when you put yourself in a situation where you have to listen to a shitton of The Weeknd songs in a short span of time, you appreciate just how good he really is.

29) "Too Good," by Drake ft./Rihanna

So I accidentally clicked on a video of two white teens singing this song instead of the original version? But like I've always said Drake's music is best when interpreted by white teens (see: the late Christina Grimmie singing "Hold On, We're Going Home"), so I'm not gonna say this was a mistake. Oh wait this is a trap cover. Okay. I was not expecting that. Well.

28) "Treat You Better," by Shawn Mendes

So okay I kinda only said this child sounded like Master Shake because the girl in the other song sounded enough like Meatwad that I was willing to say he sounded like Master Shake for the sake of the joke? But see, when I listened to this song, even though this guy didn't sound like Master Shake again, I still heard Master Shake. Create your own reality. Alternate facts. Personal bubbles. We are kings in our heads. I choose to believe this song is a cover of “I Want Candy.”

27) "Roses," by The Chainsmokers ft./ROZES

This song is pretty much "Closer, Jr." Like if you're not ready for "Closer," this would be a way to get you prepared.

26) "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)," by Adele

hey guys adele's morose again, wow, such a powerful artistic statement, greatest voice of our generation

25) "Cold Water," by Major Lazer ft./Justin Bieber & MO

You know, 2016 was awful for a lot of reasons, but Justin Bieber was not one of them, and that itself is actually a reason 2016 was bad. Luckily, time behaves as we want it to, so the world knows to be better because we put new calendars on the wall!

24) "Hotline Bling," by Drake

come on

23) "Stitches," by Shawn Mendes

COME ON

22) "Pillowtalk," by Zayn

Okay real talk we've had our fun the last few years with Ariana Grande's enunciation, but, and I'm willing to concede that I just don't follow the right people, but how the fuck are we letting this dude slide. The song is called "Pillowtalk." He gets six quarter-notes to append the lk. Nope. He just shouts "PILLOWTAAAAAAA." This is unacceptable. Also I'm writing this to listen to the song, and I minimzed the WordPad window after writing the last sentence to check the score of an NFL-brand football game, and I saw a woman bleeding from the eyebrows. Bro, this is a song about how nice it is to have sex. Calm the fuck down.

21) "Heathens," by twenty one pilots

I don't get this and I have zero interest in ever getting it. The reward for getting it isn't worth the effort it would take to get it.

20) "Ride," by twenty one pilots

I have a headache

19) "Me, Myself & I," by G-Eazy ft/Bebe Rexha

see, you know this song is worthless because it omits the oxford comma from the title, something it shares in common with the beyonce song of the same name, which is hands-down her worst single. i'm not even going to listen to it. why should i? it already aligned itself against me.

18) "Cake by the Ocean," by DNCE

THIS IS THE BREEZY SUMMER JAM I HAVE BEEN NEEDING FOR LIKE TEN SONGS, NOW. YOU HEARING THIS SHIT, ZAYN? YOU PAYING ATTENTION, GNASH? IT'S A SONG ABOUT EATING CAKE, AND MAYBE CAKE IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING BUT WHO CARES, THE SONG DOESN’T WANT YOU TO PAY ATTENTION, THE SONG WANTS YOU TO GET INTO A CHILL-ASS GROOVE. BLESS THIS FUCKING SONG. I don't feel compelled to acquaint myself further with this group and their works, but hot damn, if I can't get "Bad 4 Us" in the year-end Hot 100, this is an acceptabe substitute.

17) "This Is What You Came For," by Calvin Harris ft./Rihanna

Rihanna is the queen of songs where you just need one line repeated a million times for three and a half minutes. Also one of these days I'm going to figure out what I'm supposed to be hearing in a Calvin Harris song that everyone else is evidently hearing.

16) "Work From Home," by Fifth Harmony ft./Ty Dolla $ign

Having only seen two Fifth Harmony videos, I can say I have the utmost respect for what Fifth Harmony is trying to do with their platform. Bless these young women for committing themselves to putting a thousand hot sweaty men in their music videos. It’s important work.

15) "I Took a Pill in Ibiza," by Mike Posner

I was not expecting this song to be this. This is dope. It's the grooviest Medium post of the year.

14) "My House," by Flo Rida

I said this in a post about Eurovision or something, but Flo Rida has been making really good and trashy pop/rap singles for a decade, and his longevity is something we should be respecting. Flo Rida dropped "Low" the year Kanye dropped Graduation, and he dropped "My House" the year Kanye dropped The Life of Pablo. That is incredible. He's the Pink of the rap game. No one will ever write a think piece about him or think about his music longer than the song is being played, but he is a reliable dispenser of acceptable music. I love you, Flo Rida, for all you do.

13) "Needed Me," by Rihanna

"Pon de Replay" was released two years before "Low." Let's have a brief talk about how long Rihanna has been relevant. She's not even 30 yet! She won't turn 30 until next year! She's younger than Mike Posner, okay by like eight days BUT STILL! That's so incredible! And she has been doing the same thing the entire 12 years! Like, after the transition from "Pon de Replay"/dancehall Rihanna to "Umbrella"/pop megastar Rihanna, she hasn't really done anything interesting, just solid work on a million different songs! Consistency, man. I don't think there's one Rihanna song I could point to and say, "Now THAT'S a song!" or whatever, but I don't think there's a bad single in her oeuvre.

12) "7 Years," by Lukas Graham

There needs to be a happy medium between ZAYN saying "pillowtaaaaa" and this dude hammering every single sound like pronouncing every word correctly is the most important thing in the world.

11) "Cheap Thrills," by Sia ft./Sean Paul

Before I heard this song, I just sorta assumed that Sean Paul was trapped in 2003, where he belonged. Now that I have heard this song, I can confirm that he is trapped in 2003, but he doesn’t seem to mind too terribly. When "Get Busy" was a hit, Sia was on the Garden State soundtrack. That this song exists is a million miracles.

10) "Closer," by The Chainsmokers ft./Halsey

The definitive words on this song have been said, and I will only add that I'm stunned it's only the 10th-biggest song of 2016.

9) "Can't Stop the Feeling!" by Justin Timberlake

The thing about J Timbies is, we gave him a lot of credit for dropping "Cry Me a River" and winning the break-up with Britney, and he has been coasting on that credit for years. More people bought this song than the smash hit #1 single "Closer" by The Chainsmokers, featuring Halsey. This is just "Can't Feel My Face" by the nice white boy who made one good song 15 years ago. This is from the fucking Trolls movie. Say what you will about Despicabe Me 2, at least the franchise was semi-original, it had those adorable minions, it wasn't a pure cash grab, and it deserved "Happy." This is just gross.

8) "Don't Let Me Down," by The Chainsmokers ft./Daya

These dudes made "Selfie." What a stunning turnaround.

7) "Hello," by Adele

it's an adele song, i don't know what you want from me

6) "Panda," by Desiigner

i still don't understand why this song popped up on The Life of Pablo in its original form. Like, Kanye was just, "Yo dudes, I found this new track you guys'll really dig," and apparently we did?

5) "Stressed Out," by twenty one pilots

Like, I get it? Their whole thing? But I'm so fucking old.

4) "Work," by Rihanna ft./Drake

There's a video somewhere of a small pig jiggling in time with this song, and I will not find this video, because it is the sort of thing I believe should only be viewed once and permanently burned into the memory. This song is important solely for that incredible video of the jiggling pig.

3) "One Dance," by Drake ft./Kyla & Wizkid

You know what I just realized? I thought many rap records were better than Drake's. I get why Tribe or De La Soul wouldn't make an appearance in the top 100, and I get that Danny Brown has little mainstream appeal, but like Q doesn't get any love on the pop charts? Young Thug only gets in with a feature on a goddamned Usher track? Not enough people listened to YG's "FDT" to make it explode? Drake is really the only rapper the kids like? I just, I wish I understood. And DANCEHALL Drake, at that, easily the worst Drake.

2) "Sorry," by Justin Bieber

1) "Love Yourself," by Justin Bieber

So basically, Justin Bieber did the child star bulshit we expected he would end up doing from the moment we heard “Baby,” and then we released some jams and we forgave him for being a shit, because that’s what we do, “Ignition (Remix)” made the world forget R. Kelly peed on a minor, “Love Yourself” could’ve gotten Biebs exonerated for any number on crimes. He couldn’t pee on a minor, it’s not like legendary, but vandalism and DUIs, hell yeah, “Lose Yourself” can cover that. But: did “Love Yourself” need Biebs to be “Love Yourself?” Did Biebs bring anything to that song that made that song what it is, or is “Love Yourself” a song that would still be killer even if they gave it to like Gnash or some other chucklefuck?

THE TOP TEN OF THIS GROUP OF 100, EXCEPTING THINGS I LOVE BUT STRONGLY FEEL SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED 10) “Starving,” by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft./Zedd 9) “Don’t,” by Bryson Tiller 8) “On My Mind,” by Ellie Goulding 7) “Gold,” by Kiiara 6) “All the Way Up,” by Fat Joe & Remy Ma ft./French Montana & Infared 5) “Cake by the Ocean,” by DNCE 4) “Starboy,” by The Weeknd 3) “I Took a Pill in Ibiza,” by Mike Posner 2) “Sorry,” by Beyonce 1) “Closer,” by The Chainsmokers ft./Halsey

[fountainpenguin]

My sister's psychology textbook lists four kinds of parents: authoritative (demanding but responsive), authoritarian (demanding and not responsive), permissive (responsive and not demanding) and neglectful (neither responsive not demanding). What type of parent is H.P.? Cosmo and Wanda? The Turners? The Carmichaels? Vicky's parents? The Fentons? The Mansons? The Foleys? What sort of parents would the child characters become? Timmy? Chloe? Vicky? Tootie? Danny? Sam? Tucker? Jazz? Valerie? etc.

Rather than sort everyone out, I’ll give you definitions and examples and you can decide for yourself. Because I’m afraid, “It depends”.

Authoritative: Considered the best kind of parent psychologically. These are the parents who give rules and explain why the rules are in place. These parents may be willing to change the rules if they and the child are in agreement that improvements can be made that will satisfy everyone.

The majority of parents up there will fall into this category- especially Jazz (though she’ll likely be a pretty nosy parent). All the Fentons show authoritative behaviors, actually. Jack and Maddie have clear house rules and hold their children accountable for breaking them.

Authoritarian: These are the “Do it because I said so” parents. Tend to want things done a certain way, don’t like to budge or change rules much. Prone to clashing with their children when tempers flare. Might ground children or physically hit them when even small conflict arises. Generally very prideful.

Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly, Chloe’s parents lean this way (though they also border on neglectful). They set strict rules with her and express disapproval when she doesn’t act perfectly, causing her to go into those paralyzed mental breakdowns we saw in episodes like “Booby Trap”. 

You could make an argument that the ends justify the means and that this style of parenting created a very good child. But I would counter that with, “But is that healthy for her?” She has panic attacks and breakdowns. So, um… No.

Plus, I mean, during Season 10, Chloe started as a “perfect” child who would be horrified to do anything bad, but by the end of the series, in “Fancy Schmancy”, she has absolutely no problems about sneaking into Crocker’s house in the middle of the night to pull pranks. Not exactly the poster good child there.

Chloe also became an authoritarian “parent” when she became the obsessive hall monitor in “Chloe Rules”.

Permissive: Parents who usually want their kids to like them so much that they bend to their child’s will, backing off from conflict and letting them get away with doing whatever they want, like staying up late or eating in their room instead of at the dinner table with the family, and recoiling when children argue. These are the parents who let their kids walk all over them and don’t enforce rules.

Vicky’s parents would be the best example for this category. See also, “Timmy’s 2D House of Horror”, when her parents tried to leave the Turner household because they were convinced the Turners were cannibals, but Vicky scared them back and they ended up rushing to the Turners for safety - and placing not just themselves but their other daughter in the Turners’ care too - instead. That’s one of my absolute favorite scenes in the entire series.

Chloe in “Dimmsdale Daze” would be another excellent example of a permissive parent. Chloe was so obsessed with being the “fun mom” that she let her parents (kids) do absolutely whatever they wanted at the fair, even though it wasn’t healthy for them. And the fact that her parenting resulted in them getting godparents… Jeepers, Chloe, you messed up.

Unfortunately, many godparents are like this. After all, they want children to be happy. They often attempt to leave the “parenting” to parents (who normally aren’t very good anyway, hence why the kid got godparents) and just play with kids to make them happy, and give them anything they want

I previously described Juandissimo’s and Remy’s relationship. Juandissimo is mostly a permissive godparent who lets Remy do anything he wants, like stay up all night and eat candy, even if it’s not good for him. He sees himself more as Remy’s friend than someone who ought to prepare him for life in the real world as a mature, disciplined adult. I just wanted to point this out because permissive parenting doesn’t have to involve parents cowering in fear of their child like Vicky’s parents. Juandissimo totally loves hanging out with Remy and making him happy. That’s still permissive parenting, even if they both enjoy it.

I also see Anti-Cosmo as often falling into this category. In “Anti-Poof”, he appears to be all bark and no bite. He tried to instate rules over Foop, but when Foop lashed out, Anti-Cosmo backed down, and made no known effort to retrieve or stop him in any way until Timmy took command and suggested everyone sing a lullaby to lull him to sleep. However, “Revenge of the L.O.S.E.R.S.” told us that Anti-Cosmo did put Foop in time-out for putting spiders in his spaghetti, so he’s made some progress.

Timmy’s parents, I would place somewhere between authoritative and permissive. They do set some rules, but they’re very basic, cookie-cutter rules not tailored specifically to him and his abilities / needs, and they often let him get away with doing crazy stuff.

Neglectful: These are the parents who just don’t care. If the child comes wandering in at four in the morning smelling like drugs and alcohol, the parent probably won’t acknowledge their presence much more than telling them to close the front door behind them. 

Think Timmy’s parents in “Ruled Out”. Seriously, it’s literally an entire episode about neglectful parenting. Jack and Maddie may get distracted and spend lots of time enthusing over ghosts, but they’re hardly neglectful by the psychological definition. After all, they feed, clothe, interact with, and discipline their kids on a regular basis. They’re authoritative. Timmy’s parents in “Ruled Out” are the only example I would cite for the neglectful parenting style.

Otherwise, I think Foop is the closest to being raised neglectfully, as between “Anti-Poof” and “Play Date of Doom”, he not only was raised in solitary confinement, but his mind was put under so much stress that he developed a second personality. He falls somewhere between being raised in a neglectful environment and an abusive one as a small child.

H.P., who has 503 kids, is an outlier. I actually have to scratch my head about where I’d put him. He reacts differently depending on the kid, and of course, being a parent for over 250,000 years. He changes. He’s experienced every style. And that’s the thing about these. They’re styles. You can attribute these words to the relationship a parent and child have, but they’re not personalities.

H.P.’s dad Ambrosine is usually a very authoritative parent, and I hope you can recognize examples of that in Origin of the Pixies. He sets certain rules, but is always very patient and willing to explain why rules are the way they are. However, I… don’t think… he has ever changed his mind on a rule when H.P. disagreed with him. Ambrosine is incredibly stubborn and does not change rules if an outside force doesn’t make him, and he’s known for pushing H.P. into doing things he didn’t want regardless of H.P.’s protests, generally explaining why he thought those things would be good for him (authoritative) but refusing to budge even when H.P. was severely uncomfortable and unhappy (authoritarian). Not the best role model, but it makes him a great antagonist for our story even though he’s a nice guy and not per se a villain.

H.P. is the flip of Ambrosine. He sets rules for the entire “household” so to speak, but if you approach him gently (and probably with flattery), he might be willing to bend a few of them for a few kids. That would be authoritative. Longwood, being the gentle type, can usually get him to adjust rules. But kids like Sanderson who storm in all prickly demanding he change his mind when they think rules are unfair will trigger his stubborn authoritarian mindset by making him angry, and he’ll pull the Head Pixie and “You do that and you’re fired” cards to put them in their place. He’s trying to run a business, after all.

However, remember that H.P. cannot handle extinction bursts. He doesn’t like to change systems that seem to work “good enough” because he can’t handle kids throwing tantrums, and will give them something they want if it calms them down. That’s more of a permissive thing. And a very short-term solution. I have this image of A.C. grabbing the phone one day when Foop acts up and frantically asking H.P., “Well, what do you do when your pixies have extinction bursts?” to which H.P., handing them stacks of cash on the other side of the line to quiet them down, grunts back, “What the heck is an extinction burst?” 

He doesn’t like to let it get that far and will usually cave in pretty quickly unless he has strong feelings that urge him to resist (as is the case with retinue duties).

It’s like this: Shouting and arguing hurts his pride and triggers his authoritarian reaction. Whining and screaming makes him panic, triggering permissiveness.

However, he did go through a phase in his life where he was just an absolutely neglectful parent completely. You’ll get to see him that way in Origin soon enough. Not a good time in his life.

Mmhm. Like I said, it really just depends on the situation. These are labels for parenting styles, but shouldn’t be attributed to a parent’s whole personality.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Hare Raiser/Kale Patch Kids review

ok DVR had this recorded so I’m saying its aired. Have my backlogged first viewing reaction review of the episode when i watched it like 9 months ago

Hare Raiser:

 Part of me is partially hoping this is a Hellraiser parody, but I know that’s highly unlikely…

 Also I know spelling different but named after a character. People are gonna get so confused…

 Oh wow Kevin isn’t just a one-off character?? He’s going to be a regular?? Oh wow. That’s sort of awesome. (Note: this is Kevin’s second apperance in the show by production ordering)

 The whole excuse note bit was actually great. From the “Please excuse [them] from certain death”, to the “I wrote it in disappearing ink even though I’m a pencil”. I just, I don’t know, I really liked it. It’s a little long winded for a joke, but it’s cute.

 Is it just me, or does the rabbit look like a Gigglepie? I hope it’s a Gigglepie. Tell me it’s really a Gigglepie.

 Shikadance family???

 “You’d sell your freedom for mac n’cheese?” haha that was also a great line/gag, and it wasn’t as long a setup. These writers are really getting the hang of this now I think

 Ah Chloe, friend to all creatures, liberator of the downtrodden. You also have unleashed the beast unto the unsuspecting masses…yet again. Wow, this is such a good parallel to the monster attack that landed you in Dimmsdale to begin with, isn’t it.

 Ok, making the conflict that Cosmo changed the wands into carrots and then the rabbit eats them…that feels a bit shoehorned…rabbit monster though is awesome. I am going to now headcanon that Gigglepies turn into those beasts…or half their species look like that (the females; the males are the adorable annoying things lol)

 Cosmo playing the background music-yeah ok. “Let’s check these conveniently placed security monitors” lol yes, make fun of yourself more

 Awww, it’s all Kevin’s fault. Poor Kevin. But poor life choices is a Crocker family trait. Loved the “Lights Out” panel though

 Whoawhoawhoa wait!!! “Estranged half-sister”, you ACTUALLY explained how Crocker and Kevin are related???? That is AWESOME! But this begs so many more questions!! Since the Crocker looks are from Dolores, does that mean she had another child?? And when?? Must’ve been after Denzel lost his fairies, which means sister is at least 10 years younger than Denzel…UNLESS she’s older than him. Why are they estranged? Did her father take her away? Was she given up for adoption? Dolores was a teen beauty queen, having a child young is plausible…Did Denzel have a stepfather for a while, if she’s younger than him; is that why he had no problems accepting Vic as his stepfather, because he’s gone through his mom remarrying before? Or is this revelation that he has a sister brand new because she’s older and wasn’t in contact all this time? And why/how does Kevin have the Crocker name then? Did his mom not use her dad’s/her adoptive family’s name? Is she unmarried like her mom? There are so many more questions!!!

 Yay the return of the theme song as a ringtone

 “If this was a horror movie…which it’s sort of become…” lol yes, I love this

 Booger jokes…kay…..well it’s better than toilet humor

 Wow Waxelplax’s office sure has changed…it’s now the vault from the Conjuring

 The rabbit uses the internet. Uhhu.

 Chloe has an aunt!!!

 Haha Scooby moment where the badguy helps you barricade the door. Classic.

 “Your hippie food put us all in danger!” lol that is a great line

 HAHA! I guessed female right!!! Babies are random, but ok, we can roll with it; did ingest magic, so could’ve poofed them up anyways

 “Well the world just got a little weirder” yup, pretty much the understatement of the year there

 And we get to see the Shikadance. Neats! *makes notes of designs for Superverse*

 So over all, not a Hellraiser parody (pretty much knew that), and not a Gigglepie (boo), and the whole reason for the problem was blehish, but over all, actually an enjoyable episode I say! Kevin returned and was a little more explained, and there were plenty of good jokes, so good job guys! Onto the next one!!

The Kale Patch Caper:

 Oh this is exciting! Chloe is such an 80s/90s kid. First she loved the Care Bears parody, now the Cabbage Patch Kids??? Please bring back “Pretty Pony”, make fun of “gritty reboots” with it, by making the new on be like Fallout (and also shout out to the fandom that did that lol). I mean, you had a Transformers parody already. Make fun of the dark gritty reboots with pastel ponys!! (and include Francis at least in the background!!)

 Ok real episode plot time…

 Ok so the Kale Patch Kids are a blending of Cabbage Patch Kids, Veggie Tales, and Beanie Babies I guess…still 90s nostalgia honestly

 Compost Kids = Garbage Pail Kids. That’s not even trying honestly, but do I care? NOPE!! ^^

 Chloe is actually a computer nerd with “connections” online. Huh…I actually called hacker!Chloe right. NEAT!!

 Also thrift store/second hand collectable shop!! Hunting for the rare missing collection piece. Al the 80s/90s memorabilia. When did Chloe become me???

 Crocker running the shop….meh. dad suddenly collecting these and causing the plot problem…meh. Pointless parts, but we’ll still roll with it for now…I guess using like say, Remy as the one who bought it before Chloe could, with eth reasoning being “I don’t want your girlfriend to be happy Turner, because then you’d be happy, so I got it and I’m going to kill it, muwahahaha” to which they both go “s/he’s not my boy/girlfriend!” would’ve been a bit more convoluted. I just want a moment where Chloe says to Timmy “wow you have a lot of enemies for a 10 year old” after she’s had to face like, a bunch of them

 “You didn’t tell me your Dad collected [these]” “I was ashamed” more like he didn’t until the plot said he had to…

 Legal Jorgen, haha. And hey I was just thinking the other day about magic and copyright laws, neats that canon said something about it Rules wise.

 Wow must be a super slow news day if Chet is covering the pretend marriage of stuffed animals…Timmy’s flowergirl design is cute though ^^;

 Heehee yes Chloe, turn to the dark side. Silent Avenger is a cool codename. But again “over the top with the spygear” was a Tootie trait…Chloe really is the new Tootie…:(

 “I may have done bad but I’m not gonna admit that!” lol oh Chloe, you are too cute. But of course you’re going to have a subconscious guilt trip

 You’re still wearing it because it’s cute ^^ and hey purple!

 Badgirl!Chloe has an eyepatch??!! Chloe with an eyepatch??!! Man, I called that too. What are the odds??? I wish Francis was part of this “wrong crowd” of hers though…haha the super villain costume is great; why couldn’t this have aired BEFORE I designed her Negaverse counterpart…also why no eyepatch on this super villain?? Was it all cosmetic??

 I sorta wish Dad had picked up the blueberry instead of the banana there…because red and “sort of a player” could be Knockout, who is also Daran, and it would’ve been a funny thin reference…

 And Jorgen appears again for a third time. Meh, I’ll let pointless Jorgen slide since we haven’t seen him in a very long time.

 Also watching the credits, I find it odd that Chloe isn’t in any of the pictures, but Sparky is…

 But this episode was great. So much nostalgia, so much Chloe development. Limited/no magic, all dealing with real problems in (slightly) real ways. Very good!

 As a whole episode, both parts work very well together. Neither is overtly strong or weak. I enjoyed both quite a bit. Highly recommend if you want some nice, clean, and easy Chloe characterization.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Spring Break-Up/Fancy Schmancy

so, this is the first episode (Spring Break-Up) that i actually have had reviewed for months now, due to airings in other countries. i kept my initial review thought because i do these by my knee-jerk excitement thoughts, then analyze them later on. so, lets see if my initial thoughts months ago still stand up...

Spring Breakup:

Ok this was the first episode saw mention of Chloe’s family waaaay back whenever, but now we know it is not the first or the second appearance of them. After their reactions in Which is Wish, it’ll be interesting to see how the Carmichaels do interact with the Turners again.

 SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMROMROMROMROMROMROMR SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were right at the front of that kid hoard, there’s no way you’re there by accident!! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We haven’t seen you since Squirrely Puffs I think! I thought you went away! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t care that you don’t speak, you are there!! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Not much commentary so far because this is a typical camping episode…you know, the low tech vs the high tech…I’m also not camping person…though one note: Timmy, you and Dad go camping with eth Squirrely Scouts all the time, you do regular camping too, and you even did scouting stuff with Chloe, so…you do sleep in nature dude

 But you just had to make a fart joke. *sigh* well it has been a while…or maybe it just seems that way because it takes FOREVER for new content to be shown

 Forest elves…kay…on they’re Keebler elves, gottchya, carry on

 Chloe believe in magic and being sent a shrink is a yay, I’m so glad she’s getting all her beliefs in the magical world validated ^^

 The Keebler elves are so tiny…I guess they’re a different kind than Santa’s elves...and the elves at Poof’s school who had cookies… FOP now has North and South elves, I love it.

 I am actually enjoying the parents’ feuding too. I like how Connie is the more dominant one and it shows. It’s also nice to see that as kids, though we are total opposites, we are more likely to accept others, whereas as adults it’s harder to look past what drives us insane.

 Children no, the whole “make the fairies attack me so they will stop fighting to save us” plan never works the way you want it to. Don’t you remember that from Sleep Over and Over Timmy? And look as the plan falls part in the same similar fashion. Wow, you don’t learn.

 Ok I am honestly liking Connie a whole lot more now too. We see where Chloe gets her crazy from (which still works even if she is adopted; “I learned it from you mom!”) and how Clark is…well, pretty useless. It’s a really interesting dynamic.

 But of course everyone’s saved du. Connie dances with the very dashing poolboy while Clark is oddly absent…

 And the Crocker button at the end…you know what, I’ll let it slide. It’s not horrible obtrusive, and look an Easter Bunny cameo!

 Over all, another clichéd story, but it was done up pretty decently. I think they’ve finally figured out how to write Chloe and Timmy as a whole unit, instead of pitting them boy vs girl.

Fancy Schmancy:

 How many towering projects you do Timmy? Maybe you should be an architect instead of a lawyer…

 But Chloe just bursting into her neighbor’s house unannounced; I can totally relate XDDD and she said “friendiversary” yay ^^ but 3 months you say? *looks at actual calendar, looks at the camera* comicbook time scale I guess…but whatever! That puts this at about around…(birthday is early March…) late May/early June

 That…I guess *isn’t* a pointless Crocker, but it’s close…

 Chloe is obsessed with owls?? Well, that suits her B/Catman themed I guess…

 “Weird Owl” omr yes, love it so much. Bird song parodies??? I love it. Is he going to voice on here? I know he was doing a bunch of voice acting for a spell there, especially at Hasbro…

 Wet Chloe hair is cute *saves reff for later*

 Awww Timmy said she was his best friend

 Chloe parents! Ok, I guess I see why they forced Spring Break-Up to go with this, because they needed to introduce the parents’ dislike for one another. But you know, if you hadn’t wanted this episode on so fast, it wouldn’t have been necessary, just saying…

 That was yet ANOTHER different string of middle names! I seriously need to rewatch every episode and get her middle names down…

 Still love how Chloe’s mom is still the alpha parent. And “co-parents”, yup they are alternative people (so they’ll totally warm up to Molly and Chester eventually lol)

 I love the 3-prong sockets on the VR helmet, just saying

 But dollar bills rarely give paper cuts I thought, since they’re not paper…

 I’m surprised you don’t know that Wanda, since you know, fairies used owls as a messenger service before. Maybe because they were fairy-bred owls, so you thought earth owls would be different? Idk, just seems off to me

 I like the alarm voice, but lookit Chloe’s fancy dress! So cute ^^

 Heh “over achievers camp”

 “if only there was someone schmancy and riff-raff” I would have guessed Remy but….oh look the catlady, yup, because why add in the previously established rich kid who is a member of the country club, and has fairies, and would probably not help them unless it was in his best interests and thus over complicate the Romeo and Juliet plot by making it more interesting

 “well this took a weird turn” actually Tim, it’s about standard faire these days. But that doesn’t mean it was that bad

 awww hand holding!

 And yeah, gotta follow through with the Crocker, ok I give it to you. And nope, no singing weird Owl. Darn.

 So at the end of it, this wasn’t that bad of an episode. It was pretty basic; it was nice to see the follow through with Dad being rich, and some more of Chloe’s parents. Pretty much filler in my opinion. Won’t know how good or bad that is until we see Goldie-Crocks and the Fairbears which is what’s SUPPOSED to be paired with this episode.

 Again, I feel like the episode selection process for these was very arbitrary and makes no logical sense. Aside fro the fact that yes, you needed Spring Break-Up before so you get the introduction to the parents not getting along, but since we had Booby Trapped months (a year?) ago, we already met her parents, so it’s not like we needed to establish them as characters.