#also those eyebrows DOES something to jamie

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Not Roy and Jamie sublimating their mutual attraction into a fascination with the other’s female relatives.

[ohraicodoll]

i need more tommy x red content, i feel like all of their interactions would be so unintentionally funny, like red is trying her hardest to be nice and tommy is just so scared of her. however i can actually see tommy being one of the first people outside of the ellie and joel that red warms up to. but whenever joel and tommy gets into a little brotherly spat she can get a little mean with him.

😂 I'm doing this headcanon style just because I feel this would have to encompass a lot of different moments lol

Tommy doesn't realize what Joel means by Red being a little wild until a week into their settling down in Jackson because he makes the mistake of grabbing her backpack (mind you, he was just going to hand it to her, but he didn't know how she would react)

Instantly, she's stepping towards him and rationality is gone from her eyes making him drop the bag immediately as Joel steps between them with hands raised. His eyebrows are in his hairline as he watches his older brother try to placate her. He damn near feels like bolting when she moves around him and snatches her bag from the floor beside him, giving him a glare

It takes a good few drinks and forcing his brother to sit down and tell him who the fuck he brought into his town before Joel gives him her full story

She's not just rough around the edges, like he had gauged during that first meal when he met her. He had thought she was quiet, antisocial maybe. No, she's full on raised-by-wolves wild.

He avoids telling Maria for another week to keep from stressing her out. He wonders how the hell his brother found this woman.

This becomes unavoidable when the problems start. She almost breaks a guy's wrist when he puts his hand on her shoulder. Ellie is yelling at people in her defense. Grant comes back from their first patrol together, without Joel, beat to shit for flirting with her. She keeps pulling weapons out on people.

He knows Joel likes her. Hell, he thinks the man even loves her despite his grumblings, ambiguity, and avoidance of the topic. So he's stuck between caring for his brother and his town/wife's wishes.

He tries to bridge the barrier during family dinners and gets nothing at first. It takes a few dinners and a couple of hints from Ellie (who is so much like Sarah sometimes it hurts) before he manages to get her to talk about music. And for a while, she doesn't seem so bad as he watches her warm up and relax and look a little bit more human.

He brings up seeing concerts growing up with Joel before serving in the Army and when he tells her Springsteen was a better show than Johnny Cash, somehow it's like she's a different person as she debates with him.

"You're fucking out of your mind. You saw Cash and you thought Springsteen was better?" "Hey, I didn't say it was bad-" "Springsteen?" "Are you going to kill me if I said I also liked Bon Jovi more?" "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Lighter, quicker in her replies, more at ease. No stutters, no hesitancy. He can see what Joel means about those hints of her former self and he doesn't miss the smirk on his brother's face, even if Tommy is worried she's gonna kill him.

Things get tense when there is discussion of Red getting kicked out. He's the one that has to break it to Joel.

Maria is stressed after more incidents with Red and he's quick to suggest a different job. Less people, something she'd be more at ease with. The kennels were usually run by Jamie, the towns most experienced vet who was having to split time between the dogs and the horses and the farm animals. She's more than willing to have Red help.

Red takes to it quickly and Tommy can't help but feel proud of himself for the suggestion. Joel tells him he talked to her and she's trying even if it looks like torture for her. The incidents go down with the exception of the Harper problem. He makes it extremely clear to her she's to keep away from Red after Joel tells him what happened.

Red does well enough in the kennels that Maria thinks she's good to stay in their commune. The worry eases a bit and he can breathe.

Tommy often finds her there, sitting with the dogs, reading whatever books she can on training and caring for them. Jamie leaves some of her veterinarian texts for her to study and she's quick to focus on that. Joel tells him that when she has a goal, a job, she goes all in and it seems the dogs are her focus now.

He catches her there one day when he's returning Bailey back to her pen after a patrol. Usually they nod at each other and that's that, but he's almost startled out of his skin when she appears right behind him. He hadn't heard her at all. Sometimes she scares the shit out of him and he wonders if his brother has a death wish.

But she looks nervous and Tommy tries to be patient as she stutters out a sentence, almost looking frustrated at herself, "Um...it's getting colder...and, um, the puppies..." She takes a deep breath with clenched teeth and continues more evenly, "I don't want the pups to die and it's, um, too cold. Joel said I had to ask you."

He doesn't interrupt, tries to piece together what exactly she's asking and act like this was a normal situation, "You wantin' a heater installed in here for the dogs?"

She nods firmly before jumping to add (making him slightly flinch), "And the older dogs. The cold isn't good for their joints."

Maybe because he's trying to make an effort or because she doesn't ask for anything ever, but he's quick to agree even though it means arguing with the electrical team. He gets the heaters installed for her that week and even installs some insulation to help.

She seems a little less scary after that.

He's the one to find her when one of the senior dogs passes. She doesn't cry, but clings to his fur, laying on the ground, as if her warmth could bring him back. Part of him wants to go get Joel, but doesn't want to leave her alone. So he sits beside her, resting a hand on her back, and stays.

He helps her bury him and when she goes back to the pen, silent and closed off, then he goes and gets Joel. She stays there for a week until his brother manages to coax her back home.

It seems to break down some sort of wall between them. Even if she isn't exactly warm to him, he can tell there's less tension. He sees more hints of how she is with Joel and Ellie. She gets through a family dinner at his house and even throws a few more digs at his music tastes. When they're on patrol with Joel, she proves she is a much better shot than him and even laughs when he misses their designated target. Joel mutters "half a mile, my ass."

Old habits die hard. Joel was always the one to take charge, to tell him what to do. Now that Tommy is more in the leadership role they butt heads like before. They're arguing over construction plans and Joel is frustrated with Daniel, the man in charge of the project.

He knows Joel has more experience, but Maria had put Daniel in the head role and he wasn't going to undermine her. But his brother is on a rant about all the things the man is doing wrong and he's having to defend Maria's decision.

When things get more heated, Red is there. She doesn't say anything to him, but it's like having a live wolf in the room. He freezes at the way her eyes are blank, hollow, cold. One wrong move and she'd be on him, it didn't matter who he was. The argument ends if only so Joel can keep her from killing him over a dumb fight.

The line is clear. She'll protect her own against anyone. It terrifies him but he also respects it. Joel needs someone to watch his back.

Tommy doesn't realize how much she begins to grow on him until he happens upon her at the wood mill. The men are leering and one is giving her a hard time, obviously coming on to her. He knows she's trying. Trying to be less aggressive and reactionary, trying to keep her head down. But it's him that reacts when the guy grabs her arm firmly and doesn't let go. When she tries to shake him off and he spits out, "Maybe someone just needs to break you in, wild thing."

He doesn't think, old traits flaring back to life. Tommy socks the guy in the face. Hard.

The man hits the ground on his back hard and he just stands over him next to Red who looks unsure and a little surprised, a first for him to witness. But Tommy shakes his hand and hisses at the man, "Don't you lay a hand on anyone like that again, understood? Don't you even look at her ever or I'll break your fucking jaw. You can tell your buddies the same."

The rest of them don't say anything and he helps her grab what she needs before they leave.

They're walking back to Joel's house, his hand smarting a little and her holding the wood pieces she had gone to collect. They're almost at the house when she looks at him like she's trying to dissect every piece of him, split him open and analyze what makes him tick. It's uncomfortable but he stares back with what he hopes is an easy smile.

"You didn't have to do that," she mutters with a hard frown but he can hear the underlining words. Joel always said she has a hard time saying what she means. That you have to peek underneath what she's saying. You helped me, you came to my defense, why why why?

Tommy huffs and smiles a bit wider before patting her on the back. She doesn't flinch.

"I was just lookin' out for family, that's all."

[player1064]

kate for someone reason thinking jamie is homophobic not sure why or how but she does (sara has me obsessed with the idea that they can’t stand each other now lol) and then him introducing her to gary and she’s like 🤯 ft. micah in the corner like you didn’t know he never shuts up about him???

god Kate and Jamie literally CANNOT STAND EACH OTHER!!! I'm OBSESSED with that dynamic tbh!!!!!!! As always. this one is much longer than intended...

Also, don't need to have read it but this is technically intended to tie in to my fic Happy wife, happy life (but tldr Jamie regularly calls Gary his wife partly to keep their relationship under wraps but mostly bc. he finds it funny to call Gary his wife.)

---

“Obviously we’re done for the season right before pride month kicks off,” one of the CBS producers is saying, eyes darting over something on an iPad. “And since you four have been pretty popular we were thinking of including you in some of those ad campaigns, so if I could just get some dates off of all of you –”

“No,” Jamie says immediately.

All three of his colleagues snap their heads up to him, but only Kate looks at him coolly and says “no?”

Micah, because he’s Micah, chuckles and slaps Jamie in the shoulder, trying to diffuse some of the new tension in the air. “Not like you to turn down extra cash, Carra.”

Jamie rolls his eyes, pretends not to notice the way Kate’s eyes are burning into him. “Check my contract. Wish I could, honest,” he says to the producer, feeling very very glad that he had a clause added to his contract specifically so that he doesn’t have to take part in things like this, “But it just wouldn’t be do-able. You lot ‘ave fun, though, with yer rainbows and yer glitter.”

Kate just looks at him incredulously. “This is one thing you decide to take a stand on, mister ‘I don’t care about politics’?”

Rainbows just don’t really suit Jamie, is the thing. Nor does the extra scrutiny that comes from wearing rainbows.

Doesn’t really matter to him what Kate thinks of him, though, so he just shrugs and continues packing up his stuff for the day.

*

“Jamie – Jamie, I finally got onto Raya, can you have a look at my profile?”

Jamie looks up at Micah with a frown. “What the fuck is a Raya?”

“It’s a dating app,” Kate says from her end of the desk, in that unimpressed tone of hers that makes Jamie wonder why she’s bothering to insert herself into the conversation at all.

“An exclusive dating app,” Micah corrects, wiggling his phone in front of Jamie.

“Weren’t you already seeing someone?” asks Jamie, but he accepts the phone with a sigh and puts his glasses on. “I don’t – I’ve never used one of these things, what am I meant to be lookin’ at?”

Micah shrugs. “Didn’t work out,” he says breezily. “How have you never used a dating app, you’ve not been married that long. And look at yourself, you can’t tell me you weren’t a player before Mrs Carra came along.”

Jamie had got around a bit, in his playing days. Not much, mind, because he’d had to be careful, but he’d done alright. Unfortunately – and this is not something he’ll ever admit to anyone, even under duress – any thoughts of that had gone out the window the moment he’d walked onto the Sky campus after retiring.

“You’re right,” he says with a wink, “look at me. As if I’d need an app to find myself a bird. Why’d you want me to look at this, I’m not exactly your target audience. ‘less there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ us,” he adds, elbowing Micah and waggling his eyebrows.

Kate looks on unimpressed as the two of them double over in laughter. “Not that any of us would have a problem if you were, right Jamie?” she says haughtily.

Jamie catches Micah’s eye and has to fight back another bout of laughter. “Dunno,” he says, “I can think of one or two problems I’d ‘ave if Big Meeks here suddenly tried hittin’ on me.”

Micah bursts out laughing again, his hand clapping to Jamie’s forearm, and Jamie can’t help but join in – it’s infectious, okay?

“God,” Micah says, wiping a tear from his eye, “can you imagine how your missus would react. I’d never be able to work in television again.”

“Nah, she’d prob’ly send you a fruit basket, thank you for taking me off ‘er hands.”

Kate clears her throat and the two of them sober immediately at the sight of her raised eyebrow. “Maybe cool it with the outdated banter,” she says, “or do I need to remind you boys that you’re not in a dressing room anymore?”

She storms off, he heels click-clicking away as Jamie and Micah look at each other and try (and fail) not to start laughing again.  

*

“You didn’t want to bring your wife to the end of season party, then?” Kate asks politely, looking slowly around the room.

“Huh?” Jamie says eloquently, because he’s had a couple of glasses of prosecco and he’s not thinking as quickly as he usually might. “Oh, the missus. Yeah, she’s here but  – I dunno, she’s a bit shy, like. You didn’t invite Malik?”

Kate rolls her eyes, the way she always does when Jamie mentions her boyfriend. “Well, he lives in America. So.”

“Carra,” an annoying voice calls from just behind him, “Carra, come over ‘n meet Schmeichel? I’ve not seen ‘im in years, d’you know, I think I’d forgot how tall he was.”

Jamie puts a hand on the small of Gary’s back to keep him from bouncing around too much (the man is such a lightweight, it’s embarrassing), and says “I’ve already met Peter, you dolt. I work with ‘im, remember?”

Gary squints at him for a second. “You drag me all the way down to London, and then y’can’t even be bothered to –” he finally seems to realise that Jamie had been talking to someone, because he quickly shakes his head around a bit and holds a hand out to Kate with a smile. “You’re Kate, right? I love what you do on the show, honest, I’m always sayin’ people need to be meaner to James here.”

Jamie thinks he sees Kate blush a bit, like she hadn’t realised anyone else had noticed her dislike of Jamie, but she takes Gary’s offered hand anyway. “And of course you’re the famous Gary Neville, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she greets. “But aren't you still with Sky? What brings you to our little operation here?”

“Scopin’ out the competition,” he says with a wink, then turns back to Jamie. “Carra – Peter?”

“I said no! I’ll talk to him later, stop badgerin’ me.”

“Did you two travel down from Manchester together?” asks Kate, “You know, Jamie seems so invested in my relationship but none of us have ever met his wife, do you know where she’s got to?”

“Ah, his fuckin’ wife,” Gary mutters, smirking up at Jamie. Jamie winks in reply and slips his hand down a bit to pinch him on the arse.

Micah comes over, his tuxedo strained against his biceps, and he pulls Gary away from Jamie to throw an arm around his shoulder in a half-hug.

(Gary squirms a bit at the unexpected contact, but he still gives Micah a friendly pat on the chest.)

“Big Nev! It’s been ages, man – Jamie told us you were coming, but he’s promised that before and not delivered.”

“Been pretty busy, up in Manchester,” Gary says with a shrug, carefully extracting himself from under Micah’s arm and returning to Jamie’s side. “But I’m obliged to do the plus one thing at least two –” (“Three,” Jamie corrects,) “—fine, three times a year, and I figure there’re worse places to be.”

“Aw, you love it really,” Micah says. “I’ve always kind of wondered what it’s like to be a WAG.”

Gary rolls his eyes. “It’s a thankless job, to be fair.” He pokes Jamie in the bicep and adds “I’m going back to talk t' Peter, you miserable old twat. Honest, I’m always talkin' to Scousers fer you.”

“I already know –” Jamie starts to protest, but Gary’s already wandered off. “Ugh. Sorry about ‘im. You can’t take Mancs anywhere, can ya?”

The two Mancs he’s talking to look at him, unimpressed.

“He seemed nice,” Kate says carefully.

“He’s not,” Jamie replies.

*

“Good summer?” Micah asks, their first show back after the break.

“Brilliant,” Jamie replies with a grin. “It were my turn to choose the destination, so –”

“Ibiza?”

He nods. “Ibiza. The house was done just in time, too.”

“You know, I can’t really imagine Gary in Ibiza.”

“Oh, he hates it. Complained the whole time, but he does that wherever we go.”

He becomes aware that Kate is watching them from across the desk, not trying to hide that she’s listening to their conversation with curiosity. Jamie nods to her, all polite like. “Hows about you, Kate, good summer?”

“It was fine, I –” she shakes her head. “Sorry, you’re saying you go on holiday with Gary Neville?”

Micah scoffs. “Who else would he go with?” he asks, and Jamie points to him in agreement.

“I dunno, his wife?”

Jamie blinks.

He thought he’d got all this out the way, dragging Gary along to the party a couple of months ago. Apparently not.

“Gary is my wife,” he says, then suddenly feels very stupid saying that to someone who’s not already in on the joke, so he corrects to “my husband, I mean. Obviously he’s not – he’s a man. Obviously.”

Kate’s eyes are wide, unblinking. She looks between Jamie and Micah, lips pressed together while her brain seems to be buffering.

“You’re married to a man?” she says eventually. “But you’re not gay, I mean – you’re –”

Jamie, who last time he checked definitely was gay, raises an eyebrow, amused. “I’m what?”

“You’re a footballer,” she attempts, and oh, this is far too easy.

“Bit ‘omophobic, that, sayin’ footballers can’t be gay,” he replies, holding back a smirk.

“Oh shut up, you know what I – you’re a lad! You’re always with the banter, and the…”

Thierry wanders over, freshly brewed cup of tea in hand. “What have you two done this time?” he asks, looking pointedly at Jamie and Micah.

Jamie raises his hands to protest his innocence.

“Thierry,” Kate asks, reaching a hand out towards him, “did you know Jamie’s married to a man?”

Thierry rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fucking Neville,” he replies, and goes to sit down.

[mogglewrites]

Say What?

LukeJamie confession fic (Luke Ver.)

[Also posted on AO3 and my Twitter as a thread fic]

This fic has two different outcomes. This is if Luke wins the fight.

Thank you to my friend @miss-evening for being my beta-reader. You're a lifesaver.

Okay, let's get to the fic.

----------

It's after hours at the Buckler training center. Two men are fighting, each throwing punches and kicks as if their lives depend on it.

All over a simple wager.

"The loser has to do whatever the winner wants."

It's childish, really, but too tempting to pass up.

It's a chance.

Luke gets a sturdy hold on Jamie's shirt, and rushes forward, pushing and pinning him to the floor. The drunken boxer struggles against him, but the combined weight of Luke's grip and fatigue from a long fight drains the energy out of him. Eventually, he stops. He can't win this now. Only the sound of them panting remains. Jamie is ruined under him, face red and hair loose from its braid. He didn't drink at all throughout the match, which was strange. Usually when they brawl, there would be at least one or two sips from his gourd.

"Ugh, you're too fuckin' big, man. Are your arms packed with bricks or something? Shit...," the yellow clad fighter grumbles. Luke releases him and stands up. He offers him a hand, and unsurprisingly, Jamie refuses it, getting up on his own. He sweeps back his long, black hair and looks for where his hair band has gone off to, then goes over to pick it up.

"Don't be a sore loser. Are you gonna back out of the deal too?" Luke crosses his arms, waiting for his rival to collect himself. Jamie rolls his eyes.

"The great Jamie Siu doesn't go back on his words. I'm the one who suggested it anyway," he says as he ties his hair back in a loose ponytail. He's too tired for a braid right now. "So what do you want? Food?"

Jamie turns to face him, but Luke doesn't meet his gaze. He seems to be deep in thought, though he's staring at his opponent.

Does he have a giant bruise on his face or something? Why is he staring?

"Hello? Did I hit ya on the head too hard? Pick something already." He's getting impatient. First his plan got ruined, and now he's being tortured by his opponent's indecisiveness. It's pretty odd, since Luke is always so straightforward. He must be thinking real hard on how he could humiliate him.

"I want you...to repeat what I say," Luke finally answers after another minute of contemplation. Jamie raises an eyebrow at him.

"That's it?" He puts a hand on his hip. Honestly, he's a little disappointed. A chance to make him do whatever he wants and the guy chooses to play Simon Says. But that's fine. He'll let it pass, just this once.

"Whenever you're ready, big guy."

Luke takes a deep breath to bolster himself. He keeps eye contact with Jamie as he begins.

"I."

"I," Jamie says after him. Weird start. Maybe he's making him say a humiliating line or something.

"...love." Luke steps closer. There's a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

"L-love?" Jamie stutters, face turning red as well. He's taken aback by Luke approaching him. No way. No fucking way.

Luke stops. They're standing chest-to-chest now. Jamie is looking up at him with wide eyes.

"..."

The training center is silent. Luke can feel the heat radiating from Jamie's tan skin. Jamie's top is open, showing off the expanse of his smooth chest. Luke sometimes wonders how he doesn't have any scars, even though he seems to get into as many fights as he does.

"You," he finishes, nearly whispering. Both of them are flushed all the way down to their necks. Blue eyes look pleadingly to his object of affection. He's done it. He has confessed.

Now he can only hope that Jamie will accept it.

Fuck, why the hell did he think this was a good idea? Maybe he can laugh it off and say it's a prank. Jamie would understand, right?

"You."

Luke's eyes fall shut. Hearing Jamie say those three words makes him so happy, but knowing that they're probably not true just turns the happiness into a heavy weight that gnaws at him from inside.

He senses Jamie grabbing him by the collar and yanking him down.

Luke braces for impact.

And feels Jamie's lips press against his own.

His eyes fly open in surprise, but closes again as he melts into it. Luke pulls Jamie in, one hand finding his lower back and the other coming up to cradle his face. It began sweet, but a swipe of Jamie's tongue on his lips startles him into breaking the kiss.

"You better not be messing with me, Sullivan, or it's gonna be my fist meeting your face," Jamie growls, sharp eyes burning with passion. Luke feels like his heart can blast off straight into space. He couldn't stop the smile from blooming even if he tried.

"Nah. You of all people should know I don't lie." He gives Jamie a peck on the cheek. He's full on hugging him now, and Jamie is hugging him back! He kisses him again, and again, and again-

"Ookay, that's enough. Leave some for later too, dumbass." Jamie's palm blocks his advances. He looks away from Luke, but his cheeks are flaming red.

"Aww, is the great Jamie Siu defeated by a couple kisses?" Luke coos. Guess he got a little too eager there.

"No, 'cus if you don't stop, I might just fuck you right here." Jamie grins, glancing back at him. Luke sputters in indignation.

"Jamie!" His hold loosens just enough for his rival (or lover? Are they lovers now?) to wriggle out.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he laughs, "I rather do it on a bed." He starts walking towards the door. Where does this guy think he's going?!

"Why you-" Luke catches up to Jamie and scoops him up from behind, holding him in a princess carry, earning a squawk of surprise and a hit on the chest.

"Just for that, I'm taking you back to my place. Better be prepared to get stuck in bed all day tomorrow," he huffs. Call him brash or whatever, but if Jamie wants to tease him like this, he'll do it right back. He's not afraid!

"Cocky much? Don't disappoint me." Jamie drags the tip of his index finger under Luke's chin, like he's caressing an animal. Luke shivers and his smile widens.

"You can bet on it."

[ceruleanwhore]

Last thing I want to talk about before the finale while I’m out here on my bullshit is vanilla vodka. I’m aware of how ridiculous that probably sounds but I couldn’t help but notice that, while alcohol comes up many times throughout the series, vanilla vodka specifically only is shown/mentioned twice, which makes me raise an eyebrow a bit. This is mainly because it’s also the only time they’ve specified a flavor of flavored alcohol, which does make it stand out a bit.

The first time vanilla vodka comes up is in s1 e3 in the middle of the reading of Trent’s article when that narration pauses for a moment to show Roy confronting Jamie about Nate as a way of demonstrating the effects of Ted’s coaching style that Trent was in the middle of talking about. [For the record, the line is: “His coaching style is subtle — it never hits you over the head — slowly growing until you can no longer ignore its presence.”] In the part with Roy going off on Jamie, he takes a sip of Jamie’s drink and makes the comment of “Vanilla vodka? Such a child,” before leaving. The second and only other time vanilla vodka is specifically featured like that is in the Amsterdam episode when Trent, after talking with Colin, goes out clubbing with him and Colin orders vanilla vodka from the bar, which Trent tries and doesn’t like.

Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that the second time this comes up is with those two at that point in that episode, I would’ve just ignored this. However, something about having Trent come out to Colin and them bonding over being gay with Trent becoming like a mentor to him and then, coming off of that, having them go out and have a positive experience together with Colin comfortably being himself and all of that then has the aforementioned vanilla vodka thrown in, like an endcap to that whole thing, feels like a deliberate callback to s1 e3. This could serve to point out that Jamie and Roy are in fact super gay for each other but, like Colin, they aren’t comfortable acknowledging that yet and need a nudge like Colin got from Trent or perhaps it could be about Trent himself, the one common denominator between those two scenes.

If it is supposed to be indicating something about Trent, then I feel like whatever it’s pointing at would have to also feature Ted, since that’s who he was talking about in the first scene. So then, if these two scenes are linked and are meant to point to something involving both Ted and Trent, then I feel like the natural conclusion is that it’s meant to indicate that Trent isn’t just into men, he’s specifically interested in Ted. The other thing is that we are still talking about vanilla vodka as a symbol here, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that vanilla comes from a type of orchid, like saffron, and if you look up the meaning of orchids in flower language, they represent love, beauty, fertility, and virility. As far as a symbol in media to represent attraction, I’d say that’s pretty damn solid. Also, maybe this is a reach, but I do think it’s worth noting that it’s vanilla vodka, not any of the other million other vanilla flavored things out there, and that alcohol historically has been referred to as ‘spirits.’ If we go with this combination of symbolic meaning, then this vanilla vodka could actually be representative of a spirit filled with love and admiration of something beautiful.

The last thing I want to talk about with this ridiculous post is how Trent views Ted at both of those points in the season. In s1 e3, he went in skeptical and then spent a whole day with Ted, which changed his mind and gave him a far kinder view of the other man than anyone thought he would have. The article he writes is still kind of critical, but the entire second half is basically praising and expressing wonder at Ted. What we get in that episode is Trent Crimm being curious about and inspired by Ted and we see as some change is sparked, like this is the very beginning of the massive development we see from here out. In comparison, s3 e6 is basically showing sort of the end result of all that change Trent went through that was initially sparked by Ted. We see Trent being nothing but kind, helpful, and understanding, showing absolutely no interest in using anything at all from that episode in his writing even though that’s officially why he’s there, and it’s because of Ted. I think the vanilla vodka really serves most to mark the start and end of Trent’s individual character arc, which entirely centers around Ted, and perhaps also indicate that, while Trent himself has completed his own arc, there might be more to come regarding his relationship with Ted. And yeah, I know how wild that sounds lmao

[chenford-fan]

Chenford + friends with benefits

Hi Anon! Hope you will like this. This is my first time writing a Tumblr prompt. I tried to do this prompt justice, and hopefully, you will like it.

"Babe, let's watch Friends with Benefits, a 2011 rom-com. This is one of my guilty pleasure movies," Lucy says as she curls up on her couch and covers herself with a quilt. It was her third day following her last UC assignment. After her and Tim’s much-needed sincere conversation, a long bath, and a 24-hour long sleep, Lucy finally feels like herself. Sergeant Grey has given Tim and her a week off, and they've spent the last one and a half days having their desired sexy time all over the apartment as Tamara is on a weeklong study tour with her classmates. As much as Lucy adores Tamara, she needed this week alone with Tim, especially after such an adrenaline-charged week.

Tim appears from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn, and kisses Lucy on the forehead before settling down next to her. This causes her to melt into his gentle kiss. She scoots towards him and rests her head on his shoulder as he takes his seat next to her." He quips, "Yeah, we'll have to make do with it since you have already watched the new season of Top Chef without me, and that too after you made me promise not to watch it alone." She swats his chest and squeals "no" as she raises her head from his shoulder. She looks incredibly cute doing so. Too irresistible for him, who is still in a haze after their mid-evening sexy time. So, he simply puts the bowl of popcorn on the table and takes her face in between his palms, kissing her passionately. It is filthy and has the potential to turn into another couch sex session, but Lucy stops and says, "Babe, nah, I wanna watch this movie now, and later we can continue this in the bedroom after dinner. Furthermore, this caramel popcorn smells too good to waste. So, Bradford, keep your mouth and hands to yourself." Tim takes a breath and makes an effort to school himself, but he holds onto her nonetheless, drawing her even closer.

Lucy looks up into Tim's eyes and asks in a fake stern voice, "So, are we watching this movie or what?" while still in Tim's embrace. He says, "Yeah, yeah, play your movie," making a conscious effort to focus on something other than her large, exquisite brown eyes. She smiles and presses play, wrapping Tim and herself in the quilt as she snuggles next to him, and Tim wraps his arms around her shoulder. They become engrossed in the film once it begins. She observes that the film appears to have succeeded in eliciting some laughs from Tim. He laughs throughout the scene as he watches Mila Kunis' Jamie and Justin Timberlake's Dylan negotiate the terms of their arrangement before having sex. During the flash mob scene, she also notices Tim rolling his eyes at the screen. But as the credits start to roll, a smile spreads across his face.

"So, did you like the movie?", Lucy grins and inquires. "You call this a movie! Really? We just squandered an hour and 48 minutes of our lives watching this when we could have watched classics like It Happened One Night or Breakfast at Tiffany's," Tim says with mock disdain. This, however, does not fool her, as she remarks, "Huh, stop lying, Grandpa; you know I can read you. Right? And we've already seen those movies, and we like them, but you liked this as well," she said, raising an eyebrow and tickling his side. He finally gives up and lets out a hearty chuckle before saying, "Okay, okay, okay. I agree that it was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated, and I had a good time. However, it might have just been you; perhaps your adorable popcorn chewing made the movie bearable."

They've been dating for almost nine months, and yet a single compliment from Tim still makes her cheeks flush like a rose. She then scrunches her nose in a cat-like manner and gazes into his eyes. She gently pushes Tim away as he is about to pull her in for another round of couch make-out and says, "Neah. We'll watch No Strings Attached now. Okay, time for some trivia: Did you know that this movie and Friends with Benefits were both released in the same year and essentially share the same plot? Additionally, the No Strings Attached actor Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis from Friends with Benefits are married in real life. Another interesting fact: In real life, these two began as friends with benefits and fell in love within months. Exactly like in the movie!"

Tim scoffs and says, "Fools, they already did these two movies and still tried something stupid like this. Seriously, actors are just dumb people." Lucy furrows her brow and mocks, "Tim, by your logic, no one but the cops are intelligent. Isn’t it?" Tim says, "Damn straight," in an earnest voice and straight face. Lucy titters and exclaims, "Babe, you're hopeless!"

"Okay, tell me, do you think we could have ever been friends with benefits?" Lucy asks before Tim can respond. "Nope," Tim says, popping his P. "So, you're saying that if we weren't in this relationship and were both single, and I offered you to be my friend with benefits, you would have declined?" she inquires, a little perplexed. Tim nods and shakes his head, signaling ‘yes’. "You found me attractive before we started dating, right?", with a perplexed look on her face, she asks as she turns entirely to face Tim."I mean, yeah, of course, you did. The way you ogled at me at Lopez-Evers' first wedding! You did lust for me, didn't you?" she continues, speaking more to herself than to Tim. “Okay, to answer your questions chronologically: First, yes, I did find you attractive even then. To be completely honest, I liked you before it would have been appropriate for me to. Second, come on, I was just checking you out respectfully. The third and most importantly I have never merely lusted after you. And that's why I'd never been your friend with benefits," he replies, pressing his lips together in a line to hide a smile.

Lucy's now puzzled, so she stands up and asks, "So let me get this straight: you were attracted to me, and that's why you didn't want to fuck me? How does it add up, Sergeant Bradford? Could you please elaborate? Sir, just enlighten me with your seer wisdom." She continues after recalling what John had said to her after their first run-in with the Feds about Tim's hook-up with a CIA agent: "And don't you dare pretend as if it were some moral code or something, because I know about your little hook-up with Katie Hall during your army days." "Nolan and his big mouth!" Tim mutters under his breath. "Huh, what did you think just because you sent me back under the guise of assisting Lopez? I won’t get to know. We still diss our TOs. And when I say ‘still," I mean "STILL NOW." Lucy almost yells the last part with a combined expression of mischief and exasperation on her face.

Tim extends his hands and tugs Lucy into his lap on the couch, and in a very serene voice, he says, "Officer Lucy Chen, this Sergeant of yours was always awestruck by your enchanting presence. And no, it has nothing to do with my morals or honor; instead, it is entirely about you. I knew after our first hug that if I touched you intimately, there would be no going back. If we had crossed the line, I would have made sure that you were mine and mine alone, so I could never have remained just your friend who occasionally fucks you. I've always known that once I touched you, I'd kill anyone who even considered doing so. Lucy Chen: I had fallen in love with you long before I realized it."

Lucy looks up into his eyes, tears welling up in her own. They have both been aware of this since their first failed date, if not earlier, but they haven't had the courage to acknowledge it out loud yet. She doesn’t know how to respond because Tim proclaimed it with such nonchalance. So, she closes her eyes, cups Tim's face in her palms, and kisses him while stuttering, "I... I... love you too, Tim." As she opens her eyes, she drags a deep breath, and through her sobs, she declares in a whisper, "God, I'm not sure from exactly when, but maybe from the day I woke up with you reading Teen Rebel by my hospital bed," against his lips.

Tim gets up from the couch with Lucy wrapped around him, lifting her along as if she were a weightless bundle of clothes, and says with all the love in his voice, "Lucy, you have bewitched this hardass TO of yours since the day you set foot in my chaotic life. You brought me peace and stability. Baby, you made me a better person. And now I can't imagine going a single day without having you by my side." Tim then kisses her cheeks, wiping her tears away, and whispers, "Baby, now if you'll let me, I'd like to show you just how much I love you. Would you please allow me to worship you?" As the heat rises in her lower belly and her cheeks begin to flush, Lucy nods and gestures 'yes.' As Tim carries her into the bedroom, she thinks about how she never imagined that watching a mediocre rom-com would lead to a love confession. However, she simply closes her eyes and thanks the universe that it finally happened.

[to-all-the-stories-i-love]

Special Gift for Contribution of Liveliness and Aliveness to and of baeklination blog in the Year of 2022:

Yes, I'm a bit late, but it got a bit cramped at the end of the year (but it's not season based anyway).

Warnings/Contains: I'll let it be a surprise, but SMUT 🔞, wc: 1,5k

NOTE: When I did the FS:Yoga you had a tag about pilates daydreaming (not to put you on blast here). I felt it was too close to yoga to do an official on, but it gave me the idea of writing a little something up sometime - and since "sometime" has a way of coming 'round faster than we expect I still remembered it a year later. You might be able to glean a few references as well. Anyhow, hope you like it.

Thank you 💚

¤¤

It's inevitable. Baekhyun does his best to send a message - not interested - by keeping to the right, yet there it is; a leaflet pushed into his hand. After a quick scan he can say it honestly:

"Pilates? Not really my thing."

When he tries to hand it back, the woman puts her hand up, rejecting his gesture with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Give it a go. You might like me more than you think."

Somewhat amused by her wording, he chuckles and continues for his car, skimming through the advertisement as he goes, but pauses between opening the door and getting in. Putting thumb and index in his mouth he lets out a short wolf whistle and the woman turns towards him, raising an eyebrow at his cocky ways, but without paying it any mind (because she probably doesn't mind) he holds up the leaflet:

"So what's your name..!" 

"Jamie..!"

•

You can't believe it. Although you sort of can, counting in the cocky nature of him. 

There, in the furthest row back, farthest right, he sits on a mat in all black everything - tee, tights, and the shorts over - smiling. He looks rather pompous, but oh, he must be fun, coming all the way down here to jump through hoops.

"I'll start with a welcome back to my regulars and a welcome to the newcomers. I'm Jamie, your instructor for today. Feel free to introduce yourselves, maybe a bit about any previous experience with Pilates or exercising."

You're always sincere when asking, but today you're a bit extra sincere; curious about him. And so it is that Baekhyun is his name and he's into classic weight training. 

It's natural for anyone unacquainted to struggle somewhat, but as time ticks by he's showing to be less stiff than the usual "weighter" - a plus in the margins - but his already developed core also makes some things easier for him, which is why you stop by his side during your walk-around when they do bridges.

"It's too easy for you, right?"

"Bland."

"Okay", you say, raising your voice to signal your message is for the entire class. "If you're comfortable with the exercise as is, then continue. If you want to up the resistance …grab the circle next to you and place it between your knees like this."

Baekhyun doesn't mind being the instrument of your instructions, so parts his thighs to let you sandwich it in between.

"Now you just do the motion in the same way, raise up and squeeze the ring, squeeze those glutes, then pulse for twenty - and don't forget to breathe."

Satisfied the rest of the group are managing on their own you turn your attention back to him, touching the underside of his thigh.

"Better?"

"I'm usually the thing between legs…" 

You roll your eyes at him while getting up - he clasps his hands behind his head, raising his hips like you told him to, suggestively biting his lip. 

•

You start off trying to think of a good excuse but decide the way he was acting, you probably won't need one and subsequently knock, knock, knock on the door to the locker room, wait a few seconds, then go in.

Seemingly newly showered, Baekhyun's hair is damp here and there just like his back and shoulders and he's closed the towel tightly around his waist, revealing the contours of his glutes. When he turns around it's not with an expression of surprise or shock - not even cockiness. No, he merely looks back at you with an unruffled, scorching gaze and lets his towel fall to the floor - let's get on with it.

By the time you've reached him he's sitting, condom safely rolled on.

"It's a bit conceited bringing protection to the rec center, no..?"

"Oh, women seem to like me wherever I go…", he muses, running his hands up your thighs, then down, taking your tights and underwear with. 

You put your hand on his shoulder for support when you straddle him, his clavicle pressing against your palm as you do, and let him steer his cock right. 

You shudder with elation when you press down and feel the thick head slide through and continue upwards. Equal parts introduction, equal parts satisfaction, you ride him slow and steady with feet firmly planted on the linoleum underneath. 

His hands caress along your thighs, to your ass; his warm lips sensually taste yours.

"Don't tease me", he whispers. "Fuck me."

"You didn't learn any patience from class..?"

"You know I only came here for one thing. Seeing you contorting up there made it worse, uhh…so fuck me."

You bring yourself down hard.

"Like that?"

"Ah…uhm, like that…"

His hands stay on your waist until you push him down and get into the real tempo of things. And he's right - it is better just like that. 

His thighs - just toned, just soft enough - pressing beneath you; his damp torso gleaning under the direct lighting; the gratification painted on his face through faintly moving lips and knitted brows…

Baekhyun's got that kind of cock that makes you selfish, makes you slip into your own world of hedonism with fluttering eyelids, fingers clutching thighs and lightly tugging at your folds, careful to not bring yourself - or him - over the edge and have this luxury be over. He's of the same mind, taking deep breaths and exhaling stably through his mouth, enjoying what's being offered to him.

 But when his abdomen contracts it's followed by a twitch of his jaw and sensuous grunt before he reaches to grab your wrist.

"I'm sure I saw a mirror coming in..?", he says more than asks, pulling you down. 

"Several. You wanna do them one-by-one..?"

The way he laughs while tugging at your lip... The way he squeezes your ass…

"Oh, you're a dirty girl…"

The smack from his hand travels deliciously in between your legs.

°

He's attractively nonchalant in the way he throws his towel on the floor in front of one of the mirrors to the way he then pulls down the straps of your top, humming when he's yanked the front down as well to reveal your breasts. 

"Now, why wouldn't you want to show these off…", he whispers like chewing gum, pressing his cock deep while squeezing your breast.

The smallest raise of his hips is enough to tickle your fancy - literally. Seeing him undulating, his face half hidden behind yours is such a turn on and from below his cock peers through as he smoothly rolls it in and out. Whether it's due to your restless hands or his own preference he brings his fingers to your folds, softly caressing before pushing them apart and turns his smoothness to electrifying bucking.

The clear layer and strings of fluid on and around your clit is slippery - almost too slippery - against your fingers, but being unable to firmly press lends a kind of debauched, erotic, desperation to your fleeting flicks.

Using all four your press down and rub, becoming tighter around the hips while your muscles grip at his cock like a heartbeat; Baekhyun groans and pounds quicker, brushing his tight balls against your skin.

If it wasn't for his hands holding you, you'd close your legs in a spasm but now your pelvis pushes forward with a violent tremor while you douse his cock in your orgasm to the background music of his heated growls.

A puppet under his own untamed needs, one of his hands immediately goes to your throat - it's his turn. 

He barely takes his eyes off your reflection while repeatedly driving himself in, flexing his jaw at particular buzzes, closing his fingers on your waist. His shower was all for naught as sweat now covers the both of you to make his thrusting ring out even clearer in the otherwise silent room.

His breath moves from mouth to nose; becomes heavier…..heavier….

"Agh!"

His lids shut tight before his head drops to your back, moving along with his cathartic, deep, thrusts.

Your pounding hearts feel like an edm track - the sweat and fatigue as if you've been dancing all night. 

Separating your folds with the one hand to get one last look, he coos while brushing his nose against your neck:

"Mmm, this is going in my memory bank…"

°

"Ugh…"

Not having time to shower before your next class isn't ideal, but hopefully you'll be far away enough that they won't notice. Stopping just shy of the entrance to tie your hair in a neat-ish bun you overhear what seems to be your next customer speaking on the phone:

"...damn rehab…waste of my…"

"Great, who's this a-hole" you think to yourself, but put on the most amiable smile when you step over the threshold.

Seeing you enter, the man ends the call and puts on an equally artificial smile as yours: 

"I'm here for rehabilitation..?" When he takes your hand there's a flicker of something in his eyes. There's something alright... "...Kwon, Jiyong."

●

The SCREAM I just SCREAMPT!!!!!! I LOVE YOU! I love your WRITING! But OMG I LOVE THISSSSSSSS😍😍😍​you have stolen my heart and dearest fantasies and put them in words that dreams my skip- THANK YOU, THANK YOUUUU 💕💕💕💕 @baeklination

[jamietxrtt]

.

“I guess I just… I mean, the only reason I’m still here, the only reason I made it this far, is because Ted gave me a second chance. He let me back on the team. And he didn’t have to-- he almost didn’t let me come back at all. But he chose to give me a second chance. So isn’t that-- shouldn’t I be, like-- paying that forward, or something?”

Roy took a deep breath. “No.” When Jamie looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Roy continued. “I mean, maybe. I don’t know. To me those situations aren’t the same at all.”

“How so?”

Roy stared at Jamie openly. “Jamie. Come on. There’s no possible way you can compare Ted forgiving you with you forgiving your father.” He shook his head. “You never-- you never really hurt Ted. You were a brat, yes. And you were fucking annoying. And you were a pain in all our sides. But you could never-- and sorry if this is fucking dismissive or whatever, but it’s the truth-- you were never really more than a nuisance to Ted, and to me. It wasn’t like you could ever do anything to actually affect us more than causing annoyance and frustration. Compare that to your father, who--" Roy's voice broke, his lungs rebelling at the thought of even attempting to describe what Jamie's father had done. "Twenty years. No? Twenty fucking years of him making your life hell-- of-- of abusing you, Jamie.”

Jamie flinched at the a-word, like Roy knew he would. Jamie was never comfortable with that word, and had asked Roy many times not to use it when discussing his father. Usually, Roy accepted that. But right now, he had a point to make, one that relied on Jamie not hiding from the magnitude of his father’s actions.

“You being a brat to Ted for a couple months is just in no way comparable to that. At all. There’s a big fucking difference between forgiving someone after they’ve proven to be worthy of trust, that they’re fucking improving now, and recognizing that and allowing them to grow-- versus just letting someone continue to hurt you after they’ve already been hurting you for twenty fucking years just because you-- you think you deserve to be punished for some shit you did years ago--”

“I never said that!” Jamie snapped.

“Tell me it’s not fucking true, though.” Roy held Jamie’s gaze, fiercely intent on not letting him back out of this one.

Jamie didn’t last a minute before he buckled, looking down and away silently. He shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” Roy took a deep breath, shaking with rage and emotion.

“And-- and also, all this talk about fucking second chances and shit, this isn’t even you giving him a second chance! And I know that, because for this to have gone on for nearly twenty fucking years means you must’ve let a lot of things slide. Every time you cover up a bruise and still answer his calls the next time your phone rings, that’s you giving him another chance. And has he done anything different any of those fucking times? No. This isn’t you giving him a second chance, Jamie. It’s you giving him a thousand-and-second chance. And if he’s never changed before, what makes you think this will be the time when he does?”

Jamie set his mug down, shaking his hands out nervously. “But Ted always says--”

“Well, Ted’s wrong!” Roy burst out, suddenly fuming. “You know you don’t have to listen to everything he says one hundred percent of the time, right? Jesus Christ, Jamie, he’s not God. He can be wrong, you know.”

“I know that,” Jamie spit back. “I was just gonna say, like… I received a thousand-and-one second chances too, back when I was a dick, and I never took any of them for years. And doesn’t Ted always say to never give up on people? It took me being given a thousand and two chances to finally take one, and I wouldn’t have been able to do that if Ted hadn’t kept giving them to me. So like-- it just feels wrong to give up on him. My dad. It feels wrong to give up on him, just because he’s never taken any chances before. What if this is the time that things are different?”

“What if it’s not?” Roy shook his head. “Or, fuck, even if it is-- how long are you gonna have to put up with his shit in order to get there? Why is it worth it for you to hurt for his own fucking self improvement? Why is that a price you’re willing to pay?”

“Because Ted paid it for me!” Jamie was getting animated now, too, scooting to the edge of his chair and gesturing with his hands. “Ted paid it for me, and you paid it for me, and fucking-- Sam and Nate paid it for me, and everyone I hurt who let me come back anyway paid it-- took the chance that I’d hurt them again-- so that I could fix my shit. It’s just-- it’s fucking… paying it forward. Isn’t it?”

“No.” Roy shook his head vehemently. “No, Jamie, it’s fucking-- nobody paid it for you. Nobody let you keep hurting them just to aid your own fucking emotional growth or whatever. I mean, didn’t Ted tell you when he let you come back that if you ever fucked with Sam again-- even one time-- that he’d drop you from the team so fast your head would fucking spin?”

“I mean… not in those words, exactly, but yeah.”

“Right. So-- that was the whole fucking point, then. To throw the safeguards up. To make sure that nobody got hurt again. Because people getting hurt is not worth it. It wouldn’t have been worth it to let you come back if Sam had kept getting hurt from it. And it’s not worth it now to give your dad the fucking time of day if it means you get hurt from it.” Roy took both of Jamie’s hands in his own, practically begging him to listen. “Christ, Jamie, it’s not fucking worth it. Please.”

Jamie looked down, his eyebrows wrinkling up like they did when he was always deep in thought. He slipped his hands out of Roy’s, scooting back away from him. But it seemed like he was listening.

“If you wanted to do this,” Roy continued. “If you really, truly did, you could’ve fucking asked me to be the safeguard! I’d have done it in a heartbeat. I could’ve been with you when you saw him, made sure this didn’t go south again. We could’ve done this safely! We could’ve--” he cut himself off, pressing a palm to his forehead when he realized how what he was saying sounded. The last thing he needed right now was to start blaming Jamie for this, make him think it was his fault for doing it wrong.

Roy took a deep breath. “I wish you’d told me,” he said, much more quietly. “I could’ve stopped it-- I could’ve gotten you out of there-- before it got this bad.”

Jamie was still silent.

“But I’m not sure you even did really, truly want to do this, Jamie. That’s why I yelled at Ted. I don’t think you really wanted this. And maybe I’m-- maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m way off-base here, maybe I’m being an asshole. But to me it kinda seems like you only did this because Ted told you to, and so you thought you had to. I just-- I wish you’d told me.”

After another moment of quiet, Roy looked back up at Jamie. He was sitting strangely, different from his usual casual air-- tight and pristine, posture straight, hands folded neatly in his lap. Still, he was fidgeting, one thumb running up and down the back of the other hand.

“I think…” Jamie said slowly, quietly. Roy wasn’t sure how much of the past minute of their conversation he’d heard, wasn’t sure how long he’d been lost in thought. “I think maybe you were right, earlier.” His thumb nail dug into his skin. “I think maybe part of me did think I deserved to… deserved this.” He gestured halfheartedly at the bruises on his face. “Maybe part of me was… looking for it. And that’s why I never told you, or anyone, so that you could keep it in check. Because I didn’t want anyone to keep it in check. Maybe I was… hoping, almost, that it would get bad again. So I could… get what I… deserved.”

The silence following that admission was nearly unbearable. The ticking of the grandfather clock in Roy’s dining room had never been so loud. Despite Roy essentially accusing him of it earlier, it was one thing to suspect it and entirely another to hear Jamie admit it. In the same quiet, calm sort of voice you might use to explain something horrible to a child.

Roy’s emotions always seemed to catch him by surprise, these days. One second he was watching Jamie intently, trying to process what he had just said, and the next a huge lump had lodged itself in his throat, dangerously close to escaping as a sob.

He couldn’t speak. Even if he could manage to open his mouth without that lump escaping, there would be nothing to say to that admission. Nothing.

So Roy lurched forward instead, tugging Jamie into a tight bear hug like he did every time he didn’t know how to help the boy.

Jamie’s careful, put-together posture vanished the instant Roy touched him. He reacted quickly, letting himself crumble forward into Roy’s arms with the violent release of someone barely holding it together. His hands balled into fists, and he buried his face in Roy’s shirt like a child hiding in their mother’s skirts. Roy couldn’t see his expression, buried as his face was in his shoulder, but he felt his breaths, shaky and uneven and trembling.

Roy squeezed him harder, bringing his hand up to card his fingers through Jamie’s hair.

.

It wasn’t until the phone was already ringing that Roy thought through the logistics of his plan. Whether he should call Ted or not wasn’t even a question-- he had to get an explanation for this, right now-- but the time difference wasn’t something Roy had considered. It was probably around three in the morning in Kansas right now. Ted might not even pick up the phone at all-- and if he did, he’d be in bed, eyes blinking open and hair askew. The mental image of Ted being woken up by his call almost made Roy feel guilty for a second, but he was too fucking pissed off to feel bad for very long.

Eventually, Ted did pick up the phone, a croaked “Roy?” sounding tinny through Roy’s phone.

“What the fuck did you do?” Roy demanded immediately. “What did you say to him?”

“What’d I-- what?” Ted sounded bleary and unfocused, his voice still hoarse. “W’happened?”

“Jamie. You fucking said something to him.”

“I-- I did?”

Roy’s teeth ground together with an unpleasant squeak. “About his father.”

The line was silent for a moment.

“Oh.”

“You said something to him, about-- forgiveness?! Forgiveness, Ted?” Roy shook his head in disbelief, though he knew Ted couldn’t see it over the phone. “You fucking told him to forgive his father.”

“Yeah, well, I thought it might--”

“Fuck whatever you thought it might do,” Roy growled. “He’s fucking bleeding right now, because of you.”

“He-- what?!” Now Ted sounded more awake. “Wait, Jamie? What happened? Is he okay?”

“No thanks to you.” Roy squeezed the wooden railing of his porch, glaring into the night sky above. “Because of your little fucking pep talk, he ended up letting his father start fucking living with him, and now I’ve had to just spend the past hour talking him down from a fucking panic attack and cleaning the fucking blood off his fucking face and-- fuck, Ted! Did you even think at all about what you were fucking saying?” Roy shook his head again, trying his best to keep his volume under control-- Jamie was just on the other side of a glass door, after all. “Why would you fucking say that to him?”

“I…” There was an indistinct shuffling from the other side of the phone, like Ted was scrambling to get out of bed. “I didn’t tell him to do any of that, I just said--”

“You said to forgive him.”

“No-- well, I--”

“Yes. Jamie said that’s the word you used.”

“But that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you fucking meant, Lasso. Whatever you meant to say, what he got from it was that he has to bend over fucking backwards to accommodate his father, give him a second chance-- no, not a second chance, a fucking thousand-and-second chance-- or else Ted is going to be disappointed in him.”

There was another moment of quiet, where Ted let out a long, controlled breath. Part of Roy’s brain supplemented a memory of Ted before a game, closing his eyes and performing breathing exercises into cupped palms, but the rest of Roy rejected it outright. He was too fucking blazing mad to be feeling any sort of understanding for Ted at the moment.

“I do think forgiveness is a-- a virtue we should all strive towards,” Ted said finally, calmly, and Roy barked out a laugh.

“You think that fucking matters right now? Your fucking Lasso philosophy? He’s bleeding, Ted.”

“Well, I didn’t know that was how this would end up!” Ted’s voice shot back, suddenly defensive in a way Roy had never heard him before. “Everyone can change, Roy, you know I believe that--”

“Jesus, Ted, you weren’t thinking for a fucking second about the consequences of what you said to him, were you? You saw fucking Wembley! Jamie is terrified of that man! He’s sent him to the fucking hospital before! Sure, maybe he can fucking change, I don’t fucking know.” Roy ran his hands through his hair. “But you really think it’s worth the risk of letting Jamie get hurt again, on the off-chance that this is the time things are different? When that man sends him into hysterics every time he’s around? When Jamie’s still got scars from him? I mean, this is the man that had him fucking raped at fourteen, Jesus, Ted--”

“He-- what?!” Ted squawked over the line, but Roy was too fired up to stop.

“You think it’s worth the fucking risk just to-- just ‘cause he could change this time? What if he fucking doesn’t? Or doesn’t yet? Even if he does change, it’s not gonna be instantaneous. You willing to just let him keep hurting Jamie for another-- year, two years, ten years, until he’s finally changed? That’s worth it? Just ‘cause forgiveness is a fucking virtue?”

Roy stopped to breathe, his cheeks hot with anger as he heaved in one breath after another.

When Ted spoke again, he sounded terrified. “I didn’t-- now, Roy, a lot of that stuff I didn’t even know about--”

“Bullshit,” Roy spat. “Bullshit, bullshit. You were there at Wembley. You saw enough. You saw.” Roy dug his fingernails into the wooden railing. The wood was soft from the rain last night. “And even if you’re right-- even if that man could change, did change-- even if he never hurt Jamie again, you still think-- you know what he said to me? He said, ‘I thought it’s what I had to do to be a good person.’ That’s what he said. Because of what you fucking told him, he thought he’d be a bad person if he just deleted his dad’s fucking number and went the fuck on with his life like I told him to do.”

“That’s not what I said to him. I was just giving advice, I didn’t say that not following it would make him a bad person--”

“Jesus, Ted, that doesn’t fucking matter! The boys look up to you, they--” Roy growled, slamming his fist down on the railing. “How many times have you given me this exact same fucking talk? ‘Careful what you say to them, Roy, you know how they look up to you. You say jump, they say how high.’ Yeah? Didn’t you fucking say that to me?”

“Roy--”

“You tell them that something is the right thing to do, of course they’re gonna assume it’s the fucking-- universal truth of it. Of course they’re gonna wanna do what you say, ‘cause Ted’s the best person, so if he says this is what’s right then it must be what I have to do to be good too, yeah? Of course they’re gonna fucking listen to you. Christ, Ted. Surely you know the effect you have on people.”

Ted was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice wasn’t shrill or defensive-- it was just soft. “Well, I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah, whatever,” Roy huffed. He turned to peer through the glass door back into the house, but Jamie wasn’t in his line of sight. He should probably get back in there-- Jamie had been alone for a while now. But he turned back toward the backyard, back toward the night sky, to address Ted one last time. “I’m fucking pissed at you, Ted. I’m pissed that you fucked this up so massively and then just fucking left. I’m pissed that it’s my job now to pick up the pieces of the thing you broke. Why do I have to be the one to clean up your fucking mess?”

Ted said nothing.

“Whatever. I have to go take care of my fucking player.”

“Hold on, now. Roy--”

Roy hung up.

After tucking his phone back into his pocket with shaking hands, Roy gripped the railing tight, bending forward to shut his eyes and breathe down into the floor. He couldn’t go back in there like this, still flushed red and shaking with rage, not when Jamie was still so fragile. He gave himself a minute to breathe, counting to ten and taking deep breaths and thinking of Phoebe and all the things Fieldstone had told him to do when he got too angry. And he tried not to feel any kind of way about the fact that his phone in his pocket hadn’t buzzed again once.

Eventually, he was calm enough to go back inside.

[supercorpkid]

The price of magic.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 2210.

Turns out the price of magic was higher than you had anticipated. You’ve been away for more than a year, but for your family it was nothing but a week. Sure they’ve missed you and they were out there looking for you with no clue of where you could have gone. But for you?

A year in Storybrooke was experiencing your life as you’ve always imagined. Being yourself in its totality. No Luthor name hanging over your head, no hiding yourself behind glasses or a red and blue superhero suit. It was being both Kryptonian and human at the same time, with no fear of judgment or dislike.

Storybrooke was like going on a super long vacation; so long it made you forget all of your problems. But that doesn’t mean that your problems went away. They came back as soon as you stepped foot in National City.

The price of magic was feeling guilty for being happier somewhere else. It was walking into your bedroom and feeling at home but also somehow not at all. It was walking around the craziness of National City and feeling suffocated like you’re in a crowded room full of empty faces. It was missing the words ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ when people were referring to you. It was having a crazy number of options of take-out food but wanting nothing except the food in Granny’s diner.

And you weren’t the only one to pay the price. You can feel how high it was for Kara and Lena too.

“Mom?” You sit up on the bed, looking at Lena standing in your bedroom watching you sleep. “What are you doing creeping over my bed at-” You look at your alarm clock. “3 in the morning?”

“I had to be sure you were still here.” Lena says, sounding small and scared.

“Mom, I’m not going to disappear from my bedroom in the middle of the night.” You say, trying to reassure her, but it backfires you.

“You can’t blame me for thinking that, because you did.” She holds your arm, and you hear the cry in her cracked voice.

“Would you feel better if you stayed here with me?” You make space for her. Lena hum in agreement, lying next to you. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m even more.” She kisses the back of your hand. “A whole year without us. You were probably so scared we weren’t looking for you.”

“I knew you were.”

“You got so tall, and we weren’t even there to see it!” Lena complains and you give her a sad little smile, even though she can’t see your face at all in the darkness of your bedroom.

“Well, I chose a weird age to have a growth spurt .” You joke, but you don’t get a laugh in return. You sort of always knew when you would get taller. It was the same with Kara. You were always very anxious to turn 17, because that was the age she actually grew more. But the weird thing is that you’re not really 17 now. Like Kara is not really 70.

“Come here.” Lena hugs you and you settle back. You’re almost drifting off to sleep when she whispers. “Don’t ever leave again.”

You can’t promise that you won’t. Stranger things have happened in your life, you don’t really feel like you have control over that anymore. And weird as it may seem, you also don’t want to have control over that. Because if you had, if you could have chosen, you probably wouldn’t have met some of the people that you love so much now.

“Hey!” You walk in the kitchen, to both Kara and Lena still having breakfast despite how late already is. “What are you two doing?”

“Having breakfast.” Kara explains, like it isn’t obvious.

You look at the clock. “It’s nine.” You raise an eyebrow at them. “And it’s Monday.”

“Yes.” Lena agrees.

“On Mondays you go to work, and Kara does her usual Kara��� stuff.”

“You were gone for a week. Even if L Corp burned down in flames I wouldn’t leave your side today.” Lena answers you, and you smile softly. You look at Kara next.

“Oh, well, if L Corp was burning up in flames I probably would have to go to put out the fire.” She says but adds in a hurry. “But I would be here five seconds later!”

“Ok.” You chuckle. “I thought I would go see Jamie and Maya on their lunch break, but if you two want me to stay-”

“No! Baby, no. Go see your cousin and your girlfriend. They were missing you too.” Lena hands you your phone. “There’s a lot of texts from them.”

“Oh, a phone! God I haven’t had one in a while.” You smile scrolling through your messages, ignoring your moms questioning looks.

“So, maybe you could tell us how was your life there.” Kara asks, but you’re too distracted with your phone to notice. You haven’t used one in a while, not because there weren’t phones in Storybrooke, but because you didn’t need them. It was a super small city, you could find anyone easily, and because Emma and Charming were sheriffs, you all used radio transmitters to talk. “Hey? Little one, helloooo.”

“Sorry momma.” You put your phone down. “What did you say?”

“We want to know about your life there. I mean, for us it wasn’t that long, but for you it was a whole year. You probably did lots of things.” Kara says and you agree with your head.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrug. “I used to help mom Emma out with the saving, and oh, mom Regina helped me with my panic attacks. And I’m a lot better at controlling them! Henry and I used to watch this awesome TV show that I probably won’t ever know how it ends now. And grandma taught me archery.”

“Oh, that sounds-” Lena thinks about it for a second. “Fun.”

“Yeah. It was so great. And every night all of us would get together at Granny’s diner and talk about our days, and sometimes I would go hang out with Belle in the library, so I read all the books there. And if I had stayed a little bit longer and turned 18 there, then grandpa would’ve taught me how to use a gun.”

“A little bit? It would’ve been a whole other year!”

“For me, I guess.” You shrug again. “Just another week for you. And I would’ve been cursed anyway, so it wouldn’t feel so bad.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Kara stops you, looking confused. “You wanted to stay?”

“No!” You think about it for a second. “Not stay. No. Just-you know-If I had perhaps stayed longer then yeah, it would’ve been fun to learn that.”

“You can learn how to use a gun here!” Kara says, and Lena furrows her brows.

“No, she can’t.” She looks at you. “No, you can’t. Maybe when you’re older.”

“Right. Moms wouldn’t let me touch a gun either.”

“We are your moms.” It’s out of Kara’s mouth like she hadn’t given much thought to it. But you know she has, because she looks stung. You’ve noticed how she flinched every time you referred to Regina and Emma as moms, but it’s out of your mouth before you can stop yourself to think about it. For a year that’s what you’ve been saying every day. It’s hard to call them just anything else. Almost disrespectful even. But you don’t want to make Kara and Lena upset, so you have to watch out for that.

You try to say something after that. But it’s like your mind keeps erasing itself. ‘Ok, fine, sorry, sure you are momma!’ are all things that almost make it out of your mouth. Instead, you settle for, “Can I have some M&M pancakes?”

“Sure, babygirl.” Lena gets up and gets behind the counter. You go back to your phone, too embarrassed to look at Kara again. She doesn’t say anything about it either.

You talk about other things. They tell you how crazy it was to find you, and what they did all week while you were gone. Apparently it was mostly crying and blaming themselves for your disappearance.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“To school. To see Jamie and Maya.”

“Where are your glasses?” Kara asks and you touch your face to realize that you haven’t been wearing them at all.

“Ugh.” You grunt and mumble right after. “I hate those stupid glasses. Can’t believe I have to wear them again.”

You run to your bedroom and find an old pair tossed around. Stupid disguise. Stupid glasses. Stupid secret identity.

“Ok. Can I go now?” You ask when you make it back to the living room.

Lena lets out a forced smile out of her lips, and Kara gives you the most awkward thumbs up in history. Well, there’s a lot to unpack there. So maybe leave it for later.

“Hey!”

“No way in hell!” It’s Jamie’s first response when she sees you in front of your old school. “You grew taller in a week?”

“Something like that.” You smile finally looking down on her. Rao, it feels so good to finally be taller than Jamie. You’ve been hearing about it for years! “Hey, babe.”

“Holy fuck, look at you!” Maya says with the biggest smile on her face. “I don’t see you for a week and you show up here looking like a superhero!”

“Well…” You give her a little side flirty smile. “Is that a good thing?”

“You look great, babe.” Maya’s arms go around your neck and she tiptoes to kiss your mouth. You hold her by the waist, making it easier for her to kiss you.

“God, I’ve missed kissing you.” You let out after you part your lips.

“It’s been a week, stop being so melodramatic.” Jamie rolls her eyes, and you smile, letting go of Maya to hug her too.

“I’ve missed you too, dipshit.”

“Oh.” Jamie lets out a surprised sound. “I guess you’re not so dramatic then.”

You want to tell them, right there, about how it was not just a week. About your different life in the past year. But the girls from your school who used to bully you pass right next to you, and your heart beats faster anticipating the teasing.

But they don’t say a thing. In fact, what they say after they pass you, and you catch using your super hearing, is that you must be a new student. You smile, relieved. Getting taller and cutting your hair. You wish you had known it would make your life a lot easier.

“Ice-cream?” You smile at them and get positive responses at that. Two hours with them and it feels like you’ve never left. Feels good to be with them. It makes you remember that even though your life in National City is not always easy, it’s still pretty great. And that you shouldn’t take that for granted.

You and Jamie walk Maya home, and you’re not even scared of her parents' reaction anymore. It’s not like they’ll recognize you, anyway. And later, you fly Jamie back to her house. You say a quick hello to Alex and Kelly, then fly back home.

“Hey.” You throw yourself on the couch between your moms, with a smile on your face. You look at the box of donuts in front of them, just sitting there waiting for you to arrive and your smile grows wider. “Sorry I was gone for a while. But can I make it up to you both with some hugs and forehead kisses?”

“Oh! Me first!” Kara asks and you smile, throwing your arms around her, and resting your chin on her shoulders.

“You’re my mommy. No one will ever take that away from you.” You whisper in her ear, and feel Kara’s body fully relax in your embrace, while she lets out a relieved sigh.

“I love you more than words can explain it, kid.” You smile and let her go a little, just to look into her eyes.

“I know the words.” You rest your forehead against hers and smile. “You’re my heart.”

“You’re my heart, little one.”

“Can I get a sweet moment like this too?” Lena asks and you chuckle, pulling her close for a tight hug.

“You also don’t have to worry about anyone taking your place.” You say softly in her ear. “You carried me inside of you for nine months, and I’ll carry you inside of me for the rest of my life.”

“Oh God.” Lena says, choking up and wetting the back of your t-shirt with her tears. “I swear this is the loveliest thing someone has ever told me.”

“It’s true.” You smile and kiss her forehead right after. “I love you mom.”

“Oh, I love you, babygirl.”

“And we’re stronger together.” You say, and feel their arms go around you at the same time, in a family hug.

Sure you will miss being called ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’, but nothing beats being called ‘little one’ and ‘babygirl’. And nothing ever will. National City may not make you feel as good as Storybrooke did, but the people here surely make up for that.

[imagine-that-100]

Why No Answer?

Description: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’re woken up in the middle of the night to find Alex drunk and high on your doorstep. Looking after him proves to be a tiring and revealing ordeal. 

Word Count: 5.1k 

A/N: This was requested by an Anon. I really hope you enjoy it, I basically turned it into an aftermath of the Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? music video. If anyone hasn’t seen it, if so why not I’d recommend watching that first. This was so so so much fun to write. Likes and Reblogs are appreciated but honestly I’d love to know what you all think of this one. Really hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~ January 1st 2013 ~*~*~*~

“Alex?” You question, “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you” Alex smiles at you walking into your house confidently, but his eyes were heavy.

It was New Years Eve, well now it was early New Years Day, and you’d opted for a night with your friends instead of a night with the boys. You knew they were going out in Hoxton but you and your friends were staying near Finsbury.

You lived not too far from the park and you’d got home around 2am as the shots that you’d been doing earlier had got to you. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed, so that’s what you ended up doing.

But after waking up hearing constant knocking on your door, you saw 17 missed messages from Alex flash up on your phone. You saw the last saying that he was outside so the nerves you were feeling from who was at your door immediately dissipated.

Along with those messages, you saw one from your neighbour across the road saying that she thought a guy ‘around your age’ was asking for you. You were going to bully him for that tomorrow.

You also saw that you had an abundance of missed calls too so you made a hunch and sent him a text to let him know you were awake.

Why’d you only call me when you're high?????

After he made it into your house you quickly shut the door behind him and shook your head at the wasted man stumbling in your hall. “Alex it’s almost five”

He turns to you then and his heavy brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones. He grabs your hand and brings you towards him. He tells you, “Yeah but it’s New Years and I wanted to wish you happy new year”

“I was asleep Al” You say when his hand comes up to cup your cheek.

Alex grins at you then and you see his eyes run down your body. You hold your breath as he does but when his eyes meet yours again he makes your cheeks go hot when he says, “You look really pretty in your pyjamas”

You shake your head at the pretty boy standing in your hall with the perfectly styled hair, the chiseled jawline and the leather jacket sitting on his body making him even more attractive than he already was.

“Aren't you happy to see me, babe?” Alex says with a bit of a confused look on his gorgeous face.

“Alex” You chuckle finding the pet name amusing. You also stop his thumb from stroking your cheek.

Instead you take his hand and pull him into your kitchen.

As he stumbles behind you he says, “I’ve been calling you”

“Why?” You say, letting go of his hand so you can get him a glass of water.

“What do you mean ’why’?” You hear him ask as you fill a pint glass with water for him. “Your my friend, I wanted to talk to you and wish you a Happy New Year”

You turn to him and hand him the water and cheerily say, “Happy New Year Al. Drink up”

He does as you said and you’re actually grateful when he downs half of it.

“Why do I have a dozen missed calls from you?” You ask curiously.

“To keep me entertained as I walked” Alex shrugs before finishing off the rest of the drink.

Your eyes go wide, “You walked here? From Hoxton?”

He nods, “Yeah, from Howl at the Moon.”

“That’s over an hour's walk Alex” You scorn him, shaking your head.

Alex’s finishes the water and shrugs again when he places the glass into the sink beside you, “Well I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year”

“Al, I replied to your text one minute past twelve” You remind him with raised eyebrows.

“Well I maybe I just wanted to call to you”

You repeat your text message from earlier, “Why’d you only call me when you're high?”

Alex frowns at you then, “I call you all the time?” not understanding where you were coming from.

“I mean like pestering me when you're high.” You grin.

If you were honest, you didn’t actually mind him calling you on the nights he was getting wasted. You found it quite flattering he chose you out of everyone in his phone book.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t tease him for it.

“I don’t wanna pester you Angel.” Alex pouts tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

The pet name makes your stomach flip, even though you’re aware he’s just saying it because he’s drunk. “Alex.” You grin and shake your head again.

He grins back at you, but then his brown eyes dart to the shelves above your head. His eyes brighten seeing the vodka, “Let me get you a drink.”

“Alex no.” Your eyes widen and you push against his chest when he reaches for the spirit so he can’t get it. “We aren’t drinking at five in the morning”

“But I wanna chat with you” He pouts again but this time with a slight frown.

“You can chat with me anyway” You say pushing him a little more so he moves towards the kitchen door.

He’s stubborn though because he’s drunk.

“Wanna drunk chat with you” He whines at you, obviously ruining his plans.

“Alex, you're drunk and high.” You remind him. “That's a recipe for bad decisions.”

“I could never make a bad decision around you, love.” Alex shakes his head, “Never.”

Your cheeks heat up at the 3rd pet name of the evening and you once again find his name falling from your lips, “Alex.”

He grins at you as you move him to your kitchen door, but his face falls all of a sudden. He looks at you with worried eyes and he seriously asks, “Have you ever had sex with a bouncer outside a club?”

That certainly paused your actions.

“What?” You ask in shock. “Alex no, why would you think that?” You shake your head.

Relief passes through him then and he tries to shrug it off, “I don’t know, I’m just curious.”

“You think I have sex with random men at clubs?” You ask him with your eyebrows raised a little.

It was such a random but specific question. It confused you a lot.

“I mean, I didn’t think so” Alex tells you honestly whilst shaking his head, moving into the hall again after you turned the kitchen light off.

“Alex what the fuck have you taken?”

He chuckles a bit, running his hand through his hair, “Coke and lots of shots”

“Lord.” You shake your head.

You weren’t opposed to him doing all that as you’d had your fun with drugs once upon a time with your brother and you’d had your fair share of shots earlier tonight. You just didn’t think that he was in any condition to be walking the streets of London at 3 in the morning.

“Come on” You pull him by the sleeve of his leather jacket to the bottom of the stairs. You nod up the stairs and instruct him to, “Go up.”  

He does as he’s told but half way up the stairs he pauses and turns back to look down at you, “Why am I in front of you?”

“Because I don’t want you to fall down the stairs.” You tell him honestly, holding the bannister just in case he started to fall back now he was looking down at you from the step above.

Alex, however, seems to find something amusing because a smirk comes to his plump lips. “You just wanna look at my arse”

You withhold your eye roll and just grin up at him. “You got me” You playfully pat his arse twice to encourage him to continue up the stairs, “Now go.”

Alex chuckles the rest of the way up the stairs and once you get to your landing, you rest your arm on his lower back to encourage him to walk towards your bedroom.

Before you get there through, Alex tells you, “I love you”

You smile and says, “Love you too Al”

You’ve got him in your room now and you make him sit down on the side of your bed whilst you attempt to find your joggers so he could sleep comfortably.

As you start looking Alex shakes his head saying, “No, I mean I really love you.”

You look back around to him when he continues with, “Like in the way Jamie loves Katie”

Your heart stops. You knew how much that couple loved each other so the fact he compared his love for you to them really shocked you.

“Take your jacket off Alex” You tell him ignoring what he said because it was clear he didn’t know what he was saying.

He does as he was instructed but with a frown because you didn’t register what he said. So he tells you again, ”I love you Y/N.”

“No you don’t.” You say, taking his jacket from him.

“I do. I really really love you.” Alex tells you and his brown eyes are looking into your Y/E/C ones sincerely.

You brush it off though telling him, “You don’t know what you're saying” as you hang up his coat.

“I really do. I know I worship the ground you walk on and you’re easily the best thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Alex says as he watches you once again routing through your wardrobe for whatever it was you were searching for.

You turn toward him with a pair of dark grey joggers in hand and he can’t help but smile, “Look at you, all stunning right now.”

You shake your head, “Alex I’m wearing Harry Potter pyjamas.”

“Yeah and you look sexy as fuck.” Alex says after running his tongue over his bottom lip.

You shake your head, not believing his drunken words at all. “Alex”

“Please tell me you like me.” He almost panic pleads with you and it makes you chuckle a little.

“Of course I like you Alex.” You smile at him to ease his nerves, “I wouldn’t be letting you sleep in my house if I didn’t like you.”

His face falls like something else dawns on him. He can’t stop himself from asking, “You’ve never shagged the guy from the kebab shop, right?”

Your eyes go wide again at the random question, “Alex, where is this coming from?”

You’re honestly baffled by the suggestion alone.

Alex shakes his head, “I just-“ but then something catches his eye, “Oh, is that whisky?”

He attempts to stand up then to grab the miniature whisky set you got for Christmas. But you put a hand on his chest, “Alex no.”

“Sit down.” You instruct him in a stern voice.

He frowns at you a little but it’s like a puppy looking angry. He does as asked but he takes it further and just flops himself back, lying himself across your bed.

Well, at least if he was lying down he couldn’t do anything else stupid.

He’s silent for a minute until you throw your joggers over his head. After you both chuckle a little you say, “Alex, unbutton your jeans so I don’t have to.”

You turn towards your shelves and start silently moving your alcohol into hidden places so when you went downstairs, he didn’t start drinking them.

“Kinda want you to.” You hear him say once he moves your joggers off his face.

Your eyes go wide and you embarrassedly say, “Alex stop.”

“Fine, fine.” He sighs and you can then hear his belt unbuckling and him undoing the zip.

You don’t have to look at him to know he’s being lazy and is taking his jeans off whilst still lying on your bed.

As he continues his struggle, he nonchalantly asks you, “Have you ever sucked someone off in a taxi?”

You’re absolutely mortified by the question. Where the fuck were all these questions coming from?

“Alex, you're taking your jeans off in my bedroom.” You say, keeping your eyes on the draw you were moving your gifted alcohol into. “Refrain from blowjob talk.”

You can hear his grin when he asks, “Have you though?”

“No Alex.” You assure him, and you hear him move towards you, “You better have put them joggers on.”

Just after you close the draw you were hiding the alcohol into, you hear him chuckling behind you.

“What you laughing at?” You ask after you’ve turned around to see him standing close. Thankfully the joggers were on.

He gently moves your hair to the side and cups your cheek again. His thumb caresses your skin as he softly says, “Thank you for looking after me.”

You’re smiling up at him and you’re about to tell him that it was fine, but you don’t get a chance. Instead Alex kisses you and you freeze in shock.

His lips are gentle against your own and you find yourself melting into it. Your lips move on their own accord and you relax into the gesture.

His lips were soft but the kiss seemed to contain something a little bit more. Alex’s other hand found your hip and encouraged you to step a bit closer which you did.

Your hand came to rest on his chest over the black material of his top, but once a few kisses go by and Alex more confidently runs his tongue across your bottom lip, your hand slips up to the back of his neck. Alex then more confidently deepens the kiss and your now hazy mind can’t seem to stop it.

He tasted of vodka which surprised you because you knew his chosen drink was whisky. But you didn’t pay close attention to that because there was so much to concentrate on.

His hand that cupped your cheek had slipped around the back of your neck to keep you in the kiss and your senses filled with his aftershave mixed with the scent of cigarette smoke. But you indulged in the way he was holding you against him tightly.

You actually really liked the kiss and you hadn’t liked anyone’s kisses in a long time.

Alex pulled away from the kiss after a minute and he rested his forehead against your own. You both tried to calm your breathing as you stayed close but after a few seconds you opened your eyes to see him already looking at you.

You gazed into each other’s eyes for a minute then, neither of you moved a muscle. Your chests were still rising and falling, trying to regain the oxygen you were just denied.

“That was nice.” Alex whispers, then hesitantly adds, “Right?”

You smile at the vulnerability of his question. But you look into those gorgeous brown eyes and confirm, “Yeah, that was nice.”

Alex smiles at that and he leans down and kisses you once more. But you don’t let it get to what it just was. After one kiss you pull away and slip your hand down to pat his chest, softly telling him, “It’s time for bed.”

Alex smiles and actually does head to bed. You press your now sensitive lips together to contain your smile and turn back to your wardrobe to grab a blanket. Once it’s in your hand and you turn to see him now in your bed, you head to the door and turn out the light.

“Night Alex” You call and you start to head out the door.

But he calls, “Where you going?”

“To sleep on the settee” You say when you turn back towards him.

“No Y/N, please don’t leave me. I don’t want you to leave me.” Alex pleads.

“Alex, you’re off your head.” You state, “You don’t know what you want.”

“I want you to stay. I know that much.” He tells you and you can hear that he’s serious.

You shake your head, “Alex no, you need to go sleep”

But he has none of it, “You know I’ll follow you downstairs and share the settee with you so you might as well just stay where we’ll be comfier.”

“But Alex yo-”

“Please Y/N.”

You sigh and give in then, knowing he wouldn’t give up until you got in bed next to him. So you do, you get yourself in bed beside him and you get comfy.

That doesn’t last long though because Alex basically shuffles himself close to you until you’re coaxed into cuddling into him. You don’t see any harm in his arm going round your back or your head resting on his shoulder because you’d fallen asleep once or twice before after resting your head on his shoulder.

After a few minutes silence, you hear him whisper, “I really love you, you know?”

“Tell me that when you're sober.” You tell him.

After a second to process what you just said, Alex asks, “Will you believe me then?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

~*~*~*~

When you stir awake the next morning, you’re sure it must have been pretty late in the morning, maybe earlier afternoon, because the light shining through the sides of your black out curtains was very bright. You were still curled up into Alex’s side when you looked down at your bodies, but one of your legs was resting over Alex’s and your arm was now lay over his chest.

You pick your head up to glance over Alex to look at the time on your alarm clock and see that it reads 11:13. You then decided that 6 hours is enough sleep for the both of you or you’d never get out of bed.

So you disturb Alex’s slumber by patting his chest a few times before poking him. After a minute he stirs and when you feel him hold you a bit tighter to him and rub your back you decide to speak.

You say into his chest, “Happy New Year, my lovely”

“Heyyy” His deep voice calls out in surprise, as if he’s shocked it’s you he’s hearing. He recovers well when he says, “Happy New Year.”

You pick your head up to look at him and you have to admit to yourself that his messy unstyled bed hair is very pleasing on the eye. You see him smile back at you and you ask, “You don’t remember coming here, do you?”

He shakes his head, closing his eyes again and he rubs them with his other free hand. After a second he hesitantly asks, “Did I…? Did we...?”

“You wish” You softly giggle as you shake your head. “You don’t remember anything, do you?”

“Not really, no” He says with a small smile on his lips.  

“You knocked on my seventy-six year old neighbour’s door before you found mine which is comical because you’ve been here hundreds of times.” You inform him as you sit up, your smile getting bigger and bigger, “Then you came in off your head, begging me to have a drink with you, so I made you go to bed.”

Alex slowly sits himself up too, and when he notices his change in attire he asks, “Did you get me changed?”

“I made you get yourself changed” You inform him and Alex sighs.

“Jesus.” Alex says rubbing his eyes again before running a hand through his messy hair, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you were quite funny.” You grin, getting yourself out of bed, “Especially when you got all pouty asking me to stay.”

You were going to have some fun teasing him today.

Alex chuckles a little before looking at you, saying, “Well I’m glad you did.”  

“I’m a wonderful friend…” You smile, “What can I say?”

He grins at you then and you think he is the cutest person in the world that you’ve ever seen first thing in the morning. How in the hell did this beautiful man in front of you drunkenly claim he had feelings for you.

“Right...” You say, “I’m going to quickly use the bathroom and then you’re going to get yourself up and in the shower, and after I’ve made breakfast I’ll tell you what else you said.”

“Oh god.”

An hour later, you’d both done just that. You were up and dressed and bacon butties had been made, Alex joined you downstairs dressed back in his jeans now and his wet hair had been styled with a comb you’d left on your bed for him.

Only the water drying was styling his hair, but it still looked great. It had definitely been a shock when he initially cut it like that last year, well, two years ago now. But the cut suited him anyway.

“How you feeling?” You ask him, thinking he was looking a lot better now sat in the kitchen compared to when he was in here last night.

You were both sitting at the table in your kitchen and you’d just got you both another small glass of fresh orange. He definitely looked a lot more awake now if nothing else.

“Not the best but better now I’ve had food though...” Alex tells you honestly, “So thank you.”

“Do you remember anything else now you're not an extra from the walking dead?” You ask with a playful grin, ready to give him a little bit of shit before things got serious.

Alex elects to ignore your zombie comment and he says, “A few things.” and then takes a long sip of his orange juice.  

You ask with a grin, “Do you remember asking me if I’d shagged a bouncer or the guy from the kebab shop?”

He chokes on his drink then which makes you giggle. He coughs a little before saying, “I was hoping I dreamt that.”

“The answer was no by the way.” You remind him.

Alex nods then and you almost choke on your drink when he asks,  “What about riding on the back of a motorbike naked?”

You shake your head at him, your eyes going wide. “Your mind is honestly something else.”

Alex sheepishly says, “‘M sorry”

“No I haven’t.” You tell him. “Because that is irresponsible and dangerous and you know I tell you off when you just go out on yours in your jeans.”

Alex raises his eyebrows in an unimpressed way as he hums, “Mmm... You don’t let me forget it.”

You grin taking the conversation back again, “I’m not gunna let you forget last night.”

Alex closes his eyes and sighs, “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” You correct with a grin. When you get up with your now empty glass with the intent to wash it, you ask, “Do you remember kissing me?”

“That was real?” You hear him ask in shock and it makes you smile.

You nod looking back around at the now wide eyed man, “It was.”

“I’m sorry.” He says as you start washing up, “Bet that was awful.”

“You’d be surprised…” You giggle washing the glass and two plates in the sink as you tell him, “I’ve kissed a lot of drunk people and a lot of them were worse than you.”

Alex chuckles but after a few seconds asks, “Is that a compliment?”

“Yeah.” You laugh, and then tell him, “Thanks for not being a shit drunk kisser.”

He slowly says, “You’re welcome... I think.”

You soon enough finish washing the dishes and you feel that now is the time to bring up the heavier stuff. A kiss was noteworthy sure, but declaring your love for someone was massive.

Especially after how things ended with Arielle the 8 months or so that happened. He’d been certain he was never going to fall in love again, so god only knew how he’d apparently fell for you without you noticing.

“There’s one more thing...” You say, grabbing the pot towel to dry your hands, leaving the stuff on the draining board to dry.

You look back around to the man in black who’s sat at your table, but you notice that he’s hesitant to look at you, “But from the look on your face, I think you know what you said.”

“Yeah…” He trails off, and when his eyes meet yours he says, “I’m sorry.”

You ask, despite the look on his face clearly giving the answer away. “Did you mean it?”

“Would it mean anything if I did?” Alex asks after he finds your Y/E/C eyes once again.

You nod, “Of course it would... Things would change.”

Alex sighs a little, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He can’t bring himself to look into your eyes when he asks, “Like what?”

“Well it would depend what you did if it was true…” You say and you see him looking very nervous and uncomfortable so you throw him a rope to latch onto. “If you asked me out then things would change.”

His eyes widen at that suggestion and he nods processing it. He then asks, “How would they change?”

“Well that would depend on my answer, wouldn’t it?” You say, trying to keep your emotions off your face.

If he was going to ask you out he needed to not be scared to. You weren’t going to serve it on a platter to him, not after he had drunkenly told you he loved you.

“So what would your answer be?” Alex asks when he stands up after drinking the rest of his drink.  

“You’re not getting that.” You tell him as he walks towards you to put the glass in the sink, just next to where you were leaning. “You gotta ask me.”

After the glass is discarded, neither of you make any attempt to clean it.  “I don’t want things to change Y/N/N.”

“Why?” You question, “The only things that would change is you’d see me more and could kiss me whenever you wanted instead of doing it completely off your face.”

His eyes go wide and his head whips round towards you, “You’d say yes?”

You grin and laugh, “Just ask me out Alex.”

So he does, in a very slow, very nervous way, “Do you… Maybe... Wanna go out sometime? With me?”

“I think I’d like that” You grin at him.

He just needs the confirmation, “Yeah?”

“Yes Alex” You chuckle and nod, going to hug him because a few seconds ago he looked petrified.

After he hugs you back and your arms loosen around each other, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh, you’re asking this time?” You tease, not being able to get the smile off your face.

His eyes roll, not wanting to be embarrassed by his drunk actions. So he asks looking down at you, “Can I or not?”

“Don’t be embarrassed…” You tell him, bringing your arms you arms around his neck, “It was a good kiss”

A little smirk makes its way onto his face then, almost matching your grin. His arms go around your waist and he holds you to him which you're happy about.

“So yeah, go on then.” You dare him, “Kiss me Turner”

So he did, his lips met yours again and he took your breath away all over again. His soft lips moved against your own and you were glad it wasn’t just left over alcohol in your system last night that made it feel good.

You were definitely nervous but that didn’t stop you from wanting it to continue. You’d fancied him for a while but you’d never done anything about it, because you were honestly scared to and what the consequences of it might mean.

But all of those worries slipped away whilst his lips were attached to yours. The kisses were soft like they were last night but he got a little more encouraged when your fingers went up to the back of his head and laced your fingers through the longer strands there.

If he was nervous to deepen your kiss, he didn’t show it at all because he did it expertly and his hold on your waist tightened. Alex’s kisses were forcing your stomach to fill with butterflies and you truly didn’t want it to end.

Everything about this moment felt right. He wanted you and you wanted him.

You wanted him when he moved you back a little so you were trapped between him and the worktop. You wanted him when he broke the kiss for a second to pull on your bottom lip which caused a breathy moan to fall from your lips before you forced him into another kiss.

And you still wanted him when you moved yourself up to sit onto the worktop without breaking the kiss, so you could sit comfortably and kiss him. But as your luck would have it you knocked the draining board as you did and a second later you heard glass smashing.

The noise unfortunately shocked you enough to make you break apart and you both turned to see that your glass had fallen off the draining board and into the sink causing it to smash. You’d be lying if you said you were bothered by it because you truly weren’t.

You’d break a glass everyday if it meant he kept kissing you like that.

He was standing between your legs now, his hands resting on your thighs, and your arms were still around his neck and you both just laughed when you shrugged at the glass breaking. There were definitely more important things.

You think the little break in the kiss let it sink in for you both though. As your mind ran to everything that would be different now you could kiss him whenever you wanted, well almost whenever you wanted.

You didn’t think the fans would be too impressed if you kissed him when he was on stage.

“Can’t believe I’m finally kissing you.” Alex grins, pecking your lips once more.

You say, “I know… I’m very happy you are doing though.”

“I’m happy too.” Alex assures you, “Very happy.”

You laugh at that and he joins in too. “I’m gunna keep you away from everyone now, you know that, right? Want you all to myself.”

“Damn… Possessive already” You giggle, “What’s Matt gunna say?”

“I honestly couldn’t give a shit what your brother has to say right now” Alex shakes his head, chuckling a little before he leans in to kiss you again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Read Part 2: | Here |

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[laurenairay]

Found You - J. Oleksiak

Summary: You thought you’d finally found the perfect guy – were you right?

Word count: 12k

Warnings: super cute fluff, some angst

A/N: So the wonderful @whatishockey inspired me to write a full story of this Big Rig blurb I wrote in my Valentine’s Day list. Without her encouragement and sweet words this wouldn’t be in existence - so thank you! This one is for you 💖 The scenes in the blurb are referenced but not repeated in this fic, so do feel free to read the blurb too!

Also tagging: @danglesnipecelly @texanstarslove @itsbadgerbadgermushroom​ @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @princessphilly @denis-scorianov @broadstbroskis @thebookofmags​ @shelbsatans​ @antoineroussel​​

*

It was only meant to be one night. One night in a bar. One night of fun and dancing. One night of passion. A one night stand.

You’d been out on a girl’s night, cocktails in a local bar, when you’d spotted him across the room. Not just because of how tall and broad he was, head and shoulders above everyone else, but…because of his smile.

That big confident beautiful smile made your breath hitch in your throat, and the moment that he locked eyes on you and turned the full force of that smile in your direction, you knew you were done for. That smile stayed on his face as he walked over to you, slow smooth and confident, because he knew exactly what effect he was having.

What had surprised you was that it wasn’t just quick conversation and back to his. It wasn’t just a drink each and then leaving. He danced with you, had several drinks with you, talked with you for hours. It didn’t feel like a usual hook-up from a bar – it felt different. He made you feel special.

You didn’t know until the next morning that he didn’t usually ask a one night stand to stay over. You didn’t know until the next morning that he’d never made a hook-up breakfast before. You didn’t know until the next morning that he thought meeting you was special too.

That’s when everything changed. Instead of the one night you had meant it to be, Jamie had asked for your number, asked you out on a date the very next night. One date turned into two, into three, until it was a month in. A month of incredible sex and amazing dates and a wonderful guy. You knew it was happening so fast, but you were already falling for him. How could you not? You spent every spare moment thinking about him, about seeing him again, even if it was nothing official yet.

Never had anyone treated you like this before. So special, so important. Never had anyone put such a smile on your face, got your stomach filling with butterflies, made you feel so giddy. This guy was different – Jamie was someone worth pursuing something real with.

You could only hope he felt the same way.

*

Jamie couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he ended his Valentine’s Day phone call. Going on a roadtrip two days before Valentine’s Day had really thrown off his original plans. Jamie had initially thought of taking you out on a romantic candlelit dinner, showering you with gifts and taking his time bringing you pleasure over and over again back home, but thanks to hockey he wasn’t able to, as much as it frustrated him. Pavs had seen his frustration easily, had suggested surprising you with something to remind you that he was still thinking of you, even when he wasn’t there – and Jamie had taken him up on that with the giant bouquet delivered to your office as well as the follow-up phone call tonight.

He definitely hadn’t planned on defining his relationship with you over the phone, but the fact that you agreed to be his officially? Even if you wanted to hear it in person too? Mindblowing. Like there was any way he was going to change his mind about this – he hadn’t lied at all when he talked to you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, to the point where a lot of the guys on the team were teasing him, but he didn’t care.

This feeling, this hopeful wonderful feeling that you gave him whenever you smiled his way – it was everything. That someone like you would even give him the time of day when he could never guarantee being there by your side (ie. Valentine’s Day absence) made him feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Call it sappy, call it head over heels, call it whatever, he didn’t care. Being with you made all of it worth it.

He couldn’t wait to ask you in person, to take you out to dinner and call you his girlfriend. Just the thought of it put a stupid smile on his face.

And the stupid smile was still there when he left his room a little later to meet the team for dinner.

“What’s got you grinning like an idiot?”

Well that was fast. Jamie snapped out of his thoughts, rolling his eyes at Tyler’s words, Dickie, Bish and Pavs all behind him.

“Nothing,” Jamie shrugged, although he knew that the smile on his face hadn’t dimmed at all, and wasn’t exactly helping his case.

“Uh huh,” Bish snorted, making Jamie blush slightly.

“Anything to do with…hmm, the woman you’ve been seeing for a month now?” Pavs teased.

Damn it.

“Yeah, alright, you win. I was just on the phone with her,” Jamie admitted.

“You snuck in phone sex before dinner?” Dickie asked, surprised.

Jamie just punched him in the arm, rolling his eyes as the others laughed.

“No, I finally asked her to be my girl,” Jamie retorted.

Oh, wait, there was the smile again. Oh well.

“Officially?” Pavs asked, a big smile on his face too.

“Yeah, man, officially,” Jamie nodded, grinning.

Even saying those words felt amazing. Finally. Finally.

“About time,” Dickie snickered.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Jamie mused.

“You know his moon eyes are only going to get worse now though,” Tyler teased, “it’s bad enough with that stupid smile on his face,”

“Oh man, yeah, he was already enough of a big soft sap before,” Bish nodded, smirking slightly.

“I am right here you know,” Jamie said, rolling his eyes, although his smile still hadn’t lessened.

How could his smile change? This was the happiest he’d been in a long time.

“Well I think it’s great that you asked her,” Pavs mused, nudging Tyler with his shoulder.

Tyler nudged him back, sticking his tongue out.

“Thanks,” Jamie said warmly, “I know it’s only been a month but she’s special,”

“Booooo,”

Jamie laughed at the chorus around him, shaking his head. Okay so maybe he was a bit of a sap. But you were worth it, he knew that much. And he didn’t care what anyone else thought about it.

“What are we booing?”

Jamie looked over at the voice, smiling at the sight of his Captain.

“Big Rig caught feelings,” Dickie teased.

“Ugh, feelings,” Benn groaned, although Jamie could see the laughter in his eyes, “can’t have that,”

Jamie just rolled his eyes, laughing. “Can we talk about something other than my love life?”

“I vote yes!” Tyler said loudly, winking at Jamie, “where are you paying for dinner, Cap?”

Well at least that fuelled a discussion loud enough to get the attention off him. Now all Jamie needed to do was think of somewhere to take you out for dinner when he got home…

*

It was another week before Jamie arrived back from his roadtrip. The two of you still spoke on the phone every night, still messaged throughout the day, but knowing that he’d asked you to be his girlfriend? And that he’d agreed to ask you again in person, even just to sooth your own anxiety? Well that changed everything.

You were now Jamie Oleksiak’s girlfriend. Hah. Even just saying it to yourself put the silliest smile on your face. And you couldn’t wait to see him again.

Jamie had arranged for the two of you to meet at the restaurant, having made reservations, and then you’d agreed to go over to his after to stay the night. Apparently this was what he had intended to do for Valentine’s Day, to take you out like this – better late than never, right?

So all dressed up in your favourite little black dress and classy stilettos, you met Jamie outside a fancy-looking Italian restaurant. He was already waiting when your uber pulled up, and the smile he greeted you with made your heartbeat race. Wow, he really does look handsome all dressed up in a clean-cut suit.

“Hey, you look incredible,” he said in greeting.

He leant down to pressing his lips to yours before you could answer, kissing you slowly and sweetly in a way that made you clutch at the lapels of his suit jacket. Wow. Then he pulled away with a slightly dazed smile, and you knew you must look exactly the same.

“You look pretty damn good yourself,” was all you could say.

Jamie just grinned. “Shall we?” he asked, tilting his head towards the restaurant.

You just tucked your hand into the crook of his arm and nodded.

The two of you walked inside, your breath hitching in your throat at the sophisticated décor, trying not to feel out of place as Jamie gave his name for the reservation. He must’ve felt you freeze because he leant down to press a kiss to the top of your head, winking with a cheeky smile, making you giggle and smile back. Jamie wanted you here with him - that was all that mattered.

In no time at all, the two of you were lead to your table, Jamie ordering wine before the waiter left you in peace for a moment.

“So now that I’ve got you here in person…”

You felt your cheeks warming as he trailed off, that beautiful smile of his making your heart beat a little faster. Well he wasted no time at all.

“Yes, Jamie?” you said, trying to be as calm as possible.

“Obviously I haven’t changed my mind. I was never going to change my mind. Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

Your breath hitched in your throat, his blunt question affecting you just like it did when he’d asked you over the phone, and it was all you could do to nod. “Yeah of course I will, Jamie. My answer hasn’t changed either,”

Jamie laughed softly, almost as if he was relieved, making your chest fill with a little anxiety. Was he really that worried?

“You didn’t think I would change my mind, did you?” you asked, frowning slightly.

Jamie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No, not really. I just…I really like you so I was just filled with so much hope?” he offered.

You couldn’t help but laugh, nudging your foot against his.

“I really like you too,” you said, a little shyly.

“Well that’s good. Because I bought you something,” he said, grinning.

What?

Jamie bit his bottom lip before reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a box. A pale blue box branding that you actually recognised – Tiffany’s.

Why would he…

“Here, I saw these and thought of you,” Jamie said sweetly, “Happy belated Valentine’s Day,”

You inhaled sharply as he passed you the box, unable to do anything but stay silent as you opened it. Inside were the most beautiful square diamond earrings you had ever seen, perfectly cut and polished. Fuck, these must’ve been so much money. Why did he spend that on you? Why would he…why? You swallowed heavily, looking back up at him. Jamie seemed to freeze at the trepidation on your face.

“Is something wrong?” he asked nervously.

“I…why did you buy me something so expensive? I don’t need…”

You trailed off, glancing back down at the beautiful earrings before letting out a shaky breath.

“Jamie, why?” was all you could say.

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and he sighed. “I really did just see these earrings and think how nice they would look on you, and that maybe you would like them? It may sound stupid, but I like buying things for the people I care about. Like, I fought so hard to work my way onto the team, still fight for a permanent place every day, and the fact that things are finally becoming more settled for me means that I have money I never had before,”

You opened your mouth but quickly shut it with a click, the look on Jamie’s face telling you he wasn’t finished.

“It’s not about showing off my money though. Everything that I’ve worked for means that I can spend money on things I never would’ve been able to otherwise. I like being able to treat the most important people in my life. You’re one of those people now. And I know that you don’t need expensive things, which is why I wanted to buy these earrings in the first place. You would never ask – you would never assume you were entitled to them, as the girlfriend of an NHL player. You just like me for me, and I wanted to show you how much that means to me. It’s, like, my love language or whatever. Seggy made me do a quiz,”

You couldn’t help but laugh, hand rising up to cover your smile afterwards. Of all the things to break the emotional moment. “Seggy made you do a quiz?”

Jamie blushed furiously, but nodded. “The love language thing fits too, how I like to show affection. He said I needed to know how to treat you right, how to show you how I feel. So you would never doubt it, even when I’m not there,”

You bit your bottom lip, glancing down at the gift once more.

“I don’t doubt it,” you said softly.

When you looked back up at him, Jamie had the biggest smile on his face, making your stomach fill with butterflies.

“So do you like them?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course I do Jamie. Just…this love language thing, it doesn’t mean gifts like this all the time, y’know? It’s just as meaningful to me to bring me, like, eggs when I run out or a cute pair of socks or whatever,”

Because as much as Jamie wanted to spend his money on you, he really didn’t need to. Expensive jewellery, as incredibly beautiful as it is and as astounded as you were that he’d even seen them and thought of you, wasn’t something you could use all the time. It could be a balance, right?

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Jamie grinned, “That doesn’t mean I won’t buy something for you if I see it though,”

You bit your bottom lip to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face. Such a ridiculous man. Shutting the box in your hand, you slipped it carefully into your handbag for safekeeping.

“I still can’t believe you bought me Tiffany’s earrings. I’ll save them for special occasions? They’re so beautiful, Jamie,” you said, voice filled with wonder, even to your ears.

“Like I said, I saw them and thought of you,” Jamie shrugged, although his smile showed you just how pleased he was with that.

You felt your cheeks warm up at the compliment, a smile spreading across your own lips. “Shall we look at the menus before the waiter comes back?” you asked, trying to get the attention of yourself.

Jamie laughed, just nodding. “That’s probably a good idea,”

You picked up the menu, hiding the smile on your face that had now turned stupid, even more so as Jamie nudged your foot with his again. If this was just him asking you to be his girlfriend? Well, you couldn’t wait to see where your relationship went next.

*

You thought the little things Jamie did would stop now that you were official, now that he wasn’t trying to woo you anymore.

But if anything, his romantic nature only increased.

Even in only the space of a few days, the few days he had off with light training before his next home game, he delivered another bouquet of flowers to your workplace (making you the envy of your bank of desks) as well as meeting you for lunch every day. You knew it couldn’t last, couldn’t keep up like this (even just because of the fact that he would go on a roadtrip again soon enough), so you were soaking it all in while you could.

There was nothing wrong with enjoying the ‘honeymoon period’ of your relationship, right?

And it wasn’t just flowers and lunches – it was the little things too. Officially being his girlfriend seemed to take a door off its hinges in terms of affection from Jamie. He would give you a gentle kiss on the forehead in passing. He would kiss you on the cheek when you were sitting in his arms watching tv. He gave your hand a little squeeze whenever your hands were clasped, fingers linked while you were walking down the street.

It was all of these little romantic affectionate things that made your heart beat a little faster, your stomach fill with butterflies, your cheeks ache with a smile. He was so so sweet – surely this would last?

You could only hope.

*

Tonight was a big night. Well, perhaps not for some, but for you? Huge.

Tonight you were going to a game for the first time as Jamie’s girlfriend. You were going to be sitting with the other spouses and partners. While you were excited, of course, you were also so nervous. Who wouldn’t be? This was a big step. This was public. You were going to be sitting with Jamie’s surname on your jersey, identifying you as his. And that was a lot.

But he was so excited to see you at a game, to see him play when you were official, and there was no way you could say no. This was just nerves, that’s all. You could get over a few nerves for him, right?

So after putting on a cute pair of boots with your comfiest jeans and a warm long-sleeved top, you slipped on the Oleksiak jersey Jamie had given you, biting your bottom lip when you saw his name across your back. When you saw how much you liked it.

Yeah, maybe you could get used to this.

Hair loosely curled and make-up applied to perfection, you walked into the arena with the pass that Jamie gave you, smiling nervously as you made your way to your seat. The sheer size of the arena never failed to amaze you – the vast white spread of the ice vs the roar of the crowd was always a little overwhelming, which didn’t help your nerves. But you tried to focus on that rush of excitement for gametime, the underlying buzz you could already feel from the fans – that’s what kept your feet moving forward step by step. It wasn’t long before you spotted the names Bishop, Cogliano, Pavelski…

“Hey, you made it! Tyler said you were coming to support Riggy today,”

Tyler? Oh Seguin, of course, duh.

“Yeah Jamie gave Tyler my number, he was pretty enthusiastic about welcoming me to the team,” you said, smiling.

The beautiful blonde rolled her eyes fondly. “Yeah that sounds like Tyler,”

You just giggled, earning another smile.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to everybody before warm-ups start,” she said, “I have no doubt that Riggy will take up all your attention as soon as he gets on the ice,”

Your cheeks flared with heat as she winked…but her teasing set you at ease. She was welcoming you like you already belonged, like you were already seamlessly part of the group – was that Jamie’s doing? Did he ask them to be nice to you? No…even if he did, that didn’t mean she had to be genuine about it. Deep breaths, you could do this.

“Come on!” she grinned, beckoning you forward.

You grinned back at her, letting her lead you towards the other women. There were a lot of faces, a lot of beautiful glamorous faces to put names to, but by the time you’d been introduced to everyone and guided into a seat, warm-ups started. Without even meaning to, you immediately started searching for Jamie’s familiar body, knowing you’d at least be able to identify him that way, head and shoulders above everyone else as always.

“Aww look at Riggy searching for you,”

You bit your lip to hide your smile at Andrea Bishop’s words, just waving as Jamie finally spotted you. When he waved back, his whole face lighting up, the other spouses and partners aww’d and cooed, making you laugh. You didn’t hesitate to blow Jamie a kiss, which he pretended to catch and press into his heart, making you laugh again at the cheesiness of the action. Jamie just winked at you before skating off to make some passes, your nerves finally settling.

“Oh wow, Tyler was right, you two really are sugary sweet,”

Oops, guilty.

“Yeah he is so head over heels, it’s so cute. There’s no way Riggy isn’t going to be showing off, playing like a beast tonight,”

You just laughed, shrugging.

“I can’t wait,” you grinned.

A chorus of cheers sounded from the women around you, making your stomach fill with butterflies. Somehow, with Jamie’s name across your shoulders and the smiles of the women around you, you felt like you belonged. Was it really that easy?

*

Weeks came and went. Games were won and lost. Jamie stayed the ever-sweet gentleman. You slowly relaxed into your new relationship. It felt like you were floating on a cloud, living in a dream…and if was a dream, you sure as hell didn’t want to wake up.

Every day he found a way to make you smile, to laugh, to count your lucky stars, and even your family was getting excited about this relationship. Jamie was…everything. He made it clear that he only wanted the best for you, even to the point of making your Instagram account private due to some unsavoury comments from ‘fans’. And it didn’t even matter whether you were in his fancy apartment or your not-so-fancy apartment – he made every moment one that you treasured.

It sounds sappy, it sounds dumb, it sounds too good to be true, you knew that. But you didn’t care. This was the happiest you’d ever been, and if it was too good to last like this then you were going to embrace and enjoy every single minute of it.

Tonight you were out at a bar with Jamie and his friends, all dolled up for Joel Kiviranta’s birthday, and you just knew that tonight was going to be one to remember.

“Happy birthday Kivi!!”

The birthday boy grinned at the loud cheers, accepting rough pats on the back and hair ruffles as he made his way to the large booth that the Captain had organised, the other Finns walking behind him. The bar was huge – dark lights but classy tables and booths – and while it was busy it wasn’t heaving with people. The music was just loud enough and the booths were spread out enough that you had enough privacy from the next group of people. It was the perfect place to celebrate Jamie’s friend’s birthday. You just grinned from where you were sitting on Jamie’s lap, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, especially so publicly. All of this still felt so new, even after nearly 3 months in – but being surrounded by this much love, this huge family feeling…well, it was quickly becoming addictive. Who wouldn’t want to be in the middle of all of this?

“Captain buys the first round!”

The man in question rolled his eyes with a grin at Tyler’s loud declaration, dragging Bish up to the bar to help him too.

“Ready to let loose tonight?” Jamie murmured in your ear.

“Sounds like fun to me,” you grinned, turning your body to face him slightly.

Jamie grinned back, pecking your lips with a gentle kiss, before continuing his conversation with Dickie on his left, making you laugh and turn to Tyler on your right.

“Here’s to a good night!” Tyler smirked.

A good night indeed.

One drink turned to two, which turned to five, which turned to you needing to go to the bathroom pretty badly. You were still in the group booth, but rather than sitting on Jamie’s lap you were sitting next to him, some space having been made after some of the team went off to dance.

“Hey, let me past?” you said to Jamie, where he was blocking the exit of the booth.

“Where are you going?” he frowned.

You rolled your eyes fondly. “To the bathroom, and no you can’t come with,”

Jamie blushed fiercely but quickly stood up to let you out, making you laugh. As he sat back down, you leant down to press a slow sweet kiss to his lips, unable to stop yourself from smiling as Jamie’s hands clutched at your hips. He groaned at the whistles and jeers that sounded around you, making you laugh again, but you pecked one last kiss to his lips before standing up properly.

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased, stepping away from him

“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave!” he called back, earning loud laughter from the group.

You laughed loudly too, shaking your head, blowing him a kiss before you navigated your way across the bar to the bathrooms in the back. Thankfully it was empty, leaving you to do your business in peace. But just as you were pulling your underwear back up, the door crashed open, and two girls entered. From what you could hear, with their giggling and stumbling, they were well past drunk, so you sighed and sat down on the closed toilet seat, preferring to wait until they were gone to leave and wash your hands. Zero drama, please and thank you.

You tuned out as they started talking, Girl 1’s nasally voice loud and abrasive with Girl 2’s giggle already irritating…until you heard them start talking about the Stars. Then you couldn’t stop yourself from listening.

“…yeah it’s one of their birthdays. One of the Finns I think? I don’t know. Or care,” Girl 1 said.

Lovely. A big fan then.

“I don’t know, I reckon he wouldn’t mind a birthday treat,” Girl 2 laughed. You could only imagine the grin on her face, given the giggles from Girl 1.

“It’s such a shame that Big Rig looks out of commission though,” Girl 2 sighed.

Out of commission? Charming.

Then the other girl snickered, and you had no doubt she was rolling her eyes.

“So what? It’s not like this one is going to be around very long. He never commits to a steady girl,” her nasal voice said indifferently.

What?

You swallowed heavily, a pit of nausea filling your stomach. She was just making things up, right?

“I don’t know, this one’s already been around longer than usual,” Girl 2 said.

Girl 1, nasty nasal, just giggled. “Then obviously she’ll be out on her ear soon. She’s nothing special anyway. Trust me, Big Rig’s never committed before, and that isn’t going to change now,”

Oh fuck. You clasped a shaky hand over your mouth to hide the whimper that threatened to spill out. She was lying right? She had to be lying. Fuck, fuck why were you still listening to this?

“Come on, let’s go get some guys to buy us shots,” Girl 1 said.

The two of them walked out of the bathroom, but their smug words rang around your head, and it was all you could do to take a shaky breath, tears filling your eyes. The nausea only got worse, bile rising in your throat, but you took shaky breath after shaky breath until it settled again.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

Oh fuck. You choked out a sob before shaking your head, running a shaky hand through your hair. No, no you couldn’t stay around here knowing that’s what people thought of you. You couldn’t bear the stares and the smirks and the snickering. Not tonight, not now, not in front of the whole team and their better halves. Jamie…he wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t act like that?

But what if they were right?

No, no, they had to be wrong. But still…what if?

What the hell were you meant to think? Whatever it was, you couldn’t decide here, couldn’t decide now. You had to go, that was the only way to preserve at least a little bit of your dignity. Fuck.

Yeah, leaving, collecting your thoughts, taking a step back, that was the way to handle this. Not to make a scene – that really wasn’t your style. Jamie…

Fuck, Jamie.

Jamie would just have to deal with it tonight. You didn’t want to say something you’d regret, that was for sure. So with a deep breath and a brief close of your eyes for confidence, you left your bathroom stall, washing your hands and quickly reapplying your lipstick in the mirror as armour. Yes, leaving was the best idea. At least for tonight.

The nausea returned as you walked back over to the group booth, and you knew that Jamie wasn’t the only one that noticed the unease on your face.

“Hey, what’s up?” he frowned.

“I don’t feel that great, so I’m going to head home,” you said softly, just loud enough to be heard over the music.

With that, you grabbed your jacket and walked away, not waiting for an answer. You sure as hell didn’t want to give anyone a chance to convince you to stay. But within seconds Jamie was by your side, his own jacket in his hand.

“Hey, wait up,” he said, smiling as he rested a hand on your shoulder.

Damn it.

“Stay, Jamie,” you said shortly, stopping in your tracks and turning round to face him.

“What?” he said, confused, “if you don’t feel well then I want to make sure you get home okay,”

“I don’t want you to come with me,” you snapped.

The hurt that spread across Jamie’s face made you feel sick all over again, but for different reasons. Oh fuck. That…that wasn’t what you meant at all. Where did that come from? Damn it.

“Um, I…”

“Just go back to your friends, J,” you sighed, interrupting, “I want to be alone right now,”

“Okay,” he said quietly, shoulders slumped in defeat, “Let me know when you get home?”

You just nodded, offering a weak smile before you turned and walked out towards the exit. Pulling your phone out of your bag, you quickly ordered an uber, thankful there was a car only 4 minutes away. At least something was going right tonight.

“I saw you and Riggy, you know,”

You flinched at the sound of Tyler’s voice as he stepped up next to you but stayed silent, not wanting to get into it. Not with him. Tyler just sighed.

“Obviously I don’t know what happened or what was said, but seeing you look that angry, and then Riggy looking so upset, only for you to walk out looking just as upset? I couldn’t just let you leave like that without checking you’re okay,” Tyler said softly.

Maybe he should’ve just let it go. But you knew Tyler well enough to know that he wasn’t going to drop this, not easily.

“It’s nothing,” you murmured.

Tyler just hmm’d. You laughed weakly, running a hand through your hair. Of all the time for him to be particularly insightful.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you sighed.

Tyler smiled sadly at the defeat in your voice but nodded. At least he wasn’t going to push you for a proper answer. At least he was letting you leave with a little bit of dignity.

“Let me know when you get home safe? I’ll let you know when Riggy’s home safe too. He’s already downed a few shots so I don’t think he’s going to be in a good shape,” he said quietly.

It was all you could do to nod, wrapping your arms around yourself. Jamie was lucky to have such a good friend. With another sad smile, Tyler pulled you into a hug, not letting go until your uber pulled up to the curb. He gave your shoulder one last squeeze before stepping backwards, and you shut the door in silence, desperately trying not to break down just yet. The uber driver seemed to sense your mood, pulling away with nothing more than a gruff hello, and you just rested your head against the glass as you noticed Tyler still watching you.

You could only hope that he didn’t notice the tears trickling down your cheeks.

*

What a terrible night.

You still weren’t entirely sure if leaving had been the best idea…but you did know that the words those girls said still haunted you. Of course, you’d barely slept, their horrible comments swirling around in your brain, not made any better by the increasingly incoherent pleading texts that Jamie had sent you, as well as the confirmation from Tyler that he’d personally dropped Jamie off at his apartment because he was far too drunk to get home by himself.

You didn’t want to dwell on what had happened. But you also didn’t want to admit how much your insecurities played into their words. You couldn’t bear the thought of any of it being even remotely true – and you also couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Jamie look so hurt again.

So what the hell were you meant to do?

It was stupidly early when you dragged yourself out of bed, knowing full well that sleep wasn’t coming. You hadn’t bothered showering, hair a mess and eyes a little pandary where you’d only half-heartedly removed your make-up last night – coffee was the only thing you were focused on. Sweet sweet coffee, the only thing that was going to get to moving today.

But as you poured your first cup, the buzzer for your front door went, so you went to the intercom with a frown.

“Hello?” you asked hesitantly.

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come up?”

Jamie. Oh wow. What was he doing here at this time? You didn’t answer him, just bit your bottom lip as you pressed the buzzer to let him into the apartment building. There was no point in getting dressed or putting on make-up – he knew full well what you looked like at this time of day so he could deal with it. Well, that, and there was no time to do much anyway. All you did was scrub a little at the stubborn mascara, ensuring you looked a little less tragic and tear-streaked. By the time he was knocking on your front door, anxious butterflies had filled your stomach, but you let him in anyway, taking in his dishevelled appearance, wearing sweatpants and a tshirt that you knew he only wore when he was planning on lying around at home. So why was he wearing them out now?

“Thanks for letting me in,” Jamie murmured, closing the front door behind him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you frowned.

Jamie winced, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure where we stood after last night,”

“Jamie…”

You trailed off, sighing, the nausea and frustration and desperation of last night flooding your body all over again. Jamie swallowed heavily, taking a step closer towards you, but you couldn’t produce any more words.

 “I didn’t want this to linger and fester, whatever it is. Whatever happened that set you off last night, whatever it was, I just…I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Jamie said sadly.

Any lingering anger or frustration you had fizzled away, and your shoulders slumped in defeat. Jamie frowned as your face crumpled, immediately stepping those final steps forward to pull you into his arms. That was all it took to make you start crying again, awful harrowing sobs into his chest, and Jamie cursed under his breath before holding you tighter, hand rubbing your back soothingly. It was like all the emotions that had hit you full force last night were resurging again now, full blast and agonising, and it was all you could do to bury your face into his tshirt, clutching at the material at the small of his back like an anchor.

You were lost, drowning in the hurt and misery you felt from those nasty words, and Jamie was the only thing keeping your head above water.

Eventually, somehow, your sobs softened down to sniffles, Jamie releasing his hold on you a little.

“Why don’t you take a shower, and then we can talk?” he said softly.

You just nodded miserably, bottom lip still trembling as Jamie gently guided you to the bathroom. You were exhausted – mentally and physically drained – and the only thing you really wanted to do was sleep. But Jamie was right, the two of you needed to talk. He turned on the shower for you, helping you out of your pyjamas, an oversized tshirt and short shorts, nothing sexual about his motions in the slightest. He just wanted to help, as he always did. Sweet gentle giant.

“I’ll be outside when you’re ready,” he murmured.

You mustered up a smile and nodded, letting him leave the bathroom before your smile dropped. You let the hot water pour down over your face and body, washing away the angst, the drama, the frustration, the sorrow. Things would get better, right? You’d get through this, right?

By the time you got out of the shower you felt a little less emotionally shaky, but still physically tired. It wasn’t like you could turn Jamie away now though. There was nothing else for it – you had to get back out there and face him. Luckily you’d left your dressing gown in the bathroom, so after drying yourself off and wrapping your hair in a towel, you threw on the dressing gown and headed into your bedroom…where Jamie was lounging on the bed, legs kicked up and back propped up by pillows.

“Don’t you look comfy,” you mused.

The smile he sent you in return, that beautiful big smile, made your stomach fizzle with butterflies.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching a hand out towards you.

You instinctively took his offered hand in your own, smiling as he squeezed your fingers gently.

“Been better, been worse,” you shrugged, not wanting to lie.

Jamie’s smile dimmed to a frown. Here it goes…

“What happened last night? Everything was fine – or at least I thought it was?” he asked, confused.

Straight to it then.

“I don’t think you’re going to like it,” you hesitated.

Jamie’s squeezed your hand again, tugging to gently closer to him, until he could rest a hand on your waist.

“I just want to know what upset you so that I can make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future,” Jamie said earnestly, eyes wide and face serious.

Well damn. You sighed, taking a step backwards, earning a frown until you flipped your head upside down to quickly rough-dry your hair, making Jamie laugh softly. You flipped it back with a shrug and a small smile, dropping the damp towel to the floor – if you were going to bare your heart then you wanted to feel a little less ridiculous than with a towel wrapped on your head.

“It was nothing to do with you. Well, not directly? I was in the bathroom, about to exit the stall to wash my hands when these two girls came in. I stayed sitting in the stall because they sounded really drunk – loud and giggling and stumbling – and I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned the Stars. So I continued to stay in the stall, and that’s when they started talking about you,”

“About me?” Jamie asked, confused.

You bit your lip briefly but nodded.

“Yeah, about you. How you never commit to any girl, to any relationship. How I’ll be out the door soon. How I’m nothing special. How you’d never change just because you’re with me for the moment,”

Jamie’s jaw dropped and he opened his mouth…but you shook your head, needing to finish.

“Everything they said hit me in my insecurities, Jamie. They made me feel like shit and start doubting everything, and I just needed to leave because I didn’t want to face anyone. And before I said something to you that I would regret. Then I went ahead and hurt you anyway, which only made me feel worse,”

There it was.

“Baby, you’ve got to know that nothing they said is true,” Jamie said gruffly, eyes shining.

Right.

“So you’ve been in a committed relationship before?” you snapped back.

You knew he hadn’t. You already knew that. So why did he say it?

“Well, no, that part’s true,” Jamie winced.

“Is that why you send me flowers, buy me gifts, shower me with compliments? Is that what you do? What you’ve done with all those other girls?”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you regretted saying them – but it was too late. Jamie’s jaw dropped, hurt flashing across his face just like last night, before he shook his head firmly. “No, I haven’t done any of that with any other girl,”

“You haven’t?” you asked dryly, folding your arms over your chest.

“No!” he insisted, “They were never worth it. Yeah, I used to sleep around a little. I’m not ashamed of that. It was fun and easy and I didn’t want the commitment when I was trying to cement a place for myself up on the team. But then I met you, and that all changed,”

You swallowed heavily, looking away from him as your eyes pricked with tears. You wanted to believe. You wanted to believe him so much. By looking away, you missed the way Jamie’s forehead creased with a hurt expression again, but you didn’t miss it as he stood up and moved to stand in front of you, so you had no choice but to look up at him.

“I know it sounds like I’m just saying these things, but it’s true. You can ask any of the guys. I’ve never felt like this before for any woman. I’ve never acted this way around another woman. You are so special to me – and I don’t want to go back to that life I had before I met you. This relationship we have is serious to me, and I don’t want to lose that because some jealous catty girls made you feel insecure about what we have between us,”

You couldn’t help but whimper at his soft words, chin quivering as you fought not to cry again, one hand coming up to cover your mouth. Jamie made a distressed noise, guiding you to sit down on the bed and kneeling down in front of you so you could see the anguish on his face too.

“I don’t know what else to do or say for you to believe me. I care about you so much, and I know that my track record doesn’t exactly help me out here, but you’re different. What we have is different. Please believe me,” Jamie said desperately.

The devastation in his voice filled your stomach with lead. He really was pouring his whole heart into this, wasn’t he? And what reason did you have not to believe him? Were you really going to throw away the best relationship you’d ever had just because of some gossipy girls in the bathroom of a bar?

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Okay?” he asked hopefully.

You swallowed heavily but nodded. “Okay, I believe you. I really want to believe you. So I’m going to try not to let my insecurity get the better of me,” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could.

The sheer relief on Jamie’s face made your heart beat a little faster. He leant his forehead against yours briefly, just long enough to inhale slowly, before he leant back, smiling the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, to which you could do nothing but smile back at him.

“I’m going to prove to you how much you mean to me,” Jamie said firmly.

“Jamie, no, I don’t need-”

“But maybe I do. Need to prove it, that is,” he interrupted, eyes wide but serious, “Maybe I need to do this for me,”

You bit your bottom lip but nodded. If that’s what he needs?

“Just don’t go crazy?” you winced.

Jamie laughed softly, but shook his head. “I won’t, I promise,”

Well that was something at least. He moved to sit next to you on the bed, hand lacing with yours again.

“Do you want to nap? Even just for another hour or so?” he said softly.

“Oh god, more than anything,” you groaned, nodding.

Jamie laughed, that beautiful smile back on his face, as he reached one arm back to tug his tshirt over his head. He stood up, pausing briefly, before he shoved his sweatpants to the ground, revealing himself to be wearing no underwear at all. He sat back down, eyes hesitant, cock soft against his thigh, completely bare and vulnerable to you, before he reached for your dressing gown sash. You stayed silent as he tugged it open, only moving to help him slip it off your body, leaving you just as bare as him. He smiled at you, ducking his head to give you the gentlest of kisses, before guiding the two of you under the covers.

“You’re everything to me, baby,” he murmured, hand rising to cup your face.

Your heart swelled with warmth and your eyes filled with tears, making Jamie frown until you captured his lips with a kiss, trying to pour your emotions into the embrace as your hands clutched at his shoulders.

“Hey, hey, ssh, it’s okay. We’re okay,” he mumbled between kisses.

You pulled away from him, inhaling shakily as you nodded.

“Hold me while we sleep?” you asked hopefully.

“Of course,” he said softly, smiling sweetly.

That smile was all you needed to reassure you as you turned over, letting him press his chest to your back and wrap his arms around you from behind. As you closed your eyes and relaxed, you felt him press soft absent-minded kisses to your neck, drifting off in the warmth of his hold.

*

Jamie sighed at the number of cars already at the training rink as he parked his car. He knew that his heavier-than-usual drinking at Kivi’s birthday two nights ago had raised some eyebrows, especially from the teammates who’d seen you leave early. Of course he was happier knowing that things were okay between the two of you again, but he didn’t relish the thought of explaining to anyone why you’d left, but if he knew his team (and he did, too well)

How people could be so cruel was beyond him.

He avoided meeting anyone’s eyes as he walked through the corridor maze to the locker room, just nodding at the few people getting changed when he dropped his bag on the floor. He could hear more people entering the room from wherever they’d been in the rink before he got there, but it wasn’t until Jamie was about to put his skates on that he heard someone clearing their throat next to him.

“Hey Riggy, got a minute?”

Jamie looked up at the sound of Tyler’s voice, raising an eyebrow as he noticed his Captain watching, along with Bish, Dickie and Pavs. Great.

“Sure,” Jamie said simply.

Tyler beamed at him and started walking out of the room, making Jamie sigh as he followed him into an empty trainer’s room. As soon as the door was closed, Jamie folded his arms over his chest, staring his teammate down.

“Is this an ordered interrogation?” Jamie asked bluntly.

Tyler just grinned, unperturbed. “Well it was either me by myself or a group intervention,” he shrugged.

Oof, no thank you. That would’ve been all kinds of awkward. Tyler laughed at the grimace on Jamie’s face, nudging Jamie with his shoulder until Jamie unfolded his arms. Tyler jerked his chin at a chair, indicating wordlessly for Jamie to sit down, so he did so, Tyler following his lead and sitting down too.

“You know we care about you,” Tyler started.

“Aww jeez Seggy,” Jamie groaned, interrupting.

Tyler just laughed, kicking out a foot at Jamie, toes lightly tapping his shin.

“I’m serious, man! You’re not normally a heavy drinker like that and we’re worried. I mean, I know that it had something to do with you and your girl, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it while I waited for her uber with her,”

“Thank you for making sure she was okay, by the way,” Jamie said, swallowing heavily.

Because he sure as hell hadn’t been able to himself.

“Yeah of course, Riggy. I care about her too, she’s a good person,” Tyler shrugged, smiling.

Jamie smiled back, appreciating Tyler’s candid caring nature even more.

“Are the two of you okay?” Tyler asked softly.

Jamie nodded, although he felt his smile dimming a little at the memory of how emotional yesterday had been.

“We spent yesterday talking, on and off. I went over really early in the morning to confront her. Not in an aggressive way, but like, to make sure she was okay and to ask her what happened? Well, she essentially had a breakdown and eventually told me why she left, and after we napped for a few hours, we just spent the day watching mindless tv in between talking more,” Jamie explained.

Tyler let out a sigh of relief, nodding, making Jamie smile slightly. The fact that his teammate cared so much about his relationship meant so much, especially with how close Tyler had grown with you in only a few months. To have that kind of support was so important to him – the team was like a second family, so it meant a lot to Jamie that they’d welcomed you with open arms.

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” Tyler asked.

Jamie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

“She was in the bathroom and overheard some puck bunnies talking about how I never commit to a relationship and how she was nothing special so I’d be ending our relationship soon enough. How I would never change,” Jamie muttered.

Tyler groaned, wincing. “Shit, I can see why she was so upset,”

Jamie just nodded, frowning. “I understand why she left, really I do. But I just don’t know what I can do to help her. People are always going to talk, that’s a downside of a relationship like this. But I just…I like her so much. And I hate that she felt so insecure yesterday, especially since I think she’s incredible,”

“Look…I haven’t known her long, and especially not like you do, but what I do know, I get it. I can see why she would be anxious,” Tyler admitted.

“Why? How?” Jamie frowned.

How could you not see how amazing he thought you were?

“It may be a couple of months down the line for the two of you, but it’s still new too. New enough. And you did play around a little – not that there’s anything wrong with that, you were always clear in letting those girls know you didn’t want anything serious. Just like you’ve been clear with her how much she means to you. This is the first time she’s had something so direct in person. It’s just…cut her a little slack,” Tyler reminded him.

Jamie felt his heart sink but nodded. Tyler was right. Of course he was right. Just because it felt like it had been years already…it was still new. Wonderful and incredible and heartstopping, but new.

“I know, of course I will. I told her I’m going to prove to her how much she means to me, but I just don’t know how,” Jamie said seriously.

Tyler laughed, shaking his head. “You and your love language man,”

Jamie blushed but shrugged. He wasn’t ashamed of how much he enjoyed being able to buy gifts to show his affection – because it wasn’t just empty gestures. Whenever he bought something, it was out of love, and every little gift meant something to him.

“All I can say is combine what you love with what she loves. Can’t hurt to have a balance,” Tyler said, shrugging.

Then he laughed at the exasperated look on Jamie’s face.

“Don’t make things complicated. Stick with the classics, Riggy. You can’t go wrong with the classics,” Tyler grinned.

“Yeah, alright you make a good point,” Jamie conceded, nodding.

A fancy dinner? A fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant could work, right? Somewhere special, where he could show you how special you were…

“Alright I can see the cogs are turning. We’d better get back to practice though, before Cap comes after us himself,” Tyler mused.

Jamie grimaced, making Tyler cackle as he stood up. He accepted the wordless hug from Tyler without hesitation though, thumping him once on the back before the two of them left the room. He could only hope to get through practice smoothly – he had plans to sweep you off your feet to make.

*

From: Tyler

So I heard from a little birdie that Riggy is taking you out to The French Room tonight?

~

The French Room. Hah. When Jamie had told you he had reservations three days after your long heart to heart, your jaw had dropped. One of the top rated dining places in Downtown Dallas?! And he had reservations?! You were so glad he’d given you forewarning though, because it meant you were able to dress up to match the venue. This wasn’t just something you could guess for.

Because somewhere this opulent needed something a little fancier than usual.

Luckily, a couple of weeks back after that first game you attended as Jamie’s girlfriend, some of the spouses and partners had taken you out for a girls’ afternoon, a boozy lunch with shopping afterwards, and they’d convinced you to buy a gorgeous pale blue long-sleeved knee-length lace dress, much fancier than you would usually buy, just in case. Just in case was the occasion tonight.

Jamie’s jaw had even dropped when he picked you up, eyes roving over your body, so you’d take it as a win.

Walking into the restaurant had your heart beating so fast – even the ceilings, arched and grand as they were, took your breath away. Jamie just watched you with a smile, hand gentle on your back as the two of you were guided to your secluded table. Jamie gave the waiter your wine order before you’d even sat down, making you laugh softly at the pleased look on his face.

“Someone’s prepared,” you teased.

“Someone’s worth preparing for,” he shot back, winking.

Your cheeks flushed with heat, only making Jamie smile wider.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jamie murmured, eyes staring straight into your soul.

“Jamie!” you giggled, one hand covering your face in embarrassment.

He laughed, reaching over the table to tug your hand away from your face, linking your fingers with his as he rested your joined hands on the table.

“I mean it. Everyone’s jealous that I’m with the most beautiful woman in the room,” Jamie said simply.

“Oh you smooth talker,” you mused, cheeks still warm.

“I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me,” he shrugged, laughter in his eyes.

“Your wine?”

Saved by the bell. Or well, the waiter.

“A toast?” Jamie said, picking up his glass when the waiter had left you once more.

“Toast to what?” you asked, smiling as you picked up your wine glass too.

“A toast to us,” he said smoothly, “a toast to us and all there is to come,”

You bit your bottom lip to stop the stupid grin threatening to spread across your face, but could do nothing about the butterflies that filled your stomach. The warmth in his eyes as your glasses clinked together made your heartbeat pick up as always, and then there was that beautiful genuine smile…how could you have any chance of surviving that? This was everything you needed after that awful evening – just you and him and a special evening together. What more could you ask for?

Then his smile faded into the most serious expression you’d ever seen him wear, and you swallowed heavily, heart beating fast for all different reasons now.

“I know you have your reservations, your insecurities about us, especially after the other night. All I can do is try to remind you just how much I adore you, how important you are to me. I know you don’t need fancy gifts or extravagant dinners all the time, but tonight…tonight feels special to me,” Jamie said.

“It feels special to me too, Jamie,” you replied, a little hesitant, “But…”

“No buts. Unless it’s your butt,” Jamie mused.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his cheesy words, the nervous tension breaking a little, although you still felt a little trepidation as Jamie’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. He only did that when he was nervous…

What did he have to be nervous about?

It was when he pulled a red box out of his pocket and passed it across the table to you that you got your answer.

Cartier. Holy shit.

“Jamie…”

You trailed off helplessly, only able to stare at the box in shock.

“Please, will you open it?” Jamie asked softly.

You bit your bottom lip but nodded, opening the lid with a shaky hand.

Inside was a delicate chain bracelet connecting to three overlapping rings, each a different colour of gold – rose gold, yellow gold and white gold. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing anyone had ever given you. And Jamie had given it to you?

He cleared his throat, making you look back up at him.

“It’s called the sweet trinity. There was a whole blurb about it online, but, uh, from what I remember, the pink stands for love, yellow for fidelity and white for friendship. When I saw that, it makes so much sense to me - they are intertwined because you can’t have one without the other. Which is exactly how I feel about you,”

Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes pricking with tears and your mouth going dry. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Jamie saw the overwhelmed expression on your face and leaned forward, hand reaching out to hold yours, bringing your attention back to him.

“I saw the bracelet before the…event the other night. You can ask Tyler, I was with him. He teased me about being head over heels for you already. When I walked past that same Cartier store again today, I just followed my gut and went inside again – and there it was, still sitting on the cushion on display. It felt like fate,” Jamie said softly.

You inhaled sharply, looking down at the beautiful piece of jewellery again. Never had anyone bought you anything like this, never. And you didn’t want to know how much it cost – you could only imagine. For him to buy you something like this?

“I don’t know what to say,” you murmured, looking back up at him with wide eyes.

“Say you’ll wear it?” Jamie asked hopefully.

You laughed a little helplessly, cutting yourself off by biting your bottom lip. How could you ever turn down something that beautiful, when Jamie had thought about it just for you? When he’d gone back, followed his instincts, and still come to the same conclusion?

“Yeah, of course I will,” you nodded, smiling widely.

The answering smile that Jamie gave you filled your stomach with butterflies.

“Now?” he asked.

You just squeezed the hand that he was already holding, smile going a little shy as you flipped it over. “Will you help me put it on?”

Jamie inhaled sharply at the thin delicate skin of your wrist but nodded. “Yeah, yeah, if you want me to,”

You watched intently as he carefully took the bracelet out of the box, and your cheeks warmed at how gently he moved your wrist with his large hands, turning it just so to get the clasp done up properly. As the cool metal hit your skin, Jamie’s eyes widened, shifting a little darker as his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Interesting.

“That looks amazing on you,” he murmured.

Huh. He really does like it.

You gently trailed a finger over the delicate chain, over the thin skin of your wrist, and Jamie inhaled sharply, making you grin. Maybe Tyler wasn’t wrong about this love language thing after all. Maybe it was exactly what Jamie needed.

“Maybe we should look at the menu?” you suggested, tilting your head slightly.

Jamie narrowed his eyes slightly at the teasing lilt in your voice, but smiled slowly, knowing that the obvious desire in his eyes made you squirm in the best way.

“Yes, good idea. The night has only just began after all,” Jamie smirked.

Well now there was a thought.

*

You woke up in Jamie’s bed the next morning with an ache between your thighs, early morning light peeking through the curtains, lengthening your body out in a luxurious stretch. Jamie was completely knocked out still beside you, and you couldn’t help but bury your face in your pillow to muffle your happy squeal. Last night had been amazing – not just because of the incredible gift Jamie had given you, but because of the feelings behind it. Jamie had shown his heart to you, and you had accepted it entirely. Anxiety and insecurity would never fully go away, but he had more than proven to you that he was committed to your relationship.

How could you be happier? Not only that but the food had been outstanding – Jamie’s eyes constantly flicking down to the jewellery on your wrist - and when the two of you had eventually returned back to Jamie’s home, well…he’d brought you to new heights over and over again, until you’d both collapsed in a blissful heap.

Things could only go up from here, right?

It was when you reached for your phone on the bedside table that you spotted the bracelet in its box again. Biting your lip, you snapped a quick picture and send it to Tyler, the previous night’s conversation above it.

~

From: Tyler

Whew that is a pretty little gift there.

I can’t believe he went back and bought it.

~

To: Tyler

Yeah he said that he’d seen it with you and you’d teased him about it.

~

Not that you had doubted Jamie at all, but it made your stomach fill with butterflies to see Tyler confirm his story without you even asking. Jamie was a man of his word – you could appreciate that.

Again, within seconds, Tyler responded.

~

From: Tyler

When do I not tease him?

The man is nuts about you, you know that.

~

His words put a smile on your face, and you glanced over your shoulder to the sleeping man in question beside you.

~

To: Tyler

Yeah I do know. I’m a lucky girl.

~

From: Tyler

Just as much as he is a lucky guy.

~

You snorted, shaking your head. Ridiculous man.

“What’s so funny?”

You jumped slightly at the rumbling voice beside you and put your phone down before rolling over to face your boyfriend.

“Oh nothing, it’s just Tyler,” you shrugged, propping your head up with your hand.

Jamie rolled his eyes fondly. “It is far too early for you to be texting Seggy when you should be snuggling up with me,”

“Oh should I?” you mused.

Jamie growled playfully, scooping his arms around you to tug you towards him, making you shriek and burst out laughing.

“You’re such a caveman,” you giggled, batting at his chest but making exactly zero moves to escape from his hold.

“If you’re naked in my bed, you shouldn’t be thinking of another man,” Jamie pouted.

And as much as you could tell he was joking, there was also a thread of vulnerability in his voice that made you pause for a moment, before smiling softly.

“For one, Tyler doesn’t know that I’m naked in your bed. I mean, I’m sure he can guess, but he doesn’t know. And two, I sent him a photo of the bracelet because we were talking about the date yesterday, and I wanted to tell him how wonderful you are,” you said simply.

Jamie bit his bottom lip, but he was unable to hide the grin that spread across his face. He pulled you even closer together, bare bodies fully pressed up against each other now, allowing you to thread your leg between his thick thighs where you were lying on your side facing him. It was…intimate without being intimate. It was perfect.

“Tell him how wonderful I am, hmm?” Jamie murmured, hand sliding around your waist.

You gasped softly as that large hand settled lightly on your ass, but you grinned.

“Mmhmm, and how lucky I am,”

“I’m the lucky one,” Jamie grinned back.

“That’s what Tyler said,” you nodded.

“Enough talking about Tyler,” Jamie grumbled, squeezing your ass firmly.

A desperate noise escaped your throat, a wave of heat rushing through your body at the claiming action, Jamie’s eyes going dark.

“Don’t stop,” you said, a little breathlessly.

Jamie groaned as if he couldn’t help himself, before he captured your mouth in a kiss.

*

The buzzer sounded and that was it.

That was the end of the Stars season.

Your heart felt like it was cracking, breaking right in two. Jamie had fought so hard throughout the months of the playoffs, given his blood, sweat, & tears in his desperation to win the cup. Hell, the whole team had. Another year, another chance slipping through their fingers. You couldn’t help but shed tears alongside the other spouses and partners and families in the box, all of you knowing how much this had meant to the men in your lives.

But now it was over, and you had to be there to help them pick up the pieces, to recover, and to come back even stronger. Like there was anywhere else you’d rather be.

The wait for Jamie to be able to leave was excruciating. All you wanted to do was to hold him in your arms, but he (and the rest of the team) had to go through media questions as well as their own team debrief, and by the time Jamie eventually appeared he looked exhausted.

Like, drained to the bone exhausted.

Without a word, Jamie passed you his car keys, linking your hands together as you left the arena. Jamie stayed silent the whole way home, during the drive and even after you’d walked in his front door, to the point where you couldn’t hide your worry on your face. What could you do here? How could you help him?

Jamie saw the concern on your face and just pressed a kiss to your forehead, before tugging you gently up the stairs to his bedroom. Silence. All silence. Deafening all-consuming silence that you had no idea what to do with but it was clear that this was all that your boyfriend could handle right now. So you would roll with it, give him what he needed, just be there for him. That part was easy at least.

He stayed silent as he stripped out of his clothes, staying in his underwear, so you followed his lead, thankful for the grateful smile he sent you. It was definitely a new feeling trying to read someone without any verbal prompts, but just the fact that you could tell what Jamie needed after only 6 months without him telling you felt good, like you were doing the right thing.

Jamie guided you into bed with him, waiting until you were settled on your back before he rolled mostly on top of you and buried his face into your neck.

Oh.

Oh Jamie.

You slid your arms around him, one hand rising to play with his messy curls, and you felt him let out a shaky breath, bringing tears to your eyes. This strong wonderful man was barely clinging to his composure and he trusted you to see him so vulnerable? That broke your heart all over again.

Time passed slowly, like wading through molasses, filled only with your fingers stroking Jamie’s curls and his shaky breathing, everything fading out until your world consisted of only the two of you. He needed you. He needed you. He needed you. And there was nowhere you would rather be.

Eventually, Jamie pressed a kiss to your neck, and lifted his head up to look at you.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“What for?” you mused, cupping his bearded face with one hand.

“For being you. For supporting me. For making this suck less. Take your pick,” Jamie shrugged.

You laughed softly but curled your head down slightly to kiss him, just a soft slow kiss, before pulling away again. He still looked tired. Just so done with everything. And if you could help with that, even a little bit, then of course you were going to.

“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” was all you said.

“Hold me a little bit longer?” he asked hopefully.

As if you were going to say no to that. Instead of answering, you just pressed his head back down into your neck, earning a huffed laugh against your skin as well as a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin. You could feel his body relaxing finally, melting into yours, and you let your body do the same, the emotions of the day finally catching up with you. Just as you were starting to drift off, you felt Jamie kiss your neck again.

“I don’t really know what tomorrow is going to be like. Probably awful. But I’m glad I get to do it with you by my side,”

This man. This big beautiful tender-hearted man. How did he not realise how devastating he was to your heart?

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here with you, as long as you want me,” you said softly, willing your voice not to crack.

Jamie hummed softly, pressing another kiss to your neck, before he buried his face back down. You cradled his head with your hand, squeezing the arm you had around his waist that little bit tighter. If he needed you to shield him from the world, to protect his head and his heart, then you absolutely would. He had always been there as a rock when you needed him, and there was nothing that could stop you from being the rock he needed in return now.

You didn’t know what this summer would bring, but you knew you would be right there by his side. The two of you had found each other out of nowhere, and there was no way you were losing him now. Jamie had your heart, just like you had his, and you couldn’t imagine your future without him. It had been a beautiful 6 months together – bring on tomorrow, and every day after that.

[sakuatsutingz]

hi can you possibly do osamu, atsumu and tsukishima when they see someone hitting on their crush (not s/o,yet)? thank youu!!

ofc !! i love this req tho omg,, enjoy !! — jamie

osamu, atsumu & tsukishima when their crush is being hit on

masterlist here

request here

osamu

so osamu has been your best friend since you guys were basically in diapers gn

and you were always attending his games in inarizaki, cheering him on !!

little did you know, samu has had a crush on you for the longest time

his heart would always go ➡️↘️↙️⬅️↗️⬇️⬆️⬇️↖️↙️ whenever you attend his games and cheer the loudest for him

well ure not just a big ass crush to him

youre his best friend and he doesnt wanna ruin your precious friendship <//3

cue years of mutual pining between u two because of that sighs

even aTSUMUS growing impatient

the line between being friends and something more is coming more to a blur every time you guys see each other

like people would think you guys are a couple already because of how close you two act towards each other <//3

but on one fateful day before his vball match started u were already in the hallways, making ur way to the gym where osamus game takes place

and it just so happened a man, who is only slightly taller than you, walked up to u and rested his arm around ur sHOULDER.

u were basically panicking bc u didnt know what to do

“heya doll, what are you doing looking all pretty here ? i say i should take you out.”

your eyebrows furrowed as soon as you heard him, and before you could shove him away from u, you were already caged between the wall

and the lord rlly said ‘let osamu witness all of this’ and boom osamu was there making his way to the water fountain with atsumu and he basically just dropped his water bottle at the sight of you uncomfortably between a wall and a stranger

as soon as he locked eyes with your quivering ones he speedwalked towards the two of u and pushed the guy away from you

“you should know, ya’ shouldn’t mess with what’s not yours.”

said osamu, bringing you closer to his chest with his left arm wrapped around your waist AAAA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A

the man took the hint and awkwardly walked away as soon as he heard those words

the two of you then made ur way back to the gym, his hand never leaving ur side

well, maybe when you started teasing him

“‘what’s not yours’ ? are you implying that someone owns me, ‘samu-samu ?”

he stopped walking, making you flinch a little at the sudden halt of movement

he cupped your cheeks and gave it a kiss NABEBWJABIAHWIEGWISBJSBFJEBDJHXJSBSJD IM DYING

“you were always mine, got it ?”

atsumu

you've known him since the beginning of high school

and you've always stood out to him !!

you always took his flirting just as a joke

friendly thing to say </3

even though he was being dead serious the whole time

but at the same time he would literally shy away from every opportunity in asking u out

u knew him well and so does he !!

just like osamu, u attended every one of atsumus vball games, cheering him on in his passion !!

honestly he would always do his best to impress u whenever you watch him practice with the inarizaki vbc

heck he would even use 1OO% of his power just !! for u !! to notice !!

whenever he flirts w u the entire team just leaves the two of u alone

bc atsumu has probably spilled about his ever growing crush on u to them

by accident

or maybe osamu was the one to spill the tea

ANYWAYS 

before a match started you visited him on the bench just to check up on him real quick

but someone from the opposite team ran up to you before atsumu noticed your presence

“i’d never thought i’d meet someone so gorgeous like you here, why not you go sit there and cheer for me, yeah?”

meanwhile osamu notices the player go dangerously close to your face, and your eyes plead for help to his own

osamu points it out to his brother and iMMEDIATELY ATSUMU SPIKES A BALL TO THE GUY’S FACE

his aura is TERRIFYING

like do you know that weird yellow smoke thing that shows when the twins did their quick attack

THAT IS WHATS LITERALLY HAPPENING RN

but like you go bby <33

the guy runs back to his own team with a bruised face as tsumu spRINTS TOWARDS YOU

and LITERALLY kisses u JNSJNJKDNJNFFJ

911 i need an emergency my heart stopped beating

“sorry, just had to. i wanted to let ev’rybody know that miss y/n is mine and mine only, ‘kay?”

tsukishima

you, him, and yams have been a trio since elementary school

it was always you three in your own little world

he doesn't remember when he first started to form a crush on you

just like ?? since forever ??

but he's rlly good at hiding his feels sOBS

basically only yamaguchi knows

aND HE ACTUALLY TOLD ALL OF KARASUNO GN

but it's not too hard to figure out he has some sort of feels for you <33

he's a lot nicer to you then he is to most people oops

also is always offering to help you !!

like if your struggling with a class

mans is there to tutor you IM DYING

you don't often go to their games

and if you do it's usually cause yams invited you

bUT ONE DAY

he invited you to a game !!

and you knew it was important if he invited you so you agreed to it <33

you ended up going on the bus with karasuno to get to the arena cause you didn't have a way to get there

and as your loading the bus or wtv ,,

someone from karasuno comes up to you

wayyy too close tho </3

it was clear your uncomfortable with their advances

but they didn't seem to care

and just kEPT FLIRTING WITH YOU

clearly it was getting tsukki pissed gn

yamaguchi was trying to calm him down

it wasn't working SJSJDJ

he ended up basically glaring at the person flirting with you

before walking behind you

and pulling you into a back hug !!

SJSJS WHY CANT THIS BE ME

kinda just looks at the other guy then to you

"is there a problem here babe? this person annoying you?"

THIS GUY IS TERRIFIED

grumpy dino can be v intimidating and this was one of those moments </3

the other guy backs off and ya'll get on the bus

and the only open seats happen to be next to each other for you and tsukki COUGH COUGH

"so, babe huh?"

he just lowkey rolls his eyes and is like

"don't act like you didn't already know, you're mine, okay?"

and the otp of y/n x tsukki came true

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic

[futurewriter2000]

Little Secrets - pt. 2

A/N: I couldn't found a perfect gif. Okay?! But this is the closest I could get. Plus, I really have to go to the bathroom, so this is the quickest gif I could find. I also spent three days writing this because I had about thousands of scenes in my head but I had to write only one. I love it. Hope yall love it too <3

XX

All five of you have been sitting at the table; your father, James, Sirius, you and your mother, who had just brought some tea.

Sirius has been smiling at you. You had been smiling at him but not because you had pleasantly enjoyed his sudden appearance, though he was a quite fit young man, but because it was all so amusing.

"So you have a sister?" Sirius turned his head to James, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes..." James smiled awkwardly. "My younger sister, (Y/N)."

"That you had never mentioned." you grit your teeth a little and raised an eyebrow.

"Why haven't you, son?" asked your father, meanwhile your mother went to get Sirius some warm clothes.

"...it... didn't come in conversation..." James shrugged.

Both you and Sirius let out a laugh, exchanging a familiar look, as if the two of you were old friends already.

"Does anybody in Hogwarts know that you have a sister?" you asked, getting more stiff and angry, though you pretty much knew the answer. "I mean, some purebloods surely have to know." your tone started to get louder, causing James to sink in his chair. "Or was the fact that you have a Squib sister put shame to your popular reputation?" you stood up from your chair, glaring at your brother and seeing his friend stare at you with wide eyes.

You were a Squib?

You ignored his expression and made your way up-stairs, going off to bed. You didn't cry and you didn't yell. You weren't really sad to cry or angry to yell... you were just confused. That's all.

---

A few days passed and you didn't much talk to James. You avoided him, called a few friends and went into town with them. They were all mostly Muggles and you didn't mind that. You kept your secret life separate but you did tell them that your brother was keeping you as some sort of secret from his friends and the only explanation you had was that he was some sort of ashamed of you.

"That's rubbish, Pea."

That's what your friends called you. A nickname from the first day of school all those years ago, there was a little accident with peas at lunch. Everybody called you Pea since then. Everybody except your family.

"Than what other explanation is there?" you started to get frustrated, digging your head into your hands. "I just don't understand!"

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"I did. He's determined to avoid the topic." you drank your coffee and threw yourself back.

"And his friend?" she raised one of her eyebrows.

"Sirius."

"Sirius. What a name..." she started to tease you. "Is he cute?"

"He is." you smiled a bit. "Quite fit."

"Uff! What does he look like?"

"Well, he's tall, a bit shorter than Jamie but he's got a gorgeous face. Like if Aphrodite had a son with Kleopatra, he'd be the product of them."

"Hell, that good looking?" she rolled her eyes, thinking you were being your usual sarcastic self.

But you weren't. He was literally beautiful. "Okay, look. I am not in love with the guy. I just have eyes and my eyes love pretty things. He is one of those pretty things."

"Objectifying now, are we?" she continued to tease.

"You know what I meant."

"What about Alissa?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows and causing you to sink in your chair.

"What about Alissa?" you smiled sheepeshly.

"I saw the way she hugged you in front of school."

"Yeah but I don't know if she's into... you know..."

"Girls?"

"Yes! It's so hard to tell. I mean, she gives me so many signs-"

"There you go. She likes you."

"- but then she also ignores me at times. Like this hot-and-cold energy."

"Oh." your friend frowned at the sight and slumped her shoulders. "How about we go to a party tonight? You and me-"

"And?"

"Some friends." she grinned.

"Whiskey?" you grinned as well, feeling so much lighter at the proposition.

"There has to be whiskey. If not, we're leaving."

"Okay, let me just call mum. Tell her, I'm going to be a tad late." you winked at her and ran to the payphone at the back of the cafe. You spun the number and waited.

Your family loved the phone. Being a wizard, the communication usually fell through the letters but since you lived with one foot in the Muggle world, the discovery of the payphone has made you overly-excited as well as your parents. The communication was much faster and you could always call your home whenever you needed.

"Hello?" there was a foreign voice that only seemed to belong to one person in that house.

"Sirius? Is that you?"

"What kind of sorcery is this?!" he shouted into the phone. "Who is this!?"

"Sirius, it's (Y/N)."

"Oh! James' little secret sister."

"Yeah, that one." you rolled your eyes.

"Are you stuck in there?"

"Where?"

"In this tiny box? Do I have to call your mum to get you out?"

"Sirius, this is a phone."

"Oh! I've heard of those. It's a Muggle thing." he let out a laugh. "Foolish little thing. When you can just write something and poof it to someone's way."

"Well, I can't really poof it, can't I?" you smiled as you heard him gulp on the other side.

"Uh... sorry... I forgot."

"It's fine." you giggled, letting him know you are not offended from his reckless words. "Can you get mum anyway?"

"Why?"

"Because I have to tell her I'm going to come home late today."

"Oh." you could see him leaning on the wall and smirking at the idea. "Where are you off to?"

"Only a friend's house.

"A-ha." he doubted. "Friend's house." he continued to speak in a mocking tone. "Am I-"

"Oh, you've discovered the phone." you heard James in the background, laughing. "Who is it?"

"This thing is magnificent, Prongs. I can talk to her like she's here, though she's not in this tiny little box.... is she?" he whispered the last part, covering the phone.

"It's (y/n)? Is she still mad at me?" he leaned on the phone. "Stop being such a stubborn little arse and get over it!" he shouted, meanwhile you rolled your eyes.

"She says she's staying at a friend's house?" said Sirius.

"No, she's not." James laughed. "Her friend, Mandy, lives with her uncle who doesn't approve of (y/n) what-so-ever. She's going to a party."

"Am not!" you shouted through the phone, clearly lying. "I'm not going to Mandy's... I'm going to Zoe's."

"Zoe? I thought she goes to Greece during the summer."

"She's staying this summer. Broke a leg."

"Broke a leg my arse!" James shouted.

"Can we come too?" you heard Sirius through the phone.

"Maybe next time. I don't think I can manage James' face without punching it yet." you shrugged.

"Can I come then?"

"Oi! Don't be a prick."

"What?! It's a party!"

"Just tell mum I'm coming home late and that-" and with that the call got cut. You looked at it with surprise and then just shrugged. "They got the message."

---

You had come home, not drunk, not tipsy... just a little dazed. You wished you were wasted but a memory of you not being able to walk a few years ago due to some heavy home-made Scottish Whiskey, you had decided that getting wasted wasn't worth it.

You put your shoes away carefully and quietly before going to the kitchen. A simple walk home sobered you up. You could walk normally, feel lighter on your feet but wanting to collapse into your bed as soon as possible. Though you were starving, so the fridge was the first stop. Toast, mayo, baloney and cheese.

"Mmmmmm." you rolled your eyes back from the delicious flavor in your mouth, almost melting as it filled your stomach. When your eyes rolled back to the sandwich you felt like you saw a spark of light from the corner of your eye. You glanced back up and saw a familiar figure standing on the porch.

He was leaning over the fence, mind deep in thought, eyes far in the distance. Brushing your hands on your pants, you opened the door from the porch and peeked out.

"Peek a boo." you said casually but he didn't budge, only turned back calmly.

He gave you a soft smile and moved a little to give you space. "How was the party?" he said as he flickered the cigarette away, shutting up the grasshoppers.

"Eh." you shrugged, mimicking his position. "Wasn't really a party, more like a friendly gathering."

"Bummer."

"Not really." you laughed. "There were all these random people, Muggles as you call them and I knew three or four of them. People kept leaving and coming, random people that I know from school but never really hung out with them, you know?" you looked at him and he smiled, listening on. "And I did talk and flirt with this guy, who kept coming onto me but all the time I kept observing others and by the end of the night, when I came home, there was only one person on my mind and it wasn't that guy- that random, thought quite charming and nice guy- but it was this girl from school with pretty bluish-greenish-brownish eyes."

"All three colours?" he laughed.

"They change colour a lot, okay?" you laughed. "But it's not even the colour, more like the way she looks at me- like she's in love with me but I don't know if she's in love with me because one day she's all for it and another moment she's ignoring me. It's so frustrating."

"So you like girls?"

"More or so. I don't mind guys either."

"Which one do you prefer?" he asked from curiosity.

Though it wasn't one of your favorite questions to hear, you still replied casually. "It's not the matter of preference, more like the matter of which I fall in love with. Guys are simple. They think simple and there's no secret meaning behind their words. You know when they want to snog you or shag you or when they want something serious or not serious. Simple."

"And girls are not simple?" he laughed.

"Oh, girls are so complicated!" you groaned. "Not all of them of course. Not me." you laughed and he chuckled as well.

"Not you?"

"No. I don't like to complicate things just because of how my last girl did."

"Your ex?"

"Not really an ex. It was an odd situation but listen up to this." you started to get more comfortable. "She and me have been writing to each other- she was a tough nut to crack to be honest. I was breaking the ice with that girl for like a year and a half. She was hot and cold with me. I never knew what she meant. One day she was giving me hints she was into me, another times she was completely ignoring me."

"Is this the same girl you talked about before?"

"No-" you stopped, thinking back a little. "Though it is a similar situation, isn't it?" you asked him, meanwhile he laughed.

"I think so."

"Hm... I'll get back to that thought." you pinned the realisation down and continued with the story. "Okay, so she was finally starting to open up to me- also she was tall and dark and gorgeous green eyes, super hot- I can't leave that out."

"No, you can't."

"She was getting to open up, telling me stuff about her family, her friends, which classmates she hated and I was getting excited because LOOKIE THAT! SHE MIGHT TAKE A FANCY IN ME." you said over-excitedly, throwing your hands in the air before your face and your hands fell back down. "And then I see her hugging a boy in the hall and suddenly they're both dating."

"Oh, bummer!" He laughed. "She was straight."

"Oh, hell no." you laughed. "That girl was definitely not straight but her parents were, so-"

"Oh, makes sense."

"Perfectly good sense. She's studying to become a lawyer."

"A lawyer?"

"Yes, a lawyer."

"Bet her parents are happy."

"Over the moon, I suppose."

"And you?"

"Eh. I moved on from her a long time ago. To be honest, I just liked the chase." you let out another laugh and he rolled his eyes.

"Really?"

"I always love a little chase or runner dynamic."

"So you're the chaser?"

"Or the runner, depends which one I'm feeling. Today was more like a runner but when I play the runner, they really give up easily, you know?"

"I actually do know." he shook his head a bit, pulled out another cigarette and lit it up. "Does James know?"

"He does but not about... you know... them. He just knows about it."

"What do you mean?" he started to laugh again. You were funny. He liked funny girls and from the way you reacted to James' little secret, he thought you'd be just like the others but you were so simple and funny with a tad of mystery in your eyes.

"He only knows bits of it."

"Bits of it?" he quirked an eyebrow. "I thought the two of you tell each other everything."

"Clearly not." you rolled your eyes and dropped your head back. "I'm a secret."

"A pretty secret." he blurted out before he could help himself. Noticing what he had said as he had watched you drop your head back, your hair flowing in mid air and your eyes focused on the distance, he really couldn't keep it in. James kept you a secret. A pretty little secret and he never understood why. He had known him for so long and he hadn't mentioned you once in all those years. Did Peter know? Or Remus? Or did really nobody know that James Potter really had a younger sister, who had no magical abilities.

"You think I'm pretty?" you smirked, quirking an eyebrow yourself.

He let out an embarrassed laugh and looked away just before his eyes locked with yours again, the blue that is bright in the day, now dark, almost black in the night. "I have eyes, (y/n). It's just a mere observation."

"Oh." you laughed as well, jumping down from the fence and putting your hand on his shoulder. "Than as a mere observation, I can say that you are extremely hot." you put your hand on his cheek and tapped it a few times just before you made your way to your bed. "Goodnight, Sirius Black."

He watched you walk away with his cheeks burning red. Bold, daunting- you were. Similar in a way with how James acted but he had to admit that you seemed quite more of an adventure than James. It sounded ignorant to say that. You were new, something hidden, now on the surface where he can marvel at you. He felt just a little bit more excited than the day he met James. Such a thrill, knowing that he has all the summer getting to spend with you.

[novelconcepts]

fic: unexpected

a fill for @karatam’s prompt : “Five things Dani realizes she likes in bed (and one thing Jamie realizes she likes about being with Dani).”

It comes as little surprise to Dani Clayton, who has spent most of her life trying not to pay attention to the things her body craves, that time with Jamie has been unlocking some unexpected doors. It’s embarrassing, sometimes, but not in a way that feels too heavy to bear; the more time she spends with Jamie, the more time she spends feeling progressively better in her own skin, the more she’s bound to understand about what makes her tick. It’s kind of nice, actually. Kind of refreshing, finding situations where she doesn’t feel inclined to hold herself rigid, where she can let her guard down and just exhale. 

Still, there are some experiences which--until they sneak up on her--she absolutely does not see coming.

1

There is a rule in their house about cleanliness. Not because Jamie is a terrible mess, by any stretch of the imagination, but because a small space gets out of control fast. Especially given how much time Jamie spends with both hands buried in potting soil, Dani feels it’s important to set some ground rules. Things like “shoes stay on the plastic tray if you’ve been out gardening.” Things like “clothes caked in dirt go straight into the special hamper to get washed first.”

Things like “if you’re going to initiate anything requiring hands on bare skin, you scrub up first.”

Jamie takes it in stride, agrees wholeheartedly that this is the only safe and hygienic approach to life. She kicks off her boots, drops any mud-encrusted flannel in the proper receptacle, and works the grime out from under short nails without pressure. 

“I’d do this without the rule,” she tells Dani the first time after this conversation, eyebrows arched. “How filthy d’you think I am, anyway?”

Dani chooses not to dignify this with a response. It’s still early-days, all things considered, and Jamie poking her tongue through her teeth on a word like filthy sends her brain places that aren’t conducive to getting anything done.

Still, there are things that test her carefully-imposed boundaries. Not so much the gardening; gardening and Jamie are a singular entity, a packaged deal Dani was wholly aware of long before falling into the woman’s bed. She sees flowers and root webs and clods of dirt packed into pots and thinks, Yes. That’s Jamie. 

It’s the fixing she wasn’t prepared for.

There are things she is better at than Jamie around the house: remembering to pick up groceries, basic human chores like laundry and vacuuming and taking out the trash. And there are the things Jamie has an edge on: hot drinks, building furniture, and repairing just about anything that slips sideways. 

“Grew up without a lot to lean on,” she explains while Dani, feeling a little light-headed in a way she can’t fully explain, watches her replace a questionable light fixture. Her hands are nimble and steady, her eyes on the job at hand, but she’s smiling. “You pick up a lot of convenient tricks along the way, life like that.”

Dani, who grew up in a household marked by her mother having “a guy”--usually neighborhood men with bad facial hair who scrubbed her around the head and called her “little lady”--for just about every little hiccup, can only watch with fascination. Jamie, it seems, has a sixth sense for problems. By the end of their first year together, she’s fixed the bathroom sink, the AC unit, innumerable lightbulbs, and the vacuum cleaner. Never once batting an eye. Just a simple smile and a “give it here, then.”

Dani, for her part, tells herself she’s watching closely to learn. To pick up these convenient tricks Jamie mentions like they’re nothing. To be able to one day make similar repairs while Jamie is busy or out of the house.

She tells herself this, even as her skin grows warm and her mouth goes dry, because there is just something about watching Jamie work. Something she can’t put her finger on about the way Jamie tips her head musingly, inspecting every inch of the problem area like her attention belongs nowhere else. She moves methodically, deliberately, never frustrated, never slamming or swearing. Her hands squeeze and slide, her brow furrowed, and Dani...

Likes this. 

She keeps it to herself, careful not to distract Jamie from the task at hand, even as her own face flushes at the sight of Jamie working a screwdriver or sifting through a set of drill bits. It’s stupid, she thinks with a hot thread of embarrassment, that her legs are weakening at the mere image of Jamie on her back on the bathroom tile, knees bent, arms working to seal some hidden leak in the piping. 

“You want to try?” Jamie asks, head and shoulders in the cabinet below the sink. Dani clears her throat. 

“No, thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” Jamie says absently, the muscles of her stomach flexing as she arches for that little extra strength to finish up. Dani leans her forehead against the wall, struggling to find some measure of calm before Jamie can extricate herself and catch sight of the look on her face. 

She manages to keep it quiet for months, this strange heat that springs up whenever Jamie’s hands are greasy and her face has that serious cast of inspecting a complicated problem. She might have kept it quiet for months longer--indefinitely, perhaps--if not for Colorado. 

Colorado is, like so many of their trips, a spur-of-the-moment decision. They rent a battered Jeep from a questionable agency, intent on seeing the Rockies as man was always intended: hopped up on a decent amount of bad gas station coffee, a pack of cigarettes, and each other. It’s a good day, cheery sun beaming down from a sky scattered with soft clouds. Dani has been having more and more of these kinds of days, and is starting to think maybe this is the new normal. Less fear. Less tension. Just her hand in Jamie’s as they bump over an endless road in the middle of--

“No,” Jamie says in a low, frustrated tone. Dani, who has been gazing distantly out the passenger window, snaps back to reality. 

“What’s going on?”

The Jeep is slowing. Jamie steers it toward the side of the road, which is to Dani’s eyes the most abandoned place on earth. 

“Something’s off,” Jamie groans. “Engine light came on.”

Engine light came on is one of those phrases Dani intellectually understands is in English, but it might as well not be. She’s grateful for how much Jamie enjoys driving; cars are something of a mystery to her, loud, rattling machines she’d prefer not to ever deal with on her own. 

She steps out onto the road now, arms hugged tight around her body, and watches Jamie pop the hood. The day is as warm as it is beautiful, and it isn’t long before sweat is trickling down the back of her neck. Jamie, in jeans and a flannel shirt, rolls the sleeves up past her elbows and grimaces. 

“Gonna be a minute, I think. But maybe...”

She’s muttering words Dani wouldn’t understand even if she thought Jamie was speaking to her and not a busted set of gears and pistons. Jamie, thankfully, seems to know what she’s talking about as she pushes the hair out of her eyes, ties a bandana around her head, and sets to work. 

She’ll fix it, Dani assures herself, rocking back and forth on her heels in the sunshine. Jamie fixes everything. 

And, in the meantime, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with the view. The horizon is endless, the land green and gorgeous and sprawling out as far as she can process. Dani could stand here for hours, head tilted back to take it all in, letting the clean air bathe her face. 

She could also, she notes, eyes sliding back to Jamie, watch this for hours. Jamie, up on her toes, an emergency set of tools open on the ground. Jamie, sweat beading on her upper lip and trickling down her temples. Jamie, pink-cheeked, the muscles of her forearms from years of groundswork standing out in sharp relief as she jams a wrench beneath the hood and twists.

It is...very hot out here, Dani thinks dazedly. She snaps her eyes away, searching the sky for birds, searching the world for anything that could be more interesting than the sight of Jamie with grease halfway up to her elbows, a dip of skin tantalizing between her shirt riding up and the waistband of her jeans. 

Dani swallows hard. Tries to remember that they are, in fact, currently stranded on the side of a road in Colorado. Tries to remember that they are, in fact, not in a situation that should be excruciatingly appealing. 

Jamie makes a low noise in her chest, pulling hard on the wrench. Something in Dani, already strung tight enough to make her pulse race, seems to snap. 

“Hey,” Jamie protests as the tool drops from her hand and clatters against the pavement. Dani has her around the wrist, dragging her with firm intent away from the open hood. “Hey, Poppins, I don’t think--”

Dani, unable to stop herself, catches her around the back of the neck and kisses her hard. Jamie’s protests go slack against her lips, her hands windmilling uselessly as she tries and fails to locate somewhere safe to place them. 

“I--Dani, what--”

“Can’t explain,” Dani says, muffled, mouth a bit occupied with trying to kiss Jamie stupid. “Just. Need this.”

“Right now?” Jamie asks, plainly bewildered--though, Dani notes, not exactly arguing. Her hands rest gently on Dani’s hips, as though the desire to hang on and the desire not to ruin Dani’s skirt are locked in fervent battle. 

“Right,” Dani groans, licking at the sweat running down the side of Jamie’s neck, “now.”

She fumbles them toward the backseat, pausing every couple of steps to push Jamie hard against the car. There’s something about it--something about the sun beating down, and her hand caught between the hard shell of the Jeep and the soft skin at Jamie’s back, and the way Jamie is making surprised breathy sounds against her ear. Something, most of all, about Jamie trying so hard not to get her dirty while being utterly unable to keep her hands to herself. 

“There’s a rule,” Jamie says, like she’s reciting a play she couldn’t possibly care less about. “Your rule.”

Dani, pulling the back door open and sliding along the gray leather, shakes her head. “House rule. Don't care.”

Jamie’s laughing, but there's something nervous about it, something like she sort of expects to get into trouble for this. “Poppins, you are...something else today.”

Dani pauses, leaning back on her elbows, watching with dark desire as Jamie climbs in after her. The door latches with a soft click, Jamie hovering on her knees over her in the small space. 

“Something okay?” Dani asks, her voice smaller than intended. Jamie grins. 

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

Dani grabs for her again, unable to pin down the roaring pleasure in her chest as Jamie’s smile lands against her skin. Her hands are wild, roaming creatures with their own agenda, sliding under Jamie’s collar, fisting around Jamie’s shirt. When Jamie kisses the hollow of her throat, she sighs, arches, liking the weight of Jamie between her bent knees. 

There is a rule about dirty hands, it’s true, and they both know it’s for a reason--which is why, eyes on Dani’s face the whole time, Jamie grasps her by the hips and lifts, shifts, eases Dani until her back is pressed against the window. Jamie hooks her fingers into the waistband of underwear already too ruined to be of use, sliding them down Dani’s thighs, shoving them restlessly into the back pocket of her own jeans. 

“Jesus,” she breathes against Dani’s skin, already soaked through with sweat and want. “This much from--”

“Watching,” Dani groans confirmation. One hand is gripping the back of the seat, her knuckles stark against the dark leather. Jamie makes a noise she thinks might be amusement, or utter helpless desire--maybe some mad combination of the two. 

“Didn’t know you had a thing for--”

“Jamie,” Dani interrupts, a sharp plea that snaps Jamie’s attention back where it belongs. They can talk about this later, Jamie teasing her for an unexpected mechanic kink, Dani hiding her face and laughing. Right now, she can focus on nothing but Jamie’s hands, creased with engine oil, gripping her thighs. Sliding smooth down to bracket her kneecaps, up to hold her hips steady. Jamie, mouthing at her slowly, trying to make it last, teasing her with soft flicks of her tongue and warm, soft kisses. 

“Jamie,” Dani repeats, her voice cracking, her free hand winding in Jamie’s hair and pulling. Jamie concedes, head bobbing gently between her legs, body coiled in a position that will probably feel fantastic tomorrow--but, if she cares, she certainly doesn’t show it. Her fingers dig into Dani’s skin, leaving dark stains behind, her mouth drawing Dani tighter by the second. 

Sex with Jamie has never been what Dani would call boring, but something about the sight of her here--eyes closed, breathing hard, fingers pushing Dani’s skirt up as she strains to keep from putting those hands directly between Dani’s legs--has an effect they’ve never quite managed before. Dani, biting hard into the back of her own hand as her hips jerk out of control. Jamie, making the most of the moment, kissing her clean with long, sweet strokes. 

“Jesus,” Jamie says again, sitting up and staring at her. “If I’d known--”

“You’d never have finished a repair around the house,” Dani points out, breathing hard, head lolling back against the glass with a light thump. 

“You’ve been feeling this at the house?” Jamie looks stunned. “Poppins, you’ve been wanting this for months, and you’ve just been letting me fix things instead of taking you to bed? Where the hell are your priorities?”

“Didn’t want to distract you,” Dani mumbles, the drowsy delight of a good orgasm wrapping comforting hands around her good sense. Jamie’s jaw hangs open.

“Poppins.”

“Mm?”

“Distract me. For the love of god. Distract me.”

2

Dani doesn’t go back to teaching. It’s not that she doesn’t love it, not that she doesn’t know she’d still be good at it; it’s more that the world is too unpredictable now. That she is too unpredictable now, unable to tell what tomorrow will look like inside her own head. She’s been feeling better, admittedly--Jamie has a way of making the ground stand still under their feet, of leading her by the hand into warmly-lit places where she feels less like there’s something following at her heels--but it’s not the same. Even before the Lady, before Bly, before fleeing to Europe in the first place, teaching had been heavier than school had prepared her for. So many kids, with so many expectations, so many needs one person couldn’t possibly fulfill. 

So, no--she doesn’t go back to teaching. Teaching feels like the old Dani in some terribly sad way she can’t define. The new Dani turns her attention toward a different kind of cultivation, toward learning how to make people happy with the art of living things. It’s a creative outlet she hadn’t realized she needs. It brings her closer to Jamie, gives her a better understanding of Jamie’s way of seeing the world. It’s different, but she does love it. 

It does not, for all of that, erase old habits. 

She doesn’t really realize she’s doing it, at first. Some things are just so naturally ingrained, so much a part of her daily experience, that she doesn’t think about what she’s saying. 

Until Jamie just stops and...looks at her. 

“What?” Self-consciousness, not a particularly new song, hums under the word. Jamie is gazing at her with head slightly cocked, lip between her teeth. 

“Nothing. Nothing, just...”

Dani reels back the last five minutes, searching for whatever might have put this truly unfamiliar look on Jamie’s face. It’s not teasing, exactly; not bothered, either. It’s...pleased?

Jamie had just passed her with a basket under her arm, laundry rescued from the dryer and folded before Dani had even realized they were ready. She had turned, watched Jamie amble by with a spring in her step that said I have done the thing, and the thing is good, and she had said...

“Oh.” She can actually feel the color draining from her face. “I just, uh. I mean. Habit.”

Jamie grins, still looking a little surprised, but not exactly upset. “No, no, it’s fine, Poppins. Got no argument with being a good girl now and then.”

She winks, throwing an exaggerated little swing into her walk as she makes off toward the bedroom, and Dani sags against the couch. Has she done this before? Has she been absently calling Jamie a good girl upon the completion of  little tasks this whole time, and only just realized?

It is a very particular kind of embarrassing, and Dani does not have the first idea what to do with it. 

“Have I been doing that?” she asks over dinner, picking awkwardly at her pasta and studiously not looking Jamie in the eye. Jamie, midway through pouring a glass of wine, pauses. 

“Doing what?”

“Calling--uh--I mean--”

“Praising me for my efforts about the house?” Jamie is too pleased about this, Dani has decided. Entirely too pleased for her own good. 

“Hey, I can take it back,” she mutters. Jamie snorts, setting a full glass beside Dani’s place and kissing the top of her head. 

“Uh uh. I’ve earned my gold stars, Poppins. Pry ‘em from my cold dead hands.”

Dani downs half the glass in a single swallow, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. Jamie is really laughing now, the full-body laugh she reserves for poking fun at Dani with absolute affection. 

“Oh, don't be like that. It’s sweet. Can’t say anyone’s had nice words of the like for me much before you.”

Dani looks up to find Jamie leaning across the table, her expression heartbreakingly earnest. The tension melts slowly out of her body; she realizes she’s made a fist under the table, her thumb tucked into her fingers. Old habits, indeed. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about things like that,” Jamie says, her voice softening. Her hand slides under the table to close over Dani’s flexing fingers, like she knows what Dani was just doing, that Dani was just sliding back to anxieties she’s long tried to bury. “I take no offense at being called good at anything where you’re concerned, Dani. Trust me.”

She does, very much, but even so, she tries to keep a handle on it. Isn’t it condescending, she wonders, speaking to Jamie that way? Why on earth would Jamie appreciate a pat on the head, a gentle assertion of good work?

She gets it under control. Reminds herself she is not a teacher anymore, and Jamie is very appropriately an adult who doesn’t need to be confirmed in her choices at every turn. 

She gets it under control--until one night. One night, spent celebrating an exceptional year at the shop, with too much wine in her system and too many hours spent in a too-public setting to be allowed to touch Jamie properly. They’d sat at a table with a few well-meaning shopkeepers from down the street, and they’d laughed, and drank to hard work and good fortune, and all the while, she’d been watching Jamie out of the corner of her eye. Jamie, shirt unbuttoned at the collar, hair mussed from hands Dani understood as wanting to be on her body, sifting through her hair. Jamie, chain-smoking cigarettes Dani ached to take from her and place between her own lips, if only to taste Jamie. 

By the time they make it home, her hands are tingling, her body desperate. Jamie, watching her with the smug smile of a woman who knows Dani’s hand has been flexing between her own knees for two hours, makes a show of stretching. Her shirt pulls up from her belt, flashing a glimpse of stomach. 

“Bit tired,” she says. “What do you think, time for bed?”

Dani makes a powerfully undignified noise, and Jamie’s laughter rings bright in the otherwise-silent apartment. She catches Dani by the hand, eyes shining. 

“Honestly, Poppins, you are too damn easy.”

They fall into bed--into couch, really, the bed being far too many steps away--and the world shrinks to the polished buttons of Jamie’s shirt popping open under her tripping fingers, the material of Jamie’s slacks shoved awkwardly down her legs, the trace of Jamie’s tongue around her earlobe as she tries desperately to focus on intricate details like zippers. Jamie, bless and damn her, never seems this clumsy, even with all the wine in the world in her blood. 

“I like it,” Jamie breathes, grinning. “You only get clumsy when you’re desperate.”

She climbs over Dani, curling behind her to better get at the zip on her dress. Dani leans back, dizzy with the rush of Jamie pressed against her back, grinding her hips slowly as if to intentionally drive Dani up the wall. The dress peels away, and Dani hears herself swear. 

“Could you go any slower.”

“Could if I tried,” Jamie murmurs, nipping at her neck. “Why? Don’t like it?”

She splays a hand beneath Dani’s breasts, pressing in tight against her back, rocking against her with little sign of picking up the pace and putting those hands where they’re most wanted. Dani groans, lets her head fall back against Jamie’s shoulder. 

“You,” she says without thinking, “are being a bad girl tonight.”

Jamie freezes. Dani, head buzzing with the aggravation of Jamie playing her little game, Jamie’s fingers toying across her belly, doesn’t hear herself. Not at first. Not until Jamie says in a voice almost like a growl, “That so?”

Oh, Dani thinks. Oh no. I did it again. 

“Tell me, please,” Jamie goes on, hand slinking lower, “how I can get back into your good graces.”

It should be weird. It should be so uncomfortable, slamming the brakes on this whole evening--but Jamie’s hand is on a mission, Jamie’s hips rocking against her faster, and Dani finds she doesn’t care nearly as much as she should. 

“You--know--”

“Tell me anyway.” Jamie’s hand is circling, refusing to continue its descent, and Dani almost wants to laugh. This is insane. This is insane, and stupid, and if she doesn’t get Jamie to keep going, she might just kill her. 

She turns her head, finds Jamie looking at her with pupils blown and lips parted. She reaches back, grabs Jamie by the jaw. 

“Touch me,” she says, her voice firmer than it’s been in a long time. “Now.”

Jamie’s eyes roll back in her head, her fingers dipping between Dani’s legs with obedient speed. Dani sighs, moving to meet her strokes. 

“More,” she hears herself say in that same commanding voice, and Jamie shudders. “Harder.”

She’s never done this before; it’s never crossed her mind to tell Jamie what to do, how to touch her, what she needs. Jamie is intuitive, naturally taking the lead on nights like these, and she’s damn good at it--but this feels incredible in an entirely new way. Her hand slides down to join Jamie’s, curling around Jamie’s fingers as they slide in and out in a series of increasingly rough thrusts. She finds herself arching back, Jamie’s hips bucking as she strains for friction of her own, and when Jamie curls her fingers deep, she curls with her. 

“Fuck,” Jamie groans, shifting her hand out from between Dani’s legs and replacing it instantly between her own. Dani rolls, pushing her flat against the cushions, grabbing hold of Jamie’s wrist and stilling her fingers. 

“That,” she breathes, lips brushing Jamie’s softly enough to burn, “was very good work. Gold star.”

Jamie whimpers, letting her hand drop away so Dani can return the favor. It doesn’t take long at all; Jamie’s pretty far gone even before Dani brushes against her with a hand that no longer feels clumsy. 

“That,” Jamie says when they’ve collapsed in a sweat-slick mess of limbs, “was new. Teacher voice always just sort of on tap, huh?”

Dani resists the suddenly-overwhelming urge to hide her face. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Don’t much care,” Jamie says, rather happily. “It works for me, as it turns out. I am gonna line these gold stars up on the fridge.”

3

There is something engrossing about being wanted, something Dani never really understood before Jamie. Being wanted before wasn’t exactly a positive sensation; men looking her up and down in malls and bars, eyes like brands on her skin, made her feel like crawling under a table. Women, on the rare occasion she crossed one who met her eyes, were somehow even worse--their smiles were thin, brittle reminders that Dani wasn’t Normal. That, if she ever were to jump from that ledge, these women wouldn’t be there to catch her. Their want was an ice bath, a horrible reminder that there was something wrong with her ability to be wanted. 

And, with Edmund, it was worst of all, because she wanted to want it. Wanted to want the way his eyes started following her out of rooms before they were even in their teens. Wanted to want the way his hands would reach for her as they grew older, as his body began sending signals that she was right, and hers developed an alarm bell that only ever screamed stop, please, go away. 

She should have listened to that alarm bell sooner, probably, but Edmund--for all the horrible suffocating sense of him draped over her life--was also a shield against the rest. With Edmund’s arm around her, she felt caged, but strange men let their eyes slide off her like rain. With Edmund kissing her cheek, she felt wrong, but strange men stopped trying to brush up against her skin. 

The line, however, she had to draw somewhere, and she drew it at marks. Eddie accepted her unwillingness to climb into his bed as classic “good girl” behavior; Danielle, he thought with ease of understanding, wanted to wait until they were married. Sure, fine, good. His mother would approve, and hers would leave them both un-defenestrated by their wedding day. Perfect for everyone.

Still, he wanted to touch her. Wanted to press his lips to her skin. Wanted to make sure she--and anyone else who chanced a look--knew he was always there, etched into her. 

She hated it. Hated the way he’d lean back after leaving a hickey hot on her neck, looking faux-apologetic and more than a little smug. Hated the way, no matter how many times she told him it wasn’t professional for an elementary school teacher to stroll in with love bites, he always seemed to “forget.”

She hated being marked. 

With Edmund.

With Jamie, it’s an entirely different story. 

“Shit,” Jamie sighs. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Dani, shirt slung over the back of a kitchen chair, shifts in Jamie’s lap. There’s something about being able to do this at their own leisure, about Sunday brunch fading into charred bacon and lost-chance waffles as she and Jamie sink into long slow kisses on the other side of the kitchen, that she thinks she’ll never be over. 

Jamie, looking more than a little irritated with herself, is now brushing soft fingertips across Dani’s collarbone. Even that much sends sharp little thrills up her spine. She tips her chin down, tries to see the spot Jamie is pressing against. 

“Left a mark?”

“Yeah.” Jamie sighs again. “Sorry, Poppins, I don’t know my own goddamn--”

Dani laughs. She really doesn’t, is the thing. Jamie, who couldn’t be more unlike Eddie if she tried, genuinely doesn’t ever mean to mark her skin. And it’s not like it happens often. She’s normally pretty good about self-control in ways Dani suspects have to do with a history of punishment and consequence following every action. 

Jamie is grounded. Jamie is restrained. 

Except when Jamie isn’t. And, lately, Jamie has been restrained with her less and less. 

It started the day she told Dani she was in love with her. A thing Jamie had been saying without words for a long time, Dani knew, but it was so good to hear the phrase fall from her lips anyway. So reassuring, to see the nerves in Jamie’s face, the way Jamie’s eyes shone with a desperate need to make Dani understand. 

That day, in the back room of the shop, Jamie had marked her for the first time. Heat still pools in her belly when she thinks of it, even now: how Jamie had shoved her up against the door, hands fevered, mouth a hot wet slide against her throat. Jamie’s touch had felt good; Jamie’s devotion, even better. And something about the sum of it--of being in the shop, where precautions had been taken, but they were still rather public, of Jamie’s nerves still holding the reins, of Jamie’s words still fluttering between them: pretty in love with you, it turns out--had both of them nearly high. By the time they broke apart, giggling and heaving for air, the deed was done. A single red mark, low on Dani’s neck, burning bright for anyone to see.

Jamie had touched it lightly, kissed it gently, face flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean--”

And, somehow, that had been the thing to do it. The thing that sent Dani’s arousal over the edge. Not just Jamie leaving the mark on her skin, but the apology in Jamie’s eyes as she realized. Jamie, never intending to force ownership. Jamie, never striving to show the world she owned Dani’s body. 

Every time since, she’s tried to explain it to Jamie, tried to bring clarity of word to the hot pulse of pleasure she feels. How there’s a wild delight to watching Jamie want her. How Jamie is, as the time passes, getting worse at pretending to be cool about it. 

It isn’t kind, exactly. Isn’t the nice, sweet, orderly thing to do about it. But all the same, Dani finds she’s having trouble not coaxing Jamie along when it’s clear she’s starting to lose control.

She’s taken to loitering in the bathroom while Jamie showers, for example. Most days, it’s innocent; Dani will post up on the counter with a book, or a cup of tea, and they’ll just make small talk through the thin curtain. Jamie will wash quickly, with no sign of needing assistance, and Dani will hand her a towel when the water shuts off. Perfectly fine. Perfectly civil. 

But there are days--usually when the shop has been particularly stressful, when customers have been needy and shipments have been delayed--when Jamie will gesture for her to follow under the spray. Days where Jamie’s nerves are so frazzled, her control over all the tiny little details of owning a business so slim, that she’ll invite Dani to join her. These days, with Jamie loving her under hot water, with Jamie whispering her name into the steam, Dani thinks it is good to be wanted. So good, to be the small bright spot of control in the world for Jamie, who likes understanding how things work, who likes being able to set things right. With her back against the shower wall, Jamie’s mouth sucking sharp hot bites into her shoulder as her fingers stroke and rub between her legs, Dani thinks there’s nothing better than giving Jamie that measure of control. 

She notices it other times, too--usually when the world is bigger than the two of them can stand. When a snowstorm blocks off the whole street, stranding them inside, and the power goes, and it’s just the two of them moving together under a stack of blankets to make their own warmth. When it’s Jamie, fearful of how long it will take to dig them out again, leaving sharp, nervous marks on her breasts only to be dragged back up by the hair to kiss her as her fingers work Dani to orgasm. 

Or when they make the mistake of turning on the news, signs of war and violence and politicians making unacceptable calls about the bodies of their constituents, and the only way to bring Jamie back from the brink of hopelessness is to coax her into shutting it all out. Pinned against the counter with her hands braced, with Jamie biting hard and kissing soft, Dani forgets for a long stretch of matching heartbeats that anyone else exists outside their walls. 

Sometimes, the mark is gone by morning. Sometimes, Jamie ruefully kisses the spot on her throat, the underside of her jaw, her breast, and says, “You really should yank on my hair or something to stop me.” 

Dani can't quite find the words to tell her how much she likes it. How the brief flare of delicious pain, soothed so soon after by Jamie’s tongue, the pad of Jamie’s thumb, Jamie’s soft embarrassment, grounds her in the strangest way. Not because it shows the world anything--she’s good at wearing sweaters that hide the spots nicely, to keep anyone from questioning her “roommate” in the aftermath--but because it shows that Jamie doesn’t need to keep her head when Dani’s around. That, sometimes, the act of giving Jamie full control over their bed and the way their bodies come together, feels as good as the first nervous time Jamie had said she loved her. 

Jamie shows her with every act, every day, that this is love. Jamie in these moments of unrestrained passion is showing her something else. That she’s safe with Dani. That she doesn’t need to hold anything apart from Dani anymore. 

And there is something else to it, as well. Something entirely different. Something about the rare occasion she rolls Jamie onto her back, holds her wrists to the mattress, gazes into Jamie’s eyes in search of permission. Jamie likes to give, in all ways that matter, but sometimes, Dani likes this, too: to give back more than she takes. To grant Jamie not just control, but release. 

On this kind of night, left hand pinning Jamie in place, right hand setting a brisk, rough pace between damp thighs, Dani lowers her mouth to Jamie’s throat. She kisses slow, tasting sweat and that undefined thing that is Jamie alone, and waits for Jamie to chase her hand. Waits for Jamie to writhe beneath her. Waits for the moment where the right twist, the right pressure, sends Jamie over the edge. Then, only then, does she bite down. 

Because Jamie is embarrassed by marking her, but she’s seen the way Jamie looks at the rare mark she receives in the mirror. The way the collar of her t-shirt will slip, revealing a maroon blemish on pale skin. The way Jamie’s eyes grow dark, her body leaning against the counter like she’s suddenly lost all the strength in her knees. 

She really does prefer giving Jamie control, giving Jamie the gift of building a safe space for them both to land. But every so often, it is beyond worth it, to see the look of surprised delight in Jamie’s face when she flips the script. 

4

There are things, though. Things she didn’t know, before Jamie. Things she’d never thought to glance at, before Jamie. 

“I don’t know about this,” she says. Jamie doesn’t look the least bit perturbed. 

“It’s only an idea, Poppins. Can absolutely veto it at any time.”

Dani frowns. “I don’t--I mean, what made you think--”

She’s going about this all wrong. Jamie shakes her head, some of that old shuttered guard dropping into her expression in a way Dani decidedly does not like. 

“I’ve embarrassed you,” Jamie says. “I’m sorry, Dani, I wasn’t trying to--”

“No, It’s just...won’t somebody notice?”

Two women walking into a shop like that. Two women looking around a shop like that, having conversations about what they’d like or like nothing to do with. Somebody is bound to overhear, Dani thinks. Bound to report it down the line, and what then?

They’re in San Francisco, and Dani knows that’s the main reason Jamie’s even talking about this. They’re in San Francisco, have just bought a brownie that, yes, makes her feel more inclined than usual to drop her guard. She’d thought maybe they’d partake of that brownie in the comfort of their hotel room, that she’d follow the buzzing of her body right into the bed with Jamie, and that would be their afternoon spoken for. It had seemed a good idea at the time. 

Jamie, evidently, has other ideas. 

Which is how Dani, with a bit of a body high and the grip of anxiety tight around her throat, finds herself gazing at a Californian sex shop. 

“We do not,” Jamie says, watching her carefully, “and I cannot stress this enough, Poppins, we do not have to go in.”

“There’s...stuff in there.” The brownie is certainly doing its work. Dani swallows hard, searching for words more befitting of the situation. “Toys and things.”

Jamie looks as though she's suddenly trying very hard not to laugh. She seems considerably less high thus far, less inclined to disappear into this sidewalk if only someone were to let go of her arm and allow her to lie down. 

“It’s the brave new frontier,” Jamie says, managing to keep her amusement tamped down in the face of Dani’s wide eyes. “We’re in the 90s now, Dani Clayton. The world is changing.”

“It is,” Dani repeats in a stage whisper that sounds very loud to her own ears, “a sex shop. In California.”

“Bit better stocked than one in England, I’d wager,” Jamie says through a smile that might yet dissolve into giggles. Dani squints at her, trying to stop the street from performing a gentle rotation around her. 

“Whose idea was this again?”

“The brownie,” Jamie says, “was yours, actually. Haven’t tried this, Jamie, that’s what you said. We’re on an adventure, Jamie. I thought a nice spot of grass would do the trick fine enough, but...”

Dani slaps at her shoulder, misses somehow, almost tips over. Jamie catches her around the middle, and there’s a flash--the briefest, there-and-gone flash--of that night. Of Jamie holding her up. Of watching the world spin for a very different reason. 

Life, she thinks with a stab of unease, is very short. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Jamie repeats, a bit bewildered. She adjusts her grip, helping Dani find her feet again so she can let go. California is better than most anywhere else--at least this part of California--but it still isn’t good to give the universe an open shot. 

“We can...” She can’t say it. Isn’t quite that high. “We can--”

“Explore,” Jamie supplies. “See the sights. It’s an adventure, after all.”

And it does feel adventurous. There is a bravery in Dani Clayton she never seems able to predict--the things she’s capable of, the things she even finds she enjoys, tend to come out of left field and catch her unawares. Some of these things have a tendency to work out better than others. 

(Example: kissing Jamie. Truly the best snap decision she’s ever made. Inviting a ghost into her body? Maybe not so high on the list.)

But the sun is bright, and the buzz beneath her skin feels good, and there is no sign of ghosts in California. Just a surprisingly well-lit shop with a clerk who gives them a bored nod and a tiny hand gesture that says, Go on, couldn’t care less what you do, long as you’ve got cash. Dani smiles at him, too wide, and wonders if he’s like them. If he, too, has spent a lifetime unable to show off in the world. 

There isn’t much time to think about it, not with Jamie taking her by the sleeve and guiding her through neatly arranged aisles. There are costumes here that make Dani’s skin go white-hot to imagine trying to be serious wearing. There are items designed to vibrate, items designed to bind wrists, items designed for things she really feels better off not thinking about at all. 

“What d’you think?” Jamie asks at one shelf, eyebrows raised, and Dani thinks she’s joking. Probably joking. Must be joking. 

“Have you--I mean, I’d have no idea how to--”

“You could,” Jamie says in a low voice that sends a shiver down her spine. How Jamie can do this to her without even trying, even after years together, she can’t explain. Jamie isn’t even working at it now; her hands are tucked into her pockets, her head tilted pensively as she considers the array of options laid out before them. She’s barely even looking at Dani. 

“I could,” Dani repeats weakly, “what?”

“Try it out,” Jamie explains. “If you wanted. If you were interested. But that’s not really what I’m suggesting. See...I know how they work. I’ve, uh...I mean, if you’re interested in...that.”

Her voice trails off, her eyes darting to steal a brief glance at Dani’s face, and Dani’s not entirely sure what her face is even doing. Judging by the way Jamie licks her lips, she suspects it isn’t subtle. 

“Interested,” she says in a very small voice, gripping Jamie’s hand with convulsive force. “Yeah. Little bit.”

They don’t try it out in the hotel room; that is, Dani says once the brownie has worn off some, entirely too bold, even for an adventure. They make absolutely certain the package is tucked away in the bottom of the suitcase, as far as possible from prying eyes that never come to call. They don’t even talk about it again until they’re safely home. 

Dani’s suddenly so nervous, it’s like the first time. Like stumbling up to her room with Jamie pressed close behind, every touch the kind of electric she’d thought might take her out before she had a chance to get Jamie’s clothes off. She walks into their apartment, this place they’ve called home for almost four years, and she thinks, I have never been terrified here before. 

Jamie, seeming to sense her mood, sets the bag by the door and pulls her into an embrace. She kisses the side of her head. “Hey. We don’t have to. Can just put it in the closet for a rainy day.”

Dani senses the truth of this statement, that Jamie is perfectly fine pretending they never bought the thing at all. That Jamie would be perfectly fine sliding into bed with her like always, relying on skilled hands and searching tongue, loving Dani with everything she’s got as she has for years. Jamie would be okay with this. Jamie would never push. 

But life is short, and sometimes, a person can surprise herself. 

Jamie switches the lights off. Jamie almost never switches the lights off, not since the first time she ever told Dani she was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen. Still, Dani is relieved. There is something reassuring about Jamie’s willingness to take her hands in the dark, about Jamie’s eagerness to please her binding tight to Jamie’s devotion to keeping her safe. 

“Slow,” she promises Dani, sliding into bed and cradling her face. She is still just Jamie, Dani recognizes, though anxiety is playing tricks on her heart rate. Just Jamie’s hands, soft on her cheeks, brushing her hair back. Just Jamie’s mouth, raining small, light kisses across her face. Waiting for her to decide how far this goes. 

And Dani would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous--if she said the brush of cloth harness around Jamie’s hips and the silicon between her legs wasn’t a surprise, even knowing what to expect. She would be lying, too, if she said it wasn’t a thrill. That Jamie is just laying alongside her in familiar sheets, thumb drawing soft arcs across her cheekbone, down the line of her jaw, tipping her head back so Jamie can kiss her neck. That Jamie is touching her like always, not pushing, not rushing, fingers playing along her skin like she’s the world’s most well-loved instrument. 

Jamie, breathing soft words into every kiss. Jamie, exhaling, “Lead the way, okay? Tell me. Anything you want.”

Dani finds her own hand sliding down, exploring the familiar curve of Jamie’s neck, fingering the chain that rests against her collarbones, drawing down, down, until she’s taking a handful of something not Jamie in the least. Testing its weight against her palm. Curling her fingers loosely. Jamie, though this object is not possessed of skin or nerve endings, sucks a breath in through her teeth anyway. Like Dani taking the time to explore is doing something maybe Jamie herself can’t even explain.

“Okay?” she says, breath warm on Dani’s skin, and Dani nods. She finds her body is searching Jamie’s out, pressing in close, and Jamie’s hand is covering hers. Even as she moves Dani gently to her back, even as her hips are coming to rest against Dani’s, her hand is there. A grounding force, as ever. Guiding in. 

Dani draws a hot breath, knees bent, and Jamie pauses. Moves only when Dani’s eyes open and she nods, one arm around Jamie’s neck, pulling her down to kiss her parted lips. 

“Slow,” she agrees, and Jamie makes a noise she likes more than anything else in the world as she shifts her hips, slides all the way in. The world is dark around them, made up of little more than the careful rock of Jamie’s body against hers, the instinctive way her own legs come up to pull Jamie deeper, the wonderfully small, uncontrolled noise she can hear herself making against Jamie’s shoulder. The method is foreign, but it’s still Jamie’s body behind each thrust, still Jamie’s rhythm making her whimper and clutch at Jamie’s neck. 

They move together, and it’s been four years, four years of learning every inch of how Jamie is capable of moving with her, but Dani finds this is something other. Something perfectly matched. Not better, not a completion she’s never found before--Jamie has never been lacking--but new, anyway. 

She hears her own hitching breaths, hears the fevered, reverent way Jamie says her name over and over, the bed knocking against the wall again and again. Jamie, true to her word, goes slow the whole way, until Dani is biting her own lip against a cry, until Dani is clenching and shuddering under her. 

“Good kind of adventure?” Jamie asks, having carefully extricated herself, stripped off the addition, curled up against Dani’s chest. Dani hums. 

“Thank you.”

Jamie raises her head. “For what?”

Dani mulls it over, her body spent, her mind already on its way to sleep. 

“For,” she says at last, nuzzling closer, “not getting sick of me. Not getting sick of walking with me through the parts I’m not...prepared for.”

She doesn’t say what she means--that, someday, the parts she isn’t prepared for won’t be trying a new toy in bed--and knows she doesn’t have to. Jamie signed on for the whole adventure the day she took Dani’s hand, kissed her knuckles, promised her company for good or for ill. 

There’s a promise like that, Dani thinks blearily as she sinks into sleep. For better or worse. People say that to the person they’re going to...

5

Living in America when you can’t share the love of your life with the world is, sometimes, a lot more frustrating than Dani would have given it credit for before finding Jamie. Back in her old life, walking around with Edmund’s hand possessively wrapped around her waist, she’d felt like no one should want to lean into PDA. It was embarrassing, she felt. Horribly awkward, having someone else’s arm around your shoulders as you tried to fall into step with their much longer legs, or trying to find the right produce at the grocery store with someone insisting you hold their hand. She’d thought it would be a relief, in its own horrible way, not to have that opportunity. 

And then Eddie was gone, and Jamie’s was the hand in the grocery store, the arm hesitating before reaching her shoulders. Now? Dani gets it. Dani gets it, and can’t have it, and it makes her crazy.

She thinks Jamie knows this. Knows Jamie, too, longs for a world where no one would look twice if they curled close together in a movie theater, or lay with Dani’s head pillowed in Jamie’s lap at the park. Jamie wants the constant contact at least as much as Dani does, because tactile environments are where Jamie shines. 

It is, before Jamie ever said the words aloud, how Dani knew for a fact Jamie loves her. 

It is, before Jamie ever admitted as much, how she knew for a fact Jamie has chosen this for good and for all. 

And it is, as time marches on and strangers remain staunchly bigoted, making her crazy not to be able to embrace. 

Jamie feels it, too, she knows, but Jamie has a very particular way of coping with her inability to just behave normally with Dani in social situations. A way that is, in its own way, also driving Dani crazy.

She just keeps getting more and more handsy. 

The thing is, she’s doing it in the most absent-minded way possible, like Dani has watched girls--straight girls, girls who are allowed to cuddle close to other women and touch their hair and play with their jewelry without anyone caring to judge--do her whole life. In ways Dani herself can’t imagine. Jamie will just sidle up behind her, hand brushing her shoulder and falling away again before anyone can question it. She’ll touch two fingers lightly to the soft inner stretch of Dani’s wrist to get her attention at dinner, and by the time Dani’s fully registered it, her hand is gone, flagging down a waiter.

At first, Dani thought she was doing it on purpose. A kind of game to keep them entertained in boring public situations. She’d thought it was another brand of adventure, of Jamie being comfortable in her skin so long, she feels capable of sneaking past strangers. 

Now, after weeks of increasing torment, she thinks Jamie is just doing this. Somehow toeing the line between what is dangerous and what is fraying at Dani’s sanity. 

“How are you doing that?” she asks when Jamie brushes the tips of her fingers just under Dani’s blouse, catching the strip of skin before her jeans begin, though they’ve got seven customers milling around the shop. Jamie looks confused.

“How am I doing what?”

“You’re--” Dani bites down on the words as old Mrs. Morgan, who comes in twice a month for arrangements to present to her daughter-in-law, shuffles up to the counter. Jamie smiles her best customer-service smile, as polished and somehow genuine as anything, and sets to work ringing her up. Dani, free for the moment, leans back with thumbs folded tight into her fists.  

“Sorry,” Jamie says a few minutes later, once more wearing that lightly-perplexed look she gets when Dani points out something of which she has not been conscious. “What’ve I been doing, now?”

“You’ve been...” Dani makes a concerted effort to lower her voice, which seems like a wise idea right until Jamie takes another step and bends her head to hear the next words. She’s right there, barely three inches away, and Dani’s never clenched her fists so hard to keep from grabbing at thin black suspenders. “Touching me. In public.”

“Have I?” Jamie looks genuinely startled. “More than is normal, you mean?”

Dani shakes her head, unable to stomach the difference between what is normal for them and what is normal for women who are not sleeping together. Not in love. Not sharing every inch of a life that deserves to have songs written about it. 

“I’m sorry,” Jamie says. “Honestly, Dani, I didn’t mean--am I making you uncomfortable?”

You’re making me want you, Dani thinks helplessly, in places I absolutely cannot have you. Which is, in its own way, worse. 

“I’ll be more careful,” Jamie assures her, completely missing the point. She reaches as if to touch Dani’s elbow, catches herself, smiles wryly. “A lot more careful.”

Dani wants to tell her that isn't what she wants, isn’t what she’s ever wanted, that there’s only so much time in the world for careful--but that’s the fire talking, the one running through her blood each time Jamie looks up from repotting flowers and gives her a little once-over, a wink. The real world requires careful. The real world requires walking lightly, hands swinging a little apart. 

The real world requires, when Jamie leans over her to recover paper towel from a higher shelf, breasts pressing into Dani’s back, her to keep her goddamned head. 

It requires, when Jamie reaches around her for a drinking fountain in the park, bare skin of her arm pressed flush to Dani’s, her to keep her goddamned self-control in check. 

It requires, when Jamie laughs and bumps close in line at the airport, her fingers brushing the hair behind Dani’s ear to keep it out of her eyes, for Dani to keep her goddamned pulse from skittering into adrenaline overdrive. 

It’s been years, she reminds herself furiously as they settle in on the plane. They’re off to see Owen for the first time in ages, and it’ll be good to get away--there have been feelings she can’t collate inside her head, dreams in black and white she wakes from gasping. A little time away should help bring her back down. 

Back down from worrying over ghosts, anyway. 

Jamie’s wandering hands, on the other hand...

“Jamie,” she hisses, because airplane seats are really not spacious, and though they don’t have a seatmate on the aisle, there’s an elderly couple across the way with a perfect view of Jamie’s hand resting on her knee. Jamie looks down, jumps a little, tucks the offending hand under her own leg. 

“Shit. Don’t know what’s wrong with me...”

Nothing, Dani wants to say, is wrong with you. It’s them. They’re wrong for asking us to hide. They’re wrong for asking me to ever pretend, even for a second, that you’re not the most important person in my life. 

“It’s all right,” she whispers instead, like the pressure of Jamie’s palm sliding off her kneecap hasn’t left scorch marks. She closes her eyes, leans her head back. There’s a long flight ahead for someone already on fire. A long flight, and she thinks with truly feral madness, There’s a bathroom. Small. Cramped. But we could fit, maybe. I could get her in there, maybe. 

She lets the image unspool for a moment: Jamie propped against a tiny airplane sink, muffling filthy sounds against her arm, Dani on her knees before her. No. No, best put that away for now. Even if they weren’t caught, by some insane miracle, they’d just have a bigger problem afterward. A problem labeled we’ve proven we’re willing to test this. 

Dani isn’t, not really. Not if there’s a chance of blowing up their whole life. 

Still, it’s hard to scrub the idea away. Jamie is looking at her with some concern, and it’s fair: Dani’s aware her cheeks are pink, her breath coming in sharp hitches. She forces a smile.

“You all right?” Jamie asks quietly. “Don’t feel sick, do you?”

“Not sick,” Dani says. She presses her lips into a thin line, gaze flicking unintentionally from Jamie’s eyes to her mouth, and understanding breaks slowly across Jamie’s face. 

“Ah.” She looks so smug. Dani wishes that made her want Jamie any less. 

“Don’t tease,” she mutters. “Can’t help it.” She really can’t, either. Jamie’s been there, right there, touching her everywhere for such short bursts, but the shop has been crazy. They’ve been tired. There hasn’t been any real time together in far too long. 

Jamie looks at her, a long look that Dani thinks for a heart-stopping second will end in her simply saying, “Fuck it” and leaning in to kiss Dani on this plane. Can’t, she warns her silently. Can’t do that, Jamie, because if you start, I won’t be able to stop--

“Bit chilly,” Jamie says conversationally to someone over Dani’s head. She turns, catching sight of an airline stewardess just as Jamie adds, “Wouldn’t say no to a blanket, if there’s one handy.”

Oh, she’s made a joke, Dani thinks, staring fixedly at the ceiling. Heaven help me, she’s made a goddamn Owen pun, and they don’t even know. 

The blanket, when it arrives, is thick, made of a somewhat scratchy dark gray material. Jamie spreads it laboriously across her own lap first, then makes a show of looking at Dani. 

“You cold? Only, this is huge, and I’d feel terribly selfish hogging it the whole trip.”

Across the aisle, one of their elderly neighbors nods as though Jamie is the wisest, kindest person she’s ever seen in the wild. Jamie gives a returning nod, says blithely, “Ask for a blanket, flight’s always frigid once we get going.”

She’s pulling the blanket across Dani’s lap now, somehow making it look as though her hands are not sliding up Dani’s thigh in the process. Dani nearly bites her tongue trying not to respond. 

She does believe, with her whole heart, that Jamie did not mean to start this. That Jamie’s wandering hands in public are entirely a thing of habit built at home. Jamie is always touching her at the apartment, always squeezing her arm or stroking her cheek or kissing whatever part of her is within reach. It’s the most natural thing in the world. She certainly hasn’t been putting them at risk on purpose. 

But right now? Right now, on this plane, tucking the blanket carefully around Dani so there’s no way prying eyes can catch a glimpse of what’s going on beneath it?

Jamie is absolutely doing this on purpose. 

“Are you crazy?” she hisses, trying to look as though she isn’t seconds from flying out of her own skin. Jamie is smiling so calmly, so rationally, tucking her hands under the blanket.

“Nope. Just chilly, as I said. Aren't you?”

Dani thinks she’s never been warmer in her entire life, not with Jamie’s rebellious left hand dragging the skirt up over her knees. From an outside perspective, it’s impossible to see; Jamie looks perfectly calm. Even friendly, should anyone catch her eye. She smiles like she doesn’t have Dani’s skirt rucked nearly to her waist.

She smiles like her hand isn’t sliding down the curve of Dani’s thigh now, cresting against the front of cotton underwear. 

“Jamie,” Dani breathes. Jamie leans over on the pretense of trying to glance into the aisle for persons unknown. Her lips graze Dani’s ear. 

“Keep quiet. Just pretend you’re looking out the window.”

Looking out the window, Dani thinks wildly, right. Like nothing’s going on under the noses of their fellow passengers. Like nothing whatsoever is happening under this blessedly-thick blanket, Jamie’s left hand tracing shapes into the apex of her groin. Jamie, with the calmest goddamn smile she’s ever seen, saying, “This is going to be good for us, y’know. Haven’t been out to see the sights in ages. America’s really gotten under my skin...”

How, thinks Dani, fists clenched against her own thighs under the blanket, is she talking? How can she possibly be holding a perfectly sane, perfectly serene conversation with her fingers sliding up, pulling aside the elastic of Dani’s underwear, moving the material aside just enough to press against slick skin. Dani swallows hard enough to hurt. Her own fingers are leaving impressions against her legs, bruises she’d rather be digging into Jamie’s skin. 

“You’ll like it,” Jamie says in a placid, low voice, like her fingers aren’t currently tracing a spot particularly wet and warm. Like Dani’s hips aren’t twitching as she fights the urge to press into Jamie’s hand. Like she doesn’t know Dani’s nails are biting into her own thighs, dragging grooves that will burn later. 

“Jamie.”

“Mm?” Like she doesn’t know. She’s grinning a crooked, cheerful little grin that makes Dani want to kiss her blind. If only they weren’t on a plane, if only there weren’t so many damn people around, she’d be out of this seat and riding Jamie’s lap, paying her back for this, making her squirm--

“You,” Dani says through clenched teeth as Jamie teases with one finger, slowly sliding in and easing right back out again. “You are in so much trouble when we land.”

“Yeah,” Jamie agrees, eyes shining. If anyone bothered to look at her properly, they’d see the hunger etched all over her face, even under the easy smile. “Yeah, reckon I am. But that’s hours off, yet, Poppins. Might as well enjoy the ride.”

Dani moves a hand to grip Jamie’s knee as hard as she can, exhaling through her nose to keep from whimpering as Jamie sets a slow, dangerous pace. 

This, she decides, will certainly be the thing to drive her insane. 

6

She's learned a lot about Dani over the years. A lot of wonderful, invigorating, sexy things about Dani--and a lot of simple ones, too. How much garlic Dani prefers in just about any dish. How good she is at decorating a house so it looks safer than anywhere in the world. How bad she is at pretending not to stare when Jamie walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a mis-buttoned flannel shirt. 

A good relationship, Jamie has determined--all too aware that this is the first and last truly good relationship of her life--is constant education. Learning what your person likes, and doesn’t like, and didn’t think they could ever tell you they liked until the moment arrived. Learning when to keep the lights on, when to hold them in the dark. Learning what moods beg a kiss, which ones require hands wiping away tears, and which ask only for silence. 

She’s been with Dani a long time. Hopes to be with her a lot longer. Decades, if she can trick the universe into granting them that long a reprieve. Years, if she can only steal that much. Any time with Dani is cherished. Any time with Dani is more than either of them expected. 

She’s been with Dani a long time, and there’s a lot she knows now. Where Dani’s ticklish in ways that will derail sex entirely by way of hysterical laughter; where she’s ticklish in less aggressive ways that will, in fact, enhance the experience when Jamie kisses those spots. She knows that Dani likes to relinquish control, because it makes her feel safe in Jamie’s hands, and that she sometimes likes to sneak control back when Jamie isn’t looking, because she likes the way Jamie forgets how to speak when she’s surprised. She knows the way Dani likes her neck kissed, the way Dani likes to be held through a particularly intense orgasm, the way Dani gets the right kind of embarrassed when something unexpectedly obscene comes out of her mouth at just the right moment. 

She knows a lot about Dani, every last detail precious, but she doesn’t know everything. Sometimes, Dani still surprises her.

Like the day she comes home with a sad little plant. 

She doesn’t recognize the look on Dani’s face, and a part of her--the part that’s been waking more and more as Dani jerks restlessly in her sleep, as she carefully averts her eyes from the bathroom mirror, as she gives that old tired not-quite-present smile Jamie remembers so well from their last week at Bly--worries. Dani is still full of surprises, but some of those surprises have teeth. Some, Jamie fears she’s not strong enough to lift from Dani’s shoulders. 

This time, though, the look is less hunted and more...quietly nervous. Jamie is distracted, failing miserably to secure dinner for what feels like the thousandth time in this kitchen, but something about the way Dani is hefting this plant cuts through her focus. 

Dani, rescuing plants off the side of the road. Be still her heart. 

Something about the way Dani glances at her as she takes over at the stove, something about the way Dani brushes past like she’s running on something electric, nearly ruins the surprise. Nearly. Except Jamie is distracted, and there's something green and not entirely lifeless to repair, and Jamie has always been up for getting to the heart of a problem. The roots, she sees without really needing to dig. The roots are...

“Dani,” she hears herself say. “Why’s there a...”

And then Dani is using words like best friend, love of my life, words so big and so wonderful Jamie wonders if she’s really awake right now. And there are other words, scary ones--don’t know how much time we have left--but Dani chases them quickly with the best words Jamie’s ever heard. Words like spend them with you. Words like we’ll know. Words like it’s enough for me, if it’s enough for you. 

Jamie can’t imagine this not being enough. 

She’s half-crying, kissing Dani, half-laughing, wholly effervescent. Dani’s hair is soft under hands that suddenly feel too small, too clumsy, holding on to something so fragile. Dani’s whispering I love you against her lips, and Jamie recognizes some fear in the way she’s pulling Jamie closer. Some fear, and a huge amount of relief, too. 

“Did you think I’d say no?” she teases when the tears dry up enough to let her speak again. Dani, forehead pressed against hers, shakes her head minutely. 

“I don’t think anyone knows what the answer will be. But...no. No, I didn’t.”

“Good,” Jamie says, trying to look like she’s not sniffling. “Think you know me better than that.”

“I know you better than anyone,” Dani says, so honestly, Jamie feels something crack from deep inside. She slides the ring onto her finger to distract from this feeling of being dunked under by some enormous wave, by feelings she truly once thought she’d never have the space for in her body. 

Dinner is decidedly not salvageable by this point, and Jamie finds she isn’t hungry, anyway. She leads Dani to the the couch, curls up close to her, eyes straying back to that sad little potted plant. 

“Tried to grow it, didn’t you?”

“No,” Dani says, with exactly the same inflection she once used at six in the morning in a greenhouse. Jamie laughs. 

There’s an energy between them tonight unlike anything Jamie’s ever felt before. It’s been hinted at over the years--in a bedroom at Bly, in a diner in the Midwest, in the middle of their shop--but never quite so clearly as in this moment. Dani, who has seemed less and less content lately, has an arm around her shoulders, her breath coming easier than it has in weeks. Jamie doesn’t like thinking about that, doesn’t like looking too closely at what might be pulling Dani back down that particular road.

This, she decides. Just this. Just today. The rest can wait. 

Dani has her hand in her lap, is fiddling with the ring like she can't quite believe she had the guts to actually give it to Jamie. Dani is always so much more surprised by her own courage than Jamie has ever been. It was always, she thinks, watching Dani idly twist the gold band back and forth, going to be Dani doing the proposing. Dani, whose relationship with marriage is so complicated. Dani, whose relationship with time is so complicated. 

There’s a lot in the relationship Dani leaves in Jamie’s hands. Repairs around the house, ideas of how the shop could run more smoothly, most nights in the bedroom. There’s a lot Dani doesn’t feel like she needs to grip in tense fists, a lot Dani has never felt the need to control. Jamie’s not sure control is the word she’d choose for herself, either, but there’s a certain natural leadership to her posture in the world. Maybe because, for a time, there was no one but Jamie herself calling the shots. Maybe because she’s used to making hard choices, unable to drop them on anyone else’s shoulders. 

It makes her feel an unexpected kind of strong, that Dani trusts her with so much. 

But this always felt important to leave to Dani. Jamie would have been all right if they never had this conversation; the way she sees it, not much would have changed. Dani is still her most important person, ring or no. She’ll be here as long as Dani will have her, even without vows or witnesses.

But for Dani to have done this--for Dani to have planned it out, kept it a secret when she is absolutely terrible at keeping secrets from Jamie (”I never know,” she says, making a horror into the sweetest thing in the world by virtue of pout alone, “how much time we have, why would I keep anything from you?”), dropped it smoothly on a sunny evening like this--is perfect. It’s small, and it’s private, and it’s the bravest thing in the world. 

“I love you,” Jamie says, because there is no amount of saying it that would feel like enough. Dani smiles until the corners of her eyes crinkle. 

There are things that have surprised her about Dani over the years, and things that may have surprised Dani even more--but the thing Jamie finds most surprising of all comes from this. From the way her whole body relaxes in Dani’s hands. From the way her eyes close and her breath shallows out when Dani’s nearby. She’s never been good at vulnerability, not with anyone, but the minute Dani entered her life, it’s like vulnerability became her life’s mission.

Never consciously. Never with intent. Just...organically, the way cells know to age, the way plants know to seek sunlight. Dani walked into her life with shoulders tight and more love in her heart than she seemed to know what to do with, and suddenly, Jamie wanted only to give. Her time, her affection, anything Dani needed. Anything Dani could ever want. 

It should be exhausting. It should take everything out of her. It should wring her out and leave nothing in its wake. 

Instead, it seems to make her stronger every day. It seems to make her more with everything she gives to Dani: her love, her hope, her reassurances. She gives, and Dani, who could so easily take, gives back, and Jamie thinks, It’s this. It’s the exchange. Not just the caring, but the being taken care of. 

“What’re you thinking?” Dani asks. Jamie winds their fingers together, brings their joined hands to her lips. 

“That I’m lucky. Incredibly, illogically lucky.”

“Should I have--” Dani hesitates. “I don’t know, done it sooner?”

Sand in an hourglass, Jamie thinks. In the end, it’s all sand in an hourglass, and no amount of rushing can change it. 

“It was perfect,” she says, leaning across Dani to kiss her lips. “Truly. Couldn’t ask for better.”

Dani looks like she may be considering pressing--there’s a particular crease she gets between the eyes when self-consciousness is at the wheel, and it breaks Jamie’s heart every time she sees it. Jamie pushes her back against the arm of the couch, dropping with her until they’re laying flush, cupping one hand under Dani’s jaw to kiss her properly. 

“Perfect,” she repeats, brushing her nose against Dani’s, sighing when Dani’s hands move reflexively to slide the strap of her overalls off her shoulder. 

There’s less verbal reassurance from there, considerably more work done via hands and sighs and lips. They’re laughing even as Jamie shifts too far to the left and rolls them both onto the very-solid floor in a half-dressed heap. Dani’s still laughing--half-wild with what Jamie reads as untempered relief--even as Jamie helps her wrestle out of her jacket, even as Jamie is sliding down her body, kissing her way back up again through the impossibly-deep slit in her dress. 

There are times with Dani that feel like the pair of them will burst into flame if they aren’t touching, if they aren’t setting a rhythm together in that very moment. There are times where it’s all hunger, all heat, where Jamie thinks the very act of loving Dani might set her ablaze. And then there are times like this: times where Dani watches her with half-lidded eyes, smiling even as Jamie is undressing her, even as Jamie is coaxing cloth aside and pulling Dani to her mouth. Smiling, sighing, shifting under Jamie like there’s nowhere else in the world she’d rather be. 

Times like this, tasting Dani, grasping blindly for her hand with eyes closed, are secretly Jamie’s favorite. Times like this, feeling Dani move beneath her, tracing Dani’s knuckles with the pad of her thumb, Dani’s voice the only song in the room, are the absolute ideal. It’s only here, in their home, knowing Dani would give anything to keep this safe, that Jamie thinks she’s her absolute best self. 

It’s here--curled on the floor with her back against Dani’s chest, Dani’s hand tossed lightly over her hip, both of them covered with a very badly crocheted blanket Dani picked out at a flea market--that she feels most real. 

“I want this,” Dani says sleepily, words muffled with her mouth pressed against Jamie’s shoulder. “For as long as possible.”

“Sleeping naked on a hardwood floor?” Jamie shifts her face against her bent elbow, grinning. Dani’s arm slides tighter around her middle.

“Holding you. Anywhere.”

“Think that can be arranged,” Jamie says, voice unexpectedly thick with emotion. Dani nuzzles against her shoulder again.

“Promise?”

Something releases in her chest, the duality of Dani now--a Dani who is starting to get scared again, but still brave enough to ask Jamie to marry her--and Dani then--a Dani terrified already, but so brave in asking Jamie to stay--coalescing into one. She inhales, shuddering, pressing back into Dani’s arms as hard as she can. Dani squeezes like she understands, like she knows Jamie needs nothing like she needs to know Dani is the most solid thing in the room. 

This is the thing, Jamie thinks, that surprises her most. Not just being taken care of, but needing it from Dani. Needing to be held, needing to feel the weight of Dani’s body against her own. Needing to be reminded that for all her good humor, all her confidence, all the times Jamie can’t help putting Dani first--Dani’s doing the exact same thing. 

“I’m gonna marry you,” she hears herself say, turning in Dani’s grasp and pressing her face against Dani’s neck. “Someday. Minute it’s even remotely legal.”

Dani makes the most content noise she’s ever heard in her life. “One day at a time,” she says. To Jamie’s ears, it's the purest kind of vow. 

[itsafanficthing]

My Sassenach - Said What? Seeing Who?

Obligatory - I’m not dead just bad at writing. I’m sure this is full of errors, grammar and spelling but.... hey it's an update.

A03 Link

“Geillis, you speak Gaelic right?”

Claire watched as the pen paused and hovered over the paperwork Geillis was filling out.

“Aye,” she said slowly.

“Could you… I don’t know the spelling. What does “Mo khiddle” mean?” Claire was certain she had botched the word and it sounded nothing like how Jamie said it. It was much breathier, but rougher (and about a thousand times sexier) when he said it.

“Mo khiddle?” Geillis repeated with her eyebrows scrunched over her forehead.

“It’s something like that. More... I don’t know… more air in it,” Claire answered, her inflection rising at the end as if it was a question.

“Well,” Geillis paused, “‘Mo’ means ‘My’ and ‘khiddle’ is’na a word.” Geillis looked at her paperwork again starting to fill in the details on her patients file. She bit her lip as she tried to think.

Claire rehearsed the word in her head. Jamie has said it to her several times in the night. A few of those times had been when he was deep asleep and her name was in the mix of the words she didn’t understand.

Claire clicked her pen nervously. Jamie had said that he “thought” he was “falling” in love with her. Not that he “was already in” love with her. In all honesty Claire thought that she was in love with him as well but she had repeatedly told herself that it was much too soon for that and she was probably just infatuated.

“Khreah,” Claire said under her breath. She was trying to get it to sound the same way that Jamie said it and she knew that she was falling short.

“Khreach?” Geillis repeated as the scratching of her pen stopped abruptly.

Claire looked up hopefully, maybe she hadn’t got it as wrong as she thought.

“What does that mean?”

“Absolutely nothin’, Love,” Claire looked downcast as Geillis continued, “but ‘Chridle’ does.”

“That sounds exactly the same to me,” Claire shrugged. “What does it mean?”

“Where did ye hear it?” Geillis asked cautiously.

“Is it something bad?”

“No, not at all, it’s just uhhh it’s quite erm, personal.”

“Personal?” Claire asked in confusion.  

“Aye, ye ken in French ye say ‘j’aime’ when ye like something, ‘j’adore’ when ye love something. But when ye… ye have that feeling about someone, ye truly love someone ye say somethin’ like ‘je suis amoureux’, it’s similar in Gaelic. The word ‘heart’ in a medical sense is ‘Cridhe’, but then when ye want to express to someone, erm, the proverbial heart it changes to ‘Chridle’. So, it would mean ‘My Heart’ but not in the sense of ‘I’m having a heart attack’, but more like… ‘you are my heart’. Does that make sense?”

Claire swallowed a few times before she could respond and nodded weakly.

“More to the point,” Geillis continued in a businesslike fashion, “where did ye hear it?”

“Oh, just… around. A movie, I think.” Claire lied quickly- aiming for nonchalance but missed the mark by a mile as her voice shook and her cheeks flushed red.

“A movie?” Geillis repeated, clearly unconvinced. “Someone said it to ye?” Geillis guessed as her pen slammed down on top of her paperwork. “Jamie said it to ye?” She guessed again, her voice rising an octave.

“He might have mentioned it,” Claire all but whispered, concentrating very heavily on the file in front of her, pretending to be absorbed while also trying to hide her flaming face.

“What did he say!” Geillis demanded, turning her body fully toward Claire.

“Well,” Claire paused, taking a steadying breath. “He said that, and uh… that he wanted to see me again, and uhh…”

“I mean, in what context did he say it,” Geillis interrupted.

“Oh, uh, he said it in his sleep.”

“So he slept over,” Geillis grinned.

“Well, yeah, and uh, he said it another time, when we were… you know… together.”

Geillis almost shrieked with laughter, “In the throws of passion then! What a poet!”

“Shhh!” Claire hissed as one of the Senior Nurses passed them with a disappointed glare.

“Ye have to tell me everything!”

“I just have,” Claire disagreed as she closed her completed patient file and picked up the next.

“Ye’ve barely told me anything at all.” Geillis looked back at her file and started to write hastily. “Don’t walk away from me Beauchamp! I want more details.” Claire shook her head at her friend, smiling, and made her way back to triage.

It made sense, Claire supposed, that Jamie would say something like that. Hadn’t she stayed awake with anxiety for an hour after Jamie had said that he thought he was falling in love with her as he was drifting off? They’d only slept together twice. Granted, she was Jamie’s first, so it would be a fair assumption that he would be confusing the feelings of lust and love, but that didn’t really explain how Claire was feeling. She knew that felt something for him, but to say it was love? Well, it was much, much too soon for that.

It all felt too difficult, too confusing, too much. And she was definitely over thinking things again. Classic Claire. She didn’t need to worry about these things; their relationship was still so new, and all things going well, it would continue to progress. She just needed to be sure that she didn’t screw things up before then.

—

-I’ve cooked dinner and I have to say, I’ve very much outdone myself. What time do you finish work?-

The message came from Jamie as Claire was opening her front door. Her stomach was entering the painful stage of hunger, it had moved beyond rumbling and was starting to feel like it was eating itself.

-I’ve just got home. I’ll have a shower and come by?-

Claire didn’t wait for a response before she was hurriedly trying to get out of her sweaty, dirty scrubs and into the shower.

-See you soon.-

—

They were dating now. It was official. Monogamous dating. It felt like it had been far too long since Claire had been in a proper relationship. She had been on so many single dates that entering a proper relationship felt foreign. At what point did it feel like they weren’t “dating” but they were a “couple”? Wasn’t that supposed to happen over several months? Maybe even a year? So why then, when Claire arrived at Jamie’s apartment and he kissed her quickly before ushering her inside to a steaming plate of delicious smelling food, did it feel like a practised routine she’d been doing her whole life? The only thing about it that had felt even remotely off was the time lapse between Claire leaving her apartment and arriving at Jamie’s. That felt wrong. It felt like she was just supposed to come home to him.

And that was - Fucking - insane.

She had known Jamie for all of a month. His apartment shouldn’t feel more like home to her than hers did. HE shouldn’t feel more like home to her then he did.

But it did and he did.

“Honeymoon phase,” Claire reminded herself. They were in the honeymoon phase where everything was still bright, fresh and new. There would be a turning point where the routine would become mundane, and there would be something about him that would piss her off to no end, but she would be in love with him and so it wouldn’t actually bother her. Like right now, he had a bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth, stuck in his stubble. She had tried to get him to lick, wipe, wash- anything- something to get rid of it, and for reasons unknown to anyone, he consistently missed before giving up and just leaving it there. He wouldn’t let her remove it either. When she reached out to wipe his mouth he dodged out of her way while laughing. “Saving it for later,” he said as he stopped her hands.

Jamie was stubborn. Stubborn about the smallest, stupidest things. Maybe one day Claire would be beyond annoyed by this. But today, she found it endearing. There were probably a thousand things about Jamie that she would find annoying in time, but right now she was looking through rose coloured glasses. And things looked good.

—

They were sitting on the couch together, the tv playing in front of them, though neither one was watching, when Jamie brought up the topic of family.

“I was wondering,” he said before pausing for a moment. “At what point in us being an item,” he exaggerated, “do we introduce each other to our respective families?”

“I don’t have any family,” Claire shot back automatically. It was an emotionless reply that she had given hundreds of times. She waited for the soft pitying voice that everyone gave her. “Poor orphaned Claire.”

“Ye might not, but I do, and I’d like ye to meet them,” Jamie said unperturbed by her abrupt response.

“Them?” Claire had to clear her throat before she continued. She was surprised by  how he had breezed past her rebuttal, though she shouldn’t have been. He never reacted the way she expected. “How many people are we talking about?”

“My sister to start with,” Jamie said. “Her husband and my nephew. Once ye get past that hurdle ye’ll be more than ready to face the rest of the Fraser/McKenzie clan.”

“Clan?” Claire repeated dubiously.

“I can trace back my family for generations, near on- Adam and Eve- ye ken they were Scottish?”

Claire snorted with laughter. “Sure they were.”

“I have a large family, I won’t lie to ye, but I’m really only close with my sister, Jenny and her husband- Ian. Ian was one of my best friends growing up.”

“Bit weird that he married your sister, isn’t it?” Claire asked. She didn’t have any siblings but surely that dynamic wasn’t usual.

Jamie shrugged half heartedly. “When ye see them together, they just make sense. I don’t think that they even had a chance to see it any other way.”

Claire nodded in response, not really sure what to say. Was meeting Jamie’s family really that big of a deal? The same woman that she had mistaken for a potential love interest for Jamie. Laughable now of course, but in the moment- guttering. Did she know that Claire thought that she was the “other woman”? How embarrassing if she did! How close were Jamie and his sister? Would he have told her? Maybe not. They’d only just started seeing each other. Why would they talk about Jamie’s dating life? That wasn’t a sibling conversation! Or was it? Claire had no point of reference.

“What’s wrong? Ye look like yer brain’s going about a thousand miles a second,” Jamie chuckled casually as he squeezed her shoulder in comfort.

“Oh, nothing, just… thoughts… thinking…” Claire trailed off.

“But yer ok to meet Jenny and Ian? It would mean a lot to me.”

“I-uh,” Claire hesitated before asking Jamie what she was thinking. “Are you close with your sister? I mean you said Ian was your best friend growing up. Are you still that close?”

“Aye, I think so,” Jamie said through a stretch. “They probably ken the most about me than anyone I know.”

Claire nodded in response, that’s what she was worried about.

“They, um, they know about us? Dating?”

Jamie nodded, “Aye.”

Claire tried to unsuccessfully swallow the lump that had somehow lodged itself quite firmly in her throat. She hadn’t met someone’s family since… well since Geillis she supposed. Nothing ever really lasted long enough or was serious enough to warrant meeting the family.

“I can feel ye trembling, mo nighean donn,” Jamie laughed lightly. “If ye’re no’ ready that’s ok. Just have a think about it.”

“I’m not trembling,” Claire retorted. “It’s just been a while since I’ve met someone’s family. I’m not really sure… what… what it entails.”

“Oh, the usual. I imagine some sort of arm wrestling, they’ll take yer measurements,” Jamie said as he took a generous squeeze of her arse. “Probably grill ye about yer past relationships and what yer plans are with me. Just normal things.”

Claire smacked Jamie lightly on his chest. “Very helpful. Thank you. Can't wait now.”

“I could introduce ye some of my mates first, but that would just be Ian and why no’ rip off the plaster off all at once and get Jenny over and done with at the same time?”

“Why indeed,” Claire mumbled.

“If ye really dinna want to, ye dinna have to. But it’s something that I would like to happen… at some time… in our future,” Jamie hesitated over the words, trying to gauge her reaction.

Claire worked to keep her face calm while her heart just about leapt out of her chest at the mention of “their shared future”. When did she become such a commit-a-phobe?

“Fine. Fine. Rip the bloody plaster off then. Yes, I’ll meet them.”

“Only because ye seem so thrilled about it,” Jamie laughed. “I’ll ask Jen when she’ll be in town next.”

—

Meeting Jenny Fraser- now Murray- was, to put it lightly, an experience. Claire was already nervous but watching the tiny woman who was at least a foot shorter than her, come barrelling down the street toward her and Jamie, husband in tow was positively frightening. The fact that Jenny Murray could command an entire restaurant into an almost revered silence by her very presence alone was, frankly, terrifying.

She pulled Jamie in for a hug before turning to Claire and, (Claire looked for a better word but couldn’t think of one) inspected her. Jenny’s face was polite of course, a warm smile on her mouth, but it was the dark blue cat eyes, so similar to her brothers but about four times darker, that, also like Jamie, were the true tell of what she was thinking. Initially Janet Murray was not impressed.

Ian on the other hand held a completely different impression than his other half. Still shorter than Jamie (though that wasn’t exactly hard, the man seemed like a giant sometimes) he was about Claire’s height with sandy brown hair and kind brown eyes. He greeted Jamie with a hug, much less forceful than Jenny’s, and Claire with a smile and handshake.

Once they had settled at their assigned table, with appetisers, meals and drinks ordered, that’s when the real awkwardness started for Claire.

Jenny updated Jamie on the comings and going’s of the village that they had grown up in. Mrs McKinnely had finally had that knee operation and was in a worse mood than usual. Alexander Poole had sold off the back half of his fathers property to a residential developer and the whole town was furious with him. Mrs McKimme (the name said with obvious clues to Jamie and a quick side eye to Claire) and her daughter were doing well and asking after him at every chance they could.

Ian managed to have a small side conversation with Claire to stop her from nodding along to news about people she had never met before.

Jamie took hold of Claire’s hand at some point and it took her several moments to realise that she was clinging to it for dear life when Jenny started to throw rapid fire questions at her.

“What do you do for a living?”

“A nurse? For how long?”

“Why scotland?”

“How long have you been here?”

“Where’s your family?”

“No siblings?”

“How do you enjoy your work?”

“Any plans for travel in the future?”

Claire felt like she was on a game show as the clock was counting down and one wrong answer would disqualify her from future dates with Jamie. She’d barely answered the last question before Jenny was asking the next.

Finally the entrees came out and Jenny had to take a break so that she could eat. Probably summoning the strength for the next round of the Spanish Inquisition.

“So Claire,” Ian said gently, “what got ye into nursing?”

“My uncle,” Claire answered quickly, afraid that Jenny would start up again. “We travelled a lot growing up and he always managed to injure himself in one way or another. It seemed like I was always patching him up.”

“Yer Uncle?” Jenny interrupted. “What does he do?”

“He was an Archeologist. A professor later in life. Wrote a few books here and there,” Claire answered quietly.

“Well known then, was he?” Jenny continued relentlessly.

“Not particularly. Unless you have a specific interest in Neolithic Mesopotamia,” Claire answered bluntly.

“And where we’re yer parents in all of this? Surely they didn’t relish ye travelling about the globe with yer uncle?” There truly was no stopping Jenny.

“Janet!” Jamie hissed at his sister as she shrugged back at him.

“I wouldn’t think that they care all that much being that they’re dead.” Was what Claire wanted to say. Instead she swallowed the retort and answered quietly. “They passed when I was a child. My Uncle raised me.”

“Oh,” Jenny paused, her eyes finally leaving Claire’s face, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Claire nodded mutely, wondering where the next onslaught of questions was going to come from. She was saved by Jamie taking the lead in the conversation now that it seemed like Jenny had run out of speed.

“Did ye watch the Wales game? I did’na think we were going to pull it outta the bag after that dodgy first half.”

—

It was sometime around when their main meals were almost finished that it seemed that Jenny had finally warmed to Claire. Claire didn’t know what had changed but it was a welcome relief after Jenny’s interrogation. Ian and Jamie were arguing over the merits of some Rugby Centre that Claire had never heard of before in her life when Jenny drew her attention.

“I- ah I wanted to say that I’m sorry about earlier,” she said quietly. “It’s just… my Braither has always seemed to jump in head first to everything he does. He’s no’ had a lot of relationships, and he’s only brought a few lasses around to meet the family, so I ken ye’re special to him, it’s just that,” Jenny paused as she tried to think of the right words. “Ian and I, we’re protective of him. Probably too much if ye ask him. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if it seemed like I was puttin’ ye under the furnace.”

Claire smiled tentatively at Jenny. “I can understand that.” She desperately wanted Jenny to like her, if nothing else than for Jamie’s sake.

“Aye, ye’re gracious.” Jenny blushed slightly. “Truly though.”

“I mean I didn’t say that I’d like to experience another interrogation again anytime soon,” Claire smiled shyly.

“I suppose no’,” Jenny grinned in return. “Feel free to giv’ it back to me all ye like. I’ll happily give ye all the dirt on this wee lad, including’ the time he jumped butt naked into the Broch in the middle of winter and nearly froze his bollocks off because Lisa Annister said that she’d lay one on him if he did.”

“Oi,” Jamie grumbled, his and Ians’ conversation momentarily abandoned as Claire laughed.

It wasn’t instantaneous, and it took most of dessert and a few glasses of wine, but it was there- the beginning of a friendship. Claire didn’t have a lot of friends, she didn’t need to surround herself with people, she preferred her relative solitude, but there was something about Jenny Fraser. It sort of seemed like Claire didn’t really have a choice on whether they were going to be friends or not. Jenny had already decided and Claire found that she didn’t mind that much after all.

If it was for Jamie, she wondered what she wouldn’t do.