#also this is fully based off of a my lady jane scene

[maekarlargenaturals]

sometimes the devil on your shoulder isn't a devil at all, it's two blonde men.

eye close ups under cut!

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Intense Subtext in Front of Oblivious Side Characters: "I had no wife in the year six"

There's a thing, I guess it would be considered a trope, that is one of my favorite such things in any form of media but especially any sort of romance-centered story. I don't know of an existing term for this and I'm terrible at being concise so I'm not sure how I could put it briefly. Basically, it's the thing that happens when a larger interaction is happening with a group of people but there's a subtext to it that means something very different--and generally, much more meaningful--to the central characters. You could call it something like Intense Subtext in Front of Oblivious Side Characters.

I've been thinking for a while about possible parallels between BLs and Jane Austen novels and/or adaptations. This is my attempt at taking a small, specific example of a parallel I sometimes notice and talking about it. Austen's novels do a lot of this trope I mentioned. That's in part because of choices Austen made in what she wanted to write about. But it's also because of the social context of her time. There was a lot going on that people couldn't be explicit about, for a variety of reasons. I think one reason why I see similar things happening in some BLs--and maybe one reason for the appeal of certain types of BLs--is the fact that being queer in a homophobic society makes openness complicated in a way that doesn't come up as much for hetero relationships these days. Especially when we get into things like office romances, in which appearances have higher stakes. These complications around openness have a kind of similarity to the reasons Austen's characters had to play a lot of things close to the chest.

Fellow Old Fashion Cupcake fans will remember an example from that series that I think really fits here. Nozue and Togawa agree to attend a goukon, or "mixer" as it's sometimes translated--basically a group hangout intended to help men and women meet for the purpose of finding people to date. Nozue is hitting it off with a cute younger woman, which is bad enough. But then he mentions his "anti-aging" efforts, and because of the mysterious way he words it, the woman asks, "Does that mean you're in love?" which of course catches Togawa's attention even more. He's clearly affected when Nozue answers, "If I were, I wouldn't be here."

@jdramastuff did a great screenshot post of this scene if you want to see what this looked like.

After Nozue's comment, Togawa starts knocking back alcoholic drinks like it's going out of style, ensuring that Nozue will have to help him home instead of going home with the woman who's been flirting with him.

(You could argue that this isn't so much a case of subtext as it is the significance one person assigns to what another is saying. Subtext really requires some degree of communication between more than one person. But while Nozue doesn't fully grasp what's going on, I think he does understand in some ways what he's communicating. I don't want to go on too much of a tangent, so I'll just say that having just read the manga the series was based on, it strengthened my belief that while Nozue is repressed, insecure, even deluded at times, he has glimmers of awareness of his feelings for Togawa and even suspicions of Togawa's feelings for him, and on some level he knows what he's saying, though I don't think he knows in this moment how much these words will hurt Togawa.)

I have another favorite example of this, a scene from Persuasion. It's rendered really well in the 1995 adaptation of the novel with Ciaran Hinds and Amanda Root. (The whole thing is phenomenal, by the way--I think it's the best Austen adaptation ever made, personally.)

A bit of background for anyone not familiar with the story: Anne Elliott was engaged to Captain Frederick Wentworth in 1806 but was convinced by Lady Russell, her neighbor/family friend and a kind of surrogate mother to her following her mom's death, to break off the engagement. She has regretted it ever since. Wentworth was deeply hurt and angry when she broke things off, not surprisingly.

More than eight years later, Anne is visiting her sister and her sister's in-laws, the Musgroves, when Wentworth comes to the area and starts spending a lot of time at the Musgrove place (and with the Musgroves' eligible young daughters). Wentworth acknowledges Anne, but just barely, while paying enough attention to both the Musgrove girls that everyone is gossiping about which one he's going to marry. Anne's sister Mary was away at boarding school when her previous relationship with Wentworth happened, so neither Mary nor the Musgroves are aware Anne and Wentworth were involved and think they were only acquaintances.

At a dinner party, the Musgrove girls try to look up the ship that Wentworth first commanded, the Asp, in the Navy List, a book that chronicles the various ships in the British Navy, their commanders, and so forth. Wentworth tells them not to bother--"she" is not in the current version of the List because "she" no longer exists.

Louisa and Henrietta Musgrove are suitably horrified.

Admiral Croft, Wentworth's brother-in-law and superior in the Navy, remarks that Wentworth was lucky to get a command so early in his career at all, no matter how seaworthy (or un-seaworthy) the ship was.

(Remember, 1806 was the year that Anne and Wentworth became engaged and then un-engaged.)

Gut-wrenching. And nobody else sitting at that table has any idea what just happened. I love it.

I have some more thoughts about this languishing in an excessively long post in my drafts, which I'll try to get out one of these days. I know I've talked to a few people about trying to do some BL/Austen posts and had meant to tag them but the only person I remember talking with about it was @absolutebl. If you're reading this and you want a heads up next time I write about this stuff, let me know!

[intubatedangel]

Out of Body: Chapter 3

Didn’t really feel like writing much of a resus scene after recent events, but I already had some stuff written so I worked it in where I could while expanding the story a bit more.

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

************

Jane The ambulance swung into the emergency bay of the major trauma centre, stopping a few feet beyond an assembled team of doctors and nurses. They were already in blue surgical gowns and with the coordination of professionalism and experience, they spread around the back doors and pulled them open, dragging the gurney out. Dave was still pumping the ambu bag while Jane, her sweat slicked fringe sticking to her forehead, handed over the IV bag and monitor to waiting hands before the team ran inside. “What have we got?” The trauma lead asked as he ran his eyes across Laura’s restrained body. His eyebrows raised slightly at the improvised chest tube. “Laura Beckett, 23. Involved in an RTC, sedan vs motorcycle. Fractured femur, query dislocated hip and knee. Fractured wrist as well. Multiple broken ribs and punctured lung, leading to severe haemothorax. Resulted in cardiac arrest, downtime of approximately 25 minutes, reversed after the pressure of the haemothorax was relieved. BPs still low and O2 sat’s barely over 80. Currently sinus tachy at 120.” “Beckett?” The doctor asked, not asking the question out loud. Jane simply nodded. “Ok, lets get her inside, fast beep radiology we need to get a full trauma series ASAP. Let’s get a proper chest tube in, get her on the vent and pack the rapid infuser with TXA, platelets and 2 units of O-neg.” “She’s A-positive.” Jane cut in. “Good, lets get 6 units of that up from the blood bank. Get in touch with cardiothoracics, orthopaedics and neuro for consults.” The rest of the team confirmed their orders as the gurney was pushed into the primary trauma room. After a 3 count Laura was lifted across onto the table, a flurry of action surrounding her as doctors and nurses perform the assigned tasks. The lead eased Jane back. “We’ve got it from here Jane.” She shook her head defiantly, but her voice came out in a whisper. “I’m not leaving her.” “You’ve done your job. And done it well, but you can’t help her in here. Go get cleaned up, you’ll be the first to hear when we have any news.” Jane lingered for a moment, gazing at her sisters body as nurses rapidly stripped away her clothes, discarding them into a bloody heap in one corner of the room. Then her shoulders slumped and her head bowed as she retreated from the trauma room, discarding her gloves into a bin. Dave tried to catch her attention, but she ignored him, heading towards the ladies restroom while pulling out her phone. Ashir Ashir sat at his desk, much of the room shrouded in the late-night darkness. The desk itself was lit by a powerful lamp that starkly highlighted thin tendrils of smoke as they were drawn into the small extraction unit mounted in the window. He peered through the microscope, gently applying more solder to the electronic circuit board he was working on. It wasn’t work that needed to be done right now, but he needed something to occupy his mind. He made a satisfied grunt and shifted the microscope out of the way. He leaned back, stretching and rubbing his eyes, while spinning on his chair. His gaze fell on the other desk in the room. Laura’s desk. It was cluttered, stacks of newspapers, photographs and journals were strewn about in a system that Ashir couldn’t recognise, but his journalist roommate seemed perfectly at home with the mess. The pin board hung on the wall behind the stacks was a different story. It was laid out like a true conspiracy theory board. Over a dozen profile pictures formed the centres of different sections and various colours of string linked articles and reports in a web that looked chaotic at first glance. Looking closer, and with only a small amount of guidance, it began to come together into a cohesive whole. Ashir sighed. He really hoped his roommate was wrong about all this. But even he had to admit the evidence was compelling when presented in the way she had laid it out. That was part of what worried him. She should have been back by now. Or at least have dropped him some form of message. At least she’d told him where she was going. He’d been able to get his own backups into place. She’d probably kill him if she knew about them. As that thought crossed his mind his phone began to ring. He let out a relieved sigh as he prepared to make his concern clear. That was when he saw the caller ID. His hand trembled as he answered. “Ash you were right. She’s in over her head.” Jane’s voice was tight. “What happened?” Ash was already on his feet looking for his keys. “She’s hurt Ash. She’s really hurt.” “I’m coming down there.” He pulled on his jacket then flicked off the light. “Hurry Ash.”

Laura

I heard the noises first. Alarms sounding. Orders being given. I opened my eyes, once again struck by seeing the world in that strange brightness. A nurse was above me, rocking backwards and forwards, her ponytail flicking to and fro with the motion, until she paused for a brief moment. I followed her arms, down to her hands that rested in the slight valley between my breasts.

“Still nothing, resume compressions.” Someone said. The nurses hands suddenly disappeared into my chest. CPR, I was getting CPR again. My heart had stopped once more. The way the nurses compressions passed through my ethereal form was still incredibly disconcerting, so I sat up and looked around. Doctors and nurses surrounded me, but there was a gap at my feet. I managed to scooch past them without passing through anyone, then turned to look my body.

I was naked on the table. And I didn’t look good. My chest was heavily bruised, with tubes sticking out of either side, Jane’s impromptu effort having been replaced by a proper chest tube, an identical one mirroring it. My broken arm and leg had both been splinted and bandaged, though the bandages were already stained through. A urinary catheter had been placed. I was slightly glad I hadn’t seen that happening, someone touching me in such an intimate place.

A large bore IV was in my leg, with other lines into my arms and another one near the base of my neck. Blood and saline were flowing into my body, though as I watched, a nurse pushed some drugs into the central line.

The ecg wires trailed across my chest, leading to a monitor that hug above the trauma table. The line on the monitor was flat. I looked down at my chest, seeing my lifeline still strong and thick. I also saw that my ghostly form was naked too. I instinctively tried to cover myself, despite no one being capable of seeing me.

I looked around for my clothes, shredded and discarded into one corner. I reached out to them, but of course my hand passed right through them. But there was something. A strange feeling, almost like a memory of sensation across my whole body. I reached out again, letting my hand linger within the bundle. The sensation became stronger, growing steadily, and it was almost like I could feel the clothes on me.

I took a deep breath, recalling the meditation techniques my therapist had taught me years ago. How visualising a result can help it happen. I had no idea if it would work, but I’d rather not walk around naked, even if no one could see me. I tried to hold on to the memory of my clothes as I pulled my hand out. I could still feel the clothes on me, and focused on that feeling, blocking out everything else. Slowly, I let out the breath and opened my eyes, looking down at myself. I was clothed. My dark grey t-shirt and similar coloured pants were whole, despite their real counterparts being little more than shreds before me. My black hoody was also on me, unstained by blood like the genuine article.

“We’ve got V-fib.” Someone shouted, dragging my attention back to my body. The alarm had changed, it was familiar enough that I knew what was going to happen next. A doctor, fully gowned and masked, held a pair of black paddles down against my chest. “Clear!” He said, a moment before my naked body jerked on the trauma table. I cringed at the way my legs spread slightly.

“No change. Let’s do another minute of compressions and shock her again.” A nurse immediately had her hands back on my chest, pressing it down, seemingly quite easily. Given how petite the nurse was, my ribs must be really soft.

It was almost enough to turn my stomach, and I instinctively took a few steps back. There was a momentary feeling of resistance, and suddenly I couldn’t see anything. I paused, realising that wasn’t quite right. I could see, there just wasn’t anything too see. Except the papery texture of the back of the plasterboard sheet in front of me, and the treated timbers that were the drywall studs. I was inside the wall. I took another step back, emerging into a corridor.

It was a quiet corridor, empty except for a cleaner at the far end. Yet I could still hear a voice. Quiet, but clear. It was counting. “15…16…17…18…” I grimaced slightly, then plunged back through the wall. The nurse was still pressing down on my chest, and she was mouthing the words, but more to herself. She wasn’t shouting by any stretch, in fact I would be surprised if her words would even carry to where I stood.

So, I can still hear what is happening to my body. Helpful. I glanced down, concentrating slightly to look at my lifeline. It was still strong and steady. How far can it stretch? I remembered Keith telling me to stay close, but the lifeline was thin then, insignificant compared to the almost cable thick line I could see before me now. I made up my mind. I strode across the room, towards the doors, unable to stop myself from hesitating just slightly before I walked through them. Again that slight resistance, more a reminder the wall was there, than something really stopping me, tugged as I passed through. And then I was in a different corridor, busier, but still quiet.

 I looked around, hoping to see Jane, but she was not there. I walked down the corridor, trying to figure out precisely where I was, or where I should go. I glanced at the signs, but most of them were mainly just numbers, hanging in front of cubicles or other offshoot corridors. Coloured lines were on the floor, branching out down the corridor behind me. Presumably, I thought, they must all come together at one starting point. I followed them back, dodging a nurse pushing a young man in a wheelchair, a large boot on his foot. Neither of them payed me even a sliver of attention.

 “Ok, that’s a minute. Let’s shock her again.” It was the voice of the doctor working on me. “Clear” he said a moment later. I stopped walking as I wondered if I was about to be wrenched back into my body. “Still no change. Load her up with epi, bicarb and amiodarone.” I considered going back, but my lifeline hadn’t changed. I was close enough to see the name plate on the nearby doors, ‘Reception’. Seemed like a sensible place to look for my sister.

I passed through the door and immediately sidestepped out of the way of a porter. It was much busier in here. I retreated to an out of the way corner and looked around for Jane. I couldn’t see her anywhere and was beginning to wonder if she had abandoned me and gone back to work when I saw a high-vis jacket come around the corner. It was her partner. Dave. I remembered. He held two coffee cups, putting them on a counter before reaching for his radio. I crossed the room, weaving around nurses and patients, cringing when a small girl ran through me.

Dave was already mid conversation. “…anks for sorting it. I’ll tell her then I‘ll run the rig back to base.”

“How’s she doing?” A voice said from the radio.

Dave blew out a breath between clenched teeth. “Honestly, not good.” He seemed to stare across at a pair of doors across the room. Toilets. “I mean, it is her sister after all, how many of us would be alright after seeing someone we love in that …” I left him behind as I crossed the room and plunged through the wall into the ladies restroom.

Jane stood there, leaning over a sink. Her high-vis jacket lay on the floor at her feet. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the edges of the sink. She was murmuring to herself, enough to earn a sideways glance from another woman who quickly scurried out.

“…stupid. Stubborn. Why couldn’t you just listen to me. I begged you. ‘Don’t go after him.’ But you didn’t listen. You never listen.” As I stepped closer, I could see her aura. There was a bubbling of red, but it was mostly that sickly green. As the door swung shut behind the fleeing woman, Jane let out a great shuddering sob, and tears began to fall from her face. I reached out, but my hand passed through her shoulder.

I could still hear the distant sounds of the attempt to resuscitate me. A third shock delivered. “Back in asystole. Ok, hang another round of blood products and chase up the surgical consult, if we don’t get anything back in two minutes we open her up down here.” That sounded just delightful. I glanced down at my lifeline, but it didn’t look like it had diminished.

That’s when I noticed the traces of red in the sink. Blood. My blood. As if to distract herself, Jane washed out the bowl of the sink, tears still dripping as she took deep steadying breaths. I’d seen her do it before. Fighting to assert an iron control over herself. It had always driven me crazy, especially after what had happened to Mum and Dad. But then, something happened that I had never seen before.

She lost.

Her whole body was wracked with sobs as she sank to the ground against the wall. Her hands covered her face and she drew her knees up tightly. I didn’t know what to do. So I sat down beside her. For just a moment I passed into the wall, but I grabbed that moment of resistance, held it my mind for a few seconds, and suddenly the wall felt solid. I leaned back against it, looking at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I whispered. As expected, she didn’t respond. She continued to sob, and I could see tears leaking out. I sighed. “It was him. If you can hear me at all, hear that. It was him. Patterson. I was right. He’s a murderer, and he tried to kill me. Just like he killed them.” I could feel the anger building. I turned to look at her, as she lowered her hand, her sobs easing. “It was never your fault Jane. It was always him. He had mum and dad killed.”  

[flying-elliska]

So I watched Happiest Season (livewatch with @beeexx my fave penguin enthusiast 🐧🐧🐧)

Overall I enjoyed it ? But it's not the light-hearted romcom it's been promoted as.

Spoilers !

The positive:

- Kristen Stewart, het icon of my teen years, is just glowing in this, like she is so happy to be finally playing gay lmao. This is really her story. Her character, Abby, is by turn charming, adorable, funny, and relatably awkward. Also, her glam butch style is just A++. And she has good chemistry with her co-star - they feel and behave like a believable couple (which has been a problem with actresses playing wlw in the past where you could really see they weren’t fully into it.) They were super cute together. This still feels cathartic somehow, like Bella Swan decided to go see a therapist instead of going off the deep end and finally figured herself out.

- I loved that this isn't the "token gays in a sea of straightness" trope. Abby's BFF is gay and really funny - and this particular trope feels a lot less annoying when the gay BFF is there for another gay person so it's more like queer solidarity instead of him being a prop for a straight person's development. Him trying to play straight was just hilarious. Aubrey Plaza plays Harper's (the other part of the main couple) ex and she is just great, seems a bit shady at first but her helping Abby out was just...so compassionate. Also she is probably the hottest character in this movie let's be real. And I loved the bit where she takes her to a drag bar (the straight bar where Harper goes to seems so drab in comparison fjfj)

- There were some funny, classic rom-com shenanigans moments - the sneaking around, getting stuck in the closet, etc...the creepy twins were quite funny too, if infuriating. My favorite was definitely Jane, the overlooked kooky sister, who "has been writing a fantasy book for the past ten years" (I can relate) and whose overachiever family has pretty much given up on her (I can also relate). 

-Ngl the whole ‘rich people being fake and neurotic and making everything x100 times more difficult than it has to be’ bit felt very realistic. Like, I’ve met those people, and they are just as annoying in this movie as they are in real life. Also a very realistic rep of having to fake who you are in a town full of fake people pleasers and over achievers (even if it was stressful to watch lmao) and how Christmas can bring out the worst in people.

- Even though it has issues, the ending was very heartfelt and I definitely cried. This movie is just really raw and sad in some parts, but in a way that felt genuine and you can tell that a lot of queer people were involved in making it. It really touches on this deep seated anguish of possibly being rejected, of not knowing whether your family is going to accept you or not, on desperately trying to pass because you’re afraid of change...I think a lot of that comes to the actors being really good, like all of them, and really acting their heart out. And the moment where the dad decides to forego a big donor/supporter because he doesn’t want to force his daugther to hide really touched me. I also really liked the part where the BFF talks about how everybody’s coming out journey can be different and it’s important to remember that, especially if you have the chance to come from a very tolerant background.

The Less Positive

- The movie has been criticized for being weirdly apolitical (for instance the dad is a mayor but we never learn anything about his actual political opinions) but tbh this is supposed to be a Hallmark-like holidays movie I think that’s kind of part of the genre to be in this sort of happy slightly tone-deaf bubble and I don’t think straight movies of this type get this sort of criticism so yknow i’m fine with that bit i guess not all queer movies should have to be deeply political (even tho yeah it’s still very homonormative and ‘all about family values’ etc etc)

- Most of the issues I have with this movie center around Harper, Abby’s love interest and the one who lies to her family about their relationship. Now, I think Mackenzie Davis is a really good actress. And I do feel sympathetic for the character. The movie really makes you understand all the pressure she’s under, how her parent’s love is conditional, all the public scrutiny, and why she behaves the way she does. And her finally pulling through made me cheer for her. However, there were a lot of moments in the movie where I was genuinely unsure if I should be rooting for Abby and her to stay together. She does a lot of things that are definitely deeply unhealthy and questionable and had me going ‘Abby pls run away while you still can’. I feel a lot of compassion for her. But I simply don’t think the movie gives us enough happy time with Abby and Harper for me to really want them to be together as a couple -they spend a big part of the movie being mad at each other. They should have given us more scenes with them at the start to really get a feel of who they are as characters and as a couple, so when it gets rough, we actually root for them to pull through. This is an issue a lot of mediocre romances have - they assume we will root for the characters just because they’re said to be in love. For me, that doesn’t really work. And even though the ending made me quite emotional (again, great acting) - as a romance, it doesn’t really work for me.

- I really liked the bit where the family realized they had been putting this pressure on each other to be perfect and as they shared all these secrets they finally came together as a family. But...honestly, the family started out as just so profoundly neurotic it felt a bit unbelievable (and their social circles felt like a nightmare). A bit like Abby and Harper’s relationship being all ok after Harper’s big change of heart. The whole ‘mom’s secret desire to do karate but it’s unlady-like’ being put on the same level as her daughter’s coming out had me rolling my eyes. And there is a forced coming out scene which I really really hate.

- I think what I am really tired of, is queer movies who center coming out so much, the anxiety of being accepted or not, etc. And who present coming out as this revolutionary process that is going to change everything immediately. In my experience, at least, it’s often a process of small inches, towards self acceptance, towards your family coming to terms and learning to be less unconsciously bigoted, sometimes good intentions, sometimes microagressions or being erased, etc etc. I also just really want queer stories and queer romances who are not centered on coming out, on ‘what will others/my family think’, who have shenanigans and tension based on other things, with characters who might struggle with self acceptance sometimes (or not) but who have other things going on as well and who are fuller characters. It’s about damn time. Until then, the movies we have will end up feeling a lot like a PSA for straight people.

Overall

I still think this is a pretty quality movie. Good acting, believable and often funny dialogue, good chemistry, etc. (And let’s be honest, the bar for wlw movies is uhhhh not very high.) I really enjoyed watching Kristen Steward play gay and have chemistry with pretty ladies. There was room for holiday gay movies (even tho I want to see more, with more diverse characters).

It feels like wish-fullfillment for a certain type of queer person - (upper) middle class, with parents who are...ambiguously accepting. It does transcribe well this tension of not really being to predict their reaction - and illustrates the importance of being very obviously accepting with your children - like tell them it’s okay for them to be gay from the start, even if they turn out to be straight - otherwise they will be left wondering if they’re not. It’s this fantasy that everything will turn out all-right after you come out, you will fit in your family better than before, your mistakes will be forgiven if you are earnest enough, and life can go on as usual but better. And it is sweet, and cathartic, in a way, even if not revolutionary.

But yeah, as a romance, I wasn’t entirely sold on it. And I think it was promoted as a lot more uplifting than it really was.

[valentinestorm]

I don’t know if anyone will see this. But let’s talk Austen, like properly. I will give my answers and hopefully someone or many someones will reply and a debate or talk can happen.

What is your favourite Austen novel?

Northhanger abbey. I read a lot and love gothic literature and I love this book because it is mocking gothic lit. It does it beautifuly. We are like Catherine she is imaginative, full of curiousness and life. She makes mistakes many of us make, with her mind full of scandals and murder, which fascinates many generations. Yet it is still beautiful with a gorgeous love story about loving someone for who they are. Catherine represents readers who get too emerged in the world of books.

I also have a massive love for persuasion. It is raw, about two people trying to find themselves back to each other. About trust. I cry everytime. Which makes it even more special is it is based on Jane Austen’s own love life.

Who is your favourite Austen heroine?

Emma. She is a realistic women. Well rounded full of flaws, she speaks her mind, hurts people as we all do. She was written to be disliked and yet she is likeable, I think because she reflects women well. We are all capable of cattiness, jealousy and ignorance. I love the way she ignores how much she loves knightly, she is determined never to marry so not to leave her father. But how jealous she got. For instance when Mrs Elton called him knightly, and Emma went on that massive rant about how she never calls him knightly but has known him her whole life. Notice after that scene she starts calling him knightly. Or the real upset she feels when she faces losing knightly and the horror over her best friend liking him. She is witty and remarkable.

Who is your favourite Austen man?

Mr Knightly, he is honest, not afraid to speak his mind, to tell Emma off, he loves her. knowing her fully, her flaws, her darkness, her joys, her virtues. Everything and he loves her. Wanting to make sure she is okay after Churchill. We all deserve a Mr. Knightly. Also one hell of a proposal. “If I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more.” When he talks about Emma you know he loves her. He doesn’t place her on a pedi stool, even when complimenting her, saying she isn’t vain, as she is very handsome but doesn’t occupy her self with it. But then critiques her in another manner. When he says badly done Emma that is just my whole sexuality in one line 😂.

Who is your favourite non main Austen character?

Mrs Bennett so much so I wrote my English course work on her, pride and prejudice from Mrs Bennett’s point of view. She is funny, an insight on how things really were and written by a women which is a more reliable as she is a women.

Who is your favourite Austen villain?

Mr Collins, he is utterly hilarious and is great. Honestly we should make a drinking game about how many times he saying lady Catherine.

Least favourite non main character?

Hmmm... okay so I am going to go with, sir Thomas Bertram. I think he is for lack of a better word a prick. Unable to accept his son until he almost loses him. But still blames him. Also you know the whole slavery thing and the whipping and torture of slaves.

Least favourite Austen man?

Hmm... possibly Edmund Bertram, but then again, I love how he loves franny despite how poor she is, he loves her mind.but he chose the rich lady over her, but she turned out to be a bitch so he went back to the ever kind and clever franny. But I don’t think he ever loved anyone but franny, he was just taken with vanity.

So hmm.. even Willoughby I have sympathy with, he loved Marianne but loved money more, but he had to live knowing he lost the one thing that could make him really happy. And that is really sad, knowing he is the cause of his own sadness.

My answer is Wickham. He was just fully a pedo. Like fully, he tried taking advantage of one fifteen year old girl and succeeded with another, he was corrupt and tried to hide that by slandering a good man (mr Darcy) he also manipulated lizzie’s feelings for him.

Least favourite Austen heroine?

Okay this one is hard. And honestly I don’t have one. I guess it is easier to criticise less likeable characters. If I had to chose then maybe marianne from sense and sensibility. She lets her romantic mind render her vulnerable to manipulation and only chooses the right man when the wrong one was taken away by his need for money and social standing. But I think that is because I have the same tendency to let bad men in and let the good ones pass me by, so I most likely just feel personally attacked by her 😂 so basically I just don’t like myself 😂

Least favourite Austen book?

I honestly don’t have one, I love them all, with all their flaws and perfections.

Favourite Austen tv show?

Again this going to have to be Emma, the one with Johnny Lee Miller who also plays my favourite Edmund in Mansfield park. It is stunning honestly and I have watched it about 20 times and I will never tire of it.

Favourite Austen movie?

Pride and prejudice 2005, yes I know the costumes were not accurate but this film is so visually stunning and the music. And Matthew MacFayden is an amazing mr Darcy and Keira knightly brings a brilliant cheek to Elizabeth which I love to see. It is one of my favourite movies of all time.

Favourite Austen adaptation?

Either Bridget Jones or clueless they are funny and brilliant.

Does anyone agree with my answers? What are your guys opinions. Do you have any questions for me?

Val 😊

[tanoraqui]

I just wanted you to know that I just read all your hellmurder castle 'verse posts and I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCH

what you have to understand about my Hellmurder Castle AU (Homestuck set in the world of Girl Genius, if you haven’t read it) is that it was born specifically from my spite exasperation with all the long, epic AUs about either only the trolls or the trolls + beta kids, with alpha kids appearing as background characters at best and often not at all. Many of these fics are great, and many of them were written or at least planned before the alpha kids even appeared in canon, in which case it’s not the authors’ faults at all. But I LOVE my alpha kids, and Roxy may be my favorite and Dirk is a delight, but I was ALSO tired to tears of how even in fics featuring the alpha kids, it was almost always Derse-heavy.

So I basically said “fuck it”, yeeted them all into the world of Girl Genius (which was inevitable), figured out the torrid backstory of the beta kids and ancestors and how the dancestors and trolls fit in, and set about focussing the plot and character development exclusively on the alpha kids, particularly Jake and Jane. Particularly particularly Jake, because a) I thought him more underappreciated than Jane, and b) the idea of a Heroic Adventurer who constantly has to resist his own reflex to be a minion is fucking funny.

Let’s elaborate, shall we? Because I’m okay again, after the epilogue. I have forgiven. So, the hypothetical pfennig novels/fics in a series:

Jake English: Escape from Castle Lalonde

In which Jake leaves home, and meets a number of interesting people.

covers from basically that scene of Roxy capturing him through Jake escaping with Jane, and them agreeing to be adventuring partners. A lot of the middle consists of Jake helping Roxy and Dirk win back Roxy’s ancestral home of Castle Lalonde, defeating whatever villainous spark - probably an OC - had taken up residence.

Jake means to leave, but Roxy and Dirk need help cleaning up, and getting their labs running, and with interesting projects…and possibly they put a shock collar on him so he can’t leave the grounds…or at least tell him that’s what the collar does, and prove it, like, twice, and then turn it off because they don’t actually want him crippled in an emergency; mostly he’s just a great minion and Roxy is pretty sure he’s destined to be part of their team for defeating the Batterwitch, as laid out in the obscure and highly metaphorical prophecy her mother left her in a wizard book.

this is not at all good ground for either friendship or a healthy minion/master relationship, which is why Jake is pretty damn game to help Jane escape and then run away with her.

Jake English and the Red Miles

in which…I actually have barely any memory of wtf is supposed to happen in this one. Presumably, they have to survive the Red Miles at some point, with some ridiculous series of revivificationsthe trolls show up at Jake and Jane’s camp (okay fine, I love them, too), and after some alarmed mutual weapon-pointing, explain that Jake’s grandmother, Lady English, made them after Jake left, except now she’s died so they’ve come to find Jake and either bring him home or, at least, join his adventuring team and keep him safe

(yeah, Jade instilled some loyalty, which is Sketch. In fairness, when she lost control of the original generation of trolls, all her best friends were killed and/or disappeared, presumed dead. she has reasons)

I wonder if there was supposed to be a timeskip between this and the previous book, or if Escape from Castle Lalonde happened later into Jake going out adventuring than I think, or if Jade just got bored and made 12 new people like…3 hours after Jake left home

for pacing, the trolls should probably show up pretty early in this story, so they have a long time to be around before shit hits the fan

a lot of this book, aside from whatever shenanigans they’re dealing with re: Red Miles, would be Jake dealing with the fact that he is suddenly responsible for 12 people who keep looking to him for orders, and somewhere in the distance is an entire town (Hellmurder Village) that’s likewise.

they do not go back to the Castle at the end of this book, even though they arguably should bc Jake has responsibilities. But he also has adventuring to do, by golly, and…hm, it’s one of the Rings that causes the Red Miles, isn’t it? So maybe they get it at the end of this book, and now they have to track down the other one. Which brings us to…

Jake English and the Rings of Skaia

In which Jake and Jane (and Roxy and Dirk, and 12 young trolls) explore a castle, learn a little history, and generally level up their friendshipsI split up the aspects of Castle Heterodyne in this au: Jake has the recently inherited Castle with the terrifying, nigh-magical power source buried in its depths, and Jane has the abandoned derelict that is fully sentient, most automated, and even more malicious than it is trapped. This is the story of that castle, and the Ring of Life hidden somewhere in it

Jack Noir. The castle’s sentience is Jack Noir. Or perhaps more accurately Spades Slick? Who cares.

I had a very elaborate mythology/history thought up at some point about the twin spark queens of Derse and Prospit and their great enmity, and the saga of betrayal and heroism that marked their reigns and left behind this castle and two super magical scientific rings of power, and I do not remember ANY of it now.

This is the bit where that scene of Dirk ripping out Vriska’s soul comes from. He and Roxy are here for the fabled treasure as well - possibly the castle only appears/is accessible at certain specific times? And they don’t know the trolls are with Jake, so…clusterfuck, there.

Jake English and the Troll Queen

in which the big bad is reveeled

there’s trouble brewing in the countryside, idk, monsters or pirates or something that can be traced, after some investigative heroing, to the self-styled Her Imperial Condescension, still unfortunately at large

mostly this fic is Jake growing into leadering a little more but also addressing the question of that inbuilt loyalty Jade gave this generation of trolls, because really, that was Sketch - and in general, who are we as people defined by who we follow, what groups we ally ourselves with; is it birth or genetics or who raised us or the family we choose or…

i kinda think Dirk and Roxy are conducting concurrent but generally not overlapping investigations to Jake&Jane’s(+the trolls) (dirk and roxy having pretty neatly answered all the above questions years ago by choosing each other, but still being kind of insular about it, and need to relax just enough to trust other people)

in the end there’s some confrontation with the Condesce and she convinces ½-2/3 the trolls to join her bc, honestly, why shouldn’t they

Jake English and the Castle in the Lake

in which…okay, in this one bit of fic I implied her base was in the ocean but I totally had this title written somewhere, so what is the truth??

in the above linked scene, the trolls who stayed with Jake and Jane were Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya, Gamzee, and Feferi, but idk about that. If Feferi’s there, why isn’t Sollux? And, like, Aradia would probably have just fucked off in her own direction completely, given the chance…

our heroes are trying to sneak into HIC’s base and disable it, okay. that is the plot of this one. probably they have to find it first, which is tricky, and basically a D&D dungeon crawl, and that’s before Jane gets tiara’d. Which definitely happens climactically. and then everyone else gets captured, with the possible exception of Dirk, who probably gets beheaded instead. things do not look good for our heroes…

Jake English and the Lost Hero

in which we find out exactly what happened in the previous generation

maybe even alternating chapters, past/present? 

what happened basically is that the first generation of trolls, the Ancestors, went absolutely batshit roughly as per homestuck canon. The Condesce, being OP, started just conquering land. She was stopped, eventually, mostly by the epic sacrifice of Rose and Dave. And John…except Rose and Dave’s bodies were found, and in a clusterfuck of inventions warping time and space and reality itself, John’s never was

Jade survived, of course. obviously.

John did, too, it is revealed. He was just disconnected from the time-space continuum, stuck popping up in random times and places, sometimes close to those he loved and sometimes not, mostly uncontrollable…

he’s appeared here and there throughout the stories, probably, a mysterious figure in blue who nearly has time to say something before dissolving into fizzing wind. Now he appears more frequently, and for longer periods as the story goes on, including just enough to help break Roxy and Jake out of prison. And whichever trolls were stubbornly sticking with them - if the Condesce wasn’t just mind-controlling all the reluctant ones…let’s be real, she was…lotta “I know you’re in there somewhere” fights here, probably

also, Vriska reveals herself to still be trying to help our heroes, because it is SO Vriska to try to double-cross Her fucking Imperious Condescension

this double-cross is revealed partly from her using Jake’s minioning safeword that he developed with Grandma Jade, way back when; meaning roughly “I don’t want to do this but I’m not sure I can stop”. It’s pumpkin, of course.

they revivify Dirk on the way out, and either stop in the Condesce’s lab to get sparkily distracted trying to pin John into reality or they make it back to Hellmurder Castle before doing that?

What am I saying. The Condesce is probably working on some spacetime-warping tech of her own, and Roxy, Dirk, and Jake use it to fully anchor John for the first time in…who knows, subjectively? It’s possible he stays behind to buy them time to run

Jake English and the Battle for the Green Sun

in which things come to a head

aka the Battle for Hellmurder Castle, and it’s mysterious and terrible power source

Jane and half or so of the trolls start out on the Condesce’s side, but if you thought there were good “I know you’re in there” fights before, just WAIT until Jake saves Jane with the power of friendship

ultimately, it’s alpha kids + Alternian trolls + dancestor-clanks VS Her Imperial Condescension

it’s close

it’s very close

I would have krilled for an H–EIR—ESS CHALLENGE X3 COMBO, ie, Jane, Feferi, and Meenah vs. the Condesce, so that happens

John maybe appears one last time-displaced time, for him before the events of Lost Hero, to deliver a well-timed hammer swing

I love Jake, but I’ll give Homestuck this one: Roxy getting the final blow with an ancestral Strider sword? Perfect.

in the denoument Jake awkwardly invites everyone to live in Hellmurder Castle, because he feels vaguely like he should stay and look after it, and of course he wants his chums around. Jane, Roxy, and Dirk are all like, “well, a real lab or seven would be amazing…but also…adventuring. Why don’t YOU come with US?” Jake is like, “oh JEEPERS yes!” The trolls and dancestors meanwhile talk out among themselves who genuinely wants to stay and who wants to go out adventuring, either with these idiots or just to make their own way

[booksneedcaffeinetoo]

Book Review: House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas

House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

This review is going to be LITTERED with SPOILERS because idk how to talk about this book without giving away the whole plot.

Consider yourself officially warned. 

I’m still debating on my rating, but for now here is my review. Fair warning: it is rant-y and ramble-y and hasn't been edited yet. I'll clean it up when I come back for a rating.

As always, content warnings are listed at the bottom!

Overall Positives:

• SJM has actually included a few gay characters….now they are all very minor side characters (Isiah, Fury, Juniper, and Declan) who are only present for maybe 3% total of the novel, but at least they exist??? So she gets points for actually having gay characters who aren’t killed off. You can say that she’s making an effort.

• The banter between Bryce and Hunt was pretty funny

• That scene with the knock-off My Little Pony dolls was funny

• I think there might've been a reference in the book to First Aid Kit (the sister folk duo) and it made my heart squeal because I love that band SO MUCH!

• Bryce actually has a great relationship with her mom and her stepfather! And they are both alive! And stay alive! I’m actually struggling to recall a book I’ve read where the main character in the book has a). both parents alive and b). a great relationship with them both. So that was really refreshing!

• Hunt in a sunball cap.

• Bryce and Hunt taking photos together. Way too adorable.

• Ride or die friendship. I love books that emphasize the importance of friendship.

• That LIGHT IT UP DANIKA LIGHT IT UP LIGHT IT UP scene....like i felt that...her happiness. so sweet. i teared up at that scene ngl....

• Pretty good depiction of grief. How even after years the pain of losing your friend doesn’t go away. How some people cut themselves off to cope and others don’t. How some take out their anger on the closest target. How some people remember the dead one’s birthday and other don’t. etc. etc.

• It really was a slow burn because they like didn’t even kiss until 75% into the 3,000 page book.

• Rhun is my favorite character in this book. He’s a goth softie king. I also loved the Demon Cat. And Fury. And Declan. And Flynn. And Isaiah. And Hunt. And Lele. And the dog. And Jesiba. And Randall. And….well….that’s about it….

• I have recently been getting more and more into Urban Fantasy so I am excited and glad that this book is UF. I also like how it takes place in a different world with a different history (although for some reason I went into this book under the impression it takes place in New Orleans…)

Overall Negatives:

• If I ever have to see the word “alphahole” again it will still be too soon. I get that she was going for meta and trying to poke fun at how the trope in so many UF books includes an alphamale love interest….but it just doesn’t really work because none of the guys she was calling an alphahole was actually acting like one??? Okay so this is kind of ramble-y but whatever. When I think of an alphamale love interest acting like a…*shudders*…. alphahole I think of the stereotypical shifter romance/erotica novel where the guy likes wants to punch any guy who stands too close or talks to his mate. I think of him making outrageous claims, always posting a guard, never letting her leave the house, etc. all without any cause. Having a literal demon serial killer who (at this point in the book) you believe RIPPED APART AN ENTIRE PACK OF WEREWOLVES and is killing everyone who is close to working on the same case as you and you are a half-fae who NEVER carries a weapon with you, doesn’t have magic, and no one beside your mom, stepdad, and dead bestie know that you can turn into a flashlight at will…..yeah it makes sense that the people who care about you would like you to have a guard. But that’s not “alphahole” behavior. Nor is when you’re starving yourself from guilt him being concerned and wanting you to eat, or wanting you to try to take care of yourself….that’s not “alphahole” behavior, it’s being a good friend/sibling. If someone wanted a guard on her PRIOR to her investigating the murder than yeah….that would be “alphahole” 100%. But that’s not what happened…one of the highlights of the book was Hunt calling out Bryce by telling her that she is actually the “alphahole” here.

• Fucking sunball = baseball. WHYYYYYY I thought it was soccer for so long until Hunt tossed on a “sunball cap”

• I thought that Violet Hall from Pucked was the most infuriating main character I have read in a long time until I met Bryce fucking Quinnland. It is a pet peeve of mine when a character acts like someone (usually lazy or a partier) and then gets pissed because people think they are how they act??? Like, if you act like an asshole then don’t be shocked if people think you are an asshole. Also she was someone who was terribly selfish and stupidly reckless for no reason for 99% of the book. Yeah she’s ride or die for her friends which is supposed to be her best quality but she is just terribly rude to so many people. Like take Lele for example. Bryce treated her horribly until Hunt was sold again, then was friends with Lele for like a week which someone equated to Lele being willing to die for her???

• Part two of that bullet above^: Why was everyone willing to die for Bryce? Maybe I hate Bryce because she reminds me too much of Jane Salone from The Bold Type with her ‘I’m always right’ attitude. But yeah, everyone is willing to die for her. I don’t get why though. Also everyone wants to fuck her. She can’t walk down the street without like five dudes wanting to fuck her. It was so annoying. Also how the hell has she not died by age 25!?!? There is a different between being bitchy with your algebra teacher versus being bitchy with some guy who could smite you before you blink. And all of them are like ‘oooh she’s not afraid of me like everyone else how charming’ and I’m just like NO. That’s like if I intentionally pissed off some mafia dom and instead of making an example out of me for dissing him in front of his mafia bros, he’s like ‘oooh you’re sassy wanna fuck?’ MAKES NO SENSE!!!

•Part three of the above^: okay before someone comes at me and says ‘well would you be saying the same things if she was a guy doing an acting this way’ well probably. I love the KATE DANIELS (Magic Bites) series. And Kate is a no-nonsense, can come across rude, and gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks about her. Kind of like Bryce, but less bitchy and has the power and skills to back up her recklessness. (No one around Bryce learns of her secret lightbright gift or of her sharpshooting skills until the very end so I am maintaining my ‘she’s reckless’ viewpoint based on everyone around her not knowing of her abilities when she does all of this dumbshit). Kate also is a fucking martyr who runs towards danger even when the odds are against her. Just like Bryce. But I love Kate and hate Bryce. So…yeah I think it was just a Bryce issue. It took until about 41% with the whole phone-Sandriel thing for me to stop finding her insufferable….but I still never really liked her after that...I could stand her for the occasional paragraph or two

• Speaking of martyrs…why is everyone one in this book!?!? NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE A MARTYR!!!

• Another reason I hate Bryce (yes I’m back on that Bryce shit) is because after Hunt broke her heart he immediate thought upon learning who he was going to be sold (back to his old owner who is a sadistic fuck) her thought was good, he deserves it and all he did was break her heart and not want to be a slave anymore and kept something he knew would destroy you (which yeah, keeping that secret furthered his cause but still…) and I just????? Have???? No words???? Like girl you have a RIGHT to be PISSED but jfc that doesn’t equate to TORTURE.

• Ugh and then her whole ‘take me instead’ bullshit was so reminiscent of that Jules and Emma whipping scene from Lady Midnight I almost gagged for the level of cheese and martyr-syndrome 

• Why is everyone described as “brown,” “golden brown,” or “tan”?! It’s like SJM is trying to not make everyone white but doesn’t want to fully commit…

• And was anyone uncomfortable/cringed at the ‘white angel wings are supreme to any wings with color’ bit....

• I hate books where the werewolves can talk outloud in human form. I cringed.

• Why was the calling people by their last name thing not consistent? I’ve read books before where characters flip between using another character’s first and last name, but there is context behind why they choose one or the other: the professional setting, if the person is happy or upset, who is being addressed, etc. But you’ll get Hunt calling Bryce “Bryce” and “Quinnland” within a sentence of each other? And literally every character did stuff like this. It was weird and not consistent at all.

Negatives About the Plot:

• This book really felt like three books in one: Part One (first 12ish%) being the day leading up to the Pack of Devil’s murder. And I do mean like every boring thing that happened. Part Two (the next 66ish%) being the murder investigation. Part Three (the last 22ish%) being where all the action occurred. The book felt like it couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. The summary promised a murder investigation so I was expecting it to be a KATE DANIELS-esque plot. But nothing of true importance really occurred during that investigation. We got some cool flashbacks with Danika, and some sweet moments between Hunt and Bryce…but that’s it. SJM isn’t Brandon with a Stormlight Archives (The Way of Kings) complicated interwoven plot. I think the book as whole would have been better if it was about 300 pages shorter.

• Nothing in the plot of true importance happened until the last 100 pages or so.

• I mean we literally got every single thing that happened during every single day of their investigation…it was….too much detail.

• When I got to 80% like every other chapter felt like the book should end. It could’ve ended on a cliffhanger. Like right after Hunt was found on that boat. But nope….

• Figures. SJM can’t have a main couple unless they both are super special. Did anyone else feel like she just recycled parts of ACOMAF in this book? Hunt: has wings and super special powers. Bryce: absorbs some super-fae juiced up power from a cauldron—er….I mean arch—to get extra powers and become the most super cool and super special fae in all existence because god forbid we have a heroine who isn’t the most physically powerful person ever. I mean, to hell with mental strength. Must be physically magically powerful or you’re no good!

• The only plot points that surprised me were the hunt being at the drug bust (because we got nothing from his povs that he was remotely interested in going back down that revolution road especially after his whole meeting with Briggs…still iffy with this one, because his thoughts in that cell sound like he actually was on board with it until he called it off because the drug is too dangerous but his call to the viper queen said she owed him a favor so…..) and Micah’s weird horn hard-on. Literally nothing else surprised me...

• I really though Reid would play a bigger role considering Bryce used to date him and is fam is responsible for that drug....but nope. The dude is like never even mentioned.

• Ugh...that villain speech. Maybe I'm just like...what's the point? Why not just zap the bitch why do you need to tell her your life story!?!?!

• Also let's be real, Danika's password never would have been allowed to be that simple nor remain unchanged for 2 years. But whatever.

• It’s also pretty cringe that Bryce freed Lele just for her to die…………..

• Why is Jesiba’s shop impenetrable (the building and cameras) until it’s convenient for it not to be…I mean it sounded like nothing could break into her building or the cameras but then… Micah just easily waltzed in there and Declan easily hacked into the security cameras….makes no sense but okayyyyyyy…..

• ....or about how the dog can teleport and undo locks until once again it's convenient for him not to be able to so she can dramatically save the day (look I also have issues with her valuing her pet's life over Lele's in that scene...also isn't the dog supposed to be like terrifying, it could've fought while her and Lele got out. not really sure how the water which delayed him like two seconds helped more than her dog would've....look, i love pets and i don't want him to die but i don't want Lele to die either!)

• Bryce and Hunt literally never have a talk about everything???? Like I get the world almost ended but neither of them had a thought like I know we need to talk about everything that happened on the boat. About if his love for Shahar trumps his love for me. But that can wait… Because those were all fears she had before but now vanished???? I get not wanted to have verbal talk but a thought from Bryce would’ve been nice.

• How can you run, carry a sword, and shoot a gun all at the same time? Still trying to figure out the logistics of that all....

• Why is SJM's adult book the least smutty thing she has written so far!?!?!?!?

• The love saves everyone and everything line is so fucking cheesy I can’t.

My Overall Feelings:

• The book couldn’t choose a plot. Did it want to be a crime book? Did it want to be ACOMAF? Who the fuck knows.

• This would have worked better as a TV series than a book. Especially that scene where Bryce is trying to save the city and everyone is just watching it happen on the jumbo screen at the summit. In book form it was just….weird….and felt disruptive...and someone could've started flying to help out. Plus I like watching shows with characters like Bryce but hate reading books with characters like her if that makes sense...

• Also if the summit is just between the leaders of CC then why did Sadriel have to be there? Why does it happen only every 10 years? Why does it have to take place outside of the city if no other leaders from other places are present?

• Why don’t we get a map of all of the other countries that were mentioned?

• This book was wayyyyyy too long. It would have been much better if it was reduced to 500ish pages instead.

• Also the character’s flip-flopped with their character development way too much. It wasn’t consistent.

• This is definitely one of the better SJM book’s I’ve read, but it won’t be one that I’ll reread. It is too long with too many boring bits in the middle.

• But hey! If you love SJM then you’ll probably love this book…

Content Warnings and Trigger Warnings: restricted eating, self-harm, drug use, alcohol consumption, implied rape, mentions of abusive relationships, suicidal thoughts, depression, emesis, slavery, terrorist attacks, grief, gun violence, death, murder, violence, torture

View all my reviews

[mimicofmodes]

Sanditon, episode 2 part i

At the beginning of the second episode, we’re basically fully departed from the novel fragment Jane Austen wrote. 

Sidney, looking nice in a triple-collared greatcoat, fully pretends to be looking at something over his shoulder so that he doesn’t have to obviously ignore Charlotte. Even though she’s wearing a knitted spencer that laces up the front (???) and her hair is wet from a swim and down, it’s rude!

We go off to church, and Miss Denham is for once not in black! Her hat is technically kind of like the late eighteenth century “spa hat” or “Devonshire hat” that was briefly in fashion, a tricorn made of black straw, usually decorated with colored plumes. The way she’s wearing it forward and to one side is very 1930s, which reminds me of the way Tuppence Middleton as Helene in the recentish War and Peace was costumed very 1930s. Maybe it signifies more modern sexual mores? Maybe it just looks saucy. Sir Edward’s plaid waistcoat is not so modern, more 1830s.

In church, the priest gives a creepily sensual sermon based on how pretty all the girls are, “blooms” that will soon be “plucked”. Arthur Parker, however, wishes that people would allow him to be a lily of the field. Honestly, he may be my favorite character in this? Everyone else is just so serious and dramatic.

I REALLY like Miss Denham’s (Esther’s) white dress here. Regency productions are often unwilling to put characters that are meant to be attractive in the high-necked morning dress they should be wearing before dinner, but they are not doing that here and I approve.

The vibe in the room at Denham Park is “Crimson Peak”.

And again, NICE gothic-influenced gown and frill on Clara. Lady Denham is dressed like it’s 1785 while planning her pineapple-and-Miss-Lambe luncheon and she opens up the next scene by complaining about Sir Edward’s behavior (wasting his time on “conquests” rather than getting married) while dressed like the dowager countess of Grantham again. Ah well.

Okay, this is some very modern hair on Esther - it looks like Rita Hayworth’s or Veronica Lake’s in the 1940s - but let’s give them credit, she is shown en négligé, undressed, which is the only situation in which a woman’s hair should be down in a Regency show. Charlotte, take note! This kind of gown, very loose and low-waisted, was just worn to cover up the underwear and would not be taken outside.

(They ruin it a couple of scenes later where she tells the servant to allow Lord Babington to come in and see her like this, but ... she’s also telling him that her brother brushes her hair, so there’s A Lot going on.)

After Charlotte has a nice scene with Mr. Parker where she shares his interest in building New Sanditon (take that, Sidney; she’s not looking down her nose at him), he takes her out to see the actual building. She also meets young Mr. Stringer (left), the cheerful cutie who’s the son of the foreman, who’s immediately sweet to her. I love him! Sidney comes along, looking gloomy (in that black greatcoat, making quite a contrast with his colorful brother) and smoking with a long ivory holder, and she rushes to apologize to him. He of course throws the apology back in her face, so she throws his rudeness back in his. Nice.

Sidney is called from a boxing match where he’s fighting a shirtless opponent (gritty! sexy! Andrew Davies is showing us the REAL REGENCY!) to come to Georgiana Lambe, who won’t leave her room or, I think, get dressed. She’s rightfully not happy about this party of Lady Denham’s, which is about showing off the exotic pineapple and the exotic visitor together. (I can’t help but think, as Georgiana rails against Sidney for taking her away from her home - a mystery that I am intrigued by; what exactly is his connection to her family? It’s a Davies addition - about the West Indian servant standing in the corner. How much of a choice did she have to come to England, and what does she think about it?)

As the party starts, we get nice looks at the outfits:

This is a bad shot of Lady Denham, but honestly, I’m so tired of the shtick of costuming her like it’s the 1780s ... she’s even wearing a fancy whitework apron. Tired! Clara is of course actually up-to-date, and her waistline is nicely high - a lot of Regency productions have the waists just a couple of inches too low, while this one is snugged up as high as possible. The neckline does have some issues, though: it should be much shallower and nobody would have been wearing a filmy, skimpy fichu that’s open over the cleavage.

Georgiana comes in and stands out immediately in the brightest and most expensive-looking gown in the room, especially dominating Mrs. Griffiths’s demure and plain purple one. (Mrs. Griffiths has the slightly-too-low waistline I was complaining about; Georgiana’s is just right.)

The Beaufort sisters, who I will probably never screencap again, look appropriately insipid and pale next to her as well.

Clara and Esther are once again also dressed in an opposing way. Instead of the ambiguous grey this time, though, Clara’s outfit is mostly white with some dark decoration as she clears up Esther’s misunderstanding and admits to being an innocent victim of sexual abuse; Esther, undaunted and motivated by jealousy over her brother, is still in sexy red.

In the dining hall, Georgiana busts out some creole to make Lady Denham feel awkward, which is excellent. Sidney is a pain in the ass about it, which is hypocritical of him given his blatant rudeness at other times. Arthur loves it, which is why he’s awesome. Sir Edward then goes on to flirt extremely badly with her.

Sidney entreats Charlotte - whose sleeves are divinely puffed and gathered, by the way, although she is also afflicted with the dreaded Flimsy Fichu - to give him her opinions on the company, and she rightly rebuffs him as she knows he’s just going to tell her she’s awful for having critical thoughts. 

Lady Denham then basically starts taunting Georgiana for being black and having a mother who was a slave, and then tries to play Charlotte and Georgiana off each other only for Charlotte to sympathize with G instead. She’s completely losing her head because Georgiana’s not playing along with the scheme to marry Sir Edward. When Georgiana fires back with a “we ain’t suited” about him, everyone is clearly on her side. A gleeful Arthur goes to cut her a piece of pineapple as a reward, and we find ...

D:

Lady Denham is so upset about the whole thing (despite it being entirely her fault) that she threatens to pull her investment from Sanditon, which would ruin Tom. Poor man.

(cont’d)

[girlreviewsgirlmovies]

Jane the Virgin (Episode 1)

Okay, I don’t want to be that person who reviews a show based on one episode, because unlike movies, a single episode is not a single piece that can always be taken individually but...

Someone please let me know if this gets better? Because the way this episode portrays sexuality in general is kind of rubbing me the wrong way. It’s not entirely in the text, but there is some significant virginity-related actual text that comes before it so my mind was very aware of whether it would actually put effort to subvert the message it gives in the first few minutes or reiterate the message throughout the rest. Let me break it down.

Pre-emptive disclaimer: keep in mind I am a deconstructionist. If the show later does things that go against my first impression and deconstruct itself, that’s great, but this is just the messages that I felt were apparent in episode one. 

So we open up on our protagonist Jane in her childhood years, getting the good old harmful chewed-gun monologue that has made girls think that losing their virginity makes them less valuable as people from her grandmother, whose using the “crumpled up flower” version. Cut to years later when Jane is an adult whose made the choice to stay a virgin. Now, every woman 100% has the right to make this choice themselves, but the show lets us know this by specifically showing Jane has the flower framed on her wall and when her boyfriend is making out pretty heavily with her she looks at it, and when a petal drops she cuts things off. This flower is set up to represent Jane, and shows that by making out with this guy Jane is loosing something, she’s going too far. Not exactly the best symbolism to launch at us right after another character actually gives us the “having sex makes you worth less as a person” monologue. 

Now, I’m okay with the character feeling this way if the show admits at some point that her mindset is unhealthy-- because seriously, if she’s so caught up in this virgin thing that she’s got the flower framed, she’s probably too caught up in it to have a healthy relationship with sex within marriage either. The problem with the flower or gum monologue is that there is no metaphorical equivalent of getting married for a chewed piece of gum. It’s value is diminished no matter what the context it was chewed in, and it’s a documented fact that some girls internalize this teaching so much that they still feel like they’ve lost something of themselves when they have sex within marriage. And it’s okay if the character feels this way and they address it, but I’m not going to be impressed if this character ever gets married and there isn’t backlash from this teaching without a whole lot of character development between now and then. Someone tell me if the show is worth my time and addresses the psychological implications in its premise or if it just glosses over this as if the chewed gum monologue is a healthy way to teach abstinence. 

Anyways, cut to some guy having a conversation with his wife. Now, she says one line that kind of rings the, “Maybe this person is a bit greedy” alarm bell that the only people who feel guilty about taking money are the ones who have too much, but this woman is labelled as his wife and she tells him to calm down and gets on her knees... cut from blowjob to the on-screen text calling her a “maneater”. Hilarious blowjob pun on the surface, considering the show then indicates that the man is unhappy in this relationship... but we haven’t seen that much yet, so this line not-so-subtly connects the fact this girl is a bad person with the fact she gives her own husband blowjobs before she even does anything bad. I mean, maybe it was just a blowjob pun and this girl is going to be a great person, but blowjobs are not the first thing I think of when I see the word “maneater”, it’s literally a word for slut, and it’s a word for women taking advantage of men without caring about them. Considering this show has already given us a speech of “virginity good, sex bad”, this scene gives me the impression that going forward the show will be reinforcing the opinions of the characters, not just representing characters with these opinions. Because Virgin Protagonist Good, Blowjob Lady Bad. 

Next concern comes in the show introducing a lesbian character. Now, representation is great... but the first impression we get of her wife is that the wife is loose (she’s having an affair). Then our lesbian character whose been cheated on makes a huge medical error that causes problems for our protagonist. Not to say that lesbians aren’t people who make mistakes just like all other people, especially (in terms of the doctor) when they have a good reason to be upset and off their game... but I’m not super impressed that within its first ten minutes the show is 2/2 on lesbian characters doing bad things. And honestly this kind of also connects to the umbrella of “Bad Women Have Sex” because these are two married lesbians.

Next comes what I was expecting, which is the character realizing there’s a misunderstanding... and the show goes, “Alas, it was too late”. Except, it wasn’t. Plan B... like, exists. Call Jane back, tell her immediately that she was mixed up with another patient, give her the pill, and the egg would be prevented from implanting. So this kind of connects back, for me, to the idea that once you have sex you’re a damaged person that the show has shown us so far. 

Beyond that, the show loses basically all of the doubt I was giving it for happening to make a character making a mistake whose a lesbian, because instead of calling Jane right back and trying to fix the problem, our lesbian doctor starts looking for a lawyer. Sorry, you just went from “character making an understandable mistake” to “character being a terrible person”. We do get another lesbian introduced here, though, so at least it’s now only 2/3 at the moment for bad people lesbians... no wait, the ex here tells her not to say anything because she could lose her license instead of, “Hey, you know, maybe don’t wreck a person’s life to try to protect yourself from a medical malpractice suit over medical malpractice you actually committed.” Maybe I’m having a strong reaction here because I’m childfree and afraid of pregnancy, but seriously, I’m counting this as 3/3 terrible lesbians here. 

And don’t get me wrong, I get that this is jumping through loops because the point of the show is a virgin pregnancy and it wouldn’t happen if these characters did the compassionate thing... but seriously, you had to introduce four people being dicks in the first episode when any of them could have been men, and you made all of them women and one of them a lesbian. Well, I mean, there was a dude who was a dick when the sperm-sample guy mistook Jane for someone he saw at a strip club but honestly, while I get her being insulted he thought she was a stripper, but it’s honestly that much a dick move. A stripper isn’t a bad person or anything... but this show is treating all sexual women as bad women so far so that kind of fits in with all that bad impression.

And honestly it just keeps going in introducing sexual women and then indicating they’re bad women. Jane’s mom checks out a guy on the bus and then goes off about how “slutty Crystal” is cheating and sending nudes. 

And now we’re back to Shitty Doctor and she’s literally told the father before she’s told Jane and MY GOD LADY YOU JUST REALLY HAVE TO BE THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON IN THIS SCENARIO DON’T YOU? She does at least offer an abortion pill very chill and nonchalantly, which is honestly more than I expected of this show at this point... 

Okay, so her boyfriend proposes despite their timeline, which makes me lose a little respect for him... but to be honest, I do think it’s a realistic portrayal of a virgin-until-marriage relationship for the most part. A lot of religious abstinence-only young people do marry early in part because of the no-sex-before-marriage thing. Even if he says that’s not it. There’d be no reason not to stick to the timeline, really, if they can’t raise kids right this moment (because like, he don’t know she pregnant), except so they can start having sex. 

I was ready to give this show some credit for showing Jane thinking about it and talking to her boyfriend before deciding about the abortion, but while I’m totally okay with the character deciding to keep the baby because that’s her choice... I am kind of disapproving of the fact that actually it starts right in on the idea 

Oh, and it turns out Jane’s mom got pregnant as a teenager for “being irresponsible” (Jane’s words, but still, the show has very much aligned us with her here as the straight man, and she literally says she doesn’t want to turn out like her mom) and “grandma made you [have me]”. And we’ve seriously moved into anti-abortion and punish-kids-with-pregnancy area here. Loosely, not as heavy-handed as the “sex is bad, virginity good” theme that the show has been hammering. 

And then we have the sperm-donor and his wife literally deciding they want the child before Jane even decides if she’s going to keep the child, let alone if she’s decided she wants a complete stranger in her child’s life just because it was his sperm. And now that they’d meeting, I’m realizing that telling the dad not only what happened but Jane’s name was a huge illegal privacy breech. Seriously, if this lady doesn’t get her license revoked by the end of this I’m going to scream... And like, by the time he tracks her down, she might’ve already had an abortion and he just like... assumes she hasn’t? I dunno, I’m just getting the jeebies from the way this subject is being handled. I’m glad she did actually consider it fully, it wasn’t just “Hey, I’m glad I wasn’t aborted so I won’t abort”. Like, she’s thought this through a lot. 

“You didn’t drop the cancer card”. First off, at least props to him for not doing that. She doesn’t owe him a biological child just because it’s his only chance and I’m glad that the show has kind of shown that. Given, I’m still seething about the fact that he even had the tools (name) to track her down... But in this same scene, we definitely learn Petra is a maneater in the non-punny sense of the word. And a gold-digger. So yeah, still pretty much all for all on sexual women getting a bad name here...

URG. Grandma on the other hand, did not think this through. She’s doing the whole “I’m glad you weren’t aborted so you can’t abort this baby will be the best part of your life!” thing. And we don’t address the fact Grandma was snooping in Jane’s room and feels personally fucking betrayed by what she thinks Jane chose to do with her own damn body. 

“I’ll convince your brother not to report you to the medical board.” UMMM JANE CAN/SHOULD DO THAT TOO. SHE’S THE ONE WHO’S PREGNANT NON-CONSENSUALLY. HELLO. 

“I want to support you no matter what, but I don’t want to support you with another guy’s kid.” Sorry, but this was Artificial Insemination Rape here. I mean, I’m glad this asshole showed his feathers and will be gone from her life, but seriously. His girlfriend basically has a rape baby and he’s telling her that if she doesn’t abort it he doesn’t want to be with her... god. I mean, I would break up with him and then abort it, to be honest, if I were her, but. Look, I’m just pissed that they’re representing the one pro-abortion argument besides Jane’s, who we know preemptively is going to be convinced away from because that’s the whole point of the show, by this absolute asshole just being an asshole. Jane says “Of course I get why” but like... you really shouldn’t. You really, really shouldn’t. You are the victim here of medical malpractice, and he can either treat the kid like his own if you chose to have it or he’s an asshole. DNA don’t mean shit. You didn’t cheat, so there shouldn’t be a problem. (Further convinced this guy proposed for sex, btw).

Just on a completely separate note here than the “sex bad, virgin good” thing this whole thing has going on... I’m not particularly impressed that this show broke up two interracial couples in the first episode. Nothing much to say on that, just... I dunno, with having three terrible lesbians and now this, just... not impressed. And then got them back together after we already know they’re unhealthy relationships... *sigh*

Positives: POC represent. (And I know it’s weird to put this as an end note after talking about how I think certain things the Latino characters are spouting which is probably a realistic thing... my problem isn’t that, it’s how the universe of the show in general appears to align with what they say and tell us that thematically we should be aligning with the things they’re saying.) That there are lesbian characters at all. And to be fair there is still the one thing against my read of “sex bad” in that Jane does get pregnant despite doing “everything right”, which is almost a hint of a subversion of the “sex uses you up” theme. Characters having opinions is fine, my only issue is that the show seems to be aligning us with some pretty toxic opinions, 

So just... someone tell me if the “sex bad” message gets better or not.

[ljones41]

"MARY POPPINS" (1964) Review

"MARY POPPINS" (1964) Review Looking at the 1964 movie about a magical nanny, one would be amazed that it took nearly 20 years to make it. I suspect that many did not predict it would become critically acclaimed. But if one is ever interested in the behind-the-scenes production of the film, one would have to read about it . . . or watch the 2013 movie, "SAVING MR. BANKS". I am here to discuss the actual movie, "MARY POPPINS". 

Based upon a selection of short stories written by P.L. Travers, "MARY POPPINS" tells the story of how two Edwardian Age children named Jane and Michael Banks, who request a particular kind of nanny after their latest one quits her job after enduring one too many pranks from the two siblings. Their father, a banker named George Banks, is too busy with his career and projecting the image of an ideal Englishman in order to pay attention to them. Their mother, although slightly more concerned about their welfare, is either caught up in the Suffregette Movement or too busy adhering to their father's demands. After the departure of their latest nanny, Katie Nanna, Jane and Michael write a letter describing what they want in a new nanny. But Mr. Banks has different ideas - a nanny who is an effective disciplinarian - and tears up their letter. However, the children's letter magically reaches a woman named Mary Poppins. She appears at the Banks' home the following morning to apply (or appoint herself) as Jane and Michael's new nanny. Despite his initial reservation, Mr. Banks is impressed by Mary Poppins' firm manner and hires her. With the help of friend named Bert, Mary Poppins introduces the Banks children to a new magical world. In doing so, she also manages to shake up Mr. Banks, his household and his livelihood. I first saw "MARY POPPINS" as a child and immediately fell in love with it. For years, I have regarded the movie as one of the highlights of my childhood and one of the best films to be released from the Disney Studios. But recent criticism of Mary Poppins as a sugar-coated character of no substance, and of the film as an infantilization of P.L. Travers' work and vision has led me to wonder if my childhood opinion of "MARY POPPINS" may have been overrated. After all, I had spent years judging the movie from the viewpoint of a child. How would I judge this movie from an adult who has spent the last ten to twenty years viewing movies with a critical eye? As many have recently pointed out, the Disney Studios made a good number of changes to Travers' stories. They also left out a great deal. To point out "all" of the changes and deletions would require an essay. And I am not interested in writing such an essay. Were there any aspects of "MARY POPPINS" that I disliked? Honestly? No. But there are aspects of the movie's production that I wish could have been handled in a slightly different manner. For quite some time, I never understood why "MARY POPPINS" was shot at the studio's Burbank lot, instead of at England's Pinewood Studios, where 1963's "DR. SYN, ALIAS THE SCARECROW" and "THE THREE LIVES OF THOMASINA" were filmed. Like the two 1963 films, "MARY POPPINS" mainly featured a cast of British actors. Only four cast members were American born - Dick Van Dyke, Ed Wynn, Jane Darwell and Reta Shaw. I feel that if the movie had been shot in Great Britain, its exterior shots of the Banks and Uncle Albert's neighborhoods and the City of London would have featured a bit more details - add more oomph to the movie's visual British style. As for Tony Walton's costume designs, I must admit that I found them rather charming, if not particularly mind blowing. However . . . I could not help but wonder why Mary Poppins' skirts seemed a tad short for 1909-10 fashions. And I also end up wondering why Winifred Banks' wardrobe seemed so limited. Unless I am mistaken, actress Glynis Johns wore only three costumes in "MARY POPPINS". In fact, I suspect she wore one particular costume twice. And Walton designed her costumes either in yellow, powder blue or a combination of both colors. Although I found Johns' costumes rather charming, they also struck me as a bit limited. Although the film's production designs struck me as a bit limited, I cannot help but admire the film's cinematography and visual style. Edward Colman earned a much deserved nomination for his colorful and sharp photography for the film. Colman's photography also enhanced Tony Walton's pthe matte paintings created by Peter Ellenshaw. Since "MARY POPPINS" was filmed on the Disney Studios backlot in Burbank, Walt Disney and director Robert Stevenson not only had to depend upon Carroll Clark and William H. Tuntke's art direction, but also the visual effects and special effects teams. But "MARY POPPINS" was set in Edwardian London. And since Disney, Stevenson and the film's crew could not film in Great Britain, the production team had to rely on Ellenshaw's beautiful and colorful matte paintings to add to the film's visual look for its setting, as shown in the following images:

"MARY POPPINS" may not have been free of any flaws, but it still remains one of my favorite movies of all time. I had earlier pointed out that some critics have pointed out the movie's failure to be completely faithful to Travers' stories. Honestly? I do not care. It would have been near impossible for any screenwriter to be completely faithful. Travers did not write a single novel. She wrote a series of short stories and novellas. And since it is impossible for a screenplay to be completely faithful to a novel or stage play, what on earth made these critics believe Bill Walsh and Don DaGradi could have been completely faithful to Travers' stories and still fashion a single narrative for the film? Ridiculous! Personally, I am amazed that Walsh and DaGradi managed to wring a single narrative out of so many short stories in the first place. That must have not been an easy task. As the 2013 movie, "SAVING MR. BANKS", had pointed out, Mary Poppins' purpose within the Banks' household was to save George Banks and his relationship with his children. And she did this in the most interesting way. Mary Poppins used her role as the children's nanny to indirectly affect the family's patriarch. Instead of utilizing traditional means to care for the children, Mary Poppins exposed Jane and Michael to her world - using magic to clean the nursery, an excursion into a sidewalk chalk drawing of the English countryside, and an afternoon tea party on the ceiling with Mary Poppins' Uncle Albert. The children's revelations of their activities naturally shook up Mr. Banks, along with the magical nanny's subversive and cheerful impact upon the Banks' household. Unable to accept Mary Poppins' impact upon his family and servants, Mr. Banks threatened to fire her. And this is where Mary Poppins, as the film's trickster, pulled off a pièce de résistance. Before Mr. Banks could fire her, Mary Poppins managed to manipulate him into agreeing to take the children on an outing to his bank. However, the night before this outing, she decides to sing a song to the children about an old beggar woman who sits on the steps of St Paul's Cathedral, selling bags of breadcrumbs to passers-by for twopence a bag,so that they can feed the many pigeons that surround her. Between the song and the children spotting the Bird Woman on their way to their father's bank set in motion the chaos that followed and Mary Poppins' plan to save Mr. Banks' relationship with his family. Brilliant. If the narrative that Walsh and DaGradi had created from Travers' short stories had struck me as brilliant, the songs written by Robert and Richard Sherman seemed even more so. Aside from the performances, the Sherman Brothers' songs seemed to be the heart and soul of the film. If someone was to ask me which song was my favorite, I honestly could not answer that question. Aside from two of them, I found most of their songs very memorable . . . even to this day. One of their songs - "Chim Chim Cher-ee" - was nominated for the Best Song Oscar and won. However, I must admit to being surprised that the beautiful and rather haunting "Feed the Birds" failed to garner any kind of nomination or award. Perhaps it was not as fully appreciated back in 1964-65 as it is today. Both "Jolly Holiday" and </i>"Step in Time"</i> were not only entertaining songs, but they also provided the background for some very entertaining dance numbers. The first featured the very agile Dick Van Dyke and a quartet of animated pigeons. I found this dance sequence both funny and a joy to watch. You have to see it to believe it. As for the second song, it was featured in a show stopping dance routine that involved Van Dyke, Julie Andrews . . . and chimney sweeps. Between the song, the dance routines choreographed by the husband-and-wife team of Marc Breaux and Dee Dee Wood, and the London rooftops background, the entire sequence is one of the film's highlights. Another addition to the magic of "MARY POPPINS" proved to be its cast. The movie featured excellent voice performances in the chalk picture sequence from the likes of J. Pat O'Malley, Marni Nixon, Dallas McKinnon, and Alan Napier. Even Julie Andrews and David Tomlinson also provided voice performances. The supporting and cameo performances featured in this film were marvelous. The movie included excellent performances from Reginald Owen as the cankerous Admiral Boom; Elsa Lancaster as the disgruntled Katie Nanny; Arthur Treacher as the kindly Constable Jones; Arthur Malet as Mr. Dawes Jr., one of the board members of the bank that employed Mr. Banks; Hermione Baddeley and Reta Shaw as Ellen and Mrs. Brill, the Banks' gregarious maid and cook; and a poignant cameo by Jane Darwell, who was convinced by Disney to make a brief appearance as the Bird Lady. "MARY POPPINS" marked the second teaming of Karen Dotrice and Matthew Garber, who portrayed the magical nanny's charges, Jane and Michael Banks. It seemed pretty simple to me why Disney had used this pair in three movies. Not only were they were first-rate actors who more than kept up with the likes of Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke and David Tomlinson; they also had a great screen chemistry. In P.L. Travers' books, Mrs. Banks was an easily intimidated woman who could barely maintain control of her household. In this movie, Mrs. Banks was a woman more occupied by her suffragette activities than her children. And she was portrayed by actress Glynis Johns. The latter gave a marvelous performance as a woman who seemed to hid her inability to protect her children from their father's neglect with a few sympathetic words and her own brand of neglect. If I had to select the most complex character in this movie, it would have to be Mr. George Banks of 17 Cherry Tree Lane and the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank. Thanks to actor David Tomlinson in his first appearance in a Disney film, movie audiences were treated to a superb performance. Tomlinson skillfully transformed George Banks from a highly driven and disciplined man who was obsessed with order to an affectionate family man who had found a new lease on life. It almost seems criminal that the actor never received any kind of acting nomination for his performance. Unlike Tomlinson, Dick Van Dyke did receive a Golden Globe nomination for Best Actor, thanks to his performance as Bert, Mary Poppins' closest friend and jack-of-all-trades. Whenever Van Dyke's performance in "MARY POPPINS" is mentioned, people seemed to comment on his Cockney accent. Granted, it was not perfect. But I have never considered it to be a travesty. I have noticed that whenever he spoke words with a long vowell, his Cockney accent seemed exaggerated. Otherwise, I had no problems. And if someone like Sean Connery can win an Oscar for portraying an Irish immigrant with a Scots accent, I see no reason why Van Dyke's portrayal of Bert should only be condemned for a questionable Cockney accent. Besides . . . accent aside, Van Dyke gave a superb performance in so many other ways. He captured Bert's charm, wit and a slight talent for manipulation with such perfection. Van Dyke was also given the opportunity to portray another character in the film - namely Mr. Banks' elderly boss, Mr. Dawes Senior of the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank. How often does one find an actor in his late 30s effectively portraying a 90-something year-old man? In my personal experience, very rarely. And to put the cherry on the icing, Van Dyke was never criticized for his British accent, while portraying Mr. Dawes . . . for good reason. Although there have been hints of his talent as a song-and-dance man in his first television series, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW", this movie really provided an opportunity to convey how truly talented he could be. Julie Andrews managed to capture the big prize for her portrayal of the film's leading character, Mary Poppins. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress. Whereas many were distracted from Van Dyke's performance because of his accent, others have lamented on how Andrews' portrayal of the magical nanny seemed a far cry from her literary version. Granted, the latter was a plain-looking woman, somewhat more pompous and strict. Although Andrews' Mary Poppins was more beautiful looking and somewhat warmer, she could still be quite sharp-tongued - especially when disciplining Jane and Michael. Andrews also did a great job in conveying Mary Poppins' no nonsense behavior and massive talent for emotional manipulation. That one scene in which the magical nanny manipulated Mr. Banks into taking his children on an outing to his bank was just a joy to watch. Thanks to her skillful and award winning performance, Andrews managed to convey the reason why Mary Poppins is regarded as a trickster. What else can I say about "MARY POPPINS"? Over fifty years have passed since the movie's initial release and it is still - at least to me - a magical movie to watch. Yes, it had a few flaws. What movie did not? But thanks to P.L. Travers' stories, Robert Stevenson's marvelous direction, Robert and Richard Sherman's music, the movie's visual effects teams and the superb cast led by Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke; "MARY POPPINS" remained timeless and magical as ever.

[samanthagerardlma11-blog]

Acting for Musical Theatre 1

In our Acting for Musical Theatre class, we are performing two contrasting pieces in our assigned groups in which we will be practising over a number of weeks before presenting back to our teacher and the rest of the class. The two contrasting pieces that we have been given are classical and contemporary scripts, one of them being the Wizard of Oz which is a classical movie from the 1930′s. The differences between classic and contemporary are that anything before the year 1956 was placed in the ‘Classical Musical’ category, more known as the ‘Golden age era’. For example, musicals before 1956 which were well known classics are Singin’ in the Rain, Guys and Dolls, The Sound of Music, Calamity Jane and many more. However, you would class musicals like We Will Rock You, Dear Evan Hansen, In The Heights and Hamilton  as Contemporary as they where introduced after the 1960′s.

During our research in classical musical theatre, we were able to discover how Stanislavski’s technique was contributed. Konstantin Stanislavski was a Russian theatre practitioner who created a method of acting which influenced millions of actors and shows around the world since. Stanislavski would have very smart methods he would give to his actors, by having them think of the seven questions who, where, when, what (objective), why, how and what (obstacle) so it would help them find a way to understand the motivation, needs and desires of their character. Another famous method of his was the “Magic IF” which he described as an ability for an actor to imagine their self in a set of circumstances and have them question what they would do in that given situation and envision the consequences of facing it. Classical style of musical theatre back in the day was very difficult to find emotions, thoughts, opinions, etc. in the text so the actors would use colourful voices to portray their character. This classical style of acting is still used in modern day as you will you find actors performing in classics still alive and well like Guys and Dolls using bright and colourful acting compared to the more contemporary style of acting. Another enormous influencer of acting styles was a man named Bertolt Brecht who motivated ‘the alienation affect’, this was a method of him wanting to constantly remind his audience that they were watching fiction (a story). There was a number of ways Brecht had his actors execute this style and challenge them by using minimal lights, props and costumes so they didn’t have these things to rely on and help them become their character. Brecht had a strong rule of not wanting his audience to emotionally connect to the characters as he wanted to keep them aware that they were all watching fiction. By doing this he would have an actor who had been given multiple characters change onstage in front of the audience instead of going off stage and even give the characters names like “Milkman” and “Lady #2″. 

4th October 2017- During acting class today, we were split off back into our assigned groups after being given our Classical Acting piece, which was a scene taken from the famous movie ‘The Wizard of Oz’. Richard wanted us all to pick a character and then as a group read aloud the script to the class as if we were in a read through for the show. The character I ended up with was Aunty Em, I was happy to get this role as characters of very old age are challenges for me so I knew that doing my research and using Stanislavski’s acting method will really benefit my performance. After the whole class completed their own read through of the script, the feedback given to everyone generally was to slow down our speech with projection to keep the audience interested and use more characterisation whilst using different dynamics; but staying true to the character. In addition, I was really impressed with Holly’s characterisation for Aunty Em in which I praised her for and I want to look more at how Holly conveys and stays true to the character as she made it really enjoyable to watch her perform Aunty Em (even though her character is not the sweetest).

At home i wanted to research more into the Wizard of Oz’s synopsis and found an online movie site (IMDb) which gave me the summary of the movie. ‘When a tornado rips through Kansas, Dorothy and her dog, Toto, are whisked away in their house to the magical land of Oz. They follow the Yellow Brick Road toward the Emerald City to meet the Wizard, and en route they meet a Scarecrow that needs a brain, a Tin Man missing a heart, and a Cowardly Lion who wants courage. The wizard asks the group to bring him the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West to earn his help.’

11th October 2017- Our group scene was blocked after feeling confident with the characterisation ’s of the script we had done. However, we noticed that after putting our scripts to the side, some people would still trip on their lines which set us back in the first part but after fixing the slip up’s we eventually blocked the whole scene. Richard asked the class to perform a ad through again and suggested really listening to the accent used in the film,as our problem was using an American accent but not southern and classical like the accents used in the original movie. Whilst at home I watched a lot of scenes from the movie to listen to the dialect and speech pattern that the actors used to help my accent; as I felt I was very close to it but needed more practise.            

12th October 2017- First performance to the class with our blocked scene went well, even despite the circumstances of a member in our group no longer being available which Elyse had to fill in for the time being. Personally I felt that I used my character differently from the class as I noticed whilst everyone’s character for Aunty Em was very strict and stern in the scene, I took a more kind approach but still showing a strict side to my character. Our feedback was very helpful to us, Richard told us that we needed to bring the volume and diction down at the beginning of our scene to create dynamics and mentioned a few blocking spaces that needed fixing. For example, the part in which Aunty Em joins Dorothy and the uncles we all end up in a straight line and are too close together. ur group discussed this issue and easily resolved it by taking a few steps apart from each other and changing the line by scattering apart a little and using levels (eg. one of the uncles being lumped over from exhaustion while others are stood tall and full of energy).

1st November 2017- We were given our second script which was ‘Dream Girls’ and I was given the role Deena. Dream Girls is a story based in Detroit, the early 1960s. Curtis Taylor, Jr., a car salesman, breaks into the music business with big dreams. He signs a trio of young women, the Dreamettes, gets them a job backing an R&B performer, James “Thunder” Early, establishes his own record label and starts wheeling and dealing. When Early flames out, Curtis makes the Dreamettes into headliners as the Dreams, but not before demoting their hefty big-voiced lead singer, Effie White, and putting the softer-voiced looker, Deena Jones, in front. Soon after, he fires Effie, sends her into a life of proud poverty, and takes Deena and the Dreams to the top. This synopsis is according to IMDb, after researching more details on the show on characters. From what I learned from my character research, Deena has a kind heart and has a good relationship with the others, but will stand up for her self when need be. For example, although she loves Effie and know she is talented, she doesn’t want her own best friend to hold her back from her dreams which results in Effie resenting Deena and ending the friendship while the others stick with Deena. While rehearsing the scene with my group, I used mostly Stanislavski techniques such as naturalism and diving into emotional memories to help bring life to the character. For example, when I come back in the scene and argue back to Effie after being called names, I thought back to a time when I found out my best friend was saying things about me behind my back and used the anger from the memory to use in the character. I do find this really helpful with some scenes and I like to play around with different techniques.

During our final performance for the Wizard of Oz scene, our group took the Richard’s advice and stopped the the group from developing into a straight line and spoke as loud as we could. I personally felt like I could’ve done better but the group in general was really strong. The reason I could’ve better was because I still didn’t feel like I could fully connect to the character as it was challenging to portray a very old person. Acting with Richard helps our class with our own shows a lot. For example, I am in the third year show “9to5” and the Brecht acting style is used in this aswell as the Wizard of Oz. Interpreting this acting style in rehearsals and actual performance will benefit my acting for musical theatre skills. Brecht was also used in my final performance for Wizard of Oz as we used mime technique when the uncles were pretending to lift heavy objects and fix mechanics on the farm. We also used freeze frame between the uncles when Tina and Meg come stage forward for their mini scene. Personally I used Brecht with mime technique when pretending to arrange the chicks on the farm and carrying fried crullers for the uncles. Because 9to5 and Dream Girls are both contemporary theatre, I have taken the acting styles that are used i both shows such as realism and naturalistic acting, which is a Stanislavski technique . 

REFERENCE:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032138/plotsummary 

 IMDB,(2017) available at www.IMDB.com (accessed 6th October 2017)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443489/?ref_=nv_sr_1 

 IMDB,(2017), available at www.IMDB.com (accessed 15th October 2017)

[earlgreytea68]

On Co-Writing

When I first started writing fic, it was entirely co-written.

I should back up. I’ve written stories since I can remember, but my stories were entirely original stories. I didn’t know fic existed until I was in my 20s (let me tell you, I wish I’d come of age in a time when I knew fic existed), and then I wasn’t actually actively engaged in fandom activities until later in my 20s (THANK YOU, TELEVISION WITHOUT PITY, FOR CHANGING MY LIFE), and then I met these people who wanted to co-write some fic. And at first I was like, “No, no, I don’t do fic, I think I’m too attached to my own characters.” These were clearly FAMOUS LAST WORDS. (Although I have often felt that the fic I write is so heavily full of original characters, and at the moment I’ve landed solemnly on a pair of characters so tenuously based in canon they might as well be original, that I’m not entirely convinced I was wrong with my original assessment of myself as a writer.)

Anyway, I started co-writing with this group of people and I had an unexpected blast. I had never co-written before, and it was interesting to write in that environment, and I had fun.

But then what happened was I got more comfortable writing fic and suddenly I wanted things that were mine? Which sounds selfish, but I think writers are all selfish to some extent. I started writing a babyfic on my own because one of my co-writers hated the genre, and then I got attached to my babyfic. My characters (most of whom were original, by the end of that series the stories were ENTIRELY about my original characters with tiny little side cameos by fic characters) became mine, and I’ve never been one of those writers who doesn’t want other people to play, like, people wrote fic about my original characters and I thought that was delightful, but I didn’t have any desire to share the creating of them with others. Like, I wanted what happened to them in my head to be entirely mine. And, also, I was having so much fun writing that I didn’t want to relinquish that to anyone else. I was so delighted by what I was writing that I didn’t want to give up writing any word of it. There were times when the words were hard but I still felt protective over that process, over that time I had with all of them, in my head.

But the great thing about fic is that you can, over time, write so much of it, in so many different ways, that your writing process is allowed to keep changing again and again and again. You write fics for people, you write fics in reaction to people, you write long fics, you write short fics, you try new genres, you try new characters, you try new verb tenses, you try new POVs. You write the same moment over and over again, you write the same story over and over again, seeing what you like about it and don’t like about it. And every time you do it you can do it slightly differently. So sometimes I write in furtive secret and no one knows I’m doing it until it’s done and revealed, ta-da. And sometimes I write much more collaboratively. Like, Next Big Thing was an incredible shift in writing process where I felt like I was co-writing with dozens of people, and it taught me a lot and it made the fic much better.

All the same, I never really felt this burning desire to co-write properly again. Wait, I should clarify that. I’ve never felt a burning desire to do it fic-ly. I have periodically thought it would be nice to do it for original stuff, because then I could have someone to do plot and I could just write banter like I do for fic. Like, wouldn’t that be nice?? SOMEONE ELSE could do all the hard parts!! You could wake up in the morning and your story would ALREADY BE WRITTEN.

So. I am happy to say that I have found SOMEONE ELSE to do all the hard parts, and it is fascinating.

The first time I co-wrote, I was a very young writer, and I had never put anything out into the public, and I’d never really gotten feedback, and I’d never really thought about writing. Now I have spent so much time thinking about writing. I worked myself through my relationship with writing while depressed at the law firm, and then I rediscovered my relationship with writing, and then I wrote original stuff, and then I wrote more fic, and then I found a balance between original stuff and fic, and the whole time I was doing this I was thinking so hard about all of this, because then in addition I made my job thinking about the process of creativity, and so this is all to say that co-writing at this stage in My Life (™ old person having midlife crisis or something???? I mean, not really, but who says “this stage in my life,” I am ridiculous) has been so interesting.

It started earlier this month, and I don’t even really remember how it was that @bookshop happened to DM me a question. But the question spiraled and spiraled and spiraled and spiraled, into this complicated plot that I characterized as “Hipster My Fair Lady” and then she turned into “Hipster Emma” because she is obsessed with Emma (if you didn’t know this, YOU WILL once I am done fully documenting this process, I have no doubt), and by 3:04PM on Sunday we were writing scenes together and by 6:36PM we’d established our ship and literally by 6:40PM I was like, “Wait, I feel like I might need to start writing this RIGHT NOW.” So then there was a document (it’s called “Look What I’ve Done,” which is not a title except for how now that I reflect upon it it’s kind of a fitting title and let’s not even get into titles, lolololol) and then there were scenes and then another scene and then, I don’t know, 20,000 words later or something not only is there also a three-thousand-word outline (AND I HAVE NEVER OUTLINED A WRITING PROJECT EVER, THANKS, AJA) but Aja is busy trying to figure out the plot of *future novels* around these characters.

See, for instance:

Aja: jane's book would be hysterical

Me: That's if you were a responsible writer.

Aja: her voice would be amazing

Me: Because I'm me, every one of these books would just be Matt being like, "Now we set these two people up!" And in the end they would all be about Matt. Because that's how I roll.

Aja: that's not true, you'd fall equally in love being in everyone else's head as you went along

Me: Ha, you are like the Jane Voice of Wisdom. Like, "Snap out of it, you'd be fine, you're so over-dramatic."

And meanwhile I’m like, “It’ll all just happen, just let me live in Matt’s head for a little while, la la la.”

And because I write that way, which I would call maybe instinctive or intuitive if I didn’t think that sounded obnoxious (I said later that my writing has had a trajectory toward “thoughtless sprawl of fluff”), I often don’t realize the point of what I’m writing until later. Which cracks Aja up, who spots the point of it almost immediately. So we have conversations like this:

Me: It just occurred to me how obvious Matt's need for affection is personified by how compulsively he is constantly cuddling Patrick's cat.

Aja: did you just now notice that

This process had been about watching how much our writing styles are similar enough to mesh but different enough to complement. Like, very early on I wrote a scene where the main group of characters are all at a bar together. My focus in this scene was on this very particular plot point that I felt had to happen here to drive the story forward. There were too many characters for me to deal with it, so I shoved a few of them off into a conversation by themselves and stuck with my POV character and a couple of others who I felt were relevant.

And then Aja came and carefully and cheerfully integrated everybody back into the conversation. As we discussed later:

Me: Ha, like literally I wrote a big group scene and ignored half the characters. And Aja was like, "BUT THEY ALL HAVE AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY AT THIS PARTY," and went back and added it in, lol And I was like, "I would have just cut all of these characters."

Aja: And my first question was WHO'S SITTING NEXT TO WHO

So then, when the next group scene came up, the very first thing I did was make a seating chart in my head, and make sure that I was worried about the emotional journey of every single character, and not just my OTP. I have never done that before, just like I’ve never done an outline before.

But Aja is a planner. Aja is constantly processing things first. Aja will say, “This needs to happen,” and I say, “What? No. Why?” and then Aja has this really cogent, well-thought-out thing about it, and I’m like, “Oh, okay, wait, you’re right.” *I,* however, literally cannot do this. I cannot plan this way. I keep writing and writing and writing scenes of this story because it’s the only way I can make it make sense. I’ll say kind of vaguely, “I know what has to happen, I know I can make it work, just let me write it.” And then I write it. And then Aja very nicely comes in and is like, “But the structure and the pacing,” and makes the plot make sense again.

It’s just been interesting to watch how I operate as a writer and have it thrown into stark relief because of how I see her doing it differently and so I thought I would try to document this process as it moves forward because half of the fun of the project has been watching the surprising-to-me ways in which it has taken shape. So there will probably be periodic co-writing updates and everyone should prepare themselves for that. For now, here is some of what we have discussed:

Me: Okay, so this is so funny. Because I am currently co-writing something with @bookshop And she is like, "What's the structure? What's the pacing? We should have an outline." And I'm like, "NO WAY, I WILL JUST RAMBLE ON FOR SEVERAL THOUSAND WORDS AND YOU CAN FIGURE THE PLOT OUT LATER." Writing is so cool, everyone does it such a different way! I said something last night that was like, "The worst thing in the entire universe is having to re-write something." And she was like, "All I do is re-write.” And I was like, AHAHAHAHAHA

Aja: it's a lot of fun because we both have totally opposite approaches to the characters, too, because all I want to do is make them all flawed and giving them CONFLICT and sending them on personal growth journeys and explore who hates who and why, lol, and EGT is focused on making sure they are happy and reassuring them that they are loved and it is kind of beautiful

Me: OMG this is SUCH TRUTH.

Aja: (But we both want to do this through banter and UST lol)

Me: Every single thing I wrote last night was like, "Matt's going to have a super-great night and everyone's going to love him because he's going to have a tough time ahead of him when Aja gets back to him"

And I also think it’s interesting how we’ve revealed how our views of ourselves are slightly skewed. Like, I watch Aja characterize herself as being very worried about pacing, and being the one who is willing to let her characters suffer, while I just want everyone to be happy and nice all the time. And it’s true, I do want everyone to be happy and nice all the time, but I find her to be incredibly kind. Like, much kinder than I am, frankly. Much more worried about every single character. I tend to do this thing where I fall so much in love with my main characters that others can get short-changed. This came out in this conversation:

Aja: ugh i want jonah to end up with someone nice and hunky though let's face it, it will probably be someone named Royce or Gentry

Me: lololololol You are so nice to everybody. You are actually a way nicer writer than me, lol Everything we know about each other is a lie.

Aja: ahahaha see i just want to advance our sympathy for everyone through conflict akdfsja;s you just want everyone to be nice all the time

Me: Ahahahaha That sounds so boring when you say it that way!

Aja: no but i don't mean it to be ahaha and if they cannot be nice then you want to like make it clear why they are fundamentally opposed to Our Heroes

Me: Yes. And Not As Wonderful as Our Heroes. Who are mainly Wonderful In All Ways.

Her: whereas I am like, no! Our Heroes are Fundamentally Flawed which prevents them from seeing how their Nemesis are Also Struggling and How They Are More Alike Than They Realize, and If They Could All Just Communicate Honestly Like Adults they could all MOVE FORWARD AND BE FRIENDS, OR AT LEAST TOLERATE ONE ANOTHER PEACEFULLY

Me: WE ARE JUST STARTING OUR STORIES AT DIFFERENT POINTS. Like, I just had this moment of realizing that. Because you wrote all that and I was like, "Right. Exactly. And then after that everyone is nice." And that's where I would start.

Aja: this is a nice thought but also it is wrong because I genuinely read all 84,205,934,520,342,943 words of NBT expecting that you would eventually give Alec a tragic backstory that explained all of his actions and allowed him to eventually reconcile and find common ground with A/E hahaha

Me: But no, that's why I never did that. YOU would have done that. I was just like, "He's hopeless." I actually was going to make him MORE of a villain and pulled back. Because I decided I just wanted him pathetic, lol You would have TOTALLY been worried about Alec in every single scene. This is hilarious to me.

Aja: I was prepared for him to be hopeless but i was also thinking he would be, like, a pathetic hopeless villain who we were eventually going to empathize with unwillingly to some degree and i was i was very worried about alec haha

Me: You were legit the only person worried about Alec.

She is worried about EVERYONE. She wants EVERYONE to be happy. It’s very sweet. I write a scene that I find important solely because it allows the OTP to share what I considered a sweet inside-joke-y moment, and she was like, “Right, but Jonah? In the background? I’m expanding that because x,” and I was like, “Ohhhh, I didn’t even realize that about Jonah.”

(Also, I would like to lodge the complaint that I have been running around worried I’d let people be happy too soon, and Aja has the OTP kissing on literally the first page.)

Aja, btw, also doesn’t really care for babyfic. She has already gently prepared me for the fact that our OTP probably shouldn’t have a baby. She’s not wrong. BUT STILL. I am doomed to seek out co-writers who are my opposite. And, as she pointed out, that’s not actually a bad thing.

The best part of the whole thing is when things accidentally work out perfectly. When I write a very long exchange of dialogue entirely because I like the joke (this is a thing I do pretty much constantly, I sense it will drive her crazy by the end, this morning she rightly vetoed a plot point and I was like, “I already had a line about it!”) and then she adds a secondary character’s line that I ignored because I have OTP tunnel vision and then suddenly my funny dialogue literally becomes CHARACTER MOTIVATION, like, it’s amazing. And then she says, “We are the best writers ever,” and I say, “Yeah, we kind of are, huh?”

And in that way, we are perfectly complementary.

(I’ll get back to you when we talk about titles again. This was the conversation we’ve had so far about titles:

Me: Let's not think title because you're going to want a long one and I'm going to want a short one and we'll have to have an epic falling out over this, lololol

Aja: scream)

P.S. I said, Aja, are you okay with my posting this? And she responded:

you should make it clear that YOU HAVE DONE MOST OF THE WRITING

while i am just angsting about the writing hahaha

And I feel like maybe that is our understanding of our writing styles in a nutshell

[robbieinterviews]

Margot Robbie interview: The ex-Neighbours star on soaps, slapping Leonardo DiCaprio and insulting Will Smith, 2015

Hollywood has never shied away from casting a celestial glow on its leading ladies, an aura of unreality often serving to enhance a new star actress’s glamorous profile. Yet Margot Robbie, the Australian blonde ingenue who came to prominence just over a year ago when she starred opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Streetand who now plays Will Smith’s lover in new crime comedy-drama Focus, could not be more down to earth.

She still lives in a flatshare in Clapham, south London with a group of Australian friends, and her holiday tastes are hardly less modest. “Any time I have any time off I try to travel,” she tells me when we meet at a hotel in downtown Manhattan. “I always have more fun when I stay in hostels – you just meet so many more people. A hotel makes sense when you’re doing work things but travelling you don’t really get a feel for a place if you’re in a hotel. I find it seems to make it all feel like everywhere else. B&Bs and hostels are generally the best way to do it.”

While filming Tarzan – in which she plays Jane – last summer in London, Robbie stayed in a hostel in Dublin. Even though it was post-Wolf of Wall Street, she remained under the radar. “I think I look so different to what people see on screen,” she says, “that people don’t make the association or think, ‘oh it looks like the chick from Wolf… but it couldn’t possibly be her because why would she be in a hostel in Dublin? In fact a couple of people did say that to me and I was like, ‘no that’s weird!’ They said, ‘I thought that would be weird.’ I didn’t have any problems.”

Robbie, 24, is endearingly candid without ever lapsing into the kind of indiscretion that would induce palpitations in her publicist. Her determination to keep things real accounts for her ascent to stardom. While playing out an argument scene during her audition for The Wolf of Wall Street, she won over Martin Scorsese by slapping DiCaprio hard in the face. For Focus, she insulted Will Smith. “We started improvising a little bit, Will said something and I called him a d**k,” she recalls. “Apparently when he walked out he said: ‘I like her. I think she’s the right one.’ They were like, ‘you like her because she called you a d**k’. It ended up becoming a running joke in the film.”

Another factor accounting for why Robbie landed her role in Focus came in her sartorial choice for the audition. Robbie got a call from her agents while she was on holiday with her brother on the Croatian island of Hvar. She hurriedly flew out but, “by the time I got to New York, they [the airline] had lost my luggage and I had been wearing these wet clothes, ripped shorts and a pyjama shirt”. She ran to Topshop in Manhattan “and bought up a button-up shirt but the rest of me looked so shabby. Later the producer Denise [Di Novi] said: ‘We loved you – you came in very fresh-faced in ripped shorts.’ That wasn’t a strategic wardrobe choice. That was because I had literally no other options at the time!”

Focus chronicles the globetrotting relationship between two con artists Jess (Robbie) and Nicky, played by Smith, who hustle their way through the US and Argentina, pulling off a particularly audacious scam at an American Football match. Their characters are also lovers, yet there is a 22-year age difference. When I bring this up, Robbie fully confronts the issue: “I’m equally as surprised as anyone. Initially I thought: ‘I would never get cast opposite Will Smith! No-one would ever buy it with the age difference, our personalities.’ I can’t think of a couple that makes less sense in every way, shape and form. A lot of people, including Will probably, were like, ‘I don’t see this working’, and then we got in the room. It ended up that we have similar personalities and it worked fine. We got along immediately and had this immediate rapport. Chemistry’s a weird thing…” Robbie was drawn to Focus because of its writer-director pair Glenn Ficarra and John Requa whose previous credits include Crazy, Stupid, Love and I Love You Phillip Morris. She also cites the lure of learning about the cerebral aspect of con artistry: “There’s an intellectual side. People negotiate their way around how a human mind works and find blind points. That’s how people steal effectively. That was the first thing that attracted me to it – I got to learn how to do actual pick-pocketing.”

She was schooled in the art of the steal by Apollo Robbins, the infamous Las Vegas-based magician and gentleman thief. “Apollo would have me practice on people walking into the room that were working on the set,” she says. “The most terrifying thing is having the confidence to actually execute a lift. I knew how to do the steals and where to place my hands but to have the confidence; it’s so ballsy to actually steal something off someone when you’re looking at them in the eye. That’s the thing I struggled with most.” With forthcoming roles in Tarzan, the film version of Irène Némirovsky’s Second World War novel Suite Française, comic-book movie Suicide Squad and indie sci-fi drama Z for Zachariah, Robbie does seem to be mixing it up. She doesn’t talk about her personal life but she has been reported as being in a relationship with Tom Ackerley, the English assistant director of Suite Français.

Raised on a Queensland farm, she landed her first acting gig as Donna Freedman between 2008 and 2011 in long-running Australian soap opera Neighbours. Filming on Ramsay Street, she cheerfully admits, was the making of her. “I learned what works and what doesn’t work on screen when I was in Neighbours,” she says. “I remember watching some of my first episodes back and thinking, ‘I’m blinking and I’m looking around the room and when I speak sometimes I’m looking at a point’. I learned what was distracting for an audience and that you can take your time.”

Robbie credits the soap with not only teaching her to act but putting her on the fast track to Hollywood. “The role in Neighbours was a much better career move than doing indie films that weren’t really ever going to get distributed or seen at all,” she reflects.

A role in the flop jet-age TV series Pan Am and the Richard Curtis comedy About Time ensued before Scorsese came calling. Now Robbie says her creative mantra is “quality, diversity and longevity”. And if she wasn’t acting, what would she do? “I’d like to think I’d be a trapeze artist,” she replies. I reckon Margot Robbie is more suited to acting – her feet seem destined to remain firmly on the ground.

[ocheme1]

Desperate times, desperate measures: Women, sociologists, psychologists say ladies can propose to men

Over the last few weeks, the audacity of any woman proposing to a man, has become a debate among many Nigerians.

Despite the excitement that is often said to come with allowing men to “pop the question”, some feel a woman should be able to turn the table around and do the proposing.

This debate was triggered by a viral video showing an unidentified young woman in high heels dropping to her knees to propose to her boyfriend, who turned her down instantly at the Ikeja City Mall, Lagos few weeks ago.

But while these kinds of rejections may have placed a dark cloud on the idea of a woman proposing to a man, some women have had successes.

In June 2017, Edo comedienne, Etinosa Idemudia, took the bull by the horns and went down on bended knee to propose to her boyfriend, Bucci Franklin, in a restaurant, in the full glare of public attention.

“Not every time wait for bae to propose (sic). Sometimes take the bull by the horns. I was so nervous but he said yes!” she wrote on a picture of the scene she posted on Instagram afterwards.

In 2015, a Nigerian woman won the admiration of many, when she went down on bended knee at her place of work and proposed to her boyfriend. Her photographs, which circulated on blogs and news sites at the time, showed her co-workers gushing about the romantic gesture as her boyfriend accepted the proposal with a kiss on the forehead.

But some women, who shared their opinions with Saturday PUNCH, supported the idea of a woman proposing to a man.

According to an entrepreneur and marketer, Omolara Seweje, women who take such steps are brave and should be praised.

She, however, discouraged women from taking their proposal to a public space.

She said, “The problem is that as Africans, many are still very conservative in their thinking. But in the world we live in today, there is nothing wrong with a woman deciding to propose to a man she wishes to spend the rest of her life with.

“A woman proposing to a man is not a big deal but there are many other ways a woman could ask a man to marry her without asking directly. I would urge any woman to do the same but they should be wise about it.”

A broadcaster, Foluso Ojo, shared the same sentiments. She told our correspondent that many women who criticise women who propose to men would probably do the same thing if not because they are still being caged by societal opinion.

She said this explained why Nigerians go abroad to do things they could not do at home due to societal rules.

 “In this new age, if you are interested in a man, there is nothing wrong with telling a man how you feel. But our society is such that women would rather keep their feelings inside and die with it because no one wants to be seen as cheap,” Ojo said.

Fadumiye, Seweje

An Ondo-based baker and entrepreneur, Mrs. Omolola Fadumiye, said even though many people would criticise a woman who goes out of her way to propose to a man, the world had advanced to the stage where there was nothing wrong in such actions.

Fadumiye said, “Where in the religious books or in our constitution is it written that it is the man who should always propose? Men these days aren’t all that responsible, I mean they don’t want to get responsibly attached. Why waste the precious time of a woman in question if you are actually just passing time with her?

“I salute the bravery of any woman who decides to propose to a man. If she is turned down, it would be good if she knew before it takes too long.

“There is nothing new under the sun any longer. I have also seen a woman propose to a man before even though it was not publicly. Today, they are happily living together as man and wife.

“I am all for doing whatever makes you happy. If a woman thinks she is comfortable proposing to her man, I would say, go for it. Life is too short to live by archaic rules that would stop your happiness.”

Another woman, Jane Anagboso, said even though women have to be cautious not to incur humiliation, there is nothing wrong with a woman proposing to a man.

But men, who spoke with Saturday PUNCH, gave contrary opinions.

A public servant, Kolade Peters, explained that no matter how much traditions evolve, he would not support a woman proposing to a man.

According to him, the role of proposing marriage would always be reserved for men.

“How do you think a lady will feel when a man says no after she proposes? Would she press further and try to convince him further or be devastated? A marriage proposal by women remains an abberation,” he said.

A Sales and Customer Service Specialist, Mr. Abiola Isaac, shared a similar opinion.

“For me, it is not ideal for a woman to propose to a man. It is a risky venture for any woman as it is likely that the man would take such proposal for granted or turn it down. There is also the possibility that the woman will be stigmatised. I understand western influence on our culture but I think our society is not ready for such yet. Let the man do the proposal,” he said.

But Mr. Olamide Akinjobi took the side of women.

“I support women expressing their deep feelings towards men but this should be done carefully. No matter how ‘western’ Africans want to be, our culture and traditions cannot be obliterated. There are many ways a woman can warm her way into a man’s heart,” he said.

Everything about life evolves, so should proposals – Sociologists

However, while some online reactions to such proposals have continued to label the ladies concerned as desperate, sociologists have different opinions.

A sociologist, Mr. Monday Ahibogwu, said it was normal for culture and tradition to evolve. According to him, this explains why the idea of a woman waiting for a man to propose is gradually changing.

He said, “The trend of having women proposing to men is actually not a new thing. It is becoming a trend because perhaps women are increasingly taking the responsibility where men are usually too scared to commit to marriage.

Ojo, Akinjobi

“In our society, the traditional thing is for the man to propose to the woman in order to be seen as the head of the family.

“But in a case where a woman decides to take the bull by the horns, there is nothing wrong with it. The problem is that many people do this to gain traction on the social media or direct attention to themselves.”

While agreeing that the need to trend on the social media might explain why some women propose to men publicly, Ahibogwu said the society has a way of checking unorthodox behaviour.

He said, “Society has a way of measuring attitudes, consumption, practice and behaviour. The thirst for social media exposure at all costs may seem acceptable now, but later, the society may clamp down on such behaviour. You would recall some universities did the same to check indecent exposure on campuses at a certain time.

“As much as we are a free society, there are times when these things become excessive. But the society has a way of correcting the things it considers as excesses.”

An Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Lagos, Dr. Lekan Oyefara, also agrees that the trend of women proposing to men is a sign of the society moving away from “traditional to the modernised”.

According to Oyefara, considering the evolution of technology and other elements of culture, it should not come as a surprise that the tradition of marriage proposal was evolving as well.

He said, “In a traditional setting, you expect the woman to be quiet, calm and not propose but in the modern time, you expect a woman to also be able to propose to a man.

“Social media is just one aspect of modernisation. Technology has to keep on changing while attitude also changes. Same sex marriage and people doing what they believe to be appropriate are all part of this modern society.

“In Africa, the tradition says the woman should wait for the man to propose but roles in the society are changing every day.  These days, some women are stronger than men financially. Some women even pay their own bride price.

“For instance, traditional mass communication system changed to mass media and social media. All these cannot but instigate a change in behaviour and attitudes. Even culture is not static.”

According to him, those debating whether the actions of women proposing to men are right or wrong are simply being judgmental.

‘Give me a spouse or I die’

In Nigeria, the pressure to get married can be overwhelming, especially for women, a woman rights activist, Debby Falope, told our correspondent.

She shared a personal experience of coping with family and friends’ pressure on her to get married before she eventually got married at the age of 34.

According to her, no matter how strong a single woman is, coping with the pressure to get married is challenging, especially in a society where couples show off their marital lives on the social media.

Falope said, “The pressure started from my mother. I know this is the same with a lot of single women out there that are of marriageable age. The damage done by our mothers, especially when they are less educated or less modern in their thinking, is huge.

“My mother would tell me that maybe if I went out more, I would find a man to marry. At any chance she got, she would tell me that I was too critical of the choice of men. She was not too chastising about the way she said those things but it was tiring.

“Left to her, I should have simply gone down the road and picked a man on the street. In Africa, a woman’s fulfilment is still tied to her marital status. You are not seen as fully a woman yet until you are married, no matter what level you have attained in your career or in the society.

“Some mothers go as far as abusing their daughters for not ‘finding’ a husband as if a husband is something you go to the market to buy. Unfortunately, churches are not helping. Some sermons make being single look like a curse.”

In Nigeria, it is not strange to see banners of church programmes dedicated to preaching and praying about marital fulfilment.

The banner of a programme held at the GodHouse International Church, Delta State, made the news few years ago and became a reference point for those who believe churches propagate the pressure on single men and women to get married.

Advertising the programme, which was supposed to be the “Singles and Young Adult’s Meeting”, the theme written boldly on the banner was, “Give me a spouse or I die”.

At about the same time in the same state, another church had a banner advertising its “marital solution” programme with the theme:  “War against delay: This beautiful sister must marry”.

Peters, Isaac

Another sign post advertising a singles’ programme at the Gospel Foundation Bible Church, Calabar, Cross River State, proclaimed “Singles’ bonanza: I must marry!” as the theme of the event.

In June 2017, the General Overseer of Christ Mercyland Deliverance Ministry, Warri, Delta State, Prophet Jeremiah Fufeyin, took church matchmaking a notch higher when he took the unusual step of instant matchmaking in church.

In the video, the prophet called out single men who needed wives. He then in turn summoned women who wanted husbands and asked them to line up behind each man of their choice. Some of the men had as many as 12 women lined up behind them.

A marriage counsellor and pastor, Mr. Bisi Adewale, described such programmes as the church’s response to the need for spiritual assistance.

Adewale said, “The church realises the pressure that people have to deal with. If there is no need, the churches won’t have such programmes. Some churches know that many people have the spiritual needs as far as marriage is concerned.

“There is a genuine need to minister to people who are not yet married. That is why you have such programmes in churches. At the end of the day, many people come back to share testimonies of answered prayers from such programmes.”

Few days ago, an Abuja-based woman, Boma Horsfall, illustrated this when she shared a short testimony on Facebook.

“Seven days fasting and prayer ended in praise. Congratulations to me,” she said, as she shared photos of her engagement ring.

However, Adewale countered the opinions of the sociologists on the rationale behind a woman proposing to a man.

He said that no matter how modern Africans are, they must remember it is culturally wrong for a woman to propose marriage.

He said, “If you respect your womanhood, you wait to be proposed to. It is dignifying for a woman to be pursued by a man than for her to do the pursuing.

“Even though families and friends put pressure on people to marry, a lot of people put the pressure on themselves. There are women who in their 20s, think the whole world has bypassed them, while there are others in their 20s and 30s who still keep calm. This pressure should not push a woman to propose to a man.

“Some make it seem as if a man is irresponsible if unmarried at a certain age. But there are so many irresponsible married men as much as there are responsible single men.”

Psychologists think trend is worrisome

Prominent psychologists, Professors Oni Fagbohungbe and Toba Elegbeleye, said that Nigerians are simply moving with time.

Fagbohun identified physiological psychology as a factor that explains the pressure on women to get married.

He said, “The cells of the body depreciate with age. If a lady does not marry at the right time, the cells of the body depreciate. At an early stage, when a cell dies, others multiply to replace it.

“At that time, the cells are capable of rejuvenation. But after some time, when a cell dies, this does not happen. That is when we say the law of diminishing returns has set in.

“Women are aware of this even though they may not be able to explain it from a psychological perspective. But they feel it and are in a hurry to do what they have to do before it is too late. This is why many tend to take the bull by the horn and do not wait for the man to propose.”

According to him, there is also the social factor whereby the pressure comes from parents who feel their children have attained a certain milestone and should get married.

“In those days, my mother would tell my elder siblings that she wanted to carry her grandchild and would urge them to pick one of the prospective partners around them. I also remember that after my first degree, my father said now that I was educated, I should ‘settle down’ (get married). I simply laughed because I had the intention of getting a doctorate. There is always pressure from relations and friends,” the don said.

Fagbohungbe described economic factor as the biggest challenge for the man, identifying it as the reason why many male Nigerians of marriageable age are not getting married.

“Yoruba people say ‘the wife of the poor man is a wife of all men.’ That is, if you cannot adequately take care of your wife, others would assist you to take care of her,” he said.

Elegbeleye was of the opinion that the increasing number of male Nigerians of marriageable age shying away from marital responsibilities might create a big social problem in the future.

He told Saturday PUNCH that it might lead to more parenthood and prostitution among women and more desperate emigration by men.

However, he noted that there was nothing wrong in women proposing to men.

The professor said, “It would be erroneous to think that our tradition is rigid. Tradition is dynamic and that is why these sorts of changes are expected. Economically, things are no longer as they used to be. There is serious unemployment out there. Marriage is not something that is easy to jump into.

“But women are now more exposed such that they now have a voice in marital issues. What is becoming worrisome is that men are running away from responsibilities.

“There is a kind of lethargy in the kind of supervision that parents can give to their children. These days, young people have a lot of freedom on their hands.

“At this point, we cannot begin to talk about tradition any longer because that era is gone. Many men who would have loved to go into marriage do not have the financial power to support the marriage, while some women who are willing to marry have the economic power to support a family. Unfortunately, this is not going to get better.”

[xtina-fan-ever-blog]

Christina Aguilera Is Back With a New Transformation  

Christina Aguilera has lived through many lifetimes — in her career, in her personal life and, of course, in her aesthetic. Her look has evolved from assless chaps and two-toned plaits to old Hollywood-inspired retro glam to the now-current deep necklines, slick-backed hair and minimal makeup.

Does this pivot to a more toned-down look mean she's done with the drama?

"I've always been someone that obviously loves to experiment, loves theatrics, loves to create a storyline and play a character in a video or through stage," she explains while her makeup artist removes glitter from her eyelids. "I'm a performer, that's who I am by nature. But I'm at the place, even musically, where it's a liberating feeling to be able to strip it all back and appreciate who you are and your raw beauty."

As she says this, she's bare-faced, her freckles peeking out and her blue eyes sparkling without a trace of eye makeup — but don't think she's shelving her contour kit just yet. "I mean, I'm a girl that likes a beat face, let's not get it twisted," she laughs.

This self-assurance and ease is something that the 37-year-old believes comes with age. In the almost 20 years since we first saw her dancing on a beach in the "Genie in A Bottle" video, she has been nominated for 18 Grammys, won five, sold more than 50 million records worldwide, starred in a movie with Cher, served as a judge on The Voice, gone through a divorce, found love again with fiance Matt Rutler and become a mom to Max Liron, 10, and Summer Rain, 3.

Throughout all these significant life experiences, Aguilera has remained unabashedly cheeky. In January, when impatient fans inquired about a new album — which would be her first since 2012's Lotus — via a hilarious handwritten note on her Walk of Fame star, she sent a sassy Insta-story response ("It's coming bitches"). While getting her eyes painted bright pink at our shoot, she shares an anecdote about one of several wigs her hairstylist has brought with him on set: a tousled, dirty blonde hair piece. Apparently, Christina had asked to borrow the wig...for the bedroom. "You were really good about it, you were a sport," she tells him while the whole room laughs. "I think I wanted to go home and have sex that night and you were like, 'Okay, don't get her too messed up.' I was like, no guarantees, thanks."

Born in Staten Island, New York on December 18, 1980 to father Fausto and mother Shelly Loraine, Aguilera had a far from picture-perfect childhood. She witnessed domestic abuse both in her family and around her neighborhood, something she has always discussed openly during her career. "I watched my mom have to be submissive, watch her Ps and Qs or she's gonna get beat up," she recalls. One of two things can happen if you grow up in that type of situation, she says. "You can either be, unfortunately, so damaged by it that you take a turn for the worse, or you can feel empowered by it and make choices to never go down that route." Aguilera decided at an early age that she would never allow herself to be in a position where she'd have to rely on anyone else in order to be happy. At the same time, it taught her compassion for people who aren't able to get themselves out of similar situations so easily. "I hate when people say, 'Why doesn't she just leave?' There's psychological damage and mental abuse that comes with being in a situation like that. A lot of people don't have the ability to vocalize it themselves or have the know-how to get out."

This strength and compassion also spurs Aguilera to be a dedicated ally to the LGBTQ community. In 2003, Aguilera nabbed a GLAAD Media Award for the positive portrayal of gay and transgender people in the video for "Beautiful." She continued her support through videos like 2012's "Let There Be Love," and in 2016, she dedicated the song "Change" to the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting and donated proceeds to their families through the National Compassion Fund. When asked why it has always been important to her to speak up for the LGBTQ community, she answers, "These are people who I grew up with and who are brilliant, talented and strong that deserve for their voice to be heard and fought for, as well."

Pop stars are notorious for going through transformations, but Aguilera's hunger for experimentation in both her music and her style is part of her unique appeal. She says every one of her albums allowed her to venture off in a different direction and explore a different side of herself. There was the release of her self-titled debut, when Christina became one of early aughts' pop princesses alongside former Mickey Mouse Club co-star Britney Spears. The record was, according to Aguilera, exactly "what an older label head male's perspective was." Her clothes were typical of the era: midriff-baring tops, flared pants and glossy lips. The 2001 "Lady Marmalade" collab with Pink, Mya and Lil Kim allowed Aguilera to flex her vocal range, and she began experimenting with an edgier look (colorful braids, more revealing outfits). From there, she dropped 2002's Stripped and the single "Dirrty," which Aguilera calls a "game-changer." She explored a fashion style of two-toned hair, bikini tops and those iconic leather chaps. At their most respectful, critics deemed her look "risqué," and at their most aggressive, they called her the "world's skeeziest reptile woman" (a description that appeared in a 2002 Entertainment Weekly article). 2006 birthed the album Back to Basics, which had Aguilera belting out throwback songs that were straight out of the '40s and donning a pinup-inspired look and what would become her signature red lipstick. With 2010's electronica-influenced Bionic, Aguilera seemed to marry the two styles of edgy and retro. Case in point: At the MTV Movie Awards that same year, she wore her hair in a retro-style victory roll with red lipstick and an Atelier Versace gown with straps that looked like heavy chains.

"[New artists] don't have as much backlash when they come out on the scene. And I did. It was a controversial time for me."

"I can't stay in a stagnant place for too long, which is why I think the position I was in with television just became very stifling," she says, referring to her six-season stint on The Voice. "I need movement, I need to go explore, be an artist, create and transform."

In 2017, Aguilera voiced the character of Akiko Glitter in The Emoji Movie, but she hadn't starred in a film since 2010's Burlesque. This year, she'll be featured in two movies, portraying a robot in Drake Doremus's sci-fi flick Zoe and appearing as herself in the Melissa McCarthy comedy Life of the Party. Anyone who has followed Aguilera's career has been aware of her comedic prowess for years. (Remember her iconic turn as Sex and the City's Samantha on SNL?) Aguilera wouldn't mind doing more of it. "My ultimate would be to do something with Will Ferrell. Just super funny, just laughing and being stooges." Later, when she puts on the aforementioned wig, Aguilera exaggeratedly runs her fingers through the hair (aka "her") and makes a sound akin to the beginnings of a Cher vocal run. Low-key hilarity at its finest.

Aguilera is a true Sagittarius: curious, eager to learn and a little bit restless. But she isn't above indulging in simple comforts, especially when she's in need of a self-care session. She enjoys yoga, massage (she's very "touch-based") and chilling around the house in sweats. "I love hanging out with just my close girlfriends and guy friends, which happen to be my gay friends," she says. "Just good, quality time with people who are super down to earth." Describing herself as "old school," she says she always keeps an emergency DVD player and DVDs with her in case something "goes wrong with technology." When she travels, she likes to play the DVDs when she goes to sleep. Her go-tos are films that are "mood-driven and inspiring," she says, movies like Frida, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Amadeus, Elizabeth and Basquiat.

With music, she's inspired by a lot of current hip-hop, particularly what artists in the genre are doing with sound and visuals. She namechecks Childish Gambino ("He's genius"), Chance the Rapper ("He's made it without a label, without any strings attached, and being so charismatic at the same time") and Cardi B ("She makes people really crack up just by being herself, and it's genuine") as some of the artists she's most impressed by.

For some of us, it can be hard to pinpoint when exactly we were done with crushing self-doubt and finally became Cardi B-level cool with being ourselves. It might be the end of a relationship, or the discovery of a new hobby or career, or even just a quiet, unremarkable moment when that lightbulb goes off, signifying a feeling of I'm okay. For Aguilera, it's whenever she was performing onstage. "I think we go through up and down moments. There are outlets where I feel like I'm good, and that was being onstage, able to exude and release and feel. That was my form of feeling empowered." But in her younger years, that feeling never really followed her offstage.

When Aguilera released 2002's Stripped, it was a fearless time for her. She made the jump from her debut album where she was "creatively unhappy at that time" to being able to finally sing songs that she felt were true to herself, all while having fun with a more provocative wardrobe. But as the album allowed her to embrace her sexuality and femininity, it also encompassed a lot of insecurities and vulnerability. "You heard it on 'Beautiful' and a song called 'I'm OK,'" she says. "It was like, am I honestly? Obviously, I'm not fully ok. It's a journey into never quite bandaging my wounds." Aguilera always pulls from her pain, which she describes as "a muscle memory" to help tap into her art.

One of the most admirable, and relatable, things about Aguilera is her ability to reflect on her painful experiences and to know what truly matters in life, like just making sure to be surrounded by good people. It's the kind of cliched, yet true, peaceful wisdom that can only come from someone in their thirties — after the craziness of the twenties; after the cosmic rite of passage of a Saturn return. In your 30s, you've mostly figured out who your ride-or-dies are, and you've let go of those who aren't. This was important to Aguilera. "You have to connect with the right people that bring certain energies into your life. And have the ability to let go of a lot of things that have hurt you. It's a big deal."

"I watched my mom have to be submissive, watch her Ps and Qs or she's gonna get beat up... You can either be, unfortunately, so damaged by it that you take a turn for the worse, or you can feel empowered by it and make choices to never go down that route."

Aguilera is excited for what's happening with new artists in the entertainment industry, because of how much more progressive it is. "They don't have as much backlash when they come out on the scene. And I did. It was a very interesting and controversial time for me." She points out how much more accepted it is now for an artist to take risks and to also be sexually empowered than it was back then. "Either women are not sexual enough or we're not fulfilling enough of a fantasy for you, but then if we're overtly sexual or feeling empowered in a certain kind of way, then we're shamed for it." She's proud of herself during the "Dirrty" era, even with the harsh criticism she received. "Madonna had to go through it in her day, and she paved the way for my generation to come up. And paying it forward, now a younger generation is coming up and I'm loving what I'm seeing. It's so incredible."

She says adventurous fashion is also more accepted, and it's true. With celebrities being able to get dressed by a stylist and have the images quickly posted to the public, it's easier for them to experiment and get immediate praise, or disapproval. Aguilera says back then an artist would play with their look from video to video, or record to record. "It was more of a slow-moving thing, and now it's like, a different red carpet look. It's very interesting how that happens." She doles out one piece of advice: "Be fearless in breaking new boundaries and don't be afraid to go against the grain of criticism along the way." That can be helpful to anyone, whether they're an artist or not.

It's the same kind of advice she'll tell her daughter when she's old enough to understand. "I don't want to inject too much upon her as to how I'm choosing to live my life and what I've done in my career," she says. "I just hope I can allow what I'm doing to influence her to be her own person. That's truly what I hope for her." (She'll also let her daughter dye her hair a crazy color if she wants to.) "I really want to make sure my children are both very confident in the sense that they know who they are and that they won't be easily swayed by outside opinion."

As with many parents these days, there's the topic of social media and its influence. Aguilera recognizes that it's a double-edged sword. "There's always gonna be the good and the evil, the dark and the light. I think now is the time, more than ever, that we're seeing that in every sense of the word." She thinks that the fashion and beauty industries are also progressing in the right direction, as far as more inclusive beauty and body image standards, which we're seeing play out on social media. "There's always gonna be those trolls out there or people that have their own definition and ideals of beauty, but I think we're progressing to a place of pushback and more people coming out." And if you're not on board with the fight for inclusivity and diversity, Aguilera has no time for that.

"It's like my Instagram says right now," she proclaims, referring to her avatar in which she's wearing velour track pants, sunglasses and a fur coat draped over a particular slogan shirt. "Everybody that can't hop on that train can suck our dicks."

credits: http://www.papermag.com/christina-aguilera-transformation-2553214651.html

[wolfdenlin77-blog]

Recapping Twin Peaks: The Return: Part 10

Before watching each week's installment of Twin Peaks: The Return, the titles given for each part offer a nice little hint for what's in store, or, in the cases where the title doesn't provide an obvious prompt, a way to later look back on the element that David Lynch and Mark Frost wanted you to pay the closest attention to from the beginning. The title of Part Nine was This is the Chair, and in that episode, we got some seriously important information from that chair: the directions from the late Major Garland Briggs (Don S. Davis) that will get the Twin Peaks Sheriff's Department closer to understanding where and when and how Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) can be found. This week's title, however, is Laura is the One and while we're not left with any immediately accessible explanation for what that means, we know that Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) is somehow the key element to restoring, and hopefully healing, the toxic sadness now coursing through the metaphorical water supply within the town of Twin Peaks.

If you recall, we learned in Part Eight that Carel Struycken's character, credited so far as just ??????? in The Return, and his cohort in the White Lodge (though I'm personally on the fence that this is what this is) Seorita Dido (Joy Nash) sent the golden goodness of Laura into Twin Peaks to combat the rivaled evilness of Bob (Frank Silva). The essence of Bob was most recently within Dale Cooper's Doppelgnger, who we've been calling Evil Cooper, but was removed by the Woodsmen (led by Robert Broski) and is now god knows where. Even without that essence, the ratio of bad versus good in Twin Peaks and the other new locations (Las Vegas, South Dakota, New York, Philadelphia) leans more on the bad side. Like really, really bad. Twin Peaks used to be a town where, aside from the occasional incest, prostitution ring, and murder, the worst thing to happen on any given day is finding a fish in your percolator. Now, it's a place where pinched-face psycho killers call their grandmother a cunt. So, if Laura is the One, as we've been told by the auteurs themselves, perhaps that means she's the one to finally snap Cooper out of his Dougie stupor; in other words, Laura contains the Prince Charming-esque kiss that's gonna bring him back around. Hell, we'd place a Mr. Jackpots-sized bet on it.

Part Ten opens with another appearance from Richard Horne (Eamon Farren), who we now know beyond the shadow of a doubt is the terrible, terrible god-awful son of Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) who we still have not seen. He pays a visit to the trailer park where Miriam Sullivan (Sarah Jean Long) lives to try and sweet talk her out of not telling the police that she saw him mow a little boy down with his truck. Unfortunately for her, she tells him she already called and wrote a letter to the Sheriff, to which he gives up the sweet talk and just kills her instead. Ramming his way into her home, we hear the sounds of brutal violence and then the camera lets us peek in to see that not only did he beat her to death, he opened up the gas on the stove and left a burning candle next to it as well. Spoiler: Things are going to get even more heated.

In back to back displays of violence, we go from here to the front of the New Fat Trout Trailer Park where Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) sits in a folding chair strumming Red River Valley on an acoustic guitar. His song is interrupted by a red coffee cup being thrown through the window of a nearby trailer and we go inside that home to see Shelly's daughter Becky (Amanda Seyfried) being manhandled and screamed at by a hysterical, runny nosed Steven - her husband - played very Leo Johnson-y by Caleb Landry Jones. Based on this display, he may even have Leo beat and it seems like Becky might have something worse than soap in a sock coming her way. Those familiar with the original series and Fire Walk With Me might be wondering whatever happened to 'ol new shoes Leo. It'd be interesting to see his storyline wrapped up in The Return along with a few others we're curious about like Donna Hayward (Lara Flynn Boyle, Moira Kelly) for instance. Let's not hold our breath, though.

Meanwhile, at a doctor's office in Las Vegas, Cooper/Dougie is being examined while his temporary (although she doesn't know this yet) wife Janey-E Jones (Naomi Watts) watches, looking visibly pleased that he's mysteriously lost a bunch of weight and is now in excellent shape. Once back home, Janey seduces Cooper/Dougie into the bedroom and the two engage in loud sex (poor Sonny-Jim) and then fall asleep in each other's arms. It will be sad when Janey learns down the line that the man who just gave her what was probably the first orgasm of her marriage isn't actually her husband. With the real (manufactured) Dougie gone, having been sucked back into the Black Lodge and destroyed, she'll be left with no husband at all and doesn't deserve that grief. Janey -E Jones 4-EVR.

In another part of Las Vegas, the Mitchum Brothers (Jim Belushi, Robert Knepper) are watching the news and see a report that Ike the Spike (Christophe Zajac-Denek) has been arrested. Part of the report includes hilarious footage of Janey and Dougie/Cooper after having been attacked by Ike in front of the Lucky 7 Insurance building and the brothers put two and two together that the man who thwarted Ike is also who they previously knew as Mr. Jackpots. They make plans to call off the hit they had arranged on Ike themselves and to set up a meeting with Dougie/Cooper/Mr. Jackpots soon. To further complicate the life of Dougie/Cooper/Mr. Jackpots, we later also learn that Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore), who works with Dougie/Cooper at Lucky 7 and who we already knew was an asshole, is in cahoots with Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler). With Mr. C breathing down his neck, Todd orders Sinclair to influence the Mitchum Brothers to kill Dougie/Cooper by telling them he's the reason their $30 million insurance claim got turned down. And if that fails, Sinclair will have the do the job himself. Seriously, what if Dougie/Cooper gets killed before Cooper wakes up? Don't rule it out, anything can happen in Lynch land. Anything. Lynch and Frost have already been throwing us curve balls and dragging us around by the nose for 10 weeks now and nothing would be more of a gut punch than killing off the series' most beloved character. We wouldn't put it past them.

Back in Twin Peaks proper, we're gifted with a new installment of former doctor Lawrence Jacoby's (Russ Tamblyn) Dr. Amp show, which Nadine Hurley (Wendy Robie) watches while sipping a protein shake from the desk of her very own business called Run Silent, Run Drapes - a play on the title of the 1958 film Run Silent, Run Deep starring Clark Cable and Burt Lancaster. As Nadine watches, she says he's so beautiful out loud to herself, in reference to Jacoby. Where the hell is Ed? And why does Nadine seem more, well, out of it than usual?

Over at the Horne house, we're happy to see that Johnny (played here by Eric Rondell) survived his nasty encounter with the wall in Part Nine but is not looking very good. He's situated at the dining room table, fully restrained, staring at terrifying teddy bear robot with a Mr. Bill face that also kind of looks like a loaded pot bowl. Soon enough, Richard Horne shows up and, in one of the most difficult to watch scenes ever, violently chokes his grandmother Sylvia (Jan D'Arcy) demanding the code for the safe. Once he clears out not only the safe, but her purse and silverware, he calls her a cunt and leaves both her and Johnny slumped and crying on the floor.

In his hotel room in South Dakota, Gordon Cole (Lynch) is sipping bordeaux and drawing a picture that looks like a tree growing out of a cow with a hand snatching at it when he gets a knock on the door. Upon opening it, he sees a vision of Laura and it's interesting to note that it's her in the Donna, are you my best friend scene from Fire Walk With Me. What could this be trying to tell us? Well, based on the fact that Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) is there to tell him about the text that Diane (Laura Dern) received from Evil Cooper (Around the dinner table, the conversation is lively), and that she replied back (They have Hastings, he's going to take them to the site), maybe it's a warning that we can't assume who's a friend anymore.

And finally, the Log Lady (the late Catherine E. Coulson) closes Part 10 with a message from her log to Hawk (Michael Horse) saying electricity is humming, you hear it in the mountains and rivers and that now the circle is almost complete. She also urges him to watch and listen to the dream of time and space, and says that it all comes out now flowing like a river. Bottom line: Hawk and Laura are about to get shit done. Let's see if we get closer to learning how next week.

DAMN FINE QUOTES:

Pee Culiar. Dougie/Cooper

We're just naked, screaming little fucks. No wool for us! Dr. Amp/Jacoby

NEXT WEEK ON TWIN PEAKS:

- Benjamin Horne (Richard Beymer) and Beverly Paige (Ashley Judd) get that dinner together.

- Speaking of dinners, perhaps Albert and coroner Constance Talbot (Jane Adams) will share more than just a fancy feast?

- Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) finally finds what he's looking for maybe.

- The US Postal Service has its revenge on Chad Broxford (John Pirruccello)

- Hawk, Bobby, and Frank investigate the clues they've collected so far regarding Jack Rabbit's Palace and the Log Lady's last message.

- Hopefully, Richard Horne gets eaten by one of the lions on the nature program Sarah Palmer was watching in the premiere.

TONIGHT AT THE ROADHOUSE:

Rebekah Del Rio (with Moby on guitar) sing No Stars. You may remember Del Rio as the singer of LLorando from that gut wrenchingly sad scene in Mulholland Drive.