#also this is arbitrary but these are my favorites rather than what i think are their best songs objectively if that makes sense

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

General l lawiet x reader?

𝕀 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕪 𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕟…

ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕠 @𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕤-𝕟-𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖! 𝔾𝕠 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜!!

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘!!

General L Lawliet relationship headcanons

Ok, first off it will take a very very long time before L even considers acknowledging any feelings he may have for you

I'm talking 3+ years

He is very distrusting of people, and wants to know that you won't put him or Watari in any danger

Once he does finally decide he trusts you enough, that's when his emotions begin to shine through

His biggest thing is staring, he will stare for hours on end, processing your behaviors, learning about you, etc

Something about his gaze is different too

His brows furrow in an almost worried way, as if it scares him that he can't logic his way out of his feelings for you

Confession is blunt with him (I hc him to be autistic, so tone isn't really a thing with him)

You'll notice that he hasn't done any work, which is very worrying considering who he is

So you turn your chair to look at him "Hey, are you ok? You seem kind of out of it"

"Yes, I'm just a bit frustrated is all" He says, staring up at the ceiling with his thumb between his lips

"About what?"

He takes a deep breath "Well, whilst getting to know you, I've come to realize that I have romantic feelings for you. This is troubling for me, as I do not have the time for anything as arbitrary as relationships. However, dwelling on these emotions aren't helping either, as it seems to take over my whole head space, making working almost impossible....The best course of action would be to confess my feelings, but problems will arise no matter what your answer to my confession is"

He finishes his rant and looks over at you blankly "Don't look so shocked. I still haven't decided whether I'm going to ask you or not"

You feel your face heat up and you quickly avert your gaze from his "right.."

A few minutes go by before you hear him speak again "Y/n?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Will you be my partner?"

Once you are actually in a relationship with him, it takes him a while to get adjusted

He often forgets that he can be lovey dovey with you, or even that he should be

This being said, you'll have to initiate your first kiss

Communication is key with L, and while he is good at picking up on subtle hints, he prefers you to be direct with him

He's also rather shy when it comes to romantic things, so you being direct helps him feel more comfortable consenting

"May I kiss you?" You ask him one night, sitting comfortably on a hotel bed

He looks up from his laptop, placing his thumb on his lip, thinking long and hard about his decision

"Yes" He finally says, getting up and sitting on the bed, awaiting your kiss

The moment your lips touch his, he freaks out a little

It's all so new and overwhelming, but in a good way

He pulls away very fast, making you worry you did something to upset him

That same lovesick gaze creeps back onto his face, before asking for you to do it again

Once he gets used to it, he finds that he actually really likes kisses!

Kisses are one of the few physical things that he is fine doing whenever, wherever

His favorite spots to be kissed are on his forehead and cheeks, and he likes to kiss you on your nose and hands

Other than that, physical touch isn't much of a thing

If you wanted to cuddle, or if you wanted to hold his hand, he'd be up for it

He just won't seek those things out himself

He prefers small physical gestures, because they're easier and less overwhelming for him

He does things such as tug at the bottom of your shirt if he wants you to pay attention to him, lay on your shoulder, and smelling your clothes

Not in a weird perv way (although he very much is one of those

SPEAKING OF HIM BEING A PERV

Jfc someone come get this man

He seldom does anything touchy feely, but good god can this man stare

Stares at your butt as you walk to go get another cup of water, a barely visible grin coming to grace his face

Looking at your chest (doesnt matter if you're amab or afab) if you have a low hanging shirt that day

And when he does get touchy feely, it's in a more studious way if that makes sense

Like rubbing and squeezing your thighs just to see them jiggle, or running his fingers across your skin and smiling when he sees goosebumps show

As mentioned before, he doesn't like cuddling, but he loooves being in your general space

For example, he'll come sit next to you while you work, reading over all of your previously done tasks

Or if you go to brush your teeth, he'll go stand with you and put his face into your neck

When you can't be with him for whatever reason, he isn't above wearing your hoodies

He likes to wear them for the smell for the most part, but he also likes to wrap up in them like a little caterpillar and pretend he's metamorphosizing

His love language vibe is "sleepy"

Do with that what you will

[hbmmaster]

I've been using and thinking about this for a while, but what do you think of the programmatic notation '0s' for seximal?

I mean this as it relates to '0x' for hex, '0b' for binary and '0' for octal.

('0h' for Heximal also works, but it WILL get confused with hexidecimal)

You may be disappointed to learn that there currently exist no programming languages with seximal numbers.

it's a nice idea but I'd rather a programming language use a more robust system that can accommodate arbitrary bases than just add in more single-letter codes for my favorites you know

[ashintheairlikesnow]

thoughts about the devil in fiction

I think the amount of stories that feature or even focus on a deeply sympathetic or tragic Lucifer Morningstar who is not so much evil as misunderstood, or someone who broke the rules before anyone understood rules could be broken, are an interesting take on our innate need to believe that literally anyone can be redeemed, or at least have some capacity for desiring or wishing for redemption even if they can never, ever earn it.

The tragedy of Lucifer isn't that he was the first of the damned, but that he simply has no other future, no hint of potential to have existence be anything but what it already is.

His tragedy never results in any significant change to heaven in a positive direction. Usually these stories involve the idea of rebellion designed to take heaven down or make it more similar to hell. Rebellion based on being jealous of humanity's ability to make their own choices, or being so proud of himself that he believed his power could rival God.

Lucifer remains trapped within a prison of his own pride and belief that he knows best, or maybe the story involves him learning that his pride was misplaced, but even so the punishment is never truly lifted. It cannot be. It's eternal.

There's also an element, I think, of many people seeing the unfairly demonized - how impossible it can seem to fight against seemingly arbitrary rules - and sort of painting that in larger strokes using the Devil as a canvas. The first of creation to look at the way things were and wonder why they could not be different than this.

How many of us grow up thinking we will change things on a grand scale, fight against the powers that made us, and instead find ourselves simply struggling to maintain hope in a world we aren't allowed to affect? Who find ourselves stomped down when we stand up, or told our ideas are impossible? Told that we're just jealous of those who have more than we have, or that we're too full of ourselves thinking we could make a difference?

It's a really interesting relatability that we have created out of a handful of mentions in a very old book, similar mythologies from other religions, and sheer imagination.

Even in Dante's Hell, written in the 17th century, Lucifer is tragic, damned by pride and envy of God to reign in Hell but ultimately declaring he would rather rule the worst of creation than serve the best.

Is it the best, though?

What is humanity with all its potential for both bad and good removed?

Is the goodness of humanity worth much if it can't be contrasted with the worst? Does good exist without evil, or is it functionally meaningless at that point? Does Lucifer rule over the way that humanity can define what is good, rather than serve a good that has no evil with which to compare itself?

One of my favorite takes has always been those stories that have Lucifer's damnation be focused on seeing the worst of humanity coalesced, over and over and over again, and never allowed to see goodness in Creation. That his tragedy is that he isn't allowed to see how we can use the free will and knowledge of good and evil to do good, he can only see the way it's been twisted to darkness. Which suggests that he has been blinded to goodness purposefully.

The story of the serpent tempting Eve is always performed or written as the serpent slyly, knowingly tricking her by saying, "Surely you will not die," with a wink and a nudge. But there's another take in which the serpent - often written to be the same as Lucifer/Satan and explicitly stated to be the same entity in Christianity, although Genesis doesn't actually make that connection, it's just a snake who can talk and ask questions Eve and Adam hadn't thought of yet - was genuinely of the belief that humanity wouldn't come to same ruin he had, since they were so clearly and obviously being given a different set of potential than the angels.

In that reading, "Surely you will not die," is said with outright, honest confusion as to why they would think so.

After all, this creation was two people in a garden being given endless paradise. But there was something about the potential of their existence they had yet to touch... the ability to make choices that were truly their own.

His rage, his unending fury and pain, is because he believed once in his hubris that if humans can be given the capacity to choose, so could an angel. But then he realized that it didn't matter... even his rebellion was choreographed. It was just lines written on a page, enter the Morningstar, stage left, give his lines, be thrown into the pit.

If the plan was written from the start by a power he could never begin to equal, that means it was a script whose lines he read thinking those thoughts were his own.

Lucifer's tragedy is that even his pride and his envy, his fall, wasn't actually his.

His rage and his suffering is just one more step in a plan larger than he could ever be.

And he had no idea until it was done.

Punished for playing his part so well in a play he had no hand in writing and no idea was even an act, given the unending absence of the basic foundation of angelic existence afterward, forced to witness the worst of the favored creation given everything he ever wanted only to squander it...

Isn't that a tragedy unlike any other?

So those stories that feature Lucifer or even demons in general who are sympathetic and tragic because they are fighting against a constructed universe that they can barely touch or affect and who are suffering an absence, a chasm inside of them that was once filled with artificially created joy that was removed as arbitrarily as it was made...

You can see why those stories resonate over centuries, take new forms, and are an endless fascination for those of us here.

[mckinlily]

One of my favorite tropes is characters who fully and completely believe they aren’t morally good. And yeah, maybe they’re rough around the edges and maybe definitely they aren’t “nice.”

But when you really dig into them, you find a moral code that’s been tried, hardened, and tested more than most people have ever had to face. You find out they’ve had to face and make decisions with no good answer and then somehow had to find a way to live with that. They’ve left conventions and social niceties far behind because they’ve encountered the situations where those just don’t work. They’ve faced the brutal, hard reality that you can’t save—you can’t even not hurt— everyone. They know sometimes the only person you can save is yourself. Sometimes you have to betray or hurt more than a few people to save yourself. They know Do no harm is an impossible lie. And yet under that forcing pressure, they have forged a moral core stripped of all bloat or arbitrary hangers on and tempered in brutal, honest assessment of reality.

And yet. Because they’ve seen the world for what it is rather than what is the sorry being sold. Because they don’t buy into the hypocrisy of “innocent” and “unblemished” and “pure.” Because they don’t look like what society says good should look like, because they don’t think like society says good should think, because they have faced impossible situations and made decisions instead of looking away and pretending that was not also a choice—

Because they are human and imperfect and feel the pain “good” is not supposed to know—

They assume they must be not be good. No matter how hard they try, how brave they are, how much empathy they extent or how many sacrifices they make to help others. They assume they must always be fundamentally Bad.

Because Good people don’t see the complexities, don’t struggle with the complexities and failures, like they do.

Right?

I love when those characters are the kindest (not nice but kind), strongest, most truly brave characters in their setting. Who can reach others who are also imperfect and struggling and broken and beaten down in a way those who are that golden, innocent “good” never could.

I love when good is not being above, separate, untouched by ramble masses and evil. But instead are right in the thick of it, scarred and broken just as much as anyone else, but made the decision to try. Even if they do not believe they are good—or ever can be. Even if they think their efforts are too small. Even if their attempts are small.

And I always hope for those characters to eventually find enough healing to see how strong and good they are.

But in the mean time, I love them for hard they try, even while believing there’s something wrong with them, forever staining their soul.

(As if there isn’t something wrong with all of us. As if the definition a good person is not innocence from bad actions but the choice to do better. As if that single choices doesn’t take more bravery than the most fearless warrior.)

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.207 thoughts

[Oh, Mama!]

(Contents: power system analysis - souls/Negator succession, character analysis - Feng, predictions - Idol Arc)

What incredible timing that the idol arc would begin as I'm finishing my read-through of Oshi no Ko! I would've called this review "Oshi no Fuuko," but half of the comments on MangaPlus beat me to it, the bastards!!

Since this is a set-up chapter, it doesn't give me a lot of huge thematic topics to cover, so instead I'm going to go over the little tidbits of exposition and foreshadowing Tozuka sprinkled throughout it

Starting with Nico's Unforgettable overcoming its memory-crushing weakness of the previous loop, I'm really loving all of the different ways that Tozuka is finding to incorporate souls into Negator abilities. At first I was worried that everyone would just be doing constructs like Andy or astral projection like Ichico/Lucy, but Nico's ability to store memories in his soul rather than his brain is a really clever application that strongly suggests that Tozuka has put a lot of thought into how the system can best synergize with the rest of the cast

My favorite part, of course, is the confirmation of another one of my theories!!! I've been saying for years now that the distinction between self- and external-targeters was arbitrary and just another self-imposed limitation like pretty much every aspect of Negator abilities, but to think that Tozuka would just come out and say it! He really knows how to make me feel like I'm getting a good grade in reading comprehension~!

That said, I'm still having some trouble seeing how souls are going to help eliminate targeting limits in a lot of cases. For example, Unburn targets fire, that's not really a matter of internal/external, that's a matter of specificity. Souls are already stated to be self-replenishing when weaponized, so I'm not sure how Undecrease can be improved by adding souls to the mix other than being able to harm souls in the first place. Unrepair should be able to damage souls directly, but I'm not sure yet how much utility that really has since the need to do so has only come up once so far

As much as I want to say I see all of the possibilities, I think it's clear that Tozuka is still hiding some tricks up his sleeve, so instead of trying to uncover them, I'm going to let myself be pleasantly surprised. Still, I can't help but think about it a little bit, so at the very least I think that sensory-based abilities will be able to utilize the soul, kind of like Observation Haki, so Shen and Chikara won't need to worry about their vision being obscured and may even be able to project a portion of their soul to see a target from multiple angles

Projection, construction, sensation, even if these are the only categorical methods that Tozuka came up with for soul-based abilities, that would still provide a ton of versatility for the cast's fighting styles. However, I'm confident there's something else he's holding close to the chest, and I'm excited to see what it turns out to be

This chapter also gave us a little more insight into Negator selection, and answers a question that I've had since year one. In death, Ichico met her predecessors and specifically decided to hold onto Unsleep, which explicitly confirms that succession is neither immediate nor obligatory. This also explains why Rip retained Unrepair despite being confirmed to have died during his first fight with Andy; when he met his predecessors and they asked him to choose a new Unrepair, he undoubtedly refused, confident that he would find a way back to life to keep fighting for Leila. I do wonder if he forgot about that meeting because he couldn't perceive souls yet or if he thought it was just a dream like Ichico did. Perhaps we'll get some insight into that moment when Rip levels up?

Speaking of long-standing questions, I saw someone on twitter talking about why Feng has been falling through Kokuto'un ever since the Unmove Arc: if Kinto'un requires a good heart to ride, Kokuto'un must require an evil heart. Feng has been steadily becoming softer and kinder, even if it is hidden under a gruff exterior, and this chapter only helped solidify that - he can't even command Kokuto'un to fly away from a conversation he wants to avoid, because in his heart he's becoming a good man who sees the value in helping the people around him. He uses personal training as an excuse to accept Fuuko's request to teach other Union members how to use souls, whereas the old Feng would certainly have insisted everyone else figure it out for themselves. I wonder if there will come a time where Feng can't ride Kokuto'un at all, and if perhaps there will be a time where he literally doesn't need to because he'll figure out how to use his soul to fly

Finally, we arrive at the main attraction: the reintroduction of Fuuko's parents and the long-awaited Idol Arc! I think it's safe to see we all knew the latter was coming, but damn, who predicted the former??

I've certainly been wondering about the Izumo family ever since the loop started. At first I considered the possibility that there was a second Fuuko running around, but I quickly ruled that out and just assumed that the Izumos didn't have a child this time around. This was seemingly confirmed by Apocalypse when he told Juiz about how her soul that originally had no parents would be affected by the Rule that introduced the concept, that she would become the child of a couple that was previously destined not to have a child. From that, we all concluded that the reverse would be true for Fuuko, that since her soul wasn't present to be born, her parents simply wouldn't conceive

After that, I considered that Fuuko would either check in on her parents and leave them to live a happy life together even without her, or that she might meet up with them after the final battle and use Remember or something to tell them who she is, but I figured they'd be much older than when she lost them and they'd never be able to get back what they lost

I never suspected that the offset reincarnations would apply to the non-Negators, though. Sure, Mico ended up being born a lot later, but that's because her parents were directly affected by Fuuko's choices in the new loop. Fuuko's parents, though, seemed like completely unrelated parties, so I figured that they wouldn't be able or at least wouldn't be aware enough to influence their birth. I was so unprepared for this eventuality that I actually saw a girl with Fuuko's hairstyle and the "Fuu" kanji in her name on that flyer and thought "oh damn, Fuuko was reborn after all?? There really are two Fuukos??"

In retrospect, though, there's no reason their souls couldn't have decided to adjust their reincarnation. I suppose it's also not clear how old Kaede is here, but being generous, if she was as young as 16 in 2002 when Fuuko was originally born, she'd still be 29 here in 2015, a very unusual age for an idol. Therefore, it seems more likely that she adjusted her birth to coincide with Kururu's, knowing that Fuuko would one day cross paths with her while recruiting, and the current Kaede is likely between 14 and 21

How this will affect the Idol Arc, I have no idea. Maybe Fuuko will have to play wingman for her own parents, or maybe Kaede is already struggling with being an idol because it means she can't be with Mr. Izumo. Whatever the case, because of their striking resemblance, I'm willing to bet there will be a point where, for whatever reason, Fuuko needs to disguise herself as Kaede, whether as a ploy to get closer to Kururu or to cover for Kaede while she makes a move on Mr. Izumo. We just don't know enough yet to make any educated guesses, but I'll be shocked if at least that much doesn't happen somehow

Whatever happens in this arc, I do hope it'll be more like Enjin's arc than either of the previous Master Rule arcs. I'd like a more relaxed, character-focused arc rather than an action-heavy arc right now, or at the very least to have the tension come from interpersonal drama rather than life-threatening stakes. Jumping back and forth between styles seems to be Tozuka's forte, and now is a great opportunity to do something a little more light-hearted to prepare for the impact of the next Master Rule, but we'll just have to wait and see!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[2af-afterdark]

Do the Kings change after they fall in love with us?

How are they when they’re in love .How would they pine after MC and court them?

Okay, so!!! I sometimes write the kings as already in love and other times as not. It is honestly kind of arbitrary based on what I think works better for the character. So, this time, let me explain the steps so you can kind of understand why I jump around writing them in slightly different ways when I answer people.

Satan

Before love: Satan is the devil that saved MC from an unfortunate fate. As such, he has always expected MC to hold him above others and be willing to do whatever it takes to repay him. Sure, they are currently breaking Solomon's old contracts, but that is what they're doing to get their friend back. Their body and submission is how they repay him for saving their life. He's cruel and mean, giving into his sadistic urges because humans bruise oh so nicely compared to his devil playmates. There is no care there; MC is an object as far as he is concerned.

Pining: Honestly, he's probably never quite had a crush before. Wrath is a different side of passion than love, so he probably always conflate the two. That's why he wouldn't know the difference between a developing crush and his usual wrath. He probably just thinks he's more angry at MC than usual, so they can expect him to be worse than usual when it comes to the sadism. It isn't until he sees MC all bruised up and exhausted, when his heart skips a beat, that he realizes this time is different.

Courting: Satan's sadism doesn't change just because he caught feelings. In fact, he may get worse in some ways. Only MC can satisfy him now, so he calls on them more often than he used to. Considering they are still human, that is a lot to put them through. On the other, MC is going to find out very quickly that Satan is actually a switch and he doesn't mind in the least in MC finds out what it's like to be in charge. That vulnerability is his way of flirting. He really doesn't act "lovey" in the traditional way, so it's the best MC is going to get.

Relationship: Satan is good at compartmentalizing his life. He is the king of Gehenna and he acts like it. MC does not get special treatment, no matter how much Satan likes them. When he's finally able to relax though, he will grab MC immediately and bring them out with him. They will sit with him, maybe even in his lap if he's feeling extra spicy, and the entire bar will know without a doubt that MC is more than just a plaything to him. He will also start stealing their blood and making special things out of it. This blood isn't for combat. It's for showing his favoritism.

Mammon

Before love: It's just a human. There are plenty of those in the world and all of them and all of their possessions belong to him. He didn't know one of his humans was so useful as to undo the mess Solomon left them in (no shade, he loves Solomon, but this is objectively a messy situation). Have fun, MC. If they ever need a break from doing their job, his bed is always open and the offer never expires.

Pining: Mammon falls all at once rather than gradually. He realizes it when he thinks "Damn, MC looks nice in my bed". He wants to curl around them like a blanket and pull them close and never let them go... oh shit, he's down bad. He has to stop himself from kissing their cheek.

Courting: He's a little old school in his flirting. He is not hiding that he fell for MC. He is getting them flowers and gifts that are far too extravagant for most people. Whatever MC wants, it is theirs, and always with him stating his affections. He's a romantic.

Relationship: Mammon is a one romantic partner type if devil and his entire kingdom will know that MC is privy to everything Tartaros has to offer. Treat them like a prince(ss) or else. He insists that MC gets some of his time just for them whenever they want just like he insists he gets to hold and kiss them at his leisure (it will never be enough). And let's just say the bedroom life is very healthy. Honestly, aside from the possessiveness he sometimes shows off, he is a very healthy and loving partner.

Beelzebub

Before love: A human? Damn. He supposes he could take some time out of his day to 'get to know them'. They're a long way from home but he doesn't mind making them feel welcome. Maybe he can show them around. MC will love hell. And they'll love how he makes them blush even more, he's sure.

Pining: Beelzebub is probably that sexuality where he doesn't distinguish between friendship and romance (I forgot what it is called, I'm sorry). He also doesn't actually have many friends though. Most of his relationships to people are superficial or out of pure convinence aside from a very select few. It isn't until he starts thinking about wanting to see them everyday that he realizes he has a new friend/crush.

Courting: He'll just tell MC he wants them. He's pretty direct and has nothing to hide.

Relationship: He needs his daily dose of MC or he gets gloomy. He considers whatever it is they have to be open so he and MC can sleep around and see who they want, but he always comes back to their bed each night regardless. Sometimes he may even come back early just to sit in the same room as them and spend time together doing nothing in particular.

Leviathan

Before love: Does he even exist? MC has yet to see him. They've met some of the nobles and they pass along messages from some king, but ????? MC finally ran into him by complete accident. They found a fucking coffin just hanging out in the middle of the room when it wasn’t there before and it freaked them out when the thing opened and a man stepped out. Leviathan took one look at MC and immediately went back in. OH FUCK NO!!! GET OUT HERE SO WE CAN TALK! STOP MAKING ME GO THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE!!! As they start yanking at the coffin lid. Eventually, they will just start talking at the coffin and waiting for Leviathan to open it to answer them before he goes back in.

Pining: Eventually, he stops escaping into his coffin when MC visits. He'll meet with them as long as they don't stare at him for too long. He feels warm whenever they stare at him, but it isn't the same kind of uncomfortable warmth he feels when he's in a crowd. Something must be wrong with him.

Courting: Sweet, sweet Leviathan isn't doing the courting. He's too nervous and blushy to try and court MC properly. In a strange way, that is his courting style. The stammering, the inability to look MC is the eyes, his nobles getting incredibly jealous out of nowhere because the human has their king's attention. He wouldn't even ask MC out because he would be too caught up in being jealous of his future self who may get a yes and of his past self who hasn't yet had his heart stomped on after MC says no. Mc isn't blind though. They will eventually make the first move and ask if Leviathan is interested in them.

Relationship: Their relationship is not the most public of things, but it isn't exactly hidden either. Leviathan doesn't want to have people looking at him and wondering about all their private stuff, but he's also incredibly happy about all the people who are envious of his relationship for once. He does not, and I repeat DOES NOT, have the gumption to let on the MC - the human - is the lead in their relationship, but all of nobles figured it out very quickly. Their king is too cute

[meadowlarkx]

One of my favorite things about the worldbuilding in The Left Hand of Darkness is the "perverts" in Gethenian society—those who are permanently in one of the kemmer forms. The "normal" person on Gethen goes through a kemmer cycle with periods of somer, but that's not every Gethenian. People whose bodies don't work this way get treated with repulsion. Genly compares them to "homosexuals" in his society, and that comparison is really instructive. Gethenians may not have gender roles and identities the way we do, but they do have societal norms, including about bodies and sexuality. And those norms leave people out. They are imperfect and sometimes they are unfair. I think this is part of the point.

In subtle ways, this theme is woven throughout the book's descriptions of Gethenian cultures. To stick to sexuality, something similar can be said about the different norms surrounding incest on Gethen and the empathic treatment of Estraven's past relationship with Arek. There is no taboo about incest between siblings on Gethen, only on siblings vowing kemmering, but if a child is born of it, the parents have to separate (and it seems like Estraven is separated from Sorve because of this). The reason for including this element, in my reading, isn't to impose our own moral standards by "showing" that Estraven's relationship with Arek was "bad" (in fact, we learn fairly little about it, beyond that Estraven cared deeply for him.) Instead, I think it's partly to demonstrate the dissonance between Gethenian mores and our own, and unsettle both. Because, like Genly, we see Gethenian norms as strange, we can notice that they bring about particular situations and cause particular hurts. Even the custom of vowing kemmering monogamously for life, which sounds more familiar, is shown as double-edged. Estraven breaks a taboo by making his "false" vow to Ashe, but was trying to build a new life with Ashe really wrong?

These things are not 1:1 to any "real life" issue, but like everything else in this story, I think they're chosen because they are provocative. It's really meaningful to me that even in terms of gender and sexuality, Gethen isn't painted as a utopia, but as a real place. Le Guin shows us two sets of norms and asks us not just "are our norms arbitrary and/or constructed rather than essential truths?" but also "are norms always socially constructed? Should we question them sometimes? What harm is done to maintain them? Who is being left out?"

[crystalelemental]

For a long, long while now, Gen 7 has been cited as my least favorite Pokemon generation, with USUM in particular being my pick as worst game in the series. Gen 7 broadly has a lot of gameplay issues, and USUM removes the story components I actually liked, leaving it with very little in the way of redeeming features. As a result of this, it is the only game in the series I have never replayed.

Until today.

As part of the replay for the series, I have taken on Ultra Sun, the game I own but have never beaten because Ultra Moon soured me so badly. The team is endlessly chaotic. I'm serious, I have never swapped around the team as much as I did with this playthrough. The final setup though was Litten, Hariyama, Blissey, Tyrantrum, Dhelmise, and Necrozma-Solgaleo. Some others I know we used for a bit include: Whimsicott, Lycanroc, Ribombee, Espeon, Skarmory, and Zoroark.

Let's start with the big issue: story. A major portion of its problems come from two areas. The first is the obvious: this being the follow-up to SuMo, the change on Lusamine and the Aether Family in particular are jarring and unpleasant. The other is more about its own failings. Specifically, this game added a lot of extra story beats that offer little to nothing, and the game is clearly unedited, resulting in scenes where Lusamine will bitch out Lillie as her having no children because of her defiance, only for the very next scene to involve everyone worriedly talking about how all their actions have been for the good of the family. It's a messy game that did not get to really explore an alternate presentation of this family dynamic, instead transitioning from one end to the other at the literal turn of a scene. I cannot say I enjoy anything about this particular story, and the constant interruptions for it are extreme.

But! I have been on a big focus on gameplay, because Pokemon games are mostly about the gameplay. And USUM has been one I've talked shit about on that front a lot too, specifically in regards to some of the annoying trial changes and holdovers from the original game. Is this still a problem?

Sort of. I've mentioned this often, but the reason I'm replaying all these games is because of one Professor Bopper, who played through the first three generations so far and has really fun takes on the games as a whole. Among his other videos is one where he talks about how games guide players into learning their systems, where he makes the point that gamers are uniquely bad at video games, because of the tendency to double down on how they want to play rather than the way the game wants you to engage with it. They'll impose challenges that don't actually exist, and complain that the game is too poorly designed when it cannot be approached that way. To keep a long story short, I think that's what happened to me the first time.

When I play Pokemon games, I tend to look for arbitrary demands in my approach. Specifically, I will try to avoid "over-leveling," keeping below my opponent, or avoid using more items than they might, not using X items, etc. And USUM in particular does not want you to do that. It even gives you an entire class of items unique to this game that are designed to be beneficial: Roto Powers.

As part of this full experience, I opted to actually use Roto Powers when I felt they were necessary. Popping full heals and boosting all stats +1 on command is...very funny. But I also, as you may notice, swapped around my party a lot. Part of that is just running different options I like, but part of it is to play as intended with an EXP All system. You're supposed to play with different tools and use the Pokemon that best meet an immediate challenge. So I did exactly that...more or less.

Combined, what this meant is that I had a significantly easier time with this runthrough than the first. One holdup my first time through was Kiawe. Marowak gets double speed on entry, and holds a Thick Club to double its attack power, has Detect to prevent non-Z Move damage, and will call a much faster and deadlier Salazzle to counter Brionne. The first time through, using a regular team and using my usual demands, I had a very hard time managing that fight. This time, my Hariyama slapped the Thick Club right off it with Quick Claw Knock Off, and easily finished the entire fight solo thanks to Thick Fat. The other was Ultra Necrozma, an absolute statistical behemoth of a fight that is a major level jump from prior foes, who gets +1 to all stats on entry, has excellent coverage, and boosts damage on supereffective hits. I could not handle this thing short of severe luck and Revive spamming my first time through. It was the only time I broke to use the Roto Boost, and I forget who actually did the deed, but with enough we managed to squeak out a win. This time, not worried about levels and popping one (1) Roto Boost right away, let my Blissey completely stop it while tearing it apart with Shadow Ball.

The Boost item in particular is also what let Litten compete. With the removal of Super Training, Litten can no longer manage its stats via min-maxing, but it can get these free boosts to everything and perform Cat Sweep. Which is fun! I like Litten! I do not care as much about the other two forms. This felt right.

I would say I have been overly harsh on USUM's overall gameplay design. Its flaws exist primarily in places of story and interruptions to game flow. It really is too broken up and too wordy to get into as strongly. But there are other problems I take.

First: removal of Super Training. This causes problems for me, because I actually agreed with how Super Training was implemented. I loved it! But now we don't get it until later, and it invokes real-world time and significant bean counts to get to a fast pace. It's just unmanageable, against a system that was accessible and active.

Second: Roto Boosts rely heavily on Rotom Dex letting you do the lottery thing, meaning your access to these powers are randomized and slow to accrue. I like their effects, but they are rather impossible to come across in some situations. Then again, we have X items that are purchasable, so maybe that's intentional.

Third: Mantine Surf comes so close and just barely misses the mark. I love that BP is actually accessible in ways other than grinding at the postgame battle facilities. I hate the postgame battle facilities. They're terrible. But Mantine Surf lets you have access to BP, which in turn means access to the early game tutors and stat boosting items. In a way, you can still boost stats reliably and early on. But, BP yields are still very low for the time investment, and BP costs are still pretty high. Not impossibly so. But they aren't a good exchange rate. There's also the fact that one of the tutor sets is postgame, when it really did not need to be. Then again, I had a ton of BP from the PokeBank situation, so...

Fourth: side quests. Talking to everyone is a generally good idea if you're unfamiliar with the game. Sometimes they have good hold items or TMs. In this game, however, sometimes they kick off really tedious side quests that give really terrible rewards and have no value. And sometimes those quests are like "Catch this Pokemon for me!" and it's the rarest one in the zone. This is why I used PokeBank. I just wanted to instant clear those quests. I did not intend to pick up 1400 BP. It just kinda happened that way.

Fifth: not to bring up Bopper again, but in his Johto video he talks about fan response to Johto as a whole, referencing the opinion that Johto hates its own dex, a statement I have never heard before and was baffled by. The complaint seems to be about inaccessibility, that the new mons are harder to find and are generally weaker, and thus not worth talking about, as well as that the game as a whole tends to emphasize old Kanto Pokemon in boss fights compared to new ones. Gen 7, admittedly, has a bit of this feeling for me, in a way that Gen 2 doesn't. Not so much the latter point around bosses, but the former for sure. Many of the new Pokemon feel very hard to find, occupying optional areas and being very, very low encounter rates, or relying on the new Call for Help system to appear at all.

Johto's systems that kept things hidden were largely day/night cycle, headbutting trees, and happiness evolutions, which...were all fun systems to engage with! I liked those! Alola's new system...not so much. Call for Help is a wretched mechanic that can drag out random encounters forever just because you can't OHKO an opponent. It is also the only means of finding some Pokemon. And the chances of Call for Help (1) succeeding, and (2) calling the specific thing you want, basically don't exist. Let's not even get into Hidden Abilities. It's just an inelegant system that makes finding these things extremely difficult to near impossible, and I don't like it.

That's not to say they can't have little surprises to randomize playthroughs, but...well, the other group we like listening to is Castle Super Beast, where they recently talked about these kinds of hidden variables that are supposed to be fun things you sometimes stumble on to find a new surprise in games after a few playthroughs. And their take way that these really low spawn rate, really hard to achieve pieces...no longer serve any purpose in the age of the internet. We all know about it already. Trying to hide it as a surprise thing you sometimes run into doesn't help if I already know about it, how to do it, and it's just slow and tedious. There's no purpose to that anymore. And it compounds for a game like Pokemon, where you will see this thing on an enemy team, and know that it exists, but be completely unable to find it because of low rates. You're more likely to move on to other, frankly better things.

After all, regional dexes are large now, and you can get behemoths like Larvitar really early on. When you have all the top performers from old generations around, there's less incentive to use the newer options. One thing I do tend to lock myself too, albeit loosely, is using stuff new to the generation. Because it's new, and I want to try out the new stuff. But it is made difficult when the dex size is small, the new stuff is almost entirely low encounters, and the strongest solutions are more readily available.

I don't really know where my complete feelings are on this game. Did I have fun? Kinda. There were a few places where I completely stopped because the game was getting a bit too slow in forward momentum, like the whole Aether Paradise segment or Mina's trial, but it wasn't as bad as I remembered it being either. It's problem, I think, is just overstaying its welcome. The game goes on for about five hours more than it needs to, and removal of some scenes to just let you move forward would lose nothing. But by gameplay...it was fine. I had an okay time.

"What about Rainbow Rocket?" Postgame is officially outside the purview of these replays. "But you did postgame for everything el-" I am not doing that.

[extracontentmediareviews]

FF12 has been my favorite FF game for years, but I always find myself muttering "I hate this part" when I play it...what's up with that?

For the past decade or so whenever someone would ask me about Final Fantasy titles I would always say ”FFXII (12) is my favorite!” And yet, at the same time, whenever I’ve played it (which has been about 3-4 times), I’m always finding myself muttering “Oh! I hate this part!” 

Recently, I’ve been playing Theatrhythm Curtain Call and Final Bar Line…a lot, and even though FF12 (for seemingly arbitrary reasons) has remained my default answer to “my favorite FF game,” I find myself largely avoiding its song selection (Except Rabanastre, my one true love). Besides Rabanastre, I can’t be bothered to actually care about the songs. I would even go as far as to say listening to them inspires a sense of tedium rather than excitement more often than naught. (This might have more to do with the song selection too though. I'll write about that another time.)

It begs the question then…do I even like FF12? Why has it been my go to answer for so long? What was it that even drew me into the title to begin with?

I think the best place to start is perhaps mentioning the first way I truly interacted with the game. (Ok, the actual first interaction was in 2009-ish, my brother was borrowing it from a friend and I would walk into the room every now and then to see him playing it. I distinctly remember thinking every time “Weren’t you just watching that cutscene?!” I had dabbled in the game myself, but, as it goes for typical middle-schoolers, I really quite sucked at it.) But I digress.

So, back in 2012-ish, I didn’t have access to a PS3 (I know it’s a PS2 title, bear with me). I had never had the opportunity to play FF13 but I wanted to know the story, so for the next week I binged a full “cut-scene” movie (in its 43+ gloriously separate parts) on Youtube. After “finishing” that title, I saw that a similar video had been spliced together for FF12, except it was only 6.5 hours long! Clicky Clicky.

I. Was. Intrigued. The first thing that stood out to me was how the narrative pacing of the cutscenes felt incredibly cinematic in comparison to the FF13 “movie” I had just watched. Maybe it was an impression at the impressive opening video that colored the rest of my consumption, or maybe it was the uploader’s particular editing and splicing choices, but I found the narrative extremely engaging. It’s admittedly been a hot minute since I refreshed myself on the nuances of the story, so my statements will be reflecting more on my lingering impression than specifics (give me some grace please) but…

This leads me to the first reason I believe I “fell in love” with FF12. It was the first story that made me consider “maybe I like political intrigue as a plot genre?” At the time, most of the stories and RPG titles I remember engaging with were the typical fate-of-the-world high fantasy plots rife with foretold heroes, oracles of saviors, OP protagonists that held their worlds by the throat, and (ugh) god-killers. In FF12, though it does arguably fall into a lot of these tropes, there remained at its core a sense of  “insignificance” to the characters when considering the entire world of Ivalice. Perhaps it was the absence of  “inevitable-destinies” or that our protagonists were not “famous” due to some well-known prophecy, or that Vaan and Penelo were literally insignificant to the plot, but it all made the characters feel more relatable. Or maybe it was the sense that no one character felt unreasonably powerful in the face of their larger political foes. The geopolitical consequences of warring nations would have manifested regardless of the specific cast’s coming together. Something about the plot also felt grounded in how selfish and narrow it really was. Ashe wanted to recover her kingdom not for the fate of the world, but because it was unjustly stripped from her and she wanted revenge. It was also at this same time I started to discover a fondness for the “slice-of-life” genre where plots existed comfortably within a small, largely insignificant to the broader world, personal scope. By no means am I out to say FF12 was a cheeky little “slice-of-life,” but the first act at least did make it feel that way for a while.

Which brings me to the second reason I default to FF12 as my favorite: Rabanastre. To me, this city’s presentation felt incredibly alive. Part of this I attribute to the sheer amount of NPC’s visually present in the streets and shops. It really felt like there were people believably living their own lives in the city. On top of that the mentions of the mixed architecture (i.e Galtean versus Dalmascan) and the distinct vibe and socio-economic divide evident with Rabanastre’s Lowtown alluded to a rich history and socio-political fabric that made the world feel lived in. It enforced a sense that the world came first and the characters followed, rather than a world being created to justify the characters’ existence. I know there are a lot of good examples across media that also get this right, but there was just something about FF12’s execution that particularly resonated with me. Maybe it was the timing (I was in those impressionable middle and highschool years after all), or maybe it was the grittier approach to the colors and graphics. Maybe it was how absolutely enthralled I was with the silhouette of the Garifs (I don’t cosplay, but I want to cosplay…), but something about the world of Ivalice as presented in FF12 continues to inspire me to this day. 

I think it is here that lies the real reason I’m so drawn to the spirit of FF12 even in the face of the tedium I somehow equally attribute to it. It’s much less the specifics of the story or even the cast of characters that compels my declaration of “favorite.” Rather, it is the robust world of Ivalice that inspires me. It feels so real, so tangible, like a place I could actually visit. I remember for years I would say “If I could visit any place, real or fantasy, I would want to visit Rabanastre.” I wouldn’t mind experiencing and learning that city’s history first-hand.

So is FF12 still my favorite? Realistically, probably not. I can recall a lot more things I liked about other titles. Nevertheless I don’t think I will ever entirely relinquish my fondness for FF12, or more accurately, Rabanastre. The fact that the innovative auto-gambit-based gameplay was surprisingly fun was just a bonus.

[yokai-girlie]

A Deep Dive Into Good Omens Symbolism In Season 2

Once again, just my opinions and how *I* interpreted the show. It’s all just for funsies. And also spoilers for the new season. Duh ;)

My all time favorite thing about literature is symbolism. I love looking for it and i love finding the meaning to it. I think in a past life I was an english teacher because I swear to you I can assign meaning to the most arbitrary things. But I love it even more when symbolism evolves. I think I enjoy watching the meaning of a symbol change in a book more than I like watching a character develop.

I said all of that to say I am absolutely OBSESSED with how the symbolism of the Bookshop and the Bentley evolved this season. We watched them get flipped on their heads and it was so beautifully devastating. If y’all want, in another post i can go into other symbols in the show like colors or other objects but for now, this is about the Bookshop and the Bentley :).

In season 1 we get introduced to the bookshop and the bentley. They both have pretty surface level meanings. (That’s not a bad thing at all. Simple is good. Big fan of simple, me. It’s a great jumping off point as we see in season 2)

The bookshop obviously represents Aziraphale and his needs and desires. It can’t go anywhere and it hasn’t changed at all for the couple hundred years he’s owned it. It is consistent and comfortable in an ever evolving world. While Heaven is barren and white, the bookshop is cluttered and colorful. It is as resistant to change as Aziraphale is.

The bentley obviously represents Crowley and HIS needs and desires. My favorite description of Crowley has always been “loose living”. It just fits so well. Crowley loves change. He loves new fashion and new music and all the new and wonderful ideas humans come up with. While the bookshop is stationary, the bentley can take Crowley wherever he wants to go whenever he wants to do it very quickly.

In this season, both the bookshop and the bentley evolve to almost become their own characters. It’s more apparent with the bentley but it’s still noticeable with the bookshop. You just have to watch for it. (i wish i could tell you what to look for but i have no idea. the vibes. it’s the vibes. i just get anthropomorphic/sentient vibes)

And in this new season, the symbols change with Aziraphale and Crowley. Suddenly, Aziraphale is driving the bentley and Crowley is looking after the bookshop.

Crowley doesn’t like when Aziraphale changes the bentley’s color to yellow. “My car is not yellow. It has never been yellow. It is not going to start being yellow now.” While this is silly, it also shows that there is a bit of Aziraphale’s resistance to change in him. This one thing in his life he wishes to remain constant.

And although it’s not Crowley’s doing but rather Gabriel’s, the bookshop changes as well. Gabriel rearranges the books and weirdly enough, Aziraphale is very supportive of this because it’s in the name of making it harder for customers to buy them. Aziraphale loves owning a bookshop but loves NOT selling books more (insert something about the thrill of the chase and/or the real treasure was the fun we had along the way here)

We watch Aziraphale learn a sense of thrill that comes with going somewhere new when he takes the car to Edinburgh. Now that he no longer has higher-ups to report to, he was probably bored out of his mind. He finds playing detective quite invigorating and it is definitely the most exciting thing he’s done since Armageddon.

We watch Crowley entertain himself by meddling in the love lives of the local human population while taking on the mundane side quest of bookshop keeping. Crowley just got kicked out of his apartment, for christ’s sake and a 90 year old car is definitely not a stable living situation. Although he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, he is probably thrilled to be able to spend an extended period of time in the safe haven that is the bookshop.

The bookshop and the bentley go from not only representing Aziraphale and Crowley but now also representing Crowley and Aziraphale’s development. The symbols change into a vessel that brings Crowley peace he hasn’t known in a very long time and an outlet for Aziraphale to focus his pent up energy and eagerness into.

It potentially could be interpreted as they have had a taste into eachother’s lives and think they understand one another better. But as we all know, Crowley and Aziraphale’s fatal flaw is that they have TERRIBLE communication skills.

Crowley’s “you can’t leave this bookshop” and Aziraphale’s “nothing lasts for ever” stings so much because they were trying to speak eachother’s language.

Crowley has always been fast living and invited change. New fashion, new music, he even seemingly adapted to living in an apartment to living in his car pretty quickly.

Aziraphale has always been resistant to change. Same clothes, same music, same bookshop for centuries.

Crowley was trying to say “i’m willing to stay right here with you because that’s what you have always wanted and I want it a little bit too. ”

And Aziraphale was trying to say “i’m willing to try something new with you because that’s what you like to do and I liked doing it too.”

But that’s not what they heard.

Aziraphale heard “everything that we are is going to stay the exact same. Our relationship isn’t going to get worse but it’s also not going to get any better either.”

Crowley heard “everything that we are was only ever temporary. This is it. This is all. It’s time to move on again.”

They were too busy trying to speak eachothers language that they forgot to listen in their own.

So at the end, Crowley gets in his bentley and leaves. This time around, he doesn’t want to. This time there is change and he hates it. He wants things to go back to how they were and stay that way. The Bentley goes from representing moving forward to representing moving on.

And Aziraphale abandons the bookshop. Because he wants things to change and he wants to make a difference. And nothing can change in a place like the bookshop (common ground. a place of peace. a literal embassy) The Bookshop goes from representing something stable to something stagnant.

The end credits were beautifully tragic. It was a satisfyingly unsatisfying end. We the audience crave a different outcome just like Crowley and Aziraphale do.

I cannot wait for Crowley and Aziraphale to get their cottage at the end of this. Because it’s a perfect marriage of what they both desire. It’s something new and different yet something permanent and comfortable. It’s something that is theirs.

However, we aren’t there yet and it’s going to be a long while before we get there. Please watch and rewatch both seasons. Not only that, watch ALL of your favorite shows and movies. Continue to support SAG-AFTRA and The WGA strikes. Rate the show highly. Donate. Show these creatives behind all your favorite shows as much love and support you can. They deserve it.

[a-la-campanella]

I think I'll finish the main story update on Friday; I've spent a few hours on it between other obligations and as it stands, I'm a little over halfway done.

My schedule for tomorrow is crammed too, but I might get an hour or so of gameplay in. Everyone's been fun so far! A completely arbitrary favoritism tier list of the Penacony characters (STC):

Acheron—the red text? HI3 Mei references? And her overall aesthetic design... she ate up so well. I want her viscerally, carnally, and every way I can have her.

Sunday—his in-game CN voice caught me off guard more than I'd like to admit. I've heard his voice from the 1.6 trailer, but hearing it in game felt more off-putting. He's short? And the same height as Stelle? The way he stands is a kind of... if I speak, I'm in trouble.

Firefly—I will cry.

Misha—his eyes look like keyholes and the doors of the Reviere Hotel. From what I've gotten up to, he definitely seems to have a deeper connection to the overall plot. And his animations are cute!

Aventurine—he's... also shorter than I expected. It makes the scene with Dr. Ratio a little funny, actually. His eyes look cool, and I'm interested in knowing more about his past before the IPC! As expected, business major vibes, though he lays it on a little too thick to not be intentional. I didn't expected the comments from Dr. Ratio and Sparkle... at least in Dr. Ratio's case, I expected better, but he's already proven to be quite prejudiced in his approach to education.

Sam—haven't met him yet, but I quite like the Stellaron Hunters, and he's one of them, too!

Sparkle—she's funny. I like that. I don't know how much I trust her on Masked Fools lore yet, but I'll take any Aha lore regardless of the facts. She's also antagonistic towards Aventurine, but he did stalk her for 45 system minutes, so I can understand being a bit put off by that (those comments were rather over the top, though...).

Robin—she's pretty and definitely some percentage of lesbian. Her dress is so nice! I love her design. Though for someone who's whole thing is being in the limelight, we don't really get to see much of that (yet?).

Black Swan—Garden of Recollection lore has me on an email list. Unfortunately, I don't dig her design that much.

Gallagher—not my type, haven't seen enough to move him up the ranks.

For Duke Inferno and the rest of the Annihilation Gang—I still don't think they're showing up.

[samglyph]

Wait not to steer you back to Red Valley when you’re most recently talking about Malevolent (great episode! I too missed John!) but what did you think about the big time skip in season 2? When Aubrey was listening to the tapes that revealed how everything happened?

I’m of two minds about it. On the one hand it’s definitely jarring, and I don’t think I loved it when it was initially revealed. However, despite the time jumps, after that became clear season two was (mostly) easier for me to follow than season one (though that may be because I had gotten slightly better at differentiating character voices). There are also time jumps in season one, they’re just less expected and not as at the forefront of the plot. Essentially what they did was they forcefully recreated the exact same situation as season one (and wywhs) (having a found footage inside found footage situation. Recordings of people listening to other recordings)- the forty year mark seems rather arbitrary, other than to sound dramatic while sticking in the realm of human lifespan realism. I suspect the third season will give us some context as to what happened in that gap.

Also to reiterate: Aubrey is my favorite character. So I liked hearing more of her.

[mintacle]

Have you seen the "Invictus" Jason Todd Death Day Animatic by shyuwe? It's amazing and I want someone good at saying thoughts on the internet to talk about it.

Sorry for the late reply anon and no I had not! But I watched it now and yeah it's cool, here's a link to the vid by @shyuwe.

I find it really difficult honestly to talk about art, because good art already says more than words could express about it, you know? Just watch the video and see for yourself! However I will say something about the choice of the poem "Invictus" by Willima Ernest Henley, from Life and Death for Jason, because omg yes! Continued under cut.

Here's the poem first:

Invuctus means as much as unconquerable or undefeated. Frankly a title I can stand by for Jason. Seeing as one of my favorite aspects of Jason's character is his representation of victims and I stand by the fact that we are undefeated by what has happened to us. The word recognizes the gravity of what has happened and pays homage to your experience and finally we get to see ourselves not only as the sufferers of a poor fate, but also the victors, you're still standing. And I will be the last person to ever tell someone how that "standing" has to look like to be undefeated. Overcoming is not something you have to earn, you already overcame. You have nothing to prove to be undefeated.

The "unconquerable soul" is not exemplified in the body that is standing tall more than in the body that is slumping and panting, no matter how you stand or breath, you are still breathing. The other verses of the first stanza are rather straightforward in setting the stage. Our main character is in the black of the night, in the belly of the whale. They are where all is lost and seems hopeless, but that does not mean they are defeated.

Moving on to the second stanza. This part of the poem acknowledges a disillusioned worldview. It is hard to perceive the world as still containing beauty and hope after trauma. And yet you can be unafraid. And I do hope for everyone who has suffered to be able to return to a previous, more naive, less burdensome, perspective. But if you can't, then frankly that is alright, it does not have to diminish your spirit. I think Jason incorporates a lot of the concept of lost innocence, of not being able to return to how things were. But while Jason does grieve his own loss, he does not lose hope to that fact.

Finally, the last stanza, as a call to the strength of autonomy. Now Bruce might like to think he works alone, but Batman's strength lies in his allies. Jason however has perfected himself into the deus ex machina of himself. He has learnt that sometimes there is no powerful saviour who will swoop in for you. Jason is a one man army in combat skill, knowledge and in practice as well. We have seen team-ups, but they never seem to stick. Something about Jason screams lone wolf.

Because the truth is, after trauma, the only person you want to feel is strong enough to protect you is yourself. In a realistic sense, trauma does not make you dependent on other people, it can make you want to become the most whole and in control person you can be. This is why some children from abusive and neglectful homes have incredible emotional reflectivity and recognition skills. They will not be victims of the arbitrariness of emotions any longer and have mastered the flow of their own and others emotions just to feel a semblance of control. It's why victims might have incredible scheduling and self-discipline skill. Coming out of an unpredictable and volatile situation they have gained control of their surroundings. It's why vicitms might be high-achievers in academics, because they know what is expected and they can control their input and actually get the reward that was promised. Jason is to me an epitome of effective pragmaticism. He knows the value of reliability and certainty. Rather than going in hotheaded in an attempt to murder a man for trafficking children, he employs a failsafe by also poisoning his energy drink. Because Jason is the one in control. He orchestrates a distraction for Batman and spends three hours creeping up on the Batmobile to plant a bomb. His anger doesn't ignite him like an explosion, it fuels him, like the steady supply of purpose.

Jason is in command now, the captain of his soul. Because let us face it, so far Jason's life has been shaped only by other people. His parents' deaths, Bruce adopting him, Sheila betraying him, the Joker murdering him, Superboy Prime's punch returning him to life. Jason's life has been so far out of his autonomy and control, but he claims command of his soul and of his fate. No one has set him on his vengeance trip against Bruce and against the Joker. No one defines Jason anymore. Bruce does not actually have the power to grant whether or not Jason is a hero, It's Jason's jurisdiction now who he is and if he says he is a hero, the patron saint to victims, the avenging spirit of the innocent, then yes, he is.

This is not only about strength in the face of adversity, this is about the fact that you are the only authority you need, your autonomy is the only justification and permission you need to continue being strong. No one fucking else gets to decide for you anymore.

[pcttrailsidereader]

Top Ten PCT Books

There is an overwhelming abundance of books in the pantheon of PCT literature. I have read many over the past 40+ years (often in the process of developing the three anthologies . . . see #2). I have given some thought recently to my Top Ten PCT books. It is a rather arbitrary list certainly influenced by my own preferences and the reality that many of the early voices were male. I am confident that I have missed some worthy choices and would invite readers to submit their favorites.

RH

The Pacific Crest Trail: Exploring America's Wilderness Trail by Mark Larabee and Barney Mann

My rationale for putting this beautiful coffeetable book at the top of my list is that it captures the spectacle of the PCT in photos, includes essays about the history and culture of the trail, and rounds things out with profiles of the people of the trail. I never tire of flipping through and relishing the photos. There are other excellent books of photos from the PCT, but this is a comprehensive resource under one cover.

2. The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: California; The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: Oregon and Washington (Edited by Rees Hughes and Corey Lewis) and Crossing Paths: A Pacific Crest Trailside Reader (Edited by Rees Hughes and Howard Shapiro)

While I admit to a certain bias, the 150 short stories captured in this trilogy reflects the full range of PCT people and experiences in, for the most part, their own words. It really is a 'must read' for those interested in a full appreciation of the PCT. It also draws from many of the individual accounts of walking the trail that would otherwise dominate your bookshelves.

3. The Great Alone by Tim Voors

Of all of the many accounts of walking the PCT, why did I elevate this particular account? I have read countless memoirs written by PCT hikers. They are all deeply personal accounts of hiking the same 2,650 miles, generally with a few variations here and there.  Most are enjoyable, a few are tedious or self-important, but virtually all suffer from following a similar formula.  Any of you who have read even a handful know the formula – preparing for the trail, physically and mentally adjusting to trail life through the desert and the High Sierra, marveling at trail culture, persevering through the monotonous Northern California and Oregon stretch, and the race to the end through the wet and often white spectacular North Cascades.  It is delightful to find a memoir that carves its own unique path.  Tim Voors in The Great Alone has done just that.

Throughout his time on the trail, Voors spends some serious time devoted to reflection that he gracefully weaves into the story of his walk north.  He manages to share his introspection in a way that never seems tedious and rarely seems forced.  What if I die tomorrow?  Quitting.  Restructuring your life around your dreams.  Do I believe in God?  Much of what he learns comes from the wisdom of hikers a generation younger than him. I believe his honesty and candor makes his reflections engaging as does his self-deprecating humor.  It may help that Voors shares my own belief that walking the PCT is richest when it includes a spiritual experience where hikers think about themselves and the world around them and their role in the world.

Voors, who is Dutch, demonstrates his command of English throughout the book.  In addition, his simple watercolor paintings (he is aptly known as ‘Van Go’ on the trail) and the photos he has included enrich the total experience of reading the book.  I would rarely comment on the choice of paper used in printing the book, but I really liked the thick, textured paper (which seems to be a trademark of the publisher, Gestalten).  The graphics throughout the book are exceptional and add measurably to the quality of the reading experience.

4. Wanderlust: A History of Walking by Rebecca Solnit or On Trails: An Exploration by Robert Moor

Pick one of these two books. Although Moor talks about the PCT in On Trails, both Solnit and Moor offer the best homage to 'walking' among the many philosophical treatments available. They are the books I wish I had written about pedestrianism.

5. The High Adventure of Eric Ryback by Eric Ryback

Ryback's account of his 1970 hike from Canada to Mexico on a trail that was often just a concept elevated the profile of the PCT. Read by dreamers like me (and thousands of others), Ryback's book was my first exposure to the PCT and the impetus for me to walk the PCT. It captured the spirit of adventure that has drawn hikers to the trail in the decades since.

6. A T'hru-Hikers Heart: Tales on the Pacific Crest Trail by Ray "No Way" Echols

Ray Echols collection of essays, compiled following Ray's tragic death along Deep Creek by his widow, Alice Tulloch, is also not your typical PCT account. I have kept this book in my collection because I find the depth of Ray's experiences, the strength of his feeling, the wisdom of his writing so exceptional. In it all, he manages to capture why I return to the trail year after year.

7. Seven Summers (and a few bummers) by Bob Welch

As I mentioned before, I am disinclined to include accounts of walking the Pacific Crest Trail that begin in the desert south and proceed linearly and predictably. However, I found Bob Welch’s account of completing the PCT with his brother-in-law, Glenn, refreshingly bumpy (and very real).  Written with self-deprecating humor, Seven Summers seems part Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods, part Barney Mann’s Journeys North, but all uniquely the Oregon Boys (Bob and Glenn’s trail name).  The Oregon Boys dealt with hypothermia, fire, quitting (and starting again), the realities of work and family, snow, injury, and more, but in the course of 11 years they finished the PCT.

The book captures the special challenge of being a section hiker. As Welch observes near the end of the book, section hiking necessitated thirty-two travel days,“ just getting to and from that trail, that encompassed more than 17,000 miles, just so I could hike 2,650 miles.” He continued, “Some 180 miles of extraneous hiking miles [were] needed to get to and from trail heads; to follow “workarounds” because of fire closures; to get off-trail water and food; and to return to points that we overshot”.

Welch, a lifelong journalist and author of a number of other books, makes the book an enjoyable read. By the end of the book you feel a special connection with Bob and Glenn and their spouses. Seven Summers touches on the changing nature of the PCT, profiles a number of hikers on the trail, captures the essence of trail culture, and the PCT experience. In addition, it is a pleasure to read a well-crafted book. And only a few times did I tire of Welch’s humor.

I appreciated the inclusion of photos, maps, special charts (“Breakdown of the 17 Section Hikes”, how he put everything in his pack, his equipment list, a best and worst list, the PCT experience by the numbers, etc.), and some delightful illustrations by Don White.

8. The Pacific Crest Trail: A Visual Compendium by Joshua M. Powell

This is another unique and very entertaining treatment of the PCT. I loved his collection of lists and notes of every possible (and some I never would have thought of) aspect of a thru-hike on the PCT. Powell shows us the various flora and fauna he discovered along the trail. Everything from pileated woodpecker to lupine. Paintbrush to rattlesnake and many, many more. He goes on to create illustrations of notable buildings found in trail towns and illustrates an alphabet from scripts seen along the trail. He describes his mental struggles, landmarks, weather, and specific trail notes. There are numerous easy to read charts and graphs and stunning graphics.  Everything from elevations of various sections to traits shared by thru-hikers and characters in Steinbeck novels.

9.Journeys North by Barney 'Scout' Mann

Scout's treatment of his PCT thru-hike experience is the most traditional of those included in my top 10 list. He has the advantage of a long and rich association with the trail . . . as a hiker (along with his wife Sandy . . . aka 'Frodo'), as a long-time devoted trail angel, as a PCT board member, as an advocate for the PCT and for the national trail system. That history gives his account additional 'heft' often missing in other accounts.

10. Thru-Hiking Will Break Your Heart by Carrot Quinn

Carrot Quinn authored one of my favorite PCT blogs/journals; one I followed religiously on her trek north. Cleverly written and insightful, I think I appreciated it even more because Carrot's take on the experience was so different from my own. Written with humor and, at times, a biting insight, I think that Carrot's writing helped me take my own PCT experience a little less nobly and self-importantly.

Other Contenders: I really like Suzanne Roberts's Almost Somewhere: 28 Days on the John Muir Trail, but did not include it because it is limited to the JMT. Roberts is a wonderful writer. I also enjoyed Gail D. Storey's I Promise Not to Suffer: A Fool for Love Hikes the Pacific Crest Trail. It is clever and fun but did not make the cut because, like Cheryl Strayed, Gail walked less than half of the PCT. I also tend to discount books written about fast-walking the trail because, while I admire the tenacity and strength for such an achievement, I am biased against those that don't savor the PCT experience.

[sigs-gurney]

I learned about the insane world of slap-fighting - a REAL sport mind you - and gave some of my coworkers slap-fighter names

Here goes it:

Manager 1 - Stick Bug (tall and lanky, has somewhat stunted movements and a gate like a stick bug, anxious af and rather harmless but I think if he swung hard enough his stiff arms could do some real damage)

Manager 2 - White Knight (he is the most unproblematic white boy with a mostly unpassionate flat affect, also stood up for me against that one coworker)

General Manager - Hidden Switch Blade (I just think he’d carry one just bc it’s funny)

Assistant Manager - Karrot Kake (ginger and slightly pudgy, also appreciates stupid things like replacing hard c’s at the beginning of words with k’s)

Coworker 1 - Brokeback Bastard (big lad who jokes regularly about his degenerative disk disease, a hetero who can do the splits better than most drag queens hence the gay name)

Coworker 2 - Blindsider (basically blind without her glasses, but unexpectedly strong and powerful [met Coworker 1 at a party and punched him bc he drunkenly asked her to after she drunkenly hit him by mistake once already and then knocked him literally off his feet, they’re married now])

Coworker 3 - Shooting Star (name begins with “star” irl, has a very strong personality that overwhelms me on occasion but she’s very sweet)

Coworker 5 - Little Shit (older lady who doesn’t speak any English aside from swear words and names, “little shit” is her favorite thing to say in English [all the managers either speak or have learned some Spanish to communicate with her and taught her said swear words])

Me - Biggie Bendy Straw (one coworker compared himself to Tupac and myself as Biggie and it stuck bc I am teeny and absolutely not gangsta, hyper mobile and have shown most of my coworkers videos/pics of me fitting into tiny spaces [have arranged with coworkers to prank Stick Bug by crawling out of empty cabinets eventually])

Don’t have anymore names atm, but I have decided what type/color of cat everyone would be bc I’ve always LOVED cats and it has permanently affected how I view and understand people my whole life

Me - fluffy colorpoint munchkin (colorpoints are one of my favorite colors, fluffy cats r cool, and I can fit into small spaces)

Manager 1 - black and white cat (almost definitely undiagnosed ASD and takes everything very seriously and at face value)

Manager 2 - white shorthair (see unproblematic whitey statement, impeccably clean and wears the same style pants but in different colors every day)

GM - grey shorthair (very calm and goofy, nonchalant about most things, everyone respects)

AM - short ginger tabby (see ginger above, gets along with everyone)

Coworker 1 - dumb orange and white tabby with busted up tail (ADHD and accident prone and has many scars from it but iron fortitude)

Coworker 2 - solid tortoiseshell (assertive and takes no shit but also kind)

Coworker 3 - fabulous greying silver and white tabby longhair (very glam personality, ate it up in the 70s)

Coworker 4 - short greying black shorthair (arbitrary color choice bc black cats are just my favorite and she is very very sweet)

Some others I didn’t mention before

Manager 3 - black medium hair (has nice poofy haircut and has a cool moon-related style)

Manager 4 - mousey brown shorthair (has brown hair, quiet but efficient, I made a joke about her cooking a mouse in the oven when she burned bread one time [it smelled bad and def wasn’t a mouse but I have done that on accident at home bc we get mice in the winter])

Coworker 6 - rusty tabby (friendly and mischievous, pulls pranks on Stick Bug on the reg, has gotten hit by cars riding his bicycle numerous times but has never gotten more than a scratch, dumpster dives for no particular reason other than to entertain himself [also tells harmless over exaggerated stories so maybe the car thing has only happened a couple of times])

Coworker 7 - dilute calico and white (boisterous and jokey, usually pretends she understands what you’re talking about but will immediately admit she doesn’t if you ask)

Coworker 8 - generic brown tabby (usually slacks off when he can but still gets his bread, very very southern accent so he reminds me of a barn cat)

And that’s it. Enjoy ig lol

[euyrdice]

hi i saw ur post about villains and asking for advice! i dont rlly write so i apologise for my limited scope but i think its worth considering just very compelling motives or a path to villainy. i personally find a compelling villain like u said is humanised it grounds their villainy in something real and gives actual backing to their motives when done well. the capability for kindness and regular human qualities also makes their capability for evil even more terrifying and in bringing them closer to the audience, even blurs the lines of what separates a villain from regular people that anyone can be like that. regular people, the assumed good may also possess similar qualities within them which brings up interesting questions of what the separation is, and if its arbitrary.

but ofc a good villain doesnt exist alone, i find when a villain is able to reflect off of the protagonist they can be at their best. they actually have something to oppose rather than a faceless city of helpless unrelated citizens. like u said u liked shigaraki right? shigaraki and midoriyas backstories could be mirrors, their mentorship under all for one and all might also act as mirrors. yet they descend dramatically different paths in life. im not rlly going in depth cuz i dont rlly know abt bnha but being able to examine both sides allows both sides to shine

now like villains i think by definition r Villainous. they cause some sort of harm n terror but antagonists dont have to be evil! a hero can be an antagonist in a story about a villain (sorry if this is redundant im sure u alr know this)

this is just a ramble lol sorry!!!

my friend!!!!!!! hello!!!!!! so good to see u lab :-) <3333

im so sorry for this response being quite late i hope u know i wasnt ignoring u!!!! it was my first week back to classes and its been So Much. i wanted to wait to respond until i knew i could do so with full attention bc this was so kind of u! so hello!!!

i think you’re so right!! I’ve been working on a story for my creative writing class and one of my characters is a villain/anti-hero, and i as the writer struggled to figure out how to make them likable, even for me. which doesn’t make for good writing, because a writer should love their characters! but highlighting the human aspect as you suggested will be really helpful i think, especially because that's what i personally am usually so drawn to in any character. and like you said their regular human qualities make them so compelling and terrifying. kindness in villains is always SO interesting i love those slivers of empathy and gentleness esp with how they contrast to everything else. i really love the idea of blurring the lines between what makes them a villain and just like anyone else… i saw a quote while researching that was something along the lines of “the most terrifying villains are the ones we could imagine becoming.”... making the villain as relatable and human as possible i think will be really helpful for me!!

i also love what u said about the qualities being so similar that the separation is questioned, and if it's arbitrary!!! i had to look up what arbitrary meant ngl djfjsdfhfd but thats so so interesting lab!!!! what really makes them a villain? does everyone view of them as a villain? i could also see these questions really rattling the protagonist/heroes view and making them question themselves and their perspective of the world and morality.

good villain doesnt exist alone love that love that. relationships are my favorite part of any art really and i love thinking about the villain in relation to other meaningful characters, most especially the protagonist they are against. ooo the villain reflecting off of the protagonist… i dont think you’re alone in finding thats when they’re at their best! characteristics in the hero that can be found in the villain, just used in different ways or at different extremes or in completely contrasting directions.... hmmmm. are you drawn to more villainous characters in media? i’d love to know which ones you like! i don’t really know a lot of villains tbh… other than in bnha and magneto i rarely pay deep attention to them, which i really should start doing.

ur soo right with the mirroring protag and antag in bnha… shigaraki and midoriya’s paths are so similar it’s heartbreaking and v well done i think. and something that draws me to shigaraki is his backstory, and how tragic it is, and the tragedy in knowing that shigaraki could have been like midoriya if he had met someone like allmight instead of all for one. i think theres something there i can use..

the villain by definition has to be Villianous… so simple but so true and what i think im struggling with. u didnt ask for this dfkjsd but i think i want my protag and villain to be drawn to one another, and maybe like an enemies to friends to teammates thing… but im questioning how i can believable get there when areas in their morals contrast so deeply ect ect wah wah whatever

ALSO DONT APOLOGIZE!!!!!!! AT ALL!!!!!! thank you so much for this. like so so sincerely thank you so much. you didnt have to write this but you went out of your way to help me and i appreciate it so much and it means so much to me. thank you for being so kind to me. i love speaking with u. ALSO SO SORRY I HAVENT SENT THE ASK ABOUT KISE IVE BEEN NOT GREAT LATELY WITH SCHOOL AND STUFF IM REALLY SORRY

also have u ever though about writing? i think you’d be really good at it :)

also you’re like so cool??? like you’re just so in depth and attentive with analysis and i luv talking w u and i just think u’re so cool. u drew me a lovely kise and loona picture, so here is my attempt at izuki because i know u love him. except he’s EVIL here and wearing an evil collar and cape and he hates puns (mwahahaha)…

cannot thank you enough for going out of your way to help me lab :-) means so so much. you're a star and i hope the world is kind to u forever. pls never stop talking with me and i hope its ok for me to randomally pop in your asks and blog and bother u dsjfkhsdf