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twistedtummies2 · 3 months ago

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Top 10 H.P. Lovecraft Stories

My previous two lists covered my favorite works from my favorite author, one who is synonymous with horror and mystery: Edgar Allan Poe. In truth, very few authors over the decades have had quite the reputation Poe has, in terms of macabre literature…but if there’s one author who is considered classic to the genre and has come close, it’s Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

H.P. Lovecraft was an…unusual individual, to say the least, even in his own time. To paraphrase a video summary of his life, he was not a man with issues, but rather a bundle of issues in the shape of a man. There are MANY things that have made him a controversial figure as a person, but as a writer, one cannot deny the impact his work has had. He has become almost a genre in and of himself, with the phrase “Lovecraftian” and his favorite word, “eldritch,” being used to describe all manner of slimy and unfathomable horrors in years since his passing. Lovecraft’s work hinges on what he considered “the oldest and strongest kind of fear,” that being fear of the unknown. While there are certain aesthetic elements that are a constant throughout his work, and have their own sort of superficial iconography, the real genius behind Lovecraft’s writing is the sense of not really understanding or knowing the things that we are afraid of. He creates a world where humanity is considered small and insignificant, and our universe humble and refined. His work then pits these meager things against cosmic and ancient forces nobody is able to fully comprehend. Combine this idea with graphic descriptions of rot, decay, and body horror (and a big ol’ splash of icthyophobia) and you have the basic idea of what makes Lovecraft’s work iconic.

Since I already talked about Poe, I felt it was time to give Lovecraft some time in the spotlight. So - in continuation with my series of October countdowns - here are My Top 10 Favorite H.P. Lovecraft Stories.

10. Cool Air.

This story is actually kind of funny, when you really think about it, and especially when you realize why Lovecraft even made it. It was literally made…because H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of air conditioning. No, that is not a joke. Refrigerated air was a fairly new technology in Lovecraft’s time, and was becoming more and more in-vogue for home use, especially in more heavily urbanized areas. At the time he wrote this story, Lovecraft was living in Red Hook, Brooklyn (a place and a situation he utterly despised, for lots of reasons), and this story was him effectively venting his frustrations about his living situation, while also being concerned of how the technology and even possible medical uses it could have might be abused. (Yes, because…God forbid AIR CONDITIONING lead to the end of humanity.) Once you know this, this story becomes kind of hilarious, as his absurd paranoia is present in every page. With that said, the story itself isn’t too bad: inspired by Poe’s “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” (and the lesser-known story “The Novel of the White Powder” by Arthur Machen), the plot focuses on a writer living in Red Hook (gee, I wonder who that could be), whose upstairs neighbor is a mysterious physician named Dr. Munoz. The doctor is a kind and generous fellow, but has two noticeable eccentricities: he never leaves his apartment, and he has a HUGE air conditioning machine, which he runs at all hours, cranked up to the max, keeping himself and the room around him cold. When the machine breaks down…well…if you’ve read either of the two stories I already mentioned, you might already have an idea, but let’s just say, it ain’t pretty. While more funny than scary to me (unintentionally so), it’s still a tale I find interesting, and worthy of placement on the ranks.

9. Call of Cthulhu.

If you haven’t actually read much of Lovecraft’s body of work proper, this story being so low on the list might surprise you. And if you HAVE read a lot of Lovecraft’s work…it still may surprise you. “Call of Cthulhu” is arguably the most famous story the man ever wrote. It is widely regarded as the point where the Cthulhu Mythos (as the name of such implies) truly began, and in compilations of famous short horror stories, if there’s a Lovecraft story included anywhere, nine times out of ten it’s this one. Not to mention the title, itself: if you’re a big-time gamer, you’ll definitely recognize it. There’s a few video games, an RPG game, and a card game that ALL bear this title. However, in my opinion, the IMPACT of “Call of Cthulhu” is more noteworthy than the ACTUAL STORY itself. The plot focuses on a man named Francis Wayland Thurston, who - while going through the belongings left behind by a deceased relative - discovers the existence of a bizarre cult, which apparently spans the entire globe, with members secreted away everywhere in civilization. The cultists worship the ancient being known as Cthulhu: one of the Old Ones, the God-like creatures who are at the heart of Lovecraft’s mythos. He later learns of an encounter a group of sailors had with the monster…aaand that’s kind of it. The story doesn’t really have a solid plot, although it does escalate in its own way, which I admit I find admirable. However, that (plus the very, VERY overt racism present in it…which, frankly, is a problem with a LOT of Lovecraft’s work, and infamously so) I think is why I’m not AS into it as a lot of other people are. Still, it’s iconic enough to make the list, if only because of the impact of the titular creation. Cthulhu has arguably become just as iconic and notorious as many of the other great literary horror stars, such as Dracula, Frankenstein and His Creature, the Phantom of the Opera, and so on. There is good reason for this, and if nothing else, that earns this story some praise.

8. The Rats in the Walls.

Our protagonist for the outing is a man simply known as “Delapore,” who moves from America to England to take control of the ancestral estate of his family. He is accompanied only by his pet cats…and his favorite among them has a very awkward name, so I won’t be mentioning it here. Anyway, the spooky old place seems to be feared by the neighbors, but Delapore nevertheless decides to restore the aging manor house to its former glory. Things change when both he and his cat are plagued by the sounds of rats, scratching and burrowing within the walls of the mansion. To make matters worse, Delapore begins to have frightening dreams, in which he sees a demonic swineherd tending to a drove of “flabby beasts.” Deciding to rid himself of the pest problem, and hopefully put an end to his dreams, Delapore - with the help of a family friend and a couple of other associates - goes hunting for the rats, and in the process discovers a hidden passageway, leading deep down into the bowels of the Earth beneath the house. He soon discovers what appears to be the ruins of a hidden city…and a dark and terrible secret that has been in his family for ages. What happens when he learns the secret is shocking, to say the least. The story feels more Gothic in nature than many of Lovecraft’s other tales, while still having this sort of ambiguous grandness that his other works have, and contains subtle references to things that would, in later stories, be made part of the Cthulhu Mythos, which only adds to its unpleasant and unsettling atmosphere. This story is just plain creepy in the best possible way; whenever I hear the sound of mice or rats scurrying about now, I start thinking of this eerie tale.

7. Herbert West - Re-Animator.

If there is a singular CHARACTER that has become legendary in Lovecraft’s work - not a story, not a creature, not a concept, but a CHARACTER - it is undeniably Herbert West. Told in serialized format over the course of six separate short stories, “Re-Animator” relates the misadventures of the titular scientist, as he tries to create a chemical formula that will allow him to bring people back from the dead. The story is told from the perspective of West’s friend and assistant, who becomes increasingly afraid of West as the scientist’s experiments become more dangerous, and as his moral code continues to fray. While the story is morbid and horrific, it’s also very amusing…and this time, unlike with “Cool Air,” it’s MEANT to be amusing. Lovecraft wrote the story at the request of a friend, who wanted to publish it not in a horror or sci-fi magazine, but a comedy pamphlet! So, Lovecraft intentionally wrote the six connected stories as a sort of horror-comedy, mixing gory and gruesome morbidity with wry wit and deliberately over-the-top elements. By his own admission, he drew most heavily from “Frankenstein,” intending this to be a sort of satire of Shelley’s novel; while what West is doing isn’t PRECISELY the same, the parallels are pretty clear. The six-parter is also noteworthy for being one of the first appearances of what might be called stereotypical zombies: West’s experiments turn most of his “patients” into reanimated corpses, still in states of decay and decomposition, which animalistically feed on the flesh of the living. West himself, however, would be the story’s greatest legacy, as the mad doctor has become the subject of many adaptations and derivative works since, the most famous being the 1985 film starring Jeffrey Combs as the character. While there are several Lovecraft pieces I like more, this one still stands out, and is worthy of all the praise it gets and more.

6. The Color Out of Space.

Also called “The Colour Out of Space,” because regional spelling differences. Anyway, this story brings us to the heart of the cosmic-level types of horrors Lovecraft is so well-known for. It all begins in the rural town of Arkham, Massachusetts. (And yes, Batman fans, this is where the Asylum gets its name from.) A surveyor from Boston asks one of the few remaining locals in the run-down area about a wasteland region of Arkham referred to as “the blasted heath,” and why no one goes there. The local proceeds to tell the surveyor all about what happened there: of a mysterious meteorite that fell from the sky and landed on a farmer’s property. Of the strange globule, with a color no one can quite describe, they found inside of it. Of the farmer’s rise to fame and prosperity thanks to the strange event…and of the then rapid, horrifying decline of the farmer’s life, and the lives of all around him, as the cosmic horror begins to overwhelm them all. In a way, you can kind of consider this a horror version of “The Lorax,” of all things: a character wants to know why a mysterious wasteland is the way it is, and we learn that by messing with things that should not have been messed with, and not taking care to have the proper precautions, many lives were led to destruction, leaving nothing but gloom in the wake of the whole mess. Of course, giant space rocks containing mysterious and indescribable organisms don’t really compare to chopping down a few Truffula Trees, but you get the gist.

5. The Whisperer in Darkness.

The next two stories, starting with this one, are among Lovecraft’s most popular, as well as among the longest: they were actually published in serialized chapters before being released as novellas later on, a little bit like the Herbert West stories. “Whisperer in Darkness” begins when our main character, a literature professor named Albert Wilmarth, hears reports of the carcasses of alien lifeforms being discovered in Vermont. Wilmarth scoffs at the idea at first, disparaging the accounts of the creatures (referred to as Mi-Go), but changes his tune when an old acquaintance of his - Henry W. Akeley - begins a correspondence with him. Akeley claims to have seen the creatures, and later claims to have even killed one of them. Eventually, Akeley convinces Wilmarth to visit him, saying he’s made a breakthrough in his discoveries, and wants his friend to know. Wilmarth visits Akeley, whom he discovers apparently chair-ridden with a bizarre disease that affects his voice. Akeley tells Wilmarth that he no longer believes the Mi-Go are dangerous, claiming they actually want to help mankind…but the methods they plan to use are…unorthodox, to say the least. What’s interesting about this story and the horror it unveils is its layers of ambiguity: there’s a LOT of stuff here we don’t know. We don’t know if the aliens are genuinely evil or not; if what they plan to do is meant to be benevolent but ultimately misguided, or if it’s all some sort of horrifying scam. We also don’t know if what we find out has happened to Akeley was an act of cruelty or if he was as willing as claimed. Finally, we also don’t know what really happens to the Mi-Go at the end of the story: if they died, escaped and are still out there on Earth, or have fled back to their home base on Pluto. (Not even trying to be funny, that’s where their nearest outpost is located.) It’s a multi-layered and extremely unnerving story that really exemplifies the idea of “fear of the unknown” that Lovecraft was so hailed for.

4. At the Mountains of Madness.

While “Call of Cthulhu” and “Herbert West - Reanimator” likely have the most recognizable physical figures and titles of any Lovecraft story, I’d argue this was the most influential in terms of the actual story. “At the Mountains of Madness” is actually the inspiration for several other famous horror/sci-fi combos, including Ridley Scott’s “Alien” and John Carpenter’s “The Thing.” It is also what might be considered the ultimate culmination of the Cthulhu mythos, where the threads of various stories connected to the lore of Lovecraft all come together. The story tells of the adventures of a group of explorers in Antarctica, led by our main character, William Dyer. While on a geological expedition near the frigid South Pole, the explorers find what appear to be the ruins of a prehistoric city, and the fossilized remains of creatures referred to as “Elder Things.” Further exploration reveals that nearly all of the Elder Things were apparently wiped out in a race-related war between themselves and other beings known as the Shoggoths…and that somewhere, deep within the city’s bowels, an unspeakable evil that even these ancient monsters feared is still lurking. As the story goes on, it soon becomes clear that this mysterious evil - the true identity of which is never really made clear - is not all that is still alive in this ancient necropolis…and that the war between these prehistoric races may not really be over. It’s surprising that this story has never gotten a cinematic treatment, since it has been the inspiration for other great films…and with all the references contained to Lovecraft’s general body of work, you could basically call a film version of this story “Lovecraft: The Movie.” There have been rumors, over the years, of Guillermo Del Toro - who is a HUGE Lovecraft fan - making a film adaptation of the story…but with Del Toro’s reputation for picking up and dropping projects faster than I do chicken eggs, I don’t think there’s much hope for that anytime soon.

3. The Shadow Over Innsmouth. This is one of Lovecraft’s most famous tales, as well as one of his most exciting, in my opinion. Initially published - as many of his longer works were - in serialized format, the story actually ended up being one of the few novellas by Lovecraft published in proper book form during his lifetime. (In fact, it might have been the only one, but I’m not entirely sure there; feel free to correct me.) The story begins with our resident narrator and protagonist - Robert Olmstead - telling us of how he helped a government purging of the seaport town of Innsmouth, and then goes on to relate why this happened, and why he’s telling us. He explains how, while going on a tour all over New England, he was more or less forced to travel through Innsmouth…despite the fact that virtually no one ever goes there. It doesn’t take long for Robert to figure out why: he learns of how many of the people in the town worship the mysterious creature known as Dagon, and how the ones who live there don’t seem quite right. They look more or less human…at first, but as they get older, they start to develop strange features more akin to giant fish than to human beings. They also don’t like nosy visitors…so, when Olmstead comes a-calling, you can be darn sure they aren’t the most welcoming. It’s a wonderfully haunting read, with some great moments of tension. The twist at the end is also deliciously disturbing, and actually reminds me a lot of another Lovecraft tale…but that’s literally another story.

2. The Dunwich Horror.

Alongside “Shadow Over Innsmouth” and “Mountains of Madness,” I would argue this is one of the most cinema-worthy entries in Lovecraft’s catalogue of creepiness, as well as one of his most interesting. It was one of Lovecraft’s last-published short stories, and is widely regarded as one of his best; if any of his works is published in a compilation that ISN’T “Call of Cthulhu,” it’s nearly always “The Dunwich Horror,” and between the two, I actually prefer this tale. Unlike all the other stories on this list, it doesn’t have a narrator-protagonist figure, but instead is related directly to the reader, so to speak, in third-person format. It tells of a series of dark happenings in the “eldritch town of Dunwich,” a quaint little New England village where lives a kooky old hermit known as “Wizard Whateley.” One night, Whateley’s albino daughter, Lavinia, gives birth to a child they name Wilbur, but no one is sure who the father is. Wilbur turns out to be a peculiar young fellow, to say the least, as he ages exponentially faster than any human being, and has repulsive, almost Satanical features that give him the appearance of a man and a goat combined. As he grows, Wilbur becomes desperate to find a copy of the fabled Necronomicon, for unknown purposes. Wilbur isn’t the only thing to worry about, as people soon become aware of a strange and seemingly invisible…SOMETHING living in the attic of the Whateley home. I won’t give away what’s going on exactly, but the unfolding horror is deliciously disturbing, and - much like the previous two stories I mentioned - it’s also very exciting. While tensions rise, the fear escalates from a looming, ominous foreboding to shocking action and intensity. If you’re only going to read one entry of Lovecraft’s famous Cthulhu-Mythos-involved stories…then you should probably read “Mountains of Madness,” but this one’s a close second there, definitely.

1. The Outsider.

Not EVERYTHING H.P. Lovecraft wrote was related to the now-so-lauded Cthulhu Mythos. He did, especially in the earlier points of his career, write stories that were completely unique and self-contained. It is likely very ironic that my favorite Lovecraft story is exactly such a case. This little story, as far as I can tell, has no connection to the famous lore at all: it’s a complete one-off, and it is a FABULOUS one. The story focuses once again on a narrator-protagonist, this time one who has no name. He tells the reader that he spent a great deal of his life trapped in the dungeon of a decrepit old castle, forever entombed in the dark, with no knowledge of the outside world, and no memory of who he really is or where he comes from. His only comfort are some antique books he’s managed to find. In desperation, eager to see light and meet other people, he creeps his way through the crumbling castle in a perilous escape attempt, till he finally reaches the outside world. His hope and joy intensify when he comes across a bright and vibrant party…but after trying to join the party, his dream-come-true quickly transforms into a nightmare. I do not DARE tell you all what happens, because the twist ending to this story is one of my favorite twists in ANY story. The twist itself is a big part of what makes this story brilliant, but it’s also just a really well-told tale. It’s tragic, it’s exciting, it’s disturbing, and it has just enough ambiguity in it to keep you guessing as to what is REALLY going on and why. On top of that, the story speaks to its own title audience: the outsiders. I think nearly everyone has had this feeling of being an outcast or just not “part of the crowd” at some point in their lives. And while we ideally try to just do our own thing, many of us have wished we could join in the party. It’s a story that is as touching and poignant as it is extremely unsettling, and for that reason, it’s undeniably my absolute favorite of his works. There’s something personal, something unique, and something deceptively simple about “The Outsider” that so many of Lovecraft’s other pieces don’t have…and it’s all done, I should add, without a lot of the things that make his work occasionally hard for others to get into. There’s no racism, no alien words that are hard to pronounce, no complete misunderstandings of math and science…just the story of a lost and lonely soul, trying to find some happiness…and the horror he inadvertently discovers instead. It may not be as famous as “Call of Cthulhu” or “The Dunwich Horror,” but there is no doubt in my mind that “The Outsider” is my favorite H.P. Lovecraft story.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Dagon.

From Beyond.

The Terrible Old Man.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 10 #hp lovecraft #horror #literature #halloween #lovecraft

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jokersfangirl84 · 1 year ago

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Words Get in the Way

A Frankie Morales x F! Reader Fic

Chapter Three

Pairing: Francisco "Catfish" Morales x F! Reader

Summary: Four weeks have passed since Frankie came back to your place and made love to you for the first time after you both confessed your true love for one another, becoming more than friends. Afterwards he was called out for a mission to Colombia which was supposed to have only lasted a few days. You haven't heard from him in hours on the day he's scheduled to come home and you begin to think he's not returning. He introduces you to some interesting bedroom escapades you have never before experienced, and unveils some of his own personal kinks he'd been hiding for years. He has also brought you a rather unorthodox gift...with an unusual proposition...

Word Count: 5800+

Warnings/Ratings: M-Explicit! SMUT! SMUT! SMUT! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Nothing But smut!! Hooooooooo boy. I went out of control on this one. There are full descriptions of PIV Sex, unprotected sex (although I do strongly suggest wrapping it up), multiple orgasms, vaginal/anal fingering, oral sex (f! receiving), shower sex, sex against the wall, doggy style sex, hair pulling, spanking, rough sex (nothing too intense), kissing, touching, masturbation, dom/sub dynamic, dirty talk, vulgarity, profanity, TONS of F-bombs with which I may have gone overboard, several mentions of cock, pussy, ass. Mentions of possible past trauma. There are sprinkles of sweetness, worry, love, doing anything for the person with whom you're in love. Characters call each other "Baby" and "My Love" many times throughout.

Author's Notes: OH MY GOD. YALL. I have done a VERY bad thing. I should be ashamed. This is the dirtiest, sleaziest, horniest, smuttiest, filthiest thing I have ever written in my entire life. This makes Chapter 2 look very tame. Frankie is a very naughty, filthy boy in this. He hasn't seen his girl in weeks so he is feeling rather.....*ahem*....anxious. I can't believe I wrote this. I basically didn't hold back & let it all out & poured my heart and soul into it. This took me three months to finish because I kept doubting it would be any good. I kept getting in my feels; not only from the content itself but from being unable to convince myself I was any good at writing. I didn't think I ever would get it completed & almost gave up but I knew that wasn't an option. I really enjoyed writing this once I got in the groove & stopped overthinking everything. I want to thank all my wonderful friends for their encouragement & to all the incredibly talented writers out there whose material I turned to for inspiration and motivation. Y'all are amazing! I hope you enjoy this and hope it makes you feel the things you want to feel. Happy reading! Thank you for all your support!

Side Note: there's an unexpected twist! Not gonna say where but it's in there!

Below are the links for Chapters 1 & 2! Enjoy!

Stay tuned for Chapter 4!

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! I appreciate you so much!

Feedback is welcome!

Reblogs & likes are loved and appreciated!

Thank you to my besties @popcornforone @salgal78 @princessjenn420 and @fatimaisabelpascal for all your love, advice and encouragement to keep me writing and going forward with my ideas! I wouldn't have finished this chapter without you guys' precious support! I love you so much! @harriedandharassed @sherala007 you asked to be tagged in chapter 3 so here you go! Please enjoy!

(Reader's POV)

You stood in the shower letting the steaming water flow carelessly over you, resisting the impulse to have an emotional breakdown. There'd been no contact from Frankie since he last texted you saying his plane landed, his luggage was located, and he was on his way. That was four hours ago. You called him repeatedly; straight to voicemail each time. No replies to your frequent "where are you?" "are you okay?" texts to him. You even contacted Pope, Redfly, Ironhead, and Benny asking about his whereabouts. No one had heard from him since deboarding the plane and going their separate ways. Panic began settling in. Sinister thoughts crowded your mind:

He isn't returning to you. He has changed his mind. He has taken Erica back or found someone else. He made love to you, gave you what you wanted, and now he has nothing to do with you.

You shook your head, silently telling yourself not to think that way. Frankie would never treat you in such a manner. He is not that person. He has always been there for you. He meant every word he said when he told you he loves you.

You still wondered where the hell he was, and why he wasn't replying to you. Maybe he stopped to get a bite to eat and left his phone in the car. Maybe he decided to go to his place first for a nap and forgot to set an alarm. Convincing yourself these were plausible reasons for his absence helped you push the negative thoughts aside. You continued scrubbing the sweat and grime off your body accumulated from cooking dinner and cleaning your apartment all day, preparing for Frankie's arrival. You haven't seen him in four weeks and you needed to get a shower in before he showed up.

(Frankie's POV)

Frankie arrived at your apartment fifteen minutes after your shower started. He let himself in, setting his black duffel bag on the sofa. Your apartment smelled like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, his favorite. A full two dozen waited for him on the stove. Sitting on the counter was a crockpot full of boiling homemade stew. The rumbling hunger in his stomach intensified. He hadn't eaten much all day, only the unsatisfactory meals on the plane. He couldn't wait to get to your place knowing you'd have something fantastic prepared for him.

"I'm here, Baby. Where's my girl?" You were nowhere to be found. Not in the living room, not in the kitchen. He could hear music coming from the bathroom down the hall, hear the faint roar of the shower running, see steam clouds seeping through the barely cracked-open door, smell your floral body wash. He pushed it open wider, peeking inside.

"Baby, it's me." No reply. You were too busy singing along to your favorite tune to hear him. He stiffened against his jeans when he heard your angelic voice; saw your nude silhouette behind the glass door. The idea of surprising you and making you scream the way he did on the sofa a few weeks ago popped into his mind. His brain constantly replayed the events of that night. He loved the sounds he was able to coax out of you as he fucked you for the first time after years of longing. Loved how his name rolled off your tongue, how your nails felt digging into his skin, how your worlds collided when you confessed your true feelings for each other. He could still feel you clenching around him as he made you cum. God, he wanted-no, needed more of this. He needed you.

Knowing how much you disliked having your personal space invaded made him change his mind about joining you. He closed the door and made his way back to the living room, making a pit stop in the kitchen to grab a few cookies, consuming them in seconds. He made himself comfortable in the recliner, closed his eyes, pulled his cap down, hands resting on his belly, fingers interlocked. His body felt limp with exhaustion, in great need of rest. He was beyond relieved to be back in the States. This extra-long trip to Colombia had been a nightmare. The mission was only scheduled to have lasted three days. Plans went astray in every possible way: flights were delayed, vehicles broke down, the group received inadequate pay (even after being promised a much larger sum; the main reason the job was taken), desperate measures were executed by the guys during an ambush.

Your soothing singing, the only noise filling the entire dwelling, urged him to fall asleep. Images of what you looked like in the shower appeared behind his eyelids; the soapy water trailing down your body, over your breasts and erect nipples, down your stomach, between your thighs as you glided your favorite loofah over your skin. Your soft, delicate hands massaging their way through your hair. You pleasuring yourself with the hand-held shower nozzle while thinking of him....his name on your lips...begging to be fucked....

He began sleepily palming himself through his pants. He wondered how much time you had left in the shower. You were notorious for making them last longer than necessary. He opened his belt and zipper and wrapped a hand around his already-hard cock, flicking his index finger over his leaking tip, giving himself a couple of languid strokes, almost in a deep sleep. The more he pictured you being wet, naked, and vulnerable, the faster his strokes became. He was on the verge of climaxing when his eyes shot open, coming to a realization.

Wait a minute. Why the fuck am I doing this? There is someone who can take care of your needs...and she's only a few feet away…

He climbed out of the recliner and made his way to the bathroom. Fuck it. He was going to join you whether you liked it or not.

(Reader's POV)

You were rinsing the shampoo out of your hair when you thought you felt an unusual cool breeze behind you. You shrugged it off, knowing the shower door had a tendency to slide open a little on its own. The feel of large, familiar masculine hands on your shoulders startled you; soft fingertips pushing your hair aside allowing luscious lips to kiss the back of your neck. You turned around and saw Frankie standing in the shower with you, his lips slightly parted, a few water droplets mapping his bare chest. His cock big and swollen, in need of attention.

"Hi, Baby." He grinned. "Stop ogling me. I need to kiss you now."

You didn't realize your head was cocked to one side, and you were smiling. "I'm not ogling you, My Love. I'd call it...admiring the craftsmanship."

He snorted, running both hands through his misty hair. "Craftsmanship, huh? Since you put it that way, I'll let you look a little longer."

You took a moment to admire him, your eyes slowly following his physique from head to toe. Damn, what a sight he is. His lean, virile 5'11" frame was held up by strong legs, long torso, wide shoulders, and most glorious neck. His hair is just past regulation length, unruly strands tickling his eyes. The subtle thickness of his waistline and uneven beard - perfect imperfections - making your heart swell with even more love for him. He's the most beautiful man you've ever seen. The kind of man you want to touch constantly but are afraid to do so; he's such an immaculate, delicate work of art.

You noticed he had a fresh, deep six-inch long scar on his left pectoral near his collarbone. You stepped closer to him, placing your fingertips next to the scar.

"Frankie! What is this?!" You tried to conceal the worry in your voice. "Did this happen on the mission? What happened?"

A plethora of scars decorated his chest, abdomen, arms, even on his hands. Cuts, scratches, and bruises of various shapes and sizes. This particular wound, however, looked recently inflicted, like it came from a blade.

"Don't worry about it" was his sharp response. He put his hands up in front of him. "Trust me, it's nothing major. A little mishap is all it is."

"Is every scar you have a mishap? Are they from.....her? What are you not telling me?"

You knew mentioning Erica would strike a nerve in him. You weren't intending to be crude; only genuinely concerned about what he'd been through, who or what had hurt him. He had mentioned nothing to you about being injured. There was evident pain behind his eyes.

He tensed up. Jaw clenched. Hands on hips. He licked his lips and swallowed hard.

"Baby, please. Don't. Now is not the time."

You put your hands on his face pushing his long bangs away from his eyes. His cheeks were red hot; it wasn't from the water temperature. "It's not my objective to trigger you, My Love. I'm just cur-"

"-I said drop it." His voice had become low and minatory. "I never discuss my scars with anyone, including you."

His words stung a little. You hung your head, your eyes now giving the floor attention. This is the man you love, your best friend. You want to know everything about him. Want him to feel comfortable pouring his heart out to you and tell you all his deepest, darkest secrets without judgment. As long as you've known him you knew he was never one to discuss feelings. You hoped being in an actual relationship with him would make him feel like an open book.

Frankie put a finger under your chin, lifting your gaze back to him. "I'm sorry, Baby. I didn't mean to snap at you." His voice returned its softness. "Believe me, I want to tell you about my scars as much as you want to know about them. I will. I promise. The time will come."

You nodded and smiled. "Yes, My Love. Understood."

"Please can I kiss you now?" His eyes bolted from your eyes to your lips. "Those lips are looking awfully lonely."

You laughed. "You don't have to ask."

Frankie gently pushed you up against the shower wall, enveloping your mouth in a passionate, desirous kiss. His hands were on your breasts, thumbs flicking across your nipples, fingers massaging the soft flesh. You both were now directly under the shower head, the warm water cascading down your faces, mixing with your lips and tongues. Ripples flooded your body when you felt his hard tip pressed against you, making you yearn for him even more.

"I missed you", he said between kisses. "I know I should've been here earlier. Fuckin' truck wouldn't start after I finally located it in the parking lot. Took me an hour to find someone to give me a boost."

You ran your hands through his hair. "I missed you too, My Love. I tried calling you several times. Every time you didn't answer I kept thinking something terrible happened to you."

His face was now in your neck. "I'm sorry, Baby. Besides my truck issues, I lost my damn charger at the airport. Couldn't find a replacement. Then the fuckin' phone died as soon as I hit the interstate." The irritation in his voice was apparent.

"My goodness, Love. Sounds like you've had a hell of a day. Let me give you what you need." You lifted one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist, moving your body closer to his trying to maneuver him inside of you. He pushed your leg down, laughing. "Needy little thing aren't you! But not yet, Baby. There's something else I'd like to do to you first."

You looked up at him, pouting and whimpering. He smirked, waving his index finger in front of your face and shaking his head. "No, none of that. We need to establish some rules. You must be a good girl, or you'll get nothing."

You raised an eyebrow. A faint, imperceptible smile overtook your lips. "Ooooh, rules, Frankie? To make sure I'm a good girl for you? I thought you liked my neediness."

His smirk grew wider. "Of course I do, Baby. But patience is a must. Good, obedient girls get rewarded. Bad girls get punished."

You shot him a deer-in-the-headlights look. "Punished? How? Frankie, what the hell are you talking about?"

He winked at you. "No time for explanations now. You'll find out later."

Before you could ask any more questions he dropped to his knees, pressing his hands on the inside of your thighs, pushing them further apart. His face was now inches from your pussy. You gasped when you realized what he had in mind.

"No! Not that!" You tried to push his head away. He looked up at you, brow furrowed. "No? Why not? If memory serves me correctly, didn't you say last time I was here you wanted us to do everything?" His expression relaxed, eyes full of concern. "Or...wait- is this not something you like?"

You turned away from his gaze, blushing. "I...actually- no one has ever performed it on me."

You felt ashamed for admitting to someone who sets your soul alight as much as Frankie does that you'd never had a man taste you.

He grinned, the darkness of his eyes deepening. "Is that so? Hmmm...." He rubbed his chin, one hand still on the inside of your thigh. "You know what I think? I think that's because you've never had a real man, Baby. All the guys you've dated are pussies. Pussies who don't eat pussy."

You giggled. He's such a smartass. But he wasn't wrong. None of your past relationships ever cared about pleasing you. It was always about what they wanted: pounding into you uncomfortably, flopping on top of you like a fish, climaxing within minutes and leaving you unsatisfied, unfulfilled. Frankie Morales was the complete opposite. He made you feel like your needs, your satisfaction, was more important than his own; as if his main goal was to take care of you. He was patient. He made you feel wanted.

"I've been thinkin' about this sweet pussy all day. Gotta taste it. Please, Baby, can I?" Rivers of shower water snaked their way down his face flattening his thick locks. His eyes still connected with yours.

Those damn puppy dog eyes.

He was quite aware of your inability to resist them; they made you absolutely weak. You nodded anxiously, realizing how foolish it was to deny him anything. Especially anything sexual. "Yes", you breathed. "Yes, My Love, please!"

Frankie spread your folds with two fingers, licking his lips. God, you were glistening. "Fuckin' look at that, would you. So prompt and prepared. So wet for me. Exactly how I like my girl to be." He circled his tongue around your clit -just once- before licking the inside of your folds, furiously lapping up your trickling arousal. Two fingers from his other hand pushed inside of you, curling, bending. You threw your hands into his hair letting out a long, plaintive whine.

"Fuckin' delicious," he breathed, not looking up. He took his fingers out, put them in his mouth, and inserted them back inside you. He moved them in and out while endlessly flicking his tongue across your clit, making you whine louder. He took his fingers out once more, but instead of putting them in his mouth, he put them in yours.

"Taste it," he demanded, moving them around the circumference of your mouth, now looking up at you. "Taste how sweet you are."

You followed orders, both hands gripping his forearm and wrist, wrapping your lips around his fingers. You swirled your tongue around the digits, bobbing your head up and down as if you were fellating him, all the while the two of you keeping eye contact.

"Fuck that's sexy." He took his fingers out of your mouth, put them in his own, savoring the taste briefly, and put them back in yours, instructing you to keep sucking. He turned his attention back to your pussy. You moaned and closed your eyes, feeling his tongue inside you moving up and down quickly. You sucked on his fingers harder; your hands gripping his wrist and forearm so tightly your knuckles were turning white. The feel of his tongue deep inside your hole, while he rubbed your clit with his other hand, made you nearly lose consciousness from the pleasure. So many things were happening to you at once; all your senses and emotions at play. You couldn't tell if the sounds you were hearing were yours or his. No coherent thought could be produced.

"Come on, Baby, show me," he said, swiping his tongue through your folds. "Show me - swipe - what - swipe - this pussy - swipe - can do."

The movements of his fingers against your clit quickened; his glorious tongue exploring every nook and cranny, no inch left untasted. The fingers previously your mouth now driving into your pussy at such speed your legs shook. He took his index finger and thumb and pinched your overstimulated clit, wrapping and sucking his lips around the sensitive bud.

"Frankie! What are you doing to me! Oh my God!"

Your body jolted as you felt a massive outpouring of your juices, reaching the pinnacle of desire. A loud wail trailed out of your throat; the pleasure hitting you like a freight train. You held your hands up near your face, shaking, trembling, looking down at the frenzy between your legs.

"Good girl! Best pussy I've ever tasted." He stood up, wiping your mess off his face - it was everywhere - with the back of his hand and licking it off. "That was fuckin' incredible. Gonna fuck you now. You earned it. Ready?"

You nodded, breathless, fighting for air after what you'd just experienced. "Pl-please. I'm always ready for you, My Love."

Your scenery changed in a flash. Frankie flipped you around to where you were now facing the shower wall; your stomach and chest pressed against the cold, wet tile. He stood behind you, his hands on your hips, his cock nudging your entrance.

"Put your palms against the wall, Baby. Stick your ass out. Spread those legs for me."

You followed instructions. He kept one hand on your hip, the other gripping your shoulder as he thrust into your drenched pussy with a low, rough grunt. He began pounding into you without giving you a chance to adjust to his length, knocking even more air out of your lungs.

"Fuck yes, Baby. This is how I always wanted to fuck you. All those nights I stayed over and fucked my fist to the thought of you. This is what I imagined us doing."

All you could do was close your eyes and moan at what you were hearing. You knew he jerked off many times when he spent the night at your apartment. He is a man, after all. But never in a million years did you think it was you getting him off.

"Frankie...oh fuck..." His thrusts were endless. You reached behind you to touch him, eager to feel hot, wet skin and muscle beneath your fingers. He grabbed your hand and pressed it back in its place against the wall.

"No, no, Baby. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Your eyes shot open as one of his great hands came in contact with your ass with a loud, wet slap, causing your body to lurch forward.

That's gonna leave a mark.

"Oh, shit!" You glanced back at him over your shoulder, keeping your hands in place.

"Umm....Frankie? What...was...that?"

"You know what it was." He slapped your ass again, this time on the other cheek. You squeezed your eyes shut and bit your lip as the pain bloomed across your body. You didn't want to admit it but the stinging sensation felt spectacular; so much better than the playful slaps he gave you when you were just friends.

"Fuck yes! More, Frankie, more! Please!"

"Ah, so you do like having your beautiful ass spanked. Filthy girl." He obliged, slapping your ass harder than before; his thrusts never ceasing. He still gripped your shoulder, fingers digging into your flesh. "Come on. Move, Baby, move," he demanded. "Don't make me do all the work."

You weren't exactly clear on what he meant at first, or what was bringing on this behavior. But you'd be damned if you denied you liked it. Your countless fantasies about him almost always involved him dominating you, spanking you, tying you up, making you beg for him, calling you dirty names, doing nasty, obscene, disgusting things to you, putting you in positions that would make even a contortionist shudder. In reality, your sweet Frankie would never be into such things. He would be downright embarrassed at what you wanted him to do to you.

Apparently, you were wrong.

You looked back at him, confused.

"I...I...don't...uh...what?"

Both hands moved to your sides and pulled you closer to him, making back and forth motions.

"Like this, Baby. Come on, don't be shy." His saccharine voice set your mind at ease. "Let me and help me take good care of you."

Realizing what he was asking you to do you rocked your body back into him, taking him fully all the way to the base; coarse, wet hairs tickling your ass. Frankie trailed his fingers up and down your spine; those large hands so soft it felt like he wasn't even touching you at all.

"Yeah, Baby. Just like that. Show me how I'm making you feel."

Your impassioned mewls and sighs increased as you moved back and forth faster, your ass crashing into his hips making him groan and pant. Even through the bellow of the falling water you could hear the inappropriate sounds of your wet bodies smacking against one another. You threw your head back, not caring that the tepid stream was hitting you directly in the face.

"Frankie...I've never done it this way...you feel...so...fucking...good."

His cock gliding against your walls, along with the fact he was doing things to you that you'd only dreamed about, had you gasping for the breath he had taken away from you.

"So do you, Baby. So goddamn tight. Jesus fuckin' Christ."

He coiled his hands through your hair giving it a gentle tug, looking down at the junction of your bodies. "God I missed this pussy. I never want to go this long without it again."

"Me too, My Love." You uttered a pleased hum. "God I love the way your cock feels inside of me. My pussy felt so empty without it."

He chuckled. "Tell me something, Baby. Do you always want to be fucked like this?"

Nodding was the only response you could give; words stolen by sobs and wails as he moved his hips against your ass faster.

"Did you mean it when you said you'd do anything for me?"

Nod.

"Were you being truthful in saying you'd always dreamed of belonging to me?"

Nod.

He slapped your ass once more, a hand still in your hair, making you shriek as he tugged harder.

"Words, Baby!" Slap. "Vocalize!" Slap. "I need to hear you say it!" Slap.

You were definitely going to have handprints on your ass later.

"Yes!" You wheezed. "My Love, Yes! I want to belong to you! Fucking own me!"

The way you moaned those last two words made him laugh. "You want me to own you, you say?"

"Yes!" you answered without hesitation. "In every sense of the word!"

His lips curled into a pleased smile. "Good girl. That's the answer I was expecting." He let go of your hair and spun you around to where you were now facing him.

"Hold on to me, Baby. It's okay, I got you." He placed his hands under your thighs and picked you up effortlessly, pinning you against the shower wall with his body. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your ankles crossed, one arm flung around his neck, the other clutching his shoulder. Within seconds he was back inside you fucking you like his life depended on it, his vigorous thrusting forcing your body up and down, lifting, falling. His face deposited in your neck, licking, kissing, sucking every inch of skin between your neck and shoulder. You tilted your head back, eyes closed, mouth open, desperate cries filling your tiny bathroom. You're so full of him, his cock so deep inside you touching every nerve, every tendril, every fiber, every corner. The head of him pressing the switch within you that made you lose all modesty, all control.

"Oh, God, yes! Harder, My Love! Harder!" You were basically shouting the words. "Fuck me like you own me!"

He growled and hissed in your ear as the brutality of his thrusts intensified. His fingers and hands squeezing your skin so tightly you were certain you'd be left with marks, bruises, fingerprints. The pain, the pleasure; it was all equally too much and not enough. It was fucking magnificent; leaving your mind in shambles.

"Yes, Baby, yes!" he panted. I fuckin' love hearing you talk this way. So fuckin' dirty."

He was now looking at you, eyes hazy with pleasure, mouth open. "Gonna cum soon, Baby. Where do you want it? Inside?"

"Yes!" You cried, locking your eyes with his. "You don't need permission! Just fuckin' do it! Cum inside me, please!"

A smile spread across his lips, a satisfied twinkle gleaming in his eye. "You are so fuckin' perfect, Baby, I swear. Fuckin' made for me." He put an index finger in his mouth and, without warning, pushed it repeatedly inside your asshole -while still fucking you into oblivion.

"Frankie!" You practically screamed his name. "That's...oh fuck...what the fuck! That's too much! I can't-"

"-You can take it, Baby. I know you can. Show me. Don't hold back."

No way was he going to make you cum twice. That was impossible; only something you'd seen in movies and TV. Something that always suspends your disbelief, making you scoff and roll your eyes. But this? Imminent. You were going to have multiple orgasms in one night for the first time ever in your life. Then he stuck another finger inside your ass. And that was it; the shot of adrenaline straight to the heart, the needle bursting the tiny pleasure-filled bubble in your stomach, the surge of electricity pulsing through your veins. You wrapped your arms tighter around his neck , fingertips kneading, clawing into the flesh of his back holding on for dear life.

Frankie gave one last forceful buck of his hips as he spilled into you, an orchestra of explicit noises and words coming from the both of you. You could feel the concoction of warm liquids between your thighs shooting up into you like fireworks. Your vision was now a swirling sea of unrecognizable colors. Your head collapsed on his shoulder, his chin on yours, chests heaving against each other's, breaths coming and going in quick intervals.

"I love you so much, Frankie" you finally managed to say after what seemed like an eternity of silence. "You make me feel things I had no idea I could feel."

You felt him smile against your neck. "I love you too, Baby. I always knew I'd be the one to broaden your horizons."

You embraced him tighter running your hands up and down his back. "I never wanted anyone like this. It's all brand new to me."

"Likewise, Baby." Frankie removed his hands from the back of your thighs and set you on your feet. You felt like a newborn fawn, legs wobbly, unable to keep your balance. You both laughed as you held on to his forearms for support until you could stand on your own. He shut the water off and opened the sliding glass door, stepping out onto the white feathery bath mat.

"Meet me in the living room after you're dressed," he said as he grabbed a towel off the bathroom door hook and gathered his clothes off the floor. "I have a surprise for you."

**************************

After changing into leggings and a spaghetti-strap shirt, you found Frankie sitting on the sofa, his phone in one hand, thumb swiping up and down in quick strokes, dark bottle of beer in the other taking long swigs, eyes never leaving the device screen. His jeans were zipped but unbuttoned, unfastened belt hanging loosely between his legs. His red T-shirt clung to his still-damp skin, portraying each sculpted muscular detail, his moist capless hair an unkempt mess, strands pointing in every direction. You stood at the end of the hallway watching him, leaning your shoulder against the wall, staring, struggling to process what had just taken place in your shower. You had difficulty wrapping your head around the fact that it actually happened; not in one of your fantasy scenarios. Frankie Morales, who you've wanted since the first day you laid eyes on him, was now your lover, your partner; your companion. The one who showed you pleasures you didn't know you wanted or needed. The one who unlocked your passion and freed your mind to explore the depths of your darkest sexual desires.

Your lover. That sounded so forbidden, so taboo.

Frankie looked up from his phone and gave you a smile, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. "There's my girl. You disappeared from me. I didn't think you'd come back." He took another sip of beer and set the bottle on the coffee table. "Come on over here so I can give you your surprise."

You took the empty seat next to him. He reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a small, flat purple gift box wrapped in pink ribbon and placed it in your hands.

"This is for you, Baby. Open it."

"You bought me a gift?"

He nodded, his eyes wide and full of anticipation, an anxious smile across his lips. "Of course. You're my girl. I need to spoil you."

Inside was a thin, black leather choker necklace adorned with numerous diamond-shaped crystals. A sterling silver heart pendant hung from a small chain on the facade, and it fastened like a belt in the back. You didn't wear much jewelry, earrings occasionally. He knew this, which made it a little unclear as to why this would be a gift choice. But you found it to be beautiful. Elegant. Racy.

After a few moments it hit you; the purpose of the gift. You were his. He owns you. You belong to him. He wants it to be shown.

"Frankie, it's lovely. But...I don't wear neck-."

"-You do now," he interrupted. "I want you to wear it as a symbol of my ownership of you. You want to be mine in every possible way? Wearing this necklace will seal that deal."

You stared at the piece of jewelry in your hands, trying to believe what you had just heard; your mind devoid of words.

He scooted closer to you, putting a hand under your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. "If you think it's excessive, Baby, you don't-"

"-Yes", you answered. "I'll wear it and I'll never take it off. Whatever it takes to make you happy, My Love, I'll do it." You took the accessory out of its box, ready to put it on. Frankie eagerly took it from your hands, his eyes lighting up. "Please, let me do it."

He leaned forward reaching across you to fasten the choker, his cheek brushing against yours, lips next to your ear. "You know what this means, don't you?" He whispered once the necklace was fully around your neck. A hand trailed down your body, between your legs, inside your panties. "This pussy-this body-is mine now." His fingers started rubbing at your clit, making you cry out. "I can do whatever I want with it. Clear?"

You nodded, eyes fluttering closed. "Fraaannnkkkiiiiieeee..."

"Remember those rules I mentioned earlier?" His lips were still against your ear. "About being a good girl and getting punished for being bad? You must follow them now that you're wearing this necklace. You must obey."

He slipped a finger inside you, moving the digit so rapidly you could hear the vulgar squelching noises, making you squirm. You grabbed his arm. "Frankie!" you moaned. "Yes! I'll do whatever you say, My Love! I'm all yours!"

He grinned, his eyes rich with contentment. His lips crashed into yours, tongue delving into your mouth. Your arms found their way around his neck, your legs moving onto the sofa so you could lie on your back outstretched. Frankie lowered himself onto you, positioning himself between your legs, still dressed, lips never leaving yours, still fingering you like it would be a crime if he stopped, making you hum and whimper. The other hand caressed your still-clothed thigh and leg.

"Gonna cum for me again, are you, Baby?" he asked against your lips. "Are you gonna squirt all over my-"

There was a knock at the door, making Frankie stop the delicious makeout session and look up in confusion. He looked down at you, also perplexed.

"Expecting company?"

You shook your head.

Another knock, this time much louder.

"Want me to see who it is?"

"No, I'll get it." You stood up and made your way to the door located right next to the sofa. You opened it, and the color drained out of your face. Your heart sank.

There she was. Fucking. Erica. Hands pressed on her hips, looking as perfectly put together as always. Black hair, flawless makeup, tight dress, menacing green eyes. The only difference from when you last saw her was now she looked like there had been way too much time spent in a tanning bed and too many collagen injections in her lips. She impatiently tapped her high-heeled foot on the outside concrete floor, her mouth sewn into an angry frown.

"Where is he?" Her voice was eerily stern, lacking emotion. "I know Francisco is here somewhere. Where the fuck is he?!"

You put your finger up. "First of all, Erica, hello to you too. Second, don't come at me with that attitude. Third, what makes you think he would be here?"

Erica rolled her eyes, huffing out an annoyed sigh. "Because his fucking truck is parked out front, dumbass."

"Don't you fuckin' dare speak to her like that." Frankie growled as he walked up next to you, casually throwing his arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. "You lookin' for me, Erica? Well, here I am. The hell do you want?"

Erica's eyes switched between you and Frankie, looking you both up and down, noticing your still wet locks, flushed cheeks, his shirt worn inside out and unbuttoned jeans. She shook her head, her eyes on the ground, sarcastic laughter seeping through her lips.

"Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. You two fucked, didn't you?"

Frankie cleared his throat. "You shouldn't ask questions to which you know the answers."

She cut her eyes to you. "I suppose you think he's your boyfriend now? That he loves you?"

"Erica, I'm not gonna ask you again." Frankie piped in before you could give her an answer. "Why. The. Fuck. Are. You. Here?"

His acerbic tone made you take a step an inch away but he still kept his arm on your shoulder. You looked at him while he kept his eyes on Erica. His brow furrowed, lips pursed, jaw tightened, veins in his neck made their appearance, heavy breathing commenced through his nose. His other hand formed into a fist.

Erica pointed a manicured accusatory finger at him. "You. You son-of-a-bitch. You and I need to talk."

(To Be Continued....)

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applejuiceyjuice-art · 8 months ago

Text

PARASOCIALITE MANIFESTO

⚠️massive infodump ahead⚠️

i wrote all that forever ago when i was trying to figure out the dynamic (and after rewatching a stream of the beginner’s guide, feeling incredibly inspired to create a drawing of twitch as a parasocial figure and thought i needed someone on the “other end” so to speak). after writing vol 3, it just sorta fell into place. i was trying not to post too many drawings before it came out 🤭

my original idea was basically the clashing of “someone who doesn’t care about anything” and “someone who cares too much about everything,” which is still true but i really love the added parasocial aspect of it 😁😁😁 and i like opposites attract type of shit i guess

kik wouldn’t even think of twitch as anything more than a basic influencer type until after watching for a good while. at the start, he was only curious, and still held disdain for twitch’s streaming personality. but he likes it when twitch gets mad, so somehow he found himself continuing to watch old streams and new ones.

there’s also a sense of relatability all streamers have, and so for someone like kik, who doesn’t find most people relatable (or tries), it felt even more intense. the fact that twitch is genderfluid, has overlap in their sense of humor, and those random moments where you and the streamer are just… thinking the same thing in the moment, feels like a red strings of fate to kik. donating to get twitch to read her message gives her a major shot of dopamine lol.

things that kik originally disliked in twitch are now reasons why she’s soooooo amazing: workaholic -> talented, trying too hard -> cute. she agonizes over being so attached to someone she once pinned as a normie and over the possibility that she’s being creepy.

deep down kik is a social person, and used to talk to people all the time, only thru the window while rarely meeting anyone “irl.” since amino is the only other person kik cares abt now and they go periods of time isolating itself, welllllll ig kik gets a bit lonely.

from twitch’s perspective, she has been working hard and trying to fit in with the bigger sites as her platform basically became a major trend in recent years. she adores the sleekness and style of celebrity type sites (which is why she thinks yt and insta are attractive) and wants the attention too. just in her own, gamer way.

twitch gets easily swept up in the streamer/audience feedback loop, and hasn’t quite figured out how to create clear boundaries. she could tell right away that kik was a fan by the time they met again. it makes her uncomfortable and annoyed when people idolize her, but at the same time she kinda likes being showered with praise and attention and stuff like that. though she really hates it when kik makes assumptions about her based on their limited perspective, and whenever they say anything self deprecating, so she also uses this as an opportunity to be mean to someone/boss someone around without repercussion.

i specified that this happened during their burnout era because it would be when they make the most irrational decisions and more prone to being mean. before then, they probably didn’t even remember kik’s existence or rejected him. it would take a while for twitch to actually see anything in kik, partially cuz he never talks about himself or his interests, and also cuz he’s just not their type (or so it seems??)

i think that twitch might like kik if she approached her normally, like being bold but not overly obsessive. but then it wouldn’t be very parasocial-ite would it? that would only happen at the very beginning since kik wouldn’t care as much, or the very end after they get past the parasocial aspect of it n are just talking normally.

after the dust is settled, their true dynamic is kik still being mushy/touchy-feely and twitch being awkward about it bc normally she’s kinda adverse to that stuff and would rather it be a joke. especially around other people. kik would bother the fuck out of him in public and likes embarrassing him. this also compounds with kik being the antithesis to the image twitch likes/wants to achieve.

of course at the end of the day they’re just dolls im playing with and i dont necessarily have to stick to any strict timeline or anything lol

dont get me started with the eddsworld polycule thing. theyd all kill each other

#im normal #(sweats nervously).#IS THIS A GOOD NAME Y/N #aj art #socialstuck #socialstuck cloutchase #parasocialite #twitch socialstuck #kik socialstuck #i probably didnt have to share this bc i think my doodles speak for themselves but idgaf im in an asylum called my brain #and my blog is the walls im writing on

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twsthottakes · 6 months ago

Note

Regarding the last ask about Yuu ships sucking...

I feel like people should just be honest if they want to say they like canon x canon ships more or want to see more people making male yuu stuff

Because the medium of the game itself actively encourages people self-inserting through Yuu. These types pf gacha games literally thrive off fanservice (fanservice isnt a necessarily sexual thing btw it can be stuff like characters having a cameo or striking an avengers assemble type pose). It's why its so easy to give them a stand-in in the mangas and novels. They have some mentioned consistent traits like being good at playing wind instruments + being supposedly blunt but that's barely a fully fledged character more like a concept. For the sake of ease of self-inserting that's also why Yuu is sadly barely relevant in the story these days + have super lazy dialogue options now. Their traits barely factor into the story in meaningful ways anymore

A lot of Yuu ships really are just not game yuu but whoever drew/wrote it shipping the character with themselves. So yeah not a surprise that their Yuu ships are flat (sometimes they also specify its just xreader or self-insert in general not Yuu but people will assume it's Yuu at first glance anyway)

So I don't see the point in complaining that "people are ignoring Yuu's personality" when that's more the game's fault than random fans' fault

As for wanting to see more male yuus around... as mentioned Yuu really is intended to be sort of a vessel of projection for fans. And as game in the joisemuke genre its expected most fans will be female, hence the characters they create to represent themselves will also be predominantly female. In the nicest way possible its really just a matter of seeing the player character stuff you want to see yourself, more male yuu or interesting yuu stuff will only exist once other fans finally make them. Yuu content doesn't just randomly generate into existence one day out of thin air

There is also the matter of homophobia in the yume community which sucks and is another factor why most player ships are het. So male yuu representation in the romantic context would matter

^but outside of this shipping purposes I literally never see anyone see Yuu as a girl by default. They're either faceless or a guy in JP fanart (this is when people are trying to draw the most objective game yuu, of course it's different for personal yuu stand-in OCs) This reflects the androcentric view many people have of man as the active protagonist by default while women can only do sappy emotional stuff like romance (also just heteronormative bias)

I've also never really seen a girlboss yuu the way you described it yet I see passive damsel Yuu for the sake of making the romantic fanservice on the dude shine more often

TLDR: Yuu really is meant to be a self-insert and the game is very intentional with the romantic fanservice it drops, and since most fans are women it makes sense that most self-inserts through Yuu are also female characters. These female characters are seemingly dull and personalityless because most fans are not trying to be clever writers, just using that OC as a vehicle to show the canon character of interest in romantic situations. If people want more diversity in existing Yuus they should put their ideas of male and etc. Yuus out there then to also inspire other people making OCs instead of assuming the fandom will generate it on its own like a factory

This got way too long but I basically just wanted to reply on why I think the argument of the previous asker was kind of focusing on the wrong things + ignoring the reasons why things happen through assuming it's just individual people being shallow and stupid for no reason. This is not to say personal yuu fanart or fic can never be criticized or disliked anymore, I think there is a problem of a lot of them being very weird with underage characters. But yeah as mentioned it's kinda just inevitable given the game genre + the creator (who was basically known idol to shotacons) being a huge part of marketing. Ok this is all for real now

Don't have a lot to say here I guess mostly just... My main concern with the male Yuu thing is the predominant nature of Fem!Yuu often leading to harassment towards Male!Yuu makers.

Also the creepy behavior is often something that occurs in the genre, I know, but I do believe it should be called out. Just because something is normalized doesn't mean it's okay, nor does it mean we shouldn't try to change it.

#twst #fandom meta #long post #twisted wonderland

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whetstonefires · 10 months ago

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10 and 29 for the ask game?

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I try not to have expectations, so I'm sure it's happened a lot and I didn't remark upon it enough to remember.

I do recall that All the Roofs of Uncertainty was originally a one-shot that was much better-liked than I expected, so I wrote into the what-happens-next and changed the original open ending into a whole plotline, that consisted almost entirely of Jason Todd talking to people in a hospital.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Oh gosh I have so many fics that lie unfinished because the work necessary to complete them exceeded my interest in the premise. I could do this for weeks and not run out. Let's see.

Okay, the funniest fic that I will never ever finish is the one that was me trying to draw up a plausible background scenario for an AU (which I couldn't decide if it ought to be modern or not) where Su She was dating Wei Wuxian.

(This in turn was inspired by the fact that I kept reading modern AUs where various canon villains were cast as wwx's shitty boyfriend or ex and it was never Su She, aka the bargain bin version of Lan Wangji, who seemed to me to be the least improbable option on offer. Like if you feel the need to lampshade repeatedly within your fic that it's incomprehensible that Wei Wuxian would ever voluntarily date Jin Zixun, maybe that's a sign you should change that bit.)

The plot of the story that Su-She-uses-his-words-and-pulls-wwx embedded itself in would have revolved around Lan Wangji subsequently agreeing to a date with ten-years-younger Mo Xuanyu, presumably in an attempt to move on, and Su She picking up on his hopeless pining when both couples happened to be in the same room, as dates to the same function or something, and then following a characteristically self-destructive course where he got so wrapped up in rubbing it in Lan Wangji's face that he finally had something the Lan scion wanted and couldn't get that he wound up entirely destroying his own relationship.

Wei Wuxian is a very good judge of people who also attracts strong personal loyalty once people get attached to him in the first place, and notably something that simply never happens to him is someone betraying him who he trusted not to do that. (Jiang Cheng does not count; Wei Wuxian maneuvered him into most of it, he wasn't taken by surprise.) So it could be really neat to finesse the character work of him understanding Su She's basic character flaws, but not expecting them to manifest or affect him quite the way they end up doing.

In the same way he mostly gets Lan Wangji as a person from the start but, lacking insight into certain things he's hiding, is unable to reliably reconstruct his perspective. To an increasingly noticeable degree, as lwj acts on that aspect of his motivations more openly.

I am never going to write that though, because I just don't care enough about that kind of story, although concept free to a good home.

I did write out a little of the backstory to how Su She could have wound up in a position of wanting to date Wei Wuxian on his own merits, which was a fun bit of character study because Su She is basically Jin Guangyao's Wen Ning, you know? Evil Wen Ning.

His understanding of Jin Guangyao as someone who respects and values him earned an insane amount of personal loyalty from a basically very selfish guy--like sure, it's clear he got a steady stream of favors out of the bargain, but he also puts himself on the line way in excess of the practical value Jin Guangyao has provided and is likely to provide; the real inducement was the validation.

So, if Wei Wuxian had happened to be carelessly kind and supportive to Su She the way he was to Wen Ning, having met him in a weak moment before Su She had had a chance to make an impression as a petty asshole rather than just a bit of a dumbass (not that he actually in canon managed to make any personal impression even by shooting him in the arm) you could probably arrange for him to glom onto Wei Wuxian instead, as someone like him, who didn't get the respect he deserved because of his birth station.

And Wei Wuxian would be perfectly willing to reciprocate that friendship, even though (as with Wen Ning) if Su She didn't reach out promptly he'd have totally forgotten he existed until prompted lmao. Su She would never forgive that insult.

You can see in the passage here where I still kind of wanted it to be a modern AU so they're texting, but the setup I'd written previously worked as a clean canon divergence because that's my usual preference, and I really wasn't interested enough in a plot that's entirely about romantic relationships to figure that out and write the rest.

But I did enjoy doing this study of how Su She could have gotten stuck on Wei Wuxian, only to later go on to fuck himself over with his Lan Wangji complex.

It was nice to have someone to complain to who got it. When Su Minshan talked about having no family to turn to, about owing everything to the Sect that had raised him when, to the Lan, everything came down to the clan and he would never have a chance to truly distinguish himself— Sometimes I think about just leaving, Su Minshan wrote, because Wei Wuxian wouldn’t scold him for being ungrateful. You can, if you want, Wei Wuxian wrote, as if it was that easy. Only if you came too, Su Minshan had written back, shaken by his own daring. Of course, Wei Wuxian refused. Jiang Cheng would never forgive me if I ran off. Because he’s counting on you to run his Sect for him. He absolutely is not. Jiang Cheng will work himself into the ground before he lets me do his job for him. He didn’t admit that of course the Sect Heir was counting on him, but he didn’t disagree, which was basically the same thing. Wei Wuxian worked very hard and was rewarded for it, but Su Minshan knew that even in Jiang the equal opportunity only went so far—he was the Sect Leader’s pet for personal reasons, not just on merit, and even so he could never rise to be the equal of the blood heir. It was infuriating sometimes how that didn’t bother him. Have more ambition! You’re so lucky, Su Minshan wrote, because he was jealous, he was so so jealous. I am! <3 But let’s see, outside the main family how important can a person get in Lan Sect? You can make a plan. Weeks of effort did not produce any particularly good plans. The most realistic one took forty years to show results. Maybe I should just kill Lan Wangji and use a spell to disguise myself and take his place, Su Minshan joked. Haha! Minshan-xiong, I’m sorry, you couldn’t pull off being Lan Zhan. That hurt, an unexpected cold dagger to the ribs. Wei Wuxian was his friend! Why not! he typed angrily. Was his playing too weak, his swordsmanship, his deportment? Would even Wei Wuxian tell him he was just not good enough? Because you could never resist saying something bitchy when you had the chance, and he keeps all the bitching inside his head. Su Minshan put his head down and laughed until he thought he might cry.

I have the sneaking suspicion I already shared this one for one of these games, because it really is by far the funniest thing I'm definitely never going to finish, so I'll reblog this post later with another offering.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #ask game #fanfiction

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emiliosandozsequence · 3 months ago

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tell me about the novels bestie!

other than nebulous which you can read more about here (i'm putting this all under a cut bc it's going to be LONG

there is SPARROW is a southern gothic story about a fictional town and the wealthy family that is its namesake. the story itself involves family horror with stigmata and the plagues of egypt thrown in. the main character, basically, is a 33 year old priest having to learn to deal with his twin sister, who is already dying from heart disease and that he is in love with, having stigmata while the ten plagues of egypt strike their town and she becomes the second coming of christ. on top of all that, he has to deal with his incredibly abusive father and the disappearance of his mother 20 years earlier

anyway the fc list for these guys are as follows

father cesare michael sparrow: francois arnaud (main character, priest, in love with his sister and a sex addict bc of the abuse his father has put him and his sister through)

loa grace sparrow: olivia hussey [specifically in romeo and juliet] (twin sister of the main character; chronically ill, gets stigmata, and becomes the second coming of christ...in literally all that entails. this book is a tragedy)

cole isaac sparrow: bill skarsgard [specifically in hemlock grove] (the younger brother of cesare and loa by three years; he is a coke addict and goes out partying with his rich friends constantly)

father douglas sparrow: jeffrey dean morgan (the father of the sparrow children and the patriarch of the town)

minnie sparrow: holly hunter (the missing wife of father sparrow and mother to the sparrow children; cesare loved her very much and misses her deeply)

landry marceau: louis garrell (cesare's best friend; he's gay and jewish and works at the male strip club in town (the blue tulip) to help put himself through college to become a physicist)

this book was inspired by the borgias mostly negl as well as this idea i've actually had for a fanfic for a looong time. tbh i always wanted to use this as an original idea for a story instead, i just never knew how i wanted to it until recently

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there is also the HYMNS OF SIASMA which is a fantasy series that i plan to be 8 boks that i actually wrote once the first book of once before when i was 13-14. it was bad tho so i've completely overhauled the story and am redoing it. the main plot that i've got so far tho is an elf girl's mother, along with everyone else, is killed when the queen's army raids her village without explanation. the main character is then taken to the citadel in the capital and trained to be a swordsinger (a gymnastic swordsman basically) against her will. she's also put under a blood pact by the queen, so she cannot leave. she does the queen's dirty work against her will along with the other swordsingers, but, ofc, she eventually discovers she's much more involved in the violence of her world than she originally thought.

i don't have fcs for this book series yet, but these are the main characters in the first book (other characters come in later and there's a TON of other characters i want to develop that will probably also become main characters in this list later on)

ayia ellaster: the main character; kidnapped lowborn elf girl with dark hair and eyes and pale skin; now is a swordsinger; she is determined to avenge her mother and kill the man with orange eyes that slayed her

bretika 'bree' avis griellif: highborn elf lady with dark brown skin, dark eyes and hair, who's family was threatened into having her become a swordsinger to keep her family under control; she has the ability to summon water; her and the role her family plays (especially her younger sister who is a seer) become crucial in later books

diarmuid alexander desterra: a highborn elf leader in the rebellion with dark hair and pale skin and green eyes against the queen before his capture and subsequent forced blood pact; known as 'the flameborn prince' for the powers he possesses

ambet alayah lingeon: the half-elf niece of the queen with black hair, very pale skin, and silver eyes; she's evil and insane because of the trauma she's been through, but you don't know that until book 2-3

cris stelforen: lowborn human swordsinger with chestnut hair and pale skin that has been ambet's best friend since they were small children. he's under the blood pact to control ambet

verkerus espars: lowborn elf that is the commander of all the swordsingers. his family is pledged to the queen's; he has a very strange creepy relationship with ayia (he's a Lot older than her)

darik klaus lingeon: the twin brother of the queen with grey skin, white hair, and silver eyes (he's an arcanist and arcanists appearances are altered by the nature of the use of their powers). he's the father of ambet and is very weird with his twin sister >:)

sur merida lingeon: the usurper queen of siasma with grey skin, white hair and silver eyes (also an arcanist). she killed her father as revenge for him killing her mother after he usurped the throne from the last king. she carries on his legacy out of guilt

desten cordova: i have not developed him much yet, but so far i've got that he is a swordsinger with black hair, golden skin and dark eyes. he's a commander alongside cris and is his friend too

there's going to be a lot more to this, but the inspiration for this series comes from throne of glass (it is always morally correct to steal from sjm), lord of the rings, eragon, the seer and the sword, the healer's keep, the great tree of avalon, the song of the lionness quartet, and basically every book that i read as a kid when i was obsessed with fantasy mwah 💕

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and last but not least there is the ANAMNESIS TRILOGY which is a dystopian series that was originally going to be YA, but i'm making it an adult series now. anyway, it's about a girl who lives in the year 2048 after a nuclear apocalypse. when she was a child, rebels broke into her home and held her family hostage before killing her little brother in front of her. her mother was taken by the government and then put to death because she was once one of the Skilled which were supersoldiers that helped america (no longer the united states) win the war (tho half of the country was destroyed by bombs and nuclear fallout in the process), but after a certain amount of time, the genetic modifications the solidiers went through to become so strong made them lose their minds and become unexplainably violent. after, amber (the main character) was taken to be trained as an assassin to take down threats to the government. unquestionably loyal after watching her brother's murder, she agrees. until, ofc, she finds out the government is lying to her.

i wrote this book once and lost it, but thankfully i still have access to my plans for it. anyway here's the fc list from what i remember

amber latier: ko ah-sung (main character and assassin; has very bad ptsd and is suicidal bc her entire family is dead before the story even begins; this doesn't change. again i write tragedies fdashj)

dante addair: luke pasqualino (the love interest ngl and also an assassin. he's amber's partner in the field)

lia lellvan: juno temple (gets involved in everything by accident basically)

james kyser: garrett hedlund (trainer of all the assassins and personal trainer of amber)

drusian: jason isaacs (personal trainer of dante and arson; cruel and abusive)

arrow: i never found an fc i was happy with for her, but she's supposed to be japanese. anyway she's good with a bow which is the origin of her name and also very quiet, but very talented. isaac is her partner

isaac mechant: aaand he's in love with her. i also never came up with an fc for him, but he's supposed to be white

jem: another assassin who is supposed to be latina, but, again, don't have an fc for her.

arson: alexander ludwig (another assassin, who is the antagonist. he's an asshole to amber and jem is his cronie basically)

marcus shira: the leader of america. basically the king tho. he's dying of a disease that's never specified

these books were heavily inspired by the hunger games and the legend trilogy mostly, but also a bit of divergent too.

feel free to ask questions about any of these too!!

#ask #euphcme #my writing

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tkwrites · 8 months ago

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I had come across some of your snapshots randomly but have now found your masterlist and omg 😍 you are so talented ❤️

I love how you incorporate high amounts of emotion and have some real serious pieces 🥹

How do you figure out what to write next? And how do you manage to upload such high quality content? Do you dot point how you want the storyline to go before you start and then go back to add in all the little details or do you just let your beautiful brain flow and it comes together?

I use to write a lot when I was younger but get way too stuck in my own head and struggle to fix it once I'm not sure. Idk if that makes sense? Do you ever get your friends to read over it and give feedback? I feel like a burden asking them to read over it, especially larger pieces. Do you ever feel you need others input first? Any tips on how to feel more confident in my own writing? 🩷

First of all, 😭

What a gift of a note this is! It came through and I nearly burst into tears. Thank you for your very kind words.

I've always been fascinated with how people feel and relate to each other - it's the main reason I started writing - so that highly emotional content comes from that, I think. I'm so glad others enjoy it, too.

I've answered your questions about writing below as I don't want to take over anyone's feed and this got REAL long real fast.

Because I write this series out of order, I just keep ideas open all the time. I currently have 21 Sanpshots in progress. Some of those will be sunk into each other, but as of right now, there are 21 ideas. I basically write what I feel inspired to, and what gets published next is usually what’s been pulling most of my attention.

The quality content thing is interesting because I don’t always think all the Snapshots are high quality. I felt really nervous about Before I meet your Parents, I’ll be proud for you, and Sarah meets the parents, and I was convinced all three would flop when I published them. Are they my strongest works? Certainly not. Are they well liked? It seems so. So it just goes to show that we’re all our own worst critic.

That said, I have been writing for a long time and understand my style (for the most part), so that makes it easier to trust my own writing. I did an exercise about 8 years ago where I kept a blog in which I wrote or edited 1,000 words of fiction 6 days a week for a year. This was a bit of an extreme exercise and won’t be for everyone, but I credit that, more than anything else, to the improvement in my writing. Practice makes perfect, even in the realm of the arts. And if you can practice every day, that’s even better.

Generally, I’m working on 3 or 4 Snapshots at a time, but they rotate pretty consistently. When I’m near finishing one, I will concentrate on that one for a week or two, however long it takes to get it written and up to standard.

Most Snapshots and other fics start with an idea. Some start with the beginnings of a scene. Shoot the Moon, for example, started because I wanted to write a more realistic sex scene that included 2 elements: 1. “I don't care if you swallow. I don't really even mind not coming in your mouth, that was just a heat of the moment thing. Thanks for letting me anyway.” And 2. “I want you so bad,” he whimpered, “but I’m so tired, I don't think I can keep it up.”

So I usually start with an idea and then build around it. Eventually, a loose plot comes into focus, and I’ll concentrate on that for a while. Every once in a while, when I feel really stuck with a piece, I won’t necessarily write down a plot, but I will write down actions that need to happen in order to move the story forward. Some details come as I’m writing, and some are added later. Word smithing takes more time, so that usually, but not always, comes after the plot is established, and I can concentrate on the writing itself.

It’s so easy to get stuck in your own head. Writing every day can help with that. Also, I’ve had to fight to get to a point where I realized I’m writing mostly for myself and a little bit for everyone else. If you love it, there’s a big chance someone else will, too. That said, I still get stuck in my own head sometimes, and it’s something you just have to learn to push through. Usually, if you keep writing, it will sort itself out. Other times, if you give it space and come back to it, the way to fix it will sometimes jump out.

I do ask friends for help and feedback! In fact, I had someone read over the girlfriend scene in Good For You because the first iteration of it was very, very flat. I knew it was, but didn’t know how to fix it. She read it over and gave me a few suggestions that really helped.

I’ve found that I think I’m far more of a burden than my friends ever feel like I am. Usually when I ask, friends are happy to read through my writing. After a while, you’ll discover who gives good feedback and who doesn’t. And unless your friends are telling you that they’re too busy, or they don’t want to read your work, they’re likely not feeling that it’s a burden. It’s their responsibility to tell you if they’re upset or burdened. If they’re not telling you that, it’s likely that they’re not feeling that way. That was one of the hardest but most valuable lessons I’ve learned in therapy.

Sometimes, I need feedback, and sometimes I don’t. I usually need it if I find I’m writing myself in circles, or something feels off, but I can’t pinpoint why exactly.

I always read my writing out loud to myself. It’s very easy to pinpoint stuff that’s off or not natural or out of rhythm when you hear it out loud.

The best advice I can give is to write and then write some more. The more you practice, the better you’ll become. They say you have to write 1,000,000 words before you’ll write your first real one, and I think that holds true. As you spend more time writing, you’ll find your style and find your rhythm, and learn to trust yourself a little more.

I hope this helps. I’m sorry it got to be so, so, so long!

#writing advice #tkanswers 📮

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re-coding · 11 months ago

Text

I make a stupid decision to decide to make a (fic) writing app, cheers

Well now, I know there's like tons of them out there in the market. A lot of them are good! And even free (or have pretty good free versions)! A reddit thread I found have a few very good ones, you guys can check it out! (I'll add my own two cents later :3)

But look, the only thing I want to do, is to have a place when I can throw my ideas into a list (like what I'm did in my notes app) then auto convert it to a document when I feel like I want to write it. None of them (or at least, what I saw/found) have it!

To do that, I set up a Google Form-Google Sheets system so I can just fill in the form when I get some thoughts™. Then when I feel like I want to add another WIP to my ever-growing list of WIPs, I'll just open the associated sheet, see what idea I would like to write, then create a Google Docs and copy/paste the idea there.

Easy, right? Problem solved?

No, not really. For me, there're a few problems with this.

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The Problem(s)™

The process of opening Google Forms takes forever to load (depending on my Internet) and I have a goldfish memory. What are the odds that I forget my ideas by then.

(Just use phone notes app then) But I'm in the mood to type my fic in a computer 😔😔 I don't wanna copy my prompt there to a doc via phone, or worse, retype it out. There's like 4 steps there at least! I'll lose my motivation by then!

Google Sheets has this problem where the text refuses to wrap properly if you add a long text (my ideas are sometimes a few hundred words of rambling y'know). So whenever I decided to grace the sheet with my presence, I'll need to reformat the wrap if I wanna read what I wrote. That's 1 whole extra step.

I'll need to open at least two tabs here, 1. my sheet file, 2. open a new docs file

Look, they're all pretty minor inconveniences imo, but I'm 1. a lazy mf and 2. a tired mf

So, I made a decision any sane person with a job and 0-energy would do - I thought "Hey, why don't I make my own?".

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And thus begin the brain-storming

Ok, look I'm not that good at UX/UI designing. I figure that should be the first step so I went and watch a few video and stumbled upon Juxtopposed's world's shortest UI/UX design course (it's pretty great, do check it out!). Simple, quick, concise - perfect.

First, I started with designing the user flow. I planned out a general idea of what I want my app to do and how it would flow from there starting from the landing all the way to when users save their work and exit the app.

Boy, I sure hope I did that correctly.

This generally is made up of user actions (except for landing). You may notice how it's mostly AO3 focused because yes, I'm using this just for AO3 - as in I stopped using fanfiction.net, Wattpad and Quotev a long time ago.

I did get some inspirations for some of the features from other existing apps. Like:

Scriever - it's paid, but most people say it's a godsend but personally, I've never tried it. I think it pioneered the scenes idea tho.

Manuskript - Free open-sourced version of Scriever basically! They also have words and phrase frequency analyser and I think that's pretty neat!

MyStory.today - I like the idea that you can edit and view multiple scenes at once but the writing UI itself feels kinda clunky? It feels bothersome to add a new scene below my current one. But free version is enough and that's pretty nice. Oh yeah, not sure if it's just me, or it's kinda laggy

Wavemaker - ok this actually a great one! Everyone should give it a chance! But again, too complicated to just add one simple idea when I just wake up for instance.

Story Plotter - This one is nice. It actually have a idea to story button but, why are there... so many things... to choose before I can start writing the story. Granted, all of them are optional and you can just spam skip... a whole 7 times (unless it's a freeform, in that case, 4 times). But this provides a nice idea to combine more than 1 ideas into one plot tho. Also, not my style

Campfire - Is nice, there's so much things you can customize! But well, the free version can be quite limiting, like what if I need more than 25k words :(

Notion - Ok, here me out, it's not a great idea to write multi-chapters long fics here exactly without some amount of setting up too. BUT I love the markdown system here and I wanted to include it.

Do try some of them out, maybe you'll find your new writing app soulmate, who knows?

So... about the user flow diagram

I'm making this app because of two main features, ok maybe three, that I want to make my life easier and make me happier.

The ideas being converted and directly stored in my writing doc.

Being able to use markdowns to type unlike google docs *squint eyes*

Copying the whole chapter in HTML so I can just throw it in AO3 and click update without worrying about forgetting the formatting OR having to go to those docs to HTML converters.

And a secret fourth thing to maaaaaybe include things like chats, boxes, and other workskin related things

Oh, yes and how could I forgot, syncing progress across multiple devices

So I want to implement auto-save features (well, at least when you're connected to the internet, else it'll save locally first). The database I'm thinking to store these should be the user's own google drive (but that would required the user to sign in to their drive first).

Inversely, I'm thinking if the user did edit the doc in the drive, it should reflect in the app too, so I'll need to think about that. But the idea is that one chapter should be stored in one doc, and then separated by a scene separator symbol (I'll figure this out) to break it into scenes in the actual app. That may be a bit messy to edit in docs though so maybe a traditional folder + docs might suffice but then, there's also a space constraint, where there is too much scenes. That's probably where the web services come in.

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And, oh! another diagram!

Ok look, the user flow made perfect sense to me while I was making it. After looking at it again while writing this... In hindsight, I should also make a screen/page flow diagram, or sitemap, so here it is! So- ta-da~!

So this should be the whole flow of screens for the app. There may be more screens in the future but for now I think this should be it!

The app mainly just consist of -

The home page - which displays ALL your works/books

The ideas page - which is basically my notes app for, well, ideas, word vomit, random shower thoughts about how much you want a fictional character to be xxx

The writing page - which will be the main working space, the rest of the pages like references, characters, places, timeline, chapters and individual scenes can be accessed easily from this page too

The profile page - well, it's your profile! Access your profile settings, change themes, work space settings or what you want to copy in your html here - maybe add friends for collabs and betas in the future? We'll see

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And that's it! ...For now

Oh my god, I'll admit, this post went on longer than I expected haha. That's all that I have to share for now! Next up, I'll get started on the wireframing process (moodboards? hunting down apps? reddit???? ok nevermind, reddit sounds like a bad idea). I know I kept calling it app, but I think I want it to have an app, windows, (macs?) and web version.

Thanks for making it this far and reading it all!

#writing app #app planning #app development #fic writing #writing tools #brainstorming #userexperience #user interface #app ideas #this is me procrastinating #on actually doing my wips

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theprodigypenguin · 1 year ago

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I hope you don't mind my asking but I'm genuinely confused and trying to gather as much info as possible. Zines. Created by fans containing fanart and fics yes? How can you morally sell and profit from them? They contain IP you don't own as an individual? I'm a fandom oldie so my view on it might be be skewered by old fandom views that fics and fanart are non profit enjoyments. I'm just curious where this shift came from. I see more and more people putting fics behind commission walls and I just can't wrap my head around it.

I don't know if I'm the right person to answer this, I'm just a dude who yells about Sabo online when I'm not at work. But I'll try??

The way zines are set up, the money that's paid during pre-orders is used for the manufacturing of the physical items: the book itself that contains the writing/art and various merchandise like acrylic charms. So basically, the majority of the money earned is used to make the physical item as well as to fund shipping costs and shipping material like boxes and bubble wrap.

The zine I wrote for recently was non-profit, all extra proceeds not used for manufacturing and shipping costs will be donated to the World Wildlife Fund. I honestly love the idea that a bunch of young people like me can use their passions to help a good cause. I don't make enough at my dayjob to donate to charities all the time, although I would love to. Even a few dollars is hard to give because the cost of living is such a train wreck. But non-profit zines are a really beautiful way to help foundations by using personal passions and hobbies like fanart and fanfic.

"Why not just donate directly to charity instead of buying the physical zine?" I don't think it's evil to want something in return. I don't think it's a bad thing to get a little book in return for donating to something.

Yes there are zines that are for profit, but I don't really see that as a bad thing either to be honest. A lot of the properties that are used as inspiration for these zines are multi-million dollar franchises. I don't think it's robbing for creators to get barely a fraction of that. Even for less popular franchises that make less money. Zines are a fun way to show your love of something and get unique fan-made merchandise that never would have existed otherwise. I don't think that's wrong.

As for the fics being behind a pay wall, I have never seen that. All fanfics that are written for zines are published publicly once the physical items have been shipped out. Everyone will get to enjoy the work put into these zines, but you also get a chance to have them as a carefully composed physical book that you can have forever, which is pretty cool.

Also, the writers I've seen who have taken commission work have always posted the finished fics publicly, so their commissions aren't behind a paywall either. Commissions are simply a way for fans who don't always write, maybe don't have the time to write, to pay for something special and individually focused to their standards. Nothing wrong with that either, I think. It's all just a way to interact with fandom.

If anyone else has thoughts on this then please comment so anon has more information, I only have a few thoughts on this. And thank you for your question, anon. I hope I was able to answer it??

#prodi answers asks #zines #fandom zines

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awkwardgtace · 2 years ago

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What inspired you to create the seer au? It's such a cool idea to dive deep in and see how Delphia interacts with the gods while also being a "background character" in the human world. How long did it take you to map out Delphia's relationships to the gods?

this got very long and probably very much ramble so I'm sorry. I put a tldr and have left most of it under a read more. I'm not even sure if a lot of my rambles are relevant to the question

tldr; I've always liked gods and the idea of false deaths seemed fun. So I ran with that and the overall development probably took a month for Rhys, Vitus, Dabria, Ash, Alessia, Delphia. With everyone I'd up it to two or three months total for the basic plot and relationships I've run forward with since. A lot of times I get an idea and just run with it so that definitely happened here and the lore or ideas come while i'm failing to sleep or bored at work.

ok this is actually a long answer (and i'm super excited to type it out) so i'm gonna just put the short answer of the first story with her before a read more that goes into like the world

So Delphia's original story was actually started by thinking about this post. It talks about giants reaching in through doors and windows and i wanted to write something with that. My brain didn't like the simple idea so it slowly morphed into someone who sees their own death and tries to escape saved by a being of protection. This kept evolving until that original post didn't work as a base anymore. I actually still have like saved snippets from when I wrote up Little Seer and all the ideas that I jumped between. A lot of it was like well she sees things, maybe she helps people and that makes her stand out. When I finished that story I didn't have everything in my head how I do now with the gods and Delphia's relationships.

I think overall it took me a few weeks to actually finish her first story. I only really had the ideas Vitus and Dabria are parents, Rhys is a brother, Ash and Alessia are partners to Delphia (the full all three with each other came later), and Delphia is more human than they are by the end. Then I ran with it, just thought about how she got there and the life she had that would make her give everything up blindly. I also did always want a more full pantheon, gods of war, prosperity, sky, fate, all the fun stuff (cause i was a greek and roman myth nerd as a child and even made pantheons for a class once. If my project partner somehow sees this shout out to the god of war and moist things)

Ok now onto the really long parts going into a read more. It may have turned into rambling. Hope it actually answers your questions :D

So once I decided I wanted Delphia to see the future and be saved by a god of protection I started to kind of dive into things I always thought about. Death that doesn't stick, names holding unbelievable power. I also always had story ideas of someone powerful always ready to sacrifice themself for whatever cause they wanted regardless of how minor or major it may seem.

So basically I made Del and I liked the idea of avoiding her name. I wanted her name to do something when she remembered it. I actually made a note of her name early on because it was going to reveal her connections to the gods in some way with a few that held more significance for her. I spent probably a day deciding how I wanted her memories to act and I liked the idea of an unexpected side effect. So I figured what if it builds up each time she dies. The spell itself gets stronger and stronger until finally the release causes a burst. I also thought it would be a good way to give gods an insight to how a human was feeling. I liked that set up to sort of propel relationships forward if I kept writing about them (which I already knew I was going to)

For Delphia as a character I wanted her to have minimal ties to humans. To give her a reason to see the gods giving her this life among them and taking it. She was also supposed to be the kind of person who sees the worst of people and continues to make the choice to help them. I wanted sort of a martyr who's choosing to be one and knows the consequences of her death. She's also supposed to be a person that if you know her you have good things to say. The stories of a witch or curse bearer doesn't match up with her. People would be overcome with guilt if the thing that turns others against her didn't make her sort of fade away. They don't remember Delphia, they remember someone with magic and a cloak.

A lot of the lore of the world I came up with as I went along. First I wanted a reason for everyone to be afraid of the gods, but I wanted it to be wrong. Easiest path is old gods and it fit in with the myths I loved too. Then I needed a reason they were gone so I figured they had to go too far. And I needed someone to stop them so Fate gives power to Life and Death.

For the actual gods it was kind of easy. Love, Fate, Life, Death, Nature, War, Prosperity, Sky, and Protection. Then I figured it's more fun to have some things not match up. Life (Vitus) looks cold, stern, and stoic, but is warm, caring, and kind. Death (Dabria) at first glance looks warm and bright, but she has to take care of death and those paths. War (Ryder) hates war and fighting despite the view that he'd encourage it and his odd way of speaking. Prosperity(Felix) looks aloof and materialistic, but cares more about others than he lets on. For the sky( Luna and Sola) I liked the idea of the two being children because the skies are ever changing and children just fit that image in my head. Love (Rhys) struggles with his own emotions and anger, while managing the feelings of others well. Nature (Ash) looks intimidating and harsh, but they are soft spoken and kind. Protection(Alessia) was different, for her I wanted her to immediately come across looking warm and welcoming, but strong and commanding too.

On top of all of that I wanted the gods to be human. There's a bunch of lore in my head about why they are how they are and what makes them different from the old gods that I plan to write more eventually. Gods aren't fun when they're perfect, they're fun when they're flawed. They're interesting and make you curious so that's what happens. I've still developed things as time goes on (such as I can't say why but at some point I've decided my gods are always prepared for war don't know against what).

Ok so after all that ramble here's the one about the relationship with Del and each god.

Short answer I'm still working on them all! For the most part I figured it out over a month for the basic interactions. This month based off when the god was developed.

Alessia, Delphia, and Ash have the most defined relationship overall. Alessia and Ash are opposites with Delphia being someone who meets in the middle. I liked the idea of that, also with all of them it's more been deciding how all of them work. For Rhys it's been a little longer than Ash and Alessia to figure it out. I wanted siblings with Rhys a bit more of someone to mess with Del. An objectively normal relationship compared to the reality they're in. I've figured them out more as I work on Rhys in other stories. Felix and Ryder are still being worked out. I know most of how I want them to interact, but their personalities aren't as solid compared to the others. Felix and Ryder fill in the role of older siblings more solidly than Rhys. For Del it's definitely how she sees them. Felix just being aloof and caring preferring to be disliked as long as he can keep the important people safe and Ryder taking blame on himself for things out of his control are newer ideas and change how they'll interact with her. I'd say those two show both the least concern and hold the most in interactions with her. Luna and Sola were instantly younger siblings for her. For the most part the relationship with Delphia is still in development. I don't actually know if I'm great at the whole writing kids things but I try :). I'm actually a younger sibling so I take a bit of how I remember thinking with my older sibling to figure out how they act. Sola needs more work than Luna though. Sola is bubbly and almost naive in ways Luna isn't which is a different thought process for me to write (i have ideas for her though I swear they are coming.). It's taking more to work out how exactly each will interact with her with those mannerisms while being gods. They aren't children forever, but that mindset they have now is the one I plan to focus on longest. Vitus and Dabria are honestly the odd ones here. Maybe the only OCs I have that are developed to a point it's kind of fine tuning when I think about a new fact for them. I think they probably took a few months to get to this point total, but their relationship with Del was pretty much immediate. In old drafts she was their actual child who ran away. I wanted good parents that are over protective at times.

I think the general relationships were all mapped out within a month or two of creating the god or Delphia. A lot are still sort of living ideas too. If it hasn't been obvious I really like found family and I see almost all of them as siblings with Vitus and Dabria as parents. Fate is left out a lot, but i actually do have ideas for them I just haven't gotten to them yet.

I don't think I actually answered your question like at all, but I also don't think I'll be any better if I wait on answering. Feel free to keep sending asks and I will continue to try and answer (hopefully on topic since I have no idea if I am anymore)

#awkwardanswers #i so went off topic #i can't even think of a way to answer better #i like rambling about my blorbos so i gave the tldr at the top #i'm so sorry if this went off the rails #i'm an admittedly insane

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