#also the text is NOT clear that he is evil or that we should hate him
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thatswhatsushesaid · 1 year ago
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“um, you are actually supposed to hate this character with your whole chest, the text is EXTREMELY clear that he is terrible and you should not like him”
well i like him anyway. what are you going to do about it, tell my mom?
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vbecker10 · 7 months ago
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What Prank?
Laundry Day (Loki x female reader Y/N)
How Could This Not Fit?! (Loki x fem reader Y/N)
Loads of a Fun (Bucky x female reader Y/N)
Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: You and Bucky plan a week's worth of pranks to get back at Sam for telling Bucky the toaster was voice activated. A few days in, several members of the team decide to join in on the pranks without even questioning who is behind it.
A/N: So in Laundry Day (linked above) I wrote an off hand little comment about how much laundry Bucky needed to do and it led to Loads of Fun (also linked above). In that one, I mentioned a joke Sam pulled on Bucky and based on a poll I did, people wanted Bucky to get back at him so here we are 💚
This is not the same Y/N from Laundry Day & How Could This Not Fit?!, this is a different one. Apparently a bunch of women in the Tower have the same name as you (haha sorry that's dumb but I wanted them both to be Y/N fics so here we are)
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Bucky's arm settles around your waist and he pulls you closer to him on the couch as you shut your laptop. "That's everything," you tell him with a triumphant smile.
"I really appreciate all of your help with this," he tells you and you turn to look at him. "I never would have even thought to do any of this myself."
"I'm happy to help. I hate when people mess with someone I like," you respond.
"Wait, you like me?" he asks jokingly.
You hit him lightly with a pillow, "I think I've made myself awkwardly clear about that."
He laughs and takes the pillow from you easily, "I'm just checking because I like you too." He moves his hand to the back of your neck and kisses you, when he pulls away he smirks and says, "You're an evil genius, you know that right?"
You giggle, "You have no idea."
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Day 1
You sit at your desk, watching the clock closely as you wait for Sam's call. Ten minutes after 8, he finally reaches out and you answer professionally, "Stark Industries Technical Support, this is Y/N, how can I help you this morning?"
"Hi Y/N, it's Sam Wilson. There's something wrong with my ID badge I think, or my entry panel maybe. I'm not sure but I can't get into my office," he tells you.
"Oh no, that's not good. I'm going to put you on hold for a few moments while I look into this for you," you tell him and he says okay. After refilling your bottle with water from the kitchen down the hall, you take him off hold. "Hi Sam, sorry that took so long. Computer is a bit slow this morning," you make up an excuse and he asks if you figured out what's wrong with his door. "Yes, looks like we need to run a quick update on your entry panel. Should be about five minutes or so," you lie easily.
"Okay, thanks," he says but you can hear the annoyance in his voice before he hangs up.
You go back to checking your emails and five minutes later, you unlock Sam's office with a smile. Your phone vibrates, alerting you to a new text from Bucky, he has gotten so much better at sending them in the last few days.
<Hi doll, sounds like your plan is going well. I can hear Sam cursing up a storm from my office.>
You laugh at the thought of Sam being that annoyed and send him a quick text back.
<I think it's working so far 😈 He should be calling again any second.>
As if on cue, your office phone rings. "Hi Y/N, it's me again," he says in a defeated tone. "I can't log into my computer."
"Well aren't you having the worst luck this morning," you tell him. You pretend to type loudly so he can hear it, "Looks like your password expired. I'll set you up with a new temporary one and then you should be good to go." He tells you thanks again and you wish him luck before hanging up.
Fifteen minutes later, your phone rings a third time. "Its Sam again," he says as soon as you answer. "There's something wrong with my computer now. I can't get my email to open and all my programs are freaking out."
"Oh no... I see what the issue is," you say dramatically and he sighs over the phone. "It looks like your computer needs to do a pretty massive update." He asks you how massive and you respond, "About an hour... maybe an hour and a half."
As soon as you and Sam hang up, Pepper calls him and he immediately knows he's in for a long day. "Did you finish the reports for the briefing this afternoon?" she asks.
"Not yet, I've been having a lot of really weird tech issues today," he explains. "IT is on it but it's going to take a while to get me up and running."
"That's unfortunate," she says but there is no sympathy in her voice. "I suggest you work through lunch if needed, those reports were supposed to be on my desk last night."
"I'll get them done," he promises then hangs up. With a loud groan, he drops his head heavily on his desk.
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Day 2
Sam complains to Steve and Bucky about all of his computer issues while on their way to his office. He opens the door and Bucky jokes, "Sounds like the tech gods were really pissed off at you, huh?"
"I guess, it really was the weirdest thing," Sam says shaking his head. Bucky and Steve each take a seat and Sam goes to sit behind his desk. As soon as he relaxes into his chair, the seat detaches from the base and he falls to the ground with a loud scream of surprise.
Sam gets up quickly from the floor as his friends come around to the other side of the desk. "Someone is messing with me," he declares over Bucky's laughter.
"Why would anyone do that?" he asks, trying to compose himself. "Not like you've ever pranked anyone around here and would deserve a little revenge."
"Not helpful Buck," Steve rolls his eyes. "Are you okay Sam?"
"Yea," he answers while he examines the chair. "Did you do this?"
"Me?" Bucky asks in response. "I can't even figure out how to use the toaster. How would I have broken into your office?"
Sam is obviously unconvinced and also on the right track. Last night after dinner, you unlocked Sam's office so Bucky could remove almost all of the screws from his chair. That wasn't the only prank you set in motion last night though. As per your plan, Bucky suggests they call maintenance for a new chair and get coffee while they wait.
Tony walks into the kitchen a few moments after the three of them and asks if they like the new coffee maker he just got. Sam pushes the button to make a medium size cup and turns to face him, "First time trying it out."
"Well be nice to it," Tony warns in a joking manner. "I had to lie to Pepper about how much the damn thing cost me but it's worth it for a perfect cup of-"
Tony's words are cut off my Sam swearing as the coffee begins to spill everywhere. The mug overflows and leaks all over the marble counter. Sam tries to press the off button to stop it but it continues to pour out.
"Don't hit it, just press it gently," Tony grumbles as he moves quickly towards his new favorite appliance.
"I am pressing it gently, it's not working," Sam says in a slightly panicked tone as the coffee spills onto the floor.
"How much coffee can that thing make?" Steve asks in shock as he backs up from the growing puddle.
Bucky shakes his head, his hand over his mouth to cover his laughter as he watches the scene unfold. He takes out his phone and sends you a text.
<Check out the security cameras in the kitchen. It worked perfectly>
Tony unplugs the uncooperative machine from the wall and looks angrily at Sam, "Do not touch this again."
"I barely touched it this time!" he counters as he moves away from the massive mess of spilled coffee. "I told them, someone is messing with me."
You reply back after pulling up the live feed.
<🤣🤣 Bonus points for Tony being so annoyed!>
"And how would this mystery person know you were going to use the coffee maker next?" Tony asks with his arms crossed.
"I have no idea," Sam sighs, rubbing his face.
"Just get back to work," he says, "And quit being so damn paranoid."
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Day 3
Your head rests against Bucky's chest, his arm holding you comfortably as you watch a movie in his room. Half way through the movie, Bucky's phone begins to vibrate on the coffee table. "Hey Sam, what's-" Bucky answers but you can hear Sam yelling faintly over him.
"Put it on speaker," you whisper and he looks at you confused. You smile and take the phone, showing him how to change the setting and he nods as the background noise becomes louder.
"I can barely hear you," Bucky says and you cover your mouth to keep quiet.
"I said, my apartment is going crazy!" Sam yells over the sound of the TV and other appliances.
"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks, his voice serious. He keeps his eyes on you and you try not to giggle.
"I don't know! I flipped the switch for the lights and the TV turned on full volume. I tried to turn it off but the remote doesn't work. The volume buttons control the air conditioner, the power button opens and closes my blinds, I even tried going in the menu but it turned on my freaking blender. How does that even happen?" he asks frantically.
"I have no idea what you want me to do," Bucky says and you shrug dramatically as if you don't know what is causing it either. "Sounds like your place is possessed," he adds. You giggle and he holds the phone away from himself to place a quick kiss on your cheek.
"I tried to call tech support but they are closed for the night," he explains. "Did you ever get the number for the woman in IT you know?"
"Who?" Bucky plays dumb.
He groans and you can hear the vacuum turn on, he must have tried another button on the reprogrammed remote. "The one you keep telling us is cute! Y/N, right? I talked to her the other day about my computer stuff," Sam says as the TV volume increases and decreases at random.
He blushes, he had forgotten he told Steve and Sam he wanted to talk to you weeks ago. "No, I chickened out of talking to her," he lies.
"Of course you freaking did!" Sam yells and you can practically hear him roll his eyes, "Screw this I'm gonna sleep in the common room tonight."
Bucky hangs up and tosses his phone back onto the table. You tap his shoulder with a smirk, "So... you think I'm cute, huh?"
He laughs, "Very." He kisses you and you lean into him as his arms wrap around you.
You curl up against him on the couch again then sit up suddenly. "What's wrong?" he asks when you get up.
You open your backpack and look over at him, "I brought my laptop... I can turn off the stuff in his room so if anyone checks, everything will be fine."
"Remind me never to get on your bad side," he laughs and you kiss him when you sit next to him again.
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Day 4
Sam finishes adjusting his suit as he walks into the training room with Clint, Bucky and Scott. Tony checks a few settings on his control panel while Thor and Loki finish up their sparing session.
When the door closes Loki chuckles and turns his attention from his brother to Sam. "I heard you had quite the night," the God of Mischief smirks.
"Seriously, even Loki knows?" Sam throws his hands on the air.
"I think the whole tower knows you think you someone is pulling weird pranks on you," Scott chimes in.
"I'm not paranoid," Sam says. "Someone here is out to get me."
"That sounds like something a paranoid person would say," Loki shrugs and Thor laughs loudly at his comment.
"I don't like agreeing with Reindeer Games but he has a point," Tony jokes, ignoring the side eye from Loki at his least favorite nickname.
"Fine, whatever," Sam gives up. "Can we just get this over with?"
"Yep," Tony agrees and motions for everyone to get back a bit so Sam can spread the wings on his new gear. He puts his goggles on and turns around, checking to see that everything is in place but his focus shifts when everyone beaks out into laughter.
"What now?" Sam asks, turning back to face the group.
"Nothing, I think we all just like the new look," Bucky says with a smile.
"What the hell?" Sam exclaimes when he catches sight of the back of his wings in the windows.
Bucky snaps a picture, thankful you showed him how to do that a few days ago, and sends it to you.
<I had no idea you were going to do this too! This is amazing!>
You open the picture of Sam's wings covered in googly eyes of every size and color, causing you to nearly spit out your water with laughter.
<I didn't do that... but I am a huge fan of whoever did it 🤣🤣🤣>
Sam looks angrily at Loki, "Why are you messing with me?" He pulls down his goggles and walks over to him.
Loki scoffs, unintimidated by the Falcon and says, "If I was 'messing with you' I would have done more then put paint on your eyewear."
He turns back towards the window quickly and sees two thick black rings of paint around his eyes. "Come on! What the hell guys?" he groans.
Bucky, Scott and Clint can barely keep themselves together long enough to deny they had anything to do with this new prank.
Thor almost looks offended and asks, "How come no one assumes it was me?"
Tony pats him on the back and says, "You're not exactly known for being stealthy." He crosses his arms but nods in agreement. "Alright, now that... that whole thing is out of our systems, let's see what the new wings can do," Tony suggests, bringing everyone back to their original reason for being there.
Sam agrees and everyone moves back a bit to watch him take off. Bucky let's a small smile slip when Sam tries to turn left to circle around the room but his suit doesn't respond correctly. He grows increasingly more confused and annoyed as he discovers his controls are reversed.
He lands after only a few minutes and Clint asks, "First time flying? That was rough to watch."
"Shut up," he answers, fiddling with the computer on his wrist as Tony walks over.
"I'll get this thing debugged and we can try again tomorrow, Tony tells him. He nods and leaves with a loud sigh. Bucky and Steve turn to leave as well but Bucky catches Clint and Scott nodding proudly to each other. He chuckles when he spots a googly eye stuck to Scott's shoe.
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Day 5
"I am so over this," Sam tells Steve and Bucky as the walk towards the kitchen. "When I find out who is doing all of this they better apologize like hell cause I'm furious," he threatens and Bucky practically bites his tongue to stay quiet.
His phone chimes in his pocket and says, "New text message to Director Nicholas Fury."
"Shut up," he says as he takes his phone out of his pocket.
It chimes again, "Texting, 'shut up'."
"No, no, no! Cancel, cancel," he says, frantically hitting buttons but none of them work to stop it.
"Text message sent," it alerts him with another chime and he rubs his face.
"What the heck was that?" Steve asks.
"I don't know... It's been doing that all day," he says. "I talked to Y/N and she said she is going to have a new phone sent up to me as soon as Stark approves it."
"Y/N, the woman Bucky likes-" Steve starts to ask with a smile but he's interrupted.
"New text message to Tony Stark," his phone says.
"I hate you," he tells the phone as he tries to turn it off.
The phones responds, "Texting, "I hate you'."
He groans and Bucky begins to lose the battle to hold back his laughter. "What is wrong with you?" Sam struggles with the device.
"Texting, 'What is wrong with you?'" it again repeats Sam.
"Stop talking to it," Steve suggests.
"Texting, 'Stop talking'," the phone adds and Steve cringes. "Text message sent."
"I'm gonna get fired," he says and slumps against the wall.
"Finding instructions on how to make fire," it says as if that is helpful.
His phone chimes to alert him to an incoming text message. "Oh good... it's Tony," he says sarcastically.
"Could be worse," Bucky says with a smile and Sam looks up at him skeptically.
His phone chimes again. "It's Fury," he says with a loud sigh.
Bucky laughs, "See, now it's worse." Steve smacks him in the shoulder and shakes his head disapprovingly but Bucky can see the smile on his face.
Later that night, most of the team is relaxing in the common room until Sam walks in angrily. He slams his laundry basket on the coffee table in front of Natasha, Clint and Wanda. Loki looks up from his book in the corner of the room and Bucky follows Steve in from the kitchen.
"Who did it?" Sam asks.
"Oh, what horrible prank where you the victim of this time?" Loki asks with a smirk as he gets up from his seat.
He pulls out his bedsheets which are all different shades of pink, "Which one of you did this? These were new."
Bucky takes out his phone and quickly finds your chat. You text him back, showing the picture of the pink sheets to your friends who joined you for dinner.
<Omg, they did not!? That's amazing 🤣🤣 I can't believe other people joined in like this>
Nat giggles and says, "I don't know but it is a really nice color."
Steve calmly says, "It might not have been on purpose. Someone probably forgot a red shirt or something in the machine."
"No, this is definitely on purpose," he argues with Steve. "I'm going to find out who is doing this."
He grabs the basket and leaves the room angrily. Bucky doesn't watch him leave, he's too focused on Wanda winking at Nat.
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Day 6
Sam sits at the far end of the large oval table in the conference room, fuming with his arms crossed.
Loki smiles wide as he takes a seat next to him. He leans close and asks, "What seems to be the trouble today?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Sam responds.
Loki doesn't give up and says, "I think you should share with the team, it might make you feel better. Besides, I'm sure we're all curious as to why you are so annoyed this morning."
Before he can reply, Fury walks into the briefing room. He slams the door shut, which gets everyone's attention at once. He stands in the front of the room, covered in glitter as he glares at Sam. "We need to talk Wilson," he tells him.
"I didn't..." he stands slowly. "You don't think I did that?"
"You left your ID badge on my desk," he holds it up by the lanyard. Sam looks at him in shock then pats his pants and jacket as if it will suddenly appear on his person.
Loki laughs so hard, he slaps the desk and says, "This is the best week I have had in decades. I don't think I've been this entertained since humans celebrated the first April Fools Day."
Sam looks at Loki and then back to Fury, "It has to be him. Do you really think I would be stupid enough to glitter bomb you and leave my ID badge?"
"I have already told you, I have not participated in your torment," Loki says. "I am merely enjoying it."
Thor adds, "Trust me, if it was my brother, he would not deny it."
"Fine, so it's not him but it's one of you," Sam looks around the room at the full table.
Fury stands unconvinced at the front of the room, his arms crossed against his chest. "You have until the end of the day to pick up every single piece of glitter," he tells Sam then he takes a seat at the head of the table to start the meeting.
Loki whispers to Sam, "I must admit, I'm really beginning to like whoever is doing this to you."
Sam rolls his eyes and says, "Oh this person you like? I thought you hated all 'humans'."
Loki corrects him, "I am generally indifferent towards your existence, that's not quite the same as hate."
"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or not," Sam says and Loki shrugs in response.
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Day 7
Sam wanders into the kitchen in the morning, yawning from lack of sleep. He had stayed up most of the night trying to figure out who was behind all of the pranks. He assumed most of the team could have done the laundry prank or googly eyes but he didn't know anyone with the tech skills to pull off the other ones.
He stops short when he sees you and Bucky together, he stands behind you with his arms around your waist. You look up at him and kiss his cheek before you notice Sam.
Sam is confused and says, "Wait are you guys together? I thought you said you didn't talk to her..."
Bucky smirks and says, "Oh yeah, I guess I lied."
"How long..." you can see him trying to figure out if you had been together long enough to aid in his pranking.
You smile at his confusion and ask, "Wanna see something cool?" He shrugs, still processing your relationship. "Bucky told me the new toaster is voice activated."
"Oh shit," Sam slowly starts to realize what set off this whole chain reaction of pranks. "Bucky, it was just a joke. It's not actually voice activated, you know that right?"
You smile and say, "Oh, then how come this happens?" You push the button on your phone inside your pocket and say, "Toast." A few seconds later, two perfectly toasted pieces of bread pop out.
"What the hell?" Sam asks, you and Bucky laugh in response. He turns and walks back out of the kitchen, nearly walking right into Tony.
"Morning," Tony greets you both as he sets up his now fixed coffee maker. "I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed with you Y/N."
"With what?" you suddenly feel nervous.
He smiles and asks, "Did you really think you could get into all of my systems without me noticing?"
Bucky moves slightly in front of you and says, "Don't fire her, it's my fault. I asked her to help. We just wanted to get back at him a little."
Tony laughs, takes a sip of his coffee and says, "Oh, I'm not mad. I actually am very impressed by how well you got into every part of the towers tech, we should probably talk about a promotion into our security division."
You look at him speechless, you had always wanted to work in that department.
"Also," he adds, "I had that glitter bomb for almost a year and I couldn't figure out how set it off in Fury's office without getting blamed for it so thank you for the distraction."
"Um... you're welcome," you tell him with a laugh.
"Barnes, you're luck she is on your side," he says as he turns to leave. "She's absolutely terrifying."
Bucky pulls you closer, looks at you and says, "I know I'm lucky."
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ennn · 1 month ago
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I expect Billy is going to be an antagonist for a while and that's OK
Anti's for either Agatha or Billy are probably going to get more intense as I predict our boy Billy's gonna be antagonistic for a bit. And let's be clear, I'm not hating, or saying either are evil, or in the wrong.
That's way too simple a take for this show. In the words of showrunner Jac Schaeffer:
...we populated the show with similarly flawed individuals who are also selfish and self-serving, who are self-sabotaging, who are constantly standing in their own way. And then they were just in conflict.  Everybody is kind of an anti-hero in the show. That was really fun and felt very truthful there. 
No one here is meant to be a pure "good guy", which is I think kind of Billy's arc -- but more on that later.
And when I mean antagonist I'm talking about the characters roles in the story. An antagonist isn't necessarily a villain. Agatha is the show's protagonist as well as its main antagonist: as much as she claims she wants only power, deep down she wants a coven, a community, a family. But she is as Schaeffer puts it, "in the way of her own thing."
Billy being an antagonist simply means that his goals – or some of them at least – conflict with Agatha's. Rio has been described as a "romantic antagonist" as well because some of her goals are also in conflict.
Long text speculation post and mild promo spoilers under the cut:
Let's first get this out of the way: Why do I think Billy's going to take on an antagonist role? Aside from well, all the things that happened at the end of Episode 5, there's some clues Billy's not all who he's been saying he is:
There's a promotional video with audio lines, and you can hear Billy saying things like "Agatha Harkness can never be anything but a covenless witch" and "I do not trust you".
Billy claiming to be "obsessed" about Agatha and her biggest fan and going on the road for power should know that she is the world's most notorious witch-killer – why is he appalled about her killing and so against it? And if episode 5 is any indication, power is not what he's lacking.
Joe and Schaeffer have mentioned that Billy will be different in the back half of episodes.
A quick clip from a trailer has Agatha (covered in mud) telling Billy "Last one there is a nice person", implying that Billy at this point doesn't want to be nice. I assume, at this point, he wants Agatha to pay for her misdeeds. The yellow tint of the clip also matches with the current Road area they're on.
Now at this point I do not know if Billy was involved in what I believe is a fake trial in episode 5. I'm inclined to think it's the Salem Seven, and we get this truth of Billy as fallout. I believe he definitely didn't want Alice dead.
Now for reasons why I think it'll be okay–even interesting–to have these two in conflict and everyone should put away their pitchfolks:
They are going to come to an understanding
You know how in Hawkeye series Yelena wants to kill Barton because she blames him for Natasha's death? I think we'll get a broadly similar arc or vibe for Agatha and Billy here. And they will design it in a similarly emotionally satisfying manner.
Right now Billy's basically like everyone–including the rest of the coven–who believes that Agatha is truly what her reputation says. And that's not surprising! Agatha is masks and layers and theatrics and she's not opening up unless she absolutely has to.
It may take a few episodes but I expect we'll get that before the series end, with this sobering exchange we have from a trailer:
Why do you let them believe those things about you? Because the truth is too awful.
I don't think Billy will be the Big Bad simply because I expect at the end Agatha's going to have to choose between wanting her coven, her community of witches, and something else—power perhaps, or her son, and go back to her old ways.
And for that to happen Agatha will need to have formed enough bonds with her coven, including Billy, to make it a difficult choice.
Power, darkness, and anti-heroes
Look, Agatha is my babe and she definitely needs a win after all that awful that happened in episode 5, but if you think about it Billy being a lot like his mom is really interesting? More interesting than him just being a cute innocent fanboy.
Because if he is an anti-hero, with some darkness in him, it's an opportunity to explore some of the themes or ideas we touched on in Wandavision with Wanda and her power, and her sense of self.
Heroes don't torture people.
Agatha recognises the darkness in people, delights in it even: as touched on in interviews, it's one of the reasons why she saw herself as Detective Agnes in that spell, as an investigator exploring the darkest aspects of humanity. She's seen the worst in people, and knows how to play the villain.
For Billy to avoid making the same mistakes as his mom, he needs to understand not just his power, but his potential for darkness.
Power corrupts, and when you're born with that reality-warping level of power, it's dangerous. It's so tempting to make people do what you need them to. And it's a slippery slope once you start killing, even if it's for good reasons.
Agatha never wanted to kill her first coven, in that moment she only wanted to live. But she did, with a power she never asked for, that made it so easy to keep taking and taking.
It is kind of tragic given the circumstances that Agatha couldn't have been a mentor to Wanda at the end of Wandavision, given the events of Multiverse of Madness, because she made some valid points and they could have been a coven, given Agatha's deep-deep-buried desire for one.
And looking at all the mentor-kid pairings we've seen in the MCU so far (Parker and Stark, Clint and Bishop, Strange and Chavez, etc.), I don't think we've ever had this kind of dynamic.
Interesting power dynamics
I think Agatha is at her most interesting when she's on the back foot. As we've seen in episode one, she's not one to give up when physically outmatched, quite the opposite. She's a survivor, she's stubborn, and she's a performer.
Billy has been revealed to have the magical equivalent of a gun, and is capable of taking this entire coven hostage.
They're going to have to interact in new ways now. But now it's going to be more of a dance.
It's new danger, new complications, but also new ways to connect, and also the opportunity for a more honest relationship.
Knowledge, history, community
This point isn't specific only to Agatha and Billy but I'm reminded of Billy taking it out not just on Agatha but Lilia and Jen as well.
It's not surprising that Alice and Billy, the two youngest coven members are also the most idealistic and noble. The world has not been kind to witches over the centuries—Lilia's been chased out of villages for her visions, Jen has been attacked—and the older members of the group have done what they can to survive: How much can you blame them for being selfish in a cruel world?
Power isn't your problem, it's knowledge.
In this case I mean not just the knowledge of witchcraft, but lived experience as well.
Younger witches have to learn their community's history, and the older ones have to be challenged in their set ways of thinking, in how they've adapted, because they're not always good.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was an allegory to be made here to the queer community as well. Schaeffer has mentioned there is a large overlap between the history and persecution of witches and that of the LGBTQ community.
--
Good lord this post ran away from me. If you actually read all of that you do deserve a cookie.
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gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 10 months ago
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Do you think Valentino from Hazbin is a sociopath?
I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.
I don't think he has an antisocial personality disorder. I can categorize him as a man with borderline personality disorder with antisocial tendencies (generally men with BPD are quite likely to exhibit APD traits).
Why do I interpret his behavior as BPD:
❤️ mood swings and incoherent personality. Like he's a completely different person with Vox and with Angel. Duh, even during his one scene with Vox his whole attitude did 180° in seconds.
❤️ hardcore abandonment issues. It makes him act out to get Vox's attention. And he hates Angel so much not because of pure sadism, but because he used to love him (well, at least he interpreted his feelings as love). As he became more and more toxic and after Angel finally tried to stand up for himself, Valentino felt so terribly rejected and betrayed that he immediately started hating him.
❤️ there's this thing called splitting and it means that people with BPD perceive others very binary, as either good or bad. There's nothing between love and hate and those emotions can change rapidly. So yeah imo he occasionally "loves" Angel and that's why he hasn't killed him yet but at the same time he proceeds to abuse him so terribly (I can't buy the "you make me money" excuse, no amount of money would matter if he really wanted to kill him. And I don't believe he keeps him alive just to torture him, Angel's behavior causes him too much stress. Like, he cares so much.).
❤️ Things common for men with BPD are substance abuse (overlord of drugs, duh), aggressive behaviors, and violent tendencies (I don't think I need to provide you with an example)
❤️ General high novelty seeking. It essentially means looking for stimuli to feel anything and just fill horrifying emotional emptiness (in the case of BPD; novelty-seeking is also a trait of perfectly healthy people that differs individually). I connect this novelty-seeking thing to him being an overlord of depravity, he loves perversion for the sake of perversion because everything extreme he does or witnesses makes him feel things again. And he bores very quickly so he has to constantly push boundaries further.
❤️ Autodestructive tendencies. We don't see them in the text, I just assume they are there. Again - drugs, unsafe sex, and (according to my headcanons) involvement in violent and irresponsible "BDSM" (I put it in a quotation because BDSM to be BDSM must be safe and based on informed consent, trust and good communication) which is essentially using Vox' sadism to inflict harm on himself. He rather do it using someone else's hands because he perceives this desire to self-harm as a weakness but at the same time, can't resist it.
Vox hc | Velvette hc | Vees + Angel hc
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queersatanic · 1 year ago
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wait, no nut november is fash? i thought it was likea kinky edging thing
It’s one of those “haha it’s just ironic shitposting… unless” sort of things that the far-right often uses, but this one is specifically centered on why men need to preserve their manly vitality and pornography is evil
Yet it would be naive to ignore that there’s significant overlap between the general ideology behind NoFap — and, to a degree, No Nut November — and that of the far right, which has increasingly coopted the principles of masturbation abstinence. Because the challenge is associated with abstaining from porn, some people associated with the movement have taken the extra step of harassing adult performers on social media, giving it an additional layer of troubling implications. “In the past [No Nut November] has always been like, ‘Oh, look at this ridiculous thing some people are participating in,'” says adult performer and director Casey Calvert. “This year, people [in the industry] are talking about, ‘Oh, actually this is connected to the far right and maybe we shouldn’t just be saying hahaha, No Nut November.'”
A new meme brings these implications into sharp relief. Coomer is a reference to a meme of an unkempt, skeezy-looking bearded man in a white tank top with vaguely Semitic features, accompanied by descriptive text like “doesn’t even know anything about politics,” “extremely aesthetic right arm (huge muscle),” and “has never heard of NoFap.”
It’s been circulating on 4chan for the past year, but Alex Hawkins, the vice president of the porn tube site xHamster, says he started seeing it in the replies on his company’s Twitter feed back in September, when presidential candidate Andrew Yang tweeted about limiting access to pornography. At first, “we didn’t really know what it meant and thought it was funny,” he tells Rolling Stone. Then, in late October, the coomer resurfaced thanks to a Twitter campaign led by a user named TeapotLad, in which users vowed to change their avatars to the coomer should they fail No Nut November. PewDiePie shouted out the campaign in a recent YouTube video, as did far-right YouTuber Paul Joseph Watson, who is perhaps best known for being one of the many extremist figures, including Milo Yiannopolous and Alex Jones, to be banned from Facebook. “No Nut November and the Coomer meme represent a deeper meaning,” he said in a tweet. “Porn is evil. It literally re-wires your brain and causes erectile dysfunction. Take the pledge. Don’t be a Coomer.”
The term has also been used in the context of “OK coomer,” a play on the “OK boomer” meme, in response to tweets critical of No Nut November or masturbation abstinence in general. “It’s positioned as this epic battle between the weak beta masturbators and the strong, alpha NoFappers,” says Hawkins.
Like most memes, “coomer” carries with it more than a tinge of irony, and it’s not always easy to determine whether it’s being used flippantly or to actually deride men who masturbate. But the implication is clear: masturbating is an urge that should be resisted at all costs. David Ley, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist who studies pornography and mental health, saw the meme after he tweeted his criticism of No Nut November, referring to it as “a creepy little smorgasbord of insecurity-driven hate with anti-Semitism, misogyny, and homophobia all rolled up in one,” he tells Rolling Stone.
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Haha oh boy two Limbus text posts with moderate but not negative reception and I’m already going into controversial territory
My picks for distortion detective ids :) … oh boy I’m gonna be put in the singing machine for there but THEY ALL HAVE REASONINGS YOUR HONOUR
Let’s just start with the easy ones
Ezra and Dias : Ezra don/Dias Faust … do I need to explain these ? Well Ezra is very energetic and a big fan of Workshops just like don but exchange workshops with fixers. And Faust and Dias just click … ya dig ?
The one where there isn’t an obvious choice but which will need an explanation
YuRia I believe should be ryoshu, her „interest“ in psychomends mirrors ryoshus „interest“ in „art“ her personality also fits onto ryoshu more than other options (yi sang because smart and an inventor… and that’s about it Faust is already given to dias)
Oh boy this is gonna have people look at me weird
Vespa crabro: now meursault is the obvious pick and one I’d agree with, one small issue tho… I believe SINCLAIR is a better pick in all honesty. Why ? Let’s start superficial, young and a powerhouse (especially when they experience strong emotions).and for the more story aspects. They were forced out of a rather good position in life without any choice. Vespa losing his job and Sinclair losing his family and they both have a bad history with an evil group (we don’t know if Vespa was traumatized by the thumb like Nagel und Hammer traumatized Sinclair but it’s clear he holds distain for the syndicate)
And now for the grand finale the thing I might get hate for
Moses
And no it is NOT outis … stop booing me I’m right „but old woman“ „but smoke war“ well guess what. The person I’m thinking off neutralizes both points and yes ITS GREGOR first the superficial points… Gregor is old too bro is 35 he’s already standing with two feet in his grave and yeah smoke war and stuff… also both Gregor and Moses are missing an arm and they both smoke… now for the story THE BIG THING why I believe Gregor is a better pick. It’s because they resemble each other. Just on different sides of the war. Both were essentially brainwashed by a powerful entity on their side of the war. Hermann the head scientist of g Corp and Dias the cult leader of the Udjat. Both also were the favorite underling of said powerful figure and both Moses and Gregor were put into a leadership position Gregor being the mascot and war hero of g Corp, Moses the captain of the udjat and both now have major ptsd from the war also holding distain for their respective brainwasher. And let’s not forget both have been on record for turning into a creature when in emotional distress
Or in short: Ezra/don Dias/Faust YuRia/ryoshu Vespa/Sinclair Moses/Gregor
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cosmicjoke · 2 years ago
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So, this whole... scene
“Tell me, please, why not?”
“I don’t know,” he said again.  “I only know I can’t.  I want to.  Believe me, I do.  But I can’t.  My past is... so close to me... My memories of those days are so clear.  It’s as if I’m in India again, or Rio.  Ah, yes, Rio.  It’s as if I am that young man again.”
I knew I was to blame for this.  I knew it, and that it was useless to say apologetic words.  I also sensed something else.  I was an evil being, and even when I was in this body, David could sense that evil.  He could sense the powerful vampiric greed.  It was an old evil, brooding and terrible.  Gretchen hadn’t sensed it.  I had deceived her with this warm and smiling body.  But when David looked at me, he saw that blonde blue-eyed demon whom he knew so well.
I said nothing.  Merely looked out over the sea.  Give me back my body.  Let me be that devil, I thought.  Take me away from this paltry brand of desire and this weakness.  Take me back into the dark heavens where I belong.  And it seemed suddenly that my loneliness and my misery were as terrible as they had ever been before this experiment, before this little sojourn into more vulnerable flesh.  Yes, let me be outside it again, please.  Let me be a watcher.  How could I have been such a fool?
I heard David say something to me, but I didn’t really catch the words.  I looked up slowly, pulling myself out of my thoughts, and I saw that he had turned to face me, and I realized that his hand was resting gently on my neck.  I wanted to say something angry- Take your hand away, don’t torment me- but I didn’t speak.
“No, you’re not evil, that’s not it,” he whispered.  “It’s me, don’t you understand?  It’s my fear!  You don’t know what this adventure has meant to me!  To be here again in this part of the great world- and with you!  I love you.  I love you desperately and insanely, I love the soul inside you, and don’t you see, it’s not evil.  It’s not greedy.  But it’s immense.  It overpowers even this youthful body because it is your soul, fierce and indomitable and outside time- the soul of the true Lestat.  I can’t give in to it.  I can’t... do it.  I’ll lose myself forever if I do it, as surely as if... as if...”
He broke off, too shaken obviously to go on.  I’d hated the pain in his voice, the faint tremor undermining its deep firmness.  How could I ever forgive myself?
... I saw Gretchen’s face.  I heard her voice.
There was a moment this morning when I thought I could throw up everything- just to be with you... I could feel it sweeping me away, the way the music once did.  And if you were to say “Come with me,” even now, I might go... The meaning of chastity is not to fall in love... I could fall in love with you.  I know I could.
And then beyond this burning image, faint yet undeniable, I saw the face of Louis, and I heard words spoken in his voice that I wanted to forget.
Where was David?  Let me wake from these memories.  I don’t want them.  I looked up and saw him again, and in him the old familiar dignity, the restrait, the imperturbable strength.  But I saw the pain too.
“Forgive me,” he whispered... “You drank from the fountain of youth when you drank the blood of Magnus.  Really you did.  You’ll never know what it means to be the old man that I am now.  God help me, I loathe the word, but it’s true.  I’m old.”
“I understand,” I said. “Don’t worry.”  I leant forward and kissed him again.  “I’ll leave you alone.  Come on, we should sleep.  I promise.  I’ll leave you alone.”
Fuck... I know this is a lot of text, but... God damn it, this whole section of “TotBT” has fucked me up beyond words.  I couldn’t leave any part of it out because it demonstrates so powerfully the true, most heartbreaking and tragic aspect of Lestat’s character.  Just... holy shit.
Lestat is asking David here why he’s rejecting him in his advances to make love, and the above exchange is what follows.
What gets me here is how entirely alike this whole thing is to Lestat’s experiences with... every person he’s ever loved, and the reason, the absolutely devastating reason, why Lestat thinks he’s evil.  Because that belief of his is perpetrated by the very people he loves without them realizing it, and it informs maybe more than anything why Lestat feels so utterly alone and cut off in his life.  Why he feels so unwanted.
Lestat thinks David is rejecting him because he can sense the evil in him, and that’s why he refuses to make love.  That’s not the reason, but the reason David then gives only reinforces Lestat’s negative self-perception.
Lestat’s reaction when David reaches out and holds him around the neck is so revealing.  Lestat is upset.  He wants to tell David to stop “tormenting” him.  And what is that torment?  It’s David’s kindness in the face of what Lestat believes is his own evil.  It’s David’s friendship, his love.  Lestat doesn’t believe he deserves it, any of it, and because he believes so much in his own evil, he also believes he can never, truly connect with another person.  He can never, truly be with another person.  What Lestat says, about his loneliness and misery being as terrible as ever before in that moment of David’s rejection, is Lestat resigning himself to his supposedly evil nature cutting him off from true, human connection.  From true communion.  He wants to be a vampire.  He wants the freedom that being a vampire allows him.  But in that freedom, he is also denied the one, other thing he most longs for in his life, that being the love and companionship of another.  David’s kindness here is a torment to Lestat because it’s like a reminder to him of what he can never have.  It’s a reminder to him of how he’ll always be alone.
And then it gets fucking worse, because in trying to sooth Lestat, David unintentionally just confirms for him all the worst things he’s ever believed about himself.
David tries to correct this negative self-perception in Lestat.  He tells him that isn’t the reason, that he ISN’T evil.  That the reason he can’t be with Lestat is because Lestat’s soul is just too “immense”, that it “overpowers”, and that David is afraid to give in to him, because if he does, he’ll lose himself completely.  Does this sound like something Lestat’s been told before?
Nicki said essentially this very same thing to Lestat in the moment he rejected him, when he had grown to hate him, and blame him for his own downfall.  He spoke about Lestat’s light, about how it obliterates everything in its path.  How it draws people to him and then vanquishes them.  Armand said the same thing to Lestat when he told him he’d destroyed his coven and his very way of life by overwhelming his followers with his sheer force of will and presence.  Louis told him the very same thing when he spoke of Lestat’s seduction of him into accepting the Dark Gift, of how dazzling was his presence, that it completely ensnared him.  Gretchen told him the same, when she confessed that if he’d simply asked her to come with him, she might very well have given up everything she valued in her life to do so.
Over and over and over again, Lestat is told by everyone, even when they mean only kindness in saying so, that the sheer power of his will, the immense force of his being, is a force of destruction.  That it sweeps up everyone and everything around him, and lays waste to it.  That there’s nothing of themselves left, for the immensity of Lestat’s very soul.
At the end of this exchange, Lestat tells David he understands, and for him not to worry, because he’ll leave him alone now. 
This is Lestat giving up.  This is Lestat having his own hope for love once again dashed, and accepting it, because he believes so thoroughly in his own evil.  He blames himself for David’s misery.  For David’s doubt and fear of being old, of being close to death.  He thinks, like he believes he’s done to every person in his life whom he’s ever loved, that he’s only done David harm by trying to be with him, as a friend, and as a lover.  He’s felt this same pain of rejection from his father, from his brothers, from Nicki, from Gabrielle, from Armand, from Marius, from Louis, from Claudia, and now from David.  This is Lestat accepting that there’s something inherently destructive and wrong in him, and it’s that inherent wrongness which defines and ensures his isolation and aloneness.  He tells David he’ll leave him alone because he doesn’t want to hurt this person he loves, even as it leaves Lestat once again with no one. 
Lestat is taught the lesson again and again and again that for him to be with another person, that for him to truly have a companion, ultimately means the destruction of that person.  That to truly obtain what he most longs for in his life, someone to love, and to love him in return, means to hurt that very person in turn.
Lestat said this to Louis earlier in the story, when discussing the danger Reglan James might pose to him, and it was so effecting, because of how much Lestat meant it
“I won’t let him harm you, Louis,” I said.  I turned and threw an evil glance at him.  “I would never ever have let anyone harm you.”
Lestat is remembering here how Louis had stood by and let Claudia nearly kill him, and he’s hurt by it, by the memory of Louis’ inaction, because it was a betrayal, but also, I think, because the memory is like a declaration of his own unworthiness in being loved.  Louis let Claudia nearly kill him because Lestat had ruined their lives simply by... being himself.  Simply by being in their lives.
But the last thing Lestat ever, truly wants to do is hurt those he loves.  He wants desperately to protect them, to love them and make them happy.  He means it when he says he would never have stood by and let anyone harm Louis, the way Louis stood by and let Claudia harm him. 
But when he’s shown and told again and again that to even be with the people he loves, to allow himself to be with them, causes them harm, it places him in a truly tragic and untenable position.
He can’t bear to be alone.  He needs love.  He needs to both give it, and receive it.  Without it, he’s completely miserable.  He would never wish to hurt those he loves.  He never sought revenge on Claudia or Louis for what they did to him.  He never wanted to hurt Armand for what he did to him.  He doesn’t think on revenge now against Marius or the others for refusing to help him.  He also can’t bear to be anyone but himself.  He can’t bury his “individual soul” as he calls it, he can’t be anyone but who he is.  But these things, Lestat believes, can’t coexist together.  He can’t both be himself and be loved.  He can’t both be himself and give love.  He can’t both be himself and not be alone.  He can’t both be himself and not harm those he loves.
I can’t think of a more tragic contradiction, a more tragic conflict. 
This book is fucking me up.
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batsarebetterthanpeople · 7 months ago
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🍺 Jamie, we need the full unabridged Calico Jack essay you certainly have.
Ok so here's the thing. I've already made a lot of the meta about him that I need to make so I'll just link some and give you director's commentary. This is in reverse chronological order of when I posted it so my understanding of my evil alcoholic meow meow has grown more complex and nuanced the farther down it goes.
The full throttle Jack apologia I was on before the canyon materialized - I understand why this one has 7 notes and three of them are from me. I really do. However I stand by most of what I said here. I don't stand by my relative minimization of what Jack did do wrong (Being homophobic, being a bad friend to Ed and saying that they're not friends, Being manipulative instead of just warning Ed and letting him make the call about Stede). I think that what's missing from this little essay is that Jack is, as a narrative tool, trying to pull Ed back into his old life that he hates. His fundamental narrative purpose is to show what Ed's life was like back when he was shitty. Now I think from this perspective that Stede is just as culpable for doing that to Mary but it's not Mary's story any more than it's Jack's story so I am reading against text in this meta. However what you have to understand is that in may of 2022 when I published this thing that Jack was universally hated. I personally saw him as a sympathetic and wrong character where as the general consensus back then was that the dalliances he talked about with Ed had to have been non consensual if they were real because why would Ed ever have sex with a guy like that. Which is a take I have a lot of problems with but the main one is that it denies Ed agency to have sex with a guy that rubs you, the viewer the wrong way. So basically, I agree with this post but I would not make it in the current relatively Jack friendly climate of the fandom. Nor would I make it in a post canyon enviornment where the homophobic masc white guy apologia has reached a fever pitch just because I don't want to be associated with that. Also I'm a lot less charitable to Stede than most ofmd fans for personal, non jack related reasons. Also I want to make a note here that I should have made in that meta but will make now that I'm not saying that Stede is terrible and you shouldn't like him, my argument was essentially that seeing Jack as one dimentionally evil is kind of weird when you're willing to completely write off Stede's misogyny era as an oopsy. I like Stede. Most people like Stede. I stood alone in also liking Jack at the time.
Here's a much more reasonable strain of Jack apologia that I've settled on - In the early days I bounced back and forth between "he literally did nothing wrong except kill Karl" and "He's the worst guy ever (affectionate)" but eventually I saw how the wind was blowing on people who said "he's never done anything wrong" about Izzy and I was like, I'll dial it back even though I'm not throwing Ed or Stede (generally unless I'm also defending Mary B in the same breath) under the bus to say it. You'll notice it's pretty much the same thesis except for instead of being phrased as "Stede was out of pocket and Jack did nothing wrong and you're all highschool brained" it's phrased as "I think this is what happened but these two other things could also be the case and I would still like him. This is the clear role he plays in the narrative giving it to someone else annoys me." Also Beardy is what I started having my Jack tulpa call Ed before season 2. I've explained why Here on the @ask-calico-jack sideblog where I'm the mod because I got an ask about it and I decided to address it out of character. Also I'm Not Going Anywhere is a Jack apologia fic I was writing at the time which I have since abandoned. Basically I whumped him into submission.
My Evidence for Jack being willing to risk his life to save Ed - more apologia that I stand by. Once again I want to reiterate that in 2022 everybody hated that guy and most people still hate him which is fair and natural but enough people have come around that I'm now willing to ignore the haters because I have to fight with the people who like him wrong.
this was part of an ask game asking me what I thought about ships and I went off about Ed and Jack
I learned that Calico Jack was named after calico the fabric and I made this because I'm still on my Jack/Ed enemies to rivals who fuck shit - Not sure about Ed's skin here, is he too orange? depends on whether you're on desktop or mobile.
Calico Jack penis discourse - This one is integral to my view of the pissing scene. I love the pissing scene it's one of the only scenes of tv ever.
Jack is cute he would kill me for saying it but it's true 2 3 4
Brief asside that I feel like I have to put in and here's probably best: At some point in late 2022 early 2023 Jack stopped being so villified and people started to think he was kinda fun. After this the CJizzys attacked. I used to passively like the concept of CJizzy because in my head they were the worlds worst guys being terrible together. It was giving Izzy a pirate captain to obsess over the way he obsesses over blackbeard, except the pirate captain actually liked being a pirate captain so it was healthier than what he has going on with Ed, and also it was like if that one straight couple that are together but hate each other because she's a nag and he's a slob were gay pirates who partake in unsafe bdsm. Then a bunch of people started writing and drawing this wildly out of character CJizzy stuff and I got turned off of it completely because they would hollow out my favoriate little villain to turn him into the perfect white masc boyfriend for their little guy because they cant enjoy a show if there aren't masc4mascs in it, and now because of that I hate the ship. I just can't stand people giving Jack emotional intelligence without him being wrapped in a blanket and socialized by force first. It's not that I don't like woobifying him it's that you're woobifying him wrong and above is the way you ought to do it. anyway, onwards.
Anon asks me how I think Jack felt about being rejected by the crew - I stumble upon an interesting potential motive for him faumenting mutiny against Stede and potentially evidence for him telling the truth about having been mutinied three times.
Ed has a type - I added Frenchie in here because I'm a serial shipper and I stand by that decision despite Frenchie being different from Jack and Stede in most ways but I genuinely think that Stede and Jack are a very similar type of guy
Jack is not a frat boy - this one is me being a dick again but also I'm right.
Jack calls Stede slurs, this is funny - note that Stede also calls Jack "calico" as if his first name is Calico and his last name is Jack and that historically Jack was called "calico" Jack because some guy writing a salacious book about pirates wanted to make him seem gay so to me Jack's nickname for Stede is Fairy and Stede's nickname for Jack is Fudgepacker. This to me is both amusing and homoerotic.
Fic rec - What I think Jack and Ed were like as kids, there's a one paragraph meta and then below it a link to a 2k word fic
Jack has a type - Anne and Mary came out and I love them
Jack fucks - This has always been my take but I think there's a lot of people on here who thinks he doesn't fuck well and all of them are wrong, and more importantly, have not had sex with as many bisexual 50 year old alcoholic perverts as I have, so they don't know what they're talking about. Jack would try to sell me meth on grindr.
Jack and Ed are tragic actually - they could have been highschool sweet hearts who got married if Jack wasn't a little bitch
I am shipping so hard right now - my thesis about my pet 5 way
Aro cowboy pirate- Jack and Jim also have stuff in common
Jack has dimentions don't you dare say he doesn't have dimensions - Jack actually is sympathetic Ed told me himself and he also told you and Jack also says a lot about both Ed and Stede and that's the whole reason he's there is to say a lot about Ed and Stede if you will just listen to what his presence says about the guys you like maybe you would understand him like I do. (you general not you specifically)
and finally
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my writing advice.
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Chapter 16 - Ralph Rideth the Wood Perilous Again 
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Synopsis:
Ralph is angry with Roger, but Roger has one more trick up his sleeve: the offer to introduce him to the person he most wants to see in the world.
Summary:
"And this master," said Ralph, "is he of the Dry Tree?" Said Roger: "I scarce know how to answer thee without lying: but this I say, that whether he be or not, this is true; amongst those men I have friends and amongst them foes; but fate bindeth me to them for a while."
Roger led a strong, reddish horse to Ralph, well-equipped for fighting, and he had a good grey horse of his own. The two of them mounted at once, and Ralph rode slowly away through the wood, letting his horse take the lead, for he was thinking about all that had happened to him, and wondering what would happen next. Meanwhile, the others of that group did not wait around, but immediately got on their horses and left by a different direction.
No one said anything for a while until Roger came up close to him and said: “Where are we going, fair lord? Do you have an idea of which direction your errand lies?”
Ralph took this as mockery, and he answered sharply: “I don’t know; you’ll take me wherever you want to go, the same as you brought me here with lies and stories. I suppose you will take me by some roundabout path to the stronghold of the Dry Tree. It doesn’t matter, since you wouldn’t dare take me back to the Burg. Although, now it seems to me that it is bad to be left alone with a proven traitor and liar, and I might have been better off going with the whole group.
“No, no,” said Roger, “You’re angry and that doesn’t surprise me, but let go of that, if you can. In truth, what I have told you of myself and my struggles was not just lies. Nor was it a lie that you were in danger in the Burg, you being strong, cheeky, and—I think—raised to hate cruel deeds and injustice. They cannot abide such freedom in their ranks, and you would soon find yourself in trouble with them. And further, it’s not bad to have left those others, who might still have some rough work to do before they make it home. I won’t take you to Hampton under Scaur if you don’t want to go there; but I will certainly take you someplace you have not asked me to yet, where I say you would be both safe and at ease. Now lastly I say this: whatever I have done, I have done it for good and not evil, and there is also another one, whom I will not say the name of to you, who wishes even more good for you than I, because of the two you killed in the Wood Perilous the day before yesterday.
When Ralph heard those last words, such a strong and sweet hope to see that woman of the Crossroads of the Wood Perilous awoke in him that he forget everything else, except that he must not alienate Roger, lest they separate and he should lose the assistance of one who might bring him to see the one he had unwittingly become so enthralled by; so he spoke to Roger quietly and humbly: “Well, my fellow traveler, you see how I am still young and have stumbled into dangerous situations, which are beyond my strength to overcome alone, at least until I get close enough to look them in the eye and strike them down, if they are my enemy. So I ask you to guide me, and if you betray me then that’s on you. In truth, since I don’t know these woods and might get lost and wind up  back at the Burg—whom you’ve now made my enemies—I will take you at your word and assume the best of you, and not ask anything except you where you to go.”
“Fair sir,” said Roger, “we must at least get away from here, as we are still too close to the Burg to be safe; but as to where else we might go, we can talk about it as we ride.”
Then he heeled his horse forward at a quick trot, for the horses were fresh and the woods around them mostly of beech trees and clear of underbrush; and Roger seemed to know the way, and he went on without hesitation.
Some four hours later, the wood thinned and the beech trees were left behind and they came into a quiet, rugged area of low hills, stony earth, and scraggy thorn bushes.
The Roger said: “Here I think we’re out of danger with the Burg; if they follow our trail all the way to where we split with the other group, they won’t notice us two going off alone compared to all the others. So we can rest the horses a bit, though there’s nothing for them to eat around here. In that regard, we’re somewhat better off: look, I have food and drink in my saddlebags.”
So they got down and let their horses graze while they ate and drank, during which Ralph again asked Roger where they were going. Roger said: “I’m taking you to a safe place, and a noble house of one my masters, where you can stay if you’d like, peacefully.”
“And this master,” said Ralph, “is he of the Dry Tree?”
“I don’t really know how to answer that; I’ll say this: that whether or not he is, I have friends and enemies among them, but fate binds me to them for a time.”
Said Ralph, reddening: “Are there women among them?”
“Yes, yes,” said Roger, smiling a little. “You can bet on that.”
“And that Lady of the Dry Tree,” Ralph continued, reddening more but not hiding his face, “that woman that the folk of the Burg spoke so bitterly of, threatening her with torture and death if they could just get their hands on her, what will you tell me about her?”
“Very little,” said Roger, “except that you want to see her, and that you may do so if you let me guide you.”
Ralph listened as if he hardly heard what Roger was saying, but soon he got up and paced a little with his brows furrowed like someone considering something difficult. He said nothing, and Roger seemed to not pay him any mind, though in truth he looked at him discreetly from time to time, until at last Ralph came back and sat by Roger and after a while said: “I don’t know why you people of the Dry Tree want me, or what you will do with me, but I would leave right now—whatever the danger—except for one thing.”
Roger said: “You’ll learn later on, and find that it’s really very simple; but meanwhile I tell you again that it is for your good. So ride away if you want, who will stop you? Certainly not me.”
“No,” said Ralph, “I will first go to you to that fair house, and afterwards we shall see what happens.
“Yes,” said Roger, “then let’s get to riding, so that even if we can’t get there before dark, we’ll get there before morning, for it’s still far away.”
Notes:
From my memory, this is sort of the end of Part 1 of Book 1. I guess I said something similar when we met Roger and left the crossroads of the Wood Perilous—which was also true—but now we’ve wholly moved on from the setup and passed our first adventure, and soon we will be getting into the heart of The Road unto Love; That is to say, the Love portion of it.
This is where time and direction begin to get weird. So far we know Ralph traveled south from Upmeads to the Burg, and that Hampton under Scaur was east of the crossroads, but Ralph’s escape from the Burg leaves things in a weird place. He exits by a postern between the East and South Gates, but we don’t know which direction that door was facing. He estimates that they are traveling through the Wood Perilous south of the Burg, so I assume they went more or less south from there (although it seems like the Fellowship of the Dry Tree would trend more north-east. When Ralph and Roger split from the larger group, we’re not given any sort of guidance as to which direction they’re going. Presumably, it’s towards Roger’s Master’s house the whole time (not just after they have their discussion) but even that is supposition. I’m hoping that the next chapter gives some indication of direction, or else I have no idea where to put the Hall of Abundance (their next destination). In my first reading, I imagined them approaching from the south, but now I’m thinking more from the north-west, not that I really have any evidence for that yet. Hopefully we get some sort of landmark to orient ourselves by.
I’m going to start marking on the map wherever Ralph spends the night, to help track the days (for as long as possible). So far, each day has been described, but coming up we’ll get to longer periods of time that are glossed over, and may have to guess at things. Morris does keep us informed about the seasons, which is nice, and may mention specific months again later. If I remember correctly, the whole journey lasts a year (likely where Tolkien got the idea from), but I could be conflating things.
Map:
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idonttalktopeasants · 3 months ago
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My English homework
I wrote this for an English assignment but now I don’t know what to do with it so I’m putting it here
Warning:a lot of fat jokes
Word count:1,530
Betsy butterface was a 10-year-old girl with brown hair and a boyfriend, Tobey McGuire, a loser with glasses and a bow tie. They were average kids in an average school full of average losers, in an average town called (I’ll pick a name later)
Today was a weird day Betsy went to school and did all her classes as normal, nothing could possibly go wrong, or so they thought.
Betsy was supposed to meet Tobey to get the new trendy balenciaga ice cream, it cost 5000 dollars each but because they weren’t American they could afford it.
They were walking while eating the ice cream and as expected it tasted like total garbage, but clout ain’t free even if it meant ingesting a few pieces of lead. Both of them had to take breaks on the walk because they needed to throw up so badly in nearby trash cans
Betsy felt sick after managing to eat the ice cream, before she could be stopped she fell in a lake, but unlike any other lake it started glowing, then it stopped, Betsy quickly got out and went back home.
The next day Betsy woke up to her trendy skincare broken and messy. She was so lucky that she woke up early or the toxic fumes would have hurt her, the cleanup took half an hour but that wasn’t a problem. She got dressed and went to school
Betsy got a note in her locker saying:
Meet me beehynd the skool
Secret guy
Betsy didn’t know who it was from but she went anyway. Turns out it was a bully, chad, he was a 14-year-old guy who got held back. Chad saw betsy and she ran away, Chad chased Betsy into a dark alley and cornered her, he was about to beat her up but suddenly got propelled into a wall. How could this have happened? There was nobody there?
Chad’s face started bruising as well, it looked like he was getting beaten up by a boxing champion but no one was there.betsy held her arm in anticipation but Chad then stopped moving. Betsy got worried and left, she bumped into a lady and was going to apologize but she saw the lady frozen in place also. The pumpkin spice latte she had dropped was frozen in the air.
Looking around Betsy saw that everything was frozen in place and when she looked at her arm she saw it was glowing, the same glow from the lake. Betsy held her arm tightly again and this time everything went back to normal.
This was amazing, for some strange reason that lake gave Betsy awesome powers. Apparently she could unconsciously beat people up and stop time. The first thing she did was go to Tobey McGuire’s house. When she arrived Tobey obviously didn't believe her, Betsy didn’t know what to do but she held her arm again, and then everything froze again this time Tobey didn’t freeze along with everything else. Tobey dropped his nerdy Pokémon cards and they froze in the air
‘What the hell is this!?!?’ Said Tobey, Betsy said nothing, Tobey saw Betsy’s arm glowing ‘holy crap your arm! It’s glowing, this has to be because of the lake’ said Tobey ‘I don’t care, this is awesome!’ Said Betsy ‘if I could beat up Chad with this imagine what else I could do’ Tobey
Got worried and said ‘Betsy I think we should be responsible with this, as they say-‘ Betsy cut him off ‘ Shut the hell up Tobey Nobody cares’ betsy left
The next day was horrible for everyone of Betsy’s classmates, Betsy planned to enlist revenge on all who have shown her nothing but scorn and bitter hate. She cheated off of people during a pop quiz and wrote notes insulting people in their desk, nobody could blame her because she was in another classroom, she found a girl sitting at her seat, it was HER SEAT, the NERVE was unbelievable, Betsy didn’t know this girl but it was clear she was evil so she held her arm again and carried the girl to another chair, when the girl was unfrozen she was confused.
At the end of the school day Tobey texted Betsy on her IPHONE 14 and said ‘ you need to come to the lake I have something to show you *emoji*’. In 10 minutes Betsy arrived ‘what’s going on?’ She said, Tobey replied with ‘ look what I found’ he took a bottle with a piece of paper inside and opened it:
When a person falls into this lake, preferably a minor who recently ingested a balenciaga product, they will receive the abilities that they need to defeat Gorlock the destroyer.
Who’s gorlock the destroyer? And why is he so important that they needed to make a magic pond to be able to defeat him? Betsy and Tobey decided that they should to Google it, and that’s what they did. They were both sitting in a park bench near the lake, Turns out it was an old folk tale that they told in the 1800s based off a real man. It took all of 5 minutes to find a copy:
‘There was once a man by the name of Ali in a town called (I’ll think of a name later). A man experiencing the failings of obesity at the young age of 23, his only sanctuary was the sweet shop across the street because no female could ever love a man like him, wider than the burj Kalifha itself. Ali died of heart failure at the age of 23 from 1801-1824. He needed to be buried under a field because a regular cemetery was too small for him. Many years later women who had rejected Ali were found dead, and people have reported seeing a gigantic monster that looked like Ali destroying every gym In (I’ll think of a name later). Ali has later been given the name gorlock the destroyer.’
And suddenly the ground underneath the lake crumbled and something really big emerged, it was like Godzilla but fatter. It could only be one thing. Gorlock the destroyer.
Betsy and tobey watched the whole thing in horror as gorlock went and tried to steal things like women and the McDonald’s, luckily he could only succeed in one of those things. The failure made him upset and he destroyed the gyms. This was too much, Betsy ran away to a wrecked up gym and hid behind the flipped-over gym equipment.
A few minutes went by but Betsy couldn’t leave the spot and risk getting killed. A bright light appeared and a ghost of an old-timey man showed up, he was bald.Betsy yelled ‘WHO ARE YOU’ immediately the ghost responded ‘ I am drew grate, a pioneer of my time, I created the lake’ Betsy was surprised ‘why are you here?’ She asked ‘I was mistaken, the person that fell in the lake was supposed to be a boy, I forgot to include that in the prophecy’ said drew grate ‘ I came to take the power back and Give it the the boy who was with you’ Betsy was upset ‘NO,you already gave it to me’ she yelled ‘how dare you, you haven’t done anything’ said drew grate ‘ how do you know that, I haven’t even had it for a day’ betsy said ‘If I defeat gorlock will you let me keep it?’ Drew was shocked but he spent a few seconds thinking and said ‘okay’. He then disappeared.
Betsy had to think what could she do? Gorlock came to the gym Betsy was in and destroyed all the equipment, Betsy had to dodge the undeserved attacks to the equipment she was hiding behind. That’s it! The equipment! Maybe Betsy could use that to get rid of gorlock. Right now she had to find Tobey. So she left and found him, next to a big pile of concrete. Gorlock attacked Tobey’s house and Tobey got hit in the head.
Betsy told Tobey about her plan and he agreed, after he felt better Betsy held her arm and everything froze. Her and Tobey spent a lot of time making a trail using exercise equipment that lead her away from (I’ll think of a name later). When Betsy held her arm again gorlock saw the trail immediately and started to follow the trail and destroy each piece of equipment on the way
Gorlock fell in the ocean and started moving like she was getting beaten up by a pro boxer. Just like Chad. Betsy then realized the reason why it happened, Betsy hated Chad and she was so angry at him that she unconsciously did that. Betsy hated gorlock for destroying Tobey’s house. gorlock stopped moving and started disintegrating. The townspeople came back out and started the cleanup process,Betsy went back home after that. There was no doubt now that she proved drew grate wrong.
When it was time to go to school again the rumors about what happened were crazy, one kid said that it was Godzilla’s older brother but nonetheless Betsy felt really cool and this time she needed no trendy stuff to prove it.
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mrlnsfrt · 10 months ago
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The Final Test
Life is not so much about what you did in the past as it is about what you are doing now. You may have done things you are not proud of. Oftentimes, there isn’t much you can do about your past, but you are in control of what you do now. You can learn and grow from your past mistakes and become a better version of yourself.
The Test
 And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, “Fill the men’s sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man’s money in the mouth of his sack. 2 Also put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest, and his grain money.” So he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken. 3 As soon as the morning dawned, the men were sent away, they and their donkeys. - Genesis 44:1-3 NKJV
Previously Joseph had served Benjamin 5 times as much as their brothers (see my post Family Drama) and now Joseph has another test along the same lines. Joseph is determined to discover how his brothers feel about Benjamin. Joseph had been the favorite son, and his brothers had hated him for it (see Genesis 37:3 and my post Dysfunctional Family). Benjamin is likely the favorite son now and Joseph wants to know if his brothers will betray Benjamin like they did him.
The text makes it clear that Joseph cares for his family. He makes sure that their sacks of grain are filled to the brim and he also returns the money. Joseph is providing for his brothers and father and their families. Joseph’s primary interest is the character of his brothers. Are they still evil and selfish? Are they willing to betray and abandon their youngest brother?
Not so fast
4 When they had gone out of the city, and were not yet far off, Joseph said to his steward, “Get up, follow the men; and when you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why have you repaid evil for good? 5 Is not this the one from which my lord drinks, and with which he indeed practices divination? You have done evil in so doing.’ ” - Genesis 44:4-5 NKJV
Place yourself in the shoes of Joseph’s brothers, how would you feel? Scared? Confused? Angry?
Supplement: Divination
Divination is the practice of foreseeing the future or discovering hidden knowledge. Hydromancy, the art of interpreting the liquids (water) in a cup or bowl, was widely practiced in the ancient Near East (other liquids included oil and wine). The common methods were interpreting the patterns of moving liquids or the patterns of floating objects in the liquid (cp. tasseomancy [tea leaf reading]). That Joseph is said to use the cup for “divination”351 (cf. comments on 30:27) is unexpected since this practice is outlawed in Israel (Lev 19:26; Deut 18:10). There is no instance of this practice in the Joseph narrative (cf. comments on 43:33), and since Joseph’s wisdom relies on the interpretation of dreams, it is best understood as part of the elaborate ploy. The importance of the divination cup is its personal ownership by the Egyptian lord (“my cup,” v. 2). By stealing the cup, the steward concludes, “This is a wicked thing you have done” (v. 5). Verse 6 is typical of good Hebrew narrative style, indicating that the messenger carried out his instructions. - K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 798–799.
What are you talking about?
6 So he overtook them, and he spoke to them these same words. 7 And they said to him, “Why does my lord say these words? Far be it from us that your servants should do such a thing. 8 Look, we brought back to you from the land of Canaan the money which we found in the mouth of our sacks. How then could we steal silver or gold from your lord’s house? 9 With whomever of your servants it is found, let him die, and we also will be my lord’s slaves.” - Geneis 44:6-9 NKJV
Joseph’s brothers are so sure that they are innocent that they make a hasty vow, that if they find anything, whoever has it should be put to death and all of them will become Joseph’s slaves. We, the readers/audience, know something that the brothers do not know. We know that Joseph placed his cup in Benjamin’s bag. What will happen next? Will Benjamin be killed? Will the brothers be taken as slaves?
Notice how all the brothers assume collective guilt. Even though only one among them would be found guilty they decided that they would stand or fall together. This could be a sign of restored family loyalty
An easy out?
10 And he said, “Now also let it be according to your words; he with whom it is found shall be my slave, and you shall be blameless.” 11 Then each man speedily let down his sack to the ground, and each opened his sack. 12 So he searched. He began with the oldest and left off with the youngest; and the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack. 13 Then they tore their clothes, and each man loaded his donkey and returned to the city. - Genesis 44:10-13 NKJV
Joseph’s servant says that it will be done according to their words, but then he changes it slightly. Only the one with whom he finds the cup will be taken as Joseph’s slave, the remainder of the brothers will remain blameless. This is great news! No one has to die, and the brothers have the perfect way to get rid of their father’s favorite son. This means that they will each receive a larger part of the inheritance. This also means one of them could possibly become the new favorite. They could tell their father exactly what happened and they would be innocent. After all, had not Jacob said “And may God Almighty give you mercy before the man, that he may release your other brother and Benjamin. If I am bereaved, I am bereaved!” (Genesis 43:14 NKJV)? The brothers now have an easy out with their father, Jacob.
Joseph’s officer here delivers an Oscar-worthy performance. He could have just gone straight to Benjamin’s sack and found the cup, but no, the search begins with the oldest brother. We already know that the cup will be found in the cup of the youngest brother, but they don’t know that. With each bag that is searched, the brothers experience relief, and their confidence that everything will be okay grows. They are sure that none of them have the cup, and they can’t wait to resume their journey home when suddenly something terrible happens.
The cup was found in Benjamin’s sack! How could this be? I imagine Benjamin pleading and explaining that he did not do it, that he did not take Joseph’s cup. Imagine how the brothers feel. We get a sense of it by how they react. They tore their clothes and loaded their donkeys and they all came back together with Benjamin. Once again we see evidence of the loyalty among the brothers. They were free to go. Only Benjamin had to stay. But all the brothers return to Egypt, and there is no grumbling or disagreement among them. Perhaps they have changed after all.
This turn of events calls our attention to the way in which it reveals the changed character of Judah and his brothers. If we assume that Benjamin was guilty, his act had brought disgrace upon all the brothers. If the brohter’s had been as they were of old it would have been perfectly easy to settle the question by killing Benjamin on the spot and clear themselves of any possible accusation of collaboration. But this was exactly what they did not and would not do. Instead, they returned to Egypt, and even more incredible, there was no reproach of Benjamin. They were certainly conscious of their own greater guilt, and so they returned to suffer together. At last, they were a united family; ready for God’s further and higher purposes concerning them. (W. H. Griffith Thomas, A Devotional Commentary: Genesis (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1946), 420.
What were you thinking?
14 So Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house, and he was still there; and they fell before him on the ground. 15 And Joseph said to them, “What deed is this you have done? Did you not know that such a man as I can certainly practice divination?”
16 Then Judah said, “What shall we say to my lord? What shall we speak? Or how shall we clear ourselves? God has found out the iniquity of your servants; here we are, my lord’s slaves, both we and he also with whom the cup was found.”
17 But he said, “Far be it from me that I should do so; the man in whose hand the cup was found, he shall be my slave. And as for you, go up in peace to your father.” - Genesis 44:14-17 NKJV
“What is this that you have done?” (See also Genesis 3:13–14; 20:9; 26:10; 29:25) Joseph continues to play the part. Joseph does not really practice divination and he does not really need the cup. But he plays this role to test the character of his brothers and to see if they have changed since they betrayed him and sold him as a slave.
Notice how the text (Genesis 44:14) describes Judah and his brothers coming to Joseph’s house. Reuben was the oldest brother, Jacob’s firstborn, and the first child of Leah (Genesis 29:32) (see my blog post He loves me, he loves me not). Judah was Leah’s 4th son (Genesis 29:35), why does the story portray him as the leader of Jacob’s sons? The text describes the brothers following Judah and Judah is the one who speaks for the group. How come?
It was Judah who had suggested to his brothers that they sell Joseph (Genesis 37:26-28 see also Betrayed by Family) You could argue that Judah stood to gain by accepting the Egyptian’s judgment to incarcerate only Benjamin (Genesis 44:17) as he had gained from Joseph’s sale (Genesis 37:27–28). Judah’s self-serving plan resulted in a life of guilt that included his own sad experiences of losing sons and of suffering deception (Genesis 38, Strong Female Character). Judah, faced with a second chance, seizes his opportunity to do the right thing. Judah is done acting in a selfish and self-serving manner.
Judah’s cruelty towards Joseph proved to be Judah’s “cross” to bear. But unlike Jesus, who was innocent of wrongdoing, bearing the undeserved punishment of others (1 Peter 3:18), Judah was not innocent. Granted, he had not stolen and had no knowledge of the silver chalice, but he interpreted the judgment against the brothers as God’s just retribution for their unanswered crime against Joseph. Judah especially took the lead in doing away with his brother Joseph (Genesis 37:26–28), and now he fittingly takes on the weight of the responsibility (Genesis 43:9; 44:33).
Judah is neither a hero nor a villain. The character of Judah is too real, too complex for such facile categories. […] Judah has undergone a moral reformation, not through a single event here or there but through the cumulative effect of life’s vicissitudes - K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 794.
Judah does not claim to be innocent, but he also does not confess to stealing the chalice, they did not steal it. However, Judah knows they have not atoned for the sin of betraying their brother Joseph. For Judah, this mistaken charge against them is the recompense for their crime against Joseph.
Judah’s Plea
18 Then Judah came near to him and said: “O my lord, please let your servant speak a word in my lord’s hearing, and do not let your anger burn against your servant; for you are even like Pharaoh. 19 My lord asked his servants, saying, ‘Have you a father or a brother?’ 20 And we said to my lord, ‘We have a father, an old man, and a child of his old age, who is young; his brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother’s children, and his father loves him.’ 21 Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me, that I may set my eyes on him.’ 22 And we said to my lord, ‘The lad cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’ 23 But you said to your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you shall see my face no more.’
24 “So it was, when we went up to your servant my father, that we told him the words of my lord. 25 And our father said, ‘Go back and buy us a little food.’ 26 But we said, ‘We cannot go down; if our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we may not see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’ 27 Then your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons; 28 and the one went out from me, and I said, “Surely he is torn to pieces”; and I have not seen him since. 29 But if you take this one also from me, and calamity befalls him, you shall bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave.’
30 “Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father, and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life, 31 it will happen, when he sees that the lad is not with us, that he will die. So your servants will bring down the gray hair of your servant our father with sorrow to the grave. 32 For your servant became surety for the lad to my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, then I shall bear the blame before my father forever.’ 33 Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the lad as a slave to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brothers. 34 For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest perhaps I see the evil that would come upon my father?” - Genesis 44:18-34 NKJV
What do you think of Judah’s speech?
Here’s what some Bible commentaries had to say.
“[Judah’s] lengthy plea to be imprisoned in place of Benjamin is among the finest and most moving of all petitions.”  - Allen P. Ross, “Genesis,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 94.
This speech has appropriately been called one of the masterpieces of Hebrew literary composition, one of the finest specimens of natural eloquence in the world.” - Francis D. Nichol, ed., The Seventh-Day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 1 (Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1978), 460.
Truly has Luther said: “What would I not give to be able to pray before the Lord as Judah here interceded for Benjamin, for it is a perfect model of prayer, nay, of the strong feeling which must underlie all prayer.” And, blessed be God, One has so interceded for us, Who has given Himself as our surety, and become a bondsman for us. His advocacy has been heard; His substitution accepted; and His intercession for us is ever continued, and ever prevails. The Lord Jesus Christ is “the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David,” and “hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.” - Alfred Edersheim, Bible History: Old Testament, vol. 1 (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1975), 171.
The speech of Judah in behalf of his young brother Benjamin has been fittingly characterised as “one of the masterpieces of Hebrew composition” (Kalisch), “one of the grandest and fairest to be found in the Old Testament” (Lange), “a more moving oration than ever orator pronounced” (Lawson), “one of the finest specimens of natural eloquence in the world” (Inglis). Without being distinguished by either brilliant imagination or highly poetic diction, “its inimitable charm and excellence consist in the power of psychological truth, easy simplicity, and affecting pathos” (Kalisch) - H. D. M. Spence-Jones, ed., Genesis, The Pulpit Commentary (London; New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1909), 490.
The pathos of the recital is also deeply touching and almost perfect as he goes on to show how the old man, bereaved of his two favorite sons, will be brought down to his grave in sorrow. Then the appeal closes with the heroic offer to become a bondman in the place of Benjamin, to sacrifice himself on behalf of his brother. “For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father.” - W. H. Griffith Thomas, A Devotional Commentary: Genesis (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1946), 420.
One of the aspects of the speech that caught my attention is Judah’s self-sacrifice. He voluntarily submits himself to servitude on behalf of his younger brother, from a different mother, who enjoyed a higher degree of parental affection. He does all this in order to save his aged father from experiencing fresh sorrow and anguish. He knew that his father would miss him less than he would miss Benjamin. That’s gotta hurt. Judah’s self-forgetful magnanimity is admirable. Judah emerges from this terrible trial as a truly converted man, a worthy ancestor of the promised seed, and worthy to give his name to the chosen people of God.
Joseph could no longer doubt that a complete change had come over his brothers, and over Judah in particular, since the day when he had so eloquently urged the sale of Joseph into slavery. Joseph’s tactics had proved eminently successful. He was now convinced regarding the attitude of his brothers, and satisfied that their conversion was genuine. There was no further need to test them, and he was therefore ready to reveal his identity. (Francis D. Nichol, ed., p.461.) (H. D. M. Spence-Jones, ed. p.490–491.)
Takeaway
So what do you take away from this story?
After reading Genesis 38 it would be difficult to imagine Judah ever recovering from such a shameful situation. Yet in Genesis 44 Judah arises as a leader and delivers a moving speech in behalf of his brother Benjamin. I believe this chapter highlights that life is not about how far we fall, but about how willing we are to change, grow, and become a better person.
Judah had strayed from God and done terrible things yet he returned to God and over time God molded and transformed him into a leader that unified his brothers in the right path.
It does not matter how badly you have messed up in the past. The question is, are you willing to humble yourself and admit your faults before God? Are you willing to allow God to transform you into the person He desires you to be?
God desires to bless you and to use you in a mighty way. God will by no means clear the guilty, but He will forgive the sins of all who humbly come to Him.
Your best days are ahead of you when you choose to follow God today.
I did not say easy days, I said your best days. What Judah did was not easy, but it was the right thing and it continues to impact lives to this day. His transformation was so significant that it is out of his descendants that King David and ultimately Jesus will come. (Matthew 1:3-6, 16)
Choose God today. God has already chosen you. Let God mold you into the best version of yourself.
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antianakin · 9 months ago
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It's interesting to hear your perspective on it because I think even when I first watched it as a kid, I felt the opposite about these scenes. I didn't HATE the "sand" line, but I didn't like... really love all the romantic stuff, either. Particularly in AOTC, I MUCH preferred Obi-Wan's storyline to Anakin's. Obi-Wan is objectively a funnier, wittier character than Anakin is in the films, he tends to get more clever one-liners and he's also involved in a lot more action than Anakin is earlier on. Nothing in the romantic storyline really spoke to me, but I found Obi-Wan's little Nancy Drew adventure really enjoyable. And as an adult, I find that the romantic storyline is one of the things executed the least well in the Prequels, but that's not necessarily a dialogue issue so much as it is an issue of editing and chemistry and direction.
But by contrast, I never had an issue with the Jedi Council scene. I don't think it ever came across to me as the Jedi Council BULLYING Anakin at all. Maybe I just didn't relate to Anakin, despite how young I was at the time, but I think it just came across as the Jedi testing Anakin and Anakin failing the special magic test. I don't think I read into it any deeper than that and felt upset on Anakin's behalf or like the Jedi were the bad guys for acting the way they do in this sequence. Again, I think as a child, it was always very very clear that the Jedi were the good guys and I'm fairly certain I knew enough about Star Wars to know Anakin was going to become a villain anyway, so there was no reason for me to see this scene as unreasonable bullying of this poor innocent child. The Jedi are the good guys and Anakin is the future bad guy, so it just doesn't make any sense that the good guys are acting like bad guys and that I'm supposed to sympathize with the future villain. As an adult I can see more complexity in it, obviously, but I don't think my perspective on it as a child was that the Jedi were in the wrong or evil bullies in that scene at all.
All that being said, I could understand the argument that it's perhaps not made clear enough WHY Anakin fails the test, what it is he does wrong specifically. All they say is that he's "too old" within the dialogue, obviously, and they don't spell it out that the reason he fails is due to him not being honest about his feelings when asked and getting defensive about it when called out on that. And without that clarity, I can understand why people might come to the conclusion that the Council are just being unreasonable, especially if you're relating a lot more to child Anakin in the situation.
So while I think you aren't wrong that there are things that are perhaps not made super clear within the dialogue, the reason pro Jedi people tend to insist that it's obvious is because it's an interpretation that was VASTLY unpopular for a while and probably still is if I step outside the little bubble I've made for myself, even though it's something Lucas HAS discussed before and we DO know what mindfulness means now. I think the pro Jedi people got shot down for this interpretation quite a lot because other fans were more inclined to just feel bad for Anakin and not look any deeper than that, so now we all buckle down on it because we've discussed it to death, we've pointed out the evidence in the text and from the writer, and we still get told we're wrong. So maybe it wasn't obvious in 1999, but it SHOULD be obvious now.
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@theneutralmime
I guess that depends on what you mean by weird or difficult to understand.
I think the dialogue is sometimes pretty clunky, I think it's aged really badly in some places, I think sometimes Lucas didn't explain things as well as maybe needed to for a primarily Western audience. But I don't think it's IMPOSSIBLE to understand, either. It's made for children to be able to understand the story and I think he managed that perfectly fine. I think by and large that the intended audience of the Prequel films understood what the story was. They know that the Jedi are the good guys and Anakin's the bad guy even if he seems nicer at the start. It's mostly adults who pick apart the Prequels and find it too clunky to be understood.
I think that Lucas's writing strength is not necessarily in his dialogue, but I also think he WAS intentional with what dialogue he chose and that there's reasons for why characters speak the way they do or say the things they do. Anakin is bad at flirting and awkward because he wanted Anakin to come off as a whiny teenager. This was entirely intentional. You can discuss whether making Anakin a whiny teenager was a good choice or not, but I think he succeeds at making Anakin feel like a whiny, bratty nineteen year old with like little to no ability to be suave.
I think it's possible that popular fandom interpretations of the Prequels have made it difficult to view them the way Lucas intended. It became SO widely accepted that the Prequels were about the Jedi being corrupt that it was nearly impossible to understand them any other way, and it DID take reading several essays on the dialogue and the different interviews Lucas had where he explained some of it for me to change my perspective on it. But that might be less of a problem of the film and its dialogue being weird on its own and more of a problem of fandom interpretations becoming so popular that they manage to overwrite my own understanding of the films. Also, if you're a more casual fan of the films, like I was before a couple of years ago, you're not necessarily looking up interviews where Lucas discusses these things or watching the films with his audio commentary on to hear him talk about certain scenes, so if a certain fandom interpretation is accepted as the truth and starts to spread, you might end up more familiar with THAT than you are with the things Lucas has said that counteract it.
One of the things I needed essays to help me with was attachment, because I DO think that Lucas failed to make sure that his definition of it was made clear to an audience that would've had a very different association with the word already. That being said, I think he DOES make the THEME clear within the story, about selfishness and greed and an inability to let go and how burning the world for the people you love is bad and how you can always choose to be bad but you can always choose to be good again too. I don't think the themes that Lucas was going for in his films are honestly that weird or different from what we OFTEN see in films in Hollywood. The concept of "letting go" is literally everywhere. It crops up in SO MANY films, especially in films aimed at the same demographic, but even films aimed at a more adult audience, too. It's an incredibly basic and popular theme and it's not hard to pick up in his films.
But I think people heard the word "attachment" and it flipped them out because the word attachment is basically equivalent to "relationship" or "love" most of the time in more Western media (see literally any Jane Austen film, they use the word a lot in there) and so they came to the conclusion that the Jedi forbid relationships and love entirely and then it led them to the conclusion that the Jedi were corrupt and THAT'S why Anakin fell to the dark side. That one word being tossed into the dialogue without adequate clarification on how Lucas was defining it had a cascade effect on people's ability to understand the story within the Prequels.
For example, there IS a parallel between Anakin's fall and the corruption of an institution in the Prequels, so people are picking up on something that DOES EXIST in the films, they're just applying it to the wrong institution. It's not the Jedi Order that parallels Anakin's corruption, it's the SENATE. But because people applied the corruption thing to the Jedi, they ended up dismissing the Senate as just already evil because it became the Empire later and it just becomes yet another way to blame the Jedi for things because they were working for an inherently evil organization and either didn't care or were too blind to realize it. So you can see how a misunderstanding of one word in one line of dialogue in one film ended up changing the entire understanding of the films.
But to a kid watching the movies, the word attachment might not yet be something they're familiar enough with to misunderstand. They might just gloss over that line of dialogue the way they would anything that involved a word they didn't totally understand and just rely on the visuals and music and other dialogue to lead them to the correct conclusions. Kids watching these films are capable of picking up that OF COURSE the Jedi are the good guys the whole time, of course they're not corrupt monsters, everything in the films made it very clear that they're the good guys. And it's a lot easier to pick up on the real themes of the story and the way the films are telling it when you start from that conclusion.
So, for me, when I was first reading those essays about what attachment meant in Star Wars and what Lucas had said about it, it didn't feel like I was getting a whole new understanding of the story so much as things were FINALLY slotting into place with what I'd understood as a child. My feelings about the Prequels and the story I'd gotten from them had never really aligned with what everyone else seemed convinced was true, but I'd never met anyone else who saw them positively before, so I'd just assumed if I liked them then it was because I'd watched them incorrectly, that I only liked them because I'd been shown the Prequels first when I was really young whereas everyone else had watched the Original Trilogy first. For me, reading these different interpretations of the Prequels that showcased a very different story than the one most people knew about wasn't NEW (not precisely anyway), it was just VALIDATING. There was a REASON I'd liked them before, a reason I still DID like them as an adult, even though everyone around me seemed to hate them and believe unequivocally that they were terrible films.
So is some of the dialogue weird? Sure, it's clunky sometimes, and there are things that aren't made clear enough, but I don't think Lucas was RELYING on his dialogue to get his story across. He's said before that in some ways he views Star Wars as silent films and the dialogue that's in it is more like music. The story isn't told through the dialogue for him, it's told through the visuals and the dialogue itself is secondary. And this works out fine when you're a kid who's used to dialogue sometimes not being understandable anyway and so you're more reliant on visuals and music to help you figure out the story, but the adults who were watching it were more used to relying on the dialogue to tell them everything they needed to know and so these films fell short. So while I do think the dialogue was flawed, I don't think it really hinders understanding of the story Lucas was trying to tell, but popular fandom interpretations of the films becoming the ONLY interpretation of the films DOES hinder understanding of that story.
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uselessheretic · 3 years ago
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i think the thing that irritates me about izzy ofmd hate is that you don't have to like izzy? you don't. he's an unpleasant little man who does bad things and as an antagonist is very easy (and fun) to hate. you can gleefully cheer for him to be tossed overboard s2 that is okay!
i am bothered though by the push for other people to not engage with his character. like i made one joke post about izzy's perspective that was still making fun of him, and someone sent me hate messages saying i was racist and supported homophobia and that i should get my teeth kicked in (which is VERY funny considering i'm gay and black and this was sent by a white fan)
less extreme than that though is people consistently talking about how he's not that deep, that interpreting him as queer is homophobic, and that fans trying to analyze him are trying to redeem a flat white villain instead of engaging with other characters. which... you can engage with multiple characters to be clear. you can. there isn't a limit to how many dick jokes one can make about a cast at any given point in time. also analyzing izzy means analyzing ed like you need to understand izzy if you want to understand ed.
but also it's just not true to call him flat? if you say "izzy's in love with ed and acting out because of jealousy" then people say you're reading too far into it. but this is something that is supported in the text of the show and by the creator. i don't understand how "ed and izzy is its own love story and izzy is a spurned wife and izzy is in love with ed but their relationship is very toxic" could be any more clear. wanting to read more into him isn't grasping at fake straws either, he was written that way to be complicated where david jenkins has said that izzy's the character to pay attention to on a rewatch because there's more to him at first glance.
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like this is literally canon. i cannot stress enough that izzy being in love with ed and izzy being a complex character worth analyzing is just canon and the creator specifically pointed to him as a character to focus more on
he's LITERALLY in love with ed this isn't reaching this isn't "it's not that deep" and he's not generically evil without anything else to him. this is a textual, canon reading of their relationship explicitly stated by the creator several times
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and i guess i'm just? confused then on how we keep going back to a pushback against analyzing the actual show and character. it doesnt absolve izzy of his actions, but it does make him more interesting. if you think about it, izzy's character doesn't make a lot of sense if you read him as having his motivations based solely in a homophobic desire to keep blackbeard masc especially when you don't actually see much pushback from him in show of ed being too feminine or whatever. he kicks him when he's down in episode 10, but i stfg it's so much more interesting if you just pay attention to what actually spurns that on because the "you're blackbeard not ed" as a running theme thru the show is SO interesting when you realize that izzy primarily calls him ed and edward, but he hates it when others do it. like ugh sir you are so toxic and possessive lmaooo
you don't need to like him, but what's the point in trying to force others into flattening his character? where again, you can dislike him. you can even dislike him loudly and on your own blog. but it's weird for people to go out of their way and get mad at other people for engaging with the content or stating facts about the character that are literally canon.
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tteokdoroki · 4 years ago
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— “PANTY THIEF + BAKUGOU.”
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author’s note(s): inspired by this fanart and everyone being horny on THE DASH !! dedicated to @honeykeigo n @lady-bakuhoe for enabling my horny behaviour ok ok. also this turned out longer than i expected so ,,, have fun?
warning(s): mdni, 18+, smut, dubcon, mentions of drinking, uhh sniffed and stolen panties, slight!exhibitionism, power play dynamics, fingering, pussy slaps uwu, fem!reader + pro hero!bakugou.
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“y-you uh, you don’t haf’ta do this mishta—?“
“dynamight.”
“r-right, dy-ma-might!”
katsuki had rolled his eyes the first time you spoke to him, a sweet, darling little girl too drunk on whatever shitty alcohol you’d been served at the bar on friday night. you obviously didn’t drink much, maybe even drunk too much— the hero would tell by the way your eyes crossed with your legs as you walked and the fact that you couldn’t remember the right way to spell your own name and it was clear your friends were a bunch of assholes for abandoning their shit faced friend to find her own way home.
he hated, this part of the job but he’d have felt bad if the guy following you home had done something bad to you and besides— the way you pressed yourself to the explosive hero, breasts spilling out of your tight black dress, thick and juicy thighs exposed to the fresh night air makes the whole ordeal worth it. oh you’re so cute, got katsuki’s cock stirring in his pants— his baggy hero costume suddenly becoming way too fucking tight for his liking. you’ll pay him back, he knows that you will, all of his fans do in some way or another.
you’ll be special though, if the smell of your saccharine cunt is anything to go by. slick dripping down your shaky thighs while he guides you down the empty street, and of course you’d be attracted to him. bakugou will have to indulge in you; his reward for being such a gentleman, for being your hero. “this ish me,” you squeak when the pair of you arrive at the door to your apartment complex. your words are smooshed together by your own drunken haze while you unlock the door to let yourself in.
how rude of you, forgetting all about dynamight who’d basically saved your life tonight. without much of a fight, bakugou pushes you against the door, effectively keeping it closed, his eyes cloud over— a storm thick with lust as you look up at him so innocently he could break. “not gonna invite me up, sweet stuff?” he coos, amused at the shiver that runs laps down the base of your spine. your thighs jump apart only just, giving the hero an opportunity to shove his hand up your dress to cup your sweet little cunt.
“i— i didn’t know—“ your mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, confusion etched so prettily across your face it makes bakugou want to bend you over and fill your hole to the brim. he’d save that for later though. “didn’t think you’d want to—“
the blonde growls, thick fingers easily finding your panties under that short dress of yours. the black lace is soaked to the bone, a sticky mess spreading across the digits that now pinch at your puffy clit. you jump and bakugou growls hungrily. “s’awfully rude don’cha think, sweet stuff? that’s okay though, i think you can reward me right fuckin’ here, don’chu?” a toothy smirk tugs at the hero’s lips when you dumbly nod in agreement, your body trembling from a mix of cold, neediness and excitement. “atta girl, spread those needy fuckin’ thighs for me then.”
you seem to have sobered up quickly, listening well for the hero that saved you and part your meaty thighs to let bakugou push your panties to the side and give him more access to your runny cunny. “p-please dynamight, d-do somethin,” comes your whiney voice as he lowers his to get a better view of your spread your pussy lips; he watches as your hole oozes just for him, desperate to filled and fucked. it’s too early for his cock, he needs to give you a taste of something else before you get drunk on him.
without warning, he pushes two of his expert fingers past your puckering entrance, immediately curling them in a come hither motion as his heated red eyes flicker up to watch your face. your ruby painted lips hang open in a silent moan while your fingers dig into bakugou’s shoulders so hard your nails form tears in his hero suit. “fuckin’ look atcha baby, barely even touched ya ‘n you’re already suckin’ down my fingers so greedily.” he snarls, sharp teeth coming down on your barley clothed breast.
bakugou’s thumb massages rough circles into your clit, pulling more honeyed cries from your lips as your eyes screw shut. “f-fuck, dynamight, need more of your touch, ‘m begging you please!” is all you can say, mindlessly babbling as you fail to keep yourself up right. the explosive pro hero steadies you with an arm wrapped around your waist, fingers curling again to explore more of your velvet walls.
“it’s katsuki, to you,” he barks out, using the arm around your waist to smack your sloppy cunt, the wet sound echoing across the street. “needy little thing, beggin’ me like this, who am i to deny your wishes?” bakugou grins, mercilessly scissoring his digits into your tight heat to stretch you wide open for him. he can’t believe his luck, the way you’re so pliant and responsive to him and him alone.
it’s too soon for him to be this addicted to your cute moans filling the crisp air but he can’t help himself, not when you clamp around his scarred fingers with every pump of them into your silken heat. not with the way your own fingers now curl in sun kissed blonde hair— pulling the hero upwards to suck on his bottom lip, followed by his tongue.
you cry out, the most beautiful sound katsuki’s every heard in all twenty years of living when his fingers press down hard on that gummy pleasure spot inside you, and like the good girl you are for him, you keep your shaky thighs open for him. “you’re such a good fuckin’ doll, letting me finger you out in the open like this, anyone could see us but you wouldn’t care, not when you’re creamin’ your panties for dynamight, right sweet thing?” bakugou’s lewd words go straight to your cunt, entangled with the squelching noises as he moves within you.
“yes! yes! wouldn’t care, don’ care...j-jus wanna cum for you, s-suki—fuck, please—“ you mewl into the night, doe eyes shimmering with tears as the knot in your lower tummy gets tighter and tighter until you can’t bare it anymore.
bakugou grins, curling his fingers once more to send you hurtling off of the edge. he can’t stop thinking about how soaked your little lace panties must be, about all the things he’s going to do with them once he gets them off of you.
“cum.” your pussy follows his orders for you, white flashing behind your eyes as a scream rips in your throat and shoots out into the quiet night. the knot in your stomach snaps, release splashing out against bakugou’s hand and hero suit— he makes you cum so hard you almost black out, a twitching mess in the hero’s arms.
when you finally come to, bakugou’s slurping your nectar off of his fingers, head cocked to the side as you shakily look up at him. “i, uh...t-thank you!” you breathe, blinking away the buzzing noise in the back of your head. “for...uh...”
you’re so cute, flushed with heat and slick dripping from between your legs. you obviously think that was a one time thing, but bakugou hasn’t finished cashing in his reward. the hero shakes his head, using a thumb and forefinger to tilt your own up to meet his ruby gaze. “give me your phone and take off your panties.” he orders, voice authoritative and never wavering— you’re confused, but don’t question him, just as a good girl should.
rooting around in your now discarded purse, you pull out and unlock your going for katsuki, who busies himself with your contacts. embarrassment crawls up your spine when you reach for your underwear, still wet with your arousal and release, you look to bakugou hesitantly. “do i have to—?”
“off.” he grunts, barely looking up from your device as you shimmy out of the lace garment and hand it to him. bakugou gives you the same evil smirk from earlier while you collect yourself against the door, sniffing the flimsily, wet material before shoving them into the pocket of his pants. his cock is hard as a fucking rock, but he’ll be able to deal with it appropriately after his patrol. “i’ll be keeping these. this is where we say g’night sweet stuff.”
the way you curl in on yourself, perhaps a bit humiliated at the idea of your panties being taken by the number two pro hero is adorable, and if he didn’t have patrol, katsuki would have eaten you up right then and there. “goodnight dynamight— i mean, k-katsuki, thank you for everything and h-have a safe night.” you squeak out quickly, moving to open the door again.
“not a problem, honey,” bakugou whispers with a lowered voice, pulling you in to swipe his tongue across your bottom lip, shoving his tongue down your throat in a kiss goodnight. “now get your cute ass upstairs, don’ want anyone to see your leaky cunt like this. that’s fuckin’ mine.”
you do as you’re told, bidding the hero one last farewell before dashing up the steps and into your apartment. your heart and mind race a thousand miles a minute, crazed with the fact that you had just been fingered to the best fucking orgasm of your life by the number two pro hero. you have to force yourself to shower, mapping out all of the spots that bakugou had touched you and growing giddy at the small burn marks he’d left against the inner workings of your thighs.
that night, or rather, early morning— you settle into the sheets, mind still plagued with thoughts of katsuki bakugou, when your phone pings with a text.
to: yn.
from: unknown.
— never got your name sweet stuff, care to tell me who’s name i’ll be moaning tonight?
( one attachment ).
your heartbeat thunders in your ears, familiar warm pooling between your legs yet again as you open the image— knowing that there can be only one person that it’s from. a quiet moan slips past your lips as the picture loads to reveal bakugou in your very same black lace panties from earlier— the slick from your release pressed up against his barely covered cock, while he jerks himself off, precum oozing from his blistering red tip.
you exhale, typing back your name and hitting send— thanking whatever higher power that lead katsuki bakugou to steal your fucking panties.
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bowbowis · 1 year ago
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Congratulations! You've read the text!
And you clearly haven't read a word I said, or at least you've so failed to comprehend it that you may as well not have.
Humans sought power and decided to chop up more Nabateans for that power!
Again we see your inability to distinguish between distinct concepts. Nemesis and the Ten Elites sought power and butchered Nabateans, Kusakihara is pretty clearly talking about them specifically, not humans in general. Whether that was always Nemesis's goal from the start is less clear, as the statement in the interview seems to suggest that the lust for power only came after they had started gaining it.
You seem to think you've won some sort of concession from me on this. You haven't. this is the exact same stance I took in my very first reply to you on this subject, where I said: "Whether Nemesis himself ever had any noble intentions, or if he was always a power-hungry bastard who just had good PR is hard to say." If you'd been paying attention, you'd know that.
There was no "we are breaking free of big bad evil rulers," but instead "hehe power go brrr."
Wasn't there? Regardless of what motivated Nemesis himself, the fact that the people regarded him as a heroic "King of Liberation", the fact that Wilhelm's secret history presents him as fighting for mankind to have a human ruler, and that official Church history presents his fight against the Nabateans as a battle against "wicked gods" all point to Nabatean rulers not being well regarded by their subjects.
Engage puts him on par with other big bads like Loptous (who did child hunts) lmao.
Also with antagonists who were not always pure evil: like Duma, and Idunn, and Anankos. What's your point that Nemesis ended up a bad guy? Yeah, nobody is denying that. Some simply posit that he wasn't always that.
The Nabateans AND the Agarthans both fucking hate him.
Ah yes, Nabateans and Agarthans, two totally trustworthy sources with absolutely no biases that might color their perception of humans in general or Nemesis in particular./s
Nobody likes him and y'all are trying to make his actions justifiable when the game hasn't tried to do that at ANY point.
Who is actually saying that Nemesis was justified in committing genocide? Not simply suggesting that Nabatean-run society may have been less than utopian or that Nemesis may have been more than a moustache twirling villain, but actually saying that his wholesale slaughter of a group of people was okay? More importantly, who has done so without rebuke? If you're going to accuse us all of being genocide apologists, you should at least be able to demonstrate that we, as a group, endorse genocide. Otherwise I recommend you lay off this talking point.
I think it's a bit odd to speak about genocide when our definition doesn't even strench that far. Like, did the Nabattean got massacred by Nemesis and TWSITD? Yes, there is no denying that point. But Edelgard war? Pretty sure it's to reform the class system and allow more opportunity to the commoner/have capable people in power instead of people that got their position because of their birth sprinkled with some Church/State separation. Rhea being an endangered dragon species seem more incidental than anything. On top of that, in Hopes, wasn't Edelgard the one just want Rhea to lose her political power as opposed to Claude wanting to kill her? Was it just me? Sorry, if that's the case, I got my version at a garage sale.
Man I really wish you would keep asking silly questions instead of this :/
My biggest complaint is about how people in the Edelgard Discord (the mod in particular) try to justify the Nabatean genocide done by the Agarthans/Nemesis. You agree it was fucked, but many others in the server (including one of the mods) will say it was totally okay.
Where does Edelgard even come in? The most I've talked about her is when I tag "edelgard discourse," or when an anon talks about her.
I speculate people defend the Agarthans because Edelgard works with the Agarthans, and she cannot look bad by assocation, so the Agarthans are made to look good so she's morally right in every way. That's speculation, and it has nothing to do with Edelgard's character or motives.
My complaint isn't with people trying to defend Edelgard. It's with people trying to defend the goddamn Agarthan/Nemesis's genocide against the Nabateans and calling it fucking justified because the Nabateans are "Invasive species" who were "colonizers" who "totally deserved it."
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fannish-karmiya · 3 years ago
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Is Wei Wuxian's Cultivation Actually Harmful to Him?
Throughout Wei Wuxian’s first life, he frequently argues with Lan Wangji over his cultivation. Lan Wangji believes that his cultivation will harm him and eventually destroy him, while Wei Wuxian insists that he has everything under control. Many readers take Lan Wangji’s warnings at face value, leading to the common fandom perception that demonic cultivation (more accurately, the ghost path) is inherently harmful to Wei Wuxian and that he should indeed give it up.
But does the text actually back that up, when we examine Wei Wuxian’s use of his cultivation? While Wei Wuxian does experience a few losses of control, I would argue that they are far more due to circumstances than anything else, and not a sign that the cultivating with resentful energy is inherently harmful to a cultivator’s body or that loss of control is an inevitable conclusion.
Preconceptions
Lan Wangji is the character who most often tries to tell Wei Wuxian that his cultivation is harmful. Immediately when Wei Wuxian returns from the Burial Mounds and meets Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji again while torturing Wen Chao, Lan Wangji expresses concern:
One against two, Lan WangJi still refused to back off. He gazed at Wei WuXian, “Wei Ying, for cultivating an evil path you would eventually have to pay. Throughout time, there has not been a single exception.”
Wei WuXian, “I can pay.”
Seeing how unconcerned he seemed to be, Lan WangJi lowered his voice, “The path would not only damage your body, but your heart as well.”
(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)
Now, Wei Wuxian’s path (guidao, the ghost path) is brand new. He invented it, being the first person to ever successfully cultivate using yuanqi, or the resentful energy of dead humans. So why does Lan Wangji speak so assuredly of the harm it can cause?
The term ‘cultivating an evil path’ is telling. Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is a new path, but there are other dark paths of cultivation which exist. The Nie sect’s sabres are an example; they absorb the killing intent and evil energy of the yao and guai they kill, and over time their sabres become more and more powerful but also lead the wielder closer and closer to an inevitable qi deviation.
Of course, Lan Wangji is not aware of the Nie sect’s technique, which is a strictly kept secret, at this point. Nie Mingjue only seems to have told Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao because they were his sworn brothers. But there are surely other paths like this which are publicly known.
We know about other dark rituals which are not part of Wei Wuxian’s ghost path, after all, and ‘backlash’ is a frequent risk, either due to making the user vulnerable or failing to fulfil the contract one agreed to.
The body sacrificing ritual which Mo Xuanyu uses, for example, will cause backlash if you fail to keep up your end of the deal.
It was an ancient, forbidden technique. Compared to an array, it resembled a curse more. The caster of the array injures themselves by creating incisions on their body, and draws the array and writes the incantations using their own blood, finishing by sitting in the center of the array. They can then summon an extremely villainous ghoul and ask for it to complete their wish. The price to pay was to offer their body to the evil spirit, with their own soul returning back to Earth.
This was the forbidden technique opposite to stealing another’s body—offering one’s body.
[...]
The difficult part was that, as soon as the evil spirit has taken over the body of the caster, the contract is sealed by default. The evil spirit must grant their wish, or else the curse will cause a backlash. The spirit in possession of the body will be completely annihilated, never to be born again!
(Chapter 2, Exiled Rebels translation)
Interestingly, the harm here is to the ‘evil spirit’ if they fail to keep up their end of the contract. Well, also the caster who gives up his or her life in exchange. At any rate, this sort of thing seems to be a frequent risk of dark cultivation techniques. The paperman technique is also quite risky:
The good thing was that Wei WuXian had once learnt a certain technique of the dark arts—the paper metamorphosis.
Although it was indeed useful, it had a number of restrictions as well. Not only was the time strictly limited, the paperman must also return as it were, after it had been released. There mustn’t even be a single scratch on it. If, on its way, it was torn apart or broken in any way, the soul would receive the same degree of harm—from a year of unconsciousness to a whole lifetime of lunacy. Thus, one must be extremely careful.
(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)
This seems to be a frequent concern with any dark technique, which probably is what led Lan Wangji to believe that Wei Wuxian’s new path would be similarly dangerous. It’s also very worth noting that he grew up in Gusu Lan, which is known for being even more judgmental towards dark cultivation than other sects.
He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.”
Jiang Cheng stared at Lan WangJi, cautious, “Second Young Master Lan, all of us understand the Lan Sect’s ways.
[...]
Wei WuXian had been angered as well, “Lan WangJi! Do you really have to make this difficult at such a point in time? You want me to go to the Cloud Recesses for the GusuLan Sect’s confinement punishment? Who do you think you are, what do you think the GusuLan Sect is?! You really think that I won’t resist?!”
(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)
While many people speak negatively of Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, Lan Qiren is particularly virulent when Wei Wuxian first proposes the theory as a teen:
Everyone in the room was stunned. Lan QiRen sprang to his feet, “The essence of exorcising demons and annihilating ghosts is to liberate! You do not study the methods of liberation, and even think about increasing their energy of resentment! You reverse the natural order, and ignore ethics and morality!”
[...]
Another book came flying from Lan QiRen. He spoke harshly, “Then, let me ask you again! How do you make sure that the resentful energy only listens to you and does not harm others?”
Wei WuXian ducked while speaking, “I haven’t thought of it yet!”
Lan QiRen raged, “If you thought of it, the cultivation world would not allow your existence! Get out!”
(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)
Due to their father’s seclusion and their mother’s imprisonment, Lan Wangji and his brother were raised by Lan Qiren. With his uncle having such a black and white view of such matters, it’s understandable that Lan Wangji would absorb that and struggle to reconcile the Wei Wuxian he knows and loves with the man who is cultivating an ‘evil’ path.
With his own sect and family so negatively inclined towards Wei Wuxian’s cultivation, I think Lan Wangji was primed to see every behaviour of Wei Wuxian’s through this lens. Similarly, the audience hears the younger Lan Wangji repeat these warnings so many times that I think many readers wind up believing him, too.
Confirmation Bias
However, I think much of this is actually a case of confirmation bias. Lan Wangji is predisposed to see Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as harmful, and is actively looking for signs that it is; he winds up correlating all sorts of things to Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as a result.
He does so when he visits Wei Wuxian in Yunmeng:
Lan WangJi, “Last time, during the hunt on Phoenix Mountain, have you noticed certain signs?”
Wei WuXian, “What signs?”
Lan WangJi, “The loss of control.”
Wei WuXian, “You mean me almost getting into a fight with Jin ZiXuan? I think you got something wrong. I want to fight with Jin ZiXuan whenever I see him.”
(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)
Which is true! Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan just do not get on at all. And if we go back to Phoenix Mountain, it’s clear that this was a perfectly ordinary fight:
However, Jiang YanLi didn’t turn around. Jin ZiXuan was even more enraged. He caught up to her in just three strides and was about to grab her hand when a shadow suddenly flashed before his eyes. Before he could see who it was, he received a blow on his chest. Jin ZiXuan swung his sword across and backed away.
When he finally could see, he raged, “Wei WuXian, why is it you again?!”
Wei WuXian blocked Jiang YanLi behind him, raging as well, “I haven’t fucking said it yet—why is it you again?!”
Jin ZiXuan, “Attacking because of nothing have you gone mad?!”
Wei WuXian struck with his palm, “That’s exactly what I’m doing! What do you mean because of nothing? What are you doing trying to grab my shijie just because of how ashamed you are?!”
Jin ZiXuan dodged to the side and returned to him a sword attack, “If I don’t grab her should I let her walk randomly around the mountain alone?!”
(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)
Jin Zixuan is described as being ‘enraged’ and tries to grab Jiang Yanli. He’s clearly being very hotheaded here himself. What brother wouldn’t be enraged after this, especially given Jin Zixuan’s pattern of speaking of Jiang Yanli derisively?
Earlier, Lan Wangji had forcibly kissed Wei Wuxian while he was blindfolded, and yet he didn’t display any loss of control or temper problems then.
(I also think this ties into how people tend to judge Wei Wuxian more harshly due to his lower social class; he’s often no more brash and arrogant than his peers, but because he’s the son of a servant only he is judged for it. Look at Jin Zixuan pulling his sword on a man who no longer carries a sword! He isn’t criticised for that. But I digress.)
Lan Wangji also believes that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is doing him spiritual harm, using evidence such as Wei Wuxian’s unwillingness to carry his sword or receive spiritual energy to help him heal:
Suddenly, he felt an itch at his throat. Blood began to rise up his chest. Trying to restrain it, Wei WuXian coughed a couple of times. Seeing that Lan WangJi was going to grab his hand again, Wei WuXian dodged, “What are you doing?”
Lan WangJi, “Your injuries.”
Wei WuXian, “No need. Why use spiritual energy for such a small wound? It’ll get better after some sitting around.”
Lan WangJi didn’t waste any words with him, grabbing for his hand again. At this point, two people came from outside of the cave. Wen Qing’s voice sounded, “Get better after some sitting around? Did you think I’m dead?”
(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)
He observes this back when he visited the Burial Mounds in the day, and many years later tells Wen Ning that this was the conclusion he drew:
Wen Ning turned around. He couldn’t help but ask, “Young Master Lan, you don’t seem too surprised about this. Did you… Did you know about this as well?”
“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”
But to think this was the truth.
(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)
Working with incomplete information (since he doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian has no golden core, he instead assumes that he is being harmed spiritually by his cultivation) and a pre-existing bias against demonic cultivation, Lan Wangji viewed Wei Wuxian as someone who was bound to lose control at some point, and everything became evidence to prove what he already believed.
Loss of Control
However, I think it’s arguable that the instances where Wei Wuxian loses control are not an inevitability of his cultivation path. Instead, they occur in extremely dangerous combat situations where Wei Wuxian has no allies and is being besieged by hundreds or thousands of enemies.
I want to go over three instances where things go sideways for Wei Wuxian with his cultivation in his first life: Wen Ning’s awakening, the ambush at Qiongqi Path, and the battle at Nightless City.
Now, I wouldn’t even describe Wen Ning’s revival as a loss of control. Wei Wuxian had spent months trying to revive Wen Ning, and in the end he wound up waking up while Wei Wuxian was down in Yiling, not at the Burial Mounds to keep the situation under control. It’s like an unwatched pot boiling over.
Wei WuXian, “Didn’t I say not to touch the talismans on him?!”
Wen Qing didn’t even have the spare seconds to be surprised that Lan WangJi was here. She answered, “Nobody touched them! Not a single person went into the Cave! He tore them off on his own when he suddenly went on a rampage. Not only the ones on himself, he destroyed the restriction seals at the blood pool and the Cave as well! All of the fierce corpses in the blood pool got out. Wei WuXian, go save Granny and the others. They won’t be able to hold up much longer!!!”
(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)
Honestly, it’s hard to know based on this what caused Wen Ning to wake up or to return to consciousness. My suspicion is that Wei Wuxian’s efforts had worked, and he woke up with a lot of excess resentful energy he needed to work off; hence going to beat up all the other fierce corpses in the Blood Pool.
After this, Wei Wuxian takes measures to ensure that Wen Ning doesn’t lose consciousness again. For the next year until the ambush at Qiongqi Path, there are absolutely no incidents, and Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian go on night hunts together frequently.
Things only go wrong during the ambush.
Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “You’re seeking your own death!”
As he finished, Wen Ning raised his hand and tore off the red string that hung a talisman at his neck.
After the string snapped, his body wavered, and the muscles on his face began to twist. Marks that resembled black cracks crawled up his neck to his cheeks. He suddenly lifted his head, letting out a long, inhuman roar!
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
So Wen Ning wears a talisman which presumably suppresses his resentful energy, and which he must remove in order to fight at full strength. After Jin Zixuan shows up and completely fails to de-escalate the situation at all, Wen Ning kills him:
Wei WuXian was suppressing a blazing flame of hatred. His voice was cold, “Jin ZiXuan, move away right now. I won’t touch you, but you’re not going to provoke me either.”
Seeing that he still refused to yield, Jin ZiXuan suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to hold him down, “Why can’t you just back off for once?! A-Li is still…”
Just as he reached toward Wei WuXian, he heard a strange, heavy noise.
The noise was almost a bit too near. Jin ZiXuan paused in surprise. He looked down and finally saw the hand that pierced his chest.
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
It’s pretty clear that Wen Ning saw Jin Zixuan lunging towards Wei Wuxian and interpreted him as a threat. As objective observers, we can see that this is actually quite understandable, if tragic, and realistically could have happened similarly in a mundane setting with no magic. But Wei Wuxian of course would start to feel doubt when something so terrible happens:
He was clearly controlling Wen Ning properly.
Even though he activated Wen Ning’s rampage mode, he should still be able to control him.
He’d clearly always been able to control him perfectly.
He didn’t want to kill Jin ZiXuan at all.
He never had the intention to kill Jin ZiXuan at all! It was just that moment. He didn’t know why, but all of a sudden he wasn’t able to control it… He had suddenly lost control!
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
Wei Wuxian had always been able to control Wen Ning perfectly before. Honestly, it’s not a surprise that his control was looser in a situation like this; he’s in the midst of an ambush where 300 people are trying to kill him! Realistically, Jin Zixuan bears some responsibility in his own death, too. When you’re trying to negotiate a ceasefire, you don’t fail to give the target of the attack any assurance of his safety and then lunge for him threateningly! Of course Wen Ning saw him as a threat and acted to defend Wei Wuxian.
Later, Wei Wuxian observes that during his ‘rampage’ state, Wen Ning draws his guidance from Wei Wuxian’s impressions of people:
Listening to him stutter as he apologized over and over again, all of a sudden, Wei WuXian felt extremely ridiculous.
It wasn’t Wen Ning’s fault at all.
It was his own fault.
When on a rampage, Wen Ning was nothing more than a weapon. The person who created the weapon was him. The things it listens to were his orders as well.
At that time, with all the tension and the killing intent on top of how Wei WuXian had never hesitated to show enmity toward Jin ZiXuan in front of Wen Ning, when he was unconscious, Wen Ning recognized Jin ZiXuan as an ‘enemy’ when he attacked, carrying out the order of ‘exterminate’ without a second thought.
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
I actually think that if Wen Ning had killed, say, Jin Zixun, Wei Wuxian would simply have seen it as a case of self-defence and accepted it as that. It’s the fact that Jin Zixuan is the husband of his foster sister (and the one person there he didn’t actually want dead) which turns this into such a tragedy.
The intensely stressful situation in the aftermath of Jin Zixuan’s death is the only time we ever see Wei Wuxian express doubt in his own abilities or regret choosing the ghost path:
With the child’s cries coming to his ears from afar and the scared siblings who were at a complete loss as to what to do in his eyes, Wei WuXian felt his heart sink lower into darkness. He asked himself, Just why have I been locking myself up on Burial Mound all these years? Why do I have to go through all this? Why did I choose to walk this path in the beginning? Why did I make myself like this? What do others see me as? Just what have I gained? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad?!
If only he didn’t choose this path in the beginning.
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
I think that during this period, Wei Wuxian was under an immense amount of stress. He was the sole protector of 50 people who the world wanted dead, and he had to be strong and confident for them at all times. Only during his initial panic after Jin Zixuan’s death does that confident front break down and show us just how much the stress must have been wearing on him:
As he thought and thought about it, Wei WuXian suddenly broke into tears.
His voice was submerged in a deep helplessness, “… Can someone tell me… what I’m supposed to do now?”
(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)
I honestly think that if Wei Wuxian had had someone to lean on and share responsibility with during this time, it would have helped him so much.
In the past, there were only others who asked him what to do. Now, though, he was the one asking others what he should do, and nobody was able to give him an answer.
[...]
Wei WuXian raged, “You can shut the fuck up! It’s already pandemonium the way things are right now! You two can stop adding more trouble onto my platter. Give yourselves in my ass. Did I tell you to do this? Take it out!”
(Chapter 77, Exiled Rebels translation)
Later on, at Nightless City, Wei Wuxian’s loss of control is directly tied by the narrator to his worsening mental state:
The more Wei WuXian panicked, the less control he had. The corpse ignored his command and instead lifted the sword in its hand, slashing it down at Jiang YanLi!
Wei WuXian had lost it, dashing as he shouted, “Stop it, stop it, right now, stop it!”
(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)
He manages to calm himself down and get back under control:
Jiang YanLi sighed, “A-Xian, you… you should stop first. Don’t, don’t…”
Wei WuXian hurried, “Yes, I’ll stop.”
He took up Chenqing, placed it by his lips, and began to play. He only managed to steady his mind with great effort. This time, the corpses finally stopped ignoring his commands. One after another, strange gurgles echoed in their throats as if they were complaining. Slowly, they bent down.
(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)
Only when Jiang Yanli is killed by a cultivator aiming for Wei Wuxian does he decide, in his grief and rage, to put the Yinhufu together again:
Yet, no matter the criticism, the blame, Wei WuXian could no longer hear any of them. As if governed by another soul, he reached out and took two objects from within his sleeves. Before everyone’s eyes, he put them together. One half on top and the other below, the two objects snapped into one, letting out a resonating clang.
Wei WuXian placed it on his palm and raised it high into the air.
It was the Stygian Tiger Seal!
(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)
We know that after the Bloodbath of Nightless City, as this battle comes to be known, Lan Wangji takes Wei Wuxian back to Yiling. However, Wei Wuxian is in a very poor mental state (most likely due to stress, exhaustion, and trauma), and only regains awareness a few days later at the Burial Mounds.
This is when he decides that the Yinhufu is a weapon which he should never have created, and determines to destroy it.
After using it for the second time, he finally decided to destroy one half of the seal. Before he could completely destroy the other half, the siege at Luanzang Hill happened, and it had since then been beyond his capabilities.
(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)
So Wei Wuxian was actually able to successfully destroy one half of the seal, and start work on the second, in the three months between Nightless City and the First Siege.
Toward his own creation, Wei WuXian was confident to say that even if the sect that got hold of it, made a temple for it, and offered it incense every single day, the remaining half of the Tiger Seal was just a piece of scrap iron. However, Lan WangJi told him something shocking��it appeared that Xue Yang could rebuild the other half of the seal!
Although Xue Yang was young, he was also quite clever, a bizarre eccentric. The LanlingJin Sect discovered that he could use the remaining half of the seal to roughly piece together the other half. Even though the recreated version wasn’t as powerful and couldn’t be used for as long, it could already result in terrible catastrophes.
(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)
I gather that the first half, he completely neutralised. The second half had not been fully drained of power when the First Siege happened. We never see the First Siege, but I think we can hazard a guess that once the Wens were massacred, Wei Wuxian knew that it was all over, and decided to destroy the second half of the Yinhufu so that no one there could get their hands on it. It is likely the backlash from improperly destroying/neutralising the Yinhufu which led to his corpses turning on him and ripping him apart.
Wei Wuxian does confirm that some sort of backlash killed him:
Wen Ning whispered, “Sect Leader Jiang, Jiang Cheng, brought a siege upon the Burial Mounds. And he killed you.”
Wei WuXian, “I’ll have to clarify this one. He didn’t kill me. I died from a backfire.”
(Chapter 43, Exiled Rebels translation)
“That’s merely hearsay. Although Jiang Cheng was one of the main forces, he did not give Wei WuXian the final blow. Because he cultivates the Demon Path, Wei WuXian’s powers had backfired and he was ripped to pieces.”
“Hahahaha… That’s karma! The ghost soldiers that he created are like unleashed dogs, biting everyone that they come across. It serves him right to be chewed to death!”
(Chapter 1, Exiled Rebels translation)
While the vast majority of information in the prologue is revealed later to be lies, Wei Wuxian does confirm this. Strictly, the ‘ghost soldiers’ were probably his fierce corpses. ‘Ghost’ or ‘Gui’ is used in Modao Zushi’s magic system as a catch-all phrase for dead humans, whether they’re actual ghosts (incorporeal spirits) or reanimated corpses. We know that Wei Wuxian was using huge numbers of fierce corpses to act as guards at the entrance to the Burial Mounds and protect the Wens, after all.
Wei Wuxian’s Second Life
So the risk of backlash is confirmed as a threat when using guidao and other dark cultivation techniques. However, it seems that they either have a clear contract which has to be fulfilled (like in the body sacrifice ritual), or a clearly defined risk which can be mitigated or prevented entirely through careful use.
It’s notable that Wei Wuxian is in control of his cultivation far more often than not, and in his second life we see absolutely no losses of control from him. This is probably down to a few things, one of them being greater experience. He also is no longer working alone; Lan Wangji is nearly always at his side or very nearby, which removes the intense stress of trying to fight against the entire world alone.
Honestly, I can’t even pull up any instances of Wei Wuxian struggling to control his cultivation in his second life or being even mildly harmed by it; there are absolutely none. We only ever see him dealing with mundane exhaustion, stress, and physical injuries.
He recovers very quickly from performing Empathy with Nie Mingjue:
Hearing this, Wei WuXian instantly pulled himself out!
He was still the thin paperman, stuck to the helmet that sealed Nie MingJue’s head. He had tugged loose the knot that tied the iron shells over Nie MingJue’s eyes, revealing a bloodshot eye, opened wide with anger.
[...]
There wasn’t much time left. He must return to his corporal body immediately!
Paperman WuXian flapped his sleeves, flying out as though he were a butterfly.
[...]
A while later, once his soul had returned successfully, Wei WuXian immediately took a deep breath. He raised his head, opened his eyes, and suddenly stood up. Yet, having not expected his body to still be disoriented, he felt dizzy and leaned forward. Seeing this, Lan WangJi caught him in his arms. Wei WuXian lifted his head once more, and the top of his head collided with Lan WangJi’s chin. With a thud, both of them grunted in pain. Wei WuXian rubbed his head with one hand and felt Lan WangJi’s chin with the other, “Ugh! I’m sorry. Lan Zhan, you alright?”
His chin having been stroked a couple of times, Lan WangJi lightly took Wei WuXian’s hand away before shaking his head. Wei WuXian tugged him, “Let’s go!”
(Chapter 50, Exiled Rebels translation)
After this, he is stabbed by Jin Ling and winds up spending four days unconscious in Cloud Recesses. I’ve seen it suggested that his short bout of hallucinating after he wakes up is due to harm from his cultivation, but I firmly disagree. He’d been unconscious for four days after being stabbed!
He immediately let go, almost wanting to roll away. His movement was so large that it hurt the wound at his stomach. He exclaimed an ‘ah’ as he scrunched his brows, finally remembering that he was still injured. Amid the stars before his eyes, Jing Ling, Jiang Cheng, Jiang YanLi, Jiang FengMian, Madam Yu… Many faces spun around in a large circle.
[...]
Only having ensured that his injuries were indeed fine did Lan WangJi finally let him go, “Four days.”
Jin Ling’s sword stabbed right through. The wound hadn’t been shallow at all. How it healed within four days without even leaving a scar behind meant that high level medicine of the GusuLan Sect had to have been necessary. Wei WuXian thanked him, mocking himself along the way, “I’ve reincarnated but somehow I’ve become even weaker. I couldn’t keep going after just a single stab.”
(Chapter 63, Exiled Rebels translation)
After being a bit muddled upon first waking up, he’s fine. He was also dreaming about his past while unconscious, which is why he’s described as seeing all these faces ‘amid the stars before his eyes’. The flashbacks in Refinement and Poisons-Evil are both framed as Wei Wuxian sleeping and dreaming about the past, and he’s thinking about them as a result; he’s not portrayed as actually hallucinating and thinking they’re really there.
Wei Wuxian is very drained by the events of the Second Siege and faints twice afterwards. However, it’s worth noting that during the Second Siege, he didn’t really use resentful energy (he couldn’t, as all the corpses there were under the control of the Yinhufu); he used talismans, which only require a small amount of spiritual energy.
Wei Wuxian even specifically states that Mo Xuanyu’s body is very weak, refusing to use Suibian before the Second Siege:
He wore it by his waist and didn’t seem like he was going to use it. Seeing how Lan WangJi looked at him, he fiddled with his hair and explained, “I haven’t used a sword in so many years. I’m not used to it.” As he spoke, he sighed again, “Alright. The real reason is that my current body is low in spiritual energy. Even if there’s a high level sword, it won’t be able to make the best use of it. And so, it’ll be up to HanGuang-Jun to protect the delicate man that I am.”
(Chapter 68, Exiled Rebels translation)
Wei Wuxian collapses due to exhaustion on the boat ride to Lotus Pier:
OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior Wei collapse?”
Lan WangJi, “Fatigue.”
Lan JingYi was amazed, “I thought that Senior Wei would never get tired!”
(Chapter 84, Exiled Rebels translation)
He collapses again during the fight at the Jiang ancestral hall:
Lan WangJi, “Wei Ying?!” His low voice rang within Wei WuXian’s ears, echoing endlessly.
Wei WuXian was starting doubt if something happened to his ears, “What’s wrong?”
He felt something streak down his face, but reached up only to retrieve a handful of scarlet. Accompanied by throbs of dizziness, blood continued to drip down his nose and his mouth, onto the ground.
[...]
Having come to the conclusion that Wei WuXian was only in a temporary state of unconsciousness due to extreme fatigue and anger, Lan WangJi finally tore his gaze away.
(Chapter 88, Exiled Rebels translation)
When he wakes up in Chapter 90, he feels unwell but recovers fairly quickly:
For a long while, he couldn’t figure out what was happening. Only when he saw the splatters of blood on Lan WangJi’s left sleeve, like a string of plum blossoms resting on snow, did he finally recall what happened before he passed out from anger. His expression twisted at once as he suddenly sat upright. Lan WangJi went to help him, but the ringing in Wei WuXian’s ears hadn’t stopped yet.
[...]
Lan WangJi knew that he wasn’t feeling well. Silent, he didn’t ask anything. He lay one hand on his back, sending him a warm thread of spiritual energy.
[...]
Looking around, Wei WuXian suddenly exclaimed, “I’m hungry.”
Lan WangJi looked up. Of course, Wei WuXian wasn’t hungry at all. He had just eaten three pies at the vendor in front of Lotus Pier’s gates. Lan WangJi only ate one, however, and it was the only thing he’d eaten in the past two days. The matter was on Wei WuXian’s mind.
(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)
The narrative again directly links it to exhaustion, not to anything more ominous than that:
In the fight at Burial Mound, Wei WuXian exerted too much energy and stamina. Both his mind and his body were strained for too long. A few hours earlier, Jiang Cheng angered him so much that he almost bled from his qiqiao.
He only recovered after a long time of rest. Although he didn’t feel too bad right now, if there was something he missed and he pushed himself all the way to Lanling, it was hard to tell whether or not an accident would happen at a critical moment. On top of that, he wasn’t the only one straining his mind and body in the past few days. Lan WangJi didn’t rest for a second either.
(Chapter 91, Exiled Rebels translation)
As said, there simply isn’t any proof, based on Wei Wuxian’s second life, that his cultivation is doing him harm, nor does he ever lose control of it.
This definitely indicates to me that Wei Wuxian’s losses of control in his first life were related to the circumstances and not an inevitable risk of his cultivation path.
In Conclusion
I actually suspect that Lan Wangji himself came to the same conclusion; he only ever gently warns Wei Wuxian to be careful when using dark techniques during his second life:
Lan WangJi let the paperman wriggle on his ribbon for some time. Just as he reached out to take it down, the paperman slid its way down as fast as it could. No matter intentionally or not, it bumped its head once against his lips.
Lan WangJi’s movements paused for a moment. Using two of his fingers, he finally caught it, “Do not fool around.”
Softly, the paperman rolled its body over his slender finger.
Lan WangJi, “You must be careful.”
The paperman nodded and flapped its wings. Clinging flat onto the ground, it climbed through the door slit and snuck out of the guest room.
(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)
He still does have some level of distaste for Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, I would argue, due to the way he instantly latches onto the idea that Wei Wuxian would never have turned to the ghost path if not for his lost golden core:
“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”
But to think this was the truth.
Wen Ning, “If not because of this…”
If not because there really wasn’t a second path to walk on.
(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)
But the discussion of Wei Wuxian’s feelings on his cultivation is one for another day.
At any rate, I doubt that Lan Wangji is only holding back his feelings on the ghost path due to wanting to avoid any more fights with Wei Wuxian. After all, he spent 13 years mourning him. If he still believed that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation was going to eventually kill him, I doubt he would accept it so much more readily now.
I think the lesson he learnt, after looking back and thinking on the past a great deal, was indeed that Wei Wuxian would not have suffered such losses of control if he had had anyone to rely on in his past life. So now Lan Wangji always stands by his side and ensures that he will never reach such a state of desperation again.
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