#also the text is NOT clear that he is evil or that we should hate him

[thatswhatsushesaid]

“um, you are actually supposed to hate this character with your whole chest, the text is EXTREMELY clear that he is terrible and you should not like him”

well i like him anyway. what are you going to do about it, tell my mom?

[ennn]

I expect Billy is going to be an antagonist for a while and that's OK

Anti's for either Agatha or Billy are probably going to get more intense as I predict our boy Billy's gonna be antagonistic for a bit. And let's be clear, I'm not hating, or saying either are evil, or in the wrong.

That's way too simple a take for this show. In the words of showrunner Jac Schaeffer:

...we populated the show with similarly flawed individuals who are also selfish and self-serving, who are self-sabotaging, who are constantly standing in their own way. And then they were just in conflict.  Everybody is kind of an anti-hero in the show. That was really fun and felt very truthful there. 

No one here is meant to be a pure "good guy", which is I think kind of Billy's arc -- but more on that later.

And when I mean antagonist I'm talking about the characters roles in the story. An antagonist isn't necessarily a villain. Agatha is the show's protagonist as well as its main antagonist: as much as she claims she wants only power, deep down she wants a coven, a community, a family. But she is as Schaeffer puts it, "in the way of her own thing."

Billy being an antagonist simply means that his goals – or some of them at least – conflict with Agatha's. Rio has been described as a "romantic antagonist" as well because some of her goals are also in conflict.

Long text speculation post and mild promo spoilers under the cut:

Let's first get this out of the way: Why do I think Billy's going to take on an antagonist role? Aside from well, all the things that happened at the end of Episode 5, there's some clues Billy's not all who he's been saying he is:

There's a promotional video with audio lines, and you can hear Billy saying things like "Agatha Harkness can never be anything but a covenless witch" and "I do not trust you".

Billy claiming to be "obsessed" about Agatha and her biggest fan and going on the road for power should know that she is the world's most notorious witch-killer – why is he appalled about her killing and so against it? And if episode 5 is any indication, power is not what he's lacking.

Joe and Schaeffer have mentioned that Billy will be different in the back half of episodes.

A quick clip from a trailer has Agatha (covered in mud) telling Billy "Last one there is a nice person", implying that Billy at this point doesn't want to be nice. I assume, at this point, he wants Agatha to pay for her misdeeds. The yellow tint of the clip also matches with the current Road area they're on.

Now at this point I do not know if Billy was involved in what I believe is a fake trial in episode 5. I'm inclined to think it's the Salem Seven, and we get this truth of Billy as fallout. I believe he definitely didn't want Alice dead.

Now for reasons why I think it'll be okay–even interesting–to have these two in conflict and everyone should put away their pitchfolks:

They are going to come to an understanding

You know how in Hawkeye series Yelena wants to kill Barton because she blames him for Natasha's death? I think we'll get a broadly similar arc or vibe for Agatha and Billy here. And they will design it in a similarly emotionally satisfying manner.

Right now Billy's basically like everyone–including the rest of the coven–who believes that Agatha is truly what her reputation says. And that's not surprising! Agatha is masks and layers and theatrics and she's not opening up unless she absolutely has to.

It may take a few episodes but I expect we'll get that before the series end, with this sobering exchange we have from a trailer:

Why do you let them believe those things about you? Because the truth is too awful.

I don't think Billy will be the Big Bad simply because I expect at the end Agatha's going to have to choose between wanting her coven, her community of witches, and something else—power perhaps, or her son, and go back to her old ways.

And for that to happen Agatha will need to have formed enough bonds with her coven, including Billy, to make it a difficult choice.

Power, darkness, and anti-heroes

Look, Agatha is my babe and she definitely needs a win after all that awful that happened in episode 5, but if you think about it Billy being a lot like his mom is really interesting? More interesting than him just being a cute innocent fanboy.

Because if he is an anti-hero, with some darkness in him, it's an opportunity to explore some of the themes or ideas we touched on in Wandavision with Wanda and her power, and her sense of self.

Heroes don't torture people.

Agatha recognises the darkness in people, delights in it even: as touched on in interviews, it's one of the reasons why she saw herself as Detective Agnes in that spell, as an investigator exploring the darkest aspects of humanity. She's seen the worst in people, and knows how to play the villain.

For Billy to avoid making the same mistakes as his mom, he needs to understand not just his power, but his potential for darkness.

Power corrupts, and when you're born with that reality-warping level of power, it's dangerous. It's so tempting to make people do what you need them to. And it's a slippery slope once you start killing, even if it's for good reasons.

Agatha never wanted to kill her first coven, in that moment she only wanted to live. But she did, with a power she never asked for, that made it so easy to keep taking and taking.

It is kind of tragic given the circumstances that Agatha couldn't have been a mentor to Wanda at the end of Wandavision, given the events of Multiverse of Madness, because she made some valid points and they could have been a coven, given Agatha's deep-deep-buried desire for one.

And looking at all the mentor-kid pairings we've seen in the MCU so far (Parker and Stark, Clint and Bishop, Strange and Chavez, etc.), I don't think we've ever had this kind of dynamic.

Interesting power dynamics

I think Agatha is at her most interesting when she's on the back foot. As we've seen in episode one, she's not one to give up when physically outmatched, quite the opposite. She's a survivor, she's stubborn, and she's a performer.

Billy has been revealed to have the magical equivalent of a gun, and is capable of taking this entire coven hostage.

They're going to have to interact in new ways now. But now it's going to be more of a dance.

It's new danger, new complications, but also new ways to connect, and also the opportunity for a more honest relationship.

Knowledge, history, community

This point isn't specific only to Agatha and Billy but I'm reminded of Billy taking it out not just on Agatha but Lilia and Jen as well.

It's not surprising that Alice and Billy, the two youngest coven members are also the most idealistic and noble. The world has not been kind to witches over the centuries—Lilia's been chased out of villages for her visions, Jen has been attacked—and the older members of the group have done what they can to survive: How much can you blame them for being selfish in a cruel world?

Power isn't your problem, it's knowledge.

In this case I mean not just the knowledge of witchcraft, but lived experience as well.

Younger witches have to learn their community's history, and the older ones have to be challenged in their set ways of thinking, in how they've adapted, because they're not always good.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was an allegory to be made here to the queer community as well. Schaeffer has mentioned there is a large overlap between the history and persecution of witches and that of the LGBTQ community.

--

Good lord this post ran away from me. If you actually read all of that you do deserve a cookie.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Do you think Valentino from Hazbin is a sociopath?

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

I don't think he has an antisocial personality disorder. I can categorize him as a man with borderline personality disorder with antisocial tendencies (generally men with BPD are quite likely to exhibit APD traits).

Why do I interpret his behavior as BPD:

❤️ mood swings and incoherent personality. Like he's a completely different person with Vox and with Angel. Duh, even during his one scene with Vox his whole attitude did 180° in seconds.

❤️ hardcore abandonment issues. It makes him act out to get Vox's attention. And he hates Angel so much not because of pure sadism, but because he used to love him (well, at least he interpreted his feelings as love). As he became more and more toxic and after Angel finally tried to stand up for himself, Valentino felt so terribly rejected and betrayed that he immediately started hating him.

❤️ there's this thing called splitting and it means that people with BPD perceive others very binary, as either good or bad. There's nothing between love and hate and those emotions can change rapidly. So yeah imo he occasionally "loves" Angel and that's why he hasn't killed him yet but at the same time he proceeds to abuse him so terribly (I can't buy the "you make me money" excuse, no amount of money would matter if he really wanted to kill him. And I don't believe he keeps him alive just to torture him, Angel's behavior causes him too much stress. Like, he cares so much.).

❤️ Things common for men with BPD are substance abuse (overlord of drugs, duh), aggressive behaviors, and violent tendencies (I don't think I need to provide you with an example)

❤️ General high novelty seeking. It essentially means looking for stimuli to feel anything and just fill horrifying emotional emptiness (in the case of BPD; novelty-seeking is also a trait of perfectly healthy people that differs individually). I connect this novelty-seeking thing to him being an overlord of depravity, he loves perversion for the sake of perversion because everything extreme he does or witnesses makes him feel things again. And he bores very quickly so he has to constantly push boundaries further.

❤️ Autodestructive tendencies. We don't see them in the text, I just assume they are there. Again - drugs, unsafe sex, and (according to my headcanons) involvement in violent and irresponsible "BDSM" (I put it in a quotation because BDSM to be BDSM must be safe and based on informed consent, trust and good communication) which is essentially using Vox' sadism to inflict harm on himself. He rather do it using someone else's hands because he perceives this desire to self-harm as a weakness but at the same time, can't resist it.

Vox hc | Velvette hc | Vees + Angel hc

[rasolomonwrites]

My review of Nosferatu that no one asked for:

-It made my spirit soar to see real rats and what appeared to be practical effects. That's real filmmaking; the soul of classic horror.

-I get it that it's a dark movie but it should not literally be that fucking dark. Felt like I was sitting on a barrel in some shitty Greenpoint bar where a burger is $45 trying to peep vampire cock by the light of some free range anti-lamp.

-Lily-Rose Depp slayed. I know some people hate on her for being a nepo baby but if anyone knows the evil of rotting half-dead men torturing women it's literally her.

-For me, nothing can really touch the dreamlike atmosphere of the original silent film. While I can recognize that this is technically a much better film because of all the advancements over the last 100 years and that Eggers did a stunning job, I did not feel it in my pelvis.

-It was interesting to see a more sympathetic Johnathan Harker trope character who actually seems to be a realized person for the first time on film.

-They left out a lot of iconic moments from the other Nosferatu movies, like Orlock carrying his coffin or saying 'what a lovely throat' when he sees bae in the locket. No references to the children of the night either, which we see in many Dracula films.

- So many filmmakers use their power to abuse others. Eggers uses it to kick it with Willem Dafoe. 10/10 use of free will.

-I think this film suffers from making possible subtext blatant text. Part of what makes vampires alluring is the vagueness which allows viewers to project many things onto them. In this case, I think it being too clear what nosferatu represents and literally is kind of limits how much the viewer can play with the world.

-The costuming was bomb.

-I got tired of them making everybody put on fake English accents to be living in a German town. For what?

-As a bitch with occult interests I thought it was cool to see references to King Solomon and the demons listed by Crowley in The Key of Solomon.

-I also felt like giving nosferatu ties to solomonic magic as if to apply a logic to him was not necessary. In this movie they added many elements which I felt subtracted from the core of the story. Vampires are not creatures who really need any kind of logic, they are a tool we use to reflect ourselves.

-Considering the antisemitism tied into European vampire lore and some of the early vampire films, I thought it was an interesting choice to tie him up with Solomon, the Biblical King of Israel.

-What has stayed with me most is the conversation I saw around the film as a representation of childhood sexual abuse and general trauma. How it casts a shadow over the rest of your life and everyone around you acts like you are an inconvenience or insane for being shaped by that forever.

How it can make you feel permanently damaged and like a deadly poison to everything you touch. How no one will listen to you about what happened or what you need to heal.

How even if you confront that pain there is no guarantee that it won't eat you alive anyway.

[fantasyinvader]

The Disquiet event in Flower, think about what that title means. As a noun it means that a feeling of worried or anxiety, that the characters Byleth and Hubert are feeling those things about what happens next, or as a verb it means to make someone feel those things. In that scene, Hubert ends up revealing that the experiments, murder of Edelgard’s siblings and making controlling Edelgard’s father was done by the group that Solon and Kronya belonged to, led by Arundel and which Hubert which will later call Those Who Slither in the Dark. It’s made clear that Edelgard is aligned with said group, who also killed Jeralt.

If we take Disquiet as a verb, it means Byleth feels uneasy. But as a player, this scene should also cause them to pause. To unlock this route, the player needed to see Edelgard’s C+ support, where she says the experiments, murders and controlling her father was done by Aegir and the nobility supported by the Church and it’s system if the player asks her who was responsible. Hubert says that Edelgard must have already told you what he just did, so it’s calling attention to her words there. Likewise the window of availability for the support conversation ends the month following Edelgard, as the Flame Emperor, conversing with Thales where she says he was responsible for what happened in Enbarr and Duscur, which Thales says was to give her power so she could purge the surface of beasts and bring salvation to Agartha. Edelgard identifies Thales as the perpetrator and is told his reasons for doing so, but there’s still time for her to tell Byleth it was Aegir and the nobility trying to make a strong emperor to rule Fodlan.

The idea that Edelgard learning about Thales being behind it only recently after the C+ support happens is shot down.

But then later in the route, Edelgard tells Byleth the supposed secret history passed down from emperor to emperor. The stuff that tells her Rhea is the bad guy. But at this point, Hubert has already confirmed that Ionius was an Agarthan puppet and that they really don’t like Rhea and the Church.

At this same time, the player is fighting the Alliance who declared neutrality in the war. Edelgard still invades their country, has the player kill Judith before she can retreat, and then she reveals that despite all her anti-nobility statements the only nobility she’s getting rid of are the ones who oppose her. The pro-empire faction get to keep their positions, and she had already promised Caspar’s father control over the Alliance as reward for his support. If you go back to White Clouds, Caspar commented on them meeting up as they hated each other. Edelgard in the end is also very keen on killing Claude, while if unrecruited Leonie will question if you even know what you are doing.

Then there’s Arianrhod, where Edelgard lies to her army about her real target in order to take the enemy by surprise. When TWSITD retaliate against her, wiping out a third of her army, she blames it on the Church. Hell, the scene that follows the battle has Arundel talking about how Edelgard misled her own allies, asking if killing Cornelia was her real goal. If Byleth says yes, while the player gets support points with Edelgard, she tries to excuse it as a joke. In the Japanese text, this is after Cornelia realized that TWSITD were being controlled by Edelgard. The scene ends with Hubert and Edelgard agreeing that now is the time to control information. Edelgard then proceeds to lie to her army.

The Chapter is fittingly titled Lady of Deceit, referring to Edelgard.

The following chapter, Dimitri will call out Edelgard’s path. The Japanese text he uses, referring to it as the Animal path, tells the player he’s calling Edelgard’s path evil. The Animal Path is one of the four evil paths of Buddhism, tied to ignorance and servitude. Byleth’s personal class in Japan is Nirvana, the path of enlightenment and liberation from the cycle of reincarnation. Edelgard and Byleth’s paths should be opposites, but instead Byleth has chosen to serve Edelgard and follow her down the Animal Path. It’s also worth noting that when Byleth joined Edelgard, the event was titled as Path of Thorns indicating what Byleth was doing was sinful as they were neglecting their duties by not opposing her. This wasn’t a character calling her path that, it was the game, and as a result of going down this path at it’s conclusion Byleth loses access to Nirvana as Sothis is implied to undo the fusion with them in response to killing Rhea.

The devs have also confirmed the worldbuilding was done to support Silver Snow’s story, in this context it’s the path of Enlightenment for Byleth and the Black Eagles. Hell, it’s the default option Byleth goes for if they don’t meet the conditions to unlock Flower, which includes Edelgard lying to them in her C+ support, and the game itself frames the act as “Changing the Story.” Byleth, someone presented as an Enlightened One akin to the Buddha, their path will lead to them fighting Edelgard unless the player opts not to, which is called a path of sin by the game itself.

And of course, there’s Edelgard saying in private that Rhea needs to be obliterated only in the next scene offer her a chance to surrender. Her S support, in Japan, has Edelgard mention that her path has been hadou but she says that now she’ll walk a path together with Byleth. Edelgard just confirmed she was not a benevolent ruler up until that point, but the thing is Edelgard still doesn’t stop. Hadou is a ruler who imposes their will upon their people, asserting their power and authority to do so. This is exactly what Edelgard does in the ending after consolidating power on herself. She’s still referred to as a hegemon by Byleth’s end title, while the official story the Empire presents is that Byleth lost their power not through Sothis abandoning them (as Edelgard takes control of the Church) but due to an injury. And of course, the whole “Edelgard created a free and independent society” argument is shot in the foot when Hubert’s endings reveal his forces spy on the population and put down rebellions in the shadows, or how Constance/Byleth reveals that the empire took control of Agartha’s magic and technolgies and used them to maintain peace.

(sighs)

While some endings and lines of dialogue are optional, they can still happen. They’re still effectively reflecting on the canon of Edelgard’s rule. While the English text removed some of the symbolism and changed lines, such as Cornelia instead saying Edelgard is dancing to TWSITD’s tune, the game is still portraying her bloody path as one of sin. They couldn’t change everything. And as it stands, there’s still all the lines floating around the game that conflict or discredit Edelgard, even within her own route. Her own route makes it clear she’s lying and manipulating others for her own benefit, exerting information control to paint herself as the good guy. And of course, this led to her portrayal in Scarlet Blaze.

Houses wasn’t that subtle about it. Byleth stops being the Enlightened One for crying out loud. Really it shows how people were ignoring the story when they played the route and how eager they were to do mental gymnastics to try and defend Edelgard. Edelgard should have served as a warning to players, but they ignored the red flags and continue to parrot her misinformation. Hell, they spread their own misinformation to support her.

In ignorance Edelgard is a hero, with knowledge a villain. People have been saying things to this effect since launch.

[vesperpharsalius]

re (again): "Pierce Brown cannot just write things like that and expect me to ever forget it. #I quote this all the time and I think it’s lost on most people#they have forgotten the sacred texts"

How could I EVER forget that moment when right immediately after Cassius goes "Mustang is so sexy and evil she reminds me of my mother" and Darrow is like wtf man???

Which basically just opens up the door to Cassius' scrumptilicious mommy issues.

(Also, Darrow? Get 👏 on 👏 with the 👏 freak 👏 program👏)

Hello (again) and sorry it took me so long to get back to this. Believe me, I wish I had more time to talk about Cassius’ mommy issues, but I’ve been terribly busy lately and there’s quite a few asks rotting in my inbox. Bear with me.

For sure, we don’t talk enough about this, either. It’s already criminal that people in the fandom rarely acknowledge the fact that Cassius almost certainly pursued Mustang because of her relationship with Darrow and perhaps primarily because of it, but the fact that we also never appeared to process that he explicitly compared her to his evil and sexy mother?

Outrageous. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

You know, I haven’t re–read Light Bringer in a while and never that critically, so I might be off–target here, but now that we’ve actually seen Julia up close and personal, I do sincerely see similarities between her and Mustang.

Ideologically, they might be oil and water, but when it comes to their appearance and general demeanor (which, in Cassius’ defense, is likely what he meant to convey in that scene, rather than anything incestual; ironically enough, it’s likely just Darrow’s mind that’s in the gutter) as well as several aspects of their nature, there is a resemblance. 

Derisiveness that’s carved into their literal faces, of course, but also an affinity for political machination, selfishness to the point of ruthlessness, entitlement and rather insufferable imperiousness, illusion of delicacy and possession of disarming beauty, cunning. Perhaps the greatest distinction between them is that Julia is clearly some flavor of sadistic when Mustang seems to be more innocently hypocritical, but this is a difference of motivation; the effect is the same.

I talk more about Cassius’ twisted relationship with Mustang here in a way that’s difficult to summarize—it’s a convoluted piece—and I have another ask that’s more specifically about Casstang where I’ll go into deeper detail, but all the fixations that make Cassius’ romantic headspace such a minefield (need for unattainability and withheld validation, love admixed with hate, and self–destruction, for example) are certainly born of his damage from Julia and never never indulged more—and exacerbated, as a result—than during his relationship with Mustang. 

She was more than a little perfect for him—and by perfect I mean precisely his poison of choice. Don’t let Darrow’s raging boner at the Gala fool you: Cassius was never sicker than during their situationship. 

It might be difficult to imagine how a man like Cassius could be insecure—life dealt him a royal flush, didn’t it? But we know Julia preferred Julian to Cassius and she must’ve resented that everyone disagreed with her, including Julian himself, and basically reduced him to Cassius’ accessory, an extension of his celebrated twin.

And we know that she valued Julian’s life more than… well, just about anyone else in her House; more than her entire House combined, if we assume she’s not a fool and knew exactly what she was gambling by inciting civil war with the Augustuses. 

Something that’s overlooked, though, is how abusive she is to Cassius, specifically. Because it’s made clear that only Cassius is allowed to kill Darrow, because of the blood feud; even members of his family with greater seniority than Cassius cannot intercede, per Darrow’s conversation with Karnus in the bubble garden. Darrow belongs to Cassius.

And it’s also made clear that Cassius cannot kill Darrow while he’s under Nero’s protection as a lancer of House Augustus, because it would functionally be a declaration of housewar and start an internecine conflict, too, within House Bellona, as they were certainly divided on what Julian’s life was worth sacrificing to avenge. Hence, the elaborate plot to estrange Darrow from Nero and cheapen his blood again.

Yet, for two years, Julia does this, right in front of Cassius’ salad:

They say every night since I stole Julian’s life in the Passage, his mother, Julia au Bellona, has sat at the long table of her family’s highhall upon the slopes of Olympus Mons and lifted the semicircular lid of the silver tray brought to her by the Pink manservants. Every night, the tray remains empty. And every night she sighs in sadness, peering down the table at her large family only to repeat the same vindictive words: “It is clear I am unloved. If I were loved, there would be a heart here to sate my hunger for vengeance. If I were loved, my boy’s murderer would no longer draw breath. If I were loved, my family would honor their brother. But I am not. He is not. They do not. What have I done to deserve such a hateful family?” Then the grand Bellona family will watch their matriarch uncoil from her chair, her body withering from hunger, nursing instead on hate and vengeance, and they will remain silent as she leaves the room, more wraith than woman.

Given what I’ve mentioned above, we must imagine that, even though she isn’t addressing him individually, she is speaking directly to Cassius and about Cassius, lambasting him for his failure—and she goes straight for the jugular, too, by accusing Cassius of dishonoring Julian’s memory.

The language may be plural and there are certainly other Bellona complicit in Julian’s death and Darrow’s continued life that Julia has in mind (foremost among them, Tiberius) but this is fundamentally a personal assault on Cassius. As punishment for failing in the first place. To protect Julian? Or avenge him properly when he had the chance, because Darrow survived their duel and she considers that either indicative of his incompetence or unwillingness to act? 

Regardless, this is public humiliation. He’s in a bloodydamn pillory. In their home. At their table. In front of their entire gathered family. Every night. Even after Cassius leaves for Luna and he’s not physically present at the table, she is still shaming him.

By the by, Cassius is still a disgrace to our name. Let’s all take a moment to remember how inadequate he is. Have a snicker or two before diving into your puttanesca. 

Yet Cassius never holds this—or anything, apparently—against her. And he always ‘chooses’ her. For example...

Over Darrow, by sacrificing their brotherhood and crippling their House to pursue vengeance for Julian; over Tiberius, by devoting himself to said vengeance and sacrificing the Pax Solaris for Darrow’s scalp against his father’s wishes; over Octavia and his Olympic vow, by betraying the Jackal’s nuclear capability to Darrow out of concern for Mars, his home where his mother still lives... and is almost certainly scheming to recover their family’s influence and see the Augustuses drawn and quartered in their own citadel.

And, last but certainly not least, over the Republic, by not challenging her claim to Primus and splintering their House, which is especially significant if she married into the family and isn’t even a Bellona by blood, in which case everything she possesses—everything that has given her power in the Remnant and made her a menace to the Republic—should rightfully belong to Cassius as the last true Bellona. In any case, he had standing.

He may claim to prefer Tiberius, but his instinctive loyalty is always to Julia; at every turn, he enables and empowers her. Whether he made these decisions deliberately or consciously in her favor hardly matters. And there’s something to be said about how much he resembles her, too, and how their interests naturally align, which is part of a much longer conversation about his characterization that we’ll save for later.

Anyways, getting back to the beautiful spirit of this ask, the wild thing is, Darrow will pretend not to be a freak and get all flustered when people own their freak, but then he goes and moans like a slut when Cassius guts him.

My body does things. It betrays me.

🙄

Drama queen. Just admit you came like the rest of us. 

[paingoes]

I've been thinking for a while about an AU where Delta's parents are alive, but are imprisoned/held captive by the Empire, and they have no idea what's happened to their son (though they might have their suspicions). At some point after Delta's rescue, they're eventually found and freed by Galatea, and someone puts 2 and 2 together (perhaps there's enough records to piece things together, or someone notices Delta looks like them and they all agree to a DNA test, or perhaps his parents see Delta and are able to recognize him even after all these years, or Delta sees them first and is like "????!!! Same species????!!!" Or perhaps a combination of those.). His parents get to see (and hold?) their son again and learn he's alive, and Delta gets to meet/reunite with his parents and learn that they've always loved him and did want him.

tw for fantasy racism and child abuse and general cruelty/evilness

oh dont make me cry !!! this is kind of a bittersweet AU because i would really like for delta to have been able to meet his parents and to understand how loved he was and that they never forgot about him. but at the same time oh my god this is going to be such a difficult experience for all of them.

this is a minor spoiler and idk if ill even commit to it in the text but my headcanon for a little bit has been that delta and several other of the [eels] youth were taken specifically as a punitive measure against their species for rebellion against imperial rule. the abduction was not only a kind of cultural genocide but it was made to be specifically painful and insulting. like oh you want to rebel? your children are ours now and we are raising them to be weapons wielded by empire. they wont even remember your face.

if you asked delta right now if he wanted to meet his parents i think he would genuinely be very afraid to. he has so much shame about what hes done and who he is as a person. if you asked him that question i think one of the first things he would want to know is “do they hate me?”

additionally… delta has no positive models for parent-child relationships. martino and his other teachers were the closest thing he had growing up. (not all of his teachers were as cruel as martino but across the board dehumanization and heavy control were still the default.) simon was somewhat kind to him but still hurt him on occasion and totally enabled his abuse. constantine was kind to him but in a way that made it clear he was a possession (and though kind to him, delta has witnessed constantine hitting paris, his biological son, on multiple occasions).

i think delta fantasized about what it would be like to meet his parents and to be loved by them but he also thinks that it is just a fantasy — they wouldn’t actually love him if they met him (back when they were online friends, delta tells kitty and apollo the same thing) and due to aforementioned negative experiences, he still has a lot of anxiety about parental relationships.

anyway. deltas parents would be absolutely devastated to know what delta has been through and even more devastated at the fact hes been blaming himself!!!! like at the fact he is ashamed or scared of them at all. they love him so so much and are so proud of him for surviving and getting out. tell him that he literally has rebellion in his blood and he should be very proud of himself for still trying to do good even when he had every incentive not to.

he would probably live with them for a bit before returning to galatea. he lets them pick a name for him :)

aughhhhh. this is a good AU concept maybe ill write it at some point. delta 💙💙💙💙

[ AEGEAN SEAS BONUS:

the offhand mention of delta’s dad beating paris in Aegean Seas was a subtle nod to the fact that deltas parents would absolutely despise paris if they knew how he treated their son. its a shame because AS!paris didnt even deserve it lol he was answering for another universe’s karma

canon delta would literally throw a fit if he knew how AS!delta acts with his parents (bratty, “I HATE YOU DAD” attitude). like i think what AS!delta is doing is normal and totally developmentally healthy but canon delta would not be able to believe how ungrateful he is to have a family and parents who love him. go hug your mom you asshole.]

[queersatanic]

wait, no nut november is fash? i thought it was likea kinky edging thing

It’s one of those “haha it’s just ironic shitposting… unless” sort of things that the far-right often uses, but this one is specifically centered on why men need to preserve their manly vitality and pornography is evil

Yet it would be naive to ignore that there’s significant overlap between the general ideology behind NoFap — and, to a degree, No Nut November — and that of the far right, which has increasingly coopted the principles of masturbation abstinence. Because the challenge is associated with abstaining from porn, some people associated with the movement have taken the extra step of harassing adult performers on social media, giving it an additional layer of troubling implications. “In the past [No Nut November] has always been like, ‘Oh, look at this ridiculous thing some people are participating in,'” says adult performer and director Casey Calvert. “This year, people [in the industry] are talking about, ‘Oh, actually this is connected to the far right and maybe we shouldn’t just be saying hahaha, No Nut November.'”

A new meme brings these implications into sharp relief. Coomer is a reference to a meme of an unkempt, skeezy-looking bearded man in a white tank top with vaguely Semitic features, accompanied by descriptive text like “doesn’t even know anything about politics,” “extremely aesthetic right arm (huge muscle),” and “has never heard of NoFap.”

It’s been circulating on 4chan for the past year, but Alex Hawkins, the vice president of the porn tube site xHamster, says he started seeing it in the replies on his company’s Twitter feed back in September, when presidential candidate Andrew Yang tweeted about limiting access to pornography. At first, “we didn’t really know what it meant and thought it was funny,” he tells Rolling Stone. Then, in late October, the coomer resurfaced thanks to a Twitter campaign led by a user named TeapotLad, in which users vowed to change their avatars to the coomer should they fail No Nut November. PewDiePie shouted out the campaign in a recent YouTube video, as did far-right YouTuber Paul Joseph Watson, who is perhaps best known for being one of the many extremist figures, including Milo Yiannopolous and Alex Jones, to be banned from Facebook. “No Nut November and the Coomer meme represent a deeper meaning,” he said in a tweet. “Porn is evil. It literally re-wires your brain and causes erectile dysfunction. Take the pledge. Don’t be a Coomer.”

The term has also been used in the context of “OK coomer,” a play on the “OK boomer” meme, in response to tweets critical of No Nut November or masturbation abstinence in general. “It’s positioned as this epic battle between the weak beta masturbators and the strong, alpha NoFappers,” says Hawkins.

Like most memes, “coomer” carries with it more than a tinge of irony, and it’s not always easy to determine whether it’s being used flippantly or to actually deride men who masturbate. But the implication is clear: masturbating is an urge that should be resisted at all costs. David Ley, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist who studies pornography and mental health, saw the meme after he tweeted his criticism of No Nut November, referring to it as “a creepy little smorgasbord of insecurity-driven hate with anti-Semitism, misogyny, and homophobia all rolled up in one,” he tells Rolling Stone.

[luca-armed-and-neurodivergent]

Haha oh boy two Limbus text posts with moderate but not negative reception and I’m already going into controversial territory

My picks for distortion detective ids :) … oh boy I’m gonna be put in the singing machine for there but THEY ALL HAVE REASONINGS YOUR HONOUR

Let’s just start with the easy ones

Ezra and Dias : Ezra don/Dias Faust … do I need to explain these ? Well Ezra is very energetic and a big fan of Workshops just like don but exchange workshops with fixers. And Faust and Dias just click … ya dig ?

The one where there isn’t an obvious choice but which will need an explanation

YuRia I believe should be ryoshu, her „interest“ in psychomends mirrors ryoshus „interest“ in „art“ her personality also fits onto ryoshu more than other options (yi sang because smart and an inventor… and that’s about it Faust is already given to dias)

Oh boy this is gonna have people look at me weird

Vespa crabro: now meursault is the obvious pick and one I’d agree with, one small issue tho… I believe SINCLAIR is a better pick in all honesty. Why ? Let’s start superficial, young and a powerhouse (especially when they experience strong emotions).and for the more story aspects. They were forced out of a rather good position in life without any choice. Vespa losing his job and Sinclair losing his family and they both have a bad history with an evil group (we don’t know if Vespa was traumatized by the thumb like Nagel und Hammer traumatized Sinclair but it’s clear he holds distain for the syndicate)

And now for the grand finale the thing I might get hate for

Moses

And no it is NOT outis … stop booing me I’m right „but old woman“ „but smoke war“ well guess what. The person I’m thinking off neutralizes both points and yes ITS GREGOR first the superficial points… Gregor is old too bro is 35 he’s already standing with two feet in his grave and yeah smoke war and stuff… also both Gregor and Moses are missing an arm and they both smoke… now for the story THE BIG THING why I believe Gregor is a better pick. It’s because they resemble each other. Just on different sides of the war. Both were essentially brainwashed by a powerful entity on their side of the war. Hermann the head scientist of g Corp and Dias the cult leader of the Udjat. Both also were the favorite underling of said powerful figure and both Moses and Gregor were put into a leadership position Gregor being the mascot and war hero of g Corp, Moses the captain of the udjat and both now have major ptsd from the war also holding distain for their respective brainwasher. And let’s not forget both have been on record for turning into a creature when in emotional distress

Or in short: Ezra/don Dias/Faust YuRia/ryoshu Vespa/Sinclair Moses/Gregor

[bee-whistler]

I heard Trump signed an “executive order” (don’t make me laugh) about protecting Christians from persecution.

Where to begin?

Alright, well, I could write a novel on this. But I have like maybe ten followers who actually read my text posts and half of y’all probably have executive dysfunction like I do so I wanna make this accessible.

But I wanna make a statement and offer some suggestions, because this action he’s taken is just words at the least, and at most will open the door to persecutions by so-called Christians rather than stopping persecution of them. It’s lip service to a certain type of Christian, and it worries me.

So here’s my points, as a Christian but not representing any faith, just myself:

We don’t really need this as a group, do we? We’re doing more harm to Christianity from the inside than we’re getting from the outside.

I do think individual Christians experience persecution, because everyone does. Where you see someone persecuted for a belief, any belief that isn’t advocating harm to others, I encourage you to stand with them as peacefully as you can. We have the right to choose and the capacity to differ and remain friends.

Try not to get into debates or heated arguments, but do know your stuff. A lot of the more militant Christian zealots tend to cherry-pick their scripture. But Christ’s fundamental teachings during his ministry hamstring all of their points. Know those basics. I’ll list some good ones below.

Film where possible in any situation where someone is approaching you forcefully or aggressively. Cover your butt. I don’t know what people think they’re doing out there, but so many are chugging the koolaid and really think your green hair is a threat to everything they hold dear.

And a point that should have been higher up… if they’re so worried about persecution of Christians, did they defend Bishop Budde? Because she had a message of kindness and mercy, spoken with Christlike gentleness, and never once telling anyone what to believe, just to be merciful to frightened people. It was a cool drink in a searing desert and I want you all to look to her example when you see people misrepresenting Christianity. She was showing how it should be done.

Alright, Christ’s basic teachings during his ministry as I remember them (this is taking a long time and I got a late start today, so these are the ones I try to keep in mind):

Love thy God with all thy heart, mind and soul… I’m sure they think they do, but it is said that if they do that then they will also love God’s children.

Love thy neighbor as thyself… and then it’s made clear that your neighbor is every other living human being.

Turn the other cheek. If someone asks you to go a mile with them, go two. If they want your coat, also give them your cloak. And forgive others seventy times seven. In short, chill, be generous, don’t act too good to help others.

Judgment is God’s. People are terrible at it. Make righteous judgments where necessary in life, but don’t be pointing out the tiny flaws of others… yours are bigger.

In fact, are any of us without sin? Then calm down and put down those rocks.

Don’t confuse evil with good and good with evil. You’ll know which someone favors by their actions.

Be a peacemaker, be humble, be meek, always strive to be the best person you can be, cry with those who are suffering and comfort them, be God’s hands on Earth.

God sees us all as equals so who are we to think we’re better than another person?

What God gives you is a blessing, and yours to do with as you see fit, but if you’re a true believer, what you’ll see fit to do with it is share it with those who have nothing.

There’s room for everyone on the Nice List. (yes, it’s from Elf, but it fits the spirit of the message here)

Welp, probably no one reading this far down. But that’s my rant. I am a devout Christian and I’m tired of people representing Christ as someone who would approve of racism, cruelty, misogyny, oppression, dehumanization and hate.

By their works ye shall know them. Call them out, calmly but firmly. Let them know you know what followers of Christ represent and that they are the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Because if this many people were genuinely trying to be like Jesus Christ, the country would be so, so different. So much more peaceful, so much less fear.

People don’t have to be like you to deserve to be free and happy.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

🍺 Jamie, we need the full unabridged Calico Jack essay you certainly have.

Ok so here's the thing. I've already made a lot of the meta about him that I need to make so I'll just link some and give you director's commentary. This is in reverse chronological order of when I posted it so my understanding of my evil alcoholic meow meow has grown more complex and nuanced the farther down it goes.

The full throttle Jack apologia I was on before the canyon materialized - I understand why this one has 7 notes and three of them are from me. I really do. However I stand by most of what I said here. I don't stand by my relative minimization of what Jack did do wrong (Being homophobic, being a bad friend to Ed and saying that they're not friends, Being manipulative instead of just warning Ed and letting him make the call about Stede). I think that what's missing from this little essay is that Jack is, as a narrative tool, trying to pull Ed back into his old life that he hates. His fundamental narrative purpose is to show what Ed's life was like back when he was shitty. Now I think from this perspective that Stede is just as culpable for doing that to Mary but it's not Mary's story any more than it's Jack's story so I am reading against text in this meta. However what you have to understand is that in may of 2022 when I published this thing that Jack was universally hated. I personally saw him as a sympathetic and wrong character where as the general consensus back then was that the dalliances he talked about with Ed had to have been non consensual if they were real because why would Ed ever have sex with a guy like that. Which is a take I have a lot of problems with but the main one is that it denies Ed agency to have sex with a guy that rubs you, the viewer the wrong way. So basically, I agree with this post but I would not make it in the current relatively Jack friendly climate of the fandom. Nor would I make it in a post canyon enviornment where the homophobic masc white guy apologia has reached a fever pitch just because I don't want to be associated with that. Also I'm a lot less charitable to Stede than most ofmd fans for personal, non jack related reasons. Also I want to make a note here that I should have made in that meta but will make now that I'm not saying that Stede is terrible and you shouldn't like him, my argument was essentially that seeing Jack as one dimentionally evil is kind of weird when you're willing to completely write off Stede's misogyny era as an oopsy. I like Stede. Most people like Stede. I stood alone in also liking Jack at the time.

Here's a much more reasonable strain of Jack apologia that I've settled on - In the early days I bounced back and forth between "he literally did nothing wrong except kill Karl" and "He's the worst guy ever (affectionate)" but eventually I saw how the wind was blowing on people who said "he's never done anything wrong" about Izzy and I was like, I'll dial it back even though I'm not throwing Ed or Stede (generally unless I'm also defending Mary B in the same breath) under the bus to say it. You'll notice it's pretty much the same thesis except for instead of being phrased as "Stede was out of pocket and Jack did nothing wrong and you're all highschool brained" it's phrased as "I think this is what happened but these two other things could also be the case and I would still like him. This is the clear role he plays in the narrative giving it to someone else annoys me." Also Beardy is what I started having my Jack tulpa call Ed before season 2. I've explained why Here on the @ask-calico-jack sideblog where I'm the mod because I got an ask about it and I decided to address it out of character. Also I'm Not Going Anywhere is a Jack apologia fic I was writing at the time which I have since abandoned. Basically I whumped him into submission.

My Evidence for Jack being willing to risk his life to save Ed - more apologia that I stand by. Once again I want to reiterate that in 2022 everybody hated that guy and most people still hate him which is fair and natural but enough people have come around that I'm now willing to ignore the haters because I have to fight with the people who like him wrong.

this was part of an ask game asking me what I thought about ships and I went off about Ed and Jack

I learned that Calico Jack was named after calico the fabric and I made this because I'm still on my Jack/Ed enemies to rivals who fuck shit - Not sure about Ed's skin here, is he too orange? depends on whether you're on desktop or mobile.

Calico Jack penis discourse - This one is integral to my view of the pissing scene. I love the pissing scene it's one of the only scenes of tv ever.

Jack is cute he would kill me for saying it but it's true 2 3 4

Brief asside that I feel like I have to put in and here's probably best: At some point in late 2022 early 2023 Jack stopped being so villified and people started to think he was kinda fun. After this the CJizzys attacked. I used to passively like the concept of CJizzy because in my head they were the worlds worst guys being terrible together. It was giving Izzy a pirate captain to obsess over the way he obsesses over blackbeard, except the pirate captain actually liked being a pirate captain so it was healthier than what he has going on with Ed, and also it was like if that one straight couple that are together but hate each other because she's a nag and he's a slob were gay pirates who partake in unsafe bdsm. Then a bunch of people started writing and drawing this wildly out of character CJizzy stuff and I got turned off of it completely because they would hollow out my favoriate little villain to turn him into the perfect white masc boyfriend for their little guy because they cant enjoy a show if there aren't masc4mascs in it, and now because of that I hate the ship. I just can't stand people giving Jack emotional intelligence without him being wrapped in a blanket and socialized by force first. It's not that I don't like woobifying him it's that you're woobifying him wrong and above is the way you ought to do it. anyway, onwards.

Anon asks me how I think Jack felt about being rejected by the crew - I stumble upon an interesting potential motive for him faumenting mutiny against Stede and potentially evidence for him telling the truth about having been mutinied three times.

Ed has a type - I added Frenchie in here because I'm a serial shipper and I stand by that decision despite Frenchie being different from Jack and Stede in most ways but I genuinely think that Stede and Jack are a very similar type of guy

Jack is not a frat boy - this one is me being a dick again but also I'm right.

Jack calls Stede slurs, this is funny - note that Stede also calls Jack "calico" as if his first name is Calico and his last name is Jack and that historically Jack was called "calico" Jack because some guy writing a salacious book about pirates wanted to make him seem gay so to me Jack's nickname for Stede is Fairy and Stede's nickname for Jack is Fudgepacker. This to me is both amusing and homoerotic.

Fic rec - What I think Jack and Ed were like as kids, there's a one paragraph meta and then below it a link to a 2k word fic

Jack has a type - Anne and Mary came out and I love them

Jack fucks - This has always been my take but I think there's a lot of people on here who thinks he doesn't fuck well and all of them are wrong, and more importantly, have not had sex with as many bisexual 50 year old alcoholic perverts as I have, so they don't know what they're talking about. Jack would try to sell me meth on grindr.

Jack and Ed are tragic actually - they could have been highschool sweet hearts who got married if Jack wasn't a little bitch

I am shipping so hard right now - my thesis about my pet 5 way

Aro cowboy pirate- Jack and Jim also have stuff in common

Jack has dimentions don't you dare say he doesn't have dimensions - Jack actually is sympathetic Ed told me himself and he also told you and Jack also says a lot about both Ed and Stede and that's the whole reason he's there is to say a lot about Ed and Stede if you will just listen to what his presence says about the guys you like maybe you would understand him like I do. (you general not you specifically)

and finally

my writing advice.

[itsalwayswellattheworldsend]

Chapter 16 - Ralph Rideth the Wood Perilous Again 

Text Audio

Synopsis:

Ralph is angry with Roger, but Roger has one more trick up his sleeve: the offer to introduce him to the person he most wants to see in the world.

Summary:

"And this master," said Ralph, "is he of the Dry Tree?" Said Roger: "I scarce know how to answer thee without lying: but this I say, that whether he be or not, this is true; amongst those men I have friends and amongst them foes; but fate bindeth me to them for a while."

Roger led a strong, reddish horse to Ralph, well-equipped for fighting, and he had a good grey horse of his own. The two of them mounted at once, and Ralph rode slowly away through the wood, letting his horse take the lead, for he was thinking about all that had happened to him, and wondering what would happen next. Meanwhile, the others of that group did not wait around, but immediately got on their horses and left by a different direction.

No one said anything for a while until Roger came up close to him and said: “Where are we going, fair lord? Do you have an idea of which direction your errand lies?”

Ralph took this as mockery, and he answered sharply: “I don’t know; you’ll take me wherever you want to go, the same as you brought me here with lies and stories. I suppose you will take me by some roundabout path to the stronghold of the Dry Tree. It doesn’t matter, since you wouldn’t dare take me back to the Burg. Although, now it seems to me that it is bad to be left alone with a proven traitor and liar, and I might have been better off going with the whole group.

“No, no,” said Roger, “You’re angry and that doesn’t surprise me, but let go of that, if you can. In truth, what I have told you of myself and my struggles was not just lies. Nor was it a lie that you were in danger in the Burg, you being strong, cheeky, and—I think—raised to hate cruel deeds and injustice. They cannot abide such freedom in their ranks, and you would soon find yourself in trouble with them. And further, it’s not bad to have left those others, who might still have some rough work to do before they make it home. I won’t take you to Hampton under Scaur if you don’t want to go there; but I will certainly take you someplace you have not asked me to yet, where I say you would be both safe and at ease. Now lastly I say this: whatever I have done, I have done it for good and not evil, and there is also another one, whom I will not say the name of to you, who wishes even more good for you than I, because of the two you killed in the Wood Perilous the day before yesterday.

When Ralph heard those last words, such a strong and sweet hope to see that woman of the Crossroads of the Wood Perilous awoke in him that he forget everything else, except that he must not alienate Roger, lest they separate and he should lose the assistance of one who might bring him to see the one he had unwittingly become so enthralled by; so he spoke to Roger quietly and humbly: “Well, my fellow traveler, you see how I am still young and have stumbled into dangerous situations, which are beyond my strength to overcome alone, at least until I get close enough to look them in the eye and strike them down, if they are my enemy. So I ask you to guide me, and if you betray me then that’s on you. In truth, since I don’t know these woods and might get lost and wind up  back at the Burg—whom you’ve now made my enemies—I will take you at your word and assume the best of you, and not ask anything except you where you to go.”

“Fair sir,” said Roger, “we must at least get away from here, as we are still too close to the Burg to be safe; but as to where else we might go, we can talk about it as we ride.”

Then he heeled his horse forward at a quick trot, for the horses were fresh and the woods around them mostly of beech trees and clear of underbrush; and Roger seemed to know the way, and he went on without hesitation.

Some four hours later, the wood thinned and the beech trees were left behind and they came into a quiet, rugged area of low hills, stony earth, and scraggy thorn bushes.

The Roger said: “Here I think we’re out of danger with the Burg; if they follow our trail all the way to where we split with the other group, they won’t notice us two going off alone compared to all the others. So we can rest the horses a bit, though there’s nothing for them to eat around here. In that regard, we’re somewhat better off: look, I have food and drink in my saddlebags.”

So they got down and let their horses graze while they ate and drank, during which Ralph again asked Roger where they were going. Roger said: “I’m taking you to a safe place, and a noble house of one my masters, where you can stay if you’d like, peacefully.”

“And this master,” said Ralph, “is he of the Dry Tree?”

“I don’t really know how to answer that; I’ll say this: that whether or not he is, I have friends and enemies among them, but fate binds me to them for a time.”

Said Ralph, reddening: “Are there women among them?”

“Yes, yes,” said Roger, smiling a little. “You can bet on that.”

“And that Lady of the Dry Tree,” Ralph continued, reddening more but not hiding his face, “that woman that the folk of the Burg spoke so bitterly of, threatening her with torture and death if they could just get their hands on her, what will you tell me about her?”

“Very little,” said Roger, “except that you want to see her, and that you may do so if you let me guide you.”

Ralph listened as if he hardly heard what Roger was saying, but soon he got up and paced a little with his brows furrowed like someone considering something difficult. He said nothing, and Roger seemed to not pay him any mind, though in truth he looked at him discreetly from time to time, until at last Ralph came back and sat by Roger and after a while said: “I don’t know why you people of the Dry Tree want me, or what you will do with me, but I would leave right now—whatever the danger—except for one thing.”

Roger said: “You’ll learn later on, and find that it’s really very simple; but meanwhile I tell you again that it is for your good. So ride away if you want, who will stop you? Certainly not me.”

“No,” said Ralph, “I will first go to you to that fair house, and afterwards we shall see what happens.

“Yes,” said Roger, “then let’s get to riding, so that even if we can’t get there before dark, we’ll get there before morning, for it’s still far away.”

Notes:

From my memory, this is sort of the end of Part 1 of Book 1. I guess I said something similar when we met Roger and left the crossroads of the Wood Perilous—which was also true—but now we’ve wholly moved on from the setup and passed our first adventure, and soon we will be getting into the heart of The Road unto Love; That is to say, the Love portion of it.

This is where time and direction begin to get weird. So far we know Ralph traveled south from Upmeads to the Burg, and that Hampton under Scaur was east of the crossroads, but Ralph’s escape from the Burg leaves things in a weird place. He exits by a postern between the East and South Gates, but we don’t know which direction that door was facing. He estimates that they are traveling through the Wood Perilous south of the Burg, so I assume they went more or less south from there (although it seems like the Fellowship of the Dry Tree would trend more north-east. When Ralph and Roger split from the larger group, we’re not given any sort of guidance as to which direction they’re going. Presumably, it’s towards Roger’s Master’s house the whole time (not just after they have their discussion) but even that is supposition. I’m hoping that the next chapter gives some indication of direction, or else I have no idea where to put the Hall of Abundance (their next destination). In my first reading, I imagined them approaching from the south, but now I’m thinking more from the north-west, not that I really have any evidence for that yet. Hopefully we get some sort of landmark to orient ourselves by.

I’m going to start marking on the map wherever Ralph spends the night, to help track the days (for as long as possible). So far, each day has been described, but coming up we’ll get to longer periods of time that are glossed over, and may have to guess at things. Morris does keep us informed about the seasons, which is nice, and may mention specific months again later. If I remember correctly, the whole journey lasts a year (likely where Tolkien got the idea from), but I could be conflating things.

Map:

[brenda-walsh-ministries]

One Ember At A Time

The Bible is filled with good advice about how to get along with others. In Ephesians 4:2 we're told “Be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love”. In other words, don't scream and holler, lose your temper when things don't go your way or be puffed up with pride thinking that you are better than someone else. Be quick to praise and slow to criticize. Remember that the basis for every authentic and meaningful relationship, is love. All throughout Scripture, God's message is all about the love. In Corinthians 13, verses 4-8, we are given the description about what real love is “Love is patient, love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud; it does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”. And in John 15:12, the message is clear “My command is this: love each other as I have loved you”. This world would be such a better place if we would just learn to love like Jesus loves. Just imagine living in a world without hate, where people would love each other regardless of skin color, whether rich or poor or what country they were born in. All God's children are beautiful and He loves each one just the same. Start changing the world today by loving like Jesus loves and stomp out hatred one ember at a time. Text: Proverbs 11:17, 1 John 3:18, Colossians 3:14, Luke 6:31

Bible Texts:

Proverbs 11:17 KJV - The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but [he that is] cruel troubleth his own flesh.

1 John 3:18 KJV - My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Colossians 3:14 KJV - And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Luke 6:31 KJV - And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

[readingoals]

I feel like I say this a lot in regards to aspec books but I really wanted to like this more than I did.

Now, maybe my problem is partly that a lot of aro and/or ace books are YA and I typically don't pick up YA anymore, but I think I feel justified in giving this book 2 stars even taking that into account.

Apologies, but it's going to get long and ranty so I'm putting this under a cut.

I hated the writing style. It was written in third person but to me it felt very clear that the author wanted to write in first person and was talked out of it. There are constant interruptions throughout the text of little side comments in brackets. (They looked like this.) (Often with two or three or even more in a row) (I think it was meant to come across as cute and quirky because oh boy is the MC supposed to be adorkable but fuck it annoyed me). And because it was written in third person but at least half of these bracketed interjections felt as if it was the MC commenting on things or they were her thoughts, the tone ended up being confusing. Every time the text said "Alice did this" or "Alice went there" I was like surprised because I expected it to be more from her point of view.

Speaking of Alice. Though she's like 19 or 20 in the story, she reads as quite a bit younger. Half of what she says sounds as if she's quoting the most annoying tumblrina possible. She says squee and has a "cutie code" which she uses to rank everything and her reactions to so much of what happens in the story felt like how a high schooler would react. Her only interests seem to be Netflix and food, but she refuses to learn to cook because she injured herself a couple of times when she did try. She writes analytical essays about the shows she watches which is fun except she says it's because shes like too sophisticated for fanfic or something which feels kinda shitty. And when a friend dares to suggest she might like dating someone who is also ace, she dismisses it out of hand.

The love interest was boring - his most defining feature was how hot he was - and more than once he seemed to overstep boundaries Alice had set (bugging her at work when she'd asked him not to, taking photos of her while she slept even tho shed made it clear she didnt love having her photo taken) but it was always positioned as him being cute and showing interest in her rather than it being creepy or rude. Similarly, the secondary characters were all pretty one dimensional.

As for plot. It was pretty weak. I kept waiting for anything to happen. Theres a whole thing about Alice being pushed by her family to become a lawyer even though she doesn't want to. And shes always going on about how she loves decorating rooms but as soon as someone suggests she should get into an interior design course she seems surprised it's a real job. Sorry but by the time I was 19 I knew what a fucking interior designer was! Especially for someone watching as much tv as she does....theres so many shows about decorating houses.

And then we get to the real big issues. Alice is asexual, which is great. Except that she's written so fucking badly. The way she talks about and explains her experiences with sex are contradictory. She frequently quotes tumblr when explaining being ace but doesn't seem to understand any of what she says. The author fell back on tired tropes and misunderstandings of asexuality. In fact Alice is barely a character who happens to be asexual. She is asexuality dressed up as a character. All she thinks about is being ace and not knowing if she wants sex or not. It's boring.

This isn't a spoiler since it's in the blurb and like chapter 1, but Alice's girlfriend breaks up with her because Alice doesn't want to have sex as much as she does. She is then positioned as evil through the whole rest of the book, completely demonised for it, even though Alice literally never told her she was ace. And then when the love interest says some similar things at one point, then it's glossed over and fixed in a day. They never have a real conversation about it, or about how to navigate a relationship when one of them is ace (and seemingly sex repulsed? Altho maybe not for him? It's never made clear) and the other is allo. In fact no one has any proper conversations about anything through the whole damn book.

At one point I thought we were going to get something real. Theres a scene at a party. Alice is hit on by a drunk guy who says some pretty gross things based on her skin colour. It would have been a fantastic opportunity to start a dialogue about how Alice's experiences as a black woman intersect with her asexual identity, especially in regards to being fetishised and sexualised because of racist stereotypes, and how experiencing that would feel as someone with no interest in sex. Instead it was glossed over and forgotten. And then a couple chapters later we got a pointless deep dive explanation into the idea of platonic soulmates which felt like the author was once again trying to prove her characters were friends without really doing the work to show it.

Look, you can tell the author was trying hard but she completely missed the mark, especially in regards to asexuality and what that means. She hit all the big dot points - that arousal and attraction are two different things, that there are multiple types of attraction, that asexuals can have and enjoy sex, that you can love someone romantically and still not want to have sex with them. And yet it felt as if the minute it was on the page, she totally forgot about it in order to manufacture the drama.

A total disappointment.

[idonttalktopeasants]

My English homework

I wrote this for an English assignment but now I don’t know what to do with it so I’m putting it here

Warning:a lot of fat jokes

Word count:1,530

Betsy butterface was a 10-year-old girl with brown hair and a boyfriend, Tobey McGuire, a loser with glasses and a bow tie. They were average kids in an average school full of average losers, in an average town called (I’ll pick a name later)

Today was a weird day Betsy went to school and did all her classes as normal, nothing could possibly go wrong, or so they thought.

Betsy was supposed to meet Tobey to get the new trendy balenciaga ice cream, it cost 5000 dollars each but because they weren’t American they could afford it.

They were walking while eating the ice cream and as expected it tasted like total garbage, but clout ain’t free even if it meant ingesting a few pieces of lead. Both of them had to take breaks on the walk because they needed to throw up so badly in nearby trash cans

Betsy felt sick after managing to eat the ice cream, before she could be stopped she fell in a lake, but unlike any other lake it started glowing, then it stopped, Betsy quickly got out and went back home.

The next day Betsy woke up to her trendy skincare broken and messy. She was so lucky that she woke up early or the toxic fumes would have hurt her, the cleanup took half an hour but that wasn’t a problem. She got dressed and went to school

Betsy got a note in her locker saying:

Meet me beehynd the skool

Secret guy

Betsy didn’t know who it was from but she went anyway. Turns out it was a bully, chad, he was a 14-year-old guy who got held back. Chad saw betsy and she ran away, Chad chased Betsy into a dark alley and cornered her, he was about to beat her up but suddenly got propelled into a wall. How could this have happened? There was nobody there?

Chad’s face started bruising as well, it looked like he was getting beaten up by a boxing champion but no one was there.betsy held her arm in anticipation but Chad then stopped moving. Betsy got worried and left, she bumped into a lady and was going to apologize but she saw the lady frozen in place also. The pumpkin spice latte she had dropped was frozen in the air.

Looking around Betsy saw that everything was frozen in place and when she looked at her arm she saw it was glowing, the same glow from the lake. Betsy held her arm tightly again and this time everything went back to normal.

This was amazing, for some strange reason that lake gave Betsy awesome powers. Apparently she could unconsciously beat people up and stop time. The first thing she did was go to Tobey McGuire’s house. When she arrived Tobey obviously didn't believe her, Betsy didn’t know what to do but she held her arm again, and then everything froze again this time Tobey didn’t freeze along with everything else. Tobey dropped his nerdy Pokémon cards and they froze in the air

‘What the hell is this!?!?’ Said Tobey, Betsy said nothing, Tobey saw Betsy’s arm glowing ‘holy crap your arm! It’s glowing, this has to be because of the lake’ said Tobey ‘I don’t care, this is awesome!’ Said Betsy ‘if I could beat up Chad with this imagine what else I could do’ Tobey

Got worried and said ‘Betsy I think we should be responsible with this, as they say-‘ Betsy cut him off ‘ Shut the hell up Tobey Nobody cares’ betsy left

The next day was horrible for everyone of Betsy’s classmates, Betsy planned to enlist revenge on all who have shown her nothing but scorn and bitter hate. She cheated off of people during a pop quiz and wrote notes insulting people in their desk, nobody could blame her because she was in another classroom, she found a girl sitting at her seat, it was HER SEAT, the NERVE was unbelievable, Betsy didn’t know this girl but it was clear she was evil so she held her arm again and carried the girl to another chair, when the girl was unfrozen she was confused.

At the end of the school day Tobey texted Betsy on her IPHONE 14 and said ‘ you need to come to the lake I have something to show you *emoji*’. In 10 minutes Betsy arrived ‘what’s going on?’ She said, Tobey replied with ‘ look what I found’ he took a bottle with a piece of paper inside and opened it:

When a person falls into this lake, preferably a minor who recently ingested a balenciaga product, they will receive the abilities that they need to defeat Gorlock the destroyer.

Who’s gorlock the destroyer? And why is he so important that they needed to make a magic pond to be able to defeat him? Betsy and Tobey decided that they should to Google it, and that’s what they did. They were both sitting in a park bench near the lake, Turns out it was an old folk tale that they told in the 1800s based off a real man. It took all of 5 minutes to find a copy:

‘There was once a man by the name of Ali in a town called (I’ll think of a name later). A man experiencing the failings of obesity at the young age of 23, his only sanctuary was the sweet shop across the street because no female could ever love a man like him, wider than the burj Kalifha itself. Ali died of heart failure at the age of 23 from 1801-1824. He needed to be buried under a field because a regular cemetery was too small for him. Many years later women who had rejected Ali were found dead, and people have reported seeing a gigantic monster that looked like Ali destroying every gym In (I’ll think of a name later). Ali has later been given the name gorlock the destroyer.’

And suddenly the ground underneath the lake crumbled and something really big emerged, it was like Godzilla but fatter. It could only be one thing. Gorlock the destroyer.

Betsy and tobey watched the whole thing in horror as gorlock went and tried to steal things like women and the McDonald’s, luckily he could only succeed in one of those things. The failure made him upset and he destroyed the gyms. This was too much, Betsy ran away to a wrecked up gym and hid behind the flipped-over gym equipment.

A few minutes went by but Betsy couldn’t leave the spot and risk getting killed. A bright light appeared and a ghost of an old-timey man showed up, he was bald.Betsy yelled ‘WHO ARE YOU’ immediately the ghost responded ‘ I am drew grate, a pioneer of my time, I created the lake’ Betsy was surprised ‘why are you here?’ She asked ‘I was mistaken, the person that fell in the lake was supposed to be a boy, I forgot to include that in the prophecy’ said drew grate ‘ I came to take the power back and Give it the the boy who was with you’ Betsy was upset ‘NO,you already gave it to me’ she yelled ‘how dare you, you haven’t done anything’ said drew grate ‘ how do you know that, I haven’t even had it for a day’ betsy said ‘If I defeat gorlock will you let me keep it?’ Drew was shocked but he spent a few seconds thinking and said ‘okay’. He then disappeared.

Betsy had to think what could she do? Gorlock came to the gym Betsy was in and destroyed all the equipment, Betsy had to dodge the undeserved attacks to the equipment she was hiding behind. That’s it! The equipment! Maybe Betsy could use that to get rid of gorlock. Right now she had to find Tobey. So she left and found him, next to a big pile of concrete. Gorlock attacked Tobey’s house and Tobey got hit in the head.

Betsy told Tobey about her plan and he agreed, after he felt better Betsy held her arm and everything froze. Her and Tobey spent a lot of time making a trail using exercise equipment that lead her away from (I’ll think of a name later). When Betsy held her arm again gorlock saw the trail immediately and started to follow the trail and destroy each piece of equipment on the way

Gorlock fell in the ocean and started moving like she was getting beaten up by a pro boxer. Just like Chad. Betsy then realized the reason why it happened, Betsy hated Chad and she was so angry at him that she unconsciously did that. Betsy hated gorlock for destroying Tobey’s house. gorlock stopped moving and started disintegrating. The townspeople came back out and started the cleanup process,Betsy went back home after that. There was no doubt now that she proved drew grate wrong.

When it was time to go to school again the rumors about what happened were crazy, one kid said that it was Godzilla’s older brother but nonetheless Betsy felt really cool and this time she needed no trendy stuff to prove it.

[mrlnsfrt]

The Final Test

Life is not so much about what you did in the past as it is about what you are doing now. You may have done things you are not proud of. Oftentimes, there isn’t much you can do about your past, but you are in control of what you do now. You can learn and grow from your past mistakes and become a better version of yourself.

The Test

 And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, “Fill the men’s sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man’s money in the mouth of his sack. 2 Also put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest, and his grain money.” So he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken. 3 As soon as the morning dawned, the men were sent away, they and their donkeys. - Genesis 44:1-3 NKJV

Previously Joseph had served Benjamin 5 times as much as their brothers (see my post Family Drama) and now Joseph has another test along the same lines. Joseph is determined to discover how his brothers feel about Benjamin. Joseph had been the favorite son, and his brothers had hated him for it (see Genesis 37:3 and my post Dysfunctional Family). Benjamin is likely the favorite son now and Joseph wants to know if his brothers will betray Benjamin like they did him.

The text makes it clear that Joseph cares for his family. He makes sure that their sacks of grain are filled to the brim and he also returns the money. Joseph is providing for his brothers and father and their families. Joseph’s primary interest is the character of his brothers. Are they still evil and selfish? Are they willing to betray and abandon their youngest brother?

Not so fast

4 When they had gone out of the city, and were not yet far off, Joseph said to his steward, “Get up, follow the men; and when you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why have you repaid evil for good? 5 Is not this the one from which my lord drinks, and with which he indeed practices divination? You have done evil in so doing.’ ” - Genesis 44:4-5 NKJV

Place yourself in the shoes of Joseph’s brothers, how would you feel? Scared? Confused? Angry?

Supplement: Divination

Divination is the practice of foreseeing the future or discovering hidden knowledge. Hydromancy, the art of interpreting the liquids (water) in a cup or bowl, was widely practiced in the ancient Near East (other liquids included oil and wine). The common methods were interpreting the patterns of moving liquids or the patterns of floating objects in the liquid (cp. tasseomancy [tea leaf reading]). That Joseph is said to use the cup for “divination”351 (cf. comments on 30:27) is unexpected since this practice is outlawed in Israel (Lev 19:26; Deut 18:10). There is no instance of this practice in the Joseph narrative (cf. comments on 43:33), and since Joseph’s wisdom relies on the interpretation of dreams, it is best understood as part of the elaborate ploy. The importance of the divination cup is its personal ownership by the Egyptian lord (“my cup,” v. 2). By stealing the cup, the steward concludes, “This is a wicked thing you have done” (v. 5). Verse 6 is typical of good Hebrew narrative style, indicating that the messenger carried out his instructions. - K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 798–799.

What are you talking about?

6 So he overtook them, and he spoke to them these same words. 7 And they said to him, “Why does my lord say these words? Far be it from us that your servants should do such a thing. 8 Look, we brought back to you from the land of Canaan the money which we found in the mouth of our sacks. How then could we steal silver or gold from your lord’s house? 9 With whomever of your servants it is found, let him die, and we also will be my lord’s slaves.” - Geneis 44:6-9 NKJV

Joseph’s brothers are so sure that they are innocent that they make a hasty vow, that if they find anything, whoever has it should be put to death and all of them will become Joseph’s slaves. We, the readers/audience, know something that the brothers do not know. We know that Joseph placed his cup in Benjamin’s bag. What will happen next? Will Benjamin be killed? Will the brothers be taken as slaves?

Notice how all the brothers assume collective guilt. Even though only one among them would be found guilty they decided that they would stand or fall together. This could be a sign of restored family loyalty

An easy out?

10 And he said, “Now also let it be according to your words; he with whom it is found shall be my slave, and you shall be blameless.” 11 Then each man speedily let down his sack to the ground, and each opened his sack. 12 So he searched. He began with the oldest and left off with the youngest; and the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack. 13 Then they tore their clothes, and each man loaded his donkey and returned to the city. - Genesis 44:10-13 NKJV

Joseph’s servant says that it will be done according to their words, but then he changes it slightly. Only the one with whom he finds the cup will be taken as Joseph’s slave, the remainder of the brothers will remain blameless. This is great news! No one has to die, and the brothers have the perfect way to get rid of their father’s favorite son. This means that they will each receive a larger part of the inheritance. This also means one of them could possibly become the new favorite. They could tell their father exactly what happened and they would be innocent. After all, had not Jacob said “And may God Almighty give you mercy before the man, that he may release your other brother and Benjamin. If I am bereaved, I am bereaved!” (Genesis 43:14 NKJV)? The brothers now have an easy out with their father, Jacob.

Joseph’s officer here delivers an Oscar-worthy performance. He could have just gone straight to Benjamin’s sack and found the cup, but no, the search begins with the oldest brother. We already know that the cup will be found in the cup of the youngest brother, but they don’t know that. With each bag that is searched, the brothers experience relief, and their confidence that everything will be okay grows. They are sure that none of them have the cup, and they can’t wait to resume their journey home when suddenly something terrible happens.

The cup was found in Benjamin’s sack! How could this be? I imagine Benjamin pleading and explaining that he did not do it, that he did not take Joseph’s cup. Imagine how the brothers feel. We get a sense of it by how they react. They tore their clothes and loaded their donkeys and they all came back together with Benjamin. Once again we see evidence of the loyalty among the brothers. They were free to go. Only Benjamin had to stay. But all the brothers return to Egypt, and there is no grumbling or disagreement among them. Perhaps they have changed after all.

This turn of events calls our attention to the way in which it reveals the changed character of Judah and his brothers. If we assume that Benjamin was guilty, his act had brought disgrace upon all the brothers. If the brohter’s had been as they were of old it would have been perfectly easy to settle the question by killing Benjamin on the spot and clear themselves of any possible accusation of collaboration. But this was exactly what they did not and would not do. Instead, they returned to Egypt, and even more incredible, there was no reproach of Benjamin. They were certainly conscious of their own greater guilt, and so they returned to suffer together. At last, they were a united family; ready for God’s further and higher purposes concerning them. (W. H. Griffith Thomas, A Devotional Commentary: Genesis (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1946), 420.

What were you thinking?

14 So Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house, and he was still there; and they fell before him on the ground. 15 And Joseph said to them, “What deed is this you have done? Did you not know that such a man as I can certainly practice divination?”

16 Then Judah said, “What shall we say to my lord? What shall we speak? Or how shall we clear ourselves? God has found out the iniquity of your servants; here we are, my lord’s slaves, both we and he also with whom the cup was found.”

17 But he said, “Far be it from me that I should do so; the man in whose hand the cup was found, he shall be my slave. And as for you, go up in peace to your father.” - Genesis 44:14-17 NKJV

“What is this that you have done?” (See also Genesis 3:13–14; 20:9; 26:10; 29:25) Joseph continues to play the part. Joseph does not really practice divination and he does not really need the cup. But he plays this role to test the character of his brothers and to see if they have changed since they betrayed him and sold him as a slave.

Notice how the text (Genesis 44:14) describes Judah and his brothers coming to Joseph’s house. Reuben was the oldest brother, Jacob’s firstborn, and the first child of Leah (Genesis 29:32) (see my blog post He loves me, he loves me not). Judah was Leah’s 4th son (Genesis 29:35), why does the story portray him as the leader of Jacob’s sons? The text describes the brothers following Judah and Judah is the one who speaks for the group. How come?

It was Judah who had suggested to his brothers that they sell Joseph (Genesis 37:26-28 see also Betrayed by Family) You could argue that Judah stood to gain by accepting the Egyptian’s judgment to incarcerate only Benjamin (Genesis 44:17) as he had gained from Joseph’s sale (Genesis 37:27–28). Judah’s self-serving plan resulted in a life of guilt that included his own sad experiences of losing sons and of suffering deception (Genesis 38, Strong Female Character). Judah, faced with a second chance, seizes his opportunity to do the right thing. Judah is done acting in a selfish and self-serving manner.

Judah’s cruelty towards Joseph proved to be Judah’s “cross” to bear. But unlike Jesus, who was innocent of wrongdoing, bearing the undeserved punishment of others (1 Peter 3:18), Judah was not innocent. Granted, he had not stolen and had no knowledge of the silver chalice, but he interpreted the judgment against the brothers as God’s just retribution for their unanswered crime against Joseph. Judah especially took the lead in doing away with his brother Joseph (Genesis 37:26–28), and now he fittingly takes on the weight of the responsibility (Genesis 43:9; 44:33).

Judah is neither a hero nor a villain. The character of Judah is too real, too complex for such facile categories. […] Judah has undergone a moral reformation, not through a single event here or there but through the cumulative effect of life’s vicissitudes - K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 794.

Judah does not claim to be innocent, but he also does not confess to stealing the chalice, they did not steal it. However, Judah knows they have not atoned for the sin of betraying their brother Joseph. For Judah, this mistaken charge against them is the recompense for their crime against Joseph.

Judah’s Plea

18 Then Judah came near to him and said: “O my lord, please let your servant speak a word in my lord’s hearing, and do not let your anger burn against your servant; for you are even like Pharaoh. 19 My lord asked his servants, saying, ‘Have you a father or a brother?’ 20 And we said to my lord, ‘We have a father, an old man, and a child of his old age, who is young; his brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother’s children, and his father loves him.’ 21 Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me, that I may set my eyes on him.’ 22 And we said to my lord, ‘The lad cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’ 23 But you said to your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you shall see my face no more.’

24 “So it was, when we went up to your servant my father, that we told him the words of my lord. 25 And our father said, ‘Go back and buy us a little food.’ 26 But we said, ‘We cannot go down; if our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we may not see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’ 27 Then your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons; 28 and the one went out from me, and I said, “Surely he is torn to pieces”; and I have not seen him since. 29 But if you take this one also from me, and calamity befalls him, you shall bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave.’

30 “Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father, and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life, 31 it will happen, when he sees that the lad is not with us, that he will die. So your servants will bring down the gray hair of your servant our father with sorrow to the grave. 32 For your servant became surety for the lad to my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, then I shall bear the blame before my father forever.’ 33 Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the lad as a slave to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brothers. 34 For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest perhaps I see the evil that would come upon my father?” - Genesis 44:18-34 NKJV

What do you think of Judah’s speech?

Here’s what some Bible commentaries had to say.

“[Judah’s] lengthy plea to be imprisoned in place of Benjamin is among the finest and most moving of all petitions.”  - Allen P. Ross, “Genesis,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 94.

This speech has appropriately been called one of the masterpieces of Hebrew literary composition, one of the finest specimens of natural eloquence in the world.” - Francis D. Nichol, ed., The Seventh-Day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 1 (Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1978), 460.

Truly has Luther said: “What would I not give to be able to pray before the Lord as Judah here interceded for Benjamin, for it is a perfect model of prayer, nay, of the strong feeling which must underlie all prayer.” And, blessed be God, One has so interceded for us, Who has given Himself as our surety, and become a bondsman for us. His advocacy has been heard; His substitution accepted; and His intercession for us is ever continued, and ever prevails. The Lord Jesus Christ is “the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David,” and “hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.” - Alfred Edersheim, Bible History: Old Testament, vol. 1 (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1975), 171.

The speech of Judah in behalf of his young brother Benjamin has been fittingly characterised as “one of the masterpieces of Hebrew composition” (Kalisch), “one of the grandest and fairest to be found in the Old Testament” (Lange), “a more moving oration than ever orator pronounced” (Lawson), “one of the finest specimens of natural eloquence in the world” (Inglis). Without being distinguished by either brilliant imagination or highly poetic diction, “its inimitable charm and excellence consist in the power of psychological truth, easy simplicity, and affecting pathos” (Kalisch) - H. D. M. Spence-Jones, ed., Genesis, The Pulpit Commentary (London; New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1909), 490.

The pathos of the recital is also deeply touching and almost perfect as he goes on to show how the old man, bereaved of his two favorite sons, will be brought down to his grave in sorrow. Then the appeal closes with the heroic offer to become a bondman in the place of Benjamin, to sacrifice himself on behalf of his brother. “For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father.” - W. H. Griffith Thomas, A Devotional Commentary: Genesis (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1946), 420.

One of the aspects of the speech that caught my attention is Judah’s self-sacrifice. He voluntarily submits himself to servitude on behalf of his younger brother, from a different mother, who enjoyed a higher degree of parental affection. He does all this in order to save his aged father from experiencing fresh sorrow and anguish. He knew that his father would miss him less than he would miss Benjamin. That’s gotta hurt. Judah’s self-forgetful magnanimity is admirable. Judah emerges from this terrible trial as a truly converted man, a worthy ancestor of the promised seed, and worthy to give his name to the chosen people of God.

Joseph could no longer doubt that a complete change had come over his brothers, and over Judah in particular, since the day when he had so eloquently urged the sale of Joseph into slavery. Joseph’s tactics had proved eminently successful. He was now convinced regarding the attitude of his brothers, and satisfied that their conversion was genuine. There was no further need to test them, and he was therefore ready to reveal his identity. (Francis D. Nichol, ed., p.461.) (H. D. M. Spence-Jones, ed. p.490–491.)

Takeaway

So what do you take away from this story?

After reading Genesis 38 it would be difficult to imagine Judah ever recovering from such a shameful situation. Yet in Genesis 44 Judah arises as a leader and delivers a moving speech in behalf of his brother Benjamin. I believe this chapter highlights that life is not about how far we fall, but about how willing we are to change, grow, and become a better person.

Judah had strayed from God and done terrible things yet he returned to God and over time God molded and transformed him into a leader that unified his brothers in the right path.

It does not matter how badly you have messed up in the past. The question is, are you willing to humble yourself and admit your faults before God? Are you willing to allow God to transform you into the person He desires you to be?

God desires to bless you and to use you in a mighty way. God will by no means clear the guilty, but He will forgive the sins of all who humbly come to Him.

Your best days are ahead of you when you choose to follow God today.

I did not say easy days, I said your best days. What Judah did was not easy, but it was the right thing and it continues to impact lives to this day. His transformation was so significant that it is out of his descendants that King David and ultimately Jesus will come. (Matthew 1:3-6, 16)

Choose God today. God has already chosen you. Let God mold you into the best version of yourself.