#also the reason why they're in the living room instead of the kitchen has-

[creativewhizkid]

i like the headcanon that sketchbook is friends with the lil orange from episode 1

[wulvercazz]

🤖Unwanted Roommate🤖

Welcome to a new AU 💕 lemme present to you: Android!Grimmjow and Android Mechanic!Ichigo this AU became very important to me very quickly so,, I hope you love it as much as I do✨

Also, have a tiny bit of writing as a form of introduction to the story✨

He holds the android's disemodied face plate in his hands with far more care than the asshole deserves; mostly out of respect to the craft.

"You try to kiss me and I'll spit on you."

Surprise, and then an angry flush overcomes his face. Ever since those piercing blue eyes flashed back on (and scared the ever living shit out of him) Ichigo hasn't had a moment of privacy in his own home.

So he's had more than a few people over, so they're a bit loud… and maybe he often forgets Grimmjow's sitting in ramshackled pieces all across his work table; right in the middle of the room where he has a nice view of his small kitchen-bedroom-bathroom. It's a small space.

The only thing someone like him could afford in this city.

It's the only reason why he picks through the trash to find bits and pieces to work with. He wouldn't have taken in such a scary looking dead android otherwise… at least… it would've perhaps been better if it'd actually been dead. He wouldn't have this annoying empathy of his trying to make sense of the broken pieces.

"Ough, shut up, you piece of junk." He mutters in the small space between him and Grimmjow's disassembled face, still flustered, angry at himself for not simply throwing him back out and instead doing what he can to build this asshole a body he can use.

Next part~

[ramblebramblefun]

"It looks like you two could use a little heart to heart!" The villain chirps, and the world goes black.

When Katsuki wakes up, it's to his own face hovering worriedly over him, which is-

"Kacchan?"

Which is what the fuck, that's what.

"Deku," he growls, or tries to. It comes out as more of a squeak, which would be embarrassing if it were actually his voice, but it's not, so instead it's just fucking. Annoying.

Bloody hell, no wonder all those people were screaming. Katsuki hates this already.

"Kacchan?" Katsuki hears his voice say again, tentatively.

"Who the fuck else?" Izuku's voice has never sounded so flat, and Katsuki doesn't like that either. Makes him sound like a fucking robot.

"How the hell are we going to switch back?"

The villain's long fucking gone, obviously, so it's not like they could politely convince them to undo whatever they'd done.

Maybe Katsuki should have read that stupid report, even if it was ten pages long. He'd decided that the nerd had it covered, the muttering had had a familiar cadence and maybe this is a sign that he should stop tuning Deku out in the briefing room.

Speaking of tuning him out...

Katsuki zeroes back in just as Izuku starts opening and shutting Katsuki's mouth like a fucking fish.

"Spit it out." Katsuki's voice, fuck it, does not growl.

"Um, well..." The nerd stops, and gives himself a little nod. "Right! So the report said that their quirk is called Heart to heart-"

"Stupid-ass name."

"-And that it swaps the bodies of two people at a time and that it's verbally activated (which is probably why it took so long for them to try and use it, they don't seem used to running?) and the people being swapped have to be within five metres of each other and be, um, arguing for whatever reason (like we were, a little bit, um, sorry for knocking into you?) and-"

"And how the fuck do we undo it?"

The nerd goes all shifty again. His eyes dart about nervously and if it wasn't for the risk of breaking his own nose then Katsuki would hit him.

Actually, can he use One for All? It's like, locked or some shit isn't it? Izuku had said something about ghosts that one time Katsuki found him buzzing in the kitchen. At fucking three am.

Fuck his life. And fuck the nerd, who still won't spit it out already.

"Actually," the nerd says slowly, standing up and leaning back.

Katsuki scrambles to his own feet and is profoundly irritated to have to look up to meet the nerd's eyes.

"Actually," he repeats in a warning tone.

"Actually!" Izuku says, way too brightly, "I don't want to have this conversation!"

And then he blasts a hole in the wall with the ease of someone who's been creeping on Katsuki using his quirk for their entire lives.

The way he promptly flees through the hole, however, is nothing like Katsuki. Slippery little-

"Get back here!" Katsuki screeches.

Fuck, Izuku's voice goes high. That sounded awful. Nails on a chalkboard ass motherfucker, when Katsuki gets his hands on him-

Which will be easier said than done, he realises, when he attempts to activate his quirk and nothing happens.

"Are you fucking shitting me." He glares at Izuku's hands.

It doesn't even make him feel better, and also makes his face feel weird. Izuku can cut a bitch with the best of them, if you hit the right buttons, but his face does not naturally lend itself to the many nuances of fury that Katsuki's does.

He probably looks a hamster. An angry one, but still a hamster. Baby-fat ass cheeks. Katsuki can't even fucking pinch them, because he's the fucker they're currently attached to.

Katsuki needs to get out of here.

He punches a wall experimentally. He makes Izuku's knuckles hurt, but still no dice on One for All. The fuck. How does he activate this thing? Izuku never does anything special, he just starts sparking out like Dunce-face and then breaks Katsuki's nose.

Katsuki will break Izuku's nose as soon as it's not his face it's poking out of. Fucking hell.

Well, super-strength isn't One for All's only trick. There's also that Blackwhip crap Katsuki's always training against, along with a bunch of other rubbish. Katsuki can probably activate Blackwhip.

He's just got to get angry, right? That's how Izuku got it, as weird as that had looked, and Katsuki is great at being angry. The world is full of things that piss him off, like fucking nerd's who run off with his body using his quirk and-

Pink bananas!, screams a voice inside Katsuki's head.

-and leaving Katsuki fucking stranded because he's a stupid fucking-

Stop that!

"Make me," he snarls on reflex. Some see-through fucker with a bald head shows up in front of him, and the reflexive explosion doesn't hit him because Katsuki doesn't have a damn quirk at the moment, that fucking-

Seriously, the bald fucker frowns. Stop that!

[calbeloved]

im a liar that can't hold myself back at all. have this dangal thing i wrote entirely in bed still half asleep (inspired and based on beyond: two souls but if you know the premise there shouldnt be any further spoilers) 👍👍👍

a bit of a TW, dante thinks about germs and bacteria and dying (from that & the cold) a couple of times in what is probably a weird way so keep that one in mind if you're also worried about that kind of stuff!!

Dante doesn't like the bedrooms. Or the “living room”, or the kitchen, or the outside. Or maybe he just doesn't like anything at all about the orphanage- that'd make more sense to say, wouldn't it?

Gal doesn't seem to share the same sentiment. He likes to explore and wander around– when Dante is stuck in his room or too afraid to come out, there's always a migraine soon to follow; Gal doesn't like being limited, yet they're stuck together anyway. He gets angry sometimes. A lot of those times, it just makes Dante stay in his room longer; the doctors are concerned about the random bloody noses.

Today, though, Gal wants to go outside.

It's cold and windy and there's even snow and Dante really doesn't want to go out, but he's sick of headaches and feeling dizzy, so he follows the nuges anyway.

Cold means getting sick, and getting sick means dying, so Dante makes sure to cover himself up as best as he can to keep his body the most warm it can be. A hat, two pairs of socks, two too-small pants under a jumpsuit and a big, warm hoodie on top of his shirts. He ties a scarf on top of his neck warmer and puts on the gloves Beatrice lent to him.

A demanding pull is accompanying him the entire time as he dresses; Dante doesn't blame it. Gal can't feel cold or get sick, after all; he doesn't understand why Dante has to do this instead of just walking out as he is.

But that's fine. All he whispers is a; “Sorry, just a little longer– have some patience” into the air and tries to tie his shoes faster.

Sneaking through the orphanage is easy. It's not as much as sneaking, even, just simple walking and paying some extra attention into not slamming the doors. The Nuns are still busy after the last time Gal was playing with the lights; the generator was… something happened to it. It didn't blow up, he doesn't think, but anything can happen, so he wouldn't be surprised even if that were true.

The doors are locked sharp at 6 PM, but there's no reason to worry about that. They shouldn't be out that long– even if they were, Gal can easily open either the doors or the window of his room.

“We can't go too far, Gal,” he murmurs quietly as he closes the main door behind him. The wind picks up at his words; Dante scowls. “We can't. Someone will notice if we're not back when it gets dark, and that's what's going to happen if we get lost in the woods again.”

He pauses for a moment and Gal presses against it in displeasure; a pressure in his head and a sensation on his skin that he's already too used to to call it uncomfortable.

“‘m going.”

And he does.

Strangely, Gal pushes him in the direction of the playground. Usually, he wants to go into the forest to look at all the animals and insects and wander around the trees, but it seems… not today. Dante has no objections about that (he hates the bugs; especially more when Gal tries to throw them into his face, and he's steadily getting better with his aim) so he follows without a word, shoes crushing the snow beneath his feet with a satisfying noise.

There, in the middle of the playground, is a swing. Dante stops and stares. There's nobody on it.

(He loves that swing. It's the best thing in the whole orphanage– in the whole world. He can't play on it, like, ever cause when he's allowed outside someone will always already be on it, and they don't ever let him play. But he observes it from his window sometimes; the playground is visible from inside, and Bea likes to draw him swinging on it, so it's not… that big of a deal.)

Gal nudges him again. Go, go, what are you waiting for?

Dante… slowly walks closer. As he does, the swing starts swinging, but he knows it's not because of the wind.

“Oh.”

Pressure again– Gal twirls around him, excited at the realisation.

“You want to push me?” Slowly, despite the weather, despite knowing he's still probably going to get in trouble for sneaking out, despite everything, Dante smiles.

The swing seems to explode up; it almost touches the metal pipe that holds it up, and immediately goes down with a loud noise as the chains hit each other.

“Gal! Quiet!” And yet he cannot stop a giggle from escaping– Gal wanted to swing with him? And he's this excited about it?

He jogs the rest of the way and practically jumps onto the swing. Carefully wraps his gloved hands around the chains; he doesn't want to get bacteria on his hands. It'd take just one move for him to touch his face and then they'd get onto his whole body and then inside and he'd die.

Gal stays still as he prepares himself; he knows that this is important, at least. The moment Dante raises his head, though, the swing immediately starts rocking to the sides. Gentle and yet uncontrollable.

“Okay. But you have to be careful! I don't want to go that high. And don't make me fall either!”

Gal flickers like a fire about to be extinguished; probably offended at the thought.

Dante just smiles and hides his face in the scarf. “Okay, okay! Sorry. You can start now.”

Not unlike before, the swing moves suddenly, but it is slower and not as violent. Forwards and backwards, up and down and up, and Dante stays grinning, even despite his stomach dropping with each swing.

Again and again, even Gal seems to laugh.

Dante grins– maybe at the feeling of it, or maybe just at the swinging itself, and just makes a point not to look into the windows so he won't know which of the kids will ultimately snitch to the Nuns. What's a punishment when Gal will be there with him, anyway?

[toomuchracket]

Being ‘besties’ w Matty, and sharing a flat. Neither of you really know you’re in love w the other, or maybe you do but you’ve suppressed it. I’m thinking about how it is when one of you has someone spend the night.

Matty meeting them in the kitchen the next morning and being very polite (perhaps too polite, offering them coffee). And as soon as they’ve left Matty just says ‘no. You can do better than that’. And then that day he is extra tactile with you- kissing you on the head, ruffling your hair, pulling you into multiple hugs by grabbing at your jumper.

And when Matty has someone stay and it’s your turn to meet them. How does that go?? Maybe he teases you a bit. If you complain you could hear them going at it, he just laughs and says ‘you should’ve joined us’.

Matty bursting into your room in the early hours. “I NEED A CONDOM. WHERE DO YOU KEEP THEM?” And he is rifling through your drawers before you’ve even woken up properly.

Him blasting music in his headphones because he cannot stand hearing you with someone else.

I have so many thoughts related to this concept!!!

oh you're both absolutely in love with each other but you're both kinda terrified to fuck up the dynamic by admitting it in case it goes tits up and someone has to move out (a proper nightmare especially in this cost of living crisis, actually) so it's all kind of meaningless sexual encounters and they're all kind of unfulfilling because the person you wish you were sleeping with and trying to distract yourself from thinking about is literally through the wall right now with their headphones on (although i think sometimes on the days when the yearning for each other is really bad then they do listen for a little bit for, uh, selfish reasons before it starts to hurt). and most of the time you both kick people out after you've fucked them, out of respect for your flatmate, but there's one night you're just so exhausted that you fall right asleep after it and then you run into matty the next morning and it just triggers this sense of possessiveness within him - he's being overly polite so he doesn't snap the guy's neck out of jealousy, and yeah he's extra tactile and almost-boyfriendy with you that day and you actually really like it. and in terms of matty having a girl stay over, i think it would be really funny if that also triggered his possessiveness as well as yours. like, you're in the kitchen with your coffee seething watching this beautiful girl stand in your hallway hugging matty, and then she sees you in the kitchen and comes in and starts flirting with you like "matty i understand why you didn't introduce me to her last night because i literally wouldve slept with her instead holy shit" and he's like "ok it was great to see you BYE" and after she leaves you're like "she can come back anytime" and he's like "no she fucking cannot". i think the condom thing is funny the way you said it, but i also think that it's the straw that breaks the camel's back in terms of the two of you finally getting together. matty bursts into your room at like 4am looking for one, and it's the first time you've ever actually seen each other face to face on one of the nights where you have someone over. he's half-dressed and dishevelled, and you're half-asleep with bedhead and he can't actually look at you because you look so adorable that it hurts his heart (very be my mistake you do make me hard but she makes me weak vibes), so he just blindly flails towards your bedside table and grabs one BUT in doing that he ends up on top of you and looks at you properly and maybe you've stolen an old t-shirt of his to wear to bed and you're both breathing heavily looking into each other's eyes and he says something like "i don't want to go back through there to use this" and you go "then don't... kick her out and come back to me" and you kiss for the first time and he kicks the girl out and you two finally have sex and all is well <3

[shiraishi-kanade]

Favourite headcanon about Yuka Shiraishi?

Oh, this is going to be a hot mess of a hc dump. I hope you enjoy them nonetheless.

- Yuka can actually cook decently well. She's not like, great at it, but it's not like everything she cooks is inedible. But because Ken is that much of a better cook than her, she sometimes the weaponized incompetence thing where she just so happen to grab salt instead of sweet and almost add it to the dish so Ken can take over the cooking process. Ken is fully aware, finds it endearing and gives in every time. Both An and Yuka love his cooking so much, so why not?

- An wasn't aware of the fact until around High School, however, and thought her mom's just actually terrible. This was the Shiraishi way to motivate An to learn to cook for herself and not rely on her mother or dad for breakfast and such. It worked!

- That said, Yuka was genuinely a horrible cook in college, mostly surviving on instant noodles and takeout. When Ken visited her dorm/room for the first time when they started dating, his reaction can be best described by "damn girl, you live like this?"

- They first met in college, but their actual first meeting was more like An and Kohane, with Yuka getting lost on Vivid Street or somewhere nearby. She got to see a whole new perspective on a just some guy she met on campus sometimes but who otherwise seemed completely ordinary, and that was the moment Yuka become interested in him.

- Both Ken and Yuka were friends for a long time before either of acted on their feelings. College, man! On top of Ken's musical career too! They didn't have time for dating. Nobody was surprised when they got together, though.

- Nagi and Yuka we very good friends from the get go. Yuka is actually older than Nagi by a few years, but Nagi was just acting full on like an older sister, showing Yuka around Vivid Street and getting her into the culture. Despite not being related to Ken, Nagi fully considered herself Yuka's sister-in-law, and both acted accordingly.

- Nobody thought they would stay together, though. It really just seemed like a very incompatible relationship on the surface, but both Yuka and Ken really tried to make it work.

- She and Ken originally wanted a very low-key marriage, the "friends and family only" kind of thing. Unfortunately, news got out anyway, and for the next three months they had to deal with so. Many. Gifts. Their house was practically stuffed for a while.

- She has her own little study room, with shelves full to the brim with textbooks and teaching materials. She actually has an "do not disturb" poster she puts on when she's working during the exam period and while grading papers, and the unspoken rule in the house is to not sing, play music or speak loudly while she's doing that, both because they love her and want to help her through tough time at work and because angry Yuka is a beast to be reckoned with.

- She's also the reason Shiraishi household is in a perpetual state of comfortable mess. Every single room just feels so lived in because Yuka (and An) is very prone to just leave things where they're standing when they get distracted by something. This is why there's so many books, CDs, kitchen appliances and clothes just. All over the place. Once in a while Ken sighs and puts things into their places, but it just returns to its messy state in around a week's time, so they all got used to it.

- A lot of people on Vivid Street were worried that Yuka would be insistent on An getting a conventional career, but Yuka isn't just chill, she's pretty excited about An's musical future. She married Ken of all people, and from the looks of it her job isn't particularly high-pay either, so why on earth would she care about things like "financial stability"? Pff.

- I don't think her parents ever approved of the relationship: iirc, An having grandparents isn't even mentioned anywhere. Yuka didn't care one bit though.

- She went through gifted kid to burnt out gifted kid to found something that brings her genuine joy and found comfort in studying it pipeline in her life; her relationship with school is very complicated and she's also been kind of a girlfailure through college, barely scraping by on some subjects, with Ken doing much better despite not really giving a damn about it.

- She has a very nice voice and can sing pretty well, but she has a particular issue with stage fright specifically about singing than she never got to fix. She'll sing for/with her family sometimes, but nothing other than that.

- She grew up in a kind of... Very normal but very lonely environment, with a nuclear family and not that many friends or relatives. This is why she kind of got culture shock when she first arrived at Vivid Street and notice how tight-knit the community was, to the point where she thought some of those people loved each other more than her parents loved each other and that she actually really missed something like this in her life. Striving to be part of a community, even if she herself wasn't really musically inclined, is a huge reason of why she stayed there.

- She helped that one "sexy onee-chan" npc (sorry) kindergarten teacher to get into college! They have weekly cafe meetups where they discuss their students and teaching methods; Yuka kind of sees her as her student as well, and vice versa.

- She has ADHD, and she's also the one who passed it down to An. Yuka was both comforted by recognising her own behaviours and mannerisms in An and very worried, because she was afraid An would have to face the same struggles she did; but in a lot of ways her own experience with it helped her give An coping mechanism and strategies that worked for her and the reason she had a very happy childhood overall. Yuka herself wasn't so lucky.

- Not a single gift she ever got for Ken on any holiday hasn't been at least a little embarrassing, from awkward jewellery to socks with hand embroidery. Yuka enjoys making him cringe but accept the gifts anyway because she finds it absolutely hilarious. Nagi and An did as well; Ken, not so much.

tl;dr: I love Yuka Shiraishi, even though I literally thought Ken was a single father for a year and that still remains one of my favourite AUs. I hope her sprite is absolutely hilarious.

[amiharana]

currently declining to study for bio and am instead thinking about college au revalink where they have an apartment together because they are such Boyfriends and link is a bio major because he just Loves Nature but he's struggling with studying (can you see the self projecting😁🙏) he definitely has gifted kid burnout

meanwhile revali is a major perfectionist like if he gets below a 90 on anything he wants to start crying and tbh even a 90-95 is too low for him, don't ask me what he majors in though idk

anyways they are struggling together but link is just not having a good time and is stressing out studying so much he forgets to take care of himself so revali has to get him to remember things like eating regularly or showering or sleeping ANYWAYS i just felt like projecting onto revalink🫶

as a fellow bio major with gifted kid burnout who doesn't wanna study for bio (can you believe i still have a fucking bio lab due tomorrow. it's spring break for me rn. blasphemy.), i 'm 100% all for this projection COUNT ME IN!

link is totally a nature guy but i lowkey feel like he would make a great veterinarian 🥺 he's just a little guy who loves his silly little creatures 🥺🥺🥺 what do you think about revali going to flight school to be a pilot 😳 like i think if revali wasn't doing something viciously intense like. becoming a neurosurgeon or some shit, anything related to aviation is absolutely right up his alley. DEF agree with him being a perfectionist. a 99.9% will make revali lose his shit, he'll be in his professor's office hours taking up the whole time just arguing why he deserves a 103%

link brings home strays all the time and gives revali the 🥺 eyes, and revali is very weak for both link and a cute little creature, but he has to be the voice of reason since they realistically cannot take care of a pet full-time with how demanding school is on both of them. so to compromise, they foster the strays and take care of them with the local vet until they can be taken to a shelter for adoption. link gets hands-on experience which is good for his vet program but he also cries his eyes out every time they send off one of the animals because those are his babies 🥺 link with his strays is that one tiktok that's like BITCH I'M A MOTHER!!!!! NO DRAMA!!!!!

to deal with link's post-foster pet depression, zelda brings her puppy terrako to their apartment to let link cry and play with him, while revali just rolls his eyes (and secretly is looking into surrounding shelters and pet stores to find the perfect pet for the both of them once school isn't so intense for them anymore 🥺)

do you think they have study dates at a cafe or do they stay home and rot in the living room studying together? because i love the idea of study dates but if link is a bio major looking to become a vet and reval is an aviation student trying to become a pilot, these bitches must be stressed out of their mind i think. the week before finals week they're camping out in the living room and haven't slept in their bedroom for a couple days, the room is covered in papers and diagrams and books and pens and markers and flashcards and sticky notes. revali's hair is a mess which is a rare occasion, and it's held up by one of those hair claw clips, he has his glasses on, meanwhile link is lying facedown on the floor having his third breakdown of the hour. in this au i'm thinking that revali is a decent enough cook but neither of them have the energy or the time to go to the grocery store or kitchen to cook an actual meal, so they're living off of takeout and instant noodles for those two weeks. but revali definitely is the one in charge of time maintenance and prying link's ipad out of his hands to make him take a shower or drink water

it all pays off in the end because they both get high grades on their finals!!! link and revali cheer but immediately go to their bed, curl up around each other and sleep for the rest of the weekend because these bitches are exhausted 😭 hashtag ScholarLife

[theactualsunshinechild]

Seeing this post always immediately reminds me of a fun story from early on in my relationship that my partner and I affectionately refer to as

The Can Opener Incident

This was back in my college days. That semester I was living in a dorm that was more like a collection of small apartments on the very fringes of campus territory. My partner had come over to spend the night at my dormroom, and we were going about making some pasta in the little kitchenette. The pasta was already fully cooked and strained when we suddenly encountered a problem:

The canned pasta sauce I had bought was not a pop top, and rummaging around the kitchen for a can opener revealed that I had neglected to bring one.

Not one to settle for miserable, dry pasta on a cozy home date, I ran over to the dorm room next door and asked to borrow a can opener. They're a little startled to find someone knocking on their door at 9 PM, but they let me borrow it with no resistance. Upon bringing it back is when the problems truly began.

You see, all of my life I had used a can opener which you latched to the side of the can and twisted the knob to make the sharp ring cut into the top of the can vertically, parallel to the side of the can. This one looked similar, all the right parts were in the right places, so I gave it a shot... but nothing happened. My partner comes up and tells me I'm using it wrong, and I think to myself "oh, okay, so maybe he's used this kind of can opener before, I'll let him at it," and I hand it off to him.

The can opener my partner has used his whole life is the kind that you latch on to the TOP of the can, so instead of holding the handle at the side, you're holding it horizontally over the top of the can. I didn't know that kind of can opener even existed, so when he tried using this one his way, I looked at him like he was insane. This look quickly intensified as this method also didn't work. Things rapidly went downhill from there. He defensively explained the way his can opener at home worked, and I started pointing to the structure of the can opener and arguing why this one wouldn't work that way. We're a little frustrated, but it's nothing some pasta can't fix, so I propose I simply go over next door to the people who I borrowed the can opener from and ask them how to use it.

As I reached over to take it from him, he held it out of my reach.

"No! I'll figure it out myself!" He announced.

"What? Why? It's easier to just ask the owner," I argue, jumping around trying to get at the items.

"Because I can figure it out!"

Okay. Fine. I guess he wants to solve this like some kind of puzzle for enrichment. I give up and I wait. The fiddling begins. I'm standing there watching him try increasingly improbable methods of getting that thing to work over and over. The pasta is getting cold. He's testing methods that have already proven not to work, trying new methods that physically couldn't work, then trying the ones that have already failed us all over again. My stomach growls.

"We should really just ask," I grumble, hungry and frustrated.

"No, I've got this."

He does not fucking got this. I want my goddamn food and I do not have time for this puzzle solving.

"Give it here."

"No."

"I'm just gonna take it to the owners and ask them to show us how to use it, you can come with."

"No! I want to figure out out myself!!"

"And I want my food god fucking damn it!!"

This went on for a bit. The pasta was drying to the side of the pot and getting crusty. At some point during this yelling match I got so pissed off that I stormed out of my own apartment into the cold with no coat on.

'I need to make him see reason!' I thought to myself, making my way through the snow. One building over was where two of his friends were rooming together. I knock on their door, boiling with rage. It is 10 PM.

"Hey, can you come over? [Partner] is being completely unreasonable and obstinate over figuring out how a can opener we borrowed works and won't let me take it to the owner to ask. Please help me convince him to hand it over, I'm literally too short to wrestle it from him."

"Alright, let me grab my coat."

We head back over to my place to find my partner Still Messing Around with that godforsaken can opener.

"Let me see that for a second," says his friend, taking his coat off. I experienced a moment of relief, thinking to myself, 'Finally!' as my partner pouted for a second, but relinquished the can opener.

This peaceful glorious relief fizzled out into horror as his friend began to try to open the can the same way I had.

"That's weird. It really looks like it should work this way..." he mutters.

"Try it from the top, that's how my parents' works," my partner suggests.

"No no, that won't work, just give me a second to figure it out."

Oh my fucking god.

I stared blankly, watching them study the can opener and turn the can this way and that, both completely absorbed in finding the solution to this hour long problem. I was going to lose my fucking mind. Perhaps in that moment I really did. Shellshocked, I stood, wondering how it had come to this. I just wanted some fucking pasta and a relaxed night in, and instead I've gotten these goddamn STEM majors milling around in my kitchen at 10:25 PM arguing over how to use a can opener that isn't even mine. So I went and did what, in retrospect, I should have done ages ago: I went next door for help.

I can't imagine what my neighbor must have thought of me, showing up over an hour after borrowing their can opener, looking as if something inside of me had died, and, with a hint of desperation in my eyes, begging them tearfully to come next door and show us all how to use their can opener. Over an hour after borrowing it.

Well, whatever they thought of it all, they did oblige my pleas. Their arrival thankfully broke up the debate, and as all three of us watched intently as hawks over their shoulder, they cracked open that can of pasta for us.

Using it the exact same way I had tried at the start of it all.

It was just dull.

"I don't need a shopping list; with effort, I will remember that I need this item"

Okay but will you be able to remember that you already bought it? Because apparently I can't.

[summonademon]

So I just remembered this completely unhinged ABO story I had prepared for another fandom but I really want to share it because guys I think I was cooking.

So once upon a time there were two Beta single-parents who fell in love and merged families. The mom has an older son and the dad has a younger son. They get along really well and they do absolutely everything together.

For plot reasons, the dad dies and the mom has to work a lot in order to support them. Thus, the brothers get a lot of alone time together. Lil bro, having lost his bio dad, becomes incredibly attached to his older brother. Older brother wants to protect him at all costs. It's just the two of them against the world...

Time passes, older kid presents as alpha. Younger bro has a bit of a crisis because someday his bro is gonna get married have kids and leave him. Meanwhile older bro is battling his alpha instincts and protectiveness/possessiveness over his own brother. Basically they both have the feelings but they misinterpret these as something else because they're obvs step-bros no shit

They both take part-time jobs to help their mom and the Alpha bro moves out for college. By now they've both realized they might have feelings but they would never ever confess, so they just need to get over it. They really miss each other tho. They try dating other people but Alpha just doesn't feel like it tbh. Meanwhile younger bro is kind of a slag ngl, tho it doesn't last in the long term. (Alpha can smell it off him tho and it drives him crazy)

Alpha graduates and starts working, meanwhile the younger bro starts college and moves in with him coz he lives closer. They're super happy to be living with each other again and easily fall into a routine. The domestic bliss makes them feel the feelings ofc but they bury those deep inside.

And then the younger brother presents as an Omega and everything goes to shit.

Alpha comes home to the apartment and it reeks of heat pheromones. His brother has made a nest in the Alpha's bed and begs him to join him. Alpha has a moment of clarity and locks him in from the outside, resisting his every Alpha instinct. Instead he just camps outside the door because protective-instincts and also to hopefully give off calming pheromones.

The heat ends and they can't even look at each other. Omega just locks himself inside his room aside from work and school. Alpha takes up longer hours and does nothing but eat-sleep-work. He tells a close friend about everything that's happened and he gets sone much-needed advice.

You might be wondering why do the pheromones work on family members? Well, chat, that's because they're step-brothers and their parents are betas. Betas can't mate-bond so biologically, their alpha/omega offspring don't recognize each other as siblings. If anything, these two have had an unhealthy attachment to one another for many years, so their biology is just pushing them in the direction of a presumably compatible person. Yeah, I know, that is incredibly fucked up, but hey, it's all just fiction, folks. Live a little.

Anyways, after a lot of thinking, Alpha calls his bro to the kitchen for a one-on-one talk.

In short, he needs to move out.

Omega immediately starts crying like do you hate me now??? He's spiraling. Remember, these two are low-key codependent, nobody wants to be leaving the other, but unmated alphas/omegas shouldn't be living with each other for obvious reasons. Now Alpha is so incredibly stressed by Omega's flood of distressed pheromones, holy shit. What are they gonna do now?

~~~

I haven't written the rest, but do you see the vision????

Man I love it when stories are fucked up in a way that only fanfiction can pull off. It's a shame I'm not in that fandom anymore, sigh.

[surveysand]

fifty-one.

Do you wear lipgloss, lipstick, chapstick or nothing at all? i wear chapstick frequently. i use lipstick and lipgloss on rare occasions.

What’s one thing that has pissed you off in the past five days? issues with making payments for my new apartment.

Do you say ‘flexible’ or ‘bendy’? flexible. i only use "bendy" when talking about straws, lol.

Are you wearing a belt right now? no.

Are your feet propped up on something? no.

Do you worry about things that aren’t your responsibility? yes.

How often do you say ‘ain’t’ or ‘y’all’? i say "y'all" frequently, but use "ain't" much less frequently.

Can you do a cartwheel somewhere in your house and not hit anything? yes.

Are your eyes wide, narrow or in between? in between.

Are you currently tired? If so, why? yes. i got drunk last night and fell asleep at a weird time, so i woke up around three am and haven't fallen back asleep yet. also, just haven't felt very good (physically or mentally) the past few days.

Have you seen the movie Avatar? If so, did you like it? Why or why not? no.

Do you know someone who has been kidnapped? no.

What have you sacrificed in the past year? my mental health just so i could graduate.

Do you state the obvious frequently? yes, lol.

Have you ever told someone that it would be better if they killed themself? no.

Are you emotionally sensitive? yes, though i put a guard up so others don't know.

What’s in your pockets, if anything? i don't have pockets.

Do you own a watch? i have an apple watch, but i never wear it. oops.

How do you feel when people talk about you as if you’re not in the room? annoyed. like, i'm right here.

Do you own a knife? for my kitchen, yes.

What’s your favourite vowel? a.

Aren’t cupcakes just basically mini cakes? Why not call them mini cakes instead?! but they're called cupcakes because they fit in a little cup. that's so cute, lol.

Have you ever told your parents to shut up before? yes, but only as a joke, lol.

Do you tend to correct people? yes.

What’s the stupidest thing that you have lied about? i've lied to uber drivers about what i do for a living, lol. it's fun to just make up non-harmful stuff to people who wouldn't know otherwise.

How many necklaces do you own? one.

Have you ever been to Forever 21? yes.

Have you ever tasted glue? no.

When’s the last time you inflicted pain upon yourself? a few weeks ago when i burned my finger while cooking.

Cruise ship or sail boat? cruise ship, though i hate both.

Do you know every word to the song you hate most? no.

Where were you at this time three days ago? in my apartment.

How do you take out your anger? crying then sleeping.

Have you ever woken up and your arms were sore, but you didn’t know why? yes. i sleep on them weird sometimes, i think.

Your name, list two different ways to spell it. i only know of one way (which i won't post for privacy reasons).

Do you prefer fridges with vertical doors? yes.

Are visitors allowed to smoke in your house? no.

What, about the economy, bothers you most? inflation.

Have you ever said ‘off the chain’? yes.

Do you put fruit in your cereal? i sometimes put bananas in cheerios.

Lime green lights or orange lights? lime green.

[theboardwalkbody]

Me, a younger millennial, used to housing prices for a 3bd 1ba 1000sqft house built in the 1950s or earlier and never renovated being a starting minimum of 750,000 dollars: *sees a 4bd, 2ba 1200sqft house with updates and an inground pool listed for 550,000*

My first reaction: omg maybe housing prices are coming down! Maybe I will be able to afford a house one day!

My second reaction: .... Ok what's wrong with it why is it so much less than the average price for the area?

Boomers and older Gen-Xers: HAHA this is a joke, right? 550,000 is way too much for that sized home you have horrible business practices, it'll never sell.

That's how out of touch they are. They're freaking out about a house being listed 200,000 under average for the area and saying it's too much.

It is too much. That price is still too high for that sized home, yes.

But it goes to show that so many of them still think houses are listing at 150,000 to 300,000 because that's what they got THEIR homes for and they never have needed to look for a new place to live at all in the last several years.

My grandma and grandpa purchased the land and built the house on it (the land was put up for collateral). They built a 3bd 1ba ranch style home. It has an unfinished basement, a rough (barely floored) attic, a one car garage, and they added a den on the back off the living room. It's on a quarter acre of property. They spent 20,000.

20,000

Homes in our neighborhood, with all roughly the same attributes, are going for 750,000 to 850,000. Add taxes on that. I'm not good with math but I'm sure you're looking at, if not sightly over, 1mil.

1 million dollars for a house held together with duct tape (I'm not even joking) because it hasn't been kept up with since my grandfather passed away in the 70s. Original outdated layout, original electric (half the rooms only have two prong outlets), original metal plumbing (hopefully not lead but idk what was used in 1958) instead of the now standard PVC, and a bunch of 60yr old tree roots eating into the plumbing outside.

Oh and property taxes? If you wanted to pay less than 15,000 a year in property taxes this isn't the town for you. Because it's a "commuter" town! It's got trains and ferries and buses and two elementary schools and two middle schools and two high schools and it's only an hour from NYC and Philly and Atlantic City and 5 minutes from the beach!

But 15k apparently can't fix the pot holes. It can build a brand new police station and town hall, however! Oh, and it also can't keep the library operating for more than like 6 hours a day in the summer.

We have a bunch of abandoned stores. Most of them food joints/restaurants. But we keep on building banks, for some reason. Every time a bank gets built another retail place (or two mom and pop shops) die.

So 20,000 to 1mil.

How?

And the fun thing? The layout (and 1 bathroom thing) is outdated and no longer functional for the modern family. There's 5 adults living in the house. We're CONSTANTLY fighting for the bathroom. The kitchen is small and if you want to not feel claustrophobic then you can be the ONLY one in the kitchen. Otherwise it's just too tight. We had to swap the dining room and the living room around because the dining room table, made for 6 people, didn't fit in the dining room they had built. My bedroom doubles as an office because there's no space to put it elsewhere, computers didn't exist when the house was designed. The den doubles as my parents' office. The basement is storage AND a pantry because the "pantry" in the kitchen is a foot wide, a foot deep, and 6ft high. It really doesn't fit much. Some of our kitchen cookware is on a shelf in the laundry room because there's not enough cabinet space. The original wall oven is, well, falling out of the wall. The door doesn't shut all the way so heat leaks from it and the cabinet above it is singed from years of heat leakage on to it.

But to update it to be a little more functional? To knock down a wall to make the bedrooms a foot wider and add a bathroom and make the kitchen a little bigger? To bring the plumbing, electric, and heat/AC up to a functional level for 2023?

400,000 dollars.

Which is STILL more than the cost of a whole entire house back when boomers and older genXers bought their homes.

400,000 dollars being half the estimated cost of what the house would sell for.

So it's kinda at a point where they're like, why bother spending that much money and why not just sell it and get something already fixed up?

But who can afford either option?

[king-of-tragedy]

Not a proper essay and everything is up for debate...but I personally feel like a combination of the Click-esque production and the Neotheater-ish lyrics and sound give the impression of a unified Click/Neotheater ~vibe~

In reality, these two albums are probably siblings, they have a lot in common. 100 Bad Days could easily fit into the Click due to it's boisterous production level, and Call My Dad's heartbreaking and honest lyrics would be right alongside Dear Winter. But I feel the Click has more influence on Inertia with the energy, while Neotheater has more influence on Inertia with the story.

The happy, bouncy, open-spaced energy one gets from the production is reminiscent of songs such as Bud Like You, Overture...I'd even argue Weak and Turning Out. I'd consider songs of the Click more like 'party songs', aka songs that move and songs that want to make you move. (Obviously there are exceptions, I'm basing this off of my general impressions of the Click.) There are 'party songs' in Neotheater, but significantly less compared to the Click. I'd argue that Neotheater are songs meant to get you to listen/sing more than dance.

Neotheater is a lot older than the Click in terms of what it wants to say. The Click attempts to talk about mature themes, but tackles it in a very basic way, whereas in Neotheater, the boys hit the target much more accurately in terms of emotionality. I think it's because Neotheater started to reach out towards their audience? Anyone can make a song about drama or not being famous, but there's a special kind of human connection when one sings about Not Being In Love. (Turning Out was the bridge between the Click and Neotheater, which tracks, as I find it the most mature song on the Click.)

The reason why it's these two specific albums instead of Living Room or OKO is because Living Room had a drier, emptier sound to it (early AJR still finding their way) and OKO was all over the place (AJR experimenting with a new sound?) They both carry the classic AJR "weirdness" and unique lyricism, but they don't sound Whole. I don't think there's a way to describe this normally...just trust me when I say The Click feels Whole, Neotheater feels Whole, and Inertia feels Whole. (Not every TMM song is Whole, by the way.)

Inertia carries traits from both albums! I think the explosiveness and melodic-ness of the production instills in the listener and urge to groove. The chorus in particular just makes me want to go feral. 10/10 excellent dancing and party song, I can't listen to it while I'm cooking because I will end up prancing around my kitchen. Same thing with Drama, Overture, and Weak.

Additionally, the lyrics are so fucking heartfelt. Holy crap. The bridge is reminiscent of Karma's finale: panicking, full of emotion, so incredibly honest. Happy music to depressing message? A Birthday Party/The Entertainment's Here's move if I do say so myself. Inertia has a focus on pants, while Neotheater has a song about Lego. The story Inertia tells is so human, AJR isn't just reaching a hand out to the audience, they're packing up and moving into their brains.

Also, taking the time to mention that the beginning is incredibly like Neotheater. My first thought upon listening to Inertia was "oh hey! We're back to Neotheater vibes!" It's an old-time feel distorted to a hip-hoppish sound.

Just in general, Inertia sounds like a fusion of Bud Like You, Drama, Weak, Break My face, 100 Bad Days, Birthday Party. And uh. Yeah.

I'm not sure if this was the intent you were going for when you made this post, but that's what I think of when I hear Inertia. The party-boy production of the Click meeting the maturation and honesty of Neotheater. It's metaphorically taking some of the color of The Click and swirling it around with Neotheater, creating a whole new color of one of the best songs on the album.

Inertia by AJR is the perfect culmination of The Click and Neotheater in this essay I will

[thisismehappy]

Olivia's Apartment: A study with terrible gifs

Season 15/Early 16

Seems like the back door leads to a bedroom, but you never see it so that's debatable. Brian said it was a small apartment which would seem to imply one bedroom, but it's not explicit. When Noah has been with her for four months already, she had his crib in the living room which also kinda implied there was only one bedroom. When she opens the door for Melinda there are not big lights in the hallway which we'll look at more later.

Late Season 16

Partway though season 16 the crib moves so that it's visible through the back door which is a little confusing. Is that a bedroom? Is he sleeping in a little vestibule area? In this scene there are now the big lights in the hallway that we see when Elliot shows up in OC 2x03.

Season 17-19

Partway though season 17 the back door starts showing a shelf instead of a crib. We only ever see a bedroom in this apartment in season 19 and it's Noah's. It opens to a little hallway that has a couple of doors. The implication I assume is that one is the back door we've seen since season 15 and the other is Liv's room (never seen). When someone knocks at the door she goes through the one that seems like it's the backdoor to the apartment. But when she walks through it there's a chair and an end table but when she lets the lady in, it's the same shelf we've been seeing since season 17. (The Munch scene is from 18 and the scene with the lady is from 19 right after she walks out of Noah's room.) Also, when she lets the lady in, the door is brown instead of white like it is when Elliot shows up later, but I think we can say there were some upgrades over the years.

Season 22

As far as I can recall we don't see much of the apartment in 20 or 21 and if we did it wasn't much different. The apparent in this scene is pretty much the same as always, but I like that Liv's idea of decorating for Christmas is to just drape light over things. This looks like essentially the same furniture as when Elliot shows up. Same TV stand and couch I think and the same lamp the TV too, but there's a new giant fancy one in the next scene too which is maybe why it's brighter lol.

OC 2x03 (SVU Season 23)

Okay I thought this was a different apartment which is what started me on this whole road, but upon further review, it's the same one. The door is different (could have been upgraded) and as far as I know this is the first time we've gotten a full view of the hallway. But idk for sure about that. Someone let me know if I missed it before. Also, the walls seem whiter to me but it could be lighting or she painted. They were super white in season 16 though too. So if she painted, she's done it at least twice. I just realized it didn't make it into any of these gifs but the ugly brown chair Elliot sits in has been around since season 15. In the first shot we see when they're unpacking the apartment, it's there. I like to think it was Brian's chair that she adopted when he left. (No real reason except I enjoy the idea of Elliot sitting in Brian's chair lmao.) The lights above her kitchen island are a little different too I think, but again just could have been upgraded sometime. It's also just way cleaner, but maybe she was going through a phase. (Re: the brown chair. I thought I remembered seeing it in the new place but I only have 24x10 downloaded so far and I couldn't find it so I'm not sure if I imagined that or if it's in one of the other episodes.)

The 500th Episode (later in Season 23)

This looks like a completely different apartment to me. Now it is possible that the mystery door from Noah's hallway leads to an intensely long hallway that doesn't stylistically match the rest of the apartment, but it seems like maybe this is when she moved. Or the first time we would have seen evidence of it. I think this hallway could work with the new place as far as style and size. As far as I know, these are the most recent 3 times we've seen Liv's apartment, but I could be wrong about that so if anyone's still with me let me know if you've seen other things that support or refute this idea.

@rahleeyah - Just in case you're interested lmao. You were right about the apartment in OC 2x03. I think we were just seeing it from weird angles which threw me off lol.

[bruhstation]

You mentioned that we could ask about peoples childhood? I was wondering about diesel the bi Italian gamer himself?

don't forget catholic. ask and you shall receive!

from the very start, diesel is intended to be the foil to duck. they went through the same difficult circumstances, but the way they approached it was different.

giovanni vin diesel:

giovanni – nicknamed “giogio” (read: jojo) by his siblings – was born in sicily, italy to a family that runs a local restaurant. at the time giovanni was a kid, the restaurant has been running for around 5 generations. throughout his life prior to coming to sodor, he was always surrounded by his huge number of family members. his grandmother, parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, et cetera… they're always around both the restaurant and his home; cooking, serving, cleaning, basically anything. and giovanni is no exception to all of this, often told by his grandmother to help out at the kitchen after school.

at a young age giovanni realized how "traditional" his family is, constantly sticking to predetermined methods of doing things and rarely listening to suggestions or criticism that others give. whenever he's not cooking for customers, giovanni liked experimenting with old recipes and creating new ones, usually adding his own touches and substituting this ingredient with that ingredient. this didn't sit well with his grandmother who's extremely headstrong about the way things are done. giovanni tried to reason with her multiple times and wanted her to try his own recipes, but his grandmother didn't care about how much he put in effort and always pushed his attempts away.

his grandmother (and the rest of the vin diesel family) is also a very devout catholic, constantly praying for the lord and mother mary to forgive them of their sins (what did diesel ever do wrong?) and bless their lives (that's silly). this is another thing giovanni disagreed on, because he thought "why do people rely on the power of gods that may or may not exist? if we want to improve, we do it ourselves and we rejoice over it ourselves". diesel is very much for progress and the evolution of age, technology, and culture – and this do not sit well with his family. they never outright told him, but he's some kind of outcast in the household.

giovanni wanted to go to concerts and have fun. he didn't want to church and interact with the nosy churchgoers there. he wanted to have a walkman and decorate his room in posters and vinyl disks and go to arcades and actually make friends that understand him instead of making fun of how "weird" or "stubborn" he is. his friends are already having dates, going to the movies without their parents, and staying up past curfew. why can't he? giovanni felt ashamed, especially at how his friends treated him like he's some country boy and made fun of him.

when he was around 15 years old, giovanni tried running away from home. he just felt like doing it after having enough of his grandmother's discouragements and how his family never picked his side. he felt like there will never be a moment where anyone would side with him, so he made up his mind and wanted to live on his own. the moment giovanni set foot in rome, he regretted the decision because he realized he didn't know where to stay and that he didn't bring enough money with him.

a police stationed there took notice of giovanni, stating that someone is looking for him. his older sister actually got to rome faster than him and immediately dragged him back home, constantly berating him along the way. then his grandmother did, then the rest of his family did. he's then labeled the problem child, and since he lived in a tight-knit neighborhood, many believed that something bad happened in his family or that giovanni is actually a very difficult child to handle behind his polite demeanor. for a decade, it stayed that way. and for a decade, giovanni has always believed that his family was right in some ways.

he's just not fit for this kind of life. he needs to go somewhere far away, someplace where he can shine.

giovanni then turned 25. he graduated college and was still helping around the restaurant. his family kept pressuring him to look for a girl to marry and settle down with at his age. he's still not giving up on his goal to find a place where he doesn't have to deal with his family's extremely traditional (and borderline conservative) views and can do whatever he wanted to do.

one day, he found a flyer about the island of sodor.

[sparklingbluerose]

1P!Hetalia x Reader x 2P!Hetalia

One day, you had come across a pet shelter in which, you wanted to adopt a single cat. But instead of one, it seems all of them didn't want to let you go...

A/N: LEMME TELL YOU I ENJOYED THIS SO MUCH–

☆

TW: None! Have some very fluffy crack XD

GN! (Y/N) 《Other Genders Will Also Be Made》

☆

Ahahaha...it's just pure chaos, you don't know how it all suddenly happened but it did!

You seriously just wanted to adopt a cat. A single cat.

But why do you have like– 22 cats in your house? Oh yes, there's a very simple answer to all of that. You see, the cats just couldn't let you leave them 🥺

We have some very clingy ones, apparently. The owner explained no one has come to adopt any cat there in ages.

And as the very kind person you are, as usual you took all of them in no matter how hard it must be. Wow, what a nice person you are 🤡❤️

Sometimes it's hard, but hey, it was fun naming them.

You find it funny whenever they try to race into your bedroom very loudly to have you give them a bath.

Your house seems a lot more lively than usual because of them, and of course you don't mind. It was better than being alone for the rest of your life–

Feliciano often hides from Luciano, which always knocks over some of your furniture which you're devastated at.

Not all of them get along well but you try to...💀

Lots of eerie staring with Kiku and Kuro. Everytime they do it you just freak out at the cold auras radiating from them.

...You once tried calling 911 but remembered they're CATS.

Just you sitting sulking in the corner with all of the crazy cats and Ludwig tryna comfort you— good boi 👏

You always lock your bedroom door before sleeping because...you wake up to ripped sheets and a broken window + a running bathroom faucet. So yeah.

Never again will you adopt these hoes in your next life 🤡

Romano both loves and hates getting picked up by you. Like he goes from "PUT ME DOWN" to "i love you thanks"–

Honestly...sometimes you also have to admit that the cats can get a little weird. One time you woke up and went to make some breakfast but..

FELICIANO WAS INSIDE THE FRIDGE– WHAT?? ✋️💀

He was resting with the tomato sauce too. Oh, did he want some pasta? You still couldn't wrap your head around this..

Often times you'd see Flavio sleeping in a pile of your clothes as well. It was adorable but how'd he get in your-?

Ah, whatever. You'd let him anyways, it always seems like he likes being around outfits or sewing materials. Though it was kinda weird you guessed he just liked fashion or smth.

LMAO HELP YOU ALMOST BURNED KURO ON THE STOVE BECAUSE HE WAS CHILLING THERE–

He was camouflaged on the black stove lmao...😭

You would never forget that day when he looked at you with his red eyes in such disgust and rage-

But hey, you're on better terms now. All because you gave him some sushi and watched pokemon with him...well, whatever. As long as things are better.

Lutz and Gillen always like going on the table for some reason. Probably away from the dumbasses fighting–

You won't admit, you love seeing them get along.

...Honestly it's refreshing because of the daily cat chaos, just having a break from seeing all of that madness.

Same is true with Allen and Oliver whenever you cook something nice or bake some desserts. They love the smell and just watch you be peaceful with yourself 🌮🍪

..You think Arthur hates you. No, he's just a tsundere babes there's no need to worry. Don't be sad the next time he tries to wriggle out of your fluffy hugs–

Luciano also once napped beside some kitchen knives of yours but let's not talk about that...👁👄👁

All of them are so strange but you love them anyway.

"waIT ZAO DON'T DRINK THAT, THAT'S ALCOHOL–" ...that was definitely a day to remember.

Sometimes Zao and Yao don't get along. But when you tell them to they gladly oblige because you're...

#thebestownertohaveeverexisted ❤️

Also, mind you but maybe it would be a better idea to never let Francis inside your room ever again. Once he takes a liking to napping on your bed he WON'T GET OUT.

You act like the mom of everyone. But it's still true because you have to stop Francoiş from scratching Matthew.

Poor little cat is scared for his life...and you always have to pull them away from each other before Mattheiu joins in.

Also you don't wanna be around Ivan or Viktor all the time.

Dudes have such bad aura's and it freaks you out so much. You just probably hide in your room when that happens.

But Alfred just runs beside you and hides with you. Heck, ALL OF THEM DO. It surprises you how much they're freaking out more than you...oh wait, they're cats too.

You feed them all the food they like, but if it includes something they shouldn't eat you just give them smth else.

KIKU CUDDLES YOUR FOOT AAAAA 😭💞

He doesn't liked being touched but maybe when you nonchalantly just say–

"If you want you can just sit beside me or smth.." Look if you just say yes you'll have the best cat in the world. I wish i had a pet like this. They're feral.

Cuddle nights! Happens every Friday and Saturday. You just put up a movie hugging yourself on the couch then boo–

Gilbert sits on your head. He's a light cat somehow.

Then you suddenly have like...everyone sitting beside you.

But aww 🥺 you love them so much, you know that you can't ask for any better.

"Look, you guys. Stop fighting i love you all so much and i could never ask for a better life i'm happy that ya'll are here and that i won't be alone the entire time–"

You said all that in one breath. The cats appreciate you, homie. Never let them go.

Love them please, they deserve all of it 💖

(THIS IS LONG– but it means i enjoyed it XD)

Taglist: @stygianoir

[thatbassistbitch]

hi milo i am here to say i would also like to hear more about racoon science boy tommy au <3

well the au itself isn't specifically about artificial shifter tommy, he's just one facet of it. however! i think you'll be delighted to know how he and techno form their bond. you see, when wilbur first brought tommy home, phil and techno were less than pleased. wilbur had been cleaning out the guest room, his excuse being that he wanted to have a friend over sometime soon. what they did not know is that by friend, he meant new legal little brother. techno does not like abrupt change. it scares him, though he refuses to admit it and instead calls it an inconvenience. techno is all about good change! if he can control his place in it. but new little brother? now he is no longer the little brother. Upsetting. so when he sees wilbur carry in a wide-eyed, bushy-tailed kid and sets him loose in the living room, proudly displaying legal documents and promising an entire bedroom to this strange new child, techno is far from happy about this development. especially as tommy skids into his stack of books and knocks it over. phil and wilbur have a row over it in the kitchen, leaving techno to deal with tommy on his own. tommy is loud, he finds. very loud. and annoying. and just plain weird. where the hell did wilbur even find this kid? how did he forge these documents? why havent any social workers questioned this? what the hell is going on here? tommy snatches an apple off the table with a curious chitter and sinks his little teeth into it, crouching on the floor like a gremlin as he gets juice everywhere, and techno scoots his chair away so he can at least pretend to focus on his homework. he'll be in highschool with wilbur soon, he doesn't need to deal with all of this.

phil and wilbur come back out of the kitchen, wilbur looking rather proud of himself and phil seemingly resigned to his fate. tommy has started whining about his sticky hands (as if it isn't his own damn fault for tearing an apple into pieces with his bare hands like some sort of heathen) and wilbur scoops him up, not even minding the juice and pulp getting on his jacket as he whisks the kid to the kitchen to wash him up. phil and techno share a knowing look: this won't end well, will it? tommy is somehow extremely educated and extremely uneducated at the same time. he doesn't know what a banana is, for gods' sake. techno tries to explain the bananas, the reason why banana candy doesnt taste like real bananas, and the banana wars before realizing that tommy is seven years old at the most and probably doesn't understand even half of what he's saying. but to his surprise, tommy nods and tries to bite into the banana peel. techno has to show him how to peel it. even a baby monkey can peel a banana, right? tommy eats the peel anyway and techno has to try not to gag. tommy is messy. techno does not like messy. the little gremlin keeps getting in his stuff, asking what everything is and why, and techno has to keep reminding himself that this is a child, children are naturally curious, and children should not be thrown out of windows. he's tempted though. part of him wants to ask his behind-the-fence nemesis if he wants a new little brother, if he could trade him for some potatoes. not that squid would go for it. too sentimental about his potatoes. it will be his undoing. tommy is loud, messy, and annoying. he asks too many questions for techno to keep up with, and somehow, phil is acting like all of this is normal. he still makes them banana pancakes and waves to wilbur and techno before they leave for school, drops tommy off at his therapy/daycare, and presumably goes to work at...wherever it is that phil works. techno doesn't ask, nobody does. they know better, even little tommy. that's the one question he doesn't seem to ask. but it's so annoying to have to explain the differences between a tomato and an apple (just because they're both fruits and happen to be red does not mean they are the same thing! they hardly have any other similarities!). however, eventually tommy asks just the right question, and techno's perception of him completely shifts.

it happens on a rainy saturday, just after lunch. techno is reading his favorite book, a collection of greek myths. he peeks over the top of his book when he spots movement, and he's greeted by the sight of little tommy creeping towards him on all fours, ears flat and tail out straight behind him. "what's that?" the boy chitters. as if it isn't obvious. "a book, dummy," techno grunts as he quickly flips the cover towards tommy and then back against his knees. tommy huffs in annoyance, as if techno is the annoying one in this situation. "i know that," he complains, "but what kind? what field is it in?" tommy has a knack for sounding really whiney sometimes, techno thinks. all he wants is to read his book in peace, but no. wilbur just had to run off with his friends and leave him here to babysit the brat. "it's fiction, tommy. greek mythology." techno keeps his voice flat and calm, trying not to show his growing irritation. but as always, one question leads to another, and he braces himself for an interrogation.

”what’s mythology?” tommy asks, sitting on his haunches. “i know some greek, but i’ve never heard that word before. and what’s fiction? i never seen a fiction book before.“ his eyes light up and he wags his tail. “oh! is it like greek history? are you reading about sparta and athens and all that cool shit?” techno blinks at him in shock. it takes him a moment to find his words.

”uh, yeah, something like that.“ what kind of kid doesn’t know about fiction? “fiction is made up stuff.“

”like lies?“ tommy tilts his head.

”not exactly. it’s for fun. imagination, all that good stuff.” techno taps the spine of his book. it’s gilded along the cover and the edges of the pages, a very expensive book that took a whole year’s worth of his allowance to buy. “it’s got some mention of sparta and athens, but it’s mostly about the greek gods.“ yet another question seems to practically burn on tommy’s tongue.

”how does it start?” tommy asks. something clicks deep in techno’s head. he sits up abruptly, and tommy skitters back a bit.

”you know what? how about i just read it to you?” techno proposes. a new kind of eagerness creeps into his voice, and tommy picks up on that energy right away. his tail flails frantically behind him and he makes grabby hands, chittering in excitement as techno flips to the first page and clears his voice.

”in the beginning, there was only chaos…”

wilbur makes it home before dad for once. dad must be working late, he figures. hopefully techno hasn‘t tried to trade tommy to the neighbors again while he was gone. wil chuckles to himself as he wipes the mud off his shoes on the welcome mat at the front door, and when he opens it, he’s greeted by the warmth of the fireplace, the smell of tea and candles, and…talking? huh. tommy and techno talking. how odd. wilbur kicks off his shoes and haphazardly shoves them somewhere among the pile by the coat rack and slowly makes his way to the living room. the sight he finds awaiting him is no less than shocking.

techno stands tall on the coffee table, donning a tin-foil helmet and brandishing a wooden sword in one hand, his old book in the other. he’s dramatically reading aloud to an entranced tommy, who kneels on the ground below him with his own little helmet a cardboard shield.

“the labyrinth was long and winding, but theseus knew not to be afraid!” techno narrates, an excited gleam in his eyes. “the huffing of the minotaur taunted him at every turn, until…” he abruptly shifts into his boar form, his tusks shimmering in the light of the fire and his tail flicking excitedly behind him. “the beast leapt out at him! raaagh!” he jumps off the coffee table and tosses tommy the sword, chasing him around the couch in circles. the little boy cackles with glee as he dashes around. wilbur watches from the kitchen with interest as techno narrates the fight, expertly dodging tommy’s clumsy blows until the boy jabs right into the open space between techno’s arm and side. the boar gags dramatically and stumbles to the ground, his tongue hanging out as tommy cheers and jumps around on the furniture.

”wilby! wilby, i slayed the minotaur!” he yells, running into the kitchen to throw his arms around his big brother. wilbur chuckles and pats the boy’s back.

”i saw that! you’re quite a fierce little warrior, aren’t you?“ wilbur praises. he looks back at techno, whose face is flushed with embarrassment as he hides the sword behind his back.

”j-just keeping him out of trouble,” techno mutters.

”uh-huh, sure. i’m positive dad will be thrilled about you two climbing the furniture,” wilbur replies snarkily. tommy and techno both go pale.

”don’t tell him, wilby!” tommy begs. “please! techno was being nice for once! please please please don’t tell!” how can wilbur argue with that?

”i’ll write that essay for you,” techno insists. “don’t be a snitch, man.” well, if he wasn’t already sold before, he sure is now.

”alright,” wilbur resigns with a dramatic sigh. “better hop to it then.” techno’s eyes widen as he realizes what just happened. he huffs and puts the sword on the table, shuffling to his room to grab his textbooks and some paper.

”wilby, wilby! did you know that there was a lady with snakes for hair?” tommy tugs on his sleeve excitedly. “and a big ol goose flew down and it was the thunder guy! and uh, his wife is mean! are all wives mean?” he stops and thinks for a moment. “wilby, what’s a wife?” techno looks annoyed once more as he returns with his materials.

”weren’t you paying attention to anything? that ‘thunder guy’ is zeus, dummy.” he slams his books on the table and glares at the boy. “and honestly? hera had every right to be a jerk when her husband was such a sleazy piece of-“

the two go right back to bickering, but there’s not as much bite to techno’s voice anymore. wilbur smiles and fixes up three mugs of hot chocolate. tommy seems to be fitting in just fine.