#also the group name crying
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
introvertgoat · 1 year ago
Text
ooouuu
me: is depressed
my twt acc: suspended
r u next finale: jiwoo jeemin jeongeun (aka the talented girlies) all eliminated and 2 minors in the lineup 🤕🤕
Tumblr media
#real talk: wanna kms rn#life isn’t living#first two aren’t new developments but the third??#oh belift/hybe are going to hell bcs they love being sleazy 😍#aside from them already eliminating the star of all stars miss chanelle thomas i actually can’t believe they’d let go of jiwoo and jeemin#of all people 😭😭#like#you have an incredible main vocalist who can actually sing and erm lbr hybe needs more idols who can yk actually sing#and LITERALLY THEIR BEST TRAINEE?? jeemin has been consistently topping the rankings every time and 4th place for the finale was good !! but#of course the stupid and frankly disgusting 70% votes for koreans vs the 30% for intls skewed the scale so badly#and when u add in the fact that only 2 of the finalists were audience picks and the other 4 were the company picks … 🫤🫤🫤#also the group name crying#what the fuck is i’ll-it 😭#that’s a HORRIBLR NAME#and i though the name for queendom puzzle was bad#i mean it still is but this is js 🤐#when the announced it i suddenly felt relieved that chanelle and tripl j were debuting under that group name 😋🫶#but it’s the way i was so blindsided by jeemin not debuting BYE like the anger i feel rn …#jiwoo?? my bbg has more talent in her pink than the bitch lee hyun has in his entire nasty body#but the way the show has been going clued me in on that she most likely wouldn’t make it bcs bitches love being ageist and ignoring talent#BUT JEEMIN?? SHE DESERVED BETTER 😣😣😣#they’re all most likely leaving hybe too good riddance#laughing at the way most intl fans are wishing on the groups downfall calling them flops like they’re MAD#and rightfully so like bye hybe ur debuting a bunch of flops aside from yunah and minju my beloveds 😘#i wish them all the success but yk#i won’t even talk abt W bcs her fans r probably lurking on here ��😭#need jaden jeong to hook up my girlies w triple s !! they’ll make good music and show off their skills#crying again cbs the way jiwoo said this was her last chance most likely for a debut … i’m burning hybe down idc idc#fuckers need a good vocalists and yet they’re not running after the lost opportunity ??#screw the judges too except aiku bcs they rlly realized how much they fumbled the bag at the finale LMAO
5 notes · View notes
emfraid · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
Narinder after Aym and Baal move out
83 notes · View notes
mushroominaforest · 2 months ago
Text
So okay I know I was literally just whining about school a bunch but it is definitely awesome to get to see all my (and I do have some, believe it or not) friends again! The one I was worried about was actually super chill so I think it’s fine now lol. She does have beef with my other friends though and she does still hate the friend I maybe sorta have a tiny crush on.
(Okay so that friend that I might have a crush on held my hand today when we were walking to English class and I stg I was moments away from spontaneously combusting.)
Tumblr media
(Ignore the messy drawing lol)
She’ll be yapping about something that annoyed her meanwhile I am no longer breathing and by some miracle she remains completely oblivious.
She keeps doing stuff like this and that’s why we had so many dating allegations last year lmfao
50 notes · View notes
chiimeramanticore · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i had a great time at the hicksville grand reopening! extra thank you to everyone who said hi to me today, everyone there was so nice 💖 can't wait to visit this stage many, many, many more times in the future!
(also expect footage up on youtube soon 👀)
13 notes · View notes
microwave-core · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
very normal conversation i started last night while having an existential crisis
11 notes · View notes
adaines-furious-feast · 7 months ago
Text
Honestly, the way Kipperlilly dealt with her anger issues makes me feel a whole lot better about how I dealt (or didn't) with mine.
2 notes · View notes
hauntingblue · 7 months ago
Text
YAMATO NEW NAKAMA PLEASE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️LUFFY PLEASE!!!!
#do kaido and big mom end up in the same hole??? lmaoo yamato get luffy!!! hell yes!!!#now a military trial for all the beast pirates come on!!! everyone to udon jail#APOO IS STILL ALIVE???. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!#i understand law is not on a state to be a medic but marco.... pick up some slack....#toko :((( no fucking way they are coming out of the hole..... they aren't.... the better not....#HIYORI!!!! no reunion??? :((#tama first girl to adopt a mother... also why do they have the same eyes... also is nami not enough for you.... or luffy.... your uncle...#hiyori girl dont kneel.... thats your 8 year old brother.... tama backstory omg.... tama dont cry omg.... she's gonna make me cry too...#izo is dead for real.... he was shown on the dead people highlight reel.... omg.... kinemon looking like a proud dad...#that hiyori and momo reunion.... i need more... what was that....#episode 1078#talking tag#watching one piece#who tf is that talking to the cp0...#hawkins is alive.... oh now he regrets it.... now he is dead... well.....#can't believe izo is dead... marco saying he cant believe he is alive... WELL YOU FOUGHT TWO TIMES AND THEM DID FUCK ALL WHILE IZO DIED????#i am so mad at this man you dont understand. HIYORI DROPKICKED MOMO AJSHAJA YEAHHH!!!#luffy and zoro waking up at the same time... it started with them too... oof#in my bliss of luffy winning and gear 5 and all i hadn't realised my pink haired samurai hasn't appeared in a while... i fear the worst....#i love how luffy having a meal is animated like a fight... omg zoro too... using his three head technique...#nami being the first to hit momo akdjaks. well deserved also#yamato not bathing or eating for zoro and luffy and hiyori bathing zoro ajdhskjs. omg this looks like sanji is jealous FA-#nami having to think hard about who bathes where lmao sanji and brook need an execution#OTAMA WHAT ARE YOU DOING AJDHSJSHSJ ME ASF ALSO SORRY. also where tf is robin. DID THEY TAKE HER??? oh nvm there is another group...#kid you are so right he is annoying. kill him. come on!!! SAKAZUKI DIE!!!! they just wanna make me mad atp... ALSO WHERE IS ROBIN??#episode 1079#why is there a country with a giant picture of sabo in their clock tower lmaoo#luffy looks so little beside yamato omg.... omg soul king brook ft kozuki hiyori rock version.... AND I DONT GET TO HEAR IT????#robin with her poneglyphs of course.... AND BROOK OWES HER TWO MORE!!!!#MOMOS GRANDFATHER???? AND HE TOOK CARE OF TAMA WHO HAS ORICHIS LAST NAME!!!
6 notes · View notes
Text
I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.
#Like in fairness I was in an incredibly abusive environment already#Questioning my gender was the last fuckin thing I needed so I was just like “that's a problem for later”#Butttttttttt... Now I've got no idea what I'm doing#Like I've cut my hair??? I like looking like a boy????#But I also know that a few months ago I was straight up wearing floor length skirts on the daily and braiding my hair with flowers??????#and my definition of “boy” and “man” is so inherently fucked up bc of the abuse that I'm unwilling to actually use those words???#And I chose the name I use for a reason as a promise (long story) but it's really feminine????#And it'd be nice if people would be ok with using two different names for me if it turns out I am genderfluid but?????#They almost certainly won't??????#Like most of them refuse to use my chosen name anyway and I'm just. To polite to correct them.#no I'm not canadien I'm british#Anyway help?#Bc I realised all this the other day LITERALLY AN HOUR before I went on stage and almost had a complete breakdown??????#good news is there's this trans boy in my performing arts group and he was so nice and supportive that I didn't cry in the end#much anyway but still?????? I procrastinated my fucking gender????????? And now I'm fuckin confused???????#Also I can now cosplay one of my OCs#So that's cool#Remember the name Becky Roberts guys#Like if I am trans for genderfluid or whatever it'll help next year with The Plan (which I may elaborate on if asked)#but also???? My parents still refuse to accept that I'm a lesbian if I tell them “yo I periodically become a boy”#They'll probably yell at me at BEST#“that's not a real thing!!!” NEITHER IS YOUR FAÇADE OF A HAPPY FAMILY BUT YOU BELIEVE IN THAT#*ahem* anyway yeah I'm struggling if anyone has any advice pls help#Oh and I've only told like one person I've cut my hair and I'm meeting up with a load of friends on Sunday#Bwhahahhahahahhah#help me#tw abuse mention#queer community
10 notes · View notes
shaykai · 1 year ago
Text
Not me crying over Baldur’s Gate 3, my Tav is slowly getting more and more morally dubious and it’s only a little bit their fault
10 notes · View notes
jonnolovesfob · 1 year ago
Text
i was with the band today and i was like “how do you guys feel that i’m graduating this time next year” the reactions go as followed :
guitarist: ew!!!!
guitarist: i don’t like that
drummer: no more few and far for awhile :((
but i told them we can still have few and far if they’re willing to drive two hours to the place i’m staying while in college
5 notes · View notes
deus-ex-mona · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
11 notes · View notes
baka-monarch · 1 year ago
Text
My boss: you work as an usher and have to clean disgusting theaters multiple times a day and deal with people
Me: okay, will I get paid well?
Boss: no, you'll be paid below the livable wage and have the lowest paycheck out of all the positions you can have here
Me: will I ever get a raise?
Boss: no
Me: do I at least get both a 30 and a 15 minute breaks during my shifts since they're all over 8 hours?
Boss: no, you'll always have a 30 but if we're busy we'll need you to not take a fifteen
Boss: also on weekends you'll have to stay an hour longer than normal
Me: am I guaranteed to always get my fifteen on those days?
Boss: no
Me: is there any way to get paid more?
Boss: yes, training to work in a different position so you can work in 2 positions at once, but only managers can decide if you can get double trained
Me: okay.... At least I only work part time so hopefully I won't get too tired when summer comes
Boss: this summer we're having early very cheap movies so we need you to come in an hour early for every shift
Me: will I get paid any more for this at least?
Boss: no
And like- I feel ripped off-
#rambles#busy days with large crowds cause me to have a panick attack and cry by the end of my shift whenever that happens#and now they're having me come in early and consistently deal with a huge crowd#and i get paid barely anything#i get we're technically a 'locally owned' theater#but we're also the only theater within a mile radius#and we get the same amount of customers as the name brand theater i used to work at#like#literally concessions get's paid well over $25 bucks an hour#and they only have like 5 people trained in concessions and won't let anyone else in#there's like 20 ushers and we're all paid under $10 an hour and treated like shit daily#like 7 out of 9 shifts i get covered in trash juice from being the one to deal with the trash#I'm getting mistreated by customers#I'm having anxiety attacks#I'm cleaning 9 giant theaters multiple times a day#I'm moving boxes#I'm helping everyone else at their NON-USHER stations#because they schedule a lot of ushers#so when theaters aren't letting out to make sure there's not a giant group around the stand#they'll send us off to do other people's jobs but it won't be considered as us doing that job so we aren't paid for being “#'double trained' even though we all lnow how to part food and how to deal with cups and run the cash register and stuff#because of how often our coworkers walk away from their stations#us ushers are paid the least#but like#we're the most important ones there methinks (since we clean everything and help with everything else as well)#why are the people who microwave food paid more than the people who clean 9 theaters over 12 times a day????
5 notes · View notes
ventismacchiato · 2 years ago
Note
hoping u didn’t die cus u haven’t interacted in a while 🙏
(not saying u have to interact everyday i just wanna make sure ur doing ok!! rest up :3 )
nah i’m alive but i wish i wasn’t!!
#y’all don’t have to read this just ignore me#but i hate college#like studying in hs is one thing cus u just have to pass ur exams#and then ur done#but in college it’s like if u bs ur way thru it’s on u#cus this is is ur future job and if u don’t know shit ur gonna fuck ppl over#😭 i cannot see myself being a good doctor like i feel so stupid#also college is so lonely bruh#like everyone has different schedules so most of the time ur by urself#and i’m not big on parties but sitting in ur dorm studying for ur next exam while listening to everyone party outside is so lonely#like i wanna throw away my days and stay out till three am and miss my morning classes#but i CANT cus my parents wud kill me if i don’t pass#and even tho both of them r doctors they don’t understand mental health#and there’s no where to even cry properly here#like i thot being away from my parents wud make me happy 🪦#but instead i don’t feel at home at college nor at my actual house#😭 like where tf am i supposed to go then#and mostly everyone here is white and i feel so out of place#and in group projects i have to repeat my name ten times before anyone can get it#then they STILL mispronounce it#then listening to my roommate call her parents on speaker and listening to them tell her how much they love and support her#IT MAKES ME SO JEALOUS LIKE 😭 MY PARENTS DO NAWT SAY THE L WORD#anyway ya 😇😇 will update soon xoxo gossip girl#actually i won’t cus i’m annoyed at y’all for begging me for updates LIKE PLEEK IT TAKES TEN SECONDS TO READ THESE CHAPTERS AND HOURS 2 EDIT#ALSO CAN SOME OF YALL NOT READ IT SAYS THE TAGLIST IS CLOSED EVERYWHERE 😵‍💫 like i’m flattered u wanna be on it but just turn my notifs on#i hate tagging sm literallt the next 2 chapters are written but i’m too lazy to tag and annoyed at ppl asking for updates#ok that’s it#slay#i should kms#kai mail 💌
19 notes · View notes
youremyonlyhope · 1 year ago
Text
youtube
Stupidly I decided to watch this video just now.
Today would have been my Grandma's birthday, but we lost her last fall and then my Nanna in the winter.
I did not think that a commentary video on Rugrats would make me uncontrollably sob. But I blocked out how sad the Mother's Day episode was. And combining it with Grandma's birthday...
I've spent the last 10 minutes or so doubled over crying.
#i kind of knew some sort of emotional outbreak was incoming soon but i didn't know when#that time ended up being now#because the start of this week was emotional since a show i was working on ended#and for some reason that show ending just felt way more emotional than other shows i've done ending#so many people were crying. but i didn't cry.#we had had a performance on mother's day and our director had lost her mother recently#so she was upset that whole day and so was so much of the cast and crew. i still didn't cry.#while holding a crying friend at the closing party i told another friend that the emotions will hit me later.#i didn't know when but i knew it was going to. at some time.#both my grandmothers had passed while i was working on different productions with this group#and both times i came to the theater hours later and it had been emotionally healing to be there.#this was the first production i worked on after losing both of them so it felt a little weird.#(plus the color purple trailer came out and that book and musical makes me SOB and i refuse to watch the trailer)#(also add in Tina Turner's passing and her birth name being the same as my grandma's)#and basically all of those feelings and having these other theatre experiences mixed up with my losses#combining with it being my grandma's birthday AND i happened to be crocheting when i watched this video#which is a defining skill that Grandma taught me... i was SUCH a mess. i just could not stop crying.#i had mentioned backstage that i can't rewatch moana because i can't handle the storyline anymore.#and just now while in the middle of this emotional explosion i thought of moana and cried HARDER.#this is a good commentary but GOD i did not expect it to trigger all of this.#when i say doubled over i mean literally doubled over and shaking.#anyway. i think i feel better now. i think i needed this crying session.#in sims your sim can have an 'emotional bomb' quirk. they freak out uncontrollably for 30 seconds then they're fine.#i've never really hated that quirk because that is literally me.
3 notes · View notes
selfinflictedgunshotwound · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
look at this pic of me my mom took when i was 15/16(?) with the camp counselor i had a crush on
#don't ask me why he wore a kilt i still don't know#he was the gun range/archery teacher though i specifically joined that activity to be near him... his name was brad#it was so weird because i had come back from camp already this was the week after and i was going back to get some stuff and he#just so happened to be there and i think he was like 'what are you doing out here shouldn't you be in your cabin?' bc he thought i was#still AT camp instead of just visiting. idr how i got him to take a pic w/ me but it was kismet :) i have so many funny anecdotes abt camp#like i think this was the same year that my friend partnered up with him^ during some huge group activity where we kept changing partners#and i calmly exited the room of like 100+ people & broke down in the bathroom because i was so jealous of her bc she related to ppl easier#but she also accidentally touched a different counselors dick that year while we were in the lake and she got banned from ever coming back#because she had a huge fear of the camp director shooting everyone like she had constant nightmares abt it and she was trying to get over#her fear of him that year by being near him more and talking to him but uh. he misrepresented what she was doing and made it seem like she#was trying to seduce him or something so she got banned and cried all the way back home when our mothers came to get us... it was tense#i had genuinely never seen her cry before it was so fucking crazy to me. anyways... pretty wild stuff
4 notes · View notes
seiwas · 8 months ago
Text
omg im scared my tags are gonna get cut out
were he not born to be a hero he must surely be born for this. <- I LOOOOVE THISS my GODD are u KIDDDDINGME i looooove that so much monty :(( how it ties back in to the start!!
and the way!! he uses what he learned on izuku. and izuku really DID burst into a million tears 🥺 poor guy probs needs it THE MOST WAAAH i loooove this lil interaction i am MUSH
and when he realises its different from touching you??? OHHHH. BOYYYYYY.
i love this monty thank u for writing this
STEADY BEGINNINGS ┊ TODOROKI SHOUTO
Tumblr media
tags: GN reader, developing relationship (eventual friends to lovers), touch starved shouto, physical affection (hand holding + long hugs), good god the yearning, obliviousness, jealousy, fluff + angst, pro hero shouto, reader works at hero agency
wc: 3.8K
series masterlist: 2/5
Tumblr media
Shouto was born to be a hero.
It is a sentiment shared by reporters and fans alike. Todoroki Shouto, the pride of Endeavor, the saving grace of his family name. True, his development had been entirely up to chance—no matter the intent or cruel desperation behind his father’s actions, he had to rely on the probability that the next offspring would win the genetic lottery—but low and behold, he did, and to many people that alone was a sign of destiny at work.
Ultimately, he chose to continue the path of being a hero himself, but no higher being put him there. His father did. At the time of his birth Shouto had not been a son, not even a baby. He was a project. A small, shapeless, squirmy thing. Malleable, like any young mind. It’s a miracle he retained any will and individuality.
Sometimes when alone with his thoughts, Shouto would hypothesise on the whys and the hows. The conclusion he always comes to is this: any sort of reality in which Shouto succumbs to his father’s ideals and manipulation would have to be a world in which his mother does not exist.
While his existence was planned, and wanted, he was to be a hero and as such, wasn’t cut from love—that came after. He loved his mother. So much so that when she hurt, he hurt. When she cried, he cried. She taught him what it meant to be gentle, to have hope, to aspire to be his own person. Years spent amongst the country's finest heroes and Shouto still regarded his mother as the bravest woman he knew, strong because she refused to be hardened by her circumstances; soft so that she can’t be broken again.
You are like his mother in that regard. Those same echoes of reassurance that softness isn’t weakness, and it isn’t earned. You’ve been touching him more as of late, as if determined to prove it. Static between brushed fingertips, words expressed by simply pressing your knees together, the weight of your hand on his bicep to garner his attention. The build up is subtle and cumulative and yet each instance strikes him with the magnitude of a thermodynamic explosion.
Nobody bats an eyelid to this shift in physicality, which makes it all the more difficult to determine whether he is reading into things or not. It could be that he’s noticing those small instances only because it’s you, and you are all he can think about lately.
You’ve given him permission to reciprocate. He merely has to ask for more if he wants it. What Shouto hadn’t accounted for is the unbearability of being vulnerable enough to ask. An innocent “can you hug me?” becomes so much more daunting to voice with all that longing crowded up behind it. He can’t help worrying you’ll see right through to the bottom of his desires.
A hand comes into view. Bakugo’s ash-smudged finger and thumb pinch and snap together in front of his face. “Come back to Earth, dumbass. Your thousand yard stare is scarin’ my new assistant”.
Shouto blinks out of his stupor and the blurred vignette surrounding his vision recedes. He glances at the skittish man sitting outside Bakugo’s office currently sending worried glances over his shoulder. “I think he’s more scared that you’re back,” Shouto intones dryly. “Isn’t he the fourth one this year?”
“Not my fault they’re all wimps,” Bakugo huffs. A slap reverberates around the office as he throws down a manila folder onto his desk and drops heavily into his chair. He regards Shouto with suspicion overtop his computer monitor. “Whatever you were just thinkin’ about—stop”.
“You don’t know what I’m thinking about”.
“I know you always manage to make Olympic level leaps in logic,” Bakugo rolls his eyes and tears open the folder. He slides out what Shouto assumes is a debrief and flips it between his fingers. Shouto keeps quiet. He reclines into the couch cushions and returns to reading the incident report on his lap, counting down from ten in the privacy of his mind. Anytime now.
Three, two, one.
“So what is it?” Bakugo asks, trying too hard to sound flippant but landing squarely on irritation. “Spit it out before you give yourself an aneurysm”.
Shouto opens his mouth and closes it again. A wave of hot embarrassment washes over him. He knows Bakugo will do him the kindness of being blunt and honest but it doesn’t make it any less humiliating to admit.
In their younger years Shouto saw something of a kindred spirit in Bakugo. He too did not like touch and aggressively voiced his distaste for it whenever he got the chance—which was often, because divine intervention sought fit to give him the most tactile, handsy friend group possible.
As they got older though, Shouto began to realise that the protests and threats were hollow. Despite being vehemently against affection, Bakugo would allow it anyway, and sometimes even seek it out. The aggression was bravado. Bakugo liked having his friends draped around his shoulders. He liked when Mina kissed his cheek, or Kaminari played with his hair, or Kirishima gathered him into a too-tight hug, or Sero tangled their ankles together on the couch.
Only, for him to comfortably accept it, Bakugo needed to act as though he were doing them a favour by allowing them into his space. And Bakugo’s friends played along without complaint.
From what he’s observed you are also an affectionate person. You are liberal with your warmth and adapt seamlessly to the boundaries of those around you. But you were also visibly uncomfortable whenever people took that affinity for intimacy as an open invitation, and recoiled if they encroached on your own.
Shouto has imagined reaching out only for your body to flinch away from him more times than he can count. It’s a battle staged in his head, ingrown fears. The possibility alone was enough to keep him from reciprocating, set in a state of fawn-like inertia.
“There’s somebody I want to get closer to. A friend,” he begins. Bakugo makes an inquisitive noise, props his cheek against his fist and narrows his eyes as he listens. Shouto retells the story in part, deciding to omit your name, and by the tail-end of it Bakugo’s forehead is deeply creased in dissatisfaction.
“You make all your own problems, Halfie. Y’know that?” he mutters, rubbing at the bridge of his nose and sinking back into his chair. “Fine, you don’t want to make this person uncomfortable, or whatever. If you need a hug so damn badly, why not ask Deku? Not like he’d say no”.
Knowing Bakugo would make his dilemma sound ridiculous is one thing, actually hearing it is another. “How do you know it isn’t about Midoriya,” Shouto returns petulantly.
“It ain’t Izuku or anyone else from your nerd squad,” Bakugo says, dropping his hand to drum on the desk. “I would’ve heard about it”.
“Why?”
“Because you don’t touch people. And that’s fuckin’ fine, yeah? But if you had, I know for a fact any one of them would’ve burst into tears and told everyone in a five mile radius”.
“Oh,” it leaves him a little off-kilter to hear. Shouto leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, setting the report on the dark wood coffee table. The corner of the page is curled, and the spine is creased, and the ink annotation has smudged under his thumb. He details these things as he deliberates, the excuses cloying in his throat and thick like he might cry too.
Bakugo was right—if he craved close contact so badly, why couldn’t he go to Midoriya? He knows he would likely be met with enthusiasm.
“You don't have to tell me who. I don’t care. But you’re overthinking it,” Bakugo grunts at his lack of response, in a way that very much suggests that he cares. “Go ask. If they say ‘no’ it’s tough shit, but the world isn’t gonna end. From what you’ve told me they wouldn’t say ‘no’ anyway. Dumbass”.
Shouto nods and gives up the pretense of reading the paperwork. He feels coltish as he stands and brushes down his front, straightening the creases.
“You’re right”.
“I know”.
“Thank you, Bakugo,” he says. A small smile unfurls across his anxiety-bitten mouth. “You’re a good friend”.
“Shut up,” Bakugo grumbles. It’s a testament to his concern that he hadn’t cursed Shouto there and then. “Now get out of my office. What are you doing here in the first place? You got your own!”
“Yours gets all the sunlight. And it’s always quiet because nobody comes in here,” Shouto ignores the baleful slit of an eye Bakugo turns on him. “I’m going to take my lunch now”.
“Do what you want,” Bakugo dismisses haughtily, and Shouto smiles while thinking, not for the first time, that he’s very lucky to have friends like these.
The fidgety assistant bows as he exits and turns into the sun-drenched hallway. Warmth drapes around Shouto’s shoulders, lingering at his nape while he descends the dark stairwell where the light doesn’t reach. His boots thud against the linoleum, and he counts each footfall to keep his face neutral as his legs carry him toward your department.
Somewhere between one and one hundred and thirteen, a fraction of Shouto’s courage starts to dwindle. He grits his teeth. A hundred steps can’t be enough to dissuade him after decades of denying himself any kind of indulgence.
The further he goes into the support wing the more elaborate the layout becomes. You’re in research and development, assigned a workshop close to the quirk analysts. Heads turn as Shouto rolls through. Heroes didn’t often make personal visits to this area. If he thinks hard enough he could count a grand number of two past visits and neither of them were for you.
His stride falters when he catches sight of your nameplate. It is fixed to the wall outside your door, polished and gleaming proudly. Shouto traces the characters of your name engraved into steel before raising his hand to knock.
Your voice rings out from inside, “Come in!”
A pitched beeping sound comes from overhead. The workshop doors begin to open in a theatrical fashion, receding like curtains to reveal your space. The floor is mapped out with tape. Clear boundaries drawn between the work benches, the fume cupboards, the vault and your personal office, in an attempt at organised chaos. He might have been more interested in poking around for the first time if he had not felt on the edge of intrusion.
You’re tucked behind your curved desk surrounded by numerous monitors that dwarf your frame. Shouto furtively takes in your cute, rumpled appearance. The upper half of your coveralls have been undone to reveal an undervest, sleeves tied tight around and accentuating your waist.
“Take a seat, I’ll be with you in…” the dull tapping of practiced keystrokes comes to a stop as you notice him in the doorway. The professional veneer disappears. “Shouto?” you say, mostly to yourself. Your gaze slides beyond his shoulder, looking for whoever might be accompanying him. “Is everything okay?”
There’s a worried twist in your mouth that he wants to smudge away. A look in your eyes—a combination of warmth and weight that tugged at his being. Shouto rolls his shoulders, shaking off the tension, and moving deeper into your office. The doors close automatically behind him. “I’m okay,” he assures, taking the seat across from you.
Your expression gentles, and he likes how your gaze follows him. “I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me,” he continues. “But if you’re working I can head back”.
“Lunch?” you repeated. Your eyes darted to the corner of the monitor closest to you and promptly widened. “Oh, shit. When did that happen?”
An upswing of fondness catches him like a blow to the chest. His mouth quirks into a smirk. “How long have you been here?”
“Too long. I got lumped with a new project a few days ago and it’s almost done,” the monitors shut off one by one as you sheepishly press each button. Then you gave him a soft, apologetic look, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. Must’ve missed me if you came all the way down here”.
Dread shriked through him. The low whirring from the equipment scattered around your workspace is suddenly inordinately loud. Was he that obvious?
You, however, fail to notice Shouto’s anxiety and grab him around the wrist as you pivot the desk. “C’mon. Let’s go before the good stuff is gone,” you tell him.
Shouto had absolutely no clue what the ‘good stuff��� entailed—maybe he should’ve bothered to ask. Atleast it would take his mind off your hand. It’s wrapped around his sleeve, right where the fabric ends, loose enough for him to unshackle from if he wants. When he doesn’t protest the contact you stroke your thumb in an arc over the heel of his hand and squeeze.
Shouto falls into step, too caught up to realise you’ve taken him to the cafeteria. He expects you’ll drop his wrist in the presence of your colleagues, yet you adjust your grip and glance back at him with an encouraging tilt of your head.
“I’m starving. I think I’ll get a rice bowl. Smells pretty good today, don’t you think?”
Shouto hummed his agreement. He felt out of his depth, and he didn’t trust his voice. The spark of giddiness was doing embarrassing things to his throat. The line is mercifully short and before long he has a warm bowl of food held against his front.
“Did you want to sit in here? I can take us to one of the senior staff lounges instead if you want,” you cast a nervous look across the sparse crowd. “I mean, support engineers aren’t really gossiping types but…”
A petty part of him hoped the whispers would escalate. To have your name linked with his, to be known as a person that you cared about—he found that deeply satisfying, for reasons he couldn’t yet put his finger on.
Then again, being alone with you far eclipsed the appeal of flaunting your friendship. “The senior staff lounge sounds best,” he answers after a minute of feigned consideration. You nod, regretfully having dropped his hand, and motion for him to follow once more.
The lounge is a modest room with a kitchenette, a breakfast nook and a few bean bag chairs. It smells faintly like peeled oranges. There are post it notes and blueprints haphazardly stuck to the pinboard, covering an out of date calendar filled out in illegible scrawl. This is no shop awning. There is no rainfall to lend to the ambiance. But you are together in an enclosed space, and that is enough to make his heart beat in anticipation.
You scoot into the breakfast nook. He sits on the same side of the table and tries to subtly spread his knees enough to nudge your thigh. You side-glance in surprise but choose not to mention it. Instead you smile through your first mouthful and ask, “How've things been since I last saw you?”
Achy, like he’s used an atrophied muscle. Lonely, and frustrating beyond words. But he doesn’t say any of that. He digs crescents into his thigh through his pant leg and says, “Boring”.
“Figured that might be the case. I saw the livestream of you fighting Haywire,” you bump your shoulder against his. “The Commission probably dumped a whole load of paperwork on you, huh?”
Shouto wrinkles his nose. He hoped you hadn’t caught that fight. The pursuit of Haywire—an eco terrorist with an electrical quirk—managed to cause an unprecedented amount of damage to the city infrastructure.
“You handled it as best you could. The power grid can be fixed. What’s important is people are alive because of you,” a warm weight covers the fingers restlessly whittling at his pant leg. You pet his hand, “I’m glad you weren’t hurt”.
Guided solely by his impulses, the instant you start to draw back he envelops the top of your hand and sandwiches it between his own. He goes hot and cold all over in quick succession. Boundaries, he reminds himself. But you’re not pulling away. You’re studying him with a knowing gleam in your eye.
Shouto clears his throat. Heat pricks across his skin, concentrated in his cheekbones. “Sorry,” he says. You can ask, a memory echoes. “Is this okay?”
“You don’t have to apologise. I told you it’s fine,” you reply firmly. “I’m happy to remind you if you need to hear it”.
“No, I…” his brow furrows. “I’ve been thinking”.
“That’s not good”.
Shouto snorts and shakes his head, his amusement petering out into a shallow breath. “I want to ask. I’ve wanted to ask like you said I could,” he explains vaguely. “I’m not very good at it, I think”.
You make a soft, understanding sound that immediately sets him at ease. “I guess, after denying yourself something for so long it can be scary to let yourself have it again,” you murmur, a faraway look in your eyes. After a pensive moment the sheen fades and your laughter lines deepen, “I’ll do what I did before, then. If you look like you need a hug I’ll ask you instead”.
“In what way do I ‘look like’ I need a hug?”
“You get this—I don’t know how to explain it,” you gesture vaguely at him. “This blankness about you, but not your normal resting face, I mean you don’t seem all there. I don’t like it. I like it best when you’re happy”.
“Ah,” comes his eloquent response. Shouto drops his gaze to where your hands knot together. Every quark in his body is urging him to get closer, and remain close. “Bakugo thinks I should try to hug Midoriya, too,” he adds, oddly flustered.
“Huh. You talked to Bakugo about—? That’s a surprise. A nice surprise, I mean! Well, Midoriya does give great hugs. It would be good for you to…”
Shouto’s thoughts grow louder and he frowns down at his rice. You’re saying something about physical touch and wellness and friends. Dopamine and serotonin. It barely registers. Two truths are pinging around his skull.
You have hugged Midoriya. Of course you have. You’re friends.
You think he’s great at it.
Why is that so unsettling? Teenagers think like this. Single minded and overly emotional.
He feels the shifting of your knuckles under his palm. “Hey. You’ll need one of these back if you’re going to eat,” you say.
“Right,” he lifts his left hand and picks up his chopsticks to take a pinch of rice from his bowl. He chews until the clamouring in his mind has settled, and you patiently accept his stoic silence without explanation. Shouto hasn’t been this awkward since highschool, and even then he was too wrapped up in his familial problems to be aware of it.
“What’s the project you’ve been working on?” he eventually asks.
You take the change of topic in your stride, leaning closer and lowering your voice to an excited whisper, “I’m not supposed to tell you but—it’s for Deku’s new costume”.
“Midoriya is getting a new costume?” Shouto replies. You playfully shush him and he pouts a little.
“Don’t sulk. He doesn’t know yet either,” you poke a chopstick at the corner of his jutted mouth. “It’s my job to prepare a design portfolio and talk through everything next week. You’ll get a new one too, when you break the top five”.
“If,” he amends.
“You don’t think you’ll move up?”
“Reaching the top was never really a priority for me,” Shouto’s attention splinters, half of his focus on the conversation and the other on the sensation of your skin. He considers overturning his hand to entwine your fingers. “I just want to be the best hero I can be”.
You hum, and as if plucking the desire right from his mind, absentmindedly slip into the gaps between his fingers. Shouto steadies his breathing and takes another mouthful.
The rest of the hour passes, syrupy and slow like molasses. By the final minute Shouto’s palm is sticky and reluctant to part from yours. You usher him out from the breakfast nook first, stacking the empty bowls before directing him back toward the emptied cafeteria.
You slide the bowls along the counter for the kitchen staff to take. Then you wipe your hands down your front as you pivot to face him, thrusting out both arms as he stands frozen.
“Can I hug you?”
Shouto touches his face and you laugh.
“This is because I want one,” you clarify with a warm grin, beckoning him closer.
Shouto inhales steps into the embrace, his arms instinctively wrapping around your back. There are less layers this time—the heat of your body is overwhelming, alongside the gentle rise of goosebumps across your bare shoulders. Your breath fell gently on his collarbone, his head lowering to curl into you. He thinks, were he not born to be a hero, he must surely be born for this.
“Thank you,” you mumble, squeezing his waste a final time as you retreat. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”
Shouto nods. Your presence moves away like the sun being blocked out and he watches you go, departing words caught in his teeth, an incessant buzz in his fingertips. The walk back to his office is a gauzy yellow haze. Every physiological response in his body told him that he was in a free fall, despite his feet being firmly on the ground.
“Shouto!”
Shouto halts mid-step at the familiar voice. He turns to look at Izuku, at the tentative beginnings of his smile. “Izuku,” he says.
“We missed you at lunch—are you feeling alright?” Izuku asks, slightly bemused. “You look kinda… floaty,” his eyes are dark, softened in the afternoon light as they sweep over Shouto’s figure and his face.
"Izuku," Shouto said before he could convince himself otherwise, “Do you want a hug?”
The innocent question appeared to crash into Izuku with the levity of a bullet train in motion. Tears sprang to his eyes, brighter now. Shouto tenses as he is swept into a solid hug. Izuku smells like fresh air, sweat and sweet-salty broth. He holds Shouto as though trying to keep his seams from bursting; thick arms are secure around his shoulders, and a rough palm rubs broad strokes down his back, smoothing the tension until Shouto is relaxed.
You were right. Izuku does give great hugs. Shouto came away doughy, and fuller, and with the stark realisation that while touching Izuku soothed the ache, it still felt completely different to touching you.
Later, as he leaned his head against the desk surface, he sluggishly contemplated the implications of that.
Tumblr media
#oh monty this makes me ache for him sooo terribly#i got sooo sad at 'he was a project' bc truly :(((( like a test trial :(( oh im so sad#and this is so powerful omg: any sort of reality in which Shouto succumbs to his father’s ideals and manipulation#would have to be a world in which his mother does not exist. <- :(((( he loves his mama#and i looove the idea of you reminding him of the parts that he loves and admires about his momma#how you view softness as strength and it ISN'T EARNED!!! that's the impt bit. I AM SUUUCH A SUCKER FOR THAT#The build up is subtle and cumulative and yet each instance strikes him with the magnitude of a thermodynamic explosion.#<- SO GOOD DHBGHSF. i also love that you gradually ease him into it#anD WAAAAAHHH THE WAY it shocks no one that youre touchy w him and he's double thinking if its just him bc ure all he can think about latel#An innocent “can you hug me?” becomes so much more daunting to voice with all that longing crowded up behind it <- I WANT TO HUG HIMSDHFBSD#he is sooOOO precious :(( learning how to love and be touched and wanting it just cos he wants it :((#the oLYMPIC LEVEL LEAPS OF LOGIC HAS ME CACKLING HJSBDFJ i looove todobaku dynamics my GOD#AND HOW HE KNOWSSSS BKG IS GONNA ASK HIM TO SPILL IT ANYWAY DSHFBSJD PLS#AND SO TRUE :(( he and bkg are the same !!! in diff ways !! nd he allows the affection to touch him!!! despite all his bark WAAAH#MONTY I LOVE EVERYTHING U WRITE TRULY DHSD THE CHARACTERISATION NAD THE LIL DETAILS I AM JUST !!#AND SHOUTO BEING SCARED OF RECIPROCATING!!! BC OF U REJECTING HIM WAAAAH my precious boy#I CHOKED AT THE DEKU SUGGESTIODNFHSDB and everyone in their group bursting into tears at the thought of shouto's touch WAAAH#theres so much personality to your scenes monty i am forever in awe of it!!!!!! the todobaku dynamic SOARS and bkg's personality shines thr#and im cryING at shouto counting all the steps to you asfbsd he likes how your gaze follows him :(( OHHH IM MELTINGG HE LIKES UUU#WHEN U JOKE ABT HIM MISSING U HGSDFSJA AND HE GOES FULL ON ANXIETY BUT URE LIKE EH ! LETS GO !#IM CRYININGHBDFDS HES SOO CUTE when u grab his wrist and its ALLL he can focus on oh GOD let me HAVE HIM#AND HIM WANTING UR NAME TO BE ATTASCHED TO HIS DFJBS OH im so sick for tht BUT HE'D RATHER BE ALONE WITH U GODDDD#his lil movements tyring to get close to u like spreading his thighs?? OMGFBASFJ thATS SO CUTE#I LOOOOVE the attention to all the small points of touch AND WHEN HE TAKES UR HAND BACK TO SANDWICH IT WITH HIS OWN GOOOD DHJFBSHJ SOMEONE#everything abt this interaction is makigme GO INSANE monty omg. 'i like it best when ure happy' and then HIM OVERTHINKING THE HELLLL#OUT OF YOU HUGGING MIDORIYAF AHSDJFJ IM GOIDHFGJBSL#HIS LITTLE SULKKK SAAAAVE ME and he considers oVERTURNING UR HAND TO INTERTWINE UR FINGERS HELLOADG>>>!>!>>!!?!?!#MOnty i feel like a rabid dog going insane at small touches LIKE. they could breathe around one another and i think i woud die#bnha#sho
592 notes · View notes