#also the general plot lol like this is truly a wip

[ishizu-ka]

💛🌹 Priestess Zaira Post 🖤🌹

Seance Bride is a Horror/Romance about a Priestess, an Astrologist, and an Exorcist cleansing the small Fae Village they call home from Iblis.

[exitvelocities]

2024 fic year in review

total number of completed stories: 12 published on ao3, including approximately 30 fic meme fills. total word count: 82,698 including collab fic, about 56K if i get half credit for those. all time high for me! fandoms written in: mysterious lotus casebook, oh no! here comes trouble, fangs of fortune, chihayafuru

looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? i wrote wayyyyy more than expected, considering i didn't plan on falling into an active fandom again so fast after my last one faded out.

what’s your own favorite story of the year? god idk. i'm in a weird place with my writing rn and idk if it's growing pains or exhaustion. maybe i see you and i reach? it's closer to what i expect from myself at least. there are a couple fic meme fills i like too, like the ones where dfs speedruns yzm to detox llh. there are two versions, one where he dies in the process and one where he survives. i like the sword dance dihua fill too.

did you take any writing risks this year? i did the cdrama gotcha 4 gaza even and also yuletide! i did pretty well for the first one, where i wrote more fic than expected, and i last minute finished the latter. i got some really nice gifts for yuletide too!

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year? just not giving up and trying to finish my wips. maybe write a full fic for fof, but idkat. the only idea i really have is zyc + bai jiu grief fic and i don't have a solid form for it yet.

best story of the year? mmm. truly unsure. maybe another way to tell the truth?

most popular story of the year? can't read my poker face by quite a lot, followed by my mlc fic meme dump due to frequency of update, probably. excluding those, the most popular standalone fic is i'm a fox and you're a burrow.

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: probably i see you and i reach, it got sort of lost in the beautiful sweep of dhx fics.

most fun story to write: writing is suffering for me, lol. fic meme is often the most fun for me because i get to write just the interesting bit of something without having to plot it all out or making a lot of decisions i guess?

story with the single sexiest moment: i wrote so much porn this year, especially for me LOL. can't read my poker face is probably the it, and i'm partial to the offscreen morning sex actually, which is probably weird. otherwise for non-collab fic, i think i'll stay underneath is nice. for fic meme, i like the hair-pulling one i wrote bc of a gifset, hahahah.

most sweet story: there's always a lot more of these with me, and hmmm. i'm a fox and you're a burrow maybe!

“holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story: i’m pretty boring on this front. maybe the fic meme fill where i killed dfs?

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: hmmm idk this is always sort of moving target for me, and i'm generally a soft creature who writes soft things. i don't think i had any big earth shaking revelations anywhere.

most unintentionally telling story: i think i'm always telling on myself when i'm writing tbh. in terms of what sort of spicy things i like, probably can't read my poker face even though i only get half credit? otherwise i think my preferences are generally pretty obvious.

hardest story to write: i have a hard time with everything but i think the most difficult to write fic this year was definitely my yuletide fic. it's not for any of my current fandoms so i had to do a lot of canon review and i'm also just feeling kind of burnt out. it's really hard to write when you don't want to but i had to bc deadline.

biggest disappointment: probably also my yuletide fic, lol. but i was reminded that i'm a longtime writer with a baseline leve of competence so even doing not well, i generally don't actually write bady. so!

biggest surprise: writing for multiple fandoms at once! yuletide fic will probably be surprising once it's revealed idk.

fic written in 2024:

everything grows stronger in the light, mysterious lotus casebook, E dihua modern rv au birthday fic. originally started as a “things you said at the kitchen table” fic meme fill.

i’ll stay underneath, mysterious lotus casebook, E dihua postcanon married domesticity.

another way to tell the truth, mysterious lotus casebook, G fluffy dihua amnesia arc science experiment. with beautiful art by @tiny-breadcrumbs!!!!

can’t cut the root, mysterious lotus casebook, T my fic meme dump, but i’ll post the individual tumblr links below as well. the ao3 versions are cleaned up a bit.

i’m a fox and you’re a burrow, mysterious lotus casebook, T the dihua wedding fic. i commissioned some gorgeous art from @tiny-breadcrumbs for it as well!

laws of physics lose their way, oh no! here comes trouble, G post-canon yiyong wakes up fic, wherein guangyan has a lot on his mind.

can’t read my poker face, mysterious lotus casebook, E fluffy modern dihua actor au cowritten with @la-muerta.

i see you and i reach, mysterious lotus casebook, T dihua street racing au written for @dihuaexchange. comes with an edit and a mix.

river crossing, mysterious lotus casebook, T second collab with @la-muerta, post-canon dark llh fic. in progress.

flowering orchards, salty sea things, mysterious lotus casebook, T mlcweek24 short fic catchall

a tiny windchime, fangs of fortune, T fic meme dump for fof

since i could not hide my love, chihayafuru, G shinobu, chihaya, and the path to being queen

[mecachrome]

Hi k, just wanted to pop in and say thank you for being such a ray of sunshine in the landoscar fandom. I always smile when I see a new gifset or doodle by you! Love to know if you have anything cooking in terms of fic for them? Or even recs tbh, what have you been reading? Hope you have a great day <3

anon you are too kind tysm !!! 🥺🧡

i'm a horribly slow/bad writer so unfortunately (or fortunately) i've only written that one fic... although i have been painstakingly working on 2 wips but neither of them are actually landoscar LOL T__T or actually they are but it's subtextual and ambiguous and complicated etc. etc.... anyway i'd love to share some recs :') !!! placing them below the cut:

fun fact my favorite narrative styles/tropes are outsider pov + mixed media/unconventional formats, which i feel will be made startlingly obvious with the following recommendations 😭

push to talk by anon: still ongoing but lichr my dream premise oat!!!!!!! i've been wanting to read raceengineer!oscar since i started shipping 814 like a year ago and this is THE perfect execution of their dynamic and the epistolary format in general. sooo funny and sharp and well-characterized.

so what are you waiting for? (it's your serve) by serve_cunt: tennis au, incredibly well-paced and plotted and i love how their dynamic developed in this one so much :'))) i also adore reading other-sport aus especially when the author translates it in such an engaging and dynamic and believable way, which user serve_cunt manages so effortlessly ! i love to feel the love for other sports... how can you not be romantic about sports et cetera

how to train your pendragon & wilde by debrief: just read the former last night, user debrief is seriously an expert of world building i don't even KNOW how they come up with half their plots and character details :') (completely in awe) i also adore wilde because i'm a huge sucker for wag aus & famous/non-famous secret relationships etc... secret relationship is actually my fav trope of all time. Anyway. they're just such a fantastic writer i can't recommend their archive enough !!!

prospects all in the whip by higgsbosonblues: again if it isn't outsider pov then what are we here for... kidding but i loveeee ambiguous narration and nortrell's friendship serving as the backbone of the plot / seeing the progression of 814's relationship through maxf's perspective, user peachbelleni also has an amazing fic with a similar premise but it's from last year so you might already know it??? anyway so fun and dynamic and just such a delightful read :')

roll two ones on the dice by anderstorpgrandprix: i'm sorry for being obsessed with tuva's entire Discography i cannot change TT___TT she is truly a master of striking comedic balance in her work and i am always left experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion after reading anything she writes !!!

turn of the tide by miamimaiden: arranged marriage/royalty au with such charming characterization ;__; i love the pacing of this fic and the usage of snapshot scenes ! also just perfect banter across the board

tried to keep it to fics from the past 2 months... perhaps you're already familiar with all of these but i am giving them another endorsement anyway :')

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[babyseraphim]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @emryses, thank you for always tagging me in such fun things!!

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 11

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 122,112

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write pretty much exclusively for Dead Boy Detectives, but I have a oneshot for Marvel from 2017, and an unfinished AU for Critical Role that I'll probably never go back to

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By Lantern's Light

my healing needed more than time

foolish flame

The Case of the Selkie's Skin

Overloaded

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do when I have the time and energy. All my free time is kind of eaten up by writing the fics themselves, so unless the comment is really long or really funny, I usually don't respond. But I appreciate every comment just the same, they are what keep me motivated to write

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't really do fics with angsty endings? Because all of my fics are super angsty in general, so I like to end things on a positive note. I guess the closest would be The Case of the Selkie's Skin because there's not really any closure there, they just move onto the next case. But even that one still has a cathartic ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

foolish flame for sure. A lot of my fic endings tend to be bittersweet in some way, but this one was a pure fluffy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah. I don't think I've been regularly posting fics long enough for that.

9. Do you write smut?

I have written smut exactly once, and while it was a really cathartic/rewarding experience, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. It's a little too far out of my comfort zone.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, crossovers aren't really my thing, though I have toyed with the idea of writing a dead boy detectives/pushing daises crossover just for the hell of it. But it probably won't ever make it onto paper.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and the idea of it kinda scares me lol

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Literally changes day to day. I think kirk/spock is the one that will truly own my heart forever, but payneland really is the perfect ship for me (hence all the fanfiction)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Case of Eros's Arrow, which is sitting with 4 chapters on AO3. I still like the concept of it, and my OCs in it, but my writing has changed so much since I started it and I just don't really feel connected to the work itself anymore. Which is a shame, because I left my readers on a total cliffhanger. Whoops.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do alright with descriptive prose (or I enjoy writing it, at the very least). I'm also good at worldbuilding and coming up with fun/creative plots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions between scenes, and general construction of dialogue (though I've gotten better at dialogue over recent months). I can also get a little ramble-y when it comes to introspection, though I'm usually pretty good about cutting it all down by the time the final draft is done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts on it. I only speak english, and the only language I've ever used in my fics besides english is Latin (for magic purposes).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural, I think? It was OC fanfiction, I still have it floating around this blog somewhere

20. Favorite fics you've written?

dye it all, rosary I think is my favorite right now. I don't know what the fuck I was on when I wrote that fic, but I wrote chapter 1 in one sitting, and then chapter 2 over the course of a few months. It turned out so much better than I ever could have hoped, and I just truly love it so much.

I also love my healing needed more than time because it has all the stuff that I love in it (magic, lesbians, dogs, kids, and other fun stuff to come). I'm also just really proud that I've managed to stick with it as long as I have; it's the first piece of writing over 14k that I've ever written in my life.

I tag: @many-gay-magpies, @deadtwinksdetectiveagency, @williamvapespeare, and @the-ipre!

[heliostears]

WIP Tagging Game !

I got tagged by @allmightskitten and I had to double-check my notification to make sure I didn't read wrong HAHA. This is going to expose me but this is gonna be fun to do. Fingerscrossed I'll finish them all at some point, I'm a little bit busy with comms and con prep for February but, I'll make time! Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folders, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snipper or tell them something about it!

Ok just a disclaimer, I don't actually write that much WIPs because I like to finish smth before starting a new one, and I'll only include One Piece fics because that's all I have right now. There will also be selfship fic on here, and because I do not have the same amount of writer oomfs on tumblr here (as you can probably tell), I will only tag the ones I know!

Jealousy - General, Shanks/my sona I started selfshipping with Shanks, so I'm kind of clowning myself here. The story is pretty self-explanatory from the title, and the setting is obviously in the One Piece world. My sona gets jealous over Shanks getting attention from the girls, Benn swoops in and takes those girls off of Shanks. In my interpertrations and headcanons, Shanks don't exactly flirt back with those girl or entertain their flirtations because he's not Benn Beckman (LOL). I kind of end up not liking this one because it feels kind of weird and the story derailed into something that I don't like. I've decided to drop this WIP because of that reason.

Stress Relief - Mature, Building Snake/Benn Beckman Surprise! I got into this ship because of an artist on Pixiv, and ever since then I've not been the same. I have already posted one fic of this ship, and this WIP has been in my docs for a long while now. It's basically just Snake getting so damn stressed out, and having no outlet for that stress. This fic is sort of a continuation from my first SnakeBenn fic where Snake took Benn's ass virginity LOL. Turns out there is more than just a 'second time' for their encounter, and Benn finds himself to be rather into what Snake does to him. Given the height and size gaps between them, I get to play around quite a lot with this pair, as you can probably imagine.

akataka again - Rating undecided, currently M, Shanks/Mihawk I've forgotten to continue this fic from early November omfg. Anyway, I've got a AkaTaka series going on that I've yet gotten the chance to continue. This one involves the pair spending time in Mihawk's bed in Kuraigana Island. Shanks is trying to get Mihawk's attention while the latter is reading an erotica novel for the plot. Shanks is mildly surprised to see Mihawk reading such novel, and asks if he doesn't get aroused by the description, HAHA. I think this one's just going to be a little silly, but I'd be happy if anyone wants to express their curiosity over this one.

Untilted Work - G, Sir Crocodile/My Friend (modern AU!) OK So this one's a gift for my friend because she's a wonderful person, and I've decided to not take this as a commission, but a gift to her. I can't technically spill the whole plot--but I'll just write this down as what she wants the plot to be about. My friend in this fic is an art dealer/curator. She deals with being the middle person when it comes to selling art (be it paintings, statues and whatnot). She attends a connection event held at the Louvre, organised by Doflamingo, and she meets Sir Crocodile there for the first time! It's currently down to 1.7k words and I'm planning on writing more. I'm having a whole lot of fun doing Modern AU for One Piece fics honestly, they're so fun.

That's pretty much all of the fics that I have right now! Another one is a commission and I definitely can't post it here lol. Thank you again for tagging me, this is so fun to do, and it makes me think of the WIPs that I have going on that I might want to continue :3 I truly hope you don't mind the tag, and please don't feel pressured about needing to do this, but I'm tagging @fakescorpion and @renjerungu for this one! Please only do this at your own comfort and don't feel forced to :3

[longeyelashedtragedy]

For the wip ask game

10022? I have no idea what it could be

yes! 10022 is a fic i have that is just...tons of little sections that i have no idea how to make into a "plot." i almost think it...won't have a plot? just a series of vignettes in chronological order. it's a fic about someone finally risking it all, or trying to, in order to discover themselves a little, and that's an ongoing process so it kind of doesn't naturally have plot?

that someone is of course frank, and this fic is about his season living in new york and playing with NYCFC. this is my favorite player era of his for a lot of reasons. i actually don't know where you're from so i'll assume you're not from the US just for this purpose (i'm really sorry if i assumed wrong!!) 10022 is the zip code (postal code) for the neighborhood where frank lived in manhattan--midtown east. it's weirdly a neighborhood that i like a lot, and i'm generally no longer a fan of manhattan and now that i don't work there i try to Avoid it--it's just very very noisy and crowded and too many of the worthwhile stores and restaurants that i loved have shut down post-covid or bc of stupid high rents. but this neigborhood is an interesting mix of Huge Buildings, some touristy places, and then as you walk east toward the river it becomes sort of...insular? like just residential buildings with stores geared toward the local population. most of the neighborhood doesn't have very convenient public transit access, so if you walk a couple blocks in you feel kind of cut off from everything else. it suits frank well i think.

wow, i still haven't said what this fuckin fic is about lol. my theory is that in new york he was alone for the first time in his life--no dad to harass him, and while i think christine visited plenty (i mean, london-new york is one of the easiest international flights around, and she certainly could afford it), she does live tv so it wasn't like she could work from home. so frank had all this time to 1) be the Elder Good Example (37 years old) to a team just starting out with a bunch of Young Lads, and 2) to try to be brave enough to explore the sexuality he's known he's had for decades. as part of the fic, he nervously looks up gay bars and ventures off to pick up men, and they're certainly very interested, but he always chickens out at the last minute. i think he's afraid in general, and also the guys aren't...cousin jamie.

something else that makes me want to write this is the way frank talks about living in NYC--he truly loved it here, and a lot of his favorite places/restaurants were not rich people/tourist traps (also one of them is literally down the block from me, lol) and i find that very touching. i appreciate his appreciation for this pain in the ass hometown of mine. i also really think he enjoyed the relative anonymity and the attitude toward things, as part of his Gay Explorations:

If home is the place where you can relax and take the pressure off, then New York City is already home.  The only expectations of him here are professional ones. He can do those things, or try his best to. He can move the ball down the pitch, intimidate the opponent, smash the ball into the net the way it was drilled into him decades ago, score some confident penalties, and mentor the young lads (in football, anyway--regardless of what José has said, he's the last person who should be teaching anyone how to be a Man.) and if he can't do all that, at 36, then he'll know he gave it a good try, and the fans in royal blue will still love him all over the world.  But personally? He's alone as long as nobody is visiting, and being alone in New York will be different from London. He's looked it up. London is the slightly bigger city, in terms of the population, but New York has a firm culture of mind your own damn business and you better not be staring at me and if you saw something no you didn't.  Anything could happen.  If no one saw something you could do anything, really.

getting to write something in a place i'm very familiar with is really fun--i can load it up with authentic details, including stuff that was going on in the social backdrop of the city, weird weather, etc. (though, MLS seasons work differently than a lot of the big european league seasons because of the very cold winters we (used to) have in a lot of the country, so i got confused by dates/timing as usual and kinda gave winter 2016 some of our weird winter 2015's attributes...oh well literally no one will know)

sorry this was a lot to say very little. this fic is really fun to write but i just kind of work on it at random bc there's no plot, haha. i have a scene i kinda recently started working on where frank takes young english lad jack harrison to this diner down the block from his house, but it's not a date! not a date at all! look frank's got his wedding ring on!

here is another excerpt hahah

[vacantgodling]

💋How romantic do they expect their partner(s) to be in a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations aren’t met?

🧀What’s their cheesiest romantic fantasy? Do they want to recreate it in real life?

🗺️What are some cultural customs surrounding love and romance that they practice?

➕Do they care about people’s “body count,” or how many relationships they’ve been in?

🩹Do they often give romantic advice to their friends or family? Is it good advice?

for anyone <3

~ @void-botanist

thank you thank you!! i think i'll do more btaf bc why not :DDD i'll do my main "terrible decisions" trio sjaak + azelie + dalal (and i do preface: sjaak is the main one making bad decisions, azelie and dalal are more in a rock and a hard place type scenario most of the time but like i consider them apart of the trio cuz like. technically kinda bad decisions they've both also made lol).

💋How romantic do they expect their partner(s) to be in a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations aren’t met?

sjaak: he would expect his partner to be romantic with him, though it wouldn't be the end of the world if they were more distant. i think he would like someone who was very caring and romantic and physical, because he's kind of touch starved. but he would also be kind of weirded out by it because he's not used to constant affection so at the same time, he may be standoffish lmao. he is trying his best i prommy.

azelie: tbh it would be a deal breaker for azelie. she is a romantic (if somewhat reserved) person herself, so having a partner not interested in it wouldn't be worth her time in her opinion

dalal: she'd prefer if someone wasn't romantic, she's really not into it esp if she doesn't know you well. its something she could warm up to but if someone was like oh we don't need to be romantic she'd be like "... no shit."

🧀What’s their cheesiest romantic fantasy? Do they want to recreate it in real life?

sjaak: being married to a childhood friend cough biscella cough. and yes he was sort of banking on it happening which is why we're in this predicament (the plot) in the first place lmao

azelie: riding away on a horse into the sunset to be together. she's read it a lot in books and she thinks it's quite romantic so she'd like to do it irl.

dalal: having someone leave her tf alone and yes she'd love that irl (even though i say this i think her REAL fantasy would be finding someone who helps her rebuild her self esteem and cares about her for who she is and not what she can give. its not something she'll admit so yknow)

🗺️What are some cultural customs surrounding love and romance that they practice?

welp, cuz this is a wip set in irl (if historical) most of the traditional ideas about things are sort of baked into their ideology, at least for sjaak since he grew up human for a time. so courtship, getting married, having kids--all those things are par for the course to him and its in part why he feels such a disconnect now that he's a werewolf; he can't have any of those things anymore. at least the whole, kids aspect (bc wolves are infertile) so its a bit of a hurdle he has to get used to (and if he ever truly gets over it is debatable. i'd say not really, but by modern day he'd learned to have coped to a certain extent).

➕Do they care about people’s “body count,” or how many relationships they’ve been in?

sjaak: at first yes. because european romantic standards etc etc. he was expecting to marry someone who was virginal, and it was his plan to stay that way until he could come back to biscella. but that doesn't happen for a number of reasons.

azelie: she doesn't really have a concept of this, so no she doesn't really care generally speaking if it came to a relationship with a human or a werewolf. for vampires its different; just because she would want to know their thoughts on reproduction and if they have other children or spouses hanging around because she wouldn't really be down with certain answers to those questions.

dalal: she's literally too old to care about any of that.

🩹Do they often give romantic advice to their friends or family? Is it good advice?

for all of them FUCKING NO they're all a train wreck even if they gave advice don't listen to them they don't know what they're talking about.

[matchbookarmy]

Okay, I'm back. Sorry I needed a bit of a break from things. Just from everything. Not this blog but everything in [gestures vaguely] life.

As some of you know, my phone broke back over the summer and I lost all of my open tabs and where I was on my journey. That definitely was a setback and I didn't know how I wanted to handle it.

But now that I've had time to think about it, I've decided to.... restart my journey.

Lol.

Now I know you probably think I'm insane, but here are my reasons. When I first started reading I was only reading MCU based fic because I thought you had to choose a fandom on AO3. It wasn't for a while before I figured out I could just click on the ship's tag and see everything. So I was severely lacking in 616 fic. Also I didn't read everything when I started. I tended to skip AUs, a lot of the more kinky stuff. As I read more I opened myself up to a lot more types of fics.

And then finally my last reason is I want to change the way I interact with fic and fandom. I want to comment more and read WIPs and I dunno. I want to share and spread my enthusiasm. I also want to pull back in some ways, *except* on this blog. I want to get to know you and gush with you all about these two guys we love so much and all the creativity that gets poured into this fandom and this ship and these characters, the blood the sweat and the tears of it all.

So feel free to message me about anything. I try to be good about answering requests, though, I don't always have a fic that perfectly matches what you want.

I was thinking there's the findingstony blog that finds specific fic that you know exists, but maybe this would be a good place for people to submit things that they are looking for that they haven't already found. Like more general requests of tropes or plots that you want to read. Again I'll do my best to match you with something, but I'll also put them out to my followers (I don't have a ton but we'll see what the community can do).

Anyway, I'd like this to be a community to talk about all these things we love. I know I still have 2-3 unanswered asks, and I haven't forgotten them. For the person who asked for heartwrenching angst with or without a happy ending, I'm trying to decide if I want to rec you the most heart-shattering fic I have ever read. 🤔🤔🤔 (Are you open to Tony being evil?)

Anyway, does this restart mean that I may never get to some truly amazing fics at the end of the alphabet? Almost certainly. There are over 55k Stony fics on AO3. The first time I did this was a ship that had about 500 fics. I read them all in a couple months. I'm not going to complain about having too much good stuff.

But you can feel free to send in your own recs as well. Again, I'd love this to be a community, and a conversation.

Okay, well... I'm off to read. A couple of notes.

I will attempt to read every fic. There will be some that I do not finish. It might just be that it's not to my personal taste.

When I say everything, I do mean *everything*, which means that I may rec some fics that have content that you don't like. I will tag my posts accordingly. I'm not here to debate the ethics of fictional depictions of fictional characters in a fictional relationship with anyone.

I'm going to post as I go through. It's just easier for me that way. Also this way you can literally see my journey, lol. Posts will be scheduled for Saturdays, one post per week, unless my drafts start to get really full, in which case I'll bump it up to two posts per week.

Sometimes I may open a fic and save it in an open tag if I'm not in the right headspace for it, or if I want to read it but I'm not connecting with it at the moment. Or, if it's a really long fic, sometimes I'll intersperse other shorter fics in between chapters. So just because I skip a fic doesn't mean I didn't like it, or I thought it was bad.

Though I will give everything a shot, in general, kid fic is just not my thing, so you're unlikely to see many recs with that topic. But feel free to send in your own fic recs if there's something you really love. I'm sure others would love it as well.

I also generally tend to be not a fan of kink involving bodily fluids other than spit, sweat and semen, but I will give them a chance. Just don't expect a lot of recs for those. Also I'm not really a fan of age play. It's just not my thing.

The only hard pass for me is anything that tries to villainize Steve for MCU Civil War. That's a hard no for me.

Okay, I accidentally added a poll and it won't let me delete it, so....

Lmao - that was supposed to say goodness not goddess. 🙃🙃🙃 This is why I don't do polls. I am far too much of a mess to handle this kind of responsibility.

[thebansacredbanned]

Tagged by @wishthefish!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

123... somehow... oh wait i know how its bc i did whumptober

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

392,687

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: The Untamed/MDZS, Nirvana in Fire, A League of Nobleman, The Blood of Youth [screaming, crying, trying please i need more people to write tBoY fic my crops are dying], The Disguiser [sometimes]. I'm also working on a few ideas for Mysterious Lotus Casebook which I finished last week

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

So these are all from back when I was actually writing the most popular pairing for a popular fandom, as opposed to now where I'm either writing the Rarest of rare-pairs or for fandoms that have <100 english fics so:

Yellow Petals - The Witcher, Geraskier, hanahaki

I Would Know Him In Death (At The End of the World) - Les Mis, E/R, les amis are reincarnated greek heroes

Butter-cup of Tea - The Witcher, Geraskier, round robin me and @nemainofthewater wrote together that I'm sure had a plot

as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine - The Witcher, Jaskier & Valdo Marx, another one by me and Nemain where I wrote Jaskier's letters and Nemain wrote Valdo Marx's

Know the Water's Sweet but Blood is Thicker - The Witcher, Jaskier is Calanthe's brother, yikes I never finished that one oops

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to (sometimes I forget though lol)! It feels nice to have some kind of interactions with other fans, plus that's how I made friends with @wishthefish so there's always a risk chance of getting to know people ;P

6) What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hahhaahahahahahahaahahahhah

ummmm all of them?

it's probably 'You left me here behind, do you not care?' which has very little room for any hope at all come the end

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this is actually harder than the angst one, somehow. like happy? are any of truly happy??

I'm restricting it to things I wrote this year and I'm going to say As we walk with the sun hand in hand from the wreck, which is the 'happy ending' stem of the Xuyao choose your own adventure thing I was working on this year

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I did once, but it was for a fandom I was already over in a work I wasn't like 100% sold on anyway and I found it kind of funny

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No but as I put in a group chat the other day "every day i inch closer to writing porn and i am not happy about it".

To be fair I don't think I'll ever write full-blown smut, and generally I find that, for what I'm writing at least, having things left implied is better bc then people can imagine whatever they want (and I don't have to write it)

10) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do in fact have a NiF/Untamed bodyswap crossover in my docs which I either need to write more of or decide that I'm not going to write any more of and just post as is

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! There's a French translation of I Would Know Him in Death (At the End of the World)!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have several co-written fic with @nemainofthewater - we share a braincell so it's always a lot of fun

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

See that's a. that's a question that I'm finding WAY harder to answer than it should be.

Probably E/R (Enjolras/Grantaire) from Les Miserables. Like R is still my tumblr/ao3 picture (and my phone home screen), I might now actually be in the fandom so much any more but forever in my heart etc

15) What's a wip that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh man I just went on my posted works on ao3 and I have a les mis fencing au that I last updated in 2020. That's never going to to happen

16) What are your writing strenghts?

Lets see how much angst I can fit in a very small amount of words 😈

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle finishing anything longer than about 2k which is a pain bc I have lots of ideas that deserve a lot more words than I can focus on writing for them

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's cool when people do it (especially if they have hover-ovre translations)! I haven't ever tried and am unlikely to any time soon

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Turn! (actually the first fandom I wrote for was Hamilton but that never saw the light of day and NEVER WILL)

I'm going to tag @nemainofthewater @luzzeagain @woobifiedvillain and anyone else who feels like it!

[carnalapples]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks so much @rowanisawriter for the tag!!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

11

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

70,667

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Dragon Age, Mass Effect, a few Indian movies, and the list will be growing lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

rivers of bitter certainty

those who are in favour with their stars 

a desperate light that since has died 

a heart that laughter has made sweet 

a rose by any other name 

5. do you respond to comments?

Always! They make my day

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

gold dust woman - Dragon Age, Branka/Hespith, very proud of this one

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a rose by any other name - which is also my fluffiest fic in general! again Dragon Age, Cullen/Adaar

8. do you get hate on fics?

not yet 😎

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I suppose so, not often on its own but usually as part of the plot... character study through the bj 💀

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written any crossovers yet!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No! I really like the idea, but I'm a bit worried because I write so sporadically when I get bursts of energy that I'm not sure if I'd make a great writing partner, haha

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ahh, I just love Romance, so I don't know if I can pick a favorite, but Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games are who got me into fandom, and they're who I always return to when I'm truly feeling discouraged. Most ships I've written for are a favorite for some facet of them.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have an AC3 AU fic just. Lingering on the hard drive. I do hope to finish this one eventually, but it keeps threatening to be longer and more convoluted than I expected.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think describing emotion/character dynamics. I get really proud when I figure out the sort of dynamic I want to focus on, and then I can shape the fic around that. I also tend to like my dialogue, especially when I make myself laugh with something kind of cheesy.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely plot: I love focusing on characters, and as a result I do not develop plot as much as I'd like to. I think I tend to drag out scenes and sometimes I feel like I'm forcing it to lengthen the story or create some kind of action. I also really like including boring details and when I go back and edit I struggle to keep what's relevant, lol.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Even if characters are talking in another language, I usually write in English except for a few words that don't translate well. I was trying to think of situations where I'd write full dialogue in another language and they were all very specific: maybe if it's an important part of the setting or a character's internal conflict. So I guess in those cases I would if I either knew the language well or could ask someone about context, etc. (This actually reminds me of another WIP I don't know if I'll finish, lol.)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

I think The Hunger Games, but I never posted any of it. So many talented people in that fandom!!

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Again, probably the care and feeding of lovebirds! It’s such a comfort movie + fic, and I guess that shows in how quickly I wrote it haha. But going back to that one is soothing for me, and I do have more DDLJ fic in the works.

I'll tag anyone who wants to share!!

[akindofmagictoo]

king, knight, hero!

thank you!! all three of these correspond well to Dragonsong :)

king - how long have you been working on this WIP and its world?

i started on Dragonsong in late 2020; the conversation that inspired it occurred (according to my notes) in July 2020, but i didn't move out of a thought dump document until 10th October. so three years and a bit!

to expand on this - i worked on draft 1 between March and July 2021; i created a reverse outline for draft 2 in August 2022, and then i started my proper draft 2 outline in February 2023. i hope to start writing draft 2 ... tomorrow? perhaps??

knight - pick one! forbidden love or enemies to lovers?

it kind of depends on a few things. 1) is it a subplot or a main plot? my investment in romantic shenanigans tends to drop if it's the main plot, as i don't tend to consider a romance plot to be high enough stakes for me. but i can work with 'the plot is getting in the way of our relationship' stakes, because then there are other stakes as well. 2) what's actually getting in the way of the forbidden love? this ties back to stakes - if the consequences feel meaningful and the relationship is written deeply so that i'm not like "YOU COULD JUST NOT DATE", then i do quite like that trope!* 3) generally is it well-written lol

i think i probably prefer forbidden love because i'd find it easier to get invested in the relationship (it's not always something i find very compelling to read), whereas enemies to lovers has to do some work to make it believable that they actually like each other.

*in a book i read ages ago, there was basically a "you might blow up the world if you get together" plot, which was clearly supposed to be the source of much angst. my response to this was basically "are you going to die if you *don't* date, because you may well die if you *do*... this doesn't seem like much conflict here". or more blunt versions of the same sentiment, see above.

[this one isn't specifically Dragonsong related, because i don't include either one, but there are a lot of knights]

hero - what makes someone a hero in this world?

oooh, this is a juicy one. because in a sense, that's what Isi is here to discover and dismantle.

Isi begins the story believing that in order to be a hero, essentially she has to seek glory. she believes that following her orders to kill a dragon is heroic, because it's defending others and it's the 'right thing'. she's a knight, and she protects the people — so that makes her heroic, right?

and throughout the story, she comes to decide that heroism isn't about glory. it's about stubbornly refusing to back down from doing what's right, it's about willingly putting her life on the line to defend the innocent, and it's about putting people over glory. it's not shiny armour and pristine uniform, it's found in the middle of the fight, covered in blood and dust and dirt, when it would be so easy to stay down but instead you're rising for another go because it's the right thing to do. heroism isn't found in fancy titles and stories told about you, it's found in stubbornly doing good even when no one knows, or it brings down the wrath of the king on your head.

Isi's story might become well-known because her heroism is successful, but in order to do that, she has to decide that it's also okay if no one finds out, if she dies for her cause and her name disappears from history ... because if she's only in it for the fame and glory, that's not enough. if she believes her cause is truly worth fighting for, then it has to be worth losing for. it has to be worth dying for.

to be fair, she has some issues that lead her to be a little too willing to die for her cause, notably a desire to atone for her earlier dragon murder. but given the opportunity to flee the battle in draft 2, she will take it — the battle is already lost, so becoming a martyr is not meaningful if there's the possibility of living to fight another day. she's already failed to protect the dragons she intends to protect, in this case. dying for it helps no one.

fantasy motifs ask game is here!

[sunshinereddie]

2, 4, 8, and 14 for the writer asks!!

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

hmmm i wouldn’t say that i’m exactly embarrassed “about it existing”, but i guess i would say the smut that i write haha. i’ve got a few nsfw wips since i do like to write it occasionally but i feel like i’m not very good at writing it lol, so i’ll probably never post any of it shsbsjakhskshs (unless ppl like. really want it ig but that would still take a lot of convincing)

4) favorite character you’ve written

IT-specifically: i love writing eddie. i love writing eddie getting all flustered ab his feelings, it’s so fun heheh

just like, for general fanfic…. i love writing bokuto from haikyuu, he’s just so fun to write, i have many one shots for him :3

for NON FIC CHARACTERS……. i actually don’t really write much original content, but i do have a general story plot and some ocs that have been rotating in my mind for a few years now. i don’t really have many details for them, and i don’t even have names for most of them, but one of my favourite ocs is a surrogate-older-brother type, where this kid (another one of my ocs) enters his life and he looks at this kid and just thinks. “alright. i gotta protect him now.” & he’s very sweet and silly and he’s honestly probably one of the first ocs i ever created (i saw he doesn’t have a name but that’s not true i’ve cycled through like 10 names for him over the years but i’ve never been able to find one that truly sticks lmao) and yeah! i don’t really write much ab him but i do think of him from time to time with fondness <3

8) favorite genre to write

definitely romance!!! (as you can probably tell by my fics and hcs lol) but i do also like trying to write horror/thriller. i don’t think i’m super good at it yet, but apart from romance (and angst dhsjahak) horror/thriller is my next favourite to write!

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

sometimes! i only really have like an actual a playlist for puppy love, and ofc the reddie karaoke fic (that i actually haven’t written anything for…..), but i do enjoy just finding songs that i think fit my wip. i don’t always put them into playlists, but it’s fun to find songs :)

thanks for the ask!!!! <3 from this ask game

[apocalypticdemon]

for the wip title ask game:

'the droning engine'

oh boy, this is my super self-indulgent fic, lmao. I've been super into IndyCar my whole life, as is the rest of my family, so it's my IndyCar AU for the Terror (with a focus on fitzier as the narrative drive behind it).

It's kind of unwieldy and a bigger project than I thought it would be, so it's still very much in the works/in the planning stages while i draft prose as it comes to me, but I've been poking at it in my free time. The basic premise is Crozier is an older driver, signed to team Terror, a smaller team, but one that generally is in good standing. He's got a really odd rivalry with Fitzjames, and this comes to a head at the start of the work, when the Terror management signs James on as a driver. Basically, the plot is going to stretch over the entirety of an IndyCar season, and I'm going to try to hit major plot beats from the show in this story as the characters all vie for the championship for the season. Some stuff gets changed around, just to make things work, but that's the general premise.

I have it planned for the final driver lineup for team Terror to be Crozier, Fitzjames, Silna, and I think Little, but that's still in flux. Hickey was on the team, but gets let go after publicly starting a fight with Silna and suffering the consequences, lol. He continues to scheme in the background as the season continues to unfold, because a different team snaps him up pretty quickly. Is it conventional for how drivers are passed around and contracts are signed? no, probably not, but I do what I want, lol.

I have plans for general plot beats, how I want to draw narrative similarities for things like the no good, very bad wardroom dinner from the first episode, carnivale, and character deaths in the show without...... actually killing anybody, because I can't really have that.

I want the vibes for the fitzier part of the story to be the kind of "they would absolutely fuck several times before actually talking about their feelings" kind of dynamic, so I think that's the route I'm going to take and have their relationship really blossom towards the end of the season, but i'm also still planning out the specifics of that one. I really like the added tension of a secret relationship, given that they're on the same team and that motorsports doesn't necessarily have the most.... open-minded audience (it's very fun being an unpatriotic queer person at these events. i am....... very much in the minority there), so I want to play with that a bit, too. I thought I had a neat and tidy plan, but it rather started crumbling in my hands when i sat down to actually try to write it, so I think I'm going to be wrangling this one for a bit.

but i'm very excited to actually get to it someday! i know this write-up is very rambly and a bit unhinged, but i truly have so many thoughts about it that it's hard to organize into a coherent, short summary, lol. I have a lot of personal history tied up in this, too, so it's hard not to just go on cool tangents about the sport. this project has taken a back seat as my master's work ramps up, since it's just.... so much bigger than i thought it would be. but i really want to work on it over this winter break, creative juices willing.

and as thanks for reading........... all of this rambling, lol, here's a snippet from my draft of the "birdshit island"-cum-team-dinner scene:

Francis is at the end of his patience with the man, at this point in the day, and snaps. “Why don’t you tell us all about that crash in Monterey, James? That one was rather spectacular, if I remember right.” Fitzjames sours immediately, frowning and gritting his teeth. Francis has exactly a half a second of deep satisfaction at the expression before Blanky viciously kicks him in the shins under the table. Francis winces and glares at him, leaning down to rub at the spot. It had hurt, damn it. That prosthetic leg wasn’t soft by any stretch of the imagination.

[whinlatter]

say something about the process of your writing. anything you like

(Reading other writers' responses to this prompt today has been so energising and exciting - thank you for sending me this, and for getting everyone to share their writer reflections, what a rich insight!)

When it comes to writing, I'm a vibes-first, plot-second kind of fiction writer. I can talk a bit about a character-study fic I'm in the middle of writing right now, which has the working-title The Hanging Out With Hagrid Award. I'm currently in the figuring-out-what-this-fic-will-be phase, so hopefully this can serve as an example of how I'm writing these days!

My work often starts with a mental image, an emotion or feeling, and/or a dumb joke I've thought of (eg. the idea of Hogwarts having a prize they give out annually to the highest performing student in different subjects, and the one for Care of Magical Creatures being colloquially referred to as the Hanging Out With Hagrid Award). I always begin with a placeholder opener first. Even if (when) I pull it to shreds later, I always use an opening to stand as a sort of creative manifesto for the direction and feel of the rest of the piece as I write it. I never really write chronologically and rarely start with a plan - I just start writing disparate fragments of dialogue, often that are directed more by rhythm than content (my word docs are full of truly tragic little notes-to-self like 'insert a joke here that goes joke-joke-joke-JOKE...joke-joke-joke-joke.'') I also just throw around bits of prose that convey setting and colour and sensory experience, descriptions about how characters are placed or interacting with a space and with each other. Titles often come very early on, and I almost always build playlists to write to before getting going, sometimes little moodboards and colour palettes.

For fanfiction writing, then I go straight to canon and build up a big google doc of canon quotes and information that relate to the themes of the text (thank god for those totally illegal searchable pdfs). For Orchards, this meant loads of setting description for the Burrow, layout maps of the house and garden, links to calendars, as well as every time in canon Harry and Ginny's relationship is referred to alongside mentions of the Orchard, or Quidditch, or the outdoors in general. I'm just building up the doc for the fic I'm currently working on, and so I'm just throwing in descriptions of Hogwarts grounds, Hagrid's speech patterns, canon info on different animals, different moments where characters in the fic interact in canon so I can try and get their speech patterns and relations to one another right. I'm a pedant (and also deranged?), so I often cite canon in footnotes when I'm writing.

And then once I've done all that, I sketch plot and structure. I usually draw a timeline out for that that looks a bit like a musical score (because I am, in my heart, a pretentious arsehole). This new fic will follow the arc of a character's time at school, but probably won't move chronologically - I love work that plays with chronology, hence why Little Women (2019) has my whole heart and La Vie En Rose blew my mind when I first watched it as a teenager. Pacing is definitely the thing I worry most about - like where is the emotional crescendo going to be, how do I have peaks and troughs in intensity and impact on the reader. This is always always is the thing I spend the most time drafting and re-drafting. Often I deliberately stay away from re-reading a WIP for a week or two to try and come back to it with fresh eyes so I can see how it reads and moves more clearly. Or I zoom out of the word document so it's like 20% size and try and see if some sections are literally too big or too long and throwing off the weighting and the pace of the piece, lol.

What's odd is that I write non-fiction for a living, and historically, I've done the opposite of all of these things when I start writing non-fiction. But coming back to fiction writing has changed how I think about approaching non-fiction writing massively. I'm now trying to think much more about how to make non-fiction compelling and legible to a reader in the ways fiction authors do by instinct. (This approach has also started to make the process of non-fiction writing much less acutely painful, which is a blessed and merciful relief after a long time in the trenches).

[t-lostinworlds]

Truth or Drink (Tom Holland)

[YouTube AU: Video 2]

a/n: this took a while asdfghjkl this was in my drafts since oct. at 7k already (but got distracted with other WIPs as always) and was suggested by this anon back in aug. so i’m sorry this took a so long hun. also, the gif took a fucking while too ‘cause we are extra in this house haha (i mean, i wanted the time in the vid to match the wc so ha). anyway, enough babbling and let’s get into the video! lol, i hope you guys enjoy this one!

summary: You and Tom do a couples Q&A where you spilled steamy secrets with the help from alcohol. pairing: tom holland x fem!reader warnings: dialogue bonanza (lots of laughing and asking), alcohol consumption, secret spilling (from both parties), teasing from everyone (will include dirty jokes from the lads), mentions of smut & risque aka sex-themed questions. word count: 14.2k+ (aha enjoy!)

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⚠ DISCLAIMER: this is a multi-part (not a series) which is basically one-shots happening in the same universe meaning you don’t need to read the previous one to understand this one since they are not heavily connected plot wise. although each fic does happen chronologically, you don’t need to read them in order much like how you don’t need to watch youtube videos in order.

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You knew something was about to happen the moment you walked into the dining area, the way Tom immediately went to latch onto you like a koala bear—as if he hasn't seen you just minutes before—tells all.

"What are you up to now?" you asked with a playful scrunch of your nose.

You rested your hands on his shoulders, the fabric of his pink hoodie—while you wore his other pink hoodie, outfits not at all planned since you just took the first thing you saw in his closet���soft to the touch as you took a glance at the camera that was set up at the head of the dining table. The greenery of the outside world behind the glass doors served as a backdrop to the shot.

The crease between your brows deepened at the sight, gaze landing back on the boy attached to your hip who was hugging you sideways with a certain glow in his eyes.

"I'm not up to anything," Tom denied, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck to litter the skin with sweet and soft kisses. Although the gesture made your heart melt, it also made your suspicion grow. You just know there was more to this than meets the eye.

Strong arms staying around your torso, Tom pulled away slightly so he could meet your gaze again, a certain smile growing on his lips, one you know too well. It was the usual smile he wears whenever he wants something from you, a favor perhaps. An all too powerful grin that had you made him get away with things—mostly stupid ones—easily that you aren't exactly proud to admit.

"Tom," you warned with a raise of a brow, enough seriousness and command in your tone that he was quick to give in.

"Okay, okay, we're shooting the next video," he chuckled, tracing your jaw with the tip of his nose before giving it a soft peck. "Which I am hoping you'll do with me still," he murmured, placing another kiss on your cheek before pulling away to look at you fully as he flashed you a not-so-innocent smile.

Bingo.

Tom just doesn't suddenly become so clingy—well, he normally is but more than usual anyway—especially out of nowhere without it having an underlying reason.

You narrowed your eyes at him skeptically. You stayed silent as you weighed your odds, if the enjoyment of making the video was worth it for you to endure the obvious embarrassment that would come with it. You do love this YouTube thing he's got going on, you truly do enjoy being a part of it. But with the things he's spilled in the last video, you just want to make sure that this time won't be too much, though you highly doubt it.

It was hilarious how his bottom lip started to go at your reaction, eyes turning rounder, cuter that would give Puss in Boots a run for his money. And just as you counted in your head, three, two, one—

"Please, darling? Do it with me?" Tom cooed, placing his head on your shoulder as he gave your waist a loving squeeze, fluttering his eyelashes at you in the most adorable of ways with that cute pout to match. It was his signature look whenever he wanted something, the look of handsome and adorable persuasion. "I'll keep the secret-spilling at a minimum, love. And besides, we can always edit it out."

You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head at the fact that you're saying yes either way. You can never say no whenever he puts on that very persuasive face of his, can never resist him even if you tried. And of course, Tom knows this power he has over you, and he's mastered a way on how and when to use it to his advantage.

You aren't exactly proud to say that he has never failed once, his tactic very effective and that's putting it lightly. It's sneaky and annoying sometimes but it's still cute nonetheless.

Though, never did he once abuse this weakness of yours, only using it with the little things—like letting him sneak in some snacks on set when he was instructed not to or when he wants to do certain stuff—because when it's something serious and you say 'no,' then he's quick to listen and settle when you've made your final decision. He knows you only have the best intentions when it comes to his safety and just him in general, so there's really no doubt on Tom's behalf when it comes to following you on that.

"Why me? Why not give the other boys a chance to be in the spotlight?" you proposed, not giving him the satisfaction of winning just yet.

Tom shrugged with a wide smile. "The fans love you," he hummed.

The reception of the last video was mostly positive. Maybe it was the fact that you've been with Tom for a couple years already.

Your relationship was private of course, but it wasn't a secret. It was relatively the both of you showing glimpses of it every now and then online. So, compared to when the news first broke out, this time was a bit calmer. There are still trolls and haters—they're always going to be there unfortunately—but you've learned to shut them out, turning your focus more on the ones who are very positive and supportive. They should be the only ones who should be given attention to, no point wasting your energy on random keyboard warriors.

"You mean they love it when I make fun of you?" you said, laughter escaping your lips soon after when Tom buried his face back on the crook of your neck as he groaned in dismay.

Let's just say his fans quite enjoyed how you handled him in the last video, the teasing, the banter, the whole lot. Tom hasn't been able to escape the countless clips that are circulating the good old internet. No matter which platform he uses, a clip or meme is always there to haunt him. Most of them vary from him screaming and wriggling in pain; laughing like a hyena while also wriggling in pain; the random facial expressions he's made; and even sometimes, a snapshot of you looking at him in great disappointment and/or embarrassment. That's just some among the plethora of other memes.

Tom had seen it coming of course, but it doesn't mean it's any less embarrassing, especially with how clueless he seemed when it came to women.

"Unfortunately, that too," he grumbled.

"Okay then, might as well give them more content," you teased, Tom pulling away again to gawk at you with a look of feign betrayal crossing his features. You could only laugh at that, giving his jutted out lip a kiss to replace it with one of his many sweet smiles. Despite you saying it in a joking manner, he can't really deny that that would happen either way. After all, no matter what he does, he will always be a walking meme.

Tom finally lets you go after one more peck on the cheek, guiding you towards the seat by the other end of the table soon after. He helped you in like the gentleman that he is, a kiss landing on top of your head once you were seated before he made his way towards his place.

"What are we doing this time?" you asked when Tom sat down on the chair across from you.

And as if on cue, Harry walked into the dining area with two bottles of gin on hand, Harrison following suit with a bowl of half-sliced limes along with Tuwaine with a bucket of ice and two Collins glasses.

"Truth or drink," Harry said with a wide grin, lifting the bottles of Aviation gin to further prove his point.

"You guys chose me to do this with him because I'm a lightweight, which means I'm more likely to talk, didn't you?" you said, narrowing your eyes at each of them as they placed their respective items right in front of you in the middle of the table.

All three boys gasped exaggeratedly at your accusation, shaking their heads as they made their way behind the camera, chorusing a bunched of:

"Oh no, of course not."

"That was not the plan."

"We would never."

You could only roll your eyes at them, playfully of course, turning back to Tom who was quick to throw his hands up in surrender once he took in your expression of pure suspicion.

"I swear, I just want to do this with you, plain and simple," he confessed, though his follow up sentence made you think that it wasn't as plain and simple. "But you are very funny when you have alcohol in your system."

"Does that mean I'm not when sober?" You raised your brow at the man across you, sitting straight up as you clasp your hands together, resting it on the table to seem serious.

Tom shook his head frantically. "No! You're still very funny sober!" he rushed. "Love, you know what I meant," he added with a whine, head dropping low once you let out a laugh, only lifting it back up to shoot you another pout. He can be quite gullible sometimes and you honestly love it, love teasing him about.

"Besides, it's a couples Q&A and the only couple here are you two so there aren't really any options. The only difference is that it has alcohol to spice things up a little," Harry said, now in his place behind the camera just like before.

"With equally spicy questions," Harrison added with a wriggle of his brows, coming back up on the head of the table to place a stack of white cards to which you assumed was where the questions were written.

"You guys wrote the questions didn't you? Okay, this is a set up," you joked.

"They're harmless questions I swear!" Harrison defended with a laugh before returning back to his place by the camera. Though knowing them for as long as you have, you've learned to never trust those words fully. It was highly expected that the questions aren't going to be simple, let alone safe for work.

"But if you're not comfortable doing it, it's totally fine, darling," Tom said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed your hands across the table and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He knows you have never been an avid drinker. As you've said, you are lightweight. So, if ever you wanted to back out, he's just making sure you know that you have the option to.

"No, I'm fine with it. This will be fun," you said, flashing him a true, reassuring smile of your own, squeezing his hand in return for good measure. "But can I at least have some juice or something? I'm not drinking gin straight," you added.

"Figured you'd say that," Tom said with a wide grin, rushing up from his seat and disappearing into the kitchen. He came back not long after with a bottle of orange juice on one hand all while holding a spoon and paring knife on the other. "Rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on gin and juice," he sang the good old Snoop Dogg classic no matter how corny, placing the bottle juice right beside the gin on the head of the table.

You narrowed your eyes at your man. "You seem prepared Tom."

"Nope, I just know you too well," he hummed, giving you a sweet peck on the forehead before he was back on his seat across you.

"Right, let's give the people what they want," you said, rubbing your hands together with a wide smile.

It was Tom's turn to look at you skeptically. "Why do I have a feeling that we'll just take turns in exposing each other?"

You tilted your head at him with a grin, shrugging your shoulders and said,

"How bad can it be?"

***

"And we are rolling."

"What's up guys! Tom Holland here," he introduced with a loud clap. "I'm back with another video joined by none other than the gorgeous Y/N." You waved at the camera with a sweet smile at the mention of your name. "The rest of the gang are behind the camera as per usual," Tom added, the lads cheering at their cue unenthusiastically and totally not in sync, chuckles and giggles following soon after.

"You can feel the excitement in the room," Tom said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Anyhow, since lovely Ryan Reynolds sent me a case of gin just recently, I thought; why not put it to good use?" Tom shot the camera a knowing look. "Hashtag not sponsored but should be!" he yelled, making you jump slightly at the sudden loud sound.

"Do you have to be so loud?" you grumbled, playfully covering your ears in the process.

"Oh, sorry love," Tom chuckled, shooting you a sweet smile before turning back to the camera, finger pointed at it as he said, "But Ryan, my DMs are always open."

"Always looking for someone to replace me," you sighed, shaking your head dejectedly as you turned to the camera with a deep frown.

"Ah, here we go," Tom groaned, shooting you a playful glare because he knows that the teasing would only get more and more prominent from here on out.

"What? You and I both know I've got a lot of competition," you said as a matter of fact, leaning back on your seat with arms crossed over your chest. "Mainly Jake G. and Harrison, with a couple of variations here and there but you get what I mean."

Tom shook his head at you with a teasing roll of his eyes. "Once again, my girlfriend everyone," he said to the lens with a tight lip smile before turning back to you with a deadpan expression. You only shrugged in response, flashing him an innocent smile.

"Anyway, a fan suggested this in the comments of the last video so today, we're going to be doing Truth or Drink," he continued, turning back to face the camera. "Rules are simple, we take turns on reading out the questions that are written on these cards right here"—Tom lifted the stack of white, rectangular cards before placing them back on the table—"and we either answer them truthfully or we take a drink."

"Oh and a little disclaimer," you paused as you looked at the camera. "The lads wrote the questions so we have no idea what's in the cards nor did we have any involvement in the choosing of certain topics which are possibly going to be discussed in this video," you added, feeling like it was a fact that needed to be said.

"Parental guidance is advised," Tom chuckled.

"They're not that bad you divs," Harrison grumbled.

Now you're certain on who wrote most of the questions, he's been keen on taking offense whenever anyone gets suspicious over them. "We'll be the judge of that," you stated, raising a brow at Harrison before turning back to Tom.

"Let's get right into it shall we?" Tom proposed. You gave him a nod in response, jutting out two thumbs up for good measure. "Ladies first," he said, flashing you a charming grin as he gestured towards the pile of cards.

You reached over to the pile, making sure to pick the card in the middle just to make sure that it was completely random. You adore the lads, but knowing how mischievous they can get, you've learned to always keep one eye open with regard to everything that they do. Plus, it was so easy to set it up for you to pick a certain question given that it was only you and Tom taking turns on picking a card.

"We are starting off with something a tad bit dark huh." You gave the lads a swift glance before turning to the card you had on hand. "If I killed someone would you help me cover it up?" you read out loud, placing the card on the discarded pile before your gaze landed on Tom who gave you a small, secretive nod 'yes' which only made you giggle.

Tom leaned forward as he rested his elbow on the marble surface, hand playing with his chin with his eyes on the ceiling to seem that he was deep in thought. He turned back to you and said, "Do we not get any context? Was it an accident or was it on purpose? Was it due to hate or fear? Was it justified?"

"It's a yes or no answer Tom," you laughed.

"Well then, you already know the answer but for legal purposes," Tom paused, reaching for the bucket of ice and putting some in his glass. He poured the gin on top of that and then added a dash of lime, swirling around the glass to mix them all together. "My lips are sealed," he chuckled, lifting the glass up to his lips and taking a drink. "Oh, that's good stuff," he commented, taking another sip before putting the glass back down.

"Hypothetically, if you were going to help, you'll probably be the one who'll get us caught if I'm being honest," you giggled to which Tom threw his head back with a laugh.

"Yeah, you'll tell me what you did, I'll get shocked and as we're getting stuff to you know, hypothetically hide the body, I'll go 'I can't believe you killed someone' in public and then someone will hear and call the police and we're done."

You burst out in a hearty laugh at that, nodding your head in agreement. "That's exactly how it's going to happen."

It was Tom's turn to pick a question, his grin growing wider as his eyes scanned the card in his fingers. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done in front of me?" he asked, his features brightening in excitement because he already knows the answer. There wasn't really much to begin with other than that one incident that will always haunt you for the rest of your life.

"Do you want me to tell them the story?" you sighed, leaning back on your chair with palms flat on the table. It wasn't one of your finest moments that's for sure and Tom hasn't been letting you hear the end of it. In fact, it was one of his favourite stories involving you both.

"It's up to you, love. You don't have to if you don't want to." Tom shrugged with a smirk, reaching for your glass to get your drink made. "But that moment was so adorable for me though, embarrassing for you but very adorable for me," he added with a wink.

"Adorable or ego boosting?" you pointed out with a raise of your brow.

"Both," Tom laughed, adding some ice in your glass and pouring just the right amount of gin soon after.

You watched with an adoring smile as he poured in the orange juice, the sound of silverware and glass clinking together filling the air as he mixed up the liquids. He then squeezed a bit of lime in your drink, taking the paring knife soon after to slice up another lime in a thin circle, making a small slit in the middle so he can put it on the rim of your glass easily. Tom can be extra at times, of course he felt the need to decorate your drink, even when it wasn't exactly necessary but you wouldn't want it any other way.

"Look at you being a bartender," you teased, Tom looking up from his task to shoot you playful wink with a smug smirk to match.

"You love to see it."

You shrugged, not at all denying his claim because well, you do love seeing it.

"Here you go, mi lady," he hummed, handing you your beautifully decorated drink with a proud grin on his lips.

"Thank you, kind sir."

As much as how refreshing the cocktail looked in its cold glass and bright, orange colored glory, you know you had to be strategic with drinking. Because alcohol boosts your confidence, it makes you brave, it makes you say things you wish you hadn't when sober. And with you being lightweight, it isn't exactly ideal to be happy-go-lucky with it, especially knowing how these questions can go from one thing to another real quick.

You thought it's best to share embarrassing things that you can live with to keep the drinking at a minimum, rather than take too much alcohol too fast and say worse things down the line because you got somewhat tipsy or downright drunk. There's really no way of knowing how hard it hits given that different types of alcohol affect you in different ways.

"Okay, it was when we first met, which obviously doesn't make it any less embarrassing, first impressions and all that," you started, sitting straight up as your fingers drummed around the cool surface of your glass. "Me and a friend of mine were at this park and decided it would be fun to rent out these bikes to get around quicker, so we did. Lo and behold, Tom and Harrison were also at said park—"

"Oh yeah, I remember this," Harrison laughed. "This is going to be good."

You shot the blonde lad a quick glare before continuing. "Luck wasn't on my side that day—well, depends on how you look at things because I did meet Tom and seem to have gotten far," you laughed towards the camera, giving Tom a swift glance who was quick to lock eyes with you as he nodded agreeably with a chuckle. "But add that to me being very clumsy and simply put, I fell off the bike right in front of him," you sighed dejectedly, heat coating your cheeks as the lads chuckled in their seats, purely in amusement and not at all in a demeaning way.

"Go on love, let's hear the full thing," Tom encouraged, sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed over his chest to relax, attention fully on you as if he hasn't heard this story many times before. He genuinely does love hearing it. As you've said, it was one of his favourites.

"I'm getting there," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at Tom who only flashed you an adorable, bright smile, knowing that if he does that, you can't stay mad at him. With a another sigh, you continued, "As we were riding our bikes, we saw him and Harrison sitting on this random bench from afar doing, I don't know, maybe they were on a date or something—"

"Darling, don't try and steer the topic here," Tom laughed. You stuck out your tongue at him—yes, very mature—his laughter only growing louder at your reaction.

"I'm a big fan of the Marvel movies, so obviously, I knew who he was. I was trying to keep my cool, you know, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him and thought I'll just ride pass, don't want to disturb whatever they had going on. But as soon as we got near to where they were sat, he looked towards my direction and we made eye contact—"

"The power I have," Tom crooned with a smug smile, earning a pointed eye-roll from you.

"Oh shut up. You know that wasn't the sole reason why I fell," you scoffed. "The chains on my bike went loose so I had no full control over it. We weren't going slowly as well because this friend of mine thought it was a good idea to one up each other so we kept going faster and faster, racing towards who knows what.

"So, my next option was to just plant my foot on the ground to stop it right? But as I've said, luck wasn't on my side that day. Before I could even do it, a rock went under the front wheel—which I didn't see given that I was distracted, you lot know why—and completely took me off balance and the bike went sideways real quick that I didn't have any time to react at all. And...did I roll a few times?" You turned to your boyfriend.

"Twice," he confirmed, a sympathetic smile on his lips as he tilted his head at you sweetly.

"Now, I don't see why you find this story adorable." You narrowed your eyes at your man.

"Not the actual accident, darling. It's what happened after that I found adorable. You were so cute being all shy and embarrassed," Tom defended with a pout. "And you know for a fact that whenever I see you with the smallest scrape or cut I panic and fuss over you immediately."

"You do. A bit too overdramatically," you giggled. It was a bit much sometimes how he worries but that's just Tom being the caring and overprotective boyfriend that he is. "Anyway, so yes, I rolled on the ground twice but all I remember was that I was already lying on my back, watching the sky while my knees, forearms up to my elbows and palms were burning. Then I saw Tom approaching and I swear I was just wishing that the ground would swallow me up right then and there," you finished.

"I quickly rushed to her aid, because you know, I'm Spider-Man," Tom added with a cocky shrugged, arms open wide as if to showcase himself.

There was a loud, collective groan from the lads which earned a laugh from you and a sound of pure protest from Tom.

"It's true!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, she then went, 'oh, my knight and shining armour, my handsome Prince Charming'," Tom gushed, voice at a higher pitch with the utmost exaggeration as he placed the back of his hand over his forehead. "And I went, 'don't worry princess, I'm here to save you,' and then we kissed and lived happily ever after," he concluded with the cheekiest smile.

"We remember this story very differently." You shook your head at him with a hearty laugh. This boy is always something else. "But fine, I'll give you the Prince Charming part because you did look like it.

"What you said was, 'miss, are you alright?' which was very formal of you, especially with the accent." You turned to the camera with a suggestive wiggle of your brows, making Tom drop his head shyly with a chuckle as his cheeks turned slightly pink. "And no, we didn't kiss. You don't kiss people you just met Thomas, get a hold of yourself. He helped me up and was kind enough to offer to take me to the hospital which wasn't needed since it was just a few cuts and scrapes but still insisted that I get checked. Who knew you'd be overprotective since day one," you laughed.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle. "We got to know each other while in the hospital and after she got cleaned up, I thought, I liked talking to her and I really don't want to say goodbye just yet. So, I invited her to lunch which she surprisingly said yes," he teased, sarcasm laced in his tone at his last sentence as he shot the camera a knowing and smug look. You kicked him lightly under the table, the action catching him off guard making him let out a yelp.

"It was more of me being polite because you helped and that. Didn't want to seem rude by saying no," you said, Tom gasping in full offense at your words. You let out a laugh as you rushed, "I'm kidding! Of course I wanted to go to lunch with you. It was impossible to say no because you've been really sweet and a real gentleman that day. And well, it was fun hanging out with you."

Tom smiled widely at that, nothing but pure love coating his features as he held your gaze, hand sneaking over to yours that was on the table and giving it a quick but loving squeeze.

"Where did Harrison go?" Harry wondered, the blonde boy suddenly turning silent and surely enough when you gave him a swift glance, he was already blushing.

"I had my friend with me, Tom had Harrison, you do the math," you said plainly, laughter laced in your tone.

"Oh, so you got some that day," Tuwaine chuckled, nudging the boy beside him with his elbow.

"Shut up, Tuwaine," Harrison grumbled, swatting away his friend lightly.

"But in conclusion, I am a superhero in real life," Tom stated proudly, swiping away the imaginary dust that was lying on his shoulder. He turned to the camera with a bright and wide smile. "But I do thank that bike every day."

"A bit sadistic but okay," you added, looking at Tom skeptically with a scrunch of your nose.

"No! I meant we wouldn't have gotten to know each other if that didn't happen," Tom rushed, lips turning into a pout when you only did nothing but laugh. "You're mean."

"You're just too adorable not to pick on," you giggled, his pout turning more prominent at your words.

You so badly wanted to get up off your seat and give him a proper kiss, but those things are always reserved privately. You two had never been big with public displays of affection, just the casual holding hands and occasional hugs. There are a few instances where you'll sneak a quick kiss while hanging out with friends but that's different compared to it being on tape for the whole world to see later on.

"Anyhow, what's the most embarrassing thing that you have done in front of me?" You asked back, your turn to grin wide because you know which story it was going to be, the way Tom's cheeks were quick to be dusted red was a clear indication that you were right.

"I'm smooth as hell, would never embarrass myself in front of a lady," he said casually, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, all cool and suave.

"Oh shut up and tell the story," you said with a playful roll of your eyes, Tom letting out a shy chuckle before he leaned on the table.

"Right, it was our second date and I split my trousers open," he said, short and sweet, though his blush was already deepening because Tom knows the sharing won't stop there.

"Wait, how open?" Tuwaine asked.

"Like full on, centre to back, underwear and inner thighs with a bit of butt showing open. It would have been a bit better if I wore black pants—boxers to the American people—and black trousers right? But me being unlucky, I went for light-coloured denim jeans and black pants that day so it's fully obvious that I did ripped my trousers open," he chuckled shyly, hand going to rub at his shoulder, body slightly crouched as he refused to look away from his glass of gin.

"Go on Thomas, let's hear the full thing," you prodded, throwing his previous words right back at him.

He lifted his head up to shoot you a playful glare, though sat straighter anyway, elbows now on the table with his hands clasped together as he got ready to tell his story. "We were well underway our second date, a simpler one which was a walk in a somewhat less crowded park—"

"What's with you two and parks?" Harrison pointed out with a chuckle.

"Disaster just waiting to happen as you can tell," Tom laughed.

"We've steered clear from parks after all these incidents," you joked with a giggle.

"I did a flip and didn't land the right way was basically what happened," Tom continued, turning to the camera with a look of dismay. "We were walking by a couple of street dancers who were practicing a routine and they were doing all sorts of flips and tricks. She stopped walking completely and watched—wait, correction, stared at this certain bloke who was doing backflips—"

"I was not staring," you butted in. "I was just watching him do his thing and said how cool it was. And why are you making it seem like it's my fault?" you gasped, placing a hand over your heart, feign offence crossing your features.

"I'm not!" Tom laughed, hands up in surrender before he crossed his arms over his chest. "All I'm saying was that I was trying to impress you, which is why I offered to show you a flip. And as everyone in this room knows, I do the stupidest things when trying to impress a girl, especially when I like her that much."

"I was already impressed by you as is Tom, you didn't need to do a flip," you said as a matter of fact, small giggles escaping your lips as you looked at him with nothing but pure adoration. Tom felt his heart melt at the sight and more by your words. "And besides, I already knew you could do it. But somehow you felt the need to prove yourself after you saw me complimenting that dancer," you added.

"It's what you call ego, Tom," Harry laughed.

"Shut up, Harry." Tom shot his brother a glare though chuckled right after because it was in fact a bit true.

It was the silliest thing thinking back on it now, how he just said 'you want to see me do a flip?' out of the blue. You furrowed your brows at him in response, though your smile was laced with amusement. He just wanted to impress you as he'd said. And fine, maybe his ego got struck at teeny bit, and maybe he felt a little jealous that your attention got torn off of him because he truly did like you that much.

But at the end of the day, even though he had a little mishap, it all worked out so he wasn't at all complaining. "Anyway, so I did the flip, completely disregarding the fact that my shoes were slippy and my trousers were tight. I did land upright and not on my face this time so that's something," Tom chuckled. "But my right foot slipped so I was full on going on a wide split which I normally can't do since I am not flexible enough and proceeded to fall on my bum.

"The moment I heard the sound I instantly knew and just went, 'oh no' and remained on the ground because I didn't know what to do then. I was already embarrassed because I slipped, do I really want to tell her I tore open my trousers too?" Tom laughed timidly, the blush on his cheeks turning redder as he rubbed the back of his neck in utter embarrassment.

"I kind of knew right away though because I did hear something rip," you giggled. "He then just slowly stood up, hands behind, flat on his bum and said, 'I split my trousers open' in the smallest voice like a kid who's scared to tell their mum they fell or they'll get scolded. Plus his face was beet red, just like now." You pointed towards your boyfriend, who in turn stuck his tongue out at you as his blush turned into an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Thank God I wore a jacket that day and I was able to at least hide it until we got back to the car or else someone would've clocked it, took a picture, posted it on the internet and it would've made things much worse," Tom pointed out with a chuckle, glad that there was no paparazzi or it would've been a nightmare. "And the fact that you tried so hard not to laugh but still failed made me feel so embarrassed that I was quick to think that that was it. I ruined my chances, no more third date," he added as he turned to you with a small pout.

"I couldn't help laughing because it was the most adorable thing how you went from being all confident and cocksure on doing a flip to this shy boy who refused to look me in the eyes without turning even redder," you said, pure amusement laced in your tone. "But no, that incident made me like you more, it was just too endearing. Third date never left the table after that," you concluded with a sweet smile which only made Tom's grin grow wider.

"Even though she laughed, she was so sweet and kind about it. We had to cut our date shor—actually no, we didn't. We went back to your place and decided to do a movie marathon instead," Tom said fondly, face glowing with joy as the memory brought nothing but warmth across his chest.

"Yeah, with you wearing a pair of my sweatpants," you giggled, mirroring his expression as your mind recalled the sweet moment of you and him, simply cuddled up on the couch.

"And that's on getting the girl by splitting your trousers open," Tom said with a smug smile, pointing at the camera as he shot it a knowing look with a wriggle of his brows.

"And getting the boy by falling off a bike," you added, doing exactly what he did as you turned to face the lens.

"Look at us," Tom gushed, looking back at you with a smile, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "Hey, look at us."

"Look at us. Who would've thought?" you giggled, giving his hand a squeeze in return.

You were always quick to catch on what he was trying to do that Tom couldn't help but smile widely, heart melting ten times over at the thought of you knowing him so well. "Not me," Tom chuckled, letting go of your hand and holding up his palm for a high-five to which you gladly obliged with laughs of your own.

"You two are made for each other," Harry chuckled with a shake of his head, now just getting that you two were recreating the famous Paul Rudd meme.

"My turn right?" Tom asked. You nodded with a hum as you pushed the pile of cards towards him. He let out a loud scoff once he read the question, his reaction making you raise a brow in both curiosity and slight dread. "Be honest," he said as he looked up from the paper, gaze landing on you. "Who do you love more, me," he paused for dramatic effect, narrowing his eyes at you before continuing, "Or Tessa?"

You let out a small groan as you hang your head low, fingers tracing the side of your cold glass. You let out a sigh of defeat before you met Tom's expectant gaze. "I can't possibly answer that question," you grumbled, bringing the glass up to your lips as you took a swift drink before placing it back down.

"That was such a tiny sip," Harrison pointed out.

"Alright, alright, I guess we can tell who the bad influence here is," you said with a teasing roll of your eyes, but still took another drink anyway, taking in more of it this time around. You just want to play the game fair and square. "You actually made that really well. It's really good," you hummed at Tom as you placed your drink back down, the lad grinning widely in response.

"Why thank you, darling," Tom crooned, voice smooth with a pride-filled smile, pushing over the pile of cards back in the middle of the table to get you to ask the next question.

"Okay, who wrote this?" You turned to the boys behind the camera with a raise of your brow. "If the alcohol wasn't going to do it, then this will definitely get the video restricted, unless you're going to bleep some words out?" You turned to Harry.

"I've got that covered," Harry laughed.

Glancing back at the card you had on hand, you asked, "If our sex life was porn, what genre would it be?" You looked up at Tom to see him try his best to hold back a smirk.

"Nope, not answering that," he laughed with a shake of his head as he lifted his glass off the table. "Mainly because there are too many genres that it would fit for me to only pick one," Tom muttered softly against his drink as he looked at you through his lashes. His words were muffled but you still heard it, you were closer to him after all. You felt your cheeks heat up at that, even more so when your man shot you a teasing wink before downing the shot of gin not long after.

Tom set his glass down and reached over to take another card. "What does your family think of me?" he asked with a clear of his throat.

"Well..." You slowly dragged your drink closer to you, Tom's mouth falling agape that you couldn't help but burst into a hearty laugh. "I'm kidding! You already know how much they love you," you said. "I mean, my parents call him 'son' so." You shrugged as you turned to the camera. Tom puffed out his chest all proud with a very smug smile on his lips. You rolled your eyes, sighing as you added, "They probably even love you more than they love me."

Tom chuckled, "My family loves you more than they love me, too—"

"I can vouch for that," Harry intervened.

"Thanks, Harry," Tom said sarcastically, flashing his brother a forced smile. Turning back to you, he finished, "So, I guess we're even."

You could only nod with a soft giggle, reaching over to the stack of cards to keep the pace going. "Lads! What's with these kinds of questio—you know what, I don't even expect any less from you guys," you sighed, pursing your lips as you re-read the question again before sitting straight up and looked into Tom's eyes. "What would you do if you caught me watching porn?" you asked.

"Watch it with you and help get it done, duh?" he answered without hesitation, leaning back on his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Have done a couple times actually," Tom murmured, somewhat to himself, though not really since everyone in the room—and pretty sure the camera—heard it.

"Tom!" you hissed.

You felt your body tingle, legs instinctively closing together as the countless moments it happened replayed itself inside your brain. Although what he said wasn't false, it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't exactly catch you red handed, never did since you don't watch porn often.

All you did was asked him—merely out of curiosity—what type he mostly watches. Your question sparked an idea in his head which led to you sitting in between his legs, bare back against his naked chest as the laptop sat right in front of you both with the video of his choice.

Tom then made his way with you while you watched, making sure you never take your eyes off the couple on screen or else. He was always fully in control over you every time you do it, his fingers sometimes delicate, mostly rough, touch hot and heavy all over your skin, lips warm on your neck, teeth sharp against your bare shoulder as he brings you to the edge over and over and over with nothing but his hands. And once the video ends, Tom will take it upon himself to re-enact the whole of it with you—if you could still take it of course—bringing what was on screen to real life, full recreation from start to finish.

Best believed you're properly blissed out at the stop of every play.

Your boyfriend's eyes widened once he realized the actual volume of his voice, face turning a deep shade of red, sitting straight abruptly as he rushed, "No! Wait—dammit." Tom casted his eyes down shyly when the boys let out exaggerated gasps and sounds of disapproval, a telltale sign that they already heard it. "I'm sorry, darling." He met your gaze again as he shot you a sheepish smile, his head tilted to the side guiltily to which you only responded with a shake of your head.

Typical Thomas.

"Bleurgh, too much info," Harrison gagged, the other boys following suit with their own sounds of repulsion.

"Oh fuck off you divs. You guys wrote the questions so obviously, you wanted to find out," Tom countered, shooting the lads a glare each.

"We didn't expect you to actually answer it!" Harry defended.

"We're cutting that whole part out, no way that's going up online," you grumbled, eyes staring at nothing but your drink as you tried to hide the obvious embarrassment that's coated your features.

Tom reached across the table to give your hand a squeeze, you meeting his gaze to see him mouth a gentle 'I'm sorry.' You flashed him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand in return to tell him that it was alright. It wasn't live so there wasn't any real harm done, aside from future jokes from the boys. That you can deal with than having that confidential information on the internet which will then follow you around for the rest of eternity.

Letting go of your hand, Tom sat straighter and turned to the camera. "If you guys are wondering why there's a jump cut and my face is suddenly so red, it's because I spilled something I shouldn't have that we had to cut it out. And no, it's something you'll never find out," he chuckled shyly, knowing that once the video goes out, fans are going to be so annoyed and will pester him—and everyone in the room—nonstop to try and find out what was cut.

Better that, than embarrassing you in front of millions though, so he'll deal with them no problem. Because as promised, if you weren't comfortable with it staying in the video, then it gets cut out, no questions asked. You and what you're comfortable with always come first in Tom's book.

"Yet again, thank God we didn't do this live," you muttered with a playful roll of your eyes.

Tom shot you one last apologetic smile before he cleared his throat, "Right, moving on." He shifted in his seat and took another card from the pile. "What's the one thing you'd change about me?" he asked.

"Your height," you answered without missing a beat. You chewed on your lip to suppress a grin but still failed miserably, especially when Tom looked at you with his jaw hanging and his eyes wide open.

A chorus of 'ooh's erupted from the boys which only prompted a laugh from you, the joyous sound growing louder when they started to rub it to Tom even more.

"Pfft, apply ice on the burnt area," Harry said as he blew out his cheeks.

"Mate, she's just bodied you with that," Tuwaine tutted at Tom, rising up from his seat soon after to offer you a high-five. You gladly obliged with a laugh, Tom gawking at you with utmost betrayal on his face.

"You're lucky you're very cute, especially when you laugh," Tom grumbled as he shot you a playful glare. The crinkles on the corner of your eyes deepened as you only smiled brightly at him with a tilt of your head, which honestly made you look even more endearing. He could never be mad at you, too whipped to hold a grudge no matter how much you tease him. And besides, that's all there is to it, nothing but teasing jokes and banter.

"If I were you, Tom, I'd start taking those growth pills before she starts to question why she's even with you," Harrison proposed jokingly which earned boisterous laughter from the rest of the gang.

"You lot are so fucking overdramatic. I'm not that short," Tom quipped with a roll of his eyes, gaze landing back on you with his famous pout now in play yet again. "And babe, it's a truth or drink video, not a roast me video," he stated, palms flat on cool marble as he looked at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm joking! I'm joking," you rushed with a giggle. "I wouldn't change a single thing. You know I love you, just the way you are," you sang the last line, though your voice held nothing but sincerity as you reached over to give his hand a loving squeeze. Tom nodded with a sigh, though never did he doubt your words, knowing it deep in his bones that physical traits would never outweigh how much you love him, no matter what.

"Right, let's keep this going," you said as you took another card. "Who is smarter, me or you?" you asked.

"Me," Tom said proudly.

"Well, that's a lie," you objected.

Tom couldn't help but laugh at that, nodding at you as he chuckled, "It's you, obviously. Have you seen the last video?"

"Hmm, I don't know, I think Tom's smarter. I mean, you decided to date him, Y/N, which isn't exactly the brightest decision," Harry inferred, earning a loud gasp from his older brother.

"Excellent point," you agreed, your boyfriend's head whipping towards your direction with nothing but absolute offense written on his face.

"Babe! You're supposed to be on my side!" Tom exclaimed. "Why are we roasting me all of a sudden?" he complained.

"You're just too fun to pick on," you laughed, Tom's bottom lip jutting out at your words. "Especially when you do that, too cute," you pointed out, the apples of Tom's cheek turning pink as a smile grew on his lips at the compliment. "But I am smarter," you concluded, shooting the camera a wink.

"Will not refute," Tom chuckled, keeping the flow of the game as he took another card. "If you weren't with me, who of my brothers would you consider dating?" he said, voice pitching higher at the last few words. A look of downright disgust covered Tom's face immediately as he looked at the boys behind the camera who were snickering like the mischievous little shits that they are. "You lot are grim."

You matched Tom's expression, scrunching your nose as you shook your head quickly. Having been with Tom long enough, you now see the three of the Holland boys as your own brothers, so the mere thought of dating any of them is just—

"I'm not even going to think about it," you grumbled as you took a sip of your cocktail and then picked a card right away. "Who's the celebrity who you were the most disappointed with when you met them?" you continued swiftly, a smile on your lips as you looked at Tom who let out a sigh.

"You know I can't answer that," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, your smile growing wider as you picked up the bottle of gin and refilled his glass. "Thank you, darling," he chuckled with a shake of his head, taking a drink right after.

"Is there anyone in my friend group, famous or not, that you do not like?" Tom continued with a raise of his brow, gaze steady on you.

You emptied your glass—that was still half full—without a single word and placed it back down with a small burp. "Oh, excuse me," you cleared your throat with a laugh.

Tom's brows furrowed at you in mere curiosity, gesturing for your glass so he can remake you another drink. You slid it over to him with a soft 'thank you' and a sweet smile. He started opening up the bottle of juice though his eyes were still on you, narrowed in pure skepticism.

"Who?"

"Not part of the question, Tom," you said, flashing him an innocent smile

"I know who it is," Harry coughed fakely.

"Me too," Tuwaine added with a fake cough of his own.

"It's Harrison because he's trying to take you away from me," you commented, laughing at how the blonde lad gasped in utter protest.

"That's a lie because I know who it is too," Harrison defended.

"So, everyone knows except me?" Tom mused, rolling his eyes in the process.

"What else is new?" you giggled with a shrugged, Tom only sighing as he shot you yet another pout. This boy never ceases to use it since he knows you always swoon whenever he does. 'I'll tell you later,' you mouthed, making him nod with a proud smile.

You gently leaned back on your seat, closing your eyes when you felt a little woozy. You took in slow, deep breaths, the marble cold against your palms as your body started to grow warmer from head to toe.

Maybe downing that drink wasn't the best idea.

"You okay, darling?" Tom asked sweetly, tilting his head at you in worry as he went to take your hand in his. His brows knitted together when your skin felt unusually warm in his palms.

"Yeah," you giggled, opening your eyes to meet his concern-filled brown ones, flashing him a reassuring smile and a nod to match as you gave his hand a squeeze. "Just the alcohol slowly kicking in."

"Want to take a minute, sweetheart?"

"No, I'm good. Go on and ask the question bubba," you prompted as you beamed at him, Tom's heart melting at the beautiful curve on your features and more by the sound of that sweet nickname. Although, he knew that you'd reached your calm before the storm.

You're always smiley and extra sweet when you start to get a little tipsy. But from here on out, especially if you decide to take even more alcohol, you start switching from calm to giddily energetic. That's when the words would start flowing out your lips before your brain could even register what you've just said.

Tom replaced your hand with a white card once he was sure you were fine. A cheeky grin erupted on his face as he asked, "What's your favourite sex position?"

You pursed your lips, eyes landing on the ceiling, fingers drumming on the marble surface of the table as you pondered on it for a second. Tom watched you intently, a soft chuckle escaping him when you met his gaze again with a sweet yet shy smile.

"I've got three though," you said, mostly to him but in a not-so-hush tone. Your mind and your mouth don't cooperate sometimes when there's alcohol in the mix.

"Different one for a different mood," Tom hummed with a smirk, finishing up your drink with a squeeze of lime, mixing it up before sliding it back towards you. "Just say one or take a drink, darling."

"I need to slow down with drinking or else I'll be saying much worse things. I can already feel my filter shutting down," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at Tom for a bit of help. "But do I really want this out in the world?"

"Oh, go on Y/N, live a little," Harrison prodded with nothing but utter mischief in his eyes.

You don't know why but somehow, Harrison words were the last straw for that burst of confidence to suddenly overflow. Boldness coated your every nerve as you squeezed your eyes shut and straight up blurted,

"Doggy."

Tom's eyes grew wide, both of his brows rising as he looked at you surprised. Yes, doggy was one of your—and his—favourites, he already knew that, what surprised him was you actually saying it out loud. Although he was swift to turn cocky as he leaned back on his seat, arms crossed over his chest while he kept his gaze steady on you.

As you peaked one eye, you saw that certain smirk of his now playing on his pink lips, one you only ever see privately. You felt your face heat up at that, added from the alcohol and embarrassment. The warmth was quick to spread to the rest of your body though, with the way he was looking at you, it was so hard for it not too. And as your eyes fully soaked him in, gaze traveling from his handsome face sporting that teasing smirk to his bulging biceps, the temperature could only rise. Your senses was now somewhat heightened that you were able to notice every single thing that made your man so fucking attractive and downright hot.

Since when did his hoodie grow even tighter? And damn, why is it so hot all of a sudden? It's probably the alcohol, or mainly just Tom, or simply both.

"Favourite type of porn!" you hear someone from the gang call out—probably Harrison since he's been causing trouble from the very start—interrupting your thoughts. With the alcohol in your system, just as expected, your brain genuinely forgot to take control of your tongue before you could even tell yourself: 'don't!'

"Sometimes hardcore," you let out, slapping your hand over your mouth immediately as your eyes grew wide. You quickly met Tom's eyes, his brown orbs glowing with shock, amusement and a sprinkle of lust. He gave you a soft nod with a soft smile in response, confirming that yes, you said it out loud, and yes it was already too late. "Oh no, this was what I meant when I needed to slow down on alcohol," you groaned, rubbing your hand over your warm face before looking back across your man with a pout.

"Aye! Hardcore doggy yeah?" Harrison cheered teasingly, moving towards Tom and giving his best friend a pat on the shoulder. Tom threw his head back with a laugh, face red but the look of utmost pride was also there. Harrison swiftly offered his fist to Tom, to which the brunette gladly indulged, their knuckles colliding as chuckles escaped the two mates.

You let out a choked laugh as your eyes widened in surprise, jaw going slack with your face heating up even more. "Did you guys just fist bump to that?"

"I mean." Tom shrugged, throwing his hands up with the smuggest grin, causing you to shake your head dejectedly with a groan. You shot Harrison a pointed glare when he went back to his seat, still snickering to his heart's content as if his master plan was in the works.

What a little shit.

"I'm definitely not going to let my parents watch this video," you mumbled with a roll of your eyes.

"I've got a question for Tom though," Tuwaine started, though the glimmer in his eyes told you it wasn't a clean one. "Do you grab it or do you smack it?"

Tom wheezed before erupting into a very rowdy laugh, hands slapping on his thigh as his body shook in nothing but pure enjoyment, his face red from a mixture of embarrassment, glee and the alcohol.

"Oh my—right! Next question!" you squeaked, not giving your boyfriend any time to answer as you attempted to swiftly move on.

"Wait, wait," Tom breathed out as he slowly calmed down, getting up from his seat as he went over to your side. "Harry stop recording for a sec," he called out to his younger brother before he gestured for you to turn until your back was facing the camera.

Tom crouched down in front of you, hands on your knees with a sweet, reassuring smile on his lips. "We'll edit out the parts you're not comfortable with to stay in the vid, alright?" he stated softly.

You nodded with a smile of your own, taking his hand in yours as you played with his fingers. "I'm not opposed to keeping the last two questions since everyone has their favourite position and type of porn. It's normal," you hummed, tilting your head at him as you added, "You saying you've helped me with, you know, that was much more private though, 'cause it's our thing."

"I know, I'm sorry, love," Tom apologized, voice soft but coated with sincerity as his hand went up to cup your face lovingly, brown eyes gazing up into yours with just the same emotions. "We're cutting that part out, I promise."

"But you think your fans would take these questions well?" you queried, leaning into his touch in a way that made Tom's heart do flips inside his chest.

He nodded. "Yeah, I think it's fine. The video is going to be age restricted anyway. And besides, we're both adults, so there's nothing wrong with it," he explained. You hummed in agreement, leaning your head on his hand as you closed your eyes with a soft sigh, your skin very warm against his palm. Tom moved closer to give your lips a sweet peck. "Want some water angel?"

"No, I'm good." You smiled, Tom nodding as he mirrored your grin, giving your lips another kiss before he stood back to his full height and then sat back on his seat.

Shooting Harry the go signal to start recording again, Tom chuckled, "Sorry, needed to cool down for a sec after that." He turned towards the camera, tugging at the collar of his hoodie as he blew out his cheeks to get a point across.

You could only roll your eyes at your man, his laugh growing louder at your reaction. Swiftly taking a card from the pile, you continued with the game. "Is this going to be the theme from here on out, lads?" you asked, eyeing the boys behind the camera suspiciously before you turned back to Tom. "Is there something in the bedroom you'd like to try that you haven't told me?"

Tom's cheeks turned even redder at the question, completely shying away now as his hand went to rub at his shoulder. "I can't think of one right now," he muttered as he looked at you sheepishly. "But no, I'm not answering that since we talk about that off camera anyway," Tom settled with a timid chuckle, refilling his glass and taking a drink of the gin soon after.

"Your turn," you giggled, pushing the pile towards him.

"Oh, okay. What a way to shift the topic," Tom breathed out, scanning the card one more time as he sat up straighter. "If I was in a coma how long would you wait for me?" he asked, meeting your gaze with a tender smile.

"I'll keep waiting for you until you wake up, no matter how long," you answered, without even a single inch of doubt, despite the slight shake in your voice as your eyes started to well up. "Never giving up on you."

"Darling," Tom cooed softly with a pout, the screeching sound of his chair echoing around the space as he pushed his seat back. He went back over to your side quickly, remaining on his feet as he leaned down to engulf you in a tight and warm embrace, swaying you side to side in the most comforting way as he whispered sweet nothings against your hair.

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath, the material of his hoodie soft against your cheek. You willed your brain not to think much of it, to not dwell on that thought and focus more on the Tom's warmth that's coated you right now. Or else you'll end up a bawling mess, and with the alcohol in your system, it's not a good idea to start crying now.

Your man pulled away gently with a charming smile, cupping your face with both hands as he towered over your seated form. "I'd do the exact same, just so you know," he hummed, brown eyes locked with yours, his thumbs caressing your cheeks fondly before he dipped his head to capture your lips in a loving kiss. You let out a sweet sigh as you melt at the feeling of his soft lips on yours, mind and heart at ease at familiar warmth. The gesture wasn't fully caught on camera though given that you were turned at the opposite direction.

"I love you," you hummed against his lips.

Tom chuckled sweetly, giving you a few more pecks on the lips before pulling away completely, staring right into your eyes as he whispered, "And I love you."

With that he went back to his seat again, flashing you one of his many charming grins before he turned to the group behind the camera.

"You lot are onto something I can tell," Tom said as he raised a brow at the lads who suspiciously grew quiet, looking everywhere in the room but at you two.

Not thinking much of it, you swiftly took another card and read the question. "What would you do if you suddenly get a call that I was gone?" you trailed off at the end of your sentence, brows knitting together as you turned to the group behind the camera. "Guys, this is a cruel question."

"Oh," Tom faltered, smile slowly slipping away from his face as he casted his eyes at his drink.

"Tom, you don't have to answer it," you called out softly, frown deep on your lips as you reached over to take both his hands in yours. But it was already too late when he squeezed your hand tightly, lifting his head back up to meet your gaze and you felt your heart ache. That's when you saw that his mind was already there, brown orbs glossed up as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'd literally shut down," he croaked. "I-I don't know what'd I do if that happens. I just can't imagine my life without you. I—" he stopped, head dropping as his voice broke.

"Oh Tom, come here," you cooed as you immediately got out of your seat and rounded the table, turning him around and away from shot for a bit of privacy. You squatted in between his legs that were spread apart to be much closer to him, gently cupping his face with both your hands so that you were now within eye level. "Hey, look at me," you whispered when you were met by eyes that were screwed shut.

With a deep intake of breath, Tom willed his eyes to open. He looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips, heart steadying at the sight of your beautiful orbs boring into his own. He leaned forward to close the distance between you two, just so he could feel your lips on his. Tom badly needed to. A soft satisfied sigh erupted out your chest as your hand took home on his warm cheek.

"I'm still here bubba. I'm not going anywhere," you hummed against his lips before giving him warm kisses all over his face that made him stifle out a small laugh. You pulled away a little with a loving smile, wiping away the few tears that sat on his skin with your thumb, your touch gentle and warm.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Tom whispered as he looked at you fondly, nudging the tip of his nose with yours in a wholesome manner.

"I love you too, you sweet, soft boy," you giggled, placing a sweet peck on his lips before pulling him in for a hug. You lifted your head up to shoot each of the boys a sharp glare, the three cowering away in their seats as they each said their soft apologies.

Pulling away with a smile, you cupped Tom's face with a hum, "Better?"

"Loads," Tom sighed with a sweet smile, leaning in for one last peck before he lets you go back to your seat. "You purposely put that in there to make me cry didn't you?" Tom spoke, narrowing his eyes at boys who only shrugged in feign innocence. "You lot are evil I tell you."

"Now let's get back on a lighter note!" you exclaimed, pushing the cards towards Tom since it was his turn to ask.

Tom pursed his lips as his brows furrowed at the question. "If you could sleep with any person in the world, who would it be?" he wondered, eyes locking with yours in warning. "Now, careful with your answer, love," he hummed.

"Is that a threat Holland?" you challenged with a raise of your brow.

"I'm just saying, I may already know or will meet this person in the futur—"

"Chris Hemsworth," you blurted, Tom's mouth falling open as he gawked at you in shock. "I'm kidding," you rushed with a hearty laugh.

"Are you though?" Tom doubted, squinting at you suspiciously.

You bit your bottom lip as you held his gaze, Tom letting out a loud gasp when you suddenly took a drink all while maintaining eye contact with him.

"I'm going to have a word with you later missy," he grumbled, voice suddenly an octave deeper, somewhat a soft growl, one that you felt down to your core.

You shifted in your seat with a clear of your throat, shooting him an innocent smile as you said, "To be fair, you did say—publicly may I add—that you'd sleep with Hemsworth too when you did fuck, marry and kill with the three Chrises so, roll the clip!"

Tom shook his head at you with a playful roll of his eyes. "Touché," he sighed, brows furrowed in confusion when you suddenly covered your mouth.

"Oops, I just realized I said the F-word, sorry Harry," you said meekly, a certain smile on your lips which guaranteed that you were now dancing onto drunken territory. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, if the way you were smiling wasn't enough then, the simple look in your eyes would let him know that the alcohol has fully hit you this time.

"It's alright. One bleep word is nothing compared to last week's video. And it's not like this video has been clean anyway," the young twin chuckled.

"So, Fuck Hemsworth, who are you marrying and who are you killing?" Tuwaine asked.

"Marry Evans, Kill Pratt," you answered promptly.

Tom leaned back on his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest, running his tongue over his teeth slowly all while staring you down. "That's a quick answer Y/N," he hummed, shooting you a teasing glare.

"Oh please, yours was quick too, Thomas," you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest as you mirrored him, never backing down from his stare even though it was making you feel certain things.

"Wait, if you're marrying Evans and killing Pratt, and I'm marrying Pratt and killing Evans, does that mean we're set out to kill each other's husband?" Tom started as he leaned forward and towards the table.

"So, if you were successful in killing Evans, and I was successful in killing Pratt, that means we're both widowed," you continued, laying your hands now flat on the marble surface.

"Meaning there's still a chance that we will still end up together. Meant to be if you ask me," Tom concluded, lifting up a hand.

You moved forward to give him a high-five, missing his hand by a lot which made you let out a loud, hearty laugh, Tom following suit with laughs of his own.

"What are you two on?" Harrison said with a crinkle of his nose.

"Alcohol," you and Tom answered at the same time. Both of your mouths turned into the shape of O's as you looked at each other properly delighted.

"Jinx!" both of you exclaimed in unison. "Jinx again!"

"Our mental synchronization; can have but one explanation," you and Tom sang in harmony, never breaking your gaze as you both smiled proudly.

"You—"

"And I—"

"Were—"

"Just—"

"Meant to be!" You two ended with fits of laughter, raising your hands to go for another high five. You missed Tom's hand again which only made you wheeze, tears of joy brimming in yours and his eyes as you tried for the second time, both of you cheering loudly when it finally landed.

"Cringe, really made for each other," Harry gagged teasingly with a grimace to match.

And then Harrison intervened. "How about fuck, marry, kill, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Felton and," he paused, grin turning wider like a Cheshire cat as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. "Tom Holland?"

"That's not part of the game," you protested with a pout.

"Answer the question, darling," Tom encouraged, looking at you expectantly.

"I'm taking a shot," you muttered, going for your drink but before you could even do so, Tom had already taken it far away from your reach. "Hey!" you whined.

Tom chuckled softly as he shook his head no. "You said it's not part of the game so no, you have to answer," he said. "And that's enough alcohol for you, my love," he cooed, tilting his head at you knowingly with a sweet smile. If Tom will let you continue with the drinking then you'll surely be complaining nonstop about the throbbing headache you'll get and the constant nausea after all this.

You sat back on your chair with your bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed over your chest to match, much like a child as you started to think about your answer. Although the process took way longer than you'd expect it to be and the boys were quick to notice.

"Uh oh, she's having a hard time," Harry teased when a few long seconds has gone by and you still haven't given an answer.

"I don't know how I feel about the hesitation here," Tom admitted as he looked at you curiously, brows furrowing with a chuckle when you were still deep in thought after a few seconds more.

"She genuinely is having a hard time," Tuwaine laughed.

"This is so unfair," you grumbled dejectedly as you looked at your man with a sweet, adorable pout, silently asking for help.

"What'd you do with me first to make things easier," Tom offered with a chuckle.

As if there was a hidden message to his words—there wasn't—your face suddenly lit up, slapping your palms on the table excitedly as you sat straighter. "You know what, kill the other two and I'll fuck and marry you," you declared heartily, eyes locked securely with Tom's with the proudest grin playing on your lips.

Tom's heart did somersaults at the mere fact of you wanting to marry him, grin wide and bright as he stared into your orbs, utmost love glowing in yours that was wholesomely mirrored by his brown ones.

It wasn't long until Tom felt his blood rush down though, heat dancing on his skin as his brain got occupied with the thought of you fucking him too. Certain memories flooded his mind, one after the other that it was getting harder for him to stay calm in his seat.

You are honestly giving him a whiplash with how you make him feel one emotion to another in a span of seconds, though Tom wasn't at all complaining.

"That's not how the game works!" Harrison exclaimed.

"I'm pretty happy with that answer," Tom shrugged with a wide, cocky grin, eyes never leaving yours as he raised a brow at you suggestively. You held his gaze with a tilt of your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth to try and stop your smile from growing.

The interaction didn't go unnoticed by Harry though. "Okay, stop eye-fucking each other you horny teenagers," the younger brother complained.

Tom laughed at that, shifting in his seat as he turned towards the camera. "On that note, we're ending the video there. This has been Tom Holland," he paused, giving you a nod as a cue.

"And Mrs. Holland," you blurted at the camera with a smile, eyes widening once you realised the choice of words you've just used. "Oh wait! No! Fuc—I don't mean no as in 'no,' I meant not yet," you fumbled. "We're not even engaged yet! Don't start with the headlines you." You pointed at the camera in warning.

He shook his head with a chuckle, red tinting his cheeks but pure admiration glowed in his eyes. "You own my fucking heart, you know that? You make me melt all the damn time," Tom gushed through gritted teeth, and it was taking a whole lot of his self-control to not jump over the table and just kiss you senseless. You felt your heart grow at his words but you could only bury your face in your hands with a groan of pure embarrassment. "She's drunk, my apologies," Tom added with a laugh as he turned towards the camera.

"Tipsy, there's a difference," you corrected as you shot him a glare.

Tom chuckled, smiling at you widely before turning back to the lens. "Anyway, see you on the next one and peace!" he finished with the sign and then a salute, Harry throwing out an upturned thumb to signal cut.

Once he saw that the camera was off, Tom was out of his seat in record speed, moving over to your now standing form as he swiftly wrapped both his arms around your waist and crashed his lips onto yours with a low groan. His arms tightened around you as he relished the feeling of finally having you so close.

You giggled against the kiss, resting your arms over his shoulders as you leaned back on the table to keep your balance, your bum half-rested on the marble while your foot stayed steady on the floor, legs apart so that Tom can situate himself between them easily.

"So, fuck and marry me huh?" Tom hummed deeply against your mouth, playfully nibbling at your bottom lip before pulling away so he can see your gorgeous face fully.

"Out of all the things I've said, that's what stuck with you?" you giggled with a shake of your head.

"I mean, you fucking me will never fail to sound very hot, reminds me of the few times you did." Tom wriggled his brows at you suggestively, hands giving your waist as teasing squeeze. "Though I don't know which one's hotter, that or you marrying me," he said with the proudest smirk.

"Will you two take this somewhere else?" Harry complained, always the last one to be left in the room given that he's mostly in-charge with taking care of the camera. Harrison and Tuwaine were already gone, continuing whatever they had to do that day.

"Don't think that would make a difference though," Tom chuckled smugly, looking back at you with a knowing grin.

"Which reminds me how we need to sound proof the fucking walls you nasty rabbits."

"I was kidding. We're not that loud fuck off," Tom remarked, rolling his eyes at his brother.

And to prove how wrong Tom's point was, Harrison suddenly started moaning so piercingly right in the next room, his voice a bit muffled but you can still hear him, loud and obnoxious.

"Fuck! Love! Fuck yes! Just like that, darling! Shit baby I'm gonna—"

"Fuck off Harrison you fucking twat!" Tom yelled at the top of his lungs, the blonde lad's boisterous and annoying laugh echoing soon after.

Tom turned crimson red as the embarrassment coated him from head to toe, head dropping for him to hide his face on the crook of your neck with a groan. You let out a soft giggle, hand landing on the back of his head as you ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly. Your face was warm as you were embarrassed just the same, although there was more of a sense of pride on your behalf because yes, Tom does get a bit loud sometimes, all courtesy to you.

It wasn't always of course, both of you aren't evil enough to torture the lads that much. Aside from the fact that Tom is rarely even home—meaning you don't do the deed that much in this house—the two of you had made a pact to make sure that you're completely alone before properly going at it. Admittedly, it does get a bit hard to keep the noise down sometimes, so the boys have to endure it every now and then. They do get back at you guys soon after as they are quick to be little shits with the teasing and dirty jokes, much like now.

"Maybe we do need to soundproof our walls," you teased once your man pulled away to look at you with a soft sigh, hands running up and down your waist sweetly.

"Or we could finally look for our own place to move in?" Tom proposed with a charming smile, your heart melting at the sight and skipping a beat at his words.

Granted, you've been with Tom for a fair three and a half years already, but neither of you had gone to take that step of actually living fully on your own where it's just no one but him and you in your own home. You've been living in this house for roughly the same time—maybe a year or two less—and you've got no problem living with the lads, you consider them as your brothers now. But you won't deny that having a place exclusively for you and Tom only would be pure bliss.

Of course you've talked about getting your own place and neither of you were opposed to it. It all just came down to Tom being constantly busy and barely even home. You'd rather live with the boys for the mean time than sulk all alone in a house while slowly being buried in the emotions of missing your boyfriend.

Tom also wanted to be there for the most of it—choosing and buying furniture, decorating a thing or two, moving, the likes—but with his schedule, it was hard to find the perfect time.

But now he's promised you that he'd slow down for a bit.

He genuinely hasn't done anything but work nonstop. It was just projects upon projects with only so little breaks in between, a month if he's lucky. Tom is one hardworking man, that's one of the many things you love about him, but he sometimes doesn't realize when he's pushing himself too far.

That's when you step in.

You'd encouraged him to take a breather, even if it's just for half a year or so but you never did pester him about it constantly as you weren't one to take him away from doing what he loves. Unless it gets way out of hand, then that's when you'll be putting your foot down. You know he'll do it whenever he's ready to slow down and now with most of his projects wrapped, he's finally decided that it was the right time to take that much needed break.

"I love the sound of that," you giggled, treading your fingers through his hair before tracing it down his chiseled jaw. "Not as much as I love the sound of you moaning though," you hummed teasingly.

"Well then, let's find our own place so you can hear me moan all for you and as loud as you want, darling," Tom purred lowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his darkened orbs bored into yours, his hands sliding down to rest on the swell of your bum. He fondled the flesh hotly as he started to lean closer to capture your lips. But before Tom could even do so a loud voice made you both jump away from each other.

"For fuck's sake guys! I'm still fucking here!" Harry yelled, throwing both his hands in the air in downright annoyance and disgust as he screwed his eyes shut. "Go to your fucking room for the love of my sanity!"

You didn't even get a chance to apologise to the young lad as Tom swiftly grabbed your hand and rushed to your shared bedroom.

Nothing happened though apart from a couple minutes of making out, Tom deciding not to take it further given that you were all tipsy and intoxicated. Him deciding since you were persistent on saying you were fine even though you were giggling nonstop, easily tickled no matter how feather-like his kisses were. Not to mention how you could barely even keep your eyes open. So, both of you ended up taking a warm bath and then a nap right after that, instead.

Although the minute you sobered up, Tom made sure you weren't at all quiet this time around. It was due to the pent up tension that's been building since that somewhat steamy Q&A. And maybe, just maybe to get back at the boys a teeny bit for being little shits with both the teasing jokes and the dirty questions.

The two of you went out of your bedroom only at dinner time, stepping foot in the dining area where Harry, Tuwaine and Harrison were all situated. You felt the embarrassment coat every inch of your body when you took sight of the boys, more specifically, their expressions. Tom, on the other hand, had the cockiest smirk playing on his lips as he held his head high, tauntingly chuckling at his mates.

The three lads were sitting around the table with nothing but grimaces and downright disgust on their faces as they all grumbled in unison,

"Rabbits."

-:-:-:-:-

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