#also the constant ‘we are a family’ thing is so tired especially when Cass isn’t included 🥴

[zuzuzuko]

Honestly zdarsky’s run just upsets me because I see glimpses of things that could be good if they were just done a bit differently

[vln-vibes]

Watchtower Woes

Week 1 Day 4 of Maribat March

Special thanks to @little-kitty-kanny , @ethelphantom and @the-navistar-carol  for beta-ing for me

It was a normal day at the Watchtower, well as normal as a space station for superheroes could be. The Watchtower looked down upon their home planet, making it seem so big yet so small amongst the sea of stars surrounding them. Today it was just Wonder Woman, Black Bat and Ladybug on monitor duty.

“Sister.” 

Ladybug, otherwise known as Marinette Drake nee Dupain-Cheng (the 23-year old designer behind the Lady Luck designs by MDC company), turned to see Wonder Woman looking at her with concern. She and Diana were rather close as the Amazonian princess had practically taken her as blood sisters when she learned of a new Ladybug; seeing as her mother had once worn the mantle as well.  Diana had also been her business partner when her company first began to take off.

“Are you feeling alright? You seem to be under the weather”

“She’s right,” Cassandra Cain-Wayne added in “Your center is off, you seem uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine. It's been a little stressful with the upcoming line with Wayne Enterprises,” Ladybug sighed, finding herself massaging her temple, feeling a headache already developing. “That and the team has been acting strange lately, I’ve been trying to investigate the cause, but the Miracle Book isn’t saying much, and I can’t exactly ask Master Fu anymore”

“How so, Ladybug?” Diana asked, taking a seat next to her while Cass took charge of looking through the security footage for them, still focused on the conversation.

“Well, most of them have gotten dangerously overprotective of me. Just yesterday Roi Singe took a hit for me against Hawkmoth 2.0’s latest creation. I asked him about it afterwards, and he just said that nothing could harm me? It was rather strange, especially seeing as Ryuuko and Abeille got more ruthless afterward. Chat was also hissing at people who approached me,” she explained with a troubled look.

“Even as civilians, Viperion, Monarch, and Paon were coddling me: Mari are you warm enough? Have you eaten today? No, Mari, let me get you a natural juice instead of coffee. It’s been so frustrating having to deal with their constant  babying.”

“It’s honorable for your team to care for your well being” Diana commented, heavens knew  how the JL got  whenever one of their members was  ill or was unable to perform their duties. Ladybug’s eyes just seemed to water at the implication, wiping the tears before they even fell.

“B-But that could just mean they don’t trust my abilities… what if they think I’m not worthy of being leader or even worse… of being Ladybug?” 

Diana did her best to console the younger woman while Cass looked at her skeptically.

She had seen the sudden change in emotion Ladybug had gone through like whiplash, from tired to content to worried to saddened. As Diana combed through Marinette’s pixie cut, Cass continued to think of the things happening these past few weeks.

Tim had once asked Barbara if there was anything that could help with back pains, stating that Marinette had been experiencing some rather hard period symptoms.

She recalled Adrien purring along with Alfred the Cat when they had gone to Wayne Manor last week along with Tim and Conner. Even Ace and Titus were acting like her personal bodyguards, not too different from normal, though Damian admitted that it was a bit more overkill.

Just last month for the Wayne Charity Gala, during the ladies’ final fitting, she had complained to Steph that her own dress felt a little tighter than she expected... though not unbearably so, so she had just decided to leave her own dress as is.

Had it really been so obvious?

She needed to recheck whether Tim deserved the title of Detective after this. Cass stepped out of the room momentarily to make what was potentially a life changing call.

“Robin and Superboy, do you read?” she knew her baby brother, almost eighteen years old, would be hanging out at the Titans Tower in the east coast with Superboy, now sixteen, but seeing as it was a quiet day and the other Titans: Green Lantern (Milagro Reyes), Nightstar (Mar’i Grayson), Scarlet Flash and Kid Speed (Dawn and Don Allen), and Speedy(Lian Harper) would be on standby.

“Is something the matter Black Bat?” Damian responded almost immediately.

All Bats were rather keen on making sure their comms were on in case of emergencies, even when silenced, they’d have the notifications on to see who was trying to contact them.

“Do you mind coming to the Watchtower with Superboy, there’s something concerning Ladybug𑁋”

“Is she alright?” she almost giggled at how concerned her brother was before keeping her cool and responding.

“I believe she’s alright but perhaps not aware of her condition”

“We’ll be there in a minute”

Not even a full minute after stepping back in with a much calmer Ladybug, did she hear the announcement of Robin and Superboy’s arrival before the two skid into the communications room with the three heroines.

“Robin and Superboy? I wasn’t aware you boys would be passing by today,” Diana asked curiously as Damian just puffed up.

“Black Bat called about checking Ladybug’s condition” he said eyeing the scarlet hero to see if anything was amiss; other than her red rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks he found nothing unusual.

“My condition? Cass what are you talking about?” Ladybug asked confused and a bit protective.

“Superboy,” Jon perked at his name before turning to Cass “Can you hear the heartbeats in this room?”

“Uh sure…” to say he was confused was an understatement. He was rather familiar with their heartbeats, having known them for years at this point. He could hear Diana and Damian’s rather war drum like beat, Cass’ steady and rhythmic beats, Marinette’s calm and slightly faster than usual heart and then there was𑁋

Wait, what?

“That’s weird” he whispered to himself before focusing again. Sure enough it was still there a soft echoe of duhn-duhn… duhn-dun as the fifth heartbeat. But he had never heard it before… and it was coming from…

Oh duh!

“Holy schmoly! Congrats Ladybug.” He flew up to her and gave her a huge hug, conscious of his strength now more than ever. Ladybug seemed confused while Cass smiled at her.

“You’re expecting!”

Suddenly everything made more sense, Marinette thought in that moment of realization, as she felt Diana give her her own congratulations along with Damian, who wished to both brag and inform the rest of the family.

This was really happening.

“Can— can we see Doctor Mid-Nite or Doctor Thompkins, please?” she heard herself whisper. The group looked at each other, Diana contacting the Watchtower’s doctor while Damian called for Tim and the rest of the Bat Family to come as soon as they could; was that overkill? Perhaps, but no one that was even associated with the Bats could be anything less than dramatic. Jon was the one who called Conner who called Adrien to go meet them at the Watchtower as well.

Half an hour passed and Ladybug found herself lying on one of the Med Bay beds with Doctor Thompkins, the woman having to be pulled until they mentioned Marinette requesting her assistance, making the last few configurations to the ultrasound machine.

“Are you ready, dear?” the kind doctor asked.

 Ladybug lifted her uniform, which she learned she could do at that moment, nearly squirming at the cold gel spreading at her softening abdomen.

“As ready as I’ll ever be” she laughed nervously before taking a deep breath. She couldn’t help but close her eyes, unsure if she wanted it to be true or not, before hearing the curtain open. Tim looked disheveled, most likely having come out of a W.E business meeting he had mentioned yesterday evening.

“Mari, what’s wrong!?”

Duhn-duhn…. Duhn-duhn… duhn-duhn

Marinette had never heard such a life-altering sound, feeling the tears swell in her eyes as her husband looked dumbfounded.

“Is— is that?” Marinette could only nod before being enveloped in a hug by him. He whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to her as the beautiful sound echoed in their heads.

“God, we’re going to be parents, sunshine”

“So it would seem, moonlight”

“M’Lady what’s—!” Chat Noir had sprinted from the zeta entrance having heard the far too soft heartbeat coming from the monitor, the Bats not far behind him. Suffice to say that the Watchtowers usual quiet was interrupted for the rest of that evening as cheers and congratulations went around the Med-Bay.

They would later learn that she had been nearly three months pregnant by the time they found out, explaining her team’s odd behavior due to the animal characteristics of the Miraculous. However, the worst news was to come a week later on one faithful morning.

“Oh kwami, get that away from me!” Marinette exclaimed as soon as she came out of their room in their studio apartment in Gotham. The scarlet hero having to rely on Pegasus for travel to and from Paris for the time being. Not that her team even wanted her on the field in the first place at the time but she was anything if not stubborn, a necessity for the Wayne family.

That was how the coffee obsessed duo discovered that Marinette and baby were disgusted by the mere smell of coffee. Truly, it was the hardest part of the pregnancy.

Six months later, when Thomas Louis Drake-D.C was born, his aunts and uncle would continuously call him the ‘Second Coming of Christ’ for doing the impossible and getting his parents to cut off their caffeine addiction, much to their annoyance. 

For now they were just a family of three, looking at the infinite stars of their baby’s eyes.

My AO3

Ko-Fi

[liveshaunted-moved]

headcanon dump; varian

In canon verses, Varian never takes any training, therefore all the things he learns is through doing, and reading himself. In Modern verses, when Varian is tasked with Homework, it is generally done when he gets home. He does it first, so he can spend more time on doing the things he loves and researching things he likes over things he has too do.

Doing his homework is a tiring task asked of him, he actually hates it which is also why he would do it first, to get the things he doesn’t like out of the way to leave room for the things he does enjoy.

you know that mocking thing people do when someone they don’t like is talking, when their back is turned? yeah, varian does that when king fredrick talks, quirin has caught this and chide him, but varian has caught him giving the biggest eye rolls ever when the king isn’t looking

Sleep? Him and sleep didn’t get on for a good four to seven years from the moment he saw his father encased in the amber. There were constant nightmares, and he would force himself to stay awake. Other times, he just wouldn’t sleep because he was too focused on his works and couldn’t stop, because he had to finish it. He has been forced to go to sleep by those around him.

despite varian feeling hurt, or like there was some wrong sense of justice when concerning cass’ punishment compared to his, he doesn’t HATE cass or rapunzel. he can’t bring himself to hate them, because at different times they both have helped him. he just needs to work through his feelings, and talk about how the events make him feel instead of bottling it up like last time

varian, concerning his feelings about the whole cass seemingly getting away with her crimes deal, as well as specifically with cass the whole kidnapping ( and others ) thing. he will talk about those feelings first with any of these ; quirin, lance or eugene, before talking about it with rapunzel and cass, just so he doesn’t make them feel bad for his feelings bc yes he still loves and cares for them, they’re like his family even if they’ve had rough patches, he doesn’t want them to feel bad for what he is feeling, even if what he’s feeling is valid.

varian is a quick learner, when it comes to skills. and he can actually pick things up quickly, especially if he enjoys the task / activity

varian masters his potion to enlarge ruddiger to make it more safe for ruddiger

varian also learns about the things fredrick does and redirects his blame ( bc that doesn’t just go away, even if he felt guilty for what he did - he still has the right to feel HURT by rapunzels actions in the show ). but, upon learning that the king is the reason for the rocks in the first place, how the king made his father feel like he won’t listen to reason so therefore making his father lie to try and fix what he could - varian realises the problem is with the king and the system the king has put in place. and because of this, he won’t listen to orders from the king at all even as the ‘royal engineer’, NOR will he listen to nigel.

quirin’s wife, and varian’s mother actually left them when varian turned five / when the blue streak in his hair developed. quirin was open about what had happened in the dark kingdom, and that he feared the streak was something like the lost princess’ hair, his wife couldn’t take it - so left them, under the rouse of ‘going to get some food’ from the town.

varian can lie quite well, he just can’t if he’s put right on the spot or even feels slightly confronted with one of his lies. he does manage to trick rapunzel, all while lying because he doesn’t beleive that raps ‘did what she had too’ at that point in time ( later will truly believe it )

i feel like, it wasn’t just the ‘three interactions’ before varian turned, it was small interactions that garnered a friendship. it was small, ‘hi’s and hello’s’ and a few bigger talks, especially after raps & cass find out about varian knowing about the rocks. it wasn’t a huge friendship in the eye of let’s say the fandom or even maybe cass or raps eyes, but varian it was different, he saw their friendship as a lot because they were the only ones to be his friends ( which aids in varian’s hero worship crush on cass ).

his friendship with eugene and lance doesn’t grow or strengthen until the third season, bc eugene is shown to be sceptical of varian in the first season which is valid because varian’s inventions have been not so safe.

i’ll expand a little on why i said eugene would be someone varian going to about his feelings regarding rapunzel and cass, despite him being close with the two. from this post here

and it is to do with his trust. eugene didn’t have to speak to varian alone about his worries about quirin potentially being a cass minion ( that’s what i’m calling it now ), eugene could have called it out in front of everyone, could have said something while everyone was around, but instead he waited for when he and varian were alone and that made varian feel like, even though he was kind of mad at eugene for it ( bc who wouldn’t ) but he takes it into consideration, because it made him feel like on some level eugene cared about his feelings enough to do it one on one.

and i feel like, over the course of season 3, they developed a friendship which he doesn’t have much of, and he holds it in high regards.

reminder that varian does hold a bitterness towards rapunzel and cass after the events that transpired in the last ep but unlike in season one, he’s grown and is learning to speak about how he feels about it. so he could be a little guarded around these two, and even the king and queen themselves.

he might confinde in his father, eugene, lance, angry or cat first about these feelings because he knows what bottling it up and trying to sort it out himself is like… it doesn’t work out well for him

varian isn’t afraid of heights, not even after cass encased him in a cage at well over 70ft in the air, and then falling from that height. heights do not scare him. but thin ledges? yeah, fuck those, he won’t do that.

varian has a scar on the back of his head from when he injured it in what the hair 

while varian is does everything he can to prove his worth again, to prove he is trust worthy once again to rapunzel, it’s not just that way. much like she doesn’t automatically forgive him, he doesn’t automatically forgive her. it’s a two way street, their whole relationship after the opening of season 3 is the both of them rebuilding their trust and faith in each other

varian hold just a bit of bitterness towards cass / raps? yes, but he has controlled it and doesn’t let it fester. he’s learnt to control it because what it happened last time, he doesn’t want to let himself get that far.

this steams from rapunzel’s actions towards cass vs her actions towards him. he see’s that, from his point of view as different. that cass was forgiven much easier then he was, she didn’t have to do anything to gain the trust back of rapuzel, whereas he felt that he had too ( because in his eyes, when he ‘switched sides back to her’ that was when she forgave him because he had no signs of her doing so before hand ).

also does he feel guilty for feeling like this? you bet

while wearing gloves is a way to mimic his father, and to ‘be more like’ his father, it’s also a sensory sensitivity for varian. he has multiple pairs of gloves because a lot of the time they can burn up or get badly damaged. all his gloves are leather, any other material itches or just doesn’t feel right on his hands and at times, if wearing other material can get him frustrated with them, and then substantially at his work.

while varian does get back on everyone’s good side again, he still hates the king, because he heard the promise of trying to free his ( varian’s ) father, but when he broke out - he automatically went back to his own home, only to find it dusted over - like no one has been there in months - meaning no one has tried to free his father.

varian copies those he looks up too. a few examples are; constantly wearing gloves, his father does that ( we the viewer know it’s to cover his brotherhood mark ), and then, varian does too, to be more like his dad.

he has copied nicknames for people from eugene. example, eugene has called xavier ‘xaves’ and then later on, varian is seen saying that too

varian constantly wears gloves to be like his father, he noticed at a young age, that his father constantly wore gloves - and, so he too then wore gloves all the time.

varian’s ‘crush’ on cass, was more hero worship type crush, then a true crush.

varian get’s one last growth spurt before he turns eighteen, it wasn’t magic or alchemy, though he totally got accused of it, but it seemingly happened over night ( it happened over a period of time where he secluded himself as he worked on something ). he ends up between the height of rapunzel and eugene

Varian eventually learns that magic and science go hand in hand, that magic is itself a form of science itself, and that science is a form of magic. That it’s just a matter if perspective

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

cass won't share her cheese nibs and bruce doesn't love me and i think?? that i deserve better??? than this???? i'm moving to alaska where NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

the sequel to that one trix yogurt fic

I feel like I should tell you that I am MASSIVELY fucked up right now 

 like i am such a garbage heap that oscar the grouch took a look at me and said 

 “fuckk off!! i have standards!” 

anyways

it’s Brimothy, bitch

what is UP mothertrucksrs it is Me i am back here to write a report on the UNBELIEVABLE SHIT I JUST HANDLED.

okay so u know how Gotham city is on crack cocaine all the time. with like some LSD and heroin and never ever any weed except for like who is that pig guy?? nevrm he doesn’t have weeeed but like he is definitely a Pig. what the fuck is his name. what the fuck.

 okay so anyways 

 is it Goyle

 Doyle

 Pigoyle 

 tin foil? lmao

OKAY FUCK anyways the City, who Also May Be My Lover, is in a constant life crisis (which i relate? a Lot) and do you want to know this s h i t

Crocodile

Killer Croc

who Steve Irwin would be v disappointed in

Is climbing

into people’s FUCKING TOILETS

???????????????

THIS ISN’T FLORIDA

THIS IS NEW JERSEY

WE WEAR SHOES IN THE WINTER

WHAT SORT OF FLIP-FLOP WEARING CUCKER DOES HE THINK HE IS

okay so obviously KC is a big guy. a Dude. a whack-o whaler of a Male. a Big Boh. the largest banananana in the pack. he is Big. so he cAn’t fit into most people’s toilets. he can, however, fit into Big People’s toilets (big as in wealthy, not As in Tom Hanks)

so KC (crispy,,,nuggest…i wonder if fried alligator is good—not that im thinking of eating him, though someone really should threaten him with cannibalism, like if you’re going to be a bitch about it then you deserve the same done to you, it’s just manners) is in cahoots and canoodles with Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (not bc i don’t know, I do, that’s how detectives work. it’s my JOB to know, and i was a prodigy) but bc there is a whole other report detailing this person and their movements and its case file #4461 if u don’t believe me, but i ain’t no snitch, but i will say that tonight’s events connect to file #4461 so Dad if you’re reading this you should already have it out bc it’s your JOB

speaking of jobs ding ding here is mine coming round the mountain as she comes bc the apple bottom jeans the boots with the fur will be coming round the mountain when she comes shE’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll b e coming round and getting low low low low low l ow low

It was a crisp October night. The sun was blinking its sleepy lids, setting the ballroom with an incandescent glow. Bruce Wayne strode across the floor, his daughter Cassandra accompanying him. They wore matching expressions that the privileged always wear: guarded, yet hungry. Hungry for what? Probably for the crab cakes just out of reach. Neither of them had an allergy, and Cassandra in particular had a propensity to shove anything edible in her mouth, so it really was a tragedy that those crab cakes were all the way across the room. There should really be a table right in the middle of the dance floor just for snacks. That way caterers wouldn’t have to do so much leg work, which is actually a good thing, because that ballroom floor is slippery af. This narrator should know, he has Died A Few Times getting there. Suddenly, the night’s festivities were interrupted by a social faux pas: a scream.

You don’t just scream at regular parties, it’s uncouth and hysterical. But you can scream if the social boundaries have already been crossed, and boy, were they crossed.

You see, Dear Reader, there was a man in the toilet.

I use the term “man” loosely, as his glaring yellow eyes do wonders when you might just crap your pantaloons. You start imagining things, like dinosaurs whcih i am personally a big fan of bc Jurassic Park has a kid named Tim in it and I am also Tim.

 hI y is our toilet so big that Killer Croc could wiggle his way up? also how long can he hold his breath. 

 it seems to be impressively long

 hey Bdad how long can he hold his breath? please let me know if you can, and if you won’t i will eat all your wafers becauzs i wa

Mrs. Trenton screamed and fled the impertinent bathroom guest, who wasted no time in ripping the commode to pieces. There was a roar and all the guests paused, unsure if it was merely pipe problems or if they were under attack.

Reader: They were, in fact, under attack. 

The guests, deciding that Mrs. Trenton was a social entrepreneur, followed her lead and began to scream. Killer Croc had made it to ballroom, standing at an impressive height just outside the doors.

He was Not wearing a shirt.

okay have u ever noticed that Killer Crog hasn’t got any nipples????? where are they? he’s got pecs but no nipples?? 

where did they go where are his nip nops i kno people don’t like to think about this but i hAve wondered since i was like 13 like where did they go. has anyone ever asked him. 

did they fall off

“Take the crab cakes!” shouted Matthew Fielder, a lil bitch.

“No, take me!” said Cassandra Wayne, who would literally rather die than give up those crab cakes.

Killer Croc paid them no heed. He desired one thing and one thing only, the sweet satisfaction for his carnal craving: Humain Flesh.

(alliteration hell yeah hell yeah take that Mrs. Johnson i do know shit and im creative as well u jusy don’t know how my brian works it’s like a golden goose egg trap ye ye ye)

 i just Realized 

 i am…a high school drop out

 i don’t know why im doing this

Dear Reader, as an Aside: Smoking can lead to many health issues, especially if one begins smoking at a young age. Harmful side effects include increased risk of stroke and brain damage; muscular degeneration, eye cataracts; cancer of lips, nose, tongue, and mouth, and nipple loss.

 Jason you may want to have a talk with you and your mipples

The terror in the air was stifling. Cannibalism conduct was not something conveyed in etiquette classes. Rich people never expect to be eaten.

Reader, everyone hardly breathed. Something deeply primal had occurred. 

From the doorway the golden eyes struck. Deadly. Lethal. Hungry. 

This was more than vengeance. It was a sadistic occasion of play.

  okay good thing Dames wasn’t there because he fucking HATES KC he gets all huffy and shrieky about him like “he’s a HYGIENE PROBLEM” and it’s like,,,,,.ur right but i don’t want to agree with you because where do we stand if i do that?? as brothers???

 i think the fuck not 

anyways i just realized i’ve been calling Waylon Jones KC the entire damn time (NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE) but to be fucking h, he wants to to be called that. i called him Allen once and he was so PISSED so i can only think of actually calling him by his name. he wouldn’t even be chill with me naming the sewer alligators even tho they were awesome names. i called one Dundee. that’s fucking genius. that’s just. i’m fucking amazing. stupenous. and unappreciated.

 maybe his nipples fell off because he swims in shit every night?????

 question: why do i swim in shit almost as often 

 what the dfck

 what are my life choices

 i feel like there should have been some fine print involved here 

 “Robin duties include scraping shit off your asschreks 3 times a week”

 mahbe,,,,maybe not what i want 

 personal choice

though i haven’t really seen any alligators in the sewers for years now, which is

oh my god OH MY GOD HE ATE THEM  HE ATE THEM OH MY GOD  OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING  HE FUCKING. HE. HE ATE HIMSELF  HE FUCNING ATE HIMAELF AND HIS FAMILY HIS COUSINS HIS CPOUSINS  HIS FAMILY OH MY GOD  THIS IS LIKE MY 8TH GRADE GRADUATION ALL OVER AGAIN

im so disturbed……..i like, need to eat something. Fucking hell. this Not what i had in mind when i decided to be alive.

i feel like as if i woke up one day and i was the only one in the entire world who remembered Caillou. also could pull off my face and eat it like taffy. imw so. i.

mom i know i refused to go to Shabbat when i was ten so i don’t get to say this but:

this is Not kosher 

oh heyy i want some pIckes

i was also thinking of takin a spin class?? like fuck it i like to bike. fuck it. and maybe iwdont want bruce and nigtwink fucking watxhing me with their beady eyes. like get those off my calves. my cleavage is up here, gentlemen. stop talking about proper form. some people can do things and suck at them. i’m never going to be like a professional ice curler. and i shouldn’t feel bad about that. who the fuck curls for fun. maybe Canada???????

note to self: look up the history of the sport of curling 

i’m going to get good at it to piss off Jason

Back On Topic:

Killer Croc took a step forward. His mouth trembled, watering in anticipation. He took another step.

Mrs. Trenton drew in a breath. 

The room was silent. 

Far across the room, Bruce Wayne clenched his champagne glass. Cassandra Wayne stopped chewing the crab cakes.  Reader, I won’t mince words: Waylon Jones crossed the threshold.

  and the instant he put his foot down on the ballroom floor he fucking slipped like a drunkass toddler

like when Damian is really really tired bc he’s like 2 years old (only an evil 2 years old like chucky) and Jason tries to give him a high five 

gremlin still doesn’t get that “down low” precedes “too slow” 

and he like. faceplants

onto the fucking concrete 

and then Bruce yells at Jason 

and then Jason yells back

“I NEVER ASKED FOR SIBLINGS”

like it was something we all did, like wrote it down on our batmas lists for Brucie Claus 

and im sitting there, a perennial Forgotten Middle Child

and Damian is like still. on the ground.

anyways KC is just slipping across the ballroom, slippering and sliding bc the floor was just waxed and it’s silent except for the wet slaps of his feet against the floor and the screech his tail makes every time he trips (sort of like this) and when he sometimes falls it makes that sound of when your thighs SLAP against the mats and it sounds like a wet walrus coming to cheer you on while a Giant simultaneously swallows a liquid-filled gummy worm down his throat like QAWAGGHHHHHHH only his falls reverberated against the ceiling panels and the cherubs looked down in like. disgust.

Cass began chewing the crab cakes again by the time Killer Croc fell for the twelfth time so idk it was an embarrassing situation

 we all did that Thing people do when a social barrier is breached 

 we like…..avoided each other’s eyes and made light conversation 

 meanwhile Killer Croc’s body screeched in the background

anyways Matthew Fielder was like “so I hear you dance ballet” and Cass responded “uh huh. tap too” and the chewed up crab cake crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the floor

 i CAN’T

scrambled cock on a cracker, Cass why does Alfred let this happen????? what is this??????  like she can snort creme puffs like cocaine but GOD FORBID i put my elbows on the table and call damian “a poisonous little bitch” because he ate my croutons

 the standards in this family are unbelievable

So everyone is just talking and Mrs. Trenton is sipping champagne now and Luis Alvarez is doing that thing where he starts trying to eat caviar one teeny tiny egg at a time and KC is just like WHUMPH for the thirtieth time

finally dad takes pity on him and crouches down and is like “hey how you doing slugger” which???? Offended me. Very Much.

that’s MY nickname 

has Waylon No-Nipples Jones been adopted by Bruce Wayne??? has Waylon No-Nipples Jones retrieved HIS sorry ass from time?? i don’t fucking think so 

the audacity of this man

but before Killer Croc can reply

Red Hood

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM

guns out, voice modulator kind of fuzzy like a broke refrigerator that makes an “eeeeeeeeeee” sound ever since i tripped over it and fell on it

 which wASN’T MY FAULT 

 IM NOT “deformed baby zebra clumsy” FUCK YOU JASON 

 MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T KEEP HIS EXPENSIVE HELMET ON THE FLOOR THEN 

 you know what? I’m GLAD i tripped over it.

 yeah. suck it. 

 im glad you sound like a 90s japanese transistor radio 

 off brand too

 fuck you 

 I GOT A BRUISE NOT THAT ANYONE CARES 

 even Bruce was like “hey tim you need to watch where you’re going”

 ???

 how about YOU watch where YOU’RE GOING 

 “where” as in TIME TRAVEL 

 REMEMBER THAT BRUCE 

 REMEMBER THAT?!???????

 HUH BIG GUY?!???????!!???

 no one is allowed to criticize me from now on

 i am Above Reproach 

    anyways yeah Red Hood appears at the party and shoots KC and Bruce was like “why the FUCK would you SHOOT HIM” as if he has some misplaced paternal feeling for Waylon No-Nipples Jones because he called him slugger which is something he calls one of his other kids but whatever im not bitter im just insecure and sad all the time but don’t worry about it maybe i’ll die one day and you’ll all be sorry especially about Certain Things like not sharing cheese nibs huh Cassandra

so RH and Bruce Wayne kind of argue. like. literally sniping at each other bc SOMEBODY forgot that Red Hood is a criminal and not their misplaced son and RH is like “it’s!!!!! a tranquilizer!!!!! ya big hoe!!!!!” only he doesn’t really say it like that but everyone isn’t even listening at this point because this party has already been so goddamn weird and we’re all suffering from secondhand embarrassment

i am Assuming,,,,,that Killer Croc Jones “Jonsie No-Nipples” has been taken away to be put into jail and studied for his non-nipple properties but at this point i’ve been sitting here huffing that cold medicine or whatever Bruce gave me. which

 oh yeah i was crushed earlier 

 it was by “slugger” but whatever

 yeah his body broke mine 

 it was because Bruce and Jason were fighting again and not paying attention so 

 KC was tranquillized and like 

 fell on me 

 he drooled on me too 

 those ballroom floors really hurt 

 like my head feels like mush 

 Alfred’s oatmeal 

 on its second day 

 because i refused to eat it on the first day 

 that man has a spine of Steel and he Does Not Let You Waste Food 

 btw he fell on me because i pushed Luis Alvarez out of the way 

 he was really transfixed by those tiny fish eggs 

 it’s fun to put them on your tongue and let them like slide around 

 so i pushed him out of the way and was promptly crushed to death 

 B said something about a broken collarbone 

 i am more worried about a broken butt 

 fuck

 my coccyx

PROFESSOR PYM wait no shit that’s a comic book character

anyways my butt is broken and im hungry and dad wouldn’t let me get out of the chair so i write up this report because I am A Real Life Detective and I do my JOB

once again im the best

hey red jood can you get me some cheese nibs cassandrA won’t share which is p mean especially since i was all for being eaten to give her those crab cakes  red hoof red  why isn’t he responding to me i want xheese nibs red hanz  red  red  Red Hood please I require sustenance  red fhau red gjji red hhood ted joood redb hood red red edds red red edd dedd red red red red red wd red  what the fuck what a right bastard sometimes oh hi Badaman

EDIT: His name is “Pyg.”  Fucking. Pyg. Points taken off for unoriginality.

decided to have a tumblr version too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 12):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

12:3 The Foundry - Mylings! Nuff said. And I knew it as soon as I heard the baby cry. And that makes me feel good about me.

12:4 American Nightmare - Stigmata. Dean dressed as a priest getting stuck looking at a boy lighting a candle in the church. Mr Mess: ”Dean! Time and place!” Sam wasting his sensemaking on a relentlessly angry Dean as usual, but then laying the hard truth on the crazy lady - is it hot in here?

12:5 The One You’ve Been Waiting For - Nazi dirtbags! Referencing one of the great episodes of season 8 too. Good. Good. And Allison Paige is friggin’ beautiful! Nauhaus is such a spoofy villain I think this is a comedy. ”Do you know what it’s like to have en nazi necromancer as a father?” ”He had a guy named Fritz try to kill me!” GOLD.

12:6 Celebrating the life of Asa Fox - badass-intro. And Jody. Hunter community! Canadian hunter community! Here for it. Bucky, or as I like to call him: demon nr 5 from early season.... single digits.

12:7 Rock never dies - Loving this glam-metal thing. Crowley in LA. And omg! Cass being snarky with Dean of all people. ”Atleast I don’t look like a lumberjack.” I laughed. And Mr Mess pointed out that Cass is tired, that that’s why he snapped, and it dawned on me that Cass is *choosing* to be kind under normal circumstances. My heart! ”I work for sexists, rasists, even politicians.” Lol. Loving the group dynamic of the four. But I’m a bit disappointed that Lucifer can’t chill, he could have had so much fun.

12:11 Regarding Dean - A goofy Dean episode. That’s rarely bad news. I like Rowena in this, she’s rly growing on me.

12:15 Somewhere between heaven and hell - Honesty’s the best policy, signed, Dean. Hear, hear! ”So, ten years ago did you rly want something? Like, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?” Lol! Dean and Crowley and Lucifer breaking free! Dean is a hoot this episode. Sam, killing the hellhound like a pro, and thanking Crowley. And Crowley kicking Lucifer’s ass. That’s the stuff. And Sam being honest with Dean and Dean being all reasonable about it! Loving it!

12:16 Ladies drink free - Claire! Nuff said. Loving everyone this episode, except Mick of course, but my homicidal thoughts at the sight of his beard have lessened. ”The experiment was on mice.” Werewolf-mice! XD

12:17 The british invasion - Eileen! God this show needs more women, the brothers are so much better dealing w them, which I guess is a problem on its own. ”Make your voice a mail.” Oh Cass. Eileen and Sam! My heart! Am I shipping this? God I hope not, it’ll mean instant death. God, Mick is an idiot, I mean, I’m obv digging his change of heart, but apparently he hasn’t learned a thing in the entire life he’s worked for his fucky organization.

12:18 The memory remains - Goodness. Loving this intro. Taxidermist sheriff. Man, sometimes I feel these quirky characters are wasted on the just-passing-through format. ”Hunting people! Killing them! The family business!” Lol.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

12:1 Keep Calm and Carry on - ”You’re bad at your job.” Sure, she has a point, but as generous as this british chick’s offer is, her pitch is somewhat lacking. A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up on the fail list. Also ”break his mind”? That’s what it’s like inside Sam’s head *all* the time.

12:2 Mamma Mia - A sexscene featuring Dean Forrester is the second quickest way to wind up on the fail list. You say his name is Sam Winchester? Nah. Nope. Not buying it. Listen, I know I talk a tall game about being a big Sam-fan, I just don’t ship him with a.n.y.o.n.e. So what the sexscene isn’t real!? I still had to see it with my own orbs of sight. ”Your job was to find american hunters and gain their trust.” I’m howling! Maybe *you’re* rly bad at your job, lady!

12:10 Lily Sunder has some regrets - uhm... using demon number 5 to play other randos throughout a 15 season show I’ll forgive them for but you can’t use the same distinct actor (Ian Tracey) to play two distinctly different characters (Lee/Ishim) and not acknowledge it, especially when they could easily explain it as Lee’s body being possessed by Ishim. It ruins the whole episode for me. Also, I’m rooting for the ”bad” guy.

12:14 The raid - The british men of letters are the worst, they are worthless recruiting agents, salesmen and got crappy intel; where the Winchesters go the rest of the american hunters will follow? Pretty sure the opposite is true: ”Oh shit, the Winchesters are joining ’em? Better stay as far away from that shit as possible!” Also Mary’s being more than a little silly and I’m surprised Sam didn’t give her some speech about how he used to aim for big things like killing the devil, closing the gates of hell, before learning to settle for more realistic goals, like, staying alive, keepin your brother alive, savoring the occasional win, y’know, for the sake of your mental health. Anyhoo; Sam’s reaction on finding out Mary gave the Colt to the british men of letters might have been enough put it on the fave list but there are just so many icky characters and so many shots of Mick’s ugly beard I can’t let it slide. Plus Sam winds up joining these assholes. Boooohhhh!

12:20 Twigs & twine & Tasha Banes - Jeez. Petition to have Dean always justify his icky feelings about something w the Star Wars classic ”i got a bad feeling about this.” It would save time and my sanity. Also I have issues w Mary not being reasonable and understanding the basics about the life she and the boys are leading - you’re in or out, but there’s no finishing it w/o finishing yourself. Is this season’s big bad trying to annoy me to death? And the other hunters? What is it with this show and any other fun or awesome characters? Sorry, can’t keep ’em on, it’s a density-thing.

12:21 There’s something about Mary - Booohh! First Eileen, my bae (did I call it or did I call it?) and then the entire episode is full of The Big Annoying. First episode I didn’t bother finishing. Screw this season.

12:23 All along the watchtower - honestly I don’t get the constant jokes about IKEAs manuals, they’re all pictures, you don’t even need to be able to read to read them. Crowley <3 Plz spare me this show’s take on child birth, really just any show, (how is it possible that it’s so frickin’ hard to get right??), but especially this show’s. And Crowley. And Cass. And Mary. Such an intense bummer.

Honorable mentions:

Crowley blowing up Rowena’s scammer! And Rowena’s reaction! ”That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me!” Covered in blood. Priceless.

Cass and his sass is on this season. He’s so done w everyone. The exasperation!

The hug at the end of 12:22.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean and Sam making a deal to get out of jail, kinda unepic w a predictable outcome.

Mediocre mentions:

The entire episode Stuck in the middle (with you) - It’s a Reservoir Dogs reference right? And it works very well until you realize that, then you just start missing Tarantino’s poignant dialogue about tipping (not fucking!) your waitress. The return of the yelloweyed bloodline. Bound to happen with Mary back. Don’t care about that but I do care about Crowley being back and being awesome. The Dukes of Haphazard. That’s good, I’ve just been referring to them as the Two Stooges.

The episode Who we are - There are separate aspects of this I like: Dean and Sam blasting their way out of the bunker, Jody and Alex, Dean dreamwalking Mary back home. Ackles is a genius with this sort of thing. But it’s just so silly: The british men of letters are just so unepic, it ruins everything, wraps it in a mediocre blanket: They’re bad at their job, have inexplicable motivations, are such annoying stereotypes the only way this would be a win would’ve been if Sam’s speech went something along the lines of ”I’ve had this fly buzzin’ around my ear all year, I could use your help squashing it.” But at least, then they do.

Summing up:

I’m rly enjoying the warped relationships early in the season. Crowley and Cass. Rowena and Lucifer, Rowena and Crowley. Sam, Dean and Mary. But my usual creed about the gooey middles of seasons doesn’t hold true this time and I rly feel like it gets good only when it’s almost over. And honestly on whole the season is the worst so far. The british men of letters are so annoying and they’re everywhere, tainting everything. Ugh.

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 8.8.2017

Okay quite a huge week for my pull list, though with a few sad farewells as a result of that. Will everything pass the muster? Or have we got some duds in waiting? 

Just kidding everything’s wonderful and I’m going to explain why that is.

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine, DC’s Detective Comics, DC’s Gotham Academy: Second Semester, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, Dark Horse’s The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars, Marvel’s Silk, DC’s Titans, IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine (2015-present) #23 Tom Taylor, Leonard Kirk, Michael Garland, Erick Arciniega

Probably my favorite Marvel book coming out right now is All-New Wolverine and I think nothing has helped my appreciation for Tom Taylor as a writer grow than this book. It’s everything I’ve always wanted for Laura and more, but I won’t waste time. Let’s just dig into the specifics~

Story: We’re in the midst of an arc that’s meant to completely avoid the stink of Secret Empire but also probably will limit exposure to Laura that will be given to the stupid asshole male Wolverine they replaced her with on the main team I meant that is meant to bring us into Laura and Gabby’s first big space opera adventure, which is a proud tradition for all Marvel A-listers, and especially familiar to the X-Men. But Laura’s not with the X-Men on this trip because a forced romance with Warren isn’t being shoved in our faces. She’s here with the Guardians of the Galaxy who are enjoying their rise in Marvel prominence quite a bit, I believe.

In any case, the Brood have kidnapped Gabby and this is pissing both of them off immensely because Laura’s protective of Gabby and Gabby’s protective of Jonathan their pet Wolverine, and everybody is trying to get in the way of the Wolverine ladies living a happy life that they deserve. 

Now I don’t often give summaries but it’s difficult to really parse what this story gets right and why even as the crotchety woman that I am who usually doesn’t care for superheroes in space, I am enjoying the aliens and the epic giant crossover and the cast of thousands. And that’s because this story and this comic series is about Laura and Gabby. It’s about the sisterhood, the mother-daughter relationship, the friendship, and the just general goodness that they’ve provided for each other throughout the past 23 issues that makes all the dressing not matter nearly as much as the moments where Laura declares her commitment to getting Gabby back or Gabby’s stern rebuttal to the idea that any outcome would be possible besides Laura coming for her. That faith and trust has been earned for over 20 issues and it’s the thing that really makes this comic stand out from the majority of the comics I’m going over this week. 

This is a comic that has always been about these two characters and the loving bond that they share for one another. And it is exactly why it works to the point that I can give a hilariously complex summary like the one above without it making a real difference, and it’s why the final page is so gut wrenching for a cliffhanger.

Art: Leonard Kirk, I believe, has done the majority of the artwork for this series so far, and I really appreciate the look he gives to the title and specifically to Laura. She’s treated with every ounce of power and intimidation that you expect of Wolverine and the sexy costumes or posing are brought down to a severe minimum. Really, his designs for everyone are great and service the action of the story well because with so many aliens and sceneries to be had, the precise and direct approach makes the comic easy to follow. And I like that it manages all that without sacrificing action scenes or Kirk’s own style. 

It’s solid comic art through and through.

Characters & Dialogue: For the most part I’ve said everything that needs to be said in the story bit, but I need to again give accolades to Taylor here because of the subtle character growth he’s allowed for in the way Laura and Gabby’s world views are evolving. 

The dialogue for the two of them is very specific to their characters, but now we’re starting to see the way that they talk is having an effect on the other. Laura has become more artfully expressive about her feelings and love of others, especially Gabby, which is a change that took a long time for her and also is something her father never quite learned as well. We are a long ways away from the Laura who was ready to give Gabby up to the Jean Grey school and not look back. Likewise, Gabby has become more stern, more encouraged. She relies on Laura and believes in her so much that she doesn’t fear, another far cry away from the Gabby who was abused and misused by the lab that created her. 

Basically the characterization isn’t just good, it’s subtle and full of depth beyond what people would be expecting from a giant space opera adventure trying to avoid a storyline centered around Captain Fascism. 

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #962 James Tynion IV, Alvaro Martinez, Raul Fernandez, Brad Anderson

So, I think my Roundups are a pretty fair record for how tumultuous my relationship has been over time with Detective Comics. It’s a comic and characters I love fiercely but it’s also often subject to fair criticism of being fairly unpolished, rushed, and just generally misses a mark from time to time that’s just difficult to overcome.

A mixed bag if you will. 

And we’re coming to the close on this particular storyline “Intelligence” and I think it’s as good of a place as any to really get into the nitty gritty of what the pros and cons of this Detective Comics run is.

Story: I only recently have begun reading Jean Paul’s original solo series Azrael thanks to DC’s new campaign to volumize old comics and it’s been a surprising read. But I’ve always been familiar enough with him as a character to be fairly curious about what more stories centered around him -- and not Azabats him but him him -- would be like. And I’ve stated before that I enjoy seeing the development of his friendship with Luke and would love to see it feature more prominently. 

And in all those respects, I feel like this conclusion and really this whole storyline paid very good tribute to Azrael and Jean Paul in ways that even contemporaries of Denny O’Neil tended to miss the mark on. The complexity of his relationship with religion while also dealing with the additional stress and pressure that has placed on him with his abusive past, the allusions to mental illness which serve throughout his stories. And really just Jean Paul getting a chance to be a character in a way he certainly wasn’t in his re-introduction through Batman and Robin Eternal worked out very well with me. And I’m grateful that his injury in this battle and his paralysis are not going to be immediately erased while they do acknowledge that in this universe that’s a possibility.

I don’t really like the state reasoning for the decision or the near certainty that his disability will eventually be “overcome” but it’s better than the nothing that DC has basically given us in the way of the major titles for a while now.

Plus, consequences! It’s nice to have consequences that matter.

The magic part... well I enjoy Zatanna as a character to an extreme degree so my ability to be completely unbiased here was always going to be difficult. But this is one story where the magical elements being blended in with the spiritual.. I’m not really sure if it worked for me. It’s nice to see Zee, but in an ensemble book I’m getting a little tired of all the excuses being fit into the narrative to excuse not ever actually being about the ensemble.

oh look tim’s alive and ra’s al ghul’s behind it all who saw this coming

At least we don’t have another new made up organization that secretly spans across the whole world and Batman didn’t know about it ever. At least they’re finally converging a bit because that shit was getting ridic.

Art: Of the rotating art teams that we have for Detective, I have to say that this is one of the best and most consistent. There’s a good variation between splash pages and regular paneled format, there’s a proper use of shifting and varying panel differing. And overall it’s just a pleasing comic to read with easy action to follow and a great use of color and inking despite being a literally dark comic.

It is not the most stylized comic for those who prefer styles that are Out of House as opposed to the Big Two’s normal aesthetic, but it is a good comic and easy to read without being redundant. 

Characters & Dialogue: Detective Comics has way too many characters. Tynion gives all of them good voice, and everyone who’s featured gets quite a lot to do, but there is not enough balance for the ensemble and the constant addition of new characters, new villains, etc. makes even less room for development and especially for relationship building between characters. 

Like I guess Cass is just the only kid in the Belfry period now. Alright. 

Cass, Kate, Luke, and... *sigh* Clayface have very little to do in this issue, though I’d argue that their small parts are some of the best content when one’s reading. And while it’s more than okay to center different arcs on different characters and Jean Paul getting his long, long overdue dues is more than welcome, there’s still the problem of giving everyone something that pushes their own plots forward, or at the very least, let’s us see the progress that has been made as a culmination of the previous storylines. 

Cassandra is still not even adopted by either Bruce or Kate yet for chrissake. Someone give Cass a family.

Zatanna was good and if I have to measure a Bruce this Bruce is good for my tastes, but again there’s just so many characters it’s very difficult to fully dive into their various developments, especially when it’s hard to tell if there is one.

At the very least, I can give this comic thanks for getting Cass’ speech pattern back to normal. I have to agree with some other fans who have contacted me and said that it’s not too terrible if from time to time Cass learns and memorizes a Shakespeare verse thanks to her time with Clayface, but not showing any of the characters working with Cass to teach her to read and speak and then giving her full sonnets or soliloquies is way too much and is painfully out of character to read.

DC’s Gotham Academy: Second Semester (2016-present) #12 Brenden Fletcher, Karl Kerschl, Becky Coloonan, Adam Archer, MSASSYK, Sandra Hope

After a few years of this fun, YA tale of mystery and friendship, we sadly come to a close on Gotham Academy with this final issue wrapping up the series that was very beloved by myself and a number of my comic reading friends here on the internet. It’s a different type of story in the landscape of DC’s Batbooks and it’s going to very much be missed, regardless of how well or not this last issue was going to do. 

But, with this cancelation, did the finale manage to feel like it came to a conclusive resolution for all of our favorite Gotham Academy kids?

Story: Given that this is the finale of both this storyline and for the series as a whole, going into story is a much bigger deal than it has been before. I mean, we’re talking about a narrative that really started back with Gotham Academy (2014-2016) and has come to its end here, a reboot and a year later. And it all, as it should have, revolved around the titular friendship between Olive Silverlock and Maps Mizoguchi. 

Of course all the friendships, all the support that has been built up for Olive throughout the series still play a fairly important role to her conclusion here, but it was always going to be the friendship that held Olive and Maps together that would be what drove the story at its core, and in that way this ending doesn’t feel forced or strained, but simply like a natural testing of friendship when both have made mistakes and are wrong for various reasons -- for Maps it was coming to terms with her treatment of Olive’s mental illness and accepting her for it rather than simply ignoring that it was a factor, and for Olive it was about relying on Maps and trusting her to be there for her whenever she should fall. 

That is what affects the narrative the most and that’s what the resolution to this story got right the most here. 

Still, the cancelation of GA has come at the cost of the resolution of a lot of other elements that had been built up over the series. An unfortunate affect of having spent so much of the bulk of the series building up the world, the supporting characters, and more for what was no doubt many more mysteries and subplots to come, but it’s ultimately a little lost here. Colton’s confession to Kyle doesn’t see some real focus in the finale due to time and that’s made all the more a painful thing to see cut short considering the confirmed LGBT+ elements of Gotham Academy never received direct attention in ways I know I wish I could have seen. And likewise some resolutions felt missed entirely or unnecessary, Tristan’s apparent comfort with his bat form by the end as an example of the former and Pomeline being in a romantic relationship again with oh-whats-his-beard in the final pages. 

I would not have wanted any of the final issue’s focus to have left Maps and Olive at all, as I’ve said, they are the driving force of this comic, but as understandable as it is that these shortcomings happened under the circumstances, they’re still shortcomings nonetheless. 

The one that’s the most glaring, however, is the way that Olive’s disdain and distrust of Batman ended up coming to an end here. This is a character trait that was built up with Olive since the first issue of the series, and that relationship complicated between her, her mother, Batman, and Bruce Wayne, began dropping off the radar the moment we came into Second Semester and became more and more lost only to give us this moment in the finale where she comes to terms somehow with the fact that Batman was just trying to save her mom? I don’t know. 

Speaking of which, this all coming down to magic and a secret society using Olive’s ancestral blood to control her or whatever reminded me exactly of when I was watching Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated for the first time and I adored that first season SO much and loved how it stuck to the tried and true Scooby-Doo formula of skepticism winning over superstition and the paranormal, only for the second season to... make a 180 and everything was due to magic after all. That’s kinda how I felt about Gotham Academy, we spent the first series constantly solving mysteries of Gotham Academy through the eyes of the Mystery Club and time and time again the lesson seemed to be that the legends and tribulations of the people at the heart of these things were just that -- they were people and they were real, and their problems paralleled the cast’s for that reason. 

Only for that to be somewhat wasted due to the fact that... it was all nobody’s fault and the strings were being pulled by the occult the first series had proved were false. And I suppose that’s okay, save for how it feels as though it tries to use this to wave off the genuine symptoms of mental illness Olive has shown throughout the series. 

It’s something I’ll have to chew on for a while, honestly. It’s given me a lot of complicated feelings. 

Art: Ah, the most contentious part of the series has been the massive shift in art. Karl Kerschl was the original artist for the first few volumes of Gotham Academy and his style remains a truly unique, very stylized, and very character driven style which was a huge contributing factor to launching Gotham Academy and getting it off its feet with a unique flare to draw in audiences that weren’t necessarily picking up other Batman books at the time. And his presence has been missed since he left the book, without a doubt. I’ve had people tell me personally that a big reason for dropping the book when they did had to do with the change up in art. 

I’m not condemning Adam Archer here for not being Kerschl, make no mistake. What I think has truly hurt this book, however, is that Archer either chose or was directed to attempt Kerschl’s style as close as possible which comes off as not feeling natural to Adam Archer’s own talents. That’s unfair because Archer’s work is unique, fun, and lovely n its own without this attempt to mimmic a style that was less his own. I think we would have all appreciated the art more in that respect, since other guest artists between the two like Chen were better received for their issues. 

That being said the art for this issue is not bad, but it’s not great, and missing that feeling of sincerity that was connected to by so many readers before. 

Characters & Dialogue: Considering how character driven this series is, it’s fair to say that the characterization and dialogue of these new Gothamites is unquestionable. They were always well rounded, interesting, and full of intrigue, and all the way to this conclusion, that remains to be the case. The big difference here would be that because we needed to focus on Olive and Maps, the other members of the Mystery Club were less involved than I would have liked though they very much did at least get to play a part in stopping Calamity (pun intended).

The good thing about having a single team writing from the very start of the book is that we get very strong voices throughout for all of the characters, and that remained true to the very end as well. Really, the characters were the best part and it made this feel like a very deserving farewell to our Gotham Academy family. 

Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #2 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Chen

Well, guys, never say that change isn’t real and tangible, because it almost looks like Marvel learned something from the reception of Immortal Iron Fist on Netflix and is creating a legacy from the title that shock of all shocks actually contains Asian characters for once. I know, I was stunned as well.

In all seriousness, I was super interested in this series when I first saw it with issue #1 but hadn’t bought it by the time I was doing my weekly reviews for that week. Obviously, that has since then been remedied and has left me open for a good ol’ review of the new Marvel Infinite series Immortal Iron Fists.

Story: We’re still very much in the early part set of this story, which is a combination of Danny trying to navigate the trials of adulthood while being a complete human disaster, Pei is attempting to fit in her new public school which is middle school and thus inherently filled with racist little sociopaths in training just like real life high school, and also about the two Iron Fists trying to harness all of these magic scrolls which are currently possessed by demons which increase in power each scroll before culminating into this Mega Awful Demon that is the mortal enemy of the Buddah.

So yes. Immortal Iron Fists is basically ripping off Jackie Chan Adventures and believe it or not I am absolutely fine with that, in fact I think it might be the most fine I have been with a Marvel concept in ages. It’s like making Laura Wolverine, creating Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, and now this. There, I had my arm twisted and admitted there are positive things about Marvel this week.

The story itself is a very soft, even light narrative considering the complexity of Pei’s origins and even her connection to Danny, but it’s also at the same time so fitting for what I assume is the intended audience (children and YA) and especially fitting with the art that is positively adorable and awesome. 

In this issue Pei makes her first friends, learns that there is a string of missing cases, and also decides that unlike everyone else in middle school she’s not going to be a “key to a single door” but keep all her doors open and try to bridge the gap between the various cliques, who were introduced to us Mean Girls style and it was hilarious. 

It’s just a fun read overall, but it’s also a fairly quick read so given that ever high Marvel price tag it’s hard to argue with the assessment that this one could be a trade wait for a lot of you.

Art: As I mentioned before, the art is very soft, gentle, and light. The colors pop, everyone is incredibly stylized, and the action scenes are surprisingly varied and plentiful. While they’re still simple enough to read for beginning comic readers, there is a flow to them, such as the sequence where Pei gets some revenge on some bullies at school through one extended fight sequence across a panel. 

I just really enjoyed the art and I’m glad to see so much variation in comic art lately. It’s been a long time coming.

Characters & Dialogue: Pei and Danny are the focus of the comic, obviously, and they play their roles incredibly well. Danny is ... I mean, he’s Danny Rand, he’s a complete disaster of a human being trying to Adult it with an inheritance he never cared about or really earned and as such everything rolls in and catches up with him. He literally can’t teach Pei how to clean the house without tripping on soap, and I feel like that is a perfect summation of everything anyone has ever needed to know about Danny Rand. 

In contrast, Pei is a reserved little girl, fish out of water, and drowning in a culture she has no familiarity with while also harnessing power and skills beyond her years. What I find interesting and subversive about this, though, is that Pei neither yearns for normalcy nor does she completely rebel openly against Danny’s orders for her to restrain herself and act normal. It’s honestly a relief to have a character whose problems are so relatable and have her just... treat it with the actions of a kid in the moment: uncertain but trying to play everything out until she decides she doesn’t fit the necessary mold. And she’s pleased with herself for not fitting the mold. It’s honestly kind of inspiring to see that in a kid character these days. 

But the big part of this issue was arguably building up the supporting cast, including the nanny Danny has hired for Pei and most of all the kids in Pei’s school. And how there’s apparently no point to her hiding her identity as the tiniest Iron Fist. It’s well paced and all the kids, right down to their overwhelming cruelty to their surprising generosity, are definitely acting like kids.  

Dark Horse’s The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars (2017-present) Part One Michael Dante DiMartino, Irene Koh, Vivian Ng

Ah, at long last!

While I was not in on the hype for The Legend of Korra as it was airing, my appreciation for what it’s become has grown over time, and more importantly, I fnd that it provides more possibilities and more opportunity to the world of Avatar, which is always a good thing.

As such, I’ve been waiting for this comic series to come out for quite some time! ... and then had to wait longer because for Reasons we don’t get the comiXology release at the same time as the regular issue’s release in stores. Oh, Dark Horse. 

But now to get into the specifics. 

Story: It’s always difficult to gage story with just the first issue, but in all honesty I think that the fact that the TV series ended on such an open note really helps the comic in this matter. “Turf War” is an interesting name for the story, but at the same time it’s oddly blunt and fitting. There is a war erupting between the Spirit World, the human lands and property settlement, and with the ever present Republic City triad gang wars. We follow all of these through the Krew members who are exactly where we last left off with them. 

Some of the stuff that deserves a lot of attention is the cementation of Korra and Asami’s romantic relationship, which is given a good amount of page time for the first half of the book. They confess true feelings for each other, share a first kiss, have a beautiful vacation together, and we ultimately get to see Korra’s blunt and protective nature play out accordingly. She rushes in to Asami’s aid and frets over her pretty consistently, which could be seen as a callback to the series itself when, as Korra was most down, Asami cared for and nurtured her. 

We also get to see Mako and Bolin working together as partners in the Republic City police. They deal with the triads and the general unrest that has come about as a result of Spirits and Humans openly interacting again for the first time in centuries. And this honestly felt like some greatly due development for the brothers’ relationship since in the series it felt like they had grown apart without it ever being explicitly addressed in the text.

And while all this turf grabbing is happening, we also see a parallel drama being played out. And that would be the story of how Korra and Asami choose to come out to their friends, family, and even the world. As usual, Korra barrels in half cocked and not thinking of repercussions, figuring “damned if anyone judges me” whereas Asami is more thoughtful, planning, and reserved. She’s nervous about coming out to people, and she’s nervous about how boisterous Korra is being about it. 

But they haven’t communicated this detachment between their processing of the situation yet. It’s fairly obvious that a portion of Turf Wars is going to come to a head with Asami and Korra having to address being respectful of each other’s needs to come out in their own ways first. 

In any case, it was a real great start and had lots of little moments to help explain the world without acting as though the intended audience wouldn’t have some more than passing knowledge about what was coming up.

Art: One of the most widely praised and beloved aspects of The Legend of Korra from the very start had been the beauty of its animation, so much so that the same animation house got to move on to other passion projects like the current reboot of Voltron. And one of the things that makes the world of Avatar so unique is that aspect of Eastern philosophy combined with different disciplines which inspire the forms of bending in the series. And, as was pretty clearly seen before in the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics, that is not something that is easy to translate into a more still and less fluid medium like comics.

And that mostly goes the same here. There’s a distinct lack of bending compared to what you would see in an episode of the show, but at the same time that isn’t to say that there isn’t a lot more than I thought there was. It simply did not have that many creative takes on what to do with the bending. No splash shots into the next panels, no using the elements to transition. The sort of things you’d expect from a comic inspired by a show which was all about the uniqueness of bending. 

Still, the comic did a fair job of keeping to the style of the series without the character art seeming stagnant and stationary which is usually a problem with cartoons that are adapted into comics. Hair in particular was treated with much more fluidity than I remember the show being able to give it. And the styles of the various nations and cultures were well designed while also fitting. 

Everything was well compositioned and especially the events which took place within the Spirit World were beautifully colored, though that came at the seeming cost of a duller color pattern used in the “normal” world. 

It’s a good start, and I’d argue it’s better than if it had tried to strictly stay to only the style of the series and not rely on the personal style of the artist. 

Characters & Dialogue: Given that this is an ensemble story and there was a limited amount of time to dedicate to each of the characters, we did not get as much individual development for the wider cast. But Korra and Asami got relatively large roles and since they and their relationship seems to be the driving force of the narrative, it worked out well for this issue. 

Korra was brash to a fault, but as always it is her conflict and emotions and her validity that moved the plot forward. For a character it is always important that her purpose and her growth be the defining force. And I think we definitely got that.

Asami on the other hand was the quieter personality, yes, but her hesitation and temperance also did a lot to build suspicion for future conflict in the relationship between her and Korra and also in just the world itself. Her perspective and her concerns are as real and as valid as Korra’s which means that our concerns for their coming out narrative are validated here, too. 

The dialogue is a bit harder to pin here, as again there aren’t many characters with specific inflections that really pop out, so we’ll have to wait for more issues to get a larger grasp on how the dialogue changes between characters.

Marvel’s Silk (2015-2017) Vol. 3: The Clone Conspiracy Robbie Thompson, Irene Strychalski, Tana Ford, Ian Herring

I can’t believe I’m having to say goodbye to so many books this week. It’s like my personal Cancellation Day, and the only prize is disappointment that more series I enjoyed aren’t coming my way. I’m supremely sad to see Silk go, as Cindy Moon is a hugely inspirational and important character both for being an Asian-American superhero with her own book and for narratively dealing with anxiety in depression. 

And it’s also extremely sad to see her go on what was mostly tie-ins to yet another endless Spider Event. I won’t be going into a full review for that reason, it just doesn’t seem fair to recap the end of the series knowing that a lot of the context for The Clone Conspiracy is not included in this book, nor should it really have been, but I do want to say to fellow Silk fans that there’s enough of Cindy and enough closure to her narrative that it will be worth your collection and time, but yeah there will be some lackluster stuff in the majority of the issues in this since it is a tie-in. 

And I hate that, I hate how much endless tie-ins have felt like they’re killing books lately. 

But Robbie Thompson was a fantastic, thoughtful, and well articulated writer throughout this series and for Silk before this series, really making her a real character where her initial introduction was... not that... ugh pheromones and gross twitter trolls. Anyway, Robbie Thompson truly made a character to love in Cindy Moon, and the two artists who contributed throughout the series -- Irene Strychalski and Tana Ford did amazing very stylized work and weren’t afraid to experiment with style and page correlation.

It was a great read and I’m going to miss it a whole lot.

DC’s Titans (2016-present) #14 Dan Abnett, Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund, Andrew Dalhouse

Hello, world, it’s me, the Titans fan who wished upon the monkey’s paw that her favorite heroes would be restored to their former glory and that their friendship would be allowed to flourish on the page once again. And in return I got Roy’s stupid hat. 

But in truth, I’ve been fairly pleased with Titans since the very first issue in Rebirth and have felt taken aback by just how much the creative team seems to love the characters, their relationships, and their history. But now we’ve got to answer that ultimate question: a year later with those rosy tinted glasses still firmly on my face, am I starting to eep out of the honeymoon phase? Or it this book still living up to unrealistic expectations?

Story: We’re in the middle of the sleeper agent storyline and it’s probably more difficult to gage how good a story is doing by its middle than it is by its start, in all honesty. All the same, the distrust running through the Titans, the pain of conflict and second guessing each other’s friendships and so on. It’s not a bad way to flesh out the arc, and I wouldn’t say that like a lot of storylines’ mid-issues this one felt useless or flat. 

There is a definite escalation throughout the issue of how the Titans are beginning to fold in on each other, how HIVE’s master plan to destroy them from the inside may be working before we ever get confirmation about a betrayer. And the testing of the relationships among the Titans in that delicate web they weave cause everyone to trip over each other once they’re really put to the test. 

That being said, it’s still not hitting all those points perfectly. While you can see an organic build to the relationship of Lilith and Garth that’s been pretty fun and true to the characters so far, the love triangle between Wally, Donna, and Roy is something I’m pretty confident in saying no one wanted. I have seen no one say they wanted this. And weirdly it continues to put all the female characters in romantic relationships as the crux of their developments while we still have at least Dick and Gnarrk on the men’s side who don’t have to be motivated by this bull. The best part of the love triangle so far has been Donna throwing Roy and Wally both when she realizes what’s going on.

As for Dick being the sleeper agent well, I guess it’s one of those... shoulda seen it coming because of course we have Dick involved with another covert secret underground all powerful world corrupting group in another book. I don’t know why I was expecting different. But at least in the defense of Titans, it does feel like a good call back to the original New Teen Titans storyline with the cult of Brother Blood where similar happened and it was Dick again. 

People just really like mindfucking with Dick, there’s not really much else to say about it. 

Art: Ever since Brett Booth first appeared on my radar I’ve been fairly critical of him as an artist. His style was never really my taste, but he’s proven again and again on Titans to really pull some variation in body types and physicality that I hadn’t seen on his previous works. I like that the guys all have different body types and that the girls’ costumes and personality are reflections of themselves. 

That being said, we still have a problem of Sameface with the girls at the very least, where honestly some panels the only difference between Donna and Lilith is hair color. But the colors are vibrant and the panels are all full of details, no space wasted.

Which is both a compliment and a criticism since, to be frank, the absolute refusal to have any normal panels basically gives us the opposite of my criticism of Turf Wars which is that there seems to be no real complexity because of the constant unstable panel work. 

This is the comic book equivalent of shooting every scene in a movie with dutch angles. There’s no dramatic or narrative reason to have these panels slanted and all over the place, but every panel will be that way. Even panels where we’re literally reading the characters talking about pizza. 

It gives us no real change between action sequences and normal sequences so it’s just kind of boring in spite of the dynamic panels. Which I’m pretty sure is the opposite of what they wanted.

Characters & Dialogue: If it wasn’t clear in the story portion, I’m not a fan of how when it comes to individual character development, we have conveniently gotten all three of our female heroes into romantic subplots with at least one (now possibly two? if we’re hinting at Tula like I think we are) love triangles in the mix. It just feels like it’s 2017 and we should be beyond that sort of “what kind of subplot do we give the girls? love I guess”

That being said, it’s really been amazing to me, personally, to see just how good this comic continues to be at making these characters feel like the ones we knew and loved prior to the New52. Not exact, not perfect, but pretty close to the preferences for each of the characters as we can get with the current character histories being what they are. Like, personally, I’m much more enthusiastic about Dick and Wally in this book than I am about them in Nightwing and The Flash because it just feels like them, Wally’s current romantic entanglements aside. 

Still, it’s a fun book and for what it lacks with some characterization quirks it always tends to make up for later in the story so for the current storyline I’m willing to wait a touch longer.

IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One (2016-2017) #12 Mairghread Scott, Sara Pitre-Durocher, Joana Lafuente

Wow. Another one of my favorite ongoings is ending today and I’m starting to worry it’s me. I hope I’m not actually the kiss of death to these comics because, full stop, Windblade and Till All Are One have been some of the most enjoyable comics I’ve read in the last several years and there’s probably no comic getting canceled this year that makes me sadder than this one. 

So, how does Till All Are One leave us?

Story: Mairghread Scott has absolutely blown me away over the last year with her comics and just her obvious, obvious love and understanding of the expansive Transformers universe. Her world building has spanned over several series now and her character work has truly been put to task by having to stand up against fan favorite TF writers like John Barber and James Roberts. And I think nothing has proved her talents more than Till All Are One, where all that build up and all that character work is allowed to at long las come to fruition. 

This conclusion could have been use to tease us with the ideas and storylines that Scott obviously had planned (and if people are curious I really encourage you to look up the storylines she had planned and posted to her tumblr), but Scott instead made this a solid ending and a celebration of the comic she was allowed to make. And much like Gotham Academy, she did so by bringing it back home to the characters which have driven the series the most: Windblade and Starscream.

The tumultuous relationship between the two same yet so very different jets has been something that I’ve adored watching play out. Their distrust of each other, their manipulations, their political games, and ultimately their teamwork for the greater good. It’s been fascinating and also has put me on the edge of my seat. 

There is nothing more uncharacteristic, nothing more selfless than what Starscream did by putting his own life at risk in order to save Windblade, and the fact that Windblade at last got the confirmation she’s desired about Starscream’s true self feels like a great resolution to all the buildup over the years. This is a very triumphant ending, to the point that 80s Business Woman style Windblade ended by strutting out the door. 

I sincerely hope we are going to be blessed with more of Scott’s signature Transformers writing in the IDW’verse and I desperately hope that this is not the end of Windblade who has quickly risen as one of my favorite Transformers. 

Art: The majority of the artists on the Transformers titles for IDW are honestly so good and so amazing that I barely know what even to say about the art. The art standard for bringing these robotic transforming cars with heart is so high that it leaves one baffled when it comes to what’s left to say about them, any of them. And even with that standard, Sara Pitre-Durocher manages to amaze me.

Of the Transformers artists I would say her style serves to be the most sleak and the most expressive. Theres not necessarily any time where you think of the Transformers as being “soft” or “pliable” -- they’re still metal and wires with all the complexity therein -- but there’s a believability to the phrase “living metal” that doesn’t always come across in some other artist’s work where the bulk and construction of the Transformers seems more prominent than their expressionism and agility. 

The fact that this book gets to at least end with having had consistently amazing art throughout is a highlight and why I think it’s going to be one of the titles returned to the most fondly of the IDW’verse.

Characters & Dialogue: Starscream’s duplicity is his most iconic character trait, of course, and I’ll be the first to say I’m sort of worn out with classic villains being “reexamined” and given redemptions and whatnot these days, but I love how malicious and cruel Starscream has remained in this series while simultaneously showing us and himself through Windblade and Till All Are One the kind of character he could aspire to be (hello Armada allusions) and therefore making it more frustrating and even tragic when he boldly makes the decision to be the opposite of his own potential. 

Windblade on the other hand has grown as a character since we first met her. Her naivety and pure intentions have been warped and she now understands how to play the game of politics, but also what it costs -- her honesty, her friends, her belief system. And she was willing to sacrifice herself despite learning all of that -- she was willing to put herself in mortal danger knowing that it wasn’t a perfect, harmonious society she was doing it for but a deeply flawed one. And the fact that she ultimately survived and is now capable of moving forward for herself with the new ambition of being open and speaking for herself more than being a figuehead or politician feels like an arc that was built up to through all this time and yet at the same time was something surprising and unexpected.

Other characters didn’t really play much of a significant role in this ending, which puts it like a lot of the other story bookends this week where a large cast doesn’t really get to close out with homage to the majority of those characters. But this felt more solid, at least to me, because of the wisdom Scott had in using the last several issues to bring the focus in particular to Starscream’s POV and then building up to Windblade’s. It feels like what loose ends for other characters are left are left in ways that are going to be easily picked up by another book or by another creative team entirely rather than everything simply being cut off. 

Just an awesome book and I’m so sorry to see it come to an end.

It��s another difficult pick of the week but for me, I absolutely have to give this one to Transformers: Till All Are One. It’s one of my favorite series in a long time and it ended on a resolution that made me honestly puff up with pride for the main characters. It’s a comic which embraces history of its franchise while growing it, a comic that embraces questions of politics, identity, gender, sexuality, and more. It’s been a beautiful ride and I wish the best to the entire creative team.

But I thought all the comics were great this week and highly recommend you check them out! Of course I’d love to hear back from you -- agree with me? Disagree? Think I missed any comics I should’ve picked up? I’d love to hear from you.

Before you go, however, I need to share that I am in a bit of a financial crunch for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being the medical bills I’m paying for my dog, Eve, who experienced a catastrophic dog fight and underwent surgery just yesterday actually. 

As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content. 

You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.

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