#also the competency kink...

[thearchercore]

Ferrari posts "charles leclerc blindfolds carlos sainz" in their latest monza vid

What do we have to pay for "charles leclerc blindfolds max verstappen" to happen

to be honest i think the ferrari social team came up with the ultimate deadly formula for them with that format bc i dont think either max or charles would be able to combine sim racing blindfolded and talking through the circuits together without having a crisis afterwards

[noyzinerd]

Sterek Rival Lawyers AU

It's A (Court) Date

Imagine, high-class, Ivy League, hot-shot, attorney Derek comes back from New York to the family firm to take over as partners with his sister after his parents decide to step down. He may not be on the level of his mother yet, but he's cut his teeth against Wall Street wolves and ruthless white-collar sharks. Derek's more than proved himself, so he just can't fathom these small criminal court cases his family is making him take "before he's truly ready" to be a part of the family business.

Enter in his first case. Right out the gate, the state assigned defense is, not only late to court, but also arrives in a flurry of limbs and papers, tripping all over himself, and profusely apologizing to the room as a whole. "Sorry! Sorry! Car trouble!"

The guy is out of breath, tie crooked and hair a mess. It makes Derek wrinkle his nose at the unprofessionalism and the blatant disrespect to everyone's valuable time.

The presiding judge, the Honorable Ms. Lydia Martin, only sighs a heavy sigh, as if this sight is nothing new, and says "Mr. Stilinski, I suggest you don't let it happen again."

Derek is honestly getting annoyed by how easy this is going to be. He could've been doing literally anything else right about now rather than being here going against a common rent-a-lawyer with some Podunk community-college degree. The opening statement for the defense is laughably inept. Full of nervous stuttering, backtracking, running tangents, and babbling. He's still apologizing, trying to assure the jury that he's just having an off-day today.

It's embarrassing to watch.

Nonetheless, Derek goes through the motions, practiced and poised. Examines all the evidence, presenting times and dates, prior arrest records, the works.

During this time, Mr. Stilinski is frantically (and VERY LOUDLY) flitting through a cartoonishly large stack of papers and whispering to his client. Derek has to fight to grit his teeth through his presentation.

Finally, it's time for Mr. Stilinski to cross-examine Derek's client and, unbeknownst to him, the beginning of Derek's long, long spiral of madness for the rest of his career.

"Judge Martin, I would like to move to have this case thrown out."

"Oh?" asks Judge Martin. For some reason, there's an amused smirk, almost fond, tugging at her lips "On what grounds?"

A giddy, almost manic, grin takes over the defense attorney's face just then. "On the grounds that the prosecution's client is full of bullshit."

The judge rolls her eyes and an exasperated "Stiles," slips from her lips, seemingly against her will. (Derek's not really surprised by the familiarity between the two of them. With how often state-assigned lawyers are called to the courtroom on small cases, it wouldn't be too big of a leap to suggest they might be chummy.)

"Respectfully, of course." Mr. Stilinski--er Stiles?--winks back at her.

"Objection. Your honor, this is ridiculous."

"Overruled. Make your point, Stilinski."

"Mr. Davis says he saw my client at 12:30 P.M., on August 4th, attempting to take his back-right hubcap outside his apartment. Mr. Davis' apartment complex at that time, on that particular day, would have cast a huge shadow over the back lot as evidenced by the gaudy sundial-art-installation outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, my client's picture, when taken in for questioning, has a sunburn on the entire right side of his face. This would corroborate Mr. Lyle's story of walking home alone, down the upper, unshaded side of Elmore Street, during one of the hottest days of the year, for an hour straight. Also, the fact that Mr. Davis has no realistic idea how long it would actually take a person to steal a hubcap should be evidence enough."

"Uh-huh. And this wouldn't happen to be something you've ever had any expertise in, would it, counsel?"

"I plead the 5th."

And just like that, Derek's case is thrown out so quick, he's still reeling about it all the way home.

For the next two years, this becomes Derek's life. This man, this Stiles Stilinski, keeps showing up like a whirlwind and absolutely puts him in his paces.

Stiles, as he insists Derek call him, is a powerhouse. Relentless and unstoppable. That mouth can filibuster for literal hours (which, for those unfamiliar, is when someone legally cannot be forced to give up their time on the floor as long as they can keep talking), that brain quick as a whip, with a hunger for research, a mastery of the English language svelte enough to trip up even the most well-rehearsed lie, and an attention to detail like nothing Derek has ever witnessed before. It's like he knows every law inside and out. Lives it. Breathes it. It's like he had been raised on the law his whole life. Not only that, it's like Stiles enjoys it. Every case is a new game to get excited about.

All of it makes Derek's blood boil.

However, it's not always about losing to Stiles all the time, because, honestly, that might be less humiliating.

In truth, when faced against Stiles, Derek's bound to win about 60% of the time. Out of that 60%, only 5% of those wins actually feel earned. As for the other 55%?

He knows Stiles is letting him win.

Derek can't prove it, but he knows the asshole is holding back on purpose nearly half the time. Knowing that Stiles could have beaten him if he wanted to, but didn't, is somehow more frustrating than just losing.

He hates Stiles.

He hates that the guy is so chipper and playful all the damn time. He hates that Stiles could probably work at any firm he wanted, could make enough money to get a decent car that doesn't shit out all the time, could buy a proper-fitting suit, but instead CHOOSES to stay here "watching out for the little guy", as he so put it.

He hates that facing Stiles in court is the most challenged, the most motivated he's ever felt in his entire life. He hates that Stiles brings out in him the spark of passion and drive Derek had long thought had died. He hates that Stiles always tries to banter with him during recess or whenever they have to exchange evidence.

He hates finding out that Stiles only loses cases on purpose when his endless amounts of research points to the defendant actually being guilty of horrendous crimes, because Stiles is a good fucking person.

He hates Stiles' constant teasing and he hates that Stiles is somehow able to bring Derek down to his childish level to tease back. He hates how much he looks forward to court-dates with Stiles now. He hates being invited out by Stiles over and over to grab a bite together after a long day, as if Stiles hasn't been wiping the floor with him on this case for the last month. He hates it even more that he always accepts and that now they have their own designated booth at the diner across the street. Derek's so unbelievably frustrated, it makes him want to bite Stiles at the neck just to hear that smartass mouth squeal.

"Hey, I ever tell you I was thinking of quitting before you arrived?" Stiles asks one night as they're walking to their cars.

Derek's head immediately snaps to him at that. "What?"

Stiles smiles distantly at the thought. "Oh, yeah. Things had started feeling like being trapped in a cubicle, y'know? There wasn't any challenge in it anymore."

"What made you stay?"

"Well...you did. You were the first, serious competition I'd faced in a while. It wasn't a matter of winning just to win, anymore. Going against you always reminded me of the reason why it was important for me to win. It gave me stakes, because now there was an actual chance I could lose and an innocent person could go to jail. You, I don't know, kinda reignited my passion for fighting the good fight, I guess."

Derek can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest. He wants to say 'You did the same for me!' He wants to tell Stiles that he didn't think his life could ever be this fun or happy or messy or chaotic or exhilarating or challenging or fulfilling before coming to Beacon Hills.

But just as Derek goes to open his mouth to sing Stiles' praises, he instead finds himself roughly shoving him up against the Camaro and biting hungrily at that mouth and tongue that's been the bane of his existence. There's a surprised little squeak that Derek quickly swallows up, but it isn't long before they're both tearing at each others' clothes and fucking each other dirty in the backseat of Derek's car.

What's crazy is, after they get together, nothing in their careers really changes. The only difference is now they get to fuck each others' brains out after an intense battle in court (and the sound Stiles makes when Derek bites him is exactly what he always imagined it would sound like). They still face against each other on opposite sides in court. They still give it everything they got, no conceding even if they are dating now. Not to mention, Derek wouldn't dream of tempting Stiles over to his firm. Not when he knows Stiles is at his best staying where he's at.

The day Derek's family finally decides it's time for him to take over the firm with Laura is the best day of his and Stiles' lives.

Not only does Derek tell them he's declining, he hires Stiles as his attorney to negotiate terms against his entire family of well-seasoned lawyers.

The entire month-long negotiation results in Derek, not saying a single word, but absolutely beaming as he watches his boyfriend run circles around his mother, his father, his uncle, and both of his sisters on contracts. It's so unbelievably hot, they're banging on whatever flat surface they can get their hands on every time they leave the boardroom. There's even one very memorable blowjob in the empty hall outside the boardroom when Stiles somehow manages to get Peter to agree to a (most likely illegal) clause dictating the firm will pay Stiles a finder's fee for any pro-bono case Stiles takes on outside of Beacon Hills that strikes his fancy.

And, no one says it, but they all know Derek definitely, 100%, dragged his own firm through this negotiation just to show off how incredible Stiles is to his family and preen about it.

--

Fast-forward, Derek is going to be in the audience for the first time for one of Stiles' cases.

While waiting in the hall, Derek sees a familiar face from his New York days. The prosecution has hired the eighth best lawyer money can get, Jackson Whittemore. He's sporting a Rolex, sunglasses indoors, and the face of someone who thinks he's above literally every other person in town.

Well, at least until he sees Derek.

For some reason, Jackson seems to think Derek is all the way out in the middle of nowhere to 'watch a master at work' (which...well...is technically true...).

As Derek goes to sit in the audience, Jackson tells him in passing, "This'll be over so fast, probably won't even get a chance to learn the other guy's name."

Derek chuckles and says back, "Ooh, buddy, you have no idea."

Before Jackson can think more on that, a whirlwind of limbs and papers suddenly hurls through the doors.

Derek sits back, gets comfy, and waits eagerly for the show to begin.

My first moodboard. Hope you enjoy. AU based on a discussion with @casually-eat-my-soul (I suggest checking out their version). This was kind of like a divergence from that (the brain juices just started flowing).

[arkaniist]

my favorite interpretation of alhaitham right now (regarding kaveh) is that it's not that he hates or ever hated kaveh, it's that he deeply respects and looks up to him and doesn't know how to emotionally process his disappointment that kaveh doesn't and can't live up to his ideal. kaveh is a genius, kaveh is so smart and talented and good at what he cares about, but kaveh is also laughably gullible, he drinks way too much, he's easy to walk all over, he's somehow deluded himself into thinking he's NOT better and smarter and more perfect than everyone else. alhaitham sees kaveh wasting his potential and it makes him angry. it makes him lash out, like he could just insult and belittle kaveh enough to force him to break out of the foolish altruistic prison he trapped himself in and start being selfish and caring about himself like he should!!

i'm saying he's the 'get out of my school' crush kid. he likes kaveh so much that it horseshoes right back around to being out-of-his-gourd angry at kaveh most of the time. he doesn't know how to be gentle and encouraging, he's not patient either, so why can't kaveh just understand?

[inchidentally]

was looking for something else but I've never seen this classic example of their engineer vs. visual artist dynamic where Oscar discovers a problem and goes for a logical solution vs Lando struggling without knowing why until he sees what Oscar is doing and copies it but with added flair✨

[greenerteacups]

Loved literally everything about the last chapter but the thing that really got me....

Hermione *watching Draco lord over firsties*: This may have awakened something in me...

The first thing to remember about Hermione (whom I adore, whom I would die for, who is my babygirl and my silly rabbit and my number one trigger-happy would-be teenage evil genius) is that she is a completely ridiculous freak. International quidditch star with hordes of admirers who wants to take you abroad? Eh, he'll do in a pinch. Your weird snotty best friend/academic husband/newfound coworker ordering around some eleven-year-olds like it's the marines? Deeply alluring.

She's not normal, your honor.

[thirstforhelmets]

Ganondorf x F!Reader: After your life! I’m -not- your wife AU

Ganondorf: How many times does this make it, Assassin? Four losses?

F!reader: *Beat up and nearly unconscious on the ground* 

F!Reader/Assassin/Future!Wife: *Has barely enough strength to flip him the bird before fully collapsing in exhaustion*

Ganondorf: *Smirks before eyeing the stolen Master Sword embedded in the ground nearby* 

Ganondorf: You’re lucky your tenacity for humiliation has kept that sword out of the whelp’s hands for this long.

Ganondorf: *Kneels down next to your head* 

Ganondorf: Expect me to visit your village next month.

Assassin: Urgh...

Ganondorf: I’ll be staying in your room the whole time as well.

Assassin: Fuck you, Gaan...

Ganondorf: *pauses for a moment*

Ganondorf: Our daughter still likes blue, right?

Assassin: *deep sighs*

[mysticsublimeperson]

Imagine this!

Time travel Merlin Au, where Merlin comes back to Camelot after thousands of years and all that… you know the drill.

Merlin knowing modern techniques of Medicine and rescue.

I repeat because I want to make my self clear

Merlin knowing modern techniques of Medicine and rescue.

I talking relieving pressure in the lungs or the brains by stabbing them with a needle.

Rescuing the knights from drowning and then using CPR

Carrying someone outside of a house on fire by himself

You know this kind of thing

I just think that Merlin being a hot firefighter in the medieval times would be just prefect

[tiffanybluesclues]

same energy

[skybear007]

The fact that levi ackerman is not only strong, but adaptable, quick on his feet, and so incredibly intelligent?? But he's also emotionally aware (he's still emotionally constipated but he could be a lot worse), and just so inherently kind despite the circumstances GOD i love him!!!

[beautifulstorms]

‘Their face to face holds have never been good’ is even less of an acceptable excuse for L/L’s empty free dance for me lol…top 5 teams aiming for the podium shouldn’t be able to get away with being poor at the fundamentals of the discipline. If they’d been competing in 2010 the code would’ve forced them to get better at it, so it’s not entirely their fault when the incentives aren’t there, but they can’t possibly be hailed as the best team in the world - which many fans already do! - when many pairs teams are doing more difficult partner work. The diagonal step sequence is absolutely egregious this season, they’re so far apart it should counteract the GOE they get for the speed. I want to be able to root for them! But at least T/V are attempting more than the barest of bare minimums.

the thing is that no top teams are really skating in closed hold, even the ones that can do it well (i.e. g/f), even the team doing a tango. it's hard to penalize l/l for having poor closed holds when in 2024 it's barely even a feature of the sport. what they do have is better edgework / speed / projection than the teams above them, qualities that are still assessable in today's programs and valued by the scoring system. for me it's not according to what ice dance should be but rather what ice dance currently is.

that being said it does feel like that over six seasons the field collectively gave up on difficult skating and the ISU let it happen. and I do wish some team would shake up the status quo with challenging, intricate footwork in close hold. but I don't really expect it of anyone since there's no advantage in it

[nerd-flash]

casual use of “tangent” on the golf course

[veraynes-blog]

I enjoyed my May-December gothic courtly romance so much 🥺💕

[alocalband]

I gotta say... thank you to everyone who has read and commented or left kudos on my most recent NurseyDex offering! I know it's a short one, but there's something about it... IDK I just really loved writing it, so I'm glad you all are enjoying reading it.

While it's definitely the shortest of the fic I'll be posting over the next couple weeks, it might be my favorite at the moment? It just felt so them, and all the words spilled out of me in a single sitting, it was great.

[blistering-typhoons]

sherlock holmes adaptations where holmes looks at watson and just goes "ah. my bestie who i love come live with me???" <333

[minecraftian1213]

Codywan (or Jangobi) Crocodile Dundee!AU where Obi-Wan goes undercover as a reporter from Coruscant and ventures to Mandalore bc the Council got word of some shit going down with the Mand'alor's son.

I figure relations between Jedi and Mandalorians aren't strained but they have an unspoken "don't mess with me or mine and I won't mess with you". Just like in most AUs yannow. Still, relations between Mandalore as a society and the rest of the Republic wouldn't be terrible.

Council sends our lovely Obi-Wan because for some force-forsaken reason (Qui-Gon's teachings), he's good at this stuff. And he may or may not have spent a year on Mandalore before but that's up to the author's discretion.

If Obi's somehow recognized as a Jedi, well I just think some scenes would be just a little funnier. Like the one where Mick tells Sue which end of the rifle is the dangerous end and she doesn't blink before nearly shooting his toe off. "So it is" in that amount of dry sarcasm is exactly Obi-Wan.

Recognized Jedi or no, they (Cody or Jango), would have an interesting time watching this strangely competent man from Coruscant survive this hostile world.

[no-regrets-only-memories]

last lines!

tagged by @powerful-owl to share the last lines i wrote 💙 this is one of the halloween fest au ideas i've been spinning around in my head like evil cotton candy 😈

Daniel is still weighing their first shitty option against their second shitty option when Max answers. “Well. I am, so.” His statement doesn’t register at first, an axe bouncing off its intended target. Daniel asks, “You’re what?” before his brain can catch up and fully process the context. It’s a delayed reaction, a slow IV drip, a timer counting down the last three seconds before an explosion. It hits Daniel like the impact of a concrete wall at the same time that Max speaks. “A virgin.”

tagging @disarmd, @adimouze, @tiredeg, @alasarys if you're interested + anyone else who wants to join!