#also the Dr. Light theme still fills me with FEELINGS

[lostfracturess]

symptoms and causes | ch. 16

pairing — professor gojo x med student reader

summary — he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart — and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.

word count — 11.5 k

warnings — 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, substance and alcohol abuse, dark themes, unhealthy relationships, codependency, trauma, medical content and mentions of death, illness, abuse, and blood. full trigger warnings available on the masterlist. reader discretion is advised.

previously — unable to watch satoru turn to his abusive family for help with naoya's massive lawsuit, you're heading to his party against satoru's wishes, hoping to find something, anything, that might help his situation. but what happens when satoru decides to crash the party? and what will you find in that locked room?

author's note — hello lovelies, welcome back !! this chapter picks up right where we left off, but through satoru's eyes this time. also important note: this chapter contains a brief mention of SA concerning a background event not related to any of our main characters. as always, please mind all trigger warnings. and now enjoy the chaos <3

series masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad

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I saw her the moment I stepped into that goddamn party, and everything inside me went still. 

Like that moment right before you drown, when the water first fills your lungs and the world goes quiet. Terrifying and so still.

She stood there under those cheap neon lights, looking scared and yet so beautiful—beautiful in that terrible way that makes you want to destroy something, that makes you want to tear it apart just to prove it's real.

Every fiber of my being screamed to go to her, to grab her and get her the hell out of here. Away from this place, away from him, away from all of it. 

But I couldn't move. Couldn't let the mask slip, not here, not with all these eyes on me. So I plastered on that easy smile and played the part of the mildly annoyed professor who just happened to crash a student party.

As if my skin wasn't crawling with the need to use again, veins begging for something—anything—to take the edge off. As if the mere sight of her didn't make me feel like someone had reached into my chest and ripped my fucking heart out, her next breath away from something I might regret.

She looked up at me with those pretty eyes of hers, and I saw the guilt there, swimming just beneath the surface. And for one horrible moment I thought, Good. Let it pull her under like it's pulling me. Let it fill her lungs the way fear is filling mine.

I almost hated her then — for lying to me again and again, for doing stupid things behind my back again and again, for making me feel this goddamn helpless again and again and again and fucking again.

But what lay beneath was worse. Because I knew why she was here. Always trying to save me, even if it meant throwing herself into the deep end, drowning right alongside me. And that's the worst kind of torture, isn't it? 

Watching the person you love cut themselves open on all your broken pieces, bleeding themselves dry, yet still reaching for more. And that thought made me want to scream.

"We'll talk about this later," I said, forcing that easy smile back onto my face though everything inside me was screaming to get her out of this goddamn house before she got herself into more trouble. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need a drink."

I pushed past her, shoulder grazing hers, and I had to clench my fists to keep from turning back. Had to bite my tongue until I tasted blood to keep from saying something I couldn't take back. She had no idea what she did to me. Or maybe she did, and that was even worse.

Love and hate tangled together in my chest until I couldn't breathe. Because that's what she does to me — makes me feel everything at once, until I can't tell what's real anymore. Until I can't tell if I want to love her or ruin her. Until I can't remember which one would hurt more. Who I was before her. If I was anyone at all.

And it hit me then, as I left her standing there, all defiance and reckless stupidity and so unbearably precious it physically hurt—this must be what they mean when they say love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Because I loved her so much it felt like hatred. Hated her so deeply it could only be love.

Always on the razor's edge. One wrong step, and we'd both bleed out. Maybe we already were.

When was the last time I even went to a party like this anyway? Years ago, probably. Back when I could still pretend I had my shit together. Before I understood what it meant to love someone so consuming that self-destruction became a form of worship.

I needed a drink. Maybe ten. Maybe something stronger. 

Bass thundered through the floorboards as I shouldered my way deeper into the house, some shitty pop track slamming in my skull. Or maybe that was just the rage still burning in my bloodstream.

Sweaty bodies pressed in on all sides, but I barely noticed, lost in the chaos raging in my head. Lost in the desperate need scratching at my throat to turn back, to find her, to make sure she hadn't slipped away like every other good thing in my life.

I ordered vodka. First sip burned, but not enough. Never enough to wash away the fear, to forget that she was here, in this house, with him. The same bastard who'd tried to—My grip tightened on the glass. Yeah. Definitely needed something stronger. Here's hoping these kids still remember how to party.

"Professor Gojo! No way!"

A group of my students appeared beside me at the bar, their faces flushed with alcohol. Aoi, of course—that kid was everywhere. And Miwa, looking starstruck as always. Just my fucking luck.

"Is this what you all do instead of studying for my exams?" I asked, letting that easy smile slide into place.

"Come on, Prof, we've been killing ourselves over your damned hard exams," Miwa chimed in, all bright eyes and alcohol courage. "We deserve a break."

I let myself slip into the familiar role. The cool professor. The guy everyone wants to hang with. It was easier than I expected, letting their drunken energy wash over me, cracking jokes, making them laugh. Almost enough to wash out the withdrawal that made it nearly impossible to think straight. Almost enough to forget why I was really here. Almost.

Aoi was rambling about something, but I wasn't listening. Instead, I turned slightly, catching her gaze across the room. She looked at me like she wanted to kill me. Funny, how we wanted the same thing sometimes.

My woman. My stubborn, reckless, absolutely infuriating woman. Even now, with me watching her from across the room, I could see that defiance bright in her eyes. Even now, even here, in defiance of everything I'd asked of her, she stood her ground. 

It was admirable, really. And sometimes, that very defiance made me want to break her. Perhaps only to prove I could. To prove she wasn't in control. Perhaps because I was terrified that I wasn't. That I never was.

It's terrifying how thin that line is.

"See? Fucking legend!" Aoi raised his beer, at something I said, I think. I can't remember. Something clever, probably. Something that fits the role. "To the coolest professor on campus!" 

I raised my glass, I think. I can't remember. And that's when I caught sight of them by the front entrance. Suguru walked up to her, still standing where I'd left her, and cradled her face in his hands, tilting it up to meet his gaze. My god, could he be any more obvious about it?

I knew that look in his eyes. Had seen it countless times before, during all those long hours in the lab when he thought I wasn't paying attention. The way he'd lean in close to check her work, his hand lingering on her shoulder a moment too long. The way his eyes would follow her every move.

My best friend, in love with the love of my life. What a sick fucking joke.

He was examining her face now, probably making sure she was alright, being the good, caring friend he always was. His thumb brushed across her cheek, and something violent stirred in my gut. Because she didn't pull away. Of course she didn't. She never did, not with him.

They looked good together, standing there in the dim light. The brilliant researcher and his gifted student. No addiction between them. No sharp edges that sliced you open if you got too close. And I hated that.

I watched as she placed her hand over his, the gesture unbearably tender. Watched as he smiled down at her, that gentle smile he reserved only for her.

And just for a moment — one single, agonizing moment — I let myself picture a world where I hadn't reached her first. Where she'd chosen him instead. The better man. The one who'd never drag her down into his own personal hell.

The thoughts spiraled darker, louder, until I could barely breathe through the noise. Glass creaked under my grip. I needed a fucking pill. Needed something, anything, to make this stop. To make everything just fucking stop.

"Professor?" Miwa’s voice. "You okay?"

More students crowded the bar, blocking my view of them. One of them—what was his name? Third-year, not a complete idiot—shoved another beer into my hand. I chugged it in one long pull, their chatter fading to background noise.

"Well." That voice. That fucking voice. "Look who decided to crash my party after all."

I turned, meeting Naoya's scarred face with a smile that was all teeth and no warmth. "Zenin. Quite the gathering you've got here."

"Indeed." He signaled the bartender. "I gotta say though, I'm surprised to see you here, Professor. Don't tell me you're playing chaperone tonight?"

His words stripped away any pretense. He knew. Of course he fucking knew why I was really here. Not that I'd been particularly subtle about it.

"Just felt like reliving my youth," I said, taking the drink he offered. Anything to keep my hands busy, to keep myself from finishing what I'd started with his face.

Zenin's smirk widened, the scars pulling his flesh into something even uglier. "Ah yes, the good old days. Back when teachers knew their place and didn't go around screwing their students."

The fake smile slid off my face, the glass creaking in my grip as I pictured how easily his windpipe would crumple under my hands. How satisfying it would be to watch that smirk disappear for good.

"Careful, Zenin. Your face is already fucked up enough as is. Would be a damn shame if something happened to what's left of it."

He laughed, the sound grating on my last nerve like nails on a chalkboard. "Always so protective. But tell me, Professor, does she know the real reason you're here? Does she know about the—"

"Enough," I bit out.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" His eyes flicked across the room, landing on her. The way he looked at her made my vision bleed red around the edges. "She really is something else, isn't she? Too bad I didn't get a chance to get her alone that night—"

My hand lashed out before I could think, fisting in his collar. The fabric bunched in my grip as I hauled him close enough to see my own fury reflected in his eyes. "You fucking—"

Then Suguru was there, his hand slamming down on the bar between us. Silent, steady—a wall between me and a one-way ticket to unemployment. He didn't say a word, just fixed me with that look. The one I'd explicitly asked for earlier. Stop me before I do something I'll regret.

Fuck, I was really starting to regret that request right about now.

Then I felt her—her touch impossibly gentle as she laid her hand on my bicep, the heat of her skin seeping through my shirt. She leaned in close, "Satoru, can we talk for a minute?"

Her soft plea sliced through the haze, and suddenly I became acutely aware of the deafening silence that had fallen over the room, of the countless eyes boring into us.

I uncurled my fingers from Naoya's collar one by one, even though everything in me screamed to finish what I'd started. To paint the walls with whatever was left of his face. But I couldn't. We both knew. So I stepped back and followed her.

─── ·✧· ───

She led me through the crowd, her fingers still wrapped so gently around my arm. We pushed our way past the prying eyes, down a hallway, until she found what looked like an empty office. Probably belonged to Naoya's father, judging by the dark wood and that rich people smell.

For a moment, we just stood there, neither of us willing to shatter the fragile silence. Moonlight sliced through the blinds, turning everything silver and strange, like we were underwater. Maybe we were. I wasn't sure anymore. Her hand slipped from my arm, and suddenly I felt cold.

I collapsed into the chair behind the desk, the leather groaning under my weight. She stood silhouetted at the window, arms wrapped tight around herself, and I had to look away. Had to focus on something else, because I knew one glance at those eyes and I'd break.

My fingers found the pill on their own. Out of habit, really. Without thinking, I snatched up the silver letter opener next to me and crushed the pill beneath it, watching the powder scatter across the polished wood like fresh snow. I bent down and let the burn fill my nose, sear through my brain, numbing everything in an instant. 

When I looked up, she was staring. Always fucking staring, with eyes that flayed me to the bone. And she did it so effortlessly. Saw through everyone around her with that unnerving precision. Or maybe she saw through everything so clearly because she looked for the very things she wanted to hide from others.

"That's new," she said. Not an accusation. I was glad it wasn't.

"It's faster."

I averted my gaze and sank deeper into the chair, letting my head fall back against the headrest as warmth flooded my veins and the ceiling blurred and shifted above me. And then everything went soft around the edges, like looking through frosted glass.

A long exhale escaped my lips. Finally—fucking finally—the constant noise in my head, all that shit I can't shut up—the love, the hate, the fucking terror of it all—it faded to a whisper. The world got a little quieter, a little less sharp. A little more bearable.

For one perfect moment, I could actually breathe. Could almost convince myself I was in control. That this wasn't killing me. That I could walk away if I had to. That I wasn't fucking terrified of losing her. Of becoming him. Of everything.

I groaned, fingers raking through my hair, pulling, needing the pain. My hands were shaking again. Or maybe they never stopped. I couldn't tell anymore.

"You're angry," she said.

"No shit. What gave it away?" I scrubbed my hands over my face. "You showing up here after I specifically fucking told you not to? Or me nearly rearranging Zenin's face again?"

"Satoru—"

"Don't." I squeezed my eyes shut, fingers yanking at my hair again, trembling worse now. From the drugs, the rage, the fear, who the fuck knew. It all bled together these days. "You have no idea what he'd do. If something happened—" I stopped. Couldn’t continue.

"I'm not alone," she said, like that made a difference. "Maki, Yuta, Toge—they're all with me. We're being careful."

"Careful?" I sat upright, forcing myself to meet her gaze. "There's nothing fucking careful about this! It's reckless! You shouldn't even be—"

"I'm doing this for you—"

"Don't." I cut her off. "Don't make this about me."

"But it is!" She stepped closer, eyes blazing. "What, you expect me to just stand by and watch? While you fall apart?"

"This isn't your problem to fix—"

"Like hell it isn't!" Another step. Her eyes seared into mine. "I can't fucking take it anymore. You're in this mess because of me. Because you protected me that night. So don't you dare tell me this isn't my problem to fix."

I stared at her, something in my chest fracturing. "You think that's why I'm doing this? Because I feel obligated?"

"I think you're trying to protect me, like you always do."

"Then don't make me protect you all the goddamn time!" I shoved up from the chair and braced my hands on the desk. "I beat him within an inch of his life that night. I would've killed him if—" My throat closed around the words. "And I'd do it again. In a fucking heartbeat. That's what scares the shit out of me. What I become when it comes to you."

She went still.

"And if he hurt you again," the words scraped out of me, "I—I don't know what I'd do. So please. Just please don't make me find out."

I said the words I'd been turning over in my head for what felt like eternity. Don't make me find out, don't put yourself in danger, don't break my fucking heart. Which really meant break me all you want, just don't leave. I wouldn't survive it.

Her gaze dropped briefly to my hands, and she said, "You done?" 

Her question threw me. Done? God, this infuriating woman. But then I followed her line of sight and saw my hands clenched into white-knuckled fists around the desk’s edge. I slowly released them, my knuckles cracking in the sudden stillness.

I slumped back into the chair, exhausted, defeated, throwing an arm over my eyes. "God, I fucking hate you." The way she stood there, unflinching, unafraid—it made me insane. "I hate that you make me feel like this—so fucking terrified all the time."

"You don't hate me," she said.

"Sometimes I'm not so sure anymore," I answered.

How does it never get easier, I wondered. Loving her. Needing her. It just cuts deeper, spreads further, until I'm drowning in the ache. Until I can't breathe without feeling it in my lungs. And yeah, I hate her for that sometimes.

I couldn't look at her. I knew she'd be there, unyielding, waiting, enduring everything I threw at her, as she always did. Never breaking. Maybe that's what I hated most.

"You're so fucking stupid," I breathed, but it came out wrong. Too soft. Too much like 'I love you'. Too much like 'Please don't leave.' 

"I think that's mutual." She crossed the room then and leaned against the desk, arms folded over her chest. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

I lowered my arm and looked at her. "No, you're not."

"I am sorry for worrying you," she tried again, and I almost believed her, wishing desperately that she'd never have to worry about anything the way I worry about her. "Go ahead, say it. Tell me how stupid I was to come here. I know you're dying to."

"Why would you think that?"

She kept her eyes fixed on the floor. "Because it's true. I make the wrong choice every fucking time."

I watched her, this brilliant, stubborn woman that I love so much, beating herself up over choices that weren't really choices at all—just impossible situations with no right answers. Like there was ever a right answer. And sometimes she reminded me so much of myself. As if I hadn't spent years doing the same thing, and probably still do.

But seeing her do it—it was like staring into a mirror and seeing not just my reflection, but the reflection of everything I hated about myself.

"I think that's mutual," I echoed her words back to her.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed up from the chair, gripping the edge of the desk for a second. Then I reached for her, hands landing on her hips, tugging her close, needing her close. My lips ghosted over hers. Hesitant. Unsure. When she didn't pull away, I kissed her. My hand came up to cradle her face, thumb skimming her cheekbone as I deepened the kiss.

"Alright, what's the plan?" I murmured against her mouth.

She told me about the locked room upstairs and her plan to get it. So calm. She told it so calm. Like it was that simple. Like this wasn't the most insane thing I'd ever heard. But I knew she'd go through with it no matter what I said.

"You seriously think I'm gonna let you anywhere near him with alcohol involved?"

"No," she said. "I think you're going to help me."

"Times like this, I'm really feeling that age difference between us," I said, but we both heard the resignation in my voice. The moment I'd already lost this fight.

"So you'll help?" she asked, ignoring my comment.

Before she could celebrate her victory, I yanked her closer, fingers twisting in her hair. With a sharp tug, I forced her head back until she had no choice but to meet my gaze, her throat bared. Our eyes locked, and I saw the instant her breath hitched.

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

"When we get home, you're gonna make it up to me for all the stress you've caused. Got it?"

"Is that really how you want to play this?"

"Oh, love, I think we're way past propriety at this point."

A shiver ran through her — one that made me almost smile. I could feel her pulse racing beneath my fingertips, could feel the way she melted into me despite herself. It almost made this whole mess worth it.

"Now then." I pulled back just far enough to look her in the eye. "let's have some fun, shall we?"

─── ·✧· ───

So, here's the fun story about how I ended up playing beer pong with my arch-nemesis (besides Sukuna, that is) against my future lovely wife and some chemistry nerd who wouldn't shut up about covalent bonds. Not exactly the Saturday night I had in mind.

I mean, here I was, standing next to Naoya — yeah, the same guy whose face I'd rearranged a few months back — trying to aim at red plastic cups while you were absolutely wiping the floor with us. Turns out that whole '10 years of grief training in alcoholism over your dead father' wasn't just a cute phrase you threw around. Who would've thought?

But really, trying to out-drink an opioid addict? That's like challenging a fish to a swimming contest. Except the fish is in heavy withdrawal. So like, with no fin. Not my finest analogy. I blame the alcohol. What was my point again?

Anyway. Most annoying part? This chemistry department kid with these wide, bright eyes wouldn't stop talking to you about molecular structures. And you were actually entertaining him. At a party. About electron transfers. Of all the insufferable things.

"So if you consider the aromatic compounds—" he was saying, and I swear on my medical license, I didn't mean for the ball to hit him. And I definitely didn't mean for it to hit him that hard. Pure accident, really. 

The ball bounced off his shoulder, effectively shutting him up. They both turned to look at me. "Molecular restructuring in organic compounds? Really?" I shrugged. "At a party?"

She shot me that look. You know the one. The classic 'I-can't-believe-I'm-sleeping-with-this-idiot' glare. It's become quite familiar these days.

"Trouble in paradise?" Naoya said beside me, and I briefly considered rearranging his face again. For symmetry's sake, of course.

But then she bent over to pick up the ball, and suddenly organic chemistry was the furthest thing from my mind. I definitely shouldn't have let her leave the house in that skirt. Though knowing her, she probably wore it just to torture me. 

"Getting distracted, Professor?" she said, straightening up with that little smile that never fails to make me want to do wildly inappropriate things to her in very public places. She leaned across the table, deliberately tapping one of our cups with her finger, giving me her most innocent eyes. Because apparently, driving me insane was her new favorite pastime.

"Me?" I lifted the red cup she'd tapped to my lips, taking my sweet time with the drink, my eyes never leaving hers. "Never."

And somewhere in the haze of beer and the way she was looking at me, I tried to remember why the hell we were even here. Oh right—something about stealing keys. Real professional operation we've got going here. The medical board would be so proud. Their star surgeon, reduced to playing beer pong as a distraction tactic. 

Naoya's keys were right there on the table, practically screaming to be grabbed. But between her legs in that skirt and the way she kept biting her lip every time she lined up a shot, I found myself giving fewer and fewer shits about saving my career and more about how quickly I could get her alone. Priorities. I clearly had them. Alcohol might have scrambled them a bit, I guess.

I caught a glimpse of Suguru standing off to the side of the beer pong table. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes darting back and forth between me and her like he was watching the world's most stressful tennis match. I really owed him one for putting up with this shit.

Near the chemistry kid, a girl approached who looked a bit like Higurama's intern—though I wasn't entirely sure. She looked different, wearing makeup and dressed up. But that couldn't be her. She'd avoid places with flashing lights because of her epilepsy. I must be seeing things.

Then Naoya, because clearly this shitshow wasn't enough of a disaster already, decided to "level up the process." He snapped his fingers at a passing bartender, and before I could process what the fuck was happening, there was a tray of perfectly lined up tequila shots on the table. Complete with cinnamon and orange slices, because apparently, we're keeping it classy while trying to get my future wife drunk.

"New rule," Naoya announced, his scarred face pulling into what I can only assume was meant to be a grin. "Next shot I sink, you drink both. Beer and tequila."

I glanced over at her, my gut churning. Not from the alcohol—it'd take a hell of a lot more than this to get me there—but from the way she met Naoya's challenge with a nod. That stubborn tilt of her chin that always meant trouble. My palms started to sweat.

Of course, Naoya's ball dropped perfectly into her cup. Because the universe really does have a sick sense of humor.

Watching her reach for both drinks, I found myself wondering what the medical board would be more pissed about — me playing drinking games with students, screwing one of my students, or the fact that I was seriously considering murder. Again.

Then, by some physics-defying miracle or sheer dumb luck, the chemistry kid actually landed a shot. He looked as shocked as the rest of us when the ball plopped into Naoya's cup. But it was her next shot that really got my attention — perfect arc, clean landing, like she'd been doing this her whole damn life.

"Drink up, Professor," she said, but there was something different in her voice.

She reached for the tequila, and then—fuck me—propped one leg up on a nearby beer crate, the motion making her skirt ride up just enough to flash a strip of skin above her tights. Wait. Those weren't tights. Those were fucking stockings.

My brain short-circuited as I realized she'd been walking around all night in stockings. Actual stockings, with what I knew had to be a garter belt hidden under that criminally short skirt. The same spot where she was now deliberately sprinkling cinnamon.

The sight of that exposed sliver of skin between stocking and skirt made my blood boil. When the hell had she even bought those? Had she worn them just for tonight, knowing they'd make me lose my goddamn mind? Was she trying to get herself killed?

Because right now, watching her purposely dust cinnamon on that band of exposed skin, I wasn't sure if I wanted to murder her or fuck her. Probably both. My mouth went dry, and it had fuck-all to do with the alcohol.

"Well?" She tilted her head, all innocence except for that knowing look in her eyes. "Coming to get your tequila?" 

Like she had to ask twice. Yet I hesitated. With all these people watching? What was she playing at? It was reckless, careless, like she was deliberately trying to expose us. It was power play, a challenge. And I knew, that she knew, that I couldn't resist.

A slow smile spread across my face as I sank to one knee before her, the crowd fading into a blur of noise. All that mattered was her—the way her breath hitched as I gripped her calf, the way she tensed as she realized that I made a whole show for her (poor girl didn’t expect that now, did she?)—the feel of her skin on my tongue.

I took my sweet time with the cinnamon, letting my tongue glide over the exposed strip of flesh, feeling her shiver. My teeth grazed her skin, just enough to draw a soft gasp from her lips. If she wanted a show, I'd give her a show. And part of me wanted to shove that skirt higher, to chase that taste of salt and cinnamon further up her thigh until—

Focus. Fucking focus.

I straightened, stepping into her space. She held an orange slice in one hand, the shot glass in the other, and I couldn't help but notice how her pupils had blown wide, how her chest rose and fell just a little faster than normal.

I plucked the orange from her fingers with my teeth, my lips brushing her skin, then took the shot glass, using the movement to press closer, my mouth right by her ear, "What exactly is your plan here?"

"Create distraction," she breathed back.

God help me, but it was working. I was definitely distracted. Whole damn crowd was distracted. And watching her play this game—watching her play me—was probably the hottest and most infuriating thing I'd ever experienced. And I'm pretty sure everyone could see I was hard too.

"You're distracting the wrong audience," I whispered before knocking back the shot.

In the midst of trying to control my homicidal urges over those goddamn stockings, she caught my eye and subtly jerked her head. I turned, making it look like I was just checking something, and spotted them—Zenin, Okkotsu, and Inumaki hovering on the other side of the table behind Naoya, waiting for their chance. 

Right. The keys. The whole reason we were here. I almost forgot.

The game continued, the tension building with each shot. We were down to the last round — winner takes all. That's when she decided to really test my patience.

"Let's make this more interesting," she announced, her voice carrying over the crowd. "Losers jump in the pool." A pause, then because apparently she was hell-bent on giving me a coronary. "No clothes."

"You wouldn’t dare," Naoya scoffed.

"Try me," she replied. 

I shot her a warning look. She subtly chewed on her bottom lip, meeting my gaze with an unnerving calm, perhaps her way of saying everything's gonna be okay. It did little to ease the knot in my stomach.

One shot left. If she made this, Naoya and I would be stripping down for a midnight dip. If she missed—

I tried not to think about her in that pool. Tried not to think about those stockings getting soaked. Tried not to think about murdering every sorry bastard who might lay eyes on her. Either way, this woman was going to be the death of me. If I didn't kill her first.

Naoya landed his shot, fucking prick. I missed mine for obvious reasons. Chemistry kid missed too, leaving everything on her shoulders. The ball left her hand, arcing through the air in what felt like slow motion. It circled the rim, then rolled away.

The crowd went wild. Naoya's victory smirk made me want to punch his face in. I glanced over at her, wondering for a second if she'd missed on purpose. But there was no time for that.

"Well?" Naoya's voice. "I believe the losers owe us a show."

"The game wasn't exactly fair—" I started, but she cut me off.

"Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, Naoya?" She turned to him, her words sharp. "To see me undress without having to drug me first?"

The crowd went dead silent. Naoya's scarred face contorted into something ugly. "Watch your mouth, little girl. You're not as untouchable as you think."

"And you're pathetic," she spat back, then turned away from him. "At least I get to choose when I undress, right?”

She started walking toward the pool, each step deliberate, commanding. I followed, caught between pride and sheer terror at what she was about to do. At the edge, she turned back to me.

"Don't," I pleaded, but she was already reaching for the hem of her skirt. It fell, revealing the dark lace of her stockings. Then her top followed, and I stepped closer, trying to shield her from the leering eyes.

"This is insane." But my protest died as she stood there in only black lace, and then I saw them—the bruises from the fire still painted across her waist and ribs. Dark purple and yellow marks that hadn't yet faded, cruel reminder of how close I'd come to losing her.

The sight sobered me instantly. Something twisted in my chest, sharp and painful. The bruises I'd carefully tended to, the ones that still made her wince when I changed her bandages—on full display for this crowd of drunk idiots, turned into a spectacle.

"Please," I begged, my voice barely audible. "Don't do this."

She met my gaze, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I’d reached her. But then that smile—the one that sealed my fate—touched her lips. "Sorry, Professor," she whispered, and then she was gone, falling backward into the pool, taking a piece of me with her.

The splash echoed in my ears like a gunshot, and I was already shrugging off my jacket, ready to either dive in after her or use it to cover her when she surfaced. A cold, hard fury settled in my gut. Naoya was going to pay for this.

The crowd roared as she surfaced, her hair plastered to her face, water tracing the curves of her body beneath the soaked lace. Our eyes met across the distance, me standing at the pool's edge, and I didn’t bother to hide my disappointment. Something flickered across her face—regret maybe, or shame—before she looked away.

Hell broke loose. Bodies crashed into the water, sending waves across the pool. Even Naoya stripped off his shirt and dove in, reveling in the attention. The whole party seemed to shift to the pool in a matter of seconds — clothes flying, drinks splashing, the pristine water turning into a churning mess. 

Perfect distraction.

But I barely registered any of it, my world had narrowed to her. I watched as she climbed out, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the concrete, practically sprinting past me, her gaze fixed on the floor, while water dripped from her hair, her skin, the dark lace clinging to her form.

Behind her, the pool had turned into chaos — exactly what she'd planned, I realized. 

I gathered her clothes from where they'd fallen and followed her inside. I caught a glimpse of Okkotsu's quick movements near the discarded clothes by the pool. 

Well played.

─── ·✧· ───

Her dripping form drew curious eyes as we moved through the foyer. Each step felt like a penance—hers for the recklessness, mine for letting it happen. Heads turned, conversations died, the sudden silence punctuated only by the soft drip, drip, drip of water from her hair.

Kento’s face flashed past, but I barely registered him. No doubt he'd give me shit about it at the university later, like he didn't already know something was up with me and her.

I wrapped my jacket around her shivering shoulders, fighting the desperate urge to reach for the opioids hidden in my pocket. Withdrawal, guilt, and fury burned together in my veins, making me want to crawl out of my own skin. 

I stepped in front of her, partly to block all those eyes on her, partly to hide how bad my hands were shaking. None of it was worth it. Not the keys, not avoiding my parents, none of it. How did we end up here? How did I allow things to get to this point?

Upstairs, she dressed quickly, water still dripping from her hair, leaving damp patches on her clothes.

"Are you cold?" 

"I'm okay," she said, avoiding my gaze. 

She was shaking. I could see the goosebumps on her arms. "You're shivering," I said and reached for her, but she pulled away.

“I’m fine, really.”

Despite her words, I pulled her close. She didn't resist this time, tilting her face up to mine. Her eyes were bright, and for a second, I thought she might cry. The world could have been watching, for all I cared. If those tears fell, it would be my undoing.

And then I thought of everything she'd done, everything she'd had to do—for me. My twenty-four-year-old student, forced to protect me from my own damn parents, to beg for my own money. Because I’d hit a guy who tried to hurt her. Why was it all so fucked up?

The high was long gone, leaving this gaping hole. My limbs felt heavy, detached, like they belonged to a stranger, unable to reach out and fix what I’d broken. And we were so far from where we started.

"You're disappointed," she finally said. She wasn't asking.

"We should leave." Because I couldn't bear to watch her sacrifice one more piece of herself for me.

"You can leave."

Before I could say anything back, Zenin came bursting into our corner, Okkotsu and Inumaki right behind her, her eyes all lit up. "That was fucking insane!" she yelled, waving something around—Naoya's keys. "But it worked! I can't believe it actually—" She stopped short, finally noticing the tension between us.

The win felt empty. Yeah, we got what we came for. But what did it cost? Looking at her, still shivering a little in my jacket, I wasn't so sure it was worth it. I was supposed to protect her. Instead, I just kept watching her throw herself in the fire for me. 

Some professor I was. Some man I was.

Strange how winning can feel so much like losing, especially when you realize you're not the one paying the price.

─── ·✧· ───

I stayed outside Naoya's room, playing lookout. At least that's what I told them. Truth was, I couldn't stand being in there, couldn't bear being near her, watching her fight my battles while I was barely holding myself together.

The itch under my skin had spread, making my whole body crawl with invisible insects while she did the dirty work. Even after everything, she was still trying to save me. 

And I was still letting her.

I slid down the wall, my head hitting the floor. How did we end up here? What the fuck were we doing? What the fuck was I doing?

I'm thirty-five years old, for fuck's sake. Why was I acting like a goddamn teenager? I should've stopped her, shouldn't have let her leave the house to begin with, should've been the adult. But instead, I let it happen, standing by and watching where it led. Again.

This whole situation was insane. We were in too deep, and I knew it. But I couldn't seem to find my way out, couldn't seem to stop this trainwreck we were on. It was like I was watching it all happen from outside my own body, powerless to change course.

What kind of man was I? What kind of professor? I was supposed to be her mentor, her… something more. Instead, I was dragging her down with me.

I thought back to that night, the one that started it all. The night I found her in the lab, working late, hunched over her microscope. She looked up at me with those eyes, those damn eyes that seemed to see right through me. And I was lost. I knew it was wrong. I knew I should have walked away. But I didn't. I couldn't. Drawn in. Consumed.

And now, here we were. Trapped in this fucked-up situation of our own making. I wanted to blame her, to say it was all her fault for being so reckless, so damn stubborn. But I knew that wasn't true. I let this happen. I didn’t stop it. But why? 

I could replay the events in my mind, frame by frame, but the crucial moment, the point where I should have intervened, remained a blur. It was as if some part of me had wanted to see where this ended.

Music still drifted up from downstairs, the bass thumping through the walls. It felt wrong, out of place. Like we were in a different world, a fucked-up one, while everyone else was living their normal, happy lives.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it all out, trying to pretend, just for a moment, that this wasn't happening. That we weren't here. That everything was okay. But it was happening. And I was in it, and I knew I couldn't hold my breath much longer.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking. Kept seeing things in the corners of my vision. Shadows that shouldn't move but did, faces that weren't faces at all. The wallpaper breathed. In and out. In and out. Like a lung.

Stop it. Just stop all of it. Make it stop. But it won't stop, can't stop, because she's in there right now, digging through his things, trying to save me save me save me why won't she just stop trying to save me?

Everything felt wrong, sick, twisted. Too bright and too dark all at once. My skin didn't fit right anymore. Nothing fit right anymore. God, I needed a goddamn fix.

A cough. I pressed my hand against my mouth. When I pulled it away, my palm was red. 

Huh. That's new. 

I stared at the blood, watching it pool in the lines of my hand. It looked wrong somehow, too dark, too thick. The longer I stared, the more it seemed to move strangely, crawling along the creases of my palm.

Was blood supposed to move like that? Like it was alive? Like it was trying to tell me something? I couldn't remember anymore. I couldn't remember a lot of things lately. The blood kept moving, kept spreading. 

Maybe this was it—maybe I was finally losing whatever scraps of sanity I had left, sitting here on a dirty floor watching my own blood drip down my palm.

A part of me wondered if he'd been right all along, that I was becoming him, the very thing I’d always feared. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be better, different. Not this—huddled on a filthy floor at a college party, watching my blood move as if in psychosis, while she risked everything for me. Again. 

The door handle turned. Shit. I wiped my palm against the dark carpet, smearing the blood into the fibers where it vanished like it was never there. I scrambled to my feet just as they emerged. She moved quickly, shoving something beneath the waistband of her skirt. Before I could speak, she grabbed my arm.

"Let's leave." There was something like panic in her voice. "I'll tell you outside."

I gripped her hand, my own pulse quickening, and we went downstairs and pushed through the mass of drunk students. But then the music cut abruptly, plunging us into a moment of strange silence before panicked voices filled the void. 

"What the hell—?" Okkotsu’s shout cut through the din from behind us.

Then I saw the flashing lights—red and blue strobing through the windows. Fuck. 

"Cops!" Someone shouted, and the whole house erupted into chaos as people scrambled in every direction.

"Everyone freeze!" A voice boomed through the foyer. "Nobody moves!"

We reached the entrance as two officers shouldered their way through the front door. The bigger one looked like he benched trucks for fun, taking up almost the entire doorframe as he planted himself there.

"Listen up!" he bellowed, one meaty hand resting on his belt. "Party's over. Nobody leaves until we check IDs."

Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

I felt her tense beside me, those things hidden in her waistband might as well have been burning her skin. I could practically feel her panic.

"Look, officers." I stepped forward, forcing my voice into something professional. "There seems to be some confusion—"

"No confusion here," Truck-Bencher cut me off, the scar on his lip twisting as he frowned. "Got noise complaints, reports of underage drinking. Everyone stays put."

"I'm faculty at the university. These are my students and they're all over twenty-one. You're wasting everyone's time—"

"Nobody leaves until we say so."

"You really want to process IDs for over two hundred students?"

"You telling me how to do my job?" He shifted closer, chest puffed out despite me having two inches on him.

Withdrawal crawled beneath my skin like insects, each bite feeding the rage that built vertebra by vertebra up my spine. "Depends. Are you actually doing it, or just power tripping?"

"Back the fuck up." His hand dropped to his belt. "Last chance."

I felt her fingers digging into my arm, trying to pull me back. But the rage was a living thing now, burning away anything resembling sense or restraint. "Or what?"

The punch came fast. I dropped, and heard the sickening crack of bone against flesh—not mine. Some poor student next to me. For a heartbeat, everything stopped. Then chaos.

Bodies everywhere. Screaming. Shoving. Radio static cutting through the roar. Her hand in mine as we pushed through the surge. Her friends somewhere behind. Everything blurred. I can't remember when she let go of my hand.

I just remember the scream. Different from the others. Then her voice, "Get her on the ground!" I shoved through the mass of bodies. Saw the girl on the floor. Ice flooded my veins.

I knew that face. Higurama's intern. My patient. My responsibility.

I dropped beside her, my hands shaking so violently I could barely feel them. Her eyes rolled back. Withdrawal made everything too sharp, too bright. I couldn't think. Couldn't—

Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. It was her voice. Fingers gripped my arm. "Satoru, look at me." I met her eyes. Steady. Unnerving. "Focus."

Everything snapped back into place. My phone was in my hand before I realized I'd moved. "This is Dr. Gojo from Jujutsu Medical. Twenty-six-year-old female, epileptic, pre-seizure presentation. We need immediate assistance."

My voice was mechanical, professional. Inside, my mind screamed. Why was she here? Had she been drinking? Were her meds interacting with something? I should know this. Should be better than this. Should be fucking better. 

Nausea rose in my throat and I'd never felt more like a failure in my entire fucking life.

Behind us, the fight continued to rage. A man’s voice bellowed, trying to restore order. Then Suguru was there, kneeling beside her, his hands gentle as he cradled her head. He murmured something, soft and low. The tenderness in his movements caught me off guard. 

"The ambulance is taking too long." His voice cut through everything. Before I could process it, he had her in his arms, head protected against his chest and moved.

─── ·✧· ───

I can't remember how we got to the hospital.

Everything blurred into fragments. Flashing lights, squealing tires, the weight of everything crushing my chest. Each breath scraped like broken glass. My hands wouldn't stop shaking until I swallowed three pills. Maybe four. I lost count.

The fluorescent lights overhead were too bright, too harsh, making my skull feel like it was splitting open. I wanted to crack my head against the wall.

Some part of me was still moving, still speaking in that detached doctor voice — rattling off medical history, medications, possible interactions. Years of training overriding the screaming in my head. But they never trained us for this.

Never trained us for how guilt tastes like acid in your throat while watching your mistakes breathe shallowly on starched white sheets.

They taught us to make clean incisions, to suture arteries, to restart hearts. But not how your own heart would seize when you recognize the face on the floor. Not how your girlfriend’s hands would be steadier than your own worthless trembling ones as you fumbled for your phone, your throat closing around the words "this is my fault", "please" and "I'm sorry."

Didn’t prepare us for withdrawal turning your hands into treacherous strangers while someone seized at your feet. For the shame that festers in your gut as you come down, struggling to remember basic fucking dosages through the need scorching through your veins.

They never warned us how love would carve you open worse than any scalpel, making you both butcher and victim, instrument and incision. Never warned us about loving someone while you’re falling apart. How it feels like drowning in open air, your chest cracked wide and your beating heart wrenched out into daylight, desperate and terrified and somehow still pumping, still fighting, still so fucking afraid.

Higurama's intern lay still now, the steady drip of the IV marking time like a metronome in the silence. I watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, my mind replaying the medications, the dosages, searching for the mistake I must have made. There had to be one. There was always one.

Perhaps he was right about me after all. Funny how even now, even here, I could still hear his voice so clearly.

"You okay?"

She sat across from me, swallowed by my spare clothes—an old t-shirt and sweatpants that draped loosely on her frame, a blanket draped over her legs. Anything was better than those clothes from before, those fucking stockings I'd personally thrown in the trash.

"Satoru?" she tried again. "You okay?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer.

"Talk me through her meds again," she said, resting her head in her palm. Her eyes, piercing and unwavering, never left my face as she waited.

I rubbed my temples, trying to focus through the exhaustion. "Standard anticonvulsants. Levetiracetam, 500mg twice daily. Added phenytoin after the first seizure." I fell back into my chair, scrubbing my hand over my face. "She couldn't tolerate the Levetiracetam, so I switched to Topiramate, 500mg thrice daily."

She was quiet for a moment. "Side effects?"

"Minor. Tremor in her extremities sometimes, but nothing she couldn't handle. It was working." I paused. "It was supposed to be working."

"EEG results?"

"Showed mild abnormalities. Nothing that would explain a seizure this severe." I scrubbed at my face again, harder this time. "I should have seen it. Should have caught something."

"Satoru." Her voice held that gentle firmness I knew so well. "You did everything right."

"Then why did she seize?" I stood abruptly, the chair screeching against linoleum. I turned away, unable to bear her gentle gaze. Outside, dawn was breaking in shades of grey. No color, no warmth, just an endless stretch of concrete and clouded sky bleeding into each other. "If I did everything right, why is she lying here?"

"Because sometimes that's just how it goes. You know this better than anyone," she said. "Medicine isn't perfect. Neither are we."

My reflection stared back at me, ghostly and distorted in the glass. Dark circles, stubble, hair a fucking mess. A doctor coming down from a high while his patient lay in a hospital bed.

"I should have increased the dosage earlier. Run more tests. I should have—"

"Seen the future?"

"I should have been better."

"You are already the best," she said, but it felt like a lie to me. "But even the best can't control everything."

Higurama's intern stirred slightly in her sleep, and we both fell silent, the moment stretching taut between us. I dragged myself back to the chair, sinking down with my face in my hands.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she whispered, leaning forward to brush a stray strand of hair from the girl's forehead. "Sometimes life just happens, and all we can do is be there to pick up the pieces."

I wanted to believe her. God, how I wanted to. But the truth sat like stones in my stomach.

"I hate this," I whispered.

"I know."

Silence.

"Do you blame yourself?" she asked quietly.

"How can I not?"

Because it's stupid, you know this. I could feel them in my bones, the words forming on her lips before she could speak them. "How did that ever change anything?" I said before she could start.

She leaned back, the chair creaking slightly. "Do you think we are terrible people?" she asked, her voice so soft I almost missed it.

I turned to look at her then, really look at her. Even exhausted and worried, wearing my old clothes, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Like a drug I couldn't quit, a high I'd chase until it killed me. 

And what did that say about either of us? That I wanted to crack her open, crawl inside her skin and nestle myself in her marrow? Wanted to consume her, devour her, until there was nothing left but the two of us, fused together in the most depraved way possible?

It was as if we were always meant to find each other. But it was a penance, for both of us.

"I think I am what I am because of you," I finally said.

And it was the truth. She'd molded me, shaped me, just as I'd shaped her. We'd ruined each other for anyone else, stripped away the innocence and left only the filth and grit behind.

Her hand fell from her face, her eyes meeting mine. "And I am what I am because of you."

"Does that scare you?"

"I think one gets used to it."

"Yeah," I said finally, my voice rough. "I guess you do get used to it. Until you don't."

She frowned, but before she could voice something, Suguru stepped inside. 

He said we should leave, and maybe that was for the better anyway, though I couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was an edge to his voice. Anger, perhaps. But I couldn't blame him. Not really.

I grabbed her things, my hand finding its familiar place at the small of her back as we headed for the door. Suguru's voice followed us down the corridor. "What did you find in Zenin's room anyway?" he asked, as if it were something to be discussed in the doorway.

I walked ahead.

I didn't need to hear again about the unconscious women on the Polaroids. 

─── ·✧· ───

Too quiet.

He was never this quiet.

"How bad is it?" I asked, perched on the edge of the exam bed where the paper sheet betrayed every nervous shift of my weight with stupid crinkles. Pale morning light filtered through the blinds, casting thin stripes across the linoleum floor.

I'd coughed up blood again earlier this morning. More than last night. The metallic taste had filled my mouth before I even opened my eyes. I'd stumbled to the bathroom, careful not to wake her—she needed the rest after we spent the whole damn night at the police station.

I stared at the red running down the drain. Way more than there should be. I'd blamed it on stress and alcohol last time. But now? It meant my liver was probably failing faster than I'd thought. Coagulation system breaking down, blood vessels becoming fragile. Textbook end-stage.

I called him then. He was still at the hospital, had slept there while looking after Higurama's intern. His face had gone pale when he saw me walk in. Guess I looked as bad as I felt.

We ran tests. All of them. Blood work, chest X-rays, the works. And now here we are. I watched him reading what I assumed was my death sentence, waiting for him to finally look up, while the clock on the wall ticked away the seconds.

But he kept his eyes fixed on the test results, holding himself with the careful rigidity of someone handling explosives. Another bad sign.

"Suguru."

He exhaled slowly, finally meeting my gaze with eyes that said everything before his mouth could form the words. "You should have started treatment sooner. We talked about this months ago."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I tried to wave off his concern. "What do the results say?"

His fingers tightened on the papers until the corners creased. "Your liver enzymes are through the roof. AST over 1000, ALT even higher. Bilirubin's climbing while albumin's dropping. Your PT/INR values—" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Your liver is failing, Satoru. Not just damaged anymore—failing."

I let the clinical terms wash over me. The doctor in me understood the implications perfectly. The addict in me wanted to laugh at the irony.

"Well," I said, forcing lightness into my tone, "guess I should have listened to you sooner, huh?"

Suguru's expression hardened. "This isn't a joke. Without immediate intervention—" He caught himself, but I could read the rest in his eyes as clearly as any lab report.

Without immediate intervention, I was dying. Fitting, really. That my body would choose to betray me just when I'd finally found something worth living for.

"How's the withdrawal going?" Suguru asked, setting down the test results.

"Managing." I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ignore how even that simple movement felt like too much effort. "Reduced the hydromorphone gradually. Down to about 5mg now."

"Satoru." His voice carried that familiar note of frustration, the one I'd heard a thousand times before. "You need to stop completely. Not reduce—stop. Your liver can't handle any more strain."

"I'm trying," I snapped, then immediately regretted the harshness. "Sorry. I know you're trying to help."

Suguru pulled up a chair, sitting down with a heavy sigh. "We need to start treatment immediately. The protocol won't be pleasant—high-dose corticosteroids, immunosuppressants, possibly plasmapheresis if things get worse."

"Sounds fun."

"It'll be brutal," he continued, ignoring my sarcasm. "The side effects alone—you'll need to be monitored constantly. Multiple blood draws daily, frequent imaging. And absolutely no narcotics—your liver won't survive it."

I absorbed this, the clinical reality of what lay ahead settling into my bones. "So basically, I get to feel like shit while you stick me with needles and watch me suffer."

"That's about right. But it's either that or start planning your funeral."

"At least you're honest." I attempted a smile that felt more like a grimace. "When do we start?"

"Tomorrow morning. I'll admit you tonight, get you set up in a private room," Suguru said, already reaching for admission forms.

"Monday morning."

He looked up sharply. "What?"

"I have a family dinner on Sunday," I shrugged. "Can't skip it."

"Are you insane?" Suguru's voice rose to fill the small room. "Your liver is failing, Satoru. This isn't something you can postpone for a damn dinner party."

"Monday morning," I repeated firmly. "I gave my word I'd be there."

"Your word won't mean much if you're dead."

"I can manage two more days."

"No, you can't." Suguru slammed the test results down with enough force to make me flinch. Since when is he always so fucking tense? "Your numbers are critical. Every hour we delay treatment increases the risk of complete liver failure."

"Monday."

"For fuck's sake, Satoru—"

"I said Monday. I need to do this, Suguru. Please."

He stared at me for a long moment, jaw clenched so tight I could hear his teeth grinding. Finally, his shoulders slumped.

"Fine. Monday morning, first thing. But if you show any signs of deterioration—any at all—I'm admitting you immediately. And no alcohol at that dinner. Not a single drop."

"Deal."

"I mean it, Satoru."

"I know," I said, trying to inject some levity into the heavy atmosphere. "You can do all sorts of things to me on Monday. Not like I have much on my schedule anyway."

"So Yaga has exempted you?"

"Temporarily relieved of my teaching duties until further notice." I tried to keep my voice light, but the words still choked me. "Apparently, licking your student's leg in public view isn't considered acceptable behavior. Who knew?"

"Everyone would have known that."

"Most people were too drunk to remember anyway, or too busy dealing with the police raid afterwards to care." I shrugged. "Silver lining?"

"This isn't funny. Do you have any idea how serious this is? Your career—"

"My career?" I almost laughed. "In case you missed the memo, my liver's failing. I think my career concerns just got bumped down the priority list."

Suguru fell silent.

"Besides," I added, "maybe it's for the best. Can't exactly teach while going through treatment, can I?"

"Yaga doesn't know about your condition?"

"No, and he's not going to. As far as he's concerned, I'm just taking some time to... reassess my professional boundaries."

"And when he asks why you're not fighting this?"

I sighed. "Let him think what he wants. I've got bigger problems right now."

"Like a family dinner you're insisting on attending despite being on death's door?"

"Exactly." I flashed him a grin, this one a little more genuine despite everything. "See? You're getting it."

"You're impossible."

"That's why you love me."

"That's why I'm going to enjoy sticking you with needles on Monday."

"Kinky."

His expression sobered, eyes searching my face. "You should tell her."

The mere mention of her sent a knife twisting in my gut. "No."

"Satoru—"

"I said no. She has enough to deal with right now. This stays between us."

Suguru shook his head but didn't argue further. He knew me too well to waste his breath.

"I will," I added softly, more to convince myself than him. "When I'm a bit better."

"This will kill her."

"I know."

Silence.

"I'm sorry," I finally managed. "For being an asshole. For everything. And... thanks for coming to the party with me."

"You already apologized."

"I mean it." I met his gaze. "You've always been there, even when I didn't deserve it."

Something shifted in his expression—a flicker of the friendship we'd shared before everything got so complicated. Before I'd dragged us both into this mess.

"Just don't die on me," he said. "I've invested too much time in keeping your stupid ass alive."

I pushed off the bed, steadying myself against the sudden dizziness that threatened to knock me over. "See you Monday."

"You're a stubborn idiot," he called after me. I didn't disagree. 

I stopped at the door, turning back. "Hey, what's going on between you and Higurama's intern anyway?"

Suguru stiffened slightly. "Nothing. Just concerned since she's my patient now too."

I studied him, noting the subtle tension in his shoulders, the way his gaze shifted slightly left—his tell when he wasn't being entirely truthful.

"Sure," I said, too exhausted to push it further. "See you Monday."

As I walked away, I wondered if he knew how obvious he was. Then again, who was I to judge? I was hardly an expert at handling matters of the heart.

─── ·✧· ───

I paused outside our apartment door, my hand trembling on the handle. Withdrawal clawed through me, a living thing twisting my gut. Each breath was a struggle, my lungs constricting as if they'd forgotten their purpose. Just breathe, idiot. In, out. You're almost there.

Relief flooded through me the moment I opened the door. Her shoes were there, neatly arranged next to my scattered ones. Her coat on the hook. She was home.

Strange how that simple fact could lift the weight crushing my chest, made breathing a fraction less painful. No matter how bad things were, coming home to her felt like breaking the surface after being underwater too long.

Dog bounded up to greet me, tail whipping back and forth, before darting off toward the bedroom. Smart boy knew exactly where to find her. I kicked off my shoes, let my jacket fall where it would, and followed.

She was there, sprawled across our bed in a sea of papers, bathed in the warm light of the bedside lamp. The sight of her stole what little breath I had left. Hair messily pulled back, drowning in one of my old t-shirts, completely lost in whatever she was reading. Beautiful. It was a beauty that made my heart ache.

Without a word, I crawled onto the bed, dragging myself up until I could rest my head on her stomach. I paused, remembering the bruises on her midsection. But before I could pull back, she gently tugged me closer and I surrendered, resting my head against her warmth. 

I wrapped my arms around her waist and her fingers found my hair instantly, like they belonged there, gentle strokes that made my eyes flutter closed and I thought, this was home. This was peace. Even as my body screamed for relief, even as guilt gnawed at me, here with her, I could almost believe everything would be okay.

"What are you reading?" I mumbled against her shirt, already knowing the answer. Why did she still throw herself into this project? Did it even matter anymore? But I already knew that answer too. Distraction.

"Research papers. For our project." Her fingers never stopped their magic. "Everything okay at the hospital?" I wondered for a second how she knew where I went, but then she said, "Antiseptic smell."

Did I always smell like that? Like the harsh, sterile scent of the hospital? I hated it. Hated how it seemed to cling to my skin no matter how many times I scrubbed my hands raw. Hated the way it reminded me of sickness and death.

I hugged her tighter, breathing in her familiar scent as that was so unlike the clinical smell of the hospital as I crafted the lie. Yeah, everything's fine, I told her. Had to check on something with a patient. Normal stuff, nothing to worry about. Standard procedure.

But even as I spoke, the guilt in my stomach twisted. The truth was, I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going like this. I could feel myself slipping, losing my grip on the things that mattered most and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd even make it to the end.

If I'd be there to witness the results of our research, to stand by her side as we perhaps do something great. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the intrusive thoughts, focusing on the feel of her beneath me, the steady rise and fall of her breath.

Her fingers paused momentarily in my hair, and I knew she sensed something off. She always could read me too well. But then she resumed the gentle stroking.

"You'd tell me if something's wrong, right?"

"Of course," I whispered, another lie to add to the growing pile.

I tightened my arms around her waist, as if by holding her close enough, I could somehow make up for my betrayal. As if loving her fiercely enough could somehow balance out the pain I was about to cause her. Monday felt both too far away and not nearly far enough.

Desperate for a distraction, I asked about how it went at the police station. She said it was fine, her friends were with her as they'd needed to clarify their statements, she explained, her fingers still weaving through my hair. Everything had been too hazy right after the party.

She mentioned they needed me to verify my own statement again too. I bit back the urge to say that they'd likely have to come to my hospital bed for that. Instead, I just hummed in response. Whatever it took to make that little shit pay for what he'd done.

"He won't hurt anyone else," she added. "We'll make sure of it."

Something about her struck me as odd. How could she be so unaffected by everything that had happened? Like we didn’t just discover that Zenin Naoya was—

"You're so calm about it." 

"And what would you have me do?"

I didn’t know. Maybe I should be grateful that at least one of us could keep it together. 

I turned my head, pressing a kiss to her palm. I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her, how sorry I was for dragging her into this mess, how I feared the rumors that would follow her through university halls. How fucking terrified I was. How much I loved her. But it all just crowded in my throat, tangled with all the other truths I couldn't voice.

Instead, I just held her tighter. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?"

I didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Or lie again. I clung to her, as if she were the only thing keeping me from falling apart, pressing my face into her stomach, trying to blur myself into her very being. "Satoru,” she winced, a small sound escaping her lips. "You're hurting me."

"Please," I pleaded, tears pricking at my eyes. “Just… bear it for a moment. Please.” But then, a sudden tickle rose in my throat, and I sat up abruptly, he movement sending the room spinning.

"You okay?" she asked, sitting up as well, her hand cradling her side.

"Yeah," I managed, before another cough clawed its way out. I stood, turning away from her, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. When I pulled it away, blood glistened on my palm.

"Satoru? You sure you're okay?"

"Everything's fine." I curled my fingers into a fist, watching red seep between my knuckles. "Just need some water."

I should call him again. Should probably head to the hospital right now. Every logical part of my brain screamed at me to seek help, to stop this madness before it was too late. 

But Sunday's dinner loomed in my mind. One last chance to fix things with her, to make things right before everything inevitably crumbled around us. Just two more days. I just needed to hold on for two more days and then I could let the chips fall where they may.

Even as blood painted the back of my throat red, I clung to that desperate hope, that foolish notion that I could make this right. I knew I was being stupid. Reckless. Playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. 

But then again, what did it matter anyway?

<- prev chapter | next chapter ->

author's note — welcome back, i hope this wasn't too intense, even tho i went through all stages of grief writing this chapter, but i'm quite happy with how it turned out. hope you all survived seeing things through satoru's eyes once more. writing from his perspective is always both challenging and thrilling in some strange way.

quick note, as this is somehow not obvious to some people: i understand that this story deals with controversial topics and might not be everyone’s cup of tea but this is purely fictional work, and i'm just here to enjoy a stupid little hobby. i am not looking for criticism. if the story makes you uncomfortable, feel free to block me and move on.

for those following the spin-off: yes, this chapter runs parallel to remedies and reasons chapter 04 ! if you want to see how certain events played out from a different angle, definitely check out the suguru spin-off.

and i want to thank you all for your incredible support. your comments, messages, and theories continue to blow me away. seeing how deeply you connect with this story and catch all the little details i sprinkle throughout brings me so much joy. your thoughtful analyses and wild speculations make writing this stupid story so much fun !! :''))

also a massive thank you to @/nanamis-baker who beta reads all these chaotic chapters, listens to my rambling about plot points, and talks me down whenever i'm convinced everything i write is terrible <3

& second quick note about the alcohol consumption in this story: while it's serve the narrative of the story, please remember that alcohol is toxic to the body and brain, with no "safe" amount. please be mindful of your health and wellbeing.

next chapter we'll be back to our regular pov as we deal with the aftermath of... well, all of this. until then, take care of yourselves ! and as always, thank you for joining me on this chaotic journey and being patient with my slow updates <3

ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here !

tags — @browrm @panteramarron @starlightanyaaa

@myahfig4 @rosebluod @bloopsstuff @depressedemosantaclaus @nanamis-baker

@tofumiao @shoruio @s3vtrue @rosso-seta @bnha-free-writing

@chiyokoemilia @bonequinhagojo @janbannan @mikkmmmii @yeiena

@coeqi @faustina @glenkiller338 @yenmrtnz @buni-bunnydoll

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.

[ataraxiaspainting]

There’s a Certain Slant of Light.

Yan (Soulmate) Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: Something is different. But what could it be?

Warnings: Yandere themes, the reader is unwillingly a Spider and from Meteor City, mentions of religion/religious imagery, implied drugging, manipulation, and unhealthy relationships.

Word Count: 1k.

i’ve been seeing a lot of chrollo being paired with a phantom troupe member reader and i just think that the concept is very interesting! :D

credits for og art piece here!

*~*~*~*

Your sword, while having the ability to stab and slice just about anything, is still by far the most frail weapon at your disposal. It is a slight sadness that fills Chrollo’s mind, then, once he realizes this. The feeling is small, minuscule, just like most of the other emotions Chrollo’s heart cannot beat with, the blood that flows through his veins frozen with the concept of what he wants to be. He feels next to nothing as if he were a walking corpse, a prisoner who has just been released from the deepest depths of hell, not once being able to see twinkling eyes and shining stars. Light is a concept unknown to people like him, and people like you, foreign, as alien as a coup made of peasants storming a palace larger than ten of their villages combined. 

Your two true weapons are your lips calling out his name, and the thin red string that connects your little finger and your fate to his thumb and his future. Despite the thread being wispier than that of paper, it has a will stronger than one forged in diamonds and never had to be a carbon crystal to be so. Chrollo is thankful for it, more so than he is for most things that he would rather leave in the past. It has linked you two together for so long and has been the key for chaining down your animosity towards him whenever he had gone too far. All he had to do was tug, and you would be right back wherever he had placed you. But even diamonds can shatter when a love made in a less-than-fortunate childhood turns more and more into hate.

This entire act is like a balancing beam. He must not be too loud, but also not be too quiet. He must always have cards up his sleeve for any potential mishaps down the line. Inside one hand is the key to your freedom, but inside the other is the key to a false route to such fantasies, the trap of reality. Even Chrollo does not know which is which, for he is a dreamer himself at heart.

“Good morning, sir,” It is a rare sight, you yawning, your posture nowhere near how put together it usually is. “How are you today, sir?”

“Very well, thank you.”

“I must have been quite exhausted last night; my apologies, sir.”

“I told you if you ever wanted to take a break here, you are more than welcome to.”

“I’ve always declined such an offer for a reason, sir.”

“Just as I’ve always told you that you may call me just Chrollo for a reason, [First]. I think I haven't heard you say my name without an honorific since we were both still children if my memory serves correctly.”

“...”

The provocation of the past seems to hurt you more than him it seems, from how you flinch at the word children, and from how he smiles at your discomfort. 

“We are not with the rest of the Troupe right now, it is quite alright if you want to relive prior times, wouldn’t you say?” He asks, and with his eyes appearing to look back at his books, he sees yours darting around the room, looking for an escape route.

They move left, to the tables at the back of the sitting room which hold lamps and framed photos and paintings. Then right, to the fireplace and the large but still solitary couch, covered with leather and embroideries. Then up, to the crackless and spotless white ceiling, and then down, to the wooden rosewood planks of the floor.

“I saw a book in your satchel. Crime and Punishment, hmm?”

“Yes. Please do not say how ironic it is, sir.”

“Very well.”

To you, perhaps the room feels deathly still. To him, it feels like the scene right before the climax. Slow, steady, full of tension and dread. Though Chrollo will never let the curtains that cover your very soul close ever again. It would not be hard to get them to open up again, you have known each other for so long after all, but regardless he needs you to stay within the palm of his hand forevermore. Only then will he be able to feel something so warm and soft once more.

Oh, how he wishes that he could open the floor below you and trap you there. But he cannot. At least not yet.

“...Where is my bag?” At your question, Chrollo pulls his thumb towards him, and you move accordingly. “It is not in the room.” You continue, your eyebrows furrowing as you attempt to resist. “Sir?”

Desperation. Then a hand raise and a pause.

“Stolen treasure from the last meeting.” Chrollo begins curtly. “A contact list full of people I have not permitted you to speak to. Keys to a car that is not mine.” He proceeds to say. “Tell me, [First], what is all of this, hmm?”

Something akin to a mix of a horrified chuckle and a choking sound emerges from your throat as if his hands were squeezing and squeezing until you burst. He sets the book he was reading down, and without his hands covering both the front and back of it, you see the title, the synopsis.

“Crime and Punishment, hmm?” He repeats, and for the first time in what must be a few years, he sees you terrified, shaking, and near to tears. “A clever way to code your plan.” Chrollo crosses his legs. “By the way, it is an hour or so past sunset by now.” He hears a small gasp from you. “You missed your flight a long time ago, sweet thing.”

“...I… I…”

“You were planning on leaving us, weren’t you?” When you don’t answer, instead looking straight towards the door, he raises his thumb again. “I know you never wanted to join the Troupe, per se, but still… this hurts.” He pulls and pulls, and being forced to be a puppet for the umpteenth time since the soulmate string has appeared in Chrollo’s vision, you are placed where he wants you to be. 

Close to him.

[korva-the-raven]

Raven Lair Treasure

Rescued from storage exile, I present my boxes full of shiney treasures to make your corvid/goblin/gremlin/dragon brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrr...

The boxes.

Well the blue Sun&Moon box is empty, but the box itself is a treasure, and will be filled with shines soon...

The light brown roundish box contains a bunch of treasures that usually reside in a space dedicated to faeries. Some of the treasures will find their way into the Sun&Moon box.

The cigar box with decorative elements is a creation I made for a Steampunk event I participated in; the event was also the inspiration for a character creation andnthe name Korva.

My group created a steampunk themed natural history curio tent, and I also created the character Dr. Korva Tempus; a time traveling, dimention shifting naturalist.

I imagined Dr. Korva Tempus as a cross between naturalist Charles Darwin (but like a badass Chuck D) and Alice from Alice in Wonderland; with some Wizard of Oz vibes thrown in the mix. Steampunk was the first aesthetic I fell into, but I feel like my inner corvid was peeking out through when creating and collecting things for Dr. Tempus.

This piece is ment to be a time traveler's watch/compass, given to Korva by the Queen of Hearts.

I made several pieces that acessorized my LARP as Korva, and had variety of items that worked as props for Korva's character. I attended the Handcar Regatta event 3 years in a row. It was wonderful. But I think what O got most out of it was the chance to make altered art. I still love steampunk, and cyberpunk for that matter, but my home is amongst the creatures ans cryptids.

And last, but not least, the black wooden trunk. My adventure trunk. My treasure trunk. My pride and joy...lol. But seriously, this trunk holds many of my best curios and adventure artifacts. And I promise to make a proper post about the contents of my black trunk.

Thanks for letting me share my treasures. 🖤

[kroashent]

Val-Cula Daily - May 24

Lucy Westenra is an Otome Protagonist. Fight me.

-------------

Once again, we leave Jonathan on his terrible business trip to return to Lucy-chan and her anime harem/Dating Sim.

Doki Doki Kōmori: Love Sucks!

Ep. 3 - Love Confession Triple Threat!

Lucy-Chan has a problem! Every plucky anime heroine longs for the day when sempai finally confesses his love, but what happens when three love interests declare their love on the same day?! Its enough to make a girl anemic and light-headed! Let's return to the sakura blossom filled hallways of Doki Doki Kōmori: Love Sucks!

(Cue Theme song)

Once again, its time to introduce our eligible bachelors!

First is Dr. John Seward, the lunatic-asylum man, with the strong jaw and the good forehead. Seward-Kun is the smartest guy is class, except when it comes to girls like Lucy-chan, and then he falls all over himself! He's so nervous when he meets Lucy-chan that he sits on his own hat! So kawaii! (Lucy turns him down, but he's cool with it.)

----------

It's QUINCY MORRIS TIME!!!!

Dracula is a grim, gothic novel, dripping with somber atmosphere and the dark terrors of the night, a melodramatic tale of woe and angst.

Except it really isn't. It gets wonderfully quirky and weird at times, and no where is that better illustrated than the inexplicable cowboy in the middle of it all. I feel that any adaptation of Dracula that does not include a stereotypical cowboy wandering around Europe dialed up to 11 is failing its potential.

---------------

2nd is the Texan cowboy, Quincy Morris, the class bad boy and a literal Yankee. Quincy-Kun may act tough, but he's got a soft spot for Lucy-Chan. Quincy's "American slang" is about as intelligible as any badly translated Engrish in a 1990s harem anime, leading to this gem:

'Miss Lucy, I know I ain't good enough to regulate the fixin's of your little shoes, but I guess if you wait till you find a man that is you will go join them seven young women with the lamps when you quit. Won't you just hitch up alongside of me and let us go down the long road together, driving in double harness?'

I love Stoker's attempts at American slang. It makes Quincy come across as a nonsense vomiting madman and I love it.

(Lucy also turns him down)

--------------

Next time on Doki Doki Kōmori: Love Sucks! Who is mysterious suitor #3?! It's Arthur. Spoilers. Lucy isn't subtle, even though she doesn't divulge that information quite yet. Arthur is the sensible, boring childhood friend option, the one the anime adaptation of the dating sim focuses on at the expense of the more interesting routes. But there is still the secret route….

[nickgerlich]

Out And About

It’s that time of year again. Sure, Halloween is still 10 days off, but right now, retailers are looking beyond candy and costume sales. It’s time to focus on the holidays. And even with many online deals having hatched weeks ago now, there’s still enough emphasis on the most hallowed of shopping days—Black Friday—to keep it in the mix.

And one company is not having any of it. God bless you, REI, for having the guts several years ago to turn off the lights on the day after Thanksgiving. Better yet, thank you for announcing last year that you were done with Black Friday forever. They’re sticking to their guns, and REI will be closed on what some could argue is still a very big day for making sales.

Thanks to the democratization of hashtag creation, they made their own to commemorate the non-event: #OptOutside. It’s a good one with a lot of PR value. Basically, they’re making a big deal out of being outside, doing the things that their lifestyle-themed store sells.Brilliant.

At the macro level, REI’s move is a generous gift to all of its employees, not just retail clerks, but also office and warehouse. Everyone gets the day off, as well as the day before. They’ll be back at it on Saturday. You can still place your order online—because the internet never sleeps, you know—but it wont’t be fulfilled until Saturday.

There’s a bit of a trend these days in retail, with many—following Walmart’s big lead—closing down for the holiday. If you think you might need some more pumpkin pie filling, you better grab it on Wednesday, because you’ll be out of luck the next day. Gone are the people hanging out inside a Walmart on Thanksgiving evening waiting for the sales to drop at midnight. You’ll have to get up Friday morning like everyone else.

Allowing employees to have family time, or as in REI’s case, outdoor time, is much-needed. We as a society have gone a little too crazy with all this consumerism. It’s just not fun anymore, and for workers to have to clock in when they would much rather be with their family and friends, or in Nature, is a little much. Yeah, there will still be some folks working the holiday (I’m thinking c-stores and truck stops), but we need to start building boundaries around what is sacred.

REI is calling Walmart, and raising the bet. Good on them, because retail will wait. Besides, it’s in their best interests that I use my gear, because it means it will wear out sooner and I will be back for more. I see some new trail runners in my future, and another 10 miles on Black Friday will put me that much closer to a new pair.

The odd thing is that the traditional holiday shopping kick-off is just an artifact of the calendar and when American Thanksgiving falls. If we were in Canada, it would just be the fourth Friday of the month, a day like any other day. They had their Thanksgiving a couple of weeks ago on the second Monday of October. We were busy remembering Christopher Columbus or indigenous peoples. Take your pick.

Bold move, REI. You already had my patronage, but now I feel even better about it. I’ll leave the employees and shoppers at Dick’s, Academy, Scheel’s, and so forth to deal with the pressures of it all. As for me, I’ll be down in Palo Duro Canyon, trying not to think about any of that.

Dr “#OptingOutside” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[kyle-reviews]

Godzilla (1954) Review

You know that classic monster flick with a giant dinosaur-like creature stomping around Tokyo? Yup, that's Godzilla (1954), and boy, does it still hold up after all these years. Directed by Ishirō Honda, this film is the granddaddy of all kaiju movies and is still a cinematic treat that keeps you glued to your seat.

For people who haven't seen it, they might be like, "Oh, that's just an old monster movie," but trust me, it's so much more. Godzilla is not only a thrilling ride filled with action and suspense, but it's also a metaphor for the devastation brought about by nuclear weapons, reflecting the collective anxiety of post-World War II Japan.

Right from the get-go, you can tell that Honda's direction is on point. He uses innovative special effects for the time, like suitmation – a guy in a suit stomping around miniature sets – which was pretty rad back then. And to this day, it has a certain charm to it that CGI just can't replicate.

The haunting score by Akira Ifukube sends chills down your spine, perfectly capturing the impending doom brought on by Godzilla. The sound design adds to the tension as well, with Godzilla's iconic roar being downright terrifying even today.

Honda's approach to storytelling is unique too, as he doesn't just focus on the monster; he delves into the human drama. The characters are fleshed out and have their own arcs. Take Dr. Serizawa (Akihiko Hirata) for instance. He's a brilliant scientist who's torn between using his Oxygen Destroyer to kill Godzilla and keeping it a secret to prevent it from becoming another weapon of mass destruction.

The cinematography by Masao Tamai is nothing short of amazing. The way he captures the destruction and chaos caused by Godzilla is breathtaking. The use of light and shadow adds an eerie atmosphere that keeps you on edge.

And let's not forget the groundbreaking work by Eiji Tsuburaya, the special effects mastermind. His miniature sets are so detailed and intricate that it's hard to believe they're not real. The destruction sequences are both thrilling and heart-wrenching, effectively conveying the film's underlying themes.

So yeah, Godzilla (1954) is not just another monster movie. It's a fantastic piece of cinema that transcends the genre and still holds up to this day. It's got everything – action, suspense, drama, and a thought-provoking message. If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favour and check it out. You won't be disappointed. And for those who've seen it before, it's always worth another watch. Trust me, it just gets better every time.

In spite of it not being everyone's cup of tea, I enjoyed this movie until the end and give it a 7/10 for its old school feel :)

[frauleinandry]

finally finished engage. it was... certainly a game alright. what it did well, it did well, but when it did things badly, it did them badly, and unfortunately, the latter overshadows the former.

tl;dr I’d give it a 6.5/10 overall. the gameplay was solid but had a couple of really irritating aspects that dragged my overall experience down, and the less said about the story, the better.

so, let’s start with the plot, since that’s the worst thing. it’s... bad. very bad. and no, it’s not bad because it’s not a bleak tragedy filled with morally grey characters and interesting ethical conundrums. after three houses (which I love btw), I wanted a stupid, light-hearted game ala awakening. engage’s story also isn’t bad because it was made to be child friendly (although I do find that a dubious decision, given how much the game caters to old-school FE fans, and the typical themes that normally appear in fire emblem games). steven universe is a great example of a show that’s child friendly, yet still tackles some dark content. in fact, while I admit I only watched the first season, she-ra is also a good example of children’s media that handles very similar themes to engage.  

no. engage’s story sucks purely because it’s poorly executed. everything interesting about alear is dropped after like 3 chapters, the pacing is god-awful, none of the lore is utilised to its full potential, the characterisation is all over the place (*cough* zephia *cough*), and the dissonance between the genuinely awful stuff happening (like the near genocide of elusia) and the cartoonish dialogue and characterisation is jarring. for scenes like, say, lumera’s death, the game is trying to make me feel things, but it doesn’t, because there’s absolutely no substance or development behind anything. it’s like IS tried to make a family-friendly story without actually understanding how to do that, and the result is a hot mess.

like. there is a couple of parts that did stand out, such as alear being resurrected as a corrupted, the time travel stuff, sombron’s past, and the way lumera and alear’s adoptive relationship is treated like it’s just as important (if not even more so) than alear’s blood family. most of those elements are completely glossed over though except for the adoptive family stuff (which is one thing I think engage’s story actually gets right). like, sombron’s whole deal with him not caring about elyos because it’s not his homeworld is really interesting! why was it just an off-handed comment in the last chapter instead of a running theme of his character?!

ultimately, I think engage’s story would be significantly better if the game wasn’t trying to be serious. the premise is dumb!! let the game be silly! ditch the war stuff (initially, anyway), and just have it be alear’s goofy misadventures travelling through the kingdoms collecting rings. let ivy and her retainers essentially be team rocket. let the cutscenes be hammy. let lumera be mission control, and actually develop her relationship with amnesiac!alear. then, at around the midpoint of the game, introduce the four hounds, and have them be the knights of cerebus. alear’s almost collected all the rings, but then the hounds take over from ivy (who bore no genuine ill-will towards alear), and lure them into a lethal trap. they take most of the emblems, and lumera sacrifices herself to save the main character. 

*takes a deep breath in* okay, now that that ramble is done with, let’s move on to the characters. they’re... not great, either. most of them are just one trope, and that’s it? sure, fire emblem casts are always going to be a bit tropey, but in engage, 95% of the playable cast has one gimmick which completely defines their every interaction. like, the cast of awakening gets accused of this same thing, but every character also has a bit of something else to them. in engage though, outside of celine, what you see is what you get. like, none of the supports were offensive or anything, and a few were cute/funny, but nearly all of them had no substance. it also really doesn’t help that there’s no paired ending (and ergo no reason to get A-supports), and support grinding in this game is dreadful.

that’s a perfect segway to the next segment - the gameplay. while it’s polished, and there are a lot of things it does really well, it’s got a couple of major flaws which makes engage more of a birthright than it is a conquest. for one, grinding anything, in general, is awful. the game is clearly catered for either iron man runs or for the players to ditch units as they get better ones. while this is subjective, speaking as someone who likes to use all the units they can on a first playthrough to get supports/etc, keeping all my units usable was a pain in the goddamn ass. who on earth thought basing the skirmishes on your highest-level units was a good idea?! the only way to level up weaker units is via the arena, which has very limited uses. the same issues pop up with getting money/supports - since the former requires you to do skirmishes which you can’t complete with your weaker units, it ends up with you getting over levelled (and who wants that?). support points only building from adjacent units was also an awful decision - it was fine in the GBA games when each character could literally only max one support each, but not in a modern title (especially given how bland the cast is - they need all the screentime they can get).

still, outside of that, most of it is pretty good! I was worried the emblems were going to completely destroy the difficulty, but they were balanced perfectly. enough to turn the tides in your favour, but not enough to make everything a cakewalk. emblem ike, lyn, and byleth were probably my MVPS - tanks are a rare luxury in such a player-phase-focused game, and byleth’s utility is just too good. speaking of difficulty, I’ve got to say, this was the first FE game I’ve found genuinely challenging in a while, which is great! i love three houses, but it’s a bit of a cakewalk, especially on a new game plus. engage though consistently kept me on my toes. the map designs were pretty good on the whole too - while they weren’t quite conquest tier, they’re some of the best in the franchise. I admit I still dislike the character art style, but the animations were a huge improvement compared to prior games. the map visuals were neat too - clear, concise, and with none of the murkiness that plagued the 3DS games/three houses.

I do have a couple of other pain points though. I found the somniel infinitely more tedious than the monastery - the rewards are worse, and the way you need to go to it after every map if you want to maximise its potential is a pain in the ass. at least you only really need to visit garreg mach once per month. tbh I think the base camp in three hopes actually did things best - good rewards, a simple layout, and bonus worldbuilding/character stuff that was completely optional. sommie is great though - he’s the best mascot character I’ve seen in a looooooooong time. one of the other dampeners was how player-phase-centric it was. this is purely subjective, but given how many reinforcements appear in this game, I wish there were more than two useful tanks. finally, I think the soundtrack was very generic by fire emblem standards. the music is normally brilliant, but I can’t think of a single song that stuck with me. 

[vanilla-inkwell]

HEY Y’ALL MEGA MAN X5 HAS AN EXCEPTIONAL OST

I know Mega Man’s fandom is quieter than it used to be, and anything past X3 is hella slept on, but HOT DAMN X5′S SOUNDTRACK AIN’T QUIET AND IT DEF WON’T LET YOU SLEEP

THIS SHIT’S A WHOLE-ASS ALBUM OF STELLAR SYNTH-ROCK WITH A LOVELY SOUND-FONT AND THE BEST DAMN BASELINES

(Spike Rosered’s Stage Theme is almost literally ALL baseline, it’s beautiful)

I mean, god, listen to Dynamo’s Theme and tell me that ain’t the sickest, coolest, most vibrant cyberpunk action tune you ever heard

AND THERE’S VARIETY like, most of it goes hard as hell, but then you got Dark Necrobat’s Stage Theme, a gentle, wondrous electric guitar-crooning mixed with (you guessed it) a deep baseline and percussion with a goddamn mission

Tidal Makkoeen’s Stage Theme makes you want to save the oceans your goddamn self, suplex a submarine, and jump headfirst into every unexplored place the earth has to offer

Volt Kraken’s Stage Theme just. fucking. shreds.

I could equally chill or dance to Burn Dinorex’s Stage Theme, and I’m not sure how that’s possible, but by god it is

AND THEN YOU GET TO THE ZERO SPACE I THEME just... magical and foreboding and entrancing and resonant (Zero Space II is a fucking EDM rave distilled into something both manageable and hardcore and it’s also amazing)

BUT THEN THERE’S X VS ZERO, THE PUREST, MOST EMOTIONAL, MOST POWERFUL SYNTH-ROCK TRACK ON THIS WHOLE OST (and I swear I’m not just saying that ‘cause of the context this song plays in in-game)

anyways listen to this OST y’all, it’s on Spotify (by Capcom Sound Team; they recently uploaded a *ton* of full Capcom OSTs); also play Mega Man X5, it’s the best one (except Legends, but that’s a different sub-series)

[bryte-eyed-athena]

Afrofuturism in the work of Janelle Monáe

Ashley Clarke, a curator for the Brooklyn Academy of Music, defined Afrofuturism as “the centering of the international black experience in alternate and imagined realities, whether fiction or documentary; past or present; science fiction or straight drama.”

Themes of Afrofuturism can be found throughout the works of Janelle Monáe. Her previous albums like The ArchAndroid and The Electric Lady showcase this through the exploration of androids as a new “other.” Today I want to talk about one of her most recent projects, Dirty Computer, and the way it contributes to the conversation on Afrofuturism. Janelle Monáe released Dirty Computer as an album and a 48 minute long Emotion Picture to draw her audience into a visual and auditory world of her own making. The dystopian future she presents to us is very similar to our own current reality, except that the voices being amplified are those that have historically been silenced. People of color and the LGBT+ community are central in this story rather than pushed off screen. Dirty Computer is so powerful because it focuses on joyful rebellion, love, and freedom in an oppressive dystopian setting.

The project, as Monáe has shared, can be split into three parts: Reckoning, Celebration, and Reclamation.

Part I: Reckoning

gif credit: scificinema

gif credit: scificinema

The Emotion Picture begins with Monáe’s character Jane 57821 laying out how her society has begun to capture people deemed dirty in order to “clean” them of their supposed filth against their will. This is meant to produce beings that are stripped of all individuality and ready to conform to societal norms and expectations. Jane tells the audience that, “You were dirty if you looked different, you were dirty if you refused to live the way they dictated, you were dirty if you showed any form of opposition at all. And if you were dirty it was only a matter of time.” The dichotomy between dirty and clean has created a system where an entire class of people can be demonized and oppressed. This foreboding tone at the beginning prepares the viewer for the grim implications of the cleaning process in this universe.

Dirty Computers are strapped to a table and forced to undergo the “Nevermind” which is a program that deletes memories. It is a process that is horrifying because of what it symbolizes to the individual and entire communities of people. To erase someone’s memories is to erase who a person is. The character of Mary Apple 53, Jane’s love interest, shows us just how alien a person can become once their memories are gone. The horror of erasure is also something that marginalized communities have faced for centuries and continue to face today.

In an interview on Dirty Computer, Janelle Monáe said “I felt a deeper responsibility to telling my story before it was erased. I think that there’s an erasure - of us, and if we don’t tell our stories they won’t get told. If we don’t show us we won’t get shown.” Afrofuturism is a response to this erasure of black people and people of color in culture, history, and art. Monáe has made a deliberate choice to tell her story even if it might get erased because if she doesn’t do it then no one else will. Remaining silent would be to assist in that erasure and Afrofuturism is all about refusing to be erased.

This first part of the Emotion Picture is all a reckoning with the Dirty Computers and how they are pushed to the margins. The lyrics in Crazy, Classic, Life speak about how the same mistake made by two people on different ends of the spectrum of social acceptability is punished unequally. Take A Byte follows it with a more upbeat tone, but even then the lyric “I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your mama” speaks to a feeling of being outside social norms.

There are moments of light and joy that are counterweights to the dire situation Jane is in. These come in the form of her memories which are played one final time before they are erased. Jane’s life before she was captured was filled with exploration, youth, love and celebration.

Part II: Celebration

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Gif credit: daisyjazzridley

Gif credit: nerd4music

Dirty Computers seem to recognize that they are living on borrowed time and that any day could be the day they are forcefully disappeared. This is why they fill each moment with as much fun, life, color, and joy as they can. There are many scenes at clandestine parties where Dirty Computers live freely and openly despite the threat of drones or police that could capture them at any moment. It is important to have these scenes of celebration though because Afrofuturism is also about providing hope.

The future must be a hopeful one if we are to strive for it and Afrofuturism allows us to be creative in crafting our visions of a hopeful future. Even though Monáe’s future is dystopian, there is still room for hope and joy because those are the things that make life worth living. These Dirty Computers have to live their lives joyfully because they don’t know when they’ll be sterilized.

In the interview mentioned previously, Monáe added that “I had to make a decision with who I was comfortable pissing off and who I wanted to celebrate. And I chose who I wanted to celebrate, and that was the Dirty Computers.” The LGBT+ community, people of color, black women, immigrants, and low income people have all been mentioned as people Monáe wished to celebrate. This celebration comes intertwined with images and themes of rebellion as expressed in Jane’s memories. Screwed, Django Jane, Pynk, Make me Feel, and I Like That are the songs that embody celebration the best. Whether it's a celebration of sexuality, femininity, unity, or of self love it is all encompassed in these songs. Jane is shown connecting with others and being unapologetically proud of herself. We also see her falling in love with two people, Zen and Ché, and we see them love her in return.

Gif credit: thelovelylights

Viewing these memories and interacting with Jane seems to encourage the questioning of authority. The employee utilizing the Nevermind process seems to question why he should be deleting Jane’s memories at all. Mary Apple 53, previously named Zen, also directly questions their matriarch after speaking with Jane and realizing that she’s connected to her. It all culminates in a nonviolent escape attempt where Jane, Zen, and Ché reclaim their names, bodies, and their lives.

Part III: Reclamation

Gif credit: thelovelylights

The Emotion Picture ends with Jane 57821 and Mary Apple 53 freeing themselves, and their recently arrived lover Ché, from the facility. They escape without harming others the way they themselves have been harmed. By leaving they are reclaiming their freedom and their right to be proud of being Dirty Computers. They refuse the new names that were forced upon them and leave to rediscover the memories of the life they lived before capture.

It is a hopeful ending that plays into the themes of Afrofuturism. Even though both Jane and Zen’s memories were erased they still have the ability to create new memories and stories. Their ability to recreate their past as well as create a new future was not taken away. As they escape the song Americans can be heard in the background. The lyrics subvert the typical American patriotism expressed by racist white southerners. The trope of preserving gender roles and being a gun carrying american are satirized in these lyrics. America as a whole is being reclaimed by Janelle as a place for the people who have been marginalized.

Janelle sings “Don’t try to take my country/ I will defend my land/ I’m not crazy baby/ nah I’m American.” This sentiment is typically espoused by xenophobic americans, but when it is sung by Janelle she is saying that she won’t be forced out of America due to the bigoted beliefs of the people who hate her. She also pleads for the listener to love her for who she is which is something that has been denied to black women for centuries. The song ends with a powerful message of reclaiming America by Rev. Dr. Sean McMillan who said “Until Latinos and Latinas don't have to run from walls/ This is not my America/ But I tell you today that the devil is a liar/ Because it's gon' be my America before it's all over.”

This also shows themes of Afrofuturism since Monáe is reclaiming her history and is refusing to be excluded from it. She is asserting her presence and that of all the Dirty Computers by saying that they too have a claim to America. The Emotion Picture and the album are both a masterpiece of Afrofuturism art and music. Monáe masterfully weaves various musical genres and visual storytelling to show her pride in being a black queer woman. There is no other artist like Janelle Monáe, and I am excited to see what new worlds she will take us to next.

[moon-light-jukebox]

“All you have to do is ask” Chapter 4 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: The morning after! How awkward could it be when Reader and Dr. Reid meet in the bullpen the next morning? An honest conversation turns smutty and Reader is starting to rethink some decisions.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Word Count: 3.6k for Chapter 4

Content Warnings: No smut actually happens this chapter, but there is a lot of smutty talk. BDSM themes. Fluff. Tiny bit of angst if you squint.

A/n: This chapter was initially just supposed to be filler, but when I sat down to write it, it became really important to me. The way BDSM dynamics are presented is really important to me, so I wanted to do it justice. The actually femdom kicks off in Chapter 5 😌 (Also, tumblr isn’t letting me tag some people and its slowly driving me insane.)

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized text are Reader’s thoughts.

-- Chapter 4 – “Please don’t lie to me.” --

I wasn’t sure what I expected to happen when I got to work the following morning; my mind spun in circles while the elevator slowly brought me to the floor that housed our elite FBI unit. Try as I might, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from straying to last night.

Spencer had fallen asleep with his head in my lap, my fingers moving softly over his scalp, brushing through his curls. I sat there for longer than I wanted to admit, lost in thought. How did I let this happen? I thought over and over again. Did I break my rules because I knew Spencer? I trusted him with my life; I trusted the entire time with my life, I had to. Perhaps that’s why I let him kiss me, let him touch me. I trusted the good doctor in a way I hadn’t trusted anyone I had been intimate with in a long time.

That must be it. I refused to look at it on a deeper level; I couldn’t. I had to keep my feelings in check. I wouldn’t risk my job, my life, my world over unchecked emotions. Not again.

The metal doors slid open; the bullpen was already buzzing with activity at 7:50 in the morning. I usually arrived earlier, but I had stopped for coffee. I reasoned that it was just a treat for myself; not an excuse to avoid the office coffee station, which we all knew was the domain of Dr. Spencer Reid. I hadn’t received any messages from Garcia or Hotch, leading me to assume today was another day of paperwork.

I tried to stop my eyes from searching for him, but it was no use. He was like a magnet for my senses. Most of us typed up our reports and only wrote when we had to, but most of us were not Dr. Reid. He was hunched over, papers scattered over his desk in some pattern of order only he would understand. His pen scribbled quickly over the pages, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in concentration.

It wasn’t until he glanced up suddenly that I became aware of the world around me; someone had said my name, alerting him to my presence. Looking around, I shot Prentiss a smile, her gaze already on my face. “Hi, Em,” I said in greeting.

Her smile confirmed my suspicions that she was the one who had spoken. “Did you do anything fun last night? You didn’t answer my text.”

Who, me? “Oh, nothing much,” I said brightly, placing my bag at my desk, setting my coffee down. “I just did some stuff around the house. I’m sorry I didn’t see your text.” I hadn’t seen her text until hours after she sent it. I was so wrapped up in that man I didn’t even look at my phone. For hours.

One of the wonderful things about SSA Emily Prentiss is that nothing phased her; she had lived a life that was too complicated and dangerous to sweat the small stuff. “Not a problem. Are you doing anything tonight? Garcia is trying to organize a girl’s night.”

I could still feel my boy’s eyes on me. “No, I don’t have any plans. If she asks me, I’ll let you know.” Prentiss scoffed, turning back to her work. We both knew Garcia would ask.

Don’t look, don’t look, I kept repeating to myself; but how could I not? Slowly, my head turned towards him, finding him already staring at me. To anyone else, his face would have appeared blank, but after last night, I knew him better than that. He didn’t have his glasses on today, he wore a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, his messy curls hanging in a state of permanent disarray around his face. Calling his eyes brown was doing them an injustice; not quite hazel, they were filled with so many tiny shards of color, giving them a depth I had never noticed before last night.

No, his face wasn’t blank; his face was filled with uncertainty. When he eventually woke up last night, he lifted his head from my lap quickly, his cheeks red with embarrassment. I hadn’t said anything; I kissed his cheek and walked out of his apartment. My poor nervous, beautiful boy. I offered him a small, soft smile. This didn’t have to change anything. Not if he didn’t want it to.

--

Just because you expect something doesn’t mean you’re ready for it; that’s a lesson I had learned a long time ago that had always held true. I expected Dr. Reid to try and talk to me at some point today. I expected it, but I wasn’t ready when he finally cornered me on my way back to the bullpen from the bathroom. I felt his presence before I saw him; he stepped around the corner, briefly meeting my eyes before he started shuffling awkwardly.

He cleared his throat. “H-hey, y/n. I was…I was hoping that I could talk to you for a minute?”

Still such a nervous boy. I gave him a nod; I knew he needed answers. It wasn’t fair to ignore him just because I was uncomfortable with how I was feeling. I had done this before, Spencer hadn’t. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what Spencer had done before. I turned as he walked past me, following him down the hallway until we reached JJ’s old office. It was filled with old boxes and scattered with case files. It was as private as we were going to get.

I waited for the boy genius to speak first; it might have been cruel, but I really didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to begin. How was I supposed to start this conversation when I remembered the noises he made when his cock was in my mouth? When I could still see the desperation in his eyes when he begged me to cum? After I had gone home last night, I lay in my bed until I couldn't resist the urge anymore. I slid my hand into my panties and remembered those sounds, how he looked, as I brought myself to a powerful orgasm.

I had masturbated thinking about Spencer Reid. That probably wasn't as earth-shattering as I was making it out to be, but I didn't do those sorts of things. I didn't do this shit with someone I work with…someone who has some form of power over any part of my life. I wasn't vulnerable; I was never vulnerable.

“Y/n,” his voice cracked on the last letter of my name. “I…I wanted to talk about yesterday.”

“I figured.” I kept my tone light. Despite my complicated feelings about the situation, I really did care about Spencer. I knew that for certain. Seeing him nervous, squirming, and desperate yesterday was one of the sexiest moments of my life. Seeing him nervous, squirming, and desperate today was different; it made my heart squeeze.

He gave me a smile. “I know we didn’t…talk about things before or after. But…I wanted to thank you.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, earning a beautiful flush rising on the apples of his cheeks. “No, not about that,” his voice squeaked out, furthering my amusement. “I meant for staying with me. Last night. You could have left after we were…done. But you didn’t. You knew I needed to be close to you…and you stayed with me.” Dr. Reid finally stopped fidgeting, his words less rushed, but still tinged in nervousness. “No matter what happens after this, that meant a lot to me. So, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for knowing you needed aftercare, Spencer.”

“Yes, I do.” Those three words made my breath stutter. Did he know? Did he know how scared I was? Could he tell how badly I wanted to run from the feelings he brought up in me? Knowing my luck, probably.

“You’re welcome, Pretty Boy.” Spencer smiled at the nickname, but I could tell he wasn’t done. Thanking me wasn’t the only reason he’d pulled me in here. I decided to speak before he got the chance to again. “Can I ask you a question?” When he nodded, I asked what I had wanted to know since the moment I met him. “Are you a virgin, Spencer?”

He must have known it was coming; he tried to keep his face impassive, but I could see the embarrassment in his micro-expressions. "No, y/n. I'm not a virgin…" Not super convincing, Doc. “I’m really not,” he gave a small huff of amusement. “I’ve had sex before…just not a lot.”

There is it. “What is not a lot?”

My boy shifted his weight from foot to foot then. "I had sex for the first time when I was 24, right after I joined the Bureau. I've gone on a few dates since then…It's lead to some…stuff, but it's never gone that far again."

“So, you’ve had sex with one person? Was that a woman or a man?”

“She was a woman.” I loved that he didn’t seem offended at the question. Spencer didn’t put on airs of hypermasculinity; I wonder if he had ever given any thought to his sexuality, or if he just accepted that it was what it was.

“Okay. Have you ever thought about having sex with a man?” This wasn’t relevant, I was just curious.

Spencer licked his lips; I could tell this conversation required a lot of courage from him. "Yes. I've been asked out…I've gone on two dates with men." He smiled when my eyebrows rose in surprise. “I’ve kissed men, but men are…they’re so aggressive. At least the ones I have been interested in.”

“Is aggression bad?”

“No,” he went on quickly. “It’s not, usually. I just…I don’t pick up on cues very well. I didn’t feel…safe with them. I was attracted to them, and I wanted to have sex with them…but I didn’t want to do that unless I felt like the person cared about me.” His voice shook, but his eyes never left mine, even as his fingers began to fidget with the end of his tie. “With you…yesterday, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I knew you’d…you’d stop if I wanted you to. And you made me feel like it was okay.” Fuck, why does he do this to my heart? “You made it feel like exploring my sexuality was okay. With you.”

I took a step towards him then; I couldn’t stop myself. He was the sun, lighting up the entire room, and I was just a mere mortal that wanted to stand in his light. I raised my hand to cup his cheek, gazing up at him; he was so tall, so much taller than me. “Exploring your sexuality is okay, Doc.” My voice was firm, leaving no room for debate. “It’s important to feel safe with the people you explore it with. You should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or with a person that doesn’t care about you. I’m honored that you saw that in me.”

He wanted to kiss me; I knew he did, I could see it in his eyes…but he didn’t. I don’t know if it was because we were at work or because he was afraid that I would reject him. I wouldn’t have. His hand came up to cover my own, pulling it down from his face so he could lace his fingers through mine. Just like my kissing him, it wasn’t lost on me that holding my hand was significant to him.

“I know we didn’t talk about it,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. We work together…but, I like you. I trust you. And…if you wanted- if you’re okay with it…I’d like to explore what we talked about yesterday. With you.”

I knew he would want to. Who wouldn’t want to explore the unknown? Especially a curious man like my Dr. Reid? Despite all of that, my heart couldn’t help but swell at his declaration. I loved being dominant in the bedroom. I found that amount of control arousing beyond belief, and I’d never say otherwise. But there was something about the trust that my submissive put in me that fulfilled a different part of me. To be trusted like this…It was something so important and it triggered a feeling of pride in myself. I was worthy of their trust.

I squeezed his hand. “Okay, Doc.” He looked so fucking hopeful. “We can discuss it. This is the unsexy part of any BDSM dynamic. We have to talk…a lot. Communication is what makes this work.” And I do want this to work, which was terrifying. “I want you to take some time to think about this,” I hurried on when it looked like he’d interrupt me. “You need to do some research, Doc. I want you to look at things and decide what or how you want to proceed. Or if you even want to proceed. If you change your mind, that is okay.” He needs to know that. “Then we can have a discussion and go from there.”

Spencer nodded, seeming more comfortable now that he had a task to focus on. “What about work?”

“That’s an important thing to talk about too. Obviously, we can’t do anything obvious at work. There are cameras everywhere. And we need to focus on cases.” He made a noise of agreement. “We need to talk about what works for us. If you’re open to playing together when we’re on a case in certain settings, like back at our hotel, if you want this to be a monogamous dynamic, signals, safe words, and how we establish when a scene starts.”

His eyebrows were so high I was worried they’d disappear into his hairline. “O-okay.”

I smiled. “Good. Think it over; you know where I’ll be.”

--

Again, just because you expect something doesn't mean you're ready for it. I expected Spencer to want to talk to me again, but I wasn't ready for the text message that popped up on my phone at 6:03 pm.

“I’d like to talk whenever you are free.”

A normal person wouldn’t have been able to do the required research in just 40 minutes, which was the maximum amount of time he could have been home for; but Spencer Reid wasn’t a normal person.

Which is why I text Emily and Garcia some lame excuse about backing out of girl’s night before I told Spencer I was free tonight.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to cancel girl’s night.”

Fucking profilers with eidetic memories. “I’d rather do this. I’ll see you in 20.”

--

I raised my hand to knock on his door but felt myself pause before my knuckles connected to the wood.

What the fuck am I doing? It was a valid question. It wasn’t too late to back out…but it was also far too late to back out. Before my fingers could decide if they wanted to knock or not, the door in question swung open to reveal the curly-headed man that plagued my thoughts.  

He was in the same clothes he wore to work that day, only his tie was missing, the first few buttons of his shirt undone. Spencer’s hair always looked like he just woke up, his curls having a mind of their own and he couldn’t be bothered to tame them. They looked different right now; it was like he had been running his hands through his hair.

I offered him a smile. “Hi, Doc.”

“Hi, y/n.” With a smile of his own, he waved an arm, ushering me into the apartment. It didn’t look any different than it had yesterday, not really. It just felt different. I walked over to his couch, just like I had yesterday. I sat on the same cushion, just like I had yesterday. Everything just felt so different.

Spencer sat beside me, just like yesterday. “I feel bad about making you cancel girl’s night.”

“Don’t. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, Doc.” I pushed my hair behind my ear; a nervous habit I hope he hadn’t picked up on quite yet. “I want to be here.”

“I want you to be here too.”

It’s unprofessional to swoon, y/n. Get it together.

I mentally shook myself. “Right. So, where do you want to start.”

“Why do you hold your submissives at such a distance?” he licked his lips; he was nervous, but his gaze never dropped from mine. “I respect you and your decisions, but I would really like to understand.”  

“…Well, that’s certainly a place to start,” I gave an awkward chuckle. He didn’t return my amusement. My curious boy really wanted to know. “I told you, I got my heart broken. That’s it.”  

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to pressure you,” his voice was so fucking earnest. “I just…I don’t understand. I want to understand. You don’t have to tell me everything, but please don’t lie to me.”

Shame washed over me; I had been stressing how important open and honest communication is and here I am avoiding something because it makes me uncomfortable. This had never been an issue before; none of my previous subs had ever wanted to know. But how could I even explain how embarrassed I was? How stupid I had been? How I gave someone my entire heart when I didn’t even know the kind of person he really was? How could I explain the choices a 22-year-old girl made?

"You're right, Spence," I took a deep breath. "Trust is important. I won't lie to you, but please understand that I'm not comfortable talking about it right now. I've never talked about it with anyone." I reached out for his hand, holding it softly in mine. "It's not that I don't want you, I just…haven't done that with anyone in such a long time."

He didn’t understand, hell, I didn’t even understand, but he accepted what I said…for now, anyway. “Okay,” he squeezed my hand. “We don’t have to do that, and you don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready.”

My mouth couldn’t help but turn up into a smile. This man. “Thank you.” I let go of his hand, clasping both of mine together and putting them in my lap. I wanted to touch him, but I needed him to not feel any pressure from me for the next part of our conversation. “Now, we need to talk about limits and expectations.” He began shifting in his seat. “I know it’s uncomfortable, but this is all part of it. I assume you’ve done some research, so tell me about what interests you and what doesn’t.”

My boy looked so unsure of himself; he was bearing such a vulnerable part of himself to me, and he was frightened. But no matter how afraid he was, my boy was also brave. “I-…I don’t have any real frame of reference. I’d like to experiment with some things before I decide if it’s a hard limit for me or not.” I nodded in an attempt to encourage him. “I don’t want extreme pain. Or things that are…unsanitary.”

I laughed. “I never expected any different.”

Maybe my laugh relaxed him; he didn't seem quite as tense as he went on. "I'd like to…touch you when you allow it. I've never…really done anything with a woman outside of just penetration. I know the basics of how to…I just would like to do those things. With you. If you ever felt comfortable." I'm almost positive I was blushing now. Spencer Reid, Dr. Spencer Reid, the pride of the BAU wanted to do things to please me; and I was tempted to let him. Who would have thought? “You don’t have to decide now…but the moment you feel comfortable, I’m ready.” His eyes ran up and down my body, I could see his throat work when he swallowed. “I’m really ready.”

After a beat, he went on, “Beyond that, I’m interested in being restrained. I like the idea of choking…but I’m nervous about it. The idea of giving up control and following order is what fascinates me. I…I also wanted to tr-try what you mentioned. In Nebraska.”

As I live and breathe. "Spencer, are you asking me to fuck you?" He knew what I meant; I could see it in the way he bit his lip. "Do you want me to tie you to my bed and make you beg for me to fuck your ass?"

He tried to disguise that whimper, but I fucking heard it. “I-I…It’s not uncommon for men to like that sort of stimulation, given that-“

I raised my hand, placing a finger on his lips before I broke my own rules again. I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his full pink lips. “No shame here, pretty boy. None at all, especially with me.” He watched my mouth move, his posture becoming less tense. “I’d love to fuck you. Pegging a man is something I found arousing, Spencer. The thought of doing it to you turns me on. We can work up to it.”

The smile he gave me was so hesitant and sweet. "Okay." He waited a minute before he went on. "I know that you don't always orgasm with your subs…you don't let them make you cum. I don't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable, but I really, really want to make you cum." I clenched my thighs together. Jesus fucking Christ. “If you’re comfortable, I’d like for you…for that to be part of what we do together. You’re so beautiful when you cum, y/n. I thought about it last night after you went home. I thought about how you taste…I really want to taste you again.”

Fuck. I really wanted him to taste me again too.

-- 

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Let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist. Thanks for reading :)

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

((*Note we are/our body is diagnosed with Combined Type ADHD, & our therapist suggested autism is comorbid, which we suspect we do actually have based on conversations with the autistic community & research (peer reviewed articles + the old diagnostic test (RASSD-R? RAASD-R? Something like that - some of y'all probably know what I'm referring too. I think we got a 205?)). Relevant to what this is about.

Also I use “™” (trademark symbol) to indicate “this is one section/thing” & “this is a ✨vibe✨” so that's what those mean))

---

Us for the past week or two (especially before work): Well, if ADHD meds are just stimulants, and caffeine is a stimulant, I can basically use coffee to self-medicate without worrying about unknown side effects (since I already know how caffeine affects the human body & how it affects us).

Us at work on caffeine, unmasked: *some tics (especially when tired/stressed), The Cups Must Be Arranged In This Pattern Or I Will Cry™ (portion cups for dips, we work in fast food), Sensory Overload Says Hi™, That Beeping Pitch Is Making Me Want To Rip My Skin Off™ (timers; angry fridge door got left open), Sauce Got On My Hands, Bad Texture, Get It Off™ (lots of extra hand washing), can't make eye contact to save our life (/mild exaggeration), Please Don't Touch Me™/avoiding contact, hyperfocused zooms, gets 2x to 3x normal work done like it's nothing, small head shakes (as if saying no) are soothing, going nonverbal every hour or two from Overstimulated™ because the beeps don't stop & having to type into a document on phone to communicate, Auditory Processing delays, Visual Processing delays, This Face Mask Is Grabbing My Face, Bad Texture, Make It Go Away™, can function without music but feel awkward & processing delays are worse without music, Words Are Difficult™ + Entire Dictionary Vanished & Everyone Is Speaking Simlish, I Understand Nothing™, collapse to the concrete shaking & immediate meltdown or shutdown as soon as work is over, lay in bed Too Overstimulated To Move/Exist™ for 2 to 4 hours as soon as we get home because need to recover*

Us at work on caffeine, masking: *dissociation, losing time, very long audio processing, everything gets internalized & shoved down, quiet/distant thoughts swirling, very dizzy*

Us this morning (before work): Yea no I don't feel like drinking coffee today.

Us at work (leading into after work), unmasked: *constant inner monologue, both narrating what we're doing & thinking about how the way we're doing it screams ‘I'm ADHD’, more intense & frequent tics (hard head shake, shaking hand off like it has something on it), need music to not zone out/get Choice Paralysis, more shaky hands, thoughts go zoom, losing large chunks of time, rearranging the pattern of portion cups literally every time we put another set out to fill because Too Similar Is Too Boring™, every little bit of movement draws attention & Must Look™ (cars, people walking, flashing lights, clocks), ✨S H I N Y, Must Look 😍™✨ (one of our favourite visual sensory things is silver &/or gold/bronze shiny metal), That Person Is Wearing A Business Suit To The Dentist, That's Odd, ¿Did They Just Leave Work? (& similar unhelpful distraction thoughts)™, Go Go GO/Must Move™, Pace Back And Forth Is Soothing™, Tap Fingers On The Keyboard™ stim (move fingers as if playing piano, but just tapping palm/other fingers/air), “EEEE” constantly in head, very awkward eye contact (Too Intimate™), immediate full body shakedown after work (5 hour shift) because ✨Need To✨™, goes for a walk immediately after work because Too Much Energy, Need To Move™ & Understimulated™, replacing words with other words that don't make sense or make little sense (e.g. “that's not what I was trying to make” instead of “that's not what I was trying to open”), people's voices are speaking so slow they sound far off & processing is difficult, Please Talk Faster™, Very Very.Easily Distracted™ (planned to do some self-care an hour ago, planned to read today 3 hours ago, but ✨Nope✨ Tumblr & distractions are too interesting)*

Us at work, unmedicated & masked: *inner monologue/brain background noise: “Old McDonald had a farm, and Bingo was his name-oh. B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-oh.” into the Jeopardy theme (doo doo doo do-do, doo doo doo), into the McDonald's jingle (“buh dah buh dah dah, I'm lovin it”); shaky hands, clumsy as heck, bouncing on toes, wiggling toes; humming to self, quiet whistling, hidden fidget cube in pocket quiet clicks*

Us: ...

Us: ...Well. Now that we've been medicated awhile I notice how much ADHD actually affects us because this is different. 😶

---

There's noticably different feelings, experiences, traits that we now notice. We've never medicated our ADHD before because didn't want pharmaceutical dr~gs, so we honestly couldn't tell what would be affected by meds or not (always dealing with ADHD on a daily basis). Being ✨medicated✨ showed us what was definitely ADHD & what probably wasn't, because we got used to not dealing as much with ADHD stuff & then today was all the ADHD things &....oh. ¿What we thought was Just/Still ADHD™ even though we were basically medicated was actually autism? 😶

Disclaimer that not every ADHDer will experience all of these & they may experience things we don't, & not every autistic person experiences all these things & they may experience things we don't. We aren't The Golden Standard™ for ADHD, autism, comorbid ADHD & autism, or neurodivergence. Also, some of these may be overlap as well, they’re not exclusive to ADHD or autism.

So....that's how our day went 😅. We weren't planning to be unmedicated with intent to see the difference, just didn't because too lazy to make coffee &...yea. apparently they //are// different, in ways we didn't predict/expect.

~Nico (he/they)

[rainbuckets8]

Why you should watch RWBY

TL;DR:

Summary: RWBY is an epic fantasy with themes like found family, the struggle to remain hopeful, the younger generation growing up, villain redemption, and systemic evils.

Strengths: RWBY has unique and memorable characters. The show is smart. It has excellent cinematography and animation. It has representation. It tackles hard topics. It’s got incredible music and it’s free on RT’s website.

Weaknesses: RWBY has some early growing pains, specifically volume 2’s finale, as well as budget and polish. Later on, volume 4 is weaker than the rest. Volume 8's finale is extremely distressing for a lot of viewers (and we haven't seen the follow up to those events yet). The fandom can be bad at times.

Misinformation: The early volumes being bad, the racism plot line, and the animation (not the same as “budget and polish”) are not as bad as you may have heard from YouTube.

Suggested viewing order

Red Trailer, White Trailer, Black Trailer, Yellow Trailer

Volume 1

Volume 2

Volume 3

Volume 4 Character Short

Volume 4

Volume 5 Weiss Character Short, Volume 5 Blake Character Short, Volume 5 Yang Character Short

Volume 5

Volume 6 Adam Character Short

Volume 6

Volume 7

Volume 8

(I did my best to make this spoiler-free. When there are spoilers, they’re worded ambiguously enough that someone new to the show would never guess what’s going to happen just by reading this.)

What to expect

The world of Remnant is filled with monsters called the creatures of Grimm. Warriors called Huntsmen and Huntresses defend humanity. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang go to school to become the next generation of heroes. Together they make Team RWBY (pronounced, “Ruby”)! Joining them is team JNPR (“Juniper”), made up of Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren. But evils even more dangerous than the Grimm are ready to make their move, and school quickly becomes an afterthought…

(I mention these next two topics specifically bc they can immediately turn someone away based on bad expectations.) There is a fantasy school setting, but RWBY is not a show about school. School topics are not a dominant idea: it seems to resemble a setting like Harry Potter, but the actual focus of the show rarely touches on things like classes or homework or tests, and we quickly move on. There is romance and it has a role in the plot, but RWBY is not a romance show. On the scale of romance in FMAB to She-Ra, RWBY falls somewhere in the middle.

What is RWBY about, then? RWBY is like an epic fantasy or high fantasy, despite first appearances. Perhaps not every genre convention is followed, but at its core, RWBY is about an epic struggle of good and evil.

RWBY contains themes such as found family, the struggle to remain hopeful, the younger generation growing up, villain redemption, and systemic evils.

Strengths of the show

The characters are unique and memorable. One of the cool things is that they all draw inspiration from a real life fairy tale, myth, or something else. They designs are all top notch. One character who died with extremely little screen time even got so much fandom love, they included the character in a mid-hiatus short later. The characters have unique weapons, too; in the world of Remnant, a weapon is an extension of ones’ soul, and they reflect the variety of their owners. They’re also just plain cool; Monty was famous for following the “Rule of Cool.” And their individual stories are all compelling and interesting.

The show is smart. As a fandom, we generally pick up on the narrative hints the creators are dropping. And our predictions usually come true, but not in a way that makes the show predictable and boring. We very rarely guess exactly what will happen, but we have some similar idea of it. It’s just excellent foreshadowing.

RWBY also likes to play with tropes, as an extension of this. Often it will challenge them, or subvert expectations. In other cases, RWBY uses tropes to avoid showing us what we already know will happen. This occurs in both characters and plot. For example…

SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR VOLUME ONE FOR THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH: Jaune’s entire character arc is about trying to be the anime protagonist, and learning that he doesn’t have to do things alone, and it’s ok to be a support main. The show sets up the narrative in a way that looks like, oh of course the direction it will go is him becoming the main character, but then it destroys toxic masculinity instead.

Our characters are smart, too. Plot-induced stupidity generally doesn’t happen. (A few big mistakes or errors in this regard aren’t actually the fault of the narrative, either, but animation and miscommunication and failure to execute. And those aren’t common.) It goes beyond just “not being dumb,” however. The villains’ plans are incredibly clever, and our heroes sometimes even guess at the usual “plot twists.”

The cinematography is just incredible. There are numerous freeze frames with extreme attention to detail that reveal character motivations or arcs or foreshadowing, there are many effective cuts and moving parts, there are soooo many parallels and callbacks, and visual cues such as lighting and color all are used appropriately to convey emotion and assist the narrative. It is one of the biggest overlooked strengths of the show, imo, simply because a lot of people in the fandom don’t notice these things as much for whatever reason, or else don’t give as much praise about them.

The animation is extremely good as well. Budget issues and technology issues aside (which means a lack of polish), the actual animation? The fight choreography, and all the other parts of animation that aren’t just “expensive CGI” are all wonderful. You can have very shiny, polished turds after all, and RWBY is like the opposite: not very polished, especially early on, but very well animated. All the trailers, volume 1 episode 8, the volume 1 finale, the volume 2 penultimate episode, and basically everything else hold up extremely well even today. If anything, the worst fight animation was in volumes 4 and 5 because of Maya growing pains, and those are an example of being more polished, but not necessarily better animated. Animation of faces has always been good, animation of characters has always felt lively. Aside from a few small actual hiccups (that one person running across rooftops for instance), it’s well done.

There are LGBTQ+ characters. The treatment of one of the recent trans characters, in volume 8, was nothing short of amazing. They worked with a VA who was trans. The moment of canon confirmation was important to the character for backstory, because of course that affects the character’s life, but not the only important thing about the character. The representation is not in-your-face or pandering. And there is a split of representation among the main cast and the minor characters, with promises of more to come (notably they’ve said they’re working on more mlm for future volumes, too).

RWBY is not afraid to tackle hard topics. It deals with things like mental illness, systematic racism, and cycles of abuse. It’s not because the show is trying to earn “gritty and dark” points, it’s because those are some of the topics that real people have to struggle with as well. And the show handles most or all of them very well, in a way that shows respect and an honest attempt to depict these things as best they can. (NOTE ABOUT VOLUME 8: THERE IS A VERY DIFFUCLT CONVERSATION CURRENTLY HAPPENING. I am on the side of, let’s wait and see what happens next because the story isn’t over, so we haven’t really seen the fall out. But I understand why this paragraph feels really difficult to agree with if you've seen the volume 8 finale. I trust the track record of the rest of the show, personally.)

As an example, the show has a theme that villains are rarely evil just because. A lot of villains choose to do bad things because they were hurt in some way. Some lived in poverty; some were hurt by racism; many of them are victims of abuse. But the show doesn’t make excuses for them. It’s possible to be both sympathetic and still choose evil over and over again (that’s called tragic). The ones who eventually do try to do good again are not always forgiven, either.

The music is amazing. I can probably count on my hands the number of times I’ve heard someone say otherwise, which is astonishing when you consider this fandom.

It’s also free on RT’s website. (A paid, “FIRST” subscription removes ads and lets you see new episodes one week early, but they all eventually release for free.)

Weaknesses of the show

Early volumes’ growing pains exist, much like most or all other shows. (Even some of the greatest were not immune to this, like ATLA.) In this case, however, it’s a little bit rougher. A large reason why is that this was kind of the first big thing from RT to ever come out. If you remember back almost a decade ago, their only other big thing at the time was RvB, which was machinima. They pretty much started from scratch with everything, from assets to VAs to animation to writing. Imagine if a random twitch streamer, like Ninja (idk who’s popular these days) said one day, “OK let me just direct something that’s intended to be the next great movie series of all time, like Star Wars, with a $4 bill and an iPhone camera.” Then went out and actually made something. Of course it would be rough…but then it turns out the movie is actually really good. And then you get to watch over the next several years as everything gets better and better until it’s honest-to-god comparable to the MCU. That’s kind of what happened with RWBY.

One specific growing pain was the volume 2 finale. Pretty much everything else up until that point, I love about the show. But the finale just fails to deliver on the build up of tension from other episodes. Some of it is because of later plot developments that we didn’t know at the time; some of it is because of just not great writing; some of it is because of just not great animation; and yes, some of it is budget. Regardless, it’s a low point for the show.

Speaking of, the budget for the early volumes is super small. The infamous volume one shadow people, the infamous person jumping across the rooftops in volume two, and just production quality isn’t high compared to a major release from some established studio. These are real weaknesses of the show that for some people, make it unwatchable, and if that’s you, that’s ok.

One last weakness of the show, the screen time per episode, especially early on, is NOT a full 20 minutes like you may expect of an anime (or anime-inspired-western-media, for those of you who will die on the “RWBY is not an anime” hill). This is a trend that has stuck with the show, a shorter run time per episode, for generally the entire lifetime. On one hand, it means it’s a little less daunting to catch up or rewatch than the number of episodes might imply. On the other, early on, some episodes have a little weird pacing. It also means the writing had to adjust for this, so while RWBY got really good at telling a story within a shorter amount of time, there’s also challenges with that too. Perhaps one of the notable ones is the pacing, with slower moments sometimes feeling like it takes up too much screen time, or not enough. Volume 4 was a particular struggle for the crew, both because they switched animation engines and also for the story.

Common complaints that I don’t agree with

I don’t agree that the early volumes were actually bad overall. Growing pains, yes, but not bad. I attribute that complaint to overly focusing on one character’s storyline, back when it wasn’t clear there was so much more to come and before people realized the show would challenge the tropes instead of falling into them. It’s pretty much just volume 1 when people say this anyway, most of them I’ve heard admit that volume 2 was a lot better (except the finale) and almost everyone loves volume 3. And looking back on it, I do think volume 1 holds up.

Tying into this, the racism plot line is another common complaint. I don’t think it’s actually executed quite that badly. I think it makes sense for there to be regional differences in the amount of racism we see, it just so happened that we only saw a very small and isolated environment, Beacon, for much of the early volumes. (Incidentally, that’s actually similar the environment I myself grew up in.) It’s not perfect, though. But there’s no doubt that the later volumes do a better job portraying this. Again, I attribute it mostly to people not knowing how long the show would run for at the time, so of course if that’s all we saw, it would’ve been bad. But it’s not. I have a lot of respect for Miles and Kerry for even attempting to handle the racism topic in the first place. And for the faults that DO exist in this plot line, I credit them for learning and growing past that too, and doing better in later volumes.

The animation is not bad. I’ve already touched on that earlier, but people confuse “budget and polish” with “animation.” Give me RWBY any day over Michael Bay’s Transformers: no matter how much polish those robots have, they’re still a confusing mess to try and follow. And the polish isn’t even an issue once we get past the growing pains of Maya and get a bigger budget, because wow does this show look good now.

Between these three complaints I hear about often, I think those are the biggest ones. And they’re all generally done in bad faith, based not on just those but on other more provocative statements people also make with them. That’s part of my issue with the fandom, specifically the vocal but small parts of the fandom, because they’re just repeating these things from early days that aren’t true. But YouTubers gotta get those rage and hate clicks somehow, right? Unfortunately it discredits the show a lot and influences other people’s opinions into not giving it a fair chance, because it’s become a narrative of “RWBY IS BAD” when they all won’t shut up about it. So yeah, fandom can be bad, join at your own discretion. (Of course, all fandoms have annoying parts, and my interactions with the fandom have been good overall, otherwise.)

Onto other complaints, some say the cast is bloated. I don’t agree, but I don’t think this one is in bad faith. I think we get the important characters as much screen time as we can, and the minor characters don’t actually detract from that; one of the differences between good minor characters and bad ones, is that bad ones take up too much time. RWBY has a ton of characters but many of the minor ones don’t actually take up too much time. So it appears bloated, but actually I don’t think it is.

Finally, a small word on the no-no topics. Adam, and Monty. Adam is like the champion of the Monty topic. Which essentially boils down to “Miles and Kerry are ruining Monty’s vision for the show.” Toxic fandom is truly awful and I have no respect for anyone who says anything like that. Shame on all of you. This isn’t really anything negative about the show, but the fandom, and tbf all fandoms have toxic parts. But toxic fandom can be a real and valid reason to not watch a show. Thankfully they seem fewer in number these days, but I think they’ve evolved into hiding behind other characters or topics, so you know. Beware. Again, it's not too hard to avoid them or block them, and my interactions otherwise with most fans have been good.

[httpjeon]

❝ blacklisted ❞ kth&jjk ― m.

― summary:

after departing from your dom, you’re assigned to two incredibly powerful men.

taehyung/reader/jungkook | dom/sub!au, CEO!taekook | angst, fluff, smut | 21.4k ↬ content warnings: dom/sub themes, pet names, sir!kink, daddy!kink, threesome, mxm scenes, subspace, praise kink, dirty talk, cunnilingus, pussy slapping, orgasm denial, begging, humiliation, safewords, blowjobs, deepthroating/face-fucking, creampie, intense orgasms(?), multiple orgasms, cum eating, cum sharing, arguments, insecurities, manipulation, reader is a bit impulsive, derogatory language, sexual face-slapping, punishments, dumbification, overstimulation, forced orgasms, aftercare, crying, 69ing, face-sitting, sensitivity kink(?), double penetration

a/n: this is from a fanfic title ask game!

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Eighteen was the coveted age. At that age, you are no longer a child and were to begin a new life in the society as you'd yearned for since being a child.

You awoke on the day of your birthday, filled to the brim with anticipation.

The first place you needed to go with the Role-Assignment Institute, a big building in Seoul you'd only had the pleasure of looking at until today.

It was almost intimidating, walking in. You'd arrived early in the day but there were still so many people packed into the waiting room. For some reason, the nerves only kicked in after you signed in — receiving a number that would be called when it was your turn.

112. That was your number. You kept looking at it, anxiously worrying that you'd read it wrong. Your leg bounced as you kept repeating the number in your head.

It felt like hours before a woman dressed in blue scrubs waltzed in yelling, "Number 112!"

Your knees felt weak as you stood up, handing the number slip to the nurse. She nodded, leading you down a long corridor that reminded you of a hospital. The fluorescent lights bounced off the white walls, causing a glare that made you squint.

"The doctor will be in, in just a moment," The nurse said, standing on her tippy-toes to pull out a clipboard with paper and a pen attached. "In the meantime, please fill out all the information needed on these,"

You sat on the exam table, the crinkling sanitary paper making you cringe at how loud it was. Using your lap as a table, you began looking over the forms. There was a form for basic information; like your name, age, height, and weight along with your social security number. After filling out everything, you moved onto the waiver that gave them permission to test you to find your Assignment. Though it was a safe and very simple procedure, it was still required.

Finally finished, you placed the clipboard to the side and waited, eyes on the door as if urging the doctor to enter.

The door loudly clicked open, a tall man in a white lab coat entered with a beaming smile. He greeted you, taking a seat on a rolling stool in front of the computer — clicking and typing for a moment before turning to you.

"I'm Dr. Kim," He held his hand out for you to shake. "Have you finished filling out the forms?"

"Oh yeah," You handed the clipboard over into his waiting hand.

"Miss _____..." He read your name, eyes scanning the paper for additional information. "Alright, I'll put this in the system, it'll be just a second."

The room was filled with the clicking of the keyboard and you absentmindedly swung your feet on the exam table. Dr. Kim sighed, rolling his chair towards the back of the room to pull out a needle and alcohol wipes.

"Alright, so you know how this works right?" He asked, holding your arm with one hand as he wiped the alcohol over the bend of your elbow.

"You take my blood and test it," You answered swiftly, wincing as he tied a band around your upper arm. The blood cut off, making the rest of your arm feel numb.

"That's right," Dr. Kim smiled, uncapping the needle.

Unable to watch, you closed your eyes and looked away. Several long seconds, a quick pinch, the application of the band-aid and it was over.

The doctor rolled back over to the computer, opening up a cylindrical machine which he popped the vial of your blood into.

"It'll just be a second before the results pop up," He told you as the machine began making a loud vibrating sound.

Two painstakingly long minutes passed before the noise stopped. He made a humming noise, clicking on the computer before turning back to you.

"Well, congratulations," He smiled, standing up to retrieve some papers out of a cabinet behind you. "You're a submissive!"

"Oh cool," You gasped, feeling relief wash over you at his reveal.

"Now, on to the least fun part," He pulled out a small machine that contained a long pen like tool. "This will imprint your status into you skin similar to a tattoo — without the actual tattooing part. It holds information in it, it need only be scanned."

You'd seen the imprints before — your mom and dad both had one. They were a way of identifying if someone was of age among other things.

The branding itself didn't hurt, it was a hot flash of pain but it dissolved within a second. Once he was done the letters 'S-U-B' were inked against your skin. Running your fingers over it, you could feel it was slightly raised.

"These hold information on where to go from here including picking a good matching agency,” He held out the papers. “There's a list on the second page," He flipped it for you.

"W-Who do you recommend?" You asked, realizing you never quite researched the various companies.

"Well," He pulled out a pen. "There are three top companies all located in Seoul that are partnered with this Assignment Institute pecifically. T&J Matching Company, MinHope Matching Agency, and the Kim Namjoon Matching Firm. For you, I'd recommend MinHope — they work very closely with their clients and they're the least intimidating out of them!"

"I'll go with MinHope then!" You smiled, watching as the doctor circled the one you chose.

It took just a few more minutes of Dr. Kim filling in information for you — sending a referral from him to your chosen company.

"Alright," He stood up, holding a little envelope with his signature on the front. "This has all the information you need going forward. Information on sub-to-dom matching and various important things to know, you can look over it when you get a chance."

"Thank you so much," you grinned, tucking it away in your purse.

You bid goodbye to the doctor, stopping by the front desk on your way out to give your payment for the procedure.

Being home filled you with relief, you instantly crashed onto the couch with a big sigh. Your feet hurt from walking and your back hurt from that exam table you sat on for an hour and a half.

Lifting your arm up, you gazed at the little black letters inked into your skin.

"Oh! I should call Mom!" You whispered to yourself, pulling out your phone.

Hearing her happily blabbing on about how happy and proud of you she was had you grinning from ear to ear. You could hear her relay every important detail to your dad, who also gave his congratulations. The conversation fizzled off into telling each other how your days had been going since you'd last seen each other. About an hour into the call, your phone began beeping obnoxiously in your ear.

"I have to go, Mom, I have another call incoming," You told her. "I'll talk to you later, yeah. Love you!"

You hurriedly answered the incoming call, effectively ending the call with your mother.

"Hello?" You asked.

"Good evening, this is Joy with MinHope Matching Agency," Your heart sped up. "We received a referral from Dr. Kim. Would you like to set up your appointment?"

"Yes please!" You smiled, sitting up properly. "When is the soonest I can be seen?"

"Well..." You held your breath and you could hear faint clicking of a computer. "There's an appointment opening with Mr. Jung at 10:15 in the morning. Does that work?"

"That's perfect!" You exclaimed.

Bidding your goodbyes to the woman, you flopped back onto the couch, filled to the brim with so much excitement you weren't sure you'd be able to sleep through the night.

The morning of your appointment came earlier than you expected. You'd had trouble sleeping so you felt a little drowsy getting to the Agency.

"Um hi, I'm ____ I have a 10:15 with Mr. Jung," You said to the lady sitting behind the reception desk. On the wall was a sign that said MinHope Matching Agency, with a glowing white back light. She clicked on her computer for a second before pulling out a badge that said "Visitor".

"Go to floor 8," The lady said. "You can speak to Joy up there at the service desk and she'll tell you where to go,"

You were surprised by the cold attitude of the woman and hurriedly scurried to the elevator. You could feel her eyes on you as you waited for the doors to open. Glancing behind you, you winced when you met her piercing gaze.

"Boy," You gasped, leaning against the back of the elevator once you got in. "What was her problem?"

You watched the numbers go up as you ascended the floor before stopping on the 8th. When you stepped out, you were met with a few faces, waiting to get in as well.

"Excuse me," you breathed, bypassing them easily.

You spotted the large desk, wandering over to it and waited for Joy, as you figured, to finish speaking with someone else.

"Hello!" She beamed."Are you here for an appointment?"

"Um yes," You answered. "10:15 for Mr. Jung."

"Oh right, Miss ____!" She beamed, pulling out a scanning gun. "Please show me your arm,"

With a click of the gun, your sub tattoo was scanned.

"Okay," She stood up. "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to Mr. Jung's office,"

Her heels clicked on the linoleum floors as you walked behind her through a hallway. Doors were lined up on both sides, some appeared to be conference rooms and other just normal offices. She stopped in front of a large wooden door with a plaque that read Jung Hoseok, CEO.

"Just go on in and he'll start your consultation," Joy bowed before pivoting on her heel and going back the way she came.

Walking into a CEO's office seemed quite daunting. So you timidly gaze three knocks, letting him know you were there before opening the door.

"Come in, come in!" He beamed, a bright heart-shaped smile as he opened the door even more for you.

He was dressed in a nice suit with his hair slicked back. He was really good looking. You followed his urging and took a seat in front of his desk, in a comfortable leather chair.

"I see Joy scanned you for me, that's great," He smiled. "Sometimes she forgets to do that."

He clicked on his computer for several long minutes, typing and reading over whatever came on the screen. He was silent for several minutes, giving you an excellent chance to look at him. His sleeves hid where his brand was so you were unable to see what he was. You wondered if he was matched or not. He was good looking and certainly above the age of 18 but that didn't really mean anything.

"And there we have it!" He grinned, pivoting his screen to show you what was on it.

On the screen was a picture of you, there was a picture of a man who had Lee Daehoon (DOM) underneath.

"This is my match?" You asked, scooting closer to look at him. "He's...handsome,"

"I'm glad you approve!" Hoseok grinned, turning his screen back around to face himself.

"Can I ask...how you make the matches like that?" You asked, watching him click on his computer again.

"Well, we simply scan your imprint and it reveals details about you along with your DNA information which allows up to match you with a Dominant who is basically most compatible! Of course, there are several possible matches but it goes with the best one currently in the system," He easily explained, turning his chair around to grab some papers from his printer.

"That's interesting..." You mumbled, glancing down at your tattoo mesmerized by just how much information could be extracted from it.

"Alright, your first meeting with Mr. Lee is set up, there should be an email for you with the information."

You honestly never thought you'd be in that leather chair again with Jung Hoseok staring blankly at his computer screen searching for a good match. But unfortunately, fate likes to be cruel and ruin good things.

Lee Daehoon...what a jerk.

"I'm sorry about this," Hoseok suddenly said, making you look up. He was already staring at you with indiscernible pity. "I know it's hard when a relationship doesn't work. A lot of people just expect it to and they get disappointed. Of course, sometimes it does work! A lot of the time!" He quickly tried to save what he'd said.

"It's alright," You smiled. "It happens, I know that. I'm just kind of annoyed I wasted 3 years with that jerk..."

Hoseok smiled. "I understand—" He suddenly gasped, sitting up straighter and leaning his face closer to the screen.

"That's bad for your eyes," You joked.

"I don't believe it..." He mumbled.

"What is it?" His behavior had your anxiety piquing.

"Here, take a look," He spun his monitor around for you to see.

You saw your face, as expected, but instead of just one line and one picture there were two. Two photos of men sat beneath yours, showing a match to both of them while they were connected by their own line.

Kim Taehyung (DOM) and Jeon Jungkook (DOM).

"Two Doms?" You leaned closer to the screen in surprise. "How is that possible?"

"Well," Hoseok's brows were furrowed as he turned the screen around to see for himself once again. "It's certainly uncommon but..." He shook his head. "I've never personally seen it."

"D-Does it explain anything? Who are they? How could this even work?" You bombarded the poor man with questions.

"Well actually...I know both of them," He confessed. "We're friends, in fact."

"Seriously? Isn't that too much of a coincidence?" You gasped.

He shrugged. "They're both the CEOs of T&J Matching Company."

Your brain short-circuited at those words. "Pardon?"

"They've been together for a while, I didn't think they'd ever..." He broke off, humming to himself. It took him a second before he sobered up. "No matter! I've got your papers coming out now."

You watched as the papers came out of the printer, waiting for him to grab them. Smiling, he tucked them into a manila company envelope and handed it over to you.

"There's an email waiting for you, you know how this goes," He smiled, escorting you out of his office all the way to the elevator. "By the way...I don't think I ever gave you this but," He pulled out a little white card. "This is my business card if you ever need me."

You bid him goodbye before the elevator doors could close. Just before they did, you caught his smile dropping, replaced with a firm grimace.

What was that about?

On your way home, you read the email that gave the date and location of your first three dates with Taehyung and Jungkook. It also briefly explained the steps to take after the three dates — such as agreeing to match, declining the matching, and requesting more pre-match dates.

The first date was tomorrow at 12:30 — a lunch date.

You spent the rest of the evening planning out a outfit — not sure what style to go with. Then you did lengthy skincare and took a nice, long, hot bath.

Finally, by the time you were in bed, you decided to google the names of your potential matches. You were nearly blinded by how attractive they both were. Clicking on Taehyung's Wikipedia page, you began to read all about him.

'He has publicly been in a relationship with Dominant Jeon Jungkook, since before the creation of their company.' It read.

You were puzzled, having never heard of two Doms being together.

Googling more about their relationship, you saw articles trashing such a relationship and others providing information and statistics on the commonalty of it.

You locked your phone, staring blankly at the wall as your heart beat loudly in your chest.

You entered the restaurant, surprised to learn such a high-class place was your destination. It was a 5-star eatery and you felt immediately out of place when you walked in. Everyone was dressed up and wearing beautiful jewelry while you were wearing a simple summer dress.

"Hello? Do you have a reservation?" The hostess asked, face as blank as her voice.

"Um...I'm here for the MinHope Agency Reservation?" You replied, watching as she looked over something in front of her.

"Right, your dates have arrived," As she rounded the podium, you saw her tattoo on her arm that read DOM. No wonder she was so intimidating.

Your table was located in the far corner of the restaurant, away from everyone else. As you walked up to the table, you noticed the two men sitting there.

"Hello gentlemen," The hostess smiled. "Here's your date."

Both sets of eyes were upon you and as the woman walked away, you felt like you'd just been thrown the feral wolves while covered in meat.

"H-Hi I'm _____," You greeted, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm Taehyung," He had a boxy smile, standing up to pull your chair out for you.

"Thank you, Taehyung," You whispered, sitting down before he pushed you in.

Your eyes drifted to the other man, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were doe-like but they were ice cold as they pierced into you.

"U-Uh this is Jungkook!" Taehyung hurriedly introduced his companion. "He's um...shy?"

It sounded more like a question but you managed to smile anyway. You hoped it wasn't too obviously fake.

You noticed quickly they were both wearing suits. Taehyung's was gray while Jungkook's was black. They both wore rings and expensive-looking watches.

They were definitely CEOs.

"Let's order some appetizers!" Taehyung said, handing you a menu. "What would you like?"

You gazed over the menu, eye twitching at the prices listed beside the items.

"Th-This is too expensive..." You whispered, more to yourself. "I-I can't afford any of this..."

Jungkook scoffed, sitting forward to look over his own menu. "Could have seen that coming..."

"It's alright ____, the Agency will take care of the check!" Taehyung said, easing your apprehension.

"Oh really?" You asked.

When you had been on dates with Daehoon, it had been paid by you and him. Then again, they weren't nearly as lavish as these dates. Perhaps it just depended on the class of people.

"Um...I-I'm not sure what to choose," You squeaked out, feeling your face flush as you felt flustered by the way the date was going. You winced when Jungkook scoffed again.

"It's alright, we'll order something simple. Do you like stuffed mushrooms?" Taehyung asked, peeking at you over your menu.

Lowering it, you smiled and nodded. "I don't mind them!"

"Alright!" Taehyung waved his hand in the air and a waitress came over in a hurry. "We'll have the stuffed mushrooms!"

"Coming right up," She beamed, writing it down on a notepad before vanishing into another room across the way.

You looked at your menu once again, towards what they had ordered; mushrooms stuffed with Pecorino Romano, garlic, and breadcrumbs — ₩112,000. You nearly choked at the price tag but managed to keep it under wraps.

"Have you picked your meal?" Taehyung asked.

Before you could answer, Jungkook spoke up. "I'll have the roasted duck with the orange-bourbon glaze."

"O-Oh that sounds yummy," Taehyung patted Jungkook's shoulder, turning his eyes back to you. "You?"

"Doubt she can even read the damn menu," You winced at the insult, feeling your eyes sting slightly in embarrassment but fought it back.

Looking at the menu again, you quickly decided, "Spicy Thai basil chicken." You forced yourself to ignore the ₩140,000 glaring at you. It was going to be the most expensive food you ever ate.

"Awesome," He grinned and you missed the way he kicked Jungkook under the table, making the younger wince.

You and Taehyung engaged in idle small-talk about your likes and dislikes as you waited for the waitress to return. He would occasionally force Jungkook into it, bringing up his boyfriend's own preferences.

When the waitress returned, Taehyung listed all the meals you ordered. His own had made you balk; stuffed lamb breast with lemon, ricotta, and oregano. You didn't get a chance to look at that price tag before the menus were taken from you but you could only imagine how expensive it was.

Taehyung and Jungkook dissolved into soft chatter about work and you did your best not to listen in, instead gazing around the room to watch the people around you. It was the most awkward you'd felt all evening.

"Here you are; your meals!" A steaming plate of chicken was placed before you and you felt your stomach grumble.

"Looks delicious!" Taehyung groaned, quickly stuffing his mouth with his lamb breast.

Following his lead, you began to eat your own. The way the chicken's seasoning melted on your tongue made you close your eyes in bliss. You chewed the meat, unaware of the way the two men gazed at you.

"You look like a pig," Jungkook snapped, making you freeze. You opened your eyes to find his glaring at you, disgust written all over his face.

"Jungkook!" Taehyung growled, elbowing his ribs angrily.

"Well she does," Jungkook mumbled, taking a bite of his own food. "At least act like you belong here because you're an embarrassment now. Do you know who we are?"

"I-I'm sorry..." You heard Taehyung whisper something angrily to his boyfriend but you toned them out, finishing your food as fast as you could. You felt self-conscious the entire time and were happy when the plate was clean.

The air around the table was tense and unpleasant, the two of them not speaking until the waitress arrived. You felt relieved when she collected the plates.

"Would you like dessert?" She asked.

"Yes please!" Taehyung smiled.

"Not for me..." You made your move, standing up. Both men and the waitress looked at you with wide eyes. "I-I'm just going to go home. Thanks for the dinner..."

Before either of them could say anything, you pulled your coat on and rushed out of the door. You felt your eyes sting but you refused to cry as you began to make your way home from the terrible date.

"______, wait up!" Taehyung called to you and you stopped, looking back at him. "I uhh..." He panted. "I'm sorry for Jungkook. He's just a difficult guy to get along with!"

"If he doesn't like me then it's fine," You shrugged, hands stuffed in your pockets. "He comes before me, I know that."

"It's not that at all, _____," Taehyung sighed, running a hand through his hair. "D-Don't give up yet, okay? Let's just go with our three dates and we can decide at the end, alright?"

You looked past his shoulder to see Jungkook leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone. Sighing, you turned back to Taehyung and met his eyes.

"Alright, we'll do it."

"You won't regret it!" Taehyung gives you that boxy smile and you can't help but smile alongside him.

Once you arrived home, your phone dinged with a text message.

From: MinHope Matching Agency This is an automated message, please do not respond. Your date has been marked as over. Please fill out the progress tracker linked here. You followed the link and were brought to a short survey.

1. Was your date satisfactory? — Somewhat

2. Did you and your partner(s) get along? — Somewhat

3. Do you plan to go on the next scheduled date? — Yes

A completion page came up thanking you for taking and claiming they would be sending the information of your next date in a few days.

Still feeling dejected by Jungkook's behavior towards you, you curled up in bed intending to sleep.

Thankfully, it was cool out by the time your second date with them came along. The sky was painted purples and reds, casting a comforting glow over the landscape.

As you walked to the designated area for your date, you were glad to see Taehyung and Jungkook already there. Hanging back a bit, you watched as Jungkook grinned at his boyfriend — a cute bunny-like smile you'd not expected him to have. Leaning forward, Taehyung planted a soft kiss against Jungkook's nose.

You smiled at the scene, finding them cute.

However, the moment was broken when you met Jungkook's gaze and all the light disappeared in a second. His lips moved as he muttered something to Taehyung, most likely to let him know you were here because Taehyung was suddenly bouncing up to you happily.

"Hey beautiful! Nice to see you!" He greeted, surprising you by grabbing your hand.

You stumbled a bit over the uneven terrain before you were able to take a seat on the thick blanket laid out on the ground.

"Boy the agency really goes all out, huh?" You asked, making conversation.

Above you there was a canopy set up, glowing with the effect of the white fairy lights strung up. With the sun setting quickly, it became the only real source of light as you all sat together with a large picnic basket in the center.

"MinHope is like...famous for their date setups, you know?" Taehyung nodded, flipping open the box to reveal an assortment of food.

"Oh," You held out your hand as Taehyung put a sandwich in it. "Thank you."

"Is that chicken swiss?" Jungkook asked, leaning a bit closer to you.

"Yeah I think so..." You replied, peeking at the label on it. He didn't provide an answer, merely looking off and picking at the rapper on his own sandwich. "Do you...want it?"

He grunted in response, not speaking up placed his own sandwich down and held his hand out for yours. You met Taehyung's eyes, seeing he was holding back a smile as he watched the trade go down.

By the time you finished all the food, it was dark and the moon hung high in the sky.

"What time is it?" You asked, not feeling like looking at your phone.

"It's 8:42," Taehyung answered, glancing at his watch. "Should you be getting home?"

"Probably," You smiled. “I've got some work to do tomorrow.

"Oh? What do you do?" He asked, taking your hand to help you stand up.

"I'm uhh...a video game programmer," You shrugged, feeling silly compared to their own CEO positions.

"Oh really?!" Taehyung gasped, yanking on Jungkook's arm. "Kook loves video games!"

Jungkook grumbled, tugging himself out of Taehyung's grasp as the older laughed. Through the faint lighting, you could still tell Jungkook's cheeks were turning red.

"How about we walk you home?" Taehyung offered. He squeezed your hand, making you realize he was still holding it. His hand was big and very warm with pretty, lithe.

"That'd be nice..." You smiled, letting him lead you out of the area where your date had been set up. "Do we need to clean that up?"

"The Agency will take care of it," Jungkook replied, hands shoved in his pocket as he trailed behind the two of you.

"That's right, don't worry about it," Taehyung grinned, swinging your hand between the two of you.

Glancing over your shoulder, you saw Jungkook staring off into the street absentmindedly. You wanted to include him but, you knew he didn't feel that close to you just yet.

"My apartment is here," You paused in front of a tall building.

"Really? Here?" Jungkook piped up, slight disgust in his tone.

"I think it's cute," Taehyung quickly added. "A-Anyway, do you want us to walk you in?"

"I-It's fine..." You muttered, giving a slight glare at Jungkook — who was viciously avoiding your gaze, finding a crack in the sidewalk very interesting. "I can do it."

"Hang on," Taehyung reached into his pocket to pull out a slip of paper, shoving it into your hands. "I'll see you later!"

You watched as Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's wrist, tugging him along. Just before they slipped out of view, Jungkook looked over his shoulder back at you. It caused your heart to stutter in your chest.

Sitting on your bed after showering and changing into you pajamas, you looked at the slip of paper Taehyung had given to you.

"His phone number..." You whipped out your own phone, creating a new contact number under his name and shooting him a text.

To: Kim Taehyung [9:18PM] Hey, letting you know it's me, ____!

Almost immediately, three bubbles popped up to indicate he was typing.

From: Kim Taehyung [9:18PM] I'd like to apologize for Jungkook. He can be a little loose lipped with a silver tongue but he really doesn't mean it. He just...doesn't know how to express himself well.

To: Kim Taehyung [9:19PM] It's okay. I don't think he's all that bad after all...

From: Kim Taehyung [9:19PM] I'm glad to hear that. We can't wait for our next date.

You smiled, gazing at the text with your heart pounding heavily. You told him 'me too' before another text came in.

From: MinHope Matching Agency This is an automated message, please do not respond. Your date has been marked as over. Please fill out the progress tracker linked here. You were brought to a similar page to the last survey, only this one contained different questions.

1. Was your date satisfactory? — Yes

2. Do you feel that you and your partner(s) are getting closer? — Yes

3. Are there any complaints you have, this will not be conveyed to your partner(s). — None

You read over Taehyung's texts once again, feeling at ease over his words. Remembering how nice his hand felt in yours, you began to drift off. The last thing you thought of was that you hoped to meet the real Jungkook soon.

You were surprised to see there was a change in your third date's location when you woke up that Saturday.

Instead of an amusement park like it had been, it had been switched to a high-end club and bar. It was notorious for all the rich and famous attending, a very prevalent clientele frequented it as VIP guests. You didn't question it when Taehyung texted you that you would be receiving a package.

However, as you stared down at the Gucci box, it felt like your brain was being fried.

Whipping out your phone, you pulled up your text thread with him.

To: Kim Taehyung [3:57PM] Did you send me this? picture.attachment

From: Kim Taehyung [3:57PM] Oh? It arrived? I'm so glad! Please try it on and send us a photo!

Your cheeks felt hot at the text but got up to do as he asked anyway.

The sleek, black dress fit tightly and very well. It made your breasts look...phenomenal and you instantly felt sexier and more confident. While still running with the feeling, you snapped a few photos in the mirror — keeping your unmade hair and face out of it. The second you hit send, there was a read receipt showing that he saw it. He didn't respond, however, and anxiety quickly set in. You set your phone down, gazing at yourself again, moving side to side to check the fit. The color looked lovely against your skin tone.

Your phone went off, indicating an incoming text message and you pounced on your phone to see.

From: Kim Taehyung [4:13PM]

Wow...you look...incredible.

You couldn't help but beam at the praise, instantly feeling lifted by his words. Before you could reply, another text was coming in.

From: Kim Taehyung [4:14PM]

We'll pick you up at 8. Be ready by then. Can't wait to see you, sweetheart.

You just knew the rest of the day was going to chug by slowly, especially now that you were completely flustered by his us of a pet name.

At 8 on the dot, Taehyung texted you asking what your apartment number was. Mindlessly, you gave him the number; 302.

You were slipping on your heels when the doorbell rang to your apartment. Stumbling to the door, pulling your last shoe on, you tugged the door open only to have a large bouquet of flowers shoved in your face.

"I uhh...hope you're not allergic or anything..." Taehyung smiled, handing them to you.

"Oh they're lovely, Taehyung, thank you..." You brought them up to your nose to inhale the sweet scent. "Let me go put them in some water, come on in. Where's Jungkook?"

"He's still down in front, waiting in the car," Taehyung answered, following you to the kitchen.

He fell silent, watching you fill up a vase with some water for the flowers. Placing them on the kitchen table, you smiled at how they lit up the room.

"You do look lovely, _____," He complimented you, moving closer to take your hand.

"You look...fantastic yourself, Taehyung," You said, looking over his clothes.

He was dressed in black slacks and a tucked in white button-down with the first several buttons undone. The beautiful tan expanse of his tanned chest was utterly tantalizing and you had the urge to run your fingers along his pecs and press kisses to his neck until he moaned. He shining diamond choker he wore only had you squeezing your thighs together in want.

He was so completely and utterly attractive. His voice and touch were addictive. His voice was melodic and had you yearning to hear it more.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked suddenly, pulling you from your lewd daydreams.

"Y-Yeah..." You allowed him to lead you out by the hand, unaware of the way he smirked once out of your direct eyesight.

When Taehyung said Jungkook was waiting in the car, you didn't expect him to mean an actual limo with their own driver.

But that is exactly what you were introduced to.

Their driver's name was Eugene and he was a very kind, older man who opened and closed the door for you.

"Hi Jungkook," You greeted once you took a seat in the limousine.

"Hey," He greeted, scanning you up and down quickly before looking out the window. Though he didn't smile, you were happy to see the warmth in his gaze as he regarded you.

The outside of the club was spectacularly lit up with the longest line of people waiting to get in than you'd ever seen. Eugene opened the door and the three of you piled out easily.

To your surprise, they didn't even have to wait in the line — they just nodded at the security guard and waltzed right in with you in tow.

Inside, there was music blasting and a huge sea of moving bodies on the dance floor. Taehyung quickly took your hand and escorted you, Jungkook leading the way through the dance floor to the back where there were some spiraling stairs. There was a plaque on a stand at the beginning of them that read 'VIP ONLY'. It made you swell with pride that you were entering with these two men — you hoped they felt the same sense of pride being with you.

It was much quieter inside the room — which had been reserved for the three of you.

You finally had the opportunity to look at Jungkook clearly. His look was the complete opposite of Taehyung's. His hair was unkempt and a bit wavy as it hung in his eyes. He wore black jeans, a white t-shirt beneath a leather jacket.

The contrast between the two of them was intoxicating and you quickly downed a shot that was given to you.

The three of you made small talk, you got used to being in an environment. You took a few shots, blushing when they teased you about how you cringed at the taste.

"You're cute, you're already flushed!" Taehyung teased, pinching your cheek.

"I-It's because you're teasing me!" You argued, hiding your face beneath your hands.

Even Jungkook began to laugh the more flustered you became. Finally unable to take it, you jumped to your feet.

"How about we go and dance, yeah?" You grabbed both their hands, pulling them to their feet.

"You two go ahead, I've a phone call to make," Taehyung smiled. He could see the two of you hesitate at the prospect of being alone but he ushered you out.

"A-Are you sure?" Jungkook asked, his stuttering so unlike him.

You realized it was your chance to get closer to Jungkook. If you took charge he was sure to open up more to you; if he wasn't willing to do more, then you would!

"Yeah, let's go Jungkook!" The alcohol in your system gave you the courage to grab his arm, tugging him out the door. "Show me how well you dance!"

It was hot on the dance floor, and you could feel a slight layer of sweat building up the second you were packed in with all the bodies moving around you. Still, as you stood close to Jungkook you were pleased with how nice he smelt. His hand gripped your waist as your bodies moved in sync to the beat playing through the club.

Two songs played before another body finally pressed against you from behind. You were surprised, ready to turn around and tell the person off when you caught sight of Taehyung's piercing eyes.

Pressed between two bodies like you were, you slowly began to lose yourself to the beat and the alcohol flowing through you.

After another song, you pulled away to tell Jungkook something.

"I'm going to get a drink, I'll be back!" He nodded in response, letting you squeeze out from between them to find the public bar just off the dance floor.

You could feel eyes on you as you took a seat on the stool, letting the ice in your drink cool your heated body. Glancing over your shoulder, you expected to see Taehyung and Jungkook. Unfortunately, they seemed to have been sucked into the sea of the crowd.

You turned back around, only to find a man unsettlingly close to your face.

"Um...can I help you?" You asked, frowning and leaning away as you smelt the liquor on his breath.

"That's a cute little get up you got there," He complimented, eyes raking down your body. "You here with someone, baby?"

"Yeah she is, back off," A strong arm grabbed your arm and dragged you away from the scene.

You could see Jungkook's leather-clad shoulders in front of you as he led you back to the VIP lounge you had been in.

Taehyung was already inside, sitting with his legs cross and a glass of sometimes spinning in his hand making the liquid sqirl. His jaw was set as you were escorted inside by Jungkook.

"I knew you'd be dangerous in this little get up, babygirl," He cooed, standing up to tower above you.

Instead of feeling intimidated, you felt yourself gush into your panties at the raw dominance he exuded. Leaning down, his lips just out of reach of yours, he smirked.

"All eyes were on you and fuck if I didn't love that..." He whispered, meeting your eyes — pupils blown wide before he pulled away. "I've called Eugene, let's go..."

Instead of Taehyung taking your hand, Jungkook was the one who did. Your heart raced in your chest as he squeezed your hand — his fingers more callused and rough than Taehyung's. You couldn't help but think of what it would be like having those fingers stuffed inside you. You bit your lip, holding back a whimper; missing the way Taehyung chuckled.

It was silent in the limo, Jungkook's hand still in yours and Taehyung's resting on your bare thigh. You wished he would slide his hand up to fit between your legs — slide those long digits into your panties and feel how wet you were.

"Hey Eugene, stop here please," Taehyung suddenly called, which the driver followed.

Once the limo was pulled over, Taehyung opened the door and the three of you got out. You were near your apartment and you realized they intended to walk you home instead of dropping you off.

Standing in between the two of them, they both held your hands as you began to walk.

"You...really suit that dress," Jungkook complimented you, nearly making you gasp in surprise. Maybe it was the alcohol making him even more loose lipped and open than usual.

"It really does, you picked it well," Taehyung added, beaming from ear to ear.

"You picked it out, Jungkook?" You asked, looking over at him. His ears were flushed as he avoided your gaze. He didn't answer but you still smiled, squeezing his hand. "Thank you. I really love it."

"You do?" He asked, peeking through his bangs at you.

"I really do!" You grinned.

"I'm glad," He breathed, visibly relaxing as you continued your walk.

"Can I ask you guys something?" You asked.

"Sure," Taehyung responded immediately.

"How are two Doms together like you are?" You hoped you wouldn't offend them. It seemed you didn't as Taehyung smiled.

"It just takes a lot of communication and understanding. Kook and I grew up together and our relationship happened more organically than being assigned to one another. We are technically together but it's not completely...legal until a submissive is involved," He explained swiftly.

"I see..." You smiled, squeezing his hand as the three of you stopped in front of your apartment complex. "Well I'm glad I was matched with the two of you!"

"It was a really nice time tonight, _____," Jungkook said. "Don't forget to fill out the tracker tonight, okay? It's really important."

"Will do," You smiled.

The three of you stood together in silence, albeit a little awkward. You met their gazes and slowly released their hands. You really didn't want to go, you wanted the night to continue and you wanted their company to remain.

"_____," Taehyung stopped you from turning your back to them.

When you turned around, you were pulled into a fierce kiss. You immediately relaxed into it, wrapping your arms around his neck the deeper it went. Before it could go on too long, he pulled away.

You were quickly lured into another kiss — with Jungkook. You could taste the alcohol on his lips but you didn't mind. He was rougher than Taehyung, wrapping his hand in your hair as he deepened it.

Pulling away, he smirked. "We'll see you later, kitten."

Flushing, you barely noticed Taehyung kissing your forehead before they both departed. Holding your hand against your chest, you could feel how it was racing.

Finally in the comfort of your apartment, you kicked your heels off. The way your feet ached reminded you that the lovely night wasn't all an alcohol-induced fantasy.

Sitting on your couch, you jumped when your phone went of. Excited in the hopes of seeing Taehyung's name, you sighed when you saw it was just the Agency. But Jungkook's words echoed in your mind; 'Don't forget to fill out the tracker tonight, okay? It's really important.'

From: MinHope Matching Agency This is an automated message, please do not respond. Your date has been marked as over. Please fill out the progress tracker linked here.

As expected, it was a survey.

1. Was your third date satisfactory? — Yes

2. Do you feel that you and your partner(s) need additional dates? — No

3. Can you say that you feel you could be the Dominant/Submissive to your partner(s)? — Yes

After submitting it, you immediately received a phone call from Jung Hoseok. You didn't even have a chance to read the end screen that had popped up.

"H-Hello?" You asked, scrambling to pick up.

"Good evening, Miss. _____. The three of you have all filled out your survey and agreed additional dates were unnecessary," You grinned, happy to hear you all agreed. "So, in that case, I'd like to ask you to come to the building. Please report to my office tomorrow at noon on the dot, if you don't mind."

"I'll be there!" You replied, positively beaming with excitement.

"See you then!" Hoseok chirped before hanging up.

You swiftly entered the office of Jung Hoseok, smiling when you saw Taehyung and Jungkook already sitting there. At Hoseok's motion, you took a seat between the two of them.

"You all agreed extra dates aren't necessary," Hoseok said, folding his hands in his lap. "And from your other feedback, I take it the matching was a success."

The three of you answered with a chorus of 'yes' to which Hoseok positively beamed at. He opened a drawer on his desk, pulling out three papers, handing one to each of you.

"This is a contact...binding the union," He said, wiggling his brows with a grin on his face. "All you need to do is sign and you will be legally matched as Dom-Sub-Dom!"

You bit your lip, your hand was shaking as you signed your name. It wasn't from nerves, however, but excitement.

The three of you handed your papers to Hoseok and he smiled, placing them beside his computer,

"That's all I needed from you today. You have one final date — on the house as celebration," Hoseok said. "I advise you use this final date to make living arrangements and other important things."

To your surprise, your fourth date was at the same restaurant that you'd had your first meeting in. Thankfully, there was none of the awkwardness that was there in the past. Jungkook was grinning and cracking jokes as the three of you shared a dessert.

"We want to be crystal clear transparent with you, _____," Taehyung said, placing his glass of water down. "I won't beat around the bush so I'll just tell you that...we want you to move in with us."

"Alright," You agreed easily, grinning at the two of them. "But I have a condition."

"What is it?" Jungkook asked.

"I also want to keep my apartment," You said.

"Why?" Jungkook and Taehyung asked at the same time. "You'll have all you'll need with us." Taehyung asked.

"I know that, but I just...want a place of my own. For work," You shrugged, picking at the cake on your plate.

"Alright..." Jungkook and Taehyung shared a look, one that your missed. "If that's what you want."

You sighed, dropping your bags on the floor of the master bedroom. It smelled heavenly inside, a sweet mixture of both their scents. The room had a view looking over the city, and with the sun setting it was a heavenly light of orange and reds.

"Welcome home, princess," Jungkook whispered, walking closer to you.

Ever since you had been legally together, they'd opened their Dominant sides to you. You hadn't been able to experience it in the bedroom yet, but the way they would give you nicknames and touch you just exuded power.

"Thank you..." You whispered, feeling yourself grow more antsy the closer he was.

"Eyes up, baby," He gripped your chin, making you look at him. "Thank you what?"

You grew breathless, remembering the title he wanted you to call him by. "Th-Thank you, Sir."

"Good girl," You keened under the praise, your cheeks growing hot. "Let's go see Tae, he's got something for you."

"Y-Yes Sir," You choked out, trying to ignore the way calling him that set your body alight.

He took your hand and escorted you out of the bedroom to the living room. You were shocked to find Taehyung standing in the middle of the room, by the large windows, holding a jewelry box in his hands.

"Come here, babygirl," He beckoned you over with Jungkook in tow. "It took us a lot of time to pick this out and we hope you'll like it."

He held it out for you and with trembling hands, you lifted the lid up to find a choker encrusted with an assortment of jewels, making it glisten and shine in the diminishing sunlight. Your eyes were as wide as saucers as you took the dangling pendant and found two engravings — JJK on one side and KTH on the other.

"I don't know if you did this with your last Dom but," Jungkook took it out of the box, allowing Taehyung to put it down. "It's kind of something we really wanted to do."

"You're collaring me?" You asked, feeling tears prick your eyes as you gazed at them in wonder.

"Of course we are," Taehyung chuckled, lifting your hair from around your neck so Jungkook could hook it onto you. "You're ours and this shows it."

"Thank you..." You choked out, leaning forward to press a kiss to Taehyung's lips before turning around to give the same to Jungkook.

"Our pleasure," Taehyung smiled, moving closer to you once again.

Pressed between both of their bodies, you could help the way your body reacted. Your lips met Taehyung’s again and you whimpered. Jungkook took the opportunity to press his lips against your neck, skimming them over the collar now around your neck. He hands gripped your waist, pulling your shirt up ever so slightly to touch the skin that became exposed. Goosebumps arose across your skin and you gasped into Taehyung's mouth. The elder chuckled, reaching down to where Jungkook's deft fingers explored to tug up the hem of your shirt.

Already, you could feel your mind turning fuzzy, easily falling into your submissive roll to let them mold you how they wanted. Jungkook chuckled as you lifted your arms, allowing Taehyung to pull your shirt off. Left in your bra, you couldn't help but cover your chest as vulnerability set in.

"None of that, kitten," Jungkook growled, ripping your arms away from your chest. "You wanna be a good girl for us right? Let us take care of you?"

"Y-Yes Sir..." You whined, whining when Taehyung leaned down pressing kisses against your chest above the seam of your bra. Gasping, you pushed your chest out to get more of the feeling.

"What a sweet girl," Taehyung cooed, falling to his knees in front of you.

You couldn't help but lace your fingers through his hair. He pressed his lips against your stomach, his tongue sneaking out to leave a wet path all the way from your ribs to the band of your jeans.

You held your breath as Jungkook reached behind you, unclipping your bra and letting it fall away.

"Fuck," He breathed into your ear, eagerly reaching up and cupping them both in his hands. "Such pretty tits, huh Tae?"

"Fuck yeah," Taehyung groaned, quickly undoing the button of your jeans and tugging them down.

You leaned back, using Jungkook as support to help Taehyung pull your jeans off completely. He tossed them away in a heap nearby and without wasting a second, his mouth was on your core. The fabric of your panties impeded feeling his mouth on your fully but as he slid his tongue over your slit and caught your clit, you let out a soft moan.

"What a good girl for us," Jungkook groaned, hands still cupping your breasts. He pinched your nipples, making your back arch as you cried out.

"Sir! P-Please do that again," You whined, unsure if you wanted to watch the way Jungkook worked your breasts or watch the way Taehyung continued to eat you out through your panties.

They were wet and sticking to you perfectly by now — the white now transparent with a mixture of his saliva and your own juices. He groaned suddenly, reaching up and tugging your panties down your legs until you stepped out of them.

Finally naked, he took a minute to look you over.

"You are...absolutely spectacular," He breathed, harshly pulling one of your legs over his shoulder.

"Daddy!" You cried as his tongue slid through your folds. He moaned at the unimpeded taste of your cunt. Circling your entrance, he eagerly tasted everything you had to offer.

You clutched his hair, already beginning to tremble by the time he finally latched onto your swollen clit. You couldn't help but grind your hips down to meet his hot mouth.

His tongue was hot and wet as they slid through your folds. Suddenly, Jungkook reached down and pushed the elders head away. As Taehyung pulled away still licking his lips, his eyes were dark and hazy. Before you could complain, Jungkook placed a well-aimed slap across your vulnerable cunt.

"Fuck!" You shrieked, spasming when he gave you another one. "Sir I—!"

"Watch your mouth and don't be greedy," Jungkook growled.

"S-Sir?" You whimpered, looking up at him with teary eyes.

"You take what Taehyung gives you first of all," Jungkook muttered, soothing his hand over your wet folds where he had hit you to soothe the sting. "And good girls don't say bad words do they?"

"N-No Sir," You sniffled. "I'll be good, I promise."

"I know you will, babygirl," He sighed, nodding to Taehyung to let him resume. "We just want to make you feel good. We don't want to have to punish you."

"Th-Thank you Sir," You whispered, eyes rolling back into your head when Taehyung used two long fingers to spread your folds open for his greedy tongue.

"Don't just thank me. I'm not the one eating your pretty little cunt, am I?" Jungkook chuckled, reaching up to glide his thumbs over your perked nipples.

"Ah, th-thank you Daddy!" You cried, your hips jerking when his tongue swirled around your clit.

"Thank you for what, baby?" Taehyung asked, dark eyes gazing through his bangs.

"Th-Thank you f-for eating my p-pussy..." You breathed, your mouth falling open as you trailed off in a moan. Taehyung's entire mouth enveloped your core, sucking your clit harshly. His moans vibrated against the bud and you broke off into a sob.

You could feel your high building, reaching the point of no return. The more his tongue stimulated you, the higher you rose. All you could think was that you couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't cum without permission.

You wanted to be a good girl.

"D-Daddy?!" You cried, reaching down to tug at his soft locks.

"What is it?" He asked, pulling away just slightly.

"C-Can I cum?" You panted, eyes unfocused as he continued to lick your sensitive clit.

"Hmm..." He hummed against it, making you sob once again before he pulled away. "I don't know. Kook, what do you think?"

"I don't think she deserves it," Jungkook snapped, reaching up to wrap his hand lightly around your throat. The pressure was a threat, just barely enough to cause any air restriction.

"Mmm, I don't think so either," Taehyung chuckled when you whined in complaint as he pulled away and stood up. "A good girl doesn't get her cunt spanked, huh?"

"But—!" Jungkook's grip around your throat tightened, cutting your argument off.

"Right?" Taehyung hissed, his nose just barely brushing yours.

Your felt your mind go fuzzy, your eyes falling heavy the harder Jungkook squeezed. Just before it felt like your mind was going to go blank, he let go and you gasped for air.

"R-Right Daddy," You coughed, eyes tearing up as you choked out the words.

"Good girl," He smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

It was fleeting and you didn't get a chance to return it before he was walking away to walk down the hall in the direction of the bedroom.

"Let's go, babygirl," Jungkook whispered, his warmth leaving your back as he followed after the elder. You watched as he disappeared from view, leaving you alone and naked in the living room with your juices running down your legs from your denied orgasm.

With trembling legs, you stumbled down the hallway into the bedroom. Your heart stuttered in your chest as you found the two of them locked in a soft kiss. Jungkook was sitting on the bed with Taehyung leaning over him, cupping the back of his head to control the kiss.

They had both been stripped of their shirts. Jungkook wore his pair of sweats and Taehyung was in a pair of black boxer-briefs.

"Hmm?" Jungkook pulled away, glancing towards you standing unsteadily in the doorway. "Look at that, Tae. Look how fucked out she already is. It's almost pathetic."

"I think it's cute," Taehyung teased, smirking when you squeezed your thighs together to alleviate the pressure in your core as the stared at your exposed body.

"Come here then, babygirl," Jungkook sighed, scooting up the bed so his back rested against the headboard.

You scrambled onto the bed, crawling up to him on all fours. He chuckled, petting your head softly as he met your teary eyes. The way your bottom lip wobbled indicating how completely under their control you'd become.

"Tell us baby," Jungkook whispered. "Do you remember the safe word?"

"R-Red," You whispered, licking your lips as you stared at his exposed chest.

"Good girl," He cooed, grinning when you keened under the praised immediately. "Sit in my lap. Face Tae."

You did as you were told, your back resting comfortably against his chest. Sitting between his legs, you could feel how hard his cock was beneath you. You shifted, subtly grinding against him.

"Fuck," Jungkook groaned, his head falling onto your shoulder as he gripped your waist to stop your movements almost immediately. "You better behave."

"Y-Yes Sir..." You whispered.

"Spread your legs nice and wide," Taehyung suddenly ordered, still standing at the foot of the bed.

Your breathing picked up as you did as you were told. Resting your weight against Jungkook behind you, you let your legs fall open completely. Both men groaned as your cunt was exposed to both of them fully.

Jungkook reached down, spreading your folds open so your entrance was vulnerable to their greedy eyes. You whined, feeling yourself clench and gush around nothing. You were so wet, absolutely dripping and your clit was throbbing as it begged for attention.

Taehyung finally climbed onto the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.

In the blink of an eye, two long, thick fingers were sheathed as deep as possible into your tight hole. Your back arched as you stared at the ceiling, white danced in your vision. You couldn't make a sound as Taehyung crooked his fingers up to find your g-spot.

Having been denied an orgasm several moments ago, you were already close once again. Taehyung pumped his fingers in and out, scraping against your spot with every movement. You reached down, wrapping your arms beneath your knees to keep yourself open for him.

"Look at that," Jungkook cooed. "What a good girl!"

"Daddy! Please!" You cried, your eyes stinging with tears as you realized you couldn't cum from just this.

"What is it baby?" Taehyung drawled, speeding the pace he pounded his fingers into you.

"Please, please, please..." You sobbed, your legs trembling so hard it was visible to the both of them.

"Can't cum baby?" Jungkook asked, voice dark with laughter. "Need someone to touch your little clit to cum, hm?"

"Yes please!" You whined, tossing your head back to look at him with watery eyes.

Both of them fell silent, the only sounds were your broken cries and the wet sound of Taehyung fingering your pussy. You were wound tight, so close to your release but unable to fall over the edge. It just kept building and building to painful heights before you finally felt a tear trickle down your cheek.

Immediately, Taehyung's fingers were pulled out and you fell limp. You were panting, trembling and sniffling at the second denied orgasm.

You wanted to cum so badly — you needed to cum.

"Fuck, you're such a good girl for us," Taehyung praised, crawling over you to press a kiss to your lips.

You leaned up into the kiss, deepening it as you searched for comfort after the intense orgasm you were just denied.

"We love you so much," Jungkook added, stroking your sweat-slicked hair out of your face.

They both waited for you to catch your breath, making sure that you were willing to go on. When you gave them the go ahead, they both resumed their dominant roles.

"Bet you wanna cum so fuckin' bad huh?" Jungkook asked, as you trembled before the two of them.

"S-So bad, Sir," You whimpered. The way the two of them stood at the foot of the bed watching you made you feel helpless and small. Their eyes were dark with lust and they both wore shit eating smirks that showed you just who was in control.

Your mind felt muddled, riddled with fuzz and it sounded like rushing water in your ears. It felt like you were floating, like the whole world had vanished around you and the only people in existence were you, Jungkook, and Taehyung.

"You've been a good girl," Jungkook licked his lips, hooking his thumbs into the band of his sweats. His cock was exposed for the first time and you let out a needy whimper. He was so hard, the tip a purple-red as it leaked precum from the slit. As he kicked the sweats away, he wrapped his hand around his shaft and slowly began to pump himself. He slathered the precum down his length as lubrication. "Turn over on your stomach."

"Yes Sir," You rolled yourself over on trembling arms and knees so your ass was presented to him.

The bed dipped beside you and you found Taehyung, naked as the two of you, crawling to kneel in front of you.

His cock immediately had your mouth watering. He was long and thick, precum dripping from the tip as he rested it before your lips.

"Oh? You wanna suck my cock, babygirl?" He asked, looking down at you with a smirk.

"Y-Yes please Daddy," You whispered, licking your lips as you imagined the taste of him on your tongue.

"So polite..." He chuckled, swiping the very tip of his cock across your lips before pulling away.

You licked your lips, moaning when you tasted the bitter tang of his precum immediately. You nearly forgot about Jungkook until the blunt, hot head of his cock was prodding at your entrance.

"F-Fu—Sir..." You cut yourself off from cussing, not wanting to be punished for it.

"So tight..." Jungkook growled as he began to sink into you.

Unable to hold your head up, you muffled your long moan into the covers beneath you. He seemed to go on for ages, more and more filling you up until his hips were flush with your highs and his cock was kissing your cervix.

"God...you're taking me so deep..." Jungkook groaned, spreading your cheeks apart to get a look at the way your entrance was stretched to accommodate him.

"C'mon babygirl," Taehyung mumbled, grabbing a fistful of your hair to pull your head up from the covers.

Immediately, you leaned forward to envelop the hot head of his cock in your mouth. Taehyung's reaction was instantaneous, tossing his head back and groaning as you swirled your tongue around the tip to gather all the peaking precum you could.

Behind you, Jungkook began a slow pace — getting you used to being filled like you were once again. You arched your back, eager to have more of him inside you.

You took Taehyung as deep as you could, pushing against your gag-reflex until you choked on him and had to pull back. His hand was still wrapped in your hair, shallowly thrusting his hips against your mouth.

The two of them let out moans and groans of pleasure — getting off on your body. Your eyes were closed, unable to keep them open throught he onslaught of pleasure attacking your body.

Jungkooks cock, thick and hot as it stretched you open nailed your g-spot every time he sunk himself inside you. His large hands gripped your hips, using them as leverage to slam himself as deep as possible. Every time his brushed your cervix, your body tightened up at the pain-pleasure it gave you.

"Relax your throat," Taehyung suddenly ordered, making you open your eyes.

Your vision was doubled through both the fuzz muddling up your mind and the tears that had begun to build from choking around him. Still, you did as you were told, relaxing your throat completely and letting your eyes slide closed again.

"No, keep them open," He growled, tugging your hair roughly until your eyes fluttered open again. It was hard to do as Jungkook continued to fuck you roughly. "Look at me while I fuck your throat."

You mumbled incoherently around him, blinking slowly as you met his eyes. He was smirking, an almost cruel look in his eyes as he slowly began to sink his cock all the way into your throat. You went to pull back as you choked around him, your gag-reflex kicking in, but his grip on your hair had you held in place. You felt your eyes roll in the back of your head when he was fully sheathed in your throat.

"Swallow," He ground out, teeth clenched.

You did was you were told, feeling tears spill past and drip down your cheeks. Taehyung groaned, pulling back slowly only to repeat the process.

Your mind was assaulted by everything you were feeling, Jungkook's cock stretching you open and Taehyung's fat cock stuffed down your throat. You couldn't think of anything beyond being on the bed speared on both men's cocks.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum," Jungkook groaned, his hips beginning to stutter.

Quickly, Taehyung yanked your mouth off his cock, leaving you gasping for air as Jungkook fucked himself into you at an almost brutal pace. The younger reached up, gripping you by the shoulder for leverage as his orgasm began to crest. He sunk himself balls-deep, a flood of his cum filling your spasming cunt. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you with every wave of his orgasm.

"Fuck baby!" He moaned, head tossed back in pleasure.

His body was stiff for several long, drawn out seconds as his cock began to soften. When he pulled out, his cum gushed out as your cunt uncontrollably clenched.

"Oh look at that...you're wasting my cum, kitten," He tsked, watched as his cum stained the bedding.

"Guess the only thing to do is to plug up that gushing cunt huh?" Taehyung chastised.

Before you knew it, the two of them were switching places and you were rolled over onto your back. You realized your arms had been falling asleep. They tingled as you finally pulled your weight off them. The pain was put on the back burner as Taehyung's cock was quickly sheathed in your hot core.

He was thicker and longer than Jungkook, unable to sink completely inside you. There was brief burning as he stretched you more than you had been but your excess arousal mixed with Jungkook cum offered perfect lubricant. Your eyes rolled as you cried out reaching up to grip Jungkook's thick thighs for leverage. He let you, watching with a tired look in his eyes as Taehyung fucked you eagerly for his own orgasm.

"You've been so good, babygirl," Jungkook praised, cupping your bouncing breasts in his warm hands.

"Such a good girl," Taehyung added, his skin slapping against yours loudly. "I think you deserve to cum, yeah?"

"Yes...yes please!" You shrieked, energy renewed with the promise of your long awaited orgasm dangling in front of you.

"Alright, baby, you can cum," Jungkook cooed, sliding his hand from your breasts, past your ribs, down your stomach to rest his digits on your hard clit.

"Taking this fat cock so well," Taehyung growled, voice deeper than you'd ever heard it. "Go ahead and cream on me like a good fucking girl."

Your whole body seemed to lock up as your orgasm reached it's peak. It felt like ages before the first wave truly began to roll over you. Jungkook held your body close to him as you trembled violently through the high. Your eyes were wide but unseeing as Taehyung continued to brutally fuck you through the almost painful orgasm wracking through your sensitive body.

Jungkook's fingers didn't cease dancing over your little bud, even as a sob tore itself through your throat.

Just as it felt like your high was ending, another wave washed over you. Taehyung suddenly froze, bottomed out as deep as he could go, before he came inside you. His cum mixed with Jungkooks, leaking past your entrance to join the already made mess beneath you. Feeling him cum so much inside you, you felt one last gush from your orgasm — wetness raining down on the three of you.

The room fell still, Jungkooks trembling digits falling away from your clit as Taehyung pulled out of you. You were panting, mouth open as your chest heaved from the strongest orgasm you'd ever experienced in your life. It felt like your entire body was weighed down with lead but you felt your cunt clench again when Taehyung scooped up a dollop of escaped cum.

He looked as his fingers for a second before popping them in his mouth. His eyes rolled as he moaned, unable to hold himself back. You could've nearly cried when he suddenly leaned down so his face was at your heat again.

He thankfully kept his licks light, knowing how incredibly sensitive you would be after the orgasm you'd just had. He ate out all the cum he possible could for several seconds.

Then, above your recovering body, he met Jungkook for a sloppy kiss. Shockingly, another wave of arousal flashed through you as you watched them share the cum Taehyung just ate out of you.

You closed your eyes, unable to keep them open anymore as their moaning faded into darkness.

You sat down at a spare table, your laptop open in front of you as you browsed through your emails. With both Jungkook and Taehyung working, you felt a little lonely at the penthouse so you decided to surround yourself with people. Sipping on a drink you'd ordered, you failed to notice the approaching figure coming towards your table.

"Excuse me," You tore your gaze from your laptop screen to meet her eyes. She was tall with short black hair. "Are you _____ by chance?"

"Um yes that's me," You watched as she glanced over her shoulder before taking the empty chair across from you. You followed her gaze, finding nobody where she had been looking. "Can I help you?"

"You're Taehyung and Jungkook's sub right?"

Her words caught you off guard and you couldn't help but stutter. "H-How did you—"

"I have a friend," She said, shaking her head. "That's not what's important. My name is Park Soomin, do you know me?"

"I can't say that I do..." You slowly closed your laptop, realizing you weren't going to be getting anymore done.

Soomin sighed, appearing dejected by the news. "I figured they wouldn't' tell you...but I'd at least expected them to tell you they had another sub before..."

"Wait what? Repeat that again?" You nearly knocked your drink off the table as he leaned closer to her.

"They had an submissive before you," She mumbled, twiddling her thumbs nervous. Once again, she took a glance around the room over her shoulders. "

"And you're telling me...that someone was you?" You scoffed, leaning back with your arms crossed. "You got any proof?"

"Oh! Sure," You held in a sigh, having hoped she'd fail to have any. "Here you go."

She slid a worn, crumpled piece of paper in front of you. You flipped it over, revealing the matching information for when they were together along with the termination. They separated over two years before you matched with them. Typically, the information on separation was kept confidential so you took all the time you had to read what the paper said.

Termination reason: Party revealed to exhibit toxic behavior in relationship.

"What does that mean?" You asked, pointing to the part you had just read.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you," She sighed, taking the paper back and folding it up. "Taehyung and Jungkook aren't what they seem to be!"

"What do you mean?" Your voice was shaky, filled with anxiety of what she would disclose. You'd only been legally together for 6 months, there was obviously a lot you still had to learn about them.

"They like to play with your feelings," She whispered, her own voice beginning to wobble. "They make you fall in love with them and then they just cruelly rip the rug out from under you and laugh when it hurts."

"Th-They haven't done anything to hurt me, though," You argued, knowing just how weak you sounded.

She smiled sympathetically, placing her hand over yours. "They haven't yet. But you have to face it, _____. They've been together all their lives, they're rich and successful. How much room is there for you really?"

"I..." Her words cut you deep, digging up insecurities you didn't even know existed.Tears stung your eyes, they were nearly impossible to hold back and the last thing you wanted to do was cry in the middle of the cafe. "I have to go."

You threw your laptop into your bag, didn't even bother to put your coat on properly before you ran out of the cafe. Belatedly, you realized you didn't throw your drink away. Wiping your eyes, you caught the tears before they actually managed to fall.

"Hey wait!" You heard a shrill cry, followed by loud clicking of heels. Turning around, you were met with Soomin, panting and still holding that sympathetic smile. "Take my number. I know how it feels to be where you are now. Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Th-Thank you Soomin," You sniffled, tucking the paper in your pocket before turning and heading on your way once again.

By the time you got home, the hurt had ebbed away in quiet anger and humiliation. They had lied to you and just acted like they hadn't hid their past while you had laid it all out for them.

Whipping out your phone, you brought up your group chat with them.

To: Babe-Group [5:19PM] When will you be home?

Immediately there was an answer from Jungkook claiming they were on their way home at that moment. Deciding not to sit there and wait for them, you removed the makeup you'd applied for the day and put your neatly done hair into a messy bun. You sat on the bed, mindlessly playing an Idle-Tap game to pass the time.

Nearly a half hour passed before the door opened and the melodious laughter of your boyfriends filled the space.

"Baby, we're home!" Taehyung called.

As you entered the living room, frown set in place, you realized they had stopped to get some takeout.

"Got your favorite, sweetheart!" Jungkook said, reaching into the bags to pull out Chicken Bulgogi.

For some reason, it was the last straw for the bad day and before you knew it, the tears you'd been fighting off finally trickled down your face. Sniffling loudly, you used your sweater sleeve to wipe your eyes dry only for more to take their place.

"Whoa, hey, what is it?" Taehyung gasped, rushing over to you in hopes to console you.

"Y-You lied to me!" You shrieked, turning your crying into a teary glare.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jungkook asked, rounding the couch to meet you and Taehyung in the hallway.

"Soomin," You spat out her name, watching them like hawks.

As expected, the both of them stiffened with their eyes wide. Mouths open, they shared a look and even with no words said, it gave you exactly what you needed to know.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?!" You cried.

"Baby, we didn't—"

"No! I don't want to hear it!" You snapped, turning your back on them and stomping down the hallway to the bedroom. They followed close behind you, barging into the room after you.

"Just let us explain!" Jungkook growled, obviously growing frustrated with your anger.

"Why? So you can lie to me again?!" You argued. "She told me about you two, you know?"

"What are you talking about?" Taehyung asked, appearing more calm than Jungkook.

"That you like to play around, you're not serious!" You choked out, wiping your running nose with your sleeve. "Th-That you don't think there's any room between the two of you for a sub. A-And I should have known that!"

"_____, you're being ridiculous!" Jungkook snapped.

They both watched helplessly as you began to pack a bag of your clothes.

"You can't leave," Taehyung gasped, moving to grab your bag from your hands.

"I can do what I please! I'm not going to stay here and have you lie to me and play cruel games with my feelings!" You stormed past them, holding in your sobs as you did your best to ignore their efforts to change your mind.

"_____, baby, you've got to believe us that's not what we were doing at all!" Taehyung cried, chasing after you all the way to the door.

"Why won't you listen to us? Give us a minute to explain!" Jungkook added, stopping as you walked out of the door.

"You had your chance to explain everything to me months ago. How am I meant to trust you when you hid it from me?" You scoffed, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. "There had to have been a reason you hid it from me and right now I have every reason to believe what she told me is why. You just wanted to play your stupid games and make a fool of me."

"_____!" They both shouted until you disappeared into the closest elevator.

You crash onto your bed, the sad single person bed you'd left behind for Taehyung and Jungkook. Crying into your pillow seemed so childish but there you were, doing just that. Your phone rang and rang, indicating numerous text messages and phone calls that simply went ignored.

When you woke up in the morning, you unlocked your phone to find tons of notifications. Still feeling the ache of their betrayal weighing heavily on your heart and mind, you dismissed them all and put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode for the day.

Deciding you deserved to treat yourself, you made yourself presentable and headed over to the local ice-cream shop. You sat on the stool with a sigh, reading the menu overhead on the wall.

"What can I get you?" A familiar voice mumbled, sounding entirely unenthused. However, when you made eye-contact with him, his eyes lit up. "______?"

"Daehoon..." You choked. "U-Uh just get me a plain vanilla in a waffle cone, please."

"Sure," He smiled, turning around to begin making your order. "I have to say it's pretty surprising to see you here!"

"Um yeah, ditto," You replied, feeling the relaxation you had been cultivating ebb away into quiet tension.

He seemed unaware of your unenthusiastic response to seeing him as he handed your ice-cream with a smile. "You know, I tried to contact you after we broke up but your number was out of service."

"Yeah I uhh...I changed it," You shrugged, licking your sweet treat.

"I figured," He smiled, leaning on the counter on his elbows in front of you. "I wanted to apologize for the way we ended. I didn't treat you right and I am man enough to admit that to you."

"Um...thanks Daehoon," You sighed, finally meeting his gaze.

"So you're still living around here, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah I...it's a nice place to live," You replied, desperately trying to end the conversation. "You know, I really ought to go. I just came to grab a cone and I should get going. What do I owe you?"

"Oh it's on the house!" He shrugged with a smile.

You sighed, reaching into your wallet and pulling out a ₩5000 and placing it on the table. You figured that ought to cover it before turning and leaving.

As you sat up late that night, going through emails you were behind on, you heard your doorbell ring. Glancing at the time, it read 10:20 PM and you could feel yourself already growing annoyed at having a visitor at that time.

"It's really late—" You froze as you opened the door to a familiar grinning face. "Daehoon. What the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"I-I had a friend tell me you l-live in this building!" You quickly realized he was drunk. He was slurring and swaying where he stood. "I figured if I rang enough doors I wo-would either find you or someone would t-tell me where you w-were."

"Okay but why the hell did you come here?" You snapped, already feeling impatient over this inconvenient encounter.

"Y-You never said i-if you forgive me..." He hiccuped after he finished and you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"Yes, alright, I forgive you. Now would you please leave?" You begged.

"Alright b-but...one more thing," Before you could register what was happening, he was cupping your cheeks and planting a sloppy kiss on your lips. It took a quick second for your mind to catch up with you and when it did, you violently pulled yourself away and slammed the door in his face without saying anything. You could hear him mumble something on the other side of the door but couldn't hear him nor did you know if he was even talking to you.

Still, you heaved a sigh of relief when you looked through the peephole to find him gone.

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was your phone lighting up. Realizing it was still on DND, you grabbed it and unlocked it. However, a text notification from an unknown number with a picture attachment.

As you opened it, you shot up straight in bed at what you saw.

It was a picture of you and Daehoon standing in the hallway in front of your apartment. And you were kissing.

To: Unknown [9:47AM] Who is this?

From: Unknown [9:48AM] Guess.

You glared at the phone number as if it would tell you itself who it was. As you looked at the last 4 digits, you realized you recognize the number. Scrambling out of bed, you dug in the bag you'd brought from the penthouse that contained your clothes. Pulling out your favorite pair of jeans, you fished in the front pocket for a piece of paper.

"Ah ha!" You unfolded the slip, looking at the phone number closely. Pulling your phone off the bed where you left it, you opened the text thread again.

To: Unknown [9:51AM] Soomin.

From: Soomin [9:51AM] Bingo! I bet you're wondering what's going on, yeah?

To: Soomin [9:51AM] You could say that again...

From: Soomin [9:52AM] Well, I'll just say that I'll explain what I really want when you meet me at the cafe we first met at noon.

To: Soomin [9:53AM] And if I don't?

From: Soomin [9:53AM] You wouldn't want Tae and Kook to get an eyeful of you locking lips with your ex, would you?

You sighed, realizing now where this was going.

To: Soomin [9:53AM] Alright...I'll be there.

From: Soomin [9:54AM] That's what I thought.

You locked your phone, not bothering to give a final response. You opened your group chat with your doms, not bothering to read the numerous texts they'd sent again. Deciding against telling them, you locked your phone and slumped down on the floor defected, feeling hopeless and anxious as you wanted for noon to roll around.

When you walked in, the once-comforting atmosphere only offered tense anxiety. Soomin sat in the corner, scrolling through her phone when you approached.

"To be honest, I thought you weren't going to show," She beamed, putting her phone away as she offered you a seat.

"I was going to if you hadn't threatened me," You grumbled as you sat. "Now what do you want? Money?"

"Oh no I don't need any money," She waved her hand. "I want them back."

"Pardon?"

"They're meant to be mine and I want them back," Her pleasant tone disappeared. "Break up with them so I can have them instead. That's it. Simple right?"

"Y-You're crazy..." You whispered, sitting back in your seat in pure disbelief. "A scheme like that wouldn't possibly work."

"Well you left them anyway right? You're staying at your old apartment," She shrugged.

"How did—" The pieces suddenly clicked. "Daehoon."

"Bingo!" She giggled. "It's a win-win scenario really. You get out of a toxic relationship and I get them back."

"If they're so toxic why do you want them so badly?" You narrowed your eyes, watching as she froze. Laughing in disbelief, you spat. "It was you who was cited for toxic behavior. Because you're actually insane!"

"And you're a little fool!" She snapped, slamming her hands on the table as she leaned in closer. "You believed everything I told you. You proved you didn't trust them and now they'll never take you back because the biggest key for a relationship like that to work is trust."

"And yet you think they'll take you back?" You scoffed, shaking your head. "You really are crazy."

"Of course they will. I'll make sure of it." She growled.

"Okay so," You stood up, shaking your head. "I've had enough of this. I'm leaving."

"So you'll do it?" She asked.

"Absolutely not," You snapped, turning your back to her.

It was dark out when you were awoken by your doorbell going off over and over again. It was obnoxious to the point you wanted to ignore it but the more they pressed, the longer you realized you couldn't take it that long. So with a big sigh, you heaved yourself out of bed and to the living room. The loud ringing made your temples throb. Finally, you jerked the door open fully ready to chew the person on the other side out. Before you got the chance to open your mouth, you were being knocked out of the way as your boyfriends barrelled inside.

"So you made a huge fucking scene for this bullshit huh?" Jungkook shouted, storming down the hallway towards your bedroom. "Where is he?!"

"What? Where's who?!" You cried, looking at Taehyung who only stared on blankly.

"Your fucking ex," Jungkook snarled as he came back out.

"Daehoon? H-He's not here what the fuck? Why would he be?" You snapped, growing fed up with Jungkook's behavior.

"Oh I don't know," Taehyung finally spoke, unlocking his phone. "Maybe because of this."

Your heart leapt into your throat at the photo of Daehoon kissing you flashed on Taehyung's screen. You could feel your pulse begin to race in panic as you realized exactly what they thought.

"I-It's not what you think..." You stuttered, attempting to defend yourself.

"Oh yeah that's a good one," Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. "See what we think...is that you made a huge fucking deal about us not telling you about our ex in order to get away from us and come fucking cheat on us!"

"No!" You cried, shaking your head as tears welled up in your eyes.

"Why should we believe you?" Taehyung asked, voice cold as ice. "You didn't trust us. You didn't believe us."

"Why should we believe you?" Jungkook spat.

"B-Because..." You were at a loss for words, looking desperately between their angry eyes as your own filled and stung with tears.

"I'm surprised you're not trying to deny it's you or something," Jungkook chuckled, looking at the picture. "But I guess you can't...you are wearing our collar huh. A lot that meant..."

You broke into soft sobs as his words cut you deep, making your heart ache. Mindlessly, you reached up to touch the very collar you were wearing — clutching the pendant with their initials desperately.

"We'll be filing for match-termination in the morning," Taehyung said, making his way towards the door.

Jungkook followed the older, turning to look over his shoulder at your before leaving, putting a final nail in the coffin. "We're over _____."

As the door slammed shut, you sunk onto the couch in tears. Leaning over, you sobbed into the arm rest. You cried and cried about the situation you found yourself in. It seemed like you were there for hours before the doorbell went off again — just once. You jumped to your feet, hoping with all your heart that Taehyung and Jungkook had come back.

However, when you opened it, all hopes were crushed to dust as Daehoon stood there with a grin.

"You've been crying..." He sighed, moving to step inside. You stopped him with a hand and he paused. "What is it?"

"What are you doing here?" You growled, feeling your hurt over your boyfriend's turn into fury towards your ex.

"Well I made you upset the other night...so, it's only natural that I come here and talk," He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You know I'm sorry and I'll be better—"

"I know you're part of everything," You snapped.

"Wh-What?" He stuttered, falling stiff.

"Soomin told me you were helping with all of this. Why on earth would I take you back after that?" You were surprised by the coldness in your own voice.

"Sh-She told you?" Daehoon asked, pulling his hands out of his pockets as he lost his cool composure. "That bitch! I should have known she would only be willing to help herself. I should have known she'd use me."

"Just get out Daehoon," You whispered, beginning to shut the door. "Don't contact me again."

That night, you slept sobbing into your pillow.

A notification went off on your phone, indicating a new text message. You could barely gain the energy to reach forward and answer it. The name showed that the manager for your company was texting you — something he rarely did.

From: Manager. Im You've not completed any work in the past week. Our clients are getting impatient on new developments. This job opportunity will vanish before you know it if you don't pick it up.

Sighing, you locked your phone again, unable to find any reason to answer. Before you could put your phone down, you got another text message. The name had your heart shattering as it violently reminded you of what was coming.

Jung Hoseok.

However, as you opened the text, you realized it wasn't anything mentioning your match-termination. Instead, it just read 'fix this'.

You weren't sure what it was but something about those simple two words had you jumping to your feet. Not bothering to really get dressed, you simply threw on your shoes and bolted out of your apartment.

Your feet were screaming in pain by the time you were in front of the penthouse. Fishing into your pocket, you pulled out the key to the front door. As you entered, you could hear their voices drifting from down the hallway. Shutting the door as quietly as possible, you sucked in a deep breath to steel yourself for the confrontation. Feeling your heart pounding heavily, you shuffled your way to the bedroom.

As you peeked into the room, you saw the two of them hugging. Jungkook sat on the bed as Taehyung stood between his legs with his arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Um..." You cleared your throat, startling them into pulling away.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jungkook snarled jumping to his feet.

"I...I just want to talk..." You stepped fully into the room, wrapping your arms around your waist.

"Why would we ever listen to you?" Jungkook snapped, vicious glare fixed on you.

"B-Because...I love you and...I hope you can find it in your heart to listen to me for just a minute?" Your voice became watery as you couldn't hold back the tears welling up in your eyes.

"You're wearing it..." Taehyung whispered, making both you and Jungkook look at him. He walked over to you, reaching up to touch the dangling pendant on your collar. "Say what you need to."

You let out a sigh, feeling even sadder when Taehyung moved away to sit beside Jungkook. The younger didn't argue with Taehyung's decision but he still glared at you.

"You have to believe me...when she told me you kept your ex-sub from me, what else was I supposed to think? She gave me the only reason to believe. I-I was so hurt that you lied to me I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you," You rushed out, wanting to get it out in the open as quickly as possible. "B-But you have to believe me when I tell you I didn't cheat on you with Daehoon. Soomin told me she and Daehoon were working together so she could get you back! He kissed me and I threw him out right away!"

"How did he know where you lived?" Jungkook asked.

"I...I think Soomin found out somehow and told him. He told me that he didn't even know what apartment was mine. Just the building," You replied.

"How did you get in contact with him again?" Taehyung asked, glare softening into a gaze of curiosity.

"I...After we had our fight I was sad so..." You fought a smile. "I went to go get some ice cream and he was working there."

There was a moment of silence, Jungkook and Taehyung sharing a look as the thought your words over. Finally, Taehyung sighed and stood up.

"Alright," You felt yourself relax as he walked over to you. "We'll look into the two of them.

"D-Does this mean you believe me?" You asked, hopeful.

"No way," Jungkook snapped. "Not until there's proof."

"S-So I can't stay here?" You weren't sure why you asked, already knowing the answer.

"We don't fucking want you here," Jungkook growled, standing as well now. Taehyung made no move to stop him as he began to urge you out even as you began to cry. "Just because we're going to look into whatever bullshit you spew doesn't mean we're willing to keep you around."

Standing in the hallway, you let his words sink in. You could feel his glare burning into you and you couldn't stop the sob that tore loose. You turned on your heel and booked it towards the door, eager to escape the heavy, negative energy that filtered around you.

Nighttime rolled around and you sat curled up on the couch watching Disney movies. They gave you an excuse to cry without saying it was because you were hurting.

Three solid knocks pounded on your door and you stood up, not bothering to pause your movie. You didn't bother looking through the peephole, easily opening the door. You were greeted by a splash of red flowers in your face.

"Wha—!" You looked up to find Taehyung nursing a tender smile. "Tae..."

"Let me in?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"O-Oh sure..." You stepped aside to let him in, closing the door as he kicked his shoes off. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you," He replied, handing the bouquet of roses to you.

You wandered to the kitchen, fishing in the cabinets to find a vase. "About?"

"I know Jungkook was harsh," He sighed, leaning against the wall as you filled the transparent pink case with water. "You know he didn't mean that. He's just...hurt."

"It's okay," You shrugged, finally placing the roses in the water. You stood back, admiring them. "You didn't come here to apologize on behalf of Jungkook, Tae."

"You're right," He sighed, taking your hand and leading you into the living room. As you both sat down, he scooted closer to you. "I came to tell you that I believe you."

"You do?" Your eyes began to well with tears again, but for the first time in two weeks it was in relief. "Really?"

"Yes," He smiled, reaching up to cup your cheek. "I love you so much and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm putting my trust in you."

"I-I love you too Taehyung," You sobbed, leaning forward to wrap yourself in his arms. "I won't let you down."

After hugging for several long second, he finally pulled away. Cupping your jaw, he pressed his lips to yours to pull you into a tender kiss.

After hugging for several long seconds, he finally pulled away. Cupping your chin, he pressed his lips to yours to pull you into a tender kiss. It didn't take long for it to deepen, his hand coming around to cup the back of your head. Your hands rested on his chest, standing on your tippy-toes to properly kiss him how you wished.

However, just as you began to lose yourself in his kiss, he tightened his grip in your hair until you whimpered in pain and pulled back.

"You've caused us a lot of heartbreak haven't you babygirl?" His sweet face was gone, replaced by a cold and detached facade.

You whimpered. "Y-Yes Daddy..."

"Are you sorry for what you did?" He asked, looking down at you.

"Y-Yes I'm so sorry, Daddy..." You choked out, wincing when he pulled harder on your hair.

"If you're really sorry, you'll take a punishment like a good girl right?" He asked.

You nodded as much as you could. "Yes, Daddy. I'll be so good. Please punish me, Daddy!"

"On your knees, slut," He growled, almost shoving you to the floor. Resting on your knees, ignoring the way the hard wood dug into you, you looked up at him waiting what he was going to do. "Do you remember your safe word?"

"Red, Daddy," You breathed, voice nothing but a whisper.

"Right."

You nearly pouted when you didn't receive praise before reminding yourself it was a punishment. You kept silent as he began to undo the belt on his slacks, dropping the expensive leather to the floor with a loud clack from the buckle. He unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down, keeping a cold gaze on you the entire time until he pulled his already hard cock from his boxers.

You paused, watching as he wrapped his fist around himself, slowly jerking himself off in front of you.

"Well?" He snapped, making you look away from his beautiful cock.

"Wh-What?" Before you could even register, there was a sharp sting across your cheek followed by a sharp crack. Almost immediately, you felt yourself gush into your panties as you mind became fuzzy.

"Disrespectful little slut," He snarled. "Am I expected to suck my own cock?"

"N-No sir...sorry Daddy," You whispered, licking your lips before scooting closer as you reached for his cock.

"No hands," He sighed before you could touch him. "Use your mouth only."

"Y-Yes sir..." You whispered, opening your mouth wide to take the head of his cock in.

You slowly took more of him in, using as much saliva as you could to make it easier. It dripped down your chin onto your hands that were clenched in your own pajama pants. He fished his hand through your hair again and tilted his head back in a sigh as you took about half of him in. He hit your gag-reflex and you went to move back he stopped you by tugging your hair to put you back in your place.

"You tap out if you need to," He said, dropping the angry glare he had and loosened his grip to stroke your head. "Alright?"

The second you met his eyes and nodded that you understood, the deadly grip was back and his eyes were on fire. Violently, he was yanking your head towards him to force his cock down your throat and past your gag-reflex. You choked immediately, eyes filling with tears. He held you there for a second, groaning as he felt your throat spasm around him with every choke you went through.

As quickly as he did it, he pulled you off again and you gasped for air — a string of spit still connecting your lips with his cock. Before you could gather all your breath, however, his cock was down your throat again.

This time, he used his hips to fuck your mouth — using you to get himself off with no care to how you choked and cried around him. Mindlessly, you reached up to clutch onto his pants tightly. The action made him slow considerably and he carefully watched you. Meeting your eyes, he scoffed, continuing on as if he hadn't stopped to check on you.

"Dirty fucking slut," He snapped. "You're drooling everywhere. You've got it all over me, yourself. You know how much these pants cost, hm? And now they're soaked."

Typically you would apologize, but with the way he was shoving his length in and out of your throat, you were unable to. He was right, though, there was spit dripping down your chin and onto the floor, creating a puddle.

He groaned suddenly, pausing sheathed inside you to feel the way you choked around him. You struggled to get air properly, tears making it impossible to see him clearly. You continued to hold onto his pants for comfort and security as you began to slip further and further away. Noticing the change in your demeanor, how you became more pliant, he pulled out of your throat, making you choke and cough. His grip in your hair relaxed and he ran his fingers through the tangled locks. Though his touch was gentle, he still had those cold eyes.

"Pl-Please punish me more, Daddy," You begged, your throat raw from the brutal fucking.

Taehyung scoffed, backing up a few steps until he dropped himself onto the couch. With one hand, he began to jerk his wet cock off while with the other he began to undo his button-up shirt. With the sleeve of your shirt, you wiped off the excess cum on your lips and chin as you watched him pleasure himself. His head hit the back of the couch, a moan breaking from his lips.

"Even my hand is better than your fucking throat," He scoffed, chuckling at the way you deflated in front of him. "What are you gonna do about that, huh?"

"Wh-Whatever Daddy wants me to," You replied.

He finished unbuttoning his shirt and he paused in his stroking to pull it off and toss it away. Next, he lifted his hips to shove both his pants and boxers off of his legs. Spreading his legs, he used one hand to grip his length and the other to reach between his legs and cup his own balls. He hummed in pleasure, slick sounds from your spit on his cock filling your ears.

You were absolutely soaked, your panties sticking uncomfortably to your core as you sat on your knees before him.

"Stand up," He ordered, which you scrambled to do. You stumbled slightly, your legs had begun to fall asleep. Taehyung chuckled cruelly at your struggle, merely watching you as you swayed on your two feet. "Now strip."

Quick as lightning, you pulled your shirt off — revealing your bare breasts. He commented on the fact you weren't wearing a bra, making you flush as you pushed your pants and panties down until they pooled around your ankles on the floor.

"Look at you, you're actually dripping down your thighs," He teased, making you shift in embarrassment at being caught being so aroused. "You really are a slut."

"Y-Yes Daddy, I'm sorry..." You whispered, slightly shielding yourself by folding your hands in front of yourself.

"You want to be a good girl, right?" He asked.

Your head jerked up immediately and you nodded. "Yes, Daddy! I do!"

"Then come over here and sit on my cock," He let his member go, relaxing into the couch as you stumbled over to him.

You straddled his lap, holding his cock steady as you positioned your aching hole over his tip. You realized you hadn't been prepped, hesitating with his tip resting against your slit. Taehyung regarded you carefully, watching as you struggled to think of what to do. Your mind was racing, thoughts muffled and for a second, you attempted to bring yourself back to the surface. Before you could, however, you were being tugged into Taehyung's chest.

"Daddy!" You cried, eyes rolling back in your head as he sunk three digits into your little hole. It burned, making you writhe, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

"Stupid little girl," He scoffed, sloppily working his fingers in and out of you. "Can't even figure out how to prep yourself huh? Need me to do everything for you?"

"I-I'm sorry Daddy..." You slurred, feeling you drool onto his skin slightly as he abused your g-spot. "'S just so fuzzy..."

"Mmm, I know baby," He cooed, kissing your shoulder so softly you nearly missed it. In a flash, he was pulling his fingers out of you and forcing you to sit up properly again. "Now sit your little cunt on my cock."

Your breath stuttered out as you did as you were told, your eyes crossing as you bottomed out completely. You froze there, your walls spasming and clenching around his member uncontrollably.

"Suh-So good...Daddy..." You whined. "So deep."

"Already losing it?" He asked, gripping your hips to keep you steady on top of him. "My fat cock is almost too much for you isn't it? Makes you lose your mind. Look at you, you're drooling. Such a stupid slut over cock."

"'M a stupid slut," You repeated, resting your hands on his shoulders for leverage as you eagerly began to bounce on his cock.

You were so wet, you could hear it as you fucked yourself on him. Skin slapped against skin and the sound mingled with your moans. Taehyung groaned every time you sunk down on him, hot pussy enveloping him and squeezing him impossibly tight.

"I-I...Can I cum, Daddy?" You mewled, eyes rolling back in your head as the pleasure began to crest in that oh-so familiar way.

"I guess..." Taehyung sighed, sounding almost bored. "But you won't stop until I cum. I don't care how fucking sensitive you get."

"Th-Thank you Daddy," You cried, freezing atop him as you ground down — grinding your clit against his pelvic bone. It was the push you needed, trembling as you came around him. You stopped to catch your breath, blinking blearily as you attempted to come down.

"I didn't say you could fucking stop," Taehyung growled, slapping your cheek so your head snapped to the side.

"S-Sorry Daddy..." You winced as you began to fuck yourself on him again, feeling sensitive after your orgasm. You were determined to be a good girl though, to get him to forgive you, that you desperately began squeezing your walls deliberately around him to pleasure him more.

"Fuck that's good..." You keened under his barely-there praise.

You angled your hips, finding your g-spot with practiced ease. You whined, tossing your head back as you continued to abuse the spot. Your body was covered in sweat and your hair clung to your skin irritatingly. You could feel another orgasm rising and you eagerly reached down to circle your clit, sending you into another shaking orgasm. You dropped your head onto his shoulder as you rode it out, whining out 'daddy' as you did so.

He ran his fingertips along your back, as he gave you just a second before gripping your hips and cruelly fucking himself up into your still clenching hole.

"Daddy!" You cried, digging your nails into has fragile skin.

"What is it, baby?" He asked, tone nowhere sweet and instead condescending.

"S-Sensitive..." You complained, feeling tears prick your eyes.

He laughed, not slowly down as he continued to fuck you. "I told you I don't care. You're just a toy for me to get off on."

His words had another wave of arousal flashing through you, making you clench tightly around him as you gushed. Taehyung chuckled. "You're creaming all over me, dirty girl."

"Daddy..." You sobbed, wrapping your arms around him as you felt another orgasm coming onto you.

Suddenly, everything rolled and you found yourself on your back with Taehyung pinning your thighs open. He gazed between your legs, watching his own cock force itself inside your tight slit.

"Fuck...you can barely even take me," He breathed, his bangs clinging to his forehead. "But you have to take me, isn't that right? Because good girls take their Daddy's cocks nice and deep until they gush, huh?"

"Yes Daddy," You replied, eyes rolling back in your head as your orgasm crested once again.

This time, Taehyung came with you. His cum flooded your cunt, fucking it out of you as more replaced it. He rode out his orgasm, keeping your thighs pinned as they trembled and attempted to close against the onslaught of overstimulation.

Before long, he was slowing to a stop but kept his cock buried in you. Releasing your thighs, he leaned over you and met you in a tender kiss. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding him close.

"You took it so well, babygirl," He whispered, sitting up. Taking you with him, he allowed you to cling to him and hide your face in his shoulder. He laughed softly as you began to sniffle but it wasn't cruel. He ran a gentle hand up and down your back as you began to cry. "What is it baby? Overwhelmed?"

You didn't reply, only nodding your head as you continued to hold onto him. You didn't cry for long, your tears drying up quickly at the help of his comfort.

"You know I love you right?" He asked, voice muffled against your skin.

You sniffled, nodding your head. "I love you too, Daddy."

"Still lost, sweetheart?" He asked, smiling when you nodded. "We'll just sit here until you come out of it. I'm right here."

You sat like that for ages, taking deep comfort in having his arms around you after fearing you would never have him again. You couldn't bring yourself to let him go, needing him to stay with you and whisper sweet nothings and I love you's.

Although Taehyung and you had made up, you still felt the gaping hole that was left by Jungkook’s absence. You laid in bed late at night, staring at pictures of him on your phone. Some were candid and others were selfies with him grinning happily.

You could feel your eyes growing heavy with sleep which was cut short by an incoming phone call. Jungkook's name flashed on the screen and you nearly dropped your phone in your rush to answer it.

"Hello?" You asked, trying to shake away the sleep in your eyes.

"_-_____..." He sobbed, making you sit up so quickly your head spun.

"Kook? You okay?" You asked.

"I...I don't care if you're lying, ____. I miss you so much...I love you so much," He choked out, coughing slightly as he grew more worked up. "Y-You can continue lying to me j-just please come home."

"A-Alright I'll be there in a minute, Kook, alright?" You breathed, waiting for him to murmur his confirmation before hanging up.

You took the opportunity to text Taehyung as you got ready.

To: Taehyung [12:58AM] Where you are?

From: Taehyung [12:58AM] Had to stay late for work. Why?

To: Taehyung [12:59AM] Jungkook called me crying. I'm going to head over there.

From: Taehyung [1:00AM] Alright. Thank you.

You wondered why he was thanking you but disregarded it in favor of throwing your shoes and jacket on.

After calling an Uber, you quickly dashed to the penthouse, anxious and scared of what you would find. Unlocking the door with shaking hands, you walked in to hear Jungkook crying from the bedroom.

"Jungkook!" You cried, rushing to where he sat on the edge of the bed.

"_____," He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly. "Baby I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay Kook, I forgive you," You whispered, breathing in his comforting scent.

You pulled back, meeting those teary doe-eyes. Unable to stop yourself, you pulled him in for a kiss; gripping the baby hairs at the base of his neck as you did so.

You pulled back, meeting those teary doe-eyes. Unable to stop yourself, you pulled him in for a kiss; gripping the baby hairs at the base of his neck as you did so. His hands coming up to hold your waist, bringing your body closer against his own.

He moaned softly into the kiss, pushing up the hem of your shirt until you pulled it off. He wasted no time in unclipped your bra, eagerly discarding the offending material to cup your breasts. Breaking the kiss, he instead enveloped your nipple in his hot mouth. You gripped his hair as he swirled his tongue around the bud.

His other hand was not idle, he slid it into the band of your pants and into your panties. You gasped, tightening your grip in his hair as two digits found your entrance which was just beginning to leak your arousal. He switched his mouth to the other nipple, leaving the other to harden as the cool air touched it.

Jungkook's experienced digits worked your cunt, forcing you to get wet enough for him to slide two fingers into your entrance. He kept the fingers buried inside, finding your g-spot easily before suddenly pulling out and using the wetness to swirl over your clit until the bud was hardened in full arousal.

You were panting by the time he pulled his fingers out, popping them in his mouth with a moan as his eyes rolled back.

"You taste like euphoria," He whispered, quickly yanking your pants and panties down until you kicked them away. "Get up here."

"Yes Sir," You whispered, doing as you were told.

He smiled fondly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before stealing another kiss from you. After pulling away, you quickly stripped himself of his clothes. His cock was half-hard and he moaned as you took it in your hand.

"Spit in your hand for me, kitten," He whispered, groaning as you did as you were told.

Using your spit-slicked hand, you began to stroke him slowly. Squeezing from the base to the head, you worked him to full hardness easily. He leaned back on his hands, watching your pretty hand jerk his cock. Precum began to bead at the tip and you couldn't stop yourself from leaning down and catching it on your tongue. Jungkook cursed at the feeling of your tongue circling his tip, dipping into the slit there to taste more of his precum.

"You taste so good, Sir," You whispered, batting your lashes at him.

"Go ahead and suck me off," He gathered your hair in his hand, keeping it out of the way as you swallowed the head of him.

His hips jerked, that part of his cock especially sensitive. You didn't focus too much time there, not wanting him to cum too early. You took him deeper, up to that pesky gag-reflex, pulling back before you could choke on him.

"Good girl," He praised, groaning as you bobbed your head in time to your sucking.

While you were pleasuring him, he decided to return the favor. Bent over his lap as you were, it didn't take much for him to maneuver you into straddling yourself over his face. You felt your cheeks burn hot at the embarrassing position but didn't have time to dwell on it when he was licking a fat stripe across the creaming wetness on your folds.

Your moan vibrated around his cock, making his hips jerk at the stimulation. His lips found your clit, sucking the hard bud into his mouth as you ground down against him. Pulling back slightly on his cock, your swirled your tongue along the head of him which was received with a gasp. You quickly dropped back down, pushing past your reflex until you choked around him. Spit bubbled from around your lips, coating the base of his cock and his skin. Wrapping the had not supporting your weight around the base, you used the spit as lubrication to stroke what you couldn't easily take.

Jungkook's tongue found your entrance, sliding into the clenching hole and moaning at your taste. He swallowed all the delicious juices you had for him, using his thumbs to spread your folds open.

"Pretty cunt," He growled, licking your exposed clit repeatedly until you were trembling. "So sensitive."

He didn't stop supplying tender licks and kisses to the throbbing bud, even as you began to whimper with an impending orgasm. Jungkook could feel his own orgasm rising to surface as he felt your clit throb under his tongue. He pulled back, smirking when you whined at the denied orgasm. Your entire cunt pulsed violently, your entrance clenching around nothing.

You doubled your efforts sucking his cock, taking him even deeper into your throat. Your eyes watered as you coughed but it was worth it to hear the way Jungkook cried out.

Realizing he was going to come soon, he went back to playing with your sensitive clit. You sobbed as he swirled his tongue around the bud, pulling the hood back so it was completely vulnerable to him.

Taking the head of him in your mouth, you used your hand to stroke the rest of his shaft. His whole body froze beneath you, muscles going taut as his cock throbbed rhythmically in your hand. The first splash of cum on your tongue made you jump, taking your by surprise but you quickly swallowed it down ready for more. He continued to cum into your mouth until he finally relaxed, riding out the aftershocks as you swallowed the rest of him down.

Pulling off his cock, you sat up and placed your hands on his chest.

"Pl-Please make me cum, Sir," You begged, still tasting the tang of his cum on your tongue.

Jungkook leaned up just slightly, taking your cunt into his mouth. He licked everywhere he could, suckling upon your clit and sliding his tongue as deep as possible into your entrance. You were trembling, eyes rolling back as you ground your hip — riding his tongue to completion. He moaned against you, teeth just barely catching your clit — finally setting you off.

You whole body trembled as you cried out — the orgasm strong and leaving you breathless. You sobbed out his name, your nails digging into his chest, catching his nipple. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his cock twitch at that but you were too absorbed in the way he continued to eat your cunt as you rode out your high.

Finally, you couldn't take anymore, and you slumped to the side — falling off of him.

The two of you laid there, cuddled together as you caught your breath after the amazing orgasms you gave each other.

The sound of the door had you both looking up, Taehyung's heavy footsteps pounding down the hallway. He didn't even bother to take his shoes off judging by the sound.

"You were right, _____," Taehyung panted, a boxy grin on his face. "Soomin and Daehoon have been stealing information from various companies for months. They had an entire plot to just break us up."

"What a relief," You breathed. "N-Not the plot b-but you know...that you found out."

"How did you find out?" Jungkook asked.

"They're both blacklisted from being matched," Taehyung placed a paper down, leaning down to kick his shoes off obviously not willing to discuss it any further at the moment. "Now, to celebrate the good news..."

You giggled as he loosened his tie while clamoring onto the bed.

He leaned over you, pressing a kiss to your lips and then to Jungkook's lips.

"Shall we show our babygirl how much we appreciate her?" He asked, making Jungkook grin and nod.

It was almost incredible how much stamina Jungkook had, having just recovered from his orgasm and was already ready to go again. Taehyung leaned back as Jungkook began to gently touch your body — still sensitive from just playing with Jungkook.

The elder stripped his clothes as quickly as he could, making you giggle at the sight.

"I love you so much, baby," Taehyung whispered, kissing your lips quickly. "Think you could take me now?"

"Yes please," You whispered, eagerly spreading your legs.

"Fuck, you're so wet," He whispered, sliding the head of his cock through the mess between your folds. "Did Jungkook make you cum good?"

"So good..." You sighed, eyes fluttering when the head of his cock caught your clit.

He grunted as he began to push into your entrance. There was a slight sting but your walls had relaxed from your orgasm that you had no problem taking him. Your body sagged against the bed as he quickly bottomed out.

Resting his hands on either side of you, he started a slow pace — just enjoying the feeling of having you around him again. Your mouth fell open, thighs beginning to tremble in overstimulation every time he sunk in and dragged across your g-spot. His pelvic bone met your clit every time he sunk inside and you could already feel another orgasm rising.

"I'm gonna cum," You warned, meeting Taehyung's eyes as you held your thighs open for him.

He doubled his pace, the sound of your skin meeting growing louder. He watched you carefully, keeping eye contact as a silent moan tore out of you. You tossed your head back as you came, clenching around him tight as vice.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," He groaned, watching as you came beneath him. "Coming so fuckin' good for me, baby."

"So pretty when you cum," Jungkook whispered in your ear, making you shiver.

You abandoned your grip on your knees to cling to the bedding. Your hands were shaking, your fingers weak from how much strain your muscles were under from being tensed.

"I-I...I want...fuck..." You couldn't get your words out, eyes rolling back in your head as Taehyung continued to fuck you.

Jungkook chuckled, sitting up on his knees and wrapping his hand around his cock. "Look at our dumb little baby. Can't even form a proper sentence."

"F-Fuckin' pathetic really. Such a slut for cock, she doesn't even care that she turns stupid," Taehyung added, their words making you clench pathetically around his cock.

"All she can think about is having a fat cock stuffed in her little cunt," Jungkook cooed, sliding his hand between your legs to find your clit. "Or being able to cum while stuffed full."

"Go ahead baby, cream on my cock again for me," Taehyung ordered, angling his hips up to slam against your already abused g-spot.

Immediately, you were forced into yet another orgasm. You swear, no one could ever make you cum harder than the two of them. You would never be able to go back after this, completely ruined and only able to get off on your two doms.

"There's a good girl!" Jungkook praised, finally abandoning your clit to let the sensitive bud recover.

"Daddy please—" You gasped, reaching up to place your hands on his chest.

"What is it, babygirl?" He asked, finally slowing to a pace that allowed you to catch your breath.

He ground into you, stirring your insides in a way that made you sob. "I-I wan-want you both in...in me."

Taehyung and Jungkook both froze, cocks twitching in interest.

"Can you take us both, kitten?" Jungkook asked, meeting your eyes to make sure it was really what you wanted and not just your fucked-out mind.

"Yes I..." You whined, grinding against Taehyung to ease the painful arousal. "I want you to make me take it. Please, fuck me too, Sir!"

"Dirty slut," Jungkook hissed. "Sit up then.”

Both you and Taehyung moved so you were straddling the elder. Jungkook reached between your thighs, fitting two fingers inside you beside Taehyung's cock. The extra stretch stung but it quickly vanished. Taehyung moaned as you became even tighter than you already were with the addition of fingers.

Jungkook worked up to four fingers, fucking them in and out of you while also stroking Taehyung's length. Your head rested against Taehyung's shoulder, as you moved back against his cock and the digits. Before long, Jungkook removed them, using the juices on them to slick up his own cock.

"Stay still," He snapped, applying a sharp smack to your ass when you eagerly ground backwards in hopes to meet him.

Ever so slowly, with as much care as he could possibly muster, he began to sink into you alongside Taehyung. The feeling of the other man's cock against his own was euphoric and he tossed his head back with a shout.

"You're so so tight," Jungkook sighed, working himself deeper inside you.

He paused with every whimper you made. Whenever you reached back to stop him, he allowed you the time to adjust. Your entrance stung and you knew you'd be sore in the morning but you couldn't bring yourself to care as he finally bottomed out.

You were fuller than you had ever been in your entire life. Before they even had the chance to move, you were coming again. Coming around two cock stuffed inside you was the best yet. Without even having to touch your clit, you were gushing, soaking both you and Taehyung beneath you.

"God," Jungkook breathed. "You really like this, huh?"

"Who knew you'd like being stuffed on both of us? If we'd known this we'd have done it sooner." Taehyung chuckled, making you flush.

You felt like a slut in that moment — in the most exhilarating, arousing way possible.

"Please fuck me," You begged.

Neither man said anything, setting a pace immediately. Taehyung began, shoving his cock deeper inside you in one smooth thrust. Every time he sunk in, Jungkook pulled out and vice versa. They were able to hit every delicious spot inside you like that, making you cry out in pure heaven.

If you could die where you were, you would— coming hard with the two of them brutally fucking you.

"I'm already close..." Taehyung choked out.

"M-Me too," Jungkook sighed, brows furrowed.

"Please don't stop!" You cried, clinging tightly to Taehyung in front of you.

"You know..." Jungkook chuckled, a sadistic noise that had you on edge immediately. "If you like this, maybe we should stuff another hole, hm?"

Before you could question him, you felt his thumb circling your second hole. Your eyes widened, your mouth falling open as he easily pushed the digit past the tight ring of muscle. Even with one finger, you felt even fuller than you already had.

It took no time for you to be coming a final time. You squirted, crying out uncontrollably as the both of them were set off as well. Both of them gushing inside you was incredibly, it leaked past both their lengths to make a mess beneath you.

When you collapsed onto the bed, you could feel your hole clenching around air — stretched open so much that you weren't able to close properly just yet.

Both men collapsed beside you, none of you caring about the fact you had to clean up the mess. All you truly cared about was the way they wrapped you up in their arms, sharing kisses between the three of you.

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost or modify.

[karen-elaine]

Hey guys!

So I’m currently on vacation! My family and I are doing a cross country trip! For reference, I live on the east coast and had never ventured away from the east coast. This has now obviously changed and among our many stops was LA. While there my dad and I decided that it was crucial we stopped by the iconic Amoeba Music located on Hollywood Boulevard.

I did my fair share of shopping around, got some cool stuff, and overall had an epic experience. So, I figured I’d talk about it on here!

THE STORE

Here’s the store itself just chilling on the corner living it’s best life. It’s not super grand or anything from the outside, you get most of that wow factor when you walk inside. Still super cool though and they had some super chill employees hanging out right outside the door to welcome people in and chat with the customers.

When you first walk in to the store this is what you’re greeted by! It’s this awesome, colorful, record mural with those nice LED lights in it. I didn’t take anymore pictures once inside, but it was huge! There were rows and rows of records, cassettes, CDs, band tees, and equipment for listening. It was crazy and there was so much stuff to look through! If it wasn’t for the limited time we had due to the parking meter, I could’ve spent forever in there just looking through everything.

ARCTIC MONKEYS - FAVOURITE WORST NIGHTMARE

First of the many records I got today is Favourite Worst Nightmare by the Arctic Monkeys! I got one Arctic Monkeys album a couple of months ago (Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not) and now I’m on a mission to get all of their albums. Needless to say, I was super excited to stumble across this one at Amoeba.

This record has a very epic song list! In total it contains 12 songs including:

Brianstorm

Teddy Picker

D Is For Dangerous

Balaclava

Fluorescent Adolescent

Only Ones Who Know

Do Me A Favour

If You Were There, Beware

The Bad Thing

Old Yellow Bricks

505

I believe this one just to be pressed on a black vinyl, but I won’t be opening it until I’m back home.

ARCTIC MONKEYS - A.M.

Yes I got myself another Arctic Monkeys album because why the heck not? In my defense though I never see these two at my local record shops, so that’s my excuse!

This album is a classic and I find a staple in many people’s collections. It features many of their big hits and is overall just an iconic record to own. With that being said, the song list is pretty awesome. A.M. features 12 tracks:

Do I Wanna Know?

R U Mine?

One for the Road

Arabella

I Want It All

No. 1 Party Anthem

Mad Sounds

Fireside

Why’d You Only Call Me When Your High?

Snap Out of It

Knee Socks

I Wanna Be Yours

Once again I do believe this to be on a plain black vinyl. Either way, my best friend is super excited that I got this one.

BIKINI KILL - REVOLUTION GIRL STYLE NOW!

Last time I came at all of you with a Bikini Kill record it was Pussy Whipped. This time around though I picked up Revolution Girl Style Now! which is pretty great! The “B” section of my collection is really starting to bulk up and I’m not mad about it!

As always the songs on this album are most excellent. This one has:

Candy

Daddy’s L’il Girl

Feels Blind

Suck My Left One

Carnival

This Is Not a Test

Double Dare Ya

Liar

Ocean Song

Just Once

Playground

Sticking with the common theme here, I’m assuming the vinyl is just a standard black pressing.

BIKINI KILL - YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

Yes I got another Bikini Kill album! I swear this is the last one of multiple from one artist. It’s just Arctic Monkeys and Bikini Kill this time around.

Any who, this is another classic album of theirs with many great, well known songs from them. This includes:

White Boy

This is Not a Test

Don’t Need You

Jigsaw Youth

Resist Psychic Death

Rebel Girl

Outta Me

George Bush is a Pig

I Busted in Your Chevy Window

Get Out

Why

Fuck Twin Peaks

Girl Soldier

Not Right Now

Once again, I’m assuming that this is just a plain black vinyl. I don’t even think there is any colored pressings of Bikini Kill, but I could be wrong. Who knows?

FALL OUT BOY - TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE

Here we have an artist I’ve been looking to add to my collection for a while now, Fall Out Boy! I can never seem to find their records in person, but today at Amoeba Music they had this one and Save Rock And Roll. That one was super expensive though with a lot of extra stuff. I was not looking to drop $40 on one album today, so I decided on this one instead!

The song list on this one is sweet. It features 12 songs all of which I’m pumped to listen to once I arrive home:

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today

Dead On Arrival

Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy

Saturday

Homesick At Space Camp

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

The Pros and Cons of Breathing

Grenade Jumper

Calm Before the Storm

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Such a great album and it’s also such a great pressing! This copy of Take This To Your Grave is pressed on the limited edition silver vinyl which is super sweet.

MELANIE MARTINEZ - CRY BABY

I wasn’t even planning on this one but when I saw at the store I couldn’t say no! This album was my favorite in 6th grade and I was such a hardcore Melanie fan then. This album and Melanie herself is so iconic and I knew I had to get it.

All of Melanie Martinez’s packaging is always stunning too! I know this one has a whole picture book in it with a page for each song that connects the whole album in to one story. Super cool stuff!

This record contains 13 sweet songs including:

Cry Baby

Dollhouse

Sippy Cup

Carousel

Alphabet Boy

Soap

Training Wheels

Pity Party

Tag, You’re It

Milk and Cookies

Pacify Her

Mrs. Potato Head

Mad Hatter

This is the standard black pressing, but as I said before, the packaging for this is great so it’s all good! I’m super excited to give this guy a listen when I get home! My favorite through middle school was Mad Hatter so that’s going to be so fun to hear on vinyl.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE- DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS

Final record purchase of the day is by none other than My Chemical Romance! I got their album Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys and I’m super excited about it!

This record marks my second MCR vinyl in my collection, other than this one, I have The Black Parade which is another awesome album.

As always he have a very epic song list consisting of 15 tracks including:

Look Alive, Sunshine

Na Na Na

Bulletproof Heart

SING

Planetary (GO!)

The Only Hope for Me Is You

Jet‐Star and the Kobra Kid/Traffic Report

Party Poison

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Summertime

DESTROYA

The Kids from Yesterday

Goodnite, Dr. Death

Vampire Money

As shown in the image, this is not a standard black pressing! I got the fancy picture disc which was the only available option and I’m definitely not mad about it. Super cool, and my very first picture disc. Can’t wait to spin this one!

T-SHIRT

While I was there I also had to pick up some Amoeba merch to take back home with me!

They had a really epic graphic tee section. Some of which were for various musical artists while others were for the store itself. They had so many too!

I ended up going for this simple, black, logo tee with this super cute pink logo in the center. I think it’s adorable and I’m so looking forward to styling it back home.

PIN

As I was chilling in line I spotted the pins display and took a quick look at that too. I ended up grabbing a little rainbow pin with the Amoeba Music logo in the center. Once I’m home I plan to put this on my denim jacket that I’m currently trying to fill with cool pins and patches. It’s definitely going to be a really cool addition to my jacket. Unfortunately though, no pictures because I reached the max number of pictures. Very sad.

[2seokfan]

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 4

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

warnings: mentions of physical abuse

word count: 5.3k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4

summary:

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year?  So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Y/N gets the surprise of her lifetime today! Also to clarify, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is an old cowboy movie with a very famous theme song (just in case some people don’t get the reference). Thank you for being patient! Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns!

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda @ghostkat23 @ayoo-bangtan @sadgurllayha 

How come whenever you’re excited for something, time purposely slows down?? It’s like the weekend can’t come fast enough. Each day feels like a whole week and each hour stretches like two. You swear the clock hanging on the wall of your clinic has some sort of personal grudge against you, the second hand moving at the pace of a snail.

You’re currently on the last two hours of your shift. The hustle and bustle of morning appointments have died down but that doesn’t stop the constant train of incoming calls. You wonder if there’s an award out there for maintaining a professional voice after getting asked stupid questions, because you deserve that award, exhibit A being the person you’re dealing with right now. You pick at your nails while you balance the work phone on your shoulder.

“Sorry ma'am we’re actually a hybrid clinic so no, I can’t put your son down for a checkup. Mhm. Mhm. Uh huh.” You peel off a hangnail and flick it into the trash can under your counter. “I understand you're frustrated but none of our doctors specialize in human treatment. May I suggest the hospital? Ok have a good day now. Bye.”

You hang up as a string of expletives are leaving the receiving end of your phone. What part of ‘hybrid clinic’ did she not understand?

You lean back into your office chair, vowing for the 100th time to invest in one of those lumbar support pillows for your poor, aching body. Checking today’s schedule, you see that a first-time client should be coming in any minute now. Her voice had sounded eerily familiar when she called all those days ago, but you didn’t bother to think twice.

Right on cue, you hear the clinic door open. A very familiar arctic fox hybrid is ushered in by her impatient owner.

“Hurry up won’t you! We don’t have all day!” 

Yep. That’s blondie alright.

Sylvia has already recognized you, giving you a small smile when her owner isn’t looking. You’re shocked by her appearance, small cuts and bruises adorning her face and a noticeable bandage around her left wrist. You smile back, trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

Blondie hasn’t noticed your presence yet, currently rummaging through her gigantic purse for a pen. She freezes when she finally looks up, making eye contact with you.

You both narrow your eyes like it’s some sort of cowboy showdown in the old west, theme song from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly playing in the background. If it weren’t for the counter in front of you you’d probably be slowly circling each other, hands ready to draw your pistols from your holsters.

Except it’s the 21st century and all you can do is clench your jaw and offer her a steely glare.

“What are you doing here?” Blondie is the first to break the silence.

“I work here,” you say matter of factly.

“Don’t you own hybrids?” Her voice is menacing, but it doesn’t mask her confusion. “How can a receptionist afford two hybrids?”

“I’m here on my off time cause I have nothing else to do.” You find it so much easier to lie to her now that you’ve successfully done it before. No harm in stretching your little fable.

Blondie huffs, having no rebuttal ready.

“Anyways, I need you to fill this out here.” You decide not to push her temper further since you’re at work and need to act civilly. You hand her the basic information form and contact the doctor about their arrival. 

While blondie is busy filling out the paperwork, you make quick eye contact with Sylvia, mouthing a silent ‘are you ok?’ to her. She gives you a tense nod but nibbles on her bottom lip and shifts her pupils in blondie’s direction. You can’t forget that look on Sylvia’s face, one of desperation and misery, and you want so badly to pull her out of this situation.

Blondie finishes and hands the papers back to you. You glance down and find her name on the forms. “And Karen,” of course her name is ‘Karen’, “how did Sylvia get these injuries?”

A flicker of panic flashes across her features but it instantly disappears into a frown. 

“She fell down the stairs.” Karen snaps, then proceeds to tap her foot impatiently. “Well? I’ve got an appointment??”

You sigh and swallow down the urge to talk back. “Dr. Lao is ready for you. Just head down the hall and into the office on your left.” 

Karen puts her pen back in her purse, then grabs her fox by the elbow and pulls her down the hallway, out of sight. When they disappear, you sit back and take the time to process what just happened.

You don’t believe for one minute that Sylvia fell down the stairs. Her injuries seem obviously inflicted by another person, most likely Karen, but you don’t want to jump to conclusions. Since you have no proof, you can’t really report the issue. Also you’re well aware of how corrupted Hybrid Services are and you don’t want to leave Sylvia in their hands. 

The phone rings, bringing you back to your senses. Oh yeah, I’m still at work. You remind yourself to google some safe hybrid help centers when you get home. There’s nothing you can do now but you’ll be damned if you won’t try.

The two emerge from the checkup after an hour or so. Karen turns to your counter, face still in her signature scowl as she approaches you.

“I need to schedule a second appointment.” Her tone sounds a little stiff, as if she didn’t want this outcome. “Sylvia will need another checkup for her wrist.” Her entire demeanor is suspicious to you at this point. When you met her for the first time, you were only focused on getting her to stop bothering your two hybrid friends. You regret not noticing her obvious physical aggressiveness.

As the two head out, Sylvia turns back and gives you a small ‘bye’. You melt at how cute she is despite all her injuries. You give her one last wave, determination welling up inside.

You head home and immediately dive to your laptop. Sylvia’s next checkup isn’t till two weeks later so you want to use that time to become as productive as you can in finding the numbers of various hybrid centers. Even though your work revolves around hybrids, you have no personal experience helping any of them out of trouble so you need the advice of professionals. You have no idea what any of these centers can do and you’re aware that your lack of information means you’re starting from scratch but you refuse to sit by and do nothing. Not when something fishy is obviously going on.

You’re surprised to find no decent hybrid centers, even though you live in a pretty big city. Most seem like shady adoption centers that put in the bare minimum amount of effort in taking care of and re-homing their hybrids. One center was so repulsive you’re surprised they’re legally allowed to operate. You click on their ‘About’ page for shits and giggles and the description makes you want to gag. ‘Having problems with your hybrid? Don’t worry! Call this number and we’ll take them off your hands!’ What the actual fuck!? It’s like one of those junk collecting commercials where they take away your old furniture except they’re talking about living, breathing hybrids, not an old refrigerator. This goes to show how little the government actually cares about hybrids and you find yourself involuntarily clenching your fists.

After a few websites that lead nowhere, you stumble across one for a Hope Hybrid Center that seems promising. The description indicates how they’re dedicated to the ‘safety and comfort of all hybrids without discrimination’. The only catch is that the particular center in your city has just been built and will not open till later this week. Nevertheless, you decide to trust this location since there are several other branches under the same name littered across the country that all have raving reviews. You bookmark the page and remind yourself to contact their main call center tomorrow.

You don’t know what’s come over you. It’s true you’ve always had a soft spot for hybrids, and you’ve always been in full support of every new law that passes, bringing them closer to citizenship. But you’ve never been this passionate about personally helping them. It’s a good feeling, being actively involved in something you care about. Saving your two hybrid friends two months ago has really opened your eyes to what human bystanders can do. Every action, big or small, can have an impact and you mentally scold yourself for not being aware of your surroundings previously. Oh how ignorant you were.

The rest of your research is futile, and you end up closing your laptop with a sigh of defeat. This is all you can do right now. Who do you think you are? Some sort of vigilante? What power do you have to make any change?? You’re just one silly receptionist against the big bad world.

Before you start mentally beating yourself up even more, you close your eyes and remember the image of Sylvia’s face. She looked so hopeless, so resigned to her fate, that all your self pity dissipates. Whatever miserable situation you’re in, you know she’s probably experiencing something ten times worse.

You think about bringing this run-in up with Scarlet and Hazel but you chicken out last minute. They’ve been pretty busy on the days leading up to your dinner doing god knows what. They’ve been polite enough to reply to you but you can tell from the short, quipped answers they supply that they have other things going on right now. You know that they’re not doing this on purpose so it doesn’t bother you too much, but you do miss the comic relief they provide in your hectic life. Guess you’ll tell them all about it when you see them on Saturday.

The last thought in your head before you shut your eyes is to call the Hope Hybrid Center as soon as you go on break tomorrow.

“Hi! Thank you for calling the Hope Hybrid Center! This is Jodie speaking, how can I help you?”

“Uh, hi yes!” Jeez why are your palms so clammy? It’s just a phone call, you do these everyday! “My name is Y/N and I was wondering if you can help me with a couple questions about hybrids, if that’s ok?”

“Of course!” Jodie sounds all peppy and excited. You wish you still had her energy when you do your customer service calls. You were like her for only a brief period all those years ago when you began at the clinic. Boy did that die down fast.

“Um,” You’re not really sure where to start. Do you just straight out say someone is hurting their hybrid? That might sound a little too accusatory. “What do I do if I think someone is abusing their hybrid? Like I have no proof but I still feel like it’s happening?” You’re not used to doing things behind other peoples’ backs, even for someone as awful as Karen, and it’s got your entire body erupting in cold sweat. You mentally reprimand yourself. I’m trying to help. This is for a good cause.

“That’s a good question.” Jodie’s voice is reassuring, like she can hear the nervousness of your tone through the call. “There are several things you can do actually! The first thing we recommend you do is observe their behavior as much as you can and try to record or take note of any signs of aggression displayed by the supposed abuser. This can be used in case any legal action is taken.”

“Uh huh.” You reach into your purse and grab your handy dandy little notebook, pull out the pen stuck in the spiral, and quickly flip to a random blank page to jot down everything she says.

“Now if you want to take direct action, that can be a little riskier but it is possible. The best option is to take one of our unique business cards and pass that along to the hybrid in need.”

“Unique business cards…?” She lost you there.

“Yes. You can find them at each of our shelters or we can mail them to you.” She answers fast, and you have a feeling she’s used to this question. “Each of our business cards contain an emergency phone number, a security code, and are coated with a unique scent that is virtually undetectable by humans. When the number is called, our first question is to ask for the security code, then confirm the matching scent of their business card. These cards work best with the majority of hybrids that contain a heightened sense of smell, such as the mammalian hybrids. We may need to adjust for certain bird or aquatic species that rely on other senses.”

Your writing arm is sore from taking all this down but you pause to answer Jodie. “She’s a fox hybrid, so that should be ok I think?”

You hear a large sigh of relief over the receiver. “Ok that makes things a lot easier.” Her tone switches to serious once again. “But remember this can only be done if the hybrid is willing to contact us in the first place. Beyond that, someone will have to catch them in the act of abuse and that can be very hard to do.”

You nod your head in agreement, forgetting that she can’t see you. “I understand. There’s a small chance this may just be nothing but I want to try and help at least.”

“That’s awesome! It takes a lot of guts to report these issues and you’d be surprised how many people let them slide under their noses.” She’s so encouraging that for a short, sweet moment, you envision the whole plan falling into place. You can see it now, a happy Sylvia free from her oppressive captors. Wow they really do a good job. Jodie deserves a raise.

“Thanks Jodie that means a lot!” You shake your sore arm, trying to relieve the pain. “I might need you to mail me a business card since the Hope Hybrid Center in my city isn’t open yet.”

“No problem! I’ll just need your full name, an email and phone number, and your address.”

You relay all your information over. By the time the call is finished, you have a whole 2 minutes left on your lunch break. You look down at your untouched PB&J sandwich and cry internally. It’s for a worthy cause you repeat again and again in your head like a mantra.

Friday. Finally. This week has been the longest you’ve experienced since midterm week of college. You received a package from Hope Hybrid Services this morning and it’s currently sitting on your bedside table. You won’t need to open that up till Sylvia’s next appointment.

You power through another hectic day at work, motivated by the prospect of seeing your two friends in person tomorrow. Both boys are now well aware of your work schedule and take extra care not to text you until you’re off.

5pm rolls around and your phone vibrates just as you enter your car and buckle your seat belt. You check and see that it’s from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’, your favorite groupchat. You gun it towards your apartment, wanting to reply to them in the comfort of your own home. You must have made it in record time and you’re surprised you didn’t get a speeding ticket. Listen, you aren’t the best driver out there but no one’s died on your watch so you count that as a win. When you arrive home you immediately jump onto the couch and unlock your phone.

Hazel: Hi Y/N. Sorry we’ve been so busy this week but we’re excited to see you tomorrow

You: that’s ok! I figured you were occupied

Hazel: Yep. Had to take care of some stuff but we’re all set now

Scarlet: Y/N!!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOOUUUU

Scarlet: (excited emojis)

You: Same!!!

Hazel: Oh yeah

Hazel: We’re meeting at La Cucina Classica tomorrow btw

You let out a small gasp of surprise. No fucking way?! La Cucina Classica is one of THE most expensive restaurants in your city. You’ve never stepped foot inside their doors because they’re usually booked months in advance. Karli’s lucky ass managed to eat there once before and she described the food as, and you quote, ‘orgasmic’. How on earth did they manage to nab a spot there?

You: No way! Really?

Scarlet: Yes way!!

You: how the hell did you manage to get a table???

Hazel: We pulled some strings

You: omg u mysterious boys

Scarlet: We promise to tell you everything tomorrow!! <3

You: ok! but don’t feel obligated or anything

You: i trust u guys

Hazel: Good

Hazel: So tomorrow. 7pm

Scarlet: Oh yeah! Also dress nice

You: you bet! It’s a fancy place so i can’t let them know i’m secretly poor

Hazel: Lol

Hazel: I have to make a call for work so bye for now Y/N

You: bye kitty

Scarlet: See you tomorrow! I can’t wait!!!

You: me too!! 

You: bye!

You set your phone down and whisper to yourself. “What does he mean by ‘work’? They have jobs??”

And they got a table at La Cucina Classica by ‘pulling some strings’, like it was no big deal to them?! Oh my god do you need answers!

You wake up promptly at 9am.

Why? Because it’s #SelfcareSaturday. And this has nothing to do with seeing the boys in person tonight at 7pm. Nothing at all.

You usually have a lot of shit to say about how crappy your little apartment is but today you’re feeling thankful because your dingy bathroom comes equipped with a little tub. You have a bath bomb that was a birthday gift from one of your college friends and you pray these things don’t expire (they do lol) because you’re about to crack this baby open for the first time.

You’ve still got 9 hours, 23 minutes, and 16 seconds till dinner tonight but who’s counting? Not me, you think as you slowly sink into the rainbow-colored tub water. The atmosphere is perfect. You’ve lit up two of your scented candles and have a lofi hip hop playlist on shuffle. You should really do this more often except, you know, water bills.

Right after bath time you decide to do one of your more elaborate skincare routines, hoping to remove the stress and fatigue from your face after a week of work. You facetime Karli so you’re not alone during the whole process.

“Hi Y/N!!” Karli’s face pops up onto the screen. It’s a little more blurry than usual and the sunlight is harsh behind her so she must be outdoors. “Why is your face all glittery?”

“Oh this?” You point to your cheeks. “Remember that fancy Japanese face mask I bought when I got my holiday bonus?”

“Oh yeah! But you said you’d only open it for a special occasion. Unless,” then she comes to a conclusion. “is it for the boys??”

“No!” You correct her too fast. “I mean yes, but also no.” There’s a blush creeping onto your cheeks. “Sometimes a girl just wants to treat herself…”

“Sweetie, your idea of treating yourself is ordering takeout and drinking wine on the weekends, but I’m not gonna pressure you.” Karli sure loves to tease.

“Shut up you don’t know me,” you pout. You’re furiously red at this point.

“Au contraire, I know you too well. You’re like that mole I have on my left ass cheek, I’ll never get rid of you.”

Classy.

“True.” She’s not wrong. You two have been through thick and thin and everything in between. It’ll take divine power to separate you now.

“Oh yeah good thing you called! I’ve got some news!” She’s raising her voice since the background noise of traffic behind her is a little deafening. 

You tilt your head, a question forming on your lips. Is it about the wedding?

“Remember that Bryce guy?”

You do now, since she brought him up. But it does bring back a few embarrassing memories. “Yeah?”

“Well he told me he has a football game coming up so he’s probably gonna text you soon to ask if you can go.” 

“I forgot I said yes to that,” you wince as you suddenly remember that night.

“I mean, you can always let him down gently,” Karli suggests.

“No, I shouldn’t. That would be mean. I did agree to go.” Just admit it. You don’t like disappointing people. 

“Ok girl, if you say so.” She doesn’t push you, probably cause it looks like she’s hurrying somewhere. “Ugh I promised to meet my coworkers for lunch but why did I wear heels downtown!”

“I don’t know girl, sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” You snicker at her.

“Hey don’t be fucking rude!” She quotes that famous Kim Kardashian meme perfectly.

“Stop! Don’t make me laugh too hard!! It’s gonna mess up my face mask!” You’re trying to keep your face still but it’s damn near impossible at this point.

The rest of the day you spend pampering yourself, the whole nine yards. You even booked an appointment with the nearby nail salon after one glance at your unkempt cuticles. God you’re a mess. All you had today was a salad you picked up after your nail appointment because you want your stomach to prepare itself for the gorging you’re about to do tonight.

As the evening approaches, you hunt in your closet once again for appropriate dining attire. The words ‘dress nice’ echo in your head. This time you do open your ho drawer, because you remember having some sort of shimmery dress that isn’t too bad and can probably pass for being presentable in such a fine dining environment. You reach into the furthest corner and finally feel the soft, silky fabric, pulling it out and hoping against all odds that it isn’t full of wrinkles. Lucky for you, the dress is still in good condition. It’s a spaghetti strap and flows all the way down past your ankles. You’ve never found the occasion to wear it, only buying it cause it was on sale and you thought it was so pretty at the time.

You put it on and glance in the mirror. Usually you have a lot to critique about your physical appearance but today you admit you don’t look so bad. The dress shows a little bit of tasteful cleavage and there’s a slit that rides up your right leg but it isn’t too revealing. Attach some chunky, strappy black heels and you’re good to go. Except makeup, you’ve gotta do that first.

As the clock ticks closer to 6:30, you finish up on your smokey eye and swipe on a little lip tint. You’re definitely taking an uber tonight because you don’t want to miss out on the restaurant's excellent drink selection. Also parking on a Saturday night? Absolute nightmare.

The place is downtown and a good 20 minutes away so once you get in the car you tell the driver to step on it, promising to tip him extra when you get off.

You can’t stop the constant drumming of your heart as the car nears the location. You feel like a kid who’s been told they’re going to Disneyland and you’re giddy with excitement. Maybe it’s better not to see them in person because you might faint on the spot.

As the car pulls up you take a deep breath. Calm down Y/N, you think to yourself, I’m just meeting two good friends for dinner.

The restaurant is located at the rooftop of one of the taller buildings downtown. You enter the elevator, smoothing your dress and your nerves at the same time.

When the doors slide open, you’re greeted by an immaculately dressed hostess. You glimpse at the restaurant behind her. Expensive is definitely the right word to describe this place. There’s dimly lit, warm lighting above each of the tables, and a live band is playing soft tunes in the corner. Waiters and waitresses are carrying loads of food on only one hand, serving each table with grace and poise.

“Name?” The hostess asks you, breaking you out of your observation.

“Um,” You’re unsure what to say. Did they put the table down under Scarlet or Hazel? That can’t be right since those are fake names. 

“Y/N?” You try with your name first to see if that’ll lead anywhere.

“Right this way Miss Y/L/N.” Holy shit, ok. Guess that worked.

You’re led past the many tables, ladened with various couples, and back into a private room. They even managed to book a private room?!?! You really feel out of place with your drugstore makeup and cheap dress.

The hostess graciously opens a door for you and-

“Y/N!!”

“Ooof!” You’re enveloped by the familiar scent of honey and cinnamon. “Hi Scar.” You try to compose yourself since he smells too good to be true. Hazel is right behind him, signature sleepy smile on his face. You back away from them, taking in their appearance

Oh. My. God.

Your jaw drops. Beautiful isn’t enough to describe what’s standing in front of you. Scarlet is in a perfectly fitted, baby blue suit that shows off his lean physique. One of his top buttons is undone, revealing his caramel colored skin and collarbones. You pry your eyes away from such sin and opt to look in Hazel’s direction but that does nothing to help you since he’s also dressed to the nines, wearing all black, silver jewelry sparkling on his neck and fingers, a stark contrast to his milky white skin. You look in between them instead, fearing you’ll drool if you stare at them any longer.

Hazel steps forward and also gives you a small hug. His scent is floral, with a spicy undertone, and you want nothing more than to drown in it.

“Hi Hazel,” God you must be blushing like crazy right now. You can’t help it since they look so delicious. Stop that! They’re your friends and they’re not interested!! You want to slap yourself for thinking such impure thoughts.

Well you say that but the way they’re taking in your outfit sends a shiver down your spine. Is it just you or did their eyes darken? The atmosphere quickly returns to normal and you start to wonder if that moment was all in your imagination.

“Look! We already have the champagne ready!” Scarlet’s tail is wagging a mile a minute as he returns to his seat. Hazel slides next to him right after, trying to swat away the offending appendage that’s taking up his spot.

“How ‘bout you control that tail of yours, hm puppy?” Hazel huffs, finally managing to sit down once he successfully shoves the tail back into Scarlet’s lap.

“Hey!” Scarlet looks downright offended. “I’m a fox, not a dog! We’re a much more sophisticated creature.” He crosses his arms and states pointedly, “just like you can’t control your purrs, we can’t control our wagging.”

Hazel only sighs. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m mated to you.”

“Because you love me. Now shut up or poor Y/N’s gonna feel like she’s being third-wheeled.”

Now this is the Scarlet and Hazel you’re used to. You sit across from them, nursing the sparkling flute of champagne that’s calling your name and trying not to snort out loud at their antics. It’s still extremely hard to maintain eye contact with either of the boys but you put in effort all the same.

“I hope you don’t mind, but we already ordered.” Hazel shifts in his seat, one hand ruffling the back of his hair.

“Actually that’s perfect!” You chuckle. “I have no idea what to get in places like these.”

“Ok, good.” His voice is now sounding a little bit shaky, which is very puzzling. Is he nervous?

You take a better look at them, temporarily ignoring their attractiveness (which is a very hard thing to do), and you notice their body language is off. Both their tails are now twitching anxiously and their ears are a little droopy. What’s going on?

“Hey guys.” You keep your voice gentle. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah! There’s just, um…” Scarlet is twisting the napkin in his lap. “We have some very important things to ask you and-”

“Wait!” You interrupt him, putting one hand up. You need to get this across before the boys tell you anything. “Before you continue, I just want you both to know that under NO circumstances do you ever have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with. I understand that you have a lot of secrets to keep, being two hybrids who probably don’t have owners. I want to respect our friendship and your privacy, and if that means not knowing a lot of your secrets, then fine by me.” You’re almost out of breath from letting all this out but it’s worth it because you truly value your friendship with them. You always joke to yourself about wanting to know what they’re hiding but deep down you cherish being their friend more than anything.

Both boys glance at each other for a second, nerves having vanished, then they suddenly throw their heads back and erupt into giggles. Scarlet is full on shaking, slapping his knee while he roars with laughter. Even Hazel is cackling, gummy teeth on full display.

This throws you off and your eyebrows furrow together. What’s so funny? You were being sincere and trying to protect them from revealing secrets they don’t want to tell you.

By this time the waiter has come by with a tray of small appetizers so you grab an olive and chew on it in confusion, waiting for their laughter to die down.

“See? What did I tell you about her?” Hazel is wiping a stray tear off his face.

“You’re right, you’re right!” Scarlet nods back in agreement.

Their laughter has finally fizzled away and they both turn to face you once again.

“Um,” You’re completely lost for words so you take another sip of champagne for courage. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No not at all!” Scarlet is quick to reassure you. “In fact, we were nervous at first but you’re making this so much easier for us.”

“Easier?” If you had a penny for all the times these boys have confused you, you’d probably be a millionaire by now.

“Right.” Hazel leans into the table a little bit, a small smirk on his face. “You see, there’s something very important we want to ask you tonight.”

“But first,” Scarlet juts in, also leaning in next to Hazel, “just to clarify. You trust us right, Y/N?”

“Of course.” You say without hesitation. These boys literally have no reason to harm you. Except they’re a little too close to you now and you resist the urge to fan yourself because oooh boy do they have the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen. And their ears! Why are their ears so fluffy looking?! You bet their super soft to touch but you dare not reach out.

“Even though you don’t know our real names?” Hazel urges you on.

“Well, I always figured you’ll tell me when you’re comfortable...” Your voice is getting smaller now, and you feel yourself getting red from head to toe. They’re too close to you and you try not to let your obvious attraction show so you look down and twiddle with your silverware.

“Excellent.” Both boys snap back into their seats, startling you.

“Y/N.” Scarlet clears his throat and tries to make his voice sound serious but he can’t hold back his smile. “We would like to officially ask you to adopt us.”

The fork you’re playing with clatters onto the table.

Previous

[hs-conspiracy]

Non-Romance Sad Songs in Musicals

Listening to a lot of musicals this past couple months really opened my eyes to how many sad and emotional songs are about romantic love. Most of the biggest musicals today like Rent, Wicked, Six, Hadestown, and more all have their emotional climax songs be about love. This isn’t something everyone can relate to, and it can get boring and lose its touch after a while. So I decided to list sad, emotional songs that are not about romantic love that other people can relate to.

“She Used to be Mine” (Waitress)

Arguably the best song in all of Waitress. Hearing Jenna mourn the death of the person she used to be is heartbreaking and shows how her marriage and depression have taken a toll on her. She states that she knows who she used to be was not perfect but it was her, not the cold shell she currently was. While the show never says outright that Jenna has depression, this song makes it clear and is a song many people with depression or other mental illness can relate to. Watching Jenna throughout the musical, you see her trying to get some of her light back through her affair Dr. Pomatter, but cheer when she realizes that it was not the right way and finally seeing her happy away from romance is heartwarming and makes “She Used to be Mine” a great song during any re-listen

“No One is Alone” (Into the Woods)

A song about grief and mourning the death of your family, how can you not cry? Red, who was always a bright light throughout the musical, and the slow Jack both crying after finding out their mothers and grandmother(in Red’s case), the last of their families, had died is devastating. Both Cinderella and the Baker have to set aside their own grief, Cinderella from finding out the man, who she thought could be family when she had no one, cheated, and the Baker from finding out the death of his wife leaving him alone with a child he had a hard time caring for without her, to comfort these children is so sad that leaves everyone in the theatre crying by the end. Anyone who has lost someone close to them or fear it can relate to this song, making it hit even harder.

Each of the Trio’s solos from The Lightning Thief: a Percy Jackson Musical

Okay so this musical has three emotional songs that have different themes that anyone can connect with. Percy sings about how no one has ever treated him like anything more than misfit except his mom, who he watched “die” in front of him, leaving him feel alone and needing someone who sees him for him. (“Good Kid”) Annabeth sings about how no one trusts her with anything important and she had to fight to be respected, but she still feels like no one does. (“My Grand Plan”) Grover sings about his insecurities caused from the trauma of not being able to save a friend even though that was his job as a Protector. (“Tree on the Hill”)

I would also like to point out the reprise of Percy’s song in “Last Day of Summer” sung by Luke. It shows how people could be in a similar situation and have the same mind set but still have two completely different views on how to fix their problems, a theme consistently in the Percy Jackson books between these two characters that was brilliantly executed in this musical based on the first book.

“Lifeboat” (Heathers: the Musical)

One of the most popular songs from this musical that has yet to make it to Broadway; “Lifeboat” shows what happens to someone when they lose their place and friends, only to get constantly belittled. This song is why Heather McNamara is most people’s favorite character.

“When the World’s a Stake” (Trail to Oregon)

A song for the mothers out there. Mother laments about how she had to give up her dreams after she got pregnant with her daughter, but she does not want the same for her. Mother married Father to give her daughter the best life she could even though at the time she did not want her. However, after seeing her daughter for the first time, she vows and pleads to God to let her daughter have “a better life than I can provide,” something any mother can relate to.

“Michael in the Bathroom” (Be More Chilled)

Of course I have to talk about this song (otherwise the BMC fandom will attack me lol jk) A song about losing your best friend and how much it hurts, something everyone has experienced. I haven’t really listened to BMC so I’m sure someone else can do a much better job of explaining this than I can.

“What Tim Wants” “If I Fail You” & “Black Friday” (Black Friday)

Another Team Starkid musical. I’m trying not to fill this list with all Starkid but I can’t not bring up these three songs from their most recent musical. Tom sings about how he is trying to make his son happy after the death of Tim’s mother (“What Tim Wants”) and then him releasing that all Tim wants Tom to do is be there, not something superficial like a toy (“If I Fail You”).

“Black Friday” is a beautiful song sung by Lex. Lex thinks she is about to die and leave her younger sister, Hannah. She remembers how she vowed to protect her sister from their mother and the world. The song ends with Lex accepting her death even though all she wants to do is fight for her sister. A song parents, siblings, and friends can relate to.

“All Grown Up” (Bare: a Pop Opera)

Probably one of the saddest songs in the saddest musical. With the setting being a Catholic school where all the students all have something serious going on, of course it's going to be sad. But to me, “All Grown Up” is the saddest non-romance song in the musical. Ivy sings about how she messed and feels like her family will be disappointed, that she let them down. How did she mess up you might be asking? She got pregnant at 16 with a guy she doesn’t feel like has true feelings for her (which the audience knows he is in love with his best friend, another boy). This song is her crying to Nadia, her roommate and sister to the father, about how she doesn’t know what to do. In the first act, Ivy isn’t a character most people like since she unknowingly getting between Jason and Peter, but this song makes her a character everyone sympathizes with. And while not everyone is/was a teen parent, the feelings she has of disappointing her parents are painful and relatable.

I encourage anyone to add to this list if you know anymore songs I haven’t thought of.