#also thank u for the context at the end i do not think current me would’ve figure it out months later skdjfkmf

[taesancult]

7 minutes in heaven with bnd pls? <3

I FORGOT THIS IN MY DRAFTS 😭 ANONIE IM SO SORRY!! i was actually so excited to write it when i first saw it too 💔 i made it longer on purpose to make up for this being so late!!

smut under the cut. mdni.

sungho: this man is such a wild card to me in this context… however, i could see him being upfront and honest. he sees this as an opportunity to have you, so confidence is not an issue. he probably won’t fuck you right then and there, but use this moment to tease you, or to entice you. he’ll be so mean, teasing you, touching you so close to where you need him, whispering all these dirty things in your ear. he would ultimately start giggling if you beg for him because “now isn’t the time” and would say “i want to take my time with you.” overall, would spend his time driving you insane, kissing you so passionately, acting like he would worship you if he just had more time- (like sir can u just make a mess of me already THANK U!)

jaehyun: too scared to initiate in fear of seeming desperate, but is very much desperate. would practically burst into flames if you initiate. “hey can i suck you off?” “can you WHAT?” he’s looking around frantically, trying to decipher if he heard you correctly or not. “yeah why not!” “WHY NOT?” like you’re so nonchalant about it and he’s mentally freaking out. he cums embarrassingly fast, the whole situation is way too sexually charged that he can’t help himself. from the way your mouth feels on his cock, the way you keep looking up at him with those pretty eyes, the way you compliment him - telling him he sounds so pretty. he would moan out, not being able to control his volume, and it’s heavenly. he IS the guy every girl wants like is moaning without hesitation (although he will be embarrassed about it later, he couldn’t care less in this moment). he would literally be so pent up for no reason. it’s like everything is heightened and he’s spilling into your mouth faster than he wanted to, but you don’t mind. this is just the beginning <3

riwoo: baby boy here is shy at times, but can also be so cocky depending on the scenario. the current situation has him being more confident and relaxed as the way you’re staring at him gives you away; that you want him as much as he wants you. he wouldn’t fuck you in the closet, but he’d be more than willing to have some fun. this is the perfect moment to dry hump, your legs on either side of his hips, grinding down on his hard cock. his hands would be on your waist gripping so tightly as he pushes you onto his body as deeply as possible. the two of you would be so desperate for some fricition. by the end of the 7 minutes,, his hair is a disaster from you pulling at it as you use his body to try to get off and both of you have warm cheeks and are panting. truly a MESS in the best way possible.

taesan: not the biggest fan of quickies or feeling as though he has limited time. HOWEVER! he thinks the whole element of potentially getting caught in a scandalous situation to be super enticing. the thought of some poor soul who has to open the door and alert the two of you that your time is up witnessing you drunk for him is enough to motivate him to have you wrecked in less than the time you have. he would push you against the wall, kissing you before whispering in your ear, “this is about to be the best 7 minutes of your life.” your brain short circuits and he spends that time doing anything and everything to make you an absolute MESS.

leehan: out of pocket. he would randomly ask to finger you. he has his shy moments too (more so in the context of praise), but he can also be so confident. he’s the type to ask directly if he wants something, not really hesitating because why should he? you like him and he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to be embarrassed. he’ll literally trap you between his body and the wall, smirking at how you look at him with puppy dog eyes full of want. “so? what do you say? want me to make you cum?” he would ask as he stares into your eyes and all you can do is nod. he would get on his knees, not wasting any time. he would pump his fingers in and out, a wet sound filling the room because your cunt was absolutely drenched for him. “such a wet cunt, maybe next time i’ll get a taste,” he would say as he looks up with you a smile. he’s so filthy with his words it’s insane. he’d finger you so good that you physically wouldn’t be able to stand; your body sliding against the wall in defeat as you fully give into this man’s fingers.

[toasteaa]

send u some niko voicelines abt eclair so u can read later (feel free to tell me if i got her character wrong qjdjsjd)

---

About Eclair: Walls have Ears 

"Seems like you're enjoying Fontaine so far, seeing how that little floating pixie of yours can't seem to get her eyes off of any plates of sweet she came across. But careful there, Traveler- you know how they often said 'the walls have ears' ? I could think of one person that fits the description... Who ? Hah, that'd spoil the fun, wouldn't it ? After all, I'm still under supervision from the same person... You know what ? How about we give her a little show ? I'm sure other folks wouldn't mind another... ‘show’.”

-

About Eclair: Justice 

"When you're a convicted criminal, any and all crimes directed at you are seen at face value- You committed embezzlement ? Guilty. You kidnap children ? Guilty. You attempted murder on thousands of lives ? Of course you're guilty. Everything that is  thrown at you is easy to accept to anyone because that's all you ever are to them- a criminal. As much as I complained about the old hag, she does do her job by her own standard, the titles of "hero" and "criminal" don't matter to her as much as the truth of the case. At least that's something I could give her credit for, I guess." 

-

About Eclair: Second Chance

"Oftentimes, those residing in The Fortress do not have the luxury of going to the surface, unless they manage to escape the security of The Fortress prevents any and all inmates from leaving the Duke's sight. Of course, I'm the exception to this rule as I'm currently standing on the ground now in case you haven't noticed yet, you can thank the old hag for that. You must have guessed it already but this... settlement was not made easily, even back when I was still charged with attempted murder, Eclair was dead set on letting me be under her supervision with permission for me to be above ground despite all the problems that would come with it, it was an intense conversation and I don't think I've ever seen the Iudex looking that agitated before. But in the end, she went through with her decision and even till this day, I still don't know why she would do all that for me... Don't you dare tell her that, she'll sprout some cheesy shit like 'cause I care about him !'... or something.”

NICK I'M CHEWING ON YOUR BRAIN BECAUSE HHHHHHGHGHNHGH EVEN READING ABOUT HER IN PASSING AND FROM NIKO'S POINT OF VIEW IS ACTUALLY AN EXTREMELY ACCURATE DEPICTION OF HER CHARACTER RAAAAAGH

I know I've got an awful habit of talking about her with my silly or hopeless romantic or angsty filters on and I feel like that always takes away from how present she is in Fontaine's judicial system. And how present she is in Fontaine as a whole. Like. I always mention it briefly but there are reasons you either want or don't want Eclair on your case/on a case involving you!!!

"As much as I complained about the old hag, she does do her job by her own standard, the titles of "hero" and "criminal" don't matter to her as much as the truth of the case."

REAL AND TRUE - THIS IS GENUINELY HOW SHE GOES ABOUT CASES SHE'S ON!!!!! This is also why she isn't fond of interviews or those few crime novels that always seem to crop up after she's taken care of a major case - most observers (especially those on the outside of a case) do not see (or often do not care to see) the truth of a case. They would rather place the apparent "innocent" party and the apparent "guilty" party in groups based on preconceived notions. Appearances, origins, family tree, age, personality; all variables that can be manipulated and taken out of context to distort the truth beneath the veneer of presumptions. It's why, interestingly enough, she's never been the biggest fan of leaving half of verdict to the Oratrice. As impartial as it and Neuvillette can be, if fed enough prettied falsehoods and twist the identities of the "guilty" party just enough, even they can't tell the truth from a lie. But present enough evidence, no matter whose side it comes from, and see how quickly an "innocent" party's story unravels and how they scurry to backpedal their previously presented "truths".

It's made her both an appreciated and highly targeted member of Fontaine's law system. Luckily, no one's tried to take aim on any of those targets. Yet.

"Eclair was dead set on letting me be under her supervision with permission for me to be above ground despite all the problems that would come with it, it was an intense conversation and I don't think I've ever seen the Iudex looking that agitated before. But in the end, she went through with her decision and even till this day, I still don't know why she would do all that for me..."

Eclair refusing to let Niko be saddled with a false accusation of attempted murder when she knows for a fact that he wasn't the one to plant the bomb. The fact that she was willing to be thrown in prison herself in order to prove Niko's innocence in this case. All of his robberies? Fine; he did in fact do those and she has the evidence to back it up. He'll serve his sentence for that crime with no qualms from her. But attempted murder? Niko has never intentionally harmed or attempted to kill anyone before. It is not the Araignée Noire's style to do such a thing. Therefore, the charge should not be on an innocent boy's shoulders when the actual culprit is still out there. And, as you can imagine, several people were not happy to hear that.

There were arguments of course; accusations of Eclair playing favoritism as well as insults to her character. Anger from the crowd claiming that the new so called "Head Detective" was endangering more people by letting such a criminal continue to run free in Fontaine. But she'd said her piece already; all she needed was a confirmation or rejection of her plea.

Neuvillette wasn't angry, but he was severe. Called for order and grew silent. Stared down at Eclair with an intensity that would make anyone else apologize for such folly. Eclair only stared back at him and waited for his call. The resounding uproar after he allowed her investigation to continue still rings in Eclair's ears.

To this day, I don't know if he knows how badly her hands were shaking the entire time.

[umbrvx]

i like ur art. its great and interesting!! i really like your artstyle and i really like the way u draw hsy, yjh, and kdj. you captured them so well in terms of vibes/character. also i was wondering do u have any advice to improve on drawing anatomy/poses/faces?

wahh thank you so much...!! i feel like im still trying to figure them out in a lot of ways but i do really like ironing out my visual interpretations of them so im really happy to hear if people like what im coming up with

also anon you super activated the part of my brain that cant help but yap about art theory... i spent some time writing as many tips as i could think of. unfortunately i dont think i have the time currently to do a fully illustrated guide, but ill still try to include some visual examples:

[incoming wall of text lol]

ANATOMY:

to preface i think that like 100% of the time you should reference a real life photo for anatomy rather than other artwork or drawn references. the best way to learn the body is by… well, actually looking at the body! but also artwork is informed by a person's own artistic ability/stylization choices/sense of idealism, so while looking at art can help give you an idea on how to break down forms, i think you would be best served observing real life references. i labor on this point because i do think that having over relied on drawn reference material and avoiding photographic references on the basis of not being interested on realism hindered me as a largely self-taught artist as a kid, so i want to encourage live or photographic reference since anatomy is one of the foundations from which everything else is built on. that being the case, all of my doodles i'm doing for this are going to be for the sake of example rather than to strictly say how you should or should not be drawing something

-> when you are doing a study of a photo, just try copying it as best as you can. pay close attention to the natural lines and shapes of the body -- the S-curve shape of the leg, the triangular shape of the forearm, the trapezoid shape of hips/thighs when they sit, and so on. note where the body folds or squishes or pulls; how mass will shift to accommodate a certain position. if a form is hard to visualize, focus on the negative space and carve that out, rather than strictly drawing the positive space.

don't expect to get it perfect the first time. in fact, iterate on it multiple times to build understanding. try doing it to a timer of 15, then 10, then 5 minutes. doing this will force you to have to prioritize the most important shapes. you can help reinforce this by using a thicker brush or a brush with no pen pressure (no joke ms paint works great for this) to force you to be loose and not become preoccupied with details.

-> pinterest is a great resource for finding and compiling photo reference material

-> organic shapes are curved, so embracing/emphasizing that (particularly for the extremities) can help make your drawings look more natural or fluid

POSES: -> it all begins & ends with contrapposto… you've probably heard of the line of action, which is related. if you're offsetting the shoulders & hips, it: makes poses more natural, more dynamic, and helps the pose sort of "draw itself" -- the legs will follow the direction of the hips, and you can use the arms to reinforce the angles

-> context is key. don't ask: what pose should i draw? instead ask: what do i want this character to convey? what does happiness, anger, sadness, and so forth look on this particular character? how do they express that? consider these drawings: these are both ostensibly the same pose, but look at how changing just the shape of the spine recontextualizes it.

for more on pose design i recommend watching Tracer & Pose Design 101 - The Animation of Overwatch by New Frame Plus (i promise this is a genuinely super informative video).

to expand on this, in general, all of the components of a piece (background, composition, pose, etc.) are best considered in conjunction rather than separately. it is difficult to choose a pose and then choose a background because they are missing the context that would make a piece cohesive. when you are planning a drawing, try to begin with your general concept/idea/prompt and then do several thumbnails -- small and quick doodles that should take no longer than 5 minutes each -- developing it: you may find that the pose and bg will naturally fall into place.

-> silhouette: the degree to which you need to push this varies by style but generally speaking the pose needs to be readable; i.e. instantly recognizable. try to keep important elements of the gesture outside of the silhouette. for example, if the character is pointing, keep that arm out of the interior of the body. the same pose can be more or less readable or dynamic depending on where the character is pointed in relation to the viewer

-> exaggeration!! goes along with the previous point. push the pose as much as you can (and what makes sense for your style) to communicate your pose as clearly and as intensely as possible.

FACES: -> i highly recommend the app Handy Art Reference Tool by Belief Engine for all things related to drawing hands/heads/feet. its on both android and ios. it isn't free -- it costs around $3 -- but that is seriously such a small price to pay for the amount of utility you get out of it: the hands models are fully poseable (there's also pose presets), you can rotate the head models however you want, and there is 3-point customizable lighting. it is really helpful for getting those super tricky and hyperspecific head angles that you just can't find a real life reference for. that being said given that there's only a few different head model variants, bear in mind how differences in features can affect what exactly a face will look like in those angles.

-> i still recommend doing studies of real people. as with anything else, learning generalized proportions is important, even if you are going to later on bend or break this depending on style

-> as for my own approach... it kind of depends on the style i'm doing at that particular time. for my paintings (what id consider my main style) i approach a character with a few real-world features in mind and then apply them to the best of my ability. it usually will take a few iterations to land on an interpretation i really like as i try out different things. a lot of the face also gets developed during rendering rather than through my initial sketch too, as i adjust for lighting and correct proportions on the fly

(look how much this image changes between sketch and render lol)

if i were to recommend anything, i think it would be to nail down your most distinct features first -- the ones that will make your character's face recognizable, and could apply regardless of art style. in my case with kim dokja, i knew when i first started drawing him that i wanted to give him a longer face and down-turned eyes. when i decided to do the disco elysium inspired set, in which i was breaking out of my comfort zone by letting go of any idealizations focusing on conveying characterization/making them feel "real", i landed on some more specific traits (defined lower lids/perpetually tired eyes/eyebags(?) the crease there idk how to describe it) which i continue to try to evoke even if im drawing something much more cartoony

(pictured are my first kdj -> disco elysium style -> my post de-style kdj)

as a side note, this very same process changed yjh much more dramatically

(^ that first guy is mad someone else)

those handful of key features will be the thing that you can then take into a simpler style and simplify or exaggerate to whatever degree suits you. you can also play with shape theory (square = sturdy/solid, circle = natural/smooth/welcoming, triangle = energetic/dangerous). shape theory doesn't necessarily need to be so rigid -- you can combine shapes as you please to convey whatever vibe you're going for -- so please think of it as a tool that may help rather than a rigid law you must abide by.

-> expressions: exaggerate them. thats kind of it!! make it big!!! you wanna be able to really feel those emotions. the principles of squash & stretch help here: think of how the muscles move when you, say, open the eyes or mouth really big. as one side of the face stretches open, the other side squashes to accommodate it

even without changing the position of the jaw here, moving the nose and scrunching the eyes will sell the expression

you can also play with squash/stretch to break proportions to sell a feeling more

since expressions are just, well, poses for the face, everything else for poses applies here (and facial expressions & pose should also be considered in tandem). while the term contrapposto itself just refers to the offset of the shoulders & hips, the similar principle of asymmetry also carries here as that will help make the expression a bit more dynamic.

and i think... that's it!! all i can think of at least. i hope it helps anon!!!

[tgtbata]

tagged by @nigeltde-fic to art-ify these questions for writers and i would never deny her:

How many works do you have?

if i estimated correctly, i have over 350 posts with at least one drawing each on this tumblr account. which gave me a heart attack tbh, that's so many haha. there's some more my art floating around the internet elsewhere like on the terrebus account.

What fandoms do you draw for?

the main one currently is supernatural, before that it was the terror and before that it was football (the soccer kind) rpf. but i still do all of 'em! there are some others i play with like sherlock holmes, fdtd or mtw.

What are your top 5 drawings by notes?

using a random internet tool to rank posts:

dean/cas phallic angel blade (2492 notes)

sam/dean rebar kiss (1569 notes)

possum!dean (1510 notes)

blanky & tuunbaq dinner date (1492 notes)

dean with tattoos (1475 notes)

conclusion: big destiel still rules tumblr

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i usually do when it feels like something directed at me, like asks/dms or replies on twitter and tumblr. not so much when it's tags on tumblr or qrts on twitter - those feel more like the other person is talking into the void and not to me directly lol

What is a piece of art you drew with the angstiest ending?

hard to define 'ending' in the context of art - it supposes a sort of narrative structure not every of my drawings has. maybe this one. because, in the words of the rolling stones, you can't always get what you want.

What's the piece of art you drew with the happiest ending?

i guess this defines happy ending but i also had to think of this one, just because i can hallucinate the story that it took for them to get to that cocktail sippin' ending.

Do you get hate on art?

yes, sometimes lol i've had people fighting wars in my twitter replies when i posted cas/jack art. wah wah wah he's his dad. wah wah wah they're brothers. wah wah wah kill yourself. ridiculous and irrelevant. i do still think fondly of some replies i get though, like the one that was in russian and said 'such a talent and only for the sake of lust... sad.'

Do you draw smut?

yeah, but it's one of the things i want to get better at.

Do you draw crossovers? What's the craziest one you've draw?

not really. i want to draw an spn/fdtd crossover but that's not super crazy

Have you ever had art stolen?

reposted without credit, if that counts.

Have you ever collaborated on art before?

yes, having one person do the lineart and one do the colouring. it's a fun exercise to make you consciously realise your own art processes

What's your all-time favorite ship?

wincest is up there, of course. holmes/watson is simply a staple. humboldt/bonpland because mtw shaped me in my adolescence. i don't like to define THEEE favourite though because there's different ships for different flavours and that's great.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

does it count as a wip if i haven't even started creating it lmao! if yes - a longer story s4 sam/dean dean/cas piece set to dessa's 551. if that sounds insane, it's because it is.

What are your drawing strengths?

i think depicting connection between two characters and portraying a sense of want/love/doubt even through a distance between them.

What are your drawing weaknesses?

stiff poses and inability to draw without reference. also backgrounds and feet :(

First fandom you drew for?

football rpf. the reason i started drawing regularly at all haha

Favorite art you've drawn?

probably this one. it just... worked out, from idea to product, and it feels smooth and it makes me happy :)

thank u for tagging me, nige!!

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hi! I,, have a question with some specific context that could, potentially, spark some conversation.

I’d say its relatively important to the context to note that I’m also a dx DID system, but im an anon, so take of that what u will.

When our system’s body was around 11-12, our system’s host “created” an alter. Basically like the host had an active role in creating him as opposed to, idk, a regular split or something. What we do know is that this headmate/alter of dubious origin, has fronted in traumatic times and took role as primary protector for years until our current primary protector was reintroduced to the host through therapy. It was also how the host established communication internally with “the actual” system so early, before we knew we were a system.

My only question here is would that be considered “endogenic” origins for a headmate? By all means, we are DID system, and only split based on traumas and survival, but *literally* only this headmate/alter has caused internal conflict for the system, but especially the host who created him (and is still around).

The host originally believed that, when we were first diagnosed, there was absolutely no way that we could have DID because of the active creation of that singular alter, which our psychologist acknowledged, but pointed out otherwise, thru a slew of, like, legitimate reasons (its 12am and we leave for a trip soon, my wording isn’t great, but for some reason, I just cant *not* write this ask).

I, unnamed alter in the system, am wondering if active creation in an alter is possible? I guess in general? It was entirely a form of survival for ourselves at the time to make the alter/headmate of dubious origin, he was what the system needed at that time, but we wonder what terminology we would use for him, or what he would be considered, community wise ig. To be blunt, its almost a validation thing in a way.

Our system is anti-endo. We dont believe systems can form from anything other than trauma in formative years, but the active creation thing seems??? Not a normal experience and maybe, like, invalidating to our existence??? We have alters from before he existed, but he was like our ground zero in communication. The alter that helped “bridge the gap”. The host loves him, and he loves the host. They were attached at the hip until the diagnosis because his existence felt inherently invalidating BUT thats not the point and more venting

TLDR ;

The host actively made a dude in our head who ended up being a main factor in our survival at the time but because the host *actively made* the dude, as opposed to “normal splitting”, does that make him inherently “endogenic”?

Hi, that's normal! And anyone who says otherwise can fight me. Thank you for sending this, it's really not talked about enough.

CDD systems can and do "create" alters, though it's typically not quite that simple once you get into the subconscious.

Firstly, once the development of the sense of self is interrupted in childhood, you've already completed the step that "tulpamancers" are trying to learn. Personally, I don't believe it's possible to dissociate to that extent once the sense of self is developed (I think they're already highly prone to dissociative tendencies, take from that what you will), but CDD systems are already ten steps into the process and it's not out of the realm of possibility (and in fact, it's highly reported) that CDD systems frequently create alters in a number of different ways, including processes similar to willing and creating alters into existence. People with DID already dissociate really good, it's not shocking that we would be able to will a new member into existence with enough thought and pressure. We're just not thinking of it as something similar to endogenic or created alters until it's pointed out, or we understand that there's something deeper at play.

But that's active creation, and now we get into:

"If there's a need, the brain will supply."

This is more based on the personal interpretation of alters in the process of becoming aware, but can be applied to brand new alters.

One general interpretation is based in denial and a feeling of a lack of control, and is similar to active creation.

It's extremely easy to convince yourself that you did this, purposefully and with intent. That you chose systemhood and that you chose to create this alter. CDDs are caused by factors entirely outside of our control, and people will look for, and find, a sense of control in any way possible.

Including telling yourself that you're doing something consciously, even when you're not (loosely based on the same idea as this).

Which came first, the fragment or the need? Was there already a fragment floating around that you helped to pick a name and appearance, and that contained traits that you needed, whether you consciously knew you needed those traits in your system or not? Or did you realize you needed those things, and a fragment came forward to pick up the role?

It doesn't help that alters can be created from overwhelming situations (not just traumatic situations), and the brain is notoriously bad at letting you know when you're stressed and overwhelmed. Not only that, but alters can take years to make themselves known, making it impossible to pinpoint their creation (unless they know, but they usually don't).

So did you really pick that name? That trait? Or was it already there?

The second interpretation is simply misinterpretation.

I have an alter that took a liking to an OC and became that. Again, which came first, the character or the alter? Does it matter? Was I writing based on an alter that already existed but that I couldn't communicate with? Or did a fragment take a liking to the character and traits? Did I look at those traits and think, "I could really use that right now," and my brain agreed? It would be very easy to misinterpret the entire situation to mean that I created this alter, either by complete accident or purposefully, consciously or unconsciously. Where do we draw the line at "created" alters? Does it need to be active creation? Or creation after the fact based on ideas that you liked and wanted? Did you know you wanted them?

--

Mod Quill here to mention something: I also have "created" parts. Again, incredibly normal in CDDs. I also have friends with DID who have parts that "came from God" or "walked in" -- and out of all of those parts, they are all traumagenic, because that's how they choose to see themselves.

The fact that the alter is created doesn't make him endogenic, because based on your description, he's still forming due to the trauma that you've experienced. Now, if you want to call him endogenic, because of the creation process, I don't think anyone's going to stop you -- but you shouldn't ever feel the need to label your alters in that way. You are a DID system, simply put, and regardless of the individual causes of splits, you formed from trauma. You should only be labeling the individual splits if you find that helpful for your recovery.

This alter's creation doesn't invalidate your diagnosis, your trauma, or your system in any single way. It's incredibly common, and I fear that syscourse has made it seem like it has to be an endo thing, when it isn't in the slightest.

------

Thank you to Quill for bringing this back to the most important point. Don't let anyone dictate how you define your system and alters. So long as you're happy and healthy, who cares. That's literally the only thing that matters.

I want to make it very clear that it's not just alter creation that confuses systems, but alters seemingly not connected to trauma at all appearing suddenly or randomly, alters that wake up and immediately go back into dormancy (walk in/out), etc. These are all things that can appear to be endogenic, or mixed origin, but if the basis of your system, the reason you have a system in the first place, is trauma, then everything ties back to that, in the end, and in one way or another.

How you personally interpret your experiences and members, and the labels you use, are uniquely yours.

[dukeofankh]

hey i really really appreciate your posts abt purity culture, desire and objectification and your perspective as an ex-evangelical!! having been born and raised a jew myself i've always been aware of how bullshit all of that stuff is, but not really able to articulate it as specifically as you seem able to, and i find your eloquence really impressive. with that known, i actually have a specific thing that's been bothering me, and i think it's an evangelical purity culture based thing, and hinges on that distinction you made in a post abt a week ago abt how to a lot of people "objectification" = "looking with lust" = "basically adultery"-- okay here goes:

on gay tiktok, there is currently a trend of women (or some nb ppl) who are attracted to women commenting on thirst-traps posted by women the memetic phrase "i am no better than a man".

now this really rubs me the wrong way for a lot of reasons (mainly: contextually this is almost always on videos that are INTENDED to be sexy so why is it weird to find this woman, who filmed and edited this video to be sexy, sexy?? AND what the hell do you mean abt gender by saying this???? women can't desire people?? men can only desire in predatory ways???), and it's weird in that specific way where i'm like. i smell weird cultural christian values embedded in this. but i can't quite articulate the way it all fits together.

this may be way out of line for me to bother you in your inbox like this, but i was hoping to get your take? your ability to explain this stuff clearly and with context i never knew existed is really valuable and while i have seen people responding on tumblr to say "uhhh don't say this", they haven't really articulated what's driving people to say such a specific thing, so much that it becomes a meme.

if u feel this isn't something you want to speak on, that's totally fine! and i just want to say thank you again for your thoughtful posts.

also i feel very weird abt dropping this veritable essay in your inbox so sorry!!

No worries! I love to talk, and I already have opinions on that particular meme 😆.

You've definitely gotten the gist of it, yeah. It's a bunch of unexamined sexist ideas about sex and desire repackaged in the sort of fun memey "it's not that deep, chill out" shell that absolutely thrives on social media. Some of it's Christian, some of it is the radfem repackaging of Christian ideas.

Basically, the version of Sexual Objectification championed by radfem writers like Dworkin was adapted from Immanuel Kant, a Christian philosopher/theologian, so it's not just cultural Christianity, it's also a direct intellectual connection. They just changed the idea from "all people, when overtaken by lust, cease to see people as people and can see them only as means to achieve their sinful sexual gratification. This cannot be avoided, but can be balanced out by keeping sex within a marriage that is otherwise built on commitment and respect," to "Men, when overtaken by lust, cease to see women as people and can see them only as a means to achieve their sinful sexual gratification (due to their patriarchal training to harm and dominate). This cannot be avoided, especially not by marriage, which is one of the main ways the Patriarchy codifies the subjugation of women to men."

Basically, Radfems and Christians get along because Radfems feel the same way about masculine sexuality that Christian men feel about their own sexuality. As for women...both Radfems and more modern Christians are pretty sure that women don't Do Lust in the same way men do. Like, women see people as ends in and of themselves, as fellow Subjects. Men see women as objects. As means to an end, that end being their own sexual gratification.

A few decades later and after a fair bit of social media iteration, we get to this weird point.

What they're basically saying is, "god damn. I swiped onto this thirst trap and I didn't even think about your personality or your accomplishments or anything. I literally just saw big jiggly titties and that's all I can think about. I am sexually attracted to you, and yet it isn't reflective of your soul or a deep connection between us or anything, despite the fact that I'm a woman and I'm supposed to be above just liking your body and that turning me on. Huh. This is what I have heard people describe men's sexuality as being like. You are so sexy that you are causing me to act as badly as men do."

See also: the way tiktok has redefined "the male gaze" and "the female gaze" to just mean "stuff men vs. women respectively like to look at" with most explicitly sexualized visual media being assigned to the former. Women are supposed to like things subtler than that.

Like, saying "I am no better than a man" could be a push to re-examine whether maybe a celibate 18th century theologian/philosopher is a bad foundation for your understanding of sexual desire. I would like to think that for some of these women it probably is sparking self reflection, going "huh, yeah, I guess we all do this."

But as a meme, honestly, even as it claims to lower ones own status I think it still maintains a claim of moral superiority? Like, "yeah, I'm being a horndog, but I am self aware about it. I can tell that I'm being horny on main right now, and it's something that has been conditionally activated by this very sexy thirst trap. Men are like this all the time and they don't even know."

I, obviously, don't like that. I don't like people saying "I'm acting like a man" when they mean "I'm perving on you", I don't like ranking a lack of desire as being better than desire, I don't like ranking genders or better or worse than another. I don't think it's causing problems as much as it's reflecting problems that have been there for a long time, but hey, it stinks.

[soccerpunching]

2, 4, AND 11 OF THE SAPPHIC ENGOUKIDOU MAGICAL GIRLS AU PLEASEE EVER SINCE I FIRST SAW U MENTION IT I WAS HOOKED IMMEDIATELY LORE PLSSS 🙏🙏🙏

[Image Description: darkmode screenshot of white text that says: Reblog if you are a fanfiction author and would like your readers to put one of your fic titles in your ask + questions about it. End of description.]

Thank you so much for asking about that story!! It's only been for a month and a few weeks in my head but it's already taking over my life. I'm glad you liked it aaaaaaaa I'll make sure to keep writing it afasdsafshdfgsd

To everybody else who has not heard of it before, you can read a brief introduction to it here!!

Sapphic EnGouKidou Magical Girls AU

2: What scene did you first put down?

I didn't mention this but this fic is originally a canon divergent AU where Kidou won consecutively in the FF and Gouenji and Endou didn't meet in middle school; it's engoukidou back then too. So the original dialogues and scenes have that context first before it was ever a Magical Girls AU. It goes roughly like this (this is still Haruna and Kidou's situation here btw):

Haruna: And since when did I say that?! Kidou: !! Haruna: You think this is what I want?! To live in this... stupidly fancy mansion with a full course buffet everyday?!! Is that what you thought when you... when you chose this stupid trophy!! *shoves it on his chest* when you chose winning over contacting me?!! Kidou: *voice breaking* I didn't-- I thought--!! Haruna: Yeah, exactly!! You thought!! Because you didn't think it was worth listening to me!!

I recreated it here and I still think about this... It turned into a Magical Girls AU because I wanted there to be a way for these three to act where they're away from expectations of the people in their lives and prying eyes. This also includes from each other's (because Gouenji and Kidou have a bad history and Endou initially wants to be liked by and befriend Gouenji and vice versa) and it turns out they like being silly and fighting crimes while wearing skirts (only 2 out of 3 of them likes the skirt actually)!!

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

I have two sets, but it's not written to be posted yet and this story is at the early parts of creation overall so the scenes and dialogues are probably going to change, but it's so funny to me. They're all transformed as magical girls in these scenes. I use the pronouns they currently use for themselves on the narration and since this is right at the start of the story, they mostly use he/him. Kidou also has an army of penguins as his weapon, I will elaborate next time.

Kidou: *takes the small penguin with a similar cape to him, thinking for a while* Call me Hotaru. *extends his hand* Endou: *shakes the beautiful lady's hands vigorously* MAMO--MAM-- MOMOKO!! Kidou: *sweatdrops with a small smile* Did you just come up with that? Endou: N--NO!! Kidou: *scoffs in amusement* of course...

-- Different scene and chapter --

Kidou: I'm Hotaru and that one shouting over there is my partner Momoko Gouenji: *nods* Nice to meet you... *ties the villains even tighter with his fire laso, not really trying to ignore him* Kidou: Kidou: So what's your name? Gouenji: --Huh? Kidou: Your name? Gouenji: *blinks then looks at Kidou then at the villains* Gouenji: I don't want to tell... Kidou: I didn't tell anyone my real name either-- Endou: YOUR NAME'S NOT HOTARU?! Kidou: *hand on hip* You lied to me about yours too. Endou: N-No--How did you find out?!?

It's my favorite lines of dialogues so far since I haven't written much about it unlike my other WIPs. It's my newest one so far as the others already have months in the making. This will change in the future...

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It's so interesting to write or imagine how the break trio (and the other characters) would be if they were given the chance to wear a mask and not care about the people's expectations of them. We all know how both Kidou and Gouenji only bares themselves to very few people and that Endou most often than not wants to be the support that someone needs (in a bit of a people pleasing degree at rare times too).

Even if Kidou is canonically a trauma-dumper, he still put a face (to everyone who isn't Endou) whenever he's interacting bcs he's always aware that all of his actions have consequences for the Kidou Conglomerate. As for Gouenji, he canonically has only told his problems to Endou and have dangerous levels of following people's expectations of him ((his father + his friends expecting a powerful shoot (only what he thinks bcs they just want him to play soccer actually)).

So anyway, I think escapism would bring an interesting layer to their characters and them being an egg in the story is just probably me projecting or that I'm adding another layer to their characters.

Thank you so much for caring about this story and asking about it so much omg 🥺

Sana masarap ulam mo everyday 🥹🥹

Ask about my WIPs here

[afaramir]

5, 8, 12, 15, 33, and 34! <3333

YAYY thank u jamie for all of these <333

5. quote one of your fics out of context

A memory, to an architect, is a prison, a haunting, a noose.

from two shadows burning out a glory day, my bizarre inception/bond crossover fic. its very close to my heart it was kind of my first. idk if i can say non-conventional fic but it kind of is. like conceptually and narratively Weird. something that messes with the reader's head.

8. share the last line that you wrote

oh BOY. im trying to ease back into writing after the wackass week i've had but something seized me and i AM up at 3am picking away at umbar fic. but its time for bed because i have work and also i just thesaurused "retreat." when i start looking up synonyms of VERY simple words its a sign the night is over.

[his father] would give him every honour, and would that not mean he would accord him every accompanying sin?

hehehehe the thorongil-ecthelion-denethor dynamic IS absolutely in the air. its funny because right before this denethor basically curses thorongil out for daring to bring up His Damn Father when they're making out. yeah its pretty insensitive. but it leads him here and from MY perspective the introspection is yummy. don't think of elephants or whatever.

12. what fandom do you want to write for most often

hmm i feel like. my answer is just whatever im? hyperfixating on at the moment? when i get in there i REALLY get in there. but maybe pacific rim. it just lives at a low simmer in the back of my mind at all times but it's also the hardest to bang something quick out for because it is one of, if not THE most emotionally fraught for me to deal with. its just. well its a lot of grief. and also a lot of times my style becomes very um. Particular. because of my personal headcanons about how drifting fucks with your head and how that kind of comes across in the prose. and i gotta be in the right headspace for All That.

15. what fic of yours would you most like to rewrite

honestly i'm not sure if? any of them? i saw a quotation once about only having been able to write certain things at certain points in your life and i really believe that. current me could not produce a lot of my old stuff at all. there's small parts of many things i might change but not complete rewrites, and i also want to preserve them in their posted form for posterity. e.g. there's parts of dreamlike, and yet no dream that i would want to tweak to match my current Denethor And Faramir complexities (it's missing a Little of the nuance. and the terrible pity that i think faramir ends up feeling for his father) but i would NOT want to completely rewrite it. i'm scrolling through my ao3 and like. yeah. and i do think that after maybe 2020 it really begins to stand the test of time and most of my prior stuff i don't have a strong enough attachment to really want to rework. i leave it up entirely for archival purposes.

33. which of your fic titles is your favourite?

i really like five year plan for the afternoon. i honestly really like most of my titles i’ve probably mentioned i think really hard when im choosing them and i hope it shows in the match between the title and the energy/themes of the fic. but i DID create this one from my own mind (rare) and i feel like it really gave the energy of like. having the future you never thought you would have because you've spent your whole life fighting an impossible fight thinking you would die trying...and getting to not have to have a plan for the future not because you think you won't have one but because you just have all the time in the world.......wow.

35. have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title?

hmm. not really. i do have some inspired-by-songs ones (talked about those here) that eventually ended up with corresponding lyric titles but it doesn't really work the reverse way. i mostly will hear a lyric and create a Scenario rather than a title

fic writer asks

[rollercoasterwords]

i actually just read atyd. like finished yesterday. and i had been putting it off because of things i heard about it on twitter/tiktok.

and oh god i don’t know how many times i’ll have to remind myself that it’s easy to get on a soapbox and claim something is problematic (a term that imo has lost most of its meaning) without critical analysis or understanding of what fan fiction is.

also i think the person talking abt their perceived issues w/ atyd could be coming from people all over tiktok saying atyd dorcas is white. which i don’t even remember being described. and even if she was, i fully think the fic was written before pottermore described her as Black. like ofc the fic won’t match current things we know because it was finished years before the marauders got super popular.

definitely agree w u that the word "problematic" has lost most of its meaning lmao!! like....literally it means nothing without context. calling something "problematic" is the beginning of an idea, which should then be followed by an explanation of how or why you take issue with that thing. and yet i see so many people using it as if it's the end of an idea, as if saying "this is problematic" is some sort of Ultimate Conclusion. v frustrating!!

and yeah i have seen the "critique" about dorcas being white in atyd, but to me that is a perfect example of what i mean when i say half the "critiques" are in bad faith. because taking issue with the fact that dorcas isn't described as Black in atyd assumes that mkb

knew that dorcas was canonically Black

chose to ignore that canon information because she'd rather not write dorcas as Black

and that just....isn't true?

first of all, dorcas being canonically Black is not widespread knowledge outside certain specific circles of the fandom, and it certainly wasn't widespread knowledge (as far as i'm aware) back in 2017-2018 when mkb wrote the fic. in fact, last year, in 2022, when i started writing thtf (a fic in which dorcas is one of the main characters), i didn't even know that dorcas being Black was canon. i thought it was just popular fanon! this is because i literally could not find any canon information about dorcas meadowes' race. i was informed by a reader that the reason that info is canon is because there was, at one point, a picture of dorcas on pottermore. in 2022 when i was looking for that picture, it literally wasn't there.

so basically - thanks to one picture that was on the pottermore website for a limited amount of time, a small percentage of the fandom knew that dorcas meadowes was Black. if you were not part of that small portion of the fandom who knew about the picture, you had no way of knowing that dorcas had any specific race in canon. dorcas as a character has gained a lot of popularity over the past like...2ish years, but she's literally a side character with one single sentence in canon, and historically most people have not been doing deep dives into research about her if they're using her as a side-character in their fics. back in 2017-2018, dorcas was not nearly as popular and the info about her canon race was not nearly as widespread as it is now (and it is still, again, somewhat niche information contained to a small portion of the fandom at large!)

so the actual situation, to my knowledge, is that mkb just...didn't know about that picture on pottermore. dorcas was a fringe side-character, essentially just a name on paper, and her role in atyd was really not that important. this wasn't a situation where mkb actively chose to change the race of a character, this is a situation where she picked a random name from a random side-character, unaware that she was missing a niche bit of canon info, because--again--this was a fanfiction she was writing, not a hyper-researched published story. (for christ's sake, she fucking spelled "walburga" wrong--clearly she was just a person wanting to write a story about remus + sirius, not a fucking harry potter researcher who was trying to strictly adhere to every single bit of canon info out there on the pottermore website, y'know?)

and this is what i mean when i say a lot of these "critiques" are in bad faith. because to say "dorcas is white in atyd" only works as a "critique" if you're starting with those assumptions above. and so essentially what you're getting is a bunch of people implying that mkb chose to ignore dorcas's canon race, which is incredibly misleading, but then other people see that and go "oh what a horrible racist thing to do!! this must be a Bad Story!! i will never read it ever, because i don't read Bad Stories, but i will continue to spread this information that atyd is racist, because that is Activism!!" and personally i just. think that is a really shitty thing to do. and also just an odd way to interact with these sorts of posts!! like, if someone says "dorcas is white in atyd," why is your first assumption that mkb purposely ignored canon info about race? why are we so ungenerous in our assumptions towards each other, when fandom spaces are meant to be about community? why not instead ask, "oh, why is dorcas white in atyd? did mkb know she was Black?" like....if people weren't rushing to burn each other at the stake, we might actually be able to have more productive and respectful conversations with each other, like "why, when we don't know a character's race, is the default people return to so often white?" but that is not a conversation that requires a Human Sacrifice to rake across the coals as penance for Imperfect Writing, y'know?

[maochira]

Takumi Tsuyosa (OC) Egoist Bible profile

Here's a post with general information about him! Also for context, he's dating Shidou

Character colour: Orange

Weapons: strong kick, high stamina, quick direction changes

Nicknames: Tiny Monster, Tsutsu "Only by Shidou! I get to call him Ryuryu in return!", Gyoza "Gagamaru started calling me that for some reason.", Tsuya-chan, Cockroach's boyfriend "I don't know who came up with that..." - "I offered everyone to call me Takumi when my brother started working at Blue Lock to avoid confusion, but instead everyone started calling me nicknames more often."

Birthday: October 7th

Current age: 18 (third year of high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra

Birthplace: Ehime Prefecture

Family: Father. Mother. Older sister. Older twin brother. Himself

Current Height: 160cm (5'2'')

Foot size: 25cm

Dominant foot: Right foot

Blood type: A

Started playing football: At age 3 "My father made me and my brother start playing, but my brother stopped a while ago."

Motto: "As long as your heart still beats you can be free."

Favourite food: Shin Ramyun "First food my sister showed me how to cook when I was younger. We only used half of the seasoning packets because it was too spicy for me, now I use all of it."

Disliked food: Anything bitter "Do people actually like bitter foods?..."

Favourite animal: Bunnies

Favourite season: Spring "I love seeing the first flowers bloom."

Favourite player: Marc Snuffy "After I joined Ubers in the Neo Egoist League, he became like a father to me."

Favourite song: Aishite, Aishite, Aishite "It's relatable. Maybe a little too much."

Favourite manga: Chibi Devil "I found it in my sister's room when I was younger and got attached."

Favourite anime: Mob Psycho 100

Favourite movie: Your Name "I wanted to watch it with Shidou during the break, but he fell asleep after twenty minutes."

Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: Neither "Honestly... I don't like either of them."

What goes best with rice: Kimchi "Especially the kimchi my sister makes. I miss it a lot."

Fetish: Hands and eyes

Hobby: Listening to music. "I don't do much besides playing soccer."

What makes him happy: Being loved unconditionally

What makes him upset: "When people judge me without knowing me at all."

What he thinks his strength is: "I can sympathize with others very well."

What he thinks his weakness is: "I tend to internalize bad feelings too much."

Best subject: P.E., art, music

Disliked/weak subject: Mathematics "My sister always tried to teach me, but I never understood anything."

What made him cry recently: "After the U-20 match when I talked to Shidou... He didn't take me seriously when I talked to him about how he flirted with Sae. But it's okay now."

Usual sleeping time: 7 hours

What he usually ends up buying from a convenience store: Onigiri

Place he washes first when taking a bath: Face "It always feels greasy, for some reason."

Ideal type: "Someone who loves me unconditionally. Like Shidou."

At what age he experienced his first love: 18 "I never thought about falling in love until I met Shidou."

What he would do if he received 100 million yen: "I'd be too overwhelmed to spend it on anything immediately."

Number of chocolates he received on previous Valentines day: 3 "They were all from girls, so I wasn't interested. But I still thanked them."

At what age did he stop receiving gifts from Santa: 14

What was his last wish from Santa: To grow taller. "It didn't happen."

How he spends his holiday: Visiting his sister. "She moved to Tokyo after she graduated."

What he would do on his last day on earth: Spend it with the people he loves.

[auspex]

1 on 1 mark session recap! As always, sorry not a lot of context is given.

Mark first finished reading a book 'on thorns and their consequences' which was basically explaining how the sabbat came to be and their PoV on things and then with an anarch commentary towards the end expressing their disagreements. but on the first last page was red runic lettering which mark could not recognize and which sucked up his vitae when he placed it on it.

He tried to do some internet research and came across an obscure forum which claims to be for learning about obscure languages but actually seems to have a lot of vampires on it posting real and fake runes, kinda like testing each other

The runes mark was looking at were on there but the mod, who basically posts in every server, says 'you wont find anything about that in this life.' the posteris like 'cmon doesn't someone have any family who could help' and the mod replies 'ask J' so that smenacing.

idk if J is Julius? it probably isnt but anyway. mark has already reported reading this book to julius and so is gonna ask him about it cause he couldn't figure it out.

the rest of the night he spends teaching G -G is doing well and did remember his vowels : ) also explained to Gs sister how he made sure the investigation would stop and ask if she needed any other help. she asked if he could get them free or at least out of their current essentially prison sooner and mark said no but they would be out in a month to a month and a half. she didn't know how long that was. so he explained how torpor and weeks and  months and years worked

she still didnt say thanks or bye to mark but there was maybe something where she was close to doing so

i love G im so glad he is doing well he learned a lot he is almost through the alphabet

ok now for the meat of the session. the next night he goes to the chantry to talk to cassidy about the books. Knocks on the door. no answer. 

He is getting a bad feeling. represented irl by the ST playing absolutely terrifying music as i search for him.

In the chantry apartments there is an often ignored ghoul at the front and so then he asked her where Lilian’s apartment was (Cassidy’s best friend.). She told him. He knocked on her door. No answer. 

Checks the cafeteria. nope. library. nope. physics department (where their circle head, Dr. White, is). Nope. He asks someone there if she had seen either of them. nope.

so i'm worried as hell

im trying to think what mark could do and im like. i cant scry on him cause i dont have anything of Cassidy’s. 

and the st gives me a Look as if 2 say u do ur forgetting

But he kinda gives it to me for free hes like, ur wearing the same coat you did when you went to the movies

Turns out mark has cassidy's ticket. so thats close enough to being his so. mark does scry on him

its not super juicy but it is super concerning. Cassidy is by lilian in what is probably the side door in his haven that mark hasn’t been in. barricading the door. with a fuckton of furniture. and also pushing against it. lilian looks terrified. cassidy looks So Done With This Shit (tm). something is banging on the door.

so with that mark goes back to the ghoul and is like. So. Uhm. Yeah i actually have permission to enter cassidys haven yes. please let me in

she looks scared - mark put her in a real bad spot. If he doesn’t actually have permission and she lets him in he could get in trouble. but he reassures her that itis fine and his decision and nothing bad will happen. 

so she says ok and goes to open the door (she is able to if she is doing so of her own consent, she functions as a key ig). As she goes to open it, Mark says uhm. they are doing experiments so when you open the door. back up. and she's like "okay?' and opens the door and immediately vine tentacle thingies burst out and she falls back on her ass and scrambles back, screaming

she gets away and mark engages in combat. its the same sort of monster, just smaller, as the one on his territory in the conservatory, that navigate by sound. it has a lion's mane around a beak in the center and vine like tentacles around it.

mark takes a LOT of damage in its first attack he had like 1 unharmed box left  but he manages to win :) 

cassidy and lilian pop out from the door and are like. mark is that you?

Cassidy’s haven is wreckt sadly. Mark's like. yeah its me. its dead. you can come out.

lilian is SO sad it's dead but she isnt mad at mark. its clear she wanted to subdue it but they had no way to do so and mark comments as such

she's like "i was sooo close " :(

cassidy looks So Done and is like. thank you for your assistance mark but how did you . get in.

mark is like. thats not really important right now, is it? cassidy says 'somewhat, but we can discuss that later'

mark says that unfortunately this made quite a lot of noise and the ghoul went screaming for help so time to get your stories straight.

theres a few other things said but then zach rolls up

If you dont know who zach is he is a newly turned tremere. dr. white's child. elevated into power due to his sire. he's a classic skater  boy. hes head of security. he figured ALL of marks shit out when he broke into a lab - he is GOOD at his job despite his casual attitude. he says 'chill' all the time.

he skates up (yes skateboard in the hall) and asks whats up. mark says 'hi zach. it's chill, i handled it.' (Mark kinda likes Zach). 

And hes like. 'whats chill? can you explain?' and marks like. looks at cassidy and lilian. 'they would know better i just came at the end' and cassidy’s like. looks at lilian as if to say to her. u did this shit u explain!

so lilian starts a story which is kind of obviously partially a lie.

she says that she was doing her research, developing off of Leanah's (which was the stuff mark uhm. stole and sabotaged for her). and she noticed this evening that some things were off. papers where she wouldn't normally leave them. but the chimera project was So Important (TM) for the chantry that she just HAD to press on. Oh Also I found this Lipstick (produces lipstick) that looks JUST like what Leeanah wears isnt that interesting! (zach has her put it in an evidence back for him). She says 'Cassidy even made a joke that maybe I should wear makeup more often." Cassidy grunts but keeps a poker face. he would obviously Never Fucking Say That and lilian is messing with him.

god i love them sm. mark also knows cassidy would never fucking make that joke

(explaining a story that may dictate ur fate as u are investigated. does not miss an opportunity to fuck w the bestie* girl!

she continues to say that she got the embryo (described as tadpole) out of the cauldron she starts growing it. and it kept well. growing.

she pauses there. zach is like. okay and? it grows and?

Cassidy steps in. 'when it got bigger than our couch we realized we had a problem.' (also hehe ‘our’ couch their friendship is everything 2 me…) 

lilians like yes. then thankfully cassidy, with some assistance from mark, killed it. and here we are :) and then zach turns to mark and is like. what do you mean how did you get here how did you know.

and marks like Oh Well You Know "I was coming here for unrelated reasons, cassidy and myself are working together you see. And I had permission to enter. And obviously I would assist him in combat. *Coughs.*

he coughs cause i rolled 1 success on the lie T_T

zach is like. you have permission?? and cassidys like uh yes. 'as needed he can enter. its easier that way' so yay that ghoul won't get in trouble LOLLL mark got retroactive permission

even if each can tell he lied like. how do u call him on that when the person who was to have given him that permission said he did.

Liliana finishes up by describing how awful it was to be sabotage. At the end of her story. she says "Im sure leeanah would be very sorry if she saw the destruction she caused and would say so' and cassidy said 'i would not accept her apology' annnddd thiswent over my head but the st explained that was lilian apologizing to cassidy and cassidy telling her to fuck offlkdsafjlkdsjf

and zachs like. aight seems chill! (Perhaps all was not chill). lemme go in your haven here to see evidence of that sabotage

and  cassidys like oh, please do let me clean up first :) and zachs like :) noo you should see my room haha its fine :) and then cassidsy like. okay fine. you do not have permission to enter my haven. which is something respected in the chantry

zachs like do u really wanna go down that route.

Cassidy appears to hesitate. Mark is FREAKINGGG out he CANNOOTTTT find those books mark had him gather. thankfully cassidy says. Yes. Yes I do.

And so zach says fine thats chill. ill see you soon- and he has one of his guys (he had a small posse with him) stay. cassidys like. well that was a mess. mark says yes. which is why you  should start cleaning it. do you want help.

The person Zach left behind enters cassidys room and was making sure the pc was ok. mark is like cassidy is that ok?? and cassidy says 'oh, hes chill.' It seems this was the little fucker that set up the pc and internet for cassidy in the first place! cassidy makes friends with fledglings :) he doesn't speak but cassidy calls him Hack. because that's what he does, ig

Anyway. Mark helps lilian gather monster body parts to the center of the room where she starts some sort of chanting incantation to get rid of it. cassidy goes into his Side Room to start cleaning. When mark is done gathering body parts he knocks and peeks into the side hallway. cassidy tells him to enter and mark starts helping him put books away

well first theres this hallway which has 2 doors. mark enters door two with cassidy.

its a beautiful study room with mostly books, but also some old clothes, including a duster (COWBOY CASSIDY REAL...) and a painting with someone in a cuirass but the face is oddly blurry

also, all the books do not have legible titles.

with sense the unseen it seems the chandelier in the room has some sort of enchantment blurring those things out

there is also a TALL ASS stack of those notebooks he writes in. Mark glances at it and looks at cassidy who pauses and says. i need to call in a favor. can you just keep packing books away for 10 mins ? and marks like Sure

and hes left alone in cassidys study. but he decides to NOT snoop and figures he wouldnt be able to read shit anwyay due to that enchantment so he does literally just put books away.

Cassidy returns and unfolds a piece of paper that he remembers Wendy using before - its like. a bag of holding.

he unfolds it and puts it under the stack of notebooks carefully . the note books fall in. then he carefully, very very very carefully, folds it up. mark comments 'got a few years in there, huh?" he replies "A good deal more than that.".

but yeah theres also furniture and stuff everywhere btw, its a mess. The pack up books. During this time mark asked like. ok we cant keep these books about resisting blood bonds in her haven. and Cassidy is like. really mark. you're gonna make me haul them from the library every time ur gonna read them, and mark is like. sorry. yeah : )

They finish and return to the mainroom. lilian is on the floor, hands splayed, miserable. done with everything. cassidy makes a point to step over her.

cassidy and mark hauled books up to lillian's haven which was much smaller. and complained about stairs. together <3 lol

When they return hack is no where to be found. cassidy looks around and comments that the should not be in the back rooms. he does open the door to the second room but he asks mark to step back so he cant see in : (anyway mark ends up finding zach with sense the unseen (he went Invisible ig) and he was rifling upstairs through lillian's things

cassidy is like 'hack ive been through enough tonight please just give it back' and hack goes to the computer and types:

";)

I have to give them something, y''no"

and cassidy is like. sigh. will this make our unlives harder in the future. and he writes

"maybe a little"

and marks says “you know what that's fair” <- has done the same shit of finding something Smaller so it proves he was Trying but actually not

cassidy comments that he is sad about his clothes getting thrown around and wrecked - 'over the decades he had collected quite a collection, some of which are hard if not impossible to replace' and mark comments 'i hope the tv is ok too'

and upon saying that cassidy actually reacts as opposed to being stone faced "Oh no you're right, the tv!" and he goes right for it

drops to his knees to prop it back up. and theres a crack through a fourth of it. he looks so sad. mark turns it on and it does still display but there is that crack

mark is like its ok we can get another and cassidy is like ' but this was my first tv :('. hes sentimental about it my fucking HEART

marks like. im sorry. i can help you pick out a new one maybe. cassidy says he'll likely take mark up on that. and mark also says maybe it could be fixed and cassidy says he will also try that

but yeah its cute that he got attached to the tv T_T (edited)

anyway zach skates right back in after the bit with hack that i described above. and says. ok in the name of the authority invested in me by blah blah blah... everyone but you, get out please! (hack being that one)

sooo the three leave. And mark is like.well. good luck with everything.

Cassidy and lilian do not look very happy but give ike a half hearted thanks

mark is lowkey like. ok u could be a bit more thankful i saved ur ass and helped u clean up but OKAy . . . .

cassidy also mentions that they can still work on their shared research in a few nights

oh also mark finally got the opportunity to ask if they had showers and they do not and mark is like. wow that sucks.

Cassidy diddnt seem to care but like. dude. imagine only having washrooms. L.

thats the session!

[xxpeppermintxx109]

Pep!!!! The latest chapter absolutely FLOORED me omg it was such a rollercoaster and gave me heart palpitations throughout. Loved how the sense of foreboding was there from the start (the way the "moon tea" was delivered? SUS.) and how you built up the suspense gradually before everything crashed and burned. I always cling onto every word in your chapters bc of how much attention you put into the details but doing that for this chapter almost had me puking blood (in a good way... or maybe not 😭) But either way I loved this chapter as much as I hated what happened; AND huge love for Rhaena, she's really Shaera's strongest warrior lol love that for her!! You've also successfully won me over bc now I believe the only place for Aegon is on all fours at Rhaenyra's feet worshipping her🧎‍♂️Also, something that has been nagging at me for a while- Shaera clearly has a lot of deep-seated insecurities (her parenthood, lack of a dragon, also her self-image) that go much deeper than her outward positivity and kindness. There always seems (to me) to be a darkness in Shaera despite how sweet she is, except it hasn't really festered yet. This has me jittery bc we haven't really seen her insecurities develop that much or be expressed tangibly so far, but I feel like they're gonna become much more prominent in this arc/when the dance starts?? Couple that with Shaemond probably being separated soon and I KNOW THE ANGST IS GONNA HIT HARD. I just want my babies to be happy :''( But I want you to know that I love you and your writing so much and I'll be waiting to read whatever comes next even if it means me ripping my hair out- uni's just started for me and this is the only thing keeping me sane fr <333 Take care and I hope your treatment's working better and that you're feeling much better now ❤️️

AHH THANK U FOR THE ASK AYA!! I didn’t wanna answer this too soon after the chapter released, but I think it’s been enough days hehe.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the chapter and the way I built the tension. It was a bit of a hard chapter to format but I’m glad I went with my gut feeling in the end! I love Rhaena so much, but I also love Baela just as much. Everyone always talks about Rhaena being a shaemond shooter (real of her tbh), but I think baela needs more love sometimes. She’s really just trying to look out for Shaera and I think people forget that in the context of their world and the situations of their families, Qoren is technically the safest choice!

Yes! There’s a darkness to Shaera that doesn’t get a whole lot of focus in her current life. It’s easy to shove it all down because it hasn’t had a need to resurface but I think that it’s certainly coming out and showing itself in different ways where it normally didn’t before. The dance is certainly going to force her to confront a lot of these issues in ways that might be difficult but it’s necessary for not only Shaera but everyone around her!

Uni just restarted for me as well, so I’m glad we’re in this together! Thank you for reading and supporting! It means the world to me and I hope this was a solid answer!! :)

[lumilasi]

Hiiii I was reading FS series and so far AM LOVING IT!! (That ending doe whyyy imma cri (;—;) and just, wanted to ask how u even came up with it? Do u have favorite parts?? (Or least fave, can't imagine that personally thou (〃´∀｀)) asdgfsssd sorry if this is random or weird I just really wanted to let u know I liked it a lot! Might've skipped sleep couple times ahahaha....(^—^);

Thank U for writing! Hope u have a great day!!!!!

Hi there, sorry for late reply! (got this last night basically lol) and don't worry! It's random but in a good way lmao

(Also, don't worry things get better if you continue reading the series, trust me C; But up to you of course! I know its a long ass story when you put all 3 fics together lmao)

Also pls don't skip sleep, sleep is good! Sleep is important haha

I can't recall exactly where the idea came from, I think I was just toying with the concept of "What if AFO WASN'T absolute horse shit of a parent & Somehow friends with Toshinori WITHOUT making All Might evil?" or something along those lines.

Hmmm....I do very much like that one scene, where Hisashi and Toshinori chat in a car, or more like Toshinori shares his woes with his friend, and Hisashi says something very simple, but it is very profound in the context of the story/their relationship. (I drew this scene and wrote a whole ass essay about why I loved the scene so much for some reason lmao).

Hisashi Kicking Toshinori outta hero form was also pretty fun, namely because you as a reader KNOW who Hisashi is (and Toshinori doesn't, yet), making the whole thing kind of ironic.

Also, Tenko pretending to be a starfish. It was just one of those cute kids train of thoughts moments I really liked writing. (Since I've drawn all these scenes in question, I'll plop the artworks here so this is not just a wall of text answer lol);

As for least fave, it is actually pretty typical (at least in my case lol) that there's always something I feel like I could've written better. Don't get me wrong I very much still love FS, but even my favorite story has some things that in hindsight...if I wrote the fic now, I'd do differently. Call it learning what works/what doesn't/what could work better and all haha!

These things are:

How Hisashi's brother died. I now feel like how it went down doesn't...quite fit with the kind of character Hisashi became. It was meant to be tragic, kind of accidental, but, ehhh...maybe it doesn't feel enough like an accident? Admittedly this detail is something I could easily go and change as it's just couple of lines of dialogue and a scene, but finding those bits would probably take ages. (Will I do this small but kind of significant change? Who knows, maybe someday lol, I did rewrite an entirety of Reanimate at one point, or well one half of it back in 2020)

The whole Todoroki family sub-plot. Now, the way it was written came from the current understanding of Endeavor's character at that time (pre Touya flashbacks) which, kind of...ironically ended up making me write him worse than he actually turned out to be in canon, (Enji's still a terrible, abusive father and a person ofc, don't get me wrong, but he's def. violent sooner in my fic, than he was in canon) and now, I'd probably approach that plotline differently with the new info I have.

Maybe I wouldn't make a full on redemption arc for Enji as, well, I don't really care about his character much outside the impact he's had on his family, but def. wouldn't have written him as violent as he came off, given the timing of things.

Maybe The Midoriyas could've prevented things from going to that point it ends up in canon, and get Touya to see he has more value than just living up to his dad's amibitions, and MAYBE Enji starting to see his son as an individual, rather than his extension.

Or something. IDK.

Like said, Enji's one of the more boring characters in bnha to me, which makes writing him/focusing on him kind of difficult, hence IDK if I'd be able to pull off such an idea easily. I feel like he has very little interesting substance (to me, this is subjective OFC) outside the whole "bad dad" plot, and as a cherry on top, his design just... manages to combine a lot of things I tend to find kind of unappealing to look at in a character lmao. It's not even rescued by his writing, like what happens with All Might for example.

In fact, if I can get away with not showing Enji on-screen in a story (Without just killing him off/putting him in jail, those aren't my favorite solutions to issues like this, and have only used the former, once), while still showcasing the negative effect he's had on Dabi (and/or Shoto) I will do it. Quite obviously, I did not feel like it'd work for FS, not having him be on-screen at all.

....Well this is a long answer, this last part got especially rambly, but kind of fitting given how long my stories tend to be too haha! Hope it satisfied your curiosity :D

[thekaijudude]

It's probably too early to say this, but do you think Blazar would be a silent ultra? Early leaks said he talks weird but based on the trailer he doesn't seem to talk. Plus I'd imagine they would already announce his VA by now if he did. Kinda worries me a bit

Also on a different note, could blazar's forms be him changing to ultras with a different name? Since his base form wasn't given a name. His transformation jingle also sounds a bit incomplete to me so maybe we could see his jingle become more complete and grander as time goes on

Blazar should be able to communicate as for one, its literally one of the core themes of the series if u read the plot synopsis literally points out "communication between human and ultraman"

In addition, Gento is also tasked by his superiors with figuring out if Blazar is a threat to be eliminated. If Blazar can't communicate (or at least demonstrate some form of independent sentience), this makes the entire premise kinda moot, like for example, say Blazar is like Decker, which is literally just a body and essentially the host himself.

As for the VA point, they dont really announce all the main cast at this point tho? Usually its over time from now up till the release of the special episode. So you can stay tuned for that.

For your last point, as I talked about it extensively here:

The current Blazar we are seeing is very obviously a juvenile/anphans form, but by specifically designating the form with the implied juvenility would kind of spoil and ruin the surprise for Blazar's further evolutions no?

Tho another way to interpret your last question would be if Blazar's complete form be named differently? Such as the Next-Nexus-Noa gimmick

This may be entirely possible as well since Blazar is very obviously a huge Nexus reference. In fact, the Blazar we see rn may not even be a Nexus equivalent, but the Next's. This means Blazar might follow a path of the Next-Nexus-Noa evolution line (if u didnt know alr, Next evolved into Nexus) and be named differently after each evolution.

I mean the fact that hes named Blazar is quite peculiar alr, cause Blazars are a rarer type of Quasars (Light emitting Black holes essentially). So we might see that perhaps his next evolved state might be called Quasar?

Going even beyond to his final form, it can either be called Pulsar (Neutron star), Collapsar (Hypernova essentially) or even just Ultraman Nova or sth of the same nature

We should be seeing his next evolution state in the middle followed by his final form by the end of the series. Which corresponds to the catalog leak we got that Blazar won't be getting any new forms up till at least Sept. And I believe that Blazar would most probably get his final, completed form by the end of the series instead of the movie as if we look at the prior 2 movies, the main Ultras don't really gain any new forms (Decker even lost 3 of his forms technically speaking, but of course he most likely gained it all back during the 10 year timeskip) so we would most probably see Blazar's completed form again against someone like Dark Lucifer or sth

Or they could very well just stick with Blazar and then within the series itself, the characters themselves specify the stages of evolution of Blazar retroactively, like Blazar Anphans, Blazar Junis etc

Thanks for the question!

[dbzebra]

hii wondering if u hv any tips for writing long multi-chap fics for a first timer? currently having a general plot but dk how to expand it:((

Hey! So writing multi chaptered fics is hard. Really hard tbh. Though it’s also alotta fun!

With Surpassing the Strongest I’m kinda going in all on my own too so I relate on struggling to expand it. All I have the 3 episodes we got during End of Z and I’m going a totally different direction.

It’s has been tough ngl, and I almost gave up because I couldn’t think of anything but I have a plan now thanks to talking things out with friends. (Mostly. There’s still a lot of blank space I need to work on) Not trying to scare you off or anything, but I just wanted to give you some context on where I’m coming from.

Anyway my first tip is to find your main character, and give them a motivation for the story to progress. For example, in my fic it’s that Goten wants to surpass his dad. And the fic is about the Tournament, him getting stronger and the obstacles in his way.

I eventually realized that a whole fic about fighting would be boring to write and read, so I developed a side plot which slowly had become the main plot lol. The Tournament still happens but not every fight gets focus.

So once you find their motivation, you can move forward from there. What/who gets in their way? How do they solve it? Things like that. Focus on your main character first with their main problem.

Knowing the characters well helps too, because you know the type of decisions they’d make or things they’d say which will help guide the story too.

Another thing, start small. Most people cant a 80+ chapter fic their first time, especially by themselves. Fics like that have a whole team. I tried writing a fic that was gonna be 100 chapters and I got burned out at 34. So I suggest aim low. 10-15 chapters is a good starting point.

Sorry this is really general and vague, but starting out you kinda just need that little idea to expand upon. Im not the best at advice like this.

if you can give me a little more details on this fic I’d be able to help a lot more.

Having someone to bounce back and forth with helped me so much, I’d be so open to do that with you if you don’t mind!

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Mew: hey MEMORY, do you know Candice-

MEMORY, beast form: YOUR MOTHER HUNG HERSELF, GRAAAAAAAAHHH-

(source: spine-apples, Youtube)

✨Random Quotes From The Fam✨

Let's-a go!

(@martysgachaworld i thank you)

[the fam's at an amusement park, currently on a rollercoaster that's dark]

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: I CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYTHIIIIIIIING!!!

The entire fam: wHEEZE-

.

[mewtwo is singing a song to Celeste, she joins in... And apperently MEMORY is filming them]

Mewtwo: ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!

MEMORY: lol.

.

[IN THE FUTURE...]

Mary, the moment mewtwo's BIOLOGICAL CHILD enters the fray: congratulations! It's a harbinger.

(context: mewtwo and Celeste are both very dangerous if you make them mad, don't try shit with them or you're not seeing your loved ones for a while)

.

Mewtwo, gun in hand: tell me the name of god you monochrome piece of shit.

MEMORY: can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.

Mewtwo, cocking the gun, tears streaming down his face: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU.

.

(reference)

Lakota: hey, hey look at me.

Mewtwo: ?

Lakota: bitch.

(context: this is based off a comic @mewtwoandme made where mewtwo is nicknamed VIRGIN MARY-)

.

Mewtwo, standing on the fridge like a cat: hey Adam, guess what! *BITCH SLAP* fuck you!

Mewtwo, falling off the fridge: oop- WOAHH-

(source: Youtube, KLR productions i think was the name)

.

Adam: *practicing the piano, playing a very old familiar tune...*

Mewtwo: SAIL!! *RIP PIANO AND ADAM DEAD BY SMACC LMAO*

.

Mewtwo, at MEMORY: fuck you, you basic dick-sucking epileptic penguin.

(@esmam1ss2n9shu773r )

.

Alex, who doesn't know Team Fortress 2: Spy tryin' to say shi in italian be like.

Mewtwo: that is french you unsalted slab of margarine.

Mary: that's french...

Adam: Spy is french.

.

[the couple is playing PHASMOPHOBIA]

Mewtwo: Daniel Johnson...

Celeste: ohh my god...

Mewtwo: why- all the lights are off now.

Mewtwo: ... And they don't turn on- OHH MY GOD I SEE IT.

Mewtwo: OOOOOHHHH- RUN, RUN, RUN.

Mewtwo: OOOOHHH FOR FUCK- HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!

Mewtwo: OHMYGOD did you see it!?

Celeste: noo i just ran!

Mewtwo: OHMYGOD lucky you! Let's get the fuck outta here!

Celeste: i just ran! I just ran.

Mewtwo: ohmygod- *sniff* ah fuck-

Celeste: i just ran!

Mewtwo: i summoned it! Because i called it's name! Ah fuck!

Mewtwo: *can't speak* let's leave! Let's pack and leave!

[LATER ON...]

Mewtwo: oh my- gooooood.

Celeste: aah fuck babe-

Mewtwo: *scarred for life probably*

(source: "I Cried, She Cried, We Died" - Nano, Youtube)

.

[Adam is playing Squad with some friends, they're in a car]

Dude 1: he got on his motorbike (blabla)

Dude 2: truck in front.

*... What is that-*

Dude 1: RPG right.

Adam: is that a-

Yep...

That's a drone with several IEDs attached to it.

Pretty crafty.

Honestly.

I ain't even mad.

Adam: -drone?

*BOOM-*

...

Adam, eating the mic lol: there was an IED on that drone.

Adam: what. the flying fu-

(source: this)

.

[mewtwo is playing Resident Evil 8, got to the ending]

*Ethan pulls out the trigger thingy for the bomb*

Mewtwo: yipee kayay motherfucker.

*Ethan presses the trigger*

(source: also Nano, Youtube, "Going Out With A Bang - Resident Evil Village part 6")

.

[again, Resident Evil 8, got to the terrifying baby monstrosity bit]

Baby monstrosity: *giggling* daadaaaa!

Mewtwo, terrified to death: no dada, dada is crying under the bed right now, come back later...

.

[@martysgachaworld x @the-project-and-the-ghost AU, THE PART WHERE THEY DID IT]

Mewtwo: plays keyboard.

Mewtwo: LET'S GO-

*M U S I C*