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farfromstrange · 2 years ago

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Foreigner's God | m.m

Previous Chapter ° Series Masterlist

Chapter Forty-Four: Cold As You

Summary: Eliza searches for answers in the one person she thought she would never have to see again, but she is desperate to figure out what is going on with her mind. Breaking into SHIELD proves harder than planned and she finds herself with more decisions to make than she wanted, and finally hits back at the man who ruined her life.

Warnings: ANGST, nightmare, panic attack, blood, emotional hurt/comfort, attempt at humor, bad legal talk, Infinity War & Endgame spoilers, allusions to child molestation, mentions of past mental manipulation and torture, mentions of suicide, mentions of sex (but nothing explicit), fixing the Karen erasure by giving her a time to shine

A/n: I'm back at it with the angst. It's been a while since I've written something darker, so I'm finally making my big ANGST comeback because it is written in capital letters and we all know what that means... take the warnings seriously, please. Also, this only has like 9,000 words. I managed to get under 10,000?? That is new for me and I'm kind of proud of myself for keeping this on the shorter end. Have fun reading! (Also, thank you all for your support! It really means the world to me and I can't wait to continue this story with you all)

She was trapped in the circle again. The crystals around her drove in circles around her, offering no point of escape. What were they trying to tell her? They were speaking a language she didn’t recognize, voices only she could hear inside her head. They kept getting louder like a swarm of bees in her eyes, or the flapping of million of flies’ wings.

She pressed her hands to her temples, trying to keep her head upright, but the noise only kept getting louder and louder and louder to the point she felt as if she was about to explode. Her brain couldn’t comprehend the pictures she saw, the blue and purple galaxy around her, and the voices that were familiar yet so strange.

Out of the fog, a familiar face appeared. “Matt?” she asked. His picture was getting clearer now.

The stones wouldn’t let her through. She was forced to watch in horror as his limbs turned to dust and he fell to his knees, disappearing into the floor. He was swept away by the universe.

“No,” she slapped a hand in front of her mouth, “This can’t be real. This isn’t real.”

Beginning to slap her cheeks, she squeezed her eyes shut to somehow escape the hell she was trapped in. But as soon as she did, she was falling again, and this time the ground seemed too far out of reach. She was free falling to her death. She wished she could turn to dust like the man she loved, it would make the suffering worthwhile, but she was alive and she was forced to see what her existence meant. Destruction, chaos, blood, and death.

She was caught in a time loop, it seemed, where she had to watch her friends and family living and dying. The same thing happened over and over again, in different places and different colors. The lines across the universe broke apart with every picture she saw, the stones traveling the same distance she was falling.

She had to watch the man she loved die over and over again, in all kinds of cruel ways. Every time she tried to reach for the open hole in the galaxy to save him, another gush of wind made her fall even faster. She could scream his name as many times as she wanted to, but he continued dying with every flashing picture, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She was crying. She couldn’t lose him anymore, she couldn’t watch him turn to dust over and over again; she just needed this hell to stop.

Eventually, though, she accepted her fate. And when she opened her eyes, the stones exploded into a thousand tiny pieces and she finally hit the same mirror she had once broken. The galaxy broke apart, holes were torn into the sky, red clouding her vision, and she woke up with a loud gasp, trying to get the lost air into her lungs.

Distraught, her arms flailed wildly to get rid of the suffocating touch on her arm. “Sweetheart,” Matt’s voice reached through to her. He wasn’t dead, although it felt as if she was dreaming once again. He would turn to dust if she touched him, she was sure of that.

Dust… why dust?

“Baby. Baby, look at me!”

She was panting, eyes switching between the wall and the door. What if someone came in to hurt them, but they would leave her and killed him instead? Just to hurt her, they would kill him. It would be her fault.

She jumped out of bed, hands at the ready to fight whatever enemy would come their way. She wasn’t quite present yet, and no matter how cold the floor felt under her feet, reality only seeped in agonizingly slowly and kept the alarms in her head burning brightly. The sound made it impossible for her to hear anything.

Matt sat on the bed, his hair disheveled, and his sightless eyes pointed somewhere at the wall next to her. They were wide, eyebrows raised, and his mouth slightly agape. He stretched his arm out. He wasn’t the enemy, but she knew that. She was waiting for someone else to come through the door. She wasn’t scared of him, she was scared of what was out there.

“Eliza,” he said her name, and she knew it was serious. It made her mind reel in a completely different direction, what are you doing?

She looked around, not sure what to say. She wasn’t sure what was happening.

“Liz, hey,” he kept his voice soft, “It was just a dream. You’re okay, I’m not trying to hurt you. You’re safe here. I need you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?”

She tried, but she couldn’t. Her back hit the wall and she slid down slowly, knees pulled up to her chest. The water rose to her lungs.

He scrambled out of bed and knelt before her. “Okay, I need you to breathe. Focus on your breathing,” he said. “I’m here, you’re okay, I just need you to breathe for me.”

Eliza stared into his eyes through the tears that blurred her vision. She looked at him as she tried to get the air back in through her nose and out through her mouth. She followed his instruction, the world slowly becoming clearer with each passing second, and the burning in her chest turned into a tiny flame that she could stomp out.

“There you go. Good girl. You’re okay.”

She shivered, wrecked by a sudden wave of sobs. “You died,” she choked out. “You died so, so many times. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t save you. I can’t- I don’t know what’s happening to me, Matt. I’m scared. My head- my head is splitting. The world is falling apart. Space and- and time, everything’s breaking. I can’t- I can’t stop it. It won’t stop. Make it stop!”

He was next to her suddenly, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest. Matt held her tightly, her ear pressed to his left, right over his beating heart. He covered the other, tuning out the noise around them. He rubbed soothing circles over her heated skin and the bandage he could now smell the blood out of. She popped her stitches when she was writhing in bed, probably leaving the wound wide open. Eliza didn’t seem to notice. She was crying so heavily, he considered shaking her to get her to stop and breathe. He hated to feel the pain she was in but not knowing how to stop it or make it easier for her to deal with.

The sound of his heartbeat coaxed her back into consciousness, his hand on her ear stopping the screaming in her head. She exhaled, the sobs subsiding but leaving her shaking, still. She clawed at his shirt. He was her lifeline.

“You’re doing so good,” he murmured into the crown of her head.

Her muscles relaxed, melting into him, and she let him carry her.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

They were lying in bed and had been doing so for a while before she allowed herself to speak.

Matt shushed her. “Don’t apologize. I get nightmares too.”

“This was different. It felt so… real.”

“Our minds can play cruel tricks on us.”

“I had the same dream while I was knocked out. What is happening to me?”

She hoped he would offer her something she could hold onto that would make her feel less insane.

“You hit your head,” he said. “Pair that with the blast of alien tech, I think you were just confused. I could feel the power in the air, and it was stronger than anything I felt before. You took the whole force, so I don’t think you’re going crazy, your head is just a little banged up right now.” To underline his words, he stroked her hair back. “But you’re okay,” he reassured her, “because you’re not alone. I have you.”

That sufficed. “Okay, thank you,” she said.

“Get some rest now. I’ll make sure the demons stay away.”

“Matt?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

She fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

The next day was a blur. Eliza sat over the legal files she was supposed to write a report on, but all she could think about was that godforsaken dream. All she could think about was the pictures she saw, the stones and the endless fall, and on top of that, she kept thinking about a gigantic lie she carried with herself and now had to entertain because it was too late to tell him — Sister Maggie is Matt Murdock’s mother. It kept continuously hitting the back of her head like a bouncing ball.

How does one go about dealing with such knowledge? There was the possibility of a multiverse, a threat she couldn’t put her finger on and then there was her boyfriend, someone so kindhearted, he didn’t deserve to be lied to, but she did it anyway. She did the one thing she promised herself she would never do because she knew damn well what it felt like to be lied to.

Her head hurt and so did her heart. Everything hurt. Her soul was torn apart. Her head was splitting. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her composure.

She needed to understand why she dreamed what she had dreamt. She needed to understand what was happening to her heart, why her powers were acting funny, and why the infinity stones she saw were suddenly trying to speak to her when she was close to them, even if it was just a hallucination. Reality works in funny ways and she could feel it in her hands. Time ran through her fingers like an hourglass.

Eliza figured the happiness she had felt before wouldn’t last. It was the calm before the storm. She couldn’t let this destroy her life or her relationship like the secret of Matt’s mother would if he ever found out she lied to him. She had to keep quiet for his sake and partly for hers. It was selfish, but she didn’t care. The truth would tear him to shreds, Father Lantom was right. It was too late to pull out now, anyway.

Her father was dead, and so was her mother. Her file told the truth about her heritage and what she was born with, but it didn’t go into detail. The video Anton left her explained nothing, it only made her feel more guilty about selling him out and made forgiveness an easier task. The letter her mother left her was just as useless when viewed from a rational standpoint that relied on facts and figures. She didn’t know what was happening, and the foreshadowing of her parents did nothing but put her on edge when she thought back to what she heard.

Who else could help her? Bruce was lost somewhere, Tony wasn’t a doctor, Happy was just a man and she couldn’t go to a doctor’s office and have her checked out. The only people who knew or could figure out what was going on were either dead or off the planet — Thor and Asgard could help; she was half confused why they hadn’t shown as her father predicted, but perhaps they were right about her purpose and she was worth more on earth than somewhere else. Right now, she didn’t care though. She needed to know.

She thought about Mueller. He killed himself. He could have found answers, but he died too. They were all dead. All of the sources she could have turned to were gone and so she was left with a burden too heavy for her to carry.

Except there was one person. The man who raised her. The man who helped shape her into what he wanted her to be.

“Oh, no,” she muttered to herself.

It was not a thought she was supposed to have. But she was desperate and desperate people make stupid decisions, especially her. She swore she would stop being reckless, but opinions tend to change and hers switched as soon as the thought crossed her mind. She hated the thought, but her mind told her that it was the only way, and even the rational part of her agreed. This wasn’t being reckless, this was being desperate for answers, and she would take the risk gladly.

The door to the conference room was open, but she still missed when Karen came in. “Hey, is your wifi working?” she asked.

Eliza jolted, her head shooting up. When she saw her colleague, she closed her eyes and sighed a breath of relief.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I should have knocked.”

She waved it off. “It’s fine, I’m just a little jumpy lately,” she said. “Not your fault.”

Checking the icon on the bottom left of her laptop, she noticed the exclamation mark next to the wifi symbol.

“Yeah, no, mine’s out.”

“Great,” Karen cursed, “I was just doing our tax reports and the damn wifi stops working halfway through.”

“Have you tried banging on the router?”

“I did, yeah. Twice. It’s not working.”

“Okay,” Eliza rose to her feet, “Let me take a look at it. Sometimes it’s a glitch in the system. I’ll see if I can fix it.”

She sighed, “You’re a lifesaver.”

One look at the router told her that the issues with the wifi were caused by how old it was, and they chose the cheapest model, too. She hit it with twice Karen’s strength, almost breaking the plastic, but then the lights went on and her laptop chimed in response.

Karen beamed. “Thank God!”

“You need to hit it harder, sometimes to the point it almost breaks,” Eliza explained, “Or else it’s just not gonna work. But now that we’re already on the issue, we should work on getting you better internet. This thing is old as fuck.”

“It was the cheapest,” she jumped to her defense.

“I know, but you guys are financially stable now and I want to make sure it stays that way. Functioning internet can go a long way.”

She looked between the offices on either end of the room. “Where are they, anyway?” she asked.

“They-” Karen’s frown told her that she was supposed to know why Matt’s office was empty and Foggy was nowhere in sight either. “They told us earlier that they had a meeting at lunch,” she said. “They were going to check the police station for possible cases. They do that sometimes. You don’t remember?”

Anyone else would have made fun of her for being so forgettable, but she just looked concerned.

It dawned on her. They did say that in the morning, Eliza remembered. Looking at the clock, she also realized that it had been five hours since then and that she spent the duration of those five hours staring at a blank page.

“Huh,” she scoffed. “You’re right, I completely forgot.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I haven’t slept that much last night.”

“Oh, because of-” her smirk turned suggestive and the heat rose to her cheek at what she was suggesting.

“No!” Eliza stammered. “We didn’t- it’s not because of that. Jesus, no. At least not last night.”

Karen’s smirk grew even bigger. “Okay, that might be too much, but is he any good?”

Her blush deepened.

“'cause, I mean, he is attractive. Foggy said he was quite active in college, so I was just wondering. Two hot people-”

“Wait,” she said, “Two- you find me hot?”

“What?” It was Karen’s turn to stammer. “Well, I- okay, this is getting weird.”

She was bright red now, too, her pale skin making it easy to see the embarrassment embedded in her skin. Her blue eyes turned anywhere but forward, hands fidgeting, and she made sure the hair fell into her face to cover most of her blush. It didn’t work.

Eliza licked her lips, scratching her temple, then turned back to her. “He is good,” she answered. The situation grew no less weird, but at least she steered off the awkward conversation about why Karen found her hot, not that it mattered, but they weren’t exactly close friends that would say such things about each other.

“How good?” Karen questioned. “I’m not asking this because I’m a pervert,” she chuckled, a high-pitched sound in the hot office air, “No, I’m just asking because I am getting way too little action, like none at all and I was just curious. I need to hear crazy sex stories or I might go crazy.”

“Six times good.”

“In one night?”

“Sometimes seven. Eight when I don't tap out first. The highest we went was ten, I think, but that was with snack breaks. And yes, in one night."

“Oh, God!” She slumped into her chair. “I need sex. Like, I need sex that is that good. I mean, honestly, ten times? And you-" Karen wasn't sure how to phrase it, and she was too much of a chicken to say it flat out.

"Cum?" She had absolutely no filter. "Oh, I do. I always do. Did you think the ten times were all for him?"

"Oh, that sounds so good."

"It is good. Amazing, mind-blowing, out of this world," Eliza counted down all the adjectives she could find to describe just what it felt like to have sex with Matt, but nothing cut even close and she felt proud that he was so incomparable.

She whined again. "Ugh! Why does life hate me? I'd be happy with just one orgasm, but I just can't find a man that knows how to do shit."

Eliza hated what desperation did to her. She had always been rather sneaky, but this was a new one. The worst part was, she didn’t feel guilty. She wasn’t doing this just to be selfish, it was a quid pro quo, but poor Karen didn’t even know what she would be helping her do.

She pulled a chair toward her desk and settled down. Other than Natasha, she never had a real friend of the same sex that she could share steamy stories with. Not sure how those relationships worked, she decided she would try her best going by what she observed.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said.

Karen raised her eyebrows. “A deal?” she asked.

“Yeah, a deal. I’m going to tell you something now. I’m going to tell you what happened behind what you saw on the news because I want you to know that I take this seriously, and then you’re going to do me a favor. In return, we are going to hit the streets and I am going to help you get laid. I know quite a few places here in New York where you can find good-looking guys or girls, whatever floats your boat. The quality of the sex needs to be judged first though 'cause I think finding a Matt Murdock is impossible, but anyway! The question is, do you trust me?”

She seemed taken aback. The sun hit her blonde hair in a way that made it look red. Karen contemplated, weighing the pros and the cons, and then settled on an answer.

It was an unconventional friendship, but she needed one of those.

“I trust you,” she said. “So, we have a deal, as long as you won’t lie to me.”

“We have a deal, that kind of secures my promise of honesty. I used to be an Avenger, and we take loyalty seriously.”

Loyalty. She was a hypocrite. She lied to Matt, the person she swore her undying honesty to, and she broke that. He didn’t yet know she broke it, but he would find out eventually. All of the decisions she made would come back to haunt her and bite her in the ass. She would be the one to ruin their relationship, she would ruin the future Matt seemed to be planning and she would ruin all the good she built for herself in such a short amount of time. It only took one bad decision and everything was back to being as fucked up as it used to be.

At the beginning of the retelling, Karen didn’t think much. She expected to encounter some information that would mess with her brain, but she was prepared for setting foot into a world so foreign yet so close. She had been around for the Battle of New York, and she knew that aliens existed and what they could do. She knew about the Avengers, accepted what they could do, and accepted there were things she could never truly understand if she didn’t live the same life as the group of heroes.

When Sokovia happened, she watched the news in shock, but her life had already been messy enough back then to care. When Lagos happened, she found herself wondering about how dangerous mutants might be, and then the Sokovia Accords were set in place to control the very mutants she questioned before. She never once agreed with the decision made by the court. Of course, mutants were different, but they weren’t more dangerous than the criminals walking the streets, and treating them like animals weren’t the right way to approach the topic.

She wasn’t a big fan of Tony Stark, especially not after what happened with Union Allied and the fight with Fisk that almost broke them apart. She hated rich people. It was a part of her she didn’t want to change. To her, billionaires were pretentious bastards and deserved nothing. She was an anti-capitalist, and she stood by that.

Though as Eliza told her the story of what she had been through, she started to understand more about why she was the way she was. It broke her heart. She treated her like an intruder when she was anything but, and she would curse herself for a long time for what she did.

“Your staring is quite unsettling,” said Eliza. Her words had long faded and she watched Karen intently for a sign of life. “I know this was a lot, but maybe you can say something?”

She swallowed. “I’m-” Why did her voice sound so weak? Karen cleared her throat and tried again to say, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, thank God, you’re alive.”

“You- you almost died because you were shot?”

“Yes.”

“Hydra took you as a child, experimented on you, tortured and brainwashed you, turned you into an assassin, but then SHIELD saved you, trained you to be someone better until the Avengers came around and then you became a hero?”

She nodded again. “Yes.”

“And then Hydra came back to get you, but you were working with Daredevil – the Daredevil, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen – so you unveiled their plan, but they ended up kidnapping you, tortured you again, killed your father, and then tried to kill you?”

“And they almost succeeded, too. I was clinically dead for thirty minutes, but I came back, so now I’m not dead.”

“Oh, my God.” If thoughts were visible, there would have been smoke coming out of Karen’s ears. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Daredevil saved my life,” Eliza said. “I know people say he’s dangerous, but-”

“I know he isn’t because he saved my life too.” Karen’s hand found hers. “You didn’t deserve any of the things they did to you,” she said, “and I’m so terribly sorry that I judged you by the lies the media spread about you. It wasn’t fair. Or judging you for your relationship with Matt when you are one of the most mature people I’ve ever met. You’ve been through so much and treating you like that wasn’t fair. I get it now. I’m so sorry.”

She squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, I’m better now.” She wasn’t, she was spiraling down and something wasn’t quite right with her head.

“So, uh,” Karen tried to regain her composure, “You said there is something I can help you with? Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Could she?

“I need you to help me get away with something so Matt doesn’t find out,” she said, and the look she received was one of confusion. Eliza gnawed at her bottom lip. “It’s nothing bad, he’s just very overprotective and I need to be alone for a couple of hours.”

“To do what, exactly?”

“I need to meet an old friend. A friend I had when I was still an Avenger.”

Eliza could be extremely quick on her feet, especially when it came to telling lies. She scared herself at how easily the words came over her lips.

“And he can’t find that out because it’s a little dangerous in the legal sense,” she said, “and he wants to make sure I don’t go to jail, which I understand, but this is a short meeting I have to attend because I need answers on something no one else but that friend can give me.”

He wasn’t a friend, he was a foe, but Karen didn’t need to know that.

The explanation seemed to make her curious and maybe a little suspicious, but she had her fair share of secrets, so she gave in. “Tell him we’re going out tonight to bond,” she said.

“What, seriously?”

“We made a deal. We’re going to pretend that we’re spending time together while you go about your business and then tomorrow, we’ll go out so I can get laid. That was the deal, right?”

“Right,” she answered quickly, “You’re right, that was the deal. Thank you, Karen! I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“He’d probably find out and lock you in at home like Rapunzel in her tower.”

“That-” she laughed, “Okay, that’s true.”

“And I desperately need a wingman,” she said.

And for what Karen was willing to do for her, she deserved Eliza’s best performance at finding someone that would absolutely destroy her in the best ways possible.

Her plan was simple: Get a taxi to the SHIELD base, sneak in through the back, and have Maria Hill, the only person willing to help her always, disable the security so she could get in unnoticed. Once she was inside, she only had to stay away from the security cameras and find her way to the prison cells in the basement. For that, she needed security clearance, but she convinced Maria to give her the key that would give her access to every inch of the base. Then, she only had to outrun security, distract them or knock them out to reach her target that was locked away in one of the most secure cells in the entire compound. It was simple and sounded so easy, but the not getting caught part was the hardest one.

She had infiltrated many government facilities, but Nick Fury was smart and he had his ways. Thanks to Maria, she could get in unnoticed, but the rest was on her. And if Maria was asked, she would have to fold to keep her job, which would get her cover blown faster than she got in.

Viktor Volkov was a murderous asshole that ruined her life and took her childhood and her pride, but she was in control now and he was locked away with no opportunity to touch her. She was safe from him. She had the upper hand. He was an asshole and a pedophile but he was the only one who knew her ‘condition’ better than most. She grew up with him. He raised her, supervised the experiments, and used her in the ways he saw fit, which meant he knew the extent she could go to back then, and after figuring out what was really inside of her, he still knew more than she ever did. He was the only one who could help her and she would get her answers, come what may.

She made it as far as the lower level, the hallway she had to get through to reach the stairs that would make it easier to go lower. She triggered a sound distraction at the opposite end, causing the guards to split up and jog in the opposite direction. The red light of the security camera shut off and she thanked Maria for being such a good friend. She didn’t even have to explain, she just told her she had to speak with him and get some things straight and that Fury wasn’t to find out. She agreed to help. One hand washed the other. She owed her. This was treason, technically, going behind his back, and she risked a lot by helping her out. But when did Maria Hill ever care about being a rebel? She was born for it.

Eliza looked around the corner first. The hallway was clear. She looked to her left, taking a few steps back. She thought she ran back into the wall, but instead, she hit something a lot… softer.

She jumped around when she realized it was a body, hands at the ready to fight, but the red eyes looking down at her almost in pure disappointment made her scream.

“Jesus Fuck!” she held her heart. “You scared the crap out of me.” Taking a closer look, her face fell. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” she asked. Her voice sounded shrill and he flinched, purposely so.

Matt opened his mouth, surprised she even had to ask. “What am I- what are you doing here?” he shot back.

“I asked first.”

“I asked second.”

“I was just… visiting my friends,” Eliza said. “What’s your excuse, hm? You don't have any friends here."

He cocked his head. “You were just casually visiting your SHIELD friends in a secret government facility, in your suit, the one I had Melvin design for you?”

She shrugged. “I felt fancy.”

“The suit isn’t fancy, it’s practical. It’s meant for fighting. It's not meant to be paraded around, but you know that. The fact that you used it so you could break in-”

His lecturing tone made her roll her eyes. That he even got to judge. He broke in too, after all.

“I didn’t break in. I had a key.”

“Where the fuck did you get a key to this place?” His voice grew more and more agitated with every passing word from her end.

“Obviously not fucking eBay,” she deadpanned. “I got it from Maria, who just happens to be my friend.”

“Oh, so now Hill’s helping you break into her workplace, a secure government facility with a security presence higher than the Empire State?”

“So what if she did? You broke in too, you hypocrite!”

“Because I was following you,” he said.

“You were following me?” She was afraid of that. “You stalker!” Eliza screeched. “Can’t I just have one night to myself?” Her face was starting to grow red and he didn’t look better.

The argument was useless. She was fucked anyway. He made her and now her mission was at risk. Matt wouldn’t let her proceed, not even when the Devil came out to play. He wanted to kill Viktor and he would do so still if he ever got the chance, but he also wouldn’t because he found back to faith and himself. It was a weird space in the in-between, and she hated it.

He sneered, “You can if you’re not getting yourself in danger. What did you tell me? You were going to have a girls' night with Karen?”

“Maybe I was.”

“No, you weren’t. I could tell she was lying the second she said she was leaving to meet you. Seriously, you got Karen into this? What did you tell her?”

“She’s my friend,” she argued, “and also, I told her everything. That’s why she helped me.”

He stared blankly behind the mask.

She huffed, biting her cheek guiltily, and dropped her shoulders. “I told her some things,” she corrected herself at his deadpan expression. “Doesn’t matter anyway. I needed her to stall so I could get in here because I knew you were going to try and stop me.”

“Damn right, I did! You are so reckless,” he snapped, “what is wrong with you?”

“From the top of my head, I’d say a lack of parental affection and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and crippling depression.”

“Would you mind taking this seriously?”

“Would you mind leaving me alone?”

She was being childish, she knew that but the fact he followed her to stop her did not sit right with her and she was beyond pissed off.

Matt chuckled. It was one of his dark chuckles, the one reserved for either roleplay in the bedroom or for all the nights he walked the streets of Hell’s Kitchen as Daredevil, the man without fear. It was the breathless chuckle that left most criminals shaking because he proved to them how much he enjoyed enforcing justice, how much he enjoyed beating them to a puddle so his city could be a better place. It was then that Eliza realized she had fucked up, and he wasn’t going to let this slide.

“Sweetheart, you better tell me what you’re doing here before I have to force you,” he said. His voice resembled a low growl, sounding like boots scraping over gravel.

She pouted, answering, “I was visiting my friends.”

“Stop bullshitting me!” He echoed through the hallway and she flinched.

“Jesus, Matt, stay quiet!”

“Tell me,” he demanded.

She couldn’t say no to the Devil, but oh did she want to, and he had pissed her off enough for the night. She loved him but this went too far. He had crossed clear boundaries and she wasn’t going to let this slide.

She opened her arms in exasperation. “What do you care?”

“What do I— I’m your boyfriend.”

“No,” Eliza replied sternly, “Right now you are Daredevil and he has no business being here or following me.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll take the mask off.” He did so, removing the cowl and staring at her intently. “There,” he said, “I’m Matt Murdock, your boyfriend. Now tell me what the fuck you’re doing here!”

“I don’t answer to you. You have no right to control me. I’m not your property.”

“I’m not treating you like property, I just care about you,” she was surprised at how soft he sounded all of a sudden, “and I really want to know what you were thinking so I can make sure you don’t get hurt.”

He heard the footsteps too late. The security guards came around the corner, guns at the ready, and the pair sighed in defeat. It was of no use fighting the SHIELD Agents tasked to protect the facility, especially not so deep down, and since the light on the cameras was blinking again, Fury knew exactly where they were and what they were doing.

They put their arms up and behind their heads.

She sighed. “Great,” her eyes rolled back, “You managed to trigger the fucking security alert, congratulations.”

“I did?” Matt retorted. “You were screaming bloody murder.”

“Well, now we’re getting arrested-” she hissed when one of the guards pushed against her back. “I took measures to make sure this doesn’t happen. You completely fucked with my plan.”

“Oh, sorry I was trying to protect my girlfriend from getting killed!”

She struggled to find words, “Who would kill me in here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why are we arguing?”

“I don’t know!”

"Honestly, the audacity you have sometimes-"

The security guards pushed them down the hall, into the elevator. They both stood trapped with the heavily armed men in the small space that slowly started to feel suffocating.

He turned his head to her. “Should we fight them?” he asked.

In response, a gun pressed into his lower back, as did hers.

“Nevermind.”

Eliza scowled at him. "You are so not getting laid the next two weeks," she said.

"I can take good care of myself, thank you," he retorted. "I'm not the one who has trouble masturb-"

"Okay, would you stop? You are disturbing the security guards."

"You started talking about our sex life."

"Which will be non-existent for three weeks now," she grinned sourly at him, "Congratulations. Have fun with your hand- hey!" One of the guards dug his gun further into her hip. "Would you mind?" she asked.

He didn't even look at her.

"Unbelievable."

They were forced into a room somewhere on the first floor, and the door shut behind them as fast as it had opened. On each end of what seemed to be another conference room at the other side of the compound, a guard stood to protect the doors.

Eliza realized they weren’t there to prevent Matt from leaving because he had accepted his fate, they were there to make sure she didn’t make a run for it.

She paced the floor with angry steps, her fists balled at her sides, and she muttered curses under her breath that were anything but friendly.

Matt sighed. “Would you stop pacing?”

She glared at him. “No.”

“Eliza, please, just sit down. It’s of no use-”

“If these guys would do something other than standing around and being useless,” she said and stepped up to one of them, “I could get out of here, but I am once again held against my will, which would be terrifying if I couldn’t break his fucking neck if I wanted to right fucking now.”

The guard flinched back.

“Would you stop threatening the security guards?” he asked from behind her, at this point beyond tired of her shenanigans. “Sit down,” his demand was louder this time, “or I’ll pull you into my lap and make sure you stay there.”

“Take your shot.”

She should have known he would stay true to his promise. His arm slung around her waist and pulled her back into his chest. She struggled, but he had her pressed tightly to him, she couldn’t move. He wasn’t sitting however, he was holding her as he stood, and her heart calmed at the grounding stroke of his hand along her side.

He cooed into her ear, “I know you’re mad at me right now, but I only followed you because I was worried. Now, you can hate me all you want, but at least I got you in my arms again, safe and sound.”

His silver tongue be damned.

“Whatever brought you here, it’s okay, we can talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she said, “I just want answers.”

“Answers about what?” he asked.

“Myself.”

“What?”

The door opened and his grip on her eased. They turned to the man that entered, his black leather coat dangling dangerously close over the ground. Nick Fury stood in all his one-eyed glory, the look of disappointment causing his forehead to wrinkle, but then again he always looked like that. His arms were crossed behind his back, undoubtedly holding something he didn’t want them to see yet.

He eyed Matt first, then Eliza. His face fell even further. “I taught you better than that,” he said. “That was an awful break-in.”

She chuckled sourly. “Well, I was in a hurry,” she said.

“Still weak. And talking about your sex life while guns are pointed at your backs? What are you?" he cocked his head, "Twelve?"

“What do you want, Nick?”

“I’m curious as to what led you two fools here.”

“I had a mission, he was following me.”

Matt scoffed, “You make me sound like an asshole.”

“I love you, but right now you are,” she said.

“Whatever your marital dispute is,” Nick cut their bickering short by stating, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Seriously?” Eliza said at the same time Matt said, “What?”

Their forehead wrinkled in confusion, unlike his look of disappointment, and she searched for answers in his face. He was expressionless as always. A goldfish displayed more emotions than him. He was hard to read, impossible even.

“Yeah, I was actually going to contact you, but your insufferably reckless ass somehow made it here without me having to waste valuable time to call you. And your puppy is somehow always on your ass, so it was kind of predictable he'd break in too, which he seemed to be better at than you," he said.

“You make it sound like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s because you don’t."

His arms came forward, the thick brown folder in his hand almost bursting with documents. He threw it on the table. It slid toward her, landing right in front of her. Eliza stared at the missing title, then back at Nick.

“What’s that?” she asked.

He slid the same file only with a Braille imprint toward Matt, who caught it with his palm. “Same question here,” he said.

“Well, Matthew, I'm sure you'd like to know that your girlfriend was planning on sneaking into our prison quarters and speaking to Viktor Volkov who is locked away pretty good in a special cell, but she knew that already,” Fury’s working eye switched to her, “Didn’t you?”

Matt’s eyelids fluttered wildly. “You were planning to do what?” at the end, his voice hitched an octave, and he looked almost angry. She didn’t answer, only staring down guiltily at the closed file. “Are you out of your goddamn mind? Eliza, what has gotten into you?”

“I wasn’t planning to kill him if that’s what you’re insinuating,” Eliza said, and in her defense, she really wasn’t. He could hear it in her heartbeat.

He scoffed, turning away. “Why?” he asked.

She glanced over at his sharp jawline, the way it twitched ever so lightly, an inner conflict displayed in his face. He didn’t understand and she couldn’t blame him. She really didn’t understand it either. She was supposed to find her answers elsewhere, not turn back to Viktor, but in her mind, it had been the right choice to make. It still was, in some way. She still wanted to ask him because damn her father, he wasn’t alive anymore and she was at a loss for answers.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t,” said Nick, “because I have something for you that I need to talk about. I’m glad you’re both here ‘cause you’re going to need a lawyer for this one, Bennett.”

She frowned. “What did you do?” She didn’t trust him, especially not with strange files that were never opened before. There was still a seal on it.

Matt toyed with the paper. On his face, the same question was displayed.

“This is all the information we could pull from the White Room and what was left of Hydra. It includes government secrets and reports on the experiments conducted, new and old. The reports date back to twenty years ago, even before you came along. It’s filled with death certificates and profiles of each Hydra Agent that was responsible for Project Chaos, and the new variant they were trying to create. This file has all the evidence on what happened at the new facility,” he told them, “which makes this very valuable. The government would kiss my feet if they got this. But that’s not all. It has all the information on the men that hurt you, especially Viktor, Ivan, and that scientist Mueller. I compiled every last sliver of information in this file-”

Her jaw tightened. “What does it have to do with me?” she questioned.

“Because it’s also a record of everything you did in Hydra’s name.”

Shit.

“Now, I know this may seem like a lot, but I encourage you to take a look at it. There is a decision you have to make,” he said. “We either burn this thing or we get it to the FBI, including Viktor, and this thing goes to trial. You have to choose one of them.”

She had to choose? Eliza stared at the file, her eyes blank. She came in to talk to Viktor, not be overrun by Fury’s twisted idea of justice. She wasn’t prepared for it.

She flipped the file open. Her eyes skimmed over the secrets Hydra had collected over the years, many of those that could threaten governments all around the world. She recognized some of the secrets because she was the one who got them. The diplomat’s daughter that she killed, everyone dead around her, every last record of what she did, who she killed, it was all out there. Or, it was in the file, anyway. Every child that died at Mueller’s hand and Viktor’s command. The faces were partly familiar, partly strangers.

When it came to the records of what happened a month ago, she saw the outline for the new White Room, the records of the people kidnapped, the procedures that were done and killed so many more. The ones who got out were put into witness protection, it said in the file, and it made sense. She was listed as one of the kidnapped victims, and what they planned to do to her and her blood was briefly documented, but the record also stated that most of the documents were burned or shredded.

Ivan was pronounced dead and so was Anton, her father. Ivan’s murderer wasn’t mentioned; they blacked Natasha’s name out, thank God, because if the government found out, they would send an even bigger search party and prosecute Eliza for more than what was stated in the file.

Matt read the file at the same speed she did, but he picked up a little more than she did. The lawyer in him read the information she had told him long ago, but it still made him swallow. In a legal sense, this didn’t look good and if it got out - he didn’t want to think about it, and the fact Eliza seemed so deep in thought was unsettling.

“Angel,” he said, “You can’t let this happen. The pardon that was made-” he tried his best to glare at Nick, “It would mean nothing if this goes out. Why would you even suggest this?”

“Because the FBI and DODC can lock Viktor Volkov away for good and make sure he never sees the light of day again,” Nick said. "They can give him a proper trial and put him somewhere he won't come out again because the people in jail, most of them, at least, hate child molesters. He'd suffer far worse there than here. This is a five-star hotel in comparison and quite frankly, it's pissing me off."

“Well, this isn’t just about that asshole, although I would love nothing more than to see him suffer. Believe me, Fury, I get why you’d want him locked away somewhere that isn’t your basement, but this isn’t about you or Volkov,” he said. “This is about Eliza. She’s the only thing that matters here.”

“With all due respect, and I don’t often say that to just anyone, but it’s not just about her. This is about putting a criminal and enemy of the state behind bars that are not in a SHIELD facility but far, far away from here.”

“No,” Matt’s chuckle sounded dark, and his eyes matched his tone, “absolutely not. This is about her, you and I both know it. Don't put justice in front of her. She matters more than that."

Nick turned to Eliza, his head cocked to the side and his eye expectantly boring into her frame that seemed smaller than usual. “Bennett,” he said.

“Eliza,” said Matt.

She closed her eyes, rolling them behind closed lids.

“Sweetheart, please, you can’t consider this. From a legal perspective, this will screw up the freedom you just gained back. The statement of what happened at the facility, I— you broke the Accords more than once, sweetheart, and if the government got their hands on this, no one is going to show you mercy. And this is not your boyfriend speaking, this is your lawyer who is cautioning you against this. As your boyfriend, I can’t lose you, but as your lawyer, putting you in jail by releasing this would be completely counter-productive because your imprisonment would be entirely different from a normal inmate, and right now your lawyer’s words are what matters the most. Even Foggy would tell you the same thing.”

Her thoughts raced. His words met her ears, but they floated in her brain like weightless clouds, speaking a foreign language she never learned. She wasn’t sure what to say, think or do. All of the information that her eyes picked up was messy and she knew how risky it was to consider it. She agreed with Matt that it would get her locked away faster than she could say she was innocent, but the part of her that craved to see Viktor suffer found Nick’s offer alluring. She considered it and she hated that she did.

She looked up eventually. “I want to see him,” she stated.

“Absolutely not,” Matt jumped in once again. He didn’t mean to sound controlling, but it seemed Eliza was being controlled by a force she couldn’t see, a cruel little monster that told her exactly the opposite of what was the right thing to do. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. We should sit down and think about this,” he said.

“I want to see him,” she said. Her voice played one note. “Let me see him.”

Nick shared a look with the two guards. “If that’s what you really want—“

“Fury, with all due respect, you can’t do this.” Matt was determined to stop this before it could get worse. “You can’t let her talk to him.”

Her eyes were dead when she turned to him and said, “It’s my choice to make, not yours.”

He feared she might slip away from him again.

“I need to see him, and I’m going to do so with or without your support. Now, are you gonna stand in my way, Matthew, or are you going to put your role as my boyfriend aside to support me in my decision to paint my own picture before I sell myself out to the FBI?”

Viktor always put her in a terrifying mindset, but the more he listened to her erratic heartbeat, the more he realized she couldn’t be swayed, and she was just as scared as him, although her moral conflict prevented her from showing how badly it hurt.

His question, “Can we listen in?” was answered quickly by a nod from Nick.

“We’ve got surveillance everywhere,” he said, then nodded to the guards. “If that’s all, take her to him.”

Matt caught her arm. "Hey," he said, and his voice and eyes had softened visibly, "I didn't mean any of what I said earlier. I'm here for you, always, no matter what."

She smiled, "I know."

"I know you have to do this and it's your right, but... be careful, okay?"

"Okay," she said.

Eliza thought she would never see him again. She didn’t want to see him. She hated him. She loathed him with her entire being, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do to get results.

It reminded her of the time she went to visit Mueller, but this time, she didn’t have to sign a waiver or talk to his lawyers. She could talk to him and there was nothing he could do about it because he was trapped behind glass. She had never felt so powerful as she did when she finally stood in front of him.

She chuckled. “I was looking forward to this.”

Viktor sat on the bench of his cell. At the sound of the door opening, he had looked up. His eyes sparked curiosity, but he didn’t get up, not even when she stood right in front of the glass where the red border was drawn on the ground. Don’t cross, it said.

“Not particularly this,” she said, “but seeing you locked in a cage while I’m out here, free of the chains you bound me with when I was a kid. How does it feel to be the ant instead of the boot?”

He rose to his feet, finally, and approached the glass.

“Does it feel humiliating? Does it make you feel smaller than you are like you have no rights and are merely existing for the purpose of someone else?”

“Oh, I’m so glad to see you again,” he purred. His voice had gotten deeper and his hair had grown out. With the white suit on he was right where she had once been and the fact he was chained to the ground meant she really made it out and now it was his turn to suffer. “How have you been, malyshka?”

“Don’t deflect.”

“I heard what happened with Ivan. I knew you’d survive, of course. You always do.”

She eyed his face. The scars of what she did to him were still visible. “I survived because you were not my only reason for living,” she said. “I survived because I deserve it, you don’t. The truth is, I should have killed you when I got the chance, but I learned that I am better than the killer you made me out to be. I’m not defined by what you did to me, so I’m glad I didn’t kill you so you can see me thrive now and watch yourself lose over and over again when you look into my eyes and see yourself trapped in a cell, not me.”

He chuckled. “Attitude,” he said, “You’ve always had that. Feisty you were, especially as a child. But this undying hope that you have… I never taught you that.”

“Yeah, you told me hope was for the weak and that a good girl doesn’t hope, she only obeys. That kind of sucked, by the way.”

“What brings you here?” he deflected once again. “Did you miss me?”

“You disgust me,” she spat.

“Now, why are you being so vulgar? I didn’t do anything to you. I just showed you who you really are, but you didn’t want to see it, did you? You still don’t want to see. You’re blind, malyshka. You want to be blind because you know what you’re going to see is so much worse than who you pretend to be. If anything, you owe me.”

“I owe you?” She laughed. It was hilarious. He still spoke as if he had any control over her, but she knew better. Finally, she knew better.

A month ago, she would have struggled with not believing him, but now she knew that he was merely trying to turn her into the monster he wanted her to be. He didn’t own her and she didn’t owe him, especially not after what he did to her.

She could fight back and she would because she had to, not only for herself but for all the innocent children he hurt, for all the girlhoods he took and the innocence he stole from her. She had to fight for the death and destruction he caused and the families that suffered at his hand. And she had to fight for her future to be free of his memory. He didn’t deserve the kind of power he had over her, and she was finally done falling for him.

She stepped forward, barely breeching the tape. “I owe you shit,” she said. “I followed your command for so long, listened to all the lies you told me, and I let you shape me the way you wanted to. You manipulated me to the point I started to believe that I was as worthless as you said and that I only lived for Hydra. You made me feel so small,” Eliza shivered, the tears clogging her throat, but she pushed through them, “You made me feel like a toy and while I might have loved it back then, I realize now that you made me dependent on you simply because you thrived off of taking the power and innocence from little girls. You think I owe you because I was the only one who survived your torture? That I owe you for the mercy you showed me when I disobeyed you back then? You really think that?”

His eyes darkened. The monster was about to come out, and she realized that she had seen the same darkness in herself, but she wasn’t a monster. He made her believe she was born to be a monster, but that wasn’t true. The way she viewed herself was heavily influenced by what he taught her and it was time she broke that cycle. She had to take back the power she lost.

“Newsflash, Viktor, I no longer live for you. I don’t live for anyone but myself. So you can take your manipulation and shove it so far up your ass, it comes back out of your mouth, and then you will choke on it because you don’t deserve the air you breathe. You don’t deserve anything but what’s coming for you. You think washing your hands is going to make what you did go away? It won’t,” she told him, “and you know why? Because I am going to show everyone the blood on your hands and I am going to make you suffer for what you did. Now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts. Every last memory of you is burned into my brain and I keep thinking about what I did wrong. But it wasn’t my fault,” Eliza said, “and I get that now. I used to be weak, I used to be smaller than you and afraid to hit you back because I was scared of punishment. I used to pray for the day I got bigger than you, but I was too caught up in your game to grow up. But I am grown now and I understand that what you showed me wasn’t love. This ends with me. Now I live for the thrill of hitting you exactly where it hurts you the most, and that started with tearing down Hydra, and it’s going to continue by putting your files out there and getting every last government organization involved in getting you somewhere far, far away from here where no one can ever get hurt again. I’m taking back my girlhood, Viktor. I’m taking back the power you stole from me and you are so going to burn for all that you ever did in your miserable life.”

He bared his teeth, suddenly so close to the glass. “You think I’m scared of a little girl?” he asked.

“Look at me. Do I look like a little girl to you?”

“You say you’re big enough to hit me back, but you’re hiding behind a facade. Deep down, you’re still a scared little girl and nothing that you do is going to break me. If anything, if you publish those files, I am going to break you–“

“No, you don’t get to break me. You don’t get to do that. I won’t give you the satisfaction.”

“Oh, malyshka,” his words spat venom and she swallowed it up at the first glance, “This is not up to you. You think you’re in control, but I’ll always be in your head. I’ll always be in control of you. I made sure of that.”

Eliza clenched her jaw. “Is that why I’ve been seeing strange things, huh?” she said. “What kind of mind games did you play with me? Why does it feel like my head is being split in two every damn night? Was that you because if it was, I want to know just what you did so I can reverse this madness!”

“I didn’t do anything. And even if I did, there’s nothing I can do about it now. The real power is in your blood. The truth is up to you and God now. Maybe you should ask your father- oh, wait,” he smirked, “He’s dead.”

Her hand collided with the glass. His laughter rang out and it only got louder. She needed him to stop. The sound was all too familiar. It was terrifying and it hurt deep within her chest. It tore her skin off her bones and threw it into a smoldering pit of fire. He pulled at her heart and took her soul with his laugh, he toyed with her and broke her mind with every word he spoke.

He didn’t get to have control over her anymore, but the anger did and he knew how to play with her anger. Oh, how he knew how to play with her anger. He was a master manipulator, after all.

When her hand hit the glass, it shook, and the guards behind her broke their motionless stance to storm after her. She broke the barrier right through, standing right in front of where he was locked away, and the sound of her palm against the cage vibrated in the large room.

“Take his name out of your mouth!” she hissed. “Answer me! What is wrong with me? What do you know, huh? Tell me!” One of the guards grabbed her arm, but she shoved him away. “No, I need to know. I need to know what you know, Viktor. You don’t have anywhere to run, so you gotta tell me before I get in there and fucking rip your throat out, you useless fuck!”

He only laughed harder. He was making fun of her. Viktor got off on how desperate she was, the fury in her eyes and the fire in her bones. He thrived off of seeing her struggle like a fish out of water, and it only made her angrier.

The arms of the other guard wrapped around her and pulled her back behind the tape. She shrugged him off but remained where he had forced her to stand. “If you know anything, I’m gonna find it out. You don’t get to destroy who I am,” she said, “and I’m no longer scared of you. Do what you want, I’m done. I’m going to dedicate my life to ruining you, and you have to watch as I burn everything in your way to set you on fire, too.”

Eliza glanced at the security camera where she suspected Nick and Matt were watching her, and she exhaled a heavy breath, one that was as determined as she was. “Publish the file,” she said loud enough for the speakers to pick up.

She turned to the exit, ready to make a run and punch the first wall she could find, but then his voice rang out again and it made her blood run cold.

“The real enemy here is you,” he said. “There’s a reason you’ve been having those dreams, and if the world ended, it was probably your fault. Destroyer of Worlds.”

The words were in Russian, but she understood. “What did you just call me?”

Viktor only laughed again.

“What did you just call me?”

“You’re going to destroy yourself before you destroy me,” he stated, unrelated to her question, and he settled back down on the bench. “I’ll be here waiting for you to join me in jail.”

She looked at him again. She wasn’t going to join him anywhere. He could try as hard as he wanted, but she wouldn’t listen. She refused to cave.

“They can try to lock me away, but I would rather kill myself than be anyone’s captive ever again, and trust me, I will. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“But did you ever succeed?”

“Trust me, if I get prosecuted for what you did, I won’t hesitate to pull you down with me. That’s not a warning, Viktor, it’s a promise. You’re done here. You’ve lost. I’m taking the power and control you took from me and I’m going to channel it into destroying you,” said Eliza, the door opening before her and revealing the brightly lit hallway behind it, “Whatever it fucking takes.”

#matt murdock #daredevil #foreigner's god #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x ofc #matt murdock fic #matt murdock x female!oc #daredevil fic #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x oc #karen page #foggy nelson #marvel #mcu

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twoplus1 · 1 month ago

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I’ve been wanting to write about my past relationships and love life. I usually only write here for myself honestly. I know no one reads this, but I just do this for my own personal reflection and my own self therapy. When I was little, all I did was write in my diaries that are probably in the trash or lost and forgotten. I was great at detail. So for this part, I am going to write about how each relationship made me who I am and also how it affected me. My first relationship was with someone that honestly should of never been my bf. He was older. He said he was 19, but honestly he was prob older. He called me names for talking to people and even pushed me and hurt me. I left him for another person at the time, but he was my age. He was my real first love. His name was M. I felt like he would stay with me forever and love me like I did. He seemed like he did while we were dating, but then once I became his gf he left me like a month later. He had met someone else and I told him to choose and he chose that random girl, so I never gave him a chance again. He came back years later when I was 21 to apologize, I called him to try to hang out with him and it went to voicemail. I never tried again to talk to him. My next relationship, happened in a summer of 2003. Met him through friends, and he asked for my number. We were together most of the summer. He left me because I didn’t want to have a sexual relationship and because I didn’t know how to read street names. Kind of ridiculous to me. I cried some for that. After that, I didn’t have any actual relationships until like 2007 or 2006. That didn’t last because it was something that I fell into because he was really nice. In between that, I had two people that I really loved, but they were never officially in a relationship with me. I gave myself to two ppl that never even took me seriously, but the first person that I did, decided to tell me to leave and treated me like crap, even though I felt like he loved me the whole time, but I’m the only one that loved him. Me alone. Not him. He tried to talk to me a month later, but I told him to leave me alone. He was in my life for years, but never wanted to be my bf. Kind of stupid in my opinion. His reasons were.. I want to keep you as a friend, and he would come back when he was on a break with girls that would actually be his gfs. I never understood that. I wasted all that time on someone that never even wanted to be with me. I bought him presents. Took him to concerts and just wanted to be around him, just for him to never when make me his gf. I never had anger towards him after that, but I should of have. My last relationship before I was with S, was E. He was a summer fling, he left me because I was too serious and I wanted to be someone and he wanted to live paycheck to paycheck. I was too calm for him. All bullshit excuses. I cried for him some, got over him fast. I had other loves and crushes in between, but none of them became nothing because none of them ever took me seriously. At this point in my life, I feel happy to have gone through all of these experiences, but I didn’t deserve half ass lukewarm relationships or pretend relationships. I never gave myself to anyone willingly, other than for love, but all of them betrayed me. I had flings where these assholes would try things without asking me and forcing themselves on me. I hate these so they don’t deserve to be named or talked about. My current relationship or what is left of, is rocky and I sometimes feel like just being alone. I can’t deal with another man or relationship anymore. I wish one day I get my happy ending or love, cause where is he?? I am getting older, and I feel stuck..

#Spotify

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kadssp-main · 3 years ago

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hello! may i please request a dainsleif x fem! reader who feels ugly? (it can be headcannons or a little one shot) i feeling really bad lately... i can't look myself in a mirror bc i think im ugly... 😔 i hope this is okay and not bother you, also can i be the 🐷 anon? have a nice day 🥰💝

A/N: aww sweetheart i hope you feel better about yourself because you truly are a beautiful soul. beautiful on the inside and out<33 take care of yourself, pretty <33

warnings: slight angst + fluff, reader feels ugly but dainsleif comforts them :((

reader is gender neutral!

———————————————————————

Dainsleif didn’t think your behavior today was very promising as his eyes followed your form walking in circles as you fiddled with your fingers, something you usually did when you were worried or anxious about something.

”Darling, you’ve been pacing the room for a while now. You should sit down, tell me what has you so upset.” He said as he walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder, his blue eyes held concern as he stared deeply into your own and before you knew it you were a crying mess in his arms.

He stiffened at the sudden contact, slowly processing that you were clinging to him for dear life, your mouth open in quiet sobs as tears streamed down your face. His arms instinctively wrapping around your waist and holding you close as he ran a hand through your hair.

At a loss for words he carefully listened to your wails, his heart aching at the sound, at the mere fact you felt like this for whatever reason it might’ve been. He didn’t want to see you cry, to see you worried like this, to have you crying and breathing heavily as you can’t begin to form words yet. He wanted you to always feel happy, to feel safe and protected, to always feel comfortable coming to him for things such as this. But what he was experiencing now was a new kind of pain, sadness and dread bubbling in the pit of his stomach as your tears soaked his dark clothing and your broken sobs rang in his ears.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Dain.” You sobbed, gripping his shoulders tighter as you tried to calm yourself, you honestly didn’t know what came over you, maybe it was your negative thoughts and feelings get the best of you, needing comfort and reassurance because your mind would bring you down.

”Shh it’s okay, my dear.“ He spoke quietly as he gently rubbed shapes across your lower back, pondering over your words for a moment. “You’re sorry for what?”

”I’m sorry I’m not as pretty as you deserve.” You whimpered against his neck, his breath caught in his throat as he was shocked by your reply. Surely that wasn’t truly why you were reacting this way, right?

”Is that why you‘re feeling like this, dear?” He asked, pulling back before bringing your face close to his as he examined your expressions, and with a hesitant nod from you his heart broke from where it stayed beating sadly now in his chest.

”Baby… why?.. You’re beautiful I don’t… I don’t understand.” His face fell as he felt his own tears glossing over his eyes and blurring his vision. He couldn’t come to terms with how you felt about yourself, you were beautiful in his eyes and in every way, so precious and fragile, the last thing he has that he holds dear that he swore to protect with his very life.

Your heart sunk at the look on his face, instantly feeling guilty and wishing you could take it back, regretting your choice of words as you watched him try to hold himself together.

”Is there a reason… You feel this way about yourself?” He questioned, looking deeply into your eyes with a hint if seriousness in his stare as he swallowed down his own sadness.

”I just don’t like my appearance, Dain.” You sighed as you wiped fresh tears from your red and puffy eyes. “I’m ugly whenever I look in the mirror and I hate it.”

”Don’t say you’re ugly, my love, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.” He gripped your hands in his tightly but not enough to hurt you. His brows furrowed as he looked down at the ground trying to find the right words for his feelings. “You’re my angel, you’re beautiful in every way. There’s not a single flaw in you, my dear.”

You bit your lip hard as you tried swallowing down the painful lump that formed in your throat, wanting to accept his words but not finding it in yourself yet with the swirling thoughts of how you weren’t pretty, you’d never be beautiful in any way, you’re forever ugly no matter what you do.

You felt a hand on your cheek warm and gentle as he cupped your face and brought it closer to his own, pulling you from your thoughts entirely as you stared up at him in anticipation. His eyes staring lovingly into yours as he spoke in a quiet whisper.

”You may not love yourself right now.” He said, softly bringing your lips to his in a sweet moment shortly lived before pulling away. “You may think you’re ugly, you may think you’re not worth anything.” He continued, another soft and gently peck to your lips as his blonde hair swayed lightly with his movements. Your heart fluttering at his affection and words as tears threaten to fall down your face again.

”But I can promise you this; I’ll be with you every step of the way until you see that you’re beautiful, I’ll help you see yourself the same way I see you.”

———————————————————————

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do not repost or use my work in any platform

#genshin dainsleif #dainsleif #dainsleif x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #dainsleif x you #dainsleif x y/n #dainsleif fluff #🐷 anon

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swanimagines · 4 years ago

Text

ACCIDENTAL KISS [PART II]

PART I

Due to popular demand, I ended up doing it ♥

Tagging those who wished for it: @montsepliego @niammain @mindofasupernova + an anon

Fandom: Shadow and Bone

A/N: I love writing for Kaz but seriously, try to find a gif where Kaz doesn't look like he's gonna kill you for mistaking him as Zolin... :D Also I really hope you like it, I worked on this for several hours since I'm not good at part 2's and they're always a struggle and this was not an exception, but the only thing that made me keep going was that I wanted to write this, for the first time ever I wanted to write a part 2 here.

Warnings: Kaz is a bit OOC, also this came out to be longer than intended XD

Word count: 1,784 :)))

The next morning at the Slat was something you had been dreading all night, barely getting enough sleep, waking up all the time to look at the time, sighing in relief each time when you realized you could sleep a while longer. That you didn’t have to go down, that you didn’t have to meet Kaz.

You would have given anything for having Inej’s skills and just jump out of the window and jump across roofs, have your breakfast at some cafe. But you weren’t like her, so if you didn’t want to starve and pee yourself, you’d have to exit your room at some point.

You could ask Jesper or Inej to distract Kaz so you’d be able to come down, but you knew it would be childish and Kaz most likely would know why he’s being distracted. Even though knowing him, he was embarrassed too. Having you kiss him in front of everyone was surely something he considered a “weakness”. Affection and love is a weakness, and yet there you had been, demonstrating it on him.

Zolin sat across from you on your armchair, fiddling with his fingers as you had buried yourself under your blanket, fully aware that there was someone sitting beside your bed.

Your brother had come up to your room as soon as he woke up the next morning after the incident. His head hurt due to a mild hangover, but he knew you needed someone to talk to on that moment, even if it was him, who didn’t approve your crush on Kaz. He probably should have knocked or at least tell you it was just him, but he didn’t want to rush you to wake up.

After a while of him just sitting there, you finally dared to come out and peer at him over the sheet. You looked like you expected the whole club standing there and sighed audibly when it was just Zolin, and your door was closed.

“Hey,” you groggily said, slowly sitting up. “What’s up?”

Zolin offered you a slight smile as an answer. “I shouldn’t have drank so much.”

“I told you.” you chuckled. “Uh…”

“Nobody talks about it. It was just a kiss on his cheek. I understand you feel mortified by it, but-”

You groaned. “No, Zolin. You don’t understand. Kaz doesn’t like being touched. Like at all. He’s… afraid of touching.” you mumbled and leaned against your bed frame. “And I made myself looking like an idiot.”

“He probably knows you thought he was me. He knows we’re close and affectionate towards each other.”

“If it was the whole case, I’d just had apologized and left the scene, maybe fake-laugh about it a little to make them forget about it, but…” you pressed your lips to a tight line, contemplating if you you should say more. He would never leave you alone if you confessed your biggest mistake. But as Zolin tilted his head to wordlessly ask you to elaborate, you gave in. “Don’t you dare laugh, but I accidentally confessed my crush for him.”

Zolin fell silent, looking at his feet. “Oh.”

You both were silent for a bit, but then you saw Zolin holding back a grin.

“I just told you not to laugh! It’s not funny!” you exclaimed and he shot his gaze on you, pressing his lips together but you could see how much he wanted to laugh at you.

“Nope, not at all.”

You groaned and rolled your eyes. “You can’t even decipher my agony with this.”

“Nope, I can’t. You just… reminded me of how Dena and I met.”

“Not. Comparable. Stop it.”

“Yeah, okay.” he smiled. “But these times I really understand why we’re siblings.”

You really wanted to punch him right now, and Zolin seemed to notice it too, so he grinned at you one last time before hurrying out from your room.

---

“Well, aren’t you going to talk to them?” Jesper asked as he watched Kaz staring down at your usual spot where you always sat, but it being empty. You were clearly avoiding him, you always were on breakfast on time. Kaz just glared at his friend.

“What’s there to talk about?” he shook his head as he finally started to cut his sunny side up sandwich to pieces.

“Well, considering that Y/N confessed they like you and you like-”

“Don’t push it.” Kaz interrupted, sending Jesper another glare. “In a place like this, as people like we are, such feelings are dangerous. Besides, I don’t like Y/N. They’re a good addition to Dregs, but I don’t have such feelings for them.”

Jesper smirked, but tried to hide it with looking away. “Yeah, sure. And you blushed-”

“I didn’t blush.”

Jesper threw his hands towards the roof. “Whatever you say. But Y/N probably thinks you’re mad at them. You know, they know about...” Jesper gestured to Kaz’s body.

Kaz closed his eyes, knowing Jesper was right. You were one of the few people who really respected his boundaries, who knew what touch did to him, why he wants to avoid touch in all situations. Why he wore his gloves, that he wouldn’t have to accidentally brush hands with anyone. And that kiss had momentarily taken him back to the sea, but he knew that wasn’t your purpose, and it wasn’t your fault. You would never touch him like that without permission, and he was fairly sure you would ensure it a dozen times even if he asked for it. You had always been respectful and maybe that’s why Kaz had developed feelings for you. He didn’t admit it to anyone, of course, not even himself, but he knew it. He wanted you to be his. His heart rate spiked up every time he saw someone else flirting with you, and it wasn’t normal for someone who he’d think of as a friend. Just a friend.

“I’ll talk to them later.”

---

Now there you were, sitting on your bed with a book, Kaz standing at the doorway after you had told the knocker that the door is open. You had expected it to be Zolin again, or Jesper or Inej. But not Kaz. You didn’t think he’d ever again talk to you. You felt like you had embarrassed not only yourself, but him too.

After your first shock, you quickly put your book aside and stood up, but Kaz gestured you to sit back down.

“We should talk.” he told you, and you nodded, gesturing towards your armchair.

He made his way to you, carefully sitting down and you looked down in embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” you mumbled, not bearing to look at Kaz. “I- I thought you were Zolin. I should have looked twice. I-”

“Did you mean it?” Kaz interrupted you.

You furrowed your brows and finally made yourself to have an eye contact. “What? The kiss? No, of course not, I thought that you’re Zolin-”

Kaz shook his head slightly. “No. You said that you have feelings for me.”

You were sure that all the blood in your body decided to have a party on your face, as you immediately felt yourself feeling hot. Your sweating alone would have given it away, but you didn’t want to lie to Kaz anyway.

“Yes.” you squeaked and swallowed. “But I acknowledge that you don’t have feelings for me and even if you did, it would be dangerous. I know that we don’t have a chance together in any case. And I accept it. I just… have to make my way past it.”

Kaz squinted his eyes at you a bit and you were sure that you saw his lips twitch upwards slightly in amusement. You just stared back at him, waiting what he’d have to say.

He leaned back on your chair, looking to his side. “I expected you to have breakfast with me and Jesper at the morning. I know why you didn’t come, but I still…” he interrupted himself from saying more, before he took in a deep sigh. “I care about you, Y/N. And I won’t lie, that kiss made me go back to...” he silenced himself, and you understood.

“I know. I’m sorry. And I know you care about us. You always act like you don’t, but I know you do. You just don’t show it.” you nodded, but Kaz shook his head again, and now his eyes were glued on the pile of books you kept at the side of your bed. He didn’t want to show too much of how he felt, so he didn’t have an eye contact. He always did this when he opened up his heart and deepest thoughts.

“It’s different with you. I care about you more than I care about Inej or Jesper. And I care about you in a different way.” he muttered and your eyes widened. He fixed his composure again, and turned to look straight into your eyes again. “But you’re right. It would be too dangerous.”

“Kaz…” you swallowed, you definitely were not expecting this. You had a temptation to touch his gloved hand, even brush it just slightly to show even the slightest bit of affection, but you told yourself not to do that.

Kaz noticed you staring at his hands gripped around his cane, and knew what you were thinking. Sighing, he reached forward, barely brushing the side of your face with the tips of his glove. He hadn’t shown any affection to anyone since childhood, at least not like this. But he wanted you to know that he’s serious, that he wasn’t saying those things just because you had just confessed you have feelings for him. You had known each other for years, and Kaz had known you were going to be someone special the moment he met you. You knew about his past and his fears, sometimes it felt like you knew him better than he knew himself, helping him when he got panic attacks, knowing just what to do and how to calm him down. You were one of the first people who had learned to recognize his attacks. He treasured you more than anyone else in the whole world, and one day he wanted to hold you, touch you without his gloves, let your skins brush together.

But he couldn’t, and you understood it. That’s why feeling him through his gloves and him feeling you was equal to him giving you a kiss. That’s when you knew he really cared about you the same way you cared about him.

And that’s when you both knew it - you’d be able to overcome anything, given enough time.

Tags: @musicallisto @take-me-to-ny @mindofasupernova @lxncelot @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @someoneovertherainboww @vintagebitc @fandomstuffff @montsepliego @amwitherspoon @number-0-iz @tranquilitymoon @just-a-new-start @kaqua @booksreplacedmysoul @readingslumpfanfic @bravelittlesunflower @shadowhuntyi @rika90 @imma-too-many-fandoms @the-abyss-gazed-back @thereagles @kiwijulia // reply to this post or send me an ask if you wanna be tagged to my Shadow and Bone content!

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helloalycia · 4 years ago

Text

just a kid [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: you're a field medic at the Avengers Tower and get into an accident where you hurt your head. It was only supposed to be a mild concussion, yet things don't seem to be going right when you try to remember the accident.

warning/s: mentions of violent/dark scenes.

author's note: here’s the first of a little two-parter I worked on not long ago, hope you all like it!

part two | masterlist | wattpad

I woke up with heavy eyes and an aching head, momentarily dazed.

"Hey there, Doctor Y/L/N... can you hear me okay?"

Breathing deeply, I found the energy to clear my throat and scan the view above me. I was laying down on a bed, in a hospital room, I think. The lights were ever so bright and I now knew how annoying it felt to wake up like this as my patients had.

"What happened?" I asked, eyes roaming around until they settled on my doctor. "Doctor Maya? What am I–? Why am I here?"

I recognised Doctor Maya as a colleague of mine, though unlike me, she was a doctor who worked at the Avengers Tower whereas I worked as a field medic so was more on the move. The only reason I'd be here is if I was in an accident. Was I? I wasn't sure.

"Something happened when you were on your last mission," she explained gently. "I– hold on. I'm going to get Miss Maximoff, okay?"

"Wanda?" I asked, furrowing my brows and pinching them to relieve the stress in my head. "Where is she? Is she here?"

"She just nipped out," Doctor Maya said, before backing up. "One second, Y/N."

She left the room momentarily, leaving me to try and remember what had happened. I was on the quinjet and was getting briefed with my team. There were casualties that we had to get to and an agent– an agent I was helping, yes!

I groaned, clutching my head when I tried to remember. Deciding I shouldn't push myself so soon, I waited until the doctor returned with Wanda. Maybe they could tell me how I ended up here. I wasn't exactly injured, at least not physically and that I knew of. My head hurt and that was about it.

The door to my room opened suddenly and I looked that way, seeing Wanda rushing in wearing her civilian clothing. The doctor followed soon after, gently closing the door behind her.

"You're awake," Wanda said with relief, stopping by my bedside. Her hand rested on mine, squeezing it comfortingly. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled upon seeing her, even if she was staring at me like I was a fragile piece of glass. We'd been dating for a while now and she always had the power to make me feel better with her presence.

"I'm alright," I promised. "Just a bit confused to what happened. The last thing I remember is going into the field. Then I woke up here."

She chewed on her lower lip, exchanging unreadable glances with the doctor.

"There was a mine that detonated near you when you were helping an injured agent," Wanda explained softly, and I opened my mouth to speak, but she quickly added, "The agent is okay before you ask. But you hit your head from the impact. Mild concussion."

"That's why your head hurts and you're having trouble remembering," the doctor said, earning my attention. "You should be feeling better soon. And I've got some medication for the pain."

Now that Wanda mentioned it, I did vaguely recall being thrown back by a blast. But remembering it was like watching a film with poor satellite, the screen fuzzing around the edges and remaining unclear even though you focused hard. I was sure it would return to me soon.

"Thanks," I said, before attempting to sit up straight. Wanda helped me as I looked to her with gratitude before paying my attention back to Doctor Maya. "Am I alright to leave?"

"Of course, yeah," she said, nodding quickly. "Feel free to come back if you have any trouble. You should be okay though."

I nodded and smiled gratefully before watching her leave. Sighing, I pushed my hair from my face and looked to Wanda who was hanging by me patiently, eyes twinkling with concern.

"I'm fine," I promised her with a knowing look.

She gave me a small smile – her way of saying I'm still worried, but I'll dial it down – then moved to the chair beside the bed and grabbed some clothes.

"You can change into this," she said about the clothes in her hand, and I was sure they were some of hers; mine must have been ruined from the mine. "And if you want, you can stay with me whilst you recover."

I raised my eyebrows as I accepted the clothes. "You sure? It's nothing serious. I can take care of myself."

She shrugged, eyes avoiding mine with embarrassment as her hands played with mine. "I wanna help. I like looking after you... plus, you've stayed at mine before. This isn't any different. And you can be closer to Doctor Maya in case anything is wrong."

I weighed the decision briefly before giving in, unable to resist how cute she was when she was worried. "Okay, yeah, sure, why not?" She smiled widely, and I added, "Any excuse to cuddle with you, right?"

She chuckled. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Just let me get ready and we can head to your room. I'm actually a little tired."

She nodded and helped me up so I could get ready. I didn't think much of the whole thing, until later that night when I fell asleep beside Wanda.

My dreams never usually meant much. I wasn't one for reading into them, nor was I one to get seriously affected by 'nightmares', knowing they were usually a concoction of bad horror films and stupid ghost stories from my childhood.

But tonight was different.

It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a nightmare, but rather a memory that couldn't exist.

There was debris everywhere, a mixture of yellow rays blinding my sight with dark shadows looming over me. Destroyed buildings and scattered bodies – none were alive – surrounded me. The heat was too much, but I had a job. I knew I had a job, but I couldn't focus because of how fast my heart was racing, beating an incessant drum in my ears, and how rigid my body felt.

"Help!" a voice was shouting. A young girl, I think – she sounded like a kid. Who was it?

Before I could make sense of anything, I heard a loud noise, like an explosion, that sounded so close yet also extremely distant. Nonetheless, my eardrums weren't spared. The mine, maybe? Was this a memory? Was this how I got hurt?

I was thrown back, head hitting a wall, but I didn't pass out. There was a figure looming over me, short, like a child's shadow, but with no visible face or features. Nothing, actually, just a dark outline staring at me though I couldn't stare back because there was nothing to stare at.

The shouts for help returned, but it was distant like the explosion. I couldn't make sense of anything, and when I closed my eyes to blink, I opened them to find debris washing over me all over again, flying in the air along with my body. It had to be the explosion, my memory returning.

This time, when I hit the wall, I woke with a start. My eyes snapped open, taking in the dark room and nightly blue hue casting over the ceiling and walls. I swallowed hard, finding my breath, and raised my hand to gently massage my forehead. An aching pain was shooting all over, forcing me to sit up as slowly as I could as to not wake up Wanda, who appeared to be fast asleep beside me.

I checked the clock beside her bed and saw it was closing on half three in the morning. I went to bed around nine, which was also when I last had my medication. Doctor Maya said I could have it every five to seven hours and when I got a severe headache.

"I guess this counts...," I mumbled to myself, before grabbing the medication and bottle of water beside the clock.

I downed the two tablets within seconds before sitting upright for a few more minutes, needing a moment to myself before attempting to get back to sleep.

"Y/N...? Are you up?"

I winced at the sound of Wanda's groggy voice, immediately feeling bad for waking her. I turned around and saw her rubbing her eyes with one hand whilst blinking away her fatigue.

"Just have a headache, don't worry," I reassured quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "You can go back to sleep."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" she asked, finally able to keep her eyes open long enough to meet my gaze with her cloudy green ones.

I smiled through my exhaustion. "I'm okay, love. I've had some medicine."

"Well, I can get you something to–" she began, trying to make a move to sit up, but I pushed her back down gently.

"I'm okay," I repeated sternly, before slipping back into bed beside her. Wrapping an arm around her torso, I said, "Get back to sleep."

She nodded tiredly, getting comfortable and pulling me closer to her. I felt her arm wrap around me as I snuggled closer, relaxing in her embrace.

"Wake me if something is wrong," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too," I returned, kissing the closest thing to me which was her chest. "Goodnight."

Admittedly, it was still difficult for me to fall back asleep. It must have been no longer than ten minutes when I heard Wanda's breathing and felt the gentle rise and fall of her chest beneath me – she'd fallen back asleep. I sighed, slightly jealous, but stayed close to her and tried not to think about my accident or my weird dream/nightmare. Eventually, slumber found me.

The next morning, I didn't exactly feel well-rested, but I didn't want to concern Wanda nor draw attention to it as I knew it was probably just a rough first night. Instead, I let myself get distracted with Wanda wanting to cook me breakfast.

I soon found myself in the kitchen, sitting at the island and watching Wanda cook some pancakes for us both with an endearing smile on my lips. She was still in her pyjamas like me, her red hair pulled into a messy ponytail as an afterthought, and she radiated beauty. Right there, I could only wish my future looked exactly like this.

My moment of admiration was interrupted when someone came into the kitchen, earning our attention. It was Sam, one of the Avengers and a colleague of Wanda's.

"Good morning, ladies," he greeted with a smile. Already dressed for the day ahead, he asked, "Do I smell pancakes?"

"They're for Y/N, so back off," Wanda said playfully, pointing her spatula at him threateningly.

He raised his hands with defeat as I chuckled.

"Relax, I've got a shake," he said, grabbing said protein shake from the fridge. "Enjoy your pancakes." He glanced to me, expression softening as he added, "And I hope you feel better, Y/N. I heard about your accident."

"Thank you, Sam," I said gratefully, noticing the way Wanda flinched at his words. "I'm already feeling better, so..."

"That's great," he said genuinely, before looking between us. "I'll catch you guys later."

We both waved our goodbyes to him as he left. I wanted to question what was up with Wanda just then, but as Sam left the kitchen, the door slammed shut and startled me more than I thought it would. The noise sounded so familiar, so loud, kind of like what I heard last night in my dream. It must have been the mine when it exploded, a ghost of a memory that was returning. But that didn't seem right. Why didn't that seem right?

"Hey, Y/N, you okay?" Wanda asked, and I looked up, only to notice she was now standing by my side and looking down at me with concern.

I licked my lips, nodding. "Yeah, sorry, I just... yeah. I'm fine."

Her eyes were swimming with doubt, but she chose to say nothing. Instead, to my relief, she pulled me close, giving me a quick hug which I appreciated. As my head rested against her chest, I tried to ignore the familiar striking pain travelling around my forehead.

—

It was two nights later when another strange dream plagued my sleep. Similar to last time, there was a strange combination of scenes that I was sure I remembered and scenes that made no sense. This time though, all that I could feel was a tenseness in my whole body, like I was in a frozen state and my mind and body couldn't communicate. I couldn't move, paralysed by... fear? Shock? Disbelief? I didn't know what it was, but I woke up in the same way.

I'd heard of sleep paralysis, even experienced it a few times without realising. I think this was one of those times, with my body frozen in bed beside Wanda, but I didn't know it at the time. It just felt like a horribly-real dream. The room was dark, the familiar, yet unsettling, nightly blue hue casting shadows on the wall. But on the ceiling, bright and terrifying scenes played out before me. An explosion. Debris. Screaming.

None of it made sense and all I could feel was shock, horrified at how I couldn't move a muscle even if I tried. I tilted my head, seeing the alarm clock glowing red in the dark, letting me know it was past midnight. To the left, I saw a sleeping Wanda, lost in her dreams and unable to help me. I wanted to get up, run my hands over my face, have some water, open a window, do something. But I couldn't move. All I could do was watch the nightmare dance across the ceiling as my heart struggled to beat regularly and my lungs struggled to get enough oxygen.

I didn't know how long I was stuck like that, tears brimming my eyes and body paralysed with fear. But it finally ended and I opened my eyes, only to find the ceiling blank and myself able to move. Reluctantly, I lifted my hand, wiping the tears from my cheeks. It was just a dream (or form of sleep paralysis in hindsight). It wasn't real. But God, it felt horribly terrifying.

Admittedly, I was scared to go back to sleep for fear it would occur again. So, my eyes stayed wide awake, burning with exhaustion, and I continued to stare at the shadows on the wall, feeling my heart pounding in my ears.

I must have fallen asleep again at some point, as I woke up the next morning to Wanda getting out of bed. Sitting up in bed, I looked around and found the fear of last night wearing off now that the room was bathed in the morning light. Still, I was more shaken than I thought.

Not wanting to draw attention to it though, I let the day go on as usual, deciding to appreciate the free time I had from work to spend with Wanda. We decided to go to the park for a walk – Wanda thought it would help get me out of the Tower and I was hoping the fresh air would give me some clarity and help me to recover.

Only, it did the opposite.

We were walking hand in hand, myself listening to Wanda as she chatted about something that happened in training. If I'm being honest, I wasn't really listening; my thoughts were preoccupied with the jumbled mess that was my mind. Glimpses of memories were dancing across my head, teasing me with elements of the truth I couldn't quite make out.

My eyes drifted around mindlessly, settling on a little girl playing by the swings with her parents. I didn't think much of it, but then the familiar shouts for help from my nightmare plagued my mind, making me flinch. The dark, looming shadow returned and I suddenly felt a headache coming on, the pressure against my brain making me nauseous.

I stopped abruptly, letting go of Wanda's hand. She stopped speaking, turning around and furrowing her brows with concern.

"Hey, Y/N, what's wrong?" she asked, and I winced, clutching my head to relieve the pain.

The wave of nausea left after a moment, but the headache remained. I heard Wanda repeat my name quietly, sensing my discomfort.

"I think I need to see Doctor Maya again," I finally found my words.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, resting a hand on my cheek and tilting my head up to meet her eyes. "You can tell me."

Her eyes were reassuring, calming me in an instant. I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't want to burden her with my anxieties, so I offered her a small smile.

"I just don't think my recovery is as straightforward as I thought," I settled. "She may be able to help."

Wanda chewed her lower lip, nodding slowly. Thankfully, she didn't question me anymore. Instead, she took me back to the Tower to see Doctor Maya. I was grateful as she waited with me for her to be free, until I had to convince her I'd be okay going in myself.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," she said, exchanging looks with Doctor Maya, who looked away quickly.

I glanced between them, mildly confused, but nodded to Wanda. "I'd rather go alone, Wanda. I'll be okay."

She nodded, squeezed my hands comfortingly, then let me go. When I headed into Doctor Maya's office, she took a seat behind her desk and motioned for me to sit before her.

"You said this was urgent," she spoke first, after I took a seat opposite. "Is everything okay?"

I licked my lips, looking down at my hand as it scratched the arm of the chair nervously. "No... not really."

After a moment of hesitation and partial embarrassment, since I knew this was only supposed to be a mild concussion that felt like so much more, I explained everything that happened to Doctor Maya. The odd dreams/nightmares, the headaches, the overlapping memories and sleep paralysis. As hard as it was to relive, I told her everything in hopes she had an answer that maybe I hadn't realised.

When I finished speaking, she looked distracted with her own thoughts. I waited patiently, watching as she nodded to herself before looking to me calmly.

"It doesn't seem like anything to worry about, truthfully," she said, which I didn't expect. "You suffered a mild concussion, yes, but it must have rattled you more than we thought. The dreams and trouble sleeping are a result of your headaches and returning memories. You do remember what happened, right?"

I nodded, though something felt incorrect. "I think so, yes. I was helping an agent when a mine went off. I was thrown back, covered in debris. Hit my head."

She hummed. "Yes... and you're taking your medication?"

Another nod. "Of course. I just want to get better. The sooner I do, the sooner I can return to work."

"Then it seems that your only opponent is stress and impatience," she said simply. "You need to relax. Keep taking your meds. Try not to worry about returning to work just yet. Focus on getting better. I can prescribe you some sleeping pills if you think that will help."

Sighing disappointedly, I nodded. I was expecting more to be honest, possibly an explanation. Her words made sense logically, but it still didn't feel right. Nonetheless, I didn't want to hold her up any longer, so I let her prescribe me some more medication before leaving. Maybe I'd give relaxing a shot.

—

"It's a meatball."

I stifled a laugh as I studied the oddly shaped ball of meat in Wanda's hand. "Is it?"

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "It is otherwise you're making your own meal."

I laughed, pressing a haste kiss to her cheek. "Okay, okay, it's a meatball. Add it to the tray."

We were cooking spaghetti and meatballs for dinner about six days after my incident out in the field. I was still staying with Wanda at the Tower, and I was taking Doctor Maya's advice with my recovery. I didn't worry myself with returning to work which, admittedly, helped out, and the sleeping pills knocked me out long enough to get a good sleep. Though, sometimes the nightmares would still return. I didn't think about them too much though, not wanting them to hinder my recovery. Instead, I focused on getting better with my very supportive girlfriend by my side.

Wanda added the meatball to the baking tray, alongside the others, but as she reached to form another one from the bowl full of minced meat, she accidentally knocked it to the floor. The meat splattered across the tiles, making her gasp.

"Shit," she cursed, eyes widening slightly.

"Very clever," I teased with a smile.

"Let me just–"

"I got it," I cut her off, already bending to clear it up. "Just put the tray in the oven, yeah? Try not to drop it."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

I looked up in time to see her rolling her eyes playfully, but she grabbed the tray as I said.

I kneeled down, scooping the meat up and throwing it in the bowl, knowing it would have to go in the bin now. As I did, I realised how familiar the meat looked. Pink and flesh-like, covering my hands and sticking to me. Suddenly, my hands were shaking, the fleshy bits surrounded by blood, and I tried to blink away the sight, expecting to just see minced meat, but I couldn't. They were covered in what I somehow knew was the flesh of body parts.

Startled, I fell back onto my butt, my back hitting the drawer behind me and pulling me from my daydream. Wanda looked down at me with confusion, before sensing something was wrong and leaning down beside me. She rested a hand on my head, thumb stroking my forehead.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused eyes staring between me and my hands which were still shaking. She grabbed the tea towel from the counter above us before wiping my hands for me and holding them. "Y/N. This has happened a few times. Please tell me what happened."

I was still shaken, unsure why there was a discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I risked glancing at my hands, which were clean and no longer covered in human fle– I mean, meat.

"I don't know what's going on," I finally admitted to her, shaking my head. "It's like my thoughts aren't my own. I can't control them. I just keep seeing stuff that isn't real."

She frowned, eyes peering through mine patiently.

"I still can't remember what happened with the mine," I said, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "It's like, I know what happened and I know it's real, but when I try to remember, it just doesn't happen quite right. The picture doesn't appear. And I don't know why."

She pressed her lips together, jaw clenching slightly. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked lowly.

I sighed, the discomfort still lining my stomach. "She thinks I just need time."

Wanda nodded, finally lifting her gaze. "Maybe she's right."

I knitted my brows together with frustration, nudging her away and standing up. "I don't need time! I'm a doctor, too. I know it shouldn't take this long. It was a mild concussion. I've treated hundreds of those."

"Y/N–"

"Just forget it," I said with exasperation, pulling away from her as she tried to reach out again. I knew it was uncalled for, taking it out on her for no reason, but I was too frustrated with the situation to care. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

She sighed from behind me, running a hand through her hair. I left her in the kitchen, suddenly not in the mood to eat. Clearly all of Doctor Maya's advice wasn't working – what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I needed to see her again.

So, after cleaning my hands properly and having a walk around the Tower to clear my head (as expected, it didn't work), I headed to Doctor Maya's office, hoping she was still in work today. To my surprise, when I reached her office, I saw her door was slightly ajar and she was already speaking to someone. My intention wasn't to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name said in a hushed whisper from a familiar voice, I knew I had to stay.

"...can't say anything," Wanda finished. "She'll get better."

Doctor Maya sounded frustrated. "It's not right, Miss Maximoff. This is against everything I stand for. Against everything Y/N stands for, too, I'm sure."

"This is for her benefit," Wanda snapped, before taking a deep breath. "Look, she can't handle the truth. It'll break her... I haven't worked out the kinks, but it'll be okay. She'll get better."

What the hell were they talking about? What truth could I not handle? Wanda and the doctor were in on something together, something they didn't want me to know... and it was something to do with why I was feeling like how I was. I knew I wasn't going insane – something was wrong!

I left them to it with plans of seeing the doctor afterwards, not wanting to get caught, and tried to wrap my head around the fact that Wanda had been keeping something from me this whole time. How could she? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I thought that we could trust each other.

What was she hiding?

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen #scarlet witch #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #mcu #marvel

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago

Text

Part Seven. Cooties, Discall, and Flirting

warnings: swearing, also I used the word “flirt” so many times it no longer holds meaning so beware word count: 4k

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: putting it up here this time!!!! i liked this chap so i hope you do too!!!!! if you didn’t see the missing dms from part 3 (which are now actually in part 3), bugsy agreed to a minecraft date with dream in exchange for karl touring her on his smp!! anyway, enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**********

The frosty air bit at Y/n's skin as she hurriedly shut the car door behind her, starting up her car in an attempt to find warmth as quickly as possible. "Why do I live here?" she asked through chattered teeth, causing Naomi to laugh.

"It's not that cold!"

"I don't know how you're okay with this."

"Do you want me to drive? You're so stiff you'll crash,” Naomi offered as she looked at Y/n.

"I'm fine, I just need to warm up for a second," Y/n assured as she rubbed her hands together in front of the heater.

Naomi giggled and took her hands, rubbing them to help heat them up.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Now hurry up, I have a work meeting in like 30 minutes."

"What?" she gasped, quickly putting her gloves back on. "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have spent so much time looking at Christmas decorations!"

"I'm just kidding. But Karl will be mad if he has to wait for his food any longer."

"You're seriously the worst." She smacked Naomi's arm and started driving, much less panicked than a few moments prior.

"You love me."

"Whatever. How's your internship going by the way?"

Naomi sighed. "Good. It's really hard to be motivated to go since it's unpaid but it's the last thing I need to graduate so I have to do it."

"But you enjoy it, right? I mean it's what you want to do."

"Yeah, no, I love it. I just wish I was getting paid so I didn't have to work at the grocery store too. I wish I could get paid to play video games like you."

Y/n deflated slightly. She hated when people put it like that, it made her sound like it wasn't a real job but it was challenging in its own way. "I'll teach you how to pvp and you'll be on your way to the top."

"Maybe then I could actually meet George myself instead of waiting around for you to do it."

"Wait!" Y/n gasped. "Did I not... did I not tell you about the other night?"

"Uh... I guess not? What happened?"

Y/n squealed. "Dude! Make a Discord account right now. Get your phone out and make one."

"Why? What is that?"

"It's the thing we all use to voice call during streams and in private and stuff. Come on!" Y/n used her right hand to urge Naomi to grab her phone. "George said you can't have his number but you can have his Discord."

"Wait, really??" Naomi gasped. "Wait, what does that mean!? I can talk to him on it!?"

Y/n laughed. "Yes, yes! You can text or voice call or even video call but I don't suggest that right away. Don't scare him away."

"He really said he'd add me back? Wait, when did you talk to him about me?"

"On Dream's stream. After the movie, I went and talked to them for a few hours."

"Is that why I heard you giggling at four in the morning?"

Y/n felt her cheeks heat up. "Okay, well, that was just with Dream. George and Sapnap left the call around one and two."

"Date."

"Sounds to me like someone doesn't want GeorgeNotFound's Discord..."

Y/n saw Naomi cower shyly. "Sorry. Please give it to me."

"I don't know it off the top of my head, silly. So be nice for the rest of the car ride and I'll get it when we get home."

"Is Karl meeting us at our apartment or his?"

"Ours. Can you tell him we're almost there?"

"I don't know if I have the strength to... talk to someone who's such good friends with... my love..." Naomi started with a dramatic sigh, "it just reminds me of the pain I go through daily... without him..."

"If that were true, you couldn't talk to me. I'm also good friends with Mr. Not Found."

Naomi threw her head to glare at Y/n, who just laughed. "Come on, text Karl. Please. His food will get cold."

Y/n watched as Naomi typed away on her phone. Soon, the two pulled up to their apartment complex and headed upstairs. Y/n turned the corner and walked down the hall to see Karl standing at their front door.

"KARL JACOBS! WE HAVE FOOD!"

He looked up quickly from his phone and beamed at them. "My heroes!"

"What are you doing outside, silly?" Y/n asked. "Don't you have a key?"

"Naomi made me give it back after I pulled that prank on you guys last month," he explained as Y/n unlocked the door.

"Well deserved. I still find glitter everywhere."

Y/n set the food on the counter and the other two crowded around. "Thank you, mother, for lunch," Karl joked and kissed her cheek loudly, his love language of physical touch jumping out of him. Y/n grimaced playfully as she wiped her cheek on her shoulder.

"GROSS!!! COOTIES!"

Karl pouted. "I thought we were best fwends, Y/n . Best fwends don't have cooties."

"You do. You're a boy."

Y/n's phone lit up as Karl started going on a joking rant about how Y/n always is so mean to his affections and he can't help wanting to show his friends he loves them and how she's so mean and, "Y/n you're not even listening to my complaints how are we supposed to be best friends when you're too busy talking to your boyfriend all the time and—"

"Boyfriend?" Y/n looked up quickly, worried he had seen the text from Peter that she just read. He was still trying to convince her to talk to him even after she bluntly told him no and why.

Karl walked over to the couch with his food and sat next to Naomi. "I was just joking... why, is there someone?" he giggled. "Dreeeaam maybe?"

Y/n shook her head, and her lack of defensiveness made Naomi and Karl look at each other. Normally she turned bright red and stumbled over her words when they joked about anyone being her boyfriend, but she was stone cold silent as her phone continued to illuminate her face.

"Y/n... What's up?" Naomi asked. "Is it Peter again?"

"Peter?" Karl's eyebrows raised and his food almost fell out of his mouth. "He's been texting you?"

Y/n sighed, locking her phone and sliding it in her pocket before finally joining her friends on the couch. "It's nothing."

"No, it's not."

"He wants to talk," Y/n mumbled.

"What?" Karl asked genuinely.

"I said he wants to talk."

Karl just stared for a few moments before looking at Naomi, who nodded, then back at Y/n. "You're not going to, right? Right? You've got to be kidding me, Y/n, he's a selfish dick and he's just going to keep hurting you. Why do you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt when he's proven time and time again that he's nothing but a fuc—"

"Karl!" Y/n interrupted. "I'm obviously not going to talk to him."

Karl's face flushed, probably embarrassed that he had assumed the worst and ranted. He sighed, exasperated. "Why don't you just block him already?"

Y/n shrugged. "He's harmless now that I don't let his words get to me."

"I'm just glad you finally decided not to meet up with him," Naomi said.

Y/n shrugged like it was an obvious choice, but deep down she couldn't help but think about the exact reason she had come to that decision. Besides all the pain he had caused her, how could she consider getting back together with her ex when she finds herself giddy about talking to someone else over Discord? Simple: she couldn't. The possibility of liking Dream briefly crossed her mind, and she knew that in the few weeks she had talked to him, the faceless man she had never met in real life made her feel better about herself than her ex-boyfriend ever did in the two years they dated. She wasn't sure quite what that meant, but she knew it was something.

"Can I have George's Dis...call or whatever it's called now? Please?"

Y/n laughed at the failed attempt at remembering the name of the application and pulled out her phone, directing Naomi on where to add friends and listing off his name and hashtag. Naomi then gave Y/n her name so she could tell George who to add back. "There, now leave me alone about George for the rest of your life."

Naomi giggled giddily before going to her room, eyes glued to her phone for the moment he would add her back.

"I'm sorry for being so bossy when it comes to Peter," Karl muttered.

Y/n shrugged and cuddled into the couch, hugging a pillow to her stomach. "I get that he was awful, but you have to trust me to know what to do."

"I do! I promise I trust you but..." Karl paused to groan, "but he just makes my blood boil. I've never hated anyone in my life but I would love to slice his head off if I ever got the chance."

"Thank you for being protective, but I promise I can handle myself."

Karl looked at her sadly. "Why did you stay with him for so long? Even after he cheated on you and said all those horrible things?"

She shrugged shamefully. "I had no one else."

"You had me and Naomi! Y/n, you've never been alone."

"That's not what I mean, Karl. I love you guys so much but it's not the same as dating someone, you know?"

"I guess..." he sighed. "But wouldn't you rather be alone than with someone who's so possessive you're afraid to tell him about your real job?"

Y/n dropped her shoulders. He had a point. She really shouldn't have stayed with Peter as long as she did. He was scary. "Yeah."

A scream from the other room snapped them out of their serious conversation. "HE ADDED ME BACK!"

Y/n laughed and Karl shook his head. "Poor George. He's about to regret so much," she predicted.

"Noooo... I'm sure he and Naomi will get along great," Karl argued. "They'll be friends at least."

"Maybe. Hey, any updates about cameragirl?"

Karl blushed immediately and Y/n smiled.

"Is that a yes??"

"I... may have... finally spoken to her. Y/n, she's so cute. Like, she's so nice and I want to protect her from everything."

"What did you guys talk about?!" Y/n gasped, sitting up quickly.

"You're going to be so disappointed in me..."

"Did you talk about Sonic the Hedgehog again? Karl, I swear—"

"No! But I only said like two words."

"What two words?"

"Um, I said hi, and then she asked how I was and I said good."

"KARL!"

"I know!" he said as he buried his face in his hoodie sleeves. "I'm the worst! I don't know how to talk to her! She's so cute!!!"

Y/n laughed endearingly and pulled his hands away. "My offer still stands, I'll teach you how to flirt if you want."

"No, I still don't believe that you can actually flirt."

"I totally can, but fine. Ask Naomi to help you if you don't trust me. She'd teach you if you want." Y/n looked down at her phone as it lit up with notifications from Twitter.

As if he knew by the smile on her face who it was, Karl challenged, "Flirt with Dream to prove you can."

"I have nothing to prove to you," Y/n mumbled, standing up. "But he wants to call me so I'm going to my room. You're welcome to stay here or go home since Naomi's still in her room too."

"Mkay," Karl said. "I'll just stay here for now. Thanks again for the food."

"No problem, dude." Y/n disappeared to her room and opened Discord on her computer, waiting for Dream to call her. She answered when he finally did.

"Hi, Dream," she smiled into her headset.

"Hi, Bug. What are you up to?"

"Nothing. I was just explaining to Karl how good I am at flirting because he doesn't believe that I'm good."

"I don't either."

"What?" she laughed. "Why does no one think I can? Have you seen all the thirsty people flirting with me on Twitter? You included."

"Yeah, but you hardly flirt back. You just insult us."

"I can flirt when I want to."

"Prove it."

"...I don't want to."

"Why? Because you can only flirt with your boyfriend?"

"Are you trying to get me to admit I have a secret lover?"

"Yes."

"Well too bad, I don't."

"Interesting... so you," he paused, careful with his words, "so you decided... not to listen to whats-his-face?"

"Mhm," she hummed, not trusting her voice to stay steady. Why was she nervous? She crossed her fingers hoping that he wouldn't ask how or why she came to that conclusion. She didn't have a lie ready to hide the fact that it might have something to do with Dream.

"Then there's no reason you can't flirt with me."

Y/n sighed dramatically but still smiled. "Why did you call me? Just to make fun of my flirting abilities?"

"No, I called because I'm bored."

"Wow, so I'm just a backup when GeorgeNotFound and Sapnap are busy?"

"Actually, I called you before I tried either of them."

"Interesting..." she mocked him and he scoffed.

"Stop changing the subject and flirt with me!!! Give me your best pickup line!! Why won't you?"

"How about because I reserve flirting for people who deserve it?"

"Oh, it's that good, huh? You have to be on a VIP list to be flirted with by you?"

"Yeah," she laughed, completely joking. "It's life-changing."

"How do I get on that list?"

"Why do you want me to flirt with you so bad, you weirdo?"

"Because you said it's life-changing! And because I just don't believe that you're good at flirting."

"Why? What about me screams that I'm an awkward mess?"

"Everything!" he laughed. "Every time I've witnessed anyone flirt with you you just get all embarrassed and change the subject. Or on Twitter when we flirt with you, you almost always just reject us outright. People like that aren't smooth."

"Fine. I'll flirt with you, Dream. Not now but when you least expect it and it'll leave you so speechless that you'll never question me again."

"Good. I'm excited."

She snorted lightly and shook her head. "You're ridiculous."

"Oh, hey, you know how I said Sapnap, George, and I wanted to do a big hangout thing with everyone?"

"Yes! Is it happening??"

"Yeah! We still don't know exactly when but George mentioned he thinks New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are stupid holidays so we want to get everyone together in person for that to prove it's a great holiday."

"I mean... I'm kinda with George on this one," Y/n agreed.

"What?! How? It's the start of a New Year! It's an excuse to kiss someone and you start the year with all your friends and loved ones and-"

"It's literally just another day. The only thing that changes is people accidentally put the wrong year when they write dates down for the first month."

Dream laughed. "That's stupid. No. It's a good holiday."

"Whatever. You'll just have to prove to me that it's good."

"I will."

"And the thing you said about having an excuse to kiss someone is stupid. If you wanna kiss someone, just kiss them."

"That easy, huh?"

"Yes."

Dream hummed thoughtfully, a mischievously playful tone to it that made Y/n change the subject slightly to spare her heart from beating too hard.

"So he's coming for New Years'?"

"Okay, yeah, so he doesn't know exactly what date but we're trying to get as many of our friends as we can to come so we have to plan around everyone. Also obviously you and Karl and Naomi are invited."

"Oh, Naomi too? Good, because I think they're talking to each other right now."

"They are," Dream laughed. "George texted me when she added him and he panicked because he doesn't know how to talk to girls."

"What?!" Y/n gasped in offense. "That's his and my thing! Why didn't he text me panicking??"

"He said he was going to text you but since it's your friend he felt awkward."

She grunted. "Fine. I guess that makes sense. Except, I know her better than anyone so I'd be waaay more helpful than you."

"You saying I don't know how to talk to girls?"

"I mean, you've used so many pickup lines on me on Twitter and I'm still not wowed, so yeah, I'd say you aren't as smooth as you'd like to think."

"Bug! What?! I'm totally good at talking to girls," Dream tried to defend, pulling excuses out of his ass. "I just haven't used my best tactics because you're easier to scare away than most. As I said, you can't dish it or take it so I have to use special moves."

"They still haven't worked." The quick beating of her heart and shaking of her hands informed her that that was a lie. Every time he replied to her tweets, the painful grin on her face proved it was a big, fat lie. Maybe she was a little impressed at his "special moves" but she wasn't going to ever admit that to him.

"Whatever, you liar. Anyway, we were thinking of renting a cabin on a lake or something like that for everyone to stay in."

"Oh! Yes, that sounds so fun! I love lake houses so much."

"Good. I'm gonna talk to George and the other brits and see if that's doable. It's gonna happen. I promise. I'm tired of not seeing my friends."

"Wait, how many people are you guys thinking? I'm still nervous about showing people my face..."

"It's a rough list but basically Sapnap, George, Quackity, Karl, Wilbur, Niki, um, Tubbo, Tommy, who else.... I think that's it right now. We'll make sure you know them and are comfortable with them so you don't feel pressured to show strangers who you are."

She nodded to herself. "Okay. I could also just not come if I'm not comfortable with someone—"

"What?!" he asked loudly, genuinely surprised. "Wha— no. We just wouldn't invite them."

"But—"

"I'd way rather have you there than anyone else. Hell, I'd kick George or Sapnap out if you didn't want to show them your face."

"Wait, really?"

"No pressure but I really want you to come and I want to make sure your comfortable."

"What if I don't want to show you my face?"

There was a long pause and Y/n knew he was trying to control his voice so she didn't know he was disappointed or slightly offended. "I mean... I don't know. I guess I... wouldn't go."

Her heart cracked at the sadness in his voice.

"I really don't want you to be pressured into—"

"Dream," she said. "It's okay. I'm probably most comfortable with meeting you over anyone else."

"Really?"

She didn't trust her voice not to sound too sappy and giddy. She didn't trust it a lot when she was around Dream. "Mhm."

"I'm glad," he said happily but softly. "It will be fun. Also, give me your phone number."

"So forward of you, Dream."

"Shut up, I wanna make a group chat."

Y/n laughed and told him her number. "I'm really excited now, Dream! I haven't hung out with people in so long and it sounds like a fun little vacation."

Dream laughed at her excitement. "I just want to hug the shit out of George."

It was Y/n's turn to laugh loudly. "Have you met him in real life yet?"

"No."

"I doubt he'll even let you touch him. He doesn't seem touchy."

"I don't think he is but I don't care. I am very touchy so he won't have a choice but to hug me."

"Ugh, another touchy person. Gross."

"Are you not?"

"Not really. Karl is the touchiest person I have ever met so he's kinda rubbed off on me a little over the years I think, but in general no."

"Oh, yeah, he's already threatened to kiss all of us as soon as we meet," Dream said with a laugh.

"Best to just let it happen. He pouted earlier because I wiped my cheek after he kissed it."

"That doesn't sound like something someone who can flirt would do."

"Because I'm not flirting with Karl!" Y/n groaned but a laugh was behind her words. "What is with you guys?"

"You just can't be on Karl and my level of flirting if we don't see it! Can't be in the gang if you don't show us your skill."

"Just you wait, Dream. You'll see."

"Wait, what about our Minecraft date?"

"What about it?"

"When we do that, you have to flirt with me!"

"No, I don't," she protested with a loud laugh.

"Um, I'm pretty sure it's very rude to not sweet-talk your date. You have to flirt with me then."

Y/n giggled. "Oh yeah? And what if I don't?" She hadn't meant for her voice to come out laced with something suggestive, but if Dream noticed, he thankfully didn't show it.

"Well, we'll just have to keep going on dates until you do."

"Pretty sure forcing someone on dates is illegal, buddy."

Dream laughed. "You agreed to it!!"

"I agreed to the first one," she corrected. "I agreed to one date in exchange for you letting Karl tour me around your server. One."

"Don't worry." Unlike Y/n's, Dream's voice was purposefully laced with something suggestive as he told her, "after our date, it won't take much for you to agree to more."

"Oh whatever," she scoffed, trying to cool her face down with her icy hands. Even they were no match for the heat on her cheeks. "When are we doing this stupid thing anyway?"

"Ah, the smooth talking has begun, I see."

"Dreeeamm..." she whined, growing increasingly tired of the butterflies in her stomach. Why did she suddenly feel so nervous around him? It's not sudden, she told herself.

Dream's cute laugh interrupted her thoughts. "What about tomorrow?"

"I'm streaming Among Us tomorrow."

He groaned. "You never make time for me."

"I cannot stand you," she joked, laughs slipping through her annoyed voice and blowing her cover. "You're the one who said you were too busy to join my lobby. So really you don't make time for me."

"No, no, no," he protested. "I'd make time for one-on-one time with you, just not a game where I hardly get to talk to you."

"Oh my gosh." She rolled her eyes. "How did you turn this around to sound cute again."

"Aw, Bug, you think I'm cute?"

"You ruined it by asking. What are you doing tomorrow anyway?"

"I have to finish a plug-in by tomorrow night so George and I can test it. There's still a lot to fix so it'll probably will take all day."

"Oooh," she cooed. "What's it do?"

"It changes the world every time we take damage," he explained with a hint of pride in his voice.

"What the! That sounds awesome!"

"Thanks," he said shyly, proudness gone now that he was being complimented. "Anyway, George is really busy next week so we have to test it tomorrow night so we can record the next day."

"You probably should finish it then."

"Or you could cancel your stream and we could go on a date."

"Dream!" She laughed. "No! How about next week. Between you editing the video you record, we go on a Minecraft date. How's Thursday?"

"I guess I could fit you into my schedule..."

"I hate you."

His cheeky grin could be heard through his stupid words. "Keep telling yourself that."

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A/N: *sniff* *sniff* yall smell a hater in those twitter screenshots?? hmmm.....

taglist: OPEN (At the time) (if your blog is in bold, i couldnt tag you, so check your settings so that blogs that dont follow you can tag you!!) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @jabby16 @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @peteysgf @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @oi-itsemily @alm334 @katastrophe-kam @wreny24 @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode199 @strawbrinkofdeath @aha-red

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #dreamwastaken fanfiction #smau #dreamwastaken smau #social media fiction #dreamwastaken social media fic

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somewhatgreatexpectations · 4 years ago

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To Die For (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! It is with great joy and a little bit of sadness that I present you all with the final part of “Love Goes”. This part in particular is inspired by Sam Smith’s “To Die For”. Pieces from Endgame are used but very little.

Summary: The aftermath of Endgame, how will Wanda navigate and what will happen to Y/n.

“I long for you, just a touch of your hand. You don't leave my mind. Lonely days I'm feeling like a fool for dreaming… Sunshine living on a perfect day while my world's crashing down.”

Hope. That was all Wanda had left. She knew that she couldn’t let it waver for even a moment. Allowing the hope within her to waver would be the same as accepting defeat. Accepting that you weren’t coming back. That was something she would never allow herself to believe.

Like you told her, you and her were a happy ending. It’s the only ending she could ever envision for herself. The only life she wanted. The only life she’d accept. You and her. Together. Happily.

It had only been a week since the fateful battle and you had been transferred to a S.W.O.R.D. facility since. What worried Wanda most was that you still hadn’t woken up and hadn’t shown much progression since arriving.

She could still feel you though.

Wanda would allow herself glimpses into your mind and could see the vibrancy that still existed within. Your heart was still beating, and your mind was still your own. Even if you weren’t awake, you were still you.

The thought brought comfort to Wanda despite the circumstances. It kept hope alive in her heart.

It was only a matter of time until you were awake and in her arms again. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

The situation could have been worse though and she knew that. Shortly after you were transferred to the facility she learned the full details of how exactly Thanos was defeated. How Tony and Natasha had given their lives in exchange for the outcome. As much as the news saddened her, she couldn’t help but feel a selfish sense of relief that you hadn’t been dealt the same fate.

Her life – her heart - felt as though it was hanging in the balance. You were all she had. All she wanted. If she lost you she knew there would be no recovery for her. She’d drown. Sink to the bottom with no chance of resurfacing if you weren’t there to pull her back up.

The warmth of your hand in her own anchored her. It always did, but not as much as being in your arms, or hearing your voice. “I’m drowning.” She whispered against your hand. “I’m drowning, Y/n. I need to hear your voice, see you open your eyes, and have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I’m drowning, and you can’t save me until you wake up.” Her lips trembled slightly against your hand as a single tear fell down her cheek.

The days and nights had blurred together for her. Both of which were spent unwaveringly at your side. The only disruptions often came in the form of varying people in the facility checking your vitals or injecting new medications into your IV that they informed her should wake you up soon.

Besides the worry and fear she constantly felt, there was a sense of bitterness that the only one who had come to see you or her during your time in the facility was Fury. That was only when you were still at S.H.I.E.L.D’s location. It was upsetting to her that Steve had yet to visit you considering the history you two shared and how close you two had always been. Considering how you had been willing to risk your life for him on multiple occasions.

Today was Tony’s funeral and she was reluctantly leaving your side to pay her respects for a short while. Also, to give Rogers a piece of her mind.

When the funeral concluded she wandered over to the lake to collect her thoughts and emotions. Taking in the beautiful day around her, a stark contrast to how she felt internally. The perfect day felt wrong when it still felt like her world was crashing down within her.

As she was staring out the lake, preparing herself for what she wanted to tell Steve, Clint walked up to her. “Hey, kid.”

Wanda kept a neutral face and merely nodded at him. “Hello.”

There was hesitation in the way Clint stopped at her side. “You have every right to not want to talk to me right now.” He began seriously, his head ducked shamefully. “I wanted to go visit Y/n… Check on you. I did. I just-… It’s been hard accepting that Nat’s gone, you know? It’s not an excuse for not being there. It’s just where my head was. I’m sorry, Wanda.”

As much as Wanda wanted to ignore him, she knew she couldn’t. “I understand.” She replied softly, her gaze still on the lake before her.

“I wish there was a way that I could let her know that we won. That we did it.” Clint admitted quietly to her.

Wanda shifted her gaze to him. “She knows.” There was a small pause. “They both do.” Despite not being awake, she liked to believe that you knew.

Clint wrapped a comforting arm around her and she leaned into the embrace.

“Wanda.” A somber voice caught her attention as she turned to find Steve standing there with his hands folded behind his back. “A word?”

Clearly not wanting to be caught in the crossfire, Clint stepped back. “I think that’s my cue to go.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Wanda’s head. “I’ll do better, okay? Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be by to visit Y/n soon.” Wanda nodded slightly at his words as he walked away.

When Clint was out of the vicinity, Steve stepped into his place. Wanda’s jaw clenched. She was more upset at him than anyone. She knew if roles were reversed you would have been uncompromisingly by his side.

“What do you want?” She asked, her tone cold.

Steve’s face remained neutral despite her tone. “How is she?”

A bitter laugh escaped her lips at his question. “How is she?” she shook her head in disbelief. “You have a lot of nerve asking that when you’ve had a whole week to go see for yourself.”

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. “Look, Wanda, I understand you’re upset with me but I-“

Wanda rounded on him, her eyes livid. “Upset? I am far passed upset, Rogers. I’m furious. Y/n needed you and you abandon her. She would have done anything for you! She idolized you!”

Each of Wanda’s words impacted Steve, she could see that, but she didn’t stop. He took it. “She thought you were her family and you couldn’t even be bothered to go see for yourself if she’s okay! You don’t even care-“

“Enough! That’s not true!” Steve roared. The accusation that he didn’t care seemingly being the final straw. Wanda recoiled in surprise. “I feel guilty, okay? I feel like the only reason that she’s in there in the first place is because of me. I couldn’t face her. I didn’t deserve to.” His volume didn’t lower as the emotions he was holding in finally boiled over.

“You know she wouldn’t have blamed you.” Wanda eventually replied, her tone still clipped.

Steve rubbed a hand down his face. “I know, but I do. I blame myself. She was trying to protect me, and she only felt like she had to protect me because I couldn’t stop him the first time. She got hurt because I couldn’t get to her fast enough. She’s my family too.”

As much as she wanted to be angry with him, she found it much more difficult when she learned of the guilt that seemed to be weighing heavily on him. “You know Y/n would have done that either way.” She confessed quietly. “She would have tried to stop him regardless of who she was defending. That’s who she is.”

A weak nod was his only response. Wanda wasn’t sure if he believed her. “How has she been?” Steve repeated, hoping for a genuine answer this time.

“She still hasn’t woken up.” Wanda began unsteadily. “They keep injecting her with new serums everyday saying that each one will wake her up, but it never does.”

Steve closed his eyes at the information, his expression distressed for just a moment until he schooled his features and put on a brave face for Wanda. “She’s going to wake up. I know she will.”

Hearing the words she had been telling herself from someone else brought Wanda a small sense of comfort. “I know she will too.” She turned to him. “I’m going to get back to her now, she needs me. Go see her.”

“I will.” He nodded firmly, his words definitive. “I have to return the stones in an hour and try and see if I can undo something. As soon as I do that I’ll be immovably by her side. I’ll stay with you until she wakes up. You have my word. She has my word.” There was purpose in his voice.

Wanda quirked her lips up slightly at him and nodded without a word. She knew he meant what he said. She walked off to her car to begin the drive back to S.W.O.R.D’s medical branch of the facility. ___________________ Her heart dropped when she entered your room, only to be met with an empty bed. On numb legs, she ran out and stopped the first worker she saw. “Y/n Y/ln. Where is she? She was here just an hour ago.”

The employee looked around nervously. “She’s been moved. I believe it would be in your best interest to speak to the director.”

Wanda’s brow furrowed in confusion. “The director? Why?”

“His office is located on the second floor, third door on the left.” The employee informed her meekly before scurrying away.

Practically running, Wanda reached the office in minutes, throwing the door open. “Ms. Maximoff.” The man who she presumed to be the director greeted her, an unnerving smile on his face.

“Where is she?” Wanda demanded, not caring about anything other than being reunited with you. “Is-is she okay?” Anxiety began to build within her and press against her chest making it harder for her to breath. Her nails dug into her palms.

The man gestured for her to sit in an empty chair, she ignored the request. “My name is Tyler Hayward. I am the director of S.W.O.R.D.”

Wanda merely stared blankly back at him, her jaw clenched tightly. “Where. Is. Y/n?” She enunciated sharply, her patience fading.

The unnerving smile never faltered on Hayward’s face. “That is the unfortunate part, Ms. Maximoff. You see, while you were gone Ms. Y/ln suffered from some brain hemorrhaging. We were able to stop it, but it seems her brain has suffered an extensive amount of damage. We ran some tests and it appears she has lost all cognitive function. She is just a shell now. She only has another day or two at best. I’m sorry.”

Wanda’s world stopped at his words. She immediately shook her head. “That’s not true.” She said shakily as tears began streaming down her cheeks, the weight on her chest getting heavier, forcing her under. She couldn’t breathe. “That’s not true. Let me see her.”

Hayward gestured forward to the large window in his office. “They’re running some tests on her now, but so far the data has remained conclusive. There is no longer brain function.” Numbly Wanda walked up to the large window and glanced down, feeling the life drain from her at the sight of you. Pale and on what looked like an experimentation table, surrounded by several S.W.O.R.D. scientists. “I’m afraid it’s time to start talking about letting her go.”

Wanda spun around to face him angrily. “Let her go?” she cried, her voice cracking. “She’s all I have.”

Hayward held his hands up slightly. “It’s only a matter of days before she’s unable to breathe on her own and her heart stops being.”

Empty. That’s what she felt at his words. She wanted to scream. Her powers reacted to the emotion she was feeling before her mind did as the glass she was leaning on shattered. Without hesitation she floated down to where you were. Her heart hammering in her chest the closer she got.

The world around her went dark and the only sight she was able to take in was the way your chest weakly rose and fell with each breath. With shaking hands, she raised them to your temple as feeble wisps of red floated from her fingertips and disappeared into your mind.

All she saw was darkness.

“I can’t feel you.” She whispered brokenly, the pain in her chest overcoming her. The sensation composing her entire being as everything within her collapsed. She was alone, and she knew she wouldn’t recover. Then everything went dark around her. ________________________________

“Darling, have you seen my notebook? I’m running late for my meeting with my editor and I can’t seem to find it anywhere.” You questioned hastily as you rushed into the kitchen and skidded to a halt in the entry way. Looking around the area with a frazzled expression on your face.

Wanda looked over from her place by the stove and waved her hand, the notebook floating from under your arm to directly in front of your face. “You mean this one, dear?” She asked with an amused smile.

Sheepishly you plucked the notebook out of the air as you made your way over to her. “What would I do without you?” You leaned forward so your lips rested gently against her own.

“Mmm,” Wanda mumbled with a smile as she spoke against your lips. Her arms resting comfortably over your shoulders. “I believe your mind would fail you, sweetheart.”

Your hands fell to her waist as you pulled her closer. “That’s for certain.” You replied easily with a loving smile. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

A small blush spread over her cheeks. “You have not but thank you. You look beautiful as well, darling. I’m beginning to get jealous that your editor gets to spend the day in your presence. Speaking of…” she trailed off and glanced pointedly at the clock.

“My meeting!” Your eyes widened as you pressed one last loving kiss to her lips. “I’ll be going now. I love you, darling. I’ll be home soon!” You shouted as you began running out.

Wanda shook her head at you, the smile on her face never faltering. “I love you, too, dear!” She called after you, pretending to catch the kiss you blew to her as you rushed out the door. She sighed happily and leaned against the wall of the kitchen.

The end.

. . . . . .

“Glad you were able to make it, Rogers.” Fury said seriously as he shook Steve’s hand. “And Ms. Romanoff. Welcome back.” He shook her hand as well.

Steve nodded easily in response. “Of course. You know that I’d be here in a heartbeat for Y/n. Wanda as well.” Both followed Fury into a large make-shift tent located in the woods.

“What exactly are we dealing with?” Natasha asked, confusion lacing her words.

For a moment Fury seemed to ponder her question. “We’re not entirely sure.”

“Does Wanda even know that she saved Y/n? That she was never gone?” Steve questioned seriously, his arms crossed as he stared at the screen before him.

Fury shook his head. “No. It seems Hayward convinced Wanda that Y/n was gone, no brain function. What Wanda didn’t know was he had gone rogue. Every serum they injected in Y/n kept her in her comatose state rather than attempt to wake her up like they were telling Wanda. I’ve looked at the files that my inside contacts gave me, and it seems Y/n should have been up in the first day or two to recover from minor brain swelling.”

“Why are they doing this though?” Natasha questioned as she looked over the chart. Steve’s jaw was clenched as he listened to each detail.

Taking the chart from Natasha, Fury turned the pages until he found what he was looking for and handed it back to Natasha. “Right there. It seems that Y/n carries a rare mutant gene that they could extract and essentially build an army with. They believed that if they removed Wanda from the picture they could continue the experiments and eventually wipe Y/n’s memory to use her as a weapon. Turn her into a super solider… but much worse because of her powers.” There was an edge to his tone. “They are very interested in her ability to manipulate earth and metal. They had considered Wanda briefly as well, but the perfect opportunity presented itself with Y/n. That’s why they insisted on her transfer to their facility.”

“How do we get them back before Hayward gets to them?” Steve questioned quietly, a dangerous tone to his voice.

Instead of answering Fury gestured to the woman who had been sitting and listening to the conversation. “Wanda isn’t letting anyone with ties to your past in. Fury already tried. She won’t let you or Natasha in.” They both stared at her. “I didn’t introduce myself. Sorry, my name is Darcy Lewis. Astrophysics. Big fan.” The bespectacled woman rambled.

Natasha smirked, an amused glint in her eye. “Okay, Darcy Lewis, what’s our next step?”

“We’ll do whatever it takes.” Steve finished powerfully as they all watched you and Wanda share a sweet kiss before the credits began to roll on the screen before them.

Well, that’s all folks! 13 parts completed! It’s been a journey writing this and it is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written. This story has become my baby and it always brings me so much joy to read your comments and seeing others enjoy it. I had a plan for this chapter since the moment I began writing this story but it was so hard when it came down to writing because of the most recent episode of Wandavision, so I tweaked it a little. Was it a sadder or happier ending? You may never know. Thank you all so much for taking this journey with me. I hope you enjoyed.

As always, thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

p.s. I brought back Steve and Nat but I couldn’t figure out how to make Tony surviving make sense or fit the story, sorry. Still love Tony.

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bruhlsbees · 4 years ago

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bubbles part two || baron helmut zemo x fem!reader

read part one here!

summary: you and zemo get a little handsy in the bathtub

pairing: baron helmut zemo x fem!reader

warnings: this the one y’all, the smut fest, but no seriously it’s just pure filth, messy bathtub sex, slight sub!zemo, nsfw, 18+, minors dni

word count: 2,709

a/n: thank you to those who enjoyed part one! :) i’m getting back into writing fanfiction and i hope to continue writing loads of stuff for y’all! enjoy!! (by the way this is my first time writing smut so please bear with me if it's a hot mess)

A low humming woke you up. Blinking, you looked ahead of you and saw Zemo laying back, eyes closed as he hummed an unfamiliar tune. You figured it must’ve been something he grew up hearing in his home country of Sokovia. Smiling, you shook your head and closed your eyes again. You didn’t mind if you fell asleep again, you were quite content with your current situation.

When the two of you shared such a sweet kiss only moments ago, you knew that your behavior towards the man was different. No longer were you annoyed with his presence, but...pleased to find him enjoying your company. You weren’t one for seeking male attention, not caring for the validation as you had your own self confidence that was worth more than any man’s comment - but when it came to Zemo, it was different.

The tune soon dulled to silence and you were once again welcomed to the sound of peace. The only noise you heard was your own heartbeat in your ears. The water was now lukewarm and the bubbles had faded away, you were still comfortable, not even minding the fact that Zemo was in with you. Zemo was also extremely pleased with laying in the tub with you - his rough hands still rubbing your smooth legs and dimpled thighs.

Opening his eyes, Zemo snuck a quick look to see if your eyes were open - seeing that they were closed, he smiled and opened his eyes fully, taking in your naked figure under the water. He noted how beautiful you were, how the picture he had of you in his head was right. There was so much you hid under your clothes, it pained him.

Honey eyes found their way trailing from the top at your delicate face down to the bottom where his hands laid on your knees. Zemo blinked, his mouth gaped open and his breathing shaky. He could feel the heat pulsating from his chest down to his now hardening cock.

Biting down on his bottom lip, Zemo adjusted his position in the tub, sitting up slightly, his right hand dropping down to squeeze himself for a brief moment, applying any sort of pressure he could to relieve the built up lust.

When he wrapped his hand around his cock, Zemo sucked in a sharp breath, groaning your name quietly as he felt the pressure only build, his hips bucking up slightly. Unwrapping his hand quickly, Zemo returned his hand back to your knee, his now hard cock sticking up.

Well that didn’t help.

You heard your name be called in a low whisper, almost not catching it at first. Opening your eyes, you sat up slightly and saw Zemo, staring at you with an almost uncomfortable expression. Frowning, you furrowed your eyebrows slightly, “Are you okay? You don’t look well.”

He let out a weak laugh, shaking his head as his gaze faltered down, “I may have...gotten a little too comfortable, in our current situation.” The confession confused you at first, wondering what he was meaning by it. It wasn’t until you finally looked down and under the water that you realized what he meant.

Oh, that.

When your gaze flickered back up, you met eyes with Zemo and his cheeks were now pink. For such a ‘bad guy’, he seemed to be rather innocent with this sort of thing. You figured with him having a wife and everything, this sort of stuff wouldn’t make him so awkward - but you didn’t mind, it was kind of cute.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” You asked, sitting up fully now and resting on his legs. You usually weren’t the one to take charge in these situations, but it seemed as though he needed help. After all, the man hadn’t probably had sex in almost eight years.

You watched as Zemo became flustered, watching you carefully as you moved up his legs more, settling closer to him, your arms wrapped around his neck now.

“I...I don’t know.” Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, Zemo looked up at you, his chest rising and falling as he felt your gentle touch along his bare skin.

Staring down at him, you smiled, quite enjoying the advantage you had over him currently with him sunk in the tub, you resting on his lap. Your fingers gently ran up his neck and face, lightly running along his bottom lip before both hands slipped down and rested flat on his chest.

“You know you talk a lot of game, Zemo,” You noted, smiling as he tilted his head to the side slightly in confusion. “When you first came in and interrupted my bath, I thought you’d be the one taking care of me. But it seems that even the evil mastermind himself needs to be taken care of once in a while.”

The statement took Zemo back a bit. He wasn’t offended by any means, just surprised by the dominant nature of it - he never took you as the type.

“I’ll ask you again,” You began, leaning forward and placing deep peppered kisses along his neck, pulling away when you heard the soft moan escape his lips, looking at him in his eyes, “What are you going to do about it? What do you want?”

“I-I want,” When he felt your lips on him again, he sucked in a sharp breath, his hands running down your back before resting on your hips, “I want to bury myself in you. I want to fuck you.”

Smiling against his cheek, you pulled back and looked at him contently, “Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

Pushing yourself up slowly, you adjusted yourself further up on his lap before sinking onto him, moaning as you felt his hardened length push deep inside of you. Biting down on your lip, you closed your eyes for a moment to adjust to him inside of you before opening your eyes, smiling at him before once again meeting him in the middle for a kiss.

When your lips met there was no carefulness as once before - your teeth knocked against one another and you swore you almost choked on his tongue with how far he shoved it down your throat. You wished that the kiss could last forever, but you were begging for air. Pulling away, you panted - chest heaving as you stared at Zemo, both of your lips swollen and red.

You rocked your hips steadily against him, riding his dick the best you could given your situation in the tub. The water made things a little too slick for your liking, but with how close he held you to him, you hardly had to readjust him back in you.

“Zemo...I-fuck, you feel so good.” You whined, feeling him lean forward and kiss your neck now, sucking on a sweet spot on the side before trailing down to your shoulder, biting down on your soft flesh. Desperate to cling onto you in any way he could, he moved his hands up slightly and gripped at your side, jolting back when you cried out.

Looking up at you, Zemo’s expression faltered from lust to worry, his honey eyes glistening with confusion, “What happened? Are you okay?”

You could all but groan, nodding as you took his hand and moved it back down to your hip, “Madripoor, I got hit pretty good. My ribs are bruised so it’s just...just hurts is all. I should have said something before, I jus-”

You were cut off quickly by his lips, smiling weakly into the sweet kiss. When he pulled away, you felt his fingers tuck your hair back behind your ear that had fallen and stuck to your cheek, “I don’t think you need to apologize, I’ll be more careful.”

Zemo sat up and scooted forward in the tub, wrapping your legs around him and pulled you until your chest meant his, moaning when he felt your hardened nipples against him. He guided you up and down on his cock, disregarding the water that sloshed out of the tub.

“Next time, perhaps it will be healed,” He choked out, his forehead resting against the side of your face before turning, placing open mouthed kisses up your face to your ear, pressing his lips against you, “And I won’t be so gentle.”

Next time. He was already thinking about the next time you’d share an intimate moment.

Pulling back, you grabbed his face in your hands, grinning back at him, “I’ll hold you to it.”

You placed your hold down onto his shoulders, matching his pace as you came down onto him when he rocked his hips up, moaning at the contact. While the sweet talk was nice, you were desperate for a release, and you couldn’t imagine Zemo thought much different.

As Zemo rocked into you, his pace quickening and his thrusts harder, the only thing that escaped your mouth were moans and cries that left you pathetically desperate. Zemo quite enjoyed seeing you come undone on top of him, hearing your moans were like music to his ears.

“Next time,” He panted, looking up at you as your head fell back, eyes closed tightly, “I’ll take you in a bed and we will spend all night making love until the sun comes up. Perhaps next time I’ll bury my face in between your thighs. Would you like that?”

Nodding, you bit down on your lip, a little harder than before, but you were close, so close, and you didn’t know how much longer you’d last - especially if Zemo kept up with his promises.

You felt your orgasm build, your hands gripping the sides of the tub tightly as you shook your head, “I-I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

“Hold it, wait until I tell you to cum.”

The order only made you whine, you didn’t know if you could hold on for him.

His pace became messy, almost desperate to pound into you. His ragged breath indicated to you that he was probably close and wouldn’t last much longer either. You felt your head be pulled down, Zemo grabbing your face and pulling your into a feverish kiss.

“Mine, mine, mine.” He repeated against your lips, sucking on your bottom lip before biting down on it.

Moaning against his lips, you wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him desperately as you felt his cock hit your g-spot, your legs shaking around his waist. You couldn’t help but grip onto his cock, making it even harder for him to not spill into you right then and there.

And then it finally came. He became so desperate, so eager with his own release that he forgot about your bruised ribs, wrapping you into a hug as he pounded into you even harder, “I’m going to- cum with me, can you do that?”

Nodding, you rested your face against the side of his head, closing your eyes tight as his fingers sank into your back, thrusting four more times before snapping up suddenly, letting out a loud moan into your ear before spilling his seed into you.

You were only seconds behind him, moaning innocently as you went slack against him, panting in his ear as you laid against him. It was good, so good. You weren’t expecting it to be quite honest. You figured he would be a little rough, given the lack of opportunity for sex, but he went above and beyond what you imagined.

After a few moments, finally catching your breath, you pulled back and looked at Zemo, his pupils blown and only the outer rim of his eyes honey, the rest dark. Blushing faintly, you wiped your hair off your face, blinking before letting out a light-hearted laugh.

“That was...really good.” You confessed, smiling when you felt him lean forward to kiss your cheek. “Indeed, it was.”

While you wished to stay in the tub, have him deep inside of you all day, you knew that it wouldn’t be long before Sam and Bucky got back, and this wasn’t something you wanted to try and explain to them.

As you pushed yourself up off him, you fell back to your original spot in the tub, leaning back to catch your breath and calm down. Zemo, on the other hand, was already moving out of the tub, going to grab some towels to clean up the mess the two of you made.

When Zemo finished cleaning up the water, he dried himself off with one of the dry towels, discarding his robe with the rest of the wet towels. He wrapped the towel around his waist before grabbing a towel for you, making his way over to the tub, tapping your arm lightly as he noticed your eyes closed.

“Here, let me help you.”

Opening your eyes, you turned and saw Zemo standing with a towel opened for you, a warm smile on his face. You could only smile back, admiring the domestic care that Zemo was giving you. While you stood up, you felt his hands hold onto your arms as you stepped out of the tub, not wanting you to slip, before wrapping the towel around you, securing it tight so it wouldn’t fall.

Looking back up at you, Zemo smiled and ran his fingers along your cheek before leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “I suppose we should get dressed before they come back.”

Nodding in agreement, you watched as Zemo nodded curtly before turning, making his way out of the bathroom to go find some clothes. Going to the chair, you untied the towel from around you and dropped it to the floor, pulling on your clean clothes. When you finished pulling up your jeans, securing the belt tight, you heard the front door open and close, indicating that Sam and Bucky had returned.

Making your way from the bathroom to the main room, you smiled at Sam and Bucky who immediately crashed on the couch, letting out a sigh, “So? How did it go?” You asked, leaning against the kitchen island.

“Alright, area seems pretty secured for the most part. Won’t be hard to find the Flag Smashers, no doubt.” Bucky explained, leaning his head back, eyes closed.

“That’s good,” You noted, moving to sit on one of the stools, beginning to pick at your nails, “Hopefully it won’t take too long to track them down.”

Sam, who was now on his laptop, looking at something, nodded in agreement, “Yeah, hopefully. How was it by the way?”

Looking up from your nails, you frowned, confused, “How did what go?”

Turning his head, Sam could only laugh, “Watching Zemo? He didn’t give you a hard time did he? Where is he by the way?”

“Oh, yeah, no, he was fine. Just kept to himself.” You cleared your throat awkwardly before turning your attention to the door that he was in before shrugging, “I assume he’s getting dressed. We were in the bathroom while you were gone.”

The sentence sent both Sam and Bucky staring at you as though you had horns growing out of your head. When you turned your attention back to them, you quickly realized what you had said and covered your ass.

“No, god no, he was in the shower when you guys left and I got in after he came out. Jesus, you really think?” You couldn’t even finish your sentence without laughing, shaking your head before crossing your arms over your chest, “You guys are out of your mind.”

Both men looked relieved to hear that their idea as to what happened while they were gone was proven to be false - but only if they knew they were entirely right. While they went back to doing whatever it was that they were doing, you turned your attention towards Zemo’s room again, this time seeing him in the doorway, smiling in your direction before sending a wink in your direction.

Blushing, you looked away and couldn't help but smile, listening as he came out of the room and into the kitchen, grabbing some cups and the kettle to make some tea.

“Would anyone like some cherry blossom tea?”

#daniel bruhl #baron helmut zemo #helmut zemo #zemo #baron zemo x you #helmut zemo x you #zemo x you #zemo imagine #zemo smut #daniel brühl #daniel bruehl

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pockcock · 4 years ago

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distraction (erwin x f!reader)

MINORS DNI summary: you were trying to focus on your work but your boyfriend erwin had other ideas. warnings: smut. pure smut. dom!erwin. modern!erwin. choking. slight degradation. sleepy bilingual writer. NO EDITING. MINORS DNI. wordcount: 1093

“Sweetheart?”

You heard Erwin’s tired voice as he walked into your study room. “You have been studying for 4 hours straight baby.” He was sleepy, you could hear that from his husky voice.

“I know,” Your eyes were focused on your computer screen. “But the deadline is at 7 AM. I have 6 hours left and I need to finish editing tonight.” It wasn’t that you were already done with your work, you just wanted to check it one more time.

“I finally can hear your voice!” He slowly approached and put his firm hands on your shoulders. “You should take a break, at least for thirty minutes,” His lips were on your hair. “C’mon y/n…”

You lift your head to meet his gaze, his blue orbs were clouded by sleep. He was wearing sweatpants, leaving his abs on display. “Erwin, let me finish?” You gave his abs a kiss. “I’ll be done in no time, I promise.”

“You said the same thing 3 hours ago!” He chuckled. “Y/n, I miss your voice, your presence.” His hands now were massaging your shoulders while his lips were mumbling his words to your hair. “You are tense baby.” His hands found your neck, slowly lifted your chin to give a soft kiss. “Let me help you relax.”

“S-Sure,” you said after breaking away from his lips. God, his lips were captivating and literally breathtaking. “But no distractions. I need to focus, seriously.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Erwin was gently squeezing your shoulders as you continued translating (mostly editing) your files. His hands felt so good on your shoulders; his firm and calloused fingers were like cotton candy for you. He was a soldier, a commander, yes. But he was also your soft man.

“Thank you so much Erwin…” You almost moaned.

“Mhm…” You heard his smirk. “I knew you’d like it.”

You were halfway done when you felt his hands going under your tank top, caressing your breasts. “Babe?”

“Yes?” Oh shit. You knew this voice and you knew what it meant.

“I told you not to distract me-OH!” Your words were lost in your throat as he gripped your neck.

“I couldn’t exactly catch your words, babygirl. Can you be so kind to repeat?” You tried to talk but his squeeze got firmer. “Please. Use your words.”

“E-Erwin!” It was all you could say.

“I’m here baby.” His other hand went down and gave your breast a squeeze, pinched your nipple. I’m here.”

“M-More plea-se!” No distraction rule was thrown away.

“Oh, you want more? Why don’t you say so?” He let go of your throat, guiding you to stand up. “Bend over, sweet girl.”

You tried to catch your breath as you got up.”Let me save this document, will you?” You tried to reach for your mouse. “It’ll take a second.”

Erwin was a man of patience. Focus. Commitment. He was a commander who dealt with interesting things on a daily basis. But people would obey him. They would question his orders yet still obey him. He was used to obedience. He was used to the words “Yes, sir.” But moments like this, his patience was being questioned. He would go nuts when you wouldn't obey him.

Maybe he wasn’t so patient after all?

“Sweetheart…” He forcefully slammed you to your desk and tugged your hair. You could feel his hard bulge. “What did I tell you?” His voice was calm when he was losing it.

You hissed as his grip in your hair was getting stronger. “B-Bend over..”

“Yes I did.” Your hair was hurting from his firm grip, you placed your hands on the desk to find some support. “Why won’t you obey me...” He undid your shorts and pulled them down with your penties. “...when you became this wet? I didn’t even touch you!”

You moaned when his fingers found your slick folds. “Look at you, babygirl.” He pushed his middle finger. “Taking me so well...” You were losing it when he curled his fingers.”...like a slut.”

“Erwin!”

He slammed your body on the desk again. “Wrong one, sweetheart.” His ring finger joined his middle.

“S-Sir?” Your brain was a mush in his hands. Or around his fingers.

“Better.”

You wanted him to fuck you, wanted him to be in you, wanted him to rail you. But your pride was dominant. But you were burning. You were burning with the heavy sensation of arousal. You moaned into the desk, not willing to give him what he wanted. Your walls were clenching around his digits.

He curled his fingers in your wetness. “I feel you’re getting closer.” He smirked cockily. “Look at you… Trembling under me, a moaning mess. Tell me, slut, should I let you cum?”

Before you could talk, your high hit you with a big wave of pleasure. Your eyes went back and your mouth fell open. You knew he would get mad, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Tsk!” He pulled his fingers away. “You slut!” He yanked your hair, pulling to his chest. “What gave you the idea that you could cum without my permission?”

“E-rwin…” You were trembling. He let go of his grip and let you fall on your knees. “I’-m sorr-y.”

“Go and wait in bed.” He didn’t even look at you. “Naked.”

Rest of the night, you were screaming his name while shaking under him. You were left with pretty purple marks on your neck, breasts and thighs. Before passing out from pleasure, you remember seeing the clock saying ‘4:00 AM on your nightstand. When you opened your eyes again, it was 1:37 PM.

“Shit!” Your project manager was going to fire you. “SHIT!”

With wobbly legs from last night, you entered your study room. You were about to cry once you found a note with Erwin’s handwriting.

Morning sweetheart. I must apologise for my behaviour last night. It was unnecessary. I hope you felt good, because I sure did. Also, I checked your project. It was perfect. At 6 AM, I sent it to your PM. He thanked you. And sorry for the marks, I guess I couldn’t help myself. But it’s on you, you were just so beautiful! Stay in bed today. I made banana bread for you, it’s in the oven. I let it there so it wouldn’t be cold when you get up. When I come home, we can order some pizza and cuddle on the couch. I miss you already.

Lots of love. Erwin

a/n: This is my first smut in English. I'm scared :')

also HUGE THANKS to @marviesss and @sleepyrintaro for helping me out <3 lot of luv <3

#erwin smut #erwin x reader #erwin x y/n #snk erwin #erwin smith #erwin x you #attack on titan #aot smut #snk smut

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damselofblueroses · 3 years ago

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The Name of the Rose, Chapter 4

Summary: Your study-buddy Doh Kyungsoo comes with you for a long-awaited trip to Tokyo, Japan. There is a tension between you, however both of you decided to build a friendship instead of a relationship.

Chapter Summary: Kyungsoo taught the Reader how she should be touched. After the lesson the Reader answers his question and tell him her observation about the lesson. (Note: This chapter is fucking long, so grab your drink before reading babes!)

Content: Unestablished relationship, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Anger, Slight Violence, Emotional Complications and Healing.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story was inspired by D.O.’s album, Empathy, the album of 2021 in my opinion. It is an ongoing mini project, I planned to write it as a one-shot when I started, however I realized there are a lot to say about Empathy Era and I cannot stop shut my mouth, or prevent myself from writing… So, here we go.

Chapter Word Count: 11.2k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4: I Am Gonna Love You

A gentle breeze puffed past the slightly open window, as it blowed the curtain, moonlight spilled into the room. There was dull light, coming from the top of the walls, casting a dim yellow tint along the carpet and bed.

A soft smile tugged at Kyungsoo’s lips.

You were glaring at him, to be honest, Kyungsoo felt a little bit exposed to you, but he was more than okey with being naked for you, all with his body, and soul. He was ready to give everything he had. Sometimes he believed that he must be crazy for loving you at this extent, definitely he had gone mad, there was no logical explanation of willingly being at your fingertips.

“We do not,” his voice was reminding you all the warm autumn nights you spent together, it was rich, baritone and velvety, your entire body stiffened as his index finger wandered around your face, from forehead to chin. “We do not do anything you do not want.”

You looked at him, forgetting how to blink. That bloody dim light painting him with a shiny halo, increasing his ethereal beauty and to your dismay, his already so-fucking-strong impacts on you. Sometimes you could not help but wonder if he has been knowing how he affected you or not. His eyes, fucking pair of big-doe eyes, chocolate brown and always full of emotions, skimmed over your face, you swallowed your heartbeat in the throat.

“I know.” you miraculously found your voice out of nowhere. With slow moving fingers, without noticing what the heck you were doing, you touched his upper lip.

Kyungsoo held his groan back, and his hands clenched into fists. He hated himself for his quick response to your touch, he wanted to keep himself as one fucking piece.

You took your hand back off him, hiding it behind your back, sagging against the pillows. A deep sigh emitted from both of you.

You were looking to each other, the silence invaded the room but this time it was different from before. This silence was like a messenger, it was not eerily or strange. Both of you were testing the waters, you were waiting for the one who was going to make the next move, but both of you were aware of the fact that this silence was nothing but an emissary.

An emissary that was telling your mutual desires for each other. Your dire needs and hopes.

He raised his hand, looking at you as asking for your permission, you forgot how to swallow but immediately shook your head from up to down. His lips formed as his fucking signature smile, heart shaped one, the type of smile which Kyungsoo gave only when he was really happy. Your breath stuck in your lungs, an unmistakable blush spread across your face, made its own way to your neck. He crawled towards you, his hands caressed your ankles and spread your legs enough to make a space for himself, sitting between your calves.

The little air which was left in your lungs left your body.

His closeness and warmness started to rile you up, if riling you more than now was possible. You could easily smell his perfume, fuelling your excitement that already brewing the potions in your lower stomach.

Kyungsoo had dangerously lingered in your mind since the first day you saw him.

And now he was sitting between your legs, and only God knew what the heck he was going to do. You knew you could not say no, fuck’s sake you just could not. If he wanted to teach you as you requested, you would say yes. If he wanted to just stay like this, you would say yes. If he wanted to take you over there, you would say yes.

You knew how dangerous your love for Kyungsoo was. You were always imagining him, Kyungsoo has been living with you literally and figuratively.

You did not say this to him, you would never ever, but it was always his name coming from your mouth when you think about the bases. There was no other option, Kyungsoo or no one.

You suddenly remembered the question that Baekhyun asked to you. Unfortunately, as Baekhyun would like to define, your Virgin Mary status, was a topic that the boys really liked to mock with you. However, once Baekhyun seriously asked you, if you could wish for someone ravaging you, who was going to be? As expected Baekhyun gave you a detailed scenario which made you terrified, ended up with a huge fight between you and Baekhyun, however when you were alone, you could not stop thinking about that scenario.

It was Kyungsoo.

The name was his name even when you thought that type of imagines.

It had been Kyungsoo, and it seemed, it was going to be always his name.

When that scumbag, the touchy one pressed his fingers onto your thighs, you did not like it because they were not Kyungsoo’s. You preferred to be violently murdered than admitting this, however when you were be back into the security of your room after that unlucky experience, the only question lingering in your mind was how you could response if those would be Kyungsoo’s fingers? What would you do if those bonny, pale, and sinewy fingers touching your thighs?

You were totally ignorant to the intimate relationships, if Kyungsoo would not be in the picture, you could be sure of you were not engaged to the desires and bodily needs. However, the reason of your hunger was sitting between your legs, and to your dismay you were more than aware of the calls of your body. God, did he have to sit this fucking close to you, enough to make his breathes hovering your hair? You could not tell if you wanted to throw yourself forward to his arms or pushing him to the mattress. God only knows what was going to be next, but your eyes coasted down his biceps, as taut as ever, and the fucking veins that were visible on his wrists appearing more than prominent as he gently held your ankles.

“Are you okey with this?” Kyungsoo pointed his position, smiling a little bit nervously. You inhaled sharply, then a sharp laugh fell from your lips.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you covered your mouth with your hand. Kyungsoo lifted his head, directed his gaze upon you, you wanted to beg him not looking at you with all the power of his eyes.

“No, I need to hear your words.” he slightly pinched your left calf. You tried to free your ankle from his iron grip in order to show your current discontent of his pinch, but your effort made him laugh, despite of his movements shuttered.

“I am okey.” you sheepishly whispered.

“Do you still want me to teach you?” he bit his tongue. While he was itching to teach you, -and to be honest, his inner peace was already destroyed after you asked him if he had feelings for you or not, he was dying to taste you, JesusfuckingChrist, he never had a piece of inner piece since you came into the picture of his life, he also refused to push you for any case. Whether you chose was going to be fine by him, he was not going to dig his own grave by insisting or shoving you.

“Depends.” you murmured. “Only if you do not make fun of me.”

“Why should I make fun of you?” Kyungsoo felt his heart churned. “You asked weird questions, first about leaving you, now about mocking you. Do I make you uncomfortable by any chance?”

“Yes.” you did not think about your answer, then registered to your word. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened, for the first time of his life, he could not find anything to say. He never think that he could be the reason of your discomfort. You quickly realized the meaning of your response, while you were swearing at your fucking useless brain, you took a deep breath. “I mean, yes, you do but not because of anything you do.”

“With all my respect to you,” Kyungsoo took his hands off your ankles. “May I ask what the heck you are talking about?”

“I can be uncomfortable when you are around,” your fingers brushed against each other. Kyungsoo realized that little habit of you, you always do this when you wanted to say something which really mattered to you. “Because sometimes your presence gives me heart attacks, Kyungsoo. I do not know to describe the feelings you cause in me; I am not an expert on the field, but what should I have to do when the only one I want to keep for myself is you?”

Your words caught Kyungsoo off his guard, turning him into a mummy who could not perform anything which were preserved for the human beings.

He never ever give himself the permission of hoping such as hearing these words from you.

“I thought I could control myself.” you let every miserable thought of you came out. “But I failed, I cannot press the feelings I have for you anymore. I know it sounds very poor, and I know how much popular you are.”

Kyungsoo heard himself as snorting, but still he was numb. You were peering him, as you have been expecting a response, a voice, a thing. However, Kyungsoo was not able to give anything, he was frozen, tearing off from his wit. He knew that you were going to get wrong deductions of his persistent silence, but his fucking voice was playing hide and seek.

Surprisingly, you continued to talk.

You realized that talking was refreshing and soothing the painful circles which had been staying in the darkest cliffs of your mind. Despite of your usual behaviour when it came to express how you feel, you decided to communicate with Kyungsoo.

Ride or die.

“I know we are friends, and I really afraid of losing you, but I am losing my fucking sanity, Kyungsoo. Day by day, you had been becoming the center of my thoughts. I thought I was better than this, I made all my effort to seal my fondness of you, but it drives me into crazy. Maybe I am just pathetic.”

Was it really your self-perspective? Kyungsoo wished you could perceive yourself from his eyes.

“You? Pathetic?” his voice was cracked, sounded like an old man. “Impossible.”

There was no hesitation in his face.

“You are quite opposite.” he finally managed to vocalize his thoughts. “If you were pathetic, I would immediately warn you.”

Your head was throbbing because of the hidden passion of his voice tone. His gaze became something irresistible, dawdling on your features, focusing on your pinkish lips.

“Thank you, Soo.” you vaguely smiled. This was Kyungsoo being coddling, as Kyungsoo could possibly be. He fucked the things up, then popped in front of your door, pressed you to the wall, had a shitty conversation, nested between your legs, and in the end, told you his opinion of being pathetic or not by pointing he would scold you as he generally did.

“If you would be pathetic,” he continued. “I cannot be so adamant to be close to you. I would be lying if I say I do not want to be with you. Always.”

It was your turn to lose the trail of thoughts.

“You are not the only one who has feelings.” an eerily laugh followed his words. “And you are not the only one who is afraid of losing what we have. Maybe we are both pathetic, who knows? But I am sincere when I tell you that I have interests in you.”

Silence hovered in the air, you watched his face while he was standing in front of you, refusing to take his eyes off you. You knew he was honest as always, he always said what he thinks, what he believes even it could be hurtful.

If your feelings would be platonic, despite of the sake of your friendship, Kyungsoo would tell you at once.

You leaned forward, you reached to his face, his brows were knitted.

“We are idiots, you know that, right?” you smiled to him.

“We always have been.” he assured you with a serious face. You wholeheartedly laughed. “By the way, is it sake or you I have been talking with?”

“I am sober as fuck.” you chuckled. “You?”

“I did not drink as much as you did, you filthy drunkard.” Kyungsoo quickly shifted between moods. “I am abstinent, abstemious and sober as a judge. However, I do not want to hear those poor self-thoughts from you. Never again.”

His fingers lightly stroked your lips. Your breath stuck in your throat, you lost counting how many times you lost yourself in his touch tonight. Anyone else could consider his tone intimating, but you knew Kyungsoo well enough that he really meant you were precious and beautiful in his eyes.

“Okey.” you nod.

You wanted to ask him what you were going to do with seems-very-correspondingfeelings, but you did not want to push him. Kyungsoo wanted to ask you what you what was your plan about him or if you wanted to have a relationship with him, but he kept himself under the yoke and refused to impel you. His hand was still cupping your face.

Suddenly, he started to feel extremely warm.

“Soo,” you placed your hands onto his shoulder. You actually cooed. “I was also serious when I said I want you to teach me.”

Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Your logic was fogged by the heavy desires, and your logic persuaded you, the one who started all of these was Kyungsoo. He was the one who said that scumbag did it wrong, and since he never ridicule someone for doing something wrong if he did not have the knowledge of the right ways.

And also, you wanted him, you wanted to feel him and have a proper taste.

So, you may be looking for the excuses in the book, but the frustrating heat was unbearable. You did not know what was going to be tomorrow, when you wake up, however you were sure of if you would not feel his lips again, you could not survive enough to see the sun again.

You did not care if you were going to torture yourself by having Kyungsoo for this night even when you were going to want him for the rest of your life, when there was always a possibility of losing him.

“Yeah, you said.” Kyungsoo inhaled. “Okey, I really need your words, and you have to promise me if you want to stop the session, you have to be vocal about it.”

“I…” you stopped before gearing up for the way. “I want to learn. I promise.”

“You are making everything hard for me.” Kyungsoo exhaled, staring at your small hands on his shoulders. “Do you know how you sound like? You are inviting me to please you, sweet Jesus, I want to make you feel good. Do you have any idea how hard to keep myself as a fucking one piece?”

“Do not hold yourself back.” you could not believe your own words. Your voice sounded like you were begging him, as you have not done till now. “Please, Soo.”

Kyungsoo thought that he poisoned you with his warped desires, he was not sure if he deserved you or your trust. You willingly put yourself in his palms, and he deeply believed that you deserved to have someone make you feel good, make you happy and feel secured. You deserved to feel fucking good, and Kyungsoo knew that he wished nothing but happiness for you.

But he could not stand the idea of someone else were to make you happy, make you feel good, even if that person could do it right. He was jealous to the bits even thinking about another man, being with you. He wanted to bring you such a high, maybe that was the worst thing to vocalize, however Kyungsoo wished nothing but be that man. He knew you like knowing the back of his hands, there would be one and only for you, you were an old-fashioned girl when it came to love someone.

He knew you would do everything in your power for the one who you loved, and you would keep him as the only man in your life.

And Kyungsoo felt like the most selfish person in the world for wanting it to be him to be loved by you.

He was aware of the fact that teaching you was just an excuse you came up with. You could tell him that you wanted to have a taste of Kyungsoo, you were too shy to say those words, however only you could be brave enough to find an excuse and play that card.

My little fox, Kyungsoo thought. How could I refuse you?

But there was fear.

After hearing you were also interested in him, you had feelings for him enough to make you to invite Kyungsoo to touch you, Kyungsoo was afraid of nothing, but you would change your mind. He could not endure if you were going to tell him that he made you unhappy. What if he was going to seed wrong thoughts and perspectives in your brain such as you feel like unwanted? He could not survive if he was going to hear that he made it wrong like that scumbag.

But you were leaning to his chest, he could feel your heartbeats and warmness. Your breath hovered his neck, and he could feel your velvety lips just over on his skin.

He was dying to feel more of you.

Shit. He really could not help himself.

He held your chin and lifted your head.

“I will do what you wanted.” he made his final decision. “But I have to warn you before starting to teach you. Every nerve of my body steer me towards you. I really want you. Consciously, logically, physically, emotionally. You name it, you get it.”

Your chin dropped at his bluntness. Well, you did not expect to hear those words, and Godfuckingdamnit, if Kyungsoo was going to be vocal and could not stop his goddamn mouth, you were going to burn right now.

“O-okey.” you shuttered. Your entire body tensed beneath his feathery touch, and you felt his touch made your heart rapping at a pace which your lungs could not support.

He closed his eyes.

“Damn.” you heard his low grunt, that made the fire in your stomach worse. “Remember, you promised t-

You could not help.

But kissed his closed eyelids.

Kyungsoo swore on there was no capacity left in his lungs for air as he felt your plumed and delicate kisses on his eyes, from right to left, then you made your way to his eyebrows.

“You have very beautiful eyebrows, Soo.” he heard your whisper, his heart twisted again and again. You had a grip on him, you could revel him in the blink of eye, he had a first handed experience of your power on him. He was riling up even with the idea of being at your call, being at your service, fulfilling your needs and desires as the best way he could. “And your eyes are spectacularly stunning.”

He wished you could stop praising him, otherwise he would just come in his fucking pants after hearing two nice words from you, but to his dismay, you seemed like you could not stop your goddamn mouth tonight.

Even worse, you could not prevent yourself from memorizing the details of his face with your lips and fingers. You laid your lips on his forehead as you got your hands through his stubborn hair to his neck, and you could not be sure if Kyungsoo’s body was actually trembling or if you were persuading yourself on managing to seduce him because you were deadly anxious about the issue.

The things you had no idea on that you already ignited the wheels of the machine, set Kyungsoo on fire and there was no turning back.

“Have I ever told you how much I love when you look at me?” you asked. “Even though when you look at me, I feel like I am going to explode, I love to be the view of your eyes. You are breath-taking, Kyungsoo.”

“Can you stop talking?” Kyungsoo could not hold his grunt anymore. “You cannot say these without noticing how effective they are!”

“Why?” your lips formed around a very little smile. “Don’t tell me you are into praising.”

“You little…” Kyungsoo was shocked due to your sudden transformation from a shy schoolgirl into a sharp brat, but you did not hesitate to make it worse by quickly pressing your lips onto his, then backed off.

“I see you really are.” you raised your eyebrow. There was a devilishly look on your face, you remembered something Baekhyun told you, and you did not hold it back. “So, what would happen if I told you how good you are for me?”

Kyungsoo immediately blushed.

“You are really blushing, Soo!” you exclaimed. “Look at your face!”

“Do not forget,” he deeply growled. “You started this game.”

You were not disappointed that seeing his transformation in the blink of an eye. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and securely pressed them on the pillows while pushing you into the mattress. His face was fucking close to you, your lips parted for him.

“You learned that I am into praising,” he beamed. His eyes started to shine like a boy unwrapping his Christmas gifts under the tree. “From now on, I am definitely going to discover what you are into.”

You wanted to answer by saying that you are irrevocably into him, but Kyungsoo’s lips covered your mouth, but he did not stay on your lips more than enough to make you shut up, he swiftly climbed over your body, slipping his waist between your thighs, his hips were fucking close to set your world on fire.

Kyungsoo did not hesitate to give you a couple of short kisses before fully taking your lips in his, just like he was testing the waters and tasting you before starting to completely ravage you. You had no idea how far he was planning to go; however, you were bloody sure on that if he wanted to encourage you to go to whole way, you were going to say yes. His lips were warm and soft as before, feeling you like you were a fucking addict of him.

You felt things you have never ever felt before to the point where he had you coming to stay in the palms of his hands. It could be your lack of experience, but in the deep of your heart, you knew the fact that it was not about being inexperienced or not, you knew that you were trembling, shuttering, shivering, and shaking because what he has been doing to you and for you was nothing but right.

Feels right.

He paused for a moment, he was out of breath and his face all blushed now. He leaned your forehead, cupping your face while he braced himself up on his right forearm. He kissed your forehead, kissing you fervently, he was drowned in all things about you. Your darkened eyes. Your plump lips. Your silky hair. Your words, your kindness, your firmness. You were composed by the everything Kyungsoo could wish for.

Your voice, begging him to touch you. Persuading him to take you.

Fucking hell, he should have kept himself far away from you. He really had to not listen your words when you said you liked him while you always could leave him in the darkness.

But running away from you was also equal to living in a personal hell, especially after learning the fact that you liked him.

Kyungsoo cupped the back of your neck in his palm and traced your eyebrows with his lips, he could feel the heat of your skin, singing the songs for him. All he could think was eating you alive, devouring you, marking you as his.

All his.

He hated being so clingy and cheesy, but he could not help it.

His lips followed their way from your eyebrows to your earlobe, you gasped when his lips brushed your ear, your hands freely moved and grabbed his shirt, digging your finger onto his flesh.

“Remember your promise.” his breath fanned your neck when he whispered. Godfuckingdamnit.“If I make you uncomfortable at any point, tell me.”

“Stop whispering.” you unconsciously moaned, swallowing hard. He made a mental note of your voice, storing the tone in his mind and boyishly grinned. So, you were into whispering. His fingers trailed the back of your neck, moved to your side, and caressed you gently. Your chest rubbing against him as you squirmed under his body as you could feel his hands pressing your sides, locking you in place, it was like your body responding to his heavy touches so well.

You were feeling weird, but it was not about Kyungsoo.

You were meeting with the most foreign part of your body.

There was an ache building between your thighs that you never ever felt before.

“Soo,” you glanced down to his mouth, then backed up to his eyes. His eyes were darkening with hidden desires that he was holding back all these years. “I am generally not like this.”

Kyungsoo wholeheartedly laughed.

“Oh really?” his face was lit up because of your funny explanation. “I know, you little idiot.”

He could feel you falling apart already, the softest whimpers getting caught in your throat and fuck, he could also feel that those stupidly nice noises you were unconsciously making, their effects go straight his dick, then climbing into his stomach and forcing him to dip his mouth against yours. He took your bottom lip between his teeth, your arms jerked around him, and you could not control your hips rutting against him.

Both of you could feel the pressure forming against to your pelvis.

And you heedlessly grind him, when you did that, he was the one who had to break the kiss.

“Shit,” he muttered, barely loud enough.

But you heard him. You heard him, not only hearing but also recording every reaction he gave to you in a folder in your head. You slide your hands up his shoulders and pulled him back into another kiss, even though you were aware of how much you wanted him, you had no idea of how thirsty you were for Kyungsoo’s lips. He was so careful with you, his touch was so delicate, and he was aware of your body and mind, completely tuned into your responses and reactions. He was reading your needs and limits out of your reactions, by every inch of your body where his fingers shifting against your skin, he was learning and composing a new song to be sung together.

You loved it.

Maybe you were sickly eager to be at his fingertips since ages, but you loved how he cared for you. Your blown pupils and glimmering irises were telling him that he was on the right track as he peppered more kisses on your cheeks, nose, and jawbone.

He dipped his head forward, pressing his lips on your neck where he begun to kiss diligently. This was new for you, it was consuming and tantalizing sensation which had you squirming under Kyungsoo, catching your desperate side, and turning you more needy. Your grip on his shoulders tightened, you clung onto the fabric of his t-shirt, and partly his muscles. One of your hands moved immediately to his hair, tugged the back of his head, and pulled him closer, enough to make his face deeper into the crook of your neck.

You could feel his little smile on your skin.

His hair smelled like bloomed roses, paired with something reminded you the salty fragrance of the sea.

Your heart was on the verge of exploding as your blood pressure was skyrocketing.

Kyungsoo bit you very gently, you could hardly feel his teeth, then he drawn a line on your collarbone with his tongue, your head tilted backwards, opened more place for him and you moaned.

“You are so sensitive, huh?” he mocked, and his tease caught you off guard. You shivered more than before in response as his hands wandered around your waist, pressed you against his chest.

So, you were also into teasing. Kyungsoo made another mental note for the future.

For the future.

Kyungsoo had already decided to never ever let you go. Not after hearing your whimpers. Not after tasting your lips. Not after feeling your curves under his stiff body. Not after being the target of your witty remarks.

You bewitched him in body and soul, and he never want to apart from you. If he had to lock you in a room with himself, he would even do it.

He could feel you trembling in his arms, he knew that if he was going to let another one to have you, he would die in that second. He irrevocably fell apart inside, he hovered over you to get a good look at your face, and it was the nail of his coffin.

Your pixie haircut lost its model, splayed out prettily, your cheeks were blushed, you were panting, and your lips were swollen and parted.

“Please.” you gasped, reaching to him again but Kyungsoo removed your hands over his shoulders, placing a tender kiss on your head. It was obvious that your lungs used all the capacity they had as you were out of air.

“Relax.” he murmured very delicately. “Take a deep breath. We are here to go for a long way.”

He turned back to your neck, finding the point of your pulse, circling around the point with his index finger while peppering your collarbone with kisses, touching you less to provide you with the chance of taking a full breath of air. He realized once again the amount of trust you just put in him. He knew that you did not do any of these before, you were totally handing yourself to Kyungsoo, blindly believing in him, the way of feeling proud was making his heart to swell in his chest. He resisted to the need of taking a good look on your curves, he also kept his instincts telling him to run his hands over your body in control. Instead, he made the eye contact and looked at your face when he lifted his head, then he hovered above your shoulder, waited for you till he could feel your breathing was under control.

“I am good.” you sighed.

He took the clue, then his mouth once more connected to your pulse point. He loved to feel your heartbeats beneath his lips and tongue. To be honest he really wanted to suck your sensitive flesh, however he knew that your skin was too pale and delicate, easily be bruised and he did not want to give you that horrible lavender colour as he was informed how much you disliked the bruises. You were extremely clumsy, enough to make him to want building a bubble around you to keep you always safe, however since that was impossible, he had to see and count the bruises and wounds all over your legs and arms.

So, he kept his desires under the yoke.

There were different ways of marking you as his.

He could do that, right? He could make you feel so good, enough to forget every possible name maybe you were keeping in your mind or the invisible rivals whose could always come to your way? He could carve his name in your heart, he could burn you well, so you could not remember anything but Kyungsoo.

What he did still not fully grasp was the fact that Kyungsoo was already the one and only for you.

While he was kissing your neck and collarbone, your fingers made their way from his shoulder to his toned chest and digging into his muscles. Slowly, very slowly, Kyungsoo began to slide the straps of your dress, driving you into crazy and your chest came on display. You always thought it would be very embarrassing, you did not like to be seen by anyone, but when Kyungsoo pressed his bonny fingers onto your chest, you fucking lost it.

It was not embarrassing. It was nothing like you could think of. You just wanted to look beautiful for him, when he lay his palm against your breast, you did not think anything but how much you wanted to please him. His eyes glazed over to your face, by keeping the eye contact, he slightly cupped your breast and gently squeezed.

Your eyes blown up, and you wiggled like a worm again beneath his body, that simple move alarmed your nerves and gave you goosebumps. Your heart thumped around in your throat, rammed against to your ribs just like a bird who wanted to achieve freedom.

“Is this okey?” Kyungsoo asked, his eyes were covered with a glistening thick layer of lust, his voice sounded darker and lower, doubling the tingles he was causing on you, you wanted nothing but crawling into his body. At the same time, he wanted to keep himself, he was afraid of pushing you more than you could ask for, however your fucking choice of undergarment made it almost impossible for him. He did not think Sehun also chose this for you, you were not the type of woman who could go and ask for the fashionable undergarments.

This stupidly attractive bralette must be your own taste, a dark navy bralette was covering your breasts softly, looking wonderful on your pale skin and the decorative details which composed by lace was wrapping your chest.

He closed his eyes for a second, he was not sure if he could survive or not.

You were drowning into the foggy thoughts, but even in this situation, you could not miss a single thing about Kyungsoo. You sharply observed something was wrong with him, and you were scared out of your mind.

You immediately thought that something was wrong with you.

Your insecurities did not wait for even a single moment, and quickly started to howl in your head. Your body stiffed like a rock, your fingers spasmed on his chest.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo reacted to your transformation as your body was frozen in his arms just like he was holding a sculpture which was carved out of ice. You shook your head, but due to the tension you got under your skin, the tears formed around the edges of your eyes.

You hated yourself.

“Can you tell me what is wrong?” Kyungsoo asked, he thought he fucked the things up so badly, he pushed you too much, he made you afraid of him.

“You didn’t like it.”

“Ha?”

That was the best shot he could give. You were embarrassed to death, but you forced yourself to make an explanation, you pointed the bralette you were wearing, Jesus, the only reason you purchased this type of underwear, was… Well. It was very obvious why you owned a couple of good undergarments.

And why you chose to bring them with you.

Kyungsoo followed the direction you were pointing to, his eyes widened, and he swallowed hardly. Were you an idiot? How could he manage to not like the view since he was waiting to see it since ages? Godfuckingdamnit, the view in front of his eyes was worth for all the years.

Then he really registered to the meaning.

You were anxious more than he thought, and you wanted to be praised by him. When he closed to his eyes, you got the wrong impression.

He concluded that you were an idiot, but he loved you more than anything for also being so clueless. Your reactions were priceless.

You felt Kyungsoo’s lips on your finger, then in your palm. Your eyes immediately opened.

“I love it.” he directly looked at your eyes with all the power in his gaze. You literally bit your lips in order to keep that fucking need of whining under your control. “Now, watch me.”

“For what?”

“I am going to show you,” his mouth watered after he took a really good look at your chest. “How much I love it.”

Your body tingled after his words; he did not miss a second and dipped his head onto the vault between your breasts. You could not help but wonder where in the hell Kyungsoo learned how to do these things and how he could be so fucking good at.

He hooked his thumb around the strap of your bralette and slide it down your shoulder, lifting his head and pressing his lips onto the new patch of skin. You were going ballistic when you felt his tongue, your hands searched anything to hold on for your dear life. Kyungsoo’s breath caught in his chest, he has been leaving soft kisses along the line between your neck and shoulder, his hand curved around your waist as he yanked your dress down and tugged it all the way down to your spine, granted himself the opportunity to easily take you out of that fucking dress. You tugged on his shirt, half of your face was submerged in the yellow dim lights, however the fact of your brain already went to mush was palpable.

Kyungsoo nod once, looked at you, and rubbed his hips against your core.

“Damn you, Soo.”

He chuckled when he heard your sweetest moan. He felt your quivery fingers found their ways around his hair, sneaked to his neck, while you were pressing his head onto your chest and giving him more opportunities to taste you. Shit, you were smelling so good, your skin was too soft, and your heart was drumming. Your bodies are pressed together, you were melting in each other, your thighs were wrapped around his hips, you were touching him, he was touching you.

There was no surprise he could not fucking breath.

As his eyes poured into yours, your stomach churned. You were throbbing for him; his hair was splayed between his head and the vault between your breasts, and you felt something which was coming into life in the very deep of you.

Something wet.

You did not experience it till now, but you listened a lot of stories from Baekhyun and Chanyeol. They assured you on one day you were going to need this information, so you knew what the fuck was happening to you.

You were soaking, clenching around nothing, and to your dismay, all he has done was kissing you. He was unravelling you slowly, and you were taking everything he was giving to you like you had been starving since years. When it came to experience, you were totally ignorant, but in the secrecy of your head, you knew that if he would want to slide himself inside of you right now, you were going to take him like a very good girl.

You closed your eyes, then you sensed a stingy feeling on your breast.

He bite the hardening bud of your breast as your eyes blown up.

“Oho.” his voice was fucking dominant and demanding, his eyebrows were knitted but he was glaring at you with the softest look you have ever seen in his eyes. “I said, watch me.”

Embarrassment?

It was already left the room out of the window as you lifted your head and concentrated on him.

Kyungsoo brought his face closer to your collarbone, remained exposed and placed a gentle kiss on the sternum, and did not neglect your clavicles. You wondered why he did not take the bralette off, or if he was going to do, however you were so messed up to think clearly. You were trying to solve the problem, if the increasing pace of your heart was about the arousal or stimulation, however when he nudged your nipple with his fingers, all questions immediately faded away. His fingers circled around it as he lifted his head to watch your reactions.

You thought that your eyes must be wholly black because your pupils expanded to their limits.

Then he made everything worse for you by bringing his mouth down on your breast over the fabric of your bralette, kissing along the soft tissue. Your gasps were so sharp, you cried out.

Kyungsoo fought against himself in order to behave and have his fucking manners while every nerve of his body beg him to take you right there, right now, as that bloody sweet sounds of you reached out to his ears. He never ever hear your moans, to be honest he was certain on that no one heard the noises you made, but he imagined it before.

God, it was too wrong maybe, but he imagined all of these before.

He made all of these and beyond with you in his mind, again and again.

To be honest, Kyungsoo’s mind always dangerously wandered around you. He reserved the vastest place of his mind just for you, for every version of you, from the best friend to the partner in crime, from a witty brat to a trustworthy companion, from a bashful girl to the most alluring woman. Generally, he just think about the days you were spending together, noticing something that you pointed out in the library, laughing for the lame jokes you made all the time, finding your notebook full of your shitty handwriting in his bag, or coming across to a note you took on his currently readings. Damn, Kyungsoo loved to read even your fucking gibberish. Or he just harkened back to the moments that you gave him handmade bento boxes for the lunch, even though he was cooking better than you or sitting next to him without saying anything. Laying down on the grass together or walking around the campus during nights. He just recalled the moments of your presence like all memories you had were pearls for him such as the times you were waiting him to be back in front of the dorms with an umbrella because of the sudden raining.

But sometimes, he was imagining you in your lewdest forms, while he always make you to feel fucking wonderful in those dreams. You just entangled in his thoughts with the moment you made a speech with sinfully deceptive red dress, or running to his open arms after summer break, whispering to his ear when you were watching a movie in theatre or he remembered that you came out of bathroom without noticing he was also in your flat, smelling so fucking good and the water splashes were dripping off your body, your widening eyes when you noticed his presence and immediately started to curse him, making him burst into laughs with your vocabulary, or the moments your hands clashed each other, or you were stretching your body like a cat… He immediately caught them, stored them his mind and then, when he was all by himself, hooking them in the sea of memories.

God, he painted many pictures of you in his thoughts.

He had been thinking about you a lot, how he could touch you if you would allow him.

That’s why he was so fucking damn good at it.

He knew everything about you, he had been watching you for his dear life. He was aware of how you should be touched. How you should be cared. How you should be loved. He knew that you were made of steel, but you were also made of cotton candies. When you allow someone to be with you, that bastard had to create a perfect balance between carefulness and coarseness.

You should be bend, not broken and Kyungsoo was fucking devoted to do it rightly.

He wanted nothing but hearing his own name like a chant from your mouth, he wondered how you would sound like when his name was the only thing you could say.

He took a look at you, and he thought you were ready for the next step. Hell, he was born ready for doing these to you. As an answer to the silent question in your mind as he could feel it, he slide the straps of your bralette and swiftly stripped you out of it. When your bare chest come to display, he lost his self-control, as he did not spend any single second to clamp down on your nipple, digging his hands into your sides.

He was sure of you started to leak between your thighs as the increasing heat was alarming him, as you could feel he was literally hard against you.

“Fuck…” you murmured, closing your eyes, then immediately opened them widely as you remembered his command about watching him. You knew that he had a strong will and self-control, you did not know how much you affected him, but you could not take any risk which could make him to stop. You had to watch him.

Kyungsoo kissed your nipples softly, his hands glided upwards and caressed your flesh, his touch was an equilibrium of gentleness and roughness, had your body squirming more than before, then he took your bud between his fingers, tweaked it and devilishly smiled to you. One of his hands cupped your breast, while the other moved downward, sneaking inside of your dress and his fingers softly brushed to your inner thighs.

Another moan ripped from your throat, to be honest you started to feel like an earthenware and Kyungsoo was your potter.

“Is this okey?” as he clearly intended to peel your dress off you, knowing what you were going to say, but still asking for permission. You were melted in his hands you were amazed by the fact that he was really taking good care of you. Despite of your lack of experience, you could understand the situation was really unbearable not only for you, but also for him as you could see his eyes, darkening and his jaw, clenching more and more by every second.

“More than okey.” you mumbled inside of your mouth, your answer caused a luminescent glow on his facial expression, he rolled the fabric above your head, Jesus, he badly wanted to rip you out of this fucking dress.

“I have to say,” he chased the unveiled skin with his lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to punch Sehun on the face.”

“W-why?” you tried to hold on your reasoning.

“This dress,” he grunted, threw your dress to the floor, and slithered himself throughout your body. “Is nothing but a sin.”

He gently bite your tummy, you wriggled inadequately, Kyungsoo found a new way to torture you, the whimpers fumbled past your lips reminded him how easy to tickle you.

He had never ever said he was a saint.

He held you between his arms, in his iron grip, then skimmed your belly with his nose, you wagged like a puppy tail as you tried to free yourself, your effort made him burst into laughs. You saved one of hands while he was laughing, punched his shoulders, he pinched your side as his response to your poor attack.

“Do not worry.” his smile was nothing but diabolical, and a sick part of you dangerously captivated by seeing that. “I am not going to leave you hanging.”

Godfuckingdamnit, you were not sure what he actually meant, but you were dying to learn.

Was it really terrible of you to think all of these made him yours? Could you really endure it if he would have these moments with someone else? Could you bare it if someone else got to see his eyes, glittering with ardour, love, and care?

You could not.

Your fingers desperately tugged onto his brown hair, you wanted to believe that if you held him strongly, no one could take him from you. The only thing you had to do was clutching him with all your power.

Kyungsoo looked at your eyes, your gaze was dissolving him as you were carefully watching even the tiniest move he made, he could see his own reflection in your pupils.

Wasn’t it enough to mark you as his girl?

You were standing in front of him, with only your panties, dark navy panties, what the heck you were wearing Goddamnit?!

His heart spasmed.

“You are going to be death of me.” he spilled the beans as he looked at the parts of your body where no one see before him. Well, you were embarrassed, it was tangible from the crimson red tone, which was spreading all over your face and chest, however at the same time, you enjoyed seeing his broadened eyes and he became slack-jawed as he wandered his fingers over the panties.

Well, he was not only one who became slack- jawed!

And you begun to notice that you were too compliant. Maybe you could not play this game with the rules, but you wanted to see him as he was perceiving you. Before Kyungsoo could make his next move, you held the hem of his shirt.

“Is this okey?” you echoed his persistent question, raising one eyebrow. His jawbone was tightening, but he did not say anything, the sudden silence was enough to let you hear his gulp and to see his Adam’s apple bobbled. He lifted his arms to help your sloppy hands.

“Take it off if you want.” he said between his teeth. You happily engaged in the task, in a second, his t-shirt joined to your dress on the floor. This was your first time to see his bare chest, Kyungsoo felt a little bit shaky to be honest when you literally examined his upper body with your eyes.

Actually, you were fucking him with your eyes.

“Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah?”

“You are really so pretty.”

“Oho!” his ears turned to red, but he felt like he was over the moon after your very simple words. You were definitely amazed by his beauty as you licked your lips unconsciously. “Shut up, you filthy woman.”

“You were licking my breast, Jesus Christ,” you hissed. “And I am the one who is filthy?!”

“Your comparison is shitty.” he gave you a feverish kiss. “I am worse than you.”

“Ah, that makes everything clear.” you nod, as he followed the direction in his mind with his lips that are fucking velvety, soft, and warm. He grabbed your leg, bending it at the knee and placing your ankle on his shoulder.

What the fuck he was aiming to do?

You remembered what Baekhyun told you during a night that he was drunk and out of his mind, you were immediately panicked but Kyungsoo sensed it. Well, he wanted nothing but pressing his mouth on your cunt, however he knew that it was too early for taking that step.

He did not want you to be freaking out.

“Calm down.” he smiled at you. “I told you we are not going to do anything you do not want.”

He kissed your Achilles and peppered kisses along your calf, he had you go fucking ballistic. You were not sure if you were panicking anymore or not, the heat between your thighs became a literal suffer, and your heart was ready to burst, you could feel there were knots tightening with every second in your stomach.

This bastard was going to make you cry, if he was not going to give you any type of relief.

“Kyungsoo,” your sound was desperate and vulnerable. Finally, he got his name as a fucking moan from you, he learned how it would be, the way of your lips chanting his name over and over again. He could see your panties ruined, you made a mess over there, and to be honest, Kyungsoo never felt so proud in his life like he has been feeling tonight.

You were needy, and all his.

He leaned forward and kissed along your inner thighs, your grip on his hair tightened, he almost laugh with sheer joy.

“It is really cute.” he could not help but teased you. “I mean how wet you are already, even though I just get started.”

“Damn you.”

“If I were you,” he dragged his tongue through the crease, where your thigh met your pelvis. “I would not curse me.”

You bit your tongue to suppress your cry, your fingers weakened, and your legs were twitching.

“I…” you tried to come up with something classy, but Kyungsoo kissed you.

Over there.

“Please!” you cried with the power of your lungs allowed you.

He wanted to give. He wanted to give everything you could ask for. He wanted to follow your instructions, your reactions, and goddamn, it was really so hard for him, he was fighting himself from the beginning, fighting with the utter and absolute need of having you. Your breathing, that sinful noise of you, the violent shudder of your body, all of them was burned into his head, the image of you carved into his eyelids and he was fucking sure you would hunt him for the rest of his life.

He dragged his index finger along your folds, quickly gliding over the wetness and tapped on your clit with the tip of his finger. A bare touch, nothing more nothing less but he had you, you grabbed his wrist, looking at him with big-doe eyes with tears on the edges. Kyungsoo pulled his hand away from your cunt but storing the reaction you gave to his feathery touch.

It was easy to see you wanted him to continue but you were also terrified by the speed.

He tempted to completely pull away, he could not help but feared if he pushed you so hard, enough to make you hate his touch, or him. Kyungsoo’s head was spinning as you were still holding his wrist and panting like his touch burned you.

Actually, it did. Behind every kiss, every touch, everything he did to you, there were his thoughts he never vocalize, not only his lust for you but his love and care for you. That’s why his touches were permanent, they were going to stay on your skin for the rest of your life.

“Do you trust me?” he whispered.

Trust him?

You could laugh, if you were not extremely turned on by him, but there was no capacity in your power storage to do it. Kyungsoo should already know the fact that he was the one and only person you trust unconditionally and irrevocably.

You took his hand and brought it back to yourself, where his fingers brushed over your nipple. Your hands were shaking to death, but Kyungsoo understood what you wanted to show him. You were not going to know how much your answer reassured him.

“Good.”

Damn you and your fucking spells on him, damn you for being the prettiest in his eyes.

He could feel himself soaking through his pants while your leg was still hooked over his shoulder, his hands wandered up to your sides, brushing over your ribs and stomach. He dipped his head again on your tummy and he sprinkled feathery kisses, switching from one side to other side until your brain melted out of your ears, and the only thing you could understand was his lips, memorizing every curve, every line and mark on your skin. His breathes tickled you, you were desperate enough, your instincts were telling you that you had to relieve yourself, you had to find a way, your fingers wandered over to your panties, however Kyungsoo was too fast to notice your every move.

“I do not presume you tried to do this before.” he caught your naughty fingers. “Tell me the truth. Have you ever tried to touch yourself?”

“Oh, fuck off!” you preferred to die instead of answering his question. You could feel the heat on your cheeks, the only thing he had to do was taking a look at your face, and he did that. One look at you was enough to inform him.

He was going to never ever tell you this, but he was more than shocked when he understood you also did not touch yourself before.

“You cannot be serious…” you heard his shocked voice, you covered your face with your hands, he had to take them off your face.

“Isn’t it more precious now?” he pressed your hands on the mattress. “You have really made a mess of yourself without knowing a single thing.”

“Shut your damn mouth.” you were panting, embarrassed to death, but his gaze settled on you, he was really damn hard had him on the verge of shifting against the bed, he had to repress his own moans.

“I do not think so.” a shiver ran down your spine as his rich baritone filled your ears.

“You cannot say that!” you refused his words, trying to refill the air in your lungs.

“Does it turn you on,” he whispered to your ear. “Hearing me state the facts?”

You attempted to kick him, he laughed and grabbed your foot. Then, he pressed his lips to your swollen folds over the fabric of your panties, damn, your thighs clenched around his body. He continued to hold your wrists as your hips jerked beneath his mouth, had you growling from the back of your throat. He was driving you fucking insane.

“You wanted me to teach you.” he lifted his head, enough to make an eye contact with you. “This was how someone should touch you. You have to want relief desperately before their mouth land anywhere near here, they have to touch every inch of your skin, they have to unravel you.”

You were dripping after every word he said, you were registering to every sound he made, you were soaking and aching, your heart was beating against your ribs with a force you could not endure.

“However,” he slide your panties, enough to create a space for himself. “You do not have to think about others, because I do not intend to let you go.”

How could you describe your feelings when you heard those words? How could you tell him you could not stand it if anyone else would do the things he had been doing right now to you? You knew that you could not hand yourself over to anybody but Kyungsoo.

“Unless you want me to let you go.” He released your wrists, you immediately reached to his face, caressing his cheeks, your fingertips stroked his cheekbones.

“I do not think so.” you gave the same answer he gave you just a couple of minutes ago. “If it happens, it happens, but I am not going to seek anyone else.”

Your answer made him want to cry.

He swallowed hard, partially satisfied with your response, damn he would prefer to hear a certain answer without an open door, but he leaned into your touch before he pressed his lips in your palm.

“Good.” he guided your hands into his brown tuffs. “Now, I will say it again, but this is the last one. Tell me to stop if you do not like what I am going to do. You do not need to think if I will be offended or not, I will not.”

Your mouth watered in anticipation, you hummed.

“Words.” he bite your finger.

“Goddamnit, okey!” your eyebrows knitted together with unsatisfaction, but Kyungsoo knew that you were happy at the moment.

And Kyungsoo needed you to be happy as he was fucking tempted to turn you fucking stupid. He wanted to hear your voice, he wanted to give you reasons to imagine everything he could do to you, and he could let you to do him.

He wanted you to cry his name like a carol, until his name would be the only think you could say.

He knew that how he could make you feel good quickly, but he was not an idiot. To be honest, you were more than ready to cum, a few licks and strokes on the right places would finish you. However, Kyungsoo was not ready to let you, not before he could be certain you were going to always come back to him, not before the memories were eternally burned into his head, not before he could engrave his love into your heart, mind, and body.

He circled his tongue around your clit, very carefully. Every lick was fucking calculated, he wanted to hang you just there as he watched your face between your thighs, as he listened your blabbers. Seeing you like this was literally and figuratively so hard for him, however he had no intention to lose his chance with you.

He wanted you for himself. For the rest of his life. Even though he wanted nothing, but take you immediately, he could behave better.

“Goddamnit, please…” you whimpered like you were on the verge of crying. “I.. I want…”

“You want?” he mumbled, blown to your clit and teasing you with his tongue.

His thumb knocked against your bud, neglecting the spot where you craved for him, he just brushed your folds and bud lightly, you had been becoming louder. It was like a circle of pleasure and torture, you were squirming, clenching, and burning.

“Do you want to cum?” he asked fucking bluntly. You never think that Kyungsoo could be shameless like this, devilish at this level, logically you disliked his sudden cockiness but a really sick side of you, the side in the driver seat, found the wicked version of Kyungsoo fucking hot.

You nod your head at a rapid pace, making him chuckled.

“No baby girl.” he turned and hovered over your clit, securing your legs over his shoulder. “Not yet.”

You groaned with a sudden anger, but he shut your voice by sucking your swollen bud, he was growling inside of him when he felt your toes curled, he could not help but he was also grinding his hips into the mattress, your moans were stimulating him so fucking bad. His fingernails dig into your hips, as he held you in your place, but he started to moan too. Every vibration went straight to your clit.

You could not think.

You could not speak.

You have been dragged into a place of euphoria where you had no idea of its presence, however Kyungsoo fed your veins with nothing but pure pleasure. You could feel that the knot in your stomach has been tightening and heating, you were so close to your first orgasm. You could feel it. You could almost name it.

Kyungsoo let you go.

He pulled his mouth off your cunt entirely and lifted his head.

He trapped you on the edge of your fucking first orgasm of your entire life.

“Why?!” you panted, panicking, and looking at him, searching for any possible reason of this sudden cruelty. His face was burning too, his eyes were never blackened before, however your frustration was fucking obvious. “Why d-”

“You are not ready to cum yet.” he cut your plea off, his hands moved from your hips up to your waist.

“Soo, please…” you could not help but whimpered with irritation. Your voice was so bitter, even though you called him as Soo.

“You will.” he kissed your lips gently, carefully destroying everything you felt in your stomach. “When I let you.”

You could be burn, turn into the ashes in the blink of an eye, on this fucking bed, and could he still talk with fucking future tenses?!

You bite his upper lip, enough to irk him to let him know about how much annoyed you were. The corners of his lips went up, he dragged you towards himself and literally manhandled you over his lap, making you to straddle him.

Your eyes widened to their extend as you could feel every part of Kyungsoo while he supported his back with the pillows, while leaning on them.

You. could. feel. every. fucking. move. on. your. lady. parts.

You groaned, a mix of frustration and excitement.

Kyungsoo held your hips and making you grin onto his lap.

“Better, right?” he brushed his nose to yours.

Your lips parted and formed around a silent O-shape; your hands locked on his neck. He pressed on your hips, enough to make you move in a row, but very slow. You started to feel the knot in your stomach again, however, Kyungsoo was fucking slow, and he did not let you to move with your own pace.

Kyungsoo was almost losing his fucking sanity with every friction you cause while you were grinding on top of him. He knew that he had to slow you, otherwise, he was going to not survive. Your taste was still on his tongue, your voice was still on his ears, he could not survive.

“Kyungsoo, please.” you lost the count, you even did not remember how many times you whimpered, you moaned, you asked him to finish his torture. He was keeping you inside this insatiable mix of delight and exasperation, he was insisting to keep you on the edge.

“You can.” your face lit up after his words, but he quickly continued. “Only if can tell me how you should be touched.”

He added more pressure to your hips, wanting to highlight the importance of his words, and making your moves a little bit faster. The stars were dancing in front of your eyes, and he slipped his hand inside of your panties, adding more pressure to your clit.

“Come on, do you want to stay here for all night?”

Kyungsoo wanted to hear what your learned tonight from your mouth even more than relieving himself. His throbbing cock was not an issue to compare with your observations.

He wanted to learn if he could carve his image into your head or not.

And this was his one and only chance. He could not be sure if you were going to let him to do all of these again, even though he said that he never let you go.

He had to know.

“Because I can easily hold you here for the rest of your life.”

You shivered, but you felt like he really could hold you on the edge forever, and you were already a mess.

You gave the only answer you could give.

Very bottom of your heart.

As plain as fuck.

“You have to touch me.” you whispered.

Kyungsoo just looked at you, he was frozen after your answer.

“You are the only one I want.” you were plain as fuck. “I learned that I should be touched by you.”

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sofijaeger · 4 years ago

Note

whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?

Eeeek!! i was so excited to answer this because i have so many moots and authors I follow who are INSANELY talented!! These accounts are not only my favorites to read from, but my favorite to interact with because these authors are some of the kindest, most welcoming people I know.

If you see your account and would liked to be removed, let me know immediately!!

some of these authors do interact and write mature and dark content, please oblige to their rules! This is mainly the reason i’m not recommending specific fics unless they don’t involve many adult themes.

@plutowrites (sfw only)

~ such a sweetheart oml- although I do enjoy reading mature fics, I always come back to reread this girlies work. It’s difficult finding all sfw accounts on here now, so getting to read from another author like myself is so warming to me. Her writing just makes you feel so good!

@junisfics

~ i think we’re all aware of the power this queen holds. Her writing is magnificent in grasping readers from just a few words, not to mention her own personality makes EVERYONE feel their best. She displays some of the most well-thought out plots i’ve ever seen. I’m obsessed with your work what can I say🤷🏻‍♀️

@bellbee

~ oh i just love her work so much. I always enjoy authors who put so much care into scenarios aside from actual stories. Be just writes so realistically and fun, you can practically picture yourself in the moment with each character. I definitely need to get closer with her, and you should too!

@eremiie

~ FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, GODLY, WOW. I need to binge Charm’s works all over again because they never get old or boring. The total amount of pieces shes written is insane, and each one holds so much affection and intimacy behind it. She writes just about everything, and i’ve fallen in love with her characterization of characters because she stays true to their canon selves while adding her own personal flair. Don’t think i’m not mad at you still after a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be. That shit hurt

@radicalxgirrl

~ DUDE JO’S BLURBS? SHEEEEESH. I hope she knows how much I love her drabbles because I truly adore them. To convey so much meaning and emotions within such few words makes her writing overwhelming in the best way possible. It is a godly talent and it’s amazing. I’m just dying for her to turn “all he can do is wait” into a fic because i’m ready to annotate the shit out of it.

@fiaficsxo

~ UGH MY BESTIE. I started off as her follower and am so thankful to be her moot now. Besides how absolutely amazing she is, she’s got the best Jean fics and headcanons i’ve ever read!! Seriously, Eren’s my favorite but sometimes...I actually reconsider😳🤫 Fia will ALWAYS be here for you when your down, she’s so lovable.

@emeren

~ the things i’ve got to say about miss gurl- I FUCKING LOVE HER. I remember reading “soft touches” and fell in love with the way she takes each sight and thought into detail, i’m a sucker for details can’t ya tell🤗 But it shows so strongly in her writing and it truly gets you hooked in seconds. So much love for you bb<3

@kirsteiiins

~ i frickin love this girl UGH. What i really enjoy about her works is the dialogue!! Naya is such an open and sociable person from how she treats us so well, so she really understands conversation between characters. Besides her outstanding work she gives all of her followers and anons so much love, even allowing a day where we can request what we’d like! How wonderful is that🥺

@erenstellar

~ geez... WHEW. I hope this makes sense, but her writing is so inviting in the most suggestive ways, I LOVE IT, and you can clearly see the effort in all of her works. Each character has such a detailed mind and thought process, just getting a glimpse into their point of view is fascinating. I’m also gonna add you’ll always get a seggsy response from this one, I can never get enough of Jeida.

@peachy-momos

~ We’re newer moots but BUN IS PRECIOUSS i wish we’d become friends sooner. Her fics where she adds just a bit of historical fiction are my favorites!! Like ErosEren? or PirateZeke? GAHH SO SO GOOD. Just everything about her, from the support she gives to every special touch in her works, you can’t NOT love her.

@mecries (og: @deityheaded-deactivated20210425)

~ THEY GAVE ME THE CORRECT ACCOUNT YAYY. The absolute sweetest soft!eren drabbles and the SEGGSIEST ONES TOO UGH, and the best part is their personality really shows through their fics... because i’ve never met someone so kind and hot at the same time😭 I need to binge their works just as much as you all do, they deserve so much recognition!!

and those aren’t even half the accounts I know from tumblr, i know i’m forgetting so many wonderful people!

and pshhhh u could also check out Pinehurst if you haven’t already 😉 i’m not as good as these guys though lol

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heyiwrotesomethings · 4 years ago

Text

Lepidopterophobia Prt. Two

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: People seemed to like that oneshot so I made a part two! Here is a link to part one if you want a refresher or something (Link). Word Count: ~11,329 (Again, holy shit. I do not know how I wrote so much. I blame the demon encounter that I forced myself to put in this fic and the totally unnecessary OC interaction lol) Hope you enjoy!

Shinobu was getting worried now. It may have been hiding behind sweet smiles and teasing words, but the worry was there nevertheless, churning deep within her like an undercurrent of a seemingly calm ocean cost.

She and (Y/n) had made it a habit to write each other at least once a week since they met about six months ago.

Such letters always made Shinobu feel extremely happy and giddy. Even the estate residents could determine when a letter came simply based on body language alone, although the melodic humming also helped on that front.

Giyuu had even witnessed the change first hand by chance one day and he admitted that it was the freakiest thing he had ever experienced. Especially when she walked past him and actually gave him a compliment before continuing to hum and glide down the hall. Giyuu did not know how to conduct himself in this Shinobu’s presence.

However this week was different, Mochi had not arrived, there was no letter. Shinobu quelled the initial disappointment and anxiety. Surely (Y/n) just had a tiring mission and fell asleep while drafting her message. It wouldn’t have been the first time after all. But when the second week was nearing its end, Shinobu was starting to crack.

She was admittedly a bit unfocused. Her honey sweet tone was still there, but her speech was sharp and clipped. She spent more time in her lab doing research well into the early hours of the morning, becoming more unkempt as another new dawn brought no news.

Aoi made sure Shinobu would eat. She also made it clear that the Hashira needed to be taking better care of herself in general as the young woman sulked her way into the infirmary.

“You’re worrying the younger girls because you look like you’ll collapse at any second and Kanao might not say it, but you’re worrying her too. You’re causing us all distress,” Aoi had told her, not pulling any punches. “(Y/n)-san would not be happy to see you like this.”

“Well, she isn’t here now, is she? She hasn’t been here since her first visit. Why should I care what makes her happy?” Shinobu’s seraphic voice laced with poison replied, an insincere smile painting her lips.

Aoi scoffed and rolled her eyes. “If only I knew, Shinobu-sama. I don’t quite understand you’re attraction to her myself. Maybe you should try writing her again.”

“I’ve already sent two letters. I’m not so desperate for attention to try for a third,” Shinobu responded rigidly. “My crow has always come back empty handed so I know someone is getting my messages. What more is there to do?”

“Didn’t she say in her last letter that demon attacks were becoming more frequent in her sector? Just give her some time. She isn’t that big of an idiot to ignore you on purpose.”

“I’m growing tired of this conversation, Aoi,” Shinobu sighed. “I’ll be going to the lab and I do not wish to be disturbed.”

“As you wish, Shinobu-sama. I’ll send someone over with your dinner later though, and you better eat it.” Aoi replied as Shinobu walked out.

Kanao came to stand by Aoi’s side and flipped her coin, heads. “I have not seen Shinobu-neesan seem so visibly upset in a long time.”

“Yes, she must really like (Y/n)-san a lot, huh?” Aoi frowned, making another bed.

Kanao flipped her coin again, but remained silent this time around.

“Well, that idiot better respond soon. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

***

Shinobu drowned herself in her research well into the night. Balancing equations, messing with beakers and microscopes and reading copious amounts of botany and organic chemistry texts. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn’t notice the faint tapping at the door that led out onto the engawa from her lab.

The tapping persisted almost frantically as Shinobu inked down some notes until a loud squawking caused her hand to jerk across the parchment and ruin her page. She almost didn’t care though, she leapt from her chair and slid the door open with enough speed for it to clack against the stopper hard enough to echo across the garden.

She beckoned the familiar raven to take perch on her arm, cooing and lightly stroking the feathered breast of the large bird with a sincere smile and hopeful eyes.

“Good evening Mochi,” she cooed softly. “What have you and (Y/n) been up to these past few weeks?”

“(Y/n), (Y/n)!” The bird mimicked, enjoying the head scritches Shinobu was supplying him. He held a leg out toward Shinobu and she deftly untied the parchment from his leg.

“Thank you for this, rest here for awhile. I’m sure my crow wouldn’t mind sharing some snacks with you.”

Mochi cawed excitedly, flapping his way into the corner with Shinobu’s crow who seemed a bit miffed by the disturbance, but ultimately did not mind the presence of the larger bird she had come to know over the last few months.

Shinobu sat back in her writing desk and unfurled the parchment with a slight tremor running through her hands. As she began to read through the letter, concern laced through her features. (Y/n)’s tone was there. The words came off like hers, but the handwriting was unfamiliar, completely off. Each character was shaky, and stray ink splattered the parchment throughout the letter. There was no way (Y/n) actually wrote this.

The suspicious letter contained an apology for tardiness that was spun in a way that made it rather humorous and light without downplaying the seriousness of the apology, a skill Shinobu only knew (Y/n) to have mastered so well. The message continued on to talk about the high number of demons still running rampant in the area and addressed points made in Shinobu’s previous letters, but she still couldn’t get over the hand writing, it just didn’t sit right with her.

“Mochi, did (Y/n) write this?” Shinobu asked, knowing she was asking a lot of the bird to actually try to hold a conversation in a human language.

“No write, can’t write,” the bird croaked while happily eating some berries.

“Why can’t she write?” Shinobu asked, her brow wrinkled with concern.

“Forgot, can’t say, not supposed to,” the raven replied nervously.

“Mochi, what happened, is she hurt?”

Mochi shifted uncomfortably. “Healing, will be okay. Resting.”

“Is that why she didn’t reply sooner, she got hurt?” Shinobu was mostly just saying that to herself as she began eyeing one of her medicine cabinets intently. She walked over to it and opened the cabinet doors now going into full-on healer mode. “She hasn’t said anything in two weeks so it must be serious,” she turned back to the raven who jumped at the intensity of Shinobu’s gaze and attempted to hide behind the much smaller crow. “Tell me what happened Mochi. I need to know what I must bring.”

“Bring?”

“Yes, now how bad she Mochi, please focus.”

“Arms broken. Head hurts. Feverish. I worry, but she says fine.”

“Fine she says, I’ll show her fine,” Shinobu muttered as she packed the necessary materials, a vein protruding angrily from her forehead. “I need to grab some other supplies from the infirmary, don’t move a muscle.” she commanded before practically teleporting out of the lab.

Shinobu grabbed additional medicines and medical supplies, rustling about the cabinets like a tornado until Kanao came in with an inquisitive sheen to her eyes.

Still unnoticed by her adoptive sister, Kanao flipped her coin and only when she was sure of the result, she spoke.

“Nee-san, are you going somewhere?”

“Oh, Kanao,” Shinobu spun around, “I’m glad you’re still up. I’m going on a mission for a few days, maybe longer. Take care of things while I’m gone please.”

Kanao stared blankly for a moment before flipping her coin once more. Looking back up at Shinobu she asked, “Is this about (Y/n)-san?”

Shinobu faltered in her movements slightly, almost undetectable, but not to Kanao’s sharp eyes.

“How could you tell?” Shinobu smiled almost sheepishly, a faint dusting of pink coloring her cheeks. A sign she knew she had been caught.

“You never bring that much medical supplies on missions for simple demon slaying,” Kanao stated plainly. “I know you have been worried about (Y/n)-san lately. Aoi said it was only a matter of time before you took matters into your own hands.”

“I can’t get much past my smart and observant girls, can I?” Shinobu gave her usual default smile, though it looked a bit more prideful than usual. She closed up the final cabinet and secured her medicinal bag over her shoulder. When she approached Kanao she squeezed her shoulders affectionately. “Look out for each other, make sure Naho, Sumi, and Kiyo keep up with their studies as well. I’ll try to be back in two days tops, but it may take longer if (Y/n) insists on being difficult. Goodbye for now, my little sister,” Shinobu released Kanao and waited patiently as the girl looked at the coin in her hand.

“Bye Nee-san, be safe,” Kanao said after a moment. Shinobu’s smile grew especially warm when Kanao had decided to speak on her own without the aid of the coin. With one last nod, Shinobu left the infirmary with a new energy about her.

***

Shinobu ran through the trees until dawn, following after Mochi as he flew above. As much as she wanted to get there as soon as possible, the many sleepless nights over the past two weeks had taken a toll on Shinobu’s physical state. She admonished herself for being so careless. How could she take care of (Y/n) if she couldn’t even take care of herself? She called for Mochi to stop for a moment and the unusual duo took roost on one of the trees thick and gnarled branches.

“How much further?” Shinobu asked, trying to disguise a yawn hidden behind a small hand.

“Be there by midday if rest short,” the bird replied.

Shinobu nodded, drinking a bit of water and stretching before resigning herself to continue on despite her muscles’ protests.

When the sun was at its highest and hottest was when Shinobu saw the weathered home Mochi was circling over. On closer inspection she recognized the insignia of the Wisteria Houses and she couldn’t help but quietly scoff to herself.

“Oh? Hello young lady, how may I help you?”

Shinobu turned and found herself looking down at a frail old woman who was even smaller than her. Realizing she had been staring, Shinobu began to answer the patient woman.

“Good afternoon, I believe you are currently looking over the demon slayer (Y/n), is that correct?”

“(Y/n)-chan? Ah yes, poor girl. She had a rough mission awhile back, she’s lucky she was with a team that night or I’m not sure she would have made it. She’s resting now I believe, but please do come in,” the old woman replied with the sweet raspiness of someone who has lived a full life and turned back towards the house, her hands trembling as she pushed the door open. She ushered Shinobu into a chair and fixed some tea for the exhausted Hashira who graciously accepted the cup.

“It is a rare honor to have a Hashira in my home, may I ask what brings you here?”

“I’m here for (Y/n),” Shinobu answered, assuming that the old woman had simply forgotten already due to her age.

“Yes, is she training under you, a Tsuguko perhaps?”

“Ah, no. She isn’t training under me,” Shinobu denied.

“I apologize, I suppose I just don’t understand then, why a Pillar of the demon slayers is taking time out of her surely busy schedule to tend to a slayer of a lower level who isn’t even under her instruction.” the old woman questioned.

“I’m afraid that is none of your concern.” Shinobu answered with a tight lipped smile. Perhaps this old woman wasn’t as senile as she had previously believed.

“I’m sorry deary, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It’s just that I saw you hopping after (Y/n)-chan’s raven and I thought you may have been the recipient of her sweetly composed letter. She asked me to write it for her you see. She had been fretting over what to say for days the poor thing,” the old woman tutted, raising her own teacup to her lips with a shaky grip.

“I see,” Shinobu nodded. “You are correct though, the letter was for me. That is how I knew that I should come.”

“That’s wonderful, Insect Hashira.” the old woman smiled.

“Hisa-san?”

Shinobu turned expectantly in the direction of the voice she hadn’t heard in months, unaware of the knowing smile the old woman was directing at her.

“Well, come with me young lady. The patient is in no shape to leave her bed,” Hisa explained motioning fo Shinobu to follow her down the hallway. Hisa approached another door and gave it a courtesy knock before sliding the door open.

“Hello (Y/n)-chan, how nice of you to join the world of the living again and look who’s here to visit you...”

Hisa made room for Shinobu to enter the room and the Hashira could feel butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she stepped forward.

“Shinobu!” (Y/n)’s eyes gleamed. She tried to sit up, but Shinobu glided over and pushed her back on the futon.

“Hello (Y/n), we have a lot to talk about,” Shinobu said with a smile, however the dark aura did not go unnoticed by (Y/n) as the heavily bandaged girl shifted her eyes nervously to another corner of the room.

“I’ll give you two some space. Have fun with your girlfriend, (Y/n)-chan,” Hisa waved before shutting the door behind her.

“Sh- We’re not- She’s not my girlfriend!” (Y/n) called back, clearly flustered.

“Oh my (Y/n), have you been embellishing the nature of our relationship?” Shinobu gasped, hiding a teasing smile behind her hand, feigning shock.

“No, of course not!” (Y/n) shook her head, trying to look anywhere that wasn’t Shinobu. She shook her head a bit too furiously, causing her to wince and groan.

Shinobu’s face turned serious as she inspected the bandages wrapped around (Y/n)’s head. Her arms were also tightly bound, slings kept the arms crossed firmly over (Y/n)’s stomach. Shinobu pushed (Y/n)’s hair away from her forehead to get a better look at the blood stained bandage. “When was the last time, Hisa-san was it? When was the last time she changed these bandages?”

“Um, maybe yesterday I think? I’ve been kind of out of it so I’m not totally sure.”

“Someone needs to hold these wisteria locations to higher standards if we really expect anyone to survive in their care,” Shinobu tisked, noting how the loose bandages easily came undone in her fingers.

“Hisa-san does her best, she’s really good honestly, we’ve just been dealing with a lot of demons lately so supplies are thin and more demon slayers have been coming and going than usual,” (Y/n) defended, taking a sharp intake of air when Shinobu’s fingers examined her head wound.

“I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it... This may sting a bit,”

(Y/n) hissed as Shinobu dabbed the head wound with a cold, wet cloth. Washing off the dried blood that was caked there so she could better see the wound. It was more like a large scrape, not a gaping wound as Shinobu had initially feared. “So, care to tell me how this all happened since you neglected to mention it in your letter?”

“Um,” (Y/n) paused to clear her throat, “I’ll try but it’s all kind of fuzzy in my mind.”

“Take your time,” Shinobu encouraged, replacing the bandage on (Y/n)’s head.

“Well, I was with an improvised squad, which isn’t uncommon, but this one guy was not having it,” (Y/n) sighed. “He was acting high and mighty all night. Talking about how the rest of us were slowing him down and just being an arrogant jerk.” (Y/n) recalled, an annoyed look upon her face.

“And how exactly is this leading up to how this all happened?” Shinobu smiled, moving to (Y/n)’s arms to get a proper look at the damage there.

“Oh trust me, he’s a major player in this mess,” (Y/n) huffed. “So anyway, we were tracking this demon, right? We followed its tracks to a cave in the side of the mountain range near a village and turns out there was a whole bunch of them in there—AGH!” (Y/n) jolted, a sharp pain caused by Shinobu yanking her left arm hard and fast, making it crack loudly. “Why the fuck did you do that!?” (Y/n) wheezed.

“Your arm wasn’t properly set. It may push your healing back a bit, but at least when your arm heals it will be in the proper position,” Shinobu explained, now moving her attention to the other arm. “Please continue your story.”

“Alright then,” (Y/n) grumbled, still feeling the bone throb under her skin, “So there was a bunch of them in the cave that came out to attack us and we were outnumbered, but they were relatively low level so it shouldn’t have been a problem. Then that arrogant jerk began using breathing techniques without any regard for the rest of us. He was using stone breathing I’m pretty sure, just one technique after the other and he caused a rockslide!” (Y/n) turned away from Shinobu and had a brief coughing fit from getting so worked up.

“Here, drink this,” Shinobu paused her re-wrapping of (Y/n)’s arms to hold a waterskin of medicated water to (Y/n)’s lips and the slayer graciously accepted, downing almost half the bag.

“Thanks,” (Y/n) sighed.

“You’re welcome,” came Shinobu’s sweet reply.

“So we were having to dodge boulders and fight the demons at the same time. One girl got her ankle slashed, ripped right through her tendon and she couldn’t get out of the way of the rockslide so I was trying to carry her away from the battle zone, but then that idiot got thrown in my direction and had the audacity to use the back of my head as a goddamn springboard to fling himself back into battle and I lost balance and fell forward face first into the dirt. The girl flew out of my arms and rolled a few yards and my arms were out in front of me. Before I could move, a boulder came in and crushed my arms,” (Y/n) explained, looking down at her newly wrapped arms.

“I think I would like to have a word or two with this slayer, is he still in this sector?” Shinobu asked calmly, a dark aura contrasting her tone.

“He is, but I’m afraid he wouldn’t be able to hear what you have to say, he was killed in the battle,” (Y/n) explained. “I didn’t see it, but that’s what Watanabe-san and I were told once we were brought back to safety,”

“Watanabe-san?”

“Oh, she was the slayer with the slashed tendon. We’ve been teamed up a few times in the past. She came here for medical attention but she had family nearby so she’s resting there.”

“She must have be grateful for your help that night, even if you ended up hurt as well, I’m sure she appreciated the effort,” Shinobu smiled as she finished whipping up a tonic for (Y/n)’s aching bones.

“She did, she offered for me to come with her to her uncle’s house but I told her I’d be fine here. I didn’t want to over burden her family.”

“You should have accepted, this place is kind of a dump,” Shinobu whispered with a conspiratorial smirk.

“Shinobu, that’s so rude!” (Y/n) whisper-yelled back at the mischievously smiling Pillar.

“Drink this, you’ll need to build up your strength before we can leave,” Shinobu commanded, pressing the lip of the cup to (Y/n)’s own.

(Y/n) nearly choked on the bitter medicine as Shinobu poured the contents down her throat. She shivered and made a disgusted noise when she finished chugging the mixture.

“That was terrible,” she wheezed, resting her head back down on the pillow.

“Don’t say that (Y/n), you’re hurting my feelings,” Shinobu mocked distress, “I worked so hard to make that for you after all.”

“I’m sorry, did I say terrible? I meant... tolerable, terrific! Thank you for helping me!” (Y/n) fretted, falling for Shinobu’s false grief.

“I’ll forgive you if you come quietly when it’s safe to move you,” she smiled, resting her palms on her knees.

“You keep saying we’re going somewhere. Where are we going? I’m not exactly in fighting shape at the moment,” (Y/n) lifted her slung and bandaged arms off of her stomach for emphasis.

“You’ll continue your recovery back at my estate of course. Did you really think I was going to leave you in this squalor?”

“I really wish you would stop insulting this place, Hisa-san works super hard and she is crazy fast and quiet so she could be anywhere!” (Y/n) shifted her eyes around the room before returning her gaze to Shinobu who seemed unbothered by the information. “I’m fine here, really. You don’t need to worry about me when you probably have more important things to do.”

“Are you questioning my discretion as a Hashira?” Shinobu’s smile grew, but failed to reach her eyes as she peered down at the slayer as if challenging her to speak against her plan again.

“No! Not at all, I just-“

“Great, we’ll leave tomorrow depending on your condition!” Shinobu clapped.

“But, the... the butterflies,” (Y/n) whispered, almost as if just speaking of them would be taken as an invitation to appear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to protect you in your vulnerable state,” Shinobu smiled more kindly, “Who knows, perhaps we could add exposure therapy to your rehabilitation training.”

“Please don’t,” (Y/n) pleaded.

“I still don’t understand why you dislike butterflies so much. Surely when given the option to fight alone against a demon moon or be in the same room as a butterfly you would pick the latter,” Shinobu cocked her head at (Y/n) who seemed to genuinely be mulling it over and the sight exasperated Shinobu. “Really, (Y/n)? Do you really need to think about it?”

“They just freak me out, okay!” (Y/n) shrugged the best she could, “They flutter around and I can never tell where they’re going! They have those long, skinny legs and creepy eyes and weird curly tongue things it’s just— ugh!” She shuddered.

Shinobu couldn’t help but laugh, making (Y/n) pout and narrow her eyes at her. Even as the tinkling laughter died down Shinobu’s soft expression remained and she allowed herself to smooth over (Y/n)’s hair before gently running a cold knuckle over the bruised skin of the girl’s cheek.

“I’ve missed your antics.” Shinobu sighed, her seraphic voice betraying how tired she was as the small statement slurred together ever so slightly.

“You seem tired, have you been sleeping well?” (Y/n) asked while basking in the attentions of the cool, calloused touch.

“You know how our work goes. I’m fine.”

A knock on the door brought the two girls out of the moment and Shinobu turned her head just as Hisa came in with two bowls of rice and vegetables. Shinobu was briefly impressed by the old woman, of whom she had not sensed an approach.

“Lunch for you two, please enjoy,” Hisa crooned as she set the tray on the low lying table nearby. “And here is bedding and a change of clothes for you should you wish for them Insect Hashira.”

Again Shinobu was a bit perplexed over the old woman’s ghostly ability. How had she not noticed the bundle of fabrics Hisa only now seemed to have carried? Perhaps she was too tired Shinobu mused, watching the old woman set up the futon for her.

“I’ll be there in just a moment to help you eat, (Y/n)-chan.” Hisa smiled as she patted the covers smooth.

“No need to trouble yourself, Hisa-san. I can take everything over from here,” Shinobu politely waved her off. “Please leave the rest of (Y/n)’s care to me.”

“If that is what you wish. Call if you require anything.” Hisa finished setting up Shinobu’s sleeping arrangements before slipping out of the room and sliding the door shut behind her.

Shinobu hummed quietly and got up to collect the food from the table, opting instead to set the tray at (Y/n)’s bedside. She lifted one of the bowls and pinched a sprout with the chopsticks and held it before (Y/n)’s face. “Say ahhhh,” She taunted playfully, waving the food before (Y/n)’s lips.

“You don’t need to feed me I can do it myself.” (Y/n) could feel her cheeks heat up as Shinobu persisted with her actions.

“What a bold faced lie, (Y/n). Or perhaps you hit your head harder than I thought? You do see how tightly I bound your arms, correct? Now open up, we don’t want to make a mess now do we?”

(Y/n) looked down at her covered arms slung snuggly over her stomach and made a soft sound of embarrassment. She turned shyly to Shinobu and received the bite, looking away bashfully as she chewed and swallowed.

“See that wasn’t so bad. Have some more, your body needs fuel to help it heal.” Shinobu spoke cheekily and raised the chopsticks again.

Shinobu continued feeding (Y/n) bite after bite until the bowl was empty. Then she replaced the used bowl with the full one waiting nearby and began eating her own lunch. She still sat by (Y/n)’s side and shared in conversation as she ate. Despite the plainness of the small meal, Shinobu felt like it was the best thing she’d eaten in a long time. Though she suspects it was as Mitsuri often told her, it’s the company with which one shares the meal that makes it taste so much better.

Shinobu’s lips curl into a small, sweet smile as she watches (Y/n)’s eyelids droop. When (Y/n) attempts to hide a yawn with her shoulder, Shinobu helps her lay back down from her reclined position. She only teasingly stroked (Y/n)’s hair three or four times before the slayer passed out. The smile grew a bit more proud as she realized (Y/n)’s total concentration breathing persisted even in her sleep. Shinobu studied the exhausted yet, peaceful expression. Drinking in the face she hadn’t seen in months, she wondered how a girl she had only met in person for a short period of time could already have such a prominent place in her mind.

Shinobu stretched her arms over her head and popped her spine, releasing a relaxed sigh as the tension escaped her back. The many nights of minimal, restless sleep had really taken a toll. She shuffled over to her own bed roll, only taking a moment to remove her blade, hairpin, and haori before slipping into the covers and succumbing to a deep, dreamless sleep.

***

It was well in to the next morning when Shinobu finally stirred. She fought with herself to sit up, a soft groan of displeasure left her mouth as she left the heat of her blanketed cocoon. She lazily scanned the room, her eyebrows knit together once her gaze landed on the empty futon a few meters away from her own. Her ear picked up the faint sounds of a struggle coming from the next room and her senses went into high alert.

Shinobu got up and grabbed her saya, a practiced hand poised over the hilt of her nichirin blade, she edged the door open with her foot and—

“Ahh!” (Y/n) squeaked and turned away from Shinobu to cover herself with her rumpled uniform top.

“Oh, (Y/n),” Shinobu laughed, “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get dressed, obviously. Can you leave please?” (Y/n) asked, trying to shoo the Hashira away.

“How long have you been trying to fit your fitted sleeves over those thick bandages?” Shinobu asked instead, smirking and leaning against the door frame.

“...I don’t want to talk about it.” (Y/n) mumbled, her shoulders slouched.

Shinobu giggled and made to approach, picking up the discarded kimono that (Y/n) had worn the previous day. “Your uniform would probably make traveling more comfortable, but I really rather not have to unwrap your arms. I recommend you keep wearing this, at least until we get home.”

“But it’s not practical, what if we encounter a demon?” (Y/n) worried.

“No offense (Y/n), but no matter what you wear, you won’t be much help with a fight in your condition,” Shinobu gave a sympathetic smile as she held out the kimono and discretely eyed (Y/n)’s scar, the previous injury that had brought them together. “Of course, if you’d rather go topless who am I to judge?” She teased.

“Oh my gods, give me that!” (Y/n) took the kimono from an all too pleased Shinobu and nudged her toward the door. “It took me twenty minutes just to put on pants, sorry that I would rather not let that struggle go to waste.” (Y/n) grumped, frown deepening at Shinobu’s tinkling laughter.

“If you need any help, just ask. I’d like to leave while it’s still light out.” Shinobu called through the door.

Shinobu took her time fixing her hair and packing up her supplies, but once that was done she was pretty much ready to go. She pulled on her haori and accepted a late breakfast from Hisa and she casually taunted (Y/n) through the door as she ate.

Finally, the berated girl emerged from the separate room wearing the kimono and her haori draped over her shoulders, looking almost as exhausted as yesterday. (Y/n) loosely held onto her uniform which Shinobu took from her to pack tightly into her bag.

“Oh dear,” Shinobu tutted, “You already tired yourself out haven’t you?”

“I can still walk, despite everything else my legs somehow are fine.”

“In that case,” Shinobu reached out and pinched (Y/n)’s thigh causing the other girl to let out a surprised, slightly pained yelp.

“What was that for?” (Y/n) hissed, gingerly rubbing the sore spot through her kimono.

“For removing your slings. You could have upset the alignment of your arms.” Shinobu scolded gently as she moved to fit the slings back around (Y/n)‘s arms and neck. Once she was satisfied, she helped (Y/n) eat breakfast, which was technically lunch at this point.

Shinobu gathered the rest of (Y/n)’s meager belongings, most noticeably her nichirin blade, and hefted her bag over her shoulder. (Y/n) offered to carry it, but Shinobu refused. Once they were ready to leave, Hisa created sparks for them and wished them good fortune during their journey. Shinobu and (Y/n) thanked Hisa, bid her goodbye and headed out.

Mochi cawed joyously and flew circles around the girls as they walked through the nearby village. He was causing a scene, but (Y/n) let him have his fun. He was just excited to be out and about with his slayer again.

“(L/n)-san!”

(Y/n) stopped and turned her head, prompting Shinobu to do the same. “Oh, Watanabe-san, hi!”(Y/n) greeted the girl hunched over a crutch with a couple small children circling her. They had also stopped to stare up at the boisterous raven.

“You aren’t heading out on a mission right now are you?” Watanabe asked, worry evident as she hobbled closer. She hadn’t even acknowledged Shinobu’s presence, instead focusing her wide eyes solely on (Y/n).

“Oh no,” (Y/n) shook her head, “Just transferring health care facilities. Kochou-sama’s orders.” (Y/n) half joked, turning to the Pillar next her and finally tearing Watanabe’s eyes away from her to look over at Shinobu.

“Kochou-sama!” Watanabe gasped and bowed clumsily at the waist. “I’m sorry I hadn’t realized sooner-“

“It’s fine, your off duty. Relax.” Shinobu gave the girl a small smile. Watanabe released a relieved sigh and a polite ‘thank you’ before eagerly turning her attention back to (Y/n).

“Well, this was good timing seeing as you’re leaving already,” Watanabe chuckled nervously. “I was just coming by to thank you again for saving me that night.”

“No need to thank me,” (Y/n) replied bashfully. “We both ended up in bad shape by the end of the night. If it wasn’t for the others we wouldn’t have made it back anyway.”

“It still means a lot to me. We’ve been on quite a few missions together now and it feels good to know that I can trust you to have my back.” Watanabe explained, a small dusting of blush appearing over her cheeks caused Shinobu’s smile to subtly twitch. “And I love to have yours too of course!” She said. Then she paused a moment before trying to amend her statement, “I mean like, you’ve got my back and I’ve got yours when we’re killing demons and stuff!”

“Yeah, I got it.” (Y/n) laughed. “I’m glad.”

“Kawa-nee,” one of the young children spoke up, tugging at Watanabe’s clothes, “Is she that girl you talk about all the time? The one you think is really pre—“

“Is really pre, pre- professional and good at her job? Yes, that’s our (L/n)-san haha!” Watanabe squished the little boy’s cheeks until his lips were pouty and protruding harshly. “Little cousins, such a handful!” Despite looking horrified, she tittered and blushed, her hands still smushing the poor boy’s face.

“Can I pet your birb?” Another child asked from behind Watanabe, pointing to Mochi still screaming in the sky.

“Uh-“

“I’m afraid we need to keep moving along,” Shinobu interjected before (Y/n) could speak. “(Y/n) is already quite tired in her weakened state and I’d hate to have her traipsing around in the dark longer than necessary. Surely you understand.”

“Of course Kochou-sama, forgive us,” Watanabe ran a hand through her hair, her face beet red with a sheepish expression. “I guess this is goodbye for now, (L/n)-san. I wish you a full and speedy recovery. I hope to be fighting by your side again soon!” The girl spoke sincerely, “And you know, maybe hang out sometime...” she added quietly under her breath. It was something that clearly wasn’t meant to be heard but it didn’t escape Shinobu’s acute hearing as the Pillar fought to not roll her eyes.

“Thanks, Watanabe-san. I wish you an excellent recovery too, rest well,” (Y/n) beamed, seemingly unaware of the effect she had on her poor fellow slayer.

“Yes, goodbye now. Lovely meeting you,” Shinobu waved with one hand and placed the other at the small of (Y/n)’s back to usher her along. Even as (Y/n) got into a steady gait, Shinobu persisted with her touch and gave Watanabe a plastic smile over her shoulder before redirecting her attention to (Y/n), her fingers pressing a hint further into the fabric at (Y/n)’s back as she gently pushed her out of the small, bustling village.

***

They had traveled a few decent kilometers and the sun had passed its highest point. Mochi had finally grown tired of his circling and took a precarious perch on the slant of (Y/n)’s shoulder as she and Shinobu continued to walk through the twisted woods.

“Do tell me when you need to rest, (Y/n). I don’t wish for you to pass out on me, I’ve got enough things to carry as is.” Shinobu spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded them for awhile now.

“I’ll be fine,” (Y/n) spoke with an ill timed cough.

“Perhaps a quick break is in order after all.” Shinobu frowned, placing the back of her hand on (Y/n)’s scalding forehead she winced internally. “You’re burning up. We’re pushing too hard, rest.”

“I can keep going Shinobu, really. I don’t want to slow you down any more than I already have.”

“(Y/n), I’m out here because I want to be. There is nothing more important to me in this moment than your well-being. Now sit under this shady tree, drink some of this medicated water, and rest.” Shinobu commanded, helping (Y/n) lower herself to the ground and offering a waterskin for the girl to drink from.

“Mmm ‘kay.” (Y/n) mumbled, too tired to argue further.

Shinobu simpered at the injured slayer then stood and turned to take in her surroundings. She looked to the trees above and counted veiny offshoots of the sun illuminated greenery above, killing time until (Y/n) could travel more ground.

I’m going to need to be especially vigilant tonight.

“ShinobuShinobuShinobuShinobu!”

Shinobu whipped her head around back to (Y/n) heart racing she was by her side in an instant and cupped the quivering girl’s cheeks in her hands. Her eyes switching between (Y/n) and the surrounding environment rapidly to try to understand what could possibly have upset her so- oh.

“Shinobu!”

“I see, I see. Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Shinobu released the tension she had been holding and moved to shoo away the small black butterfly that was happily perched on one of the roots of the tree. She watched as it fluttered a few meters away to the trunk of another tree before Mochi spooked it even further away. She wanted to be mad at (Y/n), to scold her for scaring so badly over something that couldn’t possibly hurt her, but instead she smiled tenderly and crouched down to sit next to the quaking girl and pulled her into a caring embrace, having (Y/n)’s head rest in the crook of her neck.

“Don’t worry. I’m watching it, just focusing on your breathing. I’m here.” Shinobu cooed as (Y/n) hid her face in Shinobu’s chest.

True to her word, Shinobu watched the insect flutter around as Mochi attempted to chase it away. She found it odd that the butterfly would continue to stick around after being repeatedly dive bombed by the bird, but she didn’t think too much of it. Shinobu shifted her position ever so carefully to get a bit more comfortable since she could tell (Y/n) had fallen asleep. Whether out of stress or just plain physical exhaustion she wasn’t quite sure, but she’d wager that both played a part.

She allowed the girl to sleep a while longer, enjoying the simplicity of this rare peaceful moment and committing it to memory. They only had a few hours of daylight left now, so Shinobu begrudgingly patted (Y/n)’s back.

“(Y/n), it’s time to start moving again.” Shinobu’s seraphic voice called out.

(Y/n) groaned and shook her sleep addled head from her position on Shinobu’s shoulder, her nose grazed the side of Shinobu’s neck as she did so.

“(Y/n), night will soon befall us. We must go. However, once we get back to the Estate, you may sleep on me all you want if that’s what you desire.”

(Y/n)’s head shot up and she fell back against the roots away from Shinobu’s flirtatiously teasing smile, feeling the heat radiating off her face increase ten fold.

“Sorry!” (Y/n) stuttered out. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep!”

“No need to apologize, you looked very cute. So cuddly too,” Shinobu teased as she helped the poor girl to her feet. Before (Y/n) could reply, Shinobu pushed (Y/n) forward, her hand taking a now familiar perch over (Y/n)’s obi. “Let’s be on our way! Mochi, you can stop tormenting that butterfly now,” she spoke over her shoulder to the raven and watched him dive at the insect one last time before soaring above their heads.

“Why do you keep guiding me by the waist? I know how to get to where we’re going,” (Y/n) asked while staring warily over her shoulder at the black butterfly dodging a beam of light to continue lurking in the shaded grove.

“The forest floor is covered in gnarled roots and jagged rocks. I’d hate for you to trip and not be able to break your fall.” Shinobu explained. “Like that,” she giggled her whole arm now curled around (Y/n)’s waist as she pulled the girl back up before (Y/n)’s tripping could completely fell her. “You should really watch where you’re stepping.”

“But I need to watch the butterfly!” (Y/n) insisted, still looking back despite Shinobu’s advice.

“I’m standing right beside you.”

“What are you- oh, I see what you did there, Insect Pillar.” (Y/n) chuckled.

Shinobu continued to distract (Y/n) from her fear as they walked on. Telling (Y/n) about the last visit Tanjirou and his squad paid to the Butterfly Estate as well as an embarrassing story about Tomioka Giyuu that had both girls snickering at the poor man’s misfortune.

As dusk fell over the forest, Shinobu estimated they would make it home in a couple more hours. To travel by darkness wasn’t safe for numerous reasons, but at least they had a lovely full moon to light the way.

The conversation between the two girls naturally died off as the pinks and oranges of the sunset disappeared and night fell. It was necessary for them to stay alert of their surroundings, to be able to hear even the slightest shift in the wind beneath the near deafening songs of cicadas and crickets. Even Mochi flew high above the trees, silently searching for anything amiss.

(Y/n) shivered as a cool breeze shook the leaves of the trees and wished she could pull her haori more tightly over herself. She casually glanced to her left but soon did a double take, swiveling her whole head to the side and pausing in her footsteps. This alerted Shinobu as her hand stayed at (Y/n)’s back.

(Y/n) thought she had saw something. Something small and dark crossed the edge of her vision but whatever it was, if it was anything at all, was gone now. She turned to shake her head at Shinobu to communicate the momentary pause before they continued on the path with near silent footfalls.

They weren’t much further along when another dark shape crossed (Y/n)’s peripheral. Another chill overtook (Y/n)’s body and she could feel the little hairs on the back of her neck prickle to attention. She pursed her lips and side stepped out of Shinobu’s touch and stopped walking.

(Y/n) flickered her eyes between Shinobu’s and her blade twice. The Hashira interpreted the expression easily and poised her now free hand over the hilt of her blade as she scanned the thick woods around them. This part of the forest let in precious little light from the moon, only a few sporadic beams managed to kiss the cold earth below.

The cicadas and crickets had gone quiet.

Another particularly strong gust of howling wind rattled the leaves and pushed at the young slayers’ clothes and hair, yet still nothing emerged from the darkness. Shinobu and (Y/n) knew better than to lower their guard now however.

A few tense, painfully quiet minutes passed before (Y/n) heard it. A faint ‘fwtfwtfwt’ steadily growing in intensity. (Y/n) looked over to Shinobu who nodded in her direction. The Hashira had lowered her bag and (Y/n)’s sheathed blade to the ground in the nook between two roots of a nearby tree before withdrawing her own poison laced blade from its saya and holding it at the ready.

The noise grew louder, sounding like paper flapping rapidly in a windstorm and (Y/n) couldn’t stop the scream that shot out from her throat and escaped through Shinobu’s hastily placed finger tips that had been slapped over her lips.

Butterflies, at least a hundred if they had to guess, emerged from the darkness with the same inky black color of the one they encountered in the earlier that day.

(Y/n)’s lips quivered against Shinobu’s hand and the rest of her shook just as violently, yet her feet remained as firmly placed as a statue. Too consumed by fear to even think about bolting away.

There was nowhere to run anyway, the butterflies flew around them from all angles, more waiting just beyond the trees.

“You found my dinner have you, my lovelies?” A gravelly voice called from the darkness, followed by a sound that was like a dusty cackle mixed with a cough. “She moves rather quickly for being in such a weak state.”

A looming figure finally caught a beam of moonlight and (Y/n) wished desperately to have missed the state of such a miserable looking creature. It was a decrepit looking thing, a grotesque demon with two obscenely large, vacant compound eyes that protruded far from its face. The demon’s faded blue kimono was torn and frayed at the hem, revealing bare feet caked in dried blood and dirt. It was an old, ragged relic that paid homage to humanity long since lost.

“Ahh, there’s the damaged goods,” The demon smiled sinisterly at (Y/n), its bulbous eyes unmoving, “Just the scent of your fear alone is oh so delectable. I can’t wait to taste the rest!” the demon’s voice crackled, its neck craned to scrutinize (Y/n)’s form, a long, wire thin tongue escaped chapped lips for a moment in a poor attempt to wet them.

“Ara, what an abomination you are,” Shinobu taunted, stepping in front of (Y/n) to obscure her from the demon’s view, “You’ve really made a mess of things you know? I was going to help (Y/n) get used to butterflies but showing your repulsive form has surely driven her further into fear. I’ll have to dispose of you quickly for causing such a setback.” Shinobu spoke, her lips quirked upward in a kind of smile that somehow radiated pure anger and disgust.

“Be gone, slayer. Your blood is no good. My babies have whispered of you. They assessed you in the daylight, the girl is slowing you, leave her to me. You cannot protect her while fighting my kaleidoscope, leave her now and you’ll live to see another sun.” The demon spoke as if it was being most generous, even chivalrous, with its proposal.

“My, what ludicrous words you speak. I have half a mind to cut out your tongue over such a suggestion. My blade may not be suited for chopping heads, but for this purpose it should work just fine!” Shinobu leapt up into the trees, the sudden movement was followed by a swarm of black butterflies.

(Y/n) was breathing heavily, trying to regain total concentration with no success. She had no idea what to do. She had no way of helping Shinobu in her condition. There was nowhere to go-

“Mochi!” (Y/n) yelled out into the sky. The raven was busy avoiding a smaller swarm of demon insects, performing various swoops and dives to stay out of their way. “Lose those butterflies and go to the Estate! Get help!” The raven released a distressed caw, reluctant to leave his slayer behind, but with a few well made aerial maneuvers he spun away from the insects’ traps and flew off into the night. But not before squawking an ominous warning.

“Careful, draw much blood so sharp!”

“Blood, sharp? What-“

“Troublesome girl, by the time anyone gets here the only thing left to help with will be cleaning your entrails from the moss and roots!” The demon lurched forward, the motion encouraged (Y/n) to finally find her legs, bolting just before the demon could reach her with its gnarled claws. She could feel the displaced air from the missed swipe at her neck.

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck!” (Y/n) must have yelled the expletive a thousand times as she stumbled away from the hungry beast, between the length of her kimono and the binding of her arms her efforts alone would surely not be enough to escape.

“Run all you like, my babies show me all. Even now I see the other human hopping amongst the branches above looking for an opening she won’t find. It’s all hopeless.”

As the demon slowed its pursuit, butterflies flanked (Y/n)’s sides as she continued to run. She made a particularly hard turn and fell forward, having just enough forethought to twist so her back hit the ground rather than her slung arms.

As she tried to bring herself back to her feet, something caught her eyes that made them blow wide open. The butterflies that had been hot on her trail had been embedded deep into the bark of the tree she had ducked behind. As she processed the information the demon drew closer in the moonlight until its shadow loomed over (Y/n) who was still struggling to get up.

“You’re mine!” The demon snarled, unfurling its whiplike tongue.

“Dance of the Bee Sting: True Flutter!” Shinobu had re-emerged from the shadows of the trees at lightning speed, her blade poised to strike deep within the demon’s back.

The demon grinned wickedly, (Y/n) could see herself reflected in its gargantuan eyes, as well as another wave of butterflies flying around her in a beeline towards Shinobu.

“Sharp!” (Y/n) finally understood, but everything was happening much too fast. “Shinobu, stop!” (Y/n) screamed.

Shinobu’s breath hitched and she changed her trajectory at the very last moment to take a forward tumble and land a few meters away from the demon’s side. She quickly burst forward once her feet made contact with the earth and less than gracefully scooped (Y/n) from the ground, half carrying her as she continued to hop away.

“I hope you had good reason for that little outburst,” Shinobu’s voice strained as she tried to maintain her grip, her arms already aching. A familiar self loathing at her lack of physical strength bubbling to the surface.

“Shinobu, the butterflies’ wings are sharp enough to slice into trees. You would have been cut into ribbons if you flew into them!” (Y/n) hastily informed. “The demon said it could see through the butterflies, so even if its not looking directly at you, if there is a butterfly tailing you it knows where you are!”

“What an annoying creature,” Shinobu huffed, as she struggled to lean (Y/n) against a large boulder to help her regain her footing. “Long range battles are less than favorable.”

“It’s only a matter of time before it catches up again, what can we do? Mochi probably hasn’t even made it to the Estate yet,” (Y/n) murmured worriedly, mind whirring as fast as possible to come up with a solution.

“You needn’t worry, (Y/n),” Shinobu brushed her fingers over (Y/n)’s jaw and tilted her head so their eyes would meet, “I merely stated that long range unfavorable, in order to kill this demon, I’ll simply have to move so fast that it won’t matter if it can see me coming and remove those pesky eyes.” She smiled.

“But Shinobu-!”

“(Y/n), I certainly hope you aren’t doubting my abilities. Perhaps in your very lax use of titles and honorifics you’ve forgotten that I hold rank over you, yes? The highest rank a demon slayer can achieve?”

“I’m very sorry, Kochou-sama! That wasn’t my intention!” (Y/n) bowed awkwardly, a nervous sweat rolling off her brow.

“I didn’t say you had to stop being informal with me, just trust that I know what I’m doing, silly girl,” Shinobu smiled affectionately at her chagrined companion before spinning gracefully on her toes to face the dark abyss that was steadily growing louder, her nichirin sword at the ready, “Now, listen carefully and do as I say...”

***

A few moments later, they were under attack once again, the butterflies descended upon them in a flurry, but they were ready.

(Y/n) and Shinobu split off, a majority of the demon bugs swarmed after Shinobu as (Y/n) clambered back to where Shinobu had discarded her bag. It was still quite a ways off and (Y/n) could only hope the demon was as slow as Shinobu believed it to be. Sure, it seemed to take pause during a few points in its chase, but it could just as easily be toying with them.

(Y/n) nearly tripped due to a shallow hole in the dirt, but was lucky enough to regain her balance and keep going despite the disruption of her forward momentum. She must have cursed her useless arms over a million times in the last ten minutes alone.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing Shinobu!” (Y/n) hissed to herself as one butterfly got to close and managed to swipe her cheek, a streak of blood mingled with stinging sweat.

Finally she saw the discarded bag and her sword which she wished desperately to be able to use. She had no time to stop and figure out how to pick the bag up so she made a little prayer that her uniform would cushion the valuable vials Shinobu said were inside and kicked the bag high into the air, managing to catch the strap in her teeth, and kept running.

(Y/n) made a large arc around another thick grouping of trees and began making her way back into Shinobu’s general area. (Y/n)’s head and heart were pounding and her vision was blurring dangerously. And that was the least of her problems. Adrenaline or no, (Y/n) was sure she was at her limit and was going to crash very soon.

“I have grown tired of this game!”

(Y/n) cried out as the demon lunged from the shadows and tackled her to the ground, it’s mouth frothing and dripping foamy saliva onto (Y/n)’s kimono. (Y/n) managed to kick the demon off and she scooted frantically backwards, watching the angry monster crawl after her with its tongue lashing at her retreating ankles.

“This wasn’t part of the plan! This wasn’t part of the plan!” (Y/n) chanted to herself as she ripped one of her arms free from its sling, wincing through the pain as she straightened it and dug through the bag while still scrambling backward.

“Uhehehe! You’re little friend is busy with a special addendum of this demon blood technique of mine. I left her with enough of my babies to make a clone of myself. There are no obvious differences to be found, she will die believing she was truly facing off with me,” the demon cackled, fully clutching onto (Y/n)’s ankle and dragging her back, “little did she know I was really here, devouring her friend!”

“Devour this, bitch!” (Y/n)’s arm withdrew from the bag with a surgical syringe in her bandaged fist and stabbed it deep into the nearest eye of the miserable creature, draining the purple liquid into the gelatinous mass.

The demon roughly pushed the girl back and released a most horrendously shrill scream into the night. It reeled back on its haunches and clutched at its face.

“What have you done to me! My eyes! My eyes!” It bellowed, its eyes had begun to deteriorate at a rapid pace, a purplish red puss leaked from its tear ducts as it blindly grasped at (Y/n)’s legs. “I’ll make you wish you were never born!”

(Y/n)’s eyes clenched shut, she had no strength left to continue fighting, everything hurt so much she couldn’t even move to defend herself any longer. She could feel the hot breath against her neck, but then the sensation was quickly replaced with that of the cool night breeze and her eyes shot open to see a pure white haori flutter against her cheek.

“Kanao-san!” (Y/n) cheered, her expression one of euphoric disbelief.

“Where did you go you slippery little worm!” The demon shrieked, ripping madly at the ground with its claws.

Kanao stopped a safe distance away from the ranting beast and laid (Y/n) onto the grass and began assessing the beyond beat up slayer before her.

“Wait, Kanao-san, the demon needs to be dealt with and we need to find Kochou-sama.” (Y/n)’s speech was hurried and a bit slurred, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to stay present in the moment and (Y/n) was trying very hard to stay lucid to update Kanao on the situation.

Kanao stared down at (Y/n) then up at the writhing demon, then back down at (Y/n). She gingerly adjusted (Y/n’s neck and head so that she was looking back at her tormentor of the night and could see what was about to take place. (Y/n)’s heart filled with relief as a familiar blur, that was truly very blurry at this point, ambushed the demon from the trees. “She’s okay...”

“Dance of the Dragonfly: Compound Eye Hexagon!” Shinobu speedily stabbed the demon multiple times, injecting it full of her poison. She was absolutely furious. Not only had the demon wasted her time with that cheap parlor trick clone, it had left (Y/n) in worse shape than Shinobu had found her in the care of the Wisteria House.

She dug her heel harshly into the demon’s ribs once she got a good look at (Y/n) as Kanao tended to her. Shinobu’s jaw set tightly and she glared darkly at the demon writhing and gasping under her foot.

“You,” Shinobu spoke lowly. “I wish I could kill you a hundred more times, but this will have to do. I’ve used my most agonizing blend of poison after all.” She waited for the demon to release one final wheeze before stepping away, crushing a wilting remnant of a demonic butterfly into ash beneath her foot as she made her way over to Kanao and an unconscious (Y/n) with a visibly pained expression.

“Thank you for your impeccable timing and diligence. When I heard that scream I thought... You got to her just in time,” Shinobu knelt down opposite Kanao, beside (Y/n), checking over the girl’s body for any injury that could not wait to be dealt with.

“Mochi was invaluable. I wouldn’t have even known to come to the forest without him. He’s guiding a couple Kakushi here as we speak,” Kanao reported as she would upon completing a mission.

“I’m glad,” Shinobu twined her idle fingers with those on (Y/n)’s left hand and closed her eyes wearily. “I’ve done nothing but put her in danger tonight. She needs to be kept in hands stronger than mine.”

Kanao hesitantly reached out and covered (Y/n) and Shinobu’s joined hands with her own, meeting her sister’s curious gaze a bit nervously. “I... I don’t think (Y/n)-san could be in more capable hands than your own, Neesan.”

“She’s right.”

Kanao and Shinobu blinked at each other before tilting their heads downward to find half open (e/c) eyes staring back up at them.

“It was a strange and clever demon, it targeted me specifically because it observed my injuries and knew I’d be easy pray. If I had been at the top of my game, or if you didn’t have to worry about me, you would have been able to take out that demon much faster. It took advantage of us, so don’t belittle yourself, please.” (Y/n) smiled warmly and weakly squeezed Shinobu’s fingers.

“You’re too kind,” Shinobu gave a small smile in return, “Don’t strain yourself now, rest.” She spoke softly, but (Y/n) continued to babble in her feverish, exhausted haze.

“I just don’t want you to be sad, you know? You work so hard and you’re so cool and smart and beautiful so, yeah, gods I’m so tired. Imma take a nap righ’ here. Night.”

“(Y/n), (Y/n)!”

“Ah!”

Mochi had swooped in from high above the trees and landed on (Y/n)’s chest with wings outstretched and proceeded to hop around her torso and cry with relief.

Shinobu gently admonished the bird, offering her arm as a more acceptable perch as (Y/n) groaned and turned in on herself.

“Kochou-sama, Tsuyuri-sama!” two Kakushi called as they emerged from the trees, one cradled (Y/n)’s sword in their arms as they made their hasty approach.

“Oh gods, you again?” One of the Kakushi griped once he caught sight of (Y/n) on the ground. “You aren’t going to fight me when I pick you up again, are you?”

(Y/n) pouted and shook her head slightly, fighting to keep consciousness despite claiming that she was going to sleep.

“Shinobu promised to keep the butterflies away, it’s fine.” She mumbled, forgoing usual formalities that she would normally use in the presence of others.

“What do butterflies have to do with anything?” the other Kakushi wondered aloud, scratching their head with the hilt of (Y/n)’s blade.

“Just ignore her, it’s been a long night and I’d like to get home,” Shinobu waved them off, trying to distract from (Y/n)’s slip of her self proclaimed, ‘most embarrassing secret’.

The gruff Kakushi picked (Y/n) up and with a little help from Kanao, got her slung over his back.

“Ugh, everything hurts. Don’t bounce so much,” (Y/n) whined, her voice muffled by the Kakushi’s back.

“Quit complaining I-“

“Do be gentle with her please,” Shinobu interjected, she gripped the Kakushi’s shoulder and gave him a dazzling smile that shook him to his very core.

“Y-yes ma’am!”

***

(Y/n) awoke several hours later. She was disoriented, but clean and warm in the comfort of the Butterfly Estate’s infirmary.

“(Y/n)-san woke up!” Kiyo exclaimed from (Y/n)’s side, startling the girl from her haze between sleep and wakefulness.

“Hey, Kiyo, how long was I out?” (Y/n) asked the small girl at her bedside who was quickly joined by Naho and Sumi scurrying over from the opposite side of the room.

“You’ve been asleep for over three days since you got back. Shinobu-sama slept a lot too. Not as much as you, but once she had you taken care of she slept almost all day!” Kiyo informed. “It’s been awhile since Shinobu-sama has slept so soundly.”

“I’m glad she’s been resting. That fight was, kind of intense to say the least,” (Y/n) shuddered just thinking about that battle. She was sure she’d be seeing long, whipping tongues, bulbous eyes and razor sharp butterflies in her nightmares from now on. She needed to become even stronger. “Has Kochou-sama said anything about when my recovery training will begin to you girls?”

“Hmmm no,” Sumi shook her head.

“She just asked to make sure you don’t leave your cot and to call for her if your condition worsened.” Naho supplied.

“You are in no shape to even think about recovery training right now.”

Everyone jumped and turned to the door, observing Shinobu as she crossed the threshold into the infirmary. The younger girls parted for Shinobu, the Hashira took ahold of (Y/n)’s chin and jaw in one hand and gently turned it this way and that to check the cuts and bruises that marred the slayer’s face. She released a quiet, satisfactory hum seeing that nothing appeared infected. As she continued her evaluation, she continued to speak, “Your body has been through a considerable amount of stress to say the least. The way I see it, you’ll be out of commission for a couple months at the very least.”

“A couple months? But—!”

“Shhh,” Shinobu adjusted her hand to cover (Y/n)’s lips and stifle her protests. “I will hear no ‘buts’ about it. This is not up for debate. Now you will not leave this bed until I have personally cleared you to do so. Have I made myself clear?” Shinobu’s eyes stare relentlessly into (Y/n)’s, almost threateningly so, as she slides her hand to rest on the bedridden slayer’s shoulder, awaiting an answer.

“Crystal clear,” (Y/n) squeaked, trying to sink further into the bed. Shinobu squeezed their shoulder gingerly before withdrawing her hand completely with a satisfied smile.

“I’m glad you understand,” Shinobu hummed approvingly. “Now, you must be hungry. Girls,” she turned to Sumi, Kiyo and Naho, “see if Aoi needs help with dinner, please.”

“Yes, Shinobu-sama!” the girls nodded vigorously, waving goodbye before disappearing out of the room and down the hall with the soft thuds of tiny feet on wood.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Shinobu asked, directing her attention back to (Y/n).

“Hmm? Oh, I’m okay. Just, tired. Sore.” (Y/n) startled a bit, hoping it hadn’t been too obvious that she had been staring at Shinobu while the youngest girls of the estate took their leave.

“I see,” Shinobu hummed, setting herself to sit on the edge of the bed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” (Y/n) flexed her ankle, hitting her foot against Shinobu’s side, “I wish you would believe me when I say that.”

“It’s hard to argue the contrary. I did take you away from the Wisteria House after all. As shoddy as the building is, at least the wisteria would have kept you safe.”

(Y/n) moved to kick at Shinobu again, but the Hashira blocked the foot, leveling a warning glance at the bedridden slayer.

“You know, I was really surprised when you came.” (Y/n) admitted, turning to look out the window. She flinched when she noticed the butterfly on the other side, but kept her eyes on it, watching. “It made me really happy, actually.”

Shinobu blinked, unsure of how to proceed. She didn’t need to however as (Y/n) kept talking.

“I had been looking for an excuse to come by, to visit. I didn’t know what you’d think. I thought that you were just fine with being pen pals and me showing up would be weird, and then I thought about the butterflies and I just lost my nerve every time I thought about it. And then I got hurt again and I thought the letter I had Hisa-san write would be good enough for you, but you came to see me for yourself,” (Y/n) paused and gulped nervously, still watching the butterfly as it was joined by another.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I? I just wanted to tell you that it meant a lot that you would take time to come look after me when your so busy. Even when it got dangerous, I can’t say that I regretted it because I was just happy to be with you— Eep!”

Shinobu moved from her perch at the end of the bed to lay over (Y/n)’s body, her face hidden in (Y/n)’s neck.

“Shinobu!”

(Y/n) felt rumblings over her neck and chest growing in intensity and although it hurt, she smiled brightly as Shinobu’s laughter racked her body.

“Thank you.” Shinobu chuckled once she had reined in her laughter. “That was very sweet of you to say. Aren’t you embarrassed to speak so candidly?”

“Should I be?” (Y/n) asked, nervously. “Oh gods, I didn’t read this wrong, did I?”

Shinobu rose herself to rest on her elbow, her other hand raised to silence the girl below her before her second guessing got too out of hand and tapped her nose playfully. The action drawing (Y/n)’s up to Shinobu’s filled with mirth and warmth.

“You have nothing to worry about. Relax, don’t over exert yourself.”

“So, you...?”

“Mhmmm,” Shinobu smiled, curing a lock of (Y/n)’s hair between her fingers, “so don’t stress. After all, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other while you heal over the next few months. And then, once you heal and are able to take on missions again, maybe you won’t have to think twice about coming over for a visit, hm?”

“I- I suppose not.” (Y/n) smiled bashfully at the butterfly goddess above her.

“Shinobu-sama, you’re going to crush her!”

Shinobu and (Y/n) whipped their heads to the door where Aoi, Kanao, and three mildly concerned young girls stood with food trays in hand.

“My, I’m not that heavy am I? Choose your answer wisely,” Shinobu cocked her head playfully in (Y/n)’s direction, watching her shake her head and laugh.

“Not at all my lady. No more heavy than a blanket really.”

“Ugh, is this what I’m going to have to put up with now?” Aoi groaned and rolled her eyes, placing a tray on the nightstand beside (Y/n)’s bed while fighting the smile that threatened to tug at her lips.

Aoi watched as the younger girls cheered and giggled, crawling on to the bed to chatter on about anything that came to mind as they ate their own dinners. Even Kanao had pulled up a chair, a relaxed smile on her face. Aoi begrudgingly pulled up her own chair, basking in the warmth of the moment despite the strange seating accommodations that certainly weren’t befitting of a proper dinner.

“So annoying.”

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