#also tbh people who are like ''this story is bad bc bad things happen a lot'' are exhausting

[yuridovewing]

I'm not sure if people on tumblr were giving them shit but it's insane how the deviantart audience for The Exile was SO rude to the author for. killing off a character and writing tragedy. And apparently insisting they were overly negative and edgy and they could rewrite it to be more wholesome and whatnot. In their Warrior Cats fancomic.

[oh-no-its-bird]

I don't like the "tobirama was actually super racist and evil" takes for multiple reasons, but I have to admit that it's incredibly funny to me to think about that take in the context of one of those "tobirama time travels/edo tenseis and is revealed to have *gasp* loved an Uchiha once—?!??"

Like. Ok: fic w a stereotypically "all Uchiha are evil they are born to fall victim to their own hatred" Tobirama, but it's also one of those silly cracky fics where Tobirama gets edo tenseid and is revealed to have been in some kind of relationship with Madara

And everyone is like "omg,, maybe he wasn't racist after all? Was he... in love? 🥺"

But no. He is. And actually the messy break up was specifically bc he was Uchiha racist or whatever and wanted to end the relationship before "things get too serious and you fall victim to your curse of hatred"

(spoilers: him saying this directly to Madara's face did not help with any of his mental or anger issues. Curse of hatred ain't shit but a mentally unstable man who almost learned to forgive his brothers killer only to be told straight to his face that he is a man born to do nothing but hate and Tobirama will not love him for both of their own good— yeah that's a different story.)

Tobirama finds Madara doing his evil maniac thing or whatever and is like "tch. Told u it would happen,,"

Madara stops the slaughter just to yell at Tobirama ab how this doesn't prove SHIT.

Make it funnier actually, Tobirama has slept with multiple Uchiha. All the Uchiha. Mr Uchiha bicycle over here. That's including Izuna too.

Still hates them tho btw. Incredibly genuinley just actually racist. Clanist? Is it racism if it's a clan and not a race? Whatever.

Hashirama is like listing off this (honestly alarmingly long) list of Uchiha partners he's had as he just kind of stands there and everyone else have differently favored reactions of either "was the nidaime a whore?" or "omg,,, he must really like Uchiha,, how could he possibly be racist when he's been with so many 🥺🥺"

(Spoilers x2: you can absoloutley be racist while having some sort of fetish for a group of people at the same time. Those are statements that can co-exist.)

The real reason Danzo hates the Uchiha isn't just bc of Tobirama's racism being passed down, it's bc he walked in on him taking backshots from Hikaku, pass it on. He could have been bad but not genocide level racist against the Uchiha but that just kind of tipped the scales. Unfortunate tbh.

I am so sorry I'll see myself out now

[paranoiddreams]

Random Headcannons: Yuji✰

ღ Warnings!! - Sukuna is a whole tw, some of them are a little suggestive but in a goofy way (?), me just yapping tbh, explicit language, mentions of Drake😖, marijuana use🍃, ADHD mentions, he’s kinda brainrotted okay?

ღ A/n!! - Some may be ooc to yall but this is how I see him in my head tbh😭 I’m just going off of vibes. Lmk who you want next! Requests for any fandom on my navi are always welcome!! I’m also working on a longer fic rn, so to that anon who sent a Sukuna request (yk who you are), it’s coming soon🫵🏻😈

Masterlist | navi

Was so invested in the Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake situation Imao. He knew everything that happened from when it started to when it unofficially ended.

Yaps about it to anyone who will listen, and let’s be honest, everyone will because he's such a charming guy

Might just be me, but I feel strongly that Yuji had an emo phase in his middle schools years. I'm talking My Chemical Romance kinda emo, yk, the freaky ones

Not speaking out of experience or anything haha😶‍🌫️

Does actually love J law, and will watch compilations on YouTube at 3 am. What can he say? He's a loyal man.

He watches CaseOh 100% and does have notifs for him on

Chronic iPad kid, it's bad

And to make things worse he can't eat without watching anything (like most of us let's be fr)

He uses the excuse that "kings have always had entertainment while they feast back in the day, what's the difference?”

Sukuna literally couldn't be more ashamed to be in this gen z brainrot teenager's body.

DOES NOT play around when it comes to a Roblox tycoon. Don't cross ma boy in his tycoons.

Actually talks to Sukuna telepathically(?) sometimes. Like when he's bored he'll just-

"Sukuna, do you actually have two dicks?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Most likely listens to Tame Impala, Cuco, Suicideboy$, maybe even a little Pierce the veil time to time. Also loves K-pop and girl groups like BTS, New Jeans, and ENHYPHEN.

His biases are Jungkook, Hanni, & Jake :3

Considered using his hand mouth thing to jerk off one time, but was swiftly turned away from the idea when Sukuna heard him think of it and told him he'd kill him instantly : (

Smokes 🍃 every once in a while when he has a weekend free

He’s a talker when he’s high fs

Will go off about conspiracy theories, and this sounds cliche, but istg he would do this shi

He’s a genuine conspiracy theorist when he’s sober too tbh

But Indica gets him talking🤝

I kinda wrote abt this in one of my requests, but I think that Yuji is a huge fan of getting scared and just having that thrill

Haunted houses, scary movies, music, stories, he loves all of it.

I mean, Gojo made him watch like one million bajillion (real) movies, so ofc he’s grown a fondness for anything over the top disturbing/cheesy

He’s one of those people who’s annoyingly good at everything he tries on the FIRST try.

He doesn’t mean to, but he will one up anyone he’s in the room with😭

Yuji DOES NOT fuck with Xbox, he’s a PlayStation girlie✨

He has a thing for chubby girls 😶‍🌫️ just dropping this here bc I may or may not have smth in the works…

He’d be able to make friends with a roach in the corner of the room, he’s such a caring, compassionate guy, but we already knew this.

Gives ADHD realness

Has definitely called Gojo ‘dad’ by accident a few times before.

Strikes me as the type to flirt and not even realize…

F2L &/or grumpy x sunshine vibes all the way!!!

[lemonagrios]

I've been thinking of an Au like this for a couple of months, so I made some shitty drawings to get some of it out of my system, lol

Me yapping about this Au ⬇️

So when I say "Logan" or "Runaways" Au I don't mean like literally swapping the characters and putting NextGen characters in the existing story, it's more like the general idea of the movie/comics with some plotpoints but not the exact same(?) I hope what I said makes sense lmao 😭

In this Au mutants are still relatively unknown and hidden from the population, but the Malfoys, who are very known and loved for their contributions to medicine and all of the other businesses they own, have known about mutants for a very long time now, and they actually are part of a big anti-mutant organization where they test possible "cures" and weapons for when mutants decide to "rebel" against humanity, even more now that some mutant called Harry Potter has been making some noise they have already tried and failed to silence.

17 year old Scorpius Malfoy, oblivious to all this tries to be the perfect son for his father while also grieving the (suspicious) death of his mother, he's been feeling weird lately, and he also has a big interest in genetics, not only because he knows he'd have to work in Transigen when he grows up like the rest of his family, but because of some weird sightings of interesting people in the past year.

Some stuff happens, and he discovers the truth about his family's business, the inhuman experiments tried on mutant kids, and a deadly weapon called X-19 that they created and actually have been using for a couple of years to kill important people like politicians and mafia lords while earning enormous amounts of money with it.

This "weapon" is actually a teen around the same age as Scorpius, and somehow he ends up running away with him, albeit kinda not on purpose, on top of all that he also very recently discovered that he himself is a mutant, so things are not looking good.

Some more things I've thought about 🥸

Albus and Scorpius are both 17, and their bond is definitely going to turn romantic at some point in the future bc I love them, they're boyfriends in every universe, I don't make the rules.

Albus name is X-19 as a reference to the epilogue begging with "19 years later" lmao.

Also, since his name was X-19, someone in Transigen who was part of the crew in charge of him and felt bad for him started calling him "Severus" in an attempt to give him a real name, I won't give too much details about this but that's the reason Scorpius says "Severus" in my fanart, "Albus" is a name he'd get later.

Albus was created in a lab, BUT I want him to have both Harry and Ginnys genes, I want Ginny to be the one who has the same mutation as him, so since this is kinda a gender reversal, she has claws like Laura's while Albus has Logan's, and we all know Albus looks a lot like Harry, so I like the idea that he was made specifically to resemble him, just to fuck with their heads when a teen that looks just like Harry and has Ginnys mutation is used against them.

As for Scorpius powers, I mostly made them up lol, it's a pretty basic teleportation with the fact that his skin becomes white the more he uses his powers bc I really wanted him to develop a physical mutation that would eventually (propably) out him as a mutant, also he can only teleport to places he has already been to before, if he hasn't been to a place he cannot go there, but since he's so new to his powers he can't control where he's going yet lol.

I think that's it 🤓 I still have nothing set since this is just for silly fun and I could change my mind at anytime, tbh I doubt anyone would read all that, but I had to let it out, I do want to write a fic someday, but if I draw slow, I write even slower 😭 I hope my English didn't fail me cause lately I haven't been Englishing very well lmao, byeee.

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tank moment - mauga

summary; title slightly irrelevant, i wanted to be funny. iykyk

genre/extra tags; headcanons/bullet fic, i talk about mauga hcs i thought of on the fly, reader is implied to be a support character, reader is also part of talon group, fluff, i only know the bare minimum about him and that's all i need baby, is this platonic or romantic idk

[gender neutral reader] [canon typical violence mentioned]

a/n; im back on my overwatch era. it never really ended but, i want to write about him, mauga, the beloved. typing this on my phone and finishing on my computer if anything seems wonky shhh dont tell me i'll relive that mistake for days

also this is a somewhat lightly reseached- aka not fully accurate/detailed work. i briefly mention samoan culture and if it offends or if it's a mistake, please tell me and i will erase those parts asap.

[support me and buy a kofi]

🗣 ALRIGHT SO ‼️

i've been watching and playing with/against mauga since the trial to play him came out and god i love him

but he's kind of easy to counter (im an ana main, nade is fucking broken but that's just anti heal things) and his ult is annoying

anyways

every tank needs their heal bot to keep em up

you just happen to be mauga's heal bot KDJSJSJ

(baptiste is too probably but not really)

he's a really smug guy

no one really knows that bc he sounds so upbeat and nice

but he loves to tease you, poke at you bc he knows that you will answer to him most of the time and entertain him in conversation

you and him are probably in your world even when you're both in talon tbh

he does his own thing and you just happen to join in

(he totally baits you to join his plans and you both know it)

he's a chaotic and cunning man and you're his enabler

(sounds like me and my bestie tbh)

"a hero would sacrifice you to save the world but a villain would sacrifice the world to save you" type beat

he's lowkey possessive but we dont talk about that

jk we do talk abt it

he's your scary guard dog privileges

like that man is tall tall ‼️‼️

idk why but i dont really imagine him being like an openly sweet person

he keeps it private even with how loud he is

anyways

you know how he's on a yacht for his origin story and there's like a bunch of people who got destroyed by him?

yeah he would totally do that shit for u if you asked.

he would give you the best home but

"thanks for the new place and all but did you have to kill someone for it?"

"i mean come on! this place is nice! let's enjoy it!"

he's very "i'll do the dirty work, just sit back and look pretty." and then you're like, "yeah i could. but i won't."

dps support vibes for you ✨️

but also he's charging in most of the time so, there's not much time to dps support KDHDJDJJD

he's like the kool aid man bursting in through the walls /j

cough

back to the hcs here...

he's so tall and big, he would totally let you hang off his back like nunu and wilump (from league, yeah i play league dont remind me totally gonna write for heartsteel soon tm)

also he's literally the greatest heated blanket (ahead of roadhog)

he's so stronk and wowowowow im so gay i love him

when you're surrounded by some enemies, he's charging in, slamming the ground and carrying you with ease as he keeps you safe while destroying any enemies who even tried to touch you

ugh

despite his lack of pda, he's a very actions over words.

he's so silly

chivalry isn't dead when he breaks into a jewelry store for u 😍😍

if you ever have those crazy thoughts about crime, he's totally gonna enable you and let you reign havoc on god knows what.

love language is actions and gift giving. enough said.

when he gives you a hug, he's so fucking warm omg

i said it before and i'll say it again, he's the best heated blanket, literal furnace

bad for the people who sweat easily though (ahem me lowkey)

one the off-days where it's just a day off and relaxing, he's taking care of you well !!

when you're on talon missions, since he can't run around as easily unless he gets the okay but you do keep him company until then

he likes to protect but he loves destroying people

he knows you're able to care for yourself, so he can go crazy whenever, and he loves that.

he also loves watching you get mad or angrily passionate

"yes go, la'u ma’asoama!" (my rock/stone, get it? bc his name means mountain)

he is a really good hype man. even if you're the one in the wrong.

god I WISH I LOOKED UP MORE ABOUT HIM ARGBHYKFJ

soon (tm)

someday i'll write more.

[luna-rainbow]

i saw someone recently say that they preferred sambucky over stevebucky (either platonic or romantic tbh) because they felt bucky was happier not living under the shadow of his former self? suggesting that he intentionally spent most of him time post winter soldier away from steve because he didn't want to be compared to a former version of himself that he couldn't return to? I'm a big lover of stevebucky so the idea that steve wouldn't be able to stop comparing (even if subconsciously) post-ws bucky to pre-ws bucky made me question the ship slightly? or that bucky was actually happier without steve in the readjustment process bc he could become his own person without preconceived ideas of what he should be like hanging over his head. I've read a few fics about this and i kinda wanted to know what u thought - would steve's knowledge of the old bucky affect their relationship so negatively that bucky would be happier alone/with people unfamiliar with who he was before (sorry for the rambling question)

Thank you lovely for the very interesting ask! I love these kind of hypotheticals!

First and foremost, don't ever let anyone convince you that you're only allowed to ship one pairing. A lot of people DO only ship one ship, and kudos to them, but you are not a bad fan if you want to ship Bucky with multiple people. Heck, I got into Stucky via Sambucky, and uh…anyway, here I am.

The idea that "Bucky stayed away from Steve because he didn't want to be compared to old Bucky" is one of my favourite angsty "loss of innocence" tropes to explore -- because yes, that's going to be one of Bucky's major insecurities after the Winter Soldier. He isn't the same person as before and no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to go back to who he was before.

The absolutely fascinating part, then, is how a fanfic writer decides to address this. So yeah, I can see this as the jumping board for a SamBucky story (or any other non Stucky ship).

But this is also a concept that not only fits in well within the Stucky fanon/narrative, it's also crucial to explore in order to bring the two of them back together. How does Steve accept that Bucky has changed, and how does Bucky come to trust that Steve accepts this changed version of him?

The answer is, for me, this is Steve we're talking about. Steve with all his tenacity and empathy and loyalty. This is Steve who's known Bucky since childhood, who probably knows Bucky better than the current Bucky remembers himself. This is also a Steve has fought one of the bloodiest wars in history. He is young, but he's not naive. The people of his time didn't have the right words for it - but he has seen a lot of mental health issues on the field. He's come out on the other end of the war still believing in the goodness of humans (his "I'm willing to bet I'm not" speech), so I have no doubt he will look at Bucky and see that -- yeah, you've changed, you've had terrible things happen to you for well over half a century, but you are also still the same kind soul that I grew up with, and that kindness is what's most important; I can still see him in you, even if you are different, and I believe you deserve all the love I can give you.

And you know what, there IS canon evidence that Steve believes in Bucky, believes in the goodness that couldn't be burned away with 70 years of brainwashing. Sam saying to Steve - (Bucky) isn't the kind you save and he won't know you - and Steve replying without an ounce of doubt in his voice, "He will." Or Steve going after Bucky to save him from the SIT because "he'd have done the same for me".

I think another crux is that recent gif set - the "I'm following the little guy from Brooklyn" speech. That was a vow - it was Bucky saying "I loved you (platonically/romantically/wte) when you were a poor disabled scruffy kid in the dumps, and I will love you just the same even if you're a buff blue-eyed Adonis." Their story, as always, encircles each other's - it is now Steve's turn to say "I loved you when you were a nerdy protective flirt and I will love you just the same even if you're disabled and scruffy and dealing with horrendous PTSD". I think that vow also highlights just how important Steve was, even at that point, to Bucky, which means…their loyalty will always draw them back to each other. Once Bucky sees Steve has faith in him, he will have faith in himself to rebuild his identity in a way that's true to him.

It really depends on the writer, but most versions I’ve seen in which Steve and Bucky separate (over this issue) write Steve as either obtuse, selfish or emotionally immature…which is not how I read him to be. I think he has the emotional maturity to accept that Bucky will have similarities but will also have stark differences to who he once was...but then, time leaves its mark on everyone it touches, not just Bucky (I kinda touched on that concept on my "Learning to Want" fic *self plug*). It's a rough road and on some days there's going to be more setbacks than progress, and yeah on some days Steve is going to get frustrated and upset and maybe even a little defeatist, but I think both he and Bucky have that tenacious survivor streak in them that will pull them through, especially if they're together.

[cursedzucchini]

DC x DP prompt

So i have seen the Damian and Danny are twins and Danny's fave bat is Red Hood and threw them in blender and this is what I got lmao.

It's basically the same, Damian and Danny are twins, but this time? This time they are tied when it comes to power/standing in the League.

Danny might be a little faster on his feet, but Damian doesn't hesitate in life or death situations, Danny might be a little better at first aid, but Damian obeys their Grandfather's every word. Like overall Danny is tiny bit better than Damian, but it doesn't matter bc he doesn't kill.

Anyway long story short, they both are send on different missions to kill some guys. Damian kills the guy, Danny doesn't. And Danny really tries but he just can't. Danny knows this would be death sentence if he returned, so he runs away. (He can meet jezz and she just goes, ok this guys my new bro, and the fentons just accepting it)

Idk how but somehow the league thinks he's dead, and it somehow works out the same as before, but now Damian has ✨brother Complex✨.

Anyway time skip few years and Damian is in Gotham, Danny is half dead and all that stuff. But something happens (could be the fentons finding out about Phantom, or just some ghost king stuff) and Danny needs to go to Gotham. He already knows Abt the bats and especially Abt red hood.

Now allow me to explain more Abt Danny's weird relationship w red hood. Bc Danny grew up in the environment he did, he really blamed himself for being too weak to kill some random guy. And one day he learns about red hood, who kills (or killed) the people he deems as irredeemable (or just bad, but it could be specifically misinformation like this). And Danny, the literal king of ghosts (like he can appreciate it from the revenge side of thing), a child who was taught murder was okay and sometimes needed, but also not able to kill someone himself, Danny really loves this guy, but also really hates himself for not being able to be like him.

Tbh i think this is more of a background or a story than a prompt itself but i hope it can count. My thought process also went to Bruce and overall his reaction to another kid who also desperately wishes to be like his (most fucked up? Murderous? Idk how to describe this) other kid, even though he (Danny) is more like Bruce (w the whole no killing thing).

Like it just seems like such a beautiful fuckery, like I'd love to read it lol

[msnihilist]

Hi, I just wanted to say a post you made a little while back about how in your writing you get to decide whether normally bad relationships like child/adult stuff get a happy ending actually nearly made me cry from joy. I'm plural and regression and older/younger dynamics of all kinds, platonic, romantic, and sexual happen in our system exactly for this reason. Both us and our wife's system were abused badly as kids and it has been an incredible outlet because we know that these people ARE safe, that they're not in these relationships to creep or predate on people but because they know that doing things with them occasionally is a healthy coping mechanism compared to the alternative (and also because consanguinamory rocks tbh). Basically, seeing you say that creating a world where those relationships are genuinely healthy is good for some people made us feel WAY better about some stuff we do that we would never tell anyone in our normal life about and I hope this isn't weird and doesn't make you uncomfortable but we've felt so guilty about it for a while despite knowing that it's 100000% healthy in here that seeing that made us feel so good. It felt like someone finally understood exactly how we feel. I can't go of anon or reblog that post or any response to this bc of backlash from people I know but I just wanted to say thank you for that. That changed us for the better.

You know, what's funny is, I don't personally know how you feel AT ALL. I'm not a system. I don't understand age regression. I don't have any childhood trauma I'm coping with.

I've never been there. All of my stories that reflect my own trauma have dark, grizzly endings. (My therapist recently mentioned something like that, in regards to so many of my recent projects having gaslighting as a theme.)

My unhealthy setups (I.E., incest, child/adult) that have happy endings, have them just because I think it suits the characters or the theme. Not for any trauma/coping reason.

But you know what's crazier? Even though I've never been there, I completely understand how you feel. I don't understand why antis can't. Empathy is not that hard.

I understand that stories like this give you comfort. That it helps you. That you can manufacture a situation where you feel safe, like you should have been as a child. I understand that you get something out of these stories that even I, the author, might not fully grasp.

I understand that your thoughts don't make you a bad person, and that you're so fortunate to have a spouse in the same place you are.

I hope that you continue to heal this way. I hope you can someday stop feeling shame, because you truly are not doing anything wrong. It is okay to pretend that the "adults" in this situation are safe and loving, because they really fucking should have been the first time. You deserve to feel protected. You deserve an adult who won't fail you — not this time.

You are breaking a cycle of violence and hatred, anon. Remember that. Every step down the path of healing is one step further from becoming the same people who once hurt you. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed just because your road is a little unconventional.

[sunnysideaeggs]

TBs annoy me so bad bc like. If you appreciated Rhaenyra's very significant flaws (entitlement & irresponsibility) and the flaws on her team (made up significantly of children & people who refuse to admit Rhaenyra kinda screwed them over, Daemon just in and of himself, no one has any real plan whatsoever etc) then they could have a compelling fandom. Like I still wouldn't be Team Black but I would at least be like 'now here's a set of equally destructive opposing forces fighting for an inherently corrupt position, and here is the fandom for those fucked up losers' and I'd like it.

Instead they build their entire thing off of hating us and ignoring anything a TB character does wrong.

Accept it, weirdos: it's not about who's a good person it's about who's your favorite criminal and if your position starts with 'well they're ACKSHULLY a good person' you lose.

(Also for the record TG has more 'good people'- Alicent victim of years of marital rape and neglect/abuse who's finally looking after herself and her family without anyone to get in her way, Helaena victim of the same, Aemond who was viciously assaulted and maimed and told essentially to just shut up and get over it and can now get revenge, even Aegon though the show fucked him up to the point that I can't like him as much as you do

the main base of tb’s crazy fans it’s that they’re fed by the show’s creators and narrative, comparing rhae rhae to saints and great rulers when she’s nothing of the sort, being constantly told how she’s so good and wise but never actually showing it (kind of how daenerys was portrayed in her ruling of slaver’s bay, brushing over the flaws that will be relevant to the plot later).

one thing i need as a disclaimer in every episode: no one in this story is a good person, no one is perfect, no one has the inherent right to rule or send thousands to their death. you can like a character and be on their side (i know i am), but be fr.

tbh i don’t need to invent anything to defend aegon, i just watch the shows and read the books. if you need to bash another character to prop up your fave, ask yourself some questions.

and this is why i like the greens: they fight tooth and nail for what they want, because it’s all they can do. they fight like prey, they can’t afford to lose and suffer like they’ve been doing all their lives. they’re what happens when survival, ambition and revenge crash together and i love it.

[eowynstwin]

same anon who sent the ask abt price: MW3's writing was embarrassing tbh. i agree 100% that narratively, its the most logical and sensible for price to be the one who takes the fall. what you wrote i flat out completely agree with, and its deeply disappointing that we are stuck with an extremely poorly written and rushed story. the game was a hot steamy pile. everyone was slightly out of character, they all growled their lines like mad dogs, and the missions were ass. i cant believe no one talks about the mission where you get anti arab hate crimed. what was that??? what was the reason??? (the only thing i liked about that game were the 9 minutes of nikolai. i just find him entertaining.) i was replaying mw2019 while super high and got to the mission where you threaten the butchers wife and son and just thought to myself; that lady and that kid are gonna have nightmares about price for the rest of their lives. that room is going to come back to them again and again and again. they literally did nothing wrong except the crime of being the butchers family. what price and gaz did is never going to leave them, and gaz was right to question price on that. of course, the game doesn't care at all. they're disposable NPCS for a shock value scene. i dunno, the fact that the game doesn't really give a fuck, and seemingly even condones what happened, just kinda hit different and i had to put the game down for the evening. i guess that hit at that moment bc i had also read a fic a bit earlier where the reader was price's civvy gf and gets kidnapped by his enemies. it bent my brain a bit bc, the thing in the fic is literally a canon event perpetuated by price, portrayed as a good thing by the source material, that now price is the victim of. it was a very weird feeling for my weed addled brain to try and process. think i blue screened actually. i wanna put price in a jar and shake him vigorously. pin him to a board like a entomology insect. i want to bite him. i do love him i swear. but maybe make him actually face a single real consequence for his war crimes? (disappointing that it will never happen on screen bc these games are all gas no breaks outright propaganda. not to mention real war crimes are happening constantly in front of everyone's eyes and going completely unpunished) sorry this is really long, i have no one to talk to abt these games and i dont understand my feelings toward that British man

Yeah. The thing about Price is that he's not a good person in the slightest. We write fiction about the kind of man he can be--the best version of himself, a version we can all stomach--but the real Price is distinct from that, and the best people in this fandom recognize that.

Soap and Ghost have some plausible deniability simply because we haven't seen them doing anything other than action movie stuff. Gaz is on the road to becoming Price--Price is doing his damndest to turn Gaz into himself--but he isn't there yet. (@391780 did a GREAT analysis of the driving scene in mw19 and how Price subtly manipulates Gaz, but I can't find it.)

EDIT: Early kindly provided.

We, as the audience, are not actually supposed to worry that much about the Butcher's family, because Price is one of the Good Guys who would never let something Bad actually happen. Infinity Ward does not take the Butcher's family seriously, and does not want us to take the family seriously, because they are just a convenient vehicle with which to move the plot along. Their presence is, in the end, shock value. We are meant to stare, wide-eyed, wondering is Price really going to go that far? while in the back of our minds knowing of course he's not, because he's our hero. He's just doing whatever it takes. The family is not meant to be anything other than fodder for Price's characterization.

Same with Samara. We are not supposed to care all that much about her, personally--we're supposed to marvel over Makarov's canny brutality, his bRiLLiANcE in recognizing the obvious fact that an Arab woman would make a perfect scapegoat for a plane bombing. Samara does not matter to MW3. Only the shocking way she dies. None of these Arab characters matter to Call of Duty--only the entertainment value of their pain.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I am reminded of when Price threw a man restrained into a bomb jacket off a balcony, with not a shred of remorse afterword. I'm forced to ask the question--who would Price scapegoat, then, if he felt justified enough?

And yeah, he's never going to suffer the consequences of his actions, because Infinity Ward doesn't think he's actually done anything wrong. We throw the word propaganda around a lot without actually defining it, but Price is emblematic of how the propaganda of Call of Duty works. Price does something reprehensible, and is shown to be justified in doing it--implying that real men like him are justified, too, because don't you understand how little choice Price had? Don't you get that there's no good choice to be made? This is how he has to act, and this is how all soldiers have to act, because war is a dirty business, and someone needs to be willing to do it for the benefit of the ignorant public.

The question of why any of this should be happening at all is never asked.

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Blaine Anderson from Glee vs Barok Van Zieks from The Great Ace Attorney

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Blaine Anderson:

LOVE: - "you know that post that's like "fandom will call a character evil and immature and then the character is just 15 yo" because that's what happens with blaine. he's just a sweet but socially inept kid with a lot of insecurities who's trying his best. compared to most glee characters he hasn't done anything wrong in his life. and yes he cheated on his boyfriend that one time, but he was super depressed afterwards (also this is glee literally every character has cheated and none have suffered as most as blaine because of it). in conclusion he's just a silly goose. my little princess <3"

HATE: (tumblr will not let me format this one bc its too long)

"A lot of people say he's the male Rachel Berry, and while I think that is absolutely a true statement, I actually don't mind his personality all that much. Literally everyone in Glee has a personality that ranges from inconsistent to downright horrendeus, so instead of talking about what he's like, here's some things he canonically does (buckle up, this'll be long): In season 2, when we first meet him, he's the leader of his school's showchoir. (redflag no.1/j) This gives him the freedom and authoritity to do a lot of stuff- not all bad, but he does serenade a closeted guy he doesn't know all that well, who works in costumer service AT HIS WORKPLACE, with a song about sex toys. (The guy in question ends up getting fired of course). He also gives some pretty hypocritical advice to his love interest, Kurt, about how he should try to blend in (hypocritical, cuz Blaine does the opposite and he's thriving under the attention), and he asks some insesitive questions, but those are all pretty excusable, or at least standard for Glee. In s3, him and Kurt are boyfriends, and he transitions school for him, which we could absolutely count as a decent thing, however it all kinda sours when he gets the part of Tony in the school's production of West side story. Why is this important? Kurt is a senior, and the performing arts university he's applying for is really competitive, so he needs all the extra curriculars and theatre experiance he can get. He asks Blaine to not aidition for Tony- which he agrees to- than promptly goes against that by singing one of Tony's songs at audition. He then gets offfered the role, doesn't turn it down, tells Kurt he should be happy for him, and honestly, BY GLEE STANDARDS, this is also pretty chill. Meanwhile: enter Sebastian Smythe, another contraversial character, who's now the new captain of Blaine's former showchoir, and who decides that either 1. Blaine is hot 2. Gonna use Blaine as an informat (His reasons are unclear tbh) Either way, he starts flirting with Blaine, who does end up rejecting his advances and telling him he's taken (though much later than it's probably ethical, idk tho, I'm aro). He (Blaine) really enjoys the attention though, so they end up keeping in touch. (Important for later.) Back to our main plot though; Blaime doesn't have sexual chemistry with his co-star, so the director tells him to lose his virginity (yes, you heared that right, it is fucked up). So he tries to sleep with Kurt, who of course, doesn't know that his boyfriend's sudden interest in him is due to directoral instructions. And then probably the most contraversial Blaine scene happens- see, Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian (who Kurt hates with passion) end up going to this gaybar. Blaime gets drunk (though he only drinks one beer on screen, so we don't exactly know how drunk), and tries to sleep with Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt is visibly upset, and tells him no multiple times. Blaime doesn't oblige, and Kurt ends up shouting at him, which Blaine...doesn't take well, and blames Kurt, then leaves by foot. (They end up having sex by the end of this episode btw. No, Kurt still doesn't know about the directoral instructions. Whether he does it out of love or fear that Blaine will leave him is unclear) So we already know these two are not very good at boundries and communication, but the writers say they're "soulmates" so apperantly it's okay? Anyway, this all culminates in cheating incident no.1, where Kurt meets a guy whom he shares similar interests with, and who gives him some very cheesy compliements. They exchange numbers, and text a lot. Blaine doesn't like this. He checks their texts in secret, and then sings a song in front of the entire Glee club about how he's being cheated on, to humiliate Kurt.

Kurt insists it's not cheating, giving the example that Blaine's doing the same/used ro do the same with Sebastian. Blaine says "that's different" and they leave it at that. Kurt apologises via song. S4- Kurt moves to New York. Has to work a lot, since rebt is high, and also gets an internship at vague, so he's quite busy. Blaine feels ignored, so he cheats on him with some guy we only see the facebook profile of. They break up. S5- Blaine has a crush in this other guy, Sam. (He's been trying to get Kurt back, so him moving on is a big deal). Except gay marrige gets legalized, and Blaine decides to propose to Kurt. So he gets back together with him, then bot a week later he arranges a huge public proposal where it'd honestly just be plain emberassing to say no, but dontcha worry, because Kurt accepts. They move to New York together. Blaine becomes insecure, because Kurt gets ripped thanks to his fencing lessons, meanwhile he lrts go of himself a bit, enjoying all the fine food New York has to offer. His reaction to this is to try manipulating/tricking Kurt into eating copious amounts of food too. (To be fair, Kurt's reaction to the situation isn't perfect either, but this is not about him, their actions can co-exist without one of them necessarily having to be "the right one") S6- Kurt breaks up with Blaine. Blaine ends up going back to Ohio, and dating the guy who bullied, non-consensually kissed, than threatened to kill Kurt. (The guy did have a redemption arc, but I still dunno how to feel) You might be wondering- "wow, this was so lpng and extensive", and you'd be right but also this was mostly romantic relationship centric. There's also a lot of stuff Blaine says to his friends that make me question my sanity, but this is Glee, so that's every character in basically every episode. What makes me hate Blaine isn't even JUST all this- it's the fact that in universe, he almost never gets called-out, people take his side, it's as if the writers are condoning his actions, and I Don't Like That. I'm all for liking morally grey, or even morally dispicable characters, as long as their actions don't get excused. Hell, I started out just mildly disliking Blaine, but a lot of people paint him as innocent and pure, and that didn't feel right. Then I was ready to like him BECUASE of his questionable morality- but turns out, the guy doean't have much else going on besides this. His personality is almost the same as Rachel, except Rachel's more...full? If that makes sense? Blaine is just...bland. And inconsistent, and boring, and I just Do Not Like Him At All."

Baron Van Zieks:

LOVE: - "man's 6'4", british, looks like a vampire, took a mental health break for 5 years thanks to the dead bodies that cropped up after he lost in court, and is uhhhhhh kinda racist which is a key part of his character. the explanation for it is divisive but he does grow as a character eventually?? i think he's fun. there's a bonus case exclusive to the 3DS version of the games where he mentions he was almost poisoned in one of the first cases he ever handled. he objects with his leg. he brings wine into court but rarely drinks it. he has bats in his office. we have no idea where the scar on his face came from. his voice actor did a subway commercial. i think he wants to believe he is the sane one in the courtroom but that title belongs to the 16 year old judicial assistant for the defense." - "I love to hate him tbh!!! He's a complex interesting character tied up in things outside of his control and being used by the antagonist to hurt people, isolated due to his grief and rumors from the public. He also sucks SO fucking bad and I want to punch him. Lovingly. But I love him I promise."

[findafight]

Can interest you in a potentially controversial Stobin headcanon in what sounds like a trying time?

If so; Steve and Robin share girlfriend at some point.

Not in the “turns out that time we were both dating girls named Crystal? We were in fact dating one girl named Crystal. Who *somehow* never put it together that my Steve and the Steve she was two-timing me with were in fact the person!”

(This does in fact happen - I’m thinking when Robin’s in college and has met like, three different Crystals (one of whom has parents that lived in the same commune as Robin’s! Such a shame girls named Crystal have been *ruined forever*).

It’s a pretty surreal break up for Crystal; not only are her boyfriend and girlfriend turn out to be actually best friends (in her defence, Robin has taken to calling him “Stevie” at this point and the way she talks about him really conjures the image of a standard preppy bitch who’s been Robin’s best friend since kindergarten, and Steve (in retaliation) tends to use “Rob” and “Robbie”, leading Crystal to believe his Robin is male), and seem almost as angry about this as they are about the infidelity.

Crystal’s attempts at explaining herself and apologising result in Steve retorting that he’s not even mad that she’d want to date Robin - Robin’s fucking amazing! If Crystal had just told him that was what he wanted, he probably would have been okay with it - which Crystal takes as Steve being a bitch, but is something Robin will point later as her realising that this is something she might be okay with.)

Anyway, I figure this is something that would happen when they’re in their 20s and/or their 50s. They’re either approached by a woman who thinks they’re a couple (“does it make our marriage more or less of a sham if we’re sharing a mistress?”) or they approach someone they both have a crush on a la Troy & Abed asking out the librarian.

I don’t think either of them would identify as poly, per se - it’s very much “if it’s you, it’s okay”, and if the girlfriend breaks up with one of them, it’s assumed she’s breaking up with both of them.

I just kind of like the combination of Robin and Steve as Platonic Life Partners, trying to figure out polyamory and just how absolutely Buckwild (Robin’s Wrestler name!) it would be for their [potential] girlfriends and anyone on the outside of the situation. Jon and Eddie just sat there, listening to Steve ramble about the situation bc it’s Robin’s date night and just…bluescreening. Argyle smiling and nodding “happy for you, man. I mean, sucks you’re off the market, but glad you’ve found something that works”.

one yes always interested in controversial takes tbh. two. omg yes exactly you are so smart anon

The Crystal situation!! so true this is absolutely something that would happen to stobin (also true I know a few queer women called crystal). bad luck in love that's them!!

I think Steve is like. mostly monogamous...unless his gf/partner is also dating Robin. like it would make sense to him I think. He'd be like well. this way we don't have to worry you things being weird about my Very Normal Friendship With Robin That Some People Thing Is Weird!

I think I've mentioned before the funny scenario of stobin going "hey me and my platonic life partner saw you across the bar and liked your vibes" and I stand by that.

But also funny is that Steve or Robin's girlfriend being absorbed into their dynamic and realizing that she is..... sort of dating both of them? And her being the one to bring up dating the other and Robin and steve going well how would that change things? and everyone realizing that it would probably only change the amount of kisses gf gets and going well that sounds cool let's try it!

Maybe in their 20s it doesn't work out but they try again in their 50s and they go wow! this was a great idea we were just young and it just didn't work out.

that's so fun. I want them to have crazy dating stories. I want Jonathan and Eddie to sit there going what the hell are these two doing? because the complexities of stobin's dating lives have always confused them even before the poly V started, and argyle just vibing listening to the double date night shenanigans he's being told.

[limpfisted]

Wyll ravengard is a very funny character because he literally just. Has no idea the terrible things wrong with baldurs gate

Hes like BALDURS GATE IS A JEWEL. It WOULD HAVE WELCOMED REFUGEES 10 YEARS AGO!

Maybe thats true. Ten years ago. I doubt it. But maybe. TEN YEARS AGO. (Tbh I hope it isn't bc that means ulder made the city actively worse LOL)

But descent to avernus is a canon and it takes place the same year as bg3

There were HUNDREDS of refugees from elturel. Even more than are outside the gate now from the absolute

And they ALSO were not allowed in. In fact, some of them are beaten in the streets by the very flaming fist that wyll's dad is in charge of. For the crime of being refugees, I guess.

If u read the 5e stuff about baldurs gate its clear that baldurs gate is a truly terrible and unsafe place to live if ur poor. Even if ur rich its unsafe, but then at least u can stay in the upper city and gamble all day long away from The Poors.

Its a place defined by inequality and crime but also culture and magic and pride

Wyll sees the best in it, he sees the pride and the people and the magic. He was privileged enough to see only the best in it

As much as I love the idea of wyll as a fairy tale prince returning home and everyone loves him---ulder being from the lower city and going versus the nobles is HARD and he has had to fight to keep his power and fight to keep the lower city safe from the guild and make bad deals and lbr to work with the flaming fist, to work with the evil ass patriars, he had to let some things slide

Wyll has his work cut out for him! Just as his father did!

And I think being grand Duke would present an interesting challenge for him as a character, in that he would not be able to solve problems by fighting monsters or killing devils. He has to deal with evils of injustice, even within the people who work for him who protect him and who he may have at one point looked up to

And that's extremely difficult

There is political intrigue and frustrations and tragedy to be had

Wyll genuinely has the compassion and empathy and charm to help baldurs gate.

BUT.

The point of wylls narrative and the stuff with balduran and ansur is very much a wake up call that the fairy tale of his fathers hero balduran is built on lies and there is no one great man that can save baldurs gate. Just like there wasn't one great man that built it

Gortash himself is like, a foil to this because he believes he's the one great man who can fix every problem with literal mind control

It is MUCH easier for wyll to just step away from baldurs gate after all this. And if u let HIM choose, that's what he does

If he becomes grand Duke and his fathers heart of the gate, he becomes responsible and beholden to things we can't imagine

And tbh? Wyll doesn't have that many of his own allies like his Father had. He has to rely on people like florrick, people like the flaming fist. People who respected his father, people who will talk over and take advantage of the 26 year old who stopped his education at 17

His story doesn't really end here, u know? It's really just beginning

In fact with an evil arch Duke everyone genuinely seemed to believe in dead, so many patriars dead, Duke Stephane dead, who knows what happened to vanthampur, the flaming fist had sided with gortash, who knows what happened to the actual upper city watch.

Literally and truly. The story of the absolute, and BALDURAN is finally over. But the story of baldurs gate? Baby thats just beginning

[ai-the-broccoli]

hmmm. tbh I wanna talk a bit about why I see misa as having bpd and how it ties into her comphet (or, even through an interpretation where she is not a lesbian, how it strongly affects her attachment to light), but I know that some people understandably don't like personality disorder hcs, so. I wonder if I should do it?

(some thoughts about nd hcs under the cut)

alright ofc I do know why personality disorder headcanons for characters - especially if they are villains or antagonists - are controversial. since, if it's someone without those doing this based on entirely incorrect, stereotypical conceptions of what the disorders entail, that would be very ableist and demonizing. (and then obviously there are also people who are either under the conscious impression that or hold the unconscious prejudice according to which PDs make you inhumane and evil, which they don't want to hear about their favourite characters)

but personally, speaking as someone who is cluster b themselves and has indeed done a decent amount of actual research on this, I wanna say that (aside from light, who def has cluster b traits imho but is more controversial in this regard. maybe I'll talk about it some other time) misa does def read as having bpd to me, even though I'm sure it's not the authorial intention, and I do think that's a point worth considering when we are analyzing her character.

... anyway. I strongly disagree with the idea that this kind of character hcs (especially when it's about, for instance, a disorder that is often formed and/or triggered through a person's experience and/or trauma to begin with, like personality disorders are) automatically make for reductive interpretations of a character, or in any sense automatically take away from other intriguing aspects or angles of analyzing the character.

those things do not have to conflict with each other at all, and sometimes may even complement each other; it's only a problem if someone does do it in a reductive way (like, it's bad if someone slaps reductive, inaccurate ableist stereotypes on a character and call it a day. and then also, if someone's hc that a character has X neurodivergence prevents them from analyzing the character in any meaningful sense that is not just a plain "they have X" and nothing else beyond that, not even about how having X influences the character and connects to their behaviour or themes etc., then I see the problem. but if they're able to analyze the character while having the nd hc then I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all).

e.g. "Light has OCD, autism, and/or a PD" and "Light initially became Kira because he simply can't otherwise accept the fact that he has killed two people" and "Light's story is a cautionary tale about xxx and how this can happen to anyone under his circumstances" are three interpretations can very well coexist, imo. see, I don't vibe with the idea that's like 'no he has to be neurotypical because the point of Light's character is that this can happen to anyone under his circumstances bc he is "normal" for someone in his circumstances', because... see, I don't think it's NOT normal to have one or more of the disorders mentioned above, when you're in the circumstances he is in?? like, that IS very much an 'anyone can be like that' thing to me. idk. anyway. pls tell me if you'll be interested if anyone's still here lol

[tea-and-secrets]

So I have this ex and found out something recently

Context: I have BPD and I’ve known it for a while, been diagnosed since 2020. I’ve got a good handle on it and treat people kindly and don’t lash out and tbh. If you met me IRL you could go for a pretty long time without knowing I’ve got it. But privately it is so hard to deal with.

I get so obsessive about stuff, and mean. And weird. And I know thought crimes aren’t a thing and most of me doesn’t think this stuff but the BPD part of me does. And when I can’t get a handle on an urge…

Like ok recently. I had this ex of mine and the relationship was…codependent. Toxic but not in an abuse way more like, codependent toxicity— it didn’t help that it was a classic “he’s an asshole to everyone BUT me and i was the shy insecure I can fix him” type person at the time typa codependent. With mental health issues on both sides (including s*lf h*rm (which he introduced me to) and s*icidality) and then also a few years after we broke up he dated my best friend, and then cheated on them and I had to be in the middle of that (my best friend and I clown on him for that to this day it was. So mf pathetic and a whole other story)

and then even after we broke up it was this weird vibe between us. But I didn’t wanna get back together. It was more like he was still enamored with me and I was just happy to have someone care about me deeply as a friend. And I guess I liked the power imbalance a little too. When I look back at our convos I cringe. But it was nice having someone I’ve known that long still care about me in that way. Someone who would pick me up in his car at the drop of a hat if I needed help. And I know he only did it because he was still into me. Still codependent and weird.

But anyways. I stopped talking to him a few years ago because of some behavior of his I couldn’t tolerate. I’ve been spending the last few years healing/getting over that codependency and the way our relationship and friendship made me feel (both good and bad) and how it fed into my BPD, obsessive tendencies, jealousy and toxicity. And getting better. I’ve made good progress and probably in a year or so I would have found myself full closure, even with my BPD!

But recently I realized on accident that he’s fully blocked me on EVERYTHING and let’s be clear here, he’s not a block people type of person—- he’s an actual asshole but he literally cannot care enough to block people and never has. He’s not even on social media often. He did however get a new girlfriend recently (he’s had a few over the years so me being in OR out of his life has never been an issue with that) and it seems like he blocked me around the same time that happened.

wtf????? Why does this bother me so much. It feels like I just had my closure ripped away from me. It feels like something that was done TO me which like, it was?? But I guess I didn’t need to know he was still thinking about me while I was still thinking about him yk??? Like that’s either a strong emotional thing that he decided to do that’s totally out of character or his girlfriend stalked my Instagram after realizing he followed me and made him block me. Which makes me feel some type of way. Like that was my chapter of MY life that he forcibly took 💀 that’s what it feels like in BPD headquarters anyways. OR his girlfriend was threatened by someone he doesn’t even talk to. Which BPD headquarters wants to take as a compliment. I cannot win.

The day that happened, I made a fake insta for a fake person and made it look as legitimate as possible just to try to follow him on insta and keep tabs. I like. Spent a good hour on it too. It was obsessive. I stopped just short of actually following him. Bc I feel like. That would be crossing a line.

But it’s hard not to follow through and be toxic and weird. And ok I know people have done worse with BPD, I’ve even done worse while much younger. But I’m at an age and a place in my progress where this feels so. UGH. I just. I don’t act on things like that often anymore bc USUALLY i can force the urge and obsession away. I feel so gross even having done that. But I still won’t delete the insta. And I want so badly to like basically cyberstalk this guy so I have “control” over the situation again. I literally don’t even wanna talk to him I JUST wanna keep tabs on him. I’m having a hard time not thinking about this. The only thing that’s helping is talking to friends about unrelated stuff but as of now we’re long distance and I gotta wait til the weekends.

I wanna be clear here I’m not gonna go any further bc I don’t think I could live with myself if I did, and I know I’m better than that. But the confession box is a confession box lol

.