#also still want to be spoiled by joanne

[blnk338]

COD HEADCANONS 3

COD HEADCANONS 1

COD HEADCANONS 2

REAP WHAT YOU SOW | GHOST X READER ON AO3!

Price:

Generally grew up with a pretty dull family life; parents were distant, especially his dad

Made a vow that he would not only be a good father, but he would remind those around them that they are watched over, whether they liked it or not

Dad taxation like it’s the end of the fucking world.

Oh you got a little sweet drink? Better not look away, he’s taking a sip

Buy candy at the gas station? His arm’s already careened around the side of the driver’s seat, asking you for some

Big on movies, but will absolutely fall asleep while watching them, then shoot up and tell you not to change the channel when you even touch the remote

Struggles a lot internally trying to deal with the fact that every mission might be his last with his boys, mulling over the loss of Alex, wondering if the same will happen to Gaz

Genuinely sees Garrick as the son he never had and knows that the kid admires him

It’s not often Price gets a hug or a pat on the back, but it’s hard for him to hide the wide smile that spreads across his lips when one of his team wraps an arm around him or pats his shoulder.

Survivor’s guilt to the max, man. Every mission is a mental preparation for the worst, and the very idea that he could be responsible for any one of the 141’s deaths weighs on him like all hell

Couldn’t decide if he wanted to get ordained or be the best man at Laswell’s wedding, so he did both. He sobbed as he read out his lines, then threw dad ass during the after-party.

Has a habit of calling his team, especially Gaz, “son” and has just gotten so used to it that he’s stopped correcting himself, and not a single member has brought it up seriously (aside from gag gifts for the holidays)

The warmest, most loving hugs out of the entire 141. The other's hugs are great, but there is so much genuine care put into every single bear hug of his. Each embrace holds you like it's your last, enveloping you in warmth as he mutters a few words of comfort, thanks, or both.

Wishes he could be a better father to his own daughters, but continuously finds reasons to stay in the military

Because of that, he is the absolute worst at discipline when he's on leave. He can scold as much as he wants, but his kids know he’s not being serious. Spoils them to not end.

His daughters also love Gaz and see him as an older brother

Gaz:

Like Price, there’s a lot of internal blame for everything.

Maybe if he shot first, or got to the site faster—maybe if he was better... those soldiers, those people, could’ve been saved.

Sees himself often as a shield, a hand in battle, and with that, sees himself as expendable. If it means seeing his team come back alive, he’d do anything to make sure that they’re okay.

Selfless to a fault. He’s taken more bullets, more stabs, and more punches than anyone else on the team during TF-141’s active timeframe. Price worries like hell over him because, on most missions, he comes back with at the very least a swollen cheek.

Considered smoking to take the edge off, but hates the taste of cigarettes and cigars, and prefers edibles over it all.

Even with that, he still tries to handle it “naturally,” insisting he’s alright and doesn’t need anything to cope, that the stress and anxiety will just pass eventually.

Refused therapy for a long time because he was afraid of getting worse, but eventually started going and has overall enjoyed his time

Was a parkour kid and then just… never lived it down.

Because of this, it’s nearly impossible to get away from the guy. Soap’ll pull pranks on him and have the guy in a dead sprint across base, leaping and vaulting off of boxes, crates, and other soldiers just to catch the Scotsman.

Bit people when he was a kid, too

Says “bruh”

“A woman? The only woman in my life is Joann Fabrics.”

Knows how to sew, patches up his clothes all the time, stitching his initials into the tags.

What can he say? He likes to keep his stuff to himself (plus with all of the stuff that Soap steals, if he doesn’t put a label on ‘em, they’ll be right in the lost and found)

Bit his nails pretty far down to the point where they hurt, so he tried out different nail polishes to keep himself from biting. When on the field, if he feels like he needs to bite them, he just sharpie’s them in (it works well enough for the guy)

Is completely content with drinking things right out of the fridge, regardless of who’s home. The milk you got yesterday? He’s just takin’ a quick swing, no worries, no really, it’s fine—just a sip, JUST A SIP—

Soap:

This guy plasters on a smile to cover up his crazy anxiety and intense paranoia; the responsibility he feels for his team, especially his lieutenant, is fucking crazy

He’ll take a bullet for everyone, but he’s more than willing to take whatever is needed for Ghost or Price, knowing they’re a higher rank, therefore sees them as more important. He holds Gaz in the same way, but he can't act the same because he's supposed to see him as equal; yet he would willingly take an RPG for the kid

Loves giving himself and his teammates spa days; face and hair masks, deep conditioning, threading eyebrows

Big on physical affection, but really relishes in the idea that he can do things for the people he cares about instead of hugs if preferred

The guy’s filled with so much love, it’s hard to contain, but he’s really really good at waiting and holding back for those who aren’t as into touching.

Like he knows Price loves hugs, so he’ll take any chance to pat his shoulder or include him in the fun, wrapping an arm around him, engaging him with the rest of the team’s shenanigans

Gaz loves the silly stuff with Soap, so they’ll pretend to make out or make fake moaning sounds, smacking the walls to make it seem like they’re fucking or something just to mess with any poor bystanders on base; adores how much shit he can pull with Gaz, so at the drop of a feather, he’s up and ready to fuck around and find out with the younger Brit. They are responsible for thousands of dollars in property damage.

Quality time with Roach is a big thing for the two of them since Roach seemingly always has something he has to do, and Soap can’t always help him (paperwork and such); just sitting in the same room, making light conversation, or doodling on the scratch paper while his fellow sergeant files papers is enough for him.

He knows Ghost isn’t huge on physical affection, so all of his touches never go past a short, half-embrace; usually landing on things like a clap on the shoulder or punch to the arm. Otherwise, Soap’ll run around doing tasks for him, helping him with the privates for the day, and other mundanities for his lieutenant. If it makes his life easier, Soap would tell him to consider it done before he even starts.

Sometimes wonders how good the team would be without him; if it all came down to it, what would he need to do to make sure that the 141 could manage without his support?

Big overthinker. Spends hours sometimes just cleaning the same knife over and over again, staring off into space, eyes blank as his mind tries to click puzzle pieces together

Thalassophobia

Still calls it a “slumby” instead of a slumber party

“It’s not a slumber party”

“YES IT IS WERE HAVING FUN AND WERE STAYING THE NIGHT IT’S A SLUMBY”

Its an abandoned warehouse in the middle of no where, there’s leaks in the roof, and the ground is damp.

Ghost:

Was a really anxious kid that ended up trying to cover it all up in his teens. Was actually kinda popular in high school; athletic, good-natured, and genuinely tried his best in his courses. There was always something sort of off about him though, he’d sit in class with a faraway look, spacing out, sometimes coming into school with eyebags for days.

Bit people as a kid

Wanted to go to college for computer engineering, but was highly discouraged and ended up getting into the military instead (as well as other reasons)

Still sometimes wonders about working with tech instead of using firearms, but those are just dreams, nothing more. He has a job to do now, it’s useless to think about anything but that.

Trusts every single member of the 141 (eventually Alej and Rudy) with his life. Is absolutely terrible at actually saying it, but would take a tank to the teeth to make sure they all end up alive. He isn’t willing to let them be selfless—he isn’t willing to give anyone up.

Milk drinker

Raw egg eater

Likes almonds, does not like cashews. Has never given a reason why.

Does not care for bugs.

“Why are you screaming, it’s a beetle.”

Doesn’t really get the whole deal about insects because they're usually so easy to take care of, but will remove them once everyone quiets down, taking a little piece of paper and cup, scooping up the little thing, and placing it outside. If someone's got a fear, he respects it and will take care of it, but he does it all with a neutral look on his face.

His main party trick is that he can swallow a cup of jello without blinking.

Just bottoms up, down the hatch, and done

Soap tried to do the same thing once and it ended up with him making a HOUGH sound and the jello, still fully intact, shooting across the room and splatting against the wall

Likes to write down jokes he thinks of on his arm; carries a pen everywhere

On that note, his arm and hands are his notepads. You can easily find random numbers, dates, a few mismatched words, and a small grocery list all on his non-dominant hand

Feels like he can’t ever get married or have kids because he’s so afraid of what happened to his parents will happen to him, and he never wants to do that to anyone, especially someone he loves

Still struggles with a lot of self-worth, denying the idea of a family or a stable future. It’s easier to not think about the future when you aren’t sure if you’re going to make it through the next mission

Is Normal British Guy #81 in his civvies, unless with the 141. He’ll wear a scarf or a mask for hunting or for winter, but he genuinely doesn’t wear shit during normal hours. If he's with one of his teammates, he'll wear a face mask of any sort.

One time, Soap was down south to pick up a specific brand of coffee he likes (yes, he’s particular), and Simon, who was getting some last-minute groceries, just stared at him for a good nineteen seconds before walking to the back of the store.

Soap didn’t know it was him.

... and he never will because Ghost’ll never tell him

Nosey nelly, this one.

Knows everyone’s info, for some reason.

He knows your address, and your social security number, oh, tell your mom “happy birthday.”

The team’s gotten used to it because he’s gotten better, but they all know that he’s seen their files.

it's all precautionary, doesn't intend for it to be creepy

[bteezxyewriter12]

Save Me/ 9

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 2k

Includes- Fluff, shower sex, public sex, wall sex, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag list- @mingtina

DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!

Series Masterlist

J POV

A few months pass since the attack and Han-jae still hasn't been caught

The last we were told was that Han-jae had left Korea and is in London now

That was a month ago

I'm going to start working again soon

I can't wait

I miss all the guys and I miss being around Yoongi all the time

I just miss my job, the guys and their antics

I've relaxed more and am starting to feel like myself again

I still get jumpy at times but not as much as I used to

Yoongi has also relaxed a little with his constant worrying

Yoongi is an amazing man and boyfriend

He makes me so happy and he spoils me so much even though I tell him to stop

He's always so gentle with me, so loving, caring and affectionate

From the way he acts as BTS' Suga, you would never really know how much of a softie he is and how much he loves to be loved

He's always holding my hand, has his arm around me, hugging me, kissing me, holding me

And he loves when I do the same to him

He loves when I sit with him while he's in his studio

I read, listen to music or use my tablet while he's working and he loves that I'm just there with him

And what amazes me is that I make him happy

He tells me that all the time and it makes me happy that he's happy

I love him so much

---------------------------

"Hey Jo, you ready to go?", Yoongi asks as he comes into the living room

"Waaaa, no, I don't wanna!", I pout

He laughs as he says, "C'mon jagi, I hate working out too but you need to do it"

"But I hate sweating"

"I know"

"And I'm all healed"

"Uh- huh"

"And I'm already stronger since we started"

"Yeah"

"And... And..", I pause not being able to think of anything else

"And I don't wanna!"

Yoongi looks at me with his arms crossed and one eyebrow up

I sigh, "Fine", and get up already dressed for the gym

"Seriously you're already dressed? What was that whole whining thing for then?"

"I thought I'd at least try and see if you'd go for it"

He shakes his head but is smiling

"Hey. Aren't you gonna sweat the dye out of your hair? Like when Tae was sweating green?", I ask

Maybe he won't wanna go if that'll happen

He had his hair dyed mint green again.

When he asked me what color he should do it, I told him to bring that back.

His hair was already blond so it was easy to do it that color.

I wanted a change too and dyed my hair a grey to light purple ombre

Yoongi picked the colors and I'm surprise that the colors worked so well together

"It's a light green not dark like his was. And even so, I don't care. So stop whining and let's go"

I pout at him again

He sighs, "The sooner we go the quicker we can come back and take a nap"

Mmmm a nap

Yoongi loves to sleep

And lucky for him, I do too

Naps with him is the best

Who am I kidding, sleeping with him at anytime is the best

"Ok, lets go", I turn and walk to the door, hearing him mutter to himself

---------------------------

"Are you trying to kill me?", I glare at Hyuk, the personal trainer

"No. Just make you stronger", he rolls his eyes

"Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me!"

"Careful, she bites", Yoongi tells him

"Haha, so funny", I stick my tongue out at him

Yoongi just smiles

I'm so tired and so sweaty

Hyuk already had me use the Lat pull down machine for my back, the bench press machine, crunches, sit ups and a leg press machine

Now he's making me use a cable bar for my arms

Yoongi is sitting at the bench press machine just watching me

"Hey shouldn't he be doing something too?"

"I'm resting", he smirks

"Not fair"

"Hey I worked out too! I need a second"

"Whatever", I mumble

"You picked a great girl Yoongi", Hyuk rolls his eyes

"I know. She's the best", he smiles at me

"Oh god, ok, you can stop Joanne. You did enough. I need to leave before you two make me puke"

I laugh as Hyuk walks away

I go over to Yoongi and kiss him

"Eww you're all sweaty", I make a face

"Uh so are you", he points out

"Yeah gross. Shower time", I say and turn walking to the showers, with Yoongi following me

---------------------------

I turn on a shower, get in and wait

A few seconds later Yoongi gets in too

I knew he was coming

Two people are not supposed to shower together because well, the gym is a public place

Not that it ever stops us

Yoongi pulls me close and holds me to him

We stand under the water, my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat

He kisses the top of my head and I look up at him

He leans down and catches me in a kiss

I can't get enough of him

The kiss turns heated and he pushes me against the wall

He starts kissing my jaw and my neck and I moan quietly

"Shh, jagi, don't make noise"

I nod as he reaches down and runs his fingers on me

"Fuck Jo", he groans, " Wet already?"

"Always for you naekkeo", I whisper

He picks up one of my legs and wraps it around him

He pushes his cock in slowly and I gasp at how good he feels sliding in, stretching me around his big cock

"Fuck jagi, you always feel amazing", he moans

He starts to move, in and out slowly, then gradually pick up speed

We're both trying so hard not to make any sounds, but some slip out

I can't help it

He's hitting me right in my spot and my entire body is alight with pleasure

"Yoongi baby", I whimper

"Yeah baby?"

"Go harder naekkeo", I whine

He growls and immediately starts pounding harder

My whole body is in bliss and I feel the pleasure mounting, getting ready to explode

"I wanna feel you jagi. Cum for me", he whispers

His words push me over the edge and I whimper his name over and over as my orgasm runs through me

He picks me up, both of my legs wrapped around his waist as he keeps going and says, "Again jagi. I love watching you. You're so fucking beautiful"

He moves harder and faster, splitting me open and it's fucking incredible

His hand moves between us, his thumb rubbing my clit hard, his lips all over my neck, leaving fire in their wake

I tighten around his length and I feel myself getting ready again

"Yeah baby, I feel you getting ready. Oh fuck, you feel good, I love being in you", he whines, "Cum on my cock jagi"

The pleasure becomes too much and I go over the edge again, releasing all over him

"Fuck, yeah, god", he moans as he sheaths himself inside me, coming too, moaning my name in my neck

When we finish he puts me down, kissing me, "So good baby"

I blush but smile at him, "Your so good naekkeo. Always"

We shower quickly and Yoongi leaves first

I wait a few minutes, turn off the shower and get dressed to go home

---------------------------

When Yoongi and I get home, we immediately go to bed

As I'm falling asleep I hear him start to sing to me

I love when he does that, when he thinks I'm completely asleep

I wish he would sing to me when I'm awake too

I love his voice, it's so beautiful but I know he thinks he can't sing

But he can

I fall asleep listening to his beautiful voice.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Yoongi POV

"Here it is", the man at the counter says

He places an open box on the counter

"It's been sized for her?", I ask

"Yes it has. The design is what you wanted, yes?"

"Yeah"

It's exactly what I sent them

I hope she loves it

I spent hours designing the ring

Our one year anniversary is coming up in a month

She's coming on tour with us again, like she used to now that she's back at work

And I'm going to ask her to marry me

I've been wanting to for awhile but I figure that I'd do it at a special time for us

I love her so much

I never want to be without her

I'm going to ask her when we're in Paris for the concert

So many people do it in front of the Effie Tower but I want it to be different

I'm going to do it at a place called "The Wall of Love"

It has "I love you" written on it in 250 languages

It's perfect for the perfect girl

I close the box and put it in my pocket

"Thanks"

"My pleasure", the man says

I turn and walk out of the store

---------------------------

"Did you get it?", Namjoon asks

"Yeah"

I'm waiting for her to finish Hobi's makeup so she can do mine

We're doing a photo shoot today

I watch her as she laughs at something Hobi says

Her laugh is amazing, her smile so beautiful

I'm so happy she's so much more relaxed

"Where is it?", Namjoon asks

The guys know I'm going to ask her to marry me soon

They're excited and happy for us

"I hid it in the dorm. Hobi has it", I answer

"He does?"

"Yeah. He was with me when I picked it up. He drove me and was waiting in the car"

"Oh"

"Yeah. I can't hide it in the apartment. She goes in every room. With my luck she'd stumble upon it. I don't want to take that risk. And even if she comes to the dorm to hang out she won't go in Hobi's room without him"

"Makes sense", he nods

"Naekkeo! Your turn!", she calls, waving me over

I go over to her and sit

When she turns to me, I pull her down for a kiss

She giggles and says, "You're gonna be good right? Not opening your eyes or scrunching your face to mess everything up?"

I smile, "No jagi. I'll be good this time"

She smiles and starts

She's so gentle when she puts the make up on

And she gives me kisses in between changing the make up she's using

The best makeup session ever

"Ok baby you're done."

I open my eyes and grin at her

"Aww Yoongi you're so pretty", she teases

"Yeah yeah", I roll my eyes

"Come on Joonie!", she calls him

I have to change my clothes for the shoot, so I go put them on

She is almost done with Namjoon when I get back, so I sit in the chair behind her

When she's done with Namjoon, she turns to me and smiles

"Hi Yoongi"

"Hi Jo."

She laughs, "You ok? Did you mess up your make up already?"

She leans down and inspects my face

"No jagi. I just wanna sit with you until I get called for the shoot.", I say, pulling her closer to me, my arms around her waist

"Ok naekkeo. I'm done with the makeup for today. I'm just gonna hang out here in case anyone needs a touch up"

"Um are you going to come and watch me during the shoot?"

"Of course baby. I always do. I love seeing you be sexy and adorable."

"Thanks jagi", I grin at her

It doesn't take long before I'm called

I get up and take her hand, then walk to the photographers

She stands behind the photographer, watching and smiling as I take the pictures

I can see how people can get nervous when someone watches them, but it's different for me

I like her watching, it relaxes me and makes me feel better that she's here with me

It makes it easier to act sexy and cute when I'm looking at her

When we're all done with the shoot, the guys ask us to come over to the dorm for dinner and to watch a movie and we agree, going to the dorm to hang out with our friends for the night

[pbandjesse]

We are in the car in our way home from Julien's show! It was so good! I haven't listened to much of his music but it was so beautiful. I really enjoyed it! I don't always love live music because it's to loud. But I really had a good time.

Honestly today was really lovely for the most part. I slept okay last night. But I woke up to some very distressed texts from James. They had lost their new gloves and were just falling apart being angry at themselves. And like I get it. They were expensive and stuff. But also. This is a fixable problem. And I hated seeing them being so mean to themselves over something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

It did make me realize something about myself and my family and how I was raised. I joke a lot about never telling myself no and getting everything stupid thing my little brain ever wants. And how I'm spoiled but not rotten!! And when James lost their gloves I was like. Oh this is fixable. And went on eBay and found some to replace them. Problem solved. James wanted to just beat themselves up, I wanted to just throw money at the problem. Which I think sometimes my family does. This is with all the love in the world because I know how hard my dad worked to be able to do that. If he couldn't fix it himself he would make sure it was handled. And I think I'm very much like that. If I can't make it, fix it, or find it, I'll just. Handle it. I know it's not particularly unhealthy or whatever. It's mostly just an observation about my family's love langue.

So I was a little distressed that James was distressed. But there wasn't anything I could do for them in the moment.

So I got up and got dressed and started organizing the apartment. This would be my big goal for the day. Putting things away. Making a plan for where things will live. I didn't have a ton of time before I needed to go but it was a good start.

I left the house around 930 and went to get breakfast before I got to the museum. And the museum was fun. I don't love doing the desk but I am getting better at it.

When I got there I hugged in James for a bit. They were still distressed but it would lessen throughout the day.

Their meeting got pushed back and I was already a little early. So I made a little walk around the musuem before I sat with James and got to work on my scarf knitting.

I made a ton of progress today. I got through the first ball of yarn I had in this color and started the next. I still will probably have to take the whole thing to joann's to find a color match. But we'll see. Maybe this will be a tube scarf.

Jack and Cindy came in and not only was it Jack's birthday (he did not tell me and I had to find out later) it was also Cindy's first day as an educator. Well at least it was her first day of paperwork. I'm excited! She's so lovely so I'm excited to have her as a coworker.

James went to their meeting and I had some guests come in. They wanted an audio guide and I couldn't figure out why they were all in Spanish and panicked a little. But I would figure it out with only minimal stress. And then I had two more people come in and that was it.

I mostly just got to knit and scroll on my phone and eat my pasta salad. Honestly a really ideal way to spend a few hours.

I did have to answer the phone a few times. Which was scary but mostly because I was sure I wouldn't be able to give anyone the correct information. But I only had to answer it twice and did a pretty good job. Maybe. I dont actually know.

James came down and took back over. And I headed out. I still had energy and I wanted to throw myself into my stuff at home before we had our cannonball run drive to Philly tonight.

I went home. And I knew if I sat down I wouldn't do anything. So I put on a podcast and got to work. I did a lot of moving around. I hung some stuff. I found homes for things.

While I was doing this Elizabeth let me know that the Friday group rescheduled so I didn't have to come in. And that was such a huge relief. I was really stressed about everything.

But she also reminded me I am there Wednesday Thursday and Friday next week. And I somehow double booked myself. So I had to quickly text Jessica and let her know and it's all sorted but that was very stressful for me.

I had disappointing people and I just have. A lot of things and a lot of things to juggle. Sometimes it's going to get messed up but I am trying my very best. And I hope that everyone is aware of that because I really don't want anyone mad at me.

I would set an alarm for 330 so I would know when to leave to get James from work and we could drive to Philly. But I had lots of time.

So I kept sorting in my studio. I cleaned up my desk a lot. Moved things around. I found all my Christmas gifts and put them in one box. And found all my in progress quilts and put them in another box. It is not done at all but it's a start.

I would really like to do a big purge before the winter. I used to be so good at purging stuff. But there has been a lot of anxiety tied up in my objects lately. I don't know what it is. But it has become a lot more guilt inducing to get rid of things.

James said they will help me but I am still nervous about it. I both wish I had nothing and also with I have more shelves so things would just be vertical. I love shelves. If wood wasn't so stupid expensive. Maybe I'll look into some planks.

I would eventually sit and have a sandwich. I also heated up my hot glue gun and fixed a few things that I had been putting off. And then I worked on my new iron on sweatshirt with my more accurate puhtok translation. Which I think is peak comedy. I did not have enough P,'s so I have to cut an R. But you cannot tell. I am going to embroider trees on the top with a million french knots. But I'm looking forward to another project. You know how I am.

I would lay down for a half hour. Just to rest a little. And then I was off to get James.

James ended up getting pulled into a meeting. So I stayed in the parking lot and organized the car a little. Moved some stuff around. Threw out the trash in the back. Mike let me know that James would be a little but that was okay. We had lots of time.

James wanted us to leave right at 4 but we would leave a little later then that. I just chilled knitting in the parking lot. And then once we were in the road I kept knitting.

James let me know some work drama. And vented a little. I told them about my afternoon. But really it was just a nice drive.

We were slightly worried about the world series traffic. But it would only affect us a little towards the end. And we would find parking around 630.

We got to the venue and it was still an hour before the doors opened. So we went to find something to eat and a bathroom.

We found a fancy little pizza place and got a tiny pizza that was upside down. Cheese with sauce on top. It was pretty good. I enjoyed the company more.

We met up with the rest of Julien's family outside the venue. Grace and David and Katie and George. And it was really nice to see them. We had comp ticket. We were on the guest list. So we waited by the door for those and just talked. I people watched.

Inside was a small stage room with a bar. And it was honestly lovely. The crowd was small but enthusiastic. And when Julien started they were so nice to listen to.

But I was also just enjoying watching everyone. The people dancing. The couples. The bassist had a great cloud sweater and the girl on the barricade was clearly their girlfriend and they made faces at eachother the entire set and it was super sweet.

There were two songs I specifically really like. The very last song was my favorite one. And then we were heading to the back to check out the merch. We got shirts and a CD. And waited for Julien to come out.

I ended up talking to David for a while. He does tree work and I was fascinated by that. I have been trying more to ask people specifics about themselves. I am very comfortable talking about me. Probably from art school. And I want to know more about others but they aren't comfortable just. Telling me after I tell them like I want them to be. So I am practicing actually asking. It's always interesting to find out about other people's lives.

And then the band was there. I asked the bassist where their cloud sweater was from. May have already found one on eBay. And gave Julien a big hug. He did such a good job and I am very proud of him.

We chatted for a few minutes but we wanted to get out of there before the next act. We said goodbye before things got to loud and we were out.

We found the car and got our car drinks. And decided we had enough coffee and water to drive straight back.

And that's what we are doing now. We are about half way home. And I am really excited to get a shower and go to bed. Today was a really good day.

I hope tomorrow is good too. I don't have to rush to puhtok in the morning to set up because the group isn't coming on Friday. But I do have two canneries. One I'm leading. I hope it's another good day with great people.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well everyone. Stay safe!! I love you!!

[nct-lian]

nct 127’s relation to lian

TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI

taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((

such a soft but overlooked duo

will appreciate each other forever and ever

lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny

remain each other’s hype man and woman

taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity

promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter

lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one

he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral

they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA

lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram

taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes

he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-

he also used to help her with her homework :(

cried when lian went on her first date

“my child is growing up (´∩｀。)”

had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though

JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN

johnny is her dad, period

no questions asked he is her father

will give her piggyback rides all the time

he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping

at 6:00 am

he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed

he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!

whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((

speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her

if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh

because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it

he was NOT embarrassed

“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”

kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video

“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“

he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be

everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ･x･

it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized

TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG

has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny

“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“

whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister

“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”

one of the first members that she was comfortable with

lian said that he was her role model :’(

as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten

because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters

but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵

she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day

he cried

declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies

taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it

always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo

he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her

instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D

“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”

taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

YUTA + LIAN: YUN

totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah

yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed

did i mention obsessed?

he’s jealous of everyone :(

yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian

bye if that’s true-

hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,

“mine. go away”

i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram

lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((

but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)

yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!

we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him

how do we know this, you may ask?

it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight

he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort

lian says that he’s very pretty

much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music

DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO

another member of the lian protection squad

doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake

it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better

will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian

was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him

said “no” and walked away

lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)

they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm

doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time

he spoils her SO MUCH

like so much

half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung

has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times

“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”

they take such pretty instagram pictures :((

at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0

not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love

disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes

“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”

JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI

not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|

but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)

jaeli + yun love triangle anyways

jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much

once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her

makes sure to be near her as often as possible

once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)

“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”

didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way

*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl

it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´～｀)┌

lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks

just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining

johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian

sad,, i know

lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets

continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab

jaehyun smiles at her for no reason

JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO

an instant bond formed between them when they first met!

jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(

gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her

buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!

liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon

she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-

an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo

nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member

maybe because lian said he was

“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”

*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*

they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand

even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes

they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together

more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay

jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)

their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven

lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/

MARK + LIAN: LIMARK

leader of lian’s natural length hair committee

like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-

mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!

they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean

mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes

has to remind himself they’re like siblings

lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!

it was adorable :((

lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to

they had a fight in 2019

mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ

mars bar, markie, mork, marko

AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-

he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit

someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (；⌣̀_⌣́)

they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other

“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*

“what’s so funny (゜-���)” — interviewer

HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK

haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas

calls her short all the time

“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”

they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking

they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them

but despite this, they love each other very much

hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad

and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them

limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark

there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-

haechan loves her hugs :((

like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????

lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”

“shut up <3”

hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018

she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far

he goes to her for dance advice

during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ

[lilyshadowwriter]

Gen 5 Recap: Joanne Winters

As the title states, this is a recap of Generation 5, which is so well underway and nearing its close that it is actually a summary of the entirety of Joanne’s story. As such, it is riddled with spoilers, so if you’re planning on reading Generation 5 and don’t want to be spoiled, AVOID READING THIS.

If you simply want a refresher or want to jump into this generation without having to read the rest though, THIS IS FOR YOU. I hope it helps!

So, without further ado....Generation 5 Recap beneath the cut....

Generation 5 Heiress: Joanne “Jo” Madeline Winters

Joanne is the fifth-generation heiress of Different Winters. She was born to James Winters and Madeline “Maddie” Cinders when they were only 16 years old. Having already struggled with depression on and off throughout her life, Maddie getting pregnant at 16 and being kicked out of her house by her father sent her spiraling into her deepest episode of depression yet, eventually leading to her taking her own life before Joanne was even two years old.

After losing Madeline, James spiraled into a depression of his own, taking Joanne and moving away to Starlight Shores, where he lived in isolation for years and turned to drinking to numb his pain. Some of Joanne’s earliest memories involve witnessing her father collapsing drunk, and she might have lost him too if it hadn’t been for the fact that a close friend (and crush) of James’ from high school, Candice Price, finally found him after one of the books he wrote became a Best Seller.

She got him the help he needed and stood by him through all of it, even when most would have understandably given up. Candice was such a permanent presence in their home that Joanne grew up thinking she was her biological mom and didn’t realize otherwise until she was told in elementary school. Even then, James and Candice concealed the truth from her about Maddie’s fate, concerned that she was simply too young to hear it.

During this time, Joanne drew comfort and reassurance not only from Candice, who fiercely protected her from what James was going through, but also from singing. Whenever her dad was experiencing his worst days, she would turn to singing as her escape, even staying late after school so she could sing on the auditorium stage and dream of better days—of fame and fortune and a glamorous life in which all was wonderful and no one hurt.

After a long and emotional struggle, her father recovered, and James and Candice married, having four children of their own who Joanne loved and took care of, never missing an opportunity to help with them. She also learned the truth about what happened to her biological mother and unfairly blamed her for “everything shitty that has ever happened to this family.” James tried his best to explain and convince her otherwise, but she was still left with a bitterness toward her that remained for several years. 

Again, Joanne’s primary means of coping was singing and her dreams of obtaining fame at any cost only grew.

Just how high a cost became apparent in college when she received a contract offer from a prominent recording group after upstaging her best friend, Hannah, during a concert performance where a scouting agent was present. It was after receiving this contract offer that she also broke up with her long-term boyfriend at the time, Oliver, as she realized that his dreams of marrying her and having children, did not line up with her dreams of being a star. Her father warned that the contract deal she was offered wasn’t at all ideal as they’d have total control over her image, but Joanne didn’t care, eventually cutting ties with her family as well in pursuit of this dream.

Joanne succeeded in making her dream come true, becoming an internationally acclaimed pop star, but the cost proved to be too high, as along the way she lost not only her friends and family, but also herself. She became someone awful she no longer recognized. 

After such a lightning fast rise came a thunderous crash, and Joanne turned to drinking and abusing prescription medications to cope with her increasingly suffocating feelings of loneliness and depression. This led her to the brink of taking her own life, as her mother had done, but her father quite literally pulled her from the edge of a balcony after receiving a tip from one of Joanne’s coworkers (a sound specialist named Gabriel), that she wasn’t doing well.

This eventually led to a slow and rocky road to recovery as Joanne worked to accept her past (including her biological mother), find herself again, and break ties from the company who essentially owned her. Her parents helped with this, and so too did Gabriel, who gradually became more than a co-worker, but a trusted friend and eventually, the man she fell in love with.

Gabriel, however, wasn’t without struggles of his own, and their newly budding relationship nearly ended when he found it too difficult to be with Joanne when still mired in grief from losing his first wife, who was murdered five years past. It was only with the help of his best friend, Ryan Fitch, and his grandmother, Camilla, who raised him as her own after his parents died, that he eventually found the courage to move forward, and a new hope and love in the woman who managed to bring light (and music) back into his life again.

Together, Joanne and Gabriel started up a band of their own called Convergence. It was small performances and good fun at first, but soon enough they were signed by a company called Freezer Bunny Music, founded by Gabriel’s old friends and band mates, Sammy Kent and Dante Leighton. Through this, Joanne achieved her own fame with Gabriel, finally writing and performing her own songs, in her own style.

Not long after, Gabriel proposed to Joanne and the two married surrounded by family and friends, no longer alone and at peace with themselves. 

Different Winters last leaves off with the birth of their first and only son, Milo James Winters, who they’d nearly thought they’d never have due to difficulties conceiving. 

Now, they take on their new roles as parents, all while navigating the ups and downs that life is sure to bring....

[happymetalgirl]

Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper”.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

[introvertguide]

M*A*S*H (1970); AFI #54

The next film on the AFI List is what is often called a dark comedy, M*A*S*H (1970). This was a highly rated movie by critics although it was overshadowed by Patton that came out the same year. The film earned nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Editing while winning for Best Screenplay. This is the first major feature length film for director Robert Altman after years spent directing for television. This experience is very apparent because the film experience is like binge watching webisodes online. Many short stories that come together around a group of characters in a specific setting. I want to go over the story before any further critique and I will break it down like episodes of a TV show. Oh yeah...

SPOILER ALERT!!! THERE IS A LOT TO THIS FILM SO REVIELING THE PLOT WON’T REALLY SPOIL THE EXPERIENCE, BUT I WANT TO BE SURE TO WARN ANYBODY BEFORE I START SPOILING DETAILS!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------

The film starts with the well known helicopters flying in with wounded soldiers with the theme of “Suicide is Painless.” These same shots were either used or simulated for the beginning of the television show. The tone is set to be a rather somber war film that deals with injuries and death in battle...until one of the groups moving the stretchers falls over and the tone becomes uncertain. 

We then meet two new surgeons that are assigned to the 4077 unit. They are Captain Hawkeye Pierce (Donald Sutherland) and Captain Duke Forrest (Tom Skerritt). They are insubordinate smart aleks who take a jeep without a driver and go off to the medical outpost where they are assigned. They immediately run into Major Burns (Robert Duvall) with whom they share an officer’s tent. Duke and Hawkeye have a rule breaking style that does not mesh with the extremely strict and religious Major. The two immediately ask for the Major to be moved. They get a new tent mate in Captain Trapper McIntyre and we have our three doctors. Also in the camp are Colonel Blake (Roger Bowen), Major “Hot Lips” Houlihan (Sally Kellerman), the dentist “Painless” (John Schuck), and Lieutenant “Dish” (Joann Pflug).

The first situation is dealing with Burns. He is indoctrinating a local teen by having him read the bible. Not really too bad. The man is annoying and I couldn’t remember why he got such a bad rap. However, he blames an assistant (who is not a nurse and played by Bud Cort) for the death of a soldier when the man was going to die anyway, and Trapper takes exception and punches Burns in the face. Burns then starts to court the new Major and the three docs broadcast them being intimate over the loudspeaker. She tells Burns to kiss her hot lips and gains her nickname. Hawkeye rags on Burns about the incident until the Major attacks the Captain and Burns is taken away for psychiatric discharge. The three doctors respect Houlihan’s nursing skills, but they still really hate her neurotic adherence to the rules.

The next situation involves the dentist, Painless, who was unable to perform sexually with a visiting nurse so he believes he is gay and wants to kill himself. The doctors form a scheme to give the dentist a pill that will knock him out and also give him an erection (like a Cialis sleeping pill). Painless believes the pill will kill him and everyone says their goodbyes. All the surgeons have dinner together in a scene reminiscent of the last supper and then Painless is given his pill and lays down in a coffin while a reprise of “Suicide is Painless” plays in the background. Once Painless is out, a good looking nurse who is about to leave for home, Lieutenant Dish, is convinced to have sex with the dentist to convince him he is not gay. It works and the Lieutenant leaves in the morning and the dentist changes his mind about dying.

There is a brief interlude where the docs wonder if Hot Lips is a natural blond. To find out, they set up a scheme in which they drop open the side of a shower tent while the Major is there so they can see her pubic hair and compare. It is a rather mean prank that the whole camp is in on, and Houlihan goes to Colonel Blake and complains that he lets the surgeons get away with everything. He tells her to get out because he is sleeping with a nurse and drinking alcohol that was brought in by the three doctors.

The third situation involves Trapper and Hawkeye going off to Japan to perform emergency surgery on the son of somebody with influence. While there, they also use the facility to help a baby of one of the local prostitutes. They are caught with the possibility of legal repercussions, but blackmail the local officer with pictures of him with the prostitute. They get their way and are able to go back to the 4077. When they get back, it turns out that Duke has been sleeping with Hot Lips because he likes blondes.

The final situation is a little out of the blue but perhaps the most well known aspect of the film. The 4077 is challenged to a football game by local evacuation unit 325. The two camps both get ringers to play as there is a $5000 wager on the game. The 4077 holds back their ringer for the first half and sabotage the best players of the 325th so they can increase the wager and the odds at halftime. It works and the 4077 bring in their ringer and are able to win on the last play.

The end is very much like the beginning in that Hawkeye and Duke are given their papers to go home and they steal the same Jeep to leave together. There are no closing credits but the actors are all mentioned on an overhead announcement that breaks the 4th wall of the film. Very creative and a pretty satisfying ending.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like I said at the beginning, this doesn’t really feel like a film but more of a series of episodes. It is no wonder that it translated so well to television and became one of the most popular shows of all time. There was only one actor that went from the movie to the TV show and that was Colonel Blake’s secretary known as Radar, who was played by Gary Burghoff. This is one of the few films on the AFI list that you can watch in parts or step away from and not really miss anything. It was a lot different from anything that had been done before, but it does seem a little incohesive.

My mom is not a fan of this film specifically because of the way that these three doctors treat everyone else. Major Burns does not really deserve his fate and the nurses are constantly used for their sex appeal. The three are incredibly mesogenistic, Duke is kind of racist when there is a discussion of a black man staying in their tent, and Painless would rather die than possibly live his life as a gay man. All of these characters are in a horrible situation, but the audience is supposed to automatically favor the flippant care-free doctors. Burns and Houlihan are not really played out as terrible people but we are supposed to laugh as these surgeons torture them. The joke really doesn’t hold up.

I really think that this movie is a great time capsule for the time period. Men were being drafted to go off to war and it was believed that they were being stripped of their humanity and turned into killers. Vietnam was a war that many Americans didn’t want to be a part of so the idea that the war experience could be good with the right attitude appealed to many. The graphic nature of the surgery scenes made the situation feel real so the movie going audience cheered for those men who could do their job while keeping their sanity and their frat boy sense of humor intact. Again, that is not the humor of the nation currently so the gags don’t really hold up. It does give the viewer a glance into the mindset of the audience at the time.

After Nashville, I don’t have that much to say about the cinematography. Altman definitely has wide shots in which a lot is happening, but it is set at a small army camp in which it is hard to tell the actors in uniform apart. A lot of the action is lost. Also, there are far fewer characters in this film than in Nashville. Altman’s TV roots are much more evident in this film. That being said, the constant change really helps to move the movie along and I would say it is up with Raiders of the Lost Ark as far as quick pace.

So does this film deserve to be on the AFI list? I’m actually going to say no. The TV show that was inspired by this film made for some of the best episodic story telling on the small screen, but you can’t really give that to this film. The comedy really doesn’t hold up and the lack of any cohesive story lasting more than 15 minutes is very detrimental. Would I recommend it? Yes I would. It is fun and a pretty easy watch. I am really just not that sure how it got on the AFI list. It wasn’t highly awarded and many people don’t know there even was a movie before the TV show. It is an interesting bit of history, but it is no big deal if you skip this one. Watch the TV show instead.

[heroofpenamstan]

WIP DAY: #1 & #2

Thanks for tagging me, @shallow-gravy and @nightwingshero! x ( Also, this includes a sneak peak prototype of that hypothetical wedding gifset we mentioned, coming in at #1. 👀👀 )

Tagging: @ariestals, @jacobseeds-mainhoe, @hawkfurze, @shellibisshe, @mackie-hattwie, @f0xyboxes @whoever won’t get offended if I tag them and want to do it!

1. First frame of one of the many gifs I am hoping to finish ASAP. ( This is going to grey me, but Wren and John are a personal fav, and @nightwingshero is a talented champ who deserves it. It will look better in the end I p r o m i s e. )

2. she’s mine; she’s mine.—unedited (we die like men) snippet. ( Jacob and Jo (what a surprise); not worth publishing since it's quite generic—hunt the Dep kinda fic, but wanted to self-indulge the other day. Pardon my terrible writing, oof. )

[...]

Jacob's eyes rake through the assortment of photographs littering the wooden table, colors and shapes coiling the muted surface. He tries to tune out John's appraising coos and Faith's honey-laced compliments on a job well done, and Nancy's fucking beaming in the seat opposite of him.

As his eyes zero in on a snapshot laying closest to his scarred forearm, Jacob has to begrudgingly agree. 

It took ten minutes to seize most of the Sheriff's department from the moment Joseph's wrists were clasped in steel, another twenty to pull the Marshall out from the river bank, ( barking, until he wasn't, ) and another forty for Deputy Nancy to arrive at the designated location, thick file in hand and her uniform gone and replaced.

His little brother had thrown the images and documents askew on the table and, the three Heralds, like some medieval warlords, had their pick of spoils of war. Their ‘sister’ already had her Faithful drag the unconscious Marshall down to the bliss-stocked pits of her bunker, as per Joseph's command. 

John, having had enough embarrassing, dirty spats with Hudson in the past, some more public than others, had gleefully shoved her into one of his reaping trucks heading to the Valley.

And Jacob—

Jacob wonders how long the cocky little fucker will last with his Judges up North.

Calloused fingers come to pinch a photograph next to his arm, bringing it up to his face upon closer inspection. 

( Ah, yes. They still have these two to worry about. )

The snapshot had captured a chaotic 4th of July barbecue party—a staff get-together, according to Nancy. At the epicenter of the aggressive display of American flags and mustard stains and pre-mature fireworks, is the elderly Sheriff Whitehorse, button-up shirt wet from the water gun clutched in Pratt’s hand. Underneath his bicep stands the only Deputy that has managed to escape their grasp, two hot dogs cradled in dainty hands.

His fingertip finds her face easily among the countless braids hanging around it, travels from her temple to trace at her defined jaw. He tilts his head ever so slightly to take in her furrowed brows and squinting, dark eyes.

This one was still a bit of a mystery to them all. 

She was an outsider, just like them; a recruit from one state over, from what John managed to pry out during one of their brief encounters regarding one of their men carrying a blowtorch into a bar.

“That’s Jo,” Nancy chimes in, as if he asked for her fucking input. “Joanne Burton, the new probation officer from Idaho. She’s a good kid, but—” the older woman leans in, reminding Jacob of a caricature of a gossiping housewife leaning over a fence. "—A former junkie!” 

Nancy throws her arms out, and Jacob finds Faith’s hands tangled in her dingy tresses ironic. 

“Can’t trust 'em lot; it’s only at Earl’s benevolence that she got hired in the first place. Don’t suppose she’ll be climbin’ any ladders anytime soon.”

Faith’s fingers, carding through the older woman’s hair, had ceased since her jabs first came in, but her smile remained.

“Is that so?” Jacob can feel John’s grin from behind him as he plucks one of her photos from the pile. He has several of those clutched in a tattoo hand, ready to print them out on wanted flyers like it’s the Wild West, no doubt—Jacob’s seen him do it before. “We’ll give her to you then, dear sister. That way, the Deputy will be dealt with swiftly by your hand.”

His brother’s tone sounds dismissive and final, but Jacob has her file opened in front of him by now and—

His eyebrows shoot up.

A slight smile curves at his lip.

No wonder Whitehorse hired her, Jacob muses as his eyes flit through the various reports and praises and awards—she is good. 

If it wasn’t for her history of drug abuse, Jacob was damn sure she wouldn’t be here slavering away at Hope County breaking up scuffles and swatting Oregano from young punks.

He turns his head back to the photograph resting in his lap in silent contemplation. 

Jacob recalls that very same face scowling underneath the Montana summer sun, a palm cupped at her brow to steel and steady her glare—directed at him upon seeing him rough-handle some of his men when the cops were called up on the outskirts of his territory.

Just a bit of good ol’ hunting, Dep, he remembers saying to her, recalls seeing the tension in her shoulders that did not leave her form until she had cruised out of his hair.

( The Mountains go radio-silence, afterwards. The first, true sign of their family’s takeover, besides the spike of Bliss use in the Henbane and the Trojan Horse rolling in the form of John and his real estate packed with their strapped troops. )

“—I’ll arrange for my Angels to—”

“—It’s okay, Faith,” Jacob cuts in suddenly, and every eye turns to the eldest Seed in silent question. He doesn’t know what compels him to say it. Perhaps it’s the potential the girl carries, or her resolve and disdain he’d like nothing more but to crush. Maybe it’s his curiosity to see that remarkable face of hers contorting in sheer rage as she cuts through the competition, blood-spattered and blazing—

The reason doesn’t matter in the end, for Jacob has made his mind up already, and with a slight, sardonic smile, elaborates: 

“I’ll take her.”

[365days365movies]

January 6, 2021: Last Action Hero (1993) (Part 1)

Let’s have some fun, shall we?

Comedy is my favorite genre, and I obviously also love action. So, when looking at the subgenres to cover this month, action-comedy most certainly was at the top of the list. But what exactly is action-comedy?

Exactly what it sounds like, funnily enough. Action-comedies rely on physical action sequences to further the plot, but also inject dialogue with humor and jokes throughout the script. Entertainment and amusement combined into one beautiful, succinct package. I’ll be judging the writing for these movies on how much they made me laugh while watching it. That said...

OK, so, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Last Action Hero. Schwarzenegger isn’t exactly the most emotionally expressive actor in the world, as you’ve probably noticed. And expressiveness is somewhat necessary to express humor. Look at Eddie Murphy up there, and see how expressive he is. Schwarzenegger...doesn’t have that. At all. But, this movie could still be funny! Shane Black wrote it, and he wrote one of my favorite guilty pleasure Halloween movies, The Monster Squad. So, I’m looking forward to this movie for that in and of itself. And with that...

 Recap

We start with a sick guitar lick on Christmas Day, as a group of cops close in on a criminal known as the Ripper holding children hostage at an elementary school. But then...Jack Slater (played, naturally, by Arnold Schwarzenegger) arrives. And yes, this is a parody character and scene, meant to lambast all of the stereotypical renegade cop tropes that I’ve literally never seen in a movie. Like, I guess Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop have it, but I think this character concept has been Flanderized into...well...Jack Slater.

Slater kicks a cop through a window with a Schwarzenegger-esque action line, and CRUSHES A RADIO LIKE A NAPKIN. I appreciate Schwarzenegger making fun of himself like this, and we’ve only just begun. Jack goes through banter with the Ripper (Tom Noonan), who...is unironically terrifying. Holy shit, that guy is creepy as fuck, and his stylized ax is intimidating as hell. And as he holds Slater’s son hostage out of revenge, the two face off with some cool action beats, and...

...Shit, I think I want to watch this movie. And I don’t mean Last Action Hero, I mean the in-universe movie that our actual main character, Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) is watching. Danny’s a big Jack Slater fan, and one of the only patrons of a movie theater owned by Nick (Robert Prosky). Nick, a kind old man, invites Danny to see the next Slater film before anybody else. And honestly, I get it. I’d watch this movie series unironically if it existed, real talk. Mostly because it seems fun.

Danny’s skipped school just to see this movie, and he walks into his English class, where the teacher shows Lawrence Olivier as Hamlet. Fun fact! The English teacher showing it is played by Joanne Plowright, Olivier’s real life wife! Very sweet! Anyway, Danny, bored by a goddamn classic movie, conjures a different movie in his head.

Fuck yes. I need this movie to exist. 

We learn from Danny’s mother (Mercedes Ruehl) that his father has recently died, and he spends far too much of his time watching movies at Nick’s theater. I look forward to this revelation never being explored. As he’s headed to the theater when he isn’t supposed to, he opens the door at the exact wrong time, and A ROBBER BREAKS INTO HIS PLACE, OH SHIT! Confronted with the type of real danger that he’d see in an action movie, and with no action hero to save him, the robber finds nothing of value and leaves the place. He gets rescued by the cops eventually, and they tell him to go home. But, no, he goes...to the movies.

Mom might have a point there, sport.

While he’s there, Nick brings him in, and begins to monologue to him about his past in the theater business. And that monologue introduces the MacGuffin of the film: the Golden Ticket, given to Nick by Houdini himself, and an alleged portal to another world.

So, is this gonna be more of a Pagemaster situation, or a The NeverEnding Story deal? The Golden Ticket is torn for admission, Danny sits down, and the movie-in-a-movie begins in earnest. In the film, Slater’s cousin Frank (Art Carney in his last film role) is being held hostage by the crime boss Vivaldi (Anthony Quinn), and his henchman...one of the most immediately visually interesting characters I’ve ever seen in a film...in a FILM.

Benedict (played by Charles Dance), is immediately a fascinating character, essentially a non-Marvel Bullseye, and a gunsman with flawless precision. And yeah...I dig it. Oh, how I dig it.

Jack Slater arrives in his snakeskin boots, and discovers Frank, who delivers a message in the cheesiest death sequence I’ve ever seen, followed by the cheesiest bomb compound I’ve ever seen, followed by a bigger explosion than anyone would’ve expected, FOLLOWED by...OK, look, the references to other action movies in this are already ridiculous and all over the place, and I refuse to spoil them all for those of you who’ve never seen this movie.

By the way, I gotta make a comment about Danny real quick. Watching this many action movies may have made him a little...detached...from reality. I say this because he expressed no shock or emotion during or after the robbery, then went immediately to the movie theater, and had no reaction whatsoever about the death of the two cops in the movie. Little budding sociopath, that Danny.

Although, that might change, now that the ticket’s getting all magic-y, and a stick of ACME dynamite (actually in the film, I swear) makes its way into the theater. It explodes, and Danny inexplicably (magically, even) finds himself in the movie. So, Pagemaster, then.

Danny’s complete lack of reaction and emotion in this situation confirms my theory on him being a liiiiiiiiiiittle detached from reality. But then...the most gloriously stupid thing I’ve seen this month happens.

Arnold proceeds to make a pun that is NOT “Nasty brainfreeze,” and I am disappointed forever. Who wrote this? Who wrote this?

We get a car chase fueled with jumps, gunfire, puns, a casual mention of premature ejaculation, and Coca Cola product placement, all accompanied by Danny finally showing a modicum of reaction to the fact that he is IN A FUCKING MOVIE. REACT MORE, DANNY. At his age, I would have soiled myself immediately. At MY age, I would soil myself if this happened to me! Anyway...

OK, I just have to say this now: this movie has some of the most insane shots and set-ups that I’ve ever seen, and by GOD, I am here for it. Like...Did you SEE the motorcycle dress girl panic while a man WAS ON FIRE IN THE BACKGROUND? Earlier, a car does an INSANE jump and crash and explodes in the BACKGROUND, and the movie just treats it like a pigeon flew on set! Nobody cares! THE SCENES IN THIS MOVIE MAKE INSANITY AN ART FORM.

Anyway...we get to the LAPD, and...HOLY SHIT. IS THAT…

Was that Sharon Stone as Catherine Trammel from Basic Instinct, and Robert Patrick as T1000 from Terminator 2? I...but...wait...if...how...I’m broken now. 404, blue screen, reboot, update needed, WHAT?!? I...just...SO many questions, and this movie better answer them.

We see some added insanity, including a man with a houndstooth suit which I DESPERATELY WANT but could not pull off. There’s literally a buddy cop generator, where we also see a rabbi cop, and an Amadeus reference is dropped as F. Murray goddamn Abraham (playing a cop named Practice) appears in this movie, and THEN...an animated cat cop sexually harasses a female cop. I am not joking.

Am...am I insane? Also, if I was in the theaters watching this movie-in-a-movie, I would be both angry and confused as to what in the FUCK was happening!!! WHY IS THERE AN ANIMATED CAT COP IN MY JACK SLATER MOVIE? WHO DIRECTED THIS BULLSHIT (in universe)?? Also that cat was recently suspended, and is also one of their best men.

And then, Danny uses his knowledge of the Jack Slater franchise to break down the barriers of repressed affection between the chief and Slater, and it’s briefly heartwarming for some reason. Anyway, they’re now suspicious of his knowledge of Slater’s life, and this leaves to the inevitable buddy cop pairing of Jack Slater and Danny Madigan. This art-deco something walks by…

...and I desperately need to know more about the art direction of this film. Because, wow, it is an absolute masterpiece of randomly exaggerated shit, damn.

To prove his point about being in a movie, Danny goes to a Blockbuster, which... man, does THAT bring me back! That’s right you young whippersnappers, I WAS THERE FOR BLOCKBUSTER IN THE ‘90s! We used to go to the store and look at the VHSs. I remember seeing The Lost World there, but my dad said I was too young for it. I was sad, but he got me some candy and a Really Wild Animals video, and we watched it that night after Carmen Sandiego. My God. It was paradise.

Anyway, Schwarzenegger doesn’t exist, and find out that Stallone has taken over his roles.

...I’d watch that. I’d watch the HELL out of that. Danny then uses some legitimately impressive math to dissect the “555” number thing in movies, as well as pointing out the lack of non-conventionally attractive women. Which, credit to you, kiddo, for addressing the overwrought emphasis on conventional attractiveness that permeated Hollywood at this time, and to this day. I mean, he’s not criticizing it, but he is pointing it out, and that’s better than nothing in the ‘90s.

Danny guides his way to Vivaldi’s house, where the butler is...Professor Toru Tanaki! He looks exactly like Odd Job from the James Bond series, but the actor is SubZero from The Running Man! You know, the hockey killer!

Anyway, after crack about Schwarzenegger’s “I’ll be back” line, a conversation with Benedict (who has a smiley face instead of a bullseye), and some terrible CGI dogs, Benedict becomes correctly convinced that something’s up with Danny. They arrive at his house, and his college-aged daughter Whitney (played by Bridgette Wilson, in her first film role in and out of the movie, in a neat little twist!) kisses Danny directly on the mouth, and I’m a liiiiiiittle uncomfortable with that. Anyway, we brush right past that, and realize that his son...died. Oh. Uh. Guess we didn’t see the end of that movie, huh? Yikes. Poor Jack.

Hey, Benedict and his gang arrive at Slater’s place! Fun! There’s a sort-of amusing play on “harming a hair on one’s head,” and the interrogation continues. Charles Dance is legitimately threatening as Benedict. And, while we’re at it, Bridgette Wilson has an entertaining action sequence all her own.

Anyway, Jack arrives, and makes a ridiculous jump off of the balcony to pursue Benedict. Benedict name drops getting a tank, which I’m assuming is named the Chekov (film trope reference there, have a good time). Danny realizes that he’s the comedy sidekick of the movie, and at this point, I need to mention something: in case you haven’t noticed, this film is delightfully meta. And I love that about it. 

But it’s also...cluttered. You’ll see what I mean in a little bit, but real talk, I didn’t realize that Benedict had stolen the ticket until Danny mentioned it, because I was apparently quite distracted. And this is an important plot point, as Benedict soon realizes the true power of the ticket, cleverly overlaid by the opening to the Twilight Zone, with Rod Serling mentioning traveling to another dimension. Also...his eye was a bomb. What. Anyway, that explosion results in Slater officially getting fired from the department, and the chief...

Um. Yeah, this movie is also kind of a cartoon, not including the cartoon cat. And you have no idea how much I’m omitting from this movie. The digitization of Humphrey Bogart, the fact that Slater can’t say “fuck” in a PG-13 movie, the surprising character realization that Slater’s ex-wife is actually remarried, the clearly dominatrix cop clad in leather, the fact that there’s a plan to detonate a nerve gas-infused bomb stuffed into a dead man nicknamed Leo the Fart at his own funeral, a digitization of Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, I said that last one twice, because the effect actually holds up really well, like, seriously.

OK, let’s take a break, yeah? Part 2 later today!

[pebblerage]

Whatever Happened to Joanne Russell?

Oh boy, rambling about a character only a select few knows about are we?

So as you probably know, comic book heroes often have a handful of love interests. Batman who have characters like Catwoman, Talia al-Ghoul, Barbara Gordon and justice itself, right? 

Well Jack Ryder/Creeper is an odd case....

If I were to describe Jack Ryder’s (and by extension Creeper’s) love life, I would bluntly say that it freaking sucks. This isn’t too surprising if you look into it, as neither one of them have such a positive reputation with their peers and their questionable behavior may be a turn off. Creeper’s terrible flirting skills doesn't help either, no matter how hard he tries.

So has he ever had a significant other? 

I guess, but they are all pretty much exes. There have been four women in Jack’s life I guess you could call “love interests”. Let’s go through them!

1# Vera Sweet

I’m just gonna say it now. 

Jack and Vera have a very weird relationship.

If you look up profiles of her then there’s a decent chance it will label her as a love interest, like her wikipedia page for example. This is also mentioned on her Comic Vine page but it does also point out the weirdness of it all, as the “love” part did not really become official until the Creeper 2006 mini-series (like almost 40 years after her debut in 1968). There she is established as Jack’s ex-girlfriend.

So what was she prior to that?

Back in Beware the Creeper Vera was more like an obstacle, someone that Jack found annoying and tried to avoid most of the time. Not much of an love interest really, but it is possible that she would've been like Gwen Stacy - starting off disliking Jack but ends up liking him later. Unfortunately, as Beware only lasted six issues, this development never came to pass.

Then there’s also this panel from issue #6

I’m pretty sure that this was added to say “yeah Vera was supposed to be the love interest, but we didn't get that far”.

One amusing thing I noticed about her in this series is hat she is a bit of an attention seeker, doing things for publicity and the like. This is a trait Jack kind of absorbed in some later stories, for better or for worse. 

Anyway, what about after this series? Well she had a small cameo in Brave and the Bold #178 at Jack’s current work place, and the two seemed to be on better terms with each other. Until the end I guess when Jack steals the anchorman job (to expose the bad guy) she wanted. I say “I guess” because we don’t really see her confront Jack about it, only her angry reaction.

Vera has also apparently dropped the whether-girl job she had back in Beware and is a reporter here. Why I don’t know. She also feels a bit...mature(?) when it came to her personality. I can’t explain it but she felt less like a spoiled brat here then in Beware. I’m guessing it is because of her more appropriate reactions and behavior to things.

Next is the Creeper 90′s series and oh boy. This is the series that reveals some very questionable things about their relationship. Like that Vera has apparently stabbed Jack at one point.

When did that happen?! 

Why did that happen?!

Don’t expect Jack to tell because he has no reaction to it. No fill in for the reader, no comment, no nothing! It is like he has no problem with it. Did Creeper’s healing factor cause him to see stab wounds as small potatoes or what? Like a “eh, I’ve been through worse” kind of attitude? On top of that he also mentions later that Vera put him in a body cast for six weeks for calling her “Swetowski”, which is apparently her real last name. How great.

Later after Jack had his shower, he walks out without tying his bathrobe, leaving him completely exposed. Now remember that they weren’t explicitly stated to have been in a relationship in the past until the 2006 reboot, unless you want to see Jack’s “I used to let you borrow my toothbrush” line as proof or something. So Jack is basically walking out naked in front of a previous co-worker, without a care in the world.

Even better. Not only is Jack apparently fine with Vera seeing him nude, it’s not even Vera he meets outside, it’s his shape shifting nemesis Proteus who has taken her form. Even when Jack gets suspicious he still doesn't tie his freaking bathrobe.

I’m not sure what this says about him, but Vera later travels to Paris, leaving her out of the series until issue #10 when she comes home and comments on Jack cleaning the apartment and being polite as him “finally snapping”. Also that kiss on the cheek is the most romantic moment these two have shared so far. How this meeting would have gone if Jack wasn’t under the influence of the “wonder drug” he was taking at the time i have no idea.

So we finally get to the 2006 mini-series, that comic that finally established them as exes, and what caused the break-up?

Cheating! On both fronts even!

Granted they seem to be on a bit better terms here as Vera lightly smacking his cheek is the most violent thing she does to him, something i doubt pre-Infinite crisis Vera “I will put you in a cast” Swetowski would have done if she caught Jack cheating on her.

We also get some scenes with Vera as she admits that she still likes him so its not like she hates the guy or anything. She even gets jealous when she finds red hair in Jack’s apartment, thinking he has a new girlfriend.

The funny thing is that the red hair from that “red headed tramp” she talks about actually belongs to Creeper, or his red boa to be precise.

Unfortunately the same dedication isn’t replicated on Jack’s part, but to be fair he was kind of caught up in a pretty intense situation. Like getting along with Creeper, because it’s “we” now, something Creeper often repeats in this series.

Well as this relationship triangle is looking weirder and weirder its probably best to close this part as Vera sadly hasn't appeared as of late. Most likely because Jack Ryder/Creeper isn't a very prominent character in the DCU, and when either one appears they are usually a supporting character, giving Creeper related characters even less of a chance to show up.

2# Vicki Vale

Maybe Vera worrying about a redhead wasn’t too far off, as in the event Bruce Wayne: The Road Home we learn that Jack and Vicki Vale apparently have been together at some point. When did that relationship take place? Who knows! But they seem to be on pretty decent terms, as Vicki even calls Jack when she has a problem. Jack also calls her “Red”, because that’s the only nickname a redhead is allowed to have in the DCU I guess.

I’m not sure who Jack is referring to here though, but it’s probably Vicki as they’re supposed to talk about journalistic ethnics here and Jack talks like she doesn't care about the people she writes about. Also her reaction may also indicate that Jack’s remark was directed towards her. If that was supposed to indicate that she cheated on him or something i have no clue because unfortunately, the Outsiders issue of this arc is the only time these two interact in a comic so we are still a bit in the dark about them. I’m kind of surprised that they haven’t interacted more often as they are Gotham’s most prominent reporters after all.

3# “Furious” Fran Daye

To be honest, I was a bit conflicted about including Fran here as she was basically just a Vera replacement during the World’s Finest comics Steve Ditko made during the 1970s, Fran’s debut year being in 1978 with World’s Finest #249, but if Comic Vine feels the need to call her a love interest I guess that leaves me with no choice.

Like Fran’s Comic Vine page says, her and Jack’s relationship is pretty much just a role-reversal of Jack and Vera’s relationship, especially the one they had back in Beware the Creeper. Instead of Vera annoying Jack, it’s Jack annoying Fran, mostly by being a troll. 

Unless I missed something, I picked up little to no romantic tension between them. Unless you go with the “the boy shows that he likes the girl by being a dick to her” or the “main guy hooks up with the main girl”  logic they don’t appear to love each other at all. They’re more like rivals and it sure is intense as Jack often drags Fran into his antics when he tries to catch the villain of the week, something Fran often complains about. Also, thanks to Ditko’s art style she often looks like she wants Ryder dead or something.

As Fran sticks to these World’s Finest stories we haven't heard from her since, actually making me believe that Fran kind of got absorbed into Vera Sweet’s character as the two where kind of similar. This could also explain Vera’s personality shift from spoiled brat to lady with buttons you don’t want to push.

#4 Joanne Russell

Well here it is! The main course of this thing. That one that this is named after. So who is Joanne Russell? 

Well we can start by going through her introduction in Adventure Comics #445 from 1976. 

It’s a pretty simple story about Jack trying to solve some kind of murder story occurring in “Humboldt Institute”, with Ms. Russell being one of the victims there. We learn that she works as a physical therapist and that she is paralyzed waist down after a very strange car accident. We also learn some other stuff, but let’s save that for now.

Jack jumps the gun after a interview and declares it to be a murder case to boost ratings. This upsets Ryder’s boss who tells him to find evidence for his claim or the hospital will sue him. It especially doesn’t help when his boss later tells him find evidence that can pin-point the Creeper as the culprit - because everyone hates Creeper, you see.

Since he is the main character it turns out he was right, and that a strange robot, with the very threatening name “Manfred”, is actually wandering around killing people, and Joanne seems to be a special target. 

As the story progresses, it turns out one of Joanne’s colleges named Vernon Maddox is the creator of Manfred, and has telekinetic powers which is how he controls the robot.  

Why does he want Joanne dead? Well he doesn’t really, but his subconscious has other plans and commands the robot to kill Joanne while he’s sleeping.

After that the story goes pretty straight forward and it’s just Jack trying to keep Joanne safe from Manfred. But then we come to the ending.

Joanne learns that she too has telekinetic powers, and with that, she regains the ability to walk and that is how Manfred gets defeated. She and Creeper walk into the sunset or whatever, the end. During the course of the last part Joanne managed to figure out Jack’s secret identity, but she promises to keep it a secret.

But what is that?

You can interpret this in a few ways i’m sure, but to me it sounds like DC wanted people to write if they wanted Creeper to have a love interest or not. If we say that was the intention, then oh boy, the idea of Creeper having an significant other must have sparked some kind of uproar or something, because Joanne’s very next appearance in World’s Finest Comics #252 (1978) begins like this.

The sucky part is that Jack gets over it really quickly, just swears revenge by finding her killer (which turns out to be her assistant), and that’s pretty much it! Never mentioned again! 

But for real though, what the hell really happened here? I doubt I can solve this mystery, but I can offer you some speculations I have about this (because I have no life) and let you come to a conclusion yourself.

So I did take a look at the letters that came in subsequent issues of Adventure Comics to see if someone expressed some kind of dislike for Joanne. I don’t think I saw any, but I did notice some people not being too keen on the story itself for various reasons. Not to say it got no praise in these letters or anything, I’d say it was about 50/50, but still.

This message outright states that the story didn’t do so well..

Maybe that’s why Joanne got the axe? Because she was associated with a story that got a mixed reception? I dunno, that sounds kind of stupid to me, but the comic book industry chooses to do some dumb stuff a lot sometimes so what do I know.

Anyway, what about another suggestion? So the Adventure Comics three-parter was written by Martin Pasko, while the World’s Finest Comic stories were written by Creeper’s creator Steve Ditko. Maybe he didn’t want Creeper to have a love interest so that’s why he killed her off? 

According to this letter, Ditko is pretty speedy when it comes to writing. Maybe that resulted in him not realizing that Jack and Joanne where supposed to be a bit closer then how he portrayed it as? Because he didn’t do a full background check on Joanne, he thought she just was some random character who just happened to know about Creeper’s true identity so he thought “Oh I can write a murder story about this!” or something? And because he was the creator of Creeper, DC just let him kill her?

So we have five possibilities.

DC getting a bunch of angry letters from people who hated the idea of Creeper having a significant is still on the table. If they got them, I doubt DC would’ve actually added such messages to the comic’s letterers page.

The mixed reception of her introductory story got her axed.

Mr. Dikto didn’t like her/the idea of Creeper having a love interest he didn’t create, so he killed her to end a possible relationship.

Ditko didn’t get the memo so he thought Joanne was some throwaway character he could use in a murder mystery story. 

DC just kind of lost interest in it and dropped the relationship.

Whatever the reason was, it certainly effected The Creeper later as he never has had a present-day love interest ever again after this. Seriously, all the previous ladies are all his exes - none are in a relationship with Jack in present-day but Joanne (sort of). It’s like DC established some kind of “no-love-interest for-Creeper-clause”. All Jack is allowed to have are exes and that’s it! Also, because all of these stories mainly takes place before Creeper became his own persona (which is why I used both Creeper and Jack’s names a bit interchangeably here), you can actually make the argument that Creeper has no love life at all. All of the exes, plus Joanne, only really interact with Jack and when Joanne was with Creeper, it was still technically Jack because Creeper didn’t officially split from Jack until the 2006 series. And even then, Creeper didn’t talk or interact with Vera in that one, Jack did. The closest we got of Creeper having a love interest was when he went after Harley Quinn in BTAS, but that sure didn’t carry over to the comics where the two haven’t even officially met each other. 

There is Serene, but I doubt  people are going to counts her as a “love interest” for special reasons. Does Maxima count as a Superman love interest? She is probably the closest equivalent I can think of, but I’m not very good at the Superman mythos. 

Anyway, I thought Joanne had the potential to be pretty interesting supporting character if given some time to develop, and could’ve been a fun love interest to Jack. Even if her being his girlfriend maybe didn’t sound so hot for some people, couldn’t she at least have been his friend or something? I think Jack and Creeper could use some because they barely have any. The fact she is rarely ever mentioned makes me kind of sad because I did kind of want to see more of her, but it’s highly unlikely DC remembers her when Creeper himself doesn’t get the spotlight very often.  

I have probably spent too much time on this.

[madelinecoffee]

Is This Seat Taken? Ch. 12

Summary: Rucas Senior Year AU. Riley’s a loner who doesn’t really have any friends, besides her twin brother Josh but she keeps to herself in school. Something happened the year before where she missed the 2nd half of the year but she’s back for senior year and Lucas’ heart is ready. He’s had a crush on her since he moved to Philly in 3rd grade and he’s convinced this is the year they’ll move up from the class-friends label and into something more. This is not a completely fluffy fic, I’m going to be diving into some deep shit so if that’s not your cup of tea please leave *this does  include some serious depression if it goes beyond that I will trigger warn it*

A/N: I’m going to be honest, I kind of forgot about this story for a bit. I was looking into grad school (I just applied) and generally trying not to die and life just took over. And when I did think of it, my angst took over and I didn't like the way it was headed so I waited. And here we are.  Words: 1194 Previous: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch.4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch. 10 Ch.11 

It had been a week since Riley’s incident in the hospital, and everyone had hoped that things would be back to normal but they weren’t.  Riley was still a little sick and overall weak from the experience. Riley also just seemed overall upset, and her friends felt that she wasn’t telling them what was going on. It was a particular issue between her and Lucas recently.

Riley was working on her homework in her room and she cringed thinking of the argument her and Lucas had a few hours earlier.

“Riley I can tell something is bothering you, just tell me what it is so I can help”

“Lucas, I told you there’s nothing. I’m just upset, okay?” Lucas gave her a look,

“I know there’s more to it than that Riley”

“Well then you must know my inner thoughts better than I do! Can’t just accept that if there was something wrong I’d tell you?” Riley huffed

“Not after last time I can’t” As soon as the words left his mouth Lucas knew he fucked up, tears were streaming down Riley’s face. He knew she felt bad about the incident and was trying to work on it. “-Riley I didn’t mean-“

Riley dried her face, “I think its best if you leave Lucas.”

“Riley-“ But she had already turned around and was paying no attention to him and he knew it.

Riley just felt upset at the whole situation, and she tried to remember what her and Joanne had talked about. Sometimes you feel more the one thing, its good to take a moment and write about it or think about what you’re feeling and what’s causing it.

Riley sighed, sometimes she really hated dealing with herself, but she pulled out her journal and her favorite purple pen and got to writing

--

Lucas felt like a moron, he just wanted to love and support her but he royally messed up. He knew Riley was working on her emotions and being more open, it didn’t happen over night. He groaned again, he felt like such an ass. He had to think of a way to make it up to her. He grabbed his keys and told his parents he’d be back soon.

--

The next day at school Riley was not looking great or feeling great, she hadn’t been able to fall asleep last night and spent a lot of the time crying. Her eyes were puffy and her face was blotchy despite her best efforts with make-up. She was getting stuff out of her locker when she felt a tap on the shoulder, she was hoping it was Lucas but when she turned she was faced with none other than Charlie Gardner.

“Oh hi Charlie” Riley tried to smile but she could tell it didn’t reach her eyes

“Hi Riley!” Charlie’s smile did reach his eyes, it was no secret that Charlie had a crush on Riley since forever, and Riley was always kind enough to him but she never returned his affection. That didn’t stop him from trying though, “I just wanted to see if you need anything? I didn’t see Lucas” Charlie said her boyfriends name with such maliace that Riley frowned at him.

“Oh he texted me he was running a few minuets late, see there he is now” They both turned and Riley smiled at him. But Lucas frowned back seeing Charlie with Riley it looked like Charlie was trying to put his arm around Riley but she was too focused on Lucas to notice.

“I’ll see you later Charlie!” Riley said quickly as she skipped over to her beau and gave him a big hug that he quickly returned

“I’m so sorry about last night, really there’s nothing going wrong. I’m just still upset about last week. And I don’t want you to think that I’m not sharing with you”

“Oh Riley, I know. I’m sorry I snapped I’m just worried about you. And I know you’re not always going to tell me what’s going on but I got you something that you can tell things to when you don’t want to tell me, if you want it.” Riley’s eyes got big and she bit her lip, she never wanted to seem spoiled but it made a certain part of her all warm when people thought about her enough to get her something. From Lucas’ backpack he pulled out a stuffed purple bunny, with flower pattering in it’s floppy ears and on the pads of its feet.

Riley had to hold back tears, “It’s made by Jellycat so its extra soft, and I know you wanted to be a bunny farmer for a while and well”

“Oh Lucas!” Riley cried, taking it from his hands, “I love it, she’s going to be my special friend. I think I’ll call her Rosie!” Riley smiled up at him “If that’s okay with you?”

Lucas chuckled, “You don’t need my permission to name your bunny”

Riley nodded blushing, “I know but I want you to like it too because Rosie is going to be around for a long while. “

Lucas chuckled and Riley stood on her tip toes angling her head up, Lucas smirked and leaned down to kiss her knowing its what she wanted

--

The rest of the day went smoothly, Lucas saw Riley a few times stroking Rosie from her back pack when she thought no one was looking. And it made his heart warm that she liked his gift. Missy tried to get his attention a few times during the day but he only had eyes for Riley.

On the other hand , Lucas started to notice just how many classes they had with Charlie Gardner and he was not a fan. Charlie kept trying to get Riley’s attention all day but she either didn’t notice or didn’t want to encourage him.

When they sat down for lunch Riley was bouncing up and down dying to show everyone her bunny.

“Look what Lucas got me!” Riley showed everyone before crashing it into her chest, sure people were looking on but most everyone was smiling at seeing Riley and Lucas so happy.

“Well that’s adorable Sugar” Zay said, “Hey Lucas why didn’t you get me a bunny? I thought we had something man” Riley just giggled and snuggled her bunny.

Maya interrupted her snuggling with her bunny, and Riley leaned into Lucas “What’s up with Gardner. He’s been looking over here more than normal, same with Missy.”

“I don’t like that Gardner fellow” Lucas grumbled and Riley shrugged

“He kind of gives me the creeps but he’s never done anything wrong. So I don’t know.”

Josh nodded, “Same I always got a weird feeling too.”

Zay shrugged, “I always thought he was cute, but I get it.”

Riley shrugged, “As long as he doesn’t turn into another Missy it’ll be fine. And also if any of you mess with Rosie you die.”

The gang chuckled, but something about the look Charlie had made Lucas tighten his hold on Riley just a bit. But she was too enamored with her rabbit and snuggling into him to notice.

[fletchermarple]

Quick Review of the True Crime Books I Read in 2018 (Part 1)

Review of books in 2017 Part 1 and Part 2

Review of books in 2016 Part 1 and Part 2

Review of books in 2015

Inside the Mind of BTK by John Douglas and Johnny Dodd: I’m a big fan of John Douglas and his books, but I think this one is probably the worst one I’ve read from him. I think the problem is that inserting himself in this particular story feels a little forced, since in reality Douglas had little to do with serial killer Dennis Rader, aka BTK, until well after his arrest and imprisonment (in fact, he did a profile while he was still unidentified that turned out to be completely wrong). The little tidbits of John Douglas’ life in the middle of the story of Rader are unnecessary and harm the narrative, which is often dull. It doesn’t help that Rader himself is such a bland, uninteresting and down right dumb person who aside from his horrific murders has little to offer in terms of captivating character. That being said, this book certainly offers an in depth and complete portrayal of who he was and how he worked, so at the end you still feel like you learned a lot about the case.

Vulgar Favors by Maureen Orth: As you probably know, this book was the basis for the show The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story and that’s because it’s really the best account of Andrew Cunanan’s murder spree that there is out there. That doesn’t mean it’s not without its flaws. While I have to commend the author for her very well researched profile of Cunanan, it still leaves so many questions. That’s not really her fault: this killer was such a mystery that we’ll likely never understand all of what he did, and we’ll never get the complete details of his murders. The main problem I found with the book is that it feels very outdated. It was originally published in 1999, and you can tell by the way Orth talks about gay culture that there’s a lot of ignorance and prejudice that seems unacceptable in this day an age. Because she wrote it so close to the crimes, it also lacks the benefit of a deeper reflection that only time and distance can give.

I’ll be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara: You can find a more extensive review of this book here, but in short, this is a brilliantly written novel of one woman’s obsession with solving a long standing mystery. I had issues with the structure of the novel and some editing issues that are likely because the author tragically died before she could finish the book (or find out that the case she put so much time in was solved in 2018). Still, this is a must read for any true crime enthusiast, even if now knowing the identity of the Golden State Killer makes it just a little less compelling.

Unsolved Child Murders by Emily G. Thompson: I wrote a longer review of this book here. The debut non fiction novel of our own @congenitaldisease​ is a great selection of horrific cases, some more familiar than others, told with all the relevant information available and in a very compassionate and non sensational way. What I liked the most about this book is that the author took time to explain the social repercussions of these crimes and how they’ve helped shaped new laws, which makes it even more relevant to know about these cases.

I Will Find You by Joe Kenda: I’ve never watched Homicide Hunter, the Investigation Discovery show that features some of the cases of Detective Kenda’s career, so I didn’t really know about him before this book. I was expecting a Douglas type of book that would mix interesting cases with some teachings about crime and investigative techniques, but I was wrong. This book is really a disjointed potpourri of cases Kenda worked in, but most of them aren’t really presented in an interesting way. Sometimes he doesn’t even tell you the names of the people involved, so it’s more like he’s just remembering stuff from his life and telling it as it comes to him, and less a structured narrative that has something to offer to anyone that’s not a previous fan of him. This book lost my interest before the middle mark, and unless you’re an avid watcher of Homicide Hunter, I would not recommend it.

Unanswered Cries by Thomas French: Now here is one of those rare jewels in the true crime genre, a book that combines thorough and flawless investigation with great penmanship. It comes from a brilliant journalist who won a Pulitzer Prize for his article about the murders of the Rogers women by Oba Chandler (you can, and should, read it here). Unanswered Cries covers the not very known case of Karen Gregory, a woman who was murdered in a quiet neighborhood of Florida and even though many of her neighbors heard her screaming for help, no one thought to call police. The book is a really deep dive into everything about the case from the point of view of several characters involved, and it’s written just like a thriller, in which the reader doesn’t really know who the culprit is beforehand (so if you are thinking of reading it and don’t want to be spoiled, I recommend not reading anything about it). French understands the importance of having relatable characters to follow, so instead of writing about dozens of investigators, he focuses on just a few of them. He also does the rare thing of telling us what went inside the jury room while during trial they were discussing their verdict, which really gives us priceless information about how this process truly works.

Convenient Suspect by Tammy Mal: This book is about the murder of Joann Katrinak and her 3 month old son Alex, who disappeared one afternoon of 1994 in Lehigh Valley and were found a couple of months later in the woods, shot. Patricia Rorrer, the ex girlfriend of Joann’s husband Andy was eventually convicted and sentenced to life for the crime, but this book wants us to believe that Patricia was the victim of a terrible miscarriage of justice. I’ll be honest and say that I started to read this book with a lot of contempt for the author’s claim and completely determined to dismiss her theory and to keep believing that Patricia Rorrer is guilty. I kept that belief for at least half of the book, especially because Tammy Mal is so eager to defend Patricia, that she has a tendency to drag Joann through the mud and point her fingers at a lot of other potential suspects. However, when she gets to the trial and all the post trial motions, I have to say I can definitely see why this case has many flaws, and I finished the book in serious doubt that Patricia Rorrer killed Joann and Alex. There’s a lot of details that I won’t go in depth here, but wonky and questionable science and a prosecution changing his timeline of the crime are two main things, not to mention the unanswered questions about Andy Katrinak. If you like difficult cases and poking holes at the criminal justice system, this is definitely a book for you.

[afandomofthrones]

Book Recommendations!

Hey guys! So as some of you may or may not know, I work at a Library and I am also two classes away from a degree in English Literature, and so as you might guess, I am a bit of a bibliophile. Working at the library also means that I come home with at least 4-5 books after every shift. So I go through a lot of them, and I figured it could be kinda fun to share some of my favourites with you all every now and then. 

So! If you are looking for new books to read, allow me to share some amazing books I have found recently!

First, I should mention that I tend to like books that are set in different time eras. So, things like historical fiction, fantasy, apocalyptic, etc. It has to be a very good book to get my attention if it is set in our world/era. So, that is what kind of books will be on this list. I also want to mention that these are not going to include my favourite Classical Lit stories/books. If people want those sort of recommendations, let me know and I will be happy to share. 

Now! Onto the Books!

1. Circe by Madeline Miller

This is a book about the character from Greek Mythology, Circe. She was a character in Homer’s Odyssey, and in many myths she was a Goddess. This is her story about her life as daughter of the sun, and how she came to reside on the island of Aeaea. She learns the art of magic and is essentially the world’s first witch. Along the way she comes into contact with other figures from Mythology: Prometheus, Hermes, Odysseus, Madea. It is an amazing story and one of those books that I just couldn’t put down. Her growth throughout the novel is an amazing example of character development. She is one of those characters that if I had read this story as a child, I would have wanted to be Circe when I grew up.If you were like me and ever went through a Greek Mythology phase, or if that phase never really ended, I highly recommend this book!

2. A Pocketful of Crows by Joanne Harris

This was one of those stories that I never would have read if the cover didn’t look like it did. It was black and gold and so of course I had to pick it up. (What can I say, my love of all things Baratheon is strong) But I am so happy I did because it sort of changed my life. This story says that it is a ‘Modern Fairy Tale’, but I would call it a Pagan Folk Tale, instead. It’s a story of love and heartbreak, of birth and death and renewal, of the natural cycles of the world around us. It’s about a nameless girl who falls in love with a boy, and in her young naivety she gives up almost everything for him. She has a deep connection with the earth and has the ability to go into animal minds. It is a story with just that little sparkle of magic that I love so much. It’s one of those books that I can’t stop thinking about. It helped me understand the world and the ‘myths/folklore’ that pagan/earth-centered religions are based upon. I don’t want to say too much more about it’s plot, because I don’t want to spoil anything, but it is a fantastic story and I wish I could just give everyone a copy to read because I just love it so much. 

3. The Lady of the Rivers by Phillipa Gregory

This is a historical fiction novel that is actually part of a series I am reading. I am a history nerd and I love historical fiction but only if it stays somewhat true to history. I tend to google things while reading historical fiction and I like when the book matches with the facts. What I love about this novel/series is that it is written by a historian, and she does so much research for every book she writes and even includes a bibliography at the back of every novel with all the sources she used when writing. She uses actual people and places and dates, all the facts that we know, and then she fills in the gaps with fiction, and gives the books life with love and heartbreak and fury and pain. The Lady of Rivers is about Jacquetta Woodville, who first married an English Duke and then married a squire for love. She is the Great-Great-Grandmother of Henry VIII. This story is about her as a young woman and her role at court during the beginning of the War of the Roses (The real war that Game of Thrones/ASOIAF is based on by the way!). There is a hint of magic thrown in as well. Not the Harry Potter kind, think more along the lines of Wicca. Its the first book of the series and I am on book 8 now, but this one is still my favourite because of the character. So if you enjoy historical fiction, or want to read about the real ‘Game of Thrones’ I suggest reading this book and series. I adore it. 

4. Every Day by David Levithan

This is one of those few novels that is set in our era that I actually loved reading. Its a story about this person who wakes up in a different body every day, they live that persons life for one day and then at midnight they go into someone else. Eventually this person falls in love, and it goes through the trials of being in love when you never look the same two days in a row. Again, I probably never would have picked this book up and taken it home, except for the fact that I went on a girl’s trip in March with some friends and we ended up watching the movie that is based on this book, and as soon as my friends told me it was based on a book I put it on hold at my library and picked it up. And honestly, the movie did a VERY good job at staying true to the book, which isn’t often the case, so Kudos to them! I enjoyed this book a lot because it was easy to read and actually captured my interest really well because it was an idea that I hadn’t ever seen before. It wasn’t just another ‘boy and girl fall in love’ story, because it wasn’t a boy and a girl. It was a girl and a genderless person. ‘A’ (the main character’s name) didn’t have a body and didn’t identify as any one gender, and each day they woke up in a male or female body but it didn’t make ‘A’ a boy or a girl. And I think this book did an amazing job at alluding to agender and transgender identities. Of course, I am a cis girl, so I don’t actually know what it is like to be agender or trans or anything like that, but this book really helped me understand things more. It also did a good job at showing that you can be attracted to someone despite their gender. I don’t know, it just did a really good job at emphasizing the importance of the soul of a person, not necessarily their body. It was a good message and a good, easy read. 

5. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Technically I am still reading this book and I am only halfway through it but I love it so much I had to include it on my list. This is another book a lot like Circe, and it’s by the same author. This is the story of Achilles and Patroclus. For those who don’t know, Achilles was a hero in Greek Mythology who was the son of a Goddess and a mortal king, and Patroclus was Achilles’ friend and lover. They both participated in the Trojan war. This is the story about them, how they met, how they fell in love, and it is such an amazing read. Achilles is just amazing in this story. He is this amazing fighter, super fast and talented, pretty much good at everything, a prince, and yet he is not a spoiled brat. He is a complete sweetheart who picks this awkward loner kid to be his best friend. And they are just adorable and I love them so much. I can’t really say much more about the plot because I just started it the other day but it is one of my absolute favourites already. 

[everymovie2020]

A Star is Born (2018)

Date watched:  20 October 2018

Well, it finally happened.  I finally got to see the movie I have been waiting six months to see. Was it as good as I knew it would be? Yes.

I'm going to put some thoughts under a cut so as not to spoil it for anyone.  SPOILERS SERIOUSLY SPOILERS

I was impressed that I managed to hold the tears in until the end, because I was fully expecting to be crying when they began to sing The Shallow.  And honestly, if I'd gone to see this movie on my own, I probably would've allowed myself to cry.

I cannot get over how great Gaga was.  She looked amazing, she sounded amazing and she totally held her own against B-Coops.  God, I love her so much.

I honestly don't know when this Lady Gaga love started for me, because I always liked her music but was put off by the costumes and the stunts (and the meat dress, which I can't even look at in pictures, it grosses me out so much).  I think it was when she started stripping everything back that I fully got on board with her.  Artpop lost me (aside from Gypsy, which is one of my favourite Gaga songs) but I was back on board with Joanne, which I loved.  And the music from ASIB reminded me a lot of what she was doing with Joanne. That's my kinda music. Big vocals plus guitar, bass, piano and drums.  GIVE IT TO ME.

 It was so exciting to see Willam and Shangela on the big screen!

It reminded me a lot of the 1970s version, only I bought the romance between Jackson and Ally more than I did Esther and John Norman.  Especially the first time he sees her perform La Vie En Rose, ugh, the look on his face?  HOLY SHIT.  I want a guy to look at me like that.

And I LOVED that this movie brought back the lost art of the movie sex scene, like when the fuck did we stop showing sex in the movies?  SHOW MORE SEX.  It was romantic and tasteful; I loved it.

And I ALSO LOVED the scenes of them performing together on stage and touring. So in love!

Here's the thing – obviously I had seen the 1970s version, and I had been well spoiled for this version, so I knew exactly what I was getting into.  Objectively I think the first half of the movie was a lot stronger than the second half. I have some minor quibbles, like… it's weird to me that they pushed Ally to be a Gaga/Katy Perry/Rhianna-esque pop star when she was touring the country with a country rock star and singing country rock songs. It was a bit jarring to go from The Shallow to Why Did You Do That – maybe it's my lack of understanding of the music industry, but someone like Adele, for example, doesn't need backing dancers and choreography.

But then I suppose it needed to be that way to illustrate that she's going in one direction and he's in another, and he thinks less of her for it.  I don't mind the pop songs, but I think they're the weakest on the album.  And maybe they're meant to be that way, I'm not sure.

I mean, I'm more forgiving because I love pop music, but it just felt weird to me that that was the direction they pushed her in.  But then is that the point?  The music industry is a fucking shitty thing?

And speaking of that, her manager was the fucking villain of this whole thing.  I hated him from pretty much the first second he was on screen – he's just vile.  And when he was talking to Jackson at the end and blaming him for everything and saying that he was holding her back – like, fuck off, dude.  She is married to him.  She is in love with him.  Doesn't her personal life come before her professional life?

And shouldn't she get a fucking say about whether she wants to do a tour or not?  Maybe she wants to stay home with him.  He's in recovery.  To just say "oh we all know you'll relapse," like, come on.  You're not even giving him a chance.

IT MADE ME SO ANGRY.

She loved Jackson despite his flaws, and the manager made him think that ending his life was preferable to her having her husband alive and with her.  That's the fucking WORST.

I just felt bad for them both, ultimately.

In saying that, I think this ending was better than the ending of the 1970s version, because… you don't get the impression that John Norman set out to kill himself.  He was drinking and driving and crashed his car, so he kind of did, but it could've been a genuine accident. In this one, it's tragic because Jackson made a choice, and it was heartbreaking.

Jesus Christ, the fucking shot of the dog sitting outside the garage door?  WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAB ME IN THE FUCKING HEART, MOVIE?

Seriously, if I had been alone, there would've been sobbing.  Guaranteed. I had to hold it in.

Anyway, these are my most miniscule of complaints.  Ultimately, I loved it.  I will watch it at home by myself and cry all the way through it.  I thought Gaga was spectacular.  I thought B-Coops was fantastic as well – acting, directing and contributing to the music and script, like that is dedication.  He did an amazing job and I hope he's recognised for it at the Oscars.

There seriously better be no Gary Oldman "oh well he hasn't won Best Actor yet and he's in this dingy World War 2 movie that nobody cares about but he did a good job so here's an Oscar" sneak attack like this year, grrr.  I still think Chalamet should've won.  Just saying.

I loved this movie.

[dark-and-twisty-01]

David Richard Berkowitz (Son of Sam)

New Yorkers are accustomed to reports of violent death in every form, from mundane to the bizarre. They take it all in stride, accepting civic carnage as a price of living in the largest, richest city in America. But residents were unprepared for the commencement of an all out reign of terror in July 1976. For 13 months, New York would be a city under siege, its female citizens afraid to venture out by night while an apparent homicidal maniac was waiting, seeking prey. 

The terror came with darkness on July 29th, 1976. Two young women, Donna Lauria and Jody Valenti, had parked their car on Buhre Avenue in Queens, remaining in the vehicle and passing time in conversation. If they saw the solitary male pedestrian at all, they didn’t take note of him. In any case, they never saw the pistol that he raised to pump five shots through the windshield. Donna Lauria was killed immediately; her companion survived and got off “easy,” with a bullet in one thigh. The shooting was a tragic incident, but in itself was not unusual for New York City. There was scattered sympathy but no alarm among the residents of New York’s urban combat zone...until the next attack.

On October 23rd, Carl Denaro and Rosemary Keenan parked outside a bar in Flushing, Queens. Again, the gunman went unnoticed as he crouched to fire a single bullet through the car’s window. Wounded, Carl Denaro survived. A 44-caliber bullet was found on the floor of the car, and detectives matched it to slugs from the Lauria murder. Just over one month later, on November 26, Donna DeMasi and Joanne Lomino were sitting together on the stoop of a house in the Floral Park section of Queens. A man approached them from the sidewalk, asking for directions, but before he could complete the question he had drawn a pistol, blasting at the startled women. Both were wounded, Joanne paralyzed forever with a bullet in her spine.

Again the slugs were readily identified, and now detectives knew they had a random killer on their hands. The gunman seemed to favour girls with long, dark hair, and there was speculation that the shooting of Denaro in October may have been an “accident.” The young man’s hair was shoulder length; a gunman closing on him from behind might have mistaken Carl Denaro for a woman in the darkness. Christmas season passed without another shooting, but the gunman had not given up his hunt. On January 30, 1977, John Diel and Christine Freund were parked and necking in the Ridgewood section of New York, when bullets hammered out their windshield. Freund was killed on impact, while her date was physically unscathed. 

Virginia Voskerichian, an Armenian exchange student, was walking toward her home in Forest Hills on March 8, when a man approached and shot her in the face, killing her instantly, Detectives noted that she had been slain within 300 yards of the January murder scene. On April 17, Alexander Esau and his date, Valentina Suriani, were parked in the Bronx, a few blocks from the site of the Lauria-Valenti shooting. Caught up in each other, they may not have seen the gunman coming; certainly they had no time to dodge the fusillade of bullets that killed them both immediately, fired from point-blank range. 

Detectives found clearly a crudely printed letter in the middle of the street, near Esau’s car. Addressed to the captain in charge of New York’s hottest manhunt, the note contained a chilling message. 

I am deeply hurt by your calling me a weman-hater [sic]. I am not. But I am a monster. I am the Son of Sam....I love to hunt. Prowling the streets looking for fair game - tasty meat/ The weman [sic] of Queens are the prettyest [sic] of all....

The note described “sam” as a drunken bute who beat members of his family and sent his son out hunting “tasty meat” compelling him to kill. There would be other letters from the gunman, some addressed to newsman Jimmy Breslin, hinting at more crimes to come and fueling the hysteria that had already gripped New York. The writer was apparently irrational but no less dangerous for that, and homicide investigators had no clue to his identity. On June 26, Salvatore Lupo and girlfriend Judy Placido were parked in Bayside, Queens, when four shots pierced the windshield of their car. Both were wounded; both survived.

On July 31, Robert Violante and Stacy Moskowitz parked near the Brooklyn shore. The killer found them there and squeezed off four shots at their huddled silhouettes, striking both young people in the head. Stacy died instantly; her date survived, but damage from his wounds left Violante blind for life. It was the last attack, but homicide detectives didn’t know that yet. A woman walking near the final murder scene recalled two traffic officers writing a ticket for a car parked close to a hydrant; moments later, she had seen a man approach the car, climb in, and pull away with squealing tires. A check of parking ticket records traced the old Ford Galaxy belonging to one David Berkowitz, of Pine street, Yonkers. Staking out the address, officers discovered that the car was parked outside, a semiautomatic rifle lay in the “Son of Sam’s” distinctive, awkward style. When Berkowitz emerged from his apartment he was instantly arrested and confessed his role in New York’s reign of terror.

The story told by Berkowitz seemed tailor-made for an Insanity Defense in court. The “Sam” referred to in his letters was a neighbour, one Sam Carr, whose Labrador retriever was allegedly possessed by ancient demons, beaming out commands for Berkowitz to kill and kill again. One one occasion he had tried to kill the dog, but it was useless; demons spoiled his aim, and when the dog recovered from its wounds, the nightly torment had redoubled in the intensity. A number of psychiatrists described the suspect as a paranoid schizophrenic, suffering from delusions and therefore incompetent to stand trial. The lone exception was Dr. David Abrahamson, who found that Berkowitz was sane and capable of understanding that his actions had been criminal. The court agreed with Abrahamson and ordered Berkowitz to trial. The gunman soon pled guilty and was sentenced to 365 years in prison. 

Ironically, Berkowitz seemed grateful to Dr. Abrahamson for his sanity ruling and later agreed to a series of interviews that Abrahamson published in his book Confessions of Son of Sam (1985). The interviews revealed that Berkowitz had tried to kill two women during 1975, attacking them with knives, but he turned squeamish when they tried to fight him off. (”I didn’t want to hurt them,” he explained, confused. “I only wanted to kill them.”) A virgin at the time of his arrest, Berkowitz was prone to fabricate elaborate lies about his bedroom prowess, all the while intent upon revenge against the women who habitually rejected him. When not engaged in stalking female victims, Berkowitz reportedly was an accomplished arsonist: a secret journal listed details of 300 fires for which he was allegedly responsible around New York. In his conclusion, Dr. Abrahamson described his subject as a homicidal exhibitionist who meant his crimes to be a public spectacle and harbored fantasies of “dying for a cause”.

There is another side of David Berkowitz, however, and it surfaced shortly after his arrest, with allegations of his membership in a satanic cult. In letters mailed from prison, Berkowitz described participation in a New York cult affiliated with the lethal “Four P Movement,” based in California. He revealed persuasive inside knowledge of a California homicide, unsolved since 1974, and wrote that “There are other Sams out there - God help the world.”

According to the story told by Berkowitz in prison, two of neighbour Sam Carr’s sons were also members of the killer cult that specialized in skinning dogs alive and gunning victims down on darkened streets. One suspect John Charles Carr, was said to be the same “John Wheaties” mentioned in a letter penned by Berkowitz, containing other clues that point to cult involvement in the random murders. Calling themselves “The Children,” the cultists operated from a base in Untermeyer Park, where mutilated dogs were found from time to time. Cult members represented the “Twenty-two Disciples of Hell” mentioned in another “Son of Sam” letter. Suspect John Carr fled New York in February 1979 and “committed suicide” under mysterious circumstances in Minot, North Dakota, two days later. Brother Michael Carr died in a single-car crash in October 1979, and New York authorities reopened the “Sam” case after his death.

Newsman Maury Terry, after six years on the case, believes there at least five different gunmen in the “Son of Sam” attacks, including Berkowitz, John Carr, and several suspects one a woman who have yet to be indicted. Terry also notes that six of the seven shootings fell in close proximity to recognised occult holidays, the March 8 Voskerichian attack emerging as the sole exception to the pattern. In the journalist’s opinion, Berkowitz was chosen as a scapegoat by the other cultists, who then defaced his apartment with weird graffiti, whipping up a bogus “arson ledger” which includes peculiar, out-of-order entries to support a plea of innocent by insanity. 

Berkowitz himself confirmed the occult connection in conversations with fellow inmates and letters mailed from prison. One such, posted in October 1979 reads:

I really don’t know how to begin this letter, but at one time I was a member of an occult group. Being sworn to secrecy or face death I cannot reveal the name of the group nor do I wish to. This group contained a mixture of satanic practices which included the teachings of Aleister Crowley and Eliphaz [sic] Lebi. It was (still is) totally blood oriented and I am certain you know just what I mean. The Coven’s doctrine are a blend of Druidism, the teachings of the Secret Order of the Golden Dawn, Black Magick and a host of other unlawful and obnoxious practices. 

As I said, I have no interest in revealing the Coven, especially because I have almost met sudden death on several occasions (once by half an inch) and several others have already perished under mysterious circumstances. These people will stop at nothing, including murder. They have no fear of man-made laws or the Ten Commandments.

The latest near-death experience for Berkowitz had been a July 10th prison assault that left his throat slashed, requiring fifty-six stitches to close the wound. Less talkative following his narrow escape, Berkowitz still agreed to a January 1982 meeting with attorney Harry Lipsig. In that Conversation, he referred to the killer cult as follows: 

Q: You had some connection with the church of Scientology, did you not? 

A: It wasn’t exactly that. But I can’t go into it. I really can’t.  

Q: Were you connected in any way or an adherent or covert of the Church of Scientology?

A: No, not that way. It was an offshoot, fringe-type thing.

Q: Were John and Michael [Carr] with the Church of Scientology? 

A: Well, not really that church. But something along that line. A very devious group. 

Q: Did this devious group have a name?

A: I can’t disclose it.

Q: Roughly, how large would you say it’s membership was?

A: Twenty. 

Q: Were they all residents of New York metropolitan area?

A: No.

Q: Were they spread across the nation?

A: Yes.

Q: Did they meet on occasion? 

A: Yes, but I really can’t say more without counsel. 

As Maury Terry noted, both satanic Process Church of Final Judgement and it’s spin-off successor, the “Four P” cult, were “offshoot, fringe-type” movements spawned by Scientology. Both groups were also linked to the Charles Manson Family in California as was convicted killer William Mentzerm named by Berkowitz in prison interviews as the triggerman in the January 1977 shooting of John Diel and Christine Freund. Investigation of the alleged cult continues, supported by testimony from convicted cannibal-killer Stanley Dean Baker, but no further indictments have been filed to date.

[mycrofts-sword-gunbrella]

Prequel to The Syncode: Part 1

                             First Meetings, Flights and Arrivals                                            

                     Joanne Hartwell had never flown in a private jet before. Julian had promised her a little adventure into his world of secrets, MI6 and its equivalent, the Australian Secret Intelligence Service.

She wished more than anything that Julian could be here to share in the sumptuous surroundings of his luxury gulf stream. She missed him and their lively conversations they'd have when he'd return for a few weeks to his vacation home at Patos in the north Puget Sound - one of the many islands in the San Juan archipelago.

Due to the politics and intrigue Julian was currently embroiled in, he'd had to remain in Australia with ears on the ground as to who had infiltrated the top ranks of both the British and Australian Intelligence. He suspected it was more than one person, who was possibly working for a cabal or other secret network. True to form, he had made Joanne sign the Official Secrets Act; dear friend that she was, state secret knowledge of this magnitude needed to be in writing. He was quite the stickler for rules.

Still, the fact remained that nobody in the ASIS or the British SIS could be trusted. It was with her alone that he sent the top secret letter to give to his cousin Mycroft Holmes, head of British Security Services, and was now sending her across the Atlantic to meet him in London.

The trip would be a short one due to the potential danger Joanne could be in should she be found out. She was to meet Mycroft at The Langham hotel to hand off the letter.

   Settling down to lunch, she spread a fine linen napkin over her lap and tucked into the tasty salad, pasta marinara and fine wine. Joanne couldn't wrap her head around all this wealth. She had known Julian was well off, but not to this extent. Although a practical man, his tastes ran toward the elegant and refined. The polished table and sideboard gleamed, the scent of the freshly cut flowers sublime. Knowing she would probably never again be surrounded by such luxury, Joanne intended to enjoy this to the fullest.

           Savoring the exquisite cabernet sauvignon (over $2,000 a bottle!), she sank into the soft leather seat, her mind melting into sensory overload.

Diagnosed around age five with Synesthesia, life was an interesting, but not always a pleasant one. Some things, like the sweet, smooth wine she currently sipped, the colorful fragrance of the flowers, and the zesty full bodied pasta sauce, were wonderful to her senses. Colors and textures abounded.

When those senses crossed, colors were smelt and tasted, and impressions of everyday life were filtered and focused into her brain in ways she could not put into words. Touch was also affected, but to a lesser extent: Most objects could somehow be physically felt by only looking at them. Visually, letters and numbers were assigned their own various shades of color.

The auditory faculties gave her the most trouble. Sounds, as well as smells, had texture, weight and color, which could be hard to endure, especially in a city or large town. Joanne couldn't set foot in one without earphones and music to neutralize the noise and physical unpleasantness.           

It was this very curse, or, as it turned out, gift, that was the cause for her current trip to London. Looking out the window, Joanne’s mind drifted back to the first time she had met Julian, a little over a year ago. 

*****************************************************************

             The couple ahead of her paused, stopping to look at something on the man's phone. Joanne slowed, debating whether to venture into the street and pass them, or wait. The bus to work was due in 4 minutes, and she wasn't in the mood to watch their romantic antics. Love, or the lack of it, had been on Joanne's mind lately.

She would be 46 in less than five months, and sensed time for that kind of thing was running out. What decent looks she possessed were fading by the year. It really was true, that on reaching middle age and beyond, some women wanted to find a mate; someone to take care of them, to grow old with and to not be alone in their later years.  Being fiercely independent, Jo had scoffed at the idea. Yet lately on her brisk walks around the local trails, it seemed there was no avoiding couples and lovers, both young and old. Would she ever find someone? Considering she was a real homebody and never went out except for work, invigorating walks around the neighborhood and visits to the local park, it seemed unlikely.

    Most days, she sat under the pine tree at the park with the geese. They were her only friends. Jo preferred the company of the birds to humans, especially after interacting with patients and co workers for hours on end.

It was very calming to rub her cheek against their soft, smooth plumage while they were otherwise occupied eating out of the treat bag. Each one had a different scent. One smelled like creosote, another like Lilacs, yet another like sunscreen. Joanne figured it was her Synesthesia playing with her senses, but still, it was wonderful. On cold days, she would slip her hands under their wings to keep warm. It felt like being enveloped in a warm down coat, the colors in her mind soft and fuzzy, subdued and calming. She'd been coming to this park for years, and all the geese knew her. As far as Joanne could tell, she was the only one they would let pet and hug them. In spring, the parents would nudge their goslings over to her. How many generations were there, now? She'd lost count.

            Watching the parked cars across the small pond, Joanne wondered who sat inside them; it was usually the same cars day in and day out on their lunch breaks. Who were they? Possibly single and also looking for someone? Her hopes were dashed when the doors would open and a couple would emerge, or a family would tumble out, the kids running over to the nearby playground. The few men that were alone were either too old or too young.  Resigned to her fate, she squared her shoulders and checked for oncoming cars, quickly hurrying past the mincing couple. They barely glanced at her as she rushed by.  

   Arriving at work, she checked the schedule to see when the last patient would be. The list was short, the patients spaced out by half an hour or more. Still, if all went well, there would indeed be time for a few quick laps around the block.

The afternoon went by quickly, each patient needing something extra, it seemed. An xray here, a layered compression cast there. The doctor was beginning to run behind, when her boss, Dr. Packman’s wife, informed her of an end of the day walk in, and a new patient, no less. So much for that walk. Still, with the rent going up astronomically every year, Joanne wasn't complaining, and coveted any extra hours provided.  The Packman’s had been good to her for the five years she had worked there, had been spoiled in fact. She owed them much.  

   The last scheduled patient was leaving when the new one arrived. Joanne was cleaning and preparing the exam room when she heard a deep, booming voice come from the reception area. The accent was Australian, yet, there was a very definite underlying British one.

        She heard the patient retire to the waiting room to fill out the new patient paperwork. Burning curiosity brought Joanne out to the front desk, who peered over the counter at the new arrival. Another man sat with him as they quietly conversed. 

He was a big man; not fat in the conventional way, but large boned, and tall. She estimated him to be at least six five. He was elegance personified, impeccably dressed in a dark three piece suit, complete with a silk handkerchief and double Albert chain attached most likely to an old fashioned watch fob hidden inside the waistcoat pocket.

Dark hair thinning at the top and with slight jowls, the man looked to be in his early to mid sixties. Sensing her gaze, he glanced up at her. Piercing dark brown eyes bore into hers. Deep intelligence glittered in their depths, and something else, as though he could read her mind. There was something almost Middle Eastern about his features, yet his skin was as pale as an Englishman's. This was a new one for Jo, who could usually tell where a person was from, based on either accent or physical characteristics. He seemed to encompass both. She glanced down at the penciled in name on the schedule: Julian Holmes. 

His companion was also well dressed, but not as extravagant as her patient. His bearing and speech to Julian Holmes was as a subordinate or employee.

   Time seemed to stretch like melted taffy as she thought of something to say. Who was this man? No one of this caliber ever came to the clinic. Usually the clientele were Medicare patients, as well as the occasional retired doctor and everything in between. This was someone outside of normal social circles, and she couldn't wait to find out more about him. The reason for his visit never even crossed her mind, until she saw how he was holding his right foot. Even from across the room, she could tell it was painful for him.

Misinterpreting her curiosity for impatience, he stated drily, "Almost done. I am sorry to keep you so late this evening, I imagine you are ready to go home." His voice was deep and sonorous, cultured and refined.

The receptionist had left for the day an hour earlier,  and the boss had gone downstairs to her office after checking him in. Her co worker was long gone, having been the opening MA that day, and the doctor was in his back office typing away at chart notes. It was just Joanne, this intriguing man, and his companion.

    Signing the last of the paperwork, he slowly stood and came over to the desk. "Back in a tic, Henry", he called, looking over his shoulder to the seated man, who bowed his head curtly in acknowledgement and resumed texting.

"I believe you will find everything in order", Julian stated, sliding the papers across the counter. Considering how impeccably he was dressed and well groomed, she didn't doubt it. Just his attention to the smallest details of his wardrobe was astounding.

His expensive cologne also drifted over. Subtly spicy, the scent flashed colors and textures through her mind: A dark red with subtle indigo, smooth with small gritty points of yellow sprinkled throughout.  It was exquisite.

Barely glancing at the paperwork, she nodded, suddenly shy. "Yes, looks fine. Come on back." Opening the door, she was about to lead him down the hall to the exam room, when she paused. "Would you like to bring your friend back with you?", she asked.

He shook his massive head in the negative. "No need. That is my assistant Henry, who sees to my transportation needs." She nodded to Henry in greeting, who looked up and smiled briefly before returning to his phone. Joanne took her patient back.

Although clean, she realized the rooms and the small clinic in general, must have appeared very homely and economic compared to what he was normally used to. It was all somewhat daunting. How had he ended up here? 

Taking a deep breath, she was determined to stay focused. "How're you this evening? She gestured to the podiatric chair. "Go ahead and have a seat in the chair of honor!” Normally her attempt at humor would crack a smile on the face of even the most reticent of her patients. Not so with this taciturn man. His sense of humor was either nonexistent or very dry. “Also, please remove your shoes and socks. What brings you in tonight?"

Slowly, the man named Julian Cambridge lowered himself into the chair next to the one she had indicated. "I'll pop up there in one moment. It is difficult to bend down these days," he said, indicating his shoes.  She couldn't imagine this man 'popping' off anywhere.

"Do you need help removing them?" she asked. He impatiently shook his head, looking slightly affronted. "I may be getting on in years, but I've not reached that point yet. Tell me, do I look in need of assistance?" Although stated politely, there was an undercurrent of indignation. His dark eyes flashed.

Startled, Joanne backed away. "No offence meant, really! It's just, I always ask.. as a courtesy..", she faltered.

"To elderly persons, you mean?", he added somewhat testily.

"I.." She trailed off. What could she say? This was going sideways very fast. Focusing on his current problem, her mind went on autopilot as she peppered him with medical questions.

Shoes and socks removed, he settled his large frame into the exam chair. "Lift up for me?", she asked, indicating his long legs that stretched far beyond the chairs edge. Shifting a lever, the bottom half was pulled out to extend it. Tipping him back using the foot peddle, Joanne continued on. "Any history of gout?", she asked, noting the red, swollen first toe.

"As a matter of fact, yes. That is what brings me in tonight. As you can see, it is incredibly painful". He almost winced as Joanne lightly felt the heated skin with the back of her hand.  Scribbling down notes, she continued the obligatory questions while glancing at his paperwork.  Age of 61. Unmarried.  Local address on one of the San Juan islands up the Sound. Employment: Civil Servant. Hmm. Interesting.

Julian' sharp eyes missed nothing. He seemed to be studying her as much as she was him. Sensing what she was thinking, he said, "I live in Australia, but make my home on Patos Island during the summer months. As you can see, the heat does not agree with my condition."

"You live on Patos Island? I didn't know there were any homes there. It's all owned by the Bureau of Land Management, if I remember right. Nice island, but all wilderness."

"Ah. Well, some years ago, I purchased the island from your government. There is only one home there currently - mine. Of course, it's closed to the public now. It's private and quite suitable."

"No way! You OWN the entire island?!" Jo couldn't help gawping. Some of her patients did indeed live on the San Juan's, but none actually owned a whole island.

Julian smiled, amused by her reaction. "A man in my occupation likes a bit of peace and quiet. I obtained it at a discount. "

"How'd you do that? Our gov isn't exactly known for that kind of thing."

A rich, baritone laugh suddenly erupted from his expansive chest. "Connections my dear girl. I know many people in your government, and some of them owe me favors." His reserved demeanor returned once more. 

She could only stare wide eyed at him. His check in complete, it was time to let the doctor know he was ready. And yet, the more she learned of this mysterious man, the more she wanted to know.

One thing was certain: There was an authoritative and possibly dangerous air about him. Whatever position this man held, most likely a senior one, he was not one to be crossed. Julian Holmes was perhaps the most intimidating man she had ever met. And fascinating.

"How did you find out about us?  I would have thought there would be podiatrist somewhere nearby on one of the larger islands."

"There is not. The one on the nearest island retired, apparently. I met one of your prior patients in a small supermarket on Orcas Island. It's the nearest grocers to Patos. After noting my bothersome foot, he commented that I should see a podiatrist, and yours came highly recommended."

It was true, a few patient of theirs currently lived or had retired up to the various San Juan islands. It was a small world, indeed.

Joanne wondered about his 'connections' in the government. Civil Servant, it had said on his occupation description. Definitely Australian government. How had he even found Patos? Who exactly was he connected with, and how high up did they go? How high in the upper echelons was this man? She had to know.

"What is your job, if you don't mind my asking? What kind of work does a civil servant entail?” Joanne indicated the registration form. “You can tell me if I'm being too forward. It's just, you are unlike anyone that's ever come to our clinic before.." Afraid she had been too bold, she held her breath, praying his temporary good humor wouldn't evaporate. It didn't.

"Ah!", said he, still chuckling. "You know much more about me at the moment, and you've yet to tell me your name." The man was evasive, she gave him that!

"It's Joanne.."

He raised an eyebrow, silently entreating her to continue.

"Hartwell," she finished. "'The Average' Jo to my friends."

"Well, Miss 'Average Jo to my friends Hartwell', it is very nice to meet you. I assume you've surmised mine," he noted, glancing at the paper and back to her. 

 A wide grin spread across her face. "Why yes. Yes I did!" 

She liked this man. Reserved and dour at first, he slowly opened up to her. Joanne detected a certain loneliness about him. Having worked over twenty years in the medical field, she had come across many like him. No matter their job, they were usually loners outside of work, and not quick to trust people. Oh yes, she knew this kind quite well. It took one to know one. He seemed to sense this, and was possibly thinking the same.

           Not wanting to keep him here later than he needed to be, she went to inform Dr. Packman that he was ready. Still furiously typing out a prior patients' note, he barely nodded and indicated he would be in shortly. Joanne quickly rushed back to her patient.

"He's just finishing a chart note, and will be in shortly. Hey, I notice you seem to have both an Australian accent and a British one. I could be wrong.. I always like guessing where folks are from with their accents, but yours is different!"

Julian looked surprised and taken aback. At first she thought she had (again) offended him, but there was nothing but a keen interest on his face now.

"Really? You picked up on that?” Smoothly evading her question, he asked a few of his own. “Tell me, do you know any foreign languages? You appear have an ear for it".

"Well.. I learned Italian when I was stationed in Naples. Was in the Navy for 12 years before I had to get out for my back." (In truth she had gotten herself kicked out, having taken a drug that she shouldn't have, but her bad back had played a part in why she had had to take it. There was no way she would admit any of this to him). Joanne sensed he knew she was holding something of importance back. Luckily, he didn't press the issue.

"I also learned the Russian alphabet," she continued,  "and the Greek, as it's the parent to the Cyrillic, so it wasn't too hard. During my stay there, I'd gone to both Russia and Greece, and figured I should at least learn how to read it, even if I didn't know what I was actually reading. Unless it sounded like English phonetically, I had no clue!"

He looked at her, curious. "And how long did it take to learn them?"

"A few days."

Julian's eyes widened, studying her intently. "Yet you say you did not actually learn them. Only how to read the written texts."

"That's correct. I wanted to, but figured it wasn't worth my time as I'd only be in each place a week. Still, I liked the music, especially Greek. I still read it, and YouTube the videos with subtitles. Also the cursive."

"And Italian. You spoke the language, then?"

"Yes, it was easy once I learned how each letter or pair of them are pronounced. Like 'CH' is pronounced with a hard 'K' sound, not like CH in say, chips."

"And it took you how long?" The intensity of his gaze was unnerving. It was as though he were deeply considering something. What, she couldn't fathom.

"Ah, well, I didn't really apply myself too hard. I worked at the Naval Hospital, so everyone including the Italians spoke English there. It was only when I moved out into town that I really buckled down on it. Probably a month or so, and even then, it wasn't that good, but ok enough to get around. It’s only when totally immersed in a language that I can learn it fully, and since I wasn't, well.. it was a bit broken."

Julian's hands were steepled under his chin as he gazed at her, his thoughts turning inward. She remembered her earlier question.

"So, how is it that your accent both British and Australian? Or am I wrong?"

           He was about to reply, when the Podiatrist walked in, thus ending their engaging conversation. It would have to wait, but by then, the visit would be over and he would be wanting to get home.

It was this last thought that made her wonder how he was getting home. Patos Island was a good three or more hours by ferry, at least. She had taken the Victoria Clipper to British Columbia a few times; it was almost a two hour ride. This island was farther north than even Victoria. She needn't have worried, though.

"I have a marine vehicle waiting at the Edmond docks," he said, rapidly texting something into his phone.  "My assistant is calling a cab as we speak. "

Marine vehicle?  What kind? She couldn't imagine the man in a speed boat.

Reading the question in her eyes, he stated simply: "Just a small boat to get about around the islands."  Enigmatic indeed.

The diagnosis of gout was confirmed by ultrasound, as well as mild arthritis in the joints of the foot and ankle. A repeat visit would be required for the gout, as well as a cortisone injection for the ankle at a later date, after the gouty flare up subsided. A soft cast would be needed both today and again at his next visit to keep the swelling under control.

Joanne was applying the wrap when the doctor walked back in, telling her to schedule a follow up for Julian in a week. For some reason, this made her very happy. Julian hid a small smile as well.

Joanne led him out the connecting door to the waiting room. The assistant Henry was still texting on his phone.  She suspected he did more than just see to Julian's transportation.

About to hand him a reminder card, Julian waved a large but elegant hand, the cufflinks on his sleeve gleaming.  "No need for that. I've memorized it, as well as the phone number of this office, should I need it." She had memorized the date, too.

He looked pointedly at her. "I trust I will see you again?"

"Yes, I'll be here." With bells on, she thought.

"Very well. We will continue our earlier conversation at that time, and I shall endeavor to have an answer to your earlier question. Now! Henry! I believe that is our cab." Bright lights swept the small but otherwise empty parking lot outside as the cab parked and waited.

Julian extended his hand to her as he warmly shook it. "Thank you again Miss Hartwell for yours and Dr. Packman’s excellent service. It was a pleasure, I assure you. Ma'asalama. Hataa naltaqi mujadadaan."

With that, he turned and was followed out the door by Henry. "Goodnight, Miss Hartwell", he said, hurrying after his employer.

Julian's exotic cologne lingered in the room.

They were gone before she could ask for a translation of that last line, and what Arabic dialect it was that Julian had spoken. There was still the question regarding his mingled Australian and British accents.

Another mystery surrounding this fascinating man. One and more that Joanne hoped would be solved in one weeks time.

On their next encounter, however, she was to discover that Julian knew far more about her than she realized, and that his answers would lead to even more questions.