#also sorry this is long and doesn't really have a neat conclusion

[drfaustus]

Just finished coriolanus and I.....hngngng something about violence as a metaphor for queer love and the way that this play is so focused on masculine identity through violence.....

yeah, yeah. i feel you. on returning to the play for a seminar paper, i was so struck by how in some ways, coriolanus himself is a figure of that ideal of masculinity-as-defined-by-violence taken too far. so far that it completely disfigures him. i was fascinated by how often he is imagined by others as disjointed wounded body parts. menenius and volumnia meticulously recount each of his wounds and where they sit on him—one on the shoulder, the left arm, on the neck, two on the thigh. twenty-seven in total following the taking of corioles. cominius calls him "a thing of blood" (2.2.104), whatever the hell that means. menenius even claims "the wounds become him" (2.1.120). he's engulfed by wounds—unique in the sense that they represent something physical—the literal scarred tissue on the body—but also something lacking. a cut is an empty space. i don't even know what to say about the citizen who claims they should stick their tongue in his wounds and speak for them—a weirdly specific violation. god and when he's told to sit put in the senate to hear the stories of his wounds recounted once again for political points, and has to plead to be let leave to try to heal, to become whole again. and all this because he's so good at being the pinnacle of violent masculinity—but really, it's that he's not allowed to be anything more than that at all. and it's all good until it's a threat to rome!

and the queer intimacy. the homoeroticism present is almost so weirdly blatant that it feels like there isn't much to say about it. i remember reading it last year for class and we all just laughed through my professor reading aufidius recounting his gay ass dreams about coriolanus because like. what the hell. shakespeare's most marlowe moment of all time honestly. and i mean, soldiers on the battlefield enter into a space where they're surrounded only by other men with the unique peril of the threat of violence that brings them together in comradery, and like, yeah, sometimes also gay sex i guess. certainly, violence is a part of it here too. coriolanus's use of the wedding bed metaphor comes with the elation of seeing comunius on the battlefield. but the moment with aufidius in 4.5 feels different to me because it's almost like a moment where the homoeroticism is off the battlefield, i am always struck by how coriolanus is essentially like "you can slit my throat and i'd completely understand." he expects aufidius to enact violence on him. but aufidius embraces him ("here i clip the anvil of my sword." clip means to embrace. but the anvil and sword kinda problematize my point here i guess, they're image of war, too). maybe the violence can never be escaped actually, wait maybe that's why their intimacy fails too. anyway. literally had that revelation while rereading this to post it.

[itzpris15634]

if i have any noteworthy thoughts on certain songs as i listen to them, they go here. i'll edit as i go through the playlist

-The Littlest Pet Shop Pets: Not much to say other than the lack of sound effects, which applies to all of these.

-Dance Like You Know You Can: A bit short, but a good one!! Pristelle extended version when? Idk, but we'll see one day.

-BFFs: I love love LOVE that the twins' voices echo on the "forever" bit, and its like- that thing it does where it's ear to ear. very neat!

-I'm Sorry Song: Eh, not much to say about this. Just about the same. Unless I forgot stuff. Still good though!

-Be Yourself/Just Like You: the little 8bit/chiptuney notes in the background of the second verse!!

-Crush: Again, not alot, other than yknow, lack of sound effects.

-If You're a Guy: I love they still kept Sunil's dialogue in lmao

-It Won't Be Long: I was so confused hearing this one, like "Huh? Did I miss an episode?" But I remembered "oh yeah, THAT song" anyway very cute and sweet song :)) But that's also my clue into the fact that the album's order is kinda screwed so idk

-Wolf-I-fied: With a capital I, alright! Yeah i know that the Wilhelm Scream is in the og too but it still makes me laugh hearing it so it gets a mention here. Oh they harmonies a bit louder!! Or, well, at least more noticeable than the uploads on youtube. I fuckin love harmonies gahhhh

-Superstar Life: Shahrukh... Sh... Shahrukh 🥺🥺🥺 Yeah not much to say again. But like. Shahrukh!!! Happy.

-The Sweet Shop Song: OMG THE EXTENDED INTRO PLEASE WHOEVER IS UPLOADING THESE VERSIONS TO SPOTIFY YOU HAVE MY SOUL-

-Humanarian: Boogie you were SO RIGHT OMG THAT ROBOT EFFECT ON SUNIL'S VOICE HOLY SHIT IM WRITHING IM WRIGGLING IM SHAKING IN MUSIC HEAVEN. and the end too i just got there BAJJSHJSHSHJAHA AND THAT SYNTH EFFECT AT THE END IS SO GOOD OH MY GOD (just before russell's dialogue, which i am glad they also kept lmao)

-Miss Anna T, If You Please: Okay yeah I know I rave about the sound effects being no more and all but I'm glad they kept the one for Mrs. Twombly's here, they just work!

-Fun Being Fun: This song really does embody funness! And again, glad they kept the dialogue ("Well.. this is fun")

-My New Tail: Nothing to say, other than cool song, yknow? :>

-Lost and Found Box: A bit of a strange addition to the episode, it doesn't really add much story wise, but it only matters as much as you care. I like to think they had fun with this song :) And also, its a Christie and Youngmee song! Jasper song... were there any? If there is I might've forgotten.

-Stay Here Forever: :((( dawwww. But really, not much to say about this one. Again.

Conclusion:

I am going insane.

Season 2 when? ALL AROUND THE WORLD WHEN, HUH??? HUH HUH HUH LPS SPOTIFY ACCOUNT ?!?!?!?!?! AND ALL THE OTHER SEASONS??? HM??????!!!?!?!?!

[firecooking]

Hi, I know you've written and drawn a bunch of ZipCents stuff (which I really love btw). Do you have any extra headcanons or tidbits about those two, either as a pair or as individuals? Would love to hear it!

OH BOY DO I :D

Gosh lemme see lemme see [Sorry this took so long I wanted to make sure it was written well, Welcome to The Zipcents Train]

Gonna do a general section and then a section for my human au because I have words to say about both. First off generally:

I like to think that Zip is very book smart but absolutely awful with street smarts. And in opposition to that Ten is very street smart and not book smart at all. Neither is dumb in the slightest, they are just working off completely different bases of knowledge!

Ten tends to appear smarter while working in the port because hes very quick on the punch, however Zip knows the port rule book front to back and is a Very neat and particular sailor when it comes to line work.

Ten Cents is more likely to break a rule on accident or because it's more convenient\helps him get the work done in a harmless way. Zip, when working alone, will hem and haw breaking rules all day even if it makes him less efficient [well, not counting when he blatantly breaks the law for Business Reasons of course].

I tend to ship Zipcents with qpr undertones, as I do with most of my tugs shipping tbh. I think that first and foremost they enjoy spending time together. They can spend hours just sitting around without even chattering.

I think they tend to get easily embarrassed when the others talk about 'them.' Zip's a lot more gracious about it and with the other Z's he is used to jabs of any and all nature but it still gets him embarrassed. Ten on the other hand gets flustered fast and throws fits. "It's not like that," he says. "Zip's not an airhead," he defends. "So what we're courting, why's that matter?" He snaps. It's really easy to push his buttons about the whole thing.

Ten Cents absolutely does not like talking to Star about Zip in the slightest. It frustrates and embarrasses him easily and Star tends to be quick to draw conclusions. Star doesn't like this whole situation, but he's also not going to put any effort into stopping it. Zip does manage to reel in TC so Star sees the advantage to letting the two kanoodle, even if he doesn't like it. Meanwhile Zip is very transparent with Zero about everything to do with Ten Cents. They have crimes to commit and Zip marrying lines with the stupid Star Switcher is the least of his worries unless TC is actively hindering their business. Anything to keep his ships from giving him a migraine this week.

Tangentially related but I think Zip and Hercules get along pretty well. Herc can get a bit annoyed around Zip [not even really the switchers fault, Herc's just introverted] but he is very impressed that Zip can hold his own and practically tame Ten Cents.

On to my Human Au:

BzjKsjiskwoiwkwjiskw ZIPCENTS ZIPCENTS ZIPCENTS AUGH

[coughs] anyways. Zip and Ten Cents absolutely love sneaking off together at night. They don't do anything you'd figure they do, it's mostly reading and chatting and card\board games to pass the time together. Ten Cents likes listening to Zip read. Whether it's a newspaper or it's a novel Zip's chipping away at, Ten quite likes to hear Zip's voice as he reads.

Zip, like the other Z stacks, leans towards more of an anarchist view of relationships [have fun and spend quality with whoever] where Ten Cents is very exclusive and easily jealous. Zip recognizes that Ten doesn't like him getting 'cozy' with other folks and keeps himself reeled in for the most part. That will not stop the occasional slip where Zip gets in on Z Stack nonsense, to the horror and betrayal of Ten Cents. Usually Zip just needs a tap on the shoulder and he's back to focusing his attention and affection on Ten.

Ten Cents gets used to some of it eventually, when he's bought by Zero Marine in the 50s he starts to understand more that this is just how the Z Stacks act around each other and as long as nothing happens he can put up with Zip sometimes having colourful conversations with his fleet mates. Ten will never be a fan of Zip being really open with his fleet mates about anything and everything to do with their relationship but again, he's really just got to learn to live with that.

Zip to some extent is very close with his fleet in ways that Ten Cents doesn't really understand. It's the difference between a company of ships where there is a sailors brotherhood in general not anything stronger than that vs The Boat Mob where loyalty and camaraderie is basically its own found family [also bonding over the horrors].

Ten Cents still doesn't like talking to anyone about him and Zip's relationship. He thinks it's his business and his alone. So he tends not to ask for advice when he needs too. Usually one of the older tugs can see something is up and prod the question out of Ten. Or Zip can tell that Ten needs to talk to someone and badger him into going to talk to OJ or Hercules [being in port permitting of course].

The two very much don't have what you'd consider a 'traditional' relationship. Ten Cents is not very interested in fooling around or anything above small kisses on the cheek and holding hands, especially not in public. Zip's also pretty neutral on the topic so it works out for them. Zip is a lot more cuddly of the two, and when alone he likes to be in Tens lap or leaning on him. Ten can get overwhelmed by Zip's cuddling sometimes but he usually says something and Zip gives him space when he needs it.

When the boathouse [God speed to the boathouse I gotta explain that someday] was completed in the 60s, Zip and Ten were the most excited for it! No more arguments about where to meet after work or whose ship to spend time in! However it took them a long time to adjust to sleeping in the same bed regularly. They worked it out eventually but for a while they'd either end up fighting or someone would storm off to their ship for the night. The existence of the boathouse does lead to them getting a bit more adventurous with their relationship. Now Ten Cents and Zip will occasionally [checks notes] kiss on the lips and cuddle more. Sometimes Zip needs to spend a night on his ship and Ten doesn't understand what the heck Zip gets up too or why he needs the space. Zip knows better than to press the topic lol. Zip has occasionally breached the topic of being more affectionate and involved but Ten Cents doesn't really understand the appeal and Zip isn't too fussed at the end of the day. He loves Ten Cents and Ten Cents loves him and that's quite enough for the two of them. This is my "the boats are ace" propaganda because I'm ace and I'm projecting god dammit.

I have non ship stuff to say about Zip and Ten Cents in my au, with them as individuals, but a lot of it is niche and situational or actively being written into fics and I can't spoil everything now can I.

Always happy to talk tugs head cannons and AU stuffs, if you can listen to the old man ramble feel free to ask away anytime!

[randomkposts]

I remember the starfish

I love Fire Emblem Fates. My favorite is Awakening, but Fates has a special place in my heart for all of its flaws, and plotholes I love to poke at. No malice meant, if I didn't care, I'd probably just leave it alone. Instead it takes up so much brainspace.

So I think I might want to write something a bit more themed another time, but for now I want to write some scattered thoughts.

First, If I were going to change just one thing, I would give Azura ,Kaze as a retainer. And Shura.

Why? It bugs me that she didn't have any retainers, and Corrin has 3 household staff, their teacher, a childhood best friend, and a Ninja, most of whom are willing to follow them even if they defect. That's pretty excessive, that they just have a small- personally loyal fighting force. And Kaze's just hanging around, a trained retainer not assinged to anyone. And really Mikoto, Azura is your niece, you can give her one retainer at least.

Kaze defecting to Nohr to protect his charge makes arguably more sense then his reasons for defecting to Nohr on Corrins behalf.

Azura recruiting Shura as a retainer, fits with the older of the Nohrian sibilings having a criminal retainer. They also have a personal history between them that would be intresting to explore in a support. A support with Ryoma would also be intresting, as Shura states his family used to serve the royal family until his principality was taken over by Mokushu, so learning more about that would be neat.

Speaking of retainers, Despite three Nobrian Siblings havinging a criminal as a retainer, the person with the weirdest retainers is Hinoka, for having the least retainer-like retainers in the game. And Ryoma has 2 ninjas as retainers, which perhaps says some odd things about his diplomatic choices.

Hinoka does her own chores, protects her retainers, and seems to barely know anything about Azama beforehand. Until we learn from her support with Niles in Revelations that Hinoka hired Setsuna for her skill in archery, I was almost convinced she was hired to annoy Takumi.

And yet they are the last retainers sticking around the Hoshidan royals when they are recruited in Revelations.

Hillarious. Baffling. Lends a diffrent weight to Hinokas support with Saizo in this route, not that it wasn't already weird, but there was more cause for suspicion.

Speaking of supports, Sakura takes Corrin's amnesia as a sign that Silas is cursed. Meanwhile, in Birthright Takumi gets mindwhammied and dragon posessed, and Sakura does nothing to try to help. Which to be fair, nither instance lasted long. Who knows if she could have done anything effective, but in the Conquest one she doesn't seem to take note of his dirastically changed attitude as something to worry about, yet was far quicker to diagnose Silas as "something was off. Maybe its cause Silas a stranger, and she doesn't want to see anything wrong with her closest brother, but I wonder what got her attention in the first place to draw that conclusion.

I haven't played Engage, but even without that I am pretty sure Corrin is the most watched avatar we have ever played. Their big sister Camilia and her retainers makes it 3 in a lifetime, as said by Selena/Severa.

"Selena: Lady Camilla! Sorry we got ahead of you. But you should have heard the horrible things Lord/Lady Corrin said to us. Even though we used to watch over them, they don't remember us at all. Sure, we always stuck to the shadows and never introduced ourselves... but still! I could cry right now. Really! I really could!

Beruka: All that time hovering... caring... watching... it was all for naught. They has no heart.

Camilla: Now, now, you two. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm certain they would remember, given more time. You simply must forgive them."

No wonder Corrin is so chill with Ryoma's Ninjas and other people following them around.

A headcanon, Odin/Owain can use dragon Veins. Anankos can hide his brand, but he can't undo that he is decended from the Exalted line of Ylisse, a heritige who also formed a pact which presumably involved drinking dragons blood. (That does seem to be a series consistant for how one gets a stats edge, with consent of the dragon being pretty important in how well they control it. )

He uses it once by accident. Leo did see it, but never confronts him on it. Maybe they might be siblings, but if this is what kept him alive and he's happy with living his life, then Leo isn't going to be the one to tell anyone. One of them may as well be happy.

If I were going to change something about the Fates Kids, I would mess with Shiro. Ryoma never told him until recruitment that he was royalty. So what if Shiro, figuring Ryoma is impotant, but not connecting the dots (as in cannon) comes to the (incorrect) conclusion that he is the next Saizo. And so comes with the Ninja class, alomg with some family drama, lol.

I would also tone down Soleil's supports, and add some depths to the other kids, but ninja Shiro creating some family drama with the retainers is a concept that amuzes me

I'll end it here for now. Might write a second at some point.

[impale-me-radio-daddy]

If Lookalike befriended Lucifer, I could imagine Alastor seeing this as the GOLDEN opportunity to make a deal with the King of Hell himself. It's actually a triple whammy, 1. He gets to make a deal with the most strongest being in Hell, 2. He doesn't have to lower himself to befriend Lucifer since you've already done that for him and 3. Lucifer wouldn't actually know he's made a deal with Al instead of Lookalike, so he'd take great delight in knowing that he pulled one over on the Devil himself. It's a win-win-win, and all Al has to do is pretend to be Lookalike just as they pretend to be him. Just an evening or two, three if he wants to be very careful, in their place with the fallen angel, and he'll have the King of Hell unknowingly sitting in his back pocket.

Smash cut to Al out with Lucifer. Als desperately trying to keep up Lookalikes doe-eyed, naive smile on his face and keep the conversation under control while Lucifer is giving them/him bedroom eyes and showing off how long and flexible his forked tongue is on his dinner fork. Lucifer is the King of Hell, not the King of Subtlety, and Alastor might have underestimated how 'friendly' Lookalike and the King were with eachother.

I'm sorry anon, as a wife guy myself I really struggle to lewd Lucifer with anyone other than his wife. If his wife signs off on it that's fine, but thinking about Lucifer cheating while he's still wearing his wedding ring gives me the big sads. It's silly, I know, but even fictional infidelity gets me in the feels in a bad way.

So, instead, how about the following:

Socially clueless Lucifer sees Alastor hovering around Lookalike like a ferocious mother hen, and comes to completely the wrong conclusion about their relationship. Ah, he thinks, very incorrectly, this must be Alastor's adopted child.

What follows, then, is an excruciatingly awkward sequence in which Lucifer attempts to do Dad Things for Lookalike in order to spite Alastor. He takes Lookalike (and also his actual daughter and her girlfriend) to sports games and theme parks with him. He creates spectacular desserts for them with his angelic powers, and also creates gifts relevant to their hobbies from thin air.

Imagine, if you will, Lucifer maintaining eye contact with Alastor as he buys Lookalike a car. Husk is facepalming in the background. Alastor is bemused.

"Now, I am the daddy" says Lucifer, in an entirely paternal and non sexual way. "I'll buy you anything you want, kid, then we can play catch in the back yard."

"I am so confused right now," Angel Dust says, squinting, as Husk starts drinking neat scotch straight from the bottle.

Alastor knows he can probably convince Lucifer to contract him a portion of his angelic power if he disguises himself as Lookalike for an afternoon, but that afternoon will involve calling Lucifer "dad". Is that really a price he's willing to pay?

[bernkastel-ao3]

How do you feel about ambiguous open-ended conclusions to stories?

Sorry about taking so long to reply.

It depends on the story would be the initial answer. To try and expand on that, it depends on how that affects what happened in the story and what a reader/viewer)player will be left with. To use the two works I saw someone else you asked this to use, Metal Gear Solid 2 and Danganronpa V3 end in a way where you can potentially look at everything that happened and go "Was that all unreal even in the setting?". But they also both try to give the person playing them a message that they hope will allow the reader to still feel like the experience had meaning, with MGS2 having Snake talking about the value of what people in experience, like through what could be called fiction in some way, and in passing that to others, while DRV3 talks about fiction having meaning and power, regardless of how fake or not it might be.

To add another game, Nier Automata ends in a way where it's outright stated that all the tragedy that occured through the game could end up repeating, regardless of your efforts for the final ending. But it's a work that clearly feels that struggling to carry on and to hope for something better in spite of no reason really to do so has meaning.

In contrast to those, there's one game I played last year that had a trick in regards to how the story is presented, which turns into the reality of that setting being dismantled at the end. But for me, it doesn't feel like I'm given anything from that, in terms of story impact or conveying something. I see the twist, what results from that, and go "That's neat, them pulling this off. It meant nothing to me, but I guess I can appreciate it". A way to show what I mean would be, imagine if a show had a superbly animated moment that was given a ton of attention and clearly meant to be super important, but had no meaning for anything that's going on.

That's what badly done ambiguity feels like for me. It's there, but I don't feel anything from it. Or I'll be thinking "There's was this build up and it's for something this flat or empty?"

I guess this can be summarised like this. For me, did I come out of the work feeling like I was really impacted by what the work was trying to convey, emotionally? If a work does that, I might love that ambiguous open ending and treasure it. If I come out of a work not feeling like that or just like I can appreciate the ambiguity or whatever intellectually, any enthusiasm will likely fade to me adopting stance of "That was all neat, but I feel nothing from thinking about it".

[fussyspace]

As this is my first review for the SPSFC, I'll explain my process before diving in. I'm going to try to give my thoughts on the covers and blurbs as well as the content of the books, as some people seemed to be interested in this. I'm trying to be as objective as possible in both my ratings and my reviews, but of course some personal variation is bound to creep in somewhere. This is why we have multiple people in our judging team – my views won't necessarily reflect the whole.

I'm reading these all as ebooks to ensure a level playing field, though some are available as audiobooks. It would be particularly difficult to tell how well edited a book is without seeing the words, after all.

Anyway, on to the review.

To Climates Unknown, Arturo Serrano

I'd actually had this one on my wishlist for a while after seeing it (I think) in last year's SPSFC, my eyes immediately caught by 'a world without America'. (Look, I'm sorry guys, it's nothing personal.)

Word count: ~ 93,600

Cover: Nice and professional, does what it needs to do. Makes me curious about these unknown climates. I find the composition satisfying for some reason. The ship also seems reasonably accurate to the Mayflower, to my Plymothian eyes. Having read the book, the tagline doesn't really fit, but I'll explain why when I get to the content.

Blurb: This starts off by saying that the United States were destroyed in 1620. For reasons I'll go into in the content section, that's probably not the best way of phrasing it. The following paragraph clarifies that it was just the Mayflower that went missing, but by this point we've had the idea of 'world without America' cemented twice in our heads. The rest of it sets the stage for some interesting happenings far removed from the events of our timeline.

Vote: I voted Yes to continue at the 30% mark (my personal vote, not necessarily team vote) and carried on to read the full book.

Note: The following review does contain some spoilers. A lot of things happen in the book, so there are many things that remain unspoiled, and I believe I've only mentioned events in detail from the first half of the book, but my memory is patchy enough that I could be wrong. So if you're planning to read the book yourself, be aware before reading on.

Content: There is nothing that stands out more in To Climates Unknown than the fact that it has been meticulously historically researched. The narrative takes us from one relatively minor inflection point through multiple facets of history before reaching its conclusion. Historical figures, events, philosophies, religions... they're scattered in bucketfuls throughout the story.

Unfortunately, committing such a wealth of information to the page doesn't make it any easier to read. The writing style already boasts incredibly long paragraphs and sentences that can be difficult to get on with. At first I thought this might be a deliberate attempt to emulate the style of the period, but given this book stretches almost to the present day, I'm less certain. In any case, coupled with all the historical name dropping, it feels like a bit of a chore to get through, with a nagging feeling you need to google something every time you come across a new name.

The book splits its narrative into several parts, each focussing on a different set of events in its altered timeline and a different collection of characters. This was an incredibly large and diverse collection, from stubborn Mayflower descendants to ambassadors, from teachers to women disguised as eunuchs. I found a character from the ojibwe tribe quite interesting, though explaining they were two-spirit (or words to that effect) felt a little anachronistic given the term was only coined in 1990 with no historical precedent as far as I can tell. Given the use of the wiin pronoun taken from their language, it would have been neat to see the tribe's own terminology used here. But this is more a suggestion than a complaint, about something I have absolutely no expertise in.

The problem, character-wise, is that there are just so many of them, presented in a third-person omniscient point of view that can leave you feeling a little confused when it dips into other characters' brains. (With a more defined narrative voice, perhaps it might have avoided this problem.) By the time you're starting to enjoy their story and appreciate a character, they're gone. It's the next character's turn. It's obvious the book's focus is on the long, overarching story, but this problem also translates to events. Because of the length and scale of the narrative, no event or character is really focussed on long enough to care about. Some events that feel massive are resolved in a single sentence i.e. 'we won the war'. I would have very much liked to spend more time there and see how they won it.

Now we get to what is really the core of an alternative history book: the plausibility of the inflection point and all the events spilling over after it.

This is where To Climates Unknown fell down for me – or at least left me feeling ambivalent. I admit that as I was never quite able to suspend my disbelief, it's possible I found more things implausible than actually are.

At the beginning, it was quite difficult to work out what exactly had changed. The Mayflower hadn't reached its destination, sure. Of course, there were still colonies in America from other countries, but in the first few chapters I didn't spot a clear reference to what had happened over there. I didn't actually notice until several paragraphs into one chapter that the characters were now in America. This came as quite a surprise, given the tagline of 'a world without America'. (The chapter did begin with a location of New Amsterdam, I think, but not everyone knows that's what New York used to be called. This follows a trend of location tags not including a country, which can make it difficult to follow where things are if you don't immediately recognise the name.) 'A world without the United States' might have been more specific to the theme, and 'The United States as we know it never came to be' (or similar) would have been more accurate in the blurb, if less punchy.

The fact that the English pretty much gave up on settling America after the Mayflower disappeared seemed odd to me. It was still a land rich with resources. They still had ships (for a while). But they just let it sit there while everyone else took pieces of it rather than diving back into the race.

The true inflection point – the death of William Adams – had somehow led to no one developing the shipbuilding techniques to easily travel long distances. This supposedly explains the colonisation difficulties. I find it difficult to believe that no one else would have filled the gap. Instead, one empire ends up with submarines (seemingly well enough insulated/heated to travel beneath the arctic sea ice and not freeze everyone). One empire ends up with steam carriages. One empire ends up with airships. Most implausibly of all: at no point in hundreds of years do any of the other empires acquire their opponents' technology. It's like the setup for a game: each empire has their own special unit. In reality, that technology would have spread. Sure, one empire might have better submarines. One might have better airships. But they wouldn't have sole control.

This 'one technology' pony extends to another problem: warfare. Early in the book, one of the empires forms by knocking Britain out of the game... with submarines. But you can't occupy land with submarines. For that, you need troops. The empire had the Scots on board, but it would have been a much more protracted civil war than what seemed to happen, which was waltzing into London and taking out everyone important. I got the same sort of 'rock up with special technology and capture stuff' feel for the rest of the book – a sort of wishful-thinking picture of technology and warfare that extended all the way through to the end. I can't say all the decisions made sense, either. One of the empires wanted to melt both ice caps simply to make travel easier and gain more land by keeping constant fires burning nearby. That's such an incredibly stupid idea that I might put it past a ruler from, say, the 11th century at a (very big) push, but certainly not the 17th. They wouldn't even have needed to if they'd pinched the airship technology. And it's one of those plot lines that feels like it should be huge but just sort of peters out and pops up every now and then later.

Overall, I did find To Climates Unknown interesting and its individual events and characters compelling. I appreciate the sheer amount of research that went into it (including visiting some of the locations, according to the acknowledgements) and I liked the point it ended up making about America to bring the thing full circle. I just didn't find the route it took to get there particularly engaging or believable. Perhaps if it had spent more time in the sunset of the empires rather than their foundation, or split each of its parts into separate books where we could spend more time with the characters and events surrounding them, it would have been more cohesive.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

*soft gasp* MORE Stranger Things AU??? What have I done to deserve such a delight???

“Demetri wished he hadn’t skipped gym all those times in favor of playing Dungeon Lord in the computer lab.” AKSJHBFYIFO MOOD But also, hey...if he HADN’T ditched to play Dungeon Lord all those times, would he know half as much as he does about all the monsters they’re fighting??? CHECK AND MATE, DEMETRI’S SELF-LOATHING

I love how Demetri's general gangliness actually makes him really fast because of those long spindly legs XD Hell, even Daniel pointed it out!!! Literally just a speed demon and he's none the wiser about it. An advantage he can never fully embrace because he's so deep in his self-loathing XD

ELI HOLDING ONTO HIM SUPER TIGHT THO ;______; That boy is devoted, dammit, and to hell with anyone who says otherwise!!! Ride or fucken DIE for one Mr. Demetri Alexopoulos, horrifying apocalypse or no <3

Of course their hideout would be in the library. The nerds XD

DEMETRI NOOOO, of COURSE he's always so busy thinking about how Eli would be better off without him around that he doesn't realize that Eli actively still wants him there. If he didn't, he wouldn't have dramatically murdered that monxispot for him XD My poor self-loathing baby </3

"looking Demetri over with that stupid concerned look" AKDJHSOUBG the irony of this when it's usually Eli bitching about Demetri looking at him with a "stupid concerned look" XD All throughout the worst of Real Evil Hawk Hours, Demetri was just so worried about Eli and all the crap he was clearly dealing with and covering up with Ultra-Macho. And Eli fucken hated it because it meant he had to admit to himself that he wasn't doing okay, and the person who knew him best in the world was onto him faking all his happiness and coolness. And now it's almost the exact opposite situation--Demetri has almost too much self-awareness about what a mess he is (enough to come to the conclusion he's a burden on Eli) and is annoyed that Eli still loves him anyways. So the same kind of "ugh why do you still care about a pathetic loser like me" mentality, except in Eli's case it was everything under "the Hawk" and with Demetri it's just...his entire person :( Idk if that's what you were going for but I Just Think It's Neat <3

Demetri remembering when everyone was fighting over the bean bag chair...my heart tho :( :( :(

Eli getting super pissed at Demetri even suggesting maybe he'd be better off with Demetri dead??? Eli reminding Dem of all the ways he's still smart and capable and helpful in a time when being "book smart" isn't all that useful anymore??? YASSSSS WE LOVE TO SEE IT Like if Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz isn't holding onto Demetri Alexopoulos with everything he has and then some, ready to burn the world if it means Eli could save him, then what even is the point of anything???

Tbh I want so bad to see more of this aggressively overprotective and supportive Eli/Hawk in canon. Like we've gotten bits and pieces in S4 and S5, but I need MORE!!! Give me Eli ready to murder anyone who looks at his boyfriend best friend wrong!!! Give me Eli being a shamelessly supportive friend to make up for being such a little shit in S2 and S3!!! We've gotten a few moments, but I NEED Eli to swing entirely in the other direction and become terrifying for Demetri's sake instead of trying to terrify Demetri with evil antics!!! This is why I appreciate fic so much--the scary overprotective boyfriend Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz of my dreams can become a full-time reality <3 <3

"But us two cowards make a formidable team." Akajahousgdi dork flirting at its finest XD Also awwww at Eli trying to reassure his mans <3 "Yeah I know you're kinda lame, but it's okay!!! I am too!!!" Relationship goals tbh.

Even in the apocalypse Eli Moskowitz is cuddly and clingy af, good for him <3 <3 <3

By god, you've done it again!!! You have written a fic that severely slaps!!! I'm sorry I've gone so long without reblogging but you will be getting more soon if it's the last thing I do!!!

Yoooo it’s me, the “hell yeah” anon!!! You’re so talented ♥️ Any way I could get binary boyfriends with the dialogue prompt “I won’t let this happen”?

yooo, what's up "hell yeah" anon !! thank you, here's a little 500 word drabble for you set in the stranger things au. if you haven't seen it (because i only did like one drabble on it) it's an apocalypse (set post s4 of st) and demetri names the creatures after Dungeon Lord creatures, aka names i made up, so...monxispot = demogorgan

okay, enjoy :-)

Demetri wished he hadn't skipped gym all those times in favor of playing Dungeon Lord in the computer lab.

He was lanky, though the only advantage that held in running was distance. Of course, Eli still had to pull him along, a grip like iron around his wrist. His feet pounded against the crackling cement, clinging to Eli like a lifeline as he inhaled strange alien particles with every burning, staggering breath.

They found shelter in the library, which had been their hideout for the past two weeks. As soon as they were in, the door locked and Eli pushed the barricade against the wall, an old shelf of history books that probably weighed twenty pounds each.

Demetri panted, hugging his arms, the panic rising within him like a bittersweet betrayal. His eyes welled up as he bit his lip, turning to walk off before turning back. He couldn't just walk away, he couldn't leave Eli after this. Even if it'd be better for him if Demetri went out right now and sacrificed himself. 

"You okay?" Eli asked once he got control of his breaths, looking Demetri over with that stupid concerned look.

Demetri was frozen in place for what felt like hours, really assessing the question. What he was expected to respond. He shook his head. A tear or two slipped down his cheek, and he found himself looking down at the ground, down at his now blurry beat-up Converse. "You could've died...and it would've been my fault..."

"What?" Demetri could hear Eli's voice, slightly indistinctive, then his arms around him. "Hey, no, that's not true. We're okay, alright? We're okay..." Eli took him over to one of the beanbag chairs they were calling a bed, and they collapsed onto it together. It was a funny thing, because once upon a time, when the world was unbroken, they were only allowed ten minutes on the beanbag. So many people were waiting for a chance to read there...what Demetri wouldn't give to have another kid argue over that spot now.

"Eli," Demetri managed, wiping his eyes, his voice hardening. "I'm only making things harder for you. The Monxispot could've gotten you because you were too busy being worried about me, and if you would just let me...die..."

"I won't let that happen," Eli snapped. He looked on the brink of tears at the mere thought. "I'll never let that happen. I may be a faster runner, but you knew your way around the school's vents. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to even access the school's food supply. You're a genius, Demetri. If you think I'm letting you go, then...maybe you're not as much of a genius as I thought..." He rested his head on Demetri's shoulder, arms wrapped around him.

"I'm a coward," Demetri attempted once more, eyes stinging as a lump sat low in his throat.

"I am, too," Eli insisted, voice crackling just the same. "But us two cowards make a formidable team."

Well, maybe Eli was right about one thing.

[fireemblems24]

AM review! I loved hearing what you thought of the route, and I was wondering about your favourite quality of each Lion? 👀 - travelling-on-the-octopath (via main)

I am so so sorry this took so long to write, but I really ended up taking my time thinking about what I love about all the Blue Lions so much. Bonus I also included Rodrigue and Gilbert.

Dimitri - 

Oh, geeze, only one thing? Well, since I just posted about his sense of duty and how he doesn't pull the "woe is me for being so privileged" card, I'll talk about his compassion instead. I love how this is both his greatest strength and weakness. How he gets so influenced by other people's hurt and doesn't know how to put healthy barriers up. But it's also that side of him that emphasizes so strongly with Byleth and coaxes the emotions out of her, the side of him that finds it in himself to forgive Edelgard. I also love how amazing his character arc is, and how he loves helping people so much, and I could keep going lol.  

Dedue - 

He's both the gentle giant who loves gardening and cooking, but utterly terrifying and completely badass in his loyalty to Dimitri. I also love how he handles Duscur. He admits to hating Faerghus for what they did, but that doesn't blind him to total prejudice. When confronted by Ingrid, he doesn't feel the need to personally carry the weight of her prejudice and "teach" her differently, letting her come to her own conclusions. I just think it's neat to see a character who experiences racism that isn't the one pressured to change, it's everyone else who has to do that leg work. 

Felix - 

I love what his character arc changes say about his character and that he even gets them, but that's too long for this. My favorite thing about Felix is how tragic parts of him are. Felix cares about his friends and family with his entire heart, but has no skill at communicating or processing complex emotions. He hates seeing them all hurting, hates himself for being unable to do anything, and ends up hurting everyone he cares so much about. It's what makes his arc so powerful in AM that he matures out of that. 

Ingrid -

I love how she takes a common FE character tick (massive eater), but turns it into something serious. But more than that I love how realistic her struggle is. She has her own dreams and passions and naturally wants to pursue them, but actually addresses and acknowledges the benefits of a political marriage rather than just waxing poetic about wanting "romantic love." Bouns points because her struggle isn't "I want to marry for love", but "I want to be a knight" wayyyyy cooler. 

Sylvain - 

I'm going with the expected answer here with his complexity. His excessive flirting isn't treated as a joke, but a side-effect of a serious psychological damage and treated as a serious issue too, not as a wish-fulfillment trait. But he's also one of the best and brightest leaders in this game, and is so painfully loyal to his friends and family. It's a crime against his character that he's so easy to recruit. 

Mercedes - 

She embodies that "I'm a healer, but . . ." meme. Mercedes is incredibly sweet and cares about everyone, but she's not a boring or one-note character and her gentleness doesn't make her a pushover either. She is not afraid to share her mind. I also love how she enjoys trolling everyone with ghost stories. You know Annette and Ashe suffered many a night because of her. 

Annette - 

I love how determined she is once she sets her mind to something. Whether it's her studies or trying to find her father, Annette goes after what she wants and puts 100% into everything. Not being the best at studying doesn't deter her either, she just admires others who don't have to try as hard and tries to learn from them.

Ashe - 

I'm cheating and using something from Hopes. I love how Ashe decided to fight for what he believed in. He worried about and considered what Lonato would do, but ultimately chose to follow his heart and do what he thought was right, and that takes a lot of courage. 

Gustave -

How he's able to overcome his immense depression when needed. Gustave is still racked with guilt, still believes himself unworthy of his family and Faerghus, but he's able to work through that and ultimately come through in the end. 

Rodrigue - 

His ability to balance being himself and an effective duke. He seems to know when it's ok to just be a father or just Rodrigue and never comes across either too married to duty or like he ignores his responsibilities for his own desires. He seems quite mature in his outlook on life. 

[bloodraven55]

I saw a post recently where someone else analysed how Luz's love language is acts of service and Amity's is physical affection, and it got me thinking so in light of today's incredible episode I want to do some serious digging into Luz's feelings for Amity. This is probably gonna get pretty long but hey, these two are more than worth it.

I'm going to go through three key episodes for Luz and Amity's relationship so that I can properly illustrate my points, starting with Lost in Language.

First, I want to talk about how, despite the fact that Amity had been nothing but objectionable to her so far, literally all it takes for Luz to decide she wants to befriend her anyway is reading about Azura befriending Hecate in her book and seeing Amity reading to kids at the library. This clearly establishes that Luz is intrigued by Amity and willing to go out of her way to connect with her, even when Amity hasn't yet given her any particular reason to do so.

Next, let's talk about the manner in which Luz tries to save Amity from Otabin later in the same episode. This is one of the first times we see Luz attempt to be Amity's hero, as she chooses to make an unnecessarily dramatic entrance dressed as her own version of Azura, playing the role of the dashing knight come to rescue the fair maiden albeit not quite as gracefully as is usual in these stories lol. She even takes the time to doodle Amity being impressed by her performance too, introducing the idea that Amity's perception of her means a lot to Luz.

Finally for this episode, we get another example of both these things: Luz putting in a substantial effort to bond with Amity, and Luz wanting to impress Amity or get specific reactions from her. After impulsive plan to get them away from Otabin works, Luz finds the time to be a good even when they're running for their lives and actually manages to make Amity laugh which was an impressive feat at that point tbh, looking extremely pleased when her comment is received positively.

These next two moments provide a neat link to the next episode I want to discuss, Adventures in the Elements, so I'll cover them in one go. We see Luz's first Act of Service for Amity when she offers her the Azura book she's missing to show that she wants to be friends, and then when she meets Amity to get it back we see how important the gesture was for Luz. She's very eager to hear Amity's thoughts, loves it when she finds the fanart Amity drew, and in general it's just obvious that this was another attempt to impress Amity on Luz's part.

This only continues as Luz proudly proclaims that she's going to join Amity's class at Hexside, even winking at her in the process, and solidifies the significance of her giving Amity the book even more by suggesting they start a club to talk about it further. Like, seriously, this entire episode is pretty much just Luz being adorably excited to share classes with Amity and flat out learning a whole new spell just to make sure it happens.

The interesting thing here, though, is that Luz gets really nervous as soon as the twins suggest they all train together, enough to lie to them in a moment of panic, and then gets super embarrassed when she sees that Amity is also practicing at the Knee. This doesn't seem to make much sense since Amity is being pretty nice by this point and not at all mocking or condescending, and Luz has given up on trying to look cool to the twins by now too. But it actually makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is another instance of Luz wanting to impress Amity and worrying about looking inept in front of her.

There's also the way that Luz is just... so clumsy and awkward around Amity in these episodes. The girl knocks a book to the floor and falls off a rock just trying to say hello, for crying out loud, complete with stammering over her words. Yeah, it's safe to say Luz is lowkey crushing on Amity here.

Don't worry, because I saved the best for last. Enchanting Grom Fright is basically the culmination of everything those two previous episodes set up. Not only do we get two Acts of Service from Luz, with her offering to face her own worst fear for Amity with zero hesitation and then happily offering to go to Grom with her so that Amity wouldn't end up alone, but she also brings out some dramatic flair when she declares herself Amity's “fearless champion,” like a knight in shining armour vowing to protect her princess although she still hasn't got the graceful part down lmao.

Plus, there's the fact that in both of their Lingering Eye Contact in Close Proximity with Romantic Tension™ moments in the episode, Luz's expression is the exact same as Amity's, wide-eyed and curious like she's not quite sure what to make of what she's feeling. And that's even before she just full on starts flirting with Amity later on. I'm sorry, but those smirks and fancy show-off moves while dancing are not remotely heterosexual, Luz.

All of this brings us to their current situation: Amity is aware of her crush on Luz but thinks that Luz only sees her as a friend, and Luz is subconsciously flirting with Amity as well as trying to show off for her and be her hero but remains fairly unaware of her crush on her and thinks that Amity likes someone else. So in conclusion, teenagers are useless, but we been knew. Rather, the point I want to end on is that there's a reason why Luz and Amity were so in sync with such amazing chemistry during their dance when they weren't talking, and it's because they both have different ways of communicating their emotions but when they let their actions speak for them they were finally on the same page albeit briefly.

tl;dr - Luz and Amity are both crushing hard on each other, they just need to realise that the other has a different way of expressing their feelings and find the courage to be honest with each other. Amity's crush is more glaringly blatant, what with all the blushing and gay panicking and wanting to ask Luz to the school dance, but Luz's crush on Amity is also pretty evident in the way she tries so hard to impress her and often steps in to help her out with grand gestures, which she never does to anywhere near the same extent with any of her other friends.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Ok, let's end this thing. I'm sorry for not answering sooner but you know... time zones.

Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place. -Chapter 2, Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling

So, here we have our first introduction to Harry. His hair is untamable, and it grows all over the place.

"Oh -well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes," said Ron. "And have you really got -- you know…" He pointed at Harry's forehead. Harry pulled back his bangs to show the lightning scar. Ron stared. -Chapter 6, Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling

Another important thing to remember is that Harry can cover his scar with his hair.

The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry's did. -Chapter 12, Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling

This is Harry describing James in the Mirror of Erised, and they have the same hair. The hair is very untidy and it stacks up at the back. Not being a native English speaker I even went to check what "stack at the back" means exactly, and it's in reference to the crown of his head.

Also, Harry here is comparing his hair to adult James' one, and Harry keeps looking like James throughout the series, so we know he doesn't change his haircut:

James’s eyes were hazel, his nose was slightly longer than Harry’s and there was no scar on his forehead, but they had the same thin face, same mouth, same eyebrows; James’s hair stuck up at the back exactly as Harry’s did, his hands could have been Harry’s and Harry could tell that, when James stood up, they would be within an inch of each other in height. -Chapter 28, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Now, a couple of notes that I feel are in order:

Harry's hair is not curly. It's probably wavy but not curly. the point is that it's unnaturally messy.

The fade (at least the one in Bianca's drawing) requires a level of attention to the hair that doesn't really go along with the whole my hair is a mess and it grows back during the night if someone tries to cut it. In OotP, we know Harry doesn't have a neat appearance. Now, post-war is another story obviously.

Just to talk about everything, Harry probably wouldn't have been fond of a man bun because long hair would have reminded him of the year on the run. As an Auror, he also probably would have needed to take a lot of care of how to tie it, and it's something I have a hard time seeing Harry do.

My conclusion: When it comes to the books-time-line Harry, he doesn't have the fade nor the flop. Unless the fade is considered in a more generic sense, and the sides aren't as short as the ones in Bianca's drawing that was taken as a reference. Post-war, the fade is a more accurate image of Harry's hair than the flop.

but what is so wrong with the flop

excellent question i’m glad you asked.

harry’s hair canonically sticks up all over the place and is generally untidy.

UP. IT STICKS UP.

flops do not stick up. they flop over.

i’ll ask @thegirlwhowrites642 to look into this because i know she has the chapters and page numbers to go along with it and i fully intend on backing up my position on this very important subject with canonical proof.

[topherfoxtrot]

Nosy neighborhood

(or a reflection on the bittersweet nature of nostalgia)

What about a one shot about a tv show I never watched? It sounds fun doesn't it? Well it contains spoilers for the third Webisode of the walking dead called "The Oath" released in 2013. It can be easily found on Vimeo. Trigger warnings include grief and pessimism. Also I wrote this one on first person because I just think first person writing is neat😄

Everyone was gathered in the building that used to be a church. Except from the obvious architecture though you couldn't even tell. Even the beautiful stained glass was mostly gone. And there was no giant wooden cross in sight. Only tables full of food, drinks, and of course the band composed of four singing voices, an acoustic guitar, two saxophones, half a set of drums, a fucking button accordion, a xylophone and a def. Basically every instrument the scavengers could find over the years. Since the world has ended our neighborhood united to form a urban fortress.

I was in a corner with some friends not really interested in the conversation. My eyes scanned the whole place looking for the handsome, tall man with his long blonde straight hair. When I finally spotted Paul grabbing some food I whispered without actually intending to.

"There you are!"

"What?" One of my friends followed my eyes, "Oh my god are you really going after the man?"

"Dude is just introvert!" Another friend rolled his eyes, "That's why he is always in his basement."

"That is simply not true!" I said, "Y'all know how much I hate people, alive or otherwise, and yet I'm always here for our sunday gatherings."

"You know what?" my friend finished her beer before continuing, "Fucking go after him. If it turns out he's just lonely you will get my cleaning shifts for the whole month. And if you find a big secret of his or whatever I'll get yours. How about that?"

"It sounds like a deal!" Me and my friend shook hands with smiles on our faces.

"I can't believe you're going to bother the poor man just because he likes to eat by himself." My other friend shook his head in disapproval before smiling too, "But anyways if you find anything please spill the beans to us!"

"Gotcha!" I winked at them before making my move.

Paul put a lot of food inside an old Tupperware and walked towards the door like he usually did. I moved between the people trying to avoid being seen by him. Paul briefly talked to one or two people before leaving. I left the church a little after, making sure to give him time to step further from the door.

Most of the people were at the church so the streets were empty. I sneaked around corners and alleys and cars like I did so many times outside the walls. I still remember before the outbreak when not everyone needed to be a soldier in order to survive. It's been almost seven years but I still caught myself getting nostalgic sometimes.

I followed Paul for a few blocks. Housing was an issue in our community. Over the years more people started to come and babies started to be born once we reached a certain stability. Paul was one of those people who duo to his efforts towards the community gained the privilege to live on his own instead of in one of the communal houses like I did. He was one of the scavenging teachers after all. And my favorite one, I might add.

Besides being handsome he was also super quiet about anything that didn't concerned the classes. And to become a survivor as good as him you gotta have a past. We asked about it before but he always avoided the topic. This made me even more curious. I've always felt like he was hiding something and tonight I would finally figure out what!

It took a couple minutes for him to reach the big house with two floors and a front yard. Instead of entering the front door though he bypassed the house to enter through the basement door in the back. Paul lives in a basement just like a character from a book I read before the outbreak. Something about a woman watching her neighbours or something. I don't remember the details but I do remember one of the characters lived in a basement like Paul does.

I leaned on the wall and listened carefully as Paul opened the metal doors. After listening to his steps gradually fading as he went downstairs I sneaked into the entrance feeling glad he didn't lock it. I waited there for a while until I was confident Paul was distracted enough not to realize the sounds the doors would make. I opened just one door super slowly and checked every few seconds to see if there was any abrupt movements inside. When I closed the door behind me everything was in darkness expect for the light coming from one of the rooms. My hand instinctively reached for my gun but it wasn't there. I didn't carry my gun inside the walls.

I cursed myself in silence and started to walk downstairs. I wish I could see all the furniture Paul had but I couldn't announce my presence so my only option was to follow the light, which I did swiftly. I could hear a voice but it took me a while to make any sense of it.

"I know you would love those parties they make every Sunday." Paul's voice came from the only room with light, "We even had those back in the day, you remember?" He let out a deep sigh, "I still miss those days. We didn't have much like we do here, but we were happy, weren't we? I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but I miss that, you know? I miss you, Karina."

There was not a sound to be heard expect for Paul's voice. The easiest explanation was that Paul was probably talking to a portrait ou painting like so many of us do. Death is such a common experience among the survivors. With this conclusion I could leave the house, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I wanted to know more about this Karina woman he was talking to. And about those old days.

I reached the entrance of the room but didn't dare to look inside. Instead I stayed there in silence, all my muscles stiffed. Quietly listening to Paul eating his dinner.

"Dominic talked to me again. You know, about the shifts and all that." Paul chuckled, "I'm not sure if we are just talking or flirting at this point. I know you are as terrible at this as I am but a little help would be good."

Paul chuckled again and a moan was heard. I felt my spine freeze as I obviously recognized the sound. A guttural and tired moan only a walker could make. I finally peeked into the room. There was no bed or beside table or any fortnite whatsoever. Paul was sat on a wooden chair eating his dinner with a fork. The most shocking thing though was the walker. The undead had it's arms tied tightly in a straightjacket. Saliva was falling from her mouth in the most grotesque waterfall I've ever seen. Paying special attention I realized her mouth was toothless. There was almost nothing left of hair in her head and the skin was this unnatural tone of grey. That walker was old. A thick chain kept it near the wall.

"What the fuck?" I whispered in terror.

Faster than I could even register Paul got up and pointed his revolver at me. I put my hands up and froze still.

"It's me! It's me! Please don't shoot."

It didn't seem like Paul would shoot me but he didn't put the gun down either. Instead he looked deep into my eyes. I tried to read him but as usual it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

"What are you doing here?" He asked finally with a deep voice.

"I... I was just-" the truth is that there was nothing to be said. I was there because I wanted to know what was up with him. And now I did.

"You shouldn't be here." He said firmly.

"I k-know!" I stuttered, "But you know what I'm already leaving, actually!"

"No!"

I stayed still. Paul took a deep sigh and finally put his gun down. The silence was only broken by the walker's unnerving sounds. Paul walked across the living room and brought a chair with him. Without saying anything he invited me to the room with the walker. I sat with them. Looking at it made me so uncomfortable all I wanted was to runway from there as fast as I could. Still, I stayed.

"This is Karina." Paul started, "We met in a settlement right after the outbreak."

"She died." I said, "And you couldn't let go of her."

"It's a little more complex than that."

I tried to look into Paul's eyes, but he was facing the ground. Once he was ready, Paul looked up at me.

"We made and oath. We wouldn't abandon each other no matter what. And when would fight for each other. One lives, all live."

Paul lifted hir shirt a little to show a huge scar on his belly. It looked well healed, "Our camp got raided by walkers. Me and Karina were the only survivors. I got this scar as a souvenir. But it looked bad, and I went unconscious for a couple hours."

At this point I kind of realized where this was going. I read Romeo and Juliet back at school. I hate tragedies. Paul lowered his shirt and shifted on his chair a little.

"Karina couldn't face the world on her own. She wanted to end all this pain and suffering."

"Oh no..." I covered my mouth slightly.

Paul tilted his head, "She killed herself. Once I got there it was already too late."

He stayed in silence for a while and I realized there were actual tears dropping from his eyes.

"But we made an oath!" He cried out. "We vowed never to leave each other and that's what I did!" He said even louder. The tears cleaning his face. "That's what I did-!!"

He choked on his own tears and couldn't say anything else. Paul just buried his face on his hands and cried while the walker (or should I say Karina?) moaned quietly in it's never ending hunger.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, no knowing what to say.

Paul got up still facing the ground. I quickly got up too and hugged him. He was taller than me so he had to bend a little to hug me back. That made his weight fall upon me. I had to stiff my legs in order not to simply fall down. But I carried him. He kept crying louder and louder. The walker got agitated but it didn't left it's place due to the restrains. I closed my eyes shut wishing with all of me for this to be over. Not Paul or the walker. Just everything else.

Pain and suffering left a scar on everyone. And I couldn't help but think, clouded by my own nostalgia, how much better things were before.