#also sorry for the weird arm on Emmy

[laneywrld]

things lost and things found | Lewis Hamilton

part two

word count: 10k

warnings: smut, smut, more smut, fluff.

A man not made for commitment also doesn’t know how to communicate

It's safe to say that since that night in Cannes nearly two months ago, the lines have blurred.

Every night Clem spends with Lewis ends with her falling asleep nestled in his arms.

Some nights, they don't even have sex; he just calls her up to see him. 

Their outings are no longer limited to his bedroom or whatever hotel he's shacked up in. They're often found all over tabloids and fan pages, seen out at clubs or dinners or even on simple excursions such as shopping or taking walks.

Clementine tries her hardest to remember that Lewis was noncommittal. He would never ever even think about dating her or taking her seriously. That realization and his vocally telling her to not make things weird every time he can see that he catches her off guard keeps her on track. 

Clem knew what she signed up for; quite literally, the NDA she signed entailed every component of their relationship.

Besides the weird butterflies she got around Lewis, life was only getting better and better.  

Being around someone who understands her fully and allows her to completely unravel herself to them has really been good for Clem socially and career-wise.

She was less awakward around people, less reserved and she felt like hey, this man has accepted me for my every little flaw, why wouldn't other people. 

She was moving up in the world, and people loved her for who she was, and for the first time ever, she did too.

She's won an emmy for her netflix show, her movie was breaking records, and she was finally stepping out of her box and showcasing other skills she had.

Along with this new burst of confidence came new relationships. 

She's been trying to go out on dates to see if now was finally the time for her to try to settle down and find something serious.

That what she was doing currently, at dinner sitting across from some NBA players as he rambles on and on about different shots he couldve taken during the game, that he most definitely lost.

Clem hums, eyes feigning interest as he describes how he actually wasn't open when he tried to go for a three-pointer. Shocker, he missed.

When he excuses himself to run to the bathroom, she whips out her phone, seeing that Lewis texted her. 

Lewis 🏁

How's your date?

She shakes her head, typing out her response.

dense. how's silverstone? 

Lewis 🏁

Nerve-wracking, my car is still shit.

i'm sorry 😞  

Lewis 🏁

I'm going to need you tonight.

Lewis, i'm on a date.

Clem scoffs, but the smile on her face as she presses send is misleading.

Lewis 🏁

Is he getting lucky tonight?

NO!

Lewis 🏁

So why can't I?

Clem feels the familiar tingle in her core and places her phone face down on the table just as her date takes his seat in front of her again. 

She can't help the incredulous eyebrow raise she gives him as she sees a powdery substance painting his nostril.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you, love." She smiles politely as she stands and motions for him to wipe his nose. He lifts his camera just as Clem drops enough money to cover her bill and tip the waitress generously. 

She hops into the black SUV, thanking her driver for helping her into the back. She unlocks her phone and sees another message from Lewis.

Lewis 🏁

My jet will be waiting for you.

That is precisely how Clementine ended up in Lewis' hotel room, waiting for him on the bed as he took a quick shower. 

When he emerges from the bathroom she can only offer him an uplifting smile, he looks so tired and so stressed. 

It helps, it always does which is why Lewis wanted her here in the first place. She was like sunrise after the darkest of nights.

"Hi," she coos, opening her arms for the muscly man.

He falls into her arms, his torso bare and his bottom half swaddled in a towel. He lays his head in her lap as she sits against the headboard. He looks up at her face as she stares down at his, and she physically pouts as she brings her fingers up to massage the stress lines from his face.

"That bad?" she whispers as his eyes flutter closed. Lewis sighs, grumbling out a faint "Yeah."

"You don't have to go through it much longer, at least." She tries and she knows it does nothing to take the heavy weight of mercedes off of his shoulders.

"You feel like you're carrying the weight of the world." She hums, her hands traveling down to rub the tension out of his neck. Her fist rubs up and down from the sides of his neck to the crook of his shoulders.

Lewis lets out a relaxed sigh, letting her work on him. 

She doesn't know how long she sits there with him snuggled into her lap as she kneads the tension from his body. 

After a while, she connects to his speaker and plays music. She has Lewis turn over onto his stomach as she slips from underneath him.

She hums as she sits on his bottom and begins massaging his back. "Your back is bruised."

"I was bouncing around like crazy in that fucking car." He curses.

Clementine bends down, pressing kisses around his back on the purple and red marks adorning his skin. 

Lewis closes his eyes, relishing in the comfort she gives him.

Lewis has noticed it, too, the turn their dynamic has taken. He is aware that he has given slight leeway to the emotional part of their relationship. 

He finds himself thinking about Clem plenty throughout the days. Buys things he thinks she'll like. He's grown accustomed to placing delicate pecks on her lips and face randomly throughout their time together; he can't help it.

Something about her has him wanting her all of the time, not even in th physical way. He just wants her to be with him.

"Can you come out to the race tomorrow?" He rasps.

She sits up, her legs still encaging his body. "Hmm, I don't think your publicity team will like that, people are already speculating about us."

"I don't care." Lewis argues, "It's about time you come to a race, wanna see you immediately not wait to get to the hotel and then see you."

His words make her heart thump harsher, and suddenly, all of the warnings from her publicist dissipate.

"Okay." 

Lewis didn't initiate sex between them that night. He simply turns over with her still on top of him and places his hands on her thighs.

"Come here," he whispers, reaching up to tug her head down to his face.

Their lips lock and it's not rushed or leading to anything. It's like how he kissed her in France. It's just sweet?

She can feel his heart against her chest as she is pressed against him, beating rampantly. "Thank you for showing up for me." He mutters against her lips. She grins against him as she remembers the words she scribbled onto the note she'd given him with her gift.

"Always." she breathes, diving back in to kiss him. One hand travels to her waist, and the other has a soft grip on the back of her neck. 

She feels his member poke against her thigh, and she sits up as much as she can with his hand on her neck, ready to free him from the towel, but the hand he had on her waist stops her actions with a grip on her wrist.

"I just want to lay with you tonight, if that's okay?"

Just when she thought she was safe from her tom-foolish thoughts, she felt her suppressed feelings for Lewis take light again. Don't make it weird, she thinks to herself. "Okay." 

Lewis sits up, his hand returning to her hip; she is sat in his lap, legs folded, and his body pushes her slightly back as he tugs on the comforter. He falls back taking her with him and pulls the thick comforter over her body which lays against his chest.

"What's one thing that surprised you about me?"

Clem traces her fingers on his chest in deep thought, "that you don't do relationships."

"Why that?"

"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."

Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."

Lewis presses a kiss to her hairline, butterflies doing summersaults in his belly. 

-

They wake up the next morning in the same position, with Clem's face nestled in the crook of his neck. Lewis smiles as he reaches over to turn off his alarm.

"Gotta get up, Clem." He soothes, rubbing up and down her back. 

"Mhmm." She moans in denial, cuddling deeper into him. "No."

"Come on, beautiful."

He sits up, forcing her up with him.

She flutters her eyes open and wraps her arms around his neck. 

He chuckles at her defiance, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and standing. He taps her thigh and she gets the message, wrapping them around his waist.

He walks her into the bathroom and sits her down on the bathroom counter. "Sit here, be careful." He orders, unraveling her from his body. He almost gives up and tucks her back into bed as she whines at him.

He leaves the bathroom and returns with a small bag of hers. She slumps against the mirror as she hears him rustling about. When she hears the faucet turn on and then feels his big hands massage circles into her cheeks, she opens her eyes.

There, she sees Lewis standing there with a cheeky smile, his hands lathered in her face soap as he massages the suds onto her face.

"Going to have to get my girl ready myself, huh?" He questions.

She only smirks at him and closes her eyes, letting him work through her skincare routine step by step, laughing as he inquires about every product.

When he finishes, he washes his own face and then passes her toothbrush to her. He stands between her legs as they both brush their teeth. Both of them stare at each other with googly eyes, laughing as foam bubbles from their mouths. When she leans over to spit into the sink, he follows shortly after and then pours a capful of mouthwash for her and them himself. And again, they stare into each other's eyes, giggly and gleaming, as they swish the liquid between their puffy cheeks.

This is where Clementine struggled with the status of their agreement. These weren't the actions of a man who didn't intend to be in a relationship. But she had heard of Lewis and his many flings and "friends" and she knew that he was a very affectionate person so once again she willed away the thought that there was any chnace of Lewis ever straying away from his bachelor lifestyle. 

She pats his shoulder beckoning him to step away, when he does she hops down and releases the last of the contents from her mouth into the sink and stepping aside so Lewis can do the same. 

"I'm going to grab my clothes." She informs.

As she lays her outfit options across the bed, she hears a vibration beneath her shirt, and she leans over the bed, patting until she finds the culprit. When she feels the device, she pulls it from underneath and sees that it's not her phone but Lewis'.

The screen lights up with notifications. 

One catches her eye from, Natalie.

Lewis did feel comfortable enough to disclose his other flings to her, and she nearly shit herself when he associated them all with cities. She remembers the way he laughed when she asked if she needed to get tested. Then she asked if he had referred to her as Clementine, NYC.

Natalie, Silverstone. She recalls.

It wasn't like she was intentionally snooping, but as the screen lit up in her hand again, she couldn't help but read the message as it appeared.

Still on for tomorrow?

At first, she feels a pang in her chest, but then she remembers her place, and she gently sits his phone on the nightstand, allowing the screen to turn off.

"Hey, you okay?" Lewis questioned, poking his head from the bathroom, realizing that she had stopped responding to him. 

She is stood facing the bed with her hands on her hips, scanning her oufits. "Yeah," she smiles though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. 

He eyes her quizically, but when she chuckles at his facial expression, pulls her outfit from the bed, and saunters into the bathroom with him, he relaxes.

Clem is in her head, and she hopes it's not obvious to Lewis.

But she can't help but wonder why he would fly her out just to make plans to sleep with another woman in the span of two days.

She's hurt, and she's jealous, and she knows she shouldn't be, but a part of her wants to slap the shit out of him. 

Instead, she refrains and plays into whatever sick bullshit he was playing with her heart unintentionally.

-

She arrives to the paddock with Lewis and she tries not to grimace as he tells a journalist that he brings friends with him to races all of the time, as they pass by.

He opens the door to the Mercedes motorhome like the proper gentleman he is and directs her into his room.

"I'm just going to change into my suit, and then we can head to the garage, okay?"

She nods and pulls out her phone. Already, she sees that they are trending. 

Lewis steps out of the room and leaves the door open. A few minutes pass before she hears an audible gasp.

When she looks up, she sees a bright-eyed George Russell.

"Hello, Hi! I'm George, I'm a big fan." He enters the compact room, his hand outstretched before him. She stands from Lewis' bed and accepts his hand.

"Hi, George, I'm Clem."

"I know who you are. What are you doing here?" He wonders.

"I'm a friend of Lewis'. I wanted to see you guys race today."

George stutters out a wow, beginning to ramble on before he is interrupted by a throat clearing at the door. There stands Lewis, with a burning look on his face that makes George immediately drop her hand.

"Lewis." He gasps, "How do you literally know everyone, man?"

She smiles, raising her eyebrows behind Lewis as George rambles about her.

Lewis claps his hands against George's shoulder before speaking, "I love you, kid. But we've got to get going."

And then he reached his arm around George and latched onto Clem and pulled her from behind him.

George stammers out a quick bye, and Clem waves sweetly at him as Lewis pulls her from the motorhome and towards the garage.

"He's so sweet," Clem coos, and Lewis only grunts out a "yeah."

"He looks like a literal prince charming." She extends.

Lewis doesn't want to hear her call his teammate any more kinds of cute, so he opts not to respond.

When they finally reach the garage, he is sitting her down beside Toto, who introduces himself with a warm and welcoming smile.

She accepts his hand, gently shaking it, and in return, Lewis gets whisked away.

She enjoys her time in the garage, whilst Lewis talk to his strategist she is sat beside Toto and a few engineers and she feels like she is on a field trip as they explain the many different parts of their setup. Finally Lewis appears at her side again, beckoning her to follow him. She accepts his hand, lifting from her seat and walking hand in hand with him to his car.

"Wow." she gasps as she studies the racing car.

"You want to get in?" Lewis questions. She turns to him with wide eyes, and Lewis can see the excitement in her dark orbs.

"You don't like people in your car." She reminds, peering back down at it.

"I said I don't let just anyone in my car, are you just anyone?" He is staring at her so intensely it has her body on fire.

She felt shy underneath his gaze as he stepped closer to her.

She stands tall, looking up at him through her lashes. He's nearly bumping chests with her as he looms over her.

"There's an entire team in here, Lewis, and cameras." She whispers only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

He doesn't care. He leans down, his mouth near her ear, "Are you just anyone to me, Clementine?"

She swallows nervously as he takes a step back, "No."

"Then get in the fucking car."

Toto watches on from his seat in amazement as Lewis lifts her frame into the car. He then turns and looks into the camera with his eyebrows raised as to show his impressment. 

He put two and two together that she was a personal guest for Lewis. It was obvious since Mercedes had already planned for Tom Cruise and Damson Idris' arrival for the race today.

Lewis leans into the car as he motions to different parts on the inside of the automobile. 

Clem honestly couldn't give two fucks about the car, but she was relishing in how passionate Lewis looked and sounded as he spoke about every aspect of it. She hadn't moved her eyes from his face not once, and Lewis froze as he turned to face her and saw the wanting look adorning her features.

It has him hard instantly.

"Behave." He warns, turning his head to survey their surroundings.

"You're fine as fuck when you're talking cars."

Lewis chuckles, and a blush comes up to cover his cheeks. He lifts his hand, his knuckles skimming along her jaw.

"I want to kiss you, but people will see."

She drops her face against his hand, puckering her bottom lip out at him.

"Aw, too bad." She whispers seductively, and Lewis whispers out a quiet "fuck." as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. His thumb reaches up and drags it back out.

"Gotta be nice to me right now, Clem. Hmm?" He hums, not bothering to remove his thumb from her lip. He smears his finger across, watching as it pops back into place. 

"Help me out of this car." She smirks, lifting her arms, "Before you do something you'll regret, there are cameras around."

"I don't give a fuck about the cameras." He rasps and breaks out into a grin when she bursts into a fit of laughter. He smacks his teeth, standing up straight, preparing to get her out.

"You like fucking with me." He declares.

Lewis helps her from the car, his hands probably lingering on her lower back for far too long once she's back on the ground.

"Lewis." He hears, and when he turns around, he sees Tom and Damson.

He pulls Clem with him, introducing her to the pair. He instantly regrets it when he sees the way Damson eyes her down like she's a refreshing tall glass of water.

 Tom starts up a conversation with Lew about the business they need to handle for his upcoming movie, but his eyes can't leave Clem's frame, and how Damson brings her hand up to his lips. 

He feels like a suicidal maniac when he watches her laugh and smile at whatever he is saying.

He'd met him before, and trust, whatever he was saying couldn't possibly be that funny.

Lewis wants to rip Toto's head off as he directs the two of them into a set of empty seats. He was less than present during the conversation with Tom, and he hoped he hadn't noticed. His arms are folded over his chest, and his foot is tapping the ground anxiously. He tries not to make it obvious when he directs Tom to his spot and takes his in order to keep an eye on Clem.

When the time for the start of the race gets closer he is thankful to see Tom take his place beside Toto. 

He saunters over to the still chatty pair and stands in front of Clem. He waits for her to notice him, and when she doesn't, he clears his throat rather dramatically. 

She stands when she notices him, shooting Damson an apologetic smile that has him ready to drag her off. Which he does.

He pulls her to a corner of the garage and up the stairs into a random office and locks the door. 

"You okay." Clem questions, stepping towards him and placing her hands on his waist. "Lewis." she tries again when he doesn't answer.

He looks stressed and zoned out.

"I- uh yeah." he coughs and suddenly he feels better having her away from Damson. "i'm fine, pre-race jitters." He lies.

Her hands slide up his chest until they settle on the sides of his head.

She tilts his head so that he's staring into her eyes. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"I'm regretting this." He admits and her eyes squint, "bringing you here, I mean."

That does nothing to alleviate her hurt expression, so he continues, "My car is still shit, I don't want you to watch me lose."

She scoffs, gently slapping her hand against his shoulder before returning it to its place caressing his beard. "Would’ve watched you lose at home too, what's the difference. I'm going to support you all the same."

Lewis leans down and presses a short, soft kiss to her plump lips.

Her eyes flutter closed as he stares down at her, and finally, his hands raised to her hips, pulling her into him. "I don't think that I tell you thank you enough for all of the ways you help me, Clem."

"You don't have to," she whispers, dropping her forehead against his chest. He rests his chin on top of her head, putting his arms over her shoulders as hers wraps around his torso.

Lewis likes this. He thinks he can start every race for the rest of his career like this. When he hears a knock on the door, he groans but shoots Clem a warning look as she chuckles at him.

"Big baby." she teases, moving around him to unlock the door. He maneuvers behind her, reaching to open it, and when he does, he sees Toto there with a knowing smirk.

"Time to race, Lewis."

She allows Lewis to pull her from the office hand in hand, and she knows her publicist is probably in New York and stressed running through cigarettes. She always joked that this Lewis rendezvous would result in her smoking her stress away.

Lewis knows something is wrong with him for sure when he realizes that he doesn't care about the camera or who's watching him show Clem his affection. He knows they're going to be the main topic of every tabloid tomorrow, and he just doesn't care.

She stands in front of him beside his car as the crew bustles around them.

When it's time for Lewis to finish his preparation, he motions his head towards Clem, and suddenly, her hands are stuffed with a balaclava and a pair of gloves. 

She turns to the man who handed them to her and he offers her a small smile. 

She turns to Lewis, and he can tell she's trying to fight off the grin that desperately wants to appear.

She reaches for his right hand, tugging the glove onto his hand gently, she checks each finger and pulls to make sure the fit is snug. She repeats her actions on his left hand and then Lewis firmly places his hands on her waist. He's looking at her with those sparkly eyes and a loving smile.

She turns the balaclava in her hands, trying to figure out which way to pull it over his head. When she sees the opening, she lets out an "Aahh" that has Lewis chuckling at her.

She stands on her tiptoes, freeing his braids from the ponytail and pushing them back. She hums to herself as she pulls the balaclava over his head. 

She settles back on her feet, and she can only see his eyes, but it does something to her. 

She reaches between them pulling the upper half of his suit up his body, giggling when he grunts realizing he's got to let go of her to push his arms through the sleeves.

His hands are back on her in an instant, like by not physically touching her he'd fly away.

Clem reaches between them again; this time, her fingers latch onto the zipper, and she tugs it up from his pelvis all the way up his chest until it's set in place. 

"I don't know, Lew. I think we've at least got a podium." She whispers, accepting the helmet.

She steps back, allowing his hands to fall, and then hands him the helmet.

"I can feel it in my bones." 

"Oh," Lewis laughs, "Can feel it in your bones?" He sticks out his free hand, tickling at her.

Clementine laughs, stepping back and gripping his arm, "Stop!" 

He listens, pulling on his helmet and looking back at his car.

"Well, that's me."

Clem feels like a lovesick puppy as she watches his eyelashes flutter with every blink of his eyes.

"Podium." She reminds him, lifting her pinky.

"Podium." He declares, wrapping his own against hers. He lifts their conjoined hands and places them against his helmet where his mouth would be, and she swoons.

"Get in the car, Hamilton."

She's a giddy mess as she steps away from him and finds herself accepting a seat from one of the crew members.

She sighed while watching the screen as Lewis started in P5. He is quickly into P4. She feels her adrenaline kick in as the crew cheers excitedly watching him overtake into third. When he overtakes two other drives all in the same lap the garage erupts in shouts of excitement, just for that to be taken away just as fast when they see a car barrel through off od the track and into the fence.

Clem gasps, her hand coming up to cup her mouth.

She knew Formula One was a dangerous sport, but watching a wreck like that happen in real-time has her mind reeling on just how much danger Lewis puts himself in.

"Is he okay?" She hears as the crew all talk amongst themselves.

"George is out of the race. The other driver is okay." Toto announces, "We're restarting."

Lewis is back in the garage, and he is irritated.

Clem stays back and out of his way as she watches him angrily rant. "That is not right, Toto." He snaps, "back in fifth?"

She watches as Toto nods at him, and Lewis turns to his assistant, rolling his eyes. He looks so frustrated as he throws his hand out, "fucking fifth."

Clem knew that when she was angry that she didn't like to be bothered, so she stayed in her seat. She feels a body plop down beside her, and she turns to see Damson.

"Intense, yeah?" He questions.

"Most definitely." She sighs, "My adrenaline is off the charts right now."

"First time coming to a race?"

She nods, returning the question, "Nah, this is like the NFL to Brits."

She laughs, "Right."

The two chat whilst the rest of the garage is in shambles, and Lewis watches the two with slits in his eyes. 

He knows he shouldn't be jealous. Clem was nothing to him but a friend who he enjoys fucking. It's what he tells himself as Damson passes his phone to her. She was just his friend. He'd even encouraged her to get out there and find her person.

But that was before he realized how differently she made his heartbeat.

Lewis doesn't bother going over to her before the race restarts, he can feel her lingering eyes as he manuevers around the garage, avoiding her.

Lewis feels a bit enraged. Initially, it was just the FIA and their stupid fucking rules, then it was the car, and now it was Clementine and the stupid British actor drooling over each other in his face.

It was all piling on top of him, and he hadn't felt so unsettled ever before a race. 

He hops back into his car, not sparing Clem a glance, and rolls out into P5.

This time the only thing on his mind is how fucking mad he is. 

That anger got him P3. 

He doesn't know why he doesn't approach Clem as she waits for him patiently in her seat. He goes around and thanks the crew and the engineers and has a brief talk with Toto and Tom. And then he leaves to go to the podium, all without even glancing at her.

Clem, always aware, remains silent and tries to keep the pout from taking place on her face.

She tries not to take Lewis' actions personal, it's obvious he's wound up. She doesn't know if it's something she did or if he's still frustrated by the race restart. Logically it's the second, she's learned that not everyone's behaviors have to do with her. It's taken years of her enternalizing other people's moods to realize that 9/10 people are just feeling things. She hasn't done anything, she's sure of it.

She is directed into the motorhome whilst Lewis handles other business and she sits in his room on his bed waiting patiently.

When Lewis had brought up the idea of bringing her to the race yesterday, he raved on and on about how she'd be able to walk the track, wait with his team whilst he's on the podium (if he got one), and get the classic guest experience. She hadn't gotten that, which was a letdown since she really wanted to experience Lewis' world, but she understood why that wasn't possible today after seeing Lewis' mood.

But still, it would have been nice not to sit in his motorhome and then the garage all day, just to end up back in his motorhome alone for hours. 

When Lewis emerges into the tiny room he is clean and dressed in comfortable clothes. He had been on the phone in the office preparing a few arrangements for the past hour. He sighs as he sees her frame sprawled across the tiny bed. 

There are soft puffs of air escaping her, and her phone is clutched loosely in her hand.

He can tell she fell asleep scrolling through her phone.

He sits on the foot of the bed at her feet and drops his head into his hands.

He doesn't know what he's doing. But he does know he can't keep going on like this. Lewis didn't like relationships, he didn't like being tied down, it wasn't fair of him to only want Clem to himself when she would never get all of him. 

"C'mon Clem, let's get you back."

Like the sleepy girl she is, she whines as Lewis pulls her body from the bed, placing her on her feet. 

"Can you walk?" 

She only nods, reaching over to grab her bag and her phone. She doesn't speak to Lewis quite yet, still unsure of his mood. She lets him direct her from the motorhome, his hand tight in hers as he leads her through the paddock. It is so late at night that there are rarely any people hanging around. When they exit and get to his car, the flashes from the cameras wake her up even more, and she uses the back of her hand to block the lights. 

Lewis walks her to the passenger side, waiting for her to slip in before he closes the door gently and goes around to his seat.

He pulls out cautiously and begins their trek to the hotel.

Clem forces herself to stay awake, knowing that it's only a short drive.

Still, she is waiting for Lewis to speak, but he doesn't. 

"I had fun," she announces.

"I'm glad."

"You got podium." She cheers lowly.

Lewis only offers her a small smile, and uncertainty settles in her gut. Something's not right.

She gives up trying to talk to him after that. 

The car is filled with tension and awkward silence. It's so unlike them.

When they pull into the hotel, Clem doesn't wait for the valet to open her door. She clambers out and thanks god as the night breeze fills her lungs. She's never felt so suffocated around Lewis.

As Lewis exchanges formalities with the man she rushes into the hotel and onto the elevator, when she reaches the room she unlocks it with the secondary key taking a moment to gulp down a glass of water.

Lewis follows in behind her shortly after, paying her no mind as he goes to the bathroom and emerges with his shirt and jewelry off.

"You got an attitude?" Lewis questions, standing in the doorframe.

"No, I don't." 

"I know you, Clementine." Lewis rasps, coming to stand over her as she sits on the bed.

"You're the one with the nasty ass attitude." She huffs, reaching up to nudge him away from her. He doesn't budge.

"Lose the attitude, Clem." He orders, and she rolls her eyes. 

"Or what, Lewis?" She pushes.

Lewis' hand is at her neck in a second. His grip is not tight at all, just holding her in place as he ravishes her mouth. Just as frustrated as he is, she returns the kiss.

"Got something for that attitude," Lewis grunts, pushing her onto her back.

She gasps as he roughly pulls at her pants.

He has them off before she knows it, and his hand lets go of her neck and travels down to pull at her panties. He rips them off of her with a hunger in his eyes like no other. 

"Gotta fuck it out of you, Clem?" He asks. 

He doesn't give her time to answer as he sinks down to his knees at the end of the bed and pulls her down with him. He lifts her legs over him and wraps his arms around her thighs. His hands settle on her thighs, keeping them apart, and he stares up at her one last time before connecting his mouth to her clit.

She jumps, but his hands hold her in place.

He removes his lips from her bundle of nerves, his tongue traveling down to swipe through her crease. She moans lightly as she fists at the sheets. His fingers travel up to replace his mouth, and he digs them deep into her core, his tongue flicking against her clit before he presses it flat and moves up and down.

Clem gasps as he curls his fingers inside her and suckles extra hard on her. Her hand shoots down to push him away, but he catches her wrist in his free hand, holding it against the mattress. 

He stares up at Clem, the whole scene naughty and erotic. He lets her other hand come down to rest in his hair. 

Lewis moans into her, his mouth sending a wave of vibrations through her body. Lewis never took his eyes off of her, watching as she writhed above him. He was showing her no mercy as the gushy sounds filled the room. 

She tasted so good.

Lewis worked his tongue around her clit, teasing her only for a minute before he smushed his mouth over it again and suckled just the right amount, his fingers still thrust in and out of her, driving her absolutely insane. He moans into her pussy and trails his mouth down to swallow where she is oozing. 

Lewis lets her captivating moans egg him on as he devours her like a starved man. He can feel it when she comes when her tight, spongy pussy constricts around his fingers. He happily licks up the juices she releases as she comes undone. 

He pulls his fingers from her core and stands, quickly turning her body over. She lands on her stomach with a slight "oomph" noise and turns to look back at Lewis.

He wastes no time hammering into her from behind. He grabs her arms pulling them behind her back and crossing her wrists; with one hand, he holds them against her back, and with the other, he swats at her ass. Groaning as he watches it ripple.

"Fuck."

Clem can do nothing but pant underneath him and let out pathetic mewls as his hand repeatedly strikes her ass. It hurts so good.

Lewis keeps pounding into her hard, his heart racing as he chases his own orgasm. He sees her phone light up beside him, and a message from Damson appears. 

When he sees this, he speeds up his thrusts, gliding his thick member in and out of her suffocating walls. 

She can only blubber out useless moans as he plummets in and out of her.

He lets go of her wrist, pulling her up onto all fours. 

"You get a thrill out of pissing me off?" He grunts, his hand going up to grip her hair.

"No!" she whines, gripping the covers.

"I think you do." 

His other hand is gripping her waist, pulling her back to him every time she falls forward.

"Nuh-unh." He orders from behind her, letting go of her hair and holding on to her waist tightly with both hands now.

"Don't run from it, baby. You wanted this, huh? This what you want?"

Clem rasps out a choked yes, her head falling at the intense pleasure running through her veins.

Lewis sounds like a beast behind her, all strangled up and growling out praises at her. 

He feels so possessive as his hand lifts and smacks at her ass again. "Fucking, mine." He growls, and Clem falls forward. He doesn't stop as her legs give in, and she drops to the bed again. He climbs behind her, still keeping his pace, and throws his head back as she quivers around him like a candle on fire. 

He can feel the heat building in his core, and it eggs him on as he places his hands on her ass, holding her in place.

Clementine spasms beneath him, never experiencing an orgasm like this before. Her heart feels like it's beating outside of her chest as her ears ring and her eyes roll to the back of her head. She can only curse over and over as she feels Lewis drag out of her and return again with much more force. 

This was the best sex she'd ever gotten in her life.

Her walls clenched around him, her breath hitching as he moved aimlessly in and out of her.

Lewis shuddered at the feeling, sucking in a sharp breath at the sensation. She is face down, panting into the mattress as he pants above her.

She can't count how many times she has come undone underneath him, but as she feels another orgasm approaching, she can't help the way her thighs tremble underneath Lewis. 

Lewis is an incoherent, mumbling and moaning mess above her as he allows himself to succumb to her squeezing cunt, clamping over him. Lewis falls into the abyss, pleasure washing over both of them as he spills into her.

He pulls out with a hiss, shuddering at his sensitivity, and falls over beside Clementine, who rolls onto her back.

"Woah." she pants.

Lewis feels her phone vibrate and he watches as she scambled down the bed to get it, he feels green as he watches her smile at the screen.

Just as she moves to lie beside him again, he speaks up with words that make her feel dismayed.

"I booked you a room."

He turns away from her, staring at the ceiling.

"I- What?" She stutters, turning to face him.  

"It's just a floor below, suite 909."

Clem is distraught, and it shows on her face as she jumps away from the bed as if Lewis has burned her. "Lewis, what-"

Her words are cut off as her phone vibrates in her hand. Lewis chuckles dryly, finally tilting his head to face her. Suddenly Clem feels like a little girl again, wondering why her parents never made an effort in her life, wondering why it was so easy for them to push her aside like they didn't care that she existed.

"What's the matter? Are we okay?" She rambles.

Stop talking, Lewis. He thinks to himself as he watches Clem's eyes flash with wetness. Even sad, she has doe eyes, still shining, but this time, there are tears in her eyes and an intense sadness. 

"Yeah," he should’ve stopped there, but he kept going. "I'll probably see you tomorrow. If not, it'll be the next time I need you." He motions to the bed.

Clem frowns, letting out an exhale as she bends down to tug on her pants. As she maneuvers around the room collecting her suitcase, Lewis calls out to her. "I put the room key beside your toiletry bag."

She slips into the bathroom, picking up her small bag, and sure enough, the keycard is there. She grasps it in her hand and walks out. She wants to scream at him, tell him how big of a dick he's being, but she's not that kind of person.

She is graceful. But it's taking everything in her to channel the lessons her grandpa has taught her when she is this mad, this hurt. 

Clem avoids looking at Lewis as she latches onto her suitcase. 

 "Maybe you should start considering finding someone who's serious, Clementine."

Is this what this is about? She knew the blurred lines would come back to bite her in the ass eventually.

She freezes, her back turned to him as her hand pauses on the door handle. And her body shakes slightly as a her frown deepens, she feels a stream of tears flow down her cheeks.

And just when Lewis thinks that Clem is going to turn around and argue with him, probably throw something at him and shout at him, she doesn't.

She lifts one hand, swiping at her face, and then softly opens the door and leaves without so much as looking back at him. The door clicks shut behind her, and she walks on down the hallway towards the elevator. 

The words don't react, echoing over and over in her head, but as she hears the wheel rolling on her suitcase, she can't help but feel the trembling in her body. She presses her lips together, stepping onto the elevator, and as the doors close, she lets out a gutwrenching sob. 

She sniffles as she steps into the suite. Rushing to the bathroom to shed her clothes, she showers wiping all traces of Lewis Hamilton from her body the way she wishes she can erase him from her mind. She scrubs harshly, eyes still full with tears, between the scorchingly hot water, steam and the tears she can barely see anything as she scrubs severely.

For the first time since agreeing to this arrangement, she feels used by Lewis. She's never felt so dirty in her life. As she sank down to her knees, feeling the wails rip through her body with force, she realized why exactly his words and actions hurt her so much. 

It didn't matter how much she showed up for him or how much she allows herself to be his shrink and him hers, it'd always be a bad religion, loving someone who'd never love you back.

Lewis is in the same position he has been in since she left, flat on his back with his hands covering his face. His body is quivering as sobs rack through his body.

It was a tough decision, but it was one that had to be made. He could never give Clem what she deserved; he wasn't a committed person. Seven years on and off with the same person is proof of that. He could never be okay with putting her through that.

-

Lewis wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and lingering loneliness. 

He always felt like this when he woke up without Clem in his arms. As he sits up and swipes his hands over his face, his heart aches when he notices her ripped panties thrown on the floor.

He regrets his actions. 

He wishes he would've sat her down nicely and explained how things were getting too deep for him. It's Clem, she would've understood. 

He realizes just how bad he fucked up when her giddiness to lay beside him last night flickers through his mind like a clip from a movie.

"What if we lay in bed after every meetup and we just talk?"

He feels like he's been shot when her hurt face replays over and over. He treated her like shit last night, all because he was scared of what she made him feel. 

He was a mess during yesterday's race; all he could think about down every straight and around every curve was how much he liked Clem, how good she made him feel, and bad she could make him feel just as easily.

He realized that the woman had too much control over his heart yesterday, and he couldn't take that. This was supposed to be fun, casual fun. He never inteded to catch feeling for Clementine Russell, but she was the kind of girl who made you drop to her feet.

He never stood a chance against her charm.

He scrambled from the king-sized bed, rushing to his phone.

-

When he hears a knock on his door, he opens it in a rush; he sees the butler there and offers him a finger to signal to hold on. He rushes to his table, picking up the bouquet of flowers, an array of red, yellow, and orange orchids, dahlias, and marigolds. 

"Can you take these down to suite 909?" Lewis pants pushing the boquet towards the man, there is a note nestled between the pedals.

The man tilts his head, pushing the flowers back towards Lewis.

"I am sorry, Sir Hamilton, Ms Russell has checked out already in the early hours of Midnight."

Lewis feels his heart crumble as he steps away from the man, the giant bouquet firm in his hold.

Lewis says nothing as he closes the door and walks away. 

-

Clem had left that night, not long after leaving Lewis' room. After her shower, she was on the first flight home, and she hadn't spoken to Lewis since. 

Lewis misses Clementine. It's a realization that he came to rather quickly but refused to admit.

Lewis pulls himself out of the leggy woman he picked up at the end of his race. She drops down beside him in heavy pants. 

"That was fun." She exhales.

He doesn't know why when he turns his head, he expects to see Clem staring back at him with her dark eyes and cute smile. 

This woman is no Clementine, and that's for sure. 

He doesn't know why he tries it, but he does. "You can go anywhere in the world under one condition. You'd have to stay there forever; everything is unchanged, and nothing new will ever come. Where do you choose?"

He watches as her eyes scrunch momentarily in confusion.

"I don't know. It's probably Paris. I'm obsessed with their lifestyle, honestly."

Lewis turns his head back to the ceiling.

He wants her to leave. And he wants Clementine to be in her place.

It's quiet and awkward, and she doesn't even try to ask him. 

He already knows his answer. He'd be with Clem in his bed, hands connected as they lie naked underneath his covers, heads turned to each other as they talk. He'd watch on as the moonlight supersedes the darkness and the moonbeams are replaced with sun rays. And he'd listen to her feel things like she made him. And he'd be happy and content with spending eternity like that.

Everything unchanged, nothing new.

Lewis begins to think that maybe casual sex isn't for him anymore. Perhaps he's taking Clem's absence extra hard because he yearned for the other form of intimacy, the emotional aspect of being with a woman.

So he tries dating. 

And he comes to the same conclusion, date after date.

Their eyes don't gleam like hers.

They don't understand his humor.

They don't care about why losing his favorite toy as a kid was an integral part of the man he became.

They can't carry on discussions like Clem or even talk like Clem.

They don't have her precious smile and her deep dimples. They're not gracious and benevolent.

They aren't Clem, no one ever will be.

Lewis craves Clem; he misses her with every fiber of his being.

And he regrets letting her up from his bed. He regrets telling her to pursue another man. 

When Lewis returns to New York, his thumb lingers over the send button.

clemmy 🪂

I need to see you, where are you?

He doesn't send the message; he drops his phone with a sigh, knuckling at his eyes. Why was it so fucking hard? He'd never felt this troubled in his life, especially over a woman he'd never even dated.

He sighs in distress, picks up his phone, stares at the message begging to be sent, and clicks off of the app. Instead, he opens his Instagram. As he goes to search for Clem's name, he sees that she is still his top search, and he feels like a loser as he enters her profile.

He'd take any sight of her he could get.

-

Clementine wouldn't say she was necessarily religious. Her grandpa would probably drop dead of a heart attack if he heard that. But it was the truth. She thought it was fairytale-like sometimes. Yes, she had faith, but she wasn't as devout as many people. 

If she was being honest, she thought religion began as something beautiful, putting your complete trust and faith into another person, with the idea that they were quite literally the holy grail. Over time, it's been skewed and manipulated, some for great purposes and others for very wrong reasons. 

She thought most religious people were hypocrites. Lewis was a hypocrite for sure, giving her an inch and then taking a mile. Now that she has had time to ponder over it, Lewis Hamilton is actually a sick man. Pouring affection into her and poisoning her heart. 

How did he expect her not to fall for him when he treated her the way he did? She feels like a fool herself, too, thinking back to the conversation she had with him the night before it all went to shit. 

"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."

Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."

Lewis was a hypocrite, and she was too. 

But the truth is religion gave people purpose. She'd never felt it firmly in a spiritual sense, but she had experienced that strong urge to follow someone's every command. She's believed every word that tumbles from his mouth. Given the opportunity, she would surely drop to her knees at his feet. She's only ever felt the need to praise and put her limited faith and her secured trust into one person. Sure, she had faith, just in a bad religion. She admired one man, Lewis Hamilton, but there was one problem, she could never make him love her the way she loved him.

Clem took his advice. She branched off, presented herself in new ways, made new friends, developed herself, and found someone who would take her seriously, though that didn't last long at all. 

clementine

liked by feliciathegoat, pharrell, and 12,898,465 others

clementine so, they've helped me make an album? Clementine, NYC out now on all streaming platforms !! 

view all comments

feliciathegoat Cool kids doing cool shit 🏌🏿

clementine the coolest 😎

lilyachty ALBUM OF THE FUCKING YEAR

clementine 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

user no bc who did my girl like that

clementine no really, it's okay though builds character 😃

user builds character my ass, go beat his ass

user A MOVIE AND MUSIC IN THE SAME YEAR ASVJHKHK WHEN DO WE GET SEASON 2???

clementine yk im filming girl 🙄

clementine

liked by danielricciardo, justinbieber, and 10,898,465 others

clementine two post in one day bc why not, what's everyone's favorite song from Clementine, NYC?!?

danielricciardo In your hands slaps

clementine you sir, have great taste 😘

user daniel what are you doing here 😭

user No really, weird ass crossover episode

user the blue hair to match the album cover the movie * chefs kiss*, your creativity is unmatched queen

clementine you noticing the small details >>>

justinbieber posting us arguing over the order is killing me

clementine no bc we both look so over it 😂

user I love her and Tyler's friendship sm

feliciathegoat i love my bestie

clementine and I love u T 🥹

-

Lewis instantly throws in his airpods and starts the album, one by one he listens to each song. Sure enough every song has small anecdotes about their time together that only he'd know.

He was aware that he was blurring the lines between just benefits and true feelings, but he didn't know that he wasn't the only one feeling strongly about it. He never took her feelings into account.

Just when he thought he couldn't feel any worse about the situation, that realization dawned on him. Clementine Russell loved him and he threw her to the curb like a bag of trash. 

He's throwing on whatever clothes he sees first as he rushes from his door. 

He doesn't bother calling his driver as he treks block after block; he has one destination in mind, Clem's townhome. 

He's there before he knows it, his fist urgently banging against her door. 

He sees a light flicker on through the window, and then her door swings open.

She's in her nightshirt with her hair wrapped in a scarf, and her eyes are puffy from sleep. When she sees Lewis, she begins to swing the door back closed, but his hand pushes against it.

"No, Lewis." She snarls, swinging the door open again. She is looking at him like he's the devil himself. "I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to think of you."

"Clem, please." He begs, "Please, I can't take it."

She pauses at the door, taking her time to study the man in front of her. He looks bad, simply put.

His eyes are bloodshot and droopy with bags, his braids are disheveled and clearly in need of a touch-up, and he just looks all around miserable.

She almost gives in until she thinks back to the last eight months where she had been miserable herself. She smacks her teeth swinging the door closed until she hears Lewis shout out three words that take her back to when the roads got foggy, Cannes. When she realized the difference in how she actually felt for Lewis.

"I love you."

She peels the door back open and stares at him intensely. "What did you say?"

He looks like he's watched his whole world get taken away from him as he repeats himself, "I love you. Don't shut the door, please."

"It's not fair, Lewis." She fumes.

"I know." He whispers, and his voice cracks.

"You don't get to do this to me." Clem snapped. "You can't just make me feel things for you and then push me away. You can't make me love you and then hurt me and tell me you love me when it's too late."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry, isn't enough." She hissed angrily, approaching him and poking his chest. 

He reaches up and grabs her hand, holding it close to his chest. She feels him shudder underneath her touch, and his body begins to shake.

"Clem, I'm sorry." his voice is hoarse and thick as he peers down at her, and she cracks when she feels a teardrop against their connected hands. "I'm sorry."

Her forehead drops against his chest, and he wraps his arms around her. "You didn't deserve that; I should have just told you; I was scared; you broke all of my walls, Clem; I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt you in the end."

"But you did, " she cries.

"I know, I did; I was scared of commitment, was scared I would ruin us further down the line." He presses a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm not scared of commitment, Clem, not anymore. I just don't want to be committed if it's not to you."

"You don't mean that." Clem breathes. 

"I promise I do, Clem."

She steps back from him, letting his arms fall to his side. "You made me feel dirty."

He opens his mouth, and she puts up her hand, "Let me talk. I let you disrespect me, Lewis. I should be done with you. I should be over you. I don't care how much I feel for you; if you ever, and I mean ever, speak to me that way or treat me like I'm nothing ever again, all gracefulness is out of the fucking window."

"I understand." He breathes, "I will never, Clem, and I mean never treat you like that again."

It's ironic, the two of them standing infront of each other as the sky illuminates in yellow and orange hues. 

"It's six in the morning." Clem sighs.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I wasn't supposed to be here today; you almost missed me," Clem informs.

"I would've found you. Lost you once already. I didn't know how much I cherished what we had until I no longer had it. Until I lost it. I don't want to lose you forever, too."

"It's almost spring," Clem announces. 

"Gonna take you to that mountain, Clem." He promises, pulling her into his arms again.

"I've missed you so much. There were so many things I wanted to talk to you about. I missed talking to you." She admits and Lewis holds her tighter.

"I missed listening to you. Swear I did." 

"Are we still friends?"

"No, we're more than that. We should’ve never been friends. Always meant to be more." 

"I wrote an album about you." She sighs.

She feels Lewis hum against her. "It's beautiful."

"I talked so much shit about you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for feeling Clem, I was a shit person to you." 

"My hair is blue." She announces, and he chuckles; there she was, his Clem talking his head off.

"Starting over, right?"

"Yeah, starting over."

Although they weren't laying in bed on their backs hands connected and staring through the ceiling like it was their sky. Things felt familiar to the two as the sun rose and light beamed around them.

Lewis was her sunset, the beauty that comes after a hard and blaring day. To him, she was the sunrise. After the darkness, it will always be light again. She was his light source, and he knew that now. He could never lose something that's always shining. 

"Thank you for showing up for me."

Not proofread

the album:

bad religion - frank ocean

in your hands - halle

i think- tyler, the creator

saturn- sza

broken is the man- jorja smith

everything is gonna be alright- infinity song

everything- kehlani

mine- beyonce ft drake

poison- beyonce

are we still friends- tyler, the creator

eternal sunshine- jhene aiko

<3

[missnxthingg]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Actress!Reader (Enemies to Lovers & Fake Dating AU) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando Norris really messed up on the first time meeting one of Hollywood’s newest and hottest stars, Y/N L/N. But when his reputation gets too bad, she might be the only one who can save his career from being completely doomed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.6K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - Swearing, mentions of sex, angst 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - Very very sorry for the delay! Life was a mess and I needed to get things in order. It's coming to an end 🥺 last one will be the last chapter, but let's enjoy while it lasts. Also, this one is for all of us Lando girlies who love to see him succeed in Interlagos!

series masterlist | main masterlist | main blog | taglist

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐈 ��𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

The morning after the fight was a rollercoaster of emotions for Y/N. She woke up feeling cold, the covers kicked to the bottom of the bed, and no one lying next to her. By now, waking up next to Lando felt familiar and too comfortable for her liking. She had grown fond of having him pressed against her every morning, his arms draped around her waist and his nose buried in her neck. It felt weird to not have him next to her when she opened her eyes. And then she remembered why he wasn’t there.

She really wished she could go back to sleep and pretend the previous night hadn’t happened.

Y/N wrapped herself around the covers once again and groaned, feeling almost like a truck ran over her body the previous night. She could blame it on the only margarita she had the night before, but she knew she could only blame the fight she had with Lando. The memories of them confessing their feelings for each other was almost too painful. It was killing them; and maybe it was for the best to call off their “relationship”, if they could even call it that.

As most days in November in Brazil, it was bright and sunny outside, but Y/N was convinced it was for the best if she stayed in for the entire day. Maybe she could catch up on her watching list on Netflix, order junk food and cry her heart out while no one was watching. After all, she was only required to go outside tomorrow, when her PR team asked her to accompany Lando to the paddock during media day.

She managed to not cry just fine so far that morning, but the universe was making it really hard to keep it together. If the emotions weren’t enough, Y/N found out that day that she was nominated for an Emmy Award. It was all over social media, with everyone congratulating her and posting clips of her performance on her latest show. Her phone was blowing up with calls and texts, but she didn’t have the energy to celebrate it.

Suddenly, it all felt too lonely. Y/N had just acquired the biggest conquest of her career, one that she has dreamed of her entire life, and she had no one to celebrate it with. The person she wanted to celebrate with the most was nowhere to be seen. So she cried alone in that hotel room, because there was nothing more she could do. She should’ve been out there celebrating that conquest, but she was weeping for the loss of Lando Norris, of all people in the world.

He wasn’t having the best days himself. After she left, Lando couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep even if he wanted to. He could only think about Y/N leaving their room crying after saying she didn’t trust him; after telling it all went wrong because he could only think about himself. All the work he did to try getting to her heart gone to waste, only because he forgot to apologize. 

After a couple of hours after finally getting some sleep, Lando was woken up by knocks on his door. Max had come for him after he didn’t answer his phone for the entire morning. His best friend understood what happened almost immediately when he opened the door, his eyes blood shot from crying too much. Lando sighed before crying more, feeling completely powerless with the situation he was trapped in.

“I fucked up”, Lando admitted, completely defeated. “And fuck, I love her so much. But she’s gone”.

Max tried to cheer him up, attempting to get the pieces back together before he was required to be on track, talking to countless journalists about his job. Lando didn’t want to talk about anything with anyone at that moment, only to Y/N if he could. In the end, with all the suffering he was going through, she was the only person he wanted to talk with to make it better.

“It’s not her fault. It’s my fault. All me. I’m always the problem”, he thought, all day. Everybody knows that Lando can get himself down a self depreciation hole, but now he actually knows it was all entirely his fault. So it was a little harder to get him out of there.

He heard of her Emmy nomination later that day, while they were waiting for breakfast at a bakery. Lando felt a boast of energy in his body, feeling so proud of his girl’s achievement. But when he remembered she didn’t want him there to celebrate it with her, he felt sad once again. He had to retreat back to his hotel room, because it was too painful to pretend nothing had happened while he was outside. People were starting to recognize him, and they could all see the sadness painted all over his face. He couldn’t do it anymore.

The first time Y/N and Lando met again after the fight was on the Thursday morning, as they were waiting for a car to pick them up at the hotel to drive them to the track. He felt uneasy to be around her, not getting to exchange a single world to her. She had grown into his best friend over the past couple of months, him always wanting to share everything with her all the time. So when she avoided his eyes like the plague, it hurt him too much.

Still, he wasn’t one to give up so easily. Lando approached her as she was distracted and said what he was dying to say the entire day. “Congratulations on your Emmy nomination. I’m very proud of you”, he kept his voice low, almost as if he was afraid to say those words. Y/N was looking away from him, but her eyes met his once she heard the words. It was as if she was trying to figure out if it was a figure of her imagination or if he was really saying it to her.

He finally got to see how bad she was as well. Lando knew her like the palm of his hand by then, so he could see that she was suffering too. But he saw a little bit of the light come back to her eyes with his words. But as much as she wanted to throw her arms around him and give him the tightest hug, she knew she had to be tough. So she toughened up and gave him the coldest response. 

“Thank you”, she nodded, looking the other way the second after. If Y/N stared into his eyes for too long, she would give into him. Only a few words from him were enough to ignite the fire on her heart once again.

“I would like to talk to you eventually”, he said, still facing only the side of her face. Lando watched her close her eyes and hold her breath. She was trying to not cry again. “If you want to, of course”.

“Not now, Norris”, she walked away without even looking him in the face.

It was hard to pretend everything was fine as they walked together in Interlagos, especially with the whole media surrounding them and ready to fire questions if they noticed something wrong. Luckily, since there was no racing happening, Y/N got to stay buried inside the McLaren motorhome until it was time to go back to the hotel once again.

Everybody noticed something was wrong, especially with the look on Lando’s face. His mood was so down that even Zak Brown noticed it. And judging by how Y/N hid herself in the McLaren hospitality until the whole thing was over, he put two and two together. He tried talking to Norris, but Lando kept assuring everything was fine. No one in the team, specially those who knew the relationship was fake, knew what was going on. How did the lovey-dovey couple go from posting cute pictures on social media to no talking in a couple of days?

Impressively enough, the whole thing that happened between Lando and Y/N didn’t affect his performance at all. He secured P2 in sprint qualifying and maintained the position on the sprint race. And if that wasn’t enough, he got pole position for the main race on Sunday. Yet, he couldn’t feel happy about it enough. None of that seemed to matter, because he couldn’t feel joy at all without Y/N.

He could’ve finished in any position – he could’ve won, for that matter – and he would still feel nothing. It hurt too much to receive nothing but an empty “congratulations” and a lifeless hug, just for the cameras to capture. Lando wanted to punch a wall, and he wanted to punch himself for what he did.

Later that day, when he was back at his hotel room with Max, Lando couldn’t control his crying anymore. He had been excellent at not bursting into tears through the past few days, but it was getting too hard to bottle in the feelings, especially when Y/N’s hands felt cold on his as they walked with fingers laced in public. His best friend had to hug him in order to hold him up and not crumble to the floor.

“Come on, mate. You need to stop crying and go get some rest for tomorrow”, Max pleaded, now having Lando sit down in his bed. “I know this whole thing is hard, but I can’t stand to see you this sad when you should be celebrating the perfect weekend you’re having”.

“I think I lost the love of my life, Max. So of course I’m crying”, Lando wiped off his tears, but they kept streaming from his eyes. “I can’t feel happy without her. She’s everything to me, and knowing I fucked her up makes me feel so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid to not apologize to her.  I did everything, but forgot the most important part of it all”.

“Have you tried apologizing again?”, Max asked and Lando nodded.

“I said I wanted to talk to her whenever she was up to talking, but she ignored me”, Lando sighed, throwing his back against the bed. “I would do anything to go back in time and fix this”.

“You don’t need to go back in time to fix this”, Max said. “Look, mate, she has admitted having feelings for you, right? So find the right words, put your pride aside and get her back”.

“You don’t know her. She is as hard-headed as I am. No simple apologize will make her forget the dickhead that I am”, Lando said. “And maybe I really don’t deserve her. She needs someone who has never treated her less than the amazing person that she is”.

“Lan…”, Max tried talking again, but his friend needed to vent more than hearing more advices.

“I would do anything to see her happy again, you know? It’s even worse to know she’s suffering too, because I can never get out of my head that it’s my fault. And I could make her so happy if she gave me another chance. I just know it”.

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to be hearing those words. Talk to her, tell her everything bottle inside you. This time, remember what I said: find the right words. And if it doesn’t work out, well… you already have nothing. You have to at least try”.

Lando went to sleep that night with Max’s words in his head. Months ago, he vowed he would do anything to make Y/N trust him, and he’s yet to try everything in his sleeves. There’s still one more chance, and he would take all the chances he had to have Y/N back.

When Sunday morning came around, Y/N felt almost hungover with the exhaustion from that week. She dragged herself out of bed for the fifth time that week and put on a sundress to enjoy the nice and warm weather outside. Then after breakfast, she waited at the meeting place in the hotel to get to the paddock, ready to put on her best acting and pretend everything was alright. Today would be crucial, because all the eyes would be on her and Lando through the main event of the weekend.

Through the night, before he fell asleep, Lando thought of a thousand ways to get Y/N to talk to him. And if she was finally going to listen to him, he knew what to say. But all his plans were lost when he saw her standing at the hotel lobby, waiting for the car to take them to the track. He thought of a lot of ways to approach her, but he simply rushed into her encounter. And as if their eyes were magnets, she turned to look at him just a few seconds before the collision. Before she could protest, Lando had her engulfed by his body.

She was taken by surprise with the action, but she was even more surprised to how her body reacted to it. Y/N immediately melted into his touch and let her arms around his shoulder, feeling her chest burning into flames and feeling easy to have him so close. She buried her face in his neck and let all the tears she was holding in for days finally fall in relief.

“I’m so sorry about everything”, he whispered in her ear, holding her a little tighter. “I have so much to apologize to you and the right words to say everything, but so little time right now. I don’t want to go one more second without talking to you, because it's been too much for me. I miss you, Y/N”.

“Lando”, she leaned back and looked between his eyes. Y/N could see how this entire thing has impacted him as well, and it hurt to see him hurt too. So she softly ran one of her thumbs though his cheek and smiled, tired of fighting.

“Y/N”, he encouraged, still too nervous with her response. But he felt a little better to see the smile on her lips once again.

 “Go in that car and win this race. For me”, she held his face between her hands and squeezed it carefully, assuring him that they were okay, at least for now. Lando was so happy that he pulled her back to the hug.

“For you, anything”, he kissed her forehead, knowing a proper kiss would be too far. “I promise that after the race, I have so much to talk to you about”.

“Don’t worry about it now, okay?”, she searched for his hands and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll talk later”.

Lando couldn’t let go off Y/N after that. They still were very quiet around each other, but it was a relief to have her hands laced with his all the time. Even better to have his arms wrapped around her as they cuddled in his driver’s room during his break. And you can bet he felt amazing when she pressed a kiss to his cheek before helping put on his balaclava.

“Good luck, Lan”, she whispered in his ear as he pulled him for a hug. “I trust you”.

And with the words he has been waiting for months to hear, Lando went into his car with the boost of confidence he needed. So far, he hadn’t won a race in Formula 1, but he had been so close for a lot of weekends. Always P2, never the winner. But now he had the confidence who could make him pass anyone in front of him. He was going to win for Y/N, just because she asked him to. So when he crossed the chequered flag before any other driver, he felt his entire life flash right in front of his eyes. Every sweat and tears dropped for this moment, who had been a long time coming. All these years had finally paid off.

Once he parked the car, everything moved in slow motion for him. The mechanics pulling him in for a hug, and all the other drivers who came to congratulate him as well. It could be a scene taken out of a film, quite easily. And when Lando saw Y/N standing right next to Zak Brown behind the barricade, he could feel his heart at his mouth. She was drowning in proud tears, applauding him with all of her strength. So he didn’t care about anyone else who was calling his name; he simply approached her and gave her the biggest kiss they ever shared. 

It’s been only a couple of days since he had last kissed them, but Lando missed her lips as if it had been a year since he last did it. And with that, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, knowing everything was finally alright. His reputation was saved, he had a race win, and he had his favourite girl right there with him. It couldn’t get better than that.

Lando chased her lips once she tried to break off the kiss, not wanting to let go off her yet. But she managed to separate them between giggles. “My P1. I’m so proud of you, Lan, congratulations!”

“I love you”, he mumbled against her lips. “I love you so fucking much”.

Y/N didn’t say it back right at that moment, because there’s still a lot that needed to be said between them before those three words. But she kissed him again, and it said it all. She didn't have to say she loves him because Lando knew it. Looking into her eyes, tasting her on his lips, he knew she felt the same. So he didn’t care about getting no response, because he knew it all in his heart.

“I’ll be back in the blink of an eye. I promise you”, Lando pressed another quick peck to her lips before proceeding with everything he’s required to after the race.

Lando stood on the tallest step of the podium and raised his trophy as high as he could. He splashed his champagne bottle to make a mess on everyone, spotting Y/N on the ground and spraying the liquid far enough to reach her downstairs. He was glowing, and anyone could see that. It showed through the pictures, the interviews, the small talks with people from his team. McLaren made sure the debrief was short so they could all go celebrating the moment that has been a long time coming.

He was ready to party, but there was one more thing left to do.

“You stink of champagne”, Y/N was giggling between his arms. He was spinning her around as they walked into his hotel room, finally having some time along after the race. Nothing could kill the big smile he had stamped on his face.

“Smell it. It’s Chanel”, he joked, pulling Y/N for another kiss. Lando had her pressed against the door once it was close, and it felt too good to have his breath taken away once again by her kisses. He wanted to touch her everywhere just to know she was really there, but once his hands darted under her dress, she stopped him there.

“Not now, Lan. We still have a lot to talk before all of this”, she broke off the kiss, and he agreed with a nod. Suddenly, he was nervous once again, knowing the talk they needed to have had the potential to fix or fuck everything. “Hey, where’s that big smile you were giving me before? I miss it”.

“It is terrified of losing you”, he admitted, making Y/N’s eyes soften for him. She rubbed her thumbs on his cheeks and pouted, making him open a small grin once again. “But you’re right, we need to talk”.

“We don’t need to do this right now, Lando”, she said as he pulled her to sit in bed. He cut her before she said anything else.

“But I want to”, he said, pulling her hands to entwine with his. “Listen, I don’t think any amount of words can fix what I did to you in the past, but I'm very, very sorry. For every bad thing I said about you and every time I mistreated you. Y/N, you never deserved to hear those words from anyone, and I'm sorry I took too long to realize that”.

Y/N nodded and waited quietly while listening to what he had to say. But she could tell that he was nervous, so she encouraged him by rubbing her thumbs on the back of his hand. Lando looked down and smiled at the gesture. It showed how much she cared about him, even though he keeps fucking her up.

“You jumped into this crazy idea just to help me in the blink of an eye, and I never showed you gratitude. Even when I didn’t deserve, you were kind, and you took care of me. And I kept breaking your heart over and over again”, he admitted. “And I regret all of that. I'm so sorry, and I promise you, I'll change”.

“You already have changed”, she ran her fingers through his curls and looked between his eyes. “I know you have, Lando, or else I wouldn't have opened up to you. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was really happening. So I tried to shield myself as much as I could from falling in love with you”.

Lando nodded, a little sad to know that he hurt this relationship so much that she tried not to feel anything for him. But it was nice knowing she felt the same all along, even though they needed some healing.

“And I know you're not the idiot you used to be with me. I understand that you changed and, for you, I would do anything. I would do it all again if I had too”.

“I'm sorry for being so selfish. I was so busy thinking about myself that I forgot how much I had hurt you in the past. I forgot to apologize, and I thought that giving you flowers and kisses would be enough to mend a broken relationship from the start. I was willing to do anything to make you trust me that I forgot the most important part of it all”.

“You understand my point, right?”, she asked, and he agreed with his head. “You showed me that you’re someone worthy of loving, but I just couldn’t trust you at all, because you never showed regret. But now, looking you in the eye, I know that you truly are sorry”.

“I regret every bad word I ever said about you”, he assured. “I think I made my point very clear, but I want to assure you that this thing we have, with sex and the ‘enemies with benefits’, was never just that for me. I would always have that tingle in my heart whenever I was intimate with you and with all the little nice interactions we had, my ice heart started melting for you”.

“Trust me, I know the feeling”, she assured him between giggles. “I also have to apologize to you. The insults weren’t one-sided. And I know you might think it’s all your fault now, but we both know I was a bitch to you as well. So to start in the right place, I have to say, I’m sorry too”.

“Well… I deserved it”, he shrugged, hanging his head down, but Y/N softly brought it up by taking it between her hands.

“No, you didn’t, Lando. You filled me with compliments, and now it’s your turn to take them”, she said. “You also have the kindest heart in the world. You take care of people, and you’re always the energy in the room. You’ve taken care of me on times I needed, and you brought light into my days. You taught me the purest form of love. You make me laugh, and you make me feel like a princess whenever I feel like I'm a monster. You're a good person, Lando. So if anyone is a bitch to you, they better apologize”.

“I used to be so scare of love, but you make it so easy”, Lando looked at her with adoration in his eyes, feeling so great to have his face between her hands. “I love you so much”.

She smiled at him, knowing for sure that now it was safe to say it back. With her eyes filled with tears, she admitted: “I love you so much too, Norris”. 

Y/N pulled him for a sweet kiss, finally pouring all the feelings she had for him into her actions. And he savoured every single second of finally having his dream girl all to myself. Lando slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer.

“I thought I had lost you”, he whispered against her lips, feeling his eyes welling up with tears of relief. He felt it all too hard in his chest. “I'm so glad you're here with me”.

“Yeah, I thought we were doomed”, she admitted too, lacing their fingers together and giving his hand a squeeze. “But love always finds a way”.

“For you, I'll hang the stars in the sky, only to bring them back down if you want them back”, he confessed, now pulling her face between his hands. “I hope we can finally stop with the PR thing, or the friends with benefits thing, or whatever other stupid label between us, and properly be a couple”.

She giggled with him and nodded in agreement. “I want it all with you, Lan. You and me, to the end of times”.

“Forever, my love”, he pulled her for a hug and pressed countless kisses to the top of her head. “Also, now that you’re finally talking to me, congratulations again on your Emmy nomination. I’ve never been so proud of you”, he poked her sides and she laughed with his actions.

“Thank you, love”, she kissed his nose, making him blush a little.

“I’ll never get enough of praising you for this. I was so happy when I heard the news. I knew you were extraordinary, and it was just a matter of time until they recognized it”, he affirmed. “I almost exploded for not getting to celebrate it with you”.

“To be fair, I celebrated it crying alone in my room”, she confessed between laughs. Lando's heart faltered at the confession and his smile dropped. Y/N deserved a proper celebration to this incredible achievement in her career.

“You're kidding, right? So we have three things to celebrate tonight”, he said, making Y/N frown in confusion.

 “What's the third thing to celebrate?”

“My grand prix win, your nomination and our love, now very much official”, he cracked a smile, making her laugh with his statement. Y/N just had to pull him for another hug and lots of cheek kisses.

“You’re so adorable”.

“Come on, let’s get ready. We have a party to go to”.

As she watched him waltz into the bathroom for a shower, all smiley and happy, Y/N felt her heart lighter again. Everything was exactly where she wished for it to be, and she could finally enjoy it all with him. Love is weird, and sometimes it blossoms in places you would never expect. But it’s good to know you’re loved back, especially by someone as amazing as Lando. In the end, love always makes it right.

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

⤳ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @lizaschronicles @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstuff @bishhhitsaurion @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins @riccdannyf1 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @cmleitora @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @naanibubbletimmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @architect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @books0fever @marialovesf1 @sltwins @ourteenagetragedy @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @chilisandmilk @elleeeee21 @likedbygaslyy @notturlover @c-losur3 @brizzy-xo @gorgrussell @ellasaddiction2 @morketheduck @kravitzwhore @darkacademicvibes @jenna123456789 @crispymcniall @minkyungseokie @theovalentine @arsyao @phantomxoxo @noobmaster6931 @ohlahlaa @c0rpsecore @rafegirly @darleneslane @annalisenelson @nataliambc @amorydsmt @slytherinholland

crossed means i can't tag you! dm me and maybe we can get it fixed

[quibbs126]

So I finally decided to go and draw more of my Layton age swap au, so here you go

The first thing is just what I imagine Triton (Luke) and Locklair’s (Descole) first interaction to be like. Locklair gives a dramatic introduction for himself being all confident, and immediately Triton’s first reaction is “okay who’s child is this”. Locklair isn’t very fond of Triton

Next I drew a scene that’s been in my head for a while that I’m not sure I explained originally? Basically for context it’s been 4-6 years since Hershel was adopted by the Laytons, and for the most part his early childhood memories have been repressed, such as his parents and what happened to them. However, he does still have vague memories of having a brother, but they’re becoming incredibly faded, and were this the canon timeline, within a few years he’d forget them completely. But that hasn’t happened yet, so he still has them. But one big thing is that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t remember his brother’s name. He feels incredibly guilty about this, despite the actual reason being that it’s simply because he and his brother share the same name

Next I drew Emmy in this au, who at some point becomes part of the group, but I’m not sure when. Here she’s a teenager, around the same age as Desmond, though possibly a year or two older. In this continuity she’s still working for Targent, but at the same time she’s not very loyal to the group, other than her Uncle Leon and Aunt Rachel. See, some time after Leon and Rachel were abducted and forced to work for Targent, they had met Emmy, and seeing how she was all alone after her father died, and how she was around the same age as their son Hershel (Desmond) would be, they decided to take her in, basically becoming her surrogate parents. She also knows that they had two sons, Hershel and Theodore, though I haven’t decided whether or not she knows Hershel Layton is Theodore. If she does she’d told her aunt and uncle and is watching out for Hershel for them, and she acts like a big sister to him

Speaking of the Bronev parents, I’m not sure what to do with them. On one hand, I want them to reunite with their children and be happy. Rachel is still alive and while they’re both worse for wear, Leon isn’t exactly loyal to the group yet and hasn’t been corrupted by them, at least not to any significant degree. But in the other hand, I want Hershel to keep living happily with Roland and Lucille, and also for Desmond to be taken in by Flora, who acts as both a mentor and a guardian to him (I’ll elaborate on my next page since I have more ideas for this to draw)

Then finally, I wanted to draw Flora and Desmond, but I didn’t have enough room, so I just drew Flora in her working outfit. She builds robots like Bruno (though maybe not to his level just yet), and so she needs a much more practical outfit when doing so

But anyways, yeah, hope you enjoy, and this time I’ll try to spend more time on it and not leave it waiting in the dust for another several months (though I make no promises I am very haphazard)

[capricornwriter5]

OUR SEESAW - Chapter 4

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female OC

Genre: idol au, Suga X female OC, smut, fluff, angst, college romance, friends to lovers, exes to lovers, happy ending. ⚠️Warning: mentions of mental health affections, soft drugs

Words: 4k

➳ Prev. Chapter

Chapter 4 - Your eyes tell

On a Thursday night, Yoongi walked into the practice room quite exhausted since his bosses at the radio station had made him dig the entire city for new microphones. When he finally found them and even got a discount, he went back to the office to collect the money; however, his superiors told him they wouldn't buy them, they had decided over lunch that it wouldn't be a good investment.

Yoongi just took a deep breath and tried not to let that affect him, but he would have appreciated at least one message informing him, so he wouldn't have wasted the whole afternoon. After that, he had gone directly to the university because he had a test. Now, in front of the piano, he began to feel hungry. He didn't even try to look for something in his backpack, he knew there was nothing to eat. Why was he so stupid to spend the money on cigarettes instead of something to eat? It seemed that he would have no choice but to eat when he got home.

Resigned and trying to ignore his stomach, he began to play; yet, something weird was happening to him and his gaze was not on the sheet music or the piano keys, every now and then he looked at the door as if waiting for something, or someone. After almost two months of seeing Emmy entering at a specific hour, it was strange that she was not there.

"Why do I care if she comes or not?" He thought feeling kind of irritated.

A few minutes passed, but the errors while practicing were more persistent. As terribly a perfectionist as he was, Yoongi was already starting to get seriously annoyed with himself. He decided to walk away from the instrument, it hadn't been a good day, maybe if he distracted himself and smoked one of those cigarettes, he could concentrate.

"Hi!"

Emmy's greeting, or rather, scream as she entered, made Yoongi drop his things.

"Fuck" He whispered seeing the disaster he had made, all the cigarettes had scattered on the floor.

"I got out late from my... Are those cigarettes?" She asked closing the door behind her.

"I think you didn't say it loud enough, the people on the second floor didn't hear you." 

"I'm sorry," Emm said coming closer to help him. "You shouldn't smoke, you're going to end up with sick lungs."

“It was only one and I rarely do it”

Between the two of them, they picked up and put away the cigarettes. Then, Yoongi sat down again in front of the piano and Emmy stayed next to him. Not even a minute had passed when the boy's stomach rumbled.

"Yoongi! Haven't you eaten?! You're going to pass out!"

"It's not a big deal, I'll have dinner in a bit."

Completely ignoring the musician's words, Emmy grabbed her bag and literally emptied it onto the desk in front of her. “Wait, it has to be around here…”

“Do you have a store there?” Yoongi asked seeing the makeup, perfumes, creams, smaller bags, mirrors, books, chargers, and keys. He also saw a bottle of water and, strangest of all, a stuffed clown.

"I told him not to put it there... Hobi never listens to me." She commented between whispers.

"Emmy, I'd rather you keep everything, something alive can come out of there," He said with his arms crossed, pretending he wasn't that interested, but the truth was that he practically had his head in the girl's bag watching everything that came out. “Hey, be careful, look at the mess. Are those pearls? Are you really throwing pearls on the floor?”

The boy approached, but before he could help her, Emmy put something in his hand, it was a bag with a tangerine inside. Miraculously, the fruit was in perfect condition, none of the thousands of things that the girl had inside bumped it.

“I don't know if you like it, but it's my favorite fruit. I think it's not a good idea for me to bring you coffee today, right?"

Yoongi looked at the fruit not knowing what to say, and it wasn't the first time something from Emmy left him like that. He was not a person who believed in coincidences and considering that all interactions with Emmy left him stunned, many times he didn't even know how to react.

"You don't like it, right?"

"It's my favorite food." The pianist commented showing the first smile of the day. "Thanks"

The girl grinned pleased to have been able to help him with something. Just as she had placed the fruit in his hand, he did the same, handing her half.

"You told me that on Thursdays you had classes all day, you haven't eaten either, right?"

Yoongi wasn't wrong and soon they were both eating while Emmy entertained him by telling him something that had happened when she was on her way to meet him. She was running so fast and with so many things on her hands that she didn't pay attention and ended up tripping over a step.

"They should put a sign at the entrance."

"Or you should slow down."

“I was coming late, and I really wanted to hear you today. You told me that you'd practice with the song that I recommended to you.”

"You could've written to me, I could wait for you." Yoongi tried to say that like it was any comment; however, Emmy noticed how he lowered his gaze and his tone of voice deepened even more. The boy even cleared his throat and looked towards the door, all in order not to look at her.

For her part, Emmy smiled tenderly, it was very sweet to see the serious pianist embarrassed by something.

"I would have, yes, if I had your number."

Emm's answer made Yoongi turn around again and offering his hand, he waited for the girl to give him the cell phone to save his contact.

"The song you asked me for isn't that easy." He remarked while tipping his number. "But I think I nailed it." Emm thought she had heard wrong, but Yoongi's seriousness made it clear to her that it was for real, he had learned the song in just one day. “I still need to work on some parts, do you want to listen to it now, or do you prefer me to play it later? Why do I even ask you?" He laughed seeing Emmy already moving her chair closer to him.

Yoongi's ability to express himself through music was incredible, words could fail him, but the music never. Just as on some occasions the songs he played were significantly intense and serious, others could be melancholy, funny, or tremendously sweet, like that night. Despite Yoongi felt a little tense before Emm got there, now that he was playing the piano again, he was much more relaxed. The soothing movements of his shoulders, as well as a couple of discreet glances that he threw at her, made Emmy's heart feel warm.

The whole time Yoongi played, the girl was thinking about how wrong all those who had judged him as a disinterested and rude boy were. He was quite introverted, that was true, but it was also true that Yoongi could be the most charming and vulnerable person when he opened up through his music.

When the song ended, the pianist looked at Emm's eyes and for the first time, he was intrigued by what someone thought, so much so that he couldn't help but verbalize it.

"And well…? There's still a lot to work on, but…”

“It sounded better than the original,” she answered. “I've only heard one person play it live and it was a long time ago. You did amazing.”

For a few seconds they both held each other's gaze, but Yoongi's shyness made him cut off eye contact. 

“It will sound better next time.” He promised getting up.

Yoongi and Emmy left the building together, but the girl's slow pace was enough of a sign for him to understand that she had hurt herself in the fall. He immediately slowed down his steps as he was checking on her. What he could not do was to hear what Emm was saying, for Yoongi was overthinking a simple offer. He wasn't sure it was a good idea. How would he offer to take her home on his motorcycle? Emmy would not get on, and if she accepted, she would surely be uncomfortable. But his motorcycle wasn't that bad... in fact, several girls had asked him to let them ride it, but he always said no. However, Yoongi couldn't visualize someone pulling pearls out of her bag like candy getting on a motorcycle. Or maybe yes? After all, Emmy was anything but predictable. Who else would walk in a window one night and start talking to him out of the blue? If she did that, maybe a motorcycle ride wouldn't be so weird.

Before they knew it, they were already facing the street, his motorcycle was just there. Swallowing hard and trying to ignore the anxiety that was already beginning to creep in, Yoongi spoke.

“You shouldn't walk. If you want, I can…”

Emm didn't have time to answer him when the lights of a car parking right next to the couple dazzled them. It was a latest model car, not even available yet in the market for everyone, it was an exclusive line, one of those that were only seen in movies. However, there it was in front of them and soon they could see who its owner was: Woosung. The singer had just finished classes and was driving home when he saw his friend walking. Woosung stopped and was already lowering the window to speak.

 “Emm, what the hell are you doing walking in this cold, have you gone crazy? Get in here."

“Woosung! What are you doing here? I thought you were eating with Hobi and Nara.”

“We've been trying to reach you for over an hour. We want to go to a new place, but we were waiting for you.”

That was when the boy saw who was with Emmy. If Hoseok was indiscreet, Woosung had nothing to envy, as he looked at Yoongi with his mouth open.

Emmy immediately introduced them, but the pianist barely nodded his head in greeting. Yoongi knew perfectly well who Woosung was.

"Do you want to go with us? You could have something more than a tangerine for dinner.” The girl offered with a kind smile and speaking only to Yoongi, all while Woosung was nowhere near getting out of the window to listen.

“I have to work. Check that foot out when you get home.”

Yoongi didn't say anything else, he just put his hands inside his bags and walked away thinking that he had been seconds away from offering the girl a ride on a simple motorcycle when she could perfectly go in a car like the one they had just seen.

"What the hell was I thinking…?"

"Shit, shit, shit, I'm sorry." Woosung apologized when his friend got into the car but was still staring at the pianist. "I'm sorry, you know I don't see well without my glasses, I didn't know it was him."

"For a moment I thought that... no, forget it, impossible." She answered without losing sight of the musician getting on the motorcycle.

“Did I interrupt something important?”

"No" The girl answered convincing herself that she had imagined it and that Yoongi had not been about to offer her a ride home.

*********

A few nights later, Yoongi was getting to the campus when his cell phone rang, and seeing that it was his brother, he didn't think twice to answer. He had an excellent relationship with Geumjae, those four years of difference really seemed to have never existed, since both of them could remember, they always played together and shared everything. The years began to pass and Yoongi's personality became more and more reserved, but that did not mean a distance between them. Yoongi was the first to leave home and it hurt him the most to stop seeing his brother, but there was not way to make Yoongi stay.

They talked every week, but they usually did it in the morning before going to work.

"Hyung, I didn't expect your call."

"I know, I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but I needed to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Mom's sick."

On another occasion, and with another person, Geumjae would have been more sensitive in breaking the news, but he knew what his brother was like, and beating around the bush with Yoongi was a bad idea, the musician HATED it.

Yet, those words made Yoongi stop in his tracks, his mother was very healthy; to tell the truth, he didn't have a single memory of her sick, he needed his brother to explain. Apparently, it was her hip, she had been in a lot of pain in the last few days, so Geumjae took her to the hospital. They still had to do several tests, but everything seemed to point to significant wear and tear that, if not treated in time, would cause her not to walk again soon.

"What will happen if the results of the tests indicate that it is necessary to operate?"

"The surgery’s almost a fact, that's the problem."

"Hyung, tell me what's going on."

“Mom and dad don't have health insurance, Yoongi. They told us they had not to worry, but they don't."

That conversation with Geumjae forced Yoongi to sit down. Most likely, they would have to operate on his mother, and even if that happened in a few months, because she had to go to therapy first, it was a lot of money, money that he clearly did not have, nor did his brother. His father couldn't help much either, as he was also ill. The pianist would have to look for another job soon, maybe he could double his shifts at the restaurant, yes, that would be the best option.

"Don't call mom yet, I promised her I wouldn't tell you. She doesn't want to worry you. My savings could cover the therapy before the surgery."

"Forget it, hyung, you're still paying the house mortgage."

"Perhaps we could ask for a loan."

"I'll take care of it."

"Yoongi, please, you know that's not possible."

"I'll take care of this," Yoongi repeated, "Just don't tell her anything."

"No, no, and no! I'm sick of covering for you at home. Yoongi, it's not fair that mom and dad don't know that you're the one who has been taking care of so many things."

"You know how they'll react if they know the truth, hyung."

"Come home, at least once, you'll see that things are not as you think."

"Let's just focus on mum's health."

The brothers continued talking, this time about less worrying topics, Geumjae didn't want to ruin his younger brother's night. However, that was almost impossible, and as soon as Yoongi hung up, his mind raced looking for solutions.

"Yoongi?" A voice brought him out of his thoughts and when he looked up, he saw Emmy in front of him with the usual two cups of coffee. “I was on my way to the practice room. What are you doing out here?"

"Hi… There's no rehearsal today, I have things to do and..."

"Wait," She asked sitting next to him. "You don't look good, drink this first."

Yoongi was going to reject the coffee, but without intending it, Emmy convinced him just by showing him a smile. Giving a second thought, there was no reason to refuse the drink, after all, at that hour his boss hadn't arrived at the restaurant, so he couldn't even talk to him to ask for more working hours. Besides, Yoongi couldn't deny how good it felt to drink something hot and sweet. Wait, sweet?

Emmy laughed when she witnessed the pianist's face, and even more when she noticed him smelling the drink.

"It’s hot chocolate."

"Oh! It tastes fine." He answered showing a slight smile, so much so that Emmy barely managed to perceive it. "Look, I think there won't be any more rehearsals for a while."

"What? Why? Please don't tell me someone discovered me! Shit! Yoongi, did I cause you a problem?"

The girl's look of anguish made Yoongi laugh, Emmy had no idea, but her eyes left nothing she was feeling to the imagination. Her face was extremely expressive. Yoongi had already noticed that since he used to watch her from the corner of his eye while she was listing to him. Yoongi had quickly learned to read her gestures, he already knew when she liked a song or when she discovered a mistake during the practice.

It was impossible not to find cute her worry. She had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he had to stop practicing. To tell the truth, when he thought of another job, he tried to think of something else that would not force him to leave those night practices, but he could not visualize any other option.

“No, it has nothing to do with that,” Yoongi reassured. “It's just a change in my work schedule, I won't have free time at night. My roommate will get crazy because I'll need to practice at home."

"Can't you look for another job with another schedule?" She asked while Yoongi shook his head.

For a while none of them spoke, they just drank their chocolates. Both thought exactly the same thing, they did not want the practices to end. For almost two months Yoongi and Emm saw each other practically every night and had even grown used to each other's company. Listening to Yoongi was the only thing that gave Emmy some peace after spending hours studying something she hated. Not to mention that the boy's melodies took her back to the only time she was genuinely happy. Besides, playing for Emmy was exceptionally comforting for Yoongi, as it was the only time he was truly proud of his music. Only then did Yoongi think that he was not trying in vain, and that everything he had been pursuing for years did make sense.

“Yoongi…” Emmy called, steeling herself and making the pianist look at her. “If what you need is a job, you could teach me. That way you could keep rehearsing while I practice what you teach me.”

"Are you serious?" Yoongi asked with a laugh, the idea seemed absurd to him, but seeing that Emmy nodded seriously, he shook his head. "I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't have your talent, but I know something, I promise I'll be a good student and I won't bother you, I'll learn fast."

"You aren't the problem." He cleared up right away. "I don't know how to teach and..."

"Well, you learn," Emmy responded as if it were the obvious thing to do. "If it's about the money, I'll pay you the same as what they offer you at your job."

"Emmy, no."

"Okay, double."

Yoongi's eyes widened, firstly because he was surprised by how easily she proposed that without even knowing how much he earned at the restaurant, and secondly because he never imagined that she was genuinely so interested in the piano. However, even though he liked the girl's company, Yoongi couldn't take the job and he had his reasons.

"I appreciate the offer, but my answer is no."

Emmy remembered what Woosung had told her, Yoongi didn't have any friends in college, he refused all group work and was the first to ask to be allowed to do everything individually. However, she had spent time with him and something told her that she could convince him, just as something assured her that it wasn't that he didn't want to, but that he didn't know how to accept it, or that he had had a bad experience before.

"Can't you at least think about it?" The girl insisted.

"You don't even know how much they pay me."

"That's not a problem, I'm willing to pay you whatever you tell me."

"Why?"

“Because I'm not going to find a better professor than you. Even though you say you don't know how to teach, I've listened to you, I know how talented you are.” Emmy smiled tenderly seeing how Yoongi blushed and in order to avoid her, he fixed all his concentration on the hot chocolate. "Also, playing piano was something huge for me, I stopped doing it years ago and I swore I was never even sit in front of one again. If I do it again, it's with you, Yoongi."

Silence and cold surrounded them. While Yoongi wondered what could have kept the girl from music if she loved it so much, she tried to understand why Yoongi had such an impenetrable shield. Had someone hurt him, or had he always been that distrustful and dour?

"Well, since this is supposed to be the last time I see you around here, let's go get something to eat together." She proposed making him look up again. "As a farewell and thanks for letting me listen to you all this time."

The boy was about to answer; however, he froze when he felt Emmy's index finger brush his lips to keep him silent.

“You told me there would be no rehearsal today, you have no more excuses, come on. I'll even let you choose!"

After the news that his brother had given him, Yoongi considered that the last thing he should do was go out, but he accepted. Emmy had something special, something in that bright and positive personality that pushed him to accept everything she proposed.

"Fine, but I'm not sure you're going to like the place."

“Wait a minute! Min Yoongi, are you judging me? YOU? The person who looked like a grumpy cat when I thought you were emo?"

That comment earned Emmy to see the musician's gummy slime for the first time. It was the LAST thing she expected to see on Yoongi's face. In a matter of seconds, his eyes practically disappeared into half-moons and his cheeks plumped in such a way that Emmy thought she had never seen anything cuter in her life. Suddenly, Min Yoongi was no longer the mysterious musician, but an extremely cute boy, with such a bright and comforting aura, that Emmy even stopped breathing in surprise. Yoongi had no idea, he couldn't even suspect how easy it was to steal the girl's heart that night.

"You're right, I'm being a prejudiced idiot. I'm sorry."

"I don't care about the place, as long as it has delicious food, I'll be happy."

"Then, let's go." He said showing her a heartfelt smile.

"Kid?"

An old man's voice made the couple turn around. It was Yoongi's janitor friend. He had seen the boy and came to greet him, but he was quite impressed not only to see him accompanied, but also smiling that way.

“Harabeoji? What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I'm covering for a colleague, it's just for today, you know I don't like to work at night." He explained now turning his gaze to Emmy.

The girl immediately bowed to greet him. The way she did it showed respect for him, something that the old man did not expect, most of the students did not even notice his presence, much less those who came from wealthy families, something more than clear based on the girl's appearance.

"Harabeoji, this is Emmy."

"Good evening, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you."

“The pleasure is certainly mine, miss." He answered impressed by her beauty and good manners. "I've never seen you around here."

"I'm a law student, but I come here to listen to Yoongi from time to time."

“Oh! So he did let YOU stay! This curmudgeonly boy would pout at me when I tried to listen to him in the mornings.”

Yoongi sighed resignedly, he was already sure of what was coming. At the moment Emmy said that Yoongi did the same to her, the two began to talk about how cranky the pianist was.

"You know... I'm still here." Yoongi mentioned looking as grumpy as always.

“Oh, we know! You better hear this from another person that it's not me, maybe that way you stop being so moody." The old man said. "Miss, can you also tell him to cut his hair?"

"Not again..." Yoongi said while Emmy laughed. However, she would never say such a thing, she loved the pianist's long hair. "Harabeoji, I'll see you later. Emmy, let's get out of here." Yoongi was practically pulling the girl by the sleeve of her coat to get them to leave, but he had a hard time doing it, as Emmy was trying to properly say goodbye.

The couple hadn't been far away when she turned and saw the old man walking hunched towards the building.

"Yoongi, do the janitors get coats?"

“Huh? I don't know, why do you ask?"

“Because he can get sick, more so if he'll be working at night.”

Yoongi looked in the same direction as her, and understood what the girl was saying.

“Shit, he came to work again without a coat, he's going to end up getting a cold. He talks about how I don't listen to him and he's the one who doesn't listen to me."

The pianist ran up to the old man and from where Emmy was, she saw how Yoongi put his coat on his shoulders and before the janitor could say a word, the musician was already coming back, completely ignoring all the times the old man told him to stop.

"Come on, you'd be surprised how fast he can be when it suits him."

They quickly managed to lose sight of the old man, and putting his hands inside his pants pockets, Yoongi tried to warm them up; however, it was on his neck where he felt a comforting heat. Without moving a single muscle, the boy witnessed how she finished wrapping her scarf around his neck.

"You can't take good care of others if you don't take care of yourself first."

With a wink from her, and a smirk from him, they headed out on their improvised date.

To be continued... 🐱

➳ Next Chapter

[fictionkinfessions]

Am I late to the pokemon team thing? Either way I remember a few of mine so I'm gonna talk about them because they were my kids!! As the MC in SuMo (Aptly named Moon Hoshi, Sun was actually my twin!!) I had Primarina, my "twin" Gardevoir Logan (who was shiny!!) and Emmy (she was the older one!!), Mimi the Mimikyu (it liked to sit on Dragonite's head), Dragonite (she liked scritches around her horns!!), and Roxy my Sylveon!! (1/?) [#daughter of thor]

As Kalliope I got eeby deebyed to Hisui with Dad, so I had both a Unovan team and a Hisuian team!! My Unova team was Kevin the Samurott, Anthea the Liligant, Melania the Gothitelle, Emmet the Galvantula (gee can you tell i loved my uncle? /pos /gen), Webby the Dwebble, and Achilles the Golett!! (2/3) [#daughter of thor] (Sorry for the weird format MPC, I thought it would be easier to read if I sent in ne for each team!!)

Ironically enough, as Kalliope I ended up with slight memory loss as well because trauma when getting to Hisui I think? So I had ANOTHER Samurott named Kevin because something just Clicked Together when I saw that Oshawott. But my team in Hisui was Kevin the Hisuian Samurott, Midas the shiny Luxray, Starshine the shiny Eevee, Mamaring the Ursaring, Nines the Alpha Kantonian Ninetails (who was a big baby /aff), Ophelia the Hisuian Zorua, and Lilac the Hisuian Sneasel!! (3/4) [#daughter of thor]

I can also remember there being no strict rules about six mon to a team back in Hisui because battling was done for survival rather than for anything else. So while I did have seven Pokemon on my team, Lilac was never actually used in battles because she ended up as more of my daughter than the others? Lady Sneasler sorta just,, dropped the runt of her litter in my arms and then I had a Daughter™ I guess!! (4/4 sorry for it being so long MPC!!) [#daughter of thor]

[gaemkyuu]

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy

Warnings: none! A/N: This is my valentine’s day entry for @cherrymaybank ! Back to back posts about Charlie, Riley and little Emerson! We do talk about the potential to having another one in the family, but I’m not sure if we like the trio as it is... do you guys want to see Dad!Charlie with a new born and an 8 year old daughter? Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy

Riley emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet, Charlie rushing into their ensuite to help hold her hair back. He soothed her back and got her a glass of water from the sink. They had gone to the clinic yesterday to confirm whether or not she was pregnant, since she had been nauseous and throwing up a lot lately. The drug store pregnancy tests were negative, but then again the same thing happened when Riley was pregnant with Emerson. She was normally irregular and active, but grew up with the doctors always saying she would have fertility problems. Emerson came to her as a shock.

“Mommy?” they heard their little girl call out from the hallway, and Charlie got up to intervene before she saw her mother.

“Hey Princess, bad dream?” Charlie scooped Emerson up from the hallway, feeling her heaviness set in. Emerson was 7 and soon to be 8, but Charlie wouldn’t pass the opportunity to pick her up. He didn’t want her growing up too fast, although mentally that ship had sailed.

“No, I had a weird one” she hugged his back and laid her head on his shoulder. “Can we have a midnight snack Daddy?” that’s when Charlie noticed the clock in the hallway read 1:13AM. He contemplated it for a moment, thinking about how Riley wouldn’t approve, but she wasn’t there to stop him and she would appreciate him distracting Emerson.

“Sure, you get the cookies and milk. I’ll be down to help with plates and stuff.” he set her down and kissed her on the head. Emerson looked up inquisitively at him and then back at their open bedroom door. Charlie noticed, and turned her around, gently pushing her towards the kitchen. “Mommy’s fine, just a tiny upset stomach. I’m gonna go make sure she’s good, so don’t eat all the cookies without me” 

This made the little girl giggle as she made her way to the kitchen. Charlie went back to check on Riley, who had her back to the wall adjacent to the toilet. She looked better, less pale, but still exhausted. “You want me to help you up?”

“No, I think I’ve got another round coming in a moment or two. Emerson okay?” Charlie nodded, taking the glass from her hand and refilling it. “Let me guess. Another round of Gillespie’s Midnight Munchies?”

“What can I say? She’s super persuasive” He passed her the glass and she scoffed before taking another drink. “She’s got me wrapped around her fingers”

“Well then don’t let me stop you! You’re princess awaits!” She made a flamboyant gesture of hands referencing her daughter, grateful for her acceptance of Charlie in her life. Riley had to admit that it was helpful to have Charlie around! 

Since the wedding, Riley had made the decision to homeschool Emerson. It meant that she could play with kids in the neighbourhood, but do schoolwork at her pace. Riley was able to work a lot more from home and with Charlie’s acting hours, it meant that he could be home a lot more too. She was often in charge of setting up Emerson’s curriculum, but it helped to have Charlie around. She knew Emerson was learning because she would hear her daughter teaching Charlie the concepts that she went through that day when he would get her ready for bed. Emerson often expressed that she liked doing this more than what they had been doing before. Occasionally, she would go to a daycare program when both of them were busy, but Charlie often brought her to set when he could.

Riley smiles fondly the first time Charlie brought her to set on a project he was working on. She snapped a picture as they walked through the door, Emerson wearing a pretty dress, Charlie in his comfy clothes and a pink backpack that was way too small hung over his shoulder. They walked hand in hand to the car and waved goodbye to her. The time that the two spent together did include a lot of shenanigans and sometimes being outnumbered or out voted, but Charlie never let it get out of hand.

***

Emerson’s lip quivered as her mother shook her head no. She wanted ice cream, but Riley had refused because of the cotton candy she ate earlier. Emerson didn’t take a nap and woke up early, and more sugar would mean a bigger problem later that day. Not wanting to take no for an answer, Emerson asked Charlie, who also agreed that she should forego the ice cream. 

That was the straw that broke Emerson’s back.

Riley had never seen Emerson tantrum so bad before, especially since her toddler was known to be very mature. She was used to her daughter clamming up and refusing to talk to her until she was ready, but that day was a completely different experience. Here she was screaming and crying, insisting she deserved ice cream.

Charlie sensed Riley’s flusteredness and tried to calm Emerson down. When she screamed and cried louder, she flailed her arms about, hitting Riley and Charlie. That’s when his usual sparkle and mischief that was normally present in his eyes disappeared.

“Emerson Gianna Gillespie. That’s enough.” Emerson was in shock at the tone of his voice. He didn’t yell, but he wasn’t quiet either. She could see that his eyes meant business, and he had never used her real name. She sunk to the ground in a last attempt at defiance. “Please stand up, or we are going home.” Emerson refused to stand. Charlie motioned for Riley to pack up their stuff quickly, as he picked up Emerson and brought her to the car. He didn’t say a single word, even as Emerson started to cry softly on their way to the car. She had started to realize the errors of her actions and felt awful.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bad girl” she sniffed as Charlie buckled her into her booster seat. “Can we still get McDonalds?” she wiped away a few more tears as Riley got into the passenger side. Before she could reply, Charlie quickly answered the little girl.

“We are going home. We will talk about this when we get home” and with that he shut the door, and they drove home in silence. Emerson walked over to her time out corner in the house, a place where she rarely sat, but knew it was meant for her to reflect upon her actions. Emerson didn’t know that Charlie felt awful about being stone cold to her and was upstairs whisper venting to Riley, who patiently sat and listened. 

They made up over dinner that night and this was the first time that Emerson saw Charlie acting like a Daddy and not like a Charlie.

***

“Take all the time you need. I got Emmy” he kissed her head and went to join his little one at the kitchen island. As directed, the jar of cookies was on the counter, along with the jug of milk. She sat on the stood and swung her legs back and forth singing a song, waiting patiently for him. “Ready for some late night snicky snacks?”

“Mommy okay?” the little girl sat there waiting patiently but worrying about her mom. Charlie grabbed two dessert plates and two glasses for the milk and cookies. Charlie nodded and dished them up some cookies and poured the milk into the glasses, humming to himself. They clinked their glasses together and enjoyed their food in silence, only the sounds of the cookies crunching.

“Are you going to tell me about the weird dream you had?” he asked, a few crumbs spilling from his mouth. He wiped the corner of Emerson’s mouth with his thumb and took a sip of his milk.

“I had a dream that I had a baby brother” Charlie spat out his milk and choked, coughing at her comment. Emerson patted the man on the back, something she often saw adults do to other adults when they choked and something her parents did for her. “Isn’t that why mommy has an upset stomach?”

“Who told you that?” Charlie wiped his mouth and the counter of his mess, moving to dispose of the paper towel in the kitchen garbage. Emerson quietly munched on her cookie and took a drink of milk. “It was Uncle Owen wasn’t it?” she nodded, knowing that speaking with a full mouth was rude. Charlie made a mental note to chastise Owen later. Emerson was smart and perceptive but she was still a kid and who knows what the giant told her in his panic. Charlie gave her another cookie.

“Is this meant to keep me quiet? Uncle Owen did that last time. He said adults like to bribe children with things so they behave and don’t expose them. Didn’t anyone tell Uncle Owen that he’s not supposed to keep secrets or lie?” The little girl greatly accepted the cookie from Charlie and took a big bite, sipping on some more milk to help wash it down.

“No, it’s not a bribe. I’m giving you another cookie because you’re so tiny! I have to fatten you up if I’m going to bake you into a pie!” he joked as he tickled the girl. She laughed and dropped her cookie as Charlie attacked her sides and blew raspberries into her neck.

Even though Riley was 5”2 and her mother was short, Emerson seemed a little too much on the tiny side. She was still the height of your average six year old but she was thin and weighed very little despite the amount of food she ate. Her pediatricians worried that she wasn’t growing as healthily as the other children, but found no problems or illnesses within her. She was simply a late bloomer. It didn’t help that she was twice as smart as kids her age either, but Charlie made sure she knew that was something to be proud of. Both parents always told her that real friends would like her despite her differences and that being like the other kids is boring. 

“Seems like you two are doing fine without me!” the two froze in their act as they realized that Riley had walked into the kitchen. She smiled and grabbed the cookie off Charlie’s plate, sipping on his milk.

“Yup. Definitely pregnant. I guess I am getting a younger brother” Riley’s eyes were as wide as saucers and Charlie rolled his. She looked to Charlie for answers.

“Owen?”

“Owen.”

“Daddy? I think I’m ready to go back to bed” Emerson rubbed her eyes and hopped off the chair. Her mother smiled and gave her little girl a big hug, she couldn’t believe that Emerson would soon be 8.

“You and mommy go upstairs. I’ll clean up down here” Charlie gave both of his girls a kiss on the head before they retreated to Emerson’s bedroom. He began to pick up the plates and wipe the counter down, not bothering to wash the plates. He was supposed to be cooking breakfast for everyone in the morning, so he thought to wash their dishes then, but seeing as they were up so late, breakfast might be brunch. Just as he was putting away the milk and cookie jar, he heard soft footsteps rush into the kitchen. When he closed the door, he saw no one except a little red present box on the counter.

To Daddy

From Emmy

He smiled and carried the tiny box over to the bedroom. Riley was just tucking Emerson in, when he popped his head into the bedroom and shook the box. Emerson blushed and hid under the covers and Riley turned around seeing the box that Charlie shook.

“Is that where you went? I thought you were going pee!” her mother prodded, poking her daughter who was trying to hide. “Why are you hiding Emmy? There’s no need to be shy about it!”

“Did you know about this?” Riley shook her head no and peeled the blanket off her daughter. She hid her face in her hands, blushing a deep pink. “Emmy, come on, I wanna share this moment with you!” Charlie sat down at the foot of the bed and Riley sat beside her. Emerson lowered her hands from her face.

“Uncle Owen helped me with this when he babysat me last week” she smiled, avoiding eye contact. Charlie opened the box and instantly felt his heart grow big. Seeing his reaction, Riley peered into the box and understood the man’s reaction.

In the tiny red box lay a plastic guitar pick which had a picture from their wedding printed on it. It was a photo of the three of them, a stolen shot, between professional takes that encaptured their family’s dynamic. They were all smiling and laughing. It was Charlie’s favorite picture and it was his phone background. At the top of the pic was a tiny hole that connected it to a chain that he could wear around his neck.

“I haven’t been to daycare in a while, so I missed the Valentine’s day crafts. I’m going to a tea party with Aunty Savannah and mommy for Valentine’s day, but I didn’t have anything for you” Charlie opened his arms and beckoned for the little girl to crawl into his lap and hug him back. He rested his chin on her head and sniffed back the tears that had formed. “Did you read the back?” he pulled away and flipped the pick around.

Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy!

“Gosh Emmy, you are just so smart” he pulled the little girl in for another hug, a tear escaping his eye and he kissed her head again. “You didn’t have to do this Princess!”

“It’s my first Valentine’s day with a Daddy. Every year, the girls at the daycare got to have a Valentine’s day date with their Dads and would make them stuff at craft time. This is the first year I get to do it, so I wanted it to be special” she smiled up at him, happy that he liked the gift.

“I love it Emmy. I’ll never take it off” he placed it around his neck and fiddled with it again. Charlie really meant that he never wanted to take it off. Everything precious to him was represented on that pick. He made a mental note to thank Owen and probably not chastise him as bad as he wanted to before.

“Does that mean I get to spend Valentine’s day with the both of you?” Charlie and Riley shared a confused look, wondering where the question came from. Sensing their confusion, Emerson clarified her question. “Uncle Owen said that on Valentine’s day, you guys were going to play hide the zucchini, so he’d probably babysit me again. I thought it sounded like fun”

Cancel that. Charlie was definitely going to kill Owen.

[snaketherapy]

Siren/merfolk au thingy-

Part 1/?

Roman sighed as Logan walked over to another door, this one looking much like the others except some weird symbol carved into the metal. “I swear, this is just gonna be another room full of documents talking about fish we already know about. Or maybe another shredded picture torn up by rats!” Roman scoffed. He was so done with exploring this abandoned aquarium. They were the only ones to enter it in years apparently, due to rumours of some man-eating creatures that lurk there. That’s why Roman came along. He wanted adventure but all they’ve found so far is useless and information about fish they’ve already done research on.

“Hey Lo, did the former owners take the fish from here?” He called over his shoulder, his eyes scanning the floor of the tank. “According to what I read about this place and it’s owners, no. Why do you ask?” Logan answered as he and Patton walked over to the tallest of the group. “Well, there are no corpses or anything. Not even bones, cartilage, fins, nothing.” He hummed, looking from the water back to his colleagues. Logan stayed silent as he thought about Roman’s words, his own eyes searching the water himself. Suddenly the sound of footsteps entered the room. The three turned to see Roman’s brother, Remus, standing near the door. “Sup nerds. Sorry to distract you from your research or whatever your doing here but Emile is freaking the fuck out for some reason. He’s still in the truck but something obviously spooked him.”

The four quickly walked out of the room and out of the building altogether, unaware of the two pairs of eyes that were watching them.

✨🌙✨

Patton hopped into the back of the trailer attached to their truck, the doors already opened. He could already hear the distressed splashing coming from the tank near the front wall. He walked over, followed by the others, and sat on the side of the custom made tank. They had learned that the mer had abandonment issues and the twins, with the help of their older brother, made a tank for Emile in the trailer so they could take them with the group when they were exploring or going to the beach. Usually Remy also tagged along but the merman was currently resting due to him hitting his head against one of the tanks rather hard when he was playing with the other mers and marine mammals.

As soon as Patton sat down, Emile quickly jumped out of the water and sat beside Patton on the side of the tank, his pink tail folded under him. Their eyes were worried and their nose was scrunched up as if they smelt something vile, their large rounded tail fins flicking anxiously. “Hey emmy, what’s wrong?” Roman asked, figuring the mer might’ve just been uneasy because Remy hadn’t tagged along. Emile replied with a few distressed clicks, their head turning to the entrance of the trailer for a second before turning back to the humans. Patton hummed a small tune to hopefully calm Emile’s nerves enough so that they could respond in human tongue.

Emile had been rescued a few years ago when he got caught in a hunters trap, which was illegal at the beach they had placed it. They still had small scars littering their back and chest, and they had to get a replacement for one of his fins due to it bending due to the chains of the trap. The group had to remove it because Emile wouldn’t be able to swim with it bent like that. Roman had worked with Logan to make a replacement fin for them though. At first, they planned to help the mer just get used to its new fin and clear the beach of traps before releasing them but Emile had other plans. They had gotten attached to the other mers and creatures at the facility. The humans even tried to put Emile back, bringing Remy along so that Emile stayed in the tank with them. Roman had managed to pick up the mer and place them back into the ocean but Remy had jumped out of the portable tank they brought them here in and followed Emile. They tried everything to get Remy to get back into the tank but nothing worked. Well, until they agreed to take Emile with them.

So while Emile was now a permanent resident at the facility, they still didn’t speak fluent human so Remy often helped them, as the coffee-stealing mer was actually human-raised and not ocean born like Emile was.

“P-Predator.” Emile had managed to spit out after a while. Another thing about Emile the others had noted was that they often were sent into a panic attack when they sensed something that could be dangerous, even if it wasn’t. Logan blinked, a few thoughts running through his mind. They hadn’t found any signs of life or anything living in the abandoned building besides rats and a nest of birds. And they knew that Emile was fine with birds and small mammals, as they had seen Emile bring back animals like a cat, except they kept them alive.

“Did you see anything nearby Remus?” Logan asked, figuring that Emile may have heard a large dog or maybe seen one on the beach of where the abandoned aquarium was placed as another cat-like trait Emile had was having an irrational fear of canines. “Nope. I was planning on letting Emile out to swim in the water but they refused quickly and basically tried to hide in the corner of the tank. All that I’ve seen are some seagulls.” Remus replied, leaning against the wall of the trailer.

Suddenly alarmed squawks sounded from the beach, making all of the humans eyes widen and look over to the beach. They couldn’t see much behind the cloud of sand, dust and feathers where the sound was coming from. Emile immediately dove back into the tank with a scared whine. “What the hell…” Remus muttered before he ran out, Roman following. Logan ran after the two after making sure Patton was okay with trying to calm the panicking mer down.

When the cloud of dust cleared the three humans' eyes widened. Blood and feathers covered the sand around the creature, as well as three dead seagulls. Each one of the seagulls' corpses had a large bite mark on the side of them, their wings being torn halfway off and skin being shown behind the torn off feathers. The creature didn’t seem to notice the humans at first as it was still spitting out feathers with its nose scrunched up, the blood from the birds must’ve overpowered the scent of the humans. Suddenly the creature's head turned to the humans, it’s teeth bared in a snarl before it must’ve noticed something about the humans. The humans than got a good look at the creature.

It looked somewhat like a mer, a long tail starting at its waist and must’ve been at least 6’ feet in length, not taking in count of its fins. Starting from around the middle of its tail and ending in between its shoulder blades just below its neck was a large black fin covered in purple stripes that ended in the middle of the fin. It’s tail fins look similar except with more of a leather-looking texture and the ends looked as sharp as knives. Smaller fins went along the side of the tail and were also placed on its shoulders, elbows and bigger ones on the side of its torso and two longer ones replacing its ears. It’s eyes were a bright purple and it’s pupils dilated like a reptiles. It’s limbs started fading into a black near the elbow, small black freckles going up its arms and covering its back. The sides of its face, torso and neck also faded from the very pale white to pure black, almost looking like spray paint. It’s hair was long and tied back with what looked like thin rope, the long dull purple pony-tail resting on its back.

Roman almost shrieked as the creature bared its sharp teeth again, a low growl coming from its throat. The blood coating around its mouth and teeth didn’t help at all either. “Woah...” Remus muttered as he took a step forward but was quickly yanked back by Logan grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling. “That thing could be a siren. Don’t approach it!” Roman hissed as he backhanded his brother on the head. “It’s not a siren. I’ve done research on them. If it was, it would’ve lured the seagulls instead of just straight on attacking them with tooth and claw. Sirens drown their prey first, and they mostly go for humans or larger animals.” Remus informed, hitting his brother on the head back.

Remus took a step forward again, leaning down slightly like the group did when they first approached a new mer. The mer-like creatures ear fins folded back as it glared at Remus, another growl rising from its throat. Remus stopped walking and instead slowly sat down on the sand, giving the creature space and not making any sudden movements. The creature blinked a few times before its expression changed. Instead of glaring, it was looking Remus up and down sceptically. The mer slithered forward little by little until it was around an arm-length away from Remus. Remus slowly reached his arm out towards the mer, who backed its head up in response for a second. It relaxed soon again but a loud screech filled the air, making the three humans instinctively cover their ears with their hands.

The creature turned its head and looked to the aquarium and then suddenly to the truck, its ears perking up. It growled again, but this was more high-pitched and seemed to almost mimic a happy squeal that they commonly heard from the mers. That’s when it hit Logan. This is what Emile was freaking out about. This was the predator they were talking about. Logan quickly yanked Remus up with surprising strength, grabbing him by the arm and then Roman and hurrying back to the truck. He let them go near the side of the truck, not answering their questions as he grabbed his gun from inside the truck. It wasn’t an actual gun, just one that shot narcotic bullets that would put mers and other sea creatures to sleep, and hopefully this creature to. “Patton! Come here and make sure the twins don’t move.” He called out and started walking away, much to the two siblings protests.

Patton did as told and came to stand beside the twins, equally as confused. Logan crouched down near the side of the trailer, focusing on the creature as it moved towards the trailer. It hadn’t noticed Logan crouched there, as it was clearly focusing on something in the truck. That something being prey.

As soon as the creature set a hand on the edge of the truck, Logan aimed and quickly shot. The bullet hit the creature directly on the fin and it let out a surprised hiss. Logan quickly moved out of sight and hid against the side of the trailer. He heard a bit of thrashing and then a small thunk. He let out a sigh of relief and turned his head to see the creature laying on the ground unconscious. “Logan! What the hell was that for?” Remus exclaimed, trotting over to Logan with the other two following. “It was hunting Emile. I think that sound we heard might have been another one of them alerting it of nearby prey.” Logan explained, pushing up his glasses with his free hand. “Now call Thomas. We need another truck just in case it wakes up.”

“You don’t mean… Logan, we can’t take this thing back with us!”

“We can and we should. If you two didn’t notice, one of its fins is twisted.”

✨🌙✨

Remus gently placed the creature into the large tank, closing the door behind him as he walked out and back to where the others were looking through the glass. The creature floated in the water for a few seconds before its eyes fluttered open and then widened. It immediately spun around, its tail thrashing wildly. It continued to look around frantically, seemingly panicking at its new surroundings. “I told you this was a bad idea specs. The thing is clearly panicking-“ Remus was cut off by a tap on some glass and the sound of splashing water. The four turned to the small tank in the corner of the room that was connected to the tunnels that went in between all the tanks so the mers could move around more. Remy was leaning against the glass, an eyebrow raised at the group of humans as a still anxious-looking Emile popped out of the water beside him. “Emmy told me about how you found a sharp-fin.” He hummed, his head turning towards the tank. “Sharp-fin?” Roman muttered but didn’t get a response as Remy suddenly jumped out of the tank and slithered over to the glass of the larger tank. He knocked on the glass in a certain rhythm the humans didn’t recognize and the creature suddenly stopped thrashing its tail and looking around, its eyes now directed on Remy. It seemed to snarl for a moment before it stopped and suddenly appeared at the glass, moving at insane-speeds despite its bent tail fin.

Remy cooed happily and knocked against the glass again in the same pattern. The humans and Emile looked at Remy dumbfounded as the creature tapped back the same pattern. “Remus, do you mind letting me into the tank?” Remy questioned, looking to Remus with big eyes through his sunglasses. “I- but that thing literally tried to hunt Emile and tore apart a bunch of seagulls! How do we know if-“ “Just trust me on this one.”

Through some convincing, Remy was eventually allowed to jump into the large tank. As soon as he was in the water, he was tackled by the creature who was a bit bigger than him. Roman was just about to run up to the entrance of the tank when he saw Remy nip at the creature playfully. The creature immediately swam off a bit away before doing a small twirl. Remy did the same before swimming forwards and tackling the creature like it did to him, the two rolling through the water. The creature nipped back but Remy just head butted it in its stomach before swimming off again and doing a twirl. The group watched the two continue to play the strange game for a while before Remy started actually talking to the creature. A few minutes of talking later, the creature hesitantly nodded and Remy smiled brightly. The creature swam up to the top while Remy tapped the glass while looking at the humans before following after.

The group hesitantly walked up to the top of the tank, Remus leading. When they got up they saw Remy resting on the platform where the door to the tank was, the creature sitting not too far away. It looked like it wanted to jump back into the water the moment it laid eyes on the humans but Remy’s tail gently curled around the others to make sure it didn’t leave. “Okay, so, this is V. He’s a sharp-fin, or a mer that stays in the deeper water or caves and hunts smaller mers, seals, and a few other things. I met him when we were just small, a bit before I was taken here.” Remy explained with a smile. Before the humans could respond or ask questions, a soft but low and husky voice cut them off.

“Hi… Sorry about trying to eat your friend.”

💫🌘✨🌙✨🌒💫

[heyitsyn]

HALLOKNEE

Manager!Seijoh

a/n: a halloween special with our boys and the mess it is

summary: lets just say,, things get weird during halloween

okay so first of

halloween isnt a favorite holiday of most of the boys

like they all ltr are towers and skyscrapers but these kids are absolutely terrified of it all

but you just really like the holiday bc of yanno, candy, scary stuff, and omg costumes!

so you were basically very hyped and excited about it and you were excitedly humming to yourself as the date grew closer

the boys were confused as to why you were actually happy and in a good mood but they didnt complain bc they love seeing you happy

the flowery aura makes them heart eyes

HEART GOES DOKIDOKI

oikawa ran over and he stood behind you as you were distractedly humming to your clipboard

‘watcha doing, y/n-chan?’

he whispered to your ear

normally, you would shriek or flinch but you didnt and instead, turned and flashed him a grin

‘checking our schedule! i have a surprise for you all and i want to make sure theres nothing happening to stop it from happening!’

the boys grimaced and held a hand to their heart at your joy and they didnt even question what was going on or why you were so excited

all they know is you were happy

lmao oikawa got the hardest shot to it

he was front seat and his eyes widened and he froze

then he pulled you to his chest and nuzzled his face into your neck

‘aawwww~~!!!! youre so cute y/n-chan!!’

these idiots are so whipped and simp for you so hard that they completely forgot everything

your happiness continued for another week and my god that was probably the best week of their life bc you were just fluttering and giggling and skfjdslkjfdlflfkjs

to be fair though, you mentioned halloween being close and you were looking forward to a family night of watching scary movies in tv and duh these boys were already arguing with each other on who would protect you

‘I WANNA SIT NEXT TO  Y/N-CHAN!’

‘WHY?! SO YOU CAN HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HOLD HER?! YOURE A PERVERT SHITTYKAWA!’

‘AS IF YOURE NOT ANY BETTER IWAIZUMI!’

‘HANAMAKI STAY OUT OF THIS!’

ltr its just a big warcry between the third years while the second and first years already were getting head pats from you for being brave boys and were comfy right next to you

‘my boys are so cute~’

ITS A LOVE SHOT! NAAA NANANANANANANAANANAAAAAA

by then, the surprise was getting closer and you were already jumping in your toes

the night before, you texted the group chat to meet you at the school by 8 pm tomorrow

they all sent replies saying okay with no questions

‘okay love you y/n-chan! <3′

‘got it! good night!’

‘sweet dreams darling!’

at around 7:30, you were standing by the school bus since coach mizoguchi omg bless his heart was going to drive you all

the boys were all dressed in warm clothing and my gosh they all looked like models what the heck

we’re just going to ignore and forget that hideous infamous oikawa outfit

but you didnt focus on that and instead waved at them happily

‘you guys!’

oikawa jumped joyfully at your voice before naruto running over to you and scooping you in his arms

‘y/n-chan!’

he shouted and you didnt mind being twirled around since you were giggling and laughing

after iwa punched his head, oikawa had to let you down and they continued bickering so you took this chance to go over to the others by the side

‘are you all excited?’

you asked and they smiled softly

kunimi ruffled your hair and you grabbed his hand

‘it’s really sweet you planned something for us, y/n’

watari reached over to pat your head and you wholeheartedly accepted the affection

‘oi, just tell us’

kyotani grumbled but you cutely smiled and held a peace sign

‘nooo~~!’

you checked your watch and you jumped

‘oh my! we need to hurry on the bus now!’

you herded everyone to sit in their seats and oikawa raised an eyebrow at the driver

‘oh? why is-’

‘your dear manager wanted to have a bonding exercise for the team. how could we refuse? oh, coach irihata said to make sure you know how to breathe and calm down’

the last sentence made question marks appear on everyone’s heads but you waved it off

‘oh come on, mizoguchi-san! dont ruin the surprise!’

you whined from your seat and the elder caught your eye at the rearview

‘just making sure to warn them, especially oikawa’

‘me?’

but he went unanswered 

the team gave up trying to ask you bc you would just mischieviously smile and shake your head cutely

‘nope~! not tellingggg~!’

but oh my they were answered

mizoguchi dropped everyone off in front of a building where there was also other people at

owo the people just simply stared bc omg like 12 boys? thats freaking great and i have finally lived and can die peacefully now

the team blinked as they got off the shuttle bus and they were so confused that you waved mizoguchi off to make sure the boys wouldn’t run back to the bus if they figure it out

ofc our ever smart baby kunimi was the first to figure it out and his mouth opened

‘why,,, do you hate us, y/n-chan?’

slowly the light bulbs turned on in everyone’s heads and they all had the same shocked look

DKFLSJDKFJLDKFLJ LIKE IN OHSHC WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT HARUHI’S A GIRL OMG I MISS THAT SHOW

‘nope! im going home!’

kindaichi started to walk but you hurriedly grabbed his arm

‘nooo yuu-kun!!! noo!! please stay!! i worked so hard!!!’

you looked up with your puppy dog eyes and kindaichi scrunched his face up

no no no fight it kindaichi

but ofc hes weak to you so he sighed and went back with the group

‘oi, are you insane or what?’

kyotani, despite his tough facade, wasnt exactly the greatest with any jumpscares in movies so having a jumpscare in real life wouldn’t exaclty be,,,, not violent

but you trust he can handle it and leave the place without a charge for assault

it was clear the others were already regretting it and you got sad bc you did work hard on getting a reservation since this haunted house was the most haunted in this part of japan

your figure in front of them made them tear their eyes away from the scary windows which they swore had someone staring at them

‘come on, you guys! we’ll have fun! i promise! its not that scary!’

you assured but they still didnt look convinced

‘you know, i just,,, i wanted everyone to,, bond and,,, have fun,,,,,, and because halloween is my favorite holiday,, i thought i could share it with you all. but im sorry that i was selfish and,,,, did it even though you guys dont like it’

not at y/n being totally manipulative and using their affections and attraction to her to help her case

your downcast expression and sad eyes snapped them out of it and they just sucked it up and they all shared a look that practically meant

‘suck it up, and make sure y/n is having fun. forget about us, its her time right now’

this led to you guys standing in front of the door guy and he cracked up at the sight of this cute little girl bouncing in her shoes with a group of guys who looked pale and nauseous

‘reservation name?’

‘seijoh!’

you exclaimed and he looked in the list before nodding

‘okay. so first, the rope is what guides you all. make sure, whatever you do, never lose grip on it bc you might get lost. keep in mind, this is an actual abandoned hospital and is known to actually be haunted so unless you want to go ghost-hunting and meet unknown people or spirits, dont stray off’

that warning should’ve scared you like the boys but you just agreed with a bright grin

‘yep!’

the doorguy chuckled before reaching into the box beside him

ngl oikawa was already so scared that he flinched, not knowing what was inside of it

‘a flashlight to help you guide yourselves’

you held it tight and yahaba was already holding on to your jacket sleeve

‘also, phones in the bin, please’

‘hah?!’

iwaizumi started but you placed a hand on his chest

‘its to make sure no one films anything and ruins the surprise’

you assured and he stopped but continued glaring

everyone hesitantly placed their phones into the bin where they saw it being locked into a locker and the key was given to you

‘you can get it back when you exit so dont worry’

you nodded and the team rolled their eyes but nodded anyways

brats

‘all set? okay! go on in! happy hunting!’

omg you were slightly regretting it already

kyotani refused to not be away from you so he was holding your hand while yahaba remained clutching you

the third years wanted to appear all tough so they took the lead but oikawa was screeching and screaming at the littlest things which caused makki to scream and mattsun to also scream and then iwa and everyone else

it was like a screaming train

you even heard kyo gasp multiple times and you tightened your grip on his hand to assure him he was okay and you were right there

everything was going smoothly excused the screaming and everyone was actually having a little bit of fun since it was funny watching everyone scream at the littlest things

‘NOOO!!!!!!’

‘WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!’

the many rooms had the actors and dear god they should be emmy winning by how they just stared at you all and still sent shivers down your spines

then the unthinkable happened

the flashlight that iwaizumi was holding started to flicker and eventually died, leaving you all stranded in the pitch-dark

there wasnt even any light above you so everything was just black

everyone stopped, your breathing being paused and no one made a sound

‘RAAAA!’

someone from beside you shouted in your ear and you screamed so loudly and in instinct, everyone bolted forward with no direction on where to go

kunimi and kindaichi were holding each others hands and ran also dragging along watari since he was holding kunimi’s sleeve and also yahaba and you and kyo

‘IWA-CHAN!!!’

oikawa instinctively shouted and they all held on to each other

mattsun expected to catch ahold of watari’s hoodie since he was behind him but there was nothing but air

‘uh, you guys?’

he wished and prayed and hoped your voice would answer back but there was silence

‘oi! l/n y/n!’

he shouted and makki trembled in fear

‘iwaizumi? oikawa?’

‘h-huh!’

iwaizumi grunted and my goodness was this really happening

everything was going too smoothly that something bad happening shouldve been seen from the get-go!

the 4 third years were thankfully with each other since they were already huddled up at the front but their kouhais were nowhere near them

‘iwa-chan! what do we do!’

oikawa cried and iwaizumi hit him to keep him quiet

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘oi! stop fighting and think about this!’

mattsun quieted them down into shaking forms

‘the team is gone. theyre somewhere in this hospital and there’s a chance theyve strayed off the path’

makki shakily breathed

‘so what should we do?’

iwaizumi bit his lip to think of a plan

‘should we just go around and shout and scream for them?’

oikawa suggested but makki turned it down

‘no. that would ruin it for everyone else. we’re not the only ones in here’

oikawa blanched

‘i dont care about the other people! who knows what happened to y/n! i give no fck about strangers when she could be lost somewhere in this big ass hospital!’

they were stumped with no solutions so they just agreed to iwa’s suggestion

‘lets just hurry and get this over with and meet the people outside and get their help’

‘or! we can ask the staff in here, the actors, to help us! this is an accident’

‘you stupid or dumb? you think they would help us? its an us problem, not theirs, so theyre not going to abandon their post and look for them’

ltr maybe its the panic thats making them all crazy but they just settledon hurrying up and finishing the maze so they could get help

but the moment they turned to what seems to be a corner, they already managed to get themselves lost

iwaizumi felt around for the familiar texture of the rope which is supposed to be at his right but in the end, his hand reached nothing

‘fck!’

he shouted and scared the other 3

‘WHAT?!’

makki yelled

‘the rope. the rope’s not here anymore’

silence

then oikawa sobbed

‘oh my god im going to die’

he whimpered and makki sniffled

‘i wanna go home’

mattsun and iwa were the only at least stable ones and they finally resigned to defeat and grabbed their friends and walked to nowhere

on to your side!!

you and the others finally stopped running but the beating of your hearts still pumped at a fast speed

‘are we safe now?!’

kindaichi shouted and there was a chorus of confusion amongst the others

‘iwa-san?’

you checked and usually he would grunt but there was just silence

it was quiet and the familiar voice of oikawa was nowhere in sight

‘i dont know about you guys but my oikawa sensors just shut off’

yahaba pointed out and you gasped

‘where are they?’

kyotani refused to let go so you felt around with your left hand for the rope

to your relief, it was still there but the feeling of the missing boys outweighed it and made your anxiety levels spike up

‘should we call them? lets call them’

yahaba started but kyotani bonked his head

‘baka. they took our phones earlier’

the reminder of the confiscated form of communication meant that there was no other way you could contact the others

panic bubbled over kindaichi watari and yahaba while you kunimi and kyotani were busy thinking of something

‘i think theyve strayed off. if they didn’t, they wouldve heard us from up there’

kunimi mumbled

‘but where else could they have gone to?’

you asked and kyotani huffed beside you

‘we cant see anything. hell, i cant even see you. obviously theres probably a hallway they ran down to without even knowing they went there’

‘so youre saying theyre lost? without any way to contact us? what do we do?’

you whimpered, finally realizing and the idea of the others being gone settling in

‘this is all my fault. i shouldnt have dragged you here. i made a mistake-’

‘hey, dont freak out. im right here’

even though you couldnt see him, kenta maneuvered his way to cup your face and you felt his forehead press against yours and his nose nuzzling your cheek

the smell of cherry blossoms and vanilla with the slightest hint of sandalwood

kyotani’s scent comforted you and you were able to calm down 

‘we’ll figure this out. its okay, you got me’

he whispered and you nodded 

‘youre right here. we’ll be okay, okay?’

you giggled a little bit at the repitition of the word but smiled when he pulled you close to his chest

ugh i mightve already written a kyo route but that doesnt stop me from putting in kyo moments :”)

the other 4 were figuring out a plan that was eerily similar to the 3rd years

‘lets just finish this and ask the staff for help later’

they all agreed to kunimi’s idea and hurriedly gripped the rope to start going back to the path

you were in between kindaichi and kyotani with the former in front and the latter behind you

‘im right here. you got this’

kyotani would occasionally whisper and you were so grateful to have someone to be there

then the lights flickered and your eyes caught sight of something down the hallway to your left and you noticed a shadow 

a shadow of a tall figure that was kinda familiar

‘y/n-chan~’

you flinched and the voice of your blocker filled your ears

‘mattsun-san?’

you were too focused on the voice to hear the others questions of what was happening

‘over here, y/n-chan~’

there it was again

‘mattsun-san!’

you shouted and bolted to the hallway where you were sure the voice was at and you were ignoring the shouts of the others and kyotani hurriedly ran after you

‘mattsun-san!’

you shouted again and you ended up at the hallway, with the lights still flickering but there was no one

kyotani panted as he caught up to you before snatching your hand

‘oi! dont run off like that!’

it seems the others were too scared to let go of the rope that they were fine if kyotani went after you bc he was strong so he could protect you both if needed

right?

kyotani is a bark bark woof woof boy not a priest

you felt his warm hand grip your again as if to signal that you werent running off alone again

‘i heard him i swea-’

‘to your left, y/n-chan~’

ok ngl im getting chills writing this

the flickering lights allowed you to see the shadow again and yep there it was

it was at the end of the hallway to your left and once you turned and saw it, it ran to the right

‘mattsun-san! wait!’

as you were going to run, kyotani refused to let you go

he placed strong hands to your shoulders and you looked up at him, your eyes manic

‘listen to me, y/n. youre hearing things’

he firmly said

‘i dont hear matsukawa or anyone’

you started breathing heavily, the air seemingly getting colder and thinner

‘you dont understand! he was right there! his shadow-!’

‘let her play a game, boy!’

matsukawa’s voice this time took a harsh tone and even kyotani jumped, holding you to his chest protectively

‘oi! matsukawa! its not funny anymore!’

your eyes looked over kyo’s shoulder and you saw the shadow again from behind him

‘please trust me, kyo! hm?’

you begged and he sighed

‘im holding on to you. im not letting you go again’

this wouldve been romantic if you werent in an actual paranormal story

you chased after the ghost and it would occasionally whisper in your ear to keep your attention until you ran into a pitch-black hallway

‘what do we do now, y/n?’

kyo whispered and you trembled

‘mattsun-san!’

you weakly cried, knowing there was a strong possibility he wouldnt answer back

but a loud screech from the far right brought hope into you

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

is that-

‘oikawa-san?!’

you shrieked and there was a trample of footsteps running over to you and naturally, kyotani pulled you behind him

then a hand made you shriek 

‘relax. its just me, y/n-chan’

mattsun’s voice sounded clearer this time since he was right beside you and you hugged him

‘come on. everyone hold hands so that no one will get lost. we’ll take about this later’

iwa commanded and as the true leader of the gang, everyone followed his lead

there was a red sign with the most amazing word on top of it

‘EXIT’

it looked like a door that was only meant for staff but at this point, you all were desperate to just leave

as you reached the handle, the voice came back

‘aw~ leaving so soon?’

you turned around, halting mattsun and kyotani as they held your hands and felt you stop

‘show yourself. i know you’re not mattsun-san so stop using his voice’

you demanded and you turned, feeling a chilly air rush behind you

‘boo~’

it whispered to your ear and you eyes widened at the sight from further down the hallway

you could make out a mass of a body and at the top, there was bright red eyes and white teeth smiling menacingly

‘oh my god’

you whispered and the boys saw exactly what you were seeing

‘what is that’

oikawa whimpered

its mouth obviously moved as it spoke

‘are you leaving me, y/n-chan? so cruel~’

its voice was sickly sweet and sounded like a teenage boy’s but was so mean and hate-filled

you started sobbing and oikawa turned the door to run but it stayed put and didnt budge

‘you were so fun to play with~ are your friends fun too~?’

it looked like it was coming closer with a hand outstretched and you started shivering and your voice ripped into a scream

‘stop! go away!’

iwa mustered all his strength and ran against the metal door but it opened on its own, leaving the boy to land on the grass from outside

you were pulled by the others before it could touch you and you were already hysterically crying before the first and second years ran over and engulfed you to a hug

you were being hushed by the them and you tightly held on to someone’s arms

‘sshhh its okay, we’re right here’

you reduced to hiccups before looking around

‘w-where’s the other people?’

you asked, taking notice of the empty field

‘are we at the back?’

the boys shared a confused look

‘huh? what are you talking about, y/n?’

you looked at yahaba like he was crazy

‘the other people! the other people wanting to go in! and the doorguy! the haunted event! the haunted house!’

their eyes flickered everywhere to try and make sense of what you were saying but in the end resulted to just pure confusion and fear

‘y/n, we’re not at some event’

iwa started and your eyes widened

‘w-what?’

makki shakingly placed a hand on your shoulder

‘y/n, you dragged us here to go ghost-hunting. and there’s no doorguy’

your eyes flickered down as your mind tried to wrap itself with what was going on

‘what do you mean? i took you here for a haunted attraction! the doorguy took our phones and locked them in a locker, remember?’

you wildly waved your arms around but they still didnt understand

‘and the flashlight! and the rope! w-we had to hold on to the rope! the rope made sure we didnt stray off the path! bu-but the flashlight! the flashlight died!’

kunimi noticed the beginning of a panic attack so he pulled you close to him and made sure you could feel his heartbeat

‘listen to me, y/n. you took us here because we all lost a bet with you and this was what you wanted since its halloween and we trespassed to go here and there was no doorguy who took our phones because all our phones died the moment we got here and we saw a rope hanging from the ceiling and we had no flashlight in the first place’

he whispered to your ear and you pushed away from him, curling your arms around yourself

‘no! what bet?! i took you here for bonding time for our volleyball team! you were getting busy for inter high so i figured this could help you have fun!’

now that took the cake

‘what volleyball team?’

your eyes finally settled on your ‘captain’

‘what do you mean, ‘what volleyball team’, oikawa-san?’

totally disregarding the fact that you just called him by his last name instead of his first, he focused on what you were talking about

‘if you wanted to bond with the volleyball team, then you brought the wrong sport team over then’

oikawa scoffed, feeling rage bubbling inside him at the familiar players of the volleyball team

‘you shouldve brought over nagisa and rin and them, then, y/n’

makki bitterly mumbled and you were just so exhausted and tired and confused

‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT’

you bursted and started crying which ofc prompted the others to calm down and focus on you

‘y/n, love, we’re the swimming team, not the little ball playing game’

mattsun reminded and you shook your head, disbelief and utter fear present in your face

‘then-then! oikawa-san! give me your right knee!’

you ran over and he questioningly raised his leg

‘uhh,, what are you doing, y/n?’

kunimi asked but you waved him off, determination in your eyes

‘this should prove hes a volleyball player’

then you punched it really hard which resulted with a sickening pop

oikawa screamed

a/n: idk if the concept is clear enough but uwu send in a guess and ill answer if you got it right

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch50- I Got My Second Chance Right Here

Intro: After talking with Scott, Steve and Katie find themselves facing the possibility that there may be a way to undo Thanos’ actions and bring everyone they lost back. Only Tony isn’t on board with the idea and once more Katie finds herself in the middle of the two most important men in her life...

Warnings: Bad Language words

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: As always, huge shout out to my reposting partner- @angrybirdcr​

Chapter 49​

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Man am I glad to see you.” Scott clasped Steve’s hand in his as soon as the gate was open, pumping it up and down furiously.

“We thought you’d been snapped.” Steve took a deep breath, frowning as he looked the man up and down. “You are really here right? This isn’t’ some kind of weird mind trick or…” “Yeah, I am now. I mean, not that I wasn’t, but well, no I kinda wasn’t.” Scott took a deep breath. “It’s really hard to explain but…”

“Well we got time to listen.” Steve smiled, reassuringly “Come on.”

Scott nodded, fired up his van and drove through the gates whilst Steve locked them again, before he climbed in his car, spun it round and drove, Scott following, round to the parking area. Steve led Scott through the facility and into the room they had been sat in where Katie was settling Jamie on the sofa at the other end of the room.

“You stay here, okay?” Katie smoothed Jamie’s hair softly with her hand. He nodded and pulled on his headphones, tablet clamped in his hand as he began to watch Dumbo for what must have been the nine-hundredth time. Casting one more look at him over her shoulder, Katie walked over to where Steve and Natasha were stood, watching a very distressed Scott pacing in front of them, mumbling to himself.

Steve and Natasha shared a look, before Steve looked to his wife and she nodded her head in Scott’s direction, encouraging him to open the dialogue.

“Scott?” Steve spoke.“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine” Scott said in a tone that indicated he was anything but. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it again, before he pressed his fingers into his eye sockets clearly struggling with what it was he needed to say. Eventually he took a deep breath and looked around the room.  "Have you ever studied quantum physics?”

Katie shook her head, as did Steve.

"Only to make conversation,” Natasha shrugged.

Scott pointed to Natasha. “Alright, so, five years ago, right before…Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm. The Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe. To get in there, you have to be incredibly small. Hope, she’s my… she was my…” He took a deep breath, struggling to quell the emotion that was brewing in his voice. “And then Thanos happened, and I got stuck in there.”

“I’m sorry.” Katie shook her head, sympathetically. “That must have been a very long five years

"Yeah, but that’s just it. It wasn’t. For me it was five hours.”

Steve frowned. 

“See, the rules of the Quantum Realm aren’t like they are up here. Everything’s unpredictable.” Scott continued as Steve looked from Katie to Natasha, both of them wearing expressions which were a cross between curiosity and contemplation.

“Is that anybody’s sandwich?” Scott asked, pointing at the plate on the table “I’m starving.” As he strode over to pick up the remainder of Nat’s peanut butter sandwich, Steve shook his head slightly, still not understanding what this had to do with anything.

"Scott, what are you talking about?” he asked, prompting him to get back on track.

“What I’m saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm.” Scott spoke trough a mouthful of peanut butter and bread before he hastily swallowed “The only problem is right now, we don’t have a way to navigate it. But what if we did?”

He began to pace again and Katie cocked her head to the side slightly, watching him as he gestured wildly with the hand holding the peanut butter sandwich.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. What if we could somehow control the chaos, and we could navigate it? What if there was a way that we could enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time but then exit at another point in time? Like…” He paused taking a breath as he looked at the 3 faces in front of him. “Like before Thanos.”

"Wait.” Katie held up a hand to stop him, her voice laced with scepticism. “Are you talking about a time machine?”

“No. No of course not. No, not a time machine, it’s more like a…” Scott trailed off and looked down before he shrugged. “Yeah like a time machine.”

Steve took a deep breath and shared a glance with Katie, both of them raising an eyebrow. Steve let out a small sigh as he had been hoping Scott had something that they could actually use.

“I know, it’s crazy, but I can’t stop thinking about it. There’s gotta be some way. There’s got to be some-” Scott looked at Steve’s face and sighed. “It’s crazy..I know, yeah…”

"Scott,” Natasha cut him off, “I get emails from a raccoon. Nothing sounds crazy anymore.”

Steve looked at her and had to concede maybe she had a point. The things they had seen over the past eleven years, none of it he would have ever believed possible. So who was to say this wasn’t? But time travel? Really? Was he stood there, actually thinking it could be a possibility?

“So who do we talk to about this?” Scott asked, looking between the three people stood in front of him.

Natasha looked at Katie meaningfully and she shook her head, instantly understanding.

“Uh-uh. He’s done with all this, there’s no way he’ll help.”

“Who?” Scott asked.

“My brother.”

“We should at least try.” Natasha implored, her eyes bright at the possibility that there could be a way to undo everything. Katie really wanted to feel the same level of excitement but all she could feel at that point was a horrible sense of foreboding. And she had no idea why.

“Nat’s right.” Steve looked to Katie. “We should talk to him.”  

Before Katie could respond she saw out of the corner of her eye that Jamie was sliding off the sofa and walking towards them. Scott who hadn’t noticed the small boy up until that point gave a start of surprise before he watched him hurry over to Katie.

“Momma.” He asked and she crouched down next to him.

“You okay?”

“When’s dinner?”

“I’m gonna make it soon, sorry baby.” She kissed his cheek as she picked him up, turning back to Scott. “Jamie this is momma, daddy and Auntie Nat-Nat’s friend, Scott. Wanna say hello?”

Jamie looked over, smiling, not a shy bone in his body, as he waved his little hand. “Hi Scott.”  

“This…you…” Scott was looking between Katie and Steve and Steve gave him a small smile. “Wow, that’s great. It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.” Jamie held out his hand for a hi-five and Scott let out a laugh, obliging. “So, you guys just got the one, or…”

“No, we also have an older daughter.” Steve smiled, as he watched Jamie in his wife’s arms.

“Older?”

“She’s adopted.” Katie explained. “Currently away with friends.”

Scott nodded, swallowing a little as his gaze dropped to the floor. The room fell into silence and Katie took a deep breath.

“I’m gonna go make dinner.” She smiled, before looking at Scott then to Natasha.“See if we can do better than a peanut butter sandwich.” “Scott, why don’t you go with Natasha and she can fill you in on anything you need to know.” Steve offered. “And vice versa of course.”

“Okay.”

Natasha gestured with her head for Scott to follow her as Katie placed Jamie on the floor and looked up at Steve.

“Do you really think there’s anything in this?” Steve sighed. “I dunno, Sweetheart. I mean it sounds crazy, a time machine, but then so does a mad man wiping out fifty percent of all living creatures on the planet with a click of his fingers thanks to some cosmic stones.”

“Just promise me something.” Katie looked at him, “if Tony refuses to help, you won’t go kicking off and falling out again. Because if he does say no, he has his reasons for doing so.” “I promise.” Steve assured her.

Satisfied, Katie smiled and looked down at Jamie. “Wanna come help me make dinner or go with Daddy and talk to Scott and Auntie Nat-Nat.” Jamie pondered and Steve smiled at his face. The three year old was torn, and Steve knew why. Part of him wanted to go and talk to his Auntie and the new man he had met a few minutes ago because he was naturally inquisitive, or a “nosey parker” as Emmy called him. But the other part of him knew that if he went to help his Mom he’d be getting sneaky little tit-bits along the way.

Eventually, the curiosity part won out and he grabbed Steve’s hand. “I go with you Daddy.” Katie rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Traitor.”

Jamie grinned as Steve picked him up, leaning over in his Father’s arms to place a sloppy kiss on Katie’s cheek.

“Love you Momma.” He beamed as Steve smiled at his wife. She stuck her tongue out at her son making him giggle and do the same, then she picked up the bag off the table and headed down to the kitchen.

******

Tony smiled headed out of the house and across the lawn towards Morgan’s little tent. He clapped his hands along to a well-known famous beat.

“Chow time! Morgoona.”

No answer. Tony rolled his eyes, it was just like dad trying to deal with Katie when she had been that age. She’d ignore everyone unless she decided paying attention was of any benefit, well, almost everyone. She’d always come running when it was him who called. Something Tony had always been secretly smug about.  

He sat on the small chair by the side of the tent and looked around him, taking in the gentle breeze coming off the lake.

“Morgan H Stark, you want some lunch?”

“Define lunch or be disintegrated.” She spoke, her voice slightly distorted as she emerged from the tent and he felt his breath catch. She was wearing the silver and blue helmet that belonged to the suit he had been working on in the garage, and she had the play Iron-Man glove that he had made sets of for her and Jamie on her hand, holding it up as if firing a repulsor beam.  

“You should not be wearing that, okay? That is part of a special anniversary gift I’m making for Mom.” He pressed a kiss to the side of the helmet before he took it off. His daughter’s face emerged, smiling mischievously.

“Okay.” She grinned as Tony brushed the hair back off her face and smoothed down the fly-away strands that had risen up.

“There you go. Are you thinking about lunch? I can give you a handful of crickets on a bed of lettuce.”

“No.” Morgan giggled

“That’s what you want.” He teased before he glanced at the helmet in his hand. “How did you find this?”

“The garage” She said simply, as if it was obvious. Which in fairness, it was, because that’s where he had left it.

“Really?” Tony looked at her, narrowing his eyes slightly in suspicion. “Were you looking for it?”

“No.” She said, but the look on her face that told Tony she had totally been looking for it. “I found it, though.”

“You like going to the garage, huh? So does daddy” Tony stood, picking her up in one arm, the helmet still held in the other, heading to the house. He glanced down at it again and chuckled to himself. “It’s fine, actually. Your mom never wears anything I buy her.”

He had just reached the top of the steps to the porch when his attention was caught by the sound of a car heading up the drive. He turned round to see Kiddo’s grey Audi pulling to a stop a few meters away. He paused for a moment, because he hadn’t been expecting them, but then he smiled and waved before he frowned a little. There were other people in the back seat of the car, but he couldn’t quite make out who.

Katie was out of the car first, opening one of the back doors and Jamie barrelled out of the vehicle, running over to his Uncle.

“Uncle Nee!” He called gleefully as he ran up the steps to the porch. 

“Hey!” Tony placed Morgan down and bent to give his nephew’s head a kiss. “I wasn’t expecting to see you guys to-“

He trailed off as he caught sight of exactly who it had been in the back. Natasha raised her head in a greeting which he returned and he then glanced at the man, Scott Lang, who he had last seen in The Raft

A man who had been snapped was now stood on his driveway. 

What the fuck was going on?

“Morgan,” Tony looked down, “take Jamie inside will you? Tell your mom we have visitors, I’ll be in in a moment.” “Okay.” Morgan said, and Jamie took her hand, the two of them heading off round the porch.

“Hey.” Katie greeted her brother as she walked up the steps. “Sorry to spring this on you but…”

He gave her a hug and when she stepped back he looked over her shoulder.  “S’Up Lang? Thought you got turned to dust?”

Steve winced slightly at Tony’s blasé tone, but he could tell from his brother-in-law’s face, he was anything but. His eyes were burning with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

“It’s a really, really long story.” Scott nodded as he rounded the car, looking at Tony

“Which is why we’re here.” Steve slipped his hands into his pockets as he stopped at the porch steps. “Tony, there might be a way we can bring everyone back.” Tony took a deep breath. Five years. Five years it had been and still they couldn’t simply let things lie. Did he want to get involved? No, absolutely not. But he should at least hear them out, right? It could be simple. Maybe not dangerous, either. Maybe.

He looked at his sister and she shrugged, and he could tell by her expression she was torn. Probably from the same fears he had.

“Take a seat.” He gestured to the chairs and sofa on the porch area. “I’ll grab us a drink.”

Katie looked at Steve and jerked her head towards the house and Steve nodded, understanding she was going with him. She followed Tony inside and greeted Pepper who had seen the gang outside the house.

“What the hell?” Tony frowned and Katie sighed.

“He turned up at the compound last night. Apparently he was in something called the Quantum Realm when the Snap happened. He re-emerged a few days ago and drove over.” Katie bit her lip. “The thing is Tony, for him it was a matter of hours not years.”

Tony took a deep breath and reached into the fridge for the tall jug of iced coffee and placed it on the counter before pouring in a generous helping of vanilla syrup. Still without a word being spoke he pulled five glass tumblers from the cabinet, and handed them to his sister. “We’ll be outside.” He said, giving Pepper a kiss. “How many should I expect for lunch?” She asked, giving him a small smile “Set it for eight.” He shrugged, walking away. “I’ll decide whether they can stay or not after I’ve heard what hair-brained scheme Rogers has come up with this time.”

Katie rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. “In his defence, this isn’t his idea.”

“No but I bet it was to come here.”

“Wrong again.” Katie arched an eyebrow as Tony opened the door. “That one’s on Nat.” “Pain in my ass.” he mumbled, as he walked back to the porch. 

He placed the jug down on the small coffee table and plonked into a chair to the right of it, looking up at Steve who was leaning against the wooden rails of the porch, Nat to his right. 

“Alright,” He watched as Scott sat in the chair at the other side of the small table, Katie leaning up against the side of the house. “Explain.”  

So Scott did. About where he had been, how long for, and his theory about how they could, potentially, use the Quantum Realm to navigate time. Tony listened, and for the most Steve was surprised to see the man’s face was passive, no sarcastic quirk of the eyebrow or quip. Nothing. Instead, he reached over and began pouring the drinks into the glasses.

“Now, we know what it sounds like.” Scott stammered out before Steve cut him off, keen to understand what was going on in the Inventor’s head.

“Tony, after everything you’ve seen, is anything like this really possible?”

Tony looked up from pouring the drinks, handing one to Katie who smiled a thanks to him.

“Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck scale, which then triggers the Deutsch proposition, can we agree on that?”

Scott, Steve and Natasha all looked blankly back at him. Steve had no idea what he was talking about but he saw Katie out of the corner of her eye stiffen slightly.

“As in David Deutsch?” She asked. “The Fabric of Reality?”

Tony nodded before he handed Steve a glass. “Thank-you.” Steve said, he quite liked Tony’s iced coffee, he had certainly drunk enough of it whilst sat in the spot that Scott now occupied over the past few years.

"In layman’s terms, it means you’re not coming home.” Tony finished, and Steve let out a sigh.

“I did.” Scott said almost immediately.

“No, you accidentally survived. It’s a billion to one cosmic fluke.” Tony shook his head, his voice even “And now you want to pull off a, what do you call it?”

Scott shrugged, searching for a term to describe what he had been thinking of doing. “A…time…heist?”

“Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn’t we think of this before?” Tony asked, looking up at Steve “Oh, because it’s laughable? Because it’s a pipedream.”

"The stones are in the past.”  Steve spoke softly. The fact that Tony hadn’t dismissed the fact that it was a possibility to time travel was spurring him on, there had to be a way they could do this safely, Scott was living proof of that. “We could go back and we could get them.”

“We can snap our own fingers. We can bring everybody back.” Natasha added.

“Or screw it up worse than he already has.” Tony instantly replied.

“I don’t think we would.” Steve shook his head.

“Got to say, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism.” Tony shot, and Steve took a deep breath, raising his eyebrows. “However, high hopes won’t help if there’s no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist.” Tony leaned back further in his chair. “I believe the most likely outcome will be our collective demise.”

Natasha walked from where she had been stood leaning against the wall of the house besides Katie to the rails of the porch, looking out over the grounds for a moment as Scott spoke again.

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel.” He said, almost eagerly, “No talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Scott.” Tony raised his hand and leaned forward. “Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back to the Future?”

“No?” Scott said, embarrassment flooding his tone.

“Good you had me worried there, because that’s not how quantum physics works.”

“Tony, we have to take a stand.”  Natasha spoke, turning to face him, her voice sad, almost pleading. Katie watched her for a second, before she looked to her brother. Tony stared up at Nat, almost apologetically but Katie could see his mind was made up, and his answer was just what she had suspected it would be.

“We did stand.” Tony’s voice was soft “And yet, here we are.”

“I know you got a lot on the line,” Scott spoke again, “you got a wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did.” His voice began to gather pace and volume as he tried to sell his desperation to Tony “We have a chance to bring her back, bring everyone back. And you’re telling me you won’t even-”

“That’s right Scott. I won’t even. I got a kid.” Tony cut him off with absolute irrevocability as Scott stared at him in disbelief.

Steve took a deep breath and glanced at Katie, who had remained silent pretty much all through the discussions. She was looking down at her hands, twisting her engagement ring around her finger, the way she always did when she was worried or thinking. But before he could say anything, the door to the house opened and two sets of small footsteps clattered across the wood. Morgan ran up to Tony, who picked her up as she placed her arms round his neck and Jamie ran to his mother, who swept him up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Mommy told us to come save you.” Morgan said to her dad. Katie gave a soft chuckle as Tony looked at her, grinning.

"Good job. I’m saved.” Tony told his daughter as he gave her head a kiss before he stood up, Morgan in his arms. He turned to look at Steve, Nat and Scott. “I wish you’d come here to ask me something else. Anything else.” He sighed, before looking directly at Nat. “Honestly, I missed you.” She gave a small smile as he turned to head to the house. “Oh, and the table’s set for eight-“

As he went to pass by Steve, the Soldier gently stopped him with a hand on his arm and Katie watched, Jamie perched on her hip, his small hand playing with the diamond studded star shaped necklace she wore, a gift from Steve many Christmases ago.

"Tony, I get it, I really do, but this, this is a second chance.”

“I got my second chance right here, Cap.” Tony looked at his brother-in-law before he nodded over to where Katie was stood holding Jamie. “You did too. And I can’t roll the dice again, and frankly neither should you.”

Steve took a deep breath, bristling slightly. Was Tony seriously implying that he thought he was going to gamble with his kids’ lives? That was the whole point of them coming to talk to him, so that they didn’t do anything that would jeopardise what they had.

“If you don’t talk shop, you can stay for lunch.” Tony headed towards the door.

“I think we should be getting back.” Steve spoke, his words coming out a little harsher than he had meant. Tony turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged, before heading into the house. Katie watched her brother go and then turned to Steve as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked at her and she stared straight back, her face stony. She’d warned him how this would turn out and he’d promised her he wouldn’t get mad at Tony. And whilst he hadn’t got mad per-se, he had to concede that his last comment had been said with a bit of a shitty tone.

“Momma?” Jamie spoke and Katie’s attention turned to her son. “I want lunch. Auntie Pepper was making meatballs.” “Your favourite?” Katie smiled at her son “Wow!”

Jamie giggled and Katie turned back to her husband “You go, we’re gonna stay.” Her statement was accompanied with a look to say that this wasn’t up for negotiation so Steve took a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay, give me a call and I’ll come get you later.” He dropped a kiss to her cheek, before he did the same to his son and then gestured for Scott and Natasha to follow him back to the car.

“He’s scared.” Natasha turned to Steve once they were clear of the porch steps.

“Well, he’s not wrong."  Steve sighed because, despite his disappointment, he understood Tony’s fear and reticence, he really did because he felt it too. They couldn’t do anything that would undo the events of the past five years. But there had to be a way to make sure they didn’t. He looked back at the house where he could just see Katie was stood inside the kitchen, smiling at Pepper.

"Yeah, but I mean what are we gonna do?” Scott asked, his tone desperate again. “We need him, are we gonna stop?”

“No, but I wanna do it right,” Steve said thoughtfully, as an idea suddenly came to him. He opened the driver’s side door and glanced over at Natasha “We’re gonna need a really big brain.”

"Bigger than his?” Scott asked incredulously, pointing to Tony’s house.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow as she understood what Steve meant and she smiled gently before turning to Scott.

“Good job we know exactly where we can find one.”

****

Inside the house, Katie watched the car pull away before she turned and accepted the glass of wine Tony was offering.

“Lunchtime drinking?” She quirked an eyebrow and he shrugged.

“Figured you might need it after that, I do.”

Katie sighed and made her way over to the table, where Pepper was sat dishing out the food onto the kid’s plates.

“Fankoo Auntie Pep.” Jamie said, grinning and she beamed at him.

“You’re welcome, Sweetie.” They ate together, making general conversation about anything other than ‘time heists’ and two helpings of meatballs and spaghetti later, Jamie and Morgan asked if they could go outside to play. Tony headed out to supervise them whilst Katie helped Pepper clear the table before she went to find her brother.

“So we gonna talk about the elephant in the room, or on the lawn?” Tony asked, looking at her.

Katie shrugged. “That’s not why I stayed, Tone.” She sighed, her green eyes locking onto his. “You know, I told them you wouldn’t want to help.” “It isn’t a case of not wanting to, Kiddo.” He sighed. “I just can’t…”

“I get it.” She nodded with a sad smile. “There’s a lot at stake…”

"So why doesn’t Spangles see that?”

“He does. He just wants to see if there’s any possible way we can do it. You know, bring everyone back.” “And what about you?”

“Honestly?” Katie looked at Tony and shrugged. “If you told me there was a way we could do it, and not change anything out of the last five years I’d jump at the chance, because that’s what we do, we’re the A-vengers remember, not the Pre-vengers.”

“Used to be.” Tony corrected her with the glimmer of a smile.

“Well, I don’t remember quitting.” Katie looked at her brother. “We just kinda…stopped.” “Say there is.”  Tony sighed. “Say you suddenly find a way that guarantees that nothing from the last five years will change, and you do it. You pull off the Time Heist, reverse the snap…Kiddo, you open up a whole can of other worms. People have moved on in the past five years, and suddenly you’re bringing back husbands, wives, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers who were long gone and-”

“I know.” Katie cut him off, nodding. “It would be extremely naïve to think things could just simply go back to how they were. There would be a lot of other issues and shit to deal with, I get that, but at least everyone would be alive.”

Tony sighed “I can’t gamble on this.”  He gestured to the kids who were now playing

“Like I said Tony, I’m not trying to change your mind.” Katie shrugged. “And I won’t be gambling on anything either.”

******

It was getting late, and Steve still hadn’t heard from Katie. He was just about to give her a call when he heard the security system announcing the gate had been unlocked. Frowning, he made his way to the door, opening it to see Tony’s car pulling onto the driveway. He stopped not far from the door and Katie stepped out of the passenger seat.

“He’s fast asleep.” She nodded to the rear as Steve headed out to greet her, peering into the back of the car. He gave his wife a quick peck on the lips before he reached into the rear, and gently picked Jamie out of the back, the child only stirring long enough press his face into Steve’s shoulder, grabbing a handful of his sweater in his fist.

“Thanks Tony.” Katie leaned back into the car over the passenger seat to give her brother a kiss on the cheek.

“No problem, Kiddo.” As his sister stepped back, Tony hesitated for a moment and then climbed out of the car, looking over the roof at Steve who was heading back up the steps to the house.

“Cap.” He called. Steve stopped and turned to his brother-in-law. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”

Steve took a deep breath and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. We’re meeting Banner tomorrow.” “Banner?” Katie frowned.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded. “Nat called him before, he’s gonna hear us out. See if he can help.”

Tony remained silent, his mind whirring. “Just promise me one thing, please.” He sighed. “You can’t, the kids, I mean…”

Steve frowned. “Tony, if you think I’d gamble with our children’s lives, then you really don’t know me at all.”

“I guess not.” Tony’s mouth set into a thin line and at that point Katie shook her head.

“Stop it, please.” She sighed. “I can’t cope with you at each other’s throats, not again.”

Steve licked his lips and turned to his wife. “Sorry.”

“Just take Jamie inside, I’ll be with you in a moment.” She looked at him, Nodding, Steve turned and headed inside. Katie glared at her brother who held his hands up, palms open.

“Like I said before, I get why you’re scared, but Steve’s right. All we’re doing at the moment is gathering facts, maybe understanding what we’re looking at a little more. If by doing that we come to the conclusion that we can’t guarantee what we have isn’t safe then we stop.” Tony took a deep breath, before he nodded back to the house. “Just make sure he understands that.”

Before Katie could reply he hopped back in his car, reversed slightly before he spun round and headed off through the gates. Katie walked straight into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, grabbing a beer for Steve before she sat down at the table, head in her hands, she was exhausted.

The problem was, she could see this from both sides. Whilst the possibility of being able to bring everyone back was simply too good to not explore, the chance that they could lose either of their kids if something didn’t got to plan was enough to put the fear of God into her.  She looked up as Steve returned having settled Jamie in bed, and she slid the beer across the table to him as he sat in the seat next to her.

“You okay?”  He asked, and she looked at him.

“I’m scared Steve. Tony is right. We can’t risk what we have.”

“We won’t.”

“You don’t know that for sure, none of us do.” She sniffed, and Steve wasn’t surprised to see the tears in her eyes. “Tony before, when he talked about the Deutsch proposition, that was a reference to a guy called David Deutsch. He wrote a book called The Fabric of Reality and one of the chapters talks about how time travel would really work if it proves possible.”

Steve nodded, telling her to continue. He knew when she was on a roll explaining something like this he had to let her finish, plus he wanted to understand her concerns.

“His view of time travel is that if you went back in time and killed your Grandfather, say, you’d simply create an alternate universe and timeline in which you are not born. But the version of yourself that went back in time came from a different universe, so you wouldn’t suddenly cease to exist, like in Back To The Future or whatever, you’d still be there in that new universe.” “Okay, so, according to this Deutsch guy, Scott’s theory about simply not changing anything in the past isn’t quite right?” Steve frowned, thinking he understood. She smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, which to be fair is only what everyone believes because of films anyway. They depict time travel in a single universe. But, if you accept that there are actually many universes that are constantly branching off of one another, then…” She sighed.

“But surely that’s a good thing?” Steve implored. “Iwf hat you’re saying is that we can’t alter our future by changing the past then…” “What I’m saying is, that none of us know for sure.” She corrected, her voice almost a whisper. “And even if we successfully navigate the whole going back in time think, what if when we undo the Snap we jump back five years in our own time line and…”

She trailed off and Steve reached up to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen down her cheek. “Baby, look at me.”

She obliged, and he held her gaze. “Nothing scares me more than losing our kids, or you. Which is why we need to do this right. I get why Tony doesn’t want to help, he’s scared too, but….” he trailed off. “I’m doing this for Jamie, for Emmy. I want Emmy to be able to see all the things she knew before the snap, and Jamie to see things he never has.”

“Like whales in the Hudson?”

“Like whales in the Hudson.” Steve nodded with a smile. “Although I’d never seen that before either, but the point still remains. I want them to have the best possible life that we can give them.”

Katie looked at him, and sniffed. “You swear to me, right now, that the moment we start to see things going sideways, if we can’t be certain that we won’t impact anything that’s happened in the last five years, we stop.”

“Hand on heart, I swear to you.” Steve took her face in his hands, driving his message home “Kitten, I’d die before I let anything happen to any of you.”

“Yeah, that kinda worries me a little too.” She sniffed and he chuckled slightly, before dropping a soft kiss to her lips.

“Let’s see what Bruce has to say tomorrow.” Steve said gently, his thumbs skating over her cheekbones. “If he doesn’t believe we can control the outcome then, we give up. It was a stab in the dark, but nothing more.”

Katie nodded, and he pressed his lips to hers again, this time the kiss slightly deeper.

“I love you.” He moved his hands to lace into hers before he raised her left to his lips and placed a soft kiss over the top of her rings. 

*****

Bruce was already waiting for them at the diner the next morning. Scott’s shocked and puzzled reaction to seeing the Hulk-Sized Bruce Banner was understandable, after all it was the same reaction Katie, Steve and Natasha had all had when they had seen him like this for the first time a few months back. In fact, the only person that hadn’t batted an eyelid was Jamie.

“Hi Dr Brucie!” Jamie grinned, reaching over Katie to hi-five the man, Banner grinning a the boy’s nick name for him.

“You’re getting big, tiny person!” He boomed as the simply ridiculous amounts of food started to arrive. Brue wasn’t shy about digging in, and neither was Jamie, as always. Katie dished out some eggs, sausages and bacon onto his plate and poured him a small glass of the orange juice whilst, in turn, Steve poured her and Natasha some water.

“Come on, I feel like I’m the only one eating!” Bruce pushed a plate forward. “Apart from Jamie that is. Try some of that. Have some eggs.”

“I’m so confused.” Scott looked at Bruce, his face blank as he shook his head.

“These are confusing times.” Bruce nodded with a serious smile on his face.

“Right, no, no that’s not what I meant…”

“No, I get it I’m kidding.” Bruce grinned, dropping the act. “I know, it’s crazy! I’m wearing shirts now!”

“Yeah…wh…how, why?” Scott stuttered, his eyes wide as he looked at Bruce.

“Five years ago, we got our asses beaten. Except it was worse for me. Because I lost twice. First, Hulk lost, then Banner lost. Then, we all lost.”

“No one blamed you, Bruce.” Natasha said softly.

“I did.” Bruce stated simply “For years, I’ve been treating the Hulk like he’s some kind of disease, something to get rid of. But then I started looking at him as the cure. Eighteen months in a gamma lab. I put the brains and the brawn together. And now look at me. Best of both worlds…”

He was cut off by a group of three children, one of which tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Mr. Hulk?

"Yes?” Bruce asked, turning to face them.

“Can we get a photo?” the little girl beamed at him.

“100%, little person. Come on, step up.” Bruce said, taking the phone which was handed to him and leaning across Natasha to pass it to Scott. “You mind?

“Oh, yeah.” Scott shook himself out of his thoughts, accepting the phone.

“Thanks,” he said before he turned to the kids. “Say ‘green’!” “Greeeeen!” came the collective chant before Bruce looked at Scott “Did you get that?”

Scott leaned forward and held the phone out, before he gestured at himself, “Don’t you wanna grab one with me? I’m Ant-Man.”

Nothing.

Katie hastily picked up her glass of water and locked eyes with Natasha, the red head trying also not to laugh.

“It’s alright they’re Hulk fans, they don’t know Ant-Man. Nobody does.” Scott shook his head.

"Wait, no, no, he feels bad. No, he wants you to…he wants to.” Bruce looked at one of the boys “You want to take a picture with him, right?” The boy shook his had vigorously.

“He’s even saying 'no’ he doesn’t.” Scott snapped. “I get it. I don’t want it either.”

Katie looked at Steve who was now staring down at the glass of water in his hand, his fingers trailing round the top. He was getting frustrated, Katie could tell. She reached behind Jamie, who was nestled in-between his parents and gently gave his neck a soft tickle with her fingers and he looked at her, smiling softly.

“Just take the goddamn phone.” Scott called time on the ridiculous exchange that had been going on, and Steve took a long drink of his water.

“Thank you very much!” Banner called smiling “Hulk out!”

“Bruce.” Steve looked at him, deciding to bring him back to the subject in hand. Bruce ignored him.

“Dab!”  he grinned, making the action as the kids all laughed.

“Bruce.” Steve spoke this time again in his Captains voice, but to no avail. He rolled his eyes as the man continued.

“Listen to your mom. She knows better.”

“About what we were saying?” Steve tried once more as Bruce finally, and Katie suspected rather reluctantly, turned back to them.

“Right, the whole time travel do-over.” Bruce leaned back in his chair. “Guys, it’s outside my area of expertise.”

“Well, you pulled this off.” Natasha looked him up and down before she smiled.“I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible too.”

Bruce nodded slightly, before he took a deep breath.

“In suppose, in theory you could do it.” He scratched at his chin. “You could go back in time, get the stones and come back without changing anything that’s happened in the past five years.”

“How?” Katie looked at him, her arm dropping round Jamie’s shoulders as he continued to scribble on the colouring pad they’d brought for him.

“Well,” Bruce said, looking at her. “Thanos was already on his murder mission way before he got the stones. He harnessed their power and got them to work together to do exactly what he wanted.”

“So,” Steve looked at Bruce, “if we tell the stones what we want, exactly what we want…”

Bruce nodded. “Everyone comes home, and the past five years remain untouched.”

Katie and Steve looked at one another, before they glanced over the table and Scott and Natasha smiled.

Everyone comes home…

**** Chapter 51

 **Original Posting**

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 35

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Final Waystation chapter, yay!

Or: In which Leo and Calypso both make some progress.

A/N: OK, first of all, within these 3 weeks we have hit 3 pretty big milestones! 1) It was this fic's first anniversary this friday so hooray for that! Can't believe this story has been in my life so long already. 2) We've reached 7000 hits on ao3! It's crazy to think so many of you are reading this even though not all that many seem to like Caleo! And 3) We have also reached 90k words with this chapter! No, when I started planning this fic I definitely did not plan to make it over 100k words but that really seems to be the direction it's going to :'D I /do/ however hope that once we finally get the flatmates back to their flat, we are (slowly) starting our journey towards the 'final arc'. But how many words will that take? Only Apollo knows, I guess.

Alright, enough rambling! Now, enjoy and please, please, please, let me know what you think of this chapter (and the previous one if you haven't) because I /really/ do want to know what you think. Was it about time? Are these two being too sappy? And all that stuff!

Words: 4287

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After the whole ‘kitchen episode’ Leo and Calypso went back to spend some time with Leo’s family who were playing Monopoly in Waystation’s small library. Calypso had expected to be questioned about what had happened in the kitchen. To her surprise, though, Emmie just briefly asked if the flatmates had managed to resolve their issues, to which they answered a quick ‘yes’, and that was the end of that conversation. Even though Calypso was grateful that she or Jo hadn’t asked more, at the same time, one part of her did want to tell them.

Once a new round of Monopoly was finished (with Leo winning, even though the others kept whispering to him that he should let Georgina win), it was already pretty late and Leo and Calypso withdrew into their respective rooms. When it got quiet in the hallway, though, there was a knock on Calypso’s door.

“Who is it?” Calypso asked from her bed where she had been resting, thinking about the events of that day.

The voice from the other side of the door said: “Just me, Leo. Can I come in?”

“Sure, as long as you don’t do anything funny while in here,” Calypso replied, half joking, half serious.

“What, nothing funny? But Leo Valdez and fun go hand in hand,” he claimed through the door.

Calypso rolled her eyes at him even though he couldn’t see. “Ugh, you know what I mean. Listen, I know we are… um…” she stopped to taste the word in her mouth, “... dating now, but I have decided that I want to take it slowly. Too many bad experiences in the past. I hope you get that.”

“Alright, I understand,” Leo said to her relief. “Don’t worry, I won’t be trying anything ‘funny’ as you called it. I’m a man of my word!”

“In that case, you can come in here,” Calypso told him, sitting up on her bed.

Leo entered the room, still wearing the day clothes (surprisingly, jeans and a white shirt this time, and not his favorite overalls. While Calypso loved the overalls, she did have to admit that he looked pretty nice in the current outfit) even though it was already pretty late. Calypso herself had changed into her pajamas, a pink flannel shirt and pants that matched it. She followed Leo to a small couch opposite to her bed, sitting down next to him. At first she kept some space between them but after some hesitation and some encouraging looks from Leo, she finally snuggled up by his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her hand was laying on her pajama pants and he lowered his on it, tracing the outline with his thumb. Calypso was happy to notice he felt nicely warm on the cool winter night.

“I am glad we can do this now,” she said quietly, watching their hands.

“Me too. Although, we could probably have done it a whole lot earlier if we weren’t so damn stubborn,” Leo reminded her.

“Ouch. Yeah, that is probably true,” Calypso admitted, closing her eyes.

“So… it’s been a day,” Leo said when a silence fell between them. “It has…” Calypso agreed. “Weird how this morning seems to have happened like a year ago.” “Yeah…” Calypso shifted slightly on her spot by Leo’s side. “Can I ask you a question, though? How are you feeling now? You know… after… everything...”

“I… it’s hard to say,” Leo answered. “I’m not gonna claim that us kissing fixed all of my problems. Nah, it doesn’t work like that. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome but - woah, am I really saying this? - I think the opening up part was more important. It clarified some things in my head. You know, like what I want to do and what I should do. And the fact that you have experienced something similar… This is probably gonna sound awful, but I was kinda relieved to hear that. Don’t get me wrong; I wish that you wouldn’t have had to go through any of that, but since you have… it means we understand each other. I can trust that you won’t judge me, which I honestly can’t say about all the people.”

“Yeah.” Calypso nodded slightly, not removing her head from his shoulder. “I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

“And…” Leo continued, and Calypso imagined a grin spreading on his face, “Now I have some good memories to associate Christmas with. That definitely doesn’t hurt, right?”

“I’m glad I managed to give you something else to think about, then.” Calypso smiled.

“You certainly did. For real, I’ve had to pinch myself a couple of times this evening,” Leo confessed.

“Why?” Calypso frowned.

“Because it’s hard to believe it’s true. I mean this. Us.”

“And why is that?” Calypso wanted to know.

“Because you’re great in practically every possible way while I’m… me?”

Calypso raised her head from Leo’s shoulder and gave Leo her best ‘are you kidding me’ look. “Listen to me now. Aside from your guilt complex, you really should work on your self esteem some more. You’re a good person, Leo, even though you don’t always seem to think so. Of course you have your flaws just like I do, but I don’t love some superhuman version of you. Me from a few months ago is probably shaking her head so hard right now, but here’s what I think: you’re smart. And funny when you’re not trying to. And persistent. Hard-working. You make fixing things seem effortless. And you’re ready to put your loved ones’ happiness before yours. In fact, I think sometimes you care so much that it hurts you. But it only makes me care about you even more."

Leo was quiet for a while, probably still trying to swallow Calypso’s words.

“Woah, um… Thanks, Sunshine. I guess two people can really see the same thing very differently.”

“Yes, we can,” Calypso agreed. “I bet your view of me is also very different from how I see myself.”

“You’re probably right there.”

Calypso decided to change the topic when it got quiet. “Do you think that your family has any idea? About what happened between us?”

“I think we did our acting pretty well.” Leo grinned against her hair. “It’s pretty suspicious, though, that they didn’t ask us anything.”

“Well, better that way than trying to answer some awkward questions,” Calypso noted. “Um… I hope you know that I would really like to tell them about us, but… it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“I know. You just want to protect me, right? I would also want to protect you if I was in your situation.”

“Mmmmh.”

A comfortable silence fell between the couple. Calypso was happy to notice that Leo was so relaxed in her company that he didn’t even swing his legs back and forth like he often did. Eventually he spoke:

“Hey… you asked me how I am doing but what about you? I know I haven’t made this day easy for you…”

“I appreciate you asking. To be honest? I’m doing pretty well now. This night has been… unexpected, to say the least. I didn’t think I would be brave enough to get over my worries, but here we finally are. It’s a bit scary…” Calypso noticed Leo’s hand twitching slightly on hers, so she was quick to add: “... but like you said, also relieving. Don’t worry, I will be sticking to my word. There are no take backs now,” Calypso reassured him.

“Good.” Leo nodded.

“Hey... “ Calypso said when she spotted something on the nearby desk. “I, uh, know that we both have been really testing our boundaries today, but there’s something I would still like to try. That is, if that’s OK with you.”

“Alright. What is it?” Leo asked curiously.

“My mum always used to light up some candles by the windowsill on Christmas night when I was a kid. She said she did that in memory of those who weren’t there to celebrate with us anymore. That’s a tradition that’s stuck with me until now. Emmie put some candles over there…” Calypso nodded towards a desk by the window, “... earlier today, but I didn’t know how you would feel about me using them, so I didn’t. But… What do you say? You could take it as a part of your training.”

Leo didn’t seem to love the idea at first but finally he gave in.

“Alright. But just one. And it needs to be far from all the other objects.”

“Yes. Don’t worry, we both will keep a watchful eye on it.”

Calypso felt Leo’s eyes on her the whole time as she rose from the sofa and lit up the candle. He was seemingly relieved when she sat back down next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “You know all about the fire’s dangerous sides…” Calypso started with a calming tone, “... but it can be very useful too when used right. It can ruin, but it can also help to build new things. A lot of your precious machines wouldn’t exist without fire, right? Have you ever stopped to consider that?”

Leo frowned at her, taking her words in. “Are you trying to say that fire has many different sides to it, just like us people? But if we only choose to see the negative, we will never understand the positive sides?”

“Yes, basically. We are both very judgemental towards ourselves, but today was a good example that not everyone sees us the same way.”

“Yeah… You’re not wrong there… I’ll try to remember that.”

“Me too.”

Calypso noticed Leo glanced at the candle briefly before his eyes returned to her. He was still a little stiff but a lot less so than when Calypso had lit up the candle.

“I was thinking…” he said suddenly. “Since we are official now and all that… Should we, you know, do something together… you know, outside our flat… sometime? When this vacation is over?”

“You mean like a date?” Calypso asked, surprised by the chance of the topic. But then again, she figured it might have been his way to try to distract himself. “Hmmm, let me think…” Leo already looked a bit worried for a moment before she finally started smiling at him. “Alright. I suppose we can do that.”

“And will we resume our movie nights? And cooking sessions?” His eyes lit up almost like the candle on the desk.

“Of course, you weirdo. I don’t think I have any reason to avoid you anymore, now that you know…”

“Know what?” Leo grinned. “That you think Leo Valdez is pretty damn hot?”

Calypso knew that Leo was most likely expecting her to lash at him, so she decided to use a different kind of tactic. She gave him a flirtiest smile she could muster, and replied:

“Sure. Let me tell you a little secret: when you are wearing those overalls you always do, my heart feels like it’s doing somersaults in my chest…”

Leo blinked at her a couple of times as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Wait, what? What did you just say?”

Calypso snorted. “Just playing your own game, you know.”

“Oh, alright. I see now.” Leo’s ears went red, which amused Calypso a lot.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” she chirped at him, poking his cheek playfully.

“Har har.”

Calypso pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“I hope you know I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t 100% comfortable around you. I had already decided that I would not… I would not allow myself to go through what I already did several times before, but you just had to make me break my promise to myself.”

“And you know what?” Leo turned his head so they were eye to eye. “I’m not sorry at all that I made you do that.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Calypso rolled her eyes at him. They kept gazing at each other for a moment before Calypso’s urge to kiss her fool of a boyfriend got too strong. It was a light and gentle kiss, one that she hoped told him that she was happy to be where she was and also proud of him for being able to handle the flame of the candle.

“Whoa, what was that for?” Leo asked once Calypso had pulled away.

“Just to shut you up for a moment,” Calypso lied.

“Nah. You wouldn’t want me to do that,” Leo grinned at her knowingly.

“Alright. Maybe I wouldn’t. So keep talking,” Calypso encouraged him.

“Okay,” Leo obliged. “About what?”

“Anything, really. Something silly and light, Leo Valdez style.”

Leo seemed to think about Calypso’s request for a moment.

“Hey, have you heard about the time when Jason had a party at his father’s house without him knowing and Piper…”

Leo continued telling her silly stories about his friends (even though a few involved also Percy, that didn’t ruin Calypso’s mood). From that they moved onto other things, such as what an ideal date would be for each of them (their opinions differed less than expected, to Calypso’s surprise), the favorite place they had ever visited (Calypso remembered Malta and the nearby islands quite fondly), and how fast Georgina would build her 1000-piece puzzle. The time flew by as they talked and Calypso was surprised to notice at some point that it was almost 3 AM and the candle had gone out a long time ago without either of them noticing. Leo snuck back into his room as quietly as possible, but not without giving Calypso one last good night kiss in the dark hallway before they separated.

…

The Christmas break was coming to an end and it was Leo and Calypso’s last full day at Waystation. Calypso felt a little bitter sweet about it; on one hand the vacation had been a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally, but on the other hand everything had ended better than she had dared to expect. She knew that she and Leo still had plenty of work to do when it came to their communication skills and of course she was also worried something would go wrong – specifically, regarding her father – but it still felt so freeing to be able to tell what she really thought and to be able to love and be loved.

She would of course miss the people of Waystation. Georgina was adorable and seemed to have basically adopted Calypso as her big sister at this point. She enjoyed teaching things to the girl; baking, gardening, sewing, even a little bit of singing… She was also pretty quick-witted for someone of her age and Calypso was quite certain that she did know that something was going on between her and Leo no matter how hard they were trying to deny it. Leo’s mothers were also great people and they had already told Calypso that she was welcome to Waystation any time she wanted. They also mentioned that they didn’t mind if she kicked Leo’s butt a bit sometimes when he deserved it. She had thanked them and told them that she’d keep their advice in mind.

The final day didn’t go entirely without surprises. Emmie had quickly mentioned that they would be getting more dinner guests that day, but Calypso hadn’t been prepared for the entire Hunters of Artemis crew to show up. They were old acquaintances of Jo and Emmie, the group’s former coaches, and the older women still asked them to drop by whenever they were nearby. To Calypso’s surprise, when she heard about the visit, her instinct to flee was not quite as strong anymore as it had been when she had last seen Thalia and Reyna.

“Are you OK with this?” Leo asked after Emmie had gone back to greet the visitors. “I remember that you weren’t eager to talk to them at the Halloween party and now I understand why… If you wanna, like, go out and check the foster animals or something like that, we can do that.”

“I think… I think it’s time for me to face my past,” Calypso replied. “I can’t do that if I hide every time I see someone who used to know Zoë…”

“That’s a fair point,” Leo agreed. “But still, don’t push yourself too hard.”

Soon the couple was in the hallway where everyone had gathered.

“Oh, there you two are!” Jo exclaimed when she saw them. “I was already starting to wonder if you had gone back to your flat earlier than planned.”

“Oh, nah,” Leo denied, waving his hand nonchalantly. “We just had some things we needed to discuss.”

Jo looked at him suspiciously, probably wondering what exactly they had discussed. “Hmm. Well, it’s good that you seem to be on speaking terms again. Anyway, Calypso, I believe you haven’t met these people before, so say hello to the Hunters of Artemis. Thalia Grace…” She pointed at a young woman with dark, spiky hair, whom Calypso remembered from the Halloween party. “Reyna Ramírez-Arellano…” Another dark haired girl, with a long braid, however, nodded at Calypso. “And here’s…” Jo continued her introductions but the names simply went through her brain and didn’t stay there. Maybe it was the Leo influence, she wondered; she didn’t remember having issues with focusing earlier.

“Hi, all.” She tried to sound confident but she didn’t think she succeeded very well. Surely Reyna and Thalia remembered how she had spent a whole night trying to avoid talking to them, getting drunk and throwing up in Piper’s bathroom in the end. “Hello,” Reyna spoke first. “I believe I’ve seen you once before. At Jason’s place last month, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Calypso had to admit reluctantly. Well, at least she wasn’t drunk in a mythology themed costume right now, she thought, so she had a chance to give them a bit better picture of herself than earlier.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you properly now,” Reyna said and shook her hand.

“Likewise,” Calypso told her, although she still felt like she was not living up to the meaning of her name, ‘she who conceals’.

“And you probably saw Thalia at that party too. Jason’s sister. My… friend.” Reyna glanced at the other girl quickly when she said the word ‘friend’.

Calypso noticed the slight hesitation and remembered Leo and some others as well mention that the two girls most likely had something going on even though they had to hide it because of their status on their archery team. She knew better than to bring that up, though.

“Hello, Thalia. Yes, I remember seeing you there,” she replied, mainly to be polite.

Before anyone had time to say anything else, Jo told the group that the guests were free to explore the house or do anything they wanted while she and Emmie were finishing the dinner and setting the tables. Many of the Hunters headed back out to the yard to see the animals or do a little bit of exercising before the meal, but Reyna and Thalia had apparently spent their afternoon practicing so they needed a little down time. Leo asked Calypso if she would have preferred to go to help Emmie and Jo but she remained stubborn. If she couldn’t do this now, she didn’t know she would be able to do it, so she guided Leo to the living room where Reyna and Thalia had gone.

When Thalia heard they had entered the room, she turned towards them.

“We didn’t really get a chance to talk the last time I saw you,” she noted bluntly.

“Sorry about that; I was having a bit of a rough day back then, to be honest,” Calypso replied vaguely.

“To me it looked like you were having the most fun out of all of us,” Thalia said, but Reyna elbowed her in the ribs. “Hey!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Calypso sighed. “I wasn’t acting like myself that evening.”

“We all have those days…” Reyna reassured her.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Calypso shrugged.

“Someone mentioned that your last name is Astal,” Thalia noted when it got quiet again. “Is that true?”

“Yes, unfortunately it is,” Calypso replied, getting a bit anxious because she knew where this conversation was heading to. “Why do you ask?”

Her hand quickly reached for Leo’s, who was still standing next to her, and even though she couldn’t hold it in front of the others, feeling his fingers right next to hers felt reassuring.

“Because it’s probably not a very common last name, right?” Thalia inquired, “and we used to have someone on our team whose last name was Astal before she took her mother’s last name. Zoë Nightshade, does that ring any bells?”

“Yes. She was my older sister,” Calypso confirmed, feeling herself stiffen a bit.

“Oh… I’m so sorry… I mean, I heard what happened to her… Just horrible.” Thalia shook her head.

Calypso was struggling to find the right words, but Leo quickly tapped on her back with his fingers when the others didn't notice and that helped her to root herself. “I don’t think there are any words to describe it,” she mumbled. “Um, did you know my sister well?”

“Not as well as some others on our team, to be honest. I had only been on the team for a few months before we heard the news about the accident…” Thalia said. “But she seemed like such a great person. One of our most talented archers for sure, and really determined. She was always the first on the field and the last to leave.”

“That… that does sound like her,” Calypso smiled a bit sadly. “Did she… did she ever talk about her home life to you?”

“Not much.” Thalia shrugged. “A bit.”

“Oh… What did she say?” Calypso wanted to know.

“I did get the impression that she really hated her father. And her mother lived somewhere far, apparently? But she did mention her sisters every once in a while. Did she have any other younger siblings besides you?” Thalia asked.

“No, she didn’t. She was the second youngest and I am the youngest of the group. Big family… But is there a reason why you ask that?”

“You see, she did sometimes talk about her baby sister. I remember that she always wished she could do more for her because she thought her sister deserved better than what she… Wait, what’s wrong?” she stopped when she noticed Calypso’s reaction.

Even though Calypso had tried her best to stay calm, once she heard what Zoë had said about her, she couldn’t stop the tears anymore. Leo quickly stepped in front of her while she tried to recover and glared at Thalia angrily.

“Calypso was there when the accident happened,” he blurted. “Do you think she really wants to talk about her the whole time?”

“I thought she would be happy to hear that her sister respected her a lot,” Thalia attempted to defend herself.

“But…” Leo wanted to continue the debate but Calypso stopped him.

“No, Leo, it’s OK.” She put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not OK!” Leo exclaimed.

She took a deep breath and withdrew herself from Leo’s arms. “It is. I mean… It's not easy for me to talk about her, but it’s like I said earlier. I need to learn to live with this. Does it hurt? Yeah. But I’m also thankful for hearing her say that about me. She wished I could experience a better life than she did prior to her joining the Hunters. I hope that if she’s watching me right now… from wherever she is… she’s happy for me. Well… I’m not out of the woods yet, as you can surely see right now," she chuckled ironically, referring to her teary face, "but… you know. I’m getting there. I’m feeling better than I have in a long while. And that’s what counts.”

“I don’t know what your source of happiness is, but whatever it is, I’m sure she would be happy for you.” Thalia nodded approvingly.

“Some things are better kept secrets,” Calypso replied mysteriously, turning to Reyna. “Did you know my sister?”

“No, unfortunately not,” Reyna replied. “I joined this group only a couple of years ago. Thalia’s been on it way longer. But I’ve heard a lot of stories about her from some of our older teammates, and it sounded like she was someone everyone looked up to. Even our coach complimented her sometimes and she never compliments anyone unless for a very good reason.”

“It sounds like she was really enjoying her life and had great people around her before… you know. It’s… great. I saw how hard she fought to get out of our father’s grip and do what she really wanted. She was happy with you guys.” The evil side of Calypso’s brain wanted to add that ‘she was happy until I messed it up for her’. She considered the fact that she managed to call herself out before she said that sentence aloud as some kind of progress.

“Yeah. I really think she was,” Thalia reassured her.

Calypso gave her a small, sad smile. “Good.”

After that the group started talking about other things. Thalia told Calypso some stories about Jason. Reyna explained why she had decided to join the Hunters even though she had already been doing well on another team before that. Leo also contributed to the stories sometimes and at some point, Calypso noticed that she was feeling quite at ease with this group. Even though Zoë was still briefly mentioned on a few occasions, it didn’t bother her as much anymore. Some kind of lock had opened inside her and she didn’t plan to close it anymore.

[memxntomxri]

𝒫𝑜𝓅𝓅𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒫𝑒𝑜𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ʜᴏᴍᴇ

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - past!sawamura daichi x sugawara koushi, sawamura daichi x kuroo tetsurou

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 - angst

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤 - and now, in the aftermath, all koushi can smell is poppies and peonies, drowning him in their scent

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 - 2.1k

𝘵𝘸 - major character de@th, implied h0mophobia, hanahaki disease, no happy ending, break-up, sam misusing taylor swift songs, so much angst

𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 - this is the result of a lot of inspiration screaming in a Discord server. thanks emmy (Noisy_Emmy on ao3), lou (LouEve_094 on ao3) and lena 🤍 also like alskejfljlvkjlkwejkj taylor and daisuga angst together???

also daichi is horrible here but he isn't actually like that istg. i just needed him to be asshole-ish for maximum angst purposes. the timeline's also weird af but i gave up halfway through trying to make it logical lol.

song lyrics credit to august by our queen taylor swift!

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡���┈⋆

salt air and the rust on your door

I never needed anything more

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have seen the signs.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

When they met in first year, the first thing that Koushi had noticed had been Daichi's warm smile. It was reassuring and steadfast, like someone reaching out and telling Koushi "I'm here." And when they stood together on court, Koushi felt invincible, because Daichi was there, a silent pillar that pushed him up, up, upwards.

It was all too easy to fall. Daichi was reassuring, always there, attractive, kind, and before Koushi knew it, he was in love.

He kept it to himself at first, of course. Koushi didn't even know if Daichi swung his way. And, well, he was just... scared. Scared to lose the friendship they had built. Scared to lose their dynamic on the court. Scared to, ultimately, lose Daichi.

whispers of "are you sure?"

"never have i ever before"

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have never dived off that cliff.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

During summer break in their third year, after they had beat Shiratorizawa and were preparing to go to Nationals, Koushi dropped by Daichi's house often. It was natural, of course. They were "best friends", after all, even though one was hopelessly in love with the other.

Longing stares became lingering touches became staying over became-

"I really like you, Daichi."

"Mmhm."

A soft, tentative kiss.

"Are you sure about this, Suga?"

"Yes, Daichi. Stop being such a worrywart."

Foreheads pressed together.

"I'm sure about you."

Soft, soft enough that Koushi's ears don't pick up on it, "But I'm not sure about you."

but I can see us lost in the memory

august slipped away into a moment in time

'cause it was never mine

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have let go.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

They were happy together. It was like being best friends, but with kisses and cuddles and more. Koushi didn't know when he had ever been this happy. The memories were like gilded gold to him, things he never wanted to let go of. He was giddy every time he remembered that Daichi's soft smiles, fond in their demeanor, were for him.

Even if his eyes were a little distant at times.

and I can see us twisted in bedsheets

august sipped away like a bottle of wine

'cause you were never mine

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have known better.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

One night, when they were curled up together in Daichi's bedroom, AC whirring and a few cans of cheap beer left forgotten and discarded by Daichi's bed, sated and content, Koushi's tongue slipped.

"I love you, Daichi."

A sleepy murmur.

He didn't feel the man against his back stiffening.

"O-Oh, okay, Suga."

Even after all that they had done, he was still Suga, never Koushi.

Daichi was probably just shy.

If he had known that this would be the beginning of the end, Koushi would have never let himself be so careless.

your back, beneath the sun

wishing I could write my name on it

will you call when you’re back at school?

I remember thinking I had you

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have been more careful.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

When they returned to school, Daichi acted like everything was like it had been before summer break. Koushi was confused, but it was surely only Daichi trying to protect them. They still lived in the Japanese countryside, after all.

And it wasn’t as if Daichi stopped seeing him or anything! It was just… less time together. But they were third years trying to win Nationals, it was natural for this to happen.

but I can see us lost in the memory

august slipped away into a moment in time

‘cause it was never mine

and I can see us twisted in bedsheets

august sipped away like a bottle of wine

‘cause you were never mine

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have stood up for himself.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Quick makeout sessions in the clubroom, some heavy petting, a brush of pinkies against each other in the hallway - that was all that Koushi had left of the Daichi he had known in the summer.

A soft smile.

Undivided attention.

A warm embrace.

Oh, how he longed for them now.

back when we were still changing for the better

wanting was enough

for me it was enough

to live for the hope of it all

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have run.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Daichi was pulling away, but Koushi convinced himself that he wasn't. Sure, in the deepest, darkest parts of him, he knew that he was losing the dark-haired man, but Koushi forced himself to stay in the moment. Daichi was probably just stressed out from studying and the responsibility of being a captain, right?

After all, Koushi loved Daichi, and Daichi… well, even if Daichi didn’t exactly love him yet, he still cared for him. Deeply.

Right?

cancel plans just in case you’d call

and say “meet me behind the mall”

so much for summer love and saying “us”

‘cause you weren’t mine to lose

you weren’t mine to lose

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have seen the warning signs.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Koushi sat on the bench, fingers anxiously drumming on his thigh. He was in the park behind the mall they went to every Saturday together to get food and window shop. (Well, Koushi shopped, Daichi gave opinions.) Where was Daichi? Koushi had flaked on a family outing with his cousins who were visiting from Kanto so that they could spend time together, but Daichi was nowhere to be found.

Koushi checked his phone again. It was already 1PM, and his last sent text, left on read at 11:30AM, glared back at him.

Slowly, Koushi picked himself up from his seat. It was fine, something had probably just come up.

Three hours later, his phone pinged. Koushi lunged for the device, nearly knocking his desk lamp over.

Daichi 💗: hey suga, sorry for not making it.

No explanation, just a halfhearted apology.

Koushi set his phone back down.

but I can see us lost in the memory

august slipped away into a moment in time

‘cause it was never mine

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have never left his house that day.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Koushi skipped up Daichi’s driveway, intent on spending some time with him that afternoon. He knocked twice, face lighting up when Daichi opened the door, looking adorable in his casual clothes.

“O-oh, uh, Suga - what do you need?” He seemed nervous.

Koushi frowned. “Daichi, I sent you a text half an hour ago saying I was coming over. Did you not get it?”

“Oh, yeah - I-” Daichi mumbled.

Someone came up behind him, slinging an arm over his shoulders. It was the rooster-headed captain from Nekoma. Koushi’s frown deepened. Why was he here and why was he touching Daichi like that?

“Oh! Vice captain-san! Daichi didn’t mention you would be coming over!” he greeted.

Koushi’s heart stuttered. Of course. It all made sense. The stares that went on for a little too long, the lingering handshakes, the too-friendly competition. The only thing he was still confused about was where he fit into the entire thing. He bowed stiffly. “Kuroo-san. Um, Daichi…” he turned to him. “Can I talk with you for a bit?”

Daichi nodded, and he turned to Kuroo. “Just keep playing the movie, I’ll be back soon.”

He followed Koushi down the road, silence falling between the two who had always had something to laugh about together.

Koushi licked his lips nervously. “D-Did we ever mean anything?” he asked softly.

Daichi sighed. “We never were something, Suga.”

“W-what?” Koushi couldn’t find it himself to say anything else.

Daichi exhaled, long and low. “Suga, we were a fun distraction,” hairline fractures in his heart, “for a bit, but it was never something serious.”

Chips began flaking off.

“B-but I love you!” Emphatic and frantic, trying to make Daichi understand.

Another sigh, this one a little frustrated. “I don’t know what this is, but it isn’t love, Suga. You need to open your eyes.”

Koushi stopped in the middle of the road.

“So this is it, huh?” he said, his heart finally breaking into shattered fragments.

“Yeah. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” and with that, Daichi walked away.

The flowers came that night, red and pink, like the blood that stained them.

and I can see us twisted in bedsheets

august sipped away like a bottle of wine

‘cause you were never mine

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi should have guarded his heart better.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Koushi deteriorated fast.

Within a week, he could no longer play volleyball.

Within two, his mother had found out.

Within two and a half, he had refused the surgery, a legal adult now.

Koushi would not lose his ability to love, even if it killed him.

Within a month, he was in the hospital.

but do you remember?

remember when I pulled up and said "get in the car"

and then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?

back when I was living for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all

"meet me behind the mall"

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi’s last days were placid.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

The memories were painful to look back on, of course. But at the same time, Koushi recalled their moments together fondly. Even if it had ended in an inferno with his heart as collateral damage, his time with Daichi had also been the warmest sunlight.

He knew he was going to die. Everyone around him was confused as to why he didn’t just let them cut out the roots in his lungs, and along with them his ability to love, but they didn’t know what it felt like to be in love, rushing down the path, breathless, overjoyed, free.

Koushi would die before he let that feeling slip away from him, bittersweet as it was.

His flowers were poppies and peonies. Death, love and honor, he mused. Fitting, for his and Daichi’s story. Death was imminent, love was unrequited, and Daichi had turned out to be a man of dishonor, abandoning him.

Koushi supposed that Daichi would get what he “deserved” one day, too, even though his heart hurt for the man, still caring about the brunette even though he had stomped on his heart. He’d noticed how Kuroo looked at Nekoma’s setter, and he knew that like him, Daichi would only ever be a replacement.

It was heartbreakingly intriguing how fate came around back to itself.

remember when I pulled up and said "get in the car"

and then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?

back when I was living for the hope of it all

for the hope of it all

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi still had something to say.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was interrupted as the sound of the opening of his hospital door filled the room.

Daichi stepped through, and the fragments of Koushi’s heart skipped a little.

“Suga.” he greeted, seemingly uncomfortable. After all, what were you supposed to say to your ex-nothing who you were currently killing slowly, even if it was involuntary?

“Daichi.”

“U-um… How have you been?” he asked.

“As well as can be expected, I suppose.” Koushi replied wearily. Breathing had become a labor in and of itself, and he was having oxygen pumped into his failing lungs. “Why are you here?” he deadpanned.

Daichi at least had the wherewithal to look ashamed. “I came to apologize. I did you wrong, Suga. Please just get the surgery. You’re still my best friend-”

“Stop.” Koushi held a hand up weakly. “You broke my heart, Daichi. These are the consequences, and I’m not going to forgive you just to assuage your guilt. You can’t expect sorry to fix everything.” Daichi’s face revealed a storm of emotions.

Koushi sighed. “Please just go…” he mumbled quietly.

Daichi nodded, and as fast as he had arrived, he was gone.

Those were the last words Koushi ever spoke to anyone.

for the hope of it all,

for the hope of it all

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Looking back, Koushi was at peace.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

“Sugawara Koushi, age 18, died of suffocation from roots in his lungs on August 13th, 2012 at 22:08. The cause of death was Hanahaki disease, and it seems like his affliction was sped along by a visitation by its subject, and Sugawara-san was struck with a violent attack. Resuscitation efforts were unsuccessful.”

- Excerpt from the notes of Dr. Hayato Ayame

Finally, in death, Koushi was letting go.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

© ʙᴇᴛʜᴇʏᴅᴏᴄʀɪᴍᴇᴡʀɪᴛᴇꜱ 2021 - ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

[tinyboxxtink]

Hey so loved your black magic series! I read your post about using REE/Rafael. I’ll read anything you write but this idea to me is RPF and kind of squicks. ☹️ Maybe if you use another character he played? Nevada?! Someone sees “Barba” doing something super bad and they’re all “omg omg” and think it’s Barba? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hear you, I do. HOWEVER, I made a "Version" of Raul Esparza in this story that is 5 years younger, and...I hate to say it, "more" famous?

IDK I wrote a 'prototype' chapter last night, so I'm gonna put this to you. I assume/hope you're an avid reader and I can gauge the public consensus, but also I want ALL my readers to be happy!!

So here, read this and then tell me if you still find the idea "Squicky".

That goes for anyone else! Maybe I should put my tag list in here....

The way I wrote him though anon, I truly feel in my heart that it's not RPF, because like I said RPF freaks me out as well.

Before you already go in skeptical, let me set up the plot I had planned. {As told to @madamsnape921 in an IM:

the thing was gonna start that someone sees Rafael proposing to the reader, and tells a tabloid that Raul Esparza is engaged to some rando. Because they think that it was him. And then Rafa, the reader and Chloe start to discuss on how either it's a multiverse thing, or a doppelganger thing because it turns out that Rafael and Raúl are very similar, like personality traits and the Broadway dream, except that Raul's childhood was basically the opposite of Rafael's so Chloe THINKS that Raul is Rafael from a "multiverse".

Right and then Raul goes to Rafael's office to confront him and then the reader and Chloe are there to take Rafael out to lunch and they're like holy shit!

And Rafael is super uncomfortable with the idea of the reader EVER being in a show with Raul because obviously they're like the same person and Raul probably has more in common with her

Oh and also Raul is five years younger, and thinner. So then Raul's like you shouldn't listen to him, I could really help you with your career.

Annnnd that's all I have so far.

Okay so read this really and tell me you honest opinion.

Screw it putting the tag list:

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

You were walking towards the exit of Central Park hand in hand with your now fiancee, when all of a sudden two giggling girls came running up to you.

“Oh my god!!!!! Raul we didn’t know you had a girlfriend!” One of them started squealing.

“Fiancee,” He corrected. “Wait I’m sorry, what? Did you just call me Raul?”

“Uh...yeah, duh,” One of the girls made a face. “Raul Esparza?”

“What?” You bursted out laughing. “I’m sorry, you think he’s Raul Esparza?”

“Um, we know he is,” The other one crossed her arms.

“Um, no he isn’t!” You wrapped your arm around Rafael protectively, as if the two girls were going to kidnap him or something.

“I can promise you ladies, I am not-- whoever you just said,” Rafael assured them.

“Why are you doing this? Are you trying not to embarrass your lady friend here?” One of the girls made a weird face at you.

“Wha? No--” Rafael tried to defend himself but the girls were already clearly ticked off.

“Wow, I have heard of actors trying to get away from fans but completely pretending to be another person, that’s pretty low Raul,” One of them glared at Rafael.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t have taken you much effort to just take a selfie with us,” The other one added with a scowl.

“I...um--” He looked to you for help, but you just shrugged. You had no idea how to handle such a weird situation.

“I guess we can take one--” He offered.

“Oh no, forget it now,” One girl scoffed.

“Yeah, jerk!” The other one stomped her foot and they both sauntered away angrily.

-----------

“...What the hell was that?” Rafael looked at you in utter confusion and disbelief, you just gave him a “wtf” smile.

“I have no idea baby--”

“Oh my god, are you guys ok?” Chloe suddenly came running up behind you. “What the hell did those teeny boppers want? To rob you with water guns or something?”

“No they-- they wanted a selfie?” Rafael was still confused, trying to figure out what just happened.

“A selfie? With you?” Chloe snorted.

“No-- With Raul Esparza,” You looked at her with a confused smile. It was pretty entertaining to think that your fiance looked like a Broadway star.

“I don’t get it, you said that I didn’t even look like him!” Rafael looked at you.

“I mean I said I didn’t see it, and that you were more handsome,”

“....Yeah well you might wanna rethink that answer babe,” Chloe’s eyes were wide as she handed you her phone. She had googled RAUL ESPARZA, and the images that popped up were-- Rafael’s face.

“Oh my God…” You whispered, showing Rafael the phone. He quickly pulled out his own and started searching for himself. You handed Chloe back her phone and did the same. Pages and pages of articles about Raul Esparza’s shows, and accelaides, and all with Rafael's face plastered all over them.

“He’s….me,” Rafael whispered in horror.

“He looks more like you than you do!” You teased, he looked at you with a very serious face. Clearly he was not ready to joke about this yet.

“Holy shit. This is some multiverse shit,” Chloe muttered as she went through her Google search.

“Excuse me?” You asked her.

“You know, the multiverse theory? There’s an infinite amount of universes in every decision anyone ever makes.”

“Meaning…?” Rafael asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Raul could be Rafael, if he hadn’t given up on his Broadway dream,”

“Oh my god,” Rafael started laughing. “Chloe, did you get loaded in the park or something?”

“Oh okay, so you have a better idea, big brain lawyer?” She crossed her arms.

“He might not, but I do,” You piped up, showing her your phone.

“Doppelgangers?” Chloe read with a face.

“Yes, it’s a fact that there are 5 people in the world with the EXACT same face,” You continued reading.

“And he just happens to live in New York, where Rafael lives? AND is on Broadway, the one thing Rafael gave up?”

“Look sure it’s a million to one shot that those events would line up, but what’s more plausible: Doppelganger or ‘Multiverse’?” You looked at Chloe, who looked at Rafael, so you turned to Rafael as well.

“...Wha--are you asking me?” He asked.

“I mean it is your face,” You shrugged. “What do you think, baby?”

“I’m leaning towards a doppelganger, sorry Chloe,” He shrugged as well.

“Yeah well, you’re probably right,” Chloe nodded as she read her own phone, still on Raul Esparza info. “Most likely because he’s five years YOUNGER than you,”

“WHAT?!” Rafael grabbed her phone; as he read it, his face fell. “Oh God, no…”

“Wha--What does it matter how old he is, Rafa?” You furrowed your brows.

“Or the fact that he’s clearly thinner and more attractive,” Chloe added with a smirk.

“CHLOE,” You scolded her. “What the ever loving fuck?”

“Well, I’m just saying-- Look at them side by side,” Chloe had a photo of Rafael from some mayor’s ball next to Raul Esparza at the Tonys, both in tuxedo’s. You wouldn’t admit to Rafael but Raul was definitely thinner, and...he looked a lot younger. It was probably Botox or something you were sure, but still….

“Okay but again WHY does it matter--?” You wanted to change the subject.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N-- This is what you want to do!” He gestured to Chloe’s phone.

“....I don’t want Raul--” You started.

“No, you want to be on Broadway though!! And, and what if someday, God forbid, you end up in a show with this guy? He clearly already has a leg up on me compatibility wise, and as Chloe so kindly pointed out, a leg up on me age and attractiveness wise, and--” Rafael started ranting and rambling, talking lightening fast, as he did when he got upset or excited.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa, back up there counselor,” You put up a hand to his face. “Are you actually insinuating that if I worked with Raul Esparza, that I would magically fall in love with him?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Rafael was triggered by the mention of magic and love.

“Okay but I’m not even saying ‘magic’ magic, I’m just saying-- What do you think because he’s an actor, and younger than you I’m just going to think I’m better off with him? Just because he has your face?” You gave him a small “oh honey” smile as you placed your hands on either of his face.

“No, but if you have to play his love interest, and you spend every day with him, it might blur the lines--” He started grumbling.

“Rafael, baby--” You shook his head in your hands. “I am still in SCHOOL. I am nowhere NEAR being in a Broadway show as a freaking techie, let alone a love interest starring opposite Raul Esparza,”

“Yeah, I mean this guy is huge-- 3 Tonys, 2 Emmys, an Oscar--” Chloe rattled off, but stopped when she realized you were glaring at her. “What? I’m helping!”

“...See? He’s far too famous for me,” You pressed your forehead to Rafael’s.

“Right, and I’m just the lowly ADA,” He muttered.

“Lowly my ass, Rafa,” You hit him playfully. “You are the most respected ADA in all of New York,”

“I’m the only ADA of New York,” He made a face.

“Not true! Just the city,” You beamed, proud of yourself you did some research once you had gotten together.

“My point is Rafael,” You now put your hands on his collar and pulled yourself into him. “You are all the acclaim I need,” You kissed him softly. “You’re my everything, I mean for fuck’s sake you just held a one man flash mob to propose to me! Let’s Raul Esparza do THAT,” You laughed, hoping to make him feel better. As his scowl melted into a smile, you knew you had succeeded.

“That was pretty romantic wasn’t it?” He beamed, proud of himself.

“It was EPIC,” Chloe chimed in, for good this time.

“Your voice is beautiful by the way,” You had forgotten in the midst of all of the romantic hubbub to compliment him. “I’m really sorry you had to give up Broadway,”

“Yeah, well-- apparently some part of me didn’t,” He gestured to his phone.

“Well he doesn’t have me,” You pointed out.

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Rafael grinned as he pulled you into a deep kiss.

“Now can we please just forget about--” You hesitated, deciding not to mention his name again. “Anything else, and just focus on our engagement night?”

“Well, I suppose--” He nodded as he put an arm around you, and the three of you continued to walk through the park.

-------

Across town in a swanky New York Penthouse, an alert went off on Raul Esparza’s phone. He had it set to notify him any time his name appeared in a headline on the internet. He glanced over and picked it up, reading the notification. As he read it, his eyes widened and his face grew red. He stood up and yelled to no one in particular,

“Who the FUCK is trying to impersonate me?!”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Destiny

Chapter 5: It’s Good Advice, You Should Take It...

Chapter Summary: The final memory Tony and Natasha show Katie sees them back at the compound, in a moment Katie isn’t that keen to relive. And then the time comes for her to say goodbye to her brother and best friend all over again.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So this is it. The last Chapter of Stark Spangled Destiny. I hope y’all have enjoyed this little mini-series as much as I have writing it. As always, thanks for your continued support, comments and re-blogs, and of course for loving Katie, Steve and the kids as much as I do.

Katie looked at the door which led to their apartment in the compound. The familiar smells, noises, sights had all assaulted her senses the minute she had found herself here and she was swamped with a million and one memories of the place that for years they had called home, their private space contained just behind the glossy, dark wooden door she was stood in front of.

She looked at Tony who nodded, as did Natasha- the red head dropping a hand to Katie’s shoulder. With a deep breath she pressed her palm to the pad at the side and the door slid open and she stepped into the apartment, heading into hallway, taking a look around at the earthy tones it was decorated in. She moved further into the apartment, through to the open plan living area, taking everything in, including the large, canvas photo from their wedding day, the pair of them on the dance floor for their first dance, their heads pressed together, stupid grins on their face. The very same canvas now adorned the wall in their entrance hall of their home in Brooklyn, having been moved out of the living room to make way for the various photos of their family. “I do like that photo.” Natasha smiled and Katie looked at her, smiling herself.

“Me too.” She nodded before taking a deep breath, getting a hit of the wax burner she’d almost constantly had going, with the lingering smell of the Hugo Boss Steve had worn until a few years back when Emmy had informed him that the company had once-upon-a-time made Uniforms for the Nazis. Horrified, Steve had instantly stopped using it, swapping to Gucci Guilty instead, which Katie wasn’t complaining about. She preferred it.

“What am I doing here Tony?” Katie asked, turning to face him, but before he could reply Katie heard the door open to the bedroom. She looked up as Steve strolled in to the room from the hallway, yawning. His hair was shorter, face clean shaven and he was in a pair of sweats that hung off his hips, his top half bare showing off his physique. Katie took a moment, looking at him, taking in how damned young he looked, all the time biting her lip.

Besides her Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re drooling.”

“And?” she shrugged, moving to follow Steve into the kitchen area. His back muscles twitched as he reached up for the coffee and Katie gave a little groan. “I love it when he does that.”

“What, makes coffee?” Nat quipped nudging her, and Katie gave a snort.

“No, flexes his back…” she shrugged “I like it.”

“You know…you’re really fucking weird.” Tony concluded, before Katie gave a laugh which cut off as she caught a movement in her peripheral…

Steve heard a noise and turned round to see Katie padding her way into the kitchen, wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole top, hair piled on top of her head. She yawned and gave him a tired smile.

“Hey beautiful.” He said, leaning down to give her a good morning kiss. “How’s Emmy?”

“Sleeping.” Katie sighed, rubbing her eyes as she yawned again “She finally drifted off about 3 am.”

Steve bit the inside of his lip as he looked down at the floor “You know, I really wish I could help. I feel so useless when she has those nightmares, because I can’t comfort her or…”

“Hey…” Katie shook her head, reaching out for his hands and lacing her fingers through his “You do help. You give her a safe home. She’ll come round in the end Steve, you’ll see. We just have to let her do it in her own time.”

“I know, you’re right.” Steve agreed, looking at his wife “Still doesn’t make me feel any better. You know, she’s been here almost 3 months now. Do we need to call anyone, try and get her some help or…”

Katie pondered for a moment before she shrugged “Honestly, I don’t know how she’d react to it. Maybe. Let’s just see how we go ok? Give it another couple of weeks and then if things don’t get any better we can call someone.”

“Ok.” Steve nodded before he took another deep breath “You want coffee?”

“Dur.” Katie smiled and he chuckled at his dumbass question. “Thought I’d do French Toast for breakfast, that sound ok or are you rushing to meet Rhodey?”

“No rush.” Steve shook his head “I don’t need to leave until 10..” Katie stood watching and turned to Tony. “I know exactly what this day is. This is when Emmy had her meltdown.”

Tony nodded “Yeah, poor kid.”

“It’s easy to forget how troubled she was when she arrived.” Natasha mused as the 3 of them watched as past Katie and Steve moved around the kitchen like a well-oiled machine and Katie had to smile. It was odd watching it from the outside and she’d never appreciated just how tactile Steve was with her. A touch on the arm here, a kiss to the cheek or neck there, but now she thought about it she realised he was still the same now. Like he deliberately looked for any excuse to touch her or show her affection.  That hadn’t waned in the slightest after 17 years of being together.

“Gross…” Tony grumbled as Natasha gave a chuckle when Steve stopped Katie and turned her to face him, giving her a deep kiss which was interrupted by Emmy.

“Sorry, didn’t realise you two were making out.” She said, as she pottered into the kitchen dressed in a pair of pyjamas.

“I was making breakfast.” Katie said, completely unabashed by Emmy’s dig. Steve, on the other hand, flushed red and looked down, suddenly realising he was topless.

“I’m gonna…” He trailed off before he made his way out of the kitchen and Katie looked at Emmy as she pulled open the fridge

“You want orange juice or apple, Em?”

“Orange please.” Emmy said, sitting on one of the high stools.  Katie poured her a glass, handing it to her. The 11 year old took it with a mumbled thanks and took a drink, her eyes trained on the surface of the breakfast bar. Katie watched her for a second before she stepped towards her slightly.

“You ok?” she asked, noticing the girl was unusually quiet. She’d come out of her shell a lot more recently but seemed today to be retreating back into it.

“Yeah, I’m just a little tired.” Emmy shrugged.

“I’m not surprised.” Katie said softly

“Sorry.” Emmy said quietly and Katie sighed..

“Em, there’s nothing to be sorry for.” She gently placed her hand on her shoulder “You can’t help what you dream about.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you both up.”

“Honestly, sweetheart it’s fine.” Katie said, “Now, I’m gonna make French toast for breakfast. That ok?”

Emmy nodded and took another drink of her orange juice before Katie turned back to her cooking, Emmy simply watching her. Normally she offered to help but today she was simply sat at the breakfast bar, observing and every so often her eyes would flick round the room. It was a change in demeanour Katie was painfully aware of but let it pass them by, allowing her to do what she felt she wanted, or needed as the case may be, to do.

Just as Katie was serving, Steve emerged fully dressed, hair damp from the shower. “This looks great, thanks honey.” He said, dropping a kiss to Katie’s cheek as she placed a plate in front of him whilst he pulled out a stool and sat down. Katie settled at the end of the bar, her own food in front of her and she noticed Emmy’s eyes flick from her to Steve before she looked down at her plate. Steve also clocked the look on her face and he glanced at Katie who shook her head telling him not to comment.

“So, what do you two have planned today?” Steve asked instead, breaking the silence.

When Emmy didn’t reply, Katie picked up the conversation. “I have a conference call at 11 for an hour with the guys at SIDE but other than that not much. I do need to go to the store though, that ok Em?”

Emmy shrugged “Fine.”

“I can always see if you can stay with Bruce or Nat.” Katie offered “I know you and Nat have been working through Friends on Netflix...”

Emmy looked at her “Ok, if I’m not too much of a burden.”

Steve frowned and looked at Katie before he glanced back at Em “Of course you’re not. Nat and Bruce love having you here as much as we do.”

Emmy turned her head to Steve, her eyes locking on his almost as if she was searching them to see if he was telling the truth. Eventually she nodded and turned back to her food. “Then if I can I’d like to stay here.”

“Sure.” Katie said, nodding. “To be honest, you can always stay here in your room anyway. FRIDAY is always on hand and if you need anything…” “Whatever is easier.”

“What do you want to do?” Katie asked, not a shred of impatience in her tone despite Emmy being obtuse. Emmy paused and then looked at her.

“The Common Room with Nat.” she said finally.

“Ok, then when I go down to the office at 11 I’ll ask her, ok?”

Emmy nodded. “Thanks.”

Steve looked at Katie once more, before the three of them resumed eating breakfast, Katie and Steve carrying the conversation for the most before Emmy finished and politely asked if she could be excused to wash up and get dressed. After Steve told her of course she could, she took her plate to the sink and then headed out.

“Ok, tell me I’m being overly sensitive but…” Steve began and Katie cut him off.

“She told me before she’s tired Steve.” She replied “She had a rough night, you know as well as anyone what night terrors can do.”

“Think that’s all it is?”

“Honestly I’ve no idea.” Katie sighed “But until she’s ready to talk what do we do? I’m not gonna keep pushing her as it will make it worse.”

Steve took a deep breath and Katie stood up, reaching for his plate but he stopped her, his hand gently wrapping around her wrist “I’ll do that. You go get yourself sorted.”

Katie smiled, dropped a kiss to his lips and headed out of the room. “I know where this is going…” Katie sighed, “I don’t…do I have to see it again?”

“Yup.” Tony said.

“Why?” she turned to her brother “Why is going over this particular day important?”

“Because it is.” Natasha said simply “You were questioning what the point of you being in your kids’ lives was.” She turned to Katie who met her gaze “You need to understand just how much of an impact you and Steve had on Emmy, and what your decision to let her stay with you meant for her, and her life. Things could have turned out very different.”

“I know that.” Katie sighed, exasperatedly.

“Do you?” Tony looked at her. “Do you really know or is it just something you think you know?”

Katie looked at him and let out a groan “Of course I know Tony, she was living on her own…”

“Ok…” Tony held his hands up. “But you’re gonna watch anyway.”

Katie let out a loud noise and when she turned back to the scene in front of her she noticed now that she was fully dressed, in jeans and a sweater and was fishing in the Gold Pineapple bowl. They watched as she fished her car keys from the bowl and then her wallet, opening it, giving an exasperated groan and yelling out the word “Fuck.”

“Potty mouth…” Tony looked at her and she shrugged.

“My cash was gone…” Katie looked at Tony. “You know, it seems like such an odd thing now but it was so rare in the year or so after the snap. I hardly ever used it, everything was by card.”

“People went into a frenzy, trying to withdraw what they could.” Nat shrugged.

“So much so they basically emptied every ATM in the country.” Tony mused “And to think they ridicule old people for stashing it under the mattress…”

Katie let out a deep breath watched herself ponder something before she headed out, phone in hand, as she closed the door behind her.

“Real informative.” Katie deadpanned, turning to Tony who shot her a scathing look. “Me looking at an empty wallet.”

“Shut up.” Tony rolled his eyes “I forgot what a sarcastic ass you are.”

“I learnt from the best.” She shot back. Natasha gave a chuckle.

“She’s not wrong Shell Head.”

“I hate you both.” Tony sulked, turning away from them as he strode towards the Golden Pineapple on the table. He bent to examine it before he gave a snort and looked back at Katie.

“Why the fuck did you buy this?” Tony looked at her.

“I told you about a thousand times.” Katie sighed “It was a joke between me and Steve. He still has it you know.”

“I don’t get it.” Tony shrugged.

“You won’t because it’s an in joke…” Katie groaned “Look, I know you haven’t brought me here to look at a fucking pineapple bowl.”

“Well I kinda did, in a way, but…” Tony shrugged and nodded back to the door.

Steve opened the door, his hair and shoulders were wet from the shower of rain which had chosen the exact moment he had gotten out of the car to start, and then the moment he’d entered the building to stop. Dropping his kit bag to the floor he peeled off his jacket and hung it on the peg by the door. He then kicked off his sneakers, and made his way into the living area where Katie was perched on the sofa, cross legged. Her hair was pulled up into a hap-hazard bun and her glasses were perched on her nose as she glanced down at the laptop which was resting on her knees, her feet placed on the edge of the coffee table. Sensing his presence as always, she turned over her shoulder to look at him and he smiled.

“You still working?” he asked, nodding to the laptop and she shook her head.

“No, well, sorta…I was looking at some figures but nothing major.” She said, tapping a button to save what she had been doing before she shut the laptop. Steve flopped onto the sofa next to her, leaning over to place a soft kiss to her lips. “Good day?” she asked.

“Not bad.” He shrugged “I might need to head away again for a while, looks like we’re focussing on another unit in Toronto.”

“How long for?”

“A week, maybe two.” He shrugged “That ok?”

“Yeah, of course.” She nodded “It needs to be done Steve, and like you said, if we don’t then…”

“I know.” He breathed out “Rather be here with you and Em though.”

She chuckled and turned to face him, “Soppy bastard.”

He shrugged before he leaned back against the cushion and she snuggled under his arm. “Speaking of Em, where is she?”

“Oh she’s with Bruce.” Katie replied “She spent a few hours with Nat and then she headed into the lab, she was showing her something to do with…actually, I don’t have a clue. Bruce did try to explain but it went right over my head. Something about energy extrapolation...I think.”

Steve laughed, his hand gently tracing shapes on her upper arm. “Is she feeling better.”

“I think so.” Katie sighed “Hard to gage. She was laughing with Nat when I came back from the store…oh, and that reminds me, Rogers.” She sat up and poked at his chest “Next time you’re gonna use me as your own personal ATM, can you at least warn me first?”

“What?” Steve looked at her, utterly baffled “Personal ATM…I don’t…”

“The cash you took from my wallet.” Katie arched an eyebrow “Not that it matters, everywhere is card, card, card now but you know I like to-“

“Baby…” Steve cut her off, shaking his head “I didn’t take any cash from you, I’ve still got some spare.”

Katie frowned “Well I know there was about two hundred bucks in there and now there’s nothing, so if you didn’t then…” She trailed off, sighing “Shit.”

“Ok, let’s not jump to conclusions.” Steve said, instantly understanding and Katie bit her lip.

“Who else could it be?” she took off her glasses and tossed them carelessly on top of her laptop, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“FRIDAY?” Steve asked.

“Yes Captain Rogers.” The AI responded.

“Has anyone else been in our quarters over the last 24 hours?” Steve asked the question, although deep down he already knew the answer. It was impossible for anyone to get into the compound without them knowing.

“Apart from yourself, Mrs Rogers and Miss McKellen that is a negative, Captain.”

Katie looked at him, “Now what do we do?”

Steve inhaled and let out a deep breath from his nose “Ok, we need to talk to her about it.”  Katie bit her lip before she stood up and Steve frowned “Where are you going?”

“To check her room.”

“Honey…” Steve started to protest but Katie stopped him dead with a look.

“No, Steve…I’m sorry but…” and with that she headed off down the hall. Steve let out a groan, before he followed her. Up until now Emmy had caused them no issues really in the grand scheme of things. The nightmares and panic attacks aside, ok and the melt down she’d Katie had taken her shopping as she refused to go back to her old foster home to pick anything up, she’d been great. Never complained, never moaned about anything, in fact she seemed positively grateful to be there, which was why this was such a shock to them both. And he still didn’t want to believe it.

However, when he watched Katie pulling a rucksack out of Emmy’s wardrobe, opening the front pocket to reveal the money the pair of them were forced to accept that she’d stolen from them. With tears in her eyes Katie opened the main part of the bag and then tossed it onto Emmy’s bed.

“Look.” She said gently. Steve moved, his hands parting the bag open slightly and he stared at the contents. Clothes, a few toiletries, some granola bars, a packet of cookies and bottles of water.

“You don’t think…” Steve swallowed “She was gonna run away?”

“What other explanation is there?” Katie’s voice was a sad whisper, and the look on her face broke Steve’s heart. “I don’t get it, I mean is she that unhappy here that she’d rather take her chances out there alone?”

Steve had nothing to say. There was nothing he could say, because he felt as helpless and as lost as Katie here. Of the hundreds of missions he’d faced, his various dances with death and that flighty temptress fear, nothing had ever prepared him for how he felt then. He had no Plan A, let alone a Plan B.

Katie swallowed and looked at Tony. “You know, looking back on all of this…it has to be one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had no idea what to do for the best…”

“Well whatever you did worked out.” Tony said simply, as they watched past Katie and Steve head out of Emmy’s room, Steve clutching Emmy’s bag in one hand, his other gently placed on the curve of Katie’s back.

Katie sighed heavily and shook her head “I really don’t want to see this next bit. Please, I get it…”

“No, you don’t.” Nat said simply and looked at her “You won’t get it until you see it from this point of view.”

“Why?”

“Stop being awkward.” Tony sighed, “Just watch will you, save the questions until after.”

Katie glared at the pair of them before she stalked out of Emmy’s room just in time to see the girl herself walk into the apartment. Lucky padded out of the open plan living area and into the hallway to say greet her. She pet his head and then headed into the living room. Taking a deep breath, as she could remember this next bit like it had happened only yesterday, Katie followed her.

Emmy stopped dead as she saw her rucksack perched on the large oak dining table which was situated in front of the bi-folding doors, behind the sofa. Steve looked up at her from where he and Katie had been sat, both with a mug of tea in their hands, trying to decide how they dealt with the situation.

“You been going through my stuff?” Emmy glared at them both, her arms folded.

“Emmy…” Katie sighed “Sit down.”

“No.”

“Sit.” Steve instructed, his voice a little more stern than Katie’s and Emmy looked at him, her chin jutting out defiantly.

“I said no.”

“Fine, don’t” Katie shrugged “But to answer your question, yes we did go through your stuff…because I was looking for something. Some money that went missing.”

“And you just assumed I took it.” She glared at them both “I get it, the bad foster kid…”

“Oh Emmy stop!” Steve said exasperatedly “For your information, no, we didn’t just assume. We checked with FRIDAY. No one bar us three has been in the apartment. So unless you’re suggesting Lucky stole it then…”

Emmy glanced at Steve and then looked at the floor as from behind the bag, Katie pushed the wad of cash across the table. Emmy glanced up and took a deep breath, at least having the good grace to look remorseful.

“Why did you take it?” Katie asked.

Emmy stayed quiet for a little while before she shrugged “In case I need it.”

“What do you need two hundred bucks for?” Steve asked, his tone softer than it had been before. “Do you owe it to someone? Are you in trouble?”

“No.”

“Then explain to us Em.” Katie sighed, “If you need something or want something, all you gotta do is ask. Not steal from us.”

“I just do…ok?”

“For when you run away you mean?” Steve looked at her “Yes, we checked the rest of your bag.”

“You…you had no right to go through my stuff!” Emmy’s voice raised and Steve felt his temper beginning to rise. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of what she’d been through. Under the table, Katie squeezed his knee gently and he looked away from Emmy, ensuring he kept his composure.

“We didn’t want to.” Katie looked at her “But Em, you stole from us. And you were planning on running away. I don’t get it. Are you not happy here? Do you want to leave?”

Emmy looked down at her feet but didn’t answer.

“This is getting us nowhere.” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Emmy we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what the problem is.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be here!” she said, her voice raising “You’re the one that made me come!”

“Yeah, because you were about to get yourself in trouble…” Steve protested but she cut him off.

“Yeah, yeah, Captain America…can’t bear to see anyone doing anything wrong.” She glared at him and Steve felt the nerve in his jaw twitch “Where were you when we actually needed you huh?”

“Emily…” Katie frowned “That’s not fair…”

Steve looked down at the table, shaking his head “You know exactly where we were…”

“I don’t mean the fight, or whatever…” She blazed “I mean after! It took people months to realise I was on my own, and I’m not the only one.”

“I know!” Katie shook her head “But we had a lot to deal with, why do you think I’m working so hard with setting up these homes?”

“Yeah, great coz that’s what kids like me need isn’t it, to be dumped back in a home.” Emmy shook her head “God this is so shit.”

“Ok, that’s enough.” Steve snapped. “Emmy that day in the store, I brought you back here to try and help and we’ve done nothing but accommodate you. We put a roof over your head, fed you, clothed you…Katie’s sat up countless nights with you when you’ve had nightmares…and this is how you repay us?”

“Sorry I didn’t realised you wanted payment…” Emmy glared at him. “What do you want? I have no money…I could always work the streets, you know, turn hooker…”

“Oh for…” Steve finally snapped, he stood up quickly, his chair clattering to the floor behind him as he turned away, drawing his hands over his face.

Simultaneously, Emmy’s eyes widened and she stepped back further away, an action Katie spotted.

“Emmmy…” she began and Steve turned back round.One look at Emmy’s petrified face made his heart sink. He’d frightened her. That hadn’t been his intention, far from it but as he stepped towards her to try and calm her down, she retreated away, moving backwards towards the door before she turned and bolted out of the room.

“Shit.” Steve mumbled, and in a flash he was after her “Emmy…”

“Get away from me!” she screamed, running into her room. “Leave me alone…”

“Em…” Katie was behind Steve, “Emily, just listen…”

But she was having none of it. She reached her room and made to slam the door, and Steve knew she’d lock it if she did so acting on instinct he reached out and stuck his hand straight in between the door and the frame. It slammed straight onto his fingers, and he gave a grimace, gritting his teeth slightly as Emmy screamed and repeated the motion. But he never once made a sound. Katie had tears in her eyes as she looked at Steve and as Emmy made to slam the door on his hand for a 3rd time he reached up with his left one, and placed the palm flat on the wood stopping it dead. He pushed gently, making it swing back open and Katie moved past him into the room.

“Emmy what’s going on?” she asked, “Please, you need to talk to us.”

“You want me to leave!” Emmy cried, as she slumped to the floor in the corner of the room, hugging her knees to her chest.

“No, no we don’t.” Katie insisted, kneeling in front of her, as Steve strode into the room quietly, sitting on the end of Emmy’s bed in an attempt to make himself slightly less imposing in the space of the room.

“I heard you!” Emmy screamed, “I heard you earlier, saying that you’d give it another couple of weeks before you called someone to come and take me and…”

“Woah, woah, woah…” Steve held his hand up, cutting her off. “Emmy, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Don’t fucking LIE TO ME!”

“Emmy, he isn’t!” Katie insisted, “That wasn’t about sending you away, it was about getting you help with your nightmares, babe.”

Silence fell over the room and Emmy’s mouth clamped shut, her large brown eyes blinking as she looked at Katie then to Steve.

“It’s true.” He said softly “It was my idea.”

“So you don’t wanna send me to a home?” Emmy asked quietly, her tears trickling down her face.

“No, sweetheart, we don’t.” Katie said, her own eyes spilling over as she reached up to wipe Emmy’s tears away “Look, we weren’t gonna tell you until it was all sorted out but a week ago a place for you opened at one of the homes that SIDE has been organising, but…” she took a deep breath and looked at Steve who licked his lips.

“We don’t want you to leave Em.”  He finished for Katie “So, we’ve applied to the Authorities to make this your permanent Foster Home.”

“You did?” Emmy’s voice was a whisper and both Katie and Steve nodded.

“We’re not sending you anywhere.” Katie looked at her “As long as you’re happy here then you can stay. But if you’re not then…”

“I am…” she blurted out, before she looked down at the spot on the floor between her and Katie “I just…I’ve been bad and…”

“Emmy, look at me sweetie.” Katie sighed, shuffling forward a little and Emmy turned her brown eyes onto Katie’s.. “Stealing is bad, yeah. But we’re not gonna send you away for misbehaving. Yeah, ok, down the line there’s probably gonna be times we get cross and tell you off but that’s part of us all growing up and navigating this new family life. I promise you, with everything I have, that none of that will ever mean we’ll send you away.”

“But I’ve been really bad. I stole. A lot of money too…” Emmy began to sob again and Katie reached out for her, curling her arms around her as she sobbed against her shoulder. Steve made a moment as if to comfort her too but hastily pulled his hand away and Katie gave him a sympathetic look. She knew not being able to do something as simple as hug her was killing him. Instead he took a deep breath and spoke softly, his gentle baritone carrying over the sounds of her crying.

“We’re not bothered about the money.” Steve said as Katie looked at him as she rocked Emmy gently to and fro “We’re more bothered about the fact you felt so bad and that your first thought was to run away. You should have talked to us honey.”

 “I know.” Emmy sobbed, her face pressed into Katie’s neck “I won’t do it again, I swear, I’m so sorry.” She turned her head to look at Steve “I’m sorry about your hand, I didn’t…”

“I’ve had worse.” Steve said, shaking his head as he flexed the fingers of his right hand. It was slightly painful, but he knew there would be no lasting damage.

“Yeah, like the time you put it through the stud wall in the Tower.”  Katie looked at him. He frowned, wondering why of all the times he had hurt himself she’d brought that up, but then he suddenly understood.”

“Well, it was a very vivid nightmare.” He shrugged and at that Emmy looked at him, swallowing.

“You had…you had nightmares?”

 “Still do sometimes.” He shrugged

“What about?” Emmy looked at him, wiping her eyes.

“It used to be the War.” Steve said gently “I don’t get those so much anymore. Now, well it’s mainly about the Snap.” He trailed off, looking at his hands. “I see all those people on that battlefield…our friends…”

“I get them too.” Katie said softly “About HYDRA…” she swallowed as Steve took a deep breath “About Thanos.I lie awake sometimes, wondering if we could have done more…” she sniffed and her hand moved instinctively to her stomach, caressing the place their surprise baby had been before Thanos had cruelly ripped that away from them too and Steve looked down once more. To not even find out until after it had gone had been a double blow to the pair of them. “But the thing is Em…” Katie looked back at her “We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.”

“And I get that isn’t always easy.” Steve said, “Hell, in my day if you talked about stuff like that people looked at you like you belonged in a Bug House.”

“Steve…” Katie chastised his turn of phrase as Emmy gave a soft chuckle.  “Well, it’s true.” He protested slightly, before he looked back at the dark haired girl, who still had her head laid against Katie’s shoulder. “And it took me awhile, almost a year actually, to open up to Katie…and even then I only did that because I fell asleep on her couch and had a night terror there.” He took a deep breath “But the point is Em, what I was worried about was Katie, or anyone else for that matter, thinking less of me if I did tell them what I was feeling, that it would make them believe I was weak because I was dreaming about all this stuff…but that’s not the case. It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.”

Emmy looked at him and sniffled a little, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

“Whatever is going on up here…” Katie said gently, tapping at Emmy’s head with the arm that lay round her shoulders “We want to help. But we can’t if you don’t talk to us.” Emmy nodded gently, to show she understood as Katie continued. “So no matter what it is, how stupid you might feel, how dumbass you think it makes you sound, we want you to tell us. Or if not us, Nat or Bruce or Tony. Because then we can help, we can deal with it instead of getting ourselves into a situation like this again.”

“And we promise, and for the record, I’m Captain America ergo I can’t lie…” Steve looked at Emmy and she gave a little titter of a laugh “That no matter what it is, we’re not gonna go mad, or kick you out. We just want you to be honest with how you’re feeling, ok?”

Emmy swallowed and nodded, before the tears filled her eyes. “I know, I really am sorry….”

“We know you are.” Steve said softly as Katie pulled her close again. “It’s ok.” “Think we can draw a line under this and move on?” Katie asked softly and Emmy nodded against her shoulder, sitting back and wiping her eyes.  

Steve looked around the spare room Emmy had taken up residency in. They’d found her a book shelf in one of the old rooms that was no longer used and brought that in for her, Tony had installed a state of the art flat screen TV which linked to FRIDAY on the wall so she could watch whatever she wanted, but it was still bare in a way. There was a lack of real personal touches to the décor, and to him it still didn’t feel like it belonged to her. And then he had a sudden idea “You know, if you are staying, I think this place could use a little personalisation.”

“What do you mean?” Emmy looked at him.

“Well, beige and cream is ok but…surely it could be a little more colourful.”  He mused looking around before he looked at Katie “What do you think honey?”

Katie smiled and glanced at Emmy “You know what, I think Steve-O might be onto something.”

Emmy chuckled and then looked at Steve “What, so you mean we could paint it?”

Steve nodded “Yeah, maybe pick up a few other things.”

“I’d like a new lamp.” She said a little shyly.

“Why don’t you go to the hardware store tomorrow?” Katie looked at her, then to Steve “See what they have?”

Steve looked at Emmy “I’m game if you are kid.”

Emmy nodded again and smiled before Steve slapped his thighs with his hands “Ok, that’s settled…” he stood up off the bed and offered Katie his hand. He pulled her to his feet and then she did the same with Emmy.

“I’m gonna go wash my face.” Emmy said gently, “And then can I take Lucky for a walk? Just to the lake.”

“Sure. Why don’t you pop back in on Nat?” Katie suggested “Tell her I’m making tagliatelli for dinner. Should be ready for about 6-ish ok, so if you wanna stay with her until then, we’ll see you in the big kitchen.”

Emmy nodded as she headed to the door before Steve spoke again.

“You mind if I join you?” Steve asked “Just for a walk, I could do with stretching my legs, been sat in a Classroom all day with the new recruits….”

“Basically that means he hasn’t been running.” Katie said, winking at Emmy  “And you know he gets cranky if he doesn’t do something….”

“I do not.”

“You so do Steve-o.” Emmy agreed with Katie and Steve gave a dramatic sigh.

“I do not get cranky, I just get a little restless…”

“Whatever.” Katie shrugged. “Same thing.”

“No, it’s…they’re not the same at all.” Steve folded his arms and Emmy gave a giggle as Katie looked at him.

“See, you’re being cranky now. Cranky and argumentative.”

“Pot,Kettle Mrs Rogers.”

“Are you guys having a domestic?” Emmy smirked, folding her arms and Katie chuckled, before she leaned up and gave Steve a peck on the cheek.

“No, just reminding him who’s boss.”

“Yeah, that most certainly is not me.” Steve rolled his eyes and Emmy giggled.

As soon as she was gone Katie ran her hands down her face, where they came to rest over her nose and mouth before she looked at Steve.

“You ok?” he asked and she nodded, stepping forward into his arms. He dropped a kiss to the crown of her head and she pulled back.

“How’s your hand really?”

“A little sore but it’ll be fine in a coupl’a hours.” He shrugged “Nothing broken.”

“Do you need to ice it?”

“Nah.” He said, flexing his fingers. Katie took his hand and pressed her lips tenderly to the skin over the already slightly bruised knuckles and looked up at him.

“I can’t believe she thought we were gonna kick her out.” She said sadly.

“Yeah, but it’s done now.” Steve said “We told her not to dwell on it, so we need to follow our own advice ok.” His hands cupped her face gently and he smiled “Stop drowning in here…” he said, kissing her temple and she laughed a little.

“I remember I used to say that to you.”

“Well its good advice” he smiled, and at that Emmy came back, her face looking slightly less tear stained.

“Ok, do you wanna go?” she asked looking at Steve and he nodded and turned to her.

“You bet.”

She turned and headed back down the corridor and Steve paused in the doorway, turning back to Katie.

“I love you sweetheart.” He smiled at he and Katie’s face split into a grin.

“Love you too Soldier.”

Katie felt Tony’s hand on her shoulder. “You get it now?”

She turned to him, tears stinging her eyes. “It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.” She repeated Steve’s words. “This isn’t just about Emmy is it? You want me to realise I shouldn’t have tied to hide what I was feeling.”

“Well, like you so eloquently told Em, We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.” Tony smiled, reaching out and gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ears “It’s good advice, you should take it.”

She sniffed and blinked away her tears as Tony wrapped his arms around her. She lay her head against his shoulder, breathing in his smell, his touch, his feel before she pulled away again. And this time she found herself outside the compound, on the large driveway, the setting sun made her squint slightly as it lit up the sky over the roof of the building that she had once called home in stunning streaks of orange, yellow, red and purple.

“So, now my little guided trip through life is over, is the bit where I click my heels together three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’?” Katie asked and Natasha snorted.

“Why would you do that?” Tony looked at her, before he gestured to his side “Just drive.”

Katie glanced to her left and saw her Cameo was parked on the gravel driveway, to the side of the Audi. She smiled “I love that care you know, I can’t bear to part with it.”

“I should think not.” Tony said, clearly affronted at the simply idea of that.

“Only because you gave it to me.” She said quietly “It’s had a lot of work done, I don’t use it often but Jamie likes it. Rori too. She calls it the Kardasheen Car.”

“The what?” Tony looked at Katie and she shook her head.

“She saw an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and now she’s obsessed, don’t ask.” She snorted “Ever since then it’s all about her nails, hair,  Barbies, blingy and expensive shit…drives Steve and Jamie mental.”

“You know I’m gutted I never got to meet her.” Tony mused “I sense we would have gotten along.”

“I tell her about you all the time, both of you.” Katie swallowed “She knows what her name means, and that she shares her Uncle Nee’s birthday…” she fell silent, the tears once more pricking her eyes “Please don’t go…” she whispered.  “I’m don’t want to say goodbye to you both. Not again.”

“Well then, don’t think of it as goodbye.” Tony wrinkled his nose, reaching up to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs. “More like a temporary parting of the ways.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before she stepped back, the tears coursing down her face and she turned to Natasha. The two women smiled at each other and then embraced. 

“Tell Clint I like my tree.” Nat said gently and Katie gave a little chuckle through her tears before she stepped back and nodded. She took a deep breath, stepped towards her car and them paused.

“Missing something?” Tony asked, waving the keys at her. With a smile she caught them as he tossed them over the roof of the car and took another look at her brother and best friend. The ache in her chest was growing stronger and although she KNEW this was a dream, it was so real, so vivid. The smells, touch, tastes, sounds were all assaulting her senses, and the fact Tony and Natasha were leaving her yet again was killing her.

But as she opened the door to her Camero another smell hit her. A mixture of sandalwood and citrus from Steve’s cologne, along with something slightly more gentle which she recognised instantly. She could smell her home. And she was suddenly overcome with a huge desire to be there, with her kids, with Steve…and even that damned dog. At the thought of Stark, she grinned.

“Hey Tone…did you know we have a dog named after you?”

“Yeah…”he shrugged “But I am awesome so..”

She rolled her eyes and looked at her brother, Natasha was now nowhere to be seen.

“So I just get in, and drive?” Katie asked.

“Yup.” Tony gave her a nod his eyes shining in the light “Exactly the same way you got here.”

She paused, and then rushed round from her car to give him one final hug. “I miss you every single day.” She said, her breath catching in her throat.

“I know.” he smiled, his arms holding her close. “And I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

They stayed still for a moment, Tony’s chin resting on her head before she stepped back and looked into his brown eyes “I love you Tone. To the Stars...”

“…and back” Tony smiled, his own eyes brimming with tears as he sniffed slightly before he stepped back and she moved back to her car “Hey Kiddo…”

She turned to face him and he raised an eyebrow “Next time you have an existential crisis, maybe try and dream up somewhere hot, sandy…I hear Fiji is nice.”

Katie snorted and he shot her one last wink before he climbed into the Audi as she settled in the driver’s seat of the Camero, not sure exactly what the fuck was going to happen when she started driving, but following Tony’s lead she turned on the engine and drove up the drive. As the cars drew to the end where the little lane joined the road she drew level with Tony’s audi and he shot her one last smile as he turned left, and she turned right.

Leaning over she turned the radio on and had to smile as Drops of Jupiter rang out around her car.

Their song, hers and Tony’s. There wasn’t anything more perfect for the moment.

*****

“Em, keep an eye on this lot will you, I’m just gonna go put Floss down and wake your Ma.” Steve said, “Food should be here soon.”

“Sure.” Emmy nodded from where she was sat in the Den with Jamie, both of them mid game of Mario Karts. Harry was sat on the rug with a tonka truck whilst Rori was busy at the little table by the patio doors, sticking something into the Crap Book.

“Come on baby.” He said gently, Flossie nuzzling her face into his neck as he carried her up the stairs, feeling her yawn against his skin. He crossed the landing to her nursery and gently placed her in the crib, tucking the light blanket over her before he turned on the baby monitor and gently smoothed down her hair. Pulling the door to, he then made his way into their room and took a moment to look at Katie. She was led on her side, pillow clutched to her chest, her eye lids fluttering slightly. He moved towards the bed, and then frowned as she started to murmur.

“I love you Tone…” she sighed “To the Stars…”

Steve felt his heart catch, she was dreaming about her brother. He swallowed a little, the emotion of the moment washing over him and then she spoke again. “Stevie..where..I can’t see you…”

At that he walked over the floor, the carpet plush beneath his sock clad feet, and sat on the bed besides her, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Katie, sweetheart…come on.”

With a gasp she sat bolt upright, her eyes flying open, frantically searching the room.

“Hey, it’s ok…” Steve said as her eyes locked onto his, her breathing deep “You alright?”

“Yeah, I…” she swallowed and took a huge gulp of air in “I was dreaming and…” she took another deep breath “Tony and Nat were there, and it was so real and…”

He gently smoothed her hair back “It was just a dream sweetheart.” He said and he wrapped her in his arms, his hands softly rubbing at her beck. He felt her relax into his hold and as she pressed her face into his chest, he heard her sniff and her shoulders began to shake as she started to cry. “Oh honey…” he soothed as her sobs grew stronger, and Steve felt a lump in his own throat as she pressed harder into him. He hated seeing her like this. It worried him, scared him even. To see her struggling as she was it hurt him, more so because there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it other than comfort her. Deciding that would have to do for now, he gently pulled her onto his lap and she pressed further into him. He wrapped his strong arms around her as he rest his chin on top of her head, all the time gently rocking her to and fro. “It’s ok, let it out. I got you.”

“I saw so many memories…” she whispered as he dropped a kiss to her hair. “From years ago.”

“Good ones?” he asked, his hands rubbing up and down her back.

“Some of them.” She nodded “Others…well…”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

She stayed silent before she pulled back and glanced up at him “I was at the Compound, near our tree. And Tony and Nat appeared, said they had some stuff to show me. It was all like major moments and stuff…” she trailed off before she picked up again, laying her head back on his chest. “You weren’t in all of it, I went right back to before I even joined SHIELD. That was kind of nice actually, to see it from the outside so to speak. I found out it was Natasha that actually recommended me for recruitment, not Coulson as I thought…and the whole New Mexico thing with Thor was a ruse to get me to join…and then I saw the time we went to Niagara Falls.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled softly and she nodded before she looked back up at him, her brow furrowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to go into Stasis?”

Steve paused, and then looked at her, blinking slightly at the shock of what she’d just said. “What?”

“I saw you with Fury, telling him you’d decided not to go into stasis. You told him what I said you that day at the Falls, you know that the world had changed but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful…”

“How did…” Steve’s mouth dropped open. He’d never told anyone that SHILED had offered him the opportunity to go on Ice and be wheeled out when needed. As far as he knew that was between him and Fury.

“Nat and Tony told me that I was the reason you decided not to do it.” She looked at him. “Is that true?”

Steve swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Why did you not tell me?”

“I didn’t want to burden you.” He shrugged “You know, have you dealing with all the crap that was going on in my head. It wasn't your responsibility.”

“You were never a burden Steve.” Katie shook her head “You were my friend, I cared about you.”

“I know, but at the time, well my head was all over the place.” He gave her a sad smile as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was overwhelmed. I felt insecure and unsure about everything and I couldn't cope. I lost 70 years, and everyone I knew or cared about and it was just too much.”

“I wish you’d told me, I could have helped.”

“You did” he looked at her. “When I was around you, everything just became clearer and that day at Niagara, I realised I had to try and make it work. I can’t explain it any better than that, I just, decided to get busy living…”

“Shawshank.” Katie smiled and Steve let out a soft huff of a laugh as he nodded.

“Who told you?” Steve looked at her, “About the Stasis thing?”

“I just said, I saw it in the dream.” 

“Yeah, but someone must have told you before.” He pressed.

She shook her head “I never knew, not until I just saw it.”

Steve frowned, “How could you dream something you didn’t know about?”

She paused for a moment, and then shrugged. “I don’t know, I really don’t. Like I said, I had no idea it was Natasha that recruited me, or that the whole Thor thing was a set-up because they knew I’d turn them down until I saw something like that, something so whacked out that I couldn’t turn down the opportunity.” she looked at Steve “Maybe…, do you think I could have actually seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

“Honey, I…” he began to tell her that was ridiculous, but she spoke before he could. 

“You know what, it doesn’t matter.” Katie shrugged, wiping at her eyes before she gave a chuckle “I slapped him, Tony I mean. For dying.” Steve arched an eyebrow, smiling a little before she carried on “he was over the moon Parker ended up with Emmy, said they’ll make cute kids.”

Steve rolled his eyes and let out a groan “Seriously?”

Katie snorted “Yeah, and then demanded to know if we’d named Harry after Hank Pym…” she trailed off “Oh, and when I told him what you said about Rori, you know that she looks like me and has his attitude he was pretty pleased about the fact he’s been dead for 7 years and still managing to bug the crap out of you.”

At that Steve laughed “Sounds about right.”

Katie chuckled a little before the memory of the last scene flashed across her mind and she took a deep breath “I also saw that afternoon at the compound, you know when Emmy had her meltdown after she stole and how you told her that it takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.”  Katie whispered and Steve looked at her as she bowed her head “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner how I was feeling, I just thought I could cope and…”

“Hey, look.” He shook his head, his hands cupping her face “I should have noticed how bad things had gotten…”

“No, Steve…” she shook her head “I couldn’t even admit it to myself, how were you supposed to notice.”

“Because I’m your husband.” He said gently, his voice cracking. “It’s my job to look after you, help you, make you feel safe…”

“Oh Steve…” Katie moved so she was knelt up, and pressed her forehead to his “You do. More than you can ever know.” Her lips met his in a gentle kiss and she pulled back, her hand cupping his cheek. “I’ll make an appointment to see the doctor on Monday. Will you come with me?”

“Of course I will, you don’t need to ask.” He smiled, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her back into a hug. He kissed the top of her head again, and then pulled back. “I ordered dinner. I know you said you didn’t want anything but…well Em suggested a double cheeseburger might hit the spot.”

Katie grinned “Great, I’m starving.”

***** Katie was thrilled with the flowers the kids had picked for her, and thanked them all. Jamie gave her a huge hug, tearfully telling his mom he was sorry and that she was the best mom in the world and he loved her so much, before Emmy also apologised for being selfish and vowed never to do it again. And that was it, they drew a line under it and moved on. Because that was how things worked in the Rogers household. Together they sat and ate, chatted, joked, Steve all the time keeping one eye on Katie. He was glad she was feeling better, relieved that she’d agreed to get help, but the thing she’d said about him going into stasis was really, really puzzling him. How on EARTH could her subconscious drag up something she knew nothing about?

Excusing himself from the table under the guise of having left something in his car he wandered outside to take a little air and he felt Stark push past his legs. The dog bounded to the gate, where he stopped and peered through the wrought iron rails and gave a little whine, his ears picking up, tail wagging furiously.

“What is it buddy?” Steve asked, walking over to take a look and he frowned as the figure which was stood in the dark by the ornamental lamp that signalled the point where their driveway met the main road, and then another figure joined from the left, a female. The male turned to her, giving him a clear view of the outline of his profile and Steve swallowed. He’d recognise that nose anywhere, he looked at it on a daily basis on his wife’s face and that of 3 of his kids. As he watched the shadowy figures turned to face him, the long hair of the female catching the light with a flash of firey red. With a smooth action, the male raised his hand to his head and saluted, as the female folder her arms, her legs parting slightly as she took up a relaxed stance, both actions oh so painfully familiar...

Steve felt his heart thumping so strongly he thought it might beat out of his chest. He shook his head, blinked, rubbed his eyes and looked back.

Nothing.

Stark let out another whine, before he turned and headed back into the house, Steve hot on his tails.

“You alright Dad?” Emmy looked at him as she paused in the hallway, her hand on the door to the downstairs bathroom. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“2 actually.” Steve muttered, closing the door behind him.

“What?” Emmy frowned.

“Nothing, sorry.” He shook his head “Ignore me.”

Emmy gave him another puzzled look before she shrugged and pulled open the door, disappearing into the bathroom.

“Do you think I could have really seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

Katie’s voice flashed across Steve’s mind as he stood still, wiping a hand over his face. Before it had sounded ludicrous, in fact it still did. Ghosts? Really? Was that where he was right now, that he was starting to believe in the supernatural?

Mind you, he’d seen stuff far more ludicrous really when he thought about it…but, no. Absolutely not. It had been a trick of the light, his mind toying with him after what had been a very, emotional day, nothing more.

He shook his head and walked back to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to observe his family as they sat round the table, Rori said something that made Jamie and Katie laugh, and Harry grinned along with them.

But that said, if ghosts did exist… well then Steve couldn’t think of any other two people he’d rather have watching over them.

[rainbowshawn]

Yours

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve re-written this one. It’s a long one though so hopefully that makes up for it!! Anyways I’m a sucker for Jealous!Shawn fics so naturally I had to write my own. 

Summary: Shawn is determined to remind you who you belong to after an old friend crosses the line.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, language, jealousy, and absolute filth. (Dom!Shawn)

Word count: 7.6k

“Shawn, stop it”

You spot him rolling his eyes behind you in the mirror you were currently using to finish up your makeup. A smirk formed on his face as he watched you applying your highlighter.

“I didn’t do anything,”

“Uh-huh,” you drag, squinting your eyes at him.

A few of your old friends were in town and they had invited you to one of the new clubs in the city. It was an upscale venue and you had been absolutely dying to find an excuse to go. It also didn’t hurt that you had a dress collecting dust in your closet that was screaming to be worn. That little black dress had Shawn wrapped right around your finger and you knew it.

“Uh huuuh, that’s why you’ve been eye-fucking me back there for the past fifteen minutes,” you smirked coyly. He shifts from his spot on the bed and slowly makes his way over to you, his gaze growing more intense by the second.

“It’s not my fault you look this sexy, kitten,” he purrs, leaning down to graze your warm neck with his lips. “I think you’re trying to drive me crazy.”

You hum as you feel his lips pressing against your neck; your focus no longer on finishing your makeup. You roll your head back loving the feeling of his lips on your skin and his warm hands trailing up your stomach, getting dangerously close to your breasts. You reluctantly sit back up, shrugging off his affection in favor of getting back to your makeup.

“Don’t distract me, hornball,” you giggle, picking one of your brushes back up.

He sighs, sitting back on the bed as he licks his lips. You choose to ignore his boyish antics as you finish up your dark eyeshadow. He was already dressed and ready to go, only waiting on you so you two could head to the club.

“Who’s all gonna be there?” he inquires.

“Mmm, I think Kira, Lexi, Emmy, and Matt,” you say slowly, trying to apply your nude lipstick at the same time.

Shawn tenses at the mention of the last name. Matt was an old friend, nothing more, but he knows from stories you had told him that Matt used to have a crush on you. You had always insisted that it was nothing, just some stupid high school crush, and Shawn believes you. He really does. But he can’t stop his mind from going into defense mode, suddenly anxious about you being around someone who had wanted you for so long.

He knows it’s wrong and he trusts you. One-hundred percent. So he swallows the feeling and scolds himself internally for feeling this way. 

You eye yourself in the mirror, unaware of Shawn being lost in his thoughts behind you. Your skin is glowing and your eyeshadow makes your eye stand out than it already does. You snatch up your phone that was faintly playing music and snap a few selfies in the mirror. You had to admit it; this look had you feeling super confident. Your makeup came out just right and you took the opportunity to get some cute photos out of it.

“Hey, Bubba,” your voice snapped him out of his trance, “c’mere.”

His head snaps up and he blinks quickly, getting out of his head. You’re looking at him in the mirror, your phone still held up in your hand and he catches onto what you want. He smiles as he comes over to your vanity, crouching down to be level with you as you wrap your arm around his neck.

Your faces squish together and he can’t help the blush that appears on his face as you take a few photos. He smirks as you push your lips out in a flirty pose. He chuckles as he shifts to press a kiss to your cheek as you snap more photos.

“Mmm, my pretty girl,” he says lowly, his tone sounding deeper than normal.

You shivered as you looked back through the photos, smiling as you take a liking to the one of him kissing your face.

“We look so cute,” you smile, posting the photo on your story.

“Don’t we always?”

—

The bustle of the party was a bit disorienting when you first arrived. Shawn has his arm around wrapped protectively your waist as you take in the modern club. People brush by quickly as the music pumps through the busy room. You take a moment to scan the busy area for your friends until you stumble upon a familiar face.

“Matt!”

You smile as you see the tall blonde take notice of your presence. He makes his way over to you in large strides, instantly grabbing you up into a strong hug, your laugh filling the crowded air.

“Y/N! God, it’s been yeeears!”

“I know! How have you been?” you say, beaming at him. His arms stay wrapped around you as you two speak. You’re so taken aback at your reunion that you don’t take any notice but Shawn sure does. His jaw clenches as he watches the exchange.

You go back and forth with Matt, catching up with each other briefly before Shawn clears his throat. Your attention shifts and you quickly separate from your old friend, laughing when you realize you never introduced the boys.

“Oh, duh, Matt, this is my boyfriend Shawn” you glance over at Shawn, grabbing onto his arm to introduce them.

“Nice to meet you man,” Shawn says, extending his hand out to Matt. He notices Matt’s eyes scaling your body before he snaps out of it and shakes his hand. Shawn makes sure to grip his hand extra hard, sending him a quiet signal of dominance.

“Yeah. Nice to meet you,” Matt mumbles out, still a bit distracted by your figure in your tight dress.

You remain oblivious to the exchange, smiling up at Shawn.

Some time passes and you end up in one of the large mahogany booths in the club with the group. Kira and Lexi were busy scanning the room for cute guys, hoping Toronto would be a jackpot for them. Emmy was talking to you about her trip to Iceland with her new executive boyfriend. You listen and chuckle. Still as pretentious as ever.

You’re seated between Shawn and Lexi, Matt, Kira, and Emmy directly across from you. The conversation shifts and the group starts talking about old times. You giggle at Emmy’s story of Lexi getting blackout drunk at a party you had all went to years ago, where she puked all over the guy she was trying to hook up with.

“Y/N, you remember when we used to skip school and go out to that creek? I’ll never forget when you slipped on the rocks and busted your ass,” Matt laughs out, “I had to carry you outta there and then somehow explain to your mom what we were doing down there.”

Shawn’s brows furrow as he wonders what you two were busy doing. He feels guilty for feeling uneasy about Matt. He’s never been the jealous type but he can’t seem to get past the looks he’s seen Matt giving you all night. He’s not stupid. He shifts in his seat and guides his hand onto your thigh, holding onto it protectively.

“How could I forget?” you laugh, hiding your face in your hands.

“I can’t count how many times I’ve had to take care of your clumsy ass,” he chuckles.

You quickly down the rest of your drink and interject before you can be further embarrassed in front of Shawn.

“On that note,” you interrupt, shooting matt a teasing glare, “Why are we just sitting here, guys? Let's go dance!”

You tug Shawn up, walking backward as you pull him towards the dance floor. You beam up at him, giggling as he takes in your figure, smiling at you. He knows he’s in for a long night.

You embrace the loud music and low lights as you feel the alcohol start to hit you. You dance to the top 10 hits blaring through the speakers, laughing the whole time. Shawn just watches you, a smile plastered on his face as he observes your drunken antics.

“You’re adorable,” he giggles at your dancing.

“Mmmm I know,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, “Now let loose a little, loverboy. Show me those moves.”

—

Shawn had just reluctantly left you to grab some more drinks at the bar. After a while of being apart from the group, you see Matt making his way back over to you through the packed crowd. He stumbles along to the loud beat pumping through the club and you cock your head, observing him. His eyes rake over you and you suddenly notice the look hungry look on his face. Once he reaches you, his hand settles onto your lower back and he pulls you into him as he speaks over the obnoxiously loud pop song.

“Can I get you a drink?” he shouts, “My treat.”

You notice his eyes mentally undressing you and you giggle, unsure of how to respond.

“I think I’m okay,” you say, wiggling in his tight grasp as he grinds into you, dancing to the song. Shawn sees the exchange from the bar and immediately starts walking back to you with jealousy pumping through his veins.

“Matt, seriously stop, you’re being weird,” you half chuckle, still confused by the situation. Matt just shushes you and moves his hands towards your hips.

Shawn immediately steps over towards you, hand snaking around your waist and brushing Matt’s hands off of your body.

“She’s good, man,” Shawn blurts out; his tone a bit stronger than normal. “Hands off.”

Your timid eyes shift over to him, noticing his jaw clenching. His cheekbones looked extra defined and his jawline somehow seemed sharper than usual. You bit your lip at his dominant demeanor, suddenly distracted from the tense situation playing out in front of you.

“Woah, man,” Matt defends, “I think I was talking to the Y/N, not you.”

Shawn’s arm grips your waist tighter, and you feel him stand up straighter next to you. You hear the slur of Matt’s words and piece together that he’s beyond drunk. He had never been a big drinker and you had only seen him drunk a handful of times in high school. You were surprised at his bold advances towards you.

“Don’t think it matters,” Shawn spits, standing up straighter and towering over the blonde. He shifts to step towards Matt, moving your body behind his, “That’s my girl.”

“Guys,” you move to press your palm into Shawn’s chest and step between them, hoping to deescalate the situation. You shoot matt a glare as you see him open his mouth back up to reply. “Knock it off.”

“Whatever, man,” Matt scoffs and backs up, rolling his eyes as he disappears back into the crowd.

“What the fuck?”

“He’s been practically eye-fucking you all night!” Shawn defends himself.

“Shawn,” you trail, placing your hands on the sides of his face. He turns his head to the side, avoiding your gaze.

You squint your eyes before laughing teasingly, “You’re so jealous.”

“Am not,” he grumbles.

You turn his face, making him look at you as you squint up at him.

“Whatever you say,” you trail. “But really. He’s just drunk. He’s just my friend.”

His arms wrap around your waist and pull you to his warm body. He presses his hips into your stomach and you have to hold back a groan as you feel him grind against you.

“I don’t care,” He cranes his head down to murmur into your ear, “You’re mine.”

You groan lightly at his words; the sound lost amongst the bustle of the loud room. His lips are suddenly pressed against your neck and he nips at the skin teasingly. His hands are settled on your hips and you feel his grip tighten as he pulls you closer.

His lips trail up from your shoulder to your ear where he whispers darkly,

“How about we get out of here, kitten? Need you. Want you to myself. That dress is driving me fucking crazy,”

—

The ride back to the apartment felt like an eternity as you wound through the busy streets of Toronto. You and Shawn were in the back of an uber, trying your best not to pounce on each other. The tension was tangible as his hand rested on your thigh; his fingers drawing light circles on your sensitive skin. You bit your lip and looked out the window trying to distract yourself from his teasing.

You roll your head and look at Shawn through your heavy lids. A small smile plays at your lips as you eye the beautiful man next to you. His features are relatively lost amongst the dark environment of the car, but the dim light trickling in from the window dances across his face. He’s shifted, meeting your gaze as you rub a hand up his arm that was in your lap. His lips look extra plump as he shoots you a smirk and it takes all your strength not to latch onto him right there.

“Like what you see, dear?” he asks, knowing full well, of course you do.

“Mmm,” you hum as you press a kiss to his lips; finding them to be too hard to resist. Your hand sneaks it’s way up to rest on top of his semi-hard bulge and Shawn bites at your lip in an attempt to keep quiet.

Luckily, you don’t have too much time to get any more lost in him as you pull up to the apartment the two of you share. He’s out in an instant, faster than you could blink, reaching a hand out to help you out of the low car.

Somebody’s eager.

He tugs you through the lobby quickly, occasionally stealing glances back at you while you trail behind him. You enter the elevator, pressing the button a few times in a faulty hope that it’ll go faster. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you to him, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“When we get inside I want you to naked and kneeling on the bed,” he murmurs into your hair, “alright, princess?”

You bite your lip and nod your head. Your legs clench together at the nickname, the heat between your legs growing warmer. You know exactly what mood he was in tonight and you know he’s not playing any games. The doors finally open and you shift to dash out, feeling a slap connect with your ass. You look back to find Shawn grinning and biting his lip as he admires your figure from behind. You roll your eyes and continue on your way.

Once you two make it inside, you’re tugging your hair to the side, silently asking him to unzip your form-fitting dress. His hands dance up your sides and you feel his breath fanning against your neck as he slowly pulls the zipper down. You reach down to pull your sleek stilettos off but Shawn’s hand quickly grabs your arm.

“Keep the heels on.”

You raise your eyebrows but decide not to say anything, standing back up. You smirk as you turn around, making your way into your bedroom. You make quick work of your dress, pulling it off of your body, followed by your bra and panties. You discard them haphazardly on the floor.

You crawl onto the bed and sit back on your heels as you wait for him. Your breathing is quicker than normal, exciting anxiety coursing through your veins. You simultaneously love and hate the anticipation he’s forcing you to endure but you remind yourself that it would pay off in the end. He always left you satisfied.

After a few minutes of silently waiting, you finally see Shawn’s tall figure emerge into the dimly lit room. He’s still dressed in his tight slacks, fitting his toned legs perfectly, and his white button-up. His left hand is behind his back and you press your legs together tightly as you watch him approach you. He makes his way over until he’s stood right in front of you, gripping your jaw tightly, making you look up at him. His warm fingers press into your skin firmly, making heat pool between your legs.

“Gonna be a good girl for me?” he murmurs deeply.

“Yes,” you whimper.

“Yes what?” his grip on your face tightens and he furrows his brows at you.

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good.”

His tone is dark and seductive and it sends jolts through your chest. He reveals what he has hidden in his hand behind his back; silky red ribbon. Your eyes widen as your mouth drops open ever so slightly. He smirks at your expression, making his way around the bed silently and crawling up to kneel behind you. He firmly grabs your hands that are still placed politely in your lap and moves them to sit behind you. You feel the soft ribbon wrapping tightly around your wrists and sigh at the feeling of the smooth fabric rubbing against your skin.

You feel him finish off the knot off and press a kiss to your shoulder before he makes his way in front of you again. Your eyes trail up his figure as he watches you. You feel your core aching as you take notice of the outline of his hard cock in his tight slacks. You sigh and wiggle a bit on the bed, getting impatient for his next move.

“You look so pretty like this,” he murmurs while his eyes take you in. “Tied up and waiting for me.”

His fingers start unbuttoning his shirt as his eyes remain on yours. His gaze is unfaltering and intense; confidence dripping off of him. He shrugs the white material off his shoulders and reaches for the buckle of his belt. He tugs the band off of his hips and places it on the bed next to you. You hold back a groan as he slowly unbuttons his pants and tugs them down his legs, revealing his flushed member.

“Like what you see, princess?”

“Mhm,” you nod quickly, wanting him to get to it. He smirks at your response.

He steps closer to you, your face level with his cock. He’s rubbing himself in front of you as he smirks down at you, cockily. Your heartbeat is thumping in your ears as you drown in anticipation.

“Wanna see those pretty lips wrapped around me,” he whispers, pushing the tip to your slightly parted lips.

You press a kiss to his slit as you look up at him. His hand is still rubbing his member as you kitten lick the tip of his aching cock. Shawn’s other hand makes its way into your hair, resting on top of your head and tugging you forward gently. You take his hint and wrap your lips around his tip. You press your tongue to the underside of his warm cock and swirl it around. His brows are furrowed as he watches you suck on his sensitive tip.

His grip on your hair tightens, signaling that he wants more and who are you to deny that? You inch your mouth further down his length until he’s just about to your throat. You bob your head, sucking your cheeks in and moaning against him. His head is thrown back and beautiful sighs leave his lips.

“Come on babygirl, I know you can take more of me than that,” he suggests, gently pushing your head further down on him.

Your fists are clenched behind you as you focus on relaxing your throat. You feel his cock stretching your throat out and you stay there for a moment. He groans at the feeling of your tight throat gagging slightly around him. He pulls out for a moment, letting you catch your breath before he shoves himself back inside.

“Gonna let me fuck that pretty face?” he grunts as he starts to roll his hips. The sounds of your slight gags fill the room as he shoves his cock down your tight throat. His gaze is fixated on your eyes as you look up at him through your lashes. His cheeks are rosy and he groans at the sight of your eyes watering while drool drips down your mouth onto the bed. What a dirty sight.

He continues his thrusts for a few moments before he pulls you off of him quickly. You gasp, trying to catch your breath after his brutal treatment. You chuckle breathlessly, smirking up at him as you lick your lips. His thumb comes down to wipe at your wet chin, tugging your lip in the process.

“Such a good girl,” he trails, staring at your fucked face.

He comes back behind you, untying your wrists and rubbing at them gently to soothe them. He tosses the silk ties to the side, deciding he wants you to feel him tonight. All of him. He rubs your tight shoulders for a brief moment as he kisses your neck. You relax at the feeling of his warm lips dressing your neck in wet kisses.

“I want you to lay back for me,” he whispers in your ear, sending a chill down your spine, “spread your legs.”

You comply quickly after he shifts on the bed, standing up. You relax back into the mattress and bring your knees up a bit and spread your legs wide for him. You lick your lips and wiggle on the bed a little bit as you watch him walk to the end of the bed, eyeing you like you’re his pretty. You catch his eyes trailing up from your stilettos up to your center.

He’s crawling up the bed, eyes fixated on your wet core. His normally bright hazel eyes are clouded and lustful now. When you catch sight of his hungry eyes, you giggle at him. You feel a slight cockiness fill your head when you realize how weak he really is for you. His face doesn’t move but his eyes flick up to you, glaring at you, wondering what you find so funny. His dark eyes stay trained on yours, squinting a bit as he lowers himself onto his stomach and starts pressing kisses to your warm stomach. Your muscles contract at the feeling of his teasing kisses trailing down towards your center, dripping for him.

His warm lips trail across your stomach, hip to hip, and his breath fans lightly against your skin. You sigh and close your eyes as you feel him tease you.

“What do you want princess?” he inquires, knowing damn well what you want. You decide an attitude is far from what he wants though and conclude that if you just be good, he’ll give you exactly what you want.

“Your mouth, Shawn” you whimper, “please.”

“Mmm, what was that?”

“D-daddy,” you stutter, realizing your mistake, “I want your mouth, Daddy.”

You glance down at him and see him smirking up at you.

“Mmm, that’s right, dear.”

His teasing continues only for a moment before you feel his hands reach the fold of your knees, pushing your legs open even wider for him. He presses a few kisses to your aching clit before inching his tongue out to slide against you. You whimper and feel your stomach clench at the sensation.

His tongue is rubbing wet circles against your sensitive nub and you’re absolutely reeling. Your back arches as Shawn’s lips suck your clit up into his mouth and pop it out a few times before he returns to flicking at it with his tongue. Moans vibrate against you as he grunts at the feeling of your hands pulling at his wild curls. He can’t help but rut his hips slightly against the bed as he focuses on pleasing you with his mouth. Even though he was fully in control, his goal was only to please you.

“Love this pretty pussy,” he groans, detaching his mouth from your core to stare down at it in amazement, “all mine.”

You whine, “All yours.”

He’s quick to dive back in and you’re absolutely lost in the feeling of his mouth, completely unaware when his long fingers wedge themselves inside of you. Your whimpers have turned into full-fledged moans, choking out into the quiet air. Shawn’s digits curl up and thrust into your spongy spot as his mouth continues to work you. You’re tossing your head around as you wither at the pleasure, unable to keep your composure.

He feels you tightening around his fingers, silently signaling to him that your high is approaching and he pumps for a few more moments before pulling off of you completely. He watches in amazement as your core clenches around nothing.

“Mmm, babygirl, you’re throbbing,” Shawn mewls, his eyes divulging in the delicious sight.

You’re whimpering and trying to pull him back to you with your heels, aching for your stolen orgasm, but he’s got other plans for you. He sits back on his knees before he wraps his strong arms around your legs, tugging you closer to him. Your thighs are rested upon his as his hands rub your hips as you lay on your back.

“P-please daddy,” you plead, grabbing at your breasts, aching for the release he’s so torturously denying you.

His lips have crashed against you, all tongue and teeth, moving in time with yours.

“Please what, love?” his nose grazes the shell of your ear, nipping at your earlobe. You shiver at the contact. “What do you want?”

You grumble, rolling your neck and pouting, suddenly frustrated with his teasing, “You know what I want, now give it to me.”

“Mmm, now that’s no way to talk to Daddy, hm?” he says turning his head and squinting his eyes down at you. A hand snakes up to your neck, gripping just beneath your jaw and pressing into your skin. You moan out as a delicious pressure fills your head as he squeezes gently.

His grip on your throat tightens a bit and you feel him rut his hips into yours, creating a beautiful shock of friction.

“I thought you said you were gonna be good for me? Naughty girls don’t get what they want,” he whispers, darkly into your ear. You shudder at the feeling of his grip. “Lay on your stomach. Now.”

The proposition was a demand, not a request and you knew that. You flipped quickly on the bed, feeling him straddle your thighs. Shawn’s hands took purchase on your ass, pawing at you, firmly. He squeezed your cheeks in his hands and spread you open. A growl leaves his chest as he looks down at you.

“Love this ass,” he says, “Too bad I’m gonna have to spank it.”

Your breath hitches as you realize what he’s doing. A storm of butterflies has festered in your stomach as you anticipate the first smack. His large hand raises and slaps across your right side. You tense up, groaning into the blanket beneath you. You feel your wetness dripping onto the bed and you wiggle your ass for him, prompting him further.

“Mmm my dirty little girl likes to be spanked, doesn’t she?” he murmurs darkly, squeezing you in his hands.

“Fuckin’ love it, Daddy, keep going,” you beg.

“You’re not supposed to enjoy your punishment but since you look so damn sexy, I’ll let it pass.”

He alternates hands for the next few minutes, slapping your ass red. Each one hurts a bit more but you love the painful bite. You feel his rock hard length pressed against the back of your thighs as he continues your punishment, eventually coming to a stop after he’s satisfied. You sigh as you feel his weight leave your thighs.

His hands grab your ankles, just above your heels and yank you quickly so you’re flipped back onto your back. You giggle in surprise and he smiles down at you as he crawls up your body. Your smile sends electricity through his soul and he swears his knees go weak for a moment.

“Love that laugh, dear. You’re so fucking gorgeous," he whispers into your lips, pressing a deep kiss to them. You hum and rub your hands up his bare chest, feeling his light dusting of hair and eventually settling your arms around the back of his neck.

His body leans into yours, effectively pushing his length against your center. You whine a bit, suddenly impatient to feel him. He continues to rut his hips against you, effectively teasing you. You almost slip up and tell him to get to it, but you decide to bite the words behind your lips. After a few moments, his desire overpowers his wish to ease and he finally pulls away to sit back on his heels and slide his pink tip against you. He swirls it around your clit for a moment, wanting to hear you beg for him. You choke out a moan at the sensation and grab aimlessly at him.

“What do you want?” he mutters; his voice raspy and deeper than normal and suddenly very close to your ear, “Beg for it.”

“I want you to fuck me,” you whine, wiggling against him, “God, please fuck me, Daddy.”

“Mmm, you want me to fuck you, babygirl?”

“Fuck, yes. Please, please, please,” you pant as his tip moves faster against your clit.

You gasp as he slams into you without warning, bottoming out instantly. Your stomach clenches at the tight fit and your eyes widen. He gives you a fraction of a moment to adjust to his size before he starts rocking his hips into you. His pace isn’t slow, but it’s not particularly fast either. Shawn wants to make sure you feel it all tonight. He wants to make you feel good. He wants to remind you.

You sigh at the feeling of him slipping in and out of you and close your eyes. His hands are gripping your hips firmly, holding you in place as he slowly picks up his speed. The sound of his hips slapping against yours echoes off the walls and the groans leaving both of your mouths blend with it to create a sinful harmony.

“Such a good girl takin’ all of me.” his voice disrupts, “That’s my pretty girl,”

His hands leave your hips in favor of moving to your tits where he squeezes you tightly. Shawn’s hips don’t stop rutting into for a second as he smacks your chest, watching your tits bounce against his abrupt slap.

Sweat is gathering on his forehead and his flushed chest. His cheeks are rosy and his mouth is hanging open slightly as he moans into the air. Your eyes stay on his rosy cheeks and those damn lips. They were pink as ever and if he wasn’t fucking you so well you’d be attached to them right now.

His abs contract as he slams into you at a brutal pace. You’re whining mindlessly, not particularly making any sense. Your breathing is jagged and you roll your head around, drunk on the pleasure Shawn is providing.

“That tight little pussy is squeezing me so good,” his dark stare bores into your eyes, “I wanna fuck it all night.”

“Do it then, Daddy.” you say playfully, “Love the feeling of your cock filling me up.”

“Gonna make you come over and over on my cock, babygirl. Sound good?”

There’s no time to respond as he switches his angle slightly, making a high pitched yelp fall from your mouth as his tip hits your sensitive spot. You nod your head quickly, words failing to slip out of your mouth.

His hands slot under your knees and throw them over his shoulders. He grunts at the feeling of your stilettos scratching against his back.

“These heels are so fucking sexy. You’ve been driving me nuts all night, kitten.”

“Mmm that’s the goal,” you giggle, biting your lip while you arch your back.

Shawn throws his head back as he feels you clench around him, his adam’s apple protruding deliciously. You prop yourself up on your elbows and peak down at where the two of you meet. His length is glistening with your juices as he slides in and out of you with ease.

“Look how pretty that pussy looks, takin’ my cock,”

You whine at the sight of his hand reaching up to rub your clit quickly. The added friction was just what you needed to go hurdling towards your release. He lowers himself to dress your neck in hot kisses, dragging from your shoulder to your ear. Your senses are overcome with all of him. In this moment, he is everything.

“Gonna cum, babygirl? Cum on daddy’s cock, give it to me” he chants into your ear, encouraging your impending release.

You let go at the sound of his smooth voice praising you. His pace falters slightly as he feels you throbbing around him but he’s determined to hold out longer for you. He told you that you would cum multiple times tonight and he was always a man of his word.

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you embraced the euphoric feeling. Choked moans left your chest incessantly and Shawn could feel his cock throb at the sound. His thrusting eventually slows a bit after he helps you ride it out, and he pulls himself out of you, giving you a moment to collect yourself.

You’re lying on the bed, absolutely spent. Your breathing is slow and deep, trying to come back down to earth. You close your eyes for a moment but are interrupted by Shawn tapping your hip.

“Lay on your side. Now.”

You comply and quickly roll onto your side, still a bit lost in your bliss. One elbow props you up and you look behind your shoulder as Shawn slots himself next to you, spooning your body.

“Leg up,” he demands, cupping your thigh with his hand and propping it up. He grabs his member and swiftly slips in back inside of you. You whimper at the little pop it takes for him to slip in. He grunts and hisses once he’s slotted all the way inside of you, “Fuck, baby, you’re so tight I barely fit.”

“Mmm, you’re so thick, daddy.” you whimper as he begins his strokes again.

“This pussy is what dreams are made of, Jesus fucking Christ. Could die like this, babe.”

The angle he’s working you at is surprisingly heavenly. His body fits perfectly against yours and he feels so close. His thrusts aren’t quite as fast this way but they feel intensely intimate. You can feel his breath fanning across your shoulder as he slots his face in the crook of your neck. Warmth radiates off of his body, transferring to yours.

The world has fallen away and you’re completely relaxed against his strong body. His long fingers have made their way back to your clit again, swirling wildly. His sighs are close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine. His lips continue working against your neck and he nips at your earlobe.

“Love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, “don’t forget it.”

You melt further into him, his sweet words sharply contrasting the filthy situation.

“I love you too, Shawn”

His nose nuzzles into your hair and you close your eyes, listening to the sounds falling from his lips. He’s trying so hard to hold out for you, wanting to prolong your pleasure. He shifts a tad, finding that spot again and quickly sends you over the edge.

You wiggle against him, your second orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave. The sound of your cries takes his breath away and he’s determined to hear it at least once more tonight. Pleasure pumps through your body for a few moments and he’s quick to get you on your knees the second you’re done. He shows absolutely no mercy as his tip rubs against your sensitive core, getting ready to slip in once again.

“Shawny, I’m so sensitive,” you whimper, pulling away from him slightly.

His hands grab your hips and roughly pull you back to him.

“You’re gonna give me another one, sweetheart. I gotta remind you who makes you feel this good.”

So that’s what this is about.

Fuck, he’s hot when he’s jealous.

A hand slaps across your ass and you flinch at the feeling, body jolting forward a bit. Shawn’s fingers slip down to rub against your over-stimulated nub and you go weak in the knees. You fall forward, face mashing against the mattress as his fingers spiral against you.

“Sound good, love? Gonna cum for daddy again?”

You nod quickly, your cheek pulling against the mattress you were laid out on. Another slap meets your skin and you groan.

“I need you to say it, baby.” he searches for your verbal consent.

“Yes, Shawn,” you whine, eager to feel him again, “Make me cum on your cock again, please.”

That’s all he needs to bury himself back inside of you. The position you were in made you feel a bit tighter and you winced for a moment as he started moving. Soon, the pain subsided and his pace picked back up to an unbelievable speed. Your jaw was slack as his hips collided with yours. His hands were situated on your waist and he was holding you as-if you would disappear at any moment. His composure was beginning to falter and his moans slowly turned into choked mewls.

You turned your head to attempt to look at him and the sight was beautiful. His head was thrown back, exposing all the valleys on his long neck. His adam’s apple protruded through his smooth skin and his lip was tucked under his straight teeth. His mouth falls open as he picks his head back up to look where the two of you meet. The sight of your wetness soaking him sends chills down his spine. He can’t believe how lucky he got with you.

He catches your eyes and smirks at you before he slaps your ass.

“Like that? Does my good girl like to get fucked from behind?”

“You feel so fucking good like this, daddy, fuuuuck” your voice bounces as his body collides with yours.

“You get so tight after you cum. You feel like fucking heaven.”

You start to meet his deep thrusts, tossing your hips back to meet his pace. He maintains his efforts for a few moments but eventually lets you take what you need of him. He’s absolutely beside himself as he watches you work him.

“Fuuuck, babygirl. That’s it, fuck yourself on my cock,” he growls, “you look so gorgeous like this.”

Shawn lets you go on like this for a bit before he snaps out of his daze. He’s determined to stay in control tonight. He’s determined to remind you who you belong to. Nobody could make you feel this good.

His hips double down, somehow rutting into you even faster than before. You fall silent for a few moments, unable to process how amazing he’s making you feel. Your legs are shaking slightly but his large hands hold you in place, firmly. His mind is consumed by you. Nothing could ever take you from him. No one. He knows he doesn’t have to prove himself, but God is it fun.

“Gonna cum again, baby? I can feel it,” he grumbles while his hands rub your hips and waist. Your words don’t seem to form as high whimpers tumble off of your lips.

“Who makes you feel this good?” he growls, thrusting harshly.

“You do, Shawn,”

“That’s right, only I can fuck you like this,” his dirty words fall out of his mouth like silk, “only me.”

“Only you, Shawny.”

Moans fill the air as you both reach your final highs of the night. Your center throbs around him, milking him for all he’s worth. His chest heaves as he empties himself inside of you. The sound of heavy breathing soaks into the air as you both come down from your explosive highs.

His hands rub across your back as he pulls himself out of you. You sigh at the loss, feeling your juices dripping out of you and down your legs. His fingers spread you apart and his hungry eyes divulge in the dirty sight. You giggle innocently as you push some of it out. It takes everything he has to stop himself from making you go for another round. He smacks your ass playfully and you lower yourself onto your stomach.

Shawn slips off of the bed and makes his way into the dimly lit bathroom for a moment. You bite your lip as you observe his naked figure walking back into the room. He notices your stare and giggles, “Eyes to yourself, pervert,”

“Mmm, rich coming from the man that just made me cum 3 times.” you wittily reply.

“Damn right I did,” he smiles cockily. “Lay on your back, open your legs.”

“Just can’t get enough of me can you?” you giggle, turning over for him. He rolls his eyes and crouches down onto the bed.

“Just wanna clean you up.”

He gently wipes up your mess, paying special attention to be careful with your sensitive core. You smile down at him as you observe his tender care. A kiss is pressed into your tummy before he moves to toss the cloth into the hamper. He stops at your dresser, snagging one of his big t-shirts for you along with a pair of panties and some boxers for himself.

He quickly slips into the black boxers, stumbling over to the bed. You’re still laid across it, spent after your session.

“Can you sit up for me, love?”

You comply and sit up, pressing your lips out and silently asking for a kiss. He smiles and delivers, giving you a soft peck.

“Arms up.”

You lift your arms and he slides the shirt down your arms and over your head, draping you in his favorite shirt. He has you lay back and he tugs a clean pair of panties on you and quickly plops himself on top of you.

His arms squeeze your waist as his head burrows into your neck. You hum at the feeling of his weight on top of you, providing you with a sense of comfort. He melts into your embrace as your small hands run up and down his back. He always gets so soft after the two of you finish; a stark contrast to his dominant demeanor in bed.

“Bubba?” you chirp quietly.

“Hmm,” he hums into your neck, suddenly sleepy.

“You okay?”

“Mhm,”

You frown a little, shifting under him to prop your head against the headboard. He stirs on top of you, avoiding your gaze by staying buried in your neck. Your hand slowly comes to a stop on his back as your mind became preoccupied.

“Are you still upset about Matt?”

He sighs.

“I don’t know, I guess.”

Your frown grows and your hand moves to continue rubbing his soft skin in a feeble attempt to comfort him.

“Yeah?” you inquire, prompting him. He hesitates, still buried in your neck. He feels like he could die of embarrassment if you look at him.

“It’s dumb.” he sighs, trying to avoid the topic.

“If it’s upsetting you, it isn’t dumb.”

His grip around your waist tightens.

“You’re just mine,” he starts. You wait a moment, seeing if he’ll explain further, “I don’t wanna share you.”

“You don’t have to, baby. I’m yours.” you reason, threading your fingers into his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I know, that’s why it’s dumb. I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you or anything. I just didn’t like seeing him touch you like that.”

You hum, resting your face on his head. His legs are tangled up with yours as he pecks your neck.

“He was just drunk. I’m sorry though, bubby. I didn’t think it would happen.”

His head pops up suddenly, his brows furrowed as he shoots you a confused look. Your eyebrows raise, confused by his sudden movement.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” he blurts, concern lacing his soft voice. “I’m the jealous asshole boyfriend. I should be the sorry one.”

You giggle at his serious tone, smacking his bare shoulder lightly, “whatever,”

“Seriously! I shouldn’t be jealous. I trust you completely. I just got a weird vibe. I don’t know,” he trails off at the end, laying his head back down in your neck.

“I know you do. I love you more than anything and there’s nothing on this earth that could ever take me from you.”

He smiles against your skin, cheeks warming up immediately.

“I love you. Forever.” he murmurs, lifting his head to press a kiss to your lips.

“I love you too. Forever.”

The moment slows again, your bodies resting against the other. The conversation shifts, the two of you decided there was nothing to really talk about. You know he trusts you, and you know he’s not truly jealous. He just got a little territorial and you couldn’t blame him.

“So, what happened to that ribbon you used to tie my hands?” you giggle, switching the conversation.

His eyebrows raise at your question and he blushes, getting worried that you didn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t the first time you’d done anything like that but he still got a tinge of worry.

“Um, I just wanted to feel you,” he slowly states, “w-was it okay?”

“Mmm more than okay. So sexy,” you giggle, stroking his hair. “Just thought you’d use it again.”

“Maybe I will sometime,” he hums, dressing your neck with kisses.

His kisses trail your skin lazily, “Mine.”

“Yours.”

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

two years too late, chapter f i f t e e n

Carly was seated cross-legged on your couch, a beer on the coffee table in front of her when you handed over her plate of lo-mein. She showed up with a smile, not the kind that seemed disingenuous or fake. She’d already texted along her order and said she was excited to see Alyssa, too, who was now cursing under her breath as she tried to balance her plate on her lap. 

“We need a bigger kitchen table,” she said, chopsticks held between her teeth as she gathered her hair on top of her head. “For when we have company.”

You took your seat between them both, a sigh escaping your lips when you sunk into the cushions. You had know idea how this would go, but you figured it was good practice for telling Whitney. 

“You can sit at the table if you’d like,” you reminded Alyssa--who made a face in your direction once she secured her hair into a bun. 

“And miss the spilling of the tea? No way.”

“It’s not tea,” you tried to dismiss her. 

“Oh don’t be so nonchalant. Just tell her,” she motioned in Carly’s direction, who’s eyes widened when you caught her with a mouthful of noodles. “She sees through you.”

She struggled to swallow but then laughed. “I do. Spill.”

Another sigh. You took a bite and let the silence simmer in the room. Your day at work had been long and busy, your feet hurt from walking the entire way home, but you’d hoped that the fresh air would clear your mind. It didn’t. 

“So--you know that Harry and I are friends.”

She nodded, pulled her knees up to her chest and took another bite of take away. 

“And that I’m writing this story about him for work.”

Another nod--now her eyebrows were furrowed as if she didn’t know where you were going with it. 

You paused--realizing that you also didn’t know where you were going with it. 

“They were doing it for a while,” Alyssa said it quickly, her eyes glued to you when your head swiveled quickly to see her. You pulled a face--Carly seemed to look at you with wide eyes. When you turned back to her, a wave of insecurity flooded through you. 

“What? Why are you making that face?”

“I just--I dunno--I suspected it but I’m still surprised.”

“Why?” Your voice was smaller, tinged with the low self-esteem that had always lingered. 

“Well, because he’s Harry Styles,” she said, her eyes getting wider when she spoke again. “I never thought I’d meet him let alone know someone who’s having sex with him.”

“Well it’s past tense,” you clarified. “Was having sex. Not any more.”

She let out a laugh, a sympathetic look crossed her face before she reached to take another pull from her beer. “Can you just give me actual details and explain what the hell has been going on?”

You let out a groan, letting your head fall back against the couch when you closed your eyes. “It was nothing at first--I mean, like I told you. We’d been friends, we lost touch, reconnected, the usual.”

“Yeah but at some point someone decided that intercourse would spice it up,” Alyssa let out a chuckle before she set her plate down. Carly laughed too, her eyes still on you to give her more information. 

“I guess I just always liked him,” you admitted, shoulders slumping when Alyssa dumped more food on her plate from the white box in front of you. “But I didn’t think anything would happen--I mean, I just thought he was being friendly when he invited us to that show.”

“So when did it change? When did it become more than friendly?” She laughed a little, surprisingly calm when you twirled your fork in the heap of noodles in your bowl. 

“Basically when we went home for Christmas.”

“So when I came over here and we watched basketball you were jumping in bed with him after?”

Alyssa stifled a laugh--mostly because she knew that was the first time he slept over.

“No,” you rolled your eyes. “We--well, when we were home for Christmas and New Years he kissed me. And then we came back and things were obviously, you know, different.”

“So I’ll take it the fight wasn’t about wine--which, it’s not like I ever really believed that.”

You pursed your lips, guilt settling on your cheeks in a flushed red. “The reason we aren’t hanging out any more is because he was seeing someone else.”

“What?! Who?!”

Your stomach dropped at the look on her face--one of excitement, not concern for a friend. You wondered, for a second, if it was your place to divulge who Harry had been cozying up next to in restaurant booths before it was you. 

“Some model,” you said, Alyssa let her beer bottle connect with her mouth before she offered a small smile in support of your vagueness. 

“Fuck him, honestly. You two are a match made in heaven and he fucked it up.”

Carly blew right past her support, still trying to gather information. “Was it that Nina girl? From that last Coach campaign with the scarves?”

“Well, I don’t know about the campaign,” you said. “But yeah--they were seeing each other for a bit.”

“I knew it,” she said, her eyes flickering up to the ceiling in thought. “I wrote an article about the time they got dinner but then I never saw anything more. That was like, right before the holidays.”

Her words brought a sense of relief to you. If anyone was going to be up to date on who Harry was dating, it was Carly. She reached for a napkin on the table and wiped at her mouth. “So what’s the plan with Whitney, then?”

“My story’s due Friday,” you told her, an air of defeat in your voice. “I don’t really know what to write about, I mean, other than the truth.”

Her eyes went wide. “Like--the real truth?”

“At least the I’ve known him forever truth. Not the sex truth. And if I get fired, then, I dunno. I guess I’ll figure it out. But--I can’t, I can’t keep lying to everyone.”

She nodded, ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. She seemed to let it sink in, much calmer than the time she found out you knew him at all. Less angry than the other day in the office. The glow of the telly filled your apartment and when she left that night, she smiled. Let me know if you need me to proof anything. 

**

You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. He’d told you to wear a dress--a nice one--and he said you’d certainly get free dinner and drinks. As if that would convince you to come. 

As if it had to be a real reason, at this point. Like the rules had been set and somehow, you were breaking them. But what you didn’t tell anyone--not even Alyssa--is that he could have asked you to come over and watch him fold laundry, and you would have gone.

You begged Roger to blast the aircon in the ride over even though the city offered a brisk wind, the nerves and the uncertainty getting the best of you in the back leather seats. This time you wore your own dress, one that was black and down to your ankles, a slit showed off your upper thigh in a way that Alyssa promised was enticing but not slutty. 

A text from Pat on the way there made your breath hitch in your throat--fingers hovered over the screen when the notification popped up. 

Pat Martin (6:47pm): Dinner one night next week?

You ignored it for now. When the lift deposited you into Harry’s flat, his eyes trailed you up and down. 

“Alright, don’t look at me like that,” you said, failing to add the thought that followed. If I know that you still feel that way, we’re hopeless.

“Sorry,” he stepped aside, the door shut behind you and you shoved your hands into your coat pockets. “You, uh, you look beautiful.”

He turned to find his wallet, let it sink into the pocket of his trousers when he turned around to face you again, a smirk still plastered on his lips. Roger had practically sent you up to fetch him, a laugh from the front seat, he’ll hurry up for you! Always drags his feet when I need him. 

“Why do you need me to come to this, again?”

The doors to the lift opened once more when Harry summoned it, you climbed inside and he cleared his throat. “Just, uh, kind of a big deal--the dinner, I mean.”

“Why?”

“Just is, Smalls, okay?”

“Okay,” you said quickly, not wanting to overstep a boundary that was likely needed. If anything, you figured you and Harry needed more boundaries, more clarity around what you could and couldn’t do. 

So you kept enough space between you in the backseat of the car, eyes tracing the water droplets that raced down the window. You kept enough distance when you trailed behind him into an event space somewhere in Hell’s Kitchen, stilettos already digging into your feet.

He’d kept the conversation light in the car--let you know that he had fun with everyone and was excited to have the gang back together soon. He said he was excited for the tour, hesitation in his voice when you asked how long it was. 

_All summer, _he said. I’ll be back in early October. 

You pretended like it wasn’t weird to be by his side, a glass of red wine in your hand when someone from his management team greeted you by the wrong name. 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, an apology under his breath when he pulled you away. “He’s a dick--that’s not, I don’t know who Emmy is.”

You hoped he wasn’t lying. 

So you left him alone for the most part, texting Alyssa from the bar with periodic updates. No he wasn’t flirting with you, yes you were sure. You’d put the pieces together and figured out that this was some sort of going away party that the label was throwing before Harry left for tour and pushed the thoughts of why does he want me here out of your head. 

After a check of social media to ensure that all was still quiet, he stumbled back towards you, introducing you to someone you’d already met earlier in the night. His arm snaked around your waist and he bragged to the label exec that you were one of his best friends. Isn’t she beautiful?

His manager eventually wandered over, hoping to persuade the champagne-fueled boy around your waist to head home. “M’fine,” Harry laughed. “I can reel it in--I think,” he laughed when he went to lean on a table, barely catching his footing before almost toppled over. You held onto his elbow, offering Jeff a nervous smile when Harry leaned his head on your shoulder. 

“M’tired anyway, Harry,” you bargained, hand automatically rubbing his back. “We can head home and just call it a night, yeah?”

He sighed, a bit of a groan when he looked between the two of you. “Fine, we can go home. But I have to have a wee first.”

He disappeared towards the bathroom, weaving through people and servers as he managed to miraculously keep his balance. The lights from Jersey City flickered outside, Jeff let out a sigh before he let his eyes find yours again. 

“Everything good?”

You shrugged, unsure of how to respond. You didn’t know him well enough to give him all the details, nor did you know if it was your place. “Good enough,” was the response you settled on. 

So when you fell into the backseat with Harry in tow, his laughter drowned out the radio that Roger had on. “M’sorry that was so stupid. I kept trying to find you so I could make you endure the boring conversations I was stuck in.”

You turned towards him on the smooth leather, barely able to see him in the dark. “You hated it? You seemed like you had a blast.”

“S’the alcohol,” he smirked, his eyes crinkled by the sides. “Knew I’d need a few to tolerate the suits and ties.”

You let out a scoff, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach that threatened to take flight. Something about him made you feel like you were both seventeen again, sneaking away from some party in Adam’s basement to watch the stars on the roof outside your bedroom. 

He reached over and let his hand rest on your thigh, the pads of fingers sent a jolt up your spine when his skin met yours beneath your dress. “I missed you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t seen you in a bit,” he shrugged, still maintaining a casual tone despite the liquor in his system. 

You let the words hang between you, pretending as if Roger wasn’t listening between the breaks in songs that leaked out of the speakers. 

You swallowed, tugging desperately in the other direction. “I think we, y’know, needed some space.”

He sighed, a dramatic one. One that pulled a giggle from your lips as he slumped in the seat. “I didn’t need space. I was fine.”

“Harry,” you said his name in warning, as if the butterflies had been freed from their cage and any second they’d swarm the backseat and find their way into the night air. 

His fingers still rested on your skin, but when you made eye contact he squeezed a bit tighter, pulling you towards him. The satin of your dress slid along the leather, your shoulder knocked into his before he let his lips press a kiss against it. 

You stayed like that for a while, hands intertwined atop your thigh, buildings passed by the windows as Roger brought you back to Harry’s, not yours. 

Come inside, he smiled, the car slowed to a stop and he was out before you could sit up straight. His palm was outstretched, waiting for you to climb out into the February air. 

“Only so I can make sure you make it to the toilet and not puke all over your flat.”

He rolled his eyes theatrically, dimples appearing on either side of his mouth before he turned to head for the doors. He drunkenly laughed about the night, the worst part was, I’m so glad you put up with, but suddenly, the quiet of his flat on the top floor seemed to blanket the evening. 

He slid his watch off his wrist and onto the console table near the couch. You reached for water bottles in the fridge and then found him staring at the ceiling in his bedroom. Two knocks on the door frame. 

“Got you water,” the words were quiet, nervous. 

He didn’t move. His eyes were closed and he let out a breath, the only sign that he wasn’t unconscious. “M’fine.”

“I bet you’ll beg to differ in the morning.”

He laughed at that, a quick rush of air through his nose--he was soon upright on the bed, palm outstretched to receive the hydration. You handed it over. 

He made a face, a scrunched nose and narrowed eyes. He was on his knees in front of the toilet in a matter of seconds. You stood frozen at the foot of the bed at first, still unsure of where the fine line was between friendship and romance.

But when he called your name--tired and almost weak--you found that the line didn’t really matter. 

“You’re alright,” you said, reassuring. “Do you need to get sick again?”

“No,” he shook his head, reaching for a tissue to wipe his mouth on. He pushed himself up and off the floor, you handed over his toothbrush, ignoring the fact that the purple one you’d bought from a Daune Reade down the block was still there. Untouched, almost a permanent fixture. 

He brushed, sneaking glances at you through the mirror every few seconds. Once he spit and put the toothbrush back in its place beside yours, you followed him back into the bedroom. He tugged open a drawer, grabbing for a pair of sweatpants and almost toppling over. 

You stood awkwardly in the center of the room when he changed, a quirked eyebrow in your direction once he pulled back the sheets. “You’re sleeping in that?”

“No--Harry, I’m not, I can’t stay.”

He was in bed now, his eyes focused on the blanket that he was trying to spread over the duvet, an extra layer of warmth. He brought his gaze up to you. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sleeping here.”

“Oh,” his face fell but he leaned back against his pillow, his eyes trailing over to the empty spot beside him. “Yeah, okay.”

You promised yourself it was the alcohol--his judgment was impaired and his thinking was impaired and maybe his feelings were too. 

“Smalls?” 

You moved closer to him, stifling a laugh when he closed his eyes and let out another dramatic sigh. 

You hummed in response, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“You know what sucks?”

“What?”

“That it’s all my fault.”

“What’s all your fault?”

“If I just realized all of this sooner maybe it would have worked.”

“You’re losing me…”

He opened his eyes, pupils dilated from the booze. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids but I was too daft to figure my shit out. So now it’s too late.”

You didn’t know what to say, you blinked a few times, thankful for the drowsiness in his eyes. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, turning over and pulling the blankets up to his face. “Later.”

So you shut off the lights and closed the door, locked up his flat and rode the lift down. You walked home alone and promised yourself that it was just the alcohol. 

You thumbed out a message to Pat when you were home, safe in the darkness of your own living room. 

Y/N L/N (1:03am): I’m actually really busy for the next few weeks, sorry!

You pulled open the document on your computer that you’d been avoiding and stared at the fourteen headlines you’d brainstormed. You counted the words of the few paragraphs you’d written, and eventually, your fingers met the keyboard.

So maybe things with Harry would never be stable. But when you remembered the feeling of his hand on your thigh or his lips on your shoulder, you realized one thing: Maybe you’d never know where the line is or was or should be. Maybe for some people the line is always thin and blurry. Maybe trying to find the line is better than never even getting close to it at all.

**

Half of the office lights were out--that’s how late it was. The noise of a vacuum drifted through cubes, maintenance workers offered sheepish smiles when you made your way to Whitney’s office. She was still there, you had no idea why, but a late Friday night deadline felt appropriate for the churning in your stomach. 

“Hi,” you knocked on the doorframe, she smiled when she looked up from her computer. “Have a minute?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, pushing her laptop away from her a bit. “Come sit.”

“I--uh--I have this,” you handed over a manila folder, thin, with only four pages of paper inside. They weren’t stapled together, separate’s always better, she’d once told you._ That way I can lay it out in front of me when I edit._

You’d written small letters on a post-it, stuck it to the first page inside. Harry Styles Interview. 

She smiled up at you when she pulled it off, eyes scanning the proposed subheadline before the happiness left her face. It was replaced with a furrowed brow, her lips pressed together in a thin line as you watched her eyes move left to right, left to right. 

Her mouth parted, speechless--you guessed she was somewhere near the second or third paragraph. She didn’t put it down or rip it up, which felt like a good sign. Your heartbeat thumped in your ears with each page turn, her fingers peeling the story apart. Her eyes trailed up to you once, quickly back down to your words when she realized you were watching her every move.

You counted the seconds it took her to read it. Stolen glances at the clock on her wall until she set it down on her desk and let her gaze float up to the ceiling. First, she exhaled. “I’m not really sure what to say.”

“I know,” you said quickly. “I should have told you and I should have just come clean from the start. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, slow and hesitant. “How could you--why didn’t you just tell me when I pitched it to you?”

You shifted in your chair. “I dunno, Whitney, I guess I just didn’t want to fuck up my first chance to really prove my writing to you.”

She let out a noise of exasperation. “You don’t have to prove your writing--I already hired you!”

“I just wanted to write something real and fun and--not that the lists aren’t fun, I mean, they are--I just wanted to do an amazing job with it but then,” you paused to inhale. 

“But then what?” She looked at you like she didn’t have the slightest idea what was about to come out of your mouth, like you were speaking a different language and she was still trying to put a thousand pieces together. 

“But then I realized I didn’t know how to write about him without just writing about him. For awhile I thought I’d just lie my way through the whole thing and never tell you, but, writing the best story meant telling the truth,” you pointed at the pages on her desk. “That’s the story he deserves.”

She sighed, picking up the first page to peer down at your words once more. She set it down on the desk with uncertainty. “So did you actually go to Los Angeles with him?”

“Yes--everything in there is true.”

“And you’ve known him for how long?”

“Since we were, like, eight or nine.”

“Jesus,” she sighed. 

“And uh, in an effort to be completely honest with you--which feels kind of pointless, now--he and I were also kind of together when I did the interview.” The word crept out of your mouth slowly, awkward pauses laced through your words.

“Together?”

You nodded. 

“Like, romantically?”

Another nod. 

“Alright, well--yeah, I, uh, I need to think about all of this, I guess.”

“Okay, yeah.” You stood from your chair and turned on your heel, wondering how much of your conversation had been heard by the janitorial staff outside her door. Embarrassment flooded your veins, would she tell everyone in the office that you were a liar? Would your name be ruined in the field?

“S’good.”

“What?” 

“It’s really good,” she said, her eyes still glued to the papers on her desk when you turned to face her. “The story.”

You were quiet, unsure of what to say and hesitant to speak at all. She looked up at you and shrugged. “Not that is undoes the dishonesty and lack of professionalism, but, it’s probably one of the best features we’ve ever had.”

You mumbled a quiet thank you, brushed hair behind your ear before she told you she’d get back to you. You wished you could have asked: with what? A notice of termination? 

Instead you nodded and went back to your desk, grabbing your coat and heading for the door before you could ruin anything else. 

**

You got a text from Bryn late on Sunday. Clouds hung low over the city, you only left your apartment for a cup of tea in the afternoon. Saturday had been quiet. Cleaning, reading, a nap--living in a blissful state of denial, as if the city outside of your windows would cease to exist if you stepped outside. 

But now an impending phone call from Whitney felt inevitable. Like a boulder ready to fall from it’s mountainside nest, threatening the peace and quiet you’d somehow created in your tiny apartment. 

It was a group message, just you and Bryn and Jessie. 

Bryn (7:18pm): This just came across facebook.

Bryn (7:19pm): https://bit.ly/36thuW2

Jessie Alby (7:21pm): Literally just saw it...BRILLIANT! How did your boss take it? 

You didn’t believe either of them until you opened the link that Bryn had sent. The Scoop’s website came up on your screen, the headline you’d written appeared in thick, bold, lettering--exactly how you’d written it. 

Your name, a timestamp, and a tiny picture of Harry appeared beside it.

Another message came through on your phone, something from Carly. Then another, Jake. Another, your sister. Another, Adam. You read the interview twice--eyes glazed over as you sat with the feeling that things were now done. 

You only wished that Whitney had given you a decent warning. A swipe over to twitter, damage control. Messages with love and anger and accusations seemed to litter the screen, but one in particular caught your eye. 

You typed back to Jessie and Bryn. 

Y/N L/N (8:23pm): She didn’t even tell me she was posting it! She said she had to think things over!

You pulled the story back up, navigated to the “staff writers” page to see if your name was still listed. Below your picture and right next to Gabrielle’s, your name and title appeared in tiny font. 

You sat frozen for a second, thumbs hovering over the screen of your phone while you contemplated the options. Call Whitney? Ask her why she posted it? Call Harry? Ask him what he thought about it? 

Neither felt like great options--like either way you were getting yourself into a conversation that you didn’t want to have. When your phone buzzed and showed you Jake’s name at the top, you answered it quickly. 

“Hi,” you said, letting the view of him come into focus on the screen. He was somewhere in his flat, the lights mostly off. 

“Just saw the story,” he said. “S’really good, Y/N.”

“My boss didn’t even tell me she was publishing it.”

He pulled his head back, eyes furrowed. “What did she say when you talked to her?”

“Just that she needed time to think, really. She said that she wished I’d just been honest, but obviously I’m a proper knob so I lied and got myself into a fucking shit storm.”

“Well--she can’t be that mad if she published it.”

“Hopefully you’re right,” you sighed. “But either way it’s fine. Now it’s all said and done and I can just move on from the drama and the story and, I don’t know, stay in my own lane.” You looked up at him on the screen. He offered a sympathetic smile and then laughed. 

“Oh, Smalls, you’re something else.”

You looked at him, unimpressed. “What? Why am I something else?”

“Just are,” he said. “Harry told me you two hung out the other night.”

“We didn’t hang out,” you told him. “I went with him to some event and he got really bloody drunk. Made sure he didn’t die is what I did.”

“He might have been off his face but he remembers asking you to stay the night.”

You made a face. “Does he remember saying that it’s all his fault?”

“Yeah.”

You didn’t expect that. You were both quiet for a moment. 

“Sometimes I wish he didn’t even reach out in December, you know? I know we all missed him and what not but--I dunno, it’s been a mess since then. And the whole Nina Winters thing didn’t help.”

“Smalls,” he let out a laugh and rubbed at his face. “I have something to confess.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jake, what it is?”

He laughed again, tried to straighten his face when you narrowed your eyes at him. “I knew that he was seeing Nina, but just hear me out!”

Your heart nearly stopped, but the smile on his face told you this had to be good.

“He mentioned it in passing, like, when they met in the fall. It really didn’t sound like anything serious. And eventually, after a few dates with her, he said something about it was off. This was before he talked to you--to be clear.”

“He said something was off?”

“He said he wanted whoever he dated to feel like his best friend.”

You were quiet for a second, still staring at him as if you were waiting for him to say more. “Then he said he missed you.”

And just like that, Jake handed over the last puzzle piece you’d been missing. The one thing that seemed to throw the whole picture off, make sure that nothing could really align. 

“So that’s why he reached out to me?”

He nodded.

“So let me make sure I understand you.”

Another nod. 

“You knew he was dating Nina Winters because he told you. Because you’d all maintained some level of contact with him for the last two years but you didn’t tell me because I was too embarrassed to even talk to him.”

“Yes.”

“So he reached out to me because he missed me? And dating Nina for a second made him realize that?”

“I think dating Nina made him realize that no one would ever be you.”

Another pause. You thought back to the night when he first met Carly. 

“I, uh, spoke with our friend Jake--I knew Y/N was here but he reminded me, and I hadn’t seen her in a while, so, figured I’d call.”

You tilted your head to the side, he made brief eye contact with you before looking over to Carly. “You spoke with Jake?” It wasn’t a shock, especially seeing as that cover had already been blown.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, a sip of the beer in his hand. “Caught up with him and mentioned the gang. Figured it’d be nice to see you.”

Jake could tell that you were deep in thought, he watched you through the phone and eventually, he let out a sigh. “He’s always loved you, Smalls--I think it just took him longer to realize it.”

**

You had no clue what to expect Monday morning when you set your bag down at your desk. Your cubicle hadn’t been touched--no one had come to clear out your belongings or light your things on fire, which seemed slightly promising.

You kept your head down and eyes focused on your computer, hoping to come up with enough good topics to write about so you wouldn’t have to leave your desk all day. If you were lucky, everyone would just forget about the story altogether and you’d be able to slip back into a state of mild internet fame due to your own self-deprecation. 

As it should be. 

“Hi, can we chat?” Whitney knocked twice on the wall to your cube, a small smile on her face when you looked up. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Of course.”

She led you through the maze of cubes and back to her office, this time you had to deal with sheepish smiles from coworkers who’d read your story, not janitorial staff who’d heard your lies. 

She shut the door once you were both inside her office, though the glass wall didn’t provide much privacy. 

“So, we published it, obviously, as you know.”

“Mhm.”

“And it’s really good, Y/N. Honestly, it’s a great piece and it’s trafficking better than any other feature we’ve ever done--but, I unfortunately can’t keep you on staff after that.”

You looked at her, both of you stood in the middle of her office as if the chairs would provide a level of nonchalance that neither of you could handle. 

You didn’t respond. You stared at the eggshell white walls and then down at the gray carpet. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N--it’s not that I don’t think you’re a fantastic writer and an amazing person, but--I just don’t think it sets a good precedence, you know? We’re supposed to have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to dual relationships and--”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I get that. I, uh, I’m sorry, that I fucked it all up.”

She frowned, a deflated breath left her lungs and she crossed her arms. “I just wish you’d been honest--we could have figured something out.”

“Ever since he got famous, people seemed more interested in me just because I knew him--so when I came here and started working, I just wanted to prove myself without his name attached.”

She nodded. “You did prove yourself--and if you’d told me that you knew him, I dunno. Honesty is always the best option.”

A nod. “I don’t blame you for firing me. I deserve it.”

“In a perfect world, I wouldn’t. But,” she paused. “I have good news--I convinced my boss to let me publish your piece with limited rights--as if you were a freelancer. You own the full story and even though it was produced and published during your contracted time here, you can bring that story with you or have it removed from our site whenever you’d like.”

A tiny weight off your shoulders. You wondered what Harry was doing. A meeting, maybe. Grabbing breakfast with Jeffrey. He wasn’t getting fired--you knew that. 

“Thank you, that’s helpful.”

“And I’d be happy to write you a letter of recommendation. I’ll just, you know, leave out this stuff.”

She laughed, one that caught on the stale office air and found it’s way to you. A small smile on her face when she opened her arms towards you. “I’m sorry I have to do this--but something tells me you’ll have plenty of offers.”

That wasn’t even where your brain was at. Instead, it was high above the streets of New York, wondering how the last few months had accidentally turned into the most adventurous ones yet, how figuring everything out also turned it all upside down.

“And also,” she pulled you back to reality. “I hope things work out between you two.”

“What?”

She laughed, waved a hand as if her words weren’t as serious as they seemed. “Sounds like there’s a bit of history there. Not quite finished, either, right?”

You stared at her--shocked at how her words allowed another piece to fall into place. Collected through your own writing, Whitney’s insight into the situation felt telling and true. And here, in her office, there were no more lies. No more secrets, no more dodging the truth. It was the first time in a long time that you let out a breath and actually felt relieved. 

You nodded, repeated her words. “Not quite finished yet.”

She had papers for you to sign, there was a meeting with someone from HR and by lunch time you’d packed up your desk. The tiny trinkets and your phone cord were tucked away in a box you’d grabbed out of a recycling bin. 

“Don’t forget this,” Carly plucked a photo from the gray fabric, unfolding it to reveal Harry’s face on the other side of Bryn. She laughed, rolling her eyes when she saw who it was. “All that time he was sitting right here.”

You took it from her, a small laugh. “You can keep that,” you teased. “Cut out the rest of us and just stare at him while you write.”

“You know,” she leaned against the desk, watching as you did a final look around for any other forgotten belongings. “Something tells me that I won’t be writing about him so much.”

“He’s got a tour coming up, I’m sure there will be plenty of content.”

“Yeah--I don’t think anything about him will traffick like yours is right now, so.”

You set the box down, pulling her into a hug quickly. “Thanks for not getting me in trouble.”

“Are you kidding?” She pulled away from you and laughed. “If you let me do that interview I’d probably be dead or in jail or--I don’t know. I think it worked out for the best.”

“Minus me getting fired,” you reminded, a smirk in her direction. 

“Right. Minus that.”

You picked up the box again and headed for the lift, she followed suit. “But you’ll be okay--I mean, Gabby said she’d be shocked if you don’t have something by the end of the week. E! News picked up the story, Cosmo tweeted about it, so did Paper Mag and Buzzfeed.”

“Yeah,” you said, a confident nod despite the uncertainty in your veins. “I’ll be alright. I might go home for a bit--take a break. But, it’ll be alright.”

“Let’s do dinner,” she smiled. The doors opened and you stepped inside, pressing the button for the lobby.

“Thursday?”

She smiled. “I’ll bring the wine!”

**

You weren’t dressed for company. Alyssa was on the phone with Owen and you were stretched north, arms reaching for the last packet of crisps in the cabinet above the stove when there was a knock at the door. 

Jesus Christ, you hadn’t the slightest clue who’d be there. Not Owen, simple deductive reasoning. Not Carly--your plans weren’t for another few nights. A neighbor locked out or someone who’d accidentally gotten your electric bill.

You pressed your cheek up to the painted wood, eye gazing through the peephole to see Harry--a baggy coat and a hat pulled over his head. 

You twisted the lock and pulled the door open. “Hi,” you said, eyes flickered down to his hands. Printed paper. The headline in bold lettering. An immediate raise in blood pressure.

“Hi,” he said.

He stepped inside, you shut the door, awkward silence. The clock ticked on the wall and the telly was on mute--a blanket was strewn on the couch where you’d once been before you had a hankering for something salty. 

“I, uh, I really like the story.”

“Thanks,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sorry I didn’t, like, tell you it was out. They didn’t tell me they were publishing it. I think you knew before I did.”

“Oh,” he said, brows knit towards the center of his face. “How’d it go? Talking with Whitney, I mean.”

You sighed, moved back to the couch and sat on top of a throw pillow. “Fine enough, she was kind of understanding, but, she fired me.”

“She fired you?” He said it like the possibility had never crossed his mind, still frozen in the center of the room. 

You nodded quietly, watched as he shrugged out of his jacket. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. That’s really--s’unfair, honestly. It’s a great feature.”

“S’fine, Harry, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”

He bit at his lower lip, hung his jacket by the door before he came over to the couch. “I don’t think anyone’s ever written such nice things about me.” A smirk tugged at his lips, a shade of pink was on his cheeks from the cold wind outside. 

You dodged a laugh. “Well--it got me fired, so, don’t get used to it.”

He was quiet for a second, the sounds of New York seeped through the window. He shifted on the couch but brought his eyes back to you. “Smalls, I--”

The door from Alyssa’s bedroom opened, her head poked out and she smiled at Harry, immediately giving herself away. She’d been hoping you’d talk things through, her words a constant reminder of her own hopes. Just give it a chance, he’s clearly in love with you. “Long time no see!” She tugged at the ratty t-shirt she wore, oversized and faded from the wash. 

“S’been, like, a week!” You argued, rolling your eyes at the smirk on her face. Harry looked all too pleased, laughed when you looked at Alyssa once more. “Can we help you?”

“No, no! Just heard a deeper voice--got a little curious. I’ll be in here,” she held up her hands to show her innocence, shut the door behind her, leaving you alone again. 

You rubbed at your eyes, exhausted from the last few months. When you looked back up at Harry, he watched you for a second.

“What?”

He shrugged. “I just came over to say I’m sorry for everything.”

Silence. 

“I’m sorry that I was a shit friend and I’m sorry that I pushed you to tell people when you weren’t ready and I’m sorry that now you lost your job.”

“It’s not your fault,” you replied. “I’m the one who lied. I’m sorry that I was so--difficult.”

“Yeah, but--I’m the one who turned your life upside down.”

A quiet laugh. “I can’t argue with that.”

He sat there for a second, not saying anything. He tugged at his lower lip and stole a glance in your direction. After another few seconds, he stood. “Well--I’ll leave you to it, just wanted to see how you were doing, make sure you were okay.”

You stood, mirroring his position in the room like you had only moments earlier. He stepped towards the door. “I head out on the road on Wednesday.”

“Yeah?”

A knot in your stomach.

“Yeah.”

He watched you, waiting for you to say something. He scanned your face, a desperate look in his eyes for you to finally cross the line, like he was begging you to come to the other side and stop looking back. 

“Maybe--uh, maybe I can come visit. Seeing as my schedule just opened up.”

He was hesitant, the corner of his mouth twitched towards the ceiling, he somehow knew exactly what you meant. A nod. “Yeah, Smalls, I’d like that.” He stepped forward, then again, and then his hand was on your waist. A spark up your spine like so many times before, like all the times before.

You’re sixteen suddenly, a betraying pulse that you’re worried he can feel when he brushes hair out of your face. Heat in your cheeks like you might get caught by someone’s parents, butterflies desperately trying to break free from your rib cage in the backseat of someone’s car as you drive through town, half drunk and laughing. 

Eighteen now, kissing someone else but wishing it was him. Skipping classes in uni and drinking at dingy pubs, all the while wondering what time zone he’s in and when he might call. 

Twenty, convinced he was just a blip on the radar, nothing more than a teenage fantasy. Telling yourself nothing will ever happen just in hopes of moving on. 

The busy streets of New York are swapped with the quiet ones back home, late nights wondering if he’ll text you back or if he even knows how you feel. And suddenly, back in time, you don’t mind the not knowing. You don’t mind the back and forth, the push and pull, the up and down. You don’t mind the embarrassing moments, the late night take out or relentless teasing from childhood mates. 

You’re twenty-four, a swell of emotion in your chest when he pulls away from the kiss. “I love you,” he says quietly, a crack in his voice. “Sorry it took me so long to say that.”

“Yeah, well,” you laughed, letting your hands reach down to intertwine with his. “Better late than never.”

**

Floral Suits and Screaming Fans: a 2017 solo album and an upcoming arena tour have made Harry Styles one of the most successful stars of the year, but he’s still the same kid I grew up with. 

Written by Y/N L/N, published March 3rd, 2018 - 3:55pm in Entertainment

There’s a pitcher of water in the center of the table, but it’s not sparkling. There are no beautiful women dressed in togas, offering grapes into his mouth as they fan him with giant leaves. Instead, he sits with his chin in his hand, a beanie pulled down over some escaping curls. He listens dutifully as his manager runs through upcoming tour dates that will take him from Amsterdam to Bangkok, San Fran to Sydney. 

So maybe my expectations were a little out of touch with reality. But forgive me--when my childhood friend left our sleepy town just south of Manchester in the UK, I imagined that the new life he led was lavish and luxe. 

I’m seated across from him at a conference table--somewhere in West Hollywood--pretending like I know what ‘in ears’ are or like I’m not wondering where the sparkling water is. I got offered the chance to interview the boy I grew up with, and in a lot of ways Harry Styles is still the same kid that sat next to me in Chemistry or ate Chinese takeout at my mum’s kitchen table. 

He still laughs really hard at his own jokes and he still has a love for sappy movies, but he’s certainly more worldly than he was back then.

He now knows about cultural customs in different parts of the world, he’s traveled to places I’ve only read about. He’s got awards that line a shelf in his beautiful Manhattan apartment, overlooking the streets below. People all around the world would kill to stare mindlessly at him in this meeting, but the truth is that he’s never been some fantastic and enchanting celebrity to me. Instead, he’s been a friend I’ve had for ages and someone who knows a plethora of embarrassing stories from Year 8 that I hope no one ever hears.

It wasn’t always like this though, if I’m being honest. We waved goodbye to our curly-headed friend like he was going off to war, and in a way, he never came home. There were years when I didn’t see him, save for a picture in a magazine or something on the internet. Maybe a happy birthday text between talk shows and concerts. So you can imagine my surprise when we reconnected on a snowy New York evening and everything felt--well, exactly the same.

He asked me to come see a show of his, I brought my roommate who had a tough time playing it cool and we got Pad Thai afterwards. We caught up and fell back into the same rhythm we’d always had. A few weeks later and my boss brought me into her office. The quest? Interview one of the biggest celebrities on the planet--one she didn’t know happened to be a longtime friend. 

Instead of immediately informing her of my close ties to my newest subject, I kept it a secret. I aimed to undertake a lofty goal: prove that the music and the looks and the charm aren’t what make Harry so special. 

So--how does someone as talented and well known as Harry stay so down to earth? It’s the people you’re around, he says. 

H: In the band, I was constantly around people who would bring me back down if I got a bit of an ego, you know? There was such love between everyone, but it was like a real family. If you’re being a dick, you’re going to hear about it from someone--they’re going to tell you to fuck off, probably.

Was that a good thing? 

H: Absolutely. I mean, it definitely sucked sometimes when someone called you on it, but at the end of the day it’s the only way to keep your sanity, I guess. The last thing you want is a bunch of ‘yes’ men telling you that every idea you have is a good one. I’ve had plenty of shit ideas. 

What have some of them been recently?

H: Probably just that I can go long periods of time without a break. It’s nice to still have my mum or someone say ‘you’re probably too busy.’ Having a lot of the same people around me over the years has been good for that. They know me well enough to know when I’m not being myself or when something’s up.

How do you think you’ve changed over the years?

H: I’ve definitely got a better sense of fashion, which is good! But I think there are a lot of ways I have and a lot of ways I haven’t. That’s probably a better question for you to answer. 

I’d say he’s right. Sure, he doesn’t live in the same house he did growing up and he definitely knows now that those purple trainers he had back in the day were a disaster. But he’s as chummy as he’s always been, offering hugs and handshakes to old classmates we haven’t seen in years when we both make the trip to Holmes Chapel for Christmas. 

He’s bounced in and out of our friend circle--sometimes too busy hanging out with Hollywood’s finest to have brunch--but he says he loves coming home more than ever.

H: Being away obviously makes me miss it more. I don’t know if it’s somewhere I could live now, but being there makes me feel like not much has changed. Which is good, I think, having a place to come back to and reset once in a while.

Going to Costa and seeing people you grew up with is normally a nightmare for most people our age. But you don’t mind?

H: No, I mean, it’s awkward sometimes, I guess, to see people you haven’t talked to in a long time, but it’s always nice to catch up. Even if that means me admitting that I’m sometimes shit at keeping in touch. I try to at least let people know I’m thinking about them and still care--even if I can’t see them all the time. And what’s nice is that most people from home still really treat me like a real person, you know? They ask how I’ve been and what I’m doing, not much different than if I were at Uni or working in London. 

They don’t ask about which celebrities are in your phone or if you can buy them a car?

H: They don’t! I think it’s just that people I surround myself with see me as more than the kid from the X-Factor or the kid from that band. 

They know you’ve got a terrible taste in desserts. 

H: That or they just see me as the loud mouth that sat behind them in school and got told to shut up a lot. 

Which is exactly how I remember it. He was always talking, singing, laughing, a true extrovert who loves to make other people smile. So I guess it’s not surprising that he’s doing what he’s doing. 

He says that being up on stage is a similar feeling to being the class clown, feeling really good about bringing a group of people together however he can do it. But he says it’s a lot different without friends by your side. 

H: It’s definitely been a shift. It’s just me up there now--I get to be more myself. Not that I wasn’t [myself] in the band, by any means, but more opportunity to just be myself. 

To dance around and act a fool in front of a whole room of people?

H: Exactly--but I feel lucky for that, really. I get to do this amazing thing and share music with people and create a space where people can just enjoy themselves. That feels really good. And the prancing is fun too--you obviously know me so well!

But do I? Is it possible to lose touch and then reconnect with an old friend for the interview chance of a lifetime, just picking up where you left off?

A day we spent together in Los Angeles seems to prove it is. 

This is a great beach, a great cafe! He sings at the top of his lungs as we drive down the Pacific Coast Highway, excited to share his world with me. I tag along to the meeting without sparkling water and we have dinner that night with his manager and a few friends. 

I’m shocked by the way his demeanor doesn’t shift. He’s just as goofy in a five star restaurant as he is in my living room or at the beach. The people we’re with don’t treat him like a celebrity, they treat him like a human. One that just happens to be extremely gifted when it comes to writing sad songs.

So I think that is what makes him so special. It’s not necessarily the good looks or the music or the charm (though he’d be proper upset if I didn’t admit he possesses them all). It’s the way he makes everyone feel so comfortable, the way he seems so down to earth despite the sold out shows or the platinum albums. 

And in the time I’ve spent with Harry over the last few weeks, I’ve seen the parts that are lavish and luxe. I’ve seen a fancy airplane and a bathtub so big you could probably put a small boat in it. 

I’ve gotten to see a part of the world I’d never been to, I’ve eaten delicious food and gotten to laugh about some terribly unfortunate haircuts that happened in Year 5. 

But getting a taste of the good life wasn’t the best part. The best part was eating take out in my shoebox apartment and getting acquainted to the world my friend now calls home. It was realizing that after all the success in the world, he’s humble, he’s grateful, and still remembers how I like my tea. It was the deep and often emotional conversations we had about growing up and growing apart, learning and changing, all for the best. And even though I’ve missed a few milestones, I can tell he’s settled into himself, nestled snugly between boy next door and bonafide rockstar.

So maybe Harry Styles has never been some fantastic and enchanting celebrity to me, because he’s fantastic and enchanting for a thousand other reasons.

come talk to me about tytl

AN: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has read and cried and loved these two as much as I have. This has seriously been the most fun story to write because so many of you were so invested!!!! Chapter 1 of my new story, unplanned, will be posted soon! 

tag list:  @clorenafila​ @ainsleesolareclipse  @castawaycths​ @harryspirate​ @wanderlustiing​ @ursamajor603​ @thurhomish​ @omgsharry​  @stepping-into-the-light​ @rachkon​ @jdcharliewhiskey​  @shawnsblue​  @gendryia @g0bl1nqueen​  @laula843​  @flooome​  @a-woman-without-a-plan​@awomanindeniall​ @shaw-nm @staceystoleyourheart​ @ohprettylittlemind-deactivated2 @anssu-amry​ @my-fandomful-life2​ @stylesfantasy​ @bookingbee​  @mleestiles​  @haute-romance-quotidienne​  @craic-head-horan​ @talk-british-2-me-britbritharry​ @at-least-im-1​ @paigemck00​ @rawmeharry​ @pinkpolaroidgirl​ @blackxxmagicc​ @sksspotkitty @nearbyou​ @kalesouffle​ @sunnflowerchild​ @lmk12310 @sing-me-a-song-harry​ @afterstylesmadeit​ @myhat​ @caritocp​ @liquor-and-intellect​ @harryinsweatersandbandanas​ @daydreamsofh​

[emily-strange]

Sparks Fly

Okay so I posted Chapter 2 the other day but was ultimately really unhappy with where the story was heading....so I revamped! 

Thank you again to @billybutchersbabe​ for being my sounding board and talking through my jumbled ideas with me :) Such a massive help.

Hope you enjoy the chapter and feedback is welcomed x

Chapter 2

Pairing: Billy Butcher x OFC

Warnings: Swearing, Mention of Violence, *very* mild mention of child abuse (very very small)

…………………………………………………..

Butcher leans against the dirty wall of the safehouse ‘livingroom’ and looks at the young woman sprawled out on the threadbare sofa. He sighs tiredly and pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting the headache that’s constantly threatening his brain. MM and Frenchie are arguing over something ridiculous in the other room and Hughie made a quick exit after trying to scold him for his interrogation techniques.

For the first time in a fucking long time, Butcher feels the pinch of guilt in the back of his mind. The three of them were following a lead when they’d come across the cart fire and Butcher being Butcher, he just had to watch something burn. That’s when he noticed her. Well, he didn’t know she was a she at the time. 

Not that it matters of course, a supe’s a supe.

She approached the fire like she was looking to get burned. He watched her raise her hands and caught a glimpse of a small smile. The flames around her flickered like an electrical current and seemed to gravitate towards her. He saw red. His mind instantly went to Lamplighter and Mallory’s grand-kids. So, he acted.

He’d been careless and rash.

Butcher lets out a long, deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding and calls to MM. When he finally breaks away from his argument, MM enters the room just at Butcher is sorting through a first aid kit.

“You ‘nd Frenchie need ta follow up on that lead. See if ya can get Hughie back.” He says without looking up. MM bites back the need to argue and looks over to the woman on the sofa. He eye’s Butcher warily.

“What you gonna do?” he asks. Butcher stops sorting through the kit and follows MM’s eye-line to the woman.

“Just ask what you wanna ask MM” Butcher responds, straitening himself to full height, causing the other man to do the same. The tension since the alley was thick. Even Frenchie sensed it when they returned ‘home’ with Butcher carrying an unconscious woman over his shoulder.

“Fine. What you gonna do, to her?” MM rewords while pointing to the woman. Butcher picks up some antiseptic wipes and gauze.

“Me?” he asks in his usual jovial tone, “I’m gonna patch the bird up ‘nd ask her some questions. Maybe if she’s lucky, I’ll get her somethin’ ta drink.”

MM scoffs, “So the kickin’s are done?”

Butcher places one of his hands, still holding the gauze, over his heart, “Scouts honour.”

MM shakes his head but gathers his things. Him and Frenchie head out to follow up on the previous lead, with the latter muttering in French as they exit the building.

Butcher takes a couple of seconds to gather himself before sitting on the small coffee table opposite the sofa, setting up a bottle of water next to him ready. The woman’s bag lies on the floor next to them, having been checked over by Butcher when they got back, however he’d put the matchbook in the pocket of his short-sleeved shirt the moment he’d knocked her out in the alley.

He moves her hair gently off of her face and sighs, exhausted himself. He gives her a little shake. And then another one. And then a bigger one while saying (almost shouting) “Hey!”. The woman stirs and for a second Butcher sees her relaxed before everything crashes back down to earth. She hurries to sit upright, her stomach clearly no longer hurting her and Butcher grabs her arm before she can bolt off the sofa.

“Alrigh’ alrigh’ calm down now luv.” He chastises and retracts his hands quickly when the woman snatches her arm back, holding it to herself like he’d burned her. Her eyes are wide and her face is bruised from earlier, with blood smeared across her forehead and jaw. Old, almost closed cuts are scattered around her face with yellow bruises framing her eyes on both sides.

“Why am I here?” Emmy asks, pushing part the dry scratch of her throat.

“Well. That’s the question ain’t it. Why are you here? Some say God. If you believe that kinda thing. Me? I’d say freak’a nature.” Butcher answers, confusing Emmy for a moment before she realises what he’s getting at.

“No,” she replies quickly “why am I in your….house?”

Butcher looks around, finding it funny that she’d think this rundown hole could be someone’s house.

“We brought you back here afta your little display in the alley. Figured it was the least I could do afta….well ya know.” Butcher says while gesturing to her generally, “And I’ve neva met a supe what ask ta die. So tickle me curious.”

Emmy thinks back to their altercation and recalls her desperate plea to end it all.

“Let’s just say I’ve had a bad couple of days.” She whispers. This seems to appease Butcher for the moment as he hands over the bottle of water. She takes it quickly, chugging down almost half of its contents before stopping to heave in air like she hasn’t breathed for weeks. She waits for Butcher to say something but when he doesn’t she rolls her eyes.

“Look, I didn’t do anything to the cart okay?” Emmy mumbles. The silence of the man opposite her putting her even more on edge, “You bring me here to kill me or something?”

“Nah. If I wanted ya dead, you’d be dead.” Butcher answers with a shit-eating grin.

Emmy nods slowly, “That’s, um, very comforting.”

“Look, I’m not in the habit of picking up strays. But my mate was giving me fucking grief about leavin’ ya.” Not totally untrue, Butcher thinks. Hughie had argued like a little bitch but Butcher was also not lying when he said he was curious about the bedraggled supe.

Emmy thought for a moment back to the alley and how concerned his friends had seemed. “….Hughie?” She says absentmindedly. “Or MN….MM?”

Butcher sighs and hangs his head in mock upset, “See. You shouldn’ta told me ya know our names.”

“You were hardly being careful!” Emmy says with rushed defense.

“Well I wasn’t plannin’ on you makin’ it out of that alley.” Butcher snaps back, raising his voice in annoyance. Emmy knows she should be terrified, definitely more scared than she is. This guy jumped on her the second he caught a whiff of her power. But really, he just looks exhausted now. Totally fed up. And like he said, if he wanted her dead, she’d probably already be dead.

Butcher narrows his eyes at Emmy and almost smirks when she does the same to him. They stare at each other for a few seconds, until the insane situation she’s found herself in causes Emmy to do the last thing Butcher expects her to do.

She laughs.

“I’m….I’m sorry” she gasps between laughs, “I, uh...I haven’t slept in like…2 days”. She breaks off to laugh silently into the hand she smacked to her mouth. Butcher furrows his brow and this seems to set her off even more.

“And…it kinda felt like…” she tries to continue without laughing but fails, “it felt like….we were having the world’s most…awkward…staring contest.” By the time Emmy finishes, she’s wiping tears out of her tired eyes. She manages to calm herself down enough that Butcher thinks it’s safe to speak.

But the moment he opens his mouth, Emmy erupts into laughter again.

“Alrigh’!” Butcher shouts and Emmy’s laughter retreats.

“Sorry…I’m…scared I am…you’re very scary.” She says sincerely despite the humour in her tone. She coughs the last of the laughter away and takes another sip of water before handing it back to Butcher who puts it on the table.

“Look. I wanna know who’s afta ya.” He says sternly and Emmy nods, watching her own hands as she fiddles with a thread on the sofa. What has she got left to lose?

“Umm okay, well….I dunno to be honest. Maybe no one? Maybe police? I just assume someone is.” She replies, only making eye contact once she’s finished.

“And why, prey tell, would the cops be afta ya?” Butcher whispers menacingly, the way he does. He sees the hesitation on Emmy’s face and runs his large hand down his own, groaning. He has a feeling that his usual intimidation technique isn’t going to cut it here.

He looks again at the old cuts and bruises on her face and sighs. She probably wants reassurance. Reassurance that he won’t turf her over to the cops or worse, whoever she worries is after her.

The problem is, Butcher doesn’t know how to be reassuring anymore. And why should he be? He doesn’t know this girl. She’s a supe. Whether she acts like one or not isn’t his business. His business is straightening them out. Ending them if need be.

But something tugs at him. Something akin to guilt, again. Maybe empathy? Who the fuck knows.

“Look. I’m sorry ‘bout the alley alrigh’? Wasn’t my finest moment.” Butcher says sighing, hoping it’ll soften her to him and he can get his information. That’s why he’s doing it. That’s the only reason he apologised…

“Why did you…?” Emmy asks quietly but can’t quite find the right word. Attack her? Accuse her? Threaten her? All of the above?

Butcher shakes his head, “Answer mine ‘nd I’ll answer yours.”

“Okay. Um. So I didn’t know I was a….’supe’….until around 2 days ago.” Emmy begins but stops when Butcher scoffs.

“Whatta you, 25/26?” he asks disbelievingly. He’s never heard of someone being so old before a power materialised.

“29. And it’s weird. Believe me, I know.” Emmy says sternly, annoyed that he’s interrupted her already, “But it’s true.”

Butcher smirks and gestures for her to continue.

“I’ve always been a fast healer.”

“Plus side of being a supe eh?” Butcher says mockingly and he takes note of the way Emmy’s nostrils flare.

“You keep saying that. Supe, supe,  supe! Until the other day, I didn’t know I could do what I did.” Emmy bites back angrily.

“And what did you do?” Butcher asks, ignoring her anger and raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Why did you attack me!?” Emmy asks firmly, no longer allowing her fear to cloud her brain. The whole situation is starting to really piss her off. So much had happened in the last couple of days and she honestly felt like she was losing her mind. “You don’t even know my fucking name. But you kicked me in the fucking face.”

Butcher can’t help but smile. She’s feisty, he thinks. A far cry from the grovelling girl in the alley. If he’d been faced with this side of her, he’s not sure she’d be sitting here right now.

“Alrigh’. I’ll play.” Butcher says calmly, “Me ‘nd my…mates…we ain’t a fan of supes doin’ whatever tha fuck they please. And that’s what we fought you were doin’. Now, what. Did. You. Do.”

Emmy sighs and rubs exasperatingly at her face with the sleeves of her hoodie. When she pulls her hands back, she’s surprised at how much bloods come from her face, “Wow. You really did a number on me.”

“That I did.” Butcher responds quickly, grinning. Was he proud of that? Who the fuck is this guy? Why couldn’t that sweet looking one be here instead.

Emmy looks at the blood on her sleeves again and weighs her options. She could stay quiet and probably die. Or try to escape and probably die. Or maybe cooperate and get a chance to live. Not exactly a Sophie’s Choice. She lowers her hands and lets out a large sigh.

If he hates supes so much, maybe he’ll understand?

“When I was ten I was put with a foster family. Had a shit-tone of foster siblings. Like, they never stopped coming and going.” Emmy rubs again at her tired eyes and clears her throat. The man opposite her stares with an unreadable expression. “We were slave labour really….the family….they’re not good people. And you don’t just leave. They make sure of that.”

Emmy stops to gather her thoughts. Fuck she’s tired. And hungry. At that thought, her stomach growls but she jumps when Butcher clears his throat and says, “Haven’t got all day luv.”

Emmy scoffs and nods. Basically, hurry the fuck up.

“What you need to understand is….we were untouchable. We never went to school, but no one questioned it. People showed up dead but the police just, acted like nothing happened. It was like some…hickville mafia.”

“Mafia?” Butcher repeats and Emmy just laughs.

“We weren’t like the Godfather or anything. But yeah. We ran drugs, weapons…..and as I recently found out. People.” Emmy gestures for the bottle of water and Butcher begrudgingly hands it over. She downs the rest of the bottle and feels a blinding pain behind one of her eyes. Great. “Look, I burnt the fucking place down okay.”

Emmy pushes on the increasing pain that throbs behind her eye. This isn’t the time to be getting a migraine. Butcher takes a moment to think on Emmy’s story. It’s not the craziest one he’s ever heard but that’s not hard with the type of shit he sees.

“So your….fire thing. Didn’t happen till the otha day?” he asks plainly.

“Nope. Never had any idea about it.” Emmy answers quickly, squinting against the lights of the room. Butcher’s a pretty good judge of character and he’s basically trained in telling if someone’s lying. She’s not lying.

“Where were you before then? Before the foster family?” Butcher asks while picking up the antiseptic wipes and motioning for Emmy to sit forward. She hesitates but, in the end, finds herself leaning in for him to wipe at the dried blood around her face. He’s not exactly gentle but she does note how he spends time to check each open wound. Making sure nothing nasty has found its way into the cuts.

“That’s the thing. I have no idea.” She pauses briefly to hiss in pain has Butcher presses on a fresh bruise, “Before...the fire…I was going through all the paperwork that I wasn’t supposed to. After I found out about the…people. And I found years’ worth of account stuff I’d never seen. The head of the family is a stickler for paperwork.” Emmy laughs humourlessly. Remembering how many clips round the head she got as a child when something was misfiled, “All these payments to an account I didn’t know about. And it came from one company. Vought.”

At the mention of Vought, Butcher stops his inspection of Emmy’s wounds and sits back to look at her. Emmy finds herself instantly missing the feel of his hands on her face but shakes the thought from her mind as quick as it came.

“Pass me my bag.” She says and after a second Butcher does. She doesn’t go into the bag, instead turns it around to pick at some stiches on it’s back. After the stiches come away, she slips a piece of paper out of a small opening of the fabric. She opens the paper, which is singed, to show a large payment from Vought to who Butcher imagines to be the foster family.

“There were years’ worth of these. Why was Vought sending random payments to a small crime family!?” Emmy asks, knowing Butcher wouldn’t have the answer to her question, “I saw the name and…just…I have this feeling. That Vought had something to do with…me. The bits I can’t remember.”

Butcher’s mind was racing. That was a lot of information to get in a couple of seconds. Should he ask her more about her foster family? No they don’t matter....or do they? He has no bloody clue. From the burnt edges of the paper he can only assume the rest of the papers went up in flames. 

Emmy’s just watching him for a reaction but he has no idea what to say yet. He can’t exactly fill her in on his business, but he’s also not planning on letting her walk out the door so quickly when she may know more than she thinks. So he does what he usually does. Acts.

Butcher quickly snatches the piece of paper from Emmy and pockets it.

“Hey!” Emmy says lunging forward, only to be pushed easily back onto the sofa by Butcher. He gets up and goes into the other room and comes back a second later with his coat.

“There’s some food around ‘ere somewhere. Water in the tap.” He says gesturing around and not directly looking at Emmy.

“Where the fuck are you going!?” Emmy shouts, jumping up. She’s quite a bit shorter than Butcher but he has to admire her temper.

“Look, if I were you, I’d grab summit ta eat. Pop some painkillers ‘nd takea nap. But that’s just me.” he says bending down condescendingly to Emmy’s height.

Before Emmy can say anything else, Butcher sweeps past her to the door. He gets his phone out and puts it to his ear.

“Don’t worry Sparky, I’ll be back latea.” Butcher winks before calling whoever is on the other line a “cunt” and slamming the door behind him. Emmy also hears the obvious clunk of a lock sliding into place.

Emmy looks around the dark, dingy room as the pain in her head starts to really make itself known. She stands in the same spot Butcher left her in for at least 5 minutes, going over the last day or so in her mind.

“I need a fucking drink.”