#also sorry for being extremely inactive ??

[arovalentines]

giving him a swirly

[furute]

preview page of the halloween special!!!

[polevaultingzombie]

are you dead?

no it’s just that

mental health blah blah blah

being a senior in high school is hard

main hyperfixation right now is pizza tower on god im so fucking normal abt that game if you want content from me run to my main @800db-cloud

[sagemoderocklee]

adding op’s tags because they are so important to this conversation

Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.

But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!

Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.

Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.

I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....

With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....

Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?

[mono-dot-jpeg]

bad decisions - i. sae, b. meguru & m. reo

summary; let's make some bad decisions.

genre/extra tags; rambling post?/scenarios???, fluff but not really, diet fluff, and diet angst, late night thoughts combined with day light thoughts, might be ooc

a/n; im gonna go out on a limb here and say you dont want yandere obsessive tendencies in the relationship (i dont write yandere bc i hate that trope and i dont understand the appeal). i only did three bc this was all i can think of, im so sorry- hope you enjoy this either way. thank you for requesting and for your patience.

i think we all saw this coming when i say, sae probably gotta have some odd habits and thoughts when it comes to being a relationship. he's precise and serious in his soccer, and that bleeds into his relationships. it has nothing to you, no, not when he's so used to seeing into every detail and every possibility. he keeps trying to predict what you will do, and then you surprise him when it's not what he expected. most of the time, this happens when you're just doing something without much thought. he gets kind of weird about it though, he just blue-screens and had to take a moment before asking what is wrong with you because you didn't do the thing he expected. you have to tell him that this is just how you are, and he refuses to be outsmarted by his partner when he's usually the one with the brain cell between you two.

he feels the need to check on you a lot because he doesn't express it outright. he observes you like he's in a game match. it's cute at first but then you realize, "oh god he's really paying attention a little too well..."

he hates if you ever even try to interact with rin. he is one jealous little shit. if he's in a good mood [which is hard to tell with him], you have like a higher chance of talking to rin. but most days, he's keeping you away from him.

bachira is unpredictable and he's crazy. he loves you a lot. and i mean a lot. he's extremely clingy towards things he cherishes and that probably stems from the lack of friends he had back then and he's just scared to lose you. but sometimes he really impedes on the day-to-day routine. he needs reassurance when you're gone. he texts you a lot. very standard clingy person.

he feels the need to be a guard dog. he's possessive but not in the way sae would be with his jealously. no, bachira is possessive but he's confident that he will keep you protected from others. but also he loves to wreak havoc so he likes being loud about being clingy and protective. it can get overwhelming.

i'm gonna be real, this one is short because bachira's traits could probably be pretty amplified in a relationship and honestly, i would go as far as to think that most of his traits would just be either better or worse in a relationship.

overbearing. that should be enough to explain it.

he's got a weird complex with him. at least that is what i think. he really stuck with nagi a lot, and i think he would do the same in a romantic relationship. he's gotten too used to coddling nagi and he does the same to you. he spoils you. and it's great at first, but it can be a lot at once. and honestly i think he feels the need to compensate for something. what is the thing he's compensating for? i don't know, but he gives me those "compensating for something with money" vibes.

i think it's safe to say that all the boys have a pride to uphold and reo is no different. he hates being inactive. he wants to help you all the time. and i mean all the time. he wants to be useful but he goes at it terribly. he wants to be relied on.

is it crazy to say that i think reo is the worst out of the three here? probably but whatever.

[judeslove]

the girl behind the camera - 1.

pairing - jude bellingham x fem!reader genre - fluff, slight suggestive content warnings - none summary - flying to qatar to be a camera person for the 2022 world cup was exciting by itself, but who knew you’d also find the person you will fall inlove with.

series masterlist

"girl leave, you're gonna be late!" your bestfriend, nella, shouted through your phone. it was true, if you wouldn't leave now, you would be late since your uber had been waiting outside for 5 minutes already.

you were flying to qatar for the 2022 world cup as a camera person, and the staff helping to host the world cup were kind enough to get you a hotel room that you didn't have to pay for at all.

originally you applied as a joke, but then you actually ended up getting hired for the job. the salary was unsurprisingly high, paying up to a thousand per match.

you entered the uber and immedeatly apologised for being extremely late, having to make the driver wait for 10 extra minutes. the driver said you would have to pay an extra fifty dollars, which you first frowned at, but then didn't really think much of since you were going to be earning a lot for the next few months anyways. you opened up instagram and the first person on your feed was an account named "judebellingham". you rolled your eyes at the posts comments. they were full of teenager girl drooling over his looks, calling him bae or claiming him as their man. recently there were rumours that he was dating someone eitherway, so do they think they even have a chance with him, you thought. but deep inside your heart you couldn't deny it. you also had a little liking for him, but you were still constantly reminding yourself that you have no chance with him. sooner or later you fell out of your thoughts and payed the money and thanked the driver.

the airport you were at was huge, like insanely huge. shops everywhere, full of people and life. the excitement started bubbling inside of you again. you just couldn't believe it. a free flight to qatar to watch the world cup right infront of your eyes? yes ma'am.

after getting through the security, even though they were suspicious of your loose setting powder, mistaking it for something else, you now had free time for an hour to go around the airport and go shopping. you needed new makeup and fragrances either way.

time went by extremely quick, as you hadn't even noticed that the hour had almost passed already. it was 10.23, and your flight left at 10.50. a call for your flight was made to announce that boarding had started. you quickly fleed to your gate and took your seat on the plane. putting your headphones on, you immedeatly got comfortable after the plane had already flown off the ground. you ended up dozing off.

prev. <- -> next.

note - so so sorry for the inactivity and the short chapter </3

💌 judeslove on tumblr.

[blazing-arsonist]

Quick sepbox dump. Sry for being so inactive I’ve been pummeled by art block for this whole year. And I’m currently on vacation so .,,

also sorry for long post lmao

Extremely bottom text

[tarotphlow]

Astro Observations 7

🎡Having a Taurus moon can make a native somewhat of an enabler if their aspects are not properly balanced

🎡Pluto can give insight into what’s hidden using degrees of the planet. For example, a cap rising who has a Pluto placement at an Aries degree could indicate hidden enemies regarding family or home security seeing that a cap risings 4H would be in Aries

🎡your very likely to attract placements that are similar to yours,

🎡laughing because your extremely upset just exudes fire energy. Also cap mars energy Too oddly enough 🤭

🎡it seems like air moons daydream a lot… as well as water moons too. Air likes to think a lot and water likes to feel a lot. Soo this makes sense

🎡Aquarians do genuinely come off as aloof and distant but they just genuinely like having time to themselves, while air signs are very sociable Aquarius is the most advanced out of all 3 of them so sometimes they’ll just be like that lol.

🎡something about having a Scorpio MC and not wanting to say all to much about what happened at work today 🤨

🎡moon trine Lilith could indicate you intimidate others from some sort of emotional intelligence 🧞

🎡Aries suns can get a lot of flack for being… well an Aries, but If think about how the sun is exalted within the sign of Aries it makes sense. People pleasing and being nice to everyone can only do so much, your gonna have to worry about yourself too before you like crumble, what I mean is sometimes being selfish works out sometimes sense you make sure you get you before anyone else does, this is also why Libra is fall in the sun, too much worry about other people and not yourself!! (This is self drag high-key high-key 😔)

🎡speaking of libra sun, there are a good number of indicators that suggest parental issues in astrology:

Daddy issues: Libra sun, sun square mars, sun square Saturn, Sun square or opposite Chiron,Saturn opposite Chiron

Mommy issues : Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio moon. Chiron opposite moon, North Node conjunct moon (depends on the rest of the chart that conjunct is more nuanced.) moon opposite ascendant. Moon in the 6th

(If you need more reason for these aspects comment, I’ll do my best to answer your questions!)

End of observations! I hope y’all enjoyed it sorry about the inactivity. Life is extremely hectic rn, kinda going through a tower moment of sorts so yea I’m thankful for everyone’s patience though!💜

[hydriadd]

WOOO RANDOM DEATH FAMILY HEADCANONS

Lmao sorry pissa and death family nation for being somewhat inactive, take these headcanons that probably don’t align with canon as compensation

THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT CONTENT CREATORS BTW

Not a single person in the Death Family is warm to touch and can often be cold before bed, their houses and nests are always somehow really warm and blanket full

Missa and Phil built a small shelf in the kitchen in the house at old spawn, Missa and Chayanne have filled it with cookbooks

Tallulah knows how to make perfume and because Missa has been away for a while, Tallulah has been making perfumes for him for when he gets back

Adding onto the last one, there have been lots of ‘failed attempts’, ie Tallulah was being nit picky with the scents and trying to figure out exactly what he likes

Missa will like anything and everything given to him, so long as it’s made with love

Phil, on the other hand, will like everything and anything given to him even if it’s given with hate, because he assumes the other has a connection to it (assumes they might just like things like he does)

When Missa first left on the old spawn Phil used to make small dinners for him that wouldn’t go bad for a while just in case Missa came back when he came back

Overtime, they would get more complex and put in the fridge with a note left for him

Every single meal, regardless of what it is, will have toast cut in the shape of Phil’s had with avocado making the green stripes, and another toast cut like a skull with blueberries for the details

Chayanne used to stress bake when his parents were gone, and that improved his skills in cooking really quickly

Tallulah walks extremely quietly, Chayanne picked this up and it scares Phil every time

Despite his parents vibes and all that, Chayanne refuses to wear black sweaters specifically, shirts are on thin ice and black k shorts or pants are a coin flip, this is because he doesn’t like flour showing on them when he doesn’t want to use an apron

Tallulah used to pick at her nails when nervous, but started picking at flowers instead and now her nails hurt if she scratches you

It doesn’t matter who you are, if you become apart of the Death Family, the first thing you’re taught is how to paint your nails

When Phil doesn’t have a bookmark with him and when his wings had healed enough, he would pluck a feather out and use it as a bookmark

Either Phil or Missa doggy ears pages in a book and genuinely can’t tell who, I just think one of them does even if they have a bookmark available

There are a shit ton of keychains on Phil’s bag, you give him one, it could be of anything (besides anything fed related), it’s going on that bag

Phil sometimes wishes he could proper speak bird, I guess, this is only so he could also flirt with and compliment Missa in another language like he does

Chayanne has crocs

When Tallulah cut her hair, she asked for a photo of Missa and mimicked his hairstyle

Whenever Missa is awake/goes to sleep with Phil, the eggs silently rejoice because those two hug each other extremely closely when they sleep

Despite Missa being gone for the longest time, when Phil didn’t come back on Mexican Independence Day, he developed a fear of him leaving him, like physically being far away when he didn’t know where he is and if he was okay, he understands now what Phil feels when he’s gone

Missa, because he’s the tallest between a bird man and children, will pick them up and spin them, even if only for a bit lmao he’s not strong

Adding onto that one, whenever Phil is too excited or stress or just overwhelmed with any emotions, Missa spins him around to help and it works for some reason

Phil started to spin himself in circles when overwhelmed and when Missa was gone

After the birdhouse and when Phil was physically alone, he used to sit by a crafting table with rocks and ores and make little figures of Chayanne, Tallulah and Missa, they weren’t the best and didn’t the proportions weren’t amazing, but he spent weeks on each one and added little faces with a marker

He left the Chayanne and Tallulah statues on their respective beds, with Missa beside the flower pot, hoping they would be replaced with the real people when he woke up

They never were, but Phil put them in the window upstairs once the eggs were back

When the eggs first went missing, Phil took out some cookbooks, and every single meal that looked frequently used/visited was made, and always left out for Missa

If they weren’t eaten, Phil would eat half of it for his dinner the next day, the other half in a fridge

He actually made Missa a fridge to put all these meal in and painted it to suit his vibes

The trash cans used to always filled with sticky notes because everyday, Phil would write ‘Dinner for you’ with a silly little doodle on it for Missa if he returned while sleeping

Tallulah writes in cursive

When Missa was gone, Phil used to write his name like Misƨa (second s is backwards) and make the tops each s look like half a heart, so it made a heart in his name

Missa picked up on this and always wrote Philza instead of Phil so he could put a heart with the z and a

Im bad at explaining so this is what I mean by their names:

[acourtofthought]

Maybe if E*riel can stop spreading lies that Lucien (and Tamlin) are the reason Elain was kidnapped, they might start believing the truth instead. It’s been years n they’re still blaming Lucien for the sisters’ kidnapping in ACOMAF, using it as justification for why Elain shouldn’t be with “cruel and useless�� Lucien who not only caused the sisters to change but also didn’t help Feyre.

Agreed. I think their comprehension of the books would be better if they'd stop changing what actually happened. In ACOMAF, the text literally shows that Lucien was shocked by the sisters appearance in Hybern's castle. His words are "She sold out - she sold out Feyre's family. To you." Ianthe even admits that she's the one responsible but claimed it to be for Feyre's benefit, that she thought she was doing her a favor (lies of course). We literally have Lucien's absolute bewilderment playing out on page and a confession from both the King and Ianthe as to the part they (not Lucien) played. The king even says he tried to get the human queens to sell out the sisters first and when they wouldn't he turned to Ianthe (not Lucien). Just because the sisters were initially resentful over what happened it doesn't mean it was Lucien's fault. It's kind of the thing they do, right? They tend to look for someone to blame when angry? I mean, Nesta blamed Feyre for them being made as well, does that mean it was actually Feyre's fault? Does that mean Elain should have nothing to do with Feyre since Nesta believed Feyre was responsible for what happened to them and therefore she should have nothing to do with the "cruel and useless sister who allowed them to be kidnapped?" There are different ways of reading these books. One way is to not care what's actually written and to instead choose to be personally offended by things and refuse to move forward with the story as a result. That's kind of how I feel when people are still hung up on Nesta and Elain's inaction in the cabin during book 1. "I would never forgive my sisters if they did that therefore I hate Nesta and Elain even now!" Ok then, they can have fun with that because Sarah left that plotline all the way back in ACOTAR and we've moved on. The train has left the station and some have clearly missed it because Sarah does not seem to agree. Or they can pay attention to what's written and despite their own personal feelings, they can accept the story the author is telling. "I hate Lucien because he's the reason Elain was made!" is not at all what Sarah wrote. Sorry, but it's not and canon proves that. If Lucien was truly to blame he would have never been allowed in the Night Court. He would have failed Mor's test of truth. Nesta would have NEVER struck up conversation with him in SF or called Elain a wretch for taking the seat farthest from him. We've all met Nesta, right? Does she seem like the type that would offer pleasantries with the guy who caused what happened to them? I've come to the conclusion that they either skip over the parts of the book that have Lucien in it or they've seen them but it worries them too much so they pretend they haven't. Because they're sitting there tearing him down, acting like he's weak and unimportant, that he's ugly and a betrayer but boy are they ever going to be surprised when they get to his shared POV book and find out that he's an extremely hot future High Lord with power to spare, one who gets the girl and is welcomed by all as the mate of one Archeron and the brother in-law of the other two.

[pulim-v]

Okay I see no reason not to post this rn other than inactivity (and I can always tag people so eh)

Oh also relevant disclaimer this might be weird but the feathers on a bird's head are referred to as "hair" in fgcc. Don't ask me why idk either.

Fern's Crush: a Foggy Glasses and Corroded Copper Scene

"Via... we need to talk." Fern said, startling Via with her sudden appearance.

"What's up, Fern? Everything alright?" Octavia said, looking directly at Fern as she took note of his appearance.

Fern looked... messy. His hair was ruffled, her face feathers intensely ruffled, forehead glittering with sweat and chest quickly moving with his rapid breaths.

Fern took a step forward, entering Octavia's dorm room, and she directed him to the bed next to her. As she sat down, Octavia turned off her computer screen, took off her earphones, and directed her gaze to Fern again, waiting to see what she would say.

It took him a few moments, as he sat there silently, still seeming extremely nervous, but eventually he started talking:

"I... I think I have a crush on Spark. I don't know how long it's been, I just know the other day they hugged me and I started blushing and I can't stop thinking about them, and oh gosh what do I do, Via? Please help me, I don't know what having a crush is like, what if they reject me?"

"Oh," Octavia said, startled, "is that it? Like, just that?" She twirled a part of her hair with her finger, pondering on what she'd say to help.

"What do you mean "just that"? I'm freaking out over here!"

"Yeah, sorry about that", Octavia chuckled, "it's just that... can't you just confess to them? I get that it's new to you, but that just sounds like the best option".

"I don't know, it's complicated!" Fern started running his hands through his hair, exasperated "Like, what if they reject me? What if they don't want to talk to me ever again?"

"Okay, let's calm down a bit." Octavia said as she grabbed Fern's hands and pulled them down, placing them on Fern's lap. "Let's just try to imagine what could happen." She said, holding up a hand so she could count. "One: Spark doesn't reject you, everything turns out fine, and you two start dating. Two: Spark does reject you, you move on, you two remain as friends. Three: Spark does reject you and doesn't want to be friends, you move on, I give them a piece of my mind and you go back to being friends."

"It's not that simple," Fern scoffed. "you cant just force us to be friends like that!"

"Yeah, but Spark would have been a terrible person if they stopped being friends with you over this." Fern started to intervene, but Octavia held a finger out, asking him to wait until she was done talking. "Besides, it's better to actually ask them out than to pretend like you don't like them, that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen"

"That's easy for you to say, Mrs. "I'm clearly in love with Dew but won't do anything about it"!" Fern almost shouted, getting up slightly from the bed.

Octavia felt her face getting warmer. She started to get nervous, so she reached out to her hair to start fidgeting with it, forgetting that it was untied. She took a few locks of hair in her hands and started messing with them, thinking of what to say. Meanwhile, Fern was still exasperated, but seemingly shrunk back into the bed.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for" he said, looking away from his friend.

"Was it that obvious?" Octavia furrowed her eyebrows and bit her cheek, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to calm her down.

Fern chuckled. "Via, you're the least expressive person I know, and your face still turns bright red whenever they talk to you"

Octavia's face started to get even warmer, at which point she buried it in her hands and averted Fern's gaze, looking at the black screen of her computer. She took note of her own reflection in it: her face had a bit of sweat in it, her hair was messier than usual, and even through the tinted screen her snout was visibly reddened. She slowly took a breath, turned back towards Fern, and replied:

"I don't know... that's different... it would be really awkward, I don't want to sacrifice the friendship we have."

"That's what I'm saying with regards to Spark! They're my crush, yeah, but they're also my first friend... I can't afford to mess it up with them." Fern said, her voice clearly strained.

"I... I don't know Fern, I think I understand what you mean a little bit more now. Gosh, I'm a real hypocrite, huh? I'm really sorry for that"

"No need to apologize, I'm just too pathetic to actually take your advice to heart," Fern chuckled and extended their arms, "can I..."

Octavia hugged Fern, running her large hands through his soft hair. She felt his hands grab her back, touching the thin fabric of the simple dress she was wearing. The two stayed in there for a few seconds, with Octavia feeling Fern's heartbeat slow down and his movements get subtler. At one point, she heard a chuckle.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing", Fern said, "it's just that now that I think of it, aren't we both just kinda... pathetic? It's stupid, we don't even have the guts to do something as simple as confessing a crush"

"Hey! Don't say that!" Octavia broke free from the hug, looking directly at Fern. She quickly let her gaze wander, though, contemplating his words. "Yeah... I guess we are..."

"Thanks for this, Via" Fern said, pulling her back into the hug and letting his head rest on her shoulder.

"No problem, Fern" Octavia said, lost in thought as she let her hand run through Fern's hair.

[underoospeterparker]

hi! Im not quite sure if your requests are open at the moment, but I was wondering if you could possibly write a Poly! Marauders x reader? Maybe where the reader talks a lot and is ignored by parents and friends of is yelled at often for small nervous habits they do unconsciously? You don't have to ofc!

Love ur work!!

hi guys! i've been inactive for a while, trying to focus on schoolwork and things, but now i have some time so i thought i would write something! i'm sorry if i didn't respond to any requests, ill try to get those done asap. thanks so much! love u guys<3

to anon: ofc! hope i did this one right:) i kind of did it more hurt/comfort cause you guys know i love my comfort trope<3 also if you didn't want it like this, don't hesitate to send me another req if this was too over the top with the hurt, or you didn't like the tropes:)

warnings: implied and referenced abuse, mention of sirius's past trauma & abuse, feeling not good enough, insecurity, shy!reader, introverted!reader, bruises, hurt/comfort, crying

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"(y/n!)" you snapped out of your daydream, blinking your eyes lazily as your focus adjusted to your surroundings. "ignoring us is not okay, (y/n). you need to tell us why you are behind in your classes. you're not doing good enough. we need you to stop getting distracted and focus on your work." your dad scolded you.

"argus, don't you think you're being a bit too rough on her?" your mother said quietly. "i'm sure she's doing her-"

"eleanor, don't interrupt me," your dad said quietly. that shut your mother up, and she said nothing else. you felt for her in that moment, being trapped in a relationship where she couldn't say anything, couldn't voice her own opinions because they would get shut down every single time.

it scared you to think of ever being in a marriage like theirs. because of your parents, you had trust issues, and you didn't think you could let anyone into your heart because of how your parents ended up.

they were high school sweethearts, fell in love at the young age of 16. as a kid, you would look through old boxes in cupboards, filled with old pictures of your mother and father at your age. it was crazy to think that they too fell in love, just like you.

but how their love ended up petrified you. how they thought their love would never end but it did, when you were born. you'd never seen your parents happy, let alone happy together.

playing with your fingers to try and distract yourself from the conversation you were having, you thought of your own relationship with your boyfriends. it was the complete opposite of your parents. they were comforting, respectful, caring and they always loved you no matter what.

your thoughts were interrupted by your father's voice. "for god's sake, stop fidgeting like that!" he yelled, and grabbed your wrists tightly, making you flinch. you could already feel the bruises forming.

"i'm sorry. i'll work harder," you murmured, eyes focused on the floor. you couldn't meet their eyes. you knew you were a disappointment to them. it just hurt too much to even look at them.

THE NEXT DAY

hogwarts was made for gifted witches and wizards. although you were relatively smart, you had to work really hard to get good grades, as opposed to some of your friends who barely studied and still managed to get exceptional grades. it infuriated you.

you had managed to convince two of your friends to help you study, as they were really good at astronomy.

at the library, you were excitedly telling your friends about a new book you were reading. you continued, a huge smile on your face, saying, "and so then, the she finally gets together with him, and it's just so dreamy and i-"

"oh my god, (y/n)! are you done?" your friend snapped at you. she looked extremely annoyed at you, and once you glanced at the clock you saw that you'd only been speaking for a few minutes. you didn't get why she had to be so annoyed with you. you didn't do anything wrong, did you?

your smile dissolved, and you quietly said, "yeah."

your friend then proceeded to tell you guys about her new relationship with cedric, who you didn't care about in the least. "i'm just gonna go up to the dormitories," you said quietly, excusing yourself. your friends didn't even notice your departure.

what kind of friends were they? they hurt your feelings, always making you feel worthless, just like your parents. your boyfriends had told you they were both wastes of time but you had ignored them.

'where are they, anyways?' you thought to yourself as you looked around for your boyfriends. you needed them right now. tears pooled behind your lash line as you thought about what had happened.

you felt almost guilty for wanting to see your boyfriends. you didn't want them to pity you, and so you went up to your dormitory, which was completely empty at this early hour. falling face flat onto your bed, you finally let your tears fall.

a few minutes later, you heard a knock at the door, then a soft, "baby? are you in there?" it sounded like james, and you sobbed quietly at his voice, at the comfort it brought you even without seeing him.

"c'mon, let us in," remus said through the door.

"please?" sirius chimed in. "if you don't, we'll feed you to the rats."

"pads!" james whisper-screamed. "why would you say that?"

you smiled. they could easily cheer you up, even just their voices.

you grabbed your wand off the bedside and undid the lock on the door. your boyfriends came bursting in, not expecting the sudden movement, and they caught sight of you on your bed.

"oh, sweetheart," rem said softly.

making his way over to you, he pulled you into his lap and your legs encircled his waist. you let your head fall into his chest and his hand came up to smooth your hair. "shhh," he cooed into your ear. "it's okay."

jamie was already on the other side of you, thumb stroking your palm, already warming you up. you winced slightly as his thumb pressed on your bruise from yesterday.

siri sat on the bed opposite you, and his eyes darkened protectively when he saw the bruises lining your wrists. "pup, what's this?"

for a second you were confused, then you realised what he was talking about. your eyes grew wide as you said, "it's nothing, siri, I promise." you knew about his past, you didn't want to bring it up and have him do something he would regret.

"no, sweetheart," sirius put a finger under your chin, tilting your head so your eyes could meet his. "who did this to you?"

your eyes filled with tears and the anger on his face softened, but he was still inquisitive. "dad," you mumbled under your breath. "but it wasn't his fault, i was being a brat, and-" your tears came back full force, and you whispered, "and i'm not good enough for them." you laughed wetly, then continued. "my friends ignore me. they probably think I'm stupid and useless. i don't deserve to be here. it's all my fault for being friends with them. it's my fault for not working hard enough for my parents."

the boys exchanged a look over your head. their princess, believing she wasn't good enough? well, they couldn't have that.

sirius lifted his hand from your chin to cup your cheek. you leaned against the warmth radiating from his palm, tears still silently flowing down your face. "it's not your fault," he murmured. "it's never your fault. please remember that, baby."

"you deserve everything and more," james said softly.

remus hugged you tightly against his chest. "don't let anyone ever tell you different, princess."

you cried into remus's sweater, letting out everything you'd felt the past few days. they let you cry, knowing it'd be useless to try and get you to stop. you needed a good cry.

"i'm so-"

"don't you dare apologise." sirius's eyes grew serious. "otherwise we're truly feeding you to the rats."

you giggled, hand coming up to wipe your tears but james did it for you himself. they really treated you like their princess.

"i love you guys," you mumbled, sniffling quietly.

their faces softened. "love you too, bug."

[bjornswoman]

Enemy's cruelty

Author's note: Hello, I know that I've been away for a long time and I'm sorry for that but I needed some time away. Recently I came back in the app and realised that I never posted this part so this is my way to apologise for being inactive for so long. I hope you will enjoy this.

Pairing: Ubbe x Reader.

Genre: Mini!series, drama, angst, slight romance.

Summary: You are planning to leave Ubbe after the news you received.

Warnings: Violence (emotional and physical), mentions of strangulation, mentions of marriage and strong language.

My enemy and me masterlist | Nemesis's wish |

History had always had this odd tendency repeating itself.

The first one was Ragnar Lothbrok. He cheated on his wife with princess Aslaug – Ubbe's mother – and she showed up on his doorstep with child – his child. Lagertha had no choice but to leave him. After all, that should be the actions of everyone who had a little bit of dignity left in them.

History is the greatest tutor. It taught you that being a great man, doesn't have to mean that you are an equally great husband.

The sons of Ragnar had a long legacy behind them from the past coming from their father and from the future because they were destined to score great achievements matching their father's reputation or even overcoming him. Though they were famous about their battle and political exploits, when it came to their intimate relationships things were completely the opposite. All their glory were coming in contrast to the infamous rumours surrounding them.

To be honest, the loyal husband didn't exist – or it was extremely rare to exist among them. It was a common secret that they had their affairs in the lands they were raiding, but it was only because they wanted someone to warm their bed for some nights before they come back to their families.

You had never cared about Ubbe's affairs. In fact, you wished something like that happened because you wanted to be free away from this who you hated passionately. But never guessed that the day your wish came true would come. Also, you would never believe that you could feel any other feeling than hate or disgust or anything bad about this awful man.

This was the worst thing that could happen and it did happen at the worst time possible. Ubbe and you had started developing weird feeling for each other – but probably it happened for the best. You were only in the beginning of feeling less abhorrence about the other person and luckily you were back on same terms before you would disappear from Kattegat for good.

Thinking about taking your child and walking away made your heart clench in your chest. You didn't want young Ragnar to grow up apart from Ubbe. You wanted them close, but you couldn't keep them close anymore. You couldn't stay and be more humiliated than before. It wasn't right neither for you nor for your son.

You knew you had to leave immediately and you would when the boy would recover from the flue. He was better the past three days – the fever was almost gone.

The same as Ubbe. Ubbe was barely around. You two couldn't stand each other in the same house. As you were informed by Torvi, he was having restless nights at Great Hall in the company of his brothers.

He wasn't seeing Margrethe anymore.

He barely talked to her.

He didn't talk at all to you.

You didn't talk at all to him.

The only moments his tired hoarse voice made it in your ears were when he was talking to your son, but even then you didn't want to hear him at all. His voice was irritating you even more than before.

You didn't want him around, but you couldn't keep him apart from his son – not when you were about to take him away from him in a matter of days.

You were trying not to think – especially not for him and not when he was around. It was even worse thinking about him and sensing his presence being in the same place as you were.

It was one of those moments, Ragnar was laying on his father's lap and was listening carefully to the stories Ubbe was telling him about his father and the cities they had raided. Ubbe was speaking about his family's legacy proudly and your son was looking at him magnetized. It felt like he was hanging from each word coming out of his mouth.

You dared to dream about a total different life for a damned second, but you erased that bloody thought from your mind the following one. There couldn't be any other alternative life that Ubbe and you could live happily married with Ragnar. You were meant to be at each others throat.

You turned around and pretended to clean your already cleaned house because you didn't want to look at him anymore. You didn't even want to breathe the same air as him.

It was all back to normal – you were back to hate him. The only difference was that after all these events you hated yourself more than you hated him. You were at fault more than he was because you let your guards down. Even for a little amount of time you let yourself change your feelings. It wasn't a wasn't a great change but still it was enough to get hurt.

Hopefully, you wouldn't get to be around him anymore if everything worked according to your plan. You didn't really like the idea of Ragnar growing up without his father, but you couldn't stay. You had been enough humiliated so far because of him and his mistress.

You would have left sooner if it hadn't been for your sick son, but he was getting better now. If your plan worked right, you would be away from this place in two nights from this moment. You would grab your son and leave at dawn before the any fisherman or merchant saw you. You had even paid some fisherman a great amount of gold to let you sail on his boat in the nearest town and there you would find your way alone.

Your mind was so absorbed in your thought about your escape plan that you didn't notice Ubbe and your son moving from the bed. Ubbe stood up and had the child on his lap before placing him inside his crib. After that he came behind you, standing there uncomfortably without saying a word. When, in fact, Ubbe wanted to say something – anything.

You almost startled when you faced him so close to you, but you didn't do any action that would let him notice. It had felt so long since the last time you were facing each other this close – the last time you had fought about his child with that girl. This time didn't feel any different.

You were standing facing each other without speaking, but there were so many unsaid things between you. So much tension that both of you couldn't unsee the fact that it existed.

Before, in moments like that – when you were staring at each other – you were throwing blades at each other. It felt like a whole single combat between the two of you. The first to take his eyes away from the other was the one who lost the battle. But this time, it didn't feel like it.

The anger and hatred were participating as any other time. Only now, another emotion was there too, in addition with the other two. It felt like guilt, coming from both sides for different reasons.

Though Ubbe was the one to blame for the best part of this situation they were put into. It would be only fair to let her go without any word and he knew it himself deep in his heart, but it was hard to accept it – to deal with it. They weren't in the best of terms ever – in fact not even close to good ones – but she had never left or had done anything to humiliate him in public. Their personal matters were kept to themselves within the walls of this house – though it was a common secret that they weren't getting along. Apart from that they kept themselves civil in public and in front of his family even though they knew everything about them.

Ubbe cleared his throat first. He had been wanting to say something since the moment he set his foot in the house, but couldn't form a word. But he knew that he couldn't keep himself from speaking. He had to say something – it felt now or never. Ubbe wanted to clear his position, to apologize. He knew that you wouldn't let him do so.

You were a proud woman – he knew it as he knew that you wouldn't let him say anything about the matter that would be keep things civil between you. In any case, this would end up bad, like it always did. You would fight again and this time it might be worse than the other times because this time you had something really serious to argue about.

"The child seems better." This was the only thing Ubbe managed to say.

You rolled your eyes at his statement and felt your blood boiling. It felt like he was in disbelief that you managed to take good care of your son and he was healthy all over again. You were mad at him for all the other situation with the slave girl, but him undermining you was worse than cheating.

"Did you believe that he wouldn't?" You tone was harsh and bitter. At the sound of it, Ubbe's expression changed. His features hardened and his jaw was clenched. The battle had started once more – like any other time.

"Would you blame me for that? It isn't like you are the most caring person around." His tone was matching to your own which enraged you even more than before. You had all rights of Midgard to be angry and he was trying to turn it to you being a bad mother because you were mean to him.

It wasn't like you didn't know it – you knew that your actions towards him wasn't kind but the opposite. But you weren't this way to your son. Ragnar the Younger was your only comfort, your only companion. The person who made you like your life when you hated it more than ever.

Your love for him was sincere. How could it now be, he was your only child even though he was also the son of your nemesis you couldn't feel any less love for the person who grew inside your body and got out of it. He was yours and you adored him.

"But your whore is, right?" You felt like you were going to strangle him to death with your bare hands. After your words, you didn't even wait for an answer of his or any movement, you were mad and you wanted to take it out of you without pressing your hands on his throat. You had never did something like that – you had slapped him, yes, but your hands never went further than that. "If you believe that she is, you are stupid enough. I have learned not to underestimate any rival of mine and I certainly haven't underestimated you or her. How could I underestimate a slave girl? Slave girls can do anything to get them out of the low position they are and be in power and when they manage to free themselves, they want more and more." A fire was dancing inside the color of your eyes. You were mad and you couldn't keep the words from getting out – you didn't want to keep them.

Ubbe didn't get to say anything. His eyes were glaring directly inside your own burning eyes – his gaze was no different than yours. He didn't answer and you after a short breath you started again with the poisonous words.

"It's so easy to notice that she is a gold digger after your status. Just by looking at the way she has all of you – the sons of the mighty Ragnar Lothbrok – wrapped around her little finger you can say it. You fools have sincere and true feelings for her – how pathetic. But I won't blame you, you can't choose who your heart belonges – unfortunately. Just don't ever judge me again. You can't because you don't me." One long breath again. Your eyes always on his – sign of you believing every word that came out of your mouth. Ubbe was listening to you, preparing for his own little speech.

"I won't deny that I am a cruel woman – I know I can be harsh and bitter, but that's how I grew up. It wasn't easy for me either. I am not a thrall, but all my life it felt like I was. My fate – it seems – is controlled by men, treating me like an object they can use to secure some kind of alliance or a womb that's only use is to produce heirs. But I am a woman – a person." You almost tear up, but before even your tear came make it further than your eye you manage to wipe it away.

When you finished, Ubbe was running his hand through hair, ready to speak himself.

"You speak a lot without really knowing what you are saying – yet your words is your truth. I am not saying that life was kind to you – I can't know what has happened to you before I met you, I can only assume. My life hasn't been kind as well. Everyone is expecting extraordinary things from me because of my father – a father that was never there for me. Most of my life I've been only with my mother – who was never really there – and my brother – Bjorn. If it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't be the man I am." Ubbe was starting calmly and yet so intensely.

"As for Margrethe, don't judge her you don't know her the way me or my siblings do. The problem is between us – it had always been there. We are the people to blame about the tragedies of our lives. You and I have made mistakes and the worst of them all was our lack of interest in hearing to each other. You had problems and I had mine when we married and we let those problem tear us apart. Both of us haven't been the ideal person for the other, but here we other stuck with each other having a conversation that had to be made a long time ago.

"We fucked up our lives with our bare hands and now after all this time of failing ourselves we are called to deal with the consequences."

"You fucked up our lives big time." Your words came out in the most selfish way possible when his own were spoken wisely and reasonably. That was Ubbe people knew and loved.

"Me, alone? As if you are a saint." His bitterness was back, but it wasn't enough to make you stop. You were mad at him.

Yes, his words were right. You were the authors of your destruction and downfall, but his doing – his intimate relationship with her and the aftermath of it, their child – was the worst part of it and was his own doing. He had tore you apart and signed your end. He couldn't say it was both your doing. Well, partially it was, but Ubbe was the one to take the most of the credit about it.

"I am not, but I wasn't the one who humiliated you by sleeping and impregnating a thrall. Be the reasonable man you claim you are and accept the amount of the blame you have, along with the consequences that follow." You spoke calmer than before and took first your eyes away from his. You moved away from him to the crib of your son to check on him. He was asleep, luckily you were calmer than usual and he was able to take his nap.

"This incident is just the tip of the iceberg. We have equal amount of blame for the rift in our marriage." He continued behind you in a tired tone of voice.

Your eyes moved away from the small form of your son and moved to the much larger one of Ubbe. You rolled your eyes once more frustrated. You were done by this. You knew what you had to do to stop all these arguments and drama – you were going to leave just a couple of days had left for you to endure Kattegat and Ubbe.

"Which marriage are you talking about? There's no marriage. You destroyed that." You weren't yelling – just scoffing. But your words, you damn well that wasn't the entire truth. It would be the whole truth if you said that you both destroyed your marriage with your foolish actions.

Your scoffing made Ubbe even more than he was. He moved towards the table and sat down on one of the wooden chairs. You stayed at your former position. You were standing close to your son's crib in front of him.

"You are my wife and that won't change even though both of us would like that." Harsh and calm tone, enough to make your blood boiling for once more. Your lips pursed in a thin line and your jaw clenched.

"Yeah, I forgot you would love to free her and then marry her." Your own tone was an ironic one when you referred to her.

"I intend to marry her regardless."

Your eyes turned to meet his – his blue ones were already gazing you. It was one of those rare moments he caught off guard. For a moment or so you thought that you misheard him, but the fucking expression on his face told you otherwise – told you that you heard clearly his words.

"What?" Your voice wasn't louder than a whisper.

"I'll take her as a second wife of mine. I would tell you under different circumstances, but I have to realize that there would never be ideal or even better circumstances between us. So, yes, Margrethe will be my wife and she will give birth to my child." The whole time Ubbe was speaking, his eyes were studying you – your eyes, your expressions, everything.

You managed to take a couple of steps away from the crib. You couldn't even form a word, because you couldn't process his words.

"Your first and only wife you meant to say."

"You are my first wife."

"I am not your wife anymore."

Your whole conversation was happening – surprisingly – in the most civil way possible. No bitterness, not poisonous words, nothing. The first and hopefully the last time.

"This conversation goes nowhere. You are way too stubborn to understand a couple of things and I have a tone of fucking stuff to deal with. If you decide to calm down before the marriage, good. If not, then I'll take matters in my own hands the way I know." Ubbe stood up from the chair and moved towards you not too close, but not far enough.

"Don't do anything impulsive for your sake."

Low voice, quite threatening and eyes gazing deep in your soul. But you would never let him notice that. You were eyeing him the same way – you would never back down to none especially him.

"I am not afraid of you." Your voice was challenging and for the first time after days a vicious smirk formed on his face.

Ubbe leaned towards you, his hot breath fell on your neck. He took a sip of your scent before any word came out of mouth.

"Maybe not at the moment, but you will be." His voice was soft – softer than ever. Yet that was definitely a threat.

You didn't get to answer to that because he stormed out of the house, leaving you behind confused and angry – definitely not afraid.

The days felt insufferable. Each was another torment for you. You couldn't even step out of the door of your house, everyone was pointing their fingers at you, gossiping about your husband's offspring with the slave girl. They were mocking you – something that you proud self couldn't accept. You glared at them but that wasn't enough to restore your dignity. The only thing that would help your reputation would be to leave him for good and never ever step a foot on this damned grounds.

And the big was finally there. You were only an hour away from your freedom, but your heart was aching. It felt wrong and apart from this another strange feeling were eating you up alive. You felt like you shouldn't leave with your son, but this wasn't an option. You were out of options indeed at the end of the day.

You didn't bother to wake up Ragnar. You wrapped him in a thick fur and put your own black cloak on.

The sheet of snow on the ground and the roofs of the houses was thick. It was very cold this time of the night out there. You shouldn't be out, but you had to make it in the dock and leave to save any little dignity you had left after your husband's achievements.

You walked like a shadow in the way that led on the dock. Your weird feeling was getting stronger and stronger at each step you took towards the directions you wanted. It felt like your heart was trying to warn you not to go – not to leave Ubbe – but your mind was telling you otherwise. You had to leave, to get in that boat and move away from Kattegat.

Eventually, you made it on your destination and took off the hood of your cloak, but something felt off. Things didn't go as you planned them to.

Two men were standing in front of the dock and there wasn't any boat close enough. Moreover, the fisherman you had paid to help you was nowhere to be found. You were watching them like a hawk, trying to study them and find to get away somehow. There was no way back to Kattegat.

You turned around to step back – not to your house – to the forest. There should be a way to escape from the forest. However, when you did turned around, your eyes widened when you spotted Ubbe eyeing you with two men standing next him. Both of them were his brothers – Bjorn and Hvitserk. You couldn't read his face, but you knew by heart that he was angry and tried to hide it under this mixed expression.

Before you even thought about anything to say, Ubbe had already started walking in your direction. You couldn't really anything – you didn't need to. Both of you knew that this was the only right thing to do for the sake of your dignity, but Ubbe would never let you slip away in the middle of the night with his son on hands. Once Lagertha had managed to leave his father and Bjorn had gone her. Ubbe couldn't let you take his eldest away. He couldn't bear the thought of his boy growing away from him.

"I told you not to do anything impulsive, but per usual you didn't listen to me." Ubbe whispered to you when he was just a breath away from you. His hands wrapped around your son's little body and pulled away from your hands violently, waking him up by the way he pulled him.

The boy started crying and you yelling.

"Don't touch him! Give him to me! Ubbe!" You were yelling at him as he was walking at the other way around towards his brothers. You tried to reach him and take your son back, but the two men you saw earlier grabbed you by force by both of your arm and didn't let you approach. You were hitting them and were trying to break free but they were far more stronger than you. "No! No! No! You can't do that to me, Ubbe! NO!" You were yelling crying. Your son was crying as well on Hvitserk's lap. You sank on your knees, still trying to break free and reach your son. "You are a monster! I fucking hate you!"

Hvitserk was trying to calm down your son, but he couldn't unsee your state.

"Ubbe, maybe you should—" Hvitserk tried to reason with him, but Ubbe stopped him using both words and movements of his hands.

"Don't get involved in that, Hvitserk. This is between me and my wife." Ubbe's voice was stern as his steps were bringing him closer to your wrecked form.

"Your former wife. Former." You spitted as he was kneeling in front of you. He clicked his tongue inside his mouth when he heard you.

Swiftly his hand pulled your face by your chin and your eyes met – yours were burning full in tears and his had gone darker, they had the darkest shade of blue you had ever seen. Shortly after your eyes met, his hand moved from your chin to your throat. It wrapped around your neck so firmly that you almost couldn't breathe, but you didn't care at this point. The worst part of this situation you were into was your son's crying – it broke your heart. You wanted to reach him and caress him, sing to him and calm him down.

"You are my wife. Mine. Like it or not this is the way." Ubbe was speaking in hoarse and stern tone all the time. He was imposing and serious. "Now you have two options here and that's because I am a generous person. If it was for another man, you wouldn't have the option to see your son again, because you would be dead or worse." He left your throat and ordered his men to help you stand. At first you resisted, but eventually you did as he said. Ubbe stood up as well and for once more you were facing each other.

"Your first option is to leave. You are free to go where ever you like away from Kattegat – away from me." He started say and motioned to his men to set you free – something they did instantly.

You frowned you couldn't believe your ears. There has to be something there he wasn't going to let you leave just like that – not after all this chaos.

"But my son stays here. You will leave and never lay a foot on Kattegat. You will never see him again."

At the sound of this, you felt your heart clenching. It was like he had stabbed you with his knife directly in your heart and then ripped it out of your body. You couldn't leave your son behind and never see him again.

"No, I can't do that! You can't do that!" You cried and gazed only at your son, but Ubbe's hand wrapped around your jaw tightly and forced you to look at him, when you tried to look back at your son he didn't let you. He kept your face stable at your former position.

After your words, Ubbe smirked.

"So this leaves us with the second option. You will stay here, be my wife – my loyal wife – and you will move in the Great Hall with me. You will accept my marriage with Margrethe and give us your blessing. Also, you will never try to harm her or my child or else you will never see Ragnar the Younger again. That's a promise." He continued and left your face. After that, he moved back to his brothers who were watching the whole scene without talking after Hvitserk's attempt to reason with him. "I'll give you a second to think about your options. Think about it well."

Ubbe took Ragnar on his hands trying to calm him down himself, but he couldn't – Ragnar was still crying.

You approached them – tears were falling like waterfalls from your eyes – and opened your hands for Ragnar. Ubbe didn't give him to you even after he saw the boy's hands lifting towards you – he wanted you.

"You won't get to touch my son unless you choose correctly."

Before you mumble your answer, you wiped your tears from your soaking cheeks.

"Everything will happen as you wish. We will go to the Great Hall and I'll give you my blessing for your marriage. I'll take care of your wife and your child. Just give me my son. Please Ubbe." You hadn't felt more humiliated than this moment ever again. Even when you learned about the slave girl and her child, you didn't feel like this.

He let you have your son. When he brought him on your hands, you let your tears fall freely. You closed your eyes and smelled his scent. After that, you placed a long kiss on his forehead.

"He is my son and don't you dare think of doing something like this again, because next time I won't be this generous to you." Ubbe whispered to you and you didn't answer.

As long as you had Ragnar on your hands, you didn't care about anything else. Neither your dignity nor who Ubbe slept with. You were defeated for good. You had lost the war of your life. Your life had no meaning apart from your son. You were nothing more than a mother. Ragnar was all that had left in your life and you would give it to protect him – or end with the worst way possible whoever dared to harm him.

The following day you moved in the Great Hall, earning scoffing and mocking looks from the people in it – even the queen had a weird look on her face like she was questioning the choices you had made and your approval for Ubbe's second marriage with a thrall. The people who knew were the only ones who showed quite the sympathy, but still they were on Ubbe's side. You had no allies in this place. You were on your own as you had always been.

"Welcome in the Great Hall." The queen was the one to welcome you first. You didn't even pretend that you were glad about it, didn't even bother to force a fake smile on your face.

"It's good to have you here. Maybe you could help us with the preparations of the wedding." Margrethe was the one to speak next. She approached you smiling. Your gaze met the one of Ubbe's who was already on you, expecting your answer to his bride. You knew better than to cause a scene.

"Sure. It would be nice." You spoke, earning the laughter and mockery of Ivar. You couldn't blame him though. If it wasn't for Ragnar, you would scoff at yourself for your foolishness.

The day of the wedding was even worse than anything you had to endure so far. Maybe that was the worst day of your life and not the day of your own wedding to him. This day and the day you tried to escape with your son had been marked on your memory as the worst day of your life – you couldn't really choose which one had been worse than the one. You only knew that on those days you had been humiliated and violated in the worst ways possible.

You used to be a proud woman – now you were the exact opposite of that. You were dishonoured. You felt small and vulnerable in public, but kept trying to not break in front of the prying eyes. They had disgrace your honor, but you would never let them see how much it affected you.

You wore one of your finest dresses and put on your best of efforts to keep forcing fake smiles on your face. Your hair was braided on a tight bun. The dress you wore was black unlike the bride's white.

You were the first one to walk down the aisle and notice everyone. It was an open wedding – all Kattegat participated to confess your public humiliation, but you kept your forced smile there and waited for them. Ubbe and Margrethe followed shortly after you.

Everything was blurry for you until the Gothi asked who would give the bride to her husband. You forced a smile and without a lot words you gave her the ring made of gold Ubbe had picked for her. Then, the priestess blessed the three of you with the blessed blood of the sacrifice and it was you who had to give your bless about their union next, before the Gothi would bless the ring and Ubbe would put it on her finger.

That was the most difficult part of it. You weren't hurt about the fact they were getting married – you couldn't be. Ubbe had treated you the way your father did and that was enough to had the same feelings for him as you had for your father – to despise him. They treated you like one of their possessions, like an object. You wantes to believe that even the person he were towards you – Ubbe was different from him. But eventually they were all the same.

Margrethe lifted her hands which were inside a wreath and you touched it. You wanted to destroyed the moment your hands touched it, but you didn't do that. Instead, you freed her hands from and let it slip on the floor.

"You are free." You looked at her with your fake smile and tears threatening your eyes. Tears that you would never let them fall. You were stronger than that. Apart from relying on your own strength, you had asked Frigg herself to help you endure this. "Go, marry my husband... with my blessing." You paused for the shortest of breaths and touched your hands with Ubbe's and Margrethe's. After that you were enough not to remember the rest of the ceremony.

A feast came after this parody of a wedding. You were seated on the right side of Ubbe and Margrethe on the left. You didn't really payed attention to the conversations in the Hall, neither tried to start one. You were seated on your chair drinking ale from a curved horn.

You were quiet until Lagertha – or Earl Ingstad – approached and sat down in the empty chair next to yours. You smiled politely at her and fake. By the look on her face you were sure that she could say whether or not that smile was sincere. She knows more than people would like to.

"I have a question for you, though I know the answer myself." She started and got all of your attention on her.

"What would that question be?"

"Why did you blessed this union? Why did you stay?" Her voice was soft along, but her gaze sharp. She was studying you – reading your mind. "You and I have more in common that we would like. Once I was in your place as well. I know the feeling."

You took a long sip from your drink and worked on your answer for some seconds. You weren't going to say the truth – you weren't going to mention anything about that night. You wouldn't like to be called a coward, but better a coward than a childless mother. After all, you were there because of Ragnar the Younger, not because of Ubbe.

"Not all of us are as strong as you."

Lagertha seemed pleased by the way you chose to answer. Her hand reached for yours and she leaned closer to you. Her voice was softer than a whisper – you barely heard her – and when her words made it in your ears you were surprised.

"Yes, because you are stronger. No woman would let herself be disgraced in such way because of the love for her child. I – I didn't. When I left Ragnar, Bjorn didn't choose to come along, but eventually changed his mind. A son should be close to his father – yes – but no mother must be away from her child." Her words made your heart clench. As one mother to another she could understand your agony and pain for your only child.

A true smile formed on your face and you gave it to her, before she retreat to her original seat.

The rest of your night went by the same way it did before Lagertha showed up. Ivar would leave his offensive remarks which didn't really bother you anymore. Hvitserk wouldn't be in his usual mood due to this marriage – something like yourself. Sigurd didn't really seem offended or affected by Ubbe's choice to marry the girl. Bjorn was Bjorn – he was his usual self. After all he was the only one who never had or seeked any kind of relationship with her.

When you retreated to your chamber, you found Ubbe having Ragnar on his lap, talking to him about one more story of his family's saga. When he spotted you, he left the chair he was sitting and came closer to you, giving you the child.

"You were unexpected today." Ubbe noted and you almost let a bitter chuckle leave your mouth.

"I didn't have a choice." You spoke, looking only at your son. The only time you decided to look at him was to ask him about something. "And why are you here, anyway? Isn't your wedding night? Shouldn't you be with your new wife?" There were more than a question – more than you intended to ask – but it came out naturally.

Ubbe decided to avoid the answer you gave him after his remark and focused on your questions.

"I wanted to see my son." He said casually tickling with one of his hands your boy, making him jiggling and laughing. You smiled at the sound of his angelic laughter. "And you." This time his voice was much softer than any other time. Your eyes met and you tried to focus back on your son and not on the fast rate of your heartbeat.

"Ragnar is fine, I am fine. Go to your wife." You said quickly turning your back.

You were walking through the room, caressing your son's back. That was one of your desperate attempts to put him to sleep. He was upset the nights away from home – your former home. He wasn't used here and he would refuse to go to sleep.

"You are also my wife."

You sighed harshly when he reminded you – like you could forget when he was around all the time. Or you could forget when you were giving your blessing to wed another. Or when he forced you to stay. Or—

A soft knock on your door was enough to stop all your thoughts and prevent you from giving him any answer. Ubbe opened the door himself and revealed Hvitserk.

"Sorry to interrupt you." He spoke looking at you and you smiled at him.

"You don't. Ubbe was just leaving."

"Yeah, that was exactly the reason I came. We are expecting you. Don't be late." He whispered to his brother, but not low enough for you not to hear them. You didn't even want to think about the topic of their conversation, but you could imagine – much to your displeasure. Your mind was getting there not following your attempts not to. After these words from brother to brother, Hvitserk turned to apologetically. "Sorry again."

"Goodnight." You muttered and he winked at you. Ubbe closed the door, but not before he overheard your whisper to yourself. "I suppose that it will indeed be a good night." You laughed to yourself and he did the same as he closed the door behind his brother.

"We—" Ubbe started saying awkwardly. A hand was at the back of his head, scratching him skin. You stopped him, before he could even form a second word.

"No need to tell me anything. It's your personal life." You told him quickly, raising one of your hands – the one which wasn't holding the child – to stop him.

"You are part of my personal life." His voice was hoarse and calm for once more. As he was speaking, he was moving towards you for once more.

"I am part of your chores. I suppose." You smiled. One more real smile that evening. He smiled as well.

"No. Do you want one truth?" Ubbe was whispering now. He had stopped right in front of you. Your son was the only thing who kept you apart.

"Only one?" You kept whispering as he did.

Both of you were smiling.

"Just one."

"Go ahead, say it. I promise I won't tell a soul."

"Good. Coming back to you had always been my top priority since we met."

Your whole conversation was made of whispers and smiles – like a sacred prayer. One that was so sacred and holy that shouldn't be heard from the other. Your first and only silent one without yelling or anything loud.

You hadn't noticed how close to each you were standing until you stopped talking. All this closeness felt uncomfortable.

You took your eyes off of him and looked at your son – he was asleep. You smiled at the sight.

"He is asleep." You told Ubbe softly enough not to wake the boy.

"Yeah – um – I should probably get going." He was saying awkwardly as you were placing your son inside his crib.

"Yes, I think you should. Goodnight." You muttered and smiled uncomfortably at him.

Ubbe took a few steps back and mouthed a rushed "goodnight" before he was out of your door.

You felt yourself smiling at the memory of your previous conversation, the most real in all this time you knew each other. The only one which didn't end up in a fight or happened within one. The most calm and yet the most intensive you had.

If only this was the beginning and nothing had happened before that.

You moved you head in an attempt to remove these thoughts. Ubbe was in Margrethe's chamber with Hvitserk celebrating their first night as a wed couple and before he had forced to stay in Kattegat and suffer under the roof of the Great Hall.

Things wouldn't change with a couple of romantic thoughts. After all, any time you had one of those things had the tendency to become even more wild between Ubbe and yourself. As far as you stayed in the comfort of your chamber – away from everyone and their drama – you were safe.

Your child was the only person you needed around and Ubbe was the opposite – the person you definitely hated to have around. He and his new wife were the people you wanted to avoid and you were going to try.

Tag list: @bruher, @utterlyhopeful-fics, @hypocritic-trash-baby, @fofisstilinski, @brianochka, @thelirofnorthlands, @malamistka

[franzkafkagf]

that are your conquerors headcanons? pretty please? 🥺

omg this has been in my askbox for soooo long im sorry. I have soooo many thought let me split it up

aegon i 🐲

he is nawwwt beating the intertility allegations im afraid

he was the quietest of the siblings

he had a bad relationship with his father, they never got along. i mean the first thing he did after becoming the lord of dragonstone was to burn down volantis for being foolish; i think their father was too cautious/inactive and he resented him for that

when the maester told him there was a possibility that he is unable to sire heirs he had a tauntrum and had to be soothed by his sisters 😭

he fell into a depression after rhaenys died, visenya had to drag him to balerion so they could go burn down some castles again

dorne's letter was a plea for peace; prince nymor told him that rhaenys didn't die with her fall; she died after the dragons' wrath over dorne. she was burned with the dornishmen by her own siblings

he went to dragonstone to burn her remains

he felt even more guilty after that revelation, him doting on aenys so much and being blind to his weaknesses was "atonement". he genuinely thought he killed rhaenys and had to do this to make it right. he knew aenys could never become the king he needed to be

visenya 🗡️

she is nawwwt beating the intertility and boy mom allegations im afraid

she is extremely loyal to the people she loves (namely rhaenys, aegon and maegor)

she actually did help aenys at the end of his life; she loved him, i'm sure of it. she tried to save him but he couldn't be saved anymore

she loves him because he is rhaenys' son. that loyality didn't extend to rhaenys' grandchildren, though.

she and aegon were VERY alike. so alike that it was kind of scary tbh

that's also why they couldn't stand each other most of the time (the love was there, though)

visenya was LIVID about his reaction to the letter, that was the final straw for their relationship

not only because he showed "weakness" by making peace, but also because he didn't tell her about rhaenys' funeral. she wanted to be there.

she and aegon created maegor together via ancient valyrian blood magic

visenya saw this as a last restort; aenys seemed like he was going to die

rhaenys 🎀

she was a bit of a hoe but we love that for her

aerion said sterile daughter, sterile son and thot daughter

she is the only one of the three siblings actually able to have a cordial conversation with someone

she's the optimist while aegon is the pessimist and visenya is the realist

she and meraxes had a super deep bond

the conversation between the siblings on how to get a heir was very awkward

visenya and aegon insisted on also choosing who aenys' father was going to be

she was the one who came up with the house sigil of the three-headed-dragon

she was never really that passionate about the conquest; she only went along with it because her siblings did

she was the best mom to aenys <3

[quitealotofsodapop]

The conflict between Wukong and Macaque during the journey to me feels like a very complicated one simply because, at its core, Wukong feels abandoned by Macaque... but with 500+ years of self esteem issues brought about by his time under the mountain, being conditioned into a martyr by Azure, and just everyone and everything they come across treating him like a monster, he doesn't feel he has a right to be upset with Macaque when he was the one to lash out to begin with. So he tries to mask his pain by finding other, also extremely valid, reasons to be upset. Why did Macaque leave FFM without a protector? Why did he attack them? Why did it take someone physically jumping between the two to stop Macaque from accidentally hurting Wukong's unborn child?

It's a highly complicated situation, especially since Macaque is not entirely in the wrong either. He had the right to be upset with Wukong. He had needed the space and time away to heal himself just as Wukong is doing now by being forced upon this journey of redemption and healing. His mistake was that he got so caught up in his travels that he forgot or ignored his duties, thinking someone else would handle it. Because in the past it was always slemone else who did, it was Wukong. Except this time, Wukong wasn't around to protect the island. He was trapped. Leaving Macaque as the sole protector who could do anything.

The Pilgrims are outsiders looking in. They can see the situation for what it is, even without the full context. They see Wukong is hurt by Macaque and feels abandoned. They see Macaque is regretful and perhaps still a bit scared of the prrson Wukogn had turned into when he was at his worst. They're both deeply hurt, and they're both trying to figure out who they are and where they stand in their relationship with all the pain that now separates them. The fact that Stone Monkeys mate for life and Wukong is pregnant does little to help, Macaque feels the need to be there for Wukong while Wukong is left wondering why is he only now coming back after everything that happened. They need an intervention.

Prev.

YEEESSSS

its a multi-layered conflict!

Wukong's anger is born of worry and of confusion - but especially the actions (or rather inaction) that Macaque did that harmed others. While Macaque was put into the same position as his mate, suddenly thrust into power as FFM's ruler. Mac did what Wukong had done when he left to train under Subodhi. He left when he realised it was just too much for him in that moment.

The only difference being that Macaque wasn't sure if he'd ever come back - he wasn't born on FFM after all, and he had yet to find his own answers on what/who he was. It's only after so many years that Macaque sort of realises that he really should have stayed, but at the same time feels that he's "in too deep" to ever come back. Same with his relationship with Wukong - would it be easier/less painful to call the whole thing off or for them to repair what they once had? He's still a little scared of whoever Wukong became when he burst forth from the Furnace, but now theres this... future baby to consider - a little person who has no idea of the wrongs the either of them have done to eachother. Macaque wants to protect them.

Wukong on the flip side wants Macaque to talk to him about why he felt that he needed to leave. He wants confirmation and closure and honesty - Macaque often forgets that not everyone can tell lie from truth with just their ears.

And ofc the other Pilgrims are on the outside looking in - seconds away from locking these two in a room to force them to talk things out.

Sorry I just love when people send me introspectives of these goobers' relationship. Never be scared to send more <3

[lostinforestbound]

Hello everyone! My apologies for being inactive, I wanted to get my head on straight and be in the right headspace to talk about this.

As you may or may not know, there's a situation that has unfolded with Dammon's Voice Actor, Frazer Blaxland, about harmful content he has been following and liking. I will not go into details here as it can be very upsetting, but you can find the information and proof on Twitter right here.

As someone who is under the Non-Binary umbrella, this is both disheartening and extremely disappointing. I loved Dammon, and while I have always separated actors from their characters, it definitely has left a very sour taste in my mouth. He has issued an apology on this matter, but it feels weak, insincere, and more of a "I'm sorry I got caught" than him being genuinely sorry for hurting so many people.

My page is a safe space for trans people and anyone who's part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I also stand with the people of Palestine.

I still love Dammon as a character, but this does not mean I endorse his actor's beliefs. I enjoy Dammon's writing and love the content this community has created for him. I love the art, the fanfiction, the headcannons, and the lore in-game I have found about him. I will continue to enjoy his character, but also be aware the hurt Frazer Blaxland has caused and how that will impact us.

I do plan on writing things for Dammon in the future, but for now, I'm going to take a step back from it temporarily until this sour taste in my mouth goes away.

As always, be kind to everyone around you! I know we can get through this as a community. Emotions are running high, so please take care of yourselves!