#also shows that hook ups might be an opportunity to dip into sex work which I’m also interested in

[m4sc4r4]

Also thinking about this one

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Closing Time (Johnny Utah x fem!reader)

Summary: You work at a clothing store, you get a last minute customer at closing time and sexy tims happen.

Pairing: Johnny Utah x fem!reader

Author’s Notes: So I’m slowly getting back to writing. I’m not gonna say I’m fully back just yet, but for this week at least, there will be content! Huge thanks to @toomanystoriessolittletime and @meetmeinthematinee​ for being cheerleaders and giving me early feedback on this! 

Wordcount: 3125

Warnings: smut. oral sex (F! receiving); dirty talk; unprotected sex with strangers (don’t do this kids!); sex in inappropriate places.

Most days you quite enjoyed it when there was barely any movement at the store. It gave you the opportunity of just being by yourself, reading a book, or enjoying some music or studying for college, things that you didn’t always have the privacy of doing at your dorm because your roommate seemed to always be around. Even during the summer and what was up with that? Didn’t she have better things to do?

She wasn’t like you, who actually had to work to put yourself through college and took some extra jobs during the summer so you could have some savings for the following term when all you managed to get were part-time jobs that you had fit in between classes and paid shit.

Fortunately, at the shop, you had some peace and time for yourself. It was a tiny, hole-in-the-wall sort of place around Venice Beach where tourists could get some shirts and other knickknacks to take back home and locals surfers could find cheap clothing and supplies for a day out on the beach. Most days, you worked from 9-5 and after your shift, you could head to the beach, spread your towel on the sand and enjoy the gorgeous Californian sunset. However, as the summer winded out and the fall winds blew the scalding hot weather into simmering heat, your boss let you close a little early, especially on Tuesdays, when most tourists had already headed home and the new arrivals hadn’t landed yet so there were barely any customers around.

Your plan today had been to finish your reading for class and start the new crime thriller you picked up at the used books store on your way to work. Except, today you were just too restless to focus. You must have reread the same paragraph of your textbook twenty times before you gave up and set it aside, giving the other book a go, but it was just as unsuccessful at holding your attention.

So instead, you moved around the cramped space, adjusting the decoration items, dusting off shelves, and refolding every single shirt in the display until it was perfectly symmetrical while you willed time to move faster so you could end this day. Maybe it was the heatwave that had made an appearance turning the air in the shop stifling and all you had to help you was an old and slow fan that made more noise than blow air. The A/C was busted and your boss still hadn’t called someone to fix it.

Another possibility was the fact that you had to keep the glass doors opened to help circulate a little air and every time any kind of wind blew or someone walked in, it brought with them the crisp smell of salt and sand that always made you ache for the ocean and fight against the temptation of just abandoning everything and heading for the beach so you could cool off taking a dip in the deliciously cold water. Either way, you kept checking the slow ticking of the clock hands, counting the seconds before you could turn the closed sign.

When the minute hand finally hit twelve, you let out a cheer, jumping off your stool and taking a step towards the door. You always locked the doors first to discourage most last-minute walk-ins while you closed the register, put away the money in the back office safe, and slipped out of the store through the back door, taking any garbage with you to throw in the dumpster outside.

Before you could move from behind the counter, a man stepped into the store and you groaned low in your throat. Of-fucking-course! It was like they stood in wait to come in at the precise moment you were about to head out.

“Hey, you’re still open, right?” He asked, pushing the overgrown dark hair back from his forehead and offering you an unsure smile. You felt the urge to lie and say that no, you were closed and he should come back tomorrow.

“Yeah, sure.” You said instead placing your best and most fake seller’s smile. “Feel free to look around and let me know if you need help.”

“Thanks!” He replied, flashing a wider smile that showed a small dimple, before moving towards the shirts in the display while you made your way to the main entrance, flipped the sign, and locked the door to bar any other walk-ins.

You hung back while the guy browsed the options, taking a moment to assess him. He didn’t look like a tourist, but also not fully like a local. Most Californian guys that you knew had the most horrifying hair cuts or bleach jobs you had ever seen and that was not the case for the man in front of you.

His hair was dark brown, a little shaggy from too much exposure to sun and salt and it flopped a little over his forehead, just above his eyes. He wore a grey cropped t-shirt that had definitely seen better days and struggled to contain his broad shoulders, showing a peek of toned abs. His jeans were ridiculously tight and hung low on his slender hips, the light-wash of the denim accentuating the perfect bubble butt and for the love of God, you needed to get laid. Badly.

“Excuse me,” he called, startling you and you prayed he hadn’t noticed the way you were checking his ass just now. “Do you have this one in black?”

“Yeah, sure.” You moved towards the drawers. ���What’s your usual size? Medium or large?”

“I think large should be good,” he replied and when you turned around with the requested shirt, he was just standing there, barechested, his top hanging from his shoulder and you hoped your gasp wasn’t as loud as it sounded in your head.

“Here you go,” you croaked, offering him the shirt. “We do have a fitting room…” you gestured towards the small cubicle to the rear of the store.

“Oh right!” He glanced over as he pulled the shirt on. “Do you mind if I try them out here, though?”

“Not at all,” you forced your voice to sound somewhat normal.

“Awesome!”

Damn! He wasn’t just fucking hot. He was also cute, the wide grin he just flashed giving him a boyish look that was only enhanced by the almond-shaped chocolate-colored eyes. Biting your lip, you watched as he turned side to side in front of the mirror, checking himself out.

“It think is a little too big,” he said, meeting your gaze. “What do you think?”

“Well…” you cleared your throat and moved closer so you could look at him through the mirror. “If you want it more fitted, then yeah, probably a smaller size would be best. Want me to get it?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Once again, by the time you turned back to him, he was shirtless, the garment he had just tried neatly folded and resting on the shelf as he took a look at some other shirts, his attention snapping at you when he noticed you coming closer to hand him the new shirt, giving you a glimpse of a pale, sunken scar running down his abs that stopped just above his belly button and that drew attention to the small trail of fine dark hairs that disappeared under the waist of his jeans and holy shit! He was bare beneath those jeans.

“Bike accident,” he commented as he took the shirt that you offered and you met his eyes in confusion.

“What?” You asked, mouth suddenly dry.

“The scar,” he clarified, putting on the shirt and his lips were tilted into a slight smirk. “That was what you were staring at, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, feeling your face burning. “I’ll just head to the register and give you some privacy.”

I don’t mind,” he shrugged, turning to the mirror. “This is better. What do you think?” He turned towards you, giving you a full view of the cotton fabric covering his muscles, looking almost as if painted on him.

“Sure...” you swallowed hard, trying not to stare. “If you prefer it more fitted...”

“I do,” pulling the shirt off and once again giving you the glorious view of his torso. “I’ll take it.”

You took the shirt to the register and he followed, pausing only to pick up his own, which he had discarded on a nearby hanger. You were expecting him to put it back on, but he just threw it over his shoulder, reaching for his wallet as you registered the sale and tried not to stare.

“Is that the only camera you have around here?” He asked, gesturing to a point above your left and you glanced at the object before nodding, exchanging the money he gave you for the paper bag with his purchase.

“Yeah, why?”

“So basically...” he started, taking a step to the side, closer to the fitting room. “I’m completely out of sight over here?”

“Basically, yeah,” you frowned a little, stepping away from the counter. “Why? Are you planning to rob the place? Because let me tell you, there’s not much worth...” You trailed off with a surprised squeak as he tugged on your hand, pulling you over to the blindspot and nearly pressed against his strong chest.

“Because honestly, I never really gave a fuck about the shirt. I just thought you were beautiful and wanted to ask your number when I walked in, but you looked kind pissed so I got cold feet,” he confessed with a rueful smile.

“So you decided to just get mostly naked in front of me?” You snorted, shaking your head and he shrugged.

“Needed to make sure you might be interested and considering the way you were eyeing me earlier, it looked like you saw something you liked.”

“You’re really sure of yourself, aren’t you?” You arched an eyebrow at him, not ready to concede just yet. Even if the heat of his body and the smell of sea breeze whiffing off his skin were driving you crazy.

“Only when I’m right,” he flashed you a lopsided smirk and just waited, gazing into your eyes, making it clear that the next step was yours.

Part of you screamed that it was crazy to even consider hooking up with a guy that just walked into your store, no matter how hot he was, but it had been a ridiculously long time since you last had sex and he was so fucking hot, the scent of his golden skin intoxicating and his heat was making you dizzy with want as you looked him up and down, noticing the volume pressing against the denim of his pants.

“We might not have cameras, but the windows are see-through, so get your ass to the fitting room while I finish closing up.”

He flashed a victorious smirk and nodded, heading towards the back while you rushed through the steps of securing the store before joining him.

Your heart was pounding with anticipation as you made your way towards the back, pushing away the curtain that blocked the small space of the fitting room and finding him perched on the low stool that you kept there so customers could put down their things, facing the full-length mirror, legs spread, jeans undone, revealing the bush of dark hairs surrounding his long and thick cock.

You nearly whimpered at the sight, your center pulsing in want as you leaned against the doorframe, watching him as he run his left hand up and down his shaft, head tilted back, breathing hard, eyes hooded. He was such a beautiful and debauched sight that you felt the urge to photograph him, capture that sensuality.

“Are you just gonna stand there and watch?” He asked, eyes meeting yours through the reflective surface.

“You seemed to be doing fine on your own,” you teased stepping into the tight space, fingers itching to touch all that glorious skin.

“I did not just spend most of my afternoon at the corner diner, drinking burned coffee just to jerk off in front of you,” he declared, standing up and turning your way.

“Ohhh, so this was premeditated?” You asked, kicking off your sneakers as he reached for you and you stumbled against his chest.

“A little bit, yeah,” he admitted, large hand hot against your hips and you wanted to feel it against your flesh. “You probably don’t remember, but I was here last week and you had to bend over to get something from one of the lower drawers...” he let out a soft groan, hands moving to your ass and squeezing lightly. “Fuck! I don’t think I ever popped a boner so fast in my life. I had to get out.”

You vaguely remembered that. There was so much coming and going in this place, it was hard to keep track of faces, but customers just taking off after asking to see something usually caused an impression. If you weren’t about to get fucked after six months, you would be more pissed.

“So you decided to come back when I was alone and seduce me?” you asked, running your hands over his chest and abs, scratching it slightly and goosebumps rose in his skin as he hissed.

“Yeah,” he spoke in a low voice as his hands move to the button of your jeans. “I’ve been thinking about you all week,” he slid your fly down and your breath caught in your throat. “I thought about bending you over that counter and fucking you until you’re screaming.” His fingers skimmed over your cunt, just a soft touch, but you gasped and arched your hips forward, holding onto his arms to steady yourself. “I thought about it eating your pussy and your ass until you’re begging me to fuck you.”

Those words were whispered right against your ear, before he changed your positions, crowding you against the mirror and pushing your jeans down to your thighs before he once against skimmed his fingers over covered sex, making you ache for him.

“What do you think about that?” He asked, lips brushing your cheek in an almost chaste kiss, completely opposed to the lewdness of his hand exploring your cunt. “Do you want it?”

“If you’re as good with your tongue at eating pussy like you are at talking dirty, then I maybe I do,” you declared, tired of his teasing and you felt his smirk as he gracefully slid to his knees in front of you.

You didn’t manage to get another word out before he shoved your panties down to join your jeans and his lips firmly connected to your clit. He gave it a sharp suck and you groaned, burying your fingers into his hair to keep yourself on your feet as your brain short-circuited and your knees turned to jelly.

He was very good at eating you out, especially because he was very attentive to every sound you made, every tightening of your grip on his hair, and roll of your hips to nudge him into going faster or slower, harder or softer... It wasn’t long before he reached that perfect alternation of fast flickering against your clit and slower and broad strokes of his tongue over your entrance and lips, a combination that drove you crazy.

You were whimpering and moaning, legs quaking with the alternating urge to close them around his face to keep him trapped there pleasuring you forever or spreading them wider so he could have more space to work, but the edges of your jeans were digging into the lower part of your knees, signaling you that that was as far as they could go.

As if reading your thoughts or maybe he just realized he would need more room, he shoved your pants down and helped you to kick them off so you could be completely free of the garment. And didn’t you two looked like a mismatched pair, with you standing there wearing only your top while he knelt in front of you, his jeans still on.

Once your pants were off, he hooked your right thigh over his shoulder, pressing his mouth even harder against your cunt, flickering his tongue over your clit before dipping it in between your lips, gathering the juices soaking your sex like a starved man.

“Fuck! I’m so close...” you hissed, rolling your hips, seeking more because that tight knot deep inside you was about to snap and from the way you ached and shuddered, your muscles tensing, you knew it would be a hard one.

“Yeah?” He mumbled against your core, his breath against your overheated skin making you shiver as he pushed two fingers inside you. “Gonna cum all over my mouth?”

He pistoled his fingers in and out at a fast pace, crooking inwards with every down motion, his tongue matching his rhythm against your clit and it was that made you snap as you bit down on your fist to stop yourself from shouting as your body was flooded with pleasure and all you knew was the unbelievable bliss that surrounded you. Stars bust behind your closed lids, the air came out of your lungs in short gushes as you fought hard not to slide down to the ground because your legs felt like jelly.

“Ok?” he asked, making you finally snap your eyes open to look at him.

He was sitting on his heels, face still glistening with your orgasm, his lips swollen and red from the abuse. His cock was rock hard, red, and leaking and you really wanted to return the favor.

“Way better than ok,” you replied with a gasp. “My turn?” To your surprise, he shook his head and got to his feet.

“Tonight, the only place I’m cumming is in that pussy,” he announced against your ear and shivered with anticipation. “So let’s get out of this fucking store and go to my place?”

“Fuck yes!” you grinned breathlessly at him as you reached for your jeans and he buttoned his over his hard cock and that couldn’t be comfortable.

“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he said. “Johnny Utah. Just in case you want to know what to shout when I fuck your brains out later.”

You rolled your eyes at his cheeky smirk and moved closer to him, once fully clothed, the only evidence of your recent climax was the sweat cooling on your skin and the stupid grin that refused to leave your face.

“I think I like you more when your mouth is busy with something other than talking,” you declared and before Johnny could manage a reply, you silenced him with a kiss, tasting yourself in his tongue.

xxx

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[buckyownsmylife]

Somewhere only we know - Steve Rogers/Reader/Bucky Barnes smut

The one where your married best friends ask you for an anniversary gift: for you to sleep with them.

Warnings: poliamory, squirting, p in v, p in a, threesome, anal fingering, oral (f, m, performed by m and f), dirty talk, curse words.

A/N: Prompts for today were Double penetration + squirting. I really, really loved creating this universe where Bucky and Steve were married and I loved this reader, so I think I might be adding more fics about their relationship in the future.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I could see that she was nervous. Even if I wasn’t one of her bestfriends (or a trained killing machine), it was pretty obvious by the way she was biting on her lower lip and avoiding both mine and Steve’s eyes.

She’d never been timid around us before. In fact, I couldn’t even remember a single time I’d seen this spitfire of a woman silent, much less uncomfortable. She just had this way about her, this confidence about who she was and of her own worth that stopped anyone who might try to treat her like something simple. She really was anything but.

Which is why the way she was behaving, so out of character for both herself and our relationship, brought a heavy weight to my heart.

“Sweetheart,” I called out, approaching where she was sitting on mine and Steve’s bed before stroking her cheek softly, silently asking her to look me in the eyes again. “You know you can say no, right? We don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. You’re way more important to us than our attraction to you and this silly fantasy that we created.”

I watched as she blinked twice, and from the corner of my eye, I can see Steve approaching, suddenly catching onto the change of circumstances. Bless his heart, as much as he truly loved this girl, he really was an airhead when it came to women and their feelings, always needing Y/N to spell out what was going on in her life for him to understand that something was wrong. But what he suffered in distraction, he certainly compensated in his caring heart.

I knew better than anyone how my husband could be when he deeply loved someone, and I also knew just how deep both of our feelings ran for her.

“He’s right, Y/N.” The bed dipped as he sat on her other side, reaching for one of the hands on her lap to run his thumb over the back of it. “If you’re worried about finding us another anniversary gift, you can always relent and give me your brownie recipe.”

She snorted, and just that silly sound had the tension on my shoulders suddenly disappearing, a silly smile opening up as I realized that I just might have read her wrong in the midst of my own nervousness over what we were about to do.

“I don’t know what’s more stupid, the fact that you both think I don’t want this or that you actually believe I’d ever give you my family recipe, Stevie.” The words were said in her usual non-bullshit tone and just like that, we were all back to being bestfriends and not a couple about to fuck their closest friend. We laughed, and Steve and I took the opportunity to graze our eyes over her body, tonight clad in a little summer dress that really had no reason to be as tempting as it looked, but the truth was that anything she wore enticed me. 

God, how I wanted her.

She drew in a sharp breath before finally spilling out, “I'm just nervous, that’s all. And maybe a little bit confused. Like, what is this? Something to spice up your decades old relationship? How did you even come to decide on doing this with me? Don’t you think it’s going to ruin our friendship? What about…?”

Steve and I exchanged one of our significant looks before he swiftly covered her mouth with his palm, effectively silencing her. “Calm down, doll. Deep breaths. Of course it won’t ruin our friendship.”

I stopped then, opting to let my husband take the lead of the conversation. Y/N’s eyes followed mine, although her head was somewhat restricted by the weight of Steve’s hand, and she raised an eyebrow in curiosity when he opened his mouth only to close it a few times.

“This isn’t just an… exotic experience to us,” he started, and I nodded in agreement. “We’ve actually been thinking about opening our relationship to embrace one other person for sometime now.”

Her eyes grew huge, the weight of our words clearly surprising her. It was silent in the room for a while when she didn’t immediately offer any response, until my stupid boy realized he still had his hand over her lips, obstructing her speech.

“Sorry,” he sheepishly smiled, making her roll her eyes but smile back at him with fondness. God, how I loved them. My heart pounded desperately against my chest, terrified of her reaction, fiercely hopeful to have her as mine too.

“For how long?” Was her question when she finally was free to speak, and I chuckled lowly, my eyes never straying from hers.

“Ever since we met.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My breath hitched as I felt like my heart stopped beating for a few seconds, Bucky’s words barely processing in my swirling brain. I didn’t know what to say, which was never a good thing when it came to me, but how could one so simply deal with the fact that her married best friends who she had secretly longed for had been interested in her all this time? 

So all it came out of my mouth was, “You’re telling me we’ve all been crushing on each other for three fucking years and you only now got the courage to talk to me about it? And using sex as an excuse?” I scoffed, crossing my arms while fake pouting. “I expected more from the both of you, seriously.”

Their roars of laughter were just breathy enough for me to know that they had been nervously anticipating my reaction, which was understandable. For all the hard time I was giving them, I knew how… peculiar this entire situation was, and I couldn’t really say I’d behave any differently if I was in their shoes.

“Well, you know…” One of Steve’s fingers trailed down my jaw before turning my head to face him, and I fucking shivered at how the stupidly simple touch ignited fire in my veins. “It is a decades-long marriage. We couldn’t just very well open it to someone who we didn’t really know and love, just because we were attracted to her.”

“And believe me, sweetheart…” This time, it was Bucky’s voice talking by my ear and Bucky’s fingers tracing over my exposed collarbones, before he leaned down to place a sweet kiss between them. “We’ve been dreaming about fucking you senseless ever since we met.”

A beat as I let their words rush simmer the arousal built inside of me. “Well, don’t you fellas know just how to get a woman going?” Another pair of breathless chuckles, this time for a completely different reason, and I felt Steve squeeze the hand he still held in his.

“Can we kiss you, sweetheart?” He asked, and I found myself swooning - not for the first time - under the blue of his eyes, a soft smile on my lips before I licked them in preparation, quickly nodding.

“Yes,” I breathed out, my gaze falling down to his beautifully pink lips. “Please,” I urged, ignoring the cheshire cat grin that took over his entire face when he realized just how desperate I was for them.

Kissing Steve was everything I thought it would be, except reality felt nicer than even my most realistic dreams. His lips were soft against mine, slowly taking control of our movements before prying them open to accept his tongue.

He tasted like the wine we had shared and I was hooked already. But then a rough beard tickled my neck as Bucky nuzzled his face against it, and I turned around to grant him the same treatment, excited to know how he tasted too.

He was more eager, his hand quickly pulling me by my nape to meet his mouth as mine cradled his face. Instinctively, I knew that despite his rough ways, he liked to be touched softly, and that only became more obvious when I let my own hands fall to the back of his neck, scratching the skin there with care.

Steve’s P.O.V.

I watched with fascination as my husband fell apart in Y/N’s soft hands, my pants growing more uncomfortable each second. A strangled moan escaped Bucky’s lips and I knew he had his tongue inside her mouth now, exploring her sweet taste just like I’d been doing just minutes before.

By the way he easily pulled her to sit on his lap, it was clear that he enjoyed it, just like I did. She was straddling him now, and it didn’t take much longer on their makeout session for her to start unconsciously rubbing herself over his crotch.

My mouth watered at the thought of him being half as hard as I was. Automatically, my hand went over the bulge on my jeans, palming it, feeling it without any urge to take care of myself whatsoever. I knew there was a long night of exploration ahead of us and I wanted it to be the best any of us had ever had.

So I started by massaging Y/N’s scalp, a reminder for her to pull away and breathe, because I was desperate to have a taste of my husband. “Do you mind scooting over, darling? I want to show you something.”

She went without resistance, resuming her previous spot in our bed while I sank down to my knees in front of Bucky, who looked at me with lust-filled eyes and reddened lips that I briefly kissed before my hands made quick work of the fly on his jeans.

“Stand back and watch the show,” I whispered, winking at her when she gasped as Bucky’s cock became visible and I immediately went to work, my lips stretching to accommodate his thickness even after so many years on my knees for him. Even only half-hard, he was still impressive, and it only took a few bobs of my head for him to grow to his complete size.

“Fuck.” I let go of Bucky’s cock with a pop to look at Y/N, who had made herself comfortable by our headboard and now had her fingers under the skirt of her dress, her eyes going from my mouth to the member I still held in my close fist.

“Now, we didn’t say you could touch yourself, did we, pretty girl?” I smacked my lips as I crawled on top of the bed to kiss her before making my way back, Bucky and I exchanging a few loving glances as we undressed in front of her. Then, he beckoned her to the edge of the bed before signaling for her to raise her arms before taking off her dress, leaving her in just her panties.

My eyes were immediately attracted to her breasts, admiring the weight, the aureolas. I itched to suck on one of her nipples, maybe while Bucky did the same on the other, but for now, I knew he had other pressing needs, so I just knelt once more, taking her underwear with me until she was completely bare in front of us.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I saw Bucky exchange another silent conversation with Steve before his husband nodded, climbing on the other side of the bed while the brunette man came to stand by the foot of it. “Lay down,” he ordered, already wrapping a hand around my ankle and tugging, forcing me to do as he said. “Spread those legs.”

Man, I liked this dominant Bucky.

He noticed my staring, suddenly realizing the reason for my fascination, but instead of apologizing, he just smirked. “I’ve been dying to taste that pussy,” was his admission, and suddenly there was no more air in my lungs. Steve’s chuckle right by my ear made me realize that they both could see right through me, and so I surrendered, opening my legs and exposing just how wet this situation had made me. 

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten pussy?” I blurted out, honestly curious and so fucking horny I couldn’t even find it in myself to be embarrassed. I was expecting a few laughs, but to my surprise, the response I got was a very serious, “For how much I enjoyed it, too fucking long. Come here.”

Once again, he didn’t give me a chance to obey him, instead pulling me even further down so his face was just inches away from my glistening cunt, and the feeling of his hot breath over it had me panting in anticipation.

But of course, I should have known that Bucky Barnes would be a fucking tease. 

“You smell so sweet,” he murmured against the soft skin on the inside of my thighs, where he kissed and licked and sucked while Steve deposited sweet, wet kisses over my chest before finally wrapping his beautiful lips on one of my nipples.

“Ste-Steve…” I moaned, buring my fingers on his locks so I could pull them while chasing away his teeth when he released one of my breasts in search of the other. “Fuck, then why are you teasing me so much?” I asked Bucky, trying to get him to come closer to where I was dripping for him, but he only looked up at me with those mischievous fucking eyes.

“It’s called building anticipation, darling.” 

I honestly didn’t care for it.

“If you touch me right fucking now, I’ll let you do anything to me. Both of you.” That caught their attention. I watched Bucky lift his head to meet his husband’s gaze, another silent conversation between them before his eyes returned to me.

“Anything?” he confirmed, and my body shuddered in expectation.

“Anything.” He didn’t hesitate any longer after that, immediately diving in to taste my pussy with a hunger I had never witnessed in any of my past lovers. Or even in porn, actually. He moaned at the first taste of my wetness, and my thighs already trembled from the reverberations of that simple sound.

“So sweet,” he whispered, and then he was lapping me eagerly, and my moans were echoing around their bedroom before Steve pulled me to kiss him again. He liked to make out, I realized, starting to file my little discoveries for future reference.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

Fuck. I’d always liked to eat a girl out, I could remember that, but I swear, no one had ever tasted as good as the beauty I had sprawled out in front of me. Dipping my tongue in her hole one more, I hummed before lifting it to play with her little nub before repeating the process, making sure to nudge her clit with my nose when I was fucking her with my tongue.

A symphony of moans reached my ears, male and female intertwined, prompting me to open my eyes and trail them up Y/N’s body to find her and Steve kissing deeply. The sight made my heart grow twice its size, and I smiled against her cunt as I watched them make out while Steve slowly teased his own cock.

Of course, Y/N wouldn’t have it. Oh, no. The second she realized where his hand was, she wrapped hers over it, assuming the control over his movements until he allowed her to do as she pleased, letting his hand fall back on the bed.

“Actually, you know what?” She suddenly asked, sitting up before waving me off of her. I was about to complain, not ready to separate myself from her taste just yet, but that was until she flipped around and crawled between my husband’s legs, wrapping her hand on his boner before taking it into her mouth.

I was so completely taken away by how hot the whole image was - her on all fours, Steve with his head thrown back as the slurping sounds of her sloppy blowjob surrounded us - that I almost missed the fact that she was shaking her fantastic ass at me, presenting her pussy for me to feast upon again.

Guess I was doing something right, then. I buried my face in her cunt again, licking her from behind and rejoicing in this opportunity that I dreamed about for so long. I couldn’t even remember how many times both Steve and I had made each other cum just talking about what we would do if we ever got the chance to have her in bed with us, and now here we all were. Together.

Trailing my fingers up her thighs, I finally pushed two of them inside, swirling them around in an effort to find her sweet spot. I didn’t manage to locate it that easily, but I figured, we had time. For now, I had other plans in mind.

I collected some of her wetness with two of my fingers before raising them to circle her puckered hole, and she moaned in response to the new touch. Good. I wanted her to desire this as much as we did.

I slowly pushed a single finger in her ass, relishing in the way she thrust back against it, crying out around Steve’s cock. “That’s a good girl, taking my finger so easily inside this pretty little ass.” I had to slap one of her cheeks, I itched to see it bounce. She continued to move against my finger, so I figured it was safe to do the same.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The second I felt Bucky’s finger inside my ass, I knew what the last silent conversation between him and the man whose cock was currently between my lips was about. And I couldn’t wait for it.

“Bucky, please…” I released Steve’s beautiful cock momentarily, too overcome with desire to be able to suck on it properly. “Please, give me another.” Abruptly, his lips left mine, and I looked over my shoulder to find him staring at me with wide eyes.“Oh, fuck, I wanna hear you moan my name again.”

“Put another finger in my ass and I will.” He didn’t wait another minute before doing just so, and I fucking cried out at the feeling of being stretched open, already yearning for the feeling of one of their cocks replacing Bucky’s fingers.

“Fuck, Y/N, I had no idea you were so into this. I love the way you look with my fingers deep inside your ass.” Fucking hell, Bucky’s mouth was just sinful. And he got his wish, because as I fucked myself back into his fingers, all I could say were versions of his name, under Steve’s watchful gaze. His cock throbbed in his fist, and that’s when I took it upon myself to stop Bucky’s actions.

“Okay, okay. Fuck, I need you inside of me right now. Both of you.” Steve reached out to pull me over his lap, so I was straddling him, and I took the opportunity to once again substitute his hand with mine, lightly jerking him off as I heard Bucky look around for some lube.

“Are you sure you can take us?” I cocked an eyebrow at the blond man underneath me, a true work of art. I wanted to play it off as irritated, but I could only find giddiness inside of me over everything that was happening, so I leaned down and captured his lips with mine, releasing his cock to rub myself against it.

“Just get inside of me, will ya?” I rubbed the mushroom head against my clit before slowly sinking down on him, biting my lip at the beautiful moan Steve released upon feeling my walls clamping on him. And then I braced myself for Bucky’s cock.

Ironically enough, as I gasped from the feeling of being so amazingly filled, they both hissed, four hands pressing down on me in a clear sign that they were already dangerously close to coming. I inhaled sharply, taking sick pleasure on the burn of being so stretched out as I waited for them to start moving. And when they did, I simply let myself go, allowing them to use my body as they thought best.

“Fuck, darling, do you know how fucking great it fells to be inside of you?” Steve asked, his hands cradling my face to pull me into another breathtaking kiss. “You’ve been teasing us like hell all those years, we were going crazy.”

Steve’s P.O.V.

“He’s right, baby girl.” Bucky couldn’t take his eyes away from mine as he continued, “Do you know how many times I fucked Steve in this very bed, pretending you were here too?” The sounds that were escaping her were better than any music, and it was getting harder and harder to focus on not bursting inside of her tight, wet pussy.

Both Bucky and I had been wanting her for so long, the need to worship every inch of her body was strong inside of us, but hopefully, we’d have other opportunities to take our time. For now, I knew we needed her to cum, and soon.

I pressed her clit as Bucky’s hands went to graze her nipples before harshly pulling on them, and she sobbed as her hands covered ours. “Please don’t stop, please.” Fuck. Hearing her beg was torture, but the sweetest one possible.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Cum around our cocks like a good girl. Don’t you want to be our good girl?” The fact that those words were the ones who did it for her brought us excitement like nothing else. So much so that when she finally relaxed, falling against my chest, it only took a little incentive for us to meet our highs, too.

“Do you like that, doll? Do you like the idea of being ours? Our sweet, pretty girl?” Bucky was brushing her hair away from her face so we could get a better look of her, but all we got was another sob as she trembled in my arms. 

“Please be ours, sweetheart,” I urged, holding her face so she’d look me in the eyes. “Say you’ll be ours.”

“Fuck, yes, I’m yours, I’m yours.” As both of our cocks twitched inside of her, an explosion of wetness started to drip on the duvet underneath our bodies, all the while Y/N’s body kept trembling.

“Did you just… squirt?” My husband’s face was priceless, and I didn’t need to look down to know that his cock still hadn’t softened, despite the strengths of our orgasms.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me,” she yawned, adjusting her head on my chest, my cock still throbbing inside of her warm heaven. “Classes start in twenty minutes. The professor just needs a quick nap for now.”

➡ click here to read about the progression of their relationship

[hobidreams]

Curiosity | JJK {M}

when innocent jungkook comes to you with a not-so-innocent question... you decide it’s easier to just demonstrate.

pairing: switch!jungkook x reader genre: smut words: 3.6k contains: college au, best friend’s brother, oral (m), bondage (m), kinda soft dirty talk/praise, condomless sex, jungkook has a huge dick (of course), he also has a massive crush on you a/n: thank you for the request, anon!

Of one thing you are deadly certain: you should not have left this essay to the last minute. Your fingers fly across the keyboard, tapping out words you hope form sentences coherent enough to net you a decent grade. There’s no other sound save for your occasional grunts of frustration, as your roommate is out on her long-awaited date with a cute lit major (Namjoon, was it?). You’re only a hundred words away from finishing, and you can’t wait to be done with this so you can get started on the million other things on your to-do list.

You’re so focused, you don’t even notice when the lock on your front door turns. You certainly don’t realize someone has slipped inside, backpack slung over one shoulder, bright-eyed grin on cute lips. It isn’t until— “Hello?”

“Gah!”

You jolt, leaping back as you grab the weapon nearest to you: a ruler. You point it towards the source of the voice, which reveals itself to not be an axe murderer, but Jungkook, looking amused. “Are you going to measure me?”

“God, Jungkook.” You let the ruler clatter to the table. “You have to stop doing that.”

He plops down onto the couch. “Sorry.” He flashes you an innocent smile that you’re sure has all the girls in his lectures fawning over him. Not that he would know what to do with them. Not this sweet, boyish Jungkook.

“Anyway, your sister isn’t here.”

“I know.” He strips off his jacket, draping it neatly over the back of the sofa. He’s in a plain black tee, looking more handsome than anyone has the right to in such basics.

“Okay then.” You swivel your chair back to your laptop.

Recently, Jungkook’s been hanging out here a lot more often, with or without his sister. You don’t actually mind; you keep to your own devices, so it doesn’t make much of a difference. He’s a good kid, always up for a movie or a talk about anything and everything. Navigating first year at university is always a rough time, so you’re usually happy to help him when you can. But right now… The paper takes absolute priority.

You re-focus and resume the rapid-fire typing, trying to ignore the shuffling you can hear behind you. It gets harder to not notice when Jungkook stands up and pads to the kitchen. He opens the fridge, then the freezer, then pours himself a noisy glass of water. He comes back into the living room with the cup in hand, leaning against the doorframe as he sips. You can feel his eyes on you, no matter how you try to remind yourself that you have to finish this.

To your relief, he eventually gives up and walks to the sofa. But a minute later, he’s back at it again, this time heading to the rack of CDs. You can’t help but track him with your peripheral vision, watching him restlessly fumble around with your collection. The minutes tick by, and to your absolute shock, the words on the document aren’t writing themselves.

In the end, Jungkook does nothing at all except distract you. When he turns from the CDs emptyhanded, you catch his gaze. “Don’t you have papers to write or exams to study for, Jungkook?”

“No, I finished all of my work already. At least, all the important stuff.”

It must run in the family, you think begrudgingly. Lucky them.

“Well—”

“Actually!” Jungkook interrupts you in a voice so loud it scares even himself. He takes a step forward, softening his tone. “Actually. I did have something I wanted to… erm… study. I wanted to ask you about it.” He shoots you the look that you both know you’re weak to. Curse the gods for making him so darn adorable.

It’s not like you’ll get any work done with him around anyway, so you figure answering him just might get him to leave. “Okay. What is it?”

Why does he look so nervous? His fingers knot themselves before he reaches up to touch his hair, smoothing out kinks that aren’t there. He sniffles.

“Jungkook?”

You see his lips move, but you can’t quite hear what he’s saying.

“Pardon?”

“…ndage… Uh, can you… maybe, possibly, please teach me about bondage?”

Nothing on earth could have prepared you for that to come out of his mouth.

You practically fall out of your chair, your jaw slack. “What makes you think I can teach you?” Flustered, that’s the best thing you can come up with.

“You’re more experienced than me.” He walks closer, towering over you. “There’s no one else I can ask. Please.”

You didn’t even know he was experienced at all in the first place! How had you been so mistaken in your impression of him? “Why do you even want to learn?”

“I…” His cheeks slightly flush with color. “I’m just curious. Really curious.”

You take a hand through your hair. “It’s not really something that can be verbally taught.”

“Show me then.”

You can’t help the pulse that runs through you at the dip in his tone, at the stubborn desire that you’ve never taken notice of before. Where has this Jungkook been hiding all this time? His arms are crossed, the veins from training prominent and rippling. They’d feel good wrapped around you. Are you really contemplating this? Hell.

“I… I’ve gotta finish this paper.”

“Take a break.”

“No way. Not unless I get to tie you up.”

“Deal.”

“Thought so. Wait. What?”

“Deal,” he repeats. “Tie me up.”

“Jeon Jungkook.” You stand, trying to stare him down even though he’s taller than you. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

“You know we can never go back if we do this.”

He nods. Just that simple action sends dangerous tingles from the pit of your stomach, a sensation that lets you know you’re on the cusp of doing something you really shouldn’t be doing. But you’re starting to want to.

Suddenly, he walks away. For a brief moment, you actually find yourself disappointed before you realize he’s just picking up his backpack. A quick zip, and he’s pulling out thin, solid-looking fabric in a dark navy. As he makes his way back to you, he offers a smile, but it no longer looks innocent to you.

Your eyes dart from him to what he holds in his hands, then back to him. You swallow. You’re almost done the essay anyway, right? Snatching the straps from his palm, you stalk into your bedroom, hearing his footsteps behind you as he follows so obediently.

In the room, you flick the lights on but dim them low. You circle around, tilting your head to look up at the boy you never thought you could ever see in this way. In this light, with that dangerous glint in his eyes, you can’t see him as anything but.

You reach for him, pressing your body flush against him as your lips meet for the first time. He tastes faintly like candy, a sweetness that you recognize as dangerously addicting. He traces your lips with the tip of his tongue, his broad hands sliding up beneath your oversized hoodie to find you’re wearing nothing underneath. Meeting your bare flesh makes him growl with fresh arousal.

“I… I was just studying so I didn’t bother,” you mumble, a lame excuse but to your credit, the firm bulge that’s pressing against you is very distracting.

“Makes things easier.” He smiles as he steps back to tug his tee over his head. It falls to the floor along with his belt, his jeans.

“Impatient?” You ask, raking your eyes down past his sculpted chest, the subtle outline of his abs. The mirth in your eyes dies completely when you take in the prominent, massive outline in his boxer-briefs. Yum. Your own restraint runs empty as you hook your fingers into the waistband, and tug down.

I want that inside me, is your first thought when Jungkook’s cock is freed. The smooth curve that stems from a short tuft of midnight hair leads to a dark-red head, prominent and full. Sparse foreskin just barely covers the ridge that looks like it’ll be merciless. You gulp, steadying yourself. You remind yourself that you’re meant to be in charge here.

“Get on the bed.”

Jungkook obeys, letting his head rest on the multitude of pillows. He licks his lips, managing to make even that simple action ridiculously enticing. Especially now that you know what that tongue is capable of. You advance, sliding the straps between your fingers. You’ve only done this once before so it’s not like you’re particularly well-versed either, but you can’t find it in you to give up this opportunity.

His eyes never leave you as you guide his arms up, looping the fabric around his wrists, careful not to hurt him. “Is that too tight?” You ask, cinching the knot around the poles of your bedframe. You hadn’t considered this to be an advantage of this particular bed before.

“No.”

When you’re satisfied that your ties are secure, your fingers leave his skin much to his chagrin. You circle around to the foot of the bed, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie. You consider leaving your clothes on, but they’ll only be a distraction. Especially with the heat and sweat that’s already prickling on your skin.

Off it goes.

Jungkook’s eyes are saucers as he takes in your naked breasts, full and pert. He never could have imagined he would actually be seeing them instead of in his dreams, over and over again until he ruins his pants in his sleep. But now he knows that none of his fantasies can compare to the real thing.

You fight back the giggles at how shell-shocked he looks. It makes you want to take off something else to watch him react. But the only thing that remains… You eye your terry-cloth shorts and can almost hear Jungkook whispering yes.

Fine.

Those go too, leaving you standing in the cheeky black panties fringed with a flirty lace. You take it deliberately slow, strolling to the bed so he can watch how the undies shift with every movement, so he can wonder if you’ll expose what lies beneath by accident. Crawling onto the mattress, you wonder if this is how a predator feels when beholding its prey.

Jungkook shivers when you draw a path up his legs with your fingertips. His first moan is when you flit to his inner thigh, so close to his cock but not quite. You let your nails gently scrape at his skin, drawing closer only to pull away. “Fuck.” The expletive uttered in his once-shy voice is a juxtaposition that drenches you.

You didn’t think anything could top that noise, but then he gasps your name when you finally curl your fingers around his cock. The veins that run along his shaft ripple beneath your thumb, racing with adrenaline as he stiffens even more. It all only crescendos from there.

“Ngh!”

The bedframe rattles violently against the wall as Jungkook tugs against his restraints, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. His hips buck upwards, trying to force more of himself into the palm that you keep carefully, infuriatingly slack with every stroke. He is the very picture of need with his slightly pouty mouth, effort glistening on his skin in the sparse light. You could definitely get used to a sight like this.

“Shhh, you don’t want the neighbours to hear, do you?” You whisper, amusement thick in your tone.

“Forget them,” Jungkook moans, “just don’t stop.”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be giving me commands.”

Each pump is now accompanied by a wet squelching from the pre-cum that only gathers when he’s torturously aroused. How could he not be, when the girl he’s been crushing on for god knows how long is on her knees, bent before him in only her panties? The wicked smirk playing on your lips tempts him more than you could ever know.

God. Jungkook wants to touch you. He would give anything to wrap his fingers around your waist and submerge himself in your pretty cunt. He wants to watch you fall apart at his hands like he is at yours. But you tied these restraints too well.

“You’re so cute like this, Jungkookie,” you tease, “so hard and eager.” He jerks when you push against his frenulum, groans rising in volume when you twist your wrist. “And I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.” Drawing closer, you exhale, letting your hot breath dance across his shaft. His cock jerks in response.

“Want a reward?”

A desperate whimper escapes him and the tingles between your thighs practically explode. How can any one man look so delicious when he has no power at all? You want him sliding into you, can practically feel how he would stretch and force you to his shape. He could easily bottom out and then some, with a size like this. You don’t think you’ve ever craved a dick this badly before. But you remind yourself that this is meant to be a lesson for him.

“Yes.” He lifts his hips. “I’ve been good.” He’s using those adorable eyes to his advantage, unleashing them in fervent hope that you’ll cave.

“Mmm.” You let his cock fall against his taut tummy, freed fingers now running up his torso to appreciate how his sculpted body responds to your touch. “I don’t know...”

“Please…”

You kiss along his inner thigh, fighting your own urgency despite the sticky arousal pooling between your legs that you’d rather slather on his shaft. How will react when you take him in your mouth? Will he whimper, or will he groan? You’re having way too much fun with this, but there’s just something about Jungkook that is irresistible.

When you finally lick a trail up the length of his arousal, he bucks. “Ha-aah…!” Your tongue swirls around the head, dripping saliva messily around the head to really give him a show. When you cast your eyes up, he’s struck by how much he wants to shove your head down, to stuff your mischievous mouth until you’re choking on him. You recognize that glimmer in his eyes and find yourself a little relieved he’s tied up at the moment. You can’t have him interrupting you, after all.

Wrapping your lips around him, you start a suction that no man has ever been able to resist. Jungkook is no exception as the bedframe is sent shaking again, especially when he hits the back of your throat. You can hardly keep your jaw open but it’s worth it if you can see him like this. You manage to take almost all of him into you, a hand making up for what’s left.

“I-If you keep doing that, I’ll come,” he stutters when you come up for air, tongue dragging lazily along the ridge.

“Should I let you?”

“No.” He shakes his head for emphasis.

You raise an eyebrow. “No?”

“I… I wanna come inside you instead.”

He already knows you’re on the pill. Cheeky brat. You eye him and he grins, playing innocent, though you both know he’s fooling no one. As much as you want to turn him down for sheer satisfaction, his cock is too convincing. You reach for your panties.

As you peel the ruined fabric away from your soaked cunt, you point a stern finger at Jungkook. “No moving. Or else.”

“Okay.”

He’s holding his breath as he watches you straddle him, shifting into the perfect position that he half-wishes was over his mouth. He hopes there will be time for that later. At least, he’ll be trying his best to make time. For now…

You lower, and the glans parts your folds, sinks inside. “Oh, goooood.” Nothing could have prepared you for this. You are going to be so sore tomorrow, but right now all you want is more. “Why are you so big?” You cling to his sides, focusing on just breathing. Your clit is begging to be touched with each inch that you take.

“You like it that much?” Jungkook sounds proud.

“Maybe.” You can feel him everywhere, the fullness that violates your senses and forces all thought to dissipate. “Just. Maybe.”

When he’s hilted, when your thighs are meeting his and you feel him nudging against your cervix, you have to pause to gather yourself. But that doesn’t last; you can’t resist from sliding yourself along the dick that only seems to get harder inside your heat. He’s watching you, eyes glued to your form as you tremble and shudder, a carnal beauty that he can’t believe is all his, at least for the next few moments.

You were trying to hold back your moans, but they start to drop freely from your lips by the third stroke as you adjust to catch your clit on his pelvic bone. He loves when you grind against him, so blissed out that you’ll do anything if it means you’ll cum. You were right, he thinks, that there would be no going back from this. He already knows he’ll never get enough of how you throw your head back and ride him, thighs slamming into him, cunt impossibly tight and dripping because of him. It almost makes being tied up worth it. Almost.

You’re getting faster. The bed whines under the weight and motion as you swing your gaze up and find him just as drowning in this as you are. His hair is a mess against the pillows, half-obscuring those lust-consumed eyes. No matter how your muscles ache, you can’t stop. Not anymore. Not when pleasure glows white hot in your veins, ready to explode.

So close. You’re so goddamn close—

“Ah, ah, stop, stop.”

Instantly, you halt, frowning as the wisps of climax escape your gasp. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“The ties. It hurts. It really hurts.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry!” With Jungkook still buried inside you, you lean forward. You dig your nails into the knots and hurriedly undo the cloth that binds him. “There. Are you okay?”

The fabric falls onto the pillow and he rolls his wrists a few times, testing out his newfound freedom.

“Jungkook?”

His dark eyes swing up to meet yours. Uh oh.

Everything flips.

Your back hits the mattress. Strong arms wrap around you. Now Jungkook’s the one on top, body heavy, keeping you pinned. He has the audacity to smile before he gives a single pump of his agile hips, a taste of what he’s capable of.

“Did you—Jungkook!” You want to smack him, but any anger that you might have felt is overridden when he kisses you, really kisses you with an urgency that can only come from denial. Your tongues mingle and explore, tasting each other’s need like lovers starved.

“Sorry, but I have to fuck you now,” he breathes against your lips.

Your smart mouth can’t come up with a retort. Not when he’s pumping into you, using that thick cock way too well to stimulate your sweetest spots. Each slippery stroke shoves you closer to the climax that promises to break you. You’re already pulsing, nails scoring scratches on his back while he sucks at your neck, both instinctually trying to stake claim on the best sex you’ve ever had.

At his mercy, all you can do is breathe as he forces your legs back with strong arms hooked under your knees. Now he can go deeper, slam himself against your cervix while you drench him with arousal and fill the room with broken sighs. He wants every bit of his cock soaked in you.

“Baby,” he pants, bangs falling, “I love how wet you are.” Where had that pet name come from? But you’re not so much surprised as you are aroused by this side of Jungkook, carnally grunting as he ruts. “I’m close, fuck.” he spits it out like he doesn’t want this to end, and you know exactly how he feels. He reaches for your clit, haphazardly circling with his fingers and you cinch around him desperately.

Five seconds later, you’re gone.

You’re vaguely aware of the heat he spills into you as you tremble, pulsing and shaking against him as you cry his name. He gives you his deepest strokes yet before he slows, collapsing onto you, exhausted. And in this moment, all you can do is hold on to each other while pleasure rolls and ebbs, and the sparks melt into comfort and satisfaction.

Eventually, the heat is too much to take. “You’re too heavy,” you say, lightly laughing as you shove him off.

He lands facedown on the mattress with an oof. “You didn’t mind it five minutes ago.” When he looks up, rolls over to flash his teeth at you, all smiles again, you know better than to underestimate him. You let him cuddle up, rest his cheek on your arm.

“So, did I sate your curiosity?” You ask sarcastically, pressing a hand to your sweaty chest to find your heart is still racing.

Jungkook tilts his head. His eyes find yours. “Not yet.” He drops a kiss on your skin. “I think we’ll need to do it a few more times.”

You roll your eyes, though you can’t quite turn him down as his kisses get deeper, shift over to the soft skin beneath your breast. He licks the curve, nibbles. “Your sister is going to kill me.”

Pushing onto his knees, Jungkook picks up the discarded straps from the pillow. “That’s tomorrow’s problem.” He holds the ties out, and there’s that smirk again. “Now, I think it’s your turn.”

[shes-soparticular]

Might Just Be My Everything and Beyond

Shawn’s girlfriend leaves town for a bachelorette party. He’s left to his own devices.

A/N: Just fluff. P.S. I’m now taking requests and am happy to start a tag list for anyone interested :)

Words: 4180

     He’s never wanted to be that boyfriend. The hopelessly co-dependent kind that can’t be left to his own devices without his girl around to entertain him. But today? Watching Alex throw sunscreen and sandals into her suitcase? He’s feeling a little like that boyfriend. Their bed is presently covered in a pile of her summer clothes, her pointer finger pressed to her lips as she ponders the fabrics like a complex equation. Feeling that familiar wave of neediness come on, he walks up behind her, wrapping his arms tight around her shoulders to stop her as she throws another pair of shorts into the suitcase.

     “I know you’re going to have blast in Vegas with your girlfriends but you know what else would be super fun?” Shawn rests his chin on the top of her head, trying his best to hide the pouty tone of his voice. “If you stayed home with me instead.” When she initially announced she was planning her best friend’s bachelorette party as a liquor fueled weekend in Las Vegas, he’d thought it was a great idea. Alex had been busting her ass at work over the last few months in addition to putting up with his insane tour schedule for the better part of a year, so a long weekend to blow off steam with her girls was well deserved. It wasn’t until he started listening in on all of her planning that he got a little nervous. The club crawls, the all day pool parties, the front row seats at Magic Mike…and if he’d overheard her conversation with her raunchiest friend, strippers weren’t completely off the table. Regardless, he knew he had nothing to worry about. She was an adult, she had more than earned his trust over their two years together, and it wasn’t like he had any concern she was going to run off on him with a Vegas stripper. More than anything, Shawn selfishly felt like he would be missing out. He wanted to hold her hand in front of the Bellagio fountains, wanted to slather her in sunscreen poolside, wanted to carry her out of the club on his back once she refused to wear her heels. (Because this happened every single time Alex wore heels.)

      “And what benefits are in store for me if I stay home?” She inquired, leaning her head forward to deliver a soft bite to his forearm. Her attention was still mainly focused on her wardrobe choices, but as the queen of multi-tasking, she could manage to entertain his pouting.

     “Well, we could stay in all weekend watching conspiracy theory documentaries. Order your favorite Chinese food…” Dropping his arms from her shoulders, he let his hands settle on her hips, thumbs hooking under the top of her pajama shorts. “Have all the sex.”

     “Mmm…you really know the way to my heart, don’t you?” She places her hands over his, momentarily pushing them teasingly further under the hem of her shorts before pulling them away completely, earning a frustrated groan from him. “Let’s put that plan on hold until next weekend? You know I have to go to Vegas, this is my best friend’s bachelorette we’re talking about. I have to be there to make sure it’s a weekend to remember.”

     Something about that statement makes his brow furrow. “Why don’t I like the sound of that?” Watching as Alex resumes her packing, he flops down on the bed next to her suitcase, giving up on sidetracking her. At least for the time being.

     “Don’t worry, this weekend isn’t about me. I’ll be good. You know that.” Her statement is matter of fact, but as she holds up a pair of bikini bottoms that look more like a thong than swimwear, Shawn doesn’t feel especially at ease.

     “But that whole “no talking to boyfriends” rule? Is that really a thing? You’re really not allowed to talk to me for three days?” This was by far his least favorite part of this Vegas trip. Although those bikini bottoms were giving this rule a run for its money. The concern in his voice is enough to catch her undivided attention, bringing her to stand between his knees where they dangle off the edge of the bed.

     “I know, it sounds dumb but we all made a pact. We’re going to have a true girl’s weekend which means not reporting back to the men at home.” Resting her hands on his thighs, she leans forward to give him a soft consolation kiss. “I’m sure I’ll post plenty to Insta and Snapchat. You’ll have proof that I’m alive.” He won’t challenge her now, but he already knows there’s not a chance in hell she’ll obey this rule. Even with his exhaustive touring, they’d never gone a day in their relationship without speaking to one another. Without at least checking in.

     “What if I came with and just hung out in your hotel room? You wouldn’t even have to tell anyone.” Reaching up to her with grabby hands, he simultaneously locks his legs around hers forcing her to lean all the way forward. With an indignant sigh, she lets herself collapse on top of him, her hair hanging around them like a curtain. “It could be our little secret.” Shawn knows how much she loves an opportunity to sneak around. It could be that she’s simply an exhibitionist, or, more likely, it takes her back to the beginning of their relationship when dodging his fans and the media made their romance something of a team sport.

      “I’m sharing a room with two other girls, I think they’d notice you in my bed.” She momentarily lifts herself up, moving her legs to straddle him more effectively. She may not be giving into his requests, but she’s also not strong enough to deny him attention. No matter how much packing she has yet to do or how early her flight leaves the next morning. “You’ll be fine here on your own. It’s just three days and we’ve spent far longer apart.” Even though he knows she’s right and that he’s being far too dramatic, he still can’t shake the sulking feeling. “You’re just getting a taste of being the one stuck at home.” Her eyebrows raise with her statement, amused by the role reversal. Of course she’s right. He rarely thinks twice about leaving for weeks…months at a time. That’s not to say that it isn’t insanely difficult to be away from her. Obviously if he had his way, she’d travel with him for the entirety of tour. But regardless, it’s a thousand times easier to be away from the one you love when you’re moving at such a fast pace you barely have time to reflect on it. Yes, there were days and nights that the urge to hold her nearly drove him to cancel a show and fly home. Yes, there were days and nights that hearing her muffled voice from across the ocean was enough to rip his heart out. But at the end of the day, there was an entire team of people relying on him to keep his shit together.

     This would be different though, considering there’d be no performance to focus his nervous energy on. Instead, he’d be rambling around the condo on his own, with little else to think about than what she was up to. And not even being able to call her? That would make it infinitely worse. “Fine, leave me here. All alone.” Just because he knows that no amount of pouting is going to convince her to cancel her trip, doesn’t mean he’s not going to give it his best effort. “Have your fun.”

   While she won’t admit it, his plan is almost working. His puppy dog eyes are melting through her and it’s nearly enough for her to fake the flu and call the whole trip off. But considering the bride-to-be has been her best friend since the third grade, there’s really no contest. Shawn will be fine on his own for three days, she knows that. As long as he stays away from the stove. “My mopey boy.” Alex pouts right back at him, leaning in to kiss that look right off of his face. “I’ll be back before you know it.” She punctuates her statement with another kiss, her hands taking their own initiative to roam underneath his shirt. Just as her lips start a trail down his neck, she catches movement out of the corner of her eye. Shawn’s hand has somehow found those bikini bottoms, which he is presently trying to shove under the blankets to hide them away from her. He can deal with her going to Vegas. He can deal with her dancing all night with her friends. He can even deal with her throwing singles at some oiled-up dudes. But he cannot deal with seeing her in that thong of a bikini through his phone screen without any means of taking it off. She catches his wrist in the nick of time, holding it down on the bed as she tries to wrestle the bottoms away from him. Unfortunately, he’s got them in a death grip, his other hand free to tickle her side in the exact spot that makes her unable to function. “Okay, okay, but if you make me forget my swimsuit, I’ll just have to skinny dip.”

              Immediately, he releases the bottoms in defeat, tossing them back towards her suitcase. Fine. If he’s going to be subjected to that evil piece of fabric from a thousand miles away, he’s at least going to make up for the lost opportunity in advance. Without warning, he rolls them over, her back landing on top of a pile of clothes yet to be packed. “You’re the worst, you know that?” Giving her no time to respond with her signature sarcasm, he captures her lips in a hungry kiss. She’ll make it to Vegas, but if he has any say about it? It’ll be on no sleep and smelling of him.

      Day one starts off fairly easy. For starters, Shawn absolutely gets his way and they’ve only been asleep for an hour or two when her alarm goes off at 7:00am. He watches with tired satisfaction as Alex rushes to finish packing, throwing items into her suitcase without consideration. He’s pretty sure that in her haste, his jeans from the night before end up in the mix, but he keeps that to himself. He’s not proud of it, but he takes advantage of her guilt long enough to con her into granting him one last quickie rather than taking a shower. So when she gets out of his car at Toronto Pearson, she’s still flushed and smelling of sex and he feels pretty good about sending her off that way.

      At first, time passes quickly. Mostly because he spends most of the afternoon catching up on sleep. It’s around 5:00pm when the updates start rolling in, beginning with a wholesome group photo that Alex has posted to Instagram. He has a sneaking suspicion that this will be the last photo taken in Vegas where they collectively appear sober and bright eyed. In any case, he’s glad to see a sign of life from her. As the night pushes onward, he’s quickly proven right as he watches several of her friend’s snap stories as they go shot for shot with one another, the sound of their woohoo’ing driving him to turn down the volume on his phone to the lowest setting. Okay, so maybe he’s relieved he didn’t go and hide out in her hotel room. Granted, it’s not like he’s any stranger to the sound of screaming women. Around 11:00pm, he nearly chokes when he comes across a video of Alex taking a shot of tequila with her hands held behind her back, the whole bar cheering her on. At midnight, there’s a photo of her holding back the bride-to-be’s hair with in the backdrop of an opulent marble bathroom. He checks for the last time shortly after 2:00am to see that they made it out to the clubs in one piece, though he takes note that Alex has already taken her heels off. Predictable. With one day under his belt and two to go, he drifts to sleep surprisingly quick considering her fingers aren’t threading through his hair.

     Day 2 becomes a bit harder. Not only is he bored out of his mind, but when there isn’t a single update from Alex or any of her friends by 1:00pm, his stomach starts to churn. He knows these girls, they live for social media and a bachelorette party is prime content. Reminding himself of the time difference, he’s soothed temporarily but it’s not long before he’s refreshing each social media account desperate for updates. Just as he’s about to break the rules and call her, the bride starts posting video after video of the group poolside at a day club. He swipes past all of the photos of obnoxious inflatable pool toys and selfies of the other girls until he finds a video starring Alex. From the cover photo alone, he recognizes the cut off short covered ass belonging to his girlfriend. Honestly, he could pick it out of a lineup with ease. The way there’s just a flash of cheek peeking out from underneath the faded denim, the shorts completely filled out to the point that his breath hitches in his chest. As if he hadn’t kneaded that ass in his palms less than 48 hours before.

      Eagerly, he hits play on the video only to instantly hear the beginning of the Lost in Japan remix. The camera zooms in on Alex as she turns towards her friends, a giant, open mouthed smile plastered on her face. Instantly, she raises her comically large, neon colored drink into the air, hips already swaying suggestively to the song. “That’s my man!!” Her voice is hoarse but full of pride and excitement, and he swears his heart almost can’t take it. Without shame, he replays the video over and over, maybe a dozen times. There’s a matching smile stuck on his face as he hears her shout “that’s my man!” again and again. Alright, so maybe Day 2 isn’t so bad either. At least not until he sees the group photo of the girls hanging all over the dancers from the Magic Mike show. Alex, in particular, is sandwiched between two incredibly buff dudes that would put even Shawn’s physique to shame. The way her hand rests on the tanned abs of one of the guys causes a rush of jealousy to burn upwards through his chest, but all he has to do is rewatch the pool video for the twentieth time and the feeling fades away. “That’s my man!” Do people still use personalized ringtones? Because he’s pretty sure he’d like to hear that sound bite all day, every day. Some would call it odd to be this infatuated with someone this far into a relationship, but every glimpse of her gives him butterflies.

      By Day 3, he swears he’s about to lose his mind. The minutes seem to crawl by and nothing helps pass the time any faster. In typical Shawn fashion, he spends a while juggling. He does an Instagram Live for 20 minutes. He tries to figure out how to make this chicken thing Alex always cooks, but he burns it and turns to cereal instead. He screws around on the guitar for awhile but inspiration never strikes. Finally, he calls in the reserves and invites his buddies over for a boy’s night. He also swears to himself that he’s not going to check in on Alex…because he knows if he does, he’ll end up calling her. Since he has a feeling that she’s expecting him to fail at the three day communication embargo, he’s doing his best to power through this final day without proving her right. Inviting his friends over turns out to be the right call, as his mind finally leaves Vegas and joins the world of X-Box and craft beer. It isn’t until he hears Brian snickering from the corner of the room that Alex is brought back to his thoughts.

     “Dude, Alex’s friend Chelsea is live on Insta right now…I think you might want to see this…” He passes his phone to Shawn, the rest of their friends leaning in to see what all the fuss is about. Sure enough, there’s Alex, on a karaoke stage with the bride-to-be, microphone held sideways in her hand. She’s…rapping? Not just to any song, but the incredibly raunchy Ludacris song “What’s Your Fantasy?”. “She’s getting every. Single. Word. Right.” Brian can barely catch his breath he’s laughing so hard, and Shawn isn’t sure whether he wants to laugh along or rub his temples. Alex would. She’s almost more of a ham than he is, always the person in the room cracking jokes the loudest, always willing to make a fool out of herself to get a laugh. Based on what he can see from the video, the crowd is LOVING it and he almost feels a weird sense of pride? For his girlfriend performing a dirty song? It doesn’t make a lot of sense but this is one of those strange, inappropriate moments where the only thought in his head is I’m going to marry this girl.

                The next morning, he wakes up long before his alarm, energy already coursing through his veins. Boyfriend energy. There’s a notification on his phone, only a few hours old, for a text from Alex. He grabs his phone so fast he nearly fumbles it, trying to swipe into the text message to see what was finally important enough for her to break her silence. It turns out to be a video, just a few seconds long. Clicking on it, he’s treated to the sight of Alex climbing into her hotel bed, hair piled in a top knot and sheets pulled up to her chin. “I love you. I miss you. One more sleep, baby.” She blows a kiss to the camera at the same moment one of her friends shouts at her to shut up. The video cuts off just as she yells a “make me” back, face twisting from puppy love to bitch, try me. Jesus, where did he find this woman?? Just like the pool video, he plays this one several times before texting her back. No more sleeps. See you soon, honey. Travel safe. Love you. He is whipped. Completely. Shamelessly. Happily. Whipped.

                      When he finally sees her coming down the escalator, he has to fight to stifle a laugh. Half of her face is obscured by a massive pair of sunglasses, the hood of her sweatshirt pulled up over her head and tied around her face. A baggy pair of sweatpants he’s never seen before and a sad pair of flip flops complete her outfit. She moves slowly when she steps off the escalator, a slight limp in her walk as she favors one ankle. She doesn’t notice him at first, but the second she does, her shoulders slump even lower.

              “I am…not okay in this particular moment.” Alex wheezes, voice barely above a whisper and clearly lost from all of the drinking, screaming, and rapping she’d been doing in Sin City. Leaning directly into him, it’s clear that she’s wiped out and wrecked from her three-day bender.

              “What? My girl can’t rally like she used to?” Shawn readily accepts her into his arms, relieved to be able to feel her again. And also, maybe, a little relieved that she made it home in one piece.

              “The problem is that I did rally. For 72 hours. Now I never want to see vodka again. Or tequila. Or champagne.”  She pauses for a beat, head still pressed into his shirt. “Whiskey is still okay though.”

              This time, he allows himself to laugh at her expense but pulls her in tighter all the same. “Well as long as you’re not claiming to swear off all alcohol. That I wouldn’t believe.” She whimpers into his chest, understandably unable to match his energy. “Come on baby, let’s get you home before you drop.”

      By the time he gets her into the apartment, he realizes that she might still be a little bit drunk. Trying in vain to convince her to lay down on the couch, she attaches herself to him once more, arms slung around his neck, doing her best to climb him like a koala. “I missed you. Every second. I should have let you come along.” While he’s touched to hear this admission from her, he really is happy that she got to spend the weekend on her own, letting loose with her friends in her element. There will be plenty of other vacation opportunities for the two of them, a few that he may or may not have started researching when he was climbing the walls on Day 3.

              “I don’t know, it looks like you had a great time. Especially at Magic Mike,” He leans back far enough from her so she can spot his raised eyebrow. “You seemed pretty damn enthusiastic for that, by the way…”

      An incredulous squeak escapes her, face turned up to look at his. “I was only hyping it for the bride! Why would I be horned up for those meatsuits when I come home to this?” Her hands settle on his cheeks, giving his face a soft squeeze. “And this…” Her statement is punctuated by her pelvis grinding into his.

              His hands instantly catch her hips, stilling her before she can go any further. “I’ve had three days of blue balls watching your stories. Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

              There’s an actual look of shock on her face, considering she’s not used to being turned down. “Who says I can’t finish?” There’s a determination on her face that makes him second guess himself. But upon giving her a once over, he pauses long enough to think of the most delicate way to let her down.

      “For starters, while you look like the most beautiful train wreck, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you this tired.” He bites his lip, hoping that critique won’t upset her. But she seems to willingly accept it, blowing the loose hair out of her face and rubbing her tired eyes. “You need a shower and a nap. As much as I want to make up for lost time.” There’s a mixture of disappointment and gratitude on her face, which he answers by patting her butt towards the bathroom. “Go shower. I’ll nap with you after.”

              As she showers, he gets busy making her a cup of tea with a copious amount of honey to sooth her throat. Being the king of using YouTube to teach himself new skills, he watches a few videos about wrapping sprained ankles until he feels confident. By the time she’s finished, he’s ready and waiting to fix her up. She complies with his orders, relaxing into their headboard, cup of tea balanced on her chest while his hands gently affix the wrap around her injured ankle. Fingers ghosting over her skin once he’s satisfied with his work, he grabs a pillow to rest underneath her foot. “I’m glad you had fun. But. I’m calling it now, no Vegas for your bachelorette party.” He chuckles, crawling up the bed to join her. “I hear Calgary is a great bachelorette destination. Maybe Winnipeg.”

              Swallowing the last of her tea, she discards the mug on the nightstand and rolls to pull herself into him. “You know, there’s this key thing that needs to happen before it’s my turn for a bachelorette party.” It’s a lighthearted statement which she follows with a soft kiss to prove as such. She’s never been the type to put any pressure on their relationship nor has she ever been preoccupied with any timelines. As evidenced that weekend, Alex was more of a “live for the moment” type of person. That was one of the many things he appreciated about her, considering so much of his life had to be tightly planned. With her, there was never any pressure.

              “Just putting it out there. You might want to give it some thought.” He flashes her a knowing grin, bringing his face to hers for just one more kiss. There isn’t a single doubt in his mind that this is the woman for him. And sooner than later, much sooner, he’s going to make sure the whole world knows it. “Now go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up and you can tell me all about Vegas.” She settles into him once more, head on his chest and ear over his heart. “And we can talk about your karaoke performance…it’s given me…some ideas…” The last sound he hears before her breathing turns deep is an embarrassed laugh and a murmured I love you.

     Yep, he’s definitely going to marry this girl.

tagging @fourtristattoos for boyfriend!week 

[dippedanddripped]

A Q&A With Keary Kase On Pioneering Hip Hop In Portland

Trenton, NJ born rapper Keary Kase is now pioneering hip hop from Portland, Oregon. After having been involved in a Nike ad campaign that featured him on Billboards across the US, Keary’s singles began to top the radio charts. He began to work with artists like The Wutang Clan and producers Bosko and Non-Stop Da Hitman. Most recently, he partnered with Adidas designers in Portland to develop ‘Reder’ – an athletic apparel brand with focus on CBD delivery systems for athletes who are recovering from injuries.

We had the chance to sit down with Keary Kase to talk about Portland’s thriving hip hop scene, his Nike campaign, and what fans and followers can expect in 2020.

Tell us a little bit about the hip hop scene in Portland. We’d love to know more!

Portland hip hop has so many facets, I’m not sure where to begin. We do have a solid foundation of originals, like Mic Crenshaw, Cool Nutz, Mellenium (Kenny Mack), Maniac Lok, Bosko, Vursatyl, X-Kid, DJ Wicked, Pete Miser and myself, who are still active.

Having strong artists, who have made careers in Hip Hop, as role models and idols allows the kids to aspire to become musical artists. Without these examples, the endless call to normalcy and job security (which we all now know is B/S) by pretty much EVERYBODY, would lead these young Ore-guns to self doubt and failure.

Mike Capes, Swiggle Mandela, Drae Steve’s, JR Patton and Keith Canvas are a few Portland artists to check out.

Right now, a lot of artists are showing support to the BLM movement using their voices to speak, rather than rap to those participating in protests, rallies and such.

How do you feel being originally from the east coast has affected your musical style?

In my embryonic years, I saw myself as an east coast rapper. I felt like, with the exception of rappers like Ice T, Too Short, NWA and The DOC, west coast rappers were mostly basic compared to east coast rappers. They had KRS, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick (my favorite golden era rapper), Special ED, Kool G Rap & Polo, RAKIM!!! Plus WBLS used to play all the hot new shit off the block.

I was enamored by east coast swagger and tone. The slang and accent was natural for me because my entire family spoke with it. My ability to slip in and out of the style made me different in Portland.

In the early 90’s I started spending time in LA. I was slanging FIMO beads to tourists at Venice Beach in the daylight and going to clubs and shows at night. I met this dude named Self Jupiter at this summer festival called The African Marketplace, where I was selling jewelry and celebrating my black youth. Jupiter was a member of a rap group called Freestyle Fellowship. He gave me a tape. After I listened to it, my entire opinion of west coast hip hop was turned upside down. I witnessed west coast rappers like Volume 10, WC, Divine Styler, Cypress Hill and E40 change the game. I became influenced by them and my style was set free. I became open to all influences, no matter if they came from the east, west, northwest, midwest or south.

Tell us more about the Nike ad campaign you were featured in. How did that come about?

One day I was leaving my boy Tommy Hestmark’s studio in downtown Portland. I was walking down the street with my back straight and my chest and chin up, as all men and women should. This guy approached me and said “excuse me, can I talk to you?” I looked at him sideways and he says “no, no. It’s just…. Your face is CRAZY!” I squinted as if to say “do you hear yourself fool?” He pulls out a card and explains that he owned a modeling agency and he thought my look was money. He asked me to call to schedule a test shoot. I called and scheduled the shoot. When I went there, he asked me if I was wearing boxers. I confirmed, then he asked me if I would take some test shots in my boxers. I’m thinking this dude is either going to proposition me for sex or he wants to see if I can be the next face of Calvin Klein. I gambled on Calvin Klein and agreed to take the pics. We walked into a hall and he said “you can get undressed here,” then walked away. So there I stood baring all that my boxers would not cover, with my clothes in a small pile on the floor. I heard footsteps, then an attractive woman appears holding a camera. It was his wife. She told me where to stand , took a couple quick pics and said “Keary, you’re a machine,” then allowed me to get dressed and walked me out.

A few weeks later they called me back and said a photographer knew of me and wanted to do a martial arts shoot. There was no pay, but the photographer was well known and really good. I had no portfolio, and no published work so this was an opportunity to do TFP to add to my comp card.

The photographer, Marcus Swanson, wanted me to do a flying sidekick, which is a classic taekwondo photo kick. When I got there, there was nowhere to get a running start so I improvised and pulled it off. While I was there, a Nike scout was lurking. As I was leaving, Marcus’ assistant, Amber Geiger, mentioned a potential shoot for Nike and asked if they could do a quick polaroid. Snap snap and I was out. A few months passed by before I got a call back from my agent about the shoot. In those few months, I became a black belt, won a gold medal at the the regional national qualification tournament in the black belt dividion, then a silver medal at the US National Championship, and was leaving in a few days to go whoop everybody’s ass at the invitational US Team Trials. It didn’t play out that way but I believe being so active in the few months between the martial arts test shoot and the paid shoot is what influenced their decision to go with me for the ad campaign. We agreed on a date and time, after my return, for the shoot.

When I got back, we did the shoot. I thought it was going to be light work but it was brutal. Modeling is hardcore. I remember seeing myself on a billboard for the first time. It felt like a distant relative to masturbation. I also remember it taking forever to get my money. Agencies can be gangster. I had to make some very firm promises before I got the check. After that, our relationship became square.

You have worked with several platinum artists and producers. Do you have any memorable stories about your experiences that you’d like to share?

Hmm. I don’t like to deride or D-RIDE anyone, but there was an interesting encounter with a Wu-Tang Clan member named Cappadonna. Cappadonna, Killa Priest and a small crew they were touring with were staying at my house when they stopped through Portland. My roommate, MyG,  was helping them do some business in Portland while they killed time before their next tour date. At the time, we had a lil 5 bedroom spread with 2 recording studios in it, so we let their whole crew crash at the spot. The house was already like a revolving door for whoever was on tour in the NW. Artists could come through while in town and collab, get local pub through us and be blessed with some Oregon grown greeneries for the road.

So this was the first time we met (Cappadonna & I). I was taking acting classes at the time so I was gone when they pulled up. When I got home after class, Cappadonna was in the booth. I walked in the room and he started talking wild like “aye yo break that nigga watch!…stab that nigga!” I’m standing in a room full of dudes, with New York energy, that I don’t know, so I assumed he was talking about me. I dip out to my room and get a screwdriver just so I have something in my hand incase things go left. A few minutes pass, then MyG tells Cappadonna to move on to the next part. At this moment I realize he’s in character and not talking about me at all. Killah Priest enters the room. We introduce ourselves and dap up. He asks me what I do and I tell him that I’m in acting school. When Cap comes out, KP says “this is Kase, he’s an actor.” They gave each other a look that, to me , expressed what he spoke as “this is Kase, he’s a fake nigga.”

Granted, I’ve been a skater since day 1, so I understand that some black people (especially at the time) associate being a black skater with being less black or more white. With that in mind, I let what he said breeze by.

After we blessed up, we got to the business. Bosko had let me hold a beat that I wrote a sticky verse to; Cappa liked it so I let him put a hook on it. Me and KP did a DOPE song on a track that this dude named Smoke produced. It sounded like some official Wu-affiliate shit. MyG lost the session so none of that material was ever released.

The next day the energy still felt suspect. Like they thought I was a suburban negro, lol. I took them to the block, which is now gentrified, but was still hood at the time. Cappa called my whip a 666. It was the same Denali XL with the same 26” Trump Spinners that was in the video for the song he was promoting at the time, but mine was cleaner. It seemed like he felt a way about it. We went to my mom’s restaurant, where Cappa requested a Psalms verse from my mother. She said “how about a Revelation,” and laced all of us.

I dropped them at the barber shop to get faded and bladed. When they came out, the energy was different. Cappadonna got in and said “you know your hood and your hood knows you. He said you put your moms in that restaurant, didn’t you?” I just looked at him and put my hand out. We dapped up and the respect, which was first being given by me and received by him, suddenly felt mutual.

Cappadonna is a wise dude and a beast MC. I asked him questions related to his lyrics. He explained to me what “God Degree” and “7:30” meant and told me the story of the origin of his name. You might be able to detect that I’m most definitely still a Wu-Tang fan, although I liked his earlier work. KP knows what I mean by that.

Tell us about your involvement with the CBD industry and your views on how it can be a therapeutic tool for people?

CBD is my go-to treatment for a number of conditions. If I am anxious, I use a non-psychoactive tincture. This gives me a general sense of well-being, without making me feel altered or high. I feel like myself on a good day. If I need to restful sleep, I employ a cannabinoid rich CBD blend that allows me to drift off into REM without jumping up 100 times to make sure the garage door is closed (or whatever). Using CBD is like taking premium vitamins.

In 2019, I started a company called Nina Botanica with a material designer who works for Adidas in Portland. I began researching how to use compression technology as a CBD delivery system for athletic injury rehabilitation. There are some products on the market that offer a similar product, but none that fully address the issues of muscle strains, tears and associated pain that can knock an athlete off of their game. What sets us apart is, our CBD compression system has a lifetime guarantee. You can use it until you’re tired of using it.

We also designed a pod based delivery system, called the NINA , with Shenzen based technology company Smoore. The smart hexagonal pod + cartridge system uses inductive charging in place of the industry standard USB to power up.

Due to COVID-19 and our current bout with systemic racism, the techy products will be in preliminary production until mid-late 2021.

Tell us about your latest project “Craze”. Who is involved and what inspired it?

I was a week back on after being off music for years. Just getting my lungs back, not planning on dropping anything yet; just warming up. An artist named Uneek, who had been my mentee for several years, reached out. He was talking about how he blew all of his savings on medical expenses for his seed and how William, Lil Willi and Big Bill were all coming for him at once. He had just got robbed in Atlanta, so he was shy about who he could trust in Portland.

Uneek asked me to help him to rebrand himself and act as a manager, as I did in the beginning of his career. Since he had just found the strength to come out about his sexual identity, he wanted to look to the LBGTQ community for support. Since that was outside of my sphere of influence, I decided to help him generate some traffic in his home studio, offering tracking and mixing as an engineer. I told him we could put out a mixtape to re-introduce him to his followers and the rest of the world. I got 15 tracks from  producers, Sixteen and J Doe. I wanted to see how serious he was about his career so I told him to put hooks on  all 15. He would send me a rough lyric or melody, then I would write or rewrite the lyrics then massage the melody and coach him on how to execute it.  After he did it, I would chop it and arrange it in a Logic, while I was on the road.

Once the mixtape concepts were in the bag, I told him we needed a real record to kick it off. There was a lot of material in his catalog, but nothing that sounded like a hit single to me.

He got a track from this lil dude named 64 and put a hook on it that had us laughing. He was like “yeah this track sound like something Da Baby would get on.” It wasn’t my style, really, but I kept getting drawn into the drums. I let the first line go off the top then it seemed like the rest of the lyrics were just there. We called it “She A Thot.” It dropped on all platforms back in April of this year.

Craze, the follow up single, manifested itself off of the vibe we were on after “She A Thot” dropped. 64 had sent us a 3 pack of beats so it had some of the same feel as the others, however, the “Craze” beat was much more elegant than the other two.It was like the bigger, sexier, more mature and pondering sister of the “She A Thot” beat.

When I started writing, I felt the beat asking me to confess. It was saying “tell your truth, Kase.” The melody in my head was so balanced that I just let it drive through the first verse. I remembered, as a young man, being so caught up in hustling that I lost my compassion for people. I reflected on how I had spent the last decade, since my first daughter was born, re-approaching life with more compassion.

Whatever you have done in your past does not define you. But sometimes it’s good to talk about it. Black  people have traditionally been afraid of counseling or therapy. Mostly because of our trust issues with the people providing those services. I strongly suggest talking to someone about the things that trouble you. My uncle Jeff calls it “dumping.”

Music is my therapy. Dumping is my new craze.

What artists are you listening to right now and why?

I like listening to new music. I’m listening to Lil Durk, Pop Smoke, Amine, Jack Harlow, etc. But that’s like research for me. I like to see and hear what the big dogs are investing in. But right now, I’m developing a K-Pop artist, so I’m listening Big Hit Entertainment’s people. I’m about to go over there and liberate some musical slaves. (*artists)

But I still listen to Sade.

What’s next for you in 2020? What can fans look forward to?

I’m dropping a mixtape later this month. I may be doing a record + video with Compton artist, AD in the next few weeks. We’re still working out the details, but he’s doing real good right now.

Other than that, I’m developing a young K-Pop idol named Kiari. That genre is making big waves. I’m also looking at television as a next play. I have a pocket ace in the Chinese market that I’m keeping tucked. Oh I’m doing business with China.  Sorry Chump…I mean, Sorry Trump. No, wait, I had it right the first time.

[glamrockmonarch]

Countryside (2019!Brian May)

A/N: This is a piece of fluff/smut probably not very well written but I still tried... and I do hope you like it! It has taken me FOREVER to be able to upload it... - sorry!

You walk into the hotel following Brian. All morning you have been out and about with his crew. The past week has been exciting for your husband, he has been getting to know some farmers and as you were trying for a baby, and your most fertile days were close you decided to tag along. 

Lucky for you, you have enjoyed nice weather. The crew is filled with people of all ages, but everyone looking forward to getting in the hours of work and making a difference. Brian has a great work ethic, and you can see that everybody around him admires his attentiveness and the way he treats everyone as an equal even if it only a young boy bringing you water while you walk along a farm. 

This day you have been doing something slightly different in preparation to go back to London the next morning; you have been taken to an animal shelter, where you and Brian get to speak to the caretakers and hold a couple of very interesting animals. Although you were a little bit squeamish when you first met him, nowadays Brian cannot seem to get you to leave the animals once you laid your eyes on them. And hedgehogs are some of your favourite creatures, while Brian has a very public love for badgers. 

“This one is our girl, Lily”, one of the caretakers said to you earlier, “she just had some babies!” 

Inadvertently, she introduced you to the babies and watched you sit down on the grass with a litter of small little pointy hedgehogs, admiring the small pink paws. 

“We can name a couple of them after you if you’d like,” the woman offered as you marveled in the barely brown tip of the long noses of the almost newborn animals. 

Brian held Lily in the meantime and watched you nod. 

It was a moment later that your phone when off and upon looking at the screen your eyes searched for your husband’s. Without saying a word, Brian knew what you meant to say. Your alarm had gone off and you were officially on your three-day window to get pregnant this month.

  Brian was not gonna lie to you when you brought up the topic of having children, he got a bit scared wondering if that would be possible. He was half sure he could get you pregnant but still, he insisted both of you had a general checkup with your doctors before getting down to business. You are a healthy and young woman, so there is no problem with you, as for Brian everything works perfectly well and even better than average for a man his age - as the doctor pointed out. 

So now, as you say goodbye to Brian’s English crew and part ways to go onto different elevators and different floors you have your hand wrapped around his and smile up at him once the lift opens its door to allow you inside. 

“You are doing great work here, Bri,” you compliment him and press a peck on his jaw. “I am proud of you.” 

Brian is a grown-up man, yes...but he is also a very soft one. He might know how to take care of himself, yet he still needs a pat on the back from time to time; you have learned that he needs a lot of love and patience, which you are happy and willing to provide him as he does for you sometimes too. 

“Thank you.” Brian squeezes your hand. 

Tilting his head to the side he glances down at you and smiles. The two enjoy the silence while the lift brings you up to your floor, your eyes staring into one another. It is moments like this that make you forget about anything people outside of your relationship might have to say. You let your gaze drop and pull Brian’s hand towards you as you lean on his side and wrap your free arm around him. He always makes you feel loved, special and safe. It is as if Brian has the answer to everything, even when he does not, he still manages to make you feel better and see reason. For all of this, you cannot wait to have a child with the man, loving the idea of raising them together. 

When the metallic doors open you step outside first and drag the older man behind you down the hall to your room at the opposite end of the large hallway. Entering your small room, you kick off your shoes and watch Brian close the door. The two of you stare at one another with blank expressions as you take off your coats. 

“I think the names Y/N and Brian will suit those baby hedgehogs quite well.” You comment half-jokingly. 

Brian chuckles, the sound quiet and low. A small laugh leaves your lips as you see the shirt Brian has been wearing today. The image of Groot makes you giggle when it is on your husband’s body. 

“Alright, what’s up with that?” You pull your jeans down and kick them to the ground without a care. 

You put your finger on the black shirt Brian is wearing and watch as an expression very usual in him signals his confusion. He blinks a few times repeatedly and tilts his head to the side with a toothy grin. 

“What do you mean? This is Groot!” He is in love with the character and you know it, heck, even Roger does. “From that movie we watched...” 

You nod and giggle, working his belt and zipper to get his pants down. Brian’s hands find the spot they usually take on your hips and you feel a sudden wave of need rise in the pit of your stomach as his thumbs press on your exposed skin. 

“Are you not gonna kiss me, Doctor May?” You pout at him. 

“Of course! All you have to do is ask, Mrs. May!” His eyes are blown wide open as he speaks which makes you crinkle your nose. 

Brian slides a hand up to your waist and kisses you with tenderness, his lips brushing against yours slowly, taking you from all thought that was not him. 

Although you have been together for almost three years and Brian was sure he wanted to move forward with you, he did not want to push you so he waited till you turned 24 before he asked you to marry him, a little over six months later, here you were: still living your best life as a couple. 

You  let the pants drop and pool around his ankles, your hands pushing the fabric of his clever shirt up, uncovering his torso you pull away from his lips so he can throw the item off of him, taking the opportunity to rid yourself of the pretty pink sweater you slide it over your head and let it drop somewhere behind you.  As many times before you cup his cheeks and pull him in close to kiss his lips once again, needier this time. You show him through the shallow short kisses you press on him that you need more than what you are getting. Brian knows you and he is eager to move on to the bed as well, he finds the straps of your bra and pulls them down your arms, unhooking the small metallic clasp so it drops between the two as your breasts are revealed to him. 

Staring at one another you feel his hands grab your sides, squeezing your waist and then tracing the underside of your breasts as his calloused fingers then tease your nipples. Sighing you let him completely cover your breasts with his hands and enjoy the electricity that seems to flow through your entire body as he puts his lips on your collarbone, neck and at last on your lips persuading you to part them as his tongue enters your mouth. You slip your hands to the back of his neck and wrap some of his long curls around your fingers as you toy with his hair.

Brian pulls you closer and you start taking small steps backwards until the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. You pull away from him and peck his cheek running your hands down his chest before hooking your fingers to the hem of your panties, sliding them off. Your eyes don’t leave his as you push your hair to the side and turn around, pressing your back to his body. Brian pulls you onto him by the hips, dipping his head to kiss your shoulder tenderly, his fingertips slide up your side and follow your curves as you close your eyes to enjoy the sensations his touch brings on your skin. 

You do not want to break away from Brian’s embrace as you feel his erection poke your arse through the fabric of his underwear. It is, of course, all with a purpose, but you two still like to keep things relaxed and do as you normally would. So it is not strange that sometimes you just want Brian to give you a bit of spanking while you have sex - nothing too harsh, only the right amount that turns him on a little bit more and makes your knees shake. 

“Should take those off, dear.” 

At your suggestion, Brian chuckles. His hands leave your body and you take this moment to climb onto the bed, pulling at the covers you take a pillow and lay there for a moment, hugging the padded rectangular cushion. Your husband takes little time discarding his last piece of clothing and soon enough he is climbing on top of you, you can feel both his soft kisses leaving a trail up your spine and the soft brush of a couple of his curls as they drag over your naked skin. Closing your eyes you hum in response to his actions and feel the space between your legs grow sore with need once Brian hums too, his voice sounding lower. 

“You want to turn around, love?” he inquires out of courtesy, never wanting to push you into anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. 

When you shake your head no he balances his weight in one arm, lowering himself over you, and puts his other hand on the side of your hip as his hard-on pushes against your bum. 

“I love you” He whispers on your ear and puts a kiss on your shoulder. 

Reaching up and behind you, you touch just under his chin and lift your head only enough to nod.

“And I love you,” you say before you both go in for a kiss. 

The soft brush of your lips lasts only a moment as you stick out your arse and Brian’s grip on you tightens. 

“I just want you so bad, Bri...” you admit with closed eyes. 

It does not take Brian any more to get him going, he pulls away and gives you a moment to push yourself up. Once you stand on your hands and knees Brian spreads your legs a bit and you hear him grunt as he stares at your exposed body. His hands slap your arse taking you by surprise as you let out a loud shriek. Leaning down to press a small kiss to your shoulder Brian positions himself behind you and with his hand guides his hard cock into your pussy, sliding inside you in a long stroke. His hands hold on to your hips and pull you back against him, a small whimper leaves your lips at the roughness of his touch but you do not really mind it as you feel him already pulling halfway out to push his hips right back into you again. 

Brian will not admit it out loud, but he does have a slight preference for fucking you like this. Sometimes he does want to see your face and watch as your mouth forms that perfect little “O” shape when you are about to cum, sometimes having your hands gripping into his back drive him mad... And some other times like today... he wants to have you all to himself vulnerable and exposed; because nobody else can do this to you but him. 

You moan loudly once Brian picks up a pace, sliding his cock back and forth into your core, hitting that sweet spot inside you as you rock your bodies in unison. The air grows thicker in the room and you are completely lost in a pure ecstasy too big you only seem to fall deeper into it when your husband’s hands slap your arse in sync with his thrusts. The vibration it sends through your core meets the sensation of Brian’s cock being buried inside you and makes you cry out for more. You do not care if your bottom will be red by morning, or if you will have a hard time sitting through the entire flight back to London; you want Brian to spank you and to do it hard so you can feel it in your whole body. 

“Please, Brian, please!” you plead while he keeps fucking you. 

“A little more of that?” Brian teases you by giving you a light pat, but you clench at the touch of his hand so it backfired and he only managed to grip onto your hips, a moan escaping his own lips, “we can have more of that...” 

It is not soft and pretty; in fact, Brian’s fucking is quite rough tonight. The sounds of your moans are accompanied by the sound of skin slapping against skin and you worked up breathing filling the room.  Neither of you could resist the pleasure, although it sounded very different you both became loud moaning messes as Brian lands his hand on your bottom with every thrust into your obliging pussy. 

He is hard and thick and hitting the right spot every time,  you cannot think of anything but Brian and your lips keep repeating his name until the pleasure bubbles and erupts from your belly, and spills into the rest of your body. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you cry and reach out to press your palm into the headboard. “Brian...” 

You are an utter mess, with your back arched and your hips shaking, Brian has to hold them so he can fuck you through it. Unable to pull away from you as you say his name over and over again, Brian chases his own orgasm, getting there in part thanks to the inviting pulsing of your warm pussy around his cock. Brian slides one of his hands up your back and touches the end of your spine before pulling you upwards so your back is pressed against his chest as his warm seed pours inside you. Closing your eyes at the sudden spurts of cum, you bring your hands to where Brian’s lay across your stomach and on your hip, your mouth hangs open from your own orgasm as Brian moans through his own one. Sighing when he grunts into your ear, you tilt your head back into his shoulder to catch your breath. Your husband is spent as well, and you cannot blame him - so are you! 

When he slides his cock out of you he makes sure you are lying comfortably in bed before pulling your knees closed and playfully pushing your legs up. 

“What are you doing?”  You giggle, looking up at him. 

“Making sure everything stays in there.” Brian offers with a toothy grin that makes his features look much younger, making fun of you for a comment you made a couple of weeks ago.

You reach out and watch him come closer to your hand so you can caress his cheek and grab his chin as you rub across it with your thumb.

“Of course, we would not mind trying again the next couple of days, right?” You shrug. 

Brian lets go of your legs and puts his hand around your wrist, turning his face to kiss your open palm. 

“If you insist...” with that Brian leans back down onto you and kisses your lips, “we could even try again before the sun sets!”

“Just in time to go see some constellations!” You add like the nerd you are. 

Hearing you say this, you swear your husband’s eyes give the impression of having been lit up. 

I played myself again, guys.

[college-au-masterblog]

Title: Match my Breath

Chapter 4: A Spark

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Kokichi and Shuichi keep their mouths moving but fail to talk, again.

Content warning: Explicit sex, implied sex as self-harm. Under the cut, there is self-harm, panic attacks, self-hate, and internalized victim-blaming.

Additional tags: College/Grad school AU, Trans characters, miscommunication, nipple play, oral fixation, kink discovery, body worship, breath play

Notes:

Finally finished the latest chapter to this fic!!

The chapter is pasted under the cut, but if you read I would love if you commented on Ao3! I’m still p new to fic writing and would love feedback.

Thank you to @dietshuichi my love, pall, and collaborator. I put the breathplay in 4 u.

[[MORE]]

Kokichi pushed Shuichi lips first, hands quickly pressing onto his cheek, pushing up underneath his shirt. Shuichi had to hold his arms out to avoid tripping over his own feet. Kokichi's kisses were rapid yet purposeful, starting shots for a race with a visible finish line; Kokichi barreled forward.

Shuichi's lower lip had just been sucked into Kokichi's violent mouth when Shuichi pulled back, teeth scraping against him in the process. They didn't speak, but it was far from silent. Kokichi watched straight-faced and wide-eyed as Shuichi pulled down his shirt and attempted to catch his breath.

Well, this is going to be even quicker than I thought, Kokichi mused as he braced himself for the familiar rejection he sought.

But Shuichi didn't shout or scoff or laugh. Kokichi thought Shuichi might retaliate, and winced as he maintained eye contact and raised his open palm. But his hand moved past Kokichi's head and onto the door, pushing it closed.

The door. Which had been open.

Oh.

Shuichi smiled too gently and spoke, "Ah-a, hi."

CLICK

Kokichi heard the lock behind him close, then the deadbolt, and the other deadbolt.

Shuichi had a thing for security.

Once the door had been properly closed, Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi's waist. He bent at the knee to get to an appropriate angle and spun so that his back was now to the door, practically lifting Kokichi in the process. Kokichi hated himself for letting his weight fall onto Shuichi's welcoming arms.

Shuichi's smile refused to falter as he continued,

"Now, what the fuck are you wearing?

Oh.

Right.

Kokichi had forgotten about his ingenious solution for February ho-ery and had just dommed up his crush in a hot pink, floor-length, fluffy, marshmallow coat.

The walking sleeping bag.

Kokichi continued unphased. "Only my sleekest seduction wear. What? You're too good for "Baby's First Snow" couture? Slaying in Sleigh-bells? Marsh-my-Mello and puff me up Zaddy.

Shuichi broke into laughter, and Kokichi took the pause in active conversation as an opportunity to reflect. Anything to drown out that laugh.

Admittedly, Kokichi had been focused on other things. In fact, despite the physical nature of his actions, he had intentionally separated himself from his body. The point of this wasn't to feel. It was to stop the feeling.

But why did Shuichi have to look at him like that?

His detective was clearly amused.

But more importantly, he wasn't his.

Kokichi looked up at Shuichi with mischievous eyes and then turned his gaze downwards towards his own body, inviting Shuichi to do the same. Kokichi pulled on the zipper and revealed what he was wearing underneath, certain that Shuichi would be more enthralled by what he wasn't wearing.

When Kokichi glanced up again, he was pleased to see that this time, Shuichi's eyes hadn't followed along. Instead, they were lingering somewhere closer to Kokichi's thighs. Kokichi lowered his voice, "I wanted to surprise you," he stepped out of the coat completely, kicking it behind him with his stride. "Well," He was only inches away from Shuichi now, "Are you surprised?"

The laughter was gone, replaced by heavy breaths and unfocused, hungry eyes.

Before Shuichi could respond, Kokichi gripped the front of his shirt with both hands and slammed into him once again. He pulled Shuichi around pushed them both backward, not stopping until the backs of Shuichi's knees hit the edge of his couch.

With a final shove, Shuichi fell backward onto the plush cushions, eyes wide and arms raised above his head. Kokichi kicked off his shoes, climbed on top of him, and mashed their lips together. Kokichi was relieved to feel that Shuichi was already at least partially erect. This shouldn't take too long, Kokichi assured himself as he aggressively massaged the growing bulge to further expedite the process.

Kokichi tried his best to ignore the hands wandering his own body, save for ducking out of the way when they neared any spot that might be too vulnerable, too sensitive, too difficult to ignore.

Kokichi simultaneously slipped his tongue into Shuichi's welcoming mouth and fumbled with the other man's pants, eventually releasing the button and undoing the zipper. Kokichi pulled Shuichi's pants down just enough to expose his cock. Shuichi gasped at the sudden shock of cool air, only to fall back into a moan as Kokichi stroked his erection.

As soon as his dick felt suitably hard, Kokichi lifted his torso up, pushed his sturdy black underwear to the side, and moved to ride Shuichi, when he was stopped by a trembling hand. Shuichi had lifted just enough to push Kokichi's hips aside. His expression was decidedly concerned as he furrowed his brows at Kokichi.

Kokichi paused at the sudden interference before continuing knowingly "Sweet~chi, I've been tested, and this slut is a hundo-P STI free! Now if it's other concerns that have got your briefs climbing up your ass," Kokichi rubbed the space between his stomach and crotch. "With the hormonal situation I've got going on, plus my Lil' Copper Buddy- Let's just say that if you manage to get anything cookin' in this oven, we've got a lot more biblical armageddon-y problems than any clinic could deal with. Anndd on the topic of second comings~.

Shuichi's groaned, his body spasming and mouth opening wide as he felt the tip of his dick enter Kokichi.

But when he opened his eyes, he saw an image that immediately stripped the situation of any pleasure.

Kokichi's face was contorted in pain. He was wincing, steadying himself on the couch with a trembling hand as he tried to force his wholly unprepared body down onto Shuichi.

Shuichi felt his eyes water as he adjusted his hips to separate from Kokichi. Shuichi attempted to reach towards his face, but the moment Kokichi felt him pull out, the grimace was replaced by a charming smirk. Kokichi's face looked at ease.

But his hand was still trembling.

"What's the matter Sweeeechiiii? Hoping to fuck my mouth instead? Nishishi~ One fuck, and you're already bored of that hole? Well, luckily~ I have others."

Before Kokichi could dip his head, Shuichi cupped Kokichi's chin and lifted him up.

Shuichi's experience with sex was undeniably limited, and it was difficult for him to ascertain what was "normal" second hook-up behavior. However, he knew Kokichi well enough to know that this wasn't his normal. Something was up, so Shuichi wasn't.

Adjusting himself back into his briefs and lifting his body back into a sitting position, Shuichi stammered. "U-Um, a-actually," Shuichi knew better than to trust in Kokichi's cool expression. He focused instead on Kokichi's hand as he dug his nails into the side of Shuichi's couch.

Shuichi gave Kokichi what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I just think this might be fun somewhere more comfortable, you know? I'm, ah, kind of falling off here."

He wasn't lying. His couch was not a stranger to sexual encounters, but like 99% of Shuichi's history, it was limited to solo trips and sized appropriately. Good for a quick release if he got home from work a bit too stressed, or annoyed, or distracted by a daydream he had on the ride home, and just couldn't make it to the bed. Not intended for real-life dalliances with real-life cuties, whose blessed weight pressed against him, and also pressed his back into the less-pleasant hardness of the couch's base. His lanky legs were awkwardly dangling, unable to fit onto the limited cushion space.

Kokichi took in the unbalanced positioning and stated factually, "Hm, I see your point. And I'd much rather see your other point. Welp, Let me just move my cutie Lil' booty over to the floor and you can just-" But he was cut off by Shuichi moving off the couch first.

"I have a different idea- if you don't mind."

Before Kokichi could question him again, Shuichi scooped the smaller boy into his arms and held him up.

"I want to take you to my bed."

Kokichi hadn't prepared for this. Bridal-style carrying was not on the agenda, did not align with their roles, but here Shuichi was, going off-script.

Shuichi's room wasn't very far away, a fact for which Shuichi's un-trained arms were grateful. He really didn't want to be thinking about Kaito right now, but he felt his disappointed presence, chastising him for every weight un-lifted. As he moved through the "hallway," which was really more an extension of the living room/kitchen, his mind flashed images of Kokichi's strained face. Notably, Kokichi, who was always so careful with his expressions, deliberate in his disarming, hadn't tried to conceal the hurt, not until Shuichi pulled away. Shuichi wanted to doubt his own deduction as he connected cruel dots.

He didn't think he had to.

Kokichi didn't think his visible discomfort would dissuade him. Shuichi felt ill. Did people usually fuck him without any consideration for his pain, let alone his pleasure? How many times had it been like this? How many people saw tears in his eyes and kept going?

He held Kokichi tighter as they neared the door. He turned around, used his hip to turn the knob, and walked backward into the space, careful not to bang Kokichi's head. He laid Kokichi onto his bed, allowing his head to rest onto a pillow. Shuichi paused before joining him and traced his fingers back and forth along Kokichi's thighs.

Shuichi took a breath and asked, "Can I undress you?"

He looked to Kokichi for a response and was happy to see a serene expression. Kokichi's mouth was agape, and his eyes were glazed over, pointed in the general direction of Shuichi's lingering hands. The light tickle-scratch touch had soothed him. Then, as if waking from a dream, Kokichi swallowed and blinked up, mouth tightening as he sneered,

"Ugh, FINE. I guess if Shuichi needs a bit more ~visual stimuli~, I can accommodate,"

Kokichi kept riffing as Shuichi pulled off his own shirt and positioned himself above Kokichi on the bed. "Now are we doing this or should I get my outerwear back on, cause I'll have you know that the full marshmallowzation process can take up to ten union minutes and-"

Shuichi kissed Kokichi before he could continue.

Shuichi kissed him laggardly, in defiance of Kokichi's tempo. He found that he had no choice but to submit to the decadent, horrible, sensation.

Kokichi felt the hands he had been dodging traverse his body. One hand cradled his neck, fingers reaching to rest in his hair, and the other started at his thighs and traveled upwards, lingering below his waist and massaging the muscles around his hip bone. Kokichi's moans couldn't drown out the alarms ringing in his head. DANGER.

Too much. Too good.

Not real.

Kokichi might have attempted another snide remark had Shuichi not dragged the hand that was on his neck down to the frayed edge of his cropped shirt. Shuichi pressed his palms flat onto Kokichi's stomach and pushed underneath his top, pushing the fabric up and revealing Kokichi's chest. Shuichi's hands ran over Kokichi's hardening nipples, and the contact incited an involuntary cry. Kokichi spasmed with pleasure, jumping into the touch then falling back, breath heavy, feeling conflicted about Shuichi discovering the extent of his sensitivity.

With the pads of his fingers, Shuichi lightly tapped Kokichi's nipples, testing a hypothesis. Once again, Kokichi whimpered, this time, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to fight against the needlessly overwhelming sensation. Shuichi felt he had likely confirmed his theory, but extra assurance couldn't hurt. He let his fingers rest on Kokichi, rubbing gently in small circles as he spoke. "You're really sensitive here, aren't you?"

Kokichi thought it was a shitty question.

But he didn't say that, couldn't say much of anything when his whole body seemed focused on the minute movements of Shuichi's hands.

Kokichi hated this, or at least, he hated not hating it. He hated himself. He knew this couldn't go anywhere good, and yet he didn't move, didn't want to. He desperately wanted to live in this world, this space where Shuichi cared for him and kissed him softly and didn't let him hurt. He wanted it even if it wouldn't last. He was disgusted with himself for indulging in his sick fantasy.

He hated liars.

But if he was going to hurt anyway,

Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi and pulled him down, fully intending on bringing him into a deep kiss. Their lips met, but Kokichi only had a moment to savor the feeling of Shuichi's tongue entering his mouth before he was forced back with an embarrassing squeal. Shuichi had pinched his chest, hard.

Kokichi absolutely expected Shuichi to be laughing and was surprised to see that Shuichi was just as wrecked as he was. He was just barely avoiding drooling out of his panting mouth. They kept their faces close as Shuchi continued toying with Kokichi's reddened chest, loving the way his fingers could make the other boy cry out into his mouth. Enthused by the desperation in Kokichi's eyes, Shuichi lifted Kokichi's shirt off of him and tossed it to the side. Kokichi compulsively pouted when Shuichi first took those incredible fingers away, but he moaned in delighted relief as Shuichi raked his fingernails down his body, down his arms, over his chest, stopping at the tops of his thigh highs.

Shuichi looked up at Kokichi and stated, "I didn't finish undressing you." Shuichi locked eyes with Kokichi, waiting for the go-ahead. As soon as Kokichi gave him a gentle nod, Shuichi lowered to Kokichi's thighs. Kokichi gasped as he felt teeth scrape against his inner thighs, followed by wet kisses trailing down his newly exposed legs. Shuichi lowered the stockings inch by inch, taking care to cover each revealed bit of flesh with open-mouthed kisses. Kokichi trembled and tried desperately to tune out the lingering warning bells.

He fell into Shuichi, enveloped in his warmth. He knew the spark would come and if he was sinking into tar, he didn't care because, at that moment, it was more than worth the cost of getting burned.

Once Shuichi reached the ends of Kokichi's legs, he quickly pulled off the stockings and kissed the tips of his feet. He was almost entirely naked now. Almost.

Kokichi looked at Shuichi and saw intense determination. He moved purposefully yet tenderly up Kokichi's body, this time, giving him only teasing pecks along the way. Kokichi, selfishly, stupidly, craved more. His legs parted unconsciously, his body revealing the desire his mind wanted to hide.

Kokichi held his breath as Shuichi reached the edge of his underwear.

Kokichi's mind raced. Shuichi could run away, Shuichi could leave, he didn't want to be with him, why would he do something so intimate with a guy who was just an easy fuck.

Shuichi positioned his face in front of Kokichi's clothed cock. His mouth hung open, and Kokichi could swear he felt Shuichi's hot breath against him. They both laid still, waiting, when Shuichi finally spoke out,

"Kokichi. Do you want this?"

Against his better judgment, against himself, against any hope of self-preservation and leaving this situation unscarred, Kokichi whispered,

"Yes."

Shuichi's mouth on him felt more than incredible.

He kissed him firmly over his underwear, flattening his tongue and licking a luxurious stripe up from his entrance to the tip of his cock. Once there, he pressed his lips down to wrap over the sensitive head and suckled gingerly at the obscene wetness.

Shuichi couldn't help but notice how soaked Kokichi's underwear had become, even before Shuichi had his mouth on it. The teasing and kissing had Kokichi pliant and dripping pre, in stark contrast to his earlier state.

Shuichi liked the taste of Kokichi's come, and although having his mouth stuffed with Kokichi's used panties satisfied him in a way he wasn't quite ready to confront, he wanted nothing more than to feel Kokichi's bare cock against his lips.

He gripped onto the elastic and pulled down, careful not to tear the fabric. Kokichi graciously lifted his hips in support, and with that, he was entirely nude. This action reminded Shuichi of the fact that he had somehow momentarily forgotten; Shuichi had hands. Two of them even! And the fact that those hands were not being put to better use was absolutely criminal.

As Shuichi went to lower his head once again, he lifted his hands, relishing in Kokichi's delirious moan when his fingers reached their destination.

All at once, Shuichi pulled at Kokichi's hardened nipples and fervently sucked over his dripping cock.

Kokichi screamed.

Despite his lack of experience, Shuichi felt utterly comfortable and confident licking Kokichi's twitching cock. In fact, he found himself moaning into each kiss, letting his tongue explore, and suckling the soft folds to see what would make Kokichi scream the loudest. Shuichi was swept in complete supplication and all too eager to offer his tongue in worship.

Startled by his own arousal, Shuichi- a detective- was suddenly able to put years of nail-biting, gum-chewing, and lip-worrying together. It only took over two decades and the noble sacrifice of hundreds of ruined pencils.

On the topic of ruined pencils, Shuichi found himself desperately rutting into the mattress. Every lick brought him closer to his own edge. He didn't know how much longer he would last, only that he needed Kokichi, to have Kokichi fill his mouth.

Uncomfortably hard, Shuichi longed for more friction but didn't want to take any attention away from Kokichi. Shuichi compromised by lowering one hand, making sure to offer Kokichi hard, slow laps, to compensate. Shuichi quickly adjusted his cock, bunching nearby fabric into a makeshift sleeve, anything to give him that bit of contact he needed. As soon as he felt there was just enough pressure, he rushed his hand back to Kokichi's chest.

Kokichi was enrapt by the varied sensations, delighting in the way his loud pleasure quieted his ever-racing mind. He lifted his open legs, wanting to give himself entirely to Shuichi, to his perfect little mouth.

As Shuichi rubbed into Kokich's gorgeously firm nipples, he realized with a groan that in the process of positioning his cock, he had coated his fingers in precome. The same fingers that were now making Kokichi buckle and shout. He thought about how Kokichi must look from above, his eyes squeezing tight, biting his lip, overwhelmed with pleasure, and his abused redded chest, streaked with Shuichi's come. Shuichi's legs began to quake, hips moving rapidly. He couldn't come yet, he couldn't not without Kokichi, he needed to taste his come, needed Kokichi to finish inside of him.

He focused all of his attention onto Kokichi, wrapping his lips around him and sucking deeply, pulling Kokichi's cock in with strokes of his tongue. Shuichi flipped the tip of his tongue in the perfect spot, and suddenly, Kokichi thrust his hips up and crossed his ankles in the air. Before Shuichi could react, Kokichi pushed his heels down onto the back of Shuichi's head, forcing him onto his cock and completely cutting off his air.

With that, Shuichi couldn't wait anymore. He came, whimpering into Kokichi. He felt himself make a mess out of his comforter, come sputtering out. He tried to keep his mouth moving but struggled to push through the spasms. As if in response to his misbehavior, Kokichi grabbed Shuichi by his hair, gripping tightly with both hands, and Not wanting to leave Kokichi hanging, he stuck out his tongue and allowed Kokichi to rut against him.

Kokichi felt heat building: need on need. He tightened his grip as he pushed Shuichi's head faster. He wanted so much, felt so much. He looked down and as he saw Shuichi, beautiful Shuichi, pressed into him, so focused on his body. Kokichi couldn't help but come.

He released his grip, and his legs shook upwards. He didn't realize his screams could get so loud, that orgasm could be this intense. He rode out the spasms as long as he could until the sensitivity started to hurt, and he pulled up his legs and rolled onto his side, panting.

- - -

Kokichi kept his eyes closed as he attempted to catch his breath. He lay still and felt himself sink into the mattress. His limp body felt relaxed, but the wetness pooled between his legs was getting a bit icky. Moreover, naked atop the blankets, he was starting to feel cold. He stretched his legs back down and was surprised that he didn't bump into any limbs along the way. He smiled and rolled onto his back, ready to commend Shuichi on his excellent dodging skills, when he froze.

Shuichi wasn't there.

Of course he wasn't.

Why would he be, they were finished.

There wasn't anything else he would want to do with him. Kokichi felt himself shiver and wrapped his own arms around his chest. Kokichi then realized with a start that Shuichi likely wasn't finished with him. His mind flashed to few times he had failed to get a guy off to their liking, not fast enough, not hard enough. Kokichi heard his breath before he felt it; he was breathing rapidly, and the shivers had turned into shakes. He felt a familiar stab of pain in his chest.

This was the exact opposite of what he came here for; he was so pathetic. Kokichi bit into his lip and pressed his nails into his skin. Did he think something had changed? That suddenly Shuichi would see him as anything more than an easy fuck? So pathetic, what? He wanted to be held? Cuddled? Tears welled in his eyes. A freak like him should feel grateful someone like Shuich could stand to touch him, and he couldn't even do that right. He couldn't breathe.

This was worse than burning; he was drowning.

He messed it all up he messed it all up, and now Shuichi was gone.

- - -

Shuchi swore he heard sobs as he approached the bedroom door, fresh sheets in hand. But as he turned the knob, the only thing he could see was Kokichi, bright-eyed and looking no different from when he first entered Shuichi's apartment. In fact, Kokichi seemed to vibrate with energy, jumping forward onto his knees as he exclaimed. "Guess you really live up to your title there, huh Succi? Nishsihi ~ sowwy about all that!" Kokichi kept his hips in the air as he slunk his upper body onto the mattress, resting his weight on his elbows. Shuichi twitched as Kokichi's arms stretched dangerously close to the disgusting mess he really did Not want Kokichi noticing. Kokichi deepened his voice and looked up at Kokichi through his long lashes, spreading his legs further apart. "Now what do you want me to do for you? You can fuck me however you wanna, you know?"

Oh god, Kokichi's hand was about to touch Shuichi's-no please, god no. Shuichi quickly interjected, "Oh! Um, well, I actually think I'm good. And, uh," Shuichi motioned away from the sheets, "I think you should get off the bed."

Kokichi lay still for a moment before leaping off the bed and facing Shuichi with an unnervingly wide grin. "Mmmhmm! Okay! Well, like I said earlier, I'm tooottally fine getting fucked on the floor. I can get on my knees right now-"

Shuichi cut him off, not wanting to linger on the fact that his desperate barely-not-a-virgin ass had finished without even needing Kokichi to touch his cock. "That's really, uh, not necessary." God, Shuichi could barely stand to make eye contact with Kokichi. Shuichi was so fucking gross, how could Kokichi even stand it?

Shuichi began changing his sheets and so caught up mentally enumerating all the reasons why he was disgusting, it took him a minute to realize that Kokichi was unusually quiet. Before Shuichi could comment, Kokichi spun away from him and broke the silence.

"Well I've actually got another guy waiting up for me, so if you've had enough of my services, I'd like to get to my next appointment." Kokichi bent over to pick up his discarded clothing, dressing in fast, tight, motions.

Shuichi tried to keep his body from dropping with his heart. He struggled to hear over the intense ringing before remembering his conversation with Kaito. Kokichi couldn't go like this.

"Kokichi, wait, are you okay?" Shuichi barely managed to get the words out, in stark contrast to Kokichi, who quickly fired his response,

"Never better! But I'll be bad if I'm late and I think I've already been punished enough for one night, so if you'll excuse me Saihara."

This wasn't right, this was not how he wanted things to go. Kokichi couldn't be leaving; they hadn't even talked. Shuichi called out, "Kokichi, wait- wait!" Shuichi reached out to Kokichi and brushed against the crescent indents on the sides of his arms. The contact seemed to spur Kokichi forward, who moved even faster out the door and out of the apartment, picking up his coat along the way but not bothering to put it on. He slammed the door behind him and walked into the hallway, half-naked and alone.

[normanisource]

Ally Brooke Hernandez, 24, has a two-tone thing happening, with a black leather hat and skirt paired with a fuzzy pink sweater and pumps. Normani Kordei, 21, has accented herself with huge chrome hoop earrings and silver-dipped nails. Lauren Jauregui, 21, wears a lacy boho-chic blouse and carries her puppy, a rescue mutt named Leo. Then there’s Dinah Jane Hansen, 20, who peels off a trippy floral jacket to reveal a bright yellow tee that reads, in big block letters, “I’M A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE.”

Fifth Harmony used to tour malls like this: shopped from town to town, crammed between kiosks for tchotchkes and lit by department store signs. That was in 2013, less than a year after its lineup was now-famously chosen by Simon Cowell and Antonio “L.A.” Reid flipping through the headshots of X Factor contestants on the verge of washing out. The teens twice tried to christen themselves, but the first name (LYLAS, for “Love You Like a Sister”) was already in use, and the judges hated the second (1432, pager code for “I love you, too”), so Cowell asked viewers to submit ideas online. Rebranded Fifth Harmony, they took third place and stepped off the show into a joint deal with Reid’s Epic Records and Cowell’s Syco Music.

But those are all tales of an earlier era, before 2016, the group’s biggest year yet -- and the one that ended in shambles when, exhausted and unfulfilled, 5H lost Camila Cabello to a solo career. Last year’s 7/27 debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard 200, propelled by “Work From Home,” the first top 10 Billboard Hot 100 hit from a girl group in nearly a decade. But the acrimonious December split made even bigger news, with 5H accusing Cabello of quitting through her reps, and Cabello denying the accusations. It was... awkward.

“Try experiencing it,” retorts Jauregui when I volunteer as much. The rest of the group, as it so often does, rushes in to complete her thought. “I was literally going to say that,” Kordei quickly adds. “I get to sleep at night knowing we did everything in our power as friends, bandmates and human beings” to make it work. Then Hernandez: “You can’t change people.” And finally, Hansen: “Let’s just say we’re in a better place now -- there are no secrets in this circle.”

Jauregui admits she nearly threw up from anxiety before the downsized 5H’s first performance, at the People’s Choice Awards in January. But today, the members are quick to (literally) high-five each other as they talk about their ongoing 7/27 Tour, the first in which they’ve built in real downtime, and a third album, due later this year on Epic. “Honestly, in this very moment, we could not be happier,” says Hernandez with more assertiveness than the Pollyanna-ish cheer that’s her trademark. Their first new single as a foursome, “Down” -- a neon-edged dancehall bubbler featuring a warmly romantic verse from Gucci Mane (“Got me showing off my [engagement] ring like I’m Jordan”) -- reached No. 42 on the Hot 100. Meanwhile, Cabello’s “Crying in the Club,” which entered the charts two weeks earlier, peaked at No. 47. Both are still active on the Mainstream Top 40 list.

“Crying in the Club” is a wide-screen, Sia-style ballad and “Down” is an airy dance track, but the two have more in common than just a chart trajectory: They’re both grown-up songs for longtime professional “girls” now expected to be seductive women. The 5H video, which racked up 21.6 million views in two weeks, even seems to offer some sly commentary on this, with the group pulling up to a seedy motel and writhing on beds in separate rooms. But the women have come up with their own narrative for the lyrics, which came to them from “Work From Home” co-creators Ammo and DallasK, and include “You the type that I could bake for/’Cause baby, you know how to take that cake” -- as well as the chorus, “Long as you’re holding me down/I’m going to keep loving you down.”

“We dedicate it to each other,” says Hansen. “We’ve been together five years, so that message is powerful to us. We’ve been there for each other through ups and downs.” Hernandez hits her with an “Amen.”

The single is only a slice of what’s to come, because for the first time, 5H is co-writing its songs -- over half, in fact, of those destined for the new album. Since January, it has been holding songwriting camps between tour stops, mostly at Windmark Recording, just two miles from here. The group typically breaks into pairs, then takes turns with that day’s writers and producers like 5H alums Monsters & Strangerz and pop and R&B producers Harmony Samuels (Ariana Grande) and Sebastian Kole (Alessia Cara).

“It’s not like they came in at the end and started riffing,” says Leah Haywood of Dreamlab, which has two songs on the album. “We sat and wrote verses together, because they’re empowered women who want to be pushing the agenda.” Justin Bieber’s go-to hook man Poo Bear, who worked with Skrillex on a 5H session, adds, “I was pretty blown away. They were hungry and excited and seemed like they had a serious new point to prove.”

Those collaborators create “safe spaces,” says Jauregui, where they can try ideas without fear of judgment. But the world outside isn’t so cushy. Plenty of popular girl groups have lost members and carried on, but none have found more success. En Vogue withered commercially without Dawn Robinson. Destiny’s Child hit peak sales just before LeToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson were ousted. And the one Spice Girls album that followed the departure of Geri Halliwell was an abject flop.

One Direction provides a hopeful example -- Made in the A.M. handily outsold its predecessor even without Zayn Malik. But the industry is perhaps kinder to boy bands. As much as its music (and videos) might be maturing, 5H is dedicating itself to an idea almost radical in its innocence: that four pop stars are better off as a single group -- albeit with a name that, at this point, feels a bit silly. “The fans,” quips Hernandez, “are our fifth member.”

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, whose 15-year-old daughter Simone is “pretty tight” with Hansen, says 5H is “aspirational to so many young girls around the world.” He adds, “Once the drama [of Cabello’s exit] settles, instead of looking at it as a devastating loss, I look at it as an amazing opportunity for growth.”

We’re now inside, aprons on, at The Gourmandise School of Sweets & Savories. The women chat about how much they love SZA’s Ctrl as they pioneer new ways to Snapchat themselves, chopping scallions for quesadillas, charring tandoori-style chicken wings and deep-frying homemade potato chips. Overseen by a chef named Jamie, they share kitchen duties with an almost psychic ease -- except for the cookies. The plan is for everyone to pitch in on a batch of the classic chocolate-chip variety, and that’s how it starts. But then Jauregui asks for white chocolate, Hansen requests pretzels, and Hernandez wants her Texas pecans (she’s from San Antonio). Soon one mixing bowl becomes four, and Kordei is in the pantry foraging hazelnuts, Rice Krispies and almond extract.

It’s a cute metaphor for how 5H’s members are cultivating their independence not only from their corporate minders but from one another. It’s also woefully inadequate in addressing Jauregui’s personal journey during the last few months, starting with a declaration she defiantly slid into an open letter to Trump voters, which she wrote for Billboard in November: “I am a bisexual Cuban-American woman, and I am so proud of it ... I am proud to feel the whole spectrum of my feelings, and I will gladly take the label of ‘bitch’ and ‘problematic’ for speaking my mind.”

In March, Jauregui shared photos from a November “coming-out” shoot, as photographer Nicole Cartolano characterized it to MTV, with her then-girlfriend Lucy Vives (daughter of Colombian singer Carlos Vives). Her sexual identity has since cropped up in her music. Jauregui briefly made an appearance on the Hot 100 as a guest on Halsey’s “Strangers,” which, as a duet about an it’s-complicated same-sex romance, has inspired more than a few think pieces.

Jauregui’s openness speaks not only to the accepting nature of 5H but also to the potential for a mainstream girl group in an era where many minorities feel under attack. 5H is still a place for purity rings. Hernandez is wearing a “TRUE LOVE WAITS” band. She and Kordei identify as Christian, while Hansen is Mormon. But all insist Jauregui’s expression is “supported.” And Jauregui, who believes in “the universe and a god source, like an energy,” seems content with this. But asked if she would be comfortable singing about a relationship with a woman in a 5H song, she says she doesn’t know, “because it has to do with me personally. It doesn’t speak for everyone in the group, which is its own entity as an artist. That’s the whole reason for doing your own thing.”

Kordei has recently added a new chapter to her story, too. She competed on Dancing With the Stars this past spring, returning to a childhood passion. “I grew up dancing competitively and being in pageants, and my grandma made all my costumes and dresses. I remember watching the show on the couch with her, and she’d pause the TV to create sketches based off what she saw,” she says. Kordei and her partner, Val Chmerkovskiy, finished third, which is all the more impressive when you consider that for the first three weeks she flew to the Los Angeles tapings direct from 5H’s Asia tour, popping melatonin on the plane and chugging coffee (a new habit) before doing the cha-cha.

Hernandez recently dropped a summery song with DJ duo Lost Kings and A$AP Ferg. She also clocked a writing session with Christian country-folk singer Cindy Morgan and touts the acting career she plans to launch this year. Hansen has an unreleased RedOne cut featuring Fetty Wap and French Montana, and she loves tennis and jokes about becoming a volleyball star. “I’m at a place where I’m continuing to identify myself,” she says. In other words: find her part in what could become a multidisciplinary 5H empire.

“Last year, we all learned a lesson about mental health and making sure you step away from something. It just makes this stronger,” says Jauregui. “Fifth Harmony is the home base,” offers Kordei, “where we always come back.” “Yasss,” says Hernandez.

Of course, when your break from work is more work, there isn’t much room for, like, life. They all describe their days as a “blur,” and Hansen says she doesn’t know “what vacation means.” For those who keep asking: No, Kordei still hasn’t had a chance to go on that date with DWTS’ Bonner Bolton. And in a quiet moment in the kitchen, Hernandez confesses that there’s nothing she wants more than to get married. But the women don’t even have homes apart from their families -- the houses would sit empty.

It was only 14 months ago, in the middle of my interview with the group for its first Billboard cover, that the same four sitting here broke down in tears detailing the extent of their fatigue and stress. “Jesus Christ, dark times,” recalls Jauregui, and they didn’t let up. The same day Cabello’s exit was announced, there was a leak of what seemed to be a recording of Jauregui telling Hernandez the band was treated like “literal slaves.” “I don’t know where that [audio] came from,” says Jauregui, “but that’s what the game does to you sometimes: runs you dry.” But it was a bit more than that.

“We were little girls coming off of a TV show and had a team of people trying to sculpt us into something we weren’t,” says Hansen. “They took advantage, like, ‘Get in there and record this, you thing,’ ” says Jauregui.

“If you’re told you can’t do something when there’s a creative desire to do it, that’s depressing,” says Geri Horner -- nee Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice -- who just released her first single in 12 years. “Spice Girls always wrote our own stuff, but I can relate to that.”

The long road to liberation began with 5H hiring outspoken music lawyer Dina LaPolt at the end of 2015. “I sat the girls in a hotel conference room and for five hours educated them on trademarks, copyrights and rights of publicity,” says LaPolt, who soon helped secure them new management with the preeminent firm Maverick (Madonna, U2, Miley Cyrus). “Then I educated them about every agreement they signed, which [were] the worst I’ve ever seen in the music business.”

LaPolt successfully transferred the Fifth Harmony trademark from Cowell to the group, meaning the women now own the name, along with the right to control how it is used and to profit from any deals. (The agreement -- signed in April 2016, months ahead of Cabello’s exit -- doesn’t name Cabello in the “Fifth Harmony Partnership.” “I don’t represent Camila,” is all LaPolt will say.) She then renegotiated 5H’s contract with Epic, which she characterized as “a very adversarial” process.

LaPolt and 5H stress that the group’s relationship with Epic is now good. The women count among their “saviors” the label’s senior vp A&R Chris Anokute, who came onboard near the end of making 7/27. (Reid left Epic in May amid sexual-harassment allegations.) “We raised our voices,” says Hansen, “and to have someone in our corner like Chris, who believes in us, is the most important element to make the wheels go.”

Which allows 5H to meet the challenges of being Women of Pop in the late 20-teens. Rihanna, Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and Lorde have all shown how much artistry, agency and album-building matter. Basically, the band needs to pursue the authenticity Cabello secured by going it alone. The challenge is not only doing that in a group, but also while relying on familiar themes, like girl power, diversity, body positivity and inclusion.

Jauregui is the first to admit she was scared about 5H’s future without Cabello. “We’d put blood, sweat and tears -- and birthdays and funerals we missed -- into this thing,” she says. “It’s our livelihoods and our families.’ This is the train, and now you’re like, ‘Is the conductor going to come through with the coals, or are we left here to die?’ ”

Hernandez says there were “many therapy sessions.” Hansen, at least, quit worrying when they released their first press photo as a quartet and everyone, including Ellen DeGeneres, started editing themselves into the frame, “trying to recruit themselves into the squad.” Which raises the question: Have they considered bringing in a new member? They answer in unison: “Heeeell naaaw!”