#also she is scene in my mind forever. my mind cannot be changed about this

[haloheadhater]

Who gave Kab the bat pant

[actual-changeling]

if god did not want me to over-analyse a two second video clip she would not have given me video editing software, so welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner with me, alex, as your host.

we're going off the deep end with this one.

let's have a look at a. well, you cannot really call it a scene at this point. more of a collection of frames - aziraphale's face right after crowley leaves but before the bell above the door rings. this has been on my list of metas to write anyway, but someone kindly pointed it out which gave me incentive to make this post.

now, my leading theory is that much like his mouth movement before saying "i forgive you", which looked and sounded a lot like the beginning of "i love you", aziraphale is mouthing a silent "don't". presumably, the complete sentence would have been "don't leave".

first things first, why do i think he would say it? well, if you look back at their breakup in the park in season one, aziraphale calls him back when he says he will leave.

"you can't leave, crowley, there isn't anywhere to go".

then, after the fucking mess that is "nothing lasts forever", aziraphale also calls out. "come back". it is also perfectly in line with his previous behaviour to try and keep crowley from leaving again. especially because he almost tells the metatron he will stay just a few minutes later.

some other important things to keep in mind: aziraphale is shaking and about to cry, and also probably still in shock. so his face is doing a number of things and any words he may or may not mouth are slightly skewed due to that.

the first few frames are him taking a breath, so far so good.

this is the part where it looks like he is about to say something and silently begins to mouth don't. if you pay very close attention to his lips, you can see that they get pushed forward just a little bit as one does when saying "do".

you can try it yourself to confirm, i certainly did several times while rewatching the same two seconds like an absolutely sane person.

the last few frames are him closing his mouth again and breaking off whatever he was going to say, but in my opinion, you can still see the ending of that "don't".

alex, you might ask, how do you know that's what he was trying to say? i don't, although i hope once the strike ends someone will ask michael sheen some much needed questions. however, i wouldn't be a scientist if i didn't have evidence to present nevertheless.

i compared two of the frames from above, one from the "do" part and one from the "nt" part with another instance of michael/aziraphale saying "don't" - "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you".

the mouth shape and the movement of his facial muscles looks very similar even taking the whole sobbing and crying business into account.

interestingly enough, once the bell does ring, signaling that crowley has left the store, he not only closes his mouth but also physically steps back even more. he almost says "don't leave", restrains himself by physically pulling back, and then inches even farther from the door.

that is also when his face shifts from completely openly heartbroken to angry/spiteful and heartbroken.

the camera angle changes a little bit but not enough to explain the discrepancy, so yes, he steps backward before turning away and touching his lips. that pillar is honestly a very helpful point of reference. also completely unrelated but the face he makes at the end cracks me up it is LITERALLY >:(

to summarize: someone get michael sheen on the fucking phone before i lose my mind. also you can pry this meta from my dead, cold hands, he almost said "don't leave" and i will die on this hill.

lastly, said two second clip at half speed if you want to have a look for yourself.

[bridgertonandchocolate]

Top Polin moments from part 1. I can't put them in any particular order because I really LOVED ALL of them. Truly. But there is obviously a top favorite. If it's not everyone's #1 I don't know what you've been watching.

Carriage. Need we say more?! This is the top Polin moment of part 1. The way I finished the season around 6:30 in the morning and then proceeded to watch the carriage scene over and over for about an hour straight before I had to leave for work. They told us we weren't ready and they were right. I'm still not ready and I must have watched it hundreds of times. The rollercoaster of emotions from the anger and desperation to the despair to pure love and laughing together. Not to mention I think this has to be one of the longest Bridgerton love scenes (besides Simon and Daphne's honeymoon probably). It was the hottest make-out sesh followed by some special finger time I've ever seen. The way that you know they're both gonna be kinky too. The hair tugging and smirk. The AFTERCARE. Good god. I can't. It's fantastic. The way you can see in Colin's eyes that he's like "she's my wife now and forever" before he climbs out of the carriage. He's like maybe I should ask her lol. This will be my favorite scene of Bridgerton forever until part 2 comes out probably and then it might get topped.

Now in no particular order:

2. Cake. I really want to know what was going through Luke Newton's mind when he was watching her lick icing off her fingers. Because...the boy was hungry. You can't tell me he wasn't thinking about just how her mouth tastes but other parts too. You know he was. Also throwback to season 1 when Marina told Pen babies basically came from cake lol. And then Colin bought the same cake just to taste what she tasted and he LICKED HIS FINGER just like her and then looked at her. Like...bro be more subtle please.

3. "Shall we gallop on?" The two of them laughing together is something I absolutely ADORE about them. Colin and his dad jokes. I don't find dad jokes funny unless they're coming from Colin Bridgerton's mouth and obviously so does Pen. Even in the market when they giggle about their first meeting. PLEASE. Giving me life. The other two couples were too serious for me. This couple DGAF about propriety. Obviously.

4. Drawing Room Lesson and Cutting of the Hand. From beginning to end. Another rollercoaster of emotion. The fact that Pen no longer feels comfortable in Bridgerton House (like bitch you belong there don't even) to Colin's hand on her back. Had to rewind that a few times in the initial watch. And then he's setting the scene pretending they're at a ball and telling her to flirt with him. The eyes. A confession that's not really a confession from Pen. Colin rushing her out of the room. Her reading the journals (naughty Pen) and then we know what happens. He literally holds her hand. You cannot convince me he doesn't curve his fingers against hers to pull her in.

5. First Kiss. Perfect in every way. It's a moment I loved in the book and it was nearly identical and I loved seeing it play out on screen. The quick peck. The going back in for seconds and thirds. The hand lingering on her face. The way you can see he's fundamentally changed. GAH!

6. The Dream. I want to know what other dreams Colin's had because it seems like there was definitely more than one because he said he prefers sleep to being awake so....there's definitely more than what we were graced with. The way he pushed her up against the door frame. Good Lord Colin.

Honorable mentions: literally every other Polin moment. The savior moment with the balloon. The first lesson while promenading and then again in the market when she thinks she can't be taught and he's like "you already know what you're doing babe." Post kiss under the willow tree. Colin's conversation with Mama Bridgerton even though Pen wasn't super involved. It was magnificent. Colin getting interrupted by Debling when he wants to ask Pen if she feels the same way and he just can't help but stare at her lips and totally forget what he came there to do. Pen literally looked at him scared that he was about to eat her face. And then him sad and depressed watching them dance like he just lost his wife.

[soulfulazrael]

The new Amazing Digital Circus episode is probably the most painful so far

Despite other episodes having their own fair share of sad moments and those that felt rather painful like one with Gumigoo being popped or with Kinger. I think this one hit me the closest because of how it was written. And I think the best example of it was this moment

I feel like a lot of people probably can tell this feeling. And I must say this was handled very tastefully. It definitely felt respectful and it reminded me of times I had This happen to me. It's a place I've been, I don't want to return to and I know I will return to.

It's been lots of places like that. Like when I failed college. I kept failing my driving exam. I lost a job. My grandma lost more and more of her mind before she died. Seeing family members die. Always going somewhere away and letting those bursts in those small moments (sometimes I screamed so loud and hard I went blind for a moment) all the while you harbor that feeling of being worthless. Like you are dragging everyone down. Like your mere presence is like poison to others. Those are feelings I know. And it makes me feel really terrible for Gangle.

And that moment with the truck... it was also familiar.

That sudden moment of joy and happiness over something. Small feeling of freedom. Of fulfillment... and then you want to throw yourself under a car. That is also familiar. Because those small bursts of joy or happiness do not solve a problem. They are something you also let out and then you go back to feeling terrible. You cannot be free from this. Not really. Not like this.

I am still going through such issues. I want to go to psychologist. Maybe get some help for what is going on with me. But I feel a lot of pain from watching this episode because I felt every moment of it somewhere in the back of my mind.

But... those moments and that feeling. It doesn't last forever. It never does. I did get a job... before losing it again, but I keep trying. I and many other of my family are still here and I love them. I finally passed my driving exam. I went far in my new school. I do accomplish things. I do something good and worthwhile... At least I hope so. I still fail and I will keep failing, but I will keep doing something well... I hope.

Life is never steady like this. It never gives you such consistency. There is no blessing of that. Both good and bad times eventually end and change. Life always changes and best you can do is go with it's flow. The most important part is, is to not get stuck in a moment of when the life gets low because it will go back up. It's a path that will never stay one way forever. And that's okay. What's important is how you handle what life gives you.

Okay. This went a bit sad. But I have some funny trivia to share too!

In Polish dub. Gangle makes a reference to a very good Polish movie named "Dzień Świra" or "Day of the Mad Man" in English. A movie about unfulfilled poet who is very bitter and hates his life and everyone around him. It's a very fitting reference. It's a hilarious movie that spawned a lot of memes in Poland.

Translation -> This is my own Day of the Mad Man

Translation -> And I am about to roll out a sequel for you!!

Pretty hilarious reference

The movie is really good BTW. But in Polish

Also in Polish dub at the end Caine was about to say "Jestem Zajebisty" where "Zajebisty" is a curse word meaning "Fucking awesome" and he starts glitching in that moment. That was funnier than OG I must say. This is really one of those GREAT Polish Dubs. Also Gangle's VA in Polish Dub absolutely killed that scene I mentioned first in this post.

Hope this was an interesting read. A bit of personal one for me. This episode hurt, but it also gave me some level of comfort and I appreciate it a lot. It's definitely my favorite episode so far and I hope Gangle will get better. As I hope I will too. Also Jax suffering brings me life.

[deus-sema]

Here is how I would have fixed the Haunted House plotline without regressing the characters in s2. Though if I had my way then the entire show would be different but never mind.

If they really wanted to give Daemon a reason to feel conflicted about his relationship with Rhaenyra which could be preyed on by Harrenhal then they could have really opted for a different route than "Does Daemon love her or does he want da throne?" which is painfully redundant.

There is a proverbial elephant in the room which could have been used to create friction between Daemon and Rhaenyra on the show: Laenor. Yes, we fans might have accepted that they married according to Valyrian customs but in the eyes of the rest of the Realm, their marriage stands only because Laenor is believed to be "dead" which he isn't. They could have planted the seeds for it in s1 by having Daemon and Rhaenyra worry about Laenor and the possibility of his return even after they had a happy marriage of 6 years, because the results would be disastrous for them both: Their marriage will be deemed invalid, their sons will become bastards and Rhaenyra's claim will receive a major blow. Afterall, logically, they cannot trust Laenor to stay away forever. Then, in Episode 10, instead of that stupid choking scene, they could have had Daemon and Rhaenyra argue about the usage of dragons and have Rhaenyra say something on the lines of Seasmoke being of no use to them because his rider still lives only for Daemon to go all like,"Don't worry about that. It's already been taken care of." This could have led to the revelation that Daemon had Laenor assassinated in Essos which could have caused the first cracks in their relationship. Because Laenor's escape was something the two of them had planned together and he went behind her back to commit this act. Daemon could have rationalized it then by stating all reasons why Laenor needed to die for their good. It also won't be out of character because Laenor's murder is one of the crimes Daemon was actually suspected of in the books.

Flash forward to S2 when they have their argument after B&C and she tells him she doesn't trust him completely. It would hit harder because this is the second time he acted without her leave.Then, in Harrenhal, we could still have Daemon be haunted but instead of "da throne and crown", he has to battle his regret over breaking Rhaenyra's trust and guilt over Laenor's murder because he was family. Meanwhile, he could have donned a calm and composed exterior as he succesfully raises an army and plans a strategy for there was no need to change that subplot from the book while Harrenhal did a number on him behind closed doors.

It would kill two birds with one stone. Give Daemyra a reason to be mad at each other without regressing Daemon's character back to the throne and tied up the loose end left by Laenor's departure leaving Seasmoke to be smoothly claimed by Addam without butchering the lore.

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 6/9/2024

I have so much to say this week! I usually take some very quick notes as to what I want to say in these as I listen to stuff, but this week I have a ton of notes. Also, I made a Tumblr Community for audiodramas. If you want an invite, please ask me! Also, if you can figure out how to reblog posts into a community, which is supposedly a thing you can do, please tell me.

To start off, season 16 of Lost Terminal started this week. It feels great to be back in this world, this show is so cozy. I love the little programming tidbits in this show, as a nerdy programmer into conlangs and hard scifi this show feels like it was made for me specifically. It looks like the premise for this season is an entire season that takes place over 10 seconds, which is such an incredibly cool idea. I love how they are leaning into the relative time different between humans and AIs due to processing speed.

@worldsbeyondpod had so many crazy moments I have to talk about. First off *music change* "roll a stealth check for the fox" out of nowhere was terrifying. I truly felt Erika's gasp when Brennan said the words "patchy corduroy witch hat". I haven't even gotten to the biggest moment in this episode. Holy shit poor Straw. This story has so much moral nuance, I'm obsessed with @quiddie's defense of Suvi on tumblr since the last episode. Speaking of Aabria, "fuck your scene" was so perfect. Finally, Glassheart moment spotted at the end of the episode. Even though it will never happen, I will forever be a Glassheart shipper.

@worldgonewrongpod this week was very fun. It is weird that I was picturing a specific tree at a small local park I walk through all the time whenever the tree was being described? I cannot unlink that tree and this episode in my mind. The reenacted council meeting was great, I'm excited for the update to this episode at the end of the season. Also, I'm not sure I've said this yes, but the theme song for this show is perfect. I've already added it to my playlist.

@wanderersjournalpod ended on a cliffhanger this week. Are we finally going to learn Pluto's whole deal next week? I can't wait to find out.

@midstpodcast that was a hell of an opening scene. This whole episode showed such an interesting side of Weep. I want to avoid spoilers for this show, but that ending god damn. That is not what I expected. We must be getting close to the end of the season, they resolved the opening scene and the episodes are getting much longer. Looking at the lengths of the previous season, there's probably 2 more episodes.

A very short update from my dear friend over at @re-dracula this week. Renfield is so unsettling. I don't actually know anything about Renfield, so I'm learning as I go. I think he's some sort of vampire spawn?

@breakerwhiskey I caught up and what the fuck. This show keeps twisting the knife. Hey, at least Birdie is finally talking in real time again. She confirmed Whiskey's theory, which is nice, and finally gave us her backstory. Then the second reveal in a later episode, holy shit Harry. This really explains the whole dynamic between Whiskey and Harry. This was the big fight Whiskey keeps referencing.

I listened to the first episode of season 2 of Skyjacks Courier's Call. The city that it's going to be set in is really cool, and I loved the Fun Money shenanigans. Going on a road trip tomorrow and I'm going to listen to a lot more of it.

Finally, there was a new SCP: Find Us Alive this week. This was a cool episode, I really liked the art show. But the big thing was the very end of this episode. My theory was right! Sometimes, when talking into the mic, Harley was subject to the memetic effect and forgot what he was talking about. But only sometimes. They've established that it only happens if someone can hear you. This meant that every time he forgot, someone was listening! Great foreshadowing!

Because of the aforementioned road trip, I'm going to post this a few hours early. This is at least better than my usual time of "forgetting it until the last moment."

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "favor the bold" and "sacrifice of angels."

favor the bold:

worf rescuing dax during these wartime bits is EXTREMELY sweet. i think this is like 2 or 3 times now? he loves her 🥺

i love all the big cgi shots of all the different ships...i feel like i could look at those forever just noticing the various differences

quark in this episode......................

quark e kira in charge of breaking rom out. quark/kira. QUARK/KIRA! odo who? he sucks. fuck odo.

i don't mean it. i'm actually going to try as hard as i can to forgive him because it would be too exhausting to hate him until the end of the series. but FUCK ODO!!! kira doesn't need him...quark is right there...

like, odo being busy in his room fucking the mommy changeling or whatever while rom was in JAIL and kira and odo weren't allowed to see him!!!! fuck off

THE BRIG SCENE???? where rom my king rom was like. like quark was fucking. TRYING TO COMFORT HIM? and rom was just like. brother you cannot save me from execution you've got to focus on saving everyone else first. and quark was like what the fuck is wrong with you. and then proceeded to save everyone else first???

AND THEN. HE FOOLED? DAMAR? INTO THINKING HE WAS ON HIS SIDE?

kira was also in amazing form this episode. first of all, her fucking beating damar to a pulp and daring him to do anything about it. her getting ziyal to finally turn on her dad. and most of all telling odo to sit on it and spin. literally go fuck your mother. she's amazing

nog!!! nog's little promotion. wah. about time.

sacrifice of angels:

WORMHOLE ALIENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm actually really nervous about it cuz sisko was like bajor is my home when i retire when i go home it's gonna be to bajor and they were like you will never find peace in bajor :)

it was still really cool to see them again though. i'm fucking obsessed

and like...imagine being kira, or any bajoran. and you work with sisko for five years and he's like man cmon im not jesus. stop treating me like im jesus. i dont believe in that shit. and then he goes into the wormhole to face down 2800 enemy ships and vaporizes them with his mind. buddy you're not beating the jesus allegations anytime soon or like ever

QUARK IN THIS EPISODE ALSO. everything up to him because everyone else got thrown in jail for being rom sympathizers. him kidnapping ziyal for help was brilliant. they made a good team for .5 seconds. i love also that he 1. murdered two guys 2. freaked the fuck out about it, which is exactly what he did in that one episode with the klingon lady

also, QUARK E KIRA!!!! "i'd kiss you quark but" NO! KISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!

ziyal......girl, rip. she got there in the end i guess. but holy shit, i didn't realize damar had it in him. if im being honest im glad they killed her and not rom, it looked dangerously close to heading that way i know i checked up on him on memory alpha but STILL

what was really fun about it was dukat snapping. that wasn't where i saw his arc going but him totally losing it and then giving sisko back the baseball vs sisko triumphantly taking the baseball back...wow. that prop held so much weight over these 6 episodes and i was wondering how it was gonna pay off and it paid off REAL good

odo's change of heart.....................................

look. in theory, i LOVE him having a struggle and coming down on the side of the federation because of, primarily, kira. i just think his "betrayal" came out of nowhere, he was instantly telling this mommy changeling all his deepest secrets and then linking with her without any lead up or build up. if he had been struggling beforehand, if he had still been human and wanted it taken away from him, this i would understand. but his "betrayal" had no meat to it, so his change of heart doesn't feel very meaningful either. so like i want to care but i don't.

that said, when she asked why he changed his mind and he said "i think you know the answer" that was. pretty good. that was pretty good. it makes me hopeful that odo and i can get past this very rough place in our relationship :(

TONIGHT: finally back to voyager to catch up on all the voyager we skipped to watch ds9 three nights in a row. we got "day of honor" and "nemesis," for realsies this time

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hi welcome backk :] I’m currently hyperfixating on art history + Tuvok so here’s some Renaissance - 19th century paintings that I think Tuvok (especially Tuvok the way you characterize him :) would serve cunt in: Fra Fillippo Lippi - Madonna With Child Enthroned With Two Angels, Georges de La Tour - The Penitent Magdalen, John Singer Sargent - Madame X (Madame Pierre Gautreau) (bonus points cuz of the history of the painting) Thank you for your time :)

Sketches! Thoughts on each Below (I don't know art history)

Madame X: The difference between the woman's very pale skin and the deep black of her dress is striking. She's also the only thing really in frame - even the background is just a color. Looking back on it I wish I'd chosen a different color for the background so Tuvok's skin looked more striking. If I redo this I definitely will since her skin being the only 'pale' thing is part of what (to me) makes her so immediately striking. Currently in my piece that 'point of interest' has become the white robes which wasn't my intention. But the fact that they're so fancy makes it seem like it might be, hehe...if this was an assignment for a class or something I'd definitely lie and say it was. Anyway since Tuvok has dark skin I didn't want to keep the clothes black since to me it wouldn't have the same 'Madame X' appeal. So I changed his robes to be white to contrast his skin and also made them less revealing because I don't think Tuvok wears very revealing outfits....usually very covered up and layered. So again I wanted to change the appeal - you can't really see any part of his body so you focus on the face instead, even though the face isn't focusing on you. I picture this as a younger version of Tuvok at some sort of function. The 'bunny ears' at the top of his head mimic Madame X's hairpin(?) but also bring to mind a Vulcan Priestess.

The Penitent Magdalene: Tuvok's most associated color (to me) being purple made this drawing again a bit ... mmm -tilts hand so so- The red in the originally really warmed the piece and was very eye catching. There was more of a sense of the candle's glow. I thought about using his security yellow but I thought it'd be too samey with the golds and browns and I wanted to signify that this is a private, personal moment. I drew this while thinking about the scene where Tuvok places a candle in his window for Kes after her ascension. Quiet mourning. We don't see his face because he's Vulcan and it's assumed he's struggling with emotion. Even the mirror doesn't show his face - it shows the candle, symbolic of his affection for Kes and his grief at her having gone. It burns bright. On the floor is his Starfleet badge, pointing him out but useless. This visage of dark and quiet sorrow is cut through slightly by light from the next and last piece. Madonna with Child, Two Angels: Of course Tuvok's angels and his children are one in the same. In the original piece, the child is able to touch its mother but in this one she's just out of reach. Tuvok is similarly not looking at or embracing the child - in this piece it's because he cannot. He's too far from her, from all of them! He is instead praying (as they do in canon) to return safely to them. Tuvok looks more tired in this one and he's wearing the neck ruffle thing that the monk he was sent to as a teenager wore. I'm using it here as like a nun's habit but also as like 'he's remembering another time his faith was utterly destroyed and he was able to rebuild it'. Forever thinking about the throwaway line in 'Innocence' where he says he USED to believe in katra but RECENTLY struggles to. I wonder if this is because he's alone, without family. To believe in katra would be somewhat frightening under those circumstances. You can say 'Janeway would just take it' but I'm sure it's more complicated and fraught for Tuvok himself. Anyway, I turned the halo into a part of the headscarf he's wearing (some sort of ornate accessory) and the mischievous/joyful angel in the original is now Elieth who looks accusatory, as if we're keeping him and his siblings from their father. The spark in the middle of the drawing is ... well it's their connection and all that stems from it. Both joy and sorrow at remembering, having had. This is why it also 'cuts through' them - separating them. It's also why I incorporated it slightly into the above piece as they deal with similar themes. I hope this was satisfactory! Thank you!

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Steps Into Shadow"

Everything is all shaken up for Season Three, let's go.

So I know I said I really like it when shows change up the Status Quo but...

Some of the changes took a bit of getting used to in Season Three. I'll admit it.

(It's the hair, Ezra's hair took getting used to, I believe my exact reaction was, "Nooooooo not the cute shaggy shonen protagonist hair!" I'm okay with it now and it's hella easier to draw but it was a bit of a mourning period.)

So! Season Three begins six months after the end of Season Two. Everyone has had a cosmetic upgrade. They're all older. Ezra is seventeen. *cries*

Ezra had his seventeenth birthday offscreen while he and Kanan were not on speaking terms.

*sobbing forever*

Anyway we open In Media Res with the Spectres (minus Kanan) pulling off a jailbreak.

Oh it is absolutely not a coincidence that our first sight of Ezra this season has him bathed in shadow.

Sabine and Ezra casually bantering mid-mission and Ezra being seamlessly badass. <3

That cute little fond smile of Ezra's when he sees Hondo. T_T

Ohhhh I remember when people were freaking out over just how casually Ezra shoots this Stormtrooper with a blaster very obviously not set to stun. It's such a contrast from "Stealth Strike" in which he promises not to hurt any of them. He's taken some parts of Maul's words to heart, sadly, and now he's acting like a proper soldier in a war.

Ouch.

Don't mind me appreciating Ezra and Sabine's brief battle tag-teaming moment here.

As if the Luke parallels were not strong enough, Ezra's new lightsaber--after a harrowing fight against Darth Vader in which he lost his other one--is green. And sue me, I love his green lightsaber, it's my favorite.

Also a big fan of how Ezra demolishes this whole hallway of Stormtroopers by himself. He doesn't even blink.

"Is that really Ezra?" "Most of the time." The meaning behind this exchange is ambiguous and there are plural interpretations. I think Sabine is referring to how utterly serious he is, no stopping, no delays, all-business. We only really saw him banter and smile with the others when on their way in, once the reinforcements arrived it was all go time.

It really isn't Ezra's fault that Terba got killed. But Ezra's Hero Complex, Guilt Complex, and sense of hyper-responsibility are all colliding and making him take the blame on himself for not having complete 100% control of the situation, also why he snaps at Hera later for griping about just that.

Never not gonna love Ezra as leader with Sabine as his competent lieutenant. <3

The Force Theme goes creepily off-tune here. This is NOT a Jedi Mind Trick. This is Force Dominate and yes, it is a Dark Side power.

This scene is deliberately uncomfortable. It's almost like possession, like Ezra using the AT-DP pilot like a meat puppet.

Sabine looking Very Concerned as she watches what Ezra does here. :)

There's just a moment where they hold on the shots of the AT-DP's legs and Ezra's feet, juuuuuuust to give you enough time to comprehend the horror.

"When did Kanan teach you that?" There's just a smidge of discomfort in Sabine's voice here, she knows full well that's not something normal.

Ezra's "I did what I had to do." here is a bit needlessly defensive, Hera didn't offer any commentary in judgement at all, he's just instinctively already verbally flinching about it because he knows it was wrong.

We can already see the effects of Malachor on Ezra, he's angrier than usual and bristles at Hera's criticism.

"Ah the fiery spirit of youth, eh?" "It's not all bad." Hera looks so SAD here. :( There's so much unspoken sorrow. You can hear a certain frustration and helplessness.

Cut to Ezra having the expected angst session in his room. The holocron, sensing his anger, lights up, making his cadet helmet (the one Sabine painted for him, that's supposed to represent a sense of safety) look creepily demonic.

"You can see things clearly your friends cannot." Ohhhhh you absolute bitch, that specific turn of phrase is meant to dig at Ezra's guilt over Kanan's blindness isn't it? Ezra even repeats it. "They can't see..." This scene here, his speech, is the lynchpin of his entire experiment with the Dark Side; his guilt over Malachor is eating him up and like Anakin before him he's resolved to never let it happen again. So he must become stronger, more powerful. His fear of further loss--his attachment--is leading him down the same dangerous path.

It hurts so good, it's such good angst.

THERE SHE IS, MY FAVORITE FABULOUS BITCH.

She's awful. I love her. <3

The entire crew being so Done with Hondo lol.

Heeeeeeey remember how I talked about how a large part of Rebels the show is how the Ghost crew in particular helps put the Alliance together piece by piece, ship by ship?

Yeah these are the Y-wings that take part in the Battle of Yavin.

Sato promoting Ezra, awwwww. The sheer respect these two have now. Sabine and Zeb are very happy for him and Hera says Kanan would be too and ow ow ow the lined hurt in Ezra's face when he points out that Kanan is never around anymore.

The man himself has grown a Sadness!Beard and is in such inner turmoil that it's woken the Bendu, whose voice we hear calling to him.

I really feel for Hera, trying to mediate between her two Jedi, who are both hurting and both avoiding each other, the frustration and anguish she must feel.

Perhaps nudged by her words Kanan does try to pay Ezra a visit to talk... aaaaaaaand immediately discovers the open holocron.

Ohhh this conversation hurts. Ezra's so angry and hurt by Kanan seemingly abandoning him and all Kanan can think about is protecting him from the holocron's influence and he must feel like such a failure as a teacher, especially when Ezra yells about how he doesn't need Kanan.

:((((

Rebels says vehicle registrations and tolls are tyranny lol.

Right so, mistake number one: Running instead of playing cool. The Alliance does have a small amount of funds and they could easily forge a ship registration. Give the Mining Guild fake credentials, pay the fee, and they could have bought enough time to deflect suspicion for an hour maybe.

Yeah the krykna aren't any less creepy.

Hi Bendu!

The Bendu is an interesting addition to the lore. He seems in the vein of the Mortis Gods, an ancient entity in tune with the Force, though the normal rules of such don't apply to him. He's a neutral party, possibly representative of the spirit of nature, which is neither Light nor Dark it just is. His True Neutral alignment would later be challenged by Kanan but for now he seems a helpful ally, offering to assist Kanan learn how to "see" through the Force. (I do like to joke that he's trying to get all the Force noise to calm down so he can go back to sleep.)

Mixed feelings on how Kanan's blindness is handled. Would have liked to see more of a recovery/coping arc, but a lot of the little subtle hints and nods they do in later episodes are really effective at showing how he's adapted. And then there are the odd moments where Rebels writers forget he's blind entirely. So there's some room for improvement.

Also he should have been allowed to make some blind jokes. DON'T @ ME THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN HILARIOUS.

Ezra: "No witnesses! 😠" Sabine: "Dude WTF?" Love how even though his Dark Side tendencies concern and worry her she's not afraid to push back at him.

Kanan assumes the "source of unbalance" he's carrying is the Sith holocron and confesses his fears that it's corrupting Ezra. The Bendu claims, "An object cannot make you good or evil.", explaining how it's one's mindset that determines that.

Which I mean, point, buuuuuuuut this is also a fictional universe in which the traces of Sith ghosts stuck in soul jars can literally possess you sooooo...

Anyway the scenes of Bendu teaching Kanan how to "see" through the Force are amazing. 10/10 no complaints. Will comment on things as I go just to point them out.

For starters, how about the panic and fear in Kanan when Bendu destroys the sensor beacon? And his angry hopeless, "I can't see anything! Not anymore."?

MEANWHILE WITH THE IMPERIAL DOOM SQUAD:

*ANGELIC CHORUS*

Hello my favorite blue bastard.

The first hint of Kallus's changed allegiance is here with this vaguely accusatory comment about civilian deaths outnumbering insurgent deaths at Batonn, which Thrawn was promoted for. Pryce calls them "acceptable margins". Timothy Zahn would later reveal in the first new canon Thrawn book that it was her who detonated the bombs that killed everyone. For the moment I will refrain from commenting on his concerning habit of retconing things to absolve Thrawn of anything bad ever and just respond with the appropriate amount of disgust at Pryce.

Always loved the cool effect where everything except Thrawn's red eyes fade out.

Mistake number two: Not calling Hera to tell her, "Hey the Empire is scrapping the bombers literally as we speak." and asking for advice. Hera probably would have consulted Sato and the combined brainpower could have come up with a better plan than "Charge in recklessly and scoop them up against orders without further observation or research."

Even Rex, who backs Ezra up later, thinks they should tell Hera about it first.

"That's an order!" Ouch, Ezra, that is the most insensitive thing you could have said to a former clone trooper.

Ezra's need for control over every possible variant situation (to prevent himself from suffering further loss) is actively making things worse for the mission, not better. He is showing a distinct lack of trust in the command structure, and an almost possessive need to keep his team safe and under his direction.

No one comments on his bossing them around though, not even Sabine, and into the maelstrom they go.

Hi Brom Titus!

Rex still showing a very slight deathseeker tendency.

Sabine's been taking notes from Hera on flying a ship with no power, clearly, lol.

This cue right here is going to come back later in the climax of the episode. The frantic rapid percussion definitely gives off the feel of "falling".

Love Melch feigning a malfunction he fits right in with Han "slight weapons malfunction" Solo lol.

Sabine sounds tired and exasperated when she points out the fighters won't have any fuel. I can only imagine the kind of impulsive, reckless, rash leadership decisions she's had to put up with from Dark Side Depression!Ezra for the past few months.

Rex is supportive tho. <3

Bendu going through Kanan's other senses methodically to help him relearn how to navigate. <3

Kanan foresensing the danger Ezra's going to be in from across the galaxy and freaking out about it. <3

I'll be honest I don't quite understand this philosophical mumbo-jumbo but whatever it works, Kanan's got his mojo back and is going to go get his padawan.

Ohhhhhh oh I know this cue right here has been used before, dammit where was it used before?

Hang on... I think it's Kanan's theme?

*goes back to check "Stealth Strike"* No, not there. Ugh, this is gonna bug me.

*checks YouTube* It IS Kanan's theme! Holy crap.

Sabine does not have a good time of it against this Dismantler droid. Zeb's prehensile feet save the day, though. Always love when they get to use those.

Worried Ezra be worried. <3

Ezra's strained "Oh shit it's mom." tone here lol.

Recall what I said back in "Fire Across The Galaxy" about how the Rebellion will always pull your fat out of the fire even if you've been stupid? Yeah.

Hera's face when she sees Kanan sitting in the co-pilot chair. <333333

Rex, ah... may not be all mentally here I think the Dismantler droid is bringing up some unpleasant memories.

The subtle symbolism continues!

This exchange is hilarious. "Yeah, get ready for another demotion." Lol Ezra.

Ezra considers the dilemma for half a second and then chooses violence. Mistake three.

Chopper pitches a fit about getting in a Y-wing. Given that he was shot down in one, that's understandable.

This fond smile and headshake at Hondo. <3

Mistake four, not checking to see if the Y-wings had hyperdrives before taking off.

Always love it when one of the kids uses Zeb's "Karabast!" He's a bad influence on them lol.

All of Ezra's previous bad decisions culminate here, he's stranded on a collapsing station, unable to contact help, and the last thing he heard from Sabine was that the Empire was there. It's not any wonder he's practically breaking down in tears.

"This is wrong, it's all gone wrong!" Well, that's what happens when you choose all the Dark Side options, Ezra. Should have kept a save point.

:((((((

Taylor's acting here is amazing, Ezra sounds SO lost and scared and desperate and he just wants Kanan to be there.

A bold and serious "Shenanigans" cue as Phoenix Group blazes in to the rescue. <3

And there's that cue that I told y'all would be coming back. :)

This sequence is perfection. Ezra clinging to the station as it falls, Hera flying with such microprecision she misses all the debris flaking off of it, the rushing wind, the music...

Ezra's shock when he hears Kanan's voice.

KANAN BATHED IN WHITE LIGHT REACHING OUT TO EZRA AS HE AND THE STATION PLUMMET INTO THE ABYSS.

THE RETURN OF THE ARC WORDS, "I'VE GOT YOU."

THE SOUND DROPPING OUT AS THE FORCE THEME PLAYS SOFTLY AND KANAN TELLS EZRA TO LET GO.

EZRA TRUSTING KANAN, LETTING GO, AND LETTING THE WIND CARRY HIM WITHIN REACH.

Cinematic poetry. <333333333

Hera smiled at first when Kanan told her he'd gotten Ezra buuuuut she's pissed now about the Phantom lol.

Pryce's shade at Konstantine, ha ha.

Thrawn sounded so disappointed too, almost sulky. "That's not the Rebel fleet!" 😠

Major "mom grounding her rebellious teenager" vibes. Love that Zeb and Sabine stick up for him.

Dodonna namedrop!

I know some people wanted a bit more out of Ezra's flirtations with the Dark Side but personally I think it's fitting that as soon as Kanan and Ezra bury the hatchet he never touches it again. The major impetus behind his running to the holocron was Kanan's distance from him, reinforcing all the self-negative beliefs Ezra had about the whole situation--that it was his fault Kanan was blind, that Kanan blamed him, that he wasn't a worthy student, that he couldn't rely on anyone but himself to get strong enough to protect the people he cared about, that he needed the holocron and the Dark Side to get that strength.

And you'll notice he doesn't quite swear off the thing entirely, he asks after it both here and in the beginning of the next episode, a bit like an addict antsy for their next fix.

(No, fandom, Kanan's "I'll always come back." here was not secret foreshadowing that the writers failed to follow up on in Season Four, it was a straightforward sentiment in the moment.)

This is a heartwarming sight. <3

This... is my favorite of the season premieres. For obvious reasons.

Once again the main strength is the focus on Kanan and Ezra's fractured relationship as it pieces back together. The action is tightly written and every single element serves its purpose. It's funny, dramatic, heartbreaking...

I don't really have any other words, this episode is just amazing.

[the-yuri-librarian]

Hi..... if you don't mind, can I ask, your top 10 (or top 7) favorite GL media (can be books/ manga/manhwa/baihe/ anime/movies/tv series)? And why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....

I don't mind at all! In fact, putting together a top ten has been on my to do list for a while but I haven't done it yet because it seems real daunting. But, I'll try my best here. Spoiler alert, my #1 spot is a tie. I love both titles and I can't pick between them:

1a. Pulse (manhwa):

Premise: Mel is an expert surgeon at an esteemed hospital, and she is happy with where she is in her life. Her work is fulfilling, she has tons of sex, and everything seems to be generally going her way. But, she has no real emotional connections. Mel believes that love is a foolish game, so instead of dating with any real seriousness, she chooses to bounce from hook up to hook up. But, that all changes when Mel meets Lynn. Lynn has a fatal heart condition and desperately needs a transplant. But, she wants Mel to be the one to perform the surgery. As Lynn entangles herself in Mel's life, the stone of Mel's heart begins to crack....

Why I love it: the story in Pulse is incredible. Mel's character arc is perfectly developed, and her backstory is very interesting when you finally get there (she's also very hot lol). Lynn is equally well developed, fighting for her life while also contemplating it's value. The ups and downs of their relationship is gripping, and the ending left me in tears. I do think there is a pretty major flaw in the story near the end, but I won't get into it here as I plan on doing a review after I reread it in February. CW: sexual assault. It is a bit of an age gap but not a huge one. Also this is very spicy

1b. Love Thy Neighbor (manhwa):

Premise: Doyeon seems to be perfect. She has a large group of friends, a perfect GPA, and is sailing through med school with ease. But, she has one problem: her neighbor keeps her up at night. Whether it is debt collectors pounding on the door at all hours of the day, or the neighbor crying into the night while the TV plays, Doyeon can't get any sleep. Eventually, the debt collectors get physically aggressive, and Doyeon has no choice but to pull her neighbor into her apartment to save her. The neighbor, a woman named Jin Joo, ends up staying at Doyeon's apartment for her own safety. This is all fine and well, but why is Doyeon starting to have sex dreams about her?

Why I love it: so, three things here right up front: 1. there is also an age gap in this story (which I think is a coincidence), 2. It is very spicy and 3. it is incredibly toxic (to the point that consent between the two characters becomes murky) and not for the faint of heart. With all that out of the way: I love this story. Doyeon is so incredibly interesting as a character (and might be a genuine sociopath); all she wants to do is be loved unconditionally and she never gets it and that internal tension is incredible. The plot is also very dramatic, and it makes it HARD to put it down (also I've read through season 1 like 3 times in 4 months). I literally count the days between chapter releases. I didn't think I would enjoy a psychological drama so much but this one really knocks it out of the park. This drama has the effect of, murky consent aside, making the sex scenes electric. They are so well written, carrying significant narrative weight while also being genuinely very hot. There is this constant battle for control between our romantic leads that leaks into their sex, and it's just chef's kiss. I cannot stress enough how much I love this story. Season 2 just started releasing a couple weeks ago so now is an excellent time to jump on board. (PSA: if anyone my mutuals or followers starts reading this PLEASE send your live reactions to my DMs I will love you forever I wanna talk to someone about this story so bad)

3. Qualia the Purple (manga)

Premise: [Redacted]

Why I love it: so this is by far the weirdest love story I have ever read, and it is terribly sad. How far would you go to save the person you love most? The lengths Yukari wuld go to save her love are endless, and her desperation is what makes this tale worth reading. I really don't want to say too much here because this story is best experienced knowing as little about is as possible before you start reading it (also why I didn't include a premise). As a heads up: this story is deeply philosophical and may make you cry. Be sure to read the afterword

4. Nevermore (webtoon)

Premise: Lenore and Annabel Lee both wake up on a distant shore with no memories of who they are. Chased by bizarre spirits, they flea until they stumble upon Nevermore Academy. Here, they are told that they are dead, and that they are here to compete for a second chance at life. Also, they can turn into ghosts with superpowers. As they being to move through the trials, it becomes increasingly clear that their previous lives were deeply tied together. But the question remains: what are they to each other?

Why I love it: the real allure to this story is the mystery. Who is Lenore? Who is Annabel Lee? What is the truth behind Nevermore Academy? The list of questions is never-ending. Also, Lenore is an incredibly charming protagonist, whose quick wit and determination makes it impossible to not cheer for her. The is also inspired heavily by Edgar Allen Poe's work and the gothic literary tradition (and aesthetic). In fact, Lenore's name, as well as Nevemore Academy's name, comes from the poem "The Raven," and Annabel Lee is named after the famous poem of the same name. Coincidentally, both this story and the poem "Annabel Lee" take place "in a kingdom by the sea." As a literature nerd, this is a HUGE plus for me. Especially recommend this story for those who like to try and figure out what's going on before the characters do (so, if you were in the red string brigade while The Magnus Archives was airing this is a must read)

5. Her Tales of Shim Chong (manhwa)

Premise: This manhwa is a historical, girls' love retelling of classic Korean novel The Tale of Shim Chong. It tells the story of Shim Chong, a beggar who is desperately trying to make ends meet to feed her and her blind father, and the soon-to-be second Madame Jang, who has been sold into marrying the Chancellor to give her family a better position. After a chance encounter, they build a friendship -- and eventually more -- that transcends class boundaries. But not everyone is happy with the Chancellor's new wife, and Chong's presence is far from welcome in the royal palace. When the Chancellor falls into a mysterious coma after the wedding night, his children make plans to oust Madam Jang, and it may be up to Shim Chong to save not only their relationship, but their lives.

Why I love it: I think the premise of this story is so so romantic; it drives me crazy. Madame Jang is essentially trapped by the narrative, and Shim Chong is the only one who is able and willing to break her out. The premise creates the perfect setting to critique not only the historical politics of Korea, but also the treatment of women within Korean culture (disclaimer: I am far from an expert here but I think the theme is very prevalent). It is also probably the only yuri I've read so far that would qualify as magical realism, which ties in to the folktale setting with ease. There is not a lot of physical affection in this story, but when it's there, it's so sweet I can't help but swoon. If you like historical fiction, I would recommend starting here out of everything on this list (or start with the next entry).

6. Goodbye, My Rose Garden (manga)

Premise: Hanako is a Japanese woman who has come to England in search of her favorite author. In the meantime, she looks for work as a maid and is eventually hired by a noblewoman named Alice. But, Alice has an unbelievable request for Hanako: she wants Hanako to kill her. Hanako immediately begins trying to find out why Alice wants to throw away her life, and as she does she finds a hidden side of the noblewoman kept deep under wraps...

Why I love it: this story is so romantic, and tense, and dramatic that it has become critically acclaimed - and for good reason. The depiction of historical views on homosexuality are really well done and is juxtaposed well next to Hanako's sapphic awakening. I really think that this yuri is a must read, not just because of the romance, but because of the historical perspectives portrayed within. I wish I could say more but it's been a while since I've read it, and I plan on rereading it and posting a review sometime within the first half of this year

7. Mage & Demon Queen (webtoon)

Premise: In a world where demons and humans are at constant war, Malori has survived childhood and become a powerful mage..... because she is totally in love with the Demon Queen, Velverosa. In fact, Malori would do anything to spend time with her, and she means anything. Day after day Malori climbs the Demon Queen's tower to try and win her heart, and day after day she is defeated. Will the Demon Queen ever love her? Or, will Velverosa be slain before their relationship has time to blossom?

Why I love it: ONE OF THE ROMANTIC LEADS IN THIS STORY IS A TRANS WOMAN (it's Vel lol). But also: this is by far the funniest yuri I have ever read. Whether is is on the cheesy side or the genuinely hilarious side, the humor in this story is baked all the way through, giving it an adorable charm. Additionally, Vel's slow decent into love is so fucking adorable that I often find myself going back to reread her confession; it's just so sweet. If you like a wholesome, light hearted story, or are a big fan of RPGs or isekais (it's not one but it's close enough), then you MUST give this a read. I'm afraid Webtoons.com is putting it behind a paywall soon (against it's creator's wishes), but you may be able to find it else where possibly.

8. Sunstone (American comic)

Premise: in this erotic romcom, Lisa is a writer and, more importantly, a submissive. Ally is a well-experienced programmer and considers herself a dominatrix. They have one thing in common: they have never done BDSM in real life. One day, they meet in a virtual chat room and become fast friends. This friendship evolves as they begin exchanging DMs, and eventually they decide to meet up. They hit it off just as well in person as they do online, and their one time sexual encounter becomes much more, changing their lives forever.

Why I love it: this comic features probably the most realistic depiction of a BDSM relationship - and BDSM sex - that I have ever seen. The characters are complicated, and messy, and so human that you can't helped but be sucked into their lives. It also features one of the most romantic confessions I have ever experience in yuri. Just top notch writing from top to bottom, while also treating the subject matter with dignity and care. The writer has a lot of experience with BDSM in real life, and it really shows with the way the series treats consent, safe words, and after care. If you've never read this story, you need to change that asap. You're really missing out.

9. Whisper me a love song (manga)

Premise: On her first day of high school, Himari watches a band play at the opening ceremony, where she immediately "falls in love" with the lead singer. The next day, she runs into that singer, Yori, and tells her so. Yori's response is unexpected: she says, "I love you, too." Quickly, and awkwardly, Himari realizes that her platonic feelings are being met with Yori's romantic feelings. As their friendship develops, she begins to wonder: what does it mean to love someone?

Why I love it: I really love music, especially rock and punk music, so a romance story based around a musician is automatically going to appeal to me and this one is no exception. Himari's struggle with her sexuality feels so real, and Yori's determination to win Himari's heart naturally compels her internal conflict forward until she has to decide. This manga is so so so cute, especially considering Himari's puppy dog like energy, and this story is almost guaranteed to make you swoon. It is ongoing and getting an anime this year, so please read it and support the official release!

10. Bloom into You (manga)

Premise: Bloom into You tells the story of high school freshman Yuu, as she discovers herself and tries to gain an understanding of "love," which all of her friends seem enamored with. She has never had someone who felt special to her in that way, though she desperately wants to. This all changes when she meets sophomore Nanami, who has also never fallen in love. As they get to know each other, Nanami begins to fall in love with Yuu, though Yuu does not understand why. At the same time, Yuu thinks her chest may be starting to flutter, a feeling that she has longed for but still does not understand...

Why I love it: so there was no way that this wasn't making the list, right? It is the standard for high school yuri, and for good reason. Yuu and Nanami are perfect for each other, and Yuu's slow decent into love is incredible to watch. If you have never read yuri and you want to know where to start, the answer is right here. It is, in fact, required reading. If I were to teach a semester long university class on yuri (a fantasy situation I think about alot), this would be the first story I would assign. The romantic tension is mesmerizing, the supporting cast is top tier, and the ending is immensely satisfying. There is also ace/aro representation, arguably in the main character and canonically in the supporting cast. I am currently doing a live blog/analysis of Bloom into You if you want to follow along with me, though I am very behind on it (I swear I'm gonna continue it, and I'm sorry to my followers :( the new year has not been kind to me lol).

I have done reviews and analysis of some of these series, and have borrowed summaries from those posts. I am linking those down below in case you haven't read them. However, if you read the Qualia the Purple review before reading the manga I will find you:

Her Tales of Shim Chong Review

Qualia the Purple Review

Bloom into You Ch. 1 Analysis

Bloom into You Ch. 2 Analysis

Edit: I just realized that you asked for girls lov books too, so I guess that is going to have to be a separate post....

[ashleyherondalewestfall]

Powerless Review

Review: So many similarities to The Hunger Games and Red Queen. [Note: reading Red Queen next month and that review will include a list]. The story was very much a "Hurry up and wait" for me. The exciting parts were thrilling and the rest was filler. Some parts felt like they could have [should have] been more relevant and described.

Examples: Kitt going to Loot. The whole Adena scene in the end. Callous as it is, it happened so fast, I didn't really care. Really any part with Kai and his father could have been given more depth.

But instead of diving more into those, we got more and more flirting filler. And did Kitt not notice or not care about the tension between Kai and Paedyn? Did I misread his feelings because it seemed like he was into her as well? The trials themselves were pretty original butni do wish they had been more of the story instead of being maybe one chapter each. Same with the rebellion. We know it's happening, obviously, but the meetings were super short and there weren't many at all. Paedyn trusted these people so quickly because what? They knew her father? Even after she learns Callum can read minds? She was so smart about everything else. But the one time she needs to think about the fact that she is betraying not just her future king, but also her friend, who genuinely seems to care about her opinions and can create change, she jumps head first.

Kai: "His eyes were the color of thunderclouds settling over Ilya, of smoke puffing from the chimneys overhead, of the stolen silver coins clenched in my fist. His black, long lashes are in total contrast with his steely gray eyes, now sweeping across my face." "The Deliverer of Death, they call him."

Paedyn: "Her eyes are the color of the Shallow Sea's deepest corner, a clear sky as it begins to drift into night, the subtle shade of a forget-me-not. And like the hottest flame, her eyes are blue and full of fire." "The Silver Savior."

Favorite Quotes: My life means the end of someone else's. - Kai Perhaps you may not need powers to be powerful. - Kai He fears what he cannot control. And in this very moment, that something he cannot control is me. - 🗡 Paedyn

"Every girl deserves something equally as pretty and deadly as they are." - ⚔️ Kai

"Careful, darling. You forget that spilling blood is what I do best." ⚔️ Kai

"Perhaps I'll relieve him of one of his hands, so he never has the opportunity to lay it on a woman again." ⚔️ Kai

"Don't stop. Your questions, your thoughts, your contradictions - I want to hear them all." - 👑 Kitt

"Will you forever be the prize I am aimlessly trying to win?" ⚔️ Kai

"Oh, darling, a trophy implies that I won it, earned it, deserve it. But if I get to have you, it will be because you let me." ⚔️ Kai

"Oh darling, I'm already dreaming." ⚔️ Kai ☆As he practices 😭☆

"Only you can make my name sound worth saying." - ⚔️ Kai

Read Along Thoughts: ▪️He shielded her body 😍 ▪️Uh the dance lessons 💃 🕺 ▪️Who knew Thumb Wars could be so interesting

[hauntedheroines]

♫ Steerpike and Fuchsia

♫ Sarah and James

One that has been breaking my heart lately T_T

Evanescence - Anywhere

Steerpike x Fuchsia

This is not just a What if Fuchsia had asked Steerpike to run away with her, but also the ending I always dreamt for this ship: meeting in the after life like Catherine and Healthcliff from Wuthering Heights. Running on the hills, leaving Gormenghast behind.

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me? And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free? I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you When at sweet night, you are my own

Steerpike and Fuchsia secret meetings, and their shared desired to be free from Gormenghast.

I have dreamt of a place for you and I No one knows who we are there All I want is to give my life only to you I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore Let's run away, I'll take you there

Estelle Daniel, Gormenghast’s producer, described the grave scene as follows:

“I think you understand in this scene that they actually do love each other. You know there is a real chemistry there. In a way, if Fuchsia were to have said, ‘Look, let’s just get on a white horse and ride away from the castle together and just be lovers,’ I think there are moments where Steerpike might almost have agreed.”

The grave scene is also the moment when Fuchsia asks 'What should I do? I can't dream forever', which makes this lyrics even more perfect.

Forget this life, come with me Don't look back, you're safe now Unlock your heart, drop your guard No one's left to stop you

Both Steerpike and Fuchsia have an hidden wound in their soul and close down to the world in different ways. When they are together there is always this dance of coming out and foldling back into their shells. Trying hard to open up and desiring intimacy, though completely uncertain on how to proceed, and learning through each other because they were both so emotionally neglected that they are basically children in the matter.

Sarah and James

This absolutely RECKS ME because Sarah and James both have thought, most of their young lives, that this would be their happily ever after. Even if Sarah never meant it as lovers, she only changed her mind about moving out with James a few months before the story ends. The parts where the singer asks his beloved 'haven't you wanted to be with me?' and 'I cannot dream anymore' is heartbreaking from James perspective.

He build this life around this bright future where they would be safe from their father in a home of their own. He sacrificed his youth and sanity to watch Sarah grown into a capable healthy young woman.

“You sure you don’t need me to stay with you?” he asks from behind me. “Say the word and I’ll stay.”

I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you When at sweet night, you are my own

Oh my, the sleeping kisses

All I want is to give my life only to you I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore

“No, I love you. You’ve never loved me, even though it’s supposed to be me and you, forever.” He reaches for my waist and buries his sticky face in my stomach. “Why can’t I be enough? I want to be enough so fucking bad.”

Forget this life, come with me Don't look back, you're safe now Unlock your heart, drop your guard No one's left to stop you

“We’ll have to move somewhere Dad’ll never find you. We can change our names, and then you can get a job working with flowers or go to college or do whatever you want. I’ll do anything if it’ll make you happy. Just tell me what to do.”

[beardedmrbean]

BOSTON -- A Massachusetts man was sentenced Wednesday to consecutive life terms for killing a police officer and a bystander, following emotional testimony from family and colleagues about the suffering the murders caused.

Emanuel Lopes, now 26, was fleeing the scene of a minor car crash on July 15, 2018 when prosecutors said he threw a large rock at the head of the investigating officer, Sgt. Michael Chesna, 42.

The rock knocked Chesna to the ground, unconscious, and then Lopes grabbed the officer’s gun and shot him multiple times, they said. Then he fled the scene, shooting 77-year-old Vera Adams, who was on her porch, as he tried to get away, prosecutors said.

When he was caught, Chesna’s service weapon was out of ammunition, authorities said.

Lopes was found guilty earlier this year of multiple charges, including murder. Wednesday's sentences mean Lopes would be eligible for parole in 40 years — short of the 55 years requested by prosecutors.

This was the second trial for Lopes after Norfolk Superior Court Judge Beverly Cannone declared a mistrial last year when a jury couldn’t reach a unanimous verdict. The new jury also sent notes to Cannone saying it hadn’t been able to reach a decision, but the judge ordered jurors to keep deliberating.

During the second trial, prosecutor Greg Connor portrayed Lopes as a calculating killer and urged guilty verdicts on 11 charges.

The defense argued that Lopes, who had no previous criminal record, lacked criminal responsibility because he had a long history of mental illness and was in “a state of oblivion” on the day of the killings.

Lopes addressed the court before hearing his sentence, apologizing to the two families and the Weymouth police department. “I am so sorry. This should never have happened,” he said.

Two Weymouth officers who responded that day, both now retired, recalled the heartache of not being able to save Chesna and how the murder had ruined so many lives.

“The image of the defendant standing over Mike shooting him repeatedly is forever ingrained in my mind, and the flashbacks I experienced daily of this is something that no one should ever have to endure,” Nicholas Marini told the court.

“These horrific memories consuming and continue to haunt my dreams even six years later," Marini continued. “I have been forever changed as a husband, a father and as a friend.”

Chesna's widow Cindy read letters from her two children about missing their dad and recounted how she has struggled to rebuild their lives after the death of someone she described as a hero, her protector and “a beautiful person inside and out.”

“They are always going to live with the grief that I can’t fix, and the pain that I cannot heal,” Chesna said, standing in front of several family photos. “But I can ask the court to give them the only thing I can — the comfort of knowing the monster who murdered their daddy will never walk free.”

An attorney for Lopes, Larry Tipton, asked that his client's mental illness be considered in arguing for a lesser sentence — 25 years for the Chesna murder and 15 years for the Adams killing — to be served concurrently. He said his request wasn't meant to “degrade or take away from the personal and honest beliefs and feelings of the family and of the victims."

[hiraethwrote]

Hello!!! How are you doing darling? I hope you're doing well!!! I am here to match your freak <3

I have seen you talk with Ave and the fact that your blog names are so similar made me giggle so I'm glad I followed. You seem like a very cool person <33 I fear I have only recently read your stuff <//3 but I'm glad we're moots now !! <333

OMG I SAW THAT PRIDE AND PREJUDICE WAS IN YOUR LIKES. PLEASE OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT THAT MOVIE. IT'S ONE OF MY COMFORT MOVIES, IT'S ONE OF THE LIKE FIVE I TURN ON WHEN I'M SAD. sorry, no more screaming lol. But, omg I literally love that movie. I've read the book probably five times at this point. The mrs. darcy scene lives rent free in my mind at all times. kfgjnbsjkfdgbdfg and the scene where he's walking towards her in the morning and then she kisses his hands and say "you're cold." hbrbghgbsggs sorry I love the 2005 movie lol.

I am now going to yap about your writing <33

I am a Nanami girlie. I am going to be eating well when I get the time to read that oneshot. I know that it's angst- I accept this. afterwards I shall be reading Gojo fluff after to cope with it. Your Nanami fluff hcs changed my life. They brought me so much joy. I kicked my feet and giggled in the comfort of my empty home. OMG I LOVE HIM. I will be thinking about the slow dancing hc forever now. I fear it will never leave my mind. When I do get around to reading the Nanami oneshot I shall give you all thoughts and opinions and probably break the tag limit lol. be prepared <33

thank you so much for joining us in this event and I can't wait to talk to you more <33 :) have a good day Hea!!!

-kai <3

hihihihi 🩷 so happy to have you here matching my freak MWAH!

i saw this ask come in just as i was about to put my phone down and go to bed lol. decided to let it lay until i woke up so i could give you the attention you deserved

you 🫵🏻 seem really cool. seen you on my dash a lot and i really like your vibe so i’m very excited to get to know you better

pride and prejudice has such a special place in my heart 😩 and i’ve talked about this before so not gonna ramble too much about it, but i wrote my bachelor’s thesis about it — about why we all love mr. darcy sm bc i fear he is the love of my life. if i wore to go on about everything i love about it we would be here for years!! have five different editions of the book sitting in my shelf just to look pretty 🥰 one of them is heavily annotated tho as i needed it for my paper.

the movie is also just perfect. Idk how many times i’ve seen it since reading the book, but it’s a go to on bad days. elisabeth and darcy’s banter and yearning just has me in a chokehold — enemies to lovers is just superior and they did it right!! and i’m a slut for that hand scene like every other normal human being

i am glad i can do nanami justice 🙏🏻 personally, i’m often drawn the overly funny white haired guy compensating for their trauma (gojo, astarion) or the moody grumpy dark haired guys (kageyama, megumi), but one cannot not help but fall in love with nanami either. there’s something about writing about an established man, so sure of himself and you that has me absolutely weak 😩 nanami casually being the greenest flag to ever exist

i’m really looking forward to interacting more with you darling 🩷 hope you have a nice sunday

[ragingstillness]

RE7 love, part 1/infinity

//SPOILERS!\\

Can I just take a second to gush about how amazing RE7 is as a horror game and a horror story in general?

Because it’s just excellent. It’s withstood the test of time (even if not a lot of time has passed) and remains the scariest RE game ever created (no you cannot change my mind). 

There’s so much about it I love I could go on forever but for tonight I want to focus on Grandma. 

The set up for RE7 is classic horror. Large house, middle of nowhere, mysterious family inhabiting the house. It’s been done almost to death. And the game developers do a great job of showing the story to us in little pieces, first in present action, then in literature, then in dialogue, then in flashback, etc. Through this we meet the members of the family: Marguerite, Jack, Zoe, Lucas, and Grandma(?). 

Now idk how much this translates over to non-Americans but it’s not super common in the US to have multiple generations under a single roof. It happens, but I wouldn’t say it’s a cultural norm. However, in the south, where the game is set, on average that’s much more common. So Grandma’s presence in the house makes logical sense. And that’s where it gets scary. 

Because yeah it’s logical for her to be there, but should she be? As you play the game you slowly begin to find things off about Grandma. 

She’s not in any of the flashbacks. She keeps showing up in random places you go. In places she shouldn’t be able to access with her wheelchair. 

This is where it being a video game, and specifically a Resident Evil game, begins to play with your expectations. Because Resident Evil isn’t exactly known for its realism. There are endless jokes about unrealistic settings or plotlines or fight scenes. 

So yeah maybe Grandma shouldn’t be able to get up the stairs in her wheelchair, but maybe she’s got some sort of hidden Stairlift. It’s not as though the house hasn’t been shown to have plenty of secret places and gadgets. 

But is that truly the case? Is Grandma a hilarious red herring to keep you on your toes? Or is she a forbidding omen that is going to become a real problem later? The confusing battle between these two questions keeps you guessing as Grandma just keeps popping up and keeps getting creepier and creepier. 

All the way up until the final confrontation, where so much has happened that you’ve mostly forgotten Grandma in all of this Eveline nonsense, when suddenly Grandma is speaking with Eveline’s voice, and bleeding black mold from her eyes and melting into the floor then reforming into a molded tree hag of enormous size, trying to kill you. 

It’s an excellent reveal, even if you saw it coming, and Grandma is used masterfully to keep you on edge throughout the game. It’s sort of the inverse of what is done in RE8 with Mother Miranda being the hag. The hag is almost helpful, and dismissed by other characters. Grandma is given no context but also a lot of suspicious circumstances, including how she never interacts with you and how you are incapable of interacting with her. It’s so delightfully and masterfully creepy and I love RE7 so much. 

[visceravalentines]

DEAR MEG

I think you wrote that you loved the movie Annihilation. If I misremembered, please feel free to ignore this asdfg.

I remember I saw it and I really enjoyed the visuals, and the terrifying mutated plant bear screaming with a human voice (that part was haunting holy crap) but besides those scenes I wasn't super scared???

Maybe my brain is too small to understand the horror of it asdfghjk

But anyway, what I wanted to ask is, what were your favorite parts of the movie, and what scared you? If you don't mind me asking!

Have a nice day!!!

SOL MY LOVE

thank u for sending me this ask it is so lovely let's talk about cool movies!!!

I love Annihilation the movie but I also love Annihilation the book!! they are very different, only the very basic characters and concept make it into the movie. which makes sense because the book is surreal and abstract and can be hard to interpret what is actually going on at certain moments, and that doesn't translate very well to the big screen. the book, to me, is far more unsettling than the movie. I will answer for both! brain explosion below the cut!

it's an absolutely gorgeous film, weird and captivating and creepy. I love the body horror, the found footage from the previous expedition where the man's intestines are moving of their own accord......incredible. that bear???? scares the bejeezus out of me every time I watch it. one of the scariest creatures I can think of in a horror movie, creatures don't usually freak me out. the sound it makes haunts me. and the bear is not in the book! the book has......other guys. I also thought Natalie Portman ate the role of the biologist. she is distant and offputting and has very little interest in anything but the natural world around her, both in the book and in the movie.

in the book we get much more of a look into the biologist's very rich and strange internal life, and I remember reading it for the first time and being shocked how much I related to her. she was one of the first characters, maybe THE first character, I identified with on a meaningful level. when I read the book again recently I was pleased to find that hasn't changed, even though I have changed a lot since my first read. she is by no means an ideal role model or even a reliable narrator, but I just adore her. and her husband nicknames her Ghost Bird, which is everything to me.

the horror in the book is ultimately about something unmaking you and the world around you in a way you cannot understand. it's a very cosmic horror concept distilled down into very manageable pieces--a plant that begins to alter what you are with just a single touch. a creature that looks like something familiar, but feels distinctly wrong, or distinctly human. something wearing a face that does not belong to it. a sound you cannot identify. words you know, words you can read, but you can't understand what they're saying. it's there, it's right there, but you don't quite get it, and suddenly you are no longer you anymore and it's too late. it's about love and nature and knowledge and meaning and the value of all of these things and the horror of all of these things.

here are some of my very favorite lines from the book, the ones that give me the shivers every time I read it for one reason or another!!

"I am walking forever on the path from the border to base camp. It is taking a long time, and I know it will take even longer to get back. There is no one with me. I am all by myself. The trees are not trees the birds are not birds and I am not me but just something that has been walking for a very long time..."

This was really the only thing I discovered in him after his return: a deep and unending solitude, as if he had been granted a gift that he didn't know what to do with. A gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him. But would it have killed me?

I took the photograph out of its frame, shoved it in my pocket. The lighthouse keeper would come with me, although he hardly counted as a good-luck charm. As I left the landing, I had the peculiar thought that I was not the first to pocket the photo, that someone would always come behind to replace it, to circle the lighthouse keeper again.

Can you really imagine what it was like in those first moments, peering down into that dark space, and seeing that? Perhaps you can. Perhaps you're staring at it now.

"We should never have come here. I should never have come here." "That's all?" "I've come to believe it is the one fundamental truth."

There shall be a fire that knows your name, and in the presence of the strangling fruit, its dark flame shall acquire every part of you.

An almost plaintive keening, a lonely sound in that place, called out to me. And kept calling, pleading with me to return, to see it entire, to acknowledge its existence. I did not look back. I kept running.

Almost anyone else might see it differently. But I am not those people. I am just the biologist; I don't require any of this to have a deeper meaning.