#also see: past they're ashamed of and yet can never escape.

[xuanelle]

i love thinking about how much kiryu and majima both remind me of moon knight like i really did just start reading moon knight comics in 2022 and fell in love hard and then a year later played y0 and was introduced to two (2) characters that both remind me of him. fun to think about

[andguesswhat]

Diary of a mall Santa Claus

Please send me time and efficiency, it's getting tight!

18

Hanukaah Feast Day

*

"So you are the tall and handsome Santa with the big heart?"

Timmy's grandma looks at him attentively and amused.

Armie laughs sheepishly. He doesn't really know how he got into this situation.

She pats his hand. „Don't have to answer, my love. I see everything already there."

Armie has way too many feelings inside of him to even say anything.

All evening, in fact. It's all so warm and cozy at this little Hanukaah feast, and if he's honest, it's just like he used to wish as a child he'd be adopted by such a warm hearted and kind family.

"Is this your first Hanukaah party?" asks Timmy's grandma.

Armie shakes his head. "No…"

No.

And he doesn't know why, because after all, he just met Timmy's grandma, but maybe it's the sentiment that makes him do it, or the warm and cordial nature of Timmy's grandma, because he starts talking.

About his Jewish roots. About his family. About his mother. Especially about his mother. About her views. Her manic views. How he always felt, even as a child, that he didn't share her views, even though she was his mother. How he could never approve of his grandfather having to convert. How he always felt he didn't belong there. And had to get out.

And yet you always remain part of your family, don’t you? You cannot escape. Or only to a certain extent. Because when you flee, you also flee from yourself. From what you are. It's inside of you. You are your parents. You have their genes, you have absorbed this life because there was no alternative... How can you be right then? When you have everything of this inside you? How can you love if you have never learned?

Armie closes his eyes for a moment. He feels a little ashamed that he has talked so much. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say.

He feels Timmy's grandma's hand on his hand again. As he looks at her, he sees warmth and kindness.

Isn't he completely wrong here? In a place that exudes so much safety?

"I'm glad you are here," she says. "You are a fine and noble man."

Armie has to close his eyes again and shakes his head slightly.

"I'm not, that's the problem. I'm not a good person. I can't be..."

Timmy's grandma looks at him almost amused.

"Look over there at Timmy. See how he is glowing? That's you. Do you think people without a warm and kind heart can do that? You are not your parents. Let the past be past for a while. It doesn't matter right now. It will be resolved when the time comes."

Armie wishes so much that this more than lovely lady is right. He's just not quite there yet to believe it.

"You know what Timmy said to me? Two weeks ago?,“ Timmy’s grandma continues, „Timmy said to me, `Grandma, if I find someone really nice but he is also really attractive, how can I find out if it's not just the attractiveness I'm falling for... if my mind isn't just playing tricks on me because I want him in my bed?'“

Armie almost chokes, but Timmy's grandma just grins.

"Yes, don't look so shocked, he can talk to me about anything. And he does! Well, anyway, I said, `Give it time`. And he said, `But I don't have time!` And I said, `Well, then you will never know. Step back, and take a look, give it time.`" Timmy's grandma smiles cheekily, "So how did that go?"

*

Later, when it's late and Armie is leaving, Timmy walks with him out the door.

"Thanks for coming," Timmy says with a warm smile as his hands play with the sleeve hems of his sweater. "I hope you weren't bored or anything."

Armie has to laugh softly.

"Stop beating up on your family. They're absolutely lovely. I had a wonderful evening."

"Okay..." A little nervous, playful and absolutely adorable, Timmy wobbles slightly on his feet. "I'll see you tomorrow then? Last week! We almost made it, huh?"

And Armie can't hold back any longer. It may not be the right place here, but he doesn't want to do anything else in the world and can't stand it a second longer. He is still scared as hell. That he isn't able to give Timmy what he deserves. Because he doesn't know how to do this. But he wants to try. Man, he wants to try.

So he leans forward and puts his lips on Timmy's.

For a second, the world stands still.

Then every nerve in Armie's body begins to tingle.

And Armie puts his hands around Timmy's face and kisses him.

Tenderly and gently.

And it's like nothing Armie has experienced before.

How can that be? That kissing suddenly feels so spectacularly different, that it also feels so much different than when he first kissed Timmy.

That his whole body seems to dissolve, and he's just made up of feelings of happiness swirling around him. And the way Timmy kisses him back, so eagerly and sweet ...

"Who left the door wide open?" comes an instructive sound from inside. "It's cold!"

Timmy immediately lets go of Armie, giggling, Timmy's mother sticks her head out the door, Timmy buries his hands in his pockets in embarrassment, and brings out a quiet "Sorry,mum!"

"Ooohh,“ his mother absorbs for a second before she quickly retreats back into the apartment with a cheerful „Don't mind me!" and leans the door.

Timmy laughs, Armie laughs even louder.

And then he suddenly has Timmy's lips on his again.

And Armie doesn’t mind that at all.

They still have to satisfy a little hunger before they manage to part from each other.

And only with the prospect that they can meet again tomorrow and continue where they left off.

*

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know I do wonder what it says about me how I went from venting frustrations by having X being X to putting L.L. on a blender. I mean undeniably part of it is tied to my ever growing anxiety, hell, you'd argue there's parallels to be drawn between current L.L. treatment and Juan's when I was in highschool (there's so much that I daydreamed about yet never became canon but that guy christ my poor guy 😭) and y'all know how I was in highschool aka miserable and also very scared of real things (had to walk on eggshells always) but also non real things (I was tripping balls and a man with corpse paint is hiding behind my bathroom curtain ready to kill me‼️ among other things) but that still doesn't quite explain what prompted X to be made. What was I going thru that was so exclusive to that moment it didn't happen before or after? Bc X while eventually getting the blender treatment too (that's just my ocd tbf that I understand easily I'm a guilty guilty man and I need to fuel my own guiltiness by doing more bad tm things) he's usually the one pushing others in it. Hell the sheer fact he exists and the reason why he's called X is bc I didn't want to use L.L. for the story I originally wrote of him - just had to save this as a draft could you imagine I forget I hit post limit and lose this entire thing? - and named him X as a sort of place holder. He also is EXCLUSIVE referred as X there too to give him pronouns was too personal (I still use x/xs for him occasionally but way less). And it's not like L.L. doesn't have a few crimes under their belt they've pushed people in blenders too they've had mayor arcs about this in fact even all the way back to Japan their very first place this was present and that was a symptom of Thing in fact when L.L. spoke there they were referencing them who was violent and proud but L.L. was Ashamed of this violence and yes this is present with X too but where on earth did this overwhelming urge to enact it came from? Because I Am a violent man that I won't deny lately especially the urges to break bones and throw shit are overwhelming but not as much as when I walked down the streets daydreaming of every possible way I'd have to kill someone with the coldness of someone who is expecting this to happen (while not past the age of 16 and younger). Though I suppose Sheina WAS a vehicle for this too just like X let's not forget she did torture 4 ppl for a long while and that scene was written twice no less.

I guess there was always a side of... A taste for creative violence in me as far as I have memory and Sheina and X are symptoms of this even L.L. too but I guess I just have burnout? LMAO yeah maybe it's as simple as that. I did know a lot of me spiraling is a need to convince myself it's bad enough to allow myself to feel this. Maybe this whole thing is as simple as . Got distracted thinking of other things remember there was a Point to X character development that I was supposed to change? Which is a thing in universe too bc i never changed and neither did him he just turned it down? And it's now nothing but just another thing that happens that people don't question because X learnt to behave? Worth saying too X was a bit of a show off like when he had to stop originally was his own fault for literally telling L.L. and Can about it which directly affected them both. It really is all about doing bad things only to experience consequences except X wasn't guilty ORIGINALLY. Which is funnier than it's interesting. Although in his base story you can see him slowly get softer and softer.

I'm losing track but I feel they're both a form of downward spiral. But with X there was a whole Climax. There's never that with L.L. . X was an attempt to take control in a time where I had none while L.L. is just a cry for help and portrait of the absurdity of it all. It's also an escape from control itself too, you'd say. Perhaps represents my reality in that sense. It's that paralyzing uncertainty of isolation in dependency. It also it's a legit reflection of me Forgetting I can take control of situations after all until now only Once in modern time has L.L. done so. (They killed a guy. They mangled the shit out of him. They came to work shaking covered in blood. But irl realizing yes that is an option there is a way out was such a great relief.) But there's also the Consequences and the rammys which tie back to what I said before about the paralyzing nature.

And thing which is funnier than everything else is: fuckin what will happen to L.L., huh? Like not only bc I'm writing the story but even in universe. They've killed like 4 people (2 relatives 2 strangers, maybe even more I forgot about too) they don't even exist legally they love going to prison. Nothing is more dangerous to them than their own lack of self confidence.

I seriously don't know where this overwhelming upsetness and... Lack of confidence yeah animal fear and all came from. They were always here but when did they overpower else? Where did this weakness and I mean that in the most literal sense of it too weak like an overworked muscle.

Got distracted again but I guess it's similar to X too like this seeking of a climax of this big turning point except not at all there was that L.L. literally tried to kill themselves and it was a remarkable deal but then it became standard bc Yeah.

Maybe it's like AJJ said and I deserve displeasure and I really want to cry and I think you should spit on my face because I am a werewolf.

I think that's the best I can do for a conclusion idk what I'm saying anymore spent a whole hour or so typing this.

Though it's worth saying I did start thinking of this bc the X gene if you will the Xeske nature never left me it's just buried deeper.

I feel the issue is I keep trying to reach for a happy ending I keep walking down nails waiting for something good to be on the other side but I have no idea what it looks like.

Siiigh alright I'm done typing now it's 1 am ok. Sad conclusion. Though it's not like X had any sort of happy ending already stablished my man is still doing the same. But he did meet other things. He did manage to find some peace after trying and trying again. I guess L.L. is just experiencing the hopelessness I am. I mean the face ripping off thing that was just a real mental breakdown. Arc words too nothing ever changes when they peaked from under their arms and showed what was a single eye and goopy messy blood.

So I guess it's as simple as L.L. gets blended because I don't have the strength for malice I just want thing to get better but can't find a way out. X was for digging a tunnel L.L. is for failing the climbing class.

[yoooespinosa]

hi! i don't know if you write for cedric diggory but i saw in your post that it could be any pair (and also because i love your writings!!). so if it's okay with you, can i please request cedric x ravenclaw!reader. where the reader feels insecure around ced because she's the new gf and is a bit jealous of cho (because they're both in ravenclaw), so ced comes and reassures her that she has nothing to worry about.

a/n: Thank you for your request! Definitely got off track lol.

Ordinary, that’s how you would describe yourself while looking in the mirror. No matter how many times you pinched your cheeks for a flush, pluck your eyebrows or even lather your face in expensive face masks, you couldn’t help but feel ordinary.

You see a dull girl looking back at your reflection, what could you possibly have to offer?

Bringing your face closer to the other you, you try and look. To look and see what he can possibly see.

No matter how hard you search, you find nothing. You sigh, a pout to your lips.

“What’s wrong?” A gentle voice interrupts your heavy observation. “You’ve been staring at yourself for close to an hour.”

You almost groan, you must look like a weirdo.

You turn to face the girl that was leaning against the door frame that leads into your shared bathroom.

She was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful, her eyes, her hair, her cheekbones, the shape of her lips, even her voice was beautiful. Cho had to be perfect. It didn’t help that she had such a good heart.

She was so perfect, you wanted to strangle her. How could Cedric, your beautiful boyfriend, go after you when he had a girl like Cho before?

You couldn’t possibly comprehend it.

You open your mouth to answer her, but then cut yourself off. “Nothing important.”

You pass by her concerned gaze, heading to your bed, letting your insecurities run wild once your head hits the pillows.

If you had stayed any longer you might have asked something stupid like, “am i pretty?” and you didn’t need the possibility of your fears being confirmed.

Cedric and Cho had broken up a year ago. They both agreed they were better off as friends. A few months after their breakup, he took a liking to you. He did everything in his power to win your affections, it was easy to fall for him. Cho had been supportive of it too, even helping him woo you.

So you don’t know why you have these doubts, even when your months in with Cedric.

You’re not even sure when you started the comparison of yourself. Always questioning everything you did, ‘Did Cho do this?’ or ‘Did he prefer to do this with Cho, rather than you?’

You even started comparing yourself to all the other girls that still shamelessly flirted with Cedric. Knowing he was taken didn’t seem to stop them. It didn’t help that even they were beautiful. You were scared that maybe one day he’d see it too and leave you for them. Or realize he made a mistake with breaking things off with Cho.

You felt like a shadow compared to him, Cho and every other pretty girl that glanced his way. You felt as if you were watching him live his life, while you sat quietly, watching for a little tell sign of his doubts of you.

But he gave away nothing. He gave you everything though. He gave you his love and you wondered why that wasn’t enough to kill those running thoughts.

He looks at you with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. Yet, you still tear yourself apart every night. Thinking of solutions on how you can just be better. You pick yourself apart, until your numb.

You fell asleep with the echo of your unanswered why’s.

“Ready?” Cedric asks, taking a hold of your hand.

You hum in agreement, letting him pull you up.

You both just finished lunch and planned on heading to his dorm to hang out there. You hadn’t brought up any of the thoughts that were burning through your skull the other night and you didn’t plan to.

You focused on the path ahead, not noticing the stolen glances from the boy next to you.

Entering his dorm, you both take off your shoes and place them next to the door. You put your bag down and just take in the room. Trying to let the familiar space sooth your nerves.

“You’ve been feeling alright?” He asks, looking at you through his lashes.

“Fine.” Nodding your head, but you think the bags under your eyes speak a different truth.

“Cho’s been telling me that you’ve seemed off,” He paused, then adding “lately.”

You faintly wondered why he said it like that, but inwardly shaking it off as you processed his words.

“You and Cho talk about me?”

You wanted to ask that they talked in general, but you knew they did. You weren’t sure why the thought filled you with a sense of dread, why your chest compacted in with it.

That little voice in your head was making up all these sinful scenarios, flashing before your eyes that you almost felt like you were going to be sick.

“We’re friends,” He says gently, almost like he sees how fragile you are, how one wrong word could be the downfall. “she’s your friend also. And she’s just been a little concerned.”

You chewed on your lip, cutting up your gums, stopping yourself from saying anything you’d regret after. “Nothing to be concerned about.”

He sighs and stares at you for a second longer, it seemed like he was searching for something that you weren’t sure you wanted him to find, so you turn your eyes away.

You heard his footsteps walking to the other side of his bed, followed by the sound of his drawer opening.

“Here,” You looked up to find him holding a brown cable knit sweater, your favorite one he owned.

It brought a small smile to your face, making an ounce of relief flood his chest.

You mumbled your gratitude, then taking your leave to the restroom to change. A shadow fell over his eyebrows, you’d always just change in front of him.

He didn’t linger on the thought for too long once he heard the click of the door and your light footsteps.

You made your way to his bed, gently prying the sheets open and sinking into the warmth. You turned your back towards him, closing your eyes, and letting the sound of the changing of his clothes fill the air.

A dip to the side of you and arms enclosing in on you, dragging you into more warmth. Yet, the coldness in your chest stayed.

You clenched your eyes shut and prayed for sleep. This was your favorite part of day, these naps with Cedric, his dorm room empty and the chance to be alone without anyone in sight to compare yourself to.

But even with his arms around you and the smell of him surrounding the space you were in, didn’t stop the whispers of the troubled.

He must of felt how tense you were, different from the way you so easily melted into him.

“Y/n.” He whispers, you felt him shift behind you, his arms loosening.

You clenched your eyes tighter, trying to even out your breaths, but even you knew that it was not possible to fall asleep that fast.

“Y/n,” He hovers over you a little, looking at your face with an unimpressed expression. “i know you’re not sleeping.”

You unclench your eyes, steeling yourself, for the conversation you knew was bound to happen. Opening your eyes, you met his soft bright ones. His eyes, that spoke everything you wished you’d just believe.

“Yes?” You mumble softly, peeking at him through your lashes.

He stares at you a second longer, then kisses your cheek. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” You were never good at playing oblivious.

“About what’s going on in your head that’s making you look at me like that.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Looking at you, like what?”

“Like i’m a stranger,” He mumbles sadly. “like i’m someone you should be wary of.”

Guilt washed over you, you didn’t know you were so translucent. You never wanted Cedric to be affected by the problems you were inflicting on yourself.

“That’s not true.” An obvious lie.

“It is.” He corrects you. “You can talk to me, you know that right? We’ll never fix anything, if you don’t talk to me.”

He was right, no matter how much you didn’t want to talk about this. You knew you needed to at some point. And it was looking as if that time was now.

“I just-“ You tried again. “Do you ever have, i don’t know, doubts?”

“Doubts?” You turn so your laying on your back now, him still half hovering over you. “About what?”

“Like,” A long sigh escapes past your lips, unwilling. “Do you ever regret getting with me?”

He gapes at you, almost looking offended of the question. “Why would you even ask that?” He sits up, causing you to follow.

“I don’t kn-“

“Do you think i regret it?” He rephrases, “Do i make it seem like regret it?”

Every scenario of him and you together flashes in blurs through your head and no he didn’t, the opposite actually. He looked at you as if you were the sun, as if you were brighter than the sun.

“No.” You mumble weakly, ashamed that even that revelation didn’t seem to dampen your insecurities.

“Then i’m confused on what brought this on.”

“Why are you with me, when you can be with someone as beautiful as Cho.” You meant for it to come out as a question, but it sounded like a statement.

Maybe you did mean to say it like that, it’s what you believed, the only thing you weren’t questioning the truth of.

You hear him get up and you feel as if your heart stopped beating. This is it, this was what you were preparing yourself for, you thought to yourself. Eyes already blurring.

Then a warm hand in yours, pulling you up. You stumble a little, but he steadies you, always keeping you grounded. Next thing you know he’s dragging you along to the bathroom. Confusion is clear on your face.

“What?” You mumble more to yourself.

He brings you in front of the mirror, the full body length one in the corner of the room. He stands behind you, towering over your smaller frame.

“Look at yourself.” He demands softly, when you don’t cast your eyes away from his.

You oblige, catching your own eyes. You furrow your eyebrows.

“What are you thinking about right now?” He asks, his hands ghosting over your waist.

“How could you possibly love me when i can’t even love myself?”

He looked pained by your words, that you could even have those thoughts.

“I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”

You give him a weak smile, “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Then i’ll help you love yourself.” He adds, desperately. “I’ll make you see what’s to love about you.”

He grips you harder, taking away the response you had.

“Look,” Because your eyes had ventured to his once again.

His thumbs brushed over your body, the side of your face, until they landed under your eyes. Covering the dark circles from view, he smoothed them out gently.

“Your eyes,” He began softly. “they have to be the most captivating eyes i’ve ever seen. They were the first thing i noticed about you, the first thing that pulled me in.”

His fingers brushed over your nose, curving in with it.

“This adorable nose,” He pinches it softly. “home to the freckles i could spend all my time counting.”

He brushed over your cheeks, leaving a pink blush. His fingers stopped at your lips.

“Have to be the most kissable lips out there.” He drags your bottom lip down with his thumb. “I could spend hours just kissing you, these lips.”

His knuckles brush over your neck.

“Where else am i supposed to leave my marks that show everyone your mine?”

He spends an hour at least, going through why he loved every feature about you. Talking about the way you bewitched him with your looks, with your heart.

“Can’t you see how you’re the cause of my euphoria?” His chin was resting on your shoulder, his eyes burning into yours, you never felt more loved than right now.

Those whispers dimmed in comparison to his loving words.

His hands were still roaming slowly over you, like he couldn’t get enough, you were sure he couldn’t get enough.

“What do you see?” He whispers, once your eyes take yourself in again.

“I see-“ You think for a second, really think. “I see potential.”

Potential to love yourself. Potential to accept the love he gave you. Potential to feel worthy to have him. Potential to see that he picked you.

And from then, every so often he would drag you to the mirror and do it again. Adding something new each time.

Until potential turned to beauty. Undeniable beauty. Until the whispers were nothing more than the self assured.

[thetwstwildcard]

Now that we know some of their siblings, how do they get along or don't with them?

This'll be long but I'll do for the siblings I posted 🧡

Catrina-Victoria: A strained relationship but they're trying. It's hard to overcome their past and how they were compared to each other. There is still resentment between them (still slightly blame each other for how their lives turned out)

Catrina-Dante: When he was still alive it was the closest sibling relationship. Dante sorta took over the father role for Catrina and showed a different side of masculinity than her father and other brothers. She still misses him and will "escape the world" to spend hours at his grave

Catrina-Mateo: Of the living siblings Mateo is now the one Catrina is closest to. They bonded over the loss of Dante. Catrina lost her "home" and Mateo was forced to become the oldest male in the family. Dante helped both of them so they're both slightly lost now

Catrina-Ignacio: They get along fairly well but Ignacio's rich and fast lifestyle reminds Catrina way too much of Emiliano so she's slightly distant. They will play magishift together to just talk

Catrina-Mauricio For being the one who annoyed her the most when they were children, they're pretty close. Mauricio is the main one to spend time with Celi. And his dynamic with Celi reminds Catrina of her and Dante

Catherine-Chen'ya: It's hard to say, Chen'ya doesn't know Catherine is his sister (yet) and Catherine holds a grudge for him never helping her and helping Riddle instead (she initially didn't want to like Riddle or Trey). Chen'ya was a child then so there was only so much he could do, a part of Catherine knows that

Lovette-Eirlys: She adores her, but she is also slightly annoyed with how casually Eirlys will bring up her past and wrong doings. Eirlys often sees Lovette cry

Lovette-Esme: Lovette is annoyed by her caring nature and how Esme reminds her that "doing all this won't bring Ambrose back". Esme tries to help Lovette and she dislikes it

Lovette-Livia: They fight the most, Livia is ashamed of Lovette's actions and finds them disgusting. Lovette hates her judgment. Secretly Livia just wants her old sister back, the happy and caring one before Ambrose's death, not the manipulative flirt

Lovette-Alaric: They often steal things together. A terrifyingly perfect duo, they both love and leave people and encourage the other's toxic/self destructive behavior

Nasira-Nadir: Nasira does not like her twin, in her mind he is a coward who turned away from his family and duty. Nadir actually left to try and find a cure for his sister's curse. He hates that Nasira hates him but he will continue to try to help her

Emery-Blaise: Her eldest brother, he holds a bit of a grudge against her as he trained so hard at archery but she's still better than him. He was the one who distracted her on the hunting trip so he blames himself for her trauma. Emery is fond of him

Emery-Dieter: Two nervous siblings, while not actually twins they look and act like it (Dieter is a year older) Emery often hides behind him. Instead of archery Dieter is good at fencing

Emery-Caden: He hates the nervous Emery and likes when she's the snarly archer better. He's one year younger than her. Emery is nervous around him because he always wants to train and hunt. She does make him stuffed animals that he says he hates but always keeps them

Kiara-Liya: Bad relationship, Liya was always jealous of her sister but called her a failure when she decided to follow Leona. Liya also insults her inability to control her UM. Kiara treats her like a little kid and holds her to a high standard, that she can always "do better". Kiara accidentally burned her one day and since then they don't even look the other in the eye

Ritvik-Kairav: One sided bad relationship, Ritvik still loves his brother even though he abandoned the pack. Kairav sees Ritvik as an "annoying pup". Ritvik often tries to find his brother and bring him back only to get hurt by the lone wolf

Lyss-Des: Lyss does use Des to take her bad feelings away. She adores her brother but she's emotionally weak. Des on the other hand is more physically weak. So, Lyss protects him physically. They spend the most time together and Lyss teases him often

Lyss-Ire: The big sisters. Lyss is a bit crazier while Ire is more put together. They are also very close. Lyss helps with some of Ire's dirty work to keep the "story" going

Edmund-Carlisle: Strained relationship, Carlisle is indirectly the cause of Edmund's death, even if the actions that lead to his eventual death was to protect him. Now ghosts, Carlisle acts like nothing happened while Edmund always remembers

Ephraim-Odette: Distant, Odette is the cause for Ephraim's blindness so she keeps a distance as she always feels guilty when she sees him. Ephraim does not blame her at all and is saddened by their drift but if it makes his sister feel better he will kept his distance

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 5 "Pumpkin Patch" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

The theme was "Let Them Eat Cake," so my dad bought me this foreclosed McMansion down the street, and, like, 500 of my closest friends came dressed in 18th century attire, and, oh, the pool was filled with this, like, caviar slurry. And then at midnight, we just burnt the house down. When the firefighters came, they were actually strippers, and they put out the fire with champagne.

So walk me through this, honey.

Well, as you can see, every pumpkin in the patch is artisanal.

Then we move past the ice sculptures of demonic peeing cherubs, and yes, they will all be peeing vodka and Red Bull.

I'm sorry. Corn maze?

It's just that doing an exact replica maze from The Shining would have taken us way over budget on man power alone.

I told you money was no object.

Well, apparently, one of them died or something.

Do you have any idea what's at stake here?

Okay, well, it's not my fault that some guy died in the '70s.

I am tired of your sad-sack, I'm-a-total-downer-all-the-time schtick.

I'm over it!

Oh, my God, why are you so depressed?

Why do I have to be the homely one?

Just a second, nutbag.

God, do I have to spell it out for you?

You're a weird, psycho lunatic who's gonna end up in an asylum somewhere, staring at a wall, trying to nurse a watering can.

That's it! I can't take this anymore!

That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.

You scream "I'm done with you" kind of a lot, and yet you're still standing here.

I think you know you have a good thing going.

You get to bask in my starlight as I do all the work and you get to grumble behind my back about how disrespected you are.

There's the door.

There's the door, bitch!

You did not deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever.

That is bollocks!

Clearly this fake kidnapping is a play to get the sympathy vote. So Gone Girl.

This is the biggest candle night of the year!

I hate you right now!

Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda!

See, Halloween it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales.

I have no idea how you got into this college.

Look, we'll just hang out and play charades!

This cannot be happening!

Hey, what about Black Hairy Tongue Disease? I mean, does nobody here care about Black Hairy Tongue?

What about my pumpkin patch?

I blame you for this.

[NAME], nice boobs.

Join me in saying you are not afraid!

Just baking some cookies for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

Uh, they're toenail cookies.

Pink fur coats worn in all weather, my idea. Flapper dresses made out of feathers, also my idea. Oversized sunglasses worn everywhere, my idea, my idea, my idea!

So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children?

Okay, whose side are you on?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm what you call

a "switch-hitter."

Wait, are you bisexual? Because that's what "switch-hitter" means.

Do you mean "double agent"?

What are you writing?

Do you know how big Halloween is in the candle community?

Is this an ant farm?

There's a mom ant, Deborah, who mostly just lies around and she has about 100 husband ants, who come around and give it to her good, which she really enjoys. And then there's about a million sterile daughter ants who feed her and are her slaves. So, an ideal family.

She'd win. And then I'd beg to be her second-in-command, while quietly pull the strings behind the scenes like Dick Cheney.

This plan involves a lot of circuitous logic.

Oh, my God! Those are, like, $100 each!

They're the highest quality candles that can be purchased retail.

What a brilliant and revolutionary idea.

Are you cheating?

This is a clear violation of the honor code.

You must be new here.

Who are you calling?

I'm gonna get you fired.

At least you wore something nice today.

Remember to smile for your mug shot.

I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst.

They'll know I'm guilty!

I'm next in line and in charge here.

You can sum up my viewpoint on this with one word; indifference.

We are her only hope.

Sometimes, in order for a person to achieve their full potential, they have to do things on their own.

I am in charge here!

I love that you're a man.

This is the most sensual song ever written.

We need to do this right now!

I just saw her boobs.

Oh, a salad date is, it's like, it's more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.

Whose pants are these?

You know, you're a human being with feelings and needs, right?

Enough about me and my confusion and sad dead feeling inside.

It just really hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure my so-called friends are the ones that turned me in so I'm just feeling, like, super alone right now.

Man, I am your biggest Instagram fan!

I just think you are a style genius.

I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me in here.

Besties for life, I say.

Your bail's been posted.

I knew you'd bail me out.

Can I just say what a relief it is to be able to share it with somebody and not feel judged?

You know, I mean, all my girlfriends are like, "That's immoral." "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Ashamed? What the hell you got to be ashamed for?

You should be proud.

I could've lost my job.

I mean, it lasted, like, 45 seconds, and the whole time, it just felt like I was getting stabbed in the abdomen.

I tied him up and I kept my uniform on and proceeded

to read him his rights. My favorite being "You got the right to remain sexy."

Give me some!

You know he's sexy!

That was one of the best nights of my life.

Well, I've already contacted the police department, despite the fact that a person can't be considered "missing" until at least 72 hours has passed.

That's morbid.

I've already hired an investigator.

What, are you two a couple now?

What the hell are you doing?

You sold me down the river, bitch.

Wait, Gary Coleman's parents stole his kidneys?

I would never say that, because I'm pretty sure that never even happened.

Why does ratting me out sound like exactly something you would do?

You know, I've never thought of myself as a killer, but I am seriously considering ramming this pick into the back of your eye socket.

Maybe you'll get your head sawed off.

You have cameras in my room?

I have eyes everywhere, bitch.

The name of my future perfume is Revenge.

How is that something you just happen to know?

That is stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What's the password?

I just can't eat any more of these.

This ain't The Marriage Ref! This ain't Judge Joe Brown! We ain't on the Maury Show! We ain't standin' in line trying to get tickets to Dr. Phil! I am not Steve Harvey, people, and this ain't the Family Feud!

I'm tryin' to catch a killer.

Help me get the spy gear in the car!

How can you promise?

We're in a maze, you don't know where you're going!

I always knew it would come to this.

Why are we doing this right now?

I forgot the flashlights!

What am I supposed to do with this?

This is so creepy.

It smell like booty in here.

I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach.

I might start farting. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?

Oh, my boob!

Stay where you are! I'll come and get you!

Ooh, this is nice.

It's really beautiful.

It looks like you just crossed some stuff out and wrote that in in marker.

Okay, can we talk about that for a second? Because it just happened a few hours ago, and I'm still really traumatized.

I need some cheering up right now.

Excuse me, darling, I'm exhausted.

Wait, we need to hear what happened to you.

Just wondering where you find a house with a pit. The market for them would be pretty limited.

Did you escape, or did you kill him?

I've always had a thing for bad boys.

That got way out of hand.

[datheetjoella]

Fantober 2020, Day 12: Enchanted Forest

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 12/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,799 Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Human!Makoto, Elf!Haru, First Meeting, Magic, Fluff Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

                                             ----------------------------------

Tired and worn-out from his travels, Makoto weaved through the dark woods in search of a place to camp out for the night. Preferably at a river or a creek, somewhere he could refill his flasks and wash his face. His horse was starting to lose speed, so hopefully, he would find a good spot before she had to give in to exhaustion.

Then, the sound of running water drowned out the symphony of owls and crickets. He followed it and to his delight, he stumbled upon a glade at the bottom of a cliff. A pristine waterfall cascaded down the rocks, flowing down into a moderately-sized lake.

Relief engulfed Makoto from within and he leapt off his horse, guiding her over to the edge of the lake so she could drink from it. He kneeled and peered into the water. Moonlight shimmered on the surface, illuminating every droplet. Never before had Makoto seen such clean water; there were no fish or algae in the lake, not as much as a leaf or a branch floating down the stream or caught on the sides. It seemed almost divine and the mere sight of it made his scratchy throat even drier.

He cupped his hands and let the water flood his palms, gratefully drinking as much as he could get. The water tasted even better than it looked, fresh and crisp like it rejuvenated him from the inside.

Once he'd quenched his thirst, Makoto checked the trees to see if anyone was around. When he was sure the coast was clear, he disrobed himself and dove into the water headfirst.

When he broke through the surface, he felt reborn. The fatigue and strain of his travels slipped off him, leaving nothing but contentment and serenity in his heart. Although he was miles removed from home, Makoto had never felt quite as comfortable as he did within this lake.

Alas, this feeling did not last.

A shadow moved behind the waterfall and Makoto let out a strangled screech, hastily covering his nude chest. Through the stream emerged a man, someone whose presence he hadn't noticed before.

Fear spread through Makoto's body like he'd been hit with a poison-tipped arrow; he was alone in the dark forest in a rather compromising position. Even if he hadn't been, he was not exactly the type suited for combat anyway and he saw no opportunity to make a quick escape.

But when the man stepped forward and the moonlight showered over his face, Makoto's fear evaporated.

Long, dark robes that reached down to the ground were wrapped around his slender body. Pointed ears poked through a curtain of dark hair, framing his small face. His features were soft and elegant and his pale skin contrasted the darkness of the night. But the most mesmerising parts of him were his eyes, blue and piercing. Like he could peer straight into the past, present and future.

Elves were rumoured to be gorgeous and although Makoto had never seen one in person, he was certain this man was among the most beautiful in their entire species. His appearance made him forget about the world around him, enchanted by a single glance.

But then, the elf's expression shifted, from neutral to confused. Or rather, shocked.

"Who are you?" he said, and despite the vibrant distress in his tone, his voice had a calming effect on Makoto. "How did you find this place?"

"Oh, um I," Makoto stuttered, unsure which question to answer first. "I was looking for a place to rest for the night. I heard the waterfall, so I followed the sound and it brought me here."

"Impossible."

"Sorry, am I not supposed to be here?" Perhaps he was trespassing on elven territory without his awareness. "If that's the case, I'll leave immediately. I don't mean to cause any trouble."

The elf seemed to be at a loss for words and the uncomfortable, misplaced feeling in Makoto's stomach grew.

"The water…" the elf said after a brief pause, "did you drink from it?"

"Yeah," Makoto said, cowering into himself like he was being scolded by his mother. "My horse did, too. Is that bad?"

A loud groan left the elf's lips and before Makoto could blink, his robes were flying through the air and water splashed upwards, sending ripples of waves throughout the lake. He emerged right in front of Makoto's nose, shaking the beads from his hair.

It startled Makoto and heat warmed his cheeks when he realised how clear the water was and how he was still very much naked. The look inside the elf's eyes was fierce and sharp and Makoto wasn't quite sure whether he should be embarrassed or scared.

"Listen, if I did something that I shouldn't have, then I sincerely apologise," Makoto said, frantically waving his hands as if to prove his innocence. "Please believe me when I say that I had no ill intentions. I just wanted to wash up and fill my flasks, I meant no harm."

After another second of staring in scrutiny, the elf relented. "I believe you. What's your name?"

"Makoto. And yours?"

"I'm Haruka. Haru," the elf said. "Say, Makoto, you have no idea where you are, do you?"

"Not a clue." Makoto sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck.

"This is the Sacred Moon Spring. Every droplet of this spring has been infused with ancient magic and every full moon, its magical properties are replenished and the water is at its most powerful." Haruka looked up at the sky and Makoto followed his line of vision; the moon was large and round, standing out brightly between the trees.

This was not good. No wonder he felt so refreshed. "We drank from the sacred, magic water…" Makoto stated the obvious. "So, what happens now?"

"I don't know. My clan has been guarding this spring for centuries, but no human has ever come near here, let alone drank from the water," Haruka said, "To be honest, I'm not sure how you even found this place. There's a protective spell around this area, a barrier that's supposed to keep all non-elven creatures out. Not even birds or deer can pass through."

"Oh," Makoto said, drawing circles on the surface with his fingers, "Well, there's this story in my family that my mother's great-great-grandmother was a Woodland Elf, but I always thought that was just a tale. Do you think it could be true?"

Haruka shrugged. "I guess it is. I don't have any other explanation why you would be allowed to pass through. The barrier must've detected elven blood in you."

"But there's so much more human blood in me, and I don't look like an elf at all."

"You don't," Haruka said as he took a step closer. "But your eyes do."

Makoto frowned. "My eyes?"

"Hm. They're… vibrant." When Haruka noticed how close he'd gotten and how breathy his voice had been, he blushed all the way up to his ears and increased the distance between their bodies. The pink hue looked immensely cute against his pearly skin. He coughed and tried to regain his aloof demeanour. "So, I suppose you are a descendent of a Woodland Elf."

"But what about my horse? I don't think she had a great-great-grandmother who was an elf."

"Were you riding her when you arrived here?" When Makoto nodded, Haruka said, "Then that's why. You lead her here, and your authority granted her permission to pass through, too."

That did make sense, as much as any of this magical spring situation could. Maybe there was an off chance he had bumped his head against a low hanging branch and was hallucinating, or maybe he fell asleep beneath a willow and this was all a dream. But was his simple mind truly capable of conjuring up something so fantastical, or someone as beautiful as Haruka?

Ashamed of his thoughts, Makoto said, "If I'm not supposed to be here, then I shall leave. I wouldn't want to disturb the balance of this place."

"You can stay, if you'd like," Haruka said, brushing his fringe back to appear nonchalant, "if the barrier let you through, then I see no reason to reject your presence."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose on this sacred place. If there's a barrier to keep humans out, then I can't imagine it's okay for a human to bathe himself in this water."

"As the guardian of this sacred place, I'm sure," Haruka said, "To be honest with you, no one is allowed to touch this water with their bare hands, not even I. It's used in important rituals in my clan."

"Then I should get out! I'm so sorry," Makoto said in a combination of disbelief and panic; Haruka didn't seem to care, but the last thing he wanted was to be struck with an elven curse if anyone else found out.

A hand on his shoulder held him back. It was small and felt cold, yet it also emitted a strange sort of heat.

"You already touched it and drank from it, so I don't see why I would send you away now. The water is already contaminated, and truthfully, it was long before you even got here."

"What do you mean?"

"How could I guard such a beautiful spring without going for a swim every night? There truly is no water like it." For a second, a hint of an adorable smile was visible on Haruka's face before he let himself fall backwards underwater and Makoto couldn't help but laugh. Haruka was the first elf he'd ever met and a rather odd one at that, but Makoto had an inkling they were going to get along very well.

All throughout the night, Makoto stayed inside the spring and talked with Haruka while floating beside him. They discussed their everyday lives, Makoto's family and his apprenticeship at a blacksmith a couple of towns away from his home, Haruka's clan and their traditions - and Haruka's disinterest in adhering to them -, how Haruka became the guardian of the spring and what effects the water could possibly have on Makoto and his horse.

The hours flew by and Makoto completely lost himself in their conversations and in Haruka. He didn't sleep a wink, but the water energised him like no amount of rest could and there was nothing that could whisk him away from this place. That wasn't because of elven magic, though, but because of Haruka. Makoto's suspicions were confirmed; Haruka turned out to be just as beautiful on the inside as he was on the outside.

Many things about his future were uncertain now, but there was one thing Makoto knew for sure: this would not be the last night Haruka and he spent together.

[addershade]

A Semi-Stuctured Rant on Antishipping, Fujoshi Culture and the monetization of Homosexuality in Japanese and American Media

Antishippers are homophobic and it's bothering me. But also so are fujoshis and that bothers me too

Part One: Antishippers

Where there sails a ship ship so to the antishippers let fly their flags. A common argument I see painted on the bows of their warships is 'This character hasnt been stated as gay yet don't ship them with them.'

This is such a problematic sentence I don't even know where to begin. The fact that people view the default state of sexuality as 'straight until declared gay' creates the stigma that being homosexual is in some way deviant or taboo.

As an example: nobody has a problem with Todoroki being shipped with Momo despite them having minimal character interaction and very little shared dialogue in the show. Yet because they have been seen together in one (1) episode it has even been assumed canon on the same level as Izuku and Ochako which it quite simply is not.

Compare this to Bakugo and Kirishima who have several scenes together, most in even more intimate settings than Todoroki and Momo (study date, walking home at sunset together, the money scene, the rescue, I could go on) yet since the creator has not OUTRIGHT stated that either of these two are gay they have been assumed straight. Antishippers never go after TodoMomo in the same way they do KiriBaku.

I've seen people go as far as to say it would never happen, the creator would never do something so radical as to include one (1) gay couple. Despite the already pretty strong LGBTQ+ presence in the show with characters like Tiger, Big Sis Magne and Toga. These three have their own problems (an issue for another time) but they are there and that's a big step forward that people like to forget about.

Also, is the concept of 'we don't get good gay representation in the media so we write our own' really such a hard thing to grasp? Because it shouldn't be. Gay representation in media is scarce and even if its there it might not be handled sensitively (cough cough banana fish cough) and people naturally would want to go out of their way to provide it for themselves. Because representation is important. Straight, cis, white men really wouldn't understand because they are represented in literally everything all the time so I geuss they can't really fathom not being able look at the main character and go 'it me.' Which is why they put up such a fuss about every single time a woman is cast as the lead role. In anything. But I digress.

My point is basically this: Characters with undefined sexualities are obviously going to draw people in and be used as a comfortable, familiar and interesting starting point to create someone you can resonate with on a deeper level. Especially if there's nothing contradicting your head canon. And even if there is, who cares? There's plenty of straight characters already, representation is not pie and also they aren't real people so thats an extra helping of 'it shouldn't bother you.'

Oh I forgot to mention this rant only extends to fictional character antishippers because I think shipping real people is icky and shouldn't happen regardless of sexuality.

Part Two: Fujoshi Culture

Yes there are straight gals and guys that fetishise it (the male version is a fudanshi at least get it right people) and that's gross and unforgivable please stop doing it.

I would argue however this epidemic is caused by the fact that media, eastern and western alike, refuses to normalise gay relationships. Which means they see it as this sick fetish thing and call it 'sinning.' The literal terms fudanshi and fujoshi are derogatory and paint enjoying 'yaoi' as a guilty pleasure, something to be ashamed of and ridiculed.

And I'd bet my bottom dollar that Japan would want to keep it that way because it does work to sell their mangas.

Nagisa really sums up the whole issue in 50 percent off here's the clip:

https://youtu.be/c_xwtbrXbZM

Part Three: Western Focus

I just want to point out how half hearted and overly subtle these relationships have to be, like you're sneaking it past the republicans like the producers dirty little secret.

Good examples from both sides are Bubbeline, KoraSami, All of Voltron and Literally Any Gay Man In Anime Except Yuri on Ice. Although Yuri on Ice is still pretty coy about admitting that their characters are in a gay relationship.

KoraSami, Bubbeline and Shiro x Shiro's flashback buddy are all western depictions. Being gay in western media is much less commercialised and much less marketable, which is why the main issue with all of these were the writers pushing for something that was then only really confirmed either in: a very heavily fought for kiss last episode or the love story told entirely in (two bros chilling in a hot tub style) flashbacks where said love interest dies in the same episode. None of these are good representation and I don't think I have to spell out why.

Anyway this is another video that sums it up better than I can

https://youtu.be/TOj4WfQPNlk

Part 4: The Bad, The Worse and the Ugly

tw: s*xual a*sault mentioned (part 5 is safe)

I'll be quick

Anime like Banana Fish and Black Butler really like to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are only gay because they have been r*ped by sick, twisted older men.

As a gay man who has been s*xually a*ssulted in the way that they like to pretend defined my sexuality I can say that this is insulting, triggering and Never. Ever. Handled. Properly. Anime has some issues with sexuality as a whole but it really takes the cake when characters like Ash are abused in real time in the anime and then it's used to 'justify' their promiscuity with men moving forward.

Banana Fish in no way handles the sexual assault tactfully, no matter what people have said to me.

This is an extract I agree with heavily from a pretty well written article (Banana Fish spoilers) :

I mentioned earlier the finale sent an awful message to new viewers. Ash’s story was about survival so for him to easily give up, in the end, sent a horrible message to survivors of sexual violence because it not only told them a moment of vulnerability would get them killed, but the only way survivors could find any peace was through death. The fact that Ash gave up, told survivors they could never escape from their traumas and despite all their efforts, they would never be able to heal from their abusive circumstances.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thatnerdyboliviane.com/2019/01/21/banana-fish-a-bittersweet-experience/amp/

'Kill your gays' is a bad trope in any case but really was an especially poor choice here.

Part 5: Sex Sells and Gay Sex Advertises

I've mentioned above how manga and anime likes to package gay relationships into problematic little bundles and sell it to straight women as a curiosity or oddity. But I really think that it needs to be talked about more. Things shouldn't be more interesting to you just because they're gay, and fetishising minorities is never okay in any context.

I think it's important to note that really the attitudes in both Western and Japanese media are actually the exact same. That being, Gay people are 'others' and should at all costs be hidden away into corners. The only real difference is that Japan is known for selling that kind of content, lumping it in the same category as tentacle hentai and... I don't know any other categories but the point stands. Whereas western media tends to just sequester it into a corner and hope it gets past censorship boards and Karen's. Money is at the forefront of both of these descisions.

It's a real problem that both sides of the anime culture are so problematic. One side is way too into it and the other can't begin to process it.

Here's a video by the same person that covers basically the same ground that's concerning me so much.

https://youtu.be/t3FKlqDocQ4

Part 6: In conclusion

I feel like this is something that is worth being angry about. I'm just sick of how being gay is treated at the moment in anime, tv and film, and how it's being received by straight audiences. The LGBTQ+ community barely seems to get a real say half of the time because people are too busy being head over heels that the author confirmed in an interview that a character is bi or gay but never follows through with it in universe. Or when you try and create content for yourself and get criticised like you were supposed to be happy about what little representation you get in mainstream media. Like shows do the bare minimum and then we're supposed to be happy about it. But I ain't. And I don't think many other people are either.

TLDR:

Gay people being treated like a taboo little secret on both sides of the issue is insulting and gross and never leads to anything good.