#also secret eddie horse girl?? it’s more likely than you think!

[klausinamarink]

klausi!! 🤍 i wanna bombard you with all these prompts but!!

91 "Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it." and/or 12 "I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

or

64 "Can I hold your hand?” and/or 79 "i like being close to you. you’re warm."

am i being too demanding :/ feel free to ignore this mwah! 🫶

dio!!! omg so great to hear from you! And don’t you worry you’re not demanding! these prompts are fantastic and I hope I did them justice for you 🫡 hope you can excuse the slight length and lateness

—

Steve loves Eddie.

It’s a fact as obvious as the monsters underneath everyone’s feet that haunted his sleeping state for years. It’s the truth that he has since accepted as part of something under his heart and bones, but is well too aware that if released, it can be ugly for everyone else.

Even with Robin, Steve just knows that if he even mumbles a fucking vowel, her first reaction would be, “Eddie would not like you.”

Okay, that’s just disrespectful to his platonic soulmate. Her first reaction would definitely be happy gasping, begging for details, using his love advice against him and strike multiple tally marks on the YOU RULE whiteboard.

But everyone else? Yeah, Steve can already see the disgust and contempt on their faces.

It would hurt more if Eddie’s one of them.

But fuck it. Steve’s always been the ‘rip the bandaid off’ kind of guy, especially when it comes to crushes. That’s why he’s going to tell Eddie first, future heartbreak and emotional breakdown be damned.

So here he is: driving down the road to the countryside that’s more farmland than actual farmhouses to the new Munson home.

And just as if the gods are giving him pity, Eddie’s already in the long driveway, leading Lucky out of the horse trailer.

It had surprised everyone that Eddie’s new job post-Vecna was a farmhand for a nearby horse ranch. But there’s not really a lot of other positions in Hawkins that would accept a falsely accused man who now hates the town even more for the witch hunt. The ranch on the other hand hadn’t cared much about Eddie’s history and had been quick to hire him for training shortly after the move.

Steve parks on the roadside just front of the house. Eddie seems too attentive with Lucky to notice his car yet, a gloved hand always petting the horse’s snout as he gently pulls the reins to the direction of the massive yard. Eddie has a gentle smile on his face, the one where the dimples show and gives him a little glow to the face.

It makes Steve smile too.

Eddie just looks so much happier. 

He takes a deep breath and gets out of the car, the chilly November air and horse stink welcoming him. That snaps Eddie’s attention towards him, the smile breaking into a grin.

“Steve!” He cries out with a quick wave. Lucky gives a rather loud snort in greeting. 

“Hey, Eds.” Steve waves back before jerking a chin up to the golden-brown horse as he walks up. “Taking Lucky to a timeout again?”

Eddie snorts, shaking his head, “I swear this horse either likes me more or he’s being a bastard on purpose for his owners.”

Apparently, out of all of the horses in the ranch, Lucky is the more “devil’s child” (which Eddie had described with a voice of an old Texas man). Steve hasn’t witnessed the actions himself, but the stories range from nipping other horses to clomping the front of a vehicle into smithereens for no reason except for an undisclosed hatred to the human race.

So predictably, Eddie is one of the very few humans who have the privilege to be Lucky’s close friends. 

(“Honestly, I think this horse is an agent from the Upside Down. Steve, listen to me. I’ve faced a hoard of demobats but that horse scares me.” Eddie tells him one afternoon, just a week after being the new ranch hire. Steve listens to it all, but his eyes are on the ever wild gestures and lit cigarette dangerously close to burning his hair.

“If you’re afraid of it, then hasn’t it like,” Steve makes his best impression of a horse stomping someone to death.

Eddie snorts, taking a drag of his cigarette. “I guess I’m a braver motherfucker than I thought or Lucky just likes me better than the normal folk.”

I like you better too. Way more than the whole town. It’s not Steve’s first thought and it’s far from the last one he wishes to say alo.)

As Eddie leads Lucky alongside the fence of the pasture, Steve follows from behind, keeping a very safe distance from Lucky and his back legs of severe injury. Then Eddie opens the gate, letting Lucky run into the pasture. 

Steve puts his arms on the fence, watching the horse gallop around and kicking up dirt clouds. He looks over at Eddie, who’s mirroring him but his gaze is on Steve. He smiles again, making Steve’s heart do a double flip.

“What is it?” Steve asks.

Eddie doesn’t answer. He only shuffles closer until their sides are pressing to each other. Then he tucks his chin onto Steve’s shoulder, his nose brushing the cheek. “I like being close to you. You’re warm.” Eddie finally says in a hushed voice like he’s sharing a secret.

Steve almost says it.

He almost tells Eddie, “I love you.”

But the words don’t come out. They feel blocked in his mouth. Like there’s one last gate to go through and Steve can’t find the key for it. It feels like he’s back in high school, fresh faced and still navigating the brutal castle that would chew him up and spit him out.

It feels frustrating that when the perfect opportunity for the confession is literally leaning against him, he can’t say it.

He’s scared now. That he’ll spit it out like an afterthought or say something like “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified” and have Eddie push him under Lucky’s hooves of death. 

Eddie’s still looking at him. His eyes are hooded but cautious. He looks vulnerable. With the rays of sunlight still shining behind him, he looks beautiful.

Steve glances down at their hands. They hang limp over the fence, their pinkies barely touching. He swallows and says in a similar hushed voice, “Can I hold your hand?”

Eddie’s expression warms, his smile turning more tender. He takes off his gloves and slowly wraps his hand around Steve’s. His palm feels too smooth and sweaty with his pulse going wild. 

It’s honestly perfect.

“This okay?” Eddie whispers.

Steve resists the urge to pinch between his eyebrows, hoping to blink away the sudden tears. “Yeah.”

Later, he would finally tell Eddie the three blessed words.

[bunnyanqel]

You're So Pretty (It Hurts) (1)

[1] [2] [3]

Summary: When the hot girl from the bar invites Eddie back to hers, he seizes the chance to lose his virginity. But his nerves grab a hold, and before he can think twice, he explains his predicament. He expects laughter and a door in the face. He expects pity and discomfort. But he especially doesn't expect her to be on board with the whole ‘deflowering’ thing, even eager to be his first. He'll be damned if he looks a gift horse—or, in this case, a very hot willing girl—in the mouth. And he sure as shit isn't going to waste this chance.

Content: NSFW, 18+, MDNI, soft sex, safe sex, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, gentle kissing, soft eddie, submissive eddie, touch-starved eddie, eddie munson has a big dick, ambigious/open ending

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 also on AO3 ! 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

Eddie had a lot of secrets but they were largely just embarrassing, like his affinity for hair-braiding, or his variety of sweet-perfumed body care products. Sometimes a guy just wanted to smell like a strawberry poundcake, okay?

But the biggest one by far—the one he never brought up, never hinted at—was that he was a virgin.

At first, it hadn’t been a big deal, hadn’t been a hardship. At first, it hadn’t been something he’d wanted; he was young and handsome and it would happen…some day. But then he started getting older, and he still hadn’t found anyone, and everywhere he looked, his friends had found somebody. Jeff and Samantha, Gareth and Parker. Hell, even fucking Wheeler, the most annoying shithead Eddie had ever known, had a girlfriend.

He’d ignored it for the most part, ignored the jokes and well-meaning comments about setting him with this friend and that friend, ignored the pang of loneliness that bloomed hot behind his ribcage at the small kisses and hand-holding.

Until he couldn’t.

Until he wasn’t satisfied being the odd one out, the permanently single, undateable friend that never seemed to settle down. Until he found himself desperate for the human connection he’d brushed away in high school, hungry for the kisses and small gestures that his friends indulged in happily, hungry for much, much more than that. Starved for it.

Which was how he found himself in Brittany Ronan’s bedroom, a little buzzed and more than hopeful to finally lose his virginity. But the question was if he should tell her, if he should let her know it might be shit because he’d never done it before.

His belly muscles cramped with nerves as he hovered anxiously in her doorway, scanning her bedroom, taking in the brown gingham bedspread and the plush carpet that her bare feet sank into. Procrastinating, because who really wanted to tell the hot girl who’d brought them back to her place that, oh yeah, they were a virgin?

Just the prospect made his throat close up, even as he shuffled into her bedroom slowly, cautiously.

“Are you okay, Eddie?”

Her accented voice broke his thoughts, his eyes picking out her silhouette in the dim room, backlit by a small desk lamp. And even though he couldn’t see her clearly, he knew her gaze was on him, soft, warm, affectionate.

“I…” His voice broke on the words, and he was unable to go on, to explain his hesitation.

“Are you uncomfortable?” she pressed, her voice just as soft as before, concerned. Then she approached, the whisper of her clothes the only sound between them until she stood close enough to touch. The lack of space made it easier to see her face, read her expression. There was nothing but concern, maybe a little confusion, in her expressive, big brown eyes.

“I-I’m okay, uh, I think. It’s just—” The words cracked through an octave, his voice pitched high with anxiety, and he swallowed hard. His throat was tight with a crowding of emotions, the most prominent uncertainty. Of how she’d take the news, of how she’d react, and most importantly how he’d feel once it was out in the open.

“It’s okay.”

A pause and then her hesitant fingertips glanced off his chest, right where his heart was located, and then settled flush.

“Do you need a minute?”

Damn it, he wasn’t sure what he’d expected in the face of his discomfort but it certainly hadn’t been…this. Her kindness, her her patience, her constantly giving him an out if he wanted it.

Any moisture in his mouth dried as he stood there, heart hammering, the pulse of it pounding through his entire body, his fingertips, his wrists, his throat. The words choked him, clogged his throat like a hunk of meat suffocating him.

“It’s fine if you do, Eddie. Would you like something to drink?”

He inhaled at the question, the air he sucked down perfumed with her scent. A mix of clean and something faintly fragrant, faintly sweet. It was better than some of the unpleasant smells he’d encountered in his life, acrid smoke from burnt dinners or the pungent aroma of marijuana.

“Uh-huh,” he croaked, his voice strangled and a rasp, focusing on the feel of her hand on his chest. Its warmth, its solidness. He wet his lips, feeling more than seeing how her eyes tracked the path.

“Okay. You want water? Milk? Tea? I’ve got—” A pause, her hips twitching back and forth. “That’s all I’ve got.” An embarrassed smile curled her lips up, crinkling the corners of her eyes as they snapped back to his.

“I—um, yeah. A drink—a drink would be—it’d be great.” He cleared his throat roughly. “Really great, actually.” By some miracle, he was able to shake off some of the dazedness, shed some of that anxiety that had choked him.

She stared up at him for a minute longer, lamplight highlighting her broad features, softened the keenness of her eyes, and he had the urge to just lean down and kiss her mouth. It looked soft and pliant, inviting, and he knew she wouldn’t reject him. And even with just her hand on him, he wanted her plastered against him, feel every curve of her body, savor the heat and silken texture of her dark skin.

“Water sound good?” she asked finally, backing away, and he clenched his jaw against the overwhelming desire to grab her hand and place it back on him.

At his nod, she darted around him and padded down the hallway leisurely, the stick of her bare feet on the linoleum fading the further she got.

Now alone with himself, the anxiety relaxed its icy tendrils, letting him inhale shakily and venture deeper into Brittany’s bedroom. It was easier to take in now that he wasn’t on the verge of a freak-out, luxuriating in the plush carpet underneath his feet, examining the scattered polaroids she had pinned to her vanity mirror.

Pictures of friends and family flanked her in almost every one, but his favorite was a solitary photograph—her on a pier somewhere, dressed in a one-piece, her curls still wet from swimming. She wasn’t aware the picture was being taken, and her expression was relaxed, her eyes lidded and pensive.

“That was taken the summer I graduated college.”

At the sound of her voice, he straightened, heart racing, caught, and wheeled around, an explanation already rising to his lips that fell away when he caught sight of her face. She didn’t look…angry; in fact, she looked a little amused, eyes crinkled, a penciled eyebrow quirked.

His heart slowed to a slower beat, and the feeling of being caught with his hand in the cookie jar ebbed.

So she didn’t think he was a creep, if her expression was anything to go by.

“I…got curious,” he admitted shyly, tongue darting to wet his dry lips as his heart thumped painfully behind his ribcage. He didn’t miss the way her gaze dropped to his lips, tracking his tongue’s path, before it flicked back to his eyes.

“No worries. It’s not exactly a secret; they’re out in the open.” She pushed off the doorframe, padded damn near silently across the bedroom to him, held up a glass of iced water. “Here you are, kind sir.” An adorable giggle-snort as he took the cold glass, condensation running down his wrist.

While he took sips and let it soothe him, she grasped his hand and led him to bed, flopping down without grace. The bed bounced her, bounced her breasts, and it took all his sheer will power to keep his eyes on her face. On her freckled, broad nose and her thick, inviting lips and the way she peeked at him through her eyelashes like she was coy. Which he knew she wasn’t, not by the way she’d had no qualms dancing and flirting unabashedly with him in the bar. Or inviting him back to hers.

Familiar anxiety started to swell in his belly, prickled along the back of his scalp, as he just stood there, staring at her, wondering if this was…well, it. That was if she didn’t wrinkle her nose at him and laugh him out the door for being a virgin so late in his life.

But he couldn’t see her doing so, not with how gently she’d treated him.

“Something wrong?” she asked, a pucker in her brow, as she stared back at him.

He hesitated for a second before following her lead, albeit slower thanks to his drink, and sank down onto the mattress beside her. It felt like sitting on a cloud, and he almost groaned at the idea of sleeping on it instead of his rickety pull-out. His back would love it.

There wasn’t an ounce of space between them, her warm leg pressed soundly against his, and through the denim of his thrifted jeans, he could feel the heat of her skin. He could only imagine how soft it was based on its gleaming skin, shiny under the dim light, and he couldn’t drag his eyes away for more than a few minutes.

“Eddie,” Brittany said slowly, and his senses pricked at the edge in her voice, “did I—I’m sorry. Did I—” She stopped, licked her lips. “Did I read this wrong? I mean, you. In the bar. Did I—Did I get it wrong?” She stammered over the words like she was scared of them, or maybe the possibility he wasn’t as willing as she’d originally thought, or maybe the idea that she’d misread the entire situation.

“No!” he blurted and winced at his volume. “I mean—”

Turning the glass back and forth in his hands as he stared down at it, he fought to collect his thoughts. To gather his mind enough from the lust and anxiety to string together a sentence. He was usually so good with words, being a D&D nerd and all, but words were failing him now, clogging his throat.

“Because if you’re uncomfortable, if you don’t want this, that’s perfectly fine. We can always pick this up another night.”

God, she was so fucking patient with him like he was a wounded animal. Considerate like she’d known him forever instead of a few hours.

“I haven’t…” The words were a dry rasp, and he swallowed hard. Gazed down at where his hands were curled around the cup, his knuckles white. The bracelet on his left wrist shivered, and he realized that he was trembling, fucking trembling.

“You haven’t what, Eddie?”

“This,” he said softly. “Any of this. This is my—my—”

She was silent, and he examined her calm face, trying to find any signs that she’d heard what he said, comprehended what he didn’t.

He stared at her, at the slope of her bare shoulders, the swell of her breasts, her pulse, trying and failing to find any hint of discomfort, a clue to her thoughts.

“Your anxiety makes sense now,” she said at long last. “I—if you’re uncomfortable…you can leave if you’d like. I’m not going to make you stay against your will.”

“Oh.” He snorted. “It wouldn’t be against my will. At all.”

Her nostrils flared as she flushed, a crimson blush coloring her face beneath her dark-brown complexion, her eyes rounding at his remark.

His heartbeat pounded in his throat.

“Well, if it isn’t against your will, Mr. Rockstar, might I propose a solution? One I want and one you’re free to reject.”

He wouldn’t deny that his interest was piqued. What could she say? Unlike the romance books—bodice rippers—he read from time to time, he had no illusions about how this would go. This was reality, where things didn’t get wrapped up neatly with a bow. And what woman who’d let him into her apartment with the intention of a hookup—

Brittany’s voice dragged him away from his thoughts and thrust him into white-hot shock.

“If you’re agreeable, I’d—I’d like to be your first. If you want, of course.”

[2007digitalremaster]

Stranger Things daemon headcanons

Steve Harrington: Red Setter. Steve's normie, mainstream vibe is classic gundog material. Red setters are sporty, friendly, and can come across as a little empty between the ears because they're not always paying attention to what you want them to pay attention to (you). Setters are positioned in HDM as "classy" dogs, something that's reflected in their breed's history as they were for years bred for beauty and status over hunting ability, which I think aligns neatly with both Steve's actual socioeconomic status and his struggle to stop focusing on social status.

Billy Hargrove: American Mustang. Mustangs are polarizing horses, considered by some to be pests to be broken and put to use but at the same time symbols of the American West, representing freedom, independence, power, and the inability to be tamed. Horses in general are associated with athleticism, restlessness, virility, and beauty. Historically horses have been aligned with the ocean, including being created out of waves by Poseidon and being directly equated with the sea - both being beautiful but dangerous, unpredictable, and demanding of respect. Last but certainly not least... Girls Love Them.

Eddie Munson: Virginia Opossum. Just a skrunkly little guy. But it's not just that opossums are skrunkly, it's also that their two main defense mechanisms are "open up your mouth real big and make big sound so the people you're afraid of think you're not afraid of them" and "do NOT engage problem." That is to say, they're theatrical loudmouths with a bit of a cowardly streak that would be ripe for a reluctant or unlikely hero plotline. Opossums also tend to be vilified, commonly believed to be garbage pests that carry disease rather than being appreciated for the clean-up crew and tick control they are. And, well, in some parts of the States, opossums are eaten. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nancy Wheeler: Shetland Sheepdog (Sheltie). Known to be an incredibly trustworthy, reliable and intelligent little dog. As dogs of primarily herder heritage with a piercing bark, Shelties can come across as controlling, and know how to use the power of their voice and personality to make what they want happen. Shelties are also one of the original designer breeds; for much of their history they have been bred with the explicit primary goal of looking like a small rough collie, meaning they are not taken seriously as a working dog (for good reason, considering most Shelties don't have any real-world herding experience), but do carry along some rough collie "Lassie" associations like being responsible and protective.

Jonathan Byers: Barred Owl. Owls are silent, solitary observers in the night, designed to perceive and not to be perceived. More than that, they are designed to use their huge, cylindrical eyes (which Wikipedia describes as being like a telephoto camera lens) to see that which is hidden to others - usually framed culturally as owls having an eye specifically for secrets, knowledge, and/or truth. Between their predilection for lurking undetected and their devastatingly accurate perception, they can be frequently considered creepy or off-putting. I picked barred owls specifically for Jonathan because they are native to Indiana, lack the expressive head tufts of some other owls, and are notable among owls for how incredibly protective they are of their homes and families.

Robin Buckley: Budgerigar (Budgie). These colorful, distinct little birds are chatty and musical, with a skilled ear for picking up human languages. Budgies are known for being friendly, but in actual fact getting them to warm up to you can take a lot of time and effort. Owners of budgies will tell you they're clever and investigative, needing plenty of fun things to play with and pick apart to avoid them making mischief out of boredom. They will also tell you budgies are a bit of a bull in a china shop, both when it comes to their relationships with other birds and in regards to eating/bathing. Unfortunately, budgies' talkative nature can result in them being branded as "annoying" by unprepared owners.

Bonus non-form-related daemon headcanons in this separate post (I couldn't help myself).

[buttered-milky]

Putting notes for myself and anyone else who might want to expand on this(?) here as I watch this for the fourth time in my life:

Spoiler warning for Jennifer's Body, if anyone cares

First off initial thoughts actually before I start the watch - this is a p good template for any sort of AU.

bi4bi. girlbossing. eating men. “She asked for no pickles” as literally an opening dynamic. The fucked up demonology of trying to sacrifice someone. Loser4loser alliances all around. Just some really weird girl trying to work through complicated feelings for her best friend.

(Secret bonus: the best friend can throw up ferrofluid which is so cool to me)

Okay speedrun the main points of Jennifer: she is a succubus. except she doesn't really fuck people, just seduces and then eats them. she was created because she was erroneously offered as a virgin sacrifice to satan, and since she is not a virgin, she came back wrong. she has to eat people to keep herself in good health. I mean, the worst that happens to her in the movie when she's hungry is that she gets grumpy and looks a little sick and sometimes her hair falls out. but the eating is kind of an innate instinct anyway. it's implied she can't eat normal food since she throws it up. she can be killed pretty much any way, though the movie advises stabbing through the heart to be safe.

OKAY OKAY MOVIES STARTING TIME TO ESSENTIALLY LIVE TWEET THIS AS NOTES

Jennifer…owns a horse?? I did not notice that in my first three viewings. it's not important to these notes but it's important to me

Ur damn right hell is a teenage girl. Also I like the firsthand telling of this. I don’t think writing this in first person would be the worst actually. Plus I mean…eddie is a storyteller. Like Needy!

Jennifer's cheerleader status is a free excuse to make Steve a cheerleader

Mein Gott the constant flirting between Jennifer and Needy. of course that would be necessary in any silly fic and any AU but yknow

The immense potential of “I wish more guys wore eyeliner” coming from Steve. the immense potential of bonding over how pretty rockstars are

Don’t u just love when trying to protect ur friend’s reputation ends up getting them erroneously sacrificed (not included in the fic idc that much)

They absolutely must hold hands. And eddie absolutely must have an “am I sure about this” moment

I cannot believe I didn’t consider the possibility Jennifer got drugged beforehand she is like Extra incoherent in those ten minutes (not important to the fic but again important to me)

Y’know under normal circumstances I’d put chrissy in chip’s place but I see this as post s4 so…but do what u want

I Love the came back wrong trope. Plus her slow smile here is so

The POWERFUL homoeroticism of “Are you scared?” And then kissing your friend’s neck after they nod

Writing Steve as Jennifer also has immense potential for bitchy moments. That’s like Jennifer’s main fucking quality. Although I do tend to think one of the only reasons Jennifer kills so many people is because she’s a bitch in the first place. Like the curse cranks her up to eleven.

Survivor’s guilt Noted

COLIN IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS ENTIRE DAMN MOVIE HES SUCH A LOSER okay back to notes

Dying and coming back wrong and getting Disney princess abilities so animals will watch you kill someone Noted

Needy is such a good Eddie template her mom is also presumably working nights

Side note to self: the bimbo heart outfit is actually very cute use that in a drawing.

They SHOULD watch rocky horror together

MY GOD COLIN IS SUCH A NERD if I didn't want this to last more than ten seconds as a fic I'd make Eddie him. he is the exact same brand of alternative kind of pathetic loser boy I love him. maybe in someone else's oneshot but not in my fic

"Are you scared? I mean I thought boys like you were really into vermin and death and shit" noted. "I need you frightened" NOTED

seeing your undead best friend while having sex NOTED

Ah yes, the important aspect of supernatural strength. crank that jock strength up to eleven babey

"We always share your bed when we have slumber parties"

there is also something to be said about killing everyone your best friend is even remotely interested in all while hardcore flirting with them

not relevant to notes but relevant to me: the band that sacrifices Jennifer kinda has some homosexual tendencies I never noticed Side Eye "that's a hot murder weapon" "it's a bowie knife" "bowie? nice" okay

"I woke up, and I found my way back to you" "I couldn't bring myself to hurt you" and of course "we can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to" all in the same scene

While we're here: I’m not gonna do this but if anyone else runs with this idea and also likes rockstar eddie, you gotta remember the band from this movie quite literally did sacrifice Jennifer for fame. Some lameass bar band did that. Idk man just saying there’s potential there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ridiculous ass high school dance outfits GO

man she's trying super hard to drown him girl just go crocodile mode death roll that shit

oh I forgot she can just have shark teeth whenever she wants. okay cool. oh and she can (kind of) fly (it's just hovering like she's in the exorcist)

"I thought you only murdered boys" "I go both ways" BISEXUALITYYYY (yet another reason I need Steve to be this)

whoever I choose to be my chip stand in has to die (unless, of course, I just don't care that much. which for once I might not.)

"I think I already died but I woke up when I heard your voice" is this a chip line? yes. is it still so fanfiction? yes

yeah I do think I will keep the "biting my best friend's neck and then levitating us both and holding onto her with my legs" bit

aaaand absent parents coming in clutch for that sad sort of fucked up ending! Steve Harrington I have never been so glad to have never seen your parents even once it transfers so well onto this au

I will probably not include the aftermath bits in a fic but it is a pretty cool implication

I am making no commitments to writing any of this, but if anyone else wants to use these notes/ideas for something, go for it. doesn't even have to be a Jennifer's body au, there are just some banger lines here regardless.

Vampire eddie this vampire eddie that blah blah WHERE are the Jennifer’s body Steve fics Hm??? There is potential here I must say

[madamewriterofwrongs]

my darling, cj, hello!! 9-1-1 as marvel characters or disney character 💛

Well hello, sunshine! How I’ve missed your face.

I’ve already done a 9-1-1 Marvel AU so let’s talk Disney.

Now, your girl loves her Disney so we’re going to narrow it down to Walt Disney Animated Studios Leading Characters.

Let’s go!

Bobby - Elsa (Frozen). Has a dark secret that no one in their life knows about. A family death is the inciting incident for change that causes initial stress but ultimate happiness. Perpetually tired of their family’s sh*t and having to explain very basic concepts (like: you can’t marry someone you just met, or don’t use an axe when there might be a baby in the wall). When their secret finally does surface, it’s explosive and hurts their loved ones. Ice Skating.

Bonus: Bagheera (The Jungle Book). Ends up with more immature children than he knows how to handle.

-

Athena - Esmerelda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame). Fights for what she thinks is right. Thinks outside the box. There’s a softness for those she cares for and a swift kick in the nuts for those she doesn’t. Enjoys some sexy times but only when she’s in control. Has a kid who is ready to throw down at all times. Falls for the boring guy. 

Bonus: Shang (Mulan). Motivated by the loss of a loved one and a desire for parental approval. Would love to kick your ass if you even try to give up the good fight. 

-

Chimney - Judy Hopps (Zootopia). Big dreams in a tiny body. Smart and fast and endearingly ambitious. Makes friends everywhere just by being a decent human being. #WorkplaceDiscrimination. Big family and growing by the second but somewhat ignored by their parents. Uneasy friendship with an old bully (Tommy). Generally underestimated which proves to be an asset. Falls for a fox.

Bonus: Bernard (The Rescuers). Superstitious. Dragged into danger by his kind-of girlfriend.

-

Hen - Lilo (Lilo and Stitch). “Ohana” means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten. Sees someone she likes and immediately adopts them. The definition of Chaotic Good energy. Will bite a bitch because she deserves it. Struggles to keep her family together (and kind of messes it up). Will go to the ends of the earth for her found family. Mistakes are forgiven, your past is your own, she just loves you now.

Bonus: Nala (The Lion King). An endearing troublemaker and a serious but kind-hearted rebel who fights for what’s right.

-

Buck - Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet). Comes from a broken family but no matter what, there was an older female family member he could always rely on. Adventurous and rebellious to the point of destruction. Finds a guiding hand in a mentor who isn’t perfect but loves him like a son. Uses his skills to save people and do good. Previous hair choices we don’t like to talk about.

Bonus: Hercules (Hercules). Falls for an older woman. Knows less about the world than his muscles would suggest. Has headbutt a horse.

-

Eddie - Eric (The Little Mermaid). Struggles to find a balance between duty and desire. A traditional beauty with a booty and dark, flowing locks. Relies heavily on the advice of his elders. Humble and kind. Abhors the spotlight despite his profession/nobility. Loves doing reckless things if it means saving others. Kind of a dumbass but in a mature way...somehow - like you don’t notice it right away.

Bonus: Tiana (The Princess and the Frog). Driven by duty and hard work and yet, somehow, veers straight into danger with another dumbass. 

-

Maddie - Wendy (Peter Pan). Placed into a maternal position way too young, but she loves her brother(s) and will do anything to care for those in her charge. Kind and curious and maybe a little judgmental, but look at the people she spends time with. Seems helpless but in the face of real danger, she will throw down. She is also completely unafraid to stand up for herself in any situation. 

Bonus: Rapunzel (Tangled). Escapes an abusive relationship. Has definitely hit her boyfriend with a frying pan.

-

Michael - Pacha (The Emperor’s New Groove). Constantly getting pulled into other people’s sh*t but eventually finds it very fun. Loves his family more than anything. If he can teach you a lesson and judge you while doing it, he absolutely will. Almost loses everything but ends up gaining something special because two people are trapped together for an indeterminate amount of time.

Bonus: Pongo (101 Dalmatians). Weird meet-cute. Will fight for his family but not, like, directly.

Prompt Me with AUs

[mrs-theirin]

also! you still havent told me about eden's exes *nudge wink*

only took me a full year 🤡

all the others (& you)

ship: hawke x varric (among others) wc: 1,494 rating: t notes: it’s about all of eden’s relationships what more could you want

[AO3 link]

age 4 

Frayed, dirty, and perfect. Dust collects on her stuffed animal like cobwebs in an attic. 

A tiny Eden Hawke wraps her small hands around his knitted face and calls him, “bubby,” baby-speak for, “boyfriend”. She loves him. She loves him as she loves cake, as she loves bubble baths, as she loves when her father creates explosions from his staff, orange and red and yellow sparking in a dance of flame. 

When the neighbor runs away from her, screaming about danger Eden doesn’t understand, she’s forced to leave Bubby in that same attic, collecting cobwebs like the rest of it all. It hurts just as bad as any breakup.

~

age 9 

Now taught to be cautious around others, Eden is scared to speak. A goddess with golden hair and eyes as green as emeralds walks by her home every day, and she is enraptured. She doesn’t understand what she feels, not really, but she stares, bright blue eyes following the girl as she passes.

On a day where the sky opens up and rain pours from the clouds, the girl slips. Ever helpful, Eden rushes to her aid, helping her to her feet with blush spreading as far as her neck. Hands brush. The girl’s normally sunny hair is darkened with mud and Eden sees her for what she really is, an angel fallen from grace. Dirtied from the mud, the girl looks much more human.

Attainable. 

They have a short relationship, but a sweet one. Neither realize the gravity of their quick pecks on the cheek or playful hand holding. When the girl moves to a new home, Eden feels hollow and alone. Her angel has returned home, and she is shackled back to the cold, dark house, instead being directed to the role of big sister. The twins are two years old now, after all. Someone has to look after them.

~

age 14 

With the new ability to control her magic, Eden is allowed a little farther out of the house. Only permitted to roam the grass fields beside their home, she frolics, relishing in the way the tall grains of wheat tickle her skin. 

When two brown eyes peek out at her through the grass, the same color as his skin, she screams and falls to the ground. A wide, gap-toothed grin follows, and a warm hand helps her to her feet, steadying her as she regains her balance. He’s 16, old enough to wander out by himself, he says. She wouldn’t know, she replies. 

“Can I show you something?” he asks. 

Daring a quick glance at her house, uneasy, she nods slowly, tightening her grip on his hand as he drags her away, running at top speed. With her feet pounding against the ground, her black hair flying in the wind, the wheat whipping against her skin, she has never felt more alive. He is not just showing her what it is to be free from her house, he’s showing her what it’s like to be free. Free of worry, free of cares, free of responsibilities. He whisks her away to a secret spot by the water and returns her a different girl.

When it’s discovered Eden has been running off unsupervised for months—and with a boy, no less—she’s forbidden to leave the house. The boy looks for her every now and then. One day he stops coming.

~

age 15 

A girl with hair as red as the fire Eden can conjure replaces her last, and Eden is as grateful as one can be. Soft kisses shared behind bales of hay enlighten her. Nights of brushing each other’s hair, hands gentle and caring, hushed giggles falling from their lips. She is beautiful.

I love her, Eden thinks, and for once in her life, she is sure. 

When the girl makes snowflakes with her magic, Eden is certain. She understands. She won’t run. She won’t scream. She channels the same energy Eden does, beautiful and bright, warm and cold and free. Papa warns Eden of the danger of their magic, but she doesn’t mind. They’re safe. In the hidden reaches of the Hawke barn, they’re safe. No Templar can touch them there.

When her love calls, she comes. When she beckons, she obliges. So young and hopeful, they feel as if they'll float together forever. 

Eden feels the weight of a thousand pounds settle on her chest when her love is taken away, finally revealed as a mage, and swears she’ll never love another the way she loved her.

~

age 17 

Brown hair that falls in front of his eyes like waves, eyes as dark and stormy and blue as the sea, lips as pink as a ripe peach; Edward Colmes is a god among men. A perfect gentleman, poised and refined, with a grin as charming as his speech. Eddie, he says. Call me Eddie. 

Eden is trapped. 

His mouth casts a spell of its own, without magic, filling Eden’s head with thoughts of love and devotion. In just a few months, Eddie has Eden wrapped around his finger tight. In a moving sea of danger, uncertainty, and doubt, Eddie is her shore. 

It takes three years to notice anything’s wrong. 

Eddie’s hands are possessive, not caring. Eddie’s eyes are predatory, not loving. His mouth is devouring, not gentle—devouring like the ocean during a tsunami, destroying everything in its path, looking as beautiful as ever as it does so. Being around Eddie is like being in a haze, surrounded by fog that seeps within and creates doubt, that turns thoughts into vague ideas, that twists resentment into need of reassurance. Eden loses possession of her thoughts, handing them over to Eddie with apologetic fervor. 

When she’s 21 years old, her father pulls her aside. “Songbird,” he warns, warm brown eyes gentle and worried. “That boy’s no good for you.”

Instead of listening, she locks the door to Eddie’s cage herself, content to be caged for the rest of her life. Eddie visits with another’s lips whispering across his own, and she pretends not to notice. Eddie is gentle when he murmurs, “Edie,” into her ear, his kisses anything but gentle as he moves down her neck, to her chest, and below. 

He is slow and tender and kind when he touches her, his thin fingers trailing down her uncorrupted body, and he is even sweeter when he is the first to take her. To claim her as his. He is all of these things, and yet, Eden feels a dark nest of horrible feelings and insecurities boiling in her chest, growing into a terrible pit in her stomach. 

She hears, I love you, but he says, I own you. 

She hears, You’re mine, but he says, You’re mine. 

When she’s 22, he says, I’ve found someone new, and she hears, You were never worth anything anyway.

~

age 31 

In Varric’s arms, she is worth everything. 

He lies, but not to her. Never to her. 

When her name is spoken on his tongue, it is like honey and wine and good bread shared with good friends. It’s like standing on top of a building to scream your love to anyone who will listen, it’s the rush of standing outside in a storm, it’s everything good wrapped into one little word: Eden. 

When he sees her, really sees her—not Hawke, not the Champion, not the impossible legend the citizens of Kirkwall have built up over the years—it is like being stripped of every insecurity she’s ever had, of any grief, fear, anger, any negative emotion she’s ever felt in her life. She’s a new person when Varric looks at her. 

His gaze is full of admiration. When he looks at her, there is no possession, no lust, no need for control. He is looking at her, not what he can get from her. He is looking at the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs, at the way her lips curl upwards when she’s up to no good, at the way her chest rises and falls when she’s deep in thought. 

Stolen glances across the table during Wicked Grace are enough to get her heart pounding, galloping in her chest like a wild horse. Eden doesn’t have to prove herself to Varric; he’ll love her at her highest and at her lowest, when she’s painted with purple and red, when her face is bare and her lips are that perfect shade of pink, when she’s beaten down and bloody and bruised. He loves every scar, every blemish, every weird mole, because he loves her.

And she loves him. More than Bubby, more than the blonde goddess, more than the boy in the fields, more than the red-haired mage, and certainly, definitely, more than Edward Colmes. 

More than herself. 

More than anyone can possibly love another. 

And she thinks, maybe, just maybe, all the others were worth it, if it meant she can have him now. 

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Ouroboros (S2, E8)

The hiatus almost killed me. So glad we have new content <3

As usual, my time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:04 - That scarf is so extra.

0:26 - OH LOOK THE FIRST SUNSHINE SIGHTING OF SEASON TWO!!! It only took 8 episodes. *insert eyeroll*

0:40 - Ugh. This montage makes me hate Hoxley. He embodies the type of human I abhor: self-important, egotistic, obsessed with appearance.

1:19 - “No I didn’t.” LMAO. Mr. David is so done with Martin’s bullshit.

1:36 - That makeshift shiv in the dude’s arm.....that’s Daryl’s shiv from a few episodes ago right? Am I going crazy?

 2:25 - Sooooo Birdie hasn’t left New York? She’s moved into the Milton’s “Murrayville Building”. Huh. Wait. Was Birdie in the house when Malcolm and Ainsley fought? Do you think she heard?!? Birdie might become a problem for the Whitly’s later this season....I hope?

2:43 - Jessica doesn’t know about the contents of the fight. Interesting. How long has it been since the end of 2x7? 

2:58 - “I’ll be there at 8.” hahaha OMG. I swear Malcolm was a terror during his ‘rebellious teenager’ phase.

3:38 - Yep. This fog horn reinforces the fact that I believe Hoxley is a dick. 

3:40 - Awww.... the way Malcolm jumps/flinches at the fog horn is both hilarious and adorable.

3:58 - “And who the hell are you?” YES GIL. YES. Don’t let him talk like that to Malcolm <3

4:04 - Duuuuude. Gil looks pissed and scared. He does not like Europol snooping around his crimes. ALSO I’m like 95% sure that Gil knows (or at least has a hunch) that Malcolm is somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. I’m pretty sure Gil is scared that this dude is going to try and arrest Malcolm. 

4:07 - OMG. JT is adorable. “You’re that guy. The mind sleuth.” Personal headcanon: JT read Hoxley’s book to try and understand Malcolm better. 

4:22 - DANI IS MY QUEEN. SHE IS MY ICON. I LOVE HER SO FREAKING MUCH. “No.” This girl is fierce. <3

4:23 - <3 <3 Malcolm’s heart eyes, head tilt, and visible pride is so so so precious. THIS is why he’s attracted to Dani. She’s not afraid to assert herself. 

4:31 - “And then took in his son.” ....Okay, so this infuriated me. Nothing Hoxley is saying is untrue. BUT something about the way he’s saying it just gets under my skin. 

4:45 - I think Hoxley is pissing me off so much because he’s psychoanalyzing Malcolm in front three of the people Malcolm trusts and loves most in the world (3 out of a very very short list of people). He’s trying to humiliate Malcolm and I hate it. I hate that Dani, JT, and Gil haven’t told Hoxley to shut up. I hate that Hoxley is trying to drive stakes of doubt into the three people whose opinion Malcolm treasures. 

5:25 - “Aim a little lower, Whitly.” and and and.....then Hoxley looks to the team as though he wants them to laugh. I’m furious. 

5:32 - THANK YOU GIL. STEER THE CONVERSATION AWAY FROM MALCOLM

6:04 - Malcolm is so obvious. There’s no way that the team doesn’t know that he was involved with Endicott’s murder. If they didn’t before this episode - they HAVE to know now. Right? They’re detectives. Malcolm is a terrible liar. 

7:00 - Oh. So now Ainsley cares about the crime. Now it’s “how much trouble are we in”. And let’s be real. Ainsley doesn’t even seem very worried or scared. She’s concerned that the crime will get out - she’s not sorry she committed the crime. She’s not sorry that her big brother tried to take the fall for her. 

7:15 - “We said no more secrets.” ...when. When did you two say that? Was there a ‘fight part 2 - the tentative truce’ that we didn’t get to see?

7:33 - A mention of Sophie Sanders. Finally. I still hope she comes out of the woodwork and takes the fall for this. I want more closure on her. Did the team ever find out that Malcolm found her? How did the Eddie murder finally get resolved (I’m not satisfied with the “not every case gets solved” line)?

7:42 - Yo. I don’t care about the time constraint of a 45 minute episode. I don’t care that it was required to move the plot along. The fact that Ainsley starts typing frantically into the computer at about 7:42, stops typing at 7:47ish and has found at least 4 different articles relating to murdered random people (who apparently helped hide Endicott’s body?) is SO UNREALISTIC. I just can’t. I can’t suspend my disbelief on this one. The article headlines say nothing about ‘couriers’. It’s stuff like ‘Local fisherman found dead’. HOW THE HELL WOULD AINSLEY KNOW THEY WERE HELPING MALCOLM IN LESS THAN 10 SECONDS OF GOOGLING?!? Nope. I can’t justify this one. Fedak - you dropped the ball.

8:40 - Poor Malcolm looks terrified. :( 

9:04 - My first impression of Natalie was that she’s a beautiful young lady who seems really sweet and a little socially awkward. Kudos to the actress.

9:41 - Another mention of Sophie. God - I hope she becomes a twist in this season’s storyline. I’m not content with how her story arc ended. 

10:21 - “I didn’t have anything to do with Endicott’s death and neither did Jessica.” Yep. Gil definitely knows (or at least suspects) that Ainsley and Malcolm are somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. It’s killing me that we’re not getting the big “team and/or Gil find out and/or confront Malcolm about it” moment. 

10:31 - OMG. Alan Cumming’s eyebrow wag here. hahahahaha

10:35 - Look at how pissed off Gil is as soon as Hoxley suggests that he and Jessica have a romantic history. 1) Gil still has it bad for Jessica (and is hurt that she rejected him again 2) Gil’s a pretty private dude and probably doesn’t like his personal business being speculated upon by a total stranger with ill intent 3) Gil is also getting protective of the Whitly’s. Not just Jessica but Malcolm (and maybe Ainsley) too. 

10:58 - Europol agents aren’t allowed to make arrests?!? THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF HOXLEY’S CHARACTER?!? TO DRIVE DOUBT INTO THE MINDS OF THE TEAM WITH REGARDS TO MALCOLM?!? FOR REAL. WHY?! TO FORCE GIL TO ARREST MALCOLM AND AINSLEY?!?!

11:08 - “To watch you put the cuffs on Mr.Endicott’s killer. Deal?” “Deal.” oooooooohhhhhh no. I do not like the foreshadowing here. If Gil has to arrest Ainsley and/or Malcolm.....idek. Part of me wants to watch it for the emotional whump (of all parties - including Jessica). Part of me wants to ugly cry at the thought of it though.

11:39 - “How do you know so much about yachts?” ....THANK YOU JT. DANI HAS A STRANGE AMOUNT OF NAVAL KNOWLEDGE IN THIS EPISODE AND WE ALL KNOW “I watch a lot of Below Deck” IS UTTER HORSE CRAP. Ugh. I want to know more about Dani and JT’s personal lives. So. Badly. 

11:44 - <3 <3 <3 The look Malcolm and JT exchange when Dani claims that she watches a lot of Below Deck is absolutely precious. It’s like they’re best friends and/or brothers. They both knew Dani was lying. <3

11:54 - “At least he’s the real deal.” Ouch. I honestly can’t tell if JT is just teasing Malcolm here or if JT genuinely believes this. ....Is this JT’s way to letting Malcolm know that he has suspicions about his involvement with Endicott’s death?

12:06 - “Says the guy who bought his book.” HA. Dani is on fire this episode. The snark queen. Look at how pleased Malcolm is that Dani is defending him. <3 Warms my cold dead heart.

12:09 - annnnndd now JT is definitely teasing Malcolm. “What our boy Bright needs is a moniker.” hahaha watching Dani and JT come up with stupid profiler monikers was so cute. I love it when the team gangs up to (lovingly) tease Malcolm.

12:30 - “No. Nothing yet.” Again - Malcolm is a terrible liar. The team must know that he’s involved with this thing. They’re detectives. 

12:59 - Martin’s physical reaction to Malcolm saying, “No. That woman does not deserve to die.” Is HILARIOUS. Martin is so freaking desperate for Malcolm to become a serial killer that he doesn’t even care the Ainsley has already murdered someone. 

13:19 - “He has a perfect track record.”.....what? So does that mean he’s solved every case he’s ever worked on? Taken credit for solving every case he’s ever work on? Hand picked the cases he works on so he knows he can solve them? Probably a combination of the above. Sometime about Hoxley reminds me of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter. You feel me?

13:23 - The fact that Tom Payne (a Brit) is being told that Hoxley has “perfect teeth. For a Brit” by a Welsh man is hilarious.

13:34 - Does this fish packing joint have no security?!? Like Malcolm didn’t have to pick a lock or anything. He just walked right in (and he’s not being quiet).

13:51 - “I can think ruthless. I don’t know if I can be ruthless.” THIS. THIS is Malcolm in a nutshell. Think about Nicky Covington. Malcolm wanted to act ruthless but he couldn’t. He ended up saving Nicky because he couldn’t go through with his ruthless plan. That’s the difference between Malcolm and (quite frankly) the rest of his family. Jessica, Martin, and Ainsley can all be ruthless. All of them. Jessica on a lesser degree but Martin and Ainsley are confidently ruthless. Often.

13:57 - Ok. For real though. HOW HAS NO ONE OVERHEARD THESE PHONE CALLS BETWEEN MARTIN AND MALCOLM. THE PHONES HAVE TO BE TAPPED RIGHT?!? IN A SECURE MENTAL INSTITUTION FOR MURDERERS?!? and I stg that Mr. David knows things. That man is not a moron and he’s pieced stuff together (not from this scene obviously, but still).

14:13. - “Why don’t I break out.” The fact that Malcolm hasn’t mentioned that Martin wants to escape to anyone (since 2x4) is really stressing me out. I know Martin’s going to break out - the promos have made that very obvious but I’m still anxious about it. Mostly I’m worried for the health and safety of Malcolm (and Gil, Jessica, Dani, JT, Edrisa...).

14:17 - “We all go on the run together.” Martin is delusional. He thinks that the whole family will go on the run with him?!?!?  He might be able to convince Ainsley. He might be able to blackmail or threaten Malcolm. BUT Jessica? She’s not going willingly. Hell - she might kill him herself if Martin escapes and tries to come near her (which.....I would actually kind of like to see).

14:48 - The fact that Malcolm apologizes to a corps is so precious. Really reinforces the fact that Malcolm is not a killer. 

15:00 - Oh look. Another scene for Malcolm’s nightmares. “The time I cut off a dead guy’s thumb to protect my sister”

15:24 - annnndd Malcolm is really close to having a panic attack. Look at that face. :( Someone give this guy a hug. Please.

15:34 - Where the HELL is Edrisa!?!?!?

15:42 - Malcolm, you utter moron. What possessed your stupid ass to show up at a crime scene with a soaking wet arm and draw attention to your arm by shaking it?!?! WHEN THE BODY WAS JUST DRAGGED OUT OF A VAT OF WATER. AND YOU TAMPERED WITH THE BODY?!!? YOU DUMBASS. 

15:52 - This is Gil - terrified. He’s scared because 1) he knows Malcolm is lying , 2) he’s concerned for Malcolm’s mental health and 3) he’s starting to think that either a) Malcolm killed this guy, b) Malcolm knows who killed this guy and is obstructing justice, or c) Hoxley is going to pin this on Malcolm and Gil won’t be able to save him.

16:14 - “I’m never buying frozen fish again.” hahaha Dani is killing it this episode. <3

16:23 - Check out how Gil is staring at Malcolm. Gil totally thinks Malcolm has the thumb.

16:50 - “Older model” Shit. Seriously? Are finger print scanners on phones old?!? My phone isn’t that old......I got it 6 years ago? 

17:16 - MALCOLM IS A TERRIBLE LIAR. Honestly, the pure terror on his face throughout most of this episode screams “I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE MURDER.” If the team hasn’t pieced this together yet they’re not worthy of being detectives.

17:29 - I’m not going to lie. I had to fast forward through the Martin/Capshaw scenes for the rewatch. I find them so upsetting to watch. I just can’t do it more than once. Their whole dynamic is gross, creepy, and just ugh. 

20:00 - Jessica and Hoxley talking about Endicott’s death is so satisfying. 

20:35 - “Jessica Whitly. Played for a fool. Yet. Again.” Ok Hoxley. You are not allowed to disrespect my girl Jessica like that. 

21:10 - The biggest problem with Jessica and Gil’s “mock interrogations” by Hoxley is that neither of them mention Ainsley or Malcolm. It’s super suspicious. They mention other people by name. People who should be connected to Ainsley and/or Malcolm given the context of the sentence. Hoxley is a moron for not nailing Ainsley and Malcolm for the crime during this episode. It’s so so so obvious.

21:19 - hahahahahahahaha Jessica grabbing the martini out of Hoxley’s hands. hahahahaha I stan.

21:35 - annnnnd Jessica is a terrible liar as well. Seriously - why doesn’t she just say “ENDICOTT WAS KILLED OVER HERE!!”. Another parallel between her and Malcolm though. Malcolm + Jessica can’t lie well. Ainsley + Martin are expert liars.

22:54 - Again. Ainsley is intrigued at the fact that Malcolm has a thumb in his freezer. Much like Martin would be if he knew. Jessica on the other hand shares Malcolm’s fear and disgust about the situation.

23:00- “We”?!!?!? AINSLEY YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING. MALCOLM HAS BEEN COVERING FOR YOUR ASS. YOU JUST HAVEN’T TURNED YOURSELF IN AFTER YOU REMEMBERED. THAT’S YOUR ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO THE “KEEPING ENDICOTT’S MURDER A SECRET” SITUATION. 

23:07 - “Do you even see what you are doing to him.” This line both terrified and delighted me. On one hand - I’m grateful that Jessica can see how much emotional pain Malcolm is in because of this situation. One the other hand - Ainsley looks pissed that Jessica is blaming her for Malcolm’s general brokenness. If Ainsley goes full serial killer - Malcolm is going to be on her list. “The brother that overshadowed her.” “The favourite child” “The reason she had to be a perfect daughter” “The reason she was ignored”

23:32 - “Got it.” Damn. Ainsley is bitter. She wants to control this situation. She doesn’t like taking orders from Malcolm. 

25:00 - MR.DAVID IS RIGHT THERE. IF HE DOESN’T BLOW THE WHISTLE ON THIS I’M GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED. 

25:12 -”The Brain Fart” hahahahaha OMG. 

25:53 - “You’re being rude Hoxley.” ......Martin being the nice guy? I’m genuinely disgusted.

26:26 - “Your son Malcolm.” THIS. THIS is why Ainsley is so pissed off. Everyone has always thought Malcolm would turn out like Martin. Ever since they were kids. She’s pissed off that no one considers her to be a threat. They’re all concerned for and scared of Malcolm. Not her. She’s invisible. Why do you think she became a TV reporter? To force people to see her. 

26:50 - I’ve never wanted to Martin to kill anyone more than I have in this moment. I do find Martin’s protective love for Malcolm interesting though. 

27:37 - How long was that phone in water before Malcolm grabbed it?!? Anyone ever drop a phone in water? I don’t care how much rice you have. It’s toast 90% of the time. 

27:44 - Malcolm explaining murder to Sunshine is so cute. 

28:22 - And my heart rate has skyrocketed. 

29:10 - “To protect your sister.” Huh. I find it interesting that Hoxley has considered that Malcolm may have killed Endicott to protect Ainsley. It suggests that he thinks Endicott was a threat to Ainsley alive. Makes me wonder about what happened to Ainsley before Malcolm got back to the house in 1x20.

29:16 - “You all had something to gain.” Did they though? Martin had something to gain - keeping his cushy Claremont cell. Ainsley had something to gain - “A news story.” Jessica had something to gain - “safety”. But Malcolm? He didn’t personally have anything to gain. He wanted his Mom and sister safe but he never thought about himself. 

30:11 - “Perhaps the murder weapon is still among your mother’s silver.” I find it interesting Hoxley has pieced that together. I also find it highly unbelievable but that’s just me. 

30:15 - Hoxely, rich people don’t carve their own Christmas roasts. The Whitly’s have staff for that. 

30:24 - “You’re still just a scared little boy. Hungry for daddy’s love.” Ouch. It’s true but it still hurts. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state. At all. Istg if we don’t get a Malcolm mental health crisis soon I’m going to have my own mental health crisis. Seriously. I want to see this boy lose it. I’m a monster. I know. I want ugly crying. I want panic attacks. I want him to go catatonic. I want someone to comfort him. 

32:35 - Nat’s a good liar. Very convincing. Too bad Malcolm’s a good profiler. 

33:53 - Check out Spider Monkey Malcolm. <3 

34:14 - Earlier this episode when Malcolm said he can think ruthless but not be ruthless? This is the proof. He could’ve sat back and let Natalie kill Hoxley. In some ways - it would be good for Malcolm. But Malcolm’s not ruthless. He values human life. He’s an A+ dude. For better or for worse he tries to help people.

34:26 - Really Hoxley? Do you plan on stabbing Malcolm?!? (FYI - this scene is very reminiscent of Lockhart pulling his wand on Harry and Ron in the Chamber of Secrets #justsaying).

34:45 - “I’m going to be killed by a millennial. What a twist.” hahahhahahahahhaa

35:22 - “I’m British.” hahaha I love this scene so much.

37:14 - FINALLY THE PAPA!GIL CONTENT WE”VE BEEN WAITING FOR. (it’s weak but I’ll take it)

37:39 - AHHHH the fact that Gil and Malcolm are both non-verbally communicating that Natalie didn’t kill Endicott is killing me. Does Malcolm think that Gil hates him? Does Gil really think Malcolm killed Endicott? Or just that Malcolm covered it up? I NEED TO KNOW.

37:46 - Concerned!Gil and a hand on Malcolm’s shoulder. <3 <3 <3 My icy heart has melted. 

37:54 - annnnnd Hoxley ruins the moment.

39:39 - I’m not content with this ending. It’s all too convenient. Hoxley still thinks Ainsley and Malcolm did it. Mark my words. This isn’t over.

39:53 - Ainsley is so smug here. I want to slap her. She’s elated that she’s getting away with murder. She doesn’t care about how it’s hurting her family. 

40:00 - Did they really do the interview inside Jessica’s house?!?! Gross. 

40:17- I might be the only one but I love that polo on Malcolm. Something about it is adorable. 

40:22 - ......is Ainsley really trying to take credit for “putting this Endicott mess behind us”?!?! Because - she didn’t. OMG. She absolutely didn’t. Even if she did - she’s the reason they’re in the mess to being with!!!!!!! I can’t. I just....can’t. 

40:45 - The episode ends right here for me. I know Capshaw and Martin kiss. It makes me want to hurl and I refuse to watch it again. I also know that Capshaw takes the scissors away from Martin. I think their whole dynamic is upsetting and creepy. I’m like 95% sure that Capshaw is a serial killer on the DL. Or at least some sort of psychopath. Martin and Capshaw are both manipulating each other and it’s too stressful to watch. 

I didn’t love this episode. It was a bit all over the place. If you stuck around this long - thank you. I’ll see you guys next week. <3

[magicalhideoutengineer]

Taken from Inside the Magic: The Making of Fantastic Beasts

Porpentina Goldstein

At first glance, Porpentina Goldstein or 'Tina' Goldstein is a no-nonsense, career-driven New York witch. Indeed. She is the first of a magical persuasion to spot that Newt might be more than a passing tourist.

Dressed in her usual smart but inconspicuous mix of above-the-ankle trousers, grey overcoat and balck cloche hat, she trails him into the bank; there, she is appalled to witness the wizard use hhis wand in broad daylight and promptly arrest him. Newt is clearly an exposure risk to the secretive MACUSA. He may also be a chance for Tina to redeem herself.

Tina has run into her own problems at MACUSA. 'She's recently been demoted,' explains Katherine Waterston, the NewYork-based actress who is bringing this complicated witch to the screen. 'She's gone from being a detective to the lowly work in the Wand Permit Office. Basically stamping passports.’

Up until her downrturn in fortune Tina wasa Auror, a wizard detective tasked with investigating crimes. But as director David Yates explains, 'She had done something really bad.' What her crime might be is revealed over the course of the movie. 'Like Newt,' he says, 'she is a wee bit of an outsider.’

Waterston finds her character fascinating. Nothing is quite what it seems. Tina is really proud to be a part of MACUSA. She still hopes to make something of herself there. Yet she also slinks about New York doing her own investigation like a private eye from an old-schoolcrime movie.

'Tina has good instincts,' hits Waterston. 'She is good at her job. But when push comes to shove, she will abandon the rulebook.' She is a woman of great potential, but she just hasn't found a way to realize it yet, with pretty bobbed hair and a stern gaze.

Yates was taken with Waterston from the moment she walked into the first audition. She displayed similar qualities to Eddie Redmayne. 'Very much like Eddie, she can be quite deeply intense in a good way, and she can be very, very funny. She's got a great physical ability at comedy, which is quite rare. She's also a really powerful actor. I loved that combination.’

Waterston doesn't count herself as any kind of expert on the history of Harry Potter. She had seen some of the films, read some of the books, but admits she hadn't got a completely lost in the world. She also thinks that may not be a bad thing.

'I felt in a fortunate place,' she says, 'because I wasn't so obsessed that I had a lot of preconceived notions, but I was familiar enough to have a sense of the tone of the world.’

She also had a plenty of opportunity to pick the brains of J.K Rowling, who provided a wealth of knowledge on Tina.

'You just want to curl up by the fire withher and hear her stories,' sighs Waterston happily. 'She sees a whole, incredibly detailed universe.’

Two key relationship will emerge in Tina's busy corner of that universe. Firstly, with her sister Queenie, played by Alison Sudol, with whom she shares a small Brownstone apartment.

Tina and Queenie lost their parents to a Dragon Pox when they were young, and at different times have been a parent to one another. 'in their loneliness they've fallen into that dynamic,' says Waterston. Tina, she admits, may be a bit more the father, and Queenie the mother, cooking these wonderful meals. Queenie is as vivacious as Tina is restrained, yet they couldn't be closer.

'It feels true to me, the way Tina and Queenie relate to one another,' insists Waterston. Having only just met, she and Sudol developed an instant chemistry as they shot the scene of the Goldsteins preparing dinner for Newt and Jacob. It was their first day working together and they had to glide about the kitchen casting spells with their wands as if it was second nature.

'We kind of scrambled to figure it out –whose chore is whose?' recalls Waterston. 'I'm sort of setting the table with my wand and she's preparing the meal. We developed a little, superstitious salt-over-the-shoulder thing, just to give the audience a sense of their life together.’

Then, of course, there is Newt. Someone Tina can't quite figure out. Not at first. 'Part of what I love about Tina is that she's flawed,' says Waterston. 'Things don't work out for her. She meets Newt and she suspects there is something to him, but she doesn't know exactly what.’

Throughout the first film, as she watches him interact with his fantastic beasts and sees the way he is, Tina will come to view Newt in a different light.

'With Katherine's character, it is sort of a slow-build connection,' says Redmayne, 'these two people, who are outsiders yet passionate people, begins to glimpse things in one another.’

Waterston describes it as a love story albeit in an unconventional way. They have a lot of to deal with in the meantime – escaped beasts, death sentences, going on the run, tackling the outbreak of dark magic – and yet Newt sees all the potential in her that she has trouble seeing in herself. 'At first, she thinks he's dangerous and untrustworthy, and potentially kind of cute too,' she says. 'Then as the relationship evolves you start to notice parallels between them. I mean, both are very passionate but not very good at expressing themselves.’

She pauses, trying to capture one of the themes of the film: 'It can be lonely being an oddball until you find another oddball.’

Tina's Costume

'Tina Goldstein is a little bit gawky. A little bit not quite there in her body and just a little bit off in her costume. She was sort of a modern girl, and I made an acting decision to put her in trousers from the start, which was not so common in the period. She had an element of what the Aurors wore but not really. Hence the trousers. She was hiding a lot and doing her own private-eye things. So I gave her a trenchcoat with a really big collar she could tuck her head behind doing this kind of stealthy spying work.’

Tina's Wand

When it came to her wand, Katherine Waterston requested some 'heft'. She wanted to make Tina's spell-casting forceful, as if magic was something she takes very seriously. 'Tina's was nice,' says Pierre Bohanna. 'Quite simple and quite classic.’

The Goldstein Department

Named for the dark sandstone bricks used tobuild Manhattan's famous townhouses, most Brownstones were converted into apartments in the 1920s. Not wealthy, the Goldsteins occupy a couple of rooms within one such conversion.

Furthermore, Tina and Queenie will prepared inner for their guests with the help of familiar spells. Jacob, recovering from a nasty bite from a Murtlap, wonders whether he is having a hallucinogenic episode. ‘He's chucked onto this sofa and the girls suddenly swish their wands around and plates fly from everywhere and food is being chopped,' says visual effects supervisor Christian Manz, 'and we go into incredible detail about baking an apple strudel magically. But it feels workaday, it feels normal to them.’ 

'We've got little napkins flying like birds, we've got a book jacket that move around,' he recalls. Irons work on their own accord, a clothes-horse revolves to ensure both sides face the fire, and there is a lovely dress on a mannequin that Queenie is mending remotely. 

The idea, says actress Katherine Waterston, is 'to give the audience a sense of the Goldsteins' life together that is very insulated and private.' Having two men visit, she insists, is a 'freak exception'.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Mulan (2020, Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the week following the movie’s release on Disney+ worldwide, so if you haven’t yet seen the 2020 live-action Mulan do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

I had a very hard time deciding what I thought about this movie. I firstly had time to wait to see the movie as I didn’t watch it on Disney+ on the Friday it was released but instead got to see it for free the following Sunday night. But in that time all the reviews were coming out and while some of them were positive, a lot of them were negative.

I guess my feelings can be categorised into three pillars just as the oath sworn by the imperial army...loyal, brave and true, the first pillar is loyalty as in my thoughts on the original animated Mulan and how this movie holds up.

I will say, had I not seen the original I would probably just like this live-action remake fine enough but because I have not only seen the original 1996 animated version but have a strong connection to that version with it being the first movie I ever saw in theatres but also one of my favoured soundtracks of all Disney movies growing up, it’s difficult as we are literally comparing new for old.

That being said, a lot of what made the original so good for me has been completely gutted in this version. No Mushu, Cri-Kee or even Little Brother. It would be so easy to simply have a Shar Pei or a Shih Tzu roaming around Mulan’s home because they already had a spider taking the place of Cri-Kee in that matchmaker scene but no...we get the horse who isn’t even called Khan in this movie because the main villain’s surname is instead Khan rather than Shan Yu like the original, and a phoenix that...despite all the exposition and my movie trivia knowledge of what a phoenix can do...simply just flies around almost like one of those box kites and acts more like a drone than an ancestral family protector.

Also the grandmother from the original, who I loved because Disney has a habit of doing these elderly cooky women traditionally for comedy but also with some heart, is omitted from this version and instead seemingly replaced with a younger sister for Mulan. Now it’s not like the grandmother was integral to the original story other than giving Cri-Kee to Mulan and without Cri-Kee there is no need for her but if you’re going to replace her replace her with something interesting...this sister does absolutely nothing.

As for the songs, Everyone knew right from the off that this wouldn’t be a musical and so all those great songs from that soundtrack that I said at the time was one of my favourite Disney soundtracks were obviously out...but the way in which the score incorporated the main song “Reflection” is something we’ve already heard in the trailers and used very well played out here, then also two of the other songs “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” and “A Girl Worth Fighting For”, while not scored are referenced as lines from the songs are spoken by the Imperial Army soldiers at times.

Then speaking of ditching characters, Shang who is the main male lead of the 1998 animated Mulan is here split into two different characters. The commander of the Imperial Army played by Donnie Yen and then a soldier recruit in said army who acts as Mulan’s love interest...I think. I get the fact that these were the two sides of Shang’s character in the original...with the addition of dealing with the murder of his father...but it would have made more sense maybe to have the commander be “Shang’s” father rather than literally having Shang A and Shang B.

But while other fan-favourites were omitted, one new addition stole the show for me and that was Gong Li as Xian Lung aka The Witch as she’s referred to throughout in this movie. I thought the addition of magic to this adaptation was an interesting take because the original stands out for not relying so heavily on the fairytale aspects. I mean yes we have a talking dragon and ghostly ancestors, who also aren’t in this movie but are referenced a lot and responsible for the box kite phoenix, but the movie didn’t need magic per-say...here it is almost like the secret sauce for how the major players thrive.

This brings me onto my second pillar, brave...as in this movie takes some big old swings in the dark to not only try and stand out from the original but also be mature. Going back to the magic angle, chi is a massive part of this movie and it seems to be that if you’re an important fighter, you have it man or woman.

The only issue with that being the 1998 animated version of Mulan, despite being Disney, was one of the more grounded Renaissance movies as it didn’t rely heavily on the fantasy angle other than the talking dragon and ancestors.

So when you flip that around and tell me that not only does Mulan effectively have superpowers but also there is a major antagonist in this movie who can not only shapeshift but perform matrix-style Wire-Fu action which she somehow teaches the Rouran army, then it loses what made the original version special in that it didn’t rely so heavily on those fantastical elements.

That being said, despite a major problem with other Disney Live-Action remakes like The Lion King being that they rely too heavily on the source material, this remake is practically a different movie to the original 1998 version.

However, while a lot of the beats of the first half of this movie, and even the second half are met such as the Matchmaker scene, joining the Imperial Army, the avalanche battle and the Emperor being captured, the true emotional moments of the animated movie are completely gone.

That incredibly powerful scene after Mulan and her father argue and she is next seen crying at the Great Stone Dragon statue while watching her ailing father before deciding she must take his place and cuts her hair, disguises herself and leaves home in the middle of the night in the rain...here replaced with Mulan wielding her father’s sword, next she’s in the armor, then she’s travelling to the army camp...no powerful music, no visible emotion at how she comes to the resolve of leaving her family, nothing.

Even though there are no songs sung in this movie, the scene “Reflection” is originally sung in makes the song one of my favourite Disney Princess songs because of the fact it lyrically and visibly shows Mulan’s inner torment at being the outsider within her family and longing to be able to truly express herself. Here you have any resemblance of that scene taken out and instead go straight from the Matchmaker scene to the Imperial Army drafting scene.

As for the comedy, I understand the original animated version was more of a comedy-action movie as opposed to this one which is action-drama, but I don’t think I laughed once while watching this movie.

Yes, the original had Eddie Murphy as Mushu and that’s taken out here, but it also had the likeable funny trio of soldiers in the army. Here there are 5 of them, Shang-lite included, Yao and Chien-Po I think try to be despite not spending enough time on any of them to know who is who. There’s this newish character called Cricket who is supposed to be the substitute for Cri-Kee...but is a recruit in the Imperial Army instead of an insect and I had to look up to make sure it wasn’t Ned from the Spider-Man movies because they look so similar and try to force comedy despite not being particularly funny. Even the river shower scene from the original which was rather funny due to Mulan trying to hide the fact she’s a woman from the three guys, here it’s just Mulan and Shang-lite (Chen Honghui) and is played off more as some weird and awkward romance scene.

It is truly brave of Disney to try and appeal more to China than to Western audiences who loved the original movie and the comedy etc and this brings me on to the third pillar which is True, as in Disney trying to be true to China, it’s culture and respecting Mulan as a legend of China rather than a Disney Princess.

That being said, we definitely got more Chinese culture in this version than the original. Obviously you see a lot of China in the animated movie as the Imperial Army moves around a lot like they do here, but it’s never quite as cinematic as it is here. The 2020 live-action Mulan demands the attention of the big screen because for me watching it on my laptop, you can tell a lot of the establishing shots and landscape scenes were intended to be viewed on the silver screen.

Particularly the shots of people running up and down that vast staircase leading up to the Emperor’s palace, just imagining that in theatres impresses me.

Even shots like when you see wide views with either the phoenix or the witch in bird form soaring across the sky, you can tell it was meant to be viewed first on the big screen just to get that feeling of wonder because on a smaller screen it isn’t that impressive.

However, on the subject of “True” I do not understand how in-keeping with the original Chinese legend involved Chi being utilized as some sort of superpower equivelent to Avatar: The Last Airbender whereas in the original animated Disney version, which should really be the one emphasising the fantasy element, you’re either a good fighter or, in Mulan’s case for that movie, you’re not and have to train.

I understand how legends and mythologies can include fantastical elements because that’s what makes them as such, but if Disney want to tell me that in this movie Mulan is practically Wonder Woman because that’s how she is said to be in the legend then where the hell was that in the 1998 animated version because that Mulan is classed officially as a Disney Princess despite not being royalty or marrying royalty and having this type of power would at least qualify her to stand alongside the likes of Pocahontas and Moana.

Getting off the rant and moving to a compliment for a moment, I did appreciate the movie staying true to Chinese fashion because that really puzzled me about the original movie, how every man, woman and child effectively looked like they were wearing the same robes just in a different colour with maybe some different styling depending on if they were royalty or officials in some way.

But here, the Emperor definitely looked regal, the Witch looked regal but in that nomadic styling which was true to her character, and even though all the soldiers were wearing the same uniform, they all had something different enough about it.

Characters:

Alright so I’ve gone on enough generally, now I’m going to be more specific in terms of character, but because most of these characters aren’t fleshed out enough to warrant their own section, I’m listing who I feel are my three stand-out characters and then grouping the rest.

Mulan:

Obviously the movie is about Mulan so I have to start with her, and despite all the negative stuff which to be perfectly honest with you doesn’t overly concern me in regards to how Yifei Liu has been so adamantly in support of the Hong Kong Police drama, I’m judging her solely on how she plays the character here.

She was okay.

I mean this in the best way possible but, in a similar way to last year’s The Lion King remake, Yifei Liu was practically stone-faced the entirety of this movie. Good things happened, no expression, bad things happened, no expression, sad things happened, no expression. Especially when she was pretending to be a guy in the army camp it felt like her acting choice was “If Mulan was to show expression, it may give the game up”, it was just so rigid it made it hard to like her.

Speaking of her “undercover guise”, I know the original movie was animated and therefore the animators can get away with slightly altering the look of the character to make it believable and voices can even be changed as evidenced here with Jet Li...but I did not believe for a single second that Mulan could actually pass as a guy looking like how she looked. She didn’t cut her hair, her clothes weren’t particularly masculine, barely changed her voice and aside from having that leather brace/corsit to hide her chest there was no evidence as to how an entire army camp could not tell the second they saw her...maybe with the exception of Chen but I’ll get to that when I get to him.

Also, I touched on the Chi power thing beforehand, why was she was born with it? Why was it so powerful in her from an early age? None of this was explained, they hammered home the dangers of her having such strong Chi and that was also personified beautifully with Xian Lang aka The Witch as a kind of Ghost of Christmas Future visage, but the reason the original animated version worked so well was because she was flawed, clumsy and awkward yet also caring, strong-willed and outspoken. Really all they did here was take away all of those qualities that made her...you know...human and added the Chi power thing from the start so she didn’t have to learn to fight, she didn’t have to make this massive sacrifice as you know she’s probably going to prevail and again it made her unlikeable because there was no growth or real character development.

All except for the very end when the Emperor offers her a position on the royal guard rather than as an adviser like he does originally, and she rejects it here like she did then as well...but then she is asked again maybe two days later and we don’t get an answer but she probably says yes.

It’s quite clear they’re trying to tee up a sequel by the end of this movie, but there is so much negativity both to the movie and specifically the leading actress that I really don’t see this happening.

If a sequel was to happen it would most likely be Mulan’s struggles with being a female member in the emperor’s guard or even leading the team, but we saw her do that for the second half of this movie.

Literally the halfway point in this movie after a confrontation with Xian Lang, when Mulan’s father narrates how Mulan’s lie died but she herself lived and so she then decided to appear in front of the Imperial Army as a woman despite the obvious consequences I found stupid.

In the original it’s a mistake that she’s found out, it’s towards the end of the movie and she has to fight just for acceptance. Here she pretty much states the obvious in what she knows the villains are doing, suddenly she’s leading the fecking army...despite being told that if she shows her face again she will die...no death but just a promotion.

Finally while talking about Mulan, I can’t really not talk about that fantastic Ming-Na Wen cameo at the end of the movie. It was so great, I had heard prior to seeing the movie that she was going to be in it and so my eyes were peeled throughout the movie.

I love Ming-Na Wen and I do think she is one of very few to hit a Disney trifecta with being a Disney Princess, an MCU hero of sorts and a Star Wars character, though having recently finally seen The Mandalorian I have to say her part was exaggerated a bit considering the one episode she’s in.

It never dawned on me until it was brought up that I even needed Ming-Na to appear in this movie but having seen her I have to say I would be disappointed if she didn;t. Originally I would have suggested she maybe play Mulan’s mother as a type of passing on the torch, but the very fact that her one line and duty in the movie is to introduce Mulan to the emperor it does seem to have the same effect.

Xian Lang:

As I say, the Witch was my favourite character in this movie. Everything about her from when I first saw her in the trailers just worked for me. Her look was stunning, Gong-Li’s acting was on point, her story despite being a secondary antagonist based on the villain’s pet bird from the original movie was very compelling. The parallels between Mulan and Xian Lang were fascinating to see particularly with Xian Lang being a potential future cautionary tale for Mulan.

The first major scene when we see her use her powers was my favourite scene in the movie. I love a great power-set piece and we got to see a lot of the different fascets of Xian Lang’s power. From that gorgeous blend of coloured powders to act as a smokescreen for her shapeshifting, the weapon manifestation, using her sleeves as whips. It all worked so well and Mulan wasn’t even in the scene.

That being said, my next favourite scene is that confrontation between her and Mulan where Xian Lang is trying to get Mulan to admit who she is but she’s insistent on stating she’s her male name, so Xian Lang says “then you will die a lie” and knocks her into a rock which Mulan’s father then narrates “Mulan’s lie did die but Mulan lived”, it’s such powerful stuff and I wish the rest of the movie was as clever as that.

The Emperor:

The only other character I can really single out is Jet Li’s Emperor of China. I’m not a massive Jet Li fan, but I have seen him in a couple other movies and to my knowledge always in non-English speaking roles. However, I have also seen him in interviews so know the voice he has...this wasn’t it.

It was really distracting all the way through this movie because he looked regal, everything around him looked regal and powerful, but then he spoke and I was sat there pondering “Why is that not his voice?”. I mean I know how Hollywood likes to dub voices if the actors they hire don’t fit the roles vocally but do physically, but doing this not only to Jet Li who is one of the more famous Asian actors in Hollywood but any Asian actor in an entirely Asian cast does seem like a huge step backwards in representation particularly after Aladdin.

It reminded me a lot of Ray Park who is one of my favourite underrated actors. In some roles you see him and hear his voice like Toad in the first X-Men movie, however famously you only see him physically as Darth Maul in the Star Wars movies but have his voice dubbed by other actors.

All that aside, the actual character was a lot more fleshed out than in the original movie. I mean all you really need to know about him is that he’s the Emperor of China but here, because he’s Jet Li apparently in body only, he also has some kick-ass martial arts scenes.

Although, similar to the TV series Arrow, I do not understand how magic allows people to catch arrows fired at them, yet somehow Jet Li does and to be fair redirects it in a rather bad-ass way with Mulan doing a flip kick sending it straight into the chest of the main villain guy.

Hua Family:

As for Mulan’s family, I thought they were okay. Again I got more emotional from the original movie and I did miss the grandmother this time around and do not understand how the younger sister was a worthy substitute, but the actual parents were at least acted well.

It was great seeing Constance Wu in a dramatic role after seeing her in Freaky Friday, Tzi Ma was a surprisingly central role this time around as Mulan’s father with a lot more drama put on his character, in the original version you know Fa Zhou is injured from war so when he’s drafted again you can guess he may not survive. Here, Constance Wu states “Be brave for he won’t return this time”.

Imperial Army:

I didn’t like any of these guys, we spend little time getting to know any of them as individuals, maybe with the exception of Donnie Yen’s general character. Having said that, Chen either had to know that Mulan was a girl or simply be attracted to Mulan as a boy. But there were so many looks and so many times where you could tell that he knew but maybe wanted to protect her so didn’t let on.

Rourans:

I didn’t like the Huns in the original movie but at least they had individuality about them, the Rourans had nothing. Jason Scott Lee was obviously the Shan Yu of this movie but he did not have the intimidation factor that he had and really didn’t have a lot else to him.

The one plus about the Rourans is they seemed to take lessons from the Dothraki in Game of Thrones in how to not only ride into battle but battle while riding. It was very cool visually.

Recommendation:

By the time this review posts if you haven’t seen the movie yet you may not be inclined to and I don’t know if this review is really a promotion for it, but when someone asked me for my recommendation I did say it’s worth at least one viewing.

However, I would not pay the excess fee for it. I watched it for free and I feel $30 or however much it is here in the U.K. would feel a bit of a rip off despite the fact Disney+ allows for multiple users and so multiple viewings.

Overall I rate the movie a 6/10, it’s visually gorgeous, Gong-Li is the best thing about the movie and it is interesting to see what is different between versions. I just wouldn’t rank it up there as one of the best Disney Live-Action remakes, too much doesn’t make sense.

So that’s my review of Disney’s Live-Action Mulan, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Disney Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[of-wrens-and-whirlwinds-blog]

What’s a King to a Schoolmaster?

First commission by the ever-wonderful @turtletotem! Commission info is here!

~

Being king, Edward mused, was absolute shit.

Having been a prince, he was jaded to all this luxury. The power would’ve been fun, except if he wanted to keep the throne until his wife had a baby, he had to share it with the councils. This wasn’t even a big country and he was tired of ruling it. What he would give for a fine, strong son to take the throne so he could move far away and be a goatherd or something.

“Daydreaming again, sire?”

Edward perked up and turned with a grin to his oldest friend and current guard captain. “More like pouting,” he replied, “But I suppose the day’s getting better.”

Wilhelm smiled back a little, lop-sided. “Her majesty the queen is anxious to see you again,” he informed the king.

Edward scoffed and waved his hand. “She’s always anxious. That’s why Father picked her, because she’s anxious and if she kills me no one will suspect her.”

Wilhelm stopped smiling. “That was fast,” he remarked. “Do you hate her already?”

“No, but I suspect she hates me. I give her everything she wants and never ask for anything except her presence at state functions and an heir. She wants to be needed and I can’t give her that.” Edward shrugged and stretched, smirking as Wilhelm’s eyes flicked up and down his body. The current court fashions were tighter than Edward liked, but if it made Wilhelm flustered, he’d take it. It was always fun to fluster Will. “Poor lady. Maybe I’ll run away as soon as she has a child,” he mused. “Boy or girl.”

“That would not do, sire,” Wilhelm said stiffly. “You are still king.”

“And you are still obsessed with honor.” Edward stood, walked over, and yanked Wilhelm down for a quick kiss. “I’m telling you, a little chicken-blood, signs of a struggle, and we can make it look like you killed me and ran away. We can be goatherds together!”

Wilhelm finally, actually smiled, and put his hand on Edward’s waist. “Eddie, you don’t know shit about goats,” he retorted, but fondly. “And I can’t make cheese. So there.”

Edward laughed and embraced him.

~

It was another holiday feast, and Edward was bored out of his mind.

Sarah was having fun, talking to the other court ladies and comparing notes on whose secret lover was better. Edward didn’t mind that she had a lover. Someone to make her happy, keep her sane in this endlessly boring existence as queen. Well. He assumed it was boring.

Wilhelm was looking handsome, as usual, shadowing Edward as he stood by the fireplace and discussed the military with some of his nobles. Edward hated the military part of ruling, but the Vassa Legions were gathering next door and his ministers were nervous about war. Gods, they were so nervy.

Edward looked around the ballroom, and frowned. Everyone looked nervous. Was he missing something? He’d have to ask his spymaster what was going on. Or Wilhelm. Wilhelm always knew.

Finally, finally, his ministers drifted away, and Edward strolled over to sit in his throne again. A servant hurried over and handed him a goblet of wine. Edward nodded his thanks and toyed with the goblet, not really in the mood for more alcohol. Wilhelm drifted up to him and leaned down to murmur, “Sire, I suggest you and Queen Sarah adjourn early. There’s too much tension.”

“Oh, so you noticed it too.” Edward looked around again, frowning once more. No one would meet his eyes. “Huh. I think I will take your advice. How should I approach Sarah?”

Wilhelm raised one dark eyebrow and looked aggrieved. “Sire, you know I am exactly the wrong person to ask about that,” he replied dryly.

Edward coughed to hide a laugh. Yes, he did know. Wilhelm had never had a lover, woman or man; he just wasn’t interested in anyone, he’d told sixteen-year-old Edward, blushing.

Well, that was alright. Edward wasn’t very much into lovers, either. So sweaty, and what did one get out of it? A few minutes of pleasure that you could easily get on your own if you had the privacy? No, better to spend his nights reading and sleeping, although he always remembered to do his duty by Sarah.

Just as Edward set down his goblet and stood, Wilhelm straightening and stepping back to give him room, the doors of the ballroom slammed open, and armed men in chainmail swept in. Everyone shouted or screamed, and scurried away; but it all sounded fake and looked practiced. Edward glanced at Sarah; she was smiling. She looked over at Edward and said softly, “Sorry about this, Eddie.”

Edward grinned back. “No harm done,” he assured her cheekily. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to be a goatherd.”

She looked stunned, but then Wilhelm grabbed Edward’s arm and dragged him to the secret door.

It was quite interesting, how the rest of the king’s guard did not seem to be in their places. Wilhelm swore under his breath as he hustled Edward up the stairs, to the emergency exit.

“So this is what I get for spending my days with the new recruits,” he muttered furiously. “They all turn on me like dogs.”

“Oh, no,” Edward drawled, panting, because despite his joking he really was frightened enough to run. “Whatever shall we do? We’ll have to go into hiding. You know, my mother’s family has this lovely castle they never visit, we could hide there—”

“Shut up, Eddie.”

Edward shut up.

They made it to his quarters, barely. Wilhelm grabbed Edward’s sword off the wall and tossed it to him; he caught it easily and buckled it on. They had planned this, and practiced. There was a small bag under Edward’s bed containing loose, rough clothes, and several purses scattered in secret places. They gathered all of these quickly, as someone started hammering on the door. Then, while Edward slung on his cloak, Wilhelm opened the second secret door, which led into the stair way down into the dungeons. Built by one of Edward’s forefathers who liked to get off on watching people being tortured. But from the dungeons, they could get to the stables.

They followed this program quickly, and Edward began to tremble as he realized that they couldn’t hole up in a castle. They really would have to travel secretly to a barely-civilized part of the country for protection.

No more wines, he thought in a detached manner as Wilhelm slew two men who tried to stop them. No more velvets and jewels. He pulled off his signet ring and crown and dropped them in a pile of horse manure. No more fine dining and the newest books.

But also, no more being royal.

That thought made Edward suddenly happy. He was still terrified for his life, as he saddled his mare Breeze and jumped in her saddle, and following Wilhelm out of the stables, to gallop to the gate and out into the royal city. Crossbow bolts whizzed past his ear, but Breeze was faster, and soon they were in the silent city streets, sticking to shadows and avoiding the City Guard.

“So,” Edward whispered, as Wilhelm looked around sharply, “Where shall we go?”

Wilhelm hesitated, then sighed. “We should leave the continent,” he murmured back. “Or, at least pretend to. We should continue south, anyway; much more land to search to the south.”

“True enough.”

They rode in silence, far into the morning. They stopped in the woods, by a stream, and sat down while their horses rested. And then Edward felt tears in his eyes.

“Damn it!” he snarled, thumping his knee with his fist. “I told her! I told her if she asked I’d abdicate in her favor! What is it with royalty thinking they have to kill people to get what they want?!”

Wilhelm reached over and put his hand over Edward’s fist. Automatically, he uncurled it, and wove his fingers tightly with Wilhelm’s. “There was always a chance you’d come back, or others would rally around you,” he said gently. “No royal worth their salt would allow that, even if she did believe that you would never try for the throne. What if you had a son who challenged hers? The web of politics is not straightforward.”

Edward leaned over to lean his head on Wilhelm’s shoulder. “Can I be a goatherd now? They live such simple lives.”

Wilhelm sighed. “No, Eddie. We can set up as a disgraced merchant and his bodyguard in some small city, and you can be a tutor. You like teaching, don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” Edward admitted. “It was fun, teaching those youngsters about economics. But would it work?”

“It will work,” Wilhelm replied firmly. “We will make it work.”

~

If one were to ask the jovial, aging schoolmaster and his quiet blacksmith friend where they had come from, Schoolmaster Ed would laugh, and Blacksmith Will would just shake his head and smile.

“Oh, it doesn’t really matter,” Ed would chuckle. He still had an accent when he spoke. “They didn’t want me there, anyway.”

Will would just shake his head and refuse to answer.

Some of the town gossips were sure they were… peculiar. But there were never any signs. They lived together, and if one were to watch through their window (which, given the fact that their cottage was smack in the middle of the street, was never unnoticed), Ed liked to read aloud to Will, and they sometimes fell asleep on the same couch. But nothing else.

One bold young girl, Niamh, snuck out from her foster home one night before she could be caught and hurt (the wheelwright had a nasty temper and took it out on everyone) and crept into the back garden of the schoolmaster and the blacksmith, just in time to hear Ed say, “I got a letter today, from Sarah! She said she’s given birth to twins!”

“She found us?” Will asked sharply, and Niamh shrank back in the bushes, frightened by his tone.

“Yes, but it’s fine, my love. Her new husband has straightened out those courtiers too annoying to be useful, and now the country is stable again. Just in time for the births. She asked if you would mind terribly if she named one after you, the only loyal man in court.” Here, Ed faltered. “I… haven’t written back yet. Do you have anything to say to her?”

A long moment. Then Will sighed. “Tell her I thank her for the honor, and for thinking of me. That’s all I have to say to the woman who tried to have you killed.”

“Oh, but didn’t I tell you?” Ed said merrily. “She laid out the entire plot in that letter, every scrap of detail, she said because she couldn’t live without me knowing. They weren’t going to kill me! Rough me up, yes, torture me, probably, but they knew if they killed me there’d be an uproar. So they were just going to imprison me. Oh! We seem to have a visitor!”

Before Niamh could figure out what that meant, Will was looming over her, frowning. She shrank back, beginning to shake with fear, eyes huge.

But then he smiled, and said, “You’re Niamh, right? Well, come on out, child. You’ve heard quite a bit already.”

“That darling child living with that nasty wheelwright?” Ed gasped, also coming around the corner as Niamh stood slowly. “Oh, my dear! You shouldn’t be hiding in the dark and cold like that. Come, come, have tea with us. Did you run away?”

“Yes,” she answered in a small voice, as she followed them to the graveled area in front of their backdoor, where they were having a final cup of tea before bed. “I… I was scared. He was angry.”

Will frowned, but in a worried way. Ed nodded and smiled sadly. “Understandable, my dear. He’s an alarming man. Do you take sugar?”

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 56 - Secrets, mix tapes and jealousy

In the previous chapter: the special date set up by Angie turned out to be a disaster for her and it's coming to a even worse end, since Eddie doesn't seem interested into having sex with her. In the end though, they both manage to open up and talk about their feelings and insecurities and they make love for the first time. Despite all that, Angie's still firm on her decision not to tell anything to their friends. We find it out when the couple joins Jeff, Stone, Grace, McCready and Cornell at their usual go-to pub. Jeff sees them getting there together by car but entering the place in different moments to avoid suspects. From his thoughts about the matter, we find out that Jeff actually caught the two exchanging affectionate effusions a few days earlier, when Angie had brought a cake for him and Eddie before a show. At that time, Jeff preferred to silently and secretely leave before they could see him, so that they wouldn't be embarrassed. Thanks to his friends's advice, Jeff can finally put together a bunch of titles for the fake demo tape by Cliff Poncier, the main character of Cameron Crowe's movie, and then challenges Chris to actually write those songs.

**

“Did she knock him out?”

“Yeah, he went down like a sack of potatoes. And it was a pretty big sack” Angie lets go of my hand for a moment, just the time to mimic the body size of the guy, then takes it again, as we walk to her car.

“With a punch?”

“Actually, two”

“Given what he said to you, I'd have given him more” drunk or not, if you touch a woman you're crap, and if I run into you you're dead.

“You'd have beaten a dead horse, well, a dead sack of potatoes”

“Nuh, you're right: too little satisfaction. Anyway, hats off to Meg, cool girl”

“Yep... and to think that at the beginning I thought she was a vapid Barbie”

“What? You? Having prejudices about someone? It can't be!” I have fun picking on her. When I expressed very similar opinions about Violet she made me feel like shit.

“Hehe yeah, I confess, I made a mistake too, I'm human after all. Anyway, that's how we became friends and everything started”

“That's the perfect example of how something good can come out of a bad story too”

“See, so that guy deserves some credit too after all” as soon as we get to her Mini, Angie takes my other hand too and leans back against the back of the car, pulling me closer.

“Fucking credit. It happend ages ago and I wasn't even there and my hands are hitching to hit him good” it looks like taking me out to dinner to a Thai restaurant in the university district makes her feel safe enough from being possibly seen by our friends.

“Don't be upset” she tries and calm me with a kiss and I'd say it works great. But she doesn't need to know.

“Uhm... I'm still a little upset” I tell her after making a stupid scene, licking my lips and clicking my tongue as if I was trying to taste the kiss, just like a weird sommelier does after a sip of wine.

“Hahaha come on, let's go” she gives me another peck and opens the door, as I walk around the car to get to the passenger seat.

“Angie, I'm the last person who can give lectures about Seattle's street map, but weren't we supposed to turn left?” I ask her after our turn at the second crossroad.

“Oh... 'cause... you wanna go back home, right?” she's reaching for something in the glove box with her hand but freezes, as if I had caught her doing something wrong and I can notice her suddenly saddened eyesin the dark too.

“No, I mean, not necessarily”

“'Cause I thought it's still early and...” she puts both her hands back on the wheel and shrugs her shoulders at the same time.

“It's early indeed” it's always too early for me when it's time to say good night.

“I thought... well... we could hang out a little, go for a drive”

“Ok”

“But I can take you home if you want”

“No, I don't wanna go home”

“I didn't even ask you if you're busy tomorrow morning”

“I don't have shit to do tomorrow morning, Angie”

“Maybe you're tired”

“I'm not tired”

“I'll take a U turn as soon as I can”

“Angie?” I take her right hand from the wheel and kiss it.

“Yeah?”

“Take me for a ride”

“Ok”

“Where are you taking me?” I ask her as I let go of her hand and this time she opens the glove compartment and takes out a caseless cassette, putting it into the car player right away.

“To some place... you'll see” she smiles as Jim Morrison starts to sing.

Yeah, I'm a back door man

I'm a back door man

The men don't know

But the little girls understand

“Do we have a long way to go?” I ask a while later, as Brian Ferry's just admitted Love is the drug he prefers and we take Greenwood Avenue.

“No, we're almost there”

“Almost... can you be more specific?” I like to tease her and see her faces.

“Less than ten minutes and we're there. Are you getting bored?”

“Never, with you”

“So why are you so impatient?”

“I'm not impatient, I only wanna know if this place you want to take me to is within the borders of the United States or not. 'Cause if you, by any chance, are taking me to Canada, so our friends don't catch us, I warn you I didn't bring my passport”

“Ha ha” Angie gives me a nasty look, then her hand happens to land on my knee, which she gently squeeze.

“We're not crossing boundaries then”

“No, we're not”

“Where are we going then?”

“You'll see, soon”

She turns left at the next crossroad, then left again and the trees become thicker.

“I already know anyway: you're taking me to a park”

“Maybe” she lets go of the wheel and put her hands up wide open as to say who knows.

“No! You're taking me to the beach” I correct myself when, after a short while, the road goes downhill, plants thin out and I can see the horizon better.

“One thing does not exclude the other”

“I love watching you drive manual, you know?” I tell her, completely dropping the subject, lost in her driving movements.

“Haha my father taught me when I was twelve. And you?”

“Actually, I can't drive manual”

“No?? Really? You can't drive with a clutch?” she lookes at me shocked for a moment as she drives gently through the curves of the basically desert road.

“Hehe for real, I swear, I never tried”

“I'll teach you!”

“Thank you. I bet you're a good teacher”

“Good but strict”

“That's just perfect”

A yellow sign indicates a dead end street and that's when I figure out we've got to our destination. Angie turns into a rather narrow road on the left, then stops at some kind of natural open space, a clearing among the trees, with the front end of the car facing the wide free view of the ocean.

“Wow”

“From the upper parking lot the view is better but here it's quieter” she remarks as she turns off the car.

“I see” I look around and we're actually well hidden from the houses along the coastline.

“Do you like it?” she questions as she unwraps her scarf and throws it on the back seat. And from the speakers the Stones fade out and Nico's both smooth and scratchy voice comes in.

Here she comes, you better watch your step

She's going to break your heart in two

I have very little to watch out for by now. I'm in too deep and my heart is hers. It's not broken but she can do whatever she wants with it, even though she doesn't have false colored eyes and she's not an evil femme fatale like the one in the song.

“Yes, I like it here...” she can be a little tease though, with that smile of hers that... wait a minute “Angie?”

“Yes” she replies as she unbuttons her coat.

“I have this small sudden nagging question”

“Hehe that is?”

“Did you take me here to fuck?”

“EDDIE!”

“Fuck in a Mini Cooper?”

“HAHAHA”

“Why are you laughing? I only asked a question” actually I'm having such fun too but in subtler way.

“You just really don't know how to beat around the bush, right?”

“No, you should know by now... so?”

“So, I took you here so we could stay here, together, alone, and chill”

“That is, fucking”

“Not just that!”

“But also that”

“Well... if you want to, yes” she admits and I can see her blushing in the dark. This thing about initiatives is getting out of our hands. I'm not complaining though.

“I want to. But to do that, we could have gone to my apartment. I mean, it'd have been even better”

“Uhm not sure about that” she shakes her head not convinced.

“Both for the temperature and for the comfort”

“You're forgetting a small detail”

“What?”

“A not so small detail, who lives with you and his name is Jeff”

“Jeff knows when it's time to mind his own business, he's a smart guy”

“Too smart, that's the problem”

“Umph...”

“And you don't have such a view at your place” she retorts pointing through the windscreen.

“Whatever the place, the view is always spectacular when you're there”

“So basically you're telling me you wanna go back home” she looks down and plays dumb because she'd rather die than take a compliment.

“No, I wanna stay here and enjoy the view from up close” I hug her and my hands slip under her coat, pulling her closer for a kiss. The first one of a long series.

“So, did you like this... initiative?” she asks pulling back from my lips and still playing with my hair.

“Hehe yes, I liked it a lot. I'd just like to know how everything's gonna happen... from a, you know... technically”

“Just use some imagination”

“Next time you wanna have car sex, tell me first and I'll take my truck”

“Hahaha it's not that larger than this inside, you know?”

“But it has a bed, you know, in the back”

“Hahaha very comfortable and most of all very private”

“It depends on where you go...”

“Oh my god, you had sex in the truck bed??” Angie pulls away from me and looks at me as if she saw a ghost.

“A couple of times, yes”

“Fo the pleasure of the pervs and the voyeurs”

“I first made sure nobody was around”

“You're such a showoff!”

“There was nobody around, you asshole”

“Hehe there's nobody around here either”

“Right”

We looked at each other for a second, stop laughing and basically throw at each other at the same time. Angie shrugs off her coat and somehow flings it to the back, then climbs over me and straddles my legs. All this keeping her lips stuck to mine.

“Recline the back rest a little” she whispers into my ear.

“Like this?” I barely touch a side lever and find myself in a completely lying position in a second.

“Haha a little less than that, here, like this. Maybe try and go back a little too” Angie helps pulling me up a bit, then reaches for another toggle, under my seat I guess, and pushes it back, so that she wins some more vital space.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, don't worry”

“Are you sure? You've got one knee against the door and another on the seatbelt attachment”

“I've never been more comfortable” if I don't like beating around the bush when I speak, Angie is the one who doesn't waste any time with actions., 'cause she's already trying to unzip my pants. She makes it and it only takes her a few seconds to make me go completely nuts. Then she pulls away all of a sudden and sits back on the driver seat.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“Wait, I just have to remove... some obstacles” I see her unlacing her shoes, fidgeting with her jeans , and I guess with her panties too, before straddling me again. I pull everything down too in the meantime to make the whole dynamic easier. I don't pay attention to the fact I haven't seen her launch anything else towards the back seat and only when I touch her I realize she's still wearing one leg of her pants.

“You do things halfway” I smile against her lips.

“What if we have to get dressed quickly?”

“You thought about everything, didn't you?”

“You know I'm a neat person”

“Uhm I can see that. The tape too...”

“Which tape?”

“The sex mix tape we've been listening to since we left the restaurant”

“What?!” Angie springs up, I don't know if it's for my remark or for the way I'm touching her.

“Don't even try to pretend it's not a car sex compilation”

“It's not!”

“Tim Buckley has just said he wants to be your victim of love” and I relate to him a lot.

“It's a mix... kind of romantic maybe... that's just how it turned out”

“It's such a romantic mix that he asked you to whip him and spank him straight away”

“Have you ever heard about metaphors? And you even write songs”

“Metaphors. Sure. So when Eric Clapton talks about making love against the wall, is it some metaphor too? And I won't say what comes later in the song, that's even worse, 'cause I'm sure you already know” I unbutton her sweater and her shirt together, while she shrugs and tries to play dumb.

“It's just a great song”

“They're all great” I hold her and manage to pull her back over me.

“I don't wanna listen to shitty music when I drive” she states before taking my breath away with a kiss.

“Or whenever you sneak off with your boyfriend” I immediately give her a taste of the same medicine

“I'm neat” she stares at me before her witty reply. By the way... this tape... did she do it for the occasion? I mean, especially for tonight or for me anyway? Or is it a ready to use mix tape she keeps in her car in case she needs it? And if that's the case, who did she use it with? Did she make that tape with someone else in her mind? But most of all, why do I have to think about this bullshit right now?

“You forgot one thing though...” I'd better focus.

“What?”

“I'm not ready to be a dad”

“Uh! No... I got them, don't worry” all her confidence disappears in one second, Angie sits up and turns around, not only to try and open the glovebox but also to hide a little hint of embarrassment.

“You're my favorite neat freak”

“Actually... ehm... you wouldn't run that risk anyway... since... you know, I'm on the pill but, I mean...” she starts stuttering and opens the box without looking at me.

“Ok”

“I'd rather keep it that way, for now, I mean, I think it's better if we use them all the same... if it's not a problem for you...”

“Angie”

“At least for now, since... well... we just... and considering what happened before...”

“ANGIE?”

“Yes?”

“I sad it's alright, stop being paranoid, ok?”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure, we'll think about it later, right now it's great this way”

“Ok”

“Now come here”

“Here where? I'm already here”

“I mean, closer”

“We're in a Mini, I can't go that far”

“I'm cold and lonely down here on the passenger seat. And I want you. So come back here” I pull her close, tugging at the hems of her shirt and she gives in, either 'cause she's afraid I'll tear it up or because I convinced her with my words.

“The needy puppy look is almost more powerful than dimples” she rolls her eyes and smiles as she comes back to me.

“Really?”

“I said almost”

**

I still don't understand how can Angie have all this power over me, how can she disarm me and surprise me every time. Even a crazy stupid thing, like driving up to an unknown hidden place for some night acrobatic contortion in a small car, something I haven't done for almost ten years, becomes special with her, and not just for the act itself. Right now I'm totally enraptured by the girl whose body is over mine but not just because she's literally over me. The truth is she's over, under, inside, outside, on my shoulders, between my legs, in my head, in my blood, on my skin and all around. I make love to her in the most uncomfortable way and place but my only thought is that I want her closer, and closer, as if it was even possible. My only thought is not a thought because I can't think now, it's only an instinct, a sensation, a need, like hunger and thirst. I kiss her and through my closed eyelids I can see colors and bright dots, waves of light like electric shocks given from sudden lighting bolts. And the jolts of electricity become closer and closer together and more intense and I think I'm going crazy, 'cause I've never felt something like this. Until Angie disengages her mouth and uses it to speak.

“What the- OH FUCK”

So, I don't know if it's because of Angie, but we got each other so twisted up that we didn't notice the police car appeared who knows how long ago, from out of nowhere and parked a few yards from here with the lights on.

“Oh oh”

“OH OH? The fucking police is here and all you can say is Oh oh?” Angie comes back to reality much more quickly than me. I'm still kind of dizzy.

“What should I say? Would shit be more appropriate?”

“Yes, definitely”

“Are you getting dressed?”

“Oh of course not! I'll just stay here, waiting for the cops butt naked” Angie frantically gets dressed, whereas I do everything at a slower pace. I can say it's also easier for me.

“Don't panic too much, they may think you wanna hide something”

“Hiding something is exactly what I'm trying to do” she hurriedly pulls up her pants and starts buttoning down her sweater, ignoring the shirt underneath, and that might be on purpose or not.

The moment we hear someone knocking on the window we're both startled. Angie looks at her left, then right in front of her, then towards me and shakes her head with an imperceptible movement before wearing the most innocent expression I've ever seen on her face since I first met her.

“Good evening, officer” she addresses one of the guys who killed our fun tonight after rolling down the window on her side. From the shadow I see through my window, I can say his colleague is on my side.

“Good evening... although good night would be more appropriate, what do you think?” we got the cop who tries to be funny. Fuck.

“Well, yeah, hehe!” Angie decides to go along and I agree with her plan “How... ehm... how can I help you?”

“Uhm let me think, why don't you start by turning on the light and give me your document, miss?”

“Sure!” Angie stretches out towards the back seat and the policeman knocks lightly on the windscreen of the car with his billy club pointing at the space where the rearview mirror is, to catch her attention and let her understand she has to switch on the interior lights first. She gasps then obliges, before starting to look for her papers again.

“Keep calm” I whisper as she takes her beg and gives everything to the officer. I'd rather be the driver, I'm afraid Angie will get nervous and do something wrong. I think it's the first time the police stops her.

“Thank you, I'd like to see the ones of your... friend too... please” the guy gives me an extremely bad look and at the same time someone knocks at my window. As I turn around I see a female silhouette gesturing for me to wind it down.

“Good evening, here it is” I take out my wallet very slowly, find my driving licence and give it to the policewoman.

“Angelina W. Pacifico... Idaho, huh?”

“Yeah, I moved here a few months ago” Angie deliberately adds something as an answer to a question no one asked, trying to look willing to cooperate.

“1972. Wow, it almost seems true hahaha!” the officer waves the document in the air and laughs through gritted teeth looking at his partner.

“It seems? Of course it's true!” Angie gets upset and I go pale in a second because if she starts responding to his provocations, we'll be dead.

“If you say so... I'll check it out”

“Feel free to check, so you can see for yourself!” fucking dead.

“Why don't you also give me your registration doc, so I can check that too, miss”

“Alright! I'll give it to you immediately, then you can also frisk me, him and search my whole car, my conscience is clear!”

“Do you know you've just given me a great idea, Miss Pacifico?” the jerk laughs again and I hope Angie will soon take that angry look off her face as I see her getting out the car documents.

“26 years old. Aren't you a little too old for that girl?” the police woman asks me after she's checked my licence and I decide to keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately someone else has a different opinion.

“I AM OF AGE! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Shut up!” the officer's yell catches me off guard since it comes from my side. Apparently he has come to get my document from his colleague. After that he goes back to their car for the checking.

“Angie, don't talk, please” I hiss and hope she'll follow my advice.

“Wether you're of age or not, he's still a little older than you” the woman leans down on the car door and talks gently to Angie through the window.

“That's not a crime” she says in a lower voice and I don't even know if the officer heard her. Maybe she finally understood what the correct behaviour is.

“You're going to the University of Washington, right?” the policewoman asks. She clearly wants to chit chat to kill time and ease the tension.

“Yes, how do you know?”

“The bump sticker”

“Oh right! Yeah, I moved here for that, to go to college”

“With your family?” ok, the Good cop/Bad cop operation has officially started.

“No, by myself”

“So, you're living on your own, you've got an apartment...”

“Well, yeah”

“And you?” this time she talks to me and to do that she points her flashlight right at my face.

“I don't go to college”

“I mean, don't you have a place?”

“Sure”

“So what the hell are you doing here? In a car? Well, something that looks like a car” she goes on switching off the flashlight and using it to vaguely point at Angie's car and I abruptly turn towards her, 'cause I know this could be enough to get her mad and we'd be fucked. But she keeps on with her quiet act.

“We were going for a ride”

“A ride?”

“Yeah” I repeat.

“But you were parked”

“We stopped for a minute” my girlfriend promptly replies.

“Stopped to do what?”

“Chat” a mechanism has tacitly established by which we take turns giving answers, so this time it's me speaking.

“Talk” Angie adds.

“Listen to music” the answer was suggested by the tape, which goes on and now it's time for... The rain song?? Holy fuck, Angie, couldn't you be more obvious? And she got the nerve to say it's not a car fuck mix tape. The cassette alone would be an evidence of public indecency in court.

“Enjoy the view”

“Yeah, actually as soon as we got here we noticed how focused you were on the view” the woman rolls her eyes and barely holds a laugh. We'd laugh too if we weren't under interrogation.

“She didn't make it clear what kind of view she was talking about... you, you gotta try and be more open minded, please!” the comedian colleague is back and gives Angie her documents back through the open window.

“Right!” the woman exchanges an amused look with her partner, who's back with the questions.

“Right, so, if I search this bumper car, will I find drugs or not?”

“Of course not, officer” she replies with no hesitation and I hope it's true 'cause if he actually finds something, we'll be in double deep shit.

“Guns?”

“What? Please, I hate them”

“And what if I give you a breathalyzer? What will I find?”

“Nothing, 'cause I didn't drink. He did, he had something to drink, but he's not driving, I'm driving, so...”

“Yeah, I see, I got it from the start that you're the one who leads, that was quite obvious hahaha” the cop can't hold himself and bursts out laughing in the end, followed suit by his partner, who scolds him though, also revealing his name to us.

“Barlow!”

“Ok ok, do you know why we stopped you?”

“You didn't, we weren't moving” Angie whispers in a very low voice as she gives me the car registration to put away into the glove box. But it's not low enough.

“Don't try to be funny, Miss! Do you know it or not?” don't tell him that if he does, then you can do it too. I know you're dying to tell him but don't do it, please!

“No” we both reply at the same time. Thank god. At least she knew about this: with the police, always say you don't know.

“'Cause you think that fucking in a car in a public place is a normal thing, right?”

“It's not public if nobody's there, is it?” my girlfriend tries but she'll be very disappointed.

“On what rulebook did you read this?” he answers sarcastically.

“I hope you're not studying law, darling”

“No. I study cinema”

“Uh! So you were rehearsing a scene! That's what it was!” these two are having the time of their life with us.

“Barlow, shut up! Ehm ehm we're patrolling the area because there have been some robberies lately. There's a gang who targets couples who come here at night to park, like you guys”

“So if I were you, I'd change my habits a little” the guy adds as he starts breathing again after his fucking laughter fits.

“You have an apartment each, just go there”

“O'Hara, can't you understand? There must be some cheating going on here! He leaves his girlfriend at home with an excuse and meets his younger mistress, am I right or am I wrong?”

“NO!” Angie reacts outraged and I feel this night will last much much longer.

“You can tell us, I mean, this surely is not a crime” Barlow leans down and folds his arms against the window opening in the car door, almost diving inside.

“There's no girlfriend at home”

“So she's the cheater”

“No one's cheating on anyone, I'm her boyfriend, we're together”

“Ok so, help me understand: you're together, I mean, in a regular relationship, she's legal, you both have a place... annoying roommates?” agent O'Hara counts the elements that don't add up to her on her fingertips.

“No, I mean, not too much” Angie looks at me as she replies, as if she was looking for a suggestion or, most likely, 'cause she finds it all unreal, just like me.

“So why arent' you at home?”

“You gotta ask her” I don't know why I answer like that, I can't even say if I did it for real, I don't even notice. It just comes out like that, spontaneously.

“Eddie?!”

“Tell us, Angie, why aren't you at home?” the comedian gets curious and calls her by her first name.

“Because... because it's a new thing”

“And we got that, also considering the... the enthusiasm” he goes on, earning the umpteenth fake nasty look from his partner.

“She doesn't want to tell our friends” and I guess this is me again, freewheeling talking.

“Why? Is there some ex?” O'Hara questions and now we went from interrogation to gossiping.

“No. I mean, yes,” Angie corrects herself when she sees me making a face “but that's not the reason”

“What is it then? Don't tell me you're ashamed of him? I'm not particularly attracted to long-haired men but he seems a good looking guy to me, after all”

“I'm not ashamed at all, he's... he's very good looking, he's perfect, in everything” are we going from gossip to confessions? Wait a minute, what did she just say?

“It's just... well, we know the same people, it's a whole group of friends. And some of them play in a band, with him”

“Musicians, huh? We'd better do a search after all” Barlow tells another shitty joke but his colleague ignores him and focuses on the current topic.

“And are they closer to you or him? Are they more your friends or his?”

“Well, I got to know them a few months before but... I'd say they're friends of both of us in the same way”

“Ok, so you're both afraid to lose them and to make him lose them, if things went wrong, right?”

Angie nods in silence to O'Hara's words and I'm completely stunned. Lose them? Suddenly a new light is shed on the situation, a new point of view I hadn't considered before. Angie told me she doesn't trust herself but she trusts me and I didn't fully believe this version. She's always been worried about our friends, 'cause they're kind of nosy and always intruding in other people's private life, but I never figured out they were the actual object of her insecurities. The guys.

“I'm afraid they'll judge me or him. I'm afraid I can create problems in the group and that we'll end up parting ways” Angie's still confessing and I wonder if she needed to be pressured by the police to finally tell the truth. But is it Angie, who never talked, or is it me, who never understood?

“But it's just a normal thing, dear! Take each other, leave each other, take each other again, break up again, get together with another guy of the gang. It happens all the time among groups of friends but that doesn't necessarily ruin the friendship” O'Hara lights up a cigarette and from good cop she officially turned into big sister or aunt, the one you can tell everything to.

“Well, I don't know, I've never had a group of friends, I mean, not so big. I've never had so many friends” now everything's clear, shit. She's never had them and she doesn't want to lose them.

“Angie, even if something went wrong between us, don't worry, our friends would kick my ass, not yours. And if one of us has got to take the brush off, well, it's gonna be me” I try and reassure her but looking at her face I guess I'm failing.

“And do you think that would hurt me less?”

“It's like watching Oprah live” Barlow says, totally hooked on our show.

“Angie, friends will be friends. The truth is friends do care, yeah, but not that much. Don't get me wrong, friends love you, give you advice wether you asked for it or not, they can get in the way and root for you or him, but in the end they just want you both to be ok, together or not. At some point they stop and say it's up to you, guys, in the best sense possible. And if they disappear in the end, well, it means they weren't true friends”

“Maybe, maybe you're right”

“Sure I'm right!”

“Right or not, you can't come here and have sex anymore, do you understand?” the cop, who was basically collapsing on the car door, stands up straight and gives a couple of punches against the roof of the car, maybe to wake himself up.

“Sure”

“It won't happen again”

“Fine. It's getting late, let's go O'Hara”

“Go home, guys. And drive safe, Angie, ok?”

“Ok, thanks officer”

“Good night”

“Good night”

We roll up the windows at the same time, Angie starts the car and waits.

“Why aren't they moving?”

“They're waiting for us to go first, to make sure we are actually leaving” I explain and smile for the fact that she didn't understand that. And this quick scene is like a little representation of her innocence. Sometimes I forget that she's so young and has little experience of everything, and no, I'm not only talking about how to handle the police when they pull you over.

“Oh right, I didn't think about that” Angie snorts and we leave.

“That was so weird” we're back in town when Angie finally breaks the silence.

“Yeah”

“Such an embarrassing moment”

“Very embarrassing” it opened my eyes a little though, so it actually turned out to be useful. Since we left we haven't mentioned what had happened, we haven't mentioned anything because we just kept our mouth shut and only exchanged quick looks and smiles and sang a few songs. Now that everything's started sinking in, it's time to return to the core of the matter and do the talk, this time only between us.

“It never happened to me”

“To me neither” I had dealt with the police before but not for this kind of infringment.

“I've been there many times and I never saw the cops there, these robberies must be something recent”

It takes me a while to register what she said, maybe 'cause I'm still thinking about the infraction we were committing on these front seats like an hour ago. But when I figure it out it's like I've been awaken with someone throwing a bucket full of ice at my face.

“Never? Do you mean... you'd been there already?”

“Sure. If not, how could I know the place?” she calmly answers, so either she's crazy or she doesn't know where I'm getting at or she doesn't care.

“With who?” Angie's mouth opens up forming a small O and so I guess now she does know where I'm getting at.

“What do you mean, with who? With... with Meg”

“With Meg”

“Yeah, she's been living here for so long, she knows the area. She took me there”

“She took you to the beach at night to do what?”

“To go for a ride! To just stay there, drinking, smoking, gossiping, normal stuff”

“And that's it?”

“Hahaha why? What else do you think we were doing there?”

“I mean, you went there with Meg and that's it? But you said you've been there many times”

“And with you?”

“Ok, so, with Meg and I... and no one else?”

“Well...”

“Angie?”

“Not just you two...”

“Have you been there with Jerry?”

“...”

“Angie, I'm talking to you”

“I know, it's only me here” we're at the traffic lights and Angie looks around inside the car, even giving a glance at the back seat, before turning back to look at me.

“So?”

“I didn't go there with Jerry”

“So would you swear to me that you didn't take me to the same place where you used to park with your ex boyfriend?

“No, I didn't!”

“Ok”

“With Jerry.. ehm... we used to go to the upper parking place on the hill”

“WHAT?!”

“What? Why are you mad?”

“Why? What do you mean why? You took me to the same place where you fucked your ex and I'm not supposed to get mad?!”

“I never fucked Jerry there”

“The fact it was a different paking lot 50 yards away doesn't change anything, Angie”

“I mean I never did it with Jerry in the car!” she exclaims as she gestures an apology to the guy in the car behind us, who's just honked at us because we didn't go immediately when the lights turned green. What the hell does this fucker want? Is he in a fuckin' hurry or something? Fuck you man.

“Didn't you?”

“No, I never... I never had full sexual intercourse with Jerry in a car”

“This use of very, very specific and technical terminology looks kind of suspicious to me”

“We kissed and stuff”

“I don't wanna know” she says it and I'm already imagining it, I mean, I can imagine even if she doesn't say anything. My imagination doesn't need further help.

“But you practically asked me”

“I'm not stupid, I get that you didn't fuck him there, but still you did something. That's the same to me”

“Who cares who I took there first, now I got you, I'm with you”

“I care because... because it's weird, it gives me a... bad feeling... I don't like it”

“I told you as soon as we got there that I had already been there, but you didn't say anything then. Why are you suddenly upset now?”

She's right actually, she told me, I don't remember the exact words, but she let me know. The truth is I was so enraptured by the situation, by her, her scent, her gestures as she was taking off her coat, her big eyes, her naughty heart-shaped smile... I was like drunk and didn't understand shit.

“Maybe I hadn't noticed then, and now I did”

“I come from another state, I don't know many places. If I want to go to some quiet place with you, of course I have to follow... ehm... the beaten road”

“Well let's just stay home then and avoid going anywere else, problem solved”

“If you say so... Jerry's been in my bed too, shall we stop going there too?” Angie gives me a perplexed look and I know, I know I'm crazy, that I'm the sick one, that retroactive jealousy makes no sense. But I'm so fucking mad right now!

“Could you... could you just not remind me, please?”

“But... are you jealous of Jerry?”

“No” nooooo, I'm not! Why do you think that?

“Ok. Also because it'd be really stupid if you were” there you go.

“Exactly”

“Because I'm not interested in him, there's no chance at all I could be into him ever again and go back to him anytime soon” are you sure about that? I mean, on your part I know there's no chance. But Jerry, he still has hope. He told me! And this is a piece of information I'm gonna keep to myself.

“I know”

“Fine”

“Did you use the tape with him too or is it exclusively for me?”

“I did the mix tape yesterday, for you, for the occasion” she retorts tiredly as she rolls her eyes.

“Ok”

“Are you happy about that?”

“Very happy. I like it”

“Thank god”

“And how was Jerry's tape?”

“Jesus... Jerry never had a tape”

“I don't believe you”

“Believe what you want, I could as well not answer, because in the end that's none of your business. Yet I answered and told you the truth” she's right, what she had with Jerry is none of my business. And I'm acting like a jerk.

“Sorry”

“It's ok”

“I'm stupid sometimes”

“I noticed that”

“Then it goes away and I'm back to normal”

“I hope so”

“Can I borrow the tape? I wanna make a copy”

“I hope it goes away soon, very soon”

**

“Here we are” Angie stops one block away from my condo, as she's been doing lately every time she takes me home.

“Look, Jeff's not the bored meddler housewife who waits at the window to check who I'm going out with. He doesn't give a fuck, I'm not Stone” I joke to ease the tension, which is still on despite my apologies and the shit I say.

“Friday”

“Friday what? What happens?”

“You're playing at the Ok Hotel on Friday”

“Yes”

“And we're also celebrating Jeff's birthday, that's gonna be two days later”

“Right”

“And on Monday you'll start recording Eleven”

“Hahaha the name's Ten”

“But it's eleven songs! It doesn' t make sense, I told you!” she finally turns around to face me and her hands move to the lower part of the wheel.

“What's the point? It's also our first record, should we call it One? Or First? Hehehe���

“You can laugh as much as you want, when you won't know how to call your tenth album, then we'll see who'll have the last laugh”

“The tenth? Do you believe we'll last that long?”

“Sure! But you'll split up right because of that record, 'cause you won't agree on how to call it, and you'll be torn between... I don't know... a surfing brand and a Seattle Supersonics bench player”

“Hahaha that's if the Seattle Supersonics will still exist by then”

“Why wouldn't they?” she asks suddenly serious, in her typical adorable way of focusing on totally secondary aspects.

“Do you ever think about the future? I mean, future future, like in twenty or thirty years” I do. Now, for example, I'm picturing myself twenty years from now, taking to you in a car, maybe as we get back home from a Sonics' game.

“Uhmmm no, I mean, not in detail. But I'm eager to know if Kubrik was right about 2001 or if in 2019 we'll have android replicants slaves like in Blade Runner. Yeah, that's something I often think about”

“Hehe I mean your future, what's gonna happen to you personally, where you'll be at. I mean, where you picture yourself and what do you see yourself like... stuff like that” I ask her again and I'd want to confess that sometimes I do think about my future. And she would make fun of me, 'cause someone used at living the moment who thinks about the future doesn't make sense. But I'd pretend I didn't hear her and I'd say that I don't know if I'll get there but sometimes I like to think of myself in twenty or thirty years, maybe with shorter grey hair or no hair at all, living off my music, married, with two or three kids. And that's how I'd scare her to death and she'd definitely run away from me.

“Well, no, honestly I don't. I only hope I'll get my degree before then”

“What? A control freak like you doesn't plan her future? You surprise me”

“You can't controll the distant future, like the past. The only thing you can have control on is the present. Or the near future” she shrugs as her eyes wander through the windshield.

“You're living the moment too, then? Should I expect you to climb some building in your free time?”

“Hehe no but my planning time is short term. For example, this time I planned until Friday, as I was telling you, before we got lost in one of our typical nonsense conversations” I love our typical nonsense conversations.

“What happens on Friday?”

“I though we could do it on Friday”

“Do what? Climb some building? I'd start with something iconic, like that Hat'n'Boots shit at the gas stations, what's its name...”

“I thought we could say it on Friday”

“Say what?”

“About us... to our friends”

“Uh” I can't believe that. Am I dreaming? Yes, come on, the cops story was too weird, of course it's all a dream, I should have known.

“Since everybody's gonna be there for different reasons, I think that could be the right time. So, you know, we'll say it just once” she keeps talking and strangely I didn't wake up yet.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“You don't have to do it just because two fucking cops told you to”

“It's not for that”

“Neither because I got mad for no reason a minute ago”

“Not even for that”

“Why then?”

“Hahah you've been pestering me to tell everybody from the start and now you're making a fuss?” Angie lets go of the wheel and turns around towards me completely.

“I'm not making a fuss, I just want you to be sure and it seems strange to me that you got convinced in a couple of hours”

“I didn't get conviced now, I've always thought we'd say it sooner or later obviously. Now I realized the moment has come”

“Has it?

“Yes”

“Ok”

“Great”

“We're doing it on Friday”

“Alright”

“And how do we do it? I mean, practically, how will we do? Should I get on stage, point at you and say into the mic Just so you know, that girl down there is my girfriend?”

“If you dare doing something like that, you won't even be alive for Pearl Jam's first album, much less for the tenth” she threatens me so good that I'm scared for real.

“Should I get some posters printed?”

“We won't have to do anything special, we'll just act normal”

“And how will we communicate with our friends? Telepathically?”

“We'll act normal, do as we always do when we're alone and they're not around”

“Do you mean tear our pants off and jump on each other?” I know, I know I'm ajerk. She's finally opening up and I just talk bullhsit. But I can't help it, that's how I am, especially when I'm happy.

“Eddie!”

“You're fixating on public places, huh? I didn't know this... exhibitionist side of you, ouch!” I insist as I try and dodge her slaps.

“You're such an ass!”

“Hehe come on, I was kidding”

“I'm talking serious stuff and you make fun of me”

“I joke because I'm happy for your decision”

“Anyway... I meant normal stuff, walking hand in hand, hugging, kissing, but without showing off too much, discreetly but so that everyone understands. And they'll come to ask us Do you have to tell us something? or  Are you a couple? and at that point we'll only have to say yes, short answer, no further explanation needed”

“You're a genius”

“Do you think it'll do?”

“Sure it will do, I think it's a very good idea”

“Ok, it's a deal then”

“And since we're telling everybody next Friday, could you please drive me home?”

“Hahaha no”

“And maybe come in with me”

“Is it Friday already?”

“Uhm no”

“Forget it then”

“How long is it until Friday?”

“Not that long. Good night” Angie gets close to give me what in her intentions was supposed to be a quick kiss but I can't resist and hold her for much longer.

“You're freezing, put your coat back on” I tell her as I unwillingly pull away from that cold hug. Cold in terms of temperature only.

“You're right, I left so fast that I forgot to put it on” she follows my advice and grabs it from the back seat.

“So... good night” I kiss her once again, open the door and get out of her car.

“Good night, I'll call you tomorrow, ok?” I nod at her and smile internally. I love when she calls. Then suddenly, right when she's about to start the car again, I remember a not so small detail.

“Angie, wait!” I knock against the car door on her side a couple of times, she brakes and rolls the window down.

“What's wrong? Did you forget anything?” she asks as she looks around inside the car.

“What does W stand for?”

“What?”

“The cop, when he was reading through your driving licence, he said Angelina W. Pacifico. What does W stand for?

”Oh. That W” she stiffens and the engine goes off, I don't think she turned it off on purpose.

“Yep, that one” I lean down and look at her through the open window, waiting for an answer.

“It's a first letter”

“I got that. The first letter of...”

“Of a name”

“Ok, and what's this name?”

“My second name”

“That is...?”

“That is... a name starting with W” she gives me a pained look and I feel she's not done with her blabbering.

“Hahaha what's that, another of your secrets?”

“Exactly! Good night, Eddie” she's about to wind up the window but I put my hand in the way and stop her.

“Hahaha good night my ass, tell me your name!”

“Do I have to?”

“You're my girlfriend, I gotta know your full name!”

“I don't know your full name”

“I was born Edward Louis Severson III, I was Edward Jerome Mueller for a while and now I'm Edward Jerome Vedder, 'cause I took my mother's last name”

“Jerome and Louis are lovely names” she remarks, focusing on the names and completely ignoring the anagraphic mess that is my identity.

“I bet your second name's lovely too”

“No, it's not”

“W as in... Wendy?”

“Nope”

“Wanda?”

“No”

“Wilhelmina? Winifred?”

“No and no”

“Winona”

“I wish. It's not even a name”

“It's not a name, what does it mean?”

“It's a name that is not a name, it's... it's a thing”

“A thing? Wait... hippie parents, right?”

“Ehm... yeah, something like that”

“Willow!”

“No”

“Water”

“No, good night Eddie” she restarts the car and at least my desperate expression has the power to bring back a smile on her face.

“Shit, you can't leave me like this!”

“Yet I'm doing it, nighty night!” Angie goes away just like that and leaves me here, alone, to rack my brain on the umpteenth mystery, a new thing I don't know about her and I'm looking forward to know.

“No no no, Grace, I'm sorry but I have to tell you: you got it all wrong. What about this guy here? Where did he come from? Do you wanna go? Just go! How much space do you need to pass a Granada diesel?” without taking anything away from my dear father's car, it's not exactly the fastest model produced by Ford.

“Why?”

“Do you want me to pull over? Is it enough or do I have to get out and help you push your car? Oh there you go! Good boy! What do you mean, why? Do you see any logic in it?” the asshole passes me and I can go back to torture Grace.

“Well, apart from the night guard who was about to catch us, it was nice and it seemed like you were having fun”

“I was! The night pic nic at the abandoned factory was cool. And also running from the guard. Well, if you can call it running. You were as slow as a snail. If the guy was at least a little in shape, he'd have got us”

“He'd have got me, since you fled without even waiting for me” she sulks.

“I was waiting for you in the car”

“Sure”

“With the engine on, I had a detailed plan in my head”

“I can imagine”

“Anyway, the date was an 8, I didn't mean that”

“What else then?”

“The cassette. It's all wrong” I'm not saying she has to be on Angie's level, she's sort of a black belt in the art of making mix tapes. But this is a complete mistake. If I had known, I'd not have asked her to bring something to listen to in the car.

“Hahaha they're songs I like, how can they be wrong?”

“It's not the songs, it's how you put them together. You broke every rule for the creation of a mix tape” the songs, taken individually, go from ok to amazing. Some even surprised me. I had no idea Grace knew bands like Cock Sparrer or Japan, which have got nothing to do with each other. And of course one comes after the other in Grace's mix.

“Do rules exist for that?”

“Sure they do!”

“Tell me one of those so-called rules”

“Well, first of all, you've got no theme”

“A theme?”

“Yeah, a theme, a common thread, something they have in common”

“The theme is: Songs I like”

“Nuh-uh that's not how it works. You gotta tell a story and not just throw in random tracks. You mixed songs of different genres, decades, mood, even different languages!”

“I love that song by Ofra Haza!”

“Slow ones, then fast ones, then all the slow ones. No! And you can't just pick a lo-fi tune and then follow with a super produced song”

“I'm not a musician, I don't care about technicalities, I just go with my feelings”

“What kind of insane feelings bring you to the point of putting Bootsy Collins right after Bauhaus?”

“They both set... an atmosphere” Gracie shrugs but I go on with my rant.

“And you selected live tracks too... live tracks... in a compilation... uhm... that's a no-no”

“Ok, so how do you grade the cassette?”

“Unclassifiable. Try again”

“And how do you grade these instead?” she crosses her legs to show me her new pair of boots. As if I hadn't noticed them already.

“A 10, of course. Pete, your ex, advised you good” they're brown, with thin tight laces and some sort of side floral embroidery.

“Pete is not my ex and you know it. And don't pretend to be jealous, nobody falls for that”

“I'm not jealous, I was simply acknowledging his refined taste” and they look great with those corduroy shorts.

“And by the way, I didn't buy them there, I found them in a thrift shop downtown” I bask in the belief she bought them especially for me, because she knows the effect they have on me.

“They're not bad. Although you didn't buy them from Pete” on the other hand though I don't want her to think I'm some kind of perv who can't get an erection without seeing a nice pair of boots. And generally I don't want her to believe I'm that kind of person you have to necessarily surprise every fucking time with something weird and over the top. That's the impression I got but maybe it's just me. I mean, the date thing is funny but mostly because it's our thing and not because of the peculiarity of the date choices.

“You're an asshole, Stone. Did somebody ever tell you?”

“Yeah. But it sounds better when you say it” I reply, quickly taking her hand and kissing it and I really wanna see her comeback to my masterstroke.

“Sounds better than my mix tape too?” she's good too, I have to admit it.

“Definitely. Also because it doesn't take that much...” but she doesn't know yet how much I like having the last word.

“Right. As much as it took me to realize you're an asshole” she retorts with a wink. The last word, she loves stealing it from me so much.

**

“Are you sure you don't want anything?” Grace asks me from the bathroom, while I focus on one of the fishtanks.

“Sure, I'm full” she must have prepared like twenty sandwiches for the pic nic, plus the wine. Yeah, I'm full.

“Can't you make a tiny little room in your stomach for dessert?”

“I think I don't have any room left in any internal organs, even if I wanted to. Maybe into my ears, I could try but...”

“Not even for this dessert?” Grace comes out and the way she shows up is not new to me but not less extraordinary.

“Well... maybe... just a little bite...” I think my internal organs are exploding the moment Grace walks up to me, wearing nothing but her boots.

I instinctively back up but I don't know why, this fucking instinct must be broken because I have no intention to escape her attentions. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by her beauty. Maybe I'm still a little tipsy.

“Perfect.” Grace walks my way but instead of hugging me, she passes me by and walks up to the kitchen. I see her move away one of the chairs, maybe the new one, then place her hands on the table to jump on it “So, what are you waiting for? The meal is ready”

“From which porn b-movie did you get this quote?”

“Hurry up or I'll put my clothes back on”

“Ok”

**

“What are you doing tonight? Are you sleeping here?” I'm still trying to remember who I am and where I am and what kind of truck has just hit me, when Grace shows up again in the kitchen wearing pyjamas, brushing her teeth.

“It depends”

“On what?”

“If I can sleep in your bed I'll stay, otherwise I'll go back home” I don't know what gave me the strength to come up with the topic that could bring to a big heavy discussion. Maybe I reached such a balance in our relationship that I can openly talk about everything. Or maybe it's just that my lower back hurts, my leg hurt, all my bones hurt and I'm sleepy, so I'd rather sleep on the closest most comfortable surface.

“Ok, see you tomorrow then” Grace points at me with the toothbrush, then sticks it back into her mouth and goes back into the bathroom.  

“Come on, Pebbles, why do you always act like that?” I get up from the couch, pulling up my boxers and pants, trying not to lose balance, then set up to go to the bathroom to speak face to face like normal people do. But the face to face thing becomes literal when she rushes out of the door like a fury and we almost crack heads.

“What the hell did you just call me?” she asks barely holding a laugh.

“You said your last name means stone, right? I can't call you... She-Stone, that would be weird”

“Stonia?”

“No”

“Stonette?”

“Why can't we sleep together?” I drag her back on the crux of the matter because knowin her, and me, we could go on like this for hours.

“I told you why, it's complicated” Grace walks away from me and stops in front of the couch, as if she wanted to sit there, but then changes her mind and goes on to take a sit at the kitchen table, on the chair right beside the entrance.

“I know but time has passed. And you gotta start somewhere to... get used to another person's presence, right? Let's go step by step, together” I take back the chair Grace had thrown on the side half an hour ago and I sit down, right in front of her.

“I'm not the only one who has to get used to something new, Stone” her words tell me there's clearly something else and I'm not stupid, I've known for a while that it's not just a matter of being used at being single. There's something that's making her insecure. At first I thought it was something in her room, like the tons of stuffed animals or some real animal, some weird pet she didn't want to tell me about. Then I figured out it's more than that. I thought he could have OCD or something like that, something that makes here panic as soon as someone enters in the picture and threatens her balance. I mean, just think about what happened with the chair thing. Maybe she arranges her things on her nighstand following a determined use order or she makes her bed using set squares and a ruler and the thought that someone could mess it up makes her go nuts. I guess she only manages to sleep in her empty bed. Then I thought it could've got something to do with her past, maybe with the long illness she never wants to talk about. Maybe she's taking meds that fuck her up a little or that she simply doesn't want me to see. I even went as far as to thinking she could take some drugs. But no, not Gracie. And what would be the connection with her bedroom?

“Ok, if you tell me what I have to get used to, maybe I can start right now and you can follow suit, what do you think?”

“I wish it was that easy”

“I know it's not easy or I wouldn't have waited so long before putting the squeeze on you”

“Are you putting the squeeze on me?”

“Yes, just talk”

“Do I have to?”

“I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong. For real”

“Oh.” maybe Grace has just realized that I'm being serious and that I won't put up with her elusive explanations anymore “Ok”

“Don't be scared, it's... it's just me.” I stretch my arms out on the table to take both her hands in mine and finally she looks up to me “And you know how smart I am, I can comprehend anything, don't worry”

“Hehehe I know, I can trust you”

“That's it”

“I gotta trust you, I mean, I knew this moment would have come, I have to tell you sooner or later. I can't hide it from you forever. Despite your particular preferences.

“What do you mean?”

“Ugh I can't believe I'm about to have the talk, again” she covers her face with her hands and then runs them through her hair.

“Again?”

“That must be why I became allergic to steady relationships: just to avoid having the same talk each time. But then you came and blew up my plans” Grace takes my hands once again, squeezes them gently and smiles, before letting them go and focusing back on the table cloth's print.

“Which talk?”

“It's not easy for me to feel comfortable with a man... in intimacy”

“Really? 'Cause my joints and I didn't notice” I try and joke to ease the tension but I'm not sure I should. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and let her speak.

“I'm not only talking about that intimacy but rather in general”

“'Cause you need your space and-”

“No, it's not about that. It's... it's a physical thing, Stone”

“Physical?”

“I know, knowing me, one would thing the problem is in my head. And won't deny that, it's a fact that I'm not completely in my right mind”

“Well... you said that, huh?” I shrug and reply to her half smile with a full one.

“But the main problem, well, it's about my body”

“Your body can't possibly have any problem, Pebbles”

“Because you haven't seen all of it, Bam Bam” considering the gravity of the moment, I decide to ignore the nickname. Also because I called for it.

“I haven't, really? What else is there to see, more than I already saw?”

“I'd say that your strange fixation gave me a sort of advantage this time. Or disadvantage. Because thanks to that, I could postpone the talk forever pretending the problem doesn't exist, so it really depends on how you look at it”

“My strange... Gracie, I'm not getting what you're trying to say, could you be clearer?”

“There's something odd in my body, something you haven't seen yet”

“Has it got something to do with your past health problems?”

“Yes”

“Oh Grace, a couple of scars won't make me uncomfortable!” I stand up, ready to take her in my arms and squeeze her to death as a punishment but she keeps sitting, glued to her chair.

“Hehehe scars... I wish it was that!”

“Is it worse?”

“The problem is not something I have but rather something... I don't have”

“I must be dumb, I didn't notice anything”

“Do you know what an osteosarcoma is?”

“Given the name, I'd say a bone disease” the technical medical term breaks into a so far lighthearted conversation and hijacks it towards a darker destination.

“A tumor, for the record”

“Is that what happened to you, years ago?”

“Yes”

“But you won against that fucking tumor, I mean, you're alright now”

“But that fucking tumor left its mark anyway, Stone”

“Grace, seriously, there's nothing that could push me away from you. I know I may look like an uptight fucker but I'm not easily impressed” I'd better avoid telling her that I don't really like needles though.

“Do you know how they cure osteosarcoma?”

“Chemotherapy?”

“Chemotherapy and surgery”

“Ok”

“It started from the big toe, an extremely rare circumstance the doctors said”

“You always have to stand out, right?” I try and keep things light and Grace smiles keeps going along with me but I'm not sure this is the best attitude although I'm not showing it.

“Then it spread to all the toes, then the rest. It was all so fast, one week before I felt good, I lived my life as usual, then my foot hurt while I was jogging and one week later I was risking to lose my leg or worse, to die if it reached vital organs”

“But the super docs did their magic thing and cured you and got you back in shape” I sound like the annoying child who doesn't wanna hear the drama parts of the good night story and wants to get straight to the happy ending so he can fall asleep in peace.

“Yeah, they saved me. At a small cost”

“Grace, I don't give a fuck if your foot is not nice to see, the important thing is that you're here, now, with me, and you can tell this story”

“It's not nice to see because you can't see it, Stone. Didn't you understand? It's not there anymore, I don't have it, I had to have it amputated” I can hear words coming out of Grace's lips but they sound emptied of every trace of sense and meaning. I feel the need to sit down and say something, anything, but whereas I manage to do the first thing, my second goal seems strangely impossible. Maybe for the first time in my life I don't know what to say.  I mean, there are so many things I'd want to say that roll in my head and they all seem stupid, shallow, flat and completely useless.

“Stone?”

And I don't even know how to move now. What do I do? If I back up, I'd look detached. If I get closer, she'll think I'm flaunting a quietness I realistically can't have right now. Same thing if I look at her feet. But if I purposedly avoid looking at them, she'll convince herself she scared me.

“Say something, Stone. Or if you don't wanna say anything, at least close your mouth, you've got it wide open for fifteen minutes” Graces reaches for me over the table and closes my jaw with a light pressure of her hand. Her hand so delicate, sweet, gentle, like her. I can't believe something so terrible could happen right to Grace. Ok, nobody deserves such pain and the world is full of horrors. But I wanna be free to get mad at such an injustice.

“Is it the left one or right one?” I finally speak. And I say something stupid, of course.

“What difference does it make?” Grace looks at me as if I was dumb.

“I just asked”

“The right one”

“And do you have a prosthesis?”

“How would I stand up and walk otherwise?”

“But you wouldn't say it, I mean, when you walk, you walk normally. You're just-”

“As slow as a snail” she finishes my sentence and it's like when in crime movies they give you the ultimate hint and it lights a spark for the detective, who starts going backwards through all the key points of the investigation. In my specific case, all the times I made fun of Grace for being slow.

“God, I'm a jerk” and here's the sudden realization.

“Jerk or not, you couldn't have known this”

“Yes but I feel like shit all the same”

“Stop thinking about it and you'll be better. So, what do you wanna do now?”

“What do I wanna do?”

“From my personal experience, I can say men fall into two categories at this point. I wanna know which one you belong to”

“It depends on the categories” I answer, more and more uncomfortable on this chair. Maybe it's because it's the new one. Yeah, that's it. Grace is right, she's always been right, not all chairs are the same.

“Those who don't wanna see and those who want to look”

“Oh”

“And inside the before mentioned categories, we can find two subgroups: those who don't wanna see that but ask me to show them, because they want to pretend they don't care, and those who are actually curious and would like to watch, but they say no because they don't want me to think they're gross”

“I, well, I guess I belong to a brand new category”

“That is?”

“The ones who don't know what to do”

“Hehe well, that's surely a more honest category” Grace stands up and I immediately do the same.

“Did you tell somebody else? I mean, to our friends?”

“No”

“Why didn't you tell me before?”

“That's not exactly something you say during small talk, what do you think? Hi, I'm Grace, I'm an aquarious and my favorite color is red. Oh and by the way, I only got one foot”

“I... I need... yeah, I mean, I gotta get out” how can I tell her I need to leave without looking like a jerk? I have no idea, and that's why it comes out like shit.

“Are you leaving?” she asks as I take my jacket and start putting it on.

“I need some fresh air”

“Oh, ok”

“And I have to clear my mind.” as I try to put my arm into the second sleeve for the third time unsuccessfully, Grace has pity and helps me “Thank you”

“Are you ok, Stone?” I honestly don't know the answer to this question and I don't even know why.

“Sure, everything's alright.” I take her face into my hands and kiss her “It's just... I didn't see that coming, I have to... process it, figure all this out, that's it” I tell her and myself.

“After all these years, I still haven't found a better way to say it”

“Well, you won't need to find another way now anyway”

“No?”

“No, 'cause you're with me now, you won't have to say it to any other guy” I offer a more sincere smile to Grace, also because she deserve nothing less, and kiss her again.

“Thank god. See, you're not totally useless then”

“Good night, Pebbles”

“Night, Stone” I get out of Grace's apartment, then leave the building, then get into my car and that's when I realize I have been holding my breath the whole fucking time.

[nisaeiam]

TIMELESS - an ACOTAR fanfic

After spending her entire life in Cretea, Zivia finds herself in the company of the Night Court, sent as an emissary to help after the war. As she navigates her way outside her once secluded life, she develops unlikely bonds with the people around her - especially with the one wreathed in shadows.

PROLOGUE, CHAPTER 1, CHAPTER 2, CHAPTER 3, CHAPTER 4, CHAPTER 5, CHAPTER 6, CHAPTER 7

Also posted HERE

CHAPTER VIII

The front gates of Athelwood loomed before her as Mor eased her horse to a slower pace.

She immediately left after their meeting in Velaris, saying something about needing to take care of some important things before leaving again for work when asked by Cassian why she was in such a rush. It wasn't entirely a lie.

She left her mare in the stables then proceeded to the back door of the estate. The smell of garlic bread and roasted chicken greeted her as she walked over to the kitchen.

"Are you cooking?" she gushed at the female who had her face in front of the oven. "Careful, you'll burn your nose."

The woman whipped her head to her and gave her a wide smile.

She felt bad for having to leave her again on her own – alone in this house. They've only been together for a few months after meeting each other during the height of the war with Hybern. She was the mortal girl who was rescued by Feyre and Azriel at the enemy's camp when they retrieved Elain. The two of them somehow bonded before the humans were sent back to their lands. She thought it was just one of her brief affairs but after days of finding herself longing for the woman, she went and asked her if she wanted to stay with her at the Faerie lands.

Her happiness was beyond measure when she said yes. Only to be thwarted by her having to go do the job Rhysand asked her to do. Not feeling quite ready yet to tell her friends about Briar, she decided to let her stay in her secret estate for the meantime.

"I know that look," said Briar as she placed the cooked chicken on the table. Setting the plates, she motioned for Mor to seat down. "I'm going to be fine here. I know you're doing your best to make this world a better place for us. I understand. I also want to have that peace, that freedom to live with each other in harmony." She reached over to grab her hand. "For you and me."

Mor squeezed her hand back and tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes.

Soon.

===============

The sound of dried leaves and twigs crunching under their boots echoed through the empty forest as Zivia and Azriel made their way to the mortal side of the Continent.

After winnowing and flying through the journey, they decided to land in one of the dense forests lining the edge of where once the Wall stood and trek from there. Azriel said that even though the danger had somehow dwindled after the war, humans here are still wary and watchful and going through on foot would be their safest option. She suggested concealing both of them with her magic until they reach their destination, but the spymaster insisted they both needed to preserve their strength for any untoward emergencies. Besides, he said it would be extremely suspicious if the two of them just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the city.

It took them half the day to reach the edge of the forest just before the clearing, and they settled in farthest the city border as the sun dipped in the horizon.

"We'll spend the night here," said Azriel as he surveyed the surroundings. "It will take us another day to reach the center of the town." He turned to her. "Think you could throw an illusion to make us invisible?"

"There isn't much light to manipulate at this hour. It won't be as effective during the day." She'll try her best though. She couldn't be that useless at the very beginning of this mission.

But the shadowsinger just inclined his head and said, "I figured as much".

He then stretched out his hand and swirls of shadows eddied around them like ink in water, concealing them from any prying eyes that were present or any that would find themselves lost on this part of the forest in the middle of the night.

Her brows drew together in slight embarrassment. "Why then ask if you knew…"

He just shrugged in reply. Ignoring him, she threw an air shield around to suppress whatever noise that could reveal their presence, and pulled out a tent she kept hidden in a pocket realm. Azriel was looking at her with a mild surprise on his face.

"I thought it'd be useful one day," she grinned. "Well, what do you know!"

Together, they set the tent up, stepping back to look at their work after they finished. The shadowsinger had his face drawn in a tight frown as he looked at their would-be shelter that is visibly too small for two people, especially with wings. Before he could voice out his concern, she took him by the hand and dragged him inside. His protest died on his lips as he took in what was before them.

Outside, the tent looked like it could barely contain the two of them, but inside, with its considerable space, it was fit to accommodate at most five people inside.

"How?" Azriel breathed as he looked at her.

It was then that she realized that she was still holding his hand, his scars rough on her palm. She quickly dropped it and made an awkward gesture of showing off the tent with her hands, suddenly feeling the need to do something with them.

"It was made by a faerie fabricator back in our island. He always had a knack for creating enchanted objects."

She went on to get more blankets from her magical storage place and laid it out on the ground before setting herself down.

"Make yourself feel cozy." She gestured at the blankets.

Azriel was eyeing her with an amused look as he stepped further into their camp. "I don't suppose you have anything else tucked away in this pocket realm of yours?"

"Ah!"

She held up a finger to him and proceeded to pull out loaves of bread, cheese and a large bottle of wine. "Saves us the effort of having to hunt for dinner."

For a moment, he just stood there staring blankly at her. A small sound escaped from him before he bursted out with full on laughter. She didn't know what to make of it so she just held on to the food and the wine, looking like an idiot. Azriel slumped down across from her and grabbed a slice of cheese, twirling it around his fingers.

"You're wonderfully weird, you know," he said then plopped the cheese into his mouth.

She ducked her head to hide the redness blooming on her cheeks. "I don't know if I should take that as a compliment."

It took a lot more than she wanted for her to meet his gaze. How unnerving it was to sit so close to this male and though she didn't want to admit it, she kind of liked it.

Mother above Zivia, get it together!

She averted her eyes, mentally slapping herself for having such useless thoughts. She reached for the bread just as Azriel reached for one too. Their fingers collided and it was an unknown instinct that made her pull her hand back quickly.

"Sorry. Take it."

Her eyes snagged onto his scarred hands that were partially covered by his gauntlet and that blue crystal thing atop it. She recognized those marks the first time she saw them upon their first meeting at the House of Wind, but held back in asking about it for the mere fact that it was too personal to ask. And she wasn't going to snoop into other's personal lives because she knows all too well what that kind of scars were exactly.

She haven't realized she'd been staring when Azriel spoke, setting down the wine he was drinking and holding up one of his hands, palms away from her to give her a better view of the crystal.

"They're called Siphons. They help us concentrate our powers in battle."

She gave a slow nod of her head, like a child understanding some complicated thing for the very first time.

"But that's not what you were wondering about, were you?"

She tensed as she held his gaze for a moment, and then deadpanned, "Where can I get one?"

It wasn't what he was expecting her to say as he was taken aback by her question. She stretched out her legs in front of her, not breaking eye contact as she grinned at him. "I think it'll look good on me. What do you think?"

He squinted at her, obviously noticing the way she evaded his question. He knew what she really was looking at but she couldn't bring herself venturing into that topic. It was a too private matter for both of them.

"You can't"

She feigned a disappointed look. "Why not?"

"It looks better on us Illyrians."

It was impossible to miss the smirk that flashed across his lips.

"That's not fair! You already look pretty enough even without it."

"So do you."

Her blush was instant but she ignored it. "So you think I'm pretty?"

"That's not what I said."

"I'm going to assume that's what you meant."

He shook his head even as the smile continued tugging on his lips as he gobbled down his bread and wine. It was an awkward turn of events but both of them didn't mind much of it – seemed to enjoy it even.

They finished the rest of their dinner before settling down on their own blankets to sleep.

They were awake before the sun had shown its first light and continued on their journey. When the trees finally gave way to roads with signs of human activity, Zivia threw the illusion around them. They were to pose as a pair of travelers going around the continent in search of good trades. From there, they will gather as much information as they could regarding the state of each kingdom before deciding which one would be the easiest to persuade to their cause.

It was an hour past noon when they arrived at the village. It was a busy day; people were meandering around the square, vendors scattered everywhere, some going so far as walking up to people to offer their goods. She did a mental check to see if their illusion is still intact, just to be sure.

They were busy looking around when a particular merchant snuck up on them.

"Greetings wayfarers." The old man's voice was thick with accent and he spoke with such raspness Zivia wondered if he had been shouting for customers the whole day. "May I bother you for a minute? I have goods that you might want."

He reached into his pouch, his wrinkled fingers fumbling with the knots, and pulled out something bulky. It was covered with sooth-stained cloth and by the shape and sound of it, she made a good guess of what he might be selling.

"Weapons," he said, parting the cloth to reveal stash of knives and daggers. "Made with ash woods."

Azriel was beside her in an instant, slightly blocking her from the vendor with his body.

"Sorry, we have no interest in weapons," he said a little too coldly.

The merchant blinked but extended his hands more to them. "You might need it, especially now they are already among us!"

The collapse of the Wall undeniably made these people cautious. She didn't even know if the weapons were indeed made of real ash woods or just a sham to entice more buyers, but they weren't going to figure that out for themselves.

"We're…fine." She shook her head to the old man and turned to go on their way.

"I haven't seen you around here," the vendor blurted, making them stop. They looked back to see him eyeing them suspiciously.

"We're travelers," Azriel said before she could open her mouth. "From Scythia."

They waited. If the old man doubted them, this could all turn out bad, and she prepared herself just in case he decided to use those weapons on them, fake or not. Azriel seemed to think the same, bracing himself if they needed to make a run for it.

But the old man just gave them a crooked smile and inclined his head as he reached into his pouch again and handed them apples.

"A welcome gift," he said. "May you find our city welcoming enough for you." He sketched a bow before drifting off to find another probable customer.

After rounding the market place for about an hour, they were finally able to find an inn that was cheap enough and comfortable enough for them both. By night, they found themselves seated in a corner of the village tavern, people around drinking shots and dancing along the music created by a small band at the center of the room.

Perfect. In this kind of place, conversations flow freely and with it, information.

"That woman has been staring at you for a while now," she said as she took a sip from her glass.

Azriel turned to where she gestured and saw a lady from the bar staring back at them, twirling her hair in her fingers as she bit her lip.

"Go talk to her."

They both exchanged a knowing look before he rose from his seat and declared, "I'll get a refill."

She eyed the woman who was now greedily smiling at the shadowsinger, her cheeks were tinged bright red, clearly inebriated from alcohol. Good. Drunken people were most likely to tattle, especially drunk ladies who were looking for someone to flirt with.

A group of males strutted into the bar led by a tall muscular man with hair cut so short, he was almost bald. He looked around the room, ordering his friends to get drinks when he spotted her.

"What's a pretty lady doing alone, drinking by herself here?" he said in a gruff voice when he reached her table. "You look like you needed some company." Without invitation, he settled himself down on a seat beside her, draping an arm over her shoulders as he did.

"Somebody get us a drink here!" he shouted over his shoulder.

There was such authority in his voice that made Zivia think that he's more than just a regular patron of this tavern. She turned to see Azriel looking at them with an unreadable face before the woman grabbed him by his chin and leaned in for a kiss. She snapped her attention back at the male beside her, a glass already on his hand.

"You don't look familiar," he told her, downing his drink in one gulp. "Are you a new recruit?"

Recruit?

"Oh." Understanding dawned on her. "No. I'm not."

She shifted on her seat, angling herself to prevent his arm coming in contact with her hidden wings. Also, she was starting to feel uncomfortable around him and his smell was starting to become unbearable too.

Smiling at him, she said, "I'm just a wanderer having some great time in this city."

The man's grin turned wolfish as he inched closer and placed a hand on top of her knee. "I know a place where you can wander and have your greatest time in this city."

It took everything from her to restrain herself from crushing the man's lungs on the spot when he slid his hand up her thighs.

"Yeah?"

"I live not far from here." He continued moving closer to stroke her hair. "My father is out for his faerie hunt so he won't be home for tonight. We'll have the place all to ourselves."

She planted her hands in his chest, pushing him away slightly.

"Faeries?"

His brows rose at her question. "You must not know. There are talks of those creatures crossing over the border after the wall collapsed." He leaned in as if to speak something that must only be kept between the two of them. "My father and his men are en route to Liria to discuss about what to do with them."

She gulped as she pondered that information in her head. Could he be talking about a council meeting?

"You seem to be interested in faeries," he mumbled in her ear. "Come with me and I'll talk to you more about them in bed."

Then he suddenly slid his hand in between her legs.

Glasses shattered and furnitures were overturned as she shoved the man away so hard, he was thrown halfway across the room and fell flat onto the floor. She was so sure she'd kill him right then and there when Azriel put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her before she could reveal their identity to everyone on the tavern. Her anger simmered down even as the man stood up and faced the Illyrian.

"Fuck off man!" he spat into his face. "She's mine."

Azriel remained stoic as he pulled Zivia away from him. "She's nobody's."

The man's face turned livid and he flexed his muscles readying for combat. "Why don't we settle this in a fight, huh? Come on!" He motioned for Azriel but the shadowsinger remained still, not moving an inch from where he stood.

"Stop this," she cautioned as she stepped in between them.

"What? You choose this wack over someone like me?" he sneered.

A dozen retort sprang into her mind but she held them back. "Careful, you're talking about my brother." She felt both their surprise as the man slowly lowered his fists and looked at her, then to Azriel. Both of them wore the same expression.

Everyone's attention was towards them now, drawn by the scuffle.

"Let's go."

Azriel let her drag him away from the scene they've created but before they could leave, she let his illusion drop just for the man to see what was hidden behind that glamour. She took satisfaction in seeing him stumble back, eyes widening at what he saw. He rubbed his eyes as if it would clear away whatever hallucination he'd had and when he looked back at them, she slammed the door in his face and away they went into the night.

They left the village early morning the next day after piecing together the information they gathered. She also found out that the jackass from the tavern last night was a baron's son.

"Rumor is that the lords of some cities in the continent were to converge to talk about plans after the collapse of the wall."

Zivia glanced at the spymaster beside her. She wondered whether he got that information from the bar lady or from his agents around the continent, though he already told her that his network of spies were also lying low after the war. Either way, they got what they needed.

"Do you think the queens were involved in this?"

"That's what we're going to find out."

The territory of Liria would be weeks of trekking away from where they are so they decided to go to a place where large amounts of trades were exchanged and try to hitch a ride in one of the dealers' carriage. After deeming their surrounding safe enough, they flew through a mountain range that they needed to cross to arrive at the next village, with an illusion cast over them for precaution. As they reached the peak of the mountains, a strong rainstorm impeded their flight and they had to land down to look for temporary shelter.

Completely soaked and shivering, they were able to find a cave carved on the base of one of the stone mountains. They were both dripping wet from the rain and teeth chattering from the cold so Zivia threw a wall of air around the cave entrance to prevent any more wind and rain from entering and possibly freeze them to death. She shook off the water from her hair and wings before sending waves of air to dry their clothes.

It was starting to get dark outside but there was no sign of the storm from stopping any time soon. They're going to have to stay the night here.

The cold didn't budge despite the barrier and there wasn't enough dry wood inside for them to start a fire. She remembered the blankets she stashed inside her magical storage and pulled them out and made makeshift beds for both of them. When the darkness has deepened into their cave, she summoned a ball of light from her palms to illuminate and warm them.

"What do you think Mor is doing now?" she asked as she pulled out the apples that were given to them from her pouch then tossed one to Azriel. It wasn't much but they'll have to do for dinner.

"Probably getting drunk in one of the kingdoms' cellars," he said flatly, taking a bite of his fruit.

Not this topic then.

Silence stretched between them as the wind continued howling outside their little reprieve. She glanced at the shadowsinger who was now partly nestled in his blankets, basking in the warmth of her light. He was in deep thought as he nibbled on the remains of the apple and she wondered whether he was thinking about Mor. She shuffled in her own covers and let the lights dim a little. The rain splattered in a steady beat and it was that sound that finally lulled her to sleep.

In her dream, she was flying, high above the clouds. The setting sun warm against her cheeks – it was a beautiful feeling and she closed her eyes.

But the wind suddenly stopped blowing and then she was falling. She reached out a hand but there was nothing to hold on to.

She was slipping…slipping…and falling into a dark chasm below her.

She jerked awake, panting and drenched in sweat. Azriel was beside her instantly, holding her steady by the shoulders.

"Something's wrong," she gasped, trying to get her breaths even. She felt it. She looked at him as she wrapped her arms around her body and repeated her words to him. "Something's wrong."

"It's the apples," he said with a hint of rage in his voice. "They're laced with faebane."

Her hands trembled as she tried summoning her magic, but there was nothing. It was a complete void inside of her and no matter how much she tried, nothing responded to her calls. Azriel reached for her arm, willing her to look at him.

"Don't worry, it's only temporary." His voice was so soothing it almost made her want to bury her face in his chest and cry just to ease the hollowness she felt inside. She managed to give him a terse nod.

There was never a time when she was without her powers and it scared her to death of the possibility that one day it would happen to her.

It's only temporary, she reminded herself.

She looked back at him and noticed how calmly he was handling this situation. There are worse pains to have. His scars made her remember that.

Finally calming herself with that thought, she pushed off the blankets and went to stand at the mouth of the cave. The rain had stopped and the trees and grass were glistening like diamonds under the morning sun.

"What do we do now?"

"We stay, until the effects wear out and we get our powers back. It would be too dangerous out there to continue our journey."

Huffing a sigh, she muttered, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

She turned around, wringing her hands in front of her. "I shouldn't have taken those apples."

"It's not your fault," Azriel replied. "I noticed that old man was a little bit sketchy. I should've known better."

She frowned. It was not fair that he'd be taking this up as his fault.

"No. I shouldn't have offered them to you."

"I shouldn't have let you eat them."

"Stop it. This was clearly my fault! And you can't tell me otherwise."

Hoping to cement her point, she crossed her arms and gave him a look that dared him to contradict her.

"Fine," he said, throwing his hands up in defense. "It's both our fault." A smile tugged at his lips as he started shaking his head. "I can't believe we're having this argument right now."

She took a deep breath and hoped he didn't notice. It was weird how he could get any more attractive than he already is with just a simple gesture like that.

"You should do that more often."

"Do what?" His brows slightly furrowed but he was still smiling.

"Smile. It suits you."

Color bloomed on his cheeks and he quickly turned to hide it.

By the Cauldron, did she just made him blush?

But apparently, it had the same effect on her as she felt heat rush through her body. She scratched her nose, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

But it's true… an inner voice told her as she settled back into her blankets and waited out the day.

The sky was already turning purplish but there was still no sign of her powers coming back. Not even a speck of it. She was starting to panic, dreadful that it would be gone for good.

It's only temporary…it's only temporary…

She kept repeating those words in her head hoping to ease her building fear.

Azriel was gone too look for food. Needless to say, she started another petty argument about whose going. She insisted that she wasn't that hungry and that they should wait a little longer in hopes that maybe the effects of the faebane would wear out soon enough.

It was a well past the afternoon when her stomach decided to demonstrate a whale's mating call prompting Azriel to finally go despite their powers not returning yet.

She stepped out of the cave and looked far past the trees but found no sign of the shadowsinger. Her hunger has already subsided but she was getting restless. Just as she was about to go back, she noticed a tiny orb of light among the bushes. It danced around the air before wisping away into the woods. She looked back to see if Azriel have returned but when she didn't see him, she went and followed the creature of light.

She arrived at a meadow not far from their cave. It was dark now; the clouds in the sky giving way to the stars and moon, which glowed in a way that painted the grass silver. The orb of light was gone.

Steps sounded behind her and she turned to see the shadowsinger standing a few feet away.

"You almost scared me," she snapped at him.

"Did I now?" he said as he walked towards her. "I came back to find you missing. What are you doing here?"

"Nothing," she replied when he stopped an arm's length away. "I just saw something but then it was gone and –"

She gasped. Behind Azriel, the orb of light suddenly appeared – hundreds of them actually – among the pastures.

"Fire sprites," she breathed as she stepped closer to them.

A breeze of wind blew and she turned to see everything punctuated with thousands of glimmering lights – from the grass on their feet to the leaves up in the trees. They were everywhere, radiating such beautiful red and golden colors that made the forest look enchanted.

She looked back at Azriel. He had his hands open before him, an invitation for the creatures to come to him. A dozen had already gathered on his palms, their light gilding his face in a warm glow as his eyes glinted with puerile fascination.

She couldn't help smiling. "Aren't they beautiful?"

A rogue one twirled around his head before burrowing itself in his hair. Azriel grabbled through his head trying to catch the pesky creature and she stifled a laugh before marching towards him.

"Here, let me help."

As she was reaching her hand, the sprites suddenly scuffled away plunging them into darkness. There were sounds of rustling among the trees and bushes around them. Azriel grabbed her by the arm and pulled her before stopping short. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she noticed shadows among the branches – outlines of men among the shrubs.

They were surrounded.

BONUS: This was my inspiration during that fire sprite scene ♥️♥️

[hungergames-fanfic]

Sleep My Little Dora

To make sure no one steals our horses or carriage daddy pays a local man to keep watch. Cause the stew pot is hot and momma Bilmin carries the basket of bread up the flights of stairs, it's my job to run up before them to open the exit door. Down the hallway, sounds of children crying and faint yelling can be heard through the walls. When we get to the Oxoro's door, I can hear the sounds of gunshots. They're watching television, most likely an illegal film. Movies of any kind aren't allowed unless they’re filmed from home or shown on one of the government approved channels.

Eddy opens the door by just a crack. He peeks out and I'm the first he focuses his eyes on. My cheeks feel warm. Spotting daddy he opens the door wide and steps aside. In here, normally empty, it's full of people who turn away from the television to see who it is. On the sofa sit Mr Oxoro, a woman and another man. On the floor is Vano, outside the window is Omarion talking to someone out of view, i assume it’s Felix. Next to him, with her foot inside is a girl that catches my eye.

At first she looks like a boy. Fluffy short hair sticks out the front of her backwards hat, she wears a big green shirt and black shorts. Her socks too big for her skinny ankles, they fall loosely off her foot.

Mr Oxoro stands up once he sees daddy and helps momma Bilmin with the basket. He welcomes us in the house and introduces us to everyone. When he says my name everyone turns to look at my arm. Including Felix who peeks in. I'm guessing they know about what happened.

"That's my sister Jenae, her husband Otto", Mr Oxoro points, "eldest you've met Vano, that at the window is Jocabeth and", he chuckles, "the little one is Abie". From the small hallway a girl sticks her head out the Oxoro sons room. "You go on Isadora", Mr Oxoro says to me, "boy been excited to see you". This brings out a big smile on my face.

In the room, across from the door, Efrain lays in his bed. He smiles wide and calls me to go closer. "It's okay, Eddy made sure to clean everythin' up and i got my shots", regardless of what he says, I still run and give him the biggest hug. "Oof", he goes and chuckles.

"Efrain!" I yelp, "so much has happened, so much i wanna tell you", I chant happily. He chuckles and looks at my cast. "I bet", he says.

I spill the second I sit on the middle bed, Felix's. I tell Efrain about being so alone during lunch and after school. How I tried to be better friends with Wendy and the other kids we play with when I come over, but none were as fun to be around. I tell him how one day I had an extra piece of bread and spotted Ari sitting all alone. "Ari?", he asks. "Yeah, Arielle", "Arielle!?", Efrain exclaims with his eyes wide. Excitedly I tell him about all the fun that I've had with her. How every day in lunch and after school we spend time together. How at home we always play games or play outside with the animals. I don’t admit we play dolls the most. I laugh when I tell him about getting lost in the shopping center in Littleburg, taking a bath with her and then working in the farm as punishment. I tell him about being in trouble for lying, having to work in the farm as punishment and getting injured riding Milk. I also mention taking Ari home before coming here but I never tell him about the kisses.The one she gave me the other night and the one I gave her this afternoon. Secrets I plan to keep forever.

With a big smile on his face Efrain talks about how glad he is that Ari and me are friends, how excited he is to talk with her when he goes back to school and playing around in my house. I've also decided not to mention how much she doesn't like him.

"Ya'll sound like Vano and Bethy. Girls, girls, girls, i'm tired of it, so can we please finish watchin’ Lizard Sphere A", Abie snaps and rolls her eyes at us. Efrain and I laugh but neither pays attention to the animated show, instead he shows me all the drawings he's drawn while in bed rest.

While he shows me some really cool ones of me and him being space men and Abie choking in the background, I can't help but to stare at him the same way I did to Ari earlier. Last I saw him, Efrain's wasn’t this skinny. He practically resembles Ari, whom he used to be a little bigger-than. He's also a lot more pale and sickly like his momma. His eyes are sunken and his cheekbones stick out. He looks like he's at the verge of death with only a smile keeping him alive.

"Y'all come eat", Jocabeth says at the door. She leans in with a bored look on her face, like nothing is cool enough for her. For a split second, I wish I was her. I stare at my light orange dress, my frilly, itchy socks and white, shiny belted shoes. I pull on a curl that already rests on my hand, how I wish I were as comfortable as her. In the living room, I stare at her nonstop taking in her personality. Everyone laughs at everything she says, eating a piece of cooked lettuce from her soup with her hands, burping as loud as she wants, joking and laughing so care free. If I ever ate with my hands and burped that loud i'd be in trouble. I wish I was funny too.

While we all enjoy momma Bilmin’s cooking, the adults talk amongst themselves, they mention the cost of living and how the president doesn't care about us. This catches my attention.

"Some bloke started a union a few months ago, found'em dead in a ditch and a lot of folk got fired. They ain't waste a second though, next day the factory was full of new workers", Eddy says. He looks irritated and waves his arms with annoyance.

"It's like we brought bad luck or some", Jenae ways touching her forehead. She looks upset.

"Naw auntie, there was rumors 'bout this from the start. I'm just worried 'bout findin' another job", Eddy says thoughtful.

"I'm in need of some hands", daddy speaks up with a shrug, "c'mon Asmel, I've told you this", daddy turns to Mr Oxoro.

The conversation goes on and on until everyone agrees that Eddy and Vano start working for daddy from now on. Apparently Mr Oxoro's sister and family were kicked out of their home from a shark? Now they live here and will be staying until they get the money to move out. Daddy invites Mr Otto to work in our ranch too but he jokes that he's one of the new workers in the meat factory. Mrs Jenae claims she cares for Mrs Oxoro and the kids. In a way, it makes me happy to hear someone is here to care for my best friend.

After dinner we all sit in front of the television. Blowing a bubble with her gum, Jocabeth puts a movie in the VCR. "A classic", Mr Oxoro says hugging his wife who's wheelchair has been rolled right next to him. On her lap sits Efrain snuggling with her arm and next to momma Bilmin, I hold her hand and watch, occasionally turning my gaze out the window. There Felix, Eddy, Omarion, Vano and Jocabeth joke about. I wish I was old enough to hang out with them.

The movie starts off in a dessert, how humanity has decayed and withered except for a couple of people living like ferals. They fight for food and water, some even fight for money. Those wanting to be rich steal from those already poor and hungry, "not far from the truth", Mr Oxoro says. Just as I fully invest myself into the movie my thumb reminds me of all the times I bumped my hand on to something. I try to keep the pain to myself but its not until I can't ignore it that I speak up. Daddy uses this as an excuse to go home, says my pain medication has worn off and he forgot it. Jenae, who's been eyeing daddy all night is the first to hug us goodbye. She bumps into my hand. I'd shriek, drop and die but I don't want the older kids to think i'm a wuss. Instead I hold on to the tears in until we leave the apartment.

On the way home I silently cry so much I fall asleep only to wake up when I feel my hand hit the bed. Daddy's carried me inside, taken off my socks and gives me kiss before he leaves. I don't know for how long I sleep until I'm woken up again.

The lights in my room are turned on, I shut my eyes tight and cover my face with my arm. Someone slaps my hand off my face, forcing me to look at them.

"What is this I hear bout you kissin' girls?", momma snaps at me. "That. Is. Disgusting. You hear me? Where have you seen women kissin' other women?" She raises her voice angrily. Momma Bilmin, woken up, comes out her room and into mines. Momma explains to her how I kissed Ari on the lips just this afternoon. She says it grossed out as if I had stepped on poop and got in bed.

"She ain't hurtin' nobody!", momma Bilmin snaps at momma. Daddy walks in my room too, he stands in between them just as momma Bilmin tries to get in momma’s face. My warm tears quietly roll down my face just like they did on the way home, only now the pain is in my chest. I've never made momma this mad before. She ain't ever yell at me this loud either.

"No, no, no!", momma yells pushing daddy’s arm away and turns to me. "I don't wanna see that little red head in my house ever again, you hear me?" She connects her thumbs with her index fingers, making her point. "I don't wanna see or hear bout you kissin' girls, Dora! When? Where has she seen any of this? Sure as hell not from me!", she screams and walks out the room still scolding me from the hallway. Daddy shoots me a look of worry and goes after momma. The rest of the night I sleep in momma Bilmin's room. She combs my hair with her fingers, sings a lullaby and assures me there's nothing wrong with liking who I like. Still, I cry until I've fallen back asleep with only one thought in mind. Liking girls is not normal, it's gross. Momma said so.

[hysterialevi]

When the Devil Cries pt. 15

This story is also on AO3 

Previous chapter

From Arthur’s POV

ONE MONTH LATER

RYAN RESIDENCE, SAINT DENIS

Eddie and I trotted underneath the calm night sky, steadily making our way back to the pianist’s house as the rest of the city dimmed down with the fading of the sun.

By now, the boy and I had been ridin’ all over this country for the past few weeks -- bounty hunting, moving from town to town, hidin’ from Rose’s men -- and strangely enough...part of me was sad that it was all finally coming to an end, despite the danger we were in.

Spending time with that kid...it made me feel free. Made me feel like I didn’t have a single, goddamned worry in the world. And somethin’ about him just gave me the courage to step outta this angry, spiteful shell I had created. I mean, I was still grumpy...but at least when I was with Eddie, I knew that weren’t all there was to me.

As much as I enjoyed bein’ around the musician though, I figured I had dragged him across the wilds for long enough and that it was time to bring the boy home, now that things had calmed down in Saint Denis.

Neither of us had set foot anywhere near the city ever since that god-awful shootout, and it looked like Dutch had also kept his distance from the “civilized” land, allowing the local law to lower their guard a bit. And on top of that, I didn’t see any sign of Atticus or his men, which meant they had probably given up their search in this part of Lemoyne.

Eddie should’ve been safe for the time being, and I certainly prayed I was right.

Hitching our horses outside the property’s fence, I walked the pianist to the front door as the both of us stretched our arms and neck, stiff from the long ride home.

It had been quite a while since I last saw this house, and the minute I laid eyes upon it, memories started flooding my head like a wave on the shore.

I remembered the first day I met Eddie; when he asked me to come to his house to hear one of his compositions. Life seemed so much simpler back then, and part o’ me still couldn’t believe how much we had been through since those days.

Dealin’ with Middleton, surviving Rose’s assassins, hunting the Arlington Twins and Archibald Hill -- Eddie and I truly were almost unstoppable when working together. I mean, sure, the kid might not’ve been as good a gunslinger as Dutch, or Hosea, or even me...but he sure as hell had learned a lot since our first encounter. And I...I was proud of him. Extremely proud.

“Welp, here we are,” I said, gently holding Eddie’s hand as we walked through the front door. “Home sweet home.”

The pianist let out a content sigh and took his hat off, placing it on a nearby end table as he settled in.

“Never thought I’d say it, but...I missed Saint Denis. It’ll be nice to sleep in an actual bed again. I’m exhausted.”

I laughed at that. “I bet.”

Eddie gazed at me and beamed brightly, bringing out the soft-hearted side of him I had grown so familiar with.

“Thank you for all your help these past few weeks, Arthur. You didn’t have to stay and help me survive out there...but you did. I won’t forget it.”

I shrugged, holding up a casual hand. “Ah, don’t mention it. Least I could do. ...You, um...you gonna be okay by yourself? I mean, I know things have calmed down here, but still, you never know.”

The boy slipped off his coat and threw it over a couch. “I should be alright. You’ve shown me how to defend myself, after all. And if anything does happen, I promise you’ll be the first one to know.”

“Good,” I said. “Just...stay alert, okay? And be well.”

“The same goes for you,” Eddie replied. “I can’t imagine running with a gang is anywhere near secure. So, stay safe.”

I let out a quiet chuckle. “Ain’t no such thing as safe out there, but I’ll do my best.”

A doubtful thought suddenly popped up in my mind, and I gazed at  Eddie for a moment before workin’ up the courage to ask him about it.

“...You...sure you’re okay with me bein’ an outlaw?” I checked. He crossed his arms.

“Well...I wouldn’t say I’m okay with it,” he admitted. “But if you’ve been an outlaw for this long, I assume it’s because you have no choice.”

I nodded somberly. “And you’d be correct. For now, anyway. I ain’t really got any other options at the moment.”

The boy didn’t seem bothered. “Well then, you do what you have to do.”

I was quiet in response, leading Eddie to cock his head at me as he effortlessly pulled out any secrets I was hidin’ behind my stone-cold expression.

“...You don’t believe me.” He concluded.

I threw a limp hand in the air, patting my lap once it fell back down.

“There you go again. Readin’ me like a goddamned book.”

Eddie giggled and took a few steps forward, affectionately rubbing the side of my arm.

“You should know it’s pointless to keep things from me by now, Arthur. What’s on your mind?”

A conflicted sigh escaped me.

“It’s just...” I glanced around the house in uncertainty, “...you ain’t the first person I been with, Eddie. Ain’t the first person to learn about all...this. See... there was this girl a long time ago that I loved. Her name was Mary. I met her when I was young and stupid -- I’m still stupid now, mind you -- but she played me for a fiddle like no one else alive. We was even engaged at one point.”

Eddie glanced at my ringless finger, a look of sorrow spreading across his face.

“Was?”

I clenched my jaw, trying not to open up too much.

“...Her daddy found out I was an outlaw,” I explained. “Learned about the kinda life I had. About what I did...and he hated it. Hated me even more. Eventually, we...called off the engagement, and Mary went off and settled down with some other man.”

The boy frowned out of sympathy. “I mean...I’m glad you’re with me now, but I’m also sorry you had to go through that.”

I shook it off. “Nah, don’t be. Like I said -- it was a long time ago. I guess...I’m just surprised you didn’t take off like she did when you found out I was workin’ with Dutch goddamn Van der Linde. That’s usually the response I get.”

Eddie almost looked insulted. “What-- you really thought I was just going to...abandon you? Because of that?”

“Wouldn’t blame you.”

The pianist grabbed my hand, holding it in a reassuring manner.

“Arthur...I may not approve of what you do, or the way you’ve hurt people, but you are a good man. In your own, twisted way. In fact, you’re the last person I’d want to leave behind, and you’re fooling yourself if you think I ever will.”

I fell silent, admittedly a bit surprised at the response. I was expectin’ Eddie to be at least a little dubious about our relationship, considering I was a wanted man in more states than I could count, but the man seemed adamant in his decision to stay with me. And I loved him even more for it.

I lightened my tone slightly and gripped Eddie’s hand in return, saying a final goodbye to him before taking my leave.

“...Thank you, Eddie,” I said, my voice just above a whisper. “I still doubt I’m a good man like you claim, but...I must’ve done somethin’ right to end up with you. Well, anyway, I’ll let you get some sleep. I know you’re tired, and you got a lot to attend to. Just be careful, okay? And come to me if you ever need anything.”

The boy’s smile came back. “I will. But you have to take care of yourself, too.” He pecked a tender kiss on my lips. “Goodnight, Arthur. I hope our paths cross again soon. I’d love to explore the wilds with you sometime.”

I chuckled, heading towards the front door. “You just can’t get enough of the country, can you?”

He shook his head and stayed in the doorway, waving a friendly goodbye as I stepped back out into the cool, dark night.

“Nope. And thanks to you, I probably never will.”

A WHILE LATER

KAMASSA RIVER

Relaxing by the river with my horse, I made no haste to get back to camp as the moon slowly sank its way under the thin clouds, casting a pale but somehow pretty light across the fields surrounding me.

There were only a few hours left until morning, and if I timed this right, I was hopin’ to get back to Shady Belle somewhere close to dawn. I didn’t wanna go galloping into camp in the middle of the night, but I also didn’t wanna deal with the gang when everybody was awake.

For some reason, the people there always seemed to end up roamin’ towards me one way or another, and the last thing I wanted was to be greeted with Swanson’s drunken ramblings, or one of Micah’s attempts at being “friendly.”

I honestly liked Micah even less when he was nice.

Dipping my hand into the river, I cupped some cool water in my palm and washed the grime off my face, suddenly feelin’ much more refreshed at the sensation.

It had been a long time since I was last in the wilderness all by myself, and as much as I missed Eddie’s company already, I couldn’t deny that I appreciated the solitude. Somethin’ about being alone with no one else but my horse just gave me peace of mind, and the longer I lingered here, the less I wanted to return to camp.

Though, I had to confess: I did miss Dutch and Hosea a little. Even if we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. They were like fathers to me, after all. Despite how much we argued sometimes.

Sure, Dutch had been actin’ a bit crazy recently, and things only seemed to be getting worse between him and Hosea...but in the end, we was family. We was a team. There was a strange, deformed love holdin’ us reprobates together, and I just hoped that our escape from the Pinkertons and civilization wouldn’t tear that apart.

I supposed only time would tell.

Standing up from the ground, I wiped the water off my hands and prepared to mount up, only to freeze mid-action when the sound of someone cocking a gun reached my ears.

A familiar, raspy voice greeted me from behind, sending chills down my spine.

“Fancy meetin’ you here, Arthur Morgan,” they growled. “Wanna take a midnight stroll with me?”

Raising my hands in the air, I moved at the speed of a sloth and hesitantly glanced over my shoulder, peering at the face behind the gun as my heart came to a halt.

“...Colm O’Driscoll?” I muttered. “The hell you doin’ out here?”

Before he could respond, my horse started to whinny nervously as a second pair of footsteps emerged from the shadows, their shoes crunching the grass underneath them as a man whom I’d never seen before came into view.

I flicked my eyes to the side, absolutely perplexed by this new face.

This son-of-a-bitch had to be one of the craziest lookin’ fellers I’d ever seen in my life...and that was sayin’ something.

This man had skin so pale to the point where he looked sickly, and it only made the balding red hair on his head stand out even more. He had clearly made some sad attempt to slick it back and tidy it up, but regardless, multiple strands refused to stay in place and stuck out in wild angles, adding to his insane temperament.

Despite his messy hair however, the man actually had quite a groomed beard and wore a black, three-piece suit along with a golden chain hangin’ off the vest...but his clothes didn’t match any of the O’Driscolls I’d seen.

The part about him that really caught my attention though, was the old wound on his face. There was a ghastly scar tearin’ straight through his right eye, forcing it closed and rendering the poor bastard half-blind. Meanwhile, the other one was surrounded by dark circles and crow’s feet, enhancing the nightmarish grin he sported as he examined me.

Just who the hell was this maniac?

“Sorry, partner,” he apologized insincerely, sounding lazy but surprisingly articulate. “I hate to bring weapons to a...civilized discussion, but I hear you aren’t the type to cooperate.”

I scoffed, holding my ground. “Most people aren’t when you aim a gun at their head.”

He chuckled. “True enough. But if you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep those guns up...just as a precaution.”

“And who are you?” I asked, my eyes following his every move. “You an O’Driscoll?”

The man shook his head. “Nah...not an O’Driscoll. Though, truth be told, my name don’t matter much, anyway. Usually, it’s the scars people remember me by.”

I gestured to the faded gash. “How’d you get ‘em?”

He paused for a second, seemingly puzzled by my question as he tilted his head in confusion.

After a moment of thinking though, the man let out an abrupt laugh once it clicked and grinned even wider in realization.

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about my scars...” he corrected, pointing a finger at me. 

His expression sparked with a wicked excitement.

“...I was talking about yours.”

Giving me no time to react, Colm suddenly bashed the grip of his revolver into the back of my head and knocked me out cold, causin’ the world around me to go dark as a hoarse chortle escaped him and my vision doubled.

There was no one around to help me right now, and before I could do anything to fight back, I could already feel the roughness of a rope wrapping itself around my wrists and ankles.

Shit. What the hell had I gotten myself into now?

The two bastards lifted me onto another horse, mounting up as they carried me away to wherever they pleased.

“...You’re ours now, Morgan,” Colm whispered in my ear, his voice echoing in my head as he watched me slip out of consciousness. “And ain’t no one savin’ you this time...”

From Eddie’s POV

THE NEXT MORNING

Pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee, I took the warm mug into my hands and sat down in the living room, quietly reading the newspaper as I prepared for the day ahead.

I couldn’t lie. It felt strange not waking up on the ground with Bullet drooling above me, and it felt even stranger to not have Arthur by my side.

I had spent so long traveling with that mysterious man by now that, I actually considered it a privilege to sleep in the same place I woke up in. And I had only been doing this for a month or so. I couldn’t imagine how he felt.

Still, it was nice to be back in the heart of civilization again, despite all the bad memories stalking me here. I doubted I’d be able to revive my career as a performer at the Râleur again, considering how erratic my schedule had become, but there had to be some work for me around town.

I recalled the bartender at the Bastille saying they needed a new pianist, and with my newfound “gunslinging” skills, perhaps there was a chance I could also hunt down a bounty on my own. Though, I had to admit, that wasn’t my first option. I wasn’t nearly as experienced as Arthur, and I didn’t want to get myself killed chasing after a handful of money.

I guessed the Bastille would have to do for now.

Finishing my coffee, I put the mug down and wandered over to the coat rack, preparing to leave. If there was an opportunity for me to get a new job, I wanted to seize it as soon as possible. There were only so many outlaws I could chase if I needed extra money, and as much as I enjoyed the spontaneous nature of the wilderness, I couldn’t deny that stability offered much more comfort. And at the moment, that was what I needed.

Swinging the front door open, I headed out into the crisp morning weather as Bullet greeted me with a welcoming neigh, his tone oddly a tad more agitated than usual. I supposed I wasn’t the only one struggling to adjust to city life.

Just as I began to descend the porch’s steps however, I was presented with a peculiar scene and noticed a lone hat sitting on the ground...just waiting for me to find it.

The hat looked like someone had intentionally positioned it there, and the longer I stared at it, the more my blood turned to ice as I realized who it belonged to.

...Arthur.

Gulping out of fear, I cautiously knelt down and picked up the item, revealing a torn note lying underneath. It didn’t resemble Arthur’s handwriting -- at least, compared to what I saw on his portrait of me -- and there was an unnerving set of initials scribbled at the bottom. No immediate names jumped to mind at the sight of them, but something about the way they were written, and the distant bells they rang in my head just...made me feel uneasy.

I brought the note into my grasp, reading the short message that had been inked onto the surface:

“Come to Caliban’s Seat within twenty-four hours, or next time, I’ll be delivering his head. Hope to see you there, Theodore. -RK”

I froze out of terror, unable to stop myself from shivering like a puppy in the rain as my heart stopped beating altogether.

The only people who called me Theodore were the ones trying to kill me. And the only person I could think of who had those initials...was Rodrick Kingsley. One of Atticus Rose’s most valued gang members.

Despite being nothing but a group of sick, rotten degenerates, Atticus and his men were the equivalent of a dysfunctional family that, for some reason, just couldn’t rip itself apart. They always had each other’s backs and yet, they were also one argument away from stabbing them.

I had seen how much faith Atticus put into his gang...and I had seen just how close they really were.

If Rodrick was here, that meant Atticus was with him.

And they were going to kill Arthur.

[eddycurrents]

BPRD: Garden of Souls - Chapter Four

Story: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi | Art: Guy Davis | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in BPRD: Garden of Souls #4 | June 2007

Collected in BPRD - Volume 7: Garden of Souls | BPRD: Plague of Frogs - Volume 3

Plot Summary:

Abe listens to the mummy, Panya’s, story and discovers the true plans of his old friends from the Oannes Society. Meanwhile, Daimio works to find Abe and defuse a system of bombs.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issue or collections.)

pg. 1 - It seems like everyone is just incapable of being direct about anything.

pg. 2 - So we get a name and a rebirth, but not an actual origin story for our mummy friend.

pg. 3 - I love the design for these flashbacks. Not just the sepia-toned effect from Dave Stewart’s colours, but also the fact that Guy Davis isn’t using borders, instead leaving it to the gutter. It’s a nice design element that really makes this sequence stand apart from the rest of the story.

pg. 4 - There’s the possibility of Liz’s vague guy again at the top. And another reference to the Heliopic Brotherhood.

pg. 5-7 - Interesting story of Panya’s escape and arrival at the Indonesian islands.

pg. 8 - Kind of makes you wonder why the Oannes Society are keeping her a prisoner. Other than thinking she’s some kind of goddess.

pg. 9 - Naunet was one of the original Egyptian pantheon goddesses, representing the primordial abyss.

pg. 11 - Panya communicating through the creepy big-eyed girl is creepy.

pg. 12 - The bodies are weird.

pg. 13 - It’s funny what the remaining members of the Oannes Society have convinced themselves about what they’re doing. Is it really too much to have a group of people who want to save humanity without dooming much of it or going about it in a deadly way?

pg. 14 - I mean, they all seem to want to kill a large portion of the populace in order to “save” them. Have they never considered that they’re plan is bonkers?

pg. 16 - Also, the giant nude spiritual reservoirs are creepy.

pg. 17 - If the Oannes Society members’ stories are true, Langdon Caul seems like he may have been a bit of a jerk too.

pg. 19 - It’s nice to see Abe renounce the insane plan that his “old friends” have and choose instead to attempt to stop them. It’s much more in line with the Abe we’ve known since Seed of Destruction.

pg. 21 - Love the narrative split between creepy big-eyed girl possessed by Panya explaining what’s going on with the bombs vs. Edward trying to get information out of her back at the mansion, and thereby interrupting the connection.

pg. 22 - Weirdest looking wrecking crew ever. Love the designs for these hybrids.

pg. 24 - Poor Abe, getting jobbed out for a cliffhanger.

Final Thoughts:

After the slow build in the first three chapters, this is a veritable tsunami of action and exposition revealing what’s been going on all along. It’s an interesting blend of Abe’s history and the growing Hellboy-related theme of a secret society (Nazi or otherwise) working to immanentize the eschaton.

d. emerson eddy wonders if we immanentize the eschaton he can finally get some sleep.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1284

Monday, October 21, 2019

 Please take time to cast your vote in the Canadian Federal Election today if you haven't already. Our democracy depends on its citizens voting. If you wake up tomorrow and your side lost then I sincerely hope that we as a country can continue living our daily lives with respect and compassion. Things will change. Better for some and not for others. Let's all try to remember what it is to be Canadian eh.

 Is This How You See Me? - Jaime Hernandez (writer & artist). It's been years since I've looked in on Maggie and Hopey so this new graphic novel chronicling their adventures at a punk music reunion in Huerta was a perfect way for me to catch up on their lives. The girls have always had a complicated relationship and things haven't changed too much now that Esperanza/Hopey is married to another woman with a son and Maggie is in a long term relationship with a man. I loved the flashbacks to their younger days and unlike Dan De Carlo's Betty and Veronica, these women have aged and Jaime shows that beautifully. Love & Rockets fans must buy this graphic novel.

 Archie #708 - Nick Spencer & Mariko Tamaki (writers) Sandy Jarrell (artist) Matt Herms (colours) Jack Morelli (letters). Lots of mysterious things going on in this issue as Archie and Sabrina's picnic in the woods is interrupted while Jughead and Reggie's investigation into Reggie's father's disappearance receives a major clue. These modern Archie comics are so much more interesting than the old school stuff.

 Guardians of the Galaxy #10 - Donny Cates (writer) Cory Smith (pencils) Victor Olazaba (inks) David Curiel (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). The reunion with an ex-Guardian doesn't go well but not to worry folks, Groot and his pals come to the rescue. I like the new Magus reborn. Oh, and the cover is a total fib.

 Absolute Carnage #4 - Donny Cates (writer) Ryan Stegman (pencils) JP Mayer, Jay Leisten & Ryan Stegman (inks) Frank Martin (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). All seems lost when Carnage absorbs the Venom symbiote from a defeated Hulk but hold your horses folks, Eddie Brock will save the day. It's a major change for this character so you won't want to miss it.

 Metal Men #1 - Dan Didio (writer) Shane Davis (pencils) Michelle Delecki (inks) Jason Wright (colours) Travis Lanham (letters). Unlike the recently released Inferior Five we actually have the Metal Men in this debut issue. I'm glad I gave Dan Didio a chance because he impressed me with this story. The discovery of a sentient Nth metal might be similar to Marvel's Venom symbiote but I'm hoping the rest of this 12-issue maxi doesn't devolve into Will Magnus's Metal Men fighting this new entity.

 Superman Year One #3 - Frank Miller (writer) John Romita Jr. (pencils) Danny Miki (inks) Alex Sinclair (colours) John Workman (letters). Great Caesar's ghost that was a slog. I actually fell asleep partway through this. This 3-issue mini did not deserve the prestige DC Back Label imprint treatment. The writing was hackneyed and the art was unspectacular. I got tired of the clipped, repetitive captions after only a few pages because they ran on and on. And even though this is some of John Romita Jr.'s best work there was nothing special about it. These stories of Superman's early adventures could've been done in a 6-issue $3.99 US monthly and fans would have been happy. The big blue boy scout is not a good fit for Frank Miller. The style of writing he used in this last issue is more suited to someone like Green Arrow or the Question. If he follows through with another Superman story like he teased on the last page I would think twice before spending the time to read it.

 X-Men #1 - Jonathan Hickman (writer) Leinil Francis Yu (pencils) Gerry Alanguilan (inks) Sunny Gho (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). This is the first new X-Team book to hit the racks following the twelve issues of House and Powers of X that laid the foundation for Marvel's mutant revamp. It introduces the good guys (the mutants) and the bad guys (human scientists hell bent on eradicating mutants). The team rescues young mutants from the bad guys and safely return to Krakoa leaving behind a lot of dead humans. Yes, no more mister nice mutant. The team consists of Cyclops, Storm, Polaris, Magneto, Dr. Reyes, Jean Grey, Havok, Vulcan, Wolverine, Cable and Prestige (I know her as Rachel Summers). Only Scott, Ororo, Erik and Lorna go on the mission so no crazy Canucklehead antics this issue, sigh. I liked this enough to want to keep reading but not enough to add it to my "must read" list.

 Killswitch #1 - Jeffrey & Susan Bridges (writers) Walter Geovani (art) Brittany Peer (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). This sci-fi comic book is about a future where a small minority of people can see the future. They're called Augers. The rest of humanity fears them and have them rounded up in detention centres. Sounds familiar. The main character is Major Marcella Regula who turned in her own brother as an Auger. She's the new head of security at a detention centre in a domed city built on a comet. She hits the killswitch to try and save an Auger from dying but fails. Then she helps the dead man's friends to escape. I picked this up because I really liked the art but the story didn't spark joy. I'm hitting the killswitch on this one.

 The Marked #1 - David Hine (writer) Brian Haberlin (art) Geirrod Van Dyke (colours) Francis Takenaga (letters). This new book is full of magic and the art is stupendous. An ancient order of tattooed magic users tasked with fighting the forces of chaos have found a new recruit. So has a malevolent government agency after one of the Marked is banished. I cared about Saskia and her new friends by the end of this issue so I want to find out what happens to them. I'm going to read this as long as I can.

 The Batman's Grave #1 - Warren Ellis (writer) Bryan Hitch (pencils) Kevin Nowlan (inks) Alex Sinclair (colours) Richard Starkings (letters). The opening pages did not surprise me because I know someone who has their tombstone already in place. Batman investigates when a dead body is found in a tenement building. The victim had a wall full of Batman clippings and this 12-issue maxi is off and running. I love the detective side of Batman so I'm adding this to my "must read" list.

 Spider-Man #2 - J. J. Abrams & Henry Abrams (writers) Sara Pichelli (art) Elisabetta D'Amico (inking assistant) Dave Stewart (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Two issues in and Ben has met his MJ. Her name is Faye Ito and she's a pip. So much for the old secret identity. Also cue the super villain menace appearance. You won't hear me complaining that there are too many Spider-Man books on the racks as long as they're this good.

 Inferior 5 #2 - Jeff Lemire (writer) Keith Giffen (plot & pencils) Michelle Delecki (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). That's enough for me. This is just too weird. If you're into weirdness, you will certainly like this.

 Something is Killing the Children #2 - James Tynion IV (writer) Werther Dell'Edera (art) Miquel Muerto (colours) AndWorld Design (letters). I like Erica Slaughter, monster hunter. She gives this horror story a lot of spunk.

 Contagion #3 - Ed Brisson (writer) Mack Chater & Stephen Segovia (art) Veronica Gandini & Andrew Crossley (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I'll give Ed Brisson this, he sure knows how to string a Marvel maniac along. Jessica Jones was the one to entice me to read this issue and the heroes that show up to help fight the fungus next issue makes me want to read that too. And that's not to mention the Wrecking Crew either.

 Once & Future #3 - Kieron Gillen (writer) Dan Mora (art) Tamra Bonvillain (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). Evil King Arthur gets his Galahad while Duncan and his granny get help from a historian. I like granny's simple solution for keeping the bad guys from winning.

 Batman #81 - Tom King (writer) John Romita Jr. & Mitch Gerads (pencils) Klaus Janson & Mitch Gerads (inks) Tomeu Morey & Mitch Gerads (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). We're getting there folks. Bear with us. That Thomas Wayne is one tough Batman. He takes on Batwoman, Batgirl, Orphan, Huntress, Red Robin, Robin and Signal and manages to survive. Damn that no killing rule. Meanwhile, Batman and Catwoman get into Arkham Asylum to get to Bane. I liked how all the stuff leading up to this issue is explained even though it was hard to follow.