#also related to this post. why did he cut his hand and throw his blood on locus in the s13 fight. wash literally fought the meta who used | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sundiscus · 3 years ago

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wangxian dragon age au: ficlet

[part of a larger au i’ve mapped out + started drafting, but want to post as snippets for now! i’ve taken many liberties with the worldbuilding, and as such i think most can be inferred with context if you’re unfamiliar with dragon age.

part one now here

this snippet: the meet-ugly, ~1.7k]

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When Lan Wangji wakes up, he isn’t alone.

He doesn’t realize it right away. The first thing he notices is that, this time, there are no shackles. He shifts his hands the slightest bit, enough to confirm they are indeed free. The movement pulls at the little cuts on his fingers and forearms from where the shackles shattered apart, already scabbing over—so he has been unconscious long enough for the magebane to burn out of his system, which he confirms, finding his meridians free and clear. He’s lying on his back, something that feels slightly too soft to be a stone floor under him and something that feels slightly too rough to be a blanket draped over him. An odd green light pulses against his eyelids and the only sound is a muted, continuous hiss, like a distant waterfall. Wherever he is, it isn’t the cell from earlier.

It doesn’t matter. He won’t be here long.

He takes one more slow breath, listening closely. There. To his left, a few paces away, he hears a tiny, cut-off inhale. Now he knows where to aim. His eyes fly open as he launches himself upright, summoning his sword into his raised hand, and—

It’s like expecting the ocean and finding only a puddle. His sword flickers into existence for the barest moment, its glow illuminating a circle of stone walls, a pallet beneath him, and then Lan Wangji’s lungs stutter, pressure squeezing his temples, as if all air has been sucked out of the room. Bichen dissipates and Lan Wangji is left gasping, one hand still raised uselessly in the air.

From the shadows, someone says: “Ah, that’s not going to work.”

Lan Wangji is already looking to the side. He sees only a figure at first, because when his sword disappeared so had the strange, omnipresent green glow. The glow returns now, slowly illuminating a young man curled against the opposite wall, his hair a dark, tangled wave over his shoulders, wrists chained together with thick iron manacles. For a moment his eyes, staring right back at Lan Wangji, are the brightest thing in the room.

“What do you mean?” Lan Wangji demands, finding his voice. “Is there a suppression array?” It must be powerful to choke off his magic so finitely. If he can see it, though, he can figure out how to undo it.

The man wrinkles his nose. “Not exactly. But—ah, ah,” he says as Lan Wangji starts to stand, “don’t move too fast, the blowback from that is going to be pretty harsh.”

Lan Wangji understands almost instantly as a wave of vertigo hits him. His knees buckle before he’s halfway to his feet and he collapses back on the pallet, bracing his weight on his elbow to keep from falling entirely. When his ears stop ringing he can hear his own ragged breathing.

Enough, he thinks, and forces himself to even his breaths. To shift focus. Clearly whatever precautions Wen Chao and his soldiers have taken to secure this room go beyond magebane and a simple suppression array. He won’t be able to escape by sheer force like last time, but this will still be no more than a brief detour on his journey. He will make sure of it.

Yesterday—was it yesterday, now? The chamber has no windows, just the eerie green glow emanating from the walls—Lan Wangji had been traveling with a retinue of junior enchanters to retrieve research texts from the Circle in Hedong, where scholars claimed to have promising studies related to fade rifts. They were nearly there when a raven alighted on Lan Wangji’s shoulder, bearing the message: Siege on Gusu Circle. Reconvene to the north. He’d sent the junior enchanters ahead and turned back before the raven even took flight.

(The note had not mentioned his brother, so his brother must be alive. Rumors were already spreading outward from Gusu as he rode, saying Wen Xu had an archdemon, Wen Xu burned the Gusu library to the ground. They did not say Wen Xu killed Zewu-jun, Wen Xu killed a mage with a glowing hand. So his brother must have escaped. Knowing this did not stop Lan Wangji’s heart from racing as he spurred his horse faster, past refugee settlements and Templar camps, toward the distant gash in the sky.)

And then: a poisoned arrow biting into his arm, his horse crumpling on a hardpacked road outside Lingchuan. The Wen soldiers, ready for him. (Not ready enough, when at least six of their bodies fell before Lan Wangji did.) One day in the first cell, his failed escape attempt.

And now: magicless, trapped in a strange room with a strange, sharp-eyed prisoner watching him struggle to sit upright, the slow crawl of time a physical weight on Lan Wangji’s shoulders.

“Honestly, just ride it out,” the prisoner is saying. He has his chained hands up and open, like he’s trying to calm a spooked animal. “You’ll feel better in about an hour. Maybe less, if you’ve had a good meal recently.”

Lan Wangji’s head spins sickeningly. He ignores it, pushing himself up until he can prop himself against the wall, putting himself eye-level with the prisoner, at least.

“Or sit up anyway, I suppose,” the prisoner says. His voice has a ragged edge, as if it’s scraping its way out of his throat. “Sorry, I’d offer you some water, but I drank it all before I knew I’d have company. What are you doing here, anyway?”

If First Enchanter Lan wants his nephew back, he’ll have to lend us a few books, Wen Chao had mocked from outside the first cell. And if he wants you back with all your limbs attached, he’ll have to throw in trading deeds with the eastern lyrium mines for good measure. Do you think he can deliver that before you die here?

Wen Chao wanted demonic texts, Lan Wangji had guessed, the ones hidden deep within the library. No doubt for some dangerous, power-hungry scheme, and no doubt connected to the rifts. From there, it wasn’t hard to piece together that the attack on the Circle was meant to discover which texts were critical enough to be rescued and transported away, and likely steal them in transit. There are protocols for such events, Lan Wangji knows, and his presence here means the raid was unsuccessful, and he will be used as leverage for a second attempt.

If Wen Chao meant to scare Lan Wangji with his demands, he had only succeeded in doing the opposite. Because if all they want from Lan Wangji’s family are books and deeds, it means they don’t know about his brother yet.

Lan Wangji doesn’t share any of this. “Political prisoner,” is all he says.

“Ahh.” The man nods. “I figured, what with the…” He gestures at his own forehead, chains clinking as he does. “You’re obviously a Lan. Someone will pay well to have you back home.”

“They should not have to pay at all,” Lan Wangji bites out. Something about the prisoner’s casual attitude grates at him. The world outside is quite literally falling apart at the seams, and Lan Wangji doesn’t have time to be used as bait in Wen Chao’s small-minded games.

The prisoner shrugs. “Yeah, but there’s not much choice at the moment, is there? For now you’re stuck here with me. I’m—my name is Wei Ying, by the way. What should I call you, while we wait?”

“Do the Wen soldiers enter this cell often?” Lan Wangji says instead of answering. “Is there a chance of overpowering them?”

A grimace. “Often enough. And no, I’ve tried. They’re stupid, but they’re prepared.”

Lan Wangji casts another glance over the man—Wei Ying—and carefully keeps any skepticism out of his expression. Then he looks around properly for the first time. Wei Ying is right—there’s no visible array on the floor, no glyphs on the circular stone walls. The green glow fades as it climbs the wall, leaving the ceiling cloaked in shadow and dizzying to look at, like an endless tunnel. Disturbingly, there isn’t a visible door, either. There isn’t much of anything but the one straw pallet, a lidded pot against the wall, an empty bowl next to Wei Ying, bone-dry, and Wei Ying himself.

“A Lan,” Wei Ying says when Lan Wangji is silent for long enough, pitched low, almost like he’s talking to himself. “I’m surprised Wen Chao would be so bold. He has to know that won’t go over well in the long run, I wonder if his father has any idea? No, he would’ve sent Wen Xu. Maybe Wen Chao thinks that by the time someone comes for you, he’ll have—” Wei Ying cuts himself off. Blinks. “You are real, aren’t you?”

Lan Wangji narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you’re not…” Wei Ying waves a hand at the room around them. “But, ah, why would I dream up a whole Knight-Enchanter? A Lan at that? You felt real enough, when I dragged you onto the pallet, but it’s still hard to tell.” Lan Wangji must have some reaction to that—to knowing this stranger’s hands have been on him, when he was unconscious—because Wei Ying adds, defensive: “What was I supposed to do? They left you on the floor.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t have an answer to that.

Wei Ying tips his head back against the wall. “Well. Your Circle, they have your phylactery, right? They’ll find you. Pay the ransom, or lay siege to Wen Chao’s little fortress here. That would be nice.” He casts his gaze over Lan Wangji again. “Looks like our captors were gentle enough in the meanwhile.”

There’s dried blood tugging at the hair of Lan Wangji’s temple, and he still has the nauseating sense that if he moves too fast he might collapse again. Gentle isn’t how Lan Wangji would describe his treatment so far. But it is also far below the threshold of what he can withstand, so it doesn’t seem like a point worth arguing. “And you?” he hears himself say.

“Uh.” Wei Ying shifts and holds up his shackled hands. “Less gentle, I suppose.”

“I meant—who will be paying your ransom.”

Wei Ying drops his hands into his lap. “Oh. No one.”

“Then,” Lan Wangji says, “why are you here?”

For the first time, Wei Ying flashes a smile. A hooked dagger in the dim light.

“I have something they want.”

#poor herald lxc 😔#this au is going to be equal parts h/c + dreamsharing + Dragons #because i am nothing if not predictable #this started months and months ago as a secret santa gift for eli #eli ilu!#wangxian #ficlet #my words #DA AU

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fabdante · 3 years ago

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Ok, last one. The Kat and Artemisia post. Incase you missed them, this is part of a trio of posts on Baroque art and the DmC reboot trio and a separate post on the DmC reboot and the Baroque as an art movement.

The other posts if you want to check them out: Dante and Caravaggio, Vergil and Benini, DmC and the Baroque

Today for the final installment in this little mini series, we’ll be discussing the artist who won the Baroque, Artemisia Gentileschi, and her painting Judith Slaying Holofernes, featured below.

Analysis of this painting, why it’s such a bop, Kat, and the devil may cry reboot below the cut!

Content Warning: discussion of abuse as it relates to Kat.

I guess we start with the beginning and the beginning is who Judith is.

Judith is a biblical character. Upon impending invasion, she is unsatisfied with the response of her people and decides to infiltrate the enemy camp with her maid, intent to stop the enemy army. After gaining the trust of the people there, she eventually seduces general Holofernes and is invited to his tent. Then she beheads him with what I am left to assume is his sword. I suppose given the painting that part’s a little spoiled.

A lot of paintings focus on the beheading or Judith posing with the decapitated head in victory. But a lot of them don’t have the impact of Artemisias, as seen above.

Judith, as painted by Artemisia, is full of rage. She is not serene or delicate. She is not posing or unsure. She is angry, certain, and out for blood. Everything in her expression and her movements is full of force and intent. It’s the little details like his hair between her knuckles from where she’s gripping it and the forceful twist of her wrist on his sword that she’s taken. To her rolled sleeves in her incredibly fancy dress. And it’s not afraid to be gory to. Perhaps this is tame by modern standards of blood and gore but for the time it’s very bloody and violent. Supposedly the violence was too much for the first owner who kept it hidden for some time (allegedly). I think it’s important that while the focus is Judith doing the act, her maid is not passive in the violence. She’s holding him down with just as much force as Judith. And unwavering to, despite how we can see how Holofernes was trying to throw her off before he died, his hands still limply in the air. The maids full of as much determination as Judith is. Judith’s dressed up for this to, in a fine gown with her hair done up. This is likely part of the ruse Judith set up before she got Holofernes alone, but I like the detail none the less. That she’s dressed up for this murder.

The key to why this painting fits Kat so much to me is how it is not only full of anger and femininity and violence but how in Artemisias hands, the image feels like a bloody catharsis. There’s something personal in Judith's glare, in her rage. Something kind of interesting to in how she’s forced Holofernes to look away from her, like he hasn’t earned the right to see her victory even if by this point he is surely dead (I mean, the sword is nearly through his neck). Or like she doesn’t want to look at him at all, like he’s not worth looking at.

Likewise, for Kat, hunting demons is personal. The Order is personal. Why she’s here doing this is personal.

It’s personal because Kat killed her abusive foster father. I don’t think how impressive this is truly gets conveyed. It’s almost a throw away statement. It’s just that one line, ‘I killed the bastard’, and that’s that. Like it was easy or something. In the reboot universe, though, she’s not even in the same dimension as her foster father. We don’t get a lot of information about how much a demons human form impacts their demon form. We are told Mundus is fused to his human form, but we’re also told this is because he’s been in it so long and also there’s the matter of his relationship to the hell gate. We’re not even told how long he’s been in this form. Has it been years, decades, centuries? How long is so long that it led to this fusion? So, I don’t think we can base the average demon to this. As far as we know in canon, it’s Kat against a being in another dimension. A dimension she cannot engage with physically and to which he can escape to at any time.

And yet she kills him anyway.

She is the only human we know of in canon who’s done this, to. To be fair, she is the only human mentioned at all in the reboot canon but by how Dante positions himself as human savior and by how certain Vergil seems to be that humans cannot take care of themselves, this must be rare.

I cannot express enough how important it is that Kat is the one who kills him to. It’s not Vergil. She doesn’t say it was Vergil. It’s also not her and Vergil, she doesn’t say that either, she doesn’t say ‘we killed the bastard’. Kat says explicitly that she killed him, ‘I killed the bastard’. It’s Kats kill. No matter how much Vergil helped her, she did it. She killed her abuser despite the odds against her.

I can’t imagine the sort of catharsis Kat must have felt in that moment. We don’t know how she killed him, she never says. The greatest crime of the comics, in my opinion, are how they take this kill away from Kat and give it to Vergil instead. Which means no further elaboration there on what went down. But I can imagine her in that moment after, unsure how to feel with the rush of adrenaline and power and newfound safety. She’s done it. She’s done something she must have thought was impossible. And she tells us in game how this made her feel emboldened to handle the rest of demon kind. She doesn’t tell us in that many words, I suppose, but she says that she wants to deal with them all because she killed her foster father.

To Kat, this is personal. To Kat, mankind is something worth saving that she is willing to do everything to save. We don’t see her violence in game, but we know she’s willing to kill for this freedom. We know she’s willing to die for it to, given the aftermath of the Orders fall. It’s personal. And Kat sees it as something far bigger then her.

Often Kat I think is written off as someone who is naïve and weak and in need of saving. I’ve complained at length how I feel about her being called naïve. In game we see a very interesting, complex person in Kat I think. I’ve said before that it’s kind of fun to just watch her in scenes. Like really watch her. She has very deliberate body language that often betrays this calm she’s fighting to display, particularly around Dante for the first half of the game or so. It’s little things like how she physically contains herself after the ‘I like it rough’ comment, shutting her eyes and taking in a deep breath, but things that are there. She’s someone who, despite everything, is fighting to be a softer, kinder person even if she’s still got a lot of anger (Vergil does compare her and Dante, after all).

And being soft and kind does not make someone weak. Existing in a world where you are at a disadvantage to the things that aim to hurt you is not weak. Entering into your enemies tent armed with nothing but an elaborate gown and your anger, waiting until you spot a sword and an opportunity is not weak either.

I think something about Kat that is so often forgotten in the drama of the twins and everything else (because lets face it, no matter the media, female characters tend to get side lined for...everything else really), is without her the twins would have failed. It’s Kat who gets Dante and safely brings him to the Order. It’s Kat’s spells that bridge the human world to Limbo. It’s Kat who saves Vergil in the server room by way of bringing Dante to him. It’s Kat who ultimately gives the twins the final plan to get to Mundus. It was her. Dante says so at the end, to. The game recognizes that without Kat, the boys have nothing. And it's still Kat at the end who saves Vergil, and saves Dante from the guilt of killing him.

With Kat taking so much into her own hands despite her disadvantage, despite just being human, despite her softness, despite this rage boiling under her skin (or perhaps because of it), she is so much of why the world is free from demons.

I mean Artemisia herself got that treatment, largely left out of artistic canon until very recently despite her success during her time. I also debated for a very, very long time across the many, many iteration of this essay on how much I talk about Artemisia’s personal life. I suppose if you made it this far you’ve seen that I’ve chosen not to, despite how it could be relevant to this discussion. But I think her work stands on it’s own without me having to justify the anger Artemisia may have personally felt and conveyed here without bringing up her personal life in depth. Though, if you want to know, I assure you that pretty much any information you look up on Artemisia will go into detail on her personal traumas and how that might impact her work. And it could definitely be relevant angle in discussing Kat and Artemisia, I just felt it overall did not add to this essay.

I often wonder, if she was in a different game or a different medium or a different story, if Kat might get more love. So often she’s called weak for the crime of not having a big weapon and a trail of dead demons behind her. So often she’s reduced to a love interest or a damsel despite how she is really the thing that saved the day, despite the fact her relationship with both twins is much more then ‘potential love interest’. And how many times have you guys seen a post on your dash about wishing a character picked to enact revenge on an abuser? How they fought to be soft despite their trauma and pain? But I suppose, as is often the case with women in any story, she might have gotten this treatment anyway.

So, here’s to Kat. The brain cell, the Nephilim baby sitter, the girl who wanted to throw Vergil off a cliff, the hero Limbo city got who will never get enough credit, and forever the girl who deserved more.

Those of us who love you will love you enough for the whole fandom, it’s alright.

#dmc devil may cry #dmc reboot #devil may cry reboot #dmc kat #devil may cry kat #kat devil may cry #kat dmc #dmc: devil may cry #devil may cry reboot kat #tw decapitation #fab talks meta

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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

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“Dependable senior” Kido Jou

Continuing my thread of analyzing the Adventure characters in detail, today we’ll be talking about Jou, Adventure’s most famous disaster character whom most of us have probably started feeling may actually be the most relatable character in this cast. It’s hard not to love him, honestly, given how earnestly he works so hard at everything and yet has an unfortunate tendency to dig himself into a hole.

Let’s just cut to the chase and talk about Jou!

Jou’s family background

Adventure is of course known for its overall focus on family backgrounds, but Jou’s is fairly different from the others’ for a lot of different reasons. We never meet Jou’s parents in the series itself, only in a drama CD, but we do meet his brother, Kido Shin -- and in fact, Jou’s the only Adventure kid to have siblings outside of the group (two, in fact, although we don’t meet Shuu until 02).

Jou’s family is what’s often called an “elite” family -- one that pushes for its kids and family members to have a certain degree of “high status” through their career. Even those in non-Asian countries will probably recognize that academic achievement measurement pressure is endemic to the culture in general -- especially since Japan has standard entrance exams go all the way down to high school level -- but it is especially prominent in the case of the Kido family, and Jou’s father has been pushing all three of his sons to become doctors, largely because he wants one of them to inherit his clinic. (While it’s not as extreme as Sora’s problem with iemoto position inheritance, Jou’s position of being in inheritance pressure is not entirely dissimilar.) It also means that just being any kind of doctor isn’t enough for him -- it’s got to be one of the “dignified and prominent” kinds of doctors (heavily implied to involve surgery, given the mention of blood).

In addition, while it’s not strictly said within the series itself, it’s implied that Jou is feeling a lot of pressure in terms of being the youngest of three sons, when the older two have a huge age gap with him. Jou is only in elementary school, while his second oldest brother is in high school and his oldest brother already a medical student! (By the time Adventure is over, both brothers are in national university, which is a really tough achievement.) Within his family, Jou really is The Baby compared to two high-achieving brothers who are already “well on their way to great things”.

In order to be on the path of becoming a doctor, Jou starts off the series, only in elementary school, in the “prep school track” -- or, what’s basically a constant cycle of getting into a good school so that he can get into another good school so that he can get into another good school (et cetera). Again, Japanese schools have entrance exams as early as high school, so this is something he’ll be setting on very early. I also cannot emphasize enough that for anyone who has to go through this process, it is absolute hell. I have never met anyone who actually enjoys doing this; it’s a means to an end. It’s very hard to have your heart into this unless you want the final goal that badly -- vague promises of status alone don’t do it -- and even those who do want it often end up demotivated and going through the motions with their will broken partway into it.

And, unfortunately for Jou, he’d already had a good reason to not want to do this from day one.

Jou has severe blood phobia. (Formally called “hemophobia”, although I tend to avoid that term given that it’s one letter off from something else.) Shin even makes it clear in this scene from Adventure episode 38 that any doubts about Jou’s ability to become a doctor don’t have anything to do with his personality or abilities, but the fact is that this is, indeed, a very serious and concrete problem for someone who intends to become a doctor (or at least, again, the kind of doctor that his father wants him to be). It’s possible that Jou outright fainting at the sight of blood might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s definitely enough of a deterrent that he’s not feeling this whole thing at all, and convincing him to actually care about becoming a doctor is going to require a huge uphill battle. By default, the answer was already a huge, capital NO in giant letters before anything ever began. And yet, Jou continued to force himself to go through the motions.

It should also be made clear that while Jou’s father was pressuring him to become a doctor, he was also not trying to force Jou to become one. The drama CD where he appears had him actually outwardly encourage Jou to do whatever he wanted instead of forcing himself -- but it was also extremely clear that he was still personally very unhappy and dissatisfied with the idea of all three brothers not taking over his clinic. As much as the Kido brothers do seem to be concerned about their father’s disapproval, it’s less so out of fear of retribution and more that they just really worry about disappointing him. Hence, this is why Jou continues to follow the path even when he’s not really feeling it, and it’s important to understanding Jou as a character for the rest of this post: Jou has no personal interest in status or honor, but is motivated by his sense of duty towards other people.

Even so, “because my father really wants me to” isn’t exactly very motivating in itself, and, all in all, Jou starts off Adventure very jaded about his future prospects, and rather demotivated and uninterested in them. But come the events of Adventure, Jou, the aforementioned “baby of the family”, gets recasted as the oldest in the group -- which becomes a huge factor in how he ends up changing his view of himself and his personal goals.

Jou in Adventure

Jou starts off the series assigned as Mimi’s camp group leader, but even Mimi senses an aura from him that he doesn’t seem very “reliable”. In this case, the word “reliable” doesn’t refer to his Crest name (which did get a dub name of “Reliability”) but rather various words that effectively mean “able to be counted on”. Which, at this early point of the story, Jou is decidedly not. Once the adventure gets off the ground, Jou easily succumbs to stress, and especially the stress and burden placed on him from being the oldest in the group.

If you’re wondering if that one-year difference between Jou and Taichi/Yamato/Sora really is that big of a deal, culturally speaking: yes, it is (especially when everyone’s at this young age), and Jou isn’t just being stickler about it. You can actually see an example of how this comes into play once they return to regular society in Adventure episode 29, when the kids are allowed to go to Hikarigaoka purely because “a sixth-grader” (Jou) is with them. This is the kind of responsibility that society normally imposes on him, and this is what he carries even into another world.

In fact, Jou’s aware even from the get-go that he’s not exactly cut out for that kind of role. From the Adventure novels:

Jou thought about it. He, too, felt sorry for the younger boy… but it would be over for his leadership if he went back on what he’d already decided. Give them an opening and they’ll soon be walking all over him. He just couldn’t have that. Jou was all too aware of his own often indecisive personality. ... When they heard what had transpired between her and Jou, Yamato and the others glared coldly in Jou’s direction. What was this, a dictatorship?

As a result, he initially rubs everyone the wrong way because, in their view, he’s trying to impose his will on everyone like some control freak, but as it turns out, being a control freak is actually part of Jou’s stress response.

Said control freakishness manifests in Jou constantly spending the early part of the series by leaning back on “the rules of society” -- including the early series running gag of him insisting that there must be “adults” there, when this is clearly not the case to everyone else present -- because, for someone like him who easily gives into stress and anxiety and has a nasty tendency to become incredibly irrational, leaning on those “rules” is some degree of comfort to him. Now that he’s been dragged into another world, he’s desperately clawing at anything that can bring his sense of “reality” back -- hence why he keeps relying on the concept of “adults”, because the truth is that he himself isn’t actually that capable of handling the situation on his own, and he’s trying to convince himself that there’s Some More Reliable Thing Out There that they can fall back on.

The infamous “egg scene” in Adventure episode 7 is certainly comedic when Jou overreacts to everyone harmlessly listing off things they like on their eggs, but things quickly take a turn for the dramatic when Jou practically has a mental breakdown over it. In the end, Jou so easily succumbs to anxiety that even little things like “being a little out of order” stress him out to no end. The world is easy to understand and explain when everything is in the right place, and chaos has a tendency to completely disorient him.

But on the other hand, it’s also in Adventure episode 7 where we learn that Jou’s control freak behavior isn’t because he actually cares about any kind of status or honor for being the oldest, but because he truly, truly feels responsible for everyone’s welfare.

“Because I’m the oldest” is a statement that Jou means in the context of him having a duty to protect everyone -- beyond everything, the one thing that does make Jou passionate is how much he truly, truly cares about other people’s welfare, to the point he impulsively throws himself onto the Black Gear-controlled Unimon and tries to yank the gear out with his bare hands. In fact, said episode demonstrates that Jou can be recklessly self-sacrificial when he wants to be, because his failed attempts at dispute resolution lead him to conclude that he should be the one to take one for the team. For all it’s worth, Jou has the right idea when it comes to trying to take leadership, because he’s very much doing this for the welfare of others more than he ever cares about himself or the glory of the position -- it’s just that, being rather reckless, rather paranoid, and not very good at actually thinking straight, his way of going about it doesn’t tend to always land right.

But it’s undeniable that he cares, and he’s trying, and this leads to a shift in how the rest of the team comes to perceive him for the rest of the series now that they understand that his intentions really are for their sake, not because he’s trying to be a jerk about it.

And that comes out to be the one most prominent trait about Jou for the rest of the series, especially in Adventure episodes 23 and 36 -- as much as an unpredictable loose cannon as he can be, he’s so loyal to his friends and determined to protect them that he would even recklessly throw himself into the line of fire for them. That’s the basis of his Crest, which is something that’s been translated half a dozen different ways, but all boil down to the same principle: he has a strong sense of duty and responsibility to other people, and will always make do on his promises to others or his desire to provide for them.

After a few of their initial bad starts, the Adventure kids never treat him badly -- in fact, both Sora and Mimi respectfully call him “Jou-senpai” as if to acknowledge his position over them in school, something that’s stuck very well with the actual fanbase (more on this later). Of course, everyone tends to get exasperated at him or worry about whether he’ll actually pull through on anything he attempts, but the majority of the humor revolving around Jou in Adventure has very little to do with anyone insulting or tormenting him, and more that he tends to be so dramatic and high-strung that he kind of digs himself into a hole. (Like how he tries to angrily chastise everyone for spending their money on food in Adventure episode 30, only for the revelation that he’s starving himself to kick in and for him to sink into the exact opposite extreme.) Ultimately, everyone comes to understand that Jou’s working really hard for their sake, so they cut him a bit of slack.

In fact, while Taichi initially complains about Jou sitting out of their trip to Shibaura to find the eighth child for the sake of entrance exam studies in Adventure episode 32, the kids strike a compromise by dumping all of their phone call work on him. Of course, this is a bit of “revenge” for him not accompanying them, but it is effectively the other kids respecting his right to sit out and not have to completely give up on his real life obligations even in the middle of the eighth child search, by allowing him to participate in the search in a way that’s more convenient for him.

But despite diligently sticking to the motions, Jou doesn’t actually emotionally care about all of this. We even get a hint of this in Adventure episode 35 -- Jou gets what he calls “the worst grade in his life,” presumably due to all of the stress he’d been going through lately, having just gotten back from the Digital World and all. He also bounces back incredibly quickly, saying that he’ll have to call and inform his parents he’ll be back late.

In the end, Jou doesn’t really care about his grades or performance when it comes to cram school, even despite insisting on sticking to it, because he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t even want to be a doctor all that much; he has no true motivation and no reason to care. (The only time Jou is ever portrayed as actually liking doing any kind of studying at all rather than doing it as obligation is when everyone’s listing off what they miss doing in Adventure episode 6, but it’s in a context where everyone’s talking about missing home, so it’s more of him missing his daily routine and what’s “familiar” to him than anything else.) He went through the motions, and was slightly disappointed about the grade, but the “ultimate goal” of becoming a doctor had no personal meaning to him, and so he shrugs it all off.

Jumping in physical danger to save someone’s life? That’s a no-brainer -- Jou would easily throw himself into the line of fire to do so, because he’s so passionate about protecting other people and taking responsibility for them that he’ll gladly sacrifice himself for anyone else in a heartbeat. But this whole thing about becoming a doctor and his future career is such a vague thing that he doesn’t even want that it’s arguably more of his “required daily routine” than it’s actually something he cares about all that much.

And so, we finally meet Kido Shin, in Adventure episode 38 -- he’s the oldest of the Kido brothers, already a medical student, and, ostensibly, the one closest to their father’s goal of having doctor sons. Yet his first appearance indicates that even he doesn’t have it all together, either -- he sleeps in the closet (Jou didn’t even know about this!), and somehow just slept through all of his surroundings being kidnapped. So even one of Jou’s apparent models is a bit of a disaster himself -- and, more importantly, Shin leaves some advice with Jou that sticks with him for the rest of the series.

Shin does not intend to be a doctor in the way their father wants him to be (remember, he specifically wants them to take over his clinic). This is Jou’s first time hearing about this, which is important because it means it’s the first time Jou is having such a major shakeup to his likely perception of Shin as a “prior example” -- and Shin knows this, because he promptly uses himself as an example of why Jou should also be free to choose his own path. Jou being the Kido family’s “baby” especially comes out in the novel, because Shin implies that he thinks Shuu would feel independent enough to not need any advice about this, whereas Jou definitely needs it.

We don’t get follow-up on this until after they return to the Digital World, and Mimi witnessing a handful of deaths and eventually Taichi and Yamato falling out brings her to her emotional limit; Jou decides to take responsibility for her, and while part of it is presumably because he’s had charge of her as her camp group leader since the beginning, it’s also clear that the recent events in the Digital World are weighing on him in their own way, as are Shin’s words about finding his own path.

What he wanted to tell her was this: that he didn’t see any likelihood of co-existing with the Dark Masters, and that they had no other choice but to fight them. Even a neutral country like Switzerland had a military. They would be invaded by enemy countries without one. It would be nice and ideal if they used the nonviolent resistance approach as Ghandi did. But that didn’t mean it was okay to just be killed without lifting a finger… But not even he could find a good answer.

QUESTION: Under what circumstances is it okay to battle?

That sort of question would never appear on a school test, and he’d never once thought about it before…

But on their way, Jou and Mimi encounter Ogremon and Leomon, and for the first time, Jou’s peripheral knowledge of medicine from his father starts having a practical use -- up until then, “becoming a doctor” had only been something that he’d been following for a vague sense of status that he didn’t even want, but here, Jou starts to see the connection between that goal and what it would mean for what he wants: to be able to help people right in front of him. Shortly after, when Leomon’s death turns out to involve injuries beyond that a sixth-grader can take care of with his limited supplies (”toilet paper won’t fix this!”), Jou is suddenly hit with a certain sense of reality: if Jou wants to truly help others, there is much more of a skillset he’s going to need to gather in order to do so.

So by the time of Adventure episode 50, Shin’s words now weigh so much on Jou that he’s even dreaming about them, and he finally internalizes those words of “everyone taking their own path”. In short, this is Jou acknowledging that fighting isn’t the only way to meaningfully contribute -- after all, Mimi has a severe aversion to fighting or seeing more casualties and thus can better meaningfully contribute by gathering allies to work together, while Taichi and Koushirou are directly in the front lines.

Jou, ostensibly, decides to go off and find Yamato, but there’s another layer under this: Jou admits that he’s not very strong, so much to the point that he doesn’t think Gomamon will reach Ultimate, and feels like there should be “something only he can do”. The full answer to what Jou started touching on here, and what he ends up doing thereafter, is stated in explicit words in Two-and-a-Half Year Break:

When we were in the Digital World last summer, many of the Digimon got injured and died. I couldn’t do anything for them, even though I was a doctor’s son. I don’t want to ever feel useless again! Not when someone is hurt in front of me. The Digital World doesn’t have a doctor. They need someone who’ll be able to heal them. Even now, I carry around a simple first-aid kit just in case the Gate opens again. Because of it, my bag is always crammed. And my arms are becoming muscular. [laughs] Really! By the way, I have a problem. Of course, I’ll be doing regular doctor studies, but I’ll be treating Digimon, you know? Don’t you think I’ll need to study veterinary medicine too in order to heal them?

And thus, Jou finds the all-important link that actually motivates him to want to become a doctor -- the one thing that had always been a constant about Kido Jou was that he could not leave people behind when they needed help right in front of him. Or in other words, he has a marvelous case of Good Samaritan syndrome (a whole eleven years before Kudou Taiki, at that!). “Feeling useless” is pretty much on the very, very top of the list of things he hates the most. And, by his own admission, “fighting” is not really his specialty, and he doesn’t even particularly like it himself.

But he wants to meaningfully contribute in some way, and now, here’s an option that isn’t fighting: he has the roots in a talent for treating the wounded and preventing casualties that way. All he has to do is hone it. And just like how Shin decided that he specifically wanted to be a doctor in a place where a doctor would be needed most, Jou also decides he specifically wants to be a doctor for the Digital World, because that is something he can meaningfully provide for instead of becoming a doctor for the status.

He’s still going to disappoint his father this way, but never mind that: he’s found something that he wants, and it’s his own path, like Shin told him to follow. And yes, that means even if he has to fight his own blood phobia to do so.

And this becomes very important to how he’s able to confidently help bring Sora out of her darkness-induced spiel in Adventure episode 51, where she -- who has a problem with a compulsive tendency to burn herself out in helping others -- starts falling into despair because she caves to the pressure of having to save everyone. Yamato and Jou, together, simply re-shift her frame of mindset: it’s not that being a Chosen Child is about trying and failing to fulfill a particular duty, it’s that there’s a situation happening and they are actively making the choice to do everything they can. Because, really, Jou himself understands it best -- he’s never been someone good at doing things because other people tell him to, he’s someone who’s gotten this far because of his own personal sense of responsibility and priorities being so strong, and that’s why he’s capable of pushing on with his own path and what he wants.

02 and beyond

Jou was, unfortunately, forced to sit out the events of Our War Game!, but as far as blaming him for it goes, it’s really hard to; he had no idea this was going on at all, and by the time the incident had hit climax, he was already in the test room and impossible to be contacted. (You can imagine he was probably quite upset about not having been able to help out afterwards.) As for why nobody tries to pull him out the way they do end up pulling him aside a few times in 02, it’s because this isn’t just a practice exam for prep school -- this is THE exam. Remember, this kind of lifestyle involves a chain of needing to get into a good school to get into a good school to get into a good school, and Jou is aiming for a national university like his brothers; this actually could impact the rest of his career, and given that the other kids respect how important this is to him, it’s also understandable that they’d be a bit hesitant to pull him aside from this.

We’re first properly reintroduced to Jou in 02 episode 5. Unlike Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Koushirou, Jou does not attend Odaiba Middle School, which means that, assuming that the Adventure universe Odaiba is like the real-life one in which Odaiba (Koyo) Elementary and Middle are the only schools on the island, Jou regularly spends his school and prep school days off the island and quite separated from the others. Instead, Jou attends a private middle school (hence why he had to take an exam to get in), presumably one that’s intended to help him on the medical school track.

But despite that, his first major scene in the series is to ditch prep school to go help Gomamon. For someone who doesn’t know Jou very well, this probably would seem appalling -- that someone so studious would be so willing to ditch at the drop of a hat -- but anyone who does know him well would probably not be surprised; after all, “being a doctor” is still a far-off dream, whereas Gomamon needs help now, and the number one thing Jou can’t stand is to leave people in need behind.

Unlike with Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Koushirou, who all have some degree of connection to the 02 juniors in some way (Taichi and Yamato being Hikari and Takeru’s brothers, Taichi and Sora having known Daisuke from the soccer club, and Koushirou having known Miyako from the soccer club), Jou is a complete stranger when he’s introduced to Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori, with Digimon-related work being the only connection they have to him at all. Despite that, the new 02 kids, being well-behaved juniors who really look up to their elders, immediately endear themselves well to him -- in fact (you can thank @takerusfedora for this observation), Miyako squishing Poromon in delight upon seeing him, and the context she usually does this in, hints that she might even see him as attractive. (Considering that he’s a prospective medical student from an elite family, this probably shouldn’t be too surprising.)

While the fact he’s medical school bound isn’t explicitly brought up in the series itself, the fact he’s well on that path is already pretty evident by his actions, given that he comes stocked with heating pads and other medical supplies, just in case. Takeru comments on him always being prepared -- because he’s constantly thinking of other people and how he can be useful to them.

This episode also marks the beginning of a particular relationship between Jou and Iori, which is quite an interesting one considering that we’re talking about the oldest and the youngest of the group of eleven (not quite twelve yet) Tokyo Chosen Children at this point. As many point out even within this episode, Jou and Iori have a lot in common, and it’s likely Jou sees a bit of himself in Iori -- someone who has a firm insistence on principles (even beyond the point of practicality), but also is protective of others and hates to see them hurt. Not only that, Iori had even gotten a similar lesson from his grandfather earlier in the episode about the importance of “making one’s own decisions” -- and so, the two share common ground in Iori having ditched his “duty” to practice kendo with his grandfather that day in order to help Gomamon, and Jou having done likewise via ditching his prep school classes. Because Iori will always have more kendo lessons, and this certainly won’t be the last prep school class Jou has, but these are effectively two kindred spirits who care so much about friends in need that prioritizing them over all else is non-negotiable.

Jou compliments Iori by calling him “dependable”, which is a huge compliment coming from someone who, at this point of the story, regularly attracts comments like “dependable senior”. 02-era Jou gets this kind of reference a lot in press materials and fan descriptions of him, because now that he’s matured a bit and isn’t as prone to making ridiculous, reckless decisions or being as emotionally high-strung, his on-point aspects like being very on-task and always keeping his word are much more visible.

Well, that said, he still kind of starts screaming loudly as soon as he hears his dad is supposedly in trouble in the middle of his exam in 02 episode 16, so he’s still a little emotionally high-strung. But never mind that!

As usual (especially since this is most likely a practice exam, one of many Jou will be taking for the next year), Jou doesn’t mind being interrupted all that much; it’s not like exams are any fun anyway, so of course Jou doesn’t really care about being pulled from it, especially when Daisuke and the others are literally suffocating to death at that exact moment.

Unfortunately, for Iori, this entire incident is a convergence of things totally eating away at his psyche; he’s still blaming himself for everyone being trapped down there, he’s just placed a burden on Jou, and his grandfather had just said that lying is the worst thing that one could ever do, so now Iori thinks of himself a horrible, undeserving person. But Jou is someone who empathizes with being so stuck on “principles” that you forget the big picture, and reframes it in a way Iori can understand: lies are bad when they hurt people, but in this case, not lying would have led to much, much worse happening, and both Iori and Jou share that common ground of absolutely hating the feeling of standing by and doing nothing while others are in trouble.

We also finally meet the third (or, technically, second) Kido brother in 02 episode 33, Kido Shuu -- and while we don’t see him interact directly with Jou (at least, not until the drama CD), what we learn about him contextualizes Jou’s situation even further: Shuu not only decided to leave the path of inheriting his father’s clinic, he’d also decided to ditch the medical school path entirely, switching to humanities because he was so fascinated by Professor Takenouchi’s work. That’s a pretty drastic shift, but, as Shin had said in the novel, Shuu is the type to be independent enough to do whatever he wants without Shin even having to advise him of this, and given that he made this decision less than a year after the events of Adventure, it was likely a huge motivator in Jou deciding that their prior “example” of being medical students wasn’t necessarily something he needed to follow when both of his own brothers weren’t even following that standard anymore to begin with.

And, much like with Jou, Shuu’s new chosen profession also brings him closer to the Digimon, except in an “understanding more about them” sense rather than Jou’s medical sense. So, just like Shin wanted, all three brothers found their own paths.

In Diablomon Strikes Back, Jou is thankfully blessed with being much more available to deal with the conflict; he starts off stuck in a long line to register for high school in the midst of scrambled records, but comes to assist Daisuke and Ken with a bike as soon as he’s able. This movie being quite the comedic one, you get to see a bit of his disaster tendencies slip back in as he scrambles to help everyone -- but, as always, he’s doing his best.

A lot of people have also pointed out that the movie spends an awful amount of scenes depicting him in the company of the girl he borrowed the bike from, which has led to a few amusing extrapolations, but at the base level implies that he at the very least wanted to make absolute sure that her bike was safely returned to her once everything is over -- after all, Jou would hate to be responsible for someone losing a bike, or in debt to someone. He’s someone who fulfills his obligations, after all.

By the time Jou actually is in medical school in Kizuna, he truly has become among the crowd too busy to participate regularly in Digimon incident tackling (similar to Sora and Mimi), but To Sora indicates that he’s still keeping tabs on everyone through their group chat and emotionally supporting them, and it’s made clear in both the short and the overall movie that the rest of the group is sympathetic to and understanding of how difficult life is to juggle with all of this. Not only that, much like how Jou stated back in Adventure that he was looking for a way to meaningfully contribute and help out besides just fighting, Jou plays an important role in using his position to tend to all of the Eosmon kidnapping victims.

At least, until he ends up becoming a victim himself and is actually dragged into the fight -- and, now that he’s actually on the spot and the conflict is right in front of him, he approaches it with enthusiastic gusto, indicating that he’s still able to be as emotionally high-strung as ever.

We get more info on Jou in his Memorial Story short, “Kido Jou: Medical Student” (which takes place at some unspecified point before the movie), where we learn that Gomamon is still worried about how much that blood phobia thing might impact Jou’s career, and “tests” him by having himself and Agumon pose as mock victims. Jou, very tired and not in a mood to play, snaps at him (rather understandably, given that Gomamon is kind of being a bit insensitive here), but when Gomamon is injured, Jou immediately puts everything aside to help him, even through -- yep -- blood.

Again, it’s not entirely clear how severe Jou’s blood phobia was back when he was a kid, but it’s at least put on the table that Jou’s figured out a way to push past that in order to fulfill his dream, and especially when it involves a loved one being hurt in front of him. Jou tires himself out pretty badly with the work, but hey -- he used to jump recklessly into physical line of fire for his friends, so of course that kind of thing is nothing to him. (But he still apparently is a bit lacking in the confidence department.)

Because Jou was lucky enough to be able to concretely decide on what he wanted to do as early as elementary school, Jou’s epilogue career is naturally the single most straightforward, and really just amounts to “you know that thing he wanted to do? He did it.” And indeed, he becomes the Digital World’s first doctor -- presumably not inheriting his father’s clinic, nor following a high-status expected path, but choosing to become a pioneer in a place he has a deep emotional stake in, in a place where he’s needed because there are no alternatives. And, of course, he’s depicted treating Ogremon, who was effectively Jou’s first “patient” all the way in Adventure, the first step in him realizing that this was his path, and his alone.

Meta

Jou occupies an interesting position in the Digimon fanbase in terms of memes, considering that there’s a fanbase meme of over a decade where anything relevant to him gets people spamming “JOOOOOOOOOOOOO” (with varying levels of Os). Being a comedic but lovable character who tries his hardest but repeatedly runs himself into a corner, he also happens to resonate much harder with the adults in the audience rewatching the series, because all of us as disaster adults can just so easily look at him and go “oh, that’s me.” He also seems to be inexorably tied to the word “senpai”, given that so many characters call him that (including the 02 kids, who never went to school with him); after a certain point it’s hard to dispute that he (especially in 02) exudes this kind of “dependable senior” aura, and, like with “Ken-chan”, the Japanese fanbase has a tendency to constantly use “Jou-senpai” all of the time to refer to him affectionately.

His Japanese voice actor, Kikuchi Masami, also holds the distinction of having been in nearly every Digimon TV series to date (the only exception, as of this writing, being Appmon), with him having been Jou (and Jou’s entire family of two brothers, his mother, and his father) in Adventure and 02, Dolphin and Grani in Tamers, Neemon in Frontier and Adventure:, Kurata in Savers, and Damemon in Xros Wars. (Him being the absolutely despicable Kurata in contrast to the endearing and lovable Jou has been cited as quite a shock to many.) There’s been many a joke about Kikuchi’s constant presence, but Jou is undeniably his most iconic role for the franchise, and you can also imagine it’s conversely gotten a lot of people to fondly think of him every time Kikuchi reappears.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kido jou #jou kido #kizuna spoilers #shihameta #cw blood mention

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akatsukinojutsu · 4 years ago

Text

𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒮𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒯𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈 - Uchiha Itachi

Your great, great grandfather Tobirama Senju never trusted the Uchiha and that trait was passed down to your grandfather. Your grandfather passed that to your father and he would be damned if you would be acquainted with one.

Just so happens that you fell in love with one, Uchiha Itachi. Although the two of you share a strong relationship but you sense him pulling away. One night sealed his fate and reputation -- you followed him there and you still do, even as Itachi has evolved to an Akatsuki member. [sorry it’s so long! originally posted on my ao3]

"You know you're my special girl, right?" your father was knelt down to meet your level and smiled as he rubbed the top of your head. "I entrust the future of the Senju name to you." he stood back up and looked down as his demeanor took on a more serious tone. He raised a finger and placed it on the tip of your nose, "No matter what you do, beware of the Uchiha, [Y/N]." Your father was the son of your grandfather, who was the son of Senju Tobirama and you were the last of the direct Tobirama bloodline. This caused your father to feel the weight of leaving the legacy of the Senju clan to you.

He raised you on his own as your mother passed away in childbirth, an emotional burden that the two of you carried. Your father kept you under his watch constantly as he did not trust the outside world and did not want you to be tainted. Your clan was known as being the "clan of a thousand skills". The wrong people could see a naïve child as being the best possible opportunity to use this power for evil. So, that is why your father kept you by his side at all times. This meant that you were not allowed to train as a shinobi like the other children of Konohagakure; he left that training up to himself. Who else to train a Senju than a Senju?

That also meant that he passed down the distrust of the rival Uchiha clan. Great grandfather Tobirama taught Uchiha mistrust to his son, who taught it to his, who then tried to teach it to you. You were headstrong however and did not believe that all Uchiha could be cunning and untrustworthy. No matter how much you argued with your father, it never got anywhere; so you learned to keep quiet on the subject. Unbeknownst to him, just the same as his great-uncle had befriended an Uchiha, you had as well.

His name was Uchiha Itachi and you met him long while exploring the village late at night. Since a young age, you often found yourself sneaking out of your house late at night to get away from your father's overbearing nature. It was a way that you could rebel against him but not hurt him in any serious way. Tonight was one of those nights that you snuck out... You walked into the woods on the outskirts of the village and ran up the tallest tree that you could find. But this time you knew that you weren't alone. Your forefinger looped through the hole at the top of the kunai in your waistband, throwing it into the trunk of the tree off to your right.

"Come out!" you yelled. But there was silence. You flashed a series of hand seals and summoned a stream of high-pressured water to spray from your mouth, "Water Release: Water Severing Wave!" -- and cut several treetops down in your path. Still no one appeared. Just as you were ready to jump to the next tree branch, a person dressed in an ANBU uniform and mask pounced from below and tackled you from the current branch. As the two of you tumbled to the forest's floor, you wrestled with the person to get the dominate position, however, they were too fast for you. With a thud you landed on a branch several yards below, the wind knocked out of you.

The person quickly regained the upper ground and lunged toward you; your foot was able to make a quick kick into their stomach which sent them flying into the adjacent to your current position. They arched their back and jumped to a standing position. With a sword in hand and with a lightening fast summoning technique, a flurry of crows flew at you. The bird swarmed you quickly, you waved your arms and hands wildly to try and shoo them away. This left you vulnerable for an attack, the ANBU opponent jumped into the air with their sword at the ready.

The Senju blood that flowed through your veins allowed your speed on your feet to be impeccable and you were able to dodge their attack as well as roll away from the flock of crows. The ninjutsu of crows had concluded which then the assailant began to barrage you with a flurry of kenjutsu attacks with their sword. Armed with only a kunai, you fended off their blows to the best of your abilities. Each slash of their sword pushed your strength to its near limits, your knees slowly bent as you started to fall into submission. With one last slash, the assailant brought you to your knees. With both hands on the hilt of the kunai and it being held above your head, you viciously held back their strength the best that you could.

The sword dug into your arm slightly, blood pooled from the slit in your skin. "Do you give up?" they asked. You considered giving up. But with one last ninjutsu attempt, you used your great grandfather's Heavenly Weeping jutsu. A water type ninjutsu that formed water into senbon shaped projectiles and shot from your mouth to stagger enemies. You dropped the kunai and the sword dug further into your arm. You strained to form the seals for the technique; however, you were successful in spitting several senbon into the person's thigh to get them to drop their guard; they recoiled in pain and released the sword.

This gave you the opportunity to jump backward with the kunai in hand and at the ready. "I'd say this is a draw." you dropped your stance and dropped to the ground with a huff. The opponent removed their mask and revealed the familiar face of the Uchiha boy, Itachi.

"I could've won, y'know?" you spoke first. Itachi winced at the pain but hummed in amusement at your statement, "Sure." He pulled out the senbon from his thigh, then stepped toward you to put out his hand to pick you up but you pushed it away. "I'll win. Sometime." Itachi hummed again. "I did once!" you sassed. "That's because I let you, [Y/N]." Your eyes narrowed in annoyance at the black haired teenager. He was two years younger than you but has excelled in his shinobi career far past yourself. Your father keeping you away from much of the village did not aid you in your advancement -- he wouldn't let you be free until you were 18 and that was just a possibility... "Whatever..." you growled as you placed your hands behind your head and walked toward the village.

"I miss seeing you outside of just sparring, Itachi." He nodded. It was not often that the two of you spent time together. It had to usually be outside of the village, in his home, or at night because you feared your father's reaction. "I've been busy," he said bluntly. "Busy? Busy doing what?" He looked over to you before turning his head away, "It's not important. Just stuff to do with the village." His response was short which usually meant he didn't want to talk about it. Your lips pressed together as you processed his response.

You knew that the leaders of the village wanted him to keep an eye on his clan and vice versa. But that is all that he would tell you. He was only 13 and had the weight of an adult on his shoulders. You admired him for his maturity and his skills. Not to mention, he was super cute. Itachi stopped a few yards from the entrance to the village. A cool breeze of wind blew and the night was now silent, no sounds of the wildlife anywhere. Itachi stared at you in silence, his thoughts were unknown to you. But he just stared. You shivered at the breeze, your hands rubbed your arms.

To your surprise, Itachi pulled you close and embraced you. He smelled of sweat and his skin was warm. Your face was pressed firmly into his chest by his right palm and you could hear his steady, loud heartbeat. His thumb caressed your hair and he rested his nose on the top of your head. He didn't say anything, so you didn't either. The two of you just stood in silence, the wind being the only sound. "I-," you tried speaking but he hushed you as he just wanted to be quiet. He let go of the back of your head but his hand moved to your chin. He placed two fingers under it and tilted your face back. You knew what was going to happen but you were so nervous that you didn't know how to react. Itachi placed a kiss on your lips. They were cool from the wind and it caused your skin on your face to tingle. It was a long kiss, both of your lips pressed against each other's for quite sometime. Before the kiss could move anywhere else, he pulled away.

"Goodnight, [Y/N]." he jumped to the top of the gates to the village and off into the darkness. It was as if you were featherlight and on cloud nine because the entire walk home felt like you were floating. You had the biggest crush on Itachi. Not only was he your first friend but he was the first person to see you as a normal kid, he didn't expect you to carry out the Hokage-Titled bloodline. So, it was only natural to develop feelings for someone like him. You admired his pacifist nature and the fact that he cared very much for those he admired. Despite sparring with you for fun, he tried to avoid fighting.

Versus your headstrong attitude that you inherited; it was like the two of you canceled each other out. Itachi's tendency to live on the outside and watching people from there really related to you. The way your father raised you caused you to develop a similar personality trait, however, you wish to be apart of more people's lives. You often listened to girls coo on how dreamy the Uchiha was and had to withhold your comments. It wasn't easy having to keep your friendship a hushed deal. But you decided it would end tonight. You were done with your father's ideals and his actions. You no longer wanted to be kept away like some sort of item only used for special occasions.

"I'm going to tell father about Itachi," you said to yourself. His kiss sealed the deal. You pushed yourself through the window of your bedroom to see your father sitting on your bed to your surprise. When you jumped from the window and landed, you bowed. "Father, I-," he raised his hand to interrupt you. "I know about the Uchiha boy, Sarutobi told me." The Third Hokage? Seriously? You damned the old man as you clenched your fist and teeth. "That's what I was going to talk about you tonight," you stomped your foot, "I'm done listening to you, father. I love Uchiha Itachi!" your face flushed red as you confessed your love. You awaited your father's reaction... But his face was absent of any... He pressed his lips tightly into a line and stood up from the bed.

"Is that so? Hmph, I should've guessed this would happen." He turned away from you and took a step toward the door, "I forbid you to see him any longer," he then left and closed the door behind him. With a flurry of hand seals, he pressed his palm against the door. "Sealing jutsu!" You heard him and rushed toward the door. No matter how hard you yanked and jiggled the doorknob, it wouldn't budge. "Shit!" you screamed as you wildly tugged wildly to try and open the door. There was no way you could undo his seal... he was far more powerful than you. With your back to the door, you slid down to the floor in a fit of tears.

You loudly cursed your father you wished for the unspeakable, 'I wish he'd just die already! I'm sick of this.' After shedding several tears, you decided to do something about it. Focusing your chakra, you remembered reading about how to break a seal. It might not work but it was worth a try. Your father sealed the entire room, windows and all; your target was the windows, least you could sneak out like usual. As you approached the rectangular sliding windows, you focused your chakra and placed your palm on the glass.

"Release!" and with a small tug, you quietly pulled the window to the right and it opened up. That was easier than you expected but it did take a bit of chakra. You pushed yourself out the window and took off into a sprint toward Itachi's home. Your father had a bad feeling and rushed to your room. He released his seal on the door and pushed it open, a gasp left his mouth. He gripped the knob tightly and when he released it, the metal had been crushed and warped from his strength.

"That damned girl!!" he yelled as he stomped to go and confront his daughter and the Uchiha. His blood boiled and he cursed the rival clan and his grandfather... if he would've just killed that damned Madara, his daughter wouldn't be running off with one of them right now... Just as he attempted to leave, a sudden pain in his chest stopped him in his tracks. He grabbed the left of his chest with his right hand and winced in pain.

"My...medicine...Tsunade..." he croaked as he staggered toward the kitchen to retrieve the medication given to him by his second cousin. However, he dropped to the floor. Dead. He had a previous condition and the stress from his only daughter going off with Itachi agitated the issue and ultimately killed him. The last of the Tobirama Senju bloodline now is you. You quickly made your way to Itachi. Your mind and heart raced with excitement and panic; you were ready to confess your love to the skilled shinobi but you were petrified of what your father will do. You were somewhat familiar with the section of town where the Uchiha resided but anytime you entered, you often got looks from the clan members...looks and whispers as to why you were there...

Despite how hard it was, you did your best to ignore them. At this time of night, the lights in their homes would glow warmly and feel inviting. But this time -- it was dark and silent. You halted as you entered the area and a chill shivered down your spine. It was so...quiet. Something was wrong. As you slowly made your way down the roads, you couldn't help but feel as if someone was keeping an eye on your from the shadows. You stopped several times to look around but nothing seemed to catch your attention. So, you continued on your way to Itachi's home but kept your guard up. You weren't just some schmuck of a kunoichi, whoever it was would have to put up with a fight if they were going to attack you. But there was several things laying on the ground up ahead. You were confused as the distance made it difficult to make out...people? You sprinted toward the bodies on the ground to try and aid them.

"They're...dead?!" you shrieked. There were large, gaping slash wounds in their bodies and the blood was fresh. "I-I," you stuttered as you now sprinted to find Itachi. You called out his name in panic, hoping, praying he was not dead. As you passed the empty homes of the clan, you could see the damage done to the building and splatters of blood in the street. You could hear the rush of footsteps running toward you and just before you could leap into the air, chains wrapped around your body and pulled you to the ground with a thud. You thrashed on the ground as you tried to break free and spouted insults at the thug who caught you.

They delivered a swift kick to your abdomen which made you cough loudly, "You talk too much," the stranger crouched down and you were able to get a good look. Their voice indicated that they were male but their identity was hidden behind an orange mask with black flame markings, his hair was long, black and spikey -- his outfit was one of dark colors of blue and black. "I-Itachi?" you stuttered out but they only replied with a chuckle. The man unsheathed his katana and raised it, you clenched your eyes shut as you were rendered practically useless as much of your chakra went to releasing your father's seal. Just as the man was ready to strike you, a hand grabbed hold of his wrist.

"No," you knew that voice. Your eyes opened and you wiggled wildly as you were shocked to see Itachi standing before you. "I-Itachi!" you exclaimed. He had splatters of blood on his outfit and his katana was in the grasp of his opposite hand to the one that was holding onto the masked assailant. His eyes were red with his sharingan and you put the pieces together rather quickly. "You, you did this?" your voice shook. Itachi released his hold on the man's wrist and returned his katana to its holder. The masked man released you from the chains and Itachi helped bring you to a stand.

"I don't understand..." you continued to iterate your concerns. But the masked man interrupted, "Itachi, she is a loose end," but Itachi turned his head and stared the man down, you could feel the stillness in the air as the tension rose between the two. "She goes free." The man did not protest and merely crossed his arms. "I won't say anything, I swear!" you pleaded. "I have no one to tell! I will take this to my grave," you continued but Itachi's hands touching both sides of your face ceased your panicking. "[Y/N], go. Now!" he pressed his forehead against yours. You could see his jaw tense as if he was holding back emotion.

"I said go!" he pulled away, dropped his hands and pushed you away. You listened reluctantly but quickly took off in a sprint back toward the village. Your running was frantic and you could barely keep yourself upright as you tripped over several bodies sprawled out in the road. You looked back only once with tears in your eyes. Was the "busy" stuff he had to do involved with this? So many questions with no answers. And no hope for answers. The unknown man turned to Itachi, "Was that really a good idea, Itachi?"

Your beloved didn't reply but simply turned around to continue with the spree of death. You couldn't tell your father what had happened but you just craved his comfort. You knew his calm voice would sooth your anguish. However, you would never hear his tranquil tone again. When you discovered his body, your world shattered. Your last interaction with him was an argument and because you disobeyed.. he was dead.

You were now left alone in this world, you no longer had your father and would no longer have Itachi... "I heard that Kakashi and Guy intercepted Uchiha Itachi!" you could hear a fellow ANBU gossip to another operative. This peaked your interest as you leaned in to catch a whiff of their chattering. "I heard they were trying to get ahold of Uzumaki Naruto but were stopped. He and his partner got away, though." the other operative added. 'If it was not that long ago, maybe I can catch up with him...' you thought to yourself. You pushed yourself up from a chair you were sat in and went toward the window of the room on the upper floor of the Hokage's building. "Where are you going, [Y/N]?" your female compatriot asked.

"I have an errand to run," with that quick reply, you leaped from the window to the city below. "Damn it, Itachi. Why now? I've been trying to find you for years and you choose a day like today?" you muttered to yourself as you leaped between buildings to head toward the forest. You had been kept under close watch from your fellow black ops as some began to suspect things from your past. Ever since that night that you witnessed what Itachi had done and your father passed, you have dedicated your life to being secretive

Being an ANBU meant that your life was already shrouded in darkness and secrecy. But it was only the curiosity of your fellow ANBU to question things from your past. You were aware of their heightened suspicions, especially after the ANBU ops discovered that you were the last to see Uchiha Itachi outside of the clan's residence the night he slaughtered them all. "Itachi, I think we have ourselves a visitor," Kisame noted. The two missing-nin jumped from tree to tree and were several miles away from Konohagakure. He was surprised by the unwelcomed guest's speed but remained calm as he needed to decide how to handle the situation. You could see two figures ahead of you and struggled to make out who they were; all you could see were two black cloaks with red clouds.

You performed the Multi-Shadow Clone jutsu and instructed them to try and flank the two. Again, since you were a descendent of Senju, your speed was more than impressive. (your great-grandfather wasn't hailed as the fastest shinobi for nothing) Several of your clones were able to flank the two and they came to a halt. "Say, should we put up a fight or what?" Kisame asked with a smile and began to remove Samehada from his back. But Itachi stopped him with a raised hand, his eyes narrowed as he studied the clones.

"Stop you two!" you called out as you approached the scene. Itachi turned his head slightly and his onyx eyes gazed at you through the slits of your ANBU mask. Your heart stopped and it was as if the world melted around you. The two of you remained silent as you stared into each other's eyes. Kisame made note of this and busted a small joke as he wondered what his partner was thinking. You removed your mask and revealed your identity to the two. "Who's this tall glass of cool water, Itachi? You seem to know each other." Kisame joked again with a grin on his face.

But Itachi remained quiet and his gaze never left you. "Uchiha Itachi! I finally found you, after a long,long time." you jumped to the branch directly in front of them. You dropped to your knee and a flurry of emotions washed over you. You trembled slightly as you tried to fight back any tears that might have been trying to break through. "[Y/N]..." he finally spoke, his voice sounded just the same as when you last heard it. He seemed to have aged some, must be 21 by now. "So... you do know each other. Interesting..." Kisame said amusingly as he witnessed the interaction. Itachi turned toward him, "Kisame, leave us. I will meet with you back at base later."

Kisame opened his mouth to protest but Itachi lowered his brows, the blue skinned man complied and took off in the direction that they were already heading in. He returned his attention to you. As you stood there like a confused child, he jumped over to you and raised his hands then placed them on the sides of your face. It reminded you of that night. His thumbs which were now painted blue and a red ring on his right ring finger. He still remained quiet as the two of you stood in the forest, just like old times.

"Just like the old days..." you whispered as your eyes studied his matured face. He hummed and stared back. You pressed your lips together before you pressed them onto his. You knew that he was caught off guard by it because he took a step back to keep steady on the branch. He hesitated for a moment, his hands in the air on either side of himself before they rested on your shoulders. You exchanged more kisses as the passion began to heat up between the two of you. Itachi pushed you back several steps until your back met the trunk. As the kissing continued, hands roamed freely over each other's bodies as you discovered your now adult forms. He was the first to pull away, his hair was a mess and his cloak was disheveled. You tried to pull him back from the collar of his cloak but he pulled away again. "[Y/N]..."

You tried several more times to pull him into more kissing but Itachi objected. "[Y/N], I need to go and so do you." as he tried to turn away, you yanked him back. "No!" you barked. "I finally have you here and you are trying to leave," your gaze dropped and tears welled in your eyes. "Take me with you." Itachi shook his head as he brushed his hair from his face, "Out of the question." You took a step toward him as you pulled out your katana from its holster on your back. You raised it up to his throat with both hands on the hilt. "I am going with you, Uchiha. No buts about it."

Itachi didn't seemed startled by your reaction and simply pushed the blade away with his pointer and middle finger tips. "You're willing to disown Konohagakure?" Your jaw tightened as you turned away, your eyes fixating on the direction of the village. "There is nothing there for me. I only joined the ANBU because I knew it was a way to utilize my skills. I think my father would've liked that" you took the ANBU mask out from a side pouch and discarded it to the side. As the mask tumbled to the forest floor, it took your allegiance to the village with it. You took a knee and submitted yourself over to Itachi.

"But he's dead and I am fully willing to come with you, Itachi," your eyes raised from the ground up to him. He looked down to you as his height shadowed over you. The Uchiha hummed and a small smile spread across his lips; he leant out his hand to you. You returned the smile and took it. Finally reunited with the Uchiha. A Senju and an Uchiha? Who would've guessed. "Will you ever explain that night to me, Itachi?" you asked, he was quiet for a moment before answering,

"Yes, in time, [Y/N]."

#naruto imagines #naruto imagine #itachi x reader #itachi uchiha x reader #reader x itachi #reader x itachi uchiha #itachi/reader #itachi uchiha/reader #reader/itachi #reader/itachi uchiha #itachi imagine #itachi uchiha imagine #itachi imagines #itachi uchiha imagines #naruto fanfiction #naruto #itachi uchiha

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steropeshu · 5 years ago

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Theory: What if Tsukasa was a good guy?

All right, first time that I’m throwing out a theory, (with the assistance of @trish-chan!) so forgive me if I’m tripping on my words. Okay, so, theory time. (Also, to avoid confusion, I call No.7 by Hanako, and pre-death by Amane)

When I say Tsukasa was a good guy, I mean as in a good bro before he died. I think the current consensus is that Tsukasa was the one abusing Amane (theorized to be in varying degrees…), but what if he wasn’t the one behind it? What if Tsukasa ended up becoming corrupted or messed up in some way?

This ended up really really long, so the whole this is under the cut...

First, let’s focus on how they were alive. What was their relationship like? Well, we know they were close, at least. There’s this one bit in the Tanabata arc where little Amane says that Tsukasa will get violent if interrupted.

However, in the official translations it says that he’ll throw a fit. Y’know, like an excitable little kid.

It also says that he’s playing katanuki, and he LOVES katanuki, so we can assume he wouldn’t want to be interrupted. (Also, Hanako loves katanuki too!)

But other than that, we don’t really see them being brothers in the past, do we. Right…?

WRONG! Something I completely overlooked before were the volume sleeve illustrations.

Also, in this (^) illustration, I’d like to point out that the Tsukasa’s radio and Hanako’s kokeshi doll are sitting on the chest of drawers!

Something to note in these illustrations (and also the Tanabata arc) is that Amane is happy and there are no signs of bruising anywhere either. So at least as little kids, no form of abuse is present.

Also, something else I noticed:

He says that “WE believe it’s real.” Tsuchigomori said that he doesn’t have friends, and he’s obviously not referring to Tsuchigomori here. Tsukasa is the only one left he could be referring to in this “we”. They both were enthusiastic about this rock that supposedly fell from the sky, ever since they were four.

I feel like I’m grasping at straws in this part, but why would Amane include a third party unless they were important? Especially when it comes to something so sentimental to him.

Next, we have the picture from the Kamome school orientation.

Nothing here either. Just the two holding hands, and Amane is still bright-eyed. Note that they are alone. We know the Minamoto siblings live alone, but Mitsuba and Nene both have parents with them. The Yugi twins don’t. Another theory was that Amane’s parents were abusing him and they just favored Tsukasa, but this can allow us to presumably scratch that.

So that means any harm to Amane happened somewhere between here and his death. So, let’s make a time frame, hmm? We know Amane died around age 13. What age is he here…? Well we know he just entered Middle school, the first level Kamome provides for. What age…

Wow. That lines up perfectly.

This leads into the next major part of the theory.

We all know that Kamome is incredibly “haunted.” Filled to the brim with supernaturals. So, what if these two got caught up in supernatural business and things went south?

Originally this was a theory on proving Tsukasa wasn’t the one abusing Amane, but now I’m possibly considering that it was him. However, he wasn’t fully there, or something caused him to go mad.

In this part, Hanako is reciting a part of Mori Ogai’s “Takasebune”. (Credit to @nanabansama for finding that out!) In the story, a man is being exiled for a crime he committed. He seems kind so the police escort is wondering what he did. Turns out, he and his little brother were orphaned when they were young. At some point after growing up and working together, his brother fell ill. He came home one day to find out that his brother tried to kill himself so he wouldn’t be a burden. The man had finished the job for his brother, essentially putting him out of his misery.

We can draw some parallels to Hanako from this.

The man has a little brother that he killed

Absence of parents, this makes it likely that Hanako and Tsukasa’s parents are dead.

The man is being punished for what he’s done and is fully accepting of what has to happen to him as a consequence. In the man’s case, being exiled, and in Hanako’s case, being mediator for human and supernatural relations.

Perhaps from this we can draw that Hanako killed Tsukasa to put him out of his misery.

(Also, something really interesting, Ogai is spelled 鴎外. 鴎 is pronounced “Ou”, however alone it is pronounced “KAMOME”! While we’re on the subject, kamome means seagull. I had no idea why the school would be named that, but I would not be surprised if this were the reason!)

@daikon-senpai has pointed out that we can see a reoccurring “hole” in Hanako’s stomach. There’s a high likeliness that he killed himself after killing Tsukasa.

There’s a traditional method of suicide called seppuku, where one would slit their stomach to bleed out (though they would usually have someone cut their neck for efficiency and to minimize suffering). One of the reasons one would commit seppuku were if someone committed a crime or had brought shame on themselves. Both of which would be a likely reason Amane would have killed himself, and he even still carries intense guilt now as Hanako.

[UPDATE: I had made a post about how it appears that Hanako pulls his knife out from his stomach, something absent from the anime. Some of the earlier instances can look like he’s pulling out from his gakuran, so here’s a more obvious example:

@shweshishweh and @spades-queen have additionally pointed out that in some official art Hanako is depicted with a bandage over his stomach and Tsukasa with a bandage over his heart (or a heart that is damaged, as shown in the Valentine’s Day art).

With this information, not only can we assume Hanako died from wounds on his stomach, but also that Tsukasa likely died from an injury to his heart.

END OF UPDATE]

Speaking of guilt-

It’s believed that when Hanako cries while confronting Tsukasa, he’s afraid because he’s with his abuser again. I doubt this is true at all. He hasn’t cried since the Mitsuba Arc, though he still locks up briefly.

Obviously Hanako holds a ton of guilt from what he did to Tsukasa, so of course he would freeze up when the dude comes out of no where and is like, “Long time no see!!” He’s being confronted with what he did, front and center. No amount of jokes can distract him from it. There’s no avoiding it. After Tsukasa had entered the picture for a while, Hanako stops reacting so strongly, as he’s more prepared for it. (This was pointed out to me by @trish-chan!)

It’s also possible that Tsukasa is acting the messed-up way he was before he died, and Hanako is realizing that death really didn’t free him from it. He’s mortified at what’s happened to his brother.

Another thing she’s pointed out was that currently, Tsukasa hasn’t hurt Hanako. Not physically, at least. If he was the one hurting him then, why not now? It’s not like he’s hiding being violent in front of people. Let’s see… he turned Mitsuba into a monstrosity, nearly killed Kou, ripped out No. 3’s heart, totally would have turned Nene into a bloody pulp, killed the pufferfish into a bloody mess, and he’s finger painted with blood (who knows where that came from) among various other psychotic things.

Last thing I have here is a kind of lose connection, but worth including, nonetheless.

Only Tsukasa and No. 6 are creepy black mokke. I can’t bring myself to believe that AidaIro would do that for no reason. I wouldn’t question it if it were only Tsukasa, but now No. 6 is in the mix.

This actually made me think of possible connections that Tsukasa has to No. 6. After all, who has a giant gaping hole to the far shore and has messed with someone’s head so hard they basically tried to murder their childhood friend? Is it possible that No. 6 did something to Tsukasa, for whatever reason?

We don’t know enough about No. 6 currently to really be conclusive about this, though. Could both of them been corrupted somehow?

UPDATE ON THIS PART: Since I’ve first posted this, more chapters with No. 6, or Shinigami, have been released. While I have even more doubts that he and Tsukasa have any direct connection than before, I still think there are some shared aspects. Sumire’s seal is probably the most major revelation, now that it’s pretty much confirmed that Tsukasa is a yorishiro. If we assume Tsukasa is Hanako’s yorishiro, then that’s something in common with Sumire and Shinigami. But then wouldn’t Hanako be a black mokke?

This makes me think that that particular connection isn’t the shared aspect Tsukasa and Shinigami have. Perhaps it’s just something that hasn’t been revealed yet (or I haven’t picked up on lol). Something else interesting of note is the fact that Tsukasa has been completely absent this entire arc. His only sort-of presence is through Natsuhiko, who we still don’t know the motives of. We also don’t know how the Tsukasa+Sakura+Natsuhiko+Mitsuba quartet have been dealing with the Severance.

So, there are a lot of questions yet to be answered so I’m not dismissing this idea yet.

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So, in a nutshell, this theory is: Hanako and Tsukasa were good brothers, until they got caught up with supernaturals after entering Kamome. This may have caused Tsukasa to go crazy, and hurt Amane at the same time. This leads to Amane killing Tsukasa. Possibly out of self-defense or putting him out his misery. Following this, Amane kills himself. ~50 years later, present Kamome Academy. Tsukasa makes his way to the near shore and either gets corrupted or was never freed from whatever ailed him when he was alive at the school.

I’m realizing now that this would also explain this:

“Tsukasa is not himself. I know that. So I forgive it.” But we all know that Amane/Hanako is too cryptic and secretive to actually say that.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #jshk spoilers #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #tbhk spoilers #tsukasa yugi #hanako kun #amane yugi #hahaha yes i think i stan tsukasa

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thebadchoicemachine · 4 years ago

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Yall want some MYCT Magnus Archive Headcanons I may or may not draw? (Pt 1?)

I will try to include individual trigger warnings at the beginning of each explanation as much as I can think of. They may seem a little overboard but better safe than sorry. Remember, TMA is a horror podcast.

(ALSO, EVERYTHING HERE IS /RP. EVEN WHEN I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT A ROLEPLAY VIDEO PLEASE KNOW I’M MAKING UP A CHARACTER BASED OFF THEIR CHANNEL AND AM NOT ACTUALLY ACCUSING THEM OF BEING A SERVANT TO A MALEVOLENT FEAR ENTITY.)

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Philza

1. An End Avatar (TW, Numb/Apathetic Mindset)

He’s a reaper. An immortal. You only live once but life’s become, not meaningless, more like desaturated. He doesn’t care in a cheery “oh well” way. He’s pretty chill about it. He’s extremely chill about it. He is disturbingly chill about it. At first it seems great, he’s just a nice chill guy! No evil schemes or vicious plots. Just spending time with him seems to calm your nerves. And then you spend more time and you begin to understand why, things aren’t as important as you make them seem. You catastrophize a lot. Then a catastrophe happens and you’re not... upset. Why... why would you be? It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. It won’t in a hundred years and it doesn’t now. would end the same anyways. And then he starts to be less and less relatable. Why is he so happy? Why does he bother to go meet people and smile and eat or laugh or frown. You can’t belive you ever complained that he was so mild about everything, any amount is more than is worth. Why bother? Why... bother...

2. A Vast Avatar (TW, Heights?)

He just fucking tosses people into the sky instead of being upset with them. Do anything he doesn’t like? SWOOSH. It’s to the point it’s not even a malicious thing, it’s just routine. He gets up, goes to the store, picks up some groceries, sends a person who cut in line to a void of dusk with swirling black clouds where you fall so long you can’t tell if you’re flying up or down or left or right, maybe gets some mints, goes home, puts groceries away, does the dishes, etc.

(the rest of the cast below the cut)

Tubbo

1. A Corruption Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Lungs, Swarming Insects, Implied Murder.)

He has bees in his lungs and he loves them very much. If he ever gets something stuck in his throat or has water go down the wrong pipe he will FEAK OUT. He often has to cough up honey (and sometimes bees). It’s... a process. He just sits over a bucket or jar and hacks his little heart out. He sometimes saves the honey and offers it to people. Amazingly, his friends never take him up on the offer. Unsuspecting people who don’t know the.. supernatural origin of the honey find they have some... unpleasant side effects. (Bees. The side effect is bees. Specifically ones trying to fly down their throat.) Oh well, being a part of a hive isn’t for everyone. The really unfortunate ones make good fertilizer for his flowers, though! His lungs are literally a hive. If you tried to listen to his heartbeat you’d hear buzzing. He will sometimes hold flowers over his open mouth to let the bees get some easy pollon. He doesn’t usually actively seek out “prey” but when he is trying to feed on that good old fear he’ll act super sweet, too sweet, and then open his mouth and let the bees fly out. It’s very creepy but to him it’s just funny. (Also, all of the bees have names and he has a funeral for every single one that get’s killed.)

Quackity

1. A Spiral Avatar

I- I mean have you seen a single one of his videos?

2. A Stranger Avatar (TW, Unreality Depersonalization )

He mocks people as their own reflection, hopping from pond to mirror to camera to scream at them (sometimes literally) that they do not know who they are. It starts off subtle (Wasn’t your hair a bit longer? Weren’t your eyes a shade lighter? Did you always have that birthmark?”) but grows and changes until it gets to the point you stand in front of a mirror and every time you blink you look completely different. You feel your face, you look at your hands, but it’s no help. They change too fast. Your pictures change too, every single post on all your social media looks like different people posted it- wait... did you always have this platform? You don’t remember ever using it before. You have so many posts... none of them match up. You throw your phone away, noticing you never had the case on it. You turn to real photos for help but they are none. Of course not. You feel like just giving up as you shuffle through photo after photo, you don’t know what you really look like, so what? But then something catches your eye. A photo of you in the 5th grade concert. You don’t remember going to that school. You’ve never played an instrument, have you? Something screams yes and no at the same time. You throw the box down and grab your phone. You need to call someone. You pace throughout a house you recognize less and less searching for clues, reminders, as the phone rings. Your best friend answers. You throw the phone down again. You don’t have a best friend. You’ve never really been one for friends. No, that’s not true, you had a few really good ones but you’ve grown apart. No, that’s not true, you only have one real friend, your boyfriend. No, you don’t have a boyfriend, just a close friend. No, you have many friends just none that are close enough for this bullshit. You stop. No. No you don’t like swearing, do you? Do you? Who are you? Who are you? Your reflection laughs. It’s eating popcorn and making you do a stupid dance. What a bitch.

3. A Flesh Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Faces and Skin)

You’re a piece of meat, he’s a piece of meat, everyone’s meat. Like Chicken Nuggets.He’ll steal your face right off it’s skull and dance with one in each hand. He’ll put words in your mouth like you’re a puppet with bones. He’ll make you say the dumbest shit because it’s funny. Even when it’s obviously not YOU talking.

Technoblade

1. A Hunt Avatar (TW, Stalking/Genocide)

Many people have suggested a slaughter avatar but I don’t see it. Yeah, he kills (blood for the blood god and all that) but I don’t see it. The Slaughter is about the moment. The unplanned snap. The sudden outbursts. I don’t see that in techno. You know what I DO see that also involves quite a bit of bloodlust? The chase. The planning, the target, the unstoppable dread and panic that overtakes his victims once they realize who is after them. The power. Calculated genocide of victim after victim. The HUNT. My two pain points of evidence: His potato war videos, that time he took over the world, and his stalking speech to Quackity. Go watch an animatic of Technoblade chasing down Quackity and tell me he is not a Hunt Avatar.

Wilbur

1. A Desolation Avatar (TW, Abuse/Torture)

Everything he touches burns and hurts. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes on accident, but either way he’s caught up in enjoying the drama. I’m gonna be honest, my main inspiration was the Villainbur aesthetic but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Look at nearly any of his 100 player videos; designed to create maximum pain for hs enjoyment. Even the Dream SMP where he was mostly a good guy and more tragic than anything else fits. Maybe that Villain Arc was his first dabble as an avatar of destruction and pain. Even making his own father kill him could have been along the lines of “how can I milk as much despair out of this as possible.”

TommyInnit

1. A Slaughter Avatar (TW, Straight Up Murder)

Now HERE is a character right up that slaughter’s alley. No thoughts, not plans, just unbridled passion and rage and violence. He just stabs people whenever he feels like it (which is often) sometimes just with sticks. Like a rabid raccoon just jumps straight at people’s faces out of nowhere, always starting shit and stoking fires to make people angry at each other.

2. A Buried Avatar (TW, small tight spaces)

Tunnels and caves and sticks and spots. He’ll burry you under a mountain, he’ll lock you in a tree. Dirt man. His usual MO is trapping people under an avalanche of stones and rocks and rubble. Basically just lava casting your bones. Everything he makes is ugly but not just in a ”that’s literally a pile of rocks in the middle of the road” way in a bit of an indescribable “looking at that makes me feel like I’m breathing in straight gravel.”

Bonus: Ranboo as a Dark Avatar/Victim. He is not a willing avatar like Jude or Helen, he’s more along the lines of Oliver and Jon.

#dream smp au #dsmp tma au

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mihidecet · 4 years ago

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SBI d&d AU: Tommy (2)

I’m back! This is the second part of Tommy’s POV for the au, and it’s directly connected to the previous part!

There is a third part coming, probably in a couple of weeks! ((I’ll be a bit busy due to Writober starting today, but I really want to keep adding to this AU! Also, if you maybe want to check out what I’ll be posting … You’ll find them on AO3, even tho they’re not mcyt related))

Also!! Soon we’ll have another character sheet! A special thanks to @spout1nk for bouncing off ideas with me about Techno’s, which will come in the future!

And as always a special thank you to @whatimevendoinhere , who is an amazing and incredible friend and also a super poggers artist!

There are slight trigger warnings for this chapter: there’s characters getting injured twice, and mentions of blood. There’s also a brief example of d&d level of violence. Let me know if I should add more or underline possible triggering parts!

Thank you all for readign and for all the wonderful support, all the follows and likes and comments! It really means a lot and it gives me so much encouragement to keep writing!

For the next couple of months, rumors of the kid that beat Technoblade - the shadow thief, the most infamous assassin of the realm - spread like wildfire.

At first, it’s just Tommy coming up with stories.

He vaguely mentions besting Techno in hand-to-hand combat, then says he’s had it since they met and it’s the reason why he was allowed into the group. One time, he states he stole it from under his nose. Another time, he tricked Techno into drinking a sleeping potion and pocketed it as he was unconscious.

His personal favourite is: one time, as they were sparring, he backflipped over Techno’s head and grabbed the knife from his very hand; Techno was so impressed by his moves that he gifted it to him out of respect. Phil wheezed so hard when he heard it that he lost his voice for almost half a day, and because of that nobody believed his story, but it was still worth - just for hearing Phil laugh.

Then one night, in a squallid tavern, Will sings the song of the young warlock who tricked the thief, sold his soul just to steal a knife, and it kicks off a whole new wave of rumors.

And everything goes perfectly well.

Everyone focuses on the rumors, the stories. Their popularity increases, their job offers multiply.

Tommy gets to show off half of his present, and get to keep what’s really meaningful all to himself.

It works perfectly well, up until it doesn’t.

With fame comes a peculiar kind of danger, one that is born from the mind of really, really dumb people that like to think that if they’re prepared enough, they might have a shot at defeating them - as if an ancient black dragon hadn’t already tried his best against them and failed.

Still, this one particular time, the whole team realises quickly that whoever is trying to get to them has come prepared.

They attack in the middle of the day, which is unusual but efficient: everyone in the team can see in the dark, so attacking at night would be useless, or even detrimental if whoever was attacking had to rely on torches.

They also attack in the middle of the street of a crowded town. Techno and Phil had realised they were being followed a couple of days prior, and they’d decided to head to the nearest village in hope of covering their tracks, or at least buy themselves some time to find out how many and who was tracking them, assuming whomever it was wouldn’t attack them out in the open.

Instead the first knife flies directly towards Phil during a late morning, while they’re looking for a place to eat. Phil dodges, then curses and raises a hand to still catch the dagger, which would have otherwise hit a farmer he had been talking with - blood splatters on the poor man’s face as Phil yells at everyone to get away.

With the crazed crowd of a Monday market, most of the team has to restrain themselves. Tommy can’t really summon a demon in public, Phil won’t be able to transform into a bear and Wilbur will have to rely on his swordmanship, instead of destroying his enemies’ eardrums and minds.

Still, it’s not like they don’t have anything else at their disposal.

The Tommy of two years prior would have never been able to survive, but while his stories of beating Techno are mostly false, the two of them have been sparring for a long time. Techno is an incredibly strict teacher, but that just means that he has more control of where his spheres of fiery eldritch power land.

He sees Phil direct a handful of people away from the danger, while Wilbur makes sure to attract most of their enemies’ attention by hurling insults at them - one of them stumbles back, hands moving up to clutch at their head as Will’s words echo inside their mind.

There’s a flash of colour, then a figure falls to the ground: Techno stands behind them for a moment before throwing one of his daggers at an incoming enemy.

Seeing him fight is always an incredible spectacle, but this time Tommy doesn’t allow himself to be distracted.

There’s nowhere to hide in the big, empty square they’re fighting in, and there are still innocent people trying to escape. Phil is expending spells left, right and centre, creating walls and shooting out healing magic in order to prevent people from dying and getting targeted - Tommy sees a figure jump in front of a cobbler, blade drawn, and then lock up, muscles freezing as Phil takes hold of his body with a clutched fist and a shaking arm. Techno swoops by a moment later, taking care of the paralyzed fool before disappearing again.

There are enemies appearing from all sides, and it gets more and more clear that this is not only a well organized group but also a group with enough money to spend on people willing to be cannon fodder for them.

Tommy keeps his distance, shoots anyone that approaches him and picks off enemies that threaten his teammates (family) whenever he can. Each time someone falls to the ground, he hears a joyful whoop ring inside his head, usually followed by an exclamation of “another one for my collection!”, and feels his strength increasing - small wisps of flames circling around him, and he knows his eyes are glowing after the fifth one.

It takes some time - there are a few moments when Tommy knows that if he weren’t so focused he would be getting bored - but eventually the number of goons approaching starts to dwindle, and then stops. Tommy only needs a quick look at Wilbur’s heaving chest, Phil’s limp and Techno’s tired frame to decide he’s going to get up close and personal to finish the last three remaining enemies.

One would think that someone, seeing a half-demon glowing with fire and shooting spheres of dark red energy, would back off with the rest of his retreating friends. Apparently that is not the case, as one of them is dumb enough to try his hand at fighting him the moment he sees him approaching the group.

And the thing is, normally Tommy wouldn’t even blink and incinerate the man, but he has been casting a lot more spells than usual in order to keep everything at bay, and he is in the process of shooting a ball of fiery energy at another dumbass cornering Wilbur - who’s clutching at his rapier with both hands, arms shaking with exhaustion.

So the attack comes out of nowhere, from his left, and he only notices the man when it’s too late: one moment he’s there, the next there’s a thin, vertical gash running from the edge of his elbow up to his shoulder.

The pain is there, but not much - he’s young, yes, but he’s also been an adventurer for a while - but then he feels a small pressure alleviating from around his upper arm.

Oh no. No no nononono-

His mind is suddenly filled with shock. Then rage, as he unleashes the ball of energy he’d been in the middle of casting right into that bastard’s face with a loud snarl - one for him, and one just a moment later straight to the leg of the bastard threatening Wilbur.

But he’s not even aware of that because this guy *just broke Techno’s friendship bracelet*.

The stranger falls to the ground silently, lifelessly, but Tommy’s already sitting down on the ground, frantically tearing at his cut open sleeve as he mutters curses to himself, tears of frustration pricking at his eyes.

A moment later a pair of hands are on his, and he looks up at Phil’s worried but reassuring eyes.

“Don’t worry Tommy, it’s just a scratch-”

“No no no you don’t get it! He- he cut the bracelet!” Tommy protests; he hates how his voice pitches up and how Phil’s eyes soften, but at that moment Techno and Wilbur join them, also looking worriedly down at his bleeding arm, and Tommy slips the bracelet free of his arm. The onyx bead is still hanging on by a thread, and the young warlock has to carefully keep the whole thing in the palm of his hand - the edges where it got cut are already undoing themselves and Tommy is so *angry* about it-

“You kept it?” Techno asks, having the gall to sound surprised, and Tommy can’t help but sputter in indignation, waving his injured hand around - because his non injured one is cradling the broken bracelet, despite the frustrated hum Phil lets out as he prevents him from cleaning the wound.

“Of course I did! What did you think, that I threw away your gift?! I might be rude but I’m not an asshole!"

"Point taken.” He mumbles back, and after a moment of quiet awkwardness Wilbur elbows him in the side. The two of them share one of those silent eye-conversations that they love to take part in, which Tommy is absolutely not jealous of. Then Wilbur claps his hands together and announces he’s going to call the guards and make sure no townsperson got injured.

Techno lets himself sit down silently as Phil grabs his arm and starts cleaning up the gash. The thief lets out a tired sigh: Tommy can see from the corner of his eye how tired he is - being the only one of the team used to up close, one on one fighting in urban streets, probably made him feel like he had to compensate for all three of them. Which is true, he indeed had, but Tommy knows he’s probably more tired from the adrenaline and anxiety that though caused than the actual fight.

“… I’m sorry it got cut up. I thought if I kept it here it would be safe.” Tommy comments at one point, while Phil is unrolling a gauze from his healing kit - the fact that he’s not using magic to close the cut is a testament to how hard that fight was. Or maybe he’s just being cautious, in case the goons change their mind and decide to come back, or in case there are more coming soon.

“I mean, we can always make another one.” Tommy’s head snaps up so fast that he almost gets whiplash.

“We can?” He asks, unable to mask the excitement and awe in his voice - it’s worth it, because it does bring a small smile to Techno’s face. Phil finished tying the bandage around his arm at that moment, letting out a huff of breath and standing up.

“After we’ve gone back to the tavern and eaten. We’re laying low for a while.” The elf states, staring both of them down as he offers Tommy a hand to help him up.

“Alright, dad.” Techno sasses, rolling his eyes, but Phil’s face just lights up and the thief instantly looks pained and regretful.

“Right, I forgot that’s not an insult to you.” Phil’s grin just gets more brighter as he pats the thief’s back and nods towards where Wilbur is approaching them, followed by a handful of guards.

“Come on, sons, let’s go get your brother.”

#sbi au #sbi dnd au #dnd au #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #philza #ph1lza #technoblade

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bloodyspade0000 · 4 years ago

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30-day knb challenge: Day 1- Favorite Male character

↳ Haizaki Shougo

I am not justifying Haizaki's behaviour. I think he needs a tall glass of respect woman juice and therapy. This is just meant to explain why he is my favourite character and help you better understand him as a character. Do not send hate or take my words out of context. You will be reported, deleted and cancelled. Thank you and enjoy. :)

My favourite character is Haizaki Shougo *dodges tomatoes* a lot of people in the fandom hate this guy for many reasons. It's kind of funny how many people hate him and the amount of hate he gets just for existing. Like bruh; he's sixteen, leave him alone. 😂

His whole existence is just sad. He was literally created to be hated.

Like straight up, Tadatoshi Fujimaki even admitted that he hated Haizaki. Haizaki's sole purpose of existing is to make the Generation of Miracles look better even though they’re just as problematic as he. No one is fucking perfect and is about time people woke the fuck up and realized it. Your faves are problematic move the fuck on.

Yes, the Miracles are redeemable but so is Haizaki. Yet, unlike the Miracles, he does not get redeemable. No, he disappears and is never seen again. Like bitch, what the fuck!? if you’re gonna introduce a character to only have them disappear for a long time and either have them show up again or just never mention them again. Wasting the potential they had to be a very good character or not having them redeem themselves while the other characters who were just as fucking problematic get a fucking redemption arc because they’re fucking main characters!? What’s the point of that character even existing in the first place? What kind of bullshit is that? Just to have them exist to make the main characters look good? How the fuck does that make sense? Like where is my Haizaki redemption arc? Do I have to write it on my own? I will write it. I am writing one.

Haizaki is the only character I could relate to. Being second best, struggling to find somewhere to fit in and overshadowed and replaced by someone everyone thinks is better than you. It's fucking depressing, okay? You spend your whole life thinking you’re not good enough, and it hurts. I don't feel like going too deep into it because I don't owe you a detailed explanation of my trauma, okay?. So I'll save that for my fics where I self-project half of it onto Haizaki. It’s a coping mechanism, okay? Therapy is fucking expensive.

The anime ruined his whole character, got rid of his whole arc and shorted it down, and made him worse than he really is.

A post explaining how the anime did him dirty and goes more in-depth about his character

I am not trying to justify his actions, i.e. him manhandling Alex and beating Himura up. He does terrible shit. We all do lousy shit sometimes, but that doesn't make us bad people. Making mistakes is a part of being human, and we're supposed to hold people accountable for their actions and help them realize what they’re doing is wrong, allowing them to grow and change. Not condemn them and ostracize them, which leads to isolation and a lot of psychological trauma and self-hatred, and as someone who has dealt with—is still dealing with all three. It is not fun. It makes living painful. Highly unrecommended.

Haizaki does not have a positive role model in his life nor anybody he can turn to, everyone has already given up on him. Even Nijimura and Kuroko didn’t even try to help him, being more focused on the Miracles. (Yes, I know kuroko tried to stop him from throwing his basketball shoes away, but that doesn’t fucking count because after that Kuroko just gave up on Haiazki too). Haizaki has probably grown grew up knowing only violence and not a single ounce of kindness, turning him into the bitter and angry little boy he is.

Haizaki had so much potential. But instead of making him a great villain that potential was WASTED on fucking Kise.

Also, the Kaijo vs Seirin match in the winter cup was completely useless because Kise already got redeemed and he literally got no character development from it.

And Seirin was gonna fucking win anyways because duh thier the main characters. 🙄

Now some headcanons I think about a lot:

1. He gets abused. Some psychological behavioural consequences of child abuse are unhealthy sexual practices and juvenile delinquency, and Haizaki exhibits all three which are some external behaviours of most (NOT ALL) male abuse victims. Haizaki's a womanizer, aggressive, hostile and violent. Yet, he backs down when someone stronger than him comes around and puts him in his place i.e. Aomine and Nijimura.

a factsheet explaining the long term consequences of child abuse and neglect

How to help a friend dealing with family abuse or neglect

How to Handle Abuse

2. He's a victim. And when you're a victim, you either become angry and cynical with everything and everyone around you, swearing never to be a victim again and struggle with gaining back control of your life. Not wanting anyone to see you being vulnerable because being vulnerable makes you weak. Being weak makes you shatter. You always shatter like glass, cutting yourself every time you pick up broken pieces, watching as blood trickles through your fingers.

Your body is constantly on high alert. The default is flight or fight—survival to the fittest.

Or you bite your lip and keep your head down, bottling everything inside and looking for escapes or seeking validation. You want to be wanted and loved because you struggle with loving and accepting yourself. There's always a voice in the back of your head telling you, you're not good enough or that it's your fault. That everything is your fault. Self-hatred and self-doubt are your tormentors.

Or it's a combination between both—a constant struggle.

And I believe Haizaki portrays both from the way he acts and presents himself. Especially since his motto is literally "Survival of the fittest,” and he had once told Kuroko, " there are bad guys and then the really scary people," or something along those lines, which I believe he is talking from experience. You learn from your experiences. They either make you or break you.

3. He's touch-starved.

What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved?

4. He's bisexual and has a lot of internalized homophobia. I can just feel his internalized homophobia rolling off of him. Bruh, I just know cuz I am bisexual, and I have struggled with internalized homophobia and still sadly struggle with it cuz I grew up surrounded by homophobic people.

I still live with them. 😭

Also, we live in a society that thinks straight is the default.

What internalized homophobia is.

5. His sexual awakening was probably Aomine or Kise. Could be both 😂?

6. He cries himself to sleep every night.

7. He's observant and a great judge of character. It's a fact. This guy literally predicted the downfall of the Miracles. Straight up warned Kuroko too. Too bad Kuroko didn't listen to him.

8. He's hilarious. When he first appeared in the manga, he literally called Himura a loser, lol. XD

9. He's a closeted softie and a total tsundere.

10. doesn't know how to react to kindness and will think you're threatening him or will feel really awkward and uncomfortable but will cover it up with his scowl, or he'll have a breakdown.

11. needs a lot of reassurance and head pats

12. swears a lot. Has no filter.

13. His bother is in the yakuza or some high position of power, and he feels inferior to him. It also explains why Haizaki gets away with things because he would have been kicked out of school if his bother wasn't either-or. I'm talking about his bother being in the yakuza, lol. XD

14. He and Momoi dated for a while but broke up on a mutual understanding that thier relationship just didn't work out. They're best friends and hang out sometimes.

15. Haizaki's good with kids and just genuinely likes them. He would be a great father and try his best to raise his kids right.

16. He gets sick really easily

17. He's clingy

18. He has no friends, mainly because he doesn't want people to get close to him because he's afraid of getting hurt again. Also, everyone in knb hates him.

19. He watches cartoons cuz he was never allowed to watch them when he was a kid. His childhood is trash, okay?

20. He hides in the closet because that's where he feels safe the most—rhetorically and literally.

21. Sleep-deprived and only runs on caffeine and spite.

List of fics that portray Haizaki better than the anime:

Heavy is the head by extrastellar

Idle Hands by DarkWoods

Another Chance by regretting my username_ (777imou_offline367)

What Matters is that We're Together by StrawFairy

06:00:00 of Haizaki Shougo (4) by ReiClien

This Is Happening by SharkGirl

What is Love by voices_in_my_head

A completely uncalled catharsis by oddball

One-shots

intertwined, under a spell by kornevable

ԼƠƔƐ & ӇΛƬƐ by Arthuria_PenDragon

delirium by extrastellar

me with you by doublejoint

Turn My Camera On by wordsliketeeth

At Summer's End by doublejoint

Taste by Hibari1_san

I Can't Get Enough of You by HisDarkSecret

I don't care if it hurts by llowsywriter

Ashes by doublejoint

broken things by lowsywriter

Series:

Finally found each other by suzakukills

This Is Happening Universe by SharkGirl

DNA by flowerway

My WIPS:

Isn’t it lovely?

Broken Crown

Love me, Love me, Love me

Grey skies

Rabbit hole

A playlist of songs that I believe fit Haizaki

Kuroko’s basketball’s manga

In conclusion, You can hate Haizaki as much as you want. But just keep it to yourself. Haizaki is my baby and I will protect him with my life.

#kuroko no basket #knb #haizaki shougo #long post #rant #favorite character #knb 30 day challenge #favourite male character #headcanons #one shots #fanfiction #rec list #manga #tw swearing #tw mentions of abuse

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riisinaakka-draws · 4 years ago

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1st part of my old Black Sails scraps and doodles from 2016–2021. Not in any particular order.

This post has a glimpse to one of my BS binders with the most less-effort-and-crack-idea doodles. Also lots of puns and the Walrus crew shenanigans. Flint is a dick and Billy is tall and Silver keeps bringing the parrot into canon one way or another.

And of course, please, do not steal and repost elsewhere! But if you do get inspired, feel free to make your own interpretations! :)

I put them under the cut, because this is a very long post!

Puns with “Black Sails” lead of course to all kinds of things, one of which ended up becoming the Full Walrus Speed! comic (2018). Here I was thinking how to convey “the scarf sails” with Silver as he sneaks out at night to test Flint’s words (and how the wind keeps blowing “the sail” onto his face) although it didn’t end up in the finished comic.

There’s also Eleanor holding a chart with Vane’s name and “black sales” as he wasn’t doing so well. The Death is sailing a variation the trash raft with “black sails” as it did in this other art: The Death following the Walrus (2016).

There’s also a comic with Flint, Thomas and Abigail’s letter, but that’s gonna be it’s own post when I finish it (but wanted to mention it here as it was related to these). It includes “Block Spoils”, “Block Soils”, and 2 x “Bleak Seals” ;)

“I’m going to make you the Princes of the New World!” and some of the Walrus crew as “princes”. Flint made them paper crowns and these were the very first BS doodles I ever drew, or at least one of the firsts (no date written tho). This was done right after I watched the first episode and when I got the spark that this show was going to be something... truly spectacular.

Also I hadn’t drawn anything for months (closer to a year) and even holding a pen and the thought of drawing anything felt almost nauseating at the time (I was crawling through depression) but I just had to do something with the excitement. And doodling ended up helping me a lot to get back on my feet, so thousands thanks, Flint’s bloody feral face (and billion thanks to Black Sails fans who have encouraged me during all these years!).

Around early season 3 by the looks of it. Doodling cool Flint with a felt tip and then the parrot and goofy Silver photobombed. The parrot is parroting Flint of course. I was wondering if they were going to include the bird in the show and this is how it manifested.

Season 1. “Framing problems” inspired by the scene with Flint and Billy (although in the doodle there’s also Silver’s top of the head)

...because the height difference and I wondered if it was hard to get them fit into the same frame lol

I love Silver’s face here and the sock-parrot although I didn’t even bother with Flint here other than the pose. This lead to the art: “Let Me Tell You A Story...” (2018) although the composition changed. Tbh I like this version a bit more in retrospect but I coudn’t make it work with the hammock/pallet at the time... Silver is trying to cheer up Flint.

Half way through of this post, btw!

Alternative scenes for this art: ”Neverland!crack!AU!” (2017) which features Captain Silver Hook, Billy Pan and Ginger Bell.

The texts are the bolded parts:

Gates dreamed it (he wakes up in cold sweat and is like NO.)

Israel Hands as Smee, and another one where Dufresne is Smee. Silver as Captain Hook as in the art too, although here it’s very obscure.

Billy as Peter Pan + lost boys and Silver saying “I thought you never grow up” and it ended up in the final piece too, but a bit differently.

Some texts in the lower left corner: “Robert Stevenson and Bay roll in their graves” (uh..Michael Bay? He’s not dead. I guess I added Bay later and lost the thought anyway)

“The hyena guy laughed when I was doodling these at 2 am” (I had a weird neighbour at the time and he’d randomly laugh like a hyena at nights and it happened again while I, too, was sniggering at my late night silly doodles because I couldn’t sleep). I didn’t bother to start cropping this snippet out :)

“Flint as Tinkerbell” and “Only one emotion per time, needs to be believed” (in). Here’s a close up:

The other doodle is Flint sleeping, because instead of Mr. Gates, maybe Flint dreamt this weird au with the faces of people around him. Silver (or Billy? Gates?) is trying to wake him up and he mumbles “Mmmh, NO, don’t throw food around” (this was a nod to the movie “Hook” and the Lost Boys waisting food in that one dinner scene).

“No, I’m the fairy!” (I can’t remember was I thinking of someone else to be Tinkerbell at the time or maybe it was because I was also thinking Flint as Hook? but instead he “wanted” to be Ginger Bell in his dream instead so...) and “Fuck you England crocodile!” (who’d be the antagonist in this au).

Mr. Gates: “Look at my lad!”

“The reason why Billy didn’t have a beard in early seasons.”

...was because otherwise he might have been pressured to style it like his father figure, lol. Also *sob* with Gates gone, Billy’s beard became wild in the show as the time goes on (remember beard of betrayl?).

Flint, after the fight with Singleton, here sleeping peacefully with a nosebleed. The text (someone saying it): “Gross.”

Flint: “I think I was in heaven for a sec” (because he bumbed into Billy). “It felt like hitting a brick wall”. Texts: Flint being a dick (and blind from blood-loss), and Billy thinking (and getting the idea for the legendary Black Spot early on): “I have been marked... with a red spot“ (and it’s his doom).

In the left corner: “favourite Billy Bones face”

inspired by this one:

And the last two doodles for this bunch:

“Someone get me a glass!” ... and the aftermath of Silver shouting for a spyglass and of course the Walrus crew providing “a glass”... which here is an hourglass, a wine glass and another one, a magnifying glass, a mirror (looking glass) although at first it was supposed to be an ice cream (Swedish word, because hey, there might be some Swedish pirates on the crew etc..) and some one bringing a glass of water but making it fancier with a coctail umbrella. For their beloved new quartermaster, you know. Oh yeah, and someone threw Dufresne’s glasses at him but they got stuck on the rope.

Aaaand doodles for “A Tattoo Boom on board the Walrus”. Everybody wants a walrus tattoo and there ends up being all kinds of variations on board. Cute ones, sexy ones, creepy ones, and so on, all featuring a walrus in some form xD

For a long time I was going to draw this properly but never really got into it, so feel free to draw bunch of pirates with cool Walrus tattoos if you need something to draw! (or need an excuse to practise anatomy, as I was planning to do...lol) :D

Thanks for reading, I hope you had fun <3

#black sails doodles #tag for Block Spoils doodles #(<- in case u wanna black list these)#from 2016-2020 but mostly from the early years #I always draw the first idea doodles on a cheap copy paper so I won't stress about getting things right #and... yeah it shows xD #recently I tried to organize my wip folders to get some kind of plan in which order to draw and finish things #and kept finding these kinds of doodles that still make me laugh but also agonize as simply cannot finish them all in proper manner #so I decided to share some of them and also have a look back into the early days xD #or how the doodles haven't actually gotten any better (and aren't meant to) but the art I post is just more refined these days

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only--you · 3 years ago

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❥ ♡

The Baptist ✰

-·=»‡«=·- 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 7 -·=»‡«=·-

Warnings/ Blood, Violence, strong language, substance abuse, choking, needles, insinuated sexual references, and potential smut. Viewer discretion advised.

A/N - Heyy!! I’m back with chapter seven! Just want to give a, heavy content warning, I know they’re listed above but this chapter includes choking and even smut...yes, I finally wrote some smut for this story, ha! I’d also like to say that I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to get this chapter posted but I’m glad to be back. I’ve officially graduated high school (since may-june, I was homeschooled) so now I have lots and lots of free time so expect more chapters soon! One more thing, I posted a masterlist which can be found in my bio and I also have it pinned to my profile. Okay, I hope you enjoy this lengthy chapter! <<33

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

★·.·´¯`·.·★ 𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ★·.·´¯`·.·★

Delaney finally found out that while she was in John’s bunker, Nick’s wife Kim gave birth to their daughter, Carmina. Delaney decided that before things go any further with Sharky, she has to decide where things are going with John. Before she goes back to the bunker, she makes a pit stop to see someone special.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚢'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

“Hey, we can take my jeep. Once you drop me off at the bunker, you can just drive it back to my house unless John decides to send in the cavalry.” I said throwing Nick the keys and shaking my head. “It’s so fucking annoying when he does that, the bliss bullets make me feel so shitty.” I sat in the passenger seat and struggled to buckle myself because I was shaking so bad. “Hey, are you okay? Be honest.” Nick grabbed my arm and stopped me. “No...not really. I just - when I went to go arrest Joseph, I didn’t know this is how the county would turn out.” I put my head in my hands. I wasn’t crying, I was just disappointed. “Look, none of this is your fault. Nobody knew this is how it would’ve turned out. Don’t blame yourself.” Nick said as he rubbed my back. He took his hand off and started the engine. “Look on the brightside, we’re going to see Carmina right now. Don’t worry about anything peggie related until it’s time, D.” Talking stuff over with Nick, cleared my mind. We pulled up to Nick and Kim’s house, standing on the porch was Kim holding Carmina. “Oh my god! Congratulations guys. Kim, she’s gorgeous. How’re you feeling?” I said as I was rubbing Carmina’s head. “I’m doing alright! My feet hurt so bad though. Other than that, I’m so relieved she’s here.” Kim handed Carmina to Nick and pulled me in for a long hug. “Look, I know things are tough right now but I want you to know that Nick and I are always here for you. What’s going on right now isn’t your fault, remember that.” She rubbed my back. Tears rolling down my face, Kim pulled away. “Nick, why don’t you give Delaney her goddaughter, I’m sure she’s dying to hold her.” Kim said smiling sweetly at me. “Oh, she’s so small. She’s going to grow up to be an amazingly strong woman just like her mother.” I said as I was rocking Carmina back and forth. “And just like her godmother too.” Kim said smiling at me.

𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚙

As the sun sets, I realize that I still need to head back to the bunker. “I’m going to have to hand beautiful Carmina back to you, Kim. I have to head back to John’s bunker. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t sent in the-” As Kim grabs Carmina, I feel a bliss arrow shoot straight into my thigh. Suddenly, everything around me fades to black.

𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚙

𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚢'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

As I start to wake from unconsciousness, I hear faint grunting in the background. I don’t know where I am but the last thing I remember is being with Nick and Kim meeting their daughter. She was so petite and wholesome. I’m heartbroken to know that she has to be raised in the current state of Montana. This isn’t how I wanted things to turn out. Innocent families ripped from their homes, citizens being held under their will to be converted to the cult, innocent people dying, I had no idea this would happen. My eyes are blurry but I’m now able to see where the grunting is coming from. Deputy Hudson is sitting right in front of me. Black mascara has covered her cheeks and she has duct tape over her mouth. I try yelling to her but it’s no use seeing as I have tape on my mouth as well. I start to look around and begin to realize that I’m in John’s bunker. I hear the door latch open and hear John whistling, We’ll Meet Again by Vera Lynn. He slams down a toolbox and opens it up. He removes the one storage compartment and stops. He turns around and begins to tell me a story;

“My parents were the first ones to teach me about the Power of Yes.” John turns around to the toolbox sitting behind him. He pulls out, what looks to be skin, and staples it to the wood of the table. “One night, they took me into the kitchen, and they threw me on the ground, and I experienced pain after pain after pain after pain-” He slammed down the staple gun he was holding. I winced because I had never had him act this way around me. John was usually loving and made me feel safe. He had his moments, yes, but he was never violent. At least towards me. “And when I didn’t think I could take anymore, I did.” Once again, John turns around. This time, he goes into the storage compartment he removed from the toolbox. He grabs a tattoo gun and begins to walk towards me. Hudson, behind him, starts screaming but her screams are muffled due to the tape covering her mouth. John adjusts the lamp that’s next to me and continues, “Something broke free inside. I wasn’t scared, I was-” John flicks the lamp on. “clear.” He plugs a wire into the tattoo gun. “I looked up at them and I started to laugh. All I could say was...yes.” John clicks on the tattoo gun for just moment and then immediately turns it off. “I spent my entire life looking for more things to say ‘yes’ to.” He places the tattoo gun down and popped open my shirt to reveal my chest. For a moment, he just stares...then, he continues. “I opened up every hole in my body and when those were filled, I created more.” John is now making eye contact with me. A single tear comes out of my right eye as I’ve never seen John like this before. I try talking to him but this damn duct tape is my goddamn way. He pulls away and still continues on with his lengthy story. “But it was Joseph who showed me just how selfish I was being.” Hudson is still in the background trying to shout at John. He grabs a bowl off of the table next to him and pulls out a sponge. He begins cleaning off my chest. “Always receiving. Always taking. The best gift isn’t the one you get, it’s the one you give and giving takes courage.” He finishes cleaning off my chest and places the bowl down. He begins to walk back towards the table which has the toolbox on it. “The courage to own your sin. To etch it on to your flesh and carry its burden and when you have endured -- when you have truly begin to atone -- to cut it out like a cancer and display it for all to see. Ha...my god that’s courage.” He stops and grabs a screwdriver. “I’m going to teach you courage. Teach you how to say, ‘yes’ so you can confront your weakness.” John begins pacing and speaking with more volume, clearly full of passion. “Confront your sin. You will swim across an ocean of pain and emerge...free.” He quiets down and begins to walk towards me again, this time, pointing the screwdriver at me. “For only then can you truly begin to atone.” When he reaches me, he places the cold metal of the screwdriver onto my chest. He then, swiftly takes it off and walks back to the table. “So who wants to go first? Hm? Which one? Hmm? This is lesson number one. Someone’s got to choose.” Feeling the pressure and knowing if I don’t nod my head in agreement, John will just get angrier. I don’t want anything else happening to Hudson because who knows what she’s already been through. I nod my head and wave my bound hand at him. “Yes. YES!” I can hear Hudson screaming in disagreement as John begins to walk closer to me yet again. “You’re not going to regret this. I promise.” He points the screwdriver at me again. “Now, before we begin,” John begins to walk to Hudson and throws the screwdriver to the side. “I think it’s only proper that Deputy Hudson goes back to her room. Confessions are meant to be private, after all.” He reaches the back of Hudson’s chair and begins to roll her towards me. Screaming, Hudson makes eye contact me. We hold it for a moment and I begin to tear up. Hudson is now crying even more than she was before. “Shhh. Shhh...I am not here to take your life. I’m here to give it to you.” John straightens up and pushes the lamp out of the way that had shined on me prior. He places his hands around my neck and begins to choke me. “I’m going to open you and pour your worst fears inside and as you choke, your sins will reveal themselves.” Hudson, next to us begins shouting at John in hopes he’d let go of me. “Only then, will you truly understand the Power of Yes.” He removes his hands from my throat and continues back over to Hudson. “I’ll be right back.” John says as he wheels Hudson out of the room.

I begin sobbing. I know John was probably doing all of this because Hudson was in the room but I’ve never felt like this before. I knew I should’ve gotten back to the bunker earlier. He probably hated the fact that I was having a good time out of the bunker, thinking I’d get too used to it and want to go out more often. Well, who wouldn’t get used to being outside after being locked in all day?

𝙹𝚘𝚑𝚗'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

I roll Deputy Hudson down the hallway of the bunker. I feel bad for treating Delaney the way I did back there but, that’s what happens when you don’t come back to the bunker after many hours of being out. If anything, she should be lucky I didn’t do anything worse to her. I just...I know that, after that interaction, she might not feel the same way about...us anymore. I reach miss Deputy Hudson’s room and I unlatched her door. I bring her inside and shut the door so when I remove her restraints, she doesn’t try anything...funny. I go down to her feet and begin to cut off the rope. Next, I come up to her wrists and finally get the duct tape off of her mouth. “What the fuck is your deal? What are you going to do to Delaney? Don’t you hurt her anymore then that petty fucking choking you did.” She gets in my face. I slap her and push her down onto her bed. “You don’t tell me how to punish my people. What goes on in confessional, is going to be none of your business. You’ll get your fill of confession soon, don’t you worry. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to get to.” I remove my hand from her face and head over to the door. I unlatch it and start back down the hallway to Delaney. I open up the door and see Delaney still in the spot that I left her. I place my hand on her shoulder and walk around to face her. I pull up a stool that’s near her and sit down. Reaching up to her face, I remove the duct tape slowly so I don’t hurt her as much. “So, I’d just like to apologize for acting different towards you. I was angry about your tardiness. I felt as though you abandoned me and I didn’t like it. I’d also like to apologize for choking you.” John said stroking my cheek and removing my wrist restraints. “Oh yeah? Well, you should’ve fucking said that instead of choking me and scrubbing me down with a sponge. I’d also like to mention, it didn’t make me feel any better knowing that Hudson was here. Has she been in the fucking bunker the whole time?!” Delaney yelled. “I don’t want to lie to you so yes, she’s been here the whole time. I’ve kept her in the lower rooms as to keep you from be able to hear her. I didn’t want to put you through that or risk other things so I didn’t tell you.” I told her as I started to cut through the rope around her ankles.

*steamy scene approaching, btw, not just making out ;)*

𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚢'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

“Yeah, other things meaning, saving Hudson and leaving the bunker. Look, I love you, John, but choking me and having her bound in front of me, wasn’t the most amazing thing either.” I said flustered as I started pacing back and forth. “Wait...wait. Did you just- did you just say that you loved me?” John grabbed my wrist and I froze. Oh shit...I fucking did. “Yes...yes I did. What are you going to do about it?” I said yanking my arm back and crossing my arms now. John shoved me against the table that had the toolbox on it. He sat me on top and started making out with me. John began unbuttoning my shirt. “You know, you could just rip it off. It would be a lot faster.” I said in-between kisses. “No I can’t, this shirt was expensive.” John pulled away so he could accurately continue unbuttoning the shirt I was wearing. I started laughing as he continued. He then began to unbutton his shirt so I starting unbuckling his belt. I took off my unbuttoned shirt and threw it to the floor. John did the same, as well as pulling his pants down. I undid my belt and threw my pants to the ground. John came back over to me and continued to kiss me passionately. He made his way to my neck and began sucking which left hickies. “Well, if no one knew we were together, they would now.” I said through heavy breathes. “Fuck it. Who cares right?” John said while making his way to nibble on my ear. “Um...maybe Jacob or y’know, Joseph. I’m pretty sure they’d care.” I said rubbing my hand up and down John’s chest as he continued biting my ear. “Okay so, do you want me to stop? Do you want this is to be over?” John said biting my bottom lip. “No...I’m just- making a point.” I replied as I hopped off the table. I grabbed John’s hand and led him over to the chair that I was bound to prior. I shoved him down and he fell onto the seat. I wheeled the chair over to the wall that way it won’t move as much once I sit in his lap. Before I sit down on his lap, I removed my underwear and unfasten my bra. I walked over to John and started to pull down his underwear. I climbed on top of him and he placed both of his hands on my hips to help stabilize me considering we were about to have sex on a chair with wheels. John slowly began to slide his penis inside of me. I arched my back a little and gasped at how it felt going in. I let out a small moan and beginning moving my hips back and forth, slowly. John threw his head back and let out a moan of his own. I placed a hand on his throat and I ran my fingers through his hair with the other. I started picking up speed. With the hand I placed on his throat, I now grabbed his face and roughly started making out with him. John slid his tongue into my mouth and I did the same with mine. He quickly took his tongue out and threw his head back once again, this time letting out an even louder moan. I started riding him even faster and due to how passionate it was, I let out a moan, however, I moaned his name. “John...” I could feel him finish inside me, however I wasn’t done. I got off of him and laid on the floor. In this moment, I didn’t care that I was laying on freezing, dirty, concrete...I was in love. John got the idea and got down on the floor but instead of laying next me, he got on top of me. He started making out with me then slowly worked his way down to my breasts and began running his tongue along my nipples. Taking one into his mouth, he began sucking. As he did so, he slid his hand down to my vagina and began to slide two fingers in. John, however, was a smart man and knew that’s not only what I wanted so he stopped sucking on my nipples and made his way down to meet his fingers. He placed his tongue on my clit and started working. He went as fast as he could, my back arching so far off the ground. I let out plenty of loud moans, even some with his name in there. Then, I felt myself release. But, like I said, John is a smart man...he kept going. Soon enough, I had finished a second time and lastly, a third. He took his fingers out and I was lying there, unable to move a single muscle. Once I had been able to breathe, I told John, “That...was absolutely amazing.” I stretched and stood up. Barely able to walk, I sat on the swivel chair. “John, baby, can you hand me my clothes please..I’m unable to walk.” John turned to me and laughed. He walked over to wear my bra, underwear, pants, and shirt were and handed them to me. He leaned down and kissed me warmly and began dressing himself. Once he was fully clothed, he came over to me and help me out. Buckled my bra for me, buttoned up my shirt, slid on my underwear and next my pants. Then he grabbed my socks and shoes and put those on for me as well. “I love you too, Delaney. I realized just now that I didn’t say anything.” John said, leaning his hands on the chair’s armrests. “You didn’t need to say anything, I knew.” I got close to his face and left him small pecks on his lips. “Would I be able to see Hudson?” I asked John with sad eyes. John let out a sigh.

𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍… †

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUrUN5CqcB87hkBtuYKM6Vs_RMpcDuwaT

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danideservedbetter · 3 years ago

Text

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years ago

Note

I'm reading through some of your meta and in the one about WWX possibly weaponizing MXY being gay you mention how MXY being a molester was fabricated. I agree with this but I always thought that this was a personal headcanon and didn't realize that it was supported by canon. If you're up to it, please may you point me to where it might say this?

Hi anon,

I’m sad to report that there isn’t a scene where JGY admits before a jury that yes, it was I, I fabricated the claims against Mo Xuanyu, who was a hapless victim all along! which would be convenient for winning arguments quickly and easily. But, I promise you, so long as we read between the lines, it is undeniable that we are meant to understand by the end of the novel that the accusations leveled against Mo Xuanyu were baseless and that he was another victim of JGY’s (and NHS’s!) machinations.

Beyond a purely thematic reading of the novel, which would therefore highlight that the theme around how public opinion is willing to believe accusations and condemn without material or sensible proof (particularly so when it comes to people who do not hold a lot of power within society, those who are the Other) is one that is repeated across many characters, the narrative reveal of JGY’s true personality and actions indicates that the accusations against MXY were just another ploy of JGY’s.

At the very beginning of the novel, when WWX looks through Mo Xuanyu’s things, he’s able to piece out together that Mo Xuanyu’s “lunacy” seemed rooted in a deep and paranoiac fear of.... something. MXY didn’t just get thrown out of the Sect in disgrace--something clearly happened to him, or he clearly witnessed something that scared him out of his senses.

“after he returned, he seemed to have gone completely mad—although no one could tell what kind of shock he’d suffered. He had good days and bad ones. It was as if he had been scared witless.” [Chapter 1]

Further into the novel, it is revealed that MXY didn’t actually harass his “peers” but actually only one person: Jin Guangyao. Right after this reveal, we also learn that MXY used to treat JGY with the utmost respect and deference. While Jin Ling seems to misunderstand this past deification of JGY as a side-effect of MXY’s presumed feelings for him, as readers we can see how it actually raises doubts into the claims leveraged against MXY, as it would then seem very out of character for MXY to disrespect JGY by harassing him (especially if one considers that the risks of harassing his powerful half-brother definitely would not outweigh the benefits....).

“Don’t listen to [JGY],” said Wei Wuxian. “Let me tell you—when you grow older, you’ll find out that there are more and more people you want to beat up, but you’ll have to force yourself to get along with them nicely. So, since you’re still young, go beat up all the people you want. At such an age, if you don’t have a few proper fights, your life won’t be complete.”

Jin Ling’s face betrayed faint yearning, yet he still sounded contemptuous, “What are you talking about? Shushu’s advice is for my own good.”

After he spoke, he suddenly remembered that the past Mo Xuanyu had always regarded Jin Guangyao as a deity. He definitely would not have disagreed with Jin Guangyao in any way. Yet, now he was saying not to listen to him. Was it that he really did not hold any improper thoughts toward Jin Guangyao anymore?

(we also learn that Zewu-jun never knew about what supposedly happened, or even who MXY was, which again.....fishy.... JGY what are you hiding...... not mentioning someone harassed you to your bff is one thing, but not introducing him to your half-bro?.... )

Then! Almost right after we learn all this new information, it is also revealed through WWX’s paperman adventures and NMJ’s adventures that JGY is not who he has presented himself to be: he is a master manipulator, who has lied and continues to lie to preserve his position and to eliminate people he perceives as threatening the place he carved for himself in sweat and tears and blood.

At this point, the deal is pretty much sealed: we have an unreliable witness in the man we now know to be able to do incredibly scary and cruel things (a knowledge that will only be reinforced by the end of the novel once NHS’ plan is completed). What actually happened, how MXY went from someone who deified JGY to someone who would need to be sent away in disgrace and scared into silence and compliance, all this is not told to us by the novel. It is possible that JGY might have seen MXY as a potential accomplice to his deeds (like he did his other half-brother, XY) (EDIT: I DREAMED UP THAT XY was one of JGS’s bastard children, please disregard it), or that he might have seen MXY as a potential threat to his position because of they shared a father--honestly, I can see many possibilities here!

Also, it is important to consider that even the claim of MXY’s “lunacy” is pretty fraught and ambiguous. The novel ends up setting up the idea that MXY’s erratic behaviour was related to him being scared (as we see in the and frustrated at the injustice he received at the hands of both the Jin Sect and his family (for example, this piece of shino meta)

Finally, it’s a good time to remember that even MXY’s sacrifice was not a decision he made on his own: he was once again the victim of a mastermind with much more power and influence than he could ever dream to have. After all, the novel takes pain to explain to us that NHS’s schemes for revenge depended on MXY sacrificing himself (passage under the cut because this post is getting long!)

“Nie-zongzhu,” Wei Wuxian asked again. “I heard that you often travel between the Gusu Lan sect and the Lanling Jin sect, am I right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then did you really not recognize Mo Xuanyu?”

“Ah?” Nie Huaisang’s face twitched slightly.

“I remember that the first time I met you after my soul had been offered into his body, you acted as if you did not recognize me, and even asked Hanguang-jun who I was. Mo Xuanyu was then entangled anyhow with Jin Guangyao during that time* and was able to access even his secret collections, and you often went to find Jin-zongzhu to complain. Even if you and Mo Xuanyu were not familiar with each other, did you really not see him before at all?”

Nie Huaisang scratched his head, saying, “Wei-xiong, Jinlintai is so huge, I can’t possibly recognize everyone, even if I’ve seen them, I can’t remember. Moreover…”

Looking rather awkward, he continued, “You know about Mo Xuanyu’s identity back then, it’s slightly…...the Lanling Jin sect had tried their best to hide it, so it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had never met him before. Even Xichen-ge may not have met him before.”

“Oh, that’s true. Zewu-jun did not know who Mo Xuanyu was either.”

“Right! And what I don’t understand is, even if I had seen Mo Xuanyu before, why would I pretend not to recognize him? Was there such a need?”

Wei Wuxian laughed and replied, “Nothing much, I just thought it strange and was casually asking.

However, he thought, He was simply trying to see whether the ‘Mo Xuanyu’ he met was the real one.

For someone who was said to have been cowardly and weak, where would have Mo Xuanyu gotten the courage to sacrifice himself and offer his soul?

And as for Chifeng-zun’s left hand, why was it discarded? It could not be that Jin Guangyao would accidentally lose it.

Moreover, why was it that it happened to appear right at the Mo family residence, just when Wei Wuxian had been reincarnated, but not somewhere else?

If Chifeng-zun’s body had been buried by the QingheNie sect, would Nie Huaisang, who had always respected his older brother, not notice that his body had disappeared all these years?

Wei Wuxian was inclined to believe an alternative situation.

[...]

As such, [NHS] thought of another person; Mo Xuanyu, who had just been kicked out of the Golden Pavilion.

Perhaps in order to let Mo Xuanyu listen to him, Nie Huaisang had already spoken to him before and heard from an upset and anguished Mo Xuanyu that he had seen one of Jin Guangyao’s scrolls of forbidden spells recording a certain ancient demonic spell. He then took advantage of the Mo Xuanyu, who was then humiliated and bullied by his clan, to persuade him to perform the spell as revenge**.

And which fierce corpse would he summon?

Naturally, he would summon the Yiling Patriarch.

Unable to bear the days of humiliation any longer, Mo Xuanyu finally drew the array, and Nie Huaisang also took the chance to throw out the hot potato that was burning his hand: ChiFeng-Zun’s left arm.

From there on, his plan had begun and he no longer had to spend his own time and energy to find Nie Mingjue’s remaining body, leaving the dangerous and troublesome job to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. All he had to do was watch their actions closely. [Chapter 109]

*I changed the translation here, which originally said that “Mo Xuanyu was harassing Jin Guangyao” since I find (at least with my limited linguistic skills lmao) that the original is much more ambivalent. The clause is 莫玄羽当年好歹也纠缠过金光瑶, and the use of 好歹 signals to me toward ambivalence, which is further compounded by the fact that the verb 纠缠 does not necessarily translate to harassment. So I doubt that the original intent was to suggest that WWX was saying to NHS: shouldn’t you have known the dude who was harassing JGY? Anyone who knows Chinese more than I do is free to come and correct me if I am completely wrong in my assessment.

**Okay I changed the translation here again because the translation I was working with made it seem as if MXY was motivated by shame? but the original Chinese says 他便怂恿当时饱受族人欺辱的莫玄羽 which to me clearly points to his treatment by the Mo family/clan and to the fact that it was something being done unto him, not a state of mind he had.

#anon ask #mdzs meta #mo xuanyu #mxy #jgy #jin guangyao #nhs #nie huaisang #meta post follow-up #Anonymous

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purvishraick · 4 years ago

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Blood Bound Chapter 6

Fanfiction : Bloodbound (Choices)

Pairing : Adrian Raines x Amy Richard Parker (MC)

Warning : none

Rating: PG - 13

TAG LIST : @otherworldlypresents , @evelynistic , @silma-words , @fireycookie , @lauren-raines-x

If anyone wanna be tagged in future do let me know….

read previous chapter here ….. Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5

so i have been busy .... so sorry it is late ..... so in today’s chapter here comes our favourite MR. RAINES *fangirl scream* 😍😍😍😍😍

It was the same old day , same Monday morning , and Adrian felt nothing special about it. For others everyday was a new day but for him it was the all same , nothing new. For the others with each and every passing day, the number of days reduced from the lists but for Adrian, with each and every day the number of days increased only.

He didn’t have any interest in the life he was living. He just lived for the sake of living.

Adrian watched as life continued around just like every day, from his office. He frequently thought about the safety of people he was responsible for. His existence as a vampire among all the humans was a thing he was always afraid of. He always dreaded that what would happen if his secret is revealed as it could bring a lot of harm to both the worlds. He always had to be cautious about his actions.

To Adrian, one of his major priority was the safety of all the employees of his company, as he was responsible for them. But after the recent incident he thought he was not doing his job properly. Though it has been a month since then but still, Emily’s screams as the feral attacked her, were quite fresh in his ears.

Emily Vaughn has been his executive assistant for past 3 months, and he thought that it was his responsibility. He always did his best but the things would still go south anyways. It was a good thing that she didn’t die or any serious injuries didn’t take place, but still he had to debrief her and send her away for own safety.

Adrian never tried to make connections in this world, he was oblivious to the pleasure of being loved since more than 100 years. Every time giving away his feelings brought him nothing, it only ended I misery and pain. He was always haunted by the memories of his family and his lover. He swore to never give his heart away ever again, after being left wounded two times by doing so.

He always wondered what could have happened if his family was alive, he could have seen his beautiful boy grow up into a handsome man , but fate had something else in store for him.

The day he was turned into a vampire was the worst of his, he didn’t understood why some vampires see immortality as a gift to them , to him immortality was a curse because living too long without the ones he loved is useless.

“Adrian …” interrupting his thoughts a voice came through the corridor. He turned to see who it was. As he expected it was Nicole Anderson, the VP of Raines Corporation.

Nicole was a dedicated woman and focused on her work. Adrian has been working with her for years now. She is also one of the people he truly trust. Even after knowing his truth of being a vampire , she stayed there. She was always stern which he despised the most.

“yes … “ he replied .

“ Adrian , the interview for executive assistant will begin today at 10.30 sharp , so --- “

“ok … you take it and let me know of the progress later on “ he interrupted her .

“okay…” she was taken aback on his sudden response , she might have thought that Adrian might want to take look at the candidates but anyways she was least bothered by these things , so she stormed out as she came in .

Adrian sighed and went out of his office . He was just going through the corridor and something caught his eye.

A small figure at the end of the corridor , just standing there and talking to someone on her phone , with a big smile plastered on her face. He neither had seen her before here nor she was any of his employees. But whoever she was , she was exceptionally beautiful with a professional attire and her flowing hair and that amazing smile that could win heaven. He was irresistibly attracted towards her. He heightened his senses to listen what was she saying on her phone and hid in the shadows.

“ Ya – ya I know…oh stop it …I am not a kid…” the beautiful girl said.

“ I know you are not a kid …because if you were I wouldn’t have sent you to Manhattan“ the man on the other side spoke . Adrian assumed him to be her father or her boyfriend .

“ Come on brother stop it …she is right …she is not a kid …and you didn’t even give so many instruction to John and Jenna when they left for school” another voice said .

“ya maybe because our sister is an even smaller kid , in the flesh of an 25 year old “ the first one shot back .

“ Excuse me brother …can you repeat what you just said “the girl said while attempting to be mad at him but at last giggling . But it sure as hell , cleared their relation and failed his assumption.

“ it is better you not listen to that one …” first voice .

“oh really …now I am even more intrigued “ the girl snapped back .

“ well well well …you can give me $1000 to keep my mouth shut , brother “ the second voice said .

“ how will it be, if I punch you to keep your mouth shut , brother “ first voice snapped back in mock sarcasm .

“ well well …what did I say about not murdering one another in my absence , brothers “ the girl said .

“ well… then remember to stay away from my euology “ the second one said.

They both laughed , Adrian assumed that it must be some inner joke between them , but watching that girl laugh mesmerized him. She did have a beautiful smile, and Adrian never admitted it but he did found her beautiful .

“okay okay ……now if you two five year olds are done …then let me say something serious to our little sister …now Amy …”

Oh her name is Amy

“…you listen to me carefully …now you will stay alert and if there is any problem you will call me and tell me everything ……and don’t you dare go to any other club – “ he was cut off again .

“ you cant bloody… restrict her from not going to clubs …that is not fair …she is not a minor …for god’s sake Christopher … she is effing 25 years old …you yourself said that “ the second one said .

Adrian kind of agreed with him.

“I swear… if you interrupt me once more… I will throw that laptop of yours and you yourself… out of this house” he warned .

Adrian understood that he surely does have some authority in their family and that girl was the youngest among them . She came out to be pretty sweet to him.

“ I love you , Nathaniel …I hereby promote you to the post of my most favourite brother now on “

“ I love you too sissy “ second one replied .

“ oh you two are going to be the death of me …now stop this nonsense …Amy listen …seriously this time …if I get to know you are getting wasted at a club in the middle of the night then I swear that I will deport your ass from Manhattan to New Orleans myself …getting--- “ he was cut off again by his sister this time.

“ hello…brother …I cant hear you …you are not audible to me “ she kept taking the phone away from her ear.

“no…don’t you dare do that Amy , don’t you dare cut the fucking phone …AMY “ the first one shouted but was late as she cut off the phone.

She let out a long sigh and continued to explore the place, then after taking a look at the place she sat down on the bench and waited . The girl must have got some alert senses , that she realized that she was being watched by someone and searched behind her but found no one. And he was smiling to himself at the look she got on her face after finding no one .

She was extremely beautiful , Adrian has never seen someone like her in centuries . There was an undeniable attraction towards her .

And in that moment he knew that he has to know her, moreover he needs to know her , but as he started to approach her , Nicole came near her and she followed her away. He got it that she was one of those candidates for being his assistant. He saw the look Nicole gave her , which clearly reflected that she was jealous of her and he knew that she will give her a hard time. So he followed them inside, putting on his most professional face and decided to take the matter in his own hands.

- Purvi Shraick ❤❤

#adrian x mc #adrian raines #adrian×mc #BloodBound #bloodbound book 1 #bloodbound book 2 #bloodbound book 3 #kamilah sayeed #lily spencer #jax matsuo #choices stories we play #choices fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #playchoices fanfiction #playchoices #fic of the week #fics of the week

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xiu21chen99 · 4 years ago

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hxh headcanon!!

/imagine ofc!! everyone expected another, i hope shhdjdkf

umm... my art?? I'll be transferring it to digi-art tomorrow or sth but uh be nice pls, im new to dis

the art is related to the hc,,, anYWAYS DARK CONTINENT ARC TIMELINE and... TW! blood, violence and death. this is what i envision the "battle for hisokas head" arc story thingey would go

ON THE BLACK WHALE!

Hisoka has killed most of the spiders already, all that was left were Illumi, Kalluto, Chrollo, Shizuku and Bonolenov (bc the latter three formed a group truce rmmbr)

he decides to save the Zoldycks for last so he hunts for the mf who mangled his face and literally killed him

Hisoka makes quick work of killing Bono and Shizuku (nooo my bby ;-;)

Chrollo and he have a sort of stalemate stance bc they're in a discrete room in the Black Whale, they're meters apart and they're literally just walking in a circle to see who'd make the first move

Bono and Shizuku's bodies are in the same room

Illumi comes in with Kalluto in tow and the two siblings stop dead in their tracks to watch

that's when Hisoka moves in for the kill

but Chrollo counters w a spell he pulled from his book- an explosion erupts, tho it's a small, kind of controlled one but still, everyone in the room are forced back

Hisoka's thrown to a wall while the other three skid back on the feet

the emergency alarms ring in the room, the automated doors move to close

Illumi and Kalluto make eye contact before Kalluto runs for it, Illumi goes to block the door when he left, making sure Chrollo doesn't follow suit before walking towards Hisoka

"what are you doing?" Chrollo asks when Illumi helps the clown to his feet.

"oh, did i not tell you?" Illumi pulls out a few needles from his outfit "Hisoka has also commissioned for your head, but only under the circumstance where he could see."

"no, you forgot to mention that." Chrollo humors, book in hand and a forced smile on his lips

"oh this should be fun," Hisoka adds beside him, cracking his neck with a sinister grin

"i take it you were serious about the... engagement ring you mentioned earlier?" Chrollo asks as he flips to a page in his book

"quite, yes. i have already told my brother to not contact our parents about it, hence why he was with me up until now." Illumi explains, pins glowing with violet nen

"how boring, i had hoped you'd at least introduce me to my in-laws before we get on with it." Hisoka teases, cards in hand

"disgusting." Chrollo sneers, and the tension in the room snaps.

There's another explosion, quite bigger and definitely stronger. Illumi blocks the stray debris from his eyes with a hand, squinted eyes taking in everything that was to see.

Hisoka was still beside him though his head was snapping from left to right trying to navigate their common target

There's whispering, then Chrollo's puppets appear behind them, seeming to have grown from the concrete ground

they were mindless pawns, Hisoka gladly kicked them all til they returned to dust

what came next were Bono and Shizuku, though Illumi could have sworn they were dead earlier

"it's a stolen power, they might still be able to use their nen." Hisoka warns, and as if to prove his point Shizuku attacks Illumi with Blinky

"cut off their heads!" Hisoka yells, disappearing into the still present dust cloud of the post-explosion

Shizuku was the easier target, death made her think that vacuum of hers was a sword. Illumi pins her to the wall and snaps her head off

Bono was more clever, he hid in the dust and used his whistle like body to distract Illumi from where he actually was

Then he attacks when he had his back turned to him

But Illumi soon gets the hang of it, whips back to his right to catch Bono mid jump, and crushes his neck like paper

He drops the twice killed body and wipes his hands on his pants

There's strong aura somewhere in the room, so he follows his instincts through the smog

Another explosion, but this time actual smoke builds up in the room, triggering the fire alarms and the sprinklers

"you fucking bitch!"

"you should have stayed dead, Hisoka!"

Illumi follows the voices and now obvious sounds of fighting

as the smoke clears, he sees multiple figures go after who he assumes was Hisoka. Logically speaking, he was the only target of those useless puppets

Illumi jumps to his feet to help him, throwing pins at the three running to Hisoka at stumbling speed

He lands behind Hisoka with grace, feet as silent as ever.

the smoke is nearly gone now, so when Illumi turns to see if Hisoka was alright he's shocked to find a rock figurine, roughly formed to Hisoka's shape and build

"Hisoka-"

"i can't believe you fell for that" Chrollo says behind him, but Illumi has already sent needles flying his way

"what did you do?"

unprepared, Chrollo's sent to the wall, hands pinned and spread. there were matching pins buried deep into the palms of his hands making him unable to move

"I just killed the bastard who shouldn't have come for my friends."

his hands needed to touch something to detonate. with two more pins each added to his hands (and two more to each of his feet), Chrollo's made to float with Illumi's Manipulation

(hc power here bc i think he could do this, but he only saves it for special occasions or enemies lol)

Illumi pulls forth a mind control needle amd jams it into Chrollo’s forehead, “answer my questions, and answer me truthfully"

"what did you do to Hisoka, you could not have killed him in that short amount of time. I should have been able to sense something if you did. he is not in this room, so where is he?"

Chrollo groans, "he's trapped in the room i laid out for him"

"explain."

"i stole some random passenger's teleportation ability. its' condition is to only be able to open a portal if the room's closed and only has one door. i opened the portal and left him in the in between."

"you have been planning this, correct?"

"i only came up with it when Shizuku encountered the man with this power. he's still alive of course, but if i kill him then his nen portals would cease, and Hisoka will be trapped in that limbo forever."

"and nen after death..?"

"he adores the spiders, he surely won't hold a grudge if i killed him for this."

"this is a well executed plan." Illumi complements despite the situation

"thanks."

"open the portal, bring him back."

"why should i?"

Illumi grabs another pin from his shirt, this time giving it a lick before jamming it into Chrollo's arm

"i am already annoyed at how everything has turned out, just pull Hisoka out of the portal."

life slowly drains from Chrollo's eyes, as he goes limp against Illumi's pins that kept him afloat and away from any possible detonation medium

Chrollo-puppet, now on his own two feet, pulls out his book and flips to a page. The wall behind him opens, the metal folding out as if crumpled then Hisoka walks out, in shock. The wall closes silently, as if it never opened to begin with

Hisoka snaps out of it quickly, lips curving into a pleased smile, "nice work, Illu!"

Illumi waves a hand dismissively. "would you like to do the honors?"

"ooh~ don't mind if i do," Hisoka pulls out a card from somewhere and approaches the still Chrollo.

Illumi walks to a wall to lean against it, knowing Hisoka would take his time.

"you've married an idiot, Illumi Zoldyck." a voice said beside him, and he snaps his head up to see Hisoka's killing slash

"wait-"

But it was too late

another explosion, this time strong enough to blow the doors open and the walls broken

Illumi's once again pushed to the wall, back through the metal it poked him with blisters

As the dust settled for a third time, Chrollo stood in the middle of the room, unharmed and unpinned.

Under his foot, Hisoka. Dead?

"no-" Illumi coughs, dust filling his lungs

Illumi stumbles to the pair as Chrollo backs away, to the door now open

"Hisoka-" he falls to his knees beside the man, cradles the head to his lap. This was real, this was really Hisoka. he felt it- he felt the last ebbs of his presence fade along with the explosion.

He was really dead...

Was his Bungee Gum/after death nen a one time thing?

He was so stupid, he should have noticed that Chrollo was a fake. It had been too easy. Fuck.

Hisoka coughs, and Illumi zeroes in on it, on the way his once steady chest heaves with labored breaths. "Hiso- Hisoka?"

"Illu..." he drawls, unable to say it clearly

"what do i do?"

"ta... take m-" he coughs again, "take my heart, Illu."

"what do you mean?" Illumi presses a hand to the side of Hisoka's neck, trying to find a pulse

"this is my nen condition-" heave- "Bungee gum will help me get the engagement ring to you. it's in my heart, literally-"

"Hisoka, you are not making any sense-"

"just kill me already, illu-" cough- "and carve out my heart. you'll find the ring there."

"o-oh" Illumi's eyes widen

"do it, illu. before my-" heave again "nen runs out."

Hisoka's smiling. his glamour of texture surprise has worn off already, so his nose-less, peeling face stared back at Illumi

"go on, love."

with no other choice, Illumi elongates his nails and digs into the crevice between Hisoka's rib cage. his blood felt hot and sticky between his fingers, but Illumi dug deeper.

his heart was still beating though weakly, as if it still had a chance to live on

"bye, love." were Hisoka's last breathy words as Illumi pulls the organ out. It was shrouded in pink nen, Bungee Gum he thought, its distinct tint a permanent brand in Illumi's mind

gore slid down his hand, as illumi held it closer to his face for inspection

for a few fleeting moments it continued throbbing, but now it's stilled to a mere heart.

Illumi has done this method of killing before, but this is the first heart he thought held value

blood dripped from his hand down to Hisoka's smiling face, eyes open and gaze somewhere to Illumi's direction

as the Bungee Gum lifted, a ring popped out from an outward ventricle.

a bloody ring

how did he manage to do this?

despite the crimson, Illumi slips it to his ring finger with a grim smile

even after death, Hisoka still amazed him

He gently puts Hisoka's head to the ground, off his lap, and closes his golden eyes

Illumi's en grows with unbridled rage that it covered the whole ship. Chrollo is just a few hallways down

Bloodlust up in new heights, Illumi lets his presence explode, making sure nen and non nen users alike felt his hunger to kill

Finding Chrollo was too easy, but this time he's sure it was the real one. he was at the balcony, looking out into the sunset.

"i take it, you loved him?"

Illumi doesn't answer, instead walks closer with eery silence

"if you loved him then why didn't you tell him?"

one step forward, two, three. just a few more left.

"he wouldn't have reciprocated? blah, he was of peculiar taste, I'm sure he would've accepted you."

pins, needles, hell even a card he got from Hisoka. he threw all of it to Chrollo, aiming for where he was and the surrounding spots he could have gone to, to avoid them

pinned down and bleeding, Chrollo continues "or were you not aware you loved him until you saw him die right before your eyes?"

Illumi, more than once, said that assassins don't need friends. didn't have a need for anyone else but family.

but

"he was my friend. that's all there was to it."

Chrollo's head rolls to the balcony, falls off and to the sea. a king of hearts was placed where the head should be, engraved into the floor.

later that day, Illumi went back to the room where Hisoka was, to find Kalluto there. His kimono was bunched up by his hands to make sure blood didn't touch the ends.

"aniki, what happened here? where's danchou?"

"kallu, i want you to help me with something." Illumi said instead, "can you help me clean him up?"

"should we throw him overboard?" Kalluto gestured to Hisoka.

"no, i want to fix him up and find a coffin in this ship. i will bury him when we get back to the mainland."

"why?"

"because..." Illumi fiddled with the bloodied ring, "he was my husband."

for those of u confused don't worry, i am too. basically chrollo used a bomb dummy of himself and that’s the one hisoka killed but uh got him killed instead. shjsjfkf sorry if this was shitty it's 2:30am nd i just wanted to write this before i forgot. I'll fix it tomorrow hopefully

also the hc is the ring in hisokas heart thingey and maybe the room trap plan bc togashi wouldnt have introduced that bitch if he didnt plan on using him for the plot shjsjdkfkgl good night!

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