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walkonandtwo · 2 years

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Montana OPI wants to add a penalty for teachers who violate sex ed requirements

BY: KEILA SZPALLER - JANUARY 7, 2023 9:21 AM

A teacher who fails to give parents and guardians advance notice of “human sexuality instruction” may be punished if the Montana Office of Public Instruction turns a legislative priority into a signed bill.

As proposed by OPI, educators who don’t alert parents within 48 hours of related lessons or events would be subject to a “gross neglect of duty” penalty.

OPI spokesperson Brian O’Leary said Friday the agency that oversees Montana public schools is still seeking a sponsor to carry a bill with such language.

The language OPI drafted would amend legislation from the 2021 session that requires a school to provide parents at least 48 hours notice if they are teaching “or otherwise providing information about” human sexuality.

Among other changes, OPI requests the addition of a “violation” section, which identifies administrative penalties for educators as a letter of reprimand, suspension, license revocation, or denial of teaching certificate, required by Montana law.

O’Leary said due process would be in place for the teacher; the Montana Board of Public Education would determine the actual disciplinary action through a hearing.

He said the violation section focuses on license discipline and is needed because “a penalty mirrors the responsibility in the bill.”

“Superintendent (Elsie Arntzen) has spoken to many parents and school districts around the state as well as the School Board Association on the implementation of the current language,” O’Leary said in an email. “She also spoke with the sponsor of the bill on the intent of the language. These discussions led the superintendent to pursue amendments to the bill for clarification.”

The Montana School Boards Association could not immediately be reached for comment Friday afternoon.

The bill that passed in 2021 defined “human sexuality instruction” as including a long list of items, such as human sexual anatomy, intimate relationships, gender identity, contraception and other subjects.

The law applies not just to teaching, but to “otherwise providing information about” human sexuality.

In its draft language, OPI also requests that schools provide parental notice when students, not just educators and administrators, offer human sexuality materials in curriculum or at an event or assembly.

Additionally, the language would require notification no more than 10 days prior to the event or lesson — in addition to the current requirement to notify parents “no less than 48 hours” in advance.

Superintendent Micah Hill of Kalispell Public Schools said an opt-out policy has always been in place for sex education in middle school and high school. (He said elementary schools aren’t affected in a significant way.)

In 2021, SB 99 flew under the radar a bit. He said it wasn’t enacted right away, and schools didn’t recognize the impact it would have at the classroom level at first.

But since it took effect, he said schools are in touch with parents more frequently.

“We’re communicating more regularly what’s going on within our classrooms, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” Hill said.

However, he said the legislation is based on a “manufactured crisis in education” that isn’t applicable in Montana, and as such, it’s “a little bit of an overreach on the part of the legislature.”

Unless it’s challenged, he said the law might be something schools live with. He said administrators such as himself aren’t heavily affected, but the legislation has shifted a burden onto teachers.

For example, he said an English teacher presenting “Romeo and Juliet” now wants to know if the lesson requires advanced notice: “There is a love scene in the play. Does that constitute sex education?”

And he said government instructors will teach “mock Congress” and request students present draft bills. Since abortion is in the news, he said, a student may want to present a mock bill to restrict abortion in Montana: “Where does that put the teacher?”

He said OPI hasn’t given specific guidance, and lawyers have tried to do so on a case by case basis: “We’re just left to figure it out on our own.”

He said the attorneys’ interest is to uphold the intent of the law and reduce liability for the district, and it hasn’t been a huge issue in Kalispell.

“(But) there’s a nuisance factor to it,” Hill said.

O’Leary said draft language has been sent to legislators. OPI’s changes do not seek to more narrowly tailor cases in which schools must give parental notification.

“OPI trusts our local control with school districts following and implementing the Montana state teaching and learning standards set forth by the Board of Public Education,” O’Leary said.

He also noted OPI itself is affected and complying: “OPI is also following the law in SB 99 by offering parents transparency in the questions and an opt-out option for the Youth Risk Behavior Survey due to some questions focusing on human sexuality.”

The survey “assists educators and health professionals in determining the prevalence of health-risk behaviors as self-reported by Montana youth” and was initiated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 1988, according to OPI. It aims to identify the leading causes of mortality, morbidity, and social problems among youth.

OPI Bill Draft Request 3 – human sexuality instruction (draft 1 2022.12.01)

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Travis has had both boyfriends and girlfriends since high school. But when his coworkers discovered his dating history at a board game night, they told him he couldn’t be bisexual. “Bi men don’t exist,” they said. “You’re just a confused gay guy.” Travis, 34, had brought his girlfriend with him that night, but they started calling her his “roommate” after they found out he was bi.

Santiago got an even harsher reaction when he came out to his family. “‘Bisexual’ is just code for insincere gay man” is how he said one of his relatives reacted. “He didn’t use the term ‘gay man,’” 24-year-old Santiago told me, “but I won’t repeat slurs.”

In the past couple of months, I’ve heard dozens of stories like these from bisexual men who have had their sexual orientations invalidated by family members, friends, partners, and even strangers. Thomas was called a “fence-sitter” by a group of gay men at a bar. Shirodj was told that he was “just gay but not ready to come out of the closet.” Alexis had his bisexuality questioned by a lesbian teacher who he thought would be an ally. Many of these same men have been told that women are “all a little bi” or “secretly bi” but that men can only be gay or straight, nothing else.

In other words, bisexual men are like climate change: real but constantly denied.

A full 2% of men identified themselves as bisexual on a 2016 survey from the Centers for Disease Control, which means that there are at least three million bi guys in the United States alone—a number roughly equivalent to the population of Iowa. (On the same survey, 5.5% of women self-identified as bisexual, which comes out to roughly the same number of people as live in New Jersey.) The probability that an entire state’s worth of people would lie about being attracted to more than one gender is about as close to zero as you can get.

But the idea that only women can be bisexual is a persistent myth, one that has been decades in the making. And prejudice with such deep historical roots won’t disappear overnight.

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To understand why bisexual men are still being told that their sexual orientation doesn’t exist, we have to go back to the gay liberation movement of the late 1960s. That’s when Dr. H. Sharif “Herukhuti” Williams, a cultural studies scholar and co-editor of the anthology Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men, told me that male sexual fluidity got thrown under the bus in the name of gay rights—specifically white, upper-class gay rights.

“One of the byproducts of the gay liberation movement is this…solidifying of the [sexual] binary,” Herukhuti told me, citing the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s as a pre-Stonewall period of relatively unstigmatized sexual fluidity.

Four decades later, the gay liberation movement created a new type of man—the “modern gay man,” Herukhuti calls him—who was both “different from and similar to” the straight man. As Jillian Weiss, now the executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense Fund, wrote in a 2003 review of this same history, “gays and lesbians campaigned for acceptance by suggesting that they were ‘just like you,’ but with the single (but extremely significant exception) of [having] partners of the same sex.” Under this framework, attraction to a single gender was the unifying glue between gay men, lesbians, and straight people—bisexual people were just “confused.”

Bisexual people realized that they would have to form groups and coalitions of their own if they wanted cultural acceptance. But just as bisexual activism was gaining a foothold in the 1980s, the AIDS crisis hit, and everything changed—especially for bisexual men.

“AIDS forced certain bisexual men out [of the closet], it forced a lot of bisexual men back in, and then it killed off a number of them,” longtime bisexual activist and author Ron Suresha told me.Those deaths hindered the development of male bisexual activism at a particularly critical moment. “A number of men who would have been involved and were involved in the early years of the bi movement died—and they died early and they died quickly,” bisexual writer Mike Syzmanski recalled.

The AIDS crisis also gave rise to one of the most pernicious and persistent stereotypes about bisexual men, namely that they are the “bridge” for HIV transmission between gay men and heterosexual women. As Brian Dodge, a public health researcher at Indiana University, told me, this is a “warped notion” that has “never been substantiated by any real data.” The CDC, too, has debunked the same myth in the specific context of U.S. black communities: No, black men on the “down low” are not primarily responsible for high rates of HIV among black women.

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease.

In 2016, bisexual men are still feeling the effects of the virus and the misperceptions around it.

“We’re still underrepresented on the boards of almost all of the national bisexual organizations,” Suresha told me, referring to the fact that women occupy most of the key leadership positions in bisexual activism. And in a new, nationally representative study of attitudes toward bisexual people, Dodge and his research team found that 43% of respondents agreed —at least somewhat—with the statement: “People should be afraid to have sex with bisexual men because of HIV/STD risks.”

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease. Is it any wonder that they are still fighting to shed that false image today? It’s hard to convince people that you exist when they barely see you as human.

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It’s not that bisexual women have it easy. Both bisexual men and women are much less likely than gay men and lesbians to be out of the closet, with only 28% telling Pew that most of the important people in their life know about their orientation. Collectively, bisexual people also have some of the worst mental health outcomes in the LGBT community and their risk of intimate partner violence is disturbingly high. Bisexual people also face discrimination within the LGBT community while fending off accusations that their orientation excludes non-binary genders. (In response, bisexual educator Robyn Ochs defines “bisexuality” as attraction to “people of more than one sex and/or gender” rather than just to “men and women.”)

And on top of these general problems, bisexual women are routinely hypersexualized, stereotyped as “sluts,” dismissed as “experimenting,” and harassed on dating apps. Their bisexuality is reduced to a spectacle or waved away as a “phase.”

But it is still bisexual men who seem to have their very existence questioned more often.

Suresha pointed me to a 2005 New York Times article with the headline “Straight, Gay, Or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited,” the fallout of which he saw as “a disaster for bi people.” The article reported on a new study “cast[ing] doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men.” The study in question measured the genital arousal of a small sample of men and found, as the Times summarized, that “three-quarters of the [bisexual male] group had arousal patterns identical to those of gay men; the rest were indistinguishable from heterosexuals.”

“It got repeated and repeated in all sorts of media,” Suresha recalled. “People reported it in news briefs on the radio, in print, in magazines, all over the place.”

As the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force noted in its response to the article, the original study had some clear methodological limitations—only 33 self-identified bisexual men were included and participants were recruited through “gay-oriented magazines”—but the Times went ahead and reported that the research “lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation.”

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists. It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’” — Amy Andre, Huffington Post

The article fueled the devious narrative that male bisexuality was just homosexuality in disguise. The lived experiences of bisexual men don’t support that narrative—and neither does science—but its power comes from prejudice, not from solid evidence.

And unsurprisingly, the 2005 study’s conclusions did not survive the test of time. In fact, one of the co-authors of that study went on to co-author a 2011 study which found that “bisexual patterns of both subjective and genital arousal” did indeed occur among men. The New York Times Magazine later devoted a feature to the push for the 2011 study, briefly acknowledging the paper’s previous poor coverage. But many in the bisexual community were unimpressed that the scientific community was still being positioned as the authority on the existence of bisexual men.

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists,” Amy Andre wrote on the Huffington Post in response to the feature. “It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’”

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One of the most tragic things about society’s refusal to accept bisexual men is that we don’t even know why it is still so vehement. Dodge believes that his new study offers some hints—the persistent and widespread endorsement of the HIV “bridge” myth is alarming—but he told me that he would need “more qualitative and more focused research” before he could definitively state that HIV stigma is the primary factor driving negative attitudes toward bisexual men. (Research in this area is indeed sorely lacking. The last major study on the subject prior to the survey Dodge’s team conducted was published in 2002.)

In the meantime, bisexual advocates have developed plenty of compelling theories, many of them focused on the dominance of traditional masculinity. For example, Herukhuti explained that “we live in a society in which boundaries between men are policed because of patriarchy and sexism.” Men are expected to be “kings of their kingdom”—not to share their domain.

“For men to bridge those boundaries with each other—the only way that we can conceive of that is in the sense that these are ‘non-men,’” Herukhuti told me, adding that, in a patriarchal society, gay men are indeed seen as “non-men.” The refusal to accept that men can be bisexual, then, is partly a refusal to accept that someone who is bisexual can even be a man.

Many of the bisexual men I interviewed endorsed this same hypothesis. Kevin, 25, told me that “it’s seen as really unmanly to be attracted to men.” Another Kevin, 26, added that “the core concept of masculinity doesn’t leave room for anything besides extremes.” Justin, in his mid 20s, said that “men are one way and gay men are another way [but] bisexual men are this weird middle ground.”

Our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

And Michael, 28, added that bisexual men are “symbolically dangerous”—a “big interior threat to hetero masculinity” because of a shared attraction to women. It’s easy for a straight guy to differentiate himself from the modern gay man, but how can he reassure himself that he is nothing like his bisexual counterpart?

The answer is obvious: He can equate male bisexuality with homosexuality.

The logic needed to balance that equation, Herukhuti explained to me, is disturbingly close to the racist, Jim Crow-era “one-drop rule,” which designated anyone with the slightest bit of African ancestry as black for legal purposes.

“For a male to have had any kind of same-sex sexual experience, they are automatically designated as gay, based on that one-drop rule,” Herukhuti said. “And that taints them.”

To see that logic at work, look no further than the state of HIV research, much of which still groups gay and bisexual men together as MSM, or men who have sex with men. Dodge, who specializes in the area of HIV/AIDS, explained that “when a man reports sexual activity with another man, that becomes the recorded mode of transmission and there’s no data reporting about female or other partners.” Bisexual men have their identities erased—literally—from the resulting data.

“A really easy way to fix this,” Dodge added, “would be to just create a separate surveillance category.”

But when it comes to categories, our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

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The situation of bisexual men is not hopeless. Slowly but surely, they are expanding the horizons of masculinity. The silver lining in Dodge’s study, for example, is that there has been a decided “‘shift’ in attitudes toward bisexual men and women from negative to more neutral in the general population” over the last decade or so, although negative attitudes toward bisexual men were still “significantly greater” than the negativity directed at their female peers.

“Put the champagne on the ice,” Dodge joked. “We’re no longer at the very bottom of the barrel but we’ve still got a ways to go.”

That distance will likely be shortened by a rising generation that is far more tolerant of sexual fluidity than their predecessors. Respondents to Dodge’s survey who were under age 25 had more positive attitudes toward bisexuality, perhaps because so many of them openly identify as LGBTQ themselves—some as bisexual, some as pansexual, and some refusing labels altogether.

That growing acceptance is starting to be reflected in movies and on television, once forms of media that were, and still often are, notoriously hostile to bisexual men. A character named Darryl came out as bisexual with a myth-busting song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and, as GLAAD recently noted, other shows like Shadowhunters and Black Sails are starting to do bi male representation right. The HBO comedy Insecure even made biphobia into a powerful storyline when one straight female character, Molly, shunned her love interest when he told her that he once had oral sex with a guy in a college. But other shows, like House of Cards, are still using a male character’s bisexuality as a way to accentuate his villainy.

Ultimately, bisexual men themselves will continue to be the most powerful force for changing hearts and minds. I asked each bisexual man I interviewed what he would want the world to know about his sexual orientation. Some wanted to clear up specific misconceptions but so many of them simply wanted people to acknowledge that male bisexuality is not fake.

“It’s important that bisexuality be acknowledged as real,” said Martyn, 30, adding that “there’s only so long someone can hold on to a part of themselves that seems invisible before it starts to make them doubt their own sense of self.”

“I am happy being bisexual and I’m not looking for an answer,” said Dan, 19. “I’m not trying things out, I’m not using this as a placeholder to discover my identity. This is who I am. And I love it.”

Samantha Allen is a reporter for Fusion’s Sex+Life vertical. She has a PhD in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies from Emory University and was the 2013 John Money Fellow at the Kinsey Institute. Before joining Fusion, she was a tech and health reporter for The Daily Beast.

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arcticdementor · 3 years

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Imagine that the US was competing in a space race with some third world country, say Zambia, for whatever reason. Americans of course would have orders of magnitude more money to throw at the problem, and the most respected aerospace engineers in the world, with degrees from the best universities and publications in the top journals. Zambia would have none of this. What should our reaction be if, after a decade, Zambia had made more progress?

Obviously, it would call into question the entire field of aerospace engineering. What good were all those Google Scholar pages filled with thousands of citations, all the knowledge gained from our labs and universities, if Western science gets outcompeted by the third world?

For all that has been said about Afghanistan, no one has noticed that this is precisely what just happened to political science. The American-led coalition had countless experts with backgrounds pertaining to every part of the mission on their side: people who had done their dissertations on topics like state building, terrorism, military-civilian relations, and gender in the military. General David Petraeus, who helped sell Obama on the troop surge that made everything in Afghanistan worse, earned a PhD from Princeton and was supposedly an expert in “counterinsurgency theory.” Ashraf Ghani, the just deposed president of the country, has a PhD in anthropology from Columbia and is the co-author of a book literally called Fixing Failed States. This was his territory. It’s as if Wernher von Braun had been given all the resources in the world to run a space program and had been beaten to the moon by an African witch doctor.

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Phil Tetlock’s work on experts is one of those things that gets a lot of attention, but still manages to be underrated. In his 2005 Expert Political Judgment: How Good Is It? How Can We Know?, he found that the forecasting abilities of subject-matter experts were no better than educated laymen when it came to predicting geopolitical events and economic outcomes. As Bryan Caplan points out, we shouldn’t exaggerate the results here and provide too much fodder for populists; the questions asked were chosen for their difficulty, and the experts were being compared to laymen who nonetheless had met some threshold of education and competence.

At the same time, we shouldn’t put too little emphasis on the results either. They show that “expertise” as we understand it is largely fake. Should you listen to epidemiologists or economists when it comes to COVID-19? Conventional wisdom says “trust the experts.” The lesson of Tetlock (and the Afghanistan War), is that while you certainly shouldn’t be getting all your information from your uncle’s Facebook Wall, there is no reason to start with a strong prior that people with medical degrees know more than any intelligent person who honestly looks at the available data.

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I think one of the most interesting articles of the COVID era was a piece called “Beware of Facts Man” by Annie Lowrey, published in The Atlantic.

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The reaction to this piece was something along the lines of “ha ha, look at this liberal who hates facts.” But there’s a serious argument under the snark, and it’s that you should trust credentials over Facts Man and his amateurish takes. In recent days, a 2019 paper on “Epistemic Trespassing” has been making the rounds on Twitter. The theory that specialization is important is not on its face absurd, and probably strikes most people as natural. In the hard sciences and other places where social desirability bias and partisanship have less of a role to play, it’s probably a safe assumption. In fact, academia is in many ways premised on the idea, as we have experts in “labor economics,” “state capacity,” “epidemiology,” etc. instead of just having a world where we select the smartest people and tell them to work on the most important questions.

But what Tetlock did was test this hypothesis directly in the social sciences, and he found that subject-matter experts and Facts Man basically tied.

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Interestingly, one of the best defenses of “Facts Man” during the COVID era was written by Annie Lowrey’s husband, Ezra Klein. His April 2021 piece in The New York Times showed how economist Alex Tabarrok had consistently disagreed with the medical establishment throughout the pandemic, and was always right. You have the “Credentials vs. Facts Man” debate within one elite media couple. If this was a movie they would’ve switched the genders, but since this is real life, stereotypes are confirmed and the husband and wife take the positions you would expect.

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In the end, I don’t think my dissertation contributed much to human knowledge, making it no different than the vast majority of dissertations that have been written throughout history. The main reason is that most of the time public opinion doesn’t really matter in foreign policy. People generally aren’t paying attention, and the vast majority of decisions are made out of public sight. How many Americans know or care that North Macedonia and Montenegro joined NATO in the last few years? Most of the time, elites do what they want, influenced by their own ideological commitments and powerful lobby groups. In times of crisis, when people do pay attention, they can be manipulated pretty easily by the media or other partisan sources.

If public opinion doesn’t matter in foreign policy, why is there so much study of public opinion and foreign policy? There’s a saying in academia that “instead of measuring what we value, we value what we can measure.” It’s easy to do public opinion polls and survey experiments, as you can derive a hypothesis, get an answer, and make it look sciency in charts and graphs. To show that your results have relevance to the real world, you cite some papers that supposedly find that public opinion matters, maybe including one based on a regression showing that under very specific conditions foreign policy determined the results of an election, and maybe it’s well done and maybe not, but again, as long as you put the words together and the citations in the right format nobody has time to check any of this. The people conducting peer review on your work will be those who have already decided to study the topic, so you couldn’t find a more biased referee if you tried.

Thus, to be an IR scholar, the two main options are you can either use statistical methods that don’t work, or actually find answers to questions, but those questions are so narrow that they have no real world impact or relevance. A smaller portion of academics in the field just produce postmodern-generator style garbage, hence “feminist theories of IR.” You can also build game theoretic models that, like the statistical work in the field, are based on a thousand assumptions that are probably false and no one will ever check. The older tradition of Kennan and Mearsheimer is better and more accessible than what has come lately, but the field is moving away from that and, like a lot of things, towards scientism and identity politics.

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At some point, I decided that if I wanted to study and understand important questions, and do so in a way that was accessible to others, I’d have a better chance outside of the academy. Sometimes people thinking about an academic career reach out to me, and ask for advice. For people who want to go into the social sciences, I always tell them not to do it. If you have something to say, take it to Substack, or CSPI, or whatever. If it’s actually important and interesting enough to get anyone’s attention, you’ll be able to find funding.

If you think your topic of interest is too esoteric to find an audience, know that my friend Razib Khan, who writes about the Mongol empire, Y-chromosomes and haplotypes and such, makes a living doing this. If you want to be an experimental physicist, this advice probably doesn’t apply, and you need lab mates, major funding sources, etc. If you just want to collect and analyze data in a way that can be done without institutional support, run away from the university system.

The main problem with academia is not just the political bias, although that’s another reason to do something else with your life. It’s the entire concept of specialization, which holds that you need some secret tools or methods to understand what we call “political science” or “sociology,” and that these fields have boundaries between them that should be respected in the first place. Quantitative methods are helpful and can be applied widely, but in learning stats there are steep diminishing returns.

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Outside of political science, are there other fields that have their own equivalents of “African witch doctor beats von Braun to the moon” or “the Taliban beats the State Department and the Pentagon” facts to explain? Yes, and here are just a few examples.

Consider criminology. More people are studying how to keep us safe from other humans than at any other point in history. But here’s the US murder rate between 1960 and 2018, not including the large uptick since then.

So basically, after a rough couple of decades, we’re back to where we were in 1960. But we’re actually much worse, because improvements in medical technology are keeping a lot of people that would’ve died 60 years ago alive. One paper from 2002 says that the murder rate would be 5 times higher if not for medical developments since 1960. I don’t know how much to trust this, but it’s surely true that we’ve made some medical progress since that time, and doctors have been getting a lot of experience from all the shooting victims they have treated over the decades. Moreover, we’re much richer than we were in 1960, and I’m sure spending on public safety has increased. With all that, we are now about tied with where we were almost three-quarters of a century ago, a massive failure.

What about psychology? As of 2016, there were 106,000 licensed psychologists in the US. I wish I could find data to compare to previous eras, but I don’t think anyone will argue against the idea that we have more mental health professionals and research psychologists than ever before. Are we getting mentally healthier? Here’s suicides in the US from 1981 to 2016

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What about education? I’ll just defer to Freddie deBoer’s recent post on the topic, and Scott Alexander on how absurd the whole thing is.

Maybe there have been larger cultural and economic forces that it would be unfair to blame criminology, psychology, and education for. Despite no evidence we’re getting better at fighting crime, curing mental problems, or educating children, maybe other things have happened that have outweighed our gains in knowledge. Perhaps the experts are holding up the world on their shoulders, and if we hadn’t produced so many specialists over the years, thrown so much money at them, and gotten them to produce so many peer reviews papers, we’d see Middle Ages-levels of violence all across the country and no longer even be able to teach children to read. Like an Ayn Rand novel, if you just replaced the business tycoons with those whose work has withstood peer review.

Or you can just assume that expertise in these fields is fake. Even if there are some people doing good work, either they are outnumbered by those adding nothing or even subtracting from what we know, or our newly gained understanding is not being translated into better policies. Considering the extent to which government relies on experts, if the experts with power are doing things that are not defensible given the consensus in their fields, the larger community should make this known and shun those who are getting the policy questions so wrong. As in the case of the Afghanistan War, this has not happened, and those who fail in the policy world are still well regarded in their larger intellectual community.

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Those opposed to cancel culture have taken up the mantle of “intellectual diversity” as a heuristic, but there’s nothing valuable about the concept itself. When I look at the people I’ve come to trust, they are diverse on some measures, but extremely homogenous on others. IQ and sensitivity to cost-benefit considerations seem to me to be unambiguous goods in figuring out what is true or what should be done in a policy area. You don’t add much to your understanding of the world by finding those with low IQs who can’t do cost-benefit analysis and adding them to the conversation.

One of the clearest examples of bias in academia and how intellectual diversity can make the conversation better is the work of Lee Jussim on stereotypes. Basically, a bunch of liberal academics went around saying “Conservatives believe in differences between groups, isn’t that terrible!” Lee Jussim, as someone who is relatively moderate, came along and said “Hey, let’s check to see whether they’re true!” This story is now used to make the case for intellectual diversity in the social sciences.

Yet it seems to me that isn’t the real lesson here. Imagine if, instead of Jussim coming forward and asking whether stereotypes are accurate, Osama bin Laden had decided to become a psychologist. He’d say “The problem with your research on stereotypes is that you do not praise Allah the all merciful at the beginning of all your papers.” If you added more feminist voices, they’d say something like “This research is problematic because it’s all done by men.” Neither of these perspectives contributes all that much. You’ve made the conversation more diverse, but dumber. The problem with psychology was a very specific one, in that liberals are particularly bad at recognizing obvious facts about race and sex. So yes, in that case the field could use more conservatives, not “more intellectual diversity,” which could just as easily make the field worse as make it better. And just because political psychology could use more conservative representation when discussing stereotypes doesn’t mean those on the right always add to the discussion rather than subtract from it. As many religious Republicans oppose the idea of evolution, we don’t need the “conservative” position to come and help add a new perspective to biology.

The upshot is intellectual diversity is a red herring, usually a thinly-veiled plea for more conservatives. Nobody is arguing for more Islamists, Nazis, or flat earthers in academia, and for good reason. People should just be honest about the ways in which liberals are wrong and leave it at that.

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The failure in Afghanistan was mind-boggling. Perhaps never in the history of warfare had there been such a resource disparity between two sides, and the US-backed government couldn’t even last through the end of the American withdrawal. One can choose to understand this failure through a broad or narrow lens. Does it only tell us something about one particular war or is it a larger indictment of American foreign policy?

The main argument of this essay is we’re not thinking big enough. The American loss should be seen as a complete discrediting of the academic understanding of “expertise,” with its reliance on narrowly focused peer reviewed publications and subject matter knowledge as the way to understand the world. Although I don’t develop the argument here, I think I could make the case that expertise isn’t just fake, it actually makes you worse off because it gives you a higher level of certainty in your own wishful thinking. The Taliban probably did better by focusing their intellectual energies on interpreting the Holy Quran and taking a pragmatic approach to how they fought the war rather than proceeding with a prepackaged theory of how to engage in nation building, which for the West conveniently involved importing its own institutions.

A discussion of the practical implications of all this, or how we move from a world of specialization to one with better elites, is also for another day. For now, I’ll just emphasize that for those thinking of choosing an academic career to make universities or the peer review system function better, my advice is don’t. The conversation is much more interesting, meaningful, and oriented towards finding truth here on the outside.

#richard hanania #substack #afghanistan #read the whole thing

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kafkasmelomania · 3 years

Audio

June 8, 2021: BYENARY by BYENARY

*Bandcamp here

Because it’s Pride Month:

Here’s some queer history from around the world, not just the United States.

Here are some LGBTQIA+ GoFundMe campaigns: Rent Fund For Black LGBT Family, Help Roze get somewhere safe (Non-Binary LGBTQ), Survival and Gender Affirming Needs for Black Enby, College Fund for a Black Trans Woman, Tito’s top surgery and recovery fund, Omi’s Transition Fund: Health, Housing, & Security, Help Emmett Pay for Emergency Surgery

If you’d like to get involved with stopping the atrocities against Palestine, here’s where you can start (text in bold for readability):

This Carrd is full of information, petitions, and places to donate.

Here are some organizations to which you can donate. This post now includes a list of corporations to boycott.

Here is some information about the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund and a list of other organizations.

Decolonize Palestine has an FAQ about Palestine here.

This is a list of actions you can take (somewhat UK-specific). This is a reading list of texts with more background information.

UK petitions: This is a petition for the UK government to formally recognize the State of Palestine. This is a petition to introduce sanctions against Israel. This is a petition to condemn Israel for their treatment of Palestine and Palestinians.

Here’s the Wikipedia overview of the current iteration of the crisis.

If you’re curious about the United States’s involvement: this is a report about U.S. foreign aid to Israel. This is the Wikipedia page for Palestine-United States relations and this is the Wikipedia page for Israel-United States relations.

Here are some perspectives from on the ground in Gaza. This is also explains why spreading the Palestinian point of view. is so important.

This is one Jewish person’s explanation of the conflation of Jewish identity with the modern Israeli state. They mention the Nakba, which is important – per Wikipedia, “the Nakba, […] also known as the Palestinian Catastrophe, was the destruction of Palestinian society and homeland in 1948, and the permanent displacement of a majority of the Palestinian people.”

This Vox video gives a brief overview of the conflict from its inception until the present day, although it’s from 2016, so it’s not entirely up to date. This CrashCourse video does the same, and I think it’s actually a little better than the Vox video because within the first minute they shut down everyone who claims that this is a religious conflict. That video is also not entirely up to date, as it is from 2015.

This post has some resources with information about the history of Palestine, Israel’s occupation of Palestine, and updates about the current situation.

Vox explains the history of the Israeli settlements in Palestine in this video.

Vice News has a series of videos entitled “The Israeli-Palestine Conflict”. Here are several that I particularly recommend:

*“Life Inside Gaza After Nearly 2 Weeks of Bombings”: This video from June 4, 2021 shows the aftermath of eleven days of bombing in Gaza.

*“Israel Is Vaccinating ‘Everyone’ – Besides 5 Million Palestinians”: This video from January 28, 2021 is about Israel’s vaccination program. As of the publishing of this video, Israeli settlers in Palestine were getting the vaccine, but it was nearly impossible for Palestinians to get it.

*“Why Evangelical Christians Love Israel”: This video from May 15, 2018 (which I believe was filmed some time prior to that date) explains why evangelical Christians are often Zionists. This is highly informative and I really recommend that you watch this in order to get some insight into why Israel is such a big talking point for the religious right.

This Vox video from October 6, 2016, discusses one way that Palestinians are being pushed out of East Jerusalem: gentrification. (I recommend that you watch the video about why Evangelical Christians love Israel in conjunction with this video in order to understand where the international money is coming from.)

Do you like podcasts? Here are some podcast episodes about Palestine.

Here are some miscellaneous resources for helping Palestine.

Black lives matter and here are some ways you can get involved in the fight against racism, specifically anti-black racism (text in bold for readability):

This Linktree and this Carrd are full of ways to confront and fight against anti-black racism: places to donate, advice for protesting, educational resources.

This post is specifically about Daunte Wright and how to help his family. This is Daunte Wright’s memorial fund.

The Minnesota Freedom Fund is doing good work, and since so many people have been recognizing that work and donating to them, they ask that you instead donate to Families Supporting Families Against Police Violence, the Racial Justice Network, Communities United Against Police Brutality, the Minneapolis NAACP, the Council on American-Islamic Relations in Minneapolis, and the Black Immigrant Collective. You can also donate to the Bail Project, which operates in multiple states.

Other organizations to which you can donate are the Black Trans Advocacy Coalition, the NAACP, the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the Okra Project, the Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative, For The Gworls, G.L.I.T.S., the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, the Black Trans Travel Fund, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and the Black Trans Femmes in the Arts Collective.

GoFundMe: Justice for Breonna Taylor, In Memory of Jamarion Robinson, Rent Fund For Black LGBT Family, Esperanza Spalding’s BIPOC Artist Sanctuary, Survival and Gender Affirming Needs for Black Enby, Jaya and Dylan’s Move out Fund, Janet and David’s apartment burned down, Help Revay get to medical school, Help Dai Parker Get Back into College Fund, Help Send Howard to Berklee College of Music, A Home for Harriett’s Bookshop

(via https://open.spotify.com/album/43rIalSUK09aueuDllsari?si=C4E_VG5_Tuq3uuY33fBniQ)

#byenary #self titled #pride 2021 #pride month #queercore #punk #punk rock #hardcore punk #2020s music #2020 #english #english language #england #british music #album of the day #music rec #album rec

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ailuronymy · 5 years

Text

Guest Warriors-ify: 10%+ (Nature of Nature's Art)

Warning: spoilers for the main comic but also for the Addendum, which is print-only and not available to read online.

Rule - Lilac tom with long, fuzzy fur. Still powerful despite his advancing age. A highly respected and decorated senior warrior who has mentored several apprentices in his long life. Aggressive and cruel, his mentorship consists of “tough love” and perfectionism.

For unknown reasons, he’s has always had a powerful connection with StarClan and, through patience and perseverance over many moons, can train himself to perform supernatural acts.

He grew up in a time where rogues were despised but the clan has since become, by his standards, much more relaxed about them being on the territory as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. In retaliation, he painstakingly over several years developed his most powerful ability yet: the ability to remove one’s soul from their body without doing any damage. This leaves behind a hollow, walking husk of a cat, whose heart still beats despite it being an empty shell. He calls this process “vacating,” and the bodies “vacated.”

He makes plans to not only kill the rogues, but repurpose their empty bodies to serve the clan by training them to hunt/fight, and has recruited his best friend to help. He lures the rogues in by way of charming them, describing the community and security a clan offers, and then telling them they can join if they just hold still let him do this one painless little thing. His most recent capture is a mother, who he has already vacated, and her kits, who he’s waiting to open their eyes first. (name: Ashfang)

Meander - Unusually tall, pale ginger classic tabby shorthair tom. A half-clan cat who never knew his father because he was a rogue, and who looks up to his mentor, Ashfang, as a father instead. Believes in being kind to everyone and taking failures in as much stride as his low self-esteem can manage. He has a powerful sense of justice and can’t stand to see others be bullied or harmed. Unfortunately, he’s well into adulthood but still an apprentice due to his inability to pay attention and retain what he’s learnt.

Desperate to finally become a warrior and stop disappointing Ashfang, he slowly invents a meditation technique that greatly improves his attention and even gives him superhuman (supercat??) multitasking abilities - at the cost of burning up his braincells when he uses it.

Despite knowing the danger, when he finds out his mentor and mentor’s friend are doing inhumane things to rogues, he uses his meditation technique to fight Ashfang with the intent of subduing and dragging him into camp for the leader to punish him.

Unfortunately, right when he has Ashfang pinned, Ashfang vacates him, rendering him a walking corpse. And then the battered, weakened Ashfang drowns himself to falsely accuse the corpse of his murder.

The ensuing trial changes clan law to make killing rogues officially illegal, as well as gives the whole clan an existential crisis about the nature of souls. (name: Flamepaw)

Polarizing - Chocolate burmese shorthair tom, short and stout. An ex-medicine cat who switched to the life of a warrior after a fatal injury took his mother’s life. Not much younger than Ashfang and considered him his hero when he was young, now his closest companion.

Ashfang confided his plans for the rogues to him, in need of someone who understood physiology well and could train things that don’t have thought. He took up Ashfang’s offer in an instant, thinking him a genius, and became his right hand. Despite the fact that killing non-clan cats who’re on their territory isn’t technically illegal, due to the disturbing nature of HOW they’re killing them and what they’re doing with the bodies, they agree to keep it a secret until the bodies are well-trained and can prove their usefulness.

Despite his hatred of rogues and wholehearted belief in Ashfang’s superiority, when the trial happens, he is overcome with subconscious guilt and suffers a non-fatal heart attack as a result, which greatly harms his case. Since what he did wasn’t technically illegal yet, he’s not exiled, but is punished by way of being banned from mentorship. (name: Volepelt)

Quintet - Dilute calico shorthair molly. She’s sharp-witted, tactical, ambitious, short-fused, and an excellent fighter. Flamepaw’s best friend and Volepelt’s apprentice (though tantalizingly on the cusp of warriorhood). She’s driven by an obsession with becoming leader spurned on by her strict family’s high expectations and conditional love, and plagued by survivor’s guilt from being the only kit not-stillborn from her litter; she claims to be able to speak to her littermates’ ghosts but it’s just a coping mechanism.

Despite her obsession with staying on the straight-and-narrow to become leader and her belief that rogues are none of their business, when Flamepaw rushes in to save a litter of rogue kits from their mentors, she fears for his life and joins him in the fight. Later, she proves their innocence in trial.

Even though she was vindicated of wrongdoing, her family still disowned her for “acting out” and told her not to bother aiming for the leader role anymore, stripping her of her only ambition and defining trait, which sent her into a spiraling identity crisis. She lost her eye in the fight and took the name change as a way of leaving behind her prior identity. She then withdrew from her clanmates, and more or less pretends to be a different cat - which everyone lowkey goes with because the ability to tear souls from bodies freaked them out and the whole clan would really rather not mention that whole ordeal unless they have to. (name: Mottlepaw, later Oneeye)

Syncope - Cream mackerel tabby shorthair tom. Laidback and friendly, always willing to lend a hand as long as it doesn’t mean too much work. He’s Flamepaw’s other best friend who aided in the development of his meditation technique. His gentle, joking nature makes him the perfect counterpart to Mottlepaw, who he assists in proving the innocence of. He became an apprentice at the same time as Flamepaw but earned his warrior name on-time. (name: Goldencloud)

Fiat - Dark cream mackerel tabby shorthair. Short-tempered molly who became a medicine cat more out of fascination with anatomy and physiology than out of any actual desire to heal. Considers the body to be something almost sacred and is quick to anger at anyone who mistreats themselves. Heals and then yells at Flamepaw for his dangerous meditation technique after it makes him faint and damages his ability to speak; later, during the trial, she’s the one who proves that Flamepaw is braindead, and seeks permission to keep and run experiments on Ashfang’s victims’ corpses. She gets permission but Mottlepaw/Oneye steals Flamepaw’s body and sets it loose just outside the clan’s territory before she can get it settled. Goldencloud has a crush on her. (name Hornetleaf)

Keratin - Small, solid gray longhair tom. Senior warrior of another clan who made friends with Ashfang during a gathering, where they talked about Ashfang’s plans to use walking corpses as hunters/fighters for his clan. They then struck up a deal: he’ll secretly send out his son/apprentice to meet with Ashfang and Volepelt twice a week, where he’ll watch/help Ashfang “vacate” rogues and try learn how to do it himself. (name: Grayclaw)

bunny child - Tiny, solid lilac shorthair tomkit. Grayclaw’s son and his apprentice, who was promised awesome clan-saving powers if he meets at the border with his dad’s friend twice a week. He has good intentions in doing right by his clan and doesn’t fully understand that Ashfang is committing murder. He even goes as far as “protecting” the kits from Flamepaw when he goes to rescue them. Harbors a childish, blind hatred of rogues purely because that’s how his father told him he should feel. (name: Dawnpaw, later Dawnfur)

coyote pups - The five rogue kits rescued from Ashfang and Volepelt’s schemes were adopted and raised by Oneeye. The clan was in so much shock after what happened that the kits were quietly accepted as members, and treated with the same sort of “I won’t mention it if you don’t” that they treat Oneeye and Volepelt with. All of them are solid cinnamon but I honestly can’t tell what genders they all are.

Oneeye used to tell them what happened to Flamepaw as a fantasy bedtime story, but now that they’re apprentices, they’re learning about the trial from their mentors, and have realized that the story their mother used to tell was true and that they ARE those rescued kits. (names: Deerpaw, Harepaw, Brownpaw, Mudpaw, and Elmpaw)

The coyote mother, the maned wolf mother (from the Addendum), and Meander’s daughter (also from the Addendum) are rogues and don’t get warrior names, so I didn’t include them here.

Sidenote: If no one catches that I gave Flamepaw’s murderer the prefix Ash- I will be very sad.

#warriorsify #submission

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hollywayblog · 6 years

Text

How “The Umbrella Academy” Surprised Me

In many ways, good and bad.

This is a spoiler-free review of season one of The Umbrella Academy

I remember when The Umbrella Academy comics came out. It was 2007 and I was a broke thirteen-year-old living in suburban Australia (a cultural wasteland!) so I never actually read them, but as a rabidly obsessed My Chemical Romance/Gerard Way fan, I managed to fold The Umbrella Academy into my identity anyway. I’m not sure exactly how that works, but hey. Adolescents are powerful creatures.

As a distinguished almost-twenty-five-year-old (I’d like to acknowledge that I took a small break here to have an existential crisis) my walls are free of band posters and my eyes are no longer encircled with that thick black eyeliner that always managed to look three days old and slept in, but I still got kind of a thrill when I learned that The Umbrella Academy was being adapted into a Netflix show. It was something I had always assumed I would end up reading, back in the depths of my emo phase (which is probably more accurately defined as a My Chemical Romance phase) but then just kind of forgot about. So, great, I’m simultaneously being reminded that this thing exists, and freed of the nostalgic obligation to go seek out the comic and read it. As much as I love reading, comics have just never been my thing.

Then the trailer came out. Honestly, it kind of killed my enthusiasm. It just looked kind of generic. Apocalypse. Superpowers. Bold characters. Lots of action. My takeaway was a big ol’ “Meh.” Frankly, without my pre-existing attachment to Gerard Way and the very idea of The Umbrella Academy, I highly doubt I would have given it a chance - not because it looked inherently bad, but just because I’m a hard sell on the kind of show it appeared to be.

But it’s Gerard Way, man. I had to watch at least one episode.

The Umbrella Academy centres around the famous-yet-mysterious Hargreeves family. The seven children - six of whom have special powers - were adopted by Reginald Hargreeves, a cold and severe patriarch who didn’t even deign to name them. He made them into “The Umbrella Adademy,” a crime-fighting squad of tiny children who would later dissolve after a tragic incident. Now they’re grown up, and Dad’s dead. His spare and tense memorial is what brings the adult Umbrella Academy back together, and this is where the show kicks off.

We’re treated to a rather clumsy beginning; a gripping opening scene followed by an unimaginative montage. We get a glimpse of each of the Hargreeves’ regular lives, leading up to and including them learning of their father’s death. It’s a heavy-handed introductory roll-call, complete with on-screen name cards. It’s a baffling waste of time, considering we don’t learn anything in this montage that isn’t later reiterated through dialogue or behaviour. We don’t need to see Klaus leaving rehab to know he’s an addict. We don’t need to see Allison on the red carpet to know she’s a movie star. It dragged, even on a first watch not knowing that the whole thing would be ultimately pointless, and I’m surprised no one thought to cut it and let us go in cold with everyone arriving at the mansion for the memorial - an opening that would have both set the tone and let us get to know the characters much more naturally. Maybe it feels like I’m focusing too much on this, and that’s only because it gave me a bad first impression - and I want anyone who reacts the same way I did to stick with it. It really does get better.

The further we got from the montage the less gimmicky it felt, and I started to sense some sort of something that I liked about this show. Stylistically it was interesting, and there seemed to be an underlying depth; room for these characters to be more than brooding ex-vigilantes with daddy issues. I was intrigued enough by the end of episode one to keep watching, and was gratified as the series went on and truly delved into those depths. There was a memorable turning point for me around episode five, where Klaus (the wonderful Robert Sheehan) was given space in the runtime to visibly, viscerally feel the effects of something he had just been through. It sounds so obvious, and so simple, but it’s something that is frustratingly glossed over so often in fiction. You know. Fallout. Feelings.

It wasn’t just that moment, though. Prior episodes laid the groundwork, developing not just Klaus but all the Hargreeves. Each character feels real and grounded, each of them uniquely good, uniquely bad, uniquely damaged by their upbringing. It’s this last point I particularly appreciate, this subtle realism in the show’s execution of abused characters. We see how siblings growing up with the same parents does not necessarily mean they got the same childhood, endured the same abuse, or that their trauma will manifest in the same ways. And certainly, it’s important to see the different coping mechanisms each of them have developed. Furthermore, there is a lot more to each of these characters than just their trauma. There are seven distinct personalities going on, and I have to applaud the writers for this commitment to character. It was largely this that kept me hooked (I’m such a sucker for good characters), and to my own surprise very invested in the way things unfolded.

I love the tone, which found a cool rhythm after the pilot. The pacing was decent and the character development balanced well against the plot. I like the little quirks that remind you of the show’s comic book roots, like Pogo, the talking ape and Five, the grouchy old man in a teenager’s body.

Weirdly, I like the apocalypse stuff, which they managed to put their own spin on despite it being such a played-out trope at this point. I like that the show found small ways to go in unexpected directions, even if the overarching plot and big twists weren’t all that surprising. And most of all I love that in a world saturated with forgettable media, I woke up today still thinking about this show.

Even if not all of my thoughts were so generous.

See, for everything I love about this show, there are also quite a few things that rubbed me up the wrong way. I can’t list them all without going into spoilers, but I think it needs to be said that there are like, a fair few problematic elements in this show. I couldn’t help but notice that while women and people of colour are the minority in this cast, they also seem to cop the worst abuse. Only two of the Hargreeves siblings are female. One of them has no powers and the other’s power is influence (a non-physical power). Their “Mom” is literally a robot created for the sole purpose of caregiving; she dresses and acts like the epitome of a submissive 50s housewife. The Hargreeves sisters are also the ones most likely to be left out or ignored when it comes to making decisions, with one of them even literally losing her voice at one point (yikes!). Beyond that we have some truly disturbing imagery of violence being inflicted on women of colour almost exclusively by white men, and the fact that the only asian character is um… well, he’s literally dead. Before the show even starts.

Overall the problem is not just insufficient diversity, with white men taking up most of the screen time, dialogue and leadership actions, but the way that the few female and non-white characters are depicted.

These are all depictions that, in a vacuum, would be innocuous. I mean, just looking at the root of many of the show’s problems exemplifies that - the root being that all of these characters were white in the source material (uh, a problem in itself, obviously). It wasn’t a problem, for example, when Dead Ben was not the only Asian character but just another white Hargreeves sibling. And wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where you could race or gender-swap any character and have everything mean - or not mean - the same thing. But life is more complicated than that. Art is more complicated than that.

Honestly, I’m not sure if we should give props to the developers of The Umbrella Academy for diversifying their cast when the fact is they did so - and I say this gently - ignorantly and lazily. Race-swapping willy-nilly and leaving it at that ignores a lot of complex issues surrounding the nuances of portraying minorities in fiction, and leaves room for these kinds of harmful and hurtful tropes to carelessly manifest. So many storytellers don’t want to hear it, but let me tell you writer to writer that it does matter if the person being choked is white or black, male or female, trans or cis. It does matter who’s doing the choking. Camera angles matter. Dialogue matters. It’s all a language that conveys a message - about power and dominance and vulnerability in the real world. Because art doesn’t exist inside a vacuum, as inconvenient as that might be. Having the empathy to recognise that will actually make us better storytellers.

In shedding light on these issues, I am not dragging this show. I am not condemning it. And although it is problematic in itself, I’m not even saying it’s problematic to enjoy it. I’m pulling apart the lasagne, looking at the layers, poking and prodding at the individual ingredients and saying, “Hey, the chef probably should have known better than to put pineapple in here. Maybe let’s not do that next time.” I’m also saying, “When I get a mouthful with pineapple in it, I don’t enjoy that. It’s jarring and unpleasant. But it doesn’t ruin the whole meal for me.”

I’m getting better at allowing myself to dislike something on the basis of its shitty themes. To not have to justify myself when something is problematic in a way that just makes it too uncomfortable for me to watch. That wasn’t the case here. I won’t lie; the bad stuff was no afterthought for me. That kind of thing really gets to me. It does ruin a lot for me. But in this case, the show redeemed itself in other ways; mostly by just being a compelling story with characters I liked. I’m trying not to justify that too hard either.

So I liked The Umbrella Academy, and I hope it gets a second season. I also hope that the creators will listen to people like me who want to be able to enjoy their show even more and create more consciously in the future.

And please let Vanya be a lesbian.

The Umbrella Academy is out now on Netflix

Watch this show if you like: witty characters, iconic characters, complex characters, mysteries, dark themes, superpowers, vigilantes, comics, dark humour, epic stories, shows about families, stylistic TV shows, ensemble casts, character dynamics, dramedies

Possible triggers (don’t read if you care about spoilers): suicide, child abuse, claustrophobia, addiction, violence, violence against women, violence against women of colour, death, torture, incest, self-harm, pregnancy/childbirth, kidnapping/abduction, blood, mental illness, medication/themes of medication necessity, blood, manipulation/gaslighting, homicide, forced captivity, guns, hospitalisation, medical procedures, needles, PTSD, prison rape reference (1).

Please feel free to message me if I failed to include a relevant trigger warning and I’ll include it.

#the umbrella academy #review #tropes #diversity #representation

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jackednephi · 6 years

Note

Hello! Apologies for sending in an ask so late. I just wanted to reach out because I'm not in such a great place right now. I was wondering, if you found out about your being queer at a fairly young age, how you managed to stay in the closet?? (And, you know, remaining alright, mentally) my parents are extremely homophobic, and it's tearing me apart, especially because I really care about them. Any advice would be great, even if it's not much. Best of luck in everything, and thank you so much ♥️

so tumblr doesn’t always let me know when i have messages >(

that said, i’ll do my best to respond but like it’s going to be long and convoluted so imma include a cut to save dash space. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND i am polyamorous, agender/trans, pansexual, and demiromantic. so like there are various facets of my queerness and they all played into my life differently

feel free to skip close to the end for like “how to stealth” if you don’t have the spoons for like a 20 page autobiography with annotated bibliography

so finding out about being queer is a question that has both a yes and a no answer. it’s more like i was experiencing queerness but didn’t have words for it, then repressed it, then dealt with it. so it’s less “i knew ever since i could form words to describe it” and more my journey was in no way linear

see when i was little, like really little yknow when you start getting your first crushes right around prek and stuff, i had all kinds of crushes. i had crushes on multiple people at once and this has continued straight into adulthood. so, like, sign one of being poly. my friends would have one person they would hardcore crush on whereas i was crushing on people around me, characters in fiction, just like so many people. i remember listing crushes in my journals every now and then and i’d have lists of upwards and over like 20. :/ so i am in no way surprised i’m poly

so far as my sexuality, i didn’t realize i was feeling for certain female friends what i was feeling for boys. partly because i’d be like “oh i want to hold his hand” and because i saw m/f couples holding hands all the time i was like ah! yes! obviously romantic! but i never saw any f/f relationships so i didn’t make the connection that the hand holding wasn’t a friend feeling. i had INTENSE crushes on girls too, just as intense as on boys. but i was used to the media portraying rival nonsense like hannah montana and whatnot so i was like “oh. this is my situation”

there was also a lot of repressing going on because i just didn’t see that reflected around me from media to adults. all i saw were m/f relationships. i knew gay people existed but i thought they were all gay men. when i was somewhere around like 10 or so, give or take, i realized i was crushing on my best friend at the time (a girl) and was like “no. absolutely not” shoved that as far back as possible and ignored it

my demiromanticism is more born of trauma than me being born that way and that’s ok. one of my close friends found out about one of my crushes in the second grade and i was RELENTLESSLY bullied for it. every time i got a crush on somebody, i would end up HARDCORE bullied or they would get weird and things would be awful. i also had boys shove their crushes onto me and not take no for an answer. like i’d have my bra snapped painfully, bugs shoved down my shirt, my stuff vandalized, hair pulled just because i wasn’t interested

like when i was 12, somebody started a rumor that i was pregnant :/ and that’s not even covering my abusive ex or the sexual assaults so like everything kind of came together for that

then there’s my gender. which is its own bucket of worms and kind of played in with my sexuality in certain ways

my parents are boomers, born in 50 and 58. “but vann,” you say, confused “you were born at the end of 94″ and you are correct! i inherited pcos from my mother so i’ll let you put 2 and 3 together as to why i was born in 94 and my brother in 96. i say that because, unlike their peers, they raised my brothers and i radically different from the accepted cultural norms

if i wanted to wear baggy shorts, that was cool. pretty dresses? whatever. same (kind of) went for my brothers. if they wanted to spend a lot of time on their appearance, that was fine and not shamed at all. in fact, it was encouraged because it made them feel good. i played with army men, barbie dolls, cars, a train set, tools, swords, sports stuff, had tea parties with stuffed animals, drew and crafted, etc etc. my younger brother played house with me (and often suggested it himself) and would play with my baby dolls. like had my younger brother wanted a doll, they would’ve gotten it for him. but i had them so he didn’t bother asking for one cause he could borrow mine

so like there was no gender segregation of toys or activities. and that sounds kind of like the bare minimum of parenting but you have to remember that both of my parents grew up in the rural south as boomers. gender roles were violently enforced for them. but they didn’t think about enforcing them for us so far as play and, to a certain extent, dress/grooming was concerned. this created a safe environment for us to be our true selves

so for a very long time, i was comfy saying i was a girl. i played basketball after school and then afterwards would find my prettiest dress and watch scooby doo. gender expression was fast and loose in my house

i contribute that a lot to the fact that my father was too disabled to work. even before then, he had been a nurse and a damn good one. my father has ALWAYS been the go to for when we were sick, injured, etc. my mother had this disconnect with how much concern to show. it was either too much or not enough and was pretty much never helpful. even after retiring, when my nephews came around he was the go to caretaker for them. even now at 70, he frequently goes back to where the children are during family gatherings and keeps watch. much like a mother hen

so he stayed home and did the cleaning and other “wifely” duties. not cooking though because his brain just cannot. my mother worked as a high school teacher so typical roles were entirely reversed. when i was tiny and wanted nothing more than to be a parent? you go, sweetie! when i was older and wanted to be a scientist? achieve your dreams, kiddo! like they were very supportive of my goals no matter what they were

so i just??? didn’t realize????? until i hit puberty somewhere around 9

talk about body dysphoria. i went from looking like my brother and every other kid my age to wow ok there’s hair now??? and my face is all weird???? and oh no why does my tummy feel funny?????????? (sexual arousal was a TRIP to discover as a third grader that i would not wish on any child ever) oh my god WHAT IS ON MY CHEST!? and grown men are hitting on me now??? oh no i’m in fourth grade and bleeding!?

it was not a fun time by a long shot. i started wearing the baggiest tshirts i could possibly find. anything to hide my freakish body, really. so many hoodies. i would swing wildly between hyper feminine expression with tight clothes and heels and hiding everything as much as possible. part of me was smug about being ahead of my peers, for adults to be treating me as more than a kid. but a LOT of me felt like a freak

maturing (mentally) into an adult was a wild experience. i was 13 and looked like i was 21 except for my face. i did everything possible to find comfort with myself from goth/emo expression ro masculine stuff people threw “dyke” at me for and then finally, weaponized femininity. tight tops, tight pants, shortest skirts i could get away with, eyeliner so sharp it could cut god, heels as often as i could including uniform days, perfect hair. i made myself look like a hot, unapproachable goddess

finally, people were too intimidated to approach me and comment on my appearance. i wore makeup like a mask and people who had known me for YEARS were surprised to find out just how big my chest really was. but i walked with murder in my eyes and i was finally treated the same was i was before puberty - completely unapproachable

ALL THAT IN MIND, here’s how i figured my shit out

i was on facebook seeing “gay, straight, black or white, marriage is a civil right” and being typically “it’s a sacred ordinance shyaddap” about it. i ended up on tumblr about idk 15 or so? note, i’d already discovered porn by this time so i was aware that lesbians existed. like just to throw that out there that i wasn’t like totally in the dark when i made my tumblr account. i did it for school to blog about shakespeare for an english assignment. and that’s when my world expanded

bisexual? wow ok! that was a thing! and oh. oh no

there were pretty girls

and pretty boys and pretty people whose gender i had no idea. cosplayers cosplaying as the opposite gender, trans people, and a whole rainbow of people i was suddenly finding attractive. and i had a HARDCORE identity crisis

i liked girls? but was it the same as boys? was i bisexual? that didn’t seem to fit. there was more than two genders right? and trans people existed? bi? was i bi? bi?

bi. probably

but it didn’t feel comfortable like at all. but i discovered a fanfic writer who talked about being pansexual and i looked it up and everything just clicked?? into place????

not to be overdramatic or anything but it was like the stars finally aligned. it felt SO good! so many genders! and it meant all and aliens are a thing, right? who was i to say no to the possibility? but, more than anything, it felt comfortable. like a hug from my grandma. like home

i wanted to scream from the rooftops that i’d figured it out! i found myself! pansexual! I WAS PANSEXUAL! THAT WAS ME! HOME!

and then the reality of living in our society crashed down on me. i continued to talk about the guys i liked around my family but never EVER the girls. i hid my relationship with the person who eventually became my wife. to be fair, i’d hidden all my relationships prior cause i was an IDIOT and had been dating before 16. so that wasn’t hard. but what was was the breakup

previously, i’d been like “you remember that guy i like? he’s a jerk” or some other excuse to cry to my mother. but i couldn’t about cake. so i cried to my bff/twin/sister like i had everything else and moved on. and i just kind of shut up about it to everybody except those closest to me

except that hurt. here i was knowing i was queer and happy about it but people were being homophobic. i don’t know how often i cried myself to sleep after hearing about “those dirty f*gs” cause of the marriage thing. i ended up quietly coming out to my favorite teacher and she dismissed it as trauma response to my then recent sexual assault. she had seemed safe but that was her reaction so i shut up about it

up until, ironically, coming out day october 2011 just before turning 17 that next month. my mother and i were at chilis, she was being homophobic, and i screamed for the whole restaurant to hear that i was queer and the whole base found out. hard to stay closeted after that

i was pretty much out until college when i started going to church in a new place. i just didn’t talk about my sexuality. ever. period. and it was “easy” because i was dating guys. and pretty sure i was a cis woman. so i was stealth passing. and that was ok with me because i was out on campus, vocally and unapologetically

in high school, i dated a trans guy. he introduced me like in a personal way to transness, to binding. i knew i wasn’t a man but it intrigued me. and in college where nobody knew me, nobody knew me as femme fatale black widow i had a chance to explore my gender. i discovered that loose tshirts made me feel really good. as did other comfy things like shorts and sweats. sometimes i wanted to look fancy or felt like wearing a dress. really, i kind of reverted back to who i was in childhood

i felt weird when i heard my birth name. i’d gone by a nickname for so long, i just chopped off the y (vanny) to vann so it sounded more adult. it felt good. so i identified, tentatively, as nonbinary. it was around this time the trans dude i dated and i fell out with each other because he thought me playing around with my gender was like mocking his transness. or something. idk dude was toxic trash

so i wasn’t male or female then? nah that didn’t feel right. i wasn’t some third androgynous gender. but sometimes binding and passing as a man felt good and sometimes passing as a woman felt good. genderfluid then? was i a man who liked to wear dresses? no. didn’t feel right. made me uncomfortable

eventually, things clicked for me with agender the way they had with pansexual the fall of my third year of undergrad. stars aligned, the universe smiled upon me, and i was THRILLED. like gender euphoria is REAL and never before had i felt so comfortable in my own skin. i remember literally weeping with joy. like i’d been going with they/them/their for a couple years at that point

i came out to my parents about that one pretty shortly after realizing it because i was OVERJOYED. they’d been working on calling me vann for awhile at that point and the pronouns. i’ve since learned that so long as soebody has my name, 90% of the time i legit do not care what pronouns somebody uses. im aware that people perceive me differently and it’s fine. i mean neutral pronouns fill me with euphoria but like it’s fine. so long as somebody doesn’t mistake me for cis

my parents are like so great about it now. they correct people who deadname me (except my grandma cause she’s like 85 and i gave her permission years ago) and my mother straight cut contact with family members who refuse to respect me. except my brothers but like she makes it clear whenever they’re going to be awful that she WILL NOT tolerate it. like they don’t dare trash me in front of our father. he’s old now but he will backhand one of my brothers for that and they know it. so they try it with our mom and she’s like “try it again and you won’t hear from me until you apologize for trashing your sister”

i realized i was poly when cake came back into my life. that was a serious mess involving their abusive ex girlfriend but we clicked and it ended up working so yknow. that was my easiest coming out actually. my parents were like “yknow, you always seemed to love people when you were a kid. and you had SO many crushes. makes sense” which was awesome. it was the most difficult emotionally but the easiest because i’d already come out twice before so it was whatever

the demi thing was discovered in therapy. and like it doesn’t have much in the way of impact like the other things do. so i never really came out about that? there wasn’t really a point? like i talk about it when it comes up but it’s just whatever. i honestly have no idea if i ever told my family?????

WITH THAT NONSENSE IN MIND, HERE’S HOW TO STEALTH AND BE OK MENTALLY

you said homophobic so im gonna assume you’re not straight. no idea about gender and, honestly, so far as gender goes i’ve seen it’s safer to lean into masculinity than it is femininity. so if you’re amab, i don’t really have tips or tricks for that as i’m afab. with being afab, lean into the tomboy aesthetic so you seem acceptably (safely) your assigned gender. i recommend fun lipstick and nail polish colors. sparkly nails did wonders for me honestly

but for like not straightness. that’s a tightrope that is but a gossamer thread to balance. like there are ways to stealth gender expression and feel affirmed but queerness is a different animal or it was for me

so i had AT LEAST one space in my life where i was 100%, unapologetically, loudly out. like i’m here, i’m queer and flying my rainbow flag and not at all sorry about it OUT. for awhile, it was just my very closest friends in the whole world. then it was tumblr. then i made a facebook for people irl i could trust. 0 family and 0 people who couldn’t be chill about it

like having a carved space for you to just be the authentic you, whatever that is. for me, that’s all this queer mess, the polycule that is my family, my faith, my absolutely foul mouth, my mental illnesses, my love of good coffee or a glass of wine every now and then as a rare treat, the good and the bad the ugly and the uncategorizable all together. the struggle with the word of wisdom AND the love of my spouses. all of that

it’s affirming to have this space where you’re yourself and people accept you for who you are rather than what gets your engine revving. but you’ve also got to try and stealth that into wherever you can. you want a dyke spike? go for it and say it’s a pixie cut. plaids are in right now which is a lowkey signal to other queers you’re a queer too no matter your gender. just depends on what shoe you pair it with and other queers will take notice while non queers will just think you’re trendy

it was also fun for me to get that pan flag aesthetic wherever i could. like blue/pink galaxy type eyeshadow that wasn’t too peacock flashy so it looked Hot without being Obvious and a pink lipstick and yellow nails. like it was subtle but i knew what was going on and it felt good. i did the same with rainbows but i had more to work with there. like i’d have an inconspicuous notebook where i’d paint/paste a rainbow on the inside cover so that it was Normal from the outside and BAM! GAY! on the inside. did that with highlighting my notes too

i just kind of stuck it everywhere i could possibly get away with. people were excited to see me go from emo to bring colors becuase “oh wow! you’re finally not sad!” lol no i’m just stealth queer over here

i also wrote SO MUCH queer fanfiction. i didn’t publish any of it just in case but i have notebooks full of stuff. i also rped with people as a way to live vicariously through characters. i also READ a lot of queer fanfiction actually. i saved all kinds of fanart and photo manipulations of certain pairings together. like i couldn’t be out so i could have fiction where others were

i also poured myself into hobbies. i fenced, did karate, learned japanese, participated in drama club, played in a band, took piano lessons, taught myself to draw, journaled, learned to cook, read amazing books, played video games, learned to sing. like i’m sure there are other things i’m forgetting? basically, if it was EVER covered in a young women’s activity pretty much anywhere in the world, i learned at least those basic skills. like i can embroider now even

so like that’s how i stealthed and stayed sane. i was also in therapy where i was out to whatever therapist i was seeing at the time which ABSOLUTELY helped. i also made like queer playlists i would listen to. like same love, i kissed a girl, born this way, etc that i would listen to when i needed to just sink into it. music in general is super cathartic and i’ve gotta say green day, acdc, evanescence, bon jovi, etc got me through some tough shit

i also yelled at god. i yelled at god a LOT actually. like i know we get told “pray for comfort” but sometimes you need to bawl your eyes out and just SCREAM at the almighty. dude can take it. he’s god after all. he can handle our anger. it isn’t disrespectful. like if you ever do cross a line, he’ll let you know. like your thoughts will hard stop. you’ll know

but empty your lungs screaming in pain. let him know it isn’t fair, you’re not happy. beg for relief from the nightmares you’re living. demand to know if or when it’ll ever get better. burn yourself out yelling and crying and fall asleep drenched in tears. then wake up the next day and live your life and you know what?

you’ll feel better. maybe not a lot sometimes and maybe everything is cool for once in forever. but it definitely helped me a lot. like dude listens and you WILL feel better even if the things around you dont get better. you get some strength to get through and be ok and it’s super helpful

but that’s what i got. also bear in mind that i came out to thousands of people by yelling at my mother in a restaurant when all the ships were in because everybody in said restaurant texted everybody they knew and my texts were flooded in like an hour of “DON’T TELL ME YOU CAME OUT TO YOUR MOM LIKE THAT OMG” and “you’re queer!?” so like

i’m not the best when it comes to stealth queering so take my advice with a grain of salt

#long post #like reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyy long post #i cannot overemphasize how long this post is #advice #i tried :/#Anonymous #anon #vannswers

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flamequil · 6 years

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Deserts and Defiance: 2- The TG Artist

*Deserts and Defiance is my own history as a trans person *

The Bones episode I mentioned was the first time I heard the term transgender, sometime in my second year out of high school, and unfortunately near the end of my mother’s life. Everything mentioned in the previous part occurred prior to me encountering this episode. The victim was a post-op trans woman, so at the time I ended up understanding transgender to mean the same as transsexual was. The episode also ran through a quick description of penile inversion vaginoplasty, increasing my knowledge a little. One Bones episode and the knowledge that my parents believed sex changes were wrong was all I knew about trans people when I first engaged with the work of one.

Late in high school I joined DeviantArt, and within a year was encountering and regularly engaging with sexual content. One night I was searching for new stuff and ended up finding flash animations showing guys magically transforming into female video game characters by the TG Artist. My fascination with these kinds of transitions made the TG Artist’s work a go to. Eventually I learned that the TG in the TG Artist stood for transgender. I also began thinking about how I felt about transgender people.

My first thought was that since I was seeking this content for sexual purposes, that trans women were just men who wanted to have sex with themselves. The TG Artist countered that idea herself by being honest about how she felt in her descriptions on her art. When I finally stopped looking exclusively at the transition animations and interactives and started looking at some of her more introspective pieces, it became clear that she had real feelings and needs in her desire for surgery.

I was forced to acknowledge the reality of her experience, and to begin the process of acknowledging my own. I clung to my religious beliefs, saying “God made me a boy so regardless of my feelings I should remain a boy.” I also believed that transition wasn’t worthwhile if it didn’t change chromosomes or give you a womb. I was very homophobic at the time and believed that transitioning meant you were guaranteed gay, and that was a bad thing. Thankfully, being where I am now means those beliefs have changed.

When I knew about my identity finally, the TG Artist was no longer on dA, and what I’d found said she’d been in some sort of crisis. Wherever she is, what ever happened with her and gender, if she reads this: thank you. You helped me be a little more empathetic and you helped me learn to use art to process emotion. Those things have been so valuable to me since then. Thank you.

#trans #identity #trans woman #my history #trans history #girlslikeus

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mic-and-cheese · 6 years

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Kannon Profile

One sentence description: Former government spy who found happiness in villainy

Full Name: Kasey Bel Nickname: Kannon Reason for Nickname: Kannon is a code name to protect Kasey's identity while time traveling Supervillain Name: Villusionary Age: 21 years (in 1964) Sex: unknown Gender: nonbinary (specifically, ambonec) Place of Birth: unknown Birthday: June 23rd Currently living in: unknown island in the Pacific Species/Race: Human [super] Ethnicity: African American Occupation: government spy or supervillain, depending on point in time Sexual Orientation: greyromantic asexual Social Status: Middle class, upper class as a supervillain Relationship Status: In a relationship/married depending point in time Status: Deceased

Appearance

Body Build: Short and thin, nearly underweight Height: 4’10” Weight: 98 lbs Skin colour: Dark Hair style: Short, slicked back, and a bit choppily cut Hair colour: black and dyed white Eye colour: Dark brown Distinguishing Features: two-toned hair, often scowling but can occasionally be caught making strange expressions for seemingly no reason Preferred Clothing: business casual; likes most things comfortable and modest Accessories: time travel gauntlets

Supersuit: a suit made as a collaboration between Kannon and Syndrome. The suit is made with technology from the 2080's that Kannon had archived before going back in time. It contains a vast number of functions, including the ability to scale walls and ceilings, disguise itself as another person and even replicate their voice, or not be sensed at all, break objects using the breaking frequency of the object itself, fly with the use of rocket boots, is bulletproof, and make basic predictions of an enemy's motion to aid in combat.

Likes/Dislikes

Likes: history and the future, high tech (especially planes), the 1960's, bossa nova music, warm, tropical places, quiet places without a lot of people, small spaces, nature (especially jungles and beaches), contemporary design, documentaries, learning new things Dislikes: loud places, lots of people, the cold, snow, spiders, mornings

Hobbies: reading, watching old movies and documentaries, listening to music, going on long walks, studying aerospace engineering

Habits

Kannon is oddly stiff when they move

They're prone to running their hand through their hair, putting their hand on their chin, not making eye contact and constantly looking around

Kannon is also fidgety with their hands and has picked up some of Syndrome's habits as well

Strengths/Weaknesses

Strengths: intelligent, quick thinker, quick runner

Weakness: emotionally distant, has a hard time understanding and recognizing other people, feels like they don't have a purpose without other people, physically weak, doesn't like to acknowledge their own faults

Skills/Abilities

Though Kannon doesn't know it, they are technically a super. They have the ability to go almost completely unnoticed by others. The power is always in affect, unless Kannon really wants to be noticed, and it doesn't effect people Kannon knows well. Kannon is about as qualified as an astronaut and has a number of skills acquired from their training, such as the ability to fly a plane, do surveillance work, repair a vast assortment of machinery, and administer first aid. Kannon is also skilled at disguising themselves.

Fears

Getting lost, not having a purpose, being trapped, open spaces, plane crashes, fire, losing Syndrome, being the center of attention

Personality

Is a very quiet and secretive person, though very observant. They prefer to spend their time on the sidelines, watching others. In fact, you'll hardly notice they're even there. Despite this, it's not difficult to persuade Kannon into action with the right motivation. Although Kannon enjoys studying small details and can make great connection between them, they tend to be oblivious to them if they aren't pointed out. Because of this, Kannon seems to be a bit spacey

Quiet, and secretive, yet observant. They prefer to spend their time on the sidelines watching others. Kannon hates being part of the action.

Loves studying small details, and can make amazing mental connections between them, but can be oblivious to larger details

Oblivious and emotionally distant in general. Has a hard time expressing genuine emotion and reading others. Their understanding of the emotions of others is more logical than empathetic, and Kannon does not feel sympathy

Kannon feels lost and without a purpose without someone telling them what to do or what goal to work for

Relationships

Family: Biological family unknown, later has two children, twins Hal and Maisy Love interest: Buddy "Syndrome" Pine (Boyfriend/husband depending on point in time) Friends/Allies: Mirage (used to be friends before Mirage stopped working for Syndrome) The Underminer, Baron Von Ruthless, Bomb Voyage, and many other villains (temporary allies) Enemies: Mirage, The Underminer, Baron Von Ruthless, Bomb Voyage, many other villians, all supers, especially the Incredibles, and the NSA

History

Most of Kannon's history prior to time traveling is unknown, especially because one of the unforeseen side effects of time traveling is slowly forgetting events before the travel. Kannon was trained as a government spy somewhat early in their life, though their exact age when they started training is unknown, however, Kannon's vast level of qualifications within their lifetime suggest that they may have begun training as a child, or that most of their knowledge was artificially learned, though they don't remember it.

Kannon time traveled back to the year 1964 in order to document missing information about Syndrome's rise to power that didn't add up. Their mission required them to observe Syndrome's corporation from afar. Because the mission required that Kannon do as little as possible to prevent disturbing the timeline, they often hid in plain sight disguised as an inconspicuous person. In 1964, Kannon used their knowledge and resources to find Mirage in order to get closer to Syndrome's corporation in an inconspicuous manner. Mirage at the time was also a government spy sent to research mysterious activity surrounding Syndrome. Kannon and Mirage quickly became close friends, and the two were hired by Syndrome in 1965. During Kannon's observation, they witnessed the deaths of many supers and Mirage defect to Syndrome's side, as well as the creation of technological advances that were unheard of for their time. While in Kannon's native timeline, they had a great respect and admiration for Syndrome as a superhero and inventor praised by the public, Kannon discovered that Operation Kronos was nothing but a plan to kill off supers while Syndrome created the facade of being a hero. Kannon was revolted at this revelation, but still continued to monitor the corporation's actions until 1970. In 1970, Operation Kronos had nearly come to completion as Mr. Incredible was finally located and brought to Nomanisan Island, yet in Kannon's native timeline, Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl had been retired since 1955, yet there they were. Not soon after, Mirage came to Kannon, asking them to abandon Syndrome's mission with her for endangering her life, but Kannon refused for the sake of their mission. By this point, Kannon had realized they were no longer able to travel back to their time due to a timeline inconsistency, unaware that the reason for the inconsistency was because their actions had inadvertently prevented Syndrome's guards from killing the Incredibles family. The realization that they could not return home threw Kannon into a highly unstable crisis that prompted them to ask any other known tech genius they could find to remake the time travel device as soon as they got off Nomanisan, completely overlooking the fact that they could very well jeopardize the future further by interacting so heavily with anyone from this timeline. Only the next day, and Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, two kids presumed to be their children, and Frozone defeated the robot that famously attacked Metroville and in their native timeline was defeated by Syndrome, (the Omnidroid 10, Kannon as discovered). Kannon had been near the scene of the attack, accompanying Syndrome as both back up and as means to escape from Nomanisan when they got an alert that something had gone wrong; Syndrome later devised a plan to ambush the Parr household, but decided instead to kidnap their youngest and previously unknown child to raise as a sidekick. When the Parr's returned home, Syndrome attempted to make his escape with the child, but was foiled as Mr. Incredible threw his car at the Mantajet, throwing Syndrome into the jet's engine, and injuring Kannon to the point that they feared death if they did not quickly remake the time travel device, they'd surely die, if not of their injuries alone, then of an infection or outdated medical practices. They made the decision to save Syndrome, who was at the brink of death, in the hope that Syndrome could somehow recreate their time travel device to send them back to their time, now that Operation Kronos had failed, abruptly ending Kannon's mission and forfeiting any loyalty they once had to the government in favor of simply living. Kannon was able to stay hidden with Syndrome until their small recovery force had arrived, the force composed of some of the few still loyal to Syndrome after Nomanisan had been discovered by the authorities and Syndrome's assets frozen. They then went into hiding on another, smaller island Syndrome had previously prepared in case Nomanisan was compromised and Kannon began to spend their time looking after Syndrome, nursing him back to health. As they continued to interact more and more, they made a deal with one another. Syndrome would recreate Kannon's time travel device in exchange for assistance on his next plan, Operation Zeus once he had recovered enough. After their agreement put them on positive terms with one another and the lonliness of the island forced them to seek out each other for any sort of socialization outside of the few guards, they slowly developed a friendship. A few months later and Syndrome and Kannon's friendship would slip into a relationship. By May of 1970, Operation Zeus was ready to begin. Kannon began to contact other supervillains to work for them, promising high tech weapons and money in the future in exchange for creating incidents of terror and robbing banks to supply funding for later phases, and by 1971, using some of the funding provided by the villains they hired, Syndrome and Kannon were able to create a new, state of the art supersuit that allowed Kannon to artificially use a wide variety of superpowers, and expand their island operations. The competion of this suit marked the beginning of Operation Zeus' phase 2; Villusionary became Kannon's supervillian identity, hacking into systems, stealing blueprints, technology, and secret documents from heroes and villains alike, including many of the very villains they had hired. Having acquired these new plans, various technologies, and weapons, Syndrome began to improve upon both his and Kannon's supersuits, as well as using the information they gained to discover the weaknesses of those they stole from. Though whispers of the thief had begun to spread in both superhero and villain circles, the cloaking abilities of both Kannon's suit and their natural abilities prevented them from being spotted. In 1972, Syndrome was finally able to recreate a compatible time travel device by using parts from Kannon's device and purposefully hacking into them to prevent them from shutting off after detecting a timeline inconsistency, and having recovered enough to continue Operation Zeus on his own, began to prepare for Kannon to return to their own time. However, by this point, Kannon had become accustomed to the 1970's, and loved Syndrome too much to simply leave, all the while their memories of the 2090's were beginning to fade, so Kannon decided to stay. By 1974, Syndrome and Kannon got married and had two children, twins Hal and Maisy and decide to put Operation Zeus on a semi-hiatus to raise them. Though Kannon no longer used the Villusionary persona, Syndrome continued to make modifications upon the previously stolen tech, including one particular invention, the hypnotism technology created by Evelyn Deavor. Meanwhile, Hal and Maisy were brought up taught to believe that their parents were superheroes in the sheltered environment of the island. In 1984, they resumed Operation Zeus and begin phase 3, using the modified hypnotism technology, no longer in the form of googles, but instead as a chip small enough to be injected into the eyes. Once again under the guise of Villusionary, Kannon began tracking down supers and inserting the chips as they slept, each chip programmed to hypnotize the supers into a frenzied, destructive state. Now with supers going rogue and the villains they previously hired ordered to go on massive rampages worldwide, the public has no choice but to rely on Syndrome as their hero, spreading the false narrative of a former villain who found the good in his heart to become a hero and save the people from a spreading epidemic of violence, while Villusionary masqueraded as the sole mastermind behind the crime spree to throw the public off Syndrome's trail while also giving him a nemesis to "defeat." Under their theatrical reign, they killed several of the villains they had hired, and jailed dozens of supers, only for them to "break out" in order continue the charade. However, with the sudden reemergence of Syndrome, Mirage was quickly on his and Kannon's trail; though she had previously believed that Kannon and Syndrome had both been killed in the plane crash. Mirage eventually tracked down Syndrome and Kannon to their home, and though she did not find Syndrome, she found Villusionary, who profusely denied being Kannon and telling her that Syndrome was dead. Mirage knew this was all a lie and got into a fight with Villusionary, and severely damaged the suit's mask, forcing Villusionary to reveal themselves as Kannon. After their discovery, Kannon was able to make their escape after Mirage's failed attempt to capture them, but not before Mirage caught a short glimpse of Hal and Maisy fleeing with Kannon, the kids' similarities to their father further proving that Syndrome had been alive far longer than Mirage had originally thought. The family's discovery by Mirage forced them to relocate and prematurely put Operation Zeus into full swing, planning to stage a massacre of the NSA to prevent any information of their discovery from becoming public knowledge. Though the massacre was a success, what Kannon and Syndrome hadn't anticipated was that the villians they hadn't killed were hungry for revenge after word of their betrayal spread, forcing them to relocate again, and calling off Operation Zeus until further notice. Finally, in May of 1992, Kannon and Syndrome were cornered and killed by the villains they had betrayed that had once again tracked them down. Hal and Maisy were able to get away and in 1993 used the repaired time travel devices to go to the year 2094 to escape the wrath of heroes and villains alike who wanted them dead purely for the actions of their parents. Hal and Maisy would go on to become superheroes and open a supervillain reform center.

Trivia

Despite Kannon's love of technology, they have a rather difficult time using it. Though this is only because they're not used to technology from the 60's and 70's. They're much more proficient in Syndrome's tech and tech from their own time, though they got used to it eventually

Kannon pretends they don't care much for music, but in reality loves a wide variety of genres and will often hum or dance to it when they're alone

Kannon mostly calls Syndrome Buddy, but will often switch names, usually taking minute cues from their own or Syndrome's mood. Their use of the names is a very personal aid to their communication, with each name having different connotations

Because Kannon is a historian, they like to document events and daily things that seem mundane to most people

Favourites

Food: pretty much anything with shrimp Colour: black Animal: tasmanian devil Number: 5 Holiday: New Years Season: Summer Time of day: Night Genre of music: Bossa Nova Genre of literature: Non-fiction Genre of shows: Documentary Genre of movies: Action, old horror movies

Health

General health: Excellent, doesn't get sick easily Any physical illnesses?: No Any mental illnesses?: developed PTSD after the plane crash Take drugs?: No Smoke?: No

Mental/Emotional State

Archetype(s): Career Criminal, Champion, Seeker, Turncoat Act before thinking/Think before acting?: Think before acting Emotion-wise, generally: distant, numb, perceives their own and others emotions with logic rather than feeling

Conversation

Way of speaking: very slight southern accent, speaks in a very academic manner Common conversation starter: "Tell me about it." Swears?: Like a fucking sailor. Usually only swears for sarcasm or if surprised, rarely swears when angry

Education/Intelligence

Education: Unknown, but presumably highly educated in multiple fields like psychology, history, anthropology, sociology, mathematics, computer science and engineering, electrical engineering, and mechanical engineering IQ: 145 EQ: 60

Secrets

They are fascinated by death, destruction, and suffering. They don't like those things per say, but they find them interesting

Kannon didn’t believe they could fall in love before meeting Syndrome

Kannon wishes they were more musically inclined, but hasn't done much to pursue it

Kannon hides most small details from people, even if they aren't things that need to be hidden

They are somewhat of a pathological liar, though their lies are mostly white lies. These lies rarely get discovered because they're usually not things people look into, and Kannon remembers them well. Many of their lies they make up on the spot for no reason and haven't even realized that they were lying until they've already spoken

Kannon is scared of cats and horses

#in case you needed further proof that kannon is fucked up i guess #kannon #si #self insert #selfship #self shipping

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allbeendonebefore · 6 years

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Ref: Calgary / Calvin McCall

Cal’s comprehensive and updated bio since I keep meaning to publish it somewhere. Feel free to ask questions if there is anything you are curious about or want an explanation for.

[2015 Visual Ref Sheet Here]

Last Update: May 23, 2018.

QUICK STATS

Name: Calgary

Human Name: Calvin ‘Cal’ (Brisebois) McCall

Gender: Male

Age: 140s

Human Age: Early 20s

Birthday: November 7, 1874

Nationality: Canadian

Ethnicity: White (Scottish, English)

Language: English

Religion: N/A (Raised Methodist/Protestant)

Other: Biggest city in Alberta, 4th in Canada

PHYSICAL STUFF

Height: 6′0″ (182 cm)

Body Type: Kind of hourglassy but gangly and thin. Sharp al dente noodle limbs but soft thighs/shoulders. Strong legs from speed skating.

Hair: Blonde - more saturated/golden than dirty. More pronounced waves than Ed. Just above shoulder length, bangs just below the top of his ears. Center part. Piece of hair sticks up at the front of his bangs from the part.

Eyes: Light brown.

Skin: Whitey McWhiterson, freckles. (Tans ok in summer or burns to a crisp. Primarily Scottish. Any Blackfoot etc heritage isn’t immediately obvious on sight)

Details: Ski-jump nose.

“Default” Outfit: Salmon-pink collared shirt, red tie, dark jeans, flame cowboy boots, white cowboy hat, custom up-to-date Flames jersey (McCall, 75) on game days (or Whenever because he’s That Extra).

Everyday Clothing Style: Wild West Executive: expensive, leather, fleece, occasionally over the top and involving Cs or flames motifs. Bolo ties, belt buckles, hats, warm colours, Too Much Red. Oscillates from professional suits to mountain flannel, sometimes combines aesthetics poorly during Stampede.

Other Notes: I tend to think of him in s-curves or flame shapes- soft curve, sharp point. Pointy curved nose, pointy chin.

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- Grew up extremely quickly relative to his neighbours, Industrial revolution kid from the age of steam. Had two major growth spurts in the 1880s-90s, and the 1960s-70s. By the end of the 19th century, he was nearly as tall as Ed. The 70s involved puberty hitting him like a sledgehammer.

- Was a cute, well groomed and pudgy kid in his first decade. Extremely embarrassed of what a well-off childhood he had and likes to pretend he was a lot more wild west than he actually was. By the Depression, it was clear that he was going to be on the thinner side as he got older.

- His hair was short and usually styled carefully prior to the 70s. It was at its longest in the 90s. No idea if the sticky up hair actually represents anything- it was originally meant to be a nod to APH America, so maybe American Hill? Haha.

- Looks kind of dumb with a beard but goes through phases where he's determined to grow one.

- No known physical scars, tattoos, or piercings. Freckles on his face, shoulders, etc.

- In remarkable shape considering how much bad food he eats and how little he exercises and goes outside in his day to day life. Prefers the gym or weekend hiking/skiing in the mountains to literally any other form of physical activity aside from skating. If it's set up as a competition or an olympic event, however, he'll give it his all.

- Has flat feet, needs insoles in his shoes. Also has really smooth and powerful elbows.

PERSONALITY

- ESTJ "The Executive". Very good at organizing people and sticking to his guns, but can also be a bit too mathematical about things at times. Stickler for planning things out and following through. Really genuinely likes talking to other people and getting to know them, really giddy when he makes it into new social circles. Strong sense of justice and morality that he doesn't like to question.

- His mood literally changes with the weather. Generally he's a bit of a genki type and a go-getter, a people person, etc, but when the chinook wind comes in he does a 180 and becomes irritable and snappy. He also has a reputation for being one of the most stressed out cities in the country (which is why he only lets totally loose 10 days a year). However, he is calm and level headed in a crisis and very dependable.

- Tends to be really hot-headed, easily goaded, and a jealous type. A bit of a crybaby as well who needs extra reassurance, but always feels better afterwards. Also has TERRIBLE road rage.

- Basically thinks of himself as the main character in a national and at times even continental drama, pre-destined to be Amazing from birth. It's not exactly that he displays himself as egotistical, he just thinks he's worked really hard and deserves every good thing that comes his way. He just knew he was going to be a big city since he was a kid. Classic small town boy turned entitled white collar white boy who isn't exactly aware of how much has been handed to him, but doesn't mean harm by it.

- Has a carefully cultivated image and really concentrates on making good first impressions, but also is a very straightforward person. What you see is generally what you get with him, and he really wears his heart on his sleeve. Really doesn't appreciate people who are manipulative or don't say what they mean, but also the sort of person who doesn't want to show all his cards when he is making a bargain.

- Even though he was raised by penny-pinching Scotsmen and waxes poetic about fiscal conservatism, he's Extremely irresponsible with his money. You know how NHL players go grocery shopping on video for laughs because they have no idea how to budget or what to buy? He's like that. The sort of person who says "I spent THIS MUCH" where Ed is "I ONLY spent THIS MUCH!"

- Despite his image of being reckless and thoughtless, he puts a lot of work in when it matters and gets easily emotionally invested in projects and people. He's mostly reckless and thoughtless when it comes to himself, so while he looks quite established and firm he's still crumbling a bit on the inside from overwork and stress.

- Still does his best to project his relaxed and folksy small town side and knows that this makes people underestimate him to their disadvantage. Less embarrassed about his redneck character and more irritated that he's so easily brushed off by others because of his perceived social class.

- The heart of the tension between fiscal conservatism and social progressivism. Really traditional romantic white picket fence guy, but also someone who is really interested in change and new innovations.

- Has a lot of issues with his personal identity which he pretends is not based on tenuous stereotypes, constantly trying to figure out who he is and really plays up the cowboy identity to hide his lack of certainty and to have something constant to hold onto.

- Was the absolute Worst kid in school, really doesn't like doing what he is told and has no patience for academia. Math is the only discipline that makes sense to him (and even then he doesn't really think critically about math as a concept).

- Is extremely neat and organized. He doesn't mind getting dirty as long as he's squeaky clean immediately after.

RELATIONSHIPS

- His 'family' includes southern Alberta, that is, the former District of Alberta territory which more or less includes those on Treaty 7 territory (Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Red Deer, etc). Also has a close relationship to those he shares a river with (Banff, Canmore, etc.) Lately however, the other municipalities have felt him growing distant and unfamiliar as he navigates not only being the biggest city in the province but one of the biggest cities nationally as well. Still largely the center of Albertan culture, tourism, and stereotypes in spite of this.

- Close to the municipalities who have since amalgamated, particularly Bowness [Caroline] who he visited frequently in his youth to ignore his problems and play with. They moved in together in the 60s. If he had a 2p, it would likely be Cochrane. Also close to Fort Macleod, who is like his older brother and fellow NWMP fort.

- Didn't really feel a strong kinship with the other western cities in his youth and still is on good and friendly terms if awkward around them. He and Regina would have shared NWMP history, and he tried to take the younger Saskatoon under his wing for all of two seconds before his apprentice surpassed him. Cal tends to have closer relationships with American cities (particularly in Colorado, Texas, Illinois, Montana, Wyoming, Arizona etc.) than he does with cities in the other prairie provinces.

- Set his sights on Chicago before Winnipeg, but still maintains an admiration of Toronto and Montreal from a young age despite their complicated relationship. He and Vancouver are relatively close in age and the coast remains Cal's favourite vacation spot. Cal tries to hide his jealousy by being a bit overly friendly with him, but figures it's something that the rather isolated Van Man appreciates. Overall, he is EXTREMELY desperate to make the Big Three into the Elite Four, but has difficulty reading the atmosphere when it comes to them because he's a bit blinded by his ambition to get closer than a simple orbit. On the other hand, he's also the guy with the Let Those Eastern Bastards Freeze in the Dark bumper sticker and the Big Shots can really get on his nerves.

- Ed remains Cal's worst enemy and also his most steadfast friend. Cal has known him his entire life and can't imagine how difficult it would be to define himself without him, and the two have been known to wreak havoc fighting each other and bring the house down when they are working together. Cal often pretends that such a backwater and isolated city isn't enough to catch his attention, but Ed is probably the first thing keeping Cal from looking more nationally and more internationally outwards as he is the easier to provoke of the two by a narrow margin. The obsession with the other is completely mutual and very little of it is genuine hatred despite Calvin's easily produced list of victories and Ed's lower self esteem and reputation.

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

- Despite not exercising enough, he loves all winter sports and hockey and speed skating in particular. In his youth, he played polo and croquet often. Always looking for ways to make these games either more extreme and full of stupid stunts or more silly (like human curling). Other outdoor sports he enjoys are quadding and dirt biking. Do Not mention the 1988 Winter Olympics because he will Not stop talking about them.

- Also super fond of horseback riding. And horses in general. And images of horses. And sculptures of horses. And carousels. Is really gutted that he can't keep a horse or a cow at home, so he goes out to Caro's or Bert's ranch when he wants to spend quality time with the animals. Animals are a sure fire way of calming him down. On a related note, he knows how to ride both Western and English style.

- Really into arts and music in particular, but has no sense of social class or refined taste. Really leans into the 'fake it til you make it' philosophy but also brutally honest about things he finds overrated. Likes paintings of dramatic mountain ranges and wild horses the most and has been known to try his hand at it once in a while. Also can play guitar and probably every marching band instrument. Fear the day he picks up bagpiping.

- Loves travelling when he can, not just for business deals. Owns a vacation home in Phoenix, Arizona, (a sister city) probably; also frequents Vegas and Mexico. Banff is a weekly destination for him.

- Learned the art of BBQ from the Americans. He is the Token Grill Dad. Come to think of it, he also loves golf and probably wearing socks and sandals too. Will absolutely judge a restaurant by the quality of the steak (and the person taking him to said restaurant too). His other favourite foods are ginger beef and prairie oysters. Apart from that, his taste in food is like giving an 8 year old unlimited access to a kitchen - 'let's deep fry a cockroach and cover it in powdered sugar and chocolate syrup, that will be great!!' 'What if we put clamato juice and vodka together?!'.

- Like Ed, also really fond of planes, trains, and automobiles. Unlike Ed, he can't stand cyclists and will choose a truck over a bike any day of the week. The newer, shinier and more features, the better.

- Loves anything involving betting and gambling, particularly against Ed. Tries to disguise his love of gambling with fancy adult words like 'real estate' and 'stocks' or whatever. It's probably his oldest and worst addiction. Also loves fairgrounds and carnival games even though they're rigged.

- Drinks a lot. Buys a lot of expensive whiskey and keeps a liquor cabinet in his office. It's his only other major vice- he really can't stand smoking and will get annoyed at people who do it near him.

- His hockey passion is still very strong, but he finds it less exciting when there's not a good rivalry and still has less going for him than Ed historically. Also really jealous of Ed's big dumb new arena for some stupid reason. Also a big fan of football. Wears his Flames jersey and puts flames motifs on everything a little too much.

- Loves fire in general, whether on the grill, a campfire, a romantic fireplace, or a Sunday drive out to Turner Valley to watch gas get lit on fire. It's only a little worrisome.

- Has a lot of hobbies to cope with stress. Knitting is one of them. Exercise is another, if less used. Also doodles cartoons on his notes during meetings.

HISTORICAL STUFF

- Was 'born' or 'found' on the south side of the Bow River, near the confluence of the Elbow.

- Founded deep in Blackfoot Territory as a North West Mounted Police fort to stop American whiskey runners. Had quite a spoiled and sheltered childhood. Most of the "Wild West" era was already over by the time he was growing up, and the buffalo were already driven to near extinction.

- He comes from a very WASPy background, maybe knew some Gaelic back in the day and definitely had a good deal of exposure to Spanish from a young age. His German and Scandinavian languages are rather good and he's progressing pretty well with Mandarin and so on. He particularly struggles with French and indigenous languages. Cannot learn languages well in classroom settings and especially not when they're mandatory, just has to go out and speak it or listen on the radio at the very least.

- Was raised Methodist/Protestant but is relatively secular lately. Even so, listening to Bible Bill on the radio was his favourite activity during the Depression and it's stuck with him quite strongly. Religion has simply been replaced with the economy.

- Relative to Ed he is a bit more distant from his First Nations roots, having lived through the enforcement of segregation and the development of the reserve system during his childhood, but despite his awkwardness he is working to finally begin his own path to Reconciliation.

- Has always been traditionally right-wing, but also complicit in the inventions of many radical parties including Social Credit and the CCF (now NDP). He has developed a bit of a liberal heart lately compared to some of his neighbours.

- The 1980s was his "traumatic" decade, but his solution to any traumatic decade is to throw huge parties and spend money he doesn't have to pretend like it wasn't happening. Lost a lot of his strength early in the decade and became extremely resentful of the federal government, a resentment that had been percolating since Confederation.

- Historical roles include: the first incorporated city in the NWT, a center of Treaty 7 territory and the district of Alberta, training ground for pilots during the World Wars, heart of ranch land, the O&G industry, and the home of many business headquarters.

POSSESSIONS ETC.

- Lived in a sandstone house in his youth, recently bought a luxury penthouse overlooking the Saddledome and the Calgary tower, a short walk from Olympic Plaza. All leather/cowprint/wood furniture, bronze western sculptures, giant paintings of rocky mountain sky. Spends way more money to look rustic than necessary.

- His truck is red (to make it go faster), needs a step to get into, has Flames decals and flags and junk, and gets a lot of use to prove that he actually needs it (he doesn't). God, so much Flames and Stamps stuff.

- Got a business degree when they were super easy to get because why not, now boasts a lot about how it's such a commodity and he's a risk taker and blah blah blah to justify being a monkey of average intelligence who wears a suit. He's That Guy™ in all your Econ classes.

- Probably has a model trainset somewhere that he never lets Ed touch (at least not without meeting very specific criteria).

- A lasso. No reason. Just in case, you know?

- Probably has a hunting rifle that he's fully licensed to use, he just hates using it and keeps it on a wall for decoration because thinking about using it for hunting makes him cry (the other munis make fun of him a lot). Will shoot at targets or bottles, anything but animals.

- Has a chestnut coloured horse named Nellie- she either lives with Caro or with Bert. Has had Several horses over his lifetime and probably thousands of cows.

- Has. So Many. Boots. And Belt Buckles. And All That. You have No Idea. He has a separate walk in closet specifically for Stampede, probably.

- A Calgary White Hat, obviously, just for being him.

- Has a picture of himself as a kid riding a mountain goat. In the museum. No one can know.

OTHER STUFF

- Like Ed, spends the majority of his time working for the city. He suffers a lot when trying to please all the billionaires who keep trying to influence him (Ed on the other hand only has like one).

- Has some experience in trades, probably, but his history is in law enforcement and crunching numbers, cozying up to investors, lots of wining and dining, that sort of thing. He is the sheriff of his boardroom. Loves making slideshows.

- His middle name is Brisebois and he shrieks if you bring that up. Mac calls him Brisy to tease him.

- Prior to working for the city, he "worked" at Cochrane ranch. By "worked" I mean he "supervised" Bert and the gang of Americans and company that showed up on his doorstep; by "supervised" I mean he nearly missed tea time because he was busy learning gross habits from cowboys and drinking coffee with them and getting himself in trouble.

- Bisexual/Biromantic, attracted to both men and women with a preference for women, but his preference doesn't dictate who gets the high beams of his intense love-rays.

- Does not smoke tobacco, but will chew it on occasion (but he hates what it does to his teeth and prefers drinking).

- Has a relatively flat Americanized accent, says "yahoo!" constantly, and when he's out with his buds he just speaks like the guys from On the Bench. Uses increasingly dated/silly western slang (Well if That don’t take the rag off the bush!) when he’s annoyed with people or wants to give them a friendly tease.

- Suffers from migraines that are definitely caused by weather most of the time. He's still trying to learn how to recognize the signs in advance, but often wakes up with them.

#projectcanada cities #pc: calgary #pc headcanon #cities refs #hapo rambles

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mountain-changes · 3 years

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gender fluidity // my experience

honestly, i'm not sure who is going to read this, who will care, etc. but talking about my experience with gender has been beneficial to my journey of self-discovery. i know that as a 16-year-old, it would have actually been really nice to have someone speak about their experience as a non-binary individual, so there's also that.

the realization that i'm trans and the events that lead up to it are spread out throughout almost my entire life. once i went through puberty, i spent a lot of my time trying to fit in with the boys, stealing my brothers clothes, and up until i was 16, i didn't really see a deeper meaning in that.

my wardrobe was either full of blouses, leggings, booty shorts, spaghetti strap tank tops

basketball shorts, baggy t shirts, hoodies, jeans, cargo pants.

i always told my mom i felt like i went through "phases", because i would only be comfortable in boys clothes for months at a time, and then it would switch. obviously, clothes don't directly relate to being trans. however, once i went through puberty? it was way more than clothes. i started to notice how much it bothered me that i had such a large chest. when my friends would talk about losing their virginity, i felt left out cause i didn't relate to their experiences at all. anytime my guy friends talked about it, i genuinely felt so empty. when i was 16, i started coming to the realization that hey, maybe i AM trans. however, i was in a really toxic relationship at that time, and some of my family members weren't accepting of my identity as a lesbian, so i definitely wasn't about to risk my mental health by coming out as trans. i didn't really want to believe it anyway, so shoving it down at that time wasn't necessarily a huge challenge.

in 2019, my mental health started tanking. by the end of the year, i was going through a horrific breakup, dealing with trauma that had occurred the year prior- i figured since i was at my new rock bottom, i might as well address the identity crisis i had been shoving away for so long. i started going by a different name, then different pronouns. i went to therapy for anxiety and depression, as well as a gender-specialized therapist. it came to be pretty obvious that i had gender dysphoria..but something still didn't feel right.

i tried to shove myself into the binary for quite some time. both as a trans man and as a cis woman. neither of them worked for me. the most comfortable i have been for the longest period of time is when i have identified in the most gender-neutral fashion. however, even that started to get uncomfortable for me.

to say this process has been frustrating is a fucking UNDERSTATEMENT. i spent so much time apologizing to people for switching pronouns, names. i've been surrounded by bigots both within and outside of the trans community, who have told me and made me feel like gender-fluidity is just a fad. a joke, a way to get attention from people. i truly did not believe in the validity of my own identity until recently. and that sucks to admit, but that is the honest truth. i, like many others, was never fully educated on gender. on the fact that it's truly a social construct, and that gender norms vary across all cultures. and that it's OKAY if i don't fit into what *this* society says a woman is supposed to be, or a man, or a non-binary individual.

i have a binder for the days that i want to look as masculine as possible. people still clock me as a girl, but i do what i can. i have a wig for the days that i want to embrace my femininity to the fullest extent (not that having short hair automatically equates to masculinity, but for me personally i enjoy longer hair when i'm presenting more femme). as far as my sexuality goes, regardless of if i'm feeling more masculine or not, i pretty much always say i'm gay. i only like women. although i don't really care in those moments if i'm seen as a straight guy as well.

a lot of trans people have told me that this is all bullshit, that gender can't possibly be fluid, that there's no science supporting it. if anybody in THAT category happens to be reading this, let me explain some things to you. if i could be comfortable in my own skin at a consistent rate, don't you think i would? you really think i enjoy having dysphoric breakdowns in the mirror, in the shower, in bed with my partner? cause i don't, and i know a lot of you have had the same shit happen to you. the idea that you have to hate yourself in order to be valid in your trans identity is the biggest load of garbage i've ever seen. i struggle with my gender identity on a daily basis. i've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by more than one person. is my dysphoria consistent? no. when it's present though, holy shit is it debilitating. go ahead and ask my fiancee about all the breakdowns i've had. about all the times i've quite literally sobbed in her arms because i desperately want to take testosterone, but due to the fact that my identity is extremely fluid, it wouldn't be safe. the amount of times i've broken down cause i'm so sick of seeing my chest look the way it does. there are moments where i would do every god damn thing in existence to have those two scars, to have a flat chest so i can feel the wind, snow, sun, rain against it. so don't tell me that my identity is a joke. that i'm just trying to get attention. the last thing i give a fuck about at this point is what some nobody thinks about me. you don't have to understand my identity, but you can't act like i don't exist. my dysphoria might not fit the stereotype, might not look the same as you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. and if you have gender dysphoria, i sure as shit would hope you'd have a little more empathy in you towards people who have the same struggle.

i have days where i'm confident in the gender i was assigned at birth. i try to hold onto those days, savor them, because those days are a lot easier than the ones where i can't look in the mirror without going into a depressive episode. i've come to accept that my identity will never be a pretty, black and white picture.

i'm a sister, and a brother.

i'm a daughter, and a son.

i'm a girlfriend, and a boyfriend.

i truly hope that as time goes on that i'll find ways to make myself more comfortable, to alleviate my gender dysphoria. for now, i'm going to sit in the unconditional support i am lucky enough to have from my loved ones, and continue to try and give myself the same patience that they have all blessed me with.

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dailynewswebsite · 4 years

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Spending Review 2020: the experts react

This text might be up to date as extra reactions from our panel of specialists are available in.

“The well being emergency isn’t but over, and the financial emergency has solely simply begun.” With a worldwide pandemic for a backdrop, Chancellor Rishi Sunak has introduced a short-term spending evaluation for the 12 months 2021. With a freeze on public sector pay, an economic system declining greater than it has in 300 years and no point out of Brexit, specialists from throughout the nation share their reactions.

Financial system

Drew Woodhouse, Senior Lecturer in Economics, Sheffield Hallam College

Rishi Sunak introduced £280 billion in his spending evaluation to be unfold throughout a number of sectors, with little point out of Brexit or the local weather disaster. This included £18 billion for COVID-19, £250 million for tough sleepers, £2 billion for transport and £Three billion to native councils.

This got here within the context of the very best ranges of borrowing “in peacetime”. What was most stark was that the federal government reduce extra channels to progress than it did create them. This spending evaluation centered on short-term authorities spending coverage “plasters”, with concerns of longer-term sustainability measures.

Crucial query within the evaluation was how dangerous financial forecasts are trying. Financial output is anticipated to contract by 11.3% this 12 months – the worst end result for 300 years. With no expectations to match our pre-crisis development degree till late 2022 and the “pure degree of unemployment” not being met till 2024, that is certainly dire.

There was an undertone within the chancellor’s feedback that, to enhance the economic system’s well being, his response ought to goal actual progress by means of not directly supporting the productive “provide” capability of the economic system – the quantity companies and staff can produce. There was additionally a proper acceptance that deeply ingrained structural points, which have gripped the UK for years, also needs to be on the forefront of a “reform” effort.

On the coronary heart of the disaster is the uneven impact it has on areas and communities. So introducing a levelling up fund and an infrastructural financial institution primarily based within the north of England is a welcome method.

Then there was contradiction on wages. He introduced measures to guard wages of those that earn decrease incomes, citing that this might gas some “marginal” progress, while additionally accepting that this recession has been far worse for low-paid staff than anybody else. But by freezing public sector wages (apart from NHS nurses and medical doctors), Sunak restricted a supply of financial stimulus on the time we’d like it most.

Non-public sector wages decline faster and don’t choose up the demand slack, whereas public sector wages can act as an “computerized stabiliser” in a downturn as a result of they usually develop extra shortly throughout recessions. The freeze may even have a worse have an effect on on areas with a better proportion of public sector jobs, that are the identical areas already worst affected by the disaster.

Whereas efficient financial help is important, it have to be a part of a wider plan to get the economic system going once more, restarting progress and supporting job creation.

Jobs

Ernestine Gheyoh Ndzi, Senior Lecturer, York Enterprise Faculty, York St John College

Early on in his speech, the chancellor said that, regardless of the pandemic, the UK nonetheless has one of many lowest unemployment charges in Europe. However this assertion is very deceptive as, within the UK, folks in precarious and insecure work – resembling these on zero-hours contracts – are thought-about employed. Certainly, a lot of these contracts can have a vastly devastating impression on folks’s lives – but a ban on them has been ignored by the federal government.

However the headline assertion of the day was the pay freeze for all public sector staff – other than nurses and medical doctors within the NHS. The chancellor talked of restraining public sector pay ranges to retain consistency with the non-public sector. But in comparison with the non-public sector, public sector pay has fallen drastically prior to now a long time.

Workers within the public sector, particularly frontline providers, have labored extremely laborious all through this pandemic. And a pay freeze would seemingly have an effect on employee morale and efficiency.

The pay freeze might be interpreted as an absence of recognition and appreciation for the work public sector staff are doing. There’s additionally the chance that this can have an effect on frontline employees’s psychological well being – which has already been impacted through the pandemic.

The federal government wants effectively motivated staff to rebuild the economic system that has been hit laborious by COVID-19. However this is not going to be achieved by damaging the morale of staff.

There’s additionally the truth that the general public sector has, for some years, been struggling to recruit and retain employees in areas just like the NHS and educating, and this pay freeze will most definitely exacerbate difficulties with recruitment and retention of staff.

On this sense, it appears the federal government nonetheless hasn’t learnt its lesson from the impression of the two-year pay freeze imposed throughout the general public sectors in 2010, that resulted in elevated gender inequality and widened the gender pay hole. With the UK economic system in its steepest decline for hundreds of years, whereas a pay freeze could seem to be a superb resolution, it’s prone to create extra issues in the long term.

Private finance and pensions

Jonquil Lowe, Senior Lecturer in Economics and Private Finance, The Open College

Earnings is the important thing driver of private funds. The chancellor has introduced an earnings freeze for all public sector staff other than NHS medical doctors and nurses and a small flat-rate improve of £250 for these incomes lower than £24,000 a 12 months.

The bottom earners who’re on the nationwide residing wage or minimal wage may even see a rise of their hourly charge from April of 19p to £8.91 an hour. However this nonetheless trails behind the “actual” residing wage that individuals are estimated to wish to fulfill their residing prices of £9.50 an hour (£10.85 in London).

The earnings tax private allowance and nationwide insurance coverage thresholds and bands are being elevated from April in step with inflation (0.5%). It will give most profit to folks on modest earnings.

The federal government has additionally confirmed that modifications to the retail costs index (RPI), a generally used measure of inflation, will go forward – although not till 2030. It will see the system for calculating RPI introduced into line with the extra generally used shopper value index (CPI) that usually data inflation charges round 1% a 12 months decrease than RPI. The retired, particularly, might be affected, if they’ve non-public pensions and annuities which might be “elevated” every year in step with the RPI.

Customers might be enouraged to decarbonise their houses. Pompaem_Gogh/Shutterstock

On the spending aspect of family budgets, the spending evaluation confirmed funding for the federal government’s ten level plan for inexperienced restoration not too long ago introduced by the prime minister. Along with the large push in the direction of electrical automobiles, this contains encouraging houses – whose heating and cooking account for round a fifth of the UK’s carbon dioxide emissions – to surrender their gasoline boilers in favour of floor and air-heat pumps. Nevertheless it appears seemingly that, even with the present Inexperienced Properties Grant, most households will ultimately discover they should make investments closely in “greening” their residence heating system – although working prices thereafter could also be decrease.

Total, private funds are prone to come underneath stress over the subsequent few years as the federal government begins to deliver its funds again to extra sustainable ranges. However eventually it appears this authorities is taking the necessity to deal with local weather change severely, which is necessary because the inexperienced industrial revolution holds the promise of jobs and incomes to exchange these misplaced within the pandemic.

Infrastructure and levelling up

Anupam Nanda, professor of city economics and actual property, College of Manchester

Infrastructure is essential for unlocking financial alternatives and supporting prosperity. Infrastructure investments are inclined to have very long-term implications for the economic system and society. Immediately’s bulletins have put emphasis on utilizing infrastructure spending to help and speed up financial restoration from the pandemic.

Sunak has tried to deal with considerations of funding inequality throughout and inside areas with the creation of a £four billion “Levelling Up Fund”. Native areas can bid straight for help for initiatives from this fund.

Utilizing nationwide and regional infrastructure investments to shut the regional inequality hole is welcome, as areas such because the north of England proceed to endure closely from the continuing pandemic. Nevertheless, whether or not that is sufficient stays to be seen and can depend upon how the fund is run.

The creation of a brand new infrastructure financial institution – to be headquartered within the north of England – is sweet information. It will exchange the UK’s involvement with the European Funding Financial institution and, by encouraging non-public sector involvement in infrastructure initiatives, will result in extra streamlined funding.

The spending evaluation additionally positioned emphasis on inexperienced and digital infrastructure and renewable power use. That is very a lot wanted.

A lot will depend upon the alternatives and sorts of particular infrastructure initiatives, in addition to the combination of nationwide, regional and native funding. The success of those initiatives will depend on ability improvement and cooperation throughout the federal government departments and businesses concerned. It is going to additionally demand collaboration throughout all authorities ranges, right down to native authorities.

Learn extra: Why native governments will really feel aggrieved by this spending evaluation

COVID-19

Alex de Ruyter, Professor of Economics and Director of the Centre for Brexit Research, Birmingham Metropolis College

For this fiscal 12 months, the federal government continues to be very clearly in “no matter it takes” mode. That continues to be partially true in sure areas for 2021-22, though in different respects the federal government may be very a lot seeking to cut back help.

Complete help as a result of COVID-19 is estimated to be round £280 billion this monetary 12 months. The biggest portion is job help – an estimated £53.7 billion on the furlough scheme and an additional £19.6 billion on help for the self-employed. A complete of £113 billion has been allotted to authorities departments, of which just about half is for well being. An extra substantial quantity goes on to the devolved administrations, who’ve the ability to resolve how it’s spent.

Nevertheless, that is deceptive, because the overwhelming majority is being spent on COVID-related procurement somewhat than frontline providers. Take a look at and hint, operated by the non-public sector, has been allotted £22 billion (a really giant improve from the preliminary £12 billion). An extra £15 billion is for private protecting gear (PPE), which is eye-catching given the federal government’s poor file in getting worth for cash on this. Likewise £2.7 billion is being spent on growing and procuring vaccines.

Subsequent 12 months sees COVID-related help scaled again to a “mere” £55 billion, with practically half put aside as contingency. The extra restoration cash for the NHS appears miserly – that solely £1 billion is being spent on addressing the backlog for elective therapies is especially regarding.

Funding for councils – £5.four billion in 2020-21 and £Three billion in 2021-22 – likewise appears tiny relative to will increase in demand.

All the cash might be borrowed, though the spending evaluation suggests this gained’t be an issue, with authorities spending on debt curiosity really anticipated to fall very considerably over the subsequent few years.

Armed forces and overseas help

Simon J. Smith, Affiliate Professor of Safety and Worldwide Relations, Staffordshire College

The chancellor claimed the spending evaluation “strengthens the UK’s place on this planet”, and that the UK will stay “open and outward trying”. Nevertheless, the monetary sources required to make a convincing case for a worldwide Britain had been missing.

Rishi Sunak mentioned the overseas help finances can be reduce to 0.5% of nationwide earnings (down from 0.7%) in 2021, as retaining the present finances can be “troublesome to justify to the British folks”. A few of these financial savings, nonetheless, might be allotted to defence. It was introduced quickly after that there can be £24 billion funding in defence over the subsequent 4 years, “permitting us to offer safety not only for our nation however around the globe”.

Though it isn’t said as such, it might appear there was a discount to the overseas help finances with a purpose to present financial savings to spice up defence funding. Neither of those bulletins got here as a shock, because the prime minister signalled “the largest defence funding because the finish of the chilly warfare” on November 19, saying that “the defence of the realm should come first”.

There isn’t a doubt that this can be a severe escalation of funding and an illustration that defence secretary Ben Wallace and chief of the defence employees Normal Sir Nick Carter have satisfied the Prime Minister to verify four-year funding for the navy.

What might be prioritised for funding? Present ideas are that the cash is for a nationwide cyber pressure, an area command and a synthetic intelligence company. A fair bigger query is for what grand strategic goal these capabilities might be used.

In any case, powerful choices will should be made by way of pursuing financial savings elsewhere within the pressure. As Michael Clarke, former director basic of the Royal United Companies Institute thinktank put it, which older areas of the armed forces are going to “should be reduce to have the ability to afford the brand new bells and whistles”? Furthermore, will the British folks suppose these eye-watering prices are justified within the age of COVID and when the federal government is about to borrow £394 billion this 12 months alone.

Learn extra: Cuts to UK overseas help finances are shortsighted and will injury British pursuits

Hearken to Restoration, a sequence from The Anthill Podcast, to listen to extra about how the world recovered from crises together with the Lisbon earthquake, world wars, the collapse of the Soviet Union and the 2008 monetary disaster. Begin right here with episode one on the restoration after the Black Dying.

Anupam Nanda's analysis has been sponsored by UK and worldwide private and non-private funding our bodies and firms, together with UKRI/Innovate UK, the Actual Property Analysis Institute within the US, UK Overseas and Commonwealth Workplace, UK Division of Vitality and Local weather Change, the Funding Property Discussion board and the Royal Establishment of Chartered Surveyors. He’s a board member of the European Actual Property Society.

Simon J Smith obtained funding from the Financial and Social Analysis Council for analysis on the Drivers of Navy Strategic Reform.

Alex de Ruyter, Drew Woodhouse, Ernestine Gheyoh Ndzi, and Jonquil Lowe don’t work for, seek the advice of, personal shares in or obtain funding from any firm or organisation that will profit from this text, and have disclosed no related affiliations past their tutorial appointment.

from Growth News https://growthnews.in/spending-review-2020-the-experts-react/ via https://growthnews.in

#Growth News

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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years

Text

In other words, bisexual men are like climate change: real but constantly denied.

But the idea that only women can be bisexual is a persistent myth, one that has been decades in the making. And prejudice with such deep historical roots won’t disappear overnight.

👬👫👬👫

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease.

In 2016, bisexual men are still feeling the effects of the virus and the misperceptions around it.

👬👫👬👫

But it is still bisexual men who seem to have their very existence questioned more often.

“It got repeated and repeated in all sorts of media,” Suresha recalled. “People reported it in news briefs on the radio, in print, in magazines, all over the place.”

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists. It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’” — Amy Andre, Huffington Post

👬👫👬👫

Our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

The answer is obvious: He can equate male bisexuality with homosexuality.

“For a male to have had any kind of same-sex sexual experience, they are automatically designated as gay, based on that one-drop rule,” Herukhuti said. “And that taints them.”

“A really easy way to fix this,” Dodge added, “would be to just create a separate surveillance category.”

But when it comes to categories, our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

👬👫👬👫

“Put the champagne on the ice,” Dodge joked. “We’re no longer at the very bottom of the barrel but we’ve still got a ways to go.”

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dosomething · 7 years

Photo

Mental Health Awareness Month: Little Blue Box

by Zach Kobayashi, Marketing Assistant and Tumblr, DoSomething.org

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, DoSomething.org will be sharing stories from our members and staff. Each of these stories must include resources for mental health, which can be found at the bottom of each post. I am participating in this project to help spotlight mental health and end the stigma around mental illness. I encourage everyone willing to share their story to do so. Take care of yourself this May; exciting things are ahead for you!

The last thing my mother gave me before she passed away was a little blue box that she had painted during her stay at a mental health facility. There’s still a little bit on the front that she never painted; she had been distracted by something else and forgotten to come back to it. The box symbolized her struggle living with mental illness. It’s a daily reminder to me of the difference I want to make within the mental healthcare space. Mental illness directly affects about one in four people in the world and indirectly affects a significant number of others. Those living with mental illness have an increased risk of unemployment, poverty, abuse, self-harm, and suicide. The box my mother gave me, a representation of both her mental illness and my own, inspires me to work toward making mental illness a worldwide priority and increasing the accessibility of mental health resources.

Source: crisistextline.org

Mental illness has always played a significant role in my life. My mother suffered from what her doctors believed to be severe Bipolar Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Five days before my junior year of high school began, my mother succumbed to her mental illnesses and took her own life. This was her third attempt to overdose, but the doctors treating her were more concerned with the costs of her stay at their health facility than her mental well being, and she was released without question after each suicide attempt.

It wasn’t until she had passed away that the doctors from the facility told my family that she had suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar Disorder. Without the proper care and resources, my mother was unable to cope with her illness and win the fight against it.

Losing my mother had a profound impact on me, but these were not my only encounters with mental illness. Prior to my loss, I was also diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. ADD is often hereditary, so it’s not uncommon for the children of parents with the disorder to share a diagnosis. . I am currently taking medication to manage my ADD, but the medication is expensive and requires a monthly visit to the psychiatrist. Because of my insurance coverage, I am required to visit my doctor at home, which means leaving school and sometimes missing classes. When untreated, ADD can eliminate an individual’s motivation to act, cause minor instances of memory loss, and pull focus from relevant tasks — among other symptoms, which vary among individuals with ADD.

I have worked hard to fight the symptoms of my illness and have made a number of personal and academic accomplishments that are said to be impossible for individuals living with ADD by many who don’t understand mental illness. Last June, I graduated high school with honors, and I started my freshman year of college at New York University’s Stern School of Business last fall. I am actively involved in my school community, and I am currently working as the marketing intern at DoSomething.org, as well as running the Tumblr account. Beyond school activities, I have received certification as an Emergency Medical Technician, and I volunteer weekly with the Hillsdale Volunteer Ambulance Service when I’m not in school. I have been able to manage my disability with proper treatment and a strong determination, and I want to make the same opportunities available to every other person affected by mental illness.

My experiences have shown me that a number of mental illnesses can be managed with appropriate medical treatments and proper self-care practices; however, accessing these treatments is not always possible. Individuals struggling with manageable mental illnesses may not be able to afford expensive treatments, and the stigma surrounding mental illness may prevent others from seeking treatment. These barriers must be broken.

Strides toward breaking these barriers are being made every day. One organization working to help those in need of mental health care is Crisis Text Line (CTL). It’s an anonymous and free service that allows individuals in a moment of crisis to text with a trained crisis counselor, usually in under 5 minutes. Born out of DoSomething.org, Crisis Text Line works to ensure that nobody suffers in silence. To help Crisis Text Line in their mission, DoSomething.org is kicking off Crisis Crew, a simple and easy way to make sure that young people in need learn about the vital services CTL provides. You can sign up for DoSomething.org’s Crisis Crew campaign to help those in crisis find help.

IF YOU ARE IN REAL CRISIS, TEXT DS TO 741741.

IF YOU ARE IN NEED, CHECK OUT THESE MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:

Mental Health Awareness Month on @postitforward

We're all in this together. The story of your life can change someone else's. #PostItForward

Shine Text

#MotivationMonday every day. A daily text to help you thrive from @shinetext

Trevor Project Support Center

A place where LGBTQ youth and their allies can find answers to frequently asked questions, and explore resources related to sexual orientation, gender identity and more! Remember, if you need immediate support or help, @thetrevorproject counselors are just a phone call, chat, or text away. You are not alone.

Headspace Meditation App

Learn to meditate in just 10 minutes a day with the Headspace app. Daily meditation has been shown to help people stress less, exercise more and even sleep better.

Set to Go

Your guide to the transition from high school to college and adulthood

#mental health awareness month #mental health #mental illness #suicide #crisis text line #trigger warning #tw: suicide

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