#also pls tell me if you don't want me to tag you!

[kalashtars]

oh god they made chaos in hades ii so fucking hot oh my god oh my g

[ave-immaculata]

fellas we're once again wrestling with imperfect vs. perfect contrition and why imperfect contrition with a firm resolution to not sin again and promptly receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation doesn't save

[baldandgay]

It's very unfair that I can't have other party members romance each other In my main game where my Tav is in a romance with Karlach I should legally be allowed to have Gale and Astarion and Shadowheart and Lae'zel romance each other like why? let me do it damn it

[flufflecat]

I met a lovely bumblebee a few days ago (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

[moonchild-in-blue]

Okay guys. I know some of you do in fact go there so. Help a girl out 🥺

Who is König, like. What's his deal? The mask cloth thingy? Is he shy or smth 🥺 like Mimikyu? Or is it a "face severely scarred and disfigured from war and now I must conceal the horror" type of thing? Why is he built like a smart fridge?

I'm vaguely aware of CoD (played it like a million years ago with a friend), and I vaguely know about Soapy Boy and Ghost Normal Name. What I'm actually interested in is whoever the hell Beefcake Cutiepie König is.

Much appreciated~ xoxo 💋💋💋

[skyedice]

A very quick messy sketchie BUT REEEEEEE It' a very happy and good kind of overwhelmed tho if that makes sense Best fandom interactions I've had in a while even if it wasn't like a lengthy convo FANDOMS I ENJOY ARE USUALLY WAY LESS ACTIVE (because they're old. Like Psychonauts or Invader Zim) OR MAYBE PPL FROM THOSE ARE ACTIVE HERE AS WELL IDK GUESS I'LL FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT @luxury-nightmare @elians-terrarium @blazefirefox

[figurativepieceoftrash]

3 sentences wip game

Write 3 sentences on your writing project, post them, then tag three other people!

(Please make your own post)

Tagged by @zoppzoop, @achairwithapandaonit, @aobawilliams, and @cryptid-crawly (I technically owe twelve oops)

It's silent for a very long time. Certainly longer than can be considered comfortable. Izuku doesn't want to look up though. Doesn't want to talk. Either option would be tantamount to committing blasphemy, somehow, he thinks. To inciting a curse.

So, Tsuyu is the first to speak.

"Fuck you."

The exclamation is so unexpected that it causes Izuku to jolt upright, eyes aligning directly with Tsuyu's own. They're fiery, and caustic, and wholly uncharacteristic, so much so that he takes a sudden, inadvertent step back. 

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, well, you should be."

No pressure tags for @cyber-phobia, @owlf45, and @fanfiction-artist-prototype

[truly-quirkless-a]

What Tarot Card are You?

The Lovers.

the bounty of your heart is abundant. warmth extends from your fingertips, and your smile has the power to light the darkest of rooms. your presence is a comfort– a gift– it is something to be cherished. just beware of stretching yourself too thin; a heart cannot be full if it is constantly emptying itself for the benefit of others. extend that mercy to your own heart, so you may continue to love and let yourself be loved. your chest is not an empty cavity. NUMBER: 6 UPRIGHT: love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values

Tagged by: Stolen from @/nuravity. Tagging: @eraseur, @the-wild-card-hand (for Sero or Kaminari, have fun!), @emerald-might, @modeinthemiddle , and if you want to do this- mate, steal it, embrace the goblin-

[clemencetaught]

i wanted to make a few revisions to verse three ( since it looks like there's been a resurgence in thg rpc 🤩🤩🤩 happy to join in here <3 ) but before i get to writing out that, one more hc about his coping mechanisms in this verse:

he smokes, especially when he's stressed. despite knowing the risks, it's a habit he picked up from the capitol although he really really tries to avoid doing it when he's back in district three...it has varying results over the years. that's the only reason he would step out of the library since the librarian most likely would have asked him to not smoke inside in case of a fire

[sangvinaria]

tagged by @bloodcreature (ty!) to post the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle on my on repeat playlist so here we go!

1. Lesbian Vampyres from Outer Space by Scary Bitches

2. The Frankenstep by Matt Duncan

3. Party Fears Two by The Associates

4. The Hound And The Fox by I The Mighty

5. I Play Computer by Caustic

6. Los Ageless by St. Vincent

7. Pedestrian At Best by Courtney Barnett

8. Free by Florence + the Machine

9. Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran

10. Sushi by Merk & Kremont

tagging (if you want to do it): @nenestansunsthings @teddiebearie @idolatries @mrboatface @gumjester @gundham-tanaka-did-nothing-wrong and anyone else who'd like to do it!

[kjzx]

Just because I've been shipping quite a bit of femslash lately doesn't mean I'm not a fujo at heart... behind every Madeline x evil Madeline there's a Seroptitsa

[gasmeros]

"please update" what if i said no ._.

[yanmuffins]

waiter! waiter! more phineas and ferb reader pls!

I wonder how the batfam would react once they catch reader inventions on a random tuesday, like, "hm, what a nice day to look out on the window and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A GIANT ROBOT SPITING FIRE WHILE RIDING A ROLLERCOASTER IN MY BACKYARD???"

the events that would follow this incident would be funny and exasperating, me thinks

also, wouldn't it be funnier if Perry the Platypus was part of the JL? and like, no one knows his identity but Superman, and neither of them are willing to talk about it-

I know it would be very unlikely, since everyone there would have enough neurons to recognize a platypus with and without a hat, but for the sake of shit and giggles, just think of how funny that would be

welp, I needed to get that outta ma chest, I hope I at least made you laugh a little, because seriously this is one of the best ideas I've seen in this tag and I can't stop thinking and giggling about it

Stay well!

context.

first: i was not expecting this concept to be so popular!! the responses i've gotten from everyone are so amazing!!  ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) thank you for the ask, anon!! it always makes my day.

i am formally announcing that i will be turning phineas and ferb reader into a fic now. it's too good a concept to pass up. something more light-hearted to work between the other fics i'm writing.

batfamily finding out about reader's whacky inventions would be an event. it so wholeheartedly shatters the image they had of reader to the point they just have to sit with what the hell just happened for a while before they even consider what to do about you next. still so many things that don't make sense. their newest case is how the fuck did we go this long without finding out (Y/N) has been building mechas in our backyard and why are those things always gone when it's convenient.

then the realizations just start dropping on them like an anvil on a looney tunes character. and they kinda feel like shit, cause how did they not notice? really puts into perspective how they've neglected you all this time. so many stunts you pulled right under their nose, on their backyard, their garage, throughout gotham and metropolis. ok, were out there being creative and amazing and you sure know how to spend the wayne family money, they'll give you that, but it was so irresponsible of you! who knows what could've gone wrong. you're not like them! you're a civilian with no training, the only regular teenager in the family, you're the last person who should be exposing themselves doing all that.

bruce goes off on you, screaming about how could you be so reckless, you did all of this behind his back– what? what do you mean he gave his permission? and he is floored, devastated, blood pressure up, when you remind him of every instance you dropped by his office with a document for him to sign or to ask for permission, with proof as you pull out every paper he put his signature without a second look.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when reader's dynamic with the batfam does a complete 180 and their little yandere antennae start going off. no more whacky cartoonish shenanigans. at least not without proper supervision. they know you're not a fan of this new arrangement, but you gotta understand they let you go unchecked for way too long! they'll drown you in family activities so you don't even have to worry about it. who wants to build a teleportation machine, anyway? just join them for family movie night.

as for perry, that is going to take them a while longer to figure out. bruce just can't stand another insane discovery, so when batman sees an intelligent platypus wearing a fedora and walking on two feet on justice league headquarters (if we're going by the idea that he's a part of JL), he's just going to think "my kid has a pet platypus. huh."

oh, consider:

dick: "damian, you knew all this time?! our sibling could've gotten into serious trouble! why didn't you tell us about this?"

damian: stares into the camera like he's in the office.

[starlight-library]

Fallin' in love | FC43 (SM!AU)

pairing: norris!reader x fc34

summary: a glimpse into the relationship between williams newest rookie and lando's younger sister during the best time of the year

warning: nothing

fc: n/a!

a/n: please take this in honor of spooky season. oh i also made a ko-fi if you want to support me!

ynorris posted

liked by francolapinto, landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 938k others

yourusername 👹🎃👹🎃👹🎃

view all 839k comments

user1 CUTE CUTE CUUUUUTE

user2 ugh yes love a good pumpkin patch!!

user3 the lights. the pumpkin. the vibes. 🥺

landonorris bring me back a pumpkin!!

↳ ynorris ugh, fine i guess ↳ landonorris thank you. at least someone loves me ↳ carlossainz55 we are right here ↳ oscarpiastri yeah, babe wtf.

user4 i just know this photo dump bout to go HARD

user5 WHAT ARE THE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES??? 🗣️🗣️🗣️

francolapinto ah yes, right before disaster strikes

↳ landonorris yeah like how she should've left your ass ❤️ ↳ ynorris LANDO ↳ francolapinto no no i agree. ↳ ynorris babe ↳ landonorris see! for once we agree! ↳ francolapinto but amor, if you had left me it would've meant that your dear brother and i would have more time to bond ↳ ynorris omg you're so right babe ↳ landonorris I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS??

francolapinto posted

liked by ynorris, arthur_leclerc, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1.2m others

francolapinto 0/10. would not recommend. horrible experience.

view all 1.1m comments

user6 ZOMBIE FARMS??? nah im good

user7 wtf that looks like sm fun??

landonorris oh you made it out...

francolapinto barely, but i did it! 😌 landonorris gross. ynorris LANDO. landonorris i mean, yay... ynorris even took a jump scare for me, my hero 🥰

user8 the way i would've cried

user9 please tell me theres a video somewhere of this--PLEASE

carlossainz55 where was this so i know where NOT to go

↳ landonorris BABE PLS PLS PLS PLS ↳ oscarpiastri it looks kind of fun ↳ carlossaainz55 absolutely NOT ↳ ynorris pfttt i'll text you the address to avoid it ↳ carlossainz55 thank you.

ynorris franco had a great time, everyone he's lying

↳ francolapinto i did not have a great time

francolapinto tagged ynorris in a post

liked by ynorris, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, logansargeant, alex_albon, and 1.3m others

francolapinto we always have a hauntingly good time together

view all 984k comments

user10 god bless his looks because that was lando level horrible puns smhhhh

user11 boy PLEASE 😭😭😭

user12 someone get y/n to start proofreading all his captions im bEGGING

oscarpiastri boooooo

↳ francolapinto i made this while drunk please forgive me ↳ carlossainz55 that somehow makes it worse ↳ landonorris...it wasn't that bad ↳ ynorris 👀👀👀

user13 ooooh spooky 👻👻👻

user14 how lando wishes franco was ever since he started dating y/n 😭😭

landonorris where are your sunglasses?

↳ francolapinto lost them ↳ landonorris ...I guess i can lend you a pair. BUT I need them back ↳ francolapinto really?! ↳ landonorris don't let it get to your head ↳ ynorris thank you big bro ☺️ ↳ landonorris you're welcome

user15 LFGGGGGGG

ynorris tagged yourbestfriend & francolapinto in a post

liked by francolapinto, landonorris, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, and 1.3m others

ynorris bar at 9 and club at 10

view all 483k comments

user16 god to be going out tonight 😩

user17 I KNOW THAT GHOST GOT MOOOVES!!! 👻🪩

yourbestfriend SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

↳ ynorris EVERYBODY!!! ↳ yourbestfriend LFG!!!!

user18 Y/N and all her twins fr fr

user19 i just know they're playing bangers rn

carlossainz55 you didn't say you were going to a club!

↳ ynorris oh, i didn't?? ↳ carlossains55 NO ↳ ynorris oh...whoops? 😬 ↳ carlossainz55 YN!! ↳ ynorris gotta go!

landonorris ANSWER MY DAMN MESSAGES

↳ ynorris WHAAAAT ↳ landonorris DO YOU NEED A RIDE HOME?? ↳ ynorris NO. WE HAVE A RIDE ↳ landonorris YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL BOUT UBER ↳ francolapinto i'm giving her and the girls a ride home! i've been the guard dog all night!! ↳ landonorris ..thank you Franco. ↳ francolapinto you're welcome! ☺️

francolapinto tagged ynorris in a post

liked by ynorris, landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and 1.5m others

francolapinto the spookiest day deserves an even spookier night with a double date

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc where was my invite?

↳ ynorris next time?? ↳ charles_leclerc RUDE!!!

oscarpiastri who took the ghost arm before me??

↳ ynorris not me ↳francolapinto i was fighting carlos for a blood bag ↳landonorris BABE IM SORRY THERE'S A SECOND ARM ↳ oscarpiastri the BETRAYAL!

carlossainz55 do we really have to watch this movie? can we not watch something else?

↳ ynorris stfu you scaredy cat ↳ carlossainz55 I AM NOT--

landonorris okay, i cave. y/n you did a great job at planning

↳ ynorris aw thanks!! 🥰 but this wasn't me ↳ landonorris what?? ↳ ynorris it was all franco. my wonderfully goofy boyfriend ↳ landonorris well--credit is due where credit is done ↳ ynorris and??? ↳ landonorris and...i guess he can stick around ↳ ynorris YES!!! ↳ oscarpiastri war is over ↳ carlossainz55 finally ↳ francolapinto WOOO!!!

francolapinto love you mi amor ❤️

↳ ynorris love you too ❤️

[silversurfersx]

skater girl | max verstappen

max verstappen × driver!reader [smau]

summary: some drivers take scooters around the paddock, some walk and some just ride a skateboard, steal dogs and just won't take max verstappen skating

faceclaim: just some girls I found on pinterest :))

liked by lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: found a dog, took him home and showed him how to skate (his dad wanted to supervise 🥴) ☺️🥰🐶

tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton

_

roscoelovescoco: I had's a lot of fun's! 😍

yourusername: I did too, maybe next time we could have a playdate w/o ur dad 🤔 roscoelovescoco: dad says no 😥

maxverstappen1: why do you take him skating but you ways tell me no 😓

yourusername: cause if you fall off, redbull will have my head😅 maxverstappen1: who says I'll fall off? yourusername: me maxverstappen1: that's mean 😥 yourusername: it's true tho 🥺

user1: that is the cutest 😍

user2: I wanna go on their skate date too :((

lewishamilton: 🐶🛹 {like by yoursusername}

user3: cuties ❤

___

liked by carlossainz55, mickschumacher and others

yourusername: did some good racing, got some good points and found some cuties on magazines at the shop 🥰

(also I think mick is trying to murder me, pls send help 😦😕)

tagged: mickschumacher, carlossainz55, maxverstappen

_

mickschumacher: I am, you stole my lunch 🔪

yourusername: I didn't see your name on it 🤷‍♀️ mickschumacher: it was right in the lid, in CAPITAL letters 🤨 yourusername: 😮💀

carlossainz55: ay cariño 😍 {like by yoursusername}

yourusername: ay chili 🥰 {liked by carlossainz55}

user4: awesome drive, girl 🔥🔥

user5: p4, LET'S GOOOO!!!!!

maxverstappen1: so you bought a magazine just because of me? 🤔

yourusername: no, it had a skateboard on the front 😚 maxverstappen1: sure, sure yourusername: 💀 maxverstappen1: btw, did I see you let mick ride your skateboard earlier today 🧐 yourusername: yes maxverstappen1: so he wants to kill you and can still ride it, but I don't 🤨 yourusername: well, I know he's harmless, but the energy drink company u drive for has proper means to 💀 me user6: damn, just let the poor guy ride for a bit {liked by maxverstappen1} yourusername: no

___

yourusername posted a story

If you saw me fall, no you didn't, thanks kym for not posting that little mishap xD

maxverstappen1: can I ride now?

yourusername: no maxverstappen1: 🥺😥 maxverstappen1: then I'm not gonna let you visit sassy and jimmy 🙍‍♂️ yourusername: don't put the babies in the middle of this, max! 😡 maxverstappen1: your decision 😏🤷‍♂️

___

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1: good times 🏊‍♂️🐱

tagged: yourusername, fernandoalo_oficial

_

yourusername: you know what your doing...😐

maxverstappen1: you know my conditions, meanwhile I've found a substitute mom yourusername: I will not forget this...

fernandoalo_oficial: it was so nice to meet the two🥰

yourusername: you have no idea what you just started, nando fernandoalo_oficial: what?

user7: what is going on here? 👀

user8: I think max is threatening y/n user7: with his cats? 🧐 user8: ...apperantly

landonorris: why did you take fernando to see them but not me 😦

yourusername: would u say you've been betrayed? landonorris: maybe... 🥺 yourusername: would a little ride on my skateboard make you feel better? landonorris: maybe 😲 maxverstappen1: oh, come on!! user9: oh this is evil, I love it 😂 {liked by yoursusername}

___

yourusername posted a story

Little skating lesson w @ landonorris, it was a complete fail :/

maxverstappen1: if I reinstate you visiting schedule for jimmy and sassy, could I have a go 🥰 please 🥺 yourusername: I might consider it 🤔 if you promise to keep me save from redbull if something should happen maxverstappen1: I swear on all the cats in the world 🤞 yourusername: oh wow, that is a big promise 😯🤨 maxverstappen1: it's a big deal 😊

___

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, charles_leclerc and more

yourusername: I finally gave in just for him to decide it wasn't for him and order sushi instead to the skate park 😐

tagged: maxverstappen1

_

charles_leclerc: does that mean I can ride your skateboard now too?

yourusername: oh for gods sake 💀

[kwanisms]

Kinktober 「10:04」 — y.jeonghan

» seventeen menu | jeonghan menu | kinktober masterlist «

➮ oni!Jeonghan × fem!Reader wc: 5.3k summary: Speed dating never was Y/N’s thing but lucky for her, she just so happened to meet someone worthwhile. He asked her on a proper date which developed into a relationship. After a regular date night, Jeonghan asks Y/N if he can try something new in the bedroom. genres/themes/au: angst/fluff/smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, mention of alcohol consumption, supernatural and horror themes, mentions of: food/drink consumption, coffee; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to the reblogs join my taglists! taglist for kinktober is CLOSED. Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: this one was going to be much different but sometimes, the story writes itself. i don't have much else to say so enjoy this piece for kinktober and hbd to Jeonghan! thank you for reading! the next part is Mingyu so stick around for that! as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), deepthroating (f receiving), bulge kink, use of pet names (baby, angel, sweetheart, etc), unprotected sex (use protection pls), oral (m receiving), Jeonghan has a huge d!ck, and I think I got all of it but of course, tell me if I missed any. kinks: Bulge kink + deepthroatingdialogue prompt: ❛❛ I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already wet. ❜❜

═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════

Dating in this day and age had always been difficult for you. 

When your friend, Voxx, first suggested speed dating, you laughed it off as a ridiculous notion, not wanting to resort to something you deemed so impersonal. Your friend reassured you that it wasn’t that bad and that they had met their partner during a speed date. 

“No, I get that,” you said as you leaned back against their couch, a glass of wine in your hand as they sat on the opposite end of the couch. “I didn’t put much stock in meeting someone on a speed date but Michael has been great and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.”

You nodded, taking a sip from your glass. “Besides,” Voxx continued after taking a sip of their own glass. “How else do you expect to meet anyone? You never approach anyone at the bar, you hardly speak to anyone outside our friend group except for your coworkers,” they added, giving you a knowing look. You narrowed your eyes before lowering your gaze to your glass.

“You have a point.” 

Voxx smirked, taking another sip of wine. “It’s really not that bad and if you do get someone truly awful, you don’t have to worry about being stuck with them for very long,” they explained. “You only get a few minutes, maybe ten at most.” You nodded silently as you turned their words over in your head.

“Come on,” your friend whined. “You never know who you might meet!”

You sighed, looking up from your glass. “Fine,” you said when you saw the pleading look in their eyes. “I will attend but if it ends disastrously, I’m blaming you,” you added, pointing at them before downing the rest of your wine right as the timer on the oven went off, signaling dinner was ready and it was time for more wine.

Voxx promised to sign you up for the event, taking care of everything but sending the questionnaire for you to look over and fill out. You emailed it back to the event coordinator who was beyond excited that you were attending. Your friend told you they often hosted these events and was always this ecstatic.

The night of the event, you raided your closet, settling on a simple cream colored blouse with a small keyhole cut just above the bust. You paired it with a dark brown skirt, nude colored stockings, and a pair of stylish but comfortable heels in case you would be doing a lot of standing or walking. Grabbing your beige long wool coat to brave the elements, you were ready.

It was a Saturday afternoon which is why you chose to dress in the color palette you did. An evening event would have seen you in a much more extravagant cocktail dress and your red bottom heels you saved for special occasions.

You took the train into the city, getting off at the appropriate stop and making your way to the address provided by the coordinator which turned out to be a bookstore and cafe. You entered through the front door, greeting the cashier who then pointed you to the private room in the back. The main room of the coffee shop was rather large with couches, arm chairs, and tables placed throughout the shop. 

Every wall that didn’t have a window or doorway had a bookshelf lined with books, all separated by genre and organized by author name. It was very organized and tidy. You walked through the open doorway into another, smaller room with love seats, coffee tables, armchairs with a small end table between them. It was the perfect set up and away from prying eyes.

You saw that you were one of the first participants to show up and caught the eye of the coordinator. You only knew who she was because of the picture your friend had shown you. She walked over, smiling warmly at you as she approached. “You must be Y/N,” she said, holding your hand out. Up close, you noticed she had striking red eyes, pointed fangs, and her nails were unusually long and sharp.

As you took her hand, you felt her skin was cold to the touch and it dawned on you that you were now face to face with a vampire. “Uh,” you said, realizing she was waiting for you to answer. “Yes. I’m Y/N,” you replied. She smiled again. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Lucia,” she said. 

You thanked her, forcing a smile as you shook hands. “We’re waiting for the rest of the participants to show up but if you’d like to go grab a coffee and browse the books, feel free. We don’t start for another twenty minutes,” she added, pulling out a pocket watch — because of course she did — to check the time. You thanked her once more, looking past her at the other people in the room.

You noticed nonhuman features, inhuman eye and hair colors but also some that looked entirely ordinary. As you walked out of the room to go up to the counter, you saw a woman sporting yellow eyes with vertical slits and bits of scaly skin peeking out from under her hairline, you realized what you’d signed up for, letting out a small groan of frustration.

You quickly composed yourself as you approached the counter and ordered a simple caramel macchiato, paying and stepping aside to pay. As you waited, you pulled out your phone, shooting a quick text to Voxx, conveying your frustration.

You: YOU SIGNED ME UP FOR A MONSTER LOVERS SPEED DATING EVENT?!

Voxx’s response was instantaneous.

Voxx: I thought you might like to give it a try since your track record with humans hasn’t exactly been that great. You: a heads up would have been nice 😒 Voxx: if I had told you it was a monster lover speed dating event beforehand, would you have still gone? You: …no Voxx: exactly. Now stop texting me, put your phone on silent and enjoy the event! (:

You grumbled to yourself as you did just that, putting your phone on silent and slipping it into your pocket as the barista called out your name, setting your coffee on the counter. With your macchiato in hand, you perused the bookshelves, finding several old novels, settling on grabbing one of your favorites, Carmilla. 

With the book in hand, you returned to the back private room, moving to sit in one of the armchairs while you waited for the rest of the participants to arrive. Among the ones you'd already seen there were a couple more newer faces.

You kept count as the room slowly filled until there were a total of 19 bodies not including the hostess. There were 10 humans including yourself and 9 humanoids ranging from demons to reptilians and you were sure there was even the odd werecreature. The numbers were uneven though, which you thought odd unless there was meant to be one person without a match each round.

You saw Lucia look around and check her pocket watch once more before getting up and moving to the front of the room. She cleared her throat before smiling, looking around at the guests.

“Good afternoon,” she greeted. “And welcome to the annual Unconventional Couple's Speed Dating Event.” A light, scattered applause rang throughout the room, soft but noticeable. 

“Each year, my partner and I host this event to help humans and non-humans come together and meet in a safe environment without the judgment of others,” Lucia explained in a clear calm voice, her warm smile ever present on her lips.

“My partner, Greg, and I met 9 years ago by sheer coincidence and it was practically love at first sight. We decided after being together for four years that we wanted to help others like us meet and potentially find their match.”

As you sipped your coffee, you listened to Lucia's speech. It wasn't as if you were uninterested in dating a monster, it just wasn't something you'd put much thought into before. 

A loud bang rang out, making you jump in your seat along with several others and you turned your head in the direction of the sound to see a tall, and rather attractive, man bent over, nursing his knee. He'd run into one of the end tables by the door upon entering.

He looked up, his paint expression melting instantly when he realized he had all eyes in the room on him. He stood up straight, grimacing as he walked further into the room. “Sorry,” he whispered, moving quickly to take the empty armchair by yours.

Several of the others sent icy glares in his direction before returning their attention back to Lucia who started to speak again, going over the rules of the event. Your attention waned as the man in the armchair next to you shifted in his seat.

“If looks could kill,” he muttered. You threw a glance his way, noticing he was staring past you. His eyes shifted, meeting yours and you knew instantly, he was not a regular man.

He had brown eyes that seemed to glow slightly which bordered on uncanny territory for you. From this close proximity, you could see that he was even more attractive than you previously thought.

He had a medium golden skin tone with reddish brown hair, strands falling into his eyes. From between strands of hair, two small dark brown horns peeked out, the tips rounded into nubs.

He wore a white button down under a caramel colored sweater with dark brown fitted pleated pants and black oxfords. Over the entire ensemble, he wore a light cream colored long coat with brown buttons and a sash that hung untied.

He nodded pointedly past you, bringing you back to reality. You turned, following his gaze to find a pair of icy blue eyes staring at the two of you before turning away to look at Lucia. You turned to look at the man once more. His gaze met yours and he smiled, giving you a wink before he turned his attention to the front of the room.

After explaining the rules, Lucia had ten participants, half the humans and half the nonhumans, sit while the remaining half would be the roaming half. It worked out that all humans sitting would be paired with nonhumans and vice versa.

You were lucky enough to be included in the group that was seated, removing your coat and draping it over your seat as Lucia passed out cards with a list of potential questions to ask. You looked over the card, chuckling to yourself at the logo. You read over the questions, rereading them a few times so you wouldn’t have to keep looking at the card.

Lucia then explained you would have up to ten minutes with your date before the timer went off. You were the second to last in the rotation of human females. The first nonhuman to sit in the armchair next to you was a werewolf named Liam. He was nice enough but he had some rather interesting ideas about his ideal family that you weren’t entirely on board with.

As he got up and moved to the next station, the man from before sat down, smiling at you as he settled back in the chair. “Well, hello again,” he said softly, grinning broadly at you. “Hi,” you said holding back a chuckle as you set your almost empty macchiato down on the table.

“I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself earlier,” he said. “I’m Jeonghan.” You looked up as he held out a hand. You took it, shaking his hand. “Y/N,” you replied. “So uh, tell me Jeonghan,” you started, clearing your throat and glancing at the cards.

“What color would you say best describes your personality?”

Jeonghan’s smile widened as he let out a low laugh. “Color?” he asked. “Maybe a nice deep red. Like a merlot,” he said, smirking at you. “What about you? Any color out there to let me get an idea of who you are?” he asked, tilting his head curiously. “Purple,” you answered quickly.

“Purple? Is that like an eggplant or —”

“No,” you answered, shaking your head. “Like a bright, vibrant, almost neon purple.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up as he looked you over. “Neon purple?” he asked. “You?” You nodded, holding back a smile. “You look more like a baby pink. Pastels,” he said as he straightened up. You laughed to yourself, nodding as you looked down. “You should see me at night,” you replied.

“Is that an invitation?” 

You lifted your head to look at him. His smirk had grown, looking even more mischievous as time went on. You found yourself holding his gaze. His eyes were so beautiful and there was something behind them that drew you in but you couldn’t place it. He was overall mesmerizing.

“We only have like five minutes left,” he said suddenly, drawing you from your trance. “Right, you said, glancing down at the card again. Your mind seemed to go blank whenever he opened his mouth. It was unlike you and an entirely new experience but it was one you were liking.

“What are you most passionate about?” you asked, reading from the card.

“Sex. Next,” Jeonghan answered, making you choke on your spit. He laughed as you picked up your drink and sipped, trying to quell your cough. “I’m kidding,” he added as you managed to subdue your coughing fit. “That was supposed to make you laugh. Not potentially kill you.”

You waved your hand, dismissing his concern. “I’m fine,” you gasped, setting your cup down. “I’m passionate about food,” he said as you regained your composure. “Food?” you asked, looking up at him. He nodded. “I love food. Good food is important to me.”

“Okay,” you said, shifting in your seat to face him properly. “Your friends are coming over for dinner, what are you cooking?” you asked. Jeonghan smiled as he leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand, his elbow resting on the arm of the chair. “What friends?” he joked.

You rolled your eyes. “Fine,” you said, giving in to his teasing. “Do you snore?” Jeonghan asked abruptly,” you looked up at him, alarmed. “What?” you asked. “Do you snore?” he asked again. You stared at him silently for a few minutes before answering. “Only when I’m sick,” you said, looking down at the card once more.

“Do you have any party tricks?”

Your question made Jeonghan laugh loudly. “Take me to dinner first,” he said with a wink. Your cheeks burned as you met his gaze. The line itself was enough to have you flushing but the wink just added an extra amount of cheese to it.

You glanced down once more but Jeonghan leaned forward, grabbing the card out of your hand and sat back as you looked up at him. He crumpled the card in his hand, giving you another mischievous grin. “Ask me something off the top of your head,” he said softly, cocking his head to the right.

Your mind went blank as you stared at him. Being put on the spot like this made you nervous as hell. ‘What could I possibly ask him?’ your mind went reeling as you tried to grasp for something to ask. Jeonghan checked his watch, glancing up at you. He made a soft ticking sound, as if to try and pressure you into asking a random question. One that wasn’t printed on the card.

“I am so sorry,” you said softly. “My mind is completely blank.” Jeonghan chuckled as he set the crumpled up card on the table. “That’s alright,” he said, picking up his coffee and downing the rest of it as the timer went off, signaling that 10 minutes had passed.

You felt your heart sink. You didn’t want the time with him to end. He got up and grabbed his coat before he leaned over as the participants started to move to the next station. “When the next round ends, meet me outside. This is boring as hell and you are most certainly not,” he whispered in your ear before standing up, giving you another wink with a smile before he turned and headed for the last date as your third one sat down. 

The third round wasn’t nearly as entertaining or interesting as Jeonghan had been. He was a shapeshifter named Kai and he was nice, much nicer than Liam, but he was also quite awkward. When the round finally ended, you felt relief wash over you.

Lucia stood at the front of the room, calling for everyone’s attention.

“Now that we’re finished, I’d like you to fill out the back of the card I gave you and write down the names of the participants you’d like to meet again,” she said. “And afterwards, if you’ll stick around, we have a few ice breaker games to get to know everyone a bit more.” 

You looked around as everyone flipped over their cards and started writing. You grabbed your wrinkled one and picked up the pen before writing down one name only: Jeonghan.

Looking up, you saw Jeonghan get up, walk up to Lucia and slip the card into a small box on a table next to her. You saw him briefly exchange words with her before he turned and started for the door. He met your gaze, sending you a wink before he disappeared out the doorway into the main area.

Following your instincts,” you got up and walked up to Lucia. She smiled as you slipped the card into the box. “Are you going to be staying for the ice breaker games?” she asked, sounding hopeful. You forced a smile, shaking your head. “Sorry,” you replied. “I actually had something come up. Family emergency.” Lucia smiled politely. “Of course,” she replied, nodding understandingly.

“Thank you again.” you added. “This was a very informative experience.” You exited the room, returning your book to the shelf and dropping your used mug off at the counter.

Once you were back outside, you looked up and down the sidewalk, hoping to see Jeonghan standing nearby but you didn’t see him anywhere. You felt your heart sink, wondering if you’d taken too long as you continued to look around.

You walked towards the edge of the sidewalk, looking on the opposite side to see if maybe Jeonghan had crossed over. You were getting more and more dejected as you didn’t see him anywhere. You sighed, hoping that Lucia would at least be able to pair you up as you turned and started down the street towards the bus station.

“There you are,” a voice said from behind you. Turning, you saw Jeonghan walking out of the coffee shop and waited as he jogged lightly to catch up. “Thought you had taken off,” he said as he matched your pace, tucking his hands in his coat pockets. You smiled as you walked along. “I thought the same actually,” you said, making him chuckle.

You walked in silence for a few minutes until he skipped ahead, moving to stand in front of you just as you reached the bus stop. “Alright,” he started. “So, I’m sure you wrote my name down. I wrote yours down and only yours,” he added. “So how about we skip the middle and I take you out tonight?” he asked.

Your heart skipped a beat as a smile spread across your face. “Okay,” you said softly, feeling suddenly shy. Jeonghan snorted. “Well, jeez,” he started jokingly. “Don’t go jumping for joy. Wouldn’t want you to die from excitement.” You laughed, playfully swatting at him. “I’d love to,” you replied.

Jeonghan smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Then let’s not wait for Lucia to do her thing,” he said, unlocking the screen and tapping away. “We can just exchange numbers now.” You quickly pulled your phone out and pulled up a new contact as Jeonghan held out his phone. You exchanged with him, typing in your name and number, adding a purple heart emoji.

When you had your phone back in your hands, you read his contact card. His name had the red ogre emoji next to it with the sunglasses smiley face. You shot him a quick text before pocketing your phone. “So what time were you thinking?” you asked, looking up at him as he checked his phone before slipping it back into his coat pocket.

“How about seven?” he asked. “And if you don’t want me to know where you live, let’s just meet there, yeah?” he asked. You nodded. “Meet where?” you asked. Jeonghan nodded towards your pocket. “I sent you the address. It’s a restaurant I love and I’d like to actually share it with someone.”

You pulled out your phone, looking at the notification. You would look it up later to make sure it was actually a restaurant. You trusted that Lucia would vet all the participants pretty well but you could never be too certain. “So, I’ll see you at seven?” he asked as the bus pulled to the stop.

You pulled out your bus pass as the doors opened, several passengers getting off. “Seven,” you agreed, looking back at him with a smile before getting onto the bus, scanning your pass and taking a seat. You waved at him as he stood on the sidewalk. He waved back, smiling as the bus started to roll forward and soon he was out of view as the bus continued down the street.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and fished it out, checking your messages.

Jeonghan👹😎: you’re really pretty (:

You chuckled as you typed a response back.

You: so are you ;)

Jeonghan’s reply was instant.

Jeonghan👹😎: see you at seven, beautiful

One date with Jeonghan turned into two which turned into a third and after a few weeks, you were dating pretty regularly. Lucia had contacted the both of you a few days after the speed dating event to inform you that you had both selected each other and she passed on your contact details but you already had exchanged them.

Your regular dates turned into something romantic and sexual after a couple months and by the third month, you had agreed to be exclusive. You really liked Jeonghan. He was smart, funny, charming, and a little bit annoying but you liked his teasing.

On the surface, he liked to joke around, tease, and play pranks but under that silly exterior was an extremely caring, loving, and passionate person. You learned on the fourth or fifth date that Jeonghan was an oni. You knew from the start that he wasn’t human but that didn’t bother you in the slightest. If anything, it made him much more alluring and added to his appeal.

You’d never truly considered dating any monsters before but now that you had, you were certain you probably wouldn’t ever date human men again. Your past with dating had been turbulent and rocky to say the least but ever since meeting Jeonghan, things had been so much easier. Your relationship with him seemed to come naturally to the both of you.

In the bedroom, things were beyond amazing. Jeonghan was neither pushy or hasty to make you do anything you didn’t want to. Sex with him was as easy as breathing. All you needed to get into the mood was some playful banter, a few light touches, and some whispered dirty words and you were putty in his hands. He was a skilled lover and you were never left unsatisfied.

After a date night out, you returned to your apartment, inviting Jeonghan in for a moment which you knew would turn into more if you played your cards right. 

“I’m never ordering that again,” Jeonghan said as you giggled, letting him into your apartment as you stood in the doorway. Once the door was shut, you moved to set your purse on the kitchen counter, fishing out your wallet and phone as Jeonghan walked up behind you. You felt his hands on your waist as he pressed into your backside.

“I like this dress on you,” he murmured, lips brushing against your exposed shoulder. “Yeah?” you asked softly, leaning back against him. He hummed in response, pressing a few kisses to your shoulder before you turned around in his hold, reaching up to comb your fingers through his hair. “I think the only thing that would be better is if you took it off,” he said, leaning in to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

Your fingers curled into his hair, pulling him closer as your lips parted, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You felt his fingers dig into your hips, pulling them flush against his. Pulling back slightly, you smirked as he tried to chase your lips. “Maybe you should take it off,” you whispered, nuzzling his nose. Jeonghan let out a groan, sliding his hand down to cup your ass before moving to pull your thigh up, pressing his clothed crotch into you.

“Bedroom,” he muttered, peppering kisses along your jaw. “Now.”

You did as he demanded, heading for the bedroom with him on your heels. Once inside, you heard the soft click of the door shutting as you turned on the bedside lamps. Jeonghan was on you in an instant, pulling at your dress, kissing your neck, littering your skin with love bites as he guided you towards the bed. “I’d like to try something new tonight,” he whispered between kisses.

His hands unzipped the side of your dress, hands moving up to slide the straps of your dress down your arms and letting the garment fall to the floor at your feet, leaving you in your lingerie and heels. “What’s that?” you asked as you stepped out of your dress, kicking it across the wood floor.

Jeonghan cupped the side of your neck just under your jaw. “Climb onto the bed,” he said softly. You glanced down at your feet. “My heels,” you started. Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Shit, right. Let me handle that.” he said, kneeling down to quickly remove your shoes one at a time. He tossed them aside, ignoring the clatter they made as they bounced across the wood.

“Now, sit on the bed,” he said, gently nudging you. You followed his instruction, sitting on the edge of the mattress, looking up at him as you waited for further instruction. Jeonghan leaned down, pressing a kiss to your lips and cupping your cheek.

“You know I absolutely love it when you use your mouth,” he started softly. “And I love the way you do it but I’ve really wanted to fuck your mouth for a while now,” he continued. “I’d really like to try it, if you’ll let me.” You nodded, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand over your face and kissing his palm. “And I promise to reward you,” he added. “Of course,” you answered. “I love trying out new things with you.”

Jeonghan leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. Standing up straight he pulled his tie loose, discarding it on the floor before undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one, keeping his eyes on you. He dropped the shirt to the floor, moving his hands to undo the zipper of his pants.

“Here,” you said, reaching out to grab him by the waistband of his pants.

You made quick work of his pants and underwear, pushing them down his thighs, revealing his already hard and leaking cock. You took him in your hand, opening your lips and taking the head into your mouth. Jeonghan let out a throaty groan, one hand moving to the back of your head.

You moved your head, bobbing and taking more and more of his cock into your mouth. You felt the tip hit the back of your throat as he thrust slightly, making a wet gagging sound. You pulled back, waiting a moment before resuming. 

You felt his grip on your head tighten as he pushed you further down. “Just a little more,” he groaned. “I know you can do it, sweetheart.” You obliged him, sinking his cock further into your mouth until you felt the head push into your throat. Jeonghan let out a loud moan, throwing his head back.

“Fuuuuck, baby,” he groaned, swallowing thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. He let out a shaky breath, lowering his gaze to look down at you. The hand on the back of your head moved up to the top, slightly tilting your head back. More of his cock sank into your throat at this angle.

He let out another strained moan as he felt your throat constrict around his cock. He moved his other hand down to your throat, fingers feeling the bulge of his cock in your throat. “Oh, shit,” he whispered. “That’s so fucking hot.” He wrapped his fingers around your neck, squeezing slightly.

After a moment, he pushed your head back slowly, his cock slipping out of your throat.

Once freed, you pulled back, gasping as air filled your lungs. “You alright, baby?” he asked, gently caressing your cheek. You nodded, coughing slightly. “You okay to keep going?” he asked, his voice sounded full of concern. Again, you nodded. “Yeah,” you said. “M’Okay.” 

Regardless, Jeonghan gave you a few moments to recover your breath before letting you continue. “If you need to stop, just tap my thigh, okay?” he asked. You nodded, taking his cock in your hand, you stroked him quickly before taking the head back in your mouth, the weight of his cock heavy against your tongue.

Jeonghan’s hips thrusted forward, burying his cock further into your mouth. You removed your hand, moving your hands to his hips as he set a slow, steady pace. You kept your jaw lax, letting him fuck your mouth at his own pace. Each thrust made that same wet gagging sound at the back of your throat, filling the room with nothing but that sound.

His fingers curled into your hair, tightening his grip on your head as he guided you to move into his thrusts. “Fuck,” he groaned. “M’close.” He slowed to a stop, pulling his cock from your mouth. “Up,” Jeonghan ordered, holding his hand out for you to take. He pulled you up onto your feet before turning you to face the bed, pushing you onto it. He removed his pants quickly before cupping your sex.

“Holy shit,” he groaned. “I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already wet?” he asked. You whined, wiggling your hips. “Don’t tease me, Hannie.” He chuckled, moving to pull your panties down your thighs. “God, look how fucking wet you are. Fucking soaked,” he growled, fingers swiping through your folds before sinking into your cunt. You let out a moan as he slowly curled his fingers.

“Please, Jeonghan,” you whimpered. “Please fuck me.”

You heard him chuckle as he removed his fingers, bringing them to his mouth and cleaning them. “You sure you’re ready for me, angel?” You nodded eagerly. “Please,” you whined. “Please. I can take it.”

Jeonghan chuckled again, grabbing the base of his cock and gliding the tip between your folds, gathering your arousal before pushing the head into your slit, the warmth of your cunt welcoming him as he glided in, unrestricted. Each inch filled your walls, stretching you slowly to accommodate his size. “F-fuck,” you gasped as he bottomed out, tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

“So f-full,” you groaned. Jeonghan gave you a harsh thrust, making you cry out sharply. “You really sure you’re ready, my love?” Jeonghan asked, moving his hands to your hips. You nodded once more. “Yes,” you whined, feeling him retract slowly. “Please just fuck m-me!” you gasped as he snapped his hips forward, filling you in one, sharp thrust.

“Oh I plan to,” Jeonghan said softly. “You might wanna hold on, sweetheart,” he added.

“You’re in for a long night.”

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