#also playing around with this new pixel brush for fun

[goatpaste]

So with pillarfam!Holly you've shown in a post that it took time for Kars to see her as her granddaughter because of how he sees her as all her mistakes but then grows to realize she is his granddaughter and fully (? not sure if he fully accepts her by that post) accepts it.

So does that mean by Jotaro's time Kars is more well handled with these things, like Jotaro being his great grandson, and treating him like that and not being so hesitant around him?

I really hope this came of clear 😭, I feel like I'm just rambling around at this point

ugh so! its no easy yes or no answer

Kars and Holly have the most (mostly) unspoken issues between each other, and they go unspoken for the most park until Holly is well into her adult years.

Kars, as someone who has no choice in being in this family set up has mostly come to terms with it, he loves Holly. for the most part. He accepted that this is his granddaughter. but accepting her someone he cares about, not associating her with his failures its not an overnight task.

so in short, no. By the time Jotaros around, he's better. Less outburst, less letting his upsets be known. (mostly just not being around, Holly was too smart for her own good, she always could tell he didnt quiet see her when he looked at her with those cold eyes of his)

but damage is done, Jotaro does see most of his family beyond his mom, growing up. Especially Kars. When he does visit he likes Kars, and Kars is as 'kind' as he can be to the boy. Took awhile.

When learning Holly was having a child i think he had fingers crossed that that thing came out pure human or not at all. Yet here he it is, another half pillar man on the world. another thing to taunt his failings.

Damage is done, when growing up Jotaro who as a child gets along with his grandfather, likes many things Kars likes and in a way understands him when he prefers to stay away from others and be on his own with his research.

The damage is done when Jotaro, so young thinks he has a lot in common with his grandfather, but then hears the way his human family members talk about him. wonders if they think he's a monster to.

Jotaro has less of a constant bad rift with his grandfather, more of a rift with himself and the part of himself that is reflected in his grandfather. Rift between himself and his mom who never breaks a smile and never shows she's struggling to. Jotaro thinks he's alone in his feelings.

Kars kinda doesnt get over himself until P3.

When he's told Holly might die. When he has to see her laying there in that bed looking half dead. God... he realizes he can lose her. He thinks about how he though the lost Esidisi, Wham, even santana. Dear god, he could truly lose her and theres nothing he can do but sit by her and wait. He's spent so long wishing she was never born and now that she might be taken from him...

I think for the narrative of Pillar Fam, thats his breaking point. When he begins to think of Holly more as his families victory, their way of reaching the sun. Through Holly.

its not perfect, there is still lasting issues. I see both Jotaro and Holly as people who kinda are just kinda always a little bit sad forever.

sorry for the rambling

but yeah! its a, it gets better. it takes so much time, maybe too much time to fix anything. but it gets better.

[tickfleato]

how to make cool blobby turing patterns in photoshop

i'll preface with i learned the basic loop from skimming a tutorial on youtube, but as someone who prefers written tutorials i'm sure many would appreciate one! also, the second part of this is some of the visual effects i figured out on my own using blending modes and stuff.

i'm using photoshop CS4 on a mac so some buttons and stuff might be in different places on windows and newer photoshop versions but all the actions are the same. my canvas is 1000x1000 pixels.

UPDATES (i'm hoping these'll show up whenever you open the readmore?)

it's possible to do something similar in krita using this plugin, made by the love @arcaedex

it's also possible to do this in photopea, a free browser alternative to photoshop! the results are pretty much identical.

FIRST off you wanna get or make a black and white image of some kind. it has to be one layer. can be noise, a photo, a bunch of lines, whatever. here's mine, just some quick airbrush lines:

now find the actions tab. idk what it looks like in newer versions of photoshop but you probably won't need to dig!

hit the little page thingy to make a new pattern. once you hit 'record', it'll record everything you do. the little square 'stop' icon will end it.

now you want to do a high pass filter. you can mess around with the radius to change the size of your squiggles, but the tutorial had it set to 6. experiment!

now add the 'threshold' adjustment layer. i use the adjustments tab but i think there's also a dropdown menu somewhere. keep it at the default, 128. merge it down. (control or command + E or you can right click it like some kind of weirdo)

and finally, the gaussian blur! the radius of this affects the shape and size of your squiggles as well. i like to keep it around 4.5 but you can mess around with that too.

after that, hit 'stop' on the action you're recording, and then repeat it a bunch of times using the 'play' button, until you have something you like, like this:

WOW!! that was fun!! and only a little tedious thanks to the power of macros. anyway, here's some fun layer blending stuff i like to do. it's with a different pattern cause i made this bit first.

anyway, using a black and white gradient (or a grey base that you do black and white airbrush on), make a layer with the vivid light. this will make the blobs look thicker or thinner.

then, for cool colors, do a gradient map adjustment layer over that:

and finally, my best friend, the overlay layer. just using a gradient here bc i'm lazy, but feel free to experiment with brushes, colors, and blending modes!

NOW GO. MAKE COOL SHIT WITH THE POWER OF MATH. AND SEND IT TO ME

also these are not hard and fast rules PLEASE mess around with them to see what kind of weird shit you can make. here's a gif. as you can see i added some random airblush blobs in the middle of it, for fun.

[silly-lil-scribbles]

new dyhard doodle as promised <3

i was playing around with the pixel brush this time so i hope you guys like it!! had fun with this one :D

my original post

also everyone thank my friend for this one, xe gave me the pose idea here (kobracola save me.. save me kobracola..)

@jetstar2828 < previously mentioned friend, you can also thank them for the next 74 FUCKING DRAWINGS THANKS A LOT FOR THAT. THIS IS SO GREAT. ITS JUST WHAT I NEEDED. MORE PROMISED ART. AS IF I DIDNT ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH. (/lh)

i love dressing up alice in fun outfits like a little doll, i can trust in her to be a good model

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖

[holycorrupt]

if you have the time/energy to elaborate, what's your process like for coloring stuff you ink traditionally? i've figured out a few different methods over the years, but i generally stick to fully digital or traditional for a piece, so i'm curious to see how you do it! :0

This is such a fun question for me because I get to both ramble about my art process and have an excuse to throw some colors on this Breloom I drew ages ago.

I use Clip Studio Paint and an Ipad for my digital stuff so I'll be referring to the processes on that but I'm sure there is a work around for other programs as well :^)

I scan my traditional art at 400dpi because it's always easier to work bigger with digital stuff and resize it smaller then the other way around :^)

So here's our raw scan, which already looks very decent but when I want to color something I like for everything to be much cleaner/sharper/more contrast-y and to get rid of the noise from the paper texture lmao. A well lit photo will also do the job because that's what I did for many years before getting my scanner but tbh if you're a traditional -> digital artist like myself a scanner is like a best friend you can buy HAHA

First things first, I apply a Gradient Map Layer > New Correction Layer > Gradient Map

Clip has a really nice black and white map preinstalled but I made myself a custom map just by pushing the black and white a little closer, it completely clears up all the noise and makes everything really crisp! Make sure you check on your lines when adjusting things because super fine feather lines can sometimes be lost if you make the contrast too high. Extra tip! If you want to make Graphite Pencil or Ball Point Pen really nice looking as well, just add a dark grey point in the gradient map closer to the black then middle...works perfectly :^)!!

This is the point I look for stray pixels, cat hairs, ect and make sure to erase any surrounding doodles or sketches I don't want included.

GOD DAMN Those lines are CRISP-Y!!!

Next up we're going to want to go Edit > Convert brightness to opacity

Tbh If I didn't have this method idk what I would do with myself.... I've tried the whole "Lineart on top layer set to multiply" Method and ...ehh....

Now that I have a nice transparent line art I'll stick a new white layer down below it because the checker pattern hurts my eyes LOL

I'm going to add a read more here since this post is getting lengthy haha

I'm going to quickly go over the style I use for MTE! It has been refined to be quicker and easier to do since you know...I have a week time limit per page ... 😭 I have a completely different way I do colors for other things I want to spend more time on but I might explain that one in the future...I'm running out of steam tonight LOL

I use this really awesome brush pack that has a pencil like texture and I love it to bits...here's a link to it if your interested!

At this point I might add some overlay layers or play around with an airbrush but I think this guys done for now :^) I tend to stay away from highlights with my shading for MTE..My biggest goal is to make sure everything is clear and readable! That being said I break my own rules all the time for special panels that need the extra 'oomf!'

Slap a lazy square background and yay!! He's done!

Hope this was interesting aaaa Thank you again for the ask!!

[cleothelittlerockstar]

=×⭐Aren't they gorgeous?⭐×=

Who? The new Starmaker?

🌟 Yes

🌟⭐ Them.

🌟⭐♥️ I mean..

🌟⭐♥️⭐ Just

🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟 look at

🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟 them...

🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟🌟⭐♥️⭐🌟

=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×=×

🌟

\___________________♥️_____________________/

,,I mean, I guess they are."

/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\+/+\

(Click the image for best quality)

I decided to change up the formula for this post because I am just so fuckin proud of how this turned out so a rant about my progress and work on this peice under the cut!

HAZAH! BEHOLD!

FOR I BRING ANOTHER DRAWING TODAY!

This one is called The new Starmaker!

It is based off of an AU/HC I had for a while based on the fact that the more Crowley (as an angel) began to question things during his conversation with Azi his wings turned darker and darker.

Sooo...

What if, days, hours maybe even moments before his fall...

His wings became a galaxy, an omen of hope for him that maybe he was doing the right thing questioning things before God struck him down.

But yeah! All in all, I am really proud of this one♥️, it took me half a day to finish in total because Pixel studios kept crashing on me. Fuck you Pixel Studios (I love you) and I actually did two vers of the BG on this one!

So let's look at it together!

So this is Ver. 1

-Basically just a void behind him, I thought it added a nice contrast and people I showed it to seemed to like it but when I came back to look at it I dunno

-It just kinda felt bland, ya know?

-Like yes the colors do contrast nicely and the lil stars around him pop more but eeeeeh

-I dunno, I just didn't vibe with it with that bg

So I went to Ver. 2!

-I liked this one a lot more than the original one because why yes, I am a sucker for color

-Oh and it gave me the chance to test out the brushes Pixel has to offer

-I really like the cross looking ones!

-Okay but back onto the art

-I just genuinely liked the vibe of this one more than the last

-(Also got to give my boi a halo so WAHOO)

-And I got to play around with a lot of details for the bg and stuff

So with that out of the way, as a closing touch I wanna just show off some of the bits I had the most fun with while doing this!

(Again, click for better quality)

So first off! I had so much fun with the bg gradients it isn't even funny. Like the lil pixels scratch my brain just right when I drew them.

Oh and the wings. They were REALLY fucking fun to draw.

Love em, need em, gonna do more of them soon ^^

But my most favourite part of this was ♥️Crowley's hair!♥️

Like I just zoned out for a good forty minutes, made the hair look like a galaxy on accident, had the program crash on me and erase all the progress and do it all over again.

But like.

In my not so humble opinion (because I have the ego the size of a blue whale, deal with it) I think it turned out TERRIFIC!

Like I just MWAH!

I love how I drew it!

===×=×==×

But yeah, that's pretty much it! Thank chu for reading my art rant and see you on the next post, baiii!

[brie-draws]

hi! do you happen to have any tips/advice for creating pixel art? i'm a huge fan of your work and have always wanted to do pixel art myself but i've found it pretty difficult to understand x_x

Hihi!!! Giving advice is hard because I kind of live by the "fuck it, we ball" way of life but I'll try my best!!!

Not necessary in all cases but I think page sizing is important!! I used to draw on like 3000x3000 canvases now I think I only reach that with refs... I think in general it's easier on smaller canvases, and if you need to size up for posting sake, Photoshop can do it [or I think there's sites that can as well?]. If you're wanting to do certain things [icons/icos, rpgm assets, whatever], they do tend to fit into certain constraints so thats important!! Similarly, there's nothing wrong with drawing something on a 1000x1000 canvas and then scaling down the image to 100x100 and lining over it!!

I tend to sketch with non-pixel brushes first unless I'm lazy, just because I feel it makes it easier!!

A small thing that I'm trying to take heed of too is going back over artwork and deleting some pixels to make the lines less "clumpy" (ofc, it depends on style too! I like thin lines usually though, especially on things that are 48x48 to maximize space!!)

I draw (mainly) in Sai and MediBang (for mobile). Things like MediBang and CSP also have downloadable brushes, which for things like screentoning I find important!! [Usually, I'll draw in MediBang or Sai, edit further in CSP]. For Sai, I just use the standard Binary brush and an edited version as an eraser:

For MediBang, I just go into settings and check "Turn off anti-aliasing" and use the normal pen brush and eraser; Only word of advice though it it does create some not fully solid pixels, but you can either go over them or duplicate the image a whole bunch and then combine the layers.

As for further stuff I think it's also just important to look at things you like!! What started me into pixel art was playing a lot of rpgmaker games [Ib, Yume Nikki, Mad Father, The Witch's House, ectect] Now I also like things like the art of older systems and games, like TokiMeki Memorial 1994 has some beautiful artwork:

And the pixel sprites in all the BlazBlue games has been really inspirational in the last couple of years for me as well!!!

I hope this helps in some capacity 'w'999!!! For me, I think experimenting and playing around with stuff is the most important and having fun!!! [Which is why I'm so inconsistent bc it's just fun to try new things n see what sticks, what you like, can improve on, ectect!!!]

[616witch]

someone asked me for a tutorial of the sticker effect from this diana edit, so here's one! this works either on photoshop or photopea, i'm sure you can get similar effects with other apps though.

i'm using this wanda art by pepe larraz for this effect. after placing her into a panel, i'm going to add a white stroke on the outside at around 25 pixels, but more or less depending on the side of your image. i may also make a new layer behind her, and fill in any gaps with a hard white brush and either link the layers or merge them.

next, i apply a white crumpled paper texture (specifically one without paper folds) on top with the clipping mask and with blending mode set to multiply. you might want to play around with the opacity.

back on the wanda layer, i add a drop shadow. my effects are blend mode; multiply & colour black, angle 125, distance 15, spead 0 and size 25, but you can experiment as you see fit.

i merge / rasterize the layers, and duplicate the layer so i have one in each corner! as a bonus, i also add a glittery texture on the front, usually overlay at around 50% opacity and also one on the background :) this was my final image!

hope this helps! it's a super easy and fun effect to do!

[theromanticscrooge]

Thinking About Writing a Sims Retrospective...

I started playing The Sims when I was 11 years old. The original game was at the end of its run. So, I had access to pretty much all of the packs and gameplay. Rosebud was a godsend for unlocking the fun gameplay immediately. I remember having little pixel people making out on a bear rug in a log cabin while nervously looking over my shoulder to make sure my dad wasn’t watching. There was another time when I used an external editing program to try and recreate the Teen Titans from the 2003 animated series with a horrible air-brushed, MS Paint-esque result. Of course I showed my friends because I was proud of my jerry-rigged custom content. Beast Boy ate turkey because “there weren’t many vegetarian options.” Every meal option, outside of some buffet options, Makin’ Magic spells, pizza, or microwaved Hungry Man looking lasagna, was salad. A very pathetic looking salad.

The most in-depth game play I really remember doing was trying to work a Sim up the celebrity star ranks in Superstar. When I revisited this expansion 20 years later, I seriously questioned how much patience I had for certain aspects of this game when I was younger. In the most recent go I had at a celebrity Sim, I managed to get him as far as 3.5 stars before I went “fuck it” and started grinding for the materials needed to achieve the Instant 5 star celebrity Makin’ Magic spell. Within the next day, my Sim was decked out in a cowboy-inspired fit with gaudy tassels on his coat and the coveted star floating above his head.

I’m nostalgic for this game. And when I can actually get the original Sims to work, I embrace how janky some elements are and engage with gameplay as if it’s still the early aughts.

I’m an older Sims fan. I only play Sims, Sims 2, and Sims 3. There’s been a few Sims 4 packs that seriously tempted me, especially the Paranormal one. So...I have this ridiculous itch to see how a Reigen Arataka Sim would handle a Bonehilda that’s more interested in finding a booty call than housework. But I’m not so tempted that I’ll overlook EA’s list of scummy, money-grubbing moves: making a DLC that requires DLC, divvying up gameplay into smaller and smaller game packs than any previous iterations, releasing content day 1 riddled with bugs to the point its unplayable and refusing to fix anything. 

After seeing Reckowski make a retrospective and news about Project Rene, I’ve been debating whether or not I want to make my own retrospective video on The Sims. It’s either a Sims retrospective that’ll resurrect my YouTube shenanigans or a “Is Reigen Arataka sexy?” video and the latter has been harder for me to write anything other than an unfinished essay for thus far, hahah. And honestly, I think retrospectives from older Simmers are a good idea period. Younger players deserve the depth and variety of gameplay that older Sims games hinted at having. It’s more than possible now. I have good reason for being cautiously optimistic about Life by You and the development around Paralives.

Granted, I’m also hoping Sims 5 crashes in a fiery, spectacular mess similar to what Sim City did in 2013. So, I’m not sure if I’m the best person to make that kind of starry-eyed, rose-tinted glasses video when I also just want to carve up EA’s micro-transaction nonsense like a crazy person carving up a turkey with a chainsaw.

[titan-god-helios]

part two y’all <33

spending like a bajillion hours in the bathroom getting ready and showering and brushing my teeth and goofing off in the mirror. honestly thought i’d feel way more feminine and dysphoric if i did this but taking care of myself and having my own space to just exist for a while without having to mask or pretend to be cishet

staying up late at night and talking to my friend or being on pinterest or tumblr

silent screaming !! for no reason or for every reason, it just feels good and cathartic and is a boy activity for me personally

being my gay little self and getting sososo hyped about a cute boy or girl or person (when i see a cute boy i feel most masc tho bc i’m like “omg mlm im a real boy hes so cute”)

just decorating my room however the fuck i want and making my space littered with traces of me and what i like and what i am

plastering references to things i love literally wherever the fuck i can. its just really fun and finding places to sneak stuff you like everywhere just makes me feel like a silly happy dude

working on myself. i ask for help whenever i need it, and i’ve come a long way from before, but when it comes to stuff that doesn’t make me feel as if i would be better off sharing with someone, i find it much easier, much more effective and much less stressful to work things through on my own and sort my thoughts out and research. being autistic and possibly having alexithymia as well, i’ve always struggled with communication and whilst venting helps once in a blue moon, most times it just makes me feel stupid because I can’t communicate what i feel properly because even i don’t know when it comes down to it. so being able to solve it or figure it out in my own time on my own makes me feel much more capable and secure in myself, and i feel more manly ! asking for help when i need it also makes me feel manly coincidentally sooo ye <333

being hyperfeminine just because i can and on my own terms. like a lot of masc trans boys//people, my whole childhood and even life now is spent being told “you’re too masculine, are you a boy ?” “that’s not ladylike at all” and stuff like that. personally, i love feminine stuff !! i love the colour pink and frills and sparkles and dresses. but i simply find myself unable to enjoy it because im closeted and because of my dysphoria. on very low dysphoria days though, sometimes i love to dress up all pretty and feminine simply because i’m a boy and i’m only going to be feminine if i want to and being feminine does not invalidate my gender in any way

journalling and otherwise just being my introspective self

reading a lot !! i feel like the boy chronically living in the university library with a thousand books surrounding him that he already read and i love it

playing rpgs like genshin and also old timey feeling pixel games like celeste and old mario bros games and undertale and pac man, as well as games like hollow knight and cult of the lamb

arcades !!

taking pictures of anything and everything i find cool when out on a walk or at a shop or out with friends or even just doing mundane shit outside like food shopping

making picrew characters of myself now and what i hope to look like when i transition

reading comics and webtoons

playing my guitar and writing my songs and just messing around with no pressure on my instrument

cooking and baking !! it’s already my favourite thing ever to do i love it sososososoo fucking much and i always have and after i came out to myself it had the added joy of making me feel like those boys in uni who cook for the homies and cooks for himself and tries out new recipies when he’s not studying - it’s just me and it makes me feel myself and therefore it is masculine to me and that makes me feel good <3

calling people darling, sweetie, honey

treating myself like the prince i am !! like fuck yeah gimme the fluffy blanket i’m a prince i deserve it. just romanticising myself as all boys should be able to do <33

fun socks !! i feel so masculine if i have on a pair of fun socks and i have no idea why i just do

dogsdogsdogsdogsdogsdogs all sizes shapes breeds just dogs in general

cats too

and snakes

ykw all animals apart from insects but they aren’t animals anyway so

YEAHHH I’M THE ANIMAL KINGGG THE KING OF THE JUNGLEEEEEE

trying to look at my period under the light of “i’m bleeding and in pain and i’m still truckin, a lot of cis guys can’t even do that so i’m manly as fuck !! and one day this will stop and i’ll feel right and not dysphoric about the arrival of aunt flo, but for now i’m still manly even with my period !! even more so !! you’re a dude !!!”

using backpacks and only backpacks

flexing my hands and just looking at the way they work and the muscles contract (my hands aren’t stereotypically masc in the slightest but it just makes me feel like a man when i study things very closely and it makes me happy in a quiet way so <3)

working on raising my spice tolerance as much as i can

making promises to myself and trying to keep them, for example since i was little i vowed never in my life to ever drink coffee consistently, only once here and there when out with my coffee drinking friends or when i simply felt like it, but never as a routinely thing and so far i’ve kept that promise !

egg fried rice

lobster

fish

the sea !! i’ve always loved the sea it’s my fuckin element dude i grew up with the sea and it makes me feel sososo manly i feel like percy jackson after i’m in the sea. i dive into the sea and swim sososo far away from shore and i feel so calm and just manly

learning new things !

dark chocolate. just yes

watching voice transformation videos !! i love watching those update compilations where it’s like “hi, i’m (insert name) and this is my voice pre-t <3” to “hi, i’m (insert name) and this is my voice six months on t <3” AND ITS SO COOL because pre-t they sound like me and it gives me hope it gives me so much hope that one day i’ll wake up and i won’t have to suddenly stop myself because i’ve realised that i got too happy and my voice raised ten thousand octaves

nimona. its the best. go fucking watch nimona right now you twink.

walking around barefoot on warm stone or hot sand and not being fazed and enjoying the sensation

acting like a celebrity in an interview in my bathroom and having my own talk show

kirishima eijiro from my hero academia. he is trans and so manly so fucking manly and so happy but human and he is so just MM i love him prove me fucking wrong (you can’t there’s no way in hell that mf ain’t trans)

playing rounders. there’s just something about holding a bat and having perfect poise and swinging and hitting the ball perfectly so perfectly it soars over a literal field and seeing all the fielders have to fucking sprint to even have a chance of getting you out and being able to score a rounder so flawlessly. and also the times when everything goes wrong and the bat barely touches the ball and someone catches it and you’re out but you still goddamn tried. and being the head fielder, yelling out directions and having them be trusted without question and having the team come together perfectly because you listen to them and they listen to you and fucking smashing the other team to bits because you worked together that well. it’s just beautiful alr

oranges and the colour orange

claiming both sides of my ethnicity !! being proud of where i come from and being both greek and bengali !!

flowers <333

tea too !!

feeling my adam’s apple (even tho it’s small ofc bc afab)

pt1 of oddly specific things that give me gender affirmation/euphoria (that may not be that odd but i didn’t expect them so shut up <3 /lh):

wallets !!!! a good stereotypically masculine wallet that’s small and leather and still has lots and lots of usability and looks like something a dad would use makes me feel so masculine !! love it

any type of trouser or bottoms with more than two pockets

windbreaker jackets - they make me go “FUCK YEEAAHH im such a boy a man a male tm yessir” and idk why they just do tho, even the fem ones to an extent

plantssss i love plants and they make me feel like a little gardner boy just yessss

energy drinks for some reason ???? they make the internal man dialogue of “IM A MANNN” go haywire so much

hairbands on my wrist and an excess of those wooden beaded bracelets or even stone beaded jewellery

cross earrings but just bc they look cool (i’m an atheist so yuh, i still love people who have religion too, y’all are awesome <3)

doing the thing with your hair where you take hair from one side and flip it on the other with one hand and its kind of like running your hand through your hair but with long hair…. esp of my other hand is on my hip and i scrunch my face ?!?!?!??!? so boyish i feel so good

dancing like an absolute idiot. i dont know why but every time i just do a little jig for myself by myself my gender is just like “yessssss you’re a boy frfr slay king”

watches !! big chunky analogue watches

following on from the last point, clocks too

mushroomsssss they make the more nonbinary side of me jump for joy cause like “yes ofc im a fucking forest goblin dude i love mushrooms im just a goblin guy leave me alone and let me love the shrooms”

sketching in public. it just doessss

camoflague clothing !! i mean this was probably obvious but when i came out to myself and i wore camo cargo pants (with loads of pockets mind you) i just freaked out in joy i felt so manly that day it was glorious

singing !! singing my favourite songs as low as i can go with it still sounding good

just being as stubborn as possible but in a non problematic (for the most part) way. like if you give me the option to make things easier and more convenient or not i’ll choose the harder option. idk it just makes me feel manly (is this toxic masculinity ?? i dont know but i try to remind myself that this only applies to non mental stuff so i don’t end up self-harming againnnn)

being unnecessarily overdressed

not brushing my hair till its perfectly untangled and just letting it be a bit wild - this came with me figuring out that my hair type is waywayway wavier/curlier than i thought my whole life and learning to take care of it the best i can whilst i have like zero products for waves/curls on hand and as a bonus i felt more masc !!

looking at the stretch marks underneath my boobs in the mirror. i have a large-ish chest i think (DD cup), plus i’m a lil chubby, so i have loads of stretch marks around my chest, and the ones underneath look like top surgery scars, so if i’m having a particularly rough day with my chest dysphoria i’ll look at em and feel a bit better

using my stim toys and accommodations with friends and by myself for my autism and adhd - being capable of taking care of myself finally makes me feel really confident and as a result quite masc as well

stimming by flipping my beaded bracelets between my fingers - this is specific to greek and possibly other cultures similar to greece but it’s typical for a lot of greek men to flip long-ish beaded loops (?? they’re not jewellery and specifically made for this but idk what they’re called so) between their fingers in a similar fashion, and it’s a thing that my dad does a lot when bored. whether neurodivergent or neurotypical it’s a very common thing for men and so doing it makes me not only feel good stimming but also feel manly as fuck ! it feels even better now that my mum saw me doing it once and said “what are you a man ??” and being closeted i had to say “idc im just flipping a bracelet why does it have to be gendered” BUT INSIDE I WAS SO HAPPY

playing card games - when i was younger and even now my dad and grandpa would let me sit in on their card games late at night when we visited them in greece and now when i play card games i always feel so calm and comforted and quietly masculine

drinkingggg now hear me out yes im a minor but i’m also half greek so as a result whenever my parents drink im allowed a bit too (under supervision ofc). anyway that out the way, i have a pretty fucking high alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that it comes from my dad (being asian, my mum’s tolerance is dogshit) plus the stereotypical “men can drink more” stuff i feel SO MANLYYYY when i can quite literally drink more than my dad and feel okay whilst he’s starting to be tipsy (just to clarify though, the stereotype is bullshit and should NOT be perpetuated as much as it is, at least with intent. you guys with low alcohol tolerances are just as manly !! maybe you’re even more manly than those with high tolerance !! and women with high tolerances, you’re still very fem and very cool and valid as a woman and those who aren’t binary or aligning you are valid as your gender or as no gender no matter what tolerance you have <33)

caring about myself more. and i don’t mean in a “i’m gonna have a nice fucking bath and be happy about it” way i mean in a “i’m going to feed myself well, drink lots of water, get good exercise and be respectful to myself at the very least” way. and also in the bath way. baths are nice

collecting shit !! idk dude but having a collection of dumb shit just makes me feel so masc and good cause i swear to the stars nearly every dude i’ve met and stepped into the house of has a collection of SOMETHING whether it’s games, books, rocks, crystals, cookbooks and recipies or art supplies or whatever makes them happy. like legit fucking anything and i like collecting stuff too so its a bonus !!

just being nice. just being a nice dude makes me feel so manly

being silly and myself and doing dumb shit and being unapologetic about it (im still working on being able to do this since i struggle a lot but when i can it feels so good !!)

being stupidly loyal to something equally stupid /pos. like yes i have had this stuffed animal since the dawn of time no i will never get rid of her. she’s a genderfuck lesbian rainbow tiger from buildabear workshop who goes by the name of Roxy i will never get rid of her >:(. and so what my ring is so rusty it makes my skin green every three days ?? i clean it and take it off when it gets out of control back off bitch its mine. why are you so concerned about my shoes ????? fuck you i like them how they are (falling apart and dishevelled, the sole is halfway off already and it hasn’t been even remotely okay since three years ago) and they still fit and work so i’ll wear them until i literally cannot anymore. its so fun and it’s such a “just some guy” activity AND it makes my autism goblin feel safe and good too so its great would reccommend

just talking about stuff i like and that makes me feel good but not to anybody in particular. maybe in my notes, maybe on tumblr (like right now !! i’m doing this one right now !!) maybe on my personal dm to myself. it just makes me feel like a boy i love it PLUS i dont actually have to stress about humans on the other end of it so i feel way more confident and comfortable and as a result even MORE manly !!

ice cream on cones. i will not elaborate

travelling and exploring !! like legit anywhere. as long as i’m moving from one place to another and exploring the world i feel so happy and right and also masculine it’s great i love travelling so much. on holidays i enjoy the act of travelling even more than the holiday itself tbh

(to clarify i identify as male but a bit fucked in the gender - if you want a label i still identify as nonbinary but male aligningg <3)

[wehavespikes]

I've been really into graphic design lately and I want to start! do you have any tips?

Hey, thanks for asking, I guess I do have some tips

• For absolute beginners I'd recommend first looking into graphic programs and finding the best fit for what you want to create - the adobe cloud is great but to start out there are many free alternatives. If you're into drawing as well I'd recommend checking out Procreate.

• Study the basics - e.g. look at the difference between vectors and pixel graphics, file formats (jpg vs png vs tiff etc.), look up different methods to cut out images as it's something you'll probably need at some point, and maybe also have a look at recent design or color trends (that's always fun, too). Also advisable as a beginner is to study general do's and don'ts (for example working with text, website design or layouting have some clear rules for what works and what doesn't - most people already have a sense of aesthetic but it's always a good idea to prevent creating some graphic design is my passion meme stuff, see r/crappydesign or the likes).

• If you want to create with the intention of publishing your works effectively on certain platforms (like Instagram) it's always clever to look up which formats work best (1080x1080 is standard square for Instagram for example). If you want to create wallpapers look up common sizes and set up your canvas accordingly.

• Find inspiration and ideas - of course you need at least a rough idea about what you want to create. I for example love all things 80s, so for inspiration I look up 80s media, technology, fashion etc. to find things I could incorporate in my designs (e.g. patterns, color schemes, shapes, fonts etc.). An amazing platform for this is Pinterest of course, but I also frequently use unsplash.com (free to use gorgeous photography that you can use right away for your designs), youtube (for tutorials mainly) and lots of tumblr blogs.

•  If you want to use photos make sure you know about copyright and fair use - platforms like Pinterest mostly feature copyrighted images, so never just use an image without considering this. Always ask first and give credit.

•  Watch lots of tutorials - in the beginning I had no idea about the capabilities of graphic programs and was often wondering how artists were able to create certain things. So of course you need to learn somehow and watching tutorials on youtube is a great way to do so. It’s also fun to just look through random design tutorials until the algorythm shows you something you really like and want to recreate or use for your own works. Like this I also learned lots of basics (advanced working with layers, clipping masks, transparency, layer styles, filters and all kinds of photoshop tools).

• Familiarize yourself with the graphic program of your choice. Check out which tools are available and try to use them. Experiment with shapes, brushes, text, gradients, etc. Set up your workplace according to your needs and look through all options, settings and tabs to see what your possibilities are. Play around with a photo and try to edit the hell out of it. Like this you’ll probably already find some tools or settings that inspire you and ways you might want to incorporate them into your designs.

• Recreate and adopt. Recreating artworks that inspire you or designing along tutorials is the best way to learn in my opinion, as it is with drawing as well. As you learn new techniques you can begin to incorporate more and more of them into your own artworks, your drafting process will change as you’re able to consider more ways to reach your design goal, and you will also gain lots of new inspiration as well. When I discovered the possibilities of layer mixing I began designing with them in mind and just playing around yielded some amazing results; I made note of my favourite styles and now am frequently using them in my designs.

• Draft and save inspiration. I always carry my sketchbook around and doodle things when I have a few minutes of time or when inspiration hits me. You often see things in the real world that strike you as interesting, so make sure you don’t forget about them later when you want to design. This can be posters, flyers or other design works but also nature, people, clothes, etc. Taking written notes also works great for me. For collecting inspiration online I mostly use Pinterest (create artboards for specific aesthetics and pin all images that fit and inspire you in some way so you can look them up later as reference), but I also have lots of bookmarks neatly organized to save images that aren’t on pinterest. I never just copy and save on my computer because I might not know who to credit later.

• Refine your own aesthetic, polish your artworks and take challenges. Try to design outside of your comfort zone (I’m really not a fan of working with Adobe Illustrator for example but need it a lot for my job so I decided to use it more at home for my own art and am now quite fond of some of the tools) and challenge yourself - e.g. you can try to design within a certain decade’s aesthetic, participate in online design challenges, ask for requests from friends or followers, etc. Keep up with design trends (especially if you’re planning to sell your artworks in some way at some point).

• Less is more. Edit edit edit. Something I still struggle with given that the 80s aesthetic I love always screams more is more. Train your abstraction ability (making pixel art or super minimalist things is a great way to practice). Learn what an artwork / layout / website etc. really needs and what can be scrapped. Don't be afraid of blank spaces. Never bedazzle just for the sake of filling space.

That’s all I can think of right now, hope this helps ♡ if you have questions about specific things you can always hit me up.

[scarawayfromfallingapart]

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

[pinkjeanist]

“pigstep” || tomura shigaraki

     ➾     “You and Tomura explore the new Nether update together. After a tragic accident with lava and a hoglin, you’re there to comfort him.” [842 words]

a/n: sorry the banner looks weird. i had to save one of the banners from tumblr after realizing i no longer had the og format saved, so it was already blurry to begin with, and then i put non blurry wording in, so it’s all just blegh. i should just change all the banners tbh. i hope the fic is good tho. i’ll write shigaraki taming every cat in the game next! and thank you all so much for supporting this series. it means a lot to me that yall enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy writing it!!!! [navigation] [minecraft with shigaraki masterlist]

edit: i made new banners LMAO

“Make sure you always have your helmet on. I’ve got a spare if it breaks.” Tomura didn’t answer, opting instead to continue shooting the small, splitting magma cubes near the lava lakes below. You set up the respawn anchor and charged it with glowstone. “Do you have the scaffolding?” 

“Yes,” He mumbled. You smiled and slid closer on the bed until your legs brushed together. He leaned into you in turn. “You barter with those piglin shits. I’ll deal with the ghasts.” 

“Alright. Just be careful of hoglins, okay? They’ll be in the crimson forests. Like that one over there,” You said, pixelated arm swinging towards the red biome not too far from the platform on which you’d spawned. “They hit really hard.” 

“How do you know everything about this update, already?”

“I watched a few videos. I like to be prepared.” You also liked to make sure Tomura had fun while playing the game, which meant making it as safe as possible by informing him of new dangers. But you wouldn’t tell him that. A part of you thought he probably already knew about your plan, anyway. 

“I’ll go barter with the piglins. Do you mind going over to that warped forest and getting us some warped fungus? We’ll need it to ride the striders later.” 

He grunted and set off. The New Nether obviously wasn’t updated to make things easier for the players, that much was certain. Even as you descended the scaffolding into the nether wastes, where there were only piglins and their zombie counterparts around, you still didn’t feel the least bit comfortable. Every time you looked at a piglin, you waited for it to lash out at you, even while sporting your golden helmet. You felt a bit safer chucking some gold at them whenever they got too close for comfort, which was beneficial in that they gave you some decent stuff in return. 

You leaned your head on his shoulder and focused on your half of the screen, hardly paying mind as hoglin sounds came out of the speakers by the TV. You also didn’t pay much mind to the lava sounds, nor the sound of hits being landed on Tomura’s player- until the hitting sounds were constant, and his screen became fiery orange. 

He tensed up under your head as the “You Died” message popped up onscreen. You reached down to hold his wrist, slight panic setting in. His controller crumbled to dust in his hands. 

“Tomu, honey…” You slid onto your side to face him. That was his first death ever in Minecraft- and it perhaps was the worst way to die, since all of his stuff was probably burnt in the lava. You swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. “...you didn’t have much on you that isn’t easily replaceable. You had only iron tools and armor, right?”

He swallowed. You could tell he was trying his best, deep breaths expelling from his nose as he nodded. Your hand moved down to rest atop his own. 

“We’ve got a lot of iron back at home,” You spoke softly, sliding closer. “And we’ve got a whole other stack of arrows to replace the ones you lost. We’ve got a lot of steak from cow farming, too. You’re gonna be okay.”

He swallowed again. “My controller.” 

“It’s okay. I’ll go and get you a new one in the morning. You can use mine, if you want?” You picked up your controller and presented it to him, but he could only give a deep sigh. “Or we can just stop playing for now and cuddle?”

“...Yes.” 

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He hadn’t let you kiss his lips many times since your first kiss together (he didn’t have to tell you he was self-conscious about them; you already knew) so you hoped a cheek kiss would help calm him down. You wouldn’t tell him how proud of him you were at that moment for staying so calm, at least externally. It was a big difference from the way he’d acted when you’d met him. 

You closed the game and shut off the TV, not bothering to take the game out of the console as you set the controller aside and slid under the covers. It took some coaxing to get Tomura to join you, but when he did, your head was on his chest in an instant. His arms slid around your waist, and your hand reached up again to run through his hair. He was still tense beneath you, but you knew he was doing all he could. 

The room stayed silent that night, and he eventually loosened up beneath you as he slowly fell asleep. You made a mental note to get breakfast as well as a new controller in the morning, knowing he probably wouldn’t be completely fine by then. So you’d get him his controller, maybe a muffin, and give him some more cuddles after. He could only stay angry for so long, you mused to yourself. 

-

taglist: @keigos-dove​ @knifeewifee​ @hanniejji​ @wesparklebitch​ @bvnnyclouds​ @katsukis-sad-angel​ @ushissugarcube​

minecraft w/ shigaraki taglist: @lilli-chae​ @wetspaghettintea​ @t0ranu​ @fangirl1053​ @nereida19​ @kittysocks20​ @mortallydelicatechaos​

- dm or inbox to be added/removed from a taglist.

[curly-bangtan]

Drabble game: Member: Jin 6) baby, I’m not going to last if you keep doing that 21) can’t you stop gaming for 1 second and give me attention?

#6: “baby, I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

#21: “can’t you stop gaming for one second and give me attention?”

#20: “let me guess, you’re horny again.”

Warnings: oral (M), slight exhibitionism, giving seokjinnie the best suck while he’s gaming and on a call with the boys

A/N: I feel so bad because I really haven’t had much time to write lately because of uni so I haven’t prepared anything special for Jin’s birthday except this. :c But anyway, enjoy~!

.

“Ahh- Aahhh- AAAAHHHHHHH!”

You hear the distinct yells coming from a certain room as you enter the house, a noise so boisterous that it could only belong to none other than your boyfriend.

Which one is it this time, Maple Story or Kart Rider?

Shaking your head in a smitten grin, you walk to the source of the shouts.

To his credit, he at least acknowledges you, “Oh, hey sweetie. Back so early?” To his discredit, he doesn’t even look up from his game, eyes glued to the glaring computer screen, which you don’t doubt have been fixed in place for the entire time you were gone. Kart Rider it is this time.

Tonight was a girls’ night, a few drinks at a nice cocktail bar with your closest female friends (a few meaning maximum three because cocktails are bloody expensive), chin-wagging and updating on each other’s love/sex lives. You always enjoy this type of gatherings.

“Early? Seokjin, it’s one.”

Only a single earphone in, he looks up, but even so, scarcely lest his eyes stray for a second too long from the pixelated road and he crashes again. He’s ranked number 6 right now. Out of seven. Why is he even trying anymore, he’s not going to win. Still, your eyes meet for a fleeting moment, enough for you to feel connected to him again, to trick yourself into thinking that he remotely missed you. Because he definitely didn’t. He didn’t even notice the time, where would his attention find the capacity to remember you while he’s racing his friends on this server?

“Oh shit, now way, it’s one already?” There is a monotone in his voice where disbelief should be. Basically, when Seokjin is gaming, he has two possible moods: over dramatic Ancient Roman gladiator with astounding battle cries, or completely stoic, focused, and most likely won’t realise if you’ve cracked an egg on his head. Both are equally as infuriating.

“Yes, it’s already one.” You sigh, plopping your bag on the floor to the side and striping your winter layers.

It’s shocking, sometimes, to think that your boyfriend is close to reaching his thirties. People compliment him endlessly on his lack of ageing - how doesn’t he have a single wrinkle? he looks the same as he did five years ago, if not better! - but little do they know, not only has he physically not aged, but also has mentally not grown up since the age of sixteen. Sixteen is him on a good day and you being generous.

You wonder if he’s going to stop gaming after this round now that you are back.

You wait.

He ends up coming fourth, which isn’t too shabby considering he had fallen off the course and wound up at the back. Watching as he stretches his board back, you think he’s going to switch his computer off, call it a day and finally come join you on the bed. But then he says into the microphone:

“Guys wait for me, let me change my character.”

You shut your eyes and sigh. Every time.

So you try to mind your own business as you wait for him to finally finish - you don’t mind going to sleep without him, you’re that far into your relationship that you don’t even need to say good night anymore. Practically a married couple at this point.

But then your mind wanders to the conversation you and your girls were having earlier during the night.

On the topic of sex, June brought up how her and her boyfriend has started to switch things up in the bedroom since, as much as she loves him, the same dick gets boring after a year. There was one time where they did policeman roleplay and he dropped the key under the bed and took ages to fish it out, but it was fine because the sex had been a solid 10/10, so apparently it was worth the sore arms. Kerry was surprised that June hadn’t tried to spice it up sooner; she on the other hand has been into moderate BDSM since highschool. Nothing hurts better than the sharp pain of being whipped on the butt by a crop cane, apparently. Just the other day, Namjoon suggested to Eunae that they should have a threesome with another man, the name of whom would not be disclosed, but you considerably suspect that he’s someone you know. Taehyung? Jimin? They seem like the type to be into this shit. But anyway, apparently, it turned Namjoon on a fucking lot to see Eunae get pounded by someone else while sucking his cock. She couldn’t complain at all, except for not being able to walk the next day.

You have such wholesome friends.

When it got to you, you kind of just- sat there poking your fingers. It not that your sex life with Seokjin is vanilla, but that’s exactly what you’re saying. Neither of you are particularly adventurous in nature, especially when it comes to sex. You would say that he has a higher sex drive than you, but only marginally. There are days where you would wake up and before your eyes are fully open, he’d already be inches deep in you. Sometimes, you go a long five days without sex out of tiredness and neither of you have a problem with it. But nevertheless, the sex is, as June described, the same mediocre missionary hammering until he blows his load either too soon or takes too long, with the occasional oral if you’re not feeling lazy.

Yeah, not mind blowing.

It’s not like you minded, but hearing your friends talk about their wild sex life makes you feel like you’re missing out. You and Seokjin are missing some fun, some excitement.

With that in mind, you crawl out of bed and approach your oblivious boyfriend. His shoulders jolt in surprise when he feels your arms snake around his neck from behind. Sparing you a second of his attention, he tilts his head up to meet your gaze, eyes wide in curiosity. You hang over him, cheek pressed on the crown of his head as you watch his game without particular interest.

Then you begin to bury your nose in his thick black hair, trailing tiny pecks all the way down to his face. Your hands start to roam as well, groping his toned chest not at all subtly. Seokjin is naturally well built with his hefty big bones - actual bones as well as, you know, that bone.

His fingers are moving mechanically on the keyboard in astounding reflexes. Hmm, you want those fingers inside… You place a particularly wet kiss on his cheek to try to coax his focus into your possession.

“What’s up, baby?” You count the flicker of his eyes as a small victory, even if you haven’t successfully infringed on his unwavering glare at the screen. Then he speaks into the microphone of his earphones, “Hoseok-ah, I’m catching up, watch out~!”

Ignoring his question as well as his sudden jerking motions to avoid his kart from veering too far, you proceed to kiss down his neck, pressing your warm lips ever so lightly on his skin to create that sensitive sparse contact that will surely make his little hairs rise. Your hands have now travel under his outstretched arms, albeit in an awkward angle due to your position, and are playing with the hem of his shirt. He’s wearing white today, and if there’s one thing you love more than your boyfriend, it’s your boyfriend in white.

When your small fingers reach the band of his joggers, you sense not only his muscles beneath your touch but his entire posture tense. Your wandering mouth feels him gulp.

“Let me guess, you’re horny again?” It’s unusual to hear him speak in such a low voice, a genuine hushed whisper rather than one for dramatic effect. The way he tilted away from the earphone mic does not go unnoticed, trying to to let the boys hear him. How interesting… Why not exploit that?

“Hmm…” You hum, lips still painting his collar now with gentle sucks. Your fingers are feathering his torso, each time daring to dip a bit further under his pants, but never too much. “Can’t you just stop gaming for a second and give me some attention, Seokjinnie?”

He tenses once more.

This is kind of fun. You almost snicker diabolically.

Muffled voices sound from the other end of the call, barely audible from the earphone that has been left dangling by the wire, not plugged into his ear. And you know that if it weren’t for them, Seokjin would be reprimanding you loudly right now.

“After this game, okay sweetie?” The tendons of his fingers strain over his knuckles. Click click click click click. Aggressive keyboard pushing.

“But… I can’t wait…” You put on your babiest voice with a whiny undertone, drawing out each syllable for emphasis. As you use your nails to tickle the skin over his pelvis, one of his knees jerk up and hit the desk.

Cute reflexes, you mirth.

“Shit-” He mutters under his breath. “Please, please, please. You’re distracting me.”

That’s the point.

This time, you reach even further, one hand brushing his thigh, the other returning to his fuzzy navel. “Seokjin…” He tries his best to hold in a sharp inhale at your seductive touch. “Right now, please…”

“Last game, I promise.” He whispers away from the microphone.

“You have two more rounds, you just started a new game, I can’t wait that long.” You nip at the lobe of his free ear.

“Boys, I’m going to bed after this game.” He announces to his friends, shooting you a brief pointed look, and whispers pleadingly, “please.”

Do you feel slightly bad for putting him in such a tortured position? Yes. But do you have every intention of carrying on? Also yes.

“How about this, baby,” you press your mouth against his ear, “you stay quiet while I give you the best blowjob of your life right now, then I’ll be satisfied and leave you be. Or, I go right back to bed right now and probably ignore you for the rest of the week until you do some grovelling for choosing a video game over your girlfriend.”

Seokjin shudders at your warm breath perforating into him and heaves, jaw hanging slightly open as he throws you one long glance. You see the clockwork in his mind turning as he contemplates your offer, clearly torn. Promiscuity is not his thing, so naturally, getting sucked off by his girl while on a gaming call with his friends presents a difficult dilemma.

“Shit, Y/N-ah…” He laments softly, causing a smirk to bloom across your face. He’s going to cave, you know it. Concentration at the game now dispersed, Seokjin wets his lips in hesitation. “Fine.”

So he caves.

Smug, you drop onto your knees and scuttles around his chair until you’re in the shadows of the desk. He rolls his seat back to allow you emerge between his legs. It’s dark down here, yet you know his body inside out. Lifting his rear off, he allows you to tug his joggers down, your hands not missing the chance to skim past the outskirts of his hips. You see him glance down, teeth gritted.

Kissing up the insides of his thighs, you let your tongue dance lucidly, teasing him until his quads can’t tense any further. There’s already a semi-bulge in his boxers, this lewd boy, and when you palm him over the grey cotton material, his lower half buckles.

Oh this is going to be fun.

When you feel more heat rush down to his groin, and his member grows more erect, you stripe the boxers off too. Your boyfriend is still, quiet, and you have to check that he’s still conscious. He is. Very conscious. Of your little shadow casted face in front of his fat aching cock under the desk.

He gulps again. He’s fucked.

Just as he looks back up at the screen so his vehicle doesn’t fall behind, he feels your tingly breath hovering over his shaft, up and down, as if assessing where to devour first. Unluckily for him, it’s his balls. Sucking on the soft delicate skin, one of your hands comes under to cup him. Seokjin lets out a low whimper that sounds vaguely like mmhhah-.

“Jin-hyung, where did you go? Falling behind already?” Jungkook taunts over the call, the other guys snickering after him.

Seokjin can’t even respond. It’s taking all of him to even keep half his attention on the race, how is he supposed to formulate a functional sentence?

You look up at him, grinning devilishly as you fondle his balls in your hand with your tactful tongue. Although his fingers are still clicking away at the keyboard, he is now looking down at you every few seconds. Progress. After a particularly cruel suck that has him curling his toes, you move to his cock.

It is throbbing violently. It tends to do that - Seokjin is a throbber; if you get him aroused but deprive him of the friction, he pulses up in need. You find something about that so cute.

And so, slowly and lubriciously, you drag your tongue up his tongue in a zigzag, curving around his circumference at every turn. “Aish…” He cries, and you know it’s not because of the game. He looks down, for a long couple of seconds this time. His lips are parted, hand pushing the hair out of his face to reveal that glorious forehead that’s powerful enough to topple kingdoms.

Then you swirl around his head, the rough pad of your tongue pressed hard against him, tasting his salty precum.

“Fuck.” He exhales. He knows you know what you’re doing to him and he’s completely under your influence, helpless. You wonder if his friends can hear his soft curses and moans. A part of you wants them to. Exhibitionism? Who would have thought.

You focus on his slit, licking mercilessly at his oozing opening, lapping up the taste of his arousal. His thigh is now trembling. Yet you don’t stop assailing his tip, slowly taking it in your mouth while your tongue performs its magic. Swirling, licking, flicking, sucking.

Abruptly, Seokjin grabs the mic of his earphones, concealing it in his palm to mask his voice when he says, “baby, I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

You just look up at him, wide feign-innocent eyes overflowing in amusement. His own eyes lock on yours, head tilting to the side in exasperation at your antics. His incapacity against your relentless technique sends your cunt surging.

Finally, you take his cock in your mouth, swallowing him inch by inch agonisingly slowly until he pokes the back of your throat. He has to bite down on his lip to prevent those whimpers from escaping. When you slurp up, your tongue continues to draw patterns across his length, feeling his pulsing veins beneath you. Playing with his bollocks at the same time, you release his cock from your mouth with a wet pop.

At this point, you can tell he’s given up on the game, especially when his left hand grips onto your hair, his hips buckling again to push himself into your mouth. The keyboard sounds are decelerating, his eyes fixed on you more than the monitor, only occasional glances up at the game so his kart isn’t completely halted.

You gag as you bob up and down his cock, salivating endlessly to create a slippery friction for the walls of your mouth to mould over him. He fits in you so well. Each time, you try to take in more and more of his length until his whole member is engorged in your mouth. His taste grows increasingly salty, tip crying tears of precum.

Yup, he’s definitely not going to last.

Fingers holding onto your locks tightly, as if holding on for dear life, his chest rises and falls shakily, breath getting heavier. “Shut up, Jimin.” He says into his mic. You wonder what the boy had said.

As your pace increases and strokes of your tongue intensifies, his thighs squeeze around you. He’s desperately falling apart. Maintaining eye contact, his head collapses back, his neck exposed. He’s so close, you can tell.

So you go as fast as you can despite the ache in your jaw, riding him with your mouth, face stretching to encompass his girth. Tears spring to your eyes yet you ignore them. He’s pushing your head up and down now, guiding your speed to pursue his orgasm.

Then-

“O- fuck!” He groans out loud, not even bothering to lower his volume anymore. A moment later, you feel the violent twitch of his shaft followed by a spurt of warm liquid into your mouth. You slow your imbibing, considering his utmost sensitivity right now, and tenderly suck around his ejaculating tip. His whole body convulses, eyes rolling back. He is at utter surrender, both hands cradling your face, legs sprawled out.

“Nothing,” his voice is unstable as he exhales into the mic, “I just- um- spilt water all over my desk.”

‘Spilt water’ indeed.

You swallow his load in your mouth after pulling him out, hand lazily milking out his every last drop. Seokjin is panting as he gazes down at you, caressing your cheek gratefully, fiddling with your red swollen lips.

“I’m leaving, boys, good night.” He mindlessly ends the call with a few clicks and shuts his computer, his whole attention now devoted to you. “I can’t fucking believe you did that.”

Smiling proudly, you answer, “That was fun, wasn’t it.”

“I’m sure it was really fucking fun for you.” Seokjin hauls you up gently from the ground, and jeez, your knees are sore.

Without a second to waste, he pulls you in by the neck to meet his lips, your tongue still bitter from his cum. He’s not normally particularly dominant, yet this time, there is a roughness to his kiss, and an eagerness in the way his arm traps your waist. Walking back step by step, you tumble onto the bed, your core heated from the pool of desire you’ve collected for him. And when he flips and pins you under him, you know you’re fucked for the rest of the night.

“You’re going to regret doing that.”

.

04/12/19

© Copyright 2019

[collecting-stories]

Edible - Connor Murphy

A/N: Mentions of weed use and psychiatric hospitals. 

///

If you listed out all the weird places that you could possibly meet a cute guy, the psychiatric hospital’s inpatient ‘boys’ ward would not be one of them. And yet, the kid by the window who was only half pretending to listen to the woman seated across from him was way cuter than you expected anyone in this particular hell-hole to be. He was tall, even sitting down, caved in on himself in some effort to disappear, you could tell he was tall. And thin. Like a vogue model or something. His hair was tied back in a bun and he had on a black hoodie that he kept picking at the sleeves of. He looked bored but maybe it was just medication, and the woman across from him looked seconds away from bursting into tears. You felt like you’d walked into your own ‘It’s Kind of a Funny Story’ except you weren’t a patience. You were just visiting one.  

Louder than he needed to be and talking a mile a minute about a video game you didn’t understand, your brother was seated on the computer chair next to you. He was in the middle of free time when you came to visit and unwilling to lose his time in front of the computer.  “And then you can run your guy up on the curb like this,” he continued, driving a pixelated jeep through an obstacle course of building.  

“I like the car.” You pointed out. Hospital visits made you antsy but you’d been religious in your scheduled appearances at the hospital. It was coming on October now and you had been here every weekend, Saturday and Sunday, since May.  

“It’s pretty good. Will’s got a camaro on his which is awesome! I wanna get a Tesla.” Ryan continued, pulling up a side panel of cars to show you exactly which one he planned on getting.  

“Dope.” You nodded as if any of the cars meant anything to you. “Hey Ryan, who’s the new kid?” You asked, dropping your voice to a whisper. You had chosen the perfect seat to be both a total creep and an interested older sister.  

Ryan glanced over at the boy in the corner, at the most 7 years his senior, and shrugged, “dunno, we’re not in the same group. Tyler’s the oldest in our group.”  

The groups were broken up into two sessions, from what you understood when the ward doctor had first explained the hospital to your mom. Eight to thirteens and then fourteen to seventeens. New boy had to be your age.  

You kept watching as the woman finally said goodbye, attempting a hug that he didn’t return and then hurrying out of the double doors. She was here less than you thought she’d be, less than you. It was just the three of you in the rec room now. There were two on this floor and this one was mainly used for visitation, probably because it was a little nicer.  

“Hey new kid do you wanna play Road Blocs with me?” Ryan called over to him, pointing to the screen of the computer.  

New kid looked over and yeah, he was even cuter when you could see his face unobscured. It sounded weird to say it but he looked something like a sad bunny rabbit, if that was a possible facial trait. The sad at least, was a definite. And tired, judging by the purple beneath his eyes. The cute ones could never just be mentally stable could they?  

He picked himself up off the couch and walked over slowly, moccasins shuffling and you thought they looked out of place on his feet. “What is it?”  

“You drive this car around-“ Ryan went into an explanation of the game while new boy pulled a chair up on the other side. He looked over Ryan’s head at you, eyes meeting. You wondered later, because in the moment you were nothing but dazed and had managed only a small smile before looking away, if he looked at everyone so intensely. Like he was digging through their entire being to figure them out in one glance.  

“Sounds fun.” You weren’t sure if he was humouring your brother or actually interested in the game but either way he took the mouse from Ryan and began driving the car around the lot.  

-

“Hey,”  

You looked over toward the window to find Connor there. He gave a slight wave and then signalled for you to come over toward him.  

“Hey, how’s it going?” you asked, looking back toward the double doors your brother would be coming through soon.  

“Alright, didn’t think I’d see you.” He replied, looking back down to his chipped black nails.  

“I can’t come on Saturday because I have a college interview so I figured I’d stop by tonight,” you replied, sitting down on the chair beside him.  

It would be March soon and you had been coming every weekend just like you always did. Only, things had changed quite a lot since October. It wasn’t just Ryan that you visited anymore but Connor too. He hung around the visiting room on the weekends while you were there with your brother and he even made sure to look out for the younger boy during the week. Mostly though, he used his phone and computer privileges to contact you.  

The two of you would talk about nonsensical stuff, like music you liked or movies you wanted to go see or plans you had for the summer. He talked you through homework when you were stressed and he was allowed his hour on the phone. Connor had become someone who was a friend but who was also a little more than just a friend. You didn’t drop everything to spend an hour on the phone with just a friend. Or log on to your computer to email with him the second your phone alerted you to the first message in your inbox. Connor was not just a friend but neither of you had broached the ‘more than friends’ discussion yet.

“Excited?” He asked, twisting to see you better.

“Hardly, I just keep imagining myself screwing it up completely.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.” You replied.

Connor reached over, taking your hand in his and surprising you enough that you could practically hear your heart hammering in your chest. Could he tell?

“You’re way too smart to fuck it up, trust me, you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks...but are you sure your mom hasn’t been sneaking you weed?”

“I wish.” He laughed.  

The double doors swung open and Ryan came bursting through, looking happy as ever and holding an envelope in his hands. When he saw you he made a beeline for your chair, throwing himself onto your lap and hugging you. Connor let go of your hand and shifted away in his chair.  

When he had calmed down enough to stand up you decided it was safe to speak, “Hey, how’s it going?”  

“Good! I got stickers from Will, do you want one?” He asked, holding the envelope out to you. All the stickers inside were red rectangles with white writing, SUPREME printed on them. When you had plucked one out he passed the envelope along to Connor.  

“Are they all the same?” Connor asked, fishing out three. He unpeeled one and stuck it to the front of his grey t-shirt.  

“Yeah, I don’t know where Will got ‘em but he gave me the whole envelope.” Ryan replied, “I told him they’d be evenly distributed.”

“Well thank you, I appreciate the distribution.”

“Do you guys wanna play roadblocks?” Your little brother was already making his way over to the computer when he asked, still hooked on that game even after all these months. It was structured enough that he didn’t get bored and chaotic enough that he could follow along without being confused.

“Still with this game?” You asked, grabbing a folding chair to sit next to him.  

Connor followed behind you, sitting on the other side of your brother like always. Weekends had become almost predictable. You would meet both Ryan and Connor for computer games. Halfway through Connor would break so that he could visit his mother, who still religiously came in, just like you, and then he’d rejoin the small group. You were certain the first time he joined you was some bizarre fluke but he continued to go along with whatever game Ryan was hooked on.  

-

The gymnasium was filled with families, a buzz of indistinct conversation floated through the air as Connor made his way down the side aisle to where he saw Ryan standing, spinning one of those fidget toys that had been so popular a year ago. When Ryan saw Connor he waved, an excited smile on his face.

“Hey!” Ryan gave Connor a hug, causing the older boy to tense up from the sudden contact. When he pulled away he held the fidget spinner up for Connor to see, “I just got it, it glows in the dark.”

“Oh yeah?” Connor took the spinner, cupping his hands so that it was covered and peering through. “Damn, it does.”  

“Told you!”  

It was graduation day at your high school and you’d bought an extra ticket for Connor. Since his discharge from the hospital he’d spent most of his free time at your house. With his phone returned he was able to text you whenever he wanted and he did, often, but neither of you had progressed passed the ‘just friends’ status. Cute boys who were emotionally oblivious were probably your type though, so it wasn’t surprising.  

Once the actual graduation started and the gymnasium became quiet, except for the person speaking on the stage, Ryan started to get antsy. Connor felt a nudge to his side fifteen minutes into the principal’s opening speech. When he looked over Ryan was shifting positions on his seat. Your mom looked over at the same time, leaning in and whispering for Ryan to behave and sit still.

“Sorry, I’m warm.” He said, shifting once more.

“We can go outside?” Connor asked, looking to the side door. It was warm, with everyone in there. He wouldn’t hate stepping out. “I don’t mind.”

Outside was where you found Ryan and Connor, post-graduation, sitting on curb. Or at least Connor was, Ryan was racing back and forth asking Connor to time him to see how fast he was. When he saw you exit the gymnasium he veered off his path, running over to give you a hug.  

“Sorry,” Connor piped up, “we kinda missed the whole thing.”

You shrugged, “hey Ryan, mom’s wants you inside.”  

“Alright.” He released you, hurrying over to the doors and heading back inside while you walked over to Connor.  

“Thanks for coming out here with him, he can’t really do sitting down.”

“Oh trust me, I know.” Connor replied, standing up and brushing off his jeans. He appraised your graduation gown and the nice outfit you wore underneath briefly, “you got pockets?”

“Why?”

“I got you a present.”

“Mmhmm.” You hummed and nodded. Connor pulled a plastic ziplock out of his sweatshirt pocket with what appeared to be an oversized rice crispy treat inside. You took it skeptically, unzipping the bag and taking a whiff before laughing out loud. “Did you just hand me an edible on school grounds?”

“Not like you can get detention.”  

“Oh my god, I thought your mom told you to stop smoking.”

“Well I’m not really smoking am I,” he shrugged, grinning, “by the way, only a little at a time, it’s pretty strong.”

“How much have you had?”

“Are you suggesting I gave you my leftovers?”  

“I’m suggesting you like to dip.” You replied, breaking off a tiny piece and eating it before stuffing the bag into your pocket.  

“I haven’t had any...from that bag at least.”  

You shook your head at him in mock exasperation. You didn’t mind the weed habit, if it made Connor feel better you weren’t going to argue with that. He was balancing it out with CBD oil (a cheaper alternative, you had pointed out, in case he wanted to save his money for something else) which helped Cynthia feel less like her kid was a drug addict. Even your brother took CBD gummies to help his moods.

“Anything else?” you asked. Connor had told you that he had something important to talk to you about today and you were sure that it wasn’t the edible. Or you hoped at least.  

“Anything else?” He repeated, raising an eyebrow and looking at you as if he was trying to figure out what you were getting at.  

Maybe the edible really was it.

“Anything else you needed to tell me? You texted me this morning and said-”

“I know.”

“So?” You hated when he did this. Played dumb and made you drag out the entire thing.

“So?”

“Connor! What is it?”

“What’s what?”

“I swear to god Connor...what’s the important thing?”

“Oh yeah, that,” he smiled when you groaned at him in annoyance, “go on a date with me?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”  

You rolled your eyes, smacking his arm gently, “stop repeating everything I say...and, okay. Okay, yes I’ll go out with you.”

“Thank god, otherwise I was gonna take the edible back.”

“What?” You laughed, “that is not contingent upon us dating! It’s a graduation gift.”

“Me taking you on the date is the graduation gift.” He replied, reaching into your pocket and taking the ziplock back so he could break off a piece of rice crispy.  

“What about...other dates, after that date?”

“Oh, you’re paying for those.”

-

My younger brother’s mom put him in a psychiatric hospital for half of the year and he just got out at the end of December, right before Christmas so...kinda based the younger brother in this on him. 

[gamefaq]

your gifs are amazing oh my gosh!! do you have a tutorial or anything on how you make them??? <3

thank you so much!! i don't have a tutorial per say but i can go through my process which is kind of like a tutorial? i'll be going through how to make this:

RECORDING:

for recording i use NVIDIA GeForce which came with my pc i'm not sure if it's something you can just download? otherwise i use OBS but it's rare that i do, it's only really for when i have a game that isn't supported by NVIDIA but it's not bad to use by all means. i just personally think NVIDIA is a bit easier to get to grips with and if i'm using a youtube video then i use y2mate.com

for my more recent gifsets i've been using a lot of console commands to get rid of the HUD and also to no clip for example to get closer to something you wouldn't normally be able to in game or just to have some more fun camera angles. pretty much every game to my knowledge has console commands and the commands stay very consistent. i won't go into it too much since it's not really the main focus of the ask but there's a lot of information online about it and it's very simple to set up

(i’d say if you’re going to use console commands then wait until you’ve beaten the game if possible because console commands negate getting achievements)

MAKING:

to actually get started i use a perfectly legal version of photoshop that i'd be happy to provide so that you don't waste money on the rip off subscription adobe has

and the very first step is to go to file > import > video frames to layers to load up your recording. a window will pop up with your video and here you can crop to a specific section by using the sliders highlighted or put the entire thing into a file (though it's noted theres a 500 frame limit, you'll never need that many frames)

once you've imported your video it should look like this. if you don't have the timeline bar at the bottom then not to worry! go to window > timeline and make sure it's a timeline animation

here is where you'll size down your gif to suit tumblr's post sizing. i think everyone does this part a little different but what i do first if necessary to your project is cropping. cropping is entirely up to you and how you want your gif to look. for this particular example i won't do too much aside from crop some of the floor out but sometimes i adjust the canvas size (image > canvas size) so that the cropping's more even because it's hard to judge by eye

(edit while i’m going through this: sometimes i make a new file in the size i want my gif to be and overlay that white default layer onto my gif so i can get a good look at where exactly my gif will be cropped. i hope that makes sense? but it’s just a visual aid rather than a requirement so don’t worry if it doesn’t omg)

now to actually resize it with image > image size and here's probably my biggest advice. so i'm going to resize it so that the height is 300 and then crop the sides to 540 afterwards. but what i'm actually going to type is 302 and hit ok

due to the fact photoshop works with pixels, resizing leaves this weird transparent border that just doesn't really look that nice as a gif (or in general for that matter)

so to get rid of this and also change our width to 540 (tumblr's post dimension) i'm using canvas size

so great! now your gif is cropped, resized and ready to be edited! to prep it for editing, go to what looks like a stack of lines on top of each other on the timeline bar and convert to video timeline

EDITING:

your timeline now looks like a bit of a mess, but it's okay we're going to fix that. select all of your frames in the layers on the right hand size and go to filter > convert to smart filter. this will flatten out your frames into one singular layer which both neatens up the place and makes it so that anything you do to these frames now will happen across all of them instead of just one! if that makes sense? if not hopefully it will as we continue on

the next step is sharpening, to do this go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen and these are my settings. sometimes i switch in between 0.3 and 0.4 depending on what i'm giffing so experiment with both and see what looks better!

i then duplicate the frames (right click, duplicate layer) and going to filter > blur > gaussian blur. this isn't necessary by all means and not everybody likes to do this, i just personally do and these are my settings

by double clicking on what looks like two lines with two triangles next to where it says "gaussian blur" on the layer, i change the blur opacity to 60 and the overall opacity of the layer to 40%. this is something you can also experiment with for example i used to use 85 and 60%

COLOURING:

the final step is colouring and there's two ways of going about this really, you can either use psds where there's plenty to find on tumblr which imo is perfectly fine to use and have done it myself, sometimes i'm not in the mood to colour. or you can colour from scratch which for the sake of this explanation i will

all of these adjustments are now your best friend. what i'd say really is go a bit hog wild and experiment and see what all these different things do but i would recommend at least using curves and levels.

i don't really know how to explain this other than "move the sliders around like wheee until you think it looks nice"

i'm not going to do too many adjustments just to save some time but here's what i've ended up with (i also would just suggest putting all your layers into a folder to declutter your layers a little). i usually use a lot more layers but there’s also nothing wrong with only having 4 adjustment layers either, sometimes simple is better

(another edit: that layer 501 is just some brush tool to erase some of the ground because it looked weird, it’s not an actual adjustment layer. just in case that caused some confusion!)

and i'll just show the difference between no colouring and with colouring and why it's an important step:

(without colouring)

(with colouring)

an optional final step before we go onto exporting, if you didn't trim the clip you wanted when you first loaded in your frames you can do that step now with the video timeline. just simply drag the work area bar to where you want it (and you can zoom into your timeline bar by using the slider in the bottom left for more accurate cropping) you might also need to use this regardless if your gif ends up being too beefy in mb which we'll get into in a second

so it's time to export after the more realistic hours of recording, cropping, colouring and what have you! go to file > save for web (NOT save as or export) and a big boy window will come up. it might look a little daunting but we're really only paying attention to a few things.

it's been a bit iffy on what the actual gif limit is on tumblr at the minute but the safest bet is to aim around 3mb (but it's okay to go over, i think the max i've done is 6mb) and if it's incredibly large such as 20mb it could be your colouring or your frame count. maybe adjust a couple of things. i think white and blue can make gifs particularly beefy? but i'm not sure. and black makes gifs less beefy which is why my example is only 1mb.

then you want to click save instead of done and save it to wherever you like it to be, and you're basically done! if you want to do an extra step however which is something i've only recently started to do myself, is load up the gif file you just saved by simply going to file > open

you'll notice it's automatically switched back to a frame timeline which is fine for us, select all the frames with selecting those stack of lines again > select all frames. without accidentally clicking off the selecting click on any of the triangles in the frames in the bottom right and then other to manually change the delay of which the frames will play

for whatever reason gifs will save a little slower than what the original video was so sometimes it just makes things look a little smoother. don't change it too much though, just going from 0.3 to 0.2 is enough!

just to show, here’s the difference between 0.03 and 0.02

(0.03)

(0.02)

export just like you had before by saving for web and that’s it! you’re done! you’ve made a gif! i hope this was a good enough run through of the process because i feel like i definitely didn’t explain some things the best or i maybe skipped over some things, so if there’s any confusion please don’t hesitate to message me! i hoped you enjoyed reading either way :)