#also paul hates yoko so bad

[frereamour]

that whole conversation about india was so charged. john fellating the microphone? i don't know why everyone asks what happened in india it's pretty obvious. i think the more pertinent question is why didn't it keep happening.

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them. 

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them. 

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good. 

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't. 

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend. 

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both. 

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another. 

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote. 

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute.  Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you. 

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore. 

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least. 

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world. 

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul. 

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet. 

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

[johns-prince]

John was being honest when he described himself as dead lazy, and so having a partner and bff like Paul was perfect for him since Paul is such a workaholic and can hardly sit still.

John needed a push, someone who could carefully and patiently nudge and drive him along, or at least light the fire under his butt, because if not he could become listless, lethargic, and stuck. I'd say this was pretty obvious during the 70s.

Paul was perfectly suited for John in this, like in so many other ways too. Paul seemed not at all bothered, but quite comfortable with this position in their relationship, as far as I can tell. I'm thinking back to Paul making his way to John's house in Kenwood, that he'd often have to wake John up, this involving cups of tea or coffee. Maybe they did some writing and playing, maybe they didn't, as Paul said it was his way to get out of London.

Or, how Paul, John, and Ringo (sans George) had to do a Christmas recording, and how Paul, the whole time, was gently and patiently urging John on to just do it.

I think they're a perfect encapsulation of their relationship, these moments and memories caught.

They both gave each other a harmless need to compete, and to accomplish, together. I mean I'm sure there were plenty of times Paul's patience wore thin with John, and I'm sure John was very intentional in needling that, but insofar that I can tell, Paul really did have exceedingly, almost near limitless patience and love for John as both a partner and a friend.

John needed that, he needed someone like Paul, who could truly and unapologetically put up with him, and love him, and still want to work with him every day, day and night.

Even when the band broke up, the divorce finalized, and John was both loving and hating Paul in tandem for the next ten years... Paul was desperate to write with John again, and John was desperate just to write, you see.

PLAYBOY: But wasn’t it clear that John wanted only to work with Yoko?

LINDA: No. I know that Paul was desperate to write with John again. And I know John was desperate to write … desperate. People thought, Well, he’s taking care of Sean, he’s a house-husband and all that, but he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t write and it drove him crazy. And Paul could have helped him—easily.”

— Linda on John and Paul in the late 70’s and 1980. (X)

While Yoko was definitely driven and career oriented, that didn't necessarily mean she influenced, inspired, or drove John on herself. Not in the way Paul did. I think that's pretty evident, considering he subsumed himself to "house husband", only occasionally baking bread before even that lost his interest, in which he'd keep to lazing about, sleeping hours on end, and mindlessly watching tv.

John was no house husband, the role he took with Yoko was pretty far removed from his potential, even with Cynthia it wasn't that bad.

With Paul, John even thought of writing musicals, and he apparently wasn't even that fond of musicals—but if Paul wanted to do it, like so many other things, then why couldn't John? If John had Paul, then he could do just about anything and everything, really.

“MM: In the early days, did John and Paul really write together?

MARTIN: Yes, but they also wrote separately. “Please Please Me” and “From Me To You” and “I Want To Hold Your Hand” were undoubtedly collaborative efforts. They’d sit down and literally construct the songs together. I can’t remember the first individual songs, although obviously even before I met them they were writing individually, but if you go through them you can hear which of them are John-oriented and which are Paul-oriented. “Yesterday” is obviously Paul, and that’s an interesting point because it was the first time we ever used anyone other than Beatles on a record. There was no one on that record but Paul and a string quartet.

MM: Did you notice them growing apart, developing distinct personalities?

MARTIN: Paul and John had their own identifiable styles: Paul was the syrupy one and John was the hard one. But the rift wasn’t there then. They were really a unit.

MM: Could you tell me what you think of what each one has done individually since the last Beatles record?

MARTIN: I have great admiration for George. He’s done tremendously because it’s a sort of devotion to duty as far as he’s concerned. We forced him into being a loner, I guess … he could never collaborate with anybody in his writing and therefore when the split came he had more strength because he was forced to be alone. He learned an awful lot about producing, studio techniques, and so on, so that he was able … obviously, any one of them had the power - because they had the money - to spend as much time in the recording studio as they liked, and I know that when George made his album he spent six months doing nothing but overdubbing his own voice 16 times and producing his album. To have the tenacity to do that in itself is something of an achievement, but to go along and actually produce good sounds and good music and good lyrics with it is tremendous. I’m full of admiration for that.

I think the other two have suffered by comparison, because they’ve each indulged themselves in their own way. John’s become more obvious in a way … “Power To The People” is a rehash of “Give Peace A Chance,” and it isn’t really very good. It doesn’t have the intensity that John’s capable of. Paul, similarly with his first album … it was nice enough, but very much a home-made affair, and very much a little family affair. I don’t think he ever really rated it as being as important as the stuff he’d done before.

I don’t think Linda is a substitute for John Lennon, any more than Yoko is a substitute for Paul McCartney.”

— George Martin, Melody Maker Interview, 1971. (X)

John was very partner orientated. He needed someone, whether he liked it or not, and he needed them to need him too.

He didn't like being a husband, but he liked having a wife, someone there for him constantly, who loves him and will care for him. John had Cynthia for that, at the start. John had Pete as his partner in crime, bestest of mates, when they were just kids.

Then, John had Paul, and turns out, Paul just about covered all of that, too, and plus it. A best friend, a coconspirator, a wife, a collaborator, his partner, his rival and his greatest ally and muse. Cherry on top, Paul needed John just as badly, madly. Maybe John never saw it that way, maybe that was why he had his fear, his insecurity that Paul never really needed him as much as John needed him.

“IRVIN: Back then people were very keen on knowing who the leader of the group was…

GEORGE M.: Yes, I was. When I first auditioned them I said, “Who’s going to be the leader, is it John or Paul?” Such an odd couple really, because they were diferent and yet very similar, both had big egos, both very good songwriters, but they needed each other like mad.

IRVIN: Did they really like each other? It wasn’t just a competitive partnership.

GEORGE M.: Oh no, they loved each other! They were brothers, and like brothers they pissed each other off quite a lot. John could be maddening at times, Paul can be very bossy and even more maddening and George would get fed up with both of them. But they did love each other and adored what the other did and had an incredible bond.

Paul always took inspiration from John, especially in his lyric-writing. ‘Eleanor Rigby’, for example, wouldn’t have happened without John’s influence. Paul wrote all of it but John’s influence was there and similarly John was knocked out by the freshness Paul brought to melodies and harmonies. He learnt from Paul how to put in the odd chord that choked you up a bit.”

— George Martin, interview w/ Jim Irvin for Mojo: Sir George Martin: The Mojo interview. (March, 2007) (X)

I think I've gone off tangent, but the point of this was to say, John was dead lazy, vastly intelligent and talented, but very prone to sloth. Paul was a rather perfect stopper to that. He could whip John up, get him moving, shaking, ever patient and ever loving, just the right enough of mean, bitchy and stubborn, smart and quick tongued, to meet John toe-to-toe. Like a house on fire these two fired each other up, talk about all-consuming and intense.

They were pretty perfectly matched for each other.

“It was like a tug of war. Imagine two people pulling on a rope, smiling at each other and pulling all the time with all their might. The tension between the two of them made for the bond.”

— George Martin on Lennon/McCartney (X)

[menlove]

do you have any girl!mclennon hcs? like how they'd do their hair, how they'd dress, their relationship etc etc

LESBIAN MCLENNON I LOVE YOUUUUU. have a dump. i think about them constantly.

in my mind (at least when they're younger), paul would look like shauna shipman (the character not the actress bc the actress is blonde w blue eyes lmfao) while john i could see being played by rachel sennott

i think i've mentioned this before but paul's first name is definitely mary. pauline is probably her middle name and she just goes by paul. john's harder i've given this thought before but never landed on one, but she still goes by john bc i say so

paul before meeting john is definitely trying to fit into the mold of nice 50s teenage girl- hoop skirts, ponytails, cardigans. when she starts getting more into rock she WANTS to dress differently but doesn't until john talks her into it and then it's leather jackets and drainies still. john just never conformed she wouldn't give a fuck about it

they'd both be in really interesting situations! because paul here is the Oldest Girl after her mom died. so moreso than in real life, the brunt of expectation & household management would get shoved on her, especially with jim out gambling and drinking. similarly, mimi would be driven to insanity with john because she's nowhere NEAR how she thinks she should be and she also sort of sees her as julia 2.0 and she's petrified for her

i think they're probably a lot more physically affectionate bc how casual homophobia between women manifests vs w men is very different, so they're allowed to sort of hang off each other as long as it doesn't Get Weird. and it does certainly get weird with them, they get called dykes more than a few times

i think paul would more readily accept being asked to wear makeup and dress proper again by brian (who is a semi-out lesbian here i can't take away the beautiful homoeroticism of brian & john's relationship) whereas john is gnashing her teeth and throwing the world's biggest fit about it. sometimes paul does her makeup for her though and that's alright.

they start to loosen up with it in '66 and get more androgynous and by pepper's era they're both THRIVING being able to dress androgynously. paul starts getting funky with her makeup around that era too and john just stops wearing it completely

john cuts her hair shorter around revolver era and paul follows suit because they're Mirrors. paul has a twiggy thing going on.

paul also grows her hair out again in the worst most untamed Mess you've ever seen around get back era.

i've had this thought that they've fooled around a bit and john's out in an open industry secret sort of way like. girls would still throw themselves at the girl!beatles i feel this in my soul and i think george and john would be out getting pussy while paul WANTS to be out getting pussy but is holding herself back. but john will Not fuck her like she fucks other girls because this would tip whatever they're doing into Romantic territory like she KNOWS it would be different with paul and this pisses paul off to no end.

of course they DO end up fucking at some point and this makes things worse for everyone involved

paul has a boyfriend who she keeps getting on and off again engaged to (peter asher maybe lmfaoooo in which case... she is lowkey also still fucking jane on the side) and john hates him so so so so bad she wants that man dead and she makes it obvious

yoko is still a woman and her and john do political lesbianism (yoko's straight, john isn't, this is as much as a disaster as anyone would expect it to be) and paul is climbing the fucking WALLS out of how mad the whole thing makes her because it's not HER that john's being openly gay with. not that she'd want to be! but it's the fact that SHE was never ASKED!

linda is also still a woman and this also makes john madder than anyone's ever been because what do you mean paul has been into women romantically this entire time and now she's having a not-so-secret affair with an american photographer and moving to fucking scotland with her? she's losing it.

[bambi-kinos]

Re: John being demi - don’t you think it’s possible he had sex because that’s what was expected of him? His age, lifestyle, etc. Especially because of his self-destructive tendencies and not always acting on how he truly feels. Or acting in a way that doesn’t express how he truly feels - i.e. Barcelona. He could have easily slept with Yoko early on, with her throwing herself at him but it wasn’t until correspondence and a deeper connection did he engage sexually. Not to mention him not wanting to have sex with men later in life because he couldn’t find one he connected with in that way. To me even the lyric “My love will turn you on” - is revealing.

If you want to interpret John Lennon as demisexual then you certainly can and I can't and won't stop you. But since you're asking me directly my answer is just a flat "no." John was sexually attracted to women so he slept with them. He was conventional that way. He was also hooking up with Yoko soon after Indica, he did not wait until the night he took LSD with her and recorded the sex tape.

You need to remember the cultural climate John existed in. It was "expected" of John to get married to a woman, settle down with her, have children, hold a steady uninspiring job, and then die at 70 with a gold pocket watch in his waistcoat without ever standing out from the crowd or doing anything that would express his individuality and personal needs. These were the stultifying expectations John grew up under and he hated it.

The Beatles kept their orgies secret because it would have destroyed them as a band if it got out that they were nailing groupies, this is the exact OPPOSITE of it being "expected" of them to have sex with lots of women.

The performative aspect was the groupies expectation of John to act like Beatle John while he was thrusting. That doesn't mean John disliked it or was carrying out an act he found distasteful for the sake of expectations. And remember: John kept posters of Bridget Bardot and Elvis Presley in his bedroom at Mendips because he was jerkin' it to their images. He only had a parasocial fanboy relationship with them but he was deeply sexually attracted to both. This is the opposite of demisexuality which requires a personal connection of some kind.

I talked about this in the McLennon server this afternoon so I'll just repost what I said in there:

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Today at 5:20 PM john was just so laden with PTSD and agoraphobia

like Shotton talks about how John started turtling up once he got Kenwood, the hibernation years were a long time coming. but he was so deeply separated from other people even as a child and that just got worse and worse over time.

like sex was a way for John to connect with human beings and I wonder if it was the only way he could. that's not to say he couldn't fall in love if he met people but he had to keep his connections shallow as a matter of survival, he wasn't able to form those relationships easily and when he did connect to others it was because they pursued him.

Cynthia was the aggressor in her relationship with John, he liked her but he didn't pay attention to her until she dyed her hair blonde to catch his eye. Paul was super down bad. Yoko stalked him.

Otherwise even as a teenager John's relationships were strictly about sex, not romantic love, and he wasn't interested in romantic love until Paul and art school came into his life.

***

This is the exact opposite of demisexuality. John could form personal relationships and he could fall in love with people but when he did, he seemed to back away from them sexually. If we count Paul as one of John's lovers (and I do) then we see this happen to where John broke it off with Paul to pursue someone else physically (in this case Yoko.) John liked using sex as a way to connect with others but the moment genuine feelings got involved he got skittish. Note that he initially was planning to buy a house with May Pang but then he went back to Yoko when the Montauk plans began solidifying. John was certainly attracted to May Pang and he certainly had a personal connection with her but when that started getting a little too real and too deep, then he left her and would only hook up with her occasionally in controlled environments where he could ghost her easily afterwards.

The same thing happened with Yoko: after Sean was born, she and John stopped having sex and she sent him to the massage parlors to avoid dealing with him.

And don't forget how John's relationship with May Pang started: Yoko hired May Pang to be John's mistress. May was paid by Yoko to have sex with John and to keep him within Yoko's reach while they were in Los Angeles, what with Yoko's daily phone calls. May did fall in love with John but John knew that May was a business asset controlled by his wife and that she was being paid to never leave him. This was the foundation of their affection for each other. When May and John went back to New York and started looking for houses in Montauk, John opted to go back to Yoko for her smoking cure and came back ready to leave May Pang, aka the relationship with May Pang was becoming too real and too deeply rooted in actual Love (with that capital L) that meant May would no longer be forced to stay with John due to receiving a salary from Yoko Ono.

What seems to be more of a pattern in his life is that he was very wary of forming personal connections with others, when they did form it was because the second person pursued him vigorously, and then he had a saddening tendency to leave once his love with that second person began to develop into a deep, long lasting adult relationship. If anything, John seemed to use sex as a way to keep himself hidden and to stop forming connections with others because the moment he had sex with someone he could safely label them "disposable" which is exactly what he did with Paul and May despite his intense connections with both of them and the fact that he was sexually intimate with both of them.

John seemed to fear love and the responsibilities and ecstasies that it brings. This is not demisexuality as I understand it and I simply cannot agree with the assertion that John was demisexual.

[eloeloanna]

Songs post - here I will write all the readings about songs ❤️

This will take time, so everytime I do a song reading, I will edit this and telling you about the update.

This is for entertainment purposes only.

-

Check my readings! here

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Was “If I fell” a song dedicated to Paul?

I think this song was for Paul, but unfortunately he didn’t respond like John wanted 😭. John felt like a fool. I think what made John feel good was the fact that he at least “said” something, even when Paul was being a prick 😭. I think Paul, probably without “noticing” the song, later was more affectionate with John. And John was like “what kind of game is this one playing?” 😭😭😭

About “Now And Then”

Anon asked me If this song was dedicated to Paul, but when I first asked this question, the cards decided to tell me the context behind the song.

So what I did, after understanding the context, was asking about any of the candidates. I asked about May, Yoko, and Paul.

I hope you like this one. I did! Even If it was kind of sad in the beginning.

The context behind Now and Then

The cards start telling me about the song: the song is part of a reflection from the current feelings and the past, the want to do something about it, but also the contradictory feeling of “maybe it’s just me romanticising the past. Maybe it wasn’t that good”. Even when feeling like that it was evident that John wanted to reach someone, even when this feeling was torturing him, feeling like mad: it was a mix of hating it, desiring it, wanting to know the truth of it. But he felt that he already left that relationship a long ago, it was like there was nothing else to do. He would thought about what would’ve happened if he gave more, what would’ve happened if they put the things in “their right place”. He thought how happy they would’ve been. He thought about what he left. Also, he tried to watch his past with more impartial lenses, but he knew he was fooling himself. I think in this moment he felt HUGE regret. “Why did I do all of that?”. It was like all he did was for nothing. He tried to have some pride, but the truth was, that having the chance, he would go without any hesitation towards that old relationship.

The “candidates”

May - the cards start telling me about the end of his relationship with her, that it was kind of abrupt, and that he would probably felt defeated, because it was like she didn’t do anything for him? Also, for him was more important what he had before, so he worked for that, even when it may him feel bad. But he didn’t do anything about it and she kept going on with her life

Yoko - it talks about how he persued her, but how impulsive that move was. It was like he enjoyed the minutes of it happening, thinking it was right. When they were together, he had a sense of stability, and pride that left him “happy”, but deep inside he knew it was bullshit.

Paul - it talks about how John wanted to reach Paul but regretted immediately. It was like that boat sailed a long ago. But it was very difficult to still have those feelings, it was very confusing too. It was like why I’m like this even when my heart is broken. John tried very hard to make it seem like he was very happy, but knowing that he “lost” Paul was almost unbearable. He needed a way to do something, and it took him a lot of time. He did something (I think it’s the song) but he never gave it to him. He felt good because he did it, but also, not very satisfied.

So for me, the answer for this question is that this song was definitely for Paul.

[mclennonlgbt]

Hello! I hope you are well 🩷 So, these days I've been thinking about songs that Paul wrote for Linda that seem to me to be directed at John? I don't know if that makes sense, Have you ever felt this way about any song about/for her? Do you also believe that Paul wrote songs for John but didn't openly state that they were for him? Thank you in advance!:)

Hello!

1) Dear Boy

A song supposedly written about Linda, in which Paul criticizes her ex-husband for underestimating her. I'm not denying that Paul may have had this in mind, but songs often have more than one meaning. I think "Dear Boy" is also a snide dig at John.

Wikipedia says: "Certain lines such as "She was just the cutest thing around" could have referred to McCartney as being the cute Beatle. He may have changed the gender to conceal his identity [...] " - good point IMO.

John thought the song was about him, and of course the boomer Beatle fans dismissed it as nonsense because "John was paranoid." However, I think John knew Paul better than anyone + "Dear Boy" may contain some phrases that were only clear to John and Paul.

Top-notch "gay to his ex-lover" song.

2) The Back Seat of My Car

Again, I'm not denying that the song is about Paul and Linda. But not only that.

Paul said: "That's a really teenage song, with the stereotypical parent who doesn't agree, and the two lovers are going to take on the world: 'We believe that we can't be wrong.'" However, given the context, I sense a reference to John and Yoko. Paul was then blamed for the breakup of the Beatles, and Linda was also hated. John and Yoko fueled that resentment. Moreover, John "didn't understand what Paul saw in her" and had a feeling that their marriage was about to end. That's why for me the lyrics of "The Back Seat Of My Car" are similar to the lyrics of "Some People Never Know": Paul and Linda just love each other and want to be happy, and John and Yoko criticize it. Compare "Making love is wrong" with "Some people can sleep at night believing that love is a lie".

3) Silly Love Songs

I can this song can be for BOTH Linda and John.

I kinda explained my take here.

4) So Bad

If I understood correctly, it started as a song for Linda ("girl, I love you so bad") and then James, Paul's little son, "felt I was leaving him out" so Paul added "boy, I love you so bad". Cute <3

But I think the second meaning is that the song is a declaration of love for Linda and John. Something like "Silly Love Songs".

I'm sure there is more!

[raylangivins]

twenty questions for fic writers

thank you @acorrespondence for tagging me in this! i love shiteing on about writing :)

How many works do you have on ao3?

33, which shocks me because for some reason in my head the number's permanently at, like, 8.

What's your total ao3 word count?

195,093

What fandoms do you write for?

I mean currently it's beatles rpf 🌝. But also Check Please (specifically jackparse, I have absolutely no interest in anything else), Wolf 359, The Social Network, Community (although none of these are an ao3 due to I wrote them when I was 15), and some random one hit wonders.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

live through this, and you won't look back - Jack/Kent, Check Please

if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side - Kepler/Jacobi, Wolf 359

baby, it's all relative - John/Paul, Beatles

Time May Change Me - Mark/Eduardo, The Social Network

Five Men Roy Ruined For Jen - Jen/Roy, The IT Crowd

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always, unless I forget!! I don't know why I wouldn't like, if people are reading I am genuinely excited and grateful for that. Why wouldn't I tell them? (I'm very bad at thinking of things to say which aren't just "I'm glad you enjoyed it", but I try).

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think lately you've been feeling so good i forget my future (in which jack and kent go to prom) is pretty grim not even because the ending itself is the worst but also it foreshadows so much worse to come. Most of my jackparse fic is them as teenagers because I love that "the worst is yet to come" doom that constantly hangs over them in those years. Also one and one and one is three (in which john/paul/yoko have an emotionally fraught threesome). I hurt my own feelings writing that one lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not one of the recent ones, I can tell you that! Although it depends if you mean fluffy or happy by my own metric because EYE think the best happy endings are the ones you have to work through some angst to get. So if you're looking for fluffy, probably Five Men Roy Ruined for Jen; if you're looking for a journey that ends in happiness, then I'd say wouldn't it be? nice makes me feel euphoric at the end.

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple bitchy comments but generally no.

Do you write smut?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one and it's where Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec becomes the Eleventh Doctor's companion in Doctor Who. It's cute, I still like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Although, I did have someone once finish a fic I abandoned on ff.net without really asking me first, which I thought was both flattering and hilarious of them. So true, babe. Write the finished fic you wish to see in the world!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone translated one of my old Gossip Girl fics on ff.net, also. I can't remember what language it was though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'm not opposed to it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All my fave ships are pretty much variations on the same dynamic with a few exceptions. It's comical how consistant I am about this without even trying.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Tbh I never truly rule anything out. There's a post-canon Justified fic that has lived in my head for years, that I mostly haven't written because it's a lot of work, and I don't really care about sharing it that much it's mostly just for me. There's a Dawson's Creek Pacey genderswap fic I dream of writing, but likely will never bother. There's a beatles fic where Paul can talk to instruments that I actually wrote 20k for but it's so dogshit I can't bear to try to fix it so it's going to just sit on my computer forever probably.

What are your writing strengths?

I hate this question, I'm so bad at identifying these things. Vibes? I think I'm good at dialogue but that's mostly because that's what I start with, so it's like the bones of most of my fics. I've been told I'm good at like being thoughtful to all the different characters in fic even if it's not about them or their POV, which is always a nice thing to hear.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical descriptions probably. I don't care about them very much and therefore I don't put as much effort into them as I probably should. Also, I write chronologically so most of my endings are slightly lazier than the rest of the fic.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know. I've never tried it. As a bilingual person, seeing people who are not bilingual completely miss the nuances of that is actually really irritating. Especially as someone who speaks Portuguese but grew up in an English speaking country, reading TSN fic was so specifically annoying. And don't even get me started on the concept of "untranslateable" words and "saudade".

It can be done well, but often isn't. Also, if you give me a bunch of text in a language I don't know, my brain is just gonna skip over it, so it's often redundant when it's more than, like, a sentence.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fic I published was for Gossip Girl, but when I was like 11 I wrote what was essentially a Life With Derek canon-divergence fic in a copybook that I showed to a teacher in my school.

Favorite fic you've written?

All of them. But some that have not yet been mentioned on this post:

kissing just for practice - Jack/Kent (idk, I set out to do something specific with this fic and I really felt I did)

i want every other freckle - si-5 ot3 kind of (this fic means so much to me)

tomorrow i'll miss you - mclennon before sunset au (before sunset is one of my favourite movies and i worked really hard on this one)

i thought i knew one, what did i know? - paul's girlfriend catches john and paul together (this one makes me crazy and i'm the one who wrote it lol)

tagging: @softbrah @jeanharlowseyebrows @scurator @wurmzirkus @coyotesuspect @midchelle

[pennielane]

What do you think would've happened to Paul if he didn't meet/marry Linda?

this is an interesting question that sort of freaks me out a bit too much to think about for too long. obviously i lack a crystal ball (or rather, a time machine?), but i sort of assume the beatles would've stayed together like, a year or two longer? no linda meant no lee eastman, which i think would've staved off the paul vs. threetles + klein battle. obviously the money mismanagement issues would be unveiled eventually regardless, but maybe that could've been a Bonding Experience for the boys that could've brought them together in some ideal, fairytale world maybe? or maybe they all woudl've hated each other even more? i truly don't know. obviously the fractures were still there with george's unhappiness and !john&yoko! so a split was still like, probably inevitable (and any post-abbey road albums probably wouldn't have been any good in that environment). but maybe the breakup would've happened in 1972 instead of 1970. that's sort of just a guesstimate.

and once they split, i think, y'know, based on this reaction of john not showing up at the studio for 1 day:

i assume paul likely would've gone off the deep end without linda's support. i mean, he sort of did even with her support and the grounding environment of a new family, so i can only imagine how bad it could've gotten if he was in it alone. i assume harder drugs, some shitty solo albums, and then perhaps he would've gotten some other band together like wings, but not as good as wings (because again, his consumption of hard drugs was Sort Of Likely). and then he probably would've settled down and had a family with someone else, since he did always want that.

it also would've meant no RAM or wings which are like, the second biggest tragedies of it all, behind only the inevitable wondering if maybe John Wouldn't Have Been Murdered if things turned out differently (but what good does that do?)

in general paul was extremely lucky that linda stepped in when she did. she was quite literally exactly what he needed at the time, and she undoubtedly altered the trajectory of his entire life

[shinygoku]

The Beatles [The White Album] (1968)

So, after the terrific high of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and the rather more wobbly TV Special with some songs made for it that was Magical Mystery Tour (and the subsequent US spin that I covered, in opposition to the Band's original intent), The Beatles were in an odd place. India, Brian Epstein's death, John's controversial new girlfriend, tensions tightening enough that Ringo left for a couple of weeks and, of course, one of the longest damn albums ever. As it's a whopping FOUR sides, I'm gonna be doing a lightning round of sorts, let's crack on. (I don't normally hafta write this, but please scroll past the big white void lol)

Yes indeed, in deliberate contrast to the maximalist Sgt Pepper, this one is beyond minimal. The original pressings also had a unique serial number stamped in, but this has gotta be the most austere covers ever. The way the name is off centre adds a little visual interest, and one can argue this too is fine art (though it's a bit sterile for my tastes) and is suited for the task of holding all the varied songs which lack a unifying theme. Naturally, this stark white-ness gives the album it's much more common name, as just naming it after the band is pretty dull and confusing lol

SIDE ONE

Back In The U.S.S.R.: A parody of both Back In The USA and California Girls, but also a dope rock song in it's own right. Paul brings high energy, quickly but clearly sung lyrics and a slightly controversial sentiment where people aren't sure if it's pro- or anti- communism but chose one side to get pissed off at. As this one was recorded before Ringo re-joined the band, it seems the other 3 all had a certain amount of percussion presence instead. It's a good start to the album but not an all-time favourite.

Dear Prudence: Written in India in an attempt to reach out to fellow Meditation-er, Prudence Farrow, who would hole herself up in her bungalow and not answer for hours on end. It's pretty sounding but I find the name Prudence hard to take seriously... sorry, lady!

Glass Onion: A sequel to I Am The Walrus and packed with references to other Beatle songs, I dig this. It doesn't hafta have secret extra layers to be interesting lol

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: I am a certified Obladi Oblada ENJOYER and I think anyone who hates it is weak and boring, though I give the band themselves a bit of leeway here as they had to do many, many takes. But the final version is such fun~ And again I find it interesting how said Perfectionist Paul put in that bit about Desmond seemingly doing drag towards the end XD

Wild Honey Pie: Really bad. If it's a sequel to Honey Pie why does it come on before it??

The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill: The story of a lameass hunter who needs his Mum with him on hunts lol. I like how we can quite clearly hear Ringo and Yoko's voices in the choruses, adds a unique flavour.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps: FINALLY!! I can say something really enthused about a George Song for the first time since pre-Revolver! Yeah this one kicks ass, the slightly randoms strings of words still come together to make a poignant, emotive song. Though I'm not wild on the moaning at the end, and I much prefer the Acoustic version, which sounds more intimate and doesn't have Icky Clapton on it. The shamisen cover is nice too but that might be my Weeb side showing, the title does make a bit less sense that way too lol. - Anyway yeah, even this early on in the album this is easily one of the strongest numbers and is a nice showing of what George can do with his turn in the Writing Songs department.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun: A title that aged poorly whether literal or the metaphor for heroin, the song itself is another word salad that John's so fond of. The melody changes a lot so it's more interesting for the ears that way, but I'm not enchanted. Kind of like the album as a whole in that it's a mixture with not-so-hidden darkness, I s'pose.

SIDE TWO

Martha My Dear: An upbeat ditty about Paul's beloved dog. Got some of that old fashioned vibe with strings and brass sections. If ya didn't know about the big shaggy Old English Shepherd muse, I guess the lyrics sound pretty bizarre given Pauls' penchant for writing about Girls, or his displeasure with Jane Asher or Girls who may actually be John.

I'm So Tired: Unlike I'm Only Sleeping, this isn't a soothing ode to being in bed, it's more about being tormented. The lyrics get more testy and sharp with the progression and then some mumbling at the end I can't make out. Maybe a bit too good at portraying stress, I'm not into it.

Blackbird: A song in tribute to the struggles of black girls denied basic civil rights, this feels empathetic and reassuring. Even without the subtext it's a very pretty, low-key song, assisted by real vocals from an actual Blackbird, but I do recommend keeping the message in mind for this one.

Piggies: George at it again, this time with satire! Pretty clearly against Capitalism and the class system, based. We even hear a vocal from George's Mum! Even knowing it's part of the lampooning, the harpsichord and string music sounds pretty, and it helps with the juxtaposition baked in.

Rocky Raccoon: A narrative song about an odd Western scene, in which the title character (furriness status unclear) tries to get revenge on his perceived rival but fails. Easy enough to listen to but probably more notable for naming Rocket Raccoon in Marvel Comics [they had to change the name slightly lol].

Don't Pass Me By: Not just a rare Ringo song, the first one he wrote himself! This again goes for a country and western style and the narrative is similar to the Beatles For Sale type of plots. I dig the fiddle though it feels like there's a filter of sorts over Ringo's beautiful voice? That's odd. Anyway I do prefer it to What Goes On but Act Naturally clears this easy ^w^;

Why Don't We Do It In The Road?: Bad. The piano is neat but wasted. Only a smidge better than Wild Honey Pie.

I Will: A very nice song that's been seized by many, many weddings lol - very much short but sweet and I appreciate that youtube comments also apply this to a lullaby for children.

Julia: I know this is a very personal song of John's, being about his mother, and it's certainly more beautiful and heartfelt than most of this album. My main gripe is kinda petty and it's that the words get strung out a bit long. Everything else is very nice and peaceful.

SIDE THREE

Birthday: A cool rocking tune with lyrics that, while not phenomenal, blow Happy Birthday To You out of the water and into the trash where it belongs. It even gets uptempo for the bridge and changes the melody~ I hadn't heard this one until doing this write up though lol

Yer Blues: I'm not into the heavier stuff, especially knowing John's many, many issues and that this song was one of the ones where he leaned into it a bit to avoid detection. Hard Blues may have good musicianship (like this does, ooh that drumming and guitar work!) and be a decent outlet for one's woes, but I can't enjoy it.

Mother Nature's Son: This is back into a calm, gentle vibe with acoustic guitar and basic percussion. Paul keeps it simple and it's stronger for it, leaning into evocative imagery and humming.

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey: This title is too long and that pisses me off. Booooo!! 🍅🍅🍅 It's also a very harsh sound straight after the previous song, so I'll dock extra points for that. Otherwise it's an ok rock song I guess but I ain't digging it.

Sexy Sadie: This has an interesting sound and a lot of narrative focus. I think I like the piano best. It's decent. Maybe another great song vastly overshadowed by their own catolague? lol

Helter Skelter: I really like how proto-Metal music was about a kind of spiral slide found at funfairs. Sure, helter-skelter is also a phrase for things being in disarray, but Paul's lyrics clearly talk about the act of going down one'a these things made for children lmao. There's supposedly a secret extra long version, but the take used on the album still features a long coda and Ringo moment. I hope his fingers soon recovered xx

Long, Long, Long: Another George instalment! It starts off very quiet and intimate, and then crashing drums come and go, without it jarring. Then after the song a strange rattling begins and gets jamming to go along with it, apparently it was a wine bottle vibrating on a speaker? Huh! Song overall is nice but this odd ending feels a bit like a miniaturised version of the album, again!

SIDE FOUR

Revolution 1: A cool rock intro that then becomes a pretty vague kinda-political but unfortunately fence-sitting load of waffling. I get they ain't really in the best position to start calling for Landlords to be tarred and feathered, but living in 2024 and the current hellscape leaves me with less patience for this. Also I've no idea if this is the same as the Revolution without a number, I presume it's slower but I don't wanna go listen to the other one when I already ain't digging this. Piggies clears this easy.

Honey Pie: Why wasn't this before Wild Honey Pie?? This one resembles an actual song! Albeit in a kind of chopped up, ad libbing curiosity which swings. A lot more enjoyable than many other things on this compilation, though!

Savoy Truffle: Another George song (that's good!) and another Clapton having one (oh, that's bad). Not gonna lie though, it does make me want to eat some chocolates.

Cry Baby Cry: Another narrative that doesn't make much sense, but I find myself enjoying the lovely instrumental work. Another song that was brand new to my ears, though allegedly it cameos for a few seconds in Yellow Submarine, so I'll try hearing that next time I watch it :3 - Oh, and there's a coda. My main crit being John using an odd small voice for the whole thing.

Revolution 9: Number Nine. Number Nine. Number Nine. Yeah no, if this is an introduction to Musique Concrete then I don't want any. I can never listen to this whole thing, this write-up being no exception.

Good Night: A nice, peaceful song to cap this Experience off, with Ringo's lovely vocal work on a lullaby John wrote for his son. Critics may find it saccharine but I for one welcome it with open arms. Even with the surprize whispering after the main event, it manages to stay on tone and indeed feel like a parent tucking their child in.

CONCLUSION

I considered doubling the Best / Blurst amount but ehhhh, I'll stay consistent. It might be interesting to see what songs end up in like/dislike piles, but I've already spent ages on this, so maybe after the main Album reviews as a bonus issue. Maybe ¬w¬;;

Best 3: Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Helter Skelter

Blurst 3: Wild Honey Pie, Why Don't We Do It In The Road, Revolution 9

Ough. This bitch is Eclectic. There's something for everyone, but that also means there isn't much for some listeners, like myself. I feel this has been my most negative so far but there's some gems, it's just while I generally enjoyed the lesser songs of their earlier work (variable according to how poorly the main jist ages like all the Possessive Songs in AHDN lol), the songs I don't like here feel worse as they're further removed from the music I love, and the Bugs were older and more experienced by this stage and their dumb joke songs feel more irritating. But that's me. I know a lotta people dig the sheer range of choice here, and that's cool. At least in theory.

🪲🪲🪲🪲

Remember how much I wrote and quoted in Sgt Pepper? That was fun. Fortunately I know more amazing songs are coming up, wiiiith (sounds of clicking on another tab) Yellow Submarine, Abbey Road and Let It Be. Ok, as YS only has 4 new songs, I'll group that into the movie review that I'll do later on [and am warmly anticipating!], and Abbey Road was issued first but I am not ending the Albums on Let It Be! I want them to conclude on a HIGH note!!! So yeah, join me in November to Let It C, D, E

[the-invisible-queer]

Delete if you don’t want to see mild to moderate sympathetic feelings to Lennon-Ono. I know that this blog is your safe space from them.

Other than the general belief that, you know, murder is bad, and there were a lot of assholes who shouldn’t have stolen their stuff/diaries, I do think that Lennon was probably a prick and Ono may or may not have been a bitch but to say that she “broke up the band” is a vast oversimplification that devalues the fact that there were 4 grown ass adult men involved who all had their own shit going at the time. And also some people at the time were definitely having sour bigoted grapes that they were married.

It's 3am and I can't sleep so you've unlocked The Beatles special interest congratulations

Y'all gonna make me watch that goddamn video essay aren't you?

The "Yoko broke up the Beatles" argument is sexist - dare I say racist - and fucking STUPID

It's the equivalent of blaming the mistress for homwrecking and not the man who was ya know married

But 3/4 of the Beatles are guilty of breaking up the band

They lost the glue that kept them together which was their manager Brian Epstein

George was the first to leave the band but did come back

John showed what little respect he had for his band mates and his best friend when Yoko came into the picture

Paul was in the deepest depression because it was all falling apart and HE was trying to keep the ship afloat

There was a series of events that led to it starting with Brian's sudden death

By the end they hated each other

There was no chance they'd keep going together

The Beatles break up is so complicated

It's not just a simple so and so broke them up

But if you truly want to point a finger it was Paul who actually broke up the Beatles because HE was the one who filed for "divorce" and dissolved the band

You also have to keep in mind they started making music together when they were teenagers and the band fell apart before any of them were 30

Now think about how emotionally charged you are from 14-29 and throw in fame, sex, drugs, losing people closest to you

Like Paul and John are the poster children for mommy issues but that shockingly is a footnote in the breakup

There are SO many reasons to dislike Yoko Ono but the Beatles breakup ain't one of them

But in ALL honesty all 4 members of the immediate Lennon family suck and I just ignore them mostly

Like Julian and Sean really are their father's sons (derogatory)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

[johns-prince]

what do you think caused john and paul to break up as bitterly as they did?

It was such a terrible bad bitter no-good very dramatic very nasty public breakup because John and Paul loved each other.

It was imperfect, downright obsessive, possessive, intense, inclusive, and sometimes rather unhealthy, but there's no doubting the love John and Paul held for each other.

What they had was like a marriage. Their relationship was theirs and whatever that entailed well that was just Lennon-McCartney, no need to explain it, and anyone who questioned them or their partnership was immediately shut out.

It's tragic when a love like that, a partnership like that, doesn't work out, for some reason or another.

John was pretty volatile during the end too, the drugs and substance abuse, the fact he was surrounding himself with people who did not actually care for him but wanted to use him, and his spiraling mental and emotional stability. He admitted to setting the fire to the Beatles, not because he hated it or them, or Paul, but because he loved it too much (the monk setting fire to the temple)

I can believe that to a point, especially if the Beatles = Lennon-McCartney.

It was a terrible breakup because John and Paul refused to communicate like rational, mature human beings, they refused to communicate a very vulnerable, sensitive, and complicated subject—their relationship and what it all meant and what each side expected from the other at this point—and because, especially because, these two could not, would not, stand NOT being the center of each other's worlds.

Which circles back to refusing to properly talk it out about their partnership/relationship and what were the expectations and boundaries. Which maybe they tried to in India but it obviously didn't pan out.

You have two morons who are so possessively territorial over what they have, that when a real threat to the Lennon-McCartney dynamic suddenly became real (Linda and Yoko and all that these relationships and partnerships entailed) it sent their respective whole world crashing down and neither could cope or manage. If it couldn't just be Lennon & McCartney then it couldn't be Lennon & McCartney at all.

John and Paul's breakup was so awful because they were basically a husband and wife going through a divorce that one side didn't want but was forced to, and the other side pushed for it all while not being 100% serious about it and yet when the wife finally gave in the husband dared to act shocked and hurt.

And even after the nasty breakup, they were like two exes who were totally not over each other. Blatant pining, yearning, obsessive even when apart, John and Paul were pretty pathetic over each other.

Even today, Paul carries on about John and their relationship and partnership like he's the widower of John Lennon.

That's what I think.

TLDR;

What caused it to be so volatile a breakup is because John and Paul loved each other, they could not cope or manage dealing with even the smallest hint that one might not be the top priority in the others life that it caused their respective worlds to tilt and shatter because they were insanely not normal about their relationship, and neither John or Paul truly wanted the divorce to happen but regardless it happened.

They loved each other, they couldn't share each other because they were also insane about each other, and it's true that the person who is closest to you and whom you love the most, can absolutely devastate and hurt you the worst, and with such ease.

[kirbyluvr63]

To answer the first tag: yes, it's a bit shallow. I really didn't think this post would get this many notes, I'm a bit overwhelmed with the response myself. I didn't set out to do the most thorough analysis ever because I mainly wanted to tell people to not be afraid of depictions of desire and that I don't think something being disturbing is a bad thing! That's my main point.

I also don't think this was made in the 50s, but that was the date I could find and was attached to the post that I saved the collage from, I agree with you on that part! But I still think the time didn't really matter to the things I wanted to talk about, only if I wanted to add more layers and analyze stuff relating to something very specific that could have inspired him directly. Like, if Linda and Yoko were in the picture (figuratively speaking), you could argue the anger we see here could be related to how John hated Linda and Paul hated Yoko, but each man desired their to-be wives etc, etc. But I'm curious about the "diseased vagina"? I don't see it. I can see a vagina if I squint, but I don't think it looks diseased. I also don't see Linda and Yoko being groped by aliens, but I guess that's the beauty of visual arts! (I know nothing about Dune, so the reference you're speaking of flew right past my head!)

Some Thoughts™

About art, desire and John Lennon

If you're active on the Twitter side of The Beatles fandom you'd know that just yesterday a collage John made for Paul titled "I Only Have Eyes For You" made the rounds and scared people whom, I guess, don't think about visual arts very often. Unfortunately I don't use the word "scared" lightly. People really used the words "disturbing" and "concerning" to describe this piece, with a hint of a "What was Lennon thinking about our poor Paul to make this with him in mind" sentiment that I don't think it's quite fair.

I tried to search more about this collage´s context, but all I could find (without having to buy Julian Lennon's book in which the image was featured) was that it was made in the 50s, while John was still at art college, but to be quite frank, I don't think the exact date matters too much.

What I see in this image first and foremost is desire, plain and simple. Red is a sexual colour, we have naked women sprawled, the head with its mouth open in a orgasm-like fashion, the eyes symbolizing voyeurism. If anything, as a friend of mine also pointed out while we discussed it, this collage is proof of the way John and Paul were so close they were even free to be honest about their sexual desires to one another. Even if the collage was made for another purpose and gifted to Paul later, this sentiment still stands, because Paul was the person he thought would receive this part of himself with open arms.

Is the collage "disturbing"? I guess, in a way. The same way I think growing up in the 40s and 50s in a hyper-convervative protestant society like England and discovering yourself would be disturbing. Even more if you're not entirely straight as an arrow. But I don't think John's talking about this here. This is about his feelings for the opposite sex, and they weren't always nice. Red is also the colour of blood and guts, John was also known for having violent outbursts. Would it not disturb you that the object of your desire also brings up in you violence? I don't think we'll ever know why he felt that way, but here we see that he's aware of it. At least I think so.

I saw another analysis of this collage that somewhat agreed with me, but presented this argument as if this was a bad thing? I don't know exactly what made me think this way, maybe the verbiage, but I'll never think a person exploring the nature of their desire, be it disturbing or not, is wrong. Of course domestic violence is bad and I'm in no way excusing it, but if you're willing to engage with The Beatles, you have to bear in mind they were shitty to the women in their lives in varying degrees much like every man ever in general, and specially at that time.

As a self proclaimed John Lennon Scholar i.e. I Wanna Crack Open His Skull And Look At His Brain With A Microscope, I'm happy this exists, and I think I need a little more time with it myself.

All of this to say: I like it, I think John Lennon was a good visual artist and stop being weird about art.

To lighten up the mood, look at the gay as hell collage John made for Elton in 1975! This one deserved its own post with a lot of tin hatting on my part, but whatever! I love them so much (and yes, I WILL find a way to mention their friendship in every post I make, shut up. One day the Lennon/John masterpost will come).

[ericshotwell]

27 Christmas Songs I Hate

(My annual expanded list, updated for 2022.)

First let me say that I love Christmas music. I've been known to play Christmas music in the summer or at other odd times of the year; Traditional, classical, pop, even "novelty" songs. But there are a select few songs that I cannot stand, and which the radio stations all seem to bring out every year. I find it hard to believe that there are people who actually like some of these songs.

So... welcome to my annually-updated list of Christmas songs I detest. This list has grown significantly over the years. If I'm in my car, I change the station the moment I hear any of these on the radio. How about you? Read on... I bet you’ll find at least a few we can agree to hate together.

1: John Lennon, Happy Xmas (War Is Over). The rhymes are as forced as they can be. I know there are people who revere John, but the horrible lines "And so happy Christmas / For black and for white / For yellow and red ones / Let's stop all the fight" prove that he wasn't always a great song-writer. And the Harlem Community Choir can't cover up Yoko's screeching, either. Right now, this is the #1 song that gets me to change the station. Yes, I appreciate the sentiment and believe peace on earth is a worthy goal. I just don't want this song to be the anthem.

2: Paul McCartney, Wonderful Christmas Time. What a horrible song. The very first note makes me cringe. And it will stick in your head, which makes it worse. In 2012 he went on SNL and played it live. It was just as bad. Why do people like this crap?

3: Whitney Houston, Do You Hear What I Hear? With all due respect for the departed Miss Houston... first off, the song is supposed to be reverent, not a belt-it-out blockbuster. Second, the phrase she sings "Pray for peace and people everywhere" is not how the song goes. The line is "Pray for peace, people everywhere." Totally changes the meaning from being a call to prayer for all people, to being a prayer *for* people. It's a fine semantic point -- almost trivial -- but it drives me absolutely crazy.

4: Beach Boys, Little Saint Nick. I hate the Beach Boys. But I hate their faux-Christmas music even more. This comes on, radio goes off. Same with any other Beach Boys Christmas song. See also #18 on this list.

5: James Taylor, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. OK, here's the biggest offender in the "I re-wrote a classic song for no apparent reason" category. James sings the line "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, may your heart be light..." which is okay even though he substitutes the word "may" for "let" which I think is a subtle change for the worse -- and I realize that's pedantic of me -- but THEN he kills the song completely with "In a year, our troubles will be out of sight." Wait a minute, in a fricking YEAR? The song is supposed to be "from now on." Apparently James is so bummed out by this Christmas that he's waiting for the next one instead. From now on our troubles will be out of sight is so much more hopeful. James wants us to put up with crappy troubles for another year. (And after the last few years,I don't want to wait another year for my troubles to be out of sight.)

6: Hall and Oates, Jingle Bell Rock. It's Hall and Oates. Although if you ever get a chance to watch the video for this, do it. It's so cheesy that it actually improves the song.

7: Michael Bolton, White Christmas. If he strained to hit that note any harder, he’d be having a brown Christmas.

8: Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Christmas Canon. Their "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" is okay since it sounds so ominous, but this one is the song where they put words (sung by a children's choir) to Pachelbel's Canon. The music is wonderful by itself but the choir makes it unbearable.

9: Backstreet Boys, The First Noel. Or maybe it's 98 Degrees, or NSync, or New Kids on the Block. Regardless, it's just painful.

10: John Cougar Mellencamp, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- I can't stand the country-pop twangy sound of this one. I'd say more about this but I don't think I've ever heard the song all the way to the end.

11: David Bowie with Bing Crosby, Little Drummer Boy. It's not as bad as the other ones on this list, but I don’t like this one either. Bing sounds weak and frail at this point in his life and that just makes me sad, plus the idea of David Bowie just "stopping by" his house to visit a neighbor and sing an insipid song about peace is a little contrived and silly.

12: Carpenters, Sleigh Ride. Who let that one dude sing? You know who I mean. He's the one with the terrible voice singing the two lines "There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray", and "There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy." Like nails on a chalkboard.

13: Andy Williams, The Holiday Season (Medley). I’m convinced one of the reasons Andy never made it big was because he wrote the line “so whoop de doo and hickory dock, and don’t forget to hang up your sock.”

14: Gloria Estefan, Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Did someone get her a cheap electronic drum machine for Christmas? Her voice is great, but it's the "band" I have a problem with. The chorus should be "Make It Stop! Make It Stop! Make It Stop!"

15: (2011) Dan Fogelberg, Same Auld Lang Syne. Come on, it's not even a real Christmas song! Plus, the narrator meets his ex-girlfriend in a grocery store and basically entices her to drink a six-pack of beer with him in his car. Did I mention that she's married? Nothing says Christmas like some beers in your ex-boyfriend's car. When I hear this song, I have to wonder how her partner would feel if he knew she split a six-pack of beer with her ex in an empty parking lot on Christmas Eve. Then she *drives* away... Doesn't that also imply she was probably over the legal limit, too? This is a train wreck of a song.

16: (2012) Josh Groban, The First Noel. Oddly-paced and overwrought. Just when you think it can’t get any more pretentious, a choir starts singing too. So overdone it almost makes Michael Bolton's song sound good by comparison.

17: (2013) Justin Bieber. I switched this off before I even caught the title of the song. Hopefully one day people will read this list and say "Who is Justin Bieber?" From the one time I heard it, this doesn't even seem like a Christmas song.

18: (2014) The Beach Boys, The Man with All The Toys. Please stop allowing The Beach Boys to sing Christmas songs. Just no.

19: (2015) Most (but not all) versions of Baby It’s Cold Outside. Because they usually sound creepy at best, or forced… especially the version sung by Lady Gaga and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (yes, really). However, there is an argument to be made that the song is actually meant to be empowering (for its time), by implying that the woman who is singing is making up half-hearted excuses as to why she should leave, while actually *wanting* to stay. So that means her “say, what’s in this drink?” line was actually saying that precisely *nothing* was amiss with the drink at all, not even a hefty dose of alcohol, but that she is wanting to avoid being judged or chided by her family for staying the night by basically saying she must have had too much to drink and has to stay as a result.

20: (2016) Michael Bublé and Shania Twain, White Christmas. This is such a poorly-done cover of "White Christmas" that it is a travesty. It is over-produced, the duet doesn't seem to be in sync half the time, and it has none of the wonderful playulness of the version by The Drifters. And Michael Bublé over-pronounces all the lyrics. It's like listening to Christmas music in an English as a Foreign Language class.

21: (2017) LeAnn Rimes, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. She pretty much cut-and-pastes her way through this song. Zero character, all belched out like heartburn. Every line sounds the same... “ROCKin’ aROUND...”

22: (2018) LeAnn Rimes, I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Apparently nothing is sacred anymore... not even novelty songs. The cadence of this is terrible. And that’s the nicest thing I have to say about this song. I shouldn’t pick on her so much but she could learn a lot from Martina McBride on how to not butcher a cover song. Two years in a row of making the list!

23: (2019) John Tesh, Carol of the Bells. You say you hate Mannheim Steamroller’s Carol of the Bells? What if we added flamenco guitar?

24: (2020) Eartha Kitt: Next Year’s Santa Baby. Santa Baby, the most popular Christmas Song of 1953 (which was banned in the Southern United States because it seemed too suggestive!) had a sequel. Did it need a sequel? It did not. (Also, any other singer’s version of Santa Baby isn’t worth listening to.)

25: (2021) Taylor Swift: Silent Night. Ah, Taylor Swift's 2021 ear-splitting rendition of solemnity. They obviously lost the sheet music to this one before recording it. The music is not Silent Night. But it is tone deaf.

26. (2022) Train: Shake Up Christmas. “C’mon y’all, it’s Christmastime!” Oh my God. I couldn’t hate the chorus to a song any more than I hate this one.

27. (2022) Chicago - Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree. A late addition to 2022, and for this one, I’m violating my own rule of only one song I hate per year. I would rather listen to the LeAnn Rimes version a dozen times before I’d want to hear this one again. When I first heard this I thought it must be Kidz Bop doing a cover version of a Smashmouth Christmas cover song.

By the way, did you know that Billy Idol released a Christmas album in 2021? It’s nearly as bad as REO Speedwagon’s truly awful Christmas album I mentioned a few years ago.

Now, lest anyone think I am a total Grinch, here's my additional list of traditional and non-traditional Christmas songs and albums that I think are worth including in your playlist because they're exceptional:

Traditional:

1. Johnny Mathis, Merry Christmas (CD)

2. Frank Sinatra, A Jolly Christmas (CD)

3. Bing Crosby, The Voice of Christmas (CD) (or any other Bing Christmas CD)

4. Nat King Cole, It's Christmas Time

5. Perry Como, Greatest Christmas Songs (CD)

6. The entire White Christmas soundtrack. Except, of course, for 'Choreography.'

Non-traditional:

Martina McBride, White Christmas (CD): I am not a fan of country music, but her renditions are ultra-traditional and she does the only version of 'Do You Hear What I Hear' that stays true to the Bing Crosby version.

Chris Isaak, Winter (CD): Quirky, with a bit of a California or Hawaii feel to it.

Barenaked Ladies, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen / We Three Kings medley": This song is with Sarah McLachlan, and is pretty cool even though she overdoes the whole "solemnity" thing a bit.

Diana Krall, "Jingle Bells": Jazzy and sultry.

Harry Connick Jr., When My Heart Finds Christmas (CD): Harry sounds a lot like Sinatra on this CD, but his version of 'Ave Maria' is exceptional.

Jewel, O Holy Night: Totally brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it. The rest of her 'Joy' CD is mediocre (and the version of Rudolph is almost un-listenable) but O Holy Night is pure and beautiful.

Leon Redbone/Zooey Deschanel, "Baby It's Cold Outside" (from the Elf Soundtrack): Something indescribably cool about Leon's voice makes this song better than the Dean Martin version. Dean's rendition seems a little more like coercion than romance. (See above notes on this song.) And despite the flaw in grammar in the group’s name, Zooey Deschanel’s vehicle “She and Him” provides some more acoustic Christmas cover songs that aren’t half bad.

That's it for 2022. More next year! Let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree. Or if you know of any I should consider adding to my list.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6iTguNQlmcQHZuWIRmqXQq?si=X82RUCBkTg6NAh8UxvIEAA