#also one of the instances where 'never meet your idols' can be applied

[lisa-cuddys]

What I love about watching Catherine Tate's convention panels is that she is making it into her own show, she is doing stand-up comedy with audience interaction and participation possibility for everyone who wants to. She basically does what she loves most - comedy entertainment. And she does it so brilliantly! She doesn't even need a moderator, she can work with audience so effortlessly! Like people can tell her jokes, come up to the stage and do bits with her, and everyone gets to ask a question or take a photo with her if they wish, and she is so sweet and kind to everyone and everybody gets a hug. Her panels are worth every penny people pay for it because they get to have a blast and they get a full Catherine Tate experience and the best time ever!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Thank you for your informative posts. You both always do so well. I'd love to hear your thoughts about BTS carsharing. I don't personally agree, but some fans think of it as "absolute proof" that their ship is real or much more closer compared to others.

Admin 1: I’ll go first since, once again, I have less to say about this topic. I’ve been ARMY for years and up until perhaps halfway through 2020 when I noticed shippers using the “driving together” argument as irrefutable proof and holding onto it like their lives depend on it, I never paid any attention at all to which member shared a car with whom. Yes, I do know about that time vmin arrived at the airport together with Yeontan and that was super adorable, but did I think that was proof of vmin being real? No. That thought didn’t even cross my mind. And it still doesn’t.

Those cars are their company cars, meaning the ones they take during work. Those are not their private cars which they take during their private time. If they were, then I’d be inclined to discuss if two members always sharing a car might mean something (though even then not necessarily romance wise), but as long as they are company cars with a company driver and at least one manager present inside taking them from schedule to schedule, often times who goes with who being decided by their security team based on surely a plethora of factors we know nothing about, I couldn’t care less who drives with who because, in my opinion, it doesn’t mean anything in connection to ships, true relationships and how close any of the members are with each other, or (even less about possible) romances within the group.

And yes, I would say the same thing if vmin would always drive together. Or if namjin would.

My counter question, actually, would be if the same people who argue that “this proves my ship is real because they always drive together” would think the same thing if instead vmin always drove together? Or do these rules, as always, only apply to their ship exclusively? It wouldn’t be the first time their hypocrisy and double standards would be glaringly obvious within such arguments, which is why I find them rather pointless.

Admin 2: I’ll admit that I look around different sns since I like knowing things, not only about BTS but in general, even politics. I’ll also admit that I sometimes do what a true fan shouldn’t do and watch things from sources (never, ever sasa/engs) we shouldn’t pay attention to on YT (even though Admin 1 tells me I shouldn’t do it). Based on that I’ve noticed how oftentimes the maknaes will leave a building or place and be directed by their security team where they should go, instead of them deciding that they will share cars because of their own ideas or friendships. It seems like it oftentimes simply isn’t their choice to make, but their managers and security team. 

In previous years when we usually only saw them arrive at airports and award shows, the constellations of who drove with who were much different than they are now that BTS are “stuck” in Korea due to the pandemic. Often JK arrived at the airport with Hobi (or any of the other hyungs), while Jimin and Tae came together. Not always, since Jimin sometimes arrived with Namjoon, but often enough, and they’d sometimes even arrive late.

My opinion is that JK and Jimin nowadays drive together simply on the sole basis that they work closely together, they are the lead and main vocals after all and share dance parts with each other as well, and if people want to describe it as “them being closest together” then yes, I agree, but only when it comes to their work. Which is also why they drive a car together from schedule to schedule.

Let’s remember their pas de deux for Black Swan at MMA (which was magnificent). It’s the best kind of example for why they share a car since they simply have similar schedules. Just learning that pas de deux to be able to dance it so gracefully and beautifully on water no less, takes an enormous amount of time and practice.

Even from a more safety angle, it’s safer for those two to be in one car. Compared to the hyung line, the maknaes are far more “under threat” due to the sheer obsession some people have when it comes to these three and when obsession is involved, people can be unpredictable. By putting at least two out of three maknaes into the same car, their security team has it easier to keep a close eye on them and keep them safe.

Also seeing as Tae has been working on his mixtape for the better part of 2020, it makes complete sense that his schedule would be a little different than the others and by taking a car on his own, it gave him the flexibility of going to the BH building whenever he wanted to between other schedules and get in time for working on music without dragging along another member who’d want to do something else in that time, or have other obligations to attend to.

Often we see Jin and Yoongi in a car, or Yoongi and Hobi, and Namjoon being on his own or with Hobi, and none of that seems to be influenced by their personal bonds and relationships either, but rather their work related obligations and schedules.

We should keep in mind that BH isn’t a romance agency, but a company for idols, music and business, so BH doesn’t in that moment care about their personal feelings for each other, but simply goes by more business and schedule related reasonings. The only time in which I could believe that BH also follows some kind of agenda (and this is only my opinion, not fact) is when the members appear at some kind of event or place where they know people will see them exit their cars.

We don’t know anything about how any of the car sharing looks like on a daily basis, what their schedules are like, or even if the company cars pick them up at home or if the members meet up at the BH building and go from there. We simply don’t know. The only thing that is certain is that if they arrive at an award show already dressed accordingly, it’s only reasonable that they went from and will return to the agency to change back into their own clothes before going home.

JK likes driving his car, we know as much, so who’s to say that he doesn’t arrive at BH building in the morning leaving his car parked in the underground car park. Or if Yoongi or Jin or Hobi do the same thing. We also know that sometimes Namjoon used to take his bicycle to the BH building, or a time when Seokjin said he did the same and halfway there passed someone who greeted him though in the moment he had no idea who it was and later it turned out it was Yoongi on his bicycle returning from the BH building. As vminnies we should remember what Jimin said, that due to their differences in schedules Jimin and Tae weren’t even able to record any of Friends together, which is why they left those messages in the blank moment of the song behind for each other. Remember that vlive that Jimin and JK did making gimbap? On a weekend? Tae said he was at the BH building since the morning working on his music, which again shows how different their schedules on a day to day basis are.

When it comes to the “popular” opinion that’s being spread across all sns about “two members driving together must mean they are super close/are a couple”, I disagree with that. Sometimes when I look at those comments and the things they are implying, I actually kind of feel a little sorry for JK. It seems like those who push their agendas involving him don’t “allow” him any private life with his own thoughts and wants, but merely see him as this pawn that’s supposed to act just the way they want him to and as attachment for one or the other ship. They don’t “allow” him any time for himself, any time to recover and relax after a day of hard work, but just see him as part of their ship that always has to be together, that’s basically fused together at the hip and sees no other reason for anything they do other than being together (some even claiming that they do naughty things in the company cars on top of everything else). It’s almost like some don’t see him as his own person, which just is plain wrong.

Why doesn’t the same also apply to Jin and Yoongi, who oftentimes also share a car? Why do people accept and see it as obvious that Yoongi also needs some time on his own or to spend it with different members doing different things, or just being in his studio doing something for hours without anyone around? Why do people respect that and not immediately conclude that he’s “moved away” emotionally from the group like they so often imply with a certain maknae?

One observation I’d like to share, which shows that sharing a car doesn’t have to mean anything at all, would be the time after Bang Bang Con. The members left the building one after the other, and sure, JK and Jimin went together, after JK was directed toward the car Jimin was in by their security staff, but the interesting part is this: Jimin was the only member that left the building without a bag or purse or anything. Meanwhile Tae left with two, one of them looking like his own and the other like a bag that clearly belonged to Jimin. Both bags left with him. Or the time when they had their KBS interview where they arrived in one constellation yet left in a different one where Tae, Jimin, JK and Hobi shared a van even though they hadn’t done so upon arrival.

Both these instances, and many others, show us that their car sharing arrangements simply don’t mean a thing, in my opinion. 

If you’ve ever worked in a team or been part of a sport team or even a dance team, you know that you develop an entirely different level of closeness, especially as dancers where physical closeness is oftentimes key to certain choreographies and poses. But this closeness in conjunction to work is something entirely different from the type of closeness a couple has and can’t even be compared to it. Just look at figure skating pairs where the guys lift the girls into crazy poses while holding them by their butts or thighs and they have no issue with such closeness, which you might assume could mean they are also actual couples, but the thing is that most pair skaters are not. Most of them have other partners or marriages because that closeness to a romantic partner is entirely different from your skating partner, even if they are your closest friend.

Vmin don’t share cars, and yet at the end of the day Tae still texts Jimin that he’s too lazy to move and that instead Jimin should come sleep next to him.

[egle0702]

[TRANS] Bazaar June 2017 Park Hyungsik Interview

BORN TO BE WILD

Park Hyungsik calmly walked into the Hawaiian nature where sun, wind, fog, and sudden showers changed one another in unparalleled fashion like special effects. A full-fledged 26-year-old actor, who is slowly discovering the taste of acting, without a touch of fear or hesitation explored the unfamiliar world. The diverse Park Hyungsik’s prism that radiates between an innocent boyish face and a wild manly appearance. ----By Editor Kim Areum

When we met Park Hyungsik for the first time at the Honolulu Airport in Hawaii, he was completely covered in black, hiding behind a hat and a mask. The Hawaiian daylight was sweltering hot after spending a sleepless night aboard the plane. After some time of driving over the sauna-like asphalt, right when we got closer to the ocean, it felt like the cool breeze has finally shown its true colors and greeted us with a warm “welcome.” It was perhaps two hours after landing. When we met Park Hyungsik again at the Waikiki Beach, he wore red shorts and a white t-shirt with flaming red flowers on it. With his cap backwards, he defended his seat at the very front of a 15-seat mini bus with a certain boyish expression on his face. The person who likes ramyeon, enjoys computer games, and definitely adds spicy jalapenos into his spaghetti.

After having watched him closely for three days, we could say that actor Park Hyungsik is somewhat similar to a kitten that magically appears out of nowhere once someone starts shaking something fluttery. Shall we say he has a talent to arouse his surroundings by concentrating on the most trivial matters even when he is contemplating somewhere far away, out of his territory? This 26-year-old actor, with the eyes full of life and curiosity, would literally glue his face to the car window and stare for a while whenever unfamiliar yet recognizable aspects of nature would unfold in front of us. I can still see vividly clear his cute and innocent gestures when sea water gushed out like a mist in between rough rocks where they say you can see the humpback whales, or when we met the so-called Fire bird* that, according to the local legend, brought fire to Hawaii. His voice full of awe and admiration is still there in the recording when during the interview a small bird flew in the terrace and he was so enthusiastically curious about it. The improvised brilliant moments before arranged directing, when he simply reacted to the Hawaiian nature around him the way his body and mind instinctively told him to, are caught on camera, too.

As we gradually moved towards the east side of the Waikiki Beach in a small bus; sun, fog, wind, and sudden showers quickly changed one another. Park Hyungsik was naturally committed to anything, as he gladly went into whatever was to come next. When he ignored the huge waves coming from afar, boldly dashed forward splashing around, and comfortably lied down on crunchy sand, I suddenly thought that this was in line with the way of life and the general attitude of this person, who has recently displayed a lot of commendable acting on TV. It was unstoppable and natural. That evening Park Hyungsik, dressed in an azure blue Hawaiian shirt with red flamingos, downed three or four lean champagne glasses full of wine. As he usually doesn’t eat anything before the shoot, that night he quickly emptied a large plate full of a mountain of pasta. With his cheeks moderately flushed, we were able to have an unintentional interview with drinks.

The flight from Seoul to Hawaii takes over 10 hours, how did you spend it? I watched all the movies I haven’t seen before. I almost had no chance to watch anything for a year because I filmed Hwarang for 6 months and Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon for 5 months. There were a lot of movies I missed in the cinema, so I watched three or four titles on the plane. I really like Jo Jung-suk’s sly acting so I watched My Annoying Brother, and also La La Land. Don’t you get goose bumps when you hear the melody of the OST that Ryan Gosling played on a piano? It’s not anything flashy, but it somehow brings a lump to your throat. I regretted I quit learning piano when I was younger. My mother is a piano teacher, and she would hit my hands whenever I made a mistake. Now when I think about it, there was not much to it, if I had swallowed it down, I would be able now to at least play chords on a keyboard (laughs).

I think you should be rather lighthearted lately. Didn’t the recently completed Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon smash all the previous JTBC dramas and break the viewership rating record? I heard you started out on this one with quite a lot of pressure and apprehension. At the first script reading, the director and the writer sat right next to me, and Park Boyoung sat at the table across from me, so I couldn’t just stay nervous. I think that not only the writer, but everyone must’ve been somewhat doubtful about me at first. No matter how you look at it, it was my first lead role, and there was no way they could’ve inspected me beforehand, so it is only natural if they felt that way. It first started with “You’ll do okay,” or “I think you’ll do fine.” But after the drama wrap-up party, we went to Bali all together and I was really touched when the writer told me “thank you.” It felt like she wrote the script knowing me very well, and it was a drama where I could bring out a lot of things hidden within me. “Ah, so this is acting! Up until now I’ve been only imitating things,” was what I thought. I was really happy going to the filming site, it was always exciting. “How much fun would it be today?” I felt like this. (laugh) Especially when we were lying on a sofa with Bongsoon (Park Boyoung), and I confessed with “Please look at me, please love me,” that moment it was just “me.”

When we check out the behind the scenes videos, the laughter is never ending. The chemistry between the actors was so good it was hard to say where ad-libs ended. And also, didn’t the main couple eventually realize their happiness in love? It spurred a mass of sweet hashtags like #PuppyCouple, #CherryBlossomKiss, #KissingMaster, and so on. It seems that for this drama, you’ve walked down the petal road, so are there any hardships that you could recall? There was a scene on the rooftop where I had to get in the right mood, imagining there was a bomb left next to the person I love. We had had filmed many other scenes by that time and my body was tired, so as I tried acting I could feel I was short of strength. We did the first take, but I was so angry with myself, I couldn’t catch the genuine emotion we wanted so bad. But director Lee Hyungmin understood how I felt. “You don’t like it? If you still feel like it’s not it, let’s keep on shooting,” he said and I answered “I think I have felt my limits. I apologize for lacking so much.” But the next day the director suggested we try shooting that scene from yesterday again. I was really surprised because we had such a packed schedule. The director really trusted me and cared for me. I am very thankful.

Actually, it feels like you have not been affected by the acting skills dispute that constantly follows idol actors. Didn’t favorable comments like “the discovery of Park Hyungsik” stack one by one after each drama from Nine, What Happens to My Family?, Heirs, to High Society and Hwarang? Thankfully, my personal character does not really know such concepts as “embarrassment” or “shame.” The same applies to the instances when I stand on stage or act. At first my roles were really short and fleeting cameos, and in 2012 I had small roles in dramas I Remember You and Dummy Mommy. I was really excited just to have several lines. I had my share of poor acting in the series you didn’t mention in your question, but not that many people have seen my performance there, so they don’t know. When you think of it, it’s a relief. (laugh)

I’ve heard that you usually diligently check malicious comments online, is there a reason to it? Sometimes really sharp comments appear in between the malicious ones. When I read a comment where someone realistically points out some negative aspect I have noticed myself, I get a reassurance that people also think like that. Then I try to fix that negative aspect. I think that one day I can also turn towards a road downhill. So I’m the type who whips himself on purpose. Because I want to be calm and composed even if I have to go through bad times.

I found a rare video on YouTube. Someone collected Park Hyungsik’s videos from the Baby Soldier days up until now and made a 6-minute edit of the evolution of your appearance. Even though you debuted when you were 19, it’s like your face has changed since then. When I started filming for High Society in 2015, I began to look at what I eat. Before that, I had always been on a TV with a bloated face (laugh). I ate only chicken breast and salad, and as I exercised my baby fat and the swelling disappeared at once. With a sharper jaw line and the absence of thick cheeks even my eyes seemed to have grown bigger. I was surprised, too. When I looked at what my faced used to be like, I couldn’t drop the maintenance myself ever since (laugh).

You have just recently nested in a new agency, UAA. I think there is a lot of interest and expectation regarding your next work. Is there a role you would like to try out? Lately it’s been my biggest concern. After having entered a new company, I think I’m at the crossroads, where I am wondering what should be my first choice for the next filming. What should I display? Shall I show what I am good at? Or shall I take a risk in a completely new challenge? I have always chosen the challenge before, but now there is fear and worry. However, I want to try out another challenge again. Eventually, wouldn’t I meet a character I would love? I want to try out a psychopath role or a bully character with an overflowing sense of macho. I always express a human being as “cosmos.” You don’t know what might come out of that person. There is a general frame, but there are a lot of different sides within one person, and I think that each them has a different category. Since it’s important how you snatch and draw it all out, I want to work with the people who can recognize my potential.

“I really yearn for such art and people who have different emotions and expressiveness, and use that to move, touch, and inspire others.”

I heard your blood type is AB. Don’t people have some sort of expectation (?) about this blood type? What kind of person is Park Hyungsik? Ahn Minhyuk’s character from Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon is somewhat similar to me in a way that we’re both simple human beings who don’t hold grudges and don’t take everything too seriously. I’m a bit odd of a person. I also have a lot of completely different sides. You might think I would be quiet, but if I go to some unfamiliar place, I will like even dangerous things, and I might have fun like crazy. (laugh) When we went to Bali this time, I enjoyed jet skiing, fly boarding and other sea sports to the point my entire body was aching. And I usually tend to imagine the most trivial things. I like fantasy and sc-fi, and if there’s a new game released, I don’t get satisfied until I download it all and try it out. I’m a game “otaku.” (laugh) I also enjoy reading webtoons, and there’s this webtoon “Rebirth Man” (부활남) among the pieces that I read. It’s an action noir manga with the premise where the main character definitely dies, but after three days he comes back to life over and over again. Wouldn’t it be interesting to make a TV series or a movie out of it? If that happens, I would love to play the lead. I also like the webtoon “Lookism,” but the writer Park Taejun has already mentioned in variety shows Park Bogum or Ahn Jaehong as the actors he would pick for the lead characters. So I gave up on that (laugh). The main character’s name is similar to mine, so I had a little hope. The name of that webtoon character is Park Hyungseok. (laugh)

How do you fill in the “occupation” box in the immigration card when you go abroad or when you register on a website? I just write down “artist.” Actually, if you say “artist,” you can’t know exactly what kind of work that person is doing. You don’t know if the person is drawing something or making music or anything else. I really yearn for such art and people who have different emotions and expressiveness, and use that to move, touch, and inspire others. Admiring a painting for a long while just looking at it, getting goose bumps by watching a musical, crying while watching a movie or listening to some music – I really like all these kinds of things, so I think that’s why I keep on pursing art.

Last winter, when Park Seojoon did an interview with Bazaar, he said this: “Hyungsik quite innocently says things like “Hyung! I love you!” I think he expresses his gratitude this way, but I was somewhat baffled at first. If he would say “I love you,” I would answer awkwardly “Eh? Uh-huh, me too.” How do you use the word “love?” My motto is that we should live loving each other. Ever since I was little I found it odd if people were curt and didn’t express their feelings well. Why don’t people say “I love you” often? I always say “I love you” to the people I like. I sometimes leave “I love you” messages in the Hwarang team’s chat room. And then the “Me too” replies start coming. The words “I love you” are contagious. If I start using this expression, the others also assimilate it little by little. Perhaps it’s because I grew in a home that was overflowing with love, but even up till now I can naturally say things like “Father, I love you. Hyung, I love you.”

Does that power of expression activate when you’re dating, too? Of course. I say it to the person I love a lot, too. If you don’t say it, no one can know what’s inside. (laugh)

What’s your ideal type like? Someone who gets along with me well. Someone who looks lovely no matter what they do, someone with whom a sweet conversation always continues. However, lately with the ideals growing bit by bit, my standards also needlessly keep on getting higher. I find people like Amanda Seyfried or Emma Stone very charming (laugh). Either way, I can also find my person if I go outside and meet other people, but I think it has come down to this because I only think and don’t do anything.

*Hawaiian gallinule

Scans: SIKARISMA

Kor-Eng: Egle0702

MAY BE TAKEN OUT WITH PROPER CREDITS!

[imogenrosemusi1142]

TULLARA tells it like it is.

TULLARA is one of Australia’s most exciting up-and-coming folk singer/songwriters. At 24, she is nearly a decade into a career journey that has garnered her acclaim across the folk festival circuit, taken her overseas to Ireland and Europe, and produced the EP Better Hold On.

Rose Callaghan - her drummer of the last 18 months - joins her on tour, as they talk about the artistry, business, and mental health of being a young working performer.

ROSE ~ You’re an incredible guitarist, how did you come to learn the instrument and how has it shaped your artistry? 

TULLARA ~ I started learning guitar when I was 13. My mother is a firm believer in musical influence. [There are] five kids in my family - I’m the youngest - and she made us all learn piano when we were younger. I went through year 7 without learning any [new] instrument, and she was like “alright, come on, you gotta pick something now ‘cause you need to be learning”. I was quite lucky with my [first guitar] teacher - he didn’t know too much about theory, but he played everything by ear, and so I’d take him a CD with my favourite songs on it and he’d listen to it and quickly learn it in a couple of minutes and teach it to me.

- Pretty unorthodox!

Right from the start [I] was learning how to use my ear, because I’d watch him do it and try the same thing at home.

•

Did you voice develop before or after?

I always mucked around. I didn’t really sing so much until I was maybe… 13? The singing sort of went hand in hand [with playing guitar]. I was 14 when I did my first music eisteddfod [a Welsh term for competitive events in the arts], and I won! [Mum asked my] sister’s old singing teacher “what do you think of her voice?” [and] she said “oh, it does need a bit of work, but god, can she play that guitar!” I was playing constantly. Mum talks about me following her around the farm, being like “listen to this/what do you think of this?”. [My] singing eventually got better as well… and then I started songwriting.

Was there a particular music scene that nurtured your early career, and how did you find your way into it?

I went to my first folk festival when I was 16, just as a punter. Then I went to Woodford Folk Festival, and that was life-changing. That’s when I was like, “wow, music is what I want to do”. I met John Butler at Woodford, who was [one of] my idols at the time. He signed my guitar! A month later I played at Tamworth Music Festival, and mum entered me in CCMA National Talent Competition… and I won overall. I got $1500, and then I bought my first banjo. That was a huge turning point as well… I guess the folk music scene was the first real eye opener…

- You always wanted to play banjo?

I can’t really remember what originally inspired me… I think it was the Beverly Hillbillies TV show!

•

So you’re a self managed/self promoting artist: had you been managing yourself before being selected to participate in The Seed in 2016? Did that program impact the way you manage yourself?

The Seed Fund aims to help Australian artists from any background, creating art and music across any genre, to establish themselves as self-sustained, professional artists.

Since I was 18, I was self-managing with my sister. We just naturally started doing that, [because] we had a band together called Siskin River. We quickly realised all we have to do is [contact] these venues and try and get a gig. From 2011-2015, I was co-managing with my sister. When I started my solo project, that’s when I had to 100% manage everything I was doing. I started doing that for just under a year before I applied for The Seed’. [It]’s really good in the way that it was very inspiring, and I got to meet a lot of other self-managed [artists]. It made me see things more globally.

Tullara and her sister Shalane as the duo Siskin River ~

”My songwriting’s moved from folk music to more pop/roots/rock sorta vibes, and that’s just me maturing in general”

Do you think it’s important to have an aesthetic in relation to musical presentation and self promotion? 

I think it’s important to have consistency in your image and how you present yourself. It’s interesting how some people will try and change your appearance because they don’t think it’s as cool as it could be… I’ve had some people suggest some things to me [like] “you should cut your dreadlocks off!”… because it’s a bit hippy and not mainstream enough. I always just try to be myself, but I’m making myself more presentable and neater [for the] mainstream, because I think that’s where my music has gone. My songwriting’s moved from folk music to more pop/roots/rock sorta vibes, and that’s just me maturing in general. Over time I’ve just tightened up my act and image a bit, because first impressions are 100% the most important thing in the music industry.

•

What do you find to be the main adversities that come with being a self-managed musician? 

When you don’t get the gigs that you’re trying to get. I can spend hours emailing venues or applying for festivals and I’ll get less than 10% of what I try for. It’s very time consuming, and there’s a lot of computer work, [so] instead of being creative, writing, and practicing, I’m spending the majority of my time on the computer. That’s something I struggled with last year. There’s [also] no minimum wage… it’s all so varied, especially with festivals and even pub shows. I’m learning now it’s almost what you ask for. it’s a bit of “smoke and mirrors”, but you never know [with that approach].

- The main positives? 

I just do whatever I want. I think about where I want to go/play. Having the control, having the freedom. And money-wise, 20% of what I earn isn’t going to a manager either.

Now, how do you feel the music industry has treated you, not only as a self-managed musician, but as a self managed female musician? 

Mostly positively… mostly. I’ve definitely had a few ups and downs with being female. I’ve been ripped off - only a couple of times - but they’ve taken advantage of the fact I’m a solo female. But that’s not as strong as, say, a band of four dudes that are like “give me my fucking money!” - and I’ve said that before!. You need to be stronger sometimes to get what you’re owed. But mostly I’ve had a pretty good experience.

Have you heard people say similar things to other female artists?

Other female artists have had more of a rough time than I have.

- but you’ve noticed the difference in attitudes towards women.

Absolutely, 100%. I’ll go into a music store and ask [a storeman] for gauge 13 strings, and he’ll be like “that’s a bit heavy, you’re probably after 10’s or 11’s” [exasperated sigh]. Have you seen me play?! Can I have the 13’s please? So music stores have always been like that. Every time I enter one, someone goes “hi sweetheart, what are you after?”, and they lead you to the ukuleles [laughs].

Tullara continues with a plethora of cringe-inducing music store anecdotes, in keeping with the theme of being infantilised by men simply for being a woman. It’s a peculiar insight into this section of the industry culture.

•

This is a big question: How has the musician lifestyle of touring, writing, and recording effected your well being and mental health? 

There’s ten seconds of nervous laughter, before she sighs into her response.

Ah geez, it’s not great. I’ definitely not the specimen of health. It’s interesting… with touring - pub shows, for instance - you’re often given lots of free alcohol, and that seems to go hand-in-hand with the music industry. Sometimes, they’ll say “we’ll give you [some small] money, but we’ll give you free drinks all night [to make up for said small amount]”. It’s often an incentive to make it worth it. So that has taken a toll on my health since 2011. It’s part of the culture. I don’t have a good diet, but that’s definitely what I want to change.

She mentions there’s been a push for venues to offer free food - as opposed to free alcohol - in an effort to encourage sobriety at festivals.

-It’s not only physically, but mentally draining.

[Mmm]. The travel is definitely hard work, and I’ve done some crazy shit over the last year with it. Things like 10 flights within 7 days… and driving for hours on my own…. it’s a lot nicer when you’re touring with people, so I try to do that now whenever I can, because I want to have company, and it makes touring a lot easier. You need a lot more discipline when you’re on your own.

What are some things you do to make sure you look after your mental health while also trying to keep up with the demanding work load of self management? How do you not ‘burn out’? Any tips?

Try to plan a tour in a way that isn’t going to burn you out. I still find myself making that mistake… I’ll make sure I go to bed at a reasonable hour.

- So give yourself time, sleep!

Sleep is an important one - because if you’re not sleeping well, then by a week into the tour you’re gonna be shattered, and it will take a toll on your performance… your voice is one of the first things to go when you’re tired. Giving yourself a couple of days off [during] long tours is very important. It can get a little bit stressful… and even for your band members. I remember a drummer I had once who was like “it would have been nicer to have a couple of days off to explore this town I’ve never been to”. You gotta have fun! If you’re not having fun, what’s the point in doing it? Try and constantly learn something new… challenge yourself, and get better. That’s something I try and do, just learn new songs every now and then.

•

What is the highlight performance of your career so far? 

Aww, I like that [question]! Probably opening for The Waifs in Grafton at the Saraton Theatre. It was in my home town, in this heritage-listed theatre that seats nearly 1,000 people, and it’s just incredible opening for my teenaged-absolute-most-favourite band. And they got me up on stage with them for their last song!

Do you have any tips for how to cope with performance nerves/ anxiety?

I don’t get nervous so much anymore, if anything I crave nerves now! Make sure you’re prepared. Embrace the nerves!

What are your 3 favourite artists right now? 

You know my number 1! [laughs] Tay-Tay, I do absolutely love Taylor Swift. Number 2? Wallis Bird. 3… I feel like Electric Fields.

What’s next for you? You mentioned a big album!

I’ll be releasing my debut album later this year! Very exciting. It’s been a very long process. I’m going to Canada to finish it, [and I’ve] never been to Canada!

Any upcoming gigs?

Lots of gigs around NSW and Queensland, and the Woodford Planting Festival. Apparently you get to take home a tree! ☆

Tullara’s music can be found on all good digital streaming platforms, and through her official website.

[nolimitsongrace]

January 12: Abstain From All Appearance of Evil

Abstain From All Appearance of EvilJanuary 12, 2020

Abstain from all appearance of evil. — 1 Thessalonians 5:22

When I was getting started in the ministry, God blessed me with an opportunity to serve as associate pastor to an older man of God who taught me many important principles for my life and ministry. One of the most important principles he taught me — one that I now require of every leader who works in our ministry — is the necessity of abstaining from all appearance of evil.

When I first heard this pastor’s rules, I thought they were a little overboard. For instance, men on the pastoral staff could not meet alone with members of the opposite sex, counsel a woman alone behind closed doors, or ride alone in a car with a woman other than one’s wife. I thought these types of rules made life very inconvenient. But the pastor was very strong on never doing anything that gave a wrong impression or that opened a door for criticism or accusation.

I’ve been in the ministry many years and know of numerous times when pastors were accused of inappropriate behavior. The behavior was sometimes real and at other times imagined, but the opportunity for accusation was almost always the result of carelessness in keeping certain boundaries. So I now agree wholeheartedly that there is great wisdom in adhering to restrictions like the ones my senior pastor required in my early days of ministry. By taking this cautious approach, men and women of God are able to steer clear of insinuations and accusations. This, however, should apply not only to ministers of the Gospel, but to every believer who cares about the integrity of his or her witness.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

The verse that my senior pastor used as the basis for his rules, and the verse I use in my own ministry to provide guidance to our team on such issues, was First Thessalonians 5:22. In this verse, the apostle Paul wrote, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” Today I would like for us to take a deeper look to see what we can learn from this key verse in the Word of God.

Paul began by saying, “Abstain.…” The word “abstain” is from the Greek word apecho. This word means to deliberately withdraw from; to stay away from; to put distance between oneself and something else; or to intentionally abstain. The word apecho is also used in First Peter 2:11, where Peter wrote, “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.” In this case, the word “abstain” — apecho — means to deliberately refrain from something; hence, it could be translated, “…I urge you to refrain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.” The implication is that believers should put distance between themselves and temptations of the flesh and soul.

There are other examples of the word apecho in the New Testament that also demonstrate how this word depicts some type of distance between objects. For example:

In Luke 7:6, the word apecho is used to describe the physical distance between Jesus and the house of the centurion.

In Matthew 15:8 and Mark 7:6, the word apecho is used to describe human hearts that are hardened and therefore distant and far from God.

In Acts 15:20, the word apecho is used when James, the leader of the Jerusalem church, gave instructions that the new Gentile believers should abstain from food offered to idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals, and from the consumption of raw blood. In that verse, the word apecho is so strong that it makes a demand on the new Gentile believers to withdraw from and permanently terminate their contact with these things. It is actually a command to refrain, to desist, to discontinue, and to terminate any further contact with them, and it calls for a permanent halt to the practice of allowing such contact.

Keeping this in mind, we know that when Paul told us, “Abstain from all appearance of evil,” he was strongly urging you and me to put distance between ourselves and any appearance of evil. This Greek word apecho demands that we do not allow even the smallest hint of inappropriate behavior or any act that could be misinterpreted or viewed as being immoral or unethical. There is no doubt about it — the word apecho calls for extreme caution and vigilance.

The word “from” is the Greek word apo, which means away. However, because the word apecho had already been used, meaning to put distance between yourself and some other thing, it means the word apo was really not needed — unless Paul intended to place very strong emphasis on this point. By adding the word apo, it makes the point abundantly clear that believers should not only put distance between themselves and what is obviously evil, but they must also put a great deal of distance between themselves and whatever fits this description, even in appearance.

The word “appearance” is the Greek is eidos, a word that is only used five times in the New Testament, but depicts an outward form, visible appearance, a likeness, or a resemblance of something. Therefore, Paul was telling us, “It doesn’t matter what you think or what you know to be true; what matters is what appears to be true in the eyes of others.” Even if there is a small chance that someone may mistake your actions as evil or if what you do even resembles something evil or wrong, you need to stay as far away from it as you possibly can.

What makes this even more serious is the fact that this word “evil,” the Greek word poneros, is often used in the Greek Septuagint version of the Old Testament to describe actions that are ultimately damaging to a person’s testimony and reputation (see Deuteronomy 22:14). There is no doubt that Paul was telling us that we must do everything in our ability to put a lot of distance between ourselves and anything that would bring harm or injury to our reputation or to our godly witness in front of other people.

Think about it! How many people do you know who did something that they “thought” was all right to do — but other people saw their action and misinterpreted it, and as a result, it stained their reputation? I’m talking about situations like pastors being accused of immoral behavior because they had close contact with a member of the opposite sex who wasn’t their spouse. Maybe nothing wrong occurred, but what people saw resembled something bad, and the pastor was therefore falsely accused. This is why it is a good rule never to counsel a member of the opposite sex alone! By using common sense and refraining from ever being in such a situation where you could be accused, you have put distance between yourself and potential accusations.

Have you ever heard a rumor about a preacher who wrongly used money that was intended for the work of the ministry? The truth may be that the minister never did anything wrong at all with those funds, but because his actions gave a wrong impression to people who were watching, what he did resulted in a damaged testimony. Preachers can avoid these types of accusations by determining never to touch ministry funds personally and by establishing a bookkeeping system that demands accountability. Just by using common sense and choosing to refrain from activities that might give a mistaken impression, those in the ministry can put great distance between themselves and suspicious-looking situations. In so doing, there will never be room for accusation that they misuse ministry funds or participate in any questionable activity or behavior.

As I said, this principle of refraining from every appearance of evil isn’t pertinent only to ministers. It applies to every believer who wants to maintain a godly reputation. The fact is, if your testimony in the eyes of others is important to you, you must make the decision to withdraw from, refrain from, desist from, discontinue, and permanently terminate any action that gives the appearance of evil. Although this may require a new set of rules for your life, you will be taking vital steps toward preserving your testimony and godly reputation.

How much is your reputation — and the reputation of the Holy One you represent — worth to you? If you want to maintain a good name and testimony in front of others, you must refrain from any action, language, or contact that gives the appearance of evil. And this is not just my suggestion — it is the commandment of God found in First Thessalonians 5:22.

By understanding the Greek words in this verse, we can interpret First Thessalonians 5:22 to read:

“You need to terminate contact with any place, action, language, or relationship that gives people the impression that you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t matter what you think is acceptable; what matters is what other people perceive. So put a great deal of distance between yourself and anything you are doing that people could misinterpret and that could thereby stain your reputation.”

So many people have forfeited their testimony because they didn’t use their heads and think about how their actions might be perceived by others! Perception is often reality in the eye of the beholder.

Even if you know that you’re doing nothing wrong at all, the fact remains that people don’t see your heart — they see your actions. If they see you do something that appears immoral or unethical, you will likely be judged by what they perceive.

If you’re like me, your highest desire is to glorify Jesus in this life in all you say and do. That’s why our hearts can agree with what Paul says in this verse — that it’s always best to “abstain from all appearance of evil” because we are His representatives on this earth!

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Lord, I understand that Your Word commands me to break off and desist from doing anything that would give the impression of evil to people who are looking at my life from the outside. Today I have a new and a fuller realization of the great impact my actions can have on my reputation and on other people. Please forgive me for doing things that could be misconstrued, misunderstood, or misinterpreted. I am truly sorry. Help me today to put safeguards in my life that will help me to abstain from all appearances of evil from this point forward.

I pray this in Jesus’ name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I confess that I use common sense in the way that I conduct my life. I am thoughtful about my actions; I am careful to remember that people are watching me; and I am led by the Holy Spirit in how I conduct my life. Because I want to maintain a godly reputation, I care about what people think of me. I will not do anything that would cast a shadow on Jesus’ name, my name, or my testimony as a child of God. With God’s help, I will live a life that is free of accusation!

I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Have you ever known someone who stained his testimony because contact with a place, action, language, or relationship gave people the impression that he or she was doing something inappropriate?

As you look back on that particular situation now, what steps could that person have taken to circumvent the accusations and charges that were brought against him or her?

Are there any areas or actions in your life right now that others might perceive to be questionable? Be honest with yourself! What are those areas, and what steps should you begin to take to put distance between yourself and future accusation?

[typingoutthoughts]

To Be A Man Ruins A Man

Originally Written On 20/JUN/2018 

As I watch with my eyes glued to the laptop, I find myself fascinated by the masculine persona of fictional men. Fascinated by how they handle their fictitious mishaps: like womanizers, machos, and stoics — like an ideal man.

However, this ideal man is just a normalized and toxic fantasy that all men are compared to. A fantasy that compels young men to wear tough guises and manifest sexist behaviour. A fantasy that urges young men to fulfill self-destructive gender roles in their communities. A fantasy that, when followed through, can result in frightening real life consequences.

If we are to understand how toxic masculinity has slithered its way into our societies and communities, we have to know about the cliched aspects of manhood, as portrayed by the media. How they distort the minds of today’s men and create a lonely, macho man culture.

As entertainment media developed over time, it created and continually sustained the ideas and beliefs we normally associate with what it means to be masculine and a man. Therefore, the stories that the media tell men has resulted in the creation of influential myths of manhood. Myths of amorous men who woo women, stoic men who refuse to reveal even a slight of emotion, or macho men who fight their problems away.

Through these myths, entertainment media inspires men to live up to them. Restricting themselves to a narrow, clear-cut, and vigilantly enforced expression of masculinity. An expression of strength, confidence, and sexiness is what makes a man. Whoever cannot fit this expression is a “girlie” or some other emasculating slur. Consequently, these myths police the behaviors of men that are accepted by society. Take our most beloved Hollywood male protagonists as an example. Hollywood chooses to portray these men with the same manhood myth. They are the ones who take charge, protect the people, and participate in society.

A clear example that comes to mind is Conan The Barbarian, especially when he talks about what is best in life. "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!" Various characters played by John Wayne are another example of ideal men as Wayne's characters dole out manly advice that reaffirm traditional masculine beliefs. “Nobody ever saw a cowboy on the psychiatrist’s couch.” On the other hand, notice how the media characterize men we would not regard as manly. For instance, in Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade, Jones dismisses his father's masculinity by taking them down a peg to feel more secure in his own masculinity. "He never would've made it past the rats. He hates rats. He's scared to death of them." To add on, when men are portrayed as nerds or in "the opposite spectrum of ideal masculinity", they are often bullied or shunned by more manly men. Some of the television shows and films that have exemplified this thinking include Freaks And Geeks, It, Stranger Things, and much more.

Why is this? According to media theorist, Will Wright, these are the myths we tell ourselves, interpreting truth we can apply towards culture and society. "Myths are a communication from a society to its members: the social concepts, and attitudes determined by the history and institutions of a society are communicated to its members." As a result, this expression of manliness not only serves as the cornerstone of “real” manhood, but also serves as an expectation set by society and influenced by the media.

However, this idea of a real man puts a lot of men in jeopardy, specifically young and adolescent boys who are trying to understand manhood in their own terms. We provide boys the educational tools to teach them about living in a male culture, via these media myths that we create for them. A culture that teaches boys that they should act alone, to repress your emotions, and act out in aggression. After all, these cultural myths are the media stories of men that we indoctrinate our future generations with, ensuring the myth lives on in our society.

By using our manhood myths as building blocks for masculinity in society, we misrepresent other kinds of men who do not fit this narrow-minded fantasy. As stated in a recent Acumen report undertaken by Break Media CEO, Keith Richman, men believe that the media has given them a false and misleading account of the nature of masculinity. According to queries from 2,000 males, “the media industry has tended to characterize men as macho guys, skirt chasers, and inept at parenting and relationships. While this may have historically been true, what [the] results showed is that these characterizations are not reflecting the behavior and aspirations of today’s men”. Consequently, a rift exists between today’s men and our myths of manhood as people and the media are divided on what kind of men we need. The characterization of these ideal men only isolates and distresses us because of the fact that we can never be like these men. Unfortunately, since the media is still depicting this portrayal of men, it creates a powerful stereotype that confines men into living an impossible fantasy we do not want to live. Why? Who in the world wants to live as an emotionless man that womanizes women so much, to the point that they do not know how to handle relational and emotional issues?

Thus, this manly archetype can lead towards a nightmarish society, and harmful psychological effects on men. An archetype that poisons male individuals to live by the mantra, “boys will be boys”, subsequently creating a culture where men are not held accountable for their actions. After all, any mischievous behaviours are justified as characteristics that contribute to their masculinity.

Since the media have a facile influence on men, they can be indoctrinated with the misogynistic views and the predatory thinking of their masculine icons when men and young boys idolize the manhood myth. Myths of men who partake in sexual prowess and men who commit acts of savagery. To prove my point, an international study, regarding “Media And The Make-Believe Worlds Of Boys And Girls”, shows how traces of media has impacted the minds and imagination of boys. How they are consuming media content, assimilating it in their imaginations, and then “taking the story further. Dreaming themselves into the position of their heroes and experience a story similar to the one in the original medium.” Hence, the media can become a tool to nurture a lonely, machismo culture in our society through male protagonists, hero-worshipped and respected by men. According to masculinity educator, Jackson Katz, "one of the most important places [men] learn [masculine ideals] is the powerful and pervasive media system. Which provides a steady stream of images that define manhood as connected with dominance, power, and control.”

One of the traits that has been persistently represented in men is them putting on a stoic facade that repress the emotions within them. Why? Because they are afraid of being a punchline of an emasculating remark, or being called out as “gay” or “girlie”. Hence, men are perceived as too frightened of being bullied for feminine emotions that might make their hearts warm. This in turn means men choose to be chronically apathetic, while their unexpressed and repressed emotions begin to simmer beneath their facade.

A telling example of this lonely stoicness depicted in our men can be seen in our Hollywood and gaming action heroes, in characters such as, James Bond and Duke Nukem. What these characters depict is someone who hides behind a stoic mask, for the sake of showing strength towards others because emotions are a sign of weakness. This thereby allows them to sacrifice their own emotional intelligence and wellbeing. Note how Bond does not even smile or reveal his feelings to anyone in James Bond movies. Instead, he is calm and commanding in the actions he takes. In the opening of Casino Royale, he does not grieve or stress out when he drowns a goon in a bathroom sink. Boys would aspire to be this way because, like James Bond and Duke Nukem, it lets them feel invincible in tough or painful situations through forcefully shoving their vulnerabilities down their throats.

However, by having men hide their emotions, it can damage their social and emotional well-being. As stated in an article reported by the Irish Times, Caroline Dinenage (British Minister Of Health) argues that “there are risks, particularly for those who are vulnerable or isolated and these messages can be particularly toxic for men suffering mental health issues. We have heard a lot today about male suicide, and our national suicide prevention strategy highlights men as a high risk group for what is perhaps the ultimate expression of despair, disconnection and aggression turned inwards.”

To elaborate, it makes it almost impossible for men to open up to one another and care for one another. This in turn makes it difficult to build meaningful relationships with these stoic men. They struggle to create intimate friendships without the fear of being perceived as homosexual or effeminate. Instead, men are obliged to detach themselves from their emotional sensitivity. To act strong without weakness, just so they can meet the expectations of manhood set by a machismo culture.

In interviews from several young men in the documentary, The Mask You Live In, boys struggle with emotional and relationship issues. "In good times, guys are like really close to each other. But when things get a little bit worse, you're on your own.” Another interview from the documentary details how "[he] struggles finding people [he] can talk to about things because [he] feels like he has to deal with [himself] – [he] is not supposed to get help." To quote psychologist and educator, Dr. Niobe Way: "you hear boys are actually talking about their struggles in their friendships, being hurt by other boys, feeling betrayed by other boys. Wanting to have intimate friendships, not knowing how to find those friendships."

Through having men hide their emotions from others, they are also hiding their own feelings from themselves by denying or ignoring them entirely. Unfortunately, this puts men in an emotionally isolated position where they cannot be vulnerable to anyone, making them feel discouraged to seek mental help and support. In a research article undertaken by ABC health, men have been three times more likely to kill themselves than women. Additionally, only 27% of men with anxiety and mental health issues seek professional help. An infographic from Mental Health America shows men are less likely to seek help due to social norms, a reluctance to talk, and/or downplaying symptoms. Men suffering from depression are more likely to report fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in hobbies, rather than feelings of sadness or worthlessness. Hence, it creates an epidemic of desolation and loneliness since they have become uncomfortable with their emotions and less aware about their mental state.

Another masculine trait historically seen in men in the media is their obsessive need for dominance and control, through aggression and sexual prowess. This form of masculinity in men is known for exhibiting fears of emasculation, so they must sustain their masculine reputation through misogyny and being belligerent. Thus, men are often portrayed in action/romance-oriented roles that demand them to fight or flirt their way out of their problems.

To illustrate, men refuse to take “no” for an answer in their pursuit of the women when it comes to romance in Hollywood media. When men coerce, manipulate and stalk women to charm them, they are nevertheless depicted as romantic and admirable. For example, when Leia and Han Solo first kissed in “The Empire Strikes Back”, Leia initially refused, but Han ignored her verbal and nonverbal cues and kissed her anyway. Similarly, the movie, “Spectre”, shows James Bond forcing himself onto a widow just after he killed the widow’s husband, seducing her with her back against the wall. Chris Pratt’s character, in the film “Passengers”, decides to wake up a sleeping woman from hibernation out of obsession, thereby trapping her on a spaceship with him for the rest of her life.

In the video game industry, this masculine trait still remains today as more of our video games refuse to let go of this confining image of masculinity. Video games like Assassin’s Creed, Grand Theft Auto, and Call Of Duty normalize violence as the only way to solve our problems and find solutions. After all, how else can a gamer progress to the next level, gain experience points, or improve their skills and equipment? To prove my point in the words of psychologist and educator, Dr. Philip Zimbardo: "you habituate to the sameness. The video game companies know this, and they are giving you endless variety: a new category, a new challenge, they are creating this arousal addiction…Boys' brains are being digitally wired to this technology. The ones that are most addictive are the most violent, where your job is to destroy the enemy. To dominate."

What these cases show is how the media not only reflects our culture, but also simultaneously shape it. “Whether we want to admit it or not, we all learn a lot about the world around us (and what society expects of us) from the films and television shows we consume” (Jonathan McIntosh, writer and cultural critic). By having boys and men be exposed to this make-believe fantasy of manhood, it only further justifies any mischievous and antisocial behaviour as habitual. In other words, the media have normalized the idea of sexism and violence. Entrenching it in our social lives, to the point that it has become something we expect in our societal cultures.  These statistics – from the documentary, Tough Guise 2 – of men, causing violent and sexual acts only exemplifies my point. 86% of armed robberies are committed by men. 77% of aggravated assaults are committed by men. 87% of stalkers are men. 86% of domestic violence incidents resulting in physical injury are perpetrated by men. 99% of reported rapes are committed by men. Men commit approximately 90% of murder. Over the past 30 years, 61 of the last 62 mass shootings have been committed by men.

The point is that our current perceptions of ideal masculinity are negatively warping the minds of men. Whenever we regard toxic masculine behaviours as inconsequential in our current landscape, we are only nurturing and promoting these behaviors in our society. We are affirming the self-destructive gender roles that men play in our society when we create macho propaganda in our media, subsequently contributing in encouraging and strengthening others to idolize this dangerous, unrealistic fantasy of manhood. This sends the message to our men in our society that it is okay to sexually harass women because men know women want it – even if it feeds a womanizing culture. That it is okay to be emotionally illiterate because showing emotion is a sign of weakness – even if it makes men emotionally conflicted. That it is okay to bully effeminate men because we are only teaching them to “be a man” – even if it damages their mental health. If we are to end toxic masculinity, we must change society’s perception of masculinity.

It is time to change the paradigm of people’s masculine views, for the sake of redefining a positive and healthy form of masculinity. As such, we can foster a culture of love and kindness among men, allowing them to find a place of belonging in their homes, workplaces, and classrooms. If we are to create a culture that lets men freely express themselves, we must invest in ideas and ethical solutions that confront and challenge the media’s outdated myths on manhood.

To foster honest, emotional, and positive aspects in men at a local level, we must integrate feminine-like thinking and behavior in the minds of young boys. Re-educating our men about what it means to be a man in our classrooms and our homes. An example of this masculine re-education can be seen in the monthly support group, Heart Of A Man. According to Global News, it is “for men from all walks of life where they can voice their feelings, cry without judgment and build each other up." In another instance, feminist actor, Justin Baldoni, speaks in a TED talk about his own challenges with coming into terms with his own manhood. "I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself… Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? To reach out to another man when you need help? To dive headfirst into your shame? Are you strong enough to be sensitive, to cry whether you’re hurting or you’re happy, even if it makes you look weak?"

Through redefining the masculine perception, we can enhance men’s relationships and family life since we have taught them to open up about their problems with other people. Teaching them that it is okay to feel and express yourself. Therefore, we can encourage men to break down traditional gender stereotypes and archetypes, uplifting them to be strong and confident in embracing “traditionally feminine" roles. From there, we can create communities that develop positive male role models for the generations to come, via the destruction of the manhood myths that came before. Ensuing a new status quo that welcomes boys and men in an accepting society.

However, what we need most are media messages in our advertising and our entertainment, which portray men for being loving and empathetic. A good instance of this in our entertainment media can be seen in Newt Scamander, the male protagonist of Fantastic Beast And Where To Find Them. Unlike the confident, romantic, and ferocious Hollywood hero, Newt represents a vulnerable, empathetic, but quietly confident form of manhood. To demonstrate, look no further than the scene in which Newt takes care of a newborn beast like a mother. Soothing them by saying, “mum’s here. Mum’s here.” In times of peril, Newt’s actions and choices are guided by his empathy. "I'm here to help you, Credence. I'm not here to hurt you." Thus, heroes, like Newt, who normalize less manly traits can make men feel empowered to be empathetic and open up about their vulnerabilities, emotions, and concerns. In doing so, this representation of men makes them feel less ashamed of their effeminate masculinity because it is portrayed in a positive light.

Finally, we must also demand media influencers and leaders that should be held accountable for our manly culture. To achieve this, we have to ensure that these male influencers cannot get away with toxic behaviours, such as: cheating, dishonesty, disrespect, and narcissism. They are the ones who are seen by men and boys as icons or ideals of manhood. Whatever values and traditions these influencers and leaders believe in, others will follow their lead. If we want our men to be better, we have to let them know that their actions have consequences. Justin Trudeau is a notable exemplar of this positive influence on manhood, as he leads by example on what kind of men we can be. “To raise our kids feminist is to recognize that they all have a part to play to build that world. To raise our kids feminist is to honor their future, because they have the responsibility to shape it for the better.” Terry Crews is another positive male role model, who is recognized as a feminist icon in the #MeToo movement, for his attempts to redefine masculinity. "I've been called a pussy, been told ‘all your muscles are good for nothing.’ But the question isn't ‘how strong are you?’ It's ‘what is the real enemy here?’ The process of being deprogrammed is eye-opening. Once you call yourself on your bullshit, you start seeing it everywhere.”

By holding men accountable, we shame and punish men of their toxic virility, making it aware that their behavior is not a rite of passage to manhood. Alternatively, we can encourage men with power and influence to be good role models towards other men. Ones who uphold beliefs of gender equality, emotional expression, and civilized thinking. Otherwise, they are only feeding towards a poisonous masculine culture.

If we take the time to challenge our masculine identity and what it means to be a man, we can create open and honest conversations that allow men to feel supported, guided, and respected by others. Hopefully, we can create a new manhood myth that can create better fathers, better sons, better boyfriends, better husbands — better men.

[kurrent-news-blog]

K-Pop Life Struggles: The Lack of R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Writer: Libby Mokrosova

“It’s three in the morning”

“So?”

“Why are you still up?”

Tickets. Exclusive merch. A music video. A debut stage. Streaming for the charts. Award show. Organizing a fan event. Live chat. Pick your poison.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This K-Pop Life isn’t easy – especially as an international fan facing a thirteen-hour time difference. Sleep becomes unnecessary when we’re fueled with sheer adrenaline from seeing our biases on the screen or from snagging that exclusive copy of that album that will never go back into print again. And yes, we can all agree we’re maybe just a bit in the wrong for going so above and beyond for our favorite artists, but after years of finally feeling accepted into a globally close-knit community of like-minded people, a bit of sleep and sanity can surely be spared.

When talking to anyone genuinely invested in a K-Pop group (or more than just one, let’s be real), they’ll quickly tell you about all of the amazing parts there are to being a fan. But upon closer inspection and a few peeled layers, some real issues tend to crop up. Often times, a major lack of sleep and therefore lack of energy for the day ahead is commonplace. Also extremely common is the occurrence of drained savings accounts, whether it be for travel to another state or even country for a concert, or just from buying every version of every single album ever (plus all of the shipping fees). And then of course not knowing what people are saying when shows go live or when a new episode with your favorite idol comes out without any subs. But the real struggle? Well, that’s the lack of respect we get to begin with.

It’s no secret that Korean entertainment companies need to chart well within their own countries before venturing overseas. Favoritism must be placed on the local fans that can more readily attend events, fill seats, and be marketed to on a grander scale. To further the point, it’s not necessarily the case that entertainment companies see the presence of an international fan base as a sign of “we made it, now no one can deny our group is talented”, because honestly, they don’t need our opinion or validation and we’re not the end all be all. If the Korean audience likes a group and the fandom grows naturally within the country, that’s all the companies truly need- hence the international fans being more an afterthought and additional income than anything else. As a side effect, we’re often faced with a lack of respect, lack of care, and lack of communication.

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Knowing we’ve all gone through this at one point or another, I felt compelled to release my frustrations into a story-time for all you beloved Kurrent News readers. Without naming any group in particular (since I do not believe it was explicitly their fault), I will say that the following instance occurred because of a lack of forethought from a Big-3 company and one of their major suppliers. The story is as follows:

An extremely limited run of a piece of merchandise that was previously only available to fans who attended a concert in Korea or Japan was announced to be available at 3 PM KST within a few days. Gearing up for this, I forced myself to stay awake to get my hands on this piece of pure gold. My brain was in a tizzy; I was so overcome with joy that I would be able to call this piece of an extremely limited release of music my very own that I entered into a heavy and blinding haze of love and happiness.

Here are a few things I missed right off the bat:

-For starters, why was this rare gem (which was also never going to be digitally available, only physical copies were made) only offered to fans who could make it out to a show in Korea and Japan anyways? Why was I to be giddy with excitement that I was finally thought about only after so many complaints from international fans who couldn’t afford to go or just couldn’t go because, you know, life happens and people have jobs and obligations at home? Why were we an afterthought even though we would have enjoyed owning something so special just as much as a fan with close proximity to the group?

-Secondly, 3 PM KST? For me, that was two in the morning on a Sunday. That’s the day I need the most sleep so that I can actually function at work the next day. Who came up with releasing this in the middle of the day in Korea when this release was specifically made for fans who most likely have a completely different time zone (and therefore have to stay up very late or wake up very early to meet this timeframe)? I would understand if this was for a Korean release…but this was literally made for the international fans who weren’t able to get it in person.

Moving on with the story, after grueling hours of trying to keep myself occupied and buzzed on caffeine to stay awake after an already exhausting day, I refreshed the link provided to us international fans only to find that the supplier had not yet listed the item for sale. In fact, it was nowhere to be found on the website at all (or the other two listed for fans from countries other than the USA). “Okay, cool, they just need a few more minutes, maybe something crashed”, I thought to myself. Five, ten, twenty, THIRTY minutes pass with nothing. I could feel my soul leaving my body with every tug at my eye to stay open just a bit longer. After checking all official social media accounts to see if anything had gone awry and seeing nothing, I headed to a fan page on Facebook to find a filled comment section of people all across the globe being just as confused and frustrated as I was. Where was the limited release we all stayed up for? Why was no new time relayed to us? Will we even be getting this on the day it was promised? We were lost and sleepy- a true online hoard of zombies who had been drained of all emotion. Finally, after over an entire hour later of being in the complete darkness (figuratively but also very literally), it was released…. for twice as much the amount than it was available for on Gmarket. And let me tell you, Gmarket was definitely not on the list of links we were given for this release. So, okay, Big-3 company, you want to play it like this. Suddenly, the haze dissipated, and I was seeing clearer than ever.

-International fans were ripped off. The cost on Gmarket was less even when including the cost of shipping.

-The Big-3 company took advantage of this knowing fair well that we didn’t have much of a choice in the matter and that if we really wanted this, we would have to get it through them to ensure safe, on-time delivery.

-I also realized at this point that uhh… we were never told the price this would be sold at. If I had seen that price point earlier, I wouldn’t have drug myself through the mud for this cause ya girl couldn’t afford that, to begin with. And it’s not like this would ever go on sale since it was such a limited run and would be sold out quickly.

-There was no apology for the oversight, lateness, lack of communication or anything else. Ever.

I collected my losses, slammed my laptop shut, and went to sleep (I mean nap). The morning after was a true test of endurance and appetite for bitter strong coffee.

So what did that experience teach me? Honestly, not much. I’ll probably do something like this again or worse. [“Married to the Music” by SHINee plays in the distance]

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But at least I’m not alone. If you’re still here, dear reader, let me entertain you with some more relatable experiences from my fellow K-Pop life friends:

“Having to stay up or wake up at 5 AM to catch live streams and album releases”

“Paying $50 EMS shipping for $5 photocards/stickers, or paying less in shipping and having to wait 2 months for my album to come”

“The first time SHINee came to the US for their fan meet in Chicago, I took a one-day trip to the venue a week before my finals because I didn’t know the next time I’d be able to see them.”

“Buying an iPod solely to buy a MelOn pass so that I could properly support my faves on the Korean charts and also using it to help other fans buy MelOn passes to do the same”

“When SNSD released “The Boys”, the English version was MIA in America. I don’t think they ever officially released the English version for America either, I think it can still be viewed through reuploads” (This was fact checked because I remembered watching it so vividly, but it’s true- the MV was never actually officially released by SM! Mind blown.)

“Back when I was a hardcore Angel, I was super duper excited to hear Chunji’s voice for the song “Wolf is Stupid”. In the album version, his part comes at the very end is beautiful, but in the MV, the title contains “feat. Chunji of Teen Top” but his part was completely cut out.

“I remember back in the day, my cousins and I tried staying up/waking up really early to apply to be featured on an episode of “After School Club” with C-Clown or Teen Top but we eventually gave up because whenever the wifi didn’t work on the show, it got really awkward for the hosts, the idols, and for the fans – so we weren’t about that first or second-hand embarrassment life”.

[PHOTO SOURCE]

[alexrascanu]

How to Reach Your Potential: An Interview with Hamza Khan

Hamza Khan is taking part in "How to Reach Your Potential,” a series of 100 interviews with leaders who inspire Alex Rascanu and whose insights can help you reach your potential. 

Meet Hamza Hamza Khan is a multi-award winning marketer & entrepreneur. He’s the co-founder of both Splash Effect, a boutique marketing & creative agency, as well as SkillsCamp, a soft skills training company. Hamza has spoken at more than 50 events (including 2 TEDx events) across 15 cities and 8 countries, to more than 15,000 people. He is a faculty member at Seneca College and Ryerson University, teaching courses on digital marketing and social media. Through his consulting, writing, teaching and speaking, Hamza empowers people and businesses to transform ideas into reality. Learn more about Hamza at www.hamzakhan.ca. Buy his book The Burnout Gamble. And follow his adventures on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and/or Facebook.

Alex: What is your life’s purpose? Hamza: My purpose in life is to give my gift away. And I feel lucky to have discovered this gift quite early on in life: to empower people and businesses to transform ideas into reality. I achieve this primarily through my consulting, writing, teaching, and speaking.

Alex: What are the three things you’re most passionate about? Hamza: It’s difficult for me to narrow down the things that I’m most passionate to a selection of three, as my list is constantly growing. But as at the time of writing, I’m preoccupied with marketing, productivity, and social media. I could talk for hours on end about these things. And when they overlap (which they often do), I could go on for days.

Alex: How do you stay healthy? What’s your main health-related goal? Hamza: Staying healthy comes down having respect for my body. As a guiding principle, that means doing things today that my future self will thank me for. This includes a number of daily imperative actions such as following through on a challenging fitness routine, eating a balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, and getting a good night’s sleep. My main health-related goal is to optimize my energy. While the time afforded to me is fixed (like everyone else, I have the same 168 hours in a week) — the energy that I can generate within that time is not. And when I’m healthy, I can multiply my success in all aspects of life.

Alex: How do you build wealth? What’s your main financial goal? Hamza: I build wealth by putting money to work through a diverse portfolio of investments: currencies, stocks, equity, mutual funds, etc. Almost 80% of my earnings are immediately invested in these areas. And while my wealth is generating more wealth, I’m focused on increasing my earning potential by improving my craft, broadening my reach, and delivering value to every person in my orbit. I’m a big believer in Zig Ziglar’s words: “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” With that said, my main financial goal is to achieve freedom — freedom from debt, freedom from worry, freedom from constraints, etc. I don’t quite desire to be rich. I simply desire to never be poor.

Alex: How do you balance work and family life? Hamza: As someone who has burned out in spectacular fashion multiple times in my career, I’ve had to learn the hard way the importance of slapping constraints on my productivity. I make time for my family life by clearly defining when to stop working. At the start of any project I establish an end state that looks like one or more of the following:

TIME-BASED DASH: I stop working when the clock stops. For instance, my workouts never exceed an hour. And so if I’m idly checking Facebook between sets, I risk my workout being incomplete. Similarly, I structure my work in 25-minute distraction-free waves (see: The Pomodoro Technique) with breaks between them. The countdown induces fierce focus.

UNIT-BASED DASH: If I complete my entire workout within the hour allotted for it, I leave the gym. Similarly, if I complete everything on my to-do list before the clock strikes 5 pm, I leave the office. By defining what “complete” looks like for any project, and by establishing clear milestones, you’ll become aware of your progress based on the units required to achieve a finished state.

ENERGY-BASED DASH: Especially when I’m feeling sick or tired, I hang up my gloves when my body says to. There’s no point of pushing through work if you don’t have the energy for it, as you’ll be more susceptible to errors and illness (which will only produce a cascade effect of more work, fatigue, and delays down the line). Don’t just manage your time — manage your energy as well.

RESULTS-BASED DASH: This dash is very similar to the unit-based dash; however, I spin it by anchoring it in externally-defined results. Since I work in an agency setting, the results in question which I often pursue are typically defined by clients. While they may not always be perfect for me, they’re usually perfect for my clients. When confronted with a torrent of timelines for client projects, I switch on the “f*ck it, ship it” approach to getting things done.

FEELING-BASED DASH:This isn’t for everyone, and doesn’t apply to most types of work. It’s especially risky in projects where there’s a lot at stake, or if there are multiple dependencies. Saying “I’m done” because you feel like it comes with either a lot of privilege and/or proportional consequences. Therefore, I relegate this approach to my art and various solo projects.

According to Parkinson’s Law, work expands so as to fill the time allocated for its completion. If we’re not slapping constraints on our workday, we’ll burn out. At the same time, imposing timelines and clear parameters raises the difficulty level on our work just enough that we naturally end up working harder and smarter to get things done. Therefore, knowing when to stop working is a win-win approach to getting things done.

Alex: How do you enjoy spending time with family and friends? Hamza: I love movies. My go-to activity is to explore other worlds through the art of cinematic storytelling. I’m also rediscovering my love of video games. Advances in gaming technology are offering levels of immersive storytelling that can sometimes rival that of the most masterfully crafted films. For me, one of the most enjoyable parts of the process is discussing the media with family and friends following the experience. We bond over the shared experience by remembering moments, unpacking themes, discovering hidden meanings, and more.

Alex: What has been the most fulfilling role you’ve ever had, or the most fulfilling project you’ve been involved with so far? Hamza: The most fulfilling role I’ve ever had was Co-Founder of Splash Effect, a role which I still occupy at the time of writing. It continues to bring me the highest-of-highs, tempered with the lowest-of-lows — and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every day has been (and continues to be) a challenge. It’s an adventurous cycle comprised of growth, success, failure, reflection, and recovery, where I’m regularly compelled to step outside of my comfort zone. Building a business is creatively and intellectually stimulating, and I always feel like a beginner. However, there is a different sort of fulfillment that comes from long-term dedication to a single project/product. As the Digital Community Facilitator at Ryerson University, a pioneering role in higher education, I was able to immerse myself in the development of a product (RU Student Life) that helped establish the institution — Canada’s leader in innovative, career-focused education — as a national leader in online student engagement.

Alex: What’s one career planning lesson that has made a significant difference in your life? Hamza: A career planning lesson that has made a significant difference in my life was auditing my happiness. Growing up as the son of hard-working immigrant parents, I got caught up with the notion that hard work was the only path to success, and that success was linear (defined by specific milestones, including an oddly specific income target). And it didn’t help that I idolized successful rappers, movie stars, and basketball players, all of whom were millionaires. For most of my life, I felt a crushing performance pressure induced by these external definitions of success; they were other people’s dreams. Inspired by Tim Ferris’ “The 4-Hour Work Week”, I took things back to the drawing board and designed the perfect day in my life, projected a few years into the future. And then I started adding prices to this vision. Once I adjusted for inflation, lo-and-behold, the actual amount of money that I needed to be at my optimal happiness was significantly lower than what I was chasing. In one sitting, I had liberated myself from the tyranny of warped & external definitions of success. And finally, I began to chase my own dreams.

Alex: What would you like your legacy to be? Hamza: I want to be remembered as someone who maximized his potential. I want to exemplify the power of discipline and purpose when it comes to making things happen. I want my value proposition of “transforming ideas into reality” to be true for as many people as possible. I want to have been relied on to take any idea, regardless of scale, from idea to execution. If it can be said that that I added value everywhere — that I significantly improved the world for everyone around me — I will feel as though this was a life well-lived.

Alex: Thank you for taking part in this interview! Your insights are much appreciated!

Did you find one or more of Hamza's insights helpful? Are there any ideas or resources that came to mind as you read the interview? Know someone we should interview? We encourage you to share your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. Alternatively, feel free to send us an email using our contact us form on the Rascanu.com website.

[giselepham95-blog]

Fifa 18 Ps4 Legends — FIFA Forums

Do you assume 36k fp at first of the game enought to get him? Do you typically buy fifa point dude? I was once anti legends then realized that's simply dumb and if I had the possibility to use some I believe it can be really fun. Now more than ever I find myself needing someone like a legend to link up a hybrid. Im hoping it happens, would also assist the market. Yeah never hate legends tbh. However personally want to use george finest cause he's my idol. Do you assume 36k fp at the start of the game enought to get him? I used to be anti legends then realized that is just dumb and if I had the prospect to use some I believe it can be actually fun. Now greater than ever I discover myself needing someone like a legend to link up a hybrid. Im hoping it happens, would also assist the market. Yeah never hate legends tbh. But personally want to make use of george greatest cause he is my idol. Do you assume 36k fp firstly of the sport enought to get him? Isnt it higher to open pack at first of the sport? I obtained only 200k when purchase 12K fp when toty this year. Methods to make lots of fortune dude?

A FIFA 18 demo will doubtless come to the Xbox One, PS4 and Pc. There is a good likelihood that we will also see a demo on the Xbox 360 and PS3. It’s not clear if there will probably be a Nintendo Change FIFA 18 demo. In the new FIFA 18 gameplay trailer, we get a look at the new FIFA 18 graphics and some of the brand new FIFA 18 features. Expect the perfect wanting video games on the Xbox One and PS4. There's a particular Nintendo Change FIFA 18 release, that isn't constructed on a Xbox 360 or PS3 build, but we still don’t count on it to stay up to the graphics on the Xbox One or PS4. We're approaching that point within the life of the Xbox 360 and PS3 that EA might stop making the sport, but that’s not taking place this year. EA confirms that FIFA 18 is coming to the Xbox 360 and PS3 as a Legacy edition. A ‘Legacy Edition’ of EA Sports FIFA consists of equipment and squad updates to reflect the newest changes on the earth of soccer. FIFA 18 will see the return of its single-participant mode known because the Journey, now called The Journey: Hunter Returns. Much like FIFA 17 it should focus around protagonist Alex Hunter. After a breakthrough first year within the Premier League, the whole world is speaking about Alex Hunter. Now he’s again for a second season, and rumour has it, he’s on the move," reads the mode’s synopsis. Very similar to last 12 months, there’s a star-studded solid of footballers too, led by Cristiano Ronaldo. Count on a jet-setting adventure with matches in Brazil and Los Angeles as well. Here’s what you possibly can anticipate from each of them. For India, the sport prices Rs. Computer. The Ronaldo Edition prices Rs. Icon Edition is Rs. The PS4 model of FIFA 18 prices Rs. The FIFA 18 Ronaldo Edition PS4 is Rs. FIFA 18 Icon Edition is Rs. On Xbox One, the Ronaldo Edition of FIFA 18 is Rs. Icon Version is Rs. FIFA 18 normal edition is Rs. If you would like to buy FIFA 18 on disc in India, your only possibility is Amazon – EA’s official unique retailer in the nation. If you’re questioning why a well-liked franchise like FIFA is exclusive to a single retailer in India, read ourin-depth reportto know why. We mentioned every part we expect from E3 2017 on our weekly gaming podcast Transition. You may subscribe to it by way of Apple Podcasts or RSS or just hearken to this episode by hitting the play button below.

To the broad enthusiastic soccer fans and professional soccer avid gamers, the yell and cheer of the spectators who watching the exciting soccer matches on the stadium in the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa have still been heard. Mbappe was the spearhead of a youthful Monaco workers which reached the semi-finals of the Champions League and whereas the crew has already Bernardo Silva to Manchester Metropolis, Mbappe remains to be on the club. With the starting display screen loading and exposing a dark picture of Manchester United’s Paul Pogba earlier than being confirmed the buyer logging into the EA servers earlier than the game’s primary display loads up to showcase some fascinating additions and visuals. Some gamers might excel of their clubs because of the place they're being performed in and, or because of the formation the membership supervisor adopts typically. He appeared strong, fast and, most considerably, decisive. Does The Journey function once more? Produced in a modern, dynamic style harking back to today’s trendy visual applied sciences, the poster’s colors are drawn from the river itself, the solar and the feelings associated with the sport of football. The image is based on waves and movement, very like a soccer staff in motion. Russia’s western-most metropolis, Kaliningrad is unique. The athlete in this poster symbolizes the open spirit of town and area, embracing each the old and the new with a watch in direction of the longer term. It's a city whose spirit is derived from the water that surrounds it, and whose soul is reflected within the soccer made of world-famous amber sunstone. Ekaterinburg, situated near the Ural Mountains is the purpose where the continents of Europe and Asia meet. On the centre of the picture is a "Stone Flower"; the stone is the gorgeous gemstone malachite, famous to the region. The Stone Flower can be the name of a famous Russian novel by Pavel Bazhov, set in the Urals.

For FIFA 18 too, this may very well be an incredible trope to make use of to attract in more gamers in addition to deliver a refreshing change for FIFA veterans. Gameplay:Don’t get us improper, there’s nothing unhealthy about FIFA 17’s gameplay strategies. But FIFA is commonly about so rather more than just matches, and focusing on all these extra elements results in a slower game tempo at instances. The FIFA 17 demo is proof sufficient of that. So for FIFA 18, we hope the developers work a little on the tempo of the matches in the upcoming recreation. Women’s Soccer:FIFA launched women’s football again in 2015, which was undoubtedly among the finest things about the sport that year. The brand new characteristic came in with 12 National groups, but their incorporation was not as extensive as their masculine counterpart. And we don’t quite understand the trepidation surrounding it a couple of years on. This is particularly because the women’s games have been nice and really passable to play. However the truth that they had been brought on in only a couple of modes was disheartening.

MegaRace- Megarace is a wild sport to say the least. Your character is on a loss of life sport present the place the objective is to race however to win you should kill your competitors on the street. The sport takes place in a futuristic world with 14 raceways to compete on. BC Racing- Think, The Flintstones meet Nascar, Lol. Chuck Rock is playable in the sport. Volcanoes, dinosaurs and riders who will assault are in every single place. Corny sport I need to admit however a real basic as a result of it is loads of enjoyable. Racing Aces- The game makes use of full 3D graphics and as a jet pilot you have to win races and shoot them down with heavy firepower along the best way. The game lets me down because you can solely fly from behind the cockpit. Road Rash- A remake of the racing recreation using motorcycles made for the Sega Genesis. You may race and do methods reminiscent of flips off the heel and handle bar holds. The game is nice in break up display screen two participant mode and the music is fast rock music which fits the circulate of the dirt races.

[cccto-semi-pro]

The Proverbs

RECAP & PREPARING FOR CGDaily Reading for Week

Proverbs 1-3, Psalm 148

Proverbs 4-6, Psalm 149

Proverbs 7-9, Psalm 150  

Proverbs 10-12, Psalm 1  

Proverbs 13-15, Psalm 2  

Proverbs 16-18, Psalm 3  

Proverbs 19-21, Psalm 4

Resources for Week

Read Scripture Video: Proverbs

Read Scripture Video: Book of Proverbs

Read: Proverbs 1:1-7 and Proverbs 8-9

FOCUS OF TIME TOGETHER

To get a proper understanding of the Book of Proverbs, notice the ways we have seen the general principles of the Book of Proverbs to be true or untrue in our lives, and reflect on how our community shares and receives wisdom.

GROUND RULE / GOAL / VALUE FOR THE WEEK

Ground rule: Our ground rule for the week is to not interrupt someone when they are speaking. Before jumping in with our thought or opinion, ask the person who was sharing if they have had the time and space to finish expressing their full thought.  

CONNECTION AND UNITY EXERCISE (MUTUAL INVITATION)

Share in one minute what you are bringing into the room from this week.

OPENING PRAYER

Read the following prayer aloud slowly:

God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.

INTRO TO DISCUSSION

This week, we continue our look at the Wisdom Literature of the Old Testament in the Book of Proverbs.

Read Scripture Video: Proverbs

The Book of Proverbs is often misinterpreted as either a set of exact prescriptions for how to act or a list of promises that will always be true. This leads to confusion when, for instance, two proverbs seem to contradict each other, like Proverbs 26:4-5:

Do not answer a fool according to his folly,    or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly,    or he will be wise in his own eyes.

What are we to make of this seeming contradiction? First, we must understand that the Book of Proverbs is not prescriptive for how to act in every circumstance or situation — nor are they promises for the rewards you will definitely receive if you act rightly. 

Rather, the Book of Proverbs is presenting observations of the world that are generally true but not always true. It is trying to form in the reader a level of understanding and wisdom to know when it is right and good to say or do a certain thing. 

In that sense, part of what the Book of Proverbs is trying to do is build emotional intelligence in the reader — the ability to say the right thing at the right time, do the right thing at the right time, and feel and express the right emotion as is appropriate to the situation.

The Book of Proverbs is one of the most universally accessible books in the Bible because much of its wisdom concerns the right, wise way to live in day-to-day life. The principles generally apply whether or not you are “religious” or a Christian. 

Read Proverbs 1:1-7

However, despite this universalism the aim of the Book of Proverbs moves deeper than simply good and wise living. The entire book is rooted in the claim of Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” Here, “fear” of the Lord does not refer to a type of terror or a constantly cowering for your life but rather a deep awe or reverence for the Creator God.

This “fear” is an awareness that you are not the center of the universe, but God is; you are actually a rather small, insignificant being in the scheme of things. This the kind of “fear” in Proverbs 1:7 puts us in a proper mindset to hear God’s teachings and avoid the pride that causes us to reject good instruction. This fear, according to the Book of Proverbs, is the key to living a truly wise, God-centered life.

LARGE GROUP DISCUSSION

Read Scripture Video: Book of Proverbs

Proverbs are generally true, but they are not prescriptions or promises. They offer a perspective that, generally speaking, you reap what you sow.

How have you seen this to be true? 

And how have you seen this to be false?

In Proverbs 8-9, we meet the figures of Woman Wisdom and Woman Folly. Wisdom is personified by a woman whose house is on the highest hill in the city, who has been with God since the creation of the universe. In these chapters, Woman Wisdom is associated with YHWH while Woman Folly is associated with idolatry. 

What the Book of Proverbs is suggesting is when we make choices that are foolish or wicked in a given situation, we are choosing the way of other gods/idols that oppose YHWH. 

Woman Folly’s path is alluring but, like worship of anything other than the one true God, it ultimately leads to death and “the realm of the dead.” In contrast, when one acts wisely in a given situation one is truly following the way of God. Woman Wisdom’s path is one that leads to the good life full of the presence of YHWH.

Read Proverbs 8-9

What do you find compelling or off-putting about Woman Wisdom?

Jesus is often associated with the figure of Woman Wisdom in the New Testament. Dallas Willard once called Jesus “the smartest man who ever lived.” Often, we think of Jesus as fully God and fully Man. We recognize His miracles and His grace and love, but rarely do we reflect on the fact that he was the smartest and wisest man who ever lived. 

Throughout His entire life, including when He was a child (see Luke 2), Jesus acted in fullness of wisdom. In Proverbs’ terms, Jesus acted in wisdom, in union with YHWH in every situation, conversation, relationship, circumstance, and moment in His life.

How can Jesus’ life and teachings help show us the connection between faithfulness to God and wisdom for living well?

Are there any gospel stories, parables, or attributes of Jesus that reveal both His faithful reverence for God and His incredible wisdom?

The Book of Proverbs is basically Israel’s collection of wisdom sayings that takes the form of advice that a father would give to his son. Consider advice for a moment. 

What kind of advice do you tend to take in, where do you consume advice, and how much of it do you consume?

Now consider the community group. It’s important that we be careful to not prematurely give advice anytime someone offers their personal struggles. We must always try not to offer unsympathetic or insensitive solutions to others’ concerns. However, we must never shy away from giving direct and honest feedback to one another in the form of good, sensitive advice. 

How can your group grow in its culture of advice-giving? Should you be giving each other less advice, more advice, or better advice? Be honest and give examples if possible.

SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION

Having a right perspective on the Book of Proverbs is important because a proverb mistakenly read as a command can potentially lead to ways of living that are actually unwise. 

Take a proverb like 13:24: “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” This verse is not a prescription for spanking as the only acceptable form of discipline of a child, as some would suggest. 

Rather, it is an invitation to consider yourself, your child, the situation, and the kind of discipline that your child responds best to and how you can best invite and teach your child to see their wrongdoing while also learning what is right and good.

Have there been any proverbs that have been offered to you or that you have offered to others as a prescription that did not actually apply to the situation at hand? Or proverbs offered as a promise that did not come true?

Describe what you felt when you realized the proverb did not apply or did not come true?

What would have been a wiser way to approach the other person, or for the person to have approached you?

CLOSING

End your time praying for one another in your small groups.