#also now that i know who is who it might be easier to follow lmao

[carolinanadeau]

Embarrassing, ridiculous TMI under the readmore (not gross! just way too personal!)

I do not have PTSD and I don't want to be a part of the "flippantly using the word 'trigger'" problem at all, but I think I finally found a proper name for this harmful behavior I've wrestled with since at least high school, and it's called self-triggering.

Again, I don't have trauma... well, everybody has some trauma, but that's not the thing I'm triggering myself about here. And if I explained what I had actually been doing to myself (which may be obvious to someone who's reading between the lines but I don't want to talk about it for reasons I've stated before), it would sound laughably, mockably trivial. But the results are still an acute increase in depression and obsessive negative/angry thinking and distress and alienation from something that usually gives me joy... so it's still harmful to me, no matter how stupid and frivolous it sounds. Perhaps it's an OCD/depression self-triggering instead of a PTSD self-triggering.

I reiterate, what I'm discussing is not trauma, not EVER claiming it is, but:

In a similar vein, one set of case studies (De Young, 1984) conceptualized approaching situations reminiscent of the trauma as “counterphobic behavior” (i.e., an attempt to master anxiety by repeatedly approaching its source, resulting in a greater sense of control).  

I understand this, the "maybe if I keep looking I'll become desensitized", and "I need more information so I can better avoid this thing and people associated!" Or even "well maybe it wasn't really that bad, maybe I'm remembering it as worse than it was" (I'm not, if anything I've forgotten just how bad it was!)

Likewise, if trauma survivors perceive reexperiencing symptoms as inevitable, they may wish to decide the time and place of their occurrence, affording them a sense of control.

...is that the irrational "gotta get it over with" compulsion??  

Alarmingly, many users also report being unable to stop this behavior once they have begun despite the dysregulation and distress that it causes.

This is how it goes: I will read or even just skim through something that causes me serious emotional distress, whether that is a fanfiction with something horrible happening to characters I find comfort in, or a really nasty article full of harsh, baseless criticisms of something I love so much. (Again, these things sound laughable but to the way my mind works, it is not. Though I also do something similar with actual bad memories from my life [I think everyone does], well, you can't "reread" or refresh those. And I also have the power to delete/destroy any physical records I have of those.)

So, I will vow to never ever let this wretched thing enter my eyeballs again. I will ruminate about it and quietly seethe about the fact that it exists, and that some people even like/agree with it! I won't be able to get certain upsetting phrases out of my head and I will obsess and it will ruin my enjoyment of related things whenever I get reminded of it.

Maybe I will find ways to block or blacklist to lower my chances of seeing it. And I will be very vigilant about this for a long time and will successfully avoid it, even if I see reminders here and there that make me mad. Slowly, I'll only remember a few specific sentences from the thing, and even those may be unclear.

And then I'll suddenly develop the belief that I "have to" look at it again for some reason, and my heart will start pounding as I start bracing myself for this "inevitability".  And eventually the irrational, self-destructive side will win out and I'll do it, believing that it's like ripping a bandaid off for the greater good. Gotta get it over with, you see. I'll only glance over it, of course, because this time I already know how bad it is - I'll just read a few sentences here and there on my way to do something "sensible" like block the url or check who liked it so I know it wasn't my friends - but it will be enough to make me feel like absolute shit for days again, and now I have these fresh memories in my head to contend with and the cycle of trying to forget these bad bad thoughts and be able to freely enjoy the thing I love starts all over again.

and that's what you missed on Glee!

[luwha]

LMAO so, recently someone tried to SCAM me, so i'll show you what happened and the telltales of it being a scam.

This one is quite obvious but i know people who are just starting their artist careers and might not have experiece.

Follow the thread:

🚩#1: They pick your most famous/Popular art as reference. They don't know what you actually sell.

🚩#2: They will pick a random popular character. They're not roleplayers or anything. They're not here for the art in any level

You ask me, what are the odds they really like Goku? Oh, well, you'll see. At this point i check their profile for anythign that might indicate it, but as you'll see you won't have to.

🚩#3: They say they saw my ToS. On it i state i only work with paypal and google forms.

🚩#4: Random issue with payment method. They might have a real problem with it, but see; they'll never ever accept any other payment method, such as Zelle, CashApp, Payoneer, Ko-fi, etc.

I already knew this drill so, let's continue.

🚩#5: I love playing dumb lmao. Anyway, this scam revolves on them either sending you "too much money" and asking it back or something like it. I won't be following through because i know it'll be annoying.

BE ADAMANT WITH YOUR METHODS. Do NOT EVER bend them for randos.

🚩#6: They're so ready with the info on how the payment works it's fucking funny.

The reason I PERSONALLY use PayPal INVOICES (no any other payment within paypal) is that they're safe for both me and my client. My rules are stated clearly.

MAKE A ToS I BEG YOU YOUNG ARTIST

🚩#7: They're not even a good scammer lmao they REFUSE to go on my PROFILE to get a link or read anything.

I use Forms because it collects the client requests and it's easier for me to read it all in one place. It ALSO makes scammers bored.

🚩#8: They're so disinterested on the art they don't care for posing, vibes, colors, nothing. Again, they're NOT here for art. That's hilarious.

🚩#8: Same as above. They don't care for posing or anything.

On my art they link me, i have a vampire almost staking himself in a state of euphoria.

IMAGINE VAMPIRE GOKU STAKING HIMSELF THAT'S SO FUCKIGN FUNNY MY BRO, THINK YOUR SCAM THROUGH MAYBE

🚩#9: They will price your own work for you. And they'll overshot what we, smaller artists, charge for it.

They'll overshot by a lot.

They want you to be impressed and showing "generosity" usually gets people who need monay into risky situations. That's just plain cruel.

🚩#9: Same as above. Over generosity and eagerness to pay.

They're not even with the sketch, this haven't been an hour, they don't have any work form me but OH GOD they're SO READY to pay you NEED TO KNOW they WANTS TO PAY YOU SO BAD

Lmao yeah it's working out ❤️

THIS ONE IS JUST HILARIOUS BRO I CAN'T EVEN.

ANYWAY let's continue

🚩#10: They don't know me. They don't follow me. They broke every rule on my ToS. They're making me go through a payment method i am unfamiliar and don't use.

They don't care for my process. They're not interested on my sketch.

BE. ADAMANT. ABOUT. YOUR. RULES. AND. PROCESS.

Now, for the beautiful closure of this:

Have a ToS. Don't bend the rules for randos.

Use Invoices. Be sure you're safe.

Use forms if you'd like. Requests through DM and Discord ARE COMMON FOR OTHER ARTISTS. I personally don't like it, i have ADHD.

Being an artist on an online space is dangerous. If you need help, poke an artist you know, see how they operate and if it fits you. Most of them would help you.

🚩#11: goku isn't even on their icon 😭

This is the account that tried to scam me.

#art is life ❤️

[twost3ps]

I went on a guitarhero spree this weekend, saw the scott pilgrim au. I hungry for more info about it, pretty please? Even bread crumbs-

OOOP-

My og Adam harem idea

Man I haven't touched that thing in a while actually 💀

Ngl the schott pilgrim au is not really scott pilgrimy it's more the concept of fighting exes I based it off of

I made my decision a while ago to make st peter the 7th (guitargates my beloved <3 I will draw you eventually my heart won't stand it)

Guys he cut off a guy's ear to defend Jesus please guys he has a violent streak guys please

Okay just to confirm- the roster is a follows:

Mammon

Eve

St peter

Azreal (might be swapped out for Uriel ngl)

Rapheal

Gabriel

Micheal

Again this is more of a funny silly thing. I just wanted Lucifur to get beat up ngl- emotionally and physically 💀

HOWEVER-

I am thinking of revamping it to make lucifurs siblings cuz that actually made so much sense (7 rings of heaven 7 deadly sins ykykyk) that makes them like, Adam's actual 7 holy exes. Not its not just because that what I've been doing recently, but I think it makes the plot easier for me

Hear me out:

All of lucifurs' 7 siblings are willing rebounds in Adam's whimsy idea of revegene. It's a whole pride thing that Lucifur won't be the first of his family to have had Adam. So not only is Adam getting his revenge, but in a way, so are his siblings, but they won't be punished for it, lol. It's not very romantic, more like causual relationships.

But each are a bit emotional in a way that Adam become on a level, attracted to each one of them because they hold a certain trait that reminds Adam of Lucifur. Each time Adam breaks up with them it's because it's when it gets too much for him, knowing that it's not the same (still unsure but yea)

The siblings also grow close to Adam. While not finding romance, they have a very deep bond with him. Like a while understanding that they all got hurt because of lucifur. And they kinda just agree to be adam gaurdian angels.

That's kinda why they go and fight lucifur when they find out about their relationship (they kinda made a contract that they would have to test the suitor before they actually could really be together)

Now when they fight it's a fat combo of angst because Lucifur is going to have to confront his family, how his actions had hurt Adam enough to seek his siblings, realize he's hurt them too, and see the parts of himself that Adam loved and loathed about him through his siblings as they tell him about their relationship with Adam and it just debsyevwh

In that case the roster would have followed (this includes the trail adam saw in each of them although these are not set in stone-

Zadkiel or Azreal (prob Azreal)- dedication

Chamuel- passion

Jophiel- creativity

Uriel- knowledge

Raphael- understanding

Gabriel- joy/optimism

Micheal- pride

Top to bottom is the corn logical order of who Adam was in a relationship with. It would hypothetically get more emotional with every layer and a lot harder for lucifur to fight. Which is why Micheal is as the very bottom lol

There is also confrontation with the problems Adam has with relationships because it's him so yeah

The og lineup is more for comedy the second is more for the emotional stuff

The sibling one is Lucifur getting bet down with emotions and the more randomizer one is filled with lucifur just gawking and slightly getting beat up with emotions

I actually was working on a fake poster of it 2 weeks ago but my body gave up because I was trying to emulate the scott pilgrim style and gave up lol here is the wip of it though o3o

Girl I just realized I forgot to put the WIP LMAO

[gilverrwrites]

ok so this is my self indulgent request; the reader is black mask's girl and he gets jealous and annoyed when the riddler keeps flirting with her. i know that man would be seething lmao.

Easy To Lose

Black Mask/Reader/The Riddler, ≈900 words

A/N: You're speaking my language. Although, while I've been playing with some unpublished Riddler stuff, this is the first time I've posted him in sooooooo long, I hope I still do him justice - even if he is a little shit in this lmao. Also is HoH, I will die on that hill. Anyway, I really hope this scratches the right itch for you 💚

The Riddler takes his opportunity to chat you up when Roman is otherwise occupied. Rating: 18+

CWs: Swearing, name calling (freak, coward, pussy), unhealthy/toxic relationships, jealousy/possessiveness, allusions to (kinky) sex, allusions to violence. Reader is GN but hair longish hair.

Please remember: as long as you're trying, you're probably doing better than you think.

Alerted by the muffled sound of a familiar voice you cock your head up, greeted by the smiling face of Edward Nygma, sitting in the unoccupied side of your booth. Roman who is sitting beside you does not offer the same courtesy, too engrossed in sending an email on his phone. If he’d even noticed Ed at all. The thickness of his mask made Roman hard of hearing at the best of times. Combine that with the loud thrum of the club’s music, and Roman was often lost to the world if he wasn’t looking right at it. 

“Huh?” You lean over the table, turning your head to the side, indicating for him to clarify.

“I said;” Ed follows your lead, leaning in until his lips are close enough to press to your ear. His breath is warm, and steeped with the sweet smell of alcohol, something with gin if you had to guess. “What is rarer, and more valuable than gold, but easier to lose?”

Tongue in cheek you glance back at Roman, who remains undisturbed, despite his passive hold on your back having been broken. You wonder how he’ll react when he finally realises what is going on, he’d never been a fan of The Riddler. Ed had never bothered you so much, yes, he could be egotistical and yes, he loved to patronise, but he was also fun, especially when there were drinks involved. Perhaps your time in the bed of Gotham’s underworld had tainted one too many red flags green. 

Turning back to Ed you shrug and ask; “What?”

Without missing a beat Ed reaches a hand up and twirls a finger in a stray lock of your hair. He massages it between his thumb and forefinger bringing it to his nose, and inhaling the scent with his eyes closed. You don’t mind the anticipation, watching his coy smile as he eventually drops your hair, and taps his finger to your nose as he gives you your answer. “You, my dear.” 

You laugh. You bat his shoulder playfully and laugh, and laugh, and laugh until you feel the smooth, hard press of leather cup the back of your neck. Your body freezes, all for your head which turns slowly to face Roman, who has finally clocked onto Ed's presence, his near-black eyes boring into you beneath the shadows of his mask’s sunken eyeholes. 

“What is this?” Unlike Ed, his voice can be heard over the music, likely by anyone in a half mile radius. Although, it occurs to you now that he and Ed had very different intentions.   

Before you can answer, Ed jumps in, always eager to hear the sound of his own voice, or to stir the pot. Probably both. 

“I simply saw this poor dear looking neglected, and thought to myself, who better to offer them some much deserved attention than myself. You ought to be more careful Sionis, lots of people around who might want to steal this one away. Decent, meritorious people.”

Ed reaches up to your hair once more but before he can make contact, Roman pulls you back by the scruff of your neck until you’re snug beside him again, fingers still digging into your soft skin. He’d never pull or squeeze hard enough to really hurt you, at least not outside the bedroom, but there is enough force in it to offer you a warning, to tell you he’s not happy. 

“I can’t hear a word that freak’s talkin’ about.” He informs you. He can tell he’s trying to act calm, but his duel grip on your neck and the wood of the table proves otherwise. His neck is taught and red as he juts his jaw back and forth. “So, I’m gonna ask you this once, you think real hard about what comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours alright? What’s he been sayin’ to you?”

You don’t need to think hard about it. You’re only going home with one of them tonight, and you want to stay on his good side, and if your confession fuels his fire, so be it. Ed wasn’t the only one who could stir a pot. 

The wood of his mask is rigid and cool as you press your lips to the spot that covers his ear. “He said I’m rare, and valuable, and that he wanted to steal me away from you.” 

“He fuckin’ what.” It’s not a question, it’s an expletive, a threat. In seconds Roman is on his feet ready for a fight, but when you both look over, Ed is gone. Swallowed amongst the sea of clubbers. His bright green attire blending in amongst the ever-changing lights of the club. 

“Fuckin coward,” Roman yells, slamming his fists on the table. His chest heaves as he processes his next step, as he decides if he’s going to go after him or not. You help in his decision-making by resting your hand on his wrist and tugging until he looks at you. His eyes dart back and forth between you and the crowd before he gestures to the sea of people. “Is that the kinda man you want baby? A goddamn pussy? Tryin’ to move in on what’s mine and can’t even face me.”

“No…” You coo, shaking your head. When he settles back into the booth you shuffle close to him again. “You know I only want you.”

“Fuckin’ right you do.” He runs a firm hand through your hair until he finds the soft spot at the nap of your neck where he locks his fingers in, using it to pull you even closer. “Guess I’ll have to stake my claim another way. For tonight.” 

Request Info || Prompts || Masterlist || Ko-Fi

[halucynator]

Hi Sweetie ~~ ✨

Please can I request a fic based on Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter? Any Slytherin boy will do 🤣 I just need fluff in my life~~ 💞

No worries if not x

Nonsense

I'm lazy so this is the second part of Someone Will Love You Better lmao. I think it fits. Part 1 is here.

Also I'm so sorry! I didn't even notice that I got sent this! Idk how long it's been in my inbox but if it's a long time I'm SO sorry!! Hope you like it xx the red italic writing are the lyrics xx the lyrics are edited to suit the text (ofc)

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Warnings: implied smut (like 3 words?), kissing, not proof read, I think that's it

Summary: based on the song Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter.

It had been a couple of weeks since you and Draco had broken up. You had to face Mattheo which was easier than expected.

Think I only want one person in my dorm. I might change your nickname to don't leave me alone. Said you like my eyes and you like to make em roll. Treat me like a queen now you got me feeling thrown. Those were the words that clouded your mind as you saw the love of your life.

Who could you possibly be talking about? The answer stood right in front of you. Mattheo Riddle. You'd liked him since forever. Well, since you'd known him which was after you started dating Draco. And to your delight, HE asked YOU out a week ago because Draco told him you liked him. Crazy, right? Here you thought you'd have to make the first move.

I guess he liked you just as much as you liked him. However, one think he didn't like was PDA.

But he was so hot and you couldn't help yourself, when he got close to you. And so he was forced to partake in any public display of affection and he grew to not mind it as much. It was you, after all. And he'd do anything for you.

Your tongue went numb around him, and made you sound like a complete idiot constantly making it sound like you were saying unintelligible words such as bleh blah blee.

You didn't want no one else, you were in too deep.

"Here's a lil letter I wrote. It's about you and me." You handed him a love letter, your cheeks the deepest shade of crimson.

He smiled, like a full one, which was a rare occasion. Usually he settled for subtle smiles. So subtle, you couldn't be sure if it was a smile.

Inside the letter the following words were written:

I'll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in. And when you got your arms around me, oh, it feels so good I had to skip a passage because otherwise this letter would be too long. I think I got an ex but I forgot him. And I can't find my chill, I must have lost it. I don't even know I'm talking nonsense. I'm talking all around the clock, I'm talking hope nobody knocks, I'm talking opposite of soft, I'm talking wild wild thoughts.

Love

Your princess,

Y/n

Mattheo laughed as he shook his head. "You didn't have to write it down! I already know I'm irresistible."

"you've gotta keep up with me, I've got some young energy. I caught the L-O-V-E, how do you do this to me?"

"Do what love?" Mattheo asked.

"around you I get butterflies. But I can't help myself when I get close to you. Baby my tongue goes numb. Sounds like bleh blah blee. I don't want no one else. Baby I'm in too deep."

He kisses your lips and hands you a letter.

"Here's a lil letter I wrote, it's about you and me." He says grinning as you open the letter.

And surely enough the letter had the following words written:

I'll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in. And when you got your arms around me, oh, it feels so good I had to skip a passage because I don't want to keep you too long. I think I got an ex but I forgot him. And I can't find my chill, I must have lost it. I don't even know I'm talking nonsense.

Love,

Someone who you don't want to leave you alone,

Mattheo Riddle.

"This love catchier than chickenpox is. I think your dorm is where my other sock is. Woke up this morning, thought I'd write you a letter. Wanna take a quiz?" You asked

"Sure. What about?" Mattheo questioned.

"how quickly can you take your clothes off pop quiz." You chuckled.

"You're adorable, you know that?" Mattheo said as he kissed your cheek.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

A/n: hope you like it as much as I did writing it! It's kinda short! Request again anytime love 💗 again I am super sorry for the wait !

[kurosagileo]

alrighty its post mortkranken thoughts time! under a cut so that spoilers are easier to avoid

(did one for obscuary here)

for a spoiler free thought first off, though, i think the time between episodes both works for and against the story. it's a good pacing so far imo, even if it's disappointing there's not much to do in the game between episode drops. there's enough time to let people analyze the most recent episode and secrets revealed, come up with guesses as to how things connect, and when that starts dying down, there's time to hypothesize about the next episode because teasers have started dropping. Game wise, there's time for people who have been playing for a while to get farther in cases so that once the episode does drop, it's easy to go through whenever you're ready. On the other hand, the time inbetween, the teasers can possibly hype a episode up a bit too much, i think that happened with obscuary and may have contributed to how the episode felt unbalanced (at least to me). High expectations mean there's a lot that could go wrong when things end up differently. I don't think they should release the episodes sooner, that would be an overload, just something i've been making note of and trying to not expect too much from a new episode so that i enjoy what comes out rather than being disappointed with what didn't

spoiler wise, i'll follow the format i had for obscuary!

jiro is winning the idgaf war and i absolutely love that for him. I think the writers did a good job of makng him the straight man to yuri's antics and thoroughly enjoyed scenes with him

yuri... is so silly i love him sm i want to kiss his cheek so that he bluescreens on the spot. i love that he seems like he's gonna be a scientist with questionable morals leaning to the evil side but then he ends up being so expressive about every little thing. he's smart but not manipulative mastermind ike if he's thinking something you Will know it

there's an interesting dynamic between the two which I'm looking forward to learning more about. Some of the few times where Jiro outwardly emotes are during interactions with Yuri. (Also with pc with the body lmao)

now for the story content, not an analysis of what things might mean but just overall storytelling

I think this did well with bringing the standard back up from the obscuary episode. for my thoughts on that, feel free to check out the other post i made. it was far more balanced with the investigation driving things, mc getting closer to the two ghouls, and the progression of mc's curse for the overarching story. the cameos from all of the other characters was exciting to see while going through, and was great for showing how different characters interact with each other. I think each of those small moments showed a lot about the characters.

for a few examples: alan's regrets for not saving naoki, highlighting how much he values being able to save people and blames himself for not doing enough even when he couldn't stop it; leo taking the documents, seeming to just do it to be antagonistic, but actually genuinely helping out both mc's investigation and alan's ass if the files went missing; ren and ritsu talking about ramen in the store, they're getting closer despite ren not liking working at his job and always complaining that ritsu is there, clearly they're starting to become friends; the three vice captains meeting and the absolute tension there

i could go on, each of those little cameos was meaningful imo, not all of them served to progress the main story, but they're important to see, to show how the ghouls are interacting with each other and how they act when mc isn't investigating their house

I think the investigation portion was a little rough near the end. The case wrapup wasn't as satisfying as I'd like, I think the best two episodes for that so far were vagastrom and sinostra, but the framing of it makes sense considering yuri's stigma. (specifically the part of the wrapup where we found the patient was behind things, the fight at the end was something i really enjoyed) It's something that lets yuri process everything instantaneously, so it makes sense that the answer is just given in a monologue, even if it ends up being somewhat unsatisfying. Yuri is a character who likes his monologue, and he's found everything out and is confident in his answer. I don't think that he would present the information in another way

The foreshadowing in this chapter was...... well it could've been more subtle. I kinda wish that while Jiro was leading mc through Mortkranken, there would be more attention drawn to multiple things, aside from exactly what would be relevant. I think that may have also led to the unsatisfying reveal

the very ending with the assembly was also well done, imo. it reiterates that the faculty want mc to gain the trust of the ghouls and is doing so. but it also calls into question where that request is coming from. right now, mc is very much being used by the faculty. she was pushed into the investigator role, pushed into being a student, pushed into earning their trust, threatened with a possible punishment for not being able to prove it. it serves her as well to grow close with the ghouls and be an investigator, and she clearly is, but I really don't think that's anywhere near the reason the chancellor put her in that position. we always keep the spy thing in the back of our minds while reading, while she's essentially also advertised as a spy to the ghouls

the phone call between hyde and sho was both surprising to see, but also not. Sho has a campus chat with hyde where he says that he's using hyde to get ahead any way he can. Learning that hyde is giving secret missions, it's unsurprising that Sho is one of the students he's using. I think this would be too obvious for the whole spy/traitor thing, however... there was one other campus chat that came into my mind, the one between subaru and leo. Subaru's waiting for MC for lunch, Leo approaches and sees he's got food from Sho's food truck, and comments on how Sho is really good at the friend act. Acting like he's a friend to customers to convince them to buy more. While the likely reading is Leo just lying to mess with Subaru (and honestly I wouldn't doubt that), I think it could also be that it's a true analysis of Sho.

He is good a the friend act. Sho has no problem lying to someone to appear nice. He did it to an old lady looking for a train station in the vagastrom episode. Leo told her he had no clue where it was, Sho gave her instructions and after she left, Leo asked how he knew and Sho told him oh I didn't. A lot of Sho's flaws are looked over because he's nice, when he is kinda an asshole a lot. I don't think that he's using a friend act on Subaru, but it's genuinely hard to tell. The scene at the beginning of the episode was cute, but depending on how you read it, it could be Sho playing it up for the bet with Leo.

I doubt the phone call from the end will actually be how we learn about the traitor, but I also think that Sho has a lot more resources than most to be a traitor

[weenwrites]

Hello. I was the anon that asked about the matchups and requests but thanks for letting me know!

May I request a headcanon for TFP Soundwave, Ratchet and Optimus who somehow accidentally turn into humans but their human S/O also becomes cybertronian for a day or few? If this hasn't been done before

Their S/O is so confused and has no idea what to do in their cybertronian body and how it works as well as being worried that they'll hurt them when it comes to being around them or having to carry them around. Their S/O is curious on what it's like in being the cons/bots perspective of being a cybertronian with a human S/O but at the same time hesitating to even touch and pick up the cons/bots in fear they'd accidentally hurt them or worse

With Soundwave, it would be kinda interesting if Lazerbeak wasn't affected and didn't turn into some regular raven or something, he could probably attach himself to Soundwave's S/O for the time being LMAO otherwise him as a raven would also be cute cause he'd raven's are cute and cool

Sorry if that didn't make any sense or seem silly. Just a random thought 😭 if not this, I could try requesting smth else that's better otherwise have a good day 🙏🙏

Soundwave

Actually, Soundwave's faring rather well as a human. He knows quite a bit about human lifestyle, so he's certainly better off than you are. Of course they do warn you about your own strength. You're already well aware that cybertronians are super strong in comparison to a human, so he's unsure how well you'll be at controlling your newfound strength. Even if you're really good at controlling how much force you use as a human, it's nothing in comparison to a cybertronian's strength (but still, it might come in handy.)

If Lazerbeak wasn't affected, then he'd stick around to help keep Soundwave safe. Since Laserbeak and Soundwave both trust you enough, Laserbeak would temporarily attach himself to you so long as you're fine with it. To you it may feel odd, but it establishes a connection of sorts between you and Laserbeak. But if Laserbeak was affected, he'd be a bird perched on Soundwave's shoulder.

Of course as a human, they need to eat and whatnot. He has no problems with preparing meals according to any instructions you give, but he's unused to having to complete so many tasks just for something to eat. Of course energon needs to be refined before being consumed, but when it comes to cooking you have to complete so many other steps.

For the most part, he tries to do what work he can, and he sticks by your side to help out if you're having any trouble, or just to keep you company. He'll usually perch on your shoulder if you're big enough, or he'll just follow you around if your shoulders aren't big enough for him to sit on comfortably.

Throughout the entire day they remain as unreadable as usual. Normally it would be impossible to tell that they're even exhausted by the end of the day, but since you know them so well it's easier for you to detect the subtle changes in their posture. But even as he lays down to sleep it's difficult to tell whether he's sleeping or whether he's simply closing his eyes—actually scrap that, it's hard to tell if he's even alive at all. He sleeps like a corpse and it's hard to detect the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

Ratchet

Despite his now miniature stature, he still insists on doing a full routine check-up to ensure your body is in good condition. Although the check-up lasts a good 30 minutes longer than it usually would, he's still able to get the job done despite how limiting being a human is.

He tries to help you the best he can while this predicament lasts, and honestly he's the best out of the 3 at doing this. He can help properly describe how you change your arm back if you've activated any possible built-in weaponry, or how you transform out of your altmode. But when it comes to your strength, there's not much he can do to help with that aside from advising you to grab things carefully.

As a human, he's doing rather well aside from the fact he's upset he can't do anything. Of course saying "anything" may be an exaggeration, but his size debilitates him greatly. Even if you'd suggest that he could take this opportunity to kick back and relax, he's far too stressed to just settle down. No matter how tempting that may sound, he can't just relax in the middle of a war.

If you seem excited to put your altmode to the test, Ratchet would definitely advise against it for 2 reasons. 1: while flying, driving, or diving comes naturally to cybertronians, it may not come as naturally to you, a human who's been turned into a cybertronian. 2: any attempts you make at using your altmode may attract unwanted attention if you were to do it outside the base. You could test it inside the base, but that's only if your altmode isn't anything that can fly.

Optimus

The instant this happens, he has Ratchet look you over to ensure you're in good physical condition. And while he's relieved that you're in top physical condition, he now has a whole lot of other problems to worry about, such as how he'll reverse whatever happened, the well being of the team, etc. etc.

It's not that he doesn't believe in his own team, no, but he has to factor in the notion that he has been severely limited by this sudden happenstance. Of course he can still lead them, but he can't join them out in the field to work or do patrols, which affects the strength of the team.

He's had experience having to adjust to a newfound strength once he inherited the matrix, so he can relate with and understand any predicaments that ensue because you grabbed something too tightly, or you pushed a door too hard. He advises you to learn more about your strength in a non-harmful way.

He doesn't have a difficult time adjusting to being a human, in fact he's faring pretty well despite it all! While he's not as busy with helping the team out on the field, he's still busy doing what work he can, and he'll firmly refuse to take this time to relax. At the end of the day he's exhausted beyond relief and rather hungry, given the fact he didn't spare even a single second to sit down and eat something.

By the time he's decided to stop working, all the kids have gone home, which leaves only you at the base to help. There's no kitchen to make a full-blown meal, at the very least there's most likely a mini fridge full of snacks and drinks. According to what you tell him about the 4 food groups and how everything in the fridge fails to fulfill the needs, it's better than nothing.

The one thing he enjoys the most about this entire ordeal is being able to rest. While the couch may not be the most comfortable bed to you, it's many levels above a circuit slab in terms of comfort. However he feels a pang of guilt when he lays down to rest while the rest of the team is wrapped up in work. A little bit of reassurance from you will help him get a good night's rest, and encourage him to try and fall asleep as soon as possible.

[natelia-aldelliz]

Imagine if Soap started seeing the ghosts of Tommy, Beth, Joseph, and maybe Simon’s mom? Like he has no idea who these people are but they are just like, ‘Oh my god…. That’s Simon’s boy’ and start hanging around

-Anon 🎧

Sadly in the official version of this AU, if they've ever been ghosts they have since moved on and disappeared, but this would be funny as an alternate universe of this alternate universe lmao

So I've written this, it's not really what you said but it's what came to me, maybe I'll write more later, as like a side story or something

"Who are you?"

Soap wakes up with a startle. There's a child standing next to the bed, frowning down at him. A dead child. For some reason he had almost forgotten that sometimes ghosts just come up to him on their own. Children especially, as if they were more discerning of his abilities than adults.

"Huh, hi, I'm Soap," he whispers back to not wake up Simon. Bug isn't anywhere to be seen, but that's not really unusual. His new found abilities to sleep don't work every night, and watching people sleep gets pretty boring. He's probably just roaming around the base.

The child frowns harder. He can't be more than four, with wavy dark blond hair and brown eyes, wearing a super-hero pyjama, blood dripping from the bullet wounds on his chest.

Fuckin hell... It never gets easier.

"You're not Uncle's boyfriend," the child pouts at him with all the might of a toddler.

"Uuuh," Soap hesitates, long enough for the arm around his stomach to tighten its grip, a clear sign that Simon is waking up.

"Wha's goin on?" The older man mumbles against his neck.

"There's a child," Soap answers, "I'm trying to understand what he wants."

"Hmm. Where's Bug?"

"I don't know-"

"Uncle Simon!" The child interrupts him gleefully, now beaming, his frown apparently completely forgotten.

Soap freezes. This man can't catch a break. How does he even go about this? A light thump coming from the door, followed by a "ow!" interrupts his panicking. The door opens right after and Roach comes in, rubbing at his forehead.

"Guys I know none of us know what's happening but I'm gonna need you to start researching, I can't keep becoming material randomly, it hurts and it's embarrassing when I'm spying on people - oh god."

"Uncle Bug!" The child yells again, bouncing on his heels.

Simon's breath quickens slightly behind him, probably still not used to seeing his dead lover, even after a couple weeks of this, which honestly Soap thinks is fair, before he tenses up.

"What are you both not telling me," he demands, sitting up in the bed.

"Are you a friend of my uncle, then?" The child turns back to Soap with less of a frown.

"Uh, no," Bug saves him from answering. "Well, yes, actually, but he's also his boyfriend, like me."

The little boy looks pensive, trying to understand. Simon grabs Soap's arm and turns him around, forcing him to look up at him.

"Johnny, talk to me." His voice is so gentle still, especially when he says his name, but Soap knows it's not a request. It's his officer's voice.

"Maybe ye should ask Bug...?" He tries.

"Bug isn't as easy to break as you."

And he's right. All it takes is for his eyebrows to start pointing up pleadingly and it's over. He's weak, what can he say.

"The child," he sighs, "he's calling ye Uncle Simon. He's basically a toddler, five at most, blond, with-"

"-Brown eyes," Simon interrupts him, looking like he was stabbed. "I know, I only have one nephew."

[analogwriting]

Star-Crossed

Chapter 13: širdies

Donquixote Rosinante x gn!reader word count: 2.2k a/n: this one is a bit smaller than usual and it's a lil uneventful. kind of a filler chapter as i set grounds for the next one lmao first|next

You're not exactly sure when you fell asleep - well, more than likely, passed out, but when you woke up, you found yourself in your room at Pops’ house. It makes sense Marco brought you here. You probably weren't safe in your own place. You had no idea who would come after you or even if anyone would come after you. People didn’t typically know where Pops’ lived and he’s been out of the scene long enough that they should leave him alone for the most part.

You just hoped that they wouldn’t drag him into your mess like you had everyone else.

That, and being alone probably wasn't the best idea. This way Marco could keep an eye on you and make sure you didn't run off. He was well aware of your bad habits; take just the other night for example. He didn’t want to have to hunt you down again. He’d already done that once this week. You only did it once in a blue moon, but this way he could prevent it from happening in the same week. 

You sighed, putting your head in your hands. You weren't even sure how long it had been since you , but it was dark outside. You rolled over and glanced to your tableside; the clock read three in the morning and your phone laid there with a shattered screen. You didn’t even bother trying to see if it worked. Who did you have to get a hold of right now? All you needed was Pops and Marco and they were both in this house. You’d replace it eventually.

But not right now. 

The events replayed in your head. You hoped everyone was able to make it out okay. As much as you didn’t trust Doflamingo or your own father now; Crocodile seemed like the kind of man who would at least keep his end of a bargain. If not, you would unleash hell. You had no problem taking all of them down or die trying.

After all, you had nothing left to lose now.

You sighed, laying on your back and staring at the ceiling. What were you to do now? You didn’t have the hospital. You had gotten Corazon shot. You dragged innocent people into your own mess that you created by being an absolute idiot. 

Why did you think you could have it all? Leaving your father’s family and still keeping a good relationship with him? Being able to have the hospital but also aiding those who were injured and helping others escape from the hell that was that lifestyle with no consequence? 

You were Icarus and flew too close to the sun. Everything you had worked so hard for - gone in an instant.

You felt a headache come forth and you knew you’d cry if you had any tears left at this point. Exhaustion was creeping back into your very being. It wasn’t long before you fell back asleep.

--

The following week, you hardly left your room or your bed. Hell, you hardly even ate. You just didn't have the energy to do anything besides sleep. When you were awake, you were plagued by your own thoughts of what happened and how you have nothing now. It just wasn't something you could deal with - you still had a hard time believing it. It was easier to sleep - especially when you didn’t even dream. It was just an endless black void and you welcomed it with open arms.

Marco basically had to drag you out of bed to make you shower, but you went right back into bed afterwards. He tried to talk to you, as did Pops, but you didn't provide much of a conversation, so they both ended up just leaving you alone for the most part. 

You heard the door open and the smell of food. It made you sick to your stomach, but one could also argue that you probably felt that way because you haven't been eating. “I’m not hungry, Marco,” you mumbled from your blanket cocoon.

“Yeah, he mentioned that you might say that,” a voice mumbled that was very much not Marco - or Pops for that matter.

You sat up quickly, squinting in the dark room to see who it was. You recognized his voice, but you just couldn't believe it for some reason. 

“Rosinante?”

You felt your face heat up and honestly you didn't know why. Quickly, you turned on the lamp on your bedside, hissing at the light. You’d hardly seen any in the last week anyway. “What are you doing here?”

“I might have begged Marco to let me come visit…” The man made his way over to you and that feeling struck you again. You went to move to catch him, only to get tangled up in your blankets and crash to the floor the same time he did. 

“Ah, fuck.” You slowly pushed your way up off the ground, only to realize something.

You froze in place the moment you sat up and realized he was under you. Your entire body suddenly felt like it was on fire. “Oh my god, I am so sorry,” you mumbled, scrambling to move off of him. “Are you okay?”

You remembered his wound, sitting back slightly and lifting his shirt without thinking. “How are you healing?” 

“If you wanted me alone in your room with my shirt off you could've just asked,” he teased, nervously grinning at you with red cheeks. Your eyes widened and you covered your face. 

“Oh my god. I'm so sorry.” For fuck’s sake. A week was all it took for you to forget how to interact with others? 

He slowly sat up, chuckling as he did so. You slid into his lap as he moved, not removing your hands. You were too embarrassed to even look at the man.

He removed your hands from your face and you looked up at him, face red. “I'm healing fine, thank you.” His expression was soft as he took your face in his hands with a gentle smile. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, heart beginning to run wild.

“Are you okay?” 

Then it was as if the floodgates opened. So much for thinking that you ran out of tears because you had plenty now as they started falling down your face. Dammit. Doesn’t he know that he’s not supposed to ask a question like that? 

“I'm so sorry, Rosinante,” you said softly. “I’m sorry that I dragged you into all of this.” You pulled your face out of his hands only for them to find your face again so you had to look at him. You averted your eyes, refusing to look at him.

“Look at me.” His gentle demand made your heart lurch and your gaze shifted to him in surprise.

His expression was still soft, tone still gentle. “You didn’t drag me into anything, y/n.” 

“Y-Yes, I did.” You hiccuped slightly from your sobs. “You were out. You were free from all of this. I shouldn’t have even tried to entertain the idea of us. I should’ve known it’d be dangerous. I’m so-”

“Y/n.” You stopped, sniffling as you looked up at him. 

“None of that is your fault. You didn’t know that your own father would betray you.” Marco had filled him in on all the details of what had actually happened, unbeknownst to you. “You didn’t know that he was going to team up with my brother. You didn’t know they’d take over your hospital and use us as collateral.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing. Yes. I got out, but I also know that things can catch up with me at any moment, just as you do. One can never really leave this life and all that, right?” You just looked at him, trying to find the words to say. You didn’t know why he wasn’t mad at you. He was just…so kind and you didn’t understand. It just felt like it’d be easier if he just hated you, then you wouldn’t have to deal with all these other complex feelings.

“Not only all that, but I still made my decision even after finding out who you were, remember? Sure, it took me a minute. Mostly because I was embarrassed for having made an ass of myself that night. Law was trying to get me to talk to you the whole time. I’m pretty sure he was ready to have my head.” He made a sheepish expression as if he was apologizing to the young man in his head for that one.

“I don’t give a shit where you’re from - I’m from that same place. I’d be hypocritical if I judged you for it. We’re in this together now. I mean. Well, uhm. If you want,” he mumbled, rambling a bit towards the end, his face slowly turning red.

You had stopped crying at this point, honestly just taken aback by his words. Your heart was beating so fast as you sat there, in his lap, with your face in his large hands. You could read between his ramblings. 

He was right, though. You didn’t necessarily drag him into anything. He had been the one to take the initiative. Hell, he was even going to ask him out before your father showed up. You had planned on telling him everything if things did end up getting serious. If he had asked you out that day, you would’ve immediately told him everything. You hadn’t planned on lying to him at all - you believed in full transparency. Especially since he was from the same background as you. 

The way he found out was unplanned, but it was going to happen all the same. 

He had come back. You thought it was only because he found out that you were also the person who saved Law, but he had hardly mentioned that. Law had even confirmed that it wasn’t because of that. It was just shit timing from when they found out and when he was ready to confront all his feelings. Everything seemed to be happening out of order and now you were trying to put the pieces together.

You moved without much thought, kissing him hard. He made a small noise of surprise, but was quick to melt into it. Your arms slipped around his neck as his found their way around your waist. It was getting hot and heavy quickly, but you knew you couldn’t go too far since you were in Pops’ house and you would rather die than get caught by him or Marco.

You pulled away, both of you panting heavily as you tried to catch your breaths. Corazon rested his forehead on yours, looking deep into your eyes. You finally spoke after a moment. “Yes. We’re in this together.” You supposed you should answer the sentiment he had stumbled over earlier.

He chuckled softly, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. “Good because I’d be real sad if otherwise.” You snorted, rolling your eyes. He was such a goober, but it was cute.

You thought for a moment, frowning slightly. This was great and all, but…where did you go from here? You could start dating, yes. This was one thing solved. There were still tons of things you had to deal with. You had to get your hospital back somehow. You also needed some answers from Pops. It was time you found out exactly what happened between him and your father. You needed to make sure all your staff were safe. Obviously Corazon and the boys were safe, but you needed to know about everyone else as well.

You had let everything get to you. You had fallen off the deep end, but you were back now thanks to Corazon’s help. Only…you had no idea where to begin.

You suddenly felt him press a kiss to your forehead and you looked up at him. “I can see that big brain of yours is back in business,” he said with a large, goofy grin. You felt your heart start racing again. Fuck, he was beautiful. He stood up, picking you up with him. Luckily for him, Pops was also a very large man, so all the ceilings in this home were tall. He could stand with ease.

“However, it’s late. There isn’t much we can do now. Why don’t you sleep on it, let your thoughts organize, and we can figure things out in the morning, hm?” He slipped into bed with you and you felt your face warm up. 

“If your goal was to get into bed with me the whole time, you could’ve just asked,” you mused, using his words from earlier. This time he went red. “That’s not…uh…”

You laughed, settling into the bed and pulling him with you. “I know, I know. Now c’mere.” You could already feel the exhaustion from the crying and from your brain turning back on. He was right, you needed a good night's sleep before you started tackling this absolute shitshow that you needed to deal with. You’d waited this long, what was a few more hours?

The moment you felt Corazon pull you in and wrap himself around you - you were out like a light.

-----

first|next

[pltkarma]

For Baby Witches

Now, I am not a know it all but I've been there, so here is some advice for witches who are starting out

I cannot stress this enough... You need to learn protection magick

Whether its calling the 4 corners, imagining a white circle covering you or doing LBRP. Whatever you do, you need protection magick.

--

On this path, you will or are most likely to interact with supernatural stuff. "When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back at you"

Doing magick will attract spirits, this is why protection magick is important as well to ground and meditate. If you do not ground yourself, you most likely will develop spiritual psychosis ( I did for a little bit lmao), you will think you see things out of the corner of your eye all the time, every number is some type of signs or you might believe that a spirit is following you everywhere.

Now, I'm not saying none of these can't happen but unless you are doing some type of in/en voking spell , working with deity's, etc . It is unlikely.

Meditating, you can do this when walking, sitting , laying down whatever. Meditation helps with relaxation and focus. Which will help your intent when doing spellwork.

--

"I can't do this bc the spell said xyz"

Just because someone says, "blank is the best time to do xyz spell" or " you need xyz colour or herbs". Does not mean you have to have it // wait. If you don't have the resources or time, you can do (almost) whatever spell, whenever you want. No colours, no herbs. As long as you have the intent. It should work.

When practitioners, say to do xyz on xyz date or moon cycle, it's just to offer the most "luck". like for example, Thursday is Jupiter's day, It is a day for good luck , long term investments, etc . Colors are green, purple yellow ( it varies ) and the best time to manifest is on a waxing moon.

This is when the energy is high! Making your spell "easier" (idk the word)

But again, you do not have to follow this, your magick is entirely up to you

--

You most likely will not have everything/ know everything

" You don't know , what you do not know"

It's okay to make mistakes, you will learn from it. It's okay to not know everything. ( Nobody actually does ) Practicing magick is a journey and you will be okay.

Interact with spell work

Lastly, you need to interact with your spell work and give it your energy some time. For example, if you make a money bowl, add some more money in it sometime, take from it, pray over it. Have that exchange of energy. ALSO BELIEVE! believe that your spell worked / is working. Do not waver on that. Magick without belief is dead.

This is all that I think I wanted to say. If you have any questions don't be shy to reach out.

[reds-skull]

BLOOD||HUNGER

[AO3]

Sooo I maybe started writing the new AU already... and maybe already wrote 2 chapters...

I'll say it on ao3, but I'm planning on having longer chapters for this fic compared to Not Alive, Nor Dead, so I won't be posting as frequently. That being said, I did write these 2 chapters in 2 days so... it might happen anyway lmao.

Also, I'll be putting the cut before the chapter so it will be easier to scroll by if any of you aren't interested.

As a sidenote, for this fic I'll be adding qoutes at the top of each chapter, and I suggest reading them because they are pretty important to the story!

Now, onto chapter 1, "Wræclast (Path of Exile)"

Page 1 of the “Blooede Starvatfōre-dēde”, parable 1:

Often were the stars, the only witness to me, To my regrets, to the stories of a fallen knight, It is only the sun and moon, that could hear my words, And yet none understand, the cries of a fallen man, The man who hides friends, in dark and rich earth, A friendless man, that he is. Where have the horses gone? Where have their masters leapt? Where have the knights fallen? The dark is all he knows, nightshadows risen, He walks alone, a blind man.

Often was Soap told, “stop trying to be the hero, MacTavish.”

He was told that by his CO on the mission that earned him his callsign, where he first found the true meaning of war. He was told that on missions he refused to listen, where he would run off to try and save what little life was left to die.

He was told that on the day he was dishonorably discharged for disobeying direct orders.

John likes to pretend life afterwards was peaceful. That while, yes, he hasn’t held down a job for longer than 4 months since, and he’s behind on a couple of months on rent, and he walks alone more often than not, he is happy. Content.

Right now, drenched in rainwater and mud, acting amounts to fuck all.

His heart beats fast, faster than it ever did on the field. Because this isn’t the field, John isn’t a soldier. He doesn’t belong in wars anymore.

John’s eyes dart around the dark alleys of the city, the silence a discomfort more than anything. Silence means everything else has ran away, or died. He shudders again, the chill biting through his clothes (civilian, flimsy, made more for show than any practicality), when he hears a whimper. He freezes in his tracks and strains his ears.

“Shhh” a small voice whispers, following words in a language he doesn’t understand. They belong to someone young, far too young to be here alone.

A voice in his mind tells John to turn away. “Don’t be a hero. Don’t be a hero.” it screams. John tramples it down.

He doesn’t need to be a hero, but he won’t ignore the literal cries of children. He can take them with him as they get out of this city.

Not a hero. Not a fucking hero.

John slowly gets closer to the sobbing kids, zeroing in on a small shed, its wooden doors rotten. “Hey” he whispers softly, and the voices instantly quiet. “I’m not gonna hurt ye, I’m not one of them.” 

The doors creak slightly as one eye peaks at him, wide and teary. He keeps his hands above his head, showing his lack of gear and weapons. After a few moments, the door opens.

A child, no older than 13, hugs a toddler, both big eyes look over him concernedly. John smiles, tried to seem reassuring even as his heart breaks a little more. It’s not a sight he ever got used to, children in war zones. He hoped he wouldn’t see it again, but life, as they say, finds a way.

“Where are yer parents?” John lowers his arms and squats slowly. The older kid frowns, opening and closing her mouth. “They… not...” she mumbles in English, sputtering a few more words he doesn’t know.

“Do ye know where they are?” he tried asking.

The kid carefully lets go of the toddler, their sibling, John assumes, and starts motioning with her arms.

She folds her fingers in the shape of a pistol, brings it to John’s head, and presses the pretend trigger. Her eyes don’t waver from his, and it strikes him how empty they are, as if all life bled out of them with the mimed shot.

John nods. He wished he had time to let them mourn, but he fears for the moment they hear boot-clad steps echo through the streets again, in search for more children to orphan.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get ye out of ‘ere.” he offers the older sister a hand, and the kid takes it hesitantly, “stay close to me, and we will get through this.” The kid holds tight onto the toddler in her other hand, and nods.

As he guides the children through the narrow streets, mud splashing under their feet, John wonders back to the moment it all started.

A few hours earlier

John stumbles into a bar. Or at least he thinks it’s a bar, either that or it's a “vap”. He’s still not really familiar with the alphabet here. 

The place is quite empty, save for a few rugged older men staring him down. John steps up to the counter, noticing the bottles of alcohol on display, and tries to flag the bartender. The man stops his conversation with another patron, and asks, “what?” with a heavy accent.

John nods behind him, “ye have Scotch?”

The bartender stares for a moment, before scoffing and turning around, grabbing a bottle off the higher shelf, and slamming it down in front of John. He couldn’t read the label, but the color seemed right at the very least.

“Cash?” the bartender grunts, and John pulls out a few bills to hand him. The man counts them, satisfied, and turns back to his previous conversation partner, “enjoy”.

John grins, “I’ll certainly will, cheers.” He takes one of the shot glasses and fills up a few fingers worth of the amber liquid. He lifts the glass and takes a swig, only to grimace when it burns down his throat.

It’s fuckin’ Bourbon. John glares at the offending bottle. They don’t have Scotch, but they got this shite? He should’ve stayed in Scotland.

John sighs, gloomily sipping on the foul drink. He knows he couldn’t have stayed there a second longer, senses buzzing for something more than a monotonous desk job and a gym full of pumped pricks who wouldn’t survive a fraction of what he had. It felt like he was choking, drowning in the repetition. 

He tried tamping down his need for action, for the first few months after the discharge. His therapist suggested him to find a new hobby, but nothing truly interested him. John knew what he really wanted, and it wasn’t steamin’ knitting another scarf.

The only thing he did, when he wasn’t in his stupidly mind-numbing job, or working out, was drawing. It’s a hobby he had while in service, sketching the locations he went to while on missions, passing the time in between fights. Little notes from debriefs, reminders, memorabilia.

His journal from the service was confiscated. Too many sensitive details, they told him. John fought tooth and nail, but it didn’t matter. 

He bought a new one, but it was a pathetic copy of his previous journal. The drawings meant nothing to him, just as much as his surroundings did, so John started sketching from memory. Against his therapist’s instructions, he started thinking more and more about the past.

It started consuming him. John couldn’t focus on the job, got told off, and because he was a little shit, talked back. 

He stopped going to the gym, instead going to self defence classes, where he was usually more experienced than the instructor themselves, but his blood still cheered every time he sparred with someone. Eventually, he got kicked out of those, for being too aggressive. It was hard to hold back, when he was used to sparring with soldiers.

John went to airsoft fields, the guns a familiar weight in his arms. It settled something in him for a while, but he grew bored of shooting down inexperienced teens.

It came to a breaking point when he was threatened with being evicted. His sister called the day before, screaming at John to get it together, crying that he wasn’t himself anymore, begging him to just keep down one fuckin’ job for more than a few months.

He said nothing in response, but it hurt. It hurt, knowing she was right. That he was fucking broken.

So, John just left. Took all of his few belongings, the rest of his money, and hopped on the nearest train.

After a couple of weeks, he arrived here, to this random city in the middle of nowhere. Without enough money to get onto the next train, he stayed, stuck. At least the food was cheap, and he found a nice enough motel to stay in.

As he swallows another mouthful of Bourbon, he distantly thinks perhaps it’s not the best use of money, especially when he’s not even really enjoying it, when a gunshot pierces through the air. The entire bar was silenced, everyone holding their breaths.

And it all went straight to hell from there.

Glass shattered as stray bullets hit the building, people screamed as they ran inside for cover, the wails and cries deafening as they mix.

John’s heart was beating so fast he felt like it’s going to explode, and he realized he’s not a soldier anymore. His body, his mind, didn’t feel a comforting familiarity in the crackling gunshots, in the perfected chaos of war.

No, John was terrified. 

The gunshots drew closer, and John spotted a back exit, dashing towards it, pulling the bartender with him.

“This way!” he shouted behind him, and not a moment later the body in his arm fell, the large man taking John down with him.

His head bounced off the ground harshly, his nose radiating pain across his face. John grunted and took hold of the man crushing him, turning him over to see red blooming over his chest, eyes lifeless and dull as they roll around his skull aimlessly.

John stilled, staring at the eyes, unbelieving. His mind was racing, questions muddling his senses, loudest of them all is “how is this real?!”.

His mind quieted when he heard boots crush broken glass, a radio buzzing with unintelligible commands. John only caught bits and pieces, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he couldn’t catch more than “Kill everyone.”

The body of the bartender was still warm, sticky heat travelling down his hands, soiling them.

This would be the last time he would feel warmth.

John wishes he could speak the kids’ language, tell them how brave they are. The older sister kept talking to her little brother, the toddler sniffing occasionally.

He gave them his jacket a while back, the two of them small enough to both fit under it. As the night grew darker, the cold settled in, and John would be shivering from it if the adrenaline wasn’t already making him tremble.

They luckily haven’t encountered any soldiers, their path devoid of any life. John steered them towards the outskirts, where he first arrived to the city. He’s hoping there would be someone to take them there, either by car or train.

And if everyone else is dead… John hopes he still remembers how to hot-wire a car.

His thoughts are interrupted by the little toddler’s squealing, pointing ahead to something off in the distance. John swiveled his head to see a silhouette of a person, and instantly pulled the children off to a nearby house.

John feels the older sister tugging on his hand, trying to get out and into the open, “stay here, kid!” he whisper-shouts, but the child insists, pointing at the person and saying “they good. Know.” 

John peaks out to look at the person, who is now searching around, lowly calling out two names.

“You’re Maria and Victor?” he asks the kids, and they nod, expression lighting up. He sighs in relief - they’re more lucky than he thought.

He lets the sister, Maria, drag him over to the searching man. She called out, and they ran over to hug each other, the man crying and repeating the same phrase over and over. John stood off to the side, a small smile on his face. 

He’s not being a hero, but actually saving someone feels good.

Maria points at him, speaking quickly in her mother tongue. The man stared him up and down, and rose to shake his hand. “I don’t know how to speak good enough to thank you.” he says slowly.

John shakes his head, “don’t worry ‘bout that. Do you have a way out of here? A car?”

The man nods, retracting his hand to hold onto the two siblings, “car yes, train not working anymore. You?”

“I have nothing. You mind if I join you?”

The man waves his hand, “follow me.”

Relief fills his lungs, and John finally feels his heart slowing. Tiredness washes over him, but he knows this is no time to rest. Just a little longer.

The cruel crunch of a boot makes the group freeze. A soldier walks ahead of them, rifle in his hand, barrel searching for more victims to murder. John pulls the man and the siblings behind him, lifting a finger to his lips to quiet them.

For a moment, he considers waiting the soldier out, letting him pass and sneaking around, but John knows better. Leaving a hostile at their backs is a death wish.

He takes a step forward, but the man stops him, eyes frightful and questioning. John takes the hand on his bicep and pulls it off of him slowly, and tried to convey with his eyes that it’s okay. The man lets him go, nodding and pulling the children away, shielding them from the fight to come. Whether he thinks John will win or not, is unclear.

The soldier is currently searching a house in front of them, flashlight shining through the darkened windows. John drops to a crouch, making his way slowly towards him.

There’s a knife strapped loosely to his thigh. Perfect.

He holds his breath as he reaches for the blade, the soldier turning his rifle from side to side.

His fingers wrap around the hilt just as the soldier starts turning.

“What-” He hears the soldier mutter, and John instantly strikes.

The knife slides perfectly into the soldier’s side, in between the tacvest’s plates. The sharp edge cuts through muscle and fat like butter, and John easily pulls it back out, dropping low to dodge the butt-end of the rifle heading for him.

The soldier snarls, and tried to take aim, but John disarms him swiftly, slicing the veins of his wrists, making the gun fly off to the side and clatter to the paved ground.

The soldier’s eyes, furious, glare at his as he slams the knife into his exposed neck.

The life fades from them as John twists the blade, letting the body fall to the ground, dead.

John is left standing, eyes staring at his reflection in the window. The man standing in front of him was bloodied, roughened, and fucking deranged.

He turns to look at the gun, the raindrops softly pattering on its metallic black body. John breathes heavily as he takes a wobbly step towards it.

The rifle, a Kastov-762, is one he knows well. He knows the way the mag clicks in when you reload it, the sound of the bullet travelling to the chamber, the way the air splits before the bullet as it’s being shot.

He knows the damage it can do to a person. He has felt it on his own flesh.

John could leave it. He could walk away, run off with the man and the children. He could turn his back to all of this suffering, like a civilian would.

He could decide, for once, not to try and be a hero.

When John drops to his knees, it’s as if the rest of the world holds its breath. As he drags fingers over metal and steel, he brushes off the dust that settled over his past self.

As he lifts the gun, checking the mag to see the shiny bullets, the man that rises is not John. He’s not the broken veteran, the unemployed asshole, the adrenaline junkie that can never find his fix.

Soap rises to his feet, rifle slung over his shoulder, eyes calculating over his surroundings. He walks over to the man, back straight, heart calm and collected.

“Follow me”, he orders, gun at the ready. The man flicks his stare between the dead soldier, the gun, and him. He walks out of the shadows, covering the children’s eyes.

Soap notices the radio crackle to life, hearing “-do you copy?!”. He takes it and crushes it under his boot. Putting a hand on the man’s shoulder, he growls, “more are coming, we need to move.”

He takes the man into one of the narrow alleys, hearing a commotion behind him as soldiers find the body. They almost reach the parked vehicles by the train station when they run into several soldiers.

The two groups lock eyes for a moment, before Soap and the rest are being shot at. He forces the others behind a wall, the children crying as the man hugs them tight, and Soap readies his gun.

He breathes. In for 5 seconds, hold for 5, release.

Soap sharply rounds the corner, silent footsteps run behind their attackers.

In for 5, hold for 5, release.

The soldiers are slowly closing in on the corner hiding the man and kids. Soap takes aim…

In for 5…

Hold for 5…

Release.

He shoots, taking down the hostiles with 5 perfect headshots.

He jumps down from his vantage point, scanning the streets around them for backup. Soap clears them and returns to the civilians, the man trying to calm the children to no avail.

“We’re clear, where’s yer car?” Soap gently pushes the man out when his feet linger. The man stares wide-eyed at the bodies before steeling his gaze and pointing to a blue truck, “there.”

Soap and the man walk to it, the area blessedly clear. The man places the children down as he unlocks the vehicle, the little kids instantly grasping at soap’s pant leg.

“Yer alright now, loves. Yer going to be safe soon.” he brushes the hair off their foreheads, their little bodies trembling from the cold and fear.

The man opens the doors and herds the kids in, taking a blanket from the back and wrapping them tightly. He closes the door and motions Soap to go around to the passenger sit, but he shakes his head.

The man’s brows furrow, “you not coming?”

“No.” he looks back to the city, “I need to help the rest, if anyone else is alive there.”

The man pauses, “you… you die. They kill you.” he stresses. “Come with me.”

Soap looks back at him, and smiles. “I can’t. Sorry.”

The man sighs, dragging a hand over his weary face. When the hand drops, he gives Soap a kind, yet sad smile.

The man reaches to shake his hand, “Mihail.” he says.

“Soap.” 

The man squeezed his hand, “good luck.”, and lets go to get into the driver’s sit.

Soap watches the truck drive off into the inky night, letting out a breath.

It should scare him, how easily he let his only escape slip between his fingers like water.

But he is calm, for the first time since he was discharged, he feels in control. The blood on his hands lingers, he is in his rightful place.

To the blood and devastation, Soap walks back, his heart beats a single goal.

His mission, save civilians, take down hostiles. As it always was, as it always should be.

Soap may never be a hero, but he will damn well try.

He is nothing otherwise.

[munkiey]

First of all, hello lmao. I just found your blog because I love lmk stuff even though I'm not very active on this social network, I've seen your amazing art on other social networks, and I wanted to ask you kindly if you could help giving me some tips to be able to promote my art or my blog in a better way or how to get people to see my content more, because I have seen that you have been very popular here in such a short time and I have been here trying for more than a year and I have achieved almost nothing, when I share my art on various sites there are no comments and I don't know what to do anymore, I am a bit desperate because I really want to work on this because I love it, it is my passion and also I will want to have some income with commissions because I need it, so yes I would like to make money doing what I am passionate about, but sometimes I wonder if my art is really good or what am I doing wrong because nobody responds to me when I post something. It was long, sorry if this has bothered you, I hope you can answer me, I feel that it would help me.

Okay so what you’re asking about is marketing. Now in the grand scheme of things bud, I’m actually pretty small. Maybe in correlation to a small fandom I might have made an impression but as the internet at large I’m a guppy compared to some of the big fish. Honestly, I prefer it that way. 

The bigger you get the easier a target you are, and the less you’re a person to the people you interact with. Don’t forget that.

The old saying, it's lonely at the top, is very true. The bigger you get the more likely people are to put expectations on you for how you should behave or what they expect. You’ll always be vulnerable to criticism and unable to reach out to your ‘fans’ in a fashion that isn’t either going to leave you exposed or looked at with scrutiny. When it comes to breaking into a fandom though, choosing what your focus is and making sure you have in mind what branding you’re going for. People like consistency and they like predictability. Think about some of the most famous Youtubers today, they’re always updating and they have a ‘theme’ to what they do. I’m a comic artist and wannabe animator, that’s what my content is. I post occasional illustrations between larger projects but as a whole people who follow me can generally expect I have something in the works. 

Looking at your message as a whole though I’m gonna give you a little bit of a hard pill. Don’t base your worth off what other people say. Yes, not getting any responses s u c k s. We’ve all been there and we all want to know how we did. In the grand scheme of things artists are a line of lil dogs wagging their tails and waiting for a pat on the head. You gotta find joy in just chasing that passion though. I see a lot of artists chasing clout and not chasing their artistic passion. They base every decision off what people want, or what they think will get them noticed. It’s very hollow. You can make a living in the comic book, illustration, animation, industry and never be noticed by the online sphere as a whole. Trust me on that, the amount of people I see that I know are published and recognized artists in the industry and have almost no following is a pretty regular thing. Again though, that comes down to your focus and what you want. If you want to have an online presence and gain a following, choose your lane, market yourself and keep your social media oriented towards that. Make a character for yourself and how you want to be perceived by people. I’m not always as cheeky in person, or horrific, but I like the humor of it and it builds a persona for me online.  If you want a career and you want to chase that dream, focus on improving yourself first. If you keep posting it online, trust me, the rest will follow.

There is no magic pill to making a social media following overnight. There are tricks, things to do to help grow it over time. Marketing classes are a thing and can help. But all and all, I’m also a believer in the fact that, if you love what you do, the rest will gradually follow.

[antiquepearlss]

Not a headcanon, but perhaps some writing to help with the “fever”.

~~~

Smoke seeps out through the cracks in the door. Eugene sighs as he pulls himself up and opens said door. As he does so, the aforementioned Royal Engineer yelps at the lack of purchase and falls flat onto his face just past the threshold. He is immediately followed by the ever faithful Ruddiger, who, covered in soot, might be easier to mistake as a fat cat.

The raccoon shakes off the soot as Eugene offers his hand. “Afternoon, Kid,” he greets. “Ready for some fresh air?”

Varian coughs, repelling smoke from his lungs. Gratefully, he takes Eugene’s offered hand to stand before looking back into his lab mournfully, shoulders slumped. “Yeah, I think I’m on a forced break. Give me a second to open up the ventilation system.”

Eugene raises his eyebrows as Varian casually pulls a nearby level. On either side of the door, a multitude of rectangular areas of stone retreat into the wall, replaced by nothing but the same smoke coming out of the door.

As much as Eugene is anxious to get to the point of his visit, the potential security risk of…literally anything that Varian works on is also his job to know.

Reaching into his pants pocket, Eugene retrieves a handkerchief and hands it to his younger friend. Varian takes it and immediately squashes it against his face, rubbing all over until Eugene can see a more distinct difference between his face and hair.

“So, should we be worried about the castle catching on fire?”

“No,” Varian responds, despondent as Ruddiger climbs up on his shoulder. The young man offers his furry companion the now soiled handkerchief, to which the raccoon takes and lights up brighter than the sky on Rapunzel’s birthday. The alchemist, however, radiates only gloom and frustration. “It’ll run out of energy in a few hours, then I’ll be able to go back in safely and dislodge the shears.”

Eugene blinks. “Kid,” he starts. Though Varian is certainly no kid any longer it's hard to break a habit. “What did you make?”

“A mechanical thresher,” Varian answers with a sigh. “Harvest season is right around the corner and I was hoping to get this ready to go. It’ll cut down - literally - the amount of time Dad and the other farmers have to spend harvesting grain. Right now…” Varian looks warily down the stairs. “Right now it’s just spinning like a top around the lab.”

Eugene has never been more grateful for stairs in his life.

I love this so much this is so fun. Varian is so chaotic, poor Eugene lmao.

And I love “fat cat” Ruddiger.

Thank you sm for sharing, your writing is wonderful 🖤

[justkpopjokes]

“Giant Bees!” || Lee Know

Ft. Lee Know + florist!Felix cameo (not ship) AU: giant beekeeper Word Count: 698 A/N: Indirectly requested by my bestie jaesea on May 28th of 2020 LMAO it literally took me 3 years smh (also @/hagun-suna I started writing a baker!minho for you YEARS ago and I decided to combine it with this one! idk if you’ll even see this HAHA I doubt you’ll read it but just wanted to say I thought of you!)

if you’d like to reblog just my fanart you can see it on my art blog ^^

If you know my fics, you’ll know that each AU comes with a twist…this one is giant bees

That’s not a figure of speech lmao the twist is that there are giant bees

Like I need you to understand that Minho takes care of LITERAL GINORMOUS BEES

It’s a bit of a challenge considering the bees are larger than his head 

Averaging 1 foot (~0.3 metres) long, Apis magna is the world’s largest species of bee!

(For context, a normal honeybee is 0.5 in or 1.2 cm long, which is 0.04 ft or 0.012 m)

Entomologists would be hesitant to even call it a bee anymore if it wasn’t for the blatant bee-haviour ahahahahah get it bee behaviour and appearance of a bee

(The drawing I made for the header is just a cuter depiction lol

I imagine they’d look more realistic, but you can also imagine lil blobs for this fic)

Minho took up beekeeping after discovering that the giant bees visiting his garden acted like his cats

His cats were actually scared of them at first LMAO but these giant bees don’t sting because they have lost their usual natural predators

In fact, they don’t seem to have any natural predators and don’t reproduce as often as normal bees, so they’re rare to find

Kind of more like something out of a fairy tale than an actual insect

But, somehow, Minho finds one such giant bee in his garden one morning feeding on the few colourful flowers he has planted there

He’s spooked at first, but his cats start playfully swatting at the bee and the bee seems to be having fun with them

So Minho brings out a jar of honey from his kitchen to feed the big bee

The bee drinks some of the honey and then flies off on its way

The next day, he wakes up finding 3 in his backyard

It understandably FREAKS HIM TF OUT and he doesn’t really know what to do??? Who does he even call???? Pest control seems a bit much?????

His cats seem to be playing with them again, though, so maybe this isn’t a huge problem (figuratively, of course)

So he calls his friend Felix who happens to be a florist

Minho: “FELIX I found a giant bee in my backyard yesterday AND THEY MULTIPLIED WHAT DO I DO??”

Felix: “Woah woah okay calm down, I’ll come over with some sunflowers”

Felix stops by and helps Minho plant some sunflowers in his backyard

Apis Magna love sunflowers because there are certain species of flowers that evolved to also be larger, which makes it easier for the bees to drink nectar from and pollinate

The obvious solution in Minho’s eyes is that Felix takes the bees, but beekeeping with giant bees isn’t like normal beekeeping

You can’t really choose where to keep the bees, they just fly out on their route to where they want

And if they trust you, they’ll let you harvest honey from their hive!

So, essentially, Minho got chosen to be their beekeeper LOL

He gave them honey one (1) time and they sort of imprinted on him

Bees were rlly like “we like this one can we keep him?”

(haha they beekeep but like the other way around,,,)

So Felix advises Minho to try and follow the bees

Once they trust him enough, they’ll lead him to their hive

Minho isn’t really focused on getting honey, but one day, all 3 of his cats run off

And so he follows them out…

…and finds the beehive!

A few bees seem to greet him, which he recognizes as the original bees in his garden!

They’re sort of fuzzy, so he gets an itch when they start to rub against his face

Anyway, he’s just there to collect his cats…but now that he knows where the hive is, might as well collect some!

So he collects some delicious honey (and his cats), pets some bees, and then heads home

From then on the bees visit Minho’s garden and he asks Felix for more flowers in exchange for their honey!

And they lived habeely ever after the end :D

[princess-of-the-corner]

how am I having more thoughts on the Cardcaptor!Katsuki thing?

Okay okay some plot notes:

I'm sticking this AU in a weird-ass place! During Katsuki and Izuku's last year of middle school!

So they're not in UA, but this is post-sludge villain so they're a bit weird, Kats is NOT dealing with the trauma well, and Izuku is still training with All Might.

This does mean they're not getting involved in the main plot of bnha yet, but they /can/ run into some characters on the adventures. (Maybe the Heroes are responding to the chaos the Cards make, maybe their future classmates are caught up in said chaos, hell you can toss a villain or two in because some of them might know things about the cards).

Also this is a CC-esque au so similar canon deviations exist. Like Katsuki being transfem but not actually out yet.

Card nonsense kicks off pretty early in.

So I'm imagining that Katsuki is having a Bad Time™ and just wants to be alone for a hot minute. Wanders off during the school day and ends up in some backrooms of the school library. Finds the book with the cards. All the cards except Firey excape(because this one vibes most with her). Kero appears and while Katsuki is like ?????? he gives the plot dump of 'hey! Magic is real! You're destined to deal with this shit!"

Izuku also gets involved because he noticed Katsuki sneaking off, followed like the little fuckin stalker he is, and saw the whole card scattering/Kero infodump thing.

Katsuki and Izuku are in a weird ass place right now because it's post-sludge but pre-ua. So Katsuki is trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Izuku and whether her life is a lie and all that but hasn't really had the push to confront all that. And at first she's pissed at Izuku but Kero is a decent mediator to this situation and it's. it's the first time any kind of adult(as much of an adult as a little cat bear thing is) has kinda. Taken control and firmly but kindly said 'hey knock that shit off' so it's easier for her to really just take a step back and take a breath and actually like. Properly be able to listen to Izuku because again: Kero is saying 'hey the guy was worried about you that's a good thing' instead of 'lmao he's worried about you he thinks you can't handle this show him you can through force!'.

bonus points for Katsuki getting dragged into Izuku's nonsense and finding out 'oh you met mcfucking ALL MIGHT and he's training you as a successor????'. Which. Yeah def spins everything because fuck it All Might is the ultimate authority on right and wrong so if All Might thinks Izuku is a good person worhty of respect Katsuki is switching it up right now. (and feeling guilty for everythig in the past so whoops more of Kero being like 'kid you're FINE!!)

Swinging over to Yue! I mentioned before but he was determined to handle the passing of the torch to a new holder better than the Clow-Sakura transfer he was going in optimistically but GOD he meets Katsuki and is like "THIS??? IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH???"

So like. He still does something similar to last time in hiding in plain sight to keep an eye on the new holder. I don't think he'll go full dual personality again because while I love Yukito that's A Lot. But also there's like.... There's not really anyone in Katsuki's life where he could slide in as a 'haha you're not going to question me being here!'.

Which leads to the idea of Yue basically faking being a teacher and is now on the Aldera staff but he's the only sane person in this place and is constantly on the verge of killing his coworkers because holy FUCK how do y'all treat children like this????

All Might gets dragged into this because Izuku has Katsuki meet him and tbh with Izuku helping Katsuki figure out the Card stuff they get into nonsense that's /technically/ vigilantism according to the law but Katsuki is the only one who can deal with the situation.

The actual collecting of the cards happens over that school years so Katsuki has all of them by the time she and Izuku go to UA (and also they're all a bit healthier about things both each other and themselves).

At UA, Katsuki initially tries to keep to just using her Quirk for this shit instead of the cards(though she's become used to using both in tandem). This only works so well beause ofc when bigger threats come out, she's not going to hold back out of some weird 'oh it's not fair to-' no people are in danger she's gonna use everything she has to save them.

So while we don't get someone Eriol-esque crafting situations, the Plot forces her to transform the Cards into her own versions.

[kanmom51]

JK's live 4 March 2023 1:47 am KST

Part 1

Cr./ to all the creators of the media used in this post.

This is a hard one for me.

It' took me time to sit myself down and watch the actual whole live, and I preferred to wait for the Weverse full translation before coming here to write my post.

I assume most of you read my post about JK's previous live, but to those of you who haven't:

JK coming back live more or less 24 hours after I posted that, still while discussing my thoughts I put down to paper in that post, that hit hard for me.

I know, as usual there were those wearing rose tinted glasses unwilling to see JK, not for real. Not in the last live and not now either.

I am glad many are taking to heart his honest words about being harassed by so called fans (he was so respectful even though these people deserve no respect what so ever, but that's JK for you in a nutshell), asking, pleading to be able to have the privacy he deserves.

And I saw many enjoyed the live, his singing, his dancing, Tae popping in, and it's alright. It's also alright if you can't see that not all is well. Even though it's screaming in our faces. Because even if you don't see it, just being there, showering him with positive love like many of you do is good enough. It's kind of the most that us fans can do in any case.

That and reporting, blocking accounts and people that are out to harass and hurt him and JM. Not share their disgusting crap. It's not about likes for our accounts, it's about trying to protect those two, make their lives a little easier, a little safer, allowing them a sense of security.

While writing these lines I came by the new postings from that deranged, supposedly not sasaeng that uploaded the clip of JK from the gym. Please do not follow this person. And if you come by her postings, please report them. Send to BH. I, for obvious reasons, will not share her vile posts, but she has to be gone, like yesterday.

Moving on.  I guess I'm here to talk about this over 2 hours and 20 minutes live right?

I’m not going to get into every single little thing that happened but I do want to touch on a few things.

First of all, the playlist. JK was singing his heart out during this live.  Like the first hour or so is mainly JK singing and dancing and going to get himself some water, and then some beer, and dancing some more and singing some more.

JK on a beer run.

He does some of that in the second half of the live too, but in that second half is where the interesting talk happens.  His plea for privacy, Tae showing up and JK talking to him, at him, not sure which.  Did I mention he inserted Tae's name into song lyrics too? Lol. 

The way he loves Army, I just cannot describe it.  We know he does, cause, and I’ve mentioned this before, he says it, writes it in letters to Army, writes songs for Army, cries for and with Army, and he does things for Army, to make them happy.

So, he sang Naatu Naatu and Indian Army were overjoyed.  He just wants to please us.  Make us happy.

I kind of think we should be doing the same.  As Army.  Sending him our love.  Showing him just how much we respect him.  See him for the person he is, the human being he is, and love him for it.  I know there is no IG now, but there is Weverse. And even for the smallest possibility that JK might see our messages, we need to keep sending them to him. You know #to_Jungkook.

Oh, and call out those that don’t respect him too. 

Sidetracked. 

That’s kind of my second name now days…

Anyways, here’s a link to the playlist from his live:

Ooh, and we got 10,000 hours again. You know, right?

That man is the cutest thing ever (well it’s a super close competition with his bf, but at the moment JK’s in the lead).  Oh, we also had JK farting, bless his heart (I feel like a mama with that joyous feeling after your baby burps and passed gas, lmao).  The way he waves his hand to get rid of the smell though.  And him excusing it with: a. he’s human (yes, he told us we fart too in Busan, we remember that); and b. it’s not his fault, it’s the gassy drink. 

Did I mention he was cute?  I mentioned he was cute, right? Lol

He kept doing these close ups to the camera, used the light from the live screen to check out where to put the batteries for his mic, lol.  Showing us his beer, showing us the candle, showing us himself.

We got JK and his ASMR candle (on and off during the live).

JK listened to Hobi’s song for the first time during this live.  Twice.  Going back to see the lyrics too.

Have we noticed by now that JK’s coat, JK’s stuff, seem to be laying on the sofa.  Like he just came in or is just going out or just doesn’t seem to give the ora of permanency?

This is a man that we know to be tidy.  I mean:

We know which suitcase was JK’s.  He literally showed us.

And he does have empty, lonely clothes rack just there, you know, waiting for his homey stuff to be hung up… unless, wait, this isn’t much of a home of his…

JK was talking with Army, checking comments, replying to them.  But he wasn’t playing the game, so to speak.  You know, the one where he seems to be available for them.  Do you know what I mean?

The three second or minute “we’re dating game”, he wasn’t up to it.

Someone asking to eat his cheeks (ewww, cringe), he wasn’t having it.

As I mentioned, and you all know by now, cause you know, no way the cult wouldn’t shut up about it, Tae commented during JK’s live.

JK’s reaction to Tae joining was nice.  Not overjoyed.  Not over interactive with him.  I mean, he did answer his questions, but was also that’s that.  He continued looking for songs to sing, then inserted Tae in the song he sang, went to see if Tae was still there, and he wasn’t, so his reaction was kind of “oh ok, he’s gone”, and moving on.

The comments above aren’t exactly in the order they were on the live…

Then he vocalizes - sings:  How fun, Tae Tae’s here…

JK’s asked to sing Lemon, and he’s going through the process of looking for the song, and just before the song starts this happens...

Tae comments about the beer drinking and gaining weight.  Yeah sure Tae, just the thing to say to the same person that was too skinny just a couple of weeks back and that his bf was overjoyed he was eating. 

But you see, JK doesn’t seem bothered by Tae’s comments, lol.

His answer is to the likes of “well, I have to finish off the beer in the house, don’t I?” – iron logic indeed, lol.

So he stops it a second to answer.

And once again he’s about to start when:

So, Tae goes on with “let’s have 50 bottles”.  This wasn’t him suggesting that JK drink 50 bottles.  Him saying there being 50 bottles (as in JK has to drink 50 bottles to get through them), to which JK answers that there aren’t even 10 can’s left.

I wonder if the cult paid attention to that chit chat.  Wouldn’t the bf they claim is living with him in that apartment kind of know how many beers are left in the fridge?  Ok then, not exact number, but seriously, there is a huge difference between 10 and 50, even for means of exaggeration.  Or if they are bottled or canned?  That is a bit of a difference in the fridge, which he supposedly shares, no?

Just one more of those little tiny winey things that disprove their shit.  Which they are full of.

And then JK proceeds to sing the song.

In which, at some point he inserts Taehyungie into his lyrics while looking at the monitor, checking the comments and says:

And continues to sing.

Anyways, once again one of those mate interactions they are so good at.  That’s them.  Good mates.  They are.  They spend time together, talk to each other, play games together, we’ve said it all before. 

But one thing they definitely are not, and that’s a loving romantic couple. 

Period.

To be continued in part 2, which I am going to post immediately after part 1 (Tumblr has become nasty again with the 30 image limit of theirs).