#also not tagging anyone bc idek if this is any good

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

writing this because my doctors office made me feel sad

this is purely self-indulgent. sorry if its not what anyone's looking for

shout-out to @chaotic-on-main and @levis-squishy-cheeks for helping me work through this today

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 1.9k

tw: implied suicidal thoughts, descriptions of depressive symptoms

notes: modern!au, soft!levi, depressed!reader, hurt/comfort, idk i needed this dont judge me

You had spent the night crying yourself to sleep again.

Prior to that, you had spent the entire day thinking that your brain was falling apart. Your mood went from 0-100 within the span of a second. There was no pattern. You'd be fine one minute and then swing to the other end of the emotional spectrum the next. It was exhausting.

If it wasn't for Levi and his unwavering support, you wouldn't be sure if you would still be alive. It was hell having to deal with this. If it wasn't for him, you'd be fully convinced that no one wanted you around.

Your eyes slowly peeled open as you stared at the empty ceiling above you. You felt like you were experiencing the world through a muffled filter. You heard and saw everything that was going on around you, but it felt like a lucid dream.

You couldn't move. Even getting your finger to twitch took all your energy.

Your eyes looked to the side and you saw that the sun was shining directly into the upper window.

You had slept in again.

Not only that, you had slept in much past the "normal" wakeup time.

You slowly tilted your head up to look at the clock resting on the edge of your nightstand.

2:00pm.

You had gone to bed the previous night at 7:00pm and then slept up until now. You haven't had a full meal in at least two days. You haven't showered for a week. Guilt tore away at what remaining self-love you had in you. Levi helped keep you together and you absolutely hated that he had to shoulder the burden that was keeping you around.

You turned back over to stare at the ceiling again, counting to yourself as you poured your energy into being able to freely move your fingers and toes. When you were finally able to open and close your fist at ease, you looked back at the clock again.

2:45pm.

You let out a defeated sigh. You weren't going to make it on time at this point. You had an appointment at 3:30pm for a bi-annual checkup for a medical condition that you had recently developed.

However, you figured that as long as you showed up in some capacity, no matter how little, you would count that as a win for the day. You could always just hop back into bed afterwards. All you had to do was make it in and hope the results indicated at least some improvement on your end.

~~~~~

"You need to lose weight. You need to exercise more. You need to get outside."

"Well, my depression makes that really hard so-"

"Losing weight will help with that. It'll help you manage your hormones and stabilize your mood."

You gripped at the blanket in rage, curling up into a ball, hoping that you would just shrink away and disappear. Getting up was a waste of time. The only thing that happened was you going into that shitty doctor's office to get berated and invalidated for an hour. Getting up was a mistake.

After arriving back home, you immediately dropped your stuff to the ground and climbed back into bed without even changing into your home clothes. Everything that had happened today made being awake for another minute seem like a living hell.

~~~~~

He knew something was wrong the minute he stepped through the door.

He had seen that your car had shifted its spot on the driveway, indicating that it had been used.

Levi looked forward into the dark apartment that you two shared, knowing that you were home. While he wouldn't have been too surprised at the fact that the lights were off normally, the fact that your car moved meant that you had gotten out of bed, left the house, and immediately went back in upon arriving home.

That in itself was already better compared to the past few days, but it didn't bring him any ease. Just because you made it out of the house didn't mean that you were doing any better.

Once he stepped inside and flipped on the light switch, he saw that your stuff had been haphazardly thrown on the ground, leading a trail into the bedroom.

He sighed, knowing that this behavior wasn't normal. Something had happened.

Levi peeked into the bedroom, a grim look appearing on his face once he saw you cocooned into the blankets. He slowly walked over and gently sat next to you, leaning down a bit so he could see your face.

"Still low today?" he asked quietly.

He heard you emit a quiet whine as you shuffled, burying yourself further into your fortress.

You hid in the dark safety of your bed for a few minutes before feeling the bed slightly shift and hearing your bedroom door close. You peeked out of the blanket and saw that Levi had left. Upon focusing more, you heard movement in the kitchen.

After about a minute, your neck started complaining from you maintaining your elevated position. Since you lacked the energy to fully readjust, you simply laid back down.

You heard the door open again after a while and you glanced over as you saw Levi bring over a mug of freshly brewed tea and a small bowl of soup.

Levi knew of the fact that you hadn't been eating properly for the past few days. While that thought was slightly distressing, he also knew he couldn't force you to eat—and he didn't want to anyway if it was just going to cause you more distress. Besides, he knew that you wouldn't be able to keep anything solid down in this state, so soup was the next best option.

You quickly buried yourself in the blanket again. Levi having to deal with you just lying around in bed was bad enough, but it broke your heart to think of all the extra effort he had to put in to take care of you. It only reinforced the thoughts in your head that continued to tell you that you were a burden.

You actively cowered as you heard him set the mug and bowl down before sighing.

He didn't sound annoyed, but he definitely sounded exasperated—or maybe exhausted. You couldn't tell.

"I made you tea."

You felt him sit down next to you again as your head poked back out. You slowly sat up, avoiding eye contact out of embarassment. While you wanted to continue hiding, you also knew that sipping on his brews provided you some of that comfort that you desperately needed right now.

You quietly sipped at the tea, while still avoiding eye contact.

"I saw the car moved," he spoke, glancing right at you.

You didn't answer.

You saw him tilt his head out of the corner of your eye as he spoke again.

"I assume you made it in?"

You didn't answer.

"It's okay if you didn't."

You felt your hand slightly shaking as he said that last phrase. He has said it over and over and over again whenever you were in these states.

It's okay.

He never knew if those words truly got through to you, but he went ahead and provided you that consistent reminder that no matter how bad things felt or how "useless" you felt, that you were enough.

You unsteadily placed the mug back onto the nightstand, still looking down.

"I did," you said quietly.

With the state he had found you in, and based off of how you responded just now, he was able to tell that it didn't go well. He didn't know the details as to what happened, but he didn't need to. All that mattered was that it went poorly and that you felt like shit because of it.

You felt him place his hand on your leg, giving it a gentle squeeze as you finally looked towards him.

"Almost everything was wrong," you whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Nearly everything that they could possibly measure was wrong," you spoke, your voice gradually increasing in volume. "Eating's wrong. Exercise is wrong. Even sleeping is wrong—and every time I tried to explain that it's impossible to keep track of all that when even dragging myself out of bed is impossible, they just ignored everything I was saying."

Levi quietly listened as you continued to describe your horrific experience with what was supposed to be a simple, routine check-up.

The past few days had been literal hell for you. It wasn't even that anything particularly bad happened. It was one of your occasional flare-ups that had been especially bad this time around. Your mood had been all over the place, your paranoia about everyone secretly plotting to abandon you had shot through the roof, and your self-hatred multiplied to the point that it was seething out of you.

"It's like the world just continues to tell me I'm defective. My brain's broken, my body's broken. Couldn't finish school. Can't keep a job," you said as you threw your hands in the air, feeling yourself getting heated and activated with every word you were saying.

You paused for a bit, taking deep breaths to try to calm yourself down.

"You're not defective, _____," Levi spoke.

You immediately averted your gaze. You didn't believe that for a single second.

Levi reached over and gently pushed at your shoulder to get your attention.

"Hey, look at me."

You didn't move.

He sighed, scooted forward, and gently grabbed onto your chin so he could turn you to face him. His eyes finally locked onto yours for the first time since he came home. He looked right into your eyes as he spoke.

"You are not defective. You are not broken."

You felt yourself wanting to shrink and hide again as he said those words. Although those words brought you comfort, they also stung, because they addressed your deeply rooted fears. You shook your head as you desperately tried to look back down and squirm out of his grasp, feeling tears building up in your eyes.

"A lot has happened in your life and that's okay."

He never took his eyes off you as he gently placed his other hand on the side of your face as a gesture of comfort.

"I love you for who you are and anyone else who questions you is a fucking idiot."

Upon feeling his touch and hearing those words, you placed one of your hands on his, using his presence to ground yourself.

You shakily nodded at him, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you saw his gaze soften.

Upon seeing your tears, he pulled you into a tight hug, giving you a gentle squeeze as you silently cried against him.

You were so, so, grateful that he was there. At this point, he was probably the only person in the world that didn't make you feel like a complete and utter disaster. You buried your face into him, silently wishing that you could stay here forever and forget all of the other things in your life that continuously kicked you back down.

Levi placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"Eat that soup before it gets cold," he said, slightly pulling away before pulling you in to a gentle kiss, wiping the stray tears off your face. "Depending on how you feel I'll take you on a drive afterwards. It'll at least help you get some air."

You gave him a small smile and nodded at him, slightly reaching out as he stood back up and grabbed your now empty mug to take back into the kitchen. As you watched him walk down the hallway, you felt that the heaviness in your heart had lifted ever so slightly.

You felt like shit. There was no doubting that—but the fact that Levi stuck with you despite all of your struggles, the fact that he has fully accepted you and loved you for who you were, and the fact that he has pulled through every time you found yourself like this was enough for you to forget your misery at this very moment, and simply allow yourself to be bathed in his comforting presence.

A/N: i'm leaving the condition vague so people can maybe relate to it better idk. sorry if this sucks, as i said its purely self-indulgent because levi fluff helps make me feel less bad

[bunnihearted]

i like actually dont want this blog anymore i've always loved my precious safe space but recently i've started to resent it...... but maybe instead of deleting it i should just log out and dont log in again for a while at least...

[reinedeslys-central]

when it's been so long since you've read a fic that you forget about it and you find it in the search tags and start reading it again

and it's great, if a little familiar, but you've read a lot of these sorts of fics bc you like this tag a lot, so you assume it's nothing

but then the deja vu starts adding up and you start to wonder

and then moments before the great big Plot Twist Reveal happens you're suddenly like ah hell this is the bloody sundial fic again isn't it

smh this has to be the fourth time yet

[ngelwaves]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

tysm @missatan for tagging me!! 🥰🫶🏽

1. are you named after anyone? not that i’m aware of

2. when was the last time you cried? yesterday 😭

3. do you have kids? no and i dont want any ever, i’ve heard way too many pregnancy horror stories and child crime stories

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? it’s like my second language, i can't help it 😭

5. what sports do you play/have you played? i played badminton in high school! my hs coach really wanted me to go pro but i couldn't afford a pro coach 😅

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? looks-wise, hair. but i also pay attention to how they are.. morally? like i pick up on weirdo behavior very fast.

7. eye color? dark brown, almost black. 😭

8. scary movies or happy endings? both. i LOVE a good scary movie and if it has a twisted or fucked up ending, i’m all for it. but sometimes i love a good happy ending or i’ll feel unsatisfied? or like i wasted my time lol

9. any special talents? i can dream in languages i’m not fluent in? i can paint? also i become extremely good at any video game i play (my bf hates it lol). idk if those are special 😭

10. where were you born? Texas 🤢

11. what are your hobbies? painting, gaming, writing, makeup, reading, dancing

12. do you have any pets? yes I have a dog named tina, and a kitten named spunk!

13. how tall are you? 5′7

14. fave subject in school? english and art!

15. dream job? it always changes tbh, i used to want to be a makeup artist, but then i got a little tired of makeup. still kinda want to be a professional badminton player but i’m so un-athletic now. then maybe a published author, or an established artist, but I also don’t want my hobbies to become a job. idek if i could do any of those bc mental illness lmao 🤷🏽‍♀️

tagging: @maleeni @armadoth @mrsimqle @meysims @444proxy @7intendo @sicckyyy @gentletrait @saturngalore @sikoi @simsadilla @serenityhex @retrgrd @rottengurlz @sparkilina (sorry if u already did it!)

[elysianymph]

thank you @ringaroundtherosier for the tag <33

named after anyone? almost everyone in my family is named after someone but my parents just picked a random name lmao

last time you cried? uhhh monday night when my entire feed was marauders angst (half of which i was responsible for </3)

do you have any kids? too young for that babes. also not sure i want any, but i suppose that might change with time

do you use sarcasm a lot? that's my default tbh

what's the first thing you notice about a person? either their hair or their outfit, depends on which one stick out to me

color of your eyes? green, but like a very specific shade i haven't seen anyone have (other than my brother lmao)

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings >>> i watch movies as a form of escapism so happy endings are mandatory unless i want to hurt myself. i do enjoy certain scary movies tho

any special talents? drawing i guess? i think i'm pretty good at art

where were you born? in a hospital in my hometown, it closed down less than a year after i was born oop

hobbies? drawing, painting, writing, listening to music, anything related to art honestly. i love making shit even if it sucks

any pets? not really a pet, but i do have a cat that i feed. we don't keep her inside but she's practically ours anyway. her kittens used to be here too, but they all died :(

what sports do you/have you done? i used to play handball for like... half a year?? my uncle was really good at it and it became a bit of tradition for all of the kids in our family to at least try playing it. none of us stuck with the sport though

how tall are you? 164cm, i think that's about 5'4? my friends make fun of me for it </3

favorite subject it school? honestly idek, used to be history but we've gotten to the boring part i don't like studying so... probably bosnian actually, i love studying literature (grammar will be the death of me)

dream job? no idea at this point. i wanted to be an animator about 2/3 years ago bc i have an entire story for a cartoon planned, but the likelihood of that happening is zero

no pressure tags: @moonagebooklover @queerdeadwizards @fefifofae @enbysiriusblack and anyone else who would like to join!! have fun <3

[seekdestr0y]

tagged by @antiquesintheattic yay i love having an excuse to talk about myself

are you named after anyone?

not first name but my middle name is my great grandma’s (maria)

when was the last time you cried?

DUDE idek actually and i do be crying tho uhhhh imma say last week it was probably from a sad tiktok LMAOOO

do you have kids?

NO WHAT THE FUCK

what sports do you play/have you played?

i swam i love swimming i haven’t swam competitively since graduating high school. now i just like to lift weights at home (im actually not that strong) LMAO but i wanna do muay thai bc ive been on my mma shit recently (well me n my family love combat sports my little bro does boxing) but i wanna do that or bjj but i don’t wanna take my piercings out

do you use sarcasm?

duh but not a lot in text unless i know you bc it’s easily confused bc OBVIOUSLY

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

THEIR SMILEEEEEE awwww well mouth i guess idk that’s usually what i look at idk why or eyes but im not to fond of eye contact to that’s like number 2

what’s your eye color?

blue, it’s actually kinda crazy bc my great grandpa on my dads side his whole family has colored eyes no matter WHAT kinda freaky even if they’re like more tan their eyes r hella blue

scary movies or happy endings?

BOTH????? I love everything scary movies with happy endings hmm but yeah

any talents?

no LMFAO i’m pretty good at drawing i guess cats used to be my specialty in high school cuz i’d just draw cat memes on sticky notes and give them to people

where were you born?

california BAY AREAAAAAAAAAAAA yeah yeah im cool as fuck

what are your hobbies?

none jk not really but i like to read comic books when i can im not that deep tho LIKE SUPER INTENSE shout out to you people who are tho bc i want to be like you. i just got house of x powers of x for christmaaaas so imma read that yay i also like swimming duh

how tall are you?

5’6” average i wish i was taller though

favorite subject in school?

SCIENCE i love all science ive been really liking chemistry bc that’s all i do but its cool actually or english i loveeeeee english lit super super fun i love writing essays so much

dream job?

i want to be an aquarist i wanna work at an aquarium SO BAD i love the ocean that’s why im majoring in marine bio yaaaaay

taggingggg @jwowwsboobs i can’t think of anyone else to tag im having a brain fart LMFAO and anyone else who wanna do it <3

[sojutrait]

( @itsmariejanel ) THE WAY ITS BEEN SO LONG IDEK WHAT THIS IS ABOUT but whatever it is IM INNOCENT I SWEAR

no literally, the thought of random ppl having my babies send me in a cold shiver, thats why all my sim dump sims are randos that im not attached to jdkdfjk 

( @lake-lunvik ) SHE HAS A GIANT GASH ON HER FACE AND THE EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE IS TOXIC, SHE’S ON HER LAST LEGS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY I FEAR-

i think its a bit diff than my og style (mostly the sims are actually good looking now djfhdjkf) but yeah! reject modernity embrace tradition kdfjd 

( @aomi-nabi ) AAAAAAAAA i swear ur asks make my whole day I HOPE YOURE DOING AMAZING TOO MWAHHHH 😭😭💓💓💓💓

KDJKDDKFJ dw i accept that compliment alot bc its a STRUGGLE making this game look playable sometimes i swear-

after the stds and fights i dont think thats a viable solution at the moment KJDFK 😭😭😭

its just a tag that i use to redirect to on my actual blog so u can see my posts and not shit posts, asks, or rbs

yeah she is!!

yup! his roomie is dove

STOPDFKJDJFKFKD both are taking upwards to a year- 

( @aurore95 @hadesdyke ) I LOVE HOW U BOTH SENT THIS IM CRYINDHGFJD thank u sm, now im gonna make it my life mission to find this shirt and buy it

autumn is het so i dont think thats a possibility 💔but they should def pull a john tucker must die  

thank u sm!!!

thank u sm for asking!! im doing great just ungodly levels of busy 😭😭

TYYYY literally all my sims have rue hairs atp, she cant keep getting away with it 

DKJCKD ive never seen bobs burgers but this tempts me-

maybeeeeeeee, but it wouldnt have links bc i did that Once and i nearly fell over and died 

( @aomi-nabi ) NO TYYYY going down memory lane was so much fun omg

tbh i forget its even a thing half the time so by the time i remember my sims have like 10k points so i blow them on anything. also lots of mods use the reward trait system so it makes it look like theres more 

( @lake-lunvik ) just for this, im going on hiatus again and never coming back. 

( @pixelpeephole​ ) i dont really have a system tbh, i just kinda periodically go around and check if anyones gotten married or had any babies lmao. also checking recent neighborhood stories helps out bc theyll tell me 

IKK every couple weeks i get a large influx of rbs of it and i just Know it mustve gotten around again 😭😭

NO LITERALLY, hes in the deep abyss of the halabi lore iceberg 

hmmmm probably never on here bc theres a subset of simblr obsessed with me and want my head on a platter who will probably print the pic out and cover it in the blood of a lamb or smthn (but ive face revealed in the among us server dkfjdk) 

SEE ive been hearing about it but i havent started it yet omg, def gonna tune in after house of the dragon wraps up and i need something else to watch djfdk

[lewishamiltonstuff]

Thank you @sirlewishamiltons for tagging me bestie. I wish a lot of Toto Ankles for you <3

are you named after anyone: Yes and no? I am the only kid that my father named out of us 4 siblings. He really liked my name. Plus, it is also the name of one of our Prophet's daughters. I personally never liked my name. Idek why. I, however, like my last name a bit more, so, I prefer using it.

when was the last time you cried: I don't remember actually. Oh no wait! When Lewis got that pole in Budapest. I cried profusely lmao.

do you have kids: No.

do you use sarcasm a lot: i can't talk w/o being sarcastic.

what sport do you play/have you played:

played: cricket, badminton, taekwondo, a lot cheerleading etc etc

play: is sleeping a sport?

what’s the first thing you notice about other people: hmmm.. this is an interesting one. I have this weird ego thing where I don't 'notice' notice people. I never form impressions of others bc i couldn't care less about them. However, once you've like arrived and sat in a room w me, i am gonna notice how you are sitting, if you smell good, if you chew loudly or breathe loudly, how do you talk to others etc etc. In short, manners!!! and etiquette!!! If we talk about physical features, i dont look at people. Again idk if it is an ego thing (even tho i am literally an ugly duckling) but i don't normally pay any mind.

what’s your eye color: dark brown

scary movies or happy endings: scary movies. Through and through. My ex bff and i loved watching horror movies together.

any special talents: I have really really really really good google searching skills in general and i am super good at stalking (like the one where your best friend asks you to find a guy for them, not the dangerous kind). I once found the socials of a man i saw for like a nano second and he had his face mask on btw.

where were you born: in hell (don't ask)

what are your hobbies: i like to read. I paint. I sketch. I am boring.

do you have any pets: no

how tall are you: somewhere in between 5'6 and 5'7

favorite subject in school: i dont remember.

dream job: something in marketing/PR/communications

[wooahaes]

.... ok, layton anon here again (I might just use that as a tag if that's okay? 👉🏻👈🏻)

I literally just typed out a long ass reply and then tumblr decided to crash - but maybe it's a sign to try and keep it shorter (update: i failed)

for the maze runner thing, it was honestly just about the "people appearing one after another without memories" I think aside from that it's very different, especially in terms of general atmosphere. I've read Day 1 too now btw and I loved it sm! I'm really intrigued to see how it continues<3

I hope your meds are safe for you to take and that they help quickly!!

yess him being like shigure would work really well (i also love shigure sm as a unit but that's a different story)

Also imma be honest as well - i'm the same. Birthright is the only one I finished and other than that I'm like almost through with awakening, halfway with echoes and revelations and idek how far with three houses. I think I get too much into strategizing and spend too much time planning out the classes and skills instead of just playing and then I tend to abandon the games for a while...

So since I'm not super deep into the story myself my 3h au isn't that deep. Y/n would take Byleths place, simply because it makes a lot of sense. And then I sorta assigned the units to the houses based on Vibes TM aka Blue Lions - HHU, Black Eagles - Vocal, Golden Deer Tiger - Performance.

I also felt that some characters shared traits or reminded me of members (Linhardt - Han, Ferdinand - Seungkwan, Sylvain - Mingyu, Claude - Hoshi, Ignatz - Hao). But they'd mostly be themselves and not take over the exact role of anyone. I've also have thoughts on classes for some but not for all. I think Woozi would be something along the lines of a General, Han would be a Dark Mage, Hoshi a Hero, Scoups a Swordmaster or Cavalier (or anything else just give the man a sword) and- yeah I think I'll end it here

thanks for letting me share my fire emblem brain rot!! have a good day/night/evening!<3

omg hiii thats absolutely fine!! i didnt want to just assign it to u but thats 100% fine w me!!

its ok i also fail at writing short responses 90% of the time dskfhdsf tumblr crashing during those is awful tho

ooo yeah fair :0 i can def see it!! ive learned a lot abt tmr through posting this fic lmao but im glad you liked day 1!! the fics gonna honestly slow down for a bit purely bc the next 13 parts are each individual members parts and those are honestly just gonna take a hot sec for me to like... be happy w all of them :(

aaa i still havent taken them just bc. anxiety bad! they shouldnt have any bad interactions since they're not a sulfa drug, but anxiety louder, y'know? im waiting until i know family is awake (yes ik its 4 pm shh) in case i need shit

i also love shigure but thats at least slightly bc of my love for m*tt m*rcer as a voice actor sdfhsdkjfh i adore him tho!! thats my beloved!!

i get DEEP in trying to figure out my units tbh i usually end up drafting out my pairings when i play. if awakening + conquest both had the ability to scout out things as easily as u can in birthright + revelations, i would have def beat them by now tbh.

but also i tend to abandon games after a while by accident sdkfhsdfh

i know little abt 3h but i am nodding along and golden tiger makes me happy. its what my man deserves <3

me lookin up these characters and sees ferdinand is confident and hates losing like YEP thats kwannie. i can see a lot of the comparisons u drew!! :0

i can def see general woozi + hero hoshi + swordsmaster cheol + dark mage han!! cheol is getting a sword and thats all i care about actually /j (nah but if i could give him some sort of rally skill, i think he + woozi + hosh would all have one in some shape!! and most likely seok too since booseoksoon leader ykno)

i honestly feel like shua would potentially be a war cleric. can heal you, but can also can Kill.

alternatively for hannie tho he could be thief -> trickster imo?

i honestly feel like vernon miiight either be a cavalier or an archer. its a gut thing tbh i cannot explain otherwise.

u are always welcome to share ur fe brainrot sdkfhsdf this blog is where i share my svt + trsr (+ skz tbh) brainrot now lmao y'all can Always share stuff ur interested in w me!! i hope u also have a good day/night/evening! <3

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[lanshappycorner]

About Art Reposting

I really hate posting anything remotely discourse-y in the main twst tag but this has annoyed me for a while so please read it.

@ all imagines blogs I do not care how good ur writing is if I see another one of you guys repost uncredited art in your hcs or x readers I will personally steal all of your bones

Images from Google and Pintrest are NOT sources either and almost every artwork is stolen (also pixiv IS a valid source but I feel the need to say that unlike twitter/instagram/tumblr/etc ppl on pixiv don't generally state "do not repost/reprint" but that doesnt give you the go to repost it anyways), stop stealing shit for your edits too you all suck

It's not even rocket science if u didnt draw it then don't post it, if I just copy and pasted your writing or whatever and posted it without stating that you wrote it how would you feel?? But like no one ever does that right?? Why is not ok to repost writing but it's ok to repost someones art that they spent hours on only for you to get notes on it bc you added it as what?? A little addition so ur post looks pretty???

I feel like to some extent it's ok to not know that what ur doing is wrong but it doesnt give you an excuse to keep reposting and ignoring everyone else when they correct you. People who reblog and like your work and don't call you out on your reposting are equally as guilty and I hope you guys all feel bad about it because you should. Also as far as I know, in the few instances when ppl repost artwork, twst fandom on tumblr has been pretty good with calling them out so why is it that this doesn't apply when someone is writing hcs and including reposted art?? Is it not reposting if you include extra content??? You can't pick and choose what you want to call out

Not to mention for artists that don't want their work reposted, tumblr is especially dangerous? Even if you edit your post and delete the image later, you can't stop ppl from reblogging the version with the artwork once they've already done it. It stays on their acc forever unless they delete it themselves, and at this point the artist has already lost control of their work and they can't do a thing about it. It's not like twitter where if someone retweets ur art, the moment u delete it, their retweet can't be loaded anymore. That's why even for me, although I hate some of my artwork, I'd rather keep it up than delete it because after I delete it I won't know if it gets anymore notes, and I lose all control over it.

Anyways if any of this sounds mean that's because I intended it to be, some of you guys don't use your brains at all, how you function on a daily basis idek. But even then, although this post was to dunk on art reposters more than it was to get them to stop, seriously I would like to say that if you are reposting, just stop. You don't have to apologize to anyone if you don't want to, you don't have to feel embarrassed about realizing that it was bad. Sure I yelled a fuck ton in this post but I want you to know that these things happen and at this point it's best to stop now rather than continue and be stubborn for no reason.

Fuck, even I reposted artwork for my fanfics when I was like 14, and I'm a huge advocate for not reposting art now, change is real and if you make the conscious effort to change then no one will insult you for it. I promise you that if your content is good people will view it regardless of the pretty artwork, and as surprising as it may be, a lot of people are more unlikely to view your writing if you include reposted artwork because you're literally a walking "I committed art theft" sign

[cluelesslesbian]

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

[aajjks]

Bts as your yandere fanboys pls

Disclaimer: This is a yandere reaction, it’ll contain obsessive behaviours, stalking, kind of suggestive, possessive behaviours, delusional thoughts and overall creepy behaviours! Mentions of saseang behaviours! Please keep in mind that this is purely fictional and I don’t think that any Bts member would ever act like like this.

A/N: Hi Guys! Ahhhh..,, okay I’m nervous, tbh idek why.. these few days have been hard for me school stress, my exams stress, the pressure on me is endless. And it’s a really bad habit of mine but I tend to take a lot of stress like seriously I take it a little too much that I get fever and get sick. I’ve been having headaches ngl. I know I’m being annoying but bear with me pls. You know, I was so frustrated with everything that I decided to delete this account. I fractured my leg I’ve been trying to get better and get on track. Sorry for taking your time.. but seriously if it wasn’t for @flowesona, my saviour I would’ve deleted my account already.. so thank u and I love you and I appreciate you🥺💕 so so much! She literally take cares of me like a mum!! Writes so many yan!jk content for me too! Thank you duckie! 💕 and also all of you guys too! I love you all so much, you guys make me wanna cry in a good way!! Seriously I love you all so much and I don’t deserve you at all! And also I forced myself to write this so I’m so sorry if this is shitty.

Masterlist:

_________________________

Jin:

Rich as fuck.

You are the only singer he’s ever been obsessed with like a teenage girl.

He invests so much in seeing you.

He’s busy but he has his secretary keep track of you. Your schedules and comebacks!

Supports you so much!

He even promotes you on his business meetings! He really talks about you to everyone!

He has your posters all over his company.

Yes it’s true.

Buys all of your stuff.

Travels just so he can attend your concerts.

Is really low key.

Listens to your songs!

He’s planning on buying your agency.

So he could become the CEO and contro you.

Jin is a possessive fan.

He doesn’t like it when you do sexy concepts.

Bc everyone can see just how much of a gem you are.

In his vision, you are absolutely perfect.

He doesn’t like it when you dye your hair. Don’t you understand that it can damage your silky beautiful hair?!

He hates your diet routine. You have to eat! A queen doesn’t deserve to be treated like an object.

You are Jin’s doll.

He will sue your entertainment agency just so he can have you.

He will make you quit the idol life.

He has a private investigator who stalks you and spills all the deeds to Jin.

You must remain pure and untainted.

Your cute concepts? He lives for them!

Jin is a really rich ceo, he can do anything he wants with you.

You gotta be perfect.

Yoongi:

You are his saviour.

Min Yoongi, it’s hard to believe that he’d be the fanboy type. But here we are.

What makes me say that? Well.

If anyone saw him alone in his room smiling like a lovesick fool and a photo of yours in his hand.

They’d think that they’re dreaming.

Because the min Yoongi hates every single celebrity.

But you know why?

It’s so simple!

They are not you. End of story.

Yoongi has been your dedicated fan since your debut. His sister was going through a Kpop phrase and she introduced Yoongi to the love of his life. You.

Yoongi has his issues. Fighting with parents! He found peace in you.

He related to you so much!

Your lyrics made him feel serenity! Your voice feels like an ointment to yoongi’s broken heart.

He loves you a little too much!

He marks the dates of you going live on every social platform!

Likes all of your pictures!

Writes songs dedicated to you. But is too shy to tag you.

Blushes at your sexiness!

Attends all of your tours.

You are his inspiration! You are his soul!

Has a secret fan page for you!

He literally just rambles and has various mental breakdowns over how much beautiful, caring, talented, sexy and cute you are.

You are his soulmate.

He’s got various lyrics that you wrote tattooed on his arms.

He even has a photo card phone case of you smiling ever so beautifuly!

He’s a stalker.

He’s too paranoid about you. So he’s just making sure you are safe from all of those crazy saseangs, right?

He’ll always protect you.

J-Hope:

YOU ARE HIS EVERYTHING!

I MEAN IT OK

That’s why I used caps lock folks!

Okay so back to the unhopeful tale..,

You are his moon, sun, clouds, flower, his happiness, his sadness, his reason to live and die!

He’s a really really really dedicated fan let’s get that straight, facts only.

This boy dies for you!

He knows all of your lyrics by heart!

Cries over your live-streams! Seriously spams you with hearts and heart warming comments!

Is your biggest supporter!

His day starts with you and ends with you.

Has learned all of your choreographies!

Kinda delusional though.

He thinks you and him are dating.

He’s your soulmate.

He is made for you and you are made for him.

You are his serendipity.

He’s your hope.

Pretty simple. Right?

Haha well,, no.

It’s Jung Hoseok we’re talking about ladies and gents!

He’s an extreme fan.

He changes himself to become your ideal type.

He’s way too long gone in your love.

He’s dangerous.

Be careful!

He knows literally everything about you. And by that I mean,

...

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

He has stalked you multiple times.

Steals your everyday stuff, like a bubble gum wrapper and even your hair.

NaSty.

HE IS WAY TOO OBSESSED WITH YOU.

Namjoon:

Now now, listen.

He’s hard to imagine as a yandere fanboy..

But my mind is way too messed up so this what I have in mind for my baby.

A REALLY supporting fan.

Like really.

Buys all of your stuff.

He really takes your lyrics into a deep dimension and literally follows them.

He could be in a Y/N fan club cult.

Literally worships you.

You know he tried to act all macho and cool but he’s clearly whipped for you.

His mum actually introduced you to him.

His mum loves Kpop. Like mine lol.

At first Namjoon was like; “eeh okay she’s nice mum” he really tried to shrug you off.

You were nothing special, really.

All Kpop celebs are the same.

Why were you even famous to begin with? He really thought about.

But that anti-fan turned into a diehard clumsy whipped one.

He loves to make theories about your songs and cbs.

Maybe you sent a secret message to him?

What if???

Anything can happen right?

Yes.

He’s pretty chill about almost everything.

But your scandles.. they make him insane.

Like for instance, dispatch once plotted a rumour that you used ghost writers for your songs and you are nothing but a spoiled bitch.

HOW COULD THEY?!

Namjoon couldn’t think straight, so he broke into dispatch’s hq and deleted all of the fake fabriced articles.

No one can talk shit about you and get away with that.

Your biggest defender on Twitter.

He downloaded all of the social media that you used just so he could praise and breathe around you.

He’s a intelligent man. He hacked your accs multiple times.

Dangerous. He’s also pretty dangerous.

Namjoon is selfish and manipulative.

Keep that in mind.

Jimin:

Oooh damn.

He’s WAY TOO EXTREMELY OBSESSIVE TOWARDS YOU.

He loves to pieces!

You are his goddess.

You saved him.

Jimin started to stan you immediately the first time he heard you voice blooming in the local cafe.

Jimin got intrigued and searched you.

But he slowly became addicted to you.

He’s literally the pure definition of the word ‘sasaeng’

I’m not joking.

He’s so scary and his obsession is really lengthy.

It’s lengthy than my entire syllabus for this year, which is waaay too long for no fucking reason.

But back to the topic.

His behaviour and dedication towards you is abnormal. Really abnormal.

Being so beautiful was your fault.

Not jimins. You made him fall for you.

You see, Jimin is pretty unstable at this point.

Literally he knows everything about you.

He takes the stalking to a whole new level. He once broke into your residence and slept on your bed, hugging your clothes close to his body.

You were absolutely horrified.

He even kissed you, more like made out with you. You’ve been terrified since then.

You see him everywhere

He haunts you like a shadow.

You even took a hiatus. But it was too much for Jimin to handle.

You started to recive blood written love letters. With the same handwriting.

Jimin cried every night alone in his tear stained pillow. He felt like his sanity was getting eaten away slowly.

Why were you so cruel. He loved you so so much. You two were meant to be? Was it too hard to understand.

Jimin started obsessively watch your photos, talking with your posters that decorated his whole big room.

Jimin has to get you back. No he couldn’t bear to live without you any longer.

So he stopped his madness.

Only temporarily.

Just do he can get you to come back.

Jimin is a really hard Y/N stan.

Istg—

Will you be able to handle this terrifying situation Y/N?

Taehyung:

Well well well.

Kim Taehyung is your king and you are his queen.

Tae could be described as the know it all, delusional and very possessive type of a fan.

He thinks he owns you.

But in reality you have surrounded his mind. He’s very infatuated with you. Your perfection.

Taehyung is the rich type of a fan who sends you, as I think, too much gifts. And they are all Gucci.

You don’t even like Gucci.

Tae of course knew that. But he has to make you like his choice. After all, he is Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung fantasies a lot about you. The way your eyes sparkle, the way your silky hair bounces when you move your hips swiftly to the rhythm.

So sexy.

You make Taehyung go crazy from desire.

Taehyung analysis your mvs, your movements that make go crazy.

He’s very observant.

He attends all of your events.

You are his babydoll! Why wouldn’t he?

Taehyung gets jealous easily though. Your dating scandal resulted in the guy going into coma.

His phone is full of your pictures, albums and vlives.

You make him smile.

You are such a sweetheart. Taehyung won’t let anyone ever have you. You belong to him.

He even fits your ideal type! Right?

He wants you to quit your idol life and be his wife and bear his heirs.

You’ve to be a good girl.

God help anyone who thirst over you or talks shit about you.

Legend is that they don’t get to see the sun again.

Ever.

Taehyung refuses to call himself just a mere fan. He’s your lover.

Your music calms him down. You are his everything!

He loves you a little too much.

You will be his soon.

Jungkook:

Jeon Jungkook. The sweet shy adorable fan. He radiates that energy.

He seems so sweet to you whenever he attends your meet n greets. Which is a lot of times. You’ve lost count.

You see him everywhere. In your social feeds, your favourite café which you love to visit in disguise.

But Jungkook seems to be like a magnet who attracts you anywhere you go. You thought it was a mere coincidence.

But, oh how wrong you were.

Jungkook has been drunk in your love since his teenage years. You are his everything. His Noona.

He really wants to marry you one day. He wants to be your man.

He dances to your songs alone at night!

He fills your feed with likes and sweet comments. You found it sweet actually. Until you met Choi Minho.

The shinee sweetheart. You two immediately hit it off. Resulting in a big dating scandal.

Jungkook’s phone screen has been painted with his tears continuously. I-It couldn’t be true right?

You aren’t dating that Minho right?

Jungkook couldn’t really tolerate this.

He did something crazy with himself. He carved your name in his wirst.

Which resulted in a serious matter.

His parents lackmailed you.

Simple.

Jungkook keeps track of your everything.

A lot of things.

Jungkook’s room is filled with your face. Even he has a tattoo of your name.

It’s a fucking shrine.

He beats anyone who critiques you. Or even your music. They absolutely have no manners of how to talk about his Y/N.

Jungkook is literally the epitome of a lovesick puppy. He’s a spoiled brat. His parents know about their son being here over heels over you.

As long as their son is happy no one else’s happiness matters at all. No even yours.

Jungkook couldn’t believe it. He finally had you.

Jungkook treats you like a fragile doll. He wants to be your dream guy! Just like you are his sweet fantasy.

His Noona. Only his.

[lilolilyr]

Thanks so much @cryhardanddanceharder for the tag, this was so much fun! And safe to say we both got some bingos xD

I filled it in with hot pink first, then went to ao3 to check and added the ones I hadn't remembered (but had also written) in a lighter pink:

Tagging, only if you want to do it of course ♡, a bunch of people bc I'm really curious whether you're also someone with many different reasons for different fic, or whether you write most for the same reasons! @nomi--sunrider @onaperduamedee @pers-books @ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au @raedmagdon @bookerandy @dauntlessdiva @smittyjaws @accio-baqat @startrekgeorgiouery @salzundhonig @cinnamonplums @badasspantiestalker @cookie-sheet-toboggan @apparitionism @purlturtle @sad-tunes @justanalto @banashee @lightdescending @ongreenergrasses @rupzydaisy @chateaupicard @blackacre13 @estel-of-irysi @deadcatwithaflamethrower

~ Please don't reblog, make your own post instead! ~

The fics to the reasons I wrote them (looked it up more just for me to make sure that I remembered right than as any kind of rec list, so I put it under the cut xD but if anyone's curious do have a look):

Fixing canon: Andromache ♡ Regains ♡ Immortality 🤝 Philippa ☆ Prime ☆ Lives

I just want them to kiss: everything Geraskier, quite some Andromaquynh

Idea won't shut up: canon compliant TOG vampires, also everything Lucyverse (tho I don't tend to finish those)

Found a prompt list: quite some in my 'prompt fill' tag

Everybody lives: Andromache! Regains!!! Immortality!!!!! ...also I think a bunch of different self indulgent trash fic to different fandoms?

Saw the plot: Andromaquynh AITA and everything in my rewrites collection

Was joking: the goddamn Becommissar watching ESC ficlet

3am ideas: many, many, many fics, eg my latest Bering&Wells piece

HOT: ...I did write some E rated fics xD

Scene: Milippa A Push Dearly Needed (literally written bc I already had a scene from a photo story)

Fuck this character: idk? I don't think I wrote a lot of bashing, if any? Well, I did leave this spot open on the Bingo sheet xD & didn't immediately find anything on the first few pages of my works either, so...

Pre-canon: Andromaquynh wedding & the one getting together fic where they don't immediately date... also literally all of my Shenzhou-Era Milippa is quite pre-canon

(Free Space) translation fic! Hpatlols

Spite: Mirror Milippa Terra Firma fix it

What if they were gay: all McDanno, also other very straight canon I'm Sure of it

Great line: idk? I have no memory, maybe, no idea... well, didn't mark this one on the bingo either :)

Suffer: I /did/ write some sad fics. even MCD, though few and short ones... but I don't think I wrote them /to/ make anyone suffer?? more like I had a sad af idea and felt the need to write it down

Gift fic: secret Santa and prompt fics under my 'prompt fill' ao3 tag

This verse, those characters: Luna Lovegood in A Little Princess, Stabby the Roomba in Good Omens, Stucky in the Son of a Preacher Man music video

Came to me in a dream: the absurd B*ellatrx/self insert fic. Yes, I had dreamt the entire storyline. No, my dreams are Not usually that coherent.

Idek: just the mood for most of my random ideas

Fixing Fanon: Andromache! Regains!!! IMmorTAlitYYY!!!!! espesh In Your Stead of course... (and many other fics too, also for other fandoms, not just this issue in particular xD) look I know that it's all tragic and a good story but. It's Sad? I Don't want Sad. Also in case I shouldn't count this for yet another thingy, I did also write some def not fanon compliant rarepair ships to different fandoms xD mostly ot3s

Post-canon: all Andronilynh fics basically. also the follow-up parts to Andromaquynh In Your Stead

if no one else will write it: Mirror Milippa Terra Firma Fix It (There was 0 fic when I went looking after I watched the ep!!! And no I think I didn't even watch it immediately after it came out!)

just to see if I could: all in my discord writing exercise collection (speed writing smut mostly), also: drabbles

[livelongdolan]

Teacher’s Pet (G.D. & A.D.)

Summary: When you encounter a new teacher your freshman year of college, Grayson gets a bit jealous but there’s another feeling brewing inside of you. *This is a fanfic including Grayson Dolan and Adam Driver*

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: threesome smut, spanking, choking, just everything honestly lmao

A/N: i sent morgan an ask and i could NOT get it out of my head so this is what happened (btw this is dedicated to her bc she’s my fellow adam driver lover @vinylhazza hehe ily, also to my best friend Joie bc she helped me with the storyline uwu ily)

Tags: @vinylhazza (idek anyone else who would like this but lmk if u wanna be tagged!)

     You had always had friends that were older than you, so when you got into college you already knew about one of the professors you’d end up having freshman year. You were majoring in anthropology and the one in charge of the class for the first year was Professor Driver. Your friends had snuck pictures of him in class, talking about how attractive he was constantly but also how incredibly strict he was. You never really understood their infatuation until you walked into his class for the first time. The way that his nose curved, along with his jet black hair and hazel eyes had you hooked, not to mention how broad his shoulders and torso were. Friends of yours knew that you had changed your mind about him but what you didn’t know was that your best friend and soon to be boyfriend Grayson had noticed too. He sat next to you in the same class and watched the way you practically drooled over the tall man dressed nicely in a casual suit. But it also didn’t help that you constantly talked with him after class about how handsome the older man was. 

     “Gray I’m serious I think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” The two of you are walking side by side after leaving the class and you can’t get your mind off Professor Driver. 

     “Really? You see me every day Y/N” He smiles, half joking. You playfully hit his shoulder and just laugh at his comment. 

     “Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on his body. His shoulders? Crafted by the gods Grayson I’m not even kidding. He’s just so…” you pause for a moment, trying to think of the perfect word to describe him “...big. Like massive. He could throw me around like a rag doll.”     At your comments Grayson pretends to throw up, slight jealousy brewing in his stomach but he’s not letting it show just yet. 

    “Y/N he’s our professor, you're gross.” He laughs but there’s slight meaning behind his words. You decide to ignore it and the conversation topic changes after a few more laughs from you. 

                                                               ~

   The next day the two of you walk into class, going through the classwork as you steal glances at the man at the front of the class. You make eye contact a couple times but look away quickly at each occurrence. After receiving your essay tests back from the week before you noticed that you had many more comments on yours than anyone else had, scrawled in purple ink. You showed your paper to Grayson and he gave you a look of surprise. 

     “Maybe he has a crush on you.” Grayson jokes. You shove his arm away and laugh, not realizing how loud you’re being.  

     “Miss Y/L/N. Care to share what you’re laughing about with the class?” Professor Driver’s voice carries loud across the classroom, booming off the walls into your ears. You instantly feel your face heat up at his comment. 

     “No Professor Driver sorry.” You mumble just loud enough for him to hear. 

     “Then I suggest you don’t laugh in my classroom. Keep it outside.” He speaks in a stern voice, sparking slight excitement mixed with fear inside of you.

     You simply nod in reply and smile at Grayson, making sure to stay quiet the rest of the class so as to not get in trouble again. After the lecture is over, you let Grayson know that you are going to stay behind to talk to Professor Driver. Although it isn’t his official office hours, you know he has time before the next class ends so he stays in the same room. You decide to take this opportunity to apologize sincerely for being loud in class as well as ask him about the notes left on presumably only your test. Walking towards his desk, you grip your essay in your hand and approach his desk where he is sat grading. 

“Professor Driver?” You ask, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N?” He responds, still keeping his eyes focused on the grading at hand. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry for what happened in class today. I’m just good friends with Grayson and we got carried away and I laughed too loud I promise it’ll never happen again I just-” 

“Stop. It’s okay. Just as long as you don’t do it again we won’t have any problems.” He interrupts. “Now is that all?” 

“Um no,” you pause for a moment, gathering your thoughts, “I actually wanted to also ask about my essay.” 

Before you can get any further he interrupts you again. 

“You know the rules. Talking about assignments is for office hours, not for time when I am working on your other assignments. You know where the clipboard is so sign up for a time and I’ll get to you.” The entire time he is still focused on the papers in front of him where you notice that there are no comments on anyone’s assignments, furthering your confusion. 

“But-” You try to speak before you are interrupted for the third time. 

“Y/N.” He says your name in such an intense manner that butterflies start up in your stomach. “I told you what to do. Follow the rules.” 

Feeling intimidated, you simply nod your head and make your way out of the classroom. 

                                                           ~

     About a week passes by before there is an opening in office hours. Since the professor is so strict about everything and grades so harshly, everyone is trying to salvage their grades. A couple days before you are supposed to meet, Grayson tells you that he needs to talk to you after school and that it’s very important. You meet him outside the library, where you usually meet, and start walking around campus before stopping in front of a small group of benches where people typically eat their lunch or study. 

     “Listen, Y/N, I need to tell you something. It’s been weighing on my chest for a while and even if it doesn’t turn out to be good I just need to get it all out.” He explains. You simply nod your head in response, allowing him to continue. 

     “I like you. More than a friend. I like you and I want us to be together if you feel the same way.” The words spill from his mouth quickly as if he’s scared of saying them. 

     “You like me?” You say in disbelief, not fully believing it since you’ve never seen him in that way before. He simply nods, shying away from saying anything more. “Why me? Like we’ve been best friends forever what changed your mind?” 

     “Well to be honest with you, when I heard you talking about our professor I got this really jealous feeling in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away so I just went home and thought about it for a bit and realized that I like you I guess.” He lets out a slightly awkward laugh. “And why shouldn’t someone like you? You’re beautiful, smart, and I don’t know I guess I just found something in you that I never noticed before when you talked about him. Sooo…”

     “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about you Gray, but I wanna explore this. I think it could work if I just figure out my emotions. So how about we just spend some time talking and stuff before becoming official?” You question, hoping he says yes because you honestly felt guilty about being so attracted to your shared professor still. 

     “Yes of course Y/N. No rush at all.” His smile is as bright as the sun at the news and the two of you continue your walk, the casual banter usually shared between the two of you having a new feel to it after his confession. 

                                                           ~

     The next couple days before your meeting with Professor Driver, you and Grayson spend almost all of your time together and you are definitely getting feelings for him. With each brush of your hands together or an accidental bump into the other, you feel your attraction growing to be as strong as his yet still not enough to be official yet. You had never noticed how attractive he was before all of this had happened though. Of course you had always known he was a handsome guy simply because his features were nicely arranged but you found yourself just wanting to look at him a lot of the time. A couple times he caught you, laughing and grabbing your hand to intertwine it with his as you continued whatever you had been doing. You were definitely in it now. But what about Professor Driver?

                                                           ~

    It was finally the day of your meeting with Professor Driver and you regretted wearing the skirt that Grayson had wanted you to wear for him, simply because you knew how clumsy you were and didn’t want to accidentally flash your teacher. Although in your mind deep down you knew it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

     After classes were over for the day, you instructed Grayson to wait at the bench right outside of the building so that you could get in and get out fast, returning directly to him. You made your way into the lobby, continuing down into the familiar classroom. Professor Driver was sitting at his desk on his computer, presumably putting in grades or something else having to do with all the grading he’s been doing lately. 

You knock slightly on the door and he motions to come in. You walk in and sit across from him in a plush chair with wooden arms, immediately putting your essay on the desk in front of you. 

“So I was just wondering about my essay test because I noticed that, at least from those around me, I am the only one with extra comments added. I got a good grade and the comments are positive so I was just wondering why mine has comments and others who did just as good do not.” You speak concisely as to make sure things are fast, not wanting to spend any more time around the temptation that is your professor longer than you have to. 

“Well, I saw that you have potential. The students I believe have potential, I actually put extra work into and make sure I add what they have done right and wrong to improve them as students and people. You just happen to be the only one with potential in this class therefore you are the only one with extra comments. Your essay was the only one to fully address each thing I instructed you all to address and with the work you do in class I see that although you do spend some time messing around with Mr. Dolan, you get your work done and you always hit the nail on the head.” As he speaks he almost unnoticeably glances down at your chest, where your cleavage was showing due to the low v-neck of your shirt. You take notice but leave the looks to your imagination, a red blush covering your face and moving down your neck at his compliments. 

“Thank you so much Professor Driver. I really appreciate your kind words.” You smile sweetly at him. 

“It’s no problem Y/N” he uses your first name once again making butterflies arise in your stomach. “Good girls deserve praise.” He is barely speaking above a whisper but you still hear him, the words instantly affecting you. You clench your thighs slightly to keep your arousal at bay. 

“What was that Professor?” You pretend as if you didn’t hear him, hoping it was just your mind playing tricks on you. 

He looks you up and down before gazing directly into your eyes. 

“I think you know what I said. I can tell by the way you’re clenching your thighs together Y/N.” It hadn’t registered that he was tall enough to see clearly over the desk. You immediately move your legs apart quickly, accidentally giving him a peek of the pink lace panties you were wearing.

“I-i’m sorry Professor I didn’t mean anything by it I’m kind of seeing someone I just-” Before you can finish your sentence, Grayson is walking up to you. You hadn’t realized that he’d come inside to check on you and heard what just happened. 

“Yeah you’re damn right you’re seeing someone. Me. So why are you” He looks pointedly at the large man sitting in the chair across from you “saying things like that to her? Doesn’t seem very professional of you to say, does it?” 

The professor is taken aback by Grayson’s words but simply looks up from his sitting position. 

“You’re simply too young to know what she wants. You can’t pleasure a woman without experience.” The words fall freely from his mouth as if he hasn’t a care in the world and he returns to grading the papers in front of him. 

Grayson’s mouth opens quickly in shock before he closes it again, responding angrily. 

“And what the fuck would you know about pleasing a woman? Don’t think you’re all big and bad just because you’re an old man. And not that you need to know, but I have plenty of experience thank you very much.” Grayson moves closer to you as he says this almost as if he’s protecting you. 

Professor Driver places his pen down before pushing his chair out from his desk and standing to his full height. Your breath is caught in your throat as you see how much taller the man truly is compared to Grayson. It’s not a lot but considering the circumstances it’s enough to make a difference. Grayson’s head tips back a bit as to make eye contact. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about so I’d be quiet if I were you.” The professor warns. “You probably haven’t even made her wet yet,have you? But I had her clenching her thighs together with four simple words. So tell me now, Mr. Dolan, exactly why you think you have experience?”  

Grayson is almost at a loss for words but an idea springs to his head. He reaches over to you, wrapping your hair around his fist and pulling you towards him causing you to let out a small whine at the pressure on your roots.  

“She’s mine. It doesn’t matter what the fuck you say.” Grayson’s eyes are red with anger. The bigger man steps forward so that you are now stuck between the two of them, tension so thick you couldn’t even cut it with the sharpest of knives. The two large men sandwiched you between them as angry glares are shared, the amount of testosterone elevating due to the threat of the other male. You looked between the two, having to tilt your head back to see both of their faces before you realized the expanse of their chests on either side of you. The way that they had you, you felt more like a prize to be won than an actual person. You weren’t complaining. 

“How about we let Miss Y/L/N decide? We can both fuck her and she’ll chose who she likes better. Although I think it would be a waste of time since we all know it’s me.” Professor Driver proclaims. Grayson reluctantly agrees as he turns you towards him. 

“Mr. Dolan. Go lock the door and pull down the curtain.” The professor’s eyes are trained on you as he says this, large hands moving down to your waist and pulling you towards him. “Gonna be a good little girl for me, huh?” He whispers in your ear, sending chills down your spine as you nod your head. 

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ do what you say.” Grayson argues, observing already what a grasp the older man has on you. The same man’s movements stop and he holds on to you. You look at Grayson with pleading eyes. 

“P-please Gray. Lock it and close the c-curtain. I need you.” Your words are filled with a deep whimpering hunger that you can no longer control. Grayson gives in since you said it and does as he is told. As he is walking away, the professor leans close into your ear. 

“You are allowed to call me anything you want. My name is Adam if you’d like to call me that but I prefer something a little more fun.” His lips are ghosting across your ear as he speaks, your knees going weak at just his words. Grayson returns quickly, grabbing your forearm and pulling you into his chest, before kissing you passionately. His lips are rough against yours and you can feel the anger in each movement he makes. Before you know it, Adam is behind you placing his hands up your skirt to take down the lace beneath. He rids of the small piece of fabric and lifts your skirt, large hands canvassing your ass before placing a harsh smack across it. You moan into your kiss with Grayson, letting him know the amount of pleasure you’re receiving from the admittedly more experienced man. 

Grayson moves away from you and pulls your shirt over your head, throwing it behind him along with your bra before kissing all the way from your neck down to your nipples. He takes one into his mouth, kneading and pinching the other with his other hand. While all of this is happening, Adam is removing your skirt and reaching his hand between your legs from the back to rub at your sensitive core which caused his hands to practically drip with your arousal. Before Grayson is done the professor pulls you towards him by your hips and turns you around by your hips, lifting you up. You wrap your legs around him, your core rubbing against the material of his button up, neither one of the men having gotten undressed yet. 

“S-sir please. Need more” You whine, burying your face into Adam’s neck and biting on the skin there. He lets out a grunt at your teeth against his skin. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” He reassures you, sweeping everything off of his desk and placing you on top. Grayson moves towards the two of you to keep himself included but he has no idea how to get access to you in the position that the older man has put you in. As Adam is unbuttoning his pants to be able to slide into you, Grayson takes his chance and moves towards you, crouching down after pushing the professor away and licking up the juices dripping from your core. Adam steps back, slightly impressed by Grayson’s willpower but still wanting to win you over. He lets Grayson continue, walking around to the side of you and moving your chin to face him. You come face to face with his huge cock and almost gasp in amazement of how big it is. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever seen.

“Open your mouth princess, take me in.” He demands softly, using his thumb to open your mouth for you before sliding himself in. The combination of him in your mouth and Grayson’s mouth fixed on you has you moaning around your professor so much to the point that after a bit he almost comes. He pulls out of your mouth and moves back around to where Grayson is. 

“Move.” He demands, feet planted firmly as to assert his dominance over the younger man as he unbuttons and takes off his button up shirt. Grayson heeds what he says and moves to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. 

“Do you want my cock in you, dirty little girl? You want me to fill you up, huh?” Adam asks, rubbing his tip up and down your folds to tease you before you answer. You pull away from Grayson’s kiss as he moves down your neck, gripping your hair tightly before moving his other hand to grip your neck. 

“Y-yes please sir. Please.” You are almost crying at how desperate you are to be filled, pleading eyes looking directly into Adam’s. He smiles at your begging and plunges all the way into you, making you shout out in a mix of pleasure and pain. Grayson comforts you, leaving soft caresses all down your body. He even tries to rub your clit when your hips buck up but Adam smacks his hand away, instead pressing his forearm against your hips to force them to stay down. 

“You say you’re experienced but don’t even know not to let her be such a greedy little bitch? Yeah okay.” Adam snarks, Grayson simply ignoring him and standing up so you could suck him off like you had done to Adam earlier. You open your mouth and take Grayson in as Adam pounds away into you in a way so good you can’t even begin to explain. Your legs are shaking with each pump he takes in and out before you finally are about to release around him. 

“You need to ask my permission to cum, baby. If you want it you need to beg it’s not just gonna be that easy.” Adam’s previously stern voice turned a bit sweeter at these orders, knowing it would be difficult for you to keep everything in considering how hard and fast he was going. You pull away from Grayson and he continues to stroke himself next to you.  

“Please Adam please let me come. Please I’ll do anything. Anything.” The last word comes out as nothing but a whine as you clench around him. 

“C’mon kitten. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He only goes harder and faster as he says it, both men now being close to finishing. Grayson soon finishes, his liquids landing across your chest and seeing him is what sets you off. You cum around Adam, your walls clamping down around him so hard that he cums as well. He pushes all the way into you to keep all the juices, both yours and his, all inside of you before pulling out slowly so as to not let anything fall to the floor. Grayson steps to the side, taking off his shirt and using it to wipe his cum from your chest before Adam moves to your face, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. He pinches your cheeks so that your mouth opens and spits straight into it, showing Grayson who really has control. You swallow what he just gave you and moan, legs shaking from how hard you came. Grayson takes a look at the older man and just laughs, observing the destruction they both did to you. Adam smiles in return before grabbing you and making you sit up straight. 

“So, who’s it gonna be? Who’s the better fuck, princess?” The professor asks. 

You pause for a moment. 

“Can’t I just have both?”

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you