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teacherimagines · 5 years ago

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My Tc Diary

Hey y’all. This is my tc diary from 2018 and I decided to post this now in 2020 since I don’t think my identity will be revealed from anyone I know possibly reading this. It was sooooo weird rereading this, seeing what my thought process used to be, and the silly things I thought were important. So much has changed in my life since this phase of my life, but I hope you enjoy!

M/N stands for my name. I am not gender specific in the anecdotes. I am bisexual, and I talk about having three different tcs in here. I just use they/them to talk about them. And when I refer to ‘my tc’ I am talking about my first tc (the one I am crushing on the most). The other two I only talk about in one divided section for each.

*ONE FINAL VERY IMPORTANT NOTE* My teacher crushes were always professional when I was around them, they did absolutely nothing to suggest that they liked me as anything more than just a student. I started writing this because I was crushing on them badly, and I needed a way that I could share the times I was around them that made me happy. I hold a very high respect for my teachers, and I am so grateful that I got to have them in class. I never did/would never try to do anything that would harm/intrude on their careers, relationships, happiness, and personal lives. My relationships with teachers are the way they should be, the fact that I was crushing on them did not get in the way of that.

My Masterlist

I was walking out of school today, and my tc was walking behind me. I heard footsteps but I didn’t know it was them! Anyway I walked out the door, and held the door for them, and they thanked me. Their ‘thank you’ sounded so genuine and nice, I nearly had a heart attack.

I had my first class with my tc at the beginning of the semester. During the first week of class my tc had to shout out names for attendance because they didn’t know everyone yet. But they knew me. They never said my name during attendance. It just felt good, to have them remember me after meeting them only a couple of times before. Especially because I’m crushing on them super hard.

My tc got really excited today in class omg. We are doing a project and we get to pick our topics. So my tc comes up to me like “What is your topic?” And then I told them, my tc got so excited. Their eyes widened a little, and they went into this little rant about how fascinating my topic was. I like to see them being so passionate about something.

Someone in my class has a pet snail, and they keep it in a jar and bring it to school. So they go and ask my tc if they want to hold the snail. My tc (seriously) asks ‘does it bite?’ I WAS LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL RN? I think it was cute because it was such a little snail.

My tc helped me write an essay today. They were super helpful, like, I was stuggling so bad, and they just helped me without making me feel like a complete idiot :)

OKAY IM SORRY OKAY TEMPTATIONS. I watched my tc put on chapstick today. Trust me, I wouldn’t watch it if they were looking directly at me. They were just staring off into space. *Note from future, I watch them do this quite often lol.

My tc said “good morning, M/N.” today! I said good morning back and was really happy. My tc also made a lot of eye contact with me today :o

I walk into my classroom today, and there were only two other students sitting at the desks. The class has about twenty students in it, and the bell was about to ring. One of the people in the room says “ooh, there’s a third one.” as I walk in. And my tc laughed and smiled and looked at me.

My tc was passing back papers and their arm accidentally bumped mine. Lol I’m dying inside.

When my tc lectures, they are very active with and linger their eye contact with every student. And I mean like that’s a good thing, but it makes me nervous when they look at me lol. OKAY BUT LIKE EYE CONTACT IS NOT OKAY. It is okay. But it makes me not okay. Especially when I’m trying to concentrate on the lesson, I just keep thinking back to five minutes ago when their eyes met mine and I felt all gooey in my tummy.

Got a paper back and on the top it said ‘good work M/N!’ in my tc’s handwriting. Felt good lol. I literally stared at my name written in their handwriting for like ten minutes. I need to stop. *not from future- I kept ALL of the papers from their class.

My tc will always ask the class something opinionated, and they will always make sure that everyone answers the question. And if it is regarding something that has to do with us being comfortable (ex: someone making a joke that is slightly controversial), they just make sure that everyone is really okay, no bs. OMG I FOUND A TEACHER WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT THEIR STUDENTS WELL BEINGS. And I may or may not have a massively obvious crush on them.

I saw someone (a student) flirting with my tc today. This person is a MAJOR flirt. I know that they would never actually date my tc so I am not really worried about it. But they interrupt class a lot and flirt with them. IT IS SO OBVIOUS OMG.

I was walking in the hall today, and I saw my tc. They looked at me really quickly but as they walked closer they just stared at the floor lol. They do that a lot. Also, on another day, I was standing in the hall talking with my friend and my tc walked passed us. I know they looked at me- even if it was only for a second- I could feel it.

How can someone be so alert, friendly, and attractive at the beginning of the school day?

Today I was sitting doing my work and my tc comes over to my desk. They ask me how I am doing on the assignment and I said I’m doing okay. They stand by my desk, looking at my paper for what felt like a minute. I felt so awkward so I looked up at them with a face that said ‘need something’? Then they nodded and walked away. Like okayyyyyyy I’m not okay.

Every damn time I say ‘thank you’ to my tc they say ‘of course ‘my name.’ AND I AM LITERALLY MELTING RN MELTING

My tc learned a few fun facts about me today! Also, almost no one in my class believes in sasquatches (even me), but my tc does. And they got so frustrated because they said that sasquatches are ‘tangible’. Plus, they asked me where I see myself in ten years and I said I have no clue, and they were like ‘okay so you have like what, two years left to figure the rest of your life out?’ THANKS TC THANKS A LOT

My tc asked me if I had anything to share with the class today, and I said no lol. They asked another student and they said no too. Lol. Then my tc said ‘I shouldn’t let you all say no to me.’ Haha I’m dead.

I saw my tc with their significant other today. I feel really sad, and I really do care about my tc’s happiness, it just makes me sad that I can’t be that kind of special to them.

I saw my tc run today. I feel so blessed.

My tc said I did really good on writing my essays, and thanked me for handing them in. also—MY TC SMILED AT ME TODAY AND THEY ARE SO CUTE AND THEIR SMILE IS SO CUTE IMMMM DEADDDDD. Their smile was literally like this :)) They don’t usually smile at me, Idk why, but like I am also wondering what put them in such a good mood.

My tc gave me a letter today. At first I was like- woah?. Then they told me it was an invitation (from another teacher) for taking a AP course in their subject next school year. I was like ‘ah thank you’ but inside I was screeching (THE LETTER WASNT EVEN PERSONALLY FROM THEM WHY AM I FREAKING OUT??). Even though they won’t be teaching the course (they are moving schools), I want to make them remember me as someone who wants to excel in their subject (so I will take the course, plus I was planning on it already with my guidance counselor). Also, this means that they had a conversation with another teacher about me. So they probably thought of me recommended for me to take AP? This makes me happyyyy :)

So today my tc asked me if I read the letter they gave me. I said yes. They asked if I signed up for AP and I said yes. They got so happy omg- I was like trying to be chill (so were they). They said “that is so good ‘M/N’, you would make a really good fit in that class.” Then they kept smiling at me- I couldn’t concentrate! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT MY HARD WORK IS STARTING TO PAY OFF, AND MY TC IS RECOGNIZING THAT.

My tc gave my class a free work period and I was caught up on my work. Usually every night I try to read at least one news article before I go to bed, so I stay up to date on things (ya know, like nerds do). I didn’t get to read last night so I read some news in class. My tc comes over to see what I am doing and asks me “M/N, are you reading the news?” I nodded. Then they said “that is a very good use of your time.” Lol I wasn’t even doing the work they assigned. Then they come over later in class and ask me if I read from The Atlantic. I told them no, and they were like “I think you’d like them, they have very in depth articles. There’s this one a teacher showed me this morning about Donald Trump, and how he won the election, it was really good. You can let me know later if you’re interested in reading it.” I was like OKAY with a big splash of happiness. I want to read the article they suggested, but I was like hesitant to ask them for it, so I am just going to try and find it on my own lol. *NOTE from future, I read this website a lot now because it makes me think of them and it’s like, what if they read this article too?

MY TC SNEEZED TODAY AND I WAS LIKE AHHHH

I saw my tc in the hallway this morning and they said “good morning M/N.” They were carrying a cup of coffee, and that’s when I got to see how they drink their coffee-with a lot of creamer.

OKAY WHAT IS GOING ON? There’s this other teacher I have. My friend says she likes them. I thought I didn’t like them that much, and I expressed that to her. BUT THEN they start giving me this eye contact, and joking during class. And one day they try helping me on an assignment and LITERALLY THEIR ARM WAS TOUCHING MINE. I didn’t want to be rude and move it, and THEY JUST LEFT IT THERE. I have little physical contact with humans- I’m weird like that- I don’t usually like it when people touch me, there’s really no reason for it besides it is what it is. But I was fine in this situation. They also make a lot of conversation with me. Then I saw them in the library and they looked at me and smiled- they are gorgeous. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ABOUT LIFE ANYMORE. I thought I was only crushing on my original tc, but that’s changing now?¿ I think I take simple situations and go crazy with them, but STILL. So much more has happened between me and this teacher than me and my tc, but I still like my first tc more. ALSO, they bite their lip when they are concentrating on something difficult- I am swooning. *NOTE- I had a dream (rated R) about this teacher. WHATWHATWHAT? Today, I walked passed this tc and it LITERALLY felt like slow motion- and they kept eye contact with me as they walked by.

I’m hormonal. There’s this other tc I might have now. They are a different gender than my other two tcs. I like them a lot and I had them in a class before but I never thought of them like this. I realized that I have a lil crush on them today when I passed them in the hall and had some small talk. I thought wow, they’re a good person, they teach really good, they just talked to me like a normal person, and they’re attractive. MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING I HAVE LIKE THREE TCS NOW AND NO ONE IN MY LIFE KNOWS?

Today was my last day with my tc :(( it was kind of bittersweet though. They never really gave anyone a formal goodbye, but we did have a good conversation (which is the longest one I have ever had with them). I was on the computer doing a research project for a vacation to Italy. I was exploring around on google maps and they come over and ask me ‘where are you looking at?’ And I say Venice. So I zoom out and show them Italy from a map view, they talked about Italy, and just Europe in general. I then told them that I have been to Paris and London before, and they thought it was cool. Then they told me about their significant other who has traveled to London for a semester at college. Then they told me about their dream vacation to southern France, to see the lilac fields. They said ‘That would be my picturesque vacation.’ I WAS LIKE AWWWW (internally lol). I like flowers a lot, and I am pretty sure my tc knows that bc I wear clothes that have flower print, my backpack and pencil case is flower print too. And now that they told me that they like flowers too- I am just so happy! I have a lot in common with this tc, and it saddens me that this was our last interaction :((

#tc imagine #imagine #crush imagine #tc community #tcc #tcc imagine #teacher imagine #tcc blog #teacher crush #teacher crush imagine #imagines #crush

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prevsapphism · 7 years ago

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all right but the fact of the matter is, margot is inherently selfish. thats it. end of. for the most part ( and this distinction is important because im gna follow it up like rn ) she will always put herself first and think of other things / the world round as how it pertains to her, though on a lvl thats mostly internal.

i dont think its immediately visible, because margot is an introvert and her penchant for talking ppls ear off tends to surface when other ppl approach her or when shes approached someone one-on-one, but it crops up in smaller ways.

the first one i can think of and probably the way thats the most common for is that she uses ‘i’ statements a lot, esp outside of teaching, because her subject of romanticism dictates that. she not talk that way. for example, whereas someone else wld say ‘my name is x’ to introduce themself, margot is more likely to say ‘im margot.’ where someone else wld say ‘we shld get something to eat’ margot wld probably say ‘im hungry.’ you get the idea.

most of this is just margots nature as a person, but its influenced in part by three factors: being an introvert, her being an only child surrounded by academic adults, and her being a Gifted Child™.

being an introvert, esp in margots case because she hasnt got that many close friends, you spend a lot of time w. yourself. thats how you recharge. margots line of work dictates that she has a decent amount of social interaction every day working in the behring centre and lecturing / teaching. while that means it takes more to tire her out, she still tires out. she still needs to go home or somewhere else by herself and Recharge. so by nature, a lot of her thoughts alone tends to b about herself and how the world pertains to her.

and being an only child growing up surrounded by adults in academia-- her dad was an ecologist and most of his friends were professors and other scientists-- meant margot spent a lot of time alone and ended up thinking about the world with regards to herself etc. but that also meant that since she didnt have many friends growing up, if she wanted attention or companionship, she cldnt wait for the adults she grew up with to come and include her. because you know how adults in academia r. most of them r Cliquey and only wna Echo Chamber and talk amongst themselves or ppl who think the way they do. anyway she almost always had to shoehorn herself in front of the academic adults that made up her family and ext family and Make Them Pay Attention to her and even then it wasnt guaranteed to work. being a Gifted Child™, esp in margots case, being a Gifted Child who knew a lot about Bullshit like toxic plants or a very specific area of history, margots parents and their Stuffy Nerd Friends who taught at ivy leagues and conservatories and stuff in the late 60s and early 70s, pretty much expected margot to Entertain Herself with her Giftedness. that probably doesnt make much sense so heres how a lot of margots home life as a child went:

margot, coming down the stairs from her room and standing right in front of her dad and his colleagues holding whatever plant had grown the biggest from her room: dad!! come look at [ named plant!! ] he has three littler plant children now!! i grew him all by myself isnt that [ super long synonym for great ] ? that means its gna get to b enormous / gigantic / immense!! look at it!! look at it!!!! look!!!!! the littler plants even have leaves and roots of their own!!!!! can you come help me move [ plant] to a bigger pot so hes not so crowded?

margots dad, only glancing at her for like a second: thats great sweetie. ill help you move it later. [ Stuffy Nerd No. 1 ] and [ Stuffy Nerd No. 2 ] and i r trying to figure out / fix [ ecology issue. ]

margot, angrily: >:( but if i dont move him hes gna get crowded and die!!!!!!!

margots dad:

margot: and all his children r gna die too!!!!!!

one of the Stuffy Nerds: :-/ you shld leave us alone. your father is working rlly hard to figure out / fix [ ecology issue ] . youre smart, why dont you go tend to your other plants / grow some new ones / read a book?

so she wld spend a lot of time on her own because her parents and their friends basically gave her the impression that she annoyed them so they didnt wna spend time w her. this also didnt make margot many friends at school, because she knew a lot about things most ppl round her age didnt rlly care about and there wasnt much by way extracurriculars where she went to school. also shoehorning herself into spaces doesnt rlly look good on ppl when you come from money and go to school w other ppl from money who had siblings and / or didnt act the way margot did or like what she likes. in terms of ppl, the person margot prioritises herself because no one else did as a child, so its habit now.

#🎀💌understand the things i say / don’t turn away from me. ( margot’s canons. )#good gods i think this is my longest canon

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