#also my wifi was out for 4 days lmao but i got this done and continued work on the mythic knights outline!

[slytherinshua]

I seem to remember watching spirited away when I was really young, but I hated it for some reason? I think that I may have found it slightly scary lol. I then watched Howl's last year and was instantly blown away by the art style and animation! I started watched castle in the sky with my friend during class once lol, but the WiFi always would cut out around 4pm so we never finished it in class lol. He has recommended that I should watch Kiki's and Princess Mononoke too. I think I've seen people talk about Ponyo, is that a studio Ghibli too?

I'm actually so excited!! I am glad it's only 2 weeks away, I don't think I'd be able to wait any longer lol. It's inevitable that they'd be enlisting at some point, but I don't want it to be so soon 😭. But also at the same time, the sooner it's done the better! I'm so glad that Yechan and Sangyeop have already completed theirs though, at least it won't be everyone going away at once! (I'm so glad I'm not a Korean male though, just the thought of having military service constantly looming over me scares me so much, I wouldn't survive a day in the military lol)

I'm still going through all of Hyunsang's music, but it's been so good so far!! Although I will admit, I did have to stop listening for a bit because it was so melancholic and I needed to cheer myself up before I had to meet up with friends lol (I needed all the positive energy that I could gather to get me through a very social dinner lol). I am still ready to hunt down whoever hurt this precious man if you are ahaha

that makes sense cause spirited away does have a lot of kinda creepy things in it lmao but it's seriously such a masterpiece!!! yes princess mononoke is so good too!! i'm not feral for ashitaka i promise (lies just look at him)

yes its ghibli as well!! i literally grew up watching totoro or ponyo every single day like that's the only thing i would ever want to watch and i never got tired of them lmao.

yeah... it sucks but at least it'll be over with soon and they'll be back :( i heard some walwals say that the 4 birds in the birdcage are like 2 staying and 2 leaving.... aka military :(( LIKE OMG STOP 😭😭😭 no that's so real like the thought terrifies me??? cause i have no strength in my body idk how they do it like damn... navy scares me even more cause the ocean SCARES me SDKJSD

yeah no i'm right there with you... i can't listen to hyunsang some days cause i will get so sad and just cry 😭😭😭 like i'm listening to his covers rn and i just love how before he starts singing he takes a deep breath and idk his eyes look so sad i just feel like he holds so much emotion and feeling in his body and you can really tell how he perfectly executes that in his music :( every song of his is just so incredible </3 (that's why i like listening to his osts sometime to get a break from the emo music lmao i swear that's the only time you'll hear him singing upbeat love songs) i'm ready whenever i would die for him istg WHO HURT HIM 🦅🦅🦅 idk whether to be thankful or sad cause without it i wouldn't have any of my favourite songs but still.... hyunsang :( ugh he's so perfect his voice is EVERYTHING

[brokenhardies]

MYTHIC KNIGHTS TEAM + MOODBOARD

Cody Suarez/Mythic Red Ranger

Reed Yun/Mythic Blue Ranger

Sierra Russo/Mythic Yellow Ranger

Nico Katsaros/Mythic Green Ranger

Molly Downes/Mythic Pink Ranger

picrew found here

TAGLIST

@seize-the-droid @anotherunreadblog @ocfairygodmother @kazinejghafa @eddysocs @foxesandmagic @seymours-secret @witchofinterest @akabluekat @booty-boggins @anna-phora @starcrossedjedis @bravelittleflower @jewelswrites-ish @ryutabas @thecaillic @fuckitup-in-style

[khaleesiofalicante]

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #400

“it’s an age-old story: the first will be last, and the last will be kings  /  the small will be great, and the great will be weak”

Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom; I thank her every time she cooks for me/us, and I really do mean it. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Somewhere around a month. What was the last thing to really surprise you? My brother has a fiancee and is having another son! :') Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Idk about anything notable. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. What is the last thing you had a craving for? A donut. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? It's so rare that I buy things with my own cash that I really don't know. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? Venus' terrarium on my own. Mom has to help me with buying it. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I don’t cook, so. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? More than anything, I get sad over how much weight I've gained. I was so healthy once upon a time. It also just makes me miss my childhood. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I believe it was about setting up an appointment with my therapist. How do you get your news? Facebook articles, really. What do you think about lizards? I love them! I was that kid that always tried to catch them when I saw 'em. Now I just observe because I don't want to terrify them by trying to pick them up. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No, but sure, I'd do it. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The time I received morphine, it did jack-all for me. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm... I would say Azeroth from World of Warcraft, but too much shit goes down, ha ha. Perhaps the top of the temple in Shadow of the Colossus? So long as I could have someone I love with me, I'd be in Heaven. Although... I doubt there's WiFi there, so I might drop that answer, lmfao. I really don't know. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Day. I need the natural light of day sometimes, and if I wanted to sleep, I could just find shade. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Fantasy. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s one thing that you wish was real? Friendly dragons, haha. Is there anything (show, comedian, etc.) that you constantly quote or make references to? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have absolutely no idea. I don't even remember almost any of them. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, sometimes. I genuinely don't mind her. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? I'm torn between the violin, harp, and piano. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, by a year. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? A lot, actually. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? I have these tictacs I keep in my purse in case of a dry mouth. Medication makes me have that severely, and my psychiatrist recommended me to always have a hard candy available to suck on since it forces salivation. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? My younger sister, badly. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They're all dead, but they lived in far away states. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? None. It's a bad idea to keep chips in this house, haha. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Well, I was born with dirty blonde hair like my dad, but my hair is thick and more similar in color now to my mom's before the cancer completely drained the color. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH MY GOD LA;KSDJFAKLWJE I DON'T KNOW I LOOK AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Teared up, yes, multiple times. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but that's the extent of it. If you were adopted, would you want to know? At this point in my life, I don't really know. I kinda find myself leaning towards no. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman sure does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? I want to say that was the night before I was getting my tattoo redone. Do you own any flip-flops? Yeah, considering they're like... all I wear, ever. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) It was the only lucid dream I've ever had and I'm not complaining about it lmao. Have you ever had a dream that upset you or made you cry? Oh I'm sure. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not to my recollection, no, and I don't believe you should ever adopt that mentality and say that to someone. Do you own a laser? No. Is there anything you like to put on a sandwich, that some might find odd? Nah. I do enjoy a layer of potato chips on some sandwiches, like ham and cheese, but I know that's like an actual thing some people just like. What colour are the shoes you wear most often? They're black flip-flops. When was the last time you were required to put on a mask? In the morning when I go to the TMS office. And what colour was the last mask you wore? It's one of those normal blue and white medical ones. The last time you were in a queue, what were you waiting for? To see the woman who would give me my APAP mask. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes, Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? None for the first shot, but my second shot bruised badly and I felt seriously shitty the following day. I was perfectly fine afterwards, though. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara has an AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING voice. When was the last time you wore make-up, if ever? What shades/colours? I don't even remember, but I'm sure it would've been black. What is something that seems popular, but doesn't interest you personally? Fashion, various TV shows, etc... Are you clumsy or graceful? I am STUPID clumsy. Like it's just ridiculous. Do you like gloves? I like fingerless gloves. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did as a kid. Do you ever say "OMG" in person? No; it's a random pet peeve of mine, "Internet talk" irl. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Dad, no idea. Mom, uhhhh. Not "mad," but "annoyed" probably better fits how she felt about me leaving the heating pad I use for my cramps on the floor. Do your pets have favorites? I'm definitely Roman's favorite seeing as he is my literal shadow, and I'd assume Venus trusts me more than anyone else, but realistically, she's in contact with almost no one else, so. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? The first guy to have the title of "boyfriend" was Aaron, and I broke up with him 'cuz I just wasn't as romantically into him as I thought I might be. It was puppy-dog love, and I feel I knew that. My first *real* boyfriend was Jason, who broke up with me because my mental illnesses began to affect his wellbeing. Which I now accept is fine, but he seriously coulda gone about things differently... When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Late into my teenage years; idk the exact age and don't feel like doing the math. Teddy kept peeing on the bed to where it was just unrecoverable and needed to be thrown away. My current bed is comfy enough. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? My absolute favorite was digging tunnels in the sandbox, pretending to be a meerkat. The only trend I ever created, haha, seeing as my classmates got into it with me, allowing us to make huge tunnel systems. It was really cool. I also liked playing 4 Square (which I now don't even remember the details of) on the basketball court. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driver's ed instructor and the guy who was on the same route as me. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? N/A Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any as pets? I'm picky with dogs. I like interacting with any dog, but I don't plan on ever owning another. I don't like how hyper they can be, and I prefer more independent pets, like cats. Basically, I'll be hyped to meet a random dog on the street and give it some loving, but I don't want to take it home to be my own. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No. I cannot stand elitists. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? And I hate gatekeeping in fandoms even more. There are varying intensities of "being a fan," but regardless, if you like something, congratulations, you're a valid, "real" fan. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I don't pay attention to this, honestly. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? I'll wear either, but without is way more comfortable. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? God no. What length do you like your shorts to be? I don’t wear shorts. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Warcraft, but not because it was bad. I've talked before how in the theater, the orcs' voices were just so fucking baritone that I couldn't understand almost ANYTHING they said. Kinda ruined the experience for me. What was the last disappointing book you read? Don't recall. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Very rarely. If I do, they're mostly of animals being silly. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Probably Dory, but idk. There's WAY too many options to fish through.

[purplesurveys]

1127

1. What is one thing you will never do again? Watch The Hours. Film itself is great, but is way too triggering.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? I’d take happiness easily. It’s not bad for the most part to make mistakes and I’d rather be too clumsy than be altogether miserable.

3. What happened the last time you cried? It was the day of what would’ve been our anniversary and at that moment I was alone in my car at a parking lot (waiting for the office to open) on a gloomy day. I just had to cry and let my feelings out for like 5 minutes to accept everything but I was immediately fine afterwards, haha. Grief can be funny.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? My first job interview. It was my first adult thing ever. They never got back to me - very professional of them - but I was still grateful for the experience nonetheless.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? That I was in a whole ass relationship for technically 6 1/2 years. They probably have an inkling by now, but only about me being in a relationship. I’m sure they would be very surprised if they ever found out how long it had actually gone for.

6. What’s your worst habit? I pick at my toenails when I’m nervous or stressed. I tend to do this when I’m doing a work task that I particularly dread, and sometimes I’ll end up being fixated on the habit for like 10 minutes straight and not get anything done.

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Time travel, just to take quick trips to multiple decades and see how life was like during those times.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? Matty from 13 Going on 30 would be one of them. Albert Finney’s character in Two for the Road is also charming as fuck.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? If money wasn’t an issue, probably somewhere cozy in like Switzerland or Canada.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? Not necessarily a pet peeve but I get extremely uncomfortable when someone hands me a gift then they insult the gift while in front of me, saying it’s not a great gift or that I probably don’t need it, etc. Filipinos also have this habit of saying something along the lines of, “You earn way more than me so you’d probably think this gift sucks” like how do you want me to react :(((((( I love receiving gifts and the idea of being thought about already means a lot to me, so it just makes me wince a little bit when I hear statements like the above.

11. Who knows you the best? Gabie, probably. I’ve changed a lot since then, though.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? Clubs were mandatory extracurricular activities in my high school; in my time, I joined the table tennis and yearbook clubs.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Idk, we didn’t have those in school. I probably would have been honored to get a journalism-themed one though; something like Most Likely To Write for NYT or Most Likely to Win a Pulitzer or something like that. Obviously that’s changed now and I’ve long let go of journalism as a passion.

14. What’s the last book you really loved? I haven’t read in a long, long while.

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? I don’t watch a lot of TV so I’m not the most credible decision-making body for this lol, but out of all the shows I’ve watched the best one would easily be Breaking Bad.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? 16. Life was insanely easygoing back then and everything fell into place for me at the time.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Know when it’s enough. Be kind to yourself.

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Have kids.

19. Apologize or ask permission? I don’t understand the relationship between the two.

20. Unlimited love or money? I would love to never have to worry about finances ever again.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Take a week-long leave for work, spend all my money, bond with my dogs, throw a party for my closest friends, and honestly, make my peace with her.

22. What’s your most listened to song? Spotify doesn’t show that feature, but I bet it’s from Paramore or Hayley anyway. It would be impossible to know my most-listened to song of all time, like if we took into account my Spotify, iTunes, etc.

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? I need a beach vacation badly, but a European vacation would be a new and different experience. I’d take the latter.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Playing the piano.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Depends on how much I won lmao. I’d probably retire this early if the money was big enough since I’m pretty stingy anyway. But generally, I would like to pay off whatever bills my parents are currently paying for, get back the car that we had to sell because of the pandemic, and maybe go for a solo vacation or five heheh.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? Kylie Jenner, for a day. Just so I can briefly have a taste of how being that rich is like.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? Nope.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? Staying with Gab despite the red flags that glared for four whole years is one of them. Angela will also never let go of that one time I tried some kind of fruit juice in high school and I described it as ‘packs a punch.’ It’s understood as a super Westernized idiom where I live and literally no one uses it in a casual sentence, so it was a hit with her and now we use ‘packs a punch’ whenever we want to describe something awesome or surprising.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Mayonnaise and I will die on this mayonnaise-coated hill.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Ideally? At this point? Like 20. I would love for that to be the case on the first Friday we can consider the Philippines COVID-free.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? Sorry for yet another incoming Paramore reference but they literally have a lyric that goes, “22 is like, the worst idea that I have ever had.” Before turning 22 I used to think it was a weird line, like how could 22 possibly be unenjoyable? Now I’m 22 in a pandemic going through a rough breakup and I can’t even see my friends nor work in my first workplace ever.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If they wanted only cats as pets. I can deal with a dog and a cat, I guess; but cats were never fond of me so I feel like I’d struggle with this situation lol.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Mr. Peanutbutterrrrrrr. Has a lot of love to give, doesn’t always use it on the right people. Also lives on pleasing others.

34. Do you believe in karma? Just to a tiny extent, in how I would want people’s awful actions to come bite them in the ass one day. It’s not a philosophy that controls my life and the things I do whatsoever.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? My absolute favorite was Hi-5, with the original cast. As I got older my interests shifted to Spongebob and The Fairly OddParents.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? I don’t think it’s weird, but I don’t hear thighs too often when people list down their favorite physical traits. It’s certainly one of mine.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? A Friends-themed one, obviously. This reminds me of the Jeopardy night I had with some friends a few nights ago! That was so much fun, and Andi makes really great and fun questions hahaha.

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? I don’t think I am about anything.

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? Maybe that night my grandpa went into a drunk rampage. I was 9, right in his line of sight, frozen and scared shitless, and I didn’t know who he was going to strike next.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? I never really think about this. If someone’s a non-politician then there must be a reason they aren’t, lol.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? Little Things by One Direction is very cheesy and it’s one of my least favorite songs of theirs, but I still have it memorized out of habit.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? My great-grandpa died all the way back in the 70s, even before some of my aunts and uncles could meet him. It would be cool to spend time with him.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? Yeah, absolutely. I have the stomach for it lol, so I always monitor what’s happening locally and globally. Skipping the news from time to time is fine because I get how anxiety-inducing and depressing some events can be, but there’s a huge difference between ignoring the news for your mental health and being indifferent altogether. I’d immediately judge anyone who’s the latter, and would assume you are incredibly privileged.

44. What is the best present you could ever receive? My money refunded -____________- I had food delivered to my director, Bea’s house as a surprise earlier today, but apparently I ran into a scammer driver and the fucker drove away with the meal I had bought for Bea. I reported the driver and the situation, and thankfully the customer service rep of the food delivery app quickly responded and said they’d return the full amount I paid for; but I still haven’t received it.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? No. Mobile data exists for a reason.

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Check out my voice.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? I’d love to surprise Angela with an overseas trip that would last for like a month. Traveling is one thing we have yet to do as best friends.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? Nothing particular, but it makes me happy when people call me strong and when they validate the shit I’ve gone through over the years.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? I would take the giant house. When it comes to my own place, I would want to have a lot of space to roam around.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? Nothing is coming to mind.

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[lightspren]

for like. weeks now lol. i keep finding myself chanting in my head “i am OKAY, i am doing my best to be OKAY, i am not losing it, i am doing my best to keep it TOGETHER” et cetera, and rather than what i think my subconscious is attempting to do - to comfort myself and convince myself that i can Handle This - i think it much rather is driving me further up the fucking wall

kit is Not Okay y’all lmao

and kit feels stupid bitching about it cause like, who *IS* okay right now? really and truly??? but i’ve been doing my job plus like, 2/3 of another person’s job for multiple days now, which means I’m very, very behind on my own work, which drives me fucking insane because a lot of the stuff i’m behind on is scanning so like, there’s a physical manifestation of how far behind i am in the form of a 7 inch tall stack of shit to be scanned. but faxes need done! and people still break shit and thus need it fixed! and doctors are often whiny pissbabies if a thing doesn’t work Just Exactly As Expected! and apparnetly I’m supposed to be some magic wifi fairy that can fix their video visit app saying there’s a poor connection! even when IT’s response to my plea was basically “lol idk sorry bro”! and i’m still run down from the cold I got late last week! and having had to be out a day for that is part of why i’m so behind! and i can’t! keep! doing! this! it isn’t sustainable and i’m exhausted but there’s literally no alternative rn because the department i’m having to help fill in for has like, 13 of 30 staff members out either due to COVID or FMLA. so there’s legit just. nothign to be done. except let shit get behind. except i’m terrified of doing that bc i’m just waiting for like the important doctor to come looking for a document he sent back to scan three days ago that isn’t in the chart yet when it should be, and promptly losing his shit. and like my direct supervisor knows why i’ve been so busy, and she’s just apologetic about it but i’m just! so stressed!

my ex-supervisor, who’s now the manager of the central dept that has so many people out and has been enlisting my help, tried to get my office manager and supervisor to approve for me to be getting overtime this week to further help her coverage. and like i understand she needs the help but also i am going insane. and my office manager denied it, but she is not someone who takes no so i’d almost bet money she’ll get my office manager ot change her mind. and like. honestly i DO need to be able to do the overtime, if i ever have hope of catching up. but i’m so goddamn tired, mentally and physically and like fucking existentially. i’m so tire.d

and this is a long rambly rant that i’m not going to bother to proofread bc i don’t need a real reply to it or advice or whatever, there’s just. no digging out of this right now. there’s really not. my area is being gutted by COVID and until that stops being the case we get to continue in crisis management mode. like we’ve been for the last 9 fucking months, aka ever since i got this fucking promotion. oh and i need to not take vacation time either rn bc 1. there’s no coverage and 2. i need to save my vacation time for the (incredibly likely) possibility that i get COVID myself and am out for 3-4 weeks. because it’s increasing to Almost Certain I’ll get it, precautions be damned LMAO. and i will *not* be one to recover quickly from it jesus.

tldr i’m tired, i’m burnt out, there’s nothing i or anyone else can do about it, get to continue running myself into a wall until i drop dead the end 👉🏻😎👉🏻 

[pisati]

I’ll admit, it’s sometimes a little hard to know where I stand with you. I do take your reassurances at face value, of course, and I know I often need reminding. but I also try to remember that you’ve been through a hell of a lot emotionally. I only know what you’ve told me; I don’t have your lived experiences. there’s a lot that you’ve gone through that I don’t even know about, and you don’t have to tell me about it-- it’s enough to know it happened. I can’t expect you to be as open about emotion as I am, or even able to feel things like I do (and I’ve been pretty dulled myself). maybe I’ve been reading you wrong at times; it’s hard to, especially through text. but I can hear it in your voice sometimes, I think. something flat. could be exhaustion, could be everything. of course I forgive your lacking in reciprocal effort; I appreciate all that you do give me. I know you’re trying, and you’re trying because you want to, not because you think I expect you to. it’s not easy. but you know as well as I do that shrugging everything off and staying in the emotionless void isn’t healthy for you.

from what I can at least guess about you, you’re a genuinely kind and caring person who has had a lot of his emotional innocence, so to speak, torn from him. you’re right: your emotion isn’t worthless. but that’s something you have to internalize yourself. I’ve been in similar dark places, but I don’t think it’s near to the degree you have. not that pain is a competition; it’s not. I just know that I can’t fully understand the things you’ve been feeling, or... not feeling. regardless, I know you know it’s not healthy and you want to move forward from it, and I’m glad to be there for you while you work through it. that’s a kindness I think anyone dealing with trauma deserves. I also very much appreciate that we can have both silly and serious conversations; even just following my blog you already know more about me than a lot of my irl friends. you’ve become someone I also care very much about and I don’t like seeing you in pain-- though of course it’s not my place to do more than I can, or more than you want me to. I’d still like to be there for you regardless. 

---

anywho! travel plans. like I said, most of the issue is logistics. I’m looking at potential flights and I think a reasonable roundtrip is about 9 days; including 2 for travel, that’s a full week for adventuring. I’m flexible, of course, but I’m not the one with a job, lol. I don’t know what airlines would be best (though I did just find a flight on Icelandair, one 55m stop in Keflavik, July 10-19, for $1100 roundtrip), so if you wanna help out with searching you’re more than welcome to take a look yourself. I’d prefer shorter layovers if possible; none of those 27h total trips, lmao. nothing’s direct from Dulles unfortunately, but it is a major international hub, like JFK, so often I’ll be able to find flights to other major destinations from here. which is gr8, because it’s literally a 10-15 minute drive from my house. we have two other major airports here: Reagan national and BWI. personally I prefer Dulles because it’s closer, but if you can find a cheaper and/or direct flight out of the other ones, I’ll find a way to get there lol.

I’m going to be in PA for farm jam from, likely, July 3-7th. I’ll have to see how I feel about what day I’m coming home. I may or may not want to stay til the 8th. but anyway I don’t want to leave on an international flight *too* soon after I get home. I’ll have to drive 4 hours home after spending 4 days camping in the woods on a farm, unpack from camping, and then pack again, and I only have so much energy. I’ve done it before (got back from Iceland and drove to PA the next morning), but it’s not terribly fun. I think if I can make myself come home on the 7th, or at least early on the 8th, I can leave the 10th at the earliest. I’m going to look at July 10-19 as my reference, since that’s also one of the cheapest roundtrips that I can find (for some reason wednesdays are cheaper traveling days?), but those days might change a little. I’ll let you know if I decide on something for sure, but if you want to look up Airbnbs (or if you can find cheaper flights, lmao), you’re welcome to use the 10-19th as a general reference point as well.

I have no qualms about Airbnbs. it would be easier booking-wise to get the flight and hotel together, but I’m cool with having a little place out of the city for the week. the genuine experience, as you say, lol. the coast would be lovely, but I’ll take whatever you find that you like! I’ll leave that to your expertise. are we splitting the cost for that, or.. how do you want to do that? 

as far as itinerary, I’m down for everything. I got real excited about that owl sanctuary, lol. anything with animals is great with me. can we see highland cattle too?? I do know I’m gonna want to check out one or two of the record stores in Glasgow; I think that’s my new Travel Thing, lol. going to a city, checking out the record stores. gotta bring records home. that’s my kinda souvenir. everything else, I’m down for too! I love learning about history, seeing old churches and castles, historical sites, all that jazz. I love the sound of that island too! I totally get what you mean about not doing all the typically touristy stuff. I mean, I live just outside Washington DC. I know the tourist traps are a waste of time and money and they’re not the ~real experience~. I love the sound of not taking the beaten path, though. and how often do you have a personal local tour guide? lmao

the only worries I have, really, are my energy levels and my traveling anxiety. neither of those are your responsibility, but they do affect me literally every time I travel, even if I think they won’t.

the anxiety has its roots in my emetophobia, for sure. for some reason my brain feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen is me getting sick while I’m traveling, and then of course I get nervous about it, and what accompanies the nervousness? nausea. shit writes itself. I know it happens, I’m very conscious of it, but that doesn’t stop it. I’ll bring klonopin as a security blanket, likely won’t need it, but mostly what helps is just, like, making sure I eat something, lol. I don’t tend to eat much when I travel anyway, but not eating tends to make the problem worse and I need something in my stomach, obviously. being distracted helps too. something to focus on, someplace to go or see. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling, though, so don’t worry about needing to check in on me. I’m not a nervous wreck all the time.

then there’s the energy levels. I have no earthly way of knowing what they’re going to be like in July. right now I don’t have much energy to do much of anything, but sometimes, especially if I’m subconsciously nervous, I won’t have an off switch. and sometimes I say “not a lot of energy” but I push myself anyway and surprise myself. it’s incredibly hard to predict my day-to-day now, without the traveling nerves, and it’ll be almost impossible to predict from now if something in my medical future changes. so, basically, it’s something to keep in mind but nothing to control for.

I’m pretty low-energy in general, but I can walk a good bit, so don’t worry about pushing me! I’ll let you know what I can handle. it’s probably safe to put one big thing in a day, 2-3 tops if they don’t have much travel time between them. better to leave time open to fit in more things anyway than to over-book and not be able to get to them all. I never know what my sleep’s going to be like, but I can almost guarantee it’s going to be terrible. it usually is when I travel. this also isn’t your responsibility, so don’t let me wreck your sleep schedule for when you have to get back to work, lol. I’m fine staying up late by myself if I’ve got wifi or if I bring a book or something; I can’t expect you to have the same crazy erratic sleep schedule as traveling-me. I’ll let you know if something is or isn’t okay, what I’m up for, all that good stuff. so I’d say definitely plan in all the stuff you want to do plus a few record shops, but leave some wiggle room for late starts, fitting more things in, or the possibility that I might not be able to get to everything in a day. not saying I’ll be struggling that hard, but wiggle room is always good so no one is disappointed lol

anyways I have no worries that it’ll be a great trip 😊literally everything you mentioned sounds wonderful, and I’m already excited! I do worry slightly that we still barely know each other and have never spoken face to face, lol. but I’m sure that’ll happen in due time before July. it’s one thing to meet an internet stranger in your city, but in another country? as a solo female traveler that does make me nervous. I like to think I have a pretty decent sense of the kind of person you are, but you really never know. it’ll certainly help ease my mind to get to know you better over the course of the next few months.

also... I don’t want to alarm you and I’m probably not supposed to tell you at all, but I’d rather be upfront about it. the background check I’m currently undergoing for my [future] job requires me to inform them of every non-US citizen I have “close and continuing contact” with. you and I weren’t talking yet when I filled out the background check form, but I do have to keep them updated or risk losing my chance at the job. they won’t do anything with the information I give them; everyone has friends and family in other countries, and the US doesn’t have any beef with Scotland that I’m aware of, lol. but I will need to give them basic information, especially if I’m leaving the country to visit. I would have to do it even if I weren’t planning on visiting and we kept talking, but this seems like an appropriate time to bring it up, lol. this is standard procedure for federal background checks here; literally everyone trying to get a cleared job has to do it. the form itself is open-source, the PDF is the top result on google, and I can send it to you so you can see exactly what they ask me to provide, if you’d like. I’m not going to ask you for more information than what you’ve given me, and they do take “I don’t know” as an answer. if it’s not okay with you at all, though, then we’ve got some major problems.

soooooo with that out of the way, lmao

if I think of anything else I’m sure I’ll bring it up when I think of it. the only question I might have right now is what should I bring, besides the essentials? a book, maybe. a crochet thing? perhaps? laptop? (probably no on that one, though, right?) uhhhh power adapters? the electrical plugs are definitely different there, yeah? any american things I can pack into a suitcase that you’d like me to bring? lol

speaking of american things. I’ve already got a small list of little things I could pack into a box and ship out there and I think you’ll like them!! how do you feel about sweets? I’m not talking junk food per se, like all the ridiculous candies we have here. just sweet in general? and I know you said not spicy, but how about seasoning? what kinds of seasonings do you like and dislike?

I’ll start looking into flights more seriously soon, as long as you’re okay with the background thing. I can’t give you too many details about all that, mostly because I don’t have them, but we can absolutely talk about it if it’s a concern. 

so, yes. let me know when you have time to talk and we can start planning 💕

[meitanreax]

day 4

hi bebu!!

hope you have a good day exploring town tomorrow!! im excited to see what tea and little sights u see ^__^ please send some photos and tea over hehe! i love you lots !! so much, forever, more than anything, with all my heart!!! <3 _ <3 every letter is one step closer to seeing u!! we only have 10 days left WOOO after tomorrow we’ll be in the single digits ^.^

im excited to call u tomorrow!!! also THANKS FOR ADDING SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST LOL majority is still me so u should catch up:3 ive been listening to clear & our playlist next to you, nonstop!!! im probably gonna listen to it a lot too the next day since it’s gonna be a 7-8 hour drive back to my cousin’s house...RIP

so in response to ur challenge: i want u to draw us on the phone talking to each other, u with pupy and me with buny!! or us in japan or us reuniting in the airport...LOL theres a lot of options but ^_^ HEHE U CAN CHOOSE!! here’s my doodle for the first prompt :3 pls send me ur photo when u r done!! i look forward to it!! 

ok!! so here’s for my day!! so i woke up around 530 am cuz of jet lag..and cuz i slept at like 930 LOL so it wasnt too bad!!! i got breakfast and stuff and then left the hotel around ~945 am? here’s some photos before i left!

this is the little garden/plaza in front!! p cute!!!  so literally....like i said our 4 hour drive ended up taking...7 hours..LOL we arrived at like 445 instead of ~130-2 RIP LOL but like i said!! everything that couldve went wrong on the trip, went wrong!! and i was like wtf hmph!!! first the baby yacked, so it was YACK SEAT, and then it was a flat tire!! like bro!! and i kept needing to pee, even worse!!

omg also on the road there was A BUNCH OF “road work ahead” signs and i literally thot of drew gooden’s “road work ahead? uh YEAH, i sure HOPE it does” LOOOL and there was like another sign that said “end road work” and i was like NOOO THE ROAD IS BROKEN NOW LOL

here r some photos i took on the road! we drove through a bunch of little towns idk what was going on and it sucked the road was literally one lane the entire way...LOL and we passed by the ocean at one point!! it was really pretty

we finally arrived around ~445!!! i took some photos of the place we’re at. it’s a place called vigan (pronounced like vegan LMAO) and we’re staying at a bed and breakfast...the wifi is hella jank so i ended up using the fucking hotspot again RIP..oh well at least it works p well ^_^ LOL

i ended up getting my own room with ez!! so i can talk and stuff and do whatever without my parents being loud or annoying LOL (fcking thank god) 

so after we settled down and stuff, we went out to walk around, and see the cobblestone areas, cuz this town is supposed to be an old spanish settlement so they made it more like europe and added cobble stones and stuff, and there are some spanish architecture here!! it’s SOOOO fricking humid though and im fucking DYING i literally started sweating 2 minutes out there

i think this town was actually one of the coolest ive been to in the philippines!! anyways yeah we just walked around looked at the streets and stuff. there was a bunch of horse drawn carriages o.0 and like a lot of tourist pop up shops LOL bro i got annoyed at some r00d filipinos who kept walking in when i was trying to take a photo!! i literally sighed so loud and they looked at me so i think they got the hint LOL ;-; 

but anyways, we walked around, got some water at a 7/11 and i got nutella bueno snacks and pepero and ferero rocher :3 i wanted to get cup noodle but im like hMMM LOL 

here r some cute photos of me that i took today LOL ^.^ just in case u missed my face hehe ( i sure hope u do!! )

after walking around and stuff, bro...we walked to a church and theyre like leTS go InSIDE LOL and im jsut ??? EVERYONE STARTED KNEELING AND PRAYING LOL and im like uh...ok..so i just walked around like i was looking around instead of prayign LKDSJLFKDj dude i found the lil chair the priest sits in during confession and i was gunna sit in it until my dad yelled at me and i was like o

ok

LMFAOOO ;-; i thot it was funny cuz i was speaking through the screen like “helLloOOO” LOL my fucking dumb ass dude!!!

we went back towards the place we were staying at, and then ended up across this cute lil cafe!! 

i also found a CUTE japanese cafe called sweets forest or something and the inside was soo cute there were little vines and flowers everywhere and fairy lights and a little neon sign and i was like sigh ;-; just like cali..and they had japanese crepes!! i wanted to go but my mom was like no we go to church n i was like wtf LOL

but yah across this cafe was a lil bakery, and i got coconut/taro mix ice cream in a lil tub and it was p good!! i gotta say!!

we walked back to our hotel now and now im just chillen here waiting for u hehe :D gonna shower and stuff then just relax!!! excited to talk to u !! thanks for putting in time to wake up early just to talk to me ;_; i rlly appreciate it bebu!!!

ok for tomorrow’s challenge:

do the piccrew drawing :3 LOL also! take photo(s) of something interesting in the town and tell me fun facts or something interesting about it o.0 give me some information!!! be the tour guide :D

thanks for making the break more bearable bebu!! love u so much!! it really warms my heart knowing how much effort we’re both putting into making this work over this long break ;_; im really glad i get to see you soon and i rlly rlly look forward to it!!!! hehe IM EXCITED FOR THE TEAS TOO AND THEN ALSO JUST HOLDING U IN PERSON <3

i love you so much!! forever!! MORE THAN ANYTHING WITH ALL MY HEART BABY!!! i love you soo much!! T-10 DAYS LEFT!!! we got this!!!! POWER THROUGH!!!!! 

[minhyyuu-blog]

…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…

tagged by @markhyuck-is-real-af​ thank you  ❤️

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl… (lol you wish idk for now who to tag I’ll add sb later but 20 is impossible)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: apple and pineapple juice

2. Phone call: my brother, just a second ago haha (I’m going to visit him next week, he lives in different country)

3. Text message: to my friend, I was asking her when we can meet

4. Song you listened to: EXO-CBX - Ka-CHING!

5. Time you cried: a couple months ago when I argued with my mum (idk why I always cry when I’m angry O.o and almost never when I’m sad)

6. Dated someone twice: the same person? no (I can’t imagine dating sb twice)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i never regretted kissing someone fortunately

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes, a boy who I had a crush on and also I my grandma died 10 months ago and she was the closest person for me

10. Been depressed: yes, as a young child (which is kind of wierd)

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I was drunk a few times but I have never trown up (and also I never had a hungover O.o)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: red, pink, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes, I started studying at a university so I met many lovely people *.* (God bless them)

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: of course

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no, fortunately

19. Met someone who changed you: yes (my uni friends, my teachers, many people tbh)

20. Found out who your friends are: I don’t really know what it means

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: not during the last year (oh, wait but maybe I kissed some of them on the cheek)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% (I don’t know how it’s possible but I invited some Pakistani and Indian people into my friends when I was about 13 and even when I’m trying to unfollow them they keep coming back ._. like how)

23. Do you have any pets: most recently I used to have a guinea pig but he died 2 years ago

24. Do you want to change your name: my name and surname is like Jane Doe in my country so I’m seriously considering changing my name (even if I like my first name) but I’m afraid that people won’t get used to my new name and I’m also afraid of red tape (idk if I’m using the phrase right)

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I only remember eating cake with my mum

26. What time did you wake up: 10am I was so tired… because I was waking up at 4am for the last 3 days

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I fell asleep at 10pm last night when I was reading a book and I didn’t even wash off my makeup so yeah I was sleeping

28. Name something you can’t wait for: for my US history exam results (I want to live in peace at last)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a week ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: have more close friends who I can talk to sincerly

31. What are you listening right now: right now -> nothing. but recently I was listening to NCT 127′s Cherry Bomb album, Monsta X’s whole discography (I got into them when Beautiful came out so quite recently), WJSN’s “Happy” and Be.A’s “Magical” on repeat

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my cousin has a name which directly translates to Tom so yeah

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people who walk slowly duh

34. Most visited Website: one stupid website with memes from my country. if I visit it once more pls somebody turn off my wifi. the people here have so stupid  opinions and I still keep reading the comment’s. I’m a damn masochist.

35. Elementary: finished

36. High School: finished

37. College: (it’s university in fact) I studied sth different before and now I finished the first year of sth else

38. Haircolor: very, very dark brown (looks like black when I’m not outside)

39. Long or short hair: long? i guess

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope

41. What do you like about yourself: my looks (lmao), that I’m good with languages and that I’m hardworking

42. Piercings: none (but I have plans to pierce my ears [not only the rugular ones ;-)])

43. Bloodtype: Brh+

44. Nickname: none?

45. Relationship status: single (I’m sad about it tbh)

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: ghost adventures (don’t judge) and documentaries about the Earth (I don’t remember the name rn)

49. Tattoos: I’m planning to get one but I’m not 100% sure (I had a wierd dream that I should get one and it seems interesting for me)

50. Right or left: right handed (?) but I can use both my hands

51. Surgery: I had sth done on my lungs when I was a child

52. Piercing: none

53. Sport: I used to train swimming

55. Vacation: ????? (my dream vacation would be Montenegro or other Balkan countries)

56. Pair of trainers: ???? what?

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: (like my favourite?) smoothies, all veggies, Chinese cuisine, spicy food, lentils, peanut butter (I albsolutely love it)

58. Drinking: coffee, green tea, water

59. I’m about to: go to sleep

61. Waiting for: Red Velvet’s comeback, my last exam’s results and to visit my brothers

62. Want: to live peacefully

63. Get married: rather not

64. Career: I’m studying to be a translator (but my second dream is to be a singer or composer or both and traslator also)

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses (I’m so awkward when sb tries to hug me *blush*)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: it’s impossible to be shorter than me :-P

68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter as long as the difference is not bigger than 5 years

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms. what do they mean by nice stomach?

71. Sensitive or loud: loud? oh hell no, I’d die. so sensitive is better (tbh I find it very cute)

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (I’m the troublemaker I don’t need a second one :-P)

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope (and I wouldn’t)

75. Drank hard liquor: I prefer hard liquor tbh

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear glasses nor contact lenses

77. Turned someone down: for sure, even if I don’t remember anything in particular right now

78. Sex in the first date: too fast in my opinion

79. Broken someones heart: I did break sb’s heart, I’m sorry.

80. Had your heart broken: not really

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes (how can someone not cry when their loved ones die?)

83. Fallen for a friend: yes, and I hve hurt him so bad I’ll never forgive myself for that even if it was years ago

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: most of the times but it’s like a sinusoid

85. Miracles: maybe they’re possible sometimes

86. Love at first sight: no……… I’d rather call it infatuation or fascination or lust

87. Santa Claus: no (I never believed in him even as a child O.o I always knew that my parents were the ones who gave me presents)

88. Kiss in the first date: kinda too fast

89. Angels: not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: I’d prefer not to say that here

91. Eyecolor: dark gray

92. Favorite movie: The Sixth Sense (from 1999 with Bruce Willis) and horror kovies in general or some moves that convey useful message

I’m tagging: anyone from my friends who wants to do it (but maybe @jinhobbit (if it’s not too personal) or @xuanyisgfriend (same here) @thesketchykoifish @penguinsoo0112 

[grungebeauty666]

I got chu. (This is my main blog.... I dont know if I've told you that? Or if you knew? Tbh I almost forgot what I was doing as I was getting ready to send this) but! You should do all of them because they are adorable af and ily and wanna know more about you!

I got chu! I think you never told me, but now I know :D Awe, ily too ^-^

1. What have you eaten today?

Oreo’s and a Cripsy Chicken Burger from Burgerking


2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

I think it was with one of my best friend. More or less, we do it kinda like a greeting, idk is that weird 


3. What color shoes did you last wear?

White/Holographic 


4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

We watched Prison Break and I called Mike a »Snekay Weasel«


5. What is your favorite scent?

Natural one probably would be tea; Perfume whise Chloé Lovestory


6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Fall or Winter, because my skin is very sensitive to heat, and it itches and it’s just a no from me


7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

I used to, but then I got fat lmao


8. What color are your nails?

Pink


9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

A little heart under my right eye


10. What is something you find romantic?

Netflix and Chill


11. Are you happy?

No


12. Is there anything in particular making you happy orsad?

My best friends make me happy. Money makes me happy, because I can spend it on shit I don’t need; Part of my family makes me sad


13. Dogs or Cats?

Both


15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

Museum, I loved the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam


15. What is your style?

Really weird, because I like alot of stuff so; Grunge, Goth, Hipster, “Instagram-Ish”, Geeky, Cute and alot more mixed 


16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

Travel somewhere


17. Are you in a relationship or single?

Single


18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

I actually don’t like one right now


19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

If I had a partner, I wouldn’t. 


20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? Sure, many things. Mostly feelings 😂


21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went for trick and treating with my nieces!


22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

Yes!


23. Were you ever in a school play?

No, but we didn’t had those anyway


24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

To Write Love On Her Arms maybe, without the drug part


25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Youtube, and I didn’t started because my confidence is pretty low


26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Everything, even though I already have my best friend for that 


27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

Nothing tbh 


28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Nothing tbh 


29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

I only had one day of school


30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

Alot of things


31. How long was your longest relationship?

Romantic: Never happendFriendship: About 14 years now 


32. Have you ever been in love?

Yes


33. Are you currently in love?

With myself


34. Why did your last relationship end?

It didn’t


35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

I’m wearing a septum but I guess that’s not really jewelry, is it 😂


36. When was the last time you cried and why?

Yesterday, and for the most stupid thing ever. I’m really shy and have social phobia, and my mother and her husband renovate the hall, and it’s really small and I couldn’t pass her husband and I didn’t want to say that I need to go pass him so I left the hall, went back to my room and started crying. He’s really weird, in a bad way, and I dislike him, for my defense.


37. Name someone pretty.

Emilie Autumn


38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

A text from my bestfriend 😂


39. Do you get jealous easily?

I do


40. Have you ever been cheated on?

Friendship whise definitely 


41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

Yes, I do.


42. Ever had detention?

Yeah, I skipped classes alot when I was in highschool


43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

City. I like the countryside, but I like privacy. Not knowing everyone, not getting judged by a bunch of old people


44. What do people call you?

Lisa


45. What was the last book you read?

To all the boys I’ve loved before by Jenny Han


46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

Way to big


47. What kind of music do you listen to?

Everything actually


48. How tall are you?

“””Tall”””; Im 4”9


49. Do you like kids?

Yes, I love kids! 


50. Favorite fruits?

I usually don’t like fruits, but probably bananas


51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Leggins all the way


52. What’s your earliest memory?

My sisters trying to throw me into a river as a joke


53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

Yes, by my niece


54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Both, but only if I take the pictures


55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Pencil’s, life of an artist am I right


56. Do you save money or spend it?

I used to spend it, but I’m trying to save more now, since I’m moving out soon


57. What would your dream house be like?

I prefer smaller ones because I’m paranoid


58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

Ignorance, racism, sexism, violence, doublestandarts


59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

Food, netflix, books, friends, free wifi


60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Well, I get fired then


61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Everyoneb) Probably still watching netflix and youtube alldayc) No, I’d be glad it’s over


62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

People that are completely happy and share their happiness with other people, to make them happy too


63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

England or Switzerland, since two of my friends live there


64. Do you like the beach?

No


65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

Define special, to me everyone that I love is special, so I guess


66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Mine is Marie 


67. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, I do that alot


68. Describe your hair.

Short, wavy/curly, silver-blue 


69. What is the meaning of life.

I don’t know yet 


70. What is your ideal partner like?

Funny


71. Do you want to get married?

No


72. Do you want to have kids?

Maybe, I’m not sure


73. Like or dislike your family?

I dislike most of them


74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Just fat
75. Would you consider yourself smart?

I’d like to, but I think I’m rather stupid


76. What would you change about your life?

Money


77. Religious or Not?

Nope


78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Probably my best friend 


79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No, I love him lmao


80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Yes


81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Watching netflix, eating pizza and drinking alcohol 


82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

Yes


83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

Yeeeeeees, I love that, it feels so good


84. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes! I also love bathbombs especially from lush


85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Nah, I can’t drive


86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

As a kid


87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Yes


88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

My neck hurts


89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

EnglandSwitzerlandJapanItalyAmericaFranceGreeceMexicoThailandParts of Germany maybe, I don’t travel around much here


90. How was your day today?

Okay


91. Play an instrument?

No, I tried playing piano, but my fingers are too small lmao 


92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

I hate it, it’s deep and scary and dark, just no


93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Ghosts, yes


94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

No


95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

It’s my only side 🌚


96. When are you vulnerable?

When I’m confused


97. How much free time do you have?

Alot


98. Do you like to go hiking?

No omg 


99. Odd or Even Numbers?

Even


100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

No, no, no, no, no, no and no

[sealgirl96-blog]

wednesday 11th january 2017, 20:02

So, this was meant to be a daily journal, but I haven’t written for over a month... sorry! Long story short, the wifi did cut out, just in perfect timing for finals, which literally drained me (I think I must have pulled at least 4 all-nighters in the space of a week... even the regulars at the 24hr café began to recognise me). Then I spent Christmas with Mum in Quebec, went back to London for New Years’ for a week, and now I’m back this side of the Atlantic again. Although I do wish I’d updated on the past few week as it was happening, I hate for diary entries to just be massive catch-ups, so I’m just going to write about the very recent past. (There aren’t any hugely exciting gaps to fill in, don’t worry.)

I flew back on Saturday. It’s weird coming back to Canada this time around. Remembering how last time I made that journey, and travelled what felt like a huge, huge distance, I had absolutely no idea what the next four months held; what the city looked and felt like, where I would live, what school would be like, and I didn’t even know a single person. Now this time, having done a long-haul flight to London a week prior, the journey didn’t seem that arduous, I just whiled the hours away on the plane snoozing and watching Sex and the City, then hopped off (no painfully long immigration to go through), and took two buses to my cosy little apartment and bed. How can somewhere that once felt so unknown feel just like home?

I can’t lie, I’m quite glad to be back. I’m always less sad about that than I think I will be - leaving Mum, leaving London, and knowing it’s going to be for a while. Since this is the longest and the furthest away I’ve ever been, it’s hard to know whether it’s just because I like this place, or because I underestimated my capacity for not getting homesick. Maybe both.

I don’t miss London right now. I don’t think I was there long enough to really get into the swing of things. When I first got back, I hated it. It felt like I was wearing grey-tinted glasses - I know it was especially foggy that day, but in comparison to here it just seemed so dirty, grey, and polluted. I was walking down Holloway Road, thinking, did I really grow up here? I honestly think you just become accustomed to it when you live there. And then when you consider the fact that I pay 1/4 of the rent I would pay living in London, and for a nice place, in a great area, too. I do love London because it’s London and it’s home, but living there at this (financially unstable) stage in your life is becoming harder and harder to justify.

Seeing my friends soon alleviated my sadness though, and I can’t lie, NYE was good. Just got extremely waved with the girls and went to some punk night in Hackney. We thought it might be a risk, punk, but it wasn’t even bad at all, and they were playing other stuff too. They played David Bowie - Let’s Dance when it turned 2017. Hanging out with good friends is the one thing I do miss, and regret not doing more of last week. I had this shitty flu which incapacitated me for a few days (probably that London pollution) and NYE was the only night I actually went out. It’s bittersweet in a way, because I did want to come back here, but then that had to be in the knowledge that I wouldn’t see certain people for a really long time.

Class started this week. I’ve liberally arranged my timetable so that I have Monday and Friday off, and I know I won’t regret that later on. Since last term was quite challenging, I was going to try and only take easier modules this term, but that turned out to be a logical impossibility, especially if I wanted those two days off. I know it sounds like I’m just trying to cut corners, but it’s more like I’m just trying to not make life unnecessarily hard for myself, because I’m finding studying in a foreign language quite hard as it is. It’s a pass/fail year and all modules are weighted equally, so I would get the same amount of credits for an easier module as I would a harder one. But anyway, I just ended up with 2 harder / 2 easier like last term (sorry, boring, who cares, I’m literally just writing this for my own benefit, ok.) The term ahead does look quite difficult, but it could be manageable. I just wish I had a stronger work ethic. As it stands, I literally have the worst work ethic known to mankind.

Last night I went for drinks with three of the Brits and one Canadian. It was Tom’s birthday incidentally, but I don’t think he would have done anything for it if Rory hadn’t otherwise suggested drinks. I do like Rory, but the others... it’s like I said before... I find it hard to have a connection with people with whom the sole basis of our friendship is nationality. As a result, the banter was a little bit dead. We went to the (really corny) Irish pub because Rory’s friend worked there. Who doesn’t work at the Irish pub, to be honest? It’s actually such a small world, this city. The Canadian guy we were with also works there, my ex-flatmate Nick works there and my also-now-ex-flatmate Mary’s friend Tony who I went on one date with and never spoke to again works there. I was praying the latter wouldn’t be there as it would have made for a very awkward encounter... I guess my prayers were answered, thanks, God!

Rors convinced us all to go on this ski trip... I’ve never skied, I’m so so scared o of making an ass out of myself, but apparently people mainly go for the atmosphere. We would all share a chalet and I think it would actually be super fun. It’s also quite cheap (for a ski trip) but my heart rate does increase slightly when I think about my finances over the coming months. I can’t currently get a job on my visa, but I mean to send it off and hopefully have it amended so that I can - but even still, I don’t know how easy it would be to find one, not being perfectly bilingual. With NYC and now possibly this ski trip, my bank account is really not looking pleased with me at the moment. I transferred some of my savings over, but my student loan mainly served to clear my overdraft. This one time, AB said that he wanted to take a trip to Iceland this summer - and I know it was just said in passing and he’s probably forgotten, but obviously it’s stuck in my mind since. If he was still up for going, and I couldn’t afford it, that would be a serious bummer. And if he offered to help me pay or something, that would just be awkward! He’s not my sugar daddy! Anyway, I’m getting way ahead of myself here. We shall even have to see about the ski trip, as Agata might not even be able to go since it’s in Vermont, and unlike us Brits, she can’t get a visa waiver to travel to the States. I don’t think I would go if she doesn’t.

In other news, we have a new flatmate, Josie, who has replaced Mary. It’s hard to gauge too much this early on, but the more time I spend with her, the more I begin to miss Mary. I mean, for example, she just wandered into my room to ask me to wash up my dishes in the sink, from a few hours ago. A) Has she heard of knocking? B) Is she my mother? C) Not all of those dishes were mine, in fact, some of them were hers from dinner last night, and D) Does it even matter, does it need to be done this instant?! Mary would never do that!!  The thing about the old set-up before Josie is that we were all on the same wavelength. I could sense it from the first time I met those guys. There was kind of a mutual understanding that we were all as ‘messy’ as one another (which isn’t even that messy, by the way.) I knew from the initial skype interview with Josie that she wasn’t quite on our wavelength, and it’s already beginning to show in subtle ways. This is why I much preferred the other flatmate candidate, Emma, but the votes were in Josie’s favour. I just hope it doesn’t culminate in one big argument or something one day.

To be fair, I suppose you could do a lot worse for a flatmate. I should be thankful that she’s clean and tidy and doesn’t like, play the drums or something. She also invited me to her friend’s gig tomorrow, so I guess that’s nice. It’s a brother and sister duo, though. Um, no comment.

P.S. By the way, in case anyone cared (they definitely didn’t), I’m not pregnant. I had two massive spells of bleeding over Christmas (I guess you could call it the festive period lmao - sorry, worst joke ever...) I swear I always think I’m pregnant, maybe subconsciously I love the drama. But what the fuck is the mini pill doing to my hormones, that I can just have random, really long, really heavy periods? It makes me want to go back to the combined, so that I can regulate my periods - but then I couldn’t smoke. Or ideally, stop loading my body up with artificial hormones altogether, but then I would just have to have regular periods, and use a condom on the rare occasion that I get laid. Is there any ideal form of birth control? Someone help!

[contemplativeckik]

I got tagged by not only @astraightupgayblog but also @sin-hoshizora so now I double have to do this lol

Rules: Tag some amount of people you’d like to get to know better

Name/Nickname: Miles Anthony. Current nicknames include: Mishka, Mac, Ck, Eese (which is pronounced like “geese” but without the “g”), but my nickname in culinary school was Tater

Gender: Nonbinary transmasculine

Star Sign: Scorpio

Height: 5’4. Yes, I know I’m a tiny man

Sexual Orientation: I like girls and also femme presenting nb/agender people, but there’s not really a word for that specifically

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Favorite Color: Don’t really have a favorite, but I like blue, red, gray, and brown

Favorite Animal: Bears, obviously. I also like koalas a lot even though they’re not technically bears

Average Hours of sleep: Varies wildly. Sometimes I pass out for 14 hours straight for no reason, but usually I get about 4/5

Cat or dog person: Cats, obviously. I have 5 of them and will talk about them for two hours straight if asked about them. I like dogs well enough, but I’d never be able to deal with having a dog because they want you to love them and go outside with them and I’m just too lazy to handle that lol. I like it when other people have dogs that I can pet for five minutes and then forget about

Favorite Fictional Characters: This is a loaded question lmao. In no particular order: Kanan (I know I said no particular order but she’s my actual favorite) Maki (my other favorite) Mio from K-On Mizore from Ro+Vam (obscure, I know) Utena Otoya from AnR (again, obscure) Veronica from Fallout NV A handful of girls from LoL (Vi, Riven, and Irelia, specifically. I don’t even play League anymore though haha)

Number of blankets I sleep with: One sleeping bag that I keep unzipped and use like a blanket even though its not

Favorite Singer/Band: A handful of alternative bands. Cage The Elephant, Young The Giant, Walk The Moon

Dream Trip: Non-weeaboo answer: The St. James’s Gate Brewery in Dublin Ireland. Weeaboo answer: Osaka, Japan… or Nara… or Kyoto…

Dream Job: I mean, I’d like to someday be a chef at a Hard Rock Café somewhere, or some Hibachi place out in California, but both of those are incredibly unlikely. Also I wanna start a band eventually

When was this blog created: The summer of 2012

Current number of followers: 468

When did your blog reach its peak?: Probably sometime in late 2013 or early 2014. I lost about 600 followers when I went on hiatus in the fall of 2014 right after I moved out to the college I went to. There was no wifi out there.

What made you decide to make a Tumblr?: I wanted to post fanart but I also wanted to get the fuck off of deviantArt

Birthday: November 20th

Relationship status: Ha! That’s a good one. Very funny. Wait, do I actually have to answer this? I’ve been single for a year and a half

Siblings: Two younger sisters, neither of which use tumblr anymore, and three much older half-siblings (they’re all in their 30’s)

Wake up time: I keep trying to set my sleep schedule so that I get up at 10am but I have a bad habit of staying up until 9am so I usually wake up at 2pm

Lemonade or sweet tea: I like iced green tea, but not sweet tea

Day or night: I don’t really have a preference, but I hate when its bright out, so I guess night. I mean, it gets dark here at 4pm though, so

Coke or pepsi: Coke. No contest. If you think Pepsi is good I WILL fist fight you about it

Calls or texts: I don’t like either, but at least texting lets me take as much time as I want to formulate a reply that isn’t painfully awkward and weird. The last time I had to make a phone call I had an anxiety attack and took a nap instead

Ever met a celebrity?: I’ve met my fair share of anime dub voice actors because I go to a lot of conventions, and I’m close friends with like 2 decently popular cosplayers, but I feel like neither of those count. So, no

Smiles or eyes: No preference

Country or city: City. I lived in the country in middle school and it fucking sucked.

Last song I listened to: “Take A Picture” by Filter was on the radio on my way back from the supermarket. But the last song I intentionally looked up and listened to on purpose was “I Got” by Young The Giant. Because I’m learning it on ukulele

Tag some users: IDK who has done this already, so feel free to ignore this if you have: @h4ndsomebear @moitoi-ryuko  @bisexualkananmatsuura @aquaseas @thekingdomofdong @bpd-honoka

[heartofheir]

Psst. You know why I'm here. Do eeeeet. :3c

fcuk

1,2 3 and 10 are done! :D

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?not really lmao

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?knitting and listening to the off topic podcast

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?my dogs and @themysteriousballetanon 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?lie down on the floor, cry and than kick their ass8: Are you close with your dad?kinda, we are both have the same kind of humour and personality which is p cool 

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?ye i smooch my doggos when i got bk from work last night

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?coffee, its got some water in it so ill be fine

12: Do you like hickeys?ye

13: What time do you go to bed?5:30am oops

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?ya

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?nah im quicker with both hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

16: Do you always answer your texts?yea unless i forget or fall asleep 

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Y U P

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?yesterday; we all went to the beach it was top notch

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?my dogs and my siblings even though they are all little shits

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?probs something about being tired af

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?i hope not….

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?i guess?

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?nope

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?i think so

25: In the past week, have you cried?yea

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?maroon

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?yea a variation of it that i cant say cause i dont wanna give my last name out to the interwebs lmao

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?possibly 

29: Do you have a best friend?yea kinda

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?nope

31: Who was your last call/text message from?my manager telling me what time i start work tomorrow 

32: Are you mad at anyone?i dont get mad i just get tired™

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yea

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?21

35: How many more days until your birthday?im not doing math go away

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?nope just working alot r.i.p me

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?ye! :D

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?yup one of them doesnt even know im gay lmao

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?ye

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?kinda?

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?if theres a giant age gap than yea it does

42: Are you available?nope! :D

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?no idea my dude

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?so many!! i wanna get an industrial, another helix ring, maybe my tongue, nipples lol, belly button and my second lot of normal ear piercings plus alot more ear ones

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?it can be awkward af but yea

46: Do you regret anything?lots of things lmao

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?im running out of mango ice tea :(

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?yea 

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?yes and no?

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?she already said yes! (miraculously) 

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?yep

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?he was an ass to me last time we spoke so no

53: What was the last thing you ate?i got one of the chefs at work to make me gnocchi it was delicious 

54: Did you get any compliments today?nope but one of my new coworkers last night said i was really good at my job!! :O

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?no where so far, but one of my friends wants to go to rottnest at some point though

56: Do you own anything from other countries?ye! my auntie went to france and brought me bk a really pretty kitty mask not a furry lol

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?i guess its even but more so guys

58: Where have you lived most of your life?i use to travel around when i was younger but now ive been in the same spot for 10 years I NEED TO L E A V E

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?i wasnt the one driving but it was when i was a babby and we drove from my hometown to perth took us 5 hours

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?nope

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?nah but our house was tomatoed once

62: Who do you text the most?it changes all the time

63: What was the last movie you saw?moana! i loved it!!

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? i dont actually know

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?none

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?nope

67: Do you curse around your parents?not on purpose it just slips out

68: Are you happy with where you live?nope

69: Picture of yourself?

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?im a jealous hoe so just monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped?no

72: What do you most like about making out?i dont think a guy being like a mcfucking vacumn cleaner counts as making out so i wouldnt know

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?yes but again i dont think it counts as making out

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?i just go ‘fuck it' and do it (but only if i know they cool with it)

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?hands and backs, also necks

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?a friend i use to go to school with

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?nah

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?pickup lines im a sucker for them

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?ye! i loves kids

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?yea

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?nope 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?fuck no

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?MCFUCKING YR 9 there was this guy who liked me since yr 7 and me and him were both in dance class at school and OF COURSE the dance teacher put us together for the slow dance performance i left dance and moved to drama cause it just got way too uncomfortable 

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?ye! im dating a furry from the internet

86: How can I win your heart?you already have ;0

87: What is your astrological sign?cancer! karkat

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?the same thing i was doing at 11pm

89: Do you cook?ye but i tend to set things on fire

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?ye

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?i dont have to wish :D

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?id prefer a monogamous relationship

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?not a clue my dude

94: Name four things that you wish you had!more garlic bread from work (we make the BEST gb), mango ice tea, unlimited wifi and a phone that can actually work

95: Are you a player?of games, yes; of people, no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?nope

97: Are you a tease?ive been told i am but i dont mean to lmao

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?i saw @miss--kiwi yesterday at work and than she was mean 2 me even after i gave her gb :

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?what even is love

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?id date the FUCK outta @themysteriousballetanon 

101: Hugs or Kisses?both! oxox

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?normally yes but sometimes ill have a rare moment of bravery lmao

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?height

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?may or may not be a kink for me LMAO

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?fuck no

106: Do you flirt a lot?i have no idea how so sometimes ppl think im flirting when im being friendly, or think im being friendly when im flirting

107: Your last kiss?sometime in September in the back of a car with a VACUUM APPARENTLY 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?nope

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?only my doggos cause they deserve all the kisses

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?my girlfriend even though im not into kissing furries :3c

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?my dogs and hopefully teanii

112: Does someone like you currently?i would hope my gf does 

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?ye!! :D

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?flings really arent that great

115: Ever made out with just a friend?ye

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?i thrive off affection so id prefer a relationship

117. you didnt give me a question to answer and ur asleep rn so imma use this spot to say ur a gotdamn cutie