#also my posts aren't showing up in tags anymore so :/

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay��

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[sunahsvt]

—DON'T BELIEVE THE SIGNS

miya atsumu x fem!reader

+ angst (no comfort what y'all expect), lovers to exes

other tags: microcheating, LAZY WRITING, babe/baby nicknames, small cases

wc: 833

note: not proud of this one but i was itching to start and finish this tonight. so :-) not proofread yet again. also if yall read this note pls drop some hq angst series in my ask box plsplspls

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR POST ANYWHERE IN OTHER PLATFORMS

atsumu loves you. he definitely does.

a year into the relationship— and six months of courting— he can say he's contented with you, and he shows it through his words and actions.

there was a time when atsumu drove past the hotel where his ex— who he once thought of was his greatest love— booked their first anniversary to.

you were on the passenger seat, your hand on his where it rests on your lap, fully unaware what was going through his mind. both his hand twitched. you, who didn't let things go unnoticed, giggled at him, brushing your thumbs on the back of his hand.

in his eyes, of course, you're his greatest love.

atsumu walks through the aisle, cart in tow. his eyes saw a chocolate bar he hasn't seen in a while— the exact chocolate bar that his ex had given him for valentine's one time.

he shook his head, asking to himself why he was still reminded of her.

he didn't think much of it the first and second time, but as time went by and more things reminded him of his past lover, he was almost convinced the universe was giving him signs that maybe he hasn't really moved on— that maybe you two weren't really meant for forever. he was almost convinced.

and because he wasn't fully convinced, he didn't do anything about it, but you were beginning to notice something was off.

"baby, did you get my chocolates?"

"yeah, it should still be inside one of the paper bags."

you jumped off of your seat, eyes tired from looking at your laptop screen due to your work from home job.

you croached down to look for the 3 musketeers chocolate you dearly love, but there was only maltesers and twix bars. you frowned.

"i don't see any muskeeters in here, babe," you whined.

his eyes furrowed, "huh? i bought maltesers. aren't those your fave?"

you shook your head, your lips forming a thin line.

atsumu's eyes widen slightly in realization, you almost didn't catch it.

the silence passed for a minute, both of you staring at each other. you weren't sure if you should confirm it, but in your mind, he didn't need to.

he mistakened her favorite chocolate as your's.

he apologized, but that doesn't mean it didn't get worse. that doesn't mean signs about his ex didn't stop showing up, and that doesn't mean it didn't gradually made him uncomfortable.

y/n: can you take out paella for dinner? cant cook tonight :-(

tsumtsum: ocake

y/n: ty! i love you!

tsumtsum: i love u

when atsumu got home that night, he had bought paella for take out good for two. being a considerate boyfriend, he made sure it wasn't seafood since you're apparently allergic to shellfish.

but when you padded your feet to the dinning room and saw the chicken and chorizo paella, your eyebrows knit together. you weren't a pick eater but seafood, especially shrimp, was your absolute favorite. you were looking forward to having seafood for dinner.

but why isn't it seafood paella?

you gulped the hurt that you were feeling rising up your throat from your chest. atsumu was too busy looking for something to drink in the fridge.

"was there no seafood available?"

he glanced over his shoulder to look at you, "what do you mean? you're allergic."

"babe."

"what?"

"i love seafood."

this time his eyes slowly closed, realizing another mistake. another thing he forgot about you.

"what are you not telling me?"

he couldn't tell you. not when he wasn't sure, so he shook his head, apologized and made up an excuse.

from there on, he kept trying to make up to you. but it just didn't feel the same anymore because it either felt like out of obligation or he was trying to cover up the other things he hurt you for. each time he does, he doesn't realize his temper was thinning.

you tried to communicate with him over and over again whenever something felt off.

but your patience, your empathy, your love can only go so far.

what he doesn't notice is he wipes his lips or cheek whenever you kiss him.

what he doesn't notice is he glowered whenever you talked.

what he doesn't notice is he stopped exerting effort.

he doesn't notice he's showing all the signs that he's gradually falling out of love.

he doesn't notice that he's losing you.

but you do.

you, the silly lover girl who didn't let things go unnoticed.

you tried one last time to communicate to him your feelings. irritated, he only said, "i'm tired of this."

so after you waited him to go to sleep, you decided to leave.

you place a hand on his forehead and kiss the back of your hand as goodbye, fearing that even in his sleep he'd find annoyance in it— that it'd wake him up or he'd wipe the kiss away even in his sleep.

that was the last time atsumu has seen you.

and he noticed now that he shouldn't have believed in the signs.

general masterlist | haikyuu masterlist

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR POST ANYWHERE IN OTHER PLATFORMS

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part nineteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: i'm sorry it took me so long to post this omg i am behind on writing bc i'm so sick but i'm also trying to get ahead on requiem BUT-

Important Announcement!!:

cold nights will officially have a season 3! i wasn't sure but i had a good idea for what the epilogue would be and then i realized it would be so much better as another fully developed idea. so, that will be coming soon!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

Coryo smiles as you run up ahead of him, picking up his pace slightly and dropping his bag next to yours.

Some of the others are already stripped down to their bathing suits and running down the dock. It is beautiful here, not that he ever doubted you.

He watches as you peel off your dress, another short one similar to the one you had worn for most of the time he'd known you. This one wasn't sewn in at the middle, so you can slip it quickly over your head. Your bathing suit must have been homemade, too, and it allowed him to see how the bruises and scratches on your back were all but healed while you toss your dress to the ground. He notices quickly that it was exactly the same as Lucy Gray's, maybe your mother had made you matching ones. That's so sweet.

Your skin looked so beautifully soft- just like it should have the first time he saw it, spare for the scars on your calf and your arm, it was just what he imagined.

You kick your shoes off, and the wood of the dock is hot against your bare feet as you run down to the end, diving head-first off to the side to avoid jumping right onto any of your friends.

It seemed to Coryo that you weren't afraid anymore as you briefly looked back at him while you were running. The excited scream you let out when you lept from the dock made his heart flutter. This is exactly what he had wanted, from the very beginning.

When Coryo jumps in behind you, you can hear his shout and feel the water shift around you as his body breaks the surface. You turn under the water, its clarity allowing you to see where everyone is. You loved this. The memories of this lake kept you safe, almost. You can hear muffled laughter above the water, deciding to take your time before coming up for air. You didn't need it just yet.

You swim away from everyone deep under the surface, scanning the lake floor for anything interesting. Really, it was just sticks and rocks and mud, but one day you may find something else exciting, but not today.

"Where is she going?" Coryo comments, watching your body as you kick away deeper under the water.

"Wherever she wants." Lennox answers plainly, treading water as he stares at him.

"She's looking for secrets." Maude Ivory giggles, splashing him in the face. At least she gave him somewhat of an answer.

He quickly lifts an arm to block the wave, but it fails miserably. "What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" He coughs out, wiping the water from his eyes.

"Once we found a watch." Lucy Gray shrugs, looking from him to you. "Which is odd because we didn't know anyone else knew about this place. The secrets are what happens when we aren't here."

You hardly noticed the lack of oxygen until it almost felt too late, quickly swimming up and pushing your hair out of your face so you don't inhale it by mistake.

"Anything good today?" Lucy Gray shouts over to you as soon as she's noticed you've come up.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so!" You pant, pushing yourself through the water back toward her.

"So, that's a no?" Sejanus asks and you laugh, shaking your head.

"Just rocks and sticks." You explain, joining them again and bumping shoulders with Lucy Gray. "Some weeds, if that's your fancy."

"Oh, yes, that's right up my alley." Sejanus chuckles, cupping his hands to block out the glare of the sun as he looks down into the water anyway.

"I've never been to a lake before," Coryo says, breathing heavily as the waves from the kids splashing keep coming up too close to his face.

"What? Really?" Lucy Gray and Sejanus ask in unison, and you smile at him.

He nods, eyes locking with yours. You feel the need to say something. "Is it everything you dreamt of?" You ask.

"Just about." He grins.

"Oh? What's missing?" You giggle.

Oh, only being able to hold you without retraumatizing you.

"It's not that anything is missing," He comes up with as an excuse. "There's just more birds than I expected."

"Oh, yeah. They like it out here." You hum, looking up at the trees while Lucy Gray whistles out a tune for them to mimic. You smile. "Why, you don't like birds either?"

"Never been the biggest fan, no." He chuckles.

The birds echo her song back to you repeatedly. Coryo turns around to watch as if there was anything to see besides these black birds flitting around the trees and above the cabin. "What kind of birds are they?" He asks. "I've never seen that before."

"We call 'em Mockingjays." Lucy Gray tells him.

"'Cause they'll mock ya if you mess up the song!" Clerk Carmine jumps in, climbing onto Lucy Gray's back under the water.

"Oh, I wouldn't know." Your friend teases him, gripping tight onto the boy's legs as he starts to shout. He knows what's about to happen, and clearly you do too as Coryo watches you and your brother quickly swim out of their reach and closer to him.

You laugh, watching as Lucy Gray takes a big dramatic breath in and sinks under the surface of the water, pulling CC down with her as he screams and splashes.

The sun dried you quickly after you decided you had had enough of the water, climbing back out onto the dock and deciding to just lay your blanket there to dry off on while you took the book and snacks from your bag.

Coryo had been sitting with Lucy Gray and Sejanus, but they were just talking to each other more than him. Not that he could have paid much attention. He was just watching you.

"Can I go talk to her?" He asks with little regard for the conversation that he was interrupting.

They both look over at him. "I mean, you could try. Would that be okay?" Sejanus answers, looking to Lucy Gray for confirmation.

"No. Let her have her peace and quiet." Lennox interrupts as he walks back up in front of them, pulling his shirt back onto his now fully dried skin.

Lucy Gray sighs."Just... Don't be stupid." She advises Coryo, nodding him on. "Len, we'll be right here."

Your brother shakes his head slightly, glaring between the three of them with nothing short of adamant disapproval.

Coryo nods slightly, taking the preferable answer by getting up and heading back down onto the dock.

Lennox looks back over his shoulder to where he just was with Maude Ivory looking for katniss, before taking Coryo's spot on the deck.

"Did she not tell you anything about him?" Lennox mumbles to Lucy Gray, eyes locked on his sister and her 'friend' as he stands over her. "No, she must have- because you were at The Hob last week. You saw it."

"I saw a girl with a lot of unresolved trauma have an episode." Lucy Gray explains, watching Lennox take Coryo's spot next to her. "He made a mistake, but he wouldn't ever hurt her."

Your brother opens his mouth to argue, but Sejanus interrupts. "I know it isn't my place, but Lucy Gray is right. He would sooner die than hurt her."

"Okay, well, explain how he's sitting right next to her when he's already hurt her so bad she may never recover!" Lennox whispers, gesturing to the dock as if they couldn't already see you there.

"I'm not defending anything he's done. That's not what I meant." Sejanus explains. "I just mean he would never do it on purpose."

"Accidents are clearly bad enough."

"Len, he just wants to make amends now." Lucy Gray insists. "And she wants that. I know she does, she's really trying."

"Listen, if it helps..." Sejanus starts, looking back out at you and Coryo on the dock. He can tell how nervous his friend is, watching you intently as he picks at the wood finish beneath him and listening to you talk. "He really loves her. I know it's not my place to tell you that, but it was bad when she was gone. He hardly spoke a word to anyone, he wouldn't put her book down- it was really hard on him. We weren't sure if she had been executed for cheating, and it was killing him to be left in the dark."

"That's not love, that's guilt." Lennox mutters, watching you closely.

"What's the difference between love and guilt?" Lucy Gray asks him rhetorically. "He wouldn't feel guilty if he didn't care."

"The difference is he wouldn't have come here and made the same mistake again."

Lucy Gray bites into her lip, slightly shaking her head. That was an honestly good point.

"I was in the arena, too. I saw what he did." Sejanus says after a moment. "He saved my life, it was my fault. It was shocking... you know, the overkill, but I can't say for certain I wouldn't have done the same thing. We were both pumped so full of adrenaline that I truly believe that's what it was." He explains. "I mean, I was behind him, so I don't know what she saw- but it looked like adrenaline to me."

"How do you think she felt?" Lennox asks, eyes wide. "She was in there for three days! You and him were there for what, ten minutes?"

"Wait..." Lucy Gray backpedals, looking at Sejanus. "Sejanus, what do you mean you thought he was executed for cheating? Like, in the games?"

Sejanus swallows, nodding. He looks over at you but quickly looks away. "Yeah, uh... Coryo told me that she used rat poison to kill two of the others. And he did something to keep the snakes from biting her, but I don't think he was caught for that."

Your brother and best friend look at each other like they'd just seen a ghost before their eyes simultaneously track to you. You were laughing.

"She didn't... She didn't tell me that." Lucy Gray says quietly. "Did you know, Len?"

"No."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sejanus shrugs and they both look at him, shocked and confused. "Well, she doesn't know either. I don't think, definitely not about the snakes, but she told the Dean it was salt. That I gave her." He laughs slightly at the end, but they don't find it funny. "By the time she left, she was fully delusional about it. She knew what it was, Coryo gave it to her to protect herself because he needed her to win. She was really upset by the insinuation that it, in fact, was not salt."

Lucy Gray and Lennox look at each other again, unsure what to say. It must have been worse than they thought. Regardless, they knew it must be eating you alive.

"Can I join you?" You hear Coryo's voice above you after about ten minutes of listening to the mockingjays sing Lucy Gray's song back to her as she sat on the porch of the cabin. The sun was so warm on your skin that you could have fallen asleep here if you weren't reading your book.

You squint against the sun as you look up at him. "Yes, you may." You agree, and you feel him sitting down next to you as the wood creaks below him.

You find yourself holding your breath, even as you return to your book to try and remain relaxed.

He's not going to hurt you.

"What are you reading?" He asks after a moment, thinking your arms must be asleep for using them to hold the book and support your weight for so long.

"It's called 'Much Ado About Nothing'." You answer. "Another Shakespeare piece."

"Do you like it?" He asks, lifting his leg to rest his elbow on his knee while you sit up, crossing your legs and letting the book fall into your lap.

"I do." You smile down at the page. It is much more lighthearted than Romeo and Juliet, as much as you would have loved to come home and drown yourself in your favourite book- the boy next to you unintentionally made it impossible. God, you were so embarrassed by the letter you wrote to him. Your cheeks flush just think about it. All you did by surviving was make everything weird.

"Another tragedy?" He inquires, attempting to read some of the words on the page as it's opened on your lap.

"No." You chuckle, shaking your head. "It's a romantic comedy, actually."

"Oh, wow. You changed it up?" He asks, only somewhat shocked. It would only make sense that you couldn't handle much more tragedy since you've been home.

"I did." You smile. "It's quite funny."

"Will you read me your favourite part?" He suggests, watching your eyes as they light up with excitement from the request.

"Okay, so..." You quickly flip back through the pages and into the first act, scanning for the lines you're looking for. "Okay. Here." You pretend to clear your throat.

"In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature." You recite, dragging your finger along the page so he can track what you are reading. You remembered it, but it might have been easier for him to follow that way.

Coryo watched you the whole time, and by the end, you were a giggling mess. You thought it was absolutely hilarious, and he smiles at that.

"What does that mean?" He chuckles.

"So," You laugh, a hand pressed to your chest. "Basically, she's talking about how she was arguing with Benedick and won. The punchline is that she let him keep one of his wits, because if she didn't no one would be able to tell him from his horse."

Coryo laughs at that, shaking his head. "That is good." He agrees.

"Isn't it?" You smile. "It's a welcome change of pace."

"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet was... yikes." He says, ticking his jaw and peeling up some of the wood from the dock between you.

"You read it?" You ask quietly, eyes widening as you look over at him. It shouldn't shock you, he told you he would, and that he even looked forward to it. "What did you think?"

"Of course I did," Coryo nods. "I really enjoyed it."

"It doesn't seem like it..." You laugh nervously, looking down as you flip back to the page you were on before closing the book.

"No, truly. I did." He insists. "Just... for lack of a better term, it was tragic."

"Yes, well..." You chuckle, shrugging slightly and tucking your book back into the bag next to you.

"It was heartbreaking!" He laughs suddenly. "And that's your favourite?" He looks at you then, head tilted as he slightly shakes his head.

"Okay, so," You laugh, rolling your eyes. You were used to defending this to others who have tried reading it. "That's what makes it so beautiful. It's so touching, they died for each other thinking they were in love, but they also hardly knew each other. It forces you to wonder what could have been, and I like that."

"Okay, well, you're right." Coryo agrees. "I didn't like the ending, but that's the point, I suppose. The rest was good, it reminded me a lot of you."

"I think I forced a bias onto you. My apologies."

"You didn't force anything on me." He smiles, shaking his head. "All I knew is that you loved it, and that made it so much better."

Your cheeks flush as you busy yourself by pulling out the bag of cherries. "Would you like some?" You offer the bag to him and he reaches in, taking just a couple out and popping one into his mouth.

"I finished it all before you left." Coryo tells you, and you hold him out another empty paper bag to spit the pits into.

"That good?" You smile and he nods.

"Can I..." Coryo starts, and you tilt your head at him. He doesn't want to ruin your day by bringing this up. Everything on your face shows hope, even excitement for what he is going to say. "If you can't hear this stop me, but the book made great company in the mentor hall."

For a moment, he saw nervousness flicker behind your eyes, but still, you nodded. You wanted to hear anything he had to say- you just hoped you could stomach it.

"Oh, that's fine. I'm... I'm glad." You try and smile, distracting yourself by popping a cherry into your mouth.

"I was alone most of the time. I didn't go home." He tells you, trying to say what he wanted but still be as vague as possible.

"It must have been so horribly boring." You laugh nervously, swallowing the cherry pit as you reach for another of the small red fruits, picking the stem from it and flicking it into the lake.

"I wish it was." He replies, watching you closely to see if and when he's crossed a line. You nod in understanding, and he takes a nervous breath in. "I... The alternative was that I got sent home like some of my classmates. I wasn't going to leave until I had to."

'Until I had to.'

So he was forced to go in for Sejanus. Why on earth would they not send peacekeepers? Why another child?

"I... I appreciate that." You stammer out, looking down at your lap, noticing for the first time that your hands were trembling. "That must have been uncomfortable. I apologize."

Coryo furrows his brow at you. "No, I'm sorry. Why would you apologize to me?" He asks. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. That I couldn't get you out."

"You did more than you had to." You say, voice quiet with your honesty.

"No." He shakes his head. "I had to do everything I did. I couldn't let you die."

"You saved my life, and... and-" It happens very suddenly when a tear falls down your cheek; you didn't even notice you were starting to panic.

"No, wait, I'm sorry, hey, don't cry..." Coryo says quickly. He wants to help, to do something, but he feels helpless. Again. He feels sick with the knowledge that he always says the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." You mumble, trying to wipe your eyes but you're finding it hard to speak.

"Don't be, please don't be sorry." He pleads with you, shifting so he's kneeling next to you, placing a hand on your back.

You almost jump away, head flying to look at him. He's just rubbing your back. He's only trying to help.

Instinctively, your eyes search for his. They aren't hard to find, and all you can see as you search them is worry. Nothing malicious. "I... Do you want me to get Lucy Gray? Or your brother?" He offers, grabbing your shaking hands in his free one. "Just take deep breaths."

You nod, scared to look away for even a second. So he has to.

Coryo turns back, swallowing his pride. "Lennox! Lucy Gray!" He shouts, drawing their attention quickly.

He accepted the berating he was about to get from your brother before it even came.

"What did you do?" Lennox asks him, forcing himself between the two of you.

"We were just talking and I think I said something- I don't know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Coryo answers honestly, standing up and taking a step back.

You're watching him, intently, despite Lucy Gray taking over holding you and talking to you in hushed tones, trying to ease your mind.

"I'm okay." You tell her, nodding. You don't look at her, only watching him. Watching his eyes- but nothing changes. Baby blue. Worry. More worry.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[autistichalsin]

It has come to my attention that some are disappointed with the content I share here. Namely, some are angry that I "push certain views of Halsin" by only reblogging headcanons that agree with my own.

To be clear, I am a Tumblr blog, not a lending library. I am under no obligation to give equal attention to every perspective. I will reblog a headcanon for one of two reasons: 1. I agree with it, 2. I didn't agree with it, but I enjoyed how the author presented it and wanted to share it.

To expect me to reblog posts that do not interest me for either of the above reasons just to give "equal attention" to all interpretations of Halsin is staggeringly entitled. If you want a blog that focuses on every Halsin post equally, make a "the Halsin tag" blog that automatically reblogs every post shared in his tag, or if you can't program, reblog them yourself. I have seen them done for other characters and ships before, and they are always enjoyed by all. I know I would certainly follow and reblog from such a project. But THIS page is not that project. I do NOT love all views of Halsin equally, I don't love all Halsin ships equally, I don't like all Halsin fics equally. I am here to reblog what makes ME happy, and to share the thoughts that make ME happy.

Which brings me to my next point: some are also angry that I write metas only from my own point of view. These metas are a labor of love for me. I enjoy analyzing media, which is why I'm also planning a side project of analyzing some of my favorite TV shows. I am not here to analyze all interpretations of my favorite media, though. I am here to analyze the ones that interest me.

If you would like me to analyze and reach the conclusions you do (such as Halsin being a happy middle aged guy who has no problems of his own, or Halsin being 100% healed from his sexual assault, or Halsin having had no friction at all with his Grove until the day he left with Aradin), I suggest you DM me so we can discuss a commissioner's fee, or perhaps me setting up a Patreon for you to support my work. If you aren't going to be compensating me (which is understandable, these are hard times) then I would ask that you let me enjoy my hobby in peace, and understand that no one is obligated to make content for free that caters specifically to you. Or you could just save us all the trouble and block me so you don't have to see my metas anymore.

But demanding I cater my metas to every viewpoint, that I reblog equally from all points of view, all ships, etc relating to Halsin, is absolutely insane and entitled behavior, and with all the respect these individuals have shown me when making these complaints, I am going to decline at this time. Thanks.

[parkerloves]

HEAD OVER HEELS | OP81 x Fem!Reader

MASTERLIST

paring: oscar piastri x childhood friend!fem!reader, platonic!logan sargeant x fem!reader

summary: oscar definitely likes her, she's just blind and logan is tired of the tension

fc; shannon lynch + pinterest girls (but picture her as you like)

notes: my first language isn't english and this is also my first blog soo sorry if this isn't great<3

yourusername has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 256 other

yourusername: back on the paddock to support my fav idiots<3

tagged: logansargeant, oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri: and MY picture?

yourusername: in my phone

oscarpiastri: are you that ashamed of me? :(

yourusername: ... dramatic

logansargeant: you had to choose the worst picture?

yourusername: but you look sooo cute

logansargeant: yeah... very cute

oscarpiastri: thanks for the beautiful picture @yourusername

logansargeant: I hate you... both

yourusername: my pleasure ossie 🫡

user345: SHE'S GORGEOUS I get Logan and Oscar now

user275: you look AMAZING in papaya

liked by the creator

1) your chats with oscar

2) logansargeant posted an story

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 296,983 others

yourusername: like- why?

logansargeant: so oscar stops texting me about when you're going to go see him

yourusername: ...

logansargeant: and to bother you

yourusername: that's more like it

logansargeant has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 654,643 others

logansargeant: so wanting her to have your signed cap is completely normal, right?

tagged: oscarpiastri, yourusername

oscarpiastri: yes...?

logansargeant: ofc romeo

yourusername: idiots

alex_albon: they haven't kissed yet? really?

logansargeant: sadly no

yourusername: LOGAN

oscarpiastri has posted!

liked by logansargeant, yourusername and 354,653 others

oscarpiastri: my lucky charm is back, so I look forward this weekend!

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: idk what would you do without me honestly

oscarpiastri: probably die or smth

oscarpiastri: did you seriously take my phone to do that?

yourusername: to spread facts baby

logansargeant: a bit to the left the next time

oscarpiastri: I'm killing you like rn

logansargeant: you know you want it

logansargeant has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 276,653 others

logansargeant: I'm third wheeling all day AND THEY AREN'T EVEN A COUPLE

tagged: oscarpiastri, yourusername

yourusername: maybe if you stopped being on the phone you wouldn't feel left out

logansargeant: you'll need pictures to show your future kids

yourusername: again with this conversation? really?

logansargeant: you know I'm right

oscarpiastri: I need those pictures right now

user678: OSCAR???

logansargeant: if you kiss her :)

yourusername has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 654 other

yourusername: do you think that after this @logansargeant would shut up? also, look at the pretty boy<33

tagged: oscarpiastri

logansargeant: OMG FINALLY

yourusername: oh so he won't... why did I post this then?

logansargeant: WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

yourusername: it depends

oscarpiastri: even when I felt asleep

yourusername: I had to, you're too pretty

user345: THEY'RE SO CUTE STOP

oscarpiastri has posted!

liked by logansargeant, yourusername and 354,653 others

oscarpiastri: maybe I do like her... a little bit

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: A LITTLE BIT? then I don't like you anymore

logansargeant: NOT AFTER ALL OF THIS

oscarpiastri: could I compensate it with an I love you?

yourusername: ...

yourusername: maybe

logansargeant: it took you BOTH long enough god

yourusername: fuck you

logansargeant: fuck him instead

oscarpiastri: I agree with logan

yourusername: OSCAR

idk if I really like this but yeah, here it is!!

[snowcollector]

CARLYRAEJEPSANS is a proshipper who lies about it, ships char(asriel and is mutuals with popular UTDR in(cest shippers, necrophil(ia fic posters, UTDR ra(pe fic posters, sh(otacons and groomers

readmore for triggering content since people requested it after my last callout

first of all carlyraejepsans posted this on their good omens blog which shows that they think anticest people on their utdr blog are basically stupid children and they talk about having a nec(rophilia/corpsef**cking mutual

and as you can see in the first few screenshots they HATE people who are against in(cest fic. they're also friends with imptwins who they used to have blocked for making under(age UTDR art

but now they're friends again.

IMPTWINS makes r(ape fic of S(uselle (drugging and r(aping her) and carlyraejepsans used to have them blocked for their reputation but doesn't care anymore and unblocked them but they definitely know about it

imptwins also admitted to committing actual se(xual assault against real people and downplayed it by saying it's just what all teens do.

despite Imptwins admitting to se(xually assaulting multiple people carlyrae has defended this and changed the story so it was just one person in a bad relationship imptwins se(xually assaulted and then threatened to beat people to death for bringing it up

imptwins and kimberlyeab made friends with a minor who read their s(mut (like the Suselle drugging/ra(ping fic they advertised in the main UTDR tags with no content filters so it can't be blocked or filtered) and invited the minor into their private discord servers and sent the minor into my askbox to defend them and "prove" they aren't being groomed.

carlyraepesans is also mutuals with wordbending who is a sh(otacon

who is a supporter of kimberlyeab and wordbending loves in(cest, as you can see here

wordbending also makes in(cest fic of underage UTDR characters including char(isk s(mut which carlyraejepsans reads because it's aged up and they think aged up Frisk is hot

they also think it's okay to se(xualize the kid characters and age them up to do it

(this was about flowey/asriel but they use it to excuse them reading "aged up" sm(ut of charisk and finding frisk attractive)

carlyraejepsans is a big supporter of fictional in(cests and thinks toby fox is too

they interact with people who have proship DNI because they don't care.

they unfollowed Ish_Bruhh after they made a callout post for Zixzs (who makes in(cest porn of Kris/Toriel) but they used to follow them

and they support kimberlyeab who lies about their age and intercts with a 15 year old who reads their utdr ns(fw content and blocked me for telling them kimberlyeab was a groomer (proof post here) and liked this tweet AFTER I showed them proof kimberlyeab was a groomer

they also ship char(asriel which is an in(cest ship

they also lied about having the tag blocked because they often reblog art that open tagged ch(asriel which they wouldn't see if they had the tag blocked

this was reblogged from their mutual wordbending who again writes s(mut of them char(isk and char(asriel and likes sh(otacon

carlyrae pretends the reason they don't interact with wordbending anymore is because of the sh(otacon thing but it's actually just because wordbending got banned, imptwins also retweens lol(isho and carlyrae is still friends with imptwins.

carlyraejepsans knows about what these people do and says that who they interact with is none of my business even though they're admitted pe(dophiles who have committed irl se(xual assault

so if you're wondering why they blocked you for no reason it's probably because you're against in(cest and und(ragefic and sh(otacon and all their friends and mutuals are into it but they're hiding it from the public for their reputation so they can keep following people with proship DNI in their profiles

[mental-illness-bingo]

Struggling with transitions isn't always externalized in the form of a meltdown. Here are some examples of things (from an autistic former early childhood teacher) that also count as struggling with transitions.

Note: I'm including things to do with adult transitions and childhood transitions here. Examples and explanations are given in italics.

Trying to politely decline to transition - sometimes, this may include lying about your wants/needs or not even realizing you want or need something because your brain isn't processing that information during the stress of a transition; "Becca, it's time for snack." "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

Undetectable self-harm behaviors - digging nails into palm, "itching" when you aren't itchy, internally degrading yourself, biting cheek or tongue, holding breath until you can't anymore. Self-harm during transitions is a common and valid struggle, even if you didn't try to use it as leverage to avoid the transition.

Undetectable stimming to regulate (very healthy!) - especially with objects that have a similar texture to one from the previous area or material

Slow or stuttered transitions - Starting to move on, but repeatedly having "just one more thing (you) forgot" or physically walking away slower possibly while staring at the previous area or material

Verbal shutdown (total or partial) during or immediately after transitions - this could be part of a more overall shutdown or exist on it's own

Fixating on the previous task/area/material - may show by excessively talking about the previous task long after others have moved on for example trying to tell everyone about your cool lego building or even showing them pictures of it (taking pictures is good coping mechanism for moving on from a toy) long after everyone stopped playing with or talking about legos, or if you were moving from legos to drawing, wanting to draw a picture of legos

Keeping materials from the previous task - if you were playing with legos, but have to clean up, you might keep some to build with or even a single lego on your person somewhere as a comfort. In larger/life transitions, you may refuse to get rid of something long past when it is socially acceptable (such as an ex's shirt) or taking something "strange" such as a piece of trim or a scrap of wallpaper from a previous house.

Brain fog, fatigue, disorientation, and/or dissociation during and/or immediately after a transition

Internal emotional distress during/immediately after transitions - due to autistic issues with emotional regulation, these emotions may last the rest of the day if not supported because of bottling up the emotions

Executive dysfunction post-transition - especially if you don't usually struggle with it or weren't before the transition

When going to bed, insomnia is an extremely common presentation of struggling with transitions

Feel free to add on! Preferably in the text of the reblog rather than in tags so I can reblog this with your additions, but either works!

I also want to specify that not all of these are harmful or negative responses to transitions. If you do these things and they help you without hurting anyone, that's fine! This is just to help give you the language to get help as needed because it's much easier to get help if you say "I struggle with transitions because of my autism" than "I'm struggling right now but I'm not sure why".

[herecirmsims]

SMALL SIMBLR SATURDAY SHOUTOUTS !!

I somehow missed this being arranged, but I LOVE the idea!! So much! Big up to all the incredible free CC makers on here who share such wonderful things with us. I've spent all morning writing this so it's got a bit long, but honestly... I think it was an excellent use of my time.

Keep being excellent, all of you!

Just a few of my Always Free faves:

Poses

@simmireen : the queen! The legend! And someone who I'm so happy to call my friend. Irene is absolutely my go-to when I need those sweet (and sometimes spicy!) moments. I know she doubts herself at times and doesn't like it when I yell about how amazing she is, but she is such a treasure and does SO much behind the scenes - more than many people realise, I think.

@alpine-lapine-deactivated202311 : unfortunately they're not on Tumblr anymore, but I'm including them anyway because I LOVE them and they've created so many fantastic free posepacks, CC, and tutorials - it's all still available to download!

@adjusted-karma : I'm rabidly addicted to her pin-up series, I don't mind admitting it. All her poses are so good though, she also makes CAS and pose accessories, and has been kind enough to answer my dumb Blender questions more than once!

@samsstudio : an absolute staple for storytellers. She was one of the first posemakers I ever discovered and I use her poses in almost every story post I make - the variations are so useful and the packs are so clearly labelled and organised, I love not having to squint at my screen to figure out what I need. There's always something that works perfectly for the scene.

@simmerberlin : she may be retired from posemaking, but how could I not include her? I also use SimmerBerlin's poses in pretty much all of my story posts (SimmerBerlin and SamsStudio single-handedly keep my story going) - especially her fantastic Emotions series.

@libetsims : this posemaker really needs to be seen more! I use her Emotions series all the time, and she makes so many child poses which are sorely needed for storytellers!

@madebycoffee : so many great posepacks - I use the Hugs series and the spicy poses so often. And the deco Sims! So good and so needed!!

@rebouks : fantasic, expressionate poses that are PERFECT for storytellers. And so many fantastic packs to choose from!

@marshmallow-sims : I really adore their cute style!! Another go-to for cute couple poses, especially ones that fit with the TS4 style. There's always so much life to them.

@raspberrywhimss : my beloved! A new posemaker but so talented! She also makes a lot of storytelling pregnancy poses, which I think are much needed.

@whimsyalien : I love how emotive her poses are!! They're so fun and with such great expressions. Perfect for storytellers!

@enniewritesathing : one of the first posemakers whose poses I ever used! They are sooooo good at spice and cute couples.

@theserenadeofshadows : another new posemaker and an absolute angel!! Please show her some support!

@ratboysims : the quality of these poses are soooo good! Absolutely one of my favourite makers.

@morrigan-sims : another Simmer who could go in any category, but I especially love her poses! Really good for fantasy/medieval storytellers!

Toysofdukeness : they aren't actually on Tumblr, but I'm including them anyway! Absolutely amazing quality poses. Just so good.

CAS

@notsooldmadcatlady : my go-to for medieval* outfits (I think this tag will show you most of their CC!). My Sims are so well-dressed now!! I'm blown away by the quality of their clothes! *Aka clothes that suit my extremely pseudo-medieval fantasy storyline lmao

@woosteru : they're retired, but if you missed them - their CC is still available here! Truly amazing quality and they also made some femme clothing for masc frames, which I truly appreciate.

@crazy-lazy-elder-sims : amaaaaazing alt clothing lines!! Always jaw-dropping and so creative. They also make BB items too!

@kevinandthesims : literally the best boxers available; I don't make the rules, that's just fact. And he also shares incredible no CC builds!

@xldkx-cc : I didn't know whether to put them in CAS or BB, because I rely HEAVILY on their amazing deco Sims but they also make stunning clothing and hair! So... just check out both?!

@laeska : I'm in love with the hair this creator makes!! It's SO beautifully made?!

@courierseis : another whose outfits I use all the time in my medieval/fantasy stuff! They also make hair and poses! Use this tag to easily find their downloads.

@lonelygravescc : more delicious alt goodness!! Honestly I wish I could own most of this CC in real life, but alas I will have to live vicariously through my Sims as usual.

@aniraklova : oki so I have an alt obsession, what of it? This creator makes SUCH cool masc-frame CC, as well as poses!

@shandir : I'm soooo in love with these creations, another absolute must have for fantasy-medieval gameplay and storytelling!!

@eachuisge-cc : the imagination and creativity!! I love everything they make - lots of stuff for horses and for animalistic Sims. I've also been highly entertained by the digitigrade legs + unmentionables saga (I dunno if Tumblr flags these words lmaaaaoo).

@saruin : OBSESSED. Obsessed! So many great creations for your ethereal, occult, otherworldly babes.

@zeussim : maker of stunning wedding dresses and also the fantastic Lestat's Lovers set, which requires it's own shout-out because I adore it and it made me so happy to see siuch great fashion for our masc-framed Sims.

@yooniesim : the hair this creator makes are GORGEOUS, and I also really love their accessories too!

@sychik : I think they might be retired now, but they were the first CC creator I ever downloaded from because they'd made hairs and clothing for The Arcana characters. I'd only just got Sims and I spent many happy hours playing with the Main 6, so I hope they know how much joy they gave me. You can use this tag to easily find CC.

Build/Buy

@surely-sims : I was in two minds about whether to include Anne in Poses or BB (or CAS!), because she is THAT talented that she does all. But her BB is so fun and unique and I'm obsessed with the vintage-style promo pics she makes for it, too. I'm also obsessed with Shromp on a cellular level... I'm in a cult of my own making tbh. Oh! And Anne has also started streaming CC tutorials on Twitch which are excellent!

@lumenniveus : I only discovered him fairly recently (because I heard there may be more Shromp content) but I am OBSESSED. OBSESSED. In fact I'm going to specifically shout-out the Runestone and Herbal Cottage Set because I'm using them so much right now and they've instantly become a must-have for my Mods folder.

@destruam : these conversions are EVERYTHING!! I use so much of their CC, especially to stock my medieval story scenes. They also make CAS outfits!

@buildbuymode : some excellent BB and CAS items, and also the maker of the baby rug hider mod which is SO necessary for storytelling/pose use hahah.

@bakiegaming : honestly, what can't this creator do?! I'm OBSESSED with their mods for animated animal life, and they also make fantastic BB and CAS items too.

And a special mention to @simdertalia : although she has recently had to start making a few sets early access, she was creating huge amounts of CC entirely for free before then and has always been so kind and generous. She is absolutely an integral part of my Mods folder because I use her CC all the time (and have made several poses for pieces that inspired me, too). It's always the highest quality and I frequently find myself discovering something that I didn't know I needed but now couldn't go without!

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[rainybraindays]

I don't like making posts like this, I don't like opening my blog up for people to come and harrass me but oh my god, why does the fandom allow posts like this to get away unscathed?

You don’t have to like Marina. I'll never claim that. You can like or dislike whoever you want.

But I do wonder, if Marina was played by a white woman would we get nearly as many posts like this? Would everyone be as okay with it? Would we have been so quiet about the fact that Ruby Barker was harrassed for this role? Or would there be way more people defending her? Would she suddenly be sympathetic when now shes not?

Why are we all so okay with taking this character with a nuanced story, put in a horrible situation with almost no options and turning her into a villian?

Like did we watch the same show? Did you miss the bit where she doesn't want to find a husband at all and only starts when she thinks shes been abandoned, which she only believes because she gets a forged letter saying she was? Did you not see Portia slap her? Did you not also watch a man old enough to be her grandfather being forced on her?

Lying to Colin wasn't okay, I'm not defending that, but literally tell me what her options were?

The man she loves is dead, but she doesn't even know that she thinks he abandoned her, so she can't reasonably assume Phillip will take responsibility when his brother won't. The only people Portias interested in introducing to her are those she wouldn't introduce to her own daughters. She can't reasonably think Colin will be open to her as a wife since shes pregnant becausethats not the norm. But Colin is, he says he would have married her even knowing. And Colin also doesn't view Marina as a villian, in season two hes sad yeah, but he’s also guilty because he doesn't think she deserved what happened.

This is a nuanced messy situation but no one wants to look at that.

Like you all make it very clear you view her as a whore, because she did a very normal thing and had sex. You all view her as a manipulative snake of a person, when if she was even the Whistledown article wouldn't have been a stop for her because she would have tried to get out of it. You conveniently forget that she almost killed herself in an attempt to abort her children because of her mistreatment post Whistledown article because that takes away from the idea you've concocted that shes some villainous bitch.

But then you turn around and want Penelope to have sexual knowledge that she realistically wouldn't and canonically doesn’t. You praise her for her Whistledown work even though it keeps hurting people she loves and shes lying about doing it.

This is weird, posting about how you can't wait for a character to die, and how you hope the death is - lets be honest here- humiliating, is a bizarre thing to do.

Its even more bizarre to do that, tag the character, and then also tag two ships that really the post really isn't about.

Like why is Polin tagged? Because they're both mentioned? This isn't a polin moment. You don’t talk about them at all in the meat of the post. Why is Philoise tagged? Because she's an 'obstacle' for them? They haven't even met, they aren't mentioned at all, they have nothing to do with this.

And on top of tagging these things you say "don't try and defend her to me" which why would we you clearly wouldn't listen. You follow that with saying "If you like her you probably suck" and claim to have tagged this as anti marina when you didn't. You put this in her main tag and then added "death to marina".

Theres no respect to your peers in the fandom, and clear disrespect to people who do like this character and are actually willing to engage with the character beyond fanon portrayal. Because thats what this is its not even taking her at face value anymore.

You wonder why people dislike this fandom, specifically the polin side of it, and do things like this. We as a community need to improve because stuff like this isn't uncommon, this is just one of the most blatant I've seen.

I'm going to be entirely honest if you follow quotegirl19, or don't see the issues with Marinas portrayal and treatment by the fandom this is not the blog for you.

[mastercherry]

This is for my Buddie friends. My buddies, if you will.

I'm recently super in love with Eddie and Buck are already married when Buck joins the 118 and it just never comes up. Or they don't believe him. Or I don't know. It doesn't matter. Whatever the reason, the 118 fam and friends don't know that Buck is married. I've been reading fics like this recently. They're fun.

But there also aren't very many of them. So, first of all, if you have any recs, please send them to me.

Second of all, I had to come up with my own idea for something like this so keep reading to see what it is.

Trigger Warnings: canon typical violence and abuse (Maddie and Doug plus Buck), life threatening situations typical and atypical to the show, witness protection, Eddie potentially thinking Buck is dead so maybe tempory character death, and I think I'm going to make it where the Buckley parents are killed in a car accident or something. I would tag more things if I actually wrote this or anything.

So. Let's start at the beginning. Evan and Maddie Buckley are living with their parents when Doug comes into the picture. Maddie is so in love with him, it's a little concerning. At least, according to her parents. They are very adamant that she needs to stop seeing him.

She doesn't. She fights them tooth and nail to be with Doug. Her little brother Evan is torn between supporting her and agreeing with their parents. But he's young. He doesn't understand.

Sadly, their parents are killed in a car accident. Maddie fights to keep Buck and she's able to become his legal guardian. Doug becomes the dad Buck always wanted. For a while, it's good. It's great even. They're a small little family, but they're so, so happy. It's amazing.

Until it isn't. Until Doug shows his true colors. He gets so angry so fast. And might be young but he's not stupid. He knows that Maddie is hurting. So he starts acting out. When Doug is mad at him, he leaves Maddie alone. That's all that Evan cares about. If only he could do more. But for Maddie, he can at least be the one who ends up in the ER. Not her.

But Maddie can't let him keep doing this. She has to protect her little brother. They live in this horrible limbo for a few years until Evan is 18. He crashed his new bike that Doug bought for him. He's going to be so mad. He has to warn Maddie. Or maybe... maybe he can convince her to leave with him.

"You and me, Maddie. Come on. Let's go. Just the two of us."

And she wants to leave. She does. But she knows that Doug won't let them. Won't let her. But she agrees. She knows what she has to do. The next day, she watches him leave in the Jeep. She's battered and bruised, but watching him leave actually feels like a weight lifting off her chest.

Evan travels. He goes everywhere he can, trying to find somewhere he belongs. He worries about Maddie every day and sends post cards to her work so she knows he's okay. She holds onto them like a lifeline.

Evan eventually ends up in Texas. That's where he meets Eddie. Helping out on a ranch. It's hard work, harder than anything else he's done up to this point. But being there with Eddie actually makes it fun. He never wants to leave. He even gets invited over to the Diaz house where he meets a tiny little Christopher. The Diaz family is the one he always wanted. So warm and fill of love. They take him in, teach him Spanish, teach him how to make the best food. Teach him about family.

It's no surprise to anyone when he and Eddie start dating. He keeps Maddie updated through his post cards until one day he gets one in return. He recognizes her hand writing. She says she's so happy for him. And how she wishes she could meet Eddie and his son. But she also says that Buck shouldn't send her anymore cards. How Doug found one and how he had wanted to go to that place and bring Evan back home.

And, well, Evan can't do that. He needs to let Maddie know that he's okay. So every so often him and Eddie take a little road trip to send a postcard to Maddie from somewhere else. Just to let her know he's okay. Plus, him and Eddie are going to get married and she has to be there.

But on the day they're supposed to get married there's no sign of her. He's disappointed but he doesn't let it get him down. He's marrying his best friend. He's adopting a son. His life couldn't get any better.

And then, of course, it all comes crashing down. Maddie's friend at the hospital, her only friend there, calls Evan.

"Maddie hasn't been to work in a couple days. She hasn't called or anything. I'm worried about her."

Evan has to leave. Eddie wants to come with him, but Evan won't have his family anywhere near Doug. And he's coming back with his sister this time.

Long story, short, Evan goes back home to check on Maddie. She's hurt when he finds her and he's already called 9-1-1 when Doug finds them. It's ugly. And they watch Doug kill someone. One of their neighbour's I guess. And the police show up. And they're all rushed to the hospital. And they're met with even more police. And the FBI. Turns out Doug wasn't just the bad guy. He was A bad guy. A bad guy in a whole family of bad guys.

And so Buck and Maddie have to go into Witness Protection until Doug and his family are taken care of for good. Evan doesn't even get to say goodbye to Eddie and Christopher. He just gets carried away to a new place to start a new life.

Alone.

He ends up in Los Angeles, CA. He's going crazy. He can't talk to Maddie or Eddie or Christopher. He can talk to his agent. That's about it. Despite his agents better judgement, he goes out for the fire department. He's too restless to do anything else. He has to help someone. He needs to do something useful. Meaningful.

And that's how Kyle "Buck" Jones joined the 118. How'd he get his nickname? No one knows.

[lover-of-mine]

How are you doing? I noticed that you make a lot of anti bucktommy posts now and I was wondering if everything is alright?

I used to follow you but I couldn't handle the hate and the negativity anymore. But still think you have a great blog.

Do you think you'll be able to go back to the way things were before if Tommy isn't in season 8?

Okay, look, I add that tag to everything I make that mentions the relationship because I'm not talking about it as someone who likes it and I want to give people the chance to not see that if they enjoy bt and still want to follow me. I tag things for people to block the tag just as much as I do so that people can find them. Most of those posts are me responding to asks. According to jet black code only 10 of those aren't asks. You think I'm posting too much hate and negativity? You have no idea how much negativity I filter. I have over 300 asks in my inbox right now. Some days I wake up to people calling me a bitch, telling me I'm delusional, that I'm just an entitled white woman who's just mad I don't get to fetishize Buck and Eddie, that I should just stop being here at all with much more colorful language, that I'm homophobic, that I could never possibly begin to understand the complexities of the bt with my tiny woman brain. Then I will admit I go a bit overboard the negative comments about them. Because I don't believe the relationship is anything groundbreaking but I keep getting hate about it and I am petty. But I answer to a fraction of to the shit I get and I have blocked people because they take things too far while hating on Tommy. A lot of those lately are reporting on the chaos that's been created in the fandom. It's an aspect of the show and I tag as anti because I am not a shipper. And I like getting those because I'm being attacked for not shipping them since April and I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling like I was losing my mind, I like talking to the side of the fandom who are not impressed with him. If, when he goes away from the show, people stop calling me names I will happily never talk about him again. I still make my sets, I write my fics, I make my videos, I write my metas. But I am also someone people like to talk about the relationship because I don't ship it and I won't take that away because we have nice discussions. Will things ever go back to the way they were before this mess? Probably not. But it will cool off on both sides eventually once Tommy isn't around. You can blacklist the anti bucktommy tag. You can blacklist "i really need a tag for asks" that's my ask tags. You can just search on tumblr as whole "otp: you don't need to pretend with me" if you just want to see my buddie stuff and don't want to follow me anymore because apparently I'm the only blog on that tag. You can just follow the 911edit tag, I pop up around there a lot. Who knows what will happen once he's gone, but I have a tagging system and I'm staying on my lane, that's the best I can offer you right now.

[tiredspacedragon]

Thing about me is that I'm a huge softie. I want everybody to get happy endings and be alright in the end. And that's great for fluffy headcanons. But when I actually buckle down and think about my ideas for how things would go post-canon, it's a little rough. Because the point of Marendar is to kill Toa, and to have it show up and be defeated or change sides or what have you before doing any Toa-killing would just be a cop-out (especially after 10+ years of irl buildup). So that means some Toa gotta die. But who?

On that note, here's a potentially gruesome poll. Pick whichever option you think should happen most, and add anyone else you think should bite it in the tags.

Would have added options for surviving, non-zombified Toa from the Red Star, and Nobody <3, but alas, ran out of room. Also, Krakua isn't here because he has to survive to do the whole "lone guardian of an island fortress" thing and send Vakama that Kratana-induced vision he got back in Time Trap. So his survival is guaranteed. Everyone else, not so much.

Some anti-propaganda (reasons they all should die *evil laugh*) below the cut:

Toa Nuva: Would there be a bigger gutpunch than this? The flagship characters, the six heroes with one destiny! But that destiny is complete now, they don't need to be kept alive anymore. Imagine how much it would shake things up to take them off the board, how ruined the survivors would be if only a few of them went down. Wouldn't it just be so juicy?

Toa Mahri: They're one down already, so it's not like you'd be breaking up a complete set. Besides, we all know they're built for tragedy at this point. Jaller and Hahli could fall together. Hewkii could go down in front of Macku's eyes. Nuparu could sacrifice himself using one last invention to stop Marendar, perhaps making up for the perceived sins of the Vahki and Boxor. Kongu could accept death as it takes him, at least now he might see Matoro again.

Toa Hagah: These six are prime candidates, aren't they? Important enough for it to hurt, for us to care, but not so important that they aren't expendable. Never truly frontrunners. Named characters it's safe to kill. What more could you ask for? I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out Greg had planned to kill them so he'd never have to describe Gaaki, Bomonga, Pouks, and Kualus' appearances. Plus, Norik dying just after getting to see Varian again? Or even just before? Doesn't it hurt so good?

Takanuva: He only needs to live long enough to end the civil war between the Great Beings, but after that, if Marendar is still in play, he's fair game. What do you say? It would torture him more to see his friends fall while he lived on, but there is something poetic to "Takanuva, the first and greatest Toa of Light, whose life burned brightly, but quickly."

Yesterday Questers: These three are like the Toa Hagah, but even safer. Named characters, important enough for their deaths to matter, but brand new, without much audience investment. Besides, they're asking for it, aren't they? Ancient Orde, the chip on his shoulder as old as he is, could finally know peace in oblivion. Perhaps Zaria's death would finally clear his guilty conscience. And Chiara... Does anyone actually like Chiara? Would anyone miss her? Are these questions she asks herself? And wouldn't it hurt to hear her ask them in her final moments?

Varian: Talk about tragedy. Thousands of years, locked in a tube, dead to the world. Unaware time is even passing. And when she finally awakes, it's only to die. A waste of her character, perhaps, but if you don't mind fridging, it would piss off Norik somethin' fierce.

Tuyet: Doesn't she deserve it? And you know, Marendar does track Toa Power, and there's no greater source of that than Tuyet and the Nui Stone. It would be gunning for her. And it would be so deliciously ironic. All that power, all the effort she put in to get it, and it would be utterly useless to save her in the end. Her dreams of empire ground to dust in seconds, right before her eyes, as Toa Tuyet dies one last time.

Helryx: Think of the poetry. Marendar, the Toa's bane. What more worthy opponent could there be for the first Toa's last stand? It practically writes itself. Helryx has done her duty. The will of Mata Nui has been carried out. This is her perfect chance to go down fighting on her own terms, not as the leader of the Order, but as a Toa once more.

Lesovikk: This guy is Orde and Zaria but worse. He wants death so bad. And what else is there left for him to do? Karzahni is dead. His Matoran are found. What, will he become a Turaga and gift his power to the next generation of Toa? Will he wander the woods and care for the animals? Will he find joy and beauty in living? Lame. He misses his team so bad? Let him join them.

20-odd nameless mooks: By far the safest option. A Toa-killer would be pretty pointless if it never killed any Toa, but nobody said it had to be anyone we cared about, right? This is the best of both worlds. A pile of bodies to make Marendar a credible threat, but nothing and no one of consequence lost. A perfect solution, right? Just uh. Hope you don't have any OCs in here.

Mutants: The Dark Hunters are scattered, vulnerable. If these lost souls haven't found the greater group yet, they'd be easy to pick off. Good options too, right? Actual characters, so their deaths have some weight, but not major ones, so they won't be missed. Guardian was killed off in Reign of Shadows for those exact reasons. Why not have Savage, Spinner, and Prototype carry on the tradition, and tie off some loose ends in the process?

Shadow Takanuva: Sure, it might suck for their home universes to lose their Takanuva like this, but hey. If you have a whole army just sitting around, might as well put them to use, right? The fight could be interesting to watch too. Shadow might be the only element Marendar has no countermeasures for, since Toa of Shadow were never meant to exist. Maybe this is how it's finally beaten, after taking several alternate Takanuva down with it, of course. Besides, Melding Teridax flattened several of them already, so it's not like they were all making it home to begin with.

[futuremrsdrcullen]

This Love Came Back To Me - Preface

Here it is! Almost!! This is the Preface to the Eclipse Reader insert fic that I again, have been promising for far far too long. The rest of the chapters will be up, hopefully soon.

Summery- I was completely overwhelmed with this looming dread. This wasn’t just about Bella anymore. Though that was bad enough, this involved me now. Despite how often Edward disregarded my safety and despite how desperately Carlisle tried to protect me from this;

My life was in danger.

It was never going to end was it?

Word Count- 3207

Warning- Uhhh this is just the preface. There really aren't any warnings yet. But I'll let you know.

Notes from me- My name is Claire and September 3rd is my birthday! I wanted very much to post, at the very least this part today. SO! I finished writing the whole book. I still have a lot of typing and editing to do but I do have a very close date set. This is only the Preface. I can't wait for you guys to see the rest.

This is the 3rd book of probably 5, So follow for updates.

As always, I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Masterlist <3

I love you <3 Thank you for still being here <3

When Carlisle surprised me with a trip to Ireland, I didn’t know what to expect exactly. I got to his house on a clear afternoon and he wasn’t in his usual spot by the door to greet me. In his place were four fully packed suitcases.

“Carlisle?” I didn’t have to yell, I knew he heard me, and yet, no answer came. I moved to study the suitcases. I read his name and address on one tag and my name and his address on the other. In the front pocket were our passports, though I couldn’t recall ever getting a passport made. With a soft laugh, I asked just loud enough that I knew he could hear me, “Carlisle, what is all of this?”

And then his arms were around my waist. I felt his cool breath on the crook of my neck, and could hear the smile in his voice as he whispered “You said you want to see the world. I promised I would show you.” He placed delicate kisses to my pulse point as I looked inside the passport. 

All of the information was mine, the photo was from my ID photo. Even knowing that this wasn’t made entirely legally, I still turned to him and couldn’t help but smile when I saw the grin on his own lips. His hands turned with me and rested on my hips.

“I didn’t mean we had to go right now. How…? How did you do all of this?”

His smile didn’t falter, “Do you really want to know?”

“No…, But-”

He laughed. “Alice packed the bags. I… handled the rest of it.”

“I won’t ask you to elaborate. My dad is the sheriff, so it's probably better that I don’t know about the broken laws.” I draped my arms over his shoulders and ran my fingers through his hair. “Where are we going?”

He grinned again. I would do absolutely anything he wanted when he smiled at me like that. “I haven’t paid for anything, yet, but I was thinking we could go to Ireland. I’ve got some friends there I haven’t seen in a while. I would love to introduce you, but-”

“They wouldn't approve.” It came out so casually. I knew very well that there were few vampires who abstained from human blood the way his family managed, and even fewer who kept in human company. I was hardly fazed. 

He nodded, “They’d make an attempt, but they do not have the same level of control… even if it wasn't on purpose…” And then he let the conversation drift back to just Ireland, clearly less casual about his friends eating me than I was. “There are beautiful castle hotels that we can stay in with gorgeous views… and I thought, it might be nice to get away for a week. Just the two of us.”n

I had to admit it did sound very enticing. Not to mention how persuasive the way he kissed my neck up to my jawline up to my lips was.

 The trip was perfect. We spent so much time doing completely average tourist things, but we also found time for the ‘not-so-average’ tourist things; just a lot of alone time together. Some things, you only get to do because your boyfriend is a 300 something year old vampire. 

The idea of the experiment was brought to my attention a few days into our trip. Here, since there wouldn’t be any other trace of me to cause distraction, we could test Edwards theory that I couldn’t be tracked. This was cause for much debate in the Cullen house because they knew me and they knew how to look for me. Carlisle believed that he could track me solely based on scent. He believed he wouldn’t lose control and eat me in the process.

Which is precisely how I ended up hidden deep inside a ‘small’ patch of Irish woods. I wasn’t exactly lost, I walked for roughly an hour in one direction hoping to lose the vampire, but not the way back. I kissed Carlisle goodbye two hours before he would set out to find me. I ran out of energy pretty early and then hiked for a bit more. 

The woods here weren’t unlike the woods at home. I could navigate them well enough but it was still exhausting to hike through them with little to no paths. Eventually I gave up and found a fallen tree to sit on. I figured since I was out here anyway, I might as well get some writing done.

With the return of the Cullens, my poems became less edgy and existential and flowed into something more peaceful and beautiful. It became the poetry of someone who was content with their life and was excited to see what came next. 

However, it was incredibly hard to focus with the knowledge of just how alone I really was. Instead of putting pen to paper I let myself become absorbed in the woods around me. The wind in the trees, the chirping of birds, it all kept my focus. While I could recognize the anxiety I felt, it was also very serene here. Maybe I could just push the panic aside knowing that any second, he would be with me again.

Then the woods around me seemed to still and I smiled at the open page before me and wrote the first six words that filled my head.

“The silent comfort of being found”

I wasn’t scared. I didn’t hear him at all, but he didn’t frighten me as his arms wrapped around my waist. But to be fair, I had been expecting him. I felt his lips grace my neck and the sound I made only encouraged him to kiss me more.

“I found you, Dove.” He whispered in my ear.

“I knew you would.” I hadn’t intended to sound so light but he made me feel like I could float away. I leaned back into him, relying more on him than the log. He didn't budge.

“I think Edward might have the right idea though,” He said in between kisses. The confusion in his voice almost made me turn to look at him but I didn’t want to interrupt the attention. “I couldn’t track you on scent alone. I knew I’d find you, but… at times it was like you’d never been there at all. But I felt pulled to you all the same.”

I couldn’t help the way I melted into him, I turned just enough to rest my forehead on his chest; he continued to kiss my neck and only pulled back to look me in the eyes. “I think I’d be able to find you wherever you went, though I would be interested to see if Edward could track you.” 

I felt a soft chill up my spine at the idea. “You wouldn’t let him.” I pointed out.

“No, I wouldn’t.” He kissed my cheek and pushed my hair out of my face. None of his family had the control he had. If any other vampire tracked me out here, I wouldn’t make it home. 

When I looked into his eyes, they were still bright and golden. There wasn’t even the smallest trace of instability.

I just wanted to kiss him and forget about everything for a while. Life was chaotic and he made me feel grounded- even when I was ‘lost’ in a foreign forest. He sighed and rested his forehead on mine. “It’s getting late… I should get you back to the room.”

“Are you going out tonight?” I would never try to stop him from seeing his friends. Of course I wanted him to see his friends, I just didn’t love the idea of being alone. It would only be a few hours. I could handle it. I had a feeling he knew how I felt anyway and that’s why he hadn’t gone yet. I wasn’t about to make it worse.

“I might.” He placed a delicate kiss to my nose, I giggled. “Siobhan might come looking for me if I don’t visit soon, since she knows I’m here. I can stay with you until you fall asleep, you won’t even know I’m gone.”

I doubted that, but I played it off. “I can handle that.” I kissed him quickly to reassure him. “Carry me?”

“Of course, Cara.” I grinned at him and put my notebook back in my bag. As soon as I was ready, and without saying a word, Carlisle lifted me with ease into his arms. He carried me out of the woods so much faster than it took me to get in there, I almost thought I hadn’t gotten that far.

He slowed and we broke through the treeline at the back of the hotel. There were a few couples and families sitting in the yard enjoying picnics and watching the stars.

I had to hold back my laughter as he set me down. I whispered so that only he could hear me, “That couple totally thinks we just had sex back there…”

He laughed, placed a kiss to my hair, and threw his arm over my shoulder. In response, he whispered. “I am far too much of a gentleman to just take you against the first flat surface in the middle of a forest.” As he walked, he grinned and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He leaned in and breathed, “I will not be able to say the same, once we are back in the room.”

I shivered at his words. I’m sure the blush that heated my face confirmed what they were thinking, even though it wasn’t actually true. I hid my face in his shoulder as we walked. 

When we got on the elevator he kissed me like he fully intended to keep to his word. I hardly noticed when it opened on our floor. Luckily he did, and even more luckily, there wasn’t anyone waiting to use the elevator.

He walked backwards and led me towards our room. He swept me off my feet again before we even reached the door. Once we were inside, and the door was firmly shut and locked behind us, he sat me on the first available table and made me forget my own name.

We lost a few hours. We took a shower and he made me food as I sat on the counter watching him cook. He let me fall asleep on his chest as he read War and Peace . I didn’t notice when he kissed my forehead, or told me he loved me. I didn’t notice when he left or when he came back. 

~~

I don’t think I could get used to the peace I felt there. Carlisle drove me to a beach on a very cloudy day, as the sun was setting. The water was cold but I stood in the ocean and let the waves crash around my feet. I let him spin me around as we danced to the sound of it all. I let myself get lost in all the love I felt for him.

I twirled out as far as our joined arms could stretch and he spun me back in. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He kissed my ear.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered and I probably wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t right by my ear. He leaned back and cupped my cheek with his hand. I almost didn’t notice the coolness anymore. 

He studied my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone. He looked into my eyes like he was trying to memorize their color. He spoke again, though I could hardly make it out. “So beautiful.”

I leaned up and kissed him and he met me halfway. His hand moved from my cheek to lift my chin. When we eventually broke apart I smiled up at him.

“You know I love you, right?” I asked.

He laughed at me, “I would certainly hope so.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead before adding, “I love you, Y/n.”

It took a lot of sweet talking to convince me to get out of the ocean and to go back to the room. 

~~ 

Despite how much I really did not want to, we had to fly home eventually, rushed only slightly by a frantic call from Alice. Apparently, Victoria would be passing through Forks and Alice thought they’d have a pretty good chance of catching her this time. However, they weren’t going to tell Bella, and she demanded that Edward go to Jacksonville with her. With Edward out, our family was now, not only down in numbers, but also down one mind reader who could hear her before the rest of them could, so Alice was frantic. 

Of course they could still rely on Alice's visions, but with the wolves hunting too, things could get missed. I wondered if it would be safer if we just told Bella what was going on. I wanted to tell her what was going on, but I knew she would probably use herself as bait if she knew. 

If she knew though, we could convince her to take Dad to Jacksonville and Edward could stay and fight with the rest of his family. I think we’d still fly home though. I would never ask Carlisle to not stand with his family, and he wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them to defend themselves. I hoped it wouldn’t come to a fight anyway.

Victoria was alone, and revenge hungry. Maybe they could take her out quickly, and then it would all be over.

We caught a flight out of Ireland at nearly 1 in the morning, after Alice called. We made it through security and to our gate with 30 minutes to spare. I was ridiculously tired, given the time. I knew I had to at least board the plane before I passed out. Which I found increasingly harder the longer I sat with my head on his shoulder.

“Y/n?” His voice was soft and he elongated each letter of my name.

“Hmm?” I didn’t have the energy to really answer, but I did lift my head to look at his face.

His gaze met mine and he wore a delicate smile. “Where would you like to travel next?”

Confused by his spontaneous question, I asked, “You want to start planning our next vacation before we’re even home?” He laughed and shrugged.

“Seemed as good a time as any. If only to help you stay awake.” I yawn on cue, as if to prove his point.

“Okay, okay!” I couldn’t help but laugh with him. I took a second to think about it before sighing. “Part of me wants to fly off somewhere warm and secluded, but another part of me thinks that… maybe we should stay home for a bit.” I could see the confusion flash across his features, “I just mean- Dads been getting on to me about getting back to a ‘normal’ life” I put air quotes around the words.

I continued, “Maybe, if I get a job, he'll settle a bit. And- related but kind of a side note- Bella is going to graduate soon and then…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the thought.

His face softened, “I understand, Cara.” 

“I want to travel more with you. Once some of the dust settles.” I put emphasis behind my words and lifted my hand to caress his cheek. He placed a kiss against my palm.

“That sounds like a good plan.” I broke eye contact with him to yawn, pulling my hand back to cover it. He chuckled, “You can sleep on the plane. I don’t think they will let me carry you on if you’re unconscious.”

I sighed dramatically, “But this flight is only an hour and a half. It’s hardly worth it. Then we’ll be in London for 3 hours before we get on another plane.”

He raised an eyebrow while listening to my reasoning, “You can sleep on that one too, you know.”

“ Oooor I could stay up for the first flight, spend extra time talking to you, then sleep for all of the second flight.” I matched his expression, a huge smile shining through the exhaustion on my face.

He didn’t seem convinced, “Can you stay up for nearly five more hours?”

“Is that a challenge?”

“No-” 

“Because I accept!” We didn’t stop laughing even as he kissed me and when we boarded the plane I ordered a hot coffee. I looked him in the eyes as I took the first sip, sending us both into another fit of giggles. We were still laughing as the plane took off.

I stayed awake during the first flight just fine. I drank two cups of coffee and I had to keep talking. Though Carlisle didn’t seem to mind. I spent most of my time trying to convince him that Howl’s Moving Castle was a better book than War and Peace . He, of course, respectfully disagreed, but said he would give Howl’s Moving Castle a chance. I celebrated the win for at least getting that. I wasn’t all that serious anyway, but the debate kept me awake.

Now, getting off the plane proved significantly harder than expected. I could hardly drag myself through the airport. I could already feel the jetlag pulling me down and we hadn’t even changed time zones yet. We stopped at a shop and I got a soda, hoping to only stay awake long enough to get on the next flight. I kissed him every chance I got, mostly to keep myself busy; but also, it was quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do.

Kissing Carlisle Cullen in a busy airport was definitely up there with: kissing him in the rain, or in the woods of Ireland, or on the cliff by his house. All I wanted to do was kiss him. He was always more than happy to oblige.

When we were finally on our flight home, I rested my head on his shoulder and pulled the travel blanket over us. He squeezed my hand.

“What’s the plan?” I asked, my voice heavy with exhaustion. 

“We get you home,” He kissed my head for emphasis. “Then this weekend, Edward will keep Bella safe in Jacksonville. The others have arranged a party of sorts on the reservation- some kind of sporting event. Which should keep your father busy… and we think it would be best if you stayed down there as well, despite how much I wish I could keep you with me.”

I yawned and he chuckled into my hair. “Sounds like a very safe plan.”

“We’ve all worked very hard to make sure it is. I’ll spend forever ensuring your safety.” I would have kissed him if I had the energy to lift my head. 

“At least until I’m like you…” I could feel the sleep washing over me. I allowed my eyes to close. He kissed my hair again and rested his chin on my head.

“Probably even then.” I felt it, more than I heard it, as I finally drifted off to sleep.

Taglist!

@jakanddexter67 @a-not-so-poetic-poet @bridge597 @cestlavie03 @gaymazinglula @short-potato @jennyamanda8 @daisydreamingsims @arg888cam

[rxttenfish]

Hi hello I just wanted to say that I really really like your worldbuilding and art and merfolk and things like that. Where can I read more things you’ve written?

thank you!!!

realistically the majority of my writing is on my main blog, @royalreef, but this is not really ideal for reading, tbh. first of all, because royalreef is a roleplay blog, so what's on there is not only more unpolished and less put-together, but also what's on there is semi-dependent on other roleplay blogs interacting with me (i'm in a dry spell lately, so very little is actually being posted). it also pretty solidly shows my development cycle, so if you go too far back you start seeing things that aren't necessarily accurate anymore or which i've changed over time. most of it is a lot of scrolling and digging through stuff, and while i recommend finding my headcanon tag on there, it's still going to be a lot to dig through.

the much more favorable avenues are by using the #all the care guide says is 'biomass', #miravi.txt, #monster prom, #Monster Prom: Reanimated and #art tags on this blog, but not only is less here, but some of these tags are more or less organized than the others. biomass is my all-purposes posting tag, so you'll see a lot of random conversations too, and my miravi tag is solely focused on the ship, with worldbuilding being included but not the whole focus. in the case of monster prom: reanimated, its a defunct tag that i don't use anymore, but still has enough worldbuilding posts on there for me to point out.

the most focused avenue is my AO3, particularly my newest fic Caecilian, which focuses on the merkingdom and merfolk and that worldbuilding! the problem is that, by far, this has the least content of all methods thus far, and while i'm working on the second chapter as we speak, it's still going to be a wait between chapters (they're pretty long, as you can imagine from the subject!)

i have been considering setting up a patreon for more inclusive worldbuilding posts and being able to share sketches and concepts without worrying about them being polished, but as of posting this, i don't have a patreon up yet. it's in the future plans, but not right now!

and, of course, the easiest method is just sending me an ask of any questions you have! there's certain things i can't answer/won't answer publicly, because i'd like some things to remain a mystery until i can properly reveal them, but if you dm me privately and don't mind spoilers, i have no problem talking about them there!

[sainz100]

Hello!! Here's a little guide on how I browse Insta for F1 moments!! ❤️🏎️✨ there are probably much better/more efficient methods out there, but here is my usual way I tap at my phone during GP weekends:

📸 via hammertimemagazine!

1. I usually start with the GP's location!! Location tags are the main way I browse for content on insta.

tbh, I'm not sure if insta lets you see other users' tags in stories? like at the moment, I can't see who tags @ danielricciardo for example (but there maybe is a way!! and what I do is overly convoluted hehe) However, you can see location tags!

First, I'll go to the GP's or the circuit's account like the Vegas GP below

2. Location tags can have specific and various wordings, so I find it easiest to go to a post and click on a location tag from there (there are so many location tags!! for example, the tagged photos for the Las Vegas GP also have locations like "Sphere" or "Las Vegas Strip" but these are less F1-focused, so I usually don't go for broader tags or just the city at-large unless the F1-related tags run dry. More on that later!)

so here in the post below, I'll click F1 Las Vegas

3. After clicking on a location, it should take you to a map like this!

I will note too, I'm on an iPhone and someone once said they couldn't see this map on Android T_T but uncertain what the issue was and this was a while ago!

4. If there's a colorful circle, there are stories to see!! 💖✨ Now I click away.

As stories pop up, I take a look at where they're posting from, like if they're in the paddock, sponsor areas, with the media, or a cool spot on track. If they are, that means their other stories may have some cool stuff, too! If something seems promising, I'll click on their account name at the top.

5. Once in the account you can view all their stories. Since we know they're at the GP, they may have other nifty moments!

6. And they do!! This is how I find content that's not in the location tag.

7. If it's one of the blorbs and it feels gucci to share, I'll save it and do a bit of editing real quick if its over-exposed/kinda blurry/etc. and then post it on here!!

8. Now I'll go back to the location tag and repeat! After clicking through all the stories in that batch (since insta loads like 20 max at a time) you can go back off the map, re-tap the location name, and the circle will re-fill with new stories. When there aren't anymore to see, the circle will be grey.

9. You can also x out of the location to main map. This will show more of the location tags in the area. I do this sometimes to see more locations I wouldn't have thought of!! Sometimes there are other tags people use and they can have cool stuff!

once through with the 20 or so stories that insta loads into the batch, you can wiggle around the map to reload it and get a new batch.

😵‍💫 as a quick note, this method (while fun to see the world!) leads to seeing a lot of unrelated-to-F1 content so it can be a bit of a time-suck

10. The last step is being extra, extra nosy and checking stories from GP-related accounts. News outlets, sponsors, musicians performing there, influencers, influencer management agencies, F1 Experiences, etc. Often brands will have country-specific accounts like redbullmexico or redbullhu which follows athletes/celebs who might be at the GP, so I'll look at their following list and click through stories.

Certain reporters often post wonderful photos! There are also of course professional photographers there!! (and it feels extra extra important to always source pro photographers' work!! It's a hard field!! And I am a mere content yoinker.)

Because I love to make life hard, I don't follow anyone on Insta and I usually keep to browsing only GPs/sporting events. I used to keep up with a musician where I kinda learned these insta ropes, and I spent a bit too much time on the web. I need to put some artificial barriers to make it tougher for myself on purpose so I go touch grass every now and then and enjoy other hobbies 🌿✨

and that's it!! ❤️ I finally understand the appeal of fishing. Sometimes you find something small, sometimes something big! You never know! I kinda like the challenge and it's a bit joyfully mindless after work, so it feels fun to teleport around through the magic of the web to see a GP.

☝️😎 Quick notes I feel I should add: folks can see if you view their stories. I use my fan account instead of my irl name account.

Also, I always handle this content thoughtfully. These are often folks' memories from race weekend they're sharing! I feel thankful to see it!! So I try to ask myself if it feels in good-taste and appropriate to re-post before sharing on tumblr dot com of course. And I'm only interested in publicly available content, but I give it a vibe check before posting ✨ and I like to source content (unless its after a GP and the stories are gone and its just a random potato gif I made!!) I usually sit on little gifs through a weekend to make a bigger set after its over.

anyways I felt like mentioning these things since I often get lost in the content sauce and like to be sure I'm sharing stuff responsibly!!

AHHH this got long!! 💞 while fun, insta diving can take some time. On a week like this, when work gets bananas, I don't have as much time to surf, and I'm so immensely thankful to other cool folks posting and sharing what they find!! 💝✨ thank you!!

if you have any questions, my ask box always is open!! thank you for reading and happy searching!! 💞🔍✨