#also my piercing be bleeding like YIKES
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calpicowater · 4 years ago
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Week 45/53: November 2nd - November 8th 2020 | New Piercings !! 
Bb gave me another book!!! WOWOWOW. This time is a list of 50 reasons why she’s grateful for me ;_; she wrote it all in like less than an hour and she said she wanted to give it to me as soon as possible because I’ve been sad lately T_T IM LOVE YOU!!!! I love these books so much!!! THANK U BEBE <3
I went to T&T to buy hair dye again lmao this time I tried the Hello Bubble in Vanilla Gold and it lightened my hair up by a lot more. Maybe because I used 2 boxes this time. I still want the ends to be lighter because my roots are still lighter than the rest of my hair LMAO so I’m not sure what to do??? HJKSHKJSFS I feel like my hair is never going to be light enough for me unless I go out and bleach it ;-( maybe soon LOLS. I made an appointment to get industrial piercing this week but when I got there they told my that because I wear glasses, the stems (???) of my glasses would hit the piercing while it is trying to heal so unless I wear lenses for the next 6 months it’s not going to be possible T_T ;; so I just decided to change into a regular helix and then a second lobe LOL. I was supposed to get a third lobe too because I thought that it would be too imbalanced :-\ but now I regret it LMAO I should have just gotten the third lobe!!! >: ( ANYWAYS it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Totally tolerable. Also the needle pain is highkey addicting?????? When my piercer was done he was like “omg~ it’s so cute” HAHAHAHAHA LMFAO and it was! I’m really happy with them LOL I want more already but need to let these heal first~ :’( 
I had two interviews on Friday lol they both went relatively well minus the part where I had a six hour gap...... so I just went to eat 热干面 (been wanting to try the place at President Plaza and my interview place was right beside it so I just went finally...... the noodles were okay lol not as good as the ones in China but nothing ever is LMAO), buy some qtips/hair ties/powder/agift4somecatctussbday, and went home and napped for an hour just to leave my house again for my second interview LOLS..... it sucks here. I went to see bb after my second interview and she gave me long bread (!!!) again!!!!!! SO YUM I STAN :P THANK UUUUUU MY LOVE <3 
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hyena-frog · 4 years ago
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Makes me so sad to think about how Cassius raised Lysander for 10 YEARS and came to love him like a brother and likely put a ton of effort into being a decent role model only for Lysander to turn around and become exactly like Octavia..... like can you imagine what must be going through Cassius’ head when he flies over Lysander at the end of DA.. :( seeing the kid he raised to adulthood become a monster.. I just... ugh. It tears me up inside
Hoo boy, I hope you’re prepared for the essay I’m about to write.
Genuinely, I think about this all the time. Cassius and Lysander have one of the most complex, tragic relationships the second trilogy has to offer. I hated Cassius so much after Golden Son but now he’s one of my favorite characters. I would really love it if he is the new POV Pierce Brown promised. In the second trilogy, Cassius has been exclusively filtered through Lysander’s POV, so I’m dying to know his own thoughts on everything that has happened. (But I would also like a Volga POV for the Obsidian story and maybe Diomedes POV for the Rim perspective. I’m torn.) I just want Cassius to have a happy ending. And I hate Lysander, but I would really like for him to see eye to eye with Cassius at least once before he is horribly, painfully, rightfully murdered.
Now, the thing is, Cassius didn’t come to love Lysander as a brother over time, he already loved him when he decided to become his guardian and mentor. It bugged me that, at the end of Morning Star, it didn’t feel like Cassius’ decision to take in Lysander was justified enough. All we really got out of him was that Lysander reminded him of Julian. Pretty flimsy. Then Iron Gold came along and blessed us with a flashback to when they first met. Little Lysander wasn’t too impressed with Cassius (he wasn’t exactly as respectable post Red Rising as he is now) but Cassius quickly went from calling Lysander an “eerie little creature” to declaring “I’ve decided to like you, little moon boy.” From that moment, Cassius truly cared for Lysander. Reading that flashback again after Dark Age makes me so emotional.
Lysander has this complex about being Julian’s replacement, that Cassius doesn’t love him so much as he loves the shadow of Julian he sees in him. And he’s justified, in a way, because Cassius does slip up and call him Julian sometimes, but it’s usually when he’s delirious from pain and not thinking clearly. Lysander completely misses the fact that Cassius does love him. I guess he doesn’t have much experience recognizing when he’s genuinely cared for, because why would he, but there is plenty of evidence of Cassius’ true feelings.
For example, Cassius sold most of his remaining family possessions to keep them afloat on the Archimedes. Now, Cassius isn’t strapped for cash by any means but the fact he cares for Lysander (and Pytha) enough to sell many of the last reminders of his dead family that he owns, is very telling. But Lysander doesn’t think about that. He acknowledges that it happened but doesn’t consider the deeper, emotional meaning behind that action.
Another example is Cassius opening up to Lysander about the last time he ever saw his father. How he disappointed Tiberius but finally regained his respect, only for the entire Bellona family to be slaughtered shortly after that reconciliation. That was a sign that he loves and trusts Lysander enough to be vulnerable with him. He never told that story to anyone else, as far as we know. He believed he was going to die in the Bleeding Place and wanted that memory of his father to live on in Lysander. The fact that Lysander is blind to how Cassius genuinely loves him, even now, is tragic.
You’re right, Cassius did try to be a good role model and pass on good morals. I think the scene in Dark Age, where Pytha confesses that Cassius forbade her from revealing to Lysander that she is actually a soldier and not a disgraced commercial pilot, as he was lead to believe, was very telling. Cassius attempted to show Lysander life outside of politics and war. He tried to show him that all Colors are equals deserving of respect. Cassius was devastated when Lysander chose to save Seraphina over the many mid- and low-color prisoners on the Vindabona. He was horrified that Lysander chose “quality” of life saved over quantity. This coming from Cassius, who compared Pinks to animals in Red Rising. Cassius has learned and changed a lot since the first book and he tried to pass those lessons onto Lysander. But it didn’t stick. Not even after 10 years of teaching.
Unfortunately, his teachings were tainted by his bad coping mechanisms for his personal demons. His alcoholism, his continued pining for Virginia, combined with his betrayal of Octavia and involvement in Aja's brutal murder, gave Lysander enough excuses to never fully embrace his lessons. While Lysander did love Cassius, there was always some flaw or another in his teacher that allowed him to comfortably distance himself from the lessons that diverged from Octavia’s teachings. To be honest, Cassius had no business taking on a ward while he was so torn up inside. Keeping Lysander isolated in a tin can in the middle of space for 10 years, instead of living among diverse people, didn’t do him any favors either. Frankly, Cassius missed a lot of red flags. A big one is the fact Lysander carved Lux ex tenebris, the Lune family motto, into the ceiling of his room on the Archimedes, where he could stare up at it every night. Yikes.
This dissonance in Lysander’s thinking is what lead to his betrayal in the Bleeding Place. Yes, Lysander loves Cassius and wanted to save his life rather than see him die at the hands of people who don’t respect him. But he also genuinely believes in the inherent hierarchy of Octavia’s teachings, that the “true order” is for Cassius to follow him. If Cassius lives, if he can convince him that his rightful place is to follow Lysander, things can finally be right in the worlds. Cassius failed to express his feelings in a way Lysander can comprehend, so he felt he was just a replacement for Julian. Lysander can dismiss Cassius’ love as love for his dead twin, and in turn, he can dismiss his claim to believe in the inherent equality of humankind as guilt and justification for killing his Sovereign. Cassius was unable to truly see how badly he failed until he was betrayed.
Since Cassius was absent for most of the plot following his “death” it’s difficult to concretely say what he’s been thinking since then. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him, so here is my conjecture. Take it with a grain of salt.
That moment you mention, when Cassius flies overhead, he deliberately retracted his helmet for a brief moment of eye contact with Lysander, so he would know exactly who rescued Darrow... Shivers. So much left unsaid. I imagine Cassius was thinking a lot of things in that moment. On the one hand, some pettiness and anger at being betrayed: “I lived bitch, I rescued Darrow, this is where my loyalties lie.” But there was also probably a mixture of shock and guilt at knowing what Lysander has done, at who he’s sided with and enabled, but also at seeing evidence of physical suffering in Lysander's burn scar and blind eye. Cassius loved Lysander, he was his guardian for 10 years, so he would hate to see him hurt. I think he would feel responsible for Lysander’s actions on some level, even if he logically understands that he’s an adult who makes his own choices.
Regardless, Cassius probably blames himself on some level. That’s what I think anyway. He tried his best to teach this kid good morals for an entire decade only for him to cling to the ideals his grandmother taught him. That has to sting. It’s probably also embarrassing, to a degree. Cassius made this grand promise to Darrow that he’d raise Lysander right, that Sevro was wrong to suggest they should have just killed him when he was little. Now Cassius’ failure to make good on that promise has been advertised to the whole Solar System through Lysander’s actions on Mercury. Surely Cassius feels responsible.
Cassius had a lot of time to think during his long return trip to the Core. About what happened with Lysander in the Rim, about his lingering feelings for Virginia, about his place in the Republic, and about what he really considers the right thing to do. Cassius can be intensely empathetic when he allows himself to be. For example, in Morning Star, he managed to really sympathize with Darrow’s life when they were drinking whiskey together. I’m willing to bet he spent that long return journey considering Lysander’s perspective with a clear head, after spending so many years lost in the haze of his own sorrows. Now that he is out of that bad mental place, he is likely able to see where he made mistakes in how he raised Lysander.
It will make for an interesting confrontation between Cassius and Darrow, who is thoroughly, understandably, done with Lysander, when the time comes to kill him. Cassius knows the danger Lysander poses and probably won’t argue against killing him this time, but I do think he would resist a little and at least try to find an alternative solution.
Lastly, I just want to say this, since it’s sort of relevant: This fandom tends to agree that Sevro should have just killed Lysander as a child, but if I’m being honest, I don’t agree. Kill Lysander now, as an adult, by all means, but as a kid he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, even if he was a little creepy. Darrow was right to give him the chance to live in peace. Too bad he ultimately didn’t take it. I especially don’t think Cassius would agree killing Lysander as a kid was the right choice, even now. He is traumatized by the sudden loss of most of his family, including little kids, so I don’t think he’d ever agree to killing a child. If he could somehow go back in time, knowing what he knows now, I think he would make the same choice to raise Lysander. In that scenario, I think he would rather try to fix the mistakes he made as a mentor, rather than punish Lysander.
Guh. Anyway. I had a lot of words in me about this subject. Hope you got something out of it! I’m consistently amazed by how Pierce Brown’s writing compels me to think deeply about these characters. Not to mention his ability to make me understand Lysander’s perspective even if I don’t like it or agree with it. Cassius’ perspective though... well, half of this post is just me guessing, so we’ll have to see how close I am to canon when book 6 comes out. Thanks for reading!
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brisugu · 3 years ago
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Carapherneila(Gojo x Y/N x Geto)
Series masterlist.
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Summary: When Y/N reminiscence of the past but also regrets what she could’ve done to make him stay.
Title: No ordinary Life
Warnings: None
REPORT: APRIL 2005
IN THE CENTER OF SENDAI CITY, AT JAPAN'S FOSTER CENTER FOR YOUNG ADOLESCENTS. REPORTS OF A CURSE SPIRIT INSIDE THE BUILDING. MANY CHILDREN AND STAFF MISSING
MISSION: TO RECOVER THOSE WHO ARE TRAPPED INSIDE AND TREAT THOSE WHO ARE INJURED
You led out a groan the moment you woke up. You found yourself hanging upside down and your arms dangling in each of your sides. You carefully lifted your chin up to see that the monster still holds you and everyone else captive but, it looked as though it's asleep.
How long was I like this for?
You slightly tilted your head. You saw that everyone else is in the same position as you: upside down, unable to move, and their arms dangling on each of their sides. No one seemed to be waking up, and you were probably the only person who was.
"Are they dead? Am I dead?" You continued to ask yourself this question over and over again or well over a minute until you felt your eyelids feeling heavy. "No!" You tried to force your eyes to stay open." I need to stay awake. I need to--" You're drifting out of consciousness. You wanted to rest your eyes. Maybe this is karma for causing pain to everyone, maybe this was your doing, and karma got to you, maybe you really are a dark omen. And so you closed your eyes.
"Urgh, what a mess. Is that blood on the floor?''
"Satoru, shut up. We didn't come here to criticize."
"Guys, you might want to take a look at this."
You heard multiple footsteps approaching your way as they suddenly stop in front of you.
"Isn't this the girl who we saw two days ago?" You recognize the voice. It was one of those boys who you saw. Was it Suguru his name?
Wait, did he just said 'two days ago.' How long was I out for?
"Yea, it is." said the girl whose name might be Shoko.
"Shoko, go check if everyone else might be alive." You heard footsteps leaving from your area and going behind you.
"What type of curse is it, Satoru?"
"Grade Two or maybe semi-grade one. It's not awake right now, or else none of them would be alive."
"Yea," you could feel someone staring down at you, almost reading you. "Shit, she is bleeding on her hand. Shoko, come here and heal her, then we exorcise this curse."
"Hold on." the girl replied. "I need to check if everyone else is alive so far; They're barely even alive its a miracle hanging upside down for over 24 hours. I'm surprised they're not dead yet. Check to see if she is alive. If not, there is nothing I can do."
"Yea," he breathed out, and you felt two fingers against your neck.
You gasped, and your eyes opened to find dark brown eyes staring at you. Out of shock, you punched him straight through his face.
"Oww, fuck." His eyebrows furrowed, and he brought his hand to under his nose. He looked down at his hand, and you saw blood dripping. "I'm trying to help you and you friggin-." he stopped, and you noticed his eyes widen. "Shit, Satrou, the damn thing is waking up."
"What did you say?" You muttered, and you lifted your chin to your chest to see that the  monster  had awoken, and it looked pissed. It screamed; the noise pierced your ears. It felt like Someone jabbed a butter knife through it. You then felt something lifting you higher in the air as your body started to slightly swing. "Get me out of here!" You exclaimed to the boy in front of you.
"Yea, Suguru, get her out of there." You and the other looked at the white-haired boy wearing sunglasses whose arms are crossed against his chest and are leaning against the wall.
"Are you seriously not gonna help?" The boy in front said.
"I would, but my technique won't be good for those around me. Unless-" his head shifted in your direction.  you want me to accidentally kill you and your little friends around here." He finished by revealing a childish grin.
"They're not my friends, asshole."
"They're not? Oh. Yikes, but what can I say? I have a spectacular ass."
You didn't expect both boys to laugh right in front of you. It was embarrassing two grown boys who are immature are supposed to be helping but instead laughing in front of your face like it was some joke.  How lovely.
"Aren't the both of you supposed to-" Your body started to violently swing. The  monster  behind you is getting angry and wants something or someone to eat. "Help me please!"
"Okay, grab my hand." He stretches his arm to you and waits for you. Quickly using your uninjured hand, you grab his hand for him to pull you out.
Then it happened.
Your glowing blue aura showed again. Your pupils dilated, and your grip on his hand tightened. You looked at him and can feel him growing weak. He looked confused, unsure as to what is happening.
He lets go of your hand, and he fell back. "What the hell?" He called out. You could say the same thing. You don't know how it happened or how to control what you did. You look back at your hand and could still feel energy coursing through your body even after he let go of your hand. You look up at him and the other boy. Both of their mouths are wide open, shocked to see what is happening.
"Are you going to help me" None answered."Fine," You snarled. If no one was going to help you, then you would do it yourself. "I'll do it by myself." You lifted your hips to get out of the position that you were in. It felt weird because you felt stronger than before. Did the boy perhaps do this to you? You lifted your left arm and looked straight at the monster who is holding you hostage. "Die!" You exclaimed as you you punched it in the center of its face.
It was crushed by the impact. There was purple goo coming out of it. It shrieked in pain. Then it exploded to dust. You and everyone else who was held hostage dropped to the floor. You were in shock.   You looked at the floor.  Did I just kill that thing? What is going on? Everything is confusing. You have many questions to ask those people.  Who are they? What are they? How did they know that thing was here? Are they the same as me?
You hear footsteps approaching you, and you looked up to see that the white-haired boy was staring down at you. His sunglasses were slightly down, which revealed blue eyes. It was intimidating, and it felt as though they were reading you. He smirked. "Now, this is interesting." He crouched down at you so that he can be the same level as you. He brought his index and middle finger to your forehead and pressed against it. Your eyes fluttered shut as you slumped forward, and he caught you before you went to the ground.
He lifted you up bridal style and turned to the other two he was with."I'm bringing her in. It's time we brought a present to the higher-ups."
______________________________________________
"What is the meaning of this Gojo!"
"What do you think? She is the last remaining member of the clan. I’m just here to bring her in."
"This is ridiculous. They are all dead! Send her back!"
"Shush, she is waking up now," your eyes fluttered open. You look up from the floor that you were laid upon to see the white-haired boy who staring down at you."Oh, you're awake. Sorry for the sudden kidnapping. Just need to bring you in," he smiled and lowered his sunglasses.
"What the hell? Who are you? Where am I."
"Excellent question, you're at-." You lifted your hand to slap him, but something stops you. It was like an invisible barrier that prevented you from making contact with him. Your eyes widened in confusion, and he noticed your expression. "Oh yea, you can't touch me. It practically makes me invincible," he said smugly.
"I don't care. Answer my damn question where am I," you gritted.
"Sheesh, so rude" He stood up and sighed. "You're at jujutsu Tech. I took you in because you possess cursed energy that is common among people like me.
"What do you mean people like-."
"Enough," someone from afar barked. You moved so you can see who was speaking. It was an old man who is bald with a long beard. He has multiple piercings on him. He is wearing a light-colored goatee, and there is a wooden cane in front of him. "This is foolish Gojo; bring her back."
Gojo rolled his eyes and place his hands in his pockets. and turned his back to you. "Calm down, you old man. Just bring the clan's cursed tool, then it will prove that she descended from them."
"I'm sorry for interrupting," you intruded on them. "But who are them?  And why do I have gloves on me?" You lifted your hands, revealing black gloves on them.
"Oh yea, because I think-"
"This is insanity, Gojo." Yelled out a person from behind you. You turned around to see a tall man with short black hair and a mustache goatee. He is also wearing dark sunglasses.
"Ahh, Mr. Yaga, you're here" he takes his hand out of his pockets and brings it together, rubbing it.
"Gojo, she is a window. Even if she is the last remaining of the clan, she would need to possess their inherited technique, which hasn't been seen in over thousands of years. What makes you think she is one of them?"
"Well, first off, she is obviously a girl, and those who were in the clan who had possessed their inherited technique were all women. Secondly, she doesn't know her last name."
"What does that got to do with it?" The person named Yaga asked.
"Well, it's obvious the name of the clan is L/n, right? She doesn't have a surname, so it raises my suspicion she could be descended from the clan. And lastly, she possesses the inherited technique."
"So you're saying she possesses the technique of gravity manipulation?" The man furrowed his eyebrows.
"Yep," he popped the ' p'  as he said this. Yaga sighed and runs his hand down his face.
"Ok, bring out the L/n family cursed tool."
After moments of silence, Gojo clapped his hands together, "Hurry up, gramps, do you want me to walk you there. I know you have dementia."
"You damn brat," The old man snarled. "She better be descended from them." He turned his back to Gojo and walked away with his cane to grab the so-called  L/N cursed tool.
"Where did you find her Gojo," Yaga whispered to him.
"At that foster center in the center of this city, She is the one I told you about, the one who got past the barrier."
"How are you sure?"
"Yea, how are you sure?" You interrupted their conversation. Over the last ten minutes, no one has given you information about where you are or why you are here. It's infuriating.
"Meh, just a hunch, but if I'm wrong, we are going to have to kill you." He beamed.
"What!"
"Gojo" Yaga scolded.
"What, it's so gloomy in here. I'm trying to have fun."
"What part of you kidnapping me is fun?" But before he could answer, the old man appeared and started walking towards you with something in his other hand that covered with a cloth.
"Here, give it to her." He throws it to Gojo, who caught it. Gojo turned to you and grins. He pulls the cloth to reveal a katana. You have never seen one before. You only heard in stories made by kids from the foster center you lived. You only know it was used thousands of years ago in Japan. The handle was black, and the blade was dark blue. Gojo examined the katana as he holds the handle in his left hand and the blade to his right.
"It's pretty, right?" Gojo asked, and you nodded. "It's too bad" he then lifted his knee to his chest and brought the katana down, which broke in two. Your eyes widen.  Did he just-
"Dude, what the hell! That was a valuable artifact, why did you-"
"Fix it."
You were taken back from what he asked. He's joking, right? '' You must be insane. I'm not some blacksmith. I don't know how to fix things."
"You didn't let me finish." He rolled his eyes and continued, "If I'm right, which I always am, you could be descended from this ancient family who is thought to be extinct. This-" he showed you the wrecked katana " will be the only way to prove it." You lifted your eyebrows. Not sure what he is saying. "Just stand up and take the gloves off."
You slowly stood up from the floor as he asked. You wiped any reaming dirt from your pants with your hands. You look down at your hands which are covered with black gloves.  What is so special about your hands?  Signing you slowly, take it off. You gasped, and your eyes widen.
Your right hand was healed.  How did this happen?  You were sure you injured yourself with glass. With your other hand, you bring your fingers to run through your palms.
"Hurry up!" The old man barked. "I don't have all day!" Already fifteen minutes have passed, and you are starting to hate this guy.
"Yea, yea," Gojo said, and he dropped the broken katana to your feet. He then brings one hand in his pocket and brings out a small pocket knife. "Here," he tossed it to you. "Cut your palm so that there would be blood and drop it onto the sword."
"Excuse me?" He has to be joking, right?
"Your not deaf, are you? You heard what I said. Cut your palm to draw blood and drop blood onto the sword."
"But how would it prove I'm whatever you think I'm? How would my blood fix it? Can't I just pick it up and connect it together? And why can't you do it since you were the one to break it."
" Nope," he pops the 'p.' " Because of one, I'm not related to the L/n's clan. Two the moment I broke it, the curse energy stored in it is gone. It would be impossible for a shaman like me to fix it because our curse energy would prevent from repairing or using it. Three, if you are descended from the L/n then your blood should be able to repair the katana and restore the curse energy imbued in it. Its confusing I'll explain it to you, if you are what I think you are. And four, you should hurry up because that old geezer back there is impatient." You looked past his right side to see the old man with the cane is waiting for you to cut your hand.
"Fine," you sighed and took the knife from him, and with your index finger, you pointed at the tip. "So what will happen when the blood drips on it?"
It can't just magically repair on its own, right?
"You'll see," you arch your eyebrows. Does he really know what will happen? You signed, and you place the blade against your palm and quickly sliced your hand. You winced in pain, and your fingers curl inward to the palm. "Okay," you muttered, and you outstretch your hand to face the broken katana in the ground. You uncurled your finger and watch as your blood drips onto the sword.
Your heart beats fast, and you begin to sweat as you closed your eyes. What is going to happen? What if he was wrong about you?
"Why won't you look at that." You opened your eyes and were shocked to see that the two halves of the blade are floating in front of you. Slowly both halves connected together, which resulted in a glowing blue aura surrounding it. Then it dropped to the floor on your feet.
"I'll go notify the other higher ups," The old man said as he turned his back to you and walked away. You gulped and bend down to pick up the katana.
"Don't touch it," you looked up at Gojo.
"Why it's mine, isn't it?"
"Yes, but you need to put the gloves on. You don't know how to control your ability. All we know when you touch something or someone fueled with curse energy, you would siphon it and weaken the other. And on top of that, you've inherited the L/n family technique, so we won't know what will happen. The gloves will only act as protection for yourself and others."
"Yea," you uttered and grabbed the black gloves that were on the floor.
"So do you accept" You look behind you to face Yaga, who said this
"Accept what?"
"Being a Jujutsu sorcerer. We will train you on how to use your technique to fight cursed spirits. The incident at the place you lived is one of many incidents that are happening in this world. If you accept, then you will fight and kill other spirits who haunt this world."
"So there are more?"
"Yes, This school where you are right now will teach you about them and how to kill them. This is not an ordinary life if you accept. So do you?" You bit your lip. You finally found a place where you could feel accepted and those who can understand you. It wouldn't be so bad to stay here, right? Besides, what can go wrong?
"Yes, I accept."
Part 4
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the-crowe-and-the-magpie · 4 years ago
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Another Opinion No One Asked For About Les Mis
Hi! Don’t mind me this is just word vomit. 
TL;DR: Michael Ball is an INCREDIBLE Javert and Russel Crowe wasn’t as bad as everyone says
I LIKE Russell Crowe’s portrayal of Javert. Does he have a great singing voice? No, it’s just marginally better than Pierce Brosnan in Mama Mia. 
I LOVE Michael Ball’s portrayal of Javert. First time I heard about him playing the part opposite Alfie (loml and resident tiny badass opera man), I was really unsure about it. I own all of Boe-Ball’s albums together and I have always joked that in some of them, you can’t tell they’re duets because Alfie is so damn loud and Michael (AT LEAST IN THESE SONGS) is more of a crooner. 
I love the staunch, rigid Javerts: Norm Lewis, Phillip Quast, Roger Allam, Earl Carpenter. 
BASICALLY, I love the character of Javert. But hear me out. There is a wild difference between playing him as a living breathing version of the lithograph presented in the novel, and playing him as a very human, very misguided, eventually very, VERY broken victim of the system. 
That’s what I liked firstly about Russell’s version. I mean he’s got a naturally sad looking face, first of all, and he played the humble servant of the law in front of Madeleine especially well. Obviously, because he’s Russell Crowe, he also did the intense lashings-out of anger and violence very well. Even up against Hugh Jackman he seems like the kind of dude that could make you bleed if you crossed him the wrong way. Was his the elegant, “Bang. A pistol shot”, commanding figure that the confident, unbroken Javert is? No, there’s nothing particularly elegant about him. But I like him, and I think his chemistry with Hugh is the sort needed for a meaningful examination of that relationship. 
NOW. Michael Freaking Ball. Lil baby afroed Marius. The cartoon golden retriever to Alfie Boe’s little-dog-with-a-big-bite. He seems wonderful, I love his dimples, he’s adorable-- very Marius, but Javert?? I was doubtful. I didn’t KNOW that this motherfucker could bust out a big voice when he wanted to. I’d never heard that from him. But again, he and Alfie are so wonderful together and they REALLY play off one another’s tension (i.e. Alfie as JVJ at Toulon, yikes). So I listened to some of the cast recording from their 2019 staged concert before even considering watching it. I didn’t even take it easy and listen to Stars first, oh no. I went right for the Soliloquy. 
BITCH I CRIED. I sat on the end of my bed with tears in my eyes, full goosebumps on my arms, breathless. I love this character, I’ve always hated the suicide scene, but this one GOT TO ME. His voice breaks, he runs out of breath, there are tears in the back of his throat which don’t make the notes pretty but it WORKS. THAT is a man on the literal precipice, realizing everything he’s done with his life, not only the obsession with this one man, but the pillars of his certainty that Valjean was as hellbent on revenge as he was, that JVJ HAD to be evil, had to be as mad and driven and bloodthirsty as he was; this all was a lie. He was forgiven, in a soft, kind voice, where he expected a knife. He was so certain of the narrow, black and white world he lived in, and it was all cut out from under him. The truth BROKE him, completely. 
Other Javerts have shown this happening really well. Earl Carpenter is one of my favorites, because even through his biting proper English accent you can hear his desperation. But it is a whole other level to completely break down, to somehow sing-scream those last few lines, to reach out into the void he’s singing about and try and grasp it; Michael fuckin’ DID IT. Finally watching the concert fully cemented this for me. He aged himself. He choked himself. He looked like he was in immense physical pain, and goddamn it, it was good. I’m dramatic as fuck but I’m not afraid to tell you I was physically shaking by the end of it. 
Am I partial to the broad-shouldered, barn-door Javerts? Absolutely. Does the new staged concert make me contemplate never watching the movie again? Possibly (sorry Hugh). And I don’t have a particular point to make with this long-ass post except to say, everyone is entitled to their opinions and their favorites (just dear god, just disagree and don’t shit on ANY of the casts), and uh, yeah, this is mine. Well done Michael Ball, you sneaky bastard. 
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one-leaf-grimoire · 4 years ago
Text
knight au chapter 8
Um there's some violence in this but no other warnings. I'll tag and add links later
Bump
“Ouch!”
Julius winced as the worn-down wagon rolled over yet another rocky spot, jolting everyone around before it steadied again. These forest paths hadn’t been used since the last war, more than 3 years ago. No one ever came this close to the border with the Diamond Kingdom, which was approaching at a worryingly fast pace.
What’s going to happen to me once Patri hands me off? Julius thought to himself, his heart pounding as he attempted to stay calm, glancing around at the two guards and the driver. His eyes fell on Patri next, who rode on his horse up ahead. He had two friends with him; a sleepy looking man with bicolor hair, and a huge beast of a man, armor strapped to his shoulders.
Of course, Julius had a feeling he could imagine the answer to his own question already. In fact, he could visualize it quite vividly. Squirming again in his bindings, Julius lowered his gaze to the floor of the wagon to avoid feeling too queasy. No doubt I’ll be feeling the same pain that Patri felt for years… but perhaps they’ll put me out of my misery quickly.
The forest was so quiet. The only sound was that of the wagon’s creaky wheels and the occasional whinny of a horse.
… is anyone going to come save me?
It was improbable. Patri probably covered his tracks pretty well, and at this point, a rescue party was probably days behind.
Julius looked up again, this time staring at the winding path they were leaving behind; towards the home he would probably never see again. And towards…
There was an unfamiliar pain in his chest. A restlessness that Julius could never quench, something that was driving him mad. He wanted to struggle and fight, to battle his way out of this situation like he had done so many times before.
Lisa… I’m sorry.
He strained at his bindings, unable to loosen them a millimeter.
If only I had a weapon… or could move… or anything-
“Alright. This is where we say goodbye, Julius.”
Julius looked up, realizing that they had stopped. Patri rode up next to the wagon, a little smile on his face. “The Diamond Kingdom knights will be here soon… sadly, you’ll have to face them without me. I have business to attend to.”
Julius’s eyes widened. “Business? More important than seeing your promise until the end?”
Patri shrugged. “That’s not for you to decide, Captain. I wish I could be here to see you get dragged to your doom, but alas.” He raised his hand in a weak wave before turning away. “Rhya. Vetto. Let’s go.”
Without another word, Patri and his two companions split off, heading off and out of sight.
The remaining three guards pulled Julius out of the wagon. Julius straightened up with a little difficulty due to the bindings still on his ankles. This is humiliating… but I can’t do anything now. He glanced at the guards, who all had their swords drawn and pointing at him. I’m useless like this… especially without a sword. My best hope at this point is to wait to escape once I get to the Diamond Kingdom… if I have time to do that-
Something rustled in the bushes.
The three guards immediately were on alert. “Who’s there?!” one of them barked. “Show yourself!”
Silence.
Julius’s heart was pounding hard.
Was that just an animal?
“I said, show yourself!” the other guard repeated. “Or we’ll drag you out of the bushes ourselves!”
Still, no answer.
With a gulp, the third guard took a step forward, holding his sword before him.
“That’s it! I’m coming-”
TWICK
A small, deadly sharp dagger shot out of the bushes, and the next thing anyone knew, it was lodged perfectly between the guard’s helmet and his chestplate; right in his neck.
With a pained splutter, the guard stumbled back, coughing up a spurt of blood before collapsing with a crash. Julius’s eyes widened, his mouth opening in shock at the sight. What?! Who’s in the bushes-
The other guards tore their eyes away from their quickly-bleeding out comrade and back to the bushes. “STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” one of them yelled, his voice laden with panic. “OR-OR-”
The attackers clearly did not heed his warning. The bushes rustled once again before two figures sprung out of it, charging straight for them. Julius’s eyes widened when he realized who they were.
Seiros? And-
With an angry yell, Lisa brandished rapier in her right hand as she sprinted at the guard on Julius’s left. Julius’s heart jolted in his chest at the sight of her, immediately worried. Lisa!! You can’t fight with that cast! And no armor as well-
Without thinking, Julius lurched forward, forgetting that his ankles were still bound. “LIS- AHH!” he shrieked as he suddenly fell face first into the dirt, twisting his ankle in the process.
Lisa, of course, did not respond, although her own heart leapt when she saw Julius standing there, looking unharmed and very much alive. Hold on, Julius! We’ll save you!
However, it was the slightly-faster (and healthier) Sei who reached his opponent first. With a blue flash, his miaodao was swinging down, the air whistling around its cold blade. The guard sucked in a breath, all his hair standing on end, but managed to bring his own sword up in time to block the strike. Sparks flew, and the guard jumped back.
“Tch. Don’t run away!” Sei didn’t hesitate, lunging forward again to attempt another blow.
The second guard brandished his heavy sword, eyeing the woman who was about to reach him. Despite just seeing his comrade get killed by the dagger, he let out a guffaw of a laugh. “What a pathetic brigade! A broken arm- AND a toothpick for a sword?” Confident, he stepped forward, swinging his sword down towards Lisa. “I’ll put you out of your misery!”
“Eek!” Lisa stalled for a moment, not sure what to do against an opponent so strong. Instinctively, she raised her rapier to parry, but ended up getting completely overpowered and knocked back. She stumbled, almost falling over, but managed to retain her stance not a moment too soon. The enemy’s sword came back down almost impossibly quick. Lisa stiffened her arm, catching the blade again and managing to thrust it out away from her body.
Julius looked up at last as the sound of swords appeared all around him. He had dirt in his eyes, but his arms were still trapped under his body. What’s going on?? Lisa- He blinked desperately, trying to clear his vision.
Lisa cried out in pain as her hand was once again shoved back by her opponent’s strength. His blade hit her guard with a loud clang, and she grit her teeth as the impact rattled her very bones. Shit! Her mind was reeling. I’m not strong enough, not in my right arm! Damn this broken arm- but- She pushed back, watching as her opponent laughed loudly at her struggle. No matter how she twisted her blade, he was holding his arm out far enough that she couldn’t reach it. If i try to win with strength, I’ll lose… so-
Sucking in a breath and focusing her mind, Lisa let up on her pushing for just a moment. Just like before, her arm and sword were immediately pushed away from the enemy’s body, leaving her wide open-
But also… he’s wide open, too!
Without even a moment to think about it, Lisa’s rapier swept back up. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sink the blade into his flesh- not yet- but she didn’t need to. With that one, swift movement, just the very tip of her blade grazed over skin. Lisa jumped back out of range as her opponent blinked, unsure of where the stinging pain in his face was coming from. But he shook his head, his grin immediately plastered back on his thin, dry, chap-stick-needing lips. “Get back here! I’m not done with you-” He took a step forward, still talking. “I’m going to slice you up nice and-”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence. A moment later, the skin of his eyelids split, cut just seconds before. Hot, stinging blood burst out like feathers from a ripped pillow, and blinded him.
“AHH!”
His sword fell into the dirt at his feet, his hands coming up to clutch his face.
“You- you-” he shrieked, angry, pained, scared, before whirling around. He was seeing red, both figuratively and literally, and now Lisa was nowhere to be seen. “I’LL KILL YOU-”
The guard’s cry of vengeance was cut off as a blade pierced his heart.
Lisa stepped back, letting go of the handle of her blade. The man’s body flopped over, crumpled on the group. Parting her lips to let out a held breath, Lisa couldn’t help but grin to herself.
“Yikes. You killed him?”
Lisa looked up to see Sei standing over another felled body. She could see its back heaving, as if it were in pain, but obviously not fatally wounded. Her eyes rose back to Sei’s face as the man cocked a brow. “Oh....” she gulped nervously. “Well- he was going to kill me! It’s only fair!”
“You misunderstand. Good job.” Sei’s lips formed a smile for a moment, but he was obviously still very much on guard. “I just wanted to keep at least one of them alive for questioning later.”
“Oh… OH!” Lisa suddenly remembered why they were there in the first place. The fight had clouded her mind with adrenaline, but now that it was clear-
“Julius! Thank goodness!”
Julius had just managed to sit up when Lisa leapt onto him. “Lisa!” he exclaimed, a grin growing on his face. He couldn’t hug her with his arms still bound, but Lisa’s arms were wrapped around his neck, her face buried into his shoulder. For a moment, the world melted away- nothing existed but her tight, warm embrace, a welcome feeling after more than a day of cold and pain. Julius let his eyes close for a moment, turning his head slightly to take in her wonderful scent, to relish the softness of her skin and her hair-
Suddenly, Julius’s eyes popped back open as he felt a murderous presence manifest. He looked up, his blood freezing as he made eye contact with Sei, who was glaring at the King as if he were about to pounce and kill him. Julius opened his mouth awkwardly, before clearing his throat. “Er- Lisa-” he said to the woman who was still hugging him tightly. “Sei- Sei is right there- looking at us-”
“Oh!” Lisa pulled away, grinning with a few stray tears in her eyes. “Sei knows about us, it’s alright!”
He knows?! Julius’s eyes widened as he glanced at Sei again. Oh, that’s why he’s so pissed...
“Lisa! Go get my dagger.”
“Right!”
Lisa quickly sprung to her feet, running to extract the dagger from the neck of one of the guards. Sei waked over and squatted next to Julius, the displeasure fading from his face. Julius momentarily wondered if the dagger was meant for him. “Was it just those three?”
Julius nodded. “There were six, but three of them left a while ago. I don’t think they’re coming back.”
“Hmm. Ok, that’s good.” Lisa returned with the knife, handing it to Sei. Sei immediately got to work, cutting through the rope around Julius’s ankles. Julius winced; Sei was rough, and it hurt his twisted ankle. “Good work with your right arm, though.”
Lisa beamed, straightening up and flexing her right arm. “Thank you! All that training paid off.”
“Training? Wow!” Julius’s eyes sparkled. “So, you’re basically ambidextrous now?”
“Almost! With sword fighting, at least. My handwriting still isn’t what it used to be.” Julius nodded along, holding up his wrists so Sei could free those as well. Lisa’s smile was more radiant than the sun, and Julius wanted nothing more than to free his arms so he could hug her back at long last. “But I’m glad we got here in time…” Lisa’s eyes turned sad again. “I was so worried.”
Julius gave her a comforting smile. “It’s alright now, though… I didn’t want you to be put in danger’s way, but I’m glad you were the one to save me.”
And what am I? Chopped liver? Sei thought to himself, trying to find a good spot in the rope to cut.
Lisa’s smile returned, a blush blossoming on her cheeks. “Thank you… Julius-”
Her words caught in her throat.
Julius blinked, still smiling up at her. “...yes?”
Nothing.
Lisa stood there, perfectly still, her mouth still open and a smile still on her lips.
… why… why did she stop talking?
Sei’s eyes widened as he sensed something. Something that was surrounding them quickly.
“Lisa? Lisa?!”
A gust of wind blew through the forest. Lisa’s body wobbled, like a leaf hanging onto its twig with just one fiber of strength. But that fiber snapped; Lisa fluttered to the ground, crumpling upon impact. Julius was still smiling when he saw the arrow pierced deep into her back.
“Julius! Get down!!”
Julius didn’t even have time to react before Sei grabbed him and threw both of them prone to the ground. Not a moment too soon, because a flurry of arrows shot out, bombarding the whole area. The pounding in Julius’s ears crescendoed as the moments prior finally came to realization. But the sound of arrows was still everywhere-
“AH-” Sei suddenly cried out as an arrow hit his shoulder. He tensed up, his own mind reeling as the pain flooded his body. Finally, the volley was over, and his grip on Julius weakened.
“LISA!!”
Julius lurched out of Sei’s grip, not even bothering to get to his feet. He crawled through the dirt, panic and shock filling his body. Lisa was still lying where she fell, but she had not been spared; four more arrows joined the one already in her back, one lodged in the hard cast on her arm, and two in her back; but the last arrow was sunk deep into her neck.
“LISA!!!!!”
His voice cracked. As Julius reached her, he stopped short before he grabbed her. His hands shook, his vision blurry.
No… no-
There was so much blood already. Julius felt dizzy, as if he was the one bleeding out.
Blood…
It was too much. That couldn’t all be her’s... could it?
No… she’s too small… this much blood would never fit in her body...
There were laughs all around. Slowly, Julius looked up, seeing their attackers finally emerge from the trees. There were 12- no, 15 of them. All dressed in armor, drawing their swords and spears. A diamond crest adorned all their outfits.
This… this is the group Patri was going to hand me over to…
“That’s too bad for Patri’s goons,” one of them said, raising his hand to stop the others. They were in a circle around Julius, Sei, and Lisa now. Sei grunted, his breathing labored as he tried to stay conscious, his hand grasping the shaft of the arrow in his shoulder. Luckily, it had missed any vitals, but he still felt like he was about to pass out from the shock of being shot. “But we still got here in time to get our prize.” The diamond knight sneered. “Come on, Mighty Stag… come without a struggle, and we’ll spare at least the man behind you.”
… spare… struggle…
The words were barely registering in Julius’s mind. Everything was still blurry, still reeling. Nothing made sense, but there was something cold and hard lodged in his chest.
Slowly, Julius rose to his feet.
The enemy knights jeered. “That’s a good boy. Come on- you’ll atone for the years of Diamond blood you shed!”
Blood…
Yes, Julius had blood on his hands. Year of blood. Blood of his enemies, but also blood of his comrades. Patri, the others he had led into battle, and to their deaths…
And now… Lisa. The one person he thought could cleanse his soul of the sins he had committed.
Her blood was everywhere.
Julius walked a few steps forward, but paused by the body of the guard Lisa had killed. Her rapier was still lodged in his chest, the handle pointed upwards like the fabled sword in the stone. Without thinking, Julius grabbed it, and pulled it free.
The atmosphere immediately changed. The diamond knights’s triumph faltered. The air chilled, the sky darkened.
They remembered that they were in the presence of the Mighty Stag. Of the King.
The rapier’s grip was too small for Julius’s hand. But he gripped it anyway, and swiped it once through the air. Then again. Then again. Each time stronger and faster than the last.
The movement was familiar. Julius was used to wielding a sword that was taller than Lisa was, but the little rapier would do for now. Taking a deep, wavering breath, his mind cleared, focus drowning out all other emotions as he took his first step forward.
A little more blood… a little more…
“I… I’m going to kill all of you.”
And he did.
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honeypirate · 3 years ago
Note
I think I know what you mean? Like I was so excited but also so nervous once I committed to mine and scheduled the appointment, haha - it was definitely worth it, though!
So first she had me look in different directions and drew a bunch of lines on my neck (it made me feel a lot more comfortable that she was careful enough to be so accurate with the placement) and then she goes "yeah dermals bleed a lot so I'm gonna hook this paper towel through your shirt, hold on a second" lmao - turns out I didn't even bleed that much, though?
The actual piercing was done with a dermal punch for both ends, and then a needle to connect them before putting in the bar - I don't even remember what the needle felt like, but the dermal punch parts really weren't as bad as I thought? I think my ear cartilage piercing hurt worse, honestly? She kept saying like "okay, deep breath" "okay, you can exhale now" so I was kind of too focused on breathing to do much else
Afterwards she was like "...you didn't flinch through any of that, that's kinda badass" - and like I know she was just saying that lmao, it's not like she didn't have multiple dermals herself and everything, but that was...kind of a great compliment lmao I'm still thinking about it. And so far it's healing really well (at least I think so since I can't see it)
(also I'm sorry for that whole wall of text, yikes)
asahi anon <3
Hahaha don’t worry walls of text are great
I’m glad it’s healing well! And it went well!! You are a badass that’s no lie hahahah
That sounds really nerve wracking honestly hahaha i would be so nervous. It’s so interesting and unique though like I don’t know ANYONE else who has that piercing that’s so rad
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rockybalfeatherboa · 6 years ago
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More B&T headcanons
More hc
-Ted has his haircut bc he pretty much just showed the barber a picture of Dee Dee Ramone
-Bill can (casually) dress pretty well but ted is the one who usually needs,,,a lil help
-he gains a better sense of fashion after high school when he moves in with bill tho
-every time they drink together ted does this lil hip swivel fists up dance when he’s drunk and bill absolutely hates it
-bills mom used to be a bad ass biker gang chick w a lot of tattoos but now she’s in jail,,,she’s really sweet and bill and his dad go to visitation often (sometimes ted tags along and he’s always so excited!! To see !!! mama s. preston esquire !!!!)
-they only have like 2 classes together but they sit with each other at lunch
-they’re both passing English but uhh not too well in everything else
-they’re in and out of detention a lot only sometimes bc they won’t stop talking and giggling during class but mostly bc of tardies
-they have learned how to have basically entire conversations thru facial expressions
-Bill can forge his dad’s signature perfectly and as far as Eugene Preston Esq. knows nothing happens at school
-Ted has a B+ in chemistry bc he cheats his motherfuckin ASS off !!!
-ted loves his dad and capt. Logan loves ted but they just,,,,are very out of touch w each other.. Ted’s dad is super old fashioned (according to the cartoon he’s a republican yikes!) and doesn’t really understand Ted’s personality or the new hip times of San Dimas 1988.. i like to imagine their dynamic like Eric and Red Forman
-both bill and ted place heavy metal and rock as their #1 music taste but synth and gangsta rap come very close
-Bill almost knows an entire cheerleading routine from watching them when they practice
-Ted and Deacon are so cool as brothers they have sworn to never snitch on each other to their dad
-missy is not a dumb hoe!!! Or a gold digger or sugar baby!!!,,,she’s just a super hopeless romantic and falls in and out of love easily, and her charms make men wanna propose to her every one luvs missy she’s so good!!
-ok ppl will admit she’s a lil weird,,,but very cool as well 😎
-Ted had to keep taking the driving test over and over bc he keeps hitting the cones and the only reason he got he license is bc one instructor got so tired of him always bein in the DMV she just passed him anyway
-Bill and ted give each other DIY piercings all the time and the only ones that don’t close up are the ones in their ears and even those got infected (once)
-like for example bill tried to pierce Ted’s nose and they already had enough trouble trying to get the nose ring thru the hole (that was bleeding a lot), but then his body just kinda ,,rejected the (cheap) jewelry over time and the hole closed up in like 2 weeks
-Bill was able to hide his shoulder tattoo from his dad for about half a year before they took a trip to the water park and had to do some explaining real fucking quick
-Ted loves Van Halen and especially David lee Roth and one time got a Charlie horse from trying to do those high kick jumps
-Ted’s dad is the type of guy to stand up in his living room and salute when the national anthem plays on tv and ted and deacon think that shit is so corny
-Bills dad tries so hard to be the hip cool dad bill kinda thinks it’s embarrassing but he loves the freedom he gets
-Bill n ted tried to recruit ppl for Wyld Stallyns but not too many ppl at school were interested and Deacon wasn’t really either.. they weren’t too bummed out bc they have big dreams about getting Eddie Van Halen
-Ted will only let go of a hug if u let go first
-Bill has a major crush on Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy and pretty much only watches the show for her
-At deacon’s baseball games Capt. Logan is pretty quiet until something good happens then he stands up and goes “thaT’S MY SON!!!!! THATS MY SON!!!!! “
-he gets uncomfortable when ted tried to hug him (bc of old fashioned values about guys hugging and toxic masculinity) but he lets it happen,, ted goes all in while Capt. Logan gives a half hearted hug back but ted is oblivious to this
-Bill has glasses but doesn’t wear em bc his vision isn’t *that* bad but he pulls em out whenever he needs to read a sign from super far way
-before they settled on “Wyld Stallyns” bill and ted have considered the following: Rat Piss (with drawn logo provided by bill of a hand squeezing the piss out of a rat), Silk Angel, Jayne Mansfield’s Head, and Loins o’ Fire,,,,they wanted to be Van Halen so fucking bad
-Deacon jokingly suggested “The Brothers Bonehead” but they were just like shut up Deacon
-Ted could (and absolutely will!) inhale an entire jar of pickles
-same thing for bill but except with Kings Hawaiian bread rolls (were those a thing in the 80s-90s?? ah who cares)
-they’re both ticklish but especially Bill !!!!!
-every Christmas is just a battle of “idk dude what do YOU want?”
-whenever bill gets nervous her gets a slight lisp it’s kinda like the S sounds as a “thzhz” sound but it’s very very unnoticeable unless ur really listening
-Ted’s laugh is the purest sound to touch ur ears,,,heart emoji
-and bill has a lovely singing voice it’s so clear and deep and so nice ted and everyone loves it
-Ted wears a bandana sometimes,,he looks cute ,, just putting that out there
-also ted used to love dinosaurs and reading about them ,, he still does but just doesn’t read about them as much anymore but his love for dinos is still 💯
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nitewrighter · 7 years ago
Text
Breach Pt. IV
Previous Parts: 1, 2, 3
In Which We’re Really Glad Hanzo’s So Good At Murdering and Aedan and Rei talk a lot.
---
Night had fallen on the Urdr Lab facility. Two talon guards walked the outer perimeter, calmly chatting.
“Everything’s sequels and reboots these days. It’s bullshit,” said Talon Enforcer 3939 Callsign ‘Tyrian.’ 
“Woah, someone’s bitter,” said Talon Trooper 4783 Callsign ‘Rosso,’ “I dunno--I’d still want to see it.”
“Look, nothing’s going to top the original run---Mid-crisis, shoestring budget, skeleton film crew--Old school Midori Rider had heart. It meant something to try and tell a story like that when the world was going to shit. It’s just a cash grab at this point,” said Tyrian.
“But girl Midori Rider though---That’s interesting. We’re kind of due for it, you know?” said Rosso.
“They want to make a female-led Sentai show they’re welcome to it, they don’t need to dry-hump Midori Rider to do it. It’s just Glitchbot struggling to stay relevant,” said Tyrian. 
“See I think it would be cool to get kids into the show, then they could get into the older versions and--” Rosso stopped suddenly, “Did you hear something?”
“Maaaybe it’s the faaaairiiiies,” said Tyrian with a snicker.
“Come off it---” said Rosso.
“You know that’s how Talon got this land so cheap, right?” said Tyrian, “None of the locals wanted to build here and---”
“Tyr--hold up,” Rosso brought a hand to the side of his helmet, “Lilla--have you seen any movement in the western quadrant?” There was only dead air on the other end. “Huh...” Rosso brought his hand away from his helmet, “Must be on break?”
Tyrian shrugged.  “Anyway,” Tyrian went on, “None of the locals wanted to build here because apparently this was ‘fairy land’ and that’s how you end up with prime geothermal real estate so---” 
An arrow suddenly pierced through Tyrian’s neck.
“What the---” it took Rosso a half-beat to register that Tyrian was gurgling and bleeding out, “Shit---” He tried to put pressure to the wound but was struggling to try and get past Tyrian’s armor without disturbing the arrow and making it worse, “Shit--” Rosso brought a hand to the side of his helmet, “Requesting back---”
A second arrow pierced through his hand, and then his helmet, the plating of both stopping the arrow as its point barely kissed his temple, the comm in his helmet had cut out from the damage of the arrow. He was screaming before a second arrow pierced them through the side and he fell to the ground, groaning, one hand pierced through and pinned to the side of their helmet. “Shit--” he was dragging himself with one arm over to Tyrian. He could activate Tyrian’s comm. Request backup. Tyrian was gone at this point, he knew that much. Rosso stretched one hand toward Tyrian’s helmet, the blood pooling between both of them, when a foot came down and stepped on his hand. The pain of having his hand crushed against the walkway was all but an afterthought compared to the arrow in his side, but Rosso craned his neck up to see a graying-haired figure standing over him. A man with a bow. 
“You--” Rosso started before another arrow split through his helmet.
Hanzo regarded the two talon guards’ corpses with a grim indifference before bringing before opening his comm. “You have your opening,” said Hanzo, “Move in now.”
“Roger!” D.Va spoke over the comm lines.
Hanzo pulled a small glowing purple translocator from his quiver and dropped it on the ground. In a flash of violet, Sombra appeared out of the translocator and instantly edged her feet away from the pooling blood. 
“Yikes...” she muttered, “Remind me to stay on your good side.”
“They have my niece,” said Hanzo, already moving forward, “The Shimada Clan would never let such a slight go unanswered. Now, if you would...”
“Gotcha,” Sombra walked across the walkway with Hanzo keeping a sharp eye out before Sombra reached a door panel, “Oh Talon networks,” she said a bit  wistfully, cracking her knuckles and bringing up a purple screen, “It’s been too long.”
“Can you hack it?” said Hanzo, frowning. 
“You know who you’re talking to, right?” said Sombra, opening up a purple screen, “Now, let’s see what we can learn...”
Hanzo heard a grunt behind him, and turned around to help Genji up onto the walkway from where he had scaled the wall.
“A lot slower than usual,” said Hanzo.
“I’ll be fine,” said Genji, circling his prosthetic arm in its socket as Mercy flew in alongside him.
“Accessing and shutting down surveillance,” said Sombra.
“Wait--” Genji walked up alongside her, “Do you see Rei anywhere?”
“Haven’t seen her yet,” murmured Sombra, scrolling through various surveillance feeds of the facility, “But it’s a big facility with a lot of---” Sombra cut herself off, then opened up a second screen. The surveillance feed on her first window had gone black, and the second screen she brought up featured a rough schematic of the facility, with a bright yellow dot just a ways off-center in it. Sombra looked between her two screens. “Wherever they’re keeping her, they’ve got the cameras off for some reason,” said Sombra.
“Mein gott--what are they doing to her!?” said Mercy, running a hand through her hair in distress.
---
“...A rescue,” said Aedan, picking up the talon assassin armor next to her, “This is a rescue. I’m...” he cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, “I’m... rescuing you.”
Rei looked at him skeptically as she rose up to a more balanced sitting-up position on the stretcher.
“I know the facility,” Aedan went on, “And I have a plan.”
“And I should trust you because...?” Rei started tying her hair back with the ribbon.
“Because it’s your only option---I mean, you could try pulling what you did yesterday--running around aimlessly through Urdr and getting nowhere before the guards tranq you again, or,” he held the assassin armor out to her, “You can put this on, follow my lead, and actually have a chance.”
“And how am I supposed to know you aren’t working with Moira?” said Rei, fastening her necklace around her neck, “That this isn’t some... sick game where I’m one of her little lab rats?”
“Rabbits,” said Aedan.
“What?” 
“We use rabbits, not--I’m getting off-point. Just---” Aedan huffed, “You don’t. You don’t know if you can trust me. And that’s fair. I just...” He brought the assassin armor up a bit more insistently, “Please let me help you.”
Rei’s eyes flicked down to the assassin armor, then up to him. Hesitantly, her movements still sluggish from all the sedatives, she took the armor.
“Why are you doing this?” said Rei.
They were going to obliterate your mind, and if they couldn’t do that they were going to cut you open over and over again and every time I thought of that it made me want to throw up, the words ran through Aedan’s mind but he couldn’t say that. He looked down. “Talon...” he said slowly, “It... wants to make a world where people aren’t held back by fear and old ideas. But if it has to brainwash people to do it... that... sort of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”
“Brainwash--?” Rei’s eyes widened and then she dropped the assassin armor into her lap, pressing her hands to the sides of her head, “What did they--Is that why they---!? They’re going to--?!”
So much for not making her panic, thought Aedan. “They weren’t able to do anything yet,” said Aedan, putting a hand on her shoulder but she flinched at his touch and he quickly withdrew his hand.
“How do you know!? I can barely remember anything since London!” Rei was practically hyperventilating at this point.
“They tried. Your... dragon... took a labtech’s hand off,” said Aedan.
Rei stared at him for several seconds, her eyes still wide with panic. “It can do that?!” she blurted out.
Really not as much of a weapon as Mum said, are you? thought Aedan, before saying, “I don’t know! It’s your dragon...thing! Shouldn’t you know what it does?” 
“I thought it just healed!” said Rei. 
“Well congratulations. You can also take hands off,” said Aedan, “Now we don’t have a lot of time. Can you please put this assassin uniform on?” 
Rei bit the inside of her lip, then set the armor next to her swung her legs over the edge of the stretcher.
“Easy--” Aedan held a hand out to her, “It’s been a while since you’ve been on your feet.”
She braced her forearm against his with one arm, then pushed off of the stretcher with the other. Her legs turned to jelly beneath her only momentarily, a brief stumble before she put her free hand against his shoulder to stabilize herself, before rising a bit shakily to two feet. 
“Can you stand?” said Aedan.
Rei nodded and they broke apart. Rei turned around and unfolded the talon armor from its place on the stretcher. Mindlessly, she undid one of the fasteners at the shoulder of her hospital gown, then stopped and looked over her shoulder at him.
“Do you mind?” she said, furrowing her brow.
“No,” Aedan shrugged, then immediately caught himself, “Oh! You’re getting--right--I’m just---right, I should... get to...” he pointed at one of the lab monitors over his shoulder, “Important... rescue... things.”
“Important rescue things,” Rei muttered as Aedan turned around and walked over to the lab monitor.  “So... what is this place?” asked Rei, as Aedan tapped away at the keyboard, reviewing the various security footage of the facility.
“These are the Urdr Labs. Talon’s Iceland-based R&D facility,” said Aedan, clicking through various cameras of the facility. 
“Iceland?!” said Rei, “How long have I been here?”
Aedan counted on his fingers, “You got here around 3 AM the night before last. You’ve been here two days.”
“Feels like longer,” said Rei.
“That would be the drugs,” said Aedan, “How’s the armor?”
“...complicated,” said Rei.
“Well don’t put the gauntlets on until last. Also you need to detach the breastplate from the abdominal lames, then reattach them once the lames are around your--” Aedan looked over his shoulder mindlessly then went beet red and quickly fixed his attention back on the monitor screen. He hadn’t really seen anything. A section of her back, maybe some Pachimari-printed panties at most. But he rubbed his forehead. This whole rescue ordeal was murder on his nerves. “Once they’re around your waist,” he said, clearing his throat. 
“Is it supposed to be this tight across the ass?” muttered Rei.
“There’s a panel at the center of the belt that adjusts the waistband,” said Aedan, “Sorry... I just went by your height. They didn’t record...the other.. measurements.”
“Didn’t even get me a bra. Grabbed the hair ribbon... but the bra? Nope,” Rei was muttering under her breath.
“It didn’t... feel appropriate,” said Aedan, “It’s fine though the armor is um... it’s... supportive?”
He could feel her shooting a glare at the back of his head from across the room before she sighed and resumed fiddling around with the complicated plates of the armor.
“Are we safe here?” said Rei, looking around the lab.
“We have maybe a few more minutes at best,” said Aedan, looking through the lab footage, “I managed to put a handful of security cameras on a loop, so it should be a while before they notice you’re gone.”
“How do you know no one else is going to walk in?” asked Rei.
“This is my lab,” said Aedan a bit proudly.
Rei’s eyes trailed along the nanite amalgams in their glass tubes and tanks all along the walls. “...kind of creepy,” she said quietly.
“Wh--I’ll have you know I do very important work here!” said Aedan, whirling around, nearly stopping himself, but then finding she had the armor mostly on at this point, “Oh--here---” He got up and hurried over, helping with the last few armor latches up her back. Rei would have flinched back at his touch, but she seemed distracted by the swirling black shapes within the glass. 
“What are these things?” she asked as he got the last latch at the back of her neck secured. She broke away from him and bent over, squinting at one, “Are these... Reaper?” she said quietly. She looked over her shoulder at him, her face lit up eerily yellow by the biotic plasma the nanite amalgam was suspended in, “Are they.... you?”
“In another life, I suppose,” said Aedan with a shrug.
Rei gave him a sidelong glance. 
“Nanite amalgams,” said Aedan, “They’re masses of cells. Some organic, some not. Some derived and replicated from me, some from Reyes. We should get those gauntlets on before---” 
“Incoming call from Facility Residence C,” the computer’s AI spoke.
“...Shit,” said Aedan. He looked at Rei. “Down!” he hissed, “Get down, now!” Rei dropped to the floor, out of sight of the monitor, Aedan put a finger to his lips to signal her to be silent.
“Patching through---” said the AI as Moira appeared on the screen and Aedan attempted to compose his appearance. She looked exhausted.
“Aedan?” said Moira, “Are you there?”
“Yes! Yes I’m here,” said Aedan, attempting to look as calm as possible, “Couldn’t sleep. Decided to get some work done. You know how it is.”
A weary smile tugged at the corner of Moira’s mouth. “Leave a note next time, will you?”
“Oh---a note. Of course. I figured I’d be back before you woke up, so...” he trailed off, “I didn’t mean to worry you.” 
“I’m sorry this whole situation has you so out of sorts, a thaisce,” said Moira, “The environment here is... different from Oasis, I’ll admit, but you’ve been doing brilliantly in adjusting.” 
“Well... adaptation is the basis of survival, isn’t it?” said Aedan with a slight smile. He gave a short glance down to Rei, huddled at his feet, glaring up at him and making ‘wrap it up’ gestures.
“You should get back to sleep, Mum,” said Aedan, his eyes quickly flicking back to Moira, “I’ll be back soon.”
“Don’t worry about me, a thaisce, I’ll be---” the image on the screen of Moira suddenly distorted, then she paused and blinked, “Did it just---” The image distorted again, “--for you too?”
“Yeah it’s--” Aedan started and the image distorted.
“There’s something wrong--Can you--” The image distorted, “--you hear me, Aedan? Can you--?” the feed cut altogether.
“Something’s wrong,” said Aedan as Rei braced a hand on the monitor’s desk and rose to her feet, apparently swaying from the head rush.
“Easy--” said Aedan.
“So comms are down?” said Rei.
“Comms don’t just ‘go down’ for Talon, and I’m not doing this,” said Aedan, “If we’re under attack, Talon’s going to lock down everything--The airfield, the gates, the---” He stopped himself and took a steadying breath, “It’s okay. This is okay. I can figure this out.” His mouth drew to a thin line, “We can’t stay here,” he said, “We can take advantage of the scrambled comms and still get to a dropship.”
“What if it’s Overwatch?!” Rei’s face lit up.
“Would they know where you are?” said Aedan, “Are you chipped?”
“What, like a dog? Gross! No!” said Rei, putting on the Talon assassin’s helmet and having the red plate come down over her face. The eyes in the visor glinted orange as it activated. “I mean... I’m pretty sure they’d ask me if they did something like that.”
“So we can assume we’re on our own. We don’t know if the attack is on the facility itself or remotely, but either way, we can’t stay here” He handed the assassin’s gauntlets over to Rei.  “Put these on and uh... keep your hands pointed away from your face.”
Rei clicked on the gauntlets, “Why do I need to keep them pointed away from my--” A massive scarlet blade suddenly jutted out of the gauntlet, missing Aedan’s head by inches.
“...that’s why,” said Aedan.
The orange eyes of her faceplate glinted in some surprise.
“They’re retractable,” said Aedan, “Just... touch your thumb to your ring finger--”
Rei complied and the blade shot back in. With that she got the other gauntlet on. 
“Index finger extends, ring finger retracts. All right, now for the really stupid part,” said Aedan, turning back to the monitor.
“I don’t know if I like the sound of the ‘really stupid part,’” said Rei.
“We need a big enough disruption in the facility so that no one will notice a dropship leaving,” said Aedan, clicking through several programs detailing the current status of the nanite amalgams.
Command: Purge in T minus 15 minutes
A window popped up on the screen.
Readings still show Nanite Amalgams not in alternate containment. Override? Y/N
Y, Aedan typed.
Enter override code.
ashes2ashes, Aedan typed.
Accepted.
Aedan heard a snort behind him and gave a slight start how close Rei was to him.
“Ashes2ashes?” Rei said, “You’re all really... ‘None More Goth’ here at Talon, huh?”
Aedan chuckled. “We should get going,” he said, glancing at the counter that had appeared on the monitor, “Fifteen minutes and this place is going to get ugly.”
Aedan opened the door into the hall and looked around. No guards, no labtechs. He put on the labtech mask, goggles, and surgical cap once more, motioned to Rei, and together they headed down the hall. It was odd, seeing someone in full Talon assassin garb walking... like a normal person. Most Talon assassins moved like animals, to him, something alien, between feline, avian, and reptilian. The way Rei carried herself was... well... it was Rei. Their pace was brisk but if they broke out into full-on sprints, they risked drawing more attention to themselves. Rei was still a bit imbalanced from the drugs, able to walk, but looking around vaguely, sometimes her steps meandering away from him, sometimes bumping her shoulder into his, then she’d quickly resume her course as best she could. Aedan could feel his stomach knotting up with stress. They just had to get to Urdr’s airfield, type in the preset coordinates to Reykjavik, say their goodbyes, and that was it. Then “Whoops, there was an accident in my lab--what do you mean the ninja girl escaped?” and this whole thing could be put behind him.
You can’t just do something like this, One of the nagging, nattering voices in his head spoke up, You can’t just pick and choose what parts of Talon you’re going along with, and what parts you won’t, and you know it. This isn’t taking a joyride with Seye on one of the hover dollies, this is actively undermining--no, betraying, Talon. And for what?
Aedan looked over at Rei, her face hidden by the assassin’s helmet.
For what?
She’s a weapon. You’re literally handing a weapon right back to Overwatch. You’re going to have to face her one day---the two of you are going to be on opposite sides of a battlefield because you couldn’t do what had to be done tod---
“Can I ask you something?” said Rei, snapping Aedan out of his thoughts.
“Shoot,” said Aedan with a shrug, thankful there was something to interrupt the train of anxiety.
“What was your mother saying back there—the thing that kind of sounded like sneezing?” asked Rei.
Right, she’s still a bit out of it, thought Aedan. “What?” said Aedan.
“A-hesh-keh,” said Rei.
“A thaisce?” suggested Aedan.
“Yeah, that,” said Rei.
“Oh—“ Aedan reddened a little, “She just… that’s… just what she calls me…” he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Irish, right?” said Rei, “What does it mean?”
Aedan felt his own face burning and then folded his arms, “It… means ‘My treasure,’” he said, figuring there was no use in lying about it.
He expected her to snicker or tease or worse at that, but she didn’t. The eyes of the assassin’s faceplate just gleamed a little. A smile? “Hey,” she said, pointing a thumb at herself, “Sunshine--Well... ‘Sunneschii.’ You’re not the only one who still has a baby nickname.”
“Of course you’re ‘sunshine,’” said Aedan, quietly, smiling a little beneath the Labtech mask.
 “Moira…She loves you, doesn’t she?” said Rei, “Like… actually loves you.”
“Wh—Of course she loves me, she’s my mother!” said Aedan, “I mean… sure, I wasn’t… born like you but…” Aedan didn’t really know how to finish that sentence.
“...so my mom was right,” Rei said quietly, “Moira didn’t have you... she made you.”
Aedan was silent for a few seconds, then straightened his shoulders and forced a grin. “Well of course,” he said, gesturing at himself with a faux-grandiloquence, “Designer.”
Rei looked at him a blankly.
“Designer... genes...” Aedan said a bit weakly.
“Are you... okay?” Rei tilted her head at him.
“Fine, just...” Aedan made a waving gesture next to his head, “Trying to figure things out. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Rei extended a hand and touched his arm. He looked from her hand, to her. Her expression, naturally, was unreadable with the red faceplate of a Talon assassin, but somehow there was something steady in the orange glint of her visor.
“...Thank you,” she said after a beat, “I... I still don’t know if this is all some sick game on Moira’s end but... if it isn’t... you’re risking a lot. So thank you.”
“Not that your skepticism isn’t fully justified but... what’s it going to take for you to see this isn’t some sick game on my mum’s end?” said Aedan.
“Getting back to Gibraltar,” said Rei.
“...Fair,” said Aedan, “I’ll do my best to get you there, then.”
The lights suddenly dimmed and an alarm started blaring.
“This is the stupid part of the plan, right?” said Rei, looking at Aedan.
Aedan checked the timer on his comm. “...nnno,” he said slowly, “It’s about 8 minutes too early for the stupid part.”
“Oh...” said Rei, “We’re in trouble, aren’t we?”
“We’ve been in trouble, but now we’re in more trouble, yes,” said Aedan.
63 notes · View notes
apathbacktoyou · 6 years ago
Note
bandaging each other's wounds + sinasius
how long has this been sitting in my drafts… yikes (5ever is the answer. that’s longer than forever)
also this erred on the verge of crack territory whoops
you know the drill: ao3 or under cut
Kasius leaned back against the wall, trying to regulate his breathing and not think about the deep gash across his stomach. With the adrenaline still rushing, he was barely even in pain.
But the sight of all the blood was just too much. He’d averted his eyes once Sinara had cut away his uniform but he was sickeningly sure he had seen his own intestines.
“There you go,”Sinara said, voice soft and soothing, continuing with whatever she was doing to stem the bleeding.”I’m almost done now.”
Kasius blinked down at her hands through half-closed eyes, only to snap them completely shut again instantly. Whichever purpose the hooked piece of metal was meant to serve, he didn’t think it was supposed to be used on a person. Stitches, she’d said. She had failed to mention she had no needle. He did not even want to know what she was using as thread.
She was still muttering reassurances. Somehow they really did not have the desired effect. Maybe because he had never heard Sinara say this many words in this short a time.
“Am I dying?”he asked. If he was, he’d rather she’d tell him now and stop with this nonsense that apparently passed for emergency care when hidden away in some cargo hold after fleeing the battlefield.
To his bewilderment, Sinara chuckled at his question.“No. Why do you ask?”
“You’re being very pleasant, with all that talking,”Kasius replied.“It’s rather unnerving.”
Another chuckle.“You look about ready to faint. I’d prefer if you didn’t. That’s all.”
“Oh.” He felt a little stupid for asking. Or would have, if he’d had the energy to care about anything except his injury right then. Slowly, the pain was making itself known. It was blinding. Yet somehow, the twinge of her sewing up his wound still made it through. He almost retched at the thought of the makeshift equipment piercing his flesh. He took a deep, shuddering breath.“Could you keep talking?”
It was easier to just focus on her voice, breathing as steadily as he could manage while she continued to work.
“I’m finished,”she finally announced.
He made the mistake of opening his eyes. Her hands were caked with blood. His blood.
This time, he did gag.
The look Sinara gave him was somewhere between exasperated and amused.“You need to lie down.”
The suggestion was enough to make him forget about his injury for a moment. He looked first at her, then around the cargo hold with growing disbelief. Surely she could not be serious?
“Lie down?”he echoed.
“For fuck’s sake,”Sinara muttered, scooting around to lean against the wall as well, and gesturing towards her legs.“Go on, before I have you puking all over your wound.”
He hesitated for a moment, unsure whether she was mocking him. But he was feeling lightheaded. He really could do with lying down for a moment.
Before he could think better of it, he accepted the offer and bedded his head in her lap. He was almost sure he heard her calling him an idiot, but he was already half-unconscious and couldn’t bring himself to care.
“You’re bleeding,”Kasius said. It was, perhaps, not the smartest or most helpful thing to say. But he was rather shaken. Assassination attempts had been very low on his list of concerns here in exile. And they had arrived among his guests.
“Astute observation,”Sinara deadpanned. She had her hand pressed across the wound, but blood was seeping out between her fingers as she riffled through the shelves.
She was the only one of his guards still standing, he was almost certain. She had removed him from the banquet hall to fast too be sure.
Sinara gave up her search, sighing in annoyance.“Who doesn’t put a medkit in a panic room?”
“What do you need?”he asked, keeping his eyes firmly on her face. With the shock slowly subsiding, he was suddenly far too aware of the metallic odour of blood; he did not need to look at her injury any closer than he already had.
“Anything to make a halfway decent tourniquet.” She was eyeing him with more concern than he felt was entirely appropriate when it was her blood and not his slowly dripping to the ground.“Are you going to faint again?”
“I did not faint,”he protested. Not that this was the time or place to discuss the matter. It just felt important to correct her on her assumption.“Will my belt work?”
She nodded, still not looking entirely convinced he wasn’t about to keel over.“You’ll have to tighten it for me. I can’t do it properly myself.”
“I can do that.” He wasn’t entirely sure if he was trying to convince Sinara or himself.
Once again they had no medic. Kasius was beginning to wonder just how they kept ending up in these situations.
Well, this time it did make sense, as the explosion that had injured them had rendered the doctor beyond all help. An experiment with Inhuman DNA gone horribly wrong.
It was thanks to Sinara’s quick reaction that they were still alive; he had hit the ground with her shielding him before he had even comprehended that they were in peril.
The cut on his head was bleeding profusely, but Sinara had assured him head injuries often looked worse than they were, and this one was such a case. She’d applied a pressure bandage for him, then deeming him healthy enough to be left alone.
“I’ll go find Hek-Sel,”she said.
That made no sense. Hek-Sel wasn’t needed. They simply needed a few servants to clean up this mess.
“What for?”he asked.
“I have shrapnel in my back,”she said.“I need someone to dig it out.”
“I can do that,”Kasius offered. Medically necessary or not, he did not like the idea of Hek-Sel touching Sinara. Or of anyone touching her, really.
“No, you can’t.” It was not meant to insult him, he knew.
“Let me try,”he insisted.
She rolled her eyes but did not argue further, shrugging off her uniform and turning her back to him.
The sight of the raw wounds covering her back immediately set his stomach roiling. He reminded himself of the alternative, gritting his teeth and setting to work.
By the time he managed to extract the last piece of metal, his hands had almost stopped shaking.
Sinara turned back around, looking at the bloody metal shards now littering the floor, then at his pallid face.
“You held up well,”she said, the hint of a smile playing around the corners of her mouth. The glint in her eyes seemed to say she knew exactly why he had been so insistent on doing this himself.
“I wouldn't have done it for anyone else,”he replied, and then kissed her before he lost his nerve.
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pindaleng · 7 years ago
Note
All of the 70 asks thanks :-)
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
It’s dece! 
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
With all three words? And not “lurv” or “luv”? And in person and not text? Yikes idk maybe my mum
03: Do you regret anything?
Regret is a strong word for all the little things that haunt my mind example responding to someone’s “nice to meet you” with “oh haha… um you too” with a slowly fading voice
04: Are you insecure?
aRe YOu INsEcurE¿ No what gave you that idea
05: What is your relationship status?
Single and ready to be alone forever
06: How do you want to die?
Preferably shot while shielding someone with my body and then bleeding out in their arms while they tearfully say wow ur heavier than u look.
07: What did you last eat?
Yummy Lindt truffle cappuccino flavored *heart eyes*
08: Played any sports?
Ooo dabbled in lots! Basketball, swimming, tennis, karate (is that a sport?), volleyball, and football
09: Do you bite your nails?
Nah but once I tried to before my piano lesson to trim them by biting right before my piano lesson so my teacher wouldn’t admonish me for my long nails
10: When was your last physical fight?
I punched a kid in the arm for beating me in Mario Kart once but she didn’t punch back so don’t think it counts as a fight but like literally my closest thing
11: Do you like someone?
Like a million celebrities
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Lmao no I can barely stay up like five before needing a nap
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Stable genius
14: Do you miss someone?
My frandssssss
15: Have any pets?
No :
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Shleepy and stressed
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Shucks no but all the fics make it sound amazing
18: Are you scared of spiders?
Irrationally yes but like calmly I can respect their space if they don’t crawl on me or touch my food
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I’d go back and tell past self to watch vine while it’s happening so you’re not left out of all the references in the future
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
Their house haha lmao lol
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
Move back to school and mebbe go to a sports game
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
Idk cuz like it’d be cool to raise a tiny human but also RAISING A TINY HUMAN ASDJFKL; But if I do, at least two cuz sibs I think sibs r gr8
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
7 ;) jk only two, one on each ear
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Math on my good days! Physics in high school but then college happened and that flew away like a sparrowhawk
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
Many! Talking to the master of holding on to things here
26: What are you craving right now?
Affection. But will take pizza as consolation prize
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Definitely
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
Don’t think so!
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Um probably not but who rly knows
30: What’s irritating you right now?
@Michael what do you want from me
31: Does somebody love you?
What really is love
32: What is your favourite color?
Red. Like blood
33: Do you have trust issues?
Answered in previous ask but if you need a reminder the answer is woohoo yes! :)
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Sophie Cookson don’t wanna talk bout it
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
@blackdowning Yikes that was embarrassing sorry
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
Nope most of the time people deserve second chances and third and fourth and fifth and
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Definitely forgive I can remember stuff for five centuries for every single transgression made towards me don’t wrong me I’ll bring it up on your deathbed 
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
It’s only been like eight days calm down don’t pressure me
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Big ol two - oh
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Yikes nope
51: Favourite food?
Sushi! Could eat that ish foreverrrr
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Maybe some things but not everything? Like was there a reason I dropped my phone trying to take something off the shelf? Yes and that reason was clumsiness.
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Go on tumblr
54: Is cheating ever okay?
Idk I have a daydream/headcannon that there’s this one spy that has to for the sake of national security so good for the country but kinda messes up the family yikes
55: Are you mean?
I think I’m pretty average yeah
56: How many people have you fist fought?
None :(
57: Do you believe in true love?
Yessssss
58: Favourite weather?
Sweater weather! Or non-sweaty tshirt/shorts weather
59: Do you like the snow?
Fresh snow omg yes sign me up
60: Do you wanna get married?
I think so? Tax benefits pls
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Um dunno since it hasn’t happened. I do like pet names tho so idk.
62: What makes you happy?
Other people being happy!
63: Would you change your name?
Umm maybe if it’s super cool but I’m also v attached to my name
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Yikes yes
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Stab them and yell what’s wrong with you. But actually probably just pretend I don’t know until I can’t and then get real stressed and maybe cry. Wait, do I like them back? Cuz that would change things. Also wait is this current bff of op sex cuz hahahahahhahahahahahahah refer to first statement.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Pretty close I’d say! But like what really is my complete self yk
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
In person? My dad
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Um my friend Alex!
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
Yep
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
Lotz of people! Not a huge selection barrier
Asky me thingys
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save-all-the-secrets · 7 years ago
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ABC TAG @boganurgeois tagged me in this because she is a lovely little aries and don’t get me fucking started don’t get me hyped 
A- Age: 18
B- Birthplace: Ontario
C- Current Time: 9:39pm
D- Drink you last had: coffee mixed with chocolate milk and ice please someone stop me
E- Easiest people to talk to: Jay, we don’t talk that much anymore but it was always easy
F- Favourite Song: Yikes can’t pick one so i’ll do my top favs, Everlong By Foo Fighters, The Ocean by Against Me, Skinny Love by Bon Iver, About a girl by Nirvana, Degausser by Brand New, Fastlove by George Michael. La vie en rose by Edith piaf, Bath Salts by Highly Suspect  and Laura by PHOX
G- Grossest Memory: I can’t think of anything too specific other than when i used to eat bugs as a kid and all the times i’ve spewed blood from different weird scratches and cuts as a kid, but i do remember once picking my nose so violently when I was 7 that I got a nose bleed y’all date me
H- Horror or No Horror: SAKJSFHASHFABWJnwfjnwjnfwvvkbv babe, I watch Hardcore Gore films when I’m feeling sad
I- In love: I don’t believe in love, get back to me in 10 years and we’ll see
J- Jealous of people: OH YEAH BABY, i am exceptionally jealous of others, its not that i don’t want them to have nice things because that would be envious its just I want those nice things too, more like nice experiences because i’m a spoiled white girl
K- Killjoy or life of the party: hmm, alcohol tastes really bad but I’m always busting out some terrible theories or dancing, my university friends seem to think I’m fucking bomb (but also killjoy because MCR)
L- Love at first sight or should I walk by again: I think you should walk by again, I don’t believe love is instantaneous it definitely takes massive amounts of development if anyone can give me physical evidence tHAT IT EXISTS???
M- Middle Name: I haven’t got one, i just have a first and surname
N- Number of siblings: 1 older sister, i would love an older brother if anyone wants to adopt me as their sister
O- One Wish: To have Johnny Stevens fall in love with me and prove something is worth striving for
P- person you called last: The mothership (my mom man living away from home is rough I call her a bunch)
Q- Question you’re always asked: A variation of; Do you know you’re tall, do you play volleyball/basketball, you should be a model I’ve heard you need to be tall, YOU SURE YOU CAN GET A JOB WITH THAT DEGREEEEE?????????
R- Reason to smile: Marilyn Manson’s new album wooohhh baby
S- Surprise Party by Hoodie Allen
T- Time you woke up: 8am
U- Underwear colour: dark grey thong
V- Vacation destination: I would love to go back to San Fransisco but I would absolutely love to show Johnny Stevens all around amsterdam because he’s my favourite boy and thats my favourite city i’ve been to and I want to share it with him yikes maybe thats love let me think
W- worst habit: OKAY WAIT HERE GOES, nail biting and ripping, hair chewing, ripping out eyebrow hairs and eyelashes, skin pinching, pull at my piercings, taking to myself, pulling my earlobes, facial ticks, finger tapping during conversation, lip twitching when nervous, eye twitches, ripping the skin from my finger tips, etc
X- X-rays: one on my finger when I busted it in a door, a bunch on my back because of my spine (6’1 problems), one on my ankle because i messed it uPP, one on my left leg when i split it ope with a broken glass cup and i had to get skin grafted and 31 STITCHES LIKE HAVE YOU EVER FELT THAT KIND OF PAIN HMMM??
Y- Your comfort food:Mashed potatoes mama
Z- Zodiac Sign: Pisces zoom zoom
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notgonnarememberthis · 8 years ago
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A Better Tomorrow - Chapter 10
Thank you all for all of the support especially off the last chapter (given it was a lot of “how could you”s but still counting it). It truly has given me another boost to power through this chapter and actually next to the first few chapters, this is my proudest chapter yet. I’m really happy with it. I’m not too sure how quickly I’ll be able to post for the next two weeks. I’ve got AP exams next week, senior exams the week after as well as tech week and my final performance... yay. Anyways as of now there’s only three chapters left! I hope you guys have been enjoying the story and stick around to the (bitter) end.
An arrow zips through the sky tearing through the bitter cold towards its target. Daisy almost smiles as the arrow perfectly pierces the rabbit. She ties her mare to the tree quickly going to fetch her prey. The snow crunched loudly under her boots but she needed to hurry. Just as she bent down to fetch the rabbit, she spies movement out of the corner of her eyes. A flash of brown fur dashes between the trees. For a moment Daisy swears she is hallucinating. It’d been months since she had last seen a deer. Her stomach growls impatiently. A deer could feed her for at least a week maybe two if properly preserved. She bites her lip notching an arrow.
She holds her breath as she begins the chase. She can’t help it. It’s a habit. She can feel the beat of her heart thrumming rhythmically against her chest. Drawing her bow back she slowly lets out the breath she was holding and lets it fly. She smirks slightly as the beast rears back with the shot. It’s pierced the stomach. Not a killing shot but it’ll bleed out soon enough. The thing runs as fast as it can with the injury. She’s sure she’s going to lose it if she doesn’t pick up the pace.
Daisy pants as she comes upon an abandoned farm. She smiles as she spies the thing collapsed in the snow. Just as she’s about to sheath her arrow she’s got set two figures emerge from the other side of the woods coming quickly upon her kill.
She fires her shot into the wood of the barn. “Hey!” She calls out viciously. The figures freeze as she makes her way up to them. She’s already got another poised and ready as she stands protectively over her kill. “Move one inch and I put one right between his eyes.” She warns gesturing at the shorter figure. As she focused on them she could identify both as men, one European looking and the other white. The European’s eyes flashed to the taller man, he simply nodded for him to put his hands up. Good. Maybe this will be easy.
“Sir you can’t be serious.” Again the taller one holds up a hand.
“What’s your name?” The man asks.
“What’s it to you?” She snarls.
“Fine.” He nods with a clipped smile. One that looked like it could cut. “My name is Grant Ward. This is my partner Sunil Bakshi.” Ward states gesturing to his begrudging partner. “We’re from a colony full of women and children. They’re all starving and need food. We just want half of the deer.”
“Yeah well I’m from a colony too.” Daisy lies easily. “Women and children. Lots of them.”
“Please. We can trade just about anything. Is there something you need?” The man, Ward, pleads. As she studies him he doesn’t look too much older than herself. Definitely younger than Bakshi so how was it that he was in charge between the two?
“We have weapons, water, medicine, ammuni-”
“Medicine!” She shouts cutting off Bakshi in the middle of his sentence. “Do you have antibiotics?”
“We do. Just follow us.”
“No!” Daisy snaps again. “I’m not going anywhere. Bakshi can go get the medicine. If you have what I need… it’s yours.”
“Deal.”
“But sir!”
“Go Bakshi.” Ward commands. With a hesitant look the man is trudging through the snow alone.
“I want your rifle too.” Daisy demands feeling a little too confident in her negotiations. Sure enough he tosses the weapon knocking a bit of the snow up onto her boots sending a cold chill through her body.
“Can we get inside at least? I can tell you’re cold. I’ve got dry firewood and matches in my bag.” Hesitantly Daisy nods to the deer gesturing for him to grab it. As he drags it to the barn she switches from her bow and arrow to the rifle keeping the gun trained on him. In silence they set up the fire. She sets the gun down carefully making sure to keep it near just in case but her fingers were going numb even under the three layers of gloves. “So…”
“Not bonding time.”
“What? You’re not going to tell me your name you could at least tell me who you’re doing this for. Someone had to teach you how to shoot like that.”
“My name is Skye. The medicine is for my mother. We ran into a group of scavengers and she got hurt… really bad.” It’s not entirely a lie. She’d gone by the name Skye for the first thirteen years of her life until Andrew told her about her parents. Melinda might as well be her mother with all she had done for her. Just the thought of possibly losing her tossed her stomach and had tears welling in her eyes. It’d been nearly three weeks since Melinda had fallen off the horse nearly bleeding out in the middle of the road.
“Sounds like a fighter to me.”
“You have no idea.” Daisy laughs sadly.
“No I get it.” He shrugs. “My brothers… may they rest in peace… they were both good fighters. Taught me nearly everything I know about fist fighting at least. Being the middle child wasn’t the easiest.” Daisy almost catches herself smiling at his reminiscing. “But my older brother… something snapped. He tried killing us both. Almost succeeded too.” He raises his shirt showing a nasty looking scar across his abdomen.
“Yikes.”
“Yeah… Had to stitch it up myself.”
“You’re good at that?”
“Better than most. My godfather taught me basic medicine.”
“Do you think…” Daisy drones off. She knows this is a bad idea. She hardly knows this man. Sure he’s barely older than her but she’s positive she can’t take him in hand to hand. Melinda has taught her a lot but from the sounds of it he’s skilled as well.
“What?” She’s out of options though. Melinda is miles away and likely catching an infection, a cold, or worse.
“Can you help me take care of my mother? In trade I’ll hunt for you. I’m much lighter on my feet than either of you.” Ward smiles for a second before nodding.
“Yeah.” A sudden groaning interrupts them before the door smashes open. “Get down.” Daisy drops her head on instinct just before three gunshots go off. She looks up in a mixture of pissed and startled. Ward is still on the ground with a pistol in his hand.
“Seriously?”
“You never asked if I had any other weapons.” He shrugs. “At least you know I didn’t shoot you.” He smiles again and damn it. She huffs leading him out of the barn to check for more. Just as they finish she spies Bakshi running up with a book bag in hand.
“Syringes and antibiotics.” His thick accent cuts with otherwise unexpressed anger. He doesn’t like the arrangement.
“Take the deer. I’m going with the girl.”
“What?”
“We’ve made a deal. I help her, she helps us. We’ll meet up here once a week to trade food and antibiotics.” With a pat on the arm Ward wishes the man a goodbye and they’re on their way.
Surprisingly Ward is silent on the walk. She expected pressuring questions, demands to know more, and generally being annoyingly charming. She grabs the mare tying the rabbit she’d secured to her own belt to its saddle. He keeps his expression neutral until they approach the abandoned home. Daisy climbs in through the window throwing her own bag onto the couch, dust flying up in it’s wake. She would’ve used it had it not been for her reluctance to leave Melinda’s side.
Daisy scampers down the stairs quickly spying the woman in the middle of the floor. She was laying on an old mattress with a blanket strewn across her legs. She must’ve thrashed it off in her sleep. Her skin is a sickly pale and she’s shivering. It breaks her heart to see the woman so weak.
Ward is by Melinda’s side quickly preparing what he needs. Daisy lifts her shirt cutting the bandage she’d secured around her waist this morning. She’d spied new ones in his bag. Those would be better. Ward peers at the messy stitches Daisy had done through tears from weeks ago.
“Good thing is, it’s not infected.” He states. “Though I’ll need to redo them if she’s to heal properly.” Daisy nods understanding and watches him as he works. He injects Melinda with the antibiotic first. Her body jerks at the invasion but she doesn’t wake. His hand is steady, eyes focused as he fixes the stitches. It’s almost fascinating to watch.
For the first time in weeks Daisy allows herself to truly sleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They go on like this for four weeks. Melinda has drifted in and out of consciousness but besides that generally remains unresponsive. If that worries Ward he sure as hell doesn’t show it.
Daisy catches him sleeping in a nearby chair she’d set up for him in the basement to allow him to watch over Melinda during the night. Sometimes her terrors would become so violent that she’d almost tear her stitches. Since then Bakshi also packed sedatives in those cases. Daisy hated it but she knew it was necessary.
A small groan startles Daisy from her thoughts. Melinda’s eyes are open, peering at her through the darkness.
“Daisy?” She grumbles, words slightly slurred. So she’d received a dosage of sedative today…
“Hey.” Daisy rushes to her side dropping to her knees. “You’re awake.”
“What the hell happened?”
“You got into a scuff with a scavenger. You took a fall and got pierced by some rebar.” Just bringing the incident to memory had Daisy’s face running warm and tears welling in her eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
“Never.” Weakly Melinda brings a cold hand to her cheek. Daisy lets out an overjoyed sob as she feels her wipe a tear away. The moment is cut off quickly as May goes stiff, eyes trained behind her. “Who the hell is that?”
“That’s Ward.” Daisy eases. “He’s been helping me take care of you in exchange for hunting.”
“We need to go.” Melinda tries to get up but her movements are slow, riddled with weeks of misuse.
“Whoa. You’re still not in condition to go anywhere. You’re almost healed. Just another week.”
“No Daisy listen to me.” Daisy’s mouth shuts at the firm command. “You need to run.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s one of the scavengers from the lab. I fought him before I fell.” Daisy’s blood runs cold. Did he recognize Melinda? Surely not if he’d helped her. “Go. I can stall.”
“No May. I’m not leaving without you.” Melinda’s eyes are closing already, though, drowsiness overwhelming her body.
“No no no!” She cries. “May wake up!” Her heart is pounding against her chest. She has to do something. Get her gun. Get armed.
“May should’ve kept her mouth shut.” A cold voice growls in her ear. Ice pours down her spine at the noise. She’d trusted him. Both of them. They’d known all along, Daisy realizes now. They had been playing her for a fool the entire time. Why was he helping her though? Why did he try so hard to save the both of them when he could’ve easily taken them both out in their sleep: unguarded and never the wiser. Venom fills her heart with anger. She tries to recall every bit of training she’s had. How easily she could flip him over her back and fight with all of her might. But if this man was still alive he must’ve put up a hell of a fight. Daisy silently wonders to herself if that scar was really from his brothers or if it was from May. At the moment a dark part of her wishes for the latter. “And here I thought you’d be so… cooperative.”
Melinda’s still form is the last thing Daisy sees before the butt of his pistol makes contact with her temple, sending her world spiraling into darkness.
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kkaadvns-blog · 8 years ago
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* ♦ ⋅ ⋆ — ‹ michael b. jordan › meet kaden walker, a twenty-eight year old male gang banger that is known as the crimson. the rent-a-thug, he is a scorpio, which means he is charming & intelligent, as well as hedonistic & flirtatious. hopefully, nobody will find out kade’s dark secret. 
*uberhaxornova voice* alright helLO ( watch, no one else knows who that is ) i’m caitlyn, i’m 22, i live in CST and i go by she/her pronouns. this is my trash baby kaden.  im v excited to be here & plot with ya’ll!!! speaking of plotting, like this if you wanna plot and i’ll hop into ur ims rEAl quick.. i need all the plots. i have a v basic connection pages up for him HERE, if you wanna take a look @ that and some stats n whatnot below the cut!! ( PS: i will be at work for three hrs but i’ll be on as soon i get home )
( tw: mentions of death, weapons, drugs, alcohol & violence. )
BIOGRAPHY
was born in oakland, california and lived there until he was 16.
lsn ok kaden grew up… hella wealthy.. however, that money was not really made legally ??
his parents were a part of a v notorious gang in cali and lets just say he didn’t have the most ‘normal’ life growing up bc of if.
even though his parents did that for a living, they tried to keep him and his younger sister out of the loop as best as they could, making a life for their kids that was not a life like their own.
however, he knew there was something up at a very young age, there were far too many times where his parents were gone late at night for him not to catch onto their job positions.
but for the longest time, he just told himself they were doing whatever they needed to do to keep him and his sister safe and left it at that.
being the curious person he was, he ended up sneaking out of her first day of class ( i’m talking middle school here ) one day, tracking down his parents car and found a window that was open and listened to the entire conversation about how they needed to end an opposing gang that was treading too close to her parent’s territory. that’s when he found up they were much higher up in rank than he thought.. like.. leader status
he kept silent about it for a while, dropping subtle hints here and there until his parents finally caught on. they weren’t even mad that he eavesdropped on their conversation, instead they sat him down at a very young age and explained everything they did and why they needed to do it.
not only that, they started training kaden as well, teaching her him to use various weapons, how to pick locks, how to get in and out of places unseen and everything else she would need to know to eventually take their place one day.
much to their surprise, kade picked up on these things as easy as it was for him to breathe the air around them. he was a natural born criminal and that made them proud as can be. but he knew he wasn’t the only child they had, so he started asking questions.
after asking why his parents weren’t teaching these things to his sister, he found out that her life path was not that of their parents. from a young age, his sister wanted to be a cop, so that was what she pursued.
for a while, he couldn’t understand it, wanted to know why his own sister would be on the side that could potentially lock their parents away for the rest of their lives.
but that didn’t matter, she wasn’t even an official officer when kaden had to pll her out of school only to explain to her that their parents died in a crash. it was almost too much for the both of them to deal with, but it also made it clear to kaden why his sister chose a different path.
he knew that crashes happened and for a year or so, he lived with that and just wrote it off as an accident. but what people didn’t know was that he’d become really, really good at hacking into people’s information, finding out that his parents weren’t just killed in the crash, they were murdered. the whole thing was a set up.. done by someone below them in ranks that didn’t like the fact they were in power.
this set kaden off, making her go into this downward spiral that even his sister couldn’t get her out of.
he went out partying at a young age, started doing drugs.. anything that would make her forget about his parents for a while.
not only did that happen though, he became more and more motivated to take over their legacy, bursting in on one of the mafia’s meetings only to punch the person responsible directly in the face. he thought it would get him killed, and there was a part of him that didn’t care. but it didn’t, in fact it not only scared the other mafia members, but it instilled a respect for him in them that he had gotten from her parents.
things were find for a while, he was 16 and living with his aunt, uncle and sister.. all of whom  tried to keep tabs on him as much as they could, but even that didn’t help them when he had a con-artist of a boy who paid people to lie for him about his whereabouts and things like that, but they tried and that was enough for him because it showed that they all loved him and cared.
but things changed once again when he turned 16, his uncle catching him trying to steal clothes from the store. and instead of reporting kaden himself, his uncle took him straight to his younger sister and they both filed a roperot on him. needless to say, they were probably a little more harsh on him than they should have been given that it was their relative. they ended up putting him in a cell for a  good three weeks, probation after that and that was when he started to dislike her and her life choices.
after his probation was over, he knew she needed to get out, go somewhere where no one knew his name, no one knew what happened to his parents nor the ties he now had with the same gang that got his parents killed. so she made the choice to move to mississippi. he’d seen articles on it and fell in love so he figured why not?
shortly after that, he found out that he could do dangerous things for a living and basically tried to do anything and everything he could that was considered reckless. falling into the underground life.
he quickly gained the title rent-athug in the gang and was climbing the ladder of the boxing ring he’d gotten into after a flawless first 10 fights, his opponents not even touching him.
now? he’s pretty well known in the underground scene, feared by a lot due to his brash and blunt behavior. not to mention the fact he’s gone untouched in every boxing match he’s had in years.
however, outside of the underground life, he tells people he’s just a trust fund baby who was left with the amount of money he has, making sure his other life doesn’t get out to the general public.
PERSONALITY
while kaden is sarcastic and blunt, he’s extremely outgoing, intelligent and charming when he wants to be.
he normally get along with everyone because he lives his life as chill as he possibly can. sure, there are some people that annoy him but he has never hated anyone other than the person that killed his parents.
loves to party, drink… be wild, do stupid things.
is the dude that probably sends half nude photos to his friends 2 see if they’re up to par ?? like ‘hey do u think this is good enough 2 send’
will want to go to a bar, club or party with everyone because that’s where he feels more comfortable.
extremely reckless.. like probably will suggest they break into a park of something after hours just to go exploring in the dark??
curses like a daMN SAILOR
drinks…. a lot… like….. way more than he should.. probs bleeds whiskey
always has bruised knuckles or a black eye or SOMETHING from his boxing matches
owns a motorcycle.. and its literally his baby
… he flirts… with everyone and is rather amorous. meaning there’s a 99.9% chance he will try 2 sleep with everyone because that’s just his ‘thing’
wears glasses 2 read, but hates them w a passion so he tries not to use them when he’s in public bc she doesn’t wanna get made fun of??
extremely into netflix n chill……. yikes
can cook like a five star chef?? yet he rarely cooks for himself.
a little guarded at first but once those walls are down, and he can trust you, he considers you a friend.
the people he trusts fully though?? shit, he’d do anything and everything for.. like he’d even take a bullet for them ??
dom af & proud.
also might be slightly addicted to sex but he tries to keep that on the dl… ( sIKE hes a hOE )
plays video games whenever he gets the chance, reads comic books and is a marvel & dc hoe.. honestly.
acts like he’s okay all of the time even if he’s not because he doesn’t want to burden people with his problems, they have enough to deal w as it is.
fluent in quite a few languages.
knows how to hack into people’s things or places and does that sometimes whenever he’s bored & looking for something 2 do ??
a burnt cupcake who’s trying
STATS
BASICS
Full Name: Kaden James Walker. Nickname(s): Kade, Walker. Age: Twenty-nine. Date of Birth: October 31st. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio. Place of Birth: Oakland, California. Ethnicity: African American. Nationality: African American. Gender: Male. Sexual Orientation: Bisexual. Romantic Orientation: Bisexual. Religion: N/A. Occupation: Rent-A-Thug.. Language(s) Spoken: Spanish, French, Welsh, German, Gaelic, Russian, Italian & Japanese. Accent: None.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Face Claim: Michael B. Jordan. Hair Color: Brown. Eye Color: Brown.. Height: 6′ 2″. Weight: 224 lbs. Build: Fit.. Tattoos:  X, X, X, X ( ribs only ), X ( back of left calf ), X. Piercings: None.
PERSONALITY
Label: The Crimson. Positive Traits: Intelligent, Charming, Adventurous. Negative Traits: Hedonistic, Flirtatious, Reckless. Fears: Arachnophobia & Claustrophobia. Hobbies: Playing video games, drinking, partying, riding motorcycles / atvs, boxing, reading comic books, watching old movies, cooking. Quirks: Believes in karma, fights for animals rights, fights for gender & marriage equality, owns an outrageous amount of shoes, drinks lots of water, works out once a day, fidgets constantly, knows how to code websites, knows a lot of useless trivia.
FAMILY
Father: Jason Walker. ( deceased. ) Mother: Marshay Walker. ( deceased. ) Sibling(s): Younger sister. ( one year younger / alive. ) Pet(s): One husky named Balto and one Persian tuxedo cat named Lucifer. Financial Status: Wealthy.
TESTS
Myers-Briggs: ENTP-A Enneagram: Type 8 ( The Challenger. ) Temperament: Sanguine. Hogwarts House: Slytherin.
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lancekoganee · 8 years ago
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i don’t usually do these but why the heck not. i was tagged by @lovelylangst and @fictionismynationality
leggo.
LAST… [1] drink: kroger brand sparkling water aka loml [2] phone call: my mother probably [3] text message: my ride or die bff krishi [4] song you listened to: love by lana del rey which is my fave rn [5] time you cried: this very moment. jk, last night when i learned bendydict cucumber is voicing the grinch in a 2018 animated grinch movie
HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nah [7] been cheated on: nopp [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yahhhhh [9] lost someone special: ye [10] been depressed: u say that like it’s past tense. [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no im small
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: [12] gold [13] green [14] red
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yepp [16] fallen out of love: i haven’t been in love im smaLl [17] laughed until you cried: every time i laugh i tear up [18] found out someone was talking about you: ive found out that ppl talk about me but in a good way. before this year tho.... [19] met someone who changed you: probably  [20] found out who your true friends are: i mean. i love them all  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i don’t have a fb im not old
GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: ^^. if we’re going tumblr, on my main i have like 20 ppl i know irl its th worsti have to contain myself [23] do you have any pets: 2 cats, a good dog, and 2 african dwarf frogs [24] do you want to change your name: no im good w mary [25] what did you do for your last birthday: had a lil part and we played cards against humanity and yelled about captain america [26] what time did you wake up: 12:20 pm [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: crying over 1d watching vines [28] name something you cannot wait for: vld season 3! bitch! and harry styles solo album! and beauty and the beast! and spider-man homecoming! and DUNKIRK!!!!!!!!! [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 5 minutes ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: less bored. more fun things. i wish i was an EXTROVERT w no anxiety and good skin. [31] what are you listening to right now: some youtube playlist. some weird song w selena gomez in it is playing [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: prob [33] something that is getting on your nerves: my SKIN it makes me crave death [34] most visited website: tumblr. ao3. youtube. webkinz (tile towers is my fave ::// ) [35] elementary: boring. i was ugly. [36] high school: sophmore! [37] college: gonna go but idfk where !!! [38] hair color: ugly. dirty blonde/brown. makes my eyes not-pretty [39] long or short hair: a lil longer than shoulders bc im growin it out [40] do you have a crush on someone: probably. idk what feelings are [41] what do you like about yourself: iiiii feel dumb and too shy but rly ppl find me intimidating which is cool. i also like being gay that’s fun [42] piercings: im weak [43]blood type: idk but it’s dumb and doesn’t have enough platelets and i bleed like u would not believe. [44] nickname: murray. snayle. gaywad. mare-bare. pls just call me mary [45] relationship status: single :) [46] zodiac sign: aquarius [47] pronouns: she/her. or any idc [48] fav tv show: scrubs voltron himym x-files parks and rec futurama [49] tattoos: i have like 5 planned [50] right or left hand: right aka correct
FIRST… [51] surgery: almost but nopee [52] piercing: nada [53] best friend: KRISHI my angel. also gayathri my spouse and the love of my life [54] sport: yikes [55] vacation: hilton head island for family probably.  [56] pair of trainers: idk? that was 16 years ago idr that shit
RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: sour gummies aka my fuel [58] drinking: water. stay hydrated, kids! [59] i’m about to: find my chapstick im dyign [60] listening to: now it’s what do i know by ed sheeran [61] waiting for: a heccin text back [62] want: to flash forward to being older and living a real life [63] get married: YES im gonna have the biggest, gayest wedding. [64] career: makeup artist? marine biologist? social worker? i put fashion merchandiser on my psat but y’all. i have no idea
WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs when they’re shorter [66] lips or eyes: lips so there is something to kiss [67] shorter or taller: SHORTER. shorter. s h o r t e r. [68] older or younger: idc. not too old, not too young (relative to me) [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms! big arms are my faves whenever i see big arms i cry (that sounds... rly weird oops) [71] sensitive or loud: loud to make up for my ghosting [72] hook up or relationship: hook ups leading to relationship. [73] troublemaker or hesitant: i have never done anything wrong in my life
HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nah [75] drank hard liquor? yee  [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? always  [77] turned someone down: ye it sucks [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? v lowkey [80] had your own heart broken? not like. BROKEN but ive had a :( moment or 2 relationship wise [81] been arrested? nope im a good egg [82] cried when someone died? me cat when i was 8 [83] fallen for a friend? all of them
DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? yep! :) [85] miracles? eh [86] love at first sight? ***infatuation at first sight [87] Santa Claus? ::::::((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( [88] kiss on the first date? mhm [89] angels? not rly
OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: krishi and gayathri and autumn [91] eye color: hazel [92] favorite movie: ANASTASIA also 1d: this is us (an iconic masterpiece)
i don’t know 25 people. i know 3? so lmao i tag @k1ancer and @chris-evans-plz-twerk-4-me and @adhdklunk (even tho it’s been 10 years since we spoke sorry mel)
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ohaidacia-blog · 8 years ago
Text
My birth story. 4 months later
35 weeks and 1 day. ONE DAY.
I woke up that day feeling pretty crappy and not crappy because I was having laboring pains or anything. Crappy because the Friday before I was told I was 4 centimeters dilated and to be "admitted" I had to be 5. My doctor told me I was 4 centimeters, told me she could feel one of my twins head through the bag of water, tried to stretch me just a tad be wider and even called Labor & Delivery to see if I could come in a have my twins. No luck. I went home overemotional and in very much pain. I had no energy or even cared to try to walk up stairs, have sex or any of those other things proven to pick up labor. My contractions were consistently at 4-5 minutes or 5-7 minutes apart but I always knew what to do (drink lots and lots of water) so I ignored it. Plus, with as many times that David and I went to L&D and they stopped the contractions and told me I was "too early" I just slept through them that night, after a hot shower to ease the pain, of course.
Here we are, Saturday. I was 35 weeks and 1 day. I woke up feeling the exact same way I went to sleep, i.e. contractions, exhausted, tired of being pregnant. My contractions had continued all through the night and into the morning. David and I were just lounging around the house as we usually do on Saturdays. Around 1 pm, something did not feel right. My water did not break or anything for cause of concern, but I just did not feel good. I called my advice nurse, texted my mom and got ready. I was instructed to go into L&D. Hearing this for the fourth time did not make me jump for joy. In the past, me and my husband would go in and they would load me with fluids, check my cervix and send me home, all within 5-8 hours. Hearing that, I casually finished my slice of pizza and packed my puppy, Minnie. Nothing too fast and dramatic, I was dreading this hour drive and to be told to go back home.
Two hours later, after making a pit stop for ice chips (mmmmm) and dropping of my puppy at the in laws, we had arrived. I did not feel like I was in labor, if anything my contractions were the same 4-5 minutes and honestly not even hurting me. I was content. We got up to the third floor of Holy Cross Hospital and I check in. Nonchalantly giving the receptionist all my information (because I know the drill by now, it's the fourth time) and then I sit in the waiting room. There is about three other laboring patients in the lobby. I was, obviously, the biggest (being pregnant with twins and all) but I didn't think I was the one in most pain and laboring as bad as the others. Looking around the room I saw this sign that read "patients will be called back based on urgency and number of beds available". In my mind, I read "Dacia will be called back last". I sat there and watched the Olympic recap and probably some politics and then, my name was called. What? 
Being called back so fast, and before the others who looked to be more in pain to me, was a total shock. And to be honest, those lady looked just as shocked as I was. Was it because I was 35 weeks with twins? I felt totally fine.
Walking back into triage was something I remembered. I asked my nurse, who I'd been with about three out of the four times now, if I needed to pee in a cup because I had been saving it for this exact moment. She told me "no". That was something new. I got to my room and stripped down, not needing to be told and I took off everything except my socks and had the gown opened to the back. A few nurses who noticed me came in and had quick conversations. As I've stated before this was my fourth visit and also, to add, my aunt had worked in triage and L&D at Holy Cross Hospital and my mom had delivered 7/8 o f her kids here. The last name Epps is not as common as you think. My husband loved being known and having connects, it made him feel important and almost like a celebrity. For me, this was normal everywhere I went.
Anyway, back to being butt naked in a gown in triage. I was put on the monitor, as usual, to monitor the babies movements and contractions. Everything was normal. The only difference between this time and the last time was how much further along I was. That’s all I needed, apparently. My nurse Michelle pulled back the curtain and said "are you ready to have these twins?!" with such a huge smile on her face. Happiest day of my life.
I remember them telling me how much longer it would be until someone would come wheel me into L&D and how many people were in front of me for C-section. It all hit me right there. I was so anxious to have these babies out of me that I had never mentally thought about how they'd  come out or just delivery day period. I had so many emotions. Excited because I'd meet my little men who had been kicking my ass these 8 months, nervous about having my first major surgery, curious if the babies would need assistance breathing and if they would be big enough to come home with us.
Getting our room in L&D was the most surreal part. We had never gotten this far yet. David was handed some scrubs and nurse after nurse came in to tell me about my wait time and prep me for my epidural. After that happened, we waited. I was handed my hair cover and was told to take all my piercings and jewelry off and then wheeled away. My husband waited outside the operation room and waited for the O.K. to come in. I remember the operation room being so bright and cold, I was literally shivering. There was music playing and lots of chit-chat. The vibe was AMAZING, saying I was about to get cut open and risk my life for my babies. Nothing too serious because I was not a serious person. Many nurses introduced themselves but I was half listening because I was wondering "where is my husband?". There was team Baby A and team Baby B, double the nurses. Plus there were the surgeons and a student. This was only his second C-section… yikes. I remember thinking to myself that my twins would go in the books for him.
When they were about to get started someone said "where's dad?" I will forever thank that person because I'm sure I was seconds away from being cut open. He came in with the biggest smile on his face and sat right beside my head. We had  some weird side conversation, because what else do you talk about when you're being cut open and about to become parents?  I was mostly chatty because I did not know if I was going to feel a lot of pain or what. That conversation only lasted about 1 minute because the next thing we heard was "here comes Baby A" and a cry.  The cutest newborn cry. I instantly cried, and I don't know why because stuff like that doesn't bring me to tears. I guess its some type of chemical thing when becoming a parent because David cried during our first ultrasound at 8 weeks hearing the heartbeat and discovering we were having twins and I cried as a baby gets pulled out of me. Anyway, next thing I heard was a doctor asking David if he wanted to cut the cord and so he did. Seconds later, Baby B was pulled out and brought into this world. August 27th, 2016 at 9:01 and 9:02 pm.
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 David had the option to stay with me or go with the twins and I told him, yes told him, because we had had this conversation numerous of times, that he must go with the twins. Looking back, he wished he would have stayed because my surgery went downhill. While the boys were getting cleaned and bathed, I was bleeding out on the table for two straight hours. I remember receiving two more blood transfusions while I was in and out of consciousness. I remember a surgeon yell out "Mrs. Swanson, if we cant get your uterus to contract and the blood to stop we will have to remove your uterus". You know I was that much out of it because I said "okay" knowing damn well that I wanted more kids. I was hemorrhaging, bad. My uterus was so overstretched because of the two 5 lb. 5 oz. babies that had just came out of me and I am only 5 feet and 115 lbs. myself. I started to feel a lot and apparently starting moving my legs and becoming fidgety and the anesthesiologist  continue to dose me up with more and more medicine. Eventually I would be out cold for the rest of the surgery and eventually the rest of the night.
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I don't remember much after the last dose of medicine that went down my spine, other than the fact that it was cold going into my spine. I don’t remember being wheeled back into my room, I don't remember being greeted by my husband or seeing my babies. Periodically through the night I recall a number of nurses surrounding my bed trying to wake me. I now know (because my husband told me)that they were asking me a series of questions, such as who I was and where I lived. I recall answering these questions but maybe it was in my head because I never opened my mouth or even my eyes. I remember hearing my husbands voice and answering him, but that never happened either.  I was shivering uncontrollable to where there was about five heated blankets on me. The nurses came in like clockwork to push on my stomach and check my bleeding. It honestly felt like they came in every hour but it was every 15 minutes and progressively got further apart. I was asleep from the birth of my babies until 10 am the next morning.
 When the next morning rolled along, I had no clue about how unresponsive I was and how I had worried all my nurses and my husband. I had no clue where my babies where and even what time of day it was. How long had I been asleep? I called my husband over who had been sleeping in the couch on the other side of the room.  I was very weak, I threw something at him to get his attention because I couldn't yell. He explained how I was practically out cold and unresponsive to the nurses, what happened during surgery and that the twins are perfectly healthy and in the nursery so that I could rest. Meanwhile, while he was explaining this I was dosing in and out. I knew I had to get myself together in order to see my babies because I figured they would not give me them being drugged up and falling asleep mid… everything. So when the next nurse walked in I sat up straight and tried to pretend everything was good. Pretend I was completely responsive. Pretend I was not still dosed up on whatever. Just pretend. The nurse came in with the doctor and I was able to drink water and juice. The doctor then told me how much I worried the team last night and that "it's highly recommended to not get pregnant for another year or so". Done deal.
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It was about 10:30am when I finally got to see my babies. Almost 14 hours the next day after delivery. I was still dosing off but I had my husband watch me and stay by my side. I remember looking at them and saying "they are so perfect" but maybe it was in my mind again. They had so much hair, great complexion and were swaddled so snug, it was amazing!  They looked just like my husband. Even better, they were healthy and breathing on their own (No NICU!) Everything I went through was worth it (although I didn't know how much pain I was in because I was still on a lot of the medication from the night before).Shortly after I got to hold them for the first time, we were all wheeled upstairs to the maternity suites. There my road to recovery would begin, and it would be a bumpy road.
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alextheantichrist-blog · 6 years ago
Text
Danielle
John was at his first munch, which was a meeting for people interested in kink. He sipped his beer as he saw the waitresses of the pub rush past him. Animated conversations were going on around him, but he didn't find them to be of any interest. He was too young to worry about mortgages. He didn't even have a job.
John took out his phone and started swiping through different social media apps.
"You look bored," came a voice.
John looked up to see a young woman with purple hair, piercings and tattoos. She was wearing a black dress and had cat's eye glasses on.
"What makes you think that?"
"You're on your phone. Whenever I see someone on their phone at a munch, I can tell they're bored."
"I guess you're right. This is my first munch and I'm not really feeling it."
"Understandable. It can be quite a strange and overwhelming experience for people. Wanna come over to my table?"
"Sure."
John got up and followed her to another table full of people. They sat down beside each other.
"I forgot to introduce myself," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Danielle."
"John," he replied, shaking it.
"Nice to meet you, John."
"Nice to meet you, too."
"So, what brought you here?"
"Well, I used to do kinky stuff with my girlfriend. We were the only ones in our friend group who did that kind of stuff. After she broke up with me, I stopped doing it. It's been three years since then. Kink used to be a big part of my life and I've recently started missing it. A friend told me about this event and I thought I would go and try to meet new people."
"Cool. Are you a dom or a sub?"
"Dom. I like to be dominant in bed. I'm pretty submissive in everyday life, so I like to have power and control when I can."
"Cool. Me, too. I enjoy doing evil things to people. It's a lot of fun."
John laughed. "I know, right?"
"What kinds of stuff did you and your girlfriend do, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Oh, spanking, hair pulling, scratching, biting, some whips, a bit of bondage."
"Okay, so pretty basic stuff."
"Yeah. We were pretty vanilla when it came to kink."
Him and Danielle both laughed.
"That's okay," replied Danielle. "Everybody's gotta start somewhere."
"That's true."
"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"
"Heavy metal, mostly."
"Oh, have you heard of Sunn O)))? They're really good. I went to their concert."
"I listened to them a bit. I'm not that into doom metal."
"It was great seeing them live. Their concert was at an abandoned power plant. I felt my whole body vibrate with every note they played. My hands were completely numb after the concert. It was quite an experience."
"Really? That sounds cool. I should check them out sometime."
"You should. They're great. So what kind of bands do you listen to?"
"Mostly melodic death metal. Arch Enemy, Amon Amarth, old In Flames, that kind of stuff."
"Oh, nice. Been to any concerts lately?"
"Yeah. I was at the Black Dahlia Murder concert a few weeks ago. That was the first time I entered a mosh pit, and I think it will be the last. One guy accidentally elbowed me in the face and my nose started bleeding."
"Yikes. Yeah. Moshing isn't for everybody."
"I know, right? You're pretty cool."
"You're quite cool yourself."
"Wanna keep in touch?"
"Sure. I can give you my phone number. I'm usually available to text."
"Sounds good. Maybe we can hang out sometime and have coffee."
"I would like that."
"It's good to see you again," John said, sipping his coffee.
"It's good to see you, too," replied Danielle.
"You're looking very beautiful, as always."
"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."
"You're welcome."
"I'm debating whether I should get something. I haven't had breakfast yet."
"Just get something. Why do you need to debate?"
"Well, the only thing I can get here is a sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes and a hash brown. Asking for that is quite a pain for the staff, because it's a special order. They don't have it on the menu."
"Oh, are you vegetarian?"
"Vegan, actually. It can be quite annoying at times, but I do it for the animals."
"Oh, okay." John stared at the BLT he had already bitten into.
Danielle laughed. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind people eating meat in front of me."
"That's good. I forgot to ask, but what do you do for work?"
"I'm actually on disability. I have this rare medical condition that gives me quite a lot of pain sometimes and interrupts my sleep, so I can't work. I also have ADHD and depression, which don't help things."
"Really? I have autism and depression. It can be quite a bitch sometimes."
"Oh, wow, I didn't know. I've met quite a few people with autism, and they've all been quite awesome."
"Yeah, it's not that bad for me. I'm just socially awkward at times. I have trouble picking up on subtle social cues."
"Ah, I see. I just have trouble concentrating and am always late for things. It's the reason why I was late today, actually."
"Oh, really? I was wondering about that."
"Yeah, it's not just you. I'm late for everyone. It annoys some people."
"I'm okay with it. It's worth waiting for you."
"Aw. You're so nice."
"Thanks. Anyway, what have you been up to?"
"I've been watching a bunch of old horror movies, actually."
"Oh, nice. What's your favourite?"
"Alien. I love the claustrophobic feel and the art design."
"That's a good one. Mine's Hellraiser. I'm a huge fan of Lovecraft, so I love the Lovecraftian atmosphere that Hellraiser gives off."
"That is also a good pick."
"I didn't know you also liked horror movies. That's one more thing we have in common. Huzzah!"
Danielle laughed. "My partner got me into them. He's a huge horror fanatic."
"Oh, cool. How long have you two been together?"
"Two years."
John whistled. "That's a long time."
"Yup. We live together and everything."
"Nice. The longest relationship I had was seven months."
"That's not bad. That was a while ago, right?"
"Yeah. Three years ago. I kinda miss having a girlfriend, but also kinda not. I have ways of dealing with it now."
"Oh, really? What are those ways?"
John's face turned red. "Um... I hire escorts."
"Oh, cool. I know quite a few people who are sex workers. You're the first person I've met who actually hires them."
John blew out of sigh of relief. "I'm glad you're cool with that. I found there's a lot of stigma behind hiring escorts."
"Yeah. It's stupid. As long as it involves two consenting adults, what does it matter if money is exchanged? The laws and social norms around this are just silly."
"I totally agree. Sex work should be legalized. I thought Canada was supposed to be progressive. I'm surprised at how conservative they are when it comes to sex work."
"Yeah. Canada's on the right track, but it still has a long way to go."
"Agreed. Do you have anything planned for tonight?"
"Nothing much. Just more horror movies. You?"
"I have a movie event at a friend's house. I'm part of this anime group that meets regularly at a person's house. I found them online. I'm quite enjoying it so far."
"Oh, nice. I never got into anime."
"I used to watch it as a kid, but I didn't get really into it until I joined this group."
"Cool."
This is the last conversation John had with Danielle over text.
John
Hey Danielle. How's it going?
Danielle
Not too bad. Yourself?
John
I'm not doing too well. I just got kicked out of the anime club.
Danielle
Oh, no. I'm so sorry. What happened?
John
The guy whose house I was at said I was flirting with his girlfriend. I didn't even realize.
Danielle
Well, you do seem to flirt with women quite a bit. What kinds of things did you say?
John
Just my standard stuff. You're looking very beautiful today. That dress looks good on you. That kind of stuff.
Danielle
Ouch. Yeah. You should be careful about that. I don't mind you being flirty with me because I know you mean well, but others might take it the wrong way.
John
I understand that, but I don't think it was fair for him to just kick me out. He should've given me a warning first.
Danielle
I disagree. What you were doing was a huge red flag. He was just being careful. I'm sure he's dealt with people who have made women uncomfortable before.
John
I still think he should've talked to me first.
Danielle
Then we will have to agree to disagree.
John
So you're taking his side now? I thought you were my best friend.
Danielle
I'm not taking anyone's side. Besides, I don't see you as a best friend. We're not even that close. We've only known each other for a few months. We may have talked about sensitive topics, but that doesn't make us best friends.
John
I didn't know you felt that way.
Danielle
Well, now you do.
John
Well, I'm still angry at them. Not only my friend, but also his girlfriend. If I was making her uncomfortable, she should've said something. It's their fault, not mine.
Danielle
That's not how it works, John. She probably just didn't want to make a fuss. Women are conditioned to keep quiet about these kinds of things. There have been women killed over less.
John
How am I supposed to know they're uncomfortable if they don't tell me?
Danielle
You pick up on the subtle social cues.
John
But I have autism. I have trouble with that.
Danielle
Now you're just making excuses.
John
It's not an excuse. It's an explanation. I know now what I did was wrong. I just wish people wouldn't be so harsh on me.
Danielle
John, this conversation is making me really uncomfortable. I think we should stop being friends.
John
What do you mean?
Danielle
Goodbye, John. Hopefully you can learn from this.
John
Oh, so I'm the creep now. Gotcha.
John was standing the subway platform.
I'm worthless, he thought. I don't deserve to be close to anyone. I'm a stupid, worthless failure and a horrible person. I deserve to die. I'm gonna jump in front of the next train that comes.
As the train neared the platform, John steeled himself up. As he went closer and closer, his heart began to race and he began to feel a coldness in his chest. His hands began to shake. Thoughts of death clouded his mind.
I can't do this, he thought as the train passed.
With tears in his eyes, John went to one of the crisis intercoms and pressed the big red button.
"Hello," came the voice from the intercom. "What is your emergency?"
"I wanna kill myself."
"Okay, we will have someone with you in a minute."
John sat and waited on one of the red benches, alone.
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