#also my computer might explode if i try getting it

[dolliezsundae]

I have always had this Very persistent Itch to run a cult, and to scratch said itch, i could play Cult of the lamb.. Except i am Horrible at video games. for as much as i love them, and enjoy playing them, i am really bad. so i would die so many times that dumb narinder or whatever wouldnt want me to be his disciple anymore.

[keeps-ache]

things have been learned 👍 (slight audio warning !)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm starting my replay of DA2 and can I just say, I like the character creator well enough.....but I am personally insulted and offended that it doesn't give me the option to let my male Hawke wear make up.

Edgar Hawke is a man who wears the same smudged eyeliner all week, and you can tell what kind of day he's had by how much it's smeared all over his face. He's not great at putting it on but do you think he cares?? It's an integral part of his character and very important to ME.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent misc pictures

[loveriotss]

HEY CUTIE ⸻ touya todoroki

INCLUDES — gn! reader, streamer! au, headcannons, drabbles, smau, fluff, crack, slightly suggestive, around 2k words WARNINGS — dabi and his chat making 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 jokes read at your own risk, also the pink color used for the y/n's username doesn't depict gender or anything i just wanted to use it. TAGS — @bbluefllame, @seneon

main masterlist — mha masterlist ༊*·˚

[ cutiepatootien/n — is your username. i added n/n (nickname) at the end instead of y/n because we gotta be mysterious. you can use whatever you want for your n/n. ]

streamer! dabi who created his account because toga wanted a partner to play roblox with her on stream.

the chat was buzzing with excitement, a sea of emojis, animated stickers and exclamation points flowing through the live stream. toga himiko, spinning around in her pink gaming chair with her signature grin plastered across her face. she ceased her spinning, banging her palms onto the desk as she leaned into the camera. her hair was styled in her usual wild, chaotic fashion, and her eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and anticipation.

"hello my lovelies! welcome back to my channel!" she exclaimed, her voice full of energy. "today’s going to be a blast because i’ve got a special guest joining me!"

the chat exploded with curiosity and speculation. who could it be?

toga's grin widened. "presenting my one and only grumpy roommate, who i’ve bribed with a month of doing his chores to do this with me, dabi!”

a wave of hype flooded the chat, and viewers eagerly waited for this ‘dabi’ to make his entrance. the screen flickered for a moment before his webcam feed appeared. he leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed yet slightly bored, a stark contrast to toga’s exuberance. his room was quite dark, the only way you could make out his face was through the glow of his monitors. his dark hair was tousled and his smirk was casual.

itscandy: woah didn’t know your roommate was a hottie 😻 togasgirlfriend: himiko is hotter 🙄 froggypop: why he look suspiciuroisu  himikoshairclip: the editors are gonna have fun with this stream bunnyrabbit: I WANT BOAF ‼️

"hey, everyone," dabi started, his voice deep and slightly scratchy. he gave a lazy wave to the camera. "let’s get this over with."

toga laughed, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "stop trying to be nonchalant, show some energy!” she exclaimed, a bit too close to her mic which made dabi slightly wince and adjust his headphones. “we’re going to have so much fun! today, we’re diving into a horror game on roblox! hope you’re ready to get scared!"

dabi raised an eyebrow. "horror, huh? sounds like it might be a good laugh."

"alright, let’s do this!" toga said, clicking on the game. the screen transitioned to the game’s loading screen, and the chat erupted with a flurry of messages, many were curious about dabi and how he would handle the scares. 

"okay so the goal is to go through as many doors as we can while surviving the monsters," toga explained, her tone taking on a serious note. "stick with me and don’t go running off by yourself."

dabi nodded, his expression shifting into one of mild amusement. "yes ma’am, lead the way."

streamer! dabi who ended up enjoying the games a lot and decided to start doing some solo streams.

dabi sat in front of his gaming setup, the glow of his computer monitor illuminating his sharp features in the dimly lit room.

he hit the “go live” button and watched as the chat box began to fill with greetings and excited comments from his growing fanbase. dabi’s expression softened, a rare hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. the anticipation in the chat was palpable. he took a moment to compose himself, then looked directly into the camera.

“hey, everyone. dabi here,” he said, his voice a smooth, controlled monotone. “you may know me as the hot and better roommate from toga's roblox stream a few days ago." he leaned back into his chair, tilting his head slightly as he scanned the chat box. "i wanted to do a stream of my own, just for fun. so tonight, I’m diving into one of the scariest horror games out there. don't piss you pants, yeah?”

streamer! dabi who gained a huge following quite quickly. his name popping up on every platform and eventually, he catches your attention.

"2 am, huh?" dabi says, finally clicking out of the game he had chosen to play for tonight, staring at his small desk clock. it had been over 3 hours since he first started the stream. he stretched his body slightly, slight muscles flexing under the shirt he wore as he leaned closer to the camera, checking himself out. "fuck chat, i can see my roots." he says, ruffling up his hair slightly.

chococat donated $30

back away from the camera youre making me nervous

loverriots donated $15

you look hot either way king

menkisser donated $50

DYE MY HAIR WITH ME STREAM WHEN???

he grinned at the donations, leaning back into his chair and lighting up a cigarette as he scanned the chat box. "maybe i should do one..this white hair makes me feel old."

cutiepatootien/n donated $5

i didn’t know you had dyed hair, it really suits you

dabi's fiery gaze lingered on your donation for a bit too long. he takes a drag from his cigarette before replying. "m'flattered really. interesting name you got there by the way".

cutiepatootien/n: oh my god my friends changed it as a joke but now i can’t reset it 😭

he grinned at your response, leaning closer slightly, his piercings gleaming from the light of his monitor. "i think it suits you, cutie".

dabislefttoe: GAH DAMN juicebox: if i close my eyes i can pretend he’s saying that to me #staydelulu ❤️ ihateorangecandy: n/n won joinmystreamforfreerobux: i was orginally here to promote this bot but heyyy 😻 alphawolf: that’s it im getting you pregnant

streamer! dabi who's mind lingers on you for too long, even after the stream has ended. he find's himself getting too silly and clicking on your twitch profile.

it's been two hours since dabi clicked on your social links from your twitch profile. he shamelessly scrolled through your instagram and tiktok, scanning each picture and video, carefully making sure he that he doesn't accidentally like anything. he's so engrossed in this that he doesn't even notice when his blonde roommate enters the room and stands behind him, staring at his screen.

"they're cute," toga says, one hand on the arm of his chair while the other one rests on his desk. "yeah.." dabi mindlessly replies before snapping his head to look at her, quickly closing his tabs. "what the fuck toga i told you to knock before coming in" he sneers at her, clearly annoyed.

"oh come on, i would've busted down the door by how loudly i was knocking," she replies, spinning around and slumping herself on his bed "but you were too busy stalking your new crush! who are they by the way? tell me the deets!" she says, excitedly kicking her feet.

"it's none of your business, get lost," he mumbles, grabbing a drink from his mini fridge, snapping it open with his middle finger and taking a sip.

toga skips over to his desk, snagging a drink for herself which earns her a scowl from dabi, before she speaks, "mhm sure! let me know if your loser ass needs some advice."

"get out."

streamer! dabi who decides to give in to his chat's requests and go live while dyeing his hair.

dabi’s bathroom was lit up by the harsh, overhead fluorescent lights. he was leaning over the sink, one hand gripping a box of black hair dye and the other clutching a pair of disposable gloves. the mirror was fogged up from the hot water he’d run earlier, but the camera in front of him was crystal clear, broadcasting his every move to a growing audience.

“hey degenerates, what's ip?” dabi’s voice crackled with a hint of amusement as he adjusted the camera angle. “welcome to the chaos. you all wanted me to touch up my roots on stream for whatever freaky reason so, here we are—dyeing my hair live.”

he chuckled, the sound mingling with the chatter of his chat. The screen was a whirlwind of comments, emojis, and questions. before he did anything, he looked down at his shirt pondering for a moment. "i should take this off right? don't want it to get stained or anything" he says nonchalantly as he pulls it over his head.

now some might think this was unnecessary, i mean — taking off his black shirt because he was scared it was going to get stained with black dye? it almost seemed like he had done it on purpose..but the chat didn't seem to care.

touyaslefttit: the first thing i look at in a man is his heart. the fact that his tits are in front of his heart is NOT MY FAULT hellokittylvr: GIRL DINNER 😻😻 pookieschmookie: no guillotine could take away the head im about to give him ilovefictionalmen: i wanna take a shower with him I MEAN i wanna keep him as a pet I MEAN loverriots: very demure shigaraki: 🍅🍅🍅

he tossed his shirt aside, constantly eyeing the screen and reading the chat box and donations carefully as he put on his gloves and squeezed dye into a bowl.

cutiepatootien/n donated $10

just opened the stream and the first thing i see is your chest 😓 not complaining tho 🙏🙏

dabi immediately looks down, keeping his eyes on the dye. "i can show you more than my chest cutie" he says boldly, trying to hide the stupid smirk on his face. [a/n: fake nonchalant dreadhead!! i see him chalanting!!]

streamer! dabi who was waiting for you to join his stream.

streamer! dabi who shamelessly flirts with you on stream, causing many fans to talk about you and try to speculate who this 'cutie' could be.

"so their name is y/n!" toga yells into dabi's ear. she was once again in his room, uninvited, staring at him with sparkly and excited eyes. she had somehow found out your name and was now shoving her phone which had twitter open in his face. the tweets were from his viewers, all about who this 'cutie' could be.

dabi groans. yeah he was the one who drew attention to you but, uh oh! he's now facing the consequences of his own actions as he stares at your account which is now on private. you were smart and new it was best to keep your socials private and out of view from any jealous or crazy fans dabi might have.

"just send them a follow request if you wanna see them so bad!" toga says, getting slightly impatient and snatching dabi's phone out of his hand and speed walking away. "TOGA STOP DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" he yells as he chases her. "you're too much of a pussy dabi, you have a crush and you should confess!" she says, tossing the phone back to dabi. he hurriedly grabs it and stares at the screen in shock.

there your account was..now public? no. he was following it.

"you actually sent them a follow request?" he says, glaring at the blonde who just flashes him a cheeky smile. "but they accepted right? shoot your shot!"

"i'm going to kick you out of my house."

streamer! dabi who spends a lot of time with you floating around in his mind and eventually musters up the courage to text you.

NOTE — i fear i yapped too much for this one, dabi having a silly internet crush is just so cutesy to me. did you guys notice me and shigaraki sneaking into this fic i thought it was funny. might make this into a series?? idk.

©loveriotss — all rights reserved to me. please don’t try to copy/steal my work. please do not use any of my ideas/translate my work without my permission.

[thewadapan]

Insane that the last Team Fortress 2 comic came out, and perhaps more insane is how effectively it resolves the themes of the story, considering the whole thing spun out of some silly gag comics for a first person shooter, which had a bunch of lore back-ported onto it, with this particular issue having spent nearly eight years in development hell...

I love video games, and I love trying to rationalise the insane logic of how they work using fiction. Or not even to rationalise, just to kind of like... take it at face value? There's a great bit in one of the Team Fortress 2 comics where the mercenaries are going to be fighting an army of robots (in the game's PVE mode) and, at that point in the story, Mann Co. is bankrupt, so they're not getting paid—but they're mercenaries, so why are they fighting? And Ms. Pauling just comes right out and says, "For reasons I can't comprehend or explain, the robots run on piles of money. Destroy them and whatever falls out is yours." Risk of Rain has a similar conceit, where the aliens explode into currency, something that's diegetically acknowledged in the in-game logs.

The comics also deserve serious credit for genuinely pushing the limits of the comic medium, by explicitly using the fact that this is something people are reading on their computers. You see Webtoons currently are doing something similar, optimised for phones with their infinite scrolling. Well, here everything's landscape, and you advance through the comic using the arrow keys or whatever, and there's all these little gags that rely on hiding a speech bubble at first, or tweaking a panel, or doing a jump-cut, which are borderline impossible to replicate in print (the closest thing traditional comics have as a tool is the page-turn, which some writers do use to great effect).

It might just be that Team Fortress 2 was one of the things that heavily informed my sense of humour at a formative age, but I still come back to it and think it's the funniest thing in the world. And a big part of what makes the humour work, for me, is that it is just barely grounded in the real world. When someone gets their hand cut off and it's played for laughs, they've still just had their hand cut off. All the blood and guts is right there to see. Characters like Spy and Ms. Pauling frequently ground the story in these bureaucratic material concerns—like, someone is having to go around burying all the bodies.

Which means that when the story takes something which genuinely started as nothing more than a joke, and uses it for pathos, those beats can actually hit home. The big example is the joke about Spy having sex with Scout's mom, which in the comics morphs into this running thread about Spy probably being Scout's father, which in turn plays into these themes of regret and cycles of violence... and that was obviously never planned from the start, even the early examples in the comics are very much within the realm of plausible deniability, but over time they're clearly like—well, what if that was the case? What then? It's such good yes-anding.

Certain characters—the Pyro and the Engineer—do get pretty short-changed, which I think is mostly because the other characters just lend themselves much better to the extremely dialogue-dense style of comedy. The Engineer spends most of the numbered issues completely sidelined, looking after the Administrator; I mostly played Engineer when I played the game, so I do find that a bit disappointing. I don't think the Sentry Gun even gets a look-in! But still, nine playable characters plus the supporting cast is a lot to keep track of, and I think they chose the right ones to focus on (Scout, Soldier, Spy, Heavy).

Part of what made Team Fortress 2 always appeal to me above and beyond any other first-person shooter was its obvious awareness that the fighting is not, in fact, good, or just, or meaningful, or anything other than a pointlessly cynical greed-fuelled slaughter over nothing. It's just these drab industrial sites and bodies being thrown at one another, on repeat, forever. I think if you want to take a multiplayer game like this and build up a narrative on top of it, it's kind of the only honest approach you can take. Seeing similar stories in this and in RoosterTeeth's Red vs. Blue around the same time left a big impression on me as a teenager.

Contrast Overwatch (of course), which always billed itself as a superhero story, which had clearly-defined good-versus-evil flavour, which purported to depict a global conflict of world-shattering stakes, where every single piece of fucking tie-in media was a saccharine sentimental little snoozefest where characters will say things like "Oh no!" unironically. In Overwatch, the playable characters come from all over the world, they're these collar-tuggingly direct stereotypes, and it's like... wow, the military-industrial complex is so inclusive, you guys! Meanwhile, Team Fortress 2 has stereotypes of its own, but the intent is so completely different. Sniper, Heavy, Demoman, Medic, Spy have these clearly-defined national backgrounds, but they've shed all nationalistic ties, civilized human society would shun them, and now all they can do is kill for money they will never have cause to spend.

And the supporting characters invented for the comic all support this theme of bitter, cynical hate, of pointless bickering and petty feuds. Brothers Redmond and Blutarch turn themselves into monsters trying to outlive each other solely out of spite, not even just to enjoy their lives for as long as possible! When Gray Mann offs them, his characterisation sees their mindless, stupid schemes replaced with cold rationalism, to match the Administrator's own ruthless efficiency, but the substance of their conflict is no different. Wait, is the moral of the Team Fortress 2 comics just... old people bad? Look at the Team Fortress Classic guys...

I don't know. Overwatch was heavily billed on the quality of its worldbuilding and writing and characters (I was always like, what worldbuilding? What writing? What characters?), and like the many, many MCU films which nobody thinks about or talks about or cares about any more, I don't think I've ever seen someone actually talk about that media as art, except to point out its shortcomings. Nobody will remember any of it. Oh god, I just remembered about all the Overwatch porn. Okay, people will remember it, just not for the right reasons.

Meanwhile, I've known people over the last eight years who routinely joked about the final Team Fortress 2 comics never coming out. For something so ancillary, so inessential, to have made such a big impression on people, is something that in this case speaks to its success on a creative level. If anything, I wish it was less of a transmedia narrative, that this was just a single book I could pick up off the shelf and give to someone like "read this!" and that's all they'd need to know. Maybe I should try to compile some sort of reading list, hmm.

[weaselle]

do you realize what a skill it is to take a written order as a table server?

Like, go ahead have a friend say four sentences and you write it at the same time they're saying it and see if you don't stand there SO UNCOMFORTABLY for a very long minute after they're done, scribbling and asking them to repeat parts.

Plus there has to be so much translation and organization, and just.

so basically every server comes up with their own shorthand, their own little code, altho some restaurants do have the servers all use the same shorthand code

And you have to rework your code every restaurant you work at.

So like, if you order a large caesar salad, with light dressing, and chicken on the side with no croutons? i'ma write:

SA L c no crt Lt/D chx s

but the last "s" is gonna have a circle around it like it's inside an "o" because that's how i write "on the side" and it makes it stand out so i don't forget or confuse it and i like the way it kind of looks like a birdseye view of a side of something in a ramekin, like a little pictogram :)

Starting every salad order with the notation for Salad and writing the SA large and making "on side" a symbol lets me scan the ticket for specific info easily, which is also why the slash is between the "light" and the "dressing" -- i usually put a slash for dressing, (like, ranch dressing would be r/D and no dressing would be no/D) because the slash and big D makes them easy to pick out of a block of text and i want to be able to see all the dressings at once clearly with a casual visual sweep when i am, for example, picking up my salads and checking to make sure the right dressings are with the right salads (which you always have to do because salads is more complicated than you'd think and you're likely to catch a wrong dressing several times a night if you check for them before letting your table find out they did it wrong).

Now any of how i write that order might change depending on things. For example one place i worked had a couple chicken salads and the kitchen did the chicken for them, so when you put the ticket in the computer it was helpful for them if you put the chicken instructions before anything else about the salad. I got used to putting it that way on my written ticket as i took the order to help me have an easy time at the computer while i worked there, and stopped doing it in that order when i left that restaurant. But the order is often about helping you tell the computer what to print in the kitchen.

Which you have to be fast at. Most restaurants only have like two or three terminals that servers can use to put in orders, and there's often like 8 servers all trying to use them. So you can't sit there and delete the salad order and re-enter it to put the chicken first and then try to remember how to do the other things you need to do on every order you have, because your coworkers will all be pissed at you, as their collective 15 tables wait extra time for you to get your shit together on the terminal and their tips dwindle down by the minute. You gotta be able to put an order into a terminal like it's about to explode if you don't do it fast enough and let the next server hop on it while you hurry to pour the drinks you're already late bringing out.

There is no time to like stand in line for it, either. If it's in use you go do one of the fifty other things you're already late for, and sometimes that means you go take anther order from a different table. That's dicey, because if you're not careful you'll have tables next to each other getting their food in the opposite order they sat, and that's never great. Or gods forbid the terminal is in use a few times in a row that you try to use it, you'll wind up at a terminal putting in 5 tables at once, which makes things hell on the kitchen staff and takes forever to punch in, all while other servers anxiously wait for you to be done hoping the same thing doesn't happen to them

And it's always some weird confusing choose-your-own-adventure system of menus and screens on there. Like, all the dressings and sauces and toppings might be on one screen and it's a different screen than the one that you punch in the salad on, so you have to flip between them to order salads or whatever. Shit like that ... plus you have to learn a new one every restaurant; this one may work with a series of drop down options, that one may use, like, clickable folder tags around the edges of the screen to go from options list to options list.

I worked this one pizza place where the server terminals were some OLD bullshit and the pizza toppings were just numbers. That you had to memorize. So you could punch them in without doing a where's waldo marathon with the toppings cheat sheet. There were 37 toppings. 41 when i stopped working there, altho to put in Feta wasn't a topping number you had to go to the salad menu and select "add fetta" from there.

I still remember a lot of the topping numbers. Like, if you ordered a large, extra cheese, salami, mushroom, pepperoni, olive and sausage pizza, it would be a

Lg xtr 1, 9, 8, 4, 7, 11

(that's the exact order the pizza guys will put them on the pizza btw, which helps them not miss a topping accidentally -- there's a logic to the order things go on a pizza, and if you write it all out of order it makes it real hard on the pizza makers to keep track of it while they're making it. I think some computer systems now auto-reorder toppings with they print them to the pizza section which is nice, but we used to try to do that for them as servers) I've used some of those numbers ever since. Cheese in particular permanently became "1" on my tickets, because i was already used to it and it's so much quicker than "chz" to write.

Of course the ticket layout is important -- I write the orders for the table as top to bottom = left to right. This means even if the person in the middle insists on ordering first, i write their order halfway down the space. Uh, i mean the top Line is for table number and number of people, and the the top Space is for drinks, and then the next forth of the ticket is for apps, and then the next space is for entrees, and then the last space is for any desserts, add ons, notes, or extras.

So if i say "shall we start with you" to my left but the person straight ahead of me orders their salad first anyway, i'm still writing their salad halfway down the "apps space" near the top of my ticket. Sometimes you have to bring your own note pad, in which case, depending on the vibe of the place, i often try to steal printer paper from the tiny little manager office crammed into some kitchen closet like every restaurant has, and cut their office paper into strips to use, because fuck making me buy my own paper to do this job.

Anyway, if you write your little code in the wrong order on the ticket, it makes it harder to punch it in the terminal quickly, so if I do get it in the wrong order, i do like a little swoopy line from it to the correct position. Say someone waits until everyone is done ordering and then says "oh can i have my chicken on the side of my salad" I have to write "chx os" at the end of the salad notation, but i would do a line like a big parenthesis on its back underneath the salad order, connecting "chx os" to the place i would have preferred to write it.

This way, after taking some dirty dishes from the dining room to the dish pit, checking with the kitchen about my other tables while i'm back there, pouring a drink order because other servers are using both terminals, and checking in with the salad section for a table that's getting impatient... when you're finally at a free terminal entering the order, these lines and you don't type the salad instructions in, get to the end, and have to delete it and type it back in with "chicken on the side" in the right place.

I actually don't know how many other servers use these sort of lines or item order, like i said, every server has to come up with their own code. Me, I draw lines to edit. This kind of thing makes my tickets often turn out with quite a few circles and lines and squiggles and stuff, which all indicate specific things But ideally not, ideally i get it written without all the extra drawing

So as a server, it's easiest to try make sure you can write everything down in the order you use at the computer so you wait til they say the whole thing. Or at least, because it is how your personal code works vs. all the ways people say the things they order, you often let the guest get the whole salad order out before you start to put it on your ticket.

And then you write it in your secret code while listening to their entree order. Which you might write in your little cypher while someone else is telling you their salad order. :)

However you do it, you have to do it all at the speed of speech, which is pretty damn fast.

Anyway, it's just a thing servers do, that i never really see talked about much. We all have our little codes we use to write your orders. And it takes a fair amount of skill.

[lavvylove]

Teaspoon (K. Tsukishima)

RAHHHH HI! I'm so thankful for all the love I got on my Spencer Reid x reader post, it means a lot to me. I lowkey lost all my motivation for writing tbh due to moving and getting ready for college but I'm back! Kei is the loml so I decided to pay him homage. Enjoy!

Content: Kei Tsukishima x F!Reader, Kei Tsukishima is bad at feelings, no use of Y/N cause we are a sophisticated people, the reader is really bad at math (I'm projecting), Fluff, maybe angst but mostly cause Tsukki is kinda emotionally stunted

Holy fuck.

That’s about the only thing Kei can think when he hears his friend talk. He’s never been one to care much for girls. They’re needy and annoying and he hates having to give himself to someone who will just hurt him. Of course, in Kei’s mind being hurt is a certainty. Akiteru showed him that when the man lied to protect his stupid pride, Kei would never forget it. Pride, love, and passion are for idiots who just want to get hurt and Kei wants no part in it. But her? His heart is in his throat the minute he holds her attention.

“Are you fucking serious?” Kei moves his eyes over to the shorter girl, watching how her brow twitches and her lips frown. Suddenly, he can’t even focus on what she’s saying as he feels his blood pressure rise. Why does it keep doing that? She’s not annoying him, he’s not upset, so why does it feel like he might explode whenever she’s around him?

A sigh slipped from his lips. “What?” It was sharper than he meant it, but she always brushed his tone off in a way no one else could. Kei likes that, he likes that she isn’t sensitive to the point where he can just say things and she’ll know he didn’t mean any harm.

Her eyes shift to his and Kei feels his blood pressure spike again. “I’m failing.” She frowned, turning her computer to show him her grade. Kei blinks at it before sitting back. He surprises himself by the way his chest suddenly aches to offer help. It’s like he suddenly can’t fathom the idea of her having a hard time. It’s so painfully stupid that Kei wishes he could shut his feelings off like the vampires in that stupid show she watches.

A sigh left his lips as he looked at her. “What subject?” The way her face lights up makes him want to curl up into a ball at her feet and say anything to incite that response again and again. Kei hates it, it makes him feel stupid and weak but damn he loves it too. The head rush as he watches her whole face shift makes it feel like he might explode.

“Math.” She grunted dejectedly, her head falling onto Kei’s shoulder. Suddenly, Kei can feel every nerve ending in his arm.

“Of course,” he teased, “you’re shit at math.” The way she scowled at him made Kei want to lean in and kiss the expression off her pretty face… no it doesn’t. That would be a ridiculous and stupid idea. Kei sighed softly to interrupt the internal war. “I’ll help you.”

He watched, hating himself for the way her face lit up at the suggestion. “You would?” She looks so hopeful Kei can’t tell if he wants to throw up or pull her close. Which is also stupid, Kei doesn’t hug people. Even Tadashi doesn’t incite this want for physical proximity. Maybe if he didn’t have the emotional range of a teaspoon, he would be able to place this feeling. Maybe he could even ask her out, but instead, he helps her with her math because he’s trying. Kei is trying so hard.

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for November 11, 2024

*flops*

Don't mind me.

Just gonna lie here while I do the Homestuck liveblog thing.

I am going to give a heads up. If my next migraine treatment brings me a bit more back in line, I'll be doing VLogs again. I have a bigger video project planned, but it's not Homestuck related. I'll be posting the updates here though, so you'll still know when I blog an upd8. Then you'll all get to see my haggard and aged face.

We begin with the monthly news upd8 from James. Except no! It is in fact an upd8 from Miles! James fades into the background, and apparently Miles will be our flattering correspondent from now on.

It looks like Miles is putting potential spoilers in the news post, so I might have to be careful in the future. Of course these might be jokes. We'll have to see.

Work continues on the planned [S] page and more Beyond Canon merch. We won't be getting an upd8 for December, but they will be running the Patreon. The next upd8 looks like it might be as late as February.

That's all unfortunate. But I fully support if the team wants to take a well earned holiday.

Upd8

Tavvy has decided to join Yiffy on an adventure. This can't possibly end well. His attempts at being her lackey have so far landed him mostly in trouble. And there's a heap of trouble brewing on the soon to be battlefield.

Yeah that's not happening.

Heh! Harry brought the trail mix.

Oh wow. And oh no!

OH NO!!!

That can't possibly count as Heroic though. Getting sniped while performing a purely tactical role is not a hero's end. Still, Rose is probably glad the kids aren't seeing that.

And button.

Interesting view to cut to.

Again, I don't think this will count as Heroic for anyone. But a lot of people are about to die. And let's not forget, none of the trolls currently outside for the Plot Point are God Tiers. This is bad. This is really bad. This is the kind of moment that calls for an extreme, deus ex machina, like the Plot Point has the potential for.

But we're not getting to see it yet.

Edit: @vriedi reminded me that Meenah is a God Tier. Though this does make me wonder, what happens when a dead God Tier dies?

Orange curtains.

Okay! Legitimately fantastic Psyche Out. They actually got me pretty good there.

Okay, we have a new troll it I think.

gavageCunctation is messaging Vrissy. Though that doesn't necessarily tell us much, except that a new player may have entered the drama.

And they're "negging" Vrissy. So this troll clearly sees themselves as a "player" too.

We've got a "game" that's about to be played. A game being run by a TC. Now Gamzee is dead, but that doesn't mean he didn't setup something before Vriska killed him. Still, it's likely these are two completely new troll kids.

We've got a new AA too. So we might be seeing more troll descendants. After all, they used cloning to kick things off. This troll is typing in purple, but blood typing may not be universal anymore. I do find it interesting that we're continuing the nucleotide pairs though. They could have gone for a different motif. Maybe they're trying to symbolize that these are potential paradox clones for a new session?

AA is apparently our chronic auspistice for this group. And potentially our Seer, though we've had fake-outs on that before.

And our actual cliffhanger ending is this new GC's computer exploding.

So yeah. Something has to happen for a lot of our beloved characters to not bite it. I'm also curious how Rose's vision of future events can come true if Jane has unleashed her weapon. But I mentioned last time that Rose is playing a dangerous game here. I don't think any of our God Tiers are in trouble, and I'm pretty sure the Plot Point is fine.

I'm wondering if this is how Calliope ends up sacrificing themself, if Rose was even correct there. Either way, this a dark ending for the year on a community that's already seen some dark endings.

*Returns to flop*

[jenyifer]

The trainee ep 7 initial reaction

Okay so didn’t do an ep 6 cause idk I watched it but I was so worried about the GL plot I didn’t want to talk about it. However this week I have enough to NEVER watch that part of the ep again as girl who loves girls computer programmer. So I’m only gonna talk about it once.

LETS DO THE FUN PART OF THE PHOTO REVIEW NOW

Awww the butterfly walk lol nothing can go wrong today!!! Ryan fully in his fantasy after last ep and who can blame him. Go on Cinderella take your twirl on the cat walk.

Actually I think Jane has some insight about his reincarnated lover from previous lives hehe Ryan has some split personality thing going on again when hungry. I mean I buy it. We all know no one else can play multiple boys in the same body as Gun. Also I’ll note here for later Jane realizes something is wrong with Ryan right away. 🥹 he wants Ryan to be his good assistant and friend. Just good developments there.

Okay so I get what Jane is saying here. The bottle exploding is hella dangerous. Also Jane knows Ryan has been spaced out lately and is frustrated cause he doesn’t know why. I’d assume that’s why he’s so emotional about this mistake. It’s possible Jane sees himself in Ryan trying not to rely on anyone else? But Jane knows Ryan could have called Pie at the very least. Mistakes happen but this one was a big one.

I also think this is a good point too if Ryan isn’t needed don’t come and mope or make more mistakes. Something has obvs been wrong with him. Now Jane doesn’t phrase this right but he does apologize so good good

Precious Gunnie Tear. I really like this some cause it’s like Ryan is trying to resist at all costs but it boils over and he can’t keep his most inner thoughts in. He heard Jane’s words as a rejection from the team from his usefulness Ryan desperately wants to find his place

One sentence too far but 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 good relationship movement. I don’t know how Jane can interpret this in any other way after their week.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Okay it’s hating time so move on people who want me to kiss ass instead of sharing my actual opinion. I’m only going to do this once hopefully.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I’ve made the mistake of dating a 20 year old when I was 26. You’d think that wouldn’t be too crazy of an age gap. However I was just at a totally different place in my life than her. My thing is 30 years old you think it’s okay to hit on and kiss back a 21 year old you know is in a relationship? You know their brain is still developing? Also do you really think that’s going to be fulfilling. No. She’s a piece of shit. Especially since she is her mentor has been taking the girl out of the office on the company’s dime. Of course she thinks Judy is super woman. Just irresponsible. Judy definitely understands what’s going on with Bah-me and her boyfriend and still decides to do this?! Really…. Okay.

Onto Bah-mee complaining her boyfriend doesn’t talk to her. Nowwwww I’m a computer programmer I have worked with guys who take their work home with them to finish it up at 3am or slept in the office SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY LIKE THEIR JOB. Couldn’t be me but it happens. Idk why Tae is doing all the work in the production room as an intern. I’d be worried he would fuck up put under pressure and that HR might murder me for over working the intern. Set that aside. Guys like Tae work fucking hard. But you know what? Most of them adore their loved ones. Work hard and rent a hot air balloon guys. Work hard take their girl on a 2 week long trip. So does tae not talk? Or is because she has long ago given up. He’s been working she’s seen him working FOR HER TO PLAY HARD. Idk it’s just ugh disgusting. I just think of my coworkers who could never think of cheating yeah they might purposely miss out on their kids stuff but their wives? Oh man I know all their names and where they like to go to dinner etc. EVEN THOUGH sometimes they work like idiots.

I think it’s the best they break up Bah-Meee and Judy can go be evil lesbians and Tae can be a computer guy making lots of money to spoil his future girl with it.

[sailxrmxrs]

so. it's been a few months. OOPS. the creative juices have not been flowing lately BUT WE ARE SO BACK. and getting festive!! today we're decorating for christmas with our beloved infinite blue boys. this one won't be full fics but more so thoughts strung together. throwing my brain at my computer screen and seeing what sticks type beat. shoutout to itsu for the art that made me go insane abt the boys and desperate to write smth again. also shoutout to ito for listening to me ramble my thoughts aloud. always a pleasure to brainrot with u. determined to try and get back to regular writing but we shall see how that goes LMAO. for now enjoy christmas decorating gamers WOOOO.

♡ leo ♡

Leo gets SO excited for Christmas time. He loves seeing the neighbourhood lit up with strings of lights and bright displays of festivity. He's not one to hold back either with his own decorations. Leo has built up a rather eclectic collection of decorations and baubles for his Christmas tree, most of them being movie references or themed. Stormtrooper wearing a Santa hat, a resin hanging decoration made to look like a stack of Lord of the Rings books, that sort of thing. He excitedly asks what sort of fun decorations you own or want to get because he wants the tree to match both of your interests. Definitely surprises you with a few that he thinks you'll like, barely able to contain himself. Leo is bad at keeping presents a surprise. He just loves seeing how excited you get!! Very much the embodiment of golden retriever boyfriend. Always. I can see Leo also having some decorations with sentimental value too. Like this one bauble he painted as a kid that's definitely not the prettiest mix of colours, but it brings back memories of childhood and excitedly trying to stay up late to see Santa leaving presents behind. He LOVES good christmas tradition too. Every Christmas Eve he's watching the same movie (probably Home Alone) with an array of snacks laid out to enjoy. He loves getting to share it all with you too as well as starting new traditions for future Christmases together. For example, this year he dumped strips of coloured paper on the floor, put his Christmas playlist on, and declared you were both making paper chains and paper snowflakes to hang around the house with the tinsel already on display. There's no such thing as too many decorations in Leo's world so I hope you're prepared for your home to look like a festive spirit exploded in every room. Bonus note he also owns sets of festive pyjamas specifically for December and will only wear these. If it's not Christmas related he isn't touching it. Also owns slippers made to look like reindeer.

♡ milo ♡

Milo might just be the worst one to decorate for Christmas with. He's never really been overly fussed about buying decorations or a tree and has literally nothing of the sort at home. He hadn't even considered the thought that you might want to indulge a little and spend a day or two putting up lights or finding a tree for your shared living room. When you do mention the idea to him, Milo is somewhat surprised, but will nod along that sure you can get a tree. Will suggest you buy one of those pop-up trees that comes with the ornaments already attached because it's easier and will only take a couple minutes to set up and put into place. It takes a lot of convincing to sway him away from that idea. He doesn't seem to realise that half the fun is spending hours fighting the tangled mess of lights, or finding that one specific ornament you bought a few years ago just to hang front and centre on the tree. Will only agree to it if you promise to buy him an early Christmas present too. Bribery is a wonderful tool for convincing Milo to join in all the traditional couple behaviours and outings. He'll enjoy it once he's there and sees how much you're enjoying yourself, but will make a point to complain about the weather, or that he's getting bored looking at different variations of the same lights. His boredom is easily cured by a request to get food before heading home. Once you're home, he offers to reach all the tallest parts you can't reach, but not before making a smug joke about how you only asked him to help because you wanted the extra pair of hands. At the end of it all, he'll be stood behind you, arms enclosed around you and pulling your back against his chest. Will rest his chin atop your head and admit that yes, he had a lot of fun today and yes he will do it again next year. Offers to take you out again next weekend to go ice skating or put together gingerbread houses. Just as long as you don't make him wear one of those awful Christmas jumpers Leo sent a picture of himself wearing the other day. You don't make any promises.

♡ rory ♡

Ever the hopeless romantic, Rory equally adores and despises this time of year. He loves the romanticism of the festive atmosphere, the twinkling fairy lights, the decadence of the food. He's secretly been craving the chance to share it all with someone else. But he would never admit to it. Which is also the cause for his self-proclaimed hatred of the holiday season. He likes to lament about how so much of it is commercialised and specifically catered to couples wanting an excuse to show off how cute they are. He'll acutely ignore the fact that you came home to him watching one of those cheesy Netflix Christmas rom-coms. The type where a prince gets isekaied into the suburbs of New York and falls in love with generic city woman. Will try to hide his face in the neckline of his sweater while you set down boxes of decorations to dress up the room. Claims he wants no part of it and acts all indifferent to your enthusiasm, though it is blatantly evident on his face that he actually means the exact opposite. So you get to hanging baubles from the tree, singing along to Christmas songs as they chime from the speakers. It's when you notice Rory stand up, eyes flickering from you, to the tree, to the floor, that you ask if he would like to give you a hand. Will say no, but you should move that one ornament a bit higher up. It will look better there. Or maybe add a different coloured one there to brighten up that section. Pass a box of ornaments to him and tell him that if he's going to comment on your decorating then he better just do it himself. Rory acts as though this is some large inconvenience but within minutes he's quietly singing along under his breath, a rosy colour staining his cheeks. Pull out some mistletoe and watch him turn an even brighter red. Do it I dare u. And once the room is sufficiently dressed up for Christmas, Rory will collapse back on the sofa, shyly admitting how much he loved spending the time with you as you burrow into the warmth of his side. Will get a little flustered but tries to play it cool until you tease him about finishing the rom-com you caught him watching earlier. Goes to push you away but immediately pulls you back in. Maybe he can be a little more affectionate than usual today. Maybe.

♡ alexei ♡

Alexei doesn't usually decorate a whole lot around the festive season. It's not for a lack of wanting to, nor does he dislike it at all, but rather he just never felt like he had a reason to before. For him, Christmas always felt like a very family-oriented time of year so after he moved out, the thought simply never occurred to him that he could go out and buy a tree and ornaments, even just for his desk at work. When you pose the idea to him to get your home all decorated up for the season, Alexei's interest is piqued. He will scroll for ideas on how to pick a colour theme and will get really into the colour ratio of the baubles too. He lines the tree with golden fairy lights and makes sure the balance of red and green baubles is even. Makes sure to find tinsel that matches the exact shades as well so it doesn't look mismatched at all. It's really rather cute how focused he'll get over it, eyebrows furrowed and this tiny little crease in his forehead. Stands with a look a pure concentration in the way his eyes are surveying the tree from top to bottom, his finger tapping against his lip while you watch from your spot on the sofa sipping a hot chocolate Alexei made for you. You tried to tell him he doesn't need to take it so seriously with the way he's alternating between different coloured baubles but your voice falls on deaf ears. He'll stand back to admire his handiwork, looking to you for excitable approval. Once he deems it good enough, Alexei will lay down, his head just beneath the tree, and he'll gesture for you to join him. He feels all tired out after a day of decorating and has a distinct urge to nap under the tree like a cat. Will sleepily ramble about how he's been looking forward to spending the holiday with you, how he's excited to try all these new things and start ned traditions with you until eventually his eyes betray him and they blink slower and slower and he's falling asleep in your arms.

♡ brooklyn ♡

Brooklyn's home on Christmas is a sight to behold. The man knows how to decorate no matter what the occasion may be. He always loves to make a day of it too. Expect him to wake you up with a cup of tea, already dressed in a cosy Christmas sweater with his hair unstyled and a little messy. Winter Brooklyn is a delight for the eyes. Especially when he's got a hand-knitted scarf bundled around his neck and matching gloves warming his hands. Drives you to a local Christmas tree farm he always visits on the first weekend of December every year without fail. The owners know him by name at this point and are particularly excited to see he has company this year. His hand is entwined in yours as you wander around, talking and musing together over which tree would fit best. If it's snowing, expect Brooklyn to flick a snow-covered branch at you, a dusting of cold powder freckling your cheeks. Will laugh but lets you throw a snowball at him as payment for the attack. Once you pick out the perfect tree, Brooklyn takes you to a local Christmas market to pick out some new decorations. He has a rather rigorous theme he likes to stick to but wants to add something meaningful to signify the two of you—especially with this being your first Christmas together. He tries not to go too overboard and is only stopped by the sight of a stall offering decadent mugs of hot chocolate. Once you're back home and in the warm, Brooklyn is lighting the fireplace, along with a few festive themed candles, and rolling up his sleeves. It's at this point you see just how serious he is about Christmas decorating. And it certainly pays off because once you're both done, the tree looks like someone opened pinterest, found the most visually pleasing tree and managed to extract it and place it directly in your living room. Brooklyn looks very pleased with himself as you praise his well thought out planning. Ends the day with a surprise gift for you because his family always had a tradition of giving a gift on Christmas tree day and he wants to keep that going with you. Is generally just the embodiment of Christmas rom-com love interest with how perfect he makes the day turn out to be.

♡ tobias ♡

Decorating with Tobias is so unbelievably chaotic. There is no rhyme or reason to the scattering of ornaments all over the floor. Decorations are everywhere except where they are supposed to be. He claims he's got a strategy but you're not so certain. He also doesn't really bother with any particular colour theming and just picks out what he thinks looks cool. Loves to have a range of different shapes and colours for the ornaments. Also buys a string of multicoloured flashing lights to drape around the tree because 'regular white lights are boring'. Tobias doesn't care too much about whether you put up a plastic tree or a real one, that is until he sees Brooklyn post a photo of his own Christmas tree on instagram and suddenly Tobias wants to buy a real tree too and make it look as aesthetically pleasing as possible. So he's dragging you out into the cold to go and buy one. Finds his idea of the perfect tree after a good hour of deliberating over which one looks best. Wants one that's got a good shape to it and has plenty of branches. In doing so, however, he very much overestimates how big his car is and how big his apartment is. Drives home with the top of the tree sticking between the seats it's basically sitting on the passenger seat with you. And then there's getting it into his apartment. It's just a little bit too tall so the top of the tree is bent over a little against the ceiling. Tobias rejects your idea to buy a saw and cut the trunk down because surely you can just trim to top, right? No, Tobias, you cannot. Ends up deciding to bend it so the top is angled down a little since you won't let him take the kitchen scissors to it. You're about to attempt to put the star on top until Tobias stops you, claiming he needs to make some adjustments before it goes up. Runs into the bedroom and returns like five minutes later with the star but now it has a picture of his face taped onto the front. Reaches up to put it on the tree but because it's a little too tall, the star is angled down so it looks like star Tobias is watching over like some cursed angelic watchman. Leo is very unsettled when he comes over to visit.

[elementaldoughnut12]

"Sew Me Up?"

*This involves CM Punk and this is a monster au where Punk is based off Emily from Corpse Bride and Drew is based off Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas*

*This is for @thlayli-ra and @afterdarkprincess ! Happy Halloween and happy bad blood day!*

“Man, I can't believe it fell off again!” Drew says with an annoyed whine. Drew was in the middle of a match when the stitches in his arm got ripped off so he had to finish and win the match with one arm. “One of the perks of being a doll made from different body parts” Drew says to himself with a laugh as he walks to his boyfriend's locker room. He walks into the room and sees his boyfriend trying to pull off his prosthetic leg. “Stupid thing!” Punk says as he tries to take off the slightly rusted metal limb.

“You need some help, love?” Drew asks, catching Punk's attention. “Yeah, fucking thing is latched on there tight!” Punk says frustratingly as he tries to yank the prosthetic off. “Calm down before you rip your whole fucking leg off!” Drew says seriously, causing Punk to stop and look at him. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining when you had a worse night than I had” he says with a sigh as Drew sits next to him.

“I actually won my match with just one arm and you don't see me whining like a wee baby do you?” Drew asks with a laugh causing Punk to roll his eyes. “Yeah yeah, now help me pull this off so I can let my bones breathe” Punk says as he and Drew both grab onto the prosthetic. With a few tugs they finally got the leg off, showing Punk's skeletal leg in the process. They then proceeded to pull off his prosthetic arm, showing off his skeletal arm as well.

“Holy fuck that feels better!” Punk says with relief as he flexes his limbs. “How come you don't just buy the new computer prosthetics?” Drew asks curiously as he grabs the rash ointment from his bag. “You know technology ain't my strong suit hon. Besides, I still have some meat that it can latch onto!” Punk says proudly as he pats the remaining flesh on his leg that's mostly his hip and thigh. “Yeah but do you really wanna deal with rashes all the time? I know it makes you uncomfortable every week” Drew says truthfully, causing Punk to sigh.

“I know but I'm afraid that it might malfunction or something during a match and it'll explode and I'll die! I know I'm already dead, being a corpse and all but… I don't want the last thing I see before I die is you crying and alone” Punk says as he feels tears start to form. He feels Drew gently grab his hand and interlace his fingers with his bony ones. “Phil” Drew says quietly, catching Punk's attention. “If you die then we can easily bring you back but if we can't then just know that my heart stops beating when yours does” Drew says with a gentle smile, causing blush to spread across Punk's blue skin.

“I don't know what I'd do without you dollface” Punk says with a laugh, causing Drew to playfully roll his eyes. “Probably get your bones stolen by the werewolves on the roster. Now let's put this cream on you so you can sew my arm up!” Drew says enthusiastically as he unscrews the cap with his teeth and squirts a bit on his hand. “I'm so confused on how I still get rashes when I'm literally a fucking dead body!” Punk says confusingly, causing Drew to giggle. “Just because we're dead doesn't mean we don't have a heart” Drew explains as he applies the cream on Punk's skin.

Punk sighs in relief when his boyfriend rubs the cream on the remaining flesh of his thigh and shoulder. Drew also rubs it on the exposed flesh where part of Punk's ribs are showing and on the hole in his face where part of his teeth and jaw bone are showing as well. “I think that's all of them! How are you feeling?” Drew asks as he gently holds Punk's face. “I wish you would never stop doing that” Punk says sweetly as he leans into Drew's touch.

Punk got startled when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw it was Drew's severed arm behind him and he watched as it crawled towards him and plopped itself into his lap. “I'm never gonna get used to your body parts doing that” Punk says as he grabs his sewing kit. “That's the price of dating a doll!” Drew says with a laugh as helps Punk hold his arm in place. “It just proves I'm in love with a person that's full of surprises” Punk says affectionately causing Drew to blush.

They sit in comfortable silence as Punk grabs some cotton stuffing from his bag and puts it in Drew's arm. “Now, which color thread do you want today?” Punk asks as he shows Drew the different color threads. “Surprise me! You always know what color looks best on me” Drew says as he closes his eyes, as if he's had to do this a hundred times before. Punk picks out a spool of purple thread, puts it through the needle and starts sewing.

“Do you wanna tell me the reason why your stitches came undone?” Punk asks as he watches Drew freeze up a bit. “I may or may not have gotten pissed off during the match and got my arm ripped off by the ref on accident” Drew says embarrassingly with blush across his cheeks. “You shouldn't let your anger take control while in the ring cause you'll never go far if you do” Punk says truthfully as he grabs some red thread next. “Yeah I know…” Drew says a bit sadly which Punk doesn't like.

“How come we never use fishing strings on you? It's effective and won't snap easily” Punk asks which makes Drew giggle a bit. “I don't think the aquatic monsters on the roster would like that” Drew says which causes Punk to smile. “What are they gonna do? Throw seashells at us? Maybe they'll send Aquaman to attack us!” Punk says playfully, causing Drew to burst out laughing. “Stop that! You're gonna make me burst my stitches!” Drew says through laughter.

“There's my little doll! You can look at your stitches now” Punk says happily as he puts away his sewing kit. Drew opens his eyes, looks over and gasps at seeing the interwoven threads on his arm. “They're so beautiful… I love them” Drew says as he gently traces the delicate stitching. “I knew you would like it! I thought the stitches would stand out more if I used two different colors” Punk explains as he puts away his prosthetics.

When he looks back up, his lips are automatically connected with Drew's in a loving kiss. He thought he was gonna die a second time everytime Drew kissed him. When they disconnect, Drew puts his forehead against Punk's. “I know I'm never gonna get those new digital prosthetics but I wouldn't mind getting new metal ones every couple of years if that makes you any better” Punk says quietly.

“I wouldn't mind renting some yoga videos to help with my anger. I love you so much Phil” Drew says affectionately. “I love you too Drew. Now let's go to the hotel! I wanna try a new trick in bed!” Punk says happily, causing Drew to giggle. “Does it involve you taking your head off again?” He asks as they put on their street clothes. “You know me so well” Punk says with a laugh as they walk out to the car hand-in-hand.

[heroescore]

Heroes

Chapter 3 - Heck of a Ride

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Phil couldn’t get a hold of Aiden after work. It was getting pretty late after all, so he was probably busy working and had put his phone on silent. Too excited to be hungry, Phil took a taxi to The Joint, bursting in while Aiden was eating a muffin while waiting for the next customer to come in.

“Fuck— Welcome to— Oh, it’s just you,” he said, wiping the crumbs off his cheek with his sleeve.

“Hey, just you is a paying customer,” Phil said, pulling his wallet out and slapping a couple bills on the counter.

“Fuck off, Phil,” Aiden said, rolling his eyes, “what you want?”

“Decaf,” Phil said, “as you can see, I’m already hyped enough and I can’t afford a heart attack right now.”

“I’m not supposed to judge customers, but why in the name of everything that’s sacred would you force me to make decaf?” Aiden said.

“Because I just basically got a huge promotion and I think my heart already exploded a little, let’s not make it worse,” Phil said.

“Duuude, why didn’t you open with that?” Aiden asked, tossing a dish rag at him.

Phil caught it and put it on the counter as he sat on one of the counter seats.

“Because I kinda need a bit of a favour,” Phil said.

“For the last time, I’m not creating fake accounts to upvote your stuff, that’s cheating,” Aiden said.

“No, no, listen,” Phil said, “with the interview with Mirage that’s being published tomorrow, they also wanna advertise towards supers to approach us for interviews where their privacy will be top priority. I might have to meet in sketchy alleys and such, but it gets me my own office and a new computer.”

“I’m not playing bodyguard in sketchy alleys,” Aiden said, serving him his decaf coffee and returning to his muffin.

“No worry, because to get that far, I really, really, really need a good first response to that first ad,” Phil said, “so I was wondering maybe, um...your friend could help me out with that?”

“First off, that would only guarantee one response, and secondly, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to jump onto something like that this early in his career. You should find someone more popular.”

“Dude, you— Your friend is literally my only lifeline into that world,”  Phil said.

“And my friend barely has any connections too,” Aiden reminded him, “I’m sorry Phil. but this endeavour will have to rely on your own luck and skill.”

“I hate it when you get all wise with me,” Phil said, rolling his eyes, but he knew his friend was right.

But then he remembered something his friend tended to tease him with.

“So...when does Mirage usually come in for her coffee?” he asked.

“Random,” Aiden said, “if you wanna wait for her, go sit in a booth, I don’t want her to know you know me.”

“Fine, but I’ll want one of them muffins, because I haven’t eaten yet,” Phil said, taking his coffee and finding a booth.

Aiden rolled his eyes and prepared a small plate, dropped a muffin on it and brought it over.

Phil waited quite some time, burning through three muffins, many cups of decaf, and two phone calls about the arrangements for his promotion. Then finally, after he was about to give up and try and get some food before he would starve, a familiar superwoman stepped into the cafe.

“Good evening~!” she chirruped.

“Ah, welcome, Mirage. The usual?” Aiden asked.

“Yes, but first. I want to show you a modification to my suit~” Mirage said, turning a bit and showing a small, almost invisible zipper near her hip. “Ta-dah~!”

“...a zipper?” Aiden slowly asked.

“A pocket!!” Mirage said, zipping it open and pulling out a surprisingly large wad of bills, “or integrated wallet if you want it to sound cool and technical.”

“What a great idea,” Aiden said, “so now you can pay the three-fifty for your usual order~?”

“Yes! And I’m not sure how much I owe you, so just consider this a tip,” Mirage said, placing the whole wad of cash on the counter.

Aiden blinked for a moment.

“Ah, th-that’s very kind, but I’m not sure I can accept—”

“I insist!” Mirage said.

“If you don’t take it I might,” Mr Ecker said as he happened to step out of his office at that exact moment, carrying a box with fresh beans and storing it beneath the counter.

“Hgnn...I-I don’t know what to say, Mirage. Thank you,” Aiden said, somewhat shakily taking the money and tucking it away in his tips pocket.

While he went to prepare her coffee, Phil approached Mirage.

“Fancy meeting you here~” he said, trying to slip in smoothly, but almost tripping over one of the chairs.

“Oh! Hey Phil, what a coincidence!” Mirage said, “or wait. Who told you I’d be here?”

“Well, social media is a bitch,” Phil lied, “anyway, I wanted to share some amazing news with you if you have a moment?”

“Sure! Nothing in our area is on fire yet, so…”

“Great! Have a seat!” Phil said, pulling her to his booth, “ah, sir, could you bring her coffee there? Thanks!”

Aiden discreetly rolled his eyes and quietly brought over her coffee while Phil told Mirage about the impact of her interview, and that while it hadn’t even been published yet!

“Oh that’s wonderful news!” Mirage said, “and they’re going to place an ad for more interviews?”

“Yup,” Phil said, “I’m getting new stuff, my own office...they’re putting my face on the cover. And it’s all thanks to you!”

“Oh my!” Mirage said, “when I became a hero I imagined helping people as in pulling them from burning buildings, not...getting promotions.” she giggled a bit, “Although one shouldn’t just go into a burning building, it’s far too risky when you don’t have protective gear or powers, although there was that one time the fire department couldn’t reach someone and there was only smoke in the room so far so… what were we talking about?”

“Nothing, really. Talk away,” Phil said. Mirage raised a brow, then laughed a bit.

“You’re very cute, Phil. But I better get going~” She grabbed her coffee, winked at him, and disappeared.

“Cat!”

Black Cat rolled her eyes a bit, not even startled as Mirage suddenly appeared behind her and shouted her nickname. She came up next to her, sitting down on the ledge of the roof they were on, and bounced in her seat a bit.

“You’ll never believe what just happened!”

“I dunno, Mirage, after those murder chickens I might just believe anything,” Cat said with a shrug, “what happened?”

“Fair point,” Mirage said, before shaking her head and pulling a hand through her hair, “I called a boy cute.”

“...I assume you mean a guy your age? We’re not in high school, be specific,” Cat said.

“Sorry, yeah, a guy,” Mirage said, “he’s a columnist, I met him when taking Cross home the other day, and he asked if we could do an interview, and I thought heck why not? And he was so respectful with his questions, like he didn’t ask me about my job or daily life, really just things about my life as a hero instead, like Mirage is a separate person.”

“And you called him cute for that?” Cat asked, struggling to follow her line of storytelling.

“No, I did that earlier when I happened to run into him at The Joint, and he told me my interview got him a promotion, and I started rambling and I don’t even remember about what, so I was like ‘what were we talking about?’ and he goes ‘Nothing~ Talk away~’ looking all mesmerised. I think he has a thing for me.”

“And then you called him cute?” Cat asked.

“And went straight here to tell you about it,” Mirage said, nodding.

“Aight,” Cat said, grinning a bit, “when’s the first date?”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, I— Mirage can’t date, that’d be...so complicated.”

“Why, are you already in a committed relationship in your daily life?” Cat asked.

“God I wish,” Mirage said, “nah, I’m a single pringle in both lives, but like...what if things go bad and he outs me?”

“Then you don’t date him,” Cat said with a shrug.

“You make it sound so easy, girl…”

“Yeah, well, we both know it’s never easy,” Cat said as she got up, stretching a bit, “let’s go. I have a feeling something’s about to go down.”

The next morning, Phil woke up in the best mood. His face was on the magazine’s cover that was being printed today, and a preview of the interview and the ad Mr Leblanc suggested were already available online. #MirageInterview was trending on several socials by the time he left the apartment to go to work and size up his new office and equipment.

He had even been allowed to keep his old work laptop and use it privately, so he was planning to wipe it clean at the end of the day and give it to Aiden so he wouldn’t have to worry about his class notes.

Speaking of, when he went to wake his friend for class, he only found a note on his pillow with the words: “early shift before class.”

“An early shift after a closing shift?” Phil asked no one in particular, “that old man’s gonna work you to death if you’re not careful…”

Still, he didn’t let it ruin his mood as he locked the apartment door and headed out. He put in a pair of earbuds to listen to his favourite tunes as he headed towards the nearest subway station.

It was quite busy as was normal at this rush hour, but having to squeeze yourself between two sweaty businessmen to give up a seat for an old lady for about twenty minutes until his stop beat having to stand still in traffic for possibly longer...right? Not to mention the cost of getting a driver’s licence and owning a car.

No. Subway was definitely better, Phil told himself as he resisted the urge of suggesting deodorant to the businessmen. Fortunately they got off before him, and he got some breathing room to start moving towards the door, since he had a two-minute window to get off the train and squeeze himself into the next.

However, as he braced himself for the train to slow down...it didn’t. And when they reached the station, the train simply sped through. Phil frowned, stopping his music and taking his earbuds out, turning to the young woman next to him, who seemed equally confused.

“Did I miss an announcement?” Phil asked.

“No, there hasn’t been any announcement besides the stations,” the woman replied.

Phil cursed and looked around, for an emergency break of some kind. Two young men were already yanking on one, but it didn’t seem to be working. Phil made his way over to them.

“Hey, check the breaks in the other carts, I’ll go to the front and see what’s up,” he said.

They agreed right away and they parted ways again. Phil made his way to the front cart, nearly falling over as the train was clearly going too fast for the track. There were no drivers in the trains, as they were all controlled remotely, but there were supposed to be plenty of fail-safes in case said control was lost. But it appeared none of them were working.

When Phil finally made it to the front, where the main control panel was installed, he found a rather famous super pacing before it; Black Cat. It appeared she had already broken open the door and tried to override the controls, but nothing was working; emergency breaks, alert buttons, or even the intercom system to ask people to stay calm. Cat seemed to be on the phone, looking rather annoyed as she tried to get through.

“Miss?” Phil said.

“Stay in your seat,” she replied dismissively, trying to dial again.

“You’ll only have a signal near or on platforms,” Phil informed her, “you’re better off sending a text and retrying until it goes through.”

“I fucking hate providers,” Cat grumbled, but she followed his advice and sent a text instead.

And sure enough, when they sped past the next station, she managed to get it sent.

“Great, thanks,” she said, “now even though the emergency precautions seem to be broken, I’m sure they know they have a runaway train and cleared the tracks for us. So we shouldn’t have to worry about collisions. However, at this speed…”

“Keep it down, people will freak out,” Phil said.

“But they should be allowed to come to terms with the worst possible outcome,” Cat said.

“I’m sure some already are,” Phil said, “who did you text?”

“My partner. She can teleport people to safety,” Cat said.

“Are you sure that’s the best course of action?” Phil questioned, “there’s dozens of people on this train, she could exhaust herself before saving everyone.”

“....you’re the guy that did that interview,” Cat concluded.

“Yes, Phil Winter, huge fan, but for real, is there nothing else we can do?” Phil said, shaking her hand briefly.

“Sometimes hard choices need to be made,” Cat said, “even with our advantages we can’t save everyone. When Mirage gets here...we’ll do it Titanic-style. Women and children first, young before old. We should prepare the crowd.”

“...you’re right,” Phil said, “though I don’t like it one bit...we should warn them for the side-effects too.”

“Yes. Almost forgot. Everyone listen up!”

She explained the plan, asking people to pass it to the other carts. Some didn’t seem too happy with it, but most were just praying that there would be enough time to get everyone off. Some younger people offered to let an elderly citizen take their place, and before they knew it everyone was shouting at Cat.

Phil had seen it coming, considering she could be rather blunt while these people were scared and vulnerable. However, she couldn’t help them when they all yelled at her, so he got up on a seat and tried to shout over everyone.

“Everyone! Guys! Calm the fuck down!” he yelled, waiting for people to quiet a little before continuing, “they probably know they have a runaway train and the tracks should be cleared for us. We’re not going to crash into anything, so we got plenty of time to get everyone off safely, understood?”

People settled down a little at that, and Cat gave Phil a little nod. He wasn’t sure what she meant, but he decided to take it as gratitude. At that moment, Mirage finally popped up beside them.

“Oh! I made it!” she said, “sorry for the wait Cat. After getting your text I had to find out which train you were on and where it’s headed so I went to headquarters and— Oh hi Phil!”

“Focus!” Cat snapped, forcing her friend to look back at her, away from Phil, who waved a bit awkwardly.

“What’d they say?”

Mirage answered in a hushed tone, not wanting people to panic.

“It’s bad.” she said, “They managed to clear the tracks as much as possible, but it seems they’re dealing with some kind of virus and they’re able to do less and less. They could eventually reroute this train back onto the track with another.”

“Better get to work then,” Cat said.

Mirage nodded in agreement.

“I’m taking you to the 124th so you can coordinate where to pick people up. They’ll need help after the jump.”

“Got it. What channel you on?” Cat asked.

“Six,” Mirage said, tapping her own ear piece, “I’ll only have clear reception above ground so, communication will be short.”

“And chaotic, I’m used to that,” Cat said, “you coming Winter?”

“M-me?” Phil asked, “no...stick to the plan. Titanic-style. Women and children first. I’ll stay here to keep people calm.”

The two masked women nodded, before disappearing. Barely two seconds later Mirage was already back to pick up a young mother with her newborn, followed by a young family with three young kids.

While she kept popping in and out, Cat had met up with Captain Carnahan of the 124th and coordinated with her to pick up the victims. Whenever Mirage dropped someone off, she yelled a landmark, so they would know where to send a unit.

Back in the train, Phil tried his best to help people stay calm, and warning them for the side effects of Mirage’s teleporting.

“It won’t hurt, really. You’ll feel nauseous and dizzy for a bit, but only for a minute or so.”

As the automatic announcements called another station coming up, Phil got his phone out and sent an SOS text to Aiden. He didn’t give any other info. But that wasn’t necessary. When they both finally got their hands on a decently working smartphone, they installed an app with which they could track each other. In case something happened to one of them; a sudden disappearance, mugging or an emergency text.

Phil wasn’t quite sure how well it would work while he was in the subway, but at least his friend would know something was up. Just after watching his text get through, he was suddenly thrown off his feet as the train switched tracks. And barely a moment later, Mirage appeared behind Phil, catching her breath a bit as she was already at her limit.

“HQ called…” she panted, “Switched tracks...other train ahead…”

“Oh shit,” Phil said, “how many people did you get off?”

“Less than half,” Mirage answered, shaking her head, “I-I don’t think I can do this…”

“Okay, okay, take a deep breath,” Phil said, “what about a caffeine booster?”

“They only make me stronger, not faster,” Mirage said. Phil nodded, thinking for a moment.

“How much stronger?”

“Uh...I dunno I never really tested?” Mirage said.

“Strong enough to move the whole train and everyone in it in one jump?”

“...not with precision, but maybe?”

“Let me think...we just passed Hunter College,” Phil slowly said,

“Central Park is just a block over, if they can clear an area for you, I’d say just plant us there. It’ll be a soft landing, if everyone braces themselves, worst case someone gets a concussion or a broken arm, so maybe some place near a hospital?”

“Mount Sinai hospital is right across the East Meadow,” Mirage said, “I sunbathe there on days off— I’ll tell them to clear the place, you tell people to brace themselves!”

She disappeared again, and Phil sent someone to spread the word in the other carts. Loose items were tucked under seats and tied in place with belts, coats, vests and shirts. Some old lady threw her groceries out the window, saying she would rather buy new ones than to be taken off the census by her melons and a pack of butter.

Meanwhile Mirage popped back up above ground and called Cat.

“Hey, tell them to clear the East Meadow asap, I’m taking the whole train there.”

“Jesus girl, how much time they got?” Cat asked, having put her on speaker, so the officers listening in immediately began calling.

“I dunno, a couple minutes?” Mirage said, “I’ll be aiming for the centre, pray for us!”

And then her signal went dead as she jumped back onto the speeding train, making sure everyone was prepared before finding Phil again, taking out her caffeine pills.

“If this doesn’t work…”

“Don’t go there,” Phil said, “if anyone in this city can do this, it’s you.”

“Right,” Mirage said, “do or die.”

With that in mind, she dry-swallowed two pills, told Phil to brace himself, and teleported herself to the front of the train. On the outside. There was barely enough room for her to stand on the ledge, but the wind pressed her against the window. It took a bit of struggle to turn around.

Through the window, she could see the people in the front cart all peering hopefully at her, ready to tuck in protectively should she manage to move the train or fail. She locked eyes with Phil, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Come on, Mirage,” she muttered to herself, “if there is a god…”

A light reflected off the window as they raced towards the other train. So it was now or never. She braced herself, but instead of a lot of pain, she found herself flying off the ridge as the train abruptly slowed down while its wheels dug itself into the dirt, daylight blinded her, and the grass that normally felt so gentle and soft bruised her as she tumbled off quite roughly. She spit some dirt out of her mouth as she looked up, finding the whole train had come to a stop on the grass.

“I...I did it…” she said, before everything turned black.

Inside the train had been pure chaos. People hanging on and screaming for dear life as the train collided with...something? Daylight blinded them too, the jump disoriented them, and many breakfasts were lost as soon as people dared to let go.

Phil only just about managed to keep his down as he made his way over to one of the broken windows, cutting his arm as he slipped through and stumbled past the train. A helicopter was hovering over them, telling people to stay put and that help was on the way, sirens were closing in fast, but Phil’s main concern was the woman who had just saved them. He found her some ways from the train, fearing the worst as she wasn’t moving.

“Mirage!”

He called out her name as he closed the distance between them, dropping to his knees next to her, and gently putting his head on her chest to listen for a heartbeat, or breathing...anything! It was hard to hear over all the sounds, and he was so focused he almost missed the approaching of hooves as a rather famous super approached them.

“Step away from her, sir!” he called as he dismounted his horse.

“She just saved a lot of people’s lives, I’m tryna see if she didn’t lose hers in the process!” Phil snapped, “I think she’s breathing— Ranger?!”

“If you really want to help her you’ll have no time for fanboying,” Ranger said, sitting next to him and searching for a pulse, before feeling her forehead. “She’s fine, just exhausted herself.”

“Will she need a hospital?” Phil asked.

“Technically, yes,” Ranger said, “but they’ll completely disregard her privacy. So unless she starts bleeding in places she shouldn’t be bleeding, we better get her out of here before the ambulance gets here.”

“Need a hand?”

Phil whipped his head around upon hearing the familiar voice, finding his best friend (in disguise) landing smoothly behind them. Ranger shot him a suspicious look, but a familiar voice in the back of his mind told him to trust the new super.

“Take her somewhere where she can rest safely,” he said, “stay clear of that helicopter, I’ll summon a distraction for you.”

“I’ll protect her with my life,” Cross said nobly, while behind Ranger, Phil mouthed ‘I’ll see you later.’ at him.

He gently took Mirage in his arms, carrying her bridal-style before taking off.

“You sir, with the wings! Do not leave the area!” someone shouted through a speaker from the helicopter, but Cross ignored them, while Ranger put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly.

Quite literally out of nowhere, a very large flock of birds showed up, flying between the helicopter and the super, making it impossible for them to follow him without crashing themselves. Phil gaped a bit, before snapping back to the present and turning towards Ranger.

“Say...I don’t suppose you’d like to give an interview for my column?”

“I think not,” Ranger said, “but some kids that frequent Times Square might love to take that offer.”

He took his horse by the reins and approached the police to report on what he knew about the incident, while Phil was coaxed into an ambulance to get checked for injuries.

Several hours later, he finally arrived home, having been given a ride by the police after being questioned extensively at the hospital. Since a lot of people pointed him out as having helped Black Cat and later Mirage, they decided he was their best bet to complete the picture of what had happened.

By the time he arrived home, the late afternoon news was already reporting some details of the incident, explaining that it had been the work of a hacker, but that things were back under control and subways were running as they should be again.

They showed amateur footage of the runaway train appearing in the middle of the meadow, the hype of Ranger’s very brief involvement, and someone was so popular he got his own item.

“Next up: An angel in New York City definitive proof of God? Theologists are skeptic.” a reporter said on the TV while Phil entered the apartment.

Aiden was pacing in front of the TV, while Mirage was passed out on their couch. When spotting Phil, he turned the TV off.

“Dude, I’ve been trying to call you for hours,” he said, “are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’ll live,” Phil said, “and I lost my phone in the chaos. Gave the police your number in case they find it.”

“Okay,” Aiden said.

“How is she?” Phil asked.

“Um...about an hour after I put her down she got up, ate a spoonful of coffee grounds, then nearly missed the couch when she passed out again.”

“Damn,” Phil said, “is she...unconscious?”

“In a sense? I think she’s just sleeping,” Aiden said.

“And she didn’t recognise you from The Joint?” Phil asked.

“Not yet,” Aiden said, “but that doesn’t matter. She’d have to be really fucked up to rat me out after all this.”

“Fair enough,” Phil said, “Ranger seemed to trust you too.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what’s cooler, killing a T-rex or meeting Ranger and...well, sorta working together? He did cover my escape~”

“High five!” Phil said excitedly, holding up the hand he’d cut when crawling out of the train.

Aiden didn’t notice the bandage and enthusiastically smacked him right on the cut.

“AH! FUCK!” Phil yelled, holding his hand and cursing a lot more as he sat down on one of the chairs.

“Oh Lord, I’m so sorry— Hey, leave Jesus out of this!”

“You hit me on my wound, I’m sure Jesus will forgive me for slipping up!” Phil said.

“Don’t be so dramatic, I’ll grab you some ice,” Aiden said.

He headed over to the kitchen, finding a bag of frozen peas and tossing them at Phil. He reluctantly took the bag, holding it in his injured hand. Other than that, he got off pretty well, with only a couple bruises. Everyone on the train had gotten off very well, since the worst injuries were a couple concussions and a broken hip. And all thanks to Mirage, who slept off her exhaustion on their couch.

“Coffee?” Aiden asked.

“Fuck, please, yes,” Phil said, “hospital would only give me water.”

“You’re probably not insured for hot drinks,” Aiden said.

“Yeah, I declined pain relief too to keep the bill to a minimum,” Phil said with a sigh, “remind me to call my insurance when I get a phone back.”

“That comes later, you should rest now. You’ve been through a lot too,” Aiden said, getting out the French press, since it was Phil’s favourite, and he looked like he could use a pick-me-up.

“Thanks man...you’re right, it’s a lot to process, but it’s kind of hard to focus on that when we have a famous superhero sleeping on our couch!”

Aiden shook his head a bit as he waited for the coffee to settle, before pressing the plunger slowly and pouring a cup for Phil. As he walked past Mirage to give his friend his coffee, the scent seemed to rouse her from her sleep as she stirred a little.

“Hng...can I get a cup...of that?” she mumbled, before blinking her eyes open.

Her sight was a bit blurry, but she recognised the horribly undecorated room, and the young man in the chair.

“Phil…? Why are you holding a bag of peas?”

“Cut my hand,” Phil said, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I teleported a whole ass train,” Mirage said, slowly sitting up, while Aiden tried to be invisible, pouring her a cup of coffee and putting it down in front of her.

“Oh, thanks— YOU!”

She smiled gratefully at him, before gaping in shock as she recognised her usual barista. She looked between him and Phil.

“You two know each other?”

“He’s my roommate,” Phil slowly said, after receiving an affirming nod from Aiden.

“Your roommate?” Mirage said, “but then— Oh my God you’re—”

“Don’t drink the last sip, that’s French press coffee,” Aiden said, distracting her before she would blurt something out.

“Thin walls,” Phil said, detecting some confusion on the super’s face.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry!” Mirage quickly said, “jeez, now I feel like I owe you so much more than just a bunch of unpaid coffees!”

“Well, you did save me from getting eaten the other night, so let’s call it even,” Aiden said, “also your huge tip gave us a breather in paying rent.”

“Had I known you lived here I would’ve urged you to spend it on home improvements instead,” Mirage said, taking the coffee and carefully taking a sip.

“We’re getting the AC fixed?” Phil said.

“Good for you, but you’ll need more than that,” Mirage said.

“Why?” Aiden asked, “nothing else is broken?”

“Men,” Mirage sighed, “anyway, um...why am I here though?”

“You passed out after saving us and Ranger said the hospital would be a bad idea,” Phil said with a shrug.

“Whoa,” Mirage said, “I missed Ranger? Did you ask him for an interview?”

“Tried and failed,” Phil said, shaking his head sadly, “anyway, at that moment Cross showed up and Ranger told him to take you somewhere you could rest safely, so here we are.”

“Oh you boys are a Godsend,” Mirage said, “literally?” she added, looking at Aiden.

“I wish I knew,” he said with a shrug, “but I like to think God blessed me with these abilities so I can help people.”

“I can’t say I fully agree,” Mirage said, “but if there is a higher power out there, it’s nice to know they’re looking after us.”

“To each their own,” Aiden said, “when you boil all religions down to their core, we all believe in the same idea in the end; a higher power creating earth and its life, peace after death, etcetera.”

“...huh. You can even apply that to science,” Mirage said.

“See?” Aiden said.

“Okay, okay, very enlightening,” Phil said, “since you two are all buddy-buddy, any chance you can keep us in the loop on what happened on that subway?”

“Oh, the news said it was a hacker,” Aiden said.

“I heard, but like, what was their motive? Was there a ransom demand? Were they just psychotic?” Phil said, “I want answers!”

“Supers don’t typically investigate things unless they’re specialised in that,” Mirage said, “Cat and I...we typically just deal with a situation then hand everything over to the police.”

“Aren’t you ever curious?” Phil asked, “or ask follow-up questions? Like, don’t you want to know how the heck three dinosaurs suddenly appeared in the middle of New York-freakin-City?”

“Well, that’s different, since I’m a scientist and my lab happens to be investigating that,” Mirage slowly said, “but it’s worth a shot asking the police maybe? They’ll be more inclined to tell me than you so...”

“Girl I would love you forever if you could get me anything,” Phil said.

“She saved your life earlier, isn’t that enough?” Aiden asked, with an amused smirk, “and before you even met her you were already fangirling—”

“Yeah we get the picture dude, just let me express my gratitude however I want, thank you,” Phil said, his ears turning red a little.

Aiden chuckled a bit, before getting distracted by a rapping sound from his room. He raised a brow and went to check, finding a familiar super standing outside his window on the fire escape. She was probably there for Mirage, so he quickly went to open his window to let her in.

“Hi, how did you get up here?” Aiden asked, stepping back so she could climb in without stepping with her shoes on his bed.

“Climbing,” she said, before looking him over, “you look familiar…”

“I...work at The Joint,” Aiden quickly said, “you ever been?”

“Not in costume, but yeah, now that you mention it,” Cat said, “anyway, I’m here for Mirage and Phil.”

She held up a cracked phone, which Aiden instantly recognised.

“You found his phone!”

“Yeah and this address was logged. He needs better security on this thing,” Cat said, heading into the living room, “sup?”

“Cat?!” Phil said surprised.

“Oh hey Cat!” Mirage said cheerfully.

“Good to see you’re yourself already,” Cat said, before handing Phil his phone, “I took a call from some Wilson guy. You’re letting your boss yell at you like that?”

“Oh God,” Phil said, feeling even more embarrassed, “I am so sorry, he’s got a bit of a temper, like his job is so stressful, always having to make sure people make their deadlines in time—”

“I don’t care, I told him to shut it and show some respect.” Cat said with a shrug, before parking herself on the couch next to Mirage, “You don’t deserve to be talked to like that.”

“Preach!” Aiden said.

“Luckily his boss has taken a liking to me, so he can’t fire me for that,” Phil mumbled as he looked through his missed calls.

There were a lot from Aiden, and a couple from Mr Wilson. Then he checked his email, and found a message from HR that they had received a complaint from Wilson, but that they had disregarded it in light of his involvement with the East Meadow incident.

Relieved, he quickly shot them a message that he was unharmed and would be back to work tomorrow, before putting his phone away.

“What a day,” he sighed, “I should be losing my mind over having two heroes in my living room, but I’m pretty damn tired.”

“Oh you should really take your rest too, Phil.” Mirage said, before finishing her coffee, “We should leave you two alone now, I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“Nonsense,” Aiden said, “stay as long as you like.”

“I’d like to leave now!” Cat said loudly, “if you’re up for it.”

“Yeah, I should be good to go,” Mirage said, “but first, I wanna give you my phone number. Both of you, if there’s anything, literally anything, you can call me, just not this week because I will be hibernating to recover from today.”

She held her hands out until the boys handed her their phones so she could save her number in their contacts. Then she thanked both of them with a hug, before taking Cat’s hand and disappearing.

“I still can’t believe that just happened,” Phil said, “pinch me, Aiden, I must be dreaming!”

“...she took our cup,” Aiden noted, pointing at the empty coaster, “I guess she forgot she was holding it…”

“I’ll text her,” Phil said with a sigh, “that was our only cup for visitors…”

<prev | masterlist | next>

[abundantchewtoys]

Beyond Canon re: p695-707

Oooh, I had seen people theorize the letter was from Rose, glad to see it is indeed by Tavros.

Wow, he seems a lot more articulate in writing, or maybe it's just a long time since I've read his logs/dialogues.

It's intriguing that Yiffy might like Tavros best out of the four kids, given his relation to Jane. Or well, it's that she tolerates him best. His introvert personality might help most, I think.

Gotta love Harry indeed helping himself to the trail mix. And wouldn't you know it, of course Vrissy & Harry go outside again. It's like the nature of the danger is still not sunken in with Vrissy. That might be changing soon now.

Because eesh, Jade realizes that Yiffy's gone, and gets distracted. Did she use her vision omnifold? You know, what she needed glasses for to do during the session, but which might come naturally now that she's a Space god & dog tier?

I can only hope her current efforts (trying to protect an empty spaceship as she thought it housed all the kids) aren't counted as Heroic. But I'm not hopeful.

And that Jane actually decides to press the button on her orbital laser... Ughh.

Gotta wonder how the Point comes out of this. The old meteor is probably done for, but that piece of equipment might be made of hardier stuff.

In any case, I presume John getting blasted wouldn't count as Heroic. But we didn't see if Roxy (and Calliope) were near - though from Rose's predicition I presume Calliope at least is elsewhere.

Wow, the blast not only can be seen from the tower I presume was where Dirk went to die, it's also causing the earth to shake all the way over there.

The laser looks similar to Ahab's Crosshairs, come to think of it.

I'll admit, I thought this was really it for Act 1, it felt like a similar note to end on like Homestuck Act 1. I appreciate the flash is still gonna be a part of this Act, presumably.

Felt weird to see the story using orange curtains, but now I realize it's also the font color of the Beyond Canon site. It's also presumably the colour of the session that Dirk's people will initiate.

Speaking of:

My god, of course my first thoughts when seeing grey hands were trolls. But then I noticed the claws, and thus...

Of freaking course. I hadn't considered it, but of course some of the people's are already in contact with the Candy timeline. Event horizons be damned. ;) Guess the timeline isn't so isolated, after all.

Specifically, note, they've contacted Vrissy. Apart from her status as the child of two of the rebellion leaders, I wonder what might have motivated this person to contact them.

I mean, now we can really start to theorize about the four Candy kids to enter a session of their own and gaining classpects! (I guess we'll just assume for now their dreamselves are all still asleep.)

But first.

gavageCunctation's quirk appears to be about a bomb with a lit wick. And at the end of the conversation their computer exploded. It didn't look that good in the picture either, with those cracks and leaks. Like an unholy combination of human and trolltech.

Is that indicative of the species? Are Dirk and Rose's attempts at sentient life actually incredibly genetically unstable and at risk of dying out in a few generations (at this point in Deltritus' timeline, I mean)?

So, the new GC is contacting Vrissy. It's a parallel to Calliope talking with Jane, and Karkat talking with Jade. Not much else we can conclude from that, I think, beyond that it might very well be Vrissy that instigates them starting a session. Which, given her current obsession with doing something relevant, is not a surprise. I figure that on the side of Deltritus it might be 2 or 4 players from both Dirk's and Rose's species, for a total of 8 or 12 players. I'm assuming it's gonna be one giant shared session, but this is S***b and we know how convoluted it can get.

"GC: i'm going to play TC's game with some of my friends today..."

I know this might seem as if GC and TC will have more friends in the same species, but yeah, not sure. Dirk might have claimed it's a race to see which species will "win", but S***b has shown that dividing into two teams can be a futile effort. It would also be good if GC & TC's friend circle already included both species, as a way to further spit in the face of that idea of rivalry.

"AA (that's oomf)---*"

Not sure what to make of this part though. I mean, AA is another player, but what about the bracketed part? Is the quirk just such that they light a wick to brackets as well? Is "oomf" a name, a nickname, an adverb?

The way GC rambles in their log, at least, reminds of Dave, but I'm interested to see more of them, it's been an intriguing sneak peak!

I suppose the rest of the roster will also use taghandles whose acronyms are not yet covered by the Candy kids, but boy, it’s gonna be a bit messy in the future to ever again refer to someone by their chum handle, any way. I assume the number of total players will be less than 13 though, so that four combinations won’t be reused. But since Harry uses thespiansGlamor [TG] and Tavvy glutinousGymnast [GG] (I had to look it up), we do have overlap. I think odds are high Yiffy uses TT and GT, John’s old handle, continues not being in use by any of the main cast.

Oooh, but now I see that on p472, GC had already been teased in Vrissy’s chumroll! ... If recidiviousGainsayer is also one of the Deltritus crew, there might in fact be a lot more of them. The R would then be in reference to RNA, where the GCAT letters were solely for DNA... Now, if I wikipedia it, I see that RNA contains the U base instead of the T, and not an R base, but I can see how the Beyond Canon crew might want to reserve the u/U handle for cherubs (even if no more get introduced than we already have) and substitute it with an R! ... But then why would there also be a TC though. ... Yeah this won’t end with the 64 Squiddle player session, but I feel like I should still at least imply it. <.< >.>

As for the news post, welp, guess we're in a for a wait for the next update! Second big pause in Beyond Canon, I think?

Who's betting they'd like to bring it out on 01/08 (January 8th) for the funny number factor?

[ishouldbedoinghw]

You Can't Erase Me

One Piece fanfic, part 10: Calico Jack

Previous parts are in my pinned masterlist.

A woman enslaved by the celestial dragons is found by a man with red hair. Angst and comedy ensues.

A/N: Y'all know the drill. This chapter is the one that inspired this entire story. I was driving and listening to this song when a great idea that I really hope doesn't suck exploded into my head. Also I finally got a new computer since I've been working a couple of jobs this summer before moving back to college.

Also I would like to preface this chapter by saying this has a good bit of dancing described in it. The only experience I have with dancing is country western swing dancing and white person line dancing. It might be bad. Dead dove do not eat.

TW: Bad descriptions of dancing and music, thirsting over a vampire, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, Shanks

The first swig from Maria's bottle was, frankly put, fucking terrible. This was the crap Shanks was always chugging?

As I spluttered, trying my best to hand back the bottle before I dropped it, Maria and her friend were giggling behind polite hands.

"Never had liquor before? Traveling with Red-Hair? And I'd bet money on you being almost ten years older than the two of us."

Almost ten years? How young were these girls? How old was I?

"Listen, I had some health problems, alright? And how old do you think-"

Maria's hands shot up in surrender. "Sorry, didn't mean anything by it, we didn't know."

Her friend, still slightly giggling, took the bottle from me and took a swig herself.

"Look, this stuff is cheap, so it isn't about tasting it, you've gotta just let it be nasty and focus on what it's doing to you." She handed it back to me, her long nails curled around the bottle neck.

It tasted just as nasty the second time, but at least I was prepared for it. I swallowed it quickly, doing my best to keep a straight face.

As Maria took the bottle back to hide it away, her friend started to study me, clicking her tongue occasionally. My face burned a bit at being studied again, and it made me wonder if I really looked as good as I felt.

"Maria, you really don't miss, do you?" She laughed, and started to head back down the hall, seemingly satisfied. "Let the newbie know what her big job is tonight, and have her watch during the first couple of songs, so she at least doesn't go in blind."

"Yeah, yeah," Maria called back, shaking her head. "A control freak, that one."

Fiddling with the lace on my corset, I watched Maria finish adjusting herself in the mirror. After she seemed satisfied, she beckoned me to follow her as she went down the hallway after her friend.

"So- what is it that I have to do, exactly?" I ask, nervously gripping my skirt, trying to adjust to walking in it.

"So, every week we have a night where we do the Calico Jack- one of the older, tougher girls is picked to find someone in the crowd to dance with to a song about running off with a pirate." She stopped to adjust a strap on one of her shoes, and I almost run into her. "I personally don't see the appeal in it, and neither does Delilah, but it always brings in a big crowd of rowdy men who pay plenty money to drink and feed their egos if the girl picks 'em."

"That's why we get a grown woman to do it, too- in case a fight breaks out over who gets picked, the dancer doesn't get hurt." She continues. "We try to stay away from the really wild ones- we had a big ginger muscleheaded prick get upset a while back, his blonde boy-toy or whatever had to drag him out."

My mouth had gone quite dry at this point, though whether it was from the liquor or my nerves I wasn't quite sure. I had to dance with a stranger? Hell, I don't think I'd ever danced before. My plans for tonight were to maybe dance with Benn, and then to just listen to something other than the crew's terrible singing. And yet, here I was, painted as a doll ad about to be strung up like a puppet because of some old woman I didn't even know.

"Do I-?"

"Yes, you have to do it, I'd like to keep my room and my nice-paying job, thank you very much." Maria was trying to sound confident and relaxed, but I could see the sweat starting to bead on her neck and face. "Listen, no one would question it if you just picked Red-Hair, and you'd likely avoid a fight that way too, no one would argue that he's handsome and powerful."

I started to argue about calling Shanks anything other than annoying, but I stopped myself- I couldn't deny she had a point. No one would recognize me as the girl he came with, and he was powerful enough to avoid confrontation with someone else. Shit, she might've just given me an easy way out of this mess. I would just get the one dance over with and-

"Of course, before that dance, you've gotta join the rest of the tavern dancers since we're short one."

Of course.

She shoved me, clearly seeing my face. "Listen, it really isn't as bad as it sounds. For whatever reason, the boss has faith in you. She doesn't just drag random strangers out of the crowd- well, at least not all the time." She said with a laugh.

As we neared the end of the hallway, I was expected to be met with some kind of music, or lights like before. Instead, the dance hall was dark and quiet, with only the light hum of hushed conversation. Maria was gripping my shoulder, and I could see her straining to get a glimpse of something off to our right. I tried to follow her gaze, but all I could get was dim outlines of figures, and the flash of something shiny reflecting the dim light of the hallway.

As Maria's grip tightened, chills shot through my body. A whisper from the right made the room a silent vacuum, and I strained to hear the words.

"Hickory, oak, pine and weed-" A small flame flickered in the distance, lighting up the face of the old woman who'd woken me up. Delilah. Her voice was softer, yet somehow stronger when she was singing. Perhaps it was the lack of grouch. A drum was the only instrument playing, only hitting one note to make a beat.

"Bury my heart underneath these trees-" My body froze, waiting for the adverse reaction I'd had when Emily had been preforming.

"And when a southern wind comes to raise my soul-" She drew out the last note in a slight vibrado, and I found myself wondering how the hell I knew that.

"Spread my spirit like a flock of crows." I saw the flash again, and as I focused, I could make out someone holding a guitar, a sleek, slim version of the one Yassopp owned but couldn't play.

"'Cause I loved ya for too long, I loved ya for too long," Her voice was getting stronger, and louder, the den-den mushi in front of her picking up more sound.

"I loved ya for too long-" She held the last note in a vibrado again, holding it out until she was nearly whispering again. Her voice was admittedly beautiful, if not a bit haunting.

"Old heat of a raging fire, Come and light my eyes Summer's kiss through electric wire- But I'll never die-"

The stage lights all came on at once, showing off just how massive it was. A full band stood to the left of Delilah, while a handful of the girls I'd seen earlier were standing to the right, all with their own den-den mushi. On the same beat, as Delilah shifted to a full belt on the end of "die," the girls burst into operatic backup vocals, and the band started playing at top volume. The drum continued at a slightly faster pace, and the guitar strummed at a slow, steady pace to match it, contrasting the passionate voices of Delilah and her choir.

"Sycamore, ash, moss and loam Wrap your roots all around my bones And when they come for me When they call my name Cast my shadow from a bellow's flame-"

Chills ran up my spine, and my heart seemed to seize in my chest. I panicked, thinking I would pass out again, but my breath remained steady, and my mind clear. What the hell was going on?

"Cause I loved ya for too long I loved ya for too long I loved ya for too long So let the storm come-"

My body trembled, my mouth was dry once again, and the back of my neck was coated in a sheen of sweat. My heart was pounding against my ribs, my eyes watered, and I wanted to scream.

"Old heat of a raging fire Come and light my eyes Summer's kiss through electric wire But I'll never die I will never die You can bury my body but I'll never die-"

It was the best thing I could ever remember experiencing. Like a piece of me I'd been searching for ever since I woke up on that damned ship had finally come back.

I loved music. I've always loved music. I could feel it in the depths of my soul, in every bone in my body.

My entire life, I have always loved music.

The way Delilah ripped through the vocals was a storm tearing through the fields of my mind. Every sound I could make out on that stage rocked me to my core.

Watching Delilah's passion was almost as good as listening to it. Her eyes seemed to be gleaming like fire, and she spit out every word as if she had lived through the song over and over again, like she'd truly meant all of it. I'd believe it if they said she was an immortal deity from her stage presence alone.

Her boots stomping caught my attention as she transitioned to the bridge. All instruments but the drum had stopped playing again, and I could hear the thunder of voices in the crowd join her.

"In the dead of night I'm gonna loose these chains Mmm, I'm gonna run and run and run and run and run I'm gonna run and run and run and run Coming for you again Oh, coming for you again-"

The instrumental that followed blew me away once again. I never knew someone could make the instrument Roux purposefully hid from Yassopp sound so damn beautiful. Leading up to the last run of the chorus, Delilah was screaming her vocals, and a new chill ran through my body.

I need to do that one day.

All I wanted, with my entire being, was to be singing these songs with as much passion as she did, in the hopes I could feel something other than fear, anger, or shame.

As Delilah sang the final chorus, she spread her arms, letting her large coat that had been hanging over her shoulders fall to the ground. She was surprisingly muscular for her age, and-

Holy shit, she didn't have any hands.

Her arms ended at the wrists, and were webbed in a messy array of scars. The crowd screamed at the reveal, whether out of fear or something else, I couldn't quite tell.

Maria started to cheer at my side, startling me. She started shaking my arm and bouncing up and down, still yelling her ass off. I didn't pay much attention to it, distracted by Delilah's performance. It wasn't that her lack of hands was a shock in itself; I'd seen where Shanks had lost his plenty. I simply wondered how in the world she'd slapped me so effectively earlier.

"You ready?" Maria yells in my ear, her voice fuzzy with all the noise.

"Ready for wh-" And she shoved me in the direction of the stage as the room grew dark again. I flailed about and stumbled a bit, before one of the male dancers, a dark-haired, freckled young man, caught my arm.

"Newbie, right? You know the Mull River Shuffle, yeah?" He hooks his arm in mine, pulling me to the opposite side of the now empty dance floor.

"The fucking what-"

"Yeah, Maria said you might not, don't worry, you just gotta follow my lead. You dance some, yeah?"

"No-"

The guitar starts a faster rhythm than before, and the lights flash on again, making my vision spotty. My partner squeezes my arm, catching my attention before he starts moving around the floor with the other dancers in a wide circle. The more we moved, the slower and dizzier I felt we were moving. The steps I took to mirror his were clumsy, and my neck burned in shame at how stupid I likely looked.

"You know, Maria failed to mention she got you drunk as hell." What?

"I'm not-"

"Not even the clutziest of kids are so unsure of where their own damn foot is. You're thinking way too hard, you've gotta trust yourself. The liquor is supposed to take away fear, not grace."

I'm not sure why I giggled, and as we paused to turn and move the opposite direction, my body still felt it was moving around.

"I'm about to spin you towards the middle, don't puke." He was irritated now, and I felt terrible. He hadn't asked for a shitty partner tonight, yet here I was. I just let him sling my body around, and I grew a bit lightheaded at the speed.

"That wasn't half bad, think you can go faster?" The relief that flooded me was almost overwhelming, and I couldn't help but giggle again. I'm not sure why the little phrase had made me so happy.

Trust yourself.

The words rang in my ear as the tempo of the song picked up again, and the group of dancers split down the middle, my partner shoving me gently to line up opposite him.

As everyone stepped toward the middle again to meet their partners, I did the same; although I was half a stride behind them. My partner made up for the time, quickly spinning us around and pushing me in the direction he'd come from.

The more I relaxed, and the more I let myself move and spin and step to the music, the more fun I let myself have. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when Shanks had made me leave the ship, but I had to admit to myself that I was actually having a great time.

"Told you, just let go." He was smiling at me now, and I couldn't help but excitedly smile back.

"You know, I've never danced as far back as I can remember." I wasn't sure why it felt so good just to talk for the hell of it.

"Yeah, I could kind of tell that when we started."

I giggled again, then had to catch my breath as he spun me around again.

"Yeah, I don't think I've ever had so much fun."

It was his turn to laugh then, before we split into two lines again. He didn't have to push or pull me this time, and I was able to keep up with the pace of the rest of the line.

As the song ended, he pulled me over to Maria, who was still standing off to the side of the stage.

"You've got to stop giving me the drunk ones, man." He elbows Maria in the ribs, and she laughs, shoving him away.

"It looks like she got the hang of it by the end, be grateful she didn't vomit on you or something, Zutsu," she said, reaching over to fix my skirt.

"We've got Rove and Go next, you know that one?" Zutsu asks. "I'm not sure where the hell you came from, but I don't know anyone that doesn't know the Rove."

For some odd reason, I felt I did know the song, like it was some common knowledge that was ridiculous not to remember.

"Maybe? I'm not sure-"

"Good enough, maybe it'll jog your memory when you hear it." He pulled me back to the dance floor, into a line of dancers that snaked through the entire hall. "Listen, I usually take the lead on this one, but we'll stick to the back to keep you comfortable."

And keep me from embarrassing you. I couldn't even bring myself to be upset, Maria made it sound like the quality of performances were held in high regard by everyone here.

The tempo of this song started much faster than the last, the drums kicking in at full volume, followed by a fiddle that was one of the sweetest sounds I'd ever heard.

It was the first line of the song that sent a cold shock down my spine, and made sweat cling to my face.

Why shouldn’t she go she’s only ninety?

Delilah held out the last note of the line, and my skin grew clammy. I knew this song. I was sure I'd known this song almost as long as I had loved music itself. My hand shook in Zutsu's, and he squeezed it, muttering, "Don't puke yet," as he started stomping his feet on beat with the rest of the dancers. As if they had a mind of their own, my feet did the same.

I know the dance. I could remember every movement to the dance Zutsu was about to lead me through. I could hear it in my head, to the rhythm of the song, in counts of four.

Stomp, shuffle, stomp, shuffle-

Scoot back, back, back-

Away from your partner, back to your partner-

Holy shit.

"Look at you, you do know this one." Zutsu says, loosening his grip on my hand.

I wanted to cry, puke, and laugh all at once. I used to dance. I had to have grown up dancing. To my disappointment, I couldn't remember any more dances offhand, but it did little to stifle my excitement.

Every step, every dip, and every spin made my heart feel as it were flying through the sky over the bright ocean, free as a wild bird. I was addicted to the dizziness, the breathlessness, and the feeling of my body moving with the music. This, right here, was something I'd been born to do. I felt it in my soul the same way I'd felt when I heard Delilah sing. My body, mind, and spirit felt at peace, and I felt like I had some kind of purpose other than being the crew's fragile pet.

"Hey-" Zutsu's voice cut through my thoughts. "During the bridge, when the fiddle goes crazy, we don't keep in line, we'll split off and start two-stepping around the audience, try to get them to dance, yeah?"

"Oh- alright, got it," I said quickly. Relief swept through me as I realized I knew exactly what he was talking about. Two-stepping with a partner was one of the most basic skills I'd learned when I was just a kid- how I knew that, I had no idea. I couldn't picture memories so much as feel it, my mind trying to grasp some physical evidence that wasn't there.

Zutsu pulled me to face him, and he kept his back in the direction we traveled as we kept a fast paced two-step. I fell into the rhythm he set easily, and almost wept at how at home it all felt: the fast pace, the grip he had on my hand, and even the burning in my right calf and left hip.

"You had to have been holding out on me before," Zutsu laughed, guiding me in an impromptu spin that had a small part of the audience cheering. "You dance as naturally as you breathe when you know what the hell you're doing."

I giggled back, heart soaring at the compliment. It made me want to try more, to do something other than-

"You wanna try swing dancing some?" He asks, as if he read my mind.

I nodded eagerly, my heart pounding again as I recall the term, knowing exactly what he meant.

He pushed me out and away from him, before pulling me back in. I knew the steps by heart, I could feel them in my feet and fingers as I ducked under his arms and spun behind him, before twisting around as he caged me in his arms. He spun me around as fast as I could twice, before finishing with a dramatic dip, my "hair" nearly touching the floor.

"Please tell me you're sticking around after tonight, you're the first partner I've had that could move so damn fast."

I clicked my tongue, looking up at him with a twinge of disappointment. "I'm honestly sorry, but I'm just passing through with a group of- with a crew," I finished hastily.

He raised a brow. "Red-Haired Pirates, right? I'm pretty sure I saw you come in on the captain's arm."

I grimaced at the notion my disguise hadn't worked as well as I'd hoped. "I- yeah," I muttered weakly, sheepishly looking at the floor.

"Don't sweat the whole Emily thing," he shrugged, and did his best to wipe a few droplets of sweat from his cheek. "I only knew it was you because I've been staring you in the face, and I was close by when they dragged you backstage. No one in the audience will be able to tell." He poked me playfully. "Not even your Calico Jack of the night."

I groaned at the mention of that stupid dance. "Why do I-"

"Please don't get me booted from this place by answering that honestly. I'd hate to say anything untoward about my boss and her- interesting notions."

I decided not to press the issue, and to take comfort in the fact that Shanks was here for me to make an easy pick. I was also itching with curiosity to hear every song of the night, and to see if I could recall any more dances.

I wasn't sure my legs could take another step as the song finally ended. Zutsu made sure I took a long swig of water and sat down for a minute before disappearing backstage, leaving me with a very bouncy and tipsy Maria.

"That was- burp- incredible!" she shouted, throwing an arm around me. "No offense, but I thought it'd all go to shit."

I grimaced, choosing to focus on the compliment. "Yeah, thanks."

"You knowwww- the next dance is allll yours," she giggled, then nearly knocked me over trying to wave at one of her friends.

My mouth went dry. Already? I thought I'd have a couple more dances to get more comfortable, maybe figure out something simple to start the song with.

"Don't even sweat it, baby, you'll do great." She fixes one of the stray curls stuck in the top of my corset. "Plus, you look great, so it won't even matter."

Her reassurance did little to ease the nausea building in my gut.

---

I'll never forget the song that echoed through the room next. It wasn't anything spectacular, like the operatic section of the first performance. It was just a small tradition in a dance hall that would one day outlive me. But one moment in that song changed my life forever.

The Calico Jack song was an old ballad about a young lady running from her abusive marriage to live on the sea after meeting a handsome pirate in a tavern.

Of course, the only thing I knew at the time was that I had walk around at least once in the room, and pick a partner before the first chorus of the song started playing.

"It was a borin' Evenin' Down at the tavern My husband left for sea again And I was sick of waitin'-"

The song started, and I could feel my heart in my throat as I started my walk around the room.

All you have to do is walk once around and then to Shanks.

My steps felt too loud, the room was too big, and I was moving too fast, not really paying attention to who was actually there.

Look up, look up, look up, look up-

I tried to convince the crowd that I was looking, studying for the most eligible one there. I couldn't convince myself into thinking I was giving a good performance, however. My heartbeat grew louder as the audience cheered when I walked by, and I gave a weak smile, trying to look like I knew what the hell I was doing.

"Sick of drinkin' And thinkin' And questioning my measure Then suddenly A breeze came through the door-"

And then I caught a glimpse of him.

The most beautiful man I could ever think up in my head was sitting on the outermost edge of the crowd, sipping a glass of wine. He had a feathered hat that hung low over his face, but it wasn't enough to conceal his eyes- bright gold, with rings of orange, the strangest eyes I'd ever seen. His hair and beard were nearly black, but against his pale skin I could see the slightest tinge of brown. He was all sharp angles; high cheekbones, a sharp jawline and nose, even his facial hair was shaved into neat lines.

"He was smilin' Blindin' The pirate, Jack Rackham He tipped his hat and that was that I was in love with him-"

I would've liked to say that the great golden sword leaning on the table was what I saw next, but I couldn't. His large coat was ornate and expensive-looking; it was also completely open, his torso completely bare, save for a large golden cross hanging from his neck. Damn. That's all I could think- damn. He was, with no other way to put it, absolutely gorgeous.

And the little, nagging, tempting thought that I both curse and thank God for to this day wouldn't hush in my head. Ask him to dance.

And I wanted to. So, so, badly did I want to walk right up with all the confidence in the world and ask him to dance with me. It felt as if my entire body was burning at the prospect of even looking at him again.

"Oi, over here, Spooky!" Shanks was in front of me now, grinning and waving like the idiot he was. I mustered a weak smile back, quickening my pace and trying to ignore the feeling that the entire room was watching my every move.

Benn had to reach over and keep Shanks from standing to pull me into a hug, which I thanked him for with a polite smile. Yasopp was trying his best to make me lose my composure with stupid faces, and I was failing miserably at keeping my lips from twitching.

Maria was giving me a cheerful thumbs up, Zutsu and her blonde friend, whose name I really needed to learn, by her side as I passed around a second time. This round, I couldn't help but look for the beautiful man. Half of me hoped he wasn't there, and I wouldn't have to worry about getting up the courage to ask him anything, but the other half would have been crushed if he was gone.

He was still there, still sipping from his wine glass, in the exact same position as before, and still as devastatingly gorgeous.

Ask him, you'll regret it if you don't.

Yeah, sure, and embarrass myself to pieces if he refuses me.

I paused for an instant, hearing what sounded like the first line of the pre-chorus from Delilah. Shit shit shit shit shit-

I had to hurry along, or I'd make a fool of myself regardless of who I picked.

Shanks. I'll just go to Shanks. Maybe Benn, if he's too drunk.

But my feet carried me, trembling, to the man sipping his wine.

"Calico Jack Calico Jack I've never met a man here looking like that-"

Still trembling, I held out my hand. His eyes seemed to cut into me like knives, and he didn't move.

But neither did I.

The room had gone silent, and all I could hear was Delilah's voice and the band. Beads of sweat gathered on my forehead, and my hand faltered slightly. I did my best to give a polite smile to him, praying he would hurry up and either refuse me or take my hand.

"Calico Jack You've met your match Calico Jack Won't you give me my heart back-"

I started to turn away, ready to just ask Shanks, or piss myself, whichever came first, before I felt it.

His hand wasn't particularly warm, and it was rough with calluses that I presumed were from the giant sword sitting beside him. His touch was tentative for a split second, before committing and fully grabbing it before standing.

Damn, he was tall. I was eye-level with his collarbone, and was trying my best not to gawk at the chest below it when he gingerly grabbed my waist. I jumped at first, forgetting why I'd come up to him in the first place.

"Your friends have been trying to get you to back away since they saw you looking this way. Should you have listened?"

As bored as his tone sounded, his voice melted me like butter. Fuck. This was embarrassing.

"I just- it felt right to ask you," I blabbered, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He let out a hmf before stepping closer toward me. I snapped out of my trance at the proximity, and hurriedly stepped out toward the dance floor, pulling him with me. Maria and the rest of the dancers were in my peripheral, all looking as if I'd died in front of them.

Was it so hard to believe I could get a good-looking stranger to dance with me? I'd thought that at least Maria had some faith in me.

We settled into a fast-paced rotating two-step, and as we passed around the room, the audience grew rowdy again. I hadn't realized my decision had held so much weight here, but perhaps the little custom meant more to people here than I realized.

I dared to look back up at his face, and instantly started to sweat again as his gazed pierced through me. Shit, he was even more beautiful up close. He'd taken the lead in the dance now, and surprisingly, held himself with the grace of an experienced dancer. Judging by his looks, I could have guessed he'd waltzed or something fancy like that at some point in his life, but he didn't seem the type to be in a dark, noisy place like this. Nor did he seem to be the type to take part in dancing recreationally as a whole.

Too nervous to say anything directly to him, I offered him my best version of a pleasant smile. He remained stoic, but I could have sworn I saw the corner of his mouth prick up.

I was trying my damnest to ignore the lovely shape of his lips when he asked, "What's your name?" it was a piss-poor, stiff attempt at being polite, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"Jett."

"How lively."

I hummed in response, unsure of what to say.

"Your first dance tonight was... interesting to watch."

Oh, that was mortifying. My face burned, and I could feel my palms growing sweaty.

"I, uh, I'm new here, I hadn't danced in a while, and-"

"You were drunk?" The corner of his lip was quirked up again, just barely noticeable.

"Yeah, but-"

"And now-"

"There's no need for you to be an asshole," I muttered, my embarrassment reaching my tongue before common sense could hold it.

He gave the impression that not many people stood up to him with the way his brows furrowed just slightly. Thankfully for me, he also seemed to want to keep his composure.

He liked being in control.

Perhaps it was the lingering effects of alcohol that made me gather the courage, but that one slip in his stoic expression made me determined to make him crack.

Perhaps a small part of me wanted to see him really smile.

"So- you've been watching me tonight?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"That didn't answer the question."

"Please, if I wanted to watch someone drunkenly stumble about, I wouldn't have come all the way here." He was trying so hard to stay grumpy, it was laughable.

As controlled as his expression was, he had one fatal tell- those pretty eyes. And they seemed to like to shift the slightest bit down every now and then before looking me in the face again. There.

"You know, you might think my dancing is subpar, but you certainly don't mind peeking at my-"

His grip tightened on my waist, although his face remained neutral. Leaning down, the brim of his hat grazed my temple.

"You are the last one who can make any comments about any sort of inappropriate glances, dear." As he withdrew, he brushed a stray curl over my shoulder.

I hated that he was right, and his touching wasn't doing much to help my case.

Neither was that very open coat that revealed a little more of his waist each time stepped with his right foot. What was somehow more impressive was that he was completely unfazed by dancing. I was sweating and aching, and a few annoying bits of my "hair" kept sticking to the back of my neck.

As thrilled as I was at the chance to dance with such a handsome man, I couldn't help but think it was such a pity he turned out to be so glum. Witty, certainly, but still a bit sour. To be fair, I also couldn't judge him based on his attitude, as I also wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

We were actually quite alike, I found, as the dance ended, and the two of us were promptly pulled aside by a very loud ginger man. It seemed the both of us were equally as annoyed by him.

"Oi, Hawkeyes, I didn't know you had that in you," Shanks was slightly slurring his words, but still remained perfectly upright.

Hawkeyes? Oh, shit-

I'd just danced with the world's strongest swordsman, a fucking warlord, Dracule "Hawkeyes" Mihawk.

[sburbian-sage]

so i was gonna send this in last night but i decided to wait so i could proof read it and what not and now here i am basically re writing it

so first things first im gonna need you to have an open mind please, everything im about to say is gonna sound like bullshit, utter complete fucking bullshit and even if you dont believe me its still true because sburbs bullshittery seemingly knows no fucking bounds

there is currently a fucking massive void vessel above the session, like it vanishes into the ring on both sides and im sure it keeps going, brilliant white with leaf green highlights

was gathering some grist and it just fucking teleported it or some shit cause one second it wasn't there and then it was and it scared the fuck out of me

i spoke with the plant chick last night and while i learned some things it clearly wasn't enough because what the fuck is this?!

im hiding out of derse now and its just empty, there's no more of the little Carapacians, the 5 of our lands are also gone and i can see smaller ships going around frantically scanning local space so i assume they know i happened to get off land before it was taken (how do you take an entire land?!?!)

but before i get murderharvested or some shit here's what i was able to figure out

i managed to nab one of her computers and found that their language is seemingly similar to old alternian standard but it doesn't match to English at all and is more flowy? than jagged, as well as the letters seemingly having 2-5 characters stacked on one another, far beyond my translation capabilities

when i asked the difference between sessions she just said that there was less bees (what???)

didn't have enough time to see any structural changes from normal, other than more plants and things being kinda taller

when i asked culture questions she just laughed, called me a "curious cutie" (not sure i like how i feel about that) and said id learn soon which like FUCK ME was that a red flag apparently

not sure what to do anymore, im a rogue of void for fucks sake and even turning into nothing isn't enough to shake them, they find me within an hour and i have to flee, managed to pull off that teleportation trick that the other poster talked about but even that doesn't shake them, sending this out and then ill start moving again

ill keep in touch if i stay alive

I WAS JOKING. I WAS MAKING A JOKE WHEN I SUGGESTED SHE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT HOME BASE TO BOMB YOU GUYS TO OBLIVION AND DO GIGA-SPACE-COLONIALISM. I WASN'T MAKING A PREDICTION. FUCK.

And you are right, this does kinda sound like bullshit. There's mild precedent here, in that it is technically theoretically possible that before Entry happens and SBURB fucks an entire planet in half, that some of said homeworld's inhabitants might have boarded a ship, went into space, and managed to enter the Furthest Ring. I mean, that would require incredible foresight, highly advanced technology, surviving long enough despite the fact that the game is literally designed to kill non-players in the most ass-pull deus ex machina fashion possible, and that it is virtually impossible to enter the Furthest Ring without a Bargain. So it's a bit like sending Frosty the Snowman to the Sahara Desert to win a gladiator competition, and once he wins he has to do round two against a flamethrower squadron. Which is to say, I'll eat my own legs before I believe that you're being invaded by The Imperium of Man meets the fucking Vegandon from Johnny Test. Among the thousands of other severe questions this raises.

But on the off-chance that this isn't just a prank, here's my equally low-effort advice.

Running may not be able to solve your problems. You are a Rogue of Void who can teleport. This makes you THE most qualified person to break into their ship and sabotage the engines so shit explodes.

Running may be able to solve your problems. If you survive long enough, SBURB might suddenly remember that it's supposed to kill non-SBURB non-player entities, and so the flowery ground troopers might start tripping and shooting themselves in the fall, or the ship explodes anyway.

Threaten to Scratch the Session to get them to back off. It's basically the mother of all "I'm taking you all with me" threats, considering it will rewrite reality.

Actually, they might not know enough about the Scratch for that to intimidate them. Scratch anyway. Fuck these guys, they'll never suspect it and an alt-universe version of you gets the last laugh.

If they corner you, start coughing on them. If you win re-enacting the ending of War of the Worlds, that would be incredibly funny.