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dastodia · 9 months ago

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#DASTODIA ── a study in breaking the shackles of ones past, finding solace in found family, && taking pride in protecting others - a story told by pj

private && selective roleplay blog for dan heng && dan feng of honkai star rail

dossier. | headcanons. | credits. | rules listed below the readmore. |

Overview

To start the rules off, this is a SELECTIVE Dan Heng&& Dan Feng RP Blog. Meaning, I only interact with MUTUALS. I will not write with anyone under 18, for my own comfort- any NSFW content will only be written with muns above 21. Before you send in an ask prompt expecting a response, please check if we’re mutuals. Please check that we’re mutuals before liking any starter call I place out. Mutuals have access to my Discord, Nintendo ID/FC, and any other online social or gaming accounts. I have severe social anxiety and I absolutely will not have the capability to approach you or even respond to anything you send to me ( via DM or otherwise )— so it’ll probably be deleted or just sit there un-responded to. Please— PLEASE. Check first..

Do not reblog a thread if you are not involved. I cannot stress this enough. A like is alright and is sometimes appreciated. Thanks for liking my thread pal. Please do not for the love of all things good in the world reblog it though. I am OC friendly, though selectively. If I honestly have no idea how my muse would interact or feel about yours, then there’s a high chance that I will not want to interact. Though, most OCs I’ve seen are quite lovely and I’d be so pleased to give them love.

Threads

I want all the building of muses and relationships as I can. Cover me in threads. Just do it. Don’t even ask, just do it! I reserve the right to drop a thread or multiple if I feel like I can’t continue it or I can’t find a way to respond that would stay within reason of how my muse would respond. Of course, you have this right to use on me as well. I would ask that you at least tell me if you’re dropping it. I seriously won’t bite, but I know that I myself might not say anything because of social anxiety.. So, just do what you can when you can and expect the same from me.

I am the slowest roleplayer in existence. Though not very often, I literally can take up to 7 months to get back to something decently simple. Muses can be very flaky on me, or the general desire to write can be gone for a period. Along with that, I do have work and other things outside of roleplaying that I also have to give my attention. So, if you are wanting to thread, please understand that I can take a very, very long time to get back to you. Despite this, though, if it’s been longer than a week and I have not replied, you are more than welcome to come and ask to make sure that I have it drafted and on the list of things to get to. As well as, if you really want a thread responded to, or bumped up in the order of replies, feel free to ask. Though, don’t do so constantly, if you can help it.

Do not worry about icons- the inclusion or non-inclusion of them. The simplicity of them or the elaborate nature of them. They are not a make or break.

Do not give me one sentence responses(unless crack/that is the entire thread/post), especially if I have given you more than two paragraphs. As long as you make an effort, you do not have to match length for length. I often times will make things longer (mostly by accident) because I enjoy putting my muses’ thoughts into it or setup a thread/the backstory/information leading up to- so I do not expect you to go one-to-one with threads.

Memes && Ask Prompts

Here comes that boi– oh shIT WADDUP— Okay listen—- Ask prompts/Memes are super fun and are sometimes easier to reply to && get out than typical threads. Prompts/Inbox tends to be my priority due to the fact that I am quite forgetful and if I do not have that notification on the inbox stating there is something there I will forget about it- and I don't like leaving the lil notification on it. So if you have a thread you’re waiting on but still want some sort of interactions going on between responses, feel free to send in one of the prompts I reblog. If you send in a prompt and I respond to it, you are more than welcome to respond to it on a separate post and turn it into a thread! Or even just respond to it– Whichever tickles your fancy. Not all prompts need to be, or will be, turned into a thread. It will depend on if there is anywhere the idea can go or be expanded upon, or whether my muse will be able to go farther. I don’t expect a response to prompts, so don’t feel like you have to- but don’t hesitate if you feel a strong urge to do so! I also don’t send in prompts expecting to make them threads 100% of the time, so I do not expect the same of others.

Unless explicitly stated and/or quite obvious sent in asks are for Dan Feng (ie. individuals only around during Dan Feng's time), all asks will be assumed to be for Dan Heng.

While I don't enforce reblog karma, it's still appreciated to send one in, or don't just use me as your prompt source every single time and never send ANY in.

Godmodding/Powerplay

Just—- Don’t. This is a given, but I will still state it. Do not. I write for my muse, not yours ( vise-versa ).

However! If there comes an instance where something that might come along those lines of godmod, just clear it with me first. For instance, such as knocking his spear out of his hand and leaving him no room to go grab it. That is absolutely 100% okay!! Just make sure to ask me first. Communication is important.

Shipping

I am just as much of a shipping garbage can as the next person. However, chemistry is very important. Though, I do have biases on certain ships pertaining to my muse; our muses capability to interact is slightly more important. Also, I have no control over my muse’s romantic feelings. But, I’m also a sucker for one-sided loves, rejected feelings, platonic relationships, sibling-like relationships, rival relationships, etc.

This blog is multi-ship. However, is ship-exclusive (unless discussed between mun’s, and that all mun’s involved are okay with duel-muse-shipping). As an example: I will ship and write Dan Feng with one Xingxing, and Dan Feng with Jing Yuan. However, the Xingxing and Jing Yuan cannot ship with another Dan Feng. I ask that my partners also be ship-exclusive with me. I don’t want to see my partner shipping with another version of my muse. My muse && I will consider it cheating and will drop the ship immediately.

My insecurities prevent me from duel-muse-shipping, and will upset me if my partner does so. It will make me feel as if I’m competing for a ship, or struggle with my partner comparing which dynamic they like more, or who’s portrayal they like more. I just cannot and will not do it- either to myself or to someone else. If you do not intend to be ship-exclusive with me and the specific muse/ship, then do not expect to write a ship with me. I also ask that you are either at least semi-active OR discuss them often through dms. Non-Thread interactions and mun to mun compatibility are also important. I am a slow writer, so I can’t demand someone be at my beck-and-call, that would be unfair to you. I do like to scream about random ideas and toss music videos and random memes that I find applicable to the ship and muses. So at least be ooc ranting available if not super active. I’ve had too many ships start with people then they stop writing and/or stop talking to me, and with being a ship-exclusive, then the ship just falls apart and then the muse is left lonely. I would like to avoid repeating that.

OC's are, obviously, seen as seperate people, so more than one OC I will ship with. I however ask that you do not ship with another Dan Heng if we are writing them together and in a romantic nature.

Caelus and Stelle will be considered as separate muses. I see them as two different personalities/ways you can write them per mun, so they will not apply to this rule. So to clarify, only one Caelus and one Stelle will be shipped with, and both can be shipped with at the same time.

I do not intend to ship Dan Heng with Blade. While possible that my stance can change depending on development, I personally just do not enjoy the ship and see Dan Heng as wanting to distance himself from his past, and that includes Blade/how Blade seems to be solely for vengeance (for now) against Dan Feng, while he is no longer that person. I do, however, enjoy Dan Feng and Xingxing.

Crack threads do not apply to the ship-exclusive rule. Have fun when goofing around.

Ship perferences/biases: DanCae, DanStelle, DanMarch, XingYue/XingFeng

Ships currently active will be listed on the Character Dossier Document.

Plotting

I personally don’t mind if threads go solidly by winging it- makes them all the more enjoyable to do because you don’t know what to expect. But, I also enjoy a plotted out thread. These threads tend to go more smoothly; because then I know who to make sure things go in the direction one of us/both of us want it to go. So if we’re mutuals, feel free to come in to my DM and ask about plotting.

AUs && Crossovers

Holy nuggets I love AUs??? I just melt because so many more beautiful things to let my babies roam free in. I love making AUs and I typically don’t get a chance to actually RP within the AUs I think of– so feel free to hit me up with any of them. I don’t do too well with crossovers, unfortunately. It’s always a ‘oh hey you know *insert mutual character here* yeah? so how do you know them? oh really? well i did this *insert thing* with them’ kind of thread and I’m honestly just.. so over it? I mean if it can be pushed to something not along those lines I’ll probably be up for giving it a try.

Following/FollowBacks

Since this is a SELECTIVE blog, it may take me some time to go through and decide if I want to interact && follow you. That doesn’t mean that if I don’t follow you that I don’t think you write terribly or have a bad portrayal. No not at all. I just don’t want to spread myself so thin that I end up crashing. But, sometimes my writing style clashes with others, or I may simply not like any extra things you post on your blog ( for example: too many prompts/in such a small period of time WITHOUT any ic character posts looks too messy for me and I just personally don’t like seeing so much of it.. ) Also, the notifications tab isn’t the greatest, so I typically go to my follower page and scan through the list about once a week or two just to make sure I see who follows me. If you have a sideblog that you want to interact with me on, please let me know that it’s a sideblog. Say, for instance, that your RP blog is a sideblog to your personal, or to a different RP blog that has no relation to any of the fandoms I have muses for present, then I won’t even give the blog a second glance. Because I might be absolutely wanting to interact with you, but I just won’t know if it’s a sideblog unless told.

— So with all that stated, give me about a week ( minimum ) to follow you back.

NSFW && Triggers

I really don’t mind smut-nsfw things?? As long as it’s not like.. pictures of real life people (pornography excluded)- like an OnlyFans post style/selfies or the porn bots vibe.. you know. Text posts, drawn smut-nsfw, and those types of things doesn't bother me seeing on the dash. I still ask that you tag them but ??? I don’t really care nor mind. As for the OTHER nsfw things ( gore, blood, violence, etc. )– I’m pretty open to them? None of them really bother me, unless it’s like.. pictures. …. Yikes.

I am down for writing NSFW threads/smut, but I will not write such if you are under 21. Such threads will be placed under readmores.

I tag all generic triggers ( eye horror, epilepsy, blood, nsfw ). If you have anything you need me to tag ( mutuals or not ) please let me know if I need to start tagging something that’s more specific ( ex. pastel colours ). Trigger tags example: trigger tw.

The Mun

Name: Prince/Jehr/PJ ( Any of them are fine to use. )

Gender: Male. He/Him/His.

Age: 27

Height: Small AF

Relationship Status: Single

Residency(Currently): California, USA

Roleplay Experience: 10+ Years

Format Preference: Literature, Third Person. Can/Will do script from time to time, but not often.

Hi I am a weenie with many mental health issues and bad body joints and back pain. Hi, how are you?? I meme a lot and curse a good bit as well… I can tone it down if told to do so… . . I really don’t know what to put here.

I do have clinically diagnosed severe social anxiety and depression, so there may be times where I suddenly vanish or take a break without warning. I am not the best at initiating things, but I am getting better at it.

End note

If you’ve gone through the task of reading through all of this, thank you for your time!!! Hope you enjoy your stay on my silly blog.

#PINNED.#hsr rp #honkai star rail roleplay #honkai star rail rp #hsr roleplay

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einpressens · 1 year ago

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Ok ok ok ok ok ok okokokokoklbhghxn jvxhidycungzhfzudutsutxmbcuhiginlbnj *ultrasound scream*

You don't understand how your answer made me feel. Like no words can describe. For me your reply was emotionally equal to meeting Steven King and Jesus in one person at 5 am at convince store, while I wear a custom shirt with Devil smooching it from "it". I very much glad that it happened but how. What the chances. I was literally going around my room in circles throwing around random objects because I couldn't calm down myself. I still can't stop smiling, even tho my face is hurting a little.

I don't even know how to describe it properly. I'm not a writter. It's just like, understand me, I'm very small artist. Like literally all my active followers in all of my social media combined can be counted using one hand. There's two at insta. There's one on twitter. And two mutuals on Tumblr. My art don't do well, and that understandable, I'm not drawing much, don't post often and don't chase trends even if I find them interesting. Just don't have much time right now.

And then a very cropped drawing of my wip that has 2 tags, it even doesn't have "my art" tag that I use to make search for my artworks on this blog easier. I didn't expected it to do better than any other. It's even miracle that it even was posted at all.

I long ago decided to post something at least onece a week. What to post didn't mattered, just something once a week, wip, sketch on napkin. Just post something to kill perfectionist in myself. And I kinda missed a lot of weeks and forgot about it. And then I go to a planer that I didn't Opened for more than a month and it Is time to post something to my socials. And there's yet nothing to post. Lineart was barely finished. So I move to next day. And then on next day I have this. And just post it without much care. Just quickly cropped out 90% of the work post it, and just continue working as if didn't happened at all.

I did such bare minimum for it and then it kinda blows up. It has almost 1000 views on twitter alone which is kinda crazy for me. Even if most of them prob scrolled past it without paying much attentio. They have seen it. And then author themselve noticed it. Noticed the work that was two (ok one, smpard did heavy lifting here ngl) tag away from being untraceable, you prob wouldn't have see it if I just tagged it as just wip like I first planned.

It feels like I'm in some cheese success story movie right now. Just look how my day went from my perspective. I posted my wip in the middle of the night in my timezone 'cuz I have unhealthy habit of monitoring notes for one hour after posting. I wake up and there's 18 notification in my Tumblr. They all but two are from my year old drawing, which is resurfaced a little. "Neat" say I to myself and go to college, don't touch social media the whole day and just reread your fic in a little bit of spare time that I have (which wasn't a lot today). Then came back open Tumblr and I blasted by notes, it's one of my most interacted with drawings of this half of year (which mostly as most number of my notes can be without problem be converted into a binary code which reads as "0"). And better of all I got one reply where in the tags a person was as unhinged about them as me. Of course I reply back cuz I'm overjoyed and then this person is actually author of the work for which I do my fan art. Like I probably should have expected you look for sampard fan art at least a little bit. But to find my artwork. And on Tumblr nonetheless.

Also you probably don't fully understand how much your fic mean to me. It was not only my first ever sampard fic it was the fic that hooked me on this ship. Your work is the reason I currently have 5 sampard wips and another 10 ideas written down. Before this fic I wasn't interested in this ship at all. The only reason I readed it was that I started to get overwhelmed by renheng and decided to read something easy, something I'm not so invested in. And then it consumed me even more that renheng. And now I'm here. Your fic fas so good that it me obsessed sampard shipper. And tbh before reading it I didn't like the ship. I always thought that it was kinda silly because they have 0 interactions in canon, so I thought there's wasn't a lot of chemistry between them and can't be. Well you proved me wrong. How much you proved me wrong. Thanks. Genuinely. I love how you characterize them not only together but individually, how you write intimate moment's between them. I wanna praise your work for hours I love it so much. But I kinda need to sleep right now so. You so so so good. Love your work.

I'm so happy that my silly wip of fan art made you feel the same way as your fic made feel me.

P. S. Sorry for long text and prob broking English in a couple of places it's isn't my native language.

P. P. S. Can you give me the name of your mane Tumblr blog so I could tag you when I post finished art. At first I planned to send you a link to fan art on my twitter into your AO3 dm's (?I don't AO3 much. Is it even have those), and still can if you prefer it.

P. P. P. S. Glad you did like hands position and emotions. It took a lot of time to figure out how to properly position them. Also about clothes, I like drawing genshin of star rail character without their overdesigned nightmare of clothings or simplifyed versions, so your fic descriptions were kinda perfect for me. Also I did a little bit of diversion from your description. I didn't touch Sampo's clothing for the most part. But I decided to make Gep's coat muted blue as blue one of main colors in his design and The scene was supposed to be dark so I need to make him stand out.

P. P. P. S. I wanna read next chapter very strong but I hope that you will take your time. As an artistic that once got burn out so much I couldn't forse myself to do any kind of drawing it's better to take relatively short break then burn out for long period of time. I don't know you and how much you need this advise. I hope you don't need it at all. It's just kinda was on the back of my mind and I decided to write it in p.p.p.p.s.

Colors are hRD but bois are Sotf

#it's almost 2 am and I don't think I can be sleep for at least an hour #I need to wake up to 6 am #well who needs coffee when the rush of energy of your reply is enough to keep me awake for hours on end #I'm glad you liked it #but if I knew how much it blows up I wouldn't tag it #how the fux i did write all of this #sry for read long just thought are many #it's 3 am my head hurts but I still can't stop being so happy #also the fact that you remembered my lio promise in comments and my username also #it's kunda feels nice #also the drawing has like 11 notes #what was chances that author is going to be one of them #also it feels kinda cringe right now that I said chapter number to specify where exactly this scene is #like I was preaching Bible to Jesus or something #to Jesus King I guess

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staticl0ve · 2 years ago

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Home - DBH Connor/AFAB!reader

Pairings: Connor/AFAB Reader (no pronouns used) Rating: Mature/Explicit/NSFW 18+ Link (AO3): Home (oneshot) Words: 4.9k Warnings: Established relationships (married), no gendered pronouns, oral sex (both receiving), mutual masturbation, PnV sex, very mild cock warming Summary: It’s Valentines! The day of being smothered in affection, cards, flowers. A day to be wined and dined. However, you’re on the other side of the globe. That doesn’t stop him from finding ways to enjoy your company. Although, you’ve got a little surprise for him. Notes: After writing a sad, sad fic, I present to you, a happy fluff one haha. Inspired by Dream (Shawn amended).

Since the winter storms had eased, parks have begun to draw more and more visitors as the days warmed up. Snow melted into watery pools. Birds lined the power lines and barren trees were beginning to show signs of fresh leaves.

With his eyes shut, Connor was basking in the glow of the sun. From sound alone, he could piece together all that was occurring around him. Someone was selling hotdogs, their jovial advertising occasionally reminding him of the low, low price of their goods. From what he gathered, the preserved meat wrapped in carbohydrates attracted quite a crowd.

Children squealed and giggled as they rushed past his seat on a park bench, followed by the distressed scolding of exhausted parents. Joggers added to the commotion, their padding feet startling his canine companion. A blue leash was wrapped around his hand, the firm material tugging slightly at his synthetic skin. Sitting up, he reached below his knee to scratch the ears of an excited Saint Bernard.

“Sumo,” he chuckled. “It’s okay boy.”

The dog whined in response and let out a playful bark.

Connor relaxed back onto the bench, turning his attention away from Sumo. Across the park’s lake was a familiar duo on their second lap around the water. Hank’s grayed hair billowed around his face he walked. A hilariously large smile pinned his cheeks in a permanent state of glee, making him appear like a smitten fool. Beside him, a woman named Rose matched his pace, wrapping a patterned shawl tightly around her frame. It was clear she was laughing at something Hank had said, his cheeks tinged bright red and growing redder when her hand met his arm.

They met sometime after the android revolution and found they shared a passion for android rights. One interest of hers was owning a small farm. While Hank did not have a green thumb, he enjoyed the tranquility of the sun rising over leafy crops. He also had the great fortune of trying the produce in her cooking. After having taken a long break from dating, the older gentleman was likely excited because today was their first Valentines.

Connor’s jaw clicked, LED flashing gold for a second. Ah. That was why he was asked to dogsit for the afternoon.

A sigh emptied from his chest. Irritatingly, as the android began scanning the park, he realized there were an awful lot of couples enjoying the lovely weather on a particularly romantic weekend. He nervously toyed with a ring on his left hand as he wondered how you were fairing on your work trip. One month was probably a record time for the longest either of you had gone without the other.

Seeking a distraction, Connor started scrolling through his notifications. Grids in blue lines flickered across his view of the park. His distress was apparent enough to warrant a soothing hand lick from Sumo, the dog moving to rest his fuzzy face on Connor’s lap.

“Thanks, boy.”

He let out another sigh. His inbox remained unchanged since the last message he received.

Love you.

Two simple words taunted him, reminding him of the physical distance between you. It didn’t help matters that your call last night ended abruptly.

“So,” you began with apprehension dripping in your voice. “There’s a chance I might be away a little longer than expected. The team really thinks one more meeting will get this deal closed. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, I swear if they try this again…I’m…”

You were losing steam, clearly too tired to think of anything clever, finishing your sentence by hanging your head back. Connor took longer than normal to respond, the android cycling through a series of phrases that would downplay his disappointment. Deciding that he couldn’t trust himself, he settled on vague.

“I see.”

He may have forgotten he was on a video call, the downward shift in his features spelling out his mood.

“Connor,” you breathed out, sinking back into your hotel bed. Sunlight filtered through thin curtains. A breeze picked up from an open window, casting intricate shadows over your cheeks, lips and nose. Your eyelids were half open, either from the brightness or from an exhaustion he couldn’t quite place. He worried briefly if you slept well, if your accommodations were enough. As you nestled between blankets, he could make out the flimsy strap of your shirt slipping past your shoulder. A twang struck his chest. Your lips parting brought his attention back to your face. “This sucks for me, too.”

“I know,” he replied, sounding deflated. “I miss you.”

You rolled from your back to your side, finding a new angle for your phone. The tone of your voice changed, dipping into more sultry notes. “What do you miss?”

Oh, he wasn’t made yesterday. He grinned as his fingers plucked away shirt buttons.

“Your taste,” he answered, wetting his lips. His boldness took you by surprise, a small moan crackling through the call.

Across the globe from where you were situated, it was night in Detroit where he was sitting at the end of your shared bed. The room was left untouched, a time capsule of when you were last there: your brush carelessly tossed onto the bed along with clothes and accessories that didn’t make the cut. Without you around, it was easy for him to slip back into his old habits and avoid sleep. Stasis wasn’t a daily requirement for machines and it certainly did not take all night to reset caches and organize his expanding matrixes.

“How much time do you have?” he asked. His shirt had joined your pile of abandoned clothes and he was making quick work on his pants.

Your gaze was drawn to some distant corner, likely checking on a virtual calendar. “An hour or two…I think.”

His regulator pump stuttered when you glanced back at him, the heat of your full attention causing him mild discomfort in his remaining boxer briefs.

You bit your lip playfully. “What did you have in mind?”

“Will you lie back for me?” Obediently, you did as he asked, propping up your phone on a pillow to maximize the angle. He groaned softly once he realized you were bare from the waist down. Your thighs fell open slowly, the light catching onto your wet folds. “rA9, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

He heard your giggle as he worked to rid himself of his last article of clothing. “Will you show me how much you’ve missed me?” he requested.

You made a show of it, dragging your hands slowly from your clothed chest, rolling each nipple until they hardened. A bright glint caught his eye, his gaze following a ring on your hand. He had one that matched it, a white gold band that was cool on his heating skin. It bumped along his length as his hands leisurely stroked up and down. He adjusted his audio output to maximize the obscene squelch of damp skin, smirking when he caught your reaction to it.

“You look so good like this,” he whispered. “Laid out for me to see.”

“C-Con…” Your whimper made his grip tighten.

Funny enough, this was the first time he’d ever done this, a thrill running through his systems. He was beginning to see the appeal as he watched you push a finger past your folds.

“I miss…” you muffled a moan as your other hand began rubbing circles over your clit. It took significant effort to speak, the sentence pinching off with a gasp. “I miss f-feeling you in my throat.”

Connor made a choked noise as he painted a pretty picture of his tongue curled deep in you. How you’d squirm if he accompanied the feeling with his length slipping down your throat. He imagined a game of who could make the other fall apart sooner. It would be a little unfair, the android was more than capable of delivering filth with his tongue preoccupied by highjacking speakers or simply using his audio unit to speak.

“You look stunning. Would you like to see what I see?”

He made good on his promise one day by commandeering the television to broadcast a memory he had of you on your knees, made you watch as he licked into you. This was a stark contrast to the man who nearly stumbled over—as he was standing still, mind you—from asking you out.

“Do you like dogs?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cute.”

“Would you like to walk one? I mean, walk me—walk with me and a dog?”

Embarrassment was putting it lightly, he was mortified for not relying more heavily on the suggestions offered by his social modules. Your enthusiastic smile doused his panic.

“I’d love to.”

It took many dates, but he worked through his nerves and gave you a peek of the deviant hunter that still lurked beneath his sweet, tender exterior. All it took was stumbling through the darkness of your apartment, his hands following your waist and one messy collision of lips to unlock the man you knew today.

“Connor…”

“Y-yes, love?”

“Wish you were h-here,” you said between moans.

He was about to respond when an alert from Detroit Police Department took up half his sight. “Sorry. I—” he trailed off, focused on writing up a reply. The sight of you knuckle deep in yourself had set him completely off track tonight. “I forgot I was on call.”

“Wait, I thought you weren’t doing night shifts anymore? Something about fair labor and giving androids reasonable shifts?”

“Correct, however, overtime is still optional and I have been waiting for some forensics results.”

Talking about homicide was the nail in the coffin of your phone sex session. Your throat cleared and you sat back up in your bed with a worried look. “Is it the case you’ve been stuck on?”

“It is…” Connor sounded distracted, his eyes panning over text you couldn’t see.

“Should we…”

He apologized again. “Rain check?”

“Mhmm. Don’t work all night.” You kept your tone light, but he could detect the disappointment from your gaze drifting lower.

“I’ll try not to. Have a good day, my love.”

“Night, Connor.”

Come morning, he sent you a message, optimistic that he’d be hearing from you again. Hours passed and his notifications remained unchanged. Before he knew it, it was time to take Sumo out for a walk. An afternoon at the park had boosted his mood and while Rose was kind enough to extend an invitation to spend his evening with them, Connor knew better than to intrude on their date night.

“Are you sure, dear?” she insisted. The older couple shared a quick glance. “We’d be happy to have you.”

Her head tilted at him, shoulders slouching with her hands clasped together. The extra attention made Connor’s cheeks flush. Somehow, despite lacking a childhood, Rose managed to transcend synthetic experiences, making him feel as small as a child standing between two doting parents. It didn’t help that Hank’s palm rocked his shoulders with a few rough shakes.

“We wouldn’t mind the company, son.”

Connor shook his head, making extra effort to hide the golden hue of his indicator. “Thank you for the offer, but I have plans.”

A lie, but the two did not push.

After a full day of slobbery kisses from Sumo, a shower was the first thing on Connor’s mind. As soon as he stepped out, hair still dripping, he found himself gravitating to his side of the bed. There, he laid staring into space, still restless from last night. You had been difficult to reach and he assumed it was related to your recent uptick in workload.

His head was turned, cheek pressed into a pillow as he stared over at your side. Raising his arm, he moved to stroke his fingers along the cool material. When he brought it closer, he couldn’t resist taking a deep inhale. Your scent flooded his sensors, triggering an array of fond memories, like the one before you left. His software began constructing the scene. It was like he was there again, with his face nuzzled between the curve of your neck and jaw, his ticklish breath eliciting a small laugh from you.

“Morning,” he said softly.

“What time is it?” you replied with a jolt at the end of the question. The first thing on your mind was not missing your flight.

“We have time.” A plastic hand slipped between your thighs, quickly finding its target. He wondered what you dreamed about as his fingers slipped through your folds with ease.

“You’re going to…ah…make me late.”

Back in reality, Connor was beginning to feel foolish for bothering with undergarments. An obvious bulge strained against soft cotton and he wasted little time in slipping the elastic band lower to free himself. His fingers stroked the swollen head of his cock, wetting his hand with his own slick as he relived the memory of plunging his fingers into your wet heat.

He moaned into your pillow while wrapping his hand around his length, pumping his hips into his fist like a beast in a rut. The holographic creation of you arched into his chest, joining his moans with gasps of your own.

Connor continued watching the replay—his favorite part—when he replaced his fingers with his cock. Your face was pressed into the pillow, body twisted to present your hips to him.

“I thought you were worried about the time?” he teased as the flat of his palm followed your curves.

You responded with a glare, lining yourself up to him. Before he had a chance to react, you sunk him down to the hilt.

“A-ah…!” he gasped.

“Then you better hurry,” you answered with a wink.

When his hand wasn’t enough, he pulled additional sensory data from his memory, groaning loudly into the room as he felt the tightness of your muscles. He just about lost it when you moaned his name, pleading for him to go faster. His teeth bit into his lower lip as his legs tensed, toes curling into sheets. What little control he had of his limbs left him as he chased his end with frantic thrusts. He had lost sight of his constructed fantasy, eyes clamping shut as electricity shot up and down his spine.

“F-fuck…fuck…” he whimpered, thankfully remembering to not spill all over the sheets.

As his software anomalies began to recover and static no longer dominated his vision, he slumped back onto his side of the bed with his eyes fixed onto the ceiling. He was still the perfect storm of unsatisfied with his limbs simultaneously buzzing for action and his heart not much fuller. Perhaps a bit of stasis would do him some good.

His lashes fluttered and the moonlit ceiling faded into darkness.

It used to be a running joke that androids dreamed of electric sheep. After the revolution, when Connor attempted stasis, what he saw made his thirium grow cold. An empty virtual garden greeted him, lit up by one spotlight like a theatrical stage in an abandoned warehouse. But there was no Amanda and no snow waiting to freeze his metal limbs. When he willed for it to all disappear, he was rewarded with an empty gray box as his new surroundings. It was then that he realized he could change the garden.

Some days he made it his workspace so he could walk through crime scenes and solve cases while his processes recalibrated in the background. Tonight, his imaginations were fixated on you. For the most part his dreams were innocent, filled with reliving his favorite memories or ones he wanted to experience. Such as him lying in bed with your arm draped over his waist and your lips pressed against his neck.

You might say something like: “Surprise, I’m back.”

Strangely, the pressure and heat on his arm felt more tangible than it should have been. His head shifted, peering down at your virtual form as you repeated yourself.

“I’m back. Wake up, love.”

He missed this, your voice spoken without the support of cell towers or the subtle breath between words that no microphone could capture. Bits and pieces of reality filtered through his dreamworld. Warm fingers trended down his arm and he was receptive to your touch, his skin flickering between flesh and plastic tones. He felt your hand entangle with his until your wedding bands lined up, clicking together as if magnetized.

“Did you have a nice dream? I’ve never had this much trouble waking you,” you chuckled.

“Well,” he responded with the corner of his mouth curling. “This is a major improvement.”

“Is that so?”

The hand holding yours slipped out to grip your wrist and tugged. Immediately, you froze, managing to stop his momentum by placing a palm down onto the mattress.

“Wait, wait. I’m still wearing the clothes I traveled in!” you cried out.

“That is a solvable problem, my love.”

He sat up, brown eyes gleaming and face pulled in a smile that seemed too pure and sweet, too brimming with joy to match the frenzied, desperate movement of his hands working to shed your clothes. A palm dragged across the expanse of your rib cage, synthetic fingers digging lines into skin. You tried to be an active participant by squirming out of the cotton T-shirt. As he pulled it over your head, it stuck momentarily and you had to share a laugh at human clumsiness interfering with machine efficiency. He breathed out a sigh once you were freed.

You gently stroked his cheek. “So…what were you dreaming about?”

“You,” Connor said with his chin resting above your abdomen. He moved to work on your jeans, laying one kiss below your belly button, his nose nuzzling close before laying more scattered kisses lower.

“Was I doing anything in your dream?”

Your fingers met soft strands of brown hair, enjoying how they separated and slipped out of your grasp. You watched him ghost his fingers across the edge of the denim waistband, suddenly more patient than he was earlier. His tongue tapped your skin, distracting you from his fingers unbuttoning and unzipping. The light on his head spun as he processed data beyond your comprehension. Whatever Connor discovered left him moaning into your skin.

Large palms dug between fabric and the backs of your thighs, pushing it down. As you stepped out of the pile of clothes, he pulled you by the waist, dragging your hips down with him. You were higher up on the bed than you expected, parting your thighs around his shoulders. He watched you intensely between his lashes, using his hands to coax your hips closer to his face.

“You were lying here…with me.” His voice was rough and mixed with audio interference.

“That’s it?” you teased. “Just us, cuddling?”

Connor wasn’t listening anymore, or more, he was too focused on something else entirely, his sight set on the apex of your thighs. His grip slipped down to keep you still as he peppered light kisses up your inner thigh. You felt his lips travel higher, his teeth faintly tracing your skin. The faintest pressure was applied to your entrance, his tongue barely licking your folds. Connor was a man on a self imposed mission, pushing his tongue forward to swirl the nerves above. He shouldn’t have chuckled at your desperate whine, the former deviant hunter enjoying the grip he had on his catch of the day.

Could you blame him? Seconds of delay was a lifetime to a machine, now imagine a month of time to make him unhinged.

“Can I at least turn around?” you asked. “I promise it’ll be—” Connor’s lips wrapped around your clit, tongue curling in waves. “—good!”

Pulling at his hair did not persuade the android, his brow arching defiantly from between your thighs. Instead, he followed the force of your warning tug, pushing his face closer and dipping his tongue to lick at your clenching muscles. Your pleas fell on deaf ears and you shuddered in his grip. He could almost feel you tipping over the edge before he released you, lying back to flash you a broad, guilt-free grin.

“Alright, now you can move.”

You mumbled vague, teasing threats as you shuffled over to face away from him, your eyes set on his neglected cock. Leaning over to support your weight on your elbows, you brought your hands around his length and his hips excitedly followed. You were slow, using both thumbs to tease his tip, smearing his slick over the angry red flesh.

“S-sweetheart,” he choked out.

“Don’t sweetheart me,” you teased. “Not when you were being evil a second ago.”

Hearing you talk about it only encouraged him, his tongue giving your clit a quick flick.

“Can you blame me?”

“Mmm…Yes!” Determined to not be distracted by Connor, your mouth hovered over him, tongue peeking out in anticipation.

What came out of his audio unit was barely human as you unexpectedly swallowed as much of him as you could. It stung a little, your throat stretching to accommodate his size, but it was worth it to feel him squirm. You used everything you had at your disposal, your fingers, stroking and squeezing when your mouth pulled off him, your tongue curling around the hot and heavy shape of him, and your moan, which served to tighten your throat in the sweetest torture.

A torrent of software anomalies cut through the darkness behind his closed eyes but it did not deter him from maneuvering his fingers to stroke your tensing walls, nor did it ruin his focus as his tongue flicked your clit at inhuman speeds. The RK800 indulged—basked in your presence. If there was anything Connor enjoyed the most, it was seeing you come apart, to feel you writhe in his grasp, to flooding your senses like you did to his.

Your shoulders tensed, skin feeling impossibly hot and tight as his fingers continued to summon a spark that climbed up your spine. It built up, until there was nowhere left for it to go except explode in fizzes that consumed your nerves. His name was a muffled cry in your throat, one that triggered his own end.

You heard him curse as he lapped once more into your pulsing core, followed by a string of words that you couldn’t hear over the ringing in your ears. You did hear his chuckle, felt him rest his damp cheek on your thigh.

“Are you still with me?”

By some small mercy, you hadn’t choked on him as he was still in your mouth. Releasing him with a wet pop, you replied, “No. I’m pretty sure you just killed me.”

He laughed while you managed to untangle from him to turn and face him, returning to straddle his thighs. He joined you in an upright position and you met his gaze, followed the subtle twitch of his irises as he focused on your blissed out smile. Perhaps it was the culmination of distance, time, or the stresses of work and finally…coming home, a weight was simultaneously lifted as a new one settled in your chest. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to finally enjoy his welcoming embrace.

“I couldn’t wait to get back to you,” you whispered in the dark.

He stroked your sweat slick skin, tracing the gentle curve of your back.

“Did you know, I was afraid to go into stasis when you were away?”

“What?” You sat up straighter in the bed, knees falling further apart. Connor shifted strategically, brushing your core with his tip. “What do you mean?”

“I had a theory it would only make me miss you more.”

“Oh…Connor.”

“When I woke, you were here so…” He leaned in, finally getting the kiss he’d been yearning for. You could feel the upward tug of his lips, the sugary, tooth rotting affection he so desperately wanted to convey. “Now I’m going to be sorely disappointed if this isn’t always the end result.”

“Ooo, maybe this is still a—”

Connor interrupted your playful remark, capturing your lips with the gentle push of his hand around the back of your neck. You still hovered over him and he whimpered into the kiss when you circled your hips. He broke away first, slowly, as if to say he wasn’t going anywhere, the heat of his exhaust still warm and close on your skin.

A blue light shimmered from his fingertips down to his elbows, revealing the intricate panels of his synthetic muscles. His palms buzzed faintly around your cheeks. Warm honeyed eyes, tinted with an electric blue hue held yours captive.

“I love you,” he said, voice low and quiet.

You captured one of his hands with yours, repeating his words with as much devotion as you could. “I love you too, Connor.”

Together, in sync, you sank onto him as he rose up to push into you. Wrapping his arms tightly around your back, his fingers kneaded your skin as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Your arms fit over his shoulders, cradling his face. He prepared you more than enough, sliding in with ease until you sat comfortably on his lap.

“I’ll never get enough of this,” he half slurred on your collarbones as he licked and sucked the flesh. “Of you.”

You dipped your head, meeting his dazed eyes. “You have me. You’ll always have me.”

Your words stoked a new fire in him as he began to bounce you over his lap. When his mouth began searching for yours, he laid sloppy kisses up your jaw until he claimed your lips. He licked into your mouth like he couldn’t get enough of being a part of you, driving the point further home with deep, slow thrusts. When he pulled you off his lap, he kept you stretched open, only to slide back at an angle that had you clawing his neck and shoulders. Pressed this close, his pelvis rubbed against your clit and you were certain you wouldn’t last.

The thought went out the window when he freed his hand to slip between your bodies. It would be a cramped and uncomfortable position for a man, but his joints could tolerate odd angles. His fingers alternated between slow sweeping strokes and quick circles. He could tell when you were close, extended your pleasure for both of your sakes with his well timed fingers.

A sensation of being build up and up, like an elevator that seemed to go on indefinitely tugged at the edges of your mind. It was worse than waiting for a beat that promised to drop.

“Connor!”

If his soft grunts and moans were anything to go by, the RK800 was thoroughly enjoying himself. His nose was on your neck and he could feel your heart pounding through thin skin.

“Almost there. You’re doing so…” he moaned, feeling your muscles begin to spasm. “S-so, well.”

“Connor…I’m…please…!”

He pulled you flush into his lap, burying himself as deep as he could go, striking the last frazzled nerve you had left. It wasn’t nearly as intense as your first one but it contained a closeness that the other one did not. Connor slowed the movement of his thrusts and you felt him fill and stiffen before a wash of warmth trickled into you. You both rode out each others highs for a few more moments, stroking each others backs lovingly and him, lovesick as he was, had a grin spreading from ear to ear.

When you both settled down a bit, he made movements to gently lift you. Your legs clamped tight, dissuading him.

“W-wait. Can we…stay together? Like this?” you asked.

Even though your suggestion made him twitch from within you, he nodded, knowing you both desired a different kind of intimacy. He wiped a stray bead of sweat off your brow. “Of course.”

Your thighs ached in protest as your body decided your knees didn’t make good weight bearing cushions.

“Maybe we can try lying down?”

He leaned backwards, guiding you down with him, careful to not disturb how you were both still connected. You relaxed and laid your head on his chest.

“What happened to your extra meeting?” he asked, tone light and curious.

“Uhh…I kinda told them I had a family emergency.”

“Sweetheart,” he replied, slightly worried, not about the family emergency, it was obvious enough that you had lied to get back to him sooner.

“They’ll be fine without me. They signed when I landed in Detroit so…”

Connor made a poor attempt at a chiding scoff but couldn’t mask his smile. You pivoted your hips to distract him, and it did, briefly.

“I do not condone your actions…”

“But…?” you probed.

“I am glad to have you home.”

You hummed something back to him. It mostly sounded like gibberish even to his sharp ears. When he glanced down at you, he found your eyes shut, breathing even. Eventually, your body would protest for sleeping in such a strange position. He’d slip you off of him to your side of the bed, clean you off with a warm towel and tuck you both back into bed.

As for now…

His arm draped over your back and the other pulled the covers up. Connor laid a gentle peck on your forehead, caught the slight lift in your lips and couldn’t help but lay one more kiss down. He let out a deep sigh, content to shut his eyes and join you in a short slumber.

“Sweet dreams, my love.”

#my writing #detroit become human #dbh fanfic #dbh connor #rk800 #reader insert #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #connor rk800 x reader

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yanderecandystore · 4 years ago

Note

Hey, I love your work alot you're an incredibly skilled writer and always look forward to seeing your notification pop up! Is it ok if I request Adrien pinning a male reader down while they're alone?

A Adrien solo headcanon? How fun, boo!

Sure thing.

Sorry boo, even if I really liked your idea I've been having a lot of headaches (sorry if it's tmi, but: Periods fuckin sucks-).

I hope you don't mind if I redo your ask another time, probably a better one shot than- Whatever the hell I was thinking when writing this XD

TW/Tags: bullying but like- That's no surprise lol- // mentions of past encounters // perhaps mutual simping? // short hc, sorry about that boo ;-; // Terrible quality for an headcanon

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Sorry I don't have a title- [Yandere!Bully OC (Adrien) x M!Reader - Headcanon]:

You have been running around this place for quite some time now, Amaryllis Academy is quite big after all.

You suspected that someone like him would not have enough stamina to continue pursuing you like this. And the truth is that he didn't have enough of an athletic build to hold it for so long, he just changed his strategy.

You also weren't necessarily interested in exercising everyday, you could say that maybe you two have the same amount of stamina, the difference being that you decided to waste it all while trying to run from him- And he decided to plan a way to corner you.

No one can blame you for falling so easily to that, but let's be honest- You should have seen this coming the moment he stopped chasing you and started coming forward very calmly.

"Why didn't I stop running as well?" You thought out loud now that you find yourself in a no ways out situation, great, just great.

You were choking on your own air- Completely out of breath having a hard time bringing more oxygen to your lungs. You take a look back and notice who was walking in- Wow, how surprising.

"- Ugh, come on-" you were not really pissed off, or surprised, or even scared anymore, you were just tired of having to run from this guy. One would think that someone like him isn't capable of hurting a single fly, but those who doubted him would end up having a big wake up call- Just like you did.

Do you remember now? It was in a similar situation like this- You were cornered, out of breath, your legs were giving up and couldn't even fight anymore. The only difference from that moment to now was that there wasn't anyone else here, except you two.

No audience this time, this was the backstage and you two were the actors getting their costumes out. At least that's how he saw it, to you it was just like any other time he would bully you. How wrong were you to think that.

He didn't make any attempts at running at you, and as you tried to help yourself on the walls beside you, he clapped at your latest performance.

"- Bravo, Are you happy with yourself now? That you managed to make a fool out of yourself?" His voice wasn't as bored as he usually was, it sounded filled with sarcasm with a hint of true anger in it.

Despite that, you weren't sure what he was talking about. I mean- You know what happened, but you can't recall a single moment where you have made him so pissed off.

"- You tried your hardest to get me to this point, and congratulations- You did it-" Adrien was holding himself from lashing out as much he could, he was feeling humiliated and the fact you're so unaware as to way makes him want to choke you. Put his arms around your neck and force you to at least look at him when he is talking with you.

You tried to remember what could have possibly made him so desperate to get back at you, and as you do, you can feel your blood pulsating inside your skull- You can recall one incident that happened yesterday.

Yesterday, you were avoiding Adrien as best as you could, while also trying to make new friends that could help you get away from him for a bit longer. You started talking with a shy girl in your class, you thought that it would be easier to get to know someone who is mostly alone all the time then going straight to the popular crowd- Who would absolutely dismiss you or even do worse things considering Adrien's influence over them.

You started talking to a girl you thought to be an outcast just like yourself, maybe you two could have been friends- But that didn't last too long after you realized exactly why she would be so distant from other people, apparently she was one of those who were… A little too into other people's relationships, more specifically your relationship with Adrien.

She only started talking with you because of how much time you spent with Adrien, how suspicious it is for someone like him to be so clingy towards you. Her endless nagging was horrible but even worse was how she had planted the idea in her head that you two have been dating or something- You tried arguing that Adrien has done nothing but bullying you and distancing yourself from others, but she couldn't really listen to you, or even care enough to try.

You were heavily reconsidering your options, after all it didn't seem like you two would really work out together- But before you considered ditching her, Adrien had confronted you about walking around with her.

He was acting like his usual bratty self, keeping himself calm and still holding that stern look in his face, but the actual contents of his speech were a bit concerning- It sounded like he was really jealous of you hanging out with a "creep like her", as he said.

You tried calming him down to not create a bigger scene, but your new "friend" had pushed Adrien to end up bumping on you, which only made the situation to escalate.

Adrien took this whole thing as a plan you both created to make himself seem like a fool, this was just an attempt to get his attention and he fell for it- He got red and started yelling at you two, his threats sounding like barks.

That's why he was chasing you today, at least that's why you thought so- Although the truth was a bit deeper than that, dearest. That whole event didn't slip through his mind even when he was asleep, he dreamed about the incident- Although with a thin veil of something a bit… Uncalled for in his opinion.

In Adrien's head, the accident made it look like he was hugging you, which made him get flustered and panicky. He had a dream about the whole scene happening again, but without your friend and without any of the other students, it was very pathetic of him to imagine a scenario where you would be there for him, to get him when he falls, how wishful.

He blames you for such a dream, just as if he would blame you if he ever got a dream about you cheating on him- Regardless of how your actual relationship is currently.

His own delusions and anxious thoughts would get the best of him, and that's why you're in this exact situation- Feeling out of breath with no one to save you from Adrien.

You felt yourself almost lose your balance and almost hit your face in the concrete, but thanks to Adrien slamming your back against the wall you didn't need to scratch your face, at least that's a positive.

You didn't pay much attention to what he was saying, you were just kinda pissed off of having to deal with this brat's bs everyday. Although, you're very aware that Adrien can be a bit more than just a brat, sometimes you have to remind yourself of that- It wouldn't be pretty to make him mad.

Bullying you, hating you, liking you, loving you- All are so difficult to manage everyday, it's too much work for someone like him. It's exhausting overthinking about you every day.

"- …. Sigh- You're very annoying, very, very annoying…." all that anger that was previously in his voice has almost gone away, being slowly replaced with tiredness. Key word being "almost", he was tired but not over his own jealousy yet.

You didn't want to provoke him considering how, well- Dangerous this situation is, or could be if you do the wrong thing. It's a 50/50 chance of you finding a way to comfort him without him lashing out once again. Then again, nothing can prevent him from getting the wrong idea of your actions, so choose wisely your next move, dearest.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere oc #yandere bully #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc headcanon #yandere bully x reader #yandere bully x male reader #male reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request

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angryschnauzer · 4 years ago

Text

Superior Specimen - Chapter 6

Summary: One night when you are following the Archaeology tag on instagram you stumbled across a fun looking dig… and an even more interesting Paleontologist who soon follows you back. Over the following weeks you start chatting and a friendship soon grows.

Relationship: AU Henry Cavill x Female Reader (No race or body shape mentioned)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Warnings: Slow Burn, NSFW, 18+, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Drunken Piggy Back Rides, Oral Sex (Female Recieving), Drama, Theft, Amateur Heroics, Hospital Visit, Shower Sex, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Blow Job, Fingering, Lavish lifestyle, Henry is loaded, The Shard, Expensive Gifts, Sixty nine, Unprotected Sex

I do not operate a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, as you will then be notified whenever i post something new.

I don’t have a masterlist, but all my works are on AO3, link here. Usually i post oneshots to Tumblr and AO3, and multichapters exclusively to AO3, but as this is my first henry story and its going to be a short series, i’ll post to both places.

Chapter 6

Henry left soon after, grabbing a slice of toast as you’d stood in the kitchen in just your dressing gown, apologising for not being able to spend the day with you but he had meetings for work and for future dig’s planned for the southern hemisphere in the winter. You’d stood in the kitchen sipping your coffee for a long while after he’d left, thinking over what he’d casually dropped into conversation; was this a fling?, Was the fact that he would spend months at a time out of the country the reason why such a catch was still single? Or was this something he did; find a girl, romance them, and then leave them on ‘business’ once things got boring? You shook your head to rid yourself of those thought and immediately regretted it, your head hurting from your wound. You gingerly touched it and brought your fingers in front of your face, letting out a sigh of relief when you saw there was no blood, but you realised you’d need to be careful for the next couple of days.

As you continued to sip your coffee you read over your emails again, re-reading the one from your boss and frowning; it seemed very short and curt, but he was probably just annoyed that one of his staff was due time off in their busiest season due to what was essentially a workplace injury.

You decided you were going to head to yoga, even without the joke earlier about needing to limber up, it would help you focus and recharge your mind as well as your body.

By the time Friday afternoon had arrived your week off was surprisingly busy; finally finding time to do all those small chores that you had put off for weeks, but also you’d taken the chance to go shopping for a dress for your date.

Rather than hit the chaos of Oxford Street or Westfield, instead you’d sought out a couple of vintage and secondhand dress agencies. Your morning had been fun, searching through unique pieces until you’d found it, the dress that was perfect. The woman that ran the vintage shop had guessed it had been a custom piece made in the 80’s, the midnight blue velvet piece fitting you like a glove. It had a thigh high split on one side and was patterned with silver sequins hand sewn on sporadically to make it resemble the night sky. It was strapless but had little hooks along the scalloped bust line that could hook over the cups of a strapless bra for extra security. You had a pair of silver heels in your wardrobe at home that would work perfectly with it, and with a bargain clutch from Primark you were sorted.

As you primped and preened that afternoon, fixing your hair and makeup, you smiled at your reflection as you pulled the dress on just a few minutes before Henry was due to pick you up. You were checking the contents of your clutch when the doorbell rang, frowning as you answered it and saw Henry on the small intercom screen;

“Henry? You know the code”

He grinned at the camera;

“Yes, but I’m being gentlemanly… this time I don’t already have you drunk or drugged in my arms…”

You pressed the buzzer to let him in, flicking the latch on the door as you went to fasten the straps on your heels, looking up just as he peered around the open doorway and stopped dead on his feet;

“Wow…”

He looked you up and down, his eyes wide as he took in your curves in the vintage dress, his gaze pausing at your chest on his way down and then on his way back up again.

You had a similar reaction when you saw how he was dressed; navy suit and kingfisher blue shirt, the top few buttons undone where it fitted his chest like a glove. He crossed the room slowly, like a predator stalking his prey, resting his hands on your hips and ducking his head to kiss you before pulling back to admire your cleavage close up;

“I must say, I am a big fan of this dress” He ran a fingernail over the top of your breast, your skin prickling in Goosebumps at his touch before he opened his jacket and pulled a flat velvet box from the inside pocket and handed it to you;

“You remember when we first started talking properly, that I said I’d brought you something back from Siberia?”

Your eyes went wide;

“Henry… what is this?”

“Open it and see”

In disbelief you pulled the box open and let out a small gasp; nestled within the box was a delicate necklace, a raw amethyst gemstone set into a delicate silver chain. As you held the box he lifted the chain, walking behind you so he could bring it over your head, his fingers nimbly fastening it before he traced his fingertips over your bare shoulders and pressed a kiss to your neck;

“You look stunning… the platinum looks beautiful on you”

You spun around, your hand resting on the necklace;

“Platinum?! I thought it was silver! Henry, this is too much… I can’t take this, not when it’s only our first date…”

He brought his hands to yours and gently clasped them, pressing a kiss to your fingers before he smiled kindly;

“It’s not really our first date though, is it? We’ve had drinks, I’ve spent the night… And please, let me give you this…”

“But it’s too expensive!”

“Not to me it isn’t… I’m lucky enough to me more than comfortable financially, let me share it with you” He closed his hands gently around yours as they held the necklace, pressing a kiss to your knuckles; “It suits you… and I can’t exactly keep it, the chain would get caught on my chest hair”

You laughed and pressed a kiss to his lips;

“Thank you”

Henry had driven you through the early evening London streets with ease, confident and calm even when cabs would cut in front of him or Uber Eats bicycles would whizz past your door at traffic lights. As much as you’d asked him where you were going, he just smiled and replied ‘you’ll see’ before returning his attention back to the road.

Finally you recognised some familiar sights as you passed the entrance to Borough Market, before he swung a left and your eyes went wide;

“We’re going to The Shard?”

He grinned as he steered the car into the space outside the entrance, the valet opening your door was Henry strode around the car and took your hand whilst handing his keys to the valet. The ride up through the building in the silent elevator gave you butterflies, before he took your hand as the doors chimed. Henry offered you his arm and you tucked your own through it, your stomach flipping nervously as he walked with confidence up to the maitre’d;

“Good Evening Dr Cavill”

You had to try and keep your face neutral that the staff knew who he was, and Henry greeted him in return as if he was an old friend;

“How are you Michael? Family good?”

“Yes, thank you Sir. My daughter will be starting Oxford university in September, thank you for your letter of endorsement”

“Wonderful, great to hear. Are we ok to have some drinks and take in the view before we sit down for dinner?”

“Of course, Sir. I can prepare your table for whenever you need it. You’re booked into the Westminster Suite tonight?”

“Yes, that’s the one”

The man smiled as he led you and Henry to a small bar table near the window, and as soon as you’d rested your small clutch bag on it a waiter appeared;

“Can I get you some drinks tonight?”

Henry glanced at you;

“Champers?” You nodded as he continued; “We’ll have a bottle of the Krug 1996”

The waiter nodded once and walked away, and it was only when Henry lightly touched your arm and made you jump did you realise you’d zoned out a little;

“Princess?”

“Sorry, just trying to process this is all real” you laughed quietly

“Very real” he took your hand and was about to say something when the waiter returned, setting the small tray with two champagne flutes and a small bowl of strawberries onto the table, before quietly opening the expensive bottle in front of you. Pouring two glasses he set the bottle onto the table and left without another word, letting you return your attention to Henry;

“What’s on your mind? You were quiet in the car the whole way over. Is this too much?”

You smiled;

“No, it’s wonderful. Obviously it’s not a standard night out for me, but you know…”

“What else is bothering you?”

You took a deep breath and smiled, pointing to your glass of champagne;

“Ok firstly, this; I’m not taking a sip until I tell you that I one hundred percent want to sleep with you”

“Ok, that’s good to hear” he grinned

“You are so kind and caring, specifically waiting until I was sober before we would sleep together, and now obviously you have thought tonight through, you’ve got a suite here - that was a bit of a surprise I’ll add, but a pleasant one - so I want to get this completely agreed to before you waste all this money and then not asking for consent…”

He nodded and sipped his glass, smiling and a kind look on his face as you continued;

“Also, my safe word is Nerd”

“Nerd?”

“Yes. In case of later…”

“Gotcha” he paused for a moment before nodding to your glass; “Do you want a drink now?”

“God yes” You tipped the glass and sipped at the bubbles, feeling them burst over your tongue, and as you were setting the glass down and reaching for a strawberry Henry rested a hand on your hip;

“Is there anything else?”

“You said you were organising digs in the Southern Hemisphere for the winter… where would that leave us, you and me? Would this between us just be a summer fling? I just kind of want to know where I stand before you break my heart”

“So firstly, I do not see this as just a summer fling. I feel like I’ve known you for years, and remember we were talking on Instagram for months before I finally worked up enough courage to say more than just asking if your day was ok… But the winter digs, it’s what I do. Obviously I’m attached to the museum, but I’m also linked to several others all around the world. I can be away for a month or six months at a time, it’s all dependant on the weather and permits, local politics, but I’d fly back whenever I could, and fly you out when you could take time off work”

“You would do that? You would wait for me?”

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you gently to his chest as he ran a finger gently down your cheek;

“Of course I’d wait for you. I have always waited… I have found people don’t wait for me”

“What?! But… but you’re a catch! You’re kind and caring… you know how to treat a partner in every way!”

He shrugged, looking a little pensive;

“I don’t know what to say… but the last couple of girlfriends presumed I would cheat so ended things ‘before I broke their heart’... which I would never do…”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before a quiet cough sounded behind you, the pair of you turning to see the waiter;

“Would you like your table now or would you like to continue with drinks here?”

Henry smiled at you;

“I could eat, you?”

“Yes, please”

The waiter nodded and loading your drinks onto a tray before you followed him, Henry leaning to whisper in your ear;

“I look forward to eating you later too”

Dinner was fabulous, each dish seemingly better than the last, flavours dancing on your tongue and you had to struggle not to make obscene moaning sounds, but when the occasional one did escape Henry’s smile would spread further across his face until you laughed as well. By the time the dessert menu was brought over you declined;

“Are you sure?” Henry pushed; “Really, you can have anything you like, this whole night is on me”

You laughed quietly;

“I’m not looking at the prices…” you leant back and rested a hand on your stomach; “But I am *just* the right amount of full at the moment to be happy to do any other activities tonight… if I eat dessert I wouldn’t”

Henry nodded and gave a nod to the waiter, quietly speaking to him before turning his attention back to you;

“Princess, shall we retire back to our suite? A nightcap whilst we take in the view; there’s a telescope in the room”

Nodding you sipped on the last of your drink as Henry signed the bill, slipping a stack of notes into the clip before closing the small black file and handing it back. He stood and quickly circled the table, helping to pull your chair out before offering you his arm.

The ride in the lift to the luxury suites was quiet, the atmosphere almost sparking with the energy the pair of you were giving off from the sexual tension. Henry walked you to the door and you were ready to rip his clothing from his body, but as he pushed the door open he smiled and pressed a finger to his lips before speaking, and not to you;

“Michael, thank you, but we won’t be requiring the butler service tonight”

The man you recognised from the restaurant emerged from what you could see what the small kitchenette area, wiping his hands on a pristine tea towel;

“Understood Dr Cavill. I hope you have an enjoyable stay. Your request from the restaurant has been stored safely in the refrigerator”

“Thank you, Michael,”

As the man passed you saw Henry slip him a £50 note as he quickly shook his hand, before taking the Do Not Disturb sign and slipping it over the gold hook on the outside of the door and quietly closing it.

You watched as he shrugged his jacket off and slowly stalked across the room, wrapping his arm around your back, his other hand gently tilting your chin towards his lips as he kissed you, the press of his hot hard body against your own. The kiss was soft, yet he managed to completely dominate you, his tongue pushing against your own and you could taste the whiskey he’d finished his meal with just a few moments before. Your fingers clawed at his shirt, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and yet as you managed to get one unfastened he pulled away, slipping his hand into yours;

“Come on, let me show you the view”

The noise that escaped your lips was a cross between a laugh and a toddlers disgruntled moan;

“Henry…” you whined; “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but please, I’m so fucking horny right now, I need you to fuck me into the mattress”

He turned and walked backwards, tugging you to the panoramic windows and the telescope that sat on the full-length tripod, a quiet laugh filling the void between the two of you;

“Princess, I promise you will get that… we have all night, all weekend! I just have one thing I want to show you…”

He peered through the telescope before stepping back and nodding to you, gently guiding you until he was standing behind you, his hands on your hips. You looked through the eyepiece and let out a gasp; on the roof of a building in Canary Wharf was a light display… and yet it wasn’t just lasers, there was light patterns of dinosaurs; Diplodocus reaching for high leaves, T-rex stalking in the bushes, a group of Raptors running across the building.

“Oh Henry… how did you?”

“I have some friends in the city… and some more friends that run outdoor events… just called in a couple of favours”

You watched through the scope and smiled as you felt Henry wrap his arms around your waist, pressing his hard body flush with your own and started to caress your neck with soft kisses. One hand slipped to your thigh and gently started to tug your dress up until it was high enough for him to slip his hand into the thigh high slit and curl around to seek out your pussy. He was still firmly holding you in place, letting you watch the light show in the relative darkness of the luxury suite, but as his fingers dipped beneath the thin elastic of your lacy thong he let out an appreciative groan as he found you already dripping wet;

“You really are horny, aren’t you?”

He found your clit and started to tease it with tight circles, at the same time grinding into the crease of your ass with the hardness still confined to his smart trousers. Under his expert ministrations you soon found yourself swaying your hips, working between pushing harder against his hand then pushing back to feel that delicious friction from behind. Your head fell back against his shoulder and he let out a feral growl against your neck, his teeth grazing against your smooth flesh before gently biting, causing a shudder to run the length of your spine;

“Ok, Dinosaurs are great, but I need a different bone…”

Your words were breathless and were greeted with a low chuckle. Henry withdrew his fingers and you watched as he brought them to his mouth, tasting your juices from the glistening digits, before he moved them to the zip of your dress and slowly started to unzip you. The dress fell to the floor and he let out an appreciative moan;

“No bra?”

“You complaining?”

“Absolutely not”

Your fingers started quick work of his shirt buttons, unfastening them all before pushing the fabric over his massive shoulders. As he cast the garment aside you unbuttoned his trousers, lowering the zip and palming the massive bulge his boxers could barely contain, Henry’s hips pushing against your palm involuntarily as you felt the heat of his skin though the fabric. Your tongue painted patterns against his chest and his voice stuttered;

“I want you to sit on my face, ride my tongue Princess, let me make you cum”

He dropped to his knees and pulled your lace thong down your legs, before unfastening the tiny straps of your heels, running the tips of his fingers up the length of your body as he stood and rid himself of his own clothing, pulling you to the bed.

He lay on the soft covers, pulling you up his body until your knees were either side of his head, his strong hands gripping onto your thighs as his tongue darted out and parted your folds. His eyes glinted with mischief and you could feel yourself shaking with anticipation as he spoke;

“Turn around”

Taking a couple of moments to shift 180º, you rested your hands on his broad chest as he pulled you down to his mouth. At the first touch of his tongue swiping through your folds again you groaned and curled your fingers through the coarse hair on his chest, shuddering at his expert touch. With each pass of the strong muscle you could feel your body rapidly heading towards orgasm already, but when you felt a wide hand flat on your back, pushing you forwards it was heaven as his lips latched onto your clit and he slid two fingers of his other hand into your soaked channel.

Resting your chest against his abdomen you were face to face with his dick, hard and thick as it rested against his stomach, reaching up to his navel where it wept precum. Wrapping your hand around it you smoothed your thumb over the clear liquid, wishing you could reach it with your mouth, but instead spitting on your other hand to work the hot hard flesh. The groan that was muffled from between your thighs told you he was enjoying it, and in return he slid a finger into you, stretching you, and you knew you were done for.

Your attention waived from him as he worked you closer and closer towards your orgasm, before he managed to curl his fingers just right and you were cumming over his face, his strong arm holding you to his mouth as you shook with pleasure.

Finally he carefully withdrew his fingers from you, lifting you so he could lay you head to foot on the bed beside him before resting one massive hand on your soft stomach as your breath came out in rapid pants, your heart racing. You felt the bed shift and the welcome touch of his warm hands parting your legs so he could crawl up your body, pressing open mouthed kisses to every spot he crossed. Eventually he reached your own lips, kissing you deeply, his tongue wide and strong and you could taste yourself as your own tongue danced with his. You could feel his hardness nestled against your folds, slipping against you as your bodies writhed together before he finally pushed himself up on his powerful arms;

“Are you ready?”

“Yes… please Henry…”

Reaching down he took hold of himself and slid the tip up and down through your folds until you felt that delicious notch of his swollen crown resting at your entrance, he looked back to you;

“I’ll go slow… just relax…”

He started to push forwards, your velvet walls slowly parting as he filled you inch by delicious inch, your eyes going wider with each push. He tilted his hips and immediately found your g-spot, your eyes rolling back in their sockets and you let out a groan that would have rattled the glass in the windows had the building not been fitted with hurricane proof panes. You felt Henry’s soft lips press a kiss to your neck, his mouth moving gently over your skin as he spoke;

“You feel like heaven Princess, taking me so well”

“H-Henry… please…”

“What Princess? Is it too much?”

“NO! No, oh my god, please… please move… fuck me… fuck me like you mean it…”

“Princess…” he warned

“I can take it… I want it…”

You looked into his eyes and saw a glint of concern, before a wide smile spread across his face;

“You can, you’re a good girl…”

Pulling his hips back he pushed back in, parting your walls further and the feeling of being so full was almost indescribable. Sure, you’d had partners with big dicks in the past. Some with small dicks. But no-one that had ever been both long and as wide as Henry was. He wasn’t obscenely long, so there wasn’t the uncomfortable stabbing in the cervix, but every inch of his was thick and meaty, and you could feel him completely. Each thrust was becoming harder and faster, and soon he was wrapping one arm around your thigh to pull your legs open wider, tilting his hips so he could change the angle as he fucking railed you into the mattress, your fingers clawing at his back as you begged him for more and more.

The room faded around you, it was just you and Henry, the pleasure each other’s bodies were sharing with the other, feral grunts and moans as you felt pleasure like never before. You fitted together like two pristine pieces of a jigsaw, working together in unity. The rough brush of his chest hair against your hypersensitive nipples was yet another added stimulation, and with each rapid push and thrust your bodies rubbed together to bring you closer to your peak. You were trembling around him, your legs shaking where you were so close to orgasm.

He let go of your leg, now resting both hands either side of your body as he moved quicker, each thrust more powerful than the last, and with each push you had slid a little more along the bed, your head now hanging over the end and resting on the chaise lounge that sat there, the blood rushing to your brain giving you a head rush. You wrapped your legs around Henry’s waist, hooking one foot over another as you pressed them against his ripe ass. Your bodies were slick with sweat, and when you felt that tell-tale sign that your orgasm was starting a guttural moan emerged slowly through your throat.

Your body shook with intense pleasure, you could feel for the very first time your internal muscles squeezing and massaging Henry’s massive girth within you, realising that you had never felt so complete.

As you rode out your orgasm Henry evened his thrusts out, and as your own pleasure was starting to ebb away it set off his own, his thick seed filling you as you felt him twitch and buck within you. You watched as he threw his head back and moaned your name, the smooth expanse of his neck aching for you to touch, and with the last ounce of strength you had you did just that and pressed an open mouthed kiss to his Adams Apple.

With one final grunt you felt him twitch for the last time before his body relaxed, and those steel blue eyes met yours in the twilight of the room, your bodies only illuminated by the bright lights of the London night skyline. He shifted, moving one hand behind your head to support and cup it in his massive palm, the other resting on his elbow so your bodies were pressed together yet he wasn’t resting his entire weight atop of you. There were no words, the smiles on your faces told the other all the words your mouths couldn’t articulate.

The passing of time didn’t register in your mind, and it was only when Henry’s entire body did an involuntary shudder did you both come back to reality. Steadying himself on his arms he slowly pulled out of you, letting out a string of gentle ‘hoo-ha’s as the pull of your body against his over sensitive flesh was almost overwhelming for him. Kneeling on the bed he ran his hands over your thighs, warm against the now goose bumped skin and he pulled your legs apart slightly;

“Wanna watch my cum drip out of you Princess”

His hands rested on your inner thighs at the apex, his thumbs pulling apart your lips and you watched as he watched his thick seed slowly pool at your entrance. With one thumb he swiped it through the cum before spreading it over your swollen folds. He let out a grunt and moved, sliding an arm behind your back and helped you sit up, pressing his thumb to your lips which you eagerly took into your mouth, sucking on the thick pad as you tasted your combined essence on his salty skin.

“Let’s rest for a while before the next round” he muttered before kissing your cheek.

You nodded, muttering about needing to pee, and on wobbly legs you staggered to the bathroom like a new-born fawn.

Chapter 7 >>>

Chapter 6 notes:

In case you wanted to be nosey and see just how much Henry spent on their date:

Champagne:

https://thechampagnecompany.com/krug-1996-vintage-champagne-75cl-gift-box Restaurant at the Shard: https://www.the-shard.com/restaurants/aquashard/ Room at the Shard: https://www.shangri-la.com/london/shangrila/rooms-suites/suites/westminster-suite/

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x you #au henry cavill

218 notes · View notes

xofanfics · 5 years ago

Text

String - Part V

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive themes

Pairing: Baekhyun x Female Reader FT. SEHUN

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: You find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation with your best friend. You have no business falling for him, but your heart begs to differ.

If you had to list the emotions you felt after that night, you could fill a notebook with words and phrases and maybe even some sentences. You’d start with words like anger, despair and hopelessness. You could also write words like idiot and stupid and failure. You could fill it with curses in English and in Spanish because Evie taught you how to curse like her uncle in Puerto Rico. You could write how much you hated Baekhyun and how he was a stupid asshole who pulled you along on a string for weeks and about how selfish he was for not telling you how he felt. You could write about yourself and how everytime something good came into your life it was pulled away from you like candy from a baby. And how unfair life had been to you, that you couldn’t believe that you liked someone for the first time in a while and you seemed so close to having the perfect relationship with Baekhyun.

“Just casual sex between two people when we needed to get off, mutual entertainment!”

“You deserve someone whose heart skips a beat when you smile...like yours used to do to me...”

You’d never felt more defeated or stupid in your life. You weren’t the luckiest person in the world and you’d experienced a few heartbreaks in your life but this had to be the worst. And the worst part of this heartbreak in particular was that you weren’t even together yet this one hurt the most.

You’d poured your heart, with all its energy, into this idea of being with Baekhyun. Even though you got confirmation that Baekhyun had chosen someone else you had questions about who that person was. Who was she and where the fuck did she come from and what did she have over you? Whoever she was didn’t matter. No matter what, you hated her. Even if she was an angel sent down from the heavens above you didn’t care; you still hated her.

* Baekhyun hated himself. He never meant to hurt you or lead you on. It wasn’t an excuse, it just...happened. Things just ended up like that and he knew that everything that had happened up until this point was his own fault. He made this mess. Your feelings spilled all over the floor and he wasn’t sure how to clean it up.

As you walked away, he wanted to stop you. He wanted to apologize, to say something to you. He knew that he hurt you and he knew there were a few things in that confrontation that he could’ve left out… Like the part where he said, “You deserve someone whose heart skips a beat when you smile...like yours used to do to me…” That was stupid. Why did he say that? He was feeling attacked and, honestly he felt hurt even though he had no right to be, he took out his frustrations on you. In the moment, he wanted to hurt you like you were hurting him.

He fucked up and he knew that there was no way you’d ever forgive him. He was drunk and he knew it was no excuse for how he behaved or the things he said that he couldn’t take back but he regretted it all.

He dragged himself back to that bar, mostly just to get his wallet from the table. Part of him wondered if you’d go back to the bar and drink more but he knew that you wouldn’t. When you needed space, you walked around. And he knew that you probably never wanted to see his face again. So he knew that when he got there you wouldn’t be.

As he walked into the bar, you were nowhere in sight. His friends were at the table and looked up as he approached.

“Where’s Y/N?” asked Evie.

“We had a fight and now she hates me,” Baekhyun said, putting his wallet in his pocket.

“Jesus, Baekhyun,” she said, standing up and grabbing her phone. “If you didn’t want to be her boyfriend, fine, but the least you could’ve done was be her fucking friend!”

Evie stormed off, leaving a very angry and uncomfortable aura, Sadie running behind her. Baekhyun sat down next to Daren and Drew quietly. “Well now Evie hates me, too.” Baekhyun picked up the beer that Evie didn’t finish and took a gulp from it. “Cheers.”

Drew watched with confused brows. “What the hell just happened?” * Baekhyun woke up without a hangover thanks to his friends encouraging him to drink water instead of buying another drink to deal with his problems. He told them everything that happened, sometimes giving a little too much information, from when the time Baekhyun first had sex with you up to meeting Kira again to the argument he’d had with you. There was a point where he even cried a little. They didn’t judge him too much but they did tell him that he should’ve told you sooner, when he started having doubts. But he already knew that.

He woke up and reached for his phone. He checked desperately for a message from you but he didn’t find it. His friends tried to stop him from calling and texting you and he supposed it was a good idea. If anything, the conversation might go a little better if you were sober.

He sighed and went into the kitchen for some water. Last night’s events replayed in his head, making him feel even worse than he already did as he poured water into a glass. He took a huge gulp in the hopes that he’d wash those negative feelings away. Unfortunately, it didn’t. He couldn’t take last night back and he was still an asshole.

He retreated back into his room and plopped on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He had a million things he wanted to say to you but he didn’t know how angry at him you were. His phone vibrated and he picked it up to find a text from Kira but not you.

Kira [11:03AM] : Good morning! Hope you slept okay. How was boys’ night?

[11:03AM] : Morning! No hangover, so that’s good :)

He picked up his phone again, clicking on your contact name to call you. The phone rang and rang. He called two more times but you didn’t answer. The third time, he decided to text you instead. Maybe you’d respond to a text instead of a phone call. He’d rather you at least read what he had to say, if anything, even if you didn’t respond.

[11:11AM] : Y/N, I’m sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I know that I can’t take back the things I said last night but some of it, I didn’t mean. I was getting upset and I said all the wrong things. I just want to talk to you when we’re sober. Can we please talk things over? * Even two weeks later, you still found your thoughts being invaded by Baekhyun. You’d ignored his texts, opting to read the previews instead. He left you a voicemail the other day that you hadn’t listened to because you didn’t want anything to do with him. You wanted him to be erased from your life. What was worse is that you still liked him. Your heart still dropped every time you got a notification from him and you couldn’t stand him unknowingly having this much power over you.

You spent the past two weeks avoiding Baekhyun like the plague. Thankfully you didn’t have classes with him this semester so the chances of running into him on campus was low. To further prevent any run-ins with him, you avoided the cafeteria and the library and the campus bookstore. Most importantly, you avoided the pool because you knew that Baekhyun liked to use the pool and you avoided the gym just in case he’d decide to go there.

You even avoided your friends a little, always careful to confirm whether or not Baekhyun would be there. And when you decided to hangout with the girls, you made sure it was away from campus or at your apartment.

The last time you saw them Evie said, “He’s really sorry, Y/N. I’m not saying this because I’m taking sides. I’m just saying that maybe you should at least hear what he has to say…”

And you ignored her because you didn’t want to. Hell, you didn’t need Baekhyun, period. You didn’t care what he had to say. Or maybe that was just what you had decided to convince yourself for the time being.

You didn’t feel like spending another Saturday alone with your thoughts. You didn’t want to hang out with your friends from school so you started thinking about other people you could hang out with. For a second, you thought of Sehun. You shook your head, pushing the thought of him away. It had been a month, if not more, since you met him. Would he even remember you? Would he text you back if you texted him right now? What if he was busy? You picked your phone up, deciding that it was worth a shot.

[4:26PM] : Hey, it’s Y/N. Are you free today?

Upon sending it, you almost wished you hadn’t. There was no way he’d respond. It had been so long since you even saw him last. You put the phone down, deciding to do something else instead of stressing out over a text you probably wouldn’t get. You decided to make a cup of tea to ease your mind. You waited for the water in the kettle to boil, staring at the kitchen counter mindlessly. Your thoughts shifted back to Baekhyun but you decided that you spent enough time thinking about him when he was clearly seeing someone else. You sighed and poured the boiled water into your black tea. Enough was enough, you decided, putting your mug on your nightstand.

You glanced at your phone for a few seconds before you looked away, toward your TV. A moment later, you looked at the phone again. You had a staring contest with your phone until you couldn’t take it anymore and gave into temptation, picking up the phone. What you didn’t expect to see was a text message from Sehun.

Sehun [4:29PM] : Only if you’re kind of single ;)

You chuckled at his reply. He was so petty.

[4:35PM] : Definitely single now lol.

Sehun [4:37PM] : You’re in Brooklyn, right? How quickly can you get ready?

* You found yourself walking down a colorful Williamsburg street to meet Sehun. You felt nervous and excited at the same time. You felt bad for taking this long to contact him and you were honestly surprised that he even wrote you back at all. When you texted him, you didn’t even expect a text back. Sehun must’ve been very interested in you to put up with something like that. Because if it had been you, the feeling wouldn’t have been the same.

You were excited because you had finally stopped moping around about Baekhyun. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that you still weren’t upset. But enough was enough. There was no reason for you to stay in this Saturday being bored and miserable by yourself. Why not spend time with a man who had shown initiative and appreciated your company.

You found Sehun on a bench outside the bar. He wasn’t paying attention when you were crossing the street, so you saw him before he saw you. He was scrolling on his phone, his leg crossed over the other. As you approached him, he looked up. Seeing you, he smiled.

“Hey,” you said.

He stood up. “Hey...I thought we could grab a drink and talk a little before dinner. There’s this place around the corner I heard is really good.”

You smiled. “Lead the way.”

And with that, he opened the door for the bar. For a Saturday, the bar wasn’t as crowded as it could be. Sehun took a seat at the bar and you sat down next to him. Sehun grabbed the drink menu and handed it to you.

He said, “What kind of drinks do you like?”

With a hum, you replied, “Something a little sweet but not too sweet. What about you?”

“Something strong.”

“That sounds about right.”

The bartender came over with two glasses of water. “Right now, we have a special deal going on. It’s buy one, get one free for select drinks on this menu.” He put a small piece of paper between you, listing all the drinks that were eligible for the deal.

“Will we get drunk?” you asked, glancing at the drinks.

The bartender winked. “I make a pretty strong mojito…” * You felt like a bird being freed from its cage, finally able to set your wings to fly toward a more achievable future. The dreams you’d had of Baekhyun seemed more like a far off memory. Was this what you needed all along? To just forget about him and to focus on yourself? You felt better than you had in weeks. And even though you were on your second drink, you didn’t feel like it mattered.

Sehun didn’t ask about why you didn’t call or text him before. He could’ve asked about it but he chose not to. Maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he was happy that you’d even texted him before. If you’d been in his shoes, you would’ve been upset about it. You would’ve wondered what you did wrong and if he was even interested in the first place or worse, you would’ve thought that he was playing with you like a video game hooked up to his TV. But no, Sehun kept it simple and you appreciated it.

The more you talked to Sehun, the more you realized you had in common. It was just like the first time you met him in the bar where you talked about any and everything. You noticed small things about him the more you spoke. He nodded often when you were talking and he folded his hands together on the table in between the sips of his mojito. He was the type of person who got distracted easily, glancing every time someone walked in or out of the bar.

You learned that he graduated from Pratt Institute with a degree in video production. He loved cameras and all the things that they could do. He could see the beauty in a photo, in a video, that others couldn’t. Sehun showed you some of the pictures and videos he’d taken. You thought it was amazing that he was so passionate about it and that he talked with such enthusiasm.

Sehun smiled at you. “You know, I had to force myself to go talk to you that day…” He chuckled. “I felt like I was fighting with myself. I thought to myself ‘You have nothing to lose, go talk to her!’ And eventually I did.”

You returned his smile. “What made you want to talk to me?”

“You just looked like you weren’t having a good time...You know, one of those nights where your friends drag you out with them when, in reality, you’d rather be at home watching Netflix. You looked like that. You were frowning like this.” He imitated you, poking his lips out in a pout.

“I don’t pout like that!” you said nudging him.

He laughed and, a second later, so did you. “I’m actually pretty shy...but I don’t know, I feel like I don’t have to be shy around you.”

You felt your stomach grumble. The two of you had been so caught up in the drinks and conversation that you’d completely forgotten about eating. “Not to cut you off but are you starting to get hungry?”

His eyes widened. “Shit, I’m sorry. Yeah, let’s get food.”

Sehun quickly paid the bill and it wasn’t long before you were leaving the bar. Sehun lead the way. “There’s this pizza place that’s not too far away but it’s much better than those dollar slices, I promise.”

“So basically fancy pizza?”

“Pretty much.” * The pizza was amazing and so was Sehun. You hadn’t felt this connected to someone in a while. Sehun wasn’t as loud or outgoing as Baekhyun but you liked that about him. The two of you seemed to balance each other out. But the best part was that the conversation never got boring and you never felt the need to escape as you had with other guys you’d tried dating before. It was refreshing to go out with him. It felt new and spontaneous.

You’d just gotten off of the train. Sehun insisted that he take you home. He said, “There are a lot of strange people outside. I want to make sure you get home safe.” So, here he was. You were a couple blocks away from your building.

You said, “I had a really good time tonight…”

“Me too,” he said. “I’m glad you texted me. I didn’t think you would.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Things were complicated back then,” you said. Then, you let out a sigh. “You probably think I’m an asshole.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole. When you gave me your number, I knew things were complicated,” he replied. “Did you figure everything out?”

You nodded. “I think so.”

“That’s good,” he said, looking both ways before crossing the street. There was a moment of silence; the only thing you could hear were your shoes hitting the pavement.

“What’s your intention?” you asked, with your eyebrows raised. Though Sehun was a nice guy you wanted to know what he was trying to do with you. Before you got too invested, it was better to ask now rather than later. It was a valid question, right?

Sehun stopped on the corner. “I’m not trying to go with you up to your apartment if that’s what you’re asking me...I wanna take things slow, get to know you first. If it works out between us, I would want to date. I’m more of a relationship person. I don’t like sleeping around.” You nodded, mulling it over. No one had ever approached you like this. Men either definitely wanted to fuck or definitely wanted to date. And Sehun seemed to be closer to wanting to date. “Besides, I think you deserve way more than just some guy who only wants to fuck you.”

The last thing he said stuck with you. It seemed like that sentence would remain with you, sticking to you like glue. Sehun always seemed to say something that made you question yourself and wonder what the hell you were doing. It almost seemed as if Sehun knew about your situation with Baekhyun, though it was obviously just a coincidence.

You approached your building and came to a stop at the door. “Thank you for taking me home.”

Sehun nodded. “It’s one in the morning. You shouldn’t be alone. This street is too dark.”

You smiled, a nervous feeling bubbling up in your core. “We should hang out again.”

“Are you free this week?”

“Yeah. I don’t have anything planned on Friday.”

The corners of his mouth went up into a grin. “Sounds good.”

“Goodnight, Sehun.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Sehun waved as you walked into your building, disappearing through the front door. He hoped that this worked out because, like you, he hadn’t felt like this about someone in a long time. And he had a good feeling about you.

You took a shower when you got upstairs, washing away the sweat and dirt from a pretty hot day. When you got out, you laid on the bed in your towel. You picked up and found that Baekhyun had replied to your Instagram story photo that you’d taken of the pizza. At the time, you felt like being petty so you made sure you got Sehun’s watch in the shot. You wanted him to know that you were moving on, that you were capable of having a love life. He commented with heart eye emojis and you knew it was his way of making his presence know, of trying to slide back into your life somehow.

You sighed, annoyed that you’d come home from such a good date and then Baekhyun had to ruin it. You hadn’t really thought about him tonight, aside from when you posted on Instagram, and he popped in to remind you that there were still some unresolved issues. You knew that you couldn’t run from him forever. Your friends understood that you were upset but they thought you should hear him out, at least, to get closure and move on.

You decided to listen to the voicemail Baekhyun left you. Maybe it would give you the closure you needed.

“Y/N...I know you’re ignoring me so I figured this is the best way to talk to you. First of all, I wanted to say that I’m sorry...for the things I said to you that night. I was harsh and I was being a coward, waiting until I was drunk to tell you the truth. It was something only an asshole would do so, uh, I guess that makes me an asshole. I’m sorry for leading you on for all this time. I just want you to know—and I don’t know if you’ll believe this or not—that I had every intention of dating you officially when I came back from Korea. It’s just recently I realized that I have feelings for someone else. And I’m sorry that I avoided talking about it and that it hurt you. Most importantly, I’m sorry for hurting you. I consider you a close friend and I ruined things between us. I’m sorry, Y/N. You don’t have to forgive me and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just hope that one day we can at least be friends. Um, take care, Y/N…”

If anything, this voicemail made your feelings more complicated.

***

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sidemenimaginesss · 5 years ago

Text

and they were roommates - simon minter

requested: yes - “Hey can you do number 40 with Simon?☺️”

prompt: 40. “stop saying things that make me want to kiss you”

summary: you barely know your new roommate simon. what happens when the tension between you keeps rising after multiple inconvenient run-ins?

wordcount: 3500

you got linked up with simon through your mutual friend vik after he found out that the both of you were looking for a roommate in london. you couldn’t contain your excitement and immediately agreed to live with this unknown man. he’s a friend of vik’s so he must be nice. you’ll probably get along just fine... right?

you’ve been texting him back and forth about certain aspects of your new home, such as who gets which room, who brings which piece of furniture et cetera, but you haven’t really had the chance to get to know each other. guess that’ll have to wait until the day you actually meet.

it’s the day of moving into your new flat and you and your parents are the first ones to arrive. simon texted you earlier that he still needs to figure some stuff out before he can move in. and so box after box filled with your belongings and pieces of furniture fill the room. you sigh when you’re finally done bringing them all in. you thank your parents and say your goodbyes before you sit down on the floor for a few minutes and take in your surroundings. finally, your own place.

you put on some music and spend the next few hours unpacking. you start with your bedroom, making sure your bed is all set up so you don’t have to sleep on the floor tonight. you continue by setting up different pieces of furniture around the living room, making sure that there’s still enough room for simon’s stuff.

at around 9pm you realise you’ve been working the entire day and still haven’t eaten any food. you decide to quickly order some chinese before continuing the unpacking process.

at around 10pm you’ve finished your takeout meal and you decide it’s time to get some rest. you want to take a shower, but are simply too exhausted to do so. instead, you simply jump into bed and fall asleep soon after.

your alarm goes off at 8am, reminding you that you still have a lot of work to do. before you start though, you decide it’s time to go take a shower first.

grabbing a towel and some shower gel, you walk into the bathroom and get out of your clothes. you put on some music you can sing along to and figure out how the shower works before jumping in.

whilst washing your hair, you receive a notification on your phone, but you decide to ignore it. about 15 minutes later, you turn off the shower and get out.

you grab your towel and dry yourself off before realising you need to grab some clean clothes. you put your hair up in a quick bun, ready to walk to your room, before the bathroom door suddenly opens. “oh my god!” you scream loudly when the man who opened the door looks at your naked body in shock and quickly turns around.

you slam the door shut and start breathing heavily. you grab your phone, thinking of calling the police, when you notice a text message from simon on your homescreen: ‘surprise! almost here. finished up packing everything last night. can’t wait to meet you.’ you quickly wrap your body in a towel and call out “simon?”

when you don’t get a response, you open the bathroom door slightly and peek around the corner to see simon’s back facing you. you realise your music is still blaring loudly through your phone’s speakers and you turn it off completely before trying again, “simon?”

this time, he turns around slowly and you’re met with a smug face. “that’ll be me. nice to meet you, roomie,” he extends his hand and you awkwardly shake it through the small gap.

you let out a small laugh when he lets go of your hand. “hey, you wouldn’t be willing to grab me some clothes, would you?”

he smirks and answers coolly, “not a problem. where can i find them?” you step out of the bathroom slightly to point towards your bedroom door and he follows your finger with his eyes. “that room, box next to the wardrobe. you can pick out something nice,” you smile. he nods and looks back over to your face, suddenly making you realise how close the two of you are actually standing. you meet his eyes, lick your lips and look down to the floor, only looking up again when you can’t feel the heat of his body next to yours anymore.

“so how do i look?” you ask simon when you’re finally done getting ready in the bathroom.

after looking up from his phone, he looks you up and down from the couch and nods. “you look great.”

you nod and can’t help but feel flustered when you remember he didn’t just see you naked a few minutes ago, but also picked out your underwear for you. talk about a first impression.

you join him on the couch and try to start a conversation. “so, simon, tell me about yourself,” you smile at him as he puts his phone away and sighs. “well i’m simon, but you already knew that. i do youtube, just like vik. did i ever mention i have like nearly 9 million subscribers? it’s no big deal. but you probably already knew that though, right?” he asks for confirmation and you nod slowly, feeling weirded out by his big ego. you didn’t catch that vibe through his text messages.

“oh by the way, because of that, don’t get confused when i have some people over and throw parties here from time to time. that won’t be a problem, right?” he stares you down with confidence, seemingly trying to intimidate you. “as long as there aren’t too many people, it should be fine,” you answer skeptically and smile, trying to hide how uncomfortable you feel. “good. well what else do you want to know about me?”

you cringe slightly at his tone and think of how to phrase your next question without sounding too rude. “where did you get that arrogance from?” you perk up one eyebrow and watch his jaw tense, your own lips curving into a smile. he quickly readjusts his demeanour as he once again looks you up and down. he narrows his eyes at you and tilts his head to the side slightly, poking his tongue in his cheek before a sarcastic smile settles upon his lips. “where did you get your feistiness from?”

“i asked you first,” you shoot back, quick-witted. “and i asked you second,” he smiles sweetly.

the two of you stare each other down for a few seconds before you sigh and look away, making him puff out a chuckle and say something under his breath, “that’s what i thought.”

the rest of the morning was spent pretty much avoiding each other. you went back to your room and continued unpacking the boxes whilst he worked on the living room. you didn’t do any bonding, getting to know each other or even much more talking except for when you asked simon if he wanted anything to eat during lunchtime. he declined and kept on installing your new tv whilst you sat in the kitchen, munching on some leftover takeout from last night.

you watch him struggle with several cables for a while from the kitchen island, minding your own business until he groans out of frustration. you let out a snort and see his head snap up to you in anger, “what‘s so funny?”

you chuckle softly and smile it off, “nothing, please continue putting those cables in the wrong places, i’m quite entertained.”

after a few seconds of silence you look up from playing with your food to see him staring at you. “oh, so you think you can do this better?” he answers, nostrils flaring in anger. you nod cockily, jumping off of your barstool and joining him in front of the tv.

you grab the instructions out of his hands and feel his breath on your neck when he towers over you to read where you’re pointing on the paper. “see, you keep putting them in this,” you point at a real plug-in, “but you should be putting them in here,” you hold the paper next to the right plug-in post to compare the two.

you look up to see his jaw tense up once again as he nods at you stiffly. “i guess you’re right. how do you even know this stuff?” he mumbles, earning a victorious smile from you. “i studied cinematography for 4 years. i also learned how to install cables there. see, i would’ve told you earlier if you had asked. but you were too busy bragging about all your 9 million subscribers or whatever. anyway, i’ll be in my room if you need me.”

it’s 7pm when you hear a knock on your bedroom door. you look up from the box you were digging through and towards the door and answer, “you can come in.”

the door opens slightly to reveal simon holding a bag of more takeout. “so i noticed you eating chinese during lunch and didn’t know what other kind of food you liked so i just ordered us some takeout.” you laugh, making him look at you confusedly. “why did you order me chinese?”

he blinks, taken aback, “oh, uhm, i can just order us something else if that’s what you want. if you’d rather have, like, i don’t know, pizza? or anything, i don’t mind ordering-“

“that’s not what i meant, simon,” you look at him sternly and let him think over your words for a few seconds, watching the realisation hit him through his facial expression.

“right. i just wanted to say thank you for helping me earlier and sorry for accidentally walking in on you as well, i guess,” he answers awkwardly.

“and?” you smirk, liking the fact that you’re in control of the situation now. he sighs, “and sorry for pretty much being a dick the entire day without reason.”

“i accept your apology, roomie. now, let’s go eat before the food gets cold.”

about a week after moving in, your new apartment is almost fully finished and you and simon both agree on throwing a housewarming party. the two of you have had time to get to know each other better over the past few days and you’ve realised that a kind heart lies behind that stupid smirk of his. you just gotta make him feel guilty for being an absolute pain in the ass to reveal his sweeter side.

you’ve also learned that the two of you have loads of stuff in common and you seem to be hitting it off pretty well. except for the unexplainable tension the two of you have from time to time. you brush it off and blame it on your similar personalities clashing and competing for the title of the alpha in the house.

you snap out of your thoughts when you hear the front door open and simon yell “honey, i’m home!” you let out a giggle and get up from the couch to help him unpack the groceries for the party tonight.

“that’s... a lot of alcohol,” you laugh as he puts down several bags full of bottles onto the kitchen island.

he looks you in the eye and smiles, “there are going to be quite a few guests, remember? better too much than too little!”

you help him put the stuff away in silence for a few minutes before you attempt to start some small talk, “so how are you when you’re drunk?”

“i get really horny,” he answers within a heartbeat. instead of bursting out into laughter, you can feel your cheeks heat up and so you quickly turn your back to him, pretending to be putting something in one of the cupboards to hide your red face.

“oh, i-“ your breath catches in your throat and you can feel your blood stream through your veins when you suddenly feel simon’s presence right behind you. you turn around, biting your lip when you see him tower over you. he innocently smiles down at you, “well? are you going to move out of the way so i can put these chips away or what?”

you quickly close your mouth when you realise you were gaping up at him and move away from the cupboard when he gives you the space to do so.

“sorry about that. uhm, is it just me or is it getting hot in here? i think i’m just going to check the thermostat real quick,” you stutter out an excuse to leave the room, still feeling the blood pulse through your body in certain places.

you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to catch your breath. you can’t believe that just happened. you can’t believe you’re feeling this way about your roommate after meeting him just a week ago. you want this feeling to stop so you don’t ruin the small beginnings of the friendship you’ve only just started to create.

so you decide then and there that you’re going to shut him out. at least, in that way. you’re just going to ignore the sudden attraction you feel towards him. well, you’re going to try to.

it’s around 11pm when the first people start showing up. you and simon entertain your guests with tours of the house, beer pong, music playing loudly on the dance floor created in the living room and enough booze in the kitchen to pass out from. you don’t hold back on the alcohol yourself either.

“vik! oh my gosh i cannot thank you enough for messaging us about this place. this truly is all thanks to you,” you greet him with a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. he smiles at you brightly, “no thanks needed! i just felt like you and simon would be a perfect fit!” he grins and you try to shake off the stupid smile forming on your lips. “thank you again vik, please help yourself to something to drink in the kitchen! i’ll try to catch up with you later.”

after the next hour of greeting guests your house is fully loaded with people and it’s going to be a lot harder to move around in. abandoning your hosting duties at the front door, you go to grab yourself another drink in the kitchen when you bump into an old friend. “harry! hey! when did you get here?”

you can tell just by the look on his face that he has been here for a while: he looks absolutely shit-faced. “i don’t remember, to be quite honest,” he slurs out his answer, making you giggle a little. “what are you doing here? i didn’t know you knew simon,” he asks and you raise your brows. “i’m literally living with simon. this is our housewarming party!” harry seems to be in thought for a moment before it all clicks, “oh! you’re the hot bird he said he was living with, it all makes sense now. hey, wanna dance?” he practically drags you over towards the dance floor when not only your vision, but also your thoughts get a little cloudy.

your mind wanders over all the reasons why simon could’ve said that to harry. what else did simon tell him about you? does he usually describe his girl friends as ‘hot birds’? does this mean he is as attracted to you as you are to him? lost in your thoughts about simon, you barely even realise the fact that you’re grinding against harry.

when you open your eyes the room is spinning. you blink a few times until you can see clear. only now you notice simon standing across the room looking at you, jaw tensed as always, nostrils flaring and steam practically leaving his ears. still oblivious to your close proximity to harry, you eye him with a frown on your face.

you can see simon roll his eyes and disappear into the crowd so you decide to just ignore him, like you promised yourself you’d do. you continue dancing to the blaring music, swaying your hips dangerously from left to right. you finally remember harry dancing behind you when he grabs your sides and pulls you even closer. you lean into his touch, your head pretty much on his shoulder. you close your eyes, letting yourself get lost in the music.

after a while, you can feel yourself get tired and tell harry you’re going to get yourself another drink, leaving him on the dance floor.

suddenly getting overwhelmed by the huge crowd in your living room, you make a beeline for your bedroom instead. you close the door behind you, still feeling the bass of the music in your body but only hearing muffled lyrics being sung.

you sigh and make your way over to the bed to lie down for a second. you’re so intoxicated and don’t know what to do with yourself. that is, until someone barges into the room.

you sit up straight and see simon at the door, looking at you angrily. “what the hell are you doing in my room?” your eyes widen when you take in your surroundings. “shit, i thought- thought this was my room,” you stammer and stand up quickly, a little to quickly: your knees give in and you stumble to the floor. “fuck,” you groan, simon immediately coming over to help you up. “how many have you had to drink? christ, you can barely stand up,” he shakes his head in disappointment.

“i don’t- don’t remember. what about you? are you horny yet?” you ask him in a sudden boost of confidence.

he once again shakes his head in disappointment, biting his lip at but ignoring your comment. “we should probably send everyone home now, i think the party is over.”

you sit back down on his bed and pout. “you’re no fun! it’s only- it’s barely 1 am! right?” you slur out, looking at the blurry numbers of the alarm clock on his bedside table.

“it’s 3 am. i think it’s best if we send everyone home-“ you cut him off, “but harry is- he’s still waiting for me out there. i- i told him i’d be back.”

this immediately gets a reaction from simon: tensed jaw, narrowed eyes and crossed arms. “you’re not getting back out there. especially not to dance with harry,” he spits out his name in disgust, making you giggle, “hey, hey what’s up with that? i thought you were friends?”

simon rolls his eyes while he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “i don’t want to talk about harry right now. just- stay here for a sec and i’ll-“ he is about to open the door when you cut him off. “wait wait wait! did i just hear... jealousy? in your voice?” you bat your eyelashes at him innocently while he grits his teeth.

“no, i-“ he tries, but you cut him off once again, standing up when you speak. “it sure sounds like jealousy to me! what, you didn’t like it when i was dancing with harry, huh?” you slowly make your way over to him, continuing your innocent act.

“is that it? you’d rather have been the one who was dancing with me? the ‘hot bird’ you’re living with? right? harry told me that’s what you called me. i bet you still think about that first time you saw me-“

“shut up! we’re not having this conversation right now. you’re- you’re not able to think straight right now,” he frowns, yet his cheeks still redden when you get close to him. you smirk and touch his chest with both of your hands.

“maybe not, but jealous you is like... really turning me on right now,” you bite your lip coyly and look up at him through your lashes.

you leave him breathless for a second as he rolls his head back for a second, slightly gasping for air. “you know what you’re doing to me, don’t you? you’re making it very hard for me to control myself right now,” he licks his lips and his eyes flicker between your eyes and your mouth.

“then stop trying to fight it, simon. i want you,” you drag out your words slowly. at this, he switches positions with you and pins you down against the door, foreheads touching.

“stop saying things that make me want to kiss you,” he mutters to you, breathing heavily.

you finally close the space between you and kiss him harshly. after a few seconds, you gasp for air and he leaves your lips to work his way around your neck, locking the door whilst doing so. “simon,” you moan, throwing your head back as he trails kisses down your neck. once again, you feel your blood and the bass from the music pulse through your body. “fuck,” you trail off as his hands roam your body. you meet his lips again in one of many heated kisses that’ll follow that night.

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graceslavenderhaze · 4 years ago

Text

bright { connor stevens}

synopsis: connor knows your soul and you know his. now that knowledge is put to the test.

authors note

part two of haunted!

in this story a evil eye bracelet is use, which is a talisman used for protection against misfortune and injury. i have used evil talismans since childhood and their apart of my culture which is why i’m adding them into my writing.

also i tried my best to reconstruct the timeline so if there’s some mistakes and gaps, i tried lol.

also the major plot twists i threw into this? whip lash worthy

Your walk home was accompanied by your tears and broken heart. While your mind was on auto pilot buzzing through every moment you spent with Connor, trying to pin point the exact moment everything had gone wrong. Was he being honest with you? Did he suddenly start caring all of a sudden what your over bearing parents thought about your relationship with him? Or was he just never into you that much to beginning with. You weren’t immune to hearing the whispers in the hallway and how cruel your classmates could be, while Connor always reassured you. Your mind always had that deep corner that was out for blood and to hurt you.

Your cheeks were raw and your eyes were stinging by the time you had returned back home. All the lights were out downstairs and upstairs. You snuck back into your bedroom with ease. You had no willpower once you entered through your windowpane to do anything. You shrugged off the jacket and your shoes, managed to changed into the first pair of clean pajamas you saw and the second your head hit the pillow, you were out.

You woke up to your alarm and felt like you had been left on the side of the road after being ran over. You sat up to check your phone and saw that there had been a few notifications from your socials and texts from Luke, they were about Connor. Adding insult to injury. You stared at the texts debating if you should even them, and deciding against them. You couldn’t deal with this decaffeinated.

“So he just broke up with you? Out of nowhere?” Carrie said as you had finished ranting to your friends. You nodded and her face furrowed. “That’s out of character for him, he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky.” She said nonchalantly making a turn onto out of the coffee shop parking lot. You took a sip of your coffee.

“It’s so out of character for him.” Kayla commented from the backseat, you turned slightly to look at her. “Obviously we don’t know him as well as you do but c’mon that’s so weird.” It was weird, you didn’t put everything together in the moment but something was definitely going on.

“You’re right.” You murmured. You didn’t want to give yourself excuses but something was definitely going on. As you rolled into school you noticed Luke and your eyebrows furrowed, Connor wasn’t with him. They always walked to school together. Unless he ditched.

“Hey!” Luke announced as he walked up to Carries car when you’d gotten out. “Hi.” You said shortly walking past with your friends. “You seen Connor yet?” You and your friends stopped short. “Why would she keep tabs on her ex?” Carrie snarked. Confusion washed over Luke and he went silent as a sympathetic look was cast your way. You smiled before you and your friends continued your way to class.

After school, you stayed late to hang with Kayla as she choreographed some more things for dance while you worked on your homework. Eventually you were both kicked out by the boys wrestling team and when leaving the coach asked if you knew where Connor was, you shook your head and went your way with Kayla. “He didn’t show at all today?” You voiced with concern to Kayla, she met your face with mutual concern. “You should call him. Breakup aside this is some criminal minds type shit.” You nodded. You pulled your phone out and your finger hung over his contact before you finally pressed down.

The ringing went on and on which just built up your anxiety. Then his voicemail. “Hey it’s Connor, leave a message if you even do that anymore it’s the twenty first century.” You swallowed and looked at Kayla. “Hey, i know i’m probably the last person you want to hear from but where ever you are can you just call me and let me know you’re not kidnapped or something morbid like that. ok bye.”

“Effective.” She said as you opened the passenger door. “Well sorry i don’t have a go to my ex who i love is missing might be missing and i’m concerned voicemail at the ready.” You said buckling your seatbelt. “Weakling.” She said pulling out of the school parking lot.

“Where’s y/n? “ Hanna asked as they went through Connor’s backpack that they had found in the woods the day prior. Luke hadn’t spoken anything of Connor and yours breakup with the rest of the group and they’d been confused on the absence of their friend. “Connor and her broke up the night before he went missing.” Luke said to the group. The room went silent other than the humming of the art room lights.

“Is that why she’s been avoiding us?” Gabby asked, she’d seen you several times and you’d dodged. It wasn’t intentional it was just that they were Connors friends first. “Probably.” Jai said continuing to look through the backpack when a letter addressed to you fell out. He looked at the group, “Nope not reading it.”

“None of us are!” Hanna said as Luke inched towards it. Gabby nodded, “I have class with her next period. I’ll give it to her.” She said shooting the boys looks. The boys both put their heads down like dogs in the dog house.

Eventually, the bell had rung so the group went separate ways and when Gabby saw you in class she sat next to you before you had the chance to move seats she dropped the letter on your desk. “We know why you’re avoiding us. But he left this for you, Luke found his backpack in the woods yesterday and he’s convinced something happened.” She said keeping her voice down not wanting to draw any attention to the two of you. You nodded taking everything in.

You slipped the letter into your backpack. “I want to help but things with my parents aren’t the best right now and besides my shifts at the book store i’m on lock down.” You explained to her, there was nothing more you wanted than to help Connor. She nodded. “I totally understand. I’ll text you updates.” She said with a reassuring smile. You gave her a smile and then turned your attention to the class even though the only thing you could think about was the letter in your backpack.

It had been hours before you were able to read the letter that Connor had left you. It sat there taunting you. You ripped it open and didn’t know what to feel. It just had a post it note that said you’re enough, then ticket stubs from dates you’d been on and a wax bracelet with an evil eye charm attached. You put the bracelet on almost instantly. Nothing made sense.

What you had was a piece of the puzzle.

On Monday, Connor was here. Sleep deprived, worried eyed and self heart broken. Tuesday came like sunrise and he was gone as if he never existed. The only thing left was his backpack and laptop that was password encrypted.

On Tuesday, his backpack had been found in the woods he last was in before he disappeared. With trinket lights, a letter for you, and a note that was chalked up to be clues.

On Wednesday, his friends went through his backpack at school. Hanna and Luke snuck into his house and stole his laptop in hopes of figuring out more about what happened to him. Later, that day Jai finds out the group didn’t make it out of the woods in time and was in deed cursed by the shadow man. Jai was almost taken in his basement, Hanna and Seth were almost taken in their living room, and Gabby while on a jog.

Not being able to get any contact of Luke who was at wrestling practice, Gabby stole her mom’s car to hopefully save her friend. The group took refugee at Connor’s house for the night. The shadow man came back and they managed to fight him off this time. Hanna cracked the password to Connor’s laptops and they figured out that he was cursed too. He was researching into the curse and was going to the lighthouse to preform a ritual to end it all.

Pieces came together, like the corners of a puzzle.

When Thursday rolled around you found yourself studying in the cafeteria when Gabby and Jai came to sit with you. “Hey.” You said looking up from your textbook. “Hi.” Gabby said with a nervous look on her face. “What’s going on?” You asked looking at the both of them with confusion and concern at the same time.

“Your mom’s maiden name is Murphy, right?” Jai asked as he pulled out an old yearbook. You nodded, “Yeah but what does this have to do with Connor?” Jai placed the open yearbook in front of you. “This is June Murphy, she was the first victim of the shadow man curse we think, she was the light house keepers daughter, well one of them.” Gabby explained to you.

“One of them? Whose the other?” You asked flipping to the next page, and staring up at you was your own mother. Who looked somewhat like. “Oh shit.” You muttered. “We didn’t know for sure.” Jai said sympathetically.

“It’s definitely her, probably think it was me if her name wasn’t there.” You said looking up and pulling your phone out to take a picture of the year book pages. “She chastises me for lying when she has a whole hidden identity.” You said slumped in shock.

“We’re sorry.” Gabby said placing her hand on your wrist in an act of comfort. “Maybe she knows something that can help with Connor?” Jai implied, you shrugged. “I’ll talk to her later and let you guys know if it’s anything helpful. I have to go meet Carrie about the glow dance.”

“Also Jai, If you’re planning on asking Kayla. Her dress is purple. Just a heads up.” You said as you grabbed your textbook and walked away from your two friends with questions swirling around your head. How was this suddenly a real life scenario in your life?

“Mom!” You announced when you walked in your house. She was in her bedroom. You hadn’t talked to her since the night you last saw Connor. “We need to talk.” You said, She smiled. She thinks she going to win, she has no idea what’s coming.

“I’m so glad you came to your senses about that boy.” She said. You laughed pulling your phone out. “No we need to talk about your double life.” Her face went pale and fear overstruck it. You had never seen your mother scared in your entire life, not even when you broke your arm.

“Tell me your secrets and i’ll tell mine.” You said with your arms crossed. She sat there for a minute before she exhaled. “First you need to understand everything i did was to protect you. Second, i need to know what you know. ” You nodded, you’d never seen your mother like this before so whatever she was about to say must be gospel truth.

“I know June Murphy was the lighthouse keepers daughter, well one of them, she tried to save the lighthouse and failed, then she died. Not so long after the light house was shut down and then her dad died not so long after her.” You said and your mom nodded.

“June fought to save the light house and was only a few signatures short. She’s a lot you, you’d like her. One night she decided she’d turn the lighthouse on by herself. Only problem was we’d thrown the key off the cliff into the water earlier that day. June swore she saw it hanging by a low branch. So we went to get it. It was pouring so when she came just close, she slipped and she fell.” Tears collected in your mothers eyes and you regretted everything you said about her earlier.

“My father was devastated and took a book of shadows. He turned himself into a monster to try and get my sister back. In the end, i lost them both.” She said as she stood up and went into her closet pulling out out a medium sized wooden chest.

“I changed my name, moved to an out of state college and when i married your father. We moved back here, perfect place for a family. No one remembered me because there was nothing worth remembering anymore.” She placed it down and opened it. There was pictures, a baby blanket and other keepsakes.

“At the time i couldn’t understand how my father turned himself into a monster to save a daughter he lost, when he still had one who was alive. But after i had you. I understood. I could never let that happen.” You sat there. Your parents had been hard on you but if this was the reason? You had no reason to complain.

“Does dad know?” You asked. She nodded, “You can’t go through something like that and keep it to yourself you need to let burdens off your shoulders and lean on the ones you love.” You nodded. She sat next to you on the bed “I’m sorry about what i said about your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my, um, that’s a whole mess right now.” You said to her. “He broke up with me the night we fought, i snuck out of my window. Then went missing the next day and his friends who are also my friends, but that societal you can’t have mutual friend with a significant other bullshit was in my head, found out he was in the light house cottage before he disappeared so they went there too. He wasn’t there but his backpack was in the woods, which are cursed so now they’re cursed and they’re trying to save him and themselves before the shadow man takes them like they took Connor.” You rambled on. Your mother look at you as you had three heads. “Are you cursed?” She asked placing a hand on your shoulder.

“No but like i’m sitting on the sides watching everyone i love get taken so i wish i was at this point.” you said as your mother took you into a hug and you started to break down. “I don’t know what to do, i need someone to tell me what to do.” You cried into her shoulder as she soothed you like she used to when you were a baby.

“It’s going to be alright, we have something that the shadow man doesn’t.” she said getting up and grabbing something from your dads side of the closet. A small book, before she grabbed your hand. “Where are we going?” You asked. “A family reunion.” She said as you both walked out of the front door and into the car. She looked over at your wrist, “Where’d you get that?” It was the evil eye bracelet.

“Connor left it for me before he disappeared.” You said subconsciously rubbing the bracelet to soothe yourself. “Smart move.” She said as she pulled out of the drive way. “Why?” You asked you knew the evil eye was protective. “A protective talisman, gifted by a lover? He had every intention of protection you from the shadow man whether he was taken or not.” She said looking over. “Breaking up with you, the letter, and the talisman? He loves you. Call it motherly intuition.”

“Yeah well when we save him, i have a lot to talk to him about.” You said as you looked out the window. “You could talk to me about it.” You looked back. “I realize that in these past years protecting may have drawn a wall between us and that's not what i want and that's not what i ever wanted.” You knew it would take some time but you wanted it too. “I don’t know if that would work. I usually complain about you and dad.” You joked as you looked back out the window.

“A magic shop? What are we witches?” You said to your mother. She turned to you. “Mom.” She ignored your advances and once you made it to the door you were asked about a password.

“Lemme guess abracadabra?” The door slide open. This wasn’t the weirdest thing that had happened this week. “See you’re a natural.” Your mom winked. Your eyes widen. A man in an extravagant purple suit answers the door. He’s taken back. That makes two of us.

“Okay, to recap. You’re my dad’s brother but he decided to never bring you up for some unknown reason and my family has ties to magic and shadow powers?” Your mom and Sardo nodded. “Is there any other major family secrets you wanna tell me?”

“Teenagers.” Sardo muttered. “Wait teenagers as in plural.” Your mother said turning her attention to Sardo. “Yes i run a magic shop, teenagers come in.” He said nonchalantly. “Have any other teenagers come in today asking about the shadow man?” You asked.

“Well there was this group of rugrats earlier today.” The midnight society. “Earlier this week this tall, lanky, one dressed in all black came in for a spell book.” He explained. “Connor?” You asked. Sardo got up and went through his purchase slips. “Yes, Connor Stevens.”

“What’d he get?” Your mom asked while you got up and took the slip from your new found long lost uncles hand. “Skeleton key and a love potion.” You said looking back up at her. “He didn’t use a love potion on me.” You said to your mom.

“Oh this is the boyfriend? Wow family drama must be fun on facebook!” Sardo said sitting down. “He had the book of shadows though. How’d he get it?” You asked as you put the slip back. “He broke in and stole it on monday night.” He exclaimed.

“It was in a life or death situation, i think that’s excusable.” You reasoned. Sardo shook his head, “That book brings nothing but trouble and even more darkness into the world every time you open it. It’s a book of shadows. Its dark magic. Not white magic.” He announced with a dissatisfied look on his face

“And you all want me to learn this? I’m not being sold on it.” You said sitting back in your seat. “There’s more than dark magic. There light magic, green magic, crystal magic and so on. Every practitioner chooses between the dark path and the light path.” Sardo explained as he stood up to grab a grimoire.

“What path will help me save my friends? Is there a path for that, cause i want that path.” You said as your mom rubbed your shoulder. “You don’t choose a path, the path chooses you.” Sardo explained pushing the grimoire close.

“What if dark magic chooses me?” You voiced, silence washed over the room. “Why do you want to save your friends?” You were taken aback, why? “Wouldn’t it be easier to let them all just be claimed? Throw in the towel, make new friends.”

“No!” You bellowed. “That’s not right, there’s always a way and when there’s love there’s light.” You explained. Your mom smiled at your answer. “If that’s how you feel. Dark magic won’t choose you.”

By the time you’d left the magic shop it was late and Gabby wasn’t answering her phone. You’d given an update about what had happen.

It was starting to make sense, not perfect sense, not just yet.

On Friday the glow dance had rolled around, what also rolled around was a stomach virus that had cause Carrie and Kayla to miss school and not be able to attend the dance. Gabby hadn’t been in class so you assumed she was also out with the stomach virus. Hanna met up with you during lunch letting you know what happened the night before. She tells you that Luke’s returning the book of shadows after school and everything should be back to normal now. Oh how wrong she was.

You weren’t able to see Connor after school, you had a shift and then were going to get ready for the dance. Gabby texted you that he was feeling up to going so you’d see him there. An hour into the dance and you ended up wandering the halls. You had felt this pit in your stomach and needed air.

But once you went into the hallway the pit just grew larger and larger. “Hey stranger.” Your eye evil bracelet burned and blinded. You looked up from your wrist and turned around. “Connor?” You asked. There was a screaming voice in your head. It felt wrong. “Who else?” He asked coming closer. You saw a light shine through a classroom and walked backwards towards it. Once the light enveloped you and Connor still stayed back. His sleeves were rolled up and his wrists were bare. The real Connor wears a rainbow bracelet you made him.

“The shadow man perhaps?” You suggested, the smirk on “Connors” face dropped. You inched closer to the switch that controlled the hallway lights and switched it on, when the lights were on “Connor” was gone.

You started to go towards the gym seeing your friends on stage with Sardo and “Connor” in the crowd knowing a rescue mission was already in place. All you could do was stand there and wait. Within ten minutes, the shadow man had out smarted your friends and Jai sacrificed himself to save the group.

On Saturday you were completely left out of the loop. You heard nothing. Gabby wasn’t answering. Hanna wasn’t answering. You feared the worse and could do nothing to save your friends. That what Sardo said earlier was going to come true. You still had that pit in your stomach. You were reading your grimoires but it felt useless, why study if right here and right now. The people you care about most are disappearing through your finger tips.

On Saturday night your parents brought you upstairs and put your to bed, but you stayed restless with worry. You stared at the ceiling and walls of your bedroom before at some point your mind gave up and lulled you to a nightmare filled sleep. Losing Gabby, Losing Hanna, Losing Jai, Losing Luke. Losing Connor. Like a broken tape it looped over and over and over.

It all fell apart right in front of you.

On Sunday morning Kayla and Carrie had recovered from their stomach flu. Your mom invited them over in an effort to distract and cheer you up. You told them everything. Life’s too short to keep secrets from your best friends. Especially when you don’t know how long you have left with them.

Suddenly it was Friday again and you were at your shift at the book store again. You pulled your phone out to text Carrie and Kayla. They both responded with the same texts they did on the Friday of the glow dance. “What the actual fuck.” You muttered. The door rung several times signaling a mass group of people walked in.

The midnight society had just seen that Sardo was alive and remembered that you work Friday shifts. Which caused them to practically sprint to see you, Connor leading. When your friends all walked through the door you stopped in your tracks. “Seen a ghost?” Gabby said with a smile. “i hate you all i hate your children and your childrens children.” You said rushing to hug her.

“Hear that Connor?” Luke said causing his friend to hit him upset the head. “That’s a two way road.” You said hugging Hanna. Then Luke, Jai and Seth. Then there was Connor.

“I’m gonna go take a nap, really tired see you guys later.” Gabby said excusing herself. “Same honestly, later.” Hanna said leaving with Seth. “I’m just going to go.” Luke said dragging Jai with him. You laughed at your friends.

“I’m scared that if i walk any closer you’ll disappear like last time.” You said looking at him. He walked towards you. Grabbed your hand and placing it on his heart. “This real enough for you?” He said leaning his forehead against yours. You smiled. Noticing the blinded evil eye he smiled, “So that worked.”

His head moved to rest on top of yours and you wrapped your arms around his torso. “Legally, you’re obligated to stay like this for at least twenty minutes.” You laughed moving your head into the crook of his neck. “I’m okay with that.”

“I didn’t mean breaking up with you, i just didn’t know what happened when he took you and couldn’t let that happened to you.” He said slightly holding you closer. “I understand. Just never do it again.” You said to him, he laugh and nodded.

“So the glow dance?” You pulled away because your shift was starting to end. “You’re up for that?” You said as you started putting stray books in the resort bins. “I’m always up for a good time.” He said sitting on the front counter. You nodded, “Pick me up at 7.”

“What about your parents?” He questioned. “A lot happened when you were gone.” You said starting to rant to your boyfriend.

it rebuilt it self.

#are you afraid of the dark #are you afraid of the dark imagine #ayaotd #ayaotd imagine #connor stevens #connor stevens imagine #luke mccoy #gabby lewis #hanna romero #jai malyas #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #grace writes

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dear--charlie · 4 years ago

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Dear Charlie,

every time I remember you, I regret not writing to you more often. So, here I am again. There are so many things on my mind ... but as I am typing, I know one thing I can start with, or more like dedicate this whole letter to. I think it's a good time to write everything down here and now – to you. It’s personal, I hope no one I know ever find this, the chances are zero, but even if, it doesn’t matter anyways. So, it will be a long letter, you’re warned!

It started in fall, one and a half years ago, when I was at a friends place. She had invited some friends over to hang out in the evening. Another friend of a friend was also coming, he wasn’t there yet and I didn’t know him, just his name from stories. So we were sitting in the room, playing something as he also arrives. The moment he entered the room, I knew. Normally I don’t „sense“ the energy someone brings or something like that, but in this moment, I just felt I would like him. I felt we would get along. And I wasn’t wrong.

We all continued to play and chat, I didn’t talk to him directly that evening, just within the group. One time someone said something and he responded, the answer he gave, the words he chose and how he pronounced them were exactly what I was thinking and how I would’ve responded myself. There is this quote I read some months ago, it’s about how with so many people on this planet, it’s no coincidence that others are thinking the same, but it’s still a fucking wonder to meet someone who says what you are thinking. But I didn’t know this quote back then, I just sat there and felt it’s immensity. The next really weird thing, well, one of the thirst things I noticed probably, he looked and spoke just like him. With him I mean the one (and to this day still the only) person I was „lovestroke“ for. Really, if you could see them both, you wouldn’t believe it either. With the difference, that he was not only cuter, but also the fact that he was in that room and friends with my friends, what meant that we two might actually have things in common. Kind of unreal! For a moment I also thought: How come y’all never introduced us? Isn’t it obvious we are alike, or might be? How could we know our friends for years but our paths never crossed? Of course everyone only has their lives on mind, but this just crossed my mind in an egocentric flash. Well on this evening, we all didn’t stay long. When I walked home I checked to find his social media, but his account was private and I didn’t send a request. Shortly after when I came home I got a notification and saw that he followed me.

After that night – nothing really happened. Not nothing, we sometimes texted a bit. We skipped smalltalk, just talked about music and stuff, but like I said, not much. Once he told some personal things. Nothing more. There were a lot of other things going on in my life and it just got less.

Many weeks later when I hung out with two of the friends who also know him, they mentioned his name, then looked meaningful at each other. When I looked confused, one friend told me the two of them hooked up, but it was clear she wasn’t positive about it or him. She didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to come across interested.

Let’s fast forward several months. It was summer and our mutual friend asked me if I’d be down to go swimming the next day. I said yes and got to hers in the morning and she suddenly said we’ll drive to his and pick him up because he’ll be coming as well. I literally went „!“ inside. So we got there and picked him up. Everything was normal, we met other friends and went swimming. Before that I wasn’t sure how it will be, if I’d still get this feeling, or do I just like him friendship-wise? But this afternoon let no doubt. It was a crush. We talked a bit and also I recognised that he looked at me sometimes. I was sure I wasn’t just imagining.

A month later a big group of friends went on holidays together for a week, including me and him. One night when just the two of us were outside and talking I regretted everything later in bed because I thought I messed it up by not talking much and when saying the wrong things and so on. But then, one night, he slept in my room and we finally hooked up. Also the next day in the bathroom. On our way home we also cuddled in the car and when we said goodbye we said we’ll see each other. Usually, after a week with many people I’d want to chill, but I immediately had the urge to see him again the moment I sat down on my bed. We texted and set up a date a few days later. I couldn’t wait.

We met and went on a hill to watch the sunset. We made out and walked around. It never felt so right for me to hold someones hand publicly. I also told him I would leave for a while, in a month. Before we said goodbye, we talked. I was kind of an idiot because I overshared, and lowkey told him I like him, which I regretted later. When I walked home that night I remember smiling like a dumbass. When I thought about him, I had to smile. Never had I thought that this can be true, that you just have to smile and can’t fight it. So weird. Felt like I was micro dosing molly for a week straight.

Anyways. Then the trouble began. Nothing big in the beginning, but it was very hard to set up dates with him in general and when we were about to meet again he cancelled right before. It wasn’t like when you make plans with someone and they then can’t make it and you’re fine with it, because I was actually sad about it. Also it felt more like it was due to his mismanaged time and that it wasn’t as much as a priority for him. When I saw him in person I felt like he reciprocated everything, which I also never experienced like this. So I was confused. Then I straight up texted if he wants to see me again, or not really? Something that I would have never done that quickly anytime before, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up and was running out of time before I was leaving. He replied that I got it wrong, he really wants to see me again.

And we saw each other again. I went to his place. There was a bit of a fog over it in the beginning, but i eventually passed and we hooked up. I slept there. The next day, he brought me to the train. I think we even kissed as goodbye. He said he would like to do this again, I replied I’d love to. This was the last time I saw him for about a year.

I texted the next days for new plans, nothing came out of it. So I decided to wait for him to ask the next time. I waited 7 days. I almost went mad. It was his birthday in between and I decided not to text him, would’ve been weird. I texted a friend, who's also friends with him and asked if I could meet her. We met and I told her pretty much the whole story. She listened the whole time and asked things in between. Then she said she knows the reason he didn’t reach out. He has another girl and is really in love. I started crying in the middle of the street.

He would have never told me, called, texted or just anything. I was hurt by that. My friend said she would talk to him and hint that he should tell me. And he actually texted me a few days later if I would want to meet „to talk“. I agreed. When he finally responded he postponed the meet up again. I couldn't wait another several days for a conversation that he might reschedule again. It was clearly not important to him at all. I said we should just drop it. That’s was it. No final talk.

Months later, when I was back in town, I saw him on Bumble. I asked my friend about it, but she said it’s weird since she still has his girlfriend. Then I see him on Tinder with an up to date profile. In my mind-delusion I assumed they might actually not date anymore and my friend just doesn’t know yet. Then I saw him again for the first time since everything at a party. He talked to me normally, like nothing happened. Some days later I ask friends why he is on Tinder when he still has a girlfriend. For some reason a part of me expected to hear „oh yeah they broke up“, but no, they told me they both are on there to meet „friends“. I let my illusions go and tried to accept everything as it was.

The funny thing is, I started the draft to this story some days ago. Wanted to write it down to be finished with it and let it go once and for all. Since then I found out they broke up. But this doesn’t mean anything now. I accepted that there will be nothing serious between us, or, at least, I am on the best way to it. I will see him again, because of our mutual friends. So we’ll see how I will do.

I just rarely had such a vibe with someone and it's hard to let that go, you know? Meeting someone you could actually fit together with, someone you feel like you can be authentically yourself in front of at some point, ... it basically never happens. It would have been easier to let it go if he would have been honest and told me in a last talk. Of course, in the beginning I would have been sad as well, but eventually, there is less potential to obsess when it feels finished. And doing the correct thing is what stays, I'm not just saying that, you know I really do appreciate it. Still don't know if I should be angry or just forgive by myself, without ever bringing it up again.

That’s all about this story for now.

I really hope you are good.

Love,

#dear charlie #ZL

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1044

survey by a7xbabii

Do you use e-mail often? I use it for eight hours, five days a week for work, so yes.

Do you hear any animals right now? I’m in a Starbucks inside a mall situated in the middle of a busy highway. It would be very unlikely to hear any animals right now.

Are you in a well-lit room? Sure, I’d say this establishment has good lighting. There’s no light directly above me unlike the other seats, but it’s okay in this case as I don’t want other people seeing me take surveys.

Is your trashcan full? The main one we use at home just got full, so the last time I checked this morning my mom was airing it out.

What was the last crunchy thing you consumed? My chicken barbecue sandwich from last night.

Did you view anything disturbing today? Hmm, I guess so? I wanted to entirely redo one part of my embroidery piece since I wasn’t happy with how I did it, so I had to remove the threads and stuff. When they were all gone the template was filled with holes and it looked like one of those trypophobia photos. I’m not personally disturbed by that phenomenon, but I know a lot of people are.

Are there any holiday decorations in your house? Yeah, we’ve had our Christmas tree up since the beginning of November. We also usually put a wreath up our door but idk why my mom didn’t this year.

When was the last time you had a terrible headache? Last night, because I had not eaten all day.

Have you recently put lotion on your hands? No. I don’t like the feeling of lotion, so I don’t apply it on me a lot, if at all.

Are you hungry? Not so much, actually. I don’t feel too hungry today; I didn’t even finish my breakfast and that’s the only meal I’ve had so far today, and it’s already 4 PM.

Is it rainy where you're at right now? No, it’s quite fair. The sun’s not too strong anymore because of the time, but it’s still very much bright out.

Do you carry a purse? If so, describe what it looks like. I take a wallet with me. It’s pink, made of fake leather, has three main slots inside, and it also has some tiny bite marks on the outer edges from when Cooper was a lot younger.

Is your cell phone on vibrate? For certain notifications only, like texts and Viber.

Is your dishwasher full? We don’t use a dishwasher.

When is the last time you saw someone you like/love. Around a week and a half ago.

Do you like to wear gloves? No, I find them too itchy and I don’t need to wear them anyway.

Is there a body of water near where you live? There’s a creek that passes through my village near the clubhouse area, if that counts.

What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? No opinion. I never listened to them; though I am reminded of this one mutual I used to have on Tumblr/Twitter. She used to be a wrestling fan and was a part of our main circle, but she gradually shifted her main fandom to Avenged Sevenfold. By the time she cemented her new interest she then went on a huge unfollowing spree of wrestling fans on her feed and she apparently PM’d each person she intended to unfollow, including me. I remember her explaining that she was now in a different fandom and was gonna have to stop following me which I found...kinda extra to be honest lmao because nobody does that, but I appreciate the effort to approach each one of us, I guess.

Are you wearing anything pink right now? Nope, but my wallet is pink and so is my keyboard cover.

Do you like to swim in the ocean? I prefer beaches, but sure.

What is the creepiest bug you've ever saw? Cockroaches.

Do you currently have split ends? I don’t think so.

When is the last time you used the bathroom? Around five hours ago when I took a shower before heading out.

Do you chew on your lip? Almost never.

Are you afraid of needles? For the most part yeah, especially syringes. I’m not afraid of them when I do my embroidery, but that’s the only time I feel comfortable with a needle.

What is the last thing you lost? A pen, I think.

When is the last time you saw a bald person? Five hours ago, when I said bye to my dad.

What car were you last in? [continued from two days ago] My own. I was driving home from the mall.

Do you like Batman? I tried to get into Batman and the whole shebang of comic books when I was a teenager, but I just couldn’t.

Have you ever played tennis? Never have, actually. I’ve always wanted to try.

Can you see a star shape in the room you are in? Probably not in my bedroom.

What are you sitting on? A pillow I’ve placed on my work chair so that it’s more comfortable. My parents got me a basic chair initially meant just for my internship, so it’s not the comfiest of chairs haha. But now that I have a job, a more suitable work chair is probably one of things I’ll have to invest on.

What is the last warm thing you touched? My chest felt itchy just a few seconds ago, so I was able to feel my skin scratching it.

Do you use hand sanitizer? That’s kind of a necessity now, so...

Where do you want to go in life? [continued from...I don’t even remember anymore] I don’t know if I even plan to make it past 30 at this point. I can’t answer this right now.

Are you sweating? No, I’ve been in air-conditioned rooms all day and it feels so damn good.

When is the last time you had to scratch an itch? A few minutes ago when my neck itched.

Are you in any kind of club or group that is trying to save animals? No, but I very much support the cause.

Who is the last blonde you saw? At work today I saw someone who had her hair dyed blonde.

Where were you two hours after you got up, and what were you doing there? I needed to go to the office today because my team and I needed to pack some stuff to seed to certain media. It was the first time I got to visit the place and it was sooooooo homey and pretty :) I wish we can be allowed to work in the office soon; it would be best for my mental health at this point.

Do you wish for world peace? Um, of course.

Have you ever played fetch with a dog? We were able to teach Cooper how to pick up items that we throw but he’s still slowly learning that he actually has to give it back to us, haha.

What is the nearest object that is wood? The table I am typing on is made of wood.

Do you use Netflix? Yes, we have a family subscription.

Does your house have a fireplace? No, we don’t. And I can confidently tell you all other houses in this entire country, and probably the whole of Southeast Asia, don’t.

Do you wake yourself up in the morning, or does someone else? I wake myself up. On important days, I’ll put an alarm on.

What kind of hoodie did you last wear? It was a white hoodie with a UP seal on the left side.

Do you play games on your computer? No, my laptop isn’t equipped for games. I tried downloading Sims 4 when they made it free for a few weeks back in 2018, but my laptop’s fan started whirring like crazy and the battery got drained super fast. The entire period of me booting it up and then deleting it took like, a literal 15 minutes.

What is the last video game that you played? Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. I want to get myself Switch games as gifts, but I’m just so stingy towards myself hahaha.

Have you ever pet a stingray? I’m 50% would like to at least once and 50% I know of what it did to Steve Irwin, and I’m not messing with them.

If you were on vacation, would you ever go to Ireland? It’s not a big item on my bucket list, honestly. I’d love to go to Ireland, but it would probably be a part of a bigger itinerary, like if I decided to take a trip to that part of Europe.

Are you logged into Myspace right now? I haven’t been on there for more than a decade.

Did you have anything bad happen to you today? Yeah, but they’re stuff that happened at work that are a little hard to explain.

Have you ever been to New York? Nope. I’d love to take a trip there.

Do you use the term "lol" if you don't have anything to say? Not really. I use it in the end of my messages more so that I don’t sound mean.

Should you be sleeping right now instead of taking this survey? Hell no. It’s a Friday night so the last thing I want to be doing is sleeping.

Can you truly say you hate anyone? I don’t think so. I greatly dislike my brother, but I guess I don’t hate him. I find it too strong a word.

Have you ever disected a baby pig in a class at school? Not a piglet, no. We dissected an earthworm, a fish, and eventually a frog.

What brand of dish liquid do you use? A local brand you wouldn’t recognize.

When is the last time you ate a Hershey Kiss? It’s probably been more than a year. It’s not my favorite candy.

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Yes.

Do you currently have any blemishes on your face? No. My pimple finally went away, hallelujah.

Who is the last baby you held? My cousin who is now 13 years old. I’m too anxious to hold babies; I always feel like I’d drop them so I find myself declining even when I have the chance to hold one.

Are you a lover? I guess.

Do you use smileys often in text convos? Yes. Not a lot of people like them but it’s better to sound friendly and approachable than stoic.

Do you have the Google toolbar on your computer? Like...Chrome? I have the program, yeah. It’s my default browser as well.

Do you like Sunkist? I’ve never had it.

Would you ever consider being a cannibal? I mean...I guess only if I was in a life-and-death situation, like if a plane I was in crashed on an island and I was starting to get hungry. I certainly don’t fantasize about cannibalism on any regular day.

Did you forget something important in the past week? I made a few mistakes at work due to me forgetting things, yeah.

Do you like learning new things? Sure.

What color is your toothpaste? White.

Are the floors in your house creaky? Nopes. I don’t think our doors are creaky-level just yet as well.

Do you fear death? I hate the uncertainty of what happens while it’s taking place, and what happens after. But I’ve been wishing for it for a while as well. There’s a difference.

Is your mouth dry? Not right now, no.

Do yoou have any scars from an animal? Yeah I’ve got a few marks and scratches from Cooper. I never run out of them, really.

Did you have fun with this survey? It was okay.

Was it random enough? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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n-ctarinenga · 5 years ago

Text

Be Home Soon [ calum hood ]

w.a.h series | pt.1 | word count: 3,912 | masterlist

Sometimes, when you let your mind wander, you would come back to a thought that encompasses every other question you'd asked yourself in the last few years.

Where would you be now, if yours and Calum's lives hadn't merged when they did?

You admittedly hadn't had the best of weeks upon the day you had met Calum in Los Angeles. Being a graphic designer from the same side of the world as him though, it was easy to find a mutual connection.

Before sitting down in a waiting room at Interscope records, your week had been filled with paperwork. Paperwork that basically piled around your ankles as you waded through all the necessary documents to confirm your new life away from where you'd always known as home, New Zealand.

Not only was the stress of the move on your shoulders, but the stress of your new job was too. It almost didn't matter that you had gotten your bachelors degree, because nothing could prepare you for the first day on your dream job.

It was this first day on the job that you had met Calum, being sent to the same waiting room as him while you waited on your supervisor and he waited on his band mates, him being the first to arrive.

You'd recognized him instantly, and heard your boss in your head telling you not to get starstruck in front of the clients. Seeing it as your first major test, you let your shoulders relax, sitting down on one of the couches opposite him and setting your bag down by your feet.

"Morning." You smiled politely, looking over to him as you noticed him glance up at you from his phone.

He stalled for a second as he looked at you, just long enough for you to notice before he spoke.

"Morning." He replied, a small smile on his face as he nods in your direction.

Feeling like you handled the interaction well, you gave yourself a pat on the back mentally, opening twitter to catch up on whatever you'd missed overnight and this morning. As you scroll though, a text notification comes up on your screen, letting you know that your supervisor is running late in a meeting, and will take a little longer than expected.

You let out a soft sigh before you stop scrolling, letting your phone rest on the couch beside you and pulling out your smallest sketchbook while you wait.

"Hey," the man from across the room asks, catching your attention and making you look up from your pencil case, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but is that your dog on your phone case?"

You hadn't prepared yourself to actually converse with someone yet this morning, but you could feel your face light up as you flip your phone over beside you, showing off the picture of your most favorite dog in the universe.

"It is, yeah. Her name is Ayla. Normally I have flowers in my case but I had to take them out when I was coming over here and the first idea I had to replace it with was my favorite girl." You laugh lightly, handing your phone over to him so he could see the sweet neo mastiff on the back of it.

His face breaks out in a grin as he looks at the Polaroid in the back of your clear phone case, and you do your best to ignore the flutter in your heart at the sight in front of you, his bright grin helping clear the clouds that had been covering your week.

"She's adorable. My boy Duke is probably about the size of her head." He laughs, handing you your phone back, "If you don't mind me asking, where is your accent from?"

You're surprised with his question, mostly because you didn't expect to be having a conversation with him, but also because you were sure your accent wasn't that pronounced.

"It's from New Zealand. Born and raised." You smile proudly, and this time, it's his face that lights up.

"Can't believe we're practically neighbours, though I thought you sounded familiar." He admits, leaning back in his seat while you smile with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, they do always say aussies and kiwis can find each other anywhere."

He nods in agreement, and from there, it doesn't take you both long to start talking about your home towns, sharing your experiences about childhood snacks under slightly different names, the shows you'd both end up getting months after they had already screened in the US, and of course the numerous sports rivalries between your countries.

The ease in which he made you laugh felt different than your normal interaction with strangers, and as you shook your head, telling him about the extreme culture shock you felt walking into a supermarket to get your first load of food after moving, he could feel a wave of calm and familiarity coming from you that made him feel nearly instantly comfortable in your presence.

The conversation flowed easily, and as you saw your supervisor approaching while in the middle of talking about how long of a flight it is between Austrliasia and America, you felt kinda disappointed you'd be leaving your new buddy.

Once your supervisor collected you, you said your goodbyes to Calum, walking off towards the office space you could now call your own.

As you walked off with your supervisor, Calum's eyes followed you, taking a moment to catch a breath he didn't realize he'd lost.

You'd been talking for easily less than thirty minutes, but there was something about you that made Calum wish you would walk back around the corner again to tell him more about your life.

He kicked himself for not getting your number, only knowing your first name and that you're a graphic designer, but nothing that would help him contact you again.

The only thing that snapped him out of his thoughts was Ashton walking into the room, crashing down onto the couch beside him.

Little did he know, but you were feeling exactly the same as you sat down in your small office space, cursing yourself for not having the guts to ask him for his number, not wanting to seem like you wanted something from him.

There was a part of you that wanted to run back out to the waiting room, the hopeful side of you thinking there was a chance he'd still be there.

Something about leaving him back in that room didn't sit right with you, and before you could talk yourself out of it, you stood up from your desk, walking back through the hallways to the waiting room.

As you reached the entrance, someone else did too, and you bumped into someone solid that sent you wobbling back a few steps, the person reaching out to steady you.

Looking up from where you had been watching your own determined steps, your eyes widen as Calum stands in front of you, hands on your upper arms to steady you, shock crossing his face before a string of apologies fall from each of your mouths.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry-"

"I'm so sorry are you okay-"

Cutting each other off, you laugh lightly nodding at his question after a second.

"I'm fine, really. I was actually coming back here to see you so I'd say this worked out." You laugh, scratching the back of your neck nervously as he lets his hands drop to his sides.

"Really?" He asks, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, I uh," you shrug slightly, "I would really like to hear more of your stories. Honestly, you're really interesting to me, and you haven't shown me your dog even though I showed you mine so I think you owe me." You joke, and feel your heart back flip as he bursts with laugher.

A wide grin covers his face as he nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it before handing it to you.

"You have a good point, and I'm glad you find me even half as interesting as I find you." He comments, looking down at your phone that you'd swapped him but still managing to make you blush as he typed his number in.

Taking a quick selfie to set as a contact icon, you save your number under "waiting room kiwi" before handing him his phone back.

The connection you felt that day did anything but sizzle out, evident by what happened after your phone first buzzed with a text from him later on that night.

With two years passing since you met, you and Calum had experience with distance from each other, being in a relationship since your chaotic first date that lasted a lot longer than anticipated, after a lost wallet sent you on a wild goose chase, knowing from that day on that you were both very much meant to be in each others lives.

Whenever you could, you would make the journeys necessary to be with each other. It was hard sometimes, fighting off the thoughts that the distance would affect your relationship negatively, but you did your best to remind yourself, and to remind Calum, that even when things were hard, you would always have a home in the other's arms when you could finally hold each other again.

With you basically living with each other while Calum was home recording Calm, it felt like you'd actually had a moment to breathe and just exist around, and with one another.

But then the pandemic hit, and everything shifted from slow motion into fast forward. With only two days to decide if you would be staying in California or going back to your families, you spent more than half of those 48 hours with tears in your eyes as you did your best to help each other pack what you could of your lives into suitcases, not knowing when you could come back.

It was the hardest decision you had ever made together, the decision to be away from each other for God knows how long.

Calum gripped your hand with a tight grasp nearly the entire 23 hour flight from California to Auckland, almost like he was trying to commit the feeling of your hand in his to his deepest, most permanent memories.

With a last "I love you" between tear flavoured kisses, your heart ached as you watched Calum's flight leaving you in Auckland while he traveled on to Sydney, and even the arms of your parents and siblings couldn't stop the aching in your heart you as you felt the distance between you and the man you love grow every second.

You sat between your older brother and sister on the way home, not far out of the city you'd only been back to a few times since moving to the States.

Calum spent a large percentage of time on his flight to Sydney with his eyes closed or cast down to his phone, flipping through pictures of your lives together before things became so uncertain and unpredictable. He knew it would make him feel worse in the long run, but with no end in sight to whatever you could even call his current situation, all he cared about was the fact he just had to say goodbye to the woman he loves.

Upon landing and seeing his big sister waiting for him from her own flight home a day earlier, Calum basically crumbled into her arms, searching for any ounce of comfort he could before they made their way back to their home.

You and Calum loved your families, and wanted to protect them and be there for them, no matter how much pain you caused yourselves.

Being at your childhood home for only hours before lock down took effect felt like the most absolutely wild fever dream your mind could come up with, but as you gathered around the TV every 1pm, the reality of it all started to sink in.

Though the first few days of being separated, you and Calum had a hard time finding space between family bonding sessions to phone each other in any capacity. You would spend hours together on facetime in the middle of the night instead, you watching him noodling with songs from the new album just around the corner, or him watching you reorganize a room you hadn't had the chance to since your teens before one of you would inevitably pass out.

With time blurring together the days quicker and quicker, the only thing that reminded you what day it was, was how many days since or how many days til it was Great British Bake Off night.

One night, the feelings of the world hit you harder than the others.

The shine of being home had quickly worn off, and sleeping became harder and harder without your boyfriend beside you like you had been used to the last few months.

With your exhaustion and situation hitting you all at once, you could barely breathe as tears ran down your face as you sat at the end of your childhood bed on the phone to Calum, doing your best to hide your current state from him as you covered the speaker with your hand.

"-and I just can't get zoom to work at all. I 'ave no idea how kids are meant to be using this for school when I can't even get it goin' to call my mate a dickhead." Calum complains, his example making you laugh, which is soon followed by an all too telling hiccup.

Hearing that small sound barely picked up by your phone made Calum freeze, tense energy immediately flowing through him.

"It's cause your WiFi is shit, babe." You laugh, but are confused with the silence you're met with on the other end.

"Babe?" You question.

Calum lets out a sigh, your quietness over the last ten minutes of your call making sense to him as things started to click.

You would only ever hiccup on two occasions, one, when you were close to blackout drunk, and two, when you had been crying.

"Darlin', you don't wanna be hearing me complain about technical issues, do you?" He asks, his heart aching as your following silence told him all he needed to know.

"I'm just happy to hear your voice, actually." You say in a soft voice, a fresh wave of tears falling down your cheeks.

Calum had to blink away his own tears at your words, inhaling as deep a breath as he could.

"This is fucking horrible." He comments, and you scoff lightly, nodding even though he can't see.

"You've got that right." You agree as you look down to the rug under you, faded from years in the sun that was nowhere to be seen as autumn's clouds quickly turned into winter rain. "I don't think I've ever missed someone so much in my life."

"Next time we're in a pandemic, we're going to Michael's." Calum adds, trying and succeeding in making you smile.

"On the way out I'll grab Moose and South, then we'll just have to steal Petunia to get the A team together." You laugh.

Calum takes a moment to drink in the sound of your laughter, knowing it had been few and far between these days, yet it still sounded like music to his ears just like the first time he'd heard it.

As your shared laughter dies down, you can hear Calum take a deep breath before he talks again.

"I didn't know I could be homesick for a person."

And with that, your heart breaks even more than it already has been.

You stay on the phone to him for a while longer before your mum calls you for dinner, leaving him with a promise of a text later on in the night.

You join your family after cleaning up your face, but take it you didn't do the best job as your brother and sister offer to do the dishes while you go back up to your room, telling you you'd looked too tired for it tonight, and hell, they weren't wrong.

Crashing down onto your bed, an idea flashed through your head as you stared at the ceiling above you.

While you'd never been one to really verbalize your feelings and emotions, you were the kind of person who knew how to get their emotions down onto paper, or in this case, into the text box to your boyfriend's number.

Hey sweetheart. Honestly, I swear sometimes you know me better than I know myself. You were right, as normal, things have been harder than I've been letting on. But because I know you and how that head of yours works, I didn't want to fill your mind with worry when so much is going on around us already. There's a large part of me that wishes we weren't as self sacrificing as we are, even though it's obvious to anyone that we're always the ones choosing the ones we love over ourselves. Things are way too scary for me to think about for too long and I hope you're doing better at distracting yourself from thinking about it than I am right now. I'm not as good with words as you are, love, but I feel like if this time apart shows me anything, it's that you're the best thing I've ever had the honour to hold, and god I'm dying to hold you again and never let you go. I could say I miss you and I love you in a million different metaphors and references, but sometimes simplicity is best, and I miss you, and I love you, so so fucking much. I'm more homesick now than I have ever been in my life. Not for LA, not for here, not for anywhere in the world, apart from the space beside you. You have my heart darlin, and you are my home. Good luck with your game of monopoly against Mali, though I gotta be honest I'm backing her on this one. Goodnight, I love you, and I'll see you (onscreen) tomorrow, honeybee.

Upon hitting send and rolling over as you close your eyes in hope for some resemblance of a full night's sleep, you couldn't have even imagined the pounding Calum felt in his chest after reading your message three times over before finally looking away.

Walking into her brother's room, a sad and understanding smile appears on Mali's face as Calum's attention pans to her.

"Rain check on the game?" She asks.

"Yeah, thanks." Calum clears his throat.

Questioning her movements for a moment, Mali moves forward into the room, sitting down beside Calum and wrapping her arm around his shoulders. It wasn't hard for her to see how much this was affecting him, both of them being as close as they are, and Mali wished she could fly you over herself to ease the heartache you were both going through right now.

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me next time I can see her again." He says, a finality and certainty to his words.

He was entirely serious, too. After this was over, Calum never wanted to let you go again, not like this. He was well aware of all the things he'd been lucky enough to do in his life, but you by far were the person who convinced him just how lucky he is.

You had his heart, and he had yours.

Mali just smiled as she comforted her little brother, knowing this was going to come from the first day you spent in the Hood family home when you joined them for Christmas two years prior. The ease at which you fit into his family was like you were meant to be there all along, and the looks shared between Mali and Joy during that period of time showed they were both very aware of that.

After promising to shift their game forward a Day, Calum is left on his own again.

Laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he doesn't quite know how to reply to the text message still sitting open on his phone.

He couldn't hug you through text, and knew no other way to comfort you like he wanted to, apart from the one thing that always made your heart beat at a different pace, apart from him, which was something he was capable of: music.

Picking up his acoustic guitar from the otherside of the room, Calum sits down behind his desk, phone propped up against his computer screen as he opens the camera.

Looking up to the ceiling, he takes a deep breath, collecting himself before he starts.

Gaze falling down to his hands again, he starts to slowly pick out the chords to the first song that came to his mind, the perfect song for you.

Upon playing out the final chords, Calum can feel the tears rolling down his face falling onto his shirt, wiping them away with the back of his hand that feels nothing like the soft touch of your fingers before throwing on a hoodie and walking downstairs to sit with his family, deciding against the solitude he knew would swallow him completely if he didn't do something about it.

Somewhere deep inside, something's got a hold on you.

And it's pushing me aside, see it stretch on forever.

I know I'm right, for the first time in my life.

That's why I tell you,

you'd better be home soon.

The crisp air of a morning soaked in an approaching winter wakes you earlier in the day than you would have hoped.

Fairy lights strung around your room still shined from last night, hung by your brother upon being bribed to help you earlier in the week, you not being bothered to turn them off before falling asleep.

You couldn't say you slept well, but you were grateful for anything at this point.

Rolling over, you pick your phone up from your bedside table, scrolling through a few notifications before landing on the text messages sent to you from your friends during the night, the good morning texts sent to you at two am reminding you of the time difference you were struggling with.

Your heart leaps as you see a message from Calum, remembering your own message from last night and the word vomit it contained.

You tilt your head in surprise as you sit up in bed, seeing a simple text saying "I love you too" sitting under your text to him, a video sitting under the message causing your interest to be pique.

Hitting play on the short video, your heart drops to your stomach and tears well in your eyes, the tune instantly recognisable.

After all, you had both been hearing it all your lives.

Tears flood down your face as you play the video over and over again, shaking your head as you wipe away your tears on your hoodie.

"Little shit." You laugh through your tears, knowing he would know exactly the effect the video would have on you.

Hand covering your mouth to soften the sound of your sobs, you lay back down again, curled into a ball in the middle of your bed as you feel the weight of thousands of miles press down on your chest.

taglist: @spicycal @softbabiestan @irwinkitten @mrandleer @smalla-than-a-bugg @candidcal @lukeskisses @wallflowercal @brooklynsninenine @whereveryouares

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer blurb #5sos #5sos fanfic

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impassiveesper · 4 years ago

Note

What was your first impression of the roleplay community on Tumblr? And what’s your impression of it now?

Mun’s Asks: RP Edition

1.) What was your first impression of the roleplay community on Tumblr? And what’s your impression of it now?

[OOF STRAP IN INTREPID]

I’ve been on this hellsite since the beginning but I really only started RPing here after a few years. Probably in 2012 or 2013? I can’t remember exactly when but I remember being very intimidated by the idea of RP on this platform in particular. There is a bit of a steep learning curve in terms of etiquette here that is even steeper when you factor in the near requirement for tumblr-literacy. Like you basically need xkit to RP and you need to understand what kinds of asks get eaten and when/how cuts work and what behaviors do and don’t cause notifications and how ask posts work and how the block/blacklist features do and dont work and what tags tumblr will and wont index etc etc. When you’re a tumblr old head it’s easy to forget newcomers don’t immediately know things like that. It’s part of the reason why I tend to be very basic in my approach compared to what is popular at the moment. I was one of those fabled newcomers at one point.

I don’t really think that tumblr RPC is any better or worse now than it was back then, just different. A lot of what’s popular now was a thing back then, but now it’s more commonplace in a much smaller population of RPers. I wouldn’t say that the RPC has many new problems as much as I would say the old problems have intensified.

When I started out I was in a fandom that was very cliquey and made me feel like shit a lot and those spaces probably still exist on tumblr but the difference is I know what my boundaries are and what behaviors I will and wont tolerate on my dash. Overall the RPC is much better at talking about things like that than it used to be imo. That same fandom I just shit on was also a lot of fun and taught me that it was okay to not take RP too seriously and not be too worried about if it looks pretty enough or was fancy enough. I’m really grateful for people who would RP with me back then even though I unknowingly broke a lot of tumblr RPC’s unwritten rules.

That’s why it’s very important to me as a seasoned RPer to be as approachable a blog as I can possibly be. In this the lords year of 2020 I still feel myself being set in my ways and avoiding trends that are ultimately harmless, but there is an extent to which I have to participate in order to be courteous to others so I do my best to be open minded about Neo RPC Trends. I end up being of two minds just about everything that’s popular right now.

Take for example reblog karma / I AM NOT A MEME SOURCE type rules. I think that’s shits dumb, you guys can reblog anything you want from me, in fact reblogging it from me heightens the chances of me sending you one whether you sent me one or not. I’m not gonna get mad at you for using the website as it is intended by the devs to be used, but also if somebody else’s rules say it bugs them to have memes rbed from them, then I think their feelings are more important than my opinion on the matter. People are more important to me than policies in cases like these, so of course I’ll reblog the meme from the source instead of you or w/e.

But at the same time, that idea about feelings also includes the feelings of people who are new to RP and maybe don’t even know the etiquette well enough to know they’re messing up. There’s a lot to get mad about in the current state of tumblr RP but even when I agree that I want this particular tedium done, I don’t really agree with the idea that I should make it a rule that forces other people to stay away from me. Yes I dont want to be ponging an ask post back and forth. Yes I want our posts cut. But also, I wont get mad if you rb an ask instead of putting it in a new post. I’ll just put in a new post myself. I wont get mad if you dont cut a post, I’ll just cut it myself. It’s not hard to do.

Take also graphics, banners, and all manner of fancy formatting. RPC has really really leaned into that a lot more than back in 2013. On the one hand, I think that’s great. People are so creative. Their stuff looks so pretty, and I really like the work people put in. I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily, but on the other hand it does heighten that already steep barrier for entry imo, especially in circles that require it and judge based upon it. For me it’s more important to avoid looking like that’s an expectation of mine. Like, I can do that stuff. I do sometimes, actually. I make icons in batches of hundreds, I take commissions for RP graphics, don’t tell anybody. I’m a freelance illustrator and I know my way around the adobe creative suite-- I CAN make these things and I do for other people, but I can’t be called to do it for myself in most cases. When I see a blog with very nice graphics I immediately assume they don’t care to interact with me. In fact I still tend to unfairly think this even when they’ve shown me otherwise. If we don’t have a long term rapport and you’re a blog with nice graphics and I reply to your posts, what you’re seeing is a neurotic prey animal that is afraid of you signaling alarm. For whatever reason I tend to interpret very fancy looking blogs as confident and happy in their own existing bubbles with no particular interest in newcomers. I know that’s not always a fair assumption to make--it’s a problem with me that I need to work on--but also I know other people deal with similar feelings. That’s why I don’t feel particularly called to make much beyond the most basic of graphics most of the time and I’m highly avoidant of anybody who seems like graphics are a requirement for interactions with them. Not everybody has photoshop. Not everybody is skilled at that sort of thing. I don’t want people to think that I will judge their style based on what my own style looks like, so I don’t invest much in it. Again, there’s nothing wrong with graphics, but it’s more important to me than anything else that I am approachable and I make other people on the dash as comfortable as I can. I’m glad that it seems like a requirement for cohesive graphics has waned over the last few years.

But, yea. I’d say this duality--the “this is cool but also I have reasons I feel I shouldn’t participate”--is how I feel about pretty much everything that’s big right now. And like don’t even get me started on the anxiety RPC has around things like soft blocking and mutuals and multiples and “quality”. These things in particular aren’t that new, but a lot of Neo RPC etiquette and trends surrounding those types of anxieties represent a whole quagmire that I try to avoid as much as I can, often to a fault, and lately I’ve realized that in my blanket avoidance I am actually missing out on some things I really should consider doing. My icons could do with some light color retouching. I do want to get my tags together eventually. Permanent starter calls, interests checkers, banners to make asks more easily rebloggable-- these things are functional and can be fun and make RP easier and help people feel emboldened to approach. Like, there are a lot of newish things that are actually cool and I should maybe consider trying them out, but being an oldster has really made me slow to adapt.

So yeah, idk if that was clear at all lol. Take these many, many unnecessary words to say that again, I don’t necessarily think that the current RPC is better or worse in an objective sense, but I do think a lot of the anxieties and trends that were starting in the old RPC have really caught fire now in a way that makes them hard to abstain from even if you want to. Since the RPC is so much smaller now than it was in 2013, you really do have to play ball on these things more than you used to have to in order to find partners. There is a lot of etiquette and anxiety that goes unspoken in the RPC and so I often avoid fairly harmless RPC trends as a means of mitigating that anxiety and clarifying the unspoken as much as I can. Tumblr already has a barrier for entry by being a broken website that hates its rp users, I don’t need to pile on any extra factors to make that barrier to entry look any taller.

#[ooc]#[Munday]#posts an opinion and waits for the hard blocks to roll in #not that I said anything more controversial than ''I'm down for whatever''#but u kno #long post #pawnshopsouls #[Asks]

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