#also mitski please I’m begging you

[hyacinths-in-a-storm]

I’m sorry but in modern AU Azula is a Mitski fan and you cannot change my mind on that

[0hmyg0th]

okay listen y’all , so originally I was thinking about turning that picture into a whole sumt fic but I was having trouble on what would be the context behind it. so therefore this is only gonna be a headcannon of ellie, for the ppl who wanted Abby x reader imma make a version of that ( the wording is gonna be the same and everything just the name is gonna be changed)

Disclaimer!!!: the way margot robbie is positioning is gonna be the same way reader is gonna be but the only difference is that the reader is gonna be doing it standing up sooo 😛 bye. now read <;3

★: taglist

@paqerings @vvynia and also ( @deadbolted , @mitski-lovesems, ) for commenting on the post i had the picture on, here's the headcannon 😝

“get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness”. gosh if looks can kill Ellie would be deceased by now. your expressions looked cold and distant, it didn’t have that same softness and love it had to it. your eyes were sharp, your nostrils flared, your jaw tensed up; your teeth practically cracking under the hot anger that boiled in your chest. oh yeah, it was safe to say that ellie is in the dog house BIG TIME.

Ellie's frowned a bit, in confusion. “what ?” Ellie dryly chuckled. you shrugged nonchalantly, with each step you took with your red high pumps piercing through the outdated hotel carpet. “you heard me. since you are so desperate for my forgiveness you will get on your knees and beg for it” You stood eye to eye with the brunette girl, her jaw slacked, her watercolor eyes eyes gave off that doe-eye look 

Ellie looked at your feet and then glanced back up to you. 

And then before you can even utter a word. She drops to the floor instantly, making a soft thud. Ellie’s throat bobbed up and down with her hands touching your feet, snaking around your ankles. you moved against her touch as she pulled you closer to her. “please” her voice cracked, “forgive me” It was almost comical how pathetic she was. a grown woman on her knees for another grown woman. you didn't think she was gonna do it. However, you couldn’t help to feel pleased at the sight of Ellie groveling at your feet. 

there was this faint thought in the back of your head of how much you liked this and of how much this was sightly turning you on. you wanted to be mad and give her the silent treatment but fuck you were relishing in it.

the corner of your mouth turned upwards, “for what” you hiss. your tone fills with mockery. Ellie gulped while taking a few blinks, “for calling you a slut” Ellie whispered. 

you scoffed, that was weak and pathetic. “you disgust me, truly. You pathetic, I’m the best you will ever have” The quickness of your reply had her shocked. She nodded thoughtfully- almost like she was planning something. 

“teach me a lesson then. you’re mad at me, right? Take that anger out on me. make me your plaything baby” 

your eyebrows lifted in surprise, you never heard this type of tone from her. The words that spilled out were new and different and it made your pussy twitch. the ache between your legs came to the surface. You weren't just mad anymore but aroused. 

“oh yeah ?, what makes you think I’ll forgive you after I take what I want” you arrogantly asked. ellie closed her eyes while her hand ran up your calves but Ellie didn't think this was seducing you, she merely wanted to feel you, your ankles or calves; anything that would required touching you. you shake off her touch, lifting your leg, and place your pump onto her thigh; putting more pressure on the heel part than anything. Ellie's lip quivered, being into this more than you.

"I don't know but... punish me, whatever you want. use me, sit on my face. anything that would make you forgive me." Ellie pleaded. Ellie's lips parted while she gripped your calf she lowered her head, the beginning of several wet, hot kisses that left its mark on your leg. The swell of dominance grew in the pit of your stomach, and the jean skirt you wore began to ride up. Showing the red velvety material of your panties, a wet spot that stained in the middle. Ellie paused. immediately catching the red and that stained. 

"you want it bad baby. I know it. Just let me" Ellie whispered. She wasn't below knee level anymore and slowly but surely she was finally at your hip. nonetheless, that heel was still on her thigh, Ellie made sure of that. She wanted this, the pain and the pleasure you were getting out of this. Now your skirt is a belt at this point, your covered pussy on display. 

that dominance began to fade, "What changed el? hm? Why are you letting me do this" Your voice was soft, even though you still had some of the heated anger that was slowly beginning to be engulf by another type of emotion. Ellie, let out a disproval grunt, "Oh c'mon baby, don't go soft on me now" The slow touch of Ellie's fingertips put you in this state of euphoria. That deep, raspy voice made your clit throb. The touch of Ellie's made you wanna come immediately. oh fuck, you were losing it. 

"look at me" 

Ellie obeyed, she did it promptly like how an owner would tell a dog to sit for a treat. 

"you want it ?" you asked. you having her hang off a thread for you. 

"oh god yes, please. let me make you come" Ellie's rough slender hands gripped your waist, and her calloused hand made its way up to your shirt. she left small and quick kisses on your soft belly.

'then get on the be-

AND THIS GIRL WAS GONE. 

that's it, thats the post. ( but tell me how yall like it and if theres any typos!!) also a big thank you!!! the first post i made got over 300 posts like 😧 and as well thank you for reblogging!! 💋

[orchidsangel]

I BET ON LOSING (CHILI) DOGS [JASON TODD]

notes/cw - fluff, suggestive, wrote this bc jason canonically likes chili dogs, also mitski mother i am so sorry this is not at all what you had in mind when you wrote 'i bet on losing dogs', (pacing might be shit idk sorry guys, working on it i swear)

“I’m not eating it.” You say, as your boyfriend reaches over the console, and hands you the paper bag containing your lunch before sliding into the driver's seat of the car and closing the door behind him. 

“Could you just not be stubborn for a second? Like seriously, it’s a chili dog.” 

He takes the bag out of your hand, and removes its contents, placing them carefully on the dashboard and discarding the bag.

The inside of the vehicle now smells like fast food, and you grab a couple of fries, stuffing them into your mouth before continuing on with your justification.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m setting a boundary!” You exclaim, reaching for more and dipping them in your milkshake. “And besides, I plan on getting full off of these fries.” you say, holding up another couple waving them around before eating them.

You reach for another handful when he grabs the container and moves them over to his side of the car, “can’t get full if there's nothing to eat.”

“Jason…if you don’t-” 

You make a move to grab them, but he just places them further on his side of the dash, “A chili dog babe. A chili dog.” 

“I hate them.” You huff out in frustration, giving up on the fries and leaning back on the headrest, letting out a long groan.

“You’ve never had one.”

“No, but I hate chili and hot dogs so if one plus one equals two…” You grumble, “then it would make absolutely zero sense for me to even try it.”

“Would you just- one bite. Please?” He’s begging at this point, and the look on his face shows just how badly he wants it. “I bet you’ll love it.”

And the little lilt in his voice when he says that breaks down any “boundary” you might’ve had. 

Here’s your big bad crime lord boyfriend practically on his knees over this, pleading for you to just take one bite, and you’re supposed to say no?

“Fine.” 

A grin spreads on his face and he hands you one of the chili dogs he’s holding before grabbing a few napkins and distributing them between the two of you. 

“And if I don’t?” you say, examining the mess of meat, chili, and cheese.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t love it.”

“Then I’ll make it up to you.” He says before taking a bite.

“Make it up how?” 

“If I tell you, you’re gonna lie and say you don’t like it.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh?”

“Would you just eat it already?” 

You pick up the chili dog and bring it to your mouth.

“Careful, it’s pretty big.” Jason says from beside you.

“Don’t worry, I’ve had a lot of experience putting big things in my mouth.” You say before biting down.

“Subtle.”

It’s an explosive mix of savory meat and spices, with hints of tangy sweetness. Not at all what you expected and not nearly as bad as you thought. The cheese and the onions on top compliment the flavors and when you’re done chewing you take another bite. 

“Good huh?”

You turn your head towards Jason who’s looking at you with smugness you’ve only ever seen him give Roy on your bi-weekly game nights.

You were enjoying the chili dog, and he knew it. 

Still, you couldn’t let him have that kind of satisfaction. “No, not really.”

“Uh huh.” He says reaching over the console and bringing his thumb to the corner of your mouth, wiping away some sauce that you must’ve missed when you were licking your lips.

You take another bite, and he gives you a look. “What? It’s not like I’m gonna waste it.” You scoff.

“Right.” He says before returning to his own.

And for a few minutes the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, chomping away at your respective meals and occasionally stealing fries from the other.

When you’re done, he takes the empty cardboard container and crumpled napkins from your lap, tossing them into the bag previously thrown to the backseat. 

“So, since I lost the bet…”

You hum happily at his admittance of defeat. 

“...I guess I have to make it up to you now.” he says, leaning over the center of the car.

“Glad you know.”

He closes the space between you and nuzzles his face into your neck. Feeling a warm tingle in your body, you close your eyes and crane your head upwards, allowing him more space as the nuzzling turns into soft open-mouthed kisses.

He nibbles the tender skin as he moves up and towards your ear, “Do you want me to run inside and grab another dog for you?” He whispers between bites, and the question catches you off guard.

“What, why?” You say, confusion lacing your words. 

He draws back a little, a familiar heat radiating off of him, “For later tonight, when I’m done making it up to you.”

[lust4lore]

i’m back with more joe rantz songs. ignore the cringe and feel out the concept please im begging:

pink in the night by mitski

so it goes… by taylor swift

tear in my heart by top

me and my husband by mitski

work song by hozier

it’s nice to have a friend by taylor swift

it’s nice to have a friend ! 💗

A/N: please ignore the fact reader is technically supposed to be in a dorm 😍 also, i love songfics! hope this was something you were looking for. NOT PROOFREAD 🗣️🗣️🗣️

joe rantz who offers— who insists on walking you home after dinner. ‘it’s dangerous out here this time of night, just… let me take you, please, the walk’s not far’ for a moment, you’re conflicted. you don’t want to impose, you tell him, put him out of his way; but then, he looks down at you with that kind smile and those soft eyes, and, well, you’d be a fool to turn him down.

joe rantz who always has an eye on you, observing the way your eyes light up when you speak about something you love, engraining into his mind the warmth of your smile or the sweetness of your laughter. his gaze is fixed on you like he can’t look away, and so it’s inevitable that he notices the goosebumps that decorate your skin as the temperature catches up with you, the ones that would be invisible to anyone else. joe rantz who slips his jacket over your shoulders when he does.

joe rantz who enjoys his crewmates but enjoys you more, sneaking away from the noise of the post-win celebration to sit up on the roof with you. the two of you watch as the sun sinks into the horizon, the sky a soft pink above your heads. he asks you about yourself— about where you want to go, who you want to be, what you want to do— and you feel like it’s the first time anyone’s taken you seriously. you like him, you decide, and it’s apparent in the way your breath catches when his hand brushes yours.

joe rantz who comes to the conclusion that there couldn’t be a happier man on earth, carrying you over the threshold of the home you now share as church bells ring throughout seattle. you’re wearing a wedding dress and a bright smile, and he’s convinced he’s never seen anything more beautiful.

[capndesdesdestiny]

another short midday write I was thinkin ab listening to stay soft by mitski, and also reflecting off of a personal experience I think was pretty wack

fwb!graves and fem!reader that’s sick of the arrangement (no smut tho)

(angst but im allergic to bein sad so it prob not too bad)

At this point, you could barely bring yourself to answer the door when he knocked, your tired limbs forcing you upright, your feet thudding quietly against your hardwood floors. As you make your way down the hallway, you can hear him shuffling around outside, the sound almost mocking you as you let this man into your home for the umpteenth time. Your self respect was hunching over to die, and you told yourself tonight, much like every previous night with him, that you would finally put an end to this. You had grown a backbone, though, it was only natural. This time it was really over.

When you open the door he’s standing there, one hand on the doorframe and the other holding a cigarette, his gaze meeting yours as a smile creeps onto his face. He seems happy to see you. It used to get you so excited to see that expression, it used to move you enough to welcome him in with a hug. But you weren’t feeling so warm anymore. You knew it was nothing but a look. You stare up at him, holding the door open wider for him.

It’s you who speaks first. “…don’t just stand there, get in.”

“Well damn, alright darlin.’” He murmurs softly. He could sense the tension in the air, and though he didn’t know the root of it, he had a growing suspicion.

He chuckles as you step aside, taking off his boots and following you in. He meets you to sit on the couch in your living room, as he was used to. This is when you felt that pang in your chest again. This was the part you hated the most. This was the part where you’d play house, catching up on each other’s days, turning on a movie to cuddle to, laughing over shots of Don Julio. Right before taking it to your room. You hated it. The act was begging for a sense of normalcy, a reassurance that you had some kind of connection to this man outside of the sex. So this time, as you’re turning on the tv, listening to him talk about his day, his men, and his company, you calmly cut him off.

“…Philip.” Your tone is neutral, but your heart is unsteady. As you call his name you’re staring straight at the tv, your arm slightly raised as your thumb fiddles with the remote, aimlessly searching for another one of your favorite movies you two would never finish before pausing it to fuck.

“…yes, sweetheart?” He said lowly, growing a little concerned as he sat up, his elbows on his knees. He had never seen you this way, the look in your eyes exhausted, and distant. It was breaking his heart, he never wanted to see you sad.

“Philip… I’m tired,” your voice cracks and you mentally cuss yourself out, your freehand pinching your thigh. You were trying your very best to suck it up and get this over with, you had bigger problems in life, but this one in particular had a strong hold on you. You didn’t want to let him go, even if holding on to him hurt so bad.

He freezes as he processes what you’ve said. He’s not blind to context- he knows what this is all about. But the suddenness catches him off guard. “What might you mean, sweetheart?” He scoots closer, placing his hand on your knee.

You swat his hand away, turning away from him and putting the remote down. There was a silent pause. A sniffle slips out as you wipe your face with your sleeve, facing the wall as tears sneak down your cheeks. “I’m not in the mood today… could you get out? I’ll text you later, just get out, please…”

His eyes widen as you slap his hand, but his heart drops to his stomach when he hears you crying. He knows, he knows that you weren’t exactly satisfied in this weird friendship you two shared, and that it was a very fragile thing. He knew he was selfish, and that he had been dragging it on for weeks just to keep seeing you. He was fully prepared, when he drove over tonight, to repeat the cycle. But when he hears you sniffle, watches your hands rise to your face to wipe your tears, something in him snaps. He doesn’t want to hurt you anymore.

He turns your shoulders to face him, grabbing your hands to take them away from your eyes, his gaze pausing over the tears making their way down to your chin. “Honey… I know. I know, I know and I’ll.. I’ll give you your space, alright? I’ll leave, I’m sorry.” He stands up, reluctantly leaving you on the couch as he grabs his keys and walks out the front door, shutting it quietly behind him.

You start to sob, your hands can’t keep up with all the tears leaking down your face, and it all frustrates you. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging yourself on your couch as you cry and cry, not knowing what to do with yourself. It tortures you to realize that he knew what this was doing to you, that he knew you were only going along with it all because you genuinely liked him, and thought it was going somewhere.

I can’t write anymore

I wrote this trying to give myself closure by giving reader a happy ending with dude but I think what reader deserves is moving on and finding someone that is willing to commit to her, not forgiving someone that was willing to use her

I need to go to therapy

Ok alt ending: reader goes on to meet hot rich guy at the bar named John Price and they freak and fall in love and get married and have kiddies YAYYYYY everyone clap

well let me try timeskipping to the next morning when reader wakes up, and try to give her happy ending with graves just to see how it feels

.

You wake up on the couch, your legs haphazardly resting on the coffee table, your head rested back into the soft cushions. Your eyes were swollen from crying so hard, and from the moment you regained consciousness you found yourself staring at the ceiling for a while.

When you finally had the slightest bit of energy to get up, you stumble over to the bathroom, taking a quick piss then brushing your teeth. You follow through with the motions, taking a quick shower and walking to your room to change into a baggy shirt and some comfy shorts. It’s only after you return to the front and make yourself some tea in your kitchen that you have the courage to check your phone. As expected, five missed calls from ‘phil.’

You sigh, head in your hands as you slump against the kitchen counter. Eventually you’re going to have to talk to him, and about… everything. But you really, really don’t want to. You don’t feel obligated to explain yourself, you know he knows what he did. Though, you reason with yourself that it might be good for you. So you ring him back, but silently pray he doesn’t answer. Before the first bell of the phone chiming finishes, he answers. Dammit.

“Good morning sweetheart, you feelin okay?” His southern drawl slips through the receiver and you have to remind yourself this is not the time to be blushing.

“I’m fine, sorry you had to see that and all but, um, I was just wondering if you had a second to talk.” You try to keep your tone even, begging yourself to stay professional.

“Can we talk over coffee maybe?” His words are almost teasing now, he’s really testing you.

“No.”

“Great, I’ll be there in five.”

This mf… you wanted to strangle him. You think about how much you hate him as you brew up some coffee, adding two sugars to his cup just how he likes it. A few minutes pass and as promised, you hear the doorbell ring. You sigh, going to answer the door.

“No bullshit today, we need to talk.” You let him in and he lets out that damn chuckle again as he follows you to your dining room, where he sees the coffee set out real neat. He wants to chat meaninglessly some more, but he knows it’s time to address everything.

“…I understand, thanks for the coffee by the way.” He takes a seat, pulling his mug closer to him.

“So… I wanted to talk to you today because I don’t want to see you anymore.” You try to seem firm and serious, your eyes cold as you sip your coffee.

“…I’ll miss you, dear.”

You pause, fighting the urge to cry. You know you’ll miss him too. But you would never say that.

“You know why I’m doing this, Phil, don’t play with me I hate it.” You set your coffee down, looking away from him.

“No… no, please, I’m being serious- I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry, I know what I did, I knew it wasn’t what you wanted and I kept playing dumb because I was happy with how things were. We could talk, laugh, and fuck and it was convenient. But I know it can be more, and it took seein you cry to really understand that. Believe me, just this once, when I say I don’t want you to leave. I… I want to make this work, I want you, I really, really do.”

“I want you to act like it. I don’t want to take you back to be put through the same shit again, I’m ready to commit and if that’s not what you want, then frankly you can get the fuck out.” You stare back at him, not blinking, as you pick up your mug again for another sip of hot coffee.

“I do, honey, I do. I’m gonna prove to you that I do, I swear on my life. Don’t cut me off, I’ll be back at your door every single morning till you trust me.”

As he speaks you search his eyes for any shred of doubt or deceit, but… he seems genuine. However, this time, he’s gonna have to fight for you. You won’t let him embarrass you again.

“Words are easy, Phil, now get out.” Another sip of coffee, a cold look, but this time a little softer. “Don’t text me again unless you’re planning an actual date, I’m not scared to block you.”

end

ok yea that feels a little better I like that

[person4924]

new about me

my name is sam !! thats basically all u need to know but theres (a lot) more under the cut!! i also have a strawpage that has some basic info (idrk how it works if im being honest tho)

last updated: august 5

i’m sapphic of some sort and ace

u can use any pronouns but they is usually the best !! (this is my pronouns page)

i’m neurodivergent of some sort (i don’t even know anymore)

a minor (don’t be weird)

my personality type is INFP-T

my theme will change like weekly prob bc i wanna change it with every new huperfxation i have!!

things i like (the things bolder r what i talk about the most)

harry potter (fuck jkr)

marvel

the marauders

boy meets world

it

osemanverse

paper girls

teen wolf

owl house

shameless

glee

stranger things

friends

andi mack

the last of us (i’ve only watched the show tho, but i know most of what happens in the games)

riordanverse

musicals

poetry

reading

cats

animals

fictional characters

music

movies

tv shows

art

writing

women

sitcoms

brooklyn nine nine

new girl

hamilton

grishaverse

stand up comedians

ocean animals (specifically sharks)

community

moths (and just kinda winged bugs in general)

greek mythology

dawsons creek

bojack horseman

halloween

the sky (like stars, the moon, the sunset, etc)

jelly fish

criminal minds

animals

ted lasso

scooby doo (the older movies from the 2000’s ish specifically but all of it too)

everything sucks!

the sun bearer trials

atypical

octonauts

spencer reid

bo burnham

dead boy detectives

will and grace

90’s movies

my fav movies are tick tick boom, my girl, dead poets society, breakfast club, the outsiders, hamilton, stand by me, cmbyn, lady bird, beautiful boy, luca, nimona, (500) days of summer, empire records, etc. i have a lot but this is just the first few i think of

musicals i like are hamilton, tick tick boom and the greatest showman

my fav taylor albums are folklore, evermore, reputation, 1989, ttpd and speak now but i love all of them really (please please ask me abt them omg)

my current hyper fixation is the marauders (more of a life-long obsession atp) and solangelo

i’m currently reading nothing !! i just cannot

my fav music people (i’m really just giving a short list of many): conan gray, cavetown, current joys, queen, rainbow kitten surprise, the front bottoms, harry styles, noah kahan, taylor swift, phoebe bridgers, the fray, coldplay, olivia rodrigo, billie eilish, boygenius, gracie abrams, sufjan stevens, maya hawke, the smiths, lucy dacus, julien baker, the smiths, sleeping at last, mitski, bo burnham, chappell roan, lorde, the revivalists, hozier, the head and the heart, mumford and sons, the revivalists, adrianne lender

i mostly post about whatever hyperfixation and/or character/person/ship has overtaken my brain, music and analysis things

i appreciate tone tags and i try to use them as much as possible

i’m always looking to talk to more people and i’m always bored (don’t be weird istg)

my fav books are any alice oseman book, the outsiders, the perks of being a wallflower, i fell in love with hope

child of athena (i think, idk how to actually figure it out)

i’m probably a reggie kin?? but it also changes with my varying mental state so i just say i’m marauders soup

biggest pandalily shipper you’ll find

i love love love making character analysis’ or song or movie or tv show or books or ships or whatever

i also write sometimes!! (i suck ass)

and i’m person4924 on ao3 but i can’t figure out how to link it

this is my spotify (my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living. i also have the best music taste you will ever encounter.)

this is my discord

this is my airbuds idk if anyone actually uses it but i thought it’d be fun to share music with mooties

please please please send me asks i have no hobbies and one friend and im always bored please please please (im on my hands and knees begging please please please (@iluvmultipleppl needs it to be known im only on my knees for them /j (they called me a whore and told me to fix it 😔)))

i have a tagging system!! idk how much ill remember to use it but yeah!! (its also new so only my new posts will have them) #sam shut the fuck up -> any original posts that don’t fit in any of the other tags #asks!!! -> asks #crazy? i was crazy once -> just any kinda longer fandom rants that i think are important sam sings :O -> lyric/music rants!!

[realredbanana]

Idk if anyone’s already written about how much I’m Your Man by Mitski fits RanWan (Mo Ran’s pov), but it hasn’t left my brain in a while so.

(Purple bold = lyric quote, blue italics = book quote)

Lyrics/Explanations:

You’re an angel,

I’m a dog.

Or you’re a dog,

And I’m your man.

　‘You’re an angel, I’m a dog’, reads to me as almost like saying ‘you’re kind/gentle, I’m vicious/violent’, relating the bad things that can be related to dogs to themself, meanwhile ‘or you’re a dog, and I’m your man’ reads to me as them calling the other senselessly loyal, to the point that the person sees them as, almost, foolish. The first bit really reminds me of the way that Mo Ran sometimes compares himself to an aggressive stray dog who almost can’t help but bite anything that gets too close, and the second bit reminds me of when Mo Ran said “Chu Wanning, you truly are a fool. You’re the greatest person in the world, and me? My hands are stained with blood, even death wasn’t merciful”. Mo Ran thinks himself to be a terrible person who’s undeserving of love, yet Chu Wanning loves him anyway.

You believe me like a god,

I destroy you like I am.

　‘You believe me like a god’, Chu Wanning consistently loved and believed in the goodness within Mo Ran almost ‘like a god’ would: unconditionally. ‘I destroy you like I am’, first of all, makes me assume ‘like I am’ means ‘like I am a god’, which reminds me of the fact that Mo Ran gave himself the title of ‘Taxian-jun’, with ‘Taxian’ meaning ‘trampling on immortals’ (iirc) Also, as Taxian-jun he ‘destroys’ (read: humiliates, tortures and, eventually, kills) Chu Fei in his misguided desire to humiliate him to “avenge Shi Mei’s death”. He, like “a god”, destroyed the one who loved and believed in him ‘like a god’.

I’m sorry I’m the one you love,

No one will ever love me like you again.

　As I mentioned earlier, Mo Ran seems to see himself as fundamentally unlovable, and at times thinks Chu Wanning a fool for loving him, so while I don’t necessarily relate this to any specific scene or another, I do think it fits Mo Ran’s mental state. Although, I could possibly see it fitting Mo Ran as the flower’s starting to really take hold, almost preemptively apologising for what he knows will come?

So, when you leave me, I should die.

I deserve it, don’t I?

　Honestly, this kind of reminds me of that scene during the time that Chu Wanning is dead, when Mo Ran is sick and he’s hallucinating that Chu Wanning is there to bring light for him, and he basically begs Chu Wanning not to abandon him, and then eventually says “Shizun, if someday you don’t want me anymore, please just kill me; don’t throw me away. It hurts too much to be discarded again and again. I’d rather die…” (that scene destroyed me). Alternatively, Taxian-jun killing himself because he couldn’t deal with Chu Fei’s death.

I can feel it getting near,

Like flashlights comin’ down the way.

One day, you’ll figure me out,

I’ll meet judgement by the hounds.

　‘One day, you’ll figure me out’, makes me think of Mo Ran realising that, some day, Chu Wanning will have to know about the almost unspeakably horrific things Mo Ran did to him as Taxian-jun in their past lifetime, and ‘I’ll meet judgement by the hounds’ reminds me of Mo Ran admitting to his crimes at the Tianyin Pavilion.

People always gave me love,

Others were never to blame, after all.

　These lines don’t really fit, given the fact that it genuinely wasn’t Mo Ran’s fault that he ended up as Taxian-jun and hurt so many people as a result of that, however, they could potentially fit with Mo Ran’s guilt (even then I’m iffy about it fitting, because Mo Ran acknowledges that it was at least partially the people around him who caused him to end up the way he did).

You believe me like a god,

I betray you like a man.

　Same kind of thing applies from the previous ‘You believe me like a god, I destroy you like I am’. Maybe combined with some ~ Mo Ran-typical self-hatred issues ~

[cvsmixnaya]

what the aot cast would listen to

pairings: no pairings really

pronouns: none used

cw: swearing as usual cause i’m just like that and not proofread

a/n: i’m a huge music lover if you couldn’t tell😻 here’s my spotify!!! you should go follow it cause i have good taste🤭 also ignore how i took a month to write this🫡

EREN

he definitely listens to chase atlantic, arctic monkeys, the weeknd and post malone. he also listens to emo kinda shit cause it’s eren guys. come on. his spotify is surprisingly aesthetic af like no joke. his playlist covers are amazing. his music vibes are more loud and chaotic. all this music is really good if you’re going on late night drives with him or chilling in one’s room. overall his taste is immaculate except the emo kind of music.

ARMIN

he’s a taylor swift listener. you cannot change my mind. armin honestly is willing to listen to anything and give any kind of genre a try but his favourite is definitely taylor swift. he normally prefers softer, calmer music like TV girl or lana del rey. his playlists are kinda short but pretty. he will make a playlist for you because he loves you so much!!! please i beg you to make one for him. he will be so happy and that will remain his favourite playlist forever. OOO HIS FAVOURITE SONG IS ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE BY TAYLOR.

LEVI

my man’s levi listens to cigarettes after sex. it’s very calm and peaceful which is what i feel like he listens to. he’s not a big fan of loud kind of music cause it genuinely annoys the living fuck out of him. cigarettes after sex is his number one artist and there’s no doubt about that. but he also listens to other peaceful songs like je te laisserai des mots, show me how, cardigan and many kind of songs like that. he’s not one to make playlists but if he did it would be full of songs by CAS cause playing his recommended will be random and he doesn’t like that. this didn’t make sense but i hope y’all know what i mean💀

MIKASA

this is actually really difficult cause i’m not 100% sure what she would listen cause she has a calm kind of aura but also loves going wild. she’s the definition of ✨balance✨ which is why i feel like she would listen to a bit of everything. from the smiths to coldplay to even a completely different culture. but she definitely listens to sidewalks and skeletons cause she’s gothic like y’all come on. and if she’s going through those days, this girl is playing mitski. no questions asked. but honestly the others would as well. overall she’s kinda like armin as they both try to listen to everything but always has a favourite.

HANGE

ok so she has a very chaotic energy kinda thing going on so she would listen to rap in my opinion. as long as she can dance to a song, she’ll listen to that. but life is a fucking stress and she has like a stress reliever playlist which contains calm music to take her mind off things. she’s not one to make playlists. she’ll just listen to her liked songs and move on

[espeartz]

i remember you had a post a while back about will/lion songs for a playlist? this is probs way off base but i sorta always think of come with me by chxrlotte as a them song (even if it's. for another ship).

THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF THE PLAYLIST!!!!! I DID MAKE IT BUT I FORGOT TO SHARE IT HERE

I listened to the song and god you’re super correct, it fits them so well. I added it to the list ^^

Here’s the playlist for anyone interested:

(DISCLAIMER: some of these don’t fit as well as others but it’s my playlist and I do what I want. There’s also one or two swedish songs in there but they fit super well, trust me)

If anyone wants to add any songs just lmk and I’ll do it!!!

Since there’s so many songs I’m gonna make a highlight of the ones I think are the most accurate

All night thinking of you- Tokotoko (this one is just very sweet)

Angel with a shotgun- The cab (I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE)

Cut yr teeth- Kississippi (this one is just Yasu-coded in general I think)

Du följer med mig- Laleh (THIS IS THE MOST ACCURATE ONE IMO ITS SO GOOD I LOVE LALEH. Unfortunately in swedish but it’s very post canon Willion vibes to me)

In the comet- Laleh (this one is in english!! It’s also very accurate for all of Umineko)

En stund på jorden- Laleh (THE SECOND VERSE!!!!!!!!

(Translation below) (please see my vision I am on my knees begging people to see the light)

Bravado- Lorde (Lion coded)

Carry me out- Mitski (this one is also in my beabato playlist lmao)

A world alone- Lorde

I will- Mitski (POST CANON GO BRRR)

Starchild- Ghost Quartet (ALL MY HOMIES LOVE GHOST QUARTET!!!!!! This one specifically is both Sayo, Ange and Lion)

I’m glad you’re evil too- PinocchioP

Chemtrails over the country club- Lana Del Rey (just melancholic enough for ep 7 in general. I feel like you could tie in Clair and Beabato in there somewhere as well)

Stray italian greyhound- Vienna Teng (this one is in all of my playlists and this one is no exception)

Cabo- Ricky Montgomery (ASHES ASHES!! DUST TO DUST!! I THINK IVE FOUND A PLACE FOR US!!!)

Punisher- Phoebe Bridgers (another one That’s in all of my ship playlists)

ICU- Phoebe Bridgers (It’s Will’s turn on the trauma. Is it accurate? Don’t worry about it)

Ok That’s all ty for reading this far 🙏🙏🙏

[reijndeers]

it would be silly if i didn't ask kiwi (or kai if you don't want to do kiwi)

ahh i’m so sorry this took so long 😭😭 finally got a chance to give kiwi his flowers!!

favorite thing about them

the way he speaks in interviews, which sounds so sadistic to say lol. his shyness is just so endearing to me!! also his smile with his teeth omd he’s just the cutest i’ll leave it at that 💗💗

least favorite thing about them

his lack of interactions with literally anyone. kiwi please i am working with crumbs here.

favorite line

not a direct line but him being asked what he eats for lunch and him responding with 100% sincerity ‘doughnuts with jam’ lmaoo

brOTP

rambo and kiwi has a special place in my heart, so probably them (jury’s out on if it’s platonic or romantic).

OTP

the one and only tomi/kiwi. was there any other option? cutest guys ever.

nOTP

this would be so much easier if he spoke to anyone but kiwi/saliba remind me too much of two siblings where one cannot stop talking and the other is dead silent lol so ig them

random headcanon

is not a morning person whatsoever. absolutely loves the sea and loves swimming (terrified of crabs though). gets stressed out by big cities, prefers small towns that he knows well. was doted on so much by grandmothers when he was younger (and still now tbh). honestly i could keep going.

unpopular opinion

put him up front. please. for just one match mikel i’m acc begging you. i’m so convinced (delusion) that he would solve all our striker problems if he had a little bit of confidence and actually started for once. or just shove him in lcm honestly at least he’s played there. am i being just as bad as arteta by putting him in literally any other position than the one he wants? maybe! 

song i associate with them

bags by clairo, i don’t smoke + i bet on losing dogs by mitski (ballad by a homeschooled girl is such a shout btw)

favorite picture of them

has to be between these two

he just looks so happy!! i have never changed a layout so fast in my life lmao

he looks both so confused and so concerned i laughed so hard the first time i saw it 😭😭

[angelasycamore]

@magicwhiskers29 tagged me for this fun lil thing- a song for every letter of my url! fun sideblog activities as you all get to find out more about me hehe :) and thank god this isnt for my main because idk songs with numbers

all the love / kate bush- from my fav kate album obviously. did u guys know i made a miracle mask kate bush jukebox musical mostly from the dreaming one time for fun. anyways

no idea / muna- literally sooo into muna self titled rn

gina’s world / marika hackman- looove me some girlmurder this is haunting and i associate it too much with my grad school audition bc i had this on loop on the flight

eric / mitski- i was a huge mitski girlie in high school like. made it my whole personality. but for some reason avoided this track like hell. well it’s my favorite lush song now

landscapes / gregory and the hawk- One thing about me is im the worlds biggest gath stan if gath has no fans im dead. first album i ever fell in love with and i recently got it on cd for christmas

a case of you / joni mitchell- i am amongst those rejoicing upon joni return to spotify

sex kills / joni mitchell- see above. lol this bangs

you read on / gregory and the hawk- so my favorite gath is selection of demos WHICH IS ALSO NOW ON SPOTIFY so biggest win of my life obviously

collector / daffo- for a short one this is so fun also HITS HARD PERSONALLY

army of me / madison cunningham cover- i love you bork. i love what madison did with the place

marching bands of manhattan / death cab for cutie- id like to thank my theatre prof for introducing me to plans and destroying me emotionally

older / eliza mclamb- huge lynnie angelasycamore theme song. please if u seek reconnecting with ur child self a little listen to this please im begging you also it’s pretty and i love eliza i’m a huge binchtopia listener

rind / the ophelias- everyone stream ophelias ribbon ep NOW

emily i’m sorry / boygenius- why was it so hard to think of another e. anyways gotta have the boys on here

this is too many letters to tag ppl for but anyways this was silly and fun thank you!!!

[moriartyluver]

She’s not just that one lyric from first love/late spring, she’s the whole song

Fl would stan mitski🛐

Okay hear me out, I know Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart has a completely different meaning but I’m crazy so listen

It’s fl when was depressed mourning Liam talking to her younger self, like when she was a teen or even younger🧍🏻‍♀️

This is long so bear with me

“There's nobody better than you. It took me a while 'til I knew but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you?” = younger fl keeping to herself and not letting herself love Liam, she knew it would do her no good

“It just took me a while 'til I knew.” = older fl eventually accepted that she loved him but when he said he was just using her and died, well yk

“Now I lay as I study a blank wall. Would you spare me your voice if I call? 'Cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew. You just grew a little smarter, too.” Fl needing the same ambition  and coldness(?) her younger self had

“So, I don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory. I'm not the girl I ought to be, but maybe when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me. And not how I turned out to be.” Fl is mourning (and married) the same person she swore she hated when she was younger, meanwhile younger fl was thinking she would’ve destroyed the British empire and returned to her home country by the time she’s in her late twenties

“There's some kind of burning inside me, It's kept me from falling apart and I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart but it's kept me from falling apart.” The burning is William, he hurt her before he died but he also cared for her sm during their marriage

BUT LISTEN

THE LAST PART IS YOUNGER FL TALKING TO OLDER FL

“And I don't mean to make your heart blue but could we be what we're meant to be? I'm just about to beg you, please.” Sobbing rn

“And then, when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me. And not the way I used to be.” This time it’s younger fl talking about her 9 year old self when she was mourning and plotting her revenge 

“'Cause there is nobody better than you.”

🎀.

Fl somehow is written by mitski, lana del rey and Marina all at the same time. That’s why she’s so insane.

STOP THE BIT ABOUT HER WANTING TO BE COLD AND AMBITIOUS LIKE HER YOUNGER SELF 😭

i think it’d be so funny if fl met younger fl. like imagine fl and William go back in time and meet their younger versions 😭

Younger fl and William finding out they’re married 💀 all hell would break loose

[cluelessbees]

Remiii thank you for the tag! <333

Okay let’s see what my music taste is—

This shit- is cocaine to me if it comes on shuffle I like- physically can’t stop listening to it. It’s also like a cute song despite the whole dying part- JUST to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die???? AHHH

Recent obsessed of mine. Its very Mike wheeler post season 3 coded imo. I adore the way the sign gets faster as the narrator gets more desperate to keep this person in her life (YOU CANT TELL ME ITS NOT MIKE) but yeah it scratches an itch in my brain-

This is probably one of my favourite songs in the album although it changes a lot��� it has one of my favourite lines like— just ‘vice versa vice versus virtue’ THATS SUCH GOOD WORD PLAY- also it’s a funky vibe

Aha—- okay like this is obvious it’s where my fanfic title came from the song is angst galore but I love it. I love how raw the emotions are. There is no fluff to the words the narrator just explains how he feels and begs to have this one thing he wants and it’s so real and vulnerable and I love it

IM SUCH A SLUT FOR ANY IF CONANS SONGS IM SORRY HE IS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭 BUT ASTRONOMY HURTS JUST- AHHH the bridge is so painful I love to—

Something so ethereal about the ending section. Like I wanna stand up in the car with the roof top open and glide IDK I WANNA YELL IT- it’s a vibe we ignore meaning okay vibes >>

I love the lyrics of this sooooongg + the little guitar riff/chord progression is so fun idk I love it.

I’m in my Will Byers arc 😔 it’s a good song OKAY-

Mike wheeler coded— that’s all (also a banger)

Shout out to Will’s playlist for showing me this song but it’s so goOD the rhythm is so nice idk i love the vibe of it so much

Ofc theres more but — I’m too tired and i don’t wanna bore people with my music taste which is mainly just Mitski, Conan gray and the Smiths😭

No pressure tags <3 @geeky--glasses @moonlightmarvey @ninazeniksloveinterest @yellow-n-blue-hyperfixation @twodoorsnotone @ohfallingdisco + anyone else who wants to!

Spotify tag game

Thankyou for tagging me @violetsinsummer 💜

Taylor swift coz who doesnt n i obviously cant put all of her songs so here are some but just know id like to include almost every song of hers🙈

Been obsessed with it since heard it on ig

Olivia Rodrigos entire sour album...

The 2nd part of this song gives me the chills fr

This song...well lets just say every single time i lsn to it someones always cutting onions🙃

This barely a handful of my playlist tho...dont judge my taste pls🤭

Tagging (no pressure): @malencholicnyx @disproportionatelysculpting @vellibandi @thenoodlegod @hell-lit011019 @tumhalkisisharmana @midnight-rainnnn @clariascoffee @luarahnapele @yedilkahehaye @agentlilicarter @waitingforthesunrise @timetravellingkitty @walkingaftermidnight07 @lazycowboynerd @noahachilles @gelianro25 @it-be-me-ella + anyone (also dont mind me just on a tagging spree)

[diaday333]

Hello! I’m back from my little break, but I bet you didn’t even know teehee. Today’s topic is…. (Drumroll please)… What Mitski song describes you? I mean, who doesn't love Mitski? Her music is honestly iconic. I throughly enjoyed doing the Neighbourhood post, so I decided to another one of my favorite artists. What's your favorite Mitski song? I think mine is either Nobody or Me and my husband. Ok and just like the Neighbourhood post, the album you pick doesn't mean that your pile will have a song in the album and this reading will be spilt into your life, your personality, and you in your truest form, except I'm gonna add something which will be how are you presenting yourself now.

To pick a pile, take a deep breath, relax, and pick an album cover.

Warning ! Warning! Remember, tarot readings are not the end all be all. So if there is something that you don't like or if it doesn't resonate, don't take it! Second, don't take tarot readings as replacement for professional advice, I beg of you. Finally, I'm dyslexic, so if something is... Off, either call it out or ignore it and move on with your life-respectfully.

Also, if you enjoy my readings and you want to, you could donate and support me! I would appreciate it a lot!

My cashapp ||| My Kofi

Pile one

Your life: brand new city

Some lines that stand out

-I think my heart is ready to die

-Honey look at me

-I think the ground is pulling me down

-And teach myself how to die.

Ok I know that that they lyrics do look morbid, but it’s not like that. I’m getting that life had it’s go at you. You’ve definitely have been through a lot, but you don’t let it get you down. You might actually look back at with a sense of dark humor. You may think that life is just passing you by and you don’t think that you’re doing anything meaningful. I’m thinking that there is a person that maybe broke you heart. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner, it could be a friend or a parent/guardian. For some of you, you could’ve just recently lost a loved one.

Your personality: townie

Some lines that stand out

- And I want a love that falls as fast

- I want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground.

- And change, change, change is gonna come, but when, when, when

I’m getting that you are a confident person. You have a very loving personality. You are a very tough person. You are the warrior of your life. You stand up for yourself and don’t let people take advantage you. You try to keep a positive mindset, but it can be hard for you. You seem like the type of person who’s always in a relationship or always wants to be (nothing wrong with that).

How are you presenting now: Pearl driver

- Dive, dive, deeper

- But hunter, you were human, don’t forget it and go safely

- And, I, I’ll live without you, though the struggle will be daily

Right now you could be doing shadow work, healing, and/or going to therapy. You’re admitting when you’re wrong and learning from your mistakes. You could be feeling like you’re stuck in a sort of “limbo” phase. Though I think that you were the type of person to stand up for yourself, I think that you’re getting even better at it. You’re breaking bad habits especially bad love habits.

You in truest form: working for the knife

- but I’m working for the knife

- I start the day high and it ends so low

- Now at 29, the road ahead appears the same

-I always the thought the choice was mine and I was right, but I just chose wrong

You in your truest form will not be afraid to admit when they are wrong. You will also be fine with not knowing what is going to happen. You in your truest form will not be afraid to let relationships go. You won’t care about pleasing anyone or making people like you.

Pile two

Your life: last words of a shooting star

Lines that stand out

- And I am relieved that I’d left my room tidy

- They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room

- And you’d say you love me and look in my eyes but I know through mine you were looking in yours

- I always wanted to die clean and pretty

Growing up you were always told that you needed to behave and look a certain way. You could’ve grown up with narcissistic guardians or guardians that wanted to live through you and you really struggled to give through that. You may have also struggled with distancing yourself from this people as you got older. Like even though you know it would be best, you love them too much. It could also be that you grew up in a less than accepting family and you had to hide you were. Now that you’re older, you can start to be yourself.

Your personality: First love/late spring

-lately I’ve been crying like a tall child

- please don’t say you love me

- And I was so young when I behaved 25

- one word from you and I would jump off this ledge I’m on baby

You could be a person who is not very trusting. You have a hard time letting people in and you build walls around yourself. You’re the type of person to smile through the pain and pretend like everything is ok. You tend to not care what people say about you. No offense, but you’re the type of person to get mad when someone complains about their childhood or problems because you think that they don’t have it as bad as you. You may do this subconsciously. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when you get these thoughts, catch yourself and realize that everyone’s problems are valid. You could also be the type of person to push people away.

How are you presenting now: me and my husband

- and then I’ll be nothing forever

- so I bet all I have on that furrowed brow

- but when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved

You could have just met a new person and you are investing all of your energy into this new relationship. You kinda of just sit around and wait for things to happen instead of making them happen. Instead of investing all of your energy into other people, you need to start investing it in yourself. There’s nothing wrong with putting energy into your relationships, but you need to balance it out.

You in your truest form: I will

- I will take good care of you

- there’s no need to be brave

- cause all I ever wanted is here

You in your truest form will put yourself first and take care of yourself first. You will be able to be comfortable with yourself and know that your home is with you. You will not be so guarded and afraid of getting hurt. You will know how to love unconditionally both yourself and others. You will let people shower with you love and you will not push them away. You’ll love yourself first. And I’m not saying that you have to completely love yourself to love others and actually find good people for you will help you love yourself.

Pile three

Your life: fireworks

Lines that stand out

- and when I find that a knife sticking out of my side, I’ll pull it out without questioning why

- I will be married to silence

- I’ll hear fireworks outside, and I’ll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry

You enjoy having peace and quiet. You’ve always preferred being alone and getting away from people. You’ve always had a hard time expressing your emotions. You also could’ve been bullied before or have had people against you and you feel like that has made you strong. Though you may not like to admit it, you could be a romantic at heart. In the past, you could’ve had friends that turned on you for no reason or that were toxic.

Your personality: jobless Monday

- oh, I miss when we first met, he didn’t know me yet

- makes no difference where we’ll be

- But please under the light of day

You always had a hard time getting to know people. You’re the type of person who thinks that they don’t need anyone. You’re not the type of person who gives second chances and you also might be more pessimistic. You also might enjoy traveling and have always wanted to get away. Though may not think that you don’t need anyone, you have always wanted that special person in your corner. You always have felt like you don’t fit in with how your supposed to act.

How are you presenting now: fireworks (again)

Uh I don’t think there is a point to pick out lines haha

You’re presenting for very strongly. You don’t give up and you’re very resilient. “It’s over when it’s over” is your motto right now. You know that there’s no escaping your issues and others issues so you go through it all. If you’re not mentally not doing well, but you should always to rest mentally when you can and take care of your mental health. You have a hard time trusting especially in relationships. Whoever hurt in your past really left a bad mark on your life and mind. Though it may be hard, the only way to heal is to let it go and forgive, so you can move on and be happy. Though it’s weird to say, you’re too strong for your own good. You don’t deal properly with your emotions because you say you’re “strong” but you don’t have to be. It’s ok to feel your emotions and not be strong all the time. You don’t have to push everyone away in fear that they will hurt you, it’s ok to trust again.

Shhh, don’t tell the other piles, but I’m gonna give y’all some extra advice: you need to spend some more time looking within. You also need to take a reality check, is that person really not trust worthy or are you being paranoid. Follow your intuition.

You in your truest form: working for the knife

- I guess ‘cause I wish I was making things too

- I always thought the choice was mine, and I was right, but I just chose wrong

Ok so you in your truest form would know that they are able to do whatever they want without making excuses and without needing anyone’s approval or validation. You would feel better about meeting people and not automatically not trusting them. You would able to find true love and friendship. You would start attracting them. You won’t be ashamed to show the world your true self.

Pile four

Your life: fireworks (wow this song is popping up A LOT. If you feel called to pile three, check it out)

Lines that stand out

- I’ll keep going to work and he won’t see a change, Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye

- and I’ll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry

- but you know, oh you know in the quiet he holds, runs a river that’ll never find home

For some of you, you were really praised as a kid for something that you were good at. Like sports, academics, etc. This made you feel like that people didn’t care about some of the other things that you were interested in. You could’ve also felt like that people didn’t care about how you felt. You might be the type of person who falls for someone very quickly.

Your personality: last words of a shooting star

- they’ll think of me kindly

- carefully I was going to live

- quietly it was told to believe

- I’ve always wanted to die clean and pretty

You’re a people pleaser and you only want people to think highly of you. You may have a hard time with differentiating friends from acquaintances. You also could be the type of person who gets irritated when people don’t do their share of work. You probably don’t like when people worry about you and you don’t like sharing your feelings.

How you’re presenting now: real men

(Also this song says nothing about your gender, dw)

- and real men suck it in

- little boys cry and look around for comfort

- and tell me, “well done girl, you’re looking good.”

- oh I’m gonna be a real man

So you are presenting as the type of person who seeks external validation and doesn’t show emotions in public. You always act calm, cool, and collected. If someone is unnecessarily rude or tries to walk all over you, you’ll just suck it in. You could be feeling every lonely right now. You try not to dream that much and stay in reality. Which is really sad btw,,, it’s never a bad thing to dream and actually it’s very important to have hopes and dreams. You try to be the very refined person. Instead of following your own dreams, you follow the dreams of other people or what people say is stable. Like say you wanted to be a musician growing up, but someone told you that you should be something more “stable” and be like a doctor instead. So that’s what you would do. But you need to listen to yourself and your heart and do what you want.

You in your truest form: heat Lightning

- though I’ve held on, cant carry it much longer

- so, I give it up to you, I hope that’s ok

- well I’ve held on but feel a storm approaching

- Can I give it up you? Would that be okay?

You in your truest form would be able to live out their dreams. You may have held on to other people’s expectations, but you’ll know that you don’t have to do that no longer. You’ll be able to speak to other people about how you feel and you’ll not feel like you’ve burdened them. You’ll be able to have intimate relationships with people. You would be able to ask for love you deserve and not settle for less. You would see the hope in the future. You wouldn’t forget all the good things out there in the “bad” moments.

Pile five

Your life: crack baby

Lines that stand out

- blank open eyes watch the moon flower bloom

- crack baby, you don’t know what you want

- but you know that you had it once and you know that you want it back

Ok so in your childhood you probably had people that invalidated your feelings. Because of this, you had a negative a perception of people and the world and you also thought you had to do it all by yourself. Despite this, you always try to be as loyal as possible to the people that are in your life. Also growing up and even now you may have been told that you were a lot better than others at certain things, so you may have gotten a big head,,, you may also be quite stubborn towards change and you accept things as they are.

Your personality: a pearl

- sorry I don’t want your touch

- it’s just that I fell in love with a war

- sorry I cant take your touch

- it’s not that I don’t want you

Ok so like I said in the life part, you probably have a very big ego. I also get that you’re very hardworking. Also, if you want to, you should check out pile 3 and 4. You’re very prideful. Some people might also call you arrogant. You’re very stubborn and won’t take no for an answer (not in the gross weird way, I hope,,, always ask for consent plz and respect it) I’m getting that you’re a very masculine energy which doesn’t mean that you have to identify as masculine, it’s just your energy. I also get you can be very intimidating.

How you’re presenting now: nobody

- And I don’t want your pity

- And I know no one will save me

- And still nobody wants me

You’re presenting as the type person who is very confident and knows what they are doing. You are also presenting as the person who doesn’t want love, help, and maybe even friends. Your probably not interested in finding a long time partner and are only interested in hookups. Though deep down you probably want to find someone to settle down with. You’re presenting as the type of person who is a “realist” or just basically a pessimist. You see things as the way they are and not as they could be. You’re not the type of person who gives out second chances.

Your truest form: first love/ late spring

- wild women don’t get the blues

- so please, hurry, leave me, I can’t breathe

- Tell me “don’t,” so I can crawl back in

While I get that you’re confident now, you’ll be more confident in things like talking about your feelings and stuff like that. You will be able to correctly express yourself in a healthy way and you’ll have healthy relationships. You’ll be more satisfied with your life. You’ll realize you’re the ruler of your life and no one can dictate that. You’ll be able to change even though it will feel uncomfortable but you’ll be ok with that. You’ll be able to see things as the could be and you won’t just accept and expect the worst.

Thank you so much for reading! And I hope you enjoyed this reading :) I hope you have a wonderful day, night, or evening

[bittersweetmorality]

OMG CAN U PLS WRITE A SUB CHUUYA SMUT I BEG

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE BABIE!! sub chuuya is my favorite chuuya 😋😋 sorry this took so long !! i was actually admitted to the hospital and .. YUH so i haven't been able to do literally anything for a bit. but ! i back. also i was listening to the Mitski cover of Let's Get Married the entire time i wrote this ANYWAY i hope u enjoy ^_^

— i'm going to take such good care of you, baby~ pt. 1

☾ pairing: sub!chuuya x GN!Reader (f!bodied reader in the next part, but no pronouns specified in either)

☾ summary: chuuya wants you to take care of him

☾ warnings: very suggestive themes, but no explicit smut (yet), making out, i think that's it

☾ a/n: HIHI Y'ALL. i'm currently writing the second part and it's basically finished, i just thought the only way to pace this fic out was by separating it into two part-- idk why it just seemed off to me if it wasn't. BUT ANYWAY ! SECOND PART OUT VERY VERY SOON !!! and it's literally filthy like ... lord have mercy

☾ w/c: 1,358

| PART TWO |

the entire evening, chuuya was barely being subtle about his feelings— his desire. light touches on your thigh that lasted a little too long not to arouse suspicion, kisses that lingered farther than they should’ve, and the dark look in his eyes as his gaze drank your figure.

even the most oblivious person could tell what was going on— chuuya was never one to hide his feelings, anyway.  even at an extravagant event like the annual port mafia gala, he still managed to show enough PDA to make anyone uncomfortable.

pressing you against him on the dance floor, trying his best to subtly (but failing miserably) grind against you, bringing his face down to your neck.

“chuuya!” you yelped, as he nipped a small mark against your collarbone. “i told you, we’re leaving soon, can’t you calm down for just another 10 minutes?”

you weren’t against PDA— of course not. you knew what you were signing up for when you agreed to be his girlfriend.  but, you just wished that he would be professional for this one night and hold himself together so you didn’t have to shield your eyes from the stares of mafia members.

“aw, are you flustered?” his movements were slightly sloppy from his light alcohol consumption, and you could feel his smirk against your skin. you scoffed, placing your hands on his shoulders and pushing ever so slightly for him to look you in the eyes.

he didn’t move an inch.

“no. i’m not flustered, chuuya,” you tried again, with more force this time. “i just—“ again.  he still didn’t budge.

with a huff, and your patience running dangerously thin, you grabbed his chin harshly. his eyes instantly met yours, big and full of surprise.

“we’re going. now.” your voice wasn’t loud, but it would be nothing if not powerful; stern. 

you had his undivided attention now.

he blinked dumbly a few times before snapping back to reality, and doing his best to regain some semblance of composure “ahem— the gala doesn’t end for another half an hour, babe.  we’re in no rush, are we~” he moved in to steal another kiss, his eyes dark and his hands lingering.

your jaw tensed, and your grip on him even rougher now, “did you hear what i said? now.” you nothing but growled lowly in his ear.

you swear you could hear his breath hitch in his throat, but at that moment your frustration ran far too high to find the means to care. you grabbed his hand, speeding to the front hostess, and giving her a half-hearted ‘thank you,’ as she returned your fancy dress-coats.

as the two of you rode back to your shared apartment, the tension in the air could be sliced with a knife. you noticed that way the red-head seemed to shrink in the passenger seat; but most certainly not out of fear. intimidated was the better word— and as if he wanted to know what you were going to do next.

you’ve never acted like this before, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

“chuuya, baby, why didn’t you listen to me when I told you to tone it down?” you questioned.  your tone wasn’t completely calmed down yet, but it was significantly more gentle than at the event.

he scoffed, “can’t help it when you dressed up like that, doll~” he attempted at teasing you and taking more control, despite his inner dilemma.

something about the way he thought he always had complete control just made you want to ruin him.  you just gave him a small smile, planting a small kiss on his cheek and saying nothing else.  

by the end of the night, you just knew you would make sure he listened to every command you gave him.

for the remainder of the way home, you barely gave him any attention, simply turning on your music and keeping your focus on the road.  his neediness didn’t subside; if anything, it only got more heated.  he still had one hand on your thigh, stroking lightly and squeezing occasionally, whispering sweet nothings like, ‘can’t wait to get you home,’ and ‘want you so bad.’

you couldn’t agree more.

finally unlocking the front door and stepping in, you were instantly met with a messy kiss from chuuya, his arms beginning to snake around your waist.

oh god, was your patience running thin with him tonight.

you grabbed him by both of his wrists, pinning them by the sides of his head and looking him straight in the eyes, “you should know by now, you’re not calling the shots tonight, baby.”  

chuuya was never one to give up quickly, you knew. it wasn’t going to be easy to get him to submit to you, but damnit, you were going to make this man beg on his knees for you to fuck him.

he groaned into your mouth as you kissed him roughly, gently poking your tongue out to brush against his pink lips in question. instead, his lips sealed immediately, breaking away from your kiss and looking into your eyes with a dark gaze.

oh, you knew this would be difficult.

“let go of my hands,” he growled.

“or what? what’re you gonna do about it, sweetheart?” you cooed in his ear. you could feel his muscles tense under your hold as if he was about to break out, but you quickly moved in retaliation. You caged him in with your body and bringing your knee up to brush against his growing bulge. “hm... you want me to let go, but it seems like you’re enjoying this just as much as i am, sweetheart~”

his brow quirked upward, the way it does when he doesn’t know what to say for himself. his body was betraying him. without realizing it, he was finally able to submit to you— throughout the entire evening, the butterflies in the pit of his stomach were purely anticipation.

anticipation for what you were going to do to him.

yet, he still attempted to break out of your hold, feeling the strain in your hold. he was much stronger than you-- you both were well aware of this. if he really wanted to break out and take control, he could. of course, you wouldn't let this remain unspoken between you.

"something the matter, hun?~ you want your hands free?" you whisper, letting your voice run low and your breath fan against his ear, "hm? if you want it so bad, then do it. you know i wouldn't stop you~"

you gave him his time, never rushing him to make the final decision, you wanted chuuya to as comfortable and content with everything.

suddenly, you felt the tension in his wrists go limp. you expected to feel reluctance radiating from him, in his eyes, in his actions. instead, you were met with his blue eyes, big and round and trusting. he relaxed into you.

he was yours.

you chuckled lowly in his ear, basking in your victory for a short moment before beginning to lead him to your shared bedroom. you wanted to make sure the entire experience was perfect,

just for him.

suddenly, you felt a light tug against the fingers wrapped around your hand, ever so slight that if you weren't giving him your undivided attention, you may have missed it.

you looked back at your boyfriend, immediately being able to pinpoint his nervousness.

"hey... chuuya, baby," you whisper, cupping his face gently. "if you don't want to do this, that's okay. hm? i promise, okay?"

he moved his gaze up to meet your eyes earnestly.

"take care of me... please," he said under his breath.

your heart swelled at his words. you knew just how much courage it took for him to say it, and how much trust he had in you for him to mean it.

"oh, honey... don't you worry..." you coo, pulling him flush against you, chest-to-chest. despite his nervous appearance, you could feel his arousal press up against you-- straining against his slacks. oh, he definitely wanted this.

"i'm going to take such good care of you, baby~"

masterlist

[infinitegalahad]

Hi! Request with prompt “i’m not jealous!” “you’re clearly jealous.” With nixon please? I love jealous nix! Lol 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 You’re the best!!!

WASHING MACHINE HEART

Prompts: "I'm not jealous!" and "You're clearly jealous"

Gif Credit: @andrewhaldane

Summary: Nothing ever lasts forever, everybody wants to rule the world. You are pretty much the only person who could change the way Lewis operates, and that's exactly what you do-change him.

Word-Count: 4.8k

WARNINGS!!!: semi-not healthy relationship, alcohol abuse, investment to lovers, sugar daddy/baby, semi-age gap (21-28?), a

Notes: Life lesson learned. Never listen to Mitski or Lana Del Rey when having thoughts about Lewis Nixon being your sugar daddy? Why you may ask? Because it will destroy you. This request was so fun to do, thank you op! I haven't written for Nixon before, so I apologize if he's a little too OOC. Also warning, this is defiantly not the most healthiest relationship, and I realize that. But they try to make it work. Also while writing this, I listened to @web-gott's lewis Nixon playlist and all of her playlists r GREAT BUT THAT DESTROYED ME. great job ily. anyways enough rambles! enjoy!

Taglist: @tvserie-s-world @now-im-a-belieber @50svibes @ricksmorty @pennyllanne @ask-you-what-sir @web-gott

Masterlist | Send In A Prompt!

“You want me to be you’re what?”

Nearly spitting out drinks, Vat 69 mixed with vodka (A Nixon classic). It was quite a bizarre offer. Maybe Lewis had drunk too much, which was a common habit. But you made eye contact with him and he had a shit eating grin on your face. You let out an awkward laugh, and he followed suit.

You had been Lewis’s assistant operations officer since Caretan, there with him through a demotion, a divorice, and all of the other wonderful things that happened in his life. Not only was he your boss, but someone you confided in. He would confine in you, you would confide in him with stolen alcohol-it was a perfect example of mutualism. It’s as if you were his therapist at first, then a friend, and then a friend with benefits. Everything was kept under wraps, of course, for both of you to honor your diginites. Besides, you wouldn't wanna tarnish Lewis’s relationship with your father-considering that he was his boss, a Major general for the 101rst Airborne Division.

“A confidante. Companion. Confrère.” Nixon explained as he poured more vodka into your empty cup, which was not a good sign, “Miss Nixon won’t leave her baby boy alone. If I show her I have someone on my arm, she’ll shut up.”

“So let me get this straight. I go back home with you to New York, attend a party with you, be your arm candy, and you pay me?” You summarized his point, swimming the drink in your hands.

“Money, gifts, whatever you want, I can give you,” Lewis promised. He leaned against the railing as you looked at him. Your elbows grazed against each other. Resting your chin on your palm, you went deep into this arrangement.

The war had ended in The Pacific, so you could finally go home. As much as you were excited to leave and finally get back home, you’d miss Nixon. Sure, you’d be in Bronxville and he’d be Manhattan, only a train ride apart. Yes, he was a total asshole, but he was your asshole. The two of you had been together through thick and thin. Your parents would never approve of an alcoholic divorcee, but there was something inside of him that made you fill up with nervous excitement.

You could hear your mother’s voice, scolding you about the type of man Lewis was. Maybe he was a little too old, a little too broken, and a little too much for you, but that’s what attracted you to him. Over time, you learned that you and Nixon had much more in common. Both of you wanted to get away from your families. Hell, Nixon was paying for your college tuition at Sarah Lawenrece and when he had a weekend pass into Paris, you would come. For “work purposes”, but in all honesty it was for fine dining in Paris, shopping for the finest things in Champs-Élysées with Nixon, arm in arm wrapped under your finley manicured finger, and learning more about Miss Nixon’s best boy.

It was hard to let go of that. Everything he had done for you, and yet you were just friends with benefits. Still, after all you have gone through. It frustrated you. But after his divorce, you wanted to support him. He had lost everything, and without Dick, he was probably more lonely and hurt than ever. You wanted to be his comfort besides Vat 69. This arrangement could be an opportunity for the both of you. Maybe it would be more than an arrangement, but something bigger than that.

Lewis nudged your elbow as he raised a thick eyebrow, “Well, whatta’ say?”

“I say, why the hell not?” You accepted the offer, and the two of you clinked your drinks together. “So would we call this an arrangement? Be the pretty thing on your shoulder and you give me pretty things? Just like in Paris?”

“Just like Paris.” He reassured you, patting your shoulder. Sitting on a bench, he patted the spot next to you with his arm stretched out. “Sit with me?”

“Why I’d be honored too, good sir!” You dramatically stated for a comedic effect, which earned a smile from Lewis as you sat down right next to him. Moving close, both of your thighs caressed with each other. He adjusted and moved his free arm around you, bringing you close to him. You responded by laying your head on his chest, along with one of your hands.

Lewis didn’t say much besides drinking more from his cup, which kept getting refilled and gouged in seconds. There was a cold silence that filled the air. You kept adjusting in his hold, craving for that attention that wasn’t crude jokes or touch, but it always flew over his head. As he got lost in what the hell he was going to when he was home and the alcohol that poured in his system, you laid on his chest, waiting for that kiss, even though you knew that it wasn’t happening.

You closed your eyes as you laid there, pretending that Lewis was more than an arrangement for you.

The thing was, Lewis wasn’t dumb. He knew that too, but he didn’t know how to put it in words, so he used what he knew who to use best-money and gifts. Just as you always did.

~

A month after you had set up the arrangement, the two of you returned home. He went back to Manhattan, you went to Boxnville to attend Sarah Lawernce. Two months later, the week before you’re to head off to see your family in Florida, Nixon finally chooses to call you. After he ignores all your calls, letters, everything-he finally chooses to be a man. It doesn’t even feel like a relationship, which is what you wanted it to be. All of the effort you have made has gone to waste. Lewis looks as if he wants to keep it in an arrangement.

Normally, you’d appreciate the cash and all the lavish gifts, but money didn’t buy happiness.

His offer was simple. The Nixons were throwing a party at the Tribeca Rooftop, and it was bound to be full of every socialite in the Tristate area. Lewis asked for you to accompany him for the weekend. Separate rooms if you wanted, all of the dinners paid for by him, in exchange he gets arm candy and you get all the money you need. You considered using it to pay for rent, but after all-Lew was paying for everything, despite there being ignored communication.

It was hard to pass, and you were frustrated. But despite it all, you took up the offer. It was better than being stuck with your parents.

Once you accepted the offer, Lewis drove his Buggati down to Bronxville to pick you. You lived in a cramped apartment with a bunch of other Journalism majors. Seeing him outside of the window, you opened your window and waved.

“Look at what the devil dragged in.” You spat with a smile.

Lewis looked up at you, wearing those damn aviators he got in Austria. They had also been the ones that you had picked up for him, so it must have been sentimental.

“There you are,” He said, leaning against his car, “You coming?”

“Give me a minute!” You called and closed your window. Grabbing your keys and bag, you walked out of your room and towards the exit, only to see all of the girls who lived in your apartment ushered, admiring whatever the hell Nixon was to you. A friend, a sugar daddy, you truly had no idea.

One of the girls turned her head back to you, smirking as he leaned against the doorframe, “So, you’re the lucky one?”

You looked at her, slipping your boots on and tying them, “For?”

“A weekend in the city with a man who’s got money. Fancy dinners, fancy things, almost anybody would want it,” She explained, a tint of jealousy in her voice, “Just don’t come back pregnant.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” You confirmed. Once you finished getting your coat on, you waved goodbye to your flatmates, who all begged for you to bring nice things back to you, and even a man for them. The thought you made it chuckle, since they were truly all naive to what it was really like to be treated as an investment.

Walking down the stairs, you were greeted by Lewis, slouched on the front of the car and upon seeing you, straightened up. He began to walk towards you, and so do you. For once, he had cleaned himself up and looked like he was taking care of himself. It took you by surprise when he pulled you into a one armed hug, wrapping around your neck. You met with his chest, taking in his expensive cologne.

“Hey,” He mumbled into your shoulder as he held you close. Maybe for warmth, you thought. “I missed you.”

The cold layer you had felt upon seeing Lewis again had suddenly melted away. Normally, he wasn’t so sentimental. He was sarcastic and witty, but this time-he was different. Kinder, softer, just a little sadder. You put a hand up his armpit, also holding him close.

“Guess I did too,” You responded back. Breaking from the hug, the two of you looked at each other. You chuckled to yourself, not really knowing how to fill the silence.

“I’m glad you took up the offer, by the way.” Nixon added on. It made you look up and shrug your shoulders.

“It’s not like I wanna see my family.” Your shoes moved around on the icy ground, swishing the ice to the side. You were happy to see him, but there was just something about Lewis that was always sad. The same could be said about you, but he looked exhausted. Drained, emotionally and physically.

“Yeah, me either. But you make it tolerable,” Lewis said as he took your bag out of your hands, putting it on the back seat. The two of you got into his car. Before he started the car, Lewis threw a velvet case at you. You were taken by surprise and looked at him.

“Open it,” Lewis nudged his head.

Puzzled, you carefully opened the case and smiled. It was the Willsonite sunglasses, the tinted tortoise shell ones you had seen in Austria when roaming the streets with Lewis.

“It’s what all the girls in the city wear,” Lewis explained. He had picked out his gift with precision and care. Normally, all the girls would buy sunglasses for cheap at a stand at the beach, but hell-you were with the Lewis Nixon after all.

You put on the sunglasses and turned to Lewis, the glasses gently sliding down the bridge of your nose. “Is this your apology for neglecting me?”

Lewis leaned back, looking regretful. “I sent money, I sent the Mademoiselle perfume every month, I’m taking care of you-”

“That’s not what I want. I don’t-” You let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of your nose. It was easy to get angry, but you contained yourself, trying to hide your anger. “I love the gifts, but I want one thing. You. I want to actually spend time with you.” You bit your lip, and the only reason you were going to say it was to keep Lewis, “I’m supposed to be your arm candy, aren’t I?”

“You’re more than arm-candy to me, y/n. I enjoy your company. You’re a great kid.” Lewis began to explain his case. His sunglasses fell down his face, revealing the eyebags, “I didn’t want you to know that I went to rehab.”

“What do you mean? That’s all I wanted for you.”

“I know-it’s just. It wasn’t pretty, and you’ve got a lot going through you. I didn’t wanna drag you down with me.”

Guilt tugged at your head. The last thing you wanted to do was make Lew feel guilty. The only way the arrangement was going to work is if Lewis got the help he needed. He repressed his problems, and you were stubborn and weren’t going down with a fight.

“Lew,” You cooed as you put your hand on his. He looked at you as you inhaled and exhaled, “I don’t give a shit about whether it was pretty or not. I’m just glad you’re getting help. Take the worry off of my back. I care, y’know.”

Lewis put his hand on top of yours and his dark eyes connected with yours. He looked deep into your soul as you sat there, a smile on your face. It was your motto to just sit and act pretty. It was backwards, but If it was for Lewis, then it had to work.

“You make everyday worth living.”

You were unable to respond, frozen. The ice barrier that you surround yourself with had melted away. The one thing in your mind was a kiss. It seemed appropriate. As you began to slowly lean forward, not to scare him away, Lewis removed his hands and put them on the wheel as he began to back out of the parking lot. You sat there, your hands once we’re Lewis rested.

“Let’s have a good weekend, okay?” Lewis says, and you clench your hands together. Putting on a smile, you put on the facade of the arm candy. It’s all a part of the game.

“I’d like that a lot,” You commented and moved towards the window. Putting your sunglasses back on, it earned a smile from Lewis as he drove the car. Now both you matched.

“I like those on a lot,” He complemented, “They bring out the shape in your face.”

You moved them down, winking at him. “My oh my. Someone’s coquettish today.”

The two of you chuckled as you drove down the road. As you merged onto the highway and saw the traffic, you made a polite request.

“Can we go down the west side highway instead of the FDR please? It gets down to Tribeca faster.”

“Sure,” Lewis said, his hand resting on the wheel. “Anything for little miss/mister y/n.”

You leaned against the window and smiled to yourself. You should’ve been happy, you had everything you ever wanted.

But the one thing-Lewis’s love.

~

Lewis’s apartment in Tribeca was wonderful, located on the top floor of the most expensive building in the city with glorious paintings, velvet chair, and a built-in fireplace and bar. For such a large place, it was empty, all besides his Daschuand puppy named Pepper. He got the dog since he felt lonely, but made your heart twitch. He let you choose whatever room you wanted, despite the look in his eyes. So, you choose to sleep with him in the master bedroom.

That night, you expected Lewis would want to have sex, but he wasn’t in the mood. Normally, that’s what it was. Fucking and money. But Lewis had changed. He just felt you close in bed, and the two of you walked about mundane things. Pepper, of course, slept in the bed since she was Nixon’s little girl. You fell asleep in his arms, and enjoyed the change of the pace.

The next morning, Lewis took you down to a restaurant on the water. When ordering drinks, he asked for a bloody mary-virgin. You ordered a mimosa-virgin as well.

“You realize that’s just orange juice, right?” Lewis commented as you leaned over the table.

“And you’re drinking raw tomato juice,” You snarked back, which made Lewis smirk. You saw the change in him from yesterday and today. So, you decided to question further. “So, did you quit?”

“Trying. Whenever I think of doing it, I think of you, throwing out every single bottle in my cabinet and threatening to leave me. And I don’t want that, so go figure.”

Under the table, Lewis’s legs crossed and held the ankle of your foot. You felt your cheeks grow pink, grasping onto the napkin on your nap.

“Why me by the way? Think about it. You’re a hermit socialite, I’m a college student. Those two don’t click well together,” You itched the back of your neck.

Lewis looked at you, his leg itching up your ankle. He thought you were joking as he furrowed his thick eyebrows. He stopped, straightening his posture. “Well you, my dear, are someone that isn’t easy to forget. I like making you happy. Also, who else would be paying your rent and tuition?”

“Myself.”

“Waste of money.” Lewis threw his hand up to shrug off the matter, “Where’s the fun in that?”

The waiter came over and put your drinks down. Lewis gave the waiter a thank you as you laughed to yourself. He was really good at playing his role.

“Y’know, you’re good at this stuff. The whole sugar daddy thing,” You let out a snort, taking a sip at your drink.

“I like making others happy. That’s what money does. Not for yourself, but others. When I take you shopping and I see your eyes light up, that’s what makes me happy,” Lewis acknowledged. The two of you looked at eachother. Not in that joking way, but it was romantic. Sweet. He loved to see you happy, and you loved to see him sober. It worked.

“Also, wherever you wanna go today, I’ll take you. But I do have one rule.”

“And what is it?”

“We stop at Lord and Taylors. I have another surprise in store.”

~

The surprise in store turned out to be an outfit for the Nixon’s party. It was nothing too flashy, but regal enough to make you feel like you were out of a fairytale. His goal was to make you the belle of the ball, and he never failed to under the assignment.

Nixon's party was what you expected it to be. Awkwardly meeting Lewis’s parents and his mother giving you a death glare, seeing the dark haired solicates drink, a jazz band, and the best part of the party-Blanche. She was the only one besides Nixon without a stick up her ass. Most of the party you and Nixon were arm in arm. You would occasionally lean against him, yearnin for his attention, but he’d be too busy with the supply of Vat 69.

You had that feeling in your gut, and it wasn’t a good one. It made you sick, anxious, nervous-all around horrible. The more he drank, the more the pit in your stomach would drop. So you went outside onto the patio to catch some fresh air, to be alone and stroll around. Hell, you were even wearing Nixon’s jacket and clutching to it like a child to it’s comfort blanket.

Strolling across the patio and watching the skyline, your moments of peace were interrupted by the distant yellings coming from a room with an open door. You walked down the line, realizing that the voice was Nixon’s.

“An escort at this party? Lewis, you usually disappoint me, but this is unacceptable!” An older gentleman cried, setting down his scotch.

“Do you see the way they were dressed! What a vixen…” A woman cried, who you presumed to be Miss Nixon herself.

“There is nothing like that. They chose to come-”

“Stop lying to yourself. Someone of that age and you, someone with money, is a recipe for disaster. How much do you pay them to accompany you?”

The words kept breaking your heart. You leaned against the window, as fishguard as you were, listening to every single world.

Under pressure, Lewis threw his hands up, “Fine. You know what? You’re right. I pay for what y/n wants. To make them happy and for them to accompany me. They are nothing more than an investment to me.”

Those words cut like ice, like a bullet to the heart. A hand wrapped around your mouth as he pushed away and began to walk away, unable to listen to another word. An investment! How pathetic you felt to think that after all this time, everything you had been through together, everything he had brought you was all for nothing. Just like you had been told, Nixon was using you for your youth or as a way to cope with his many divorces.

Naturally, you would have felt like running out of the place and getting on the next train to Bronoxville, never seeing Nixon again. But there was anger in your heart that burned brighter than any fire you had seen. The ice surrounded your heart once more. It was a party, after all. And you didn’t want to leave without leaving a mark. After all, you 're a vixen.

Long story short, you stormed back into the party and met another young soilciate. Typical asshole with too much money and his way paid into an Ivy League. You didn’t even catch his name as the two of you conversed, and he kept the alcohol pouring. The two of you sat on a couch, and he eventually cozied up to you, wrapping an arm to pull you close. Just as he was on the topic of bringing you to Montauk to the summer, Nixon, of course, had come by.

“Hey, smartass. What the hell are you doing?” Nixon spat, the alcohol evident in his voice.

Smartass was now his name, and you couldn’t even remember it. Smartness looked up at Nixon, shrugging, “Talking to this pretty little thing. Why don’t you go back to drinking and ruining your family name?”

That comment was enough to make Nixon throw a punch, once again bring shame to his family, and get the two of you kicked out of the party. Lewis tried to talk to you, but you ignored every word he said until you reached the apartment.

“What is your problem?” Nixon asked, closing the apartment door. You threw off his jacket, throwing it onto the ledge of the loveseat.

You let out a snort at his unbelievable behavior. He acted as if he did nothing wrong.

“Are you serious? What is your problem!” You hissed back, “You can’t control yourself in drinking, let alone with me hanging out with other men. Face it, you’re just some spoiled , jealous, alcoholic.”

Lewis ignored all of those other comments and chose to focus on the most petty of them. “I’m not jealous!”

“Ha! You clearly are!” You quickly quipped back, walking towards him as he pointed your finger at his chest. “Look at you! Getting all angry, throwing punches. Just for a little investment! After all, I’m just what you use when you need a distraction from all of your other life problems. Just like all of your failed marriages.”

Your eyes began to feel watery and you spun around, biting your lip as he attempted to hold it together. This hurts more than you wanted it to, and no matter what you did, the waterworks wouldn’t stop.

Despite being drunk, Lewis could sense what he did was wrong, and he fucked up-bad. He was drunk, frustrated, and had no control of what he was doing.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean that.”

“Like I mean anything to you,” You sniffled, wrapping your arms around yourself, “The only reason I came was because I wanted...something more than an arrangement. I, fuck-love you, damnit.”

There was a silence in the room, and you felt cold. Goosebumps trailed all over your body as you bit your lip to contain your sobs. Suddenly, a pair of arms held your shoulders and turned around. Knowing it was Nixon, you wanted to punch him, but your head fell into his chest as you let out a long sigh.

He rested his head in your hair, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close to his warm body.

““I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that but yeah, I love you too.” Nixon said into your hair, drawing circles into your back. “How mad would you be if I kissed you?”

“Absouetly fucking furious.” You tilted your head up as Nixon grabbed your chin, and your lips collided. It was a beautiful and messy lip with lounges smearing against each other. The messier it got, the more passionate it was. Eventually, the kiss calmed into a fiery disaster into a slow moving dance. Through the kisses, you let out a moan, which made Nixon’s hand go lower down your back. You separated from the kiss to catch some air.

“Why’d you stop, my dear?”

You playfully slapped his chest, “You’re lucky you’re hot. Can we go to bed, please?”

The older man swooped you and carried you to bed, treating you like the royalty you were. Once you were placed in bed with Penny by your side, Lewis crawled in next to you, holding you close.

“That’s why I asked you to come, y’know. I wanted to tell you, but I thought you’d say no.”

“For someone so smart, you don’t pick up on cues. Lewis Nixon, I love you, but you’re an idiot sometimes.”

“I’m your idiot, dollface.” Nixon smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. You felt his body weight onto you as you patted his shoulder, giggling.

“Have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?”

Lewis pressed little kisses into your hair before stopping his kissing parade to stare at you. He moved the bangs from your face, letting his hand rest on your skin. “The world could be on fire and I'd still be happy as long as I'm with you.”

Once again, Lewis brought you close and the two of you made passionate love. It wasn’t out of frustration or anger or a distraction, but it was raw, genuine, and emotional. It was all you ever asked.

~

A patterned knock on the door prompted you to stop unpacking the books from your book and to call, “Come in!”

Turning around, you saw Lewis walk in, along with Penny, who was scrambling in on her tiny feet.

“Well look at what the cat dragged in.” You smirked, and Lewis threw his arms up. He held a photo in his hand. You returned to putting the last of your textbooks on your desk, gently patting them down.

“How’s the unpacking going?” Lewis asked as he picked up Penny, who was squirming to attack your face with kisses. You walked over and gave both Penny and Lewis a quick peck. You admired your brand new Burkburnett Desk with Hutch. Photos, memorabilia from Europe, books, and pencils decorated your desk for school.

“Good. Turns out, living in a penthouse is a thousand times better than being a dormitory.” You said, leaning your shoulder against Lew’s as you played with Penny’s floppy ears. After some decision, Lewis had made your relationship official, but to both of your parents distaste. Your parents thought Lewis was a creep, his parents thought you were vixens. As Lewis said, the thanksgiving we're going to be interesting. So Lewis decided that you should move in with him, which you didn’t reject. Tribeca wasn’t that far from Bronoxville.

“Good girl/boy. I’m glad you already like it here.” Lewis cooed into your ear, placing a tender peck. “I got an addition for your desk.”

Lewis pulled the photo and showed you. A smile appeared on your face as you took the beautiful frame. It was a black and white photo of you and Lewis, having dinner on top of the Refinery Rooftop. Both of you had your hands together on the table, smiling as the sun set in the sky. Despite there being no colors, it was a breathtaking photo.

“I know just where to put this.” You breathed, walking towards your deck. Right next to your light and glasses was where the photo went. Next to it, a photo of Lew holding a two week old Pepper, a gift from Blanche. More like Blackmail according to Nixon, but you didn’t care. “There. Perfect. Now I’m all moved in.”

Lew snuck up behind you, snaking his hands around your waist as he rested his head on your shoulder. You leaned back with a subtle smile, putting one of your hands on his own.

“Since you’re here to stay, I was thinking of dining in tonight. Blanche’s coming over too.”

“She is?” You hummed.

“Yup. I Want to see the new place, since you came in and cleaned it up.” Lewis mumbled, “How does that sound?”

“That sounds great. Just peachy, Lew.”

You and Lewis fell in love during the war. You were there for eachother in your worst moments and pulled each other up when you both needed it most. But nothing is ever easy in life. You fight. It’s rough. You fight, breakup, kiss, and makeup. With Lewis’s recovery and your family disowning you, the path down the road won’t be easy. You know that you and Lew will face thousands of hardships, but it’s ok. You have each other, and it’s not perfect at all. But it works, and that’s all that matters.