#also me: thinks about it a whole bunch for this ask anyway
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I don't really do my homework lol, so when I get home I have some time; and sleep is overrated anyways /hj (i mean if I got 5 hours of sleep last night i'm impressed lol)
When I do do homework, usually i do some time management where I pop on tumblr as a little break
Actually rn I'm technically attempting to do homework, I have to "find a question for the 'big oral' (yes it's called that) at the end of the year" actually 2 questions but 1 would already be nice and i either need one on biology (or geology but no way lol) and one on art, or 2 that mix both biology and art
And the thing is, you prepare two of these things just so they can make sure you worked, but you'll only present one, and honestly for most normal students, yeah, this is worth 10% of the final grade, but for me it's something like 10/160 instead of 10/100
If you want me to rant way more about this stupid fucking thing, I am more than capable lol
Anyways
i lived an hour away by bus and i was not about to stay when i had no lessons and i also had no friends to do ts with --> oh yeah that's not at all encouraging to do extracurriculars
Honestly I wouldn't actually mind doing stuff, but I don't really have the time to lol
Philosophy is absolutely up to personal opinion, but they also grade your ability to talk fancy, and the thing is I'm (most likely) autistic so I just write plain and simple things without really bullshitting my way through SEVEN FUCKING PAGES (I tend to do like 3 max) and they aren't happy
My teacher is absolutely terrible cause throughout the year my best grade was 14/20 (don't ask why our grades [in france, not just in philosophy] are out of 20, I have no idea lol), usually I got more 5/20 lol. And if I got 5/20 but with a bunch of comments saying, "oh, maybe do this", or "you could mention this", I'd be like 'ok so i have an idea of how to improve now ty'
but no, we got a test back today and I got 5/20 and he wrote: "Insufficient" at the top of my test, he quoted the methodology at me, he circled a reference I put without adding any comments, and he signed the paper like he did all the others. Useful dude.
[I mentioned harry potter because LITERALLY ALL THE PEOPLE with better teachers I TALKED TO said that drawing on personal knowledge and/or pop culture is a good way to go (one of my friends who has a different teacher literally got recommended a book on philosophy through a harry potter lens BY HER TEACHER), however my incompetent teacher apparently hates that]
in a modicum of fairness to him, I haven't listened to most of the classes since like september, but that's because in September I listened, took notes, and understood nothing; and I chose to write smut in class instead, or do homework, or sew stuff because at least that's more useful.
(we often have strike days where our absences are justified, so you can get away with not going to class [they do tell your parents though]; and one strike day, I was planning on going home anyways cause my back hurt, and a friend and I went to a café down the street instead of going to philosophy, and we got a lot more work done than if we'd gone to the philosophy class.)
(he teaches as if we were students in higher education who all chose to do philosophy and already know a bunch of things, and all he has to do is encourage us to think of some things and to offer some more authors; I believe at the beginning of the year he was like "oh yeah so you should do about an hour or two of reading [philosophical books] per week" and there is no way I'm reading in french [despite having lived here my whole life, I generally abhor reading in french lol] about topics I don't understand in the slightest, written in overcomplicated language by dudes who died centuries ago every week)
(he forgets most of us encountered philosophy with him)
very quick drawing lol
okay very important question did you take history or geography in school?

nope😓😓 French, art, and food tech
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heyyy don’t mean to bother you but did you know that um. You, now - the ones listening to my idling progress from back home in Glottage - you’re telling yourselves; Val cannot possibly be growing angry over something like this. How dare she? The hypocrite. How can this thing, this monster, this battle-saint, possibly find any kind of righteous anger in her twisted and repurposed heart for the lives of the fallen foe? How does our terrible Val think she can justify any kind of anger at the sight of the flattened and buried corpses of enemy civilians and enemy children, when we’ve already been listening to her murder police officers, soldiers and townsfolk single-handedly in turn? How can she be furious when we’ve heard her butcher her way through the little old ladies of the CLS in the hopeless effort to murder her own faraway mother? (Mockingly) See? You can be sacred and yet self-aware. Yes, I am culpable. I am dreadful. I have been responsible for great atrocities and I will commit a great many more before I’m done. And still - I am growing furious, as I walk through the devastation of this town. Because the wound of Sutler’s Weald is not like any wound I would make. It’s clumsy, it’s crude. It’s thoughtless. I begin to tell myself, as I walk - I wouldn’t have murdered them like this. I would have been kinder. I would have killed them quickly or gracefully, and there would have been beauty and strangeness in the manner of it. And even that’s all deception, even if I had been cruel and slow and lingering in the massacre of these innocent people, upon my whim - I would at least have looked them in the eyes, and I would have borne the weight of my cruelty. If they’d asked me to, I could have killed this town beautifully. And I’d have borne witness to the horror, and I’d have rejoiced in it - and it would have been considerably less vile and ugly than this. The ones back home, the ones who are listening in, I don’t think they know what they’ve done here. The line of connection between the victim and the victimiser, the sacrifice and the god - it’s long, and tangled, and indistinct. A god should not be able to avert her eyes. What a terrible thing it must be, to be monstrous and not even know it. And even if all of this is lies, even if I am just as bad and just as careless as the people back home who did this to Sutler’s Weald… …well, then, let me hate them, pure and simply, for being just as bad as me, because people - -people should be kinder than the gods that eat them. The town square is largely intact. A few burning cars, a single shrine and statue to some goddess of victory, her snapped-off arm raised in imagined triumph. I sit down upon the pavement in the ruined heart of the town, and I tell the dead people of Sutler’s Weald beautiful lies. I tell them that they survived, in their hundreds - miraculously and inexplicably, dodging the bombs. Not a single victim, not one death. An act of divine mercy. When that doesn’t work, I tell them that they were buried properly, according to whatever rites or customs they happen to cherish. When that doesn’t work, I try and turn them into my mother again, in the hopes of making the dead people hateful to me. When that doesn’t work, I tell them that I’m sorry. I tell them I wish they still had ears to become all the wondrous imaginings I had in store for them. I tell them… …that all things considered, they deserved a better avenging and foreign god, a better tormentor, a better oblivion, than the one that was forced upon them. (With cold fury) I tell them- I will find a way to give them something better.
#SORRY for the wall of text but i thought about val siltverses for to long and felt blood slowly begin to leak from my ears#you understand. anyways pov i show up in s3 i have absolutely soul-crushingly devastating worldbuilding implications attached to everything#i do i inflict twisted body horror and mommy issues on the citizenry i do a whole bunch of war crimes like actual for real war crimes not#in a hahaha joke way like actual for real on screen war crimes and i’m also kind of a walking war crime/act of state-sanctioned violence/#victim of the system/perpetrator of the system myself and i get the best monologues in a show that’s made up of 80% monologue by volume and#then you think about me for the rest of your life.#‘If they’d asked me to I could have killed this town beautifully.’#‘What a terrible thing it must be to be monstrous and not even know it.’#‘people should be kinder than the gods that eat them.’#ALL BANGERS ALL THE TIME SHE LITERALLY NEVER ONCE MISSED!!!!!#one day i will attempt actual valnalysis but it will not be anytime soon i fear because i literally cannot think about her for to long.#silt verses chock full of the characters of all time bc i don’t think she’s even my real favourite out of all of them that honour goes to#carpenter or paige depending on the day. and yet she absolutely haunts me.#*stares in podcast rambling*#tsv#the silt verses#tsv s3#val tsv#tsv spoilers
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Been thinking of making a tierlist of my thoughts on all the teams for a while so here it is!! As you can see, I am indifferent to or hate most of the league... 😶🌫️🫣 which is why I generally say I'm more of a Canucks fan than a hockey fan lol
#a lot of these rankings are emotionally charged and based off of the fight for the western conference wildcard spot right now...#apologies to any of my mutuals that are fans of teams in the lower tiers#to be clear there are still players on the teams in “actively praying for your downfall” and “oh you exist” that I like#bedsy on the h*wks#flower on the wild#sid on the p*ns#not a player but my queen jessica campbell!!#etc!!#also note that there is quite some distance between the top tier and the one following it#i do like those teams but nothing comes close to my canucks brainrot#i fear becoming attached to this team at the ripe age of like... 3 might've caused a permanent shift in my brain#the reason i'm somewhat attached to the leafs is so stupid#like it's largely because i like most of the current top players there and feel bad about (and relate) to their first round struggles#and i feel like the canucks and leafs are paralleled in so many ways. that's a whole other tangent.#but like. when i was a kid before i knew what the hell was going on#or how to read. i thought the leafs were just the canucks. because they both wore blue.#as you can guess i was a brilliant child.#one of my first memories is being posted up in front of our big bellied TV and watching a nucks away game against the leafs#and just not being able to tell who were our guys.#in my defense the canucks had a lot of alternate jerseys so it felt viable to me that that could just be another one#for the sharks it's mostly because i'm a sucker for an underdog story#(NOOO way REALLY??? a canucks fan??? obsessed with underdogs? never woulda guessed!)#and for the hurricanes it's. i don't know really. i think i liked that “bunch of jerks” marketing tactic from a couple seasons ago#anything mocking don cherry gets a thumbs up from me#and a player (i think his name was zach??) on the canes (at the time) liked my shitty canucks edit on instagram one time in like 2018#and my friend and I freaked out about it#i wonder where he is now.#anyway i've typed an essay in here but that's okay. I love dropping lore nobody asked for#if you're still here here's a kiss for you: mwah!#vancouver canucks
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🪤 sits on the edge of my seat blinking at you with huge eyelashes waiting for you to answer the like 4 asks you must have in your inbox

yeagh i got like 4 asks
#THIS IS NOT COMPLAINING IN THE SLIGHTEST PLEASE KEEP SPAMMING MY ASKBOX.#whenever i talk about getting a bunch of asks know that i am on cloud 9 and asking for even more. because im greedy#also its great because sometimes the anons play into each other PERFECTLY and i can combine them (post like that coming soon.....)#also i need to go through and delete some ones i screenshotted to answer so its not fully accurate but. yeah sorry#to 🪤 anon specifically:#your asks literally made me put down my phone and stare at the wall for a few minutes im. writing really long responses rn#i also think im going to write the last one you sent as a whole fic. like a longform piss fic. because im insane.#i take forever to respond to your asks specifically because theyre always so good and so substantial that i want to elaborate on EVERY LINE#but rest assured when i see that emoji i get cartoon awooga eyes and RUN to read the rest of the ask<3#i think me trying to answer the shorter asks first because theyre quicker is kind of dumb because i end up writing a novel anyway.#also your y/ulieva ask must have gotten eaten by tumblr im afraid because i dont have any from you that i havent responded to :o#that could have been said as a metaphor#jesus i need to stfu in the tags sorry#🪤 anon
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talking to him more very much achieved. we just talked for like 4 hours in the kitchen holy shit I need to sleep
#I went into the kitchen to wash up wanting it to be a few minutes to get back to my parents by he came home at the same time#unsure what just happened honestly! as in I’m not sure what is going on from his end of the interaction#because I have never met anyone who would just do that before. like four hours straight when before we’d talked for periods of idk 10minutes#and he WAS engaged the whole time#granted he spent a significant amount of time talking. he talked far more than I did which is often the case but Im not sure how I felt here#I think he gets excited abt individual topics and. gets carried away is the wrong word but he gets absorbed in it#he spent a while talking me through the very complex maths he’s been doing recently#(he studies maths. also abt to start masters.) and was assuming a much stronger mathematical background than I have but I understood a bunch#he IS very good at explaining things and I was interested to a point but unfortunately I was not going to ask about individual theorems and#shit like that at 11pm. it was still super interesting I’m not downplaying that but I didn’t know half of what he brought up#there was basically no way I was going to understand much more than the vague concept anyway#anyway! also extremely into food. especially into traditional chinese cooking which is cool as fuck and I now know so much more abt food#I have never personally cared much at all about food. I enjoy when taste good and I enjoy cooking. he’s into the precision cooking#that he told me apparently Chinese and French food is the best in the world at. meant to be amazing at going for specific effects#oh he came back from a musical! apparently abt a woman with bipolar that was on in London I might check what that was. next to normal#cried 7 times. apparently he’s super into stories with that kinda emotional payoff. started telling me later abt tokyo animation#priest if you’re already seeing this I WILL be asking you abt it later but pls tell me whatever. he likes clannad and sound euphorium#bunch of others but those are the ones he talked most abt and started tearing up when he played me a song from clannad where the baby’s born#so I think biggest things I’ve learned are that he’s impressively in touch w his emotions (further damaging the straight guy case)#regardless it’s just nice to talk to a guy who talks abt stuff so openly it’s very refreshing#unsure how cultural differences factor in here. I would’ve expected it to go the other way but possible this is a degree more normal#and he’s very very academically minded. he learned Japanese bc was bored after high school and is doing a WHOLE lot of extra maths for fun#socially definitely very competent he’s very good at talking but a little more focused inward.#definitely did not notice the (admittedly extremely gentle) flirting throughout like when I complimented his bracelet#(this cute gold year of the rat thing his mum got him)#so yeah. was very fun talking to him. will process this for a while#I think this has definitely established that we could be friends if either of us pursue that after summer which is very cool!! will see#luke.txt
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— Ride It Like A Rodeo
Synopsis: Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Warnings: cowboy sheriff!kmg x diner worker!fem reader, cowgirl position, raw sex, boot riding, oral (m and f recieving), mg is kinda mean here, very horny, lots of petnamds
The blazing sun wasn't to be mistaken. It was here and you could feel it, but no amount of heat can dry up the wet feeling between your thighs.
There was something about watching Mingyu ride a horse, wearing a full cowboy attire topped with his favorite cattleman hat, under the firing heat with sweat dripping down his forehead, forearms flexed as he takes control of his horse. A sheriff badge sitting nicely on his left upper chest pinned nicely to his cowboy vest.
Imagine how hot it would look like having his forearms would look like on your waist guiding you to grind on him. Biceps flexing as he picks you up. His whole body oiled up in sweat.
Luckily for you, you don't have to hold it in imagination for too long.
Mingyu wasn't a stranger to your diner. He often visits the place to eat his favourite meal, and also to have a taste of your special milkshake. It was a nice break from doing rounds around town.
Walking in the place, the swinging doors emit a sound letting you know of his arrival. Only you, because there was no one else at the place right now. "Afternoon sugar, weathers been extra hot lately huh?" He winks, sitting down at the bar stool, conveniently located right in front of where you rest over at the counter.
It takes a while for you to answer, taking in his beauty. His tan skin glowing with sweat, sharp features, beautiful nose, his lips, and canine smile. How could you not admire him really?
"No need to tell me, your sweat speaks for itself. Want your usual?" You ask, trying your best to maintain eye contact so as not to wander anywhere else, especially the wet patch on his long sleeve botton up slightly clinging to his abs. Not to mention his rolled up sleeves and bulging biceps.
"Been starin' at me have 'ya? I think I'll take my special."
"Coming right up!" You smile, attempting a genuine one but your eyes says otherwise. You turn around to enter the kitchen and make his milkshake, one you only make for him courtesy of the amount of times he requested for adjustments in the flavouring to fit his taste.
It takes a while before you finally get to finish it off with whipped and a cherry on top. Serving it to him with an ever so sweet smile as if it isn't taking every will of your power to not just jump at him.
"Thanks sweetheart." He winks. He was no longer wearing his hat, cowboy vest off his chest, slightly dry now due to waiting but still glistening nonetheless. "So.. got any stories to tell? Any bandits been causing trouble lately? Something I should be on the look out for?" You try to initiate a conversation, Mingyu was a nice company, all hots aside.
"As of late? Nah, towns under control. Didn't saw anything while on the road, just a few bunch of squirrels and tumbleweeds if that's what you're interested in."
"Boring.." You rest your cheek on the palm of your hands, elbows rested atop the counter as you drag out the last syllable. He chuckles at you, locking eye contact as he grabs the cherry, dangling it on his open mouth, barely touching his lips before he takes it one bite with his teeth, jaws flexing while he chews on the fruit.
A smirk etches it's way on his face when he sees you gulp, eyes looking to the left away from him. "Boring huh? Wanna ride on me then?" He asks.
"What?" You turn to him, eyes wide open only to see him take the stem of the small fruit, before taking out and showing a small knot.
"You wanna ride with me then?" He raises his brow, tossing the knot to the side, tilting his head to the right as his smile turns upward as well. "Um..." You position both your hands to lay flat on the counter but as you do, you knock the cup of milkshake causing it to spill all over him. "Shit, I'm sorry, I-"
"Nah, it's fine, needed a change anyway, got any extra shirt for me sweetie?" He cuts you off, standing up lazily as if he wasn't just spoiled by his drink. "I think we do- yes, let me just clean the mess- hold on." You were panicking, you didn't knew what to do first. Torn between him or the spilt liquid all over the counter.
Luckily for him he knew exactly what he wanted to do.
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"This is all we got, it's for the male employees, shirts go 'till xl so... yeah."
Kim Mingyu, the mist respectable sheriff of your town, the embodiment of a wet dream, your not so secret crush, is stripping his upper clothing off right in front of you. Showing off his pecs and giving you a full view of his hard earned muscles. "Yeah?" He smirks at your flustered look. "Got any problem sugar?" He says, walking towards you.
The space you two were in was cramped, a mere utility room of just cleaning supplies and spare clothes for the employees. The door was closed, you don't remember it being that way when you entered, nor do you remember telling him to close it.
You indeed do have a problem. Your panties was damp, unfortunately for you, unlike a shirt, it can't be replaced so easily unles syou fix the source of the problem. Nonetheless, you shake your head 'no', eyes staring intensely right at him.
"Really? So if I touch your cunt you won't be just as wet as my chest?" He asks.
"How..."
"Skirts not long enough to hide your panties when you bent down to grab that shirt. Think it's only rightful that I help a needy citizen of mine ey?"
"You ask too many questions."
"You've answered few. Last question baby, yes or no?"
You let a few beats pass before eventually, "Yes."
His hands find your thighs immediately, lifting you to sit on the small shelf to which barely holds your butt, however it was no problem because Mingyu was groping it in an instant.
The tall man captivates you in a kiss while his hands spread your cheeks apart, sliding underneath your skirt to fully remove your panties before spreading your cunt making you feel the air.
"Fuck, you're so wet." Mingyu slides a finger in, curling it up, his mouth never leaving your mouth as he swallows your kiss, his tongue slides with your as you share your salivas. He was just as good as you'd imagine.
Another finger goes in, then another, and another, before he finally gets on his knees and fully eating out your pussy. He was acting like a starved mad man, and he was.
"Don't know how long I've waited for this. To have you like this, fuck you're just as good you're milkshake." Mingyu moans. The sheriff was finger fucking you with four fingers going in and out, curling up as it does. His mouth was sucking and licking all over, one of his thumbs play with your clit as be basically pins you to the wall of the shelf with your thighs.
You looked like a mess, probably sounded like one too, eyes crossef and mouth open letting out pathetic and barely tangible sounds.
"'M c- close! Fuck!" Your first full words after giving consent.
A pulls everything out and away before slapping your cunt once with his heavy hand making your tremble as you cum. "You weren't supposed to cum and you know that, but you're a slut, you don't know how to do anything but cum on me." He gives another slap this time to your boobs, tugging the top of your dress down until your tits is all in it's glory.
Mingyu stands on his two feet, unbuckling his pants to free his dick. Standing tall and hard with precum leaking off the tip. All for you to lick. You slide lff the shelf to your knees, eyes faded when you gran his dick to lick and slobber all over.
"Fucking whore, don't even need to tell you to do shit. Doing it on your own already huh?" He chuckles, grabbing a handful of your hair before shoving his full dick in. He steps his boots forward, "Grind on it bitch."
You moan, grinding your wet cunt on his cowboy boots as you move your head on his cock. "Yeah, serve me like the good toy that you are." He smiles, rubbing your cheek as you start to cry when he holds your head in place when he fucks your mouth at his own pace.
Your hands find it's way around his thighs as you grind, practically clinging on him as he fucks you harder. His hands grab onto your neck, choking you full on, threatening to cut your air supply double time with his fingers and his dick. His boots tapping on the floor to further stimulate your cunt.
He can feel the leather getting soaked up by your juice as if he's stepping in a puddle of rain. "Love your milkshake but I bet you'll love mine better." He pulls his hands around your throat away and places it ontop of your head, practically patting you as he cums inside your mouth forcing you to take him all.
You don't know how much you've cummed on his boots but you're sure it's more than one. Mingyu lifts you up from the floor as he lays his ass flat on it, upper body leaning back on the door before guiding you back down.
"C'mon cowgirl, haven't cummed in you yet. Can't give up on me that easily." He teases, rubbing your cunt as he lowers you onto him. "M.. mercy, please." You plead, holding on the muscles of his biceps. You were barely there to be honest. But Mingyu knows you can take it, this wasn't your first rodeo with him after all.
"Shhh.. none of that now. 'Know you can take it." He wipes your tears away, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, contrary to his move that follows as he grabs your hips steadily and thrusts his own u, burying his dick inside of you in one go.
Thankfully the diner was usually empty at this hour.
He plants you ontop of him, letting your head fall on the crook of his neck for as long as you let him rock your hips back and forth. "Baby, it's either you fuck yourself on me at your pace or I go at you 'till I'm satisfied." He whispers in your ear making you whimper and look at him with glassy eyes, a cute pout on your lips.
You pull away from his neck. If there was one thing about Mingyu, it's that he stays true to his claims. His pounding would be too much too soon.
You slowly move up and down on him, clenching on him as you let out a mix of whimpers and moans making him groan and hold tightly onto your waist. It was taking everything in him not to flip you over right now and hard fuck you 'till you pass out.
"Fuck yeah baby, just like that." He whispers, pulling you into a kiss to hopefully keep him under control. You slowly regain your energy as you move faster, moving your ass up and down as you lean on him, holding onto his chest.
He uses his hands to spread your ass open and close repeatedly, sneaking slaps in between.
It was getting louder and louder in the small room, your sounds a mix of slaps, squelch, moans, whines, and gasps. As if it was a set on a porno.
"Yeah, good girl, riding me so good. You like that huh? Like riding your favorite cowboy, acting like a slutty cowgirl."
Your thighs begin to burm when you whimper to him a sweet "Gyu.. please.." A plea and permission at the same time.
"Got it princess." He gives your ass a slap before taking control and lifting his hips to fuck you straight. Mingyu will forever be a cowgirl defender, the view of seeing his cock dive in and out of you repeatedly is like no other, his dick coming out wetter and creamier each time.
You plant your hands on his chest keeping yourself steady as he fucks you out of your mind. His hands around your waist, forearms flexing as you locks you in your position.
You were reduced to nothing but a hole for him to fuck and indulge in. Mingyu was practically being hypnotized by your tits as they jiggle up and down, he puts one in his mouth sucking it like his life depends on it.
"Fuck, 'M cumming." You mewl on him
Mingyu pulls away and keeps your hole plugged by his dick, his thrusts become sloppy and inconsistent as he nears his climax. "Yeah, me too, c'mon baby milk my cock, take it all sweetheart. Fuck!"
You collapse on top of him and he catches you, securing you to him as wrapping his arms around your sweaty body.
"Now we're both sweaty."
#seventeen#seventeen x you#seventeen smut#kpop smut#kim mingyu#kim mingyu x reader#seventeen fanfic#kim mingyu smut#mingyu#seventeen x reader#kim mingyu x you#mingyu x you#mingyu x y/n#mingyu x reader#kim mingyu x y/n#mingyu smut#seventeen mingyu#seventeen kim mingyu
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First Date Ideas (Multi TWST Cast X Reader)
Summary: Short drabbles of where you would take your favorite Twisted Wonderland guy on a first date, and where he would take you.
AN: Pseudo part 2 to the asking-out fic I posted. Not really much else to say besides I really liked trying to come up with a bunch of unique ideas. Thanks for reading!
Cross-posted on my AO3 TheGhostInTheKitchen
Warnings: Fluff
Part 1: Asking them out
Ace:
Where you take him: Arcade
It’s fun, it’s cozy, it’s classic, and it gives Ace a chance to show off. You both get a bunch of tokens, eat greasy pizza, and try your hand at the games. You take each other on in skeeball and Ace tries to convince you to go against him in the basketball game but you argue he has an unfair advantage. So you settle for the racing simulator. After, when you collect all your tickets, you pour over the prize counter, probably ending up with something not very impressive, or maybe a snow cone maker that stops working after the first three uses. But you’ll treasure it since it’s loaded with memories.
Where he takes you: Carnival
This boy is already a clown, put him back where he belongs. Besides the fact that it gives him an excuse to impress you by winning prizes at the games alley, or trying to anyway, a carnival date fits Ace’s high energy. You can share popcorn and cotton candy while watching the circus acts and Ace will whisper to you explanations for the tricks the magician uses. There’s plenty of stuff to do and tons of fried food. It’s a classic for a reason. And he’d love it if you hold on to him on the rollercoasters. He ends up screaming more than you.
Deuce:
Where you take him: Petting zoo
I just want to see Deuce fawning over baby chicks, is that so much to ask? NGL, I think he’d love it. You could go to some sort of tourist farm and check out the cows getting milked, sheep shearing or sheepdog herding, and collect eggs from the chickens (the kind that don’t hatch into chicks). I can also see Deuce getting into a grudge match against a goat that keeps bonking into his legs with his horns. At the end of the day you’ll sit at a picnic table eating some treats made at the farm and watch the sunset.
Where he takes you: Botanical garden
Deuce would want to do something classic, a surefire, tried and tested dating spot. I can imagine him being nervous, getting you flowers when you are already going to see more flowers. You’ll hold the flowers in one hand and Deuce’s, slightly sweaty, hand in the other. If they have a butterfly room, even better. They’ll have a little booklet with different species and you and Deuce go on a scavenger hunt to identify as many as possible. Winner gets kisses.
Trey:
Where you take him: At home food science experiment kits
Did you ever see those at home science food kits where you made gummies and foam and other candy, usually themed to something really weird like monsters or worms? Yeah, you do those, half making fun of how weird it looks and half marveling at the cool effects of swirling all the different ingredients together. Will they taste amazing? Probably not, but Trey probably knows a few cool tricks to make everything a little more edible.
Where he takes you: Chocolate factory tour
Have you ever been to Hersheypark in Pennsylvania? There’s a whole section with a little dark ride that shows you the history of chocolate (that’s worse since they took the singing cow animatronics out), a cute interactive play, a trolly ride with chocolate samples, and two chocolate making experiences. You can stuff a giant Reese’s Cup (which is way too sweet IMO) or design your own chocolate bar including the wrapping. Anyway, there’s probably not a one-to-one replica, but with all that magic you can’t tell me there’s not something Willy Wonka-esque. You’ll both spend the day learning about the history of chocolate and chocolate making in Twisted Wonderland, capped off by making all kinds of treats. You’ll experiment with typical flavors, like raspberry, caramel, and nuts, to the more extraordinary, like jalapeno, lavender, and cheese. In the end, you’ll go home with a full box and a picture of the two of you, melted chocolate smearing your faces. (Trey will remind you at least three times to brush your teeth properly after all that sugar.)
Cater:
Where you take him: Thrift store
Listen, you find the right thrift store and you can find amazing treasures. And if not, well, you still find weird, kitschy stuff you can have fun ogling. You and Cater will take turns finding the best and worst outfits in the thrift store, having a makeshift fashion show by the changing rooms. Cater would, of course, take plenty of pictures for Magicam, labeling them #MeetMyNewPartner, #HeightOfFashion, #BestLookingCouple. You’ll also look through the aisles, coming up with backstories for all the various objects people have donated over the years. Whether or not you actually buy something isn’t the point. You end the day with plenty of pictures and at least three inside jokes that will drive everyone else crazy.
Where he takes you: Crafting class
There’s been an emergence of cute crafting stores. Make your own bag, make your own candle, paint your own pottery, make a phone case, rug tufting, that kind of thing. Not only are they a cute and totally Magicamable couples activity, it also gives you both something to take home at the end of the day. Whichever you do, I can see you both making a craft for each other. Maybe you keep what you’re doing a secret until the end, filming your reactions when you reveal your crafts. If you pay close attention later on, you can catch him quietly admiring your gift.
Riddle:
Where you take him: Escape room
Back during the NRC Halloween event, when everyone was stuck in the ghost realm, Riddle had a ton of fun solving those puzzles. I think he would love an escape room, finding clues and undoing locks, using logic and guile to uncover the story. He might get frustrated at the harder puzzles, but it’s all worth it when you work together to solve everything. You get your picture taken together with a “We Escaped!” sign that you frame. It would be something unexpected but fun for the both of you. (TBH, I think he would love the Nancy Drew games. Maybe not the part where you keep breaking into people's things and stealing stuff, though.)
Where he takes you: High tea and window shopping
Riddle is going for a classic, something prim and proper for a prim and proper boy. I can see him reserving a table at a high class hotel for high tea, a table set with a beautiful porcelain teapot and a tower of tiny sandwiches and cakes. He’d order a bunch of different teas you could try. Afterwards, you would walk along the street, checking out shops and talking together. Bonus points if you both get to wear something fancy and cute.
Leona:
Where you take him: Picnic
Look, while having the title of Ramshackle Dorm Prefect sounds fancy, you don’t have a lot of extra cash. You would need to do something simple and cheap but still meeting Leona’s royal tastes (You can’t tell me this boy isn’t a picky eater.) Thanks to the Culinary Crucible, you have a few new skills to test out. You find a big blanket in some old trunk in Ranshakle and pack everything together in a cute wicker basket. Maybe you’ll eat in the gardens where Leona always takes naps or go out on the beach to watch the waves. You both end up falling asleep with full bellies. (Leona won’t admit it, but he feels like that was the best food he’s had in a long time.)
Where he takes you: River cruise with a fancy dinner
Leona is going to see your cute picnic date and immediately one ups it with a super fancy and elegant river cruise with a full five course meal. It’s on a beautiful private yacht sailing down a river in the Sunset Savannah. You’ll sit on the deck, candlelight table, while perfectly dressed waiters serve you. This would probably backfire on Leona, though, as you tease him for acting the most prince-ly you’ve ever seen him. Not that you don’t have a ton of fun. By the time dessert rolls around, you’ve both ditched the fancy setting and started skipping stones in the wake of the boat.
Jack:
Where you take him: Canoeing
Something relaxing and outdoorsy and fun. I’m thinking you’ll find someplace like the Ocklawaha River or Crystal River in Florida. A beautiful river with plenty of turtles and fish to spot, surrounded by lush forests or Everglades. If you’re more confident on the water, maybe you each can have a kayak, but I imagine something like you both share a boat. It would be fun to have a sort of eye-spy sheet, like who can spot the most turtles, identify fish, maybe catching sight of a manatee, and, wait, was that an alligator? You’ll end your journey at a natural spring. Dumping your stuff in the canoes, you’ll jump in and spend the rest of the day swimming in the cool water. Maybe you find a good vine or rope and swing out over the water.
Where he takes you: Zip Lining and high ropes course
More high energy and involved than a lazy day river trip, but it gives you two the chance to be close. I can almost guarantee Jack found out about the place you go to from Coach Vargas. You’ll get hooked up into harnesses and climb up to a vast network of bridges and ladders and obstacle courses hung between the trees like a giant athletic spiderweb. Maybe at one point you slip, and, although you’re perfectly safe with the harness system, Jack still lunges forward to catch you, blushing hard after as he realizes how close you too are.
Ruggie:
Where you take him: Food festival
I imagine something like the Plant City Strawberry Festival, the Wilton Blueberry Festival, or the Gilroy Garlic Festival. Heck, even throw in the Epcot Food and Wine Festival if you want to have another Disney reference. Something county fair-like with plenty of free samples. You’re not sure who convinced who, but at some point you end up getting those cheesy headbands with springs on top and plastic versions of food bobbing around your heads. There always seems to be sketchy fair rides at these things, too, so you definitely cling to each other going down a log flume ride, kind of regretting how much you ate beforehand. But that’s not going to stop you from chowing down after.
Where he takes you: Farmer’s market
Listen, if something is good at a farmer’s market, then you know it’s the best. The big ones not only have plenty of great food, but also local performers and plenty of fun extras to buy. Even if you don’t want to buy anything, it’s fun walking through the crowds and seeing all the different stands. You definitely get some super fancy ice cream, probably with some ridiculous flavors like lavender, parmesan, or licorice. Serving sizes always seem huge too, so you both definitely go home with plenty of leftovers. (You totally don’t notice that Ruggie has been paying with Leona’s credit card this whole time.)
Azul:
Where you take him: Game shop
One of Azul’s vignette stories has him practicing throwing dice so many times until he’s able to completely control what numbers will come up. Sure, he might be in the board game club for fun, but also because he likes to win. So a game shop that hosts weekly game nights would be perfect not only for him to show off and impress you, but also a cozy space to have fun and take the pressure off first date jitters. Whether you have a game with just the two of you or join in with other patrons there, you can team up to strategize and win. I personally think something like One Night Werewolf would be perfect. (He does feel bad when he accuses you of being the werewolf, though. Too bad he’s right.)
Where he takes you: Fancy restaurant
It’s nothing compared to the Monstro Lounge, of course, But Azul is putting his best foot forward with a classic first date spot. Azul plans everything down to the most minute detail. He double and triple checks the menu of where you’re going before you even leave to make sure there’s nothing you’re allergic to and there’s something you’ll like. He goes all out: flowers, pulling out your chair, getting a bottle of something fancy and expensive to drink (non-alcoholic if you prefer). Of course, the moment you start complimenting him he turns red and starts tumbling over his words. Maybe you lean into that, enjoying teasing him, the switch from having everything under control to a mess of complex emotions. Still, you slide your hand across the table taking his, and you both have a perfect night.
Jade:
Where you take him: Make your own tea blend shop
Jade is an experimental guy. I think if he wasn’t the founder of the mountain lovers club he probably would be in the science club just to mix together every kind of chemical just to see what happens. You would take him to a small tea shop, maybe in town on Sage’s Island or somewhere else through the mirror portal. You would pick out matching tea cups then choose different flavors and leaves from the jars of dried tea. You could make up little packets of different custom blends, some of them stuff you actually think would taste good, some that just sound interesting all together. You and Jade could trade and drink them together back at the Monstro Lounge.
Where he takes you: Mountain and cave hike
This is kind of a gimme, but I think he’d want to show off all his knowledge of local mountain flora and fauna. He’s the only member of his club, which gives you plenty of time to be alone together and use the club’s budget however you want. He would surprise you by showing you an undiscovered cave entrance. Hopefully it’s not the kind where you have to crawl on your belly to get in. I like imagining something like Ruby Falls in Tennessee. He’d bring you in, turn off his lantern, and crowds of bioluminescent mushrooms would glow around you.
Floyd:
Where you take him: Roller derby
You can’t tell me this boy would not absolutely love watching a bunch of people going super fast while trying to beat the hell out of each other. He would immediately pick a favorite team and buy all their merch. Even if it’s just a small local circuit he’ll make his own merch for the two of you to wear while you cheer them on. Floyd already likes shoes, specifically sneakers, so I think he would really like the idea of roller skating, going as fast on land as he can in the sea. Your next date will be at a roller rink.
Where he takes you: Laser tag
Similar to going to a roller derby, Floyd would love the energy and competition of laser tag. He’d be vaulting over the barriers and launching sneak attacks against other players. Maybe you two would team up and top the leaderboard or maybe he’d hunt you down in the glow-in-the-dark black-light game room. Afterwards you can catch your breath in the lobby and eat junk food. You’re not sure if you’re excited or nervous when he mentions paintball.
Kalim:
Where you take him: Hands-on science museum
Coming up with a first date idea to impress Buys-A-Restaurant-Chain-Because-You-Said-You-Liked-Their-Breadsticks-Once-Kalim is a little harrowing. Sure, you know he would like whatever you have planned, it’s the thought that counts, but that doesn't mean you don’t want to try and show off a little. You eventually find a hands-on science museum. Think the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia or the Tech Museum of Innovation in San Jose or even WonderWorks. It’s something that keeps you active, jumping from exhibit to exhibit to try out all kinds of new things while pretending you're learning. Sure, most of the other people there are kids, but that doesn't stop either of you from having fun. With Kalim’s experience with all his younger siblings, you soon have a small army helping you with the replica dinosaur dig site.
Where he takes you: Fused glass class
Kalim’s first instinct is to go big. Throw a parade, rent out a theme park, buy a private island. This little ball of sunshine is way too excited to think anything through. Maybe Jamil mentions that you might be intimidated by such an overwhelming show of wealth on a first date, or maybe he implies you need to work up to something that extravagant. Whatever the case, Kalim agrees to start small. He’ll take you to a stained glass shop that offers classes in Silk City. You’ll take a fused glass class together, where you take shards and rods of other colored glass, placing them gently together in a shape. The owners fire the final product leaving you with a beautiful hand-made ornament. Kalim hangs it by his window back in his dorm room, smiling whenever the light catches it. (He’s still thinking about that private island, though.)
Jamil:
Where you take him: Aviary
Jamil mentioned in one of his vignettes that he would want to own a parrot one day. So why not give it a test run with a variety of different parrot species, and throw in some parakeets, falcons, lorikeets, and canaries while we’re at it? You buy cups of food and the birds will fly down to perch on your arms and heads. The parrots, in colors ranging from green and yellow to blue and purple and red, show you how they dance and talk. There’s a game you can play with them where you hold up different objects and they’ll tell you what they are and what they’re made of. There’s even a falconry show where the birds swoop out into the audience. At the end of the day, the tour guide makes a joke about lovebirds that you both pretend to ignore.
(BTW, did you know President Andrew Jackson had a parrot that cursed so much it had to be removed from the room during his funeral because it kept swearing? The more you know.)
Where he takes you: Dance class
Mr. Jack Of All Trades, Master Of All over here is definitely going to want to show off. No matter who asked who out first, he wants to reassure you, and himself, that you made the right choice agreeing to go out with him. So he sticks with something he knows best, something he has fun with, and something he can easily introduce you too. Whether it’s a classic ballroom dance, salsa, or classic Scalding Sands folk dancing, Jamil just loves the chance to be close to you. It might be better if you have two left feet so he can show off leading you. By the end, you're both sweaty and exhausted, muscles aching pleasantly, but you're also both laughing and wondering if you should enter a couples dance competition.
Vil:
Where you take him: DIY spa night
Like I said before, you don’t exactly have a lot of extra cash, so I can see you relying on a lot of DIY tricks. You’re hoping to impress one of Twisted Wonderland's biggest triple threats with scented candles (bought half-off at Sam’s), homemade avocado hair masks, coconut oil and honey face masks, and a jade face roller and gua sha set you have no idea how to properly use. Vil definitely appreciates effort, so he’ll love whatever you have set up. He’ll even show you how to actually use that jade roller and gua sha.
Where he takes you: Private movie theater
Let’s be honest, Vil isn’t exactly the most humble person. And you, a magicless student with pretty much no frame of reference for any pop culture or just plain cultural insights in this new world, are in the perfect position for him to show off. Vil would rent out a private theater showing the best and most iconic movies in all of Twisted Wonderland. Of course, he also shows you all of his films (Like I said, not so humble). He may give you the side eye when you insist on sharing a bucket of buttery popcorn, but if you gasp and laugh and applaud in all the right places I don’t think he’ll mind.
Rook:
Where you take him: Art museum
Quelle beaute! No matter what kind of art museum you choose, modern, sculpture, impressionist, classical, whatever, Rook is sure to love it. He’d be the kind of person to carefully read each plaque to discover more about the artist and what inspired their work. He’ll praise each and every piece, only to turn around and compare it to your beauty. While this definitely will get you a few looks from some of the other visitors, you won’t mind because you know he’s being completely sincere with every word. At the end of the day, you’ll probably end up with an art book from the gift shop and you get each other prints of your favorite paintings.
Where he takes you: Zoo
You can take the boy out of the hunt but you can’t take the hunt out of the boy… Or something. We know Rook has a penchant for stalking the poor beastman students at NRC (I bet they have to warn the Savannahclaw first years every year), so I think he would also love admiring animals in a place where you’re actually suppose to watch them. Extra points if there are baby animals. Extra extra points if the zoo has one of those programs where you can go back and get close up encounters with some of the animals, like sloths or elephants. You both definitely get plushies of your favorite animals after.
Epel:
Where you take him: Motorcross
Give the farm boy blood. We know from his dorm uniform vignette that he can ride a blast cycle. Checking out a motorcross race or just a show exhibition would be a high energy outing for you both. Cheering in the stands gives him a chance to cut loose from the stricter rules of decorum in Pomefiore, and sometimes it’s just fun to watch things go fast with a chance of crashing. Maybe you can rent one, or borrow one from Ingenhyde back at NRC, and go for a drive. He’ll probably go a little too fast, maybe from nerves or excitement or just to have to hold him a little tighter.
Where he takes you: Ice skating
Do you know how to skate? Great! He’ll take you out to a frozen lake in the middle of a beautiful forest near Harveston. Some place only the locals know about. It’ll be something right off a Christmas card with glitter snow and a perfect clear blue sky. Don’t know how to skate? That’s fine too! You’ll go to an indoor rink, somewhere where the ice is guaranteed to be smooth and won’t crack under your feet. If you’re just learning, please hold on to him and let him teach you, it’ll make him feel super manly and swell with pride. No matter where you go, you both get hot apple cider after, maybe cuddling together in front of a warm fireplace and sharing a warm quilt.
Idia:
Where you take him: Cat cafe
You’re going to need a good excuse to get Idia out of his room, and this is a pretty good reason. Ideally, you would find a place like Tashirojima, the cat island in Japan, but a good old cat cafe will work just as well. You’ll find the least busy time to go which should help Idia’s social anxiety. But once you both settle into plush low chairs and get surrounded by cute kitties, he won’t even notice anyone else. The cafe sells cute frozen cat treats shaped like cat paws that you buy to encourage the cats to come closer. You snuck in some catnip, and you both spend the day enveloped in cute warm kitty cuddles.
Where he takes you: Video game night
The boy is a nervous wreck around other people on his best days, so when he decides to venture on a date he’s going to go with something he’s most comfortable with. You’ll camp out in his room for the date. He’s gone to great lengths to make it nice, plenty of snacks and soft pillows and blankets. He’ll introduce you to some of his favorite but entry level games first. Maybe something Animal Crossing adjacent, but I have a soft spot for point-and-click adventure puzzle games. Eventually, you’ll end up playing doubles on something more action oriented, Idia showing you all the best tricks and combo moves. (Ortho is secretly taking pictures to show at the wedding he’s already planning for you both.)
Sebek:
Where you take him: Salmon fishing and grill
You like it because it gives a chance to get out in nature and be alone together, he likes it because he gets to catch his favorite food and prove he can be a provider. Sure, it just might be a first date, but Sebek likes to think ahead and he’s definitely taking your budding relationship seriously. You two go out into the woods, probably near where Camp Vargus was held, and set up next to a river. While most of the day is hanging out on the bank and talking, there’s always a jolt of excitement when one of your lines starts to tug and you pull out a beautiful gray and pink salmon. Sure, there was that one time when the fish slapped Sebek with his fin until it slipped from his hands, but you both agree to forget about that (you don’t forget, in fact you think about it often). Around midday, you both realize you’re kind of squeamish when it comes to cleaning fish. Sebek puts on a brave face and cuts them up while you make a campfire. Is it the best meal you’ve ever had? No, definitely not. Are you picking fish bones out of your teeth for the rest of the evening? Yeah. Did you two have a ton of fun and are already planning your next date? Of course.
Where he takes you: Tournament
Does Twisted Wonderland have Renaissance fairs? Who knows, but considering Briar Valley still has knights, they definitely have tournaments. The Bead Brawl is sort of similar to what I’m thinking, but there’s more of a focus on what we would think of as traditional medieval events. Stuff like jousting, sword fighting in full armor, and archery. I don’t think you go all the way to the Briar Valley for this, it’s probably more of a smaller local fair with less serious competition. I think Sebek will be a spectator at this event, but that doesn't stop him from commenting on the participants. He tells you about his own training with Lilia and Silver. He’ll be boastful and loud, but you know him well enough at this point to tell he’s nervous under all the bravado. He wants to make sure you’re having a good time but is too stubborn to actually ask. There are definitely giant turkey legs, homemade soda and mead, and chimney cakes to stuff yourself with. He’ll enter a visitor competition, something fun and light like an obstacle course, and win you a prize. At the end of the day there will be a traditional dance at the fair and you both twirl together under lantern light.
Silver:
Where you take him: Bookstore date
Whether a big chain store or a cute local owned place, the idea is the same. First, you both find the cheesiest romance novel cover in the store. Next, you checked out the cook books, looking for the weirdest and worst sounding recipes (you joke about getting it for Lilia then laugh at the glare he gives you). Finally, you both choose a book for the other that you’ll read then reconvene to talk about at your next date. You find him an adventure book, something you would have called epic fantasy back in your world. He gets you a collection of well known fables and myths from across Twisted Wonderland. He’s slightly worried that you’ll be insulted in his reference to your lack of cultural knowledge of your new world, but you love it, especially the gorgeous illustrations for each story.
Where he takes you: Horse riding along the beach
This can go one of two ways, depending if you know how to ride a horse/are comfortable around them. If you know how to ride, Silver will borrow someone’s horse from the equestrian club for you to ride. If not, you’ll ride behind him, arms hugged around his middle as you cuddle close. Either way, you’ll ride down to one of the beaches along Sage’s Island. You’ll ride along the beach, darting in and out of the waves. Silver will probably have packed a small picnic that you can eat while watching the sunset. He ends up nodding off for a little while you take a break lounging on some dunes, but you kind of like him leaning on your shoulder like that.
Lillia:
Where you take him: Concert in the park
A few steps down from a full on festival, I’m imagining a lush green park, couples and families spread out on blankets, food trucks surrounding everything making the park smell amazing, maybe a couple of craft tents with knick-knacks for sale. There will be a large stage set up for the bands. Lilia prefers heavy metal, but I think he would like any show that plays something high energy. You’ll set up an umbrella to give you both some shade as you watch the acts. Lilia will regale you with tales of his travels and he’d probably love hearing about all the places in your world. At some point, you both definitely spend time dancing ridiculously. Lilia takes plenty of pictures to show off back at Disamonia.
Where he takes you: Esports competition
When Muscle Red told his online bestie Gloomamurai he was trying to come up with ideas for a date, the later said, “I got you,” and set him up with front row seats to the premier esports competition in all of Twisted Wonderland. Arriving at the indoor arena, you get a giant bucket of popcorn to share and Lilia buys you some merch of his favorite team. If you don’t know a ton about esports or the game they’re playing, Lilia will be more than happy to explain the rules to you. You’re surrounded in deafening cheers when your team makes a last minute score to win, hugging each other while jumping up and down. On the way back, Lilia promises to help you set up an account for the online game and teach you the ropes, while trying to remember to thank his friend when you kiss his cheek.
Malleus:
Where you take him: Mini-golfing
You can’t tell me it wouldn’t be adorable to see a giant Malleus hunched over a mini-golf club trying to gently tap the ball into a hole. I can see him at the first hole swinging like a normal golf course, sending the ball twinkling away, Team Rocket style. Mini-golf is a classic first date, and I think he would like the normality of it all. You’re not trying to super impress him, just treating him like a normal boyfriend, a normal date. And it gives you both more time to focus on each other, between desperately trying to hit the ball through the moving fan blades of the windmill hole.
Where he takes you: Historic castle ruins
I can imagine Malleus panicking at first about where to take you for your first official date. Does he bring you to a ball in the Briar Valley? A romantic opera in perfect box seats? Do you start picking out your engagement rings? Instead, he finally decided on an old reliable choice, harking back to how you both first started bonding in the first place. He finds beautiful old ruins, either in Briar Valley or somewhere else, and you just stroll and talk. He’ll tell you about the architecture, maybe the history of the location, pointing out whatever interesting gargoyles he spots. You both understand you don’t need grand gestures or impressive and expensive dates. You’re both happiest being with each other.
#wafflefriesfic#fanfic#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#first date#drabble#ace trapolla x reader#deuce spade x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie buchi x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil shoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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Naruto Boys genin discovering that reader is a girl?
Did this take me an insane amount of time to finally write? Yes. Have I been depressed and high? Also yes. Anyways!! Sorry I’ve been dead for 2 months, I’m back 😊 enjoy!
Genin Naruto Boys Discorving You’re a Girl
Includes: Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, and Rock Lee
Warning: some shadowing of misogyny/bad writing

Context: You are from a different village and are attending the chunin exam, you never disclosed your gender cause it wasn’t a huge deal to you, but pre puberty you were mistaken for a boy.
Naruto:
- he only found out cause you got kicked out of your motel room cause you had an arguement with the person who runs it
- You had befriended him when you first arrived and became friends as you thought he was funny (and kinda lonely.. and he followed you around and you felt bad)
- You had asked to stay at his apartment for just a couple days cause you were also mad at your teammates and sensei
- He had started to change in front of you and you shrieked for him to go to the bathroom
- He was dumbfounded, as it was normal for him to change in front of his guy friends
- When you started spewing out how it was inappropriate to change in front of the opposite gender his face was like a big “HUH”
- “But you’re a guy???”
- “No I’m not!”
- “Yes you are!”
- “I think I would know Naruto”
- His face is flushed and all he can do is let out a small “oh..”
- it was awkward for a couple minutes as he goes to the bathroom to change and when he comes back out he sits across from you on the floor
- As Naruto was as a genin, he was a bit insensitive and so so curious, he asked you a billion questions
- He didn’t really care that much, he still considered you a good friend and honestly was kinda happy you were a girl
- Admires you a whole bunch, considering how strong you were and that you were a girl and a girl and.. wow a girl, you’re a girl?
- Might develope a small (huge, majorly huge) crush on you
Sasuke
- hated that he admired you, you had saved him during the Forest portion of the Chunin exam
- You guys became somewhat friends outside the exam, and by friends I mean he had showed up where you were and kind of just lingered around like a creep
- Soon the lingering turned into small chit chat and then sparing with each other
- He had only found out you were a girl when he over heard your teammates talking about you
- He kept this information to himself, a bit astonished as he had just assumed you were a guy
- “So.. are you a girl?” He had asked mid spare, catching you off guard for a second
- “Yup”
- “Cool”
- And that’s how it went on the outside
- On the inside.. sasuke didn’t know how to feel, he was use to the girls in the village drooling all over him and here you were just his… friend? No weird intentions attached?
- It never was brought up again and Sasuke tried not to treat you lesser as he knew you could handle yourself
- But he did every so often stare intently at you, trying to find the “girl features”.
Shikamaru
- This know it all.. did not know
- Your dad was friends with his dad and you were staying with them for the duration of the chunin exam
- You and shikamaru haven’t met prior to this, via him not knowing your gender
- Obviously you guys become friends, as it was natural since he sees you everyday plus you were pretty funny
- You guys were walking around the village and you had asked to stop so you could use the bathroom
- When you started to walk into the women’s, he was shocked and grabbed at your arm to draw you back
- “That’s the girls?”
- “Yeah….?”
- He kinda just looked at you, taking in your confused expression and he let go of your arm and nodded
- “Oh..Kay..”
- when you came back out, you guys started walking again but you had realized the silence was much more awkward than it usually is
- “So… I’m a girl,” you explained, hands shoved in your pockets as you stared ahead
- He nodded, a bit upset with himself for never clueing in that you weren’t a boy
- How didn’t he know? He talked and saw you ever single day since you first arrived, he should’ve been the first to clue in
- “You don’t act like a girl, no offence,”
- “Sorry… I guess?”
- You guys just go back to your daily chit chat
- He will most definitely stay up late at night obsessing over how he didn’t know
- And also most definitely be intrigued and grow a teeny tiny crush on you…?
- Never brings it up though
Neji
- He had actually befriended your teammate first, your team and his team formed an alliance during the forest exam
- The boy genins were all planning on going to the offsprings and when he asked your teammates to tell you they brushed it off and said you won’t be going
- He got upset cause he thought they always threw you aside most of the time
- He had came up to you after your training session with your sensei and started talking about the offspring’s
- “Why are you… inviting me?”
- “Cause.. all the boys are going?”
- “I’m not a boy”
- All too formal Neji had his jaw to the floor
- He now realized why your teammates looked at him weird when he asked if you’d be coming to the offspring’s with them
- “Oh..that’s unfortunate..” he replied, stunned and embarrassed
- You kinda just gave him a weird look “me being a girl is unfortunate?”
- Cue Neji feeling overwhelmed and stupid and he’s just sputtering out non sense and just leaves
- He avoids you for a couple days
- Comes up to you and formally apologies
- both of you start to hang out and develop a friendship and every so often you tease him about mistakenig you for a boy
Rock Lee
- You had asked him to train you as you wanted to advance in Taijutsu (pretend he only got fucked up a lil during his fight with Gaara)
- The month leading up to the finals, you guys actually got along nicely
- You considered him one of your really good friends
- After a training session, you both went out to get some ice cream and were sitting on a bench just talking about random things
- Rock Lee started talking about Sakura and his big crush on her and asked if you liked anyone
- You had said you kinda found this boy intriguing
- He, completely innocent was like “okay! I didn’t know you swung that way,”
- “Wait what?”
- “Well you like the same gender…? it’s totally okay,”
- “I’m a girl,”
- Rock Lee just gave a awkward big smile as he looked at you and blinked
- “Wow!” He finally says after a couple minutes
- He goes back to eating his ice cream
- Is pretty much the chilliest out of the whole genin, he’s honestly good vibes all around
#naruto x reader#naruto#naruto uzumaki#shikamaru x reader#naruto headcanons#shikamaru nara#rock lee x reader#rock lee#neji hyuga x reader#neji x reader#neji hyuga#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha#sasuke headcanons
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Pineapples
12 Days of Christmas: Day 5, December 29th, 2024
BABYMONSTER’s Kawai Ruka x Male Reader
4.3k words
Christmas Masterlist

A/N: First Ruka fic?
—
“Bitch.”
The answer to how she got into your dorm room remains a puzzling mystery. There’s a security guard outside that won’t allow women to access the men's dorm. Still, any question here is thrown out of the window, with her jerking you off from behind like this, sliding her dexterous hand up and down in a languid motion. You’re shifting and shifting in her embrace on your own bed.
You were sure that the door was locked before you went out of your room this morning—tightly shut. She must’ve lock-picked her way into here. She always has a hairpin with her. You aren’t denying that it looks gorgeous on her, hot even. You could spend the whole day just staring at her with her hair tied up into a bun, topped off with the hairpin piercing through the center of the bunch.
Sure, it’s a little degrading for you to submit to her like this every time you meet. She’ll call you a bitch, a slut, a whore, anything that she could think of that day. You’ll call her by her name, on the condition that you avert her gaze. Still, there’s something to be enjoyed in this power dynamic.
It’s the thrill of submission.
She makes sure to swipe her thumb when her hand reaches the top of your cock. It’s for fun, she says. Of course, it’d be fun for her. You moan like a bitch every time she does that.
“You love having me jerking you off like this, don’t you?” she asks, her voice venomous, yet so magnetic. God, why is she so attractive?
You can only nod with a whimper, so clouded in the pleasure her hand is giving you. Indeed, it didn’t start slow. She ordered you to sit on the bed, pants off, shirt on (she said that it’d be a bit too cold for you). Your top is going to get all creased, with her pressing up against your back like this, but you couldn’t care less. You love the way she’s reducing you into her toy like this. You feel pliant. You feel obedient. You feel–comfortable.
“And don’t you dare fucking other women with this cock. It’s mine, only mine, understand?”
You nod again. Your hands are all limp from the pleasure coursing through your body. You are unable to move your body by a single inch, with her limbs placed meticulously to lock you in your place like this. Though, it’s like you’d resist, anyway.
Now, back to the beginning. You’d argue that it’s nothing short of rote. You two went over a year from being just a familiar face in your class, always walking past each other without much notice, until a fateful night at the bar.
—
“Ah!” you two exclaimed simultaneously. It seemed that you just crashed into each other. Your drink spilled from your glasses. They weren’t shattered yet, thankfully. Although, it left wet spots on your clothes.
“Sorry!” you apologized, shouting to fight the music.
“It’s fine! I’m sorry too!” she shouted back. God, the music was so loud there.
“Ruka! Right?”
“Yeah!” Ruka responded with a smile, taking a sip of whatever was left in the glass. “And you are?”
You told her your name, also taking a sip of whatever is left in the glass. She seemed to be happy about it. You two finally knew each other after a year of silence.
“So, uh, I should go back to my table now. My friends are waiting,” said Ruka, tilting her head slightly away from you.
“Oh, yeah, I should go back too. See you around, I guess?”
“See you around!”
—
The night rolled on until the bar closed. You and your friends left the bar, preparing to go back to your dorms, but not without your eyes meeting Ruka just on the outside.
“Hey!” Ruka shouted. Her walking was funny, judging from how she carried herself towards you that night. She was definitely drunk, but so did you. You could barely walk straight.
“Hi,” you said. Her friends were looking at you two, murmuring something to one another.
“Sooo~ we’re having an after-party at my placeee. Wanna joinnn?” she asked, intoxicated. Her breath was full of alcohol.
“Uhhh–” you glanced around at your friends, who seemed to have no opinion on it.
“Up to you, man,” Soobin said, shrugging. “I can go with you. It’s Saturday tomorrow.”
—
“Seven minutes in heaven doesn’t seem like a bad idea,” Pharita said, tilting the empty beer bottle in her hand.
The eight of you were inside Ruka’s room, on the floor, preparing to watch the bottle spin. It was somewhat large for a dorm room. Her parents were probably rich. It was clean and tidy, no stray strands of hair could be seen.
“You’ve cleaned the bathroom, right?” Asa asked.
“Just this morning.”
—
“I don’t think I’ve ever got to properly know you,” Ruka said. Her voice was low. The guys are probably eavesdropping from the outside. “We just kinda–”
“I get it, yeah,” you cut her words off with a smile. Your posture was reserved. You remembered you were leaning against the door that day.
Ruka smiled, before asking, “You like women, right? I mean–I don’t wanna assume.” Her expression was full of anxiety—eyes on the floor, tucking her hair behind her ear. She was probably afraid to offend you.
“Yeah, yeah,” you answer, chuckling.
The tension was thick, too thick. Your smile faded. You two kept averting each other’s eyes. There was apprehension within the situation. You gulped and gulped, playing with the hem of your shirt.
Boldly, she grabbed onto your collar, pulling your face closer to her, before she latched her lips onto yours. Her tongue invaded your mouth without any caution, and that made you melt into her embrace. Her lips tasted like alcohol, with a hint of rose on her. You were faltering.
And she pulled back.
“Never knew your lips taste this good,” Ruka said, wiping the saliva off her lips. She looked hot doing so.
You said nothing, only swallowing hard. You could feel blood rushing to the lower part of your body. It was aching. Your hands were trembling, letting out endless whimpers. You didn’t pay attention to her eyes enough to notice that they were gleaming with desire.
“Ooh~” she uttered, voice below a whisper, pressing your body against the door even harder. Her hands started to be where it shouldn’t. Her alcohol-filled breath invaded your personal space. It was uncomfortable, yet–there was something else in it. “You’re one of those guys, don’t you?”
Another whimper escaped you. You were trying to look away from her, too shy to look her in the sharp eyes. You could see her biting her lip in the corner of your eyes, so ready to take over your body. Fuck, she was so attractive doing that.
“What if I.” She grabbed your chin with her left hand softly, heightening the tension in this bathroom. Her breath remained steady, so unfazed by the whole situation. She was good at that.
Her right hand found its way onto the tent on your pants, squeezing your crotch gently. You let out a whimper under her touch. She seemed satisfied with that. She seemed satisfied with your unwavering submission.
“What a good boy for me,” she uttered, grabbing onto your collar tightly. Her voice was nothing short of dangerous. “You fucking love this, don’t you? You love being a bitch boy.”
You weren’t too sure how to answer the question, but there was probably some truth in it. You were revelling in the way she used you. You loved the way she takes control. You loved how she kisses you like that—invading your mouth like it is her property (it’s her property).
“Answer me, bitch,” she hissed, pushing you up against the door. You were tiptoeing on the ground. Fuck, she was strong. “Or I’m going to fucking edge you until you moan like one.”
You’d be dead if the door wasn’t thick, either would that be heard by the guys or breaking the door with her force.
“I–I love b–being a bitch boy, R–Ruka,” you answered, shaken. Her cat-like eyes were so alluring. They pierced through your heart like a bullet. You were in awe of her beauty, and a bit scared of it.
She laughed mischievously, enjoying the power she had over you. Her adept fingers were still giving your bulge squeezes after squeezes. You whimpered with each touch.
“Should’ve known that you’re a submissive little slut,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes upwards. “Now, if you’d kindly follow my instructions~”
You let out a whimper, too clouded within the expectation of her pleasuring you. You were exploring the ways that she could give you the feeling of utter divinity. Hand? Mouth? Thighs? Pene–
“Here’s what I’m going to do,” Ruka started, hands playing with the hem of your pants. You sucked a sudden. Her soft fingers felt so good on your slutty waist. A soft, airy moan left your lips.
“We have–” she looked at her watch, trying to estimate how many minutes you got. You wish you could just press her mouth down on your cock and get this over with, but that wasn’t how it worked, not when she was in control like that “–four minutes left.”
You nodded in response. Full-on penetration was probably out of the window. There were still a few choices for you to ponder on.
“I’ll suck you off. I’ll make it clean. Don’t moan too loud.” Three orders—direct, quick—and as you were processing the information, Ruka pulled your pants down quickly. Your lower body was left just in boxers. Your erection became more prominent than before. A loud moan left your lips. Good thing she managed to close your mouth in time. The guys didn’t hear that.
“I said, ‘Don’t moan too loud’, bitch,” Ruka sneered. “Do you want me to fucking edge you, huh?”
You shook your head with a whimper. She seemed to be satisfied with the answer. She had to be; there’s barely four minutes left. She couldn’t afford any more time wasted berating you.
In a quick motion, she pulled your boxers down, kneeling before you. Your erection was freed from the fabric cage that held you. She didn’t waste any more time judging the size of it. Instead, she dove right into enveloping her mouth around your cock, eyes closed. You could barely contain your moans.
She let out a satisfied hum around your cock. She was happy with your taste. You had to use your hands to cage the whimpers coming out.
Her mouth felt so warm, so wet, so tight. She bobbed her head back and forth adeptly, using her hands to help ramp up the intense pleasure you were feeling. She even went a mile further and started to hollow her cheeks, creating a suction on your cock. You couldn’t help but use all of your inhibition to not let out the loudest moan of your life. Thankfully, it came out as a quiet mewling.
She definitely loved your cock. Hell, she probably got addicted to it. You could feel that she was using all of herself on your cock, sucking on it in such an enthusiastic nature. She finally opened her eyes, looking up to see her bitch boy writhing in the pleasure she was giving to him. She let out a giggle at you.
Three minutes left.
She upped her ante, trying to milk your cock before time ran out. Her movements quickened, yet still deliberate. Her hands rubbed on your cock faster and faster, coaxing suppressed moans out of your mouth. That felt great.
You fell in love with her cat-like eyes. They were so magnetic that night. They pulled you into another realm that was beyond your comprehension. It was a place full of her, and only her.
She then ran her fingers along your lips, feeling the chapped texture of you. As if you knew, you opened your mouth, letting her plunge her fingers into your wet cavern. Her hand reeked of the earlier alcohol—mostly beer. There was a hint of sweat on it. She was addictive. She was like a fucking drug.
“Nngnn.”
You were sure that you were going to remember that forever—getting sucked off by your classmate in her bathroom while drooling on her fingers at the same time. Her one hand was caressing your cock adeptly. Her friends were trying to eavesdrop on the other side, and you were doing your best not to moan like a slut she wanted you to be.
Two minutes left.
Satisfied, drunken hums left your lips. You were revelling in the way she used you like her little fucktoy like this—her mouth on your cock, her fingers in your mouth. The taste of alcohol lingering on her digits filled your mouth. You fucking loved it.
She definitely had talent in sucking a cock. It was as if she had practiced a lot (it was a few guys and her wide variety of toys, she later told you). She created this suction around your cock that made you whimper like a common whore. The guys would’ve heard that if it weren’t her fingers inside your mouth (she argued later that a strap would’ve also worked).
Her fingers invaded your mouth with an unmatched dexterity, sweeping the insides of your mouth ever so masterfully. Your teeth grazed against her fingers. Her head bobbed back and forth, creating an absolutely vulgar image in front of you.
“Fuck, your cock taste good,” she uttered, muffled by your length. Her features were utterly wrecked by your hard cock. You can see tears running down her face, painting streaks of black marks on her cheeks.
It was peculiar, from strangers to something close to a fuck buddy in the span of a few hours. Those conversations in class weren’t going to be the same. The image of her mouth around your cock is going to be imprinted inside your mind forever.
One minute left.
You were doing your absolute best to contain the whimper out of your lips. The feeling was just too heavenly. You clenched your hand into a fist. The all-too-familiar feeling built up in your loins. Your breathing grows frantic. You were going to cum inside of Kawai Ruka’s mouth, with her friends on the other side of the door!
“Hhgnn.”
“Cum, bitch,” she ordered, her words muffled by your hardness.
“I–I’m trying,” you reply, trying to keep your voice below a whisper.
She upped the act into another ante, blowing your cock at a pace quicker than ever. She really wanted you do cum, didn’t she? Her fingers snake onto the rim of your asshole, sending a special kind of shock through your body.
“Fuck!”
Her fingers circle around your tightness. It feels great, being caressed in the ass like this. It feels like you’re her object, and that’s the feeling you absolutely love. Your hips jerk forward into her mouth. She gags a little, but it doesn’t stop her from neither sucking your cock in full force, nor your peak. You’re going to cum inside of Kawai Ruka’s mouth!
And all you could see was white. Your entire body jerked with pure pleasure. Your cock shot ropes of cum into her filthy mouth. Bliss coursed through your bloodstream to your entire frame. You couldn’t even stand straight. You painted the insides of her mouth, not leaving any corner untouched.
You twitched inside her violently, enveloped in her warm, wet cavern. The spurts grew softer and softer, from frantic shots to drizzles. You tried to suppress your moans with her finger, sucking on them harshly.
And just as you thought she’d spit it out in her sink, she swallowed, expressionless. It was splendidly obscene—the way she just drank your cum so damn easily. You remember that you could only gulp at the vulgar sight.
She pulled off of your spent cock. “Need more pineapples,” she said, licking her lips and making a pop sound with her dirty mouth. She’s clean—no trace of your nectar inside her mouth. Fuck.
She stood up, as her eyes were still bored into yours. She was examining your after-blowjob expressions like a predator watching its prey.
“Twenty seconds left. Put your fucking pants on,” she hissed. “Wouldn’t want the guys to know, would you?”
Hastily, you put on your pants. It was sloppy. It was even stuck on your knees at one point. Fuck, why is this so hard? Thankfully, it finally followed your hands up to your slim waist. You frantically buckled your belt for the final touch-up.
She wipes off the black marks on her cheeks. She has probably done it a few times before, because her face looks so damn clean after that.
Time’s up.
Ruka opened the door to the outside, wiping her mouth with her cuffs. You turned around, frozen under the gaze of the people in front of the doorway, still unable to make sense of what had just happened in the bathroom.
You saw Soobin giving you a knowing smirk. The others also probably know what’s up, but at that point, you just couldn’t care less. You just opened a whole new door with the help of Kawai Ruka.
—
She plants her teeth on the back of your neck, making you jolt in response. It’s a playful bite, you can feel it. There’s a lot to be processed right now, still—her hand on your cock, her body pressing up on you, her hot breath brushing against your neck. It feels too good.
“Nasty little slut,” she whispers into your ear. You moan again at the degrading word. You love it. You love the way she takes control over you like this. “Too bad I didn’t bring my strap here, or I’d be fucking your mouth with it.”
You say nothing, only moan. The air thickens with lust and the smell of sex. Ruka quickens her motion from behind you. Your moans are getting louder and louder. She loves this; she told you once. She loves her men moaning like a whore.
“Yeah, moan like that, you pathetic little bitch,” she growls. The demeaning words only serve to push you further into bliss. She then takes a soft bite on your earlobe, making you jolt in response.
“What a sensitive slut,” she continues. She won’t stop calling you these names, will she? Not that you don’t want that, though.
The tension starts to coil inside your muscles. Your eyes flutter. Your breathing becomes rapid. Your toes curl. You’re going to cum in the hands of Kawai Ruka!
“Aww~ gonna cum already?” she coos, her tone mocking. Her hand jerks you off even faster. The swipes on top of your cock aren’t there anymore, but the sensation of her hand rubbing you rapidly is more than enough.
You can’t answer anything but grunting and groaning at her mastery. The warmth of her body on you is comforting, yet so wicked in its own way. It completely engulfs you, making you completely hers.
“Cum in my hand then, bitch. Make a goddamn mess like the slut you are,” she keeps the insults coming in waves. You’re more than happy to welcome that, being reduced to her nasty little slut like this.
“Nghnn.”
Your dam breaks, your cock shoots out spurts and spurts of cum in her hand. Some land on your shirt, some land on her legs. Hell, some even land on your pretty face. She keeps jerking you off through your high, coaxing as much cum as possible out of your cock.
Successive spurts grow softer, from shots to small dribbles. Your cock is still twitching violently in the grip of her hand.
Eventually, your orgasm dies down. Droplets of cum rest on your cock idly. Trails of it can be seen running down, leaving viscous marks all over.
Ruka then scoops the remnants of your cum on your cock before sucking her fingers lewdly. You swallow hard. You can’t quite get used to the image of her drinking your nectar yet. She closes her eyes while doing so. God, what a sight.
“That’s enough pineapples,” she says, sucking on her fingers enthusiastically. The obscene sounds of it ring in your ear. She’s enjoying your taste.
“Want a taste?” She then offers her fingers to you, and you happily accept them. You suck on her fingers like a whore. You find out that you are really sweet today. That’s probably enough pineapples, as she said.
“I can buy you some more pineapples from my dorm if you want,” she says.
You nod, still sucking her fingers like a bitch, tasting the remnants of your own sweet flavor. You absolutely adore the way she’s using you like this, and you just wish you can stay like this forever.
Suddenly, she pulls her finger out of your needy mouth, leaving the taste of yourself lingering—sweet, intense.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she says with a giggle, before unlocking you from your restraint. You can finally move freely again, at the expense of her warm embrace. You let out a whimper in disappointment.
Ruka gets off of the bed. She gives you a hand, the messy one, with a smile. Your cum stains can still be seen on it. They haven’t dried off yet. You accept her hand before getting up from your bed.
“Thanks,” you say, before heading to your bathroom to clean yourself up.
—
The damage to you wasn’t that much, but you figure that maybe a shower is needed. It’s 10 p.m. already. You soak yourself in the warm water from the shower head above, cleaning the filth on you.
Suddenly, the door opens. It’s Ruka, all naked in the glory, hands on her waist. Her toned, muscular body is on full display. Her small breasts are sitting on her chest beautifully, so tantalizing to your touch. And her abs, god, her abs, it looks so attractive on her body.
“Can I join?” she asks, chuckling. You’re accepting her request, either way.
“Come on in.”
She then walks towards you. There’s seduction in the way she does it—the swaying of her hips, the finger bite, the languid pace, the sensuality. She’s looking straight into your eyes doing so. Your cock hardens again at the image of her.
Ruka lets out a laugh as she reaches you, catching you in her embrace. She feels warm, contradicting the insults (which you happily accepted) thrown at you. Her smile feels sincere under the warm water. She looks–gorgeous.
“So,” Ruka says, caressing your face. “I want to talk to you about something.”
You raise your eyebrow, intrigued by her words. “Uh huh?”
“I want to talk–” she lets the last words flow along with the running water. She goes silent for a while, trying to think of her next words. You nervously wait in anticipation “–about us.”
You do a double take, perplexed by the way this topic comes up like this. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” she continues, averting your eye contact. Both of you swallow hard, as she’s too apprehensive to say the next words.
“Wh–What about us?”
“I–” and she pauses. You wait, and you wait, and you wait. She keeps avoiding your eyes, hands still on your burning face. “–I want–more.”
“Oh.”
You guess it immediately. The concept of you two dating hasn’t been very far-fetched since that fateful night, but you’ve never thought she’d be the one to–
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and–I feel like–” she pauses again, looking elsewhere, trying to find comfort in the shampoo and body wash bottles around you, but she can’t let this go on forever. She has to say it “–I’ve fallen for you.”
Your eyes widen, unable to comprehend the words that were just coming out of her lips. You’ve never seen Ruka like this, so–raw, so–vulnerable. It’s so strange.
Still, you may have been feeling the same way about her. You know the way she smiles (she always closes her mouth when she does, as if she’s trying to suppress it). You know how she eats (she usually eats the vegetables in the dishes first). You know her favorite show (it’s Ally McBeal). You know, you know, you know.
“A–Are you okay with that, with–us?”
You open your mouth, but no words are coming out. It’s a difficult decision to make. You’re tying yourself to her if you say yes, but also–
You want to see that smile every day. You want to hear that laugh. You want to hear her call you a bitch. You want to go out and eat Neapolitan spaghetti with her. You want, you want, you want, you want.
You swallow hard, carefully choosing your next words.
“I–”
She looks into your eyes expectantly. Her grip on your face grows tighter, but that can’t compare to the feeling building up inside your heart.
“I think I like you too, Ruka.”
And with that, she pulls you into a kiss, a fervent one. It’s one filled with unspoken desires. Tongues battling for dominance. Hands roaming over each other’s body frantically, afraid of losing each other. You grind your body on hers, trying to feel her as much as you can. The bathroom is filled with your moans and the sound of water, and you couldn't be happier.
“Mmmph, just like that,” she says, her hands traveling down to your ass, giving your cheeks firm squeezes. You jolt in response to her touch, as she giggles softly into the kiss.
She then pulls back from the sensual, fiery kiss to catch her breath. Both of you are panting under the flowing water, fulfilled. You see her smiling with joy, before she laughs, and you can’t help but to do that along with her.
“Bitch.”
—
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Duke comes home one day from school looking down in the dumps and a bunch of paper work.
"Hey Duke, what's all that paper work for?" Dick asks from the couch as Duke sets the foot tall pile of papers on the coffee table.
"Oh you know, just, bullies making me do their work." The whole room freezes.
Bullies?
"Duke, you're being bullied?" Duke seems to realize his mistake of words. Instead of the excuse he made up to tell them about how he missed a lot of work because of Signal work, he said the truth which was the fact that he had bullies.
"Erm-"
"Duke, why didn't you tell us?" Dick nearly whines out, hurt his foster-brother didn't tell him about having bullies.
"No- guys, it's okay. Seriously. You don't have to do anything about it. Seriously." He eyes Bruce from where the man was about to type in *probably* the school's number to complain.
"Why not? We can deal with those punks for you. Are they being racist or some'n?" Jason crosses his arms, standing in front of Duke with a raised brow.
"A little. But seriously, it's nothing I can't handle."
Bruce rubs his temple.
"Are you sure? Are you sure you can handle this?"
"Yes."
"Thomas, just know, we can step in whenever." Duke turns a smile towards Damian, and places his hand on Cass's when she hugs him from behind.
"Hey- it's the weekend. Let me handle those papers since I've got nothing to do and I'm ban from case work." Tim says, holding his hand out.
"Uh- okay?" Duke hands him the stack, thinking nothing of it, because it's Tim.
Tim takes a look through the papers, scrunching his face a bit before shrugging, a smirk appearing on his face.
"Uh- should I be worried?" Tim looks at him and waves him off. "Nah, don't worry 'bout it. I got this handled."
Uh. Okay?
------------
The following Monday, Duke shows up and puts his stuff in his locker.
Or at least he was until it was slammed shut.
"Hey Thomas. Got our work?" Turning around, Duke faced his three bullies; seniors Clint Rodriguez (the "big dog" as he called himself) and his lackies, Arion Centry and Pete Swinez.
"N-No.."
"No? Where is it, bitch? I told you to have it done by Monday." Rodriguez held him up to the locker. "Oh you mean these papers?"
Turning around, there stood Timothy Drake-Wayne; two three time nepo-baby and the biggest reputation in the school. The real life Regina George and Heather Chandler. He was with his two best friends, also big popular kids and his two Gretchen Wieners, Karen Smith, and Heathers.
"Drake." The mere face of him made the trio seethe. "Hah! You should see your face right now. Anyways, I did your college essays for you, hope you enjoy them. Would be a shame if you had to repurchase the papers for them."
Tim tosses them in the air, and everyone watches as they all fall to the ground.
"What the hell did you do."
"Oh, ya know, the basics of what you should put. Also, this your girl?" A girl, a cheerleader, goes and slides herself under Tim's arm.
"Babe!?"
"Sorry, Clint, but I have a reputation, people can't know we dated. Also, Tim's better looking and a better kisser." Morgan Letto, another popular nepo-baby in Gotham High, turns and kisses Tim right in the hallway, before stalking off.
Tim's trio laughs at their faces.
"Hey! You should probably pick these up, ya know, since they have your names on them. Wouldn't want to get sent to the principles for littering the school. Bad reputation means you can't go to Princeton." Bernard says.
"Or Oxford, or Harvard. See ya losers!" Ives laughs along with Bernard and Tim as they walk through the halls.
As if a bomb dropped, the three seniors scramble to pick up hundreds of papers worth of applications.
" "I'm racist towards black people because they're below white people like me" " Someone reads off of one paper down the hall.
" "I use grades that aren't mine that I bully people into doing for me." " Another person reads nearby.
"Give me those!"
Duke is left standing there, struck by the scene that just unfolded before his eyes.
He didn't know what to say, do, or act.
Should he laugh? Play it off? Call Bruce? Or Tim? Or anyone? Get picked up?
It's fine. It's just one day. Right?
------------
Lunch time rolls around.
Duke is sitting at his table with his friends eating. They were prime targets for Clint and his group.
As if on cue, the three stride up.
"Hey Thomas, got Tim Drake to do your work for you, huh? Well guess what?"
He was spun around and picked up by the collar, his two friends being held back by Arion and Pete.
"You ain't getting away with it here." Clint grits out. Of course he chose the cafeteria, the pretty much only place teachers don't monitor 24/7 and is void of any supervision, even with every grade in there for lunch.
Clint set Duke down and lined his fist up ready to punch him. Duke flinched as the fist came swinging.
"Hey loser!"
Cheers and shocked 'Oooh!'s were heard from around. He squinted one eye open and saw food fall from Clint's red face and a tray in Tim's right hand.
"Woops! Sorry! Guess my hand slipped!" That got a laugh from the crowd. Tim set the tray down and pat Duke's should before stalking towards Clint.
Duke saw behind them at the far wall where everyone could see Ives and Bernard setting three trays of food down (The senior trio's trays).
"You'll pay for that, Drake!" Clint took a swing, which Tim dodged easily and side sweeped him onto his knees.
Ives and Bernard did the same to Arion and Pete.
The three took the seniors by the hair and dragged them to the trays the two laid out previously.
Cameras went up and Duke watched in muted awe and terror at what Tim was doing. Was Tim really like this when he still went to high school? He was a junior now and he dropped out sophomore year? Was he like this as a freshman?
The three pushed the seniors faces into the trays.
"Since you're the big dog maybe you should eat like a real dog then, bitch. Here's some kibble. Dogs enjoy this one!" Tim poured dog kibble onto Clint's tray, seeing as his face turns redder and shows more humiliation than he's ever seen on anyone.
"Eat it, bitch! Like the dog you are! Or start barking and begging for forgiveness!" Tim says it through his teeth in such a grueling tone it sends shivers down Duke's spine.
"Hey Arion! If you actually did your work, you'd know that your name is a horse in Greek Myth. So maybe you should neigh like one too! Neigh, neigh. Get to eating horsey! You should start prancing for the rodeo. Giddey'yup!" Ives mocks him pushing his head into the tray over and over.
"Swinez? More like Swine-ez! Oink-oink! You stink like a pig. And you're eating like one too! Ewwww! Disgusting. Hahahahhaha!" Bernard's name change made the whole cafeteria roar in laughter.
What made the laughter stronger was when the three brought out collars with leashes and attached them to it.
"Come boys! Start walking like the animals you are!" Tim called, pulling on Clint's leash, dragging him mostly until Clint got up and started crawling in front of him.
Everytime they tried to get up, the three juniors were behind them to push them down to the ground again.
Almost everyone was recording.
"Look everyone! Look at our new pets!" Ives called out.
"If you know any better, you three better keep your collars on. You should better than to make your owners mad!" Bernard barked out a laugh.
"I think, you guys should start speaking in woofs, neighs, and oinks from now on. Especially, when we make you ask forgiveness to those you bullied." Tim said, grabbing the collar and forcing Clint to look at Duke.
The bell rang, lucky for those three.
"Woops! Looks like the fun's over! You better clean up for mess! Wouldn't want to make the janitors work more." Tim walked off. "Or look like complete idiots with all that gunk on your face." Bernard said as he and Ives followed Tim.
------------
Later, when Duke got home, he was silent. Bruce was silent too, despite him being the one Duke expected to ask about the bullies since he slipped up and told them.
"Hey Duke, how was school? Did they mess with you again?" Dick asked.
He looked at him, then at the rest of his siblings, noting Tim wasn't there, swallowed and shook his head.
"N-Not really."
"Not really?" Jason looked confused, as did the rest of them.
Before Duke could explain more, Tim came in laughing, tossing his bag on a couch before hopping on Bruce's arm rest.
"Bruce! You won't believe what I did today." Bruce looked at him and smirked. Smirked.
Tim relayed the entire story of what he, Bernard, and Ives did to Clint, Arion, and Pete. Bruce looked proud and the rest looked shocked.
"My reputation still stands even after I've been gone a year!" Tim seemed very proud of that.
"Atta boy!" Bruce ruffled his hair. "Yes, here's the tray of cookies you were promised all to yourself, master Tim." Alfred handed him a whole plate of cookies. "Thank you!"
"What!?"
"Hold on! He gets a whole plate of cookies for that? Why isn't he in trouble!? When did you enroll back?" Jason was beyond furious.
"Tim had a reputation in school for being like that towards bullies. Which is why no one bullied anyone with him around. Guess they all came back when he was gone. Duke didn't want us doing anything, and he didn't expect Tim to do anything because you all think he's a goody two shoes, so I sent my calvary in." Bruce explained.
Tim laughed at their faces.
"Oh please! I'm just getting started with them! Just wait till the end of the week. Then! I'll be done with them and they won't ever come back to the school."
#dc#tim drake#tim drake headcanon#bamf tim drake#menace tim drake#unhinged tim drake#bully tim drake#reputation tim drake#tim drake had a reputation#tim drake is that bitch#tim drake is regina george#tim drake is heather chandler#duke thomas#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#cassandra cain#batfam#batfam headcanons#sebastian ives#bernard dowd
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The Realms PR | DC X DP Part 2
this isn’t as good in my thoughts because writing as bruce??? really hard. how am i supposed to write a paranoid man if i am the most chillest person i can be… anyway heres your part 2 food of this au, not sure if i’ll continue writing more parts? depends on how i feel.
errors are made and sorry the the lackluster performance this might be
if you want to use my prompt please give me credits thank you
☁️☁️☁️☁️
Danny very much prefers to have nobody intervene on his business as the vigilante of Amity Park. He’s essentially called dibs on it if you consider the fact that the entire town is basically his metaphorical grave since it’s his haunt and he did die to make the portal to the Ghost Zone open. He very much ignores that specific can of worms because that’s a heavy topic that he won’t ever talk about because Spectra really ruined his own outlook on professionals. Jazz will most likely want to open that can but that’s for future Danny.
Where was he? Oh yeah.
Danny very much likes being a solo hero with his friends and sister aiding when they can. He very much dislikes the fact that people have been trying to enter his haunt without permission. Does he know why people who tried to pass through Amity Park suddenly find themselves back at where the welcome sign is? No. Is he going to ask? Also no because it allows the residents and himself privacy even when he’s got the GIW on his tail or even his own parents.
He’s not going to rebuke this gift especially with his influx of fame. Which reminds Danny that he needs to post a new tweet, maybe a video of Cujo playing with the kids in the park from a few days ago? He figures people would be more interested if they knew a ghost dog existed. Maybe he can include one of Ember’s concerts or something.
Man he has so many videos to post and such little time to do so, but he thinks Sam and Tucker are having fun being his PR team with the way Sam had a manic gleam in her eyes when Lois Lane and Clark Kent sent her a message of twitter asking for an interview. All while Tucker basically going giddy at Red Robin and Oracle trying to get through the firewall that’s blocking Amity Park from eyes being too close for all their comforts.
Bruce Wayne stared intently at the video before him, it was only thirty seconds but it was thirty seconds enough to cause him to tighten his grip on the arm rests of his chair in the Batcave. His blue eyes staring down at the figure in the video as it replayed on loop. His shoulders tense and bunched up as he inhaled sharply at the frame that happened ten seconds in.
Because right there, staring up at the camera looked too much like Jason. It looked too much like his boy, his son that he had lost when Jason was only fifteen. Normally he would’ve brushed it off but it was the way that it then shifted into Dick, Steph, Tim and then Damian—
Ancient of Hope is what Phantom had called them, the embodiment of hope and how its form switched to what people believed in. Apparently it looked so much like the Robins of Gotham because Gotham was— is the biggest source of hope there is. Yet, this was an unknown.
Bruce couldn’t trust a word that Phantom said, ghosts are an unknown. Trying to get Constantine to talk about it was a struggle itself, the equivalent of trying to pull teeth out because the man was equally as stubborn as Bruce and it was even worse when the man had cursed up a storm when they had a meeting about Phantom’s first videos.
Ghosts are a variable in an equation that Bruce is trying to solve but he simply can’t force his way into solving it, not when this whole thing has turned into a diplomatic nightmare with the fact that Oa has started pressuring the US government about the mistreatment of the Infinite Realms beings.
The Justice League Dark even adding in the pressure— Deadman being one of the more outspoken members as he explained as much as he knew about the Infinite Realms despite not quite qualifying as one of their residents but still considered as one in an odd way. Constantine grumbling about as he came and went, saying how the Ghost Investigation Ward could’ve started a war or destroyed everyone.
Clark and Lane were writing up articles, having conversations with the PR Team of Phantom— two teenagers who were involved heavily and considered ambassadors to the Realms because of their connection to Phantom.
Phantom who is the High King. Phantom who doesn’t want his subjects hunted anymore and took a peaceful route instead of simply declaring war.
Bruce takes a heavier breath, jaw clenched as he watched the video loop one more time before the closed the tab to look more into the GIW and their backers, eyes narrowing in two names.
Vladimir Masters and Lex Luthor.
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dc comics#dc universe#dc x dp#dc x dp au#dc x dp crossover#dc x dp prompt#dcu#famous danny fenton#the realms pr au#dp socmed au#dc socmed au#batman#bruce wayne#dpxdc
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Became curious based on a Smaugust piece: What are your thoughts on everyone's favorite royal suck-up, Pike? (also ofc compliments to your writing and art)
Surprise, I am still kicking. And thus my Sisyphean quest to answer all the questions in my inbox continues.
I like Pike. I used to think moderately favorably of him, but pondering this question and then drawing a bunch of pictures of and about him made me realize that, yeah, I am rather fond of him. He is funny and cute in the same way a small, yappy dog is.
I remember once talking to my partner about Pike and I asked: "Do you think the JMA staff has to deal with Pike constantly trying to sleep in the hallway in front of Anemone's room?" Only to then realize, upon re-reading the books, that this actually happens in canon. I was thrilled.
Most of the time when people ask me what I think of a character, they want to hear what my take on them is, so I'll get into that.
Background
I don't think a lot is known about Pike's life, outside him having been assigned as Anemone's (questionably) covert bodyguard. He is one of those background characters that fill out the student roster at JMA but don't get a lot of development, though he is one of the more lucky ones as he gets comparatively more lines and scenes than, say, Barracuda, or Garnet.
We don't ever hear about his home life or familial situation, but I think he comes from a common military family. Not a particularly prestigious one, but rather one of middling significance. I imagine one of his ancestors--like his great grandmother--once made it to captain and ever since the whole family has prided themselves on their military legacy and loyalty to the Seawing throne, even though nobody else really knows who they are.
Pike's parents are both bottom rung palace guards; trusted enough to be stationed vaguely near the seat of government over a remote outpost, but nothing more. As is tradition in their family, they signed up as soon as they were old enough to hold a trident. Pike was expected to follow in their footsteps, and so did the same. He is naturally eager to please, doesn't ask many questions, and knows how to follow orders, so he took to this life relatively well.
One thing immediately apparent when observing Pike is that he is very blunt, headstrong, and reckless. He is prone to self-injury and mishaps, routinely making a tail end of himself during exercises. One day, I imagine, he was out in the courtyard, practicing his combat maneuvers, when he somehow managed to trap himself underneath a training dummy in a humiliating way. Unbeknownst to him, the Queen and Princess were walking past a window overlooking this scene, and the latter happened to spot him.
Princess Anemone, starved for normal social contact due to being permanently leashed to her overbearing mother, immediately took a liking to the clumsy guard and wished to take Pike into her service. The Queen though, hated the idea. Anything she couldn't control with 100% certainty was not to be let near her only living daughter. She didn't even let her own sons approach the Princess for this very reason. So she refused.
But Anemone, sensing an opportunity to finally snatch a tiny mote of control over her own life, didn't relent. She would never overtly defy her mother, but pushed back against her in the most passively aggressive way she could muster. She WOULD have this one thing that was hers, no matter how many times she had to sigh wistfully or forget to eat.
Coral meanwhile still disliked the idea, but after some pondering figured this could work to her advantage. Granting her daughter this favor would make her grateful, and thus easier to keep in check. It was not like the boy would be able to do anything undesirable since she would always be there to watch anyway. And if he ever displeased her, a random guard was easier to dispose of without turning heads, than if she let Anemone play with one of her brothers.
So eventually, she acquiesced, and extracted Pike from the palace guard to assign him to her daughter's protection.
The news hit Pike's family like lightning. Suddenly, after decades of being nobodies with delusions of grandeur, the whole palace was paying genuine attention to them, and the new recruit who, overnight, got assigned to be the Princess' personal retainer. Pike's parents took him aside and impressed on him how important of a task this was. If he did his job well and kept the Princess content and safe, not only would the current Queen think favorably of all of them, but Anemone would remember his service and reward him once she took the throne herself. For his sake and theirs, this was an opportunity not to be squandered.
And thus, Pike shouldered this great responsibility suddenly thrust onto his wings and embraced being Anemone's personal servant and protector. Pushed forward by his sense of honor and loyalty, a desire not to disappoint his family, and the knowledge that, if he were to fail and lose the only heir, Queen Coral would surely kill him.
Day-to-day life
Pike takes his duty very seriously, both out of loyalty to his liege, and because of how much is at stake for him personally. I picture him getting up during the small hours each morning and beginning his daily exercise routine, to stay in shape for his job. His roommate Flame often wakes up to him noisily doing squats in the middle of the sleeping cave and yells at him. "Am I cursed to be tormented by a diminutive idiot Seawing wherever I go!??!" Pike is lucky that his other roommate, Bigtail, is a heavy sleeper. Otherwise the training session would likely be cut short, with Pike tied to the ceiling lamp.
After wrecking Flame's sleep, Pike usually seeks out Anemone and attempts to stay near her at all times. Initially this caused friction between him and the teachers, as he would often skip his own classes to attend Anemone's. He only stopped doing this when Tsunami made it clear skipping classes would get him sent home, and thus away from Anemone permanently.
As they spent time at the Academy, the Princess began to get better and better at giving Pike the slip whenever she got fed up with his overprotectiveness. He freaks out whenever she vanishes, which is often. To help manage his stress, the JMA staff make him attend regular seminars on inner peace and meditation hosted by Fatespeaker. He is not very good at it, but enjoys the exercises that involve listening to running water.
He began to mellow out for a bit after initial growing pains, until the History cave incident occurred. The bombing shook him back into the bodyguard mindset and he began sleeping in the hallway outside of Anemone's sleeping cave. It weirds out Ostrich whenever she has to climb over him. Attempts to get him to stop this have been unfruitful. The current policy seems to be to let him do this until things calm down and he stops on his own.
Anything else
I believe Pike may have a thing for Rainwings. He is generally hyper-aggressive and rude towards everyone he talks to, with two notable exceptions. One of them is Anemone, whom he is sworn to serve and keep safe. The other is Tamarin, whom he is uncharacteristically kind to. My personal impression is that he may have a bit of a crush on her, but keeps himself from pursuing it as to not upset Anemone.
To my knowledge, Pike never really interacts with Turtle. That is a shame, because I would like to know how they would get along. Pike may be greatly disappointed at Turtle's general un-regal-ness, but still begrudgingly respect him out of obligation. I can picture a scene where he berates Turtle for his demeanor, only for someone else to chime in with an affirmative "Yeah Turtle, you suck", upon which Pike turns around and starts ripping into them about disrespecting Seawing royalty.
Concerningly, Pike's future is very uncertain. He is actually in grave danger right now. If Queen Coral ever finds out that he allowed a murderous, seawing-hating ancient wizard to abduct Anemone, she will have some opinions on that. If Coral has one consistent character trait, it is homicidal vengefulness against anyone who fails to protect her children, regardless of circumstance, regardless even if the perpetrator IS one of her children. That means there is a very real chance she will recall Pike from Jade Mountain and try to tear him apart.
I don't think Anemone would allow this to happen, mind you. She has been privy to her mother dragging poor sods out to the plaza to rip their teeth out, enough to recognize the signs of it coming. If she suspected Pike's life was in danger, I believe she would prevent him from leaving.
For now though, he remains at Jade Mountain, doing the best he can with the responsibility he was dealt, acting as Princess Anemone's retainer. It is a difficult, stressful, at times thankless job, but he would not have it any other way.
"Honor, and duty."
#wings of fire#dragon#wof#digital art#wof art#flawseer art#flawseer reply#flawseer talk#wof pike#wof anemone#wof coral#wof seawing#wof headcanon
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i dont know if you still accept harumasa requests but, hear me out on swatching lipstick colors and then give harumasa bunch of kisses on his face while leaving bunch of colorful marks
Harumasa x Fem! Reader
Warning: slightly suggestive,fluff and lots of kissing. Not proofread
Note: i see what you did there and now you are responsible for what's about to happen anon/j. I'm not gonna ignore how the docs tried to correct my snacks to snakes like buddy you sure that is it? I post in the middle of the night like I got some rent due ( I don't even live in a rented house) but anyways i really wanna kiss this man XOXO



He was lazing around on his desk when he heard footsteps enter the office. The footsteps didn't bother him but the sound of sweet laughter surely did. He knows that voice by heart it was you. He quickly looked up to see you walking in the office with yanagi while holding two bags.(Confused puppy mode activated)
He glanced at the brand name and understood it was some cosmetic after all yanagi promised to take you on a shopping spree today. How could he forget? She got to her desk which was in front of him happily greeting him.
“Oh well morning to you harumasa, were you sleeping?” he yawned, stretching back and giving her a lazy smile genuinely feeling happy seeing her first thing after his nap, he peeked into the bag asking. “Well hello there beautiful where ya been?” she was about to answer but got interrupted by soukaku who ran around in circles around her.
“Oh oh oh?! What's in those bags! Is it snacks!” they asked, feeling enthusiastic as ever. “Well not quite but I do have snacks for you, oh and also give this calligraphy brush to miyabi for me please?” She said while handing Soukaku one of the bags from the desk which the oni happily took and ran away then she turned towards a pouting harumasa. “How could you forget about your own boyfriend, I see this is it for me, you don't want me anymore” he said while leaning back on his seat dramatically. She glared at him. “ Of course I'll never forget about my lovely partner, it would be disastrous. Stop being dramatic, I am sure you can wait a little more” she said while turning towards the bangboo who was offering her some papers. He looked at her confused. “What do you mean wait? What are you trying to give? Hello?? Am I being ignored?” She silently collected the papers and went to give them to yanagi. After a long day's work they were walking back home. He was thankful he escaped yanagi’s overtime today after skipping through paperwork.
He walked beside her holding her hand.
He turned to her and asked “ sure you wanna stay over?”
“You don't want me to?”She asked while masking her face with sadness.
“Wait wait wait wait do not attack me like that i would never say no to you!” He said rasing his hands up , she then smiled. “ Well there is no problem” she said happily entering his room as he followed after her closing the room.
“My do you not live in here or something” she said looking around.
“Well i warned you” everything was organised as if someone hasn't visited for two days because of the hospital appointments. She put her bag down and took out a box. “Guess what i have”
He looked at the box “a lipstick pack? Woha that's a whole set” he said while removing his bandana and falling in the bed while she opened the box while humming a tune besides him.” Would you choose a colour for me?” She looked up at him smiling and showing him the box. He thought for a while before picking on the lighter side. She picked the one he choose and tried it on. “Hmm does this look any good?”
Which he replied to “ of course duh i don't think you need it tho” she glanced at him across the mirror. “ I think i have another way to test it” he tilted his head then suddenly she pulled him into a kiss. His hands around her waist while she was on his lap. She broke the kiss and looked at the Mark around his lips.
“Well this colour is too light lemme try another” she said picking out a darker shade then kissing him on his cheek leaving another mark. It's been about 5 mins and 10 different shades with more 10 to go and his face and neck covered in different lipstick marks with his shirt buttons undone. “Hmm I can't find the one I like, you must be bored by now”
He shaked his head sideways and whispering in a low husky voice. “Go on.” She leaned in again leave new marks over his lips and collarbones.
Don't blame him if he sleeps in your arms this will the most peaceful he has ever been. Well he won't blame you either if the marks don't wash off with just water in the morning. He might try to get a sick leave. More like love sick leave.
#zzz harumasa#harumasa asaba x reader#harumasa zzz#asaba harumasa#harumasa x reader#zzz x reader#zzzero#zzz#zenless zone zero headcanons#zenless zone zero x reader#zenless zone zero
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the car broke down by the denny's where you used to work and therefore could never return to. i am trying to pick out the satisfying parts of my life, one-by-one, like i am 12 and in a frog dissection. everything in my life all viscera and formaldehyde. if i can sort the good things from the bad things, i will have a nice clean pile.
i call you and make it sound like i am happy and hangin' in there! when really i am kicking a rock and i am outside without a jacket and i am so in love with you it makes the little bones in my ear shake. someone called my tinnitus an angel choir. i like that it means i carry the echo of every concert.
this isn't the right setting for love. this is a roadside, and a denny's, and i am nauseous and ashamed i never escaped the town where i grew up. the clouds here are this strange yellow, like spilled sour milk. "someone once told me that the orange coating on the teeth of a beaver is due to the particularly high rate of iron in their enamel," i tell you. "the beaver is the largest rodent native to north america."
your voice is crackly on the other end. i'm going into a garage soon, i might lose you.
what i should be doing is calling the tow truck and explaining that my brother's car (that i'm borrowing) (that i broke now, i guess) needs to be lifted by another, bigger, stronger car (which is love too, i guess).
i shouldn't say so much. i should wait, and let you ask about my mom, and ask if i ever got over that cold, or how it's going at work. i should let you lead the conversation, for once, so the love doesn't leak out of me into the gravel. i open my mouth anyway. "if you had to choose between being a beaver with very few trees or being a tree around a bunch of beavers, which would it be?"
i don't know. your voice always has this warm cast to it when you talk to me, but maybe i am just imagining that - i am a poet, though, so i imagine things sort of chronically. through the static, you sound like you're laughing. are you the beaver?
i know, like, logically, not to fall in love with a girl-that-is-your-best-friend. like, who would i even call if we broke up? you're my best friend, you're the person i'd want to speak to. so what if these last few months we keep sleeping over at each other's houses, calling each other for hours, sending each other poems. so what if you keep wrapping your fingers into mine. no best friends. that is the first rule. what you are supposed to do in that situation is leave the situation.
but my car broke down, so. where exactly am i going to go? the car is a very-old chevvy and also where i almost-but-not-quite kissed you after you'd raised one shoulder and looked up at me and said i don't know, i think i'm straight, but for the right person - i'd try anything. the music had been good and it had been raining and your thick eyelashes had made me feel god crawling up my throat like a spider. and i didn't kiss you, because i am a coward.
anyway on the chevy the whole exhaust pipe fell out, and is now scraping on the ground like one silver finger stroking the back of the highway. recently we were watching netflix in my bed and you pushed my hair back from my face like you were making the slowest, most desperate prayer, and then your boyfriend called. i remember us both jumping. i couldn't look at you in the eyes for like a week after. i kept feeling the heat of your fingerprint; computer science, you'd unlocked something dark in me.
google says the closest tow (joe's pick up) is 50 minutes away and also closed permanently. so that's not great. you live in another state and i should be calling my insurance company. i should be calling anybody else. this is not helping. i need an uber. i need to get moving. instead i say: "i need three words for a poem."
yesterday i said love you, goodnight after our 2 hour call like always and then you just, like. paused. all i could hear was your breathing. and then you'd said what a pretty three-word poem. i love you too, sweet thing. the words made my tinnitus act up again, and i must have some kind of synesthesia, because the sound travelled into my mind until it became the shape wedding rings.
orange, you say. the static is now chewing through most of your words and i only catch - borrowing the chevy -
the call dies. i have 12% battery. i never get the 3rd word, but i know you're still going to get a poem from me. actually this rest stop is kind of pretty, and so is the exhaust pipe, and so is joe's pick up, and so are the clouds. the light here is the color of a glue trap. before you worked at the denny's, we used to get milkshakes every wednesday and called it a friend date. you said you'd wanted to work there because it reminded you of me.
the sign's gone dim. the letters now spell out deny. and isn't that something.
#spilled ink#ty nat#ps if anyone wants to send me money for a car. you'll never guess what happened :')
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𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌-𝐔𝐏


summary: when you forget to bring your jacket, an unlikely hero comes to your rescue; is there more to his chivalrous action than meets the eye?
pairing: kaiser x gn! reader
warnings: fluff, kaiser being kaiser; i’m still on hiatus but i have to free this idea from my mind or it won’t let me go, also i thought it was super fun when they spoke german in the manga so here we are
blue lock masterlist

“Is it me or is it chillier than normal in here?” You asked, rubbing your palms over your goosebump-ridden arms. As an assistant manager, you’d been next to the pitch more often than you could count, but on this day it seemed like someone turned up the AC.
“Hm, dunno. Seems normal to me,” Kurona said after contemplating for a few seconds. “You’re not getting sick, are you?”
“I don’t feel like it, no,” you wondered aloud as you watched the Bastard München and FC Barcha players walk onto the court. As much as you’d hate to miss the beginning of the Neo Egoist League, perhaps you should make the track back to your room. “I think I’ll go grab my jacket—“
Your sentence was cut off by fabric covering your head, making you flinch in the sudden darkness.
“Hier, nimm meine. (Here, take mine.)” A voice that had quickly become familiar since the foreign teams were introduced passed by and when you lifted the front of the jacket, you found none other than Michael Kaiser in your field of view. As usual, he was looking rather smug for no reason whatsoever.
Still, he was one of the last people you’d expect to help you out, so the raise of your eyebrow was somewhat inevitable.
“Versteh mich nicht falsch, (Don’t get me wrong,)” he continued, cerulean eyes trained on you, “ich mach das nur, dass du von Anfang an zusehen kannst, wie ich Blue Lock vernichte. (I’m only doing this so you can watch from the beginning as I crush Blue Lock.)
“Und da ich sowieso nicht auf die Bank gehöre, macht’s mir nichts aus, wenn jemand meine Jacke aufwärmt. (Also, since I won't be benched anyway, I don’t mind having someone warm up my jacket for me.)” And with that, he sauntered off towards the centre of the field, the self-satisfied grin still tugging on his lips.
“He’s such a jackass,” Raichi scoffed, his jaw locked and a vein protruding from his neck. “Now I wanna play even more, just so I can teach him a lesson.”
“Now now, let’s not get hasty,” you chuckled, holding the Bastard München jacket in your hands. “As much as I understand where you’re coming from, I don’t think it’s a good idea to pick a fight with our guests on the first match day.”
The fact that you knew about the auction system and livestream you’d keep hidden for now.
“While I really don’t like the guy,” Kurona cut in before Raichi could add anything else, “I still think you should wear the jacket. It won’t do anyone any good if you really get sick. You can still go get yours after the match.”
“As much as I hate to admit it, I agree,” Isagi sighed next to him. “It is probably for the best.”
“Fine, fine,” you mumbled, sliding your arms through the comfortable sleeves of Kaiser’s jacket, bunching it up at your wrists so it wouldn’t cover your fingers.
And with that, the whistle signalled the start of the match.
To no one’s surprise, the match was shaping up to be a great one from the start, the quality and speed of the plays upped significantly with the inclusion of the top league players. Though, for some reason or another, you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from München’s number 10, the same number currently decorating your back.
You knew Kaiser was good, considering he was hailed as a prodigy for the New Generation World XI. And yet, seeing him play was a whole different experience from watching the tapes. From his superb ball control to his efficient movements and precise awareness of the field, all culminating in a lightning fast Kaiser Impact, he basically demanded your attention to be on him.
So when his gaze crossed yours after scoring a goal, you felt like you were getting caught red handed by the amused crease of his eyes. With the way heat shot up your body in embarrassment, you might not have needed his jacket anymore.
By the end of the match, your brain felt as tired as if you had played yourself, trying to keep up with the new level to which football at Blue Lock had been raised. Subsequently, you zoned out for most of Ego’s explanation of the auction system, only to zone back in as Kaiser’s 300 million Yen bid was displayed for everyone to see. And while you swallowed hard at that number, the striker in question seemed rather unfazed.
Instead, he sauntered over to where you were standing, still wearing his jacket. You were halfway out of the garment already when he came to a halt in front of you, his long fingers tangling in the fabric to keep it wrapped around your shoulders.
“Hast du nicht gesagt, dir ist kalt? (Didn’t you say you were cold?)” He asked, blue eyes sparkling down at you with an unreadable expression. “Behalt sie an. Zumindest bis du deine eigene holst. (Keep it on. At least until you get your own.)”
“What? No!” You protested, further trying to shrug off the jacket. Despite shoving it back down to where it came from, a small part of you agreed with him, not wanting to give it back quite yet. “You need it more than I do!”
“Hm? Es ist süß, dass du dich um mich sorgst, (It’s cute that you’re worried about me),” he teased, amusement written all over his face, “aber es ist wirklich unnötig. (but, really, it’s unnecessary.)”
“Absolutely not! If you get sick because of me, I’ll never hear the end of it,” you groaned, finally wrestling yourself out of his jacket and shoving it in his arms. “So just take the damn jacket, Kaiser.”
“Nenn mich einfach Michael, okay?) Just call me Michael, alright?)” One finger tilted up your chin, so you wouldn’t avoid meeting his gaze any longer. “Immerhin kennen wir uns gut genug, dass du dir meine Jacke leihst. (After all, we’re close enough for you to borrow my jacket.)”
“Whatever you’re trying to play here, cut it out!” Before he could have a chance to feel the heat rising to your cheeks, you whirled around to make a swift exit and get your thoughts in order again.
In that moment, you were so distracted by the blond, you’d forgotten the whole world could see you wearing his name on your back. You’d later be reminded of it when seeing comments flooding social media, cooing about the gesture or speculating about your relationship with one another. But that was still far from your mind at present, which was still trying to figure out his reasons for behaving like he did.
Meanwhile Kaiser, who watched you retreat into Blue Lock’s hallways, couldn’t stop the smile from tugging at his lips. Perhaps someone here was worthy of devoting his time to after all.
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Rated R Video
Summary: You and Matt are dating and was invited to do the newest Rated R car video where Nick, Matt, Chris, and Yourself talk about the things you all have been avoiding being in the public eyes..
Warnings: Cursing, use of Y/N, suggestive (i think)? talking ab sexual topics! (lmk if i missed anything)
A/N: the first part of this story will be fluff/suggestive? also this is my first attempt at writing anything so be kind pls :)
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Me and matt have been dating for about 2 years as of last month, so within those two years of dating we’ve had sex.. a LOT… in the van, the house, the shower.. you get the idea.. but when matt asked me to join the new ‘Sturniolos @ Nite” video where they explored sexual topics they have been avoiding since being in the public eyes of COURSE i indeed had to say yes.
the boys and i were setting up for the video, matt in the driver seat, nick in his assigned seat behind matt chris wanted my seat in the car (the passenger seat) i objected HIGHLY “Christopher do you really wanna sit next to matt while he’s talking about OUR sex life?” i snapped at chris “Well Y/N this” he said while pointing at the passenger side “happens to be the seat i sit in while we film EVERY car video so” chris stood outside the car door standing while pointing at the leather seat we’re arguing over. while our bickering continues matt rolls his eyes and before he has a moment to speak nick yells across the car “Chris sit your ass down and pipe down, you’ll be fine for one video specially when the topic is sex so let’s just sit down and shut up” chris looks at me with an annoyed expression on his face and i look at him and jus smile as i sit next to my boyfriend matt and smile matt returns the smile before clicking the red button on the camera and adjusts the camera so we’re all in it.
nick immediately, getting too excited to sit still starts the intro of the video.
“AS you can see, we have a VERY special guest today for the first time in years-“ i stop him “Nick it’s been a month since i was in a video” i chuckle. nick smiles “ANYWAYS before i was rudely interrupted.. we have matt’s future wife, the mother of my future niece’s or nephews.. Y/N!!” i smile awkwardly at the camera and sent a slight wave. “NOW LETS GET HORNY” nick says just a little too excited to explore a new side of the triplets no one has seen before. matt chuckles softly as he speak with a little giggle in his voice “im not sure if thats how we should start this whole video” i smile at his words awkwardly as if im not about to expose to 6 million people what me and matt do behind every closed door, nick and chris have gotten used to hearing me and matt because of the amount of times we’ve tried doing anything remotely sexual at the house.
“so for the first question,” nick starts “what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex at” chris chimes in “bathroom of Target” mine and nicks eyes widen and look at each other, i slowly turn my head back to face chris “t-target?” i stutter in disbelief. he smiles and nods, i press my lips together and look at matt waiting for him to answer.. the silence fills up the car before i get bold “I have to say in the back of the movie theater” matt’s face turns red and he looks down smiling before nick yells “UMMM Y/N?! MATTHEW??” i smile and turn my face to nick “you told us honesty for this video so im being honest nicolas” we all bust into laughter before matt speaks up and says “my answer to the question is the same as uh Y/N” nick scoffs playfully before asking the next one “this one is a bit more Juicy” as he shimmy’s his shoulders “what’s your deepest darkest sexual fantasy” he continues. my eyes immediately widen, in the bunch of times matt and i have had sex it’s not bad but sometimes i want him to absolutely destroy me, like multiple orgasms at a time, make me cry, degrade me, you know all that pizazz, he’s scared of hurting me or my feelings which makes sense but i wanted more i just didn’t know how to come out and ask for stuff like this but i don’t want 6 MILLION people to- i was cut off by nick who’s screaming my name to get me to pay attention “Y/N” nick screams “Are you listening??” i stutter before answering “y-yes i was just trying to think of a good answer” i look over at matt who’s also caught up in thought “but i think chris should answer first” matt breaks the awkward tension by looking at chris as chris shrugs his shoulders and nods in agreement “hmmm,” he starts “id have to say i’d love to eat a girl out for HOURS” he smirks “not saying i’ve never done that but like most can’t handle much after one” he smiles devilishly and nick matt and i all look at eachother and snicker as chris still began going into detail about eating a girl out before matt cuffs him off “OKAY CHRIS, i will go next just to save everyone else” matt laughs before continuing “umm id have to say my deepest darkest sexual fantasy is uh prolly uhm” he stops nervously so i chime in “matt it’s okay come on you got this” he looks at me and smiles before finishing his sentence “tying someone up and like uh eating em out till they can’t move anymore” he places his hand behind his head and rubs the back of his neck but subconsciously my thighs squeeze together at the thought of it before i quickly snap out of it “well since it’s my turn my fantasy is just really rough sex.. yk like.. yeah i ain’t even gonna go into detail about that you can use ur imagination” i look at the camera and wink when i say the last part of my sentence before nick chimes in “well from the constant banging of the fucking wall from the headboard every night you’d think she be getting that gypsy rose ‘that d is fire’ every fucking night” the entire car busts out into laughter from nicks commentary on mine and matt’s sex life. “okay nick next question” chris states “uhm most of the rest of the questions are weird” nick says while trying not to gag from the question, but i can’t help but look at matt looking deep in thought but i can’t stop wondering if maybe i said something wrong.. was it my tone? i quickly snap out of it when nick starts talking to chris about the nights of restless nights of the consistent banging and moaning coming through the walls from matt absolutely blowing my back out, now matt was sweet and gentle and we had multiple talks about what we were into, what we liked, what we didn’t but i wanted MORE… i needed MORE… i bit my lip subconsciously at the nasty things matt and i could be doing in my head.
“OOO A GOOD QUESTION..” nick starts “something that gets you horny INSTANTLY” i smile and giggle before chris interrupts me and says “ASS AND THE THOUGHT OF SMACKING A NICE FAT ASS” i slap my hand on my face over my mouth over his comment, nick beat me to the thought of slapping Chris’s arm before it got any worse. “christopher sturniolo lets stop talking before your mouth gets worse and u expose yourself more then you have target boy” nick spits out “okay anyways, neck kisses are a biggie for me” i say turning the attention towards me instead of chris’s foul mouth. “AH FINALLY ONE I CAN AGREE WITH Y/N” nick cheers “okay okay, sometimes when Y/N walks around in plaid shorts and a tank top no bra.. idk that’s just me personally” matt says nervously but i can’t help but smile at his answer
“well thank you guys so much for watching this uncomfortable Rated R video.. we probably will not be doing this again because i cannot sit though listening through this again..” nick says with giggles in between sentences. matt grabs the camera and points it in my direction closely and i giggle and smile in the camera before he points it closer in his brothers direction and nick says once more “i will never be doing this again” as chris laughs loudly, matt does his little gremlin voice as i call it and clicks the red button to stop recording.
“well that was interesting” i laughed while stepping out the car to get back inside
“interesting isn’t what i would call it” nick giggles out
matt and i make our way to our shared bedroom but he closes the door suddenly and locks it which makes me jump and turn around
“strip” matt says sternly
“w-what” i stutter but clench my thighs together at his stern tone
“don’t make me say it again Y/N strip”
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A/N: AHH PLS LEMME KNOW HOW THIS IS?!?! also pls tell me how to make a masterslist.. cause idk how do that!!
#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#Spotify
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