#also mad at my dad bc i told him not to do or say anything and just not post thing anymore but he went and straight up messaged x’s friend

[guinevereslancelot]

most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?

[achilleslyre]

ffs so much shit just happened and got revealed to me rn i need to stop talking to my family omfgg……..

[that-sarcastic-writer]

A Love Game

DI!Single!Dad!Leon S. Kennedy X F!Teacher!Reader

Summary: You hear a glimpse of Leon's relationship with his daughter. And later he makes you a proposal you just can't refuse

Warnings: mild sexual content, still minors dni, brief phone sex, allusions to sex, Leon has a mouth on his as always, bit of soft!dom leon, mostly Leon being a soft dad on this one, foul language (as always), no use of y/n

WC: 3k

A/N: so I'm totally in love with this dynamic! And yalls support was insane. I literally wrote two separate drafts of a continuation of these two and whichever I finished first was gonna be posted, so the light smut one won bc I'm tired atm and didn't feel like sitting in front of my computer for 6 hours🙃 so this short part will have a second part to it with full spicy time. And another standalone part with these two (coffee and other things) having some more spicy time is also in the works, so stay tuned. Besitos <3

Universe Masterlist

Leon blinked slowly, his eyes now starting to grow sore from staring at the bright computer screen for so long. But he just hadn't had time to finish this stupid report. Sure, he has had two whole days to get it done, but with a tiny human clinging to his arm every waking minute, it was a bit more complicated than he thought. But he couldn't possibly ignore his little girl when he barely had the time to be with her without having to worry about stopping some mad scientist with too much time in their hands. He didn't mind though. His little girl was more important than anything else. 

Still, he took advantage of the little window of time he had now. He had given Isabella dinner a little over an hour ago. Then left her in the dining room to finish her homework. She had always been a smart girl, responsible with her homework, she never fussed when he asked her to do it, so it didn't worry him in the slightest to leave her to do her own thing. She tended to get distracted when he was around anyway. 

Though, maybe an hour had gone by when he heard tiny feet pad bare through the wood floors and he saw a mess of chocolate brown strands sticking from its bun peek above his computer screen. He slowly lowered the screen until it was almost shut and he was met with a pair of sapphire eyes that were a replica of his own. He raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Daddy." She took a step closer to him, her eyes big like she wanted to ask him something. 

Leon sat up fully, setting his laptop aside and nodded at her, giving her his full attention now. "What's up bee?" 

"Can I.. uhm.. I can play with your switch now?" She asked, dark lashes batting as she fiddled with her hands. As if she had to give him puppy dog eyes for him to say yes. He kept his face serious though. 

"You wanna play on my switch?" She nodded. He ran his fingers over his light stubble as if he was thinking real hard, he pursed his lips in thought. "I dunno hun, did you finish your homework?" 

"How did you know I had homework?" She asked with an adorable frown on her face, it took Leon all of his willpower not to break then. 

"Well I do now." He slipped a smile and she pouted. He couldn't help but chuckle at his little girl. He took her in his arms and sat her on his lap. "Well I knew before. Wanna know how?" 

Her head perked up. "How?" 

Leon leaned into her ear with a smile, "'Cause dads know everything about their little girls." He pressed a kiss to the side of her hair and set her back on her feet. "But yeah, Miss Pretty Teacher told me." 

"That's cheating!" She whipped her head around with a gasp and glared at him. He again couldn't hide his laugh. 

"Yeah alright, you caught me," he raised his hands up at her in surrender. "You can play on the switch for a bit. Do you remember how to turn it on?" 

Izzy proudly nodded and skipped over to the large TV hooked up to the living room. The TV had been on, nothing playing, but just on, since Leon had intended to play some white noise in the background but never actually loaded up anything. He switched to the right input as he watched Izzy turn on the Switch. It took her a second to remember how, but she was happily skipping back to the couch with the controllers as the loading screen came up before Leon could get up to help. He shook his head to himself, but he puffed out a breath when Izzy jumped on his lap, rather hard, the little girl giggling when he groaned. 

"Jesus Christ, when did you get so big?" He chuckled, fixing her on his lap so she wouldn't fall and watched as she scrolled through the games until she found Mario Kart. 

"I turned seven in October, remember?" She piped up, genuinely reminding him of such an important date, as if he would ever forget. He nodded.��

"I know, Izzy. I took you to Dave and Busters with Amara, remember?" 

"Oh. Yeah, you're right. That was fun. We should go again sometime! Please daddy?" She turned her head to look at him with this smile on her face and her big blue eyes. 

God, what did he ever do to deserve this kid? 

He pressed his lips to her forehead and nodded. 

"'Course. I'll talk to Amara's mom, okay?" 

He watched as Izzy excitedly nodded and cheered happily before she got lost in the game in front of her. He didn't mind her having screen time. It wasn't like she had an iPad glued to her face twenty-four-seven. He let her play once or twice a week, and maybe a third if he was feeling like playing with her. And she was more than happy to spend that time with her dad. 

Tonight he wasn't really feeling playing, so he watched her do her best. To her, she was the biggest winner there ever was, throwing turtle shells and bombs at practically nothing and hitting the wall with every curve, but she had fun with it, so he let her be, cheering her on whenever she finished a race, even if it was in ninth or eighth place. 

Maybe thirty minutes had passed when he felt his phone buzz beside him. He took his eyes away from the colorful screen to look at his phone. It lit up with a text, and his smile grew wide at the name. 

My pretty teacher. 

He grabbed his phone and quickly opened the conversation. You had been texting back and forth all day, for days now, after what he considered a perfect first date, but he just hadn't gotten around to match your schedule to plan another date. So you had resorted to texting and maybe calling once here and there. But God, he was really missing you right about now.

My pretty teacher: sorry, I went to dinner with my mom and sister. And I just got home. Hru? 

He bit his lip as he attempted to type into his phone one handed. 

Me: It's fine. I'm ok. With izzy. 

My pretty teacher: awww🥰 

Me: Can you call? I'm texting with one hand at the moment. 

You saw the message, and he could see the three text bubbles appear and disappear. Until they didn't come back. He mentally grimaced at himself, maybe the idea of talking to him while Isabella was there made you uncomfortable? Shit. He hadn't thought about that. Christ, he hadn't dated in so long he had forgotten that being a single dad wasn't exactly the biggest turn on. No matter how much one liked kids. 

His anxiety riddled brain stopped racing when he saw your contact name pop up on his screen as his phone started ringing. He grinned to himself. He glanced at Izzy— her full attention was still on her game, he shrugged and answered the call. He set his phone down, still having one ear bud in from when he was working on his laptop. 

"Hey Miss." He spoke first, his heart racing in his chest a bit. 

"Hi Leon." He could hear the smile in your voice. That shy smile he thought was the prettiest thing. 

"You busy?" He asked, still a bit worried he was interrupting you in the middle of something. Though the indistinct sound of TV playing in the background let him know that maybe you weren't that busy. 

"Not really. I got home a little bit ago so I was just about to run myself a bath." You answered, walking back and forth between your bedroom and the bathroom connected to it. "You?"

Leon tried his hardest not to think about your words too much. Not right now. 

"Nah. Just watching Izzy play on my switch. She's kicking ass in Mario Kart." He heard you blurt out a giggle, which made him chuckle, but what made him actually laugh was Izzy shooting him a frown over her shoulder. 

"Daddy, that's a no-no word." 

Leon snapped his head down at Izzy and he frowned, not sure if he heard her correctly, "What's that bee?" 

"I said that's a bad word."

"What is?" 

"Ass." 

Leon almost snorted at the way she said the word. With a frown and her lips pursed. He didn't care if she said bad words or not. He sure as hell said them all the time, but he encouraged her not to repeat what he said, in front of other people, at least. He narrowed his eyes at her. 

"So don't say it. I'm an adult. I can say them." When she kept looking at him, he placed a hand on top of her head and —gently— turned her head back towards the TV screen, despite her protest. "Keep playing your game, Isabella. Or you can't sit on my lap anymore." 

All Leon could hear was you attempting to muffle your laughter, but he could hear your giggles loud and clear. He only rolled his eyes, but he had a tiny smile of his own. 

"C'mon don't laugh, being a parent is hard. Are you the one teaching her this no-no bull— B.S?" He caught himself, closing his eyes when you laughed even more, now not even bothering to hide it. 

"I have to! I have a swear jar, I'm sorry. I gotta set an example." 

He actually laughed at this, remembering the mouth you had on you when he had you on his bed. 

"Yeah, well, you weren't so pure and innocent when you were screaming—" He caught himself again, his own eyes widening when he remembered Isabella was right there and he sighed out softly. "Give me an hour and I'll give you the answer you deserve, Miss." 

You stayed quiet for a second, not because he offended you, but because you needed a second to breathe and control the heat that flashed between your legs at his insinuation. You exhaled deeply before responding. 

"You're what again? Playing Switch with Izzy? 

Leon hummed in response. "She is. She's sitting on my lap so I'm being forced to watch." 

"I'm not forcing you!"

"On your game, Isabella. Stop listening to my conversation." 

"Does she have her own Switch or something?" You asked, now sitting on the edge of your bathtub as hot water poured from the faucet. 

"No. It's my Switch. But I leave it in the living room so she can play sometimes." He answered you with a shrug you obviously couldn't see. 

You chuckled softly, "How old are you again?" 

"Thirty-eight, but that's besides the point. I barely have time to use the thing. I mostly bought it for Izzy." He wasn't lying— entirely. He sometimes played, late at night by himself when he wanted to drown himself in a bottle of whiskey. He would choose to play a game to blow off steam instead of getting drunk with his little girl sleeping in the next room or passing out drunk at some shitty bar. 

"I'm very convinced by that." You snorted, making him sigh out at you.

"Hmph. Whatever. You wouldn't understand how cathartic throwing green turtle shells at tiny cars can be." 

"Oh I bet." 

"Daddy?" You heard Isabella's voice through the phone and your heart warmed.

Leon looked down at Izzy, "Yeah?" 

"Who are you talking to?" She asked with genuine curiosity, her very glorious race tournament now over and her attention was on him. 

He heard you go silent, most likely having heard the little girl and he sighed out, his eyes landing up on the ceiling for a second as he thought of his answer. 

"Just a friend, bee." He ultimately decided on that answer. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being with you, not at all, but Izzy was still young, and even he knew there had to be a proper introduction of you outside of your teacher role. He actually wanted to do this the right way.

"You fuck my brains out last week and I'm just a friend now?" He heard you comment in his ear and he groaned out. 

"C'mon, that's not fair." He leaned back into the couch, his forearm over his eyes now as he basically had two women all over him, pressing him with way too many questions for his liking. 

"I'm just giving you a hard time, Leon. I get it." There was humor in your voice, lightheartedness and even though he couldn't see you, he had a feeling you had that gentle smile on your lips. That eased the pressure on his chest. 

"Listen sweetheart, it's almost Izzy's bedtime," His eyes were on Izzy now, and with his eyes he was nudging at her to start wrapping up her game. She pouted, but didn't otherwise fuss. "Call you in an hour?" 

You both had this dumb, lovesick smile on your face, if only you could see the other.

"I'll be up."

The warm water, the foaming body wash and the intoxicating smell of your favorite candle had done wonders to relax you. When you left the bathtub you felt like a whole new person. Though there still this tug of butterflies in your stomach as you anxiously waited for Leon to call you. 

You sat on the edge of the tub, warm and fluffy robe wrapped around your naked body as you mindlessly scrolled through your social media for a little while before you decided to check out for the night. You nearly slipped right off the tile when your phone buzzed and you felt a cold shiver run down your spine. 

"Hey, sorry about, y’know, earlier. Izzy and I are like that." You smiled at the sound of Leon's voice, now a bit hushed but more relaxed and carefree, like he now could say whatever the fuck he wanted. 

"It's okay. It was cute, hearing how you talk to her. You're sweet." You smiled to yourself, and you could hear him breathe out a soft laugh, most likely a bit flustered by your words, but he otherwise didn't show it. "You put her to sleep though?" 

"Yeah, I stayed with her 'til she fell asleep. I'm in my bedroom now, about to take a shower." He said the words slowly, with purpose, like he wanted you to think about it like he had been thinking about you, taking that bath. "So, you take your bath yet?" 

"Yeah, it was nice. I definitely needed it. I could've used some company though." You bit your lip, testing his reaction. There was silence, then he hummed. 

"Yeah? That so?" Now it was your turn to hum in agreement, your legs instinctively closing as you tried to soothe the ache between your thighs. "I'm sure you could've. Would've been nice to have someone hold you, right? Have someone leave kisses on your wet skin, say how good you're doing while getting your pretty pussy fingered?" 

You couldn't hold back the moan that left your throat at his words, and your free hand instantly traveled down, stopping at your belly. 

"Oh, that's a sound I'll never get tired of hearing. Fuck, you're already moaning for me and I'm not even there to give you a reason." He exhaled out a chuckle, his hardening cock starting to press against his sweatpants. 

"Fuck, I really wish you were here." You sighed out, your hand itching closer towards your already wet cunt, but you knew it wasn't your touch you ached for. It was Leon's. 

"Yeah? Why's that?" 

You whined softly, your phone almost slipping off your grip as your head fell to the side. "Leon…" 

"Tell me." 

"Because… I really, really, need you to touch me, hold me, ugh— I just need you to fuck me, Leon." 

Leon clenched his fist as his side, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he listened to your desperate words, and the sound shot straight to his cock. Fuck, he'd be lying if he said he didn't need you, too. 

"Goddamn baby," He grunted softly, his hand now brushing the front of his sweats, where his cock strained against the material, and he tried to muffle the sound between his teeth, but you heard it anyway. "You have no fucking idea how much I've been wanting to ruin that pussy of yours again. It's actually driving me crazy." 

You shuddered, the ache between your legs starting to become unbearable. "I really want to see you too, baby." 

Leon closed his eyes, biting his lip raw as he thought fuck it. He could explain in the morning. 

"Fuck it, just fuck it. Wanna take the drive here? I swear I'll give you exactly what you need and it'll be so worth it." 

You'd like to think you were a rational person, you always thought things through twice, three times if necessary. You didn't take risks, much less acted in a way that could be considered immoral, but for Leon? Fuck, for that man you would become the biggest whore in this world if it meant he would take you just one more time. 

"Be there in thirty." 

Fuck it. 

Sneak peek of A Love Game Part II, coming soon

His lips were hard on your own, messy on your jaw, like he didn't know which part he wanted to kiss more. Your fingers were entangled in his perfectly soft honey brown strands, already melting under his touch. His hand came up under your jaw to grip your face in place, long fingers sprawled out over your neck. He pulled you back by your face and his eyes were hard on you, with this mixture of authority and utter need to fuck you. He could be both. 

"This is how this is gonna be. I'm going to throw you on that bed and fuck you the way you deserve. But I better not hear a single fucking sound leave those pretty lips of yours. Not tonight. Got it?"

Stay tuned for upcoming parts lovelies. Besitos<3

[siolixz]

~ Veils of Crimson ~

Chapter 2

Pairings: oz cobb x reader (Carmine Falcone's daughter)

<chapter1> <chapter3> <chapter4> <chapter 5: part 1>

Reader is the daughter of Carmine Falcone and upon her late father's demise, she is obligated to return home after 5 years to face her past. I edited some things, like Sofia being in Arkham only 5 years instead of 10. Hopefully y'all like it, again no smut, remember, good things come to those who wait (not for too long bcs im obsessed with writing about this man ughbhghgy)

Again, I took my inspo from Driving Miss Falcone by (https://www.tumblr.com/genevievedarcygranger here on tumblr), check out the story if you can.

Enjoy, give feeback if u want xoxo.

Warnings: mature language, smut (not in this chapter sorry AGAIN), general horniness.

“I wanted to tell you that tomorrow night I will be unavailable from 4 PM to 7 PM; your sister has requested me.”

Sofia was a very kind person; that much you knew. Your sister rarely did anything to hurt you or anyone else for that matter. So why on earth would she take Oz away for a few hours? Was she planning on telling him about your feelings? She wouldn’t. Maybe your smartass remarks finally caught up to her, maybe she wanted to teach you a lesson.

No, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Oz is a trustworthy guy, someone your dad depends on to take care of one of his most special treasures: you.

“Why?” you asked. You didn’t mean to make it sound so sharp; you weren’t mad, really, just curious.

“I’m sorry, but she said I couldn’t tell anyone.” He kept his eyes on the road ahead but glanced at you in the rearview mirror; his gaze was soft.

“Okay, if that’s what she said, it seems I’ll have to ask her.” You hated things not going your way, especially if Oz was hiding things from you. You two were supposed to be close, even if you were acting like a spoiled brat right now. If any other member of the staff had acted like this with you- it would have been a different story.

The next day, from morning until late evening, you tried to shake the uneasy feeling that your sister was gone to do something she was not supposed to. Either way, it was something very important. When you asked her, she quickly said it was none of your business and that you shouldn’t worry; she would get your driver back as soon as possible.

Something was definitely up. She took Oz with her when she had two other drivers. Maybe it was because Oz was intimidating; that huge scar on his face couldn’t have appeared there because he was a nice guy, and he wasn’t going to hesitate if push came to shove.

Tomorrow was your dad’s birthday party, and you had the most beautiful dress prepared: a gorgeous, short, white dress paired with the most stunning custom-made Louboutin heels, also white—a gift from your dad on your 18th birthday.

You knew tomorrow was going to be full of remarks like, “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in SUCH a long time!” “I cradled you when you were just a widdle baby!” “How beautiful you have become!” Being the center of attention wasn’t so bad now; I mean, you were the baby of the family, and everyone doted on you.

The Falcone mansion was a very, very big house, full of rooms and bathrooms, and it was sometimes hard to figure out who came and went. As you rested on your family sofa in the living room, waiting to be welcomed in by your father in his office, you heard those familiar footsteps you knew so well. 

It was hard not to know who he was; that leg of his became harder to move late in the evening. You discovered this by literally dragging him with you into every shop that piqued your curiosity. From early afternoon until late evening, you were on the “prowl,” as your sister liked to say at family dinners—from meeting the daughter of X and Y in I-don’t-know-what shop to trying on a multitude of dresses, shoes, and accessories. He never told you, but you were sure it hurt him as well; still, Oz never showed any signs of discomfort or pain. He was always ready with a smile or a funny remark.

When you saw him, he had his jacket removed, and you noticed the way his belly pushed against his dress shirt. A few buttons were undone at the upper part of his torso, giving you a full look at the hair there. His tie was gone as well. You knew his shift was done; clearly, Sofia had dismissed him.

You immediately jumped off the sofa and went to say hi to him. He was clearly surprised to see you, especially in your pajamas. You also forgot about the attitude you were supposed to have. What was all that about anyway?

“Hi Oz, what are you doing here?”

He said he wanted to talk to your dad. What was up with all this secrecy? Did they think you were too stupid or naive to have a say or an opinion? When you asked what it was about, he said it was just some business stuff, nothing too important. You two could talk outside if you wanted; he wasn’t allowed inside the house after all.

“Okay, whatever.” It was hard not to get annoyed at both of them. You hadn’t even seen or talked to your sister. Did she even come home?

He must have been in there for about thirty minutes, but finally, he came out. Outside, he lit a cigarette and asked if you were cold, he could get you his jacket-forever the gentleman. You said no, the last thing you wanted to do was push him like that. You asked again about your sister and he didn’t want to tell you, again, saying it wasn’t right to your sister. Ok, now you really had to find out and with your heart beating a thousand beats per minute, you got even closer to him. The smell of his cologne, the one he always wore, left a trail wherever he went—a sort of flamboyance he allowed himself- the only one he was allowed in the chains of his current position. The smell of the cigarette mixed with it wasn’t the most pleasant, but whatever; it smelled like him.

“Please, Oz, I just want to know. Everyone always keeps me in the dark. You’re my friend—well, I consider you my friend—just tell me. Don’t be like the rest of them because you aren’t.” You looked at him with the most pained expression you could muster at that hour, your voice breaking-low enough to be a whisper

 “Doll, I—listen—” he started.

“Please, Oz, you're my driver, and you’re supposed to be by my side. I was kind to you; I always told you everything. I made sure my dad gave you all those bonuses for walking around with me.” You paused. “Please?” He looked at you like you were in hospice before saying:

“Okay, Jesus, um, your sister went to a journalist, that lady who came after her when you were off sulking in the car. She met up with her today—”

“What?” you interjected.

He inhaled deeply before continuing, “Something about your dad and some hookers at the club. Apparently, they died or something. Your sister was interested in whatever that woman had to say, nothing more.”

“Oh—”

“Oh, exactly. Now don’t go telling your brother or something—”

“Dad has hookers at the club?”

He looked at you, dumbfounded. “Y-yeah, I guess. Anyway, it is nothing you should concern yourself with, ya know?” You didn’t respond, lost in thought. How could she have been so stupid?

“Hey, hey—” he lowered his head to catch your big eyes, so full of things to say, a million thoughts running behind them. “Look at me. It’s going to be okay. Where do you want to go tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” you said.

“C’mon, you gotta think about something. Until your dad’s birthday in the evening, we gotta go somewhere. There’s this new restaurant that opened up; I heard only good things about it—” How could she have been so careless? “Something with C—ugh, I can’t remember right now.”

“Okay, tomorrow we go. You have a nice night, Oz,” you said. “Take care of yourself.”

“Alright, you too. Sleep tight,” he said, a bit surprised at your quick dismissal of him. You knew that, but you had to think.

This was huge, like actually huge. If your dad found ou—Why was Oz visiting your dad?

The birthday party was the same as every year: all the family got together to have material for gossip later on in the day and hate each other just as much as they did when they were away. You never went with Oz to that restaurant because, frankly speaking, you were scared shitless. Your dad loved you and your siblings you knew that, in his own way, and he would never endanger any of you.

When your dad called Sofia into his office and she got all excited to give him his birthday present, you never would have thought in a million years that the night would end with her being picked up by the police. Alberto called you in a frenzy that night, his voice shaking with anger. You knew—your dad let this happen. This arrest was made on his grounds, on his territory—why? How?

When you visited your sweet sister, everyone still believed she was going to go home. This was just Dad’s way of scaring her, maybe to teach her a lesson—the most important one he had been repeating all your lives: DO NOT SPEAK TO THE PRESS.

Her lawyer was very, very expensive, and yet not even she could save her. You thought she was going to jail. No, she was going to Arkham for six months until she would be judged. Based on the false accusations that she hanged those sex workers at your dad’s club. What? Now that was actual insanity. She started yelling that Dad set her up, that he killed all those women—he killed their mom too. This was a lot to process. Your heart was beating out of your chest seeing the person who you thought was the most calm and collected person freak out, and rightfully so, because police officers took her away in like five minutes.

It all happened too fast, way too fast for this to be okay.

What sort of judge allows this to happen?

You knew it was his fault. He did this. Upon arriving back home, you were a wreck. How could you look your dad in the eye again?

One thing you knew for sure: you never wanted to see Oz again.

And your wish came true! Because your darling sweet daddy sent you far, far away, abroad, because he didn’t want to deal with you either, you presumed. He sent you to France, where a large part of your mom’s family lived.

You never learned French, but now was apparently the time. Your aunt and uncle lived quite well over there and even if they didn’t really keep in touch with you over the years, they accepted you with open arms. They had a large villa in the south, a pool outside, the beach was one hour away, two dogs that would run around and make your days better.

 But how could your days be good when your sister was in a looney bin, thrown in there like a rag, used and discarded? Your days were spent calling Alberto, asking about Sofia. You made sure he told her you loved her, that you asked about her, and that you two were going to get her out of there. Every year, Al told you she started losing herself more and more each day.

Oz, on the other hand, apparently thought he was a big man now; he ran the Iceberg Lounge, a funny name association, given that he hated being called “Penguin.” You knew he asked about you too, but Alberto said he told him to fuck off every time.

You weren’t allowed to go back home, at least that’s what you understood from your dad. He said you and your sister both lost yourselves a bit, maybe the money and the fame got to your head and that it was best you stayed there; the weather would do you wonders.

On the bright side, it had been five long years, and Alberto said he was 100% sure he was going to get Sofia out of that shithole, finally.

And when you thought that things were finally looking up for you, everything was going to be okay after such a long time of everything being shit—your dad died.

Your ears started ringing, like a train was passing in your head, when Alberto yelled out that he was gone over the phone. Your knees felt weak, like someone had transformed them into play-doh. I need to get home now.

Your dad wasn’t even cold in the grave when Alberto went AWOL—gone, no word from him since yesterday evening. Both you and Sofia were worried. Where was he?

You knew Oz was called to the house that day after your brother stopped responding to your texts. You could hear that loud voice of his, muffled but still loud enough to hear everything they said.

You hadn’t been here for quite some time—five years. Still, nothing changed. Sofia’s uncle Johnny and Milos filled your brother’s spot while he was gone; however, when he comes back-he’s going to be the boss, that's for sure.

Women weren’t allowed inside when the men were planning and talking business, but you weren’t inside. Plus, it wasn’t your fault Oz had a voice loud enough to hear from down the hall. Oz. Oz’s voice. Your heart skipped a beat whenever he spoke. This stupid attraction—you hoped in the years that passed it would go away, but apparently, it had not. In fact, it seemed to have grown alongside you. Maybe now he could have more courage; maybe this newly acquired upgrade made him the man you only saw glimpses of. You were a grown woman; surely now he had no reservations about you. Surely.

You didn't even hear your sister walk by with her bodyguards near your spot, attached to the door, too busy in your daydream.

“Am I interrupting you?” she asked, making you jump and curse under your breath. Her manner of speaking changed; so did her walk, her style, and her hair. But you knew the love you guys had for one another hadn’t changed.

“Fuck, Sofia, why are you sneaking up on me like that?” you whispered.

“Can you please move? I want to go inside,” she said, smiling, but the smile never reached her eyes. You moved, and the doors were opened.

“—in fact, it’s big. It has the potential to revolutionize the drug business,” you heard from inside. Huh? Is he referring to Al's plan?How does he know what Alberto wanted to do? You didn’t even know the whole story—of course you didn’t.

You decided to leave. You didn’t want Oz to see you, and you didn’t want to see him either. What was wrong with you?

On your way out, passing the exit, you saw this gorgeous purple car. Now there was only ONE man you knew who could possess something as flashy and in-your-face as a purple fucking car.

It wasn’t Milos, by the way. Then you heard his footsteps, and they were coming-fast, like really fucking fast.

Shit, okay, I’m leaving—go up the stairs now. Before you could hide yourself in one of the upper rooms, you heard Sofia yell out your name.

“Oz, you remember my little sister, right? She had such a fondness for you and you of her, from what I remember. You two haven’t seen each other for such a long time.” Okay, you couldn’t hide, so just put on a brave face and go say hi. “Hi, Oz, you ruined my life, but don’t worry, I would still ride you.” You wished you were back in Europe.

Turning the corner was the easy part; looking at him was the hard part. He looked different, yes—but still the same. His clothing had definitely changed; his black suit was now replaced with a purple one, like the car. Jesus. While you descended the staircase in your short flowery dress, it felt like your date was waiting for you downstairs to take you to prom. Those seven seconds you spent getting down the staircase felt like seven hours. Please, ground, swallow me whole now.

Once you got down and saw him again for the first time in five years, up close, he looked somehow more handsome. His scar was more pronounced, yes, but it added to his allure. Oh God, he’s smiling. Not only did he have a purple car and a purple suit, but this man had golden teeth as well. On a lighter note, he smelled like cologne, cigarettes, and aftershave—just like you remembered him smelling. Oh, that brings you back.

“Hi, Oz,” you said, smiling ear to ear.

He looked you up and down, still smiling. “Wow, you’re just as gorgeous as I remember.”

[artificialbreezy]

Omg dad Noah is the cutest but could you imagine him being so much more protective of his pregnant partner

i feel like Noah is just protective of the ones he loves period but when he sees the little plus sign on that stick it’s like something changes in him. he takes you EVERYWHERE. your midwife will be on the tour with you because god forbid anything happen to you. you guys find out when he’s on tour, your standing in a random hotel bathroom in New York and your pacing bc you’re so worried it’s gonna fuck up his career but Noah is anxiously waiting bc he wants his to be positive so bad. he hasn’t told you but he’s been thinking about this for months now. he hears the timer go off and looks at you and says “you wanna check it or do you want me too?” and you just kinda shrug and he checks it and his eyes immediately water and your stomach drops straight to your ass because you think he’s gonna leave and he looks at you with the happiest eyes and biggest smile, “baby, we’re gonna be parents!” and you’re like “wait. you’re not mad?” and he’s like “oh my god no. i’m so excited. we’re gonna have a little us running around before we know it.” and he’s immediately making plans for you to move in so he can watch you because he refuses to leave you alone. he’s gotta keep an eye on you. he makes sure you take your prenatal every morning, if you want any sort of take out he’s on his way to get it, when you show any sign of pain or discomfort he’s immediately asking “what’s wrong? do we need to go to the hospital? how can i help? baby why don’t you sit down?” and you’re like “noah i’m fine it’s okay, im growing a whole ass human inside my stomach. my guts have moved to make room for your baby-“ he’d interrupt you so fast, “our baby.” and you’d just smile and sit down like he said so he’d calm down. now he can’t keep his eyes on you 100% of the time. like when he’s on stage. but he’s also worried about the loudness of the venue being too much for your little ole body to handle now that your 7 months pregnant, so he makes you sit in the back with Davis. he’ll run back to the room during song breaks to check on you. he’s totally missed his cue a couple times because he got caught up feeling his baby kick. when he got back to the stage, he’d announce “sorry guys my girlfriend’s here and our baby was kicking like crazy and she never lets me feel her kick so i HAD too”. If noah has an interview he’s texting you the whole time and he’s making Jolly, Folio, and Nick keep their EYE on you. and he knows you wouldn’t tell him if something was up because he’s busy so he’s message the band group chat asking for the opinions on how you are and it’s always. she just has lunch or she’s sitting on the couch. it brings him ease knowing his family is keeping you safe when he can’t. bro and when you go into labor? he is your voice, your advocate. you guys talked so much about your birth plan (he wrote it all down so it would go according to plan) and when the hospital (if the hospital) is being picky he shuts it down FAST. “we are doing this the way she wants. no ands, ifs, or buts about it. the only reason we’re stepping outside of this plan is if it’s life or death”. he definitely would talk you through the pushing, he’d hold your hand, kiss your forehead. it broke his heart seeing you crying because of the pain but he knew you’d be okay. when he heard the cries of his little baby, the man wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears. he’d look at you, tears streaming down his face, “you did it mama.”

i got so carried away with this omfg

[its-time-to-write]

Jamie tartt friends with benefits would be very fun! I love how you write Jamie it’s so so incredibly lovely

I wrote this bc I’m mad about old men trying to tell me how to do my job.

soft hands hit the jagged ground

It starts off as a joke, really. 

You’re both at the same party and arguing about who’s the better kisser, when suddenly your lips are on Jamie’s and neither of you are quite sure who made the first move. 

You don’t talk much, just enough to say that this competition extends to other physical activities and to order a car, so a few hours later you collapse exhausted on the bed in your flat. 

“Fuck,” Jamie gasps. 

“Fuck,” you agree. 

“We’ve got to do this again sometime,” he says, hand on his stomach as he stares up at the ceiling. 

“Give me ten minutes,” you reply. “Can’t let my twenties go to waste now, can I?”

So yeah, it’s like a thing. 

It’s not a romantic thing, that’s for sure.

It’s a “we just won a match” thing, or a “I had a shit day at work” thing, or “I need to blow off steam and can’t be bothered to pick up a stranger at the club” thing. 

No, romance does not factor in. This is strictly a friendship-type deal. 

It’s great, because neither of you actually has time for a relationship, and hookups are so hit or miss. And besides, you’ve never been extremely thrilled at the idea of some random person knowing where you live. And Jamie’s a little worried that someone will try to steal his jerseys. 

(Not worried enough, apparently, because you manage to make off with one from his Man City days.)

You both swore that neither of you would catch feelings and maybe that would have been true except for the evening Jamie called you and said, “Can I come over?” in a voice you’ve never heard before. 

You’ve barely hung up the phone when he’s knocking at your door, dressed in a suit and actual dress shoes, not trainers, hands leaving your body only for a moment to shut the door and turn the lock. 

He kisses you like he’s got all the time in the world, all slow and hungry.

He touches you almost like you’re someone else, and you’d think it’s strange except you can’t think of anything other than the fact that his body is pressed against yours and he’s holding you like it means something. 

You don’t say anything until you’re walking back to your room wrapped in a towel, water bottles in hand. 

“What was that about?” you ask, handing him his water. 

Jamie barely lifts his head. He decides not to play dumb, to be a little bit truthful. He’s not sure why, maybe because he’s still coming down and his brain doesn’t work proper. 

“Me and the lads were at a funeral today. For Ms. Welton’s dad. Made me feel all fuckin’… strange and shit. Dunno.” He takes a sip of his water and you settle in the bed next to him. 

You nod and say, “Makes sense.” It does. Funerals are fucking strange. The last one you went to had you feeling weird for a month so yeah, you get it. 

You’re both silent for a while longer when Jamie blurts out, “I told Keeley I still loved her,” and then you’re silent again, but it’s a different kind of quiet. The kind where you can practically hear the words oh shit hanging in the air. 

A couple things click into place where they probably shouldn’t, and so you take your cues from Jamie and say what’s on your mind as you blurt out, “Is that who you were thinking of?”

Jamie goes completely still, which is also strange because he’s��never still. Always tapping or shifting around or something. 

“Right,” you say, far too brightly. It’s fine, after all. “I understand. Yeah, no, makes sense.”

You’re not sure what else to say after that so you kind of just sit there and wait for Jamie to move again. He does, sits up enough to grab his knickers from where he dropped them off the side of your bed, slide them on, and say, “Better get going. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” you say halfheartedly, suddenly very, very tired. It’s doesn’t escape your notice that Jamie doesn’t meet your eyes the entire time he collects his clothes and heads out the door. 

You manage to get up and fish a new pair of underwear from one drawer and a sleep shirt from another, and it’s not until you’re back in your bed that you realize it’s Jamie’s 51 kit. 

But you’re too tired to get up and change so you just leave it and pass out. 

—

You wake up the next morning with way too many emotions to consider, so you let yourself buy a coffee from the shop instead of making one at home. You get an extra shot of espresso to block out the great big warning bells firing in your head. 

You’re not-so-blissfully unaware of the fact that Jamie’s on the other side of town having a similar morning. One that involves going to Nelson Road early to sneak in some extra cardio so he can work off whatever feelings still linger from last night. 

For a brief moment, he considers going to Dr. Sharon. But no, there’s no need for that because it’s all straightforward, innit? He’s a little fucked from the funeral and telling Keeley he loves her, and all he needs is one more good fuck and then it’s all out of his system. 

Except whenever he thinks about your face of all body parts, his chest gets all squeezy. And worse. 

So maybe it’s not so straightforward. 

He does fucking love Keeley, right? He’d take a bullet for her, and he misses talking to her every day. He scrunches up his face and imagines kissing her, nothing too wild, and it doesn’t make his chest tighten. 

That’s a good thing. 

Right?

—

By the time you get home from work, you’ve decided that it’s fine. It’s weird that he was thinking about someone else, but it doesn’t mean anything. Honestly, you two are just messing around until one of you decides to get into a relationship. So yeah, it’s all good. It’s not like you’d date him anyway. 

You’ve been pushing away thoughts like that for years, you’re not about to let them surface now. 

—

Jamie does not particularly want to talk to Dr. Sharon about this. He wants to talk to Keeley, except last time he tried that she walked him all the way to the therapist’s office and left him there. 

He thinks maybe Ted would be good, except he’s not sure Ted would know how to deal with Jamie’s whole “friends with benefits” situation. 

Beard probably would, except his relationship with Jane is one step away from psychotic, so Jamie thinks that he’ll talk to Sam because Sam is smart and probably won’t judge him. 

It works out, actually, because he’s going over to Sam’s for a sleepover since they have an out-of-town match the next day, and need to be up early. Jamie hates waking up early so Sam promised to make sure he wouldn’t press the snooze button on his alarm. 

So yeah, now he’s in Sam’s car (a fucking Tesla, all eco-friendly and shit) and they’re talking about training and brand deals and Jamie asks if Sam’s got a girl, but Sam just blushes and says I don’t know, not anymore before turning the question on Jamie. 

Jamie sighs and puts his face in his hands. “Let’s wait till we ain’t in your fucking car, yeah? It’s too fucking long to say here.”

Sam obliges and just turns up the radio for next eight minutes it takes to get to his house. 

Jamie hauls his bag into Sam’s flat and down on the guest room floor before taking a deep fucking breath. 

Right. He can do this. 

He makes his way to the kitchen where Sam’s pulling something out of a crock pot and Jamie is a little envious of his ability to cook so well for himself. 

Sam is oblivious to Jamie’s internal monologue as he says, “Alright, this girl. Tell me about her.”’

Jamie takes another breath and then the words just come spilling out. 

“I’ve known her since we were fucking…fifteen or some shit and like, we’ve always been friends. But lately it’s been like, what’s the word, friends with benefits? Where we have sex but aren’t dating. It’s been alright, mostly, except yesterday I told Keeley I loved her and things got all fucked up in me head.”

“How so?” Sam prods encouragingly. 

“It’s like…” Jamie pauses. What is it like? “Thinking about kissing Keeley didn’t make me all tingly or nothing. Dunno, felt- wrong. But I think of her face-” he groans. “Shit, man, me heart started pounding like mad. I’ve seen her naked, and it’s her face that gets me. I mean, what the fuck is that?”

Sam’s face is doing some weird contortionist movement, trying to hide his expression, so Jamie says, “Fucking hell man, spit it out before you break something,” and Sam says, 

“I don’t think you love Keeley.”

That makes Jamie mad. Of course he loves Keeley. He’d do anything for Keeley. 

Sam must see it written in his face because he hurries on. “I don’t mean that you don’t have love for her. I mean that you do not seem to love her romantically. It would seem to me you like this other girl.”

Well shit. That’s exactly what Jamie was afraid of. Leave it to Sam to get to the heart of the problem in five minutes, only this leaves him with another problem:

He’s spent the last nine years pretending like he had only friendly feelings toward you. Innocent, like. 

He can’t let all that pretending go to waste now. 

—

You don’t see each other for a week which is fine, because you had decided way beforehand not to meet up until the next weekend. You were finishing a major project at work and he was wrapping up a killer week at training. Hence, Friday night was the night to blow off all that steam.

You’ve successfully squashed any feelings for Jamie. They’re gone, buried deep down once again and you will not let them come back up.

And yet, you’ve put on a pink set under your shirt and sweat shorts, with a little more makeup than you’d gone to work with. Maybe the whole Keeley thing is lingering in your head a little more than you thought.

Whatever. Doesn’t matter.

You grab your keys and head out the door to Jamie’s house.

—

Jamie’s already texted you to let you know the door’s open, so you slip in and turn the lock behind you. The foyer is lit with a dim glow from upstairs.

“Jamie?” you call softly, “You here?”

There’s no response, so you pad up the stairs, stopping only to drop your keys on top of the table in the hall.

“Jamie?”  you say again, peering into his bedroom. Ah. So that’s where the light’s coming from. 

Jamie jumps from where he’s been bending over a candle. “Shit, you scared me. Didn’t hear you fucking come in.”

You smile tentatively, unsure what to say. Jamie shakes out the match and crosses over to the ensuite to drop it into the sink. He comes back out again and dips you into a kiss.

He says, “Nice shirt,” with his lips still against yours, and it’s only then that you remember you’ve put on his old kit, the one you stole the second time you went home with him.

You grin and kiss him again, waiting to be on your own two feet again so you can slide a hand under his sweatshirt. Neither of you have worn anything particularly amazing because it’s what’s underneath that counts, isn’t it?

Jamie’s thinking something similar because he starts backing you up to the bed as you fumble to slip shirts over heads and pants down on the floor. He traces an appreciative palm over a pink flower appliqué, and then you push the last traces of doubt as he hooks a finger under your waistband.

—

“What’s with all the candles?” you ask, when it’s dark enough to be considered nighttime but the clock says it’s technically morning.

“Setting the mood,” Jamie replies, voice gravely and just a little bit raw.

“Hmm,” you say. “Glad you didn’t burn the house down.”

Jamie’s been pressing kisses up your bare arm and you can feel him grin at that. “Psh. I’m an adult now. I’m fuckin’ responsible.”

“Sure,” you chuckle, then shiver as Jamie’s mouth has found its way to a spot behind your ear. “You ready to go again?”

“No,” Jamie replies between kisses, “What makes you think that?”

“Just a hunch,” you say as you roll on top of him. You trace his lower lip with your thumb, and he takes that opportunity to his it. And to run his knuckles up your sides.

“Fucker,” you hiss. “That tickles.”

He smirks, a real one, with his eyes all heavy-lidded and the barest hint of his teeth gleaming in the candlelight. 

“Yeah?” he whispers. “What about this? Does this tickle?”

He actually fucking dances his fingertips up your sides as you gasp and try to get off of him. He’s not having it, because he rolls you over and continues tickling you as if you hadn’t just been fucking fifteen minutes ago. 

You’re laughing and half-heartedly pushing at him and it’s so ridiculous that you stop trying to get him away and instead press as much of your skin against his as you can. 

He’s whispering in your ear, a combination of crude jokes and compliments, the kind that makes a blush bloom from your chest all the way to the tips of your ears.

God fucking damn it, he’s going to be the death of you, but you can’t make yourself stop smiling.

He’s still murmuring in your ear and he’s saying something about how fucking gorgeous you look, how fucking beautiful you’d look on the side of the pitch with his number on or as his date to some event and how everyone would be jealous because you’re so fucking hot, but you belong with him and he’s the one who gets to see you last thing at night and first thing in the morning.

It’s so utterly ridiculous.

He’s only saying it because he’s so far gone.

It’s so. Utterly. Ridiculous.

“Jamie, we can’t date,” you say between giggles.

He pauses to ask “Why not?” and the remnants of your laughter die in your throat. Oh shit. One good look at his face tells you he’s not joking. 

“Jamie,” you say again, this time more seriously, “Jamie, we really can’t date. That’s not how this works. You’re supposed to date a model or an actress or something, and I’m supposed to date, like, an accountant. Or a lawyer.”

“Why?” Jamie asks, accent thick as it’s ever been. 

“Because,” you reply. “I’m not really the trophy-girlfriend type. And… we’ve been friends pretty much forever. It’d mess everything up when we break up.” He’s still on top of you, propping himself up on his elbows so he can see your face. You want to point out that this is a conversation that probably requires clothing, but you don’t actually want that so you stay silent.

“What if we didn’t break up?” he suggests. 

You bark out a short laugh. “It doesn’t work like that. You can’t just choose not to break up.”

“Can,” he responds.

“Can’t,” you counter. 

“Don’t be Roy Kent,” he says.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you reply. “And anyway, I’m way sexier than him. And less scratchy.”

“You fucking like when I tell you what to do,” he says. 

You make a face. “I like it when it’s sexy. This is not sexy. This is sad and stupid, and we promised we wouldn’t have this conversation.”

“You promised,” Jamie reminds you. “I just didn’t disagree.”

He’s not wrong.

“Fine,” you say, pushing him a little so he’ll get off you. 

You sit up and wrap the sheets around your chest, pulling your knees close. “You told me less than a week ago that you were still in love with Keeley, and now you want me to date you? I love you, but you’re just getting your wires crossed because we’re having sex.”

Jamie shoots up, mouth open and you realize what you just said. 

“Shit, not like that, I mean as a friend, not- not as- I don’t know, I didn’t mean to say that,” you stutter out.

“I love Keeley as a friend,” Jamie says. “Talked to Sam about it, and he says I don’t know how to tell the difference between a friend and fucking romance. He said I’m fucking in love with you, not her, and he’s fucking right.”

You’d say that sounds like the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, except you’ve known Jamie for nine years and yeah, that sounds like something he’d do.

“Right,” you say slowly, “and you just now started feeling this way?”

He hesitates before deciding fuck it. “Nah. I think- I’ve been pretending like I didn’t since we were like, fuckin’ sixteen, probably. Didn’t want to screw it up though, did I?”

You shake your head before saying, “No, I guess not.”

“And anyway, us being together is that different from what we do now,” he continues. “Dating just means we can like, hold hands.”

You laugh and ask, “Is that the only thing that’s going to change?” but you can feel your resolve softening. Jamie can feel it too.

“Nah,” he says, feeling confident to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I can tell you that I love you. And kiss you just because. And get me mum off my back about never making a move on you.”

You say, “Hmm,” as if you’re considering it, but he knows you’ve already made your decision by the way you reach for him with both hands with a smile beginning to bloom across your face.

[kenlvry]

Kyle x s/o who smokes nic n weed n gets all cozy when they highing yo, laying o ZAZA!!

high with kyle

an, never smoke weed b4 but i have a vape, does that count as nic?? idk. also what do you call it when you take a smoke.. like take a blunt?? take a huff?? take a hit?? i hope you guys understand what i mean bc im using it in this also gn reader, reader isn't colour coded so dw

"dont be a wuss and do it kyle, it's not like it can do anything to you or anything" you said as you pass the joint to kyle " smoking weed is literally as dangerous as smoking cigarettes" he said passing it back to you "boo ur no fun" you said as you placed it inbetween your mouth, kyle let out a loud sigh "fine give it, if i get cancer it's your fault" you laughed and passed it to him. you two were in your house, your parents isn't coming home soon so why not take this opportunity? he coughed a little but he smoked before so it was ok, still coughing you took it away from his hands "dude where did you even get this?" you were all giggly and took another hit "hehe stans dad" "maybe youve had enough of this, ur wayyy too high" you just laughed and he took more hits anddd before you know it you two were high, you two laughed at every single shit. your cat licking its asshole? funny as hell, you burped? fucking comedian. kyle then dropped the blunt and you were too high to get mad and just laughed "dude we should like totally make out" "what." you stared at him "just kidding omg you totally thought i was being fr" and you bursted out laughing acting as if mans was kevin hart. then the door flung opened, it was stan "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?? my dad told you bought weed y/n " you stood up walking over to him putting your hand around his shoulder "why? you want it on this?" kyle also walked over "cmon, this shit is actually good" "no thankyou, if you die 5 years from now i won't come to the funeral" you both laughed as he left your house "whatever loser". there were board games on your table and you decided to play snakes and ladders, classic game "cmon kyle what colour counter do you want" he then proceeds to put his counter on the board "kyle thats a chess peice" you to would prank call cartman acting like your funny "um hello yes you have contacted how to be a stripper hotline, do you want to be a stripper?" you two suppress laughter as if he cant hear the "dude shut up" from the other line, you can hear cartman let out a loud sigh "y/n youre the one who called me and this is the 3rd time you called get a life bitch" "thats definitely what a stripper would say" and you two burst out laughing , cartman blocks you atp. he'd green out first like mans is sweating in the middle of snakes and ladders but refuses to loose and is still rolling the dice "dude i think imma puke" "sick dude do it in the bathroom" and he vomits "i think.... i need to lay down" "LAY DOWN ON THE COUCH NOT IN YOUR OWN PUKE". when he wakes up he has no idea of what happens and claims he never smoked but you,stan,cartman and the vomit stain on your carpet says otherwise.

[jewish-vents]

My entire life, I've yearned for the kind of community the Jewish community and Judaism have provided me. I found out I had Jewish ancestry when I was a kid, I looked into it more later and realized my most recent Jewish ancestor (like three-ish generations back) was almost certainly forcibly converted out, and decided to convert to like. Make amends for that I guess and also because I really vibed with the holidays and how we turn up everywhere in history bc we keep doing cool stuff despite consistently shitty circumstances.

But I digress.

I have waited my WHOLE LIFE trying to experience the joy becoming Jewish has shown me, and that gets shit on constantly.

My sister has started making a truly obscene number of Jew jokes. My mom scoffs at all the 'nonsense rules' and has said repeatedly that she thinks choosing a 'restrictive' religion is dumb and I've made a mistake. She even said it's an insult to HER parenting skills that I would seek out religion after she tried to teach me to know better.

My dad is dead but I never ever in a million years would have told him even if he were alive, and my sister thinks it's funny to threaten to 'out' me as Jewish to his relatives even though they're basically KKK-adjacent so she actually enjoys threatening mg safety at this point. (Yay family right?)

My friends have turned everything into an Israel/Palestine discussion lately and I know damn well what they're doing when they start saying truly horrible shit about Israelis and looking at me. They get mad if I try to temper their extremism so I've given up. I barely talk to them anymore and I spend more and more time with other Jews from temple and I don't want to like. Isolate myself from all non-Jews I guess bc I've always felt like that leads to weirdness and perpetuates shit about Jews being unfriendly I guess idk?

Anyway I digress again. My point is I'm really sick of constantly being expected to tolerate it when people think I shouldn't be Jewish.

Other queer people think I'm somehow compromising my queer identity by being Jewish, leftists think I hunt Palestinian children for sport now apparently, right-wingers think I traffic good Christian babies for organ harvesting or some shit idfk, my friends think that if I'm not being more vitriolic in my hatred of Israel than they already are I'm some kind of secret rabid Netanyahu fan, my family think I've been recruited into a cult apparently and the only other people who show me even an ounce of compassion or regard are other Jews and Gd knows there's like ten of us and that number is unlikely to increase.

Just. Fuck. I've put blood, sweat, tears and money into this, I invested more time and emotional commitment into this than I have into going to college or choosing a career, I love it more than anything and have only loved it more the more I learned about it, and all I get when I express this or even just let slip that I am Jewish and chose to be, I get nothing but hatred. I will never understand how a religion that has spent all 5000 years of our existence minding our business and arguing about the same book over and over can possibly have offended this many people with our existence.

Dmn anon, that is a lot you're dealing with right now. I'm so sorry you're surrounded by people who clearly don't respect you. Because yes this is a lack of basic respect, and it is antisemitic. Now I don't know how old you are and how safe you are, but if you can safely do so, set very hard boundaries. Do not tolerate this amount of disrespect towards who you are. It is hard, and many of us have had to go through similar situations, as you can read all over this blog. But I think having to spend your life surrounded by people who make you feel unsafe and disrespected is worse. I know sometimes there are situations in which people cannot safely set these boundaries, I hope it's not your case, but if it is feel free to come here to vent again.

I know you don't want to isolate yourself from goyim. Many Jewish people don't want to. Sadly, when people disrespect us like this, they're the ones isolating us. It's not your fault. Seek people who love and accept you. Sadly, a good chunk of goyim won't - I'm not saying everyone, obviously, but a portion. Having a good Jewish support network seems to be more and more important, whether it's irl or online.

I hope you can soon be in an environment that's safer and more accepting

- 🐺

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey cas, i just need to rant

I'm crying rn and i need to tell someone this

Ok this is a stupid way to start this but my duolingos nit working. Fine not a big deal. I went and told my mom and she didnt even let me show it to her and told me to get my dad to help me bc she doesnt know how. So later when my dad was awake i told him the problem and she was there. My dad was trying to figure it out and she asked if she could see my phone. The thing is whenever she asks to see my phone to fix something i end up seeing something and realising i might know how to fix it so i ask if i can have it back to try the thing and sge always yells at me and rips my phone out of my hand and says i have no right to touch it because its not really my phone. So i asked her what she was going to do on it because i think I've tried everything and i don't think it's going to help especially if shes not the one talking to the support people (my dad was). She got mad and said to stop complaining and give her the phone i calmly explained what i just did hiw when she tries to help it isn't helpful and it always ends in fights because she never allows my input (very calmly like i was literally just explaining my thought process and why i think it would do more bad than good) she interuppted my yelling and said that if when people ask to help me and i just call them mean and whatever then people aren't going to want to happen (side note the difference is everyone else who offers me help i am allowed to say no and choose wether or not to explain why as well) and then said if i dont accept help graciously then i don't deserve anything. (I have bad mental health and she knows that to an extent) so now im crying

And i KNOW if i were to bring this up in the future she would say "i dont remember that. That didnt happen. Youre making that up"

Every time i try to communicate how im feeling and why i feel that some things she does or says may be hurtful and damaging she takes it as a personal attack. I've been trying to get better at communicating my needs and feeling but everytime i do she makes me feel like im doing something wrong.

Sometimes i get so overwhelmed I'll start crying out of nowhere or yell or something and she'll either say im being dramatic or literally laugh in my face.

Thank you and sorry for punctuation and spelling mistakes i probably made a ton

Hi!

I can relate to this SO much, omg. My mom is just like this, and it makes you feel so crazy, right?

Please know you have a right to your feelings and if you communicated the way you say you did, you did nothing wrong! Unfortunately it sounds like your mom has some things to work out about not taking things personally.

As someone who also deals with this, I have to say that sometimes picking your battles is key. While in a healthy relationship, sharing your feelings is super important, with a relationship like this, it could just make things worse. So a lot of times I just ask myself- 'is it worth the potential fallout?' sometimes, if it's something really hurtful, it is. But sometimes, I just let her make stupid decisions. SO like in this case, maybe next time you could give her your phone, let her realize she can't help, and then move on to whatever the next step is. Because she's probably not going to listen to you, you know?

It sucks to have to think like this, especially as the child in the relationship, but it might be reality.

Sending love! Naming you duolingo anon

[bluebellhairpin]

i need to talk about this rn i'm sorry but i've been having baby fever and been thinking so much about erwin as a dad 😞🩷 (cw pregnancy)

firstly, he suspects you're pregnancy before you do. he's so observant and knows you so well, so when you start to look tired, or have cravings/aversions to certain foods you didn't before, he takes note. what seals it for him is when he notices your pet (let's say a dog) clinging to you. of course they like you, but now it seems they don't want you out of their sight, might even growl whenever he tries to touch you in their presence. and of course, he notices if you haven't yet had your period (he doesn't even need an app he just remembers your usual time of month) but of course he is considerate that you may want to surprise him, and he is gracious enough to be surprised and over the moon with you when you tell him because of course the confirmation is better than the suspicion. he does admit to knowing already later on, but how can you be mad that he pays attention so well??

and when you get rounder, you learn quickly the baby has a preference for his voice. if the baby is hiding from you in the belly or keeps kicking when you want to rest, they only listen to his voice, he'll say something like "Be kind to your mother," and the child will literally stop and you're just like " •_•"

also he will absolutely hire someone to help with cleaning and cooking while you recover postpartum, make sure you don't have to lift a finger for anything besides the baby and your own wellness. even after the first couple weeks and the person he hired is gone, he'll still do most of the cleaning and cooking while you recover because he understands that while you focus on cariny for the baby, he has to focus on caring for you. he will also want to be involved with learning about how to best care for the baby as much as possible (he becomes a master at burping 😌)

and the first time you guys drop the child off at daycare, he's pretty straightfaced and serious to anyone looking at him, gives a quick hug and a kiss to his little one but mainly focuses on making sure everything is accounted for in their bag and lunchkit. the staff might think he's too cold and aloof to be so unemotional about his child's first day at daycare, but what they don't know is that the second he gets in the car and out of the kiddo's sight he puts his hand over his face and starts weeping softly, holding your hand so tightly with the other because his baby is getting so big so fast and he's proud but also sad after hearing them cry as soon as you both walked out.

he just becomes the most wonderful father and husband and loves his family with everything he has ☺️🩷

ik I told u like two days ago I was letting this cook and I'd answers that night but OOF i forgot. however i've enjoyed being reminded each time I went into my ask box! I read though it each time! loved it so much! anyway i'm gonna pop som thoughts below so this doesn't get too long for the poor people who don't wanna be Erwin's baby mama's lol <3

cw pregnancy for below

I very much headcanon Erwin as an observant man, so I 100% agree with the notion that he notices you're pregnant before you do. the food tastes changing, the sickness (the dog! (in my little world there's a dog! (his name is Atticus))) - the notes it all away but the little shit says nothing. he might partially be being considerate and letting you tell him, but i also think he isn't above waiting how long it take you to figure it out after he does. it's like a little bet he has with himself lol

AND THE BABY LIKING HIS VOICE ofc my child would only listen to Erwin smh. that's kinda so funny to me though, I love that idea. maybe Erwin spoke quietly for a while and the baby was real still, you kind of panicked a little, but as soon as Erwin went "oh my god, What?!" the babe went wild as if to say "oh, daddy is here! yay! he didn't leave us alone!" bc yk. the baby is a little shit too just like it's dad.

He also totally doesn't like the idea of you lifting a finger. he says your body is busy making a whole human being, don't you dare make him dinner too, making it himself is the least he can do. I also firmly believe afterwards he's a very hands on dad. yeah perhaps he'll keep some hired help around for the days where e's not there, but when he is there? you're surprised he isn't run off his feet. the man has so much energy for being so chill and stoic. he'd be out here being dad, mum, housekeeper, cook, taxi AND CEO, and still cuddle up to you at the end of the day and wanna attempt to ENTHUSIASTICALY put ANOTHER baby in you.

thEN the picture of him breaking after dropping your kid off for their first day! my heart! he is such a softie. big fucking teddy bear. full of marshmallows and clouds. he can look cold and aloof all he likes but we know the truth. we've seen him cry while watching both The Good Dinosaur and Bluey. he can't hide from us.

[depression-c0re]

current!sami yaffa x Michael Monroe’s daughter headcannons also nsfw and big age gap

(I’m sick of waiting for someone to read my other post and write this for me so ima do it even though I suck at writing also I’m writing headcannons bc it’s easier and less work)(also a few details reader is a girl obviously also in the story reader is about 23 just to let y’all know)

warnings⚠️⚠️:age gap, mentions of pedophilia, mentions of pregnancy (I think), smut, maybe some cursing

if I missed any warnings please tell me

-ok starting off you and Sami obviously have a very big age gap around a 37 years actually

-when y’all started dating and you told Michael he obviously freaked out (bc he’s our fav Barbie drama queen)

-also because it’s his daughter is dating one of his best friends who also helped raise her

-it took awhile but sooner or later he came around to it seeing how much Sami loved you and how happy he made you☺️

-now onto y’all’s relationship dynamic

-Sami’s love language is definitely physical touch I see him being to shy for words of affirmation but he’ll do it every once in a while I also feel like he loves gift giving

-he absolutely loves when you hold him and baby him it doesn’t matter how big y’all’s age gap is he still loves being babied by you(no one can change my mind on that)

-speaking of babies if y’all had a kid he would love them so much it’s not even funny

-I have a feeling he’s extremely good with kids idk why

-also he would have the best fashion advice for you like he would always help pick out outfits for you when you don’t know what to wear

-while he helps pick out what you where he also helps you out of it at the end of the night(iykyk)

-you can not tell me this man is not a sucker for tits and thighs bro

-will absolutely suck on your tits and leave hickeys on your tits and thighs

-absolutely loves being bottom his fav position is cowgirl because you can control him or he can control you

-absolutely will not force you to do anything you don’t wanna do and respects you boundaries

-but also will do anything you wanna do kink wise

-like he does not care he will literally try whatever you wanna do with him

-absolutely loves you

-has written many songs about you

-and yes sometimes they get published and Michael has to sing them💀

-when it got revealed to the public y’all were dating every one freaked out some people outa happiness and some in anger

-most people loved y’all’s relationship and their were so many cute post from y’all’s supportive fans saying how cute you and Sami are

-then there were the people posting about y’all’s age gap and how it was pedophilia and shit because he helped raise you but you didn’t care honestly you had Sami and your dad and that’s all you needed

-seeing as you grew up around Sami he knew everything you liked and how you liked it

-he could name your coffee order by heart if you asked him to

-if you had tattoos he would absolutely love them kissing touching and tracing them every time you are together

-always has an arm around you ESPECIALLY at social events that the band is at

-he is definitely overprotective of you not in like a controlling way but in a concerned trying to make sure you don’t get hurt/uncomfortable kind of way

-will absolutely let you sit on his lap(but also his face in the bedroom)

-ALWAYS and I mean always gives you a kiss before and after a concert

-adores when you wear his clothes

-you wanna know a way you can instantly turn him on wear his shirt with just panties on nothing else just his shirt and panties

-he will literally die of hornyness on the spot

-lives for when you braid his hair randomly

-braiding his hair is literally the best way to calm him down if he’s mad upset or stressed about something

ok that’s all for now I might write more later but I have no more ideas if you have any ideas tell me also, I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes. I suck at spelling.

[double--hh]

For some reason, I find that pic of Rosemary and ghost SK Francis oddly sweet. Like you have the ghost of a serial killer looming over the child of the man who stole his beloved wife away. (BTW Francis doesn’t spare children either. He killed a few babies fyi. What I thought ghost Francis would do is possess Angie’s body and mutilate himself in front of Nacha and her two children as a form of punishment but it’s up to you). He obviously hates that she’s Angus and Nacha’s child. Nacha only belongs to him. But somehow I’m sensing some kind of warmth in their little relationship? Rosemary shouldn’t be hanging around ghost Francis but I feel like he’s warming up to her? Is he? Does he begin to like her. Because I’m starting to think he slowly begins to like her and began seeing her as his own child to make up for what he’s lost. That’s what he’d do honestly.

Also does ghost Francis have any problems with Anastacha and her girlfriend? It’s not because they’re lesbians. He’s not homophobic I can guarantee you. That’s the least of his worries. He’s just mad that his daughter has a partner without his permission. Does he do anything to disrupt their dates? But I think he’s angry at his daughter for betraying him. That’s the main reason.

And if Quachil is that power hungry in this AU, what about her relationship with Yog?

~ SK Francis anon 🔪

I wanted to depict Rosie and Franny having like an imaginary friend relationship. Heres the kicker...

Rosemary doesn't know who Franics is.

Nobody told her about Francis.

She knows Anastacha is her half sister, yes, but was never told nor asked about her father. She just thinks, "Haha, the funny milkman is making my Raggedy Anne dollie dance!" Francis says to her to never tell her parents nor Ana that she can see him.

Franics used to scare her initially but 100% warms up to her bc she reminds him of when Anastacha was a kid.

Downside is when Anastacha see's Franics' ghost talking to Rosemary. She flips and holds Rosemary close to her and curses him out.

Franics would've been like, "Wait you're one of them queers?!" /ref

But fr, he was shocked to see his little girl all grown up. Suzanna can't see him.

Oh yes he bothers them on their dates. Anastacha has to assure Suzanna that she's not scowling bc she's angry but because her dad is hitting the griddy behind her.

And Quachil & Yog's relationship is actually very good, since I think the nightmares operate as their own person. Yog fully supports Quachil.

However, Yog feels... empty, without purpose now that Francis is dead. He tells Quachil to not bother to spare him for Year Zero, he really wants her to spread her wings and find her right people </3

[astralartefact]

FFXIV Dawntrail Review Part 1 - Where I tell you if I liked it and also Bingo(?)

This post contains spoilers for all of Dawntrail's Main Story up until the Ending!

Hmm.

I'm a little bit embarrassed to write this. I genuinely didn't expect this. Should I have? No. I was perfectly right to not see this coming.

I really loved Dawntrail. Like. You don't understand.

I don't really rank the FFXIV Expansions (except that Heavensward is last) but Dawntrail might be up there. It's 2:00 am and I will probably delete this when I reread it when I have slept over it, but I might genuinely call this my favorite X.0 so far. (read over it and at least for now i will stand by it) (keep in mind most enjoyed =/= best and "best art" doesn't exist)

I know it won't be popular in the community, I've already known that 30% through and by the many, many posts proudly announcing that they do not like Wuk Lamat it seems like that Dawntrail truly will be Stormblood 2.0 in the eyes of the public - but what can I say, I loved it. I had a fantastic time.

There is a bunch of criticisms I've read that I disagree with. I thought the WoLs place in the story was great. What do you people mean by 'We're not the main character anymore' it has literally always been like this except that usually we don't only have one dedicated Expansion Character that gets this much of a monopoly on screentime (see Ryne) - by which I mean, are you jealous? - but also that isn't 'bad', they're allowed to do that and I liked it. also how do you go through this expansion and arrive at "we weren't the main character" - bro, everybody told us at every corner how happy they are we're here bc without us none of this would remotely work. also they literally teased the key is an azem thing clearly this is build up for something

I liked the pacing, I enjoyed the slowburn build-up of Wuk going through the nuances of her people's individual problems before turning to the actual crisis. I know people are big mad that the MSQ gameplay is mainly just Fetch Quests and Cutscenes - which is something we'll get back to - but tbh I didn't even think it was that bad? I feel like we had expansions that were far worse about it....

I also loved Wuk Lamat! I liked that she grew relatively quickly and continouosly, aside from the Seasickness Joke they repeated too often, and I was surprised how much genuinely smart and thought through things she added to the conversation. One example I remember is her bringing up that she would rather learn and fix why people are committing crimes in the first place instead of just 'adding police' - without anybody prompting her to learn that. I don't know, I just really appreciated that.

I even liked Bakool Ja Ja, there I said it. I knew people would be really mad about Wuk just forgiving him and his dad especially after the kind of stuff they did - the internet has become really weird about forgiveness the past few years especially if it's "unearned" whatever that means - but like, you guys know this is a story, right, he didn't threaten to murder someone in real life. Immersion is good and all, but you know you're playing FF14, right, a game that's 50% a Saturday Morning Cartoon, 50% Game of Thrones for a Young Adult Audience. also it's kind of necessary for the theme of the whole narrative for him to do something we 'hate' him for more than the others - and i guess i would agree that they could have written the details around it better - but what's there is there for a reason. if you want to know more that's what Part 2 is going to be for.

Which brings me back to the Fetch Quests. Listen, I'm not really defending anything here, I do agree that the MSQ gameplay could probably be a little more engaging - There's just a thing I thought that keeps coming up in other contexts too:

At which point does this become a "Consumer Problem" instead of a "Developer Problem"?

We're five expansions in. If all expansions before have been structurally exactly like this, at which point is it your problem for expecting it to be different. What I mean is, if you played four parts of a Visual Novel and then you play part 5 and complain that the gameplay is getting stale, I hope we can agree that, like, that's a you problem. If you don't want to read then why are you playing a Visual Novel.

Again, I'm not really trying to 'defend' the core issue - even Serialized Mediums, for all the security their regularity brings them, should mix it up a little sometimes and expressing that want as an audience member is completely fine with me - but I feel like this is also at least a little bit a perspective issue. Like. I'm so sorry to tell you that this is just the game you're playing. This probably won't change and it's probably better to not expect it to for your own sake - and yes, I'm so sorry but to some degree navigating your experience of this game is your own responsibility. What I'm saying is Skip Dialogue if you're bored. Farm a Dungeon. Are you guys not doing Fates on your way to a quest marker? I keep seeing people say 'I didn't fight against a single monster as part of the msq' - Well, That wasn't a problem I had, I fought constantly! There are monsters right there for you to fight! Like. Make your own fun!

Anyways, time to look at my bingo card!

(My WoL = Happened, Krile = Depending on who you ask, Sphene = Jury is still out) Certainly better than my Endwalker one!!

One thing I noticed while playing Dawntrail is how bitter exactly Myths of the Realm has made me about this game and i'm so sad!! Like, how did I forget how completely this game is made specifically for me. I will just fail to not like it, because I get it and it gets me. at least until 8.0 when whoever wrote Myths of the Realm gets to write the expansion

Let's go through the noteable ones.

ill-advised azem lore drop - is in hot water, because they did seem to imply that the novelty wine glass of shard travel has to do with azem.

someone sundered knows more than us - krile's parents count and also Gagool Ja Ja's party too to some extent

the forgotten people went to tural - for two seconds!!! technically correct!!!

questionable armor design choices - some of the second dye slots. choices were made.

somebody "important" (but not too important) dies - i didn't expect them to write meaningful side character deaths, but they did so... i guess on a technicality i win?

the twelfth shard is involved // they talk about sundering meta physics

this room. they're so mean. they talk about the silly masks but not about the fact that apparently whatever shard this is either has three moons or two other planets in its solar system. you knew what you were doing q_q

y:da did it better - hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM A FOOL! MEGUMI ONOZUKA! I KNOW THIS WAS YOUR DOING AND YOU CANNOT HIDE ANY LONGER! YOU ARE NOW ON MY LIST OF NAMES TO SHOUT!!!! If my theory in Part 2 turns out incorrect then I'm so sorry about this, buT IF I'M NOT THEN---!!!!

Shaaloani did not win me over - it being the padding zone really didn't help.

Erenville did not Outfit Change - but given the ending he's probably going to at some point. And I hope he stays around :)

who needs eternal life anyways - They tried to be a little bit more understanding about it and make it a "it's just not worth what it costs" sort of thing, but they did still say at least once - verbatim! - that "Eternal Life is Bad, Full Stop, you people suck and are failing the human game by not dying"

Something Actually Unexpected Happens - I was surprised by the Final Zone. Maybe it's not Actually Unexpected because in a way it's just "Amaurot meets What Myths of the Realm should have been" - but if that doesn't count I still didn't expect the devs to fully ugly down that zone when you're done with it lol. Shutting down the first one and realizing they didn't just mean it would be left empty, it's dead and fully without music physically hurt and it made going through the other three hurt so much more. I loved it. Like. Wow.

I guess to that, I was indeed reminded of Myths of the Realm - but not in the way I intended this square to be so I didn't mark it. Like. I wrote this in another post but how were these two in development at the same time???? What??? They come to radically different conclusions on the exact same premise and the only difference is that one is about Religion and the other about Eternal Life????

Was the last zone the original draft for Myths of the Realm and then they were like 'no that's too good, let's do that in the MSQ instead' and then they panicked and produced godly waste?? God, I kind of hope, that would mean that whoever wrote it didn't wholeheartedly mean what they wrote.

I'm not willing to let Wuk Lamat Distaste be Asinine Community Reaction - sadly that was to be expected given how people still fervently hate Lyse. Similarly I haven't looked into what funny theme changing English Localization Moment they decided to add to the plot today. Btw German Localization, you are as always my heroes. Don't let the Haters tell you different, I will always love you!!! I wanted to screenshot your names in the credits for this but i HIT THE WRONG BUTTON SOMEHOW

Anyways, look forward to Part 2 where I will talk some more about why exactly I really like Dawntrail - which is mainly the Themes - about why I think Megumi Onozuka is to blame and about YORHA DARK APOCALYPSE, THAT'S RIGHT, I WILL NEVER BE FREE

[theskyexists]

The golden enclaves

Ok so i like how this starts with: Orion has been unutterably stupid

Please tell me that we will find out why

This was devastating.

But also WHY IS ORION SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT HE PROMISED TO GO WITH HER AND INSTEAD HE MADE HER LOSE HIM FOR NO REASON TO A FUCKING MAWMOUTH LIKE HER DAD WAS FUCKING LOST BUT NOT KILLED BECAUSE THE VICTIMS DONT DIE THEYRE DIGESTED FOREVER IN ETERNAL PAIN Jezus Naomi god it really is horrific what is up with this

Also, and I say this with absolute extreme disdain, El seriously only just now realised that she has perfect combat synergy with Orion and she COULD have destroyed Patience and freed her father from the eternal torment of being digested? Like......seriously? Did Liesel not even realise this, who is the only one with any brains? (I realise that Liesel at least had different priorities)

Also I am going to explain Orion's craziness and personality change in book 2 as such: he didn't have any mals to eat and so he went mad. He decided, like the piece of shit that he is, that he'd prefer to do months of battle against mals because at least he wouldn't be hungry.

The funny thing is that book 2 ESTABLISHED that El has ZERO absolutely ZERO idea of what goes on in Orion's head. Like. She doesn't get him AT ALL. So her prevaricating on how he's so misunderstood and pushed to be what everybody sees in him - he ALREADY TOLD YOU HE JUST LOVES EATING MALS HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING HE JUST LOVES EATING MALS EL STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND PROJECTING YOUR OWN SHIT ON THIS POOR BOY

She's literally comparing herself to him again. Look he was a hero and I was an evil witch. Everybody thought that and wanted that from us. EL HE DIDNT FUCKING CARE OK????? Worse, (and it makes sense in this moment), she somehow threads her mum's direct look at his soul into this narrative as some kind of reinforcement of it. He didn't care El. He didn't care. He's just a hungry boy.....

In fact, I cannot remember her classmates ever hating El. Because....they didn't even know she was fated to be an evil witch archetype? They just avoided her bc she wasn't an asset to their survival they thought which was so absurdly idiotic since EL IS A GODDAMN MAL EXTERMINATOR and she never told anyone because of her stupid fucking hangups she could have been a fucking prep and made everybody's lives so much better so much earlier

'because he thought it was his job to make a way out for everybody but him'

This is why I didn't like the second book so much. El is so obviously delusional about this guy.

I cannot STAND IT!!!! HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU HE HAS NO HERO COMPLEX EL!!!! YOU WERE HAVING YOUR LOVELY FIRST TRY AT SEX WITH THIS COOL GUY AND HE SAID: NAH EL. I JUST LIKE TO EAT!!! MALS!!!!!

And the weird thing is she GOT it. When she was getting his mana as he was zipping around pulverising them she was like: OH he loves this. I guess I was wrong. So why are we back here??? Or do I remember that wrong??

I've forgotten how the magic system works. Shit. Malia? Oh yeah.... There was some sort of prophecy. She was gonna bring the enclaves down and kill lots of people or soemthing. so why the fuck did they leave the payment open???

Oh yeaaaahhh the enclaves got hit

"She really did an excellent job of making it seem perfectly ludicrous for me to be living quietly in my own home instead of keeping close tabs on the latest news from international wizarding circles."

LOL

Can seriously nothing kill a mawmouth but El? How is that even POSSIBLE. How did enclaves ever work then? The moment a mawmouth gets in its over

How the fuck is Liesel THIS good at manipulating El. Oh my god.

Her saying: hey bitch, stop feeling sorry for yourself, your boyfriend being dead, no thank you by the way for saving all of ours lives, I don't care about your other problems, or that you might want a break from the horrors with your mum, also come help me out with the worst most insanely horrible creature in the world AGAIN because I know only you can do it. Bitch. Your house sucks

That worked....

She's going to London to fight another fucking Mawmouth - something her mother doesn't even KNOW SHES DONE YET - and leaves her behind without even a hug of goodbye. AFTER FOR YEARS OF TERROR. I honestly....I'm speechless. I started to suspect El was insanely dumb in book 2 but damn, she really is perhaps the dumbest protag I have ever known barring Korra

I love Liesel. Liesel saw El, FOR WHAT SHE WAS, and she CALLED HER OUT,, and said: you are such a stupid fucking idiot. In book 2. Thank god she's around. She's the only good thing out of book 2 really in my opinion. She says to El: you are insanely powerful. You could change the whole world. Now DO IT! Stop sniveling in the fucking dirt!

Ok there we go. There's my El. 'i eyed him in enormous irritation' her fucking disdain for the preps is my endless delight. Even to her enormous personal disadvantage.

Oh I see. It's like Naomi novik read my harry potter post about the wizards being the Fae.

I remember reinterpreting els prophecy into its super obvious good meaning but can't remember what it was.

How the fuck can Enclaves be based in Malia if that's not allowed (murder? But that's illegal.)

Oh what??? There's still working wizards out there working on keeping the enclave running??? Oh damn. Ok so the class hierarchy becomes explicitly about adult production.

Liesel made her angry again. Made El who she is again.

Why isn't everybody fucking fleeing dude??? Why are there still even people there? Grt the fuck out! The enclave is compromised! Get out with your damn lives you preps!

Oh my god. Go after it! It's fucking going after someone else!!! Oh my god go after it guys!!! IT WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM EL???? CAN MAWMOUTHS KNOW SUCH THINGS?

I have to say. Naomi made a deeply op protag and is now taking a more powerful hammer to the self-delusion that El mysteriously developed about her own power.

Liesel, impervious to El's natural intimidation vibes.

Oof i love all the delicate injustices and horrors in Liesel's life. Ok no. I no longer do. It's too painful

'“So it’s better to have power, and it’s stupid not to take it when you have the chance.'

Yeah. In fact. If I was Liesel I'd be beyond furious at El. Somebody so gifted, SO powerful, and she's just pissing it all away.

Jezus christ. Jezus christ! Liesel! A sensible person of intelligence????

Oh right. The prophecy. Killing thousands doom destruction. WHO IS GETTING KILLED EL COME ON THINK!!! THINK FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODSDAMNED LIFE!!!!! or tell Liesel about the stupid prophecy and she'll do it for you -_-

It was a nice thought though, letting the commuters into the garden but damn, yeah they're gonna obviously only be enthralled.

A TERTIARY ORDER ENTITY.

LIESEL WAS TRYING TO SNAG EL THE ELDRITCH WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE IS FOR HER HIGHLY EFFECTIVE POWER THROUPLE?

And I mean. Alfie is literally bound to El too. Wait. Is Orion actually not coming back...? Are we never getting answers? El's gonna fall for Alfie and Liesel? No....

Love how Liesel and Alfie protectively jump up and go: OUR entity. Lol

Oh ok so the compulsions off. She doesn't think he'd help her after she saved his dad, his home, oh yeah saved the whole school that he felt responsible for, and didn't even insist on keeping him as a slave.

I must admit, I did not at all expect El to be hanging out with Alfie and Liesel after all that. I thought, more like her team, but yeah they're not exactly in England. Isn't there travelling magic. Also I expect that Claire or whatever had a family member eaten by the mawmouth.

I was thinking that: won't commute from an enclave be really dangerous? So. Yes. But like. Why then even work for them. Oh ok so you could just go live in a villages with a few other wizards in a circle

Sometimes novik is not consistent about the vulnerability of adult wizards. But this description seems more apt.

Liesel coming in to say 'stop it!' to eldritch monster entity El like she isn't going over the deep end suddenly and very badly. And succeeding. And then getting Yancy to say what El wants to know. Wow they're a good team. I propose Orion/El/Liesel/Alfie super extreme power ..... Thing? Uh. Bridge structure?

El seriously is like: hm. Why is Liesel helping me now? Already turned her down....

El. You saved the whole school. You made that possible. You killed three MAWMOUTHS. You treat Liesel like a person you respect. You are a fucking entity who could do incredible things with a whole lot of help on the bits you suck so terribly at. Liesel owes you, thinks you're a good person, and is probably genuinely into you, also you need HELP. In so many damn ways. Being sensible, getting around in the world, being smart, getting it together.

Liesel has the most practical magic in the world. Wait. Holy fuck. Is Liesel like...Hermione???? Like powerful power top Hermione???

Wow. Damn. Amazing sex scene here. It makes me laugh in delight almost. Wow Liesel is an insanely stabilising influence. Literally kissing the trauma out of her head for a bit. (Edit: uh is there a fanfic version of this out there...?)

There was something so absolutely wrong with Orion and everybody kept trying to tell El and she never saw it because he became a person FOR HER. And she keeps trying to blame his family but his family probably endlessly tried to connect with him but he was just hunting mals. His father responding like this- just absolutely devastated over Orion finally having acted like a human being with somebody is enormous proof. Uh yeah and the rest of the chapter confirms this explicitly.

It really is harry potter but cooler and grittier and more horrifying and more interesting. Our dark'ness dementia ravenway.... The bit about how really witches when caught up in the witch hunt really can't get themselves out because the 'mundanes' negate it by the disbelief.... A direct reference to Rowling's note about witches making the fire tickle and going in for multiple rounds. Also the whimsical magic. But it doesn't have that magic to the magic. It's uneasy.

Man. So that's why novik repeated el's misconceptions of Orion in her time of grief. To finally disembowel them conclusively later in this book.

Yeah. The big question is. Why did Orion become a human being for El?

I love how aadhya and Chloe and Liesel are all instantly INSTANTLY like oh fuck El sees evil she's evil. They are still an extremely well oiled team

Ok but like, El could just grab new York's mana pool right. But yeah she'd become like ophelia

Lol right. By destroying so many mals ( i really didn't think the estimation had been 92 percent but ok) the enclaves lose their power. That's how El has already smashed them....

Oh wow. I forgot about that malia is stealing life force.... And mals come from Malia....

Which means.....that Ophelia is a huge maleficar and Orion is a big old mal. But she certainly is smart enough to say: we should look into reproducing what you did

Damn.ophelia is smart. She's really doing some magic economics

I really didn't know enclaves were built on malia. I think that's a retcon actually. Not just that El didn't know though also that naturally. It's to make this numbers game fit - to say - there's another numbers game beneath the numbers game - to make the mana and malia interactions fit. And well done novik for that

Because the golden enclave really does become the better solution.

I'm not sure how El going in to kill patience is going to help her recover the scholomance though. I mean. Turns out El could have just cleaned the whole place up all along but yknow. I already knew that.

Why did they ever even send Orion away. They could have just unleashed him endlessly on the enclave's mals. Probably infinitely safer and more pleasant for the enclaves children.

Is El really going forward with this? His mum is a maleficer oh poor poor hero boy Orion.... He was never loved. HE LOVED THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR THE MALS EL NOT BECAUSE HIS MOM HIS AN ETHICAL EVIL MAGIC HACKER

Oh no...please tell me that isn't Chloe's only role. She came late to the team but she was fourth!

Aadhya??? WHAT is Liesel's deal? Uhhhh she ran the whole thing? She made everything possible? Do you think she did that because she's a steely selfish bitch? No.

It was a moment of both weakness and total insanity in the literal senses of the word. So maybe you can thank Liesel for sexing El back into a somewhat functional state Aad

'Liesel made an impatient dismissive gesture. “Yes! You have a hook in her yourself. And why will we yank on these hooks? To make her protect us, save our lives? She will do that for strangers, for nothing. What else? You are her ally. Have you asked her to do anything for you? To make someone give you an enclave place, or an artificer contract? Why not?Because you are also a great martyr, who does not want these things?” She snorted as Aadhya scowled at her. “No! You don’t ask because you know she would say no. I tried asking myself. But she will do nothing selfish for herself, much less anyone else. And she is not wrong,” she added, in a grudging tone of having been unwillingly persuaded. “She is too powerful. Once she started, there would be nowhere to stop. So there is only one use of our hooks: to help her stop. You had better be glad that I have one, and hold tight to yours, too.”'

I fucking love Liesel. What the fuck

Lololololol

Oh my god. El angry at Liesel AGAIN for....offering exactly what she needs and wants and doing so perfectly. Lolololololloll

Oh my god is this the garden in sintra with all its fun fake-magic masonry caves and structures???

IT IS!!! I LOVE THAT GARDEN!!! If you're just out to chill and stroll and tramp around lovely fake natural structures that still look cool!

Sad the characters are experiencing such frustration in such a lovely place.

Adult Disneyland....you're killing me novik. It really was a nice place. I mean I was there when there weren't many other people. It was just nice gardens with caves.

Novik describes the portalling system for the scholomance. Yes. It still doesn't make any sense.

Ok but like the gardens are closed at night. Mals can get in no problem.

What im getting from this is that i had incredible timing and normally that garden is packed with horrible tourists

So....how is it that El has a direct link to New York's mana pool THROUGH the pool right into the scholomance?? Because all the wards are down? Ok but uhhhhh it's out in the void??? That's the whole point

UHHHH actually El I don't think you felt Patience scrying for Orion you just felt Orion

How the fuck is Liesel like, exactly the sharp cold sense that El actually WANTS every time?

Ohh ok so Ophelia somehow did make Orion as he is. Somehow.

Well OBVIOUSLY the Malia source is fucking horrible if it can bring an enclave into being. Like come on. Probably produces a mawmouth or something. And you gotta feed it 50 people or whateve

Damn. They're gonna turn Liu into a mawmouth. Its a sacrifice. Uh Novik. You better not go there.

Wow they were gonna make Liu a mawmouth and make her eat her closest full grown wizard family? I think so. Lets see. Go El!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE WORST AND MOST POWERFUL MAL? WHAT IS THE GREATEST PIECE OF MAGIC AND MALIA? AN ENCLAVE

fucking hell. They're squeezing Liu into a mawmouth. Fuck.

No..her hand...

When I am very moved by a scene, i read it out, the first time. This was the scene.

Oof. Orion just ate some wizards. Surely he has less deadly weapons???? He really is a mal

Uh

Oh he actually really is a maw mouth mal? He's a fucking maw mouth? Her dads now inside fortitude inside patience inside Orion, still getting endlessly tortured. Uh...

'for all I knew' NO. DEFINITELY YOUR DAD

Well idk he's had pretty good control so far. Just unfortunate those damn Beijing council guys tried to kill El

Aadhya and Liesel going into negotiations as proxies for El who'd absolutely fuck them up lol

What a coincidence! You wanted to go to India. Now youve been invited to India! She gets angry

OH. MY. GOD. El actually learned a lesson. Asking for help. And of the right person. Liesel.

Wait a minute. She's been destroying the enclaves. By destroying the maw mouths. The maw mouths REMAIN the foundation. So those 'random' attacks. They were her destroying the enclave foundations while still on scholomance. They're lined up.

So if she kills this maw mouth - but still, why wouldn't her new foundation hold up. Oh she realises it completely too. Shit. I forgot that Salta and Bangkok simply died. She did that

Well honestly, Orion isn't such a bad solution, except the mawmouths in him don't die and also apparently he can't help himself eat people now....

LIESEL KNEW???????? WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!! SHES EVEN SMARTER THAN ME??????

Then surely there must be a foundation in the scholomance. And perhaps Orion is now carrying the mawmouth that pins it.

What the fuck do you mean this ain't a trolley problem. Just start in on propping up all the damn foundations with some real ones El. Then go on a lil maw mouth hunt

Ok but she doesn't even call her mother. Right. She can't. Forgot. She doesn't even DREAM AT HER MOTHER. Or some other magical communication. Not even about the family welcoming her after all or the true meaning of the prophecy

Actually since when is El capable of just catching others spells. And get mana from them?? Like some sort of scholomance? Oh yeah she s just so horrridly op

She's....catching bullets out of the air. And...turning people into stone temporarily with them. Fucking absolute lol

I get the sense that novik got lost in the Sintra garden... Like multiple times. Which is very hilarious because my god. It is very easy.

So weird to have fond and vague memories of this precise settting

Ok so i was right. And Naomi novik is a little bit of a genius for this. Real Orion, the realest Orion, was the Orion of book 1. The genuine hero. When there were fewer and fewer mals to eat in book 2, he became more and more maw mouth, started behaving strangely.

Oof. Better run El. He's about to start..... Eating.

What a fucking BASTARD. COULD HAVE AT LEAST HELD ON ONTO EL WAS NOT AT LEAST S HUNDRED STEPS AWAY

Damn El people are getting EATEN OVER THERE HELLO STOP FUCKING STALLING

The thing is all this time I've been thinking CANT YOU KILL THE BITS AND NOT THE BOY. KILL THE MAW MOUTH BITS BUT NOT THE BOY? THE BOY ISNT SOME ORGAN THAT CANT BE AUTONOMOUS. YOU COULD SURELY EXTRACT HIM WHOLE BECAUSE HE IS. YOU HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL INDIVIDUALLY REALLY ANYWAY

Oh my god. No

She did something much more

Damn. I remember wishing el would become child guardian in the scholomance but it's true that Orion would also do very well

But he's not getting mana out ...wait. he can still extract mana out of mals he snaps into the void? Uh ok.

That book made a lot of sense. And was very very very good.

[luvrxbunny]

Let’s start with my mom: My mom is not the worst mom. I love her so much that it hurts. She could just be better like all the other parents in the world. Like once she kicked me out of the house bc of my stepdad who cheated on her multiple times and treated her like absolute shit. She would purposely put my little sister off to the side (which doesn’t make sense bc my step dad is her father😭) and would put her on me and my older sister. She used to constantly criticized me on how my hair looked, how I dressed,and more. But that motivated me. I changed up my wardrobe, started learning how to do my hair, bought makeup, everything. I did it not only bc of what she would say but what people at school would say. Which when I told her I was getting bullied at school, she told me to just stand up for myself and when I told her I didn’t know how, she would ridicule me about that too. Another time she flat out told me I wasn’t wanted. AT A PUBLIC POOL. There were worse times than others but I’m glad I still have a good relationship with my mom. Not everyone is as lucky as me

Now my dad on the other hand, fuck him. First off, when I was growing up he was a poor excuse of a father. He still is but that’s wtv🙄. He would bail on me at times even though he promised. And when his health got worse, he started to treat me like a maid. I do currently live with my dad and for the past few months, I have to do almost everything for him. He’s always like “Kenya do this for me” and “Kenya do that for me”. He asks me for so much that sometimes he pays me. I cook for him, I clean for him sometimes, I get things for him and what I don’t do, my grandma does. And let me tell you, my grandma is a strong woman bc I would have gave up a long time ago if I was her. This man is ungrateful, lazy, a piece of shit, and a overall bad person. He smells first of all at his big grown age, my grandma cleans up after him, and the reason I say he’s ungrateful is bc recently when he got back from the hospital bc of a knee injury, my grandma had stripped his bed and he got mad. He said and I quote “I told her what to do and she just did whatever she wanted to do.” So I said “you’re lucky she washed anything. Just ungrateful.” And this dumbass nigga had the audacity to say to me “I didn’t ask for your fucking attitude Kenya. You sit in here and let her do the shit.” Referring to her stripping his bed and cleaning his sheets. I just walked off before I hurt him bc he can be such a pain in the fucking ass, you know? Like y grandma is not getting any younger and you’re just putting more stress on her. And what kills me is he got a degree and never did anything with it bc he’s a failure. Why go to college and never have a career? What makes me mad about that is some people never got the chance to go to college and you just threw your life away like nothing? And he can’t even blame it on his health bc ITS HIS FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE. It’s all those years of terrible eating and unhealthy decisions that got you in this place.

I could really talk about my dad for hours and how much I hate that man. But what’s crazy is I would still be sad if he died. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t though

okay babes why are you almost me

i’m the same way with my mom, like she’s almost my best friend, we have a pretty good relationship, definitely better than most but she is also the meanest person to me in my life. she’s the only one who can make me feel as terrible as i do, yet i love her????

and for the doing everything around the house, i also relate to that. my mom has me and my siblings clean the entire house, she used to withhold food or sleep until we got things done, she would scream and more that i’d rather just not get into but luckily she’s too old to do that anymore— or we’re too big. but i don’t know why some parents think their children were made to serve them? like we’re our own people with our own lives. you wouldn’t like to be doing something like this for free so what makes you think i want to?

and i hope u don’t take this the wrong way but your dad sounds insanely immature. like as a grown ass man you’re yelling at your child and your mother over some bedsheets!?! just hearing abt it is making my blood boil

and then i said how you’d still be sad if he died omg i felt that

my dad was abusive and had been absent for god knows how long but if i randomly got some shit in the mail saying he died…? i think i’d still feel some sadness over it and it makes me even more upset that he can make me feel anything when he doesn’t deserve any of it

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually