#also love Eddie harassing cops

[accusedoffeminism]

Policing the streets wasn’t nearly as hard of a job and Steve thought it would be when he first joined the force. Sure there was actual detective work that needed to be done out in the world, but that wasn’t what Steve was out doing this night. No no. Steve was on ‘crowd control’ at the local bar to make sure no one was causing too much trouble or getting into their cars when they had too much to drink. An important job on paper, sure, but most people in town were sensible enough to get an uber or at the very least bat their eye lashes at officer Harrington and ask for a ride home in the cop car. All things considered, this was a pretty fun part of the job. More fun than passing out speeding tickets that is.

Steve was looking over the crowd of smokers outside the bar, silently wishing that he was one of them when someone with a bright flash on their phone came up to him.

“Oh Mister Officer.” The stranger sang at him as he pointed the flash at him.

Okay what the fuck?

Steve was no stranger to being filmed. There was a lot of paranoia now a days when it came to cops, which was whatever. It wasn’t like Steve was doing anything he had to be worried about anyway. He could be filmed. But he wasn’t really used to hot men getting in his face with a camera. This could be fun.

“Name and badge number.” The stranger commanded with an easy grin.

Steve laughed softly, clearly happy with the attention from the stranger. “My name and badge number?”

“Sir yes sir! Name and badge number.” Hot guy chimed. Oh he was so making fun of Steve. Steve was into it.

“Harrington. 5327.” Steve smiled running a hand through his hair, giving the stranger an easy smile. I his move had gotten him in plenty of bedrooms before. It was tried and true.

“Good boy.”

Steve let out a choked laugh, clearly a bit caught off guard by the pet name. The… compliment? Yeah that was a compliment. Steve’s crooked smile grew right back onto his lips. “Oh am I?” He asked, folding his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall.

The stranger didn’t respond for a moment, waiting to see if he could get more of a reaction out of Steve before his recording ended. Hot guy laughed as he put his phone into his pocket.

“So…” Steve started, not quite ready to let go of this conversation. “You do that to all cops or just the ones you think are cute?”

“Cute? That’s funny. Your reaction? Not so much. Usually cops get a lot more big bad wolf over me doing that,” He answered. “You’re more like the brick house that won’t get blown down.”

Steve laughed brightly. This guy was funny. “Is that your way of telling me I look built?” Steve teased, only flexing his muscles slightly from where they were folded over his chest.

“Is that what you heard when I said that just now?” The stranger asked him, no teased, him with a raised brow.

“What’s your name?” Steve asked.

“Why? You wanna put me under arrest?” He asked.

“No.” Steve replied.

The stranger laughed, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. “I don’t have to tell you anything, 5326.”

Steve laughed brightly. “27.” He corrected.

“5327.” He repeated, placing the cigarette between his lips.

“Can I bum one?” Steve asked.

“I don’t share with pigs.” He replied as he lit his cigarette.

“Thought I was supposed to be the big bad wolf in your story.” Steve laughed flatly.

“You can be both.”

“You’ve got a funny way of flirting.” Steve told him.

The hot stranger shook his head. He looked like he didn’t entirely hate how forward Steve was being thought. Steve bit his lip before speaking again. “What are you up to tonight?” He asked, trying to push the conversation a little bit further.

“I don’t sleep with pigs either, Harrison.”

“Harrington.” Steve corrected. “A little flirting never hurt anyone.”

The stranger raised an eyebrow. “Yeah but more than a few cops have.” He said flatly. “Have the night you deserve officer.” He called out before walking away.

Steve laughed and shook his head, watching as he walked away. He was going to be thinking about this stranger for the rest of the night, that was for sure. It turns out Steve would be thinking about that stranger everyday, until his friend Dustin introduced him to his friend Eddie Munson. Dustin had apparently worked very hard to keep them apart given Eddie’s very loud hatred of cops and Steve being well…

Steve could still win him over, right?

[cjlouwho]

Well, I was waiting for the more recent ep of 911 to come out to see how it was handled, but I've finally submitted my criticsm to abc. I think I covered all the bases:

I have been a fan of 911 since the show first aired and I was happy when the abc picked up the show after it looked like the show might be cancelled after season 6. However I must say, I have been steadily getting more and more disappointed with the show in that time. While the big disasters are certainly fun and flashy, the personal stories for the all main characters seem to be recycled from previous seasons and their characters don't seem to be experiencing any growth. The only story line I have been interested in since the start of season 7 is that of Buck. His bisexuality arc, while it did at first come as a surprise to me, soon made me realise that this had been telegraphed as part of his character for a while, and I was excited to see where this might lead for him. His relationship with Tommy as well, had me excited as to Buck's growth, as it looked like he was finally maturing as a character and I was looking forward to finally witnessing a new relationship within the show as well as a new character, both of which had the potential of finally bringing some fresh stories to the table.

While I was highly disappointed in the dissolving of the relationship because I was a fan of the pairing, and the waste of the potential stories the show could have brought us, it was the handling of the breakup that was most upsetting.

For starters, it really highlighted the lack of story cohesion. It showed either the writers couldn't be bothered or just didn't care to research their characters or the show's timelines to make sure the story make sense. Episode 8x06 was just a mess of storytelling, and the characters we saw didn't even match the ones we saw in just the episode prior. It felt very much like it was written for shock value with very little thought put into it other than they just wanted Buck single again.

I also understand that there are many people in the queer community who have been very disappointed in the handling of this story line, and while I am not queer, I understand where they are coming from because I feel it too. The show's inability to outright declare that Buck is bisexual, and even after the most recent episode, the constant insinuation that someone who is bisexual needs to "explore" in order to know themselves is a stereotype that is quite frankly, disgusting and outdated. (I was personally insulted at the mindset that someone's "first can't be their last" as I felt it was a slap in the face to the many couples, both straight and queer, who's first *is* their last.)

But what has been even more disappointing is the care - or lack of - that the show seems to have towards their actors - specifically the guest actors who play Buck and Eddie's love interests. There are a small group of fans who believe that Buck and Eddie will end up together, and for years they have been harassing 911 fans who don't agree with them, the show's writers and any actor who plays a love interest they feel "gets in the way of their ship". Lou Ferrigno Jr especially appears to have copped far worse than any so far, even having death threats sent to both him and his family from these people, yet there has never been a single mention from any of the showrunners asking these "fans" to stop. Despite the writers implying in interviews that Buck and Eddie ("buddie") will never happen (and Ryan Guzman (Eddie) saying that his character is straight), I feel the writers need to directly state they have no plans to take the characters in this direction, or at the very least, call out these people and state that in no uncertain terms that this behaviour is unacceptable in order to try and put a stop to the harassment that, in particular, these actors are recieving for simply doing their job. However the fact that neither of these things have happened gives me reason to believe that the showrunners are perfectly happy stringing along these fans because keeping these few viewers to maintain ratings is more important than protecting their supporting cast. And as I am someone who takes mental health seriously, especially within the workplace, I feel I can no longer in good conscience support the show. Which is a shame, as like I have said I have been watching from the very beginning, but as long as the show refuses to let the characters evolve, keeps reinforcing harmful stereotypes and won't do anything to protect their staff from bullying (because as history has shown, if they try to bring in someone else as a new love interest for either Buck or Eddie, those poor actors will receive the same vile harassment from the "fans" that Lou received) I am not inspired to watch.

Please do better.

So glad you wrote in!! Thank you 💕💕💕

[gvtted-ratz]

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What’s Your Favourite Scary Movie, Eddie?

Edward Nashton (The Riddler) x Ghostface!Trans!M!Reader

Last Edited: 06/04/2023

TW: gore, blood, murder, stalking, dead bodies, transphobia, foul language, body dysphoria, phone harassment

Requested: no

Word Count: 2,381

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: literally rewatching the batman 2022 as i make this lel. also, kinda think of the ghosftface from dead by daylight as i love that costume/look so the outfit that’s described. i finished this shit on 1 hour of sleep btw so hope u enjoy

He’s an odd man. His schedule used to remain constant until it didn’t. You’re unsure of what changed. He’s still a forensic account by all means. He forged those documents to get the job so of course he wouldn’t simply just quit. That part stayed the same. It’s after work when he deviates from his original schedule. Going out at night, spying on people, and getting odd information. There’s also his online presence getting stronger. You see him on his computer more and more. Sometimes he’s typing, other times he has some sort of outfit on to do live streams.

No matter what, he’s always busy with something. That something has gotten more and more odd these past few weeks. He’s obsessing over a vigilante. A man dressed in black who goes around beating people down until they cannot get up to fight anymore. A “Batman” is what they call him. For someone so many fear, little ol’ Eddie surely loves him. It makes your stomach twist in disgust. How can this man obsess over this random vigilante? Sure, he fights crime but he’s not going for the bigger people. He lets cops run around, nabbing the criminals only to let them go after a bit of bribing. Some saviour he is. Plus, to see this somewhat nerdy and dainty-looking man go for a man who appears to be jacked screws with your head.

You can’t help but want to maul your own skin at this observation. The mousey man wanting the dark, mysterious, and bulky body type makes you think of your own figure. You don’t have the exact body type so may want after all the struggles to so much as get the medicine you needed for your transition. It takes time, ranging from months to years. And the first man you see him obsess over is the usual “jacked” and “hot” man makes you angry. That original figure you had has changed over time, into something you’re more comfortable with. While some changes haven’t been made yet due to the lack of money, you feel better; like you can actually live in your own skin now after so long of feeling like your body was out to destroy you.

But that feeling does fade now and then, especially when you see someone you’ve been watching and pinning over for months wanting the one thing you feel like you can’t be at times. Sometimes it’s your mind, other times it's old words from people you knew. The majority is the people you see online spouting nasty things, all ranging from hatred to fetishizing; there are even times when it’s a mixture of the two. A “real” man is what they want. For some reason as well, a “real” man isn’t someone who takes hormones or changes their body. A “real” man isn’t someone who says they are a man, even if they don’t transition. If they don’t pass their assessments, they’re not a “real man”. But how can they be one? How do they know what a “real” man is? They call those bulky hunks in bars real men. They’ll call the men from the army real men. The men from the gym are real men. But the moment a man so much as acts, looks, sounds different or doesn’t have the “right” body, they’re fake. And to you, it’s all bullshit. No one has any right to tell someone they’re not a “real” man, especially when they themselves know nothing about you or others in the same boat.

So to suddenly see such people in his streams? You can feel yourself losing it. While you wouldn’t kill them for such a thing unless they preached or even tried to kill people for being different or “unreal”, it’s the fact that so many were actual shitbags added to it. From people who wanted to simply kill innocent people, to people wanting to do awful acts to those they hate, you can’t allow that. Spying from the rooftops and alleyways turns into watching him from his very own streams.

Your username on the streams is Gh0stFac3, read as GhostFace, is usually caught in the streams, never saying a word. You let yourself lurk while he’s online, letting out passionate rants about Gotham and some sort of “renewal plan”. You don’t necessarily watch him on these streams. You do listen though, taking down notes on his words. You do have other people to watch and kill later on, of course. Some from his streams, others from night outs. A few are even from your times at bars, hearing their nasty talking or genuine disgust about certain groups of people who’ve done nothing but live their lives.

Another name is jotted down in your notebook, a multitude of pictures clipped to the page with the target. You scratch at your neck from under the mask, sighing. It’s just another asshole really. This one is from one of Edward’s streams. From what you found out, the guy had been sending nasty messages to a coworker who rejected him. Pathetic in your case. But you can feel that itchy feeling creeping up under your skin. You’ll have to kill again soon. It’s like a drug and it makes you feel powerful in a way. From people seeing you as some dainty girl back in the day, nothing more than something to be used for bearing kids and eye candy to look at, to feeling like a man after treatment, meds, and eye-opening articles; along with blogs talking about their own experiences, you feel like you can actually feel and do the things you felt you deserved to do. The people who looked down on you or disowned you disappeared in just a blink. All you needed was time away to find yourself, who you truly are, before returning and dealing out the same amount of pain to them they forced you to go through for so many years.

You snap the notebook closed, rubbing at the face under your mask. All this thinking about how your body is, alongside was, is giving you a headache. It doesn’t help that you have more than just that man as the next victim either. You’re not sure who to choose just yet. Or, well, you do. However, all the constant thinking, together with your inner voice reminding you of all the transphobia you’ve faced thus far, is killing your mood. A snort leaves you. Killing your mood. You’re truly a riot with your own jokes.

You grab the flip phone closest to you, flicking it open. It’s a burner you picked up a bit ago. There were plenty of others but the satisfaction of snapping the phone shut after a call is enough for you to keep it around. You look at Edward’s stream; he’s still going. You give a sharp grin under your scream mask before dialling his number.

You can hear it ring from the stream. Seeing him go silent immediately is satisfying. He looks like a mouse again; a confused one at that. He starts up his rant again, seemingly going to ignore it. Narrowing your eyes, you end the call before texting him. The ding he gets is ignored. Another ding. Another. Another. His hands are shaking, eyes wide and crazed. Finally, you type in chat.

> Hello, Mouse.

The chat, usually fast, stops for a moment. They seem to notice something is off.

> Will you answer your phone?

> I’m calling.

> I’m texting you, Mouse.

People in the chat start to type, sending in a multitude of messages. Some are asking Edward if he knows you. Others are asking if you know him. You don’t answer them at all.

> Answer. I won’t stop calling.

He looks mad, grabbing his computer. “Who do you think you are? You know nothing! You’ve said nothing until now! You’re just someone trying to bring me down aren’t you?! You’re trying to destroy everything I’ve been working for to help Gotham!”

> Answer the phone, Eddie.

Everything stops. It’s like the entire chat froze as well as Edward. You know no one has any idea what his name is. The fact that you know it and suddenly type it with no hesitation only shows you know more than does. With shaking hands, he lets go of the computer and sits back in his chair. “I’m sorry everyone… But it looks like we have a leak. I’ll be making sure to get rid of the mole and that they are dealt with accordingly. I’ll host another stream next week after all of this is fixed.” His voice is eerily blank, almost like he’s bored or in shock. With those final words, the entire stream ends. You sit for a moment before calling him once more. Edwards finally picks up this time.

“Oh, Eddie… Did you really have to take that long?” The voice changer in your mask disguises your voice. From what you’ve been told by many victims before, you sound like a very attractive young man.

“Who are you?” His question, asked in a cold way, makes you hum.

“Ghostface. What about you, Eddie? Are you Edward Nashton? The Riddler? Who are you?” His breathing has changed; he’s panicked. You’ve heard that type of breathing so much that you don’t do much beside coo at him. “Don’t worry, Dear Eddie. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to destroy all that you’ve been working on. After all, you’ve changed your schedule to fit this odd thing now…” You sigh, leaning forwards in your chair. You prop your masked head on your gloved hand. “After all, you spent so much time and resources on it. It’s honestly been the most interesting thing I’ve seen in years.”

“Why are you calling, Ghostface?” He asks, wanting to get this call over with. You don’t want that though. You like how he sounds in your ear. You like how you can make his breathing change with just a few words.

“What’s Your Favourite Scary Movie, Eddie?” The teasing way you say it only adds character, or that’s what you tell yourself. You want Eddie to like you. You want him to obsess over you as he does Batman. You want him.

“I’m not playing your games!” He’s stressed, practically about to cry from the frustration. You’ve ruined his stream, teased him over the phone, and called him Eddie in front of people who don’t know his name. In his eyes, you’re out to destroy him.

“Eddie…” You feel slightly bad. You really do want him to like you and this is the only thing you had thought of. It’s clearly not working. “I like you, Eddie. You’re doing what others can’t or won’t… How about a deal?” The idea of a deal to possibly end this talk seems to get to him.

“What’s the deal, then? Or are you going to keep talking to me in circles and messing with me?”

“I wasn’t trying to mess with you. As I said before. I like you. You’re the only person who went from a possible victim to something else entirely… You should be proud! No one has ever gotten that far! Usually, I’d be in their home by now, hiding and waiting for the right moment to strike…” As you talk, it seems he’s intently listening to you with genuine intrigue. “The fighting is always hard but so, so fun. And the moment my knife meets their flesh and blood spills? It’s beautiful.” You let out a sigh, one could almost call it dreamy with how you talk about your deadly hobby. “The screams are a bit much, not going to lie there, Eddie. They’re so loud.. But the moment the life is gone from those shitbags, I can make them oh so pretty.” You’re out of your chair, pacing around your apartment. Your combat boots are heavy against the wooden floors of your home. One of your hands moves as you ramble, giving more passion despite the other man unable to see it. “A few more cuts, maybe some mutilation, a bit of stabbing.. Then I have to set them up how I want and take a few selfies. The selfies are always fun… I can send you a few if you’d like. They always turn out great, I make sure of it.”

The silence on the other end snaps you out of whatever state you had been in when talking about your hobby. You don’t hear anything, not even Edward’s breathing. Your hidden lips pull into a frown. Here you are, pouring your heart out and he’s said nothing! No congratulations. No good job. Nothing. The squeaking of your gloves is heard as you tighten your grip on the burner.

“How does this help me? How are you going to help me with some pictures of your pinned-up dead bodies?” You grit your teeth, hating this call more and more.

“I’m saying that I can be your blade, dammit! You can sit in your messy lil’ apartment, talking, coding, streaming! I’ll hunt down whoever you want! I’ll mutilate them! I’ll leave clues or riddles, I don’t care!” You’re yelling into the receiver, finally tired of listening to the man’s complaining. Taking a deep breath, you try to calm yourself. “I do all the killing and you continue doing whatever it is your doing.”

“But what are you looking for? What do you get out of it?” A hum leaves you, letting all that rage go. A nasty smirk crawls over your features.

“I get to watch you work… I love seeing you put your pretty lil’ head to use after all, Baby.” You practically purr, the distorted warmth filling you. It’s unhealthy how much you like him paired with how much you want him to like you. Unhealthy or not, you don’t care. If he can have unhealthy views and plans, so can you.

You hear the end of his line go dead, having hung up on you. You give a mocking put from behind the scream mask. Quickly, you let your thumb fly over the numbers. You snap the phone closed, happy to see that this is the start of something very exciting.

> Can’t wait to work with you, Sweetheart ;))

[eddiesasspbrak]

Not What I Expected Ch 8

It’s Autumn in 1985 and Eddie is being harassed because he sold weed to the wrong girl.  Steve is still trying to get over Nancy and might have found the one person that can help him achieve that goal. Meanwhile, Robin has some secret romantic intentions of her own.

Pre Season 4 and not canon compliant with season 4

2K+ words

AO3

Steve may have driven home more quickly then he should have, barely mindful of the speed limit and grateful they didn’t pass any cops. Eddie chuckled when he nearly missed a stop sign and had to slam on the breaks. It didn’t help that he kept his hand on Steve’s knee for the entirety of the ride, his skin warm under his touch and making it just that much harder to concentrate on the road.

Eddie had pretty much thrown reason out the window. He hadn’t expected a day planned just for him. He was sure Steve would take him on the same kinds of dates he’d take Nancy on. Really, he wasn’t giving him enough credit. Of course, sensitive, caring, protective Steve would plan a date Eddie would love. He still had his doubts about whether or not Steve was serious about him or just curious, but at the moment he didn’t care. He wanted to thank Steve properly.

Steve barely remembered to lock the car doors as he fumbled with his keys. When the front door was open, Eddie surged forward and grabbed Steve’s hand, pulling him from the door with hardly enough time for him to push the door closed behind them. Luckily they had the kind of lock that clicked into place when the door was slammed. Through the front entrance, up the stairs and to Steve’s room Eddie dragged him along.

There was a mixture of emotions going through Steve’s mind. Excitement, for sure. He’d been dreaming of getting his hands on Eddie for months now. Jerked off in the middle of the night, Eddie’s name on his lips, one too many times. Anxious as well. He was a man, he’d had some experience as an experimental teen, but not like this. He’d never wanted another man like this, and he’d tried so hard to prove to Eddie that he was serious. He was afraid he’d mess it up now. The combination of the two feelings caused his hands to shake and his heart to pound.

Eddie seemed less nervous. He left the door wide open, Steve reaching back to push it closed. Having the door open just seemed wrong, even though they were alone. But Eddie was in his own world, only one thought on his mind as he pushed Steve down onto the bed and settled on the floor between his thighs. Steve’s mind went blank the second Eddie pulled down his zipper and cool fingers met his heated semi erect cock. Eddie grinned, sliding his hand agonizingly slowly from head to base and back again.

Steve’s finger shook as he curled them into the blanket, letting out a shuddering breath.

“You’re bigger than I thought you’d be.” Eddie practically purred. “You’ll have to stretch me nice and deep to take all of it.”

Steve shuddered both from Eddie’s words and the way he swirled his thumb over his tip. Eddie seemed to be enjoying the effect he was having on Steve. Patience running thin, he licked his lips before taking as much as Steve into his mouth as he could. He’d sucked dick once and it had been terrible. The dude tasted awful, and he’d forced Eddie down on his cock as he came, making him gag and nearly puke.

This was different. For starters, he liked Steve. He was clean, which was a major plus in any situation. There was also the way he was silently calling Eddie’s name without even seeming to realize while he gently held Eddie’s head with one hand. His fingers pressed into Eddie’s scalp, softly rubbing and scratching into his skin. It sent shivers down Eddie’s spine.

He was worried about his inexperienced technique, but Steve’s thighs were tensing under his fingers and soft moans were falling from his lips, his toes curling against the floor. The hard wood was biting into Eddie’s knees, but he didn’t care, he just wanted Steve to let it all go.

Steve heard the car engine pulling into the driveway and the car doors slamming but didn’t process the sounds until the front door squeaked open downstairs. Suddenly, he was alert again as panic took over all his senses.

“Fuck - shit - Eddie, stop.” He whispered harshly.

Eddie pulled off with a pop and looked up at him, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. “What’s wrong?”

“I think someone is here.”

“Who? All your friends are in school right now.”

Steve went stiff as a board with the sound of heels clicking on the stairs and a female voice calling out “Steven”.

“My parents.” Abruptly, he stood, tucking his quickly softening dick back into his pants and zipping up. “You have to hide.”

“What? Why?” It was impossible not to see the hurt look in Eddie’s eyes and Steve cursed under his breath. He was going to mess this up.

“I’m sorry. I swear we will talk after they leave, and I’ll tell you everything, ok?”

Eddie hesitated, then nodded before hiding in the closet, sliding the door closed behind him. A moment later, a knock sounded at the door before it was opened without waiting for a response.

“There you are. Were you still asleep?” His mother’s cold voice filtered through the closet door.

“No, I’ve been up for hours. I was just looking for something.”

“Dear,” she turned and called out into the hallway, ignoring Steve’s response. “He’s up here.”

Eddie could just barely see through the slots in the closet door, but he could see enough to notice Steve shifting from one foot to the other and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Steve was anxious. Sure, Eddie knew that Steve’s parents weren’t the best and were extremely neglectful, but something seemed…off. Maybe it was because they’d nearly caught Steve with his dick in another guy’s mouth, but the air felt too tense for it to just be that. 

Steve had been slouching slightly but when his dad came into view, he straightened like a board. Eddie couldn’t see him as he was half hidden by the bedroom door, but he brought with him a threatening aura. He smelled like cigars and something sour.

“Steven.” His dad said his name like it was an inconvenience. “You’re home. Lost another job already?”

“No. I have the day off. And I didn’t lose my last job, the mall burned down.” Steve responded, but his voice was flat. No emotion to it at all.

“Don’t talk back. I’ve only seen a bit of the house and I can already see that you’re not keeping up with the cleaning.”

Eddie had to stop himself from making a noise at that. The Harrington house was spotless. Literally. Eddie had already seen Steve dusting and wiping down surfaces twice in the last few days. He thought maybe he had OCD, now he realized it was because of this. Fear of his parent’s disapproval.

“Sorry.” Was all Steve said. Why didn’t he defend himself? He kept everything so neat and tidy, even his own room, couldn’t they see that?

“Have you been eating properly?” His mother asked, the illusion of caring but Eddie wondered if she just wanted to know what he was spending his money on.

“Yes. I go grocery shopping on the weekends and cook myself dinner every night.”

“Good.”

“We’ll only be here for tonight and we’re leaving again in the morning.” His dad was already turning to walk away as he spoke. “Make sure you stay quiet tonight so I can get some sleep.”

They both left the room without another word. Eddie felt disgust roiling in his belly. They didn’t even ask if he was doing ok or about his personal life. It was like he was no more than a pet they were forced to take in. Wayne had come back after one day away and asked Eddie a million questions to make sure he was ok while he was gone. Steve closed the door after they left and locked it then waited a heartbeat or two more before going to the closet door. Eddie stepped out from behind the hanging clothes.

“Sorry.” Steve whispered.

“It’s ok.” Eddie matched his whisper.

“It’s just…they don’t like for me to have people here in general, but especially not when they’re here. If they had seen you they would have made a snap decision that you were trouble, and I was into something bad.” He didn’t meet Eddie’s eyes at first, but they opened wide as saucers as he finally looked at him. “I don’t mean that you’re into anything bad or that like…you look like you’re bad or…shit…”

Eddie closed the distance between them and cupped Steve’s face between his hands. “It’s ok.” He repeated. “Your dad seems like a dick. It’s not like I expected you to introduce me like ‘hey dad this is the drug dealer I moved in while you were gone because I wanted to fuck him.’”

Steve cracked a smile at that. “Yea that probably wouldn’t end well.”

Eddie hadn’t always been the best at comforting others. It made him feel awkward being all sentimental and vulnerable and shit. So instead of trying to comfort him with his words, he leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his mouth. Steve practically melted into him, his hands finding Eddie’s that still bracketed his face.

“Do you think Robin will let me stay at hers tonight? Or maybe Nancy can hide me in her basement.” Eddie half joked.

“No. You can stay here; we just have to be careful. I’ll grab your things from the guest room later and we’ll keep the door locked. I’ll bring you something to eat up here too.”

“It’s like you’re hiding a stray puppy.” Eddie joked.

“I mean that comparison is pretty fair.” Steve said, earning him a playful jab in the gut.

After their quiet laughter died down, Eddie slotted their lips together for a slightly messier kiss, leaning into Steve’s broad chest. Moving his hands to rest on his back, Eddie pressed himself just a bit harder against Steve’s body, sighing into his mouth.

“Want me to continue the thank you service?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“Yes but no, it’s better not to right now. I can’t promise I’d keep my voice down and the last thing we need right now is for my parents to hear that.”

“Good point. After they leave again then.”

“Making blow job dates?”

“Maybe. 24 hours from now it could be more than just a blow job.”

Steve tried to ignore the stirring in his gut that implication caused. “That’s not helping.” He softly groaned, dropping his forehead onto Eddie’s shoulder.

“Sorry.” He chuckled, smoothing a hand down the back of Steve’s neck.

Steve sighed, contented in this moment. “I did good today then?”

“You did wonderfully. I’ve never had a better date.” Not that Eddie had more than one or two “dates” to speak of if you could even call them that.

“Good. I wanted you to have fun.” Steve pulled back to look him in the eye. “I really like you Eddie.”

Eddie’s cheeks and ears visibly colored pink and Steve resisted the urge to lick the pink on his skin. “You’re starting to win me over, Harrington.”

*

Steve sat through an awkward dinner with his parents wishing that he was with Eddie instead. They ordered in an expensive meal, even after Steve offered to cook. He had ingredients and he liked to cook. He gave them three different options before his mother told him to hush and called the restaurant. He was lucky they were treating him at all, is what they were probably thinking.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a true Harrington family dinner if Steve wasn’t lectured for one reason or another. He was quietly eating, barely listening to his parents discussing work, when it started.

“What exactly are your plans for your future, Steven?” His dad asked.

“Um…I’m not sure.” That was the wrong answer, but he hadn’t prepared anything. He was too distracted by the man upstairs in his bed.

“You’re not getting any younger. You’re almost 20. Now is the time to either go to college or establish yourself in a career.”

“I have a job.” He reminded them.

“Oh, Steven, you can’t possibly think your future is in video rentals.” His mother almost laughed.

“No, but I’m just trying to figure it out right now.”

“While living in my house.” And there it was. His dad had made it pretty apparent in recent months that he wanted Steve out.

“Well, yea. Most parents help their kids out while they’re trying to figure out their future.” He half mumbled.

“That’s all well and good for other parents, but no son of mine is going to waste his life away in a dead-end job living in my house until he’s 50.”

“I’m 19!” Steve didn’t mean to raise his voice, but this always happened when they were home. “How am I supposed to have my life all figured out already?”

“You don’t have to have it all figured out, but you need to start making strides toward a future worth living!”

“My future is worth living no matter how it ends up!”

“Enough!” His dad slammed his hand on the table, making silverware and dishes rattle. “You have a month to either apply to colleges, find a better job or move out.”

“Why don’t you give him a starter job at your company, dear?” His mother asked as if she couldn’t feel the tension in the room.

“I’ve offered once already, and he turned me down to scoop ice cream all summer.”

“I wanted…experience. I just wanted to experience the world my own way before I…”

“Before you what?”

Steve hesitated, knowing exactly how this could end up if he said the wrong thing. What he wanted to say was ‘before I sell out like you and work a miserable job I hate for the rest of my life’. But instead, he said, “Before I settle into a job with you. What good am I to your company if I have no real-world experience?”

That seemed to appease the beast hidden just below his dad’s flesh. The tension that had been building melted away some and Steve contained the sigh that tried to escape.

“Fine. But the one month deadline stands so you’d better soak up all the experience you can now.”

*

Steve offered to clean up, like he actually had a choice. But it gave him a chance to be alone in the kitchen and scoop his leftovers into a Tupperware container to sneak upstairs. It wasn’t entirely warm anymore, and he felt guilty for making Eddie wait so long.

As soon as he was in his room, door locked and taking in the sight of Eddie sprawled out on his bed reading a magazine, he relaxed.

“Your dad is definitely a dick.” Eddie said, setting the magazine aside and sitting up.

“You heard?”

“It was hard not to.” Eddie stood and made his way to Steve where he still stood against the door. He took the food out of his hand and set it on the desk before taking both his hands in his. “You ok?”

Steve nodded. “I’m fine. I always knew I’d either have to work for my dad or make it on my own, but I didn’t have a time limit on it before. He was just glad I was working at all in the beginning.”

“What do you think you’re going to do?”

“Honestly? I have no fucking clue.” Steve let out a small chuckle as he spoke. “Eat before the food gets too cold.”

Eddie pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek before separating from him and sitting at the desk. They chatted quietly while he ate, and Steve put on some low music to drown out their conversation further. They waited until they heard his parents go to bed before Steve snuck across the hallway to retrieve Eddie’s things from the guest room. With the door locked and lights out, the two settled into Steve’s bed. There was plenty of room for them both to spread out, but Eddie tucked himself right up against Steve, his head on the same pillow. Breathless, Steve found Eddie’s hand in the dark and tangled their fingers together. All the tension and anger that always hung around after he saw his parents drifted away as he peacefully fell asleep.

[chvoswxtch]

knight in black leather & denim

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: you get into a little trouble walking home drunk from a party, but lucky for you, a handsome stranger saves the day.

warnings: cursing, drinking, weed use, mentions of sexual harassment (if this makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip!)

word count: 3.5k

a/n: thank you so much to the lovely @boeutiful for the idea for this fic, & letting me run with it! as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated! please let me know if you would like to be tagged!

I shouldn’t be here. I never should’ve come. Why did I come? I could barely hear my own thoughts over the music that was blasting throughout the entire house. I could practically feel the vibrations of the heavy bass thudding against the floor through the stems of my heels. The entire house was packed with faces I didn’t recognize, I wasn’t even sure if everyone here actually even went to Hawkins High. I’d had two cups of god knows what from that punch bowl, and I was starting to feel dizzy.

I could feel a light layer of sweat starting to form on my forehead due to the overwhelming heat in the living room. There were so many bodies packed in together, it felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. I somehow managed to force myself through the crowd towards the front door, silently escaping into the cooled haven of the night. As soon as I stepped outside, I eagerly greeted the autumn chill that nipped at the exposed skin of my shoulders and continued its relentless path down my naked legs. Didn’t I bring a jacket? I groaned as I glanced at the heavy wooden door behind me, contemplating how much I actually loved the jacket I had brought. 

I rubbed at my temples as I tried to will away the haze and focus on what I was doing. The front lawn was littered with even more people and discarded cups. I don’t belong here. I was not a party girl. I was not a social butterfly. In fact, this was the first non-birthday party I had ever gone to in my entire high school career. And why did I choose tonight of all nights and this party of all parties? Jason Carver. He had invited me, and I stupidly thought the invite was genuine. Of course I realized it wasn’t by the look of surprise on his face that I had actually shown up. I had tried to play off my hurt feelings, grabbed a cup and attempted to try and at least have a good time, but it was hopeless. This simply wasn’t my scene.

I wrapped my arms around myself to keep warm as I started walking, or more like stumbling, down the sidewalk. I’m pretty sure my house is this way? Wait, how did I get here? I groaned internally at my drunken state. Pathetic. Two drinks. That’s all it took. This is why you don’t go to a party alone, idiot. 

“Stupid Jason. Stupid party. Stupid dress. Stupid heels. Stupid Y/N.”

In the midst of my drunken rambling, I hadn’t noticed the house and the blaring music fading in the distance behind me. I also apparently hadn’t noticed the cop car on the opposite side of the street that I had just stupidly stumbled by.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

I froze when I heard a gruff voice calling out to me. I slowly turned around to see two police officers leaning against their squad car, arms crossed over their chests as they stared at me. My heart started to thud in my chest as one of them waved me over with two fingers. Oh shit.

“You coming from that noisy house a few blocks away? There’s a party going on, isn’t that right?”

“I-um..yes s-sir. I..I was just going home.”

“Bet there’s some underage drinking going on over there, huh? You been drinking ma’am?”

“I..um..I-please. I really don’t want to get in trouble. I don’t normally go to those things. I..this is my first time. I swear. I-I’m a straight A student. I’m not a partier.”

“Yet you’re stumbling home drunk from a party?”

My heart was pounding against my chest and anxiety flooded my entire system. I glanced frantically between the two officers. One of them looked to be in his late twenties, while the other had to be closer to late thirties. They both wore stern expressions that made me shiver. I tried to appear as sober as I could, racking my brain for anything I could possibly say or do to get out of this without being arrested. 

“How old are you?”

“E-eighteen, sir.”

The younger cop’s mouth suddenly curled into a sinister smile that had me completely unsettled. There was a wicked glint in his gaze as he turned to face his partner whose lips morphed into a crooked smile of his own.

“Hear that? At least she’s legal.”

The suggestive tone of the man’s voice coupled with the predatory gaze in his eyes nearly knocked the breath out of me. Neither of them even tried to hide the shameless wandering of their eyes. I instantly regretted wearing such a short and revealing simple black dress to get Jason’s attention. I regretted even more not bothering to go inside for my jacket. I had nothing to shield myself with. Think. Think. Think.

“I..I think I should call my parents, s-so they can come get me. I know you have to tell them that I was drinking..so..we should p-probably call them.”

“Didn’t you hear me, princess? You’re a legal adult. No reason to get your parents involved when you’re a grown woman.”

There were goosebumps covering my entire body, but it wasn’t due to the cold. I glanced between the two men, uneasiness burning through my veins as I tried to assess the situation. I could run, but that would probably make it worse. They were most likely faster than me, and had a car. There was no way I could outrun them, even if I wasn’t buzzed and in heels. I also was not the kind of girl that ran from the police. I wasn’t a rule breaker. Hell, I’d never even had detention. I was obedient to a fault, a good girl. 

“Come here. Put your hands on the hood and spread your legs.”

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head at the younger man’s words and I felt my mouth go dry.

“W-what? Am I being arrested?”

“Well, that depends on you princess. But, we do need to search you.”

“Search me?”

“For drugs. Sure you look all sweet and innocent, but how can we be sure?”

The older man shot me a wink and I felt bile rise in my throat. The sound of my heels clacking slowly against the cement was the only noise on the otherwise empty street. I glanced around at my surroundings as I approached the car. There were a few dark houses on the street. I could scream, but would anyone hear me? They’d probably slap their hand over my mouth and shove me into the back of the car before I even had a chance to.

I rose my shaky hands up to place on the hood of the car, spreading my feet apart just the slightest. I swallowed thickly as I tried to glance at them over my shoulder.

“Officers, please. I..I don’t do drugs. I swear. You can drug test me if you want. But..I..I did see drugs at the party, I think. I..I’m honestly not sure what they look like. But at the party-”

The younger cop let out a low whistle as he shoved his knee between my thighs, spreading my legs apart even further. I grabbed onto the hood of the car tighter and felt panic begin to rise in my chest.

“I can’t believe your parents let you out of the house looking like this. This little dress leaves nothing to the imagination, you know that princess? I’m not sure where the hell you would even hide drugs under this. But, I gotta do my duty.”

I could hear the pretentious grin in his words. My entire body tensed when I felt his fingertips brush against my thigh just under the hem of my dress. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and I squeezed them tightly shut. 

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

“Evening officers. Having a nice night?”

My head whipped in the direction of the voice that had halted the cop’s movements. My lips parted in surprise to see a boy around my age standing in front of the cop car with his hands crossed over his chest. He was tall, and had long brunette curly hair that perfectly framed his face and settled at his shoulders. He wore black ripped jeans, what looked to be some kind of band shirt, and a black leather jacket with a denim vest over it. My eyes were drawn to the belt that was secured with a pair of handcuffs and the numerous rings lined on his fingers that gleamed underneath the streetlight. Even though his words had been directed towards them, his large brown eyes were focused solely on me. I found myself shivering under the intensity of his gaze.

“Get the hell out of here, Munson. Unless you want us to search you, and we all know you’re holding. So unless you wanna spend the night in jail, fuck off.”

The corners of the boy’s full lips curled up into a mischievous smirk, showcasing a perfect set of dimples as he raised his hands up in surrender and took a step towards the older cop.

“No need. I don’t sell anymore, scout’s honor. Just gonna have a smoke break. Don’t mind me.”

I gasped in surprise when he pulled a joint out of his pocket to place between his lips. He quickly retrieved a lighter from his other pocket, bringing the flickering flame to the tip of the stark white paper, and inhaling until a fourth of it had been burned. As he leaned against the hood of the car, he blew a thick cloud of smoke in the direction of the two men, the undeniable scent of weed lingering in the air. 

The younger man that was standing behind me quickly rushed to stand in front of the boy, clearly enraged by his antics.

“What the hell is the matter with you, Munson? Smoking a joint in front of two cops? Are you a fucking idiot?”

The brunette’s dark browns knit together as he grinned playfully, holding up the rolled piece of paper between his index finger and thumb as he pretended to survey it carefully.

“Oh shit, you’re right. My bad. I thought it was a cigarette. Must have gotten my products mixed up. That’s bad for business, those jocks are gonna be pissed.”

The grin on the boy’s face stretched even wider at the furious looks on the two men’s faces. I was absolutely dumbfounded by the stranger’s boldness. The longer I stared at him, the more familiar he seemed. Do I know him from somewhere? I clamped my hand over my mouth in shock when he stretched his hand out to offer the joint to the two officers.

“What do you say boys, wanna hit? Take the edge off?”

The older man snatched the joint from his hand and threw it onto the ground, grabbing his shoulder and dragging him up to his feet. The younger cop had already pulled his handcuffs out, shoving the stranger’s front against the car as he began to clasp the metal restraints around his wrists one by one.

“That’s it, Munson. You’re under arrest. Don’t think you’re only getting one night in jail after this shit you just pulled.”

The grin on his face never faltered, even as the handcuffs were secured around his wrists. I was completely frozen in place. My buzzed brain was still trying to process what was happening. Did he..do that on purpose? For me?

The boy turned his head to look at me over his shoulder, flashing me a wink and a charming smile. 

“Looks like you boys got your hands full tonight.”

The stranger tilted his head to the side, motioning for me to make a run for it. I glanced around at my surroundings momentarily, but found my eyes drawn to him once again. I was completely entranced by him. Why would he do that for me? I furrowed my brows as I stared at him, opening my mouth to say something, but he simply motioned for me to leave again. I turned around and began to speed walk in the other direction, but stopped when I reached the stop sign. I turned back around to see the two cops trying to shove him into the back of the cop car.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

All three heads turned in my direction. The two cops looked stunned, seemingly having forgotten that I had been there in the first place. The stranger on the other hand was grinning madly.

“Eddie Munson, angel. Although you probably know me as the ‘freak of Hawkins’.”

My eyes widened once realization hit me. My knight in black leather and denim was big bad Eddie “the freak” Munson. The notorious drug dealer and alleged cult leader of Hawkins High. I had heard stories about Eddie, but I had never actually seen Eddie. How come no one ever mentioned how hot he was? I bit down on my bottom lip and giggled at the situation I was in, smiling as I waved over at my savior.

“See you later, Eddie.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, and an overwhelming sense of guilt. I had thought about Eddie my entire walk home. I still couldn’t believe he purposefully got arrested just to get those creeps away from me. I wrestled with my guilt all morning as I thought about marching down to the police station and telling the chief everything. But, that also meant confessing my own sins. After another hour of torturing myself with endless worst case scenarios, I grabbed my keys and headed straight for the Hawkins Police station. I tried my best to remain nonchalant, but truth be told I was critically on the verge of having a panic attack as I smiled at the receptionist.

“I need to see Chief Hopper please.”

Half an hour later, I was taking my first breath after a very long winded explanation of the events of the previous night and was nervously fiddling with my fingers as I waited for the brooding chief to speak. The silence that filled the office was suffocating, and I grew even more anxious at the sound of seconds ticking by on the clock. Chief Hopper stared at me with a hardened gaze, his jaw set in a harsh line. After what felt like forever, he let out a deep breath and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the desk.

“Let me get this straight. You went to a party, alone, and got drunk. And not only did you break the law by drinking underage, you didn’t even check or ask what it was you were drinking.”

“I..yes.”

“And then you walked home. Alone. Drunk.”

My heart was thudding against my ribcage as I stared into the chief’s steel blue gaze. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment as I processed his words.

“I..um..yes. It was stupid, I know that.”

“Yeah, not to mention dangerous.”

“Look, I’m really sorry Chief Hopper. I should never have gone to that party. It was the first party I’ve ever been to, and I swear it’s my last. I’ve learned my lesson, okay? If you have to arrest me or..whatever, fine. But please don’t punish Eddie. He was just trying to protect me from those creeps. If he hadn’t shown up..”

I trailed off towards the end of my sentence. I hadn’t really thought about that part of last night. I tried to block it out. I didn’t want to say it out loud. It just made it feel too..real. Chief Hopper tensed in his chair and sat up a little straighter. His fists had been balled so tight as I told him about everything those cops had said, and the way that the one had touched me, that his knuckles had turned white. I was shocked he hadn’t broken the poor mug in his large hand. He let out another deep sigh and ran his hand over his face.

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“You’re a good kid, Y/N. You’ve never been in trouble before. I have no reason not to believe you. Eddie can go. But I want you to fill out an official complaint for those two fuckers so I can get them the hell off my force. Deal?”

My entire body felt lighter as relief washed over me. I squealed as I jumped up from my chair and rushed around to envelop Chief Hopper in a tight hug, feeling immensely grateful for him in that moment.

“Deal! Thank you so much, Chief. Really. Thank you um..for..believing me.”

Chief Hopper chuckled lowly as he pulled back and rose to his full height above me. There was a gentleness in his eyes I had never seen before. It was the first time I had ever seen him not so broody.

“Hey, I have a daughter you know? I worry about shit like that happening to her. I mean, I’ve taught her to look out for herself, and she can hit as hard as her old man, but it could still happen. Anything I can do to prevent that, I will.”

“She’s lucky to have you.”

“Do me a favor, kid. If you’re gonna go out and ya’know, let loose, be smart. Don’t go anywhere alone. Don’t drink with people you don’t know. And for the love of God, do not walk home alone, especially in that state. Alright? If you feel like you don’t have anyone to call, call me. I’ll come get you.”

“You keep being nice to me, I’m gonna keep hugging you.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side as the door to his cell slid open. He narrowed his eyes as he glanced between me and Chief Hopper, clearly confused about what was going on.

“It’s your lucky day, Munson. Y/N/N here just saved your ass. You can go home as long as you back up her story about those two shitheads from last night.”

“They getting fired?”

“Along with their asses beat in the parking lot, yeah.”

“Just tell me where to sign.”

Chief Hopper grunted in response, taking off down the hallway. I looked up at Eddie with a grin, only to find him staring down incredulously.

“You know, me getting arrested was to keep you out of trouble, right? You weren’t supposed to turn yourself in.”

“I couldn’t handle the guilt.”

Eddie laughed as he straightened out his jacket, leaning against the door of the cell as he eyed me up and down. I felt that familiar gravitational pull from last night as we stared at each other. He’s much more attractive up close.

“Thank you, Eddie. Really. I..I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up.”

“Hey, don’t go there. And don’t worry about it, really. Anything to help a pretty girl.”

Eddie’s wink coupled with that dazzling smile had butterflies erupting in my stomach, and I found myself grinning like an idiot right back at him.

“Um..can I..treat you to breakfast? Just..to say thanks..um..for everything you did for me last night.”

The grin on Eddie’s mouth only stretched even wider, showcasing those gorgeous dimples again that made me weak in the knees. 

“Now Y/N, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were asking me on a date.”

He remembered my name. God, did it sound so good coming from his mouth.

“Well, no other guy has ever gotten arrested for me before so, I would say you’ve earned yourself a date. If that’s alright with you?”

I had no idea where this sudden boldness was coming from. Something about Eddie made me feel like I could throw caution to the wind, be a little reckless for once. My breath hitched in my throat as Eddie stepped closer, reaching one of his large hands out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Tell you what. We’ll go to breakfast, angel. But I am taking you out tonight. That is, if you’re brave enough to go on a date with the ‘freak of Hawkins’.”

“I think you’re forgetting I asked you out first. But yes, I will happily go on a date with my savior.”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth ticked up into devilish smirk and I felt a knot form in my stomach as he leaned in closer so that our faces were mere inches apart, his voice dropping dangerously low.

“Savior hm? I like the sound of that. So, seven-thirty tonight?”

[365days365movies]

January 6, 2021: Last Action Hero (1993) (Part 1)

Let’s have some fun, shall we?

Comedy is my favorite genre, and I obviously also love action. So, when looking at the subgenres to cover this month, action-comedy most certainly was at the top of the list. But what exactly is action-comedy?

Exactly what it sounds like, funnily enough. Action-comedies rely on physical action sequences to further the plot, but also inject dialogue with humor and jokes throughout the script. Entertainment and amusement combined into one beautiful, succinct package. I’ll be judging the writing for these movies on how much they made me laugh while watching it. That said...

OK, so, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Last Action Hero. Schwarzenegger isn’t exactly the most emotionally expressive actor in the world, as you’ve probably noticed. And expressiveness is somewhat necessary to express humor. Look at Eddie Murphy up there, and see how expressive he is. Schwarzenegger...doesn’t have that. At all. But, this movie could still be funny! Shane Black wrote it, and he wrote one of my favorite guilty pleasure Halloween movies, The Monster Squad. So, I’m looking forward to this movie for that in and of itself. And with that...

 Recap

We start with a sick guitar lick on Christmas Day, as a group of cops close in on a criminal known as the Ripper holding children hostage at an elementary school. But then...Jack Slater (played, naturally, by Arnold Schwarzenegger) arrives. And yes, this is a parody character and scene, meant to lambast all of the stereotypical renegade cop tropes that I’ve literally never seen in a movie. Like, I guess Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop have it, but I think this character concept has been Flanderized into...well...Jack Slater.

Slater kicks a cop through a window with a Schwarzenegger-esque action line, and CRUSHES A RADIO LIKE A NAPKIN. I appreciate Schwarzenegger making fun of himself like this, and we’ve only just begun. Jack goes through banter with the Ripper (Tom Noonan), who...is unironically terrifying. Holy shit, that guy is creepy as fuck, and his stylized ax is intimidating as hell. And as he holds Slater’s son hostage out of revenge, the two face off with some cool action beats, and...

...Shit, I think I want to watch this movie. And I don’t mean Last Action Hero, I mean the in-universe movie that our actual main character, Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) is watching. Danny’s a big Jack Slater fan, and one of the only patrons of a movie theater owned by Nick (Robert Prosky). Nick, a kind old man, invites Danny to see the next Slater film before anybody else. And honestly, I get it. I’d watch this movie series unironically if it existed, real talk. Mostly because it seems fun.

Danny’s skipped school just to see this movie, and he walks into his English class, where the teacher shows Lawrence Olivier as Hamlet. Fun fact! The English teacher showing it is played by Joanne Plowright, Olivier’s real life wife! Very sweet! Anyway, Danny, bored by a goddamn classic movie, conjures a different movie in his head.

Fuck yes. I need this movie to exist. 

We learn from Danny’s mother (Mercedes Ruehl) that his father has recently died, and he spends far too much of his time watching movies at Nick’s theater. I look forward to this revelation never being explored. As he’s headed to the theater when he isn’t supposed to, he opens the door at the exact wrong time, and A ROBBER BREAKS INTO HIS PLACE, OH SHIT! Confronted with the type of real danger that he’d see in an action movie, and with no action hero to save him, the robber finds nothing of value and leaves the place. He gets rescued by the cops eventually, and they tell him to go home. But, no, he goes...to the movies.

Mom might have a point there, sport.

While he’s there, Nick brings him in, and begins to monologue to him about his past in the theater business. And that monologue introduces the MacGuffin of the film: the Golden Ticket, given to Nick by Houdini himself, and an alleged portal to another world.

So, is this gonna be more of a Pagemaster situation, or a The NeverEnding Story deal? The Golden Ticket is torn for admission, Danny sits down, and the movie-in-a-movie begins in earnest. In the film, Slater’s cousin Frank (Art Carney in his last film role) is being held hostage by the crime boss Vivaldi (Anthony Quinn), and his henchman...one of the most immediately visually interesting characters I’ve ever seen in a film...in a FILM.

Benedict (played by Charles Dance), is immediately a fascinating character, essentially a non-Marvel Bullseye, and a gunsman with flawless precision. And yeah...I dig it. Oh, how I dig it.

Jack Slater arrives in his snakeskin boots, and discovers Frank, who delivers a message in the cheesiest death sequence I’ve ever seen, followed by the cheesiest bomb compound I’ve ever seen, followed by a bigger explosion than anyone would’ve expected, FOLLOWED by...OK, look, the references to other action movies in this are already ridiculous and all over the place, and I refuse to spoil them all for those of you who’ve never seen this movie.

By the way, I gotta make a comment about Danny real quick. Watching this many action movies may have made him a little...detached...from reality. I say this because he expressed no shock or emotion during or after the robbery, then went immediately to the movie theater, and had no reaction whatsoever about the death of the two cops in the movie. Little budding sociopath, that Danny.

Although, that might change, now that the ticket’s getting all magic-y, and a stick of ACME dynamite (actually in the film, I swear) makes its way into the theater. It explodes, and Danny inexplicably (magically, even) finds himself in the movie. So, Pagemaster, then.

Danny’s complete lack of reaction and emotion in this situation confirms my theory on him being a liiiiiiiiiiittle detached from reality. But then...the most gloriously stupid thing I’ve seen this month happens.

Arnold proceeds to make a pun that is NOT “Nasty brainfreeze,” and I am disappointed forever. Who wrote this? Who wrote this?

We get a car chase fueled with jumps, gunfire, puns, a casual mention of premature ejaculation, and Coca Cola product placement, all accompanied by Danny finally showing a modicum of reaction to the fact that he is IN A FUCKING MOVIE. REACT MORE, DANNY. At his age, I would have soiled myself immediately. At MY age, I would soil myself if this happened to me! Anyway...

OK, I just have to say this now: this movie has some of the most insane shots and set-ups that I’ve ever seen, and by GOD, I am here for it. Like...Did you SEE the motorcycle dress girl panic while a man WAS ON FIRE IN THE BACKGROUND? Earlier, a car does an INSANE jump and crash and explodes in the BACKGROUND, and the movie just treats it like a pigeon flew on set! Nobody cares! THE SCENES IN THIS MOVIE MAKE INSANITY AN ART FORM.

Anyway...we get to the LAPD, and...HOLY SHIT. IS THAT…

Was that Sharon Stone as Catherine Trammel from Basic Instinct, and Robert Patrick as T1000 from Terminator 2? I...but...wait...if...how...I’m broken now. 404, blue screen, reboot, update needed, WHAT?!? I...just...SO many questions, and this movie better answer them.

We see some added insanity, including a man with a houndstooth suit which I DESPERATELY WANT but could not pull off. There’s literally a buddy cop generator, where we also see a rabbi cop, and an Amadeus reference is dropped as F. Murray goddamn Abraham (playing a cop named Practice) appears in this movie, and THEN...an animated cat cop sexually harasses a female cop. I am not joking.

Am...am I insane? Also, if I was in the theaters watching this movie-in-a-movie, I would be both angry and confused as to what in the FUCK was happening!!! WHY IS THERE AN ANIMATED CAT COP IN MY JACK SLATER MOVIE? WHO DIRECTED THIS BULLSHIT (in universe)?? Also that cat was recently suspended, and is also one of their best men.

And then, Danny uses his knowledge of the Jack Slater franchise to break down the barriers of repressed affection between the chief and Slater, and it’s briefly heartwarming for some reason. Anyway, they’re now suspicious of his knowledge of Slater’s life, and this leaves to the inevitable buddy cop pairing of Jack Slater and Danny Madigan. This art-deco something walks by…

...and I desperately need to know more about the art direction of this film. Because, wow, it is an absolute masterpiece of randomly exaggerated shit, damn.

To prove his point about being in a movie, Danny goes to a Blockbuster, which... man, does THAT bring me back! That’s right you young whippersnappers, I WAS THERE FOR BLOCKBUSTER IN THE ‘90s! We used to go to the store and look at the VHSs. I remember seeing The Lost World there, but my dad said I was too young for it. I was sad, but he got me some candy and a Really Wild Animals video, and we watched it that night after Carmen Sandiego. My God. It was paradise.

Anyway, Schwarzenegger doesn’t exist, and find out that Stallone has taken over his roles.

...I’d watch that. I’d watch the HELL out of that. Danny then uses some legitimately impressive math to dissect the “555” number thing in movies, as well as pointing out the lack of non-conventionally attractive women. Which, credit to you, kiddo, for addressing the overwrought emphasis on conventional attractiveness that permeated Hollywood at this time, and to this day. I mean, he’s not criticizing it, but he is pointing it out, and that’s better than nothing in the ‘90s.

Danny guides his way to Vivaldi’s house, where the butler is...Professor Toru Tanaki! He looks exactly like Odd Job from the James Bond series, but the actor is SubZero from The Running Man! You know, the hockey killer!

Anyway, after crack about Schwarzenegger’s “I’ll be back” line, a conversation with Benedict (who has a smiley face instead of a bullseye), and some terrible CGI dogs, Benedict becomes correctly convinced that something’s up with Danny. They arrive at his house, and his college-aged daughter Whitney (played by Bridgette Wilson, in her first film role in and out of the movie, in a neat little twist!) kisses Danny directly on the mouth, and I’m a liiiiiiittle uncomfortable with that. Anyway, we brush right past that, and realize that his son...died. Oh. Uh. Guess we didn’t see the end of that movie, huh? Yikes. Poor Jack.

Hey, Benedict and his gang arrive at Slater’s place! Fun! There’s a sort-of amusing play on “harming a hair on one’s head,” and the interrogation continues. Charles Dance is legitimately threatening as Benedict. And, while we’re at it, Bridgette Wilson has an entertaining action sequence all her own.

Anyway, Jack arrives, and makes a ridiculous jump off of the balcony to pursue Benedict. Benedict name drops getting a tank, which I’m assuming is named the Chekov (film trope reference there, have a good time). Danny realizes that he’s the comedy sidekick of the movie, and at this point, I need to mention something: in case you haven’t noticed, this film is delightfully meta. And I love that about it. 

But it’s also...cluttered. You’ll see what I mean in a little bit, but real talk, I didn’t realize that Benedict had stolen the ticket until Danny mentioned it, because I was apparently quite distracted. And this is an important plot point, as Benedict soon realizes the true power of the ticket, cleverly overlaid by the opening to the Twilight Zone, with Rod Serling mentioning traveling to another dimension. Also...his eye was a bomb. What. Anyway, that explosion results in Slater officially getting fired from the department, and the chief...

Um. Yeah, this movie is also kind of a cartoon, not including the cartoon cat. And you have no idea how much I’m omitting from this movie. The digitization of Humphrey Bogart, the fact that Slater can’t say “fuck” in a PG-13 movie, the surprising character realization that Slater’s ex-wife is actually remarried, the clearly dominatrix cop clad in leather, the fact that there’s a plan to detonate a nerve gas-infused bomb stuffed into a dead man nicknamed Leo the Fart at his own funeral, a digitization of Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, I said that last one twice, because the effect actually holds up really well, like, seriously.

OK, let’s take a break, yeah? Part 2 later today!

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

What happened to katherine?

Nothing’s happened to her; she got an instagram account, which is awesome, and she’s been using it just to promote a charity she’s working with called “SpareHand” that are providing food and supplies to those who need it during the pandemic. She was even out there volunteering with Jude Law at a primary school in London yesterday to sort through supplies. 

So basically Katherine is a lovely human being who’s actually doing good volunteer work during this quarantine and NOT just preaching at us while she’s all cosy and safe, and we should all stan her, thank you.

Basically, the problem is that there’s a seriously creepy and messed up fan harassing Katherine/Katherine’s fans and smearing her name.

There’s a LOT under the cut - please read at your own risk.

Years ago, back before CoG came out, there used to be a fan called “Candy Working” on Twitter who was a HUGE fan of Katherine, like her whole twitter was just Katherine related and it was all she could talk about. She kept saying that she was going to meet her at the premiere, blah blah blah. Anyway, during the summer of 2018, a private account appeared that we believed to be Katherine’s - most of us followed it, which is a huge sign something was up because why would she have a private account only to accept fans as follower requests? But we wanted it to be Katherine so bad - myself included. I’m ashamed to admit I told that account stuff in confidence believing it was Katherine, which I’ll get back to in a minute. As it soon turned out, however, the account was a fake - photos posted were either extremely blurred or very generic, or they could be found online with some digging. One of Katherine’s friends, an up and coming filmmaker who regularly speaks with fans, confirmed it was not Katherine. A huge giveaway was that the captions/messages from the account were in broken English and sounded nothing like how she speaks, and Katherine’s brother wasn’t following it, neither were her friends like Henri and the Beasts cast. 

To cut to the chase, it was Candy. Candy made the account posing as Katherine. A dead giveaway is that “Katherine” went on a mass deleting followers spree and pretty much got rid of everyone BUT Candy. After that, a lot of us Waterstans got more savvy about things and we told Candy to stop. Candy denied it and for a long time we heard very little. Another thing Candy did in 2018, shortly after, however is editing Katherine and Callum Turner’s wikipedia pages to say that they were dating each other.

Over the past few years, more accounts have appeared posing as Katherine; using my fan accounts, and working with other fans, we’ve shut them all down. Until recently, Katherine has had no social media whatsoever because she’s a very private person, and we as fans should respect that.

Cut to very recently. Yet another troll account appeared on twitter - you see, someone (hint hint) has made account after account, tweeting things about Katherine and her father, saying vile and hurtful things about them. For example, they’re convinced on saying that Katherine is a horrible person, that her and her dad are involved in “child sacrifices” and the pedophile ring in Hollywood, and they’ve attacked Katherine’s fans regularly. Yes, we know it was Candy - all these accounts have the exact same writing style and way of speaking. It’s painfully obvious. Anyway, this account was posting shit, and I happened to click on it whilst on my laptop instead of my phone - and that’s when I noticed that they had posted a pic of me at my uni graduation because it was under their media section. I’ve posted the screenshot before, and I’m on my laptop right now so I’m not going to go digging for it since it’s slow, but it’s on my blog (this AND the Katherine fan blog I run). 

Here’s a rundown of what happened:

They used the pic of me at graduation, asked if anyone remembered my name, and then tweeted in on a public platform, saying I was from London (which I’m not exactly, I’m outside of London)

They made up lies about me, took a screenshot from my Katherine blog where I expressed my disappointment regarding a project I had done for her birthday, and said it was proof that Katherine hates her fans

When I blocked them on my fan/usual twitter, they tracked down three of my other ones and continued to tweet/harass me, even when friends of mine told them to stop.

I was truly upset about the graduation thing and asked them to take it down - they refused and said it was a google leak and I should delete all of my accounts because of it.

I just want to say that while the picture is indeed on my personal instagram and on one of my blogs, there’s a HUGE difference between ME posting it to share my excitement/joy, and some CREEP online reposting it WITHOUT my permission in order to smear both me AND someone I look up to.

This account - besides attacking Katherine fans and Katherine herself - was constantly tweeting that 5G caused Coronavirus, was a Trump and Boris supporter, and just in general a tinhatter. 

By the way, they claim to know Katherine very well and keep saying about “her son D”, her “rich millionaire husband”, how “katherine is going to post her memoirs and a documentary”. I don’t believe Candy knows anything at all, or if she does than it’s certainly not because she knows Katherine; but the fact that she’s supposedly giving out private information about Katherine’s private life (her baby, for example!) is HELLA creepy and nasty and rings a LOT of alarm bells.

Eventually, with a lot of fans reporting it, the account got terminated.

On Katherine’s instagram in the last week, an account on instagram has popped up and it’s so bizarre, to say the least; they constantly spam her with comments, firstly saying somewhat nice stuff before switching to harassing and being rude - saying she has no career, her fans are couch potatoes, that she’s brainwashed her fans, that the Beasts films are only successful because of Eddie, Jude and Johnny. We all know it’s Candy, we’ve all confirmed it. Again, same writing style, blah blah blah.You can see the comments on any of Katherine’s instagram posts to be honest, but I posted screenshots of some HERE.

Candy of course started to mention ME by name again. Because she’s fucking wacko. Calling me “No 1 London fan Megan” or some shit, saying I have a GoFundMe page to meet Katherine, which I don’t - I had one for my Tina Goldstein cosplay back in 2017, and the only reason I did was because I posted about being worried that I couldn’t afford it, and a bunch of people jumped in and said that they’d be more than happy to give some money in exchange for fics and as a “thank you” for the fics I had written. Frankly, it still stuns me that happened. But that’s not the point; they’ve spouted lies and shit that make me look bad, targeting me as well as a few fans specifically (namely the KW Russia account - who are very nice, by the way!). The spamming itself if unsettling, let alone what she’s actually saying. Candy also made an account called “Katherine Waterston Toronto” that she’s since made private after being called out, again spouting the same shit as she did before and on instagram. 

We’re all reporting the accounts as best we can, but Twitter and Instagram are...well, we know what it’s like when it comes to reporting accounts (side-eyeing @staff for NOT taking down the TWO blogs that were specifically created JUST to make call-out posts about ME and every bad thing I’ve done in the past 5 years - good job, guys! Adult content isn’t allowed but call-out blogs calling for someone to be fucking arrested and to be banned from the fandom are A-OKAY!!) I’m hoping that Katherine is either not reading the comments or that if she does, she’ll see it’s a troll and just block them.

What’s interesting, though, is that Candy is claiming that Katherine has “hurt” her in some way, and that Katherine or her family got the police involved...something like that. Very interesting. Again, could be more steaming shit from what is clearly the world’s biggest tinhatter, but it honestly would not shock me if Katherine/her family got freaked out and contacted cops.

[itsmajel]

Majel Reads - June 2018

Flash / DC - Coldfalsh

[What is this?]

At the End of the Rainbow by Crimson1

Fear Effect by Crimson1

My Barry by Crimson1

His Barry by Crimson1

Spellbound by Crimson1

Everyday Kinks by Crimson1

Silhouette by Crimson1

Veritas by Crimson1

You Make Me Swoon by Crimson1

Never Call Me Leo by Crimson1

Like a Natural Disaster by Crimson1

Only Tease If You Promise To Deliver by Crimson1

We Cannot Meet Death Better by Crimson1

The Immaculate Barry Allen by Crimson1

Hands-On Stimulation by Crimson1

Ride like Lightning, Crash like Thunder by Crimson1

Vertigo by Crimson1

Out Cold by Crimson1

Timeless by Crimson1

The Color of Love by Crimson1

A Model Escort by Crimson1

Consummating a Marriage of Convenience by RedHead ( @coldtomyflash)

Consummating a Marriage of Convenience by RedHead ( @coldtomyflash​)

Detailed List including summaries, ratings and wordcounts under the cut.

At the End of the Rainbow by Crimson1

Just as Captain Cold is being taken into custody after a foiled heist, the Rainbow Raider manages to put the whammy on Flash. He whisks Cold away to a secluded warehouse intent on taking his rage out on him, when his anger leads to confessions of other things he'd like to do to Cold, and Cold decides to encourage that to save his skin. Better than getting his face smashed in. Much, much better.

Part 1 of At the End of the Rainbow

[Explicit] [4,682 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Fear Effect by Crimson1

Rainbow Raider has learned to instill more than just rage in his victims, so when Captain Cold gets hit with paralyzing fear, it's up to The Flash to save him, and then comfort him in the aftermath.

Ongoing series of various ways Bivolo whammying someone with a particular emotion leads to sex.

Part 2 of At the End of the Rainbow

[Explicit] [8,586 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

My Barry by Crimson1

When another Snart falls out of a dimensional rift unconscious, of course Barry has to save him. He just doesn't expect this Snart to be so different, or for the way he says 'my Barry' when talking about his universe to make Barry so very, very curious.

[Not Rated] [2,915 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

His Barry by Crimson1

Direct sequel to My Barry, per reader request.

Len starts receiving regular visitations from a certain Barry Allen, who seems to want more than just to save his soul, maybe...to get to know him, with the subtle flirtations Len often dismissed before seeming more plausible. Thus canon events turn out slightly differently with Jesse, Mardon, and Christmas in Central City, and Len eventually meets Earth-3 Len and Barry, which has the opposite affect on him as it did Barry because he's certain he can never be what his Barry wants.

[General Audiences] [3,252 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Spellbound by Crimson1

After a meta (or magic user, Barry isn't entirely sure) whammies him to play out his most secret desires, without having any control over his body or his words until he fulfills that, he is understandably surprised that he winds up at Leonard Snart's door.

[Not Rated] [7,133 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Everyday Kinks by Crimson1

Len ponders loneliness watching his sister get closer to Cisco, only to receive company and an offer from The Flash he never expected. Or, Barry gives Len a backrub after a mission

[Teen And Up Audiences] [1,741 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Silhouette by Crimson1

Barry takes advice from Iris and Cisco to defeat Cold in a whole new way - by being a better thief. Donning a new persona and costume, Barry becomes Silhouette, the best thief in Central, who consistently beats Captain Cold to his heists, stealing the loot out from under him (while secretly having made a deal with the proprietors, and returning the loot later). Cold isn't sure if he's upset by this new player targeting him...or intrigued. Eventually, the truth comes out.

[Explicit] [12,839 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Veritas by Crimson1

Len gets hit with a truth spell while helping Barry take care of a wayward sorceress. Spending an entire day at S.T.A.R. Labs with Cisco and Caitlin to figure out how to undo the spell, and eventually spending the evening with Barry, pulls more confessions from Len than he ever thought possible - especially when his biggest secret is his larger than life crush on a certain Scarlet Speedster.

[Teen And Up Audiences] [7,287 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

You Make Me Swoon by Crimson1

When Barry rushes home to eat something after almost passing out on the job, finding nothing in his cupboards or fridge to help him is the absolute last straw. Lately, it's just been too much, and he collapses in tears and barely controlled consciousness. The last thing he expects is for Leonard Snart to come walking into his kitchen after him.

[General Audiences] [1,038 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Never Call Me Leo by Crimson1

Leo is what Lewis called Len. Fine when he was a child, but the name roils in his gut to hear as an adult, especially after his father's death and traveling through time. When a man from his father's past uses the name, everything in Len snaps, and it takes Mick and Barry to rein him in and help him heal in the aftermath. For Barry, it seems there might be something more than respect for his nemesis that draws him to Len's defense.

Spoilers for Legends episode Blood Ties.

[Teen And Up Audiences] [3,785 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Like a Natural Disaster by Crimson1

When Captain Cold sacrifices himself to kill Zoom, he rises from his seeming demise as a meta human. As Barry seems to be the only source of heat that comforts Snart, and the only one unaffected by the chill of his touch, what builds between them with the connection of their powers is like nothing either could have expected.

[Mature] [9,185 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Only Tease If You Promise To Deliver by Crimson1

Barry, in a stroke of mischief after accidentally copping a feel of Snart's ass, starts messing with the man at high speeds on purpose to see if he can get a reaction from him. Snart, while seeming flustered by the attention, is not going to let this go unpunished. He comes up with a trap...and Barry finds himself at the mercy of Captain Cold.

Tumblr prompt: Barry's super speedy sexual harassment.

[Explicit] [2,832 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

We Cannot Meet Death Better by Crimson1

“Someone else should be here,” Barry said with a frown. “You’re a hero.”

Snart snorted, cocking an eyebrow at Barry as if they were back in 2024, maybe even back in 2014 when everything started. “You expecting a parade for the death of Captain Cold? All things considered with the Justice League, kid, I’m not all that memorable.”

“You are to me.”

Barry wakes up after being stuck in the Speed Force for forty years because of the crisis of 2024 to find that almost everyone he loves is dead. After seeing Iris and Snart, he decides to go back in time to change things. What he doesn't expect is just how differently a life he decides to lead.

[Mature] [10,738 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

The Immaculate Barry Allen by Crimson1

Barry is cursed to lose his powers until he loses his virginity. Sounds like a job for Captain Cold.

OR

AU with everything being the same except no Earth-2 or Zoom, just normal Flash business Barry has been dealing with since the Singularity.

Legends still happened, and Len was found soon after the Oculus explosion adrift in time, and is now ‘on leave’. To pass the time, he’s decided to get back to his roots by robbing a few places.

Barry is not amused. He’s also a virgin. But no one’s supposed to know that. Except that the meta of the week (or witch? Barry doesn’t even know) seems to be able to look right into his soul and see that he’s never had sex. She also thinks it’s funny, apparently, to curse him to lose his powers until he does something about it.

Enter Snart. Which is definitely a very bad (very good?) idea.

[Explicit] [11,073 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Hands-On Stimulation by Crimson1

When Barry runs to the Legends for some time away from the mess he's made of the timeline, an accident robs him of the use of his legs, but a special balm and a volunteer to apply it are all it will take to help him walk again.

Len, who remembers every version of the timeline Barry created thanks to his time in the Oculus, is only too happy to take one for the team, if only to have the chance to touch Barry again, like he had in one of the lost timelines Barry changed.

Neither are being honest, and both want something they don't think they can say.

*Canon-divergent, but more or less in line with this season.*

[Mature] [5,944 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Ride like Lightning, Crash like Thunder by Crimson1

Barry has finally given up on ever meeting his soulmate. He just wants a night to forget. Saints and Sinners seems like the perfect place and has nothing to do with possibly running into Leonard Snart.

[Mature] [8,920 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Vertigo by Crimson1

Len didn’t know how he got into these messes with Barry.

Only of course he did. He was the one who chose to go out into the field every time because he didn’t trust Barry to play hero without delving back into his villainous ways. He was the one who’d blackmailed a thief into being a hero in the first place.

[Mature] [6,856 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Out Cold by Crimson1

Captain Cold's plan for a bit of fun with his nemesis results in more than he bargained for when a head wound from dashing to Flash's rescue leaves him without any memories of who he or The Flash is. As Barry nurses Len back to health, both of them quickly start to hope that he never remembers being Captain Cold as the attraction they feel for each other turns into something more without the pitfalls of being enemies to stand in their way.

AU with everything having happened up to the Season 1 finale, except Eddie shot Eobard instead of himself, killing him, and the singularity didn’t happen.

[Mature] [ 200,156 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Timeless by Crimson1

A voice in the Speed Force reaches Barry in his Timeless state to convince him to come home. Barry misses that voice once he’s back in real-time, but he has to set things right and save as many lives as he can.

While that means Iris will be with Eddie instead of him, he can’t mourn her. She’ll always be dear to him, but he wants her to be happy above all, and he has seen every timeline and knows the life and love he will get to have instead. He just needs to keep fighting to finish his calculations in time to defeat Eobard and return to his loved ones for good.

Thankfully, a certain thief brings clarity like no one else can.

AU season 1 with Barry from pre-season 4.1 returning from the Speed Force to the moment he woke up from his original coma.

[Explicit] [59,824 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

The Color of Love by Crimson1

Len gave up on love a long time ago. In the aftermath of the Oculus explosion, when an old flame comes back to haunt him, he just wants something normal to distract him from it all. He never expected that two of his favorite things—a heist and the Scarlet Speedster—could end with him drowning in the very emotion he spurned.

OR Rainbow Raider strikes again – Len gets hit with LOVE.

[Mature] [157,217 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

A Model Escort by Crimson1

Barry Allen just got out of a long-term relationship he wants to forget. Lucky for him, his new career in Star City allows him to start over hundreds of miles from his ex. The only problem is...he's lonely and terrible at starting new relationships. He just wishes that part of his life could be easier.

Leonard Snart is an escort for Nick of Time Escort Service. He is especially picky about the clients he takes on, but lately, he's felt like something is missing from his life. He doesn't usually take on regulars looking for companionship more than sex, but the right client might be able to change his mind.

OR

Len is an escort and Barry needs someone to hold him - no powers AU.

[Mature] [63,309 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Consummating a Marriage of Convenience by RedHead ( @coldtomyflash)

Stuck in Iron Heights, when Len gets told it’s time for his conjugal visit, he can’t help but be surprised because the last he checked, he wasn’t married. But then, Barry Allen always manages to surprise him.

[Explicit] [5,670 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Consummating a Marriage of Convenience by RedHead ( @coldtomyflash​)

Stuck in Iron Heights, when Len gets told it’s time for his conjugal visit, he can’t help but be surprised because the last he checked, he wasn’t married. But then, Barry Allen always manages to surprise him.

[Explicit] [5,670 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

- - - - - - - - - -

( All summaries are the official summaries of the author. Stats and infos as according to hosting site or information given by the author. If any of the authors that have been tagged don’t want to be tagged, or if any of you know the tumblr names of the ones I haven’t tagged please let me know!)

Looking for more reading inspiration? Check out my fic rec tag here on tumblr, this month reading list masterpost for what I’ve read in other fandoms this month, my all-time reading list masterpost for more of this fandom or just check out my AO3 bookmarks.

[rye-views]

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly. 7.4/10

Look at all these minor characters that I know.

This concept of feeling so crazy was such a relatable feel in high school.

Supportive parents.

Memorable Quotes: ““Do you feel alone right now?”  “I don’t know. I mean I’d like to believe I’m not, but I just…I’ve just never seen any proof, so I just don’t debate it any more.””

Spoiler: [About Donnie Darko waking up after falling from his bike. He goes back home to his parents, Eddie and Rose, his little sister, Samantha, and his older sister, Elizabeth. Elizabeth is waiting to see if she got into Harvard and mentions to her family that she’s voting for Dukakis, who their dad is against. Donnie fights with Elizabeth and mentions that she should go to therapy instead of him. Later, his mom asks him where he goes at night and why he stopped taking his pills. Donnie takes his pills that night and sleepwalks out of the house. He hears a voice talk to him and meets the voice from a man in a bunny costume. The man tells him that the world will end at a specific time. Elizabeth sneaks back home and a crash happens, waking everyone up. Donnie wakes up at the golf course and comes home to the police. A jet engine had crashed into his room. The family moves to a hotel. The kids talk about how the people don’t know where the engine came from. Eddie talks with Rose about how their high school classmate died and how Donnie could’ve been talked about like he was. Donnie smokes with some guys at the bus station as the guys make fun of Cherita Chen. She tells them to shut up and Donnie tells the guys to leave her alone. Karen is the English teacher and is currently teaching about Graham Greene’s The Destructors. Donnie explains what he thinks of it until a new student, Gretchen, arrives. She is told to sit next to the cutest boy and sits next to Donnie. Donnie and Eddie are driving and almost crash into Roberta Sparrow, who is in the middle of the road checking her mail. She says something to Donnie. She is also known as Grandma Death. Donnie goes to therapy and talks about Frank, the bunny. The students watch a video about controlling fear by Jim Cunningham. That night, Donnie goes somewhere and swings an axe. Samantha writes a story about the last unicorn. As the kids wait for the bus, they hear that school is closed because of a flooding. The principal sees that the water main is busted and an axe is stuck on the bronze statue of the mascot. Donnie lets the kids at a different bus station know that school is cancelled. Ricky and Seth were harassing Gretchen and she asks Donnie to walk her home. They talk about why she moved here and she mentions her stepdad stabbing her mom and they moved under different names. He asks her out and she agrees. Donnie goes to therapy and Dr. Thurman tries hypnosis on him. He thinks about how often he wants to fuck. Seth puts a knife to Donnie’s neck after thinking he told the cops that Seth caused the flooding. Donnie and his friends talk about the sexuality of the Smurfs. They later watch Grandma Death check the mail over and over. At a PTA meeting, Kitty Farmer wants to ban the book “The Destructors”. She is a teacher and a parent. Donnie talks to Frank from the mirror and learns of time travel. Kitty later teaches about love and fear and when Donnie is brought up to answer a question, he talks about how the prompt is stupid since there is more to life than those two emotions. The prompt involves putting a situation onto the spectrum of love and hate. His was about pocketing the cash in a wallet he finds. His parents are brought in since he tells the teacher to shove it up her ass. Donnie talks to Professor Kenneth about time travel to understand it. He is given the book “The philosophy of Time Travel” written by Roberta Sparrow. He reads it. Donnie talks about everything in therapy and says Roberta told him that every living creature in the world dies alone. He doesn’t want to die alone. As the Superbowl is being watched at home, Donnie notices these forms coming out of every person and how it guides what they’re going to do next. It’s seeing their future visually. He sees his own and follows it to the closet, where he hides his gun. Gretchen talks about sad memories being replaced by nice ones and he wants to kiss her, but she wants it to be more special. Donnie makes Frank as a pumpkin carving for Halloween. Donnie’s parents meet with Dr. Thurman and learns of Frank and

how Donnie experiences things common with paranoid schizophrenics. Donnie later plays games at the arcade talks of his sleepwalking with Gretchen. Jim Cunningham holds an assembly to help everyone with their questions. When Donnie asks his question, he talks of how this is all stupid and he answers the other kids’ questions himself. He talks of Jim being a fraud with Gretchen later and then mentions how he sees things. They go to Roberta’s place and he hears the voice tell him to send her a letter. Professor continues teaching him about time travel, but ultimately stops it and says he could be fired. Karen lets it known that “The Destructors” was banned. Donnie finds Jim’s wallet on the floor and sees his address. For class, Gretchen and Donnie present an invention to help babies form memories earlier through happy images. The teacher brings up an argument and Seth brings up a bad idea and follows it up with Gretchen’s dad being a stabber. She leaves and Donnie apologizes to her about the guys and they kiss. They go to the movies and she falls asleep. He sees Frank and asks him why he wears the suit. He reveals his self and how one eye is shot up. He mentions his name being Frank because it’s his dad’s name and his grandpa’s. Frank shows him the portal on the movie screen and is told to burn it to the ground. The talent show is happening right now and Donnie’s parents are proud of Samantha performing with her friends as Sparkle Motion. At this time, Donnie sets fire to a place and heads back to the theater as Gretchen wakes up. Eddie advises Donnie on life and makes him happier. The news reveals that a fire occurred at a kiddie porn dungeon owned by Cunningham. Karen is fired for having inappropriate teaching methods, but can teach for the remainder of the week. Kitty learns about the news after being such an advocate for Jim’s ways. Karen shows a movie about a bunny and Donnie brings up his argument about not caring about dead rabbits. Gretchen brings up an argument against him. Kitty comes to Rose to ask her to take Sparkle Motion to the competition in Los Angeles since she can’t. She’s going to Cunningham’s arraignment tomorrow to advocate for his defense campaign. Rose goes. Donnie writes a letter to Roberta. He learns of Karen being fired, but talks of how she’s the best teacher. She has the word cellar door written on the board and he asks about it. She mentions a linguist saying those are the most beautiful words. Donnie sees Cherita and tells her that he’ll make things better and she runs away after saying shut up. He sees her drop a journal that has his name and a heart on it. In therapy, he admits to the crimes. He says he has to listen to Frank or he’ll be alone. She talks of how the world could change if he does something and he’d be alone with just Frank. After the hypnosis, she tells him that he’s an agnostic. He gets Elizabeth to agree to a party while Mom and Dad are gone. Gretchen comes over and tells him that her mom is gone. They make out and get undressed. He later follows the form in him and sees the refrigerator whiteboard say that Frank was here and went to get beer. He takes his friends and Gretchen to Grandma Death’s. He goes into the cellar, but is ambushed by Seth and Ricky. He and Gretchen are hurt and brought outside. A car arrives and runs over Gretchen. Seth and Ricky are gone and Frank and some guy come out of the car. Frank is just a regular guy in a bunny suit right now and Donnie shoots him in the eye. The other guy leaves. Roberta tells him that the storm is coming and he must hurry. Donnie takes Gretchen’s body to his home and they take the car away. He watches from afar the storm. His family is on the plane and experience turbulence from the storm. Donnie goes back in time and dies from the jet engine. His family is sad. Frank draws the bunny. Gretchen passes by the home as she learns of the guy who got killed and how she doesn’t know him. She waves hi to Rose.]

[frostbiteandglitter]

Gotham S 1 thoughts

Ok so finished season one last night.

Butch actually broke my heart and the love Fish had for him is my reason for living. 12/10 love

I have a lot of feelings abt Eddie, Im not a huge huge fan of the psychological break they gave him. Its such weird characterization from the intelligent, Witty, And generally confident Eddie we normally see in comics/ DCAU. Maybe hes gonna grow into his bad self but all of season one his majority of scenes with Kristen Kringle made me uncomfortable.

Poor girl looked ready to have a nervous breakdown. And she doesnt get any characterization really so we have no idea why Edward even likes her. She's just used as a item for manpain and to push Ed over the deep end. I wish she had more time to be a actual character. 4/10 Kris Kringle jokes

Edward needs better riddles also fight me on this 3/10 riddles.

I liked Tom when he first came in I thought it was sweet he was nice to Edward and cute he gave him the nickname Riddle man. Then he pulled a Griffith and broke my heart. 11/10 got what he deserved.

I love and appreciate that Rene broke up with Babs for her own wellbeing, Rene is sober and being around someone Especially being in a relationship with someone whos using can and will cause you to relapse. Didnt see alot of her at the end of the season tho im assuming shes working on herself tho. 7/10 Self love but missed her.

Never trusted Babs made me sad that Jason died would've been cool to have a baddie couple as foil to Jim and Lee 8/10 BDSM dead muder boyfriend.

In this house we love and appreciate Harvey Bullock. Made me laugh very hard Fish was like "We cool." Hes a genuinely good cop Imo but like a chaotic good just want him to be happy. 10/10 alcoholism.

Lee is going to break my heart I know it but I love and appreciate her anyways. 9/10 ready to suffer for her.

Bruce is so adorable I love him such a sweet boy Alfred will grow into being a mom someday Selina and Ivy have a great sisterhood 10/10 family bonds.

Jim is doing his best poor guy cant catch a break someone let him rest PLEASE 8/10 lack of sleep

Victor Zasaz looks like the I Am Legend vampires with a better jawline people have wrote fics for this man??? Sinners??? Fuck guns give him a knife and lemme see them tally marks. 9/10 Will smith would kill

Oswald cobblepot is a lil bitch. But honestly I want an educated,portly, mob boss like in the comics. What the fuck is this disco vampire shit. Codotverse Penguin and Riddler are the best ones in my professional opinion. 2/10 umbrella gun

Gotham season one overall 7.8/10 would recommend to friends but would not harass to watch.

BONUS

Jonathan Crane makes me depressed in every incarnation. Scriddler in Gotham is dead no wonder Nygmobblepot became a thing. Which is a weird ship imo but would only ship Gotham Nygmobblepot 1/10 ships sailing

[fixomnia-scribble]

Blue Bloods 8x08 Ramble

“Pick Your Poison”

Spoilers...

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I don’t recall an episode that pulled the tension so tightly in different directions in every single storyline. The writers nailed it, and my God, the actors dug deep. If the scripts have been a little distant and the action removed from center stage this season, tonight was like being in the front row of a tight, intimate theatre-in-the-round play, with the tight cinematography, the unforgiving lighting and the actors utterly believing every line. Amazing.

Okay, so. The “Real Samaritans” storyline and the outbreak of bloody, racialized, deliberately instigated violence was both difficult to watch and incredibly raw and real. And though it may serve as a warning, it wasn’t even an exaggeration of what’s going on in some cities. Danny and Baez delivered what it’s like to draw upon a long, solid partnership for strength, first trying to keep each other going through a series of stomach-churning interviews, with their usual rhythm, and then slowly becoming more frantic and sickened with each new layer of retaliation. I actually feel like adding ‘Despite the circumstances...’ - it was nice to see Marisa get a chance to show Baez in action as a seasoned Detective, not as straight-woman or visual reaction to Danny’s one-liners. And Donnie continues to win me over as an actor despite my knee-jerk reaction against showy, smirky boy-band alumni.

The Pot Question is one that is raging on both sides of the ‘49, with some Mounties also being held up as test cases, just as the NYPD, LAPD and others try to decide how to deal with cops using legal pot products in legal jurisdictions. The slightly clandestine dinner-table scene, with just the adults attending, was a moment of necessary levity in among the heaviness, and I adored Henry’s tales of smoking reefer with the likes of Miles Davis, after-hours in the old clubs. (You just know Danny and Erin used to share and unload about their suffocating family, as teenagers - and that Jamie tried it just once or twice at Harvard when things got really, really intense.) Once again, though, Madam Mayor just grates on me, as much as I like Lorraine Bracco. It seems as though everything that throws the Mayor’s and the Police Commissioner’s office together just brings out the worst in the pair of them, and not in a bantery way, but merely exhausting. I didn’t think Frank was giving her “smoke and mirrors” at all, but trying to walk her through the thicket of policy he was trying to navigate in order to uphold the law while still keeping a rock-solid, decorated cop on the job. Sid and Garrett really are turning into the Odd Couple, and I love it.

And now. Eddie and Jamie. Holy bleeping bleep. Vanessa and Will delivered some Emmy-level scenes, and that’s not me blathering on as a fan. Vanessa’s fine-grained subtlety and timing, and Will’s great big heart just sent their characters’ interactions into a different level. The topicality of sexual harassment, ritualized abuse of women in male-dominated spaces, and the supposed obligation of survivors to “accept apologies” - these are all conversations taking place all over the world right now, among women, and with good-hearted men asking what they can truly do to help prevent and help heal. At first, as with many viewers, I was just thrilled to watch Vanessa kicking 5′3″ ass on not one but two unassisted takedowns. And then things got dark. And darker. And all the righteous weight of the law and the love and support of her partner and best friend couldn’t do anything to prevent all the humiliation and scouring pain of ten years ago coming flooding back.

The bar scene with Jamie and Erin and Eddie was beautifully timed between all three of them. Eddie encountering Reagan sibling solidarity, and not on her side, was daunting as hell, and all the more difficult because Jamie and Erin so clearly *were* trying to help. I love that we got to see Eddie unvarnished, not just backchatty and bantery, not just a tough-girl cop but a survivor whose empathy and defense mechanisms both arise from everything has had to fight her way back from. I think I saw a little flicker in her eye when Jamie started teasing her again, later on, that made me think she was on the road to grudgingly admitting that he really had stopped her from making a potentially serious mistake by trying to oversell a minor charge as an arrestable offense, because of a grievous harm done ten years earlier. Because she’d have done the same. And for Jamie to treat her with kid gloves would have been far worse. (Also? I really hope she and Erin go for drinks again, alone, and keep developing what ought to be a kick-ass allyship.)

I loved that Eddie explained clearly why she wasn’t accepting Skip’s apology, as per the script that survivors are often told to follow for their own good. This is something that friends of mine have been discussing at length all week, as floods of apologies come at us for actual or perceived harms done in the past. I didn’t love so much that Skip was turned into a martyr for “stepping up” when he had another chance to intervene when women in his bar were sexually attacked, though of course I applaud the spirit of the thing. My reason is that it’s almost always those who were not the major perpetrators - like Skip, who stood by when Eddie was attacked in college - who have the capacity for guilt and try to atone. The active attackers rarely care. Like those who pounded Skip for trying to stop them.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about Eddie poking Skip’s cracked rib, the way it was played off. It seemed like a moment of cold cruelty on Eddie’s part. And then I watched it again and it fell into place. It seemed cold because it *was* a ritual. Skip kept begging her to “make them evens”, and he was freaking out and causing himself further injury, bleeding out on the floor. Eddie delivering a ritual blow that actually hurt him meant that he could accept that they were done, and they both started to release everything they’d been holding onto. Understand, I do not and would never condone physical pain as a means of “evening scores” with an attacker, especially a person who was already gravely injured. But in the weird conjunction of their pasts and presents, it made a visceral sort of sense, especially as Eddie switched instantaneously to her usual competent care-taking mode the moment it was over.

Phew. And now I am going to write some more sweetness for these lovely people, because they need it.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: We’ll All Go Together When We Go (ao3) - chapter 4 Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Barry Allen/Mick Rory, Leonard Snart & Mick Rory

Summary: Doomworld takes some time to fix. Barry and Mick use that time to find each other.

(written for @flashwaveweek 2017 for Day 6: Domestic)

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"Beep! It's six forty five! Time to wake up!"

"Noooooo," Barry moans.

"Beep! Six forty six! Time to wake up!"

"Miiiiick," Barry says, burying his face in his boyfriend's arm. "Make him stop."

Mick huffs into semi-awareness. "Lenny," he says groggily. "Stop harassing my boyfriend."

That gives Barry a happy feeling in his stomach. Mick isn't always one to give a name to what they have, much less one as undignified as boyfriend.

That happy feeling makes him crack his eyes open, hoping maybe to see his boyfriend (now official!) and possibly reward his heroic gesture with a kiss.

This is a tactical error.

A fully dressed Snart stands by the bed, grinning a positively wicked smile.

They're not even in Mick's apartment, where Snart at least lives right upstairs and had a spare key. They're in Barry's apartment, which is in a totally different neighborhood, in a walk-up, and had been locked up for the night.

Not that little things like locked doors ever stopped Leonard goddamn Snart.

"Scarlet, you told me to make sure you were late," he says, grin getting even wider. "The words 'whatever it takes' were used."

"I take it back," Barry says, even though he vaguely recalls some reason he needed to be at work early this week. He does not trust that expression on the face of Leonard Snart, former world-controlling dictator, current supervillain, thief and all-around havoc on everybody's nerves. "I retract."

"Too late," Snart says, and pulls out the cold gun.

"I hate yooooooooou!"

But Barry's up and at 'em soon enough, and Snart is nice enough to give him a ride into work while Barry chomps on his breakfast (leftovers from breakfast-for-dinner they had last night - god, Mick's such a good cook), which Barry only realizes is weird when they walk into the CCPD still side-by-side.

"Bear," Joe says. "What is he doing here?"

Barry blinks, then turns to squint at Snart, whose smirk is positively cheery. "I'm not actually sure," he admits. "I think he followed me here. I'm not sure why."

"I thought you were dating the other one," Joe grumbles.

"I am," Barry says. "They're just, y'know, kind of a package deal. Hey, Snart? What're you doing here?"

"I'm taking Iris out for breakfast," Snart responds with a beaming smile. "She's meeting me here - ah, there she is!"

He sweeps away.

Joe's expression looks like a cat being strangled.

Barry munches on his last piece of French toast.

"Bear," Joe says.

"She's married to Eddie," Barry reminds him.

"Barry."

"She wouldn't cheat on him at all, and even if she did, she wouldn't be so obvious about it."

"Barry!"

"Besides, Snart doesn't do romantic relationships," Barry says. Or sex, which is what Joe really cares about, but Barry's not going to malign Snart's scary reputation by pointing it out. People are weird.

He goes to work, wondering what it is he's forgetting.

Mick comes around noon with a box of lunch that smells so good it has half the precinct eyeing them like hungry hawks, as opposed to how they usually look when Mick or Snart's around - angry, bitter, cheated.

Not that they can do anything - with their state records wiped and a federal pardon in hand for helping fight the aliens, even with their occasional acts of supervillainy, both of them are clean enough to run for mayor.

Not that that says much, in Central.

"How's your day going?" Mick asks, pulling out lunch.

"Busy," Barry admits. Ever since he's been making an effort not to super-speed through his work - one terrible evening feverishly trying to re-learn all the work he did in preparation for a trial is more than enough for him - his days have gone back to being pleasantly full.

And, hey, if he sometimes speeds through the boring stuff, no one can blame him.

"Do you remember why I asked Snart to wake me up this morning?" Barry asks, remembering. "I've totally forgotten."

"No clue," Mick says.

"Do you know why he's meeting with Iris?"

"Something about her newspaper," Mick says. "And, uh, y'know."

That 'y'know' meant Doomworld.

"I don't want to know," Barry decides.

"We still on for movies this afternoon?" Mick asks. "Cisco said he was covering for your, uh, run."

"Oh, yeah!" Barry says, brightening. "Definitely. I've been wanting to see this one for a while."

"Good," Mick says, and then he lapses quiet while Barry talks about his day so far. Mick prefers listening, generally, to talking; his words don't always come easy, as he puts it, and he's learned to pick them carefully as a result.

It's a very nice lunch. Afterwards, Barry auctions off the rest of the cupcakes Mick brought to the department - highest bidder among the science department takes a boring assignment off Barry's plate, highest among the detectives promises to pick Barry for the next interesting crime scene, and two cupcakes reserved special for Captain Singh for looking the other way, because, well, this is Central ("Triple chocolate caramel?" Singh groans. "Is he trying to make us all fat? Is that the latest supervillain scheme? You’d tell me if it was, right, Allen?") - and goes back to work.

"Planning on making out with your arsonist in public this afternoon?" Julian snipes.

Barry rolls his eyes at him.

He's just jealous that Barry's love life is infinitely more interesting that his own.

It's a good day, and Barry even manages to finish up all his open projects before heading out to meet Mick at the movies. He's only a little late, like twenty minutes, but they're still doing previews, so it's practically like he wasn't late at all.

Also, Mick got him three extra-large buckets of popcorn.

Best boyfriend ever.

They do end up making out in the back row, but only through the boring bits. Barry feels qualified to discuss it tomorrow. Loudly, and with specific references to scenes. Take that, Julian.

And then he gets home and his apartment's empty.

"What," Barry says.

"Who took all your stuff?" Mick asks, alarmed. "Should I -"

"Wait," Barry says.

"Wait?"

"I asked Snart to wake me up early so that I wouldn't be here when the movers arrived," Barry says. He stares at the empty apartment. "I didn't realize they'd be so - thorough."

Though, really, he should've. Snart had said something about supervising personally.

"Movers?" Mick asks.

"Yeah," Barry says. "We're moving in together."

"We are?"

"...Snart said it was your idea?" Barry suggests, throwing Snart under the bus right off the bat.

Mick considers it for a moment, then shrugs. "Good."

Barry can't help but hide a smile. Mick had been not-so-subtly stressing about asking Barry to move in for weeks, now, to the point where he was starting noticeably more fires than normal, so Barry had taken matters into his own hands, including maligning a (entirely willing) Snart for suggesting it.

Mick really did prefer major life events to have already happened, rather than looking forward to them.

Barry fully expects to be informed of his own wedding when he gets the first RSVP card back, honestly.

Barry rather likes it. Speedsters love surprises.

Joe had expressed some concern about it - he'd never quite approved of Mick or let go of his hopes that Barry and Iris would marry to live in platonic bliss like they'd planned when they were five, but he'd mostly let it go. He had, however, commented that it was 'weird' that they were planning on letting Snart room with them.

Barry pointed out that it was a common living arrangement in most of the globe, albeit usually with unattached family, and God knows that Snart is Mick's family as much as anyone still living.

Joe had asked if he was worried that any kids they adopted would get teased about it.

Barry told Joe he was way overthinking things, given that they were nowhere near the kids discussion, much less the practical issues involved with having a kid who would have a supervillain dad and a superhero dad - honestly, having a supervillain (anti-hero?) uncle living upstairs would hardly register on the kid's weird spectrum. Besides, having Snart around meant Mick still had his support system and someone to discuss his villainous outings with. And Barry likes Snart. He's funny and hilariously sneaky.

Though speaking of which -

"What was Snart doing with Iris earlier?" he asks, trailing Mick back to the car to head over to Mick's place (also Snart's, now also Barry's). "Now that we're not surrounded by cops."

"They're thinking of opening a PR firm."

"What?"

"Hero and villain image management."

"You're joking."

"Just as a part time thing. You know Snart's still got those spymaster itches from Doomworld."

"You give a man a worldwide network of informers, he doesn't give it up easy," Barry agrees, bemused. "Really? Is there enough of a market for that?"

"They're branching out. Kara and her cousin have expressed some interest in figuring out how to separate their brands some."

"Their first clients are in another universe?"

Mick shrugs.

"Well, if it makes them happy," Barry says after a moment. "Are they coming for dinner?"

Iris has been by practically every day, often along with Eddie, often not when he's working late. They live just down the street in a building Snart may or may not own through a number of shell companies.

Barry's trying to figure out when exactly to tell Iris that the 'once in a lifetime scoop' apartment was priced that way for a reason, and that reason being Snart's inability to let go of anyone he liked, ever.

Eventually.

He’ll tell them eventually.

(He’s pretty sure Eddie already suspects.)

Man, if Snart goes evil again next Doomworld, Barry's expecting to be collared and leashed to Mick with Iris and Eddie in the next opulent luxurious room next door. Possibly locked into a Jacuzzi and not allowed to come out for hours and hours.

...that doesn't sound so bad, actually. Barry will have to suggest it.

"Yeah," Mick says. "I was thinking of making chicken."

"Which chicken, the breaded-with-aromatics or the divine-sauce-from-heaven?"

"...sauced."

"Lemon, tomato, or other?"

"Lemon," Mick says, starting to sound suspicious. "You getting bored, Red?"

"No, just making menu plans for your eventual restaurant."

"I'm not gonna own a restaurant. No matter what you and Snart say."

Barry grins and heads inside to drop off his stuff. Everything he owns fits in just right alongside Mick's, it's like he was always there.

Just right.

[sleepynerdcollector-blog]

Crazy PLL Theory

My PLL theory is long and crazy; hear me out.  Season 3 is the most important season because that’s where all the clues are. Later I’ll write a theory on all the clues in season 3.  I think that Jessica D., Mr. Hastings, that Dr. on season 7 who attended Mary’s delivery, and Mr. Khan were involved in illegal adoptions at Radley. Jessica arranged the adoptions, Peter filled out the legal paperwork, the dr. attended the patients, and Noel’s dad signed the adoptions. They used different Radley patients as surrogates or impregnated them, took their babies, and sold the babies. They kept their female patients doped up or used electric shock therapy so their records showed they were crazy and no one would believe their story.  Characters who were adopted were: Spencer, Hanna, Lucas, Andrew, Maya, Wren, Bethany, Sara Harvey, Meredith, Paige, Holden, and possibly Jenna.  They sold the babies to people in Rosewood and in neighboring towns.  Some of these characters have come back to Rosewood to find out the truth about their births (Wren, Maya, Meredith).   I think Pastor Ted is Scott Montgomery and possibly Wren’s dad.  He has come to Rosewood to find his kid(s). Eddie Lamb is Maya’s dad (Mona says in code: I missed my dolls.  This could mean I met Mary Drake or I met Maya’s dad).  

Charlotte discovered the illegal adoptions and told Alison.  They both devised a plan to blackmail Jessica, Peter, and Noel’s dad. This would explain how Charlotte had so much money and the stashes of money that Alison had in the house.  Alison has a twin sister.  This would explain the 2 yellow dresses. Ken thinks the twin is dead, he doesn’t know that she survived and that Jessica gave her away.  The twin would stand in for Alison every now and then and this explains Ali’s mood swings and her sudden personality change in season 5 and 6.

In season 3 episode 3, Mona tells Hanna, “you can’t trust anybody, not even family.”  This was a clue.  She wanted Hanna to know that the people who are harassing them are family members.  Lucas is acting crazy because that’s when he discovers that he is adopted and he is a triplet. Mary Drake’s triplets: Lucas, Spencer, and another girl.  He wants to tell Spencer, but that would mess up Charlotte and Ali’s plan to continue blackmailing the parents.  I keep thinking of how Ali called him a hermaphrodite.  Maybe he really was, and she knew this because Charlotte told her. And that’s why Peter didn’t adopt him, perhaps the Hastings had taken both girls, but the other sister hurt Spencer and they put her in Radley.  Spencer doesn’t remember her clearly; in her mind she sees her as Melissa just like Jason was told Charlie was an imaginary friend.  I saw a picture on twitter of Emma Dumont a new cast member to PLL in a wheelchair who also looks a lot like Spencer.   Perhaps she is the fragile patient who was accused of pushing Marion Cavanaugh.  Peter knows this and so he convinces Toby to settle with Radley over his mother’s death.  What Peter doesn’t know is that the fragile patient didn’t push Marion, it was Jessica. Perhaps Marion discovered what was going on in Radley and threatened to blow the whistle, so Jessica killed her and blamed Bethany.

I think that Spencer did hit Ali’s twin with the shovel and just doesn’t remember because of the drugs she was on, speed and sleeping pills that Ali put in her drink.  Melissa buried her and Wren gets her out.  Mona and or Charlotte tell Toby about Spencer, so Toby joins the A team; he does this to protect Spencer.  He tries to run over Lucas to scare him into keeping quiet because he knows this would mess Spencer up and then the truth about what she did would come out.  Garret alludes to Spencer about medical records because he knows that Spencer is not Veronica’s daughter.   Ali is also alive; I think that Charlotte hit her intentionally.  Maybe she had a deal with Jessica because she knew about the illegal adoptions and so even though Charlotte hit Ali, Jessica protected her to keep Charlotte quiet about the adoptions. Charlotte has been lying since the beginning to save herself, when she realizes that Ali is alive, she joins forces with her to continue pretending that she is her ally.  Maya is also alive.  Her death was just like Ali’s.  Same song and everything.  Plus, in episode 5 of season 3 (A) is seen going through Maya’s bag.  In her bag is a prescription for pills that was filled months after they found Maya’s body. Maya fakes her death to continue investigating. Since Jessica buries her own child, Ali and Charlotte blackmail her. She pays Wilden to fix it.  Wilden being a cop gets a body from the morgue and buries it in place of Alison.   Jessica begins to stalk the girls on her own to try and find Ali before they do. Again in season 3, Bart one of the witnesses against Garrett says he saw Maya get into a police car.  Everyone assumes they’re talking about Garrett’s police car, but I think they’re talking about Wilden’s.  He helps Maya fake her death and provides a corpse in her place. So in season 3 when Ali’s body goes missing, it’s an elaborate plan to avoid the autopsy.  Wilden knows that if they do an autopsy on Ali’s remains they will discover that it’s not Ali’s body.  Wilden may be Charles and Charlotte might actually be Bethany, Wren’s sister. I think that Wilden is still alive, but that’s another theory.

Ezra is writing a true crime book at least that’s what he originally wanted to do, but then he discovers this adoption scandal at Radley and begins investigating, that’s why Marlene said all the answers are in 3B (his apartment and in also in the 3B part of the season).  He helps Charlotte because she promises to give him the evidence about Radley.  Meanwhile Wren also helps Charlotte because he wants to know who his real parents are. She tells him she is his sister.  He doesn’t want to hurt the girls, but he has to pretend to be on Charlotte’s side.  He seems like a very lonely character.  He wants so much to be loved.  Season 3 clearly shows this.  Some people think he’s creepy.  I just think he really wants to be a part of something; first with Spencer in season 2 where he asks her if she wants them to pretend that nothing ever happened between them, and then in season 3 with Hanna.  When he is coloring the picture of the family, I think it’s because he initially thinks that Mary might be his mom because Charlotte lied to him. Perhaps Andrew is his other brother. In the doll house we see a family, a blonde girl, a brunette boy, and the mom is touching her stomach.  A lot of the things in the doll house resemble the stuff in Wren’s apartment.  I really hope he isn’t Charles, because he made out with his own sister, Spencer. That’s just gross.

Meredith is crazy, and in season 3, she is working with Mona.  Mona calls her to tell her that Byron has left for his conference, so she can continue drugging Aria.  I think either she was adopted as well or she was just another patient at Radlley. Aria has a mental disorder that is crystal clear.  Her brother Mike acts all weird, maybe he’s the one who is adopted in that family that would explain his erratic behavior.  

Paige leaves to California and I think it’s because her family is being blackmailed about her adoption.  We discover later that Andrew was also adopted.  I think Hanna might be adopted because A always messes the most with Hanna.  In short, I think that the people who are helping Charlotte and Ali are all being blackmailed into helping her.  Noel helps her because they told him about his dad’s involvement in the illegal adoptions and he suddenly thinks he might be adopted too.  There are so many clues in season 3.  In episode 6 Jason is talking to Spencer and Peter is spying on them. He says two things that really caught my attention.  The first is that he felt that Ian was recording for someone else.  Later when Peter talks to Jason about leaving Spencer alone, he tells Jason that Spencer is dealing with the trial, and her sister. Jason interrupts and says, “which sister exactly are you talking about?  Because as it turns out, I have more than one.”  This makes me think he knows about Spencer having more than one sister.    

65j0�^� �\

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

The reason I think Amber could be innocent is because people always say terrible things about actors/actresses who join the DCEU. Gal Gadot, Jared Leto, Henry Cavill, and Ezra Miller.

Sorry, what?

That has literally nothing to do with anything. Whether she’s innocent or guilty has nothing to do with the DCEU beyond the fact she should be fired ASAP. She is literally the reason I refused to watch Aquaman despite loving Jason Momoa and Patrick Wilson. I’m not into superhero movies but I genuinely enjoy DCEU more than Marvel and trust me, that’s not why people are saying she’s guilty.

She’s guilty because she’s guilty, because Johnny Depp has multiple witnesses - including Amber’s own friend - who’ve said that they never once saw her with a bruise or any marks. Most recently someone called Tara Roberts testified, saying she saw Amber physically and verbally abusing Johnny Depp, saying he was “fat” and “you’ll never have a career”, also throwing cans of paint thinner at him.

There’s also been photos of the absolutely horrendous physical abuse she’s subjected him to, including a photo of him in hospital AND a photo of his severed finger that SHE did to him. She was also arrested in the past for abusing her ex-girlfriend - she tried to accuse the arresting cop of “homophobia” when, in fact, the cop was an out-lesbian married to another woman.

I can’t even be bothered to go through all of the evidence Johnny has provided over the past few months. @becauseitisjohnnydepp will probably be able to provide all the different documents and evidence because they’re an angel who has done the Lord’s work since 2016 when this whole mess started by collecting every bit of evidence and such.

I 100% stand by women who are actual abuse victims - but I also believe all of the women who have come forward in Johnny’s defense to say that actually, Amber Heard abused him, and that he was the abused victim. I stand by all abuse victims, especially men who are too afraid to come forward because they’re afraid they will be viewed as weak or “not a man” or accused of lying for telling the truth.

As for people always saying stuff about the DCEU actors, the only one I can think of is Gal Gadot and people saying she was bad because she did service or something for her country? I don’t know, I don’t really care. I’m not invested enough in the DCEU to know what everyone says about them or what they’ve done that’s supposedly problematic - I just enjoyed Wonder Woman and Ezra Miller’s Flash :p

As for Ezra...I’ve only ever heard the loveliest things about Ezra Miller. I have in fact MET Ezra Miller (a fact I never stop talking about) and can confirm he is one of the kindest and most beautiful people in the world, inside and out.

You know what he did? He was the last Beasts cast member to leave the London premiere last November because he wanted to get to every single fan who waited for him, especially the ones in my fan pen who got the shit end of the deal and didn’t get to meet many of the other cast (the only other people who came over to us were Eddie and Jude - and Jude was rather reserved but polite. Eddie was a literal fucking angel). Literally, he was the very last cast member to leave the premiere because he was trying to get to everyone. He took like seven selfies with me and then stole my phone, took 30+ selfies of himself being silly in front of us, and then gave me my phone back - because he’s Ezra and he’s a sweetheart. I still have those selfies he took on my phone.

And you know what, while we’re on the topic? The only other person who stayed for nearly as long as Ezra was Johnny Depp. The only reason he left before Ezra was because his security were getting agitated and had to physically drag him away. He kept on trying to continue signing autographs and talking to fans, but security literally had to stop him because the car was waiting. I’ve noticed that every event he goes to, he tries to see as many fans as possible because he knows that fans wait a long ass time (sometimes in the cold and rain, especially if its England). He doesn’t have to, he could seriously just decide “nah, not worth it” - but he’s a good person and clearly cares about the fans.

So...yeah. I’m sorry if I’m coming across as agitated or rude, but I had a lot of anons on my last blog harassing me with “you’re an abuse apologist” and “you’re disgusting go die” because I dared to say “hang on, Amber’s story doesn’t match up” and “I don’t think he did it” - and clearly, judging by the evidence from him and lack therof from her, I wasn’t wrong.

[fixomnia-scribble]

Blue Bloods 8x09 Ramble

“Pain Killers”

Spoilers, etc.

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If “Pick your Poison” was the episode in which all the bad stuff piled up like a garbage strike in its third week, this episode was the one in which everyone had reasonable but opposing points to make. Fitting that the final scene was simply Jamie sighing and scratching his crinkled brow in utter resignation.

The presence of paroled or post-sentence child molesters in the community is one of the most divisive topics imaginable, whether one is a parent or not. Some believe that they should never be released into the community. Some see them as fair game and social punching bags. Some believe that, having served out their sentence and living under a lifetime of tight restrictions, they should live as any other citizen, including being legally protected from assault. The family dinner table discussion was, shall we say, lively and could have gone on forever with no backing down on either side: Danny, Henry and Jack firmly in the vigilante-sympathetic camp, Erin, Nicky and Jamie (the lawyers and maybe-someday lawyer) in the legal-right-to-exist camp. (Once again, the kids are finally allowed to have adult opinions and remind the adults that they are quite aware of the world. Right on.) And Frank in the middle with the somewhat bizarre claim that he would likely have issued a similar pre-emptive beat-down on a ex-con child molester living nearby, “But then walked himself to the nearest precinct and turned himself in, because the laws are there to stop people doing that.” (paraphrased) Still shaking my head over that equivocating little hypothetical. People don’t generally do that. I rather think Frank would’ve let fly with this meat hooks, been assisted in covering it up by his colleagues, and carried it around with him for the rest of his life, some days feeling justified and some days feeling like a bad cop and servant of the law.

Even professional cops have a huge division of opinion, as Eddie and Jamie noted. Eddie was right to wonder if they could be held liable for harassment if they questioned the guy without a reason, or warned him they were paying attention. Jamie was right to let the guy know that his neighbours were circulating information about him, and that the police were aware of the situation. He might’ve driven the point home a little harder that the police were there to protect him, too, from bodily harm. But as the fellow later noted - he was half hoping to be beaten to death rather than live out his life without absolution, universally hated. (Also, nice split-second timing with these two, as usual. Jamie, mildly: “You wanna wait in the car?” Eddie: quick glance of “I’d really rather sit this one out, but you are my partner and I got your back.”)

Nice to see Erin and Abetemarco again! I’ve missed them. Even with two lines in the entire episode, Abetemarco delivered his usual deceptively simple depth of feeling and support of Erin - I do love how he does that. And we now know he’s a father of three. I bet his kids are charming and goofy.

Baez’ fentanyl OD through fingertip contact with evidence was horrifying, because it’s happened. I know of five cops so far who have experienced contact exposure to the most minute traces of opioids and required hospitalization. Danny (Donnie) really came through as a frantic cop trying to stop kids OD’ing (who are the age of his own kids), and haul his partner through a week in a coma only a few months after the death of his wife. The smarmy little prep school dealer and druggie buddies, of course, had parents who are lawyers. While I would not have wished death on either of them, it was sweet to see the dealer’s face fall when he realized he’d painted himself into a corner.

Interesting to hear the doctor’s side of the opioid crisis debate, for once. (And I loved the actress playing the ER doctor!) Doctors are trying to provide better health outcomes, and proper pain control is certainly part of that. (And many with chronic pain are still routinely turned away and treated as drug addicts for even asking for the opioid pain control they need to function at all.) As the doctor noted, they don’t have the resources to monitor post-operative patients all the time. (i.e. administering pain meds during single-dose outpatient visits.) But it does place doctors unwittingly in the drug pipeline, as they prescribe opioids that patients then turn around and sell.

There was a third plotline involving the Governor, State Troopers and a logjam in in the tunnel due to random police checks, but honestly I zapped through it because it was boring.

[robininthelabyrinth]

i wish you would write a coldwest fic with the prompt: "whatever it is you're about to ask, no."

Fic: What Drives Us - Chapter 1 (Ao3 link)Fandom: The Flash, DC’s Legends of TomorrowPairing: Leonard Snart/Iris West, Barry Allen/Mick Rory

Summary: The people you date can bring out different sides of you.

A/N: This ‘fic’ is actually two short prompt fills that ended up being in the same universe, so I decided I’d make it its own fic in case I wanted to keep going.

———————————————————-

��Whatever it is you’re about to ask, no.”

Len raises both of his eyebrows.

Iris points at him. “No.”

“But you haven’t even -”

“No!”

“Now that’s just unfair,” he drawls.

She hates it when he drawls. It’s so unfairly sexy. It shouldn’t even be sexy - it’s horrid and nasal and so incredibly him, and it’s really just not okay for that to be as intriguing as it is.

“Still no,” she insists, but he can see her weakening.

“I’ll trade you for it,” he offers.

Iris’ eyes narrows. “I’m not agreeing to something blindly, what sort of idiot do you think I am?”

“For the opportunity to make my case,” he clarifies.

“If I let you ‘make your case’, you’ll convince me,” she says. Experience has taught her that much. “So no.”

He shrugs.

…is he really just going to accept her answer?

Damnit, it looks like he is.

If only she wasn’t so curious, she’d be impressed.

Unfortunately for her, she is that curious.

“Fine,” she concedes grumpily. “What’s your offer? For the right to make your case, that is.”

He manages to look remarkably smug despite making a careful (almost pointed) effort not to actually smirk outright.

“Two orgasms,” he says promptly. “Deliverable at the time, place and position of your choosing, with the exception of mid-heist or otherwise pitched battle.”

He’d learned that one the hard way. Iris was really quite proud of how she’d managed to totally derail one of his heists without revealing the nature of their relationship. (She’d just yelled at him that he owed her and threatened to call it in right then and there. Everyone had assumed it was something Flash or journalism related, thank god.)

Also, two guaranteed orgasms was nothing to sneer at. Say what you will about Leonard Snart, you definitely couldn’t fault his work ethic.

There was a reason she kept falling into bed with him.

Besides, well…

“Fine,” she says again. “Done. Now what’s the idea? And just so you know, I’m starting from a 'no’ position.”

This time, Len smirks.

“I was thinking,” he says. “The Legends are coming back day after tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah…”

“I was thinking we could throw a party,” he says. “Nice little thing. Here, maybe. Invite Caitlin and Shawna now that they’ve hooked up, drag Cisco and Lisa out of their love nest…get a few drinks, make a few canapes…”

Iris blinks. “We as in - you and me?” she hazards a guess, because that’s what it sounds like, but he couldn’t possibly mean…

He nods.

“How in the world is that a good idea?” she demands. “You know my dad will go ballistic if he ever finds out about this!” She waves between the two of them: the crumpled sheets, the nudity, the whole lot of it.

“That’s exactly the reasoning.”

“Why the hell would I agree to bring my dad’s wrath down on my head? There’s no reason in the world that -”

“It’ll distract your dad from the fact that he caught Barry and Mick making out in Saints and Sinners the other day.”

Iris winces and sits up, catching the blanket before it drops down. It occurs to her she might’ve had more leverage if they’d been dressed while having this conversation, but damnit, she’d had a really bad day at work and she’d needed some exercise of the stress-relieving variety. That’s not important now. “He caught them?”

“Yesterday evening,” Len confirms. “And now he’s gotten it into his head that Barry was cheating on you, and he is pissed.”

“But we’re not together!”

“Anymore. And you never did tell your dad that, did you?”

Iris groans and thumps her head back onto the pillow. Len settles gently by her side. He’d managed to slink back into a shirt and pants sometime after she’d fallen asleep. He always did; it was like magic.

“We separated because Barry was being unduly paranoid about my future, losing me, making me a target, etc.” she says, staring at the ceiling. “And then Barry bonded with Mick over losing loved ones, and then just as they finally fall into bed together, you come back from the dead and mess everything up -”

“Not intentionally,” Len says, but it’s not defensive. He knows how close he came to messing things up for Barry and Mick - and not through any ill-will of his own, just by being there.

“ - and then we had to work together to get them back together, and that was just ridiculous -”

That’d been when they’d fallen into bed together. It had been necessary stress relief, as Barry and Mick were both so bullheadedly stubborn that both Len and her were going totally spare trying to convince them that their respective issues did not mean that they were doomed to be sad and alone forever despite the availability of a similarly pining person to whom they were overwhelmingly attracted.

“- and there just wasn’t time to explain to Dad that we’d broken up.”

“Technically, you’re still just separated,” Len says comfortingly. “Just, you know, also sleeping with other people.”

“Says the guy who’s married to Mick.”

“Why not? No testifying, hospital privileges, better tax bracket…”

“I can’t believe you guys did that.”

“It was in the middle of a heist,” Len confesses. “Pride Parade, Boston, 2004 - we ended up hiding from the heat in a line for quickie marriages – they waived the waiting requirement –”

Iris laughs.

“The would-be arresting officer ended up as our witness.”

“Oh god. That’s just stupid enough to be true.”

“Of course, we’ll get divorced,” he adds. “Hell, we could get it annulled if we wanted, but what with no-fault divorce, I figure we’ll just sign the papers officially at the party.”

“Why’s that?” she asks, still imagining that poor cop’s face when he was asked to witness a marriage between two (platonic!) criminal soulmates.

“Well, bigamy’s illegal,” Len says. “And you did tell me up front I wasn’t allowed to drag you into anything illegal.”

Iris rolls over and stares at him. “Are you proposing?”

“Why not? No testifying, hospital privileges, better tax bracket…”

She stares at him.

“…you don’t have to say yes,” he clarifies. “I figure the shock of actual matrimony is the only thing that’ll get your dad off of his current bout of overprotective father induced homophobia. And before he tells Oliver and Oliver comes and sticks his stupid nose into everything with another ‘Barry, I think you need to re-think your relationship with your Rogues’ rant.”

“My dad’s going to kill us,” Iris says faintly.

“Tell him you’re pregnant,” Len suggests.

Iris considers this. “Well,” she says. “I guess if we start with ‘shotgun wedding’ and twin babies – one yours, one Barry’s what do you think?”

“I love it,” Len says, totally sincere. No one was as committed to serious hard-core trolling than Leonard Snart.

Unless, of course, you were Iris West.

“Conceived in a threesome, of course,” she adds.

“For shame, Iris,” Len says. “Foursome, obviously. With a married couple, no less.”

“So we went swinging and came out the revolving door with the wrong couple?”

“Exactly!”

“Yeah, after that he’ll definitely be a lot happier to hear they’re just dating. Or that we’re just dating. Wait. Are we dating?”

“I have no idea,” Len says. “Does it matter? I’ll get you a nice piece of ice for the engagement ring. Possibly even legally. Maybe.”

“You’d better, Captain Cold,” Iris says, then frowns. “Not that one you stole way back when, though.”

“The Kahndaq Dynasty diamond?”

“That one. Too big. I’m going to have to lug it around the entire time we’re doing this; it’ll break my hand.”

“Definitely,” Len agrees. “Size of your thumb good?”

“I should have stuck with 'no’,” she sighs. “But what the hell, he deserves it for the whole harassing Eddie and setting up me and Barry thing.”

Then she thinks about it for a second.

“You know,” she says slowly, “I have a friend who could probably get us a fake ultrasound…”

“You’re the best,” Len says, and kisses her.